#and that’s interfering w/my ability to enjoy the show

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

i am enjoying brilliant minds for, like, the characters and the stories and appearing to be the opposite of house md and such, but. i have been working for a hospital for too long.

what do you mean the neurosurgeon can just. declare that neuro is done caring for a mutual patient

what do you mean neuro is still in charge of the case when they discover the patient’s condition wasn’t ever neurological

what do you mean a patient flatlines and not a single nurse is in the room before anesthesia

what do you mean you have four first year neuro residents and one attending

actually, i have to break that one down

four first year neuro residents and no others? did your residency program only just start this year?? and you got four matches your first year??

four first year neuro residents and one attending? that ratio is insane. how do any of them get anything done. how does wolf have time to breathe.

[redstarwriting]

My Light

Stephen Strange x Reader

Request: “Prompt for whenever you want it: the reader is the legal guardian of their sibling's (who died in an accident) toddler and the reader is trying her best at parenting. One day they find out the child has magic abilities, but everything goes tits up because Mordo shows up and tries to take said powers. Cue our favorite sorcerer saving the day. May we have a progression of him and the reader falling for each other? Thanks in advance and feel free to disregard the ask if it is too silly”

Word Count: 1,773

Genre: Fluff | Little Angst

Warnings: swearing, death of a loved one, attempted murder, Mordo in general

A/N: Very sorry for how long this took me to write! Like I said, writer’s block is a bitch. But it’s here now! And the ask was not silly at all! It was very fresh and fun actually. I hope you enjoy it! I write best for Stephen it seems, so hopefully I lived up to your expectations! Also, I made the child gender neutral because why not, you know?

───────────────────────────────────

“Ori. Put. The paintbrush. Down,” you try your best to sound strict, but Ori the two-year-old has other plans. They just painted an entire… emblem, you guess, on the wall of your apartment. Again. You cannot figure out how they keep getting into the locked painting cabinet butt yet here you both are. You just sigh before bending over and picking them up, only to get a paintbrush to the face. “Okay, Ori, now you’ve done it,” you say, a mischievous glint in your eye. Ori looks at you with confusion before you snatch the paintbrush, setting it to the side and gently toss them on your couch and scream, “You’ve unleashed the… Tickle Monster!” You “attack” them, only to be met with happy shrieks and giggles. You’ve discovered this is an easy way to tire them and distract them from what they were just doing. You’re just now getting the hand at this whole… parenting thing. Ori isn’t your biological child, they’re your sister’s. Sadly, she died in a freak accident, leaving little Ori in your care. The worst part is Ori was there when she died. One day when she was cooking, the oven malfunctioned and exploded, catching the entire house on fire. It’s believed that she was killed instantly in the blast, and even though Ori was playing ouutside when it happened, they were still there for the entire incident. Granted, they didn’t understand it, but still. It’s really sad. And you’re trying your hardest to be the absolute best parent for them as you possibly can be.

They just make it so damn hard sometimes.

After your tickle-tack, Ori was worn out. It was about their nap time anyways, so you take them to their “big kid bed” as they just stopped sleeping in a crib, and tuck them in. Of course, you still have a baby monitor in their room to see and hear when they need anything. You go and sit on your couch, reveling in the moment of silence you have while Ori sleeps. Then suddenly, their crying pulls you out of it. You sigh, getting up to go check on them only to realize that when you get to their room, there’s a man in there. And he’s targeting Ori. Oh hell no.

“Who the fuck are you?!” you scream, immediately picking up one of Ori’s wooden blocks and hurling it at the intruder’s head. Good call, (Y/n). That’ll stop him. He doesn’t even catch it, just waves his hand and it deflect back, hitting you directly between the eyes instead. “Ow…” you mumble, rubbing the spot where the block collided with you. “This is none of your concern,” the man says, beginning to move his one hand in a circular motion while holding the other in place in front of him. You hear something behind you and turn around to see an orange glowing circle leading into what looks like the ocean?! What the fuck?! Suddenly, the man runs toward you, and you scream thinking you’re about to get pushed in when suddenly he is literally thrown against the wall beside him.

