#and that would still fall under a week's span since i started making this. which i do care about.

[orcelito]

So I finished the 2nd double crochet border of my blanket

Which is all of what the pattern calls for. So by the book, I am done.

Except.

Idk I have lots of yarn left and I kinda wanna make it just a little bit bigger. One more border of double crochet.

With how hefty the blanket is, it wouldn't even be that awkward, hopefully 🤔 a hefty border for a hefty blanket 🤔

It's already used more yarn than god lol but what's a Little More....

[charmedimsure]

Silent Nights

pairing: Cahir x reader

summary: After an unexpected battle, you fear that Cahir has grown to resent you

word count: 1.4k

warnings: light swearing, implied smut at the end, canon-typical violence, light spoilers for the books but I tried to keep it vague

A/N: had book Cahir in my head for this one but hopefully it works for the show too. I tried to keep it gender neutral so lmk if I slipped up anywhere A/N part 2: I wrote this so long ago and forgot to post it so i'm just gonna do it now haha

The battle on the bridge over the Yaruga had put a small stop to your mission. Most of the company had obtained injuries in the battle, but thankfully nothing too serious. Milva, however, was going to need at least a week until she could get back into the saddle. She was in good hands with Regis taking care of her, but her body needed to rest.

Everyone spent time doting on Milva, but after a day she got fed up and yelled at everyone, so it was decided that she would be left to just Regis and occasionally Geralt.

You tried to focus on preparing for when Milva could get back in the saddle and your company would be on the move again, but your mind hadn't stopped racing since the battle, one specific moment replaying in your brain over and over.

You rushed through the gap that Cahir had made through the Nilfgaardian attackers, joining the Lyrian guerrillas in defending against the Black Ones. The Lyrians had been surrounded by the Nilfgaardians, but Cahir was able to charge right through them with the horse he had taken from a Nilfgaardian cavalryman at some point during the fight.

You slashed at a soldier when someone ran into you from behind, knocking you to the ground. A Nilfgaardian officer was standing above you. You crawled backwards away from him, but your head was kicked by a heavily armored foot, making your vision spin. The officer had his sword held high, about to strike, and you were in no way ready to dodge or parry, closing your eyes to prepare for the hit.

The blow never came. With his sword still raised in the air, the battle cry on the officer's lips was hushed as he fell to his knees. You looked up to see Cahir standing behind him, his blade covered in blood. He moved to help you up when he looked at the dying officer. You watched the way his eyes widened in recognition.

"Morteisen?" he said, unable to look away from the face of the Nilfgaardian.

You could barely make out the surprised "Cahir?" that came out of the officer's mouth before he slumped over, unmoving.

You could see the emotions on Cahir's face, but before you could say anything, your vision started to turn black and you felt yourself falling into Cahir's body, the last thing you remember seeing is the retreating Nilfgaardian army and the celebrating Lyrian soldiers.

It had been days since the battle and Cahir had barely said anything, often in his own world. Ever since he had joined the group, you and Cahir had been inseparable. You both were the only two who had trouble falling asleep at night, which led to late night conversations under the stars that had become deeper as time went on, telling each other things that you hadn't told anyone before. Over the span of just a few weeks Cahir became someone who you cared for deeply, possibly more than you had ever cared for anyone. But now the nights were filled with silence.

You couldn't help but feel the guilt take over you. Cahir had killed someone he knew because of you, possibly killed a friend because you had let yourself get caught off guard.

That night while everyone helps to make soup for dinner, you sit on a log next to Cahir, helping him peel the vegetables. He looks up at you as you sat down before turning his attention back to the carrot in his hand. The two of you sit in silence for a few minutes before you speak up.

"Were you close with him?" you ask. Cahir gives you a confused look. "The officer. Were you close with him?"

Cahir takes a deep breath and looks down at the food in his hands. "Mortiesen. We joined around the same time. Trained together. He was one of the first people I met in the army."

You can feel tears well up in your eyes as you fix your gaze back on your vegetables.

"I'm sorry," you say quietly, not even sure if Cahir is able to hear you. Out of the corner of your eye you can see Cahir's confused face again. "I'm sorry that you killed one of your friends because of me. And I understand if you don't want to talk to me anymore."

His confused expression changes to one of concern. Cahir shifts closer to you and gently takes the potato and the knife out of you hands, placing them down next to his.

"Why wouldn't I want to talk to you anymore?" he asks, taking your chin between his thumb and forefinger to make you look at him.

"You've been really quiet these past few days, I don't know if you're regretting killing him," you say, a tear sliding slowly down your cheek.

Cahir moves his hand to cup your cheek and uses his thumb to wipe away the stray tear. "I never imagined that would happen, but I will never regret what I did."

"You don't?" you ask, searching his stormy blue eyes and finding nothing but sincerity.

"Not at all," he says, leaning in closer so your faces are only a few inches apart. "Because if I hadn't killed him, he would have killed you."

You can see the tears start to form in his eyes. "Then why have you been so distant?"

He closes his eyes and puts his forehead against yours.

"Because I almost lost you," he whispers. "I saw you on the ground, and I saw him raising his sword to strike, and I just couldn't let anything happen to you. I was so scared that he was going to kill you."

You pull back from him a bit to look at him. You search his eyes again, wanting to make sure he means all of this.

"But your friend..." you say, barely above a whisper. Cahir takes your face in both of his hands and looks over your features.

"I would have killed Emperor Emhyr himself to keep you safe."

Your breath catches in your throat. You watch as Cahir's eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips and back up, as if asking for permission. You give him a small nod, and he closes the space between you.

You've kissed people before, but never like this. Your kiss is full of desperation for each other, pouring everything you feel for each other into it. Your hands slide up to his hair while he moves one hand to the back of your neck, angling your head to kiss you even deeper. You disconnect to take a breath before reconnecting again, needing to feel each other, needing to know that this is real.

Cahir takes the hand from your cheek and drags it down the side of your body, letting it slip underneath the fabric of your shirt to roam on your skin. A groan comes out of you at the feeling of his hand on your body, and you lightly tug his hair, Cahir releasing a groan of his own.

"Hey, are you done with the veg- oh shit!"

You jump apart and whip your heads in the direction of the voice, revealing a red-faced Dandelion. You're sure that your own face is not much different from the bard's.

Dandelion opens and closes his mouth a few times as if deciding what to say before he lands on a quick "I'll just grab them later" and runs off, leaving you alone again.

You sit in silence for a few moments, processing what just happened.

"He's going to tell everyone, isn't he?"

"He's definitely already telling them."

"We're never going to hear the end of this, huh?"

"Oh, never."

You turn back to face each other and quickly fall into a mess of laughter, Cahir hugging you close to his chest.

"Well, that just means I can do more of this," he says, pulling you into another kiss. You chuckle against his lips, feeling his smile.

"I'm sorry to stop you because we've all been waiting for this, but we really need those vegetables, Milva's threatening to shoot us if we don't finish the soup soon!"

You and Cahir break apart once again with a sigh.

"We're coming!" you yell, starting to get up. Cahir picks up the skinned vegetables from his cloak on the ground.

"To be continued," he says, pressing one last short kiss to your lips before walking off in the direction of Dandelion's voice, leaving you to follow after him, trying to calm your smile and prepare yourself to be bombarded upon your return to the group.

That night the two of you sneak away from the group, and for the first time in days you don't spend the night in silence, much to the displeasure of Geralt and his sensitive witcher hearing.

[myshkafs]

ON NATIONALITY SWITCHES, AND THE RUSSIAN FEDERATION:

Recently as of maybe a few months ago, we've seen two Russian athletes switch nationality in the span of 2 weeks. Sofya Samodelkina switches to Kazakhstan, and Sofya Titova switches to Armenia for the upcoming season.

Is this the first time we've seen Russian girls switch nationalities? No. Will it be the last? Definitely not. However, it is the first time that students of such a high profile coach (Evgeni Plushenko) and coaching team (Angels of Plushenko) have switched, and the first time that 2 have switched in such quick succession.

There have been rumours about Samo's switch since august of last year, so this isn't so surprising. She ranked 11th at RusNats, and was not a top skater at her time at CSKA, before she was kicked, so it makes sense for her to want to switch out. She was relatively competitive in the JGP back when Russia was still eligible for intl. starts, and was pretty decent on the junior circuit, including a silver medal at the 2021 Russian Junior Cup Final and Gold at the same event in 2020, along with some 4th place finishes at Russian juniors Nationals, 2 JGP medals (bronze at Rostelkom and 3rd in Slovenia) and a win at the 21-22 Denis Ten memorial.

When she graduated to Senior level, though, it just. Stagnated. We've known for a while that Russia's oversaturation alongside the biased judging makes it impossible for any up and coming talents to succeed, where the Eteri bonus holds so much weight. Samo finished 11th at both RusNats and the Russian GPF, and her only medals of the season came from her performances at the GP stages, where she came second at the 2nd stage Velvet Season, where her only competitors were Adeliya Petrosyan, Veronika Yametova, and a, at the time, struggling Alexandra Trusova who was fighting through injury and a lack of motivation. She then won the Volga Pirouette Stage, which again, her only competition at that event was Sasha, who wasn't landing any Ultra-C where Samo had a 3A.

All in all, her level of performance just was not enough to get her to that place of success she needed to be at, and with Russia's ban from intl. sport, it was only looking like it would get worse, despite her improvements from switching to AOP full time late last year. Samo, who had stated before that she wished Beijing would be postponed because she knew it was her only shot at going to the olympics, is grasping at straws to stay competitive, and it just so happened that her mother was born in Kazakhstan, making her eligible for citizenship by descent.

For her, I completely understand where this has come from. She will be an eligible senior when she returns to the international stage, and has the technical ability to blow people like Kaori Sakamoto and Loena Hendrickx out of the water. Is it worth is? 100%. She'll be able to get back out there, potentially stake her claim for some senior titles she wouldn't win under Russia, like National Championships and Four continents.

I think Kazakhstan would also be relatively grateful for the heightened exposure her fanbase would bring to the domestic Kazakh events, and hopefully she'd be able to contribute to building that domestic sport up by earning them places on the international start that they lost in womens ever since the departure of Elizabet Tursynbaeva. The problem here stems in that I feel Samo and other girls who defect to other federations will be in for a rude awakening when they don't get the inflated scores they were getting under the Russian flag, and that it may be harder for them to bridge the gap between them and skaters like Kaori and the Japanese who are so strong in their components.

Back when the season was in full swing, we saw how AOP athletes suffered from the underscoring in place of the Eteri girls getting inflated scores. We saw, in 22-23, Sasha's components drop and her STSQ and spins falling for lvl 4 to 3. Sofia Muravieva is a great example. Mura had the scores to best Kamila and Akatieva in the SP, but was rarely given them.

And so Plushenko made his ultimatum to the federation: Continue devaluing his athletes, continue to give them scores less than what they deserve, and they will jump ship, and compete for a federation that wants them. I found this interesting, because we all know Plushenko has quite the reputation for being loud mouthed, and a Patriot??? It made no sense that he would actively encourage his athletes to leave the Russian federation, and so I thought originally it was all hot air. This combined with that Samo's nationality switch had been whispered about BEFORE Plushenko even said anything.

And then Titova. She has no discernible ties to Armenia that I could find, so the switch seems odd. But again, she's not the most competitive, and in a world where the Russian juniors are arguably MORE competitive than their senior counterparts,,, its ruthless. If she wanted any chance at being competitive, she'd have to switch. The timing was smart, she's ineligible for seniors right now, but will be able to make a name for herself outside of Russia on the international stage having never competed outside RUS before, as an armenian skater, and can build up titles and respect in both division. Most people will be unaware she was even tied to RUSFED at any point. She has an abundance of time to wrack up titles and earn Armenia more placements.

My only concern is, is Russia prepared to lose more athletes? We've seen two in the space of 2 weeks defect, and all I can say is, will there be more? Will Plushenko encourage his juniors to look outside of Russia when they cannot compete with Eteri's students and Russian judging? And is Russia prepared to lose more and more athletes the longer they're banned from international sport?

Even from the perspective of Ice Dance, they had the departure of Smolkin/Davis to Georgia, using Eteri's Georgian Citizenship to justify Diana's switch in nationality, and her marriage to Gleb to cement it, and the pair of Karina Akopova/Nikita Rakmanin to Armenia.

In the world of Ice Dance, sure, this isn't a big loss, but Diana and Gleb abandoning Russia altogether and training in US/Canada could be foreshadowing, along with departures such as Samo and Titova, of the future of RUSFED and what this means for their development. The oversaturation and the blatant corruption is discouraging athletes, driving them away from not only the sport, but their country. And if the Federation doesn't make changes soon, they're in danger of seeing this worsen, and the potential for a collapse of this integral part of their sports economy, as more and more athletes decide to leave.

And the potential for success if they choose this route is already being proven. Sofya Samo had just within the last 2 weeks won the Summer Championships of Kazakhstan with a healthy 20 point margin between herself and second place Sofia Farafonova. And while Samo, on a clean slate will have to wait to build up her ranking to go to any major comps, she'll most likely be in the running for a national title by the end of 2024. Titova, likewise, will most likely be in the running for an Junior title in Armenia, and potentially a senior one if she is eligible.

Athletes are seeing the appeal in leaving for success in an easier climate, than sticking around to be mistreated by judges and beaten by 12 year olds with 3As and Quads. And RUSFED has tp recognise now, with so many departures over this last season, that they have a problem.

Now, do I necessarily think it's ethical to allow athletes to leave like this? If they have dual citizenship, sure. If not, and other countries are offering them citizenship to skate for them, then it becomes more tricky. I recognise the trouble that Ice dancers and Pairs face to find partners, but for singles, where the only benefit is to become more competitive, especially in a climate where the Russians are trying to outmaneuver a ban,,, especially when those athletes go on to still live and train in Russia and only visit the countries they compete in to well, compete, it becomes a lot harder to say whether its right or not. On one hand, those athletes have the ability to provide more opportunities for domestic athletes if they do well, but on the other hand, they're also taking opportunities from domestic athletes on principle, and for many domestic athletes who have worked hard, it will feel like a slap in the face to have a Russian athlete waltz in a snatch up all the titles they've worked for for years, under veryyy different conditions and with less resources.

And the ban, although many complain, must be upheld. (On that, though, I will talk more in depth in another post about my thoughts.)

All in all, the switches will be interesting to observe, and we'll see what happens as the season progresses, if any more athletes decide to make the decision to leave.

[maccreadysbaby]

how do I write a character with emetophobia?

Writing Characters with Emetophobia!

from your neighborhood emetophobia haver, aka me!

TW for emetophobia things under the cut (emetophobia is a fear of vomit or vomiting)

so you want your character to have some quirky fear, and the fear of puking is what you landed on! I’m here to tell you what it’s like to have severe emetophobia and what that entails for my life. all of these struggles and symptoms are personal and doesn’t apply to everyone with emetophobia. it is a very individual phobia, this is just how my body and mind reacts

Living with Emetophobia ↴

this post has no real structure, it’s more or less just things that have happened to me. i’ve had this phobia since my inception, so here’s a list of things your characters with emetophobia might do.

Avoiding foods or actions that (probably won’t, but could) trigger sickness: I was terrified to eat anything that contained dairy because — one singular time — I heard that milk makes you throw up if you have a fever and I swore it off from the time I was 8 until I was about 12. I was literally nine years old reading labels in the store for dairy and violently throwing it back on the shelves if it contained it. Not to mention my mother was lactose intolerant (Which I’m not) but seeing her fall at the hands of dairy didn’t make me feel any better about it. During this phase I only ate about three things and you literally couldn’t get me to eat anything else to the point where I was nearly anorexic. Once my friend told me she coughed so hard she threw up and I didn’t let myself cough when I was sick for a long time after. I also ran away from anyone who coughed near me. (I was such a psycho.) Now I will eat most foods given to me, but if something repeatedly offends my stomach, I usually just stop. I’m not so dramatic about it anymore lol. (I am much healthier now, too.)

Literally running away from sick people: I will never forget one time, my brother got sick. I wasn’t even in the same room as him. My mom yelled “maccreadysbaby, can you bring me some wipes?” I did. And as soon as I saw what happened I threw them at her, ran across the house, hid behind the couch, covered my ears and started crying. Another time, my mom informed me that my brother had thrown up while I was not home for a few days, and I avoided him like the plague. Literally like I would die if I touched him. My parents stopped telling me if my siblings got sick while I was away after that. When I was in gradeschool, a classmate got sick on a Tuesday and I was fine for the rest of the week. Then I puked on Saturday. For years afterwards, if I was ever around a sick person, I’d always count four days and if I didn’t throw up on day four, finally relax. (Again, I was such a psycho.) This instinct is still here as an adult. For example, my sister just recently thought she was gonna get carsick (while I was in the back with her) and let me tell you I was so squished up to my door I couldn’t breathe. I still sort of do the day counting thing if I’m completely honest, but I’m not so terrified and incessant about it.

Thinking that they’re sick all the time: This was a terribly big thing for me. For a span of 5ish years, at the same time I swore off dairy, I basically categorized myself as gonna throw up all of the time, even when I was perfectly freaking fine. I woke up, assumed I would puke that day, because why wouldn’t I, and triggered my anxiety. Which would actually trigger stomachaches and stuff. I would sit on the stairs and beg and cry until my parents let me stay home from school, and we almost had to go to court for the amount of school I was missing because I pulled this crap every day. This phase of my life only ended when my mom took me to the doctor (while I was literally fine) and made him tell me I was just anxious and not actually going to puke. (As you can see, I was a very fun child to raise.) I don’t behave this way anymore, but if my stomach does hurt for some reason, I immediately spiral into oh SHITE not HAPPENING territory.

