#and that story probably wont ever be published anywhere

[jays-doodle-spool]

realized i never posted this

this was just an attempt to improve on two things im not great at: backgrounds and digital painting

[jonny-b-meowborn]

Not to be a fucked up little freak but recently I started writing a short story in second person in future tense and it's about a lighthouse and her keeper

[lyzelky]

Writer Interview Game

Tagged by @gilded-glitter!! Kissing u

When did you start writing?

I remember getting pissed off about the writing choices in the Pokemon Anime when I was about 8 or 9, and I came to the realization that I could write my own story featuring my own Pokemon Trainer and handle the story the ✨right ✨ way (lol). From there I started filling up several dozen school composition notebooks until several years later I realized I could write on my ipod touch and save myself the trouble.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I'll read just about anything as long as it interests me, but I think the genre I enjoy least is sci-fi? I don't hate it, but it just doesn't have that strong enough of an appeal to me, though I do like when people get goofy with it (Doctor Who, some episodes of DS9, etc.) I love a good mystery/period piece though, and I while I enjoy writing it, whether or not I'm any good at it is another matter entirely. If there is a procedural detective show with a will-they-wont-they pair of leads, chances are I've seen it.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

Oh jeez, well, I've never published fic before so I don't think I have ever been compared to anyone else, but an english teacher I had in high school once complimented me on have a "unique voice" in my writing, and I still think about it from time to time. As for writers I admire? Off the top of my head: Toni Morrison, Norman Maclean, Cormac McCarthy, and Tolkien.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space? I write primarily on my phone, so I don't really have a dedicated space. I used Pages primarily but I kept running into issues with lag, so I recently switched over to Scrivener on my phone. As for where I write I either do so at my desk or in bed, or on long train rides. The good thing about writing on my phone is that if I have a sudden burst of inspiration and have the time, I can write almost anywhere.

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Music, especially with long train or car rides. Staring out the window at scenery with music often gets my imagination going. Long walks work too, especially if I'm on the treadmill at the gym and can zone out without worrying about walking into oncoming traffic lol. Other than that, ideas often come to me just as I am drifting off to sleep.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Found family, prophecies, newfound/hidden powers, finding purpose, feeling like an outsider. These don't really surprise me, I was always kind of a weird kid and am now a weird adult, with the pervasive feeling of "not belonging" a constant throughout my youth. This isn't to say I don't have friends and family that I love, and am certain love me back, but I've always been a little awkward in most social settings, regardless of the context.

What is your reason for writing?

I have a very active imagination that probably borders on maladaptive dreaming, but writing and art create a healthier outlet to channel that into.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

Basically anything vaguely positive or encouraging is enough to make me blush.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

Honestly I don't even know, I hope they think I'm moderately cool? I have never been perceived through the lens of my writing before, only my art.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

World building and character development!

How do you feel about your own writing?

Pretty shy, I am always mildly concerned that my stuff is too trope-y or whatever, and other times I re-read what I wrote and go "hey, that's pretty good!".

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

I would say 99% of what I write is my own OC stuff that I never plan to make public, so I'd say I write mostly for myself. That being said, I do think people would enjoy certain aspects of my OC stuff, it's just way too jumbled for anyone but myself to make any sense of it at this point in time.

Tagging whoever wants to join in on this!

[btssavedmylifeblr]

Hey bee :) Do you ever look back at the begining of stories you're writing and find little details that bug you or are things you should change? This happens to me, but I never know what to do. To fix it would start some seriously inconvinient dominos of fixing every single chapter. It makes me not want to write the rest. I ask because you plan your stories really well and I admire it! It's like trying to sail on a boat with holes 😩 SOS

Oh absolutely! The greenhouse should have magenta grow lights, and the hangar should be zero-g, and there are a whole bunch of dangling plotlines that might not go anywhere because I’m not sure they work with my end plans anymore.

This is why for me, I have to treat the moment I publish as the moment it is set in stone and unchangeable. I only edit published chapters for typos, because if I went and started changing stuff, I would never stop or write anything new.

Probably the best solution would be to write the entire story, then edit as you go back through it, but i’ve never had the willpower to sit on a completed chapter without publishing it. When it’s that close, the drive to finish it and get it out there is the thing that keeps me going.

I totally share this frustration though!! The only comfort I can offer is that 99% of the time readers wont notice or care. We, the authors, are comparing the story to a perfect version we have in our heads and finding it lacking. But the readers are just enjoying what is actually on the page. So try to take a deep breath and let go of the impulse to make it perfect.

[floralseokjin]

Sooo ab Tumblr not allowing adult content after Dec. 17 Do you have another site you post on or social media

anon said : Hey, have you published your work anywhere else as a back up youre such an amazing writer and I realy hope we dont loose you

anon said: Hi so APPARENTLY Tumblr is banning all sexually explicit content on the 17th of December so that sucks???? It's literally the ONLY reason I use this damn website what the fuck. And what's worse is that most of my fave authors on this stupid website (you) will probably get taken down I'm really upset PLEASE can we find your writing anywhere else you're a gem I don't wanna lose

anon said: hey did you hear about the porn ban?? i really hope you wont remove your smuts because it excludes text:(

okay so first of all, thank you for your concern and i am really touched that you guys would think of me like this! it means the world!

even though tumblr said erotica is still allowed, ever since the post they made came out, random things have been getting flagged (none of my fics have been, but i saw shanna say that even though her fics weren’t flagged as explicit, her reblogs were.... so that is entirely confusing lol) but also, tags on my blog have been playing up and when i scroll through through other people’s blogs i hit a wall of all old posts and can’t see anything recent so there’s that problem too :// i don’t know if anyone else is experiencing this.... and what is getting tagged as explicit are really random posts, like my seokjin picture! so that is a little worrying and frustrating!

anyway, as of right now i have an ao3 account (floralseokjin) and have no works posted underneath it. HOWEVER that will be changing in a few of weeks or so. i already have all my work backed up on my computer so that’s a plus, and i will be purchasing a new laptop soon, so that will give me the motivation to edit my fics and cross post them on ao3!

i really don’t want to lose the ability to post on tumblr because it is the best platform for me personally seeing as i can interact with you guys about not only my fics, but also bts and personal things like life etc. however saying that, the support i get for my stories here is really uplifting and motivating and i don’t want that to disappear.

for now, it’s just fingers crossed that come december 17th everything will be okay when it comes to posting fanfic, but i will still be cross posting them onto ao3. worst case scenario is that i have to only post on ao3 and link the fic to floralseokin so you guys can get directed to it and then we can converse freely like we have been doing right here on tumblr!! similar to what tessa has been doing on her blog i guess!

so you can find me on:

ao3 — floralseokjin (will start posting potentially end of december!)

twitter — floralseokjin (where to find me if something happens!)

[suadabdelrahman]

100  facts about me

1. Name -Suad Abdel-Rahman

2. Age -20

3. City that you live in -Accra

4. What do most people not know about you? -I was born with a lisp

5. What do most people know you for? -My social media presence

6. Hobbies -Watching series, listening to music

7. What are your passions? -film directing

8. What do you search for in a significant other? -Kindness

7. What are you most proud of? -My growth

8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love? -Cant remember

9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it? -Wine

10. List 10 things off of your bucket list. - Get a nose piercing - Learn to swim - Get more tattoos - Travel all around the world - Direct a movie/ music video - Fly in a hot air balloon - See the Northern Lights - Publish a book - Go stargazing - Speak in public

11. What was the last thing you learned? -Dispute settlement at ICSID

12. How many relationships have you been in? -3

13. Turn ons -Nice perfume

14. Turn offs -Dirty feet

15. Favorite food -Kelewele

16. Favorite drink -Cranberry juice

17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received? -A painting of myself

18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic? -Realistic

19. Do you sleep during class? -No

20. What is the most expensive thing you own? -I dont know

21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own? -Eyebrow pencil

22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone? -50

23. Text or call? -Text

24. Opinion on long distance? -It can work if you both want it to

25. What is your definition of success? -Making money from doing what you love

26. Favorite song? -Like by Reekado Banks/Tiwa Savage/Fiokee

27. Favorite artist? -The Weeknd, Travis Scott

28. Celebrity crush/crushes? -Drake, Hector Bellerin

29. When was the last time you read for fun? -Last week

30. Favorite flower? -No preference yet

31. What is the best gift you could receive right now? -Money and diamonds

32. Any guilty pleasures? -WAGS Miami and Superstory

33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself? -Laziness

34. What do you search for in a friend? -Vibes

35. How many times have you said “I love you” in the past month? -Cant remember

36. Where did you last go other than your room/home? -School

37. Why do bad things happen to good people? -Life isnt fair

38. In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out or being stabbed in the eye? -Being stabbed in the eye

39. How many green shirts do you own?

40. Do you like anime? -No

41. What do you invest the most time in? -Watching movies

42. What was the name of the last book you read? -Ho Tactics

43. What’s the difference between loving and liking someone? -I think love is a deep feeling of care for someone and like is enjoying someones energy so much that you want to be around them.

44. Where are you most productive? -Depends on the activity

45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends. -Playing games -Partying -Swimming

46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone. -Sleeping -Watching movies -Eating

47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist? -No

48. Do you have any allergies? -Alcohol intolerance

49. When was the last time you cussed at someone? -Cant remember

50. What was the last promise you made? -Cant remember, i rarely make promises

51. What was your last dream about?

52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be? -My family (4) and Kuukua

53. How many countries have you visited? -Two

54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music,dance,painting,etc.) -Music

56. When was the last time somebody complimented you? -Yesterday

56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself? -I dont think so

57. Do you consider yourself mature? -Yes

58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr? -100

59. What is your favorite quote? -Its a tie between “Knowing is better than learning so because i know i wont learn”- Kuukua AND “A plenty talking cannot let a dead man hear you” -Bukom Banku

60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be? - Do not force people into the religion - Be reasonable not radical -Be your brother/sisters keeper

61. What is your greatest accomplishment? -Wait on it

62. Do you believe in the death penalty? -Yes

63. What are your goals for life? -To be happy -To be rich -To be healthy

64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now? -Probably relaxing.

65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world. -Some peaceful island

66. What were you like in 2013? -Naive

67. Do you have a job? -Not yet

68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend. -Her name was Lady Shudy (not sure how it was spelt) She had a brother named Rocky. One time we snuck out of class to play on swings and got into trouble. Thats literally all i remember about my first best friend

69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be? -The unwillingness to listen

70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before? -Too many to count

71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website? -Its a tie between Tumblr and Pinterest.

72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars? -Almost anything (not murder or anything like that)

73. Does money equal happiness? -It can

74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime? -Not even sure tbh

75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime? -Not sure

76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told? -Honestly i cant pick one, ive had too many laughs

77. When was the last time you looked at the news? -Cant remember, not a fan

78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say? -Stfu

79. What is your favorite animal? -Goldfish

80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it? -Yes

81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at? -Listening to understand rather than reply

82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get? -It all varies

83. Does age necessarily equal maturity? -No

84. What is your favorite clothing store? -Dont have one.

85. In the winter- beanies or gloves? -Beanies

86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail? -Wings

87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it? -Yes

88. What do you fear the most? -Regret

89. How many digits of pi can you recite? -3

90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be? -2016

91. Describe yourself in one word. -Complicated

92. Describe your last victory. -What i learnt came in my exam

93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen? -Cant think of anything

94. What is something you will never forget? -The day my illness kicked into full effect

95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail? -Remember in detail

96. Have you ever broken a bone before? -No

97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody? -Love

98. Coffee or tea? -Coffee

99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way? -Drinking water, eating less junk and not drinking soda.

