#and that requires a little dumbassery at the beginning

[separatist-apologist]

Still A Sunbeam

Summary: As a child, Elain Archeron is pushed into a pond by the heir to the Day Courts throne, Lucien Spell-Cleaver, and vows she'll never forgive him for it. But as an adult, Elain finds that if she wants out of an arranged marriage to a Spring Court prince, she will need Day Court's help. More is at stake than a decades-old rivalry, and when their home is threatened, Elain and Lucien will have to set aside old differences and work together

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Read on AO3

Smoothing things over with Killian was surprisingly simple. Elain brought him directly to her bedchamber, sat him on an elegant couch, and offered him her widest, brightest smile. Ordinarily, Killian was no fool. He was hard to manipulate, cunning and suspicious even under the best of circumstances. Elain understood that granting him access to where she slept softened those instincts. Killian was on alert, but for wholly different reasons. His leg bounced up and down beside her, green eyes darting toward the archway where her bed lay, clearly wondering if she might let him in there, too.

If she slept with him, he’d claim her so thoroughly she’d never escape him. Fae males were territorial and Killian was certainly no exception. This would be delicate—practice for Summer. 

“What ah…” he cleared his throat, clearly rethinking whatever he’d been about to ask. “You and the Day Court prince—”

“Lucien?” she asked, unable to keep the derision from her voice. Killain’s shoulders relaxed ever so slightly. 

“He seems—”

“Arrogant?” she supplied, thinking of how he’d shook her. “Spoiled?”

“Possessive,” Killian said, twisting just enough to look at her. “When you fell, he snarled at me.”

“Well, I assure you it has nothing to do with hidden affection,” Elain told him honestly. “His mother has made him swear to start being nice.”

A muscle worked itself in Killian’s jaw. “Elain, if you wish to learn more of Prythians politics…I could instruct you.”

“I need to be away,” Elain told him gently, placing her hand on his knee. “Both of my sisters have been instructed in other courts.”

Killian shook his head back and forth. “Nesta and Feyre aren’t you.”

“I’ve made a bargain with the Lady of Day,” Elain told him, if only to end this argument before it ever truly began. His expression flattened, shoulders slumping with defeat. 

“Oh?”

“A year of my service,” she murmured, wondering how she’d get out of the obvious affection shining on his face when that year ended. If Killian suspected that Elain had made that bargain specifically to avoid him or he thought that was a normal thing not worth questioning, he didn’t say.

“So I am to share you with Day Court?” he all but whispered instead as he scooted closer. Elain felt too tight and out of her depth. His eyes were fixated on her mouth as his hand came to caress her cheek. Elain knew what was coming and knew pulling back would be a mistake. More than anything, Killian had to believe nothing was amiss. That she had fainted from the heat and over exerting herself. 

But as he came closer, dragging the scent of dew coated grass and a lilac wind, all Elain could think was don’t–not like this.

Not with you. 

But it was Killian’s mouth pressed against her own a mere moment later. The kiss was soft—polite and sweet and, if she was honest, not terrible, either. As far as first kisses went, it could have been far worse.

And still, much, much better. 

It pacified him, if nothing else. When Killian pulled back, triumph blazed in his pine colored eyes. “I’ll wait,” he whispered, thumb sweeping across her cheek. Dread pooled low in her gut because Elain believed he would. He’d wait, like he’d been doing her entire life. What was a year in the scheme of immortality? 

She was beginning to believe she’d never escape the fate barrelling down—that she could delay it a few years before Killian swept in like the golden prince he was and finally, finally made her his wife. 

Elain nodded, hoping she looked appropriately shy. 

Killian swallowed, and then kissed her again. There was just the faintest amount of urgency to his mouth, to how his lips were moving against her own. He tasted warm and bright and when his teeth nipped at her bottom lip, Elain couldn’t stop the gasp of air from rising from her throat.

Killian pressed his advantage, his tongue sweeping into her mouth with the softest groan of pleasure. 

Elain couldn’t pretend the shock of his tongue on hers, stroking gently, wasn’t doing something to her, too. Her eyes fluttered close as she gave way to instinct and allowed herself to enjoy the heat coiling in her chest. Kissing was nice, pleasant even. Elain was warm, and when Killian pressed closer, she didn’t care to stop him.

 No one had ever touched her like this and despite it being Killian, she found she wanted him to keep going. She liked when he pressed his knee between her legs or when he began to push her backward into the couch. His kisses had become deeper, almost frantic in their urgency. Like he needed to do this before something shifted.

Elain’s mind was pleasantly blank, wholly focused on being kissed. Maybe, she reasoned with herself, marriage wouldn’t be so terrible. If they could do this, at least, maybe—

A loud thudding on the door pulled Elain from her traitorous thoughts. A growl slipped from Killian’s teeth, but he pulled back all the same. She could see the outlining bulge straining in his pants. It was enough to turn her cold. One kiss and she became mindless with lust? Ready to let him claim her and ruin all her careful plans? Elain hated that she could scent not just his arousal, but her own, and hated all the more that Killian was smelling it, too. His eyes were dark with want even as he adjusted himself, the picture of a courtly gentleman while Elain quickly stood. Her head was throbbing again, reminding her that she needed to lay down and shake off the vision of bloodied, feral Lucien.

She went to the door to find Arina on the other end. “Are you—” Arina’s nostrils flared. Her eyes widened as she looked over Elain’s shoulder to find Killian sitting cross-legged on the couch. Elain didn’t dare look back.

“Am I…?” she prodded.

“Busy?” Arina asked. “I—something has happened with the Autumn princes and I could use some respite.”

A heavy sigh sounded behind her. Elain closed her eyes as Killian’s boots clipped over the marble. His fingers ghosted over her bare shoulders as he said, “Go. I should meet with Helion while I’m here.”

Arina’s eyes flashed, as if to say, she doesn’t need your permission. 

Elain twisted, tilting her face so when Killian’s lips came back to her face, they only touched her cheek. 

“I’ll see you later,” he murmured, squeezing her slightly. Elain offered him an easy smile and then was gone, freed of his touch and her traitorous body’s response. Arina, a female Elain just barely knew, and hardly knew well, reached for Elain’s wrist to propel her faster. 

Arina was pale, and when Elain jogged closer, swore she smelled the familiar, metallic tang of fear. Fear and something else—something warm and comforting like the smoke of a bonfire curling toward a crisp, star freckled sky. Coated in amber, like whiskey, and wrapped around Arina’s own vanilla and lime scent Elain was already familiar with. Perhaps she’d been with a male just before the day began and his presence still clung to her skin.

It unsettled Elain, though. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end as though some ancient, primordial part of her recognized that scent and balked—wanting to get far, far away. Elain was breathless, wondering what Arina could possibly want with her even if she was grateful for the interruption. 

“Wait,” Elain said, digging her heels into the smooth marble beneath her for all the good it did—which was none. “Where are we going?”

“I—” Arina took a gulping breath. A host of emotions flickered across Arina’s face before she smoothed it out. Elain waited, gauging her carefully. “Do you want to get a drink with me? In the city, I mean? I have an apartment down there, we could spend the whole evening away from the palace and the drama of Lucien and his brothers.”

Now that was promising. She could avoid Killian the rest of the evening and join in the festivities in the city instead. He could hardly be angry with her over it. After all, he said he had things he needed to accomplish, too. Why should Elain rearrange her schedule?

She didn’t want to be caught alone with him again. He was too clever and Elain too unpracticed. She suspected Killian knew it, too. That he knew exactly how to touch her, exactly where to put his mouth, his fingers, his body, until he’d overridden all her objections. Elain took a breath. She’d agreed to nothing. 

