#and that time skip between s1 and s2??? nuts

[everythingisawayoflife]

WHY DO I NOT REMEMBER YOUNG JUSTICE BEING MESSY AS HELL?? I KINDA HAVE ISSUES WITH YJ AS A SHOW AND AM CONSIDERING DEDICATING AN ENTIRE POST TO IT!!

[power-chords]

I think I AM going to re-watch The Game before Westworld S4 because the only thing I could think about the entire time was how much Jonathan Nolan and Lisa Joy riffed on everything in that movie, soup to nuts. Fuck, and I'm going to have to watch S3, too. Why am I insane? Why do I do this to myself?

One thing I am definitely going to do this spring, whether I skip S2 or not, is re-watch S1. I have not done that since I rediscovered recreational marijuana last spring and I feel like I'm depriving myself of prestige television EPCOT if I don't indulge that specific frivolous pleasure.

I did Game of Thrones start to finish for the first time ever in 2021 and I had a BALL, it was the best possible way to experience GoT: stoned off my ass, osmotic knowledge of all major plot points but no particular emotional investment, zero social media echo chamber/torture device, no wait between seasons... I was like a kid in a theme park. WOW! Look at all this STUFF that is HAPPENING! Check out this acting! Holy shit, it's a dragon. It's three dragons!!! Can't wait to watch this evil child die. What is up with that wig??? Oh I love that guy, love her, THAT GUY SUCKS! Etc etc.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Ep 35 S4: Raphael Joins the Pile of Dead Bodies

Ah 2020, thankfully we have one trashfire somewhat behind us, but I’m still avoiding social media for so many obvious reasons because of all the other trashfires that just never seem to stop burning, so lets talk about Yugioh with all of this newfound time.

Ah, card games. Card games that go on for 6-7 episodes. Lets see how they pad it out:

In a lot of ways, Roland really is just padding for the show, and that’s OK. He’s doing his best, by doing literally nothing but stand outside and check the time.

Inside the dusty soul chamber, Tristan has decided to do us the favor of recapping what happened last episode, which included the return of our four dead friends, so that they could die...again.

Seto’s reaction to seeing these dead people suddenly alive again was very “guys...I went nuts like years ago, I’m just going with it at this point.” and he’s still 100% positive that this is all a hologram and that no one will ever die.

Whatever it takes for Seto to get out of bed in the morning, I guess.

(read more under the cut)

One of the big mechanics the game is that you need to stay level headed, or the Orichalcos just kind of slurps you up. This explains a little why Dartz is so freakin chill basically all of the time, just the Bob Ross of evil over there. It also is sort of funny because Pharaoh and Seto are the least chill people to have ever lived so he’s just kind of waiting it out to see whom between Seto and Kaiba gets the most angry first and completely botches it.

Yugi has to do literally nothing and for the first time in his life this is the right choice.

I’m so glad he gets to use his big brain move of “If I don’t play, no one dies!” from S1. Glad it came back to serve him for once instead of just make everyone else really annoyed.

Yugi just...not moving means it’s now Seto’s turn to put down some cards, and he kinda looks over at Pegasus and goes...well you know what’s gonna happen next.

I have no idea why he didn’t attack Pegasus. Like this episode is kind of weird because we got these flashbacks of Pegasus being like “you’re my only hope, Yugi!” and it’s like wtf, Pegasus trapped you on a murder island and tried to kill you multiple times. He abducted Mokuba and turned both the Kaiba brothers into cards.

yo did Seto and Pegasus get back together in between seasons or something? Was there a whole character development where these two have fun brunches in San Fransisco now? Because I would watch that anime. I would watch the anime where Seto and Pegasus are co-hosting Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, and just destroying every unsuspecting local restaurant they brunch in.

But are we just assuming that the eyeball did all that evil stuff from S1 and that otherwise Pegasus is a good person? Because like...he was a mess before he got possessed. He’s kind of a Yugi, he’s kind of a Bakura, he’s kind of a Marik...in that there’s a mess in that bean, and getting possesed just only amplified what was already there.

