#and that using friendships and longing for friendships and prioritizing platonic over romantic is…apparently not normal.

[void-tiger]

Oxytocin low. Send hugs.

[ina-nis]

I cried a lot in therapy the other day because, apparently, things are finally working.

It just seems a little conflicting because... it doesn't feel like it. For example, when I was faced with a major trigger of mine and I didn't feel aggravated or self-destructive... I didn't feel much of anything, as if my feelings were numb or dampened. But the fact that I did not feel all those "bad" and familiar feelings, probably meant avoidance was not at play, and it was actually acceptance.

In the end, I'll probably not become this embittered and horrible person I fear I'll become, on the contrary, it seems like I'll become a very detached being - which was something I always tried to combat because it always felt like avoidance... the key difference here is that the "bad" feelings wouldn't even show up anymore, thus representing an actual change within myself, and an actual form of acceptance, I guess.

Well, the catch here is that the "bad" feelings won't show up, nor will the "good" ones. In the triggering situation, I acted more like a mirror for the other person (much like how therapists do! And it's no wonder my own therapists have told me I would make a good therapist myself ^^;), reflecting their own joy and happiness back to them, as if it were my own, and then being upset with myself later for being unable to feel truly happy for them.

The reason is probably because a trigger is still a trigger, even if the negative symptoms are not showing up, it doesn't mean it'll suddenly be a normal occurrence to me, and I can just act as if nothing happened or as if there was nothing wrong... there are many things going wrong and, as I've been saying over and over and over again, even with the absence of unpleasant experiences, they do not make up for the absence of positive ones. Those triggers will likely remain as triggers, for as long as I'm not able to actually work through them with positive reinforcement. But that's fine, I guess.

It's the point of acceptance, too. Getting through a helpless situation with as less damage as you can. It can't solve it, nor can it change things. It's just another tool to cope.

This is not how I wanted thing to turn out like, but it's probably the best I can do for now.

Hopefully, when I do have this acceptance piece as second nature, it will help me actually thrive and enjoy all other aspects of my life, that I have been unable to, due to the pain loneliness causes me.

The pain will still be here, obviously, it's just a matter of time and continuous effort to have this pain become something secondary, and I'll actually have space in myself for literally anything else. I'm sure I'll be able to do it. I'm in the right path and the treatment is, indeed, working. I guess it just feels a little bit scary because of the unknown, all those feelings and experiences being unfamiliar, but I'll get used to it, too, I'm sure.

I have given up some things, and I have gained several other things in return. Overall, I want to believe the sum of everything will be positive and I'll be able to have a good life and a good future, regardless of having the relationships I need or not.

I want to believe one day I'll be able to look back and think it was worth it.

I can't predict the future but if my own life up until now is any indication of upcoming trends, I'll probably remain alone.

I'll probably nurture close relationships with people that ultimately frustrate me because the romantic love I seek is not reciprocated.

I'll probably keep those platonic connections despite my frustration because I value those relationships and people, more than I value my own pain (because I know burning bridges over not getting what I want will truly keep me isolated).

I'll probably remain alone.

It'll probably be a pain I'll carry for the rest of my life.

I'll probably always be triggered by seeing partnered people and I'll probably walk away from friendships with people that prioritize their own romantic life, for my own sake and as a way to maintain my sanity.

I'll probably keep on yearning and hoping, too, knowing that it doesn't have to mean anything. I don't have to expend energy or time into hopeless things, so I won't do that.

I'll probably have this deep sorrow looming over me, and that's alright. I can still have a good life and a good future.

[gffa]

