#and that’s also funny coming from a guy who’s really into 90s grunge and pop punk but it’s different man. alright. BWAHAH peace an love

[werebutch]

I fucking hate sleeptoken 😭

[thoughtportal]

Emma Silvers May 23, 2018

Liz Phair is getting into character. She’s practicing her moves. She’s doing vocal exercises every night.

“You make these sounds for a really long time, like a monk, to try to get that lower register open,” she says, demonstrating a long, low hum. “Because my range has gotten way higher as I’ve gotten older.”

She’s calling from Los Angeles, a week after her 51st birthday. And the character for whom she’s in training is a 25-year-old version of Liz Phair, the one that released “Exile in Guyville” in 1993, the album that subsequently thrust her into the national spotlight — despite the fact that she had only played a handful of live shows.

“It was a disaster,” she recalls. “That’s not how you do it! I was already famous before I’d ever played live.”

But Phair needs to channel that person to properly perform that album, she says — which she plans to do for Bay Area fans Friday, June 1, at the Swedish American Hall in San Francisco, as she tours intimate venues in support of the 25th anniversary reissue of “Girly-Sound to Guyville” (Matador), a seven-LP or three-CD box set complete with essays, interviews and remastered rarities. (The first half of the title refers to early Phair demo tapes that were, before now, mostly message board fodder for die-hard fans. This tour marks the first time she’ll perform the tracks live.)

“Exile” was a revelation when it hit the radio in 1993: sensitive and blunt, angry and funny, honest about sex and the alienation of being a creative girl in a guy’s scene. Framed as a wry response to the Rolling Stones’ “Exile on Main Street,” it stood in stark contrast to the bro-dominated grunge acts of the era, and quickly landed on critics’ best-of-the-year lists. Meanwhile Phair, a Chicago native and recent Oberlin College grad who had written most of her songs in her bedroom at her parents’ house, became an indie darling overnight.

It was in that spotlight that Phair was taken to task for her lyrics, whose sexual frankness (“I want to be your blowjob queen,” from the sing-songy track “Flower,” was among the most-quoted) barely moves the needle by today’s pop music standards. But in the ’90s, says Phair, “You were still judged according to the Slut-O-Meter.”

“I wanted it to be so outrageous and over the top that you had to talk about whether I could say it or not,” says Phair, whose penchant for performance art comes across in early interviews. “I wanted men and I wanted to have sex. I had those feelings, and I had those thoughts, so it was really about what you were allowed to exhibit. What you’re given ownership over, even in the real estate of your own inner life.”

In the 25 years since “Exile,” Phair has released five full-length albums, some to acclaim, and some — like her 2003 self-titled foray into slicker, more radio-friendly pop — to critical derision and cries of “sellout.” She also dabbles in other art forms: after finishing a double album with Ryan Adams recently (release date still to be announced), she turned her attention to a different kind of writing, inking a two-book deal with Random House in 2017. A memoir called “Horror Stories” will be published first; the second, she says, is tentatively organized around the theme of fairy tales.

Regardless of her medium, Phair’s impact and influence have grown more obvious with each passing year, especially as younger generations of feminists discover her landmark debut.

“Dude, I was ahead of my time. What can I say?” she says with a laugh, when asked about how well “Exile” has aged.

It’s 2018, and Beyoncé, whose brand is seeped in sexuality, just gave the performance of her life at age 36 — the same age Phair was when a New York Times review of her self-titled record painted her as a desperate, over-the-hill soccer mom for daring to still be sexual. Does our cultural landscape have more room for women as three-dimensional beings than it did in 1993?

“I do think we’re much further along,” says Phair. “But especially in the last couple years, with the Trump administration, it’s also shocking and deeply disturbing to realize how much further there still is to go.”

Which has, in turn, lit a fire under Phair in other ways.

“I have felt a definite need to be present, vocal and accounted for, because I need to be as strong and loud as these voices that are so horrifying to me,” she says. “We all do. The America that I believe we live in just needs to turn up its volume.”

In the meantime, those who caught Phair live circa 1993 can expect a much more technically skilled performance of “Exile” songs than the last time around. That said, Phair’s biggest strength remains the same: “It’s a testament to people’s appreciation of songwriting,” that fans stuck with her 25 years ago, she says, as she learned to play shows in real time.

“But I think that’s what I do better than other people. I don’t sing better or play better, but I have a kind of authorship. A voice.”

Emma Silvers is a Bay Area freelance writer.

[cxhnow]

THE KIDS ARE MORE THAN ALRIGHT: CHLOE AND HALLE ARE KILLING IT

At only 21 and 20 years old respectively, Chloe and Halle, the sister singing duo signed to Beyoncé’s Parkwood Entertainment, have an almost preternatural poise and polish. You see it in on-camera interviews, their big smiles never breaking, or when they’re singing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl, their harmonies as sweeping and pristine as harmonies can be. Even in the homemade YouTube covers which made them Internet-famous as adolescents — a cover of Beyoncé’s “Pretty Hurts” (a song, interestingly enough, about the demands on young women to be flawless) caught the attention of Queen B and got them signed in 2015 in the first place — they have a peaceful and almost uncannily seasoned presence.

This seeming perfection has made them into major role models to young fans, and one of them into a future megastar fronting the massive Disney machine, as the younger Halle takes the lead role of Ariel in the live-action remake of The Little Mermaid expected out in 2021. They’ve had real world ambitions for the entirety of their teen years, starting their YouTube channel when Chloe was 13 and Halle 11, criss-crossing the country multiple times as the opening act for their mentor Bey, and dabbling in acting, with roles on Kenya Barris’ sitcom Grown-ish.

But beyond the sheen they’ve developed, it’s nice to hear, on a quarantine Zoom call one Friday morning, that they are more steadfastly committed — even dogged — about their craft than they are the presentation. They write, arrange, and produce much of their own music in their home studio in Los Angeles. While their sophomore album, Ungodly Hour, features guestwork by super-producers Scott Storch and Mike WiLL Made-It, the sisters executive produced the whole thing, and still brought unfinished collaborative tracks home from sessions to tighten them up in their own way, on their own computer software.

Though their debut, The Kids Are Alright — an unlikely but satisfying cross between SZA and Björk — hinted at this artistry, Ungodly Hour is the true breakthrough. It’s a grown-up album in a number of ways, with lyrics about hook-ups, break-ups, and mess-ups. But it’s also just undeniably and straightforwardly cool. In the choreography-heavy video for the excellent “Do It,” their astonishing maturity begins to look more like bravado. They mine sounds from late-’90s R&B, recalling forebears like Aaliyah, Destiny’s Child, TLC, and Blaque, but have come up with something refreshing and personal. There are no lags on Ungodly Hour, no saccharine ballads or misplaced attempts at massive over-the-top pop — just easily enjoyable bops with silky harmonies and relatable themes. That’s an achievement for an artist of any age.

In conversation, they are, yes, incredibly composed, but also engaged and interested in talking about a range of subjects, from 808s and Atlanta to politics and pain. Here, the two sisters offer a little glimpse into their lives — and how they got to be so on top of everything to begin with.

Note: This interview occurred after the death of George Floyd but before demonstrations surrounding the killing fully heated up across the country, and the sisters have since delayed the release of the album from the original June 5 to this Friday, June 12. At the bottom of this Q&A, we’ve included some questions and answers the two responded to by email this week concerning moving the release date and their solidarity with the protestors.

Have you been quarantining together?

Halle: We are quarantining together in Los Angeles. We’re in our family home, so it’s really nice to all be together.

Chloe: I think, you know, with any family being in close spaces, you all have to relearn each other. You can’t, like, escape and go to your own corner.

H: We’re learning more every single day in quarantine what not to do [laughs]. We know the trigger points for both of us. We both love to get our feelings out, so once we do that, I think it’s good.

Let’s get into the album: In the past, your music has had an innocence about it, but this album is pretty grown.

C: You know, with anything in life, we never like to force it. Halle just turned 20. I’ll be 22 in July. Naturally, the music will just grow with that. We’re sharing our experiences, sharing what we’re going through, whether it’s heartbreak or falling in love or our insecurities — what makes us tick. People only really know us as, like, little sweet angels and all of that. And everyone is multi-layered.

“Busy Boy” is about a guy who sleeps around and sends you unsolicited late night photos of, well, a very particular body part of his. Are lines like this born from real life?

H: Absolutely. All the songs on the album are pulled from real-life experiences, real-life relationships. And for “Busy Boy,” everyone can relate to knowing this guy who is just so hot, he is just A+ everywhere. But everyone knows him as a player. They know he jumps around from girl to girl. It was funny to talk about that because in our little girl group [of friends], sometimes we do find that one dude who has tried to talk to all of us. And we laugh about it and we kiki about it.

Are you able to find time to date and have fun, and do what young people do?

H: Of course!

C: You know, we explore. We date around. We’re learning as we experience life. And it helps stimulate the lyrics.

There’s a lot of tense back and forth between the sexes on the album, and I wonder if you thought of it as a kind of break-up album.

C: It’s that back and forth because that’s how it was in our lives at the time when we were creating this album. You know, my sister and I, we’re at that age where you’re learning yourself through relationships, learning how people work. Even though Halle and I are a year and a half apart, we were going through the same thing at the same time when we were writing. We were heartbroken and putting that into the music. But we also wanted to come from a point where we don’t have to be these weak girls crying over it, but instead take our power back.

H: Love is a huge theme of the album. But also feeling alone, and the rawness. These were all themes that we hadn’t really talked about before in music. Our deepest, deepest feelings. The title, Ungodly Hour, stemmed from everything that happens during those hours, you know, in the middle of the night when you’re about to go to sleep. You’re thinking of all your insecurities — your mind is swimming. You’re thinking of lustful things, you’re thinking of heartbreak.

C: It feels conversational because when we were writing it, we were simply having a conversation. My sister and I tell each other everything when it comes to these things. And as we’re sitting down, explaining, “I’m pissed because of this,” or, “I’m happy because of this,” we would just write it into the music.

You worked with the 2000s producer Scott Storch on “Do It,” and there’s almost a nostalgic feel for that time in R&B and pop.

C: He’s really a legend, and just seeing him on the keys when we had multiple sessions together, we were always left in awe. Production-wise, I’ve always been inspired by experimental sounds and the weirder side of music. But while we were making this album, I really started falling more and more in love with ’90s music and early 2000s production; listening to a lot of Kelis. We wanted this album to feel fun and flirty, but also grunge, in a way, and a little dark and mysterious and sexy. And I really feel like ’90s production with beautiful melodies on top truly embodied that. [‘90s producers] weren’t afraid to experiment.