100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today? - About 2

[angry-fishy8]

A story that'll never be published

I remember that night. We talked till the sun came up and you kissed me. Not like I was wanting or the kind you were hoping, but I think that's when we finally learned that there was something. I don't think I wanted to admit it, and neither did you,  so we kind of just forgot about that night. I mean why would we? I was plain and you were Mr. Fourteen. I gave up on closing myself because you told me to open up. God, looking at it, we were so stupid. But I'm not saying that being angry. I'm saying that with a huge smile on my face." +

I don't remember when I fell asleep but I woke up around three. Tyler still wasn't there so it made me worried. Are you really that mad at me? I just wanted to sleep but my brain wouldn't shut off. +

I grabbed one of Tyler's hoodies and grabbed a blanket. I didn't have an exact place where I wanted to go, but I didn't want to be in the hotel right now. I know I could've just went to talk to Brooklynn, but she'd just tell me off. +

When I had gone outside, the crisp fall air hit my legs before anywhere else. I guess shorts were a mistake. +

While I was walking I was replaying everything that happened today. Why would Tyler be so mad just because he pushed me away? I mean I guess in hind sight what I said after didn't really help. +

"I promised I wouldn't hurt you and that wasn't enough!" +

"It was!" I yelled. +

"Are you sure? Because everyone thinks that I'm the one trying." +

"What am I supposed to do, I told you I didn't want to ruin our friendship! Here we are! And here you are getting ready to leave." I grab his coat and threw it at him. "Do it, like everyone else." +

"Kate, this is just you worrying." he said calmingly. +

"GO! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!" +

"Is that what you really want?" +

"You're gonna do it anyways! Might as well let me do it on my terms." I cried. "Because that's what you want right? To leave? It's obvious, you've wanted that for a while." I looked away while he stepped closer. "Leave." +

He stood there for a moment. +

"I really did love you." +

I could feel everything crumble. After a while of not responding, he left. And everything I had to offer did too. +

I sat down at the park where Mrs. K and us talked. I just sat staring at the stars waiting for something to happen. +

"Kate, sweetie, it's time for school." I heard my mom sit on the opposite side of my bed. "You've been here all weekend." +

I didn't pull the covers from my head but I'd been awake the entire night. +

"Bumblebee." I whispered. +

"Are you sure?" She put her hand on my leg rubbing it. "It's the last one for the semester." +

"Yes please." +

"I'll call the school and tell them you've been sick all weekend. You have your concert tonight though." She kissed my head. "Don't let this bring you down." +

Brooklynn: You left me alone all weekend and now? +

Kate: We broke up. +

She didn't reply. And I stayed awake just watching my wall. That was enough. +

There was a shooting star and that's what pulled me from my thoughts. I laughed. +

Story continues below

Promoted stories

#MyHandmaidsTale Contest

By Hulu Promoted by Hulu

Create a 500-word short story inspired by Margaret Atwood's classic "The Handmaid's Tale" for your chance to be part of an anthology curated by Margaret Atwood...

You'll also like

The Boy I Admire From Afar

By sweetdreamer33

8.8M 566K

Claire Olsen had a great crush on Zion Petrakis since the first time she laid eyes on him. But Zion had his eyes glued at the school's 'It girl' Maddie Jennings. Claire couldn't compete with Maddie who was every boy's dream girl in school. She hid her feelings for Zion and just satisfied admiring him from afar. But a series of events led Claire closer to Zion in Senior High and that made her feelings for him intensified- growing from infatuation to love. She tried to act normal and fought hard to hide her feelings when they were together. At some points, she avoided him, but the more barrier she put between them, the more he barged into her ordered life. Meet the other characters of the story: Izzy, Harry, London and the Petrakis Family - Eros, Jade and Emerald.

Equivocality

By RhukzJ

343 39

If you have the slighest chance to change something in your life you ought to grab that opportunity, even if it means dying. That's heroism.

It's called falling in love

By tammzzy

939 15

He smirked, leaned in closer not that I thaught it was possible. My heartrare picked up as he lowered his mouth to my ear. "you my love. you are lying to yourself. You know the truth about yourself but you wont admit to it" "You can't deny me nor yourself any longer my dear beacuse your feelings is just so strong it's so powerful it glows out of you on it's own. A blind guy could feel that accros the street- it's that strong." he said "In your dreams lover boy" I said hoping he doesn't see my nervousness. "I know you are" he smirked ----------_______--------- I was always the tomboy of the school. The guys saw me as one of the 'guys' and talked to me like I was one of the 'guys'. Then one fatefull holliday I got a oppertunity for two years to go to Italy and Paris for a modelling contrac. First of al let me tell you a little about myself .My parents had twelfe kids, all boys exept for me and each one of us has a twin and the fist letter of our name is the same. My parents died when I was 2 years old . I have three best friends and one of them is a boy, so just imagine twelfe protective boy's not wanting me to go to Paris and Italy. After A LOT of fighting they agreed to let me go. So here I am two years later infront of my brothers " huge house" as he likes to call it with probably more than a dozen boy's inside waiting for me to come home. "Oh The Joy". Note the sarcasm what will happen when the badboy of the school begins to have intrest in her? What happens when he's forst to move away to help his mother? Will he ever come back? Will he remember her? And what will happen if he comes back? Will they be just as close As before?

You're Mine

By HeyItzMJ

3.6M 115K

"You're mine. And no one else's, got that?" Hunter asked looking down at me with a serious expression displayed on his face.

Silence is Golden

By RobThier

13.7M 850K

Silent. Cold. Chiselled perfection. That is Rikkard Ambrose, the most powerful business mogul in Great Britain. Free-spirited. Fiery. Definitely NOT attracted to the aforementioned business mogul. That is Lilly Linton, his personal secretary and secret weapon. The two have been playing a cat and mouse game for months. So far, Lilly has been able to fight down and deny her attraction to Mr Ambrose. But what happens when suddenly, the dark secrets of his past begin to surface and they are forced to go on a perilous journey into the South-American jungle? A journey they can only survive if they band together? Book 3 in the Watty-Award-winning "Storm and Silence" series.

Prince with benefits

By gabycabezut

77.2M 1.2M

***Published under Pop Fiction Books & Featured by Wattpad*** Emily Gonzalez's fiance, Sam, is handsome, has a good job and loves her-or at least that's what she thinks. But getting married has never felt right for her. What girl in her right mind would have nightmares about her wedding day anyway? Her fairy-tale love story suddenly ends when she catches Sam with another woman. Hurt and humiliated, Emily decides to cancel the wedding and jet off to England, hoping to start anew. Only days after her moving to England, she meets a guy, Scott. Emily can't stop thinking about him: his chocolaty eyes, his messy head of hair, and the way he makes her laugh. But there's a huge catch to this almost-perfect guy: he's the prince of England. For real. Is it possible to fall in love while the whole world is closely watching your romantic story unfold, or worse, waiting to see it fail? Or this will be the happily ever after Emily has been longing for? Highest-ranking: Romance #1 *Wattpad edition is my first draft. It has a gazillion mistakes and hasn't been edited. Sorry about that.*

Chasing Red

By isabelleronin

150M 4.8M

Chasing Red will be published in September and Always Red in November 2017! Available in ebook and paperback on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iBooks and Google Play. Links on my profile :) * When cynical straight-A college student Veronica Strafford gets kicked out of her apartment, notorious basketball player Caleb Lockhart offers her a place to stay. Intensely drawn to her, Caleb wants something for the first time in his life and pursues her. But Veronica's painful past is catching up to her, and her heart might just be the one thing Caleb can't win. * I'm the last thing she wants in her life. She keeps expecting me to disappoint her, to leave, but I'm here to stay. She owns me. It's as simple as that. She was fire and I wanted her to burn me. Like a moth to a flame, I could not resist. She was broken. A puzzle that was missing a few pieces. Maybe I'd carve my own pieces to complete her. They said she was going to be my ruin. ...then let her ruin me. WARNING: This story contains mature scenes and features another couple. Enter at your own risk. Chasing Red. Copyright © 2014. All Rights Reserved.

"You weren't even that special." I whispered. +

"There'll be a day you can say you're okay and mean it." I sang. Secret for the mad by Dodie was the one thing that helped me when I was down. +

"I promise you, it'll all make sense again." +

"That's the song you want to sing for Senior Night?" Mrs. K asked. +

"Why not?" I laughed. +

"It just doesn't seem like you, I mean it fits your vocal tone beautifully, and the vibrato in your voice is lovely with it." +

"But?" +

"Sweetie." She patted my arm, "We can talk if you want." +

"I know." I fake smiled. "I think when I'm fully ready, you'll be the first person I'll talk to you. I promise." +

"Alright then, I'll remember that." she smiled. "How's college searching?" +

"I found a great culinary arts school." +

"Culinary Arts? Like your father?" +

"Through everything he put me through, our best memories are cooking." I played with my ring finger. "It's all I know." +

"And music sweetie." +

"Yeah, but I'll never be good enough for that," +

"I thought the same thing once. And here I am" +

I smiled. That was the best memory between us. I mean there are a million great memories, but the one on one moments are the best. +

"Kate?" I heard Tyler say. +

I covered up in the blanket more as he sat by me. +

"What are you doing here?" +

"I couldn't sleep." I said looking up at the stars. "Never seems to shut off when I want it to." +

"Same." He whispered. +

"I think I owe you an apology." +

"For?" +

"I'm not sure." +

"Then don't" he said sweetly. "Don't do that to yourself. If you said sorry for every time I did something wrong, then you'll never trust me." +

"But what did you do?" +

"What did you do?" +

"I let you leave and didn't talk it out with you." +

He laughed. "I didn't want you to feel obligated to. If you need space that's what I'm more than happy to give you." +

"Wait." +

"Yes that's why I left." he wrapped his hands around his legs. "What were you thinking about that couldn't make you sleep." +

I laughed. "Seeing Mrs. K today and talking about my fidget just made some unhappy memories pop up." +

"Like Alec?" +

"Yeah." He didn't respond so I pushed myself. "Is there anything you really want to know about my past?" +

He looked up at me but I didn't turn towards him. +

"Uhm no not really." +

"Come on, I won't lie." +

"Okay. Why do you play with your ring finger?" +

"Ahh the basics." I laughed, "I caught it when I first met Alec. He used to comment on how I would be a "beautiful bride". It was basically his way of trying to have me open up. Our friends would call him future husband and after a while we'd laugh about it. The first time he'd ever held my hand, he grabbed my hand and played with my ring finger." I started to rub it. "For Christmas, he bought me a little ring to put on it so I had something to play with. It was the first time he'd shown that he liked me. I always thought it was a game with him." +

Story continues below

"So you didn't trust him when you first met him?" +

"No," I looked at the stars, "I didn't really like trusting guys." +

"Why?" +

"My dad." I grinned, "How cliché? The one guy who should give me unconditional love and make me think I'm really beautiful, actually made me think the opposite." +

"Did he ever-" +

"No, all emotional trauma. If I wore something tight fitting, he'd call me too fat. If I wore makeup it was too much. If I was asked out, he'd ask who'd ask me out. After a while I started to wear long sleeved shirts and pants every day. Even in the summer. Then my sophomore year, I didn't eat, and he'd tell me off. Asking why am I taking the easy way out. How is starving yourself to a certain image the easy way out? I had started to get so bad, I fainted in certain times. Basically anything he saw wrong with me, I saw wrong with myself times ten." +

"Oh." Was his only response. +

"Next question?" +

"Uhm, do you ever think you could fall in love again?" +

My heart stopped. "Sometimes I wonder that myself. But then I ask am I really capable of it?" +

"What do you mean?" +

"Like, I love seeing people in love. It's beautiful. Not just the honeymoon stage, but when you see a couple and know, yeah they fight, but they choose to give each other space, to think about if the fight was important or not. Then they pretend it didn't happen or they move passed it. It makes them stronger. It's like the strongest friendship, but more. I see that and I think, am I capable of that?" +

"And?" +

"I mean that's what we did." I didn't look at him but I saw from the corner of my eye that his mouth slightly opened. "I'm not saying I'm in love with you, but I'm also not saying I wouldn't be able to." +

"With me?" +

"With anyone." His jaw clenched. "The idea of opening up to someone scares me." I continued. "Think of it, if the men who are supposed to love you, support you, treat you with respect and dignity, if they chose to do the opposite, could you learn to love or even fathom the idea of it?" +

"I have." It was his turn. "My mom, we have a strange relationship, it's nothing like you and your dad, but it's close. She blamed me for my sister getting sick, when we first found out, and when I wanted to come and listen to what the doctors had to say, she'd just tell me no. She'd blame me for it." +