“Bad,” you hear Ori squeak, and you turn your attention to them only to see their hand out in front of them and… is that magic coming out of their palm? “You made this complicated, young lady,” the man says, standing up again, and you turn your attention to him once more. “W-what-”

“I didn’t want to kill you, but it appears now I must. This child’s real mother interfered when I tried to take their powers the first time. It appears I’ll have to do what I did last time again,” he says, and your blood runs cold. Did this man just admit to murdering your sister? And did he just say he was going to murder you too? You were frozen in place when he started running at you again. This time, though, another portal looking thing appeared and another man stepped into Ori’s room, and the other guy was suddenly frozen mid-run. Max capacity for this room is you and Ori, by the way, so there was a lot going on in a space that did not hold that much. “You gave me quite the chase, Mordo, but it looks like it’s over,” this new guy says, and you break out of your frozen state to run over to Ori and pick them up.

The man named Mordo follows you with his eyes, and you glare at him. The man who saved you walks toward this Mordo character, but before he can do anything, he suddenly breaks out of the trapped state he’s in and starts swinging his staff at him. The guy who saved you and Ori curses under his breath, and suddenly, you’re pushed into a new location with him following. You look around, noticing that you’re somewhere with what looks like a bunch of antiques. “Sorry about that, I figured the best thing to do was flee here instead of completely destroying your place. Besides, I’m not so sure you would be able to handle the mirror realm, so I definitely wasn’t about to take you there. Now, let me explain everything that just happened.”

You blink and the next thing you know, you’re in a chair while Ori is preoccupied with a giant coloring book and multiple crayons. “Your sister’s child possesses a type of raw magical talent, and I’m afraid the man who broke into your home is going around and stealing magic from others who have it. I believe it would be beneficial for you and the child to live here for a period of time until I either apprehend him or Ori is able to defend themselves if needed.” “Uh… wait okay, hold on, what?”

“Well, I was pretty blunt with my explanation but-”

“No, I understood your explanation I’m just a little shocked over the fact that this little thing is magical, that Mordo dick literally murdered my sister, and now you’re telling me it would be beneficial if I moved into this place when I don’t even know who you are or where this place is and I don’t have any of my belongings and-“

“Calm down, (Y/n). I’ve had all your belongings transferred over to here already. My name is Stephen Strange, and I need to teach Ori about their powers before Mordo takes them from them,” Stephen explains, and you just stare at him. “I promise you this is to protect you and Ori. Mordo won’t stop until every sorcerer and sorceress no longer has magic. I can help.”

And that is how you ended up living in the Sanctum Sanctorum with Stephen Strange with Ori. This place was a lot nicer than your tiny two bedroom apartment, and the best part is you didn’t even have to pay rent. Even if you wanted to go to work, Stephen said it would be too much of a risk with the lunatic magic stealer still running around, so you couldn’t even work anymore. You mainly spent your time playing with Ori or walking around, tidying up and reading. Although you weren’t learning magic or anything. No matter how many times Stephen tried to convince you to.

Oh, speaking of Stephen, the two of you really hit it off. So much so that after about three weeks, Ori started calling him “daddy.” Both of you were taken aback by that and frantically tried to explain to them that, no, Stephen was in fact not their dad, but they weren’t having it. Of course, you found the sorcerer very attractive and didn’t necessarily hate the idea of him being Ori’s “dad,” but honestly, he probably didn’t feel the same and it would be so complicated having two magic users in the family are you kidding.

Nonetheless, Stephen did treat Ori like his child as well, which made you two talk even more than usual. After a while, you two knew each other better than anyone else.  It started slow, with him just asking how your day was and how Ori liked their new home and such, but eventually faded into him asking how you were, no how you really were don’t give him that fine bullshit, what your favorite foods were, what you thought of his outfit, what you were doing later, all these things.

