#and that makes me feel very o_o am i gonna get murdered. why are u telling them abt me why do they care

[8lah8lah]

idk if anyone else is dealing w the same shit but the older me n my siblings get the more fucking unbearable my parents get around any holiday, maybe its just cause when i was a kid i was prone to only thinking abt haha wooo holiday cause Kids Like To Be Happy but any event at all now goes from like. anything comfortable to being deliberately furiously stressed about Absolutely Everything and trying to drag everyone along in their shit and if i was like 13-16 i'd be like this sucks :( but now that im becoming more and more adult it still sucks but it's also like holy shit you really really really do not HAVE to do this. when i was younger i thought being an adult just magically made you meaner or the stresses of having a job made it so that you WILL want to yell over everything but it's like, no!! even if you are angry or stressed you can just choose not to insult your own kid or start yelling about some dirty dishes but they act like it's inevitable and if you point it out cue yelling abt how ungrateful and abusive their own kids forrrr being seperate people??? and its not like im like oh nooo the sanctity of xmas or whatever it's just!!! can i experience the present open holiday without it being a 'go in only once youre absolutely sure you have to, open presents, rush back to room and block out all sounds'. guhhh. cant imagine how much more chill ill be once i live with actually decent people and know i dont have to prepare for or expect ppl deliberately making ur life awful

[kosmicdream]

Temp. FFAK Official Timeline

This is a very rough, temp timeline for FFAK. It mostly covers events that have already happened or at least have been mentioned. I dont really cover anything that is happening in the present day timeline lol. I might make edits to this in case i fucked up in places or maybe ill just do a totally new one at some point! you dont even know how messy my actual one is like my god its an ever worse horrible clusterfuck of text. (Also remember, the ffak story has no time travel so dont be worried about that sort of mindfuckery!) enjoy

Years before 1414: Whenever was 600 million years ago i dont want to do the exact math: Evil Mother is born but shes not called that at all cuz she adopts that name later in life but just know she is here and readt to party Lots of stuff happens. like idk. evolution and life. 600 mil years is a long time ok -LALALA -HUMANS AT SOME POINT COME TO BEING.and form civilization and.. all that -modern human society exist! ppl have tvs and such. -Mandragora Worms have gone ‘extinct’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ooooo -??????????? a ton of other stuff. isnt history cool?? kicks legs, yells -mysterious worm break outs all over dmtia. bombs fall. wars. despair!  -Grant Lumberman gets a doggy at some point and loves it but then it dies and so does his family and friends and his whole city he is relocated to the Auseklis moon colony (on Dmtia’s moon!) along w/ other Vena Cavian kiddos !!!! (in yr 1414)

YEAR 1415 [Scene From Ch. 11: Pages 3161-3196, 3400-3401] Characters: Randall Aiguille - Age 20 Mr. Rotten (Which was named “Aeschylus” at the time, created by Randall) Crosshatch Unit (sort of) Rembrandt Aiguille - Age 22 Grant Lumberman (Aka, ‘Good Leadman’) - Age 14 Octavian “Otto" Silverberg - Age 15 (I was gonna type up every referenced scene like this then i was like fuck it thats too hard! lol)

Years 1416-1425 ?????????????? (most events likely will be mostly covered in a prequel series.) YEAR 1420: Crosshatch Unit first programmed/built by Randall/Rembrandt Aiguille leadman and evil mother fall in lurv at some point

YEAR 1426 Miracle Baby Crimson is Born (From Good Leadman/Evil Mother worm fuck action yeehaw)

YEAR 1427 -Crimson’s 2 eyes are removed + Evil Mother Believes they are dead and leaves Leadman to work with Tricend -Canary is Born (From Evil Mother, and a King Worm) -Hekatons are made (From The King worm that made Canary, concept of Hekatons is from Evil Mother) -July 8th: Perkons Hatches and will not let anyone near the other 4 eggs!! stay away

YEAR 1428 - Good Leadman (Age 27) and Perkons (6 months old) Meet (Happens in Jan) (Multiple scenes in ch10, continued in Ch11) Perkons turns 1 in July. -Perkons gets a hold of 1 of Crimson’s eyes at some point, turns it into a Knife.