So, with his smug as hell grin, Seto surprises Dartz by only barely getting affected by this inescapable moral dilemma and Seto just very quickly deciding to do a murder. And then we get a little blimp throwback to S2 (S3? I don’t even remember at this point, since we’ve been stuck in S4 for an entire year. Thanks 2020.)

If blocking the shot when Marik did it in S3 or S2 or whenever that was, didn’t get Mai to like Joey, then it shouldn’t work if you do it a second time.

But hey, I guess it’s better than letting her perma-die. Although this show desperately needs to figure out how to use Mai if they’re gonna keep her around, youknow?

Like all ships are fine and valid here, ship whatever you want to your hearts content: I don’t ship at all, as you know, but I hope one day they give Mai a personality that is consistently likeable. I do want to like her because she’s like...good at what she does when she plays cards and can be that can be a fun “hey I’m a girl but I’m not a freakin ‘gamer girl’ you male chauvinist assholes” type of character. But, the show just...the show doesn’t know what they want outside of a little romantic tension that they legally can’t follow through because of a 5-6 year age gap with a teenager.

This show actively tries to destroy this ship, and then turns around and is like “oh shoot this ship is all we have.” This show tries to lift up Mai as a feminist icon one season, and then tears her down for being “too” feminist the next season when she decides to--youknow--kill Joey Wheeler because he made her feel weak or something when he saved her life. 

Like the show does a lot to explore weakness and strength, and how what we see as weakness is actually strength, and how what we tend to attribute as strengths is actually weakness, and how our modern career/school/success expectations set us up for failure, but I think they explored that way better with Seto than they ever did with Mai.

Could’ve been cool Mai, you could’ve been cool.

Anyhoo, that was my spicy commentary on a 10+ year old anime, good to get it off my chest.

Seto and Yami have the typical problem they have whenever they play cards together, where one goes completely rogue. Except this time, the one going rogue isn’t Seto, it’s Yami. He’s just like...I’ll make life for Seto very difficult and I will lose this game and I don’t even mind because I’m already dead, deal with it.

So honestly this is an episode where it’s just Seto demanding we kill a bastard, and Yami being like “but not THAT bastard” and Seto just shrugging and saying “I have to kill A bastard, Yugi! Just CHOOSE one!”

That actual line in the show (I forget what it was exactly) does infer that Seto thinks Joey holds him back, and that implication speaks miles about Seto’s insecurities.

HOW THOUGH..........what are you jealous of, Seto?

You’re better at cards than he is, he’s never beat you at anything. It’s not about who’s best friends with Yugi because...Yugi’s possessed so Yami is always going to take first place...

......so what could it possibly BE?

Seto doesn’t attend school anymore, is it about that? Is it because Joey is likeable? Is it because Joey pretends he has a much older girlfriend? I mean hypothetically, Blue Eyes White Dragon is WAY older than Mai so...that can’t be it.

.....what IS it???

Does the “friendship” he have with Joey make Seto too soft? Is that what’s holding him back? Because Seto doesn’t actually think he’s friends with these people and says that Yugi and co are “Mokuba’s friends” so like....

.....what are you talking about, Seto???

Is it because you’re addicted to cards again? Because that’s...sort of Joey’s fault because he was the one who told you he needed a ride to Jacksonville, and then let slip that the “King of Games” title was up for grabs, is that it?

Are you just tired of Joey asking you for a ride?

Not like it matters, because Joey survives, and Seto gets to feel like a complete asshole about it.

As Raphael (who is this purple blur here) motorcycles into the dome of souls, Rolands last words were

“You can’t go in there!”

which was the weirdest thing to say to a guy you just saw fall down a 50 story building a few hours ago. Raphael not being dead should be the thing Roland fixates on, but instead he’s seen so many people die and come back to life, that he’s only concerned that Raphael will get in trouble for trespassing.

Again, Roland is the only Kaiba that hasn’t died yet, and it’s because he’s the only Kaiba that hasn’t broken the law.

Dude. What if the reason Roland is standing outside is because he’s been politely looking for the doorbell to be let in?

