#and that same guy just said happy birthday whenever he passed by my seat

[tinyevelyn]

I'M BACK FROM MY TRIP!!!

My trip was REALLY REALLY FUN!! I went to Australia, spent 6 nights at Gold Coast, 2 nights at Lamington and 2 nights in Brisbane, it was such a wonderful trip and i was really cold, with it being winter in Australia. and the beaches, gosh, they were FREEZING!! anyways i had a really good time there and now I'm so glad to be back, gonna check out some mutuals new art, see what's been happening and I'll try to get back to doodling and drawing as soon as I can!!

[avonne-writes]

https://www.tumblr.com/avonne-writes/744097471832129536/once-just-once-buck-agrees-to-drink-alcohol-and

I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT HOW BUCKY WOULD REACT TO THIS?

It took all of Bucky's charms to convince Gale to drink with them on Bucky’s 25th birthday. He begged and pleaded and cajoled him with his best puppy dog eyes until that half-suppressed smile appeared on Gale's face, and he said. "Suppose I can stomach one glass."

So, they went to the nearest bar in town with all the other cadets who had a weekend pass. Bucky got them both a stiff drink, and they clinked glasses before throwing them back, to the cheers of Bucky's friends. Well, Bucky threw it back. Gale gave it a long look, then took about half a sip.

Bucky could see him shudder, his plump lips purse. He leaned back against the bar, his elbows on the counter, and snorted a laugh. "I can take it off your hands if you don’t like it."

Gale just gave him a glance from the corner of his eye, then poured the whole thing down his throat. A muscle tightened in his jaw as he put his glass down, probably fighting nausea. He turned and put his palms flat on the bar as if to steady himself as the burning liquid settled in his stomach.

Bucky nodded at him, trying and failing to hold back a grin. "Look at you."

It was hard to tell in the bar's warm light, but Gale's cheeks seemed pink already. He blinked at his empty glass, then looked at Bucky and smiled as though he thought something was very funny. "Happy birthday."

Bucky's grin widened. He squeezed Gale's shoulder, then turned to gesture for the barkeep. "Another one for me and a ginger beer for my friend."

-

Bucky was on his third drink and just about starting to feel the buzz of it in his limbs when he noticed Gale watching him. They were seated in a booth by then, trapped in the corner by all the other guys who came to celebrate with them. Their friends were trying to outyell each other as they all fought to tell the same story to a pair of hapless girls they managed to invite to the table. So no one paid any attention when Bucky turned to look at Gale and found him looking back. For a moment, they just stared into each other's eyes, then Gale averted his and smiled. Again, as if the world around him was the most amusing thing ever. He was flushed, his blue eyes shiny.

Bucky's lips curled into a wide grin. "Feeling good?" He asked. When Gale tried to control his smile and failed to wipe it off his face, he laughed. "Got you good, didn't it?"

Gale rubbed at his forehead and leaned against Bucky's side. His gaze lacked its usual sharp gleam and his hand moved in less measured gestures than usual - he was completely buzzed. "I'm fine."

"I can see that." Bucky chuckled. The fact that Gale was a lightweight didn't surprise him at all. Originally, he had thought that maybe he could get a few more drinks in him, but seeing him after only one, he knew that sticking to ginger beer for the rest of the night would probably be for the best. "Do you need some air?"

Gale shook his head. Then, Bucky felt it - under the table, Gale's fingers were hooked into the belt of his uniform. Who knew when they found their way there. They clung to him as he leaned back in his seat, and Gale’s shoulders followed to find his again. A muscle twinged in Bucky's chest. His grin faded into something more muted as he studied Gale's flaming face, the way his smile dug deeper lines into his cheek whenever he glanced in Bucky's direction from the corner of his eyes, the way he bowed his head, and the shadows his eyelashes cast.

He couldn't resist, he bumped his knuckles lightly against Gale's cheek. It felt hot to the touch. The gesture made Gale snicker, then hide his face behind his free hand as he often did when he didn't want to draw attention to his laugh. With butterflies fluttering in his stomach, Bucky slid his arm behind Gale, palm coming to rest warmly on Gale's shoulder. He felt his own face heat up when, instead of staying still as usual, Gale leant his whole weight into the embrace as if he was starving for it. He even tipped his head back to rest it on Bucky’s arm. His hand slipped to Bucky's thigh.

Bucky looked around, but none of their friends seemed to notice. Most of them were also well on their way to drunkenness. Only he was running behind, it seemed. A situation he couldn't say he was familiar with, but given the state Gale was in, he thought that was a lucky thing. He leaned in to whisper into Gale's ear.

"Do you wanna leave?"

Gale closed his eyes, still smiling, then nodded. That was all Bucky needed. With some effort, he managed to extricate them out of the booth, crawling over some of the guys, who shoved at him playfully before getting up to let Gale out too. Gale moved slowly, with the caution of someone who was doing his best not to appear drunk, but if someone knew him well enough, the abundance of joy in his expression was a dead giveaway. Buck Cleven wasn't prone to smiling at nothing or to moving his gaze back and forth between Bucky and the rest of the bar instead of keeping it fixed on one thing. Bucky pretended to be drunker than he was just to have an excuse to throw his arm around Gale. He started singing, and felt Gale's arm squeeze tight around his waist.

"Buck, you gotta do something before we all go deaf!" One of the guys called out to raucous laughter. Gale snickered again, clinging to Bucky a bit harder, then he started pushing Bucky towards the door.

"I'm coming back for that dice game, Bill!" Bucky pointed at them, and they all waved their arms at him to just leave already so that they could continue trying to woo the girls.

He and Gale made it outside in a few minutes.

They stumbled into a dark alley nearby, where Gale tugged at the lapels of Bucky's uniform until Bucky kissed him. His lips parted pliantly for Bucky's tongue, and he tasted so sweet that for a moment, Bucky thought he might get drunk on it too. It was a nice, languid kiss. Bucky could have pushed for more but he forced himself to pull back, because he had a feeling that a back-alley romp wasn't what Gale was actually being so needy for, and he could tell that he was right when the first thing Gale did when they parted was to drop his head to Bucky's shoulder.

When Bucky slid his hands up Gale's arms to his back to hug him, he wrapped his own arms around Bucky's waist. He sighed as the embrace closed around him.

They stayed like that for so long that Bucky thought Gale might have fallen asleep standing. But as he tried to pull away, the arms around him tightened.

Bucky breathed in deep. "You wanna sleep in my room tonight?" And this time, that was all he meant, sleep. He could sneak Gale into his hotel room, and they could cuddle as much as Gale needed.

Gale took a deep breath too and straightened up. He let Bucky go to rub at his own face. "Sorry about that." He cleared his throat. A frown formed between his eyebrows. It seemed that he was sobering up. "No, I'll be all right. You go back. It’s your birthday after all. I think I will - go find a ride back to base."

"I'm not going back without you."

Gale looked at him. Even in the dim light, Bucky could tell that his eyes weren't quite clear yet, but some of the haze was gone. "I need a few more minutes."

Bucky leaned back against the wall and lit a cigarette. With his free hand, he reached out to hold Gale's. He was pleased when Gale didn't pull away. "I can wait."

Gale watched him wordlessly with that tipsy little smile on his face until Bucky finished his cigarette. When the last of it burnt down, Bucky threw the stub away and stepped into Gale's space again. He gave him a chaste kiss.

Gale bumped his forehead to his, then moved away. "I'm not drinking another one."

Bucky laughed and pushed him towards the main street. "Why not?"

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Halloween Birthday Bash

Paranormal Preteens AU: Episode Fifteen

A JSE Fanfic

Eeeee we're getting stakes in the story, guys! And that's all I'll say because I don't want to spoil anything :)c It's Halloween, which means it's Marvin and JJ's birthday. They invite all the others—Chase, Schneep, Jackie, and Stacy—over to their house for a party. And it's not quite what the others expect. Even before things take a sharp turn downhill. And yeah. Happy reading ;)

++++++++++++++++++++

Chase had been to a lot of other kids’ houses before, but they were usually all in the same sort of neighborhood. The suburbs, as Mom told him they were called. Marvin and JJ lived much closer to the center of town, at the end of a street called Riverview Place. The houses here were all tall and narrow, with flat, sloping roofs instead of pointed ones, their walls all connected in rows. It was hard to tell them apart.

“Okay, number 55, here we are,” Mom said, pulling to the side of the road. “Hey, isn’t that Jackie’s car?”

“Mm-hmm.” Chase nodded. “They invited him, too. And Stacy.”

“Ah, right.” Mom smiled. “I’m so glad you guys have met someone new. It’s good to have a girl’s perspective sometimes.”

“It is? On what?” Chase asked, genuinely confused.

“You’ll see.”

Chase turned around to look at Schneep in the backseat, silently asking if he knew what Mom was talking about. But Schneep wasn’t really paying attention. He had his face pressed up to the car window, staring out at the house. “Will there be enough room for all of us inside?” he asked. “It is a... skinny house.”

“This design of house is called a townhouse,” Mom explained. “And I think you’ll be fine.” She parked the car and looked at the boys. “Alright. I’ll pick you up at five, but if you want to leave early, just call me. We can go trick-or-treating afterwards. I managed to convince some of our neighbors to try it out for Henrik’s first real Halloween.”

Schneep smiled wide, excited; Chase had been hyping up Halloween all month. “That is great! So we go back home and put on the costumes?”

“You got it!” Mom said. “Now, do you want me to walk you two up to the door? I’d like to have a brief chat with Marvin and Jameson’s parents.”

“Sure, Mom.” Chase opened the car door. “C’mon, Sch—Henrik!”

“Yes, yes! Ah, will you help with the gifts?”

“Yeah, of course!”

The two of them got the presents from the back seat and practically ran up to the front door, Mom trailing behind them. Chase had been so curious about Marvin and JJ’s house after Marvin had asked the whole friend group to come over for their birthday. And now, seeing how different it was, he was even more curious. It did throw him off a bit. But that happened whenever you visited someone else’s house. Knowing the place where they lived was weird, though not in a bad way. Just in a different way.

Chase rang the doorbell. A few seconds later, it was answered by an old woman, her gray hair cut into a bob. She looked at the boys, blinked, then smiled. “Ah, more of JJ and Marvin’s friends, are ye?” she asked. “And their mam, by t’look of it. Good to meet you.”

“Hi.” Chase waved. “I’m Chase. This is my cousin, Henrik.”

“Ah, of course ye are. They’ve been talkin’ up a storm about when you’d get here.” The woman chuckled. “I’m the boys’ grandmother, I’m in town for the next couple o’months. My name’s Saoirse, but you can call me Granmam Molloy, if you want. Come in, come in. You too, young lady.”

Mom smiled, clearly flattered by being called ‘young lady.’ “Thank you. Are Emma and Robert here or is it just you?”

“They’re here, in the kitchen actin’ the maggot. Go on in t’ere if you want t’talk to them.”

Chase and Schneep walked into the house, finding themselves in a small entrance hall with white and blue wallpaper. A narrow hallway extended forward, made even narrower by the upwards staircase taking up half the space. Chase leaned back against the bannister to let Mom and Granmam pass by.

“What a strange staircase,” Schneep muttered. “Why does the handle curve at the end like that?”

“Huh?” Chase turned back around to look at the bannister he was leaning on. “Oh yeah. That’s weird, I’ve never seen a staircase, uhhhh, bannister do that. It’s blocking off, like, a third of the stairs. Do you have to scootch around it to go up and down?”

“You’re here!”

The two of them turned back around and saw Marvin running down the hallway towards them, skidding to a halt only a foot away. “I thought you weren’t coming!” he said. “I mean, of course you were coming, it sounds dumb when I say it like that, but you’re the last ones here so I was getting worried. You were looking at the stairs of doom, right? I mean, the staircase? Upstairs is just the bedrooms and the bathroom, yeah the only bathroom is on the second floor, it’s weird. Everyone else is in the living room, though! Well, Mam and Dad are in the kitchen, that’s through this doorway here, but what I’m saying is we’re all hanging out down here.”

Chase laughed. He hadn’t realized how much he missed Marvin talking so fast until these past few weeks of unusual silence from him. “Yeah, bro, of course we were coming! I think Mom got lost driving for a while.”

“Dad always says it’s easy to miss the turn onto the street.” Marvin nodded seriously. Then he gasped. “You brought presents!”

“They are from both of us,” Schneep said, lifting up the wrapped box he was holding. Chase had the other one pressed to his chest. “We would have gotten you both one from each of us, but Aunt Jess said this would be fine.”

“It totally is, don’t fucking worry about it!” Marvin turned around. “Well, c’mon!” He headed back down the hallway. Chase and Schneep quickly followed.

Chase’s first impression of the living room was that it was... weirdly nice. He wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was because the place was so clean and tidy. Apart from the presents stacked on the coffee table, there wasn’t a mess anywhere. The L-shaped sofa and single armchair looked basically new, without a lot of the wear that furniture gets when it’s used for a couple years. A boxy television sat on top of a cabinet with closed doors that probably held all the movies and such. The walls were covered in more wallpaper, this time white-and-green striped. One wall had a bunch of framed photographs hanging on it in neat rows.

JJ, Jackie, and Stacy were all in here. Stacy was sitting in the armchair, looking a bit awkward perched on the edge, while Jackie and JJ were sitting on the sofa, where Jackie seemed to be showing JJ his camera. He looked up as Marvin, Chase, and Schneep walked in. “Hey, it’s the rest of the guys!” He smiled. “Glad you could make it.”

“Yeah, great to be here!” Chase said, smiling back. He walked around the sofa and put the present down with the others already there. “Whoa, you have a lot of presents. Nice.”

They’re mostly clothes, JJ said.

“How do you know that?”

JJ shrugged. Mam and Dad always use the same type of boxes for clothes. Look at all the flat rectangles.

Schneep also put his present down and looked around the room. “You have a nice house.”

“It’s a bit cramped with you all in here, so that sucks, but yeah, it’s alright,” Marvin said.

“Hi Chase, hi Schneep.” Stacy gave a little wave.

“Hi Stacy.” Chase waved back. “So your parents let you come?”

“Yeah. It’s, uh...” She glanced around. “...really different from girl birthday parties. You guys don’t have any decorations? Or cake?”

“We have cake,” Marvin said defensively. “It’s in the kitchen with Mam and Dad. And we’ve never really had people over for birthdays, so like, there’s never really been a need to decorate stuff, you know?”

“My parents still get balloons even when I’m not having friends over,” Stacy said.

Marvin blinked, looking surprised. “Really?”

I’d like balloons, JJ said. It’s a bit too late now, but maybe next year.

A moment passed in silence. “Well, uh, now that everyone’s here we can get the party started!” Jackie said cheerfully. “What do you guys want to do? JJ, Marvin? It’s your party. You want to open presents first?”

“Oh! We can play video games!” Marvin said, walking over to the TV. He slid open a door in the cabinet, revealing, as Chase suspected, a row of DVD and game cases. “We just have a Wii, nothing exciting like at Chase’s house, and we only have four remotes but we can take turns! We have a lot of ‘party games.’”

“Cool, I’ve never used a Wii before.” Chase jumped over the back of the sofa and landed in the corner of the L shape.

JJ flinched. Don’t do that when Dad can see, he’s really particular about the furniture.

“Really? Oh. Sorry.” Chase shifted in his seat. “I was excited. Excited to play games with you guys on your birthday! Happy birthday, by the way! And happy Halloween!” He looked to the side. “Schneep, wish them happy birthday!”

Schneep was still standing, looking at the wall of photographs. His eyes were narrowed as he examined them all. “Was?” He turned back around. “Oh, yes. Happy birthday Marvin! Happy birthday JJ!”

At that moment, Mom peered into the room from the hallway, with Granmam behind her. “Chase? Henrik? I’m heading out now,” she said. “Have fun!”

“Alright, Mom!” Chase said.

“Goodbye, Aunt Jess.” Schneep waved.

“Goodbye.” Mom waved back. “I’ll be back at five.” And with that, she turned and left.

Granmam took her place staring into the room. “Ah, a full house, I see.” She chuckled. “Do you boys want me t’leave you to it?”

“Uhhh, yeah, I think so?” Marvin glanced at JJ, who nodded. “Yeah. Thanks, Granmam!”

“Not a problem, lad. I’ll be in the dinin’ room wit’ your parents if you need me.” And she disappeared.

Marvin beamed. “Alright! Thanks again!” He then turned back to the TV cabinet. “Okay, what do you guys want to do?”

They ended up playing party games for a while, with everyone taking turns. Chase found the Wii remotes strange, but apparently Schneep and Stacy really clicked with the different controllers because they ended up playing more than Jackie and Chase did.

“Ach! Nicht fair!” Schneep shouted. “This game is—is broken! Why do you get all the high dice rolls?!”

“There’s a trick to it, I swear,” Stacy says. “It’s something about the timing.”

“Timing? Time to get your face out of my face.” Schneep grumbled, leaning back against the sofa and stretching his legs across the floor. He held up the remote for Chase to take. “Here. You do this part.”

“Oh I’m so glad you gave me the controller for the worst minigame,” Chase muttered, taking it anyway.

“I like this minigame,” Marvin said.

“It’s all luck!”

“Yeah, that’s why I like it. It evens the playing field.”

“The game has already—already—ah!” Schneep snapped his fingers a couple times, looking for the word. “Already leveled the playing field! With bombs!”

Jackie chuckled. “It’s demolished the playing field.” He settled back into the sofa cushions.

“If I knew you guys had a game system I would’ve got you guys a game for it,” Stacy muttered.

I’m sure whatever you got was great, JJ assured her.

Stacy sighed. “I should’ve actually asked you guys what you wanted.”

JJ shrugged. I’m never sure what I want for presents, only what I don’t want. Like clothes.

“I’ve wanted the same thing for ages,” Marvin said. “I want a pet.”

“A pet?” Chase asked, glancing away from the screen.

“Yeah! I know we don’t have room for a dog because they need a lot of space, but we could have a cat! I’ve asked every birthday and Christmas for a cat, but I’d be fine with anything. Like, we could have a hamster in our room. Or even a fucking fish. I really want a tiny, cute-ass animal in our house. I’ll take care of it and everything, I’ve read so much about cat care—well, and a bit about taking care of other pets. Like I said, I’d take anything.” Marvin paused. “But I really want a cat.”

“Pets are a lot of responsibility,” Jackie said. “I once pet-sitted for my aunt, it was so much to take care of her dog for just two days.”

“Yeah, I know.” Marvin shrugged. “I’ll take care of it. I’ve checked out a bunch of books from the library—Oh for the love of god!”

Chase laughed. “Do you still like this minigame, bro?”

Marvin threw his hands in the air. “I’m in last fucking place now! Dick!”

Chase just laughed harder. “Here, Schneep, take your controller again.” He held it down for Schneep to grab, but he wasn’t paying attention. “Hey. Schneep.” He followed Schneep’s line of sight. “Why are you staring at the pictures on the wall again?”

Schneep jumped a little. “Sorry.” He took the remote again, then looked at JJ and Marvin. “I-I hope you do not mind.”

“Course not,” Marvin said absentmindedly, paying more attention to the game. JJ just shrugged.

“Can I... ask you something?” Schneep asked. “Why... Are... A lot of the pictures just have one of you in them. That is... Do you two... Does one of you not like taking pictures?”

“Mam and Dad have more pictures,” Marvin said, still not looking away from the TV screen.

JJ sighed. They’re mostly of me, he said, looking up at the ceiling.

“...oh.” Schneep blinked. “That is... strange.”

The schools like to hand out awards for being very good at things, I’ve won a fair amount. Mam and Dad like to take photographs to remember the occasion. JJ jerked his head over to the wall of pictures. You’ll notice a lot of them have me or one of them holding up a piece of paper. That’s what that’s about.

Schneep narrowed his eyes. “That is not all of the pictures with just one of—”

JJ reached down and nudged him. It’s your turn again.

“Ah, so soon?” Schneep looked back at the TV.

The short conversation hadn’t gone unnoticed. Pretty much everyone else had heard and seen it, though Stacy was a bit confused on some of the words JJ signed. Jackie looked the most uneasy out of the group. He kept glancing back towards the hallway, towards the mentioned dining room. The only one who hadn’t really reacted was Marvin. He hadn’t turned away from the television the whole time. As if it wasn’t important enough to look away from the video game to listen.

“Weird,” Chase muttered, deciding to move on.

“Yeah, weird, huh, Chase Brody?” Stacy said in a suddenly pointed tone.

“Huh?” Chase looked over at her. She was still sitting in the armchair, basically in a straight line across the room from him.

“A lot of things are weird,” she said, eyes latched onto him from behind her pink-rimmed glasses. “But like, sometimes you shouldn’t use that word. People might not care for it.”

“Oh. Oh! Right.” Chase cringed. He hadn’t forgotten about apologizing to Marvin for the whole ‘magic weirdo’ incident. He just... hadn’t been able to. They were all so busy with school, and the Jacksons were in a different year so it was harder to see them around, and the group hadn’t met up much outside of school until now...

But this was a birthday party. This was supposed to be fun. Though, if Marvin thought Chase didn’t like him, that would get in the way of the fun. But also, what if Marvin had moved past it? He didn’t seem... different. Like how he’d been different recently. But also also, that could have been because Marvin also didn’t want to kill the fun mood. God, why was having friends so hard? It wasn’t supposed to be hard.

Chase was a bit quiet as they finished up the game, trying to think of a way to do this. As they wrapped up (JJ won), he decided it would probably be best to get right to it. “Hey, uh, Marvin? Can I talk to you... in the hallway?”

“Huh?” Marvin looked at him, confused. “Uh... sure.” He stood up. “Don’t pick a game without us, guys.”

“Everything okay, you two?” Jackie asked, concerned.

“Yeah, uh... I just want to talk about some stuff.” Chase glanced at Stacy. She gave him a smug little smile that made him want to change his mind about this. But whatever.

“Alright, c’mon.” Marvin walked into the hallway, and Chase followed him.

The two of them stopped halfway between the living room and the dining room doorway. It wasn’t too far, but Chase didn’t want the adults hearing this, that would be weird. As long as they spoke quietly, it should be fine. “So, uh...” Chase kicked at the carpet. “I, uh... Stacy told me that I’d said something mean.”

“She did?” Marvin’s face was hard to read.

“Yeah. I mean, it’s not like I didn’t—I didn’t mean it when I said it, I just... wasn’t really thinking... uh.” Chase took a deep breath. “Anyway. When we were in the planetarium basement, Stacy and I were talking, and I said that I didn’t want people to know I was hanging out with ‘magic weirdos.’”

Marvin stiffened slightly. Chase wouldn’t have noticed that before, but now he was paying attention. “Yeah?”

“I, uh... didn’t realize you... heard that,” Chase said slowly. “A-and it’s not what I meant! I wasn’t calling you o-or anyone else a weirdo, I just... I-I was trying to say that’s what other kids would say. Not me. But, uh, Stacy and Schneep pointed out that it was still calling you guys names, and I’m sorry. I-I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

Marvin tilted his head. “Really?”

“Uh... yeah.” Chase wasn’t expecting that flat tone. “I’m sorry. You’re not weird.”

“Really?” Marvin narrowed his eyes slightly.

“Yeah.”

“I’m wearing a fucking cape.” He twirled said cape around. “That’s not weird?”

“I mean... it is.” Chase instantly regretted that. “But that’s not a bad thing!” he hurried to add. “I mean, it’s great! You’re great. I-I still like you. And... and I never want to make you feel bad. So... I’m sorry.”

Marvin was silent for a moment. Chase shifted on his feet uncomfortably. He didn’t realize until now that Marvin rarely looked directly at people. The way he was staring at Chase now. Just as Chase was about to break the quiet, Marvin nodded. “Okay. Yeah.”

“We’re... good?” Chase asked hesitantly.

“Yeah. Apology accepted.” Marvin turned around. “Let’s go back to the party now.”

Chase watched him walk back down the hallway. He couldn’t help but feel that this wasn’t really over... But he followed him back into the living room anyway. Maybe he could ask about it again later.

It might have just been because of that conversation, but Chase felt like there was a weird mood in the air after that. The group played another game, shouting and laughing like they’d been doing before. Stacy talked a lot about how this was different from what she usually did with friends. Jackie took pictures with his camera. Marvin and JJ got really competitive playing. It all seemed fine on the surface. And yet, he could have sworn there was this... this tension below all that.

After only half an hour, the grown-ups walked into the room. Granmam, and a man and woman who were clearly the twins’ parents. The woman had short blonde hair and blue eyes, while the man had darker brown hair and a thick beard. “Alright boys!” Mr. Jackson clapped his hands for attention. “It’s time to open gifts.”

“Aw, hell yeah.” Marvin paused the game and put down the remote. “Jackie, scoot over, I have to sit next to JJ for this.”

“Here, you just take the spot.” Jackie stood up. “I don’t mind standing.”

Everyone scrambled to make room. Luckily, the adults had the idea to bring in chairs from the kitchen and put them down in front of the television (which they turned off without powering off the Wii.) It ended up with Chase, Schneep, and Stacy crowded onto the long part of the sofa’s L while the twins sat on the short part. The grown-ups sat in the kitchen chairs while Jackie took the armchair, where he now sat with his camera out for pictures. “Why don’ you open the gifts from all your friends first, boys?” Granmam suggested.

“Oh! Open ours!” Chase shouted. “That one’s for Marvin, and that one’s for JJ, right there, in the green wrapping paper.”

“Cool, it’s big!” Marvin said, excitedly picking up his present. “JJ, same time?”

Same time, JJ agreed, and the two of them started unwrapping, with Marvin tearing off the paper and JJ carefully undoing the tape.

“Henrik insisted on getting at least one book,” Chase said. “I don’t really get it, but I think you’ll like it. And, uh, they didn’t have the sort of magic that you like, Marvin, so I hope that’s fine—”

Marvin gasped. “It’s perfect!” He’d unwrapped a box that turned out to be a magic trick kit. “Magnificent Magic? Oh, that’s cool. I’m gonna learn how to do all the fucking card tricks.”

As one, the kids glanced towards Mr. and Mrs. Jackson, all of them expecting some reaction to Marvin’s swearing. But the two parents seemed fine. Mrs. Jackson was taking pictures just like Jackie was, smiling gently. “What did you get, Jameson?” Mr. Jackson asked. “Hold it up for the camera.”

JJ held up his present and automatically smiled for the picture. It was a book about filming techniques in old Hollywood. Chase hadn’t understood why Schneep insisted JJ would like it, but clearly Schneep had been right, because after the photo JJ turned to them and excitedly signed, Thank you so so much! It’s amazing! I’ve never had a book like this!

“You are welcome,” Schneep mumbled, grinning and ducking his head in embarrassment.

“You guys should do mine next,” Stacy said, pointing to a pair of identical white-and-gold presents.

Oooo the paper is so nice, JJ said, and picked one up.

“Yeah, we have really nice paper.” Stacy paused as the twins unwrapped the gifts. “I didn’t really know what to get you guys, because everyone I asked about presents for boys suggested sports stuff or car stuff, and I don’t think you guys care about either of those. So I gave up and got you the same thing I would’ve got a girl friend I didn’t know too well.”

“What is it?” Marvin opened up the thin book and looked at the pages inside. The cover was blue with a pattern of clouds. JJ held a book that was exactly the same, but with a pattern of stars.

“Diaries. Or, uh, journals, if ‘diary’ is too girly for you,” Stacy explained. “I think everyone should write stuff down.”

That’s such a great idea, JJ said, smiling. He and Marvin looked at each other and, after a second, swapped journals, apparently deciding they liked the other cover better.

“Hold it up for the picture!” Mrs. Jackson said, taking a photograph. “Oooo, they have little locks on them, how cute.”

“It’s just Jackie’s left now, right?” Marvin asked.

“Yeah.” Jackie chuckled. “I hope you’re not too disappointed. They’re those two gift bags right there.”

The twins picked up the bags and pulled out the tissue paper to look at the contents inside. What is this? JJ asked.

“It’s for your video camera. If you put the case on it, it’s supposed to protect it from being dropped. I hope it fits. I wanted to get a tripod, but I wasn’t sure if you already had one, or if I could find one you could use. Be hard to wrap, anyway.”

Marvin gasped as he looked at what he had. “Witchy socks!” He pulled out a bunch of striped and patterned socks in a variety of colors, all themed around black cats and broomsticks and other witch-like stuff. “That’s so fucking cool! I’ve never had fun socks before! Thank you!”

“Picture, boys!” Mrs. Jackson trilled, snapping another photo even though Marvin wasn’t looking at the camera. “Now it’s time for the gifts from family!”

“Ah, don’ rush ‘em, dear,” Granmam said. “The gifts’ll still be t’ere in five minutes. Here, boys.” She leaned forward, holding out a pair of envelopes. “I’m sure ye know what’s in t’ese.”

The family gifts started with money from Granmam, fifty in cash for each of the twins, which they both looked very excited for. The rest of the presents were from their parents. As JJ had suspected, a lot of the flat, rectangular packages were boxes of clothes. Every time he opened one, Mr. and Mrs. Jackson gushed about how nice he would look in that shirt, or those pants. He clearly got sick of it very quickly, but he kept smiling every time his mom prompted him for a picture. Marvin, meanwhile, abandoned all sense of order and began tearing open presents.

“Dude, slow down,” Chase said. “You’re not even checking the labels.”

Marvin snorted and rolled his eyes. “They don’t have labels. We’re twins. It’s always for both of us.”

That sort of made sense. But also... neither of the twins looked particularly excited about the presents from their parents. All of them were rather boring. Clothes, books, school supplies. The most exciting it got was a pair of white teddy bears, identical except for the bow ties around their necks (red and blue.) Where was all the fun stuff? If you were going to buy stuff that both of the twins would enjoy, wouldn’t you buy things that both of them liked? Instead of things that neither of them did?

Mr. and Mrs. Jackson didn’t seem to notice their kids’ lackluster reactions. They kept saying things like, “Isn’t it great?” and “That’ll be so helpful!” and “You’ll get a lot of use out of t’at!” Chase found himself quickly getting annoyed by these comments, but he had to be nice. They were Marvin and JJ’s parents, after all, and this was their house.

He also noticed Jackie had put away his camera a while ago, and was now leaning back in the armchair not reacting to much. Schneep was staring at the parents and frowning, but saying nothing. Stacy still looked like she was paying attention to the present-opening, but Chase recognized the way eyes began to glaze over when someone was bored. It usually happened to him in math class.

Eventually, it was over. Or—was it?

“Alright, everyone stay right here!” Mrs. Jackson stood up. “We have one last special gift t’is year!”

Mr. Jackson also nodded and stood up. “We’ll be right back.”

The two of them left, leaving Marvin and JJ exchanging curious looks. Granmam beamed at them. “You two will love t’is, boys,” she said. “I’ve helped out a bit wit’ the costs and the... well. Everyt’ing else you’ll need.”

The parents soon returned carrying a large box between them, wrapped but with a circular hole in one side. Unlike all the other presents, this one had a label on the top, though Chase couldn’t see what it was since there was also a large red ribbon. “Alright, here you go,” Mr. Jackson said as the two of them set it down on the sofa between the twins.

Marvin and JJ leaned over, looking at the label. They looked up at each other. JJ grimaced slightly, and Marvin leaned back, playing with the edge of his cape. “Come on, open it!” Mrs. Jackson said, sitting down and picking up the camera. “Marvin, help your brother.”

“No, I’m fine,” Marvin said shortly. “Go ahead, JJ.”

JJ’s grimace deepened, but he quickly schooled his expression into pleasant neutrality. Are you sure? he asked.

“Yeah.”

JJ nodded slowly. He began unwrapping the large box. Was it just in Chase’s imagination, or was the box... wiggling?