“Yes,” Elain replied, offering Arina another bright smile. She’d power through the throbbing in her skull and her aching bones for the time being. 

“Perfect. Now?” There was nothing keeping Elain given she’d failed in her task of greeting Eris Vanserra. She’d see him another day, ideally with a clear head. Elain felt as though she was messing everything up—bringing Killian to her bedroom was supposed to be Summer Court practice and yet she’d nearly found herself pressed beneath him.

Touching Lucien was supposed to calm him down and instead she’d only made him angrier, had made him hate her more. Maybe the life of an emissary wasn’t for her. Maybe this whole thing was a waste of her time.

“Come on,” Arina said, lacing her fingers with Elain’s. The warm jolt of Arina’s palm pressed against her own was comforting. Elain let Arina tug her forward, clasping hands like the best of friends. A strange yearning punctuated Elain’s thoughts–she’d never had an actual friend. Feyre had Morrigan up in the Night Court and Nesta didn’t seem to care for companionship but Elain did. Elain craved it, and still it eluded her. The ladies in Spring didn’t care to be actual friends, where gossip was always at a premium. If you weren’t careful, you’d find all your secrets used as currency for any number of things. 

Elain couldn’t prove Arina wasn’t that sort of lady, too. It didn’t stop hope from blooming in Elain’s chest when they exploded into the oppressive mid-day heat. Arina looked over her slim, golden shoulder and offered Elain a dazzling smile.

Elain compared the hope welling in her chest to how she’d felt when Killian had been kissing her.

There was no comparison. 

LUCIEN:

“What would it take to make Arina my wife?” Lucien asked his father without preamble. His mother looked up sharply from her place in front of the vanity while his father pinched the bridge of his nose.

“An act of the Mother goddess herself, Lucien.” “Since when do you have feelings for Arina?” his mother questioned, setting her hairbrush aside so she could turn fully to look at him.

Never, he thought despondently. Marriage to Arina was a shackle for them both. They’d have to give up their fun at court, would have to sell their marriage as a love so great it trumped a mating bond. Centuries of pretending, even. A life wasted and the chance for what his parents had gone—and Lucien was willing to risk it, all the same.

“She’s not fit to be a Day Court princess?” Lucien demanded instead, crossing his arms over his chest. Helion looked as if he might explode, having entertained all four of Beron’s terrible sons all day. It was clear he had no patience reserved for his own.

“No, Lucien, she sure as fuck isn’t given Eris reeks of her scent.”

His mother’s brows shot toward her hairline. 

“Do you think I’m stupid?” His father pressed, twisting at the golden cuff along his bicep. “I’m not starting a war over this. Not again.”“So Eris just gets to claim her?” Lucien demanded.

His fathers eyes flashed gold. “She’s still my subject. She can reject the bond—but have you considered, in all your infinite wisdom, that she may very well decide to accept it?”

“No.” Lucien said it flatly, ignoring how his mother’s eyes were so bright and glassy.

“Eris has a mate?” she asked, her bottom lip trembling. Not with fear or disgust, but happiness. 

It burned Lucien how much his mother still loved the Vanserra’s. They didn’t deserve her affection, her hopes—her anything. 

His fathers expression sharpened dangerously. Do not ruin this for your mother. 

Lucien couldn’t stand it. Turning on his heel, he left his parents to hash out what would happen with Arina, knowing full well he’d drag her to the temple and marry her in secret if he had to. Lucien blew out a breath, slamming the chamber doors behind him loud enough his fathers echoing snarl warned him to act grown and not like a child. It didn’t help that Killian was just around the corner reeking of Elain. Lucien didn’t know why her scent coating his skin bothered him so much.

Perhaps he was just spoiling for a fight. He glanced toward the Spring Court prince, stalking away in the direction of Elain’s bedroom. Fine. What did he care, anyway? To involve himself was to imply something might be happening between them and the last thing Lucien needed was doe-eyed Elain clinging to him.

Lucien prowled out into the night, rolling his shoulders in an attempt to feel a little normalcy. The humid air clung to him while a warm sea breeze ruffled his hair. 

Hello prince, it seemed to say. 

Lucien’s life was quickly falling apart around him. He was angry—moody and on edge which was unlike him. Rash, and impulsive like an untested male. More than that, though, was a restlessness that had crept through him, rumbling through his too hot blood until he wanted to scratch at his skin. 

Disappointing his parents felt like the ultimate failure. Even Eris managed to stay in his mothers good graces—but his father was so clearly at the end of his rope with Lucien. How long before they sent him away, like so many other High Lords did with their sons? Some test to humble Lucien, to make him appreciate all he’d been given? He’d heard what the High Lord of Night had done to his heir and was certain he didn’t want to be involved in anything half so grueling. 

Lucien took a breath of air and began making his way down the path cutting toward the sprawling city of Rhodes. Lights illuminated the dark, making it seem as though the sun had never truly set—which it would stop doing in a couple months during the longest parts of the summer. Music overtook his senses, drowning out even his angry, self-loathing thoughts. Instead, his heart began jumping in time with the beat. The smell of sweat and liquor hung in the air, exciting him more than he was willing to admit.

Down here, Lucien was no one important. He began weaving through throngs of people mingling and dancing and kissing for the city square where the majority of the people and festivities were being held. Lucien wanted to be in the thick of things. He wanted to lose himself to wine and music until he was little more than a fanged creature—until he could convince himself to slink back home and apologize to his parents.

Again. 

Tables lined the sidewalk, squashed between shops and restaurants still open for business. Brightly colored awnings fluttered beneath strung up fae lights, illuminating the sandstone stress beneath. Musicians played while people danced and drank or sat around eating and talking—all celebrating his mother, who they loved. Lucien snatched up a cup from a grinning woman selling them for a coin and had been about to prowl about for suitable company when a flash of gold caught his attention.

Arina, right in the thick of things, was dancing. Not with a male and certainly not his brother—but Elain, who lacked all of Arina’s easy, swaying rhythm. Judging from the flush on Elain’s face and Arina’s open mouthed laughter, the pair were drunk. Lucien smiled before turning for a decanter of cold water and a lot of food. He managed to snag one of the last tables, spreading out his offerings before darting for the crowd. If he was gone too long a crime of opportunity would occur, and he’d only brought so many coins with him. 

It was easy enough to drag Arina off the ground, hauling her up onto his shoulder before she could stop him. He ignored Elain entirely, still grinning when Arina’s fists collided with his bare back.

“Lucien!” she barked, for all the good it did her. He plunked Arina down in a chair, feeling slightly guilty when he caught sight of Elain hovering at the edge of the crowd. Sighing, he gestured for her to come sit, certain he’d regret letting her tag along. He didn’t want to be too close to her. Not when her very presence set the hair on his arm standing on edge.

“You’re an ass, Lucien,” Arina breathed, pulling Elain’s chair closer to her own. “I’m trying to avoid Vanserras.” Elain’s expression lifted, eyes bouncing between the pair of them.

“I’m not a Vanserra,” he reminded her.

“Oh, but you look like one,” Arina said drunkenly, unaware of what a blade her words were. Elain’s eyes snapped to his face, her lips parted as she recognized what a blow that was. Arina didn’t notice, chugging a glass of the water Lucien had brought. It was humiliating to be subjected to Elain’s pity and worse to know that Arina was avoiding him because he looked like Eris after Lucien had just asked his father to marry her. 

Was he stupid? 