Hi!  I went through a similar phase as several of you--I never really connected the dots between my own aro/ace qualities and my gravitating towards the Jedi culture until someone else pointed it out and then everything just sort of clicked together in my head in a way that made so much sense. And I think it can be really useful to view the Jedi through this lens of aro/ace culture, not because people are obligated to agree to this interpretation (they absolutely are not obligated to do so!) but because it provides a framework of reference for why not being drawn to romance and/or sex is not a foundational flaw in characters.  That there might even be an entire group of people who find that to be really satisfying and fulfilling--I mean, look at how many people gravitated to this discussion (or were already here) in just one day on one person’s blog on one social media platform.  It’s not hard at all for me to think, yeah, I’m looking at us building aro/ace culture of our own, it’d be easy for an in-universe group of people to do the same, and the lack of romance and/or sex wouldn’t be them suppressing their feelings or lacking something fundamental about the human condition, either. That’s part of why the Jedi mean a lot to me--there are other things as well, I greatly value their “face the shit within yourself, acknowledge that shit, and then let that shit go, because holding onto it is poison that will hurt you”, as someone who came to the same conclusions long before I was ever a Star Wars fan.  I love the worldbuilding, I love the psychic space wizards aspects, I love how goddamned extra they are about everything, etc. But a culture that not only doesn’t prioritize romance/sex, but actively values other things and finds meaning in those things?  That we see they have friendships and connections all over the place, that they find joy and meaning in teaching their students (and learning from their students, just as much as they teach them), that they find joy in helping others and protecting others, that they love through different ways, that they love the galaxy around them, they love their brothers and sisters in the Force, that they love their community and their culture?  That they just don’t seem to really want love and romance? Even those that do feel romantic feelings (setting Anakin aside, of course) still find the Jedi path to be a fulfilling one.  Obi-Wan may have had romantic feelings for Satine (which was apparently fine, it’s about his commitment and where he places it, I’m pretty sure that was the whole point of the Obi-Wan/Satine relationship, to be a narrative foil for Anakin/Padme, where Anakin does prioritize his feelings for Padme over his morals and judgement, which results in disaster of epic proportions) but he is a fully realized character without them.  He loves--we see that with Qui-Gon, Ahsoka, Luke, Anakin--that he cares deeply, that he’s a compassionate person, that he lives a life that he considers satisfying.  He becomes a Force Ghost and we can see him looking out over Endor, at the things that have finally been set back to rights, and he’s happy. Even within canon, the Jedi that feel restless and like something is wrong in this galaxy, they’re not restless because they want romance/sex, but because they want to do more as Jedi.  They want to help more people, they want to do more good in the galaxy, and do you know how much that means to me?  That even those who are dissatisfied (setting aside those that leave the Jedi Order because they want to have romantic relationships, which are treated warmly by the Order and by the people who left, like Tula’s grandmother) don’t have to be shoved back into the same box so many mainstream properties shove the characters into?  That it’s not about how, oh, they want traditional nuclear families, but instead that they want MORE of what the Jedi are--more love as shown through service to others, more love as shown through helping others. Do you know what a relief it is to have a group of people who find fulfillment in the same kind of things that I do?  Friendships and helping others and learning/teaching about the galaxy around them and self-reflection/understanding and accomplishments the like?  That these are treated, not just as valuable, not even just as valuable, but more valuable to these specific people?  Without demonizing that they’re totally cool with other people wanting romantic love?  DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT MEANS TO ME? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT MEANS THAT THE JEDI DON’T REALLY SEEM INTERESTED IN ROMANCE OR SEX AND INSTEAD FIND SATISFACTION IN OTHER THINGS?  THAT IT’S NOT ABOUT SUPPRESSING YOURSELF, BUT THAT PEOPLE SOMETIMES JUST REALLY DON’T CARE ABOUT THOSE THINGS.  SOMETIMES EVEN LARGE GROUPS OF PEOPLE. That the Jedi aren’t just “hey, this one Jedi can be read as aro/ace, that’s neat” but instead the Jedi said, “Hey, how about an ENTIRE CULTURE that vibes hard with aro/ace culture?”  That it’s the one mainstream culture that I can think of that really can be interpreted to say, “You’re not just an outlier, but YOU’RE THE NORM in this fictional society.”  Do you know what kind of value that has to me, as someone who only has the tiniest scraps of representation for this character or that character who maybe might be like me, but are rarely confirmed and are almost always The Different One?  Do you know what kind of value it has to me that it’s not just one or two of them, but that THE CULTURE ITSELF is where I would fit in?  That they built an entire society where nearly all of them seem to be Like Me? AN ENTIRE SOCIETY OF PEOPLE I WOULD FIT IN WITH? Which isn’t even getting into the worldbuilding specifics that are so much fun to play with--like, can you imagine what it would be like to have this psychic connection to this vast field of energy in the cosmos?  To be able to sense the feelings of others around you, to feel their presence even when they’re halfway across the galaxy, to just know what they’re feeling?  To be constantly surrounded by the lights of those souls that are gently nudging up against your own?  The warmth and peace of the Jedi Temple that isn’t just what you see/hear/touch, but also what permeates your very thoughts, the soothing balm on your soul that it would be? Can you imagine what it would be like to have this in your head all the time?

