#and that noah’s just sitting there filming him and talking to him about ketchup?

[heartthroblopez]

He’s sooo fine, even when he’s eating breakfast

[a-singleboat]

I Didn’t Mean To

Word Count: 1534

A/N: I’m running out of Damien gifs to use, pls send any you’ve noticed I haven’t used

REQUEST:  Can you do a Damien x Ian's sister!reader where they have a secret relationships that Damien accidentally exposed it and maybe Ian qnd the rest of the Smosh members - anon

You were on your way back to the office from your lunch break, having taken it alone today due to the fact that all your friends were currently filming a Try Not to Laugh. On your way out, Shayne had asked you to grab him something to eat and Noah soon jumped onto that order. Ian had then asked you to grab him something light to eat as well. Knowing your brother and his proclivity to being constantly overwhelmed by the number of things he had to do, he had probably left his lunch in his fridge at home. 

You bumped the handicap button with your hip, seeing as both of your hands were full and walked through the open double doors to the lobby of the building. You strolled up to the front desk and asked if they could send someone from Smosh down to help you out. Roger, your favorite security guard, noticed you there and struck up a conversation with you. 

“What’s going on today, Y/n?” he asked, looking through the bags you had put down at his desk. You swatted his hands away from the food and folded over the tops neatly. 

“My brother forgot his lunch at home so I thought I’d be a nice baby sister and get him something to eat so he didn’t starve,” you rolled your eyes playfully and chuckled when Roger nodded sagely. 

Roger was your favorite for one of two reasons, the first being that he was one of the older guards at fifty-three years of age yet he acted as if he were still in his twenties. The second reason being that whenever his husband made some baked goods, he would always be down to share some with you. You didn’t know if that made him or his husband your favorite person. 

You both joked around for a bit more before you heard footsteps approaching Roger’s desk. You span around in the swivel chair Roger had taken from Sharon down the hall to face one Damien Haas standing with his hands in his pockets. 

“I was called upon to help with something?” he pulled his hands out of his pockets in time for you to barrel into him with a hug. 

You kissed his cheek and then dramatically cried out, “My hero!”

You passed him two of the bags and you yourself held one bag and a drink in your other hand. Roger offered to walk you two to the elevators and buzz you in so that you wouldn’t have to fumble with your ID cards to go back up. You thanked Roger and left him with a promise to come over sometime for dinner again to meet their new puppy. 

In the elevator, you could tell something was off with Damien. You poked his side with your elbow, encouraging him to tell you what was bothering him. He bit his lip before turning his body to face you. 

“Listen,” he started. “You can’t be mad, but I think Ian knows about us.”

“What?” you blinked a few times. “What do you mean he knows about us? I mean, how did he find out?”

“I didn’t mean to! It just kind of slipped out,” Damien was extremely nervous now, avoiding your eye contact and fidgeting. 

You took note of his nervous actions and took the chance to step directly in his line of eyesight. “Damien, it’s alright. I only wanted to keep things quiet until we really figured out what was going on. Back at Defy, there was a strict no-dating between coworkers rule and now we’re at Mythical where not only do we have more creative liberty, there is no no-dating between coworkers rule.”

He stayed quiet, obviously filtering through what you were saying. The elevator reached your floor and you stepped halfway out to prevent the elevator doors from closing. “All I’m saying is that I would really like it if you would be my boyfriend, Damien.”

You left the elevators, heading towards the lounging area where your brother was sure to be. You heard Damien’s quick shuffle quickly catch up to you and soon you were walking side-by-side. 

You plastered a smile on your face as you rounded the corner, holding the bag of food up in the air. “I brought back burgers and salads!” you called and the response was immediate. Ian was instantly by your side, taking the bag from your hands and Noah was bouncing toward Damien for one of the bags of food in his hands. 

Shayne was the only person to notice what was off with Damien and they disappeared into another room presumably to talk about it. Ian had joined you at the small table in the kitchen of the office. He had his laptop on in front of him and his burger and water bottle next to that.

“Ian,” you gently closed his computer screen. “Maybe it’s time for a break?”

He looked at you and then his laptop and then at his food. He sighed and slid the laptop to the side, pulling the burger in front of him. “You’re right, as always.” 

He reached over to take a fry fro your pile and you swatted his hands away from your pile. “Yeah, I’m always right. And I asked you if you wanted fries before you left and you said no.”

“Yeah,” he took a bite of his burger and swallowed. “But I knew you were gonna bring back some fries so I didn’t ask for them!”