He started to rise, for all Arina cared. Turning, he didn’t know where he planned to go or even what he wanted to do. Only that he needed to get away before he said something he couldn’t take back.

“Hey—wait!” 

Elain caught up with him despite her short stature. She looked as if she might grab him before she thought better of it. Lucien reached for her bare arm, curling his fingers around her skin. It wasn’t like before—her eyes widened, but there was no gasp of fear, no immediate collapse to the floor. So much for the theory that he’d brought on her vision.

It was just bad luck. Lucien withdrew his hand, uncomfortable and taut with her sweat soaked skin beneath his palm. 

“What do you want?” he asked, staring down at her. Elain was—well, she was stunning in the moonlight. Bright and alive in a way he didn’t think he’d ever seen, and the scent of salt combined with the flush over her tan skin was making Lucien too aware of how close she was to him. 

He still remembered how he’d come to the image of the curious eyes peering up at him. “What was that all about?” she asked him breathlessly.

He sneered. “Did she not tell you? I suppose you’re not as good of friends as you thought.”

“Jealousy is ugly on you,” Elain snapped. “It was just a question.”

“What’s going on with you and Killian?” he demanded, the words tumbling out before he could stop them. Fuck, what was wrong with him? 

Elain shrugged, a tightness stealing over her expression. Killian smelled like her, but Elain smelled like honey and jasmine, like the salt from the ocean and bright sunlight. Hackles raised, Lucien asked, “Do you need me to get rid of him?”

Elain brightened. Taking a small step toward him, Elain replied, “Could you?”

Gods, with pleasure, he thought. Finally, something he could do that might make him feel useful again. “Easily.”

“Yes,” Elain told him, looking—well, looking as if she didn’t completely hate him. “Yes, I’d like that a lot.”

He offered her a tight nod, unsure why he felt such pleasure at the thought of doing something nice for her. Amid the revelry and the noise, Lucien felt strangely settled. The anxiety that had been coursing through him calmed, making him rational again. He ought to have thanked her for whatever spell she’d cast, for giving him something to do that made him feel important again. 

He turned, intending to walk away wordlessly. This time, it was Elain who reached for him, catching his wrist in a feathersoft touch.

“I don’t think you look like a Vanserra,” she told him earnestly. 

He was tempted to ask what she did think he looked like. That was madness—was a fool's errand. He didn’t care, besides.

At least, that was what Lucien told himself when he made the journey back up to the palace alone. When he didn’t seek out his usual company.

When he fell into bed, still thinking about her eyes.

[knackfandomarchive]

Now We're Thinking With Portals!

I initially thought of sending this as an ask to @sonicasura, but then wondered if maybe it's too sensitive and also long. And I only watched to like episode 4 so I bet things are wrong.

(KNACK X Kaiju no.8)

(also, textual depiction of Kaiju death, and blood. There is an image depicting blood)

Ok so, the plan requires equal parts extensive set-up, foresight, and prolonged secrecy and dumbassery; Somewhat characteristic of a certain duo comprised of a thirteen-year-old (headcanon) human boy and his relic monster brother (also headcanon).

Lucas wants to keep a tight lid on this plan. Though it was originally Knack's idea, Lucas quickly assumes the role of mastermind. He has to pick Kafka and Reno's brains for important information, seemingly innocuous questions like: How big can Kaiju get? Do they always explode when their bodies are pierced? Can I help clean up a Kaiju with you guys? These are natural questions, too, not so suspicious really.

There are so many ways this plan could go wrong.

Reno is only told the plan when Lucas needs to double-check his math. The latter forces the former to swear secrecy: Kafka wouldn't want a kid like Lucas anywhere near a live Kaiju, and he only hesitantly let him help scrape up a dead one.

Showtime is about to start after a Kaiju appears in just the right location. Just a few minutes after the evacuation order is delivered, Lucas virtually drags Reno away from the rest of the cleanup crew. Not sure if Kafka thinks much of it; everyone needs to evacuate and Lucas pretends to be doing just that, faking distress and begging Reno to get him out of there stat.

But the human boys appear on a rooftop directly adjacent/within the Kaiju's rampage path. I wouldn't be surprised if Reno got cold feet at this point: He looks at the angled mattress on the rooftop they stand on. He looks at the 9-feet tall relic golem - who's gripping the edge of a taller gothic building on the other side of the street with his weird bird feet and grinning down at them. Directly below Knack is an oval window, and far below, on the ground, Knack had removed the entire doorway and laid it down.

Reno looks at Lucas and says, "You're insane!"

Lucas finishes lowering his face shield, and laughs, clearly excited. Then says "Nuh uh! This is gonna be sick." He holds up a flag and Knack readies himself to jump.

Meanwhile, in another world, Doctor Vargas views the makeshift decoration set up in the garden: On the ground below a brick wall, relic ruin arches set together on their sides to form a ring, and a simpler ring of wire several feet above it, having a prong to hold it in place on the wall with something heavy. Minutes ago, the Doctor had been doing something else when the boys interrupted him, a slightly-too-tall-for-the-ceiling Knack telling him to go to the garden immediately and Lucas breathlessly giving clearer directions. Doc could barely register the words and take in the odd white garb Lucas was wearing, before the boys had high-fived with a "let's go!" and sprinted off.

Now, Lucas waits for the Kaiju to get closer, a convenient billboard keeping him and Reno out of sight. Reno is sweating, but Lucas is totally shaking, even as he grins under his mask. It's a little too late to go back now. Finally, the Kaiju's nose reaches the billboard when it spots Knack - who had himself anxiously shifted his weight - and decides he's a live thing to destroy.

Lucas swings down the flag, sending the signal, and Knack crosses his arms over his chest and jumps. The boys and Kaiju watch him fall and disappear through the archway. Lucas quietly pumps a fist, and Reno mutters that he hopes this works.

The Doctor was beginning to grow bored, until light flashes within the rings and Knack appears, falling through the portals faster and faster until he is just a blur. Knack tries to holler a greeting, "Hey... Doc..." but he is already exhausted. Finally the portals close and a great quantity of relics scatter all over the place, the Doctor yelping at the projectiles and diving behind a bush, mostly unharmed.

The Kaiju had turned itself to look down at where Knack disappeared, sniffing. Additionally, it had smacked its tail against the building the humans stood on, disturbing it. The humans flattened themselves down against the roof for this reason, as well as that the Kaiju was clear of Knack's flight path, and the living cannon ball would hurtle straight for the mattress.

This was a stupid plan, Lucas thinks to himself morosely, rolling onto his back. Helicopters approach overhead.

But then the Kaiju raises its head and body, and shudders. Knack had shot straight out of the window right then at top speed and slammed into the Kaiju's chest. If all had gone well, Knack would have been at his smallest size and maintained his form.

He doesn't come out the other side, meanwhile some relics have flown over the Kaiju's body, and the humans on the ground have to contend with the idea he might have bounced off or gotten stuck.

Defense Forces are loading out by this point.

But the Kaiju's flesh swells, caustic fluids combining, and explodes, sending blood, bone and organ matter flying. The Kaiju groans and collapses to the ground, defeated.

Reno quietly admits that that was cool.

Lucas leaps to his feet and gets dizzy. "Woah! It really went down?" And he cackles triumphantly. "But wait, where's Knack?"

He does a lunge at the edge of the roof, looking down and hoping to spy a 3-feet-tall humanoid made of relics. Sure enough, something small crawls out of the Kaiju corpse, sliding to the ground.

When Knack reaches the ground, he checks that his limbs are still intact and flicks off the gunk. It worked!

