#and that just makes the tragedy even worse
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Banhammer x reader
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
• Ah, the infamous ruthless tyrant of Banland, the raging warden who serves justice violently with a swing of his hammer. Maybe he isn’t the most well-known for his actual name, but if you remind people of how close they are getting to see the warden himself, you will definitely witness a lots of them start to wince in raw distress because oh boy do they know better than to be standing face to face with that guy. Banhammer is a merciless and cocky bastard to the core, whether it is his actual intention to piss people off or not. It’s just his nature to get on people’s nerves at this point. So here’s the one hundred bux question: How the hell did you stand his ass? Or just in case you start listing out your reasons - How the heck did the thing between you two even started and then escalated this far?
• For whatever the reason of a joke, your life has been gifting you a miracle under the disguise of a chaotic fun-sized bomb contains confetti and hot sauce when it has weaved the destined red thread on your pinky to Banhammer’s. Like it or not, that’s your case of a deal now. I won’t ask you why all of every options you have available, you go for a guy with an ego as big as his own muscles with the attitude that has the magic to get on anyone’s nerves unintentionally, because your reason won’t amuse me too much. The question isn’t who falls first, but who has the audacity to admit it first because it feels like an endless game of cat and mouse on the river of playing dumb between you and him
• One thing you have to keep in mind about Banhammer is how the idea of dating a mortal is being associated as a foolish act of sentimental behavior, in which that belief has been engraved deep into his mind with little room for negotiation. Especially when he has seen what happened to his cousin’s family, the downfall and the trauma it has left them make him feel uneasy. Maybe a tad of sympathy for them as well, they were too young to witness that. As if his work’s line doesn’t make him have no time left to breathe — let alone dating stuff — but if he has to date, who would he set his eyes on anyway? There are barely any options for him aside from dating a mortal. Will he be enthusiastic about the idea? Hell no, he has stated his mind and nothing can ever change the way he thinks. Will he regret his own statement because he will literally go against that soon? Absolutely
• Because then he meets you. A mortal, no more and no less. Under normal circumstances, you should have been nothing but another light of life passing through with little significance to his life as any other mortals he used to know before. Nothing but a bystander, as how he usually puts it. And it should just stay like that! Unless you’re a criminal of course. But fate just really loves to laugh into his face — or in this case, his attempt of reminding himself that — in the most unexpected way possible. From a stranger, you start to grow on him, for the worse or the bette. It’s just those simple things, yet it makes him looking over to your direction a bit longer than usual. When Banhammer realizes just how much he is pinning over you, wanting to see you the next time he is out of duty, he knows damn well that he is screwed
• He will be in denial. Yes, you hear me right, there are no ways that he is going to deal with these forsaken feelings that shouldn’t exist in the first place. Don’t get him wrong, he likes you genuinely. You have been a pleasant company in his life, something good to look forward to in the future - in which yes, he adds you to that list of those things he likes in his mind. But the idea of commitment to a mortal is still making him feel uncertain. Like he used to say, that’s just asking for tragedy. Children of the Swords are meant to work, not fool around and see what happens! He isn’t going to be a hypocrite that goes back on his words, that’s just absurd. But on top of that, he will never tell anyone this, but he is scared. Don’t think that with those little emotional intelligence will turn him into a mass of brawny muscle, he still feels things too. And he has a reason to be afraid of that possibility
• You are a mortal, he is a demi-deity. Minus the clear difference in status, he knows you can’t stay with him forever until the sun burns into nothing but a beautiful mass of destruction. He will have to grieve you, as he will outlive you sooner or later. Sure, maybe there exists a chance that he will die first since like it or not, he can still be killed by mortal’s hands. But it isn’t a problem to him. Banhammer can keep his head on his neck as long as he has the situation under control. But you on the other hand, will have to deal with old age. He doesn’t like to think of that view in the future, and the heartbreak that comes with it. Windforce above, he is scared. Banhammer will probably be in denial for who knows how long, as long as it will do him a favor of burying his own feelings. But you know this bastard better than that
• Give him a moment to collect himself, then take out a coin. You think that you will need to flip a coin to see if it’s the head or tails? Wrong, just toss the coin into nowhere because you don’t need to know if fate gives you the green light to engage with this mess the two of you have walked in without even knowing it firsthand. As much as Banhammer tries to resist his own feelings, he just can’t resist you. His mind is currently having a storm because of you after all. Like it’s mentioned earlier, give him some time to relax first. Reassuring him that it doesn’t hurt to listen to what we want in our hearts. Maybe you might jest that after you die, he can keep a little piece of your horn to be a good luck charm. And yeah, he will just rolls his eyes with a clicked tongue. Though it does lighten up the mood somewhat after you two just joke around back and forth about it. He appreciates it, he really does. It gives him the courage to decide on his own
