#and that they arent one of those woman and nonbinary (which they see as woman lite) spaces

[goosekid]

i transitioned specifically to go stealth and be that one just a guy in queer spaces that makes them feel more inclusive

[v3nusxsky]

hey! :) im basically copy n pasting from my original request i hope that’s okay!!

could i request a smut of emily (cm) and a nonbinary (female body) reader who uses they/them pronouns? and it’s reader’s first time with someone sexually (bc they have body insecurities and never felt comfortable with anyone else - feel free to change that though!) and Emily just takes lead and spoils them! also reader has a mommy / praise kink n overstim ;)) dom Emily and sub reader if that wasn’t clear!

Princess Treatment 18+

*Authors note~ happy birthday to my darling girlfriend @just-your-casual-nerd !!!! I hope you're feeling 22 ;) a gift as simple as choosing your own Kinktober fic as we can celebrate in December.*

Authors note 2~ I kinda don’t like this and I’ve never wrote for gn r before so I’m sorry for my mistakes

Trigger warnings~ praise kink overstimulation kink dom Emily sub r gn (afab) r body confidence issues body worship oral sex sex toys

Prompt~ see ask^^^

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Perfect is always such a strange concept for you. Really what is perfect? Just like the concept of normal. What would qualify? These questions were constantly swirling around your mind, but you were sure you didn't fit the answer for any of them. It's always so hard to see the models and celebrities, hell even the strangers on the street because to you, you didn't even come anywhere near close to them. And perhaps you never would. A fact you'd gotten use to, not really sure where you fit or in what box which had lead to deep rooted insecurities that would bubble away inside your heart and mind.

Emily, healed the pain in your heart. Especially on the bad days. She never pushed or got mad if you couldn't decide what felt you. Right even. Instead she'd sit with you and be your listening ear, guiding you through the waters of emotions that seemed to submerge you that day. Being Emily's partner was truly something you would've only thought could exist in dreams.

On the good and the bad days she was there, never asking for anything more than you were offering, and that helped for a while, but soon the fears of her getting bored by the lack of sex crept upon you. That's when you decided to work on feeling better, to be brave and attempt to make love to your girlfriend of almost a year. She was patient with you, only ever wanting your happiness even if that meant you never felt comfortable enough for her to touch you, it didn't matter, because she loves you for your heart and not just your body.

Today, Emily noted you were feeling a little more on the feminine sides of things, you would smile if she accidentally called you princess or her sweet girl, rather than recoil from those pet names and timidly inform her that today that just felt so wrong. And of course she respected your feelings and mostly stuck to gender neutral terms of endearments like "love, darling, sweetheart and baby." But today was the day, you wanted to finally let Emily have you, and for you to have her. To be finally one.

It all started with some drinks with the BAU to gain some courage before you started to get a little handy with the Agent. "My darling? Are you okay?" She whispered causing you to whimper and inform her you wished to hide in her neck. A small chuckle came from the woman as she resumed her conversation with Garcia and JJ. Soon enough you got bolder, simple kisses placed to her pulse point on her neck. The pure feeling and shock of the sensation had the dark haired woman choking on her drink. "My love" she murmured causing you to peak out from your hiding spot. "Mmm" you murmured, pupils dilating indicating to the profiler just what you wanted. "Are you alright?" Garcia was quick to ask you both. "We are okay arent we love? I just think they need to get some rest now, isn't that right baby?"

Following along with Emily's plan you bid your goodbyes, pleased at how everyone respected your pronouns of they/them, despite the slightly more feminine attire. "Emily" you whimpered on the drive back to your flat, you couldn't quite understand how you'd manage to survive so long without her touch. "Shush baby, almost back so you can change out of the clothes okay?" Change? No, she misread your signs, a slightly frustrated sigh left you. "I want to be yours properly not change" you whined quietly a beautiful blush covering your cheeks now.  Oh, the agent hadn't even considered that's what you were after, after all it wasn't uncommon for you to bestow kisses like you had in order to leave situations and keep up the pretence that you'd very much made love. "Okay my love, if your sure you want that. I want you to feel good sweetheart okay?"

That was how you found yourself, back up against the wall, as her lips roamed the smooth skin of your neck, biting sucking and kissing along their travels, Emily's hands trailing over your body as she murmured compliments for you. The woman had you feeling so good you couldn't wait for her to touch your bare skin. In fact you weren't below begging for it despite how much you didn't like your body, seeing Emily enjoying herself made you want, no need more. "Please Em, want you to feel good" you whimpered as she harshly sucked a nice sized hickey on your pulse point. "Oh darling, I feel fucking fantastic, let me please you? Please? I just wanna watch you so blissed out by my own hands. My perfect lover."

That was how you found yourself stripped bare on the bed, the self conscious feelings eating away at you now. But she chased them away. Hands and lips mapping your body as she spewed praise at every opportunity she could. "Please" you whined, now too far gone to care, just needing her. "Okay baby, just say the word purple and we stop okay?" She murmured and you nodded instantly. "I need words sweetheart" she chuckled still caressing your body. "Yes I will just for the love of god Em."

Emily's mouth was like no other, you weren't a virgin by any means, and you had your fair share of toys, after all you were human. But this with her was heavenly. Your own insecurities way to far gone to prevent you cumming on her tongue embarrassingly quick. "So good, you taste so good my pretty princess, so so sweet for me. My good baby" she praised licking her lips as you allowed your breathing to regulate, the brain function to be self conscious had been fucked away well and truly. "More?" You whimpered causing Emily's eyes to sparkle with delight. "Of course my lover. Anything for you my love, so Damn perfect; doing exactly as your told aren't you love?"

From here Emily introduced you to her toys, some were vibrators for your clit other dildos including a wireless controlled one, and did she enjoy telling you just how she planned to use it in you. Buy your favourite had to be her cum filled strap. Not something you were ready for, but the idea of soon was fuelling your intense arousal. Emily had you cum again for her by using her little clit vibrating toy, until you were screaming her name and your juices gushing from your core.

In the foggy haze you realised she hadn't cum, you hadn't touched her, yet she informed you that tonight's just for you. Her special love, and you can always touch her at a later date, right now she wants you to feel loved, wanted and so special. That's exactly how you felt falling asleep on her chest minutes after she finished cleaning you up and giving you some water. For once your insecurities were silent.

Word count~ 1314

Tag list

[sanguinaryrot]

one thing about me is that I don’t really identify as nonbinary and prefer the genderqueer label mostly because I prefer words with longer histories and established cultures and genderqueer has just been used longer and you can see it in vintage buttons and publications but also because I prefer words that are emphasize what you ARE not what you ARENT. it’s not that my gender isn’t man or woman it’s that my gender is QUEER. And in a sense it makes me hmmm about identifying as agender because it does definitely emphasize what you don’t have. And sometimes that makes me want to identify as neutrois instead. I realize that Technically agender is not having a gender and neutrois is having a neutral third gender (hence the name) but a lot of people just use them completely interchangeably. Especially because at least in my experience it can be hard to tell the difference between the two experiences. I personally think I just don’t have a gender but I also resonate more with the terms transneutral and gender neutral than transnull or null in general. Neutrois also has a longer history of being used than agender, if just by a little bit and like I said that’s appealing to me. and in my weird little mind there is something of a trifecta of my name being Vincent, my pronouns being thon/thons and my gender being neutrois. Like that just feels like the perfect set of identities to me. They’re perfectly aligned and reflect each other in the perfect way. Everything as it should be. But agender is more widely known and even if you didnt already know what it was, using your knowledge of prefixes you could easily tell what it is as opposed to neutrois, which would be tricky. Additionally as someone whose expression is fluid between faggy and dykey, it makes more sense to say fruity faggy femmey agender bear and testobutch guydyke agender than it does to use those descriptors with neutrois. At least to me. I’ve been identifying as agender for a long time now and I’m perfectly happy to keep doing it but sometimes I’m like. I love the word neutrois and consider using it sometimes instead of or in addition to agender. Okay bye 🤍💚🖤