Only, the Defence Force is now on the scene! Uh oh!

[lizacstuff]

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🤯🤯😭😭😱😤😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🤬🤬🤬🤬😭 What did you think of the episode? I always look forward to reading your thoughts.

Yep. Your emojis pretty much sum it up, don't they? LOL. I think the episode is decent in terms of quality, it was well-paced, very dramatic, the acting from Hande and Kerem was astounding, but watching it was just like constantly toggling between pain and fury, and that is not that fun.  

Part of me wants to say it was a well written episode, because it definitely made me feel and I thought it flowed well, but part of me wants to say it was terribly written because the number of contrivances and character assassinations (spoiler alert, I don’t list Serkan in that number) that had to occur to set it up is way too much. So maybe I'll settle on that the episode was well written, but the nonsense they needed to make it work was hackneyed. 

This was the first time I cursed the 2+ hour format. On shows I'm used to, if an episode is hard to take, you just have to suck it up for 42 minutes, 2+ hours was a lot of sucking it up.  My apologies in advance if I curse a LOT. I think I'm going to approach this by giving my take on each character in turn.  I'll start with the characters on the shit list and it will go from shittiest to slightly less shity.  Characters not on the shit list are down below. (spoiler alert: Serkan and Eda are safely on the NOT shit list) 

(Keep reading below the cut)

CHARACTERS ON SHIT LIST

Selin - WTF? I've thought she was a huge, pathetic turd since episode 18, and I thought she left in a disgraceful way, siccing psycho Balca on him, and it was frustrating that she never had to answer for any of her psycho moves, but this is a new level of crazy, bitter, fucked up that I could not have imagined for her. The writers really said: how can we make her the worst person ever?  Plot wise, at least they made it make sense why he would call her. The last time period he remembers, she was his girlfriend. I get it, and I think I get why they did it. As I've said before, if amnesia Serkan wakes up and finds this amazingly beautiful woman standing over him, and finds out she's his fiancé, even if he doesn't remember her it's not the worst thing in the world. They decided, I suppose, to make their journey back together that much harder and earned. They wanted him in the least receptive frame of mind when he met the amazingly beautiful woman. Enter Selin to manipulate and poison his mind. And lose any last shred of dignity she might have retained from the first time around. 

Is there anyone who didn't want to slap the shit out of her every single second she appeared on screen? I have no idea where she got the confidence this episode. The only saving grace is the bitch is going down hard.  Piril and Ferit both tried to warn her, as did Eda, but it's not going to be pretty for her. And the only thing I hope is that she actually pays some sort of price other than the utter emotional devastation and humiliation she's going to get. Frankly, I think she should be charged with kidnapping since she was hiding someone with diminished capacity that was the subject of a missing persons case. (Aydan can go down with her for not reporting it) Outside of soap operas, that is criminal. However, I doubt any of that will happen, she'll just slink off once she's found out and Serkan turns on her. 

Aydan - WTF? I don't think any of us predicted she'd be a villain this episode, and this is the first of the character assassinations that was required to make the plot work. First, her son was in a plane crash, and is recovering from severe injuries, she gets a call from Selin and she doesn't grab Eda and catch the first plane to where he is? He has amnesia and she thinks he's able to make rational, proper decisions? So she just respects his wishes not to be disturbed and leaves him with his obsessed ex-girlfriend? Who is this woman? Not Aydan. For the first 16 episodes she didn't give a damn about what Serkan wanted, she imposed her will on him and even though he resisted, she never lost him. She thinks she's going to lose him by flying to his bedside and bringing the love of his life? This makes no sense. Second, she allows devastated Eda to continue being in the AGONY of not knowing what happened to Serkan??? FUCK OFF, AYDAN. But again character assassination required to see it work. 

The one thing that's sort of in character, I think, is her hedging her bets with Selin and Eda. I've always said her acceptance of Eda was born out of self-interest. True, she saw how devastated Serkan was when they broke up and she wanted him to be happy, but mostly because she found out he was moving away from her and she thought she was losing him. She's a shrewd woman and she saw that the path to keeping him was Eda, so she got on the Eda train. I do think she genuinely cares for Eda, but if the Selin engagement lasts more than a couple days I could see her not fighting it like she should. Because where was she this episode in trying to get through to him? I get that everything happened over two short days, but she could have tried harder to talk sense into him and to probe for what Selin was feeding him. And she could have questioned Selin a whole helluva lot more. 

Piril - WTF? What is with Serkan's best friends just accepting Selin back into the fold under these circumstances? How is Piril not furious that Selin knew her good friend and business partner was alive and didn't tell her??? Selin let Piril and Engin continue to mourn him and think he was dead when he was alive, and Piril is calling her her good friend? WHAT THE FUCK? I'm not sure if this is character assassination because Piril is a bit of an odd ball, but this is assassination on just basic human reactions. Who wouldn't be furious? Who wouldn't be repulsed and incensed that she tried to move in on a brain-damaged man who had been about to marry someone else? 

Piril doesn't even need to be his best friend or to have participated in all his wedding festivities to know that's fucked up. How was Piril not screaming "BITCH YOU BE CRAZY" at her?  Like it takes Olympic level handwaving to accept Piril's conversation with Selin. Especially since she knows Selin wanted to ruin his happiness at all costs! Yes, she at least brought up the subject and very weakly said "You know we all know they are very much in love" and warned her that things might end badly, but it should have been a helluva lot stronger than that, and she should have been furious.  

Ayfer - She actually didn't do much this episode, which is the problem, because she also did very little to support Eda. TBH, I can't stand her to begin with so she makes it to this spot on the list, above people who should have been better. 

Engin - He gets a few points for telling Serkan the story and trying to bring it up again, however, he just always stopped shy from actually defending Eda or really probing for what Selin told Serkan. Again, there's a short timeline, and maybe he's planning to do it and not overwhelm Serkan, which isn't a bad thing. I just don't feel like he relayed how happy Serkan became after he met Eda. Though, to be fair, I sort of get why we didn't get really heartfelt testimonials for Eda, we want Serkan to start to fall for her again without being told to. I think they're going for a situation where Selin is the only voice in his ear, poisoning him against Eda, but even under those odds, he'll fall for her again. 

But his interactions with Serkan are not why he's on the shit list. He makes this list for just seemingly accepting Selin back and not voicing any concerns over her UTTERLY, PSYCHO, BIZARRE, eFFED UP behavior. Everything I said about Piril applies here. How is he okay that she kept the news of Serkan's survival from his best friend and business partner? Engin was the person Serkan confided in, he knows how he felt about both of those women. How is he not calling Selin out to her face?? So I don't need his friends to be in his ear telling him how much he loves Eda, but I do need them in his ear poking holes in the nonsense Selin is telling him and setting him straight on the state of their relationship when the plane went down. And I need them to be calling Selin out to her face. 

Erdem - He remains on the shitlist for gargantuan dumbassery not committed this episode.  Ferit - Ferit is low down on the shit list, but he still makes it for once again not coming down HARD on Selin. As her ex-fiancé he's in a unique position to call her out, and while he did issue her a warning, trying to soften it in terms of him not wanting her to get hurt was weak and ineffective and it feels like maybe he is still harboring feelings for her. UGH. Man, stop it! What is attractive about this bitter, manipulative psycho? Get in there and battle her on her own terms. Threaten her with the truth, push her, make her feel pushed into the corner so she gets reckless. Threaten to tell Serkan in front of her about the conversation you overheard that made you decide to leave her at the wedding table. Do something, and make it not for her own good. 