The paper fell away to reveal a big cardboard box. JJ opened the flaps on the top, and—

Something inside squeaked out a small mew.

The room fell silent. Chase stared at Marvin, who was looking into the box with wide eyes as a small gray head peeked over the edge. Mr. and Mrs. Jackson smiled. “Whoo!” Mrs. Jackson said. “Do you like it, Jameson?”

“Emma, the kitten is a present for both of them,” Granmam said, frowning in clear disapproval.

“We just thought that Jameson has been doing so well this year that he deserved a little extra reward,” Mr. Jackson explained. “Marvin can help take care of it, too, of course. We don’t play favorites.”

Marvin abruptly stood up. “I have to go to the bathroom,” he said, and hurried out of the room.

“Marvin!” Jackie gasped. He also stood and followed Marvin out of there.

“Um...” Stacy’s head darted around the room. Out of everyone, she was the most uncomfortable. “Is it... cute?” she asked awkwardly.

JJ reached into the box, prompting a couple more squeaky meows. He pulled out a tiny gray kitten, gently holding it in two hands. It wriggled a bit, and he carefully lowered it back into the box. He nodded.

“Alright, I suppose it’s time for cake, t’en,” Mrs. Jackson said.

JJ violently shook his head. I’m not blowing out the candles without Marvin, he said.

“He’ll just be a minute, Jameson—” Mr. Jackson started.

“Listen to the lad, will you?!” Granmam snapped. “He wants his brother t’ere, and you shoul’ too!” She stood up and left the room.

Mrs. Jackson sighed. “It’s alright, Bobby, we can wait,” she said. “Let’s go get everyt’ing ready in the kitchen, sure?”

Mr. Jackson nodded, and the two of them left the room.

The four remaining kids sat in silence for a long time. JJ’s eyes were fixed on the kitten in the box.

“Are you two... okay?” Schneep whispered.

JJ sighed. It’s fine.

“It is not.”

I know, but... JJ trailed off.

“You two can come over to our house whenever you want,” Schneep said quietly. “Ja, Chase?”

“Ja—Yes.” Chase nodded.

JJ gave them a small smile. Thank you. He sat up straight. I don’t think Marvin will be back for a while. I hope you weren’t expecting cake any time soon. While we wait, can you all help me sort these presents out? We’ll just stack them on top of the table again.

The others mumbled agreement and quietly went to work. Chase glanced up towards the second floor, where Marvin had mentioned the bathroom was. Everything would be fine, right?

++++++++++++++++++++

Knock knock knock. “Marvin?”

Marvin started, his breath catching in his throat. He looked towards the closed bathroom door but didn’t stand up from where he was sitting in the bathtub. In fact, he curled up tighter, pulling his knees closer to his chest and burying his face in them. 

“Marvin?” Jackie called again. “Are you okay?”

He wasn’t. But that didn’t matter, did it? It never. Fucking. Mattered. A sob clawed at his throat but he choked it back. Not while Jackie could hear.

“Everyone’s waiting downstairs,” Jackie said gently. “I... I know you’re upset. It... That was some bullshit back there. But... we... we’re here for you. JJ is, too.”

JJ was always there for him. Marvin had always been so... so happy that he was. It would be easy for him to leave his twin behind, but that wasn’t how it was between them. Did that make it worse? That he clearly didn’t want this, but it kept happening?

Another soft knock on the door. “Marvin?” It was Granmam this time. “I talked t’your parents. They shouldn’ have done t’at, the kitten is a gift for both of ye. I’m sorry.” She paused. “When you come out, we can have cake. It’s butter yellow, wit’ chocolate frosting. You can blow out the candles when you’re ready.”

Marvin swallowed the lump in his throat. “Mm-hmm,” he said. It was the most he could muster up.

He heard quiet voices. And then footsteps. The creak of the staircase. Granmam had probably convinced Jackie to leave. She knew that sometimes he just needed his space.

The moment they were out of earshot, the crying started in earnest. Marvin clutched his hair, rocking back and forth. Why? Why was this his life? Why was it always so hard? Why couldn’t he just have been normal? This was who he was. He couldn’t change it no matter how hard he tried. And he did try. When he was little, he tried to be quiet like Jameson, thinking that maybe his parents just didn’t like loud noises. But that wasn’t how it worked. That wasn’t how he worked. So he tried leaning into it. Maybe he could be impossible to forget about. And yet.

He didn’t understand. He never understood. And not just at home, either. Everyone else was the same. But it was the opposite there, wasn’t it? They never forgot him. They never forgot about how he broke the stupid rules that all the other kids seemed to just know! Why didn’t he know the rules?! What was wrong with wearing a cape to school? It didn’t break the dress code, and he liked how it felt, isn’t that all that should matter? Did they think he didn’t notice how they all looked away quickly? How not a single person ever talked with him if they didn’t need to?

Apparently they didn’t. Chase didn’t even realize that he’d hurt his feelings until Stacy told him. Shouldn’t it be fucking obvious?! Was he not doing it right?! How was he supposed to be upset the right way?! It shouldn’t matter! None of this should matter!

But it did.

“I’m sorry. You’re not weird.”

Chase was trying to be nice, but it didn’t work. Marvin knew he was different. He’d always known.

“But I still like you.”

‘Still.’ Like Marvin’s personality was something Chase had to... put up with. Was that always it? Was he always something to be put up with, and nothing more?

That was it, wasn’t it?

Marvin’s throat was starting to hurt from the sobs clawing at it. His pants had grown wet with tears and snot where he’d pressed his face into his legs. He couldn’t stay here. They were all waiting for him. Couldn’t keep up with the twins’ birthday if one half of the twins was missing.

Slowly, he raised his head. He wiped his face on his arm. “Stop it,” he said to himself. “Stop it, stop it.” He never understood how people stayed calm when it had all been so much. “Stop it, damn it.”

He got to his feet and stepped out of the bathtub, walking over to stand in front of the sink. His eyes were terribly red, and his lips were trembling. “Stop it,” he said to his reflection. Tears gathered in the reflection’s eyes, and he gritted his teeth. “Fucking stop it. You’re fourteen now. You can’t keep acting like a kid.”

His chest heaved with the effort of controlling his shaking breaths. He turned on the sink and splashed some cold water on his face. That seemed to shock his system enough for him to grab control again. He took several deep breaths just to prove he could. Then turned to the bathroom door, grabbed the handle, and slowly pushed it open.

The upstairs hallway was pretty quiet. Marvin couldn’t hear any noise from downstairs. He stepped out of the bathroom and walked over towards the staircase, pausing at the top. Now he could hear voices. Were they having a good time?

“Hey.”

“What the f—?!” Marvin spun around. That voice had come from right behind him.

And it was clear why. Standing mere inches from him... was Anti. Grinning. Marvin blinked, disoriented. He looked so... real. There wasn’t a hint of transparency to his body, though most of it was still black as shadow. The slash across his throat oozed blood, and Marvin could smell the metallic tang from it.

“Happy birthday,” Anti said.

And then he pushed.

Marvin screamed—mostly in surprise—he hadn’t seen the shove with how close they were—and then in pain. The world became colors—brown and white and blue—as he crashed down the stairs. His bones jolted with each impact. His arms and legs flailed.

And then his head cracked against something and it all went dark.

++++++++++++++++++++

Jameson’s head snapped up at the sound of the scream. He was running before the clattering sound even began. The others were frozen for a split second before they all ran after him, going right past the grown-ups also hurrying towards the sound.

Another scream. A lot like the other one. The kids all jolted in surprise; they hadn’t realized Jameson could scream. But he could. And he did. The reason why was clear.

Marvin was splayed at the bottom of the stairs. His body a tangled heap. Jameson collapsed to his knees next to him and started shaking his shoulder. When that didn’t work, he pulled him closer, cradling Marvin’s head in his arms as he started to cry. There was a smear of blood on the hardwood floor.

“Holy fuckin’ god!” Granmam gasped. “Mary and Joseph! Emma, call the fuckin’ hospital!”

Mrs. Jackson nodded, clearly in shock, and ran back into the dining room.

“I-is he okay?” Chase asked in a hushed voice. “What... what happened?”

Jackie put a hand on his shoulder. “He must’ve fallen down the stairs. He’ll... he’ll be fine.” Though Chase appreciated the comfort, he heard the shaking doubt in Jackie’s voice.

Schneep ran forward, kneeling next to Jameson. “You need to check pulses in the neck,” he said hurriedly, reaching out to feel for a heartbeat. “But sometimes i-it is hard to find, so you—you check the mouth with a mirror for breath. But! I-I can feel it. He is... okay, Jameson.”

Jameson shook his head. Things were not okay. Marvin was not okay.

++++++++++++++++++++

Chase had never been to the hospital before. He’d been to the doctor, but not to the hospital. It was different here. Brighter. The fluorescent lights lit up the white walls in a blinding way. Everyone who worked here wore blue or green shirts and pants. Things smelled... different. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

Stacy’s parents had already come to pick her up. She looked at the rest of them sadly, said, “Tell Marvin I said hi when he wakes up, a-and I hope he gets better,” then left with them. Chase and Schneep were still here. Sitting on a hard, square sofa in the middle of the hallway. A few doors down, JJ and his parents were inside a hospital room with Marvin, who still hadn’t woken up.

Mom was here, too. Schneep asked Chase to call her soon after Mrs. Jackson announced an ambulance was on the way, so that she could drive them to the hospital, too. Chase agreed. Neither of them wanted to leave. Mom understood, and was now waiting with them. Her foot kept tapping on the tiled floor while she stood there. She was worried. When she noticed Chase staring at her, she gave him a quick smile, to show that she was not worried.

The door to the room opened. A man wearing a white coat and those same blue clothes stepped out, followed shortly by Mr. Jackson, then Mrs. Jackson, who was holding Jameson tightly by the hand. The man glanced down at where Chase and Schneep were sitting, then went back into the room. The Jacksons saw them too, and walked over.

“How are things?” Mom asked, taking immediate charge of the situation.

“He’ll be fine,” Mr. Jackson said. “The fall just knocked him out and gave him a concussion. He’s awake now, but it hurts, so they gave him something for the pain. They want to keep him here for a night to monitor things.”

“Is it... okay that he was out for so long?” Mom asked cautiously.

“That’s what they’re watching for,” Mr. Jackson explained.

Chase and Schneep looked at JJ. His eyes were distant, staring forward at nothing. But he noticed them looking and managed to focus. Yanking his hand free of his mom’s grip, he signed, He was really confused and couldn’t really talk but the doctor said that was normal and he might actually be lucky considering his head hit the bannister.

“Can we go see him?” Chase asked.

“Sorry, kids, it’s family only right now,” Mrs. Jackson said sympathetically.

“But you are not still in there.” Schneep stared at the Jackson parents, his expression intense, but hard to read.

“Unfortunately, we can’t stay all day,” Mrs. Jackson continued. “We have work tomorrow, and Jameson is too young to stay on his own.”

Schneep nodded, but Chase saw his hands clench into shaking fists. And he realized what that intense expression meant: Schneep was angry.

JJ turned around, looking over his shoulder at the door to the room. His mom grabbed his hand again. “We’ll be right back here tomorrow,” she said to him. “Eight am sharp, promise.” He looked at her and nodded, his eyes going distant again before he looked back at the closed door.

There was some more talk between the adults, and then Mom sighed and said, “Alright, sweets. I know it sucks, but we have to go home now. We’ll come back tomorrow. Public visiting hours start at nine, and we’ll be right here for that. I promise.” Her voice softened into a whisper. “Marvin’s going to be fine.”

Chase and Schneep stared at each other. “I guess... we have to go,” Chase said.

Schneep nodded reluctantly.

The two of them stood up and followed Mom out of the hospital. The heavy air choked out all words, and the car ride back home was silent.

This wasn’t how today was supposed to go.

++++++++++++++++++++

Something was wrong.

Marvin had tried to explain it to Jameson when he woke up, but something was off. The words weren’t coming out, it was only mumbled sounds. The clearest thing he could manage was “Th’ shadow... wasn’... a sh’doh...” And that was no good. Did Jameson understand?

He’d never felt pain like this before. There was lightning in his head, racing down his face and neck with every heartbeat. A woman in blue clothes—scrubs. That’s what they were called. She put a needle in his arm and said it would help.

Mam and Dad left. They took Jameson with them. He saw the tears forming in his eyes, and he started crying as well. “Don’ leef...!” he tried to say.

His head was full of water, too, now. The ceiling tiles were starting to become one as the separating lines blurred together. This wasn’t... normal. This was... wrong.

He knew the doctor’s voice.

“Don’t worry, Mr. and Mrs. Jackson, your son will be fine.”

Where did he know the voice from? The last time he’d been to the hospital was years ago, and he didn’t remember much of that visit. Why would he remember this voice?

The doctor was talking to the woman in blue scrubs now. The door to the room was closed but they were still mumbling. He had... he had to listen. But... they were talking underwater.

“...bit of a risk...” “They won’t... remember the first... years ago?” “Alri... move him? Tonight?” “...o’clock, when the shift...”

Why... was he so sleepy? He didn’t... need a nap. He never...

A shadow formed on the ceiling. It looked like... a person. And it... said something. He struggled against the sudden... sudden tiredness, and just before he fell asleep... he heard...

“I think you’ll like your present.”

[svchengss]

two halves | l.mh

PAIRING. mark lee x reader

GENRE. fluff, heavy angst

WARNINGS. major character death, grief

WORD COUNT. 2.4k

SUMMARY. right after his death, mark watches how you cope with the loss

A/N. i saw this one tiktok and it kinda inspired me to write this

// just to let you guys know, reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated !! thank you for reading :D

white walls, white room.

mark scrunched his face, his eyelashes slowly fluttering open, the dark brown iris adjusting the size of the pupils due to the brightness of the walls reflected upon it. a soft groan vibrating from his throat, he assessed his surroundings where nobody or nothing else is present. he looked down to inspect his clothing, hoping that it would give him any clue of this room or space he’s in - an all white outfit. this scene looks exactly like the one in the movies where the characters realize they are dead. except this time, he really is.

THE REALIZATION.

the muffled sounds of cries and sobs rang through his eardrums, triggering a reflex to wake up from the state that he thought was a slumber. he is lying on the hospital bed with the light blue clothing piece, faint light illuminating the space where people are huddled up around him. he waved his right hand in the air to let them - who he later remembered as his family members and friends, know that his eyes are already open. nobody moved even the slightest, the atmosphere being very much dead, scent of medicine intoxicating his mind.

then he saw someone who he holds very dear to his heart - you, enter the hospital room, dropping onto her knees as soon as she saw his state of condition. in an instant, he shot up from his lying position and ran over towards the crying you, shoulders shaking and all. bringing his hands to hold you in his embrace, not even a glance spared by you brought a hundred and one questions to him. why didn’t anybody acknowledge him when he woke up? why can’t you feel his touch?

“mark lee. time of death, 10:23 pm,” the tall doctor with glasses rested on the bridge of his nose announced before leaving the room, holding the clipboard close to his chest. mark gauged the monitor screen next to the bed, the line indicating his heartbeat is no longer showing spikes going up and down - instead becoming a flat line, deafening beep present with it. then he sees himself still laying on the white sheets, eyes still closed and no signs of breathing evident. a surge of panic rushed through his veins.

this can’t be real.

mark rushed into the bathroom, a surprised gasp leaving his lips. his body is semi-transparent, the shape of the toilet bowl can be seen through his left shoulder. his body shakes with terror, slapping himself in the cheeks multiple times just to make sure that this whole fiasco is just a nightmare.

oh my god. no, this is real.

mark stood in the back of the crowd, witnessing the funeral of someone and that someone being him. of course, he’s never expected to get the sight of his own service. his mother is standing beside you, her hands rubbing circles onto your back in an attempt to calm your mourning state. you’re still looking ever so pretty, a black chiffon dress on your body with white pearl necklace on your collarbones and your wavy black hair hanging down your shoulders. not that anybody else would notice, it’s someone’s death after all.

“stay strong, y/n. he will always be in our hearts,” the same rhythm of sentence in tones full of pity being directed towards you. mark’s sister enveloped you into a warm hug despite the chilly atmosphere, whispering comforting words into your ears before getting into the family’s car. you’re not going back home, not yet when you still feel reluctant to let him go.

“why did you leave me?” the only coherent words from your hoarse voice can be heard. mark, who is crouching next to you, is holding his tears back. instead, he sends a sorrowful smile - not that you can see him anyway. is there any way to let you know of his presence?

“goodbye, love. i’ll see you tomorrow. i promise,” you dusted the back of your dress from any dirt or debris, leaving a rose on his tombstone. the thing is, he doesn’t want to part from you. and that’s why his figure is seated beside you in the cab. he grazed his thumb on your knuckles, making you feel tingles rushing through. you pushed the slight thought away, you must be tired to be feeling things.

you slowly opened the door to your apartment, you and mark’s to be exact. the whole house is making those memories make their presence in the back of your head again. the kitchen where you two baked cookies for christmas last year. the bedroom where you snuggled upon his chest, not wanting to start your day just yet. the piano where he sang those cheesy songs for you. the living room where you slow danced at 3 in the morning. his favourite mug resting on the countertop, probably will not be used again. this whole situation is too overwhelming for you. you feel weak.

with each day passing by, you didn’t even miss one without a visit to his resting lot. you would tell him stories of how your day went or something that you read which would made him ponder. the words carved on it are already etched onto your brain.

mark lee. a son, a brother and a loving partner.

the clock hanging on the grey wall has it’s arms stretched out to display the time - two in the morning. you can’t sleep just yet, not having any for the past few days even. dark circles are appearing around your eyes, not yet recovered from the puffiness from all the crying. mark’s heart aches everytime he takes upon your state. he feels very guilty, not that death was his choice after all. it’s simply fate, a cycle of life, a destiny that every single creature on this planet will end up with.

you’ve taken the whole month off work, still feeling ever so helpless. in fact, you can’t even remember the last time you’ve stepped out of the apartment, the night before his passing perhaps? you’ve completely shut yourself out from any interactions - deactivating your social media, not accepting any calls. you just need time to heal.

as if you’re being controlled by some type of mastermind, you shoot up on the balls of your feet, pulling away from the couch. those images of you slow dancing with mark, hands in each other’s holds, your chin rested in the crook of his neck and being ever so engrossed in love are coming back more often now. you trudged to the vinyls arranged neatly on the shelf, picking one before placing it on the turntable - frank sinatra, one of his all time favourites.

holding your hands up at about his usual height, you start twirling around. you can almost see the outline of his smile, his features right in front of you. except, he is. he’s been observing your moves the whole night. mirroring your current position, as if you can really see him, it’s a miracle for him. overjoyed actually, he doesn’t realize the salty tears streaming down his cheekbones and so are yours.

“thank you for coming, dear. it’s a pleasure seeing you in what, weeks?” a laugh escaped the woman’s lips. you reciprocated her hug before stepping into the living room. it’s been a long time since you’ve been here, was it in january? mrs. lee had invited you over for a simple dinner, checking up on how you’ve been. you can see that the family is still struggling over his passing, the way his sister’s eyes are not twinkling as usual makes it hard to cover up the lie.

“you see, this was on his high school graduation day. he was very happy that day, doing all sorts of dances and stuff. finally escaping from hell as he said,” she giggled. she’s been displaying all sorts of memoirs to you, photo albums and photographs scattered on the wooden floor. to be honest, you’ve never seen these before. all smiles mark lee, easy to notice among the crowd. not that he’s changed, he’s still that boy now. mark just sat on the couch - his favourite spot, observing the throwback session going on. if he’s still here, his sister for sure is going to tease the hell out of him.

“he told us so much about you, you know? as if everything reminds him of you, that boy is lovestruck. really,” that sudden confession made your tongue dry, unable to find a perfect response. you were really that special to him.

“drive safe honey, you can come over whenever you want. you know you’re always welcome here, right?” mrs. lee handed you the small box filled with some things you’re going to keep. she kissed both of your cheeks, mr. lee standing behind her giving you a small wave. a small smile crept up onto your face before igniting the engine, turning your wheels out of the housing area.

the netflix show is playing on the television, the faint voices of the characters playing in the background. you’re sitting on the floor, flipping through the photo journal you two decorated throughout your one year of relationship. you can see his little scribbles and doodles, often a little dinosaur symbolising your always grumpy personality.

in one photo, a golden birthday hat is nicely placed on your head with him kissing your right cheek. you remember clearly, a surprise party for you last year. in the following ones, they are mostly candid shots - you blowing out the candles while he looks at you full of love, him eating a portion of your dish while you pout your lips. you would say it was the night of your life, spending it with the guy who stole your heart.

the next page of the journal is a shot of mark taking a photo of you in the park. you suppose it was taken by donghyuck? that one picture of you was stuck as his lock screen wallpaper for a while, you remembered getting so embarrassed over it. mark would give you the same excuse every time you questioned him about it, implying that the sight of you would light up his whole day. cheesy really, but that was what remained as memories of the past, tied neatly in your heart.

the rain trickling against your window eventually made you doze off to wonderland, creating the perfect chance for mark to browse through the journal in your hands. carefully lifting it from yours so that you won’t be stirred from your sleep, he settled down in the space beside your sleeping figure. slowly turning the pages, he smiled fondly at each photo holding a thousand moments that can’t be recreated ever again. some of them would make him giggle. he kneeled down slightly to place a soft kiss on your forehead, making you squirm a little due to the faint touch.

“give him a chance. i’m not saying that you should forget mark but it’s been months, you should live up a little,” yerim’s voice sounding concerned from the other end of the line. perhaps she’s right but you just need more time. but how much longer? you’re afraid you yourself have no specific answer for that enquiry.

you’ve been feeling better by now, welcoming people back into your life and carrying out the same daily routine of yours. going to work, buying groceries, going to the drive-thru and whatnot. of course, the void is still obvious - coming back home to an empty atmosphere instead of him waiting for you on the couch, sometimes dozing off, no more weekend cafe runs. but at least you’re trying your best. you bid your goodbyes before tapping the red button, ending the call. plopping the device onto the mattress, you stared at the white ceiling, deep in your own thoughts.

you should give him a chance. live up a little.

yes, you should.

getting hold of the phone and immediately opening the messages app, you searched for jungwoo’s number. he’s been trying to take you out for dinner for a while now. you still remember his exact words, whenever you’re ready he’s always there, waiting for you. you’re not really sure about that particular question but it wouldn't hurt to give it a try, right?

typing in the words ‘okay, sure’ is already a pressure for you but you still proceeded to press the send button. glancing at the clock showing the time, the notification ping redirected your focus onto the screen.

jungwoo: cool, is tomorrow night okay with you? i’ll drive, of course :)

tomorrow night. okay, tomorrow night.

an elegant red gown is wrapping your curves perfectly, a thin necklace with the seashell charm around your neck while your lips is decorated with the dark red tone, highlighting your poise appearance. hearing the doorbell ring, you tidied up the dresser as your eyes landed onto the picture frame holding a photo of you and mark. a sad feeling crept into your heart but you pushed it away, opening the door to reveal jungwoo in a black and white tuxedo.

you would say that the dinner went well, none of his questions or chatters crossing any borderline. he’s just so polite, even you are amused. feeling comfortable with his presence, the small gap in between is eventually closing down since you’ve learned so much about each other during the other few dates. one night completely changed it for you, him offering you a dance at some event he’s bringing you with.

you observed that his moves are slightly similar to mark’s - not completely of course, mark’s is very unique and very…mark-ish. for the first time ever in the recent turn of events, you flashed a genuine smile. one that is not just for show, one that only comes out when you’re truly elated, one that you only manage to give to certain. mark just observed the scene from a distance, admiring how you’ve managed to find the spark of happiness you once lost.

alas, mark saw his other half become full again with another, her eyes twinkling with the same joy but this time, it’s not him in the reflection.

[purebarnes]

the one where y/n finds out.

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ ➢ when you have your birthday party at your shared apartment, everyone arrives but only for sam to leak one of bucky’s deep secret. leaving everyone shocked and confused about everything.

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ ➢ 2.3k

ᴅɪꜱᴄʟᴀɪᴍᴇʀꜱ ➢ angst, little too late, heartbroken

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ ꜱᴘᴇᴀ��ꜱ ➢ n/a

you used to not liking celebrating your birthday but that was until you became an avenger and the friendships that evolved throughout the years. when you first moved to new york, you and wanda instantly clicked—you loved her and when she had the idea to be your roommate, you loved it even more.

tony helped you guys move in with the rest of the guys including nat and pepper. you loved them for helping you guys all in short notice, whenever you would carry a box that seemed heavy, bucky would intervene. he would make comments about leaving it so he could grab which you didn’t mind.

wanda would casually look over to see bucky and you talking but wanda would constantly tease you about it. telling her that you were just friends but she and sam wouldn’t let it go. tony would get comfortable and relaxing on your couch that they had just finished setting up but pepper scolding her husband.

when your birthday came around the corner, wanda insisted you to have a party if she would have to do it for you. that’s what she did. she bought invitations and got the decorations, made vision buy her a cake, told nat and bruce to bring in the drinks, demanded steve, sam and bucky to not mess anything up.

you told them not to listen to her but wanda made sure they all did something to make her birthday extra special. the morning, wanda went to the store to grab some supplies for the party while you got ready. hearing the keys jingle from the outside, you grabbed a towel and finished drying your hair.

when the door opened, wanda sighed putting the few bags in her hand. “i almost had to fight some old lady for this.” she said pointing to the bag as went to open the fridge for a drink. you chuckled at your friend as you sat down, “wan. you didn’t have to do this. i would of been fine if it was just you, me and nat—bucky?” she teased as you rolled your eyes grabbing a potato chip bag and opening it to hear the small tear when you opened it.

although he wasn’t boyfriend, sometimes you couldn’t help but feel a certain type of way around him, he had a shared apartment with sam so he understood what you meant by all that.

you popped a chip in your mouth when wanda went to check the time on the oven while she gasped—she grabbed the bag of chips as you groaned. “alright, we have 4 hours to—that’s probably enough.” you stated at wanda and her eagerness. she shook her head in denial as she kept pushing you out, “you, just relax and i will handle everything.”

she pushed you into your bedroom as you sighed turning around the your bed and plopping onto the soft white cushion. you started to feel your eyelids drop and started to fall back to sleep. a hour later you heard a male in your shared apartment and decided to see who it was.

you left your room and saw that it was vision and wanda talking about something like paprika or how she wouldn’t let him cook any food. when wanda looked up, vision got up to wish you happy birthday. “happy birthday, y/n.” he spoke walking over to give you a hug. “oh, thank you. vision what are you doing here so early. the party doesn’t start—i just wanted to see what i could help with.” he told her looking between the two women.

until wanda widened her eyes when she saw that you weren’t even dressed yet, “y/n! go get dressed, your boyfriend is almost here!” even though you did like him a lot, that wouldn’t change the fact. when you finally got dressed, you saw wanda finishing up some of the food with nat grabbing a beer.

the door suddenly opening to steve, bucky and sam as they all introduced themselves—“the men are here.” sam announced dropping his voice dropping the gift bag on the table as both of the girls narrowed their eyebrows. you went over to see what was happening, “I am going to stop you right now.” natasha spoke ripping the coal that was in sam’s hands.

you went over to hug them all fully stopping at bucky, “hi—happy birthday, doll.” he whispered wrapping his arms around your waist then letting when you hugged the rest of the guys. steve went to give you a gift as you accepted it placing it on the table. “where is the drinks?” Clint asked when he arrived already wanting to drink as you pointed to the blue cooler on the floor.

“so steve, how are things going with your girlfriend…” nat taunted taking a sip of the drink as steve rolled his eyes at her, “fine. you know how i’m doing the thing…” he let out signaling what they said before the party, “well the only problem is she now wants to have sex with me.” steve spoke as sam sighed sitting next to him, “crazy bitch.” sam said sarcastically at him as all three of them left to use the balcony.

when steve walked over to the balcony, bucky looked over to see you taking to some guy wanda brought over. sam and bucky noticed that you were flirting quite well with the guy, sam scoffed pulling his friend over into the balcony and grabbing a beer and opening it. handing it back to bucky, “dude. you need to forget her, move on with someone else… if she isn’t showing any interest then fuck her.” sam pointed out about you.

“buck, he’s right. but let’s not use such hostile words. have fun, meet someone else. stop letting her lead you on buddy.” steve said to bucky as he nodded at them while grabbing his phone and preparing to make a phone call. he turned around when he pressed on his contacts to call up a friend.

when everyone else arrived, wanda made an announcement about the food and how people should get some. you walked over to see bucky sipping on the cold beer in his metal hand as you took a seat next to him. “how’s the food—s’good. did you make it?” bucky asked you which you denied since you didn’t make it.

hours later of chatting and some people drinking too much alcohol, wanda decided to do gifts which you obliged. you got up rushing to the couch with everyone following behind you. when you saw bucky still at the table, you asked if he was coming. then excusing himself to use the bathroom, you grabbed a bag and shook it see if you could what it was.

“it’s heavy and rattles… and it’s two checkers.” you said plainly making you smile drop as you thank steve as he keeps smiling. “thank you.” you said handing it back to steve in his arms as his smile drops at your action then going to pick up a different gift. it was box shaped as you went to rip open the wrapping paper, you stopped smiling when you fully saw what was in your hands.

a action figure of sam, you close your eyes and have him a stare, “wow, thanks—that action figure will help you with anything.” sam said patting your shoulders while you put the you on the table as you picked up a small wrapped box.

the next you picked up was in a bag, you opened it and saw a farmed picture of you and tony bit it was sweet because on the bottom was engraved with your intials. you looked up at tony, “thank you.” you thanked when you picked up a small wrapped box with a red bow on it.

sam looked up and told you that bucky had brought you that, you nodded opening the wrapping paper and saw it was a jewelry box. you slowly opened it and gaped at the thing that was inside, you grabbed it lacing it around your finger tips. “oh, my god. this is beautiful.” you spoke gawking at the jewelry.

when you and bucky were hanging out one day, you both passed a shop and you guys saw on the window a ring that had gems like the one your mother gave you when you were a kid. you couldn’t believe how long that time had passed and he just remembered like it wasn’t a long time that had passed.

steve looked up, “sure but can you play it on a plane?” he asked motioning towards his checkers that he had given to you.

“i can’t believe he would do that, that looks expensive.” nat said getting up and examining the jewelry in your hand as wanda does the same when sam chuckled to himself. everyone looking at his direction when he did growing confused. he looked up and looked at everyone, “remember back in one of the missions when he fell in love with that one girl and bought her that ridiculously expensive figurine.”

steve widened his eyes at sam when he just let those words out of his mouth when you turned your attention to sam. shocked from what he just said, “what did you just say?” you asked when steve leaned back in his chair grabbing a beer to see how this would all unhold. sam finally recognized his mistake and widened his brown eyes looking at steve then back at you and everyone else.

bruce furrowed his eyebrows and looked at clint for help to see what was happening but no one knew what to say. everyone stayed silent and not speaking until sam cleared his throat and inhaling slowly to try to say something else instead. it wasn’t a way to help him get a easy way out right now. “figurine.” nat scratched the back of her head and winced at sam for exposing how bucky felt.

“no. no. no. the, um, the love part?” you explained holding up your thumb and pointer finger signaling about the other part sam spoke about. sam sat up straight and started stammering at your direction but then stopped as nothing was coming out. it took you a second to realize what that meant, bucky loves you. “oh, my god!” you covered your mouth when wanda went to run your back to comfort you.

sam rubbed his forehead together, it might of been a way to stop something from happening. steve got up and grabbed a cold beer from the cooler and and gives it to you—“yeah, just drink you problems away. works for me.” a comment from clint winking at you as you sigh looking back at sam to say something else. when he doesn’t you get up and put the cold drink down and walk to the kitchen.