[yabukikun]

one of the worst things that discourse has done is drive a wedge between two subgroups of the same group to the point where simply being like oh, i go through that, too! is seen as like an insult or shitty as opposed to common ground upon which we can both stand to work together and improve things. i guess i get it to some degree, although sometimes it feels like it just treated like a lie whenever a trans man expresses that the world has made him feel the same way about himself that a trans woman has been made to feel about herself, or that its actually correct for him to feel this way, or even that if he feels the way he does, its because of some personal flaw, which does suck to experience, im afraid to say. it will always suck for everyone ever to have people who dont know them make assumptions about the falseness of their claims because of how they were born.

i dont want to annoy transfems or derail their conversations, but its also like... there most definitely is a perception that trans men dont encounter similar and oftentimes the exact same legal, medical, sexual/romantic, and mental challenges-- because those challenges are simply aspects of general transphobia that affect all of us, or at least binary medical/legal transitioners-- i imagine there is quite a bit of diversity in the experiences of nonbinary people depending on their contact with the trans healthcare or trans legal processes. i think we all have to deal with the feeling of being unwanted by society, being unlovable, being apologetic for our existence and especially for our humanity, at least insofar as having needs and wants and emotions are concerned. even writing this all out, i just feel bad that i cant leave it alone, and that i should not even want someone else to see me for what i am, a vulnerable, hurt, neglected, abused, fucked up faggot, because that might make them feel like I'm trying to force them to love me. you dont need to love me, nobody does lol.

and i certainly dont think its a denial that happens maliciously out of the badness of transfems hearts (because im not an idiot) as much as it is the natural outcome of the tension and the stupid posts wherein transmascs argue that they experience transmisogyny, or even that its a unique form of oppression they experience in some way. like, yeah, if the only context in which you see trans men/mascs claiming to go through the same things you do to the point that they can confidently (erroneously) state that they experience transmisogyny, you're going to be skeptical of all such claims (even if they arent trying to argue anything except that these experiences are the result of general transphobia) but even so. even if there could be a victor in this situation somehow who could ban all trans men/mascs from talking about our experiences, those experiences will still happen, lol

i reblogged that post because its how i feel every day of my fucking life but i decided not to tag it expressing that i feel exactly this way bc im sure that i would get yelled lol

[questioning-culture-is]

Hi i was wondering if i could have some help regarding figuring out gender?

All of the resources ive found dont really help and while i know labels arent required they make me feel more comfortable bc theres other people out there like me if that makes sense

I identified as a lesbian for years until i addressed the awful feeling some parts of being addressed as afab like i hate she/her pronouns and feminine clothes and being called ms, but i like being called someones girlfriend and just being a trans guy doesnt feel correct nor does demi and I really like he/him pronouns

I like men conceptually but not in actuality and i just don’t really know how to describe myself but id like to have a word.

Any advice or suggestions?

first of all I'd like to mention that gender presentation doesn't equal gender identity, so you can be a woman and use he/him or be a guy and someone's girlfriend.

I would try using more broad labels at first and see which parts fit you and which don't. So maybe nonbinary, or genderqueer, or gnc (gender non-conforming) work for you. Or something like genderfluid or multigender. Just finding one aspect of your gender that you know can be a great starting point (for example knowing you aren't a girl or guy is a good starting point so then figuring out whether your gender changes might be a good next step, or whether it's multiple, one, or less genders). And if you feel like none of those terms make it any easier you could check out xenogenders.

There are also a lot of people who use lesbian (and similar terms) as gender identities and don't identify further, might fit you too.

hope this helps

-toni

[strawberrybouvine]

I'm honestly curious, what are your personal headcanons for the mane six's pronouns? I love hearing what everyone thinks :)

Oh yes ! I love pronoun headcanons !! :D

Twilight Sparkle - She/Her - most comfy with feminine pronouns ! Never really thought about using anything else, so she just goes with what's shes use to. Doesnt really mind neutral ones but again is most comfortable with she/her.

Pinkie Pie - They/She/Neopronouns - primarily uses neutral pronouns but switches up daily really. They use a variety cause she feels like xer gender is incredibly fluid and can change on a dime. She wears an "ask me about my pronouns pin" alot so xe can help others when they switch her pronouns out !

Rainbow Dash - She/They - nonbinary woman RD owns my heart. She uses mainly she/her but switches when they want and prefers people switch up which ones are used for her.

Fluttershy - They/Them - I see flutters as agender ! they have a hard time correcting people but they do only go by they/them. Fem pronouns arent a big deal to them if use them but they do feel bummed when people use she/her for them all the time. Luckily they've gotten better at standing up for themselves and have their friends to help them gain confidence into their pronouns !

Applejack - He/She - butch/gnc enby AJ !!!! He does ID as a woman but theres something about masc pronouns that hit different for her ! She uses primarily masc pronouns around those shes comfy with and expects his close friends to switch up with fem pronouns but she'll use primarily fem pronouns with people he doesnt know.

Rarity - she/her flexible - gender is performance, darling, and she will kill it ! She uses fem pronouns primarily and doesnt really switch to neutral much but she does like to experiment with her pronouns as much as she does her fashion. She treats pronouns much like an accessory and will match with whatever shes feeling at the moment.

[juiceastronaut]

Okay so. I watched Q-force. And I have no idea what I think about it.

Imma just be rambling so I'll break down the characters and my likes/dislikes about them before giving my plot breakdown at the end. Only the main/prominent ones because I don't have time.

Steve Maryweather-Easily the best character out of them, with Deb being a close second. He could've very easily fallen into the trope of being someone who was incompetent but expected the world anyway, but he doesn't. He graduated top of his class, and despite his quirks is a genuinely competent team leader, and wants the best for his team. He wants to prove that he and his team are competent enough to get recognition, and has a genuine faith in the people around him. It was refreshing to see him hold his team in a genuine high regard, where a lot of times it's like "We're shit but lets do this thing now" He's a genuinely well-rounded character, and (and forgive me if this isn't the best way to frame this) it feels like being gay is an important part of his character, without encompassing the whole thing. I thought Benji and his relationship was super cute and I was sad when they broke up. I was afraid he was going to be, like a second but worse Twink with the stereotyping but gladly fell away from that.

Deb-I thought her and her wife were super cute (though I hate how the wife is designed ngl adjafkldajfd). I liked Debs character, but I feel like she had a lot of racial stereotyping that wouldn't be inherently obvious unless you were looking for them, her being the strong one, and also the "mama" type at the same time. No one treated her with disrespect, and her lesbianism seemed to be more authentic but I feel like there wasn't a lot of thought put into what these tropes were and why they were bad. Her being black and making her the mama type, as well as the big strong type could be read as tasteless. Again, I really liked her character but these were some things I noticed while watching.