Of course, this all progressed after a few years. In fact, Ori was now five years old, and you have never met someone who advocated for you to get a significant other more than this kid. You always told them you didn’t have time, and that you would find one when you wanted to. Ori would then bring up the time that Stephen gave you the biggest room in the Sanctum when you got there, and the time that Stephen got you your favorite food because you had a bad day, and that time that Stephen took you out on the anniversary of your sister’s death to distract you from missing her and how he did that literally every year and, yeah. You get the point. Ori wanted you and Stephen to get together. And the damn kid was too smart and remembered literally everything at age 5 maybe you should just stop telling them stuff.

Then one day, Stephen approached you while Ori was busy practicing magic. “May I sit?” he asks, and you grin up at him, nodding. He sits next to you and clears his throat. “Ori has gotten very good, you know,” he says, and you nod. “Yeah. Their magic is really strong. And pretty. Prettier than yours, anyway,” you tease him, and he grins. “Well, that’s what happens when your magic is light based. It’s always a sight to behold.” “Light based?”

“Yes, their magic is unique, and they certainly have a flair for making someone’s day brighter,” he says, and you laugh. “Yeah. Well, I guess their name fits them.”

“Oh?” “Don’t tell me Mr. Sorcerer Supreme I-Am-An-Actual-Doctor-You-Know doesn’t know what Ori means.”

“Looks like I’m stumped.” “Wow. Okay, well Ori quite literally means ‘my light’ in Hebrew. I guess my sister named them well,” you explain, and Stephen nods. “Well, they certainly brought light to my life,” he says, and you grin. “Good, I’m glad. They brought light to mine as well,” you say, staring at them as they practice. You don’t even notice Stephen looking at you until he speaks, “The light they brought me was you, by the way.”

Needless to say, Ori got their wish of you and Stephen getting together.

[kurtty-drabbles]

Juniper au

N/A: The movie sucks and it was the boring shit I ever saw, however, I´ll admit that it has some interesting concepts, so, I´ll use them better here.

@djinmer4 @dannybagpipesarecalling @sailorstar9 @discordsworld @look-ma-no-hands336

Everyone has their own quirks, Scott, for example, likes to cock, Rogue often is caught seeing the obscure songs that few ever remember and Kitty often loves to talk about dreams, however, one small detail is noticed here, she never mentioned her dreams.

After Jean Grey revealed to be Pheonix and the team is not uneven. No one here shares any love for Jean, but, they all mourn the loss of a teammate. Kitty is thinking about Jean´s dream( Jean was too snob to talk so freely about her dreams with Kitty, yet, she knows what she dreams before going to Shiar)

"Dreams and reality aren´t linked or maybe it is and we can´t understand" Kitty interjected in the silence as the orange glow hits Kitty´s room and there´s only the void in the room. Silence and Kitty. An odd combination.

Suddenly, a ship from out of this world makes their presence know. A technology that allows for fast movement and stealth and the X-men, all the seniors(the juniors are confident the X-men can win) are outside to see what it is.

The ship opens the shuttle and two golden people show up. Cyclops, taking the role of a leader speaks proudly. " We´re the X-men, who are you and what you want with us?"

A woman with golden hair(amazing, Kitty mentally adds, how the gold hue is not consonant, each one has a different type of golden hue) bows elegantly to the X-men.

"Cyclops, we mean no harm, we´re the Zagrons, we humbly ask for your help, the X-men may be our last hope. My name is Katryz, and I have nowhere to go" The woman speaks in a hissed tone. Suddenly, a woman with red hair(Fire. Kitty thought for a moment. So much fire) did give a bow and give more details.

The golden man didn't speak as the non-gold person is speaking. "my name is Venus. The planet of Zagrons is dying. The Inhumans" the name sparkle recognition and disdain by everyone "are sending toxic gas that is killing our population and...please, my family will die" Venus didn´t give more details as she´s crying now.

Kitty saw. Kitty dreams. Kitty spoke and Cyclops is speaking in a more friendly tone now. "We just returned from the space, but, the X-men are nothing if heroes, please, Venus, Katryz, let´s talk, we want to help" his voice has warm.

Kitty notices how they are looking at Kitty with admiration for a moment and Kitty remember her dreams. Dream and reality are two different things.

_____________________________________________________________________________

The planet is gold, yet, Kitty and Cyclops can see how some of the trees(the golden ones) are dying. And Venus explained how this planet was created, their religion and how the Inhuman decides to kill this planet.