“wow this huge, i don’t think any of our likes will be the same. and you’re screwed.” natasha spoke getting up and patting sam on his shoulders knowing the consequences that were about to happen when bucky would enter the apartment. you stood there waiting to see what you would do in this situation, wanda got up and squealed. “this is so great, you and bucky! see, i told you!” she said to you.

you rolled your eyes at wanda’s excitement about the thought of you two getting together. of course you felt happy finally understanding his feelings for you. but you were still shocked that he would even have feeling for you. after all the little flirting, you couldn’t finally tell him how you feel. you thought it would be too much for both of you.

“well we don’t know if he actually has these feeling for you… we shouldn’t be trusting anything sam is saying—yes! vision is right, don’t trust me. let’s all forget this, this is just small, minor, petite, meh.” sam spoke when wanda glared at vision who raised his hands up and sat back down watching the females. nat went to ask you if you know about anything, “i mean, my first night training, he mentioned something about asking me out but he never did. well, wh-what else did he say? i mean, does he wanna go out with me?” you asked sitting next to steve waiting to hear from him.

“well, knowing he’s like head over heals for you. i’m guessing yeah maybe some coffee would be nice.” scott shrugged as everyone looked back at him as he spoke about that. “did anyone else know?” you asked when some heads went down, scott, clint, steve, bruce, nat and tony as he hid his head way shamefully. you widened you eyes when you saw nat looking down and slapping her in the arm slightly.

she stepped back when you did, “ow. you hit hard—why didn’t you tell me nat?” you questioned you friend while she told that bucky made her promise to not tell you. you finally got up from the couch, “i need to talk to him—he’s in the bathroom—ours.” sam and steve both said rapidly to stop you from talking to him. you walked into your room to take a quick moment for yourself.

“what are you even gonna say to him? y/n.” nat asked you walking towards you as you shrugged at her, surely not knowing what to say walking over to her and putting off the drink. “i dont know--well if you're just gonna break his heart then maybe just hold off because that can wait till tomorrow,” sam said rushing towards you and grabbing your forearm and projecting his fake love towards you. “y/n, i love you! deal with me first!” sam announced as you furrowed your eyebrows and left your apartment to go ee bucky.

sam groaned in frustration once you left, once you turned the corner to see bucky’s door, your smile faded once you saw bucky kissing some brunette, you sighed. he seemed so into that girl and you didnt want to ruin any of buckys happiness for him. it pained you deeply to see some girl with the one person that you might actually were meant to be. 

you turn around quickly and run back to your apartment and shut the door immediately and fall back on the door blowing the hair out of your face. wanda goes over, “what happened?—he, uh, h-he was kissing and h-holding.” you stammered losing your breath from the running you did as they all grew confused with you. the next thing they heard was a knock on the door as you jump back getting startled.

“hey… it’s me bucky. can you let me in.” you close your eyes before sighing and opening the door to see bucky and the brunette from before hands on her waist as they all looked at them, shock throughout their faces as you coughed so that they wouldn’t stare anymore. “who’s this buck?” steve asked waiting for bucky, “this is laila, laila these are my friends and y/n.” you stepped back not understanding why he was leave you out like that.

“well this so fun. just peachy, you thirsty?” you taunted but not enough to make sure some one noticed, you grabbed a wine bottle and pours red wine onto a glass to help yourself. she refused your offer while getting closer to him as you say everyone looking at you with sympathy. you shook your head while speaking up. “you know it’s getting late. i have work tomorrow, i am just gonna head to bed—this has been so much fun.” you laughed at them.

you closed your eyes as sam went to grab the glass of wine as you stopped him and grabbed the whole bottle to do what clint had suggested from before. you heard everyone telling you to stay but you couldn’t bear look at bucky any different now.

you went to your room, shutting the door as you put the bottle on your desk and plopped onto your bed sighing for the millionth time. it would take you awhile to get used to something like this.

[jeongvision]

unconditional love

synopsis. if you were to ask yourself, ‘when did you realize that you were in love with lee jeno?’, you wouldn’t know how to respond. in fact, there was never a moment where you weren’t in love with him. but what happens when he asks you the same question? you might have to take a rain check, literally.

pairing. best friend! lee jeno ✗ fem! reader

genre. fluff, humor, childhood friends au, friends to lovers au

word count. 1.6k

warnings. none! but highkey though this made me fall in love with jeno :(

song. walking in the rain by chancellor & younha

author’s note. happy birthday @sehunniepotwrites​!​ not sure if this is fluffy enough for you but hope you enjoy this lil blurb! cheers to another one of your milestones and many more in life!

ps. there are two lines in this fic that are from a poem written by e.e. cummings! not going to say which ones or the title of the poem bc it might spoil future plans i have oop

You were one of the few fortunate people on the planet to still be friends with someone from your childhood. To have so many worthwhile memories shared with someone must be cherished at all cost. And many times were you afraid that Jeno might get tired of being friends with you, but being the ethereal person he is, he casted all your worries away and assured you that he had no plans on leaving you any time soon.

And perhaps somewhere down the line, the love you had for him went far beyond what people would label as ‘friendship,’ and dared enough to say, you were in love with him. If a stranger were to describe how you looked whenever you were with him, many would describe you to be enamored.

And if you happened to be enamored for your childhood friend, then so be it.

You fear no fate, for he is your fate, your sweet.

“Can I ask you something, y/n?”

Currently, you two are sat outside of a café near your home: 7 Dreams. It was a beautiful day out, the sun warming the air around you, flutters of clouds scattered throughout the blue sky. You expressed your desires to Jeno earlier that you wanted to sit out on the tables they placed outside their shop. It has been a little chilly from the past few days with occasional rain showers here and there, and you want nothing more than to relish in the warm weather after days of being forced into the solitude of your home.

“Sure. What is it?”

But before you could take a sip of your green tea latte, you’re thrown off by his question.

“When did you first fall in love with me?”

Your fingers stilled at the ceramic handle of your mug. You didn’t know what brought that question to the latter’s mind. Granted, you two have had your fair shares of flirtations and courtship, but never acted beyond past it. It was all done with jest, as you two would put it. You could easily lie to him, saying that you only saw him as a friend, but never to yourself; your heart betrays you with palpitations and inclinations for your best friend from just the mere thought of him.

You forced a stoic expression on your face.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He huffs out a breath from your response.

“Y/n, there’s no point in trying to hide it. I’ve known you for almost my whole life, so I know when you’re lying to me. The look you give me is different from how you looked at Johnny when you two were together.”

A snort escapes from your lips.

“And what does my ex have to do with this?” You could see a teasing grin poke through his demeanor, prompting an eye roll from you.

“So you admit that you do look at me differently then.”

“No, Jeno, I am not admitting to anything. And even if I did look at you differently, how would you know if I was in love with you?”

“Because you would’ve denied it by now. And right now, you’re just stepping around the question.”

You squint your eyes a little, to which Jeno does the same back.

“Oh, so I’m the bad guy now? How about when I asked you for the name of the person you liked a couple years back?”

And so, his eyebrows rise a little at your bold question, head tilted a little to the side.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he counters.

You couldn’t help but let out an incredulous laugh, your head shaking from disbelief.

“Oh, don’t fake naivety, Jeno. Senior prom, when we were each other’s date because you ‘didn’t receive any prom-posals from anyone’, when I knew fully well that you received many of them from both guys AND girls. You just denied them all.”

You could clearly play the memory out in the back of your head, a movie projector showcasing your youthful-self slow dancing with a bashful Jeno in the middle of the dance floor, your arms wrapped his neck and his hands on your waist. Both of your feet moved in sync with one another, eyes searching within the depths of each other’s soul, oblivious of the whispers and stares around you that spoke nothing short but envy for the sight that laid before them is one worth capturing.

“We were dancing to Hearts Don’t Break Around Here. You know, the one by Ed Sheeran?” you followed.

His smile grows fond at the memory of it.

“Oh, we’re in love, aren’t we?”

“Jeno!” You give a light slap on his forearm and he laughs at your response. “Now is not the time to start saying song lyrics!”

It’s a wonder how you managed to last this long from professing your feelings out to him. You two did almost everything together and experienced many firsts together. First road trip together, first beach date together - you even experienced your first pet purchase together. So what’s stopping you from confessing to him?

“Look, what I’m trying to say is that I have a feeling that you’re in love with me,” you said.

There’s a glint in his eyes filled with mirth.

“And how can you be so sure?”

“Because of the way you look at me?”

“And it’s the same way as how you look at me?”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure.”

“So you admit that you’re in love with me.”

Before you could continue on with your playful banter, you stopped yourself short. You take a moment to process his words in. Wait, did he just? Your words get caught in your throat. Did he just admit that he feels the same way towards me?

He notices your shock and uses this moment to his advantage to continue on, each word laced with certainty.

“If you’re saying that the way you look at me is the same as how I look at you, then that means that you are in love with me, because I don’t know how else to say that I am very much in love with you, y/n.”

Heat resonates all throughout your body. Your heart beats erratically and you’re at loss of words. Flustered you are, but who wouldn’t be? For years, you’ve pinned after your best friend, hoping for the day to come where he reciprocates your feelings. You had an inkling that he had some sort of romantic feelings for you as he always seemed to reject everyone’s relationship proposal, justifying his reasoning to be that there’s already someone he likes.

“Who is it?”

“An angel.”

“What’s their name?”

“Something pretty.”

“Jeno.”

“Y/n.”

And you just drop the conversation like that, frustrated by his vague answers. But nevertheless, you could never get tired of him. Something about him gravitates you towards him, the feelings you’ve harbored in secrecy burning brighter than ever whenever you’re by his side. He’s not perfect, but to you, he’s the best thing to appear in your life. From the crinkling of his eyes to the sweet smiles of his lips to the red tint of his neck and ears.

You want no world, for he is your entire world, your true.

“Look, it’s raining.”

Breaking out of your reverie, you look up to Jeno to see him peering out on the streets. You follow suit to see raindrops falling onto the pavement. It slowly gains momentum, growing heavier and louder with each passing second. Fortunately, you two are shielded from the rain with the veranda attached to the cafe. The sun peaks through the crevices of the clouds, still lighting the world around you with a subtle rainbow blossoming up into the spring sky.

You hear Jeno let out a laugh, bringing your attention back to him. There’s a wistful smile on his face when he asks you, “Remember when we were little, we would always run out in the rain on the concrete and just jump around? Pretend that we were in some kind of movie?”

You mirror his expression, your mind replaying a distant memory you shared with him.

“Our parents would always yell at us for that, saying we’ll get sick if we don’t stop.”

Your gaze trails back out onto the pavements. Then, you felt an itch in your fingers, an itch in your feet. Not literally, but you have this sudden urge to move. To dance. To celebrate. To relive those moments once more.

It’s almost as if the stars were aligned at that moment and heard your wishes, because you see Jeno get up from his seat and take a step forward and immerse himself out into the rain. His entire figure instantly gets drenched from the falling raindrops, not caring for a single second that he might catch a cold from his actions. Before you could call out to him, he looks back at you with a grin, and perhaps it might be your most favorite accessory he wears on himself.

He offers his hand out to you.

“May I have this dance, ma chérie?”

You’re taken back to the same distant memory again. Every single time, without fail, young Jeno would always ask for your hand to dance with him under the rain, to which you would always oblige with, “Well, of course mon cher.” But this time, you decide to switch it up a little.

You stand up from your seat and step closer to your best friend, a push away from falling victim to the rain with him. Your pupil flourishes with adoration for the man that stands before you.

“Only if you hold onto my hand, mon cher.”

He raises an eyebrow at your proposition. Amused he is, for there is a sliver of smirk adorned on his lips.

“Is that a threat, ma chérie?”

If Jeno were to ask you again when you first fell in love with him...

“It’s an invitation, mon cher.”

… you would say that you were always in love with him.

“If it’s like that, then I’d never let you go.”

[vdlest]

My Lady

Characters:

Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary:

It is Tony's birthday party and everyone's required to wear their best formal attire, and when you did, you caught the attention of James Buchanan Barnes.

Warning:

None

You take a look at yourself in the mirror one last time before you make your way downstairs for Tony's birthday party.

You stared at your reflection. You are wearing a black halter neck satin long dress with high slit, approved by Wanda and Nat. You're still unsure if it fits you since it's not your thing to wear this kind of outfit, but for the sake of Tony's birthday party you have no choice but to endure it.

"Come on, y/n, you've been up here for quite a while now! You're missing the fun down there," Wanda said as soon as she entered your room.

You grabbed your clutch and go after Wanda.

The moment the elevator stopped in the floor where the party is, you asked Wanda one last time about your look.

She faced you and held you on both of your arms, "You're perfect! You should wear outfits like that more often," she said.

You groaned, "It's not as if I could wear this in a mission," you joked.

The elevator opened and Wanda went up walking ahead of you. You stepped out of the elevator and you immediately roamed your eyes around the party.

You saw your friends mingling around with other guests. Tony and Pepper are talking with Fury and Maria, while Nat and Bruce are in the bar area talking, more like flirting. Your eyes continue to roam around until you saw a familiar pair of blue eyes.

He looks dashing in that tuxedo he's wearing, his hair look so neat, his beard is gone and he is so cleaned up. You never thought he'd follow the advice you gave him when he asked you about what shall he do for Tony's party. You told him that he should get rid of his beard just for this night, and he did.

Before he set his eyes on you, you saw him having a conversation with Sam and Steve but the moment he saw you, his eyes never left yours.

You and Bucky has always been friends, but you are both aware that you like each other more than that.

You walked your way to the party without removing your eyes from him, and he did the same thing. His gaze is following you, wherever you go and whatever you'll do. It's not long enough when Sam and Steve noticed that Bucky is not paying attention to both of them anymore. So when they saw that it was you who made their friend drift away from them, they gave Bucky a chance to talk and approach you.

But before he could do that, Pepper saw you.

"Y/n! Wow! You look amazing," Pepper said as she make her way to approach you, alongside with Tony, Fury, and Maria.

"I didn't see that in your old closet. Wow!" you don't know if the the birthday boy, Tony Stark, is mocking you or he's just being himself, "I bet a lot of guys will make a move on you tonight." he added.

Tony hated the idea of men being so fond of you because he knows how Bucky will react about it. Last time, he and Steve needed to call for glass and floor replacement after Bucky's outburst.

Well, you don't care about those guys, who you care about is the man you were having staring contest with a few seconds ago.

"But seriously, you look amazing, y/n," Pepper said as she gave your arms a light squeeze.

You smiled at her, "Thanks Pep!" Then you turn to Tony, who you haven't greeted yet, "Happy birthday Tony."

"Thanks! But you should start making your way to Nat and Bruce who's been flirting around since the party started," he commented as he points his finger towards the bar area.

You left Tony, Pepper, Fury, and Maria, making your way to Bruce and Nat.

"You know, Tony has been complaning about the two of you flirting and flirting nonstop," you made your presence noticed as you sit on the stool beside Nat.

Nat and Bruce turned to you.

"Woah! What a transformation, y/n," Nat said as soon as she turned the stool that she is sitting on to face you.

You rolled your eyes at her and asks for the bartender for a drink.

"Why don't you use this night to have your heart to heart confession with the white wolf?" Nat asked you, referring to you and Bucky.

You glared at her and reminded her that Bruce can also hear her, "Thanks for the advice, but no."

You and Bucky has been going around the bush for quite some time now, you are aware that everybody is starting to notice that. Not to mention whenever Bucky is being an old man whenever he will see other guys talking to you. And you are completely agitated when you see girls are trying to flirt with him.

"Come on!" Nat groaned, "Everybody's aware of you and Bucky's "hidden feelings that is not so hidden" for each other," she added.

You're about to answer Nat's sentiments when Bruce decided to side with her as well, "We are all aware of it since the first time we saw how furious Bucky was when you and that intern from Stark Industries asked you on a date. He almost break the window for checking if you got home already," he said as he took a glance at you, "And you were also like the female version of my green monster friend whenever girls will approach Bucky and ask to take a picture with him."

You can't believe Nat and Bruce are teaming up against you.

"You guys are unbelievable," you turned to the bartender when your drink arrived, but you noticed that it isn't the drink you ordered, "Excuse me, I did not order for this one."

The bartender is not bothered by your complain, so when you're about to ask the bartender to change your order, someone spoke behind you.

"You're not allowed to drink any alcoholic beverage tonight," you heard that familiar voice.

You take a look at Nat and Bruce who are giving you an ear-to-ear smile.

(Yeah, that kind of smile.)

You took a deep breath as you spin your stool and face the man who forbids you to drink an alcoholic drink, "And may I know why?" you asked the blue-eyed dashing man in front of you, the Bucky Barnes.

"Because," he took a step closer to you as he rest his arms on the bar countertop while facing you, "The last time you had one, I needed to clean up the mess you've made from the elevator up to your room."

The night he was referring to was during Pepper and Tony's engagement party. You're so happy for them to the point that you and Wanda became the number one customers of the bar that night.

"We'll leave the two of you," you heard Bruce said behind you.

Bucky moved to the seat where Nat was sitting a few moments ago.

"Why are you here?" you asked him as you turn your seat around again to face him, "You were having a conversation with Sam and Steve and just because you saw me, you left them. I mist say, I'm flattered but..."

"You look perfect," he said, stopping you from finishing your sentence.

Your eyes met his gaze again and your heart started to pump as fast as it could, you thought you were having a heart attack but you realized that it's the effect of Bucky being near you.

You felt his gand grabbed yours and that delivered an electric shock through your veins, "I should've brought my gun, so when guys try to make a move on you, I will just shot them right through their eyes."

He was just kidding but you felt how concern and protective he is to you.

You liked that feeling. No, you actually love that feeling — whenever you see him ready to rip off any man's head when they are making a move towards you, whenever you feel his care when you are not in your usual mood, whenever you are not in a good state of mind, he's there for you.

It makes you happy, but it also makes you sad, knowing that you have no idea what kind of relationship you both have. You want to become selfish when girls are trying to flirt with Bucky, but after every time you call them out, you kept on thinking what is your right to stop and forbid them from flirting with him.

"Buck," you called him and then you sighed, "I know this isn't the right time to talk about this, but I'm already sick and tired of hearing the same old question that is being thrown upon me that I can't even answer even in my mind."

His brows furrowed, "What question?" he asked.

"The what's with you and me. The what are you and Bucky question. The are you guys together kind of question. 'Cause honestly, I'm tired of hearing it from our friends, and I hate to admit it but that's also the same question I have for us," you looked down as you feel embarrassed of the things you are telling him. You sounded like a needy girl who wants to know what you are in this boy's life, "I'm sorry to bring this all up right now, but I can't help it."

When you looked up to him, he was just staring at you, which pisses you off a bit.

"Come on, Bucky. Stop acting like you don't know what I am talking about." you kept your voice calm and low since you don't want to be noticed by the other guests around you, "I am certain about my feelings, but you, I have no idea what's going on in your mind. You take care of me. You feel responsible for me. You hate it when I wear too revealing clothes. You don't like the idea of me going out with other men. Tony, Nat, Bruce, and the rest of our friends kept on telling me that I'm hell of a lucky woman for catching your eyes, but they have no idea how confusing my position is. I have no idea who and what I am to you."

You were stunned by your own words. You did not see yourself exploding tonight. You feel embarrassed of all the unexpected things you bantered to Bucky, you decided to walk away from him.

You have no where else to pass by but the dance floor. You excused yourself from the people dancing, but you were in the middle of the dancefloor when you felt a hand on your wrist.

As you turn around to face the owner of the hand who grabbed your wrist, you realized that it is a vibranium hand and the only person who have that kind of left hand is the person you walked away from.

Your eyes trailed from your wrist up to Bucky's face.

"So you're just gonna leave me hanging?" he suddenly asked you.

You clicked your tongue and shook your head, "Bucky, I'm sorry for my sudden outburst, okay? Just forget everything that I said," you were about to walk away again when he suddenly pulled you towards him and claim your lips with his.

You lost your senses the moment his lips dance with your lips. You know that people are noticing both of you, especially you are in the middle of the dancefloor but you didn't care. You thought that this is the best answer they'll get to all the unanswered questions they've given you for the past months about you and Bucky.

When he let go of your lips, he cupped your face and you received the most unexpected answer from him.

"I love you," he said in the passionate way he could.

All you need is a straight answer from him, but what he gave you is much much more than that.

"I've realized this a long time ago. I just didn't know how to tell you. I can't find the right words to tell you this. I don't know how to tell you my feelings without being a dumb douchebag, but even if I look like a dumb douchebag right now, I don't care. All I care is you being aware of how I truly feel for you, and I'm sorry if it took some time before I could finally say it," he said while his hands are still in your cheeks.

Now you realized why you clearly heard every word he said, the music stopped and everyone's attention is with both of you. In short, they all heard Bucky's confession.

You roamed your eyes around and you see all of the guests, including your friends, watching and staring at you and Bucky, like you are the main attraction in the circus or something.

"Now is the perfect time for you to say something," you heard Bucky said, making you look at him again.

You smiled at him as you grabbed his two hands from your cheeks.

"I love you too," you finally said it.

He didn't wait for anything, he pulled you towards him and gave you another kiss. Not long enough, you felt his arms around you, giving you the warmest hug he could ever give.

You heard people around you cheering for both of you. They've been waiting for this, but little did they know, you were also waiting for this for a long time now.

"About dang time!" you heard Sam yelled.

"Oh come on, it's not as if we didn't expect them to do this anytime soon," Tony being a jerk as always, but you know he's happy for you and Bucky, "Don't forget it's my birthday!" he joked.

When Bucky let go of you, he extended his hand towards you, "My lady?" he asked, waiting for you to give your hand to him.

You smiled at him as you gave your hand to him, "My love."

-v.dl

[mooshys]

take-out menus aren’t meant for ordering

genre: fluff

word count: 1.5k

synopsis: a slight character study for miya atsumu between a conversation with his brother and the writing of his vows. the word “slight” being underlined, highlighted, and circled multiple times.

There is a take-out menu laying on the empty counter of Onigiri Miya, spread out completely flat so that it is no longer in its trifold state. The paper has a nice gloss to it, giving an even sheen when underneath the low lights. Its pages are filled with professional pictures of the food offered, appetizing from a single glance and even more-so with the descriptions added underneath them.

But, sitting at the counter and staring at the empty spaces on the page, Atsumu isn’t looking to order. At this point in time, he’s too frustrated to even think about eating. He makes sure his struggle is known, groaning just loud enough so that his brother can hear him.

And, by the fifth prolonged sigh, his brother notices.

Osamu thinks it’s annoying. Really annoying. He wonders why his brother always decides to settle all his baggage into his restaurant instead of actually finding guidance from a trained professional.

(Free therapy, he thinks. He should give himself a raise for having to deal with his brother when he’s working behind the counter.)

“What’s the matter, ‘Tsumu?” Osamu finally asks in an attempt to get his brother to stop making his restaurant feel so gloomy. He’s glad it’s only the two of them during the odd hour because he’s sure Atsumu would have driven people out with his attitude.

Atsumu exhales, so deep and long that one might think he has some sort of pre-existing health condition. His pause before speaking makes Osamu think he’s preparing a soliloquy. 

“I can’t think of anything to write.”

Osamu raises a brow. Then he chuckles. “Can’t do much of that if you don’t have a brain to start with.”

He quickly dodges a pair of wooden chopsticks thrown in his direction and laughs as his brother seethes in his seat. Predictable as always. He didn’t even need to rely on his twin telepathy to know Atsumu’s next move.

“This is serious!” Atsumu yells out. His voice echoes and Osamu puts on his Totally Serious Face to show his brother that he does cares (at least a smidgeon). “The vows. I can’t think of anything to write for ‘em.”

Now, Osamu stares at him with more interest, a twinkle in his eyes that gleams only for a second before he throws his head back to give out a hearty laugh. It’s the kind of laugh Osamu does when he’s really, really happy. Like when the entire Inarizaki crew surprised him for his birthday by buying him out for the night, or when he won two thousand yen from the lottery. While Atsumu sits in disbelief (because was his suffering truly that hilarious?), Osamu shakes his head to compose himself again.

“C’mon, it shouldn’t be too hard to come up with something,” Osamu says. He points to a blank space on the first page. “Start it off right next to the tuna onigiri, that’s real romantic when you say your vows with our number one seller in mind.”

Atsumu groans again. How can he be joking at a time like this? When it feels like his life (his love life, that is) is at stake? He was about to yell out a slew of vulgar words, but his stomach interrupted him, choosing to speak up with a loud grumble. Red in the face, Atsumu shuts up, shrinking in his seat under the gaze of his brother.

“No wonder your brain capacity’s lower than usual,” Osamu teases. “You’re hungry.”

“Whatever.”

“The usual?”

“...Whatever.”

Osamu rolls his eyes. “Quit actin’ like a baby.”

“I’m not actin’ like a baby!” Atsumu cries out in a manner that reminds Osamu of a baby. “I can’t keep puttin’ this off! In a week, I’ll have to say this in front of everyone and they’re gonna think I’m an idiot because I can’t come up with anything good!”

“Trust me, nobody’s gonna think you’re an idiot at your wedding because of your vows,” he replies and bites his tongue to suppress the insult following. “If you write it too deep and poetic and pretty, then everyone’s gonna think you hired someone or that you copied it off the internet.”

“But—”

“Trust me,” Osamu repeats. He doesn’t look up as he molds the rice in his hands, creating a triangular shape. Years of practice have allowed him to do it so easily, so perfectly that Atsumu can’t help but stare. “Say the things that come easy for you. The things you’ve said before and the things you’ve been meaning to say. That’s what you should write.”

With the exception of the sound of tuna searing in the back and the occasional drip from the faucet nearby, there is a serene quietness shared between the two. Atsumu mulls over his brother’s words, thinking that it honestly sounds like advice that you would have given him, but he brushes it off and then looks back at the blank spaces in the take-out menu. The empty spots are almost inviting him to scribble all over.

“Alright,” Atsumu says as he clicks the pen in his hand and starts jotting any and all thoughts. “Think she’ll be mad I wrote my vows on a menu?”

Osamu chuckles as he places the plate of onigiri in front of his brother.

“Absolutely not.”

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

There are two take-out menus stored in a little box hidden in the bottom drawer of your dresser. The paper for both of them are wrinkled and yellowing, a clear testament of the time that has passed since first exchanging them. Scribbles of ink take up the empty spaces, the words uneven and crossed out and misspelled after multiple attempts to write from the heart.

At times, you find them in the midst of cleaning or a sudden remembrance whilst watching a film. The box is dug out from the neatly folded shirts and shorts meant to be worn in the upcoming summer season, and, upon lifting the lid in one gracious motion, the vows are always there, waiting to be read again and again. Each time, something new pops up, strikes you with a “I can’t believe I didn’t notice that!” moment as your fingers gently trace over his words.

Sometimes it’s the slight change in ink color when it comes to your name, an indication of the writing becoming lighter. (A pause in thought? Whenever you asked him, he would scratch the back of his head and shrug his shoulders.) Others, it’s the way entire lines are crossed out because he kept misspelling the same word multiple times.

Very Atsumu-ish, you muse with a silent chuckle. 

Atsumu-ish. Because the words erratic and unorthodox and lively and everything in-between just aren’t enough to describe his entire being, so Atsumu-ish became the one true representative of whatever he had up his sleeve.

(It started as a joke between you and Osamu wanting to tease Atsumu when he was being outlandish, but then it spread to the rest of the circle and was kept as Official Inarizaki Alumni Vocabulary when Kita mumbled “Atsumu-ish” without a hint of jest in his voice, completely serious about its usage.

“Atsumu-ish,” he pondered loud enough so that the rest of the guys could hear him. “I’ve never thought about it like that, but I guess you’re right.”

And it stuck with everyone else, causing Atsumu to sulk about it for five whole minutes as he whined and groaned about “Osamu-ish” and “Suna-ish” not being a thing to which Kita gave a straight answer: they’re not you. His truthfulness made Atsumu slump in his seat until you squeezed his hand from under the table and whispered that his name just rang in a special way.

He liked the sound of that and straightened his back when you teased him about it again.)

Atsumu-ish, Atsumu-ish, Atsumu-ish.

At this point, you had repeated it in your mind so many times that it started to sound a bit weird. His name echoes once more, making you pause as you stare at the old take-out menus. It did start to sound a bit strange now, but you most certainly aren’t sick of it.

(You don’t think his name would ever tire you out. Decades, centuries, millenniums, and through whatever multitude of lifetimes the universe has to offer, you think that you’ll always hold the way his name sounds close for comfort, like a seashell pressed against your ear.)

When you read through his words, you can tell he put a lot of time into writing what really matters to him. He’s always been one to say the first thing that pops in his mind (brash and honest to a fault), but seeing that struggle for the right string of words, for the right day, and for the right moment in time just reminds you that he’s always been the kind of person who says the things he does because he cares. 

His words are a little blunt, almost unrefined, but it’s so easy to see how he wanted his vows to be perfect. Perfect in the Miya Atsumu kind of way. 

And only Miya Atsumu would write his vows on the take-out menu of his brother’s restaurant.

Atsumu-ish, you think again with a chuckle as you admire the two take-out menus—from the same place, a coincidence that makes you laugh at the thought of his brother dealing with you two separately. Both are a little bit worn, but the words are easy to read. 

Easy to love.

Much like himself.

[mggssocks]

Followed

Not My Gif!

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid

Content Warnings: None just fluff :)

Summary: Spencer makes an Instagram and stumbles across reader’s page.

Word Count: 1,899 words

A/N: This is Season 10 Spencer with Season 13 looks. Also, instead of it being Kate on the team, i put Emily instead because who doesn’t love the season 3-7 team? Also I might make a part 2 depending on how much this blows up. Honestly i’d be happy if i got one like. Anyways.. hope you enjoy!!!

masterlist // part 2 // part 3

It was 8:00 in the morning. Spencer walked in the doors of the bullpen to the bau. He sat his satchel down and began to settle in for a long day of work. It was pretty early so the team wasn’t in yet. Except for Aaron Hotchner who had gotten in an hour prior to Spencer and been in his office ever since. Apparently others had the same ‘get to work early’ mindset as Spencer. Spencer opened a case file but his attention was quickly whipped away due to the sound of the door opening. He sees Penelope Garcia with all her attention focused on her phone. Spencer quirked his eyebrows when she bumped into a fellow coworker and her attention remained on her phone while quickly mumbling a quick “sorry���. As she passed his desk, Spencer decided it would be the great time to speak. 

“Hey, Garcia.” Her feet came to a stop and her head snapped up at him. 

“Boy wonder! I’m so glad you’re here. I really need someone to talk to because if I don’t I’m going to explode!” She sits in the chair across from his desk. 

“Is everything alright?” He leaned back in his chair. 

“No… no everything is not alright. If anything.. everything is all wrong. Very very wrong. I-“ she takes in a deep breath “I was stalking Kevin’s page because the other day I seen him at the mall with another girl. And while I was 56 weeks down in his page, I accidentally liked a picture.” She explained, in a huff. 

“I’m afraid I don’t follow.” Spencer was even more confused now than before she started. 

“I liked a picture that he posted 56 weeks ago!” Her eyes were wide.

“How is that a bad thing?” His lips pouted as he’d never understand social media. 

“Ugh! Reid, you really need to get with the program and get you an Instagram. That means his picture was old and now he knows that I was looking at his page. You understand now?” She asked. 

“Oh. Yeah I understand. It’s bad that he knows you were looking at his page.” He asked as Prentiss, JJ, and Morgan had walked in. 