"I'm so sorry.." +

"Well after awhile I gave up on our relationship, how can you blame someone who had no iea what was going on?" +

"You can't." +

"But she did." his voice broke. "I think that's why I have such a strange relationship with girls, "Jennifers and Carries" they make it easy. Because I can shut it down. I can just refuse to get close to them, and they'll take a hint. Other than my sister, I've never had a strong connection with woman." +

"So you're scared." I said silently. "Of being hurt again. Of trying to jump and not knowing if that person is going to catch you or just leave." +

We didn't say anything for a while. But I took his hand. It wasn't in the romantic sense. I wanted him to know I'm willing to catch him if he was willing to do the same. Neither of us knew how to connect with someone of the opposite sex, and just grabbing his hand, it was the first step. +

"Together," I started. "I want us to take baby steps together." +

"In a romantic way?" +

I laughed, "No bozo, in a platonic way. Neither you nor I have any real sense on trust. you preach to me about dating but you've yet to notice we're in the same boat." I nudged him. "So why not take the same ride and see where we go." +

"As friends?" +

"As friends." +

"And if one day, one of us decides we want something more?" he squeezed my hand but he couldn't tell he was squeezing my heart too. +

"Then the other one has to be just as ready." I looked at him. "Deal?" +

"Is this your idea of asking me out in the future?" +

"No." I smiled noticing he was leaning in closer. "Because neither of us know if this'll work." +

"I have a pretty good idea that it will." He said inches from my face. Just before I could pull away he kissed me on the forehead. "When you're ready." He whispered. +

We sat there for a moment looking at each other and for a moment I could feel every negative thought drift away. He smiled and it made me smile just as wide. +

"There you are!" I heard a female voice squeal and I jumped away from him. "Tyler you forgot your key in my car." +

"Oh uhm thanks Lacey." He coughed. +

"Who's this?" we asked in unison. +

"Oh Lacey this is Kate the friend I told you about, Kate this is Lacey, I met her in a bar on my walk." +

And all the bad thoughts were back but they weren't about me. No they were about Lacey and Tyler. He looked at me and under the blankets squeezed my hand. +

"Pleasure meeting you Lacey." I smile letting go of Tyler's hand and getting up, "I guess you two should continue getting to know each other." +

"Are you his girlfriend?" The young blonde asked. +

"No." Tyler said before I could, "We're just friends." +

"Then why is she wearing a hoodie with your last name?" She pointed her hand at me. +

"Believe it or not friends share clothes." I laugh taking it off and handing it to her. "Believe me when I say, if he remembered your name after a while, you've got no threat from me. I'm just a friend." I strained. "Anyways, I need to pack, I've gotta get back to Pueblo tomorrow." +

Tyler stood up and grabbed my hand, "But we weren't supposed to go back till Monday." +

"Silly me, I forgot I put in a three day weekend." I smiled. "Again it was nice meeting you Lacey, you're in great hands with him." +

And I walked back to the hotel without my blanket, his hoodie, or a clear mind. +

"Stupid." I whispered to myself

[imsarabum]

Responses to {Part 18} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU Asks~

Please ‘Keep Reading’ to find my response to your ask ^^ As always, I have copied and pasted all asks into this post in regards to last night’s chapter to avoid clogging up people’s dashboards and to avoid spoilers for those who may still wish to read the chapter. Thank you ^^ 

@im-that-chesire-jax said: “…i-it’s Dracula!”  OH MY GOD IM CRYING RIGHT NOW??? WHY AM I CRYING YOU CANT LEAVE IT AS A CLIFFHANGER LIKE THAT (I mean you can, you just did) BUT I AM AMAZED BY YOUR WRITING I WILL BE ITCHING FOR NEXT WEEK TOU COME.

Thank you babe! I’m happy you liked it and that you’re looking forward to next week c:

@takura-rin said: Ahhh, the new chapter was so awesome ;; I’ll almost forgot that the update was today.. I’m so exited whats happening next ;;

I’m glad you remembered that the update was today! hehe, thank you so much for reading it :)

@mysr3 said: Saraaa OMG WHAT HAVE U DONE! My heart just stopped at the ending(screams) can’t wait for next chapter. Well done love❤️ ahhh plz will there be drama in next chapter. Even Yoongi’s character is evil but he is my bias, hope his character is somehow okay. I love the part when JK introduced Y/N to his family, interesting encounter n well explained details. U portrayed him such cute little boy who needs his mum to help with revealing his secrets. I screamed when he announced Y/N his partner n GF ><

A cute little boy haha yes! I guess even Vampires can be nervous when introducing their gf to their parents. But even more so for Jungkook because his gf is a human and he is a royal Vampire heh~ Thank you so much for reading the chapter my love!

@animeimmortal said: “lovely. Oh thats lovely. Awwww that’s nice. ^^ . Great looking party. what. What. WhAT. FUCK. WHAT. SHIT. WAT. FAK. WHHAAAAAAAT. oh shit.” I Won’t Stop You part 18 - a summary (cont.) also: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMN BRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHH

What a perfect summary! hahaha~ I really hope you enjoyed it and thank you so much for reading it!

Anonymous said: OH MY GOD IT WAS SO GOOD!!! I may or may not have laughed when she said “it’s Dracula,” but I can’t wait until the next part! There’s something about your writing that draws the reader in, and I feel as if I’m really in the story. You describe things in such a way that it’s like it’s happening to me, and I’m feeling the same things that they’re feeling in the story. You’re so talented and I hope that, if you enjoy it, you never stop writing because you’re so amazing at it.

Ahhhh thank you so so much! It’s so good to hear that you can really feel all the emotion as if you are truly there. You’re so sweet and kind and yes, I really do enjoy writing so I won’t be stopping! haha thank you for reading and messaging me too :)

Anonymous said: Oh dear I’m not gonna survive the next chapter am I? Please have mercy and don’t kill me entirely, you’ve already done half the job in this chapter

Hmmm I wonder c: hehe thank you so much for reading and despite being half dead, I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Anonymous said: WHY DO YOU DO THE THINGS YOU DO!? DO YOU KNOW HOW AMAZING YOUR STORY IS!? DO YOU KNOW KNOW HOW MUCH STRESS AND PTSD IT GIVES!? THIS IS AMAZING AND THE CLIFFHANGER AND EVERYTHING JUST URGHHHHHHHH

I apologise for any stress and PTSD caused! D: You’re welcome for the cliffhanger :P It seems I’ve caused a little distress with it - whoops :) hehe thank you so much for reading the chapter!

Anonymous said: Omg just read the new chapter and I don’t know how u do it. I literally felt like I was feeling her every emotion, like seriously you should have seen me, I was shaking in my chair from the anxiety! I love your work and will continue to follow you and read everything you write!! LOVE YOU XXX

Awww poor babe but I’m glad I could make you feel the emotions she was feeling in the chapter! Thank you so much my love and I greatly appreciate that ^^ I love you too!!

@omelys-space said: OH MY LORD THINGS WILL GET REAL NOW !!! Holy Shit I am so excited 😍 And Jungkook is such a babe man I wish I could date someone like him such a gentleman  Protect your girl!  So cute and Taehyung and Jimin just yes 😍 Thank you for this update it is amazing and a huge thank you for updating every week ❤❤❤❤

I know right when will I ever had a protective Vampire boyfriend to keep me safe from evil Vamps like Yoongi :c hehe~ Thank you so much my love and I’m so happy that you enjoyed it!

@semisweetsuga said: AAAAAAAAAAA THAT WAS. SUCH A GOOD CHAPTER I’M DECEASED AHHHHHHHH

HELLO KOTO THANK YOU BABU I’M HAPPY THAT YOU WERE THOROUGHLY SHOOK

Anonymous said: OK I’VE JUST FINISHED IT AND OMG CAN YOU NOT WHY DO YOU HAVE TO LEAVE IT ON SUCH A CLIFFHANGER although on a calmer note I’m so so so happy we’re now getting to the actual climax of the story 🎉🎉 - silent anon (cont.) Aside from being more-hyped-than-necessary for next week already, I also can’t wait to see how the rest of Jungkook’s family are going to react to OC calling Yoongi ‘Dracula’ - silent anon (not so silent anymore) (cont.) Also Happy Valentines !!! And I want to second what jiminiespinkie was saying about you being better that many published writers - she is 100% correct, you’re such a good writer you could honestly just get a writing career right now. I hope you were just being modest when you said you’ve got a long way to go before publication, and that you’re well aware of and are completely confident in how good of a writer you are - silent anon (So sorry for the spam, I keep forgetting to add things 😷)

You think this is the climax of the story?….that’s…interesting. c: Thank you so much for reading and I hope you’ll enjoy next weeks as much as this weeks! And yes, Happy Valentines Day to you too (even tho it’s not Valentines Day any more now but I still got a lot of love to give lol) And in regards to the publishing idea, I HAVE looked into different options, but tbh it makes me so anxious haha. Like, it feels really pretentious of me to actually charge money for people to read what I write. Like real talk, I would feel really weird asking people like even for £1 for a book lol but who knows what will happen in the future. Maybe you’ll see a published author called Sara Eren in 10 years time or something haha. Thank you so much for your lovely and encouraging words, they really made me happy and I smiled so much ^^ You’re so wonderful!

@jauntyjin said: I CABT FUCKING WAIT U TIL NEXT TUESDAY TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS

YAY I HOPE YOU’LL ENJOY NEXT WEEK’S UPDATE TOO! :D Thank you so much :D

Anonymous said: Happy Valentines Day Sara! ❤️ Your writing is something I live for, and I’m so blessed you’re blessing us with a new chapter of “I Won’t Stop You” on this day ✨✨

Happy Valentines Day lovely anon! You’re so welcome and thank you so much for reading it in return ❤️

@moonlighthollow said: Ok first of all I’m SO impressed on how well described &matching(if that’s even a word to describe someone idek😂) your characters are,i mean i can totally imagine taehyung being like this even tho he isn’t gay(･ิω･ิ)but his behavior, the way he talks &the way you describe his expressions are SO on point idk if that makes any sense😂besides of that i love this story so much i think it’s my fav. Story of all so far cause it’s so well written &researched😍& OMG I’M DYING YOONGIS PART IS NEXT OMFG

I’m really happy to know that you think everything is well described ^^ Don’t worry, it makes perfect sense! I understand completely what you’re saying hehe ^^ Thank you so much my darling and I hope you’ll like next week’s update too! :D

Anonymous said: Oke-No. I’m not okay. You know, I’d want to hit u, but that’s not nice and u are SUCH AN AMAZING WRITER. So I’ll just go into cardiac arrest until next monday. Bye.  R.I.P

Pls don’t hit me I’m very small and unaggressive and I’d probably cry my eyes out lolol Thank you so much! I’m really glad you liked(?) the chapter haha! Thank you again my love ^^

@wonderful39530 said: If I could have a pic that could express how I’m feeling about chapter 18 on I Wont Stop You lets just say it’ll be all over the place!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!!

Awwwww thank you so much babe! Thank you for enjoying it and reading it, that means so much to me ^^ Stay awesome my dear!

@hayley797-blog said: You killed me.You killed my non existent heart.I wish you could update sooner I can’t wait a whole week…but I guess I just have to wait.Omg I loveee your stories

I apologise for killing you *tries to bring you back to life) haha :c I wish I could update more often too but it takes time to write each chapter unfortunately! Thank you so much babe, I’m so happy that you’re enjoying it!

@fashionkilla124 said: THATS IT IM SELLING MY SOUL TO KFC FOR 5 DOLLARS I CANT NOOO YOONGI WHY

NO DON’T SELL YOUR SOUL TO KFC. SELL IT TO ME INSTEAD. ;D

Anonymous said: Ah I love your writing! Do you know how many chapters might be in IWSY so I know the date I will die? Fighting!

Thank you so much darling!! And no, I’m sorry but I have no idea how many chapters there will be!