Cyclops, Rogue, Gambit, Bobby and Kitty are looking at the devastation location and Venus is explaining how they can help, after all, surviving the confrontation with the Shiar and the Pheonix and to top of all, they even fight the Inhumans and win, sure they can help.

Venus gives the details and how their powers can help, however, the Queen Katryz, ask Kitty to come with her for a moment. "Come here, Miss Pryde, you seem a nice person, a person that enjoys culture"

"Yes, the Shiars mentioned how Pheonix is their goodness. A god of life and destruction" Kitty pipes in as the Queen is guiding her to the sacred liturgy. "Do you workship the Pheonix too?"

"I think you very well we don´t workship the faux god of creation" Katryz replied with a winning smile and Kitty finds out, then again, she dreams, dreams and dream with the infinite. "We workship Zaorva and this is her temple"

Kitty looks at the symbol in front of her. Is alien, new and stranger, yet, Kitty can read the symbol perfectly.

"In the eyes of the mother we´re all equal, the life has many forms, but the essence shall never die. Life is sacred and the mother will take care of life for those who follow her word" Kitty read the word vehemently. "But, Zaorva is an outer god, who she can be ...a she?"

"Good question, Zaorva did prefer female masks, but, we had a record of Zaorva using male masks" The Queen answers pleased.

"Why am I here?" Kitty asked confused. Images of infinite invade her mind.

"Because Miss Pryde you´re here and that´s a wonderful occasion"

_____________________________________________________________________________

Queen Medusa caught a word that Zagrons are trying to revert their mist and Medusa won´t stand for that. Her people will survive no matter what, however, much to her dismay the Herald is here.

"Venus!" Medusa let her hair be alive as there´s no love for Venus as the sentiment is reciprocated. "How dare to enter this castle?"

"I´m here to politely ask for you to stop the mist or ..." she threats and Medusa narrow her eyes at the red hair, the simpleton Herald "You dare to threaten me?!  Your god is dead you held no power here"

"Are you sure?" and those 3 words are enough to calm the insane hair and make the royal family lost their bravado.

"It can´t be! You´re bluffing" Medusa hissed for the last time.

"Try me, come on, try me and let´s see if this planet can survive to her presence" Venus smirk as she looks at the big window with satisfaction "remember what Zaorva did here the last time...don´t prove her wrong or she´ll finish the job" the great crater where nothing will ever born, the smell of death is strong and no one dares to touch the crater.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Kitty dreams. Dreams and dreams. Far too lucid, far too real and Kitty can say those dreams are more memories than anything else. The power of creation is far beyond what anyone can even hope to understand.

Kitty is looking at the image of the real Zaorva, no mask, no gender, creating a planet with pink, purple and azure, and suddenly, Kitty smiles as thinking the said planet could use a moon, so, she goes where real Zaorva is and created a moon.

Meanwhile, the Shiar noticed how the planet Kalsor suddenly got a moon and the Phenonix didn´t create the moon, it was a desert planet, nothing there who would be worth her time...SHE created that planet.

Pheonix didn´t create a moon. And IT wouldn´t bother...why there´s a moon now?

___________________________________________________________________________

The X-men are happy their help provide to be useful as the mist finally stop and the environment is slowly reverting to their natural form and Kitty is the only one who is truly happy(not that the others aren´t, but, Kitty shares a connection with this planet. Is in her dreams, is in her mind and Kitty prefers this way)

"We´re so happy with your help, please, before go, let us celebrate the help and X-men the help won´t forget ever" The Queen comments and Cyclops accepts the request have another ally is always good.

However, Cyclops noticed how they treat Kitty in a different. The feast was amazing and everyone was treated well, however, Rogue noticed how the royal family seem to enjoy chat with Kitty, especially, Venus...come again, Venus is not Gold, why is she here?

"Miss Pryde, do you know what´s our best ability?" the Queen inquiries excited.

"Tracking information" Kitty answer easily and Venus nods impressed.

"And, I would like to show you something, " Venus speaks with total respect to Kitty.