How do you balance creative freedom and experimentation with what I imagine to be a lot of pressure to make a hit?

H: We were feeling a little bit, like, “So where do we go from here? What do we do now?” We were a little bit stuck at the beginning, because we were hearing from the label about doing songs a bit more commercial. Whenever we are given direction, it always throws us off. Whenever somebody tells us what to do, we don’t like it. At the beginning, we were making songs that didn’t really sound like us. And we realized we were trying to please everyone else.

So then we were like, You know what? Scratch that. Let’s go back to the beginning. Let’s remember why we’re doing this. Let’s make the sounds that make us happy. Let’s go back to doing those experimental things that have made us so happy all the time. With these sessions with [Ariana Grande songwriter] Victoria [Monet] and Scott [Scorch], we can also add a bop or two in there and find a beautiful way to do it without sacrificing our musical integrity. We never want to feel like we’re selling out.

You taught yourselves how to produce, arrange, write, and record your music at a very young age, but now that there is this bigger spotlight, is it important to still create in that more organic way?

C: Absolutely. Yeah. If we didn’t keep that, I don’t think we would even have finished this album. We love creating at home so much. You know, [our first album] The Kids Are Alright, we created the whole thing in our living room. [For this album], we converted the garage and carpeted it up and made it into our little studio here. We always prefer home and working on our laptop and arranging all the weird harmonies together and recording each other.

We worked with so many amazing producers and songwriters on this album, but at the end of every session, we would take the stems, and we would revamp them up and really add, like, our sauce to the songs afterward so it really felt like us. But also, half the album is strictly just us and our production and writing as well. We executive produced it. That’s the only way to do it. If it starts to feel forced or bad, we walk away.

What programs do you use to produce on your laptop?

C: I’m a huge Logic Pro girl. When we do live shows, I use Ableton, but when we’re recording each other and I’m making the tracks, it’s all on Logic.

You’re known for your harmonies, and you also produce all your own vocals. How do you think about the resonance and affect and power of your voices? What are you aiming for with a vocal?

H: There’s something really special about singing with your sibling, or singing with somebody who has the same blood as you. The Clark Sisters are one of our favorites, and every time we listen to their harmonies, it just takes us to another world. And I don’t know what it is, but every time I sing with my sister, I do feel like it’s a power, like it’s something special that’s happening when the two of us are singing together. It’s different than when I’m just singing alone.

C: We know how to fit and blend with each other. Usually I’ll take like more of the lower notes, and Halle will take a lot more of the higher ones. For me, ever since I was a little girl, I loved Destiny’s Child and Toni Braxton and Nina Simone. Our family would always play Erykah Badu and Jill Scott around the house. So I have grown up loving soulful tones. As I got older, being a female producer, I was really inspired by other female producers, like Grimes and Imogen Heap and Merrill Garbus of Tune-Yards, and I really started appreciating and loving alternative music, where they use different experimental sounds. More recently, I was listening to a lot of Kelis and Missy [Elliott] and Timbaland production, and Aaliyah and all of that. All of my inspirations… I love how it’s in contrast with my sister. Because, you know — and she’ll tell you this — she is a huge jazzhead. She loves jazz melodies. And when the two worlds come together, it kind of creates us.

You mentioned Erykah Badu and Jill Scott as influences, so I gotta ask — what’d you think of the Erykah and Jill Verzuz on Instagram?

H: We loved it so much. We put it on our TV and watched the whole thing.

Who do you think won?

H: They both won. You know, you could sing those songs every single day and never get tired of them. We want our music to live on like those songs live on.

You both have childhood roots in Atlanta, which has become essentially the musical epicenter of America in the last 20 years. Does that influence your sound?

C: Oh my gosh, yeah. Atlanta music is so incredible. We’ve always been so inspired by OutKast. Ciara. Donald Glover.

H: Janelle Monáe.

C: It’s so much soul and rhythm and bounce. And I think that’s why I love big drums and 808 so much. We are true Atlanta girls at heart. And I think that also comes into why we’re really kind. It’s just southern hospitality.

You’re signed to Beyoncé’s management company, Parkwood, and I’m curious what kind of creative notes or advice she gives you when you’re working on an album.

C: She allows us to grow and flourish on our own. And, you know, as we’ve been finding our sound through the past five years, she’s just kind of sat back in the wings and let us do what we want to do. When we feel like we got the music to a special place, we always want her input. It’s Beyoncé! She has the experience, she’s incredibly talented, and she has such good instincts.

With her notes, a lot of the time, we’re on the same page. Whether it’s about what she hears in the layers of the production, if she thinks the production should change on one part, or how we sang a certain word or something, she’ll always recommend, but it’s up to us whether we want to do it or not. She allows us to do what we want to do, musically.

When we sent this album to her, she didn’t have any notes. Halle and I were like, whoa. She must really, really like it. And she could give us as many notes as she wants! She’s Queen Bey.

Halle, you’re about to be Ariel in the live-action version of ‘The Little Mermaid’ for Disney. What is it like wearing the mermaid tail?

H: [Laughs] Well, I can’t really .. [laughs] … that was a good try [laughs]. I can’t really tell you about that [ed. note: Disney is notorious for strictly enforcing a code of silence about a future production]. But it’s really cool being able to play one of my favorite characters from my favorite Disney movie. And show other little black girls that, yes, you can be Ariel too. That the part is not just for anyone who does not look like us. We can do it too.

There was a really dumb conservative backlash when Disney announced it was casting a black woman in the role.

H: Yeah, well, I don’t really pay attention to that stuff. People are hurting right now, so a lot of the times people take their hurt out on you. And you can’t do anything about that. We just gotta move forward in love and light and say a prayer for them, you know?

On one very serious note, you posted a cover on Instagram that blended the hymnals “We Shall Overcome” and “Lift Every Voice and Sing” as a tribute to George Floyd. I’m wondering how you’re viewing what’s happening in America right now?

H: [That] week was very difficult for us. Just that video of George — I couldn’t watch it. This keeps happening to our people. When I see George, I think of my father, and I think of my little brother, and I think of them just wanting to live and to not be killed just for living their lives. I don’t think we will ever understand why it keeps happening. I don’t think we could ever wrap our heads around it.

So we just thought, What can we do? What can we do to make ourselves feel better? What can we do to make everyone feel better? And we decided to sing those two songs that have been sung for many, many years. It made us feel a little better, but it didn’t take it all away. It’s crazy that this keeps repeating itself. [That] whole week was kind of wonky for us.

When I see you two on camera and in interviews, I’m struck by how poised you both are, from such a young age. You present yourself almost perfectly. But I wonder if that ever feels like pressure? You’ve had to be really mature since before most kids ever really do.

H: It’s not a persona. It’s not something that we turn on and we turn off. It’s just the way that our parents raised us. Sometimes, we do get compliments, like, “Oh my gosh. You guys are always so happy and positive. You guys are angels!” And, you know, that’s one side of it, of course. I know some people put us on a pedestal. And I think that what hones us in on continuing to just be positive beings and lights is the way we grew up, our parents constantly reminding us that all of these things don’t matter. All of these grand things don’t matter.

But there’s also the other layers of us that people don’t see when we’re not in the spotlight. We do overthink. We do have insecurities just like everybody else. And that’s what with this album in particular we wanted people to get through their heads. Like, hello, we are just like you. At times, yes, it does get overwhelming. But that’s just a part of life. And that’s more fuel for inspiration for us to write.

As previously noted, the original interview occurred before demonstrations surrounding the killing of George Floyd reached full steam. Here, the two sisters followed up by email more recently in a joint statement to address changing the release date of the album in light of the uprising and how they are participating in protest.

Originally you were meant to release the album on June 5, but now it is coming out this Friday, June 12. How’d you come to that decision?

These past two weeks have definitely felt like an emergency call to justice that is much needed. It was important for us to push our album and bring awareness to everything else that’s been going on. We didn’t want this moment to be about us, but rather about getting justice for our brothers and sisters and making a change.

What are you feeling in heart and mind about what we’re witnessing?

Honestly, it has been very, very difficult for us this past week. Having to witness someone’s life being taken away just because of the color of their skin is just traumatic. Even though these days have been hard, we are thankful that people are now seeing what has been happening for a while. And we are grateful that the world is finally doing something about it! Seeing these protests happening all around the country and world truly makes us hopeful that a change is coming. We are so much stronger than we think and so powerful when we come together.

It’s your generation that’s in no small part fueling this movement — how does it make you feel to see people in your age group activated in this way?

It makes us so proud to see our peers standing up for what’s right. We are the future and deserve to be in a world that protects us, rather than harm us. We deserve to live a life not in fear.

How are you two approaching contributing to the protests — what do you find effective?

We are doing everything we can to speak up for what’s right: signing and posting petitions online, donating, etc. We will not let anyone silence us. We have also been singing a lot more, trying to use our voices as healing for the world right now. Music always tends to be the best therapy.

Where are you turning for information, solace, discussion, leadership, and creativity in a moment like this?

Social media has definitely been one of our main sources. We’ve been seeing and sharing content from our peers who are actually out there protesting on the frontlines and experiencing firsthand. We can now view videos and photos and form our own opinions, instead of being swayed by mainstream media. There’s a lot of stuff that’s not being shown on the news, that we may find on Twitter or Instagram. Because of social media and technology, more light is finally being shed on the injustices being done to our people. It’s helping change our world for the better!

Though it’s an invigorating moment in a lot of ways, it’s also a difficult one, and I’ve been hearing from people that they’re excited to be protesting but also feeling anxious and not sleeping well. How do you keep your mental and physical health up while staying activated around the movement?

As much as it’s our main source of information, we also take frequent breaks from social media. We will delete the various apps from our phones and almost block out the world, in a way. And when we really begin to feel hopeless, prayer and mediation has been so beneficial during these times. As well as working out, to clear our heads and let out any built-up frustration.

Do you have recommendations for your young fans of readings, songs, or movies that they can watch to further educate themselves on racial justice?

The movie American Son shows firsthand what it feels like for a mother to lose her son to police brutality. The book The Water Dancer reminds us of how our ancestors overcame slavery and found freedom through the pain. And even though Marvin Gaye’s What’s Going On album was released in the 1970s, it’s still so relevant to what’s going on now in the year 2020.

[Photos were retouched by High Snobiety to make the girls appear lighter. I have included two of the original versions where they are unretouched.]