• To say that Banhammer doesn’t have confidence is a wild take because have you seen this man? He knows his worths. He knows that if he steps out to the battlefield, he will knock all of those damn criminals down with little regard to error. To claim that he doesn’t know what is he doing is just pure stupidity — although sometimes you do wonder where the hell is his last brain cell in certain moments — he believes in his strength and loves to take on challenges, even going as far as making things harder for himself just to prove how strong he is. Maybe when you step into his life, he does the most questionable thing ever just to impress you. Though it does look silly most of the time, but hey, at least it’s sort of cute
• He strives to be the best, nothing less than that. Banhammer has that competitive spirit that allows him to achieve even the impossible at the nick of time. Sometimes those banters that occur between you two happen just because he finds it so necessary to boost his own name over the moon, especially when it comes to his work. If it isn’t obvious, he can be petty if you’re better than him in what he is an expert at, golf is included. This bastard will literally sulk if you take away his chance to impress you. It’s mostly lighthearted as he will pin it as a goal to surpass you the next time the two of you get around this topic again. His ego is as big as how he looks after all, don’t be so surprised when you see that shit-eating grin looking at you when he wins again
• Banhammer does things in his own way without further useless elaborations. He just acts on whatever he deems fit. Sometimes it brings him quiet the troubles whether it’s with you or his team. When he makes a flaw, he will bring up a scroll of excuse to get his point across. But don’t think he will just repeat that mistake. Banhammer knows how to look back to learn from his mistakes. He just does that without the need of anyone to notice and call it out. It’s irritating to him. Honestly it’s probably the fact he wants to have that feeling when everything is within his grasp so it won’t stray the other way too far. No one needs to point out his mistakes after he acknowledged it. You don’t need to repeat yourself to him, he knows
• Oh boy may the SFOTHs be at your mercy because this guy will definitely tease you until you can’t see the light anymore, especially before the two of you were officially in a relationship. It feels like most of the bones in his body are all mean ones at this point. Sometimes you might wonder if he’s just pulling your leg or does he actually mean what he says. Usually it’s just something about your personality, appearance, work-related stuff or even just out of nowhere stuff when he is beside you. As if that’s the only way he has in mind to strike up a conversation with you: To begin it with a short joke. Don’t worry too much, he means well to a certain extent, so just keep your head up
• This might surprise you but he is actually a decent leader. He has a police team under his command at Banland. Some people might assume that he would treat his subordinates like how he treated his prisoners, but they have never been more than just wrong in their life when saying that. He only cause harm to those dipshits who disobey the obvious law. He still knows what is right and not, making the assumption that he treats everyone like shit is so unfair. Banhammer looks at his subordinates like family at some point. They can even call him out on being stupid when they see him blindfolded himself then almost walking into lava, and he doesn’t take it to heart. They can jest around with him that way with ease
• Banhammer can be such a flirt sometimes. But do keep in mind that he is also pretty out of pocket here and there. Not much of a shocker, isn’t it? When the two of you don’t know each other, he keeps things professional in the box. When you slowly starts to get to know him more personally as the feeling is somehow mutual, that’s the peak of him becoming such a bastard. It’s that line between keeping things casual and making you feel wanted. He literally says the most ridiculous things ever with a straight face. Definitely the type to make suggestive jokes and then laugh his throat off when seeing how flustered you are. But when you return the favor back to him, his brain just stops functioning for a good few seconds as he is pretty much screaming internally like a teenager
• Once you gets to know him better aside from that warden persona he has almost all of the time on while he is at duty, you will soon realize that he also has a heart. Banhammer has a soft side that he hides under the amount of armor wore on his body. He keeps it to himself because letting others get their hands on his ‘weakness’ isn’t what he looks forward to at all. Being soft is equal to being weak, that’s what he keeps repeating inside his mind. But well, not when you manage to work your way into his heart. Spending times alone with you, letting you know the fullest of him - it suddenly doesn’t feel so bad anymore
• This is a hot take but despite that rough and cocky exterior, he is actually pretty lovely in a relationship. Surely that he won’t just flip out immediately and turns into a completely different person when being with you, but you can notice that obvious change of tone in his voice when speaking to you. It feels much more gentle than when he is speaking to someone else. Banhammer isn’t too much of a romantic guy, but he knows how to appreciate a special someone in his life. Each touch he lovingly ghosts against your skin, to caress your face or to rub your back, he means every single one of them. The way he tries to deny the fact that he is nervous because of this particular relationship — which is completely new to him surprisingly — is just adorable while he glances over at you. But you know he holds no heat between those eyes, because the very next moment he already presses a kiss onto your lips as an attempt to prove you his words