“Yes. And now I must go into the bat cave and wait for him to call or text me and ask what me lurking on his page was about.” She whined as she stomped her way to her office. 

“What was that about?” Prentiss asked, setting her bags down on her desk. 

“Uhh- rough morning” Spencer shrugged, still not really understanding the whole social media thing. 

“Hey do you guys have an Instagram?” He asked the three. 

“Yeah but I’m barely on it.” Prentiss answered.

“Same here” says Morgan as he takes a seat at his desk. 

“Yeah but I only get on to post the boys and myself sometimes” answers JJ. 

“What about Hotch and Rossi?” He asked.

“Yup! Rossi likes to post about his expensive wine and cigars. Hotch posts Jack every once in a while and a throwback Thursday.” JJ says. 

Spencer’s eyebrows furrowed for what seems to be the 100th time that day. 

“He doesn’t know what that is” Prentiss looks over to JJ.

“It’s something you post like an old picture of yourself every Thursday.” Morgan explains.

“Do you guys do that?” Spencer asked.

“I did last Thursday.” JJ pulls out her phone and opened the app. “This was right after Emily, Penelope, and I caught a guy who was trying to pick up Prentiss by pretending to be an FBI agent a few years ago.” She chuckled showing him a picture. 

Spencer takes her phone in his hand and examines the post. 142 likes. 57 comments. He clicks on her name which takes it to her page. 302 followers. As he scrolls, he sees a picture the team took a while ago and sees a little person profile thing the corner and clicks on it causing other names tagged to each individual team member. Except him. After he examined all of their profiles, he gives JJ back her phone and gets to work like the rest of them. He felt a little left out but he knew it was because of his own decisions and not his team. He liked that they didn’t press him about having a social media because they new he was more old school than anything. And it was ironic because he wastage youngest member of the team with the more old school habits. 

When Spencer got home he decided he wanted the social media app. The idea of being able to share with his friends and only his friends excited him. Being able to post about his favorite things for his friends to see without talking their ears off.

He opened his phone and went to the app store, typing “instagram” into the search bar. He followed the sites instructions as he made his account. Using a snapshot he took of his bookshelf as his profile picture. He sees the option to add the people in his contact list which was only his team, mom, and his mother’s caretaker. But everyone’s profile popped up and he quickly followed each and every one of them. Except for his mom and her caretaker of course. 

Soon enough, he got a follow back from Garcia, Hotch, Rossi, and JJ in that order. Morgan and Prentiss weren’t lying when they said they weren’t on often.

After two weeks, Spencer hasn’t posted anything yet, not knowing what should go on his profile. Morgan and Prentiss ended up following him back and the app ended up adjusting to his interests. Nothing but accounts about interesting facts, books, and doctor who. 

It was Friday night and the team had just got back from a case in Chicago. Spencer opened the door to his apartment and set his satchel down on the couch, exhausted. His mind wonders to get something to eat being that he wonders to get something to eat being that he hasn’t ate since before they caught the unsub. Which was about 5 hours and 7 minutes ago but he still needed to get something into his system. Spencer opened his fridge and sees 3 day old Chinese takeout. He shrugs and pops it into the microwave while looking for a book of his to reread while he eats. After he finishes dinner, he gets on his phone and subconsciously pulls up the app. He clicks onto his explore page to discover something else he likes. While scrolling, he sees a picture of someone reading and clicks on it.

765 likes

Yourfriend’sig whenever people ask me what to give you for your birthday or Christmas, I always tell them to get you a book or something green and it works every single time. Happy Birthday to my best buddy, @yourinstagram !

View all 84 comments

Spencer smiles and clicks the heart button and bookmarks it to look at later.  He liked the picture. Both the picture and caption reminded him a lot of his own love for books and the color green (hence his apartment). 

Once he got out of the shower, he brushed his teeth. He found himself subconsciously scrolling through his instagram bookmarks to find her post. He doesn’t know what it was but something about the picture brought comfort to him. As he brushed his teeth, he clicked on the post once again.This time, he actually clicked on your account. It was a private account with 186 followers. The bio read:

Y/N... bookworm.

Her profile picture consisted of a black cat surrounded by either a bunch of well taken care of plants or artificial ones. His finger hovered over the blue “follow” button. As he bent down to spit his toothpaste out, his thumb accidentally clicked the follow button. But he didn't realize so until he looked down again to see the “follow” button replaced with “requested”. His heart basically drops out of his ass. He quickly clicks the button again, taking back his follow. 

It was now one in the morning, Spencer laid in bed awake staring at his ceiling. Once again, he clicks onto the app. He scrolled down his timeline and saw a picture Penelope posted of one of her new desk animals with the caption “Got her at a thrift shop! Isn’t she cute??”. He saw that Hotch and JJ liked 45 other people. JJ also commented with two red hearts. Spencer likes the post and keeps scrolling. His thoughts wander to the post about the girl again. He’s never thought about a social media post this much since he’s created an account. He wonders what sparked his interest so much about this one. As he makes his way to the post, clicking on her account. Debating if he should follow her. She’s a total stranger. Do the others follow strangers? There’s no way JJ knows 302 people in real life. He mentally shrugs and presses the follow button. Requested. Again.

He swipes out of her account back onto the post now seeing that she commented on it.

yourinstagram thank you, bubs! ily to the moon n back <3333

It was commented thirty six seconds ago. Meaning she’s currently active. Again, Spencer’s heart sinks and he immediately regrets his decision. Going back and unfollowing her. He doesn’t know what to do with himself. He’s a mess. Over a stranger. But he feels like an idiot. Reacting the way that he did just because he saw that she was online. So he goes and follows her.... again.

After clearing out all of his apps, he turns off his phone and lays down trying to get some sleep before work in a few hours. His thoughts wander to her. What she was like. if she was nice or mean. If she was socially awkward or very outgoing. Before his thoughts could get too far into what she was like, he receives a notification from instagram. He opens his phone and clicks on the notification. His heart began to pound when he saw it.

yourinstagram would like to send you a message! 

He clicks on it.

yourinstagram You’ve followed and unfollowed me about 5 times in the past 3 hours. Is there something I can help you with?

Spencer completely forgot that other people got notifications and now he felt like some kind of creep.

spencerreid I’m sorry. I came across your friend’s Instagram post wishing you a happy birthday and i guess i got curious and wanted to follow you if that makes any sense. 

He felt so dumb. 

yourinstagram and following me once wasn’t enough for some reason???

spencerreid Sorry about that. I’m new to this whole social media thing and don’t follow any strangers. You are the first person I’m following that I don’t know in real life. Again, my apologies for the disturbance. I’ll unfollow you’re account If you’re uncomfortable with me. 

yourinstagram i just hope that you’re not one of my raging exes, someone trying to catfish me, or a psychopath lol.

Spencer smiled.

spencerreid Nope. Just me.

She leaves him one read. Spencer’s smile fades when he doesn’t see any three loading dots. She wasn’t texting him back. As he’s about to exit the app, he sees two notifications. 

yourinstagram has accepted your follow request!

yourinstagram has requested to follow you.

********

I hoped you like this!!! If this blows up,i will do another chapter!

[natromanxoff]

11 - Van Halen...

Hi there one and all.

Can I first start by saying farewell to Cozy. I've known him for about fifteen years and would not say he was a close friend or anything, but whenever we caught up with each other there was always time for a beer and chat. He was an A1 guy and will be greatly missed as a person and as a brilliant drummer. When John Bonham died he left the crown for the best rock drummer to Cozy, and I can't think of anyone worthy enough to take over. When Bonzo died we were doing a show at Madison Square Gardens, and as they were going into Champions Fred said, "This one's for John Bonham." The place erupted. If that's Bonzo's song, then I think Cozy should inherit We Will Rock You, because he was THE best rock drummer.

My social life has been quite hectic again. Caught up with Status Quo when they played here recently, they're always good fun to chat with, and they still put on a decent show. Next Sunday I'm gonna see Matchbox 20. Have a listen to their album, it's really good. Last night was the all new Van Halen, and thanks to my mate Nick I had one of those wonderful VIP passes hanging round my neck. I, along with the rest of the world was curious to know what Gary Cherone was going to be like. Brilliant. This has to be the best VH line up yet. The show was being filmed by MTV, so if you see it and the camera pans around to the sound desk, just look for the best looking guy in the building and that'll be me, standing next to him.

Anyway, back to VH. They are still a great rock band, a great live act and great musicians, and I still hate drum solo's. But back to Mr Cherone. We all know what he did at the Tribute, and we all know he's a huge Queen fan, and he's the closest singer to Freddie I've ever seen. His outfit, black satin shirt and flared black satin pants. I seem to remember FM wearing that around 75/76. His mic stand is the FM 'wand', except it's a lot longer. His movements are very theatrical, and dare I say camp at times, with lots of twists and turns, very Freddie. Don't get me wrong here, I'm not knocking him at all, he is an amazing showman and doesn't stop all night, even jumping into the crowd and running up the steps to the top of the arena, and then tumbling down like a stuntman. It's good rock 'n roll, so try and check them out, I don't think you'll regret it. (I've become concert reviewer all of a sudden) At times he even sounds like another singer, but I won't keep on, I'll leave it to somebody else. On the rock station, Triple M, one of the jocks this afternoon said, "He's been watching to many videos of our dear departed friend Freddie Mercury. His movements were exactly like his."

The first time I ever saw Van Halen was at a place called the Circus Krona(!) in good old Munich. I went along to see them with the curly one, and when we got there I had to instantly phone the studio and try and get Rog to come along because it was the biggest PA system I had ever seen in a place that size. When they started the intro tape it was so loud I thought my chest was gonna cave in, the bass just pinned you to your seat. Needless to say Brian was like a pig in shit. Before I tell you my little Queen story, I have to tell you about what I consider to be the best onstage patter I think I've ever heard. David Lee Roth was talking to the crowd between numbers and somebody in the crowd chucked a paper cup or something at him, he stopped talking, looked round in the general direction and said, "Hey man, you can throw what you like at me. Because tonight I'm going to f**k your chick." 20,000 people loved it, and so did I cause I still remember him saying it.

OK. We were touring the States, probably around 81/82, and we were flying to Portland. The band entourage were traveling on a wonderful private plane, and as the crew would have been in the bus for about 24 hrs we took as many as we could with us. The date was Sept.1, I remember because thats my birthday, and when we boarded the plane there was a huge cake with 'Happy Birthday Crystal' on it, and even more booze than we normally had. (Somebody must have expected something) One of the nice things about private planes is that you can make detours and the pilot flew around Mt St Helens a few times so we could see right into the crater, and it was still steaming, an amazing sight. Back to my birthday and a few of us needed some privacy, so Jim 'Mary' Devenney, Jimmy ' Idiot Boy' Barnett, Peter 'Feebie' Freestone, Roger '*******' Taylor and myself stocked up with a couple of drinks and retired to the Master Bedroom for a discussion on world politics. When the plane landed we were still a few thousand feet up in the air, legless is the best way to describe us. Hey, it was my birthday after all. We fell into the limo's and headed to the hotel, and the crew went on to theirs.

On arrival I found out that Van Halen were staying there, and they were playing that night, so I secured a few million passes and went looking for somebody to go partying with. After all it was 4pm and if I went to sleep I'd wake up feeling awful so I had to continue. RT said he was gonna crash, but Feebie and Terry were ready to go, so we said we would go to the first bar we came to. As it turned out it was a topless joint, and needless to say I was shocked and stunned, but a deals a deal. We were drinking shots of peppermint schnapps with vodka and orange chasers, very intelligent. At about 8pm we all shot off to watch VH, and they were great. After the show both bands arrange to meet in the bar at the hotel, but the bar is one of those stupid ones in the middle of the lobby. So there we are, the four Queenies, Feebie, Wally, Tunbrige, Terry and me, and the four Van Halens, all sitting around having a slurp, and VH's minders running around like headless chickens in the CIA. Outside the main doors were hundreds of fans, with a VH gorilla keeping them out, even to the point of stopping Ratty coming in. I had to argue with this moron to let one of our crew in, and he said, "If he goes anywhere near David or Eddie I'll throw him out." I could only answer with that wonderful two worded phrase starting and ending in F. Because it was like being in a fish bowl we decided to leave the bar, and everyone wandered off to various rooms to continue, the biggest bash being in Rogers suite.

At some unknown hour whilst I'm having a very pleasant conversation with a charming lady who called herself 'Naughty Nancy,' Jobby says to me, "I've been looking for you, Tunbridge wants you to call him now, it's urgent, Brians had an accident." Jobby was very drunk and I didn't know if he was serious or joking, so I phoned Tunbridges room and there was no reply. What do I do now? If Brians asleep and I wake him I'm in trouble, and if he has hurt himself and I don't call I'm still in trouble. What do I care? I'm drunk and fearless, so I phone and Tunbridge asks me to get there asap.

When I go in, Brians lying on the bed on his side, with the waste paper bin close at hand, and Tunbrige is grinning and mopping his brow with a damp cloth. Brian was mumbling stuff like "Don't let me die." (I'm sure most of us have been there at sometime or another) I probably shouldn't say this, but I had to grin, I thought it highly amusing. I got an explanation and told Tunbridge not to let him sleep on his back, and call me if there were anymore problems. I then returned to NN.

It turned out that when we all left the bar, Brian had gone to Eddie's room where they consumed huge quantities of Jack Daniels, and Brian not being a bourbon drinker, went to the toilet to worship the porcelain god, and threw up with such gusto he hit his head on the cistern, split his head open and nearly knocked himself out. The following night we played the same place VH did, and Mr May with band aid on head, played a blinder. A couple of years later, in the Rainbow in LA, I met Alex Van Halens estranged wife, and that, as they say, is another story all together.

Crystal

[prettyboybarzal]

Falling For You

Pairing: Jake DeBrusk x female!OC

Summary: Sutton Beckett is settling for an unhappy relationship, but a chance encounter with Jake changes everything. 

Word Count: 18k+

A/N: Happy birthday, JD! Here’s the fic I’ve been working on since the beginning of quarantine. It’s been fun for me to write in my free time. It’s mostly a friends to lovers story, but very much a slow burn. SLOW. BURN. (Title inspired by Fallingforyou by The 1975)

Warnings: Smut, alcohol consumption, shitty boyfriend (not Jake)

Masterlist

January 20th, 2019

Sutton Beckett was pouting into a Long Island Iced Tea in the middle of a club in Boston. Despite being surrounded by her two best friends and a sea of beautiful, smiling people, she couldn’t find it in herself to crack so much as a smirk.

“Stop moping,” her roommate, Kate, demanded. Sutton lifted her chin and caught the glare she was sending her. “You’re no fun when you’re fighting with Garrett.”

“So, she’s no fun all the time?” their other roommate, Mia, asked with a sarcastic laugh.

“I’m fun!”

“Yeah, when you’re not fixated on every little detail of every little fight you have with him.”

Sutton almost opened her mouth to argue that her roommates were wrong, but she was tired of fighting it. They were completely right. Her relationship of two years was draining her energy completely.

When she first met him, their relationship felt like a dream. He was older, so he had a well-paying job and she reaped the benefits of those paychecks. He brought her to five-star restaurants and surprised her with gifts just because. He talked about the future and his plans to buy them a house on the Cape. She loved him, she saw that future with him, but as time had gone on the vision was getting dimmer.

After they hit a year and a half, a switch flipped.

When Garrett stopped caring, she blamed it on his work, but months passed and she needed something new to blame it on. His parents’ divorce, his sister’s Bridezilla wedding planning, even the death of his childhood dog. But she knew, and her friends knew, the relationship was a disaster and her excuses weren’t good enough.

“What was the fight about tonight?”

“He didn’t like what she was wearing,” Kate answered the question before Sutton could even open her mouth. Sutton opened her mouth, no doubt to come to Garrett’s defense, but Kate warned her, “Don’t defend him.”

“I’m going to grab another drink.”

Sutton found an open space at the bar and gunned for it. But, just as she stepped into the space, someone else did the same and she nearly crashed right into the broad chest of a random man. He stopped short just before she collided into him. When she looked up at him, he spoke but the music was too loud to hear. So, he leaned down to speak into her ear.

“You can order first,” he spoke, nodding towards the bar. “I’ll wait my turn.”

The boy stood at least two steps behind her as she leaned against the bar and stood on her tippy toes to get the bartender’s attention. She was shorter than almost everyone standing at the counter and kept getting ignored as a result, so he finally took matters into his own hands and waved the bartender down.

She spotted him and made a beeline to their side of the bar, though she looked directly past Sutton and up to him.

“I’ll have a ginger whiskey,” he spoke. He extended his hand with his card right over Sutton’s shoulder. “And whatever she’s having you can put on my card, too.”

Sutton almost protested, but the moment she turned to do so, he simply shook his head and she snapped her mouth shut. She placed her order, despite herself, and turned back to the boy as the bartender went to grab the drinks.

“I have a boyfriend,” she told him. He choked on his laughter, but said nothing more as he leaned over her to grab their drinks from the counter of the bar. He handed her glass to her as she continued rambling. “I wasn’t sure if you were, like, flirting with me and I didn’t want to take advantage of you if you were.”

“I was totally flirting with you,” he admitted. Sutton’s eyebrows shot up at his honesty. “But, hey, no problem. We can just be friends, yeah?”

She eyed him skeptically because, honestly, no guys just wanted to be friends. But the smile on his face made it hard for her to believe that he had any bad intentions. He just looked kinder than most guys—soft eyes, kind smile, brown hair that was a little long and tousled like he couldn’t have been bothered to groom it himself.

“Sure, we can be friends,” she told him with a smile that mirrored his own. “What’s your name?”

“Jake,” he introduced himself as he extended his hand.

“I’m Sutton,” she responded, dropping her hand in his. His fingers, rough against her much softer and more delicate skin, curled around her hand and gave her a firm shake.

“I love your outfit,” he said, leaning back to admire the lace body suit she paired with black skinny jeans. Her hand remained in his grasp as she threw her head back with a laugh. How beautifully ironic this interaction was.

“Thank you,” she responded, shaking her head at him in amusement as they dropped each other’s hands. “Guys never compliment girls on what they wear, so thank you for being a breath of fresh air.”

“Not even what’s-his-name?”

“Who?”

“Your boyfriend.”

She laughed again before offering his name.

“Garrett.”

“Garrett,” he scoffed. He knew he was probably treading on thin ice, but he also noticed how easily the laughter was falling from her lips, so he continued. “Garrett doesn’t compliment you?”

“Not tonight,” she said, gazing down at the glass in her hands. She didn’t mean for it to come out sounding that sad, and yet. “No.”

Jake frowned as he watched her close in on herself. The laughter was gone and her eyes had gone dark and the smile on her lips was upside down, so he asked, “Do you want to dance?”

And, because the five minutes she’d been around him made her smile harder than the past six months with Garrett, she decided to say, “I’d love to.”

In the middle of the dancefloor, he spun her into his chest. His free hand fell to her hips as her arms curled around his neck to rest her elbows on his shoulders. She giggled softly again before curling her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck.

It started out innocent enough, but as the music changed so did the air between them. It wasn’t long before her back was pressed against his chest, glasses forgotten on a table a few steps away from them. His hands danced along her sides and wrapped around her waist to pull her close. 

He liked the way she laughed and the way she felt against him and he noticed that she would lull her head to the side when he leaned down to whisper in her ear. His breath tickled her neck and she reacted immediately and it turned him on. He wanted to touch her bare skin, he wanted to kiss her neck, and he wondered if he could press his luck. He reached up, brushed her hair behind her, and leaned in to place a chaste kiss against her neck.

Nothing more happened, though they danced through another few songs before he was dragged away from her to rejoin his friends. He practically begged for her phone and left his number under a contact name of Jane (“Just in case Gary sees,” he explained. “Garrett,” she corrected him.)

When she returned home that night, she jumped in the shower immediately, earning confused looks from her roommates. She told them that she just felt gross when she really just needed to wash him off her skin.

---

February 12th, 2019

“Garrett, wonderful to see you.”

“Likewise.”

Sutton laughed to herself at the sarcastic formalities exchanged between her boyfriend and Mia. It had been a few weeks since her night out with the girls and, even though Sutton and Garrett hadn’t fought since, Mia still couldn’t stand seeing him in their apartment.

“Where’s my girl?”

“Bedroom.”

Sutton heard him approaching and pulled the door open. When he stepped in, he held up a jersey and waved it in her direction.

“You can wear my Pasta jersey tonight,” he spoke. “He’s one of our best players.”

She reached out and took it from his hand, but he didn’t release it. Instead, he leaned in and puckered his lips for a kiss. She complied after mentally rolling her eyes at him. He let go of the jersey, and she slipped it on over a long sleeve shirt. “Are you excited?”

“Yeah, baby,” he answered, stepping up behind her as she check herself out in the mirror. He wound his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. “This is such a great gift.”

“I’m glad,” she said softly, thinking about all the money she’d spent on it. He better have liked it, if not only for the dent it left in her wallet.

They made it to their seats five minutes before puck drop. He spent most of their ride to the Garden talking her ear off about the team and the season they’d been having, but Sutton never cared much for sports so most of it was in one ear and out the other.

It wasn’t until the team came out for the beginning of the game that Sutton’s worlds collided. Above her head on the massive Jumbotron, Jake was smiling down at her. She gasped, hand jolting in surprise just enough to spill some beer on Garrett’s jeans.

“Sutton, what the hell?” he grunted, wiping the liquid off his leg. She muttered an apology, but her eyes were already searching the ice for the boy she’d been considering a missed connection. He stood at center ice, shuffling on his skates as the anthem played. And his number? 74. Just like the jersey Garrett was wearing.

She was flustered in the very worst way. It felt like she was barely functioning, unable to carry a conversation with Garrett because her mind was so clearly on Jake. It was made even worse whenever she caught a glimpse of his last name branded across Garrett’s back. She felt a little bit sick, and a little bit guilty, even though she didn’t really have a reason to be.

On the way back to her apartment, Garrett chattered on about the game while she stared down at her phone in her lap. It felt heavier now that she’d been reminded of the number in her phone.

He walked her up to her apartment, though she kind of hoped he’d just stay in the car, and waited for her to change out of his jersey before going. Kate began to chat with him, and Sutton made a mental note to thank her later for at least being polite.

“What are you guys going to do for Valentines?”

“Well, we just had an early Valentines’ date tonight,” he said. Sutton reentered the room at that moment, wishing she had stayed in her bedroom for a moment longer so she didn’t have to hear that. “Did you have fun, baby?”

She nodded because she genuinely thought if she opened her mouth that she would cry.

“Oh!” Kate responded. Her face was white, eyes shifting uncomfortably between her best friend and the guy who’d just crushed her spirit. “No dinner on the day of?”

Garrett offered the girls a performative pouted, dropping an arm over Sutton’s shoulders, as he responded, “I tried to get reservations at Sutton’s favorite spot, but they’re all booked up.”

“When did you try to do that?” Kate asked, eyebrows raised in shock.

“I called last weekend.”

“Garrett, it’s Valentines’ Day,” Mia grunted as she entered the room. He glared at her. “You can’t just call the weekend before and get a table. You should’ve planned in advance.”

“Oh, no,” Sutton spoke up, suddenly finding her voice as she waved off their concerns. “It’s really not a big deal. We’ve been together for so long, you know? We’ve celebrated way too many things. Besides, Valentines’ is just a money maker, right?”

“You crack me up,” he murmured. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Sutton’s lips. “Listen, babe, I have to run. Early morning tomorrow. I’ll call you, okay?”

“Okay.”

Kate and Mia waited until they heard the elevator doors close before launching into a dramatic monologue about how much they hated him, how Sutton deserved better. Sutton, on the other hand, made herself a grilled cheese while they ranted at her and tried to tune them out.

When she was in bed later that night, she couldn’t find it in her to turn on the television or read the book she’d bought earlier that afternoon. Instead, she stared blankly at the wall in front of her and let her brain run a mile a minute.

Finally, after about thirty minutes, she grabbed her phone and pulled up Jake’s contact. She laughed at the contact photo, a goofy selfie he’d taken of himself just before leaving her that night.

When were you going to tell me you were a professional hockey player?

She deleted it and retyped it about five times before just hitting send and hoping for the best.

Across the city, Jake was slipping into his apartment and nearly dropped the food he grabbed on the way home when he saw her name flash across the screen. He smiled when he read her message and settled down at the kitchen table to respond before eating.

Right now, I guess

Bubbles popped up on his screen immediately as she typed out a message of her own. He locked his phone, then unlocked it, watching the bubbles intently as if urging her to type faster.

I was at the game tonight… My boyfriend wore your jersey.

Jake licked his bottom lip, tugging it between his teeth to suppress the cocky grin that was finding its way to his lips.

What did you wear?

Sutton laughed at the undertone of the message, but before she could respond he’d already sent another.

I don’t mean it like you think I do. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Her response: I wore a Pastrnak jersey… And my mind isn’t in the gutter

Well, why don’t you just rip my heart out, Sutton???

The next morning, she woke up to a follow request from him and the realization that a simple shower wasn’t going to make him go away.

---

February 14th, 2019

In the two days since Garrett dropped the bomb about the lack of Valentines’ plans, Sutton had come to terms with it. It was okay that they weren’t going out to some fancy dinner surrounded by happy couples or desperate singles… As long as he did something to make up for it.

Quite honestly, she wasn’t asking for much.

Flowers would be great, she thought. But, at this point, she would settle for a heartfelt card (or, hell, even a text).

She woke up to a coffee, still hot, waiting for her on the counter with a sweet Post-It note from Kate. Mia even snuck freshly baked cookies into the girls’ lunches. Sutton would be making dinner in their apartment that night as her contribution to their Valentines’ Day plans. At the end of the day, she knew she’d be thankful she spent the night with her girls instead of Garrett.

Maybe that was a problem.

There were no flowers waiting for her when she got to work, and still none by lunchtime. She checked with the office’s receptionist three times that day, wondering if she’d missed a call or something like that. But she hadn’t.

It was around 4 p.m., two hours until the end of her work day, when she heard the mail cart rolling down the hallway.

“Special delivery for Miss Beckett!”

Sutton’s heart fluttered. She practically danced out to the hallway from her desk. The cute elderly man who delivered the mail was standing just beyond the threshold with a black box wrapped in a beautiful white bow.

“Thank you, Earl.”

“Enjoy, beautiful,” he said. “He better treat you right or someone else might come and snatch you up.”

Sutton laughed politely as she walked back to her desk. She placed the box down and squealed excitedly as she pulled the ribbon apart. She took the top off, pulled back the tissue paper, and revealed a Bruins t-shirt with a note that read: You’d look better in #74 than your boyfriend

+

While Kate and Mia set the dinner table that night, Sutton found herself preoccupied with dinner and Jake DeBrusk, once again. She’d been thinking about his gift all day.

Since she texted him the other night, they’d been Snapchatting a little bit. It was never anything of substance, just photos of his sneakers or skates and her coffees. They hadn’t exchanged any message since earlier that morning, and certainly not after the arrival of his gift, but she knew she’d have to thank him eventually. It made her nervous to think about. She typed out a dozen of texts, but kept talking herself out of it and deleting them. She was so far in her head that she couldn’t figure out how to deal with the situation.

She figured that she should’ve been more upset with him. Sending her a gift on Valentines’ Day when he knew she had boyfriend was clearly crossing a line and she knew she needed to stop him before he took it too far. But, she couldn’t help but ask herself if she even wanted to.

Against her better judgement, Sutton decided she needed to ask for help from the girls. So, as she placed the entrée down on their dining table, she announced, “I need to talk to you guys. And I need you to not be crazies, or jump to conclusions, or anything like that.”

“If it’s about Garrett, I’m liable to be a little crazy.”

“It’s not about him,” she said. “Well, it kind of is. Indirectly, at least.”

“Spit it out, Sutton.”

“Remember when we went out after Garrett and I fought at the end of last month?” she asked. The girls nodded, already digging into the food on their plate despite Sutton being too nervous to put anything on her own. Kate noticed and began shoveling food onto her plate for her, pushing it towards her after it was full. “I met a guy.”

“Excuse me?” Mia blurted out. “What do you mean you met a guy?”

“His name was Jake,” she continued. The girls nodded along, hanging onto every word that Sutton said while she went through the details of the night she met him, and the night she saw him again. They both had smiles on their faces, giggling at the way Sutton relayed their texts from two nights prior.

Kate couldn’t believe she had been talking to a player on the Bruins. Mia was just happy she was talking to someone other than Garrett.

“He sent me one of those t-shirt jerseys,” she said. “Today.”

“Today?!”

“Yeah, and he left a note that said ‘you’d look better in #74 than your boyfriend’.”

The girls swooned.

“I love him!” Mia announced. Kate nodded in agreement. “You have to call him and say thank you.”

“Call him?”

“Absolutely!”

“I feel guilty,” she admitted. “I should probably let him down easy, right? I have a boyfriend, and he knows that. He shouldn’t have sent me that gift… Let alone on Valentines’ Day!”

As expected, her roommates groaned or eye rolled or reacted in whatever frustrated way they wanted to.

“We’ll clean up after dinner if you call him.”

+

Jake declined her call, and then FaceTimed her back. She threw the phone onto her bed, far away from her, at the sight of herself and grabbed an elastic from her dresser to tame the frizzy locks on her head.

“What kind of psychopath FaceTimes someone they hardly know?!” Sutton screamed to her roommates. She heard them laughing in the living room. “And without warning!”

“Answer him!” Mia yelled. “I hate the sound of your ringtone!”

Sutton huffed out in frustration and plopped onto her bed, checking once more to see if she looked okay. She pressed her thumb over the front camera and answered.

Jake was grinning when he popped up, but then he frowned comically.

“I FaceTimed you for a reason.”

“And I voice called you for a reason.”

Sutton watched as Jake threw his head back with a laugh and smiled despite herself. He was in a hotel bed, at least that’s what it looked like, and he was laying on his side, propped up on his elbow. He stared at the black screen on his end of the call and sighed.

“Sutton, show yourself.”

She rolled her eyes, but did as she was told and pulled her thumb off the camera. Before he could say anything, she asked, “How did you know where I work?”

“You put the building on your Instagram story yesterday,” he answered. “And the company is in your Instagram bio. I put two and two together.”

“I really appreciate the gift, Jake, but I have a boyfriend.”

Jake blinked at Sutton, unphased by the statement, before finally saying, “I know that.”

“You really shouldn’t be sending me gifts on Valentines’ Day.”

“It’s Valentines’ Day?” he asked. She honestly couldn’t tell if he was serious or he was just joking around. He laughed softly at her confused expression. “Relax, Sutton. I just wanted to get you the jersey before our game tomorrow night.”

“Oh.”

“Oh,” he teased. She rolled her eyes. “Was he mad?”

“He didn’t see it.”

“Why? Did you throw it out? Don’t tell me you threw it out. I mean, it’s not a big deal. I could pay for a new one, but I always hoped if anyone was going to get rid of my jersey they would burn it. It’s so much cooler that way.”

Sutton laughed at him, and Jake beamed at the sound. He hadn’t heard it since the night at the club and it was just as pretty as he remembered.

“I wouldn’t do that.”

“Shouldn’t you be out right now?” he asked. “It’s only 9 p.m. You look like you’re in bed.”

“That’s because I am in bed.”

“Why?”

“Because I have work tomorrow.”

“What did you do tonight?”

“You ask so many questions.”

“I’m trying to get to know you.”

Although they were a whole country apart from each other, him in a hotel room in California and her in bed in Boston, she felt vulnerable. It was because of the way he was looking at her through the screen, the softness of his voice when he was flirting with her, the not-Valentines’ gift and handwritten note that still sat beside her.