"Ok, you can drop the Miss Pryde, Kitty is fine"

________________________________________________________________________

Silver Surfer is not a person who gives into fear easily, is not that the man is emotionless, however, the Herald of Galaticus is not the one to give in to fear that easily.

Today, is a different moment as Silver Silver is feeling fear. Galaticus noticed and as this isn´t interfering with his job won´t ask. "She´s back" the Herald exclaimed muttering as his body stop shivering.

Galaticus look at his Herald. "Who?"

"Zaorva!" The Herald answers honestly.

"I´ve heard tons of stories like that, IT´s cult and followers want to please him and always lie and always end in IT´s belly" Galaticus explained bemused.

"Is the real Zaorva, she´s at Zagrons, created a moon to the planet Iris, the Pheonix sense her presence...and..."Galaticus waits as Silver Surfer concludes the information" she knows IT´s real name...."

Galaticus is speechless for a moment, until, he commands. "I want more information, if this is a hoax, I want all the details, no one, aside outer gods know IT´s real name"

And the Herald goes. Galaticus fears....if Zaorva is back...what this means? __________________________________________________________________________

"So, this was a plot to kidnap Kitty?" Rogue asked angrily. The Queen shakes her head as a mother would. "Of course not, all we want is our god back and she was with you all along, no one wants to kidnap or cause a problem with the X-men. Kitty is our god"

"This makes no sense. Kitty is not Zaorva." Cyclops shouts back and Kitty emerges with Venus. The red-haired woman is wearing a white dress as Kitty is using her uniform.

"Scott, good and bad news, I´m no host of any deity...I´m the deity" Kitty speaks with a bit of hesitation, Rogue would point out how is impossible when Kitty´s eyes go full azure and she created a small dragon.

"What is happening?" someone asked and Kitty is confused as the others.

__________________________________________________________________________

The X-men didn´t leave the planet, not until they figure it out what is happening. Rogue spot Kitty on the temple hovering on the air for a moment then is back to the ground. Kitty is looking at the images of the temple and is giving her back to Rogue.

"Hey, sugah, how are you?" Rogue asked.

"I feel so numb. You know, I think I never talk about my dreams...that´s because I´d not have one. When I close my eyes, all I see is Zaorva, Zaorva creating something, doing her craft, sometimes I ...meddle with her craft, and I know things I shouldn´t know" Kitty now looks at Rogue."But I never thought of myself as a god"

"Well, it happened with Jean and everyone thought she was anything but god, in fact, the word we use for Jean starts with a B" Rogue playfully adds and Kitty smiles at that. Her index finger point to one image in particular. "Rogue, since we´re talking, can you keep a secret?"

"At this point, I´ll believe anything" Rogue replied.

"This deity here is called Nyarlathotep, he´s the destroyer of anything...and, oh god, I can´t believe I´ll confess this, I always have a crush on anything that resembles him" Kitty confessed remembering the Hitcher Galaxy book, once you´re feeling down the best solution is to talk with a friend. "Any character in media who has tied with pharaohs or Ancient Egypt, wears tons and tons of masks or is a being of space that can manipulate civilization for fun...I used to have a crush"

Rogue also read the same book as Kitty and knows that judge a friend for a peculiar taste is not the right way, life is too short and everyone should experiment at least once.

"Well, I´d say, now I understand why you´re always watching the Thundercat" Rogue replied. Then, as the book instructed and is a wise book, she offers comfort to Kitty as she´s passing an odd ordeal. "Is he real?"

"IT, and yes, IT real name is something I learn from experience" she remembers the time she confesses IT´s the real name to Silver Surfer" no one can hear, so, I call him or Nyartortep or IT or Nyarty or You-know-who" Kitty crack a smile from the last one.

"Sugah, tell me you never had a crush on Voldemort"

"Ew no, I never like snakes"

_______________________________________________________________________________

IT finally finished destroying the civilization of Aguar and the planet itself it takes 5. millions of years(to IT time is relative) when his Herald informs about the space commotion.  IT is not pleased.