• He is pretty much protective of you. This doesn’t just come from the difference in power scales of you and him, but also from the fact that he is worried about those pesky criminals that will seek you out for revenge against him. Although Banhammer is confident of his own strength to protect the two of you, and if you can also fight, he respects that too. But when he has to be away for investigation at other regions, he can’t help but be a little obnoxious when making sure that you are safe and sound at home. Even when you can kick ass, you can’t kick multiple asses at once! And he is even more of a worrywart if you can’t fight much. The thought of someone coming for you when he isn’t there to keep you unharmed is terrifying. You can’t really blame him when wanting to check up on you regularly like that. He means well, please keeps that in mind. Anyone who touches you the wrong way, even just a little bruise, will see a fate worse than Ghostwalker’s purgatory itself. Banhammer swears it, and you knows he takes that seriously
• He works out a lots, mainly to train himself to avoid getting sloppy the next time he is out chasing a certain cultist’s ass off. Seeing him working out is actually pretty intriguing, especially when you take a look at his schedule. It does rotate depending on how the day is going, but nonetheless, it’s all intense as hell. You’re free to join him if you want, but don’t feel awful when you can’t keep up with him and have to give up halfway. Banhammer will laugh at it, saying that you’re already lucky enough you don’t get a stroke then evaporate into nowhere with your determination. He is a demi-deity after all, it’s natural for people like you to be unable to catch up to him. Before you sulk and leave the place, he might tell you to get on his back as he starts doing pushups. You don’t want to miss that invitation, it’s actually pretty amusing when he pulls that off. That’s his way to keep you around and feel useful, and it works like a charm
• His wings are also quite the fascination. It’s not uncommon to be dumbfounded when you realize he has those wings which he can summon under the form of solidified energy at will, since he doesn’t feel the need to let anyone know about it. Poor those criminals when they have to see him charge with that ungodly speed of his wings directly at them though. But for you, things are pretty different than that comical scenario. Banhammer won’t mind holding you while flying around if that’s what you want. But do expect that this guy will still be an asshole about the entire thing as he will playfully threaten to drop you. He will never do that, just so you know. It only happens the few first time you two flying together
• And how can one even forget his unmistakable four eyes? With how much he blindfolded them by his own hands just so he can challenge himself even more, that wince when he takes it off and sees the light poking directly into his four eyes is always a laughable sight. How does it feel to not only have a pair of eyes looking at your direction, but two coming from the same person? When Banhammer takes off his blindfold, his expression will be easier to keep track on as his emotions really just be given away in his eyes. You know just how he is feeling at the moment just by looking into his eyes: Upset, happy, confused, worried…It feels like he is vulnerable in front of you and only you. On the side note, he can’t look directly into your eyes for too long since he sucks at eye contact without a blindfold. it just feels funny in a questionable way in his mind
• His hugs are suffocating in the best way possible. It’s firm, a bit rough yet still has that soothing effect that is able to calm your nerves down when needed. It’s hard to struggle out of his hug, but it doesn’t feel bad at all. You already knows just how strong he is with all that muscles and stuff going on inside his body, and with how he wields his massive hammer with ease too, so it’s natural to assume that Banhammer has that deadly powerful grip that can easily bruise you if he isn’t being careful. Honestly he is reluctant to give you physical affection at first, mainly because he doesn’t want to underestimate his strength and hurt you intentionally. It takes him quite a while as well as a good load of reassurance that he won’t crush your bones that easily — Mind you, he can but he won’t, just saying — until he eventually gives in
• Whether it’s because of the fact that Banland are surrounded by lava pool scattered almost everywhere on the surface or it’s just the fact that he is a walking personal heater, Banhammer’s body is more than just warm. Hold the hot jokes, I know you were about to say it. Yup, hold your horse buddy. But he does feel like a walking fireplace for most of the time, especially during winter for some reasons that you both can’t fully comprehend. He is the prefect partner to cuddle beneath the blanket with when you have a long day, as it’s highly recommended that you should do so in rainy or snowy weather. Summer can be a bit insufferable though, since his body feels too warm to your taste. You will probably have a heatstroke hugging him without an air conditioner in the room