“I made dinner for my roommates and I,” she answered. “It was nice.”

“You and Garrett have roommates?”

“Oh, my God,” Sutton grumbled. He was really going to make her spell it out for him wasn’t she. (And, yes, he fully intended to.) “No. I don’t live with him. I live with my two best friends.”

“Did he not spend Valentines’ with you?”

“No, he did,” she said. Her voice dropped to a mumble. “Two nights ago, at TD Garden with you and thousands of other people.”

“Tell me he got you a better gift than a t-shirt with my last name on it,” Jake pleaded, no longer finding the humor in teasing her about him. Sutton grit her teeth in response, not wanting to tell him the truth but knowing she couldn’t lie. “I am your fucking Valentine.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I am by default,” he argued. “And so are your roommates apparently.”

“We celebrated early! Why is that so crazy?”

“Who bought the tickets to the game?” Jake asked. Her silence spoke volumes. “You did, huh?” Sutton nodded. “What kind of asshole doesn’t get his girlfriend a gift on Valentines’ day? What kind of asshole doesn’t even bring her out to dinner?”

“Jake, that’s enough.”

“Did he send you flowers? A card?”

“Jake!” Sutton yelled. He pulled his phone away from his face at the sharpness of her tone. “I don’t want to hear it from you. I already hear it from my roommates. I don’t need to hear it from you. You don’t even know me.”

“Well, I want to.”

There was a pause in conversation, a moment of intense eye contact (if you could even call it that through the phone). Then, Sutton dropped her head back in frustration.

“Why?”

“Because I’ve been thinking about you since I first met you.”

“I have a boyfriend, Jake.”

“Sort of.”

“Stop.”

“Okay.”

Sutton let out a frustrated sigh and Jake watched her run her free hand through her hair while her eyes gazed at something across the room. They looked like they were welling up and Jake frowned, the feeling of helplessness washing over him as he realized he didn’t quite know how to make the situation any better.

“You’re going to wear the shirt tomorrow, though, right?” he asked, forcing a grin onto his face. She looked at him and laughed. “Because if you tell me you’re wearing a Pasta jersey again, it will break my heart.”

“Yes, I’ll wear your jersey.”

They spent another thirty minutes on the phone talking about nothing important. Jake was happy to be talking to her for real, not through Snapchats that he had to disguise as snaps he sent to everyone on his contact list. As their time together ended, it was clear neither of them was quite ready to hang up.

“I’ll admit,” she started. Jake’s eyebrows perked up. “I like talking to you, Jake DeBrusk.”

“I knew I’d wear you down at some point.���

“But I have a boyfriend.”

“What did I say at the bar?” he asked. She narrowed her eyes at him, unsure of what he was referring to. The only thing that came to mind from that night was the feeling of his lips against her skin. It was hard to remember everything else. He made her head fuzzy. “We can just be friends.”

---

March 1st, 2019

Sutton’s relationship with Garrett and her friendship with Jake were never supposed to come closer to intersecting than it had on February 12th and there were a few reasons for that.

The first was that Sutton didn’t want to taint the friendship she had with Jake by throwing Garrett into the equation. It just felt too close for comfort. Besides, she knew the two wouldn’t get along. Jake was giggly, happy, full of life. Garrett was serious, grumpy, exhausting. Just because she liked being around them separately did not mean she’d like them together.

The second was that she knew if Garrett found out about their friendship, he would be pissed. There was a reason she shied away from having guy friends. Garrett hated sharing her with other guys, and that included her work husband who was a gay man in his 40s. He was slightly possessive, but she brushed it off as his own insecurities and vowed not to make the relationship more difficult than it needed to be. Just like everything else in life, Sutton catered the relationship to him.

Kate and Mia found humor in the way that Sutton’s life had suddenly become a revolving door. Garrett was there one minute and the second he was gone Jake was showing up at their front door. They started referring to the two parts of Sutton’s life as church and state. Always separate.

She found it easy to keep it that way. Her friendship with Jake was almost completely virtual, save for a happy hour or two. He was busy with hockey, so she didn’t have to worry about him asking her to hang out on the weekends or ever at night. She reserved those for Garrett.

Besides, something about being with another guy after sunset just felt a little scandalous to her and she didn’t need anyone—Jake, Kate and Mia, Garrett, herself—getting the wrong idea.

Nights with Garrett were few and far between. He seemed to be getting busier and busier at work, but Sutton played the part of the doting girlfriend (which really she was) even better. She made him dinner before he went in for night shifts, waited for him to come home from working overtime to give him a massage, made him breakfast before he went out to work again.

Things seemed to be getting better between them, despite his busy schedule. So much so that he met her at work that Friday to bring her to happy hour. He said he wanted to check out a new place downtown, and she went happily because it finally felt right.

Apparently, the opening of this bar was highly anticipated because the place was packed. Unlike Valentines’ Day, Garrett called ahead. Sutton kept the sarcastic comments swirling through her mind to herself and settled into the booth across from him with a sweet smile.

They browsed the menu; Sutton a little longer than Garrett due to her indecisiveness. He gazed around the bar, taking in the atmosphere and then the sight of not one, not two, but a whole group of Boston Bruins.

“Sutton, you’ll never guess who just walked in,” he said in an excited whisper. Sutton gazed up at him from the menu with a smile, then followed his eyes to the door. “Do you know who that is?”

Among a group of men in athletic clothing stood Jake in a Bruins sweatshirt. She spun back to face Garrett and shook her head to give him the illusion that she had no idea who they were even though her heart was about to jump out of her chest.

“Those are some of the Bruins players,” he murmured. “I gotta get a picture with them.”

“Well, why don’t you just let them get drinks and then you can ask for a picture before we leave,” she suggested. The shake of her voice was enough to give her away, if Garrett would only listen.

“That’s Jake DeBrusk,” he continued, eyes still trained on the men across the room. “And Charlie McAvoy.”

“Stop staring, babe,” she said. She took his chin between her fingers and redirected his attention to her. “It’s rude to stare.”

“Well, I’m sorry,” he grumbled, leaning back against his seat. “It’s like if one of those podcasters you liked walked in. I’m star struck.”

Sutton’s heart was pounding in her chest long after Garrett stopped staring at the players that had entered the bar. She knew Jake wouldn’t notice her with her back to him, and since he’d never met Garrett it was impossible that he’d even recognize him. But with Garrett jumping for joy at the opportunity to meet them, she knew she couldn’t avoid him completely.

She spent the entire time trying to figure out how this was going to go down, and even when it came down to it she couldn’t be sure she was making the right decision.

She gathered her things, including her nerves, as Garrett approached Jake. He’d been on the way to the bar when Garrett reached him and the two exchanged polite conversation, smile plastered across Jake’s face as usual.

“Sutton, baby, would you come take a picture for us?”

His smile dropped the moment Sutton locked eyes with him.

“Sure!” she said cheerily, diverting her eyes from his stare. She flitted over to take Garrett’s hand in hers. Jake watched, stomach turning. He was frozen in place. She wasn’t even going to say hello? She wouldn’t meet his eyes or even give him a playful look, a wink even, to acknowledge him behind Garrett’s back.

Jake clenched his jaw and led them back to the table, teeth grinding against each other like they never have before.

“Boys, real quick picture, okay?”

Everything moved so fast. Garrett jumped in with them, Sutton snapped the picture, then stepped away as Garrett praised them on the season they’d been having. She ignored the way Jake was staring at her, tapping away at her phone instead of engaging with him. Like, what else was she supposed to do?

“What’s your name?” Charlie called out. Sutton looked up at him, anxious as all hell that the cat was going to be out of the bag in approximately five seconds. Thankfully, Garrett was talking to one of the other guys they were with and she caught her breath. “You look familiar.”

“Familiar?” she asked with a laugh. Jake watched her carefully. “I don’t think we’ve met before.”

Charlie looked skeptical and then, as he turned to ask Jake if he thought you look familiar too, it clicked.

“Holy shit,” he murmured. And then, as he looked back and forth between the two of them, he also realized the tension. “Holy shit.”

Jake shook his head at Charlie before turning to sit in his chair. Sutton stared at his back, hating every choice she’d made in the minutes before.

“Well, listen, I’ll let you guys get back to it,” Garrett finally said. Sutton redirected her attention to him, hand curling around his forearm as he reached out to her. “Good luck the rest of the way.”

He received words of thanks from the men as they turned back to their food and drinks, and then he was guiding her out of the entrance of the restaurant. Sutton stole one last glance at Jake on the way out and knew that she fucked up.

For the rest of the meal, Jake was quieter than usual because his head was reeling. He was stupid to ever get attached to her. All the time they’d spent talking made him forget that she already had someone at home. Seeing him with her, holding her hand, snapped Jake back to reality. He needed to give himself space.

That’s why when Sutton texted him that night to apologize. (I’m sorry about today! I didn’t really know what I was supposed to do. But thanks for taking a picture with him.)

He left her on read.

---

March 4th, 2019

Nights were meant for Garrett, but Sutton gave herself one pass.

Jake hadn’t answered her texts or Snapchats since happy hour. She knew the way she acted was shitty, but did he expect her to just tell Garrett about him? It seemed like mess of situation that she didn’t want to get into. Three days later, and after numerous attempts to get in contact with him, she had to go full-on stalker mode.

Jake was at practice late that afternoon, so she planned to grab his favorite meal from a local Thai restaurant and drop it at his apartment when he was home later that night. She followed through, feeling confident in herself as she marched towards his apartment with her head held high.

That feeling dissipated almost as soon as the elevator left the ground floor, but she kept it pushing despite the anxiety. At his door, she knocked once, and waited. No response came. She knocked two more times with the same result and decided to give up.

Maybe it was a sign from the universe that she wasn’t supposed to try to fix this. She took this thought in stride, turning to walk away from his door and find shelter in her apartment across the city. And then the elevator opened and Jake stepped out.

They both stopped in their tracks.

“What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to drop this off,” she answered, extending the Styrofoam take-out box to him. He walked toward her with his duffel bag over his shoulder looking tired and sweaty. He took the box from her hand as he passed by her to unlock his door.

He was momentarily stunned into silence. She had texted him and called him a few times since happy hour, but he figured she’d just stop trying eventually. The thought of never seeing her again stung, but he gave himself a lengthy pep talk the day after the Garrett fiasco and then he re-downloaded all his dating apps.

“I’m going to go.”

“Hold up,” he murmured, kicking the door open. “Come inside for a minute.” Her feet remained planted to the carpeted hallway beneath her feet. She glanced at the elevator, then back at him. “Or don’t.”

Jake pushed the door open enough to slip through it with an annoyed huff of air, and then it slammed shut behind him.

She continued down the hall despite the invitation she desperately wanted to take. She reached the elevator and pressed the button to call it up to his floor. The whir of the car started immediately. The doors opened just a minute later, but Sutton was already on the way back to Jake’s front door.

She only knocked once before he was swinging the door open and stepping aside to welcome her in.

Jake walked straight into the kitchen where the microwave was already heating up the Thai food she’d brought for him. While she sat at the counter, Jake leaned up against the opposite side and asked, “What did you buy me Thai for?”

“It’s an apology.”

“The Thai food is an apology?”

“Yes.”

“For what?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. He narrowed his eyes at her, as if he had no idea what he was talking about. He knew damn well what it was for. He just wanted her to say it herself.

“For happy hour the other day.”

Jake hummed, seemingly satisfied by her answer, and grabbed the food from the beeping microwave before slipping out of the kitchen to the living room. Sutton stood there a moment longer, ignoring her overwhelming urge to find a pillow and scream right into it.

“Do you want me to leave you alone?”

Her question was followed by a moment of silence until he reappeared in the doorway. He gave her an amused look before he stepped over to the utensil drawer to grab two forks.

“Sutton, when have I ever wanted you to leave me alone?” He paused. “Do you want me to leave you alone?”

“No.”

“Great.” He turned and continued out of the room. “Come eat.”

Jake sat on the floor on one side of his coffee table, and Sutton sat across from him. He turned the television on to some rerun of Friends and watched absentmindedly while they ate, his quiet chuckles the only thing filling the air around them.

Sutton watched him, mostly because he wasn’t looking at her, and felt relief wash over her. The tension in her shoulders over almost everything going on in her life was momentarily cured just because she was near him. She knew the Thai food was only a momentary solution and that a more serious conversation would follow later, but she didn’t care. This moment was something she’d been wanting since she saw him on Friday.

After eating, Jake showered and left Sutton in the living room to pick a movie for them to watch. When he returned, she was sitting on the opposite end of the couch from where he had been. He settled down onto the cushion without a word, eyes grazing over the description of the movie she’d picked out.

“Feels weird to have you all the way over there,” he said softly.

She stood and readjusted herself on the cushion beside him. Her legs folded beneath her as she pulled her sweatshirt sleeves over her hands. He noticed the way she was curling into herself and sighed in defeat, dropping his head against the back of the couch.

“Are you cold?” he asked. Sutton glanced over at him. “Or do you just feel that weird around me now?” She frowned. He looked away from her, muttering, “If I had known that you were going to be there with him, I would’ve gone somewhere else.”

“This is so fucked up,” she groaned into her hands. “That’s so unfair to you, Jake.”

“What do you mean?”

“You would have gone somewhere else? So that I could keep my friendship with you private from my relationship? Who does that?” she rambled. “Christ. Why do you deal with this? I’m such a shitty friend.”

“You’re not shitty, Sutt.”

“Yes! I am!” she exclaimed. “I should’ve just told Garrett that we met, but I didn’t because I knew he’d be pissy and I didn’t want to deal with it. Now, look! I’ve just made the situation worse because I hurt you and dug myself into a hole even deeper than it already was.”

“Why would you even think he’d be mad?”

“There’s a reason I’m only friends with girls, Jake.”

He stared at her long and hard after that admission feeling an anger boil in his stomach that he hadn’t felt in a very long time. Finally, he asked, “Does he not let you have friends who are guys?”

Sutton’s answered with a look.

“He—he doesn’t hit you, does he?”

“No!” she exclaimed. “No. Never. I wouldn’t be with him if he was, like, abusive.” She almost couldn’t get the words out because she realized how ridiculous she sounded. She couldn’t even believe herself.

Jake huffed, his eyes rolling in frustration, as he said, “Okay, so he’s not physically abusive.”

“Jake.”

“No, I know,” he murmured. “You don’t want to talk about it. You never want to talk about it.”

He turned his attention back to the TV screen, jaw clenched so he could hold back all the words he wanted to say. He kept it to himself, knowing that if he spoke he’d be speaking out of anger and it would just make the situation worse.

So, he waited until he was composed. He waited until he was levelheaded. And level headed Jake cared more about keeping his friendship with Sutton intact than telling her that her boyfriend was a piece of shit.

“I hate being mad at you so much,” he said with a sigh. She pouted at him. “You’re like my best friend.”

“You’re mine, too,” she whispered. Jake stretched and pulled her into him for a hug. She relaxed in his arms, sighing softly into the crook of his neck. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he said. “I just wish you wouldn’t let him control your life the way you do.”

Sutton pulled away and sighed.

“Things are good between us right now,” she said. “I know you don’t really understand it. Kate and Mia don’t either, I know that. It’s just that Garrett has been good to me. I’m happy.”

“Okay.”

“And I know that our friendship started out a little flirtatiously,” she continued. “But I can’t let you get the wrong idea, Jake. I’m happy with Garrett and I don’t want to lose you because of it. We’re—”

“We’re just friends,” Jake jumped in. “That’s what we have been since you yelled at me for buying you a Valentines’ gift.”

“I just wanted to make sure that the lines weren’t blurred.”

“Not blurred,” he insisted. “You’re my friend, Sutt. That’s all.”

---

March 17th, 2019

Jake was on his way to Sutton’s apartment because Garrett did something fucked up. He was beginning to forget how to treat Sutton again and Jake found himself picking up the pieces more than once. It wasn’t his job. He knew that, and yet he was still showing up to check on her.

Boston was in full-on party mode for St. Patrick’s Day and though Jake had been invited to a teammate’s house that night, he was on his way to Sutton’s apartment with ice cream. She answered the door, eyes rolling when she saw Jake on the other side. She told the girls not to tell him what Garrett had done that day… Clearly, they didn’t listen.

“Why are you here?”

“That was not a nice hello,” he noted as he pushed past her. He stepped into the kitchen and grabbed two spoons before entering the living room with Sutton hot on his heels. “What are you doing?”

“I was watching Project Runway,” she told him. She grabbed the remote and paused the television. He raised an eyebrow at her.

“Is Project Runway your emotional support show?”

“Who says I need emotional support?”

“Your roommates.”

“God, they’re so nosy,” she muttered. “I told them not to call you.”

“I would’ve figured it out even if they didn’t,” he said. He sat down on the couch and opened the pint of ice cream he’d brought with him. “I knew something was wrong just from the way you were texting me.”

“How?”

“Just your general lack of interest in the conversation.”

“Sorry.”

“All good,” he said, waving her off. He lifted the pint up toward her. “That’s why I came with your favorite flavor!”

Sutton fell to the couch beside him and grabbed a spoon, heart fluttering at his thoughtfulness. He pulled her legs over his lap and gazed over at her as she started digging into the Ben & Jerry’s in her hand.

“So, what happened?”

“Today’s our anniversary,” she explained. She handed him the pint after placing the spoon in her mouth, eyes fluttering shut as the flavor exploded in her mouth. Jake huffed, scooping out a spoonful for himself.  

“Why isn’t he celebrating with you?”

“He had a St. Patrick’s party at his office,” she answered. “He’s up for a huge promotion at work, again, so he’s sucking up.”

“He couldn’t bring a plus-one?”

“I didn’t ask.”

Sutton might’ve asked Garrett at the beginning of their relationship, but she would never ask him to demand a plus-one now. And there was a very good reason for this. She was sure that if he’d dragged her along, she would find out something that she didn’t want to know. Something along the lines of him cheating on her.

All the signs were there, but she didn’t want to believe it. Or confront him about it.

And she certainly didn’t want to tell Jake.

“That’s so unfair to you,” he grumbled, passing the ice cream back to her. “You should say something to him. I thought things were going well for a little bit.”

“Yeah, well,” she said dismissively. “This is how things are between us.”

“Isn’t it exhausting, Sutton?”

“A little bit.”

“You deserve better than exhausting.”

+

When Kate and Mia got home later that night, they found the two of them wrapped up in each other and a message on the television asking if they were still watching their show. The sound of the door slamming shut startled the two awake and, under the watchful eyes of her roommates, Sutton scrambled off him.

“Hi, sleepy heads.”

“What time is it?” Jake grumbled, reaching out for his phone. He read the time, dropping his head against the pillow in frustration. Sutton left the room in search of sweatshirt and Jake found himself cornered by the other two girls. “I have to go.”

He stood, running his hands through his hair to contain the locks that were sticking up from the pillow. The roommates watched him with amused smiles.

“That was sweet,” Kate said. Mia nodded in agreement, but he just rolled his eyes.

“Friends,” he said. A sigh of disappointment fell from Kate’s lips. “That’s what she wants. That’s what I’m giving her. Don’t complicate it.”

“You two are so full of shit,” Mia grumbled as she marched out of the living room.

When Sutton returned, she looked ready for bed. Her hair was pulled up into a bun and her sweatshirt hung loose over her much smaller body. Kate was in the kitchen, out of sight, so Sutton’s guard fell for a moment. She walked over to Jake and wrapped her arms around his waist to cuddle against his chest again.

“Talk to Garrett, would you?”

She looked up at him, almost pleading him to drop the subject, but caught the look in his eye and knew he was serious.

“Okay, I will.”

“I just want you to be happy,” he said. “And he makes you happy, right?”

---

March 26th, 2019

Charlie was disappointed in Jake. There he stood, in Charlie’s kitchen, with his hip cocked against the counter and his phone in his hand. It had been two months since he met this girl and he was still pining after her, even though she had a boyfriend. It was pathetic.

“Sutton?”

Jake hummed at him in response. Charlie rolled his eyes and ripped the phone from his hands like a middle school bully. He glanced down at the screen, eyes catching her name and a horrible grey text to blue text ratio.

“Dude, are you triple texting a girl with a boyfriend?”

He shoved the phone back to Jake who then placed it in his back pocket with a scowl.

“I’m worried about you.”

“We’re friends.”

“You got friendzoned by a girl you tried to hit on at a club,” Charlie pointed out. “Where did you go wrong?”

“I talked to her.”

“Is she coming tonight?” he asked, deciding to use mercy rules on his love-struck friend.

“Yep,” Jake answered, avoiding eye contact with Charlie. It didn’t go unnoticed by McAvoy and he was waiting for Jake to drop whatever bomb was coming. “I think she might be bringing her boyfriend.”

“What?”

“It’s my fault,” Jake said. “I told her she could bring him if she wanted to.”

“Why would you do that?”

“She wanted to be here to celebrate us clinching a playoff spot. And I really wanted to see her, but she also had dinner plans with him. So, I told her to bring him with her after dinner.”

“I don’t want that prick in my apartment.”

Although Charlie thought Jake’s crush was ridiculous, he started to become a little protective of her over the last two months. He was always hearing all the crazy stories about her boyfriend and how shitty he was to her. It made Charlie itch.

He’d been around Sutton a few times since he saw her at happy hour, mostly at Jake’s apartment and in passing. She spent some time there on the weekdays, when Charlie assumed Garrett was at work. She was always making sweets for Jake (he claimed it was because she was stressed, though Charlie thought it was something more than that). When she noticed that Charlie would steal half of them each time, she started leaving him a bag of goodies too.

Other than those few occurrences, Jake was mostly talking his ear off about the times they could grab lunch or drinks. And, though he was still completely head-over-heels for her, the relationship between the two of them seemed to shift to a more platonic type. Forget the constant flirting and you just had two best friends.

“I don’t want him here either,” Jake grumbled. “But I want her, so we’ll just have to deal.”

Truth be told, Jake had gotten better at just being her friend. She stopped telling him all the shitty stuff that Garrett did to her. Instead, they talked about work and the things they would do when they finally got time off. Even Kate and Mia stopped telling him when Sutton and Garrett fought.

It was a step in the right direction, but he still knew things weren’t going right. He could tell by the way she filled his counter with baked goods and picked out the sappy rom coms on movie nights. Both were becoming a daily occurrence, but Jake kept his mouth shut. 

He kept checking his phone for a sign of life from Sutton. Dinner with Garrett was at 6:30 p.m. 10:30 p.m. came around and his phone was still dry.

He hated himself for being so hung up on it because she was out with her boyfriend! Maybe they were having a great time, maybe for once in their relationship Garrett was doing the right thing and she was happy, maybe they’d gone back to his place… Jake shook off the traitorous thought.

He spent the night bouncing from group to group until Charlie pulled him into a conversation with some of his girlfriend’s friends. It was obvious, from the look in Charlie’s eyes, that this was a set up in progress. And, for the first time in a long time, Jake let it happen.

He talked to the girl in front of him, a small brunette with big brown eyes, for what seemed like hours. And not in a good way. He wondered if maybe she was being so boring to get him to kiss her, but it wasn’t working. He didn’t want to kiss her because he didn’t want to kiss anyone but Sutton.

Jake sighed, lifting his hand to the girls forearm to say, “It was really nice to meet you, but I’m gonna run to the bathroom.”

She looked at him like he punched her in the gut.

When he got to the bathroom, he peed and then stared at himself in the mirror for a little bit too long. He wasn’t even drunk. He just needed to have a moment with himself. Finally, when he felt centered, he leaned over the sink and splashed some cold water on his face before slipping out to the hallway once more.

“Jake!”

The sound of Sutton’s voice echoed off the walls of the hallway and set him off kilter once again. She bounded forward and wrapped her arms around his waist, effectively turning him to putty in her hands.

“Hi,” she greeted. She hung on him a little more than she usually did. Jake gazed down at her, thinking she looked a little bit like an angel with her hair pinned back like that.

His lips turned up into a small smile as he pressed a kiss against her forehead and murmured, “Hey.”

Mia turned down the hallway at that moment and let out a large exhale.

“Oh, good,” she huffed out. “She found you.”

Kate bumped into Mia from behind, apparently also in search of the sweet girl in his arms.

“She found him!”

“I found him!” Sutton exclaimed, clapping her hands over Jake’s cheeks as she looked up at him.

“You found me,” he responded with a soft laugh. He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, then glanced up at her roommates over her shoulder with a concerned look.

Kate came forward, wrapping her arms around Sutton’s waist to pull her from Jake.

“Come to the bathroom with me?”

“Sure, lovebug!” Sutton exclaimed. She turned back to look at Jake and planted a kiss right on his lips so quickly that he didn’t even get a chance to close his eyes, pucker his lips, or savor the moment. With a shocked gasp, Kate pulled Sutton away to the bathroom down the hall.

Jake’s eyes widened when he looked back at Mia.

“What the fuck is happening?” he asked, reaching up to brush his fingers along the tingling on his lip.

“She thinks Garrett is cheating on her.”

“Weren’t they supposed to be at dinner tonight?”

“He didn’t show, so she checked his location,” Mia explained. “He’s at a coworker’s house. Apparently, it’s been happening for a while and she didn’t care to tell us until tonight.”

Jake couldn’t decide what he was feeling. He was simultaneously pissed off at Garrett for being a dickhead, and Sutton for kissing him in that moment, and himself for feeling butterflies.

“She ended up eating dinner at the bar of the restaurant by herself and came back to our place bombed,” Mia continued. “We tried to get her in bed, but she insisted on seeing you. So, here we are.”

“She can’t stay.”

“We know that,” she said. “But she won’t leave with just us.”

The two of them exchanged a knowing look before the door down the hall swung open and Sutton stepped out, pulling Kate along with her. Jake stuffed down his frustration towards her and walked over with a smile to pick her up in a hug. She giggled and pressed her forehead against his.

“Let’s go home, yeah?”

“I just got here!”

“Yeah, but I’d much rather be at your place right now.”

Sutton pouted. Jake pouted back. And then she was smiling again.

+

Charlie stopped Jake before he slipped out the door behind the girls. His fingers curled into his teammate’s bicep way harder than necessary. Jake winced beneath his grasp.

“You need to sort this Sutton situation out,” he spoke. “I saw her plant one on you.”

“I don’t know what’s going on with her.”

“You are going to let this girl rip your heart out if you don’t set some boundaries,” Charlie barked. “I know you love her and I know deep down she’s not a shitty person, but I think she needs to figure her shit out on her own. You need to stop trying to fix everything for her.”

The ride back to Sutton’s apartment was silent. Charlie’s words echoed in his head as he slipped into the back of the car with Sutton right behind. She kicked her legs up over his lap and snuggled into his chest. Knowing nothing would get solved with her this drunk, he sighed and wrapped his arm around her shoulders to pull her into him.

He couldn’t believe she just kissed him like that, especially because she thought Garrett might’ve been doing the same thing across the city. It felt like he was a pawn in her little game, and he hated that because Sutton was better than that. At least he thought so.

Soft snores fell from her lips moments after they pulled away from the apartment building. Without thinking, he began to massage the top of her head. Kate watched with a fond smile on her face.

Jake carried her up to the apartment, stirring her from sleep only as he placed her on her bed.

“Jake,” she murmured. He knelt beside her and started to unclasp the heels she was wearing.

“Sutton.”

“Thank you.”

He hummed, picking up the shoes to place them by her closet door.

“Come to the bathroom,” he urged, extending his hand to her. “We’ll get that make up off. You can brush your teeth.” He turned away from her once she was standing and smirked. “Maybe even throw up if you feel so inclined.”

Sutton hit him lightly on the back, a giggle falling from his lips at the teasing.

Jake rummaged through the cabinets in search of her make up wipes while she sat atop the counter and brushed her teeth. After rinsing, she watched him with tired eyes as he moved to stand between her legs.

He cupped the back of her neck to hold her head steady while he removed her makeup and tried not to think about the way that she was looking at him, or how she melted into his touch the moment he held her. Her eyes fluttered shut for him to get off her eye makeup. When they opened again, their eyes met in a steady, loving gaze.

“You’re going to be the death of me, Sutton,” he murmured. He stepped back and opened the bathroom door once more to usher her out. She did as she was told and retreated to her room to crawl into bed. He returned a few minutes later with a bottle of water and pain killers. He placed them on her bedside table.

“Are you mad at me?” she asked. Jake sat down beside her and she reached up to cup his cheek in her hand. He leaned against her palm as her thumb stroked his cheekbone.

“We’ll talk tomorrow,” he responded. Her eyes began to well up. “You’re working yourself up. Don’t do that. We’ll be fine, okay?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Okay.”

She brushed the tears away with the back of her hand and sniffled. Jake placed a kiss against her forehead before turning to leave. He stopped at the door and looked back at her as she settled beneath the comforter and snuggled the pillow beneath her head.

“Call me when you get up.”

+

Sutton didn’t call by 10 a.m. the next morning, so Jake swung by to check on her. Mia let him in and informed him that she still wasn’t awake. He walked down the hall anyway, stopping just beyond the threshold of her door before pushing it open to find her sprawled out with her face mushed into the pillow. He took a few silent steps towards her bed and sat at the edge of it before lightly shaking her awake.

She woke with a start, the touch of Jake’s hand against her ankle shocking her enough to sit up right.

“Ouch,” she grumbled, squinting her eyes at the light filtering in from the window as she brought a hand to her head to stop the throbbing. Jake sprung up to shut the blinds. “Thank you.”

“I thought you’d be awake already,” he said, standing in front of the remaining rays of light coming through the window. “Get up. Let’s get breakfast.”

Jake was beyond anxious as they walked to her local diner. He wondered if she could tell that he was off or if she even remembered what happened. The way that she was talking, so nonchalant and unbothered, gave him the impression that she had no clue what damage she’d done last night.

“I honestly don’t remember getting to Charlie’s last night,” she admitted as they sat in a booth beside the window. “I remember seeing you in bits and pieces.”

“Really? Do you remember that I put you to bed?”

“Oh, Jake.” She dropped her head into her palms as she shook her head in disappointment at herself. He tried to hide the frown on his lips by turning his attention to the coffee in front of him. He ripped open a sugar packet and dumped it into the mug as Sutton grumbled about how sorry she was.

She continued talking, but Jake was finding it hard to listen. How could she act like nothing was wrong when it felt like the weight of his whole world was crushing him?

“When are you gonna tell me about your dinner with Garrett?” he blurted out as he finally met her eyes again. Her mouth snapped shut and realization set in that he wasn’t the happy-go-lucky Jake she thought she was grabbing breakfast with. He was not happy.

“He didn’t show up. He had something work related to take care of.”

“At his coworker’s house?”

“How do—”

“Mia filled me in when you showed up at Charlie’s,” he answered. “You were already plastered when you got to the party.” He paused. “Why didn’t you call me when he didn’t show?”

“Because it’s not your job to pick up the pieces every time he fucks up.”

“Then who will? Yourself? Because you did a pretty shitty job of it last night,” he spat. Sutton sat back against the vinyl seat behind her, shocked at his outburst. He paused, inhaling deeply before dropping the bomb. “You kissed me. Do you remember that, Sutton?”

Her jaw dropped and a hand came up to clasp over her mouth in shock as she mumbled out an apology that Jake didn’t want to hear.

“I like you, Sutton. I like being around you and talking to you. But, you drew a line months ago… A line that I’ve stopped trying to cross. And then you just kissed me, like there’d be no consequences.”

“I shouldn’t have done that.”

“But you did. And this morning you still woke up as his girlfriend, and you will tomorrow morning too. So, all I’m asking is that you figure your shit out with him and you don’t drag me into it. You can’t just kiss me because you think he also might be kissing someone else. That’s not fair. You wanted friends, so I gave you friends.”