Twink- You know, I didn't really like him at first, I thought he was the epitome of all the bad stereotyping (though I'm just glad him and Mary didn't get put into the same category). His humor isn't my taste, and it just kinda seemed like someone for half of his lines went "what twitter stan language can we put in here?" And sometimes it was a bit too random for my tastes. However! I do like that his drag was considered important and was an integral part to a lot of missions they went on, and not just "Ah look at that dumb gay trying to find reasons to dress in drag." His talents and expertise were both respected and, save for Buck (which his whole point was supposed to be offensive anyway) no one undermined Twink for his femininity. His back story is also kinda random but did play a role in the missions as well. Still, personally think he's the worst character. Plus, he's French so minus four-twenties amount of points.

Stat-You know, in a show where everyone was stating what letter they were every few seconds I was surprised that I had to look up that Stat was trans. I...liked her character for the most part, except the part where she was fucking a robot. Kinda weird ngl, outta left field, and with her being trans I wonder if her having that sort of relationship is problematic for her. Love her design tho, love me a hacker girl. She's also listed as "ambiguously gay" tho showed to have mostly girl love interests but, okay.

Buck-He's the straight guy, emotionally repressed haha and he's bigoted. Did think it was funny later on when he was more "accepting" but managed to be even more infuriating about it. Tied with Twink as worse character but you know they tried to do stuff with him.

Vee-Really liked me a boss lady, but kinda weird how they bait-and-switched us with her actually being a lesbian, then go "no she's straight tho" in regards to Karen. I thought her and Mary's relationship was cute, wish I saw more of it. But she did feel like a random plot device in later seasons, what with her disappearing and reappearing when it was plot relevant. (Tho she HOTOHOTHOTHOT bikini episode WOOOWEEEE)

....

Okay, so now the plot....which. it had one?

It felt like it was flip flopping back n forth about whether it wanted to take itself seriously or not, and it seemed to decide on serious more towards the end, but then it would have this random plot element that would be so out of left field it would pull me out of my suspension of disbelief. See the whole "Back cracking to unlock memories" plot point. This back and forth on whether it would be a comedy or not I think weakened both categories it tried to play into.

If I had to compare the show to anything it would probably be Futurama, but the thing with Futurma is, its set in the future, so you're suspension of disbelief is allowed to stretch a bit more because all the wacky quirky stuff can be attributed to future shenanigans. Q-force, to my knowledge, is set in the modern day, which makes the wacky stuff that much wacker, because it's set in our modern times, which you apply the rules of everyday life to.

A lot of the problems that I had with Q-Force is, in the attempt to write specifically about the "gay experience" revealed that the writers have really only had a very specific experience of interacting with gay ppl, what I call the "Urban Gay" experience.

The fact they're in West Hollywood, and all the things that were listed as "universal gay experiences" but were only things that you'd be exposed to if you were in the city. I think a flavor of "white gay" can be implemented here too, which Q force has exactly one black woman, who manages to be the only lesbian.

That coupled with the fact that, there's a difference between having Twink naturally being a drag queen, the whole team being gay to some degree, and the fact they interact with the gay community often without Drawing Attention to all of those things and self-congratulating itself on concluding it. Funnily enough, Q-Force had examples of doing this right and doing this right. Right way: In the second or third episode where Mary found that guy with the flash drive to the uranium in it and seduced him in the gay bar. Relevant that it was gay without overtly drawing attention to it. Wrong-Way: Having Pride go on while Girl Boss was trying to take over the world.

And, for the show that promoted itself as representing the gay experience, there were...two gay men, one lesbian, one trans person, one straight guy and...no bisexual people. Also no nonbinary people. Like of course it's unrealistic to include every single identity but you're one bisexual person who appeared for one episode and was promptly blown up. And also showed to be...more off than the other characters, what with the stealing of silverware and all. Just, bisexual people are already forgotten enough as it is and not including them in the show, but you include two gay men just kinda reads as tasteless to me (as a bisexual person, obviously).

Which makes it so weird that Stat was left "ambiguously gay" when she could've easily been bisexual (which still would be problematic because of the robot-fucking but at least you got the B in there somewhere in the main group)

Overall, it tried to market itself as the "be all end all" of what it was like to be gay, but ended up excluding the exact people that get excluded in real-life lgbt spaces. This combined with the indecision with what kind of show it wanted to be managed to make it fall short. If you arent the very specific type of gay person who lives in a city environment and doesn't fit the stereotypes showed you're not going to feel "seen" by the show.

Weirdly though, I didn't hate watching it, and I would probably watch another season if they managed to make one. The parts that did work, I think worked really well, and even the bad parts just read as tasteless, and not actively terrible. If they focused less on making "hey I'm gay" jokes every three seconds and just let each character be what they are I think the show would be stronger for it. And I think they'd find less problems overall if they did that too. In the mean time I'll just be here side-eyeing the whole thing.

Edit: I forgot to mention, and this is a problem a lot of adult TV shows fall into, that because they got the clear to show nudity/sex they felt like they *had* to show nudity and to a lesser extent sex every episode. So just that whole "Haha adult=sex obviously."

Oh! And this generally goes for the whole "shove it in your face" part, but a lot of the characters who are bigoted were shown to be. Very blatantly so. And not to say there isn't blatantly bigoted ppl of course they are but I don't think that's where you see a lot of bigotry nowadays. This was sort of touched on during the show but more of a jokey manner, but I think it would've been more realistic if we had more "girl with a gay best friend" kinda bigotry as opposed to the "I'm literally hurling slurs at you" bigotry, especially since they're in Cali.

[cowbot-lumberjane]

Long post about something I think about a lot and that doesn’t matter to anyone else but me probably

I’m sure there’s a million posts out there on why good representation is important and good but I just wanted to talk shortly about something that happened to me in a recent span of a few months involving a character in a dumb game about collecting jpegs of anime women and hunky dudes with giant swords.

There’s a game called Granblue Fantasy, its an extremely popular gacha game/JRPG with a very large roster of characters and a lot of stuff to do as far as reading through character lore, fighting JRPG battles, raids, and basically playing VNs for character dialogue. It’s a pretty good game, and one of the coolest things about it, is it has (to my knowledge, I dont play/keep up with it very often) 2 canon trans characters. One is named Cagliostro, an alchemist who was born as a man but through extensive experimentation and some self discovery has since transitioned into a woman, hell bent on making herself as cute as possible. Fun right? She’s presented extremely well and is one of the game’s more fun characters. The second character is one that has become a personal favourite for me for many reasons, her name is Ladiva.

Ladiva is a part of a race of people called the Draph. The Draph are a humanoid, and pretty much human looking, race of people with their defining features being their large stature and bovine like horns and ears. This is important because male draph are usually much larger and more muscular than female draph (but its a horny anime game so who can say they’re surprised lol). Ladiva, as my discussion here makes obvious, is a trans woman belonging to these folk. Because of this, she’s both quite large, muscular(and more masculine presenting on the surface), and has rugged looking facial hair. The surprising thing about her presentation in comparison to how she looks, is that she’s presented incredibly well. despite her appearance being not as feminine as it could be (with Cagliostro even offering to make her a new totally feminine body only to have Ladiva refuse, stating that she should love her own body along with the rest of herself) she’s treated as what she is, a woman.