NOT SHIT LIST  Leyla - Little she could have done, in light of her relationship with one year ago Serkan, but it would be nice if at some point she gets some sort of dig in at him, "You were a better person after you met Eda."   Seyfi - It seemed like he was in the dark about Serkan being alive, Aydan must have kept it from even him, so he can be on this list. (Again Aydan would never keep it from Seyfi, so more OOC from her)

Deniz - So far he seems like a genuine, not psycho guy. He might be harboring feelings for Eda, but he didn't do anything creepy and was genuinely there for her more than almost anyone else. Did anyone catch the vibe between him and Ceren when she was leaving his shop? Ceren wasn't even mad at Ferit at that point, but there was a definite... charged moment. However this show does that from time to time, remember when Fifi seemed to have a weird tension-y moment with what's his name, Babaanne's bodyguard in one of his first episodes? That never surfaced again. 

Ceren - She was trying her best to be there for Eda. 

Melo - She was trying her best to be there for Eda. 

Sirius - Good boy! You know who your mama is. 

Serkan - Look, Serkan was a grade A asshole (you were right, Kerem) this episode. However, I have so much sympathy for him. He is a VICTIM. The man was in a plane that went down, had injuries including a traumatic brain injury, and lost the last year of his life. He appeared to be having some sort of PTSD with the nightmares. (Also thank you jebus he's sleeping on the cabin couch and that witch was going to her own home at night in Istanbul).  It's natural he called the person who he thought was his girlfriend. He was not to know that she's an evil psycho who was going to brainwash him. She is manipulating him, and I'll say it again, he is her victim. Also, I know lots of people think he was out of character and more harsh than he was in the pilot. He definitely was harsher than the pilot, but I don't think he was out of character.  In this episode, think of him as episode 3 Robot Bolat, but throw in having amnesia, experiencing trauma, being brainwashed by someone he trusts, and suffering from PTSD. 

It's a lot. He was so overwhelmed. I say episode 3 Serkan, because that's when Serkan realized he was starting to fall in love with Eda and it caused him to freak the fuck out and he was so cruel to her. He was a grade A asshole then too and we had that again, but heightened, in this episode. Sounds like he had these inklings of feelings before he even came back (he told Engin) that he didn't know what they were, but clearly they confused and frightened him, just like in episode 3. This is a man who doesn't believe in love. So to find out that he not only fell in love, but he fell so hard he became someone he doesn't recognize, I think made him recoil even faster and further, especially after Selin had brainwashed him into thinking he was manipulated into it by a bad person. So every time that Eda came near him and it affected him, whether it was physically like his heart, or that ineffable pull he felt, it made him retreat to a robotic defensive position. He didn't understand the feelings, they confused him and Selin made him fear them. Plus you add in how emotional Eda was, including the slap, and it was more than he could handle. 

It was enjoyable to watch the moments where Eda affected him, (kudos Kerem because you could see it on his face). However, those moments just pushed him into a corner, so he retreated to the place he thought was safe, which is Selin. He said it to Engin, in his retrograde amnesia mind, everything had changed but her (little does he know). It's interesting that the few flashes of Eda he had were from very early episodes. So he's not flashing to when he was fully in love with Eda, and was sure of his own heart and mind. He's flashing back to when he first started falling in love and was also scared, confused and felt out of control. And remember he's a control freak. So I'm sure that a taste of those wild, exciting, out-of-control, confusing first feelings are also fueling his current crazed state of mind. 

And that's how the events unfolded, with that state of mind. When Eda kissed him, he felt it, and it scared the crap out of him. And he said it right there in the moment, he wasn't going to let her "confuse" him, and he was going to put an end to it.  And that's what he did, try to put an end to those very confusing feelings for a person he's been told is trying to manipulate him and take advantage of him. So to make the out-of-control feelings stop, the robot malfunctioned and did the one thing he thought would get Eda to stop pushing him and shut all of it down. He proposed to the person who currently represents safety and for whom there are no confusing, wild, uncontrolled feelings. He doesn't love Selin, so there are no scary emotions attached. But did you see him when he made that speech? He was confused, and stuttering, and stumbling and looked dazed af. That's someone in acute crisis. And that shot of his face when he's hugging Selin? He looks like someone just shat on his head. Could he be more miserable?  Poor baby. 

Eda - THE REAL POOR BABY!  And the other victim in all this. Hande knocked it out of the park! She was so good. How many times did she break me this episode? A bunch. I loved that Eda was unwavering in her belief that Serkan was alive, even though everyone else had given up (except Aydan the lying sack of shit). I'm glad we know that Eda was so upset she wasn't leaving her room or eating, but I'm also glad we didn't see that. It's enough to know she started out devastated without the viewer having to wallow in it in an already upsetting episode, it was a smart move to immediately time jump 2 months. However, she wouldn't be Eda if she wasn't able to pick herself up and do what needed to be done. Which in this case was take care of Sirius, take over the firm, and keep track of the manhunt for Serkan. That's a lot on her plate, and of course she thrived. 

It was nice the whole company was behind her when she brought home the award, too bad they couldn't have backed her up like that when it came to Selin!  (pick a side, Piril!) They all need to stop acting like it's normal what Selin did! It's not normal!!!! Stop normalizing it and her! It felt like Eda was being gaslit at times, like none of the people Serkan remembered cared that Selin had obviously been preying on someone sick and injured and with diminished mental capacity. Why were they all like that!?!?!  I know, because if they’d reacted like a normal person would, Selin couldn’t have continued the charade. 

I was wondering how their first meeting would go down and Eda fainting seems entirely appropriate. And of course, he caught her without even knowing it's his job, “If you fall, I’ll catch you.”  *sob*  Eda pulling out the old classics to get him to remember was the best. Even through the pain and fury, I thoroughly enjoyed many of those moments. I, along with everyone, was thrilled to see the handcuffs back. Good move, Eda! And they fell right back into bickering and bantering. Though I think they should have taken his car, because all their memories are driving together in that car.

Bless her heart, she was doing everything to jog his memory, and I applaud that. But on one hand I think maybe she made a critical error in being so emotional (not that she could help it) because he was really freaked out by her, and I know she had been put through the wringer and Serkan not remembering her was the blow to end all blows, but she sort of lost it during that first meeting. And he was so overwhelmed that of course he shut all the way down. The truth is it's not his fault he had amnesia, he's a victim. She's totally entitled to those feelings, and the anger at him and the situation and the universe, but in trying to get through to him the heightened emotion might have been a critical error, because he just wasn't receptive to listening to her after that. On the other hand, that's how their relationship has been from the start. She's emotional and spontaneous and fiery and he navigates it. So one might hope it would spark something that he would remember. 

Same thing goes for the confrontation at his house.  He was such a dick, and she broke my heart, but she was so overwrought that I don't think Serkan of a year ago, who has now been traumatized and manipulated, could handle it and it caused him to become the worst version of himself. Again I don't fault Eda, most of us would have collapsed due to the sheer weight of what she'd been through, but her approach, coming in hot, did fuel the situation and I can see how Serkan got to that emotional place. 

At least they gave me one thing I asked for! The password. Serkan, maybe stop saying it's something you would never do, when you demonstrably did it. You bought her a star and then the coordinates were your password.  At some point your brain needs to put two and two together here. But actually I want him to check and see that he really did name a star after her. Her stealthily leaving so she didn't have to give it to him, and thus not be able to change the password, was great.