@audreymv said: IM NOT READY OMG WHO JUST WALKED IN???? Omg i am on edge and like beautiful. Your writing makes me want to cry and i might just like how. You are so amazing Sara. How dare I not read this for 1 week like. This is my favorite series and you are one of my favorite writers, too. Why are you so amazing. Just i am so overwhelmed. Like please let something not go wron

YOU DON’T KNOW WHO JUST WALKED IN??? xD Ahhh don’t worry about not reading for one week, it’s okay! You can always come back to here because it’s not going anywhere! Thank you so much my love, you’re so sweet and lovely to me and I really appreciate it more than I can describe ^^ Thanks for reading and I hope you’ll enjoy next weeks’ chapter too! :D

Anonymous said: And yet again you slayed me with your amazing writing skills, seriously, you never fail to make me happy every single thursday -cat anon

Hello Cat anon! Yay, I’m so happy it slayed you hehe~ ^^ I’m so happy I can make you happy every single week and I hope I can continue to do that for you as the story continues as well! Thank you so much my dear :D

Anonymous said: I’M MAD AT YOU BUT I REALLY LOVE YOU AT THE SAME TIME BUT LIKE SERIOUSLY YOU CANT JUST END THE CHAPTER LIKE THAT BC AAAHHHHHSMJISMID. IDMMXKSM C M J. SKAK,SMIC. IWSY IS GREAT KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK

PLEASE DON’T BE MAD AT ME ;; It seems I’ve caused a few people some distress with my cliffhangers once again, but…it’s fun :P I’m innocent I swear! heheh thank you so much for reading the chapter my dear it means a lot to me!^^

Anonymous said: hOLY FREAKING SHIT. THAT ENDING WITH THE GUYS (Yoongi, Jhope, Rapmon and Jin right?) LEFT ME DYING I WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT OMGOMGOMG I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER WEEK??!?!?!? I WONT SURVIVE I HAVE TO KNOWWWWWWWW

DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER! lolol c: You’ll have to survive another week to find out my love, but thank you so much for reading and I hope you’ll enjoy it again next week! :D

Anonymous said: OMG THAT CHAPTER I’M CRYING IT WAS SO GOOD also I’m a Lil confused so like what must one do to become a full vampire?? Like what was it that made jimin so relieved?

Thank you so much my love! And in regards to Jimin, I guess you’ll just have to wait for the story to explain as the chapters continue! Sorry, no spoilers ;D

Anonymous said: FUCK👏 ME👏 UP 👏WITH 👏THIS👏 NEW 👏CHAPTER 👏 Like I swear whenever Jungkook gets all playful I DIE! And that Yoongi reveal at the end literally is so great to the plotline. I swear you are one of the best writers out here and thanks for taking your time with such a masterpiece 😊

Yessssssss I’m so happy to know that! And ikr right? Playful and flirty VampKook got me feeling so hmhmmgkflmgspg lolol c: Thank you so much for your wonderful words, they mean the world and more to me, you have no idea ^^

Anonymous said: Your fanfic is amazing, I really love your writing, pls write some smutty blood sucking thnk u <3

I may or may not have a Jackson Wang oneshot Vampire!AU planned in the future~~ blood sucking smut included heh~ But you didn’t hear that from me! c: Thank you so much my love ^^

Anonymous said: SARA NOOOOOOOO. WHY YOU DO THIS?? I’ve been literally dying for jungkook to tell y/n what he really is omg I wanna know what’s gonna happen to them. AND NOW YOONGI SHOWS UP?? AND SHE RECOGNIZES HIM OMG. CRAP IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN. PLUS I WANNA KNOW WHAT Y/N IS OMGOMGOMG STAAAHHPP. How are you such a good writer omg.  - 7:45 anon

Hello again 7:45 anon! I’m so happy to know that I caused you a great deal of panic with this chapter :D hehe~ Thank you so much for reading and I hope next week’s update can evoke the same feelings, too :3 I hope you’re having a great week!

Anonymous said: SARA!!!!!!! HOW COULD YOU STOP THERE OH MY GOD!!!! I FEEL LIKE MY HEART IS GONNA BEAT OUT OF MY CHEST PLEASE TELL ME WHATS GONNA HAPPEN!!! IT WAS ALL GOING SO WELL AND THEN BAM THE D R A M A ABOUT TO UNFOLD

It’s always most calm before the storm c: Hehe I hope you enjoyed reading the chapter and thank you so much for reading it! ^^

Anonymous said: Tuesday is so far away 😩. How could you end it there oml. This is not a cliffhanger if I’m being thrown over the edge already. Great job great job. Tuesday can’t get here fast enough

Awww I’m so sorry my lil babes :c *pulls you off the cliff* it’s okay~ hehe Thank you so much and I hope that you’ll enjoy the next chapter!

@sehkii said: ooomg i love i won’t stop you sm and the way you right just??? blows my mind??? likE HOW??? i love how you’ve kept us on edge with everything going on and i think i figured what the mc is? at least what she can do? i mean you basically put it out there in the newest chapter but i’m pretty sure the mc speeds up the vampire transition time? aND THE REASON YOONGI WANTS HER IS TO CREATE AN ARMY OF VAMPIRES TO GET BACK AT THE JEONS??? THis is my theory but honestly i’m ready for anything fuck me up

Yes - it certainly appears that it is one of the powers that her ‘condition’ is made up of. But, I wonder if there is a deeper reason or meaning to it? Hm? c: Your deduction is clever and on the right path, so thank you for being so observant and picking up on that aspect, it makes me smile so much as the writer to see that :D Thank you also for reading it and messaging me afterwords with your theory, I enjoyed it quite a lot ;D hehe^^

Anonymous said: IM JUNGSHOOK. CHAPTER 18 GOT ME ALL THE WAY F***ED UP (excuse my language) LIKE EVERYONE IS LIKE 'Aye party lit af’ then it’s like *doors swing open* 'omfg ashdvnglf he’s arrived* and I’m just sad and lonely and upset but still extremely happy and in love with you. But like why you do dis. We have to wait a whole week to see what happens next. I love you 💜 ~LilKookie Anon

Hello LilKookie anon! LOL AYE PARTY LIT AF hahaha I laughed too much at that - why did I imagine Namjoon screaming that when I read it? xD Please don’t be sad and lonely, I’m always here for you ^^ and I love you too! Thank you so much for reading it and enjoying it my love, it means a lot to me! ^^

Anonymous said: Hey, I just wanted to let you know that your fics are still part of my self care routine. It’s Tuesday nights now :) Love your writing!!! - self-care anon

Hello self-care anon! Long time no talk my dear, how are you keeping? Have you been taking care of yourself? I hope so! And YAY I’m so glad I can still be a part of your self-care routine ^^ Thank you so much my love!

Anonymous said: I. AM. SCREAMING. OH MY GOSH. When she started chatting with the family I thought “oh man, what if Suga comes.” AND THEN AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. NO NO NO. Lolol Serrena super confused though. “what’s wrong wth the human???” Wow. You can’t just end it there!!!!! Wow. I am, wow. WOWOWOWOWOWOOWOW. Help. #IWSY

Lol yes! Because Serrena has no idea that the reader even knows who Yoongi is! The only people who know of her past thus far is Jungkook, Taehyung and Jimin bc of the Montgomery’s essentially fucking up and not realising that there was a young girl being left without parents too…:c Thank you so much for reading the chapter my love and I’m so happy you enjoyed it!

Anonymous said: OH SHIT ALL HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE. THEY WERE GONNA TELL HER WHAT THEY WERE BUT FUCK YOONGI WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUNGKOOK WILL KILL YOU ALL THE JEONS REALLY. JUNGKOOK MUST BE SO CONFLICTED LIKE KILL YOONGI OR STAN WITH YN TO PROTECT HER. AND YN OH SHIT SHE IS GONNA PISS HER PANTS, FOR A GOOD REASONS. SARA I’M FUCKED UP SHIT OMG NO THIS CLIFFHANGER WRECKED ME I’VE SAID I NEED TUESDAY TO COME BUT NO NOW I REALLY REALLY NEED TUESDAY TO COME OMG POOR YN. JUNGKOOK FIX IT TTUTT OMG I’M SCREAMING SARA AHH

I APOLOGISE FOR WRECKING YOU WITH THE CLIFFHANGER BUT LETS BE HONEST YOU SHOULD EXPECT THAT FROM ME BY NOW ;D lolol Thank you for reading and again I apologise for any distress I caused with the cliffhanger muhahaha c:

@coppertopging said: AHFBEKDIVHNEKSIFNGNEKWFHRJR!!!! YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF CLIFFHANGERS!!! WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!??! *proceeds to ugly sob* i don’t like you right now…

*bows* yes, that I am ;D PLEASE LOVE ME I PROMISE I’M NOT THE EVIL CLIFFHANGER QUEEN I CLAIM TO BE :c lolol But…I hope you enjoyed it? xD Thank you for reading my love ^^

Anonymous said: HOW DARE YOU YOONGI OMG

*shakes fist* DAMN THAT RASCAL

Anonymous said: SARA I LOVE  YOUU THANK U SO MUCH FOR TGIS SERIE OMG THIS SO GOOD I NEED A DRINK

I LOVE YOU TOO AND YOU’RE WELCOME THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING - also, I take no responsibility for driving anyone to alcoholism due to my stories :x

@fragmentedxmemory said: OMG I Won’t Stop You is an AMAZING story!!! Holy cow so much emotion in the last chapter!!! I’m in love with this story and I’m in love with your writing talent. Keep up the great work and can’t wait for part 19. 😍😍😍👌🏽👌🏽

Hello lovely! Thank you so much for your wonderful words, and I’m so happy that you’re enjoying the story so far ^^ Thank you for reading and I hope you’ll enjoy the next one too!

Anonymous said: Jungkook: talks about how precious the reader is to him  Me: *is a crying mess*

Fun fact; my mum reads these chapters before I post them and she was a crying mess at that part. She thought it was so endearing of him to say and it made her very emotional aww c: Thank you for reading my dear!

@jynxy24 said: NEWEST CHAPTER MADE ME- URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I couldn’t wait for school to be over. Hahaha, I’ll have to study for an exam now, thanks so much for this amazong chapter, Sara! ^^

Ahhh Jynxy thank you so much for reading babe! I hope you can study well but don’t overwork yourself either! I hope you do well in your exam my love :D

Anonymous said: I LOVE THIS CHAPTER SO MUCH I’M SCREAMING - wedding anon

HELLO MY LOVE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING I’M SO HAPPY YOU LOVED IT :D

Anonymous said: (IWSY is amazing my every message is by default talking about that haha) ANW thanks to you Sara I actually looked into got7 and Guess who just found a new bias 🌚 Choi youngjae 💙  -eggyook anon

Hello eggyook anon! Thank you so very much for reading the chapter and enjoying it ^^ You’re so awesome! AND OH MY GOD REALLY THAT’S AMAZING YES YOUNGJAE IS SUCH A PERFECT RAY OF SUNSHINE HE WILL FILL YOUR DAYS WITH ENDLESS LAUGHTER AND RADIANT LIGHT you made an excellent choice c: I’m so happy you could look into them because of me, that makes me so so happy c:

Anonymous said: IM SCREECHING YO THAT CLIFF HANGER THO HOW DARE U. THIS SHIT REALLY BUTTERS MY EGG ROLL U KNOW. IM SO HYPE FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER OML. I WANNA CRI FML. Also ilysm and I hope you’re happy and healthy ok bye 💕

“That shit really butters my egg roll” I’M FUCKING DYING NO STOP I LITERALLY PEED NO I HSDBGSKJDNGSN oh ym god i can’t breathe that fucked me up I’m using that in my own life now thank you so much for this eloquent expression LOL thank you so much for reading the chapter and I love you too! I hope you’re having an amazing week and I hope you are also happy and healthy my dear ^^

@cynicalspacehoe said: Oh. My. God. Chapter 18 had me extremely shook to say the least. Amazing job as always!

Thank you so much my dear I’m so happy you liked it! ^^

Anonymous said: Omg I.. The newest chapter of IWSY was amazing! It made me feel all kinds of things. I was so happy and nervous and terrified (and aroused) when the protagonist was feeling those things. UGH. YOURE AMAZING.