"Speak carefully, as I´m hungry and I can replace my Heralds" IT answers and the Herald gulps.

"A planet created by Mother" a safer codename for Zaorva " is affirming she´s back"

It´s is not pleased with all and is not above to destroy her old planet for such offence.

"She...knows your name" the Herald speaks and IT rolls his eyes, of course, everyone knows his name, but, the Herald continues "your real name" and now IT is intrigued. Is a fake, of course, but, how she knows IT´s name? ________________________________________________________________________

Kitty was given a fancy dress to wear, but, in her words "if I´m Zaorva, then I´ll wear whatever I want" and walks proudly as she refuses to mope, her own humanity was always questioned, so, there´s no reason to cry now.

Venus enters her chambers to inform about the feast. Kitty stops combing her hair, to give her full attention to Venus. "And we´ll give music to finish the banquet" her tone is saccharine and calm.

"Ok, this is after or before you go full Black Pharaoh on us?" Kitty asked and Venus stops smiling. "I know Venus is well, I can feel her..." Kitty narrowing her eyes for a moment "hitting on Rogue and Scott on the south part, in the forest as they are gathering fruits...thank you for not killing Venus, now, tell me, why are you here?"

"Why Am I here?" his voice is deep and the room changes into a hellish dimension, yet, it goes back to normal when Kitty speak his real name. The name was a gift Zaorva give to him. No one but Zaorva and IT can speak perfectly. "Is...is really you?"

"Yes, No, I don´t know. I´m now Kitty Pryde, ok?"

"I...ok, hello, Katzchen"

______________________________________________________________________________

The followers of Chtulu as the master would rise and kill the creation and reward his followers for being faithful to his word, yet, what should be a victory ended up in failure as when Zaorva´s crystal body shatters in the water, a new form rip Squidboy´s form entirely. The hand is human, aside from being huge and for killing Squidboy, but, it shares the same colour of Zaorva.

"Take that motherfucker" Kitty emerges above the water as the corpse of Chtulu is being confused by blue fire and now Squidboy is no more. His followers look at the scene and now Kitty will finish his cult for good.

[strawberry-milktea]

I don't want to socialize. I don't like it. I don't even want a huge group of friends--maybe a couple I feel comfortable with. I don't want a bf til I can be independent. I do want to move out and have my own space. And I want a fulfiling job. That is my dream. Specifically to write and fight injustice like terrorism, human trafficking, abuse (no idea how to do that). Never wanted to be conventional. Have a pet sitting "business" - always hard to talk to clients, rather be w animals. I have a ha

I have a hard time trusting God because I do not want to do things I don’t like. I want to do the things I want to do for a living; God wants me to do something social. Anyone who is not good at social things is less in the eyes of God and everyone else. I do NOT want to have such a shameful weakness- I mean, afraid of people? How stupid. But I would rather be alone and read, write etc most of the time. I like it better that being w ppl. But God wants us to love ppl and be w them all the time

I mean, you have to be good at social things to be successful, to have a job. If you aren’t, you have to make up for it in a LOT of skills of other kinds. Which I don’t have. I do not want a walmart job- but couldn’t even do that, much less what I want to do–something to do with national security etc. I

If God wants me to change and be social, then that IS where my value lies and I am not valuable like this.

Had internship after school but they fired me bc I was too nervous and couldn’t do the job. W public defender. Had to interview ppl in jail and ask them questions from a sheet. There was a math question on it. Could not figure it out. They gave me a book to learn it but I could not concentrate w ppl around. Math+social? Impossible. Same w vol this summer- messed up change bc customer talking to me. Don’t know what I actually have ability to do… :( cant be at parents forever.

I don’t want to be weak. I want to be strong. I want to use my strengths to glorify God. Ppl using their strengths in a job, their talents, will make both them and others happy bc it will simply be a better product. Who wants to read a book by a bad author, for example?

I have asked God for help. To get me a job. Make me do things. He did not help me.