A familiar sense of warmth, of belonging, of finding himself part of an endless lattice of connections that held him and everything else, each fixed in its proper place.  A Force. Romance and sex can be wonderful.  But they are not the sole defining qualities of what it means to be sentient or what it means to be fulfilled.  The Force being described as an endless lattice of connections and warmth, that sounds incredibly wonderful and human to me, that sounds incredibly fulfilling and like everything I could possibly want. That is what the Jedi seek and have found.  That is the foundation of their culture.  That is the culmination of their lives. This is why their relationships are so wonderful and I’m so glad that the iconic Jedi relationships, whether we as fans turn towards shipping them or not, whether we joke about how much you can read into them or not, are ones that are all about other aspects that are just as epic and important. Obi-Wan’s most iconic relationships are with Luke, Anakin, Qui-Gon, Ahsoka.  They’re all incredible ones and it’s not to disparage his feelings for Satine (I love them as a pairing, too!), but that his character is defined more by familial and platonic relationships being just as galaxy-shaking as romantic ones might have been in another story?  That means a lot to me. Anakin is, of course, driven by his romantic relationship with Padme, but think about how important his relationships with Obi-Wan and Ahsoka are, ones that don’t have to be seen through the lens of romance.  That the ultimate climax of the prequels was Anakin’s fight with Obi-Wan, a familial connection.  That the ultimate climax of TCW was about Ahsoka’s relationship with Anakin, another familial/platonic connection. Ahsoka is a rising star in the SW franchise and her most iconic connections are with Anakin and Rex, both of which do not have to be interpreted through the romantic/sexual lens, that are complete just as they are presented.  That even when she can no longer be a Jedi, even when that possibility is stolen from her, she still doesn’t need to be defined through romance or sex. Yoda has many important, iconic relationships and is such a central character to the mythos and mythology of Star Wars.  His relationship with Luke is one of the most foundational of the OT, his relationship with Obi-Wan is important when you dig further into the supplementary material, his relationship with Anakin creates some of the most memorable scenes of the prequels.  All without ever having him desire a girlfriend.  Hell, the movies had Yaddle right there and you know what?  She wasn’t Yoda’s girlfriend, he wasn’t her boyfriend, that’s not what they were to each other, because they didn’t really seem to have any desire for that. THAT’S ONE OF THE REASONS I LOVE THE JEDI.  They show compassion and care and love all over the place, but they do it through George Lucas’ views on how people should strive to be, and they do it not through romance, but through friendship and helping others and seeking greater understanding of self-knowledge and artistry through the Force, and none of that should ever make them lesser, just as aromantic and asexual people seeking those same things does not make them lesser. We are people who love just as much as anyone else, we have fulfilling and wonderful lives, I don’t know any aro/ace person who would really even want to change themselves, we find ourselves to be perfectly fantastic the way we are.  I don’t feel some part of me is missing, I don’t feel I’m less interesting because I’m aro/ace, I love being the way I am.  I love how much my friends and family mean to me, I love how much joy I get out of caring for animals or helping other people or even simply yelling about Star Wars with them.  My connections to people are just as wonderful as anyone else’s, regardless of how they’re not in the romantic/sexual category. And, so too are the Jedi.

[powerbottomblake]

RWBY and Masculinity

I love RT’s, and specifically RWBY’s take on masculinity so much. The show subverts all expectations wrt their male characters and their development, which is why the male viewers experience major cognitive dissonance between what they expect and what story is actually being told (and then have the gall to call it bad writing). Under cut because this has gotten so long so fast.

The two main male characters - Sun and Jaune - are subvertions of genre/medium staples.