The two of you ate in silence, enjoying each other’s company. It was rare that you both sat down for a meal together anymore and honestly, it was something that you should implement more often. 

“So,” he took a swig of water. “What’s up with you and Damien?”

You took your time to chew and swallow the fry in your mouth. “What do you mean, ‘What’s up with Damien and me?’”

“I mean, I know the two of you have something going on and I want you to know I have no problems with it at all.”

You pouted, dragging a fry through the ketchup and drawing squiggles on the paper bag with the makeshift coloring utensils. “There’s nothing going on with me and Damien. At least not anymore.”

You said the last part under your breath, hoping that Ian wouldn’t pick up on the bitter note behind your words. 

“What do you mean, ‘At least not anymore’?”

You swore under your breath, eating the fry and wiping your hands on a napkin. “You don’t miss anything, do you, asshole?”

“I mean, I have lived with you for roughly twenty years of my life. And, oh, you are my sister, so,” he trailed off, an eyebrow cocked and a knowing look sent in your direction. 

“I want to be something more with him, I just don’t know what I am to him.”

“Y/n, you may be my sister and I’m supposed to be the one that’s super against you dating or whatever bullshit, but out of any of your friends, I’d be totally okay with you and Damien.”

“Really?”

He nodded, taking a bite out of his burger. “Unlike that Tyler dude that threw pebbles at my window cause he thought my room was yours.”

You laughed, recounting back to when you were in high school and Tyler Dunham had thrown pebbles at what he thought was your window and instead, getting a very disgruntled Ian having been woken up at three in the morning.

“I mean, as long as you’re okay with it.”

“It only matters if you’re okay with it. It’s your life and not mine,” he wrapped up his trash and stood up to throw his trash away. He grabbed his laptop and pointed at the kitchen door behind you. “I think someone wants to talk to you.”

You turned around to see Damien in the doorway, a nervous smile on his face. He and Ian swapped places, Ian leaving the room and Damien sitting in the chair Ian had been sat in. 

“I know that this is probably not the best place to do this but we still have about fifteen minutes of our lunch break and we’re allowed to do what we want during this time and,” he was rambling which was adorable but it was going nowhere.

“Damien, I really like you and I just hope that you like me as well. This doesn’t have to be a formal declaration or anything, we can be in a relationship without having to define the status. I just want to know that you’ll be mine.”

He smiled and all accounts of nervous manner vanishing. “Of course, yes, absolutely.”

You stood up and kissed his cheek before you moved to warp your finished fries and toss them in the trash. He came up behind you and wrapped you in a hug, kissing the side of your head. 

“Well, our lunch break is over so that means we have to get back to work.” you both laughed and left the kitchen side by side, arms linked cheesily with the biggest grins plastered on both of your faces. 

TAGLIST

Permanent

@gretavanyeth @toms-order @starlightfound @rumoured-whispers @lemirabitur @grandmascottlang @lovelyh0lland @positiveparker @bippity-boppity-boopa 

Smosh

@andreasworlsboring101

[artificialqueens]

if we have eachother (Branjie/Ninex/Everyone) 2/5 - PinkGrapefruit

chapter one.

chapter two. in which family means adventure

A/N - I’ve got 10/27 exams left and that’s something to celebrate. I really love this chapter, it’s soft as all hell and I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed Frey and Qtips comments on it (thanks to them it looks like I can use punctuation). Anyway, Enjoy!

*

When the kids start school Vanessa comes to the startling revelation that he can’t keep doing this (this being travelling non-stop, gigs across the country and long-ass tours) - it’s not a bittersweet farewell, but it’s the end of an era, he supposes. And then he makes himself a set of rules instead. One tour a year, no more than two weeks, must be able to find childcare. Avoid international gigs without another queen. No gigs on school nights. And it works, for three years, it works perfectly, and then the kids are eight and they’re moving house and he realises that,god , he misses touring - just a little bit. Misses the feeling of waking up in a different city than you fell asleep, new crowds every night, the atmosphere of it all. But he wakes up in his king-sized bed curled up around a Canadian hunk, and sometimes there’s still a child on his back if it’s been a really bad night, and he also knows he wouldn’t give it up for the world.