Have debilitating anxiety: This is one of the things on this list that still happens to me regularly. If my stomach hurts in any capacity (even on my period) I am immediately thrusted into I’m gonna freaking puke mode. I get really cold, start sweating, start trembling (like, shake the whole couch trembling) and just sit there while my anxiety eats my brain. I can’t move because some part of me thinks moving an inch is going to make me puke. No matter how much I tell myself you’re fine, you’re not going to puke, this happens to you every day and you haven’t thrown up since you were twelve, you’re being so dramatic, it doesn’t stop. I just have to sit there and wallow in my pain and anxiety until my stomach stops hurting. Then I laugh at myself for being stupid and move on, even though I routinely worry about it coming back throughout the day. If it does I rinse and repeat. If I do puke (which I fortunately haven’t done since I was twelve) I can confidently say there’d be a lot of crying and minimal screaming about how I’m gonna die.

Here’s a recent (as of literally this morning) emetophobic thought pattern for you to analyze, to help you understand what your characters minds might be doing when they’re freaking out:

I received a text that my cousin, who I saw last night, was throwing up. I was still asleep but I woke up and checked my phone anyways. This was my exact thought process.

oh SHITE I was around him, wasn’t I? Well, I guess not a lot, he spoke to me a few times and I was near him at the campfire, but I maybe not enough to make me sick. But you know who was around him? My freaking sister. And if she gets sick there’s no hope for me. oh my GOD does my stomach hurt right now? I think it does. Wait, shut up, maccreadysbaby, you’re being stupid. Think about something else and go back to sleep. Why are you SHAKING stop being so pathetic. Your stomach totally hurts right now. You have plans today maccreadysbaby you can NOT get sick you can NOT be the reason your plans are canceled. I’m totally going to throw up today as life’s way of spiting me. Shut up and go to sleep, you weren’t even around him. But I WAS we ALL were, sitting across the table doesn’t count as being far away. Maybe he just got carsick or has acid reflux or something. Today is Saturday so if I make it to Wednesday I should be fine. But what if I ACTUALLY throw up I don’t even want to think about it oh my God what if I do? Okay, you’re fine, shut up and go back to sleep.

I went back to sleep (eventually) and woke up twice more to go through that entire process again before my alarm went off. It’s basically that on repeat every time I hear of a sick person or my stomach hurts. Fun times 😬👍.

[inairbinad]

Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson; Explicit; 5/? chapters; WIP

read chapter 5 now on ao3

It's been thirteen years since Steve has seen any monsters, but the past still haunts him...

A future fic where Steve gets a glimpse at an alternative universe where Barb survived, which causes a cascade of changes in their lives that somehow leads to him being practically married to Eddie Munson. By the time he's thrust back into his regular life, he's got some decisions to make about how he wants to live moving forward, especially when Eddie comes crashing back into his world.

excerpt from the latest chapter under the cut

“Steve,” Robin whined until his name was several syllables longer than it needed to be.

“Yes?” he said calmly. 

“How aware are you of the ginormous crush I used to have on Nancy?” Robin stared at the wall and mumbled the question more than anything. 

“Entirely aware, Robin,” Steve droned, and she snapped his head up to look at him.

“Really?” she asked, somehow genuinely surprised. 

“Yes, really,” Steve huffed. “I kind of know you pretty well by now, and how unhinged you get when you like a girl.”

Robin ignored that comment entirely and looked kind of worried when she asked, “Didn’t you hate me for it?”

Steve was so taken aback that she could think that, for a long minute he just stared at her blankly. 

“Are you kidding me?” he asked finally. “When have I ever hated you?”

“That time I promised I could cut your hair and I was wrong,” Robin supplied easily—and guiltily.

“Even then I didn’t hate you,” Steve laughed, though the memory still stung. It took weeks for him not to look like a mushroom. “I just wanted to strangle you.”

“But you wanted to marry her,” Robin said, redirecting them. 

“So?” Steve asked. He never understood the whole deal with people getting mad at their friends for having feelings for the same person they did. It wasn’t like you could control it. “Honestly, Rob, I wish I would’ve known you had a shot at the time. Would’ve saved us all a lot of trouble.”

Steve only heard his slip after he’d already blurted it out, but Robin didn’t catch it. Not right away, at least. She was too busy looking at him like he’d just said the nicest thing she’d ever heard. 

“Do you mean that?” she asked. 

“Of course,” Steve shrugged. Then it seemed to dawn on Robin what he’d just said.

“Wait, rewind,” she backtracked. “Why do you think I had a shot? She’s not even gay.”

“I thought…” he stammered, cycling through a series of answers in his head. “Why are you even bringing this up, then? If your crush isn’t back and you don’t think she’s into women?”

That seemed to work, because Robin deflated before she started rambling again. 

“I mean, we’ve been talking a lot lately. And sometimes I feel like she’s flirting…like when she came into the bar the other night?” Robin trailed off, and Steve nodded her on. “I was a bumbling wreck, honestly. I slept with Lizzy again just because she’s got dark hair and a vaguely sharp jaw and I thought it would help me get over Nancy—ugh. I don’t know! I think I’m just reading into things because I want her to be flirting.” 

“Robin—“ Steve tried to interject, having made up his mind already.

“But then I don’t want to you hurt you over it, either!” Robin exclaimed, ignoring him entirely. “You deserve better than me falling all over myself for your ex!”

“Robin,” Steve said again, more loudly this time, and she finally looked at him.

“What?” 

“Breathe, please,” Steve instructed her first. 

“Why?” she asked, and Steve had to hold back a snort. 

“Because I have a story for you,” he said. Then he took a deep breath and dove in. 

He started with the basics. El thought he was flailing and that Kali could help him, so on Saturday night he fell asleep as himself and on Sunday morning he woke up in a different world. He told her how disorienting it was, how he’d been gone for what felt like three weeks in the span of a night. Once he got past Robin’s shock that this was something Kali could do at all, and that she and El conspired to do it behind his back, Steve didn’t get very far in his explanation of his experience with Kali’s vision before she interjected with more questions.

“I was practically married to Eddie, and you were practically married to Chrissy—“ he was explaining. 

“Chrissy Cunningham?” Robin blurted, obviously surprised.

“Yep,” Steve said.

“Shit. She was hot,” Robin breathed out, and Steve could only shake his head at her. “Sorry. Was that insensitive?”

“Probably,” Steve laughed. “But when you’re right, you’re right.”

“Hey,” Robin pointed at him. “Don’t talk about my wife like that!”

Steve didn’t know why he waited to tell Robin at all. Talking to her was undoubtedly the most cathartic way he could work through everything in his head. 

“Sorry,” he smiled at her, but her laughter was already dying down.

“So what are you trying to tell me?” Robin asked. “That I can’t find the right relationship because my wife is dead?”

Steve did his best not to roll his eyes at her, considering she interrupted him before he could get to his actual point. “Funny story…”

“I fail to see how anything here could be taken as funny, Steve.”

Steve turned to face Robin fully, then made sure she looked at him before he kept talking. He wanted to see her reaction to this reveal, and hoped Nancy wouldn’t be mad at him for it.

“Nancy was with Barb,” Steve told her. “For going on sixteen years.”

Steve sat back and waited while Robin blinked at him, trying to process. He wasn’t sure how long it would take for her to absorb that the woman she’d been crushing on for years was probably gay, but so was her childhood best friend. Steve tapped his fingers against his knee while he watched Robin’s face go through a series of inscrutable expressions. 

“I need a drink,” Robin said finally, then got up and grabbed two beers from the fridge. She sat back down, passed one to Steve, and then went back to being silent as she sipped hers. “That would explain a lot,” she finally said.

“Tell me about it,” Steve agreed. 

“But how do we know she wasn’t just gay for Barb?” Robin asked, sounding so fragile that Steve wanted to wrap her up in a hug and protect her forever if he she’d let him. Instead he slipped his hand through Robin’s and looked her in the eye.

“Because she’s still single,” Steve reasoned, “and the only adult, stable relationship she’s ever had with a man has been with Eddie, her gay best friend.” 

“You realize you just described yourself,” Robin quirked a smile at him, “but with the genders flipped?”

“Huh?” Steve asked, lost now.

“The only stable relationship you’ve ever had with a woman is me,” Robin explained.

“Touché,” Steve chuckled. “But I’m pretty sure I’m right. Like you said, it would explain a lot.”

Robin went back to silently mulling things over, until apparently she was done with that and wanted to move on to the next portion of her reaction, which was apparently dumbstruck. “So you like, lived a whole other life in one night? With Eddie?”

“Three weeks of one, yeah,” Steve said, steeling himself. This was going to be the part that hurt to talk about, instead of the part that at least gave his best friend and favorite person in the world a little bit of hope.

“Holy shit,” Robin stared at him, then smacked his knee. “No wonder you’re a disaster. Tell me everything.”

[caracalled]

i have decided i am sick of endless scrolling and never feeling like i am in power of my own time, I barely even remember anything I did after sinking several hours into scrolling. I feel like my brain has this urge all the time to get the little content dopamine hits which mainly leads to mindless scrolling on youtube and tumblr.

So I am changing my environment and making some rules for myself regarding social media:

My laptop stays at my desk and I only use tumblr + youtube on my laptop (with time restrictions), so I don't accidentally rot in bed all day. I also hang out on forums there but I think that's fine bc of how slow paced they are.

because I am in a long distance relationship, calling with my partner is only allowed on my ipad in the evening (this will stop hopefully when he moves in with me in may)(yay :D)

if possible, I only take my flip phone outside and leave my smartphone at home. I urge my friends to call instead of texting.

I deleted my instagram + twitter accounts a long while ago but that counts too I think

no social media apps on my phone except for bereal and letterboxd

Less social media related but a huge change for me: I got a wristwatch recently and it's so nice to not have to get out my phone and accidentally see a message to tell the time!

There's also the issue of my attention span and passive media consumption in general so here are some things that are gonna change/have changed:

I don't have streaming, so for anything I can get at the library, I have to plan ahead and take a walk to my local library so I can watch it (so I get a nice little walk too! :D)

No Spotify either, so music I either get at second hand CD shops or on bandcamp and listen to them on my ipod (which doesn't have internet)

Youtube is a big problem, but I took a 1 week break recently which massively improved the situation. I might do that again and also I'll definitely put restrictions on youtube. I don't know if that will be enough so I think I have to find a better solution long term?

I usually check my phone first thing in the morning so from now on in the evening it goes on my dresser. Since I typically either scroll tumblr or read webcomics I will keep my ereader on my nightstand and read manga on that instead in the mornings.

Video games are always allowed. Mainly play short indie games anyway plus I think this consumption falls under active in my specific case, and overconsumption has not been a problem really.

I think this is still pretty rough around the edges. I need a better idea of how I want to handle uni work and productivity, and also taking rest times? I think being able to not really do anything at all is incredibly important for my mental wellbeing and I want to find ways to do that, but also I would like to stay on top of my work enough for it to be stress-free for me to engage with. I think starting some sort of exercise and making walks more frequent + longer so I actually walk more than my average 5k steps a day would be nice, plus those walks would give me some more space for my thoughts. And my uni offers meditation classes near me, so I will also see if that is interesting at all this semester. Let's see how this goes!

[yukigossip]

Whats happened since the funhouse break

~This is basically a what has happened since funhouses hiatus / breakup. if you clicked the COLORED parts its gifs to help explain or confirm the paragraph ~

PART 2

To try and keep her away from the party lifestyle, Jay took her to Korea on a business vacation which turned out to be more business then Vacation given he was busy the entire time.

So having made friends when Funhouse had a KPOP era, she spent some time with TOP (Jay was uncomfortable with her spending time with GOT7 tho- he was trying to get them to work for him) .

With TOP came Gdragon and soon the three started hanging out while Jay was busy trying sign got7.... Though the three of them became just her and Gd hanging out.

One night while getting ready to go to a 'friend' dinner with GD while Jay went out on a business dinner across town, she was on faceted with Katya who told her she looked happier talking about GD then she ever did with Jay.

Adi denied it - claiming she was 'so done' with bad boys like GD who didn't give a fuck and was a player.

But after several drinks at the restaurant, the two shared a chaste kiss. Then again the next day when they shared drinks at a private karaoke lounge, then again drinking at his house when they were watching a movie. They didn't go farther then a kiss but it didn't matter she was so wracked with guilt.

She took an early flight home a week early, claiming something with Maddy.

And during that week she drowned all her feelings in the many parties around LA.

Since they still ran in the same groups, Ed and Adi often ran into each other at these parties. and each time she would make a show of ignoring her until she couldn't because he wouldn't allow it.

And he knew how to get under her skin. And this night was no different. When he laughed at her for stringing J along.

"Cut him loose already" he said casually like he was bored by the whole thing. "You don't even like him, you're not even happy."

"I am happy and I am in love!" Adi shouted back at him, tipsy but not drunk and she knew what ed was doing. he was trying to get a reaction and he didn't stop there. It ended when Adi slapped him hard and got him kicked out of the club.

Downing his words out, that night she got higher than ever before, and drank more than she had before.

It was a blur when her, Kylie, Kendall, Jordyn and Vanessa got into the uber. and she doesn't really remember the uber ride, just that the music was loud and the girls were louder. she doesn't really remember the crash or what caused it, Adi can vaguely recall the seatbelt digging painfully into her skin as the car flipped .

But the one thing that is burned into her memory is the terrified look in the drivers eye when the gash in his head and neck wouldn't stop bleeding. She remembers being pulled from the smoking car with two fractured wrists and a sprained ankle all dulled from the copious amounts of drugs and liquor in her system. And she remembers the doctors talking to her days after when she couldn't sleep or eat no matter how hard she tried to force herself.

the accident went public and some people put the blame on her partying. Even when she was till in the hospital and she had no choice but to read all those comments that blamed her.

This fueled her depression and she felt she needed to get away from the accident as far as she could get. She put up her house for rent and moved to her house in Hawaii in about the span of a week.

She changed her phone number and ghosted almost everyone including Jay. Falling into a deep depression.

She tried to enter a rehab facility but couldn't handle it for more then a few weeks and now is mostly isolated to her home in Hawaii.

And while she eased on the drugs and the liquor. She still smokes to be able to eat and takes sleeping pills to be able to fall asleep without thinking about the driver.

[nissho-ku]

it's the first time in a long time he's been able to rest without jerking himself awake. he feels warm but exhausted, the week of running catching up to him until this moment. when he first stirs he hears something like water dripping nearby. he almost mistakes it for being home again under the care of his mother. he could hear her voice now fussing at him; ‘yo-chan you reckless boy... when you get sick you should learn how to take a rest.’ he misses her, muttering quietly in his sleep. “m-mom... mom...,” he mutters pitifully, his fever making him delirious.

when he rouses finally, he notices a presence coming in. he turns over to see the god from earlier bringing over a basin he assumes is holding cool water to aid his fever. he feels less on guard now, feeling safe for the first time in a long time. he still feels wildly out of balance, but exceptionally better than before. the ache from hardly no sleep and his fever still linger, but his wounds felt healed. isagi moves to sit up but being commanded to stay in bed wins over.

he doesn't think he can handle fighting with this guy again. he's much too tired.

yoichi sighs, warm cloth being replaced with a much cooler one on his heated face. “feels nice,” he moans softly, closing his eyes. he feels rested enough for the time being, even though he would much rather go back to sleep, but curiosity wins over. he blinks at the ceiling first, quiet as he lets the god — rin — speak first.

“my name's yoichi. yoichi isagi,” he says, blue eyes falling on the god, seeing him for the first time properly. “how'd i... get here? where am i?” he asks foremost. he can guess that he is in rin's home or something of the sort. from what his brain can put together, its big. he is a god, so it probably shouldn't be a surprise that his place is just and grandiose as his shrine was.

he frowns softly recollecting the week's events, which actually spanned the course of 2 weeks. yoichi sniffs softly, wondering where he should start from. “it's kinda... a long story. i'm a magic user from my village. some guy asked me to help him retrieve a stone, and... i swallowed it. and now i'm like this.” yoichi frowns to himself, contradicting himself by summing up his long story in just a few short sentences. “i've been on the run since that day, hunted by that guys goons til i ended up there. it's been a week... i haven't been home in that long. my mom and dad must be worried about me...”

yoichi turns to look at rin again, sighing softly. “iunno what else you wanna know. i can try to answer everything while i'm awake though.”

RIN DESPISES NUISANCES SINCE IN THE END HE WOULD RATHER DEAL WITH HIS NII-CHAN OR NAGI. he would rather handle his nii-chan's stare or nagi making a fuss about getting out of bed. instead he had been tasked to be more worldly, to make himself a known & reliable tool for the village. he was a sickle, reaping the benefits of their praise & dedication, but cutting off anything that might threaten the livelihood of the people. it was such a troublesome platter to continue holding. his empathy for people itself was at an all time low. however, he can mask it to keep up with the appearances that needed to happen.

❛ tch.❜ rin is truly one step from snatching isagi and kicking him out,but he knows how that would look. he runs a hand through his hair wanting to make sure he doesn't get too riled up by isagi's stubbornness.

with his thinning patience, he is happy to see isagi finally utter the phrase that he needs help. he wouldn't approach him otherwise despite his first thought. truth be told, it was watching a puppy finally submit to it's owner after being taught how to properly behave. the concern is his hurried steps as he catches him, a net of protection being casted upon the smaller boy. ❛ my domain is safe. there are no humans and you won't be bothered for what you are. ❜rin ignores the way the crowd seems to be reacting to all of this & he takes the time to pull isagi into his arms, pressed against him as he steps out of the shrine.