Jaune specifically hits all the beats of the typical male self-insert in a harem anime: he’s catapulted into a world he knows nothing of, instantly establishes 3 different dynamics with 3 different female characters/archetypes - Cheery, Ice Princess and Hot Tall and Earnest - one of whom he immediately sets his eyes on, he’s surrounded by women that are a whole lot more powerful than he is (and arguably THE most powerful one is instantly drawn to him), he’s essentially powerless and dealing with self-esteem issues and is nondescript enough to be a vehicle for any male viewer to project themselves onto. Which is why you have a good chunk of Jaune’s fandom from V1 being the embodiment of the Venn diagram intersection bewteen weebs and incels like That, and why there’s so much harem fanfic revolving around Jaune. 

CRWBY have heavily drawn from anime when making rwby so I don’t think this was coincidental; they laid out the groundworks to subvert a specific trope. Male fans, however, bought into the facade and kept waiting for Jaune to essentially steal the spotlight, be the focal point of several love interests and get a power up that’ll let him be their own power fantasy to boot, but CRWBY took his character in the very opposite direction. 

Jaune makes a lot of mistakes but what defines him is how earnestly he learns from them and redeems himself. He apologizes for lashing out at Pyrrha as a result of his own feelings of inadequacy and powerlessness when bullied by Cardin and then accepts her offer to teach him, sincerely taking instruction from her and then taking inspiration from her strength. Once he realizes his seduction skit with Weiss is not only ridiculous but wrong, he instantly changes his approach and prioritizes Weiss’s wants and needs over his, giving her space and knocking sense into Neptune so that Weiss can have her “ideal” date. Jaune doesn’t get embittered about being essentially rejected and most importantly he doesn’t let it affect his relationship with Weiss. Both of them become actual friends from that point on, and we get to see Jaune develop a certain measure of emotional intelligence starting that moment, which becomes part of his skillset and is shown to be part of what makes him a good leader. One of the best examples is how he and Ruby team up in V6E1 to get the hunter on the train to turn the turrets off. Jaune heals the hunter’s wounded arm and gently assuages his fear, in clear contrast with Qrow abrasively manhalding an injured and panicked man and expecting him to comply. The writing essentially puts down the show of arms and props up Ruby and Jaune’s approach; Jaune specifically is the example of masculine leadership the writing looks favorably on.  

And that’s the kicker here: Jaune’s strength comes from his set of soft skills as opposed to traditionally portrayed masculine strength, which usually careens into toxic power fantasy land. His whole arc in V1-3 is about learning to shed any distorted notions of chivalry and strength and knowing that his end goal shouldn’t be to become a hero for the sake of it or to live up to societal expectations, but to do what he can and as good as he can for the sake of everyone. Jaune is a good strategist and he knows how to make the best out of everyone’s powers. He’s there to enhance how people use their semblances together. His big power-up, his semblance reveal is basically him getting confirmed for a cross between a cleric and a paladdin (DnD players amongst us please correct me if I’m wrong): he is the ultimate support, acting as a healer and an amplifier to everyone around him, and that’s why he’s a good leader. His power on his own loses its entire meaning: Jaune takes strength from the people he loves and endlessly, earnestly gives back to them, never once stealing the spotlight in combat because that’s not his role and that’s okay.

And as for Jaune’s romantic prospects, think Forever Fall established once and for all that Jaune’s already found the One and I don’t think we’ll see him get any other love interest, especially now that arkos parallels oz/salem and with how vehement CRWBY are about lancaster being platonic. 

Now Sun. I want to tackle a specific expectation I’ve seen from male fans and that’s about him becoming more significant to the plot by coleading/leading the new White Fang movement...which would be hijacking Blake’s storyline. Blake is the one with drive and a cause, she was literally born inside the movement and has since seen it get derailed AND was the one to reclaim it from Adam and give it a new vision, as opposed to Sun who apparently wasn’t even aware of the systematic oppression Faunus had to deal with on a daily basis outside of Vacuo. So why is Sun, who has exactly 0 qualifications for this job and no interest in it, still expected to get it by a good chunk of his fans? Aside from the pervasive misogyny permeating fandom culture, there’s a specific trope media has served to us for decades now and that’s of a Semi-Competent Male Hero with his Hyper-Competent Female Side-kick (Vox published an article about it a few years ago and I really recommend checking it out), where a male character who’s semi good at best and not nearly as well-versed into whatever field he shares with his infinitely more competent female sidekick somehow walks in and saves the day and most of the time the female sidekick also, unsurprisingly doubles as a love interest. Time and again, male characters get rewarded for being half as good as their female counterpart at best AND they get the girl most often than not. 