He does a gig at least every week, got a steady hosting job at Micky’s WeHo on a Friday night and Brooke doesn’t work them, so it’s his night with the kids while Vanessa dips and twirls and screams on stage, whipping the crowd up into a frenzy before announcing the latest in a stream of Drag Race girls and up-and-coming queens. Sometimes Silky or A’keria joins him and they have a proper good time of it, but even when he’s alone up there he still feels as at home as he does on the sofa, Allie on his lap, legs on Brooke’s who has an arm around Noah as they watch ‘Clueless' or something else that is definitely not appropriate for eight-year-olds, but ‘our kids are gonna know shit, babe - I didn’t have them for them to be uncultured.’

On his days off, he goes full ‘PTA dad’ as Brooke likes to call that - it better be as affectionate as Brooke’s ‘Dance Mom’ title - stemming from him watching Noah and Allie dance like he himself is doing it - but Vanessa isn’t quite willing to take that chance. He makes the kids packed lunches every day while the rest of the family is asleep. He cuts the sandwiches into little animals and the fruit into stars using cutters Brooke and the twins bought for Fathers’ Day, and usually halfway through, more often than not at this point, his man will traipse down the stairs and wordlessly make them both coffees in their ‘world’s best dad’ mugs, which they’ll sip at the table, holding hands and watching the news until they have to get the kids up for school. Allie is always easier to wake up, so they alternate who wakes up who, and get them dressed for the day before Brooke tries (and fails) to make pancakes, Vanessa sitting at the table with his coffee and dying laughing like it’s not a daily thing.

The kids had been excited when he told them ‘Uncle Brook’ would be living with them all the time, even though they stopped calling him that years ago and he’s basically living at theirs anyway (his flat is more of a glorified drag closet than a flat at this point). They switch between ‘Brock’ for everyday stuff and ‘Dad’ in really tender moments, ever since Allie slipped up at an ice-rink one Christmas and had cried into his arms. Secretly Vanessa can’t wait until they call him ‘Dad’ all the time, but he already has a mug from the last Fathers’ Day so he figures they’re getting pretty close.

*

They move on a Tuesday, out of the cosy condo they’ve always lived in. It’s only a little across LA, still close enough to go to the same school, but they’ve been saving all the extra money they have to mortgage a little townhouse and it’s everything they could have asked for. Allie squeals as she runs through the door, sprints up the carpeted stairs before Vanessa can call out to her, screaming “PAPA, PAPA, LOOK!” as she counts the bedrooms again and again. There’s four: one for each kid that they can grow into, one for him and Brooke, and one for drag. The drag room might be the second biggest - they’re not ashamed.

They get Monique, Monét and Nina over to paint and decorate, and as Nina and Brooke do the heavy lifting downstairs, Monique and Monét start painting Noah’s room. It’s a periwinkle blue, something he’d been insistent on when they’d been planning, Chinese food and paint swatches littering the table like some sort of fun brainstorming session - it was, but it ended with the adults drinking red wine on the couch and Vanessa bitching about PTA moms. It turns out that Monique doesn’t understand how to use a paint roller and Vanessa leans against the door, watching as she rolls it horizontally. Monét has to sit down - she’s laughing so hard - and it draws the kids upstairs to watch as the queen can’t string together a sentence properly. It’s a hot day, so he goes downstairs to make juice, but when he hears Monét teaching the twins ‘Yo mama’ jokes - he can’t help but tell Nina, “your man is corrupting my babies”. Nina blushes frantically as she tries to put together an Ikea chair, Brooke already having built the other three.

“How’s it going with him by the way?” He asks, nodding his head upstairs with a smile.

“It’s really good,” she replies, handing the chair carcass to the other man who puts it together without even thinking, half paying attention to the conversation, half staring at Vanessa in his painting shorts. Brooke is topless, so Vanessa is only half paying attention too.

“We talked about kids the other night,” She continues, coyly. “We’re thinking of doing what you did.”

“Adoption? That’s amazing, Andrew!”

“Seriously, I can’t think of anyone better,” adds Brooke, beaming at his best friend.

“We’re looking at international, we think, but it’s a little too early to say.”

“I’m really happy for you, mate, we both are,” Brooke says, standing to wrap an arm around his man’s waist, kissing his temple lightly before taking the pitcher and the cups and gesturing upstairs. Vanessa nods slightly, leaning into his body before helping Nina to unpack the table. Neither of them can follow furniture instructions, he goes back to painting Allie’s room yellow in a matter of minutes.