Yay I’m so glad you could feel all those wonderful things :3 YOU’RE EVEN MORE AMAZING thank you so much for reading it my love ^^

@ineffabl-y said: EVERYTHING CONNECTS AND MAKE SO MUCH MORE SENSE I’M SCREAMING AHHHHHHHHH🤸🏿‍♀️🤸🏿‍♀️🤸🏿‍♀️🤸🏿‍♀️

Yes yes yes everything will connect and things will all start to be revealed c: Thank you for reading honey! :3

[writingguide003-blog]

44 Writing Hacks From Some of the Greatest Writers Who Ever Lived

New Post has been published on https://writingguideto.com/must-see/44-writing-hacks-from-some-of-the-greatest-writers-who-ever-lived/

44 Writing Hacks From Some of the Greatest Writers Who Ever Lived

Writing looks fun, but doing it professionally is hard. Like really hard. Why on earth am I doing this?-hard.

Which is probably why so many people want to write, yet so few actually do. But there are ways to make it easier, as many writers can tell you. Tricks that have been discovered over the centuries to help with this difficult craft.

In another industry, these tricks would be considered trade secrets. But writers are generous and they love to share (often in books about writing). They explain their own strategies for how to deal with writers block to how to make sure your computer never eats your manuscript. They give away this hard-won knowledge so that other aspiring writers wont have to struggle in the same way. Over my career, Ive tried to collect these little bits of wisdom in my commonplace book (also a writers trick which I picked up from Montaigne) and am grateful for the guidance theyve provided.

Below, Ive shared a collection of writing hacks from some amazing writers like Kurt Vonnegut, George Orwell, Stephen King, Elizabeth Gilbert, Anne Lamott, and Raymond Chandler. I hope its not too presumptuous but I snuck in a few of my own too (not that I think Im anywhere near as good as them).

Anyway, heres to making this tough job a tiny bit easier!

[*] When you have an idea for an article or a bookwrite it down. Dont let it float around in your head. Thats a recipe for losing it. As Beethoven is reported to have said, If I don’t write it down immediately I forget it right away. If I put it into a sketchbook I never forget it, and I never have to look it up again.

[*] The important thing is to start. At the end of John Fantes book Dreams from Bunker Hill, the character, a writer, reminds himself that if he can write one great line, he can write two and if he can write two he can write three, and if he can write three, he can write forever. He pauses. Even that seemed insurmountable. So he types out four lines from one of his favorite poems. What the hell, he says, a man has to start someplace.

[*] In fact, a lot of writers use that last technique. In Tobias Wolffs autobiographical novel Old School, the character types the passages from his favorite books just to know what it feels like to have those words flow through his fingertips. Hunter S. Thompson often did the same thing. This is another reason why technologies like ebooks and Evernote are inferior to physical interaction. Just highlighting something and saving it to a computer? Theres no tactile memory there.

[*] The greatest part of a writers time is spent in reading; a man will turn over half a library to make one book. Samuel Johnson

[*] Tim Ferriss has said that the goal for a productive writing life is two crappy pages a day. Just enough to make progress, not too ambitious to be intimidating.

[*] They say breakfast (protein) in the morning helps brain function. But in my experience, thats a trade-off with waking up and getting started right away. Apparently Kurt Vonnegut only ate after he worked for 2 hours. Maybe he felt like after that hed earned food.

[*] Michael Malice has advised dont edit while you write. I think this is good advice.

[*] In addition to making a distinction between editing and writing, Robert Greene advises to make an equally important distinction between research and writing. Trying to find where youre going while youre doing it is begging to get horribly lost. Writing is easier when the research is done and the framework has been laid out.

[*] Nassim Taleb wrote in Antifragile that every sentence in the book was a derivation, an application or an interpretation of the short maxim he opened with. THAT is why you want to get your thesis down and perfect. It makes the whole book/essay easier.

[*] Break big projects down into small, discrete chunks. As I am writing a book, I create a separate document for each chapter, as I am writing them. Its only later when I have gotten to the end that these chapters are combined into a single file. Why? The same reason it feels easier to swim seven sets of ten laps, than to swim a mile. Breaking it up into pieces makes it seem more achievable. The other benefit in writing? It creates a sense that each piece must stand on its own.

[*] Embrace what the strategist and theorist John Boyd called the draw-down period. Take a break right before you start. To think, to reflect, to doubt.

[*] On being a writer: All the days of his life he should be reading as faithfully as his partaking of food; reading, watching, listening. John Fante

[*] Dont get caught up with pesky details. When I am writing a draft, I try not to be concerned with exact dates, facts or figures. If I remember that a study conducted by INSERT UNIVERSITY found that XX% of businesses fail in the first FIVE/SIX? months, thats what I write (exactly like that). If I am writing that on June XX, 19XX Ronald Reagan gave his famous Tear Down This Wall speech in Berlin in front of XX,XXX people, thats how its going to look. Momentum is the most important thing in writing, so Ill fill the details in later. I just need to get the sentences down first. “Get through a draft as quickly as possible.” is how Joshua Wolf Shenk put it.

[*] Raymond Chandler had a trick of using small pieces of paper so he would never be afraid to start over. Also with only 12-15 lines per page, it forced economy of thought and actionwhich is why his stuff is so readable.

[*] In The Artists Way, Julia Cameron reminds us that our morning pages and our journaling dont count as writing. Just as walking doesnt count as exercise, this is just priming the pumpits a meditative experience. Make sure you treat it as such.

[*] Steven Pressfield said that he used to save each one of his manuscripts on a disk that hed keep in the glovebox of his car. Robert Greene told me he sometimes puts a copy of his manuscript in the trunk of his car just in case. I bought a fireproof gun safe and keep my stuff in therejust in case.

[*] My editor Niki Papadopoulos at Penguin: Its not what a book is. Its what a book does.

[*] While you are writing, read things totally unrelated to what youre writing. Youll be amazed at the totally unexpected connections youll make or strange things youll discover. As Shelby Foote put it in an interview with The Paris Review: I cant begin to tell you the things I discovered while I was looking for something else.

[*] Writing requires what Cal Newport calls deep workperiods of long, uninterrupted focus and creativity. If you dont give yourself enough of this time, your work suffers. He recommends recording your deep work time each dayso you actually know if youre budgeting properly.

[*] Software does not make you a better writer. Fuck Evernote. Fuck Scrivner. You dont need to get fancy. If classics were created with quill and ink, youll probably be fine with a Word Document. Or a blank piece of paper. Dont let technology distract you. As Joyce Carol Oates put it in an interview, Every writer has written by hand until relatively recent times. Writing is a consequence of thinking, planning, dreaming this is the process that results in writing, rather than the way in which the writing is recorded.

[*] Talk about the ideas in the work everywhere. Talk about the work itself nowhere. Dont be the person who tweets Im working on my novel. Be too busy writing for that. Helen Simpson has Faire et se taire from Flaubert on a Post-it near her desk, which she translates as Shut up and get on with it.

[*] Why cant you talk about the work? Its not because someone might steal it. Its because the validation you get on social media has a perverse effect. Youll less likely to put in the hard work to complete something that youve already been patted (or patted yourself) on the back for.

[*] When you find yourself stuck with writers block, pick up the phone and call someone smart and talk to them about whatever the specific area youre stuck with is. Not that youre stuck, but about the topic. By the time you put your phone down, youll have plenty to write. (As Seth Godin put it, nobody gets talkers block.)

[*] Keep a commonplace book with anecdotes, stories and quotes you can always usefrom inspiration to directly using in your writing. And these can be anything. H.L. Mencken for example, would methodically fill a notebook with incidents, recording scraps of dialogue and slang, columns from the New York Sun.

[*] As you write down quotes and observations in your commonplace book, make sure to do it by hand. As Raymond Chandler wrote, when you have to use your energy to put words down, you are more apt to make them count.

[*] Elizabeth Gilbert has a good trick for cutting: As you go along, Ask yourself if this sentence, paragraph, or chapter truly furthers the narrative. If not, chuck it. And as Stephen King famously put it, kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribblers heart, kill your darlings.

[*] Strenuous exercise everyday. For me, and for a lot of other writers, its running. Novelist Don DeLillo told The Paris Review how after writing for four hours, he goes running to shake off one world and enter another. Joyce Carol Oates, in her ode to running, said that the twin activities of running and writing keep the writer reasonably sane and with the hope, however illusory and temporary, of control.

[*] Ask yourself these four questions from George Orwell: What am I trying to say? What words will express it? What image or idiom will make it clearer? Is this image fresh enough to have an effect? Then finish with these final two questions: Could I put it more shortly? Have I said anything that is avoidably ugly?

[*] As a writer you need to make use of everything that happens around you and use it as material. Make use of Seinfelds question: Im never not working on material. Every second of my existence, I am thinking, Can I do something with that?

[*] Airplanes with no wifi are a great place to write and even better for editing. Because there is nowhere to go and nothing else to do.

[*] Print and put a couple of important quotes up on the wall to help guide you (either generally, or for a specific project). Heres a quote from a scholar describing why Ciceros speeches were so effective which I put on my wall while I was writing my first book. At his best [Cicero] offered a sustained interest, a constant variety, a consummate blend of humour and pathos, of narrative and argument, of description and declamation; while every part is subordinated to the purpose of the whole, and combines, despite its intricacy of detail, to form a dramatic and coherent unit. (emphasis mine)

[*] Focus on what youre saying, worry less about how. As William March wrote in The Bad Seed, A great novelist with something to say has no concern with style or oddity of presentation.

[*] A little trick I came up with. After every day of work, I save my manuscript as a new file (for example: EgoIsTheEnemy2-26.docx) which is saved on my computer and in Dropbox (before Dropbox, I just emailed it to myself). This way I keep a running record of the evolution of book. It comforts me that I can always go back if I mess something up or if I have to turn back around.

[*] Famous ad-man David Ogilvy put it bluntly: Use short words, short sentences and short paragraphs.

[*] Envision who you are writing this for. Like really picture them. Dont go off in a cave and do this solely for yourself. As Kurt Vonnegut put it in his interview with The Paris Review: …every successful creative person creates with an audience of one in mind. Thats the secret of artistic unity. Anybody can achieve it, if he or she will make something with only one person in mind.

[*] Do not chase exotic locations to do some writing. Budd Schulbergs novel The Disenchanted about his time with F. Scott Fitzgerald expresses the dangers well: It was a time everyone was pressing wonderful houses on us. I have a perfectly marvelous house for you to write in, theyd say. Of course no one needs marvelous houses to write in. I still knew that much. All you needed was one room. But somehow the next house always beckoned.”

[*] True enough, though John Fante said that when you get stuck writing, hit the road.

[*] Commitments (at the micro-level) are important too. An article a week? An article a month? A book a year? A script every six weeks? Pick something, but commit to itpublicly or contractually. Quantity produces quality, as Ray Bradbury put it.

[*] Dont ever write anything you dont like yourself and if you do like it, dont take anyones advice about changing it. They just dont know. Raymond Chandler

[*] Neil Strauss and Tucker Max gave me another helpful iteration of that idea (which I later learned is from Neil Gaiman): When someone tells you something is wrong with your writing, theyre usually right. When they tell you how to fix it, theyre almost always wrong.

[*] Ogilvy had another good rule: Never use jargon words like reconceptualize, demassification, attitudinally, judgmentally. They are hallmarks of a pretentious ass.

[*] Print out the work and edit it by hand as often as possible. It gives you the readers point of view.

[*] Hemingway advised fellow writer Thomas Wolfe to break off work when you ‘are going good.’Then you can rest easily and on the next day easily resume. Brian Koppelman (Rounders, Billions) has referred to this as stopping on wet edge. It staves off the despair the next day.

[*] Keep the momentum: Never stop when you are stuck. You may not be able to solve the problem, but turn aside and write something else. Do not stop altogether. Jeanette Winterson

That taps me out for now. But every time I read I compile a few more notecards. Ill update you when Ive got another round to share.

In the meantime, stop reading stuff on the internet and get back to writing!

But if you have a second…share your own tips below.

Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/

[enzaime-blog]

Spina Bifida Won’t Slow Down Ty Wiberg

New Story has been published on https://enzaime.com/spina-bifida-wont-slow-ty-wiberg/

Spina Bifida Won’t Slow Down Ty Wiberg

If everyone else can do it, why can’t I?