But Sun’s whole character is, again, the very opposite of this. Sun never outweighs Blake on her own narrative (as is literal common sense) and shouldn’t be expected to. Sun actually gets schooled into the Faunus cause by his more competent female counterpart, Blake acting as his mentor and introducing him to the fight and why it matters. Blake and Sun basically reenact the plotline of Journey to the West (Sun quite literally references it by calling it a “Journey to the East”) a story whose main character is the legendary monkey king Sun Wukong, who’s the mythical figure Sun’s based on. Sun’s arc about finally knowing the cause and fighting for the right reasons happens thanks to Blake’s guidance - which Sun earnestly complies with and never questions because he knows she’s the expert and he doesn’t usurp that spot from her - and never overshadows her own narrative. Quite the opposite, it builds up to her own arc as a future leading figure of the WF and face of the Faunus cause by having her politicize someone who has no real stakes in this fight even though they should have.  

And then even his endeavor with Blake as a love interest falls through, with their relationship getting entirely recontextualized in V4-5 where their dynamic gets rebuilt as a friendship. Incidentally, that’s when it finally starts actually developing, instead of being stuck in the V1-3 limbo of mutual fleeting attraction where they’re constantly missing each other’s cues because they literally do not understand each other on a fundamental level. V4-5 is when Blake understands Sun isn’t what she needs in a romantic partner, but she does need him as a friend and ally. And Sun, whose premise falls in line with the Nice Guy trope, actually subverts it: he never makes Blake’s emotional journey about him, never expects anything in return and gracefully bows out of the narrative (for the time being) without ever pressuring Blake into acknowledging or returning his feelings. He doesn’t agonize over the initial attraction not going anywhere and doesn’t expect to be rewarded for being a decent person; again Blake’s feelings and well-being are his priority because that’s what good friends do. Their relationship developing into a steady friendship is never a point of conflict between them, and it’s actually lived as a positive event for both. 

And then, to top it off, CRWBY parsed together every bit of toxic masculinity and wrapped it into a power fantasy package and named the end result Adam Taurus, who’s the absolute worst abusive piece of shit. Adam is every single thing bad about men as a power structure: abrasive, entitled, controlling, takes violence as an indication of power and doesn’t take kindly to his leadership/vision being questionned. It’s not really coincidental that he steals the power seat from a woman and acts like he deserves it in any way. But male fans were so starved for their power fantasy fix and traditionally masculine cool calm collected and complicated male character that they were ready to minimize/outright ignore the abuse he’s put Blake through and just how awful a human being he was just to be able to hard project onto him. And CRWBY’s answer to that is basically this:

TL;DR: RT says if your masculinity isn’t humble, nurturing, supportive, compassionate, selfless and earnest then we don’t want it.

[renataventsfeelings]

alright let me give you a scenario

person a and person b are in a relationship, they’re committed, they love each other, it’s for keeps

person a was, for all intents and purposes, a massively different person when person b met them, but it’s okay, person b still loves who person a is now and how much they’ve changed.  

( there is one slight issue.

person a is no longer interested/enthusiastic about sexual intimacy with person b. )

person b is for all intents and purposes, basically the same person they always were, maybe a little more jaded than they used to be thanks to some traumatic things that have happened the last few years.  having to distance themselves from bigoted family, friends and living with a roommate who was emotionally and physically abusive does that to a person.   their emotional level of trust and growth and empathy is severely stunted.

person a is still pretty easy to become friends with.  person b isn’t.

person a has grown very attached to another friend, and admittedly crushes on their friends kind of easily.  it’s more or less platonic, or so person a claims, but also admittedly has a very thin and blurred line between what they consider to be platonic and romantic.  they have never quite understood the idea of monogamy or only being able/restricted to loving only one person.

person b is more or less okay with this as well, given that they are prioritized, given that person a’s particularly close friendships are online and that person b’s space isn’t being intruded upon.  person b also has a single close friend that they also have feelings for.

person a, while not fully comprehending the idea of complete monogamy, has a very particular definition of polyamory and how they are okay with it.  everyone in a polygamous relationship must love each other the same amount.  if person b wants a polygamous relationship with a theoretical person c, person c must also ‘love’ person a.