As if by some divine intervention, their meals came at that moment and the conversation was dropped immediately. When they reached the front door of Sutton’s apartment, Jake didn’t try to come in like he usually did on hungover Sunday mornings. Instead, he stopped at the door.

“Sutton, I’m saying this to you as your friend and nothing more,” he started. “I can’t be around you until you figure your shit out. I’m tired of being your second choice. You have to figure out your worth and I can’t hold your hand until you get there. It’s driving me crazy.”

She stared up at him, eyes welling up with tears, and realized that the best thing in her life was about to walk away. A rogue tear slipped down her cheek, but she wiped it away quickly hoping that he wouldn’t notice. He did, though, he always did.

He pulled her into his arms, engulfing her in an embrace despite the conversation at hand. She stayed still for a moment, rigid even, until she heard Jake let out a shuddering breath into the crook of her neck. Only then did she reciprocate the hug, arms wrapping around his neck like he was her anchor.

---

May 17th, 2019

Sutton didn’t know what she expected to see when she walked into the club, but it definitely wasn’t Jake dancing on a table in the VIP section. She watched as Charlie grabbed his arm and pulled him back down to solid ground, unable to peel her eyes off the boy who’d become a stranger.

“Did you see him?” she asked Mia.

“I don’t think there’s a single person at this club that didn’t.”

When they reached a table, she glanced back in his direction, but the crowd had grown so thick that she couldn’t find him. Kate, who’d already made a beeline for the bar, found them moments later with drinks in hand. She handed one to each of the girls. She took one glance at Sutton and asked, “What’s the face for?”

“In true Sutton Beckett fashion, Jake was the first thing she saw when we walked in here.”

“Jake’s here?”

“Why do you think we’re here, Kate?” Mia asked. Sutton looked at her with a slight panic to her expression. Mia raised her eyebrows at her with a smirk. “Yeah, I know all your tricks.”

“He posted it on his Instagram story, okay?”

Kate dropped her face into her palms, grumbling, “Why won’t you just call him like a normal person?”

“I’m planning to,” she said defensively. Mia hummed in disagreement. “What? I will! Eventually. Like at the end of the season probably.” The girls groaned at that answer. “I don’t even know if he wants to talk to me. He said he didn’t wanna be around until I figured my shit out.”

“Yeah, and you broke up with Garrett two months ago!” Kate exclaimed while Mia grunted, “You like sabotaging yourself, don’t you?”

“You both suck.”

After Jake left that morning, Sutton felt like she cried forever. The door shut behind him and she sank down to the floor and sobbed. Mia and Kate came to her rescue immediately. They listened to her when she wanted to talk about it and, finally, helped her cleanse the apartment of all traces of Garrett. Mia even went as far as purchasing sage to burn. They packed his things into a box and placed it on the floor beside the door with plans to drop it off to him the next day.

When Sutton called him to end it and let him know she was dropping his shit off, he didn’t pick up. It continued for another two days before Kate and Mia were tugging her out to the streets in pursuit of his office building. She ultimately found him flirting with the receptionist in his office and dropped the box to the floor. She kicked it over to him, sending the contents flying.

“Go fuck yourself, Garrett.”

“I never liked you,” Mia echoed. Sutton marched toward the exit, ignoring the protests coming from her scumbag ex’s mouth. She grabbed the girls’ arms and dragged them out with her. “Fuck you, Garrett!”

Sutton didn’t cry over Garrett, but she did cry over Jake. She would be crazy not to.

As she drained her first drink of the night, Sutton couldn’t help but search the bar for Jake and his teammates. She didn’t want to be surprised by him because, truthfully, she wasn’t sure she was ready to see him.

“I honestly don’t know why we even came here,” she muttered, chewing on one of the ice cubes from her cup. “We should leave.”

“We’re not leaving,” Mia barked. “We came here for a reason, whether you think so or not, and you’re going to get what you came for.”

Sutton glared at her, Mia glared back, and Kate watched in amusement until Sutton finally gave in. She grabbed her drink and knocked it back in one swift movement before standing.

“I’m going to get another.”

The girls cheered as she stepped away from them and began to nudge her way through the crowd. She found a break in congestion a few steps ahead. But, just as she was about to slip in, a solid body stepped in front of her. She was about to apologize when she glanced up to see Charlie McAvoy.

His eyes blew wide when he saw her. He was convinced that he was seeing things, but he knew there was no way he was drunk enough for that. He reached out, setting a hand tentatively against her forearm and she waited patiently for him to snap back to reality.

“Does Jake know you’re here?” he asked, eyes searching the area around them frantically. She shook her head, slightly embarrassed by his reaction. He looked back at her. “Why haven’t you called?” Before she could answer, he frowned. “You haven’t broken up with that asshole.”

“I did.”

“Then, why haven’t you called him?”

“We didn’t exactly leave off on the best terms,” she said. Charlie rolled his eyes, shoving Sutton lightly towards the bar. She ordered, he ordered, and he scolded her when she tried to pay for her own drink. Then, he tugged her off towards the VIP section.

Jake saw Charlie first and flung himself out of the booth to swipe his new drink from his hands. And then he saw Sutton over his shoulder and his face dropped. Charlie slipped away, leaving the two face-to-face. He squinted at her, like he was trying to process the image in front of him.

“When did you break up with him?”

“A few days after we argued,” she said. He stilled, mind racing as he tried to figure out the timeline.

“Sutton, you’ve been single for two months and you haven’t called?”

“I was scared.”

“Would you have even called me if you hadn’t seen me tonight? Or would I still be wondering?”

“Of course not,” she defended herself. “I was going to tell you at the end of the season.”

He looked uncertain for a moment, but then his features softened and he wrapped his arms around her. He ducked so that his head was in the crook of your neck. She could feel the soft sigh that left his lips against her skin.

“I miss you.”

Sutton relaxed against him, relieved that he didn’t seem angry at her in the moment. They stood there for a moment, ignoring the hooting and hollering from his teammates at the booth. When he pulled away, he gazed down at her adoringly. “You look beautiful.”

“You look happy,” she said. She ran her fingers through his hair, playing into his sweetness despite her better judgement.

“Are you happy?” he asked, face suddenly serious. She nodded, corners of her lips turning up at his question. His eyes searched her face. “I’m proud of you.”

Before either of them could say anything more, Charlie’s girlfriend appeared with a tray of shots and they were swept up into a crowd of his teammates and their plus-ones, all reaching for shots for themselves.

Sutton stepped backwards to make space and ended up stumbling over Jake’s feet, her back bumping into his chest. Instead of stepping away, drunk Jake dropped a hand to her hip to steady her. He was tingly all over, liquor coursing through him, and when he felt her relax into his touch, he allowed himself to wrap his arm around her stomach to hold her instead. She leaned into him happily.

Someone called out a toast and everyone tossed their shots back with a mixture of grunts and exclamations at the taste. The group dispersed after and, though Jake dropped his arm from around her, he placed his hand in hers moments later to search the bar for Kate and Mia.

The look at their faces when they saw Sutton and Jake hand in hand was comical. They were practically bursting at the seams with excitement and hopped out of the booth to embrace the two in a hug.

“We missed you!” Mia all but yelled in Jake’s face. His drunken giggles got the best of him then, squeezing her a little tighter in response.

+

Unlike the first time they danced together at a club, Jake wasted no time in grinding up against her. His arms wrapped around her waist and her fingers followed, trailing along his arms until she could curl her fingers between his.

When she turned to face him, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. His fingers danced along the skin of her back and he smiled when he noticed the goosebumps on her arms. He leaned in just enough to speak lowly into her ear, lips just inches away. “Sleep over tonight.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Jake,” she said. When he pouted, she reached up and thumbed his bottom lip with a smirk. “You’re too drunk for a sleepover, I think, but I’ll get you home like you did for me.”

“Like the night you kissed me?” he asked with a teasing smile. She dropped her forehead to his shoulder to hide the blush that was creeping up her neck to her cheeks. He chuckled softly, tilting his head to kiss her cheek and murmur in her ear, “I’m ready to go when you are.”

During the fifteen-minute cab drive to Jake’s apartment, he just seemed to just get drunker. He was giggly, chatty, and clingy. His fingers danced along Sutton’s calves, which he’d pulled onto his lap the minute they pulled away from the club. She watched him engage their driver in mindless conversation, smiling softly to herself every time he said something stupid and giggled at himself.

When they pulled up to his building, Jake paid and left the guy behind the wheel a fat tip. Then, he was pulling Sutton out of the car and into the lobby. He wrapped his arms around Sutton’s shoulders and pulled her against his chest as they waited for the elevator.

The doors opened with a ding and Sutton slipped to the corner while Jake pressed the button to his floor. He swayed uneasily on his feet as the elevator jolted upwards. She reached out to steady him, just a soft touch of her hand against his bicep. He turned with a smile.

“Sutton, Sutton, Sutton.”

“What?”

He stepped forward, boxing her into the corner of the elevator. She gazed up at him, finding it hard to breathe as he got closer. He rested his hands against the rail on either side of him and smiled.

“I want to kiss you so bad right now,” he whispered. She leaned away from him slightly, a frown developing as she did so. And though she was hesitant, her heart was hammering in her chest, begging her to attach her lips to his.

“You’re drunk.”

“Sure, but what does that matter?”

“We can’t just do this whenever one of us can’t handle our liquor,” she murmured. His face dropped. “It makes it difficult to tell if we mean it.”

“Trust me, I mean it,” he told her. “I want to kiss you when we’re sober as fuck eating leftovers on your kitchen floor; I want to kiss you when I’m hammered and can barely keep my hands off you.”

The elevator doors opened and Sutton, desperate to move on from this conversation, pushed him out of the car and down the hall.

The moment they entered the apartment, he went to his room to change and returned with a pair of sweats and a t-shirt for her. He watched her happily from his perch on the counter as she walked about the kitchen in his clothes. All he could think about was how badly he wanted to kiss her, touch her.

“Drink this,” she said, handing a glass of water over to him. She leaned up against the counter across form him. “You’re going to be so hungover tomorrow.”

“That’s why you should stay over,” he said. “You can nurse me back to health tomorrow morning.”

“Not gonna happen, DeBrusk.”

“Was worth a try,” he slurred. Sutton laughed at the rise and fall of his shoulders as he shrugged before chugging the water from his cup. After dropping the cup in the sink, he turned back and shook his head at her in amusement.

“What?”

“I’ve just missed you,” he told her. He took a few steps toward her before dropping his hands to counter on either side of her and leaned in. He was intoxicating. The smile on his face made her weak in the knees, but she couldn’t just act like there hadn’t been a fight and two months of silence between them.

“I’ve missed you, too,” she said. “We should really talk when you’re sober.”

“Let’s just talk now.”

“I’m not going to count this as a conversation.”

“Why not?”

“Because what if you don’t remember?”

Jake’s eyes studied her face and he realized the seriousness of her question. He leaned away then and sighed out, “Okay.”

“Let’s get you to bed, drunkie,” she murmured. She slipped past him, fingers catching on his wrist to tug him along. They stopped in the bathroom so he could brush his teeth and he wouldn’t stop glancing at her the entire way through the rest of his nightly routine as if he was worried she might disappear into thin air.

When they got back into his room, he picked her up and dropped her onto his bed.

“Jake!”

“Just stay for a little bit longer,” he whined. She rolled her eyes, laughter falling easily from her lips as he rolled off her to change into pajamas. He boldly dropped his pants and glanced over his shoulder just to see if she was looking, chuckling to himself when he saw her with her hands over her eyes.

He dropped onto the bed and hovered over her, grin on his face.

“I need to tell you something,” he said, slur in his voice still evident. She raised her eyebrows and pressed her hands against his chest to create some distance between them. “I want to be your boyfriend.”

“Jake,” she whispered. “You’re hammered!”

“Yeah, and I still want to be your boyfriend when I’m sober.”

“I told you I didn’t want to have this conversation right now,” she groaned. He dropped to the side of her and propped himself up on his elbow. “If you really mean it, I need you to tell me when you’re not drunk.”

“I will,” he said. “I promise.”

---

June 12th, 2019

They didn’t talk to anytime soon, and Sutton kept trying to convince herself that it was because he was in the Stanley Cup finals so he was busy, not because he regretted everything he said when he was drunk. But, as time went on, she felt more and more defeated. She waited patiently, though, hoping that she’d get some sort of closure at the end of the season.

She watched the entire series against the St. Louis Blues at the edge of her seat. Game seven had ripped her heart out, like many others in the city, but her first thought went to Jake. She almost felt sick to her stomach thinking about it.

Vice versa, the first person Jake thought about when he left the ice was Sutton. He thought about her through each post-game interview and his post-game routine, and as soon as he was in the parking garage he was texting her.

Did you watch?

He dropped his forehead against the wheel and waited for a response. He wasn’t even positive there’d be one after the shit he pulled at the bar and the silence that followed.

There’s a key under my welcome mat

He started the car immediately and drove in complete silence to Sutton’s apartment. He rushed upstairs, eager to fall into her bed. When he lifted the welcome mat, he let out a sigh of relief at the sight of the key and opened the door. He placed his bag down and kicked off his shoes before locking up behind him and heading off to her room.

When he opened the door, the light from the hallway filtered in and stirred her awake. She leaned up on her elbow and murmured, “I pulled out a toothbrush for you and there are sweats and a t-shirt you can wear at the end of the bed.”

He smiled softly, grabbing the clothes from the bed and turning to go brush his teeth. When he returned, she was leaning up against the headboard waiting for him.

“Are you okay?” she asked. Jake shuffled up towards the headboard of her bed just enough to drop his head to her stomach. A shuddering breath fell from his parted lips as he shook his head that indicated no, he was not okay. She curled her fingers into his hair and leaned down to place a kiss against the top of his head. His arms wrapped around her and the weight of the world disappeared, if only for a second. “I’m proud of you.”

+

When Sutton woke up the next morning, Jake was gone and her stomach dropped. She moved slowly out of bed and then, as panic set in, she quickened her steps through the apartment. The sound of the kitchen cabinets opening and closing greeted her. And when she reached the kitchen so did Jake’s tired smile.

“Good morning,” he said. She watched his cheeks turn pink and felt hers do the same. He motioned to the pan on the stove. “I started making breakfast.”

“I see that.”

“Coffee?”

“I’ll make it,” she offered, walking past Jake to the coffee maker on the other end of the counter. She didn’t catch Jake watching, didn’t feel his eyes wander along her body. She almost caught him when she turned to ask how he took his coffee, but he was quick to divert his eyes.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call after the night at the club,” he said suddenly. “Or text.”

Sutton continued for him, feeling the anger she’d built up over the past few weeks begin to boil over. “Or Snapchat. Or really do anything to assure me that things were okay between us.”

Jake frowned, turning his attention back to the eggs on the stovetop. They continued putting breakfast together in silence and reconvened at the kitchen table when the coffee was done and the eggs and toast were plated.

“I mean, you weren’t exactly jumping at the chance to tell me that you weren’t with Garrett anymore,” Jake argued. She sighed, fork clattering to her plate as she leaned back in her seat.

“You told me you didn’t want to talk until I had all my shit together!”

“And do you not?”

“I have no idea!” she exclaimed. “I wanted to call you the moment that I broke up with him. It was my first thought, but then I stopped myself because I thought of how unfair that would be to myself.”

“Why?”

“I haven’t been just Sutton in three years, Jake,” she said. “I’ve been Garrett’s doting girlfriend for three years. Everything I did, I did with him in mind.” She paused. “Then you come along, and suddenly I’m thinking about you, too. For once, I want to just think about myself.”

She continued, “I don’t even know myself. I feel like I’m rediscovering these parts of me that I haven’t thought about in years. I’ve been doing things to make me happy and I’ve been applying to new jobs because I want something more for myself and I finally feel motivated to fight for it. I feel different.”

He felt warm all over, buzzing from the inside out. He didn’t realize how much it would mean to him to hear her say that she was finally fighting for herself. Hearing her explain how she was feeling overwhelmed him with a sense of pride, and in that moment, he couldn’t help but smile at her.

“I guess that’s a good enough reason not to call,” Jake resigned.

“Why haven’t you called?”

“Because I was scared of what I might find out,” he answered. “That you were still with him.” He paused and then shook his head. “And I didn’t call after the club because I couldn’t remember any of the things I said and I was worried that I did something stupid.”

“You don’t remember?” she asked, her fears coming true.

“Not much.”

“Oh,” she whispered. “Okay.”

He was lying. He remembered every moment of that night spent with her. The image of her in his t-shirt swallowing her whole, the look on her face when he told her how he felt, the blush that crept up her neck to her cheeks. How could he forget it?

Mia entered the room then, cutting the conversation off before it could go anywhere else.

 “Ooo! You made bacon!” she exclaimed, snatching a strip from the plate at the center of the table. Her eyes cut from Sutton’s face to Jake’s and she smiled at the sight. “Happy to have you back, Jake.”

---

June 15th, 2019

Three days after the game seven loss, Jake was still feeling the heartbreak of it. He wondered if there would be a day that he didn’t. He spent a lot of time in his apartment, ordering Postmates for food to be dropped at his door so he didn’t have to see anyone he didn’t want to. The only time he’d left was for locker clean-out.

He saw Sutton every day and, though the visits were welcomed, he realized as they sat on the couch and watched shit reality shows that there was still a lot to be said.

He wanted to tell her how he felt about her again, but he kept his mouth shut. Friendship with Sutton was something he’d gotten used to, and he could continue living like this for now. Besides, he’d be leaving Boston soon and he didn’t want to start something that he couldn’t commit all his time to. She deserved to be the center of his world.

On the morning of the fifteenth, Sutton picked him up to drive him to the airport feeling like shit. It had been weeks since they saw each other at the bar, which meant weeks since he admitted his feelings and nothing had been said about it. He said he didn’t remember much, but she wondered if he really did and was just regretting what had been said.

Conversation on the way to the airport was mundane. He talked about all the things he was excited to do at home, like seeing his family and friends, and asked about what she’d do while he was gone, and she sighed heavily before answering, “Work.”

After she parked the car at the curb of the terminal, she reached over for the handle of the door, but Jake grabbed her other wrist to get her attention.

“I lied to you,” he blurted out. “I remember everything I said to you after the club. I wasn’t going to say anything because I love that you’re just being Sutton right now. But, I also don’t want to leave Boston without telling you how I feel.”

“Fuck you!” she exclaimed after releasing long sigh. He started laughing and stepped out of the car. She scrambled after him towards the trunk to grab his things. He was grinning ear-to-ear. “I thought you didn’t remember or you regretted it!”

“You’re crazy to think I’d ever regret you,” he said, fingers coming up to brush her cheekbone. Sutton blushed hard. “Seriously.”

“Your timing is shit,” she said. Jake curled his arm around her shoulders and embraced her. “Why would you admit your feelings and then fly off to Canada? That’s bullshit.”

“I don’t want you revolving your life around us right now,” he said. He pulled back and pressed his lips to her forehead, even though he desperately wanted to kiss her lips. Then, he pulled away completely. “You have three months to just be you, but then I’m coming back for you.”

---

September 1st, 2019

Jake and Sutton were both shaking like leafs as they made their way to each other on the morning of September 1st, him on the plane, her in her car on the way to pick him up. The summer was full of fresh starts. For Sutton, she ended up in a new position with a corner office at work. Jake had the summer to reset, spend time with his family, and relax.

Together, it was a fresh start to their relationship and more time to get to know each other.

Although they weren’t officially together, they talked on the phone at least once a week, but usually more. They flirted with the idea of the future through conversations about dates they’d go on when he got back and movies they needed to watch together. It felt like all the pieces of the puzzle were finally together, all Jake needed to do was come back to Boston.

And he was finally home.

Sutton stood beside her car as she waited for him to emerge from baggage claim. Her hands were shaking and her stomach felt sick, but the moment she saw him, it all went away. She sprinted over and threw herself into his open arms, giggling as his bags hit the pavement.

He wrapped his arms around her so tightly he thought she might snap in half. Then, she looked up at him, wide smile on her face, and all he could ask was, “Can I please kiss you like I’ve been wanted to all summer?”

“I might die if you don’t.”

And then the world fell away and it was just Jake and Sutton, finally kissing on purpose.

+

“Where are we going?”

“Stop asking questions!”

Sutton knew exactly where he was taking her, but she was hoping the question would make him rethink it. The door just before the stairs had ROOF ACCESS stamped across it.

“Won’t we get into trouble?”

Jake paused then, turning to answer, “Of course not. I slipped the security guards $50 to let us up here.”

Sutton laughed loudly at that and allowed him to continue tugging her along.

After picking him up at the airport, they spent the day re-exploring Boston. They walked in parks and talked on benches for hours on end, like they hadn’t spoken all summer, and then Sutton brought him to her office building to show off her new office. He kissed her in front of her desk and congratulated her for the hundredth time before whisking her off to dinner reservations he’d made a few weeks prior. By the time dinner ended, the two of them were drunk on each other, giggling and dancing down the streets to his apartment.

Jake pushed the door to the roof open and stepped out, tugging Sutton along with him towards the edge of the roof. She laced her fingers through his and followed happily. When he slowed to a stop, she halted beside him, resting her cheek against his arm. The city was alive beneath them, lights shining on them like a spotlight.

“I’ve always wanted to bring you up here,” he spoke, glancing down at her. She was already looking up at him, soft smile playing on her lips. “But I didn’t think it was appropriate to bring you up here if we were ‘just friends.’”

“We were never really just friends, huh?”

“Not at all,” he answered with a laugh. “You were delusional.”

That moment felt so poignant to Sutton, like it was the moment that was going to change everything. She turned to fold into his chest and his arms curled around her, filling her with a warmth she hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Do you want this, Sutton?” he asked, voice just above a whisper. She looked up at him, eyes searching his face, falling to his lips as he spoke his next words. “Do you want to be with me?”

“More than anything.”

---

October 18th, 2019

“He’s going to pass out when he sees you.”

“God, I hope not,” Sutton murmured, fingers still covering the small smile on her lips as she gazed at herself in the lingerie she was modeling for her roommates. Her eyes cut back to the two of them. “You don’t think it’s too much?”

“Not at all,” Mia said. Kate shook her head, eyes still taking in all the little bows and lace on the set. She sighed suddenly and grunted, “Now you’re making me want to buy lingerie. I don’t even have a boyfriend.”

Sutton snorted before turning back to her reflection to admire herself once more.

They’d officially been dating a little over a month and it was a dream. It was fun to get to know each other in a different, more intimate way and little by little all the walls were being broken down between them, not that there were too many to begin with.

Jake’s 23rd birthday was October 17th, but because he had a game, they couldn’t celebrate the way they’d been planning to. Fortunately, his next two days were free, so Sutton booked a stay at an Airbnb in Cape Cod.

She was all nerves and anxiety leading up to the trip, simply because of the mounting pressure that came with not having had sex with him yet. They’d spent the past month exploring each other with their hands and their mouths, but it was never taken any farther than that.

Only twice had they gotten close to it.

The first occurrence was about a week after the season started. He’d been away on a four-game road trip and by the time he got home, he was exhausted. Sutton was waiting for him when he got home the next afternoon and he collapsed into her arms on the couch until he was ready to cleanse himself of the remnants of loss and airplane germs.

“Come shower with me.”

“Jake,” she murmured hesitantly, threading her fingers through his hair.

“C’mon,” he whined through a pout. “I missed you.”

“Fine.”

She followed him to his room and popped her phone onto the charger while he stripped himself of his clothes. His hands found their way around her waist, sliding underneath her sweatshirt to pull it over her head. When Sutton turned to face him, he captured her lips with his and she moaned against his lips happily.

He shed her of her clothes as they kissed slowly, but as soon as she was standing naked in front of him, she pushed him towards the bathroom, too nervous for what could come next, unsure if she was even ready to go there.

Jake held her close beneath the warmth of the water, fingers traveling along her spine, into her hair, gripping her ass. Her hands were just the same, feeling his every muscle constrict beneath her touch, listening to him shudder when her hands traveled below his hips. He was hard against her lower abdomen,

“I’m not ready,” she blurted out. The second the words were out in the open she was clasping her hands over her mouth. Jake took a step back, his hands falling from her skin to his sides.

“Ready for what?”

“Sex.”

“Okay, that’s okay,” he murmured, placing another soft kiss against her lips. “I can wait.”

The second time was after a night spent with Charlie and his girlfriend, drinking wine and watching shitty movies. She was going to spend the night at Jake’s anyway, so when they got back to his apartment, they got ready for bed and cuddled up under the covers together—him in a pair of boxers, her in underwear and a t-shirt of his. She woke up in the middle of the night with Jake wrapped around her, his erection against her ass. As she pulled his arms tighter to her, he stirred and rutted his hips against her. 

“Sleeping with you is so hard.”

“Why? Cause you’re always hard?” she asked with a laugh. He hummed affirmatively, pressing into her a bit more. She turned around and kissed him softly. His eyes fluttered open at the feather light touch of her lips, and then he was on her, kissing her while his hands gripped her ass. In seconds, he had her on top of him, straddling his lap.

“You’re so wet right now,” he murmured as she rubbed against his bulge. Sutton was thankful for the veil of darkness in his room because she was bright red and flustered. He gripped her hips and guided her hips. “C’mon, use me, baby.”

She began to grind against him as they made out and he kept her hips down, rutting up into her to help her towards orgasm. It didn’t take long, the friction against her clit had her breathing heavily into the crook of his neck in no time and as her orgasm washed over her, he helped her through it by continuing to guide her hips against him.

“Fuck,” she sighed, and he laughed gently, wrapping his arms around her to keep her close to his chest. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” he spoke. “That was hot.”

And that was the extent of it. But now, he was turning another year older and she wanted to give him a gift to remember.

“Hey, baby,” he greeted as soon as Sutton opened the apartment door. He swept her up into a hug and kissed her full on the mouth while Mia and Kate aww’d behind them. “Hey, ladies.”

“Happy birthday!”

“Thank you, thank you,” he responded before placing one more kiss on Sutton’s lips. They detached from each other long enough for Jake to grab Sutton’s overnight bag. “Are you ready to go? I’ve been itching to get out of this city with you.”

Jake led her to the car, hand-in-hand, chattering on about the game he played the night before and Sutton hung on his every word, like she always did. He loaded her things into the trunk beside his and slid into the driver’s seat, handing the aux over to her—the only person he ever let control the music in his car.

As soon as they pulled onto the highway, Sutton blurted, “I want to have sex with you.”

“Yeah? I want to have sex with you, too,” he responded, goofy smile playing at his lips. His eyes were still trained on the road, like she hadn’t just divulged this important information to him. She laughed softly and reached out to take his free hand.

“No, like tonight,” she said. He looked over at her with wide eyes. “Eyes on the road.”

“You can’t say something like that and expect me to pay attention to much else,” he grunted, though he was now grinning from ear-to-ear. He squeezed her hand lightly. “Are you serious? You want to?”

“Yes.”

“Birthday sex,” he murmured, chuckling at himself. She laughed with him and shoved his hand away playfully only for him to drop it to her thigh, a little higher than usual, and hit the gas.

+

Jake was a pest at dinner.

Even though they’d been seated at a table across from each other, he pulled his chair around to sit beside her. His hand rested against her thigh the entire time, fingers gripping every once in a while to get a rise out of her.

When asked if they wanted a dessert menu, Jake was quick to turn it down.

“No, I think we’re alright,” he answered. Sutton turned to protest, it was his birthday after all, and he’d probably get a free dessert, but he shook his head at her. “Thank you, though. Everything was delicious.”

“You don’t want dessert?” Sutton asked as soon as the waitress stepped away.

Jake smiled and leaned in close to whisper in your ear, “You’re my dessert, Sutt.”

The ride back to the Airbnb felt way too long and the anticipation of the night ahead had Jake buzzing from the moment they got into the car after dinner to the moment he was sitting in a chair in the living room, waiting for her.

“You can’t touch!” she called from behind the bedroom door. His eyes were locked on it, carefully watching the handle so he could prepare himself.

“Sutton, you’re evil.”

“Promise me!”

“I promise, baby. Come on.”

She pulled the door open and his eyes drank her in. Then, her robe fell to the floor and he released a shaky breath. He leaned forward in the chair, elbows resting on his knees as he braced his hands together to keep himself from touching her.

“Sutton, I don’t know how you expect me to keep myself from touching you when you’re wearing that.”

“Do you want your birthday gift or not?”

“I really fucking want my birthday gift.”

“Then, you’ll find a way to keep your hands to yourself.”

Jake leaned back against the chair with a frustrated sigh, eyes still glued to the lace clinging to her body. He swallowed thickly as his eyes trailed over her chest, landing on the little bow between her breasts before meeting her eyes again.

In the sweetest voice, he murmured, “You’re so pretty.”

A blush crept up her cheeks, smile betraying the seductive front she was trying to show, and she sighed, “How am I supposed to act sexy when you’re making me blush like this?”

“You’re always sexy,” he spoke, voice low again. “You don’t need to act.”

She walked over to him, shaking her head when he reached for her again, and straddled his lap, fingers threading through his hair as he gazed up at her. His hands hung limp on either side of him and his fingers twitched as she grinded against his bulge.

“This is so unfair,” he grunted. She kissed his neck, sucking a mark into it as she continued to rub against him. “Who knew you were such a tease?”

“Who knew you were so chatty?”

“Shut me up then,” he challenged with a cocky smirk. Sutton rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t stop her lips from curling into a smirk as well. She sunk down to her knees, pushing his thighs open before fumbling with his belt and his eyes watched her hungrily. He lifted himself from the chair and let her pull them down, leaving him in just his boxers.

“Take your shirt off.”

He threw it off eagerly, tossing it over her shoulder to the other side of the room.

Sutton flattened her hands against his chest and ran her fingers over his muscles as they constricted beneath her touch. His breath was already unsteady. It was painful not being able to touch her when she looked so damn good. She kissed along his chest and down his abs to the waistband of his boxers. A breathless curse fell from his lips as she tugged them down.

In no time, she was working him with her hands and then her lips were wrapping around his length. He gathered her hair in his fist and gently pulled it back and out of her face, watching in awe, mouth ajar as she bobbed her head on his dick. She looked up at him sweetly, eyelashes fluttering against her cheekbones as she watched him unravel. He moaned as she took him deeper, hitting the back of her throat.

His other hand flew to his own face and ran through his hair, gripping the roots as he felt his orgasm beginning to bloom in the pit of his stomach. Jake never lasted long when she was on her knees. Her mouth worked wonders for him.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he muttered, grip on her hair getting tighter. His hips thrust up involuntarily and she gagged around his cock, but didn’t stop. He threw his head back with a groan as she deep throated him and then he finally came. She swallowed it, sucking him dry as he became a moaning mess beneath her. “Fuck, Sutton, fuck.”

She pulled her mouth off his cock with a pop and licked her lips as his gaze returned to her. He dropped his hand to the back of her neck and pulled her up to him. The lace of her lingerie scratched against the bare skin of his chest and when she straddled him as they kissed, he could feel how wet she was underneath.

“You’re so wet, princess,” he whispered into her kiss. One hand slid along her thigh up to her pussy. He pushed the fabric to the side and slid his fingers along her folds. “I love it when you suck my dick, but I can’t wait to fuck you.” He inserted two fingers into her pussy and she moaned as he curled them against her g-spot. “You’re so wet, so ready for me. Do you want my cock, angel?”

Sutton nodded, a whimper falling from her lips as he pulled his fingers out of her. He stood, wrapping her legs around his waist so he could walk her into the bedroom. When he lowered her onto the bed carefully, he kissed along her skin from the valley of her breasts to her lips.