So why am I talking about this? Why am I putting my poorly put together thoughts on this tumblr post no one will read? Well, I am trans. I have felt a certain way about myself all my life that I’m sure most trans people can echoe so I won’t wast time waxing poetic about how I’ve always felt more feminine than I was “supposed” to be. My core purpose of this post comes from the fact that I am 6′2, nearly 300lbs of muscle/fat/body hair, and have had a full beard since I was 14. I am EXCEEDINGLY masculine, which has made my own internal struggle with my transness sort of difficult to accept. A sort of constant push and pull of wanting to just repress it all because I already pass as a man and wanting to work towards being who I know I actually am. Another factor is that I never felt truly comfortable with purely feminine pronouns. In highschool I went by a different name, and I used she/her pronouns and for a while it felt okay. But it was always just, okay. It never felt right on top of several people giving me some rather hurtful backlash for it and how it contrasted so much with my physical appearance. So I stowed it all away until about a year ago. I now have something that I didn’t have before, a truly wonderful and supportive group of adult friends who treat me like an adult as well and take me seriously. So through careful examination of how I felt i began trying new things to explore my identity. It began with me deciding I wanted to use they/them pronouns, this stuck and still feels like its the right thing for me along with the label of Nonbinary. However, slotting myself into this new label and finally feeling comfortable in an identity brought about new thoughts as well as new things to mull over in my head. Things like the fact that most nonbinary representation in media falls under the same category of a waifish AFAB person who presemts femininely if not androgynous, and how people like me are a vocal minority within the community itself even being excluded by a small portion of it. It was a new set of things to tackle and think about. But that aside, with them came the most important thing I asked myself, “am I comfortable with how I am now? Or do those thoughts I had all those years ago mean something?”

This question isnt easy. Gender is a strange subject and is different to everyone who experiences something with their identity, so I wont pretend like I have any definitive answers for anything because, there arent really any of those. The question for myself, boiled down to “Am I more comfortable identifying as transfeminine, or am I comfortable with just being nonbinary.” This question vexed me for a little while. It hurt to think about. A lifetime of bullying and being made to be ashamed of my body type and stature had made my confidence in myself rather lackluster. This made the decision more difficult. It would be easy to try and own a sense of pride in being a masculine presenting nonbinary person. There aren’t many of those in representation as I mentioned before, and at the time it made me feel nice to think that it was what I wanted. But those thoughts I had all those years ago did mean something, and thats not who I am. The answer I ultimately came to, was that I am trans, and want to present more feminine than masculine, because that’s who I know I am, and not just what I think would be easiest. So, to bring it all together, how the everloving fuck does this relate to a character from a gacha game? Well, when i first saw Ladiva I nearly wrote her off as a character that probably was used as a disrespectful  joke on trans women and how they’re viewed. She’s not though. She has an entire montra of loving herself and others for who they are and owning every aspect of herself, including her body. She’s not a small lady, she’s a large/muscular wrestler who, in no mistake of words, still looks very masculine, right down to her facial hair. But none of that matters, not her appearance, not her beard, not her height, she’s still a woman and she’s seen as one by the others around her because, well, that’s what she is. She makes it known and others accept, or at the very least, respect it. It was something entirely new to see something like this in a form of popular media, and in turn it gave me an odd sense of self confidence in my own current appearance, even though I do intend on changing it through HRT and other means (exercise and other health related means). It meant a lot to me to see someone who was, in at least some way, like me who was loved by the community of the game she was in. And it still does. In conclusion, Ladiva is a very cool character, and her existing gave me a boost of confidence that helped lead me towards accepting things about myself that I had found it hard to previously. Go look into Granblue if you like games like that, there’s even a fighting game that came out not too long ago. Thanks for reading, if you did, this whole post is long and kind of dumb because I’m kind of dumb. But I wanted to put it somewhere. Have a nice day <3

[lesbiradshaw]

Genuinely interested in what you think about Bucky being perceived as female-coded in some parts of the fandom. I read that thread years ago and agreed with because it sounded logical, but now I'm not so sure. Recently found out about the existence of this Tony Stark meta essay called "Tony Stark as the most female-coded superhero" and they use the same arguments: loss of agency, playing the damsel in distress role more often than their counterpart, etc. I can't take "fm-coded" seriously anymore

oh boy ...

idk how long this will end up but to preface whatever we do end up with: 1) im a nonbinary lesbian so my perception on what it means to be a woman and femininity in general is not going to be what a lot of other peoples is and 2) im a few months out from getting a degree in gender studies. take that for what you will. no i will not be arguing about this in my inbox.

to be frank, in my opinion, bucky being female coded is bullshit. not only is it bullshit, i have seen it used as a weapon by so many white women and terfs that even if it were true, i wouldnt care! whoever came up with the term “woobify” (which i have most often seen used in reference to how tony stark is treated) needs to tell bucky stans that they aren’t exempt. a lot of them see bucky being a victim as something that needs a continuation into every other part of his life, hence why he’s so often put into these weird dynamics with his ships and given traits he’s never displayed on screen.

i keep thinking of disclaimers to make in anticipation of people coming to my inbox crying so here’s another: if you are a woman or someone who feels a close connection to certain parts of womanhood, me saying bucky isnt woman coded in no way takes away from you identifying with him or parts of his story. that is personal. a woman’s personal relation to him is not reliant on “woman coding” as i’ve seen a lot of white women and terfs suggest, not does it strengthen the existence of such coding. coding is created within the original media, not within the fandom.

i also just realized ive been using the term woman coded rather than female coded, but i think subconsciously there is a reason for that that ties into one of my main points pretty well: the mcu stan’s definition of “female” coding relies on stereotypes, not about female roles, but about what it means in their opinion to be a woman. the issue with this is they take traits they think only exist in (cishet) women and use them to deem these (cishet) male characters as woman coded when in fact these traits are not exclusive to women and enforce weird standards upon people who are women that might not be cis or het or share these traits!

tony stark being short and bucky having long hair is not what would make them woman coded. bucky being rescued by a man while woozy is not what would make him woman coded. bucky being submissive to pierce when LITERALLY BEING BRAINWASHED is not what would make him woman coded. and perhaps a harsh wake up call: bucky’s story hinging around loss of agency issues and trauma in no way shape or form is what would make him woman coded. does it perhaps make him easier for many women to relate to? yes. but is this something exclusive to women? no. a vast majority of trauma victims are going to relate to him, and chalking up trauma to being something female makes me feel really funny.

i know exactly what thread youre talking about lmfao and its right up there on my shit list next to the childlike bucky post. theyre actually very similar now that i think about it ... but anyways. now that ive listed my woes about what doesnt make a character woman coded, what actually would! AND HERE IS WHERE WE GET INTO AN ACTUAL CASE OF WOMAN CODING! mr prequel series anakin skywalker aka my shakespearean downfall dilf. why is he seen as a valid example of woman coding? i will tell you.

the thing about woman coding is that its meant to subvert heteronormative tropes while remaining self aware of that to exploit and emphasize the change. DO YOU HEAR ME? SELF AWARE! anakin is given many of these stupid stereotypical traits i mentioned before, but they arent reliant on physical appearance at all. they are reliant on roles. padme is the levelheaded senate leader, the one with power and stability, while anakin is hotheaded and frankly a bit whimsical while he struggles for his own type of power and control. another classic example of woman coding (which i actually wrote a paper on last semester in my men and masculinities class) is heathcliff from wuthering heights, whose counterpart to his coding is cathy. both men have that whimsicality in common that contrasts heavily with how we would expect them to act. bucky does not act like them at all.

the reason that this is different from bucky and steve’s ‘damsel in distress’ argument is the self awareness i mentioned before. not to mention the weird heteronormative standards being applied as requirements for their gay relationship to be seen as valid because it “fits the narrative” but .. anyways.