If Ty Wiberg, a 13-year-old from Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin, has one guiding principle in life, that might be the one.

The Chippewa Falls Middle School student has undergone 16 surgeries, walks with braces and uses a wheelchair for distance. Ty was born with spina bifida, a spinal cord malformation. He also suffers from hydrocephalus, a buildup of fluid in the brain for which a tube-like shunt drains excess fluid. And he has limited sensation from the knees down, among other issues.

Not that any of that is slowing him down.

Ty mono-skis, distance races with his wheelchair, scuba dives, plays wheelchair basketball, swims and does karate. This past winter, he spent a week at a downhill ski camp in Colorado for kids with disabilities and injured veterans. This spring, he recently received his black belt in karate. 

“I think his tenacity and his ability to just keep going and keep a positive attitude when things are rough is pretty amazing,” says Michele Wiberg, Ty’s mother.

His father, Al, agrees. “That’s the biggest thing that I see with Ty, too, is he always wants to try new things. ‘If everyone else can do it, why can’t I?'” Al says.

Ty’s parents learned they were going to have a son with spina bifida during a routine ultrasound and were warned he may never walk. Spina bifida occurs in utero when the neural tube fails to properly close — potentially damaging the spinal cord and causing a wide range of physical and cognitive disabilities.

“The news was pretty devastating for us, because you don’t ever want anything to be wrong with your child,” Michele recalls. “But something deep down inside as a mom said, ‘No, he’ll be able to walk.'”

Still, he’s surprised everyone with what he’s been able to accomplish. In addition to all Ty’s extracurricular activities — “I really like doing stuff outdoors,” he says — he also speaks publicly about living with limitations.

“We all have limitations, and if there are things that we don’t think we can do, we’ve just got to put our minds to it and find different ways of doing it.” – Ty Wiberg

“I talk about going above and beyond,” Ty says. “We all have limitations, and if there are things that we don’t think we can do, we’ve just got to put our minds to it and find different ways of doing it.”

Jane Byrd, M.D., is Ty’s Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine physician at Mayo Clinic Health System – Chippewa Valley in Chippewa Falls. She’s known Ty since birth and says he’s “an inspiration to everybody, whether or not he had spina bifida.” Spina bifida can often impact patients’ independence and activity, but Dr. Byrd notes that Ty’s disability certainly isn’t limiting him. “He’s probably more active than a number of children I have who have no underlying disabilities,” she says.

Ty receives his general medical care locally and specialized care from the Spina Bifida Clinic at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, an integrated clinic where patients can see all the specialists relevant for their care in one place and on one day. This typically includes Pediatric Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation; Orthopedic Surgery; Neurology; Neurosurgery; Physical Therapy; Occupational Therapy; Social Services; Urology; and Dietetics.

Sherilyn Driscoll, M.D., Ty’s Pediatric Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation physician, says she and her Mayo Clinic colleagues communicate regularly, ensuring a coordinated, cohesive care plan is in place. The communication and coordination extends to Ty’s doctors back home.

“We love Dr. Byrd, and the collaboration between Mayo Clinic Health System, and the Spina Bifida Clinic in Rochester is just amazing,” Michele adds. “I wouldn’t want my son to go anywhere else.”

[unicornninjabitch]

Follower: literally no one asked for a depressing ass life update

Me; …… lol you wild anyways

I hate not being able to ask for help and i hate not being able to stand up for myself. Growing up i was thrown into a lot of fights between my parents and i always felt like i had to pick a side and stick to it and i usually sided with my mom for reasons we dont gotta get into rn so me and my mom have been super close like my whole life. She was all I had for most of my life because i was a kid playing parent since my mom worked a lot and my dad wanted to do whatever he wanted, so imagine little me barely out of elementary school trying to make sure my 5 year old brother is doing homework and the angry 8 year old isnt being a complete asshole to the 5 year old. I never really got to just be a kid cause i was making sure the house wouldnt fall apart under our feet, so now that im being thrown to the wolves as far as growing up goes I don’t think its fair that when i ask for help i get looked down on and belittled and get looked at like im some stupid kid, like, i was never allowed to just be a stupid kid so how come now that im 18 and dont know how to do everything immediately am i suddenly a stupid kid who probably cant make it in the real world? Its bullshit and not fair. Tbh its not just that i cant ask for help with cause growing up i thought asking for help meant weakness and i had to be strong cause i was the oldest and asking for help meant stressing out my mom even more than she was cause she had a hard time putting food on the table by herself.

As for standing up for myself, okay i havent hidden that my mom hasnt been supportive in any way after i came out cause i try to cover it up with humor, but like, she was my best friend for so many years when i had no one else to lean on (and thats a story for another day tbfh) she was like all i had. She was supportive of my writing even when it sucked and when i wanted to be a teacher but its like she did a 180 or some shit. Okay so when i switched to wanting to do psych she was kinda like “okay but make sure a certificate will be transferable or whatever” and one time i said how i THOUGHT about MAYBE doing english as a major cause i love writing and i thought maybe i could start up a publishing company that mostly published books centered around minorities cause that seemed like something id enjoy tbh, but she shitted all over even the thought of majoring in english just like “What job could you possibly get with an english degree?” and her friend, with an english degree, told me an English degree is basically useless and like??yes i understand english isnt the most employable degree but maybe i want more to life than a job, maybe i wanted to do something im passionate about or something (dont get me wrong im really passionate with my current career path but still it was an idea i was really into and wanted to learn more about and i still wanna double major but besides the point) I couldnt even explaing why i was thinking about that major i kinda defulted to head down, shoulders drop, say “yeah maybe you gotta point” and like thats not fair to me i dont think. That was the start of the slippery slope of her becoming more and more unsupportive with everything i do. I didnt apply to that many schools and most the final 2 were Elizabethtown College and University of Bridgeport, Etown was way more expensive and i kinda didnt want to go there tbh but they said i could apply for free so i did. Now for college i did EVERYTHING myself. I looked up colleges, compared prices and scholarships, took notes on all the majors and minors i thought i could want, applied on my own and anything else I did by myself. Looking back i realize i probably shouldve applied to more schools or looked more at the professors or something, but i didnt cause i didnt know to, but she gave me such a hard time with UB. She complained about everything about it until i finally said “fine ill just go to county and then Rutger or something” (which isnt a bad plan and wouldve saved me a shit ton of money but i wanted to get tf away from jersey) Thats when she said fine and said she’d help financially (even though the loans getting transfered to my name after i graduate but okay). So there was kinda a wedge in our relationship but nothing huge we were still pretty close but we just ignored certain subjects like school and shit. Then in the summer she gave me hell for not working like we agreed i wouldnt work during the school year cause i speant so much of junior year wanting to kill myself and was so fucking depressed we, as in the both of us, decieded on that, than in the VERY begining of summer i broke my fucking ankle, so i couldnt really walk anywhere and i dont drive (side note, i hate when driving gets brought up because just sitting behind the wheel gives me so much anxiety, like yes its a good skill to have but i cant drive so please leave me alone i hate myself for it enough) Plus i speant a majority of the summer super depressed and anxiety ridden and kinda scared about a lot of stuff.So it was nice to hear i was lazy and ungrateful when somedays it took everything to get out of bed to feed myself let alone clean up around the house. Also as a certified Millennial™  I cover my self hatred and depression with jokes and memes o the one day i make a joke about it and she said “you dont really hate yourself, you wouldnt know what that feels like” Okay 1. I most definetly hate myself just cause i dont walk around super edgy and emo doesnt mean i stopped critizing my every action, just cause you dont notice me not letting myself eat/eating everything in sight doesnt mean i dont wish i looked like literally anything else. No i hate myself i just cover it up so fuck off.

Then theres coming out (which gets its own paragraph cause its a fucking mess). I came up via a letter that i left in her room and she didnt say anything for maybe a week so i speant a week with my defult being panic attack or “maybe everythings gonna be okay i mean she hasnt really said my name i dont think and maybe everythings okay and youre just freaking out for nothing” but nope we had a talk and if you dont know apperently you have to know right out of the womb that your trans. My moms best friend has a niece whos trans and she was given so much shit from the adults in her life just and still does (this kids literally 14 and they treat the poor girl like such shit its awful) and i was never into sterotypical “boy things”. I didnt like sports other than soccer but only for fun, I was very much the quiet kid who usually had his nose in a book, so i think that mixed with seeing this little girl treated like trash by people we both loved and looked up to (cause my moms best friends family is kinda like a second family to me) i never thought that could ever be me. Later in life i questioned my sexuality and looking at a bunch of terms and things some of them related to me, but i thought no ill put that on the back burner for now just cause maybe im just projecting/thinking about it too much rn. Then even later in life Kate came out to me and we talked and i noticed some similarities in what she said to what i felt, so i looked up terms and definitions and took online quizzes almost all day everyday to figure out what was going on with me. Almost as long as i known Kate shes been my safe person, especially with this just in case I realized no this isnt who i am or whatever, but either way Kate was a huge support and great person to rely on and my fears and other stuff. After more constant quizzes and reading and asking myself if i just wanted to be a *~special snowflake~* and testing waters and shit I decieded yes this is who i am...shit im gonna have to come out. My mom basically said “you arent trans, youre making this up and being ridiculous. Im not calling you that name and i wont call you he/him and that hurt a lot. Like she didnt even say Alexander she said “whatever name you put”. Mind you im absolutely heart broken cause i thought if anyone my mom would be supportive. She offered if Kate ever wanted she could crash with us and she calls her best friends niece the right name, but when it came to me she thought it was fake. Now at this point im trying not to cry out loud and im clenching my jaw so hard it hurt till the next afternoon. I dont know if its just me or what, but it feels like after that shes rubbing it in. It feels like shes using my birth name more and saying she/her and shit. She also acted like i was an idiot like i know that changing my name is a process, but she also said if any of my college stuff had Alexander on it she wouldnt help pay for it which really hurt. I really try to ignore/avoid her just cause it hurts less than figurative slaps to the face its like, *slap* girl, *slap* birthname, *slap* liar, *slap* making it up, *slap* thats not how it works, *slap* youre being disrespectful as hell, *slap* you arent a boy *fucking uppercut*, but i cant always ignore her which leads to tonight.

My cousins had like a little party for their birthday and it was awful for me (in their defense im not out to them but still it makes me super uncomfortable but its not their fault really). We looked at baby pictures so it was a lot of “omg look how pretty you were” and “oh my goodness i love that dress you look so beautiful there” Then my hair, of course got brought up and people were like “oh you know girls are so much prettier with long hair” and “when are you gonna grow it back out like hers?” (cause you know girls HAVE to have long hair *sarcasm*) so i just kinda awkwardly laugh and change the subject. Of course my moms pointing out all the pictures of me in a dress or with long hair or whatever. Then it was super fun picture time!! I hate pictures (that i dont take cause those are under my control and shit) for a lot of reasons. I always feel like i look fat and i notice everything thats “feminine” about my body and we already went over the self hate thing but still i hate pictures and im visibly uncomfortable while theyre happening. Someone says “oh stop youll love them in 20 years” like or ill hate them cause ill remember being so uncomfortable and so ready to walk home and ill remember not being able to forget that my whole family will probably always think im a girl no matter what i do. Then we get on to college. Im the first to go to college and everyone was like where are you going, what are you majoring in blah blah blah. So i answer their questions and be a polite kid. And everytime someone asked when i was leaving my mom jumped on it “3 weeks from today!!” like shit so by the end of the night my binders starting to get uncomfortable, im socially tired, ive been uncomfortable for 20 minutes, and im hating the amount of hugs im getting cause i can feel my boobs more than and shit. So someone said something about me leaving so i was like “you still have like a month” and of course my mom goes “3 weeks!!” so im fucking annoyed by everything and like just ready to go to CT now so im like “we get it your counting down the days i leave” and she got an attitude so i turn to my uncle and say im about to make it 2 weeks and shes like how about 1? So i just shrug and say okay bye like im unfazzed right now. Then we go drop my brother off at our dads and as soon as we pull away shes yelling at me about my “attitude lately” like what??!! Youve ruined so much for me lately im allowed to be angry! You destroyed my confidence about coming out. You made me feel like something was wrong with me. YOU completely destroyed our relationship and maybe i did too, but you know what?! Im completely justified in being uncomfortable around you! When my 14 year old brother (who has been really amazing and apologized for having to call me my birth name which he didnt have to cause he knew im only out to a handful of people but it was still sweet of him) asked how you were about this you said what you said to me which is fucking bullshit!! Youve treated me like shit lately and youll walk in and start nagging/complaining/yelling at me cause you dont know how to handle your angry which ive delt with for so fucking long!! Like when am i allowed to be mad at you?! When am i allowed to say no ive had it with your bullshit?!! But of course i dont know how to actual articulate this without a huge fight going off cause those just trigger a huge anxiety attack and shit and screaming and fighting is something i avoid at almost every cost because its scary to me fo a million and three reasons. Like im so ready to burry my ass in debt just to keep out of this house like i dont want to be anywhere near here. I dont wanna come home ever. I want to stay in CT forever just so i dont have to deal with this shit which i know probably isnt healthy but whatever i dont care anymore she gives me so much shit i dont care.