[levelstory]

Music Reflection I, The Cringe is Real

The other day, my mother made a comment to me that there really is no sense that can bring back memories quite like your sense of smell. I agreed with her, but commented that sound and music may be tied for that ranking. Smell certainly brings me back to certain moments of my life, in ways I can't always explain to myself. But music brings back memories in a different kind of way. Songs are attached to specific thoughts and actions, to who I was at the time of listening. 

I thought it could be fun to revisit some of these songs from the past and talk about my feelings toward them, then and now. I imagine this will be a series of blogs so you can always look forward to more...

No Strings Attached by NSYNC

One of the most loaded questions you could ask a nine year old girl in the '90s was: do you prefer the Backstreet Boys or NSYNC? I was a hardcore Backstreet Boys listener. I owned all of their albums (except Millenium which was a damn shame) and listened to them rigorously, practicing for dance recitals next to "Quit Playing Games with My Heart" and making up dance moves to "As Long as You Love Me" and "Get Down." When my brother received the Chapter One album for his birthday, our home videos show my face sink into a pit of jealousy that he got the album instead of me. We even had Backstreet Boy action figures from Burger King which I am sure can be found somewhere in our basement to this very day, as well as a poster that had a button that when pressed would play a clip from "Don't Want You Back." 

I had an intense loyalty toward them, for reasons that are very unclear to me as I never outright disliked NSYNC's music. I heard them enough at the skating rink and at birthday parties. For some reason, all I can remember is disliking their look compared to BSB. Both groups were distinct in this regard, and I very much clung to the group I had spent most of my elementary career listening to on repeat.

One of the cool toys in the late '90s, early 2000s was called HitClips, little cartridges that would play 30 second clips of songs from popular artists like Britney Spears, Hanson, and of course BSB and NSYNC. I remember a girl in my fifth grade class bringing her hit clips in and being nice enough to let me borrow them and bring them home. Of course some of them were NSYNC and I remember replaying "Bye Bye Bye" and "It's Gonna Be Me" over and over, aching to listen to the full tracks. Shortly after returning them, I imagine I got my mom to take me to Target (which was my go to music store at the time) and used my allowance money to purchase the NSYNC album, No Strings Attached.

There are so many memories I attach to listening to this album. I had just gotten my very first desk for my bedroom and I remember my boom box sitting at the back of the desk where I would pop in CD's and cassette tapes. This was also around the time my room was painted from plain white to a soft pink. One of my best friends at the time also owned this album. Her father owned a camper that sat in their driveway, and we would sit inside with her stereo and listen to music while we pretended to be camping far away from our suburban reality.

"No Strings Attached," the titular song in which the album was named, was not always a favorite of mine. At first it was the well known tracks that held my interest before I gave the rest of the album a chance. Songs like "Space Cowboy," "Digital Get Down," and "That's When I'll Stop Loving You" were tracks I came to love later, along with "No Strings Attached." The song is one that so easily gets stuck in my head (along with "Just Got Paid"). Once I hear it, I can't unhear it for some hours and I find myself humming it throughout the day. More than anything, this track in particular seems to be the most nostalgic. Whereas songs like "Bye Bye Bye" and "This I Promise You" I have returned to regularly throughout my life, "No Strings Attached" is one that I love all the more because it isn't one I necessarily return to all that often, and in that way it feels rare and distant, and therefore nostalgic.

Listening to this track with the modern ear does not do it any favors. Sure it sounds good, if not a bit chaotic like much of this album, but the lyrics lean toward the "nice guy" narrative which I am so over in 2019. I appreciate it from a distant, but can't say it has aged particularly well. NSYNC sing to this supposed lady that they want to have a relationship with her, with no preconceived expectations, or no strings attached, unlike the guy she is currently with who doesn't pay her any attention or return her calls. It all feels very '90s...and if I am being honest, returning to the '90s is one of the main reasons I return to these tracks. While I can't give it too much credit, I won't deny that it is a banger to listen to and enjoy. No Strings Attached remains one of my favorite albums from the ‘90s.

Why Not? by Hilary Duff

As a teen, I never really got on the Hilary Duff / Lizzie McGuire train. For reasons that are way too dense and difficult to unpack here, I really disliked the live action Disney "sitcoms" as a kid. Many of my friends watched and enjoyed them, while I hated them. So when the Lizzie McGuire movie came out to theaters, it was the last thing I wanted to see. Yet I did end up seeing it...at least, I feel like I saw it in theaters. I don't remember who convinced me to see it or why I gave in to my dislike, but I did see it. I also remember being at a friends house and she wanted to watch the DVD while I adamantly didn't and it caused a bit of a rift between us for a few hours. We got over it of course, and to go into all of that would be another tangent so I shall move ahead.

My friend who loved the show bought the movie soundtrack and we listened to it constantly. I remember sleeping over her house and making up dances, jumping on the bed, and running around like crazy kids with a ton of energy tend to do. "Why Not?" was my favorite song from the Lizzie McGuire soundtrack. I remember I loved Hilary Duff's voice, and was convinced that my own voice was almost identical to hers. I have a distinct memory of sitting at my bedroom window and singing her music to myself, carefully measuring my voice and making sure I sang just like she would.

This song was heavily marketed upon the release of the Lizzie McGuire movie. The music video was on TV all the time. In many ways it fit very well with the film's core themes - why not take chances? Why not do the thing you are most afraid of? If you don't take the chance, you may never have the opportunity to do so again. The lyrics are a mixed bag. One line that I never grow tired of is, "you always dress in yellow, when you want to dress in gold, instead of listening to your heart, you do just what you're told." It is certainly not a lyric that contains much depth and I assure you it isn't the message of the lyrics that have always captured me, but rather how they bounce and flow and how effortlessly Duff approaches them. It is a portion of the song that I always enjoy. 

The bridge, like most pop songs, is tragically boring. I enjoy Duff's humming (is that the word for what she does immediately after the bridge? What would you even call that?) but then the lyrics move toward the point where the song writers must have been on a time crunch saying, "You'll never get to heaven, or even to LA, if you don't believe there's a way." This lyric caught me off guard recently because I never really thought about it before but I just find it funny that the song talks about going to heaven, something that contains so much religious meaning and cultural significance, and then immediately puts going to LA on the same scale. Like, you'll never escape eternal damnation if you don't take chances, but you might also not make it to LA where you could become famous...yes, those are equally important. Sure I knew the song was generic, but my god it just drops into the absurd and pitiful by the bridge. 

Despite this, I still really enjoy the song. It isn't perfect but it speaks to a particular time of my life and I enjoy the memories associated with it. 

I'm With You by Avril Lavigne

Avril Lavigne's album "Let Go" was a big deal when it came out. It has a distinct place in my memory, coming out the year I moved into a new house, went to a new school, and started entering my teenage years. This was a time when burning CD's was still considered legal and so I never actually owned the album. My cousins burned the album on a CD for me, and I made a cover in Microsoft Word compiled of the album name made in Word Art and pixelated images of Lavigne scattered about. At the time, I thought my album cover looked really cool. 

"Let Go" was released around the same time Lizzie McGuire was on the rise, but unlike Hilary Duff and the Disney Channel, Lavigne made us 12 year olds feel like we were listening to adult music. Listening to this album felt hardcore at the time. It was low key grunge music, with themes and ideas far more sanitized than we knew.

I can remember a friend I made at my new school and going to her house where we listened to Avril Lavigne, rocking out to "Sk8ter Boi" and playing air guitar along with "Complicated." But "I'm With You" took on a much darker tone than either of these songs, and used a word that was off limits, "damn." There is a home video we have, which I believed I tried to tape over and remove from existence in case of blackmail, where I filmed myself singing the song and every time Lavigne belts, "It's a damn cold night!", I would fall silent at the "damn" and not say anything at all, for fear of being heard by my parents.

I can't say Lavigne's album has aged all too well. It isn't horrible but it is also nowhere near as good as we believed. Full of angst and "edgy" guitar, it definitely remains a product of its time. What is strange is that Lavigne's album is not one I have felt the need to return to much as I have grown older. The strongest memory with the album is listening to it in the car on my portable CD player on the way to North Carolina in the summer. Apart from that, my memory usually paints in broad strokes and just remembers the album being super popular when I was a sixth grader. All of the girls my age loved it, as did I, and my friends performed "Sk8ter Boi" at a lip sync competition. 

"I'm With You" stands out for its slow pace when compared to all of the other tracks. "Losing Grip" is sharp and industrial sounding, "Complicated" is the soft rock track that fits perfectly on the radio, "Sk8ter Boi" is the song to rock out to, and "My World," my personal favorite as a kid, is a fun guitar jam. But "I'm With You" isn't fun. It really showcases Lavigne's vocal range as well as her vulnerability as a songwriter. It builds up slowly and concludes with a strong crescendo of instrumentation. Okay, that might be overstating things just a tad. But there is something about this song that always gets me and I know that is the nostalgia talking. 

Lucky by Britney Spears

I have something to admit...I never owned a Britney Spears album. How can I call myself a real '90s kid if I didn't own a Britney Spears album? It is embarrassing. There were plenty of her songs I loved, but I guess I got by with her song "Sometimes" being on the compilation record, Now 3, which I listened to quite frequently. 

When "Lucky" was released, I really loved it. It was one of those songs that I loved so desperately that I am surprised I never got around to asking my parents for the album it was on. Luckily, a friend of mine owned said album and brought it over for my 10th birthday party. I imagine we listened to the album a lot that night, but all I can really remember is me dancing to "Lucky" on my screen porch while my friends watched, giggling. In fact, we have video evidence of this and it doesn't embarrass me...well, it embarrasses me a little. The video is somewhat cringy in that I am not a good dancer, but I make up for it with silliness for sure. 

"Lucky" tells the story of a celebrity who isn't happy. It comes off as very Marilynne Monroe; you expect this person to have it all but actually they don't and it makes them very sad. It isn't a very complicated song (though I guess none of the songs I am writing about are complicated). The storytelling is straightforward and easy to grasp. 

It is expected for listeners to wonder if the song is autobiographical and if Britney really was unhappy in her current predicament. Hindsight certainly reveals that this was most likely the case in some regard. Seeing where she is now and where her career has gone doesn't bode well for this song which makes me much more sympathetic toward her as a human being. If this was the case, listening to the track makes you sad. Still, if you can look past the blatant message, it is a track that remains catchy though I don't find I love it as much as an adult. The song just doesn't sound as catchy anymore, and it only makes me feel sad for Spears. 