“Do you like your gift?”

“I love it,” he whispered against her throat. His fingers trailed along the lace covering her pussy. “You bought it for me? Just me?” She nodded, breath catching in her throat as he rubbed her through the fabric. “Happy birthday, JD.”

She giggled at his dorky expression and that little smile on his lips, but she shut up the moment he pushed the lingerie to the side. His fingers began to massage her folds again, coaxing sweet moans from her as he sunk the fingers into her heat and curled them once more.

“I never get tired of your moans,” he murmured. “And I can’t wait to hear what you sound like when I’m fucking you.” She swallowed thickly, his words so dirty compared to how he often joked with her. He noticed her reaction and smiled. “Do you like it when I talk to you like this, Sutton?”

“Yeah, I didn’t know you had it in you.”

“You’re gonna learn a lot of new things about me.”

Sutton giggled and he did just the same because nothing between the two of them could ever stay serious. They just liked each other too much to not be smiling, giggling messes at all times.

“As much as I like this lingerie,” he began, fingers dancing along the bows. “How do I take it off?”

Sutton sat up with a laugh and reached behind her to unclasp the bra. It fell away and she tossed it onto the floor. Jake hooked his fingers beneath the waistband of the panties and pulled them down, throwing them onto the floor as well. His hands were everywhere all at once, cupping her breasts, teasing her core.

He pushed her thighs apart and slotted himself between them as he began kissing her again, the head of his cock brushing against her clit as he leaned in. Her sharp intake of breath shattered the silence in the room.

“Jake, I want you,” she pleaded. He released an uneasy breath, cheeks flushed pink as he reached out to grab the condom from the nightstand and ripped the wrapper open with shaking hands. Sutton reached up and took it from him, asking, “Are you nervous?”

“A little bit, I think. It’s because I like you too much.”

“Too much?”

“It’s not a complaint,” he responded, capturing her lips in a kiss. He sucked in a breath and pulled his bottom lip between his teeth as Sutton rolled the condom over his cock. “Fuck.”

She laid back against the pillows once it was on and Jake admired her body, laid out for him. His hands travelled up her sides, back to her breasts, along the skin of her neck and her cheeks. He nudged her thighs apart some more with his knees.

“Are you ready?” he asked. She nodded, accepting his kiss before he reached down and aligned himself with her entrance. One hand rested beside her head and his other wrapped around his cock as he pushed the head into her. She sighed as he entered her some more, finally releasing his member from his hand and caging her head in on both sides with his hands.

He shuddered as he filled her up, the feeling of her warmth all too consuming. His forehead dropped to her shoulder as he bottomed out and she sighed out a moan, wrapping her legs around his waist to take him deeper.

“You feel so good,” he muttered, barely able to get the words out. He let out a shaky laugh and halted his movements to steady his breath. “Hold on. I need a minute.” Sutton furrowed her brows as he leaned back. He gazed down at her body, down at his body and the place they fit together. “If you told me back in March that this is where we’d be seven months later, I wouldn’t have believed you.”

“No?”

“No, you’re my dream girl,” he spoke, leaning in to kiss her again. He pulled out slowly and then pushed back into her. As she sighed beneath him, he spoke against her lips, “You’re so far out of my league.”

“Jake,” she whispered, fingers carding through his hair. He glanced up at her again. “You’re perfect for me.”

Their next kiss was passionate and full of fire, and he began to thrust faster, pulling her leg higher on his waist to hit deeper. The sound of their moans mixing and their bodies together filled the room. He spoke praises to her about how beautiful she was, how good she felt. She kissed him until her lips were bruised.

His thrusts were slow and calculated and he tried to look her in the eye to see how she looked when she was filled with him. The view was beautiful with her lips plump and her eyes wide. She watched him intently, overwhelmed by this moment, overwhelmed that she was finally with him like they’d wanted to be for so long.

She rutted her hips up to get more friction from him and he dropped his hand to her clit, hoping to help her reach the peak before he had his second orgasm of the night. Her nails scratched his back as her toes began to curl.

“Please,” she moaned.

“What’s up, baby? What do you need?”

“Fuck me harder.”

Jake lifted her leg up to rest against his shoulder and dirty, loud moans filled the room as he fucked her. She looked so pretty beneath him, eyes squeezed shut as her back arched off the mattress. He coached her through it, talkative as always, and she shuddered beneath him as he reached the peak, pussy fluttering around his cock. Her chest heaved as he fucked her through the orgasm and, finally, he poured into the condom as he reached his own.

He didn’t pull out until he was soft, and even then, he hardly moved away from her, opting instead to just drop his weight against her in bed. Her fingers carded through his hair and he relaxed into her touch, leaving lazy kisses against her skin. Finally, he pulled himself off her and moved up the bed to rest his head beside hers on the pillow.

They stared at each other for a long time without saying a word.

Jake couldn’t believe his luck, couldn’t believe that this girl was his, finally. He threaded his fingers through her hair to see her face properly and sighed before leaning in to press a kiss to the top of her nose.

“You’re my best friend,” he whispered. “I’m so happy we’re together.”

“Me too.”

Sutton’s heart felt like it could explode from happiness. After all the times she’d been mistreated, all the bullshit she went through with Garrett, she was finally with someone who understood her, both inside and out. Jake looked at her like she put the stars in the sky and it made her melt.

“I think I could spend the rest of my life with you,” he spoke, voice cracking a bit with emotion as his eyes bore into hers. “I love you, Sutton.”

“Jake,” she sighed out, tears coming to her eyes. She reached up, swiping a thumb along his cheekbone and he tilted his head to press a kiss to her palm. “I love you, too.”

[mimi-cee-hq]

Every Season - Kyoutani x Reader

Pairing: Kyoutani x f!Reader

Summary: Kyoutani finally introduces Y/n to the team. When they all comment on how he got such a sweet and innocent girlfriend, Kyoutani lets out a snort. A cute and funny getting together story of different kisses throughout the years and seasons.

Genre and Tropes: Cute childhood friends fluff!

Words: 2,218

This is for the July HQWN monthly prompt event. I'm using the International Kissing Day prompt.

Author's Notes: This is a match-up story for an anon. Thanks to @kingkags for beta reading the first half of the story. :) 

To anon, I don't think I captured your personality very well because I only write PG. loll. I tried to keep the main aspects of your description, so I hope you still like it. >.<

*****

“I still can’t believe that’s Mad Dog’s girlfriend.”

There were crackles from the meat cooking at the neighbouring table. Y/n lit the barbeque for their own table as she welcomed them. The entire team was curious to see what sort of girl Kyoutani was dating so Yahaba and Watari decided on her family's restaurant when they organized a graduation party for the third years.

Y/n smiled at the boys, “What would you like to order?”

The large bow in her hair bounced as she nodded, taking their orders. After she went through the list she wrote, confirming their preferences, she pushed up her round glasses with her knuckles before she left to process the order.

After Oikawa finished gawking at her, he turned to Kyoutani and asked, “How the heck did you end up with such a sweet and innocent girlfriend?”

Kyoutani, just when he was about to sip his drink, let out a snort instead. They were lucky. If the drink was in his mouth, it would have ended up in their faces.

*****

A tiny young girl stood in front of Kyoutani in the living room of her house. “Kyoutani, this is Y/n,” her mother introduced her to the five-year-old boy.

Y/n gave him a sweet smile and waved at him. “It’s nice to meet you, Kyo-chan.” The black bow in her hair slightly shifted as she gave him a small polite nod.

Kyoutani jumped back a couple of feet, clutching his mom’s shirt once he was at her side. He gave a low growl as he glared at her. He had a feeling he should be weary of her.

“Ooo,” Y/n cooed. “Can we keep him?” she asked her mom, giggling.

“What?”

“He’s so cute!” Y/n told her. “He’s like a puppy!”

“He’s not a dog!” Y/n’s mom scolded her.

Kyoutani continued to scowl at Y/n. When his mom left his side, he tensed up, and retreated to the far side of a couch. He gritted his teeth and sat with all fours on a cushion, not allowing his eyes to leave Y/n’s even as their mothers walked out of the room.

Y/n ran to her well-worn toy box and stuck her head in. After she searched through it, she told him, “Look, Kyo-chan!” She held up a bright red leaf. “I have one for you too!” she said, revealing a second one. She continued to share about how she picked them up a few days ago when she marvelled at the trees turning into various shades of reds, yellows, and oranges.

Kyoutani, with his hands still tense, inched closer towards Y/n. Once beside her, he took the leaf from her hand. Staring at the intricate veins on the red leaf, he noted that it was whole and not bent or damaged. His eyes grew as he stared in awe, his scowl finally disappearing and his eyebrows relaxed.

“It’s pretty—,” he started to say. But just as he tilted his head up to look at Y/n, her face was right in front of his. And then she stole a kiss from him.

She giggled.

Kyoutani jumped back, cheeks red and ears flaring. Seeing his reaction, Y/n fell on the floor laughing.

Clenching his teeth, he knew he should have trusted his instincts and shouldn’t have let his guard down. He wouldn’t be tricked again.

“Mommy! Kyo-chan bit me!”

*****

“It’s your turn,” Kyoutani told Y/n with a smirk. He was one pair of cards ahead of her in their game of Go Fish, but she didn't give up yet.

Y/n’s mom was watching the two kids play through the opened sliding door to their backyard. A cool spring breeze would sometimes enter the kitchen as she prepared some kimchi for a future meal. She could see the two sitting on an outdoor mat as they continued taking turns removing a card from the other’s hand.

Now at eight-years-old, Kyoutani would often be at Y/n’s house whenever his parents needed a babysitter. He still didn’t exactly like Y/n, but he didn’t have much of a choice.

At first he wouldn’t even talk to her. He would sit at the couch, cautious of Y/n’s every move, waiting for his parents to come back. But Y/n’s parents were kind to him. They noticed Kyoutani’s discomfort so sometimes her dad would take him out of the house. Some days it would be for ice cream. Other days they’d grab a burger. He even brought Kyoutani to a volleyball game once. But over this past year, Kyoutani finally got along with Y/n - or at least enough to get through a couple of games.

Kyoutani eyed at the two cards in Y/n’s hand, wearing his perpetual scowl. He licked his lips just before he grabbed a card from Y/n. He placed his pair of cards on the mat with a smirk. He won.

“You cheated!” Y/n accused him. Kyoutani rolled his eyes, accustomed with Y/n’s inability to lose. “I demand a rematch!”

“Hmph,” Kyoutani crossed his arms, scowling as he looked away.

Y/n’s mom sighed and shook her head. “When are they finally going to get along,” she commented to herself.

“We do get along!” Y/n told her mom. As if to prove her point, she quickly leaned towards Kyoutani to give him a peck on his cheek.

He flinched and shuffled away from Y/n, grimacing at her gesture. She laughed at his reaction as usual.

“What did I tell you about kissing Kyoutani!” her mom scolded her. “You’re torturing the poor boy!”

“But I only kissed his cheek this time!”

As Y/n continued to argue with her mom, Kyoutani attempted to scratch the cooties off his cheek, unaware of the red hue on his face.

*****

Kyoutani got out of bed after hearing pebbles tapping his bedroom window. He pushed the curtains open to see Y/n below, standing in front of his house. After nearly seven years of knowing her, she still does things that he could never predict. He groaned as he watched her breathe into her palms and rub them together. There was no snow on the ground, yet it was cold enough to see her breath. Y/n wore earmuffs which matched the signature black bow in her hair.

When he let her in, she threw off her scarf and earmuffs, letting out a big yawn before curling up on his living room couch.

“Why are you here when you're so tired?” Kyoutani asked her.

“I stayed up last night to finish up that history project with Kimiko,” she replied, not quite answering his question. “I shouldn’t have paired up with her,” she laughed. “She thought I was smart because I worked hard. But I thought she was smart because she hung out with the smart kids.”

Kyoutani smirked, taking a seat at her feet as she lay on the couch.

“Turns out we both share a brain cell,” she giggled. “Kimiko is fun but she’s too much of a clown. We get so distracted when we’re together. I don't know if we'll get an A." She groaned. "Remind me to never do a project with her again.”

“Never do a project with her again,” Kyoutani plainly told her with a smirk.

Y/n rolled her eyes and then jabbed his side with her toes. Kyoutani jerked away from her feet and shoved them away.

Y/n sat up beside him and hugged her legs. She turned to look at him and said, “Don’t you wish we were in the same class so we could study together?” 

Kyoutani feigned disgust at the thought.

“Hm?” she prodded as she batted her eyes at him. When she leaned in closer to him, pretending to kiss him, Kyoutani pushed her face away with his whole palm. She pouted, then got up to finally open the paper gift bag she brought with her.

“I have something for you.” She pulled out her notebook, pieces of coloured paper peeking out of the edges. She stood in front of him, revealing the notebook’s cover. Y/n had pasted together a picture of the two of them with the words “Happy 12th birthday” written underneath in her handwriting.

Kyoutani blinked a couple of times, not knowing what to say. His shoulders relaxed, still staring at the scrapbook.

“I know it’s still a few hours until your birthday, but I didn’t want to miss it—”

Kyoutani wrapped his arms around her. He felt her tense up before she started to pat his head.

Kyoutani had a rough day. He heard his teammates talking behind his back again. He didn't care to be their friends, but he at least longed for a team where he felt like he was wanted.

Y/n kissed his hair and hugged his head. Kyoutani sighed, deciding this was enough for now. He could be a lone wolf with volleyball knowing he didn't have to be one with her.

*****

Textbooks, pens and notebooks covered the kitchen table. Y/n dropped her head on her notes, exhausted from studying.

“I’m just going to close my eyes for a bit,” she told Kyoutani. “Wake me up if I actually fall asleep.”

“Why don’t you just go home?” he replied as he scrunched his brows, still glaring at the words in his textbook.

“Because I'll fail the test tomorrow.”

Kyoutani glanced at Y/n, her necklace catching his eye. Its pendant dangled as she stirred with her eyes still closed.

“Where’s your uniform's bow?”

“I threw it out.”

“What?”

“I know,” she yawned. “But it doesn't match this bow,” she said, pointing to her hair. “And I like this necklace.”

“Whatever.” Kyoutani didn’t bother. He knew the teachers would let her get away with it anyway. Even if they asked about her modification, she would just claim she lost it.

Kyoutani checked his phone. It was July 6, one of the days Y/n used as an excuse to flirt with him. He frowned, knowing that lately, he wasn't the only person she teased.

They entered high school that year. With new faces, students were eager to get to know each other. Some looked to make new friends while others searched for dating potentials. So there was one guy who made a pass on Y/n, and as they got to know each other, Y/n started to tease and flirt with him too.

Whenever Kyoutani saw them together, he shoved the guy aside and took Y/n with him. Y/n would prod him, asking if he was jealous. He denied it every time. He knew she wasn't serious when she flirted. She just liked getting a reaction.

Like with him.

He sighed at his unrequited feelings, pondering the pointlessness of them. It was pathetic. Gazing at Y/n shut eyelids, he wondered if he should put his feelings to rest too.

“I’m awake!” Y/n exclaimed, popping her head up and causing Kyoutani to flinch. He relaxed when she plopped her head back on the table. She turned to Kyoutani, staring at him. Kyoutani blinked a few times, wondering if she was going to say something. She did.

“Kyo-chan, you’re so pretty.”

Kyoutani rolled his eyes, knowing she was in her loopy mode and definitely too sleepy. “You should go home now.”

“Noooo~ I don’t want to.”

He rubbed his head, not knowing what to do with her. “Ugh, just go already,” he complained, grabbing her arm.

“But I want to stay with you,” she replied. He scoffed, shoving her arm back to her, before she continued. “I love you, Kyo-chan.”

Kyoutani choked up a bit. Did she really mean that? He studied her eyes, realizing she was serious. But his doubts still lingered, hesitant to reply.

He went for it. He didn't care anymore. He took this opening, hoping to keep his feelings alive and awake.

So he swooped in to give her a deep kiss, finally releasing the months - no, probably years - of longing for her. And she returned it.

After they broke apart, she commented with a smirk, "Did you remember it was international kissing day?"

"No, I forgot," he lied, going for another kiss.

*****

"I can't believe Yahaba got sick and missed this," whispered Oikawa.

"Yeah," Iwaizumi replied with a smirk. "He was the one who was curious about her the most."

Kyoutani watched Y/n as she came back to their table. She took the seat beside him and snuggled up against him when he placed his arm around her. She puckered her lips, asking for a kiss. Kyoutani gave a snort and rolled his eyes. But upon seeing her frown, he decided to give her a peck anyway.

"Ewww...," Hanamaki teased them.

"PDA! PDA!" Matsukawa chanted.

Kyoutani glared at them while Y/n giggled at his reaction like usual.

*****

Bonus/ Preview

Their team's manager fidgeted at the table, glancing at her wrist after scanning the restaurant. "Kindaichi," she whispered, nudging him. "Where's Kunimi?"

"He said his mom needed him for something."

"Oh," was all that came out of her lips. It seemed like she would have to wait until the new school year to see him again.

*****

Author's Notes:

I hope you liked it. :) I can't believe I was able to make a cute story for Kyoutani. lollll.

Also, their team manager is Y/n from WWYTF SMAU (completed) and Kimiko is Y/n from my Yahaba fic. Now a bunch of my fics are in the same world because I thought it would be fun. lol! (FYI, that wasn't the real reason why Kunimi wasn't there.)

*****

Matchup request description from anonymous: (For the longest time, I didn't know what to do with this. lol. I'm sorry I took so long to write this.)

Hi ^^ I like your writing and saw you were taking match up requests. I'm a small korean girl under 5ft. I have black wavy hair that is barely above my shoulders but I tie it back half up half down style with a black bow uwu. I also have wispy bangs with a round face and a small nose. I have round circle glasses that fall down cause of my small nose. In my spare time I do art. I usually paint, scrapbook, and edit. If I'm with friends I play card games but I get kinda competitive 💫

💫When I get comfortable with someone I start to become more of myself. In school I work really hard so people assume I'm smart. I also watch my words so people think I'm sweet and innocent. That's the complete opposite with my friends. I tend to flirt with them so I end up saying sexual things. And I won't hesitate to put my friends in pain by speaking uwu. With my 0 braincells I decided I would do anything almost anything for the aesthetic. Breaking dress code is one of them. 💫

Taglist: @dorkyama @the-black-birb @hqprotectionsquad @nagichi-kenma @moonaaluna @muffins-puffins (let me know if you want to be added or removed)

[a-bang-for-your-bucky]

Welcome Home (Part One)

(NOT MY GIF)

Summary: After not speaking to her brothers for over a year, Peyton Rhodes’ life is turned upside down when her boyfriend of four years cheats on her. She uproots her life with WWE and returns home to Atlanta. She finds herself among great friends and she is finding herself again after being lost for so long.

WORD COUNT: 2,624 (well shit). 

Pairings: Cody Rhodes x OFC (Sister), Brandi Rhodes x OFC (sister), Dustin Rhodes x OFC (Sister), past Seth Rollins x OFC, future Kenny Omega x OFC (maybe?), MJFx OFC( maybe?) Could end up being Matt Jackson x OFC (who knows) let the writing gods surprise us.

WARNINGS: explicit language, mentioned cheating, possible future smut (Warnings are subject to change as I continue writing and will be updated as needed).

A/N: This has been a WIP for over a year now. This will be multiple parts. It will be a slow burn. (MAYBE) I’m a sucker for the friends to lovers trope. Please do not think that this reflects my feels toward a certain wrestler (Seth). This story is strictly fiction. I do not own any of the characters except for my OFC(s). Please, please, please, give me feedback. I’m slowly working myself back into the fanfic world. <3

“Cody was right.” I cried as soon as my brother’s wife answered the phone. I hadn’t spoken to my brothers since they left WWE. Cody was upset that I wouldn’t leave with him. Brandi was my way of communication with them. She’d call at least twice a week. This week was different. 

“I caught him. I went to congratulate him after his win over Finn and they were,” I sniffled, hurt coming over me again. “It was Mandy. I thought she was my friend.” I explained to my sister in law.

“Pey, I am so sorry. Please come home. You know AEW has a spot for you whenever you want it.” Brandi offered. It was the same thing she said to me every week, but now I’m ready. 

“I just don’t know why.” I cried. “I was the perfect girlfriend. I basically put my career on hold for him. I thought he was, I thought he was it for me.” Brandi had said that they were going to be home for Cody’s birthday in a few weeks and invited me to come to the party. 

“I’ll talk to Hunter.” I choked out. 

Luckily, my contract was almost up and as soon as Vince heard I didn’t want to re-sign, he settled for my release. We didn’t have the best relationship, but Hunter advocated for me stating that it was best for the company as well as myself. He knew the situation and didn’t blame me for wanting to go.

I knew I had to go back one day. I just never thought it would be this soon. I parked my car in the drive. I could hear Pharaoh announcing my arrival before I could make it to the door. I made my way up the sidewalk to the porch. I took a deep breath and knocked. 

Brandi opened the door immediately. “Well I'll be damned.” She said, “I can’t believe you came!” I smiled, embracing my brother’s wife. 

“Like I would miss my big brother’s 35th birthday.” I lied and she knew it. If Seth hadn’t cheated on me, I wouldn’t be here. 

Brandi led me inside where there were some guests who had gathered in the foyer. Brandi introduced me quickly, leading me through to Cody. “Hey, babe. Your surprise is here.” Cody, who was standing by the fireplace, talking to Dustin, turned and saw me. 

Awkwardly, I raised a hand to wave. “Hi.” I whispered. Cody sat down his drink and walked over to me. I expected him to cuss and yell, but instead, he threw his arms around me, hugging me tightly. 

“Peyton, I'm so happy you’re here.” He whispered. Dustin came up behind him. 

“Long time, no see sis. You know, they invented this thing called a phone. You should look into it. Call your big brothers sometime.” Dustin fussed before hugging me too. 

“It is really good to see you guys.” I tried to hold back the tears, but some escaped anyway. “How have you been? AEW has really taken off huh?” I said making small talk.

Cody nodded, “Yeah, I have the best business partners. I can’t wait for you to meet them.” Looking at my brother, he was truly happy. WWE had given him a few more stress lines, but seeing him now, you couldn’t tell. 

He grabbed my hand, pulling me to follow him. He led me to Matt and Nick Jackson, standing with Kenny Omega and Adam Page. “Guys! Guys! Look who decided to show her face.” Cody beamed, smiling big. The four guys waved. 

“Finally! We get to meet the prodigal sister.” Kenny Omega spoke first. 

“Peyton, these are the guys.” Cody pointed to each of them. “Matt. Nick. Kenny. Adam.” 

“Nice to meet y’all finally. I watch your show every week. You are all very talented.” They all mumbled a “thank you” in tandem. 

The rest of the evening went by smoothly. We all sat and talked. Getting to know The Elite was amazing. It was almost as if I hadn’t been AWOL for a year and a half.  When the party was over, I was helping Brandi clean up. 

“Pey, you don’t have to help. You’re a guest.” She said, grabbing the glasses from my hands. I shook my head.

“I’m family. And family helps.” I smiled, taking the glasses back and continued to the kitchen. Cody walked in behind me with plates. 

“Hey,” he started, “Thank you for coming.” He finished, placing the plates in the dishwasher. I added my glasses. 

“I’m sorry.” I blurted out, turning to face him. Cody looked at me, confused. “I should have left with you. You were right about that place. My career, my relationship, everything, became a shitshow after you left.” tears began to fall. 

“Pey, it’s okay. I’m just happy you’re here now.” Cody wiped the tears away. 

“Code. I lost my title. Seth cheated on me, and I barely got any TV time.” Cody scoffed. He never liked Seth.

“He cheated on you?” Cody growled, and paced around the room. 

I nodded, “I caught him. I went to congratulate him after his win one night and they were,” I sniffled, explaining to Cody. “I don’t know why.” I cried. “And then I lost my title, and then stopped getting TV time, unless I was on Seth’s arm.” I darted my eyes to the ground. “We still had to work together. After everything, I had to pretend like we were the perfect couple, until my last appearance.” Cody pulled me into a tight hug. 

“I pissed a lot of people off with the way I left. I’m so sorry that affected you.” he whispered into my hair, like it was his fault. 

“I don’t blame you, Code. I was granted my release.” I mumbled into his chest. He pulled back. 

“What?” His eyes were wide. 

“I asked for my release and Hunter pushed it through. I’ll be a free agent in 90 days” I explained. Cody smiled like a Cheshire cat.  

“Babe! Dustin! Get in here!” Cody yelled, startling me. The both of them came running, looking for an emergency, but they only saw Cody pouring champagne for a toast. Confused looks covered their faces. 

Cody gave everyone a flute and started a toast. “To our baby sister, the newest AEW superstar.” Brandi squealed and hugged me tight. The guys joined in. 

I was finally home. 

It was hard, walking away from my life in WWE; However, finding my place within the Elite was easy. Especially with Kenny Omega. He quickly became one of my closest friends. The next 3 months were the best of my life. The break from wrestling gave my body and my heart time to heal. Everyone did their best to hide that I was coming to AEW, even leaving fake trails that I was going back to NJPW.

After working out the details of my contract, I was officially signed with AEW. Cody wanted me to make a surprise entrance, interrupt one of his segments. Creative loved the idea of brother and sister reuniting, but they wanted to make it interesting. When my debut date came, I couldn’t have been any more nervous.

Sitting in catering, I was alone, lost in thought, picking at my food. It had been a long journey here, but they made it. AEW came to life and it was thriving. Double or nothing had passed, and that meant tonight was Dynamite.

“Guess who?” Someone had snuck up on me, covering my eyes. I smiled because I knew exactly who it was.

“Hmm, Prince Charming?” I guessed quickly. Kenny placed a sloppy kiss to my cheek.

“Close, but better.” He said uncovering my eyes. “Hey, princess. Just thought I’d come save you from your thoughts. What’s going on in that head of yours right now?” he asked, knowing I’ll tell him, taking the seat next to me. 

I sighed, rubbing my face. “I was thinking about my journey, how I got here.” Kenny nodded, but didn’t say anything. “I was thinking about how I get to see Jon again, since leaving WWE, and I was thinking about Seth.” I finally spit it out. Seth, his name leaving a bad taste in my mouth.

“I knew something was bothering you. Talk to me, doll.”

“I was scrolling through Insta earlier. He’s engaged. I know I shouldn’t care, but I do. Not because I still have feelings for him, but because she is, was, my friend, and I don’t want him to do to her what he did to me.” I explained to him.

“That’s understandable, Pey, but people gotta make their own mistakes. Mandy knows what he did to you and she still said yes, so that’s on her.” Kenny said, ever the voice of reason.

I nodded in agreement with him, knowing he was right. I needed to focus on my new path, my new future.

“Peyton!” Cody called from a distance, Brandi following him. It was time.

Cody stood, center ring, proudly. He had won the TNT title at Double or Nothing. He went on about how he was issuing an open challenge every Wednesday.

I stood nervously behind the curtain, waiting for my cue. I was about to make my debut. My life has been a little crazy since I left WWE behind, but definitely for the better. 

As an avid Fall Out Boy fan, I had struck a deal to have my favorite song as my entrance music. I had been using it for most of my career. The music hit, the crowd went crazy. “Holy Hell, that music can only mean one person. The sister of the American Nightmare. That’s Peyton Rhodes!” JR yelled into his mic as I strolled down the ramp, ignoring the crowd. “Peyton” chants filled the arena as I made my way to the squared circle. 

“Peyton Rhodes has joined  AEW and the crowd couldn’t be happier,” Excalibur added. I walked around the ring to the time keeper, grabbing a mic from Justin, and strolled on toward the ring. 

The music cut, and Cody was first to speak. "Oh yeah. I guess we didn't announce this but Peyton Rhodes is AEW!" The crowd screamed at Cody's news, chanting "AEW". 

I soaked in the cheers because I knew it was all about to change. I had been a face for most of my pro-wrestling career, and now I finally get to pursue the heel turn my fans had been begging for. I took in a deep breath and adjusted my leather jacket. 

“Oh, Atlanta, shut the hell up!” I groaned into the mic. I revelled in the audible gasp that could be heard. “That’s right. No more sweet ‘Georgia peach’ Peyton Rhodes. I came to AEW to raise hell, and that’s what I’m going to do.” I wandered around the ring, stopping in front of a camera. “I’m sick and tired of wanting your approval. I’m here to get what I want. And I want it all.” I punctuated as I looked dead into the camera.

“Hear that big brother,” I turned and faced Cody, “Hell just arrived in AEW I hope you’re ready.” I gestured to the crowd, “I hope you’re all ready, because if you thought Cody was a nightmare, wait til you see me, the Dream Killer.” I dropped the mic, and rolled out of the ring. The crowd loved it. “Dream Killer” chants echoed in my ears all the way backstage. 

I was greeted by Dustin, Brandi, and Kenny. “That was perfect, Pey, they loved it.” Kenny said as soon as I was in sight. I grinned, running up to him, jumping into his arms for a hug. 

“The crowd loved you. They’ve been hoping for this heel turn since your WWE debut.” Cody said, smiling from ear to ear as he returned to the back after finishing his promo.

“For real, Pey! You pull off the ‘heel’ thing. I can’t wait to work on your wardrobe!” Brandi squealed, embracing me in a dancing hug. “Just think about the shoes, Pey, the shoes.” Brandi was way more excited about the outfits than the actual turn. She had helped me pick the one I was wearing. Black jean shorts, a front-zip black and white crop top, leather jacket, and black boots. 

“I can’t wait to see where this takes me.” I said before we were joined by the rest of The Elite.  

Nick was the first to speak. “Not bad, Rhodes. You might be a better heel than your brother here.” He elbowed Cody in the ribs.

Matt nodded in agreement, “For real Peyton, the crowd was so hyped for that turn.” He said with a soft smile, bringing me in for a quick hug. 

I turned to face everyone. “Thanks guys. All of you. You gave me this chance.” I thanked them, “I promise I won’t let you down.” 

“You’re a great addition to the AEW family.” Adam complimented, “Come on Ken, we got a match to get ready for.” he said before walking away. Kenny gave me one last hug before following him.

Cody and Brandi also parted as she had a segment coming up, leaving me with the Young Bucks. “Come on, Pey, lets celebrate!” We had walked back to catering where some more of the AEW stars were waiting. In the back, I spotted the one person I couldn’t wait to see again. I told The Bucks I’d catch up with them. 

“Jon!” I screamed, almost running to him. When he saw me rushing toward him, he opened his arms, inviting me in for a hug. Hugging him was a blast from the past. 

“Peyton fucking Rhodes. I heard rumors you were coming. Sweetheart, you knocked them dead.” He spoke into my hair. I gave him one more tight squeeze before pulling away. “Well, you look great.” He said, gesturing to my outfit. 

“I’m heel now. Finally.” I boasted. I’ve been waiting for this for the longest time and no one was taking it away from me. Jon and I talked, catching up. I asked about Renee and he lit up. He was happy and that’s all I wanted for him. He was finally able to be the fighting champion everyone knew he could be. 

“What about Seth? What happened? The last time I spoke to him, he said you guys were happy and he had bought a ring.” Jon asked, and it knocked the breath out of me. I knew he would ask, but I wasn’t expecting him to mention a ring. 

“He cheated on me. With Mandy. They’re engaged now.” I said without choking up, which was a good sign. I could see the disappointment well up in Jon’s eyes. 

“You were always too good for him.” I knew he and Seth were still good friends, but I appreciated the words nonetheless. Jon gave me one last hug before he got called away for his match, leaving me alone in catering again. 