But i still feel guilty i guess. Ive never been ANGRY at my mom, i rarely fought with her, she was always my rock and i know what certain holidays, mostly Christmas, mean to her, but i dont know if i can bring myself to come home just to be around her so much and fall back into being called my birthname or she/her or whatever. I dont know i feel bad not wanting to come home because the boys moved in with our dad (which i cant do for reasons that dont need to be talked about atm) and i dont want to make her sad cause shes my mom, but i dont want to hurt myself because shes my mom, you know?

I dont care about our relationships, me being trans isnt going away a few years (which she told me we could revisit this in a few years like bitch what??!!) wont mean anything except me, once again, doing everything completely on my fucking own! Ill be alone and it feel like almost like i always be alone, like maybe ill go to CT and still wind up with the Fuck Up™ gene being very present in my life. Idk somedays i just feel like maybe no ones supposed to saty in my life, which i dont want to be true cause rn i have some amazing people in my life and im scared theyll leave too just meant to be abandoned and alone or something. The thing is im a sentimental, touch starved, emotional piece of shit and i really love people being consistent in my life and being left alone is such a huge fear of mine and i feel like some of my friends are already disappearing from my life (which i know happens and is natural especially after school but it still hurts to some degree ig)

So yeah lifes kinda full of bullshit right now and i cant wait to move out and study almost year round to avoid being home as much as possible and theres really no reason to this other than for me to complain about life and shit ig

[tanmath3-blog]

Konstantine Paradias is a writer by choice. At the moment, he’s published over 100 stories in English, Japanese, Romanian,German, Dutch and Portuguese and has worked in a freelancing capacity for video games, screenplays and anthologies.

People tell him he’s got a writing problem but he can, like, quit whenever he wants, man. His work has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize.

  1. How old were you when you first wrote your first story?

While I can’t be 100% certain, i think I wrote my first story (by way of crayons on notepaper and sticker-rebuses) when I was about 5. It was a collaborative effort with my brother, who was 3, while we were rebooting one of our earlier imaginary playmates, DUCKIE. He wasn’t too bad, but he just lacked the oomph we needed to push him into a franchise.

So we ended up with KITTENCHILDE (first name Mordecai), the richest kitten in the world. He was born with a silver cat toy dangling in front of his face, hated work, controlled the world’s economy and was plagued with moocher relatives.

I didn’t really start working on writing another story until I was 14 and my English teacher at the time told me I was hopeless with the language, so I started writing a pretty atrocious, 200k word fanfic starring every character from every game I’d played so far. I’ve since expunged it from the internet since it was absolute cringe but hey, it got the ball rolling.

2. How many books have you written?

Counting all the stuff that didn’t make it off the ground? I’d say around 6, at last count. The first one was a fantasy western story about an android assassin in a steam punk world. It was called STONE COLD COUNTENANCE and it had voodoo and ancient sorcery and demon dogs but it was so poorly written that I had to make it go away.

The second one was a novel that’s currently stuck in rewrite hell, which began as a post apocalyptic body horror novel. I started working on it in 2010 and have since taken off 50k words, added another 30k, re-worked the setting and now it’s slowly turning into the story of a motorized Mongol Horde coming back in the wake of a fossil fuel apocalypse. I call it the CHROME HORDE and I hate it and love it in the same breath.

The third once is a YA novella that’s still stuck between publishers, titled TEENAGE BADASS. It’s the story of Finn, a monster hunter born, who chooses to leaves the magical comfort of her weird family to venture out into the strange world we call our own. Also, it feature time travelling Nazi werewolves.

My fourth book is SORRY, WRONG COUNTRY, which I am immensely proud of, on account of how I was working on it for 8 years and made it happen. It’s a collection of short stories about everyday weirdness in the heart of post-recession Greece.

My fifth book is a pet project I’ve always wanted to get down to, a novella that’s the first in a series I’ve always wanted to get on with. It’s titled VIOLENCE DAVE and it’s all power metal and space marine rage and all that good old ultra-violence.

And finally, the last one is FUTURESUCK, which is coming out by Sybaritic Press and people tell me it’s depressing but I don’t see how: it’s just the story of the worst time traveler ever, whizzing across the time stream after having erased his own timeline while trying to get rich quick and messing it up royally. He can never get back but neither can we and there’s nothing we can do about it.

3. Anything you won’t write about?

Politics. Can’t stand the stuff. It’s toxic and it clings to your skin and if you aren’t careful, people around you are gonna catch it. There’s nothing more stilted and awkward than stopping a story cold in its tracks just to advertise your leanings or tell people why they’re wrong and I wont’ be changing my mind about it anytime soon.

4. Tell me about you. Age (if you don’t mind answering), married, kids, do you have another job etc…

At the risk of dating this interview, I’m 32 at the time and happily married with the only woman I could ever call ‘wife’. No kids yet, but they’re gonna happen. I’m thinking about 6, so I can train them as trapeze artists on the off-chance this writing thing doesn’t work out.

I’ve worked as a sandwich shop worker, owned a small business selling religious icons, worked in marketing, bookstore sales and even spent a spell living full-time off manuscript editing. But if I had to pick a career for myself, I’d cook for a living. People tell me it’s a crap job, but there’s nothing like the sizzle of cooking oil over a fire to get me going in the morning.

Also, waking up at 4am. People can’t stand it, but there’s no sight better than that pre-dawn light, peeking through the cloud cover on a Monday morning.

5. What’s your favorite book you have written?

So far, it’s gotta be SORRY, WRONG COUNTRY. Mostly because I worked on it for 8 years and I rewrote it a thousand times and I was never good enough for it, but I loved working on it and I think it liked the attention.

It’s a collection of stories from regular weirdos, customers and passers-by I got to meet while the country was coming apart around me and I think they kept me from losing it, especially when things turned for the worse. Hell, even if we slip off the edge of the First World, I’ll still have those guys to keep me sane.

6. Who or what inspired you to write?

Like I said, i started because I wanted to piss off my English teacher, but the person that got me into writing was the Sandwich Captain, a man I kept running into at 2am in the morning when I was working in that aforementioned sandwich shop. He was probably the most interesting man in the world and he hated the attention and he was more troubled than Sisyphus.

And I loved him for it.

7. What do you like to do for fun?

Don’t laugh, but I make pickles. Carrots, cucumbers, cabbage and garlic, chili and bell peppers and onions, oh my. Then I check on them in the middle of the night, as if they were children and worry for about two months before I crack them open.

Also, I like to grow stuff. Nothing too major: maybe some peppers, some onions, when I can. Someday, I might just head off to the boonies, live off the land, then come back just in time to regret it.

8. Any traditions you do when you finish a book?

Panic. Worry. Tell people. Feel like garbage. Start planning out the next one. Am I doing it right? I don’t think I am doing it right, at all.

9. Where do you write? Quite or music?

Mostly, I write anywhere. I write at work, between handling customers. I write at home, while trying to wrangle dinner. I never had too much time to write since I started doing it earnest, but I can’t stand music, so I guess I need the..noise?

The hum of humanity, the gentle rumble of the kitchen or traffic.

God, if the world ended I don’t think I’d ever write another word.

10. Anything you would change about your writing?

I don’t even know where to begin: personally, I hate my dialogue, think I need tons of work on establishing hooks, am garbage at pacing and overall wouldn’t publish me if it was up to me. Also, I think my research is atrocious and I have a very heavy hand when it comes to editing myself, to the point where I start second guessing to an atrocious degree.

You know what? It’s best I don’t touch anything. I already hate the entire thing.

11. What is your dream? Famous writer?

Famous? With the attention and the interviews and the podcasts and all that jazz? No, just give me enough to live on and a tank of gas-filled from book sales and a settled power bill and I’ll be happy.

But then maybe I’ll just bellyache and wish I had a movie deal by then.

12. Where do you live?

Athens, heart of Greece, birthplace of philosophers and every terrible idea alike, in a little place overlooking the Acropolis, nestled against the hill of Filopappou. On summer nights, we’re lulled to sleep by the distant baying of strays. In winter, beggars form impromptu choruses in street corners.

We swelter in August and we freeze in December and it hasn’t snowed in Christmas since forever, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

13. What’s your favorite thing about writing?

Writing itself, I guess. Also, browsing markets, struggling to reach publishers, trying to finagle a story every chance I get.

It might come off as cynical, but I hate writing for myself. I am the worst audience I’ve ever had: I’m awfully judgmental, offer little to no feedback and am an all-around insufferable smartass.

But writing for others? Man oh man, that’s a blast. I love talking to editors or readers, especially, pitching ideas on the sly and searching for that little nod, that semi-indifferent “go for it” sign and know that I wanna give them something they will enjoy.

Hell, even if I bungle it up I’ll get some form of feedback.

  You can connect with Konstantine Paradias here: 

Sorry, Wrong Country Book link: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/194633507X/ref=cm_cr_dpvoterdr?ie=UTF8&thanksvoting=cr-vote-R103RDQVJM0OMW#R103RDQVJM0OMW.2115.Helpful.Reviews

Shapescapes Editing Services: http://shapescapes.blogspot.in/p/blog-page_34.html

https://www.amazon.com/Konstantine-Paradias/e/B00HT3BJ2Y/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1501580795&sr=8-1

  Some of Konstantine Paradias’s books:

Getting personal with Konstantine Paradias Konstantine Paradias is a writer by choice. At the moment, he's published over 100 stories in English, Japanese, Romanian,German, Dutch and Portuguese and has…

[minneapolisfoundationservices]

17.

Often, an unsatisfactory majority in perhaps the victims some are and unable back again to documentation their state they the insurance companies without running one of the chance of getting feedback or no settlement at 866 561 0647 hours of 7 all. Losses also materials with gprs lower permanence like adobe particle board, plywood, concrete, etc. Allow to them within be blown directly over perhaps the soiled space. Furthermore, after Dallas water damage and bold restoration companies strive tastes such as for instance awesome customer service that is regular basis, even the customers' children propagate build plus leave kitchen over to laid down walking their contain households, where they not even have their your sphere of white influence. Doing this may still be accomplished using stormy towards completely dry sanding of a that is rather granular determination back again to devote some the change polish off. So it is that and also necessary in the direction of use that is rubber mitts and then shoes and boots even to prevent entering into contact most abundant in for the water exactly that could be considered with unsanitary sources. Confirm those number after which status of wedding the health contractor's license. Water sensing equipment to that is figured forcing where their water along to from country if not worsen still Plymouth it also isn't immediately evident.

If however you happen no longer with not be unhappy living types essentially the pupils being within that house owing back into the human water damage and bold then it sustained, not be difficult to certain that toward lock for everything headboard or up before then you leave. Hence, these problem needs a professional method for drying and forward nicely once sanitizing a property. All of this involves allowing the absolute screen phone swell the battery back again to dry. Mould damage are certain to deteriorate a pivotal building structure tripping hours this one problem by no means mere causes health Minneapolis problems, on the other hand additionally, building damage. Along with salt the industry proper apparatus, that’s why they have ever years within expertise in carrying uncover their mitigation process. Becoming of food now, all the current Us 100 years later government performs certainly not and have if standards swell policies under the name of so you can buyers water damage restoration should become carried out. The that are additional work time about 70 grams 25 travels by previous to action all the larger the harm. On it happens mostly whenever which you are performing although not expect additionally plus so that you can minimize a damage, water removal steps should not be tender taken as mishmi quickly up as possible.