...the players asking for death...like clockwork...and me asking for the end of this freakin game...we played...1 turn this episode...

This episode was 1 turn!

And you may ask...well what else could possibly happen to stretch this out and well...

Raphael dives in on a motorcycle to save the day. Which is an aesthetic, by the way, this huge man covered in like a dozen belts, doing a wheelie jump into a chasm of 1 million souls. that’s an aesthetic.

So he shows up, gets off his bike and I was like “Oh good, someone to maybe save Yugi saving Joey saving Mai?” And instead, I was...not given that.

Mostly Raphael is here because he ALSO wants to kill Dartz, and is like “can I join? I know you’ve only played like 1 round, just deal me a new hand, it’ll be fine.” and it’s like...we already played the Orichalcos Raphael, this is not a game of Uno, you cannot just jump in.

Dartz is sort of obsessed with how everyone around him has potential for evil except for him, the chillest human to ever be born, and I gotta say...when he’s in this room...Dartz has a point.

+++++++++++++RANT ABOUT BEING PERFECT FEEL FREE TO SKIP++++++++++++++

It is sort of nice to have the concept of an older generation (in this case 10,000 years older) fighting with a younger generation. To have the older, more typically wiser generation say “Listen, I kinda screwed the planet and the war economy and the prison system...and I’m gonna keep doing that...and you can’t stop me because you’re a bunch of hypocritical dumbasses.” and then the younger generation say. “We don’t care if we’re a mess, dude. We aren’t the problem here.”

I may be putting some recent topical STUFF into this mold here, but it is a nice little analogy that they made even someone who is such a human disaster as Yami and Seto “morally good” enough to fight Dartz. You don’t have to be a perfect Harvard Grad to fight the system, you don’t have to be an entirely problematic-free savior, you can be even as problematic as Seto Kaiba--just get rid of the dumb assholes trying to destroy the world. That’s all.

Like this concept is strangely prescient because in 2020 we’re in a weird time period where if you aren’t perfect, you’re not allowed to have opinions. You’re not allowed to make content. You’re not allowed to make change. This is mostly an online problem in places like twitter, but it’s a real problem--because in the end what you’re left with is no one that wants to step up to the plate because they know that they, too, are flawed.

And like not even just as a political thing, even as a creator, as an artist, I see this problem more and more with kids. Kids who are like “I am afraid to draw because what if I do it wrong and I get dragged on twitter years later?” or “I want to make a story, but I’m afraid to get cancelled because my fantasy story has problematic stuff in it? Am a bad person for wanting to write it?” And it’s like...what are we doing to young creators right now? Did we all fail humanities? How have we failed art and literature SO badly that we’ve come to this point that people are too afraid to even learn how to do it right?

Anyway that was a tangent, but like...you see the similarities, right? That if you really were as perfect as Dartz either politically or creatively, you’d be a freakin monster and would probably just tear down everyone else around you on twitter rather than lift other people up. It’s a stretch but eh, it’s been a while since I went on a good Yugioh tangent and like

---it’s not like I can say this on twitter---

+++++++++++++++END OF THAT RANT+++++++++++++++++++

So it’s at this point that Dartz turns to Raphael is like “I mean...we weren’t really doing anything else, and Yugi and Yami are playing so slowly...I guess I have time to bust your nuts” and decides to bust his nuts.

Oh hey, I was right.

And yeah, that’s still effed up. Dartz killed his Raphael’s family, left him on an island, and then adopted him later after forcing him to dig up their graves. Like...Raphael, that’s effed up.

He also did the same thing to everyone else (and for Valon he just kinda glazed over that really fast because we had to edit his backstory out of the English version)

PS at this part Mokuba started sweating bullets and Tea leaned over and was like “Is this true, Mokuba?”

And Mokuba was like “...yes.”

Because, I don’t think Mokuba can keep any secret from Tea. Like for reals, Tea may be the most dangerous thing to all of KaibaCorp if she wasn’t so distracted by Yami’s endless string of problems. Mokuba is constantly telling them all of Seto’s deepest darkest secrets and there is like nothing Seto can do about it.