All for Love by Stevie Brock

This track is easily the most obscure of the bunch. Stevie Brock never acquired the same celebrity as the other artists on this list. However, he did enjoy a few good years of teenie bopper fame and air time on Radio Disney. He was one of the many Aaron Carter wannabes that arrived on the music scene. This isn't to say he didn't have talent. His still immature voice was catchy enough and he was clearly a great performer. But like many child artists, his record was generic and…well, bad. Very bad. 

One huge trend of the '90s and early 2000s was this weird thing where young boys on the verge of becoming teens would sing songs about getting the girl and dating and complex romantic topics that made little sense to a teenager. The result is that the songs are super hetero-normative and a bit creepy. I am sitting in the car, reliving my childhood memories by listening to this song, and I can't help but think, "is it weird that I, a 29 year old woman, am listening to a 13 year old, whose voice still hasn't matured, sing about his 'romantic troubles' with a girl in his class who clearly doesn't want to date him but he wants it so it is okay that he keeps pursuing her?". Yes, it is a little weird. 

What is really weird to me is that I remember this song as if it came out way before it actually did. The album didn't properly release until summer of 2003 and I seem to recall listening the year previous. This could be because when I bought the album I was 12 going on 13 and thus I associate it more with being 12 than a 13 year old middle-schooler. But it would make sense. After all, the whole reason I even heard of Stevie Brock was because when on vacation in 2003 in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, my family ate at the Hard Rock Cafe and on the big screen where they played music videos, Brock's cover of "All for Love" came on the screen. I've always been the type of person who loves music so when I hear a song I enjoy, I have to write it down so that I can listen to it when I would get home. These days we have apps that allow us to listen to songs and tell us what they are called. But back then when music wasn't as readily available and I was a child who didn't really have enough money to buy things at the ready, this act was more of a scavenger hunt than anything else. Would I be able to find this guy's album when I got home? What if it wasn't at Target? What would I do then? 

Fortunately, Brock captured a strong, if not temporary, following and his album was on store shelves. "All for Love" is a fine song, mostly due to it being a cover from another band. As already addressed, the lyrics feel very odd coming from someone so young. He addresses the girl he is singing to as "sugar" which just makes me skin curl. It is creepy that the music industry breeds young boys to sing about these things so early. This was easily my favorite song from the album. My strongest memories of the song, besides first hearing it at the Hard Rock Cafe, are listening to it and the entire album at my friends house. We had a fun tradition of bringing her boombox outside and dancing around the front lawn. I remember her birthday party and us tween girls dancing through the summer air, our bare feet wet from the moist grass. I'm sure the neighbors had fun watching us act like total maniacs. 

Revisiting these songs was fun, but I know there are more I want to talk about in the future! Stay tuned! What are some songs you listened to as a kid that make you feel super nostalgic today? Let me know in the comments!

[weneverlearn]

If you’ve ever skimmed my lil’ blog here, it’s probably not a surprise that my formative musical-creating years were during the rise of the so-dubbed Generation X era. And while I was first weened in the waning days of Brit synth-pop and hardcore’s initial thrust, my own band drove the van through the days of “alternative rock.” 

That term of course was laughable, as most of what was called that was simply, you know, rock. Guitars, bass, drums, vocals. And lame rock, at that. And by the time people like my mom would have some concept of what that term meant, “alternative rock” -- like, say, Gin Blossoms or Deep Blue Something -- were cleaner and more approachable than even Poison from just a few years earlier. Nothing alternative about it. No more edgy than Bread or Ambrosia from the AM Gold days.

But I know a genre topper when I hear it. 

Howlin’ Maggie leader, Happy Chichester, started out as the excellent and funny bassist for Royal Crescent Mob, Columbus’ early entry into the post-Red Hot Chili Peppers white-boy funk rock sweeps of the latter ‘80s. The gateway drug local band for many an Ohio State Student, they were a few notches above that quickly cheesed-out genre. They put on a great show, landed on some good labels, garnered a good regional following, and basically were all super nice dudes. I remember Craig Regala -- major domo of Columbus early entry into the ‘90s underground garage punk 7″ label sweeps, Datapanik Records -- told me very early on that I was the best frontman Columbus had produced, after Royal Crescent Mob’s David Ellison. Today, one would wonder how either band existed in the same scene, but that was what was so great about that fleeting, still mostly undocumented era, when sputtering hardcore flailed around looking for and spewing out ideas of what the hell is next...

Once RC Mob (as we called them) flamed out, Chichester eventually started his own band, Howlin’ Maggie. They took a soft right onto RC Mob’s popiest roads, while retaining enough funk to turn them into a successful regional act. The campus, hacky sack-playing, funk rock thing really paid the bills circa 1993-98. And while it goes without saying that shit is most definitely NOT my thing, Howlin’ Maggie leaned more pop and put on a fun show.

They landed on Columbia Records in 1996 for their solid debut album, Honeysuckle Strange; played on Letterman, got on some big festivals, and the ever-nice Chichester utilized his considerable talents and connections to land some great opening slots, while becoming a go-to session player. The guy can make his way around just about any instrument and hit loads of notes with his malleable vox. 

Which also explains why Holwin’ Maggie didn’t release another album until the indie release, Hyde (PopFlu Music) in 2002, where “Love Is All Around Us” comes from. Chichester was busy as heck playing on others’ albums and tours (not the least of which as a jack-of-all instruments for Afghan Whigs), while fitting in working tours with Howlin’ Maggie -- who remained popular in Columbus. I’m guessing he was holding out hope too, that the increasingly dwindling dollars of the alt-rock heydays would offer a few crumbs for another major label advance. That green door slammed shut around 1998. 

So by the time the Hyde CD slid across the editorial desk at Columbus Alive for me to review that year, it could not help but feel late to the party. Fact is, the album is a solid slice of alternative rock that, on day of release, was an instant shouldabeen, or really couldabeen had it been 1996 instead of 2002. In songwriting, performance, and production, it’s more satisfying than all the Semisonics and Third Eye Blinds in the SPIN orbit. And yes, I realize that might sound like very, very faint praise. But when the earmarks of “alternative rock” were hit energetically well -- think mid-period R.E.M., Sugar, hell, even that one New Radicals album -- candy-coated and earnestly scrubbed grunge-pop was an appealing pop moment.

And “Love Is All Around Us” might’ve been an apex. It’s all there: the gleaming jangle riff, loud/quiet dynamics, the hopeful lyrics, and an instantly singalong-able chorus (with handclaps even!). But as it builds, it’s the song’s second half that does a few octave jumps, and adds incrementally louder and busier smiling and screaming backup vocals that draw from the Husker Du well of Midwest desperation-turned-defiance. Then a repeated ringing one-chord that carries the song far up into a 1990s sun, full of a charming President, AIDS activism, Top 10 bands dropping ‘70s punk acts in interviews, hip hop in it’s creative flowering, the record industry tossing advances to small bands, and Claire Danes as a sex symbol. As Chichester sings in here, “Anything is possible.” Or was. With this very 1996 song coming out after 9/11, well, all the joy that Happy Chichester could convey with his miles-wide smile couldn’t beat that.

I’m guessing the album sold okay, and gave another slab for Howlin’ Maggie to sell on the road, as they started up a bit again around that time. Chichester has since continued on as a solo act, some Howlin’ Maggie action, and in-demand musician, all while battling Bell’s Palsy since 2012.

Whenever it strikes me to dial this song up on YouTube, it has a way of transporting me to High Street in 1996 -- the same thought when I first heard it in 2002 -- that carries a nostalgia and a twinge of missed chances, but good times nonetheless, that all great pop can quell. 

I’ve returned to such songs of late (below) for personal reasons, songs that ring with a life-affirming uplift, but can’t and probably shouldn’t, completely hide the sad center that fuels great pop songs, always reaching for another sunrise. 

[vengefulblue]

trans girl chloe murphy

her name's chloe, her parents were Those Parents with the cutesy matching name's picked out and she found it written in a box of her baby things when she was 5 and it just /fit/, y'know? (zoe would have been zander, so she /really/ dodged a bullet there)

the baseball glove was a gift from santa when she was 6, and that's how she figured out santa wasn't real. chloe wrote one letter and gave it to her parents cuz she had to, but she sent another one secretly with her real list (nail polishes and "shimmery lip stuff", just like zoe wanted) and she asked santa to please write her real name on the gift because then mommy and daddy had to know she was really a girl, right? but instead, she got a baseball glove, and she told zoe later and they both cried. and when zoe told their parents "santa's not real", chloe got in trouble. (but zoe shared her nail polishes and shimmer lip balm, because sisters have to stick together)

chloe's so close to zoe's age that people thought they were fraternal twins when they were little, and they kind of believed it sometimes? obv they figured out that zoe's younger, but up til middle school they still just go with it. it's only when everything starts getting really bad that chloe really thinks of zoe as her "little sister", cuz she sees zoe as like, pure compared to herself, the monster child.

even when shit's bad between them, if they're alone, zoe calls her "chlo" and "sister" and all that. (even if it's usually some variation of "goddammit chlo, you are literally the worst sister ever, i hate you!")

sometimes chloe wishes zoe would slip up in front of someone else, just so she wouldn't be the only person who knows. she's resigned herself to the fact that she's never coming out, never transitioning, none of it. as soon as the Printer Incident happened and suddenly everyone knew her as "connor murphy, the psycho", she knew she'd never do it herself.

she's always known she likes boys, and for about a month in sixth grade, she wondered if she was just a gay guy. but then a boy kissed her and asked if she'd be his "boyfriend" and she just. no. definitely not a guy. but she lets people assume she's a gay guy bc it's just easier that way. (chloe's actually bi, but she mostly likes boys. zoe laughs when she finds out and says they really are opposite twins, since zoe mostly likes girls.)

the opposite twins thing is kind of a running joke, but also pretty true. zoe's hair it's a little lighter, but she's not as pale. chloe's hair is a little darker, but her skin is lighter. their hair parts are both slightly off center, but on opposite sides. zoe is right handed, chloe is left handed. zoe is more girly, likes bright colors and pop music. chloe likes more plain clothes, dark colors, and she secretly loves 90s girl grunge. (even if she were out, she'd dress p much the same, just with some purple instead of all black and grey, and dark makeup.)

chloe loves her sister more than anything, but she also kind of hates her. zoe is cis, and pretty, and kind of popular. guys like her, she gets good grades, she's the perfect daughter. and chloe is... not. she's just the fucked up crazy kid, a million feet tall, with literally no friends. she's failing almost every class and she's awful to her parents. even evan hansen likes zoe, and it's not surprising it's just disappointing. it's just unfair. the one guy chloe maybe likes and could imagine might be not horrible to hang out with, is in love with zoe. because of course he is. who wouldn't be?

when chloe's gone, zoe is completely broken. everyone's expecting her to mourn her brother, and she's the only one who knows she never had a brother to begin with. she knows right away that evan's emails are fake, because no real best friend would ever write "dear connor murphy..." zoe knows she was probably chloe's best friend, and she feels fucking awful because the last year or so was non-stop fighting. she knew chloe need help, that she had issues, and zoe didn't fight for her. chloe always stood up for her, got in a few literal physical fights for her, and zoe couldn't even tell her parents that chloe needed help, therapy, medication, /anything/. so zoe's pretty sure she's the biggest hypocrite on the planet, bc it turns out that /she's/ the "worst sister ever", not chloe. 