They somehow finish all the painting by Thursday, get to move from all sleeping in the master bedroom (the only one they’d pre-decorated) to finally sleeping in their own rooms, and the first night the two spend alone they just enjoy the amount of space they have. They enjoy it for about 5 minutes, all stretched out, and then they return to their natural state instead, Vanessa curled up into Brooke’s side, head on his shoulder, one leg over his waist like he’s trying to climb the man. He isn’t, but Brooke would argue otherwise.

*

Noah dances in the school talent show, a feat neither of his parents thought possible until he asked Brooke for help one day after school, citing a show in three or so weeks. Vanessa knows that his boys have spent every night since, hunkered down in the garage blasting something that sounds classical, probably. It’s Brookes expertise, he and Allie have just been baking healthy cookies and watching ’The Office’. Neither of them is complaining.

He knows how much work has gone into the minute-long solo, so when he watches it, he is so proud. So proud that he is crying and the phone he’s holding up to film is removed from his hand by Brooke who takes over, because he is shaking too much to get a good video. If he posts it on Facebook after, he can’t be blamed. He has the best kids, he really does.

“Papa!” Noah calls out to him as he runs from the door next to the stage. “Papa! I won!” And Vanessa swears that if Brooke didn’t film that too, he’s not sleeping in their bed.

“I know baby, I’m so proud of you!” He says as he pulls him in, bear hugs him like he has since the boy was three.

“Do you want to get ice cream, buddy?” Calls Brooke from where he’s got Allie’s hand in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in another. When the pair walk over, he kneels in front of Noah with a smile. “You see, dancers get flowers when they do really well,” and he hands his son them, “So we got you some.”

Vanessa pulls Allie into his side as Brooke and Noah hug, the bouquet held out awkwardly so as not to squish it.

“Ice cream.” Allie declares definitively and they all laugh.

*

The kids’ ninth birthdays come too quick for Vanessa’s liking. He’s had them for almost six years and that scares him more than he lets on. He always wonders if he’s raising them right, if they can really be well adjusted with two drag queens as parents, but then he remembers that really they’ve got an entire family of drag queens and that makes him feel a little better.

He hosts a traditional Puerto Rican dinner for their birthdays. He sends Brooke around Los Angeles to find the perfect plantains, yelling through the car Bluetooth that, ‘Yes I need green ones’, but also ‘THEY NEED TO BE BROWN AND SQUISHY, WHAT ARE YOU NOT UNDERSTANDING.’ He explains, when he gets home, that there are two ways you use plantains - super ripe or super squishy. He needs both. Brooke just laughs.

The man comes up behind him when he is trying to fry the tostones, wraps his strong arms around his waist and kisses his neck softly, “My little housewife,” before dipping his finger in the mayo-ketchup and leaving before Vanessa can beat his ass with the spoon. He frets around the kitchen all day until he’s made an entire banquet of classic dishes from arroz con habichuelas to pastelón de amarillos and pollo guisado. And then, somehow, he finds the energy to fret about table decorations for a little while longer.

It is the eve of the twins’ birthday and everyone is over, the food is already mostly gone and they’re all sat around the long table Brooke created through the open plan living area, chatting and yelling every-which-way. It’s noisy and ridiculous and there’s no place they’d rather be.

*

Nina plans for them all to go to Disney for ‘Gotcha Day’ in August and Vanessa pawns his Friday show off on A’keria and Silky the second he can. They pack easily, Brooke and the kids piling into the family ford, and tailing Nina and Monét the whole way there, switching Brooke and Monét out halfway because Brooke ‘has a headache’.

Unbeknownst to Vanessa, Brooke and Nina sit in Nina’s classic beetle planning a proposal. Brooke has the ring in his pocket, has had it in there since they left LA an hour before (the traffic is horrendous), and it feels like it’s burning through the shorts. Like a hot potato, he needs to pass it to someone else. He puts it in Nina’s rucksack instead.

They discuss it at length (although ‘discuss’ implies that it wasn’t just Nina orchestrating the entire thing) and quickly realise that Vanessa has always wanted her fairytale, so maybe it needs to be somewhere truly magical - somewhere from her favourite Disney film… “ARIEL!” Brooke shouts, startling Nina slightly as the Canadian grins at her from the passenger seat. “You know Disney, Nina, where is there an Ariel bit?”

Nina pauses for a second while she changes gear, her eyebrow quirking up as she thinks. “I know a guy,” she says, “There’s a ‘Little Mermaid’ ride and there’s a model where Ariel and Eric are sat in a boat, so maybe, I was thinking, you could go behind the scenes and propose there?”