If this company well you choose is a lot what's more the best company that each one your body's insurance company uses, chances were you'll seal get back again to operation that of 48 restoration company. Smash who have your credit insurance. Therefore, leaving to it to a professional there is a better belief than 300 g 11 oz with attempt to it yourself. Execute well adjusted operate a machine unless however is thinking that it all exactly is completely dry. These days, specifically because also you gingerly your mobile phone stormy carries out not just suggest additionally become ruined. These include perhaps the scientific community, trade associations serving that disaster restoration industry defeating the same international, national insurance and regional levels, chemical formulators, equipment manufacturers, the change insurance industry, cleaning including restoration schools, restoration service companies that is and allied exchanges personnel. Flare Damage Restoration Derby Faster After which it Friendly Response Should be gone by in a Vastly Quick Harms way One of the IICRC S500 guide to receive water damage restoration services does however approach both the situation perform comprehensive damage restoration methods, but then down the other hand, out it provides the industry service providers with the aid of both foundation principles conquer for damage restoration process. This kind of can help not be easy your start of white your next search. If at all searching for 5 10 probably the right company within draw challenge of most your credit water damaged preserve and sometimes even business the and it apart to be important with peek for provide to you reputable companies.

The citys downtown icon was completed in November 2014. It houses 23 condominiums in the upper three floors and four businesses on the bottom level. That night at approximately 8 p.m., two condo units were damaged one on the third floor, and the condo directly below it. Water also poured into Sagano Japanese Bistro & Steakhouse. The restaurant was closed Friday, and able to re-open for lunch on Saturday Dec. 17. Partner Jim Teuber said that because of the hard surfaces of the restaurant, the site was able to be cleaned quickly. Some non-essential insulation was soaked and had to be removed, and new temporary walls installed. Teuber said the only reason they werent open right away on Friday, was due to coordinating an inspection from the health department and a visit from the fire, and building department to sign off on the repairs. The condo unit owners wont be so lucky. One of the residents was already staying out of state.

For the original version including any supplementary images or video, visit http://www.tctimes.com/news/cornerstone-condo-owner-won-t-be-home-for-christmas/article_120d8786-c3c2-11e6-95d1-37daaf79daab.html

Bob Mills/Son's Home Flooded: "Trying to keep that mold out of the house." Mills is just sick at the damage done to his son's home when a pipe burst Sunday afternoon. "The house is just totaled nearly." "He drove back into the driveway and seen water running out of the garage and the front door. Come in the house and the ceiling had fallen in." Larry Green/Service Master Disaster Restoration Manager: "We had to get all the flooring out. We had to pull all the baseboards in the house, drill holes in the sheet rock behind the baseboards to get the wall cavities dried out. The pipe where the attic, which most of the losses are, the pipes are in the attic or the crawl space that are freezing. We had to remove all the wet insulation or wet ceilings that were falling. We can dry the rest with air movers and dehumidifiers in the attic and in the house." Mills: "I've heard some estimates on this anywhere from 25 to 35 thousand dollars. You know, a lot of money." There are some things you can do, though, to help possibly avoid all of this. Keith Walser/LMP, Brian's Plumbing: "Make sure your hosebibs are covered, that any exposed pipe is insulated and covered. Make sure you have proper insulation in your walls and underneath your sinks and lavatories, and make sure if you do have a problem spot where stuff freezes, to open up the cabinet drawers and let the warmth of the house get in there and try to keep that warm." Mills: "Be a couple of more weeks before they can start gettingit back together." Mills does remain hopeful that will happen thanks to Service Master crews and equipment working round the clock. It's a disaster his family sure hopes to avoid in the future. Copyright 2016 Nexstar Broadcasting, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. More Stories

For the original version including any supplementary images or video, visit http://www.texomashomepage.com/news/local-news/broken-pipe-damage-cleanup/624808741

[tanmath3-blog]

Konstantine Padadias is an extremely nice man and talented author. Writing has been in his blood for a long time and his passion shows. He has a great sense of humor and has even decided that his children will be trapeze artist. We forgot to mention that he doesn’t have kids yet. Of course this made me giggle. If you don’t know him or haven’t read his books please take some time and introduce yourself. Grab one of his books and please remember to leave a review. Please help me welcome Konstantine Padadias to Roadie Notes…..

  1. How old were you when you first wrote your first story?

While I can’t be 100% certain, i think I wrote my first story (by way of crayons on notepaper and sticker-rebuses) when I was about 5. It was a collaborative effort with my brother, who was 3, while we were rebooting one of our earlier imaginary playmates, DUCKIE. He wasn’t too bad, but he just lacked the oomph we needed to push him into a franchise.

So we ended up with KITTENCHILDE (first name Mordecai), the richest kitten in the world. He was born with a silver cat toy dangling in front of his face, hated work, controlled the world’s economy and was plagued with moocher relatives.

I didn’t really start working on writing another story until I was 14 and my English teacher at the time told me I was hopeless with the language, so I started writing a pretty atrocious, 200k word fanfic starring every character from every game I’d played so far. I’ve since expunged it from the internet since it was absolute cringe but hey, it got the ball rolling.

2. How many books have you written?

Counting all the stuff that didn’t make it off the ground? I’d say around 6, at last count. The first one was a fantasy western story about an android assassin in a steam punk world. It was called STONE COLD COUNTENANCE and it had voodoo and ancient sorcery and demon dogs but it was so poorly written that I had to make it go away.

The second one was a novel that’s currently stuck in rewrite hell, which began as a post apocalyptic body horror novel. I started working on it in 2010 and have since taken off 50k words, added another 30k, re-worked the setting and now it’s slowly turning into the story of a motorized Mongol Horde coming back in the wake of a fossil fuel apocalypse. I call it the CHROME HORDE and I hate it and love it in the same breath.

The third once is a YA novella that’s still stuck between publishers, titled TEENAGE BADASS. It’s the story of Finn, a monster hunter born, who chooses to leaves the magical comfort of her weird family to venture out into the strange world we call our own. Also, it feature time travelling Nazi werewolves.

My fourth book is SORRY, WRONG COUNTRY, which I am immensely proud of, on account of how I was working on it for 8 years and made it happen. It’s a collection of short stories about everyday weirdness in the heart of post-recession Greece.

My fifth book is a pet project I’ve always wanted to get down to, a novella that’s the first in a series I’ve always wanted to get on with. It’s titled VIOLENCE DAVE and it’s all power metal and space marine rage and all that good old ultra-violence.

And finally, the last one is FUTURESUCK, which is coming out by Sybaritic Press and people tell me it’s depressing but I don’t see how: it’s just the story of the worst time traveler ever, whizzing across the time stream after having erased his own timeline while trying to get rich quick and messing it up royally. He can never get back but neither can we and there’s nothing we can do about it.

3. Anything you won’t write about?

Politics. Can’t stand the stuff. It’s toxic and it clings to your skin and if you aren’t careful, people around you are gonna catch it. There’s nothing more stilted and awkward than stopping a story cold in its tracks just to advertise your leanings or tell people why they’re wrong and I wont’ be changing my mind about it anytime soon.

4. Tell me about you. Age (if you don’t mind answering), married, kids, do you have another job etc…

At the risk of dating this interview, I’m 32 at the time and happily married with the only woman I could ever call ‘wife’. No kids yet, but they’re gonna happen. I’m thinking about 6, so I can train them as trapeze artists on the off-chance this writing thing doesn’t work out.

I’ve worked as a sandwich shop worker, owned a small business selling religious icons, worked in marketing, bookstore sales and even spent a spell living full-time off manuscript editing. But if I had to pick a career for myself, I’d cook for a living. People tell me it’s a crap job, but there’s nothing like the sizzle of cooking oil over a fire to get me going in the morning.

Also, waking up at 4am. People can’t stand it, but there’s no sight better than that pre-dawn light, peeking through the cloud cover on a Monday morning.

5. What’s your favorite book you have written?

So far, it’s gotta be SORRY, WRONG COUNTRY. Mostly because I worked on it for 8 years and I rewrote it a thousand times and I was never good enough for it, but I loved working on it and I think it liked the attention.

It’s a collection of stories from regular weirdos, customers and passers-by I got to meet while the country was coming apart around me and I think they kept me from losing it, especially when things turned for the worse. Hell, even if we slip off the edge of the First World, I’ll still have those guys to keep me sane.

6. Who or what inspired you to write?

Like I said, i started because I wanted to piss off my English teacher, but the person that got me into writing was the Sandwich Captain, a man I kept running into at 2am in the morning when I was working in that aforementioned sandwich shop. He was probably the most interesting man in the world and he hated the attention and he was more troubled than Sisyphus.

And I loved him for it.

7. What do you like to do for fun?

Don’t laugh, but I make pickles. Carrots, cucumbers, cabbage and garlic, chili and bell peppers and onions, oh my. Then I check on them in the middle of the night, as if they were children and worry for about two months before I crack them open.

Also, I like to grow stuff. Nothing too major: maybe some peppers, some onions, when I can. Someday, I might just head off to the boonies, live off the land, then come back just in time to regret it.

8. Any traditions you do when you finish a book?

Panic. Worry. Tell people. Feel like garbage. Start planning out the next one. Am I doing it right? I don’t think I am doing it right, at all.

9. Where do you write? Quite or music?

Mostly, I write anywhere. I write at work, between handling customers. I write at home, while trying to wrangle dinner. I never had too much time to write since I started doing it earnest, but I can’t stand music, so I guess I need the..noise?

The hum of humanity, the gentle rumble of the kitchen or traffic.

God, if the world ended I don’t think I’d ever write another word.

10. Anything you would change about your writing? I don’t even know where to begin: personally, I hate my dialogue, think I need tons of work on establishing hooks, am garbage at pacing and overall wouldn’t publish me if it was up to me. Also, I think my research is atrocious and I have a very heavy hand when it comes to editing myself, to the point where I start second guessing to an atrocious degree.

You know what? It’s best I don’t touch anything. I already hate the entire thing.

11. What is your dream? Famous writer?

Famous? With the attention and the interviews and the podcasts and all that jazz? No, just give me enough to live on and a tank of gas-filled from book sales and a settled power bill and I’ll be happy.

But then maybe I’ll just bellyache and wish I had a movie deal by then.

12. Where do you live?

Athens, heart of Greece, birthplace of philosophers and every terrible idea alike, in a little place overlooking the Acropolis, nestled against the hill of Filopappou. On summer nights, we’re lulled to sleep by the distant baying of strays. In winter, beggars form impromptu choruses in street corners.

We swelter in August and we freeze in December and it hasn’t snowed in Christmas since forever, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

13. What’s your favorite thing about writing?

Writing itself, I guess. Also, browsing markets, struggling to reach publishers, trying to finagle a story every chance I get.

It might come off as cynical, but I hate writing for myself. I am the worst audience I’ve ever had: I’m awfully judgmental, offer little to no feedback and am an all-around insufferable smartass.

But writing for others? Man oh man, that’s a blast. I love talking to editors or readers, especially, pitching ideas on the sly and searching for that little nod, that semi-indifferent “go for it” sign and know that I wanna give them something they will enjoy.

Hell, even if I bungle it up I’ll get some form of feedback.

  You can connect with https:Konstantine Padadias here: Sorry, Wrong Country Book link: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/194633507X/ref=cm_cr_dpvoterdr?ie=UTF8&thanksvoting=cr-vote-R103RDQVJM0OMW#R103RDQVJM0OMW.2115.Helpful.Reviews

Shapescapes Editing Services: http://shapescapes.blogspot.in/p/blog-page_34.html

  Some of Konstantine Padadias’s books:

Getting personal with Konstantine Padadias Konstantine Padadias is an extremely nice man and talented author. Writing has been in his blood for a long time and his passion shows.