As for the last scene, girlfriend was looking FIIIIINE when she walked in that restaurant and boyfriend was having to command himself to stop looking at her. The kiss was a big swing, but she had to try and I'm sure we all wanted to hug her when he malfunctioned and did a crazy thing out of sheer panic. 

We, along with Eda, were put through the wringer this episode, but we survived and it can't get worse... okay nevermind, I'm not going to say that. Instead I'll just say, it WILL GET BETTER. There will be a reward for this pain. It's coming. We will see his awakening feelings in the next episode, I know it! Just hang on! 

[perseusjackson-jasongrace]

Empires on the Horizon VI

Jason is a CEO: Part VI

Here’s my masterlist for the next part and my other stuff

TW: not really overt but there is mention of NSFW activities. 

every story has a

beginning

middle

and end

not necessarily in that order

-Tim Burton

“Annabeth Chase, my favourite impulse-controller,” Jason smirked, pulling his friend into his chest for a hug.

Her grey eyes sparked with mirth, “What do you want you troublemaker?”

“I find it offensive that you think I’m a troublemaker. We all know it’s your boyfriend that gets us into a mess.”

“Lies and propaganda,” She raised a brow, “You two are in a committed relationship with hullabaloo.”

He gave her a wide-eyed look, “Hullabaloo?”

“I’ve been spending way too much time with Percy,” She sighed.

He burst out laughing, “Who in this day and age says ‘hullabaloo?’”

“Percy discovered the word when we were in high school and thought it was the most hilarious thing he’s ever heard. He used to say it all the time.”

Jason shook his head amusement dancing on his lips, “So why did you want to meet me? I thought you’d be with Leo today since you’ve been out of state all week.”

They collapsed onto his couch. Annabeth tucked her feet underneath her and he propped his on the ottoman. When they settled down, she finally looked at him.

“Yea,” She pinched the bridge of her nose, “He had to go into work today because the part-time lecturer couldn’t make it for classes.”

“What’s going on? Why do you look so…” He had never been good at finding the words that matched the emotion, “So frustrated?”

“I’m not,” She gave him a weak smile, “I’m not. I just miss him.”

“You saw each other last night, didn’t you? He picked you up for the airport?”

“Yea but we haven’t gotten the chance to talk. I don’t know how to–, I just miss him.”

“Hey,” He grabbed her hands, “Take a deep breath. We have all the time in the world.”

Neither of them had quite figured out how to handle emotions, how to express them. It was an ongoing frustration when he and Luke were dating. Annabeth and Leo had learned how to read each other after all these years; four years of friendship and three years of dating had cemented that bond, had it running core deep. But him and her still couldn’t quite get the words out on their own.

“I miss his presence,” She breathed, “We saw each other last night but I was exhausted, and it was late. He practically had to carry me from the car to our bed and then he left early this morning. We just haven’t had the chance to catch up, to exist together yet.”

He held her close, let her head fall onto his shoulder.

“Being away from him is like losing a limb or being thrown into the deep end of the pool when you don’t know how to swim, like walking through darkness. You know what all of those have in common?” She looked up at him, grey eyes lined with tears.

“What?”

“Emptiness, the absence of something vital.”

“I think,” He tilted her chin up, caught the storm in her gaze, “I think you are lucky to have someone who makes saying goodbye so hard.”

“Did you just quote Winnie the Pooh at me?”

He winced, “Yes?”

She dissolved into laughter, “Really Jason? Winnie the Pooh?”

“What?” He gave her an indignant look, “It’s a good quote, and better than anything I could have come up with.”

“You are something else.” She managed to rein in her amusement, “What’s been up with you?”

“Nothing exciting,” He shrugged.

“Nah uh Mister,” His friend gave him a look, “Leo tells me you met a lady? What happened to my cousin? And how did you meet her? Do you have a picture?”

“Alright,” He chuckled, “Slow down. I don’t have a lady; we’ve been on one date. Next one is tomorrow. Your cousin and I didn’t get to exchange numbers at the dinner and I’m sure you know he’s now seeing Reyna. Thalia introduced Zoe and I, she’s a vet at the Conservatory and no I do not have a picture.”

“I hope you know all that information gave me a ton more questions.”

He rolled his eyes, shoving her shoulder lightly, “Let’s get some coffee going and maybe bring out the choc chips and then you can harass me with your endless curiosity.”

“Hey, this curiosity is what made us friends.” Her voice followed him as they walked to kitchen, where she promptly hoisted herself onto the countertop and plucked a cookie from the jar.

“As far as I understand it was Leo’s dumbassery that made us friends.”

“Yea, but without my curiosity I wouldn’t have bothered to check why a skinny, curly-haired, Latino was cursing a blue streak underneath the table.”

“I still think we should be crediting Leo because if he hadn’t gotten his foot stuck in my backpack and tripped thereby falling underneath our table it wouldn’t have been me and you who helped him.”

“Oh gods,” She giggled, “We really were a chaotic bunch weren’t we?”

“Nothing has changed Chase,” He handed her a steaming mug of coffee, “We just have less opportunities to be chaotic now.”

“I used to be so excited to grow up, but all my years have escaped me, have sped by me faster than bullets and I’m not yet grown.”

He leaned across the counter, bringing his cappuccino to his cheek, “I don’t think we ever really are. We’re just an accumulation of all our years before now. I am still one and two and ten and twenty.”

Annabeth looked at him then, caught his gaze in her grey eyes, “When did you get so wise?”

“Guess I’m spending too much time with you.” He winked, “Now please help me find something to wear for tomorrow. Zoe is taking me somewhere in nature and she says I should be prepared for a little exercise.”

“Are we talking a walk in the park or a hike up Blood Hill?”

“I don’t know she said it was a surprise and I don’t get any more information than wear clothes you can move in a little.”

His friend smirked at him, “Sounds steamy?”

“I’m pretty sure sex requires clothes off, not on, t least to some degree.” He rolled his eyes.

“Mhmm, okay. All i’m saying is make sure you pack a condom, or multiple.”

“We are not having- we will get arrested for public indecency.” He grumbled, pushing her shoulder, “So get your mind out of the gutter Chase.”

Her laugh was bells and beauty. “Come on then Mr Grace, let’s go raid your closet.” She held out her hand for him to help her off the counter, and the two blondes disappeared into his room.

***

Jason took a deep breath, letting his nerves find their space in his chest, stomach, lungs. He didn’t like walking into things when he didn’t have all the information; ergo surprises were avoided as much as possible.

A knock at his window pulled him from his mind.

“Are you going to come out? Or do you want to have a car date?” Sparkling dark eyes and a bright smile peered at him through the glass.

“I’m coming,” He laughed, grabbing his wallet and keys before opening the door.

“Hello Jason,” She stood on her toes and looped her arms around his neck. He folded his arms around her waist, catching the soft hints of juniper berry and clove that was purely her.

“How are you?” They pulled away.

“I am nervous,” He admitted, “I don’t like surprises.”

“Yes I did imagine so, I am not fond of them either, but this one was a necessity as it needs an explanation.”

“Well I hope I dressed okay?” He gestured towards his jeans and loose white tee.

“It’s perfect.” She looked him up and down, her eyes flashing, “Now come on, we only have the place for a couple hours.”

“Hold on,” He moved to his trunk, “These are for you,”

“Oh Jason,” She gasped softly, taking the flowers from him, “These are­– Who is your florist because these bouquets are unbelievable?”

He ducked his head, attempting to hide his reddening cheeks, “I choose them myself.”

“Well, your taste is exquisite,” She smiled up at him and he knew he had picked perfectly. Sunflowers because the dress she wore on their first date was liquid sunlight. And red roses because she was beautiful, poised, regal, just as they were.