anakin and heathcliff both have their subverted traits played up in a way that shows off how ridiculous the women usually written in their roles are forced to act. its tongue in cheek, because woman coding is not only about individual traits, but about how the character interacts with the story because of this as a whole. bucky is often seen as woman coded because he is put into these situations where he is “rescued” by someone that half his stans see as his love interest (steve my baby im sorry) when hes really only rescued maybe twice? at azzano and from the water when the helicopter crashed. only one of those is a real damsel in distress situation. all of the others are cases where hes fighting his own way out ????? bucky doesnt just sit around waiting for a “real man” to get off his ass as that post suggested but i digress.

anyways. mcu stans lack any self awareness that would be required even if bucky and tony were woman coded. calling them woman coded does not count as self awareness! the real self awareness comes with recognizing that woman coding doesnt actually make these characters women and it doesnt mean they forever belong in these “female” roles. mcu stans take the stereotypes they pick out at face value and use them to say “look! bucky is a bottom!” or to continue taking away his agency by ignoring all of his other actions and traits that dont fit in to this mold theyve made around the idea that he needs a man to save him or boss him around. his story as a whole is the only thing that would make him woman coded and seeing as there is no self awareness of this shown, no attempts to subvert, he displays little to no traditionally feminine traits, and loss of agency on its own is not something that only applies to women ...

in short: in my opinion, bucky is not woman coded. mcu stans just like rolling with stereotypes that rely around cis bodies and straight relationships. the end.

[enbypanposi]

Enby slime/soap/sand stimboard with cats? Tyy!! 💕💕 Personally, it's great to see a blog with so much positivity ^^ with this request, I have a question, how do you feel about lesbian/gay enby's? He/him wlw/wlnb's and she/her mlm/mlnb's? I think pronouns don't equal gender or sexuality but I was wondering someone else opinion?

Well first Ive queued the stimboard and it should be posting soon, so so sorry for the wait. I think lesbian and gay nonbinary people are great! Gender can be really complicated and the labels weve made are sometimes not great at relating the complications of gender and how it affects attraction, so I have nothing but respect for the nonbinary people who use those labels despite the seeming contradictions--in reality, there arent any, just perceived ones because we want to simplify things that cant really be simplified. And yes, pronouns definitely do not equal gender! Again, gender and sexuality interact in a lot of ways, and sometimes the way we feel about others influences us to see ourselves in different ways. he/him wlw/nlw have expressed this probably the most and the best, that attraction to men is seen as a womens role, so women who love women take up a mans role and connect to masculine things more, or at least feel disconnected from a womans role and feminine things, which is why a they might chose to use he/him. It says nothing about their gender but a lot about how society views gender and gender roles. People who use pronouns that arent typical of their gender for other reasons or just because they want to are just as valid too! Sometimes theyre really just arbitrarily gendered words that you can do whatever you want with since gender is essentially completely constructed and fake.

[writerice]

Honestly, South Park is a really good show. Anyone who calls it racist today, fundamentally misunderstood why it makes of fun of busybodies, as well as why remaining chilled, calm and cool is actually a good thing. People complain a lot that South Park is a show where uncaring is cool, and where people who care too much are the butts of jokes. Now, I never want to do this- I don’t want to deny someone else their perspective- But these opinions are built on shaky premises, and misses the mark.   First lets start with Eric Cartman, who is recognized as the source of a lot of the bigotted comedy in the show. Eric Cartman, ever since the first season, had almost always been put in the role of an antagonist/ that one drama queen who no one wants to get involved with. He finds ways to manipulate situations if it’ll mean he’ll receive something out of it, and is a self-centered person to the extreme. When he says bigotted things, we’re supposed to find him disagreeable and hateful, and his being funny will never make what he says to be okay. We’re also supposed to feel refreshened whenever Stan and Kyle immediately admonish him for being a dick, which is also funny, because holy shit, not only do we have a child spouting antisemitic bullshit, but we have children who will actively tell their peer to fuck off! Its wonderous. This is WHY South Park was so fascinating to begin with; Before South Park, there was never a seriously funny depiction of kids using realistic adult profanity while having childlike discussions on topics that were considered political.  Now lets move onto Stan and Kyle: These two are clearly shown to be awesome and cool kids who just want to have fun and enjoy their lives. They don’t want to be roped into things that adults tell them that they’re supposed to be worried about. They’re kids, they live in the present. They live uncomplicated lives, as any 8-year old should, unless its something they’re interested in, like an adventure involving other kids from their class (anyone remember them capturing a paper fortune teller from the girls?). They don’t force themselves to care about things. They understand from a young age that ungenuine about causes can be harmful, and a waste of time and energy. 

When they DO genuinely care about things, we have cool and rich plots emerge that are related to our understanding of them as characters- Stan has successfully helped save the lives of veal up for slaughter, as well as whales. Kyle navigates his Jewish faith and identity while being one of the most compassionate human beings on television. Even better than that, these boys arent’ even particularily strongly identified. Stan isn’t that “animal rights activist”, and Kyle isn’t that “humanitarian child”, they’re flexible and dimensional characters. They have their moments where they’re just being kids and are relaxing and having fun like normal, as opposed to brooding over shit that they can’t control. It seemed like South Park had an accurate depiction of what a healthy attachment to identity/cause actually looked like, WAY beyond this era of neuroticism where people are encouraged box themselves.

It says a lot of sad things about children nowadays, too. Children in the current generation are pushed harder than in prior generations in being perfect students, with mandatory volunteer work pushed onto them and being told that they need to develop their life’s passion in time for college plans. Some of them get pushed into becoming esports stars or child Youtubers by their parents. When do they even have the chance to be children anymore? 

Now, onto the adults of the show: The adults are always screwing things up. They want to ride on causes that they aren’t truly aware of. 

They are their own society’s disruptors; They often neglect to critically examine whether their call for action and change are justified. They don’t check to see whether their actions are necessary, or if their methods are reasonable. Sometimes, their actions create more damage than if they didn’t do anything at all! And this is why we mock them- Not “for caring”, but because they’re busy bodies; Their motivation to act or call for change comes less from wanting to affect meaningful change within their society, and comes more out of a vague desire to want to “better themselves”. 

Its the type of selfishness that we don’t really speak enough about in our current society as we should be- How people get intertwined into causes they aren’t truly thoughtful enough about, because they’re just encouraged to get passionate about “anything” that moves them, or “anything that seems worthwhile��.

And this is both stupid, as well as dangerous, because you want people to be mindful about what the real affect of their “help” is. Some things that people do in the name of “help” either don’t help the people it’s intended to help (the only poor family in South Park, the Mc Cormicks, get a single can of vegetables on Thanksgiving via a gameshow-like contraption, and they don’t even get a can-opener for it), or make matters worse for those it claims to help (Like Bono claiming that Timmy playing in a band was akin to mocking his disability).  People can, and should be encouraged to help make a difference, but you don’t want a culture where you keep pushing people to change things for the vague reasoning of “being a good person”. You want people who are informed, aware, are capable of critical thinking, and who can tell when and where their efforts are actually needed. 

Also, this is extremely important: But South Park is, like literally everything ever, a product of it’s time. This show was made during the 1990′s to early or late 2000′s, when things like media activist groups existed to police and censor stuff for people because of those things being deemed “insensitive”. This was before the internet was fully used on the scale it is today, so people were being limited from being able to watch/read/play or otherwise access media based purely on stupid, petty shitty reasons.

Like not allowing children to enjoy Canadian television because farting or using cusswords is “too offensive”, where you were dealing with Karens who had way too much power and time to spend. It meant telling Karens/Boomers relax and not to deprive other people of their ability to express themselves just because they didn’t think their interests were “appropriate”. Totally a different thing than when we talk about the generalized concept of sensitivity today, when we’re refering to how human beings are made to feel as based on their identity. 