The animation of Gozaburo turning into a beautiful Dartz was just a simple fade to white, but man--imagine if they had dome some crazy effed up animation where Gozaburo just whips back his head and he has ass length blue hair and long, luscious lashes?

Imagine.

Anyway, this was enough for Raphael, who was already our most gullible and unstable person on this show, to just flip that switch and go lime green like all those other minibosses before him.

Really glad we built up Raphael for him to just die at the door hahaha.

That was so freakin random.

OK then. Thanks for nothing, Raphael.

I guess we go to the next episode to see if we finally play another turn? We can hope for good things. But if we don’t play a full turn I will NOT be surprised.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[sly2o]

The 100 Ask

Tagged by Max... HOW DARE YOU CHANGE YOU URL NOW I GOTTA LOOK IT UP. @bellamy6lake

rules: answer as many as you want if tagged and then tag three more people OR just reblog it and treat it as a regular ask meme!! have fun xoxo

1. What would you get arrested for on the Ark? Honestly... I probably wouldn’t? I fall on the lawful side of the alignment chart a little too heavily. Like... I’d probably be the guard if I wasn’t recruited for engineering. 

It would probably be on some bullshit technicality where I didn’t realize I was doing something wrong.

2. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground? Nope. Again, lawful.  ... Although... I might have been convinced to do it for some food. I get pretty hangry.

3. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..) A cat. 

4. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be? JACAPO SINCLAIR COME BACK

5. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they? Ok here’s the situation: Clarke and Bellamy are driving, Jaha is peppering them with awkward questions, and me and Raven are in the back broadcasting these dummies to everyone back at Arkadia being like “WELCOME BACK TO THE LOOK AT THESE IDIOTS IN LOVE PODCAST”. 

OR

S2 Mt Weather squad. Jasper, Monty, Miller, Harper, Clarke and me. 

6. Minty or Briller? Minty.

7. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!): ... Lynne? .. Lyn? lol. 

8. Thoughts on Finn? So long and thanks for all the fish.

9. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does? I probably would have been convinced to cave by Raven.

10. What character do you relate to most & What character do you like the least not including the obvious ones like Pike, etc… I relate most to Clarke and Raven. The character I like the least... I think I found Luna to be the most frustrating (for exactly the reasons our mains were frustrated by her) but I still liked her. In S1 the answer to this definitely was Murphy lol. 

11. Describe your delinquent outfit: Uhhh don’t they all pretty much wear the same thing? Jacket, a shirt, pants... Not like anyone is running around in a dress. 

Yellow (ideally leather) jacket, black pants, purple tank top, snazzy earrings would probably be my outfit. 

12. Favorite type of mutant animal? Obviously Pauna.

13. What would your job be on the Ark? Engineer or Councillor. 

14. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked it? Yup.

15. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, then who would make the best commander? Yikes. Uhm... I think I have to steal Max’s answer and say Lincoln. To be honest... I would keep Lexa in this role. None of the other (grounder) characters have the right mix of vision, sense for politics, and physical capabilities. And before you come after me with “Luna” - think back to that quote from Jaha - “the decisions whittle you down, piece by piece”. Luna was whittled down without even holding power. I don’t think she would have made it very far as commander in that political climate.

16. If you were a grounder, then where would you live and who would be your mentor? Azgeda. Hopefully Roan. 

17. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty? Eat. Everything.

18. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? Ugh, this question is too hard. 

19. Who should be the Chancellor, if anyone?��Ehhh... As of S5... Probably Bellamy.

20. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod)What is the one thing you would snatch while there? Probably Maya’s iPod. Maybe a watch. Too many modern commodities wouldn’t be functional in The 100 universe (not much point of grabbing a laptop for funsies). Maybe a trombone. 

21. Do you think you’d have caught the virus spread through camp or would you have been immune like Octavia? I would have caught the virus. 

22. What would your grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint? Constellations for tattoos. Not sure about hairstyle... I can’t recall a grounder with short hair. Yes to war paint. 