While she admired the bouquet, he took the time to note their surroundings. They seemed to be on some sort of field, school or farm he didn’t know. A small wooden marquee sat a few meters away, but it was unoccupied which meant they were alone out here.

“Okay,” Zoe started, “So I don’t know how weird this is going to be to you, but I figured I’d get all my secrets out before you’re in too deep.”

“I’m starting to get mildly suspicious,” He raised a brow quizzically.

“Don’t worry I don’t plan on murdering you. I could probably take you in hand to hand combat but for someone of your size, drugs or poison would be the better method.”

He blinked at her, “You spend a lot of your time wondering what the best method for murder is?”

“This is not going well,” She giggled, “I don’t plan on killing you. I brought you here so we could practice some archery.”

“That does not make me feel even remotely better.”

She slugged his shoulder, mirth bouncing in her eyes, “I’ve been doing archery since my first year at varsity and I thought it’d be cool to share it with you.”

“Oh,” Was his eloquent reply, and then, “Well I’m honoured, thank you.”

“Don’t get too sappy on me, I’m only willing to go easy on you in the practice trials.”

“This implies a competition of some sort?”

“Of course. One question answered to whoever gets bullseye or as close to it.”

“I feel like I’m at a serious disadvantage here,” He pouted at her.

“I wouldn’t say that. I’ve only been doing it for nine years,” She smirked.

He groaned, waving his hands, “Oh gods, I see I’m going to be bared to the bone after this.”

“Don’t worry Grace you get to torture me on our next date.”

“Be prepared Nightshade because after this set-up I am not going easy on you.”

“I certainly hope not,” Fire danced in her eyes.

He narrowed his gaze, taking a single step towards her, “Is that a challenge Miss Nightshade?”

“Aren’t scared of a little heat, are you?” She mirrored him, closing the distance.

“Bring it on,” His words were nothing but exhales and anticipation.

Their noses brushed, eyes of midnight and electric storms pinning each other to the world.

“Ready to learn?” She breathed.

“Ready to be taught.”

“Okay,” She stepped away, taking a deep breath before moving to the table that he now noticed had two metal bows and various arrows.

“You’ll get the thirty-pound bow and large arrows to start. Hopefully you don’t need anything heavier because I did not ask for the thirty-four.” She frowned, “Okay some rules. Never have your arrow nocked until you’re on the firing line. Don’t collect arrows until everyone is done shooting. Don’t hold your bow sideways, you will hit someone. Do not under any circumstances pull the string back while there’s no arrow.”

“Got it.” He nodded.

“Cool, you’re gonna do great!” She clapped her hands, excitement radiating from her every movement. “Let’s get you equipped so you don’t end up with string-snapped wrists or a raw thumb.”

And then she was handing him all sorts of equipment, guiding him so everything fit where it was supposed to. Her hands, calloused and small, brushed over his as she adjusted the arm guard and made sure the thumb flap was correct. She explained how to stand, moving his feet and angling his shoulders until she deemed it good enough.

“Okay, let’s do some shooting.”

“I’m ready!” He smiled at her, hoping his own excitement was evident.

“Don’t worry about hitting bullseye, just choose a spot on the target and try to get all your arrows to land in the same place.”

He nodded, rolling his shoulders and moving to stand in position.

“Since it’s just us I’m going to forego formalities, so began shooting Grace.”

He had a clumsy start, arrows falling short of the target, or flying far over it, but Zoe was patient, adjusting and helping him each time.

“This is…” He stared in wonder at the arrow he had managed to bed inches away from the center. ‘I can understand why you enjoy it.”

“Great because now it’s time for Question and Arrow.”

“Fun,” He chortled, “You come up with that?”

“Yes, I thought it was rather clever.”

“Oh it is, I never expected anything less doctor.”

She snorted at him, “Ready to see the queen take her throne?”

“Please Your Majesty,” He bowed low, gesturing to the field.

She laughed and took her stand at the line, adjusting herself and making sure the sight on her bow was at the right level. She took an arrow from the stand in front of her feet, placed it on the string with trained casualness and looked over her shoulder at him. Her smiled was wicked.

She lifted the bow, pulled the string taut and fired the arrow. Before he had time to see where it had landed, she was already nocking her second one, and moments later her third.

He blinked, stared between her bright eyes and the three silver arrows now embedded in the small red circle fifteen meters away, and adjusted his pants.

She smirked, “How was that?”

“Possibly the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” He breathed.

“Ready to answer some burning questions?”

“If I say no will you keep shooting?”

She raised a brow, “Hot and bothered, are you?”

“No thanks to you,” He growled.

She pulled him to the line, “I’m glad you’re taking to it so nicely.”

“I think I’m taking to you,” He grabbed her wrist, pulling her flush to him.

“You don’t even know me?”

“After that little display I’m half willing to marry you on the spot.”

She laughed and shoved away from him, “You’re a special breed Mr Grace. Men do not usually fall into marriage ideas after seeing a woman shoot arrows.”

“Then they are not men.” He frowned, “And besides, anyone with aim as accurate as yours has many, many advantages.”

“Questions Grace,” She took a step back, amusement and… something else passing over her face.

“Right okay,”

So they stood to the line and fired. Her a question him an answer. Then an arrow. A curse as she hit the center and he missed the target completely. Another question, answer, arrow. Question, answer, arrow.

Until two hours had blurred by and Jason had confessed to three college pranks, horrible braces in high school, and the weirdest fear of bricks. She had taken pity on him and answered her own questions after he kept losing their little battle. He knew she regretted her college days because she had wasted them studying, knew she was as gorgeous in high school as she is now, and her weird fear was thunder.

“This was great Zoe, thank you.”

“Thank you,” She beamed at him, “For not thinking I’m weird, or for dismissing this.”

He wrapped his arms around her, speaking into her neck, “I think this may be the coolest second date I’ve ever been on.”

“Really?”  She lifted his head, tugging at his hair until they were staring at each other.

“Really.” He smiled softly, “I did not know archery could be so…”

“Grounding?” She offered.

“Yes, and exhilarating.”

“I don’t know if I can put into words how much it means to me to hear you say that.”

“I was thinking,” He stroked his fingers down her side gently, “Since you didn’t get to do the typical college things maybe I can plan the next date?”

“Sounds like a dream, what are you thinking?”

“Drive-in theatre? I’m fairly sure ‘When the Stars Burn Out’ is playing.”

She nodded, eyes wide with excitement, “I’ve always wanted to go to a drive in! When?”

“Give me a couple days to plan but how does Wednesday sound?”

“Perfect.”

He cupped her cheek, memorising the constellations in her eyes, the soft lines around her mouth  that told you she smiled often, and the lines between her forehead that told you she frowned often too.

“You are divine.” He exhaled.

“Are you going to kiss me?” Was her reply.

He grinned, wild and undaunted, “Happy to.”

And then their lips were meeting, soft and steady. The world fell away, became swirls of colour and sound, became the background of a Monet, became life. And oh gods, Zoe’s hands may be rough with the proof of living, but her lips were softer than petals, than clouds. He held back a groan at her nails scraping his neck gently.

Reluctantly they pulled apart, resting their foreheads against each other.

“Wow,” She whispered.

“Indeed,” He chuckled.

It was that kiss, lingering spice and the smell of beginnings that followed him into his apartment later. Rolled down his skin as he took a shower. Fluttered behind his eyelids as he finally collapsed into bed. That kiss that marked the beginning.