(  note here, person a still has not absolutely clearly defined what level of ‘love’ a theoretical person c would have to hold for them, but has repeatedly stated it would not have to be 100% equal.  there’s been a lot of vague “essentially as long as i feel like can be included and appreciated and loved if i want the option” talk )

person a’s main friend crush needs a new place to stay.  person a and b both have space and resources to help take care of person a’s friend crush, hereafter referred to as ‘person d’.

person b and person d know each other, they’re friendly, they get along.  Person b is not interested in a romantic relationship with person d.  The only way that person a is going to get a potentially desired romantic relationship with person d is if person b is also interested and pursuing this.

which means that even if person d is willing to be romantically involved with person b, it is not a true poly-amorous relationship if person b is not interested.  if person a goes for any romantic relationship with person d, it officially becomes an open relationship which person a is, evidently, “morally opposed to” and “finds gross”.

person a was apparently under the impression that person b could have a relationship on the same level with person d and is admittedly thoroughly disappointed that this is not the case, and that under person a’s own definition of polyamory, he can no longer entertain the idea of having a polyamorous relationship with persons a and d.

person b is not at all opposed to the idea of an open relationship provided commitments and priorities are firmly in place and everyone is on the same page and, at the very least, friendly and getting along and happy.  person b finds this absolutely plausible and reasonable.

person b is also side eyeing someone with interest, a theoretical person c who person a has heard many good things about and is generally comfortable with but doesn’t personally know as a friend.  person b is absolutely adamant about not making anyone try to feel anything for anyone they might not want to, or might not be attracted to, or anything complicated like that.

person b is looking at this jumbled mess of puzzle pieces and feeling ... maybe a little used.  maybe a little manipulated.  maybe a little pressured.

maybe a lot pressured.

maybe person b didn’t communicate properly.  maybe person a didn’t communicate properly.  maybe person a shouldn’t have gotten their hopes up for a relationship with person d.  maybe person a should have been more clear about what they wanted.

maybe person b should get the fuck over the fact that the last time person b tried to make themselves feel something for a third party for the sake of person a, it went horribly, horribly, wrong.

maybe person b should try to get back into therapy somehow.

maybe person b should stop thinking about this for a little while and go play some video games and eat a whole pizza.

[nicholperiod2-blog]

10 inspiring quotes...(*plus 2 more because I couldn’t decide)

“But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it the most?” -Mark Twain

This quote inspires me to think about the reasons for my actions. More often than not, people do “charitable” things for their own good. Not just in the sense of getting credit for doing it, or getting volunteer hours for college applications, but also because “it makes them feel good”. People like to feel like they are doing something good for someone else, they like to be able to tell themselves that they are doing good for others, without having to put in work. It is easy to “pray for sinners” (donate small amounts of money, give away old clothes that you no longer need, etc), but nobody wants to “pray for the devil” and do something that may hurt themselves for the benefit of others.

“When students cheat on exams it’s because our school system values grades more than students learning.” -Neil DeGrasse Tyson

This quote doesn’t need much explaining, but basically it inspires me to advocate for change in the styles of teaching used in our public education system in the US.

“You cannot control the universe. You are the water in the river, not the rock’ Yeah, but actually, after a very long time, if it keeps going, the water will eventually shape the rock. You don’t realize it at first, but its happening, it happens every second. Yes, you’re the water, but if you can’t see how you changed the universe, it doesn’t mean you didn’t.” -unknown

We can’t control what universe we are put into (what the world is already like), but every small action we make shapes the world, so we do control the universe that we leave behind when we die. People, especially this generation of millennials, have been taught that we have to do something big to make change, but that it not true. Every small act of kindness can have a ripple affect, changing someones day for the better,

“Sometimes people use respect to mean ‘treating someone like a person’ and sometimes they use respect to mean ‘treating someone like an authority’. And sometimes, people who are used to being treated like an authority say ‘If you won’t respect me, I won’t respect you’ and they mean ‘If you won’t treat me like an authority, I won’t treat you like a person.” -unknown

This quote reminds me to treat everyone like a person and follow the “golden rule”. In our society, authority figures often, consciously or not, live by the last part of this quote. We have prime examples with too may people in the police force. This mindset leads to unnecessary injury and death of people who committed small crimes, or sometimes even no real crime at all.