Kyle’s lectures at the end of an episode are meaningful- It doesn’t exist to “undo” any offensiveness in an episode. He’s a voice of reason who brings together the social commentary. I don’t see why anyone would ever have a problem with it. Is it obvious and easy? Yes. Does it put a nice cap on the end of an episode to return everything to status quo in time for the next one? Yes. I loved it. I thought it made for a comfortable, easy viewing experience. It may be considered formulaic, but thats how they made the end of an otherwise edgy episode feel wholesome, or depart a message of value.

Its easy to see this as an “attack on caring”, if you’re applying it directly to today’s movements and stuff, but that requires a lot of willful ignorance, and an even greater lack of understanding the context the show was made in. We all have access to wikipedia, no one has an excuse. 

TL;DR, it didn’t “age badly”. It was extremely relevant for its time. Context matters, and this show was perfect for the context of it’s time. The creators are doing their best to address current modern day topics with new story-telling, so maybe look to the present and be amazed by how much they’ve decided to change in those regards instead of repeatedly making everyone who grew up with the show feel old. Sincerely, a nonbinary pansexual liberal woman of color who just wants to enjoy South Park as the greatest still-running animated satire ever, thank you

[jamiebluewind]

Hey so I saw your post about the correct terminology to use when referring to LGBTQIA+ folk and it was really helpful! It made me remember a question that I had so hopefully you can help out with it? It's about Steven Universe and how gems are non-binary but all the gems we see identify as female and are referred to as such by the creator and fandom. I saw a post that stated calling Ruby and Sapphire (two gems) lesbians is wrong because they are non-binary. But if they identify as women (1/2)

Then arent they technically representative of both? Since their species/type of being is non-binary but they identify as women and are in a relationship together? Sorry for the randomness of this question but I saw your post and figured I'd see if you can help. Thanks for any help you can give and I hope you're safe! Cheers! (2/2)

First off, here's the post they are referring to if anyone is interested.

It honestly depends on the person/people and what terms feel right to them! Yes the gems use she/her pronouns and present in a way that conforms to what we consider feminine (save certain fusions), BUT that does not make them any less nonbinary than someone who presents in an androgynous way and uses they/them. How someone presents themself does not corroborate or invalidate their identity. There's no right or wrong way to be nonninary or trans for that matter. You just... are.

Now on to the complicated stuff! Some nonbinary people add an additional identifier to better explain how they feel in their mind and body (think of it like the gender version of romantic vs sexual identity). For example, a nonbinary woman could be someone who is nonbinary acknowledging that they were socialized as a woman OR a nonbinary person who feels the most comfortable presenting as a woman regardless of their birth gender.

When it comes to attraction, the words to describe who one is attracted to can get a little confusing for people who don't neatly fit in the binary, so it is often left to what the person feels most comfortable with. Nonbinary people don't HAVE to like all genders (as many automatically assume). Choosing lesbian/gay over gynosexual/androsexual isn't automatically wrong either (and is actually what some of them prefer to describe themselves with). I have many friends on the nonbinary spectrum that I call home and the terms they use to describe who they are attracted to varies and depends on the person's preferences.

Now on to gems. If I allow myself to assume (which I don't do with real people, but I can't actually ask them so here we are) Ruby and Sapphire seem to be nonbinary women or genderqueer. What words we use for them would normally depend on what they are comfortable with, but using what we know, she/her, nonbinary, woman, or lady should be okay (maybe also boi) until told otherwise. As far as attraction goes, they seem to both be attracted to people within the feminine spectrum, so both lesbian or gynosexual (or perhaps gynoromantic asexual) would be acceptable words until we find out their terms. WLW could also be a possibility. Really, we can only guess and accept that their actual terms could be something we have not considered and words they disapprove of might not be ones we have considered.

For example, I'm nonbinary, my exact term is femfluidflux (I move between female and nonbinary genders without ever getting over to a majority masculine identity) demi-omnisexual (I like all the genders, but I need a bond with someone to feel attraction), I'm good with most pronouns and words except "Miss" (which is upsetting and can make me feel dysphoric), and my female appearance does not invalidate my identity or visa versa. Without speaking to me, you would have to assume a lot of that based on context clues and no matter how good you are at sleuthing, you wouldn't get it EXACTLY right and that's okay! Most of us will correct you when necessary and appreciate people trying.

Tl;dr: We can't know the exact identity of fictional characters unless it comes up in the show/book/movie or the creator tells us (and even then - just like in real life - those words can change when a better one is found). We can only use context clues and must accept the fact that it will be imperfect. As long as the guess is respectful and does not ignore canon, it's fine. With nonbinary characters, you can use the information above to help. When it comes to real people though, just ask. If we want you to know, we'll tell you ^_^

PS: Sorry my reply took so long. Life has been crazy lately!

[bullyfemme]

“Rapid-Onset Gender Dysphoria” and Bad Transphobic Pop Science

Many people engaged in discourse on this website, especially with truscum, have probably encountered their concept of “Rapid-Onset Gender Dysphoria”. Those who have the fantastic shinigami eyes extension enabled and search for the topic will often find a litteny of red sites when you look for anything involving the term from sites that often spout anti-trans rhetoric and are constantly looking for pseudoscience to back up their beliefs. 

“Rapid-Onset Gender Dysphoria” as defined by the official website for it (yes, really. Don’t click here if you’re triggered by transphobia) run by the transphobic parents of young trans teens, goes as follows: “A type of adolescent-onset or late-onset gender dysphoria where the development of gender dysphoria is observed to begin suddenly during or after puberty in an adolescent or young adult who would not have met criteria for gender dysphoria in childhood.” 

There are obviously flaws with this, even on the surface level of just this definition, without looking at the actual study conducted itself (though we will get there, trust me). 

First of all, you have to assume that you require gender dysphoria to be trans. There’s evidence quite to the contrary in that professionals and groups dedicated to assisting trans people agree that dysphoria is not a requirement for identifying as trans, and actual (read: not pop science) that has found that the brain is not sexually dymorphic and that there arent “male brains” and female brains”, that very few people actually regret transitioning (roughly .6% of trans women and .3% of trans men, please note the decimal and that both of these, when accounting for the fact that both groups only account for roughly half of all binary trans people, equal less than half of 1% of all trans people).

Pretending that evidence doesn’t exist, let’s pretend that the assumption that gender dysphoria is needed for being trans is correct. Even in that world view, this definition is poor and tenuous. When you describe “not having met criteria for gender dysphoria in childhood”, you are going with the assumption that the child didn’t experience and hide it very well out of shame. Or that they did express it and their parents dismissed it and continued to dismiss it throughout childhood. Or that the child did not force themselves to perform hyperfemininity or hypermasculinity in order to try and “make it go away” in the same vein of a gay person forcing themselves into relationships and situations with straight people. Or that the child is not gay and gnc. Or that didn’t experience adolescent or adult dysphoria which the dsm-5 does define as legitimate experiences, as do MANY ACTUAL TRANS PEOPLE IF YOU TALK TO THEM, SOMETHING THE AUTHOR OF THE STUDY HAS FAILED TO DO. 

Many trans people who experience dysphoria don’t experience it until they hit puberty and their body undergoes changes associated with the wrong kind of puberty for them. Which, for the trans children of the parents surveyed (yeah, we’re getting there, they didn’t actually survey trans kids), allows them to say “well you weren’t like this before!”