YEAR 1429 - Perkons turns 2 in july and is a fully matured adult. Rest of the 4 hekatons eggs hatch sometime after in that year. -Dievas assumes protective guardian role for his siblings.  -Dievas meets Aeschylus. (ch11) YEAR 1430 Perkons turns 3. The rest of the first hekatons are one. During this year they mature to an adult. YEAR 1431 Lauma meets Velns, who is imprisoned. Then shortly after, Perkons confronts Lauma, she is 2, he is 4. So It took place after July 1431. He transforms the 2nd crimson eye into a Spoon in front of her.

Years 1431-1448 (specific dates not all disclosed sry): -Velns/Lauma, Dievas/Laima begin making children. baby baby baby! YEAR 1438 - Crimson (Age 11) is eaten by a Hydragora Queen worm - loosing her human body in the process but gaining a worm one instead. -Crimson runs around in a destroyed city, holding a corpse. Meets Velns who taunts them. -Lauma and Dievas make up, and have their first nest together- a Batch of A/B hybrid eggs. -Lauma is killed by Perkons -Velns is killed by Perkons (Which was also on Dmtia’s Moon, so the moon is destroyed.) -Laima is “killed” by Perkons. (Actually survived, as part of Dievas’ plan.) -Perkons confronts Dievas with the Crosshatch Unit and mention they fight for Peace and under the “Thumb” alliance. Perkons kills Dievas. (scene in ch11) -Laima escapes with A/B Eggs, as well as other hekaton eggs. (and will later form the Ghost Kingdom, which she rules as queen.) ????? many other things happen????? these were some busy years folks

YEAR 1449 -Crimson meets a Helper, Galore the Hekaton, and a Bunny worm (who will later grow up to be agent Paper) in the forests of DMTIA (Ch9) -Galore “meets" her first parents, Lauma and Velns, in some mysterious coma dream thing from listening to crims sexy magical heartbeat (also Ch9) ??????????more events happen??????????? -Galore “Dies” by exploding. Crimson witnesses it. -Bunny wormed named Cirrus “Dies” and is buried in a grave. However, she was only injured she later climbs out only to witness Crimson and Celadon leave in Crimson’s truck and it was the saddest thing ive had to draw ok. i am crying even remembering it ??????????more secret events this was yet another busy and traumatizing year for crimson????????????? -Months later, Crimson (age 23) has a conversation with her third mandragora heart, and ends up having a period sex masterbate-y fantasy that made many readers scream in terror when they read it.(Ch11)

Years 1450-1904 god so much stuff happens during this time, lays on the ground. i mean just fucking look at how much time that is. thats over 450 years lol nbd right

YEAR 1905 -Agent Knife is sent on a remote mission (back to Planet Dmtia) to hunt down one of thumbs most wanted criminals, a man named “SIMON MCGOLD” -After months of searching/failed attempts at locating him, Knife confronts and is stung by Simon’s close personal bodyguard, a queen worm named Nail who is famous for killing over 50,000 Hekatons. (Gaining him the nickname “Hekaton Hunter.” (CH12) -?????????? more stuff happens like you dont even know????????