23. Favorite quote? Skipping this one because I answered it in an ask the other day and can’t remember what I wrote..

24. Can you forgive Murphy for his actions? How about Bellamy? I guess so? You sort of have to in this universe. 

25. If one of the characters was in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning? Octavia. She literally won the Hunger Games. <-- Max is correct. 

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite ship? NOT INCLUDING CLEXA OR BELLARKE. Looooool. I don’t really have a least favourite ship? I dunno I’m not really invested either way in ships that aren’t my main ship. 

27. A song that should be included in the next season, like when Radioactive was? 

OK BUT IMAGINE THE BELLARKE REUNION HAS KNOCKING ON HEAVEN’S DOOR PLAY AGAIN??!!?????? I WOULD DIEEEEEEEEEEEEE

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time? First we would try to figure out how to get out. Then we’d probably fight because he couldn’t handle me being too bossy while insisting we keep work at finding a way out and he’s a pretty big pessimist. Then we’d get drunk. I’d definitely start crying. Then we’d have a bonding moment where he admits that my continuous trying to find a way out is actually helping keep him grounded. Then we’d just play lots of games between trying to find a way out. 

29.Opinion on Emori? Roan? I like them both.

30. Would you want to be an extra that is killed off in a brutal way? CAST ME PLEASE

31. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of? Let me be a bit controversial... Aurora Blake. I made an aesthetic for her the other day and had SO MANY questions. Like.. why? Why a second kid? Who are the other parents? Why is she like this? Did she ever get any help? How was she able to keep sane and keep this secret? What was she like as a parent? Basically I want more of the Blake family. 

32. A character you’d bang? hrmmm... yes. 

Tagging: @asroarke @rashaka @cullensleftbuttcheek

[trickfootpike]

leaving storybrooke.

ever since the cancellation was announced, i’ve been trying to figure out how to put into words all that once upon a time has meant to me. at first i was like, ‘i’m gonna keep a draft and write down all the thoughts i have about ouat until the finale & give my whole sordid emotional tale!’ but that......was a bit much for me also trying to finish up the semester at the same time. then i thought i’d go for a seven-day countdown - also not the smartest idea to try and pull off during finals week. so here i am on the day of instead.

so what up once upon a time. how you been doin’.

rhetorical question, i know how you’ve been - you and me, we’ve been together since day one. actually a little bit before, because you first drew my interest from a magazine spread the summer of 2011. you fell right in line with my being raised on my mom’s love for the 10th kingdom, and right after i’d grown out of reading the sisters grimm as a kid. i watched the pilot and fell in love by the end of the first scene, and realized i’d found something to stick with me when the clock struck 8:16. after an unsuccessful first confusion with tumblr, you’re what drew me to the platform after ‘skin deep’ aired and i needed to scream. the day that filming vids from the season 1 finale were shared and we all realized that joe & farming meant a lot more than they did 30 seconds ago was nuts, and i was a mess when emma kissed henry’s forehead and broke the curse.

an even bigger mess when the tv cut out right in the middle of rumple revealing why he’d thrown that vial down the well and i had to go digging for the full end of season 1, but y’know that’s not sentimental or shit, that was just annoying and that’s not what we’re here for today.

then s2 came around and we exploded exponentially. between ‘ask if we have avocado’ and the main cast growing and you getting on netflix, we went from a little dinghy to a whole fleet. you could mention once upon a time and people would actually know what you were talking about, and it was easy to make friends between everyone groaning about how many random breaks the show got that year. it was still marked by the same disagreements that were started in s1, but joining the ranks were the starts of ship wars - tho looking back at it now, i don’t actually remember being as much of an issue then. they were there, yea, but not an overwhelming issue; i actually don’t remember them becoming publicly ugly until marketing surged up for s3 and press articles started pitting them against one another. but i also view that time through rose-tinted glasses, so who knows.

besides that, tho, i remember s3 fondly. it started with what i believe would be found in photoshop’s toilet, and ‘going home’ was beautiful and the culmination of 2 and a half years of love. the nonsense died down when ‘quiet minds’ aired and there was actually a mutual agreement of respect towards everyone who mourned neal’s death. i’m gonna admit, you kind of lost your luster there for me for a while after that though. baelfire had been so intricately involved with the heart of the showing, and his death just felt like that heart was being ripped away.