There is one, single study conducted with regards to “Rapid onset gender dysphoria.” Lisa Littman, the woman who conducted the study, isn’t even a professional in gender studies. She’s a fucking gynecologist and obstetrician (pregnancy doctor). This is not her field of study. Much of her research is focused on detransition and her coined “Rapid-Onset Gender Dysphoria” despite, again, no experience in those fields of study. She’s a cis woman obsessed with making trans people identify as cis again, or as “normal” by her standards. If she would have done actual research, she would have found just how few trans people want to detransition after transitioning in the first place, or how many people who do detransition are trans people, often trans women, forced to detransition in order to survive every day. 

Beyond this, the study itself: where do I even begin. 

I have defined Ms. Littman as coining ROGD, and that’s not quite fair. The actual people who coined it are well-known terf website 4wavenow.com, conservative website Transgendertrend.com, and YouthTransCriticalProfessionals.org which is an organization of conservative scientists (theres an oxymoron if I’ve ever heard one) who hide behind degrees while they churn out anti-trans propaganda. In fact, that’s what all three of those groups do. 

Now, finally, with all that out of the way. Let’s talk about this study, posted in the non-peer reviewed journal of academic health.

First of all, as alluded to previously, it was conducted by talking to the parents of these kids, not the kids themselves. This opens up a whole host of things to talk about, and trust me - we will. It was a 90 question quiz posted on the three websites mentioned previously: 4thwavenow, transgendertrend.com, and youthtranscrticialproffessionals.org. So, the survey is already poisoned, placed on websites with deliberate anti-trans agendas, with no way of verifying who the fuck was taking that survey. So if Tammy Terfbangs, mother of absolutely no one, gets on 4thwavenow and sees that a ~super scientific survey~ about those evil 14 year old trans kids, there is quite literally nothing stopping her from filling it out. I cannot even begin to describe how shoddy the foundation for all of this is. Or if, per say, a popular terf blog linked to this, there’s quite literally nothing stopping dozens or hundreds of terfs from filling this survey out. 

As a scientist, the methods in which she procured the “””evidence””” on anti-trans websites run by the parents of trans children makes me fucking furious. Imagine running a study about, per say, autism, and how sensory overload feels, instead of asking the autistic person, they asked the parents of the autistic person, and posting it on “TheCureForAutism.org” and “DontVaccinateEducate.Com” and then posting it in a shitty non-peer reviewed journal. Essentially, thats exactly what this is.   

This idea isn’t even new. The WPATH standards of Care, published in 2011, hosted a section called “Phenomenology in Adolescents”. This section had the following to say. 

“Yet many adolescents and adults presenting with gender dysphoria do not report a history of childhood gender-nonconforming behaviors (Docter, 1988; Landén, Wålinder, & Lundström, 1998). Therefore, it may come as a surprise to others (parents, other family members, friends, and community members) when a youth’s gender dysphoria first becomes evident in adolescence.”

The idea that the internet made your kid trans, the backbone of all of this, is just so ridiculous that the fact that I have to even talk about it is stupid. Many kids who understood they were trans when they were young but didn’t know what that meant and couldn’t put their identity into words. Fun fact, if you explain to someone a concept that they didn’t understand but felt before, they might in fact realize that it applies to them. The fact that resources are now available to them to give them information about their identity, and that trans people are more visible now than a decade ago when this generation of trans and nb people were growing up, is a good thing. 

Besides, considering just the quantity of shit like “transgender people DISPROVED by ben shapiro” and “NONBINARY CRINGE COMP #400000000000000000″ available on youtube being fed directly to toddlers with ipads, it’s not like all exposure to trans people has been framed positively, nurturing, or encouraging, and it would be beneficial to talk about the ways in which this is going to affect the trans and nb people who will be around a decade from now. 

There’s so much more I could talk about here, but I don’t think I need to. Instead, I will link to this amazing article that was the backbone of much of what I wrote. The author is a bisexual trans women with a degree in biochemistry, she knows what the fuck shes talking about. 

[idontevenknowmanidek]

"I wanna be a star!" Pt. 1: Audition

Life as a porn star was nothing like Nita expected. She thought it was all orgasms and easy money, but her company had her working hard. 2 workouts daily, heavily regulated diet, and filming everyday. The money was good though.

From day one, everything was different than she expected. When she went to sign up to a talent agency, she thought she'd be walking in to some sleazy building filled with gross old guys, not that that wouldve stopped her from moving forward with her "acting' goals. But the building she walked up to was a tall, sleek no-nonsense type place. It was all bright and shiny and everyone there looked hotttt. It was hard to tell who was an actor and who was an office worker. She walked in to speak to the receptionist, who was a sweet, bubbly young woman by the name of Lisa, and was directed up to the 7th floor. Thats were interviews were held.

In the elevator the sounds of smooth jazz filled her ears and set her at ease. "This is awesome!" She thought. In no time, she was walking out into a well furnished office. It was somwhow dark and comforting at the same time. A man sat at the desk in the middle of the room, scribbling on some papers, but the sound of the opening elevator alerted him.

"Ah! You must be Anita Paul. Come, sit down." He stood as she approached and shook her hand. "Would you like a drink?" He gestured at a glass pitcher on his desk and she nodded. Smoothly, he poured a serving into two glasses and placed one in front of her. She thanked him as she took the glass and took a sip, surprised to taste orange seltzer water.

"Good isn't it?"

"Mhm! Wow, that was super refreshing!"

"I'm glad you like it Anita. Now, lets get started. My name is Grant Downing, or Mr. Downing if you so please. Tell me, what brings you to us today?"

"Oh, well... I'm a performer. Its all I've ever wanted to do in life, be in front of a camera. But I like having fun. Being in a drama or a rom-com doesn't interest me much, they arent as fun as... Well, this."

"Interesting. Since you like being on camera so much, would you mind doing the next section while video taped? I just need to see how the camera reacts to you, see you in action, you know?"

"Oh that is absolutely no problem, Mr. Downing." Anita adjusted herself in her armchair, flipping her long, dark hair behind her ears and sitting up straighter, so her breasts poked out a bit. Meanwhile, Grant was setting up a small tripod beside his desk. A little red light began to flash, letting her know the camera was on and rolling.

"Now, I'm going to ask you a few more questions and then, I'll run you through some exercises. Sound good?"

Anita nodded and beamed at the camera.

"So Anita, have you ever had sex before?"

The question made her smile fade a bit. It was times like this that she was grateful for her dark skin, noone could see her blush, but it didn't stop her from feeling the heat riaing in her cheeks.

"No, sir." She said, quietly.

"What a surprise. A pretty girl like you, still a virgin and at 24. Why does a virgin want to be a porn star?"

" Uhm, well... I've never had sex with another person, but ive had plenty of experience with sex toys and the like. I'm a very curious person, you see. I'm also cautious, so while the opportunity has presented itself in the past, ive never done more than hand jobs and other forms of outercourse."

"Thank you for sharing Anita. Next question. What is your sexual orientation?"

Anita let out a sigh of relief at the change of topic.

"I consider myself Queer."

"So, you wouldnt mind having sex with a man or a woman, cis or otherwise?"

"Oh not at all, Ive had partners with all sorts of different identities. Nonbinary, cis woman, trans woman, etc. I do tend to lean more femme in terms of my attraction, but i have dated men and masculine folks as well."

"Good, I'm glad youre open to different things. So, how do you feel about roleplay?"

"I think I might be most excited for that! It'll give me a chance to show off my acting chops and I'll get to try something new all the time!"

"Do you have any hard limits?"