❛ i'll seek to it that he's taken care of. i don't sense he'd harm anyone, i think he just needed help but this idiot decided to stall until his condition got worse.❜ he explains to the elder chief who had been waiting by the door. ❛ all i ask is that help someone in need if they come into our shrine like this. sae and i would not be mad or think you've defiled out sacred ground. ❜ he gives the elder chief a reassuring smile before heading off to the disappear into the distance.

the conversation stretched into bouts of speculation on what could have been happening to the boy who was sleeping soundly in his guest room. rin promised himself he would excuse himself out of it once his nii-chan dismissed him. it was a strange circumstance considering the lack of magical control he had. he had been muttering a few strange things so he figured he would share with the class. he knows he won't fully be able to give his brother & nagi the full picture until he can talk to isagi, but he figures he could use the rest.

once they dismissed themselves from each other, rin makes his way back into the numerous guest rooms. rin settles himself on one of the chairs as he watches the fall of isagi's chest, he seemed more stable than when they first spoke. there is a cloth on his head since he seemed to be running a fever, his wounds were a thing of the past, as well as he tattered rags that he was sporting. there was no way he would allow isagi to walk around his palace in those state of clothes. rin takes the moment to grab the ice cold water basin on the beside table. he reaches for the cloth so that he could dip it again, the moisture sucked out of it from his exhaustion running it's course. he lets it settle for a second before picking it up & squeezing it.

when he heads back he realizes that isagi is awake with the gentle stirring. ❛ stay in bed, you're still running a fever. ❜ he settles the cloth on his forehead. ❛ feel free to ask questions if you like. all i ask is that you fill in the gaps of how you got to my shrine like that. my name is rin, as i've said. ❜ his mouth thins into a line as he realizes he's been talking too much. he hopes this stranger would speak more than him.

[pedgito]

our little secret ✧ ˚ · . eddie munson x fem!reader.

summary: tardy slips were becoming a regular occurrence and you couldn’t handle another day of boring detention, but eddie couldn’t resist the chance to worship you in every way possible. just be quick, no one had to know.

cw: 18+ content MDNI, oral (fem receiving), fem!reader, in public (sort of, it’s not obvious in the slightest), again v dirty, readers be warned.

word count: 1.7k. short but i wrote this in the span of a couple hours, pls forgive me.

request are always open!

alternate ao3 link

Eddie was the king of worship, that you knew for sure. He admired every point of your body, from your head to your toes, the curve of your breasts as they peeked out of your low cut tops, and how soft your legs felt wrapped around his hips when he was exploring your body—not that he didn’t already know it like the back of his hand. 

But sometimes, it proved to be a bit of an obstacle—a small one, but still. That tardy slips, the mandatory detentions, the stern talking to from none other than the principal of Hawkins High—they were starting to cause an issue. Eddie didn’t have much to worry about, no one expected any high marks or miracles from the freak of the senior class, but you—you had a reputation to uphold. Grades mattered, attendance was important, your friends would disintegrate at the very thought of you shaking up with Eddie Munson—not that you were, you totally weren’t—

“Any louder and someone’s gonna catch us, baby.” Eddie murmurs, mouthing deep, bruising kisses into the apex of your thigh. Higher, higher, you’d told him. The girls on the cheer squad were entirely too nosy and the last thing you needed was them pestering you about why you had so many ‘bruises’ in such an inconspicuous place. They could put two and two together—maybe, you weren’t too sure with some of them.

“Gotta hurry, Eddie.” You couldn’t stand the idea of being so fucked out that you could hear it in your voice, but here you were. “I can’t be late for my morning classes again.”

It was the third week, several consecutive days in a row, that you’d found yourself in the back of Eddie’s van in the corner of the school parking lot. Laid up, Eddie’s head nested perfectly between your legs, half of it disappearing under the cheer skirt you dawned on certain days, like today. Big game, super big game—you jump at the touch of Eddie’s tongue delving between your folds—what were you thinking about again?

“I’ll be quick. Promise.” That was the biggest lie you’d ever heard. Eddie liked taking his time with you and prided himself on it.

“God,” He breathes, the smoldering heat hitting your cunt in a way that has you clenching on nothing air, “haven’t touched yourself since we started this little arrangement, huh?” His voice is so fucking teasing, pompous—you can’t stand it.

“Don’t need to,” You admit, hand curling against the back of his head to push his face further against where you wanted him, “you do such a good job for me.”

He laughs at that, softly, licking teasingly at your clit. You were already soaked, Eddie just had that effect on you—which, to be fair, you’d never felt before. Sure, you’ve found other people that you’ve been attracted to but Eddie—he could simply exist and you’d fall privy to the idea of him. You were obsessed.

He’s feasting on you like he’s skipped morning breakfast and you were his first meal of the day—you definitely were, which reminded you that you needed to make sure he ate in the mornings, it wasn’t good to skip the most important meal of the day. His hands were gripping onto the inside of your thighs, rings leaving impressions that you would trace in the glorious aftermath of all of this. His fingers were turning white from the tightness of his grip, afraid that if he let go he’d lose you.

You gasped inwardly, flying up from where you had been laying on the floor of his van, one hand still wrapped in his mess of curls and the other planted firmly behind you. He’s suckling at your clit, alternating between using his tongue to prod inside you, before finally deciding to use his fingers. And fuck was that a feeling to experience. The slow drag of his tongue is a complete contrast of the way his fingers are curling inside of you, hitting all the right places.

“Eddie, please,” You gasp out, tightening the grasp you had on his head. He grunts at the feeling, quickening his pace and causing you to practically curl into yourself at the tension that’s building deep in the pit of your abdomen, “—your mouth feels so fucking good.”

“So fucking hard, baby.” He tells you, pulling back for air. “You have no idea how much I wanna fuck you right now.”

No time, you tell yourself. Keep it together.

“Fuck, maybe later—just, make me come, please.” You beg, moaning loud enough that if anyone was close enough, you’re sure they’d come knocking.

Was it a dying animal? A helpless person in need? No, it was just you—being eaten out by Eddie Munson in the back of his rundown van.

“Wouldn’t wanna make you late again, right?” Eddie teases, switching between sucking so gloriously on your clit and finding a way to still hold a coherent conversation with you. “Can’t have that.”

“No, we can’t.” You try to tell him firmly, but only manage to sound downright pathetic.

Eddie does seem to understand some urgency, knowing just how much trouble he’s gotten you into lately, so he’s relentless in the way he’s fingering your cunt, curling and scissors with just the right amount of pressure—he never forgets how loud you get, loves to pull the sounds right out of your chest.

You wanna scream, yell, but that would catch you up in a whirlwind of problems and Eddie realizes that too. He reaches for the black handkerchief stuffed in his back pocket, blindly stuffing it into your mouth, you assist him eagerly.

And thank god for it, the scream that leaves you the second he’s pulling you to a bright, powerful orgasm has you gripping the back of his head, watching as he dutifully licks away the sopping juices that had dripped down his chin, daring to dive back into your sensitive cunt to clean up the rest.

“Absolutely not.” You warn him, hand resting on his shoulder. Your chest was flushed a bright red, heaving with the deep breaths you were trying to take. “I’ve got class in ten minutes and I can’t handle another orgasm right now.”

You could, you really could.

“You’re right.” Eddie grunts, pushing himself up from where he’s settled in between your legs.

“Want me to help you out?” You offer sweetly, flashing your trademark smile his way. “I’ll be quick.”

“Yeah…about that,” Eddie begins, crotch finally coming into full view. Well, that was one way to cut your time down.

“Eddie!” You shout softly, amusement and disbelief crossing your features.

Eddie Munson came in his pants, untouched, worshiping you on the floor of his van. That was definitely something that happened.

“I swear I’m not like this.” He jokes, you believed him. “That was just—-a lot. You’re something else.”

Eddie doesn’t need to elaborate. You get it—there was no way you could explain him either, he was just too good to be true.

“I’ve got a change of clothes, at least.” He assures, pointing to a pile of suspicious looking laundry in the corner of the van. “It’s clean, I swear! Hey, don’t give me that look—“

You’re pulling him down in a bruising kiss, something you two didn’t do much of, but it wasn’t entirely foreign. Eddie’s lips were soft and plush, begging to be kissed. He yelps in response, but recovers quickly. He’s pushing back with gentle pressure, careful in how quickly he wants to ramp things up again, but then you’re pulling away.

“What was that for?” He asks softly, hand caressing the side of your face, the smallest hint of his fingertip tracing the curve behind your ear.

“The orgasm.” You say simply, reaching in for another quick peck. “And because I felt like it.”

He huffs gently, trying to hold in the small chuckle that wanted to escape. He’s staring at you, right at you—his eyes were a dark, dark abyss that you wanted to lose yourself in.

Eddie gives you a quick glance, admiring how disheveled you looked. You laugh softly, adjusting your skirt and pulling it down slightly. He pulls tenderly at the hair that had somehow managed to find its way under the strap of your top, pushing it behind your shoulder before reaching to brush a stray hair out of your face and behind your ear, lingering for far too long.

You didn’t know how much longer you could keep this up. The secret, the sneaking around, ignoring the fact that Eddie wasn’t just a random hookup anymore. The lump in your throat was an immediate indication to leave—only Eddie could manage to make you feel pure bliss and agony in the small span of a few minutes.

His thumb drags gingerly against the curve of your lip, you can’t help but reach for his wrist, sucking the digit into your mouth, the warm and wet feeling of your mouth had him cursing at you.

“Shit—such a good girl, yeah?” Your thighs clench at the tone in his voice—deep and yearning. You nod quietly, blush creeping up your cheeks as you reach forward to give him a quick peck on his cheek.

“Yeah and she needs to get to class. Right now.” You remind him, pulling away and peeking the door of his van open.

Coast looked clear, so you stepped out quickly, glancing back to see Eddie peeking out to shoot you a quick wink before disappearing back inside of his van.

“There you are!” Chrissy shouts, startling you so hard that you barely manage to hold back a scream. How the fuck was she so cheerful this early in the morning.

You steal a quick glance back toward Eddie’s van. No sight of him. The guilt of sneaking around with him is enough to eat you alive.

“Here I am!” You say back with too much forced cheerfulness, looping your arm around the arm that Chrissy had offered to you. The bell rings almost a half second after, triggering you both to hurry on to your morning class, leaving Eddie’s van far behind.

And when Eddie smirks at you from across the cafeteria at lunch, the butterflies in your stomach are going wild, causing you to look away, but even he can see the redness creeping up your neck, threatening to reveal just how much of an effect he had on you.

Maybe sneaking around wasn’t all that bad. You were his dirty little secret, no one had to know.

[sochawrites]

Insecurity of secure embrace

Michael Myers x reader

TW: weight gain, mentions of blood

I didn't have a specific version in mind.

Part of Silent Love collection

As the sun finally peeked through your curtains, you groaned in annoyance. You were awake long before this moment, but your eyes preferred the comfort of the darkness around.

No matter, there was no reason to stay in bed any longer. He wasn't here.

You swung your legs over the edge of your mattress, careful not to step on the empty take-out boxes, and walked to the window in hopes to see him in the backyard, staring back, but that was merely a wish, one that did not come true. You steadied yourself against the windowsill, knuckles turning white, fighting back the stinging tears. The shape of Haddonfield was on his killing spree for the last month, which, as devastating as it was for the city, was even more to you and your psyche. 

You were sharing your living space with Michael Myers for almost three years and you got used to his outings very quickly, it was like having a very outdoor-loving cat, but ever since you two showed the feelings you were holding towards each other, his tours were taking longer and longer. You didn't mind at first, knowing he probably needed his personal space and time to regain some sense of being in a romantic relationship, and after all, he always came back, relatively unharmed, and often would fall back to his usual schedule for some time, but every time the span turned over a week, something inside you always broke.

It started small, your mind creating more and more scenarios of his demise, or of him being taken away from you, simple nightmares you could cope with on your own, but they turned into dread after some time, leaving you severely anxious every time he left the sanctuary of your home for too long. You have tried many things to get rid of these thoughts, new hobbies, exercising, housework, but nothing worked and over time you decided to give up and settled on eating comfort food whenever you started to spiral again. 

Making your way to the kitchen, you stopped in front of a mirror. You looked like shit. Not that it surprised you too much, you looked the same yesterday, and the day before yesterday as well. A mess of hair, dark shadow circles under your bloodshot eyes, puffy nose and chapped, dry lips, but the biggest eyesore to you was the exposed plush skin of your midsection, uncovered by the rolled-up t-shirt, once nicely fitting, now starting to be a bit too tight to be comfortable. 

You hated it. You hated the fact that you let yourself go like this. You hated that you didn't stop with the emotional eating when you first noticed the result of your habits. You hated that he never seemed to notice. You hated that he never comforted you, that he wasn't there at the moment to comfort you, you hated that he wasn't there. You HATED him. No, that wasn't that, you LOVED him, this wasn't Michael's fault, it was your doing, you're the one to blame...

So there you stood, spiralling further and deeper with new hateful thoughts, eyes burning a hole in the reflection of your hand slowly running over the soft, dough-like flesh of your gut, tears overflowing and silently falling down your cheeks.

So there he stood, watching you from between the door frame, head tilting in curiosity, but you were too occupied with your reflection to notice. It didn't take Michael long to figure out what was on your mind. It wasn't like he never noticed the change in your body, one could say he even noticed sooner than you, he might have found it somewhat cute somewhere deep within his mind, but if anything, he just did not care for it, and he assumed you didn't either. Looks like he was wrong for once.

In an attempt to turn your attention away, Michael knocked with his still bloody knife on the metal rim, almost chuckling as you jerked at the sound. You turned around, wide-eyed from the surprise of seeing him. "Micheal! Oh my- you scared me! How long have you been standing here?" you asked, not exactly expecting an answer from the head-tilting man, "Come, you must be hungry, I was about to make breakfast.". Putting on a smile for him and wiping your tears, you walked towards the door he was standing in.

Keep it cool, it's not his problem, it's not like he would care anyway. 

You expected him to move out of the way, but he instead closed the distance between your bodies, catching your shoulders and keeping you still, even though your body jumped at the sudden touch. You looked up at the shape, his head now tilted to the other side. Did he truly want to know? He had never done this before.

"Michael, I-... Just... let's just eat first, please, I- I will tell you, but... later" you stumbled over your words, emotion set in overload. He briefly squeezed your shoulders before you pulled away. "I missed you..." you whispered as you passed around the man. 

You opted for making scrambled eggs. They were quick and easy, not to mention one of the very few things that were in your freezer. Michael, of course, was soon hot on your trail, stepping aside only to discard his knife in the sink. The smell of dry blood started to get a bit overwhelming for your taste, "Michael, could you go and change into something less bloody? I'll wait for you at-", there was no need to continue the sentence, he was already on his way upstairs. It was rare for him to do as you told him, usually taking quite some persuading to do something he didn't want to. Maybe you could get him to shower too. He needed a shower... You both needed a shower.

Michael was back way sooner than you anticipated, standing so close behind you that he practically trapped you in between him and the stove. Yet, he tried to move even closer, leaving no space for you to step aside, his body heat intoxicating every inch of your being. You couldn't help but lean on him.

He took that as an invitation, a confirmation, that he could indeed get a little intimate with you. At least in his own way. His head laying on top of yours, unmoving and steadily breathing. The smell of latex enveloped you, it was so familiar, so comforting in a strange way. 

You raised your hand out of reflex to the back of his head, massaging the spot under the mask. That was something he was waiting for, you easing up enough to leave space for his little plan to work.

He sneaked his hands around your waist, careful not to touch and alert you of his action. Then, he slowly tightened his hold. Your whole body froze once you realized what was going on. "Michael..." was all you could muster out and he still shushed you with a grunt. 

You decided to pull the pan from the heat. This was going to take a long time.

So there the two of you stood, both perfectly still. You, hungrily watching your breakfast getting cold, and him, calculating the right moment to advance to the next phase of his scheme. 

Michael moved his head a bit, his masked nose now buried in your hair. He couldn't smell a thing except for the odour of latex, he just wished he brought you some sort of ease with it. You pushed your head a little more back to try and erase the space between. A good sign for Michael, now the last part.

Michael's arms wrapped around you, hands resting on the opposite sides of your waist. Though you were a bit squished, it felt... nice, safe, even. That is until the feeling of a soft lingering touch moving up and down on your doughty flesh, sometimes sliding under your t-shirt too. Your breath hitched at the contact, you wanted to jump out of your skin, but Michael hold you tight.

Any attempt at speaking was thereafter shushed with deep growls, you had to calm down once more. It wasn't that bad, yet, it still felt weird, as if the skin around these places didn't belong to you, but, you could get used to it.

Sighting in defeat, you loosened a bit more in his hold, letting Micheal know he could take full control as if he hadn't had it already. And that's when you heard it. Or at least you thought you did. The faintest little whisper, its voice strained and rough. 

"Pretty."

[kaitsawamura]

would you like to stay forever?

SUMMARY⎮   Sparring with Pro Hero Kirishima Eijiro in his private gym at his home doesn't seem like a bad idea if you don't count the fact that you really, really like him.

STATS⎮ minors do not interact, 18+ ⎮  Rating: M (for mature)  ⎮  WC: 5525  ⎮   Pairing: Pro Hero Kirishima Eijiro x Fem!Reader  ⎮   Tags: Aged Up Character(s), Friends to Lovers, Sparring, Smut, Fluff, Age/Experience Gap (if you really squint)  ⎮  AO3

NOTES⎮  Thanks to @spacelabrathor​ for listening to me scream about this and to @some-kindofgnome​ for fueling my Kiri fever dreams.  Yes, that title is based on a Mulan quote. This whole fic was based on THIS POST and Kirishima seemed like the perfect character for this pwp.  Hope y'all enjoy!  (Also please for the love of God, click on the banner to see in HD if you’re on mobile, it looks so much better lol)

It was Saturday and even though you’re on your way to becoming a Pro Hero, you can think of several things you’d rather be doing with your one day off than going to Kirishima Eijiro’s house to spar.  But here you are pulling into his driveway, going over combat moves in your head as if your life depended on it.  They weren’t really serving their purpose which was to distract yourself.  Kiri had offered up his personal gym, encouraged you to stop by with one hand in his pocket and the other rubbing the back of his neck as if he was nervous.  