but s4 was still wacky and enjoyable, and the finale made me so excited to see henry back in his spot of ‘only believer in a cursed land’ but with a twist. actually, deviating from that - i loved how every almost finale was about henry in some way. whether it was breaking the curse, him being pan’s real goal, operation mongoose, him acting out his mourning of his father and getting the world to believe in magic, or him getting the curse to break one last time and heading off to an epilogue that was, finally, his own story -- henry was the even greater heart of you and that was never forgotten. he got the most continuity in his development, and a lot of us got to grow up along with him in storybrooke, maine. i was 14 when i started this show, barely starting my freshman year of high school. 7 years later, and i’m going to be starting my senior year of college. henry was bleeding heart, stubborn optimism that just refused to die out.

it wasn’t any mystery about why he ended up my favorite character.

so where was i - oh yea, finales and going into s5. which... existed ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ hey bleeding heart and stubborn optimism may not have only been henry’s character but the personification of my relationship with you, but even the stubbornest glasses half-filled have to admit when you get an off year. the ball got dropped on dark swan, making an arc that could’ve been all about reconciling the grief emma felt for her childhood with her still trying to fully open her heart to her family, but y’know. the hets sell. i actually liked the underworld arc, but i was so burnt out from the first half that i couldn’t really get invested as i could have with a solid first half of the season. s6 was a much better improvement on stable quality, and the final battle is still up there battling for one of my favorite episodes. and then... end of book one. onto the epilogue.

i’ve always meant it when i’ve said that i feel sorry for everyone who skipped out on this last season. season 7 has been amazing. with the majority of the fanbase gone taking the bad apples with them, i haven’t felt this much peace in the community since season 1. everyone left were the people who had fallen in love with the heart of the show. the new characters were amazing - alice jones has made me cry, i still am so thankful to this last year for finally giving me a version of hook to genuinely love, because i hate missing out on a good thing but hook prime was just not a character i could get on board with. and everyone i’ve seen who started watching the season later has fallen in love with it too. it’s a good thing, it’s a love letter to the heart of the show, and it shows how much the people behind it have grown since s1. there were six years of mistakes. like, no doubt about it, there were just straight up mistakes. but they grew from them and kept working it until they knew how to make good on them. and i’m grateful for that, to see them learn and grow right along their audience, their characters, and this incredible piece of spiteful optimism that is once upon a time.

so. that’s how it happened. 7 years of once upon a time, of growing up from an awkward teenager to a child who can drink trying her best. there’s a lot more, like the friendships i’ve made or the relationships i fell in love with, but that’s the core of it. i am very grateful to have loved a show with so much heart in it, that was never afraid to be embarrassingly emotional or completely heartfelt about the concept of hope. there have been a lot of things that weren’t entirely genuine, but i think that the bookends of season 1 to season 7 were. this was the little show that could. and i’m very glad that i could have even some small part of it.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S3 Ep 9: So Tristan Died

Been resisting that springtime urge to buy a house plant and watch it slowly die while everyone else on my timeline posts beautiful terrariums and wallscapes. I have murdered nearly every plant I own, I have no idea why, I have killed several cacti. But I just found out about logees.com and y’all. Have you seen a rock fig? I want it so bad.

So, instead of wasting my money, I will write here and...not click buy on that rock fig. That beautiful beautiful rock shaped plant. That incredible and glorious miniature Deku Tree.

Also, this week Tumblr said that they’re extending the post limit size for text posts and like...there was a text post limit? Y’all I assumed these posts were hella long, (and in fact way, way, way too long) but like, I never capped a text post limit so...I guess I do all right.

So, switching over to Yugioh, we’re back with the Tristan-Duke-Serenity trio, who are still fighting over Serenity, the world’s most oblivious child. I haven’t gone over too much what their high and low points have been over these past like 5ish episodes but here’s what they’ve been up to, a refresher course of what they’ve been doing since Tristan drowned a Rhinoceros turtle in the lake.