—

Hi there,

Personally speaking, I’m not big on socializing. I’m the type of person who enjoys spending time with people who I am close with and trust.. and that’s only a handful of people. If I’m comfortable with you, I can keep talking for a long time and I genuinely enjoy it! But if I’m not comfortable with someone and/or it’s just surface small talk, it can start to feel like interacting becomes a chore or it can feel a bit awkward. I also get drained and anxious feeling pretty quickly in settings with large crowds. I’m an introvert and it sounds like you are too - and introversion is definitely not something inherently negative or wrong. But the concern here regarding your situation is it seems like your introversion is related to a lot of deep-seated fears (which if I recall correctly, are linked to past hurts) and it’s interfering with your life in a way that is making you unhappy. And it’s definitely clear that the enemy is preying on this by doing a number on your self-confidence and feeding you the lie that you aren’t valuable or loved by God if socializing is a challenge for you.

Your claim that “anyone who is not good at social things is less in the eyes of God and everyone else” is not Biblical. God’s love for us is proven by the fact that He died on the cross to make the free gift of salvation through faith in Christ possible. The Word also tells us that we become righteous in His eyes as a result of accepting Christ so that our sins are washed away and we become white as snow.

“For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” - 2 Corinthians 5:21

“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.” - Isaiah 1:18

There is no reason to believe that God loves you less or thinks of you as lesser because socializing is difficult for you. That’s a flat out lie from the enemy meant to attack your confidence and weaken your faith in God. You’re correct when you say God wants us to always love others. However, it is inaccurate to say God expects us to be around people all the time. One example that proves God does not expect this is that we are told to pray in private and spend time alone with the Father (Matthew 6:6). We are not commanded to be in the presence of others 24/7 nor is always being around people socializing a requirement to fulfill the command of to loving others.

Socializing does serve various purposes that can help both yourself and others, and glorify Him. One example of this is carrying out the Great Commission. Communicating with others is how we tell people about Christ. However, you don’t have to be the strong at verbally talking in order to socialize and communicate with others. He can use the areas you do have strengths in to serve others. And at the same time, He can help you get stronger at the areas of socializing you aren’t so strong at - but you have to allow Him to do that work in you. If you completely shut yourself off to the idea of doing things outside of your comfort zone, He won’t force His help upon you.

Using myself as an example, I am definitely stronger at articulating myself about matters of faith in writing versus verbally speaking. Sometimes I get nervous verbally speaking and the enemy likes to attack my confidence in these moments. I believe that He allowed for me to use this blog as a means of carrying out the Great Commission because a strength of mine lies in written communication. But at the same time, He’s put me in situations of verbally talking to people about faith to show me that even though communicating verbally isn’t my strongest area, He provides the perfect words and the nervousness melts away when you trust and allow Him to work in you.

Another example relating to your situation about work concerns is that when I first started working, I was terrified to answer the phones. I was so afraid of sounding silly and talking to a stranger on the other end of the line. However, I made peace with the fact that this is a big part of my job. And it certainly felt awkward at first because it was outside of my comfort zone. But when I kept doing it, it became something I do without a second thought - and it feels really nice when I think about how nervous I used to feel over it and how now it’s really not much of a big deal. I sometimes still get moments where fumble over my words a little because like I said, verbal communication isn’t one of my strongest areas. I don’t think I’ll ever feel as much ease handling work phone calls as I do when say talking to a family member or a friend. But that’s okay - I don’t need to be perfect at articulating myself or feel comfort as if the person on the other end of the line is my best friend in order to get my job done. Likewise, you don’t have to demand a level of perfection of yourself in socializing in order to be functional at the job that He wants for you.

What is so important to understand is that when you ask God for help, you have to be willing to accept that help. He won’t force you or make you do something.. you’ve admitted that you don’t want to do things that you don’t want to. So if you’ve made up your mind that you can’t socialize, it’s impossible for it to be any other way, and you won’t keep trying at it, He won’t make you do something differently. You have freewill.. and if you use your freewill to be stubborn and refuse for Him to work in you because you’re afraid and/or don’t want to do things outside of your comfort zone, He will respect that decision. You can’t accuse Him of not helping you when you are only willing to accept His help on your terms and not His. And by refusing the idea of any type of change or doing something that is potentially uncomfortable until you get used to it, you can block Him from working in you - not because He isn’t able to or doesn’t want to, but because He won’t force you to change or take a certain action. It’s unfair to believe He isn’t helping you if you’re expecting Him to make you do something, simply because He doesn’t make people do things. That would work against the freewill He has given us if He forced us to do things against our will.