A couple of his friends had already taken him up on the offer.  You were the only one he’d offered who hadn’t come over yet.  He had texted you a couple of weeks later saying he was starting to take it personally…  and then immediately texted with a laughing emoji just to clarify he was only giving you a hard time.  It brings a smile to your face now as you remember it.  Yesterday he had also clarified it would just be the two of you if you were self-conscious sparring in front of other people.  You’d have the whole place to yourselves.  Like that should mean something.  Which it did.  It does , you realize with butterflies growing in your stomach.  Kiri doesn’t need to know that though.

The two of you had been toeing around something since you had been hired at Fatgum’s Agency a year ago.  Neither of you had made a move.  Kirishima, the Red Riot, was a big Pro Hero and while you took pride in your quirk, it didn’t hold a coin to some of the others you’d come in contact with.  It had surprised you when Toyomitsu had brought you on.  But he had mumbled something about “liking your spunk” and that he thought a teleportation quirk would be a useful one to add to his agency.  The first day you had shown up, Kiri had immediately caught your eye.  Not for the obvious reasons.  Obvious reasons being the fact that he was climbing the Pro Hero charts or the fact that he had a dynamically interesting quirk or that at twenty-five he was already built like a brickhouse. 

Those were all valid reasons, yes, but what had pulled you in was his smile and his genuine interest in you outside of your quirk.  But he was just like that you had quickly discovered.  He knew everyone’s coffee order and what they liked for lunch.  He knew when to push and when to back off.  He knew when to talk and when to listen , knew when he still had a lesson to learn.  The kids flocked to him.  Even now you’re still entirely convinced that’s actually his quirk, getting people to like him.  It’s not a difficult thing to do though.

Your brain stutters back to the present when a text notification pings from your cell phone as you sit in Kiri’s driveway, picking at non-existent lint on your gym shorts.  The cute ones you’re still convincing yourself were your only clean pair and that’s the only reason you wore them.

KIRI : i saw u pull up, u gonna come in or what 😂

Had he been waiting for you to get there?  You tapped out a quick response, one that hid the little flip in your stomach at the thought: creeper, you were watching for me lmao

Response bubbles immediately flash on your phone screen but you’re angling out of your car and shutting the door before he can reply.

Somehow, this house fits Kiri perfectly.  It isn’t big.  You had seen pictures of other top-ranking Pros’ houses.  Enji Todoroki’s house, for example, was fucking ridiculous.  But even without a massive floor plan, Kiri’s house is nicer than any you’d been in for some time.  Clean, straight lines and lots of windows.  In fact, you can see straight through the floor-to-ceiling windows out to his backyard when you reach the front door.  Is that a pool ?  Kiri had tons of fun showing pictures at the agency; it was a well-deserved investment for his already multiple years of service as a Pro.  The pictures hadn’t done the place justice though.

Kiri comes to the door, throwing it wide open with a huge grin that shows off his sharp teeth.  You ignore the way your mouth goes dry as he drags you in, babbling on like an excited little kid at you actually coming.

“I really thought you were gonna back out!  I mean, that would have been fine, of course.  I just can’t see the point of having the whole place to myself all the time.”  He’s irresistibly cute, walking around showing you the living room and the kitchen and pointing out to the backyard where, yes, there is indeed a pool.  “You can come over any time and use that too if you want!”  You thank him, warmth pooling in your stomach at how incredibly nice he is.

“Uh, we should probably get in the gym.  I have… stuff to do later,” you finish lamely.  You don’t have anything to do later but very quickly you’re realizing how far out of your depth you are here.  The familiar beginnings of the head over heels fall is washing over you in steady waves.  But you’re coworkers and the thought of coming to work every day and having to see his adorable face and not doing anything about it is almost making you nauseous.

“Oh, yeah, it’s just down the hallway,” he rumbles, leading the way and you follow trying and failing miserably to calm the nerves flashing through your veins.  You’re here alone with Kiri , the man you’ve been crushing on since you’d started working with him a year ago.  And now your stupid brain isn’t just thinking about what it would feel like to run your tongue along his teeth or how his hands would feel between your legs.  No, your stupid brain is thinking about what Kiri looks like when he first opens his eyes in the morning.

Your one-track mind is not getting any help, especially when Kiri walks through the doorway of the gym addition and immediately proceeds to pull his shirt up and over his shoulders and tosses it to the side.  Shit.  His back muscles ripple with the movement and when he turns to face you, it’s heart-wrenchingly obvious that he has no idea the effect he’s having on you.  He has to know .  Doesn’t he?  From your end, it seems wildly obvious that someone as good-looking as him should know .  

You glance around, eternally grateful for the fact that the gym is also attractive.  Floor to ceiling windows span two of the walls here as well and there’s a large set of French doors leading out to the yard.  You find yourself actually in awe when you get a better look at the landscaping.  It’s so green .  There’s a small patch of lawn but the rest is just artfully arranged native flora and fauna.  Violets, tulips.  Huge hosta plants.  And cherry trees heavy with their signature sakura blossoms.  

“Kiri, it’s beautiful!”  He comes to stand beside you, looking out the French doors as well.

“You like it?  I guess it is pretty nice, huh?”  You glance up at him, your chest expanding on a lurch looking at his smile.  You’d never noticed before but he has a light dusting of freckles across his nose.

“Yeah, really nice.”  You look out again, letting the silence grow until it feels like the most comfortable thing in the world.  After what seems like an eternity Kiri clears his throat, rocking back on the balls of his feet.  “What are you thinking for today?”  The question leaves your lips and you’re immediately regretting it; your stomach flips again when Kiri looks at you like you’re prey.

“Close combat, hand-to-hand combat.  You did mention a while ago you wanted to strengthen that, right?”  You throw your head back, rolling your eyes, and groan.  The two of you make your way to the center of the mat.

“Yeah, I mean, I’d be scared to take me on too,” Kiri says, large hands on even larger hips.   He isn’t as tall as some of the other heroes at six foot three inches but he’s wide , thick.  You know for a fact you couldn’t wrap your arms around his waist and have your hands meet.  He’s wearing the biggest shit-eating grin you’ve ever seen.  The sharpened points of his canines are out and on prominent display.   Famous last words you think as a snarl erupts on your face.

“I’m not scared , Kiri.  I just don’t want to wear you out .  You’re a Pro Hero.  You’re on the job a lot more than I am.  Plus, you’re getting kind of old.  Is that a little gray I see coming in?”  Kiri bares his teeth even more but it’s not lost on you that he quickly reaches up to rake his fingers through his hair.  There isn’t any gray, obviously , but the thought has Red Riot distracted.  Distracted enough that when you plant your feet and your fist connects with his face, your knuckles hit skin and not the reinforced rock of his quirk.

“ Shit.”  Kiri takes a step back, reaching up to cradle his jaw.  His tongue swipes out to lick at the blood on his bottom lip.  His vermillion eyes find yours and if you didn’t work with him on a regular basis, you would have felt fear at this moment.  You know he wouldn’t hurt you but even now, a thrill races through your veins like electricity.  He looks as if he’s going to devour you.  You take your own step back, readying your quirk, reaching out to it as your fists hold their position in front of your body.  A dark chuckle spills from his chest as Kiri calls on his own quirk.

Now it was your turn to be distracted; you had always been fascinated by Kiri’s quirk, the way his body looked when it hardened up.  The ripples of muscle still visible under the toughened skin.  The divots and ridges and how they mapped their way across his shoulders and chest and abdomen.  You knew how it felt to the touch in fake combat.  The Fatgum heroes all took pride in maintaining a healthy routine; sparring was a common workout that was previously done at a local public gym.  You wonder absently what it would feel like to touch him slow and at the moment.  When you could give extra attention with extra time. 

Kiri closes the space between the two of you at the moment your mind strays and you barely are able to teleport out of the way to avoid him crashing into you.  You try to take a swipe at him as you materialize from in front of him to behind but this time he’s ready for you and he’s using his quirk.  Instead of moving out of the way, he plants his feet and allows your punch to hit.  Pain radiates up through your fingers and wrist.  It always irritated you that you had to prepare yourself to strike Kiri when he was using his quirk.  Otherwise, you’d be in for a whole lot of hurt every time you landed a punch.

Teleportation is a pretty handy quirk.  It gives you a pretty good advantage the more you work on your close combat skills.  The trick with Kiri was to keep going at him until he ran out of energy.  You hadn’t gotten to that point yet; your quirk had its limits as well.  You were only two years out of UA, Kiri was out by seven.  His strength was already fairly unmatched; sparring with him was always good practice.  You relish the thought of the day you can win a sparring session without tapping out.  It surges through you like pure energy.  

You teleport to stand in front of him again, shifting your weight into your hips and up through your right hook.  This time your fist connects with Kiri’s side and he lets out a small grunt.  Your fingers don’t hurt so bad this time and by the time Kiri is retaliating, you jump back a few feet.  He hmms, a sound that reverberates from his chest.

“That’s all well and good but how do you expect to do anything if you jump that far away?”  He lunges forward at a running start, leaping at the last second, sending his gloved fist into your stomach.  You were fast, but still not always fast enough.  You double over, the air rushing from your lungs and your pre-workout protein smoothie threatening to exit back the way it went in.  Sweat is already beading on your brow and sliding under your tank top.  You take a few breaths through your nose when an idea pops into your head; you stay bent over.  “Hey, I didn’t hit you that hard.  You good?”  

Kiri comes to stand in front of you, leaving him vulnerable.  He can’t see your smirk until it’s too late.  You wail on him, using some of the basic combos he’s taught you before today.  Satisfaction rolls through you when he actually takes a step back.  But then he puts his arms up in front of him, clenching his abdomen and bending inward to protect his core.  He drops just a fraction and before you realize what’s happening, he’s swiping his leg out to push through yours.  You watch in slow motion as you see his laughing face then the ceiling of the gym as you flip and land on your back.

If you thought you were out of breath before…  “Fuuu-.”  It’s a wheeze that feels like it’s ripping your chest open.  You’re seeing stars.  Kiri stands over you, hands on his hips again.  You stare at his face; the hero has his hair pulled back into a bun.  You snort, rolling your eyes.  Why does he still look so fucking good?  The sweat has caused some of the pieces falling out of his hair tie to curl.  His hair has curl to it?  You’ve never noticed before, considering he always gels it into spikes.  You like the curl.  “Are you--are you gonna help me up, or what?”  It was still painful to talk.

Kiri tilts his head to the side, just slightly, and crosses his arms.  “I’m thinking not.  Last time I let down my guard you got those good combos in.”  You stare in stunned silence, sitting up so you’re supported by your elbows.  Kiri shifts slightly and if you didn’t know better, you’d say he’s backing up to… get a better view.   

“Is that any way to treat your student,  Red Riot?”  You know you get under his skin when he clicks his tongue against his teeth and holds out a hand with a begrudging eye roll.  He pulls you up with ease, quickly enough that you almost lose your balance, swaying into his space.  You look up, eyes moving back and forth between his.  

He draws in a breath and drags his bottom lip between his teeth.  “First of all,” he says as he places his hands on your upper arms, “I’m not your teacher.  I’m not that much older than you.  Secondly,” he mutters as he tucks a stray lock of hair behind your ear, “our relationship isn’t that formal is it?”  He’s so fucking close.  This is getting dangerous.  Dangerous because Kiri is within kissing distance.  Dangerous because this gentle side of him is making you lose more breath than falling on your ass.  Dangerous because the thought of Kiri taking you on the floor right now is almost too much to bear.  

So you fall back on what you’re here to do.  Fight.  You flash him a wicked smile before rallying your quirk and teleporting a few feet away.  His hand is still raised in mid-air and when his head whips to look in your direction, his crimson eyes are narrowed and his nostrils are flared.  He laughs and rolls his neck, dancing on his toes.

“Okay.  I see.  I’m not gonna go easy on you, you know?”  You snort and put your fists up in front of you again.

“As if you were going easy on me before, Kiri.  Bring it on.”  He smiles, the sharp points of his teeth enough to make your thoughts swerve again before you bring them under control.  “Bring it on,” you whisper more to yourself as you brace for the fight.

Two hours later, you feel the strain in your muscles.  Your quirk is running low on reserves and you know you won’t be able to use it much more.  Kiri looks like he hasn’t wasted a breath but you can see he’s getting tired in the way his feet don’t move as sharply.  And if the length of time he’s using his quirk is any indication to his state of mind, you know the two of you will be calling it a day soon.  But you’re also both stubborn.  And you’re dying to get one more good move in on him.

The cockiness the two of you had at the beginning of the sparring session hasn’t gone away but has burned hot into determination.  No more smiles, only clear-headed concentration.  The two of you are an arm's length from each other, throwing various punches and switching quickly between using your quirks and not.  You’re breathing hard, sweat gathering at your brow as you throw another right hook that Kiri easily blocks.

“Get out of your head.  You can be too predictable sometimes.”  He doesn’t mean for it to come across as rude but the words strike a match to a guttering fire.  You bare your own teeth at Kiri even though they aren’t sharp and probably don’t look nearly as threatening but it helps you feel powerful nonetheless.  You drop without a second thought, lowering to your palms and sweeping your leg out in front of you in a wide arc.  A grin spreads across your face when your calf meets Kiri’s ankle.  He’s too physically dense for this move to work if he had seen it coming.  But he doesn’t.  And his solid 220 pounds of muscle falls hard.  

You allow yourself the satisfaction of the moment for only a split second; Kiri’s recovery time is much shorter than yours so it isn’t long before he’s scrambling forward.  He goes straight for your wrists to subdue you but with a smirk, you realize in his haste he’s put himself in the perfect position for you to possibly gain the upper hand.  You scoot up away from him just enough to drag his arm forward and swing your legs around his neck.  Then you elevate your hips and lock your core.

It’s over from there as you squeeze with every last ounce of strength left in your body.  It doesn’t take long for him to tap out.  You release as soon as you feel his loose hand tap your arm; he collapses over you and you’re too tired to move away or push him off.  Now his breathing is rough and you feel a surge of pride.  You reach up and place your hand on his head where his bun has come undone; he’s so heavy but it doesn’t feel bad.  In fact, the feel of Kirishima resting his head and upper chest on your stomach is feeling nothing short of good .  He’s still between your legs and suddenly the air is crackling with a new kind of energy when you gently comb your fingers through his hair.

He rises up, his hands on either side of you.  His hips rest between your legs; the mingled heat radiating from both of you is almost more than you can take but there is no way you’re going to move anywhere.  He leans forward, so close you can see the flecks of burnt orange in his eyes.  If you moved forward just a little, you could close that space between you.  He leans down more, his mouth right next to the shell of your ear.

“Maybe not always predictable.  You did good today.  Probably some of the best fighting I’ve seen from you so far.  Keep it up.”  He grunts, a shift of his hips allowing the curve of his cock to brush against your clothed sex through his gym shorts.  He stiffens in what you think might be embarrassment.  “Shit, sorry, let me just, uh--”  The stuttering mess he becomes right before your eyes makes something lurch in your chest; you reach for his face without thinking.

“Kiri,” you whisper, rolling your own hips against his.  His cheeks are burning a shade of red almost as vibrant as his hair.  You bring up your other hand, holding his face between them and bringing him down to settle over you once more.  Your lips meet his; he seems to war with himself for just a moment.  A suspended second in time.  But then he gives in, slipping his tongue against yours in a delicious sliding vision of what’s coming.

He reaches between you to slip his hand under your tank top; his hand is big and nearly encompasses your side.  But it’s warm and gentle.  Gentle.  Who would have guessed that Red Riot could be so fucking gentle?  But he is and when his hand moves lower to slide below the hem of your shorts, you give yourself to him with no reservations.  His middle finger passes through the mess of your sex; a hissed breath rattles through his chest as your back arches on a ragged groan.

“ Shit.  You’re so wet .”  He slides his finger back and forth, gathering your slick on the thick digit.  He takes his hand away and you mewl.  “Can I?”  He asks breathlessly as he hooks his hands on the hem of your shorts.  You nod, eyes half-lidded.  He pulls them down along with your underwear and the way he looks at you, at what’s between your legs, you don’t even have the wherewithal to feel self-conscious.  Adoration.  It’s the only word you can think of and it makes you wonder if you’d made a mistake waiting so long.

He’s on his knees when he takes your legs and drapes them on either side of his hips; this time he doesn’t hesitate in slipping his finger into your cunt.  You nearly see stars just from that and if one finger is any indication, you’re in for it.  Slowly, he adds another, his hand pumping into you in a steady rhythm.  You’re grabbing for the ground, grabbing for him as a strangled noise pushes from your throat.  He reaches out with his other hand to splay it across your sternum and it’s the only thing anchoring you as he adds the third finger before scooting down to put his mouth on your clit.

“ Kiri,” you keen, shoving your hips into his touch, frantically scrabbling for his wrist that’s on your chest just to have something to hold on to.  He’s done this before, he’s had to.  He’s too good.  Too fucking good.  Already there’s coiling in your gut as incomprehensible words tumble from your mouth.  “Shit.  Shit.  Kiri I’m--I’m gonna--”  He rumbles approvingly against your clit; the vibrations send you closer and closer to the edge and when it crests, your back arches near pain as you cry out, your voice echoing in the gym.  It’s deep, roaring through all of your limbs but  Kiri keeps going, fingers still pumping, tongue still swirling around your sensitive nub.