(if chloe survived, zoe would help her come out to their parents and fight for her every step of the way, and evan would be even more confused bc holy shit chloe's pretty but he likes/liked zoe and w h a t   e v e n ??? is it weird to like them both? and honestly the murphy girls just think it's funny to make him blush so sometimes they do play up the opposite twins thing. it also works on alana a bit, and zoe is /so/ not complaining about that)

[thegazeofficial-blog]

Our Favorite Videos of 2016

“I Am Chemistry” - Yeasayer

Released: January 7, 2016

Director(s): New Media Limited

Hunter: Okay. First of all, just look at this whole giving birth scene in the first 30 seconds of the video.

Kirk: They’re like “Hi, if you can’t handle this weird-ass claymation imagery, stop watching now.”

H: That’s the real allure of this video. What’s claymation and what’s digital animation? I don’t understand what I’m watching which automatically gives this video a psychedelic edge, but then it just gets weirder and continues to make sure I have no idea what’s happening.

K: It’s a great marriage of song and video. It made me like the song. I don’t even know how to describe what we’re watching except for we’re in some other-worldly acid trip. It’s very Adult Swim “Off the Air” stuff. 

H: Yeah, don’t do drugs, but if you ever do drugs and proceed to watch music videos, pick this one.

K: No, do drugs. We’re condoning drugs. A smoking sesh would definitely be good for this video.

H: Well, we do get some interesting lights and dancing, which are common ingredients for a good music video, but what really sold me on this video is the amount of detail. I can’t even break it down to describe it in a meaningful way because there’s just so much going on.

K: Yeah! That’s what makes it great! Whoever made this music video... I don’t know what I’m looking at, and that’s true psychedelia.  Like who are you? What’s happening? Can I join your cult? These are the questions I’m thinking. 

“Chasing Shadows” - Santigold

Released: January 15, 2016

Director: Elliot Lester

H: Umm.. first of all, looks.

K: Looks!!! She’s so effortlessly cool. I love all of her looks... Like yes, work getting that orange juice from the convenience store, girl. I wish I looked like that when I was just running errands. I love the color schemes. It’s nice to see videos that embrace lots of colors.

H: I think people stay away from color because it’s hard to do well, but she knows exactly how to execute it well. I love this aestheticization of mundane everyday activities, causing you to read into them more.

K: I also love that it’s Christmas in this video, which continues to allow it to have lots of lights and be very colorful.

H: Yeah, she’s living this middle-class housewife fantasy, although it’s very dystopian. She’s always alone. Never happy. Just has her TV to keep her company...

K: And it’s actually just static on the screen...

H: Nobody’s at her dinner party. And in this one scene, she appears like a giant in this suffocatingly small room. I feel like she’s giving us this commentary on the emptiness of the “American Dream” sold to women..

K: I agree. And it’s just enforced in everything. The clawfoot bathtub, the classic beehive hairdo, that 50′s mod dress... everything.

H: Yeah, it’s all very... “look how unfulfilling the aspirations of femininity our society prescribes to women are.” 

“Chasing Shadows,” is that like a thing? Is that like a phrase people say or did she make it up?

K: It’s a thing. It’s like Peter Pan... chasing something you can’t catch.

H: Oh... well yeah. Then there you go.

(Both laugh)

H: *sighs* Well, here it is then, the American Dream.

K: She’s got great decorating skills though...

H: Yeah, honestly I wouldn’t be that mad... 

“Kill V. Maim” - Grimes

Released: January 19, 2016

Director(s): Claire Boucher & Mac Boucher

K: I don’t even have time to unpack all of the imagery that’s happening in this video. It’s like a post-modern... iconoclast.. like mish-mash of everything that Grimes is, and I’m obsessed with it. Let’s just say what she’s giving us. She’s giving me “Akira.” She’s giving me anime. She’s giving me “Kill Bill.” She’s giving me like... 60′s samurai movie? What else?  It’s goth... It’s grunge... It’s 90′s rave... She’s giving us 80′s sci-fi... She’s giving us like Dolly Parton meets Nine Inch Nails and Marilyn Manson... She’s like “Oh yeah, also here’s my art! Also, I directed this video! Also, I styled this whole thing!” 

H: It’s steampunk... it’s vampires... My favorite part of this new era of Grimes is that it’s a very hyperbolized version of what she was before. So she really is just giving us all of the elements of Grimes in a big way.

K: If there was ever any restraint to Grimes, it’s gone. As someone who’s a filmmaker and who has a very specific inner world, I’m really inspired by Grimes. She takes everything she loves, throws it on the wall, and is like “Screw it. I’m going to include everything that I’m about.”

H: This mosh pit rave is such a a great ecstatic moment. I love the idea of this small white girl aestheticizing her aggression and highlighting this violent part of human nature in an artistic way that most people choose to neglect.

K: I love how bloody it is. She was definitely a goth in high school that would secretly listen to Mariah Carey and wouldn’t tell her friends.

H: It’s really every goth/emo nerds’ dream.  I want to live in this video. It hits on a lot of subcultures that don’t get addressed by other pop artists... Look at those “Legend of Zelda” hearts on the top of the screen! Like, c’mon! There’s so many amazing outfits... like this guy in the same visor that Beyoncé wore in her “7/11″ video....

K: There’s also really only 3 or 4 settings... As a filmmaker, it shows you can make a great video with limited resources. This video probably didn’t cost that much to make.

H: Aside from the “Mad Max” caravan through some Tokyo-esque city, we’re really just getting a lot of fun dancing in great costumes in like 3-4 settings... and that’s all you need when it comes to music videos! Exhibit A.

“Wedding” - Poliça

Released: January 28, 2016

Director: Ryan Kron Thompson

K: Okay, obviously this comes off as a Sesame Street/Muppet-esque kids show. It’s even shot in full screen like an old TV show. 

H: Yeah, I think it’s very much in vain of all the other forms of 90′s nostalgia that are trendy right now.

K: It’s like a dark beautiful PSA for the youth. They’re telling them things kids need to know, like police need a warrant to search you. I mean, these are things that I/any of us need to remember.

H: It’s very effective taking the format of a typically wholesome educational kids show and giving us some hard truths, especially for people of color. It’s like why doesn’t this already exist? Oh yeah, because mainstream media is tailored for a white audience.

K: The police brutality... The gas coming over them... I can’t handle this... But then again it still has kind of funny moments like Sesame Street. The juxtaposition helps with the dark undertones of the video. 

H: It’s depressing, but these are conversations that should be normalized. I like how frantic and disorganized it is at the end. It takes it back to the idea that this is revolutionary subversive rebellion, even though the original presentation is very tame.

“Formation” - Beyoncé

Released: February 6, 2016

Director: Melina Matsoukas

K: What can I say that hasn’t already been said about this video? What’s cool is that this came out before Lemonade, and we’re getting introduced to this Southern Imagery. “Formation” is much more a portrait of New Orleans over the other videos in Lemonade though. From the opening shot with the police car, the mardi gras wear, the wig shop... we get to see a profile of the people of New Orleans. 

H: A post-Katrina New Orleans, which really isn’t talked about enough. My main take away from Formation/Lemonade was how powerful the images were of Beyoncé occupying spaces that black women’s narratives are usually excluded from. 

The swimming pool scene originally got me thinking about this, because it gave me a visual that forced me to think harder about what it was like back when public pools were segregated, and then about all of the other disgusting aspects of antebellum Southern culture in general. 

And Beyoncé asserting the power of a black woman’s narrative continues throughout Lemonade. In the “Don’t Hurt Yourself” video, Beyoncé is this badass that you don’t want to cross in this parking garage, and it’s a total flip of the script of the way I, and probably most femme-identifying people, feel in parking garages, which is vulnerable to attack. I think it totally highlights the relationship between women and violence in that setting in a subversive af way.

Although the “Formation” parking lot scene did seem kind of random alongside all the other scenes from this video...

K: It captures a more modern mode of black representation, like 90′s hip-hop video. it’s trying to cover lots of different ground all at once which helps it be a good intro to Lemonade. The little boy breakdancing in front of the SWAT team is some of the most powerful imagery of the whole video. It’s so bold for Beyoncé.

H: That scene is amazing because it’s surface-level controversial, because nobody wants to talk about the way people of color and police are interacting, but it’s actually very sweet and pacifist, because they end up dancing and putting their hands up

K: On a superficial level, the looks and choreography and the aesthetic are all amazing and visually entertaining.

H: Oh, yeah. And there’s that.

“So Much It Hurts” - Niki & the Dove

Released: February 11, 2016

Directors: Gustavo Torres & Clara Luzian

K: I just want to say, as someone with tattoos of pixelated palm trees on their arms, that this video is everything to me. This is my dream pop dream come true. When I’m stoned in bed, this is the world I want to live in. Everything about this video is 80′s to tee from the old school supernintendo style imagery... the Tron-esque CGI... 

H: The neon cityscapes... the record player... It’s also kinda giving us Windows ‘95 screensaver... It doesn’t matter what’s going on in this video, because it’s all aesthetic af. 

K: Just make sure to include me going “Ugh! UGHHH!” a million times.

H: My favorite scenes are these psychedelic transition scenes with the shooting stars in the background, I’m a sucker for that kind of thing. Then, I love love love that she briefly emerges in one of those scenes as a neon power-ballad singing diva.

K: I think it’s a cool choice that she’s barely in the video. They concentrate their time on maximizing the amount of cheesy 80′s vibes. I love that it knows it, owns it, and pushes it.