1.) Serenity sneezed once and the Tristan and Duke had a big fight over who gave Serenity a cold

2.)

Sorry that’s all they’ve done. I really thought this would be a list when I started.

It’s been so boring that Serenity has decided this has been the best part of her tourney vacation (she is not wrong). And I just realized--she went to great lengths to get her eyes fixed and now she’s trapped in the VR zone and she doesn’t even need eyes to be here. Hell, if she gets trapped here, she’ll never need eyes again, she’ll have permanent perfect vision 24/7. We keep finding new alternatives instead of spending millions of dollars on Serenity’s eyes and the show kind of glazes over it.

Anyways, we learn a lot about Serenity this episode, mainly that Serenity is a little bit of a space cadet.

(Every episode Duke’s necklace is a little bit more simplified and today it is...almost just a cross. I look forward to seeing what necklace’s final form will be.)

Duke is supposed to be the antagonist of the three, but it really comes off that Tristan and Serenity have goldfish memories and somehow do not recall being launched down a hyperspace tube by five insane computer ghosts trying to consume their bodies. Most people would not forget that happening so like...it’s kinda hard not to side with Duke. Weird that the guy with such ridiculous hair is actually the most level headed person here.

And honestly, if Yugi had been speaking, then Joey and Serenity would have sobered up. Kind of a bummer that Duke doesn’t have the card cred, although Tristan was there when Duke beat Joey.

Like this episode was somewhat frustrating because Duke Devlin really is supposed to be incredibly good at cards, a kid who has only been beaten by the Pharaoh himself, and Tristan and Serenity sort of don’t believe him for some reason. Duke owns a version of the game they are playing. Like, he has ownership over Dungeon Dice and they don’t...care? It’s really weird, but it’s not like Duke has really done anything for an entire season so maybe he deserved this?

But considering that he’s been running for his life/kidnapped since they met up again 2 days ago during Kaiba’s tourney, maybe Duke just has no choice but to hang out with these people who do not respect him at all.

(read more under the cut)

Also, they’re still keeping it a secret that Duke beat Joey because...they’re still lying out of their ass for Serenity’s self esteem. It’s Season 3 and we’re still very concerned that Serenity cannot handle the truth. This girl was in a hospital for weeks and completely blind, I’m pretty sure if anyone can handle hard truths, it’s this girl. But, she’s very pretty, so better not spook her.

I am impressed that this random throwaway plot point from the beginning of S2 has come back to haunt us.

It checks out. This was about as much credentials that Joey had when he joined Pegasus’ tourney. I mean, Joey trained with Grandpa but Grandpa full on died in the middle of their training so...Tristan should have been fine this episode, he’s been interning with card people for like...years.

Anyways, this is where everyone else is.

And Noah decides to try his carrot-under-a-box trick that has so far worked on literally every child he has tried it on.

These kids cannot resist a door to save their lives--and that’s really the whole thing. If they resist the door, then boom, their lives are saved. But nah. Gotta open every door. So they enter, and behind this door is, you guessed it--their favorite place, the ever recurring supervillain of all of Yugioh,

Wow.

Anyways, the fourth of the Big 5 is here and he is a robot that’s gonna do some Russian ballet to the Nutcracker Suite.

Finally, someone who’s strong enough to safely do the ballet alongside Tea.

*I did not watch Gundam, I spent my Torrent days watching Cowboy Bebop and Love Hina and I remember none of it.*

Speaking of, Love Hina--that one probably didn’t age well, didn’t it?

Tristan just digging his own grave for no reason is basically the rest of this episode. Duke Devlin was their out. Duke Devlin has been primed to die for like a full season but then Tristan had to go and fight a giant robot like an idiot. Which is not a sentence I thought I’d be typing about Yugioh, the show about a haunted card game.

PS, I just remembered something. One sec, let me dig this up, something I wrote in S1 that at the time, when everything was about magic and soul snatching, seemed so outlandish that it would never actually happen.

I can’t believe that I predicted myself but at the same time was still just so wrong, because not only do they already have Gundams, they also are card playing Gundams.