Another orgasm breaks over you sharp and quick and the overstimulation has your legs quaking as your arousal gushes over Kiri’s hand and tongue.  But then he’s moving again, and you’re blearily aware that he’s shoving his own shorts and boxers past his hips to free his cock.  You stare as it bounces back to sit near the planes of his stomach; it’s already leaking steadily with precum.  Kiri looks back at you and when your eyes meet, you dart your tongue out between your lips to wet them.  Another time, maybe.  

Kiri leans forward to lift you up and the closer you get you can barely see any red in his eyes; his pupils are blown, his nostrils flared as he lifts you like you weigh nothing .  He could snap you like a twig.  But he won’t.  You know without a doubt this is the safest you’ve ever felt, even as he lowers you slowly over his cock and it does feel like you’re being split .

“ Fuuuck…”  You wrap your legs around him, your mouth dropped open, your hands gripping his shoulders.  You try not to dig your nails in but it’s almost impossible with how you’re being filled.  You knew Kiri was big but this was almost too much.  His forehead drops to yours as he pants.  But he’s not moving, won’t move until you tell him to.  It makes your heart ache and your cunt floods, drunk on the affection thrumming through your veins.  You roll your hips experimentally and the friction is bliss.  “Oh fuck, ohfuck.”  You move again, pushing yourself up and back down, listening to the hitch in his breathing.  “ Kiri, please, ” you whisper.  Those words… they’re enough.

Kirishima grips you by the hips, his fingers splayed and digging into the flesh; it’ll leave bruises and the knowledge cracks through you like electricity.  Let him leave marks.  Let him leave them everywhere.  He’s moving you up and down his cock, grunting, mumbling.  “Tell me, Kiri, tell me.”  His eyes meet yours again and his own mouth drops open.

“Fuck, you’re so good.  S’ tight.  Jesus, I-- ” Kiri moves his hands from your hips to support you as he lays you down on the floor of the gym.  The idea should be questionable but it’s not, it’s fucking not and you can’t concentrate on any other thoughts when Kiri grabs your wrists and pins them gently above your head with one hand while the other comes back to your hip.  He thrusts into you at a brutal pace but… it feels like home and you think in that moment as your cunt begins to seize around his cock that you would give up forever to continue touching him.

“Yes, Kiri, yes.  Right there, right--shit yesyes yes. ”  He pistons up, the veins of his cock rubbing just right and when he releases the grip on your hands, they’re moving to wrap around him on instinct.  He’s planting kisses along your jaw, mouthing up to your lips and back down to graze his teeth over your pulse point.  “Do it, fuckin’ do it, let them know ‘m yours, ” you slur and when he bites down you crash over the edge on a groan that’s really more of a scream.  Everything goes black but you're cradling him to you as his movements become more erratic.  The snapping of his hips is getting sloppier by the second and a steady growl punches from his lungs with each breath.  “Cum, Kirishima, cum inside me.”

He’s never heard those words before and it lights a fire in his veins.  His head is buzzing and then he can’t hear anything as his cock releases and he’s spurting searing hot ropes of cum into your cunt.  He goes until you’ve milked every last drop from him and he’d be lying if he said his world didn't suddenly feel whole.  Finally, his body settles and his chest drops to yours.  Everything slowly bleeds back into focus and somehow, everything seems more colorful than it did moments before.  You’re still clinging to him.

“Kiri.  Kiri, babe, I can’t breathe,” you say and he slowly rises, taking in your blissed-out expression.  Your eyes can barely stay open, your cheeks are flushed.  He backs up to see his handiwork on display, hyper-focused on the trail of the mingling cum dripping from the mess of your sex.  But you’re smiling.  Lazy and tired, completely at ease.  “Wanna take a shower?”  When you nod he doesn’t hesitate in standing to kick his underwear and shorts the rest of the way off his legs and then he’s grabbing you, scooping you into his arms and against his chest.  He pads out of the gym and across the hall to his bathroom where he deposits you on your feet, only after he’s sure you can stand and only long enough to turn the shower head-on.

He puts his hand under the water, waiting for it to get warm.  Steam billows from behind the glass door when he’s turning back to you to remove your tank top and your sports bra.  Thank god you chose the front-closure one today; you didn’t think either one of you wanted to struggle to get one up over your head right now.  When your breasts spill out of the high-impact fabric, you notice with tender amusement that his cock is half-hard again.  His eyes go dark again and he leans in for a kiss.  But it's slow and sweet. 

"You're so fuckin' beautiful," he whispers.  He ignores his arousal, ushering you into the stream of water.  Your care is the only thing that matters to him right now.  The heat slides across your body, and when Kirishima steps up behind you and begins soaping up your shoulders, it feels like heaven .

You take turns washing each other until you’re both blissed out in a different kind of way and the only thing either one of you can think about is sleep.  But the afterglow is fading and doubt is creeping in.  When you step out of the water, you stand awkwardly as Kiri hands you a towel.  “You okay?”  He’s actually concerned and you can’t put your finger on why you’re so fucking grateful for it.

“Yea, just tired.  I should, uh, probably get going.”  Kiri freezes and you think you’ve said something wrong, already crossed a line.  Your brain is like a broken record as the stomach-curdling image of having to see him at the agency flashes across your eyes in vivid detail.  But then he’s stepping into your space and pulling you in for a hug.  A hug.

“Don’t go,” he whispers into the crown of your head and it has you smiling like an idiot against his chest.  His skin smells clean and warm with a hint of spice.  You bury your face further in as you nod against him.  Then he’s leading you to his room, to the king-sized bed.  He peels back the comforter and the white sheets and pulls you in beside him.  Your back is against him and he hooks his foot around your ankles, bringing you even closer.  

He doesn’t say anything more, just lets out a huge sigh as he wraps his arm around you.  The last thing you notice before your eyes flutter shut is how your heartbeats are thumping at the same steady rhythm.  

Late afternoon sunlight slants in Kirishima’s bedroom window, creating interesting patterns across his blanket.  It’s pushed towards the end of the bed, your legs intertwined and tangled in the sheets.  He’s still dozing, his breathing not quite that of someone sleeping but not of a person fully awake.  You reach out to cup his cheek, stroke above his eyebrows, caress his lips with your thumb.  A contented sigh leaves his chest as he grabs your hand and kisses your wrist.  His eyes are open now and he watches you.  You smile at him, snuggling closer, not wanting the moment to end.

“Hey,” he says quietly, suddenly serious.  “I just want you to know, I don’t do this all the time.  I mean, I’ve been with other people before but I don’t…  I don’t really hook up .”  Things start clicking into place as you realize what he’s trying to get across.  He just fucked you stupid in his personal gym and somehow he looks bashful.  And because you love it, you’re not going to help him along.  You just watch, biting your lip to keep from giggling.  “I just.  I guess what I’m trying to say is I like you.  I’ve liked you for a long time.  And normally I would have wined and dined you first but...  Well.  Here we are.  Would you like to stay for dinner?”

That’s the last straw; your laughter comes bubbling out of you and Kiri is leaning back to look at you with a quizzical expression on his face.  “Is something funny?”  That just makes you laugh a little harder but the confused look he’s wearing has you leaning in to press your lips against his.

“I’ve liked you from the first day I met you, Kiri.  I’ll one-up your offer and tell you that I might like to stay forever.”  A grin rips across his face and your heart blooms with warmth and affection.  The world seems full of possibilities but none of them matter except for the possibility laying right in front of you.

[colinrobinsonn]

ahhh I never write fics but here’s nandor x guillermo after this week’s ep 🥺

- x -

Guillermo sat on the front steps of the house after driving back from dropping off the Baron, the Sire, and the hellhound at their new home in New Jersey. It had been a long, long night and he should really be heading to bed but he just needed a few moments of quiet.

The night air was sharp and the dark sky had only a few clouds overhead. Today had been successful, yes, but also very scary. He wasn’t thinking about facing the Sire, or the Baron again (although it had terrified him). No, he could not let go of the horrible feeling he’d been having all day that he may lose his entire family.

He heard the front door open quietly and he turned round to see Nandor coming out the door and walk towards him.

“Ah, Guillermo, there you are. What are you doing out here? It’s fucking freezing.”

“Just taking a minute.”

Nandor came and sat next to Guillermo on the same top step, looking out onto the street and then up at the sky as Guillermo was. It was quiet for a few moments between them, then Guillermo turned to Nandor, “Was there something you wanted, Master? You were looking for me?”

Nandor didn’t turn to look at him as he said, “Oh, nothing…”

“Okay…” Guillermo let the silence linger on.

“It’s just-“ Nandor began before he noticed Guillermo shiver. He was only wearing his shirt and waistcoat and the sun was, obviously and fortunately for Nandor, yet to come up. “You’re cold.”

Guillermo put his arms around himself, “Yeah, I guess it’s a little chilly.”

“Why don’t you go back inside?”

Guillermo shrugs, not being able to explain why he wants to be outside right now. Maybe he’s enjoying sitting here peacefully with Nandor under the night sky too much. Maybe he needs to clear his head. ��But your fragile human body is going to freeze to ice. You don’t want to be made into an ice chip do you, Guillermo?”

“What? I’m not going to-“ he shakes his head, huffing quietly from Nandor’s ridiculousness, “I’m fine.”

Nandor stares at him, fangs bared, like he doesn’t believe him, like he really will turn into an ice chip in a few moments. “Eesh, fine. Here,” he says as he unclasps his black cape and drapes it delicately over Guillermo’s shoulders, and then quickly turns back to look at the sky.

Guillermo froze - not into an ice chip - but out of surprise, slight nervousness, and an uncertainty about how to react to Nandor’s… kindness. “Thank you, Nandor,” he went with, looking up at his strong profile.

“You are welcome, you will not freeze now and I will not have to defrost you and ruin my precious Persian rugs,” he replied matter-of-factly, nodding his head and putting his hands straight out on his knees.

Guillermo grabbed the cape and brought it round his body to wrap up in. The material was very warm and as he brought it up towards his chin he became very aware of being surrounded by Nandor’s very distinct and familiar scent: of oils and incense and musk, of history and comfort and home.

Nandor looked at his bodyguard and felt his dead heart constrict. The sight of Guillermo snuggled into his cape with a content smile on his face challenged Nandor. It challenged him to give in. To give in to feelings of softness towards Guillermo which he mostly did not allow himself to give into, and was always weary of whenever he was around him. Or saw him. Or thought about him. For Nandor, it was Him, for he had become everything. Everything he believed in, everything he fought for, and everything he smiled for. It is suffice to say, he did not win the challenge, but it felt good to lose.

“Guillermo-“, he took a quick breath in and held it, “I came to say that I am sorry for what happened today.”

“Huh? But we did it, we-“

“Just-“ Nandor put his hand up to tell Guillermo to let him finish.

“I am sorry for how you were treated today and if that hurt your feelings. I mean, it should hurt your feelings but I don’t know if you always let it.”

“Mas- Nandor, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Guillermo said. Nandor could literally be talking of about twenty different points today where his feelings could have been “hurt”.

“You know what I am talking about,” Nandor growled, impatient. He shot up off the steps and paced in front of Guillermo. Did he want to make him feel even more ashamed? He guessed he deserved it. He calmed his voice, “I am talking about the time when I allowed for you to be used as bait for the Sire.”

“Oh.” Guillermo breathed out, looking up at Nandor who had stopped his pacing now and was looking at Guillermo. There was a small silence, and then Guillermo also stood up and walked down the steps towards Nandor, cape still round him and falling far below onto the floor.

As he stood in front of Nandor, Nandor could not stand how adorable he looked wearing his cape, oversized on him. It made him feel… protective and proud.

Nandor was too caught up in his thoughts so Guillermo spoke first, “That’s my job, right? To protect you?”

“Yes, I suppose it is…” Nandor said quietly, unsure as Guillermo approached him further.

“But I would have done it anyway. I always would have.” It’s true, he went the extra mile whilst he was his familiar and even before he didn’t know of his bloodline.

Nandor did not know what to say to that. So instead he focused on how the cape was falling off of one of Guillermo’s shoulders. Without thinking, he raised his arm and pulled the material back up and around his shoulder.

He did this with such care and without agenda that it made Guillermo choke up slightly. He felt tingly all in his chest and willed himself to hold on. To not fall too far tonight, as he did so many nights, especially since Meg’s comments at Massive Fitness. As much as he was committed to Nandor, he could never let himself believe that Nandor felt the same.

The small act felt unnaturally natural for Nandor. When he fully comprehended what he was doing, he did not have the instinct to jump back and push Guillermo away, to tell him to get out of his way. Instead, the act made his next words come much easier.

“Guillermo… it should be my job to protect you. You came into my life, and it is a dangerous one. I have… taken too much from you, and you should not be willing for me to take your life.”

The double meaning was there. Yes, he was talking about what happened today, but Guillermo could not help but apply Nandor’s words to his own vampiric dream.

“No.” Guillermo could not, would not, keep going on like this. “It’s not that you have taken too much from me, Nandor,” he said with conviction, “it’s that you haven’t given me enough.”

“Guillermo…-“

“I’d die for you,” Guillermo said bluntly and laughed, “you know that? I would actually die for you. Not become undead, not become a vampire, I would die.”

Nandor looked away from him and took a step back, “Do not speak this way, Guillermo.”

“And I’m fine with that, I am,” he continued, “you’re not taking anything away from me, I’m giving it to you, because I want to. Because that’s how I feel.” Guillermo felt breathless from the outburst and he was slightly shaking, not just from nerves, but because the cape had unwound itself from his middle and only lay across his shoulders again. He shook his head slightly; tonight of all nights he was going to go there. “How do you feel, Nandor?”

“I-“ Nandor was stunned and his brain was working overtime to keep up with his little ex-familiar.

In all of his anxious tension, Nandor’s hesitance was too much. Guillermo huffed and span round to go back inside.

Nandor’s chest clenched and his heart fell, he couldn’t stand the sight of Guillermo walking away from him anymore. “Wait-“ he said as he grabbed Guillermo’s hand and gently pulled him back round to face him. The cape fell off his back.

Guillermo looked up at him, small tears in his eyes as he waited with little hope. His optimistic heart started again, however, when Nandor brought his hand up and drew his fingers through the front of Guillermo’s hair, sweeping it gently to the side and pushing small strands behind his ear. Guillermo’s heart was beating so hard he was sure Nandor could hear it, feel it even. His hand landed delicately on Guillermo’s cheek, like he was touching something precious, and he leaned in.

As their lips touched tears ran down Guillermo’s cheek which Nandor smoothly wiped away with the pads of his thumbs, as he brought his other hand to Guillermo’s other cheek. Guillermo was once again encased by Nandor, except this was the real thing and infinitely better. Guillermo’s hand found its way to Nandor’s neck, his fingertips pushing their way into his hair.

The kiss was gentle and undemanding; a shy but loving meeting with someone you have loved for years. Nandor pulled away but only slightly, so their foreheads rested against each other’s. Their eyes were both closed as they breathed unevenly with each other.

“Guillermo, I would die a thousand times over for you to have one more minute alive.”

Guillermo, teary, giggled dizzily and with relief at the vampire’s words and opened his eyes to find Nandor’s still closed.

“Hey,” Guillermo said as he leaned away and gently urged Nandor to open his eyes by putting his hand under his chin, “so… we’ll protect each other, right?”

Nandor had opened his eyes and was looking down at Guillermo who wore a bright, understanding smile on his face. His cheeks were quite pink and so Nandor leaned down to pick up the fallen cape and pull it back around the smaller man. He held on to Guillermo’s hand, brought it to his lips and kissed the top of it, where the knuckles lay. “Always.”

[theluckyyyoneee]

i love you. | myg

pairing: min yoongi x reader

word count: 2,3k

summary: you ask yourself what your husband's reaction would be if you didn't tell him you loved him back

“So I tried it—and he didn’t even notice!” Karina grumbled over the rim of her glass, earning drunk exclamations and agreements around the table. 

Suji shook her head and wagged her pointer finger in the air and moaned. “My husband will go weeks without telling me he loves me these days, I doubt he’d even care if I never told him I loved him again.”

Slurred words of comfort rang through the air before the attention turned to you, already shying away from their sudden stares. “Y/n, what about you? What do you think your husband’s reaction would be if you suddenly stopped telling him you loved him?”

You opened your mouth to attempt to answer the question you’d never thought about, but were saved by Karina’s loud snicker, almost dropping and shattering her glass as it almost slipped from her loose grip. “Y/n has that man wrapped around her pinky. I legitimately thought Yoongi was incapable of smiling before he met her. He’d probably die of heartbreak.”

“Oh, lucky you!”

“That’s so cute!”

“I’m so jealous!”

More versions of the same kind of phrases were cried out as your cheeks heated up, embarrassed but silently agreed with you friend’s words. Not that you’d consider Yoongi wrapped around your finger and all that, but you could admit that he treated you very well, with that kind of cuteness and slight clinginess that you definitely didn’t expect when you two started dating all those years ago. 

Ever since the two of you met through mutual friends, to silently draping his jacket over your shoulders when he noticed you shivering through your thin sweater, to going ahead and ordering your preferred meal choice when you running late to a dinner party, to his attentive stare that had you flushing whenever you met his gaze, to him quietly and a bit awkwardly asking you out on the first date of many—he’s been the perfect friend, then boyfriend, then husband.

It hasn’t all been a walk in the park, the two of you had your share of arguments like every other couple did, but you prided yourselves with being able to communicate your insecurities and newfound doubts the two of you ran across and worked together to reassure each other and find a solution.