H: Yes, and it’s funny how It seems like it’s going to tell a story in the beginning with these pairs of legs, but it’s mainly like let’s just party and dance.

“Upside Down & Inside Out” - OK Go

Released: February 11, 2016

Directors: Damian Kulash Jr. & Trish Sie

H: You can hate on it all you want, but OK Go are a band who really invests in their music videos, and that’s clearly what we’re about.

K: It’s just all so precious and kitschy, but they do do a certain thing that nobody else does... I’m just not a huge fan. It’s not like they hugely influenced music videos, they’re just known specifically for doing this sort of thing.

H: I disagree. The “Here It Goes Again” video was hugely influential in the aspect that it got a lot of people talking about that music video. People who wouldn’t normally watch music videos. They definitely have mastered the art of creating something visual for their music, even if it’s not high art or using the cinematographic tools you admire/respect.

Of the two videos they released in 2016, I like this one more because the zero gravity allows them to create really original and exciting visuals. I don’t really like it when they spend half the video explaining the technique behind it’s creation.

K: I don’t care if it costs $20 million to make, if I don’t care about its aesthetic, then I just don’t care. That’s how I feel about them. It’s all very silly and like “Whoaaa! What are they gonna do next???”

H: ...it’s good.

(laughter)

K: It is impressive. No other comment.

“Voodoo in My Blood” - Massive Attack & Young Fathers

Released: February 23, 2016

Director: Andrzej Żuławski

H: Okay, who is this woman again?

K: Rosemund Pike. She’s probably best known as the woman from Gone Girl. Massive Attack is still huge in the U.K. and so it’s badass that they could have this Oscar-nominated actress to be in this weird/dark as f*ck video.

H: Yes, I love that it all takes place in the same setting of this underground train station, yet it’s fully enthralling. It makes me wonder more about the story, like what is the world above this? Where was she coming from? Where is she going?

K: The lighting, the colors, and her outfit are all great, but what really makes it work is her acting. She gives it some Oscar-level commitment for this weird sci-fi Massive Attack video that totally sells it. I love this abandoned underground London tunnel and this weird-ass avant-garde dance... I’m pretty sure this is drawing inspiration from this scene in Possession. God bless whoever choreographed this. This is like how I dance alone in my room because I have no dance moves.

H: The dancing’s my favorite part! I like the lack of control, such a beautiful aspect of dance, being connected to something violent and lack of control in a very dark dystopian way. The way she’s slamming against everything and sweaty and fearful and joyous at times... It really amplifies the song. It’s enticing in a violent and beautiful way.

K: The video really makes me like the song. It’s almost like the soundtrack that’s killing it to this very cinematic scene. It’s bringing cinematography to music videos, and not as many people are doing conceptual videos these days.

H: We’re getting some serious Black Mirror realness. It really makes you think about technology even if you don’t know what you’re thinking about it, but it’s fine because it’s also just pleasant and interesting to watch.

“Ablaze” - School of Seven Bells

Released: March 28, 2016

Director: Alan Del Rio Ortiz

K: So more straight music video aesthetic, but like... deal with it! Sad girl goes out in a shoegaze dream to a tee. It’s just like... us.

H: “Sad girl” is always my favorite aesthetic, which is why I’m obsessed with this. To me it is so similar to Lana Del Rey’s “Video Games” video of her just singing but chopped up with all of this other imagery that fully embellishes on her aesthetic, but this is more of what I actually vibe with. It even has a blooming flower like the “Video Games” video... like, c’mon! I just want to have this song playing in my headphones as I’m riding the bus home late at night under the influence and staring out at the city while being pensive/sad. 

K: I’m more into when she’s being sad in her bed, but with the cool lights on her...

H: I mean... that is what you’re into... but what I’M into is about being sad out on the town and drowning in the city.

K: Yeah, you’re a little younger than me... but you’ll get to where I’m at one day. Going out on the town does kind of have a cinematic feeling in real life too though. It’s mundane, but it makes you feel like your life is exciting and beautiful. It’s cool to see that captured.

H: I feel like this is tumblr youth culture to a tee right now, and it’s brilliant because it’s like... of course this is in existence, but it hasn’t been done quite to this level yet.

K: Yeah, it’s on the nose in the best way. What I love about nostalgia and throwbacks is that you can take all the elements that we connect to and you can put them back together again... like a shoegaze Humpty Dumpty.

“Your Best American Girl” - Mitski

Released: April 13, 2016

Director: Zia Anger

K: Tears streamed down my face the first time I watched this. I was so broken up by a breakup tbh...

H: Same! Well, not the tears part, but...

K: Like this is my moment of 2016... Yas, Mitski. Yas!

H: My moment of this video is when...

K: I don’t care! I want to talk about my moment first!

H: Lol. Okay!

K: My moment is watching her kiss herself while they kiss each other, and it’s passionate and she’s like feeling it too!

H: Yes. It’s such a self-love testament. Even if it is out of spite or heartbreak. Which brings me to my favorite part, which is just after that scene when it flashes to her in the gold dress, and she’s smirking like she’s plotting something, and then BOOM! The guitar comes in, and she’s striking her guitar. For me that takes the pain-turned-self-love moment to a whole other level, because she’s like “Y’all are over there f*cking, and I’m sad about it, but I’m going make some badass art out of it.”

K: Yeah, like “I’m going to make music, and be one of the best new artists of 2016. Byeee!”

The song is all about feeling like you don’t fit into this American couple paradigm, being mixed race, and we see this appropriative white girl wrapping herself and the boy in an American flag, further isolating Mitski from them and what being American entails. The separation is very distinct, because Mitski and the couple are never in the same shot until towards the end. Then Mitski’s like “I’m going to rock being outside of that. I don’t need y’all,” even though it still sucks.

The video concept is everything. We feel things, and we’re not even people of color. Plus, this video probably cost nothing to make, but it’s so layered and conveys so much.

“Daydreaming” - Radiohead

Released: May 6, 2016

Director: Paul Thomas Anderson

K: The reason I like this video is because he always looks like he thinks he knows where he’s going in each of these settings, but he’s still sort of lost. It’s like this metaphor for life. He knows which door to go to, but he never knows what’s behind each door.

H: I mean... it’s a statement for sure. I respect it as an art piece, but I’m just like... if I have to watch him go through another gd door, I’m going to kill myself. 

K: It’s so beautiful. Here’s a music video that is trying to be high art, like going to Cannes-shit. I like that it’s trying to be more than just a music video. It’s kind of like a film. It’s about his performance. Not to mention that it’s shot beautifully and it’s directed by Paul Thomas Anderson, which is cool that he’s still directing music videos even though he’s this highly accomplished director. 

It makes you think about life being a series of choices, and that’s it. He’s never truly interested in anything even if it’s a surprising setting. It’s about knowing exactly where you’re going but simultaneously being lost. He’s not trying that hard, and it just ends in him dying. 

I just have shivers for 4 minutes straight. i don’t even have much to say.

H: I appreciate the artistry being brought forth. I did feel things. It’s just a little... boring?

K: It’s not boring! It has momentum! It becomes more frantic, and you can see the discomfort in his face.

H: Okay, it’s an amazing powerful video. It’s just not a video I would go back and watch over and over again.

K: Okay, but this brings us to a broad philosophical question, which is that are things only good if they can be rewatched over and over again? Because I think some of my favorite films are films that I would never watch again. That’s what I like about it. Music videos tend to be fun and rewatchable, and it’s kind of cool to watch a video that is pushing the envelope more in an artistic direction. It’s not fun to watch, because it makes me feel things that aren’t super fun, but the level of thoughtfulness is way higher than most videos.

H: I do think it’s amazing. You’re right. That’s not sarcasm.

K: Okay.

“Easy” - Hinds

Released: May 18, 2016

Director: John Strong

K: Another great example of a cheap, easy...

H: EASY! Wink, wink...

K: ...easily made video. 

H: I already like the smeared mascara looks. This whole sad party rocker girl that’s not here for your physical enjoyment is already pretty punk rock

K: Yeah, that could have been the whole video, and I still would have enjoyed it. They’re pretty girls too, but “let’s have streamed mascara because f*ck you.” Then they keep flipping the switch, because it’s basically a series of closeups with these revolving shots. Then UNH. Each time, we’re like “what is happening?” I love this spaghetti mouth look.

H: She’s like “I don’t give a f*ck if we’re gross.” They have cake and spaghetti coming out of their mouths, and as if that wasn’t enough, she slurps it back into her mouth!

K: Then there’s this girl smoking, which could also be considered not very feminine. They’re like stoner chicks. It’s such a video that Wavves or someone like that would do, but it’s so much punk rock that a group of girls are like “Hey, we’re stoner punks too, and we can be gross and smear shit on our faces all we want.” When they have the dicks and the post-party shit all over their faces is when the video really sold me. 

H: And her vomiting as she’s singing! They just further keep on deconstructing their appearance. Each time emphasized by the trick of eye light flickers. So punk rock.

“When It Rain” - Danny Brown

Released: June 14, 2016

Director: Mimi Cave

H: We have interesting dancing, psychedelic special effects, and a cool VHS-filter... enough said.

K: It’s like video art. It’s got a great color palette. The dancing is cool. It’s also this portrait of Detroit. He’s like this fairly famous rapper, and it’s like he’s still presenting his real life in Detroit. That’s what I love about him. He’s keeping it real while keeping it very aesthetic at the exact same time.

H: I think Danny Brown’s iconic for not conforming to white-normative standards of what rap should be. He really keeps things at an avant-garde intellectual level.

K: Yes, he’s like “Yeah, I sold crack in Detroit,” but he’s still very intellectual, knows a lot about music, knows a lot about film, literally named his new album after a Joy Division album. He’s just very well-versed in everything. He understands hip-hop, understands the avant-garde, understands art, and just mixes them together.

H: I think it is really powerful. In my Beyonce/Rihanna feminism course I took, we talked a lot about how Rihanna embraces “ratchet aesthetics” and how that’s a subversive political tactic against white-normative media..

K: Especially because we have all these white consumers of hip-hop, we see this delineation between ratchet/gangster rap and “intellectual” mainstream-consumable hip-hop, and I feel like Danny Brown is like “I can do both, because both are just as important as the other. 2001′s A Space Odyssey is just as cool as Soulja Boy.

“Car” - Porches

Released: June 27, 2016

Director: Daniel Brereton

K: Okay, so basically this is my everything...

H: It’s very white people. That’s how I feel when I watch Porches’ videos.