I found a table close to a TV so I could watch the end of Kenny and Adam’s match. They were well on their way to becoming tag team champions. I started thinking about what Jon had said about Seth, about him buying a ring. I couldn’t believe it. He was going to ask me to marry him and I would have said yes, had I not found him with Mandy. I was pulled from my thoughts by my phone vibrating. It was Seth. 

I saw your debut. 

You look good. 

You’re gonna be a great heel.

I miss you. 

I wish you would talk to me and let me explain. 

I read and reread the messages a hundred times before replying. 

Okay, Seth. When and where?

[bokutosworld]

third time’s a charm | bokuto koutarou

a/n: posting this in advance hehe happy birthday to my golden boy, sunshine baby, and the best ace, bokuto! i am so. in love with him. thank you furudate-sensei for creating him :’) 

pairing: bokuto x f!reader

wc: 2.4k words of mutual pining and birthday fluff.

summary: bokuto has been wanting to confess his feelings for you, but you take him by surprise.  

--

you met bokuto on your first year in fukurodani. despite being in the same year, you’ve only heard about him through stories told by classmates and friends. he was a powerful spiker, an up-and-coming volleyball ace, and you respected him for that.  

it wasn't until that one rainy day that you met him. classes just finished and you were packing your things when the rain came pouring down. and it was only your luck that you forgot to bring an umbrella that day.

you hadn't realized how long you have been standing in the school entrance, near the shoe lockers, until you heard shuffling beside you. there was bokuto, seated on the doorway and tying his shoes. when he looked up at you, he was grinning from ear to ear - you've heard it was his signature smile - and it seemed to brighten up that rainy and gloomy afternoon.  

'hey! wanna come home with me?' he said this so casually that you weren't sure if you heard him right. if anybody heard him, they could easily misinterpret him. he must have noticed that you were looking at him incredulously, 'oy! don't get me wrong! i just figured you didn't have an umbrella and we could maybe share! besides, we're going in the same way!'

how he knew where you lived was a mystery to you. of course, bokuto wouldn't admit that he had his eye on you for a while and that he passed by your classroom earlier, seeing you packing your things and noticed you didn't have an umbrella. you didn't want to question him further, because here he was offering you a safe and dry option to go home. so you accepted, 'i'd like that. thank you...'

'bokuto koutarou! but you can call me bokuto or koutarou. whichever you like really!' it was cute how he fumbled over his words, he hoped you didn't notice that he was too excited to be interacting with you. you smiled, 'thank you, bokuto. i'm y/n.' 

on the walk home, bokuto proved to be a gentleman. his umbrella was big enough to cover the both of you but you noticed him tilting it to your side to make sure you didn't get wet from the rain. you guys made some small talk, catching up on your subjects, how the classes were treating you. you even asked him how volleyball was going for him.

when you finally arrived at your home, you thanked him and even offered to let him inside so he could dry himself. but he was shy and insisted that you can just pay him back at school then he went on his way. you were left standing at your door, wondering what he meant. but you couldn't deny that you were looking forward to getting to know him more.

the following morning, bokuto made his way to your class during lunch. he sat down at your desk, and it was as if you two were best buddies as he chatted with you and told you stories about his morning training. as much as you were surprised, you didn't mind it and indulged him. your classmates were a witness to the blossoming friendship between the two of you.

since that day, you and bokuto were inseparable. from helping him study, accompanying him in his extra trainings, and even going out of your way to make him cute little bentos, you showed him support in the ways you knew possible as his best friend. everyone thought you guys were dating. towards the end of the year, rumors were circulating that you and bokuto are together. you chose to ignore it, not wanting to ruin the wonderful friendship that you two shared.

however, unknown to you, those gossips were sparking something in bokuto. he always thought you were a great person - smart, attractive, kind. the recent talk in school made him realize that he saw you as a woman and he was yearning for something more with you.

so one day, bokuto decided that he was going to confess to you after school. when he dropped you off at your house, he stayed for a few minutes. he stood there in front of you, fidgeting and you thought it was cute. you figured he wanted to say something so you waited. but just as he finally mustered up the courage to say he likes you, the front door opened, revealing your dad. bokuto panicked and looked between you and your dad. 'hello sir! i was just taking her home.' he bowed and his gaze flitted over to you, 'i'll see you tomorrow at school!' and the boy ran away fast, leaving you and your father with confused looks on your faces.  

second year arrived and you guys were closer than ever. however, you were both busy with club activities - you with student council responsibilities and bokuto with trainings and practice matches for the volleyball club.

the two of you saw each other in the hallways, stopping by to hug each other and have conversation before class started. sometimes, you would see each other in the cafeteria where he was often sitting with his team and you with your own group of friends. you would exchange knowing looks across the hall and both your friends would tease you. bokuto was already used to it, but you were always a blushing mess. 

one morning, bokuto came to your the student council room before the classes started. you wondered what he was doing here, 'aren't you supposed to be in morning practice right now?' he smiles, 'yeah! but i wanted to introduce someone to you first!' he moves to the side and reveals a boy. it turns out the boy is named akaashi, a first year member of the volleyball club. he was a setter and bokuto was overly excited, complimenting him nonstop about his skills and how he makes a great addition to the team. akaashi was flattered, almost bashful, and you were amused seeing bokuto so fond of the younger boy.

easy to say, the introduction of akaashi also meant that your duo became a trio. much to bokuto's delight, you and akaashi got along so well. despite him being a year lower than you, you interacted with him comfortably. often, you would wait for the two boys to finish practice so the three of you can go home together. in between walks home, you would stop by cafes to try new food and drinks.

and being the observant person that he is, akaashi saw through the feelings that you and bokuto shared and he was puzzled as to why the both of you weren't still a couple. there were boys in his class who were asking him about you, if he can introduce them to you. but he would always politely turn them down, respecting the closeness of your relationship with bokuto.

there was a day when you had to skip on going home with them. you messaged them saying you had to stay back for student council duties. and as much bokuto and akaashi would have liked to wait for you, they had game tomorrow and had to rest to be in good condition so they went head. the walk was silent and akaashi was wondering if bokuto was on one of his moods. however, his worries were quickly dispelled when the older boy turned to him and asked, 'do you like y/n?' it surprised him but at the same time, akaashi found it amusing.

'no, bokuto-san. i believe y/n already has her eye on someone else.' he gave bokuto a knowing and encouraging look. 'you should try confessing to her. it wouldn't hurt letting her know about your feelings,' akaashi advised.

when bokuto settled in his home, he mulled over what akaashi told him. he wasn't that oblivious to recognize the many boys who were looking at you and wanting to make a move. it always crushed his heart whenever he thought he could lose you and your friendship once you entered a relationship. he knew he had to make his move, but he also knew how you were getting busy lately with student council. he didn't want to add to your stress, and to be honest, he was at the point of his volleyball career where he had to focus all his time on the sport. entering a relationship now when you were both busy would be futile. so in the meantime, he thought he'd wait for the right time and pushed back any plans to confess.

finally, you and bokuto were on your last year in high school. he made a promise to himself that he would properly ask you out before graduation. and it was like the gods of matchmaking and love were on his side as the two of you were finally on the same class!

he was thrilled, running up to you to hug you on the first day of school. he thought about the many opportunities he had to finally ask you the question. however, as seniors, there was the looming responsibilities of college entrance exams and last volleyball matches that kept you two busy.

often bokuto would whine to you in class, 'y/n!!!!!!!! why do i not see you anymore? this is torture.' you would always laugh at his dramatic ass, and to your classmates it was a sight to see the ace looking for your attention. yet much as you wanted to spend time with him, you had papers to help file for the council and exams to prepare for. but as his best friend, you would often make it up to him, going to his games to support him and giving him notes that he needed for the classes he missed. you were even helping him study for his own college exams on weekends.

your parents were getting concerned, worried that you were spending too much time outside on weekends instead of resting home. one time, before you left, your mom stopped you, 'why are you doing all this for bokuto? he's perfectly capable on his own, you know.' you stopped, remembering all the times bokuto would run to you for help on a subject, the times when he would call you to ask about a question. you liked how he depended on you, and deep inside you knew that a part of you depended on him too. you knew that if he decided to stop talking to you, he would be taking a piece of you with him.

you didn't get to answer your mother, only smiled at her as you left home for bokuto. but ideas were already swimming in your mind. you wanted to be with him for as long as god would allow you. if bokuto hadn't realized your feelings for him yet, you were going to take matters into your own hands.

which was how you found yourself on the school rooftop on the day of his birthday. today, you were going to confess. you spent weeks planning the event, even asking akaashi for help. you needed the younger boy to ask the coach to excuse bokuto in training and luckily, the coach agreed.

bokuto was confused as to why he was being excused, but only got an instruction from akaashi to go to the rooftop. so with hesitant steps, he went upstairs. when he got to the top floor, bokuto knocked on the door before opening it, revealing a surprised you as laid out the drinks and homemade food on the picnic blanket.

'what is going on here?' he arrived too soon for your liking and you were flustered. you hadn't finished setting up the plates yet, haven't even set up the music on your phone. but bokuto stepped forward, 'is this...'

you jumped up, extending your arms around your head and shouted, 'happy birthday, bokuto!' he stood still for a minute, digesting what was happening then he was walking towards you and scooping you up on your feet in an embrace.

the two of you laughed as he twirled you around, 'bokuto! stop, i'm gonna get dizzy!' when he put you down, he looked at you affectionately, 'thank you so much for this! you are the best!' and without missing a beat, you said, 'i love you, bokuto.'

you saw as his eyes grew wide, stepping a few feet away from you and you dreaded that he was going to reject you. he was walking in circles now and you were getting anxious for the lack of reply. so you went to him, grabbed him by the shoulders to stop him in tracks. 'did you hear what i said?'

he nodded, but still kept silent. you continued, 'well, are you just going to ignore that?' you were unfair, bokuto thought. he pouted and looked down to avoid your gaze, 'but i wanted to be the one to say it first.' now it was your turn to be shocked, and before you knew it you were moving closer to give him his gift.

your hands on his cheeks and the touch of your lips on his caught bokuto by surprise. it took him a while to register it but here you were, the love of his life, kissing him. seconds passed and he was kissing you back, he put his hands on your waist, pulling you closer and deepening the kiss. he moved one hand to caress your cheek lovingly.

when he pulled away, he gave you a peck on the forehead. smirking, he declared, 'be my girlfriend?'

you wrapped your arms around his neck, standing on your tiptoes to kiss his nose, 'i have been waiting for you to say that.' this time he blushed, hiding his face in the crook of your neck and he thought about what did he do to deserve you.

'this is the best birthday ever.'

[peaches-writes]

a hundred days of seo - of all places (pt. 1)

member: changbin but this part is dedicated to besties hyunlix bc i said so  wc: 1.2k genre: fluff, angst, enemies to lovers au, roommates to lovers au, childhood friends to lovers au, neighbor au, college au, eventual friends to lovers au, slow burn, some besties seunghyunlix action hehe chapter warnings: explicit language, mentions of alcohol note: anon! the roommates part comes later pinky promise!

readers choose the adventure game! mechanics | requests checklist & series masterlist 

parts: prologue | part 2 (coming soon!) 

“If you guys really love me—” You groan exaggeratedly with furrowed brows, climbing up your wonkiest living room chair with a broom in your hand and violently tapping the ceiling with its handle end. In front of you, your two best friends are quick to approach closer with their hands outstretched in your direction in surprise and worry—Hyunjin, in particular, going as far as letting out a dramatic cry for you to come down which you simply ignore in your annoyance. “If you idiots care about my well-being, you wouldn’t go to this stupid party or, better yet, you would’ve made him take it somewhere else in the first place!” 

“But it’s Changbin’s birthday! As much as you’re our friend, he’s also our friend.” Felix pouts, cautiously taking two more steps closer to you and placing his hands around the chair’s head rest to steady you. “And it’s not that wild this time, just close friends!”

You fiercely glare down at the younger boy, making him gulp and flinch. Gesturing up to your ceiling and the muffled rock music, you then ask, “This is ‘just close friends’? Whatever, I don’t care! I need to study in peace and this isn’t helping me at all!” You protest, hitting the ceiling a few more times for good measure before jumping down the chair. Felix jumps as well and tightens his grip on the chair, scolding you under his breath for being reckless while Hyunjin finally beelines closer to your side and asks you if you’re okay. “Ya, Hwang Hyunjin, don’t you need to study too? We’re in the same Lit class!” 

“We’ve been studying the whole day, dumbass. We’ve literally studied the whole syllabus down for today! Tsk. Chill...” He points out, dusting off the imaginary dirt off of your pajamas in between warning you not to jump off chairs again. “Anyway, why don’t you just go with us? I saw the invite on your DMs! Just swipe a drink and go or something. You look like you need it—“

You redirect your glare at him who doesn’t waver, clearly your longer friend between him and Felix. “I have other things to do and we’re not friends. That jerk and I, I mean.” You grit stubbornly between your teeth. “He’s just stuck to me like a leech because of you two and Seungmin.”

“What’s worse is that he’s my neighbor starting this semester,” You quickly add before Hyunjin could argue back with another one of his bratty remarks. “I’ve seriously had enough of this guy. I’m definitely not giving myself more headache to go on his stupid birthday party!”

“But it’s free drinks?” Felix tries this time with a raised brow, making you slap a hand to your forehead.

“No. I already told you: the drinks aren’t worth it if it’s him offering.” You shake your head firmly, groaning and rolling your eyes when the muffled music intensifies above your heads as if in dramatic cue. 

“Why aren’t you even friends in the first place?” Hyunjin huffs, crossing his arms as if challenging you. “Seungmin won’t say anything, Changbin always changes the subject, and you’re always mad whenever we do as much as inhale to say Changbin’s name.”

The question sets you off even more, making you groan. “Just because! I really don’t like him, that’s all you need to know!” Sighing in defeat, you then push the two away from you and towards the direction of your door. “Ugh, I guess you three have chosen to be traitors to me tonight. Say hi to Seungmin for me if he turns up, I guess. He hasn’t dropped by so he’s probably gonna be late from tutoring or something. Damn it...” 

“Y/N!!!” The two pout at the same time, not even making efforts to stop you from pushing them across the floor and out of your mini communal area.

“Don’t be mad, please.” Felix adds with his best puppy eyes.

“We’ll tell Changbin to turn it down, then, swear!” Hyunjin adds after, nodding along with Felix in agreement. “And we’ll be civil tonight! Less drinks for us and no drunk stopovers here later, promise—“

“You said that a month ago at Changbin’s housewarming part 1 then two weeks ago at Changbin’s housewarming part 2. Not to mention when you stupidly stopped by my house drunk off your ass both ti—“

“Yeah, yeah, but that’s why Felix’s gonna remind me this time! Geez, Y/N.” Hyunjin frowns, flicking your forehead before pushing himself off of you and walking to the entrance on his own. “But swear, it’ll be as quiet as the campus library in a moment! We’ll really tell Changbin!”

“I wouldn’t even count on it at this point.” You sigh, directing Felix down to your apartment entrance to retrieve his shoes. “Just go, get out of my house. Happy birthday, Changbin or whatever.”

“You want us to pass that along?” Felix’s eyes immediately brighten optimistically while yours blow comically wild in disagreement. As you open your mouth to protest against it, the boy then wears his shoes back on and makes a run for your door. “Okay, Y/N, I’ll text you later what he’ll say!”

“Felix, no!” You call out for him helplessly, approaching Hyunjin who follows along haphazardly. “Ya! Ya! You fucking traitors!”

The music surprisingly quiets down when you hear Hyunjin’s loud voice upstairs three minutes later. 

The soft ping of your phone over an hour later reminds you of the pain seeping up your neck from looking down on your notes, making you reposition yourself in front of your work desk as more follow in quick succession. Picking up your phone, you immediately hold it away from your lamp as the screen brightens with each message from your best friend. 

seungmo: how’s the party? 

seungmo: running v late! 

seungmo: im walking to ur place now tho !!!

seungmo: soojin gave me a headache today w her homework 😭😭

seungmo: but yeah u & changbin aren’t killing each other yet right? 

seungmo: pls don’t

Sighing, you quickly cap your pen in your other hand and type in a quick reply. 

y/n: i didn’t go

y/n: i actually feel even better now that i didn’t seeing as you still aren’t there

seungmo: why not? 

seungmo: i thought you were coming???

seungmo: that’s why i’m coming? 

seungmo: dude we talked abt this 

seungmo: ur like neighbors now it’s rude if u don’t greet him at least once

seungmo: & u opened the DM from jisung too so???

y/n: y would i go? i hate changbin

y/n: doesn’t mean we’re neighbors now means that i have to greet him we can just co-exist until he gets kicked out or something

When Seungmin uncharacteristically doesn’t lecture you over text about being civil and polite right after, you set your phone down with a scoff on the quick conclusion that he’s probably caught up with crossing the street or the lack of cell service on your building elevator. Sinking in your chair, you look up to the ceiling once, threatening to shake with the heavy bass reverberating from its other side, and heave a long sigh. 

Of all places, you think to yourself in frustration as you then proceed to close your books and notebooks with a sudden migraine creeping up from the back of your head. Of all places, he just had to move here! 

You look over your phone once more as you then stand up from your seat and finish clearing your desk, frowning when no more messages pop up. 

The intercom across the hall, however, decides ping after. 

@skzwriternet

m.list

readers choose the adventure game! mechanics | requests checklist & series masterlist | prologue | part 2 (coming soon!)

[ddeonghwaa]

Moving On (Jaehyun)

Characters: Jaehyun x reader (ft. Johnny)

Genre: angst, fluff

Word count: 3.2k

Hi guys! Here is another Jaehyun imagine that I’ve been writing for a while. I really hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Don’t forget to leave a comment! A short message would make my day :)

The girl who has been chasing him for years, but has never gotten the chance to even date him once. Who? It was you. You have a crush on Jaehyun, who is now one of the most popular guys in school. Throughout your years in middle and high school, you’ve expressed your feelings pretty clearly to Jaehyun, but he never responded. He has never accepted your feelings or rejected them. Other girls who had their shot on Jaehyun would always tease and make fun of you, calling you desperate for his attention.

But what is so wrong about having feelings for someone? Their sneers made you insecure at times, as if they were mocking the feelings you own. But that didn’t stop you from always trying your best to be good to Jaehyun. Always buying him snacks, baking sweet treats for him and giving him presents for his birthday - which coincidentally falls on Valentine’s day. He never rejects your gifts, but he has also never given you a present on your special day. You have been holding on to the small hope of him liking you back someday and that was what has kept you going all these years. 

However, time passes by really quickly and now both of you are in college. Thinking back about the efforts you have put to impress Jaehyun all these years made you laugh at yourself. Maybe it was finally time that you realise, he’ll never like you back because you never got an answer from him. 

You sighed and talked to your reflection in the mirror, “Y/n, it’s time for you to move on. Meet new people in college. Strive in your studies. The world doesn’t revolve around Jaehyun.”

It was quite hard for you at first, especially when you knew he was going to the same college as you. But thank god you were in a different department than him. 

“So y/n, pretty sure you heard that Jaehyun goes to the same college as us, right? Are you going to shoot him a shot again?” Sophie asked playfully and nudged your arm. She was the only one who stayed with you when all the other girls in school looked down on you. She claimed that she would know how you feel if she had someone she liked too. 

You laughed and shook your head, “Nah. I told you I’ve moved on. I feel like I’ve been making a fool out of myself in the past.”

“I think I’ve heard that before, but I’ve never seen you this passionate about moving on. I’ll see you after class? We need to go shopping for bags soon!” Sophie bid goodbye and you returned the wave with a smile. “See you!”

Your next class was scheduled to be in an hour, so you decided to head to a cafe near your college. You had your earphones on and decided to just spend your free hour in the cafe, reading some books you’ve brought along. When you entered the cafe, you saw two familiar faces sitting there as customers. Just when you thought you could escape Jaehyun in college, there he was, sitting in the seat near the window, looking so perfect- with his friend Johnny. 

You acted like you didn’t see him but unfortunately Johnny didn’t get the hint. “Hey y/n! Over here!” He called as he waved his hands to let you see where they were sitting. 

“Oh no, Johnny. WHY must you do this to me?!” You muttered under your breath and put on an awkward smile while heading towards them. 

“Hey, Johnny,” you faked a smile to him and turned your sight to Jaehyun. He smiled and nodded to you as a sign of acknowledging your presence. You awkwardly smiled back and turned to Johnny again. “Y/n, I’ve been looking all day in college for you because I heard you go to this college too. It’s been a tough task as if you’ve been avoiding me, but we finally meet here in the cafe, huh?” Johnny took a sip of his daily coffee.

“Well yeah I was planning to stay away from you,” you unconsciously answered. 

“What? Really?” Johnny stared at you in shock, clearly looking offended at what you just said. “No! That’s not what I meant. Um, I..I mean, not you, specifically. Nevermind, just ignore what I said.” You noticed Jaehyun’s stare on you and it made you uncomfortable. “I’ll get going first. Gonna grab a drink and go to class. See you guys soon, I guess.”

You gave them a small smile and saw Jaehyun returning it with his dimpled smile. The dimples you have always been whipped for.

You walked away from their table and exhaled in relief. “Phew, I never knew getting over someone was this hard.” You hit your head as you thought about how handsome Jaehyun looked, how he was dressed like a college boyfriend….

Snap out of it, y/n! You’re moving on!

You shook your head and waved the thoughts away. 

-

The days passed by and you realised it was getting easier for you to get over your crush on Jaehyun because you didn’t see him as often. You managed to avoid him on campus whenever you saw him from afar, because too much interaction with him might ruin your plan of moving on. That day, rain decided to pay you a whole day visit.

You were on your way to college with your bag, umbrella and earphones in your ears, listening to your rainy day playlist. You took a glimpse of your phone screen to look at the time and couldn’t help but notice the date. 

14th of February.

A date you would always look forward to. A date when you actually put in more effort than your own birthday. 

It was Jaehyun’s birthday and you were surprised at yourself for not preparing anything for him this time. On top of that, you didn’t even realise it was his birthday already. It has been like a ritual for you every year to prepare gifts for Jaehyun since middle school, but that day, it was different. 

You had an hour left before your class starts so you went to the cafe to get a cup of iced chocolate. The cafe was half filled with people and you noticed a familiar figure. You saw Jaehyun sitting by the window again, alone this time, with a few boxes of chocolates on the table. You chuckled to yourself.

Right, it wouldn’t even make a difference if I actually got him something. He received plenty from others. 

You headed to the cashier to order your drink and paid for it. While waiting for your drink to be ready, you scrolled your phone, killing time. Suddenly, you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned and had the biggest surprise of your 20 years of living. “Jae…Jaehyun? Hi.”

Jaehyun chuckled at your reaction and replied, “Hey, y/n. Iced chocolate, huh?”

Your iced chocolate was served then and you thought it was your lifesaver. “Oh, my drink is ready. I’ll go now, bye.” You tried to escape from Jaehyun because his presence was making you panic and you didn’t know what to do.

“Wait!” Jaehyun held your wrist. You turned crimson as you stared at his hands on your wrist, and back at him. “Oh sorry,” He released your wrist when he realised he was probably holding onto it too hard. He then scratched the back of his head awkwardly and said, “Um, I thought I could just ask you a question before you go.”

“Hm? What is it?” You asked, as you poked a straw in your takeaway drink. He has never approached you to ask a question before. Weird. 

“Uh… Don’t you have anything to give me? It’s a special day.” 

You blinked in confusion, “W-what?”

“Wow, for the first time ever, you forgot about this day?” Jaehyun asked, his face portraying a look you couldn’t decipher. Was he surprised? Hurt? Relieved? You could not tell.

You sighed and closed your eyes. To tell someone that you are no longer interested in them is never an easy job, especially when he has never treated you badly. How should you put your words politely to not hurt him? After contemplating for a while on whether you should just be honest with him or not, you decided that you should just come clean with him.

“Jaehyun, listen. I know I’ve been chasing you my whole life and it probably made you uncomfortable. I’m sorry about that and if you’re asking this question to make fun of me, then you probably shouldn’t,” you bit your lower lip, hesitating whether to continue or not. “I’ve shown how I feel towards you for so many years and you didn’t give me an answer, not even once. So I thought that maybe it’s hard for you to reject me without hurting my feelings and I didn’t want to pressure you into liking me when you actually don’t. I’ll admit that I’m trying to avoid you now in college to get over my stupid little crush on you, so will you please, help me move on and continue ignoring me?”

Jaehyun calmly listened to what you have said, still keeping his eyes on you. He did not say a word and just stared at you blankly. 

You felt a sense of guilt after exploding to him on his special day. “I-I’m sorry, Jaehyun. I shouldn’t have bursted out like that,” you awkwardly tapped his shoulder, “Happy birthday, Jaehyun. I hope you have a great birthday. I’m sorry for not buying you anything this year, although I’m pretty sure it doesn’t affect you in any way. B-bye.”

Emptiness started to fill your heart as you said those words to him. Never have you imagined not getting any presents for his birthday, it did feel weird but you thought it was a good first step to moving on from Jaehyun. You walked away two steps from him when you heard him say a soft thank you, “Thanks y/n, for remembering my birthday,” You turned to look at him, clearly confused as to why he would say that when he has received tons of gifts today. “What do you mean?”

“I get chocolates every time on Valentine’s Day, but no one really ever wished me a happy birthday,” he shrugged, “except you,” he weakly smiled at you, his eyes turning into a crescent, but this time they looked sad compared to his usual eye smile. “I’d look forward to this day every year to see what you’ll get me, because you’re the only one who gets me gifts for my birthday, and not just Valentine’s Day.”

You felt your heart skip a beat. “Jaehyun.”

A wave of guilt washed over you as you approached him, “Jae-”

“It’s okay, don’t feel bad,” he interrupted and tried to laugh it off, but you could still feel the hint of sadness in his chuckle. “Do you mind having a talk with me?” You nodded and he led you to the table he was sitting at previously. The two of you awkwardly took a seat as you placed your drink on the table. 

“Um, don’t you have any plans with your friends or family today?” you asked, trying to break the ice. He chuckled and shook his head, “Nah, didn’t feel like it today. Besides, they are all busy with school and work.”

Way to go in making things worse, y/n!

You cleared your throat, “Oh I see.” Your hands reached for your drink as you took a sip of the sweet, chocolate cold drink. “So what was this about? Getting over your little crush on me?” Jaehyun asked with a playful smile, making you almost choke on your drink.

“Jaehyun, I swear if you’re trying to make fun of me about it, I’ll kick your ass.”

“Wow, easy there,” he opened a box of chocolates and popped one into his mouth. “To tell you the truth, I’ve always known about your feelings for me,” he paused, “And I purposely didn’t give you an answer.”

You tilted your head to the side, “Why?”

He sighed and bit his bottom lip, “If I rejected you then I wouldn’t be able to see you anymore because you’d be embarrassed and stop chasing after me. On the other hand, I didn’t accept your feelings because I was afraid of admitting that I had feelings for you too. I know for a fact that people will start making fun of me and you if it happened.”

Silence.

“What are you saying?” 

“I like you too, y/n.”

You scoffed at what you just heard and furrowed your brows. “You’re such a coward, Jung Jaehyun.”

You didn’t know what got into you but you were there, blurting out things to him. Throughout the years of liking Jaehyun, never once did you think of stopping just because you were scared of what others would say. Their words did hurt you, no doubt, but you were still pursuing your sincere feelings for him. And now, a dream come true was laid out in front of you, your longtime crush saying he likes you back, but why is it that you feel so hurt and disappointed rather than happy?

Jaehyun widened his eyes and stared at you, confused. Definitely not the reaction he was expecting. “I’ve been chasing after you for so many years not knowing when to stop because you never gave me an answer. And now, right when I am finally trying to move on from you, you come at me with this ‘I like you too’?” 

He looked surprised and tried to answer you but you interrupted, “You cared more about what others think of you than your own feelings?” Your eyes started to tear up but you refused to let them fall and looked at him for one last time before leaving the cafe, 

“Do you really like me or do you finally feel empty because there isn’t anyone desperately chasing after you anymore?”

-

The scene where you left the cafe after the conversation the two of you had kept replaying in Jaehyun’s head. He realised how much he had hurt you because of his own selfish feelings and thoughts. You were brave enough to tell the world how much you adored him but why couldn’t he do the same for you? Why was he so tied down to what others have to say about him?

He messed up his own hair and banged his head on the table. Johnny who was sitting next to him looked at him and nudged his arm. “What’s with you, dude? Got rejected by a girl or something?” Jaehyun’s head shot up as he glared at Johnny. Johnny blinked and leaned closer, “Really? Are you serious? Did y/n reject you?” 

Johnny listened closely to Jaehyun’s explanation of what had happened between the two of you and let out a sigh. “I mean, I do understand her. You were kind of… a jerk,” he shrugged as Jaehyun groaned, “I know. I’m such a jerk. Thanks for pointing out the obvious.”

“But try making up to her, apologise for faults on your part and ask for another chance.”

That day, Jaehyun became determined to make things right with you. He immediately made his way to your department and looked for your lecture hall. Yes, he checked your schedule and the lecture halls you had to be in. After rounds of looking around, he finally found the lecture hall you were currently having your class in. Five more minutes before you finish class and his heart was beating so loudly while he stood near the exit door. 

When the door finally opened, students came out one by one, some staring at him weirdly while others just didn’t care. It felt like eternity until you finally exited the hall with your friend, chuckling at what she just said. Your chuckle halted as you turned to see who was standing in front of you. Your friend bid you goodbye and you were left alone with Jaehyun. Again.

“Y/n, I need to talk to you. Please hear me out,” he spoke softly, awkwardly avoiding eye contact because he was not ready to see how your reaction will be. “I don’t think I have anything to say anymore to you,” you replied with a cold look. “But sure, I’ll let you speak for the last time, so stop bothering me after this.”

Jaehyun looked up into your eyes, “I just want to say that I’m sorry. I admit that it was my fault because I cared too much about the words of others rather than my own feelings and yours. I don’t remember when I started liking you, but I am confident enough to tell you that it was even before we entered college. I was so scared of losing you that I thought it was better for our relationship to stay like how it was. That was, until you told everyone you were getting over me, I felt so sad because I knew things would end even before it started.”

He paused to see your expression, but your face did not change, “I really do like you and I am not saying this because ‘I feel empty there’s no one chasing after me’. It’s because I’m just that dumb and I’m a coward for not being able to express my feelings for you before this. I’m really sorry for hurting you all these years and I appreciate every single thing you’ve done for me. Will you give me another chance to make things right?”

You stared at him and took a deep breath. He waited for you to say something, but nothing came out. “Y/n? Talk to me, please.”

You bit your lower lip and took a while before parting your lips to give him an answer, “Okay, I’ll give you another chance. And I’m also sorry for being mad at you on your birthday the other day,” you said.

Jaehyun felt relieved and jumped on his spot. “Thank you, y/n! Don’t worry about that, a jerk like me deserved it.”

His dimples appeared as he watched a smile creeping up your face. “I got you something,” he reached out for something in his bag and took out a box, beautifully tied with a ribbon. “I’ve been such an ungrateful jerk who never returns your gifts, so I hope you’d like this first gift from me. Open it.” He handed you the box and you whispered a soft thank you. You untied the ribbon and gently opened the box to see a small star necklace. “Jae-”

“Here, I’ll help you put it on,” he took the necklace and put it around your neck, hooking the ends together. The necklace falls beautifully on your chest and you took a closer look at it. “Do you like it?”

You smiled and gave a small nod, “It’s beautiful.”

Jaehyun’s lips lifted from both sides and he offered out his hand, “Can I hold your hand, y/n?” You turned red and felt heat creeping up your cheeks, but you nodded in response. Jaehyun cheekily took your hand and intertwined fingers together. “Let’s go eat!”

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