That, and it seemed as if Yoongi couldn’t help but profess his love for you every chance he got. Which wasn’t something you minded at all, it was incredibly endearing and something that about made you fall in love with him all over again. You still had trouble believing he could make a complete stranger trip over their own feet in trying to get away from him by a simple glance. 

How could anyone ever be scared over a cutie like him?

As the conversation around you livened up again as a new subject was brought up—ah, the drunk mind and their attention span—you took a distracted gulp from the drink in your hand.

What would Yoongi’s reaction be if you didn’t respond to the three little words he loved to shower you with?

Were you so cruel that you wanted to find out?

That was all you could think about as you returned to your house a few hours later, having taken off your heels as quietly as you could and shedding off your dress in exchange for a large shirt of his. You breathed in the calming and familiar scent of him as you snuggled into his side after half-heartedly washing up, his arms immediately opening up with an opening for you and held you to him. Still pretty much asleep, he attempted to ask you about your night and place soft kisses over whatever inch of skin he could find at the same time, already fully asleep about ten seconds later. With a breathy laugh, it wasn't long before you joined him.

You woke up earlier than you would have liked, but your stomach was screaming at you in forms of grumbles to get some food in your system. So after a quick shower to rid yourself of the groggy feeling as best you could, you retired to the kitchen, noting with a smile Yoongi still sleeping peacefully, cuddling your pillow with your absence in the bed.

You were scooping the rice into the bowls and finished frying the eggs when he emerged from the bedroom, looking absolutely adorable with the shuffling steps he took towards you and his face slightly swollen from sleep, even after he had obviously washed his face.

"Good morning, baby." He breathed his greeting into the sensitive skin of your neck as he wrapped his arms around your waist, his gummy smile making its appearance at the slight squirming and giggle that left your lips. "You should've woken me up when you did, I could've helped with breakfast."

You shook your head and gazed tenderly at the soft stare he met your eyes with, leaning in for a quick peck before you scooped the eggs off the hot pan. "It doesn't take long, I can handle it. Plus, you were sleeping so nicely, I know how tired you've been and I wanted you to sleep in a bit longer." Playfully pushing him away with your shoulder you told him to go set the table.

"Anything for Mrs. Min. I love you," He squeezed your sides once before stepping away, ignorant to the secret grin that lit up your face as you sprinkled a bit of salt on the food, hearing the clattering of utensils as well as his last three words but saying nothing.

"So, any plans for today?" You asked chirpily as you sat down, noticing him staring at you strangely, but you pretended as if nothing was out of the ordinary and stared at him expectantly with the same smile on your lips.

He blinked and gazed at the food with furrowed brows before responding, "Uh, Hoseok and I were going to go look at some equipment today. I should probably call him and see if he's up," his words were a bit distracted and he fumbled a bit with his phone while you say silent across from him, munching on the rice in your mouth.

"Okay, I'll see you in a bit." Yoongi looked at you once he was done with his short call but you were already spooning a generous amount of food in his mouth. You had heard his entire conversation with Hoseok—not that you planned to eavesdrop, but Hoseok’s voice had the ability to be heard even over the loudest siren.

"Go get ready when you're done eating, I'll take care of the dishes, you still haven't taken a shower yet."

"Did you want to come with us? We shouldn't take too long, and we can go do something after if you want?" You smiled at just how innocent and imploring he seemed as he stared at you with wide eyes and his cheeks puffed out with how much food was in his mouth.

You shook your head and took a sip of your water. "I'm good, I have a bit of a headache from yesterday. I think I'm just gonna laze around today."

"Are you sure?"

He still looked unsure, and you leaned forward as you sighed, wiping a grain of rice off the corner of his mouth. You reassured him that you’d be fine and now it was his turn to smile as your words, nodding as he hurried to finish his food. 

It was under an hour later, and you were lounging on the couch when Yoongi came out, all dressed and ready to go. 

"Alright, I'm heading out. I'll be back later. Call me if you need anything. Love you." He bent down with his lips puckered and you couldn't help the smile that rose the corners of your mouth as you leaned in the remaining inch and met him halfway.

“Okay, I’ll see you when you get home. Bye.” You were smiling and your eyes were trained on his face, expecting a certain reaction that you knew you’d get.

In a millisecond, the relaxed grin that had been in place on his face fell to a frown. He blinked at you and even waved a hand in front of your face. "Did you hear me? I said I love you."

You nodded and offered another smile. “Yeah, I’ll see you when you get back. Have fun.”

He blinked at you in obvious confusion now, his expression shifting into a frown as he kneeled in front of you. His eyebrows raised nearly to his hairline and he looked back at you expectantly as he repeated, “I love you, Y/n.”

You just nodded and smiled in response. “You’re going to be late.”

“Are you mad at me for something?"

"No, why would I be mad?" It was hard to keep a straight face, but this was more fun than you had previously thought it would be, even if you did feel the tiniest bit guilty at the look of concern donning his handsome features.

It about tore your heart to pieces when he gazed up at you with such a dejected and hurt expression on his face, a sad pout on his lips as he quietly whined out, “Then how come you won’t tell me you love me?”

You were going to hell for your actions that made him look at you in such anguish and you would go willingly. 

“I’m so sorry,” you all but cried as you threw your arms around his shoulders, almost taking the both of you tumbling to the floor if it wasn’t for Yoongi’s fast reflexes. “I love you, I love you,” you continued to repeat those words as you grabbed his face in your hands and peppered kisses wherever you could.

Once you had pulled away, his frown was almost completely gone, he was still looking at you a bit peculiarly though he now had the barest hint of a smile as he stared at you in silence as you snuggled into him. 

“I’m sorry,” you apologized again. “I didn’t mean to upset you, it’s just there was a conversation yesterday with the girls’, and they were talking about their husbands not telling them they loved them and I just wondered what your reaction would be if I did that to you.”

"What?"

"It was just a little prank." You brought your thumb and pointer finger a width of a hair strand apart to emphasize that he shouldn't take it too seriously. You sent him a smile you were hoping would appease your actions that you were regretting more with every second that passed.

"Oh, so it was just a prank?" His eyebrows were raised once again and you nodded silently, that feeling of guilt coming back. A grimace settled on his face as he stood the two of you back up and backed away a few steps, crossing his arms over his chest in a defensive stature as he interrogated, "was it was fun to make me worry about if I did something wrong?"

You shook your head and opened your mouth to refute his words but stopped at the vulnerable look that fleeted across his expression as his arms across his chest turned into a more protective gesture, kind of like he was comforting himself as he muttered, “I really thought I did something to make you stop loving me,”

“Honey, I’m so sorry. Don’t ever think that, it was just a stupid prank. I’ll never do anything like this ever again, hmm?” You rushed to him, feeling like you might seriously cry for making him feel that way. “I love you, Min Yoongi. I love you.” You were raising yourself on your tiptoes to gaze into his eyes to which he attempted to evade, but ultimately giving in when you keep persisting in your exclamation of love, giving you that smile and that fond look you associated with him.

“Okay, okay, I believe you. Say it again.”

“I love you, Yoongi. So much.”

He took your face in his hands and pressed a sweet and slow kiss to your lips. You gasped a bit in surprise when you felt his tongue sweeping along your bottom lip so suddenly, opening your mouth and he wasted no time in deepening the kiss with a small moan of his own that had you squeezing your thighs together just at the sound of it.

He tugged you even closer to him, his hands leaving your face to travel down your sides, going as far as to drift underneath your baggy shirt to get to the skin underneath and you couldn’t help shivering as you felt the slightly rough skin of the calluses on his fingers glide over your back.

“Min Yoongi, you're supposed to be meeting Hoseok in ten minutes.” You hated to pull away, especially when he was looking at you with those dark eyes, his mouth glistening and his breath faster than usual. He chose not to answer, letting his gaze linger on your mouth as he tightened his grip on your hips. You pulled further away with a sigh and a sound of surprise was pulled out of you as he pulled you against him, biting your lip as you felt the firmness of his body meeting yours.

"That can wait. I think I need to teach you a lesson about pulling pranks."

bonus:

Hoseok sighed and ended the unanswered call, the fifth time he’s called Yoongi with no answer, not even answering the texts he sent, to either of you. 

“That asshole told me he’d be here twenty minutes ago,” he whined, feeling his ass slowly but surely turning numb with the amount of time he’s spent sitting on his ass in the driver seat of his car waiting in the store parking lot.

Min Yoongi, just you see.

[princessofprocrastination]

Not The Same (GeorgeNotFound)

summary : you put out a song, but it attracted the wrong type of crowd and caused too many misunderstandings.

trigger warnings : threats (including death and doxing), panic attacks, taking of meds. 

"you're THOSE type of fans, huh?" you read the comments on your newest song release.

and that was the start of your downfall.

-

you and your dad really enjoyed singing. at any opportunity you two got, you would be doing a duet.

whether that would be at at a close relative's wedding or your at home karaoke set up, you two knew how to entertain people.

though singing was your passion, you ended up being too busy with school and trying to graduate with a diploma to even think about singing again.

but you swore to make a career of your singing after high school. you just loved it too much.

but then, you didn't go to college for music, which pretty much shocked your parents and your friends since they knew your only passion in life was singing.

but you took a different direction. you still wanted to sing and you were trying your hardest to find a way to make that your career.

someday, anyway. but you needed to have a plan to fall back into in case anything goes wrong.

you were a realist, after all.

so off to college you went.

you spent long hours studying for tests after tests, sat through hours of lectures, did endless amounts of projects.

in the end, it was all worth the wait and fatigue. you graduated top of your class.

you went off to be an intern, clocked in more hours before you could fully go into the next phase of your life.

and after those long hours, you finally made the decision (with the support of your parents) to take a gap year.

but before anyone panics. your gap year was not all fun in games where you took to rest and lay in bed all day.

you took the gap year to see if the music industry fits you. to see if you even had the chance to succeed.

and if it did, you could finally have your dream job. but even if it didn't you were not going to be upset if you needed to fall back onto your backup plan.

in the duration of the gap year, you took voice lessons, and poetry classes for song writing.

and with whatever you have learnt, you took that into writing songs that you felt really relate to your life experiences.

so you spend at least a couple months writing multiple songs.

after almost 2 years, you finally came out with your first song. and it definitely got recognition. more than you thought you'd get, if you were being completely honest.

and that was what pushed you to sit your ass back on your desk to write more, and go into your makeshift studio and make the words into songs.

your parents were ecstatic to hear that you were finally doing the things you loved. and you knew you'd never get this far if it weren't for your family's support.

and so your music journey began.

it was going well for years. you were finally happy doing the one thing you enjoyed doing.

and you definitely think you were good at it. seeing and hearing the positive feedbacks from your family, friends and listeners. 

you felt good. 

but you lost that feeling when you came out with a new single, called ‘fan of you’. 

you spent a while working hard on that song and you felt relieved when it was finally released. it was like a weight was lifted off your shoulders. 

and you weren’t sure how one thing led to another, if you were being honest. at first, you received good feedback for your new songs. you even gained new listeners and your spotify rank rised. 

but then it didn’t anymore. 

your twitter flooded with mentions and your instagram full of tagged pictures and dms by accounts you’ve never heard of. 

but you noticed a similarity with all of the spam. a guy name george. georgenotfound for short.

you being you, you looked into it. and that was when all of the information hit you. and all you had to look up was your name on twitter, and there it was, the longest thread of tweets you have ever seen in your life. 

you took time to read it all, trying to make sure you didn’t miss anything crucial. 

there must be an understanding. you didn’t know this guy name george. you’ve seen his face on pinterest once a while when you scrolled, yes. but you never looked into him. 

this amazing person took their time to gather every bit of information there was about the scandal, which you were grateful for, or else you’d be scouring the internet for hours. 

to summarise what you read, there was this artist by the name of tia jade who came out with a song a few months prior to yours called ‘just a fan.’ 

it was a good song, some say, and you could agree. it was professionally written and produced. but many fans of george found out that the song was about him. 

not just about him, but about her falling in love with him, when she has never met him. and when his fans started to really listen and analyse the song, it got creepier. 

basically, the song was about a fan falling in love with a celebrity/content creator and that they want to know them beyond their persona online. 

but tia had apologised a little after the song came out, saying that she made that song based on a fan liking a content creator, and not about her falling for george. 

but when you read enough of the issue, it definitely did seem like she was making that song to tell her story about falling for george. but she obviously needed an excuse to cover it up. 

hence the apology. 

and then you read about how they analysed your song, too.

they compared your song to tia’s and found it to have similar stories. stories about how a normal girl is falling in love with the man by the name of george, who had millions of followers on all social medias. 

and if you admitted it to yourself, your song did seem to come out that way. especially if your mentality had been there. clearly your song could have been interpreted in many different ways. 

you scrolled to the very bottom of the thread where there was a video of the man himself, george. he was addressing the issue. 

“i don’t know how this happened twice. i thought once was weird enough, but.” he paused, focusing on building something on his screen. 

“having heard of a song being about me again now makes my skin crawl.” he finished. it was short but enough to make his fans understand where he was coming from. 

you scrolled further to see the replies of the thread. you wanted to know what were people saying about it. 

and you definitely regretted your decision to do that. 

threats everywhere. death threats, threats of beating you up, threats of doxing you. god the negative comments were drowned by the one’s that genuinely thought nothing wrong of your song. 

you called you mom. this was the time you needed her advice. you needed to be told what to do. you didn’t want to accidentally trigger people. 

you and her were on the phone for hours. she listened to you cried to her. she heard the painful sobs that came out of your mouth whenever you reminded yourself of what people were calling you on the internet. 

she heard you cry silently on call when you saw your address and phone number being leaked on twitter. 

but even through all of that, you joked around with your mom. “well, this was a hell of a way to be trending.” 

you did what she told you to do. get a new phone number, stay in a hotel for a couple days while you try to settle the raging crowd of georgenotfound fans down. 

in the span of a couple weeks, you got yourself a new number, a new house and a new car. you weren’t taking any chances. 

you told no one besides your mom of the new changes, just to be safe. 

and no, the threats did not cease. at all. these people did not have a life, constantly up in your dms, telling you to jump off a cliff or them hoping that a robber stabs you and leaves you dying. 

you took your time trying to figure out a way to talk to george. or a way to speak out about this. 

you didn’t want to write a half-assed notes app paragraph apologising when- first of all, you had nothing to apologise for and second, you had too much to say to fit it all in a notes app. 

lucky for you, you didn’t need to start your own channel or make a sit down video on your own. 

your recording label had brought up the idea of a documented series about you and how you became a singer about a year ago, and only started filming and posting the episodes a couple months prior on youtube. 

so you took the series to your advantage. you pitched in the idea to your manager, to which she agreed to immediately, knowing that it was best you talked about it now. 

this was how it played out on the perspective of viewers who watched that episode. 

“bless you.” your producer says after you paused your singing in the mic as you stopped to sneeze. 

you gave him a smile and a thumbs up from inside the booth. 

the camera cuts to another clip. 

the cameraman pans as they captured movers coming in and out of your old house, picking up your heavy furniture and boxes into large trucks to move into the new place.

 it cuts again. this time it shows you scrolling on your phone with a focused face while your manager types something vigorously on her computer. 

the camera tries to focus on your phone, and sees that you were on twitter, reading a lot of tweets under your name. 

you exited the app and slide it away, going into youtube next, reading the comments on your song ‘fan of you’. 

you scrolled far, clicking on some of the comments, trying to read the replies to certain comments you saw. 

the camera cuts into a black screen. which then cuts again into a new scene, where you sat on your new kitchen counter talking to your mother, who sat on the chair in front of you. 

your hair was up in a ponytail. a messy one. you were wearing sweatpants and a hoodie that seemed far too big on you, and your feet covered with fluffy socks.

you were nodding to whatever she was saying to you. it was clear your mind was elsewhere as your eyes were unfocused. 

the scene cuts again. 

you were seen on the couch, your legs were tucked into your arms and your head down, body shaking. it was obvious you were crying. 

you were alone, your mother no where to be seen. 

that was the first time the camera caught you crying. 

the scene cuts as you were going to get up from the couch. 

now, you were in the kitchen again, opening the refrigerator to take a water bottle, then walking to your room upstairs. 

the camera follows behind you slowly into your room. 

it hadn’t been the cleanest. there were a couple shirts on the floor, your bed undone, cups on your side table, your laptop open on your desk. 

you were seen opening a drawer, taking out a small white bottle. you unscrewed the bottle and took out 2 pills, popping them in your mouth, drinking water straight away after that to swallow. 

the scene cuts again. 

this time, you were seated on the couch in the studio, the atmosphere dark and quiet. 

your hair was more kept this time, being help up in a clip. 

you were wearing straight jeans and a slightly oversized sweatshirt. you looked more refreshed this time. but it was obvious you hadn’t slept in a while because of your eyes.

your eyes that usually held a lot of happiness and joy turned dull. 

“it’s been a while since i’ve spoken to a camera.” you offered a small smile. your song ‘just a fan’ was playing in the background of the clip. 

the scene cuts again. 

“when i released that song, i was genuinely proud of the work i had done.” you paused for a while. besides the song playing in the background, it was silent. 

“but i guess the joy didn’t last very long.” the scene cuts there. 

it transitioned to a collage of what people were saying about you. it showed clips of people talking about it on youtube. they even showed george talking about it. 

and it cuts again. 

it showed a different clip this time. a clip of your ex boyfriend and you at the beach on a picnic, that was taken by a close friend of yours. 

this was when you were still in college. 

it showed all the fun memories you two made while you were still together. 

it showed a video of him studying in the library, flipping through his papers and scrolling through his laptop. it was clear he was hard at work, not noticing you filming him. 

but then the scene cuts again. and the music turned somber. 

your ex boyfriend’s grave. 

it was the day you were visiting him. you sat down next to his stone, a blanket under you. 

you were just staring at his stone, not moving. 

and it cuts again. 