K: But it’s good white people art. This is what I want white people art to be. I love it. I love his outfit. I love how self-serious and goofy they are at the same time. I love this 80′s/90′s setup, like we’re on a photo shoot with all the wires, but It’s also kind of like we’re in a museum.

H: Yeah, I like anything that gives me Andy Warhol’s Factory vibes. I love that idea of this performance art space that can be anything, and here they are performing in it. It’s like a GAP commercial’s take on The Factory.

K: Well, it’s produced by Urban Outfitters, so that’s pretty spot on. I love it. It’s just everything I want. It’s so much. 

“Shut Up Kiss Me” - Angel Olsen

Released: June 29, 2016

Director: Angel Olsen

H: C’mon, tinsel wig!!

K: I just love how playful this video is. She’s hanging out of her vintage car in a letterman jacket. She’s at a roller rink. She’s skating around with those balloons...

H: It’s like classic video girl, but in an ironic way. She’s like “I’m in a tinsel wig, so I’m clearly not seriously trying to be this video girl.”

K: Right, there’s something very ridiculous about the whole thing. Look how pouty she is. I also love that it looks like it was shot on film. It’s just really pretty to look at.

H: I like her constantly acknowledging the camera. I feel like that’s kind of the whole point of this video, her being like “Am I the girl that you want yet? Clearly I can be the girl that you want me to be, but I’m trying to be Angel Olsen, so like can I live?” The continued eye contact just sends this “Are you entertained yet? ‘Casue I’m over it” vibe. 

K: It’s very comedic in an old school silly way. Juxtaposing this with what she was before this album also adds power to it. Most of her songs/videos are very restrained but sad.

And then in case you haven’t caught on yet, she gives you the whole point of the video at the end with “Do you feel this attitude or...?”

“Nikes” - Frank Ocean

Released: August 19, 2016

Director: Tyrone Lebon

H: How many times are we going to say “90′s VHS filter?” Clearly that was a major trend in 2016′s music videos, and we fell for it every time. 

Ugh. He’s so hot, and I want this white bedazzled bodysuit. 

K: Ugh, yes, Frank. The eyeliner... Wear it every day. I bet it took days to get all that glitter off. It’s powerful to see a popstar be so feminine.

H: That’s what I love about this video. I feel like when Frank Ocean came out as bi, he kind of became this LGBT icon that he never really asked to be. Whether or not he asked for it, he’s very important to pop culture. People expect greatness from him, and he’s really owning it and stepping up to the title in this video. He’s very playful with his sexuality and masculine/feminine sides. He’s got glitter. He’s got eyeliner. He has naked bodies of people of different genders.

And as if this video wasn’t already political, he includes Trayvon Martin, and it’s just so good! This video highlights a lot of black people and seemingly working class people, including sex workers, which is really refreshing, especially in such an avant-garde way. Frank is here for black representation. He’s here for queer representation. This video really just highlights what all the hype over Frank Ocean is about, and why it’s justified.

K: Oh my god. I forgot about [the scene of the woman in the water tank]. That’s amazing. What makes film beautiful is that you can watch something and feel like you understand what’s happening based on context clues, but then they make you believe something like “we’re underwater,” and it turns out we actually have this stark minimalist setup of this woman being filmed in a tank.

H: That’s part of what gives this video a lot of power. It plays a lot of tricks on the eyes and the mind, like the subtle switch between men and women. It gives us the music video tropes of the lights, the partying, the women, but it’s done in a way that is very self-aware and somber about how constructed it all is.

K: Right. Like that meta-ness of showing them shooting it. They constantly remind us that this is a music video. We have all the elements of an R&B video, except they’ve been deconstructed, queerified, and taken to a very high art level. 

H: The contrast between the shots of the film equipment and moments like the shining pussy gives you this mix of “Remember, this is constructed because it’s my art, but also this is what I’m trying to get across.” It goes well with the minimalist sound of the album too. He’s taking this just as seriously as the album.

K: Exactly, because this is the only visual we got for this album.

H: He waited so long to give us an album. He’s clearly very controlled about what he releases into the world, and in this video he really nailed it from every angle.

K: I agree. He’s giving you Frank, the R&B/pop-star, but he’s also trying to expose to you that he sees the big picture through all of this. He’s giving you something that’s cool to watch, but he realizes the place of power that he’s in and he’s here for us in more ways than mindless entertainment.

“Fade” - Kanye West

Released: August 28, 2016

Director: Eli Linnetz

K: This is another video that has already been talked about a lot, but I mean just look at this lighting, and the film grain...

H: Yeah, I mean, it’s Kanye West, and he debuted this at the VMA’s, so it had a lot to live up to, but honestly it’s just simple and beautiful. It’s a great choreography vid. Teyana Taylor looks great. It’s inspirational almost... like I need to get my ass to a gym.

Lol at how this debuted around the same time as Ariana Grande’s “Side to Side” music video that’s also set in a gym, and this just slays so much harder...

K: More interesting and artistic for sure.

H: I also just love the connection between exercise and dance. It emphasizes the beauty in being connected to your body.

K: This [shower scene] part of the video, I’m like eh.

H: No! I love it! I feel like Kanye’s always working on breaking down barriers. He gives us this dance sequence that’s almost sexual but not, and then here’s the full on.

K: See, I feel like I could have done without that.

H: I feel like it’s important. Like when else are you going to see black people, especially a darker-skinned black person, being so overtly sexual in media primarily consumed by a white audience?

K: It was like a connection to the last shot, which is amazing. So I’ll deal with it.

H: Well then he drops that last shot, and is like “BTW, I’m still Kanye and avant-garde af, so even though this is a minimalist choreography vid, here’s this.” And we’re all like “Wait... what?”

“Everybody Wants to Love You” - Japanese Breakfast

Released: September 20, 2016

Directors: Adam Kolodny & Michelle Zauner

K: Her in this Geisha wear at these dive bars being really silly is this cool juxtaposition of imagery that I have not seen.

H: Her emotion in it is great. She’s very campy and having fun, but also angsty.

K: Kind of similar to the Hinds video, it’s like girls doing drunk/stoner boy things like eating a huge sandwich and shotgunning a beer. Especially being in this geisha wear, it’s like “Just because I’m a girl, it doesn’t mean that I can’t do whatever I want.”

H: Yeah, even though on the outside she’s like this idealized representation of femininity, she’s a complex person who is not going to be what you intend for her to be. She just whipped out a guitar and is playing it on an 18 wheeler, she’s not here for your assumptions about her.

K: Yeah, it’s very much a masculine world, so it’s empowering to punk chicks. It’s really simple. Really well done. It makes me like the song and band more, which is the sign of a truly good music video.

“Cranes in the Sky” - Solange

Released: October 2, 2016

Director: Alan Ferguson

K: Everything about this is beautiful. Every setting. Every outfit. The camera angles. The lighting. Normally in music videos we have all these crazy light shows, and what we have is this classic cinematic lighting. The zoom-out/zoom-in staircase shot is so sick. This music video feels like a movie. It reminds me of a lot of avant-garde video art that I’ve seen, but done as a music video. We are getting into the world of what A Seat at the Table is trying to be.

H: It feels very classic, even though it’s the new era of Solange. The softness of the color palettes... It’s all very relaxing but at the same time, she just gives us SO much.

Like these dresses that are all connected... who’s done that before? This shot of them all touching and rolling around on each other is amazing. She has lots of moments of her seemingly isolated, but then she has these moments of sisterhood and connection. Throughout the video she maintains a very collected expression and direct eye contact with the camera. She’s the star of a pop music video, but she’s letting you know that she’s unamused and is taking it all very seriously.

K: What’s truly beautiful is when you watch something and you don’t even really know what it’s trying to tell you. I’m not even trying to analyze what’s going on, but it’s just beautiful. I feel like I’m totally being brought into Solange’s world, and I don’t understand it on an intellectual level, but I still get a feeling of how profound it is.

It all fits together. There’s a lot, but it’s very controlled. It’s such a good piece of art, because it’s clearly just trying to be a piece of art. It’s a beautiful integration of motion, sound, and image. 

“After the Afterparty” - Charli XCX feat. Lil Yachty

Released: October 30, 2016

Director: Diane Martel

K: Another video shot in full screen. It’s a thing!

H: Umm... well first of all this crimped hair look is amazing. She looks gorgeous. 

K: I love this zombie meets pastels meets “our organs are candy” thing that’s going on. 

H: Yes! For me, it’s very reminiscent of Miley’s “We Can’t Stop” video. Dramatized soft but edgy party imagery, but this is apocalyptic and pink. It’s very Charli. It’s very femme power. It’s very early 2000′s nostalgia. 

K: OMG. I love this golf-hoe moment. I love the makeup. I love how campy it is. I love the sugary sweetness.

H: That whole cropped sweater with the bra showing is so trendy right now as we’ve seen with Tinashe and Kehlani. My favorite part about Charli is that she’s very intelligent about acknowledging her references. Her inspirations are palpable, but still presented in a novel self-aware way.

K: She’s a hodge-podge in a good way. She takes all of her references and brings them up to date.

“Dope Dealer” - ScHoolboy Q feat. E-40

Released: November 4, 2016

Director: Ryan Staake

K: So the entire video is from the point of view of literal marijuana. Like even the scenes of ScHoolboy Q and E-40 smoking are from the tip of the blunt. 

H: It’s genius! My first thought when I watched this video was “How has this not been made yet??” I think that’s the sign of a truly amazing piece of work, when you just think “this makes sense.” I loved every moment of it. It’s this representation of gangster life but with a lighthearted, comedic twist. 

K: Yes. It gets dark, but it’s done in a very Quentin Tarantino way that is supposed to be funny and entertaining. 

H: Even aside from this being from the point of view of the weed, we have funny moments like how these pretty L.A. white girls are the ones pushing the weed.

K: He presents everything in a very low-key not hyper-sensationalized way. He’s giving us some real shit, but instead of glorifying it or downplaying it, he’s just having fun with it.  You get the sense that he’s being real in the presentation of his world even if he’s being comedic about it.

H: It’s also a fresh presentation of many classic hip-hop video tropes, because we still have smoking, partying, hot girls, etc.

[annaconkling]

Event interviews

Notes:

Dumbo flea market

3pm oct 7 2018

Muggy day

Flea market is very busy

Went up to a few people who said they were too busy

Walked further in to the flea market

Lisa Ferrari-Sullivan owns a vintage clothing store called “Pimbeche Vintage”

Me: What's your name?