I can’t know what God specifically wants for you in terms of the job meant for you.. I can offer my thoughts and advice based on what you tell me, but when it comes to what path He wants for you, I have no way of knowing that. That’s why it’s so important for you pray and seek His guidance with this, as this is something between you and Him. I think you also need to reach a point of accepting that there will be some degree of communication necessary, no matter what that job is. The degree of socializing in jobs will vary, but every job requires some sort of communication with others in order for tasks to he completed. Even people who are self-employed have to communicate with others at times. You of course aren’t required to be in a job where there’s a lot of socializing involved, but you will need to do it sometimes no matter what the job - your pet sitting business is an example of that. Even though you work with the pets most of the time, you still have to talk with the pets’ owners at times.

It’s not a shameful weakness to have a hard time communicating with people, and it’s not something impossible to get stronger with. It may be impossible to get past this by your own power, but it’s possible when you seek Christ and rely on Him for strength. The Word tells us all things are possible with Christ.

“But Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’” - Matthew 19:26

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” - Philippians 4:13

Try to tackle the fear and consider what is motivating your fear of socializing. Are you afraid of looking silly to others? Afraid of what they think of you? Ask yourself: what is the worst that can happen if you say stuttered or lost your train of thought when talking to someone out of nervousness? Chances are you are actually thinking worse of yourself than what the other person is thinking of you. Also, it’s important to remember when you accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, you seek His approval - you no longer need to be in the bondage of seeking approval of man:

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” - Galatians 1:10

That’s why it’s so important to adapt the mindset of, “Even if someone did decide to think I’m weird because I stumbled over my words or felt nervous talking to them.. so what? What they think of me ultimately doesn’t matter.” I’m definitely not saying this is a mindset that is easy to have or one that you adapt to overnight. It’s something I still struggle with at times, too. But when I find myself in those moments, I try to ask myself if I’m worrying about what others think or what He thinks, if my worrying over what others think will even ultimately matter in any way or is it just the enemy preying on my self-consciousness. With His help and continually drawing nearer to Him/strengthening your relationship with Him, you can overcome this fear. He can help you to lay down the fears and self-consciousness and have an easier time communicating. At first it may feel difficult and like something you don’t want to do, but growth often feels like something you don’t want to do in the moment. But after you get past the discomfort and see how He’s helped you to become stronger, you find yourself thankful that you listened to Him and didn’t remain stagnant in your comfort zone.

Most people tend to want to remain in their comfort zones because it’s what is familiar to them. Many times, even if on some level a desire for something to change is there, it just feels good to remain in what you know with certainty you can do with ease. I see that in your words - you desire more (the right job, a boyfriend, independence, etc), but at the same time you want to only achieve these things on your terms and are stubborn against going outside the comfort zone out of fear. And I really do get it - the unknown can be scary and nobody enjoys the idea of venturing into something new with the possibility of failing at it. But we can’t allow the fear of the unknown and the possibility of failing to hold us back. When we do, it’s how we become stagnant and never move forward. Fear can be paralyzing, stopping you from succeeding and doing what He wants you to do before you even try. You can’t allow past times you haven’t succeeded to hold you back.. that’s the enemy using those times to chip away at your trust in the Lord and your confidence. The enemy loves reminding you of the parts of your past that you want to forget and leave behind.

I remember you mentioning in past messages your concerns about living with your parents. If you are worried about that, talk openly about it with them. Tell them your worries about living there until you find the right job. Chances are, they aren’t bothered by you living there but instead, it’s your own fear causing you to feel self-conscious about it. Maybe they could also offer you support and guidance about your career concerns, too.

You have a Heavenly Father who loves you and wants to guide you in this. You also have brothers and sisters in Christ who love you and want to help in any way they can. The enemy will try to make you believe you’re facing this alone, but you aren’t.