“he was one of the most driven person i have ever met.” you told the camera. 

“he knew when to be serious and when to have fun.” you looked down in your hands and played with your rings. 

“all he ever talked about was becoming a surgeon. he worked hard in his intern years and continued being passionate through his residency.” you spoke up. 

“people had only nice things to say about him. the only bad thing they would say about him is that he can be pretty uptight sometimes, especially when he was stressed about something.” you laughed a little. 

“i was a huge fan of him, even when we just saw each other in the hallways. he’s just amazing. i’ve always wanted to be just like him.”

“i wanted to write a song about him but i didn’t the song to be sad.” you said. 

“and that was when the song ‘fan of you’ was created. 

the scene cuts there and goes into another. 

you were in the recording booth again, this time, you were singing into the mic. 

the camera pans to your producer and manager dancing and bobbing their heads to the beat. 

the scene cuts, officially ending it with a black screen with ‘the end’ in a fancy white font. 

you busied yourself with writing new songs as your name got trended again on twitter. 

and george has never felt worse about himself ever in his entire life. 

-

he watched the episode as soon as dream sent it to him. 

“you’re an asshole, george.” dream sends to him, along with the link of the video on youtube. 

as the video ends, he decides to read the comments, wondering what it was like down there. 

it was the worse mistake he had ever made in a while. 

but he knew he deserved it. he did assumed it was about him, just like the last song made with a drawing of his glasses as their cover photo on spotify. 

this time, there was genuinely no reason to think that this song was about him, or anyone with a following whatsoever. he just believed what his chat told him. 

sure, there were some familiarity of the character in your song and him, but the world did have 7.6 billion people living on it. 

“so, here i am apologising.” george says to his camera, live. his tone was very sincere and apologetic. 

“this shouldn’t have gotten this far. they shouldn’t have gotten threats at all, let alone death threats. they shouldn’t have woken up to the world knowing where they live and what their phone number is.” 

“and if you’re watching. i sincerely apologise. i clearly was full of myself.” george finishes. ending the live with a small wave. 

and were you watching? hell yes. 

and that was the day the two of you followed each other on instagram. 

he used your songs as his intros of his live, (with your permission, of course.) you showed in your documentary that you were watching whenever he was live or watching his youtube videos. 

and that was the start to a beautiful relationship. 

you sat on the chair, going live. you waved as people started joining. it went from hundreds, to thousands in seconds. 

as you were talking and clicking on your keyboard and mouse, playing a game, you felt arms around your shoulders. 

you smiled, yet continued playing. 

“why are you live on my account?” he laughs. 

you disconnected the headphones so that he could hear what you were hearing. 

“george, you’re being replaced.” dream said on discord. 

george smiles, giving you a kiss on the top of your head. “that was well deserved.” 

[viastro]

trailing arbutus | lee juyeon

ミ★ synopsis: you couldn’t help but fall for the boy who offered you his umbrella on that rainy day in the fall.

ミ★ genre: hanahaki!au, best friends to lovers!au, angst, some humor, some fluff

ミ★ warnings: mentions of death, vomiting

ミ★ word count: 5,038

ミ★ pairings: juyeon x gender neutral reader

ミ★ notes: hi guys ! it’s been a while since i released a tbz oneshot so here’s juyeon ! spring break is coming soon and my classes for spring quarter are a lot easier than the classes i was taking during winter quarter, so i should be able to post oneshots more consistently again... i hope </3 AJLEGSBKRJ don’t hold me to that <333 keep your expectations of me very low <333 the flower that juyeon gave yn may seem familiar if you read my minghao oneshot, last a lifetime >:D anyways, i hope you guys enjoy this ! i wish i could’ve spent some more time on it, but alas. make sure to give juyeon lots of love <3

You met Juyeon in the Fall, when the raindrops began to descend down from the sky and you had forgotten to bring your umbrella.

“Fuck me.” You curse under your breath as you see the pellets of rain drop onto the sidewalk before you, wondering why the weather app always seems to fail you in times of need. 

You were studying at the library for your biopsychology midterm at the end of the week, as you feel that your apartment has too many distractions. For once in your life, you checked the weather app to see if it would rain, and it said no rain.

It lied.

So now here you are, no umbrella in your hand as you debate on whether to sacrifice your textbook or your bag. 

“This textbook was 200 dollars…” You mumble to yourself, now deciding which of the items to ruin. You open up your bag to place the textbook inside, only to pause when you feel a presence beside you. Turning your head, you see an incredibly handsome blonde man standing to your left, holding an opened umbrella above you.

“Don’t ruin your textbook and bag.” He tells you with a small smile, and you raise an eyebrow, looking down at your bag that now holds your giant biopsych book. 

“I would’ve only ruined my bag.” You respond, and the pretty man chuckles, pointing at the cloth material of your bag. You purse your lips, coming to terms with the fact that he has made some strong points. 

“Take my umbrella.” He says, giving the umbrella he’s holding a slight jiggle. You shake your head, raising your hands up to tell him that it’s fine, only to pause when he places the umbrella handle into the palm of your hand. 

“It’s okay, my friend has one anyways. Get home safe!” And with a final smile, he heads back into the library. Leaving you standing at the entrance, in a state of both shock and gratitude as you hold the pretty stranger’s umbrella. You glance back towards the rain, and begin your descent down the stairs, heading back to your apartment.

It’s when you’re close to the trees that you pause, turning to look back towards the library when you realize something. 

“I never got his name.” You mutter, before letting out a sigh. You continue on the path towards your apartment building, feeling too lazy to go back and ask for the kind man’s name. 

The thought of his smile still lingers in your mind, even when you return to the warmth of your home.

You didn’t see Juyeon for a month afterwards, but you made sure to keep his umbrella with you in case you ran into him on campus again. The day you finally saw the pretty boy again, it was in fact, raining. Except this time, the roles were switched. 

You had an umbrella, and he didn’t.

“Rain, I have a love and hate relationship with you.” You state quietly as you walk towards the cafe, umbrella shielding you from getting drenched. The weather app lied to you once again, saying that it was only going to be partly cloudy.

Partly cloudy your ass.

You hold the umbrella that the pretty man gave you a month ago, feeling grateful that you’ve been carrying it on you since that day just in case you ran into him. However, you’ve ended up using it more often than you originally thought you would.

You squint when you see a familiar blonde haired man holding his bag over his head as he walks to his destination. You speed up your pace until you’re close to him, and realize that he’s the pretty stranger from a month ago.

Without a word, you take a few more steps and outstretch the umbrella over his head, and he pauses, turning to look at you. The two of you stop walking, and he tilts his head to the side when he recognizes you, a pretty smile coming over his features. 

“Don’t ruin your bag.” You point out with a grin, and he lets out a laugh, nodding his head. He glances up at the umbrella, chuckling when he sees that it’s the same one he gave you that day at the library. Looking back at you he asks, “You kept it?” 

You nod your head, an incredulous look coming onto your face. “Of course I did! Why would I get rid of a stranger’s umbrella?” 

The man purses his lips, before outstretching his hand in your direction. “Hi, I’m Lee Juyeon.” 

You smile, now knowing the name of the kind man as you reach out and grasp his hand, giving it a slight squeeze. “I’m yn yln.” 

A year since that fateful encounter, you and Juyeon are walking towards his apartment underneath a shared umbrella. The rain falls softly against the clear plastic, and you watch as the droplets fall off the sides and onto the ground. 

“Always so intrigued by the rain, huh?” Juyeon asks you with a grin, making you turn and look at his face. He dyed his hair black a few months after the two of you became friends, having had Changmin color it for him. However, with the boxed bleach you hold in the shopping bag as the two of you walk, you know Juyeon’s hair is about to be fried.

“The rain is nice when I’m not getting wet.” You respond with a nudge, and Juyeon chuckles, nodding his head in agreement. You both turn into the apartment building entrance, with the black haired beauty shaking the umbrella to remove the excess water. 

“Are you sure you want to bleach your hair again?” You ask once the two of you enter the elevator, and he nods his head as he wraps up the umbrella. “Yeah, I miss the blonde.” 

Pursing your lips at the thought of Juyeon possibly going bald, you decide to press more, “Your hair could end up being absolutely fried.” 

Your pretty friend simply shrugs his shoulders, taking a photo of the boxed bleach in the bag that you’re holding. You let out a sigh when the elevator doors open and you both step out, wondering how he manages to just not care about anything. 

“Okay, I have another question.” You state as the two of you walk up to Juyeon’s apartment door. He raises an eyebrow at you as he turns the key, letting you step in first. “Mm?” 

“Are you sure you want me to bleach your hair for you? Do you remember the last time I tried to dye Changmin’s hair pink?” Juyeon just chuckles at the tragic memory, shrugging off his coat and placing it onto the rack. He stretches his hand out to you, and you hand him your own jacket, watching as he places it beside his own. 

“Yeah. I trust you, yn.” Juyeon tells you as he walks off towards the bathroom, stretching his arms over his head as he does so. Your eyes catch the sliver of skin that appears when his shirt rides up, and you immediately turn away, letting out a frustrated breath as warmth floods your face.

“You really shouldn’t have this much trust in me.” You mutter, following after the pretty man. The two of you set up the bathroom, with you preparing the bleach solution and Juyeon placing newspapers onto the floor. 

“You ready?” Juyeon glances up from his phone and into the mirror, sending you a grin that makes your heart palpitate within your chest. “Of course.” 

You place the brush with the bleach concoction onto a few strands of Juyeon’s hair, wincing at the image of your pretty friend going bald because of how often he colors his hair. Juyeon raises an eyebrow at the furrow to your brows and the pout to your lips, letting out a chuckle as he turns around and rests his hand on your head. 

You snap out of the trance of a bald Juyeon, just to find your best friend staring at you with an amused expression on his face. With his thumb, he reaches down and swipes the crease between your eyebrows until it goes away. He gives you a kind smile once his hand lowers back down to his lap, “Why did it look like you stepped in a pile of dog poop as you started to bleach my hair?” 

You don’t answer for a moment as you return to placing the bleach onto the ends of Juyeon’s hair, warmth flooding your face at the physical contact that lasted very briefly but sent your heart spiraling. Juyeon watches you in the mirror, awaiting your answer. 

These feelings have to stop before it’s too late, You think to yourself once you feel yourself begin to calm down. It wasn’t shocking to you that you felt a bit attracted to Juyeon, as he is incredibly handsome and has a precious personality to match. What was surprising, albeit a bit scary, is that your attraction for Juyeon didn’t dwindle as the two of you became closer over a span of a year. In fact, it’s only grown since then.

But that is one of the few facts that you refuse to acknowledge.

Biting the inside of your cheek, you take out a comb and part another section of Juyeon’s hair and finally glance up into his eyes in the mirror with a playful smile. 

“Cause I thought of how you’d look bald.” 

Juyeon scoffs, eliciting a giggle out of you when you take note of his own expression turning a bit sour from the image appearing in his mind. 

“If I go bald, I’m blaming you.” 

“You just said you trusted me!” 

“Yeah, well. That was before you placed the image of me being bald in my head.” Juyeon says, laughing when he sees you biting the inside of your cheek to hold back your own chuckles. He nudges you slightly, and your laughter pours out, mixing with his own as you continue to bleach his hair.

The previous worries you had slowly melt away, but inch back towards the surface each time you lock eyes with your best friend.

You scroll through your phone, looking through Twitter to try and find memes as you wait for Changmin to come for your guys’ weekly lunch run. Your thumb halts its sweeping movement when you feel a presence standing before you, and you glance up to see Juyeon staring at you with a smile on his face. 

Immediately you frown, “What are you doing here?” 

Juyeon’s eyebrows furrow in response to your unenthusiastic reaction. He runs a hand through his blonde hair, “Changmin has to stay after at practice because he needs to help fix the choreo. He told me he texted you, but you didn’t respond.” 

You purse your lips, going to the messages app to see that you did, in fact, completely miss Changmin’s message that he couldn’t make it and that Juyeon will be his replacement for the week. You grin when your eyes land on the last text.

changmin: this is only a one time thing ! no one can ever replace me on our weekly lunch extravaganzas >:DD

“Mmm.” You mutter, placing your phone into your pocket and looking up at Juyeon, who is squinting at you. 

“What?”

“Why are you so unhappy that you’re eating lunch with me and not Changmin?” Juyeon asks, and you smile, beginning to walk towards McDonalds without answering his question. The blonde just stares after you with an amused smile on his face, watching as you turn back towards him and cup your hands around your mouth.

“Changmin is more entertaining!” 

Juyeon’s mouth drops open at your words, and you let out a loud laugh at how offended he looks. He points towards you with a competitive grin on his face, and your eyes widen when you realize what that look means. 

“Juyeon, no.” He simply starts running after you without a response, making you elicit a squeal as you begin to sprint away. The two of you run through campus, ignoring all the other students around you as you let out bright laughs while listening to Juyeon’s shouts.

“You’ll NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!” 

You suddenly feel your wrist get grabbed, and you’re pulled back into Juyeon’s body as he laughs, staring into your eyes with all the stars in the universe. Warmth floods your face from the close proximity between the two of you, wondering if he’s even affected by this as he looks at you.

“I caught you alive.” Juyeon states with a grin, pulling back and raising his arms up as he stretches. It takes you a moment to answer as you wait for your heart to calm down, before rolling your eyes and nudging him. 

“Whatever. You got a head start.” 

“You literally ran before I even chased after you.” You simply shrug your shoulders, and Juyeon lets out a chuckle as the two of you peacefully walk towards the fast food franchise. 

“You still think Changmin is more fun than me?” Juyeon asks as the two of you pass the flower shop, signaling that you’re close to McDonalds and closer to eating very unhealthy french fries. Biting the inside of your cheek, you respond, “I think you’re both equally fun.” 

When you don’t hear a reply from Juyeon, you turn your head and realize that the blonde is no longer walking alongside you. You glance back to see him standing by a bucket that holds a few flowers, and you raise an eyebrow when he tentatively lifts a pale pink blossom out. 

Juyeon walks back over to you with a friendly smile on his face, and you open your mouth to ask what it is, only to pause when he reaches out and tucks the fragile flower behind your ear. You look into his eyes to search for an answer as to why, but you fail to find it.

Juyeon looks away from you first, pointing towards the direction of the McDonalds. “Let’s go get lunch, yn.” 

You nod your head slowly, and the two of you walk side by side to the fast food establishment, all while you try to calm down your racing heart. In your head you’re just repeating to yourself the same sentence like a mantra to try to remind yourself not to overthink the action.

he doesn’t like you, he doesn’t like you, he doesn’t like you. stop these feelings before it’s too late.

It’s only later when you’re alone in your bathroom throwing up the familiar pale pink petals that you realize, 

it’s too late.

“What ramen do you think yn would like better?” Changmin asks Juyeon as the two walk around the convenient store to buy groceries for you. The blonde glances over at his friend, pointing at the shin ramen, “That one. It’s yn’s favorite, they always make it for me when I visit.” 

Changmin purses his lips, grinning to himself as he places the packet into the basket he’s holding. Juyeon takes notice of the knowing smile on the black haired beauty’s face, and he nudges him, causing Changmin to chuckle. “Why are you smiling?”

“Cause your love for yn is showing.” Changmin responds, and Juyeon bites the inside of his cheek, shaking his head at him. The blonde turns back towards the arrangement of items, grabbing a few of your favorite snacks and placing them into the basket. 

“I don’t even know what love is.” Juyeon mutters as he grabs one more pack of ramen and throws it into the basket. Changmin purses his lips, choosing not to respond as the two walk to the checkout. 

You haven’t been going to classes, nor have you been texting Changmin or Juyeon for the last few days. Juyeon remembered the time you got sick and didn’t text either of them a few months ago, so he realized you must be doing the same thing right now. That’s why he dragged Changmin to the convenience store to prepare a care package for you, knowing that you don’t take proper care of yourself when you have a cold.

“You sure you can’t come with me to yn’s? I think you’d make them feel better.” Changmin says, promptly changing the topic as they place everything onto the counter. Juyeon purses his lips a bit, wishing he could come and visit, but he already agreed to practice with the new recruits of the dance team. 

“I can’t back out of plans an hour before, so I’ll just pay for all the groceries.” Juyeon responds as taps his card on the reader, watching as the payment goes through and placing the card back into his wallet. They both grin at the cashier as they hand them their bags, before walking out of the convenience store.

“Text me when you get to yn’s, I’ll try to visit after practice.” Juyeon tells Changmin, and the younger nods his head. The blonde waves his hand at his friend, before turning and heading towards the university. 

Juyeon glances up towards the grey sky as he walks, finding that his thoughts are only flooded with you as he does so. 

He comes to wonder when his heart began to beat faster whenever he saw you.

“Yn! Let me in!” You don’t move to answer the door, continuing to sit by your living room window, staring out at the city below. Coughing slightly, you reach over and grab your cup of tea, taking a long sip once Changmin’s voice comes to a stop. 

It’s only when you hear your door knob jiggle that you turn your head with a frown, seeing your front door open fully to reveal your friend who has a frown on his face. You let out a sigh, and Changmin’s frown deepens as he slips off his shoes and closes the front door, walking towards you. 

“How’d you get in?” You ask quietly, only to let out an, ah, when Changmin holds up the spare key you gave him a few months back. He places the bag from the convenience store onto the coffee table, before settling down beside you. 

The two of you stay silent for a moment, with Changmin staring at you in concern, and you avoiding eye contact by staring out the window. You bite the inside of your cheek once you feel a tickle in your throat, trying your best not to cough.