Years 1906-1924 ??????????? lots of stuff??????? lets laugh at some spoon stuff together tho -Spoon thinks Knife is stupid but weirdly interesting i guess -Spoon tries to pretend hes not in love w/ knife cuz thats like??? g...ay??? -Spoon realizes he’s totally hot for Knife and decides hes gonna totally seduce him -Spoon realizes flirting isnt going well with knife and is actually rly deeply hurt by rejection and so he tries to sleep around w/ other ppl  to pretend hes fine cuz w/e!! who cares -Spoon realizes hes totally in love w/ Knife and is devastated by Deeply Gay emotions -Spoon moves in w/ Knife and spoon tries to pretend he is fine w/ just being Knife’s obsessively devotedly loyal but not romantic/sexual partner. just ttly... platonic.. best dude pals..!!! who murder together -Spoon realizes he cannot handle just being friends and attempts to move out cuz he just is having a meltdown -Knifes like chill we’re already dating and Spoon is like “wtf we are?” and knife’s like “why else would i let you move in w/ me” and spoon just stares at a wall for like 12 hrs in shock -They start to officially for real date™ after spoon regains contact with reality -???????stuff??????? -Spoon dresses up as AGENT BEE!!!!!!!!!!!! THE MOST IMPORTANT EVENT IN ALL OF HISTORY HANDS DOWN MARK UR CALENDARS 

YEAR 1925 July 8th - Simon (now Agent Spoon) has been in a relationship with Knife for 20 years. He meets Celadon #1. Location is the forests on the moon THUMB HQ. who is rightfully pissed as fuck at him. kick his ass, girl (she does btw) (ch11)

YEAR 1926 -Knife Adopts a tiny perfect adorable fluffball c-type and names him Kurt. -Spoon hates it like more than anything ever -Spoon and Knife end up having to live separately, causing a huge strain in their relationship.

Years 1927-1936 -feeling neglected, Spoon starts to sleep around, including the Crosshatch unit and becomes p close friends w/ them! its actually a positive thing for once. wtf (ch11) -Kurt becomes Agent Fork and works alongside Agent Knife on missions and its adorable and great but knife’s depression is also growing bc he misses spoon

YEAR 1937 Cash Leadman is born! :D

YEAR 1938 Rome Aiguille is born! he doesnt even hate worms at this point! Years 1939-1955 more stuff. ect. 

YEAR 1956 -Locket confronts Knife. Knife is so traumatized from meeting a surprise biological child that he has a meltdown and vanishes. he is then believed to have died. -Spoon Explodes from sadness of the news, but does not die. Half of him leaves to Cash Leadman’s house, who convinces him to keep living. He becomes “Scissor”, using her former crosshatch robot body. (ch11) -The other half meets Locket and has his Spoon stolen from him. very sads. Also cant wear thongs anymore (ch11)

YEAR 1957 -At some point during this year, Spoon kills Agent Rock’s dad and also prevents Fork from being able to enter Wibbleworld (his dream). (Scene in ch8) -Fork goes back to prison (guess what, it wasnt his first time goin’ there!) 

YEAR 1958-present -the death of rock’s hot dad springs a chain reaction of all his sons trying to kill spoon and getting revenge. Spoon successfully kills them all though lmfao. dont fuck with the leg.  -fork breaks up with dollop and she starts stalking him

YEAR 1961 -Dylan and Agent Knife meet in Wibbleworld moon, on July 8th (his birthday) He reveals secrets to her. (ch11) -Dylan/Celadon and Antony believe they are successful at killing Agent Knife on this same day.

YEAR 1962 -Feb 2 - Aeschylus wakes up in LEVEL K of the Crosshatch Colony (The Aiguille Moon) and is escorted by Antony Aiguille (Age 21) and Celadon #1, #2 and #3. Dylan and Barfy show up. (Ch 11) -Dylan tries to convince Antony not to get eaten (and fails) (ch12) -March - A mysterious earthquake and worm outbreak kills 20,000 residents in the Crosshatch Colony. O_O  -July 7th - Fork meets Dylan for the first time. :3 (Another serving episode one!) -July 8th: This is where the present timeline begins! Canary wakes up on a platform. Hooray! we made it. i dont feel like typing out the events u can just read the comic i guess lol. farts! 

YEAR 1963: Hasnt actually happened yet, but the final feast is said to occur this year!!!!!!! O_O ooo  EDIT: one of the events were out of order, but this has been fixed (8/19/2017)