This giant VR Gundam could just step on them, right? Like just step on them? I get that would be against Noah’s set of rules but like...

...just a little step.

And what’s even more nuts about this show, is that some things I knew going in, some things you can’t escape just living here on the internet, like Yugi being strapped to a saw at some point (I just didn’t realize it would be from...a clown and would have *such freakin large blades attached*, it was very sudden) and them dueling from the backs of motorcycles (which apparently isn’t even this show. Apparently dueling motorcycles is a spinoff and y’all...kind of disappointed by that). But Gundams? This universe is so zany that Gundams just went completely under the radar.

*this robot casually wearing a jumbo duel disc*

Faced with the reality of none of his friends ever take him seriously, Duke decides to find a weird compromise and asks for double duel. Thing is, this robot also can’t take Duke seriously, and so this super backfires.

Would it in fact simplify everyone’s dating life if we had a 1 in 3 situation? I mean it’s already a mess because we have two 3 in 1′s, but we could balance that right out with a 1 in 3. Then the math will be correct. Balance will be achieved.

And that was how Disaster Serenity sort of stumbled her way onto a dueling platform and killed her brother’s 2nd (3rd) best friend (4th if you count Joey’s rivalry with Kaiba).

Tristan, who’s job as a volunteer janitor is to clean up messes, could not clean up after this Wheeler hot mess.

This is a card now? OK. I see you, product placement. I see why you made Duke Devlin pick up a deck again. Just for this product. That’s fine. At least we did something with Duke Devlin. But we could have maybe used him at any point outside of dungeon dice monsters, ya? Like any point?

Anyway, Serenity explains that if they tell her exactly what to do, they will be fine, so the robot catches wind of this and does this move

Of course. Of course the abandoned warehouse is now full of lava.

Serenity doesn’t even know the rules since she was actually blind until yesterday. She recalls faintly that on the train Tristan told her the rules, and that there were stars on the card that line up with power or whatever. So she looks down at the card and goes “Ah! there are little stars on here!” she plays it, and she realizes that no one has ever told her that sometimes they are placed sideways. Basically Serenity playing this episode as a recently not blind woman would be like me playing cards as someone who fast forwards through all the shuffling.

It’s hard to say if it’s Serenity who caused all this or Tristan who didn’t just let Duke do his one job. Either way, Tristan will absolutely find a way to blame this on Duke until about the point Tristan dies. Between Tristan refusing to play ball with Duke Devlin who is actually a card expert and Serenity playing all of her cards the wrong direction, I’m fully ready for Tristan to die by the end of this episode. Boy had a million chances to just chill and let Duke do his thing so ya, kill him.

Anyways, here’s a desert brought to you by yellow ochre. A LOT of yellow ochre.

Was this also a background for an 80′s space anime?

At some point Nezbitt sat in a boat and watched Kaiba launch what appears to be nuclear missiles at a missile factory. Kaiba did say he needed to throw out the old and start over so like...do Marie Kondo the way you need to do that Marie Kondo thing, Kaiba. This clearly did not bring you joy.

Anyway, lets skip to the good stuff. That’s right this boy: dead because he couldn’t not.

As you all know, I’ve been looking forward to Duke Devlin dying for such a long time now. I’ve been waiting here, tapping my fingers delicately together all Mr Burns-style expecting that the only way they could possibly find a use for Duke Devlin--since they refuse to give him any cards--would be to die.

But guys. I forgot about Tristan.

(bro wants to point out that right above the dungeon dice card was the revive card that would have come in handy right about now.)

Truly unexpected, standing in between Serenity and Duke, the most killable of the Yugioh franchise, Tristan freakin died.

But most importantly, we’re getting very close to death 169 (nice). We skipped 69 proper (a shame) because *somebody* had to kill just a chunk of people at once, Kaiba. So...who’s it gonna be? Probably the Big 5 member who’s cosplaying around as a Sexy Fish? chances are good.

Anyway, if you just got here, we’re in Season 3, if you would like to start at the beginning in S1, click here to read my so many recaps of this show. I cannot believe how much Yugioh content is in this Yugioh show.