“Why didn’t you tell me or Juyeon that you were sick? You did this last time and you got scolded. Now I’m gonna scold you again! You live alone, yn. You should be resting, not making your own food or cleaning.” Changmin says sternly, and you don’t reply with the fear that you may cough out those pale pink petals again.

“Yn.” Changmin states once you don’t answer, leaning a bit closer to look at your face. 

“Why are you giving me the silent treatment? You should be giving Juyeon the silent treatment since he didn’t come! Well, he actually paid for the groceries I got for you but-” The words die in Changmin’s throat when you release a cough, and a single petal flies out of your mouth and onto the floor. His eyes widen at the sight, before turning towards you and seeing the tears flooding your eyes.

“Yn…” You bite your bottom lip, before leaning over and resting your forehead onto Changmin’s shoulder. 

“What are you going to do?” Changmin asks, wrapping his arms around you and patting your back soothingly. He’s filled with worry as he stares down at the pink petal on the floor, knowing that there’s only two options to handle this disease.

“I don’t know.” You mutter quietly, tears trailing down your face. Changmin bites the inside of his cheek, pulling you closer and holding you. 

“I don’t know what hurts more,” You begin, squeezing your fists tightly at the thought that comes to mind. “The petals that I keep coughing up.” 

You cough again, fortunately no petals escape as you pull back from Changmin’s embrace to look at him. He reaches out and pats your head, and you harshly bite your bottom lip when the thought of those sparkly eyes comes to mind as you say,

“Or the fact that Juyeon doesn’t love me back.”

You walk around campus with your mask over your mouth and nose, feeling grateful that you haven’t coughed up any petals throughout any of your classes. Glancing up at the sky, you see the various shades of pink and blue, your heart feeling heavy at the beautiful sight. 

“Yn!” Your eyes widen when you hear that familiar voice, but you refuse to turn around, continuing to walk as if you never heard it. 

“Yn! Wait!” You speed up your pace, panicking when the sound of footsteps draws closer. You’re about to break out into a full on sprint when Juyeon runs around you, forcing you to halt your movements as you stare at him with wide eyes. 

“Didn’t you hear me calling for you? You haven’t been responding to my texts for the last week.” Juyeon says as his chest goes up and down, trying to catch his breath from having to run to you. You let out a small laugh, shaking your head as you attempt to pretend that you’re okay. “Sorry, I’ve been avoiding looking at my phone cause it strains my eyes.”

Juyeon nods his head, understanding what you mean as you just got over being sick. “Changmin told me that you had a fever and just slept the whole time when he came to see you a couple days ago, are you feeling better now?” 

Biting the inside of your cheek, you nod and flash Juyeon the brightest eye smile you can muster. He squints at you, before reaching his hand up and resting it on your forehead to check your temperature. You freeze, warmth flooding your face from the contact, only to pause when you feel your throat begin to tickle with that dreadful feeling.

“Your forehead isn’t hot, so I suppose you weren’t- Yn?” Juyeon’s eyes fill with concern at the sight of your eyes turning watery. He takes a step closer but you raise your hand up to stop him, feeling the petals begin to climb up your throat as you turn and run away from Juyeon without another word. Juyeon’s eyes widen, “Yn!” 

Feeling the tears fall past your eyes at the calls of your name, you sprint away, trying your best to hold back the flowers that threaten to escape, but to no avail. Finding it harder to breathe, you remove your mask as you run, releasing a few of the petals that were stuck in the cloth. Your chest burns, your heart hurts, everything is in pain as you run away from the one you love.

“Yn..” Juyeon mutters, stopping himself from chasing after you when he realizes you have no plans of stopping. He watches as your figure gets smaller, only to squint when he catches sight of something pink flowing with the wind from behind you. 

Juyeon’s heart stops in his chest when it floats in his direction, and he stretches his arm towards it, watching as the pale pink petal softly falls onto the palm of his hand. He knows this flower, and as he looks back up in the direction you ran in, he feels his heart break for the first time when he makes the connection of where the fragile petal came from.

Changmin watches from across the studio as Juyeon keeps making mistakes in the choreography, something the dancer rarely ever does. However, over the last few days, it’s been happening consistently. No matter how many times Changmin reteaches the choreo to Juyeon step by step, he still makes a mistake the next day.

“Juyeon, you keep making mistakes.” Changmin says as he pauses the music, turning to look at his best friend. The blonde simply breathes heavily, staring down at the floor while he tries to sort out his thoughts. Changmin frowns, stepping forward towards his friend, “Juyeon.”

“Yn ran away from me the other day.” Juyeon starts, a furrow to his brow as he remembers the look of fear in your eyes. He bites his bottom lip harshly, before looking up at Changmin, seeing the dread on his friend’s face, “A pink petal flew towards me from their direction.”

“Juyeon-”

“It had to have been one of the flowers that grow in the square, right?” Juyeon asks with tears filling his eyes, stepping towards Changmin as he squeezes his fists at his sides. The black haired beauty tries his best to hold back from crying as he simply shakes his head, no.

“They have hanahaki, Juyeon.” Changmin states, tears escaping his own eyes from finally confessing the truth that’s been haunting him for the last week. The two stay silent for a moment, letting the information sink in as Juyeon slowly slides down onto the floor.

“Is it me?” Juyeon asks in a soft voice as he looks up from the wooden floor, Changmin lets out a bittersweet smile at the question, looking away from the blonde as his own heart breaks within his chest.

“It is.” Changmin answers quietly, rubbing his chest in an attempt to ease the pain. Juyeon slowly stands up from the floor, eyes wide as he stares at his friend. Changmin turns to look at the blonde, eyebrows furrowing at the shocked expression on Juyeon’s face.

“What is it-”

“How long has it been since the last time yn coughed up flowers?” Changmin purses his lips, remembering how you mentioned you haven’t coughed anything since the day you ran into Juyeon. “I don’t know, a week?” 

Changmin pauses, suddenly realizing what Juyeon’s thinking when his eyes widen as he connects the dots. Hope floods his chest as he stares at his friend, feeling relieved that you’re going to be okay. Juyeon turns and looks out the window of the studio, seeing the rain fall from the sky, and he quickly walks over and grabs his sweatshirt and umbrella. 

“Where are you going? We just realized something huge!” Changmin shouts when he watches Juyeon walk towards the door. The blonde simply turns back towards his friend, giving him a small smile, 

“It’s raining, yn must’ve forgotten their umbrella.”

“I forgot my umbrella.” You mutter, staring up at the blue sky from the convenience store entrance. The raindrops fall hard onto the pavement, making you let out a sigh. You turn to glance back inside the convenience store, debating on buying one even though you have at least four back at your apartment. You look down at the bag in your hand, seeing the ramen and tea you bought in an attempt to soothe your throat. 

Biting the inside of your cheek, you remember that your days are limited as you watch the raindrops fall from the sky. With that in mind, you step out of the protection you had from the convenience store, and let the rain hit you as you walk towards your apartment, convenience store bag in tow as you do so. 

As your clothes slowly become soaked, you can’t help but think of how you met Juyeon. The kind guy who gave you his umbrella on that rainy day. You let out a bittersweet smile, knowing that it was inevitable for you to fall for the man. 

You halt your movements, suddenly realizing the fact that you haven’t coughed up flowers in almost a week. Your eyes widen, heart beating rapidly against your chest as the bag of groceries you were holding falls to the ground. 

You scramble to grab your phone from your pocket, quickly unlocking your phone to dial Juyeon’s number as tears fill your eyes. You listen to it ring, quietly muttering to yourself for him to pick up the call, needing to know if this is real.

“Hello?” 

“Juyeon! Where-” 

“You didn’t bring an umbrella again?” You squint, wondering how he knows that as you look up from the ground, only for your mouth to fall open when you see him standing a few feet away from you, umbrella in hand. You take note of the rise and fall to his chest, seeing that he must’ve ran here from dance practice as the two of you stare at each other. 

You let out a wet laugh, tears falling from your eyes as you stare at Juyeon, nodding your head as you adjust the phone to your ear. “You know me, I always forget. That’s why you’re there to save me from the rain each time.” 

Juyeon smiles in response, tears spilling and flowing down his face. He reaches up in an attempt to wipe it away, laughing quietly as he stares at you, a look of remorse in his gaze. Feeling grateful that he was able to realize his feelings for you, but regretful that you had to experience so much pain before he did so.

“I’m sorry I didn’t save you sooner, I wasn’t sure what the weather was going to be.” Juyeon mutters, and you bite the inside of your cheek, understanding what he truly means. You give him a grin, before opening your arms and gesturing to your guys surroundings as the rain begins to fall softer from the sky.

“It’s okay, you came just in time.” You say, wiping away the mix of tears and rain from your face. Juyeon walks towards you, stopping when the umbrella is hovering over the two of you, blocking you from the rain. 

“I love you.” Juyeon confesses, and you bite the inside of your cheek, nodding your head as the tears fall from your eyes once again. He reaches out and softly wipes it away with his thumb, letting his warm hand remain on your cheek as he stares into your eyes. 

As the rain continues to fall from the sky on this sunny Spring day, a rainbow forms above you and Juyeon as you let out a smile, leaning into his touch when you say,

“I love you too, Juyeon.” 

trailing arbutus: if given the pale pink blossom, it means you are the only one they love. a promise that the love they have for you will not only be warm, but will last a lifetime.

[missymurphy1985]

The Call

This was another request: So y/n is younger than Cill, she overs here's a call he's on with his management basically trying to convince him to leave her, so she goes upstairs to pack up because well she's not staying around when she's not wanted & Cillian finds her doing this and he's like no no no let me show me how much I want you around 😉

Warnings - talk of separation, smut

Turning the key in the lock you carefully opened the door as quietly as possible. Knowing Cillian, he was taking a nap in the lounge and you didn't want to disturb him. 12 hour days filming six days a week, he'd come home yesterday completely exhausted.

Instead of his light snoring, you were surprised to hear him talking on Skype to his agent in the study across the hallway. You smiled, before making your way to the door to let him know you were home, bottle of wine in hand when you froze.

"So, I'd get more scripts if I wasn't with y/n?" You heard Cillian ask his agent. You didn't move, you could barely breathe.

"Cillian, this is having a severe impact on your credibility! Producers aren't taking you seriously anymore, they're seeing you as a sugar daddy! Y/n is barely out of university, and you're pushing 50 here!" His agent was almost laughing.. you were sure you even heard Cillian chuckle at one point.

"Right... So it looks like we've got this all figured out then doesn't it?"

"Absolutely!! It's so simple Cill, everyone loves a single Dad!"

You'd heard enough. Tears burning your eyes, you tiptoed up the stairs, still with the wine in your hand, and made your way to your bedroom. Once you were sure you were out of earshot you allowed a sob to leave you as you leaned against the closed door, before grabbing an overnight bag from the closet. Taking a deep breath, and opening the wine to take a quick slug from it, you started to pack. All those times he'd told you he loved you... You completed him... Lies! He'd exchange you for Hollywood in a heartbeat!!! Well no... This wasn't going down that way - there's no way he's breaking YOUR heart when you can break HIS first....

Taking another swig from the bottle you took another deep breath and continued packing, not realising how loud your footsteps had become. The bedroom door suddenly swung open, and Cillian stood in the doorway, completely confused.

"Er... Y/n? Everything okay up here? I didn't hear you come home?"

"I didn't want to disturb your call.. you sounded busy." You voice was as deadpan as you could make it. You couldn't even look at him.

"Are you going somewhere?" You stopped, tears escaping your eyes too quickly to stop them.

"I heard you... I heard the call Cillian..."

"What call?" He approached you from behind and tried to put his arms around you but you pulled away. Turning to face him, you brought a hand up to slap the side of his face. "The fuck y/n?!?" You'd never slapped him before.. part of you felt an instant regret but the anger was burning inside you.

"Don't fucking play dumb with me, I heard you!! You'd get more scripts if you didn't have the 25year old homewrecker on your arm! You'd be more credibility as a single Dad!" Cillians eyes widened.. no... No no no..

"How much of that call did you hear, exactly?"

"Enough!!"

"Wrong!! You didn't hear fucking HALF of it!! You didn't hear me end the call, did you?" His voice raised now. "When I told him never to call me again. Never to even claim to represent me. That he was fired?? Did you hear that??" You stood frozen again, looking into his eyes. Your tears were drying up, but his looked close to spilling. "To have someone try and tell me how to live my life... Tell me who I can and can't spend my life with... he did the same thing with Natalie.. he wants me to be an eternal bachelor... that my career would take off if I wasn't seeing someone 20 years younger..." His voiced cracked at the thought of losing you.

"It worked with Natalie. Yes, she was the mother of my kids, but there was never a real connection with her.. I allowed it to happen without realising he was responsible for it... But you? I can't live without you y/n... The age difference has never bothered me.." he walked towards you again, pulling the bottle of wine out your hand and placing it on the chest of drawers in the corner. Picking the handles up on the overnight bag on your bed and throwing it to the floor. Needed it out of the way for what he was about to do.

"How do I know you won't change your mind one day? How do I know you mean it? You could trade me in for a younger model one day!"

"I'll show you how much I want you, and will always want you - close your eyes." His voice took a darker tone now, which always drove you wild. You closed you eyes as you felt his lips slowly start to kiss down your neck.. he turned you back round again so your back was pressing against his chest, as his fingers began to unbutton your blouse. "Keep them closed, baby..." He saw your eyelids flutter in the full length mirror in front of you both. He pulled your blouse off and let it fall to the floor, swiftly followed by your bra. Your jeans and panties soon came down your legs too, and he brought himself back up minus his T shirt.. his now bare chest hair tickling your back making you giggle.

His hands explored your upper whole body... Pressing your breasts, kneading them gently and loving hearing the moans of complete passion emitting from your beautiful lips... Before sinking a hand down to rest between your thighs, gently tapping them to allow him access. Happily granting it, he sunk a finger down to collect as much moisture as he could before circling your clit expertly, knowing exactly how to make you squirm underneath him. Holding you firmly round the waist with one hand, as the other mercilessly assaulted the small bundle of nerves between your legs, you squeezed your eyes closer together and allowed your head to fall back onto his shoulder. You couldn't move from the waist down, he had such a tight grip on you.

"Fuck... Cill... Keep going.. don't stop... Oh god..." He smiled, kissing into your bare neck as your moans became louder, he could feel your core burning now... You felt your orgasm screaming from inside as Cillian increased the pace.

"I've got you... Open those eyes baby.. watch yourself cum on my fingers, yeah?" You opened them to see yourself in the mirror, Cillians hand buried between your thighs and you couldn't help but feel the pure eroticism from it - fuck his hand looked good there.... Within seconds you could feel that orgasm approaching, no stopping it, it completely drowned you as your tried to buck your hips, held in place by Cillians strong arms. He swiftly inserted two fingers inside you, feeling your walls clench around them as you came hard over his hand. Twitching those fingers upwards slightly to find that sweet spot, making you cry out again.

"No more.... I wanna taste you now..." You span round to face him and kissed him, tongues clashing together as you fiddled with the buttons on his jeans - his erection clear as day through the fabric. They dropped to the floor and you followed, still in front of the mirror as you took him down your throat, teeth catching along the way gently. His hands coming to rest in your hair.

"Ah... Holy fuck y/n..." You groaned into his cock as your hands rolled his balls between your fingers, emitting more groans from above you. "Stop baby... Need to fuck you now y/n... Let me in yeah..." He lifted you up to stand again, before backing you onto the bed. Opening your legs he lined himself up and pushed inside, condoms long gone since you'd moved in together. If it happened, it happened.

Taking it slow, he moved his hips against yours, trying to find that sweet spot inside again. He heard you gasp, there it was. Your fingernails dug into his back, and his thrusts became almost maniacal - he was pounding you with reckless abandon now, making your screams echo off the walls. Thank fuck your neighbours weren't home... He wasn't holding back now - sitting up on his knees, he lifted your hips for deeper access, thumb rubbing your swollen clit to bring you your second orgasm. You clenched your cunt round his cock hard, squeezing him, watching his eyes squint and mouth gasp as you did..

"Need to cum y/n... Cum with me.... Let me feel it all over me...."

"I'm coming... I am... Baby I'm gonna..." You had no voice now as your second orgasm exploded through you, and Cillians followed with a loud groan as he collapsed on top of you, kisses raining back down your neck, gentler this time. Lifting his head to rest it over yours, he looked into your eyes softly.

"Don't ever feel like you're not enough for me y/n... Promise me?" You nodded in agreement.

"Don't trade me in for a younger model when I turn 40, and you've got a deal Mr Murphy." You tried to hold back a laugh but couldn't help it, both of you now chuckling.

"Don't get Botox or any of that crazy weird shit, and you've got a deal."

"Don't be coming near me with ANYTHING from Ann Summers, and you've got a deal." He pouted. Clearly busted looking at the costumes online.

Both of you fell silent. A comfortable silence that you both sank into, before rolling under the covers to nap together.

"You're stuck with me now, you know that? I'm agentless, I might never work again!" He laughed again, and so did you.

"That's okay, save a fortune on childcare." He smiled. That was true. After spending so much time away from his boys as young kids, he was looking forward to spending as much time as possible with a new baby, if they were lucky enough to have one together. Despite his age, he felt he had plenty of time left for another baby.

"I hope it happens, you'll be an amazing mother y/n. I can't wait." A loving hand over your, for now empty, stomach, you felt butterflies. Embracing him as he lay behind you, you both fell into a deep sleep, surrounded by dreams of your own little family.

@queenshelby @peakyscillian @ntmynouis @cloudofdisney @margoo0 @being-worthy