'Hmm.. Yes, i dont think I'd like to do too much with bodily fluids or anything too painful. I dont mind a little pain here and there, but I think if it were geared towards sadism and masochism, i wouldn't be into it as much."

"Noted." Grant said, reaching over and scribbling something. He glanced at his watch. "How do you feel, Anita?"

Anita paused for a moment and thought. She felt good. Really good. She was comfortable in the chair and in front if Mr. Downing. Anita wasnt a prude or anything, but she typically wasnt the most forthright when it came to sex and her body. She guessed ti was just because it was her boss... er, possible future boss, that she was tlaking to that put her at ease. Its a job for porn, there are no secrets, she thought

"I'm feeling great, Mr. Downing"

"Good. Now, I'm going to ask you to list out some of your fantasies for me. While doing this, you may begin to feel aroused and thats perfectly okay. If you want to, you can touch yourself while talking abt these fantasies, but only above the clothes. Understand?"

"Yes, Mr. Downing. Uhm, I geuss my biggest fantasy would be a gangbang... I love the idea of being used by multiple people at once. All those hands over my body." Anita shivered at the thought. The warmth that was once in her cheeks moved lower, to a very different part of her body.

"I also fantasize about being tied up to once of those siban things, and having to ride that for a long time, orgasm after orgasm ripping through me."

"Keep going Anita, tell me more."

By this point, she was dripping with desire, it was as though a faucet had been left on.

"Mmm. I like the idea of using a double sided dildo on someone. One side in me, the other side in them and I'm using it to fuck them. And every thrust I give them, i also feel. Sometimes in this fantasy, there's someone else behind me, hitting it from the back, thrusting in time with me." Anita had begun to rub herself over her slacks. Why did i have to dress sensibly?

"Stop." Mr. Downing barked out, and Anita immediately stopped speaking and masturbating. "Thats enough of your fantasies, thank you. The question part is now over, time for some exercises."

"Stand up with your arms out and give me a spin." Without hesitation, Anita stood and spun slowly for Mr. Downing to see her. "Anita, take your clothes off." In no time, she stood before him, her slacks and blouse, crumpled on the floor before her. As her hand began to reach for her bra, he stopped her.

"Thats more than enough. Kneel, Anita. Legs spread wide." She lowered herself to the ground, settling in the position he described.

"Now we are going to see how well you can act. Grope your breasts and moan."

Her hands began to snake up her body, grabbing and pulling at her breasts through her lacy bra.

"Mmm, Ohhh." Her nipples began to harden and poked at her hands.

"Louder! More forceful. Come on Anita, you've seen porn before."

Anita redoubled her efforts moaning more loudly.

"Unnff. Yeah! MMMM!"

"There you go! Here, take it and use it. Youve got the job if you can come in less than a minute." He handed her a thick vibrator which she gladdly accepted. Turning it on to the highest setting, she got to work and starting playing with herself, moaning wantonly the entire time. 45 seconds in, she came mindshatteringly hard.

"Welcome to the family Anita. Now, take the elevator down to the bottom floor, you'll get your onboarding papers and watch the training video there."

He helped her up and uahered her towarsa the elevator.

"But.. My clothes?"

"Oh you wont need them now" he chuckled. With a smile and a wave, he sent her on her way

[kadywicker]

I am legit the same. Like as a nonbinary person and one who is typically feminine a lot of the time, I get so freaked out and weirded and grossed out about the idea of being loved or fancied or anything by a man. But when I am feeling more masculine and like fantasizing I guess (about my own gender and also sexuality and sex and stuff) it feels a lot less weird. Also yes agree about the trans man stuff. About being more comfortable with being loved by a trans man. I dunno

oh this is a BIG mood. like??? when i was iding as nb or even when i was iding as a woman i was like hm hate the thought of being w men but like... the thought of loving a man as a man and a man loving me as a man makes me feel very Soft and makes my heart feel warm. and then i feel like the same is true w women too like i’d be more comfortable being loved by a trans woman or nb woman-aligned person than a cis woman. bc cis ppl just make me as a trans person wary bc you worry they arent seeing you as your gender and just your sex u kno..... which ive seen from a lot of trans ppl. its just more comfortable dating/being w other trans ppl bc you have to worry less about “are they really seeing me as my gender?” 

but like idk! my attraction to men is a very weird topic for me bc like on one hand ive been socialized to like and prioritize men..... as a woman. and i’m not a woman so like the idea of loving them as a man is very different from the way i’ve been taught to love them and its a lot nicer honestly. and the kind of man that would return those feelings and love me as a man would be the sort of man i’d be okay being attracted to and being with.

anyway

Gender

you know?

[glitchdollmemoria]

just finally fully processed that like... i dont really suuuuuper identify with the label of "trans man". ive known for a while that im iffy about calling myself a man at all, usually if i do its in a sort of performative sense if you get what i mean? like the idea of a man. the concept. but im not a man in the sense of being a Binary Man, which is why i also tend to feel more comfortable calling myself more casual terms like guy or dude, or terms that include femininity like girlboy or ladyboy, or neutral terms, or just making sure to play around and mix up whether im calling myself a wannabe milf or a wannabe dilf at any given moment.

and i DO very much identify as trans, transgender, transsexual. those are all labels i regularly use for myself both externally and in my own mind. but ive realized my transness doesnt really change that i dont entirely identify as A Man. im like, schrodingers man. im a man when its funny or hot or when i appreciate the differences between my gender and my partners gender. or im a man when i feel forced to pick between only two options.

but ultimately when i do call myself a man, im never saying it in the way most men call themselves men. theres always a degree of separation there, like a fogged up glass wall. i can write messages in the steam. i can draw a smiley face. i can draw my lover. i can draw a funny dick with huge balls. and the men on the other side can do all the same, we can even play tic-tac-toe. but we arent ever going to be on the same side of the wall.

for the record, theres also a fogged up glass wall between myself and other women, but the glass has cracks in it - not enough that i could ever break through and be the same kind of woman as them, but enough that if im not careful, ill get cut and start bleeding all over the damn place. and so, growing up, i distanced myself from my own womanhood, less in the sense of avoiding other women but in the sense of avoiding acknowledging the similarities between their genders and mine. if i tried to interact with womanhood, id get cut, and then everyone would see what i was made of, and theyd say "womanhood cut you so you could never be a man".

but now that im on hrt, im beginning to realize just how many differences there are between myself and binary men. i knew i was nonbinary before hrt, but i wasnt able to see just how much. my body has given me so many new similarities, but they make the differences so much more obvious. so i start to try drawing on the woman side of the glass again. i can better see where the cracks are, so i can better avoid being cut. i draw messages, and a smiley face, and my lover, and absurdly huge boobs, and i play tic-tac-toe with the women on the other side. i realize i can almost be one of them, the same as i can almost be one of the men, and i can do it without getting cut as much. and when i do get cut, its not as much of an issue. i know how to bandage my wounds by now, at least better than i could before. there are more people who dont care about seeing my blood spill. there are more people who can see my blood and appreciate it for what it is. its not a big deal. its just how i was made.

and then i find the cracks in the other side of the wall, as im doodling on it, when my finger gets sliced on manhood. and i realize: my blood was never one or the other. because now people are looking at it and saying its the blood of a man. it was all one big joke the whole time. it was all fake. it was all just people threading strings between one thing and another, and coming to conclusions about their own perceptions without considering the reality of my body, of my existence. my blood, and muscle, and sinew, and bone, and hair, none of it is "man" or "woman" on its own. people are the ones trying to claim otherwise.

and all i can do is bandage my wounds. so what am i?