Brooke lights up as they pull into the carpark. “Could you make that happen?”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

*

“Papa, do you want the rest of your Dole Whip?”

“Yes, baby.”

“Brookie, do you need the rest of your Dole Whip?”

“Uhuh.”

“Monét, are you going to eat the rest of your Dole Whip?”

“Yup, kiddo, it’s mine.”

“Nini, can I have the rest of you Dole Whip?”

“Sure, here you go, kid.”

“NINA.”

*

“You sure you’re tall enough to ride, baby?”

“I swear to god , Brock, imma kick you if you make that joke again.”

*

“Papa? Can we buy Mickey’s ears?”

“I’ll get you them, kiddos.”

“Nina, no. Ugh, fine. Kids, say thank you to Uncle Nina.”

“You know you love it, Vanj.”

“Sure.”

*

Monét takes the ring out of Nina’s rucksack while she’s on the 'Under the Sea’ ride with Vanessa and the kids. She hands it to Brooke with a pointed stare and a muttered joke about ’forgetting everything, you dumb bitch’ before dutifully returning to the small pile of rucksacks they’ve accumulated as a unit. Brooke smiles down at it as he thumbs the black velvet box, opens it briefly - just to check - before shoving it deep into his cargo shorts. “They’re practical!” He’d defended in response to the ridicule of his soon-to-be fiancé that morning, pairing the offending shorts with a white Mickey Mouse T-Shirt (that matched Noah’s).

When everyone gets off the ride, Nina claps her hands as if to make an announcement before turning to the kids. “So, you know your papa likes Ariel? I may have arranged something, follow me.”

The kids squeal as Nina leads them down a slightly hidden hallway behind the ride, pushes open the doorway like she owns the place. Monét hoists Allie up onto her shoulders and runs ahead, leaves Vanessa and Brooke bringing up the rear, hands entwined.

Brooke giggles as he watches his boyfriend get excited over every little aspect of it, the music playing even though the ride is shut for 'maintenance’. He can feel himself get a little swept up in the magic, letting the kids run ahead as they near the point he’s going to do it.

It’s a model of Ariel and Eric sat in the boat, hands clasped as they face each other. He pulls Vanessa over with a smile, requests Nina take a picture of them re-enacting. They face each other, holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes for a second before Vanessa turns to Nina and gives the cheesiest grin he’s ever seen.

Brooke takes the moment.

He slowly moves down onto one knee as Vanessa whips his head back around, staring at him. His head tilts to the side and his eyes start to water as the Canadian lets go of one hand to reach into his pocket. He knows what’s coming, sees the glint of the ring before the box is even fully open, eyes pouring with tears as he looks to Nina to make sure this is definitely happening. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Monét, knelt with the twins, beaming. He melts a little more.

“José, my love,” Brooke sighs, relaxes his shoulders as he looks back up at the man. “It’s been a long, long road to get here, but I’m so glad we took it.” Vanessa nods, glassy-eyed. “For the record, I asked the kids’ permission to do this,” he chuckles quietly, “Allie only told me she would have to call me Dad. I don’t know about you but that doesn’t seem like a bad price.” Brooke tears up too now, his hand clammy in the other man’s as he squeezes it loosely.

“I love you more than life itself and I really want to share a drag closet with you, a coffee machine, and children, and a last name. I want it all, and I want it with you. ”

“Yes,” Vanessa whispers and Brooke swats at him.

“I haven’t finished yet, bitch.”

“Sorry.” He flushes a subtle red under the set lights - the slight strobing making his tears glitter like diamonds. Only diamonds would be good enough for him, Brooke decides.

“José, will you marry me?”

“No.”

“Baby.” He raises an eyebrow but the contented smile stays, he doesn’t need to worry, knows the real answer and the exact way the man’s mouth will form it, soft consonants and a hard vowel.

“Yes, Brock, always yes.”

They kiss and it feels like victory - crossing the line of a racetrack on an easy win, knowing you earned that crown, that trophy, that kiss. They melt into one for just a second and it’s all Vanessa needs to say everything.

Then the twins are running towards them at an alarming rate. “Dad! Papa!” They shout and it almost brings Brooke to tears again as he picks up Allie, spinning her round and round before pulling her close. She’s getting big and he almost can’t do it anymore butgoddammit he’s going to try. As he holds his fiancé and their kids close, he watches Monét press a kiss to Nina’s temple, thanks God for the family he has.