--------------------------------------------------------------

HOW MUCH DO WE LOVE ZOE? Very much because Ciara just projects onto her??!?!????!!??!! oops.

Tags (if you want to be added to/ taken off the tag list just let me know, all my channels of communication are open):

@lesbian-peanuts​

@queen-of-demons-and-hell​

@msdrpreist​​

@sparkythunderstorm​​

@nishlicious-01​​

@lucyisblue​​

@leydiangelo​​​

[lianors]

FOURTH CHALLENGE  — character personality tests for lianor montagu: (4/12)

wc: 1,592 / points earned (thus far): 20

tw: light mention of abusive parental relationship; sexuality discourse (with mentions of: religion, homophobia, internalized misogyny and traditional gender roles); a ridiculous shitload of word vomiting without proofread yike !

1 — creepiest thing about you

𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖘: you are a disturbing control freak — caring for people and things does not work the way you think it does. you are so invested in making sure that everything around you is perfect that instead of showing you care, you plan and control without asking for any input (which, of course, you justify by telling yourself that you aren’t burdening anyone else with extra work). you call this “dedication,” but it’s not - it’s needing personal control so badly that you’ve confused it for real connection — which is not really a great quality in a friend, but a very helpful quality in an aspiring serial killer.

𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖞: i remember when this challenge first came out -- lmao why am i such a sloth -- i wrote an intricate, awed response at this result, but my computer turned off on itself so i guess i gotta content with this whatever lmao.

anyhow, incrediblé. i believe i have touched on the controlling nature lianor has in her -- it is born from her own mother’s, how the woman had wanted her daughter to be a puppet from a tender age; not to displease beatriz, lia was to assure just that. she easily became a sort of dominating figure in the welsh nursery, gently advising and guiding the royal kids to do her way, which is the right way. unlike her mother, she knew honey would catch more flies than vinegar (a mantra she tries to live by whenever ugly, awfully humane sentiments rush through her) and, thus, lianor continues pulling strings quietly, with a caress there, a gentle word here. 

she grows impatient and vexed as her powers begin to fade on people, and now that she’s older, she more actively struggles against being controlled by others, though she is wise enough to know that, as a woman, in many situations she just will not have control and she must bow her head and follow. still, she tries to manipulate the outcome to favor her in some way, even if it is a minuscule silver lining she clings to in order to maintain her sanity and her illusion of power.

2 — four temperaments

𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖘: your temperament is phlegmatic (15) — the phlegmatic temperament is fundamentally relaxed and quiet, ranging from warmly attentive to lazily sluggish. phlegmatics tend to be content with themselves and are kind. they are accepting and affectionate. they may be receptive and shy and often prefer stability to uncertainty and change. they are consistent, relaxed, calm, rational, curious, and observant, qualities that make them good administrators. they can also be passive-aggressive.

𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖞: let me just say, i took this test on my first week portraying lia and i got a tie between sanguine and melancholic -- who is lying then?? are you telling me i’ve grown her enough for that to change??? fight me!! but hey at least sanguine and melancholic tied again, only two points behind phlegmatic so!!!

dumbassery aside, i guess this makes sense. as i usually take most of these tests as i am building my muse, i base their behavior on these results as much as the muse that flows through me on the day i am writing, but i think it’s silly to deny this result just for the sake of being a hater -- especially when the phlegmatic result does fit her: lianor is not particularly lazy, as her anxiety and fear of becoming useless makes that an inability, but if she does allow herself a time off, there is little she would really want to do other than partaking in that noble girl lying on a ottoman couch fantasy! 

more importantly, she is definitely on the quiet side, and kindness and warmth are traits she intends to display and, though i haven’t said it outright, i believe it can be assumed rightfully so that she is a good administrator, with a good head for finances and overall stability over risk.

3 — tea type

𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖘: chamomile tea — you are a warm blanket in the form of a human. you’re welcoming and comforting, and loved ones know they can turn to you when they need a hug or a soothing word. you appreciate the cozy things in life, like wrapping up in a blanket and listening to the rain. in a world full aggression, competition and noise, you believe there’s bravery in being soft.

𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖞: reading this blurb makes me feel so uwu, in a very romantic way i imagined when i first wrote lianor (if you ignore how big of an angst whore i am lmao), so sure, i will take it. lia intends to be this sort of safe, cozy harbor for her loved ones, where they all can forget of the harsh realities of ruling -- though she found herself quite able to do so before, she becomes more cynical, and fearful this ability will become an impossibility soon enough (which in return makes her despise those she judge that are to blame for this demystification of her idyllic world).

4 — sexuality

𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖘: for 40% you are heterossexual. this means that you are attracted only to the opposite sex. this is the most accepted and ‘normal’ sexuality, so don’t worry about fitting in with sexuality -- you will be fine.

you could also get this result:

for 30% you are bisexual. this means that you are attracted to both sexes. this sexuality is very broad -- you can love whomever you want. in reality, both boys and girls. it’s also fairly accepted, as you are both straight and gay.

𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖞: as someone with about 5 scorpios in my zodiac map, i have no qualms about discussing sex and sexuality in any way, so this is going to be an interesting ride. as always, i thought i should discuss character origins, as lianor really has bloomed ever since i began planning her, to as she was actually played. so, originally, she was as straight as a board -- as someone who has had primarily one romantic and sexual connection, she remains constant with her affections and desires, which are invested on a cismale, as it should be expected for a pious noblewoman as she is. thus, i insisted she was a hetero for quite a bit, only for her to come at me and make me proud with just a huge amount of gay -- god i love one (1) sapphic babe! because, well, i envisioned her relationship with the princess of england as one of sisterly love, but because there was a sapphic route me and the princess’ former player went by, i am interested in discussing that again with her player (who shall hopefully be here soon). 

lia enjoys women -- she thinks they are gorgeous, strong beings, and she also envies them, well rooted in the environment she is at. the fateful night she did engage in intercourse with one, she powered through with mild distaste, making her purpose to appeal for the male gaze, to prove to her male partner she was not just another whore he would take to his bed and forget the next morning. she claims kissing women have become a boring affair, that she has tired of pretending and would rather go for the real thing -- a man, in which she would be expected to conceive with -- but everything she speaks must be taken with a grain of salt, since this is the 15th century and even if there is no penis, so there is no sodomy, a love for a woman that is something more than fraternal is wrong, for a woman is made for a man, and she believes she has already found her match.

this single sexual encounter and her insistence in telling herself she is disgusted by homosexuality rings to me not only of religious-infused prejudice, but also of a notion many claim secondary: the ace aspect. being a literal assexual definitely does not work for lianor, who has fire running in her veins and is not at all against asking for her earthly desires to be quenched by the right man -- but demisexuality’s definition interest me a lot; demisexuals require a good amount of bonding to be able to enjoy the sexual act -- they may do it anyways, as i know people in real life to have done and as lia does in her marital bed, but enjoying it is a whole other thing. thus, it makes sense she could not find sexual joy in a random encounter that was fashioned more to please her partner than herself. when she did think of a woman she had a deep connection with -- her dearest french penpal -- though there was an immense shame, lia found no difficulty in enjoying herself.

however, again, this should all remain entirely circumstantial due to the mentality of the century; she would rather not strain from what is normal, and resign herself to her feminine position, in which she should please her man and bear his children, regardless of her own pleasure in the matter. female friendships should remain just that, and otherwise she would seek to distance herself from the personification of sin for her own sake. to go through with modern, anachronistic notions would strip the verse of what it is and instead would make me speak of the bi icon lianor beauchamp that was born in the 1990s -- and that is a whole other talk.