“Do you guys realize that we can change our lives at any time we want. Like you could just go ahead and delete your blog, stop eating meat, shave you head, start running, tell the person you hate why you hate them so much, confess your love to someone and kiss them unexpectedly. Why don’t we do that?” -unknown

People forget how much control we have over our own lives. We become so used to our routine, and our society's rules that we wait and wait and wait for our chance to do something and it never comes and we look back on our lives and say that we missed our chance. But it is impossible to miss you chance to do something, because you are never too old to drop everything and go do what ever it is that you’ve been dreaming of doing. The only permanent road block is death. But as long as we are alive, we can do almost anything we choose.

“People get so caught up on one small thing they don’t like, like their nose or something. Things like salt and baking powder go into a cake and those things are gross alone, but the cake is pretty damn delicious.” -unknown

There’s a scene in mean girls where Cady says "I used to think there was just fat and skinny, but apparently there's lots of things that can be wrong on your body" as the Plastics point out their own flaws in the mirror. These two quotes remind me that we live in a world where we girls are constantly scrutinized for our bodies. We are taught to realize our “flaws” in our bodies and that we should “fix” them by wearing makeup and flattering clothes. We get caught up on the shape of our nose, the size our pores, the length of our nails and so many other minute things that we forget how amazing we are as a whole.

“Today in science we learned that you can never gain cold, you can only have an absence of heat; and it makes me think that maybe hatred doesn’t exist, and there’s only an absence of love.” -unknown

While I personal disagree with this reasoning, this quote inspires me to remember that for some people this is true. Their hatred is caused by lack of love in their lives. If our society valued love more, there would be less hate. And not just romantic love either. Our society has finding a romantic partner as the pinnacle of emotional achievement, but I believe that friendship and camaraderie and platonic love is just as, if not more important than romantic love.

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” -Albert Einstein

Though I disagree with the notion that everyone is a genius because it causes the word to lose its meaning (if everyone is awarded the title of  exceptional intellectual, then no one is exceptional. Kind of a paradox), this quote inspires me, as it does many others, to remember that I can’t be the best at everything, but I am good at somethings. I reminds me that I can be great at something, but i must find the right thing.

“When I was in the military, they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one.” - Leonard Matlovich’s epitaph  

This quotes inspires me to question the ethics of our government and the people making the rules. What are their priorities? Why do they choose to prioritize these things? It reminds me to keep informed and to advocate for things that I believe in.

“Being a pessimist is great. I’m always either right, or pleasantly surprised.” -unknown

This quote nicely summarizes my out look on life. I prepare for and expect the worst and hope for the best. It reminds me that there is nothing wrong with expecting the worst in a situation and in people so long as I am not bitter.

“Age is a unit of measurement used to identify how long you’ve been alive. It doesn’t gauge your maturity, common sense, or ability to handle situations or anything else.” -unknown

Young people’s ideas and opinions are often dismissed just because they came from a young person. This not only encourages young people to not voice their opinion, but it encourages them to not form opinions at all. This then feeds into a cycle of adults saying that kids don’t know anything about important issues because they don’t voice their opinions, and then the kids do and are told that they don’t know what they are talking about.

“When everything seems hopeless, you just take one day at a time. And if one day becomes too much, then you just take one hour at a time. And if one hour gets too much, just take one minute at a time... I mean, we might get a nuclear bomb dropped on our heads tomorrow and then discussing this is just a waste of time, so... the only thing we need to worry about is the next minute.” -Skam

This quote comes from my favorite show, Skam. In this scene Isak is talking to Even about how he can deal with difficult times that come with Even having Bipolar disorder. This not only a great coping mechanism for people who are depressed, but anyone who is overwhelmed with anything. When I am overwhelmed with AP and IB classes and where i will go for college and what job i want to get I think out just worrying about whats happening right now and dealing with those problems when I get to them. It inspires me to remember not to try to do everything at once because I often feel like I have too much on my plate because I am worrying about problems i don’t even have yet.