Lisa: My name is Lisa Ferrari-Sulivan

Me: And what is the business called?

Lisa: It’s called “Pimbeche Vintage”

Me: I can take breaks or pause the recording if you need to talk to people

Me: When did it start?

Lisa: Well, I started probably like seven years ago

Me: So did you just start coming to the flea market here?

Lisa: I’ve been collecting vintage for probably over ten years

Me: Oh wow

Lisa: Maybe fifteen years. Then I just decided kind of to sell it.

Me: Where do you find your clothes?

Lisa: Everywhere! I go to thrift shops I go to estate sales, I go to auctions

Me: So do you just travel and do it or have you been to the Washington Square Park market? Or anything like that?

Lisa: No, I travel. I travel around to different areas

Me: In New York City?

Lisa: And just all over.

Me: Do you live here?

Lisa: I live in Queens

Me: You’re trying to open a shop right?

Lisa: Maybe eventually, yes.

Me: Do you have a specific thing you look for whenever you’re trying to find clothes?

Lisa: Quality.

Me: What type of thrift shops do  you go to? Do you find them at Goodwill….

Lisa: All different ones. It doesn’t matter, I  usually find one or two things wherever I go.

Me: Does it sell well here?

Lisa: Yes, usually I do pretty well there's slow days and good days but today hasnt been a very good day.

Me: What made you start wanting to do this though?

Lisa: I started to accumulate a lot of stuff because I was collecting vintage and it kind of took over. I was working full time, then I got married and had kids and thought “okay I need something I can do part time” and it just kind of worked out.

Me: You want to open up a store, have you thought about where?

Lisa: Maybe somewhere in Queens, I feel like there's not a lot of it there

Me: Bushwick would be good too, there's a lot of young people in Bushwick

Me: What drew you towards clothing?

Lisa: Well I worked in the fashion industry, I have a business degree I didn't study fashion per say but I worked in the commercial offices for a lot of french companies so then i was doing that full time then when I got married and had kids I thought I needed to do something but I was a stay at home mom

Me: So you wanted a side job

Lisa: Right and then this took off

Me: So now it's working pretty well

Me: And expanding?

Lisa: I hope too

Me: Have you looked at depop do you know that shop

Lisa: No i don't

Me: It's like etsy, you sell to a younger crowd

Lisa: Oh that could actually work because i sell to younger customers

Me: Do you have a certain type of vintage that you lean towards? Like grunge, 80s?

Lisa: I personally love older things from the 30s or 40s but those things are very delicate, I dont bring them here and they don't sell as well as the grunge and the 90s

Me: So that's what sells very well

Lisa: Definitely and a bunch of 90s dresses more of a grunge look. So I guess because thats what in the mainstream right now

Me: Do you add yourself to it? Does it have aspects of you?

Lisa: I do because I like glamours things so i throw that in there to mix it up and let people decide for themselves

Me: So is fashion your passion?

Lisa: Ya i'm really good at buying but i'm not very good at selling I love buying it and I know what to get.

Me: How long has this been around though

Lisa: Here, I’ve been doing the brooklyn flea almost 6 years now I think So it's doing very well I like it.

Me: Have you ever had to deal with anybody trying to steal anything?

Lisa: Yeah i had a bunch of bags stolen a couple weeks ago

Me: How do you stop that?

Lisa: I try to look but i'm not very observant

Me: Where do you find the handbags?

Lisa: The same places

Me: Were you fashionable when you were younger

Lisa: When i was working in the fashion industry I had to step up my game because you have to look put together I was fashionable when i was younger too but a lot of the stuff i’m selling now I wouldn’t have worn in the 90s which is funny but its cool some of the dresses that i actually see on girls look super cool but they didn't look cool back then.

Interview 2

Danielle and Jamie of Positive Times

A:What's your company called?

D: It’s called positive times we started about four years ago

A: How did you get started

D: We started off as a jewelry company we played around in our parents basements then it escalated to the point where we now have a studio in greenpoint

It started off as jewelry and now we offer home goods so we have either beauty products which we have our new line of nail polishes which contain crystal dust in them if you want to talk about that a little bit because that's your-

J: oh so the moonstone nail polish has real moonstone in it nail polish and it's also free from the ten most harmful chemicals that are normally found in nail polish

A: How did you pick the crystals to go in it

D: so each crystals have its own properties that go in it

Example amethyst has insight if you want to bring more insight into your life rose quartz is love and hope we talk about the properties, we offer cards that tell you about the properties and we say that if you find a stone you’re drawn towards than that's the one you should choose

A: How did you guys get started with that part of the jewelry

D:It started with the jewelry our jewelry has  crystals in it in our personal lives we keep crystals around throw it in some water to charge them We both when we were younger collected a lot of stones i would go on family trips to national parks and to the south west so i always liked crystals and it played a part in my life later because and influenced my career path because i went to school for education and earth science and took a lot of geology classes that had a lot to do with minerals and the way they form in the earth and then that kind of escalated

A: How do you guys know each other

D: We are actually friends from middle school, we’ve been friends for over fifteen years now

A: So you chose the business then you chose her as a partner

D: The jewelry started because we both have allergies to certain things i can only wear sterling silver or 14 carat gold so we made sure all our jewelry had that then we also have very odd sized fingers i have very small fingers and she has bigger ring sizes so we just decided to make our own jewelry and then it kind of escalated from there we were making simple things and now we’re actually using torches and shaping things and using different tools to make it more sturdy

A: How long does it take to make things like the necklace

J : we have an assembly line so it's not a certain time

D: But it is a process because we have to shape the brass, punch a hole in the brass sand the brass and then we make the thing to hold the crystals in and then we obviously have to add the chain

How did you guys learn to do this?

J: youtube university

A: Has it been pretty successful?

D: Yeah it's also been quite a ride it's definitely taking off

A:How did it start?

D: Just kind of friends and family were purchasing and then it escalated, we have a website and do flea markets and pop up shops and we are in storefronts too we don't have a store but that would be the goal it'd be really nice but right now we just have a studio and sell to shops out of brooklyn and out of new jersey

How long have you been doing it?

J: We started making the jewelry around six years ago the business about five years ago

A: Did you start the business by going to flea markets?

D: Yeah

A: Do you have to have a license to do that?

D: Yes 100% you have to register with the sales tax you have to pay taxes you get insurance too to sell as well

A: You guys are really young how did you decide you wanted to do this instead of other things?

D: I dont know, we still have our day jobs but we do this on the weekends

A: What's your day jobs?

D: I work with kids she's a graphic designer that also molded how we do our packaging

J:  If were being honest this started because i designed a logo which we had nothing to do with

D: It was a plus and an X and we got positive times from there

A: Do you guys have a big group of buyers?

D: Yeah we do most of our advertisement is on social media its the best way to get publicity I couldn't imagine not knowing how to use social media especially in a business.  

A: Are there a lot of online orders

D: Yeah we get a lot of online orders it's nice to see when its not people we know. We’re coming out with a new fall line our nail polishes will be darker and deeper tones which are more appropriate for fall and winter

A: Do you have a place in the county where you have a lot of sales?

D: Mostly california and nyc people like to shop locally we have a lot o orders in California

A: How old are yall

D: We’re turning 30 in a month

[maryofone]

Schwing

Sometimes I worry that I’m never going to find a love as pure as what I felt for Wayne’s World.

One of the benefits of having much older siblings was that I got exposed to a lot of pop culture before it was technically age-appropriate. Long before the days of PVR, my brother and sister would sometimes tape episodes of SNL and let me watch them the next day. But of course, being me, I didn’t just watch them the next day. I watched them over and over for several days. Months even. I'll never forget how excited I got popping those tapes in, waiting for all of the scratchy static lines to disappear from the edges of the screen, and watching the cold open come into focus. That show was the coolest thing I had ever seen.

Getting to watch skits like Sprockets and Coffee Talk were enough to make me love Mike Myers, but my sister certainly had an influence. When I was eight my sister was 20 and I thought she invented cool. She listened to cool music, had cool friends, had the coolest bedroom that I always wanted to hang out in, and was (is) essentially the pop culture authority in our house. And she loved Mike Myers. All of his skits, all of his characters and catchphrases.  To this day if I watch Mike Myers do something funny I automatically attach my sister’s laugh to it.

Wayne’s World had became a pretty popular skit in the early 90’s, enough to make a movie out of it. My sister took me to see it and I officially found my new religion. Seeing Wayne on the big screen felt like I had died and went to heaven. I loved it so much I went two more times to see it.

Wayne Campbell made me swoon before I even knew what swooning was. Mike Myers has one of those smiles that takes over his whole face, and it used to fill my little kid heart with sunshine. Paired with this silly, mildly shit-disturbing attitude, and a love for all things RAWK, he was a total fucking babe.

I also worshipped the movie because it taught me about music too. Having two older siblings made me care about music from a young age, and Wayne’s World was the perfect study. I think we can all agree there’s no better way to learn about Bohemian Rhapsody. 

It was also right smack dab in the grunge era, which I think had an effect on how lovable Wayne and Garth were. The early 90’s music scene was full of metal-heads and stoners and greasy haired dudes who never smiled. Then along came Wayne and Garth, who were cool enough to party, but were also just a couple of really nice, friendly guys.

Even though the movie takes place in Illinois, there is an undeniable Canadian vibe about Wayne Campbell. Mike Myers has created a lot of wild, fantastical characters in his career, but there was something authentic about Wayne. He’s one part hoser, for sure.

Fortunately for me, Wayne’s World was PG enough that my parents could support my mild obsession with it, and they ended up buying me the movie for my birthday. And my reaction to this gift was so significant, it is one of my strongest childhood memories. 

Even though I talked nonstop about that movie to anyone in my family who would listen, I still never thought I would get to own it. When I ripped off the wrapping paper and saw those plaid shirts on the cover, I immediately burst into tears. Hot, sobbing tears. My family gathered around me with an amused kind of concern as I wept, but it wasn’t just the tears I remember feeling. I understand what the phrase ‘bursting with joy’ means, because of that moment. I was overcome with joy. My whole body was crying. There was pure light shining out of my heart. In my short little life, this was the single greatest moment. It was such an insane reaction. I guess it was just the closest thing to getting actual Wayne Campbell for my birthday.

These emotional peaks we feel in life are fleeting, and sometimes we can get caught chasing the next one. Am I ever going to feel about anything the way I felt about unwrapping Wayne’s World? I’m not even sure that feeling is possible as an adult. But if it is, it will be mine. Oh yes, it will be mine.