• Sometimes he says blunt things that will hurt your feelings. He is rather emotionally inept, oblivious to other’s emotions around him. Banhammer tends to be brutally honest with his mind, saying things that can hurt others without realizing the actual effect behind it. Even when people get annoyed or upset with him, he might fail to even notice at first. Sometimes it can lead to a serious verbal fight between the two of you. That is until you have to point directly into his face and makes a statement about how hurt you felt when he said that does he realize he has screwed up. Banhammer is pretty much dumbfounded at the weight of his own words to you. Seeing you upset makes he feel bad. Banhammer will try his best to make things right again so that he can see that smile which he loves soon. Please know that he is trying, he doesn’t mean to hurt you
• Banhammer cares for you. If you’re mad at him, he will do just anything to make it up for you, even at the most absurd request you make him do - which he will begrudgingly accept his fate because he knows damn well just how angry you are. He is, surprisingly, willing to take a step back in an argument when things are too heated. Only you have that privilege though, other time he will just grunt back as if he is about to chew the other speaker’s head off. He mainly figures out how to apologize to you on his own without the help of anyone, it’s just embarrassing if one day he comes up to his subordinates and ask what should he do when his beloved is mad at him. They will laugh the living hell out of themselves. But then again, he does keep in mind what do you like so he can get it or do it in addition to his apology. Sometimes he does it pretty stiff since it feels off to actually apologize to someone. But hey, it’s the genuine thought that counts
• Windforce might have heard of you, mainly because of how Banhammer has quite the deep connection with his momma. This guy is a certified mama’s boy after all. He will tell her everything about you once he gets the chance to see his momma again. Windforce is pretty taken back by the news of her son’s selection in partner, a mortal, to be specific. She does doubt you at first due to her worries towards her son. But them she has came into terms with it as she knows there are no point interfering Banhammer’s business. She doesn’t have time to meet you, as she is pretty much occupied with her own business. Yet she will still send her blessings to you, a favor from her for making her son that happy. As long as Banhammer is contented with you, she doesn’t see the point in being against the whole thing
• His strong sense of justice is inherited from Windforce. Although it doesn’t sound that fitting, ‘justice’ and ‘Windforce’ together, since most demons know her because of her ruthlessness. But little did you know about the connection between using force and serving righteousness. Her justice doesn’t involve the gray between black and white, and it can blind her to the extreme point. Banhammer looks up at his mother, so he has taken her justice with him. The reason he resolves to use violence is because it teaches a better lesson than normal words - a good point, because even Banhammer knows that he sucks at using words to find a peaceful solution with those pesky criminals. He cringes at the lowly idea
• There will be a day that you will be but a memory in his mind. Banhammer used to be scared of the thought of you dying due to your mortality before him — and for your information, he still feels that uneasy feeling whenever he is reminded of it — but seeing those happy moments between the two of you, he knows that the film of you running in his mind will be a pleasant one. He will grieve you, of course he will. But then those good memories will help him back onto his feet once again. Banhammer will convince himself he that you are watching over him and his future. The thought of your spirit just cheering on his accomplishments is kinda funny, but endearing. Sometimes he might look at you with this silly question in his mind: If he can go back in time, will he still make the decision of this lifelong commitment with you
• And he answers it on his own with no hesitation: Always. No matter how many choices he is allowed to make, he will still come to you. Like it or not, aside from his mother and his works of serving justice, you will also one if his most important responsibilities who he adores and cherish until everything returns to ashes. You are his lover after all, why wouldn’t he choose you? He makes a vow to stay with you no matter what happens. Despite that cocky attitude that makes you want to punch him into the oblivion, you can’t deny that his soft side does melt your heart. Please remember just how much you mean to him, because you are the best thing he has ever happened in his life, he has the right to be proud of that
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
Note: I’m so sorry for the delay! Hopefully these are long enough to make up for my disappearance (*´-`)
#phighting x reader#x reader#phighting!#banhammer x reader#banhammer phighting#phighting banhammer#shui mo’s black tea
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Modern Timebomb HC:
HC that even in a modern setting, regardless on whether or not the life she lives is "better" and less tragedy filled, that Jinx still has her issues which only tend to get worse when she get's older. As a result of it, she's a bit of a gassed out wild child who while sure is still good at her classes (surprisingly) even though she is one of those funny ha ha clowns, is still very much not into good coping mechanisms which as a result have exacerbated the issues she goes through.
Drugs, booze, multiple sabotaged attempts at companionship and a handful of toxic relationships surely don’t help her cause. And of course seemingly to add a nail to the coffin, is the fact that everybody knows her for the same reasons mentioned, but no one actually knows her. Even her sister doesn’t fully understand her, and that’s sad cause Vi wants to, it’s just hard. So as a result, Jinx basically becomes that one person. Whose somehow still so alone in a crowded room.
However, even with everything going against her, the one constant she tends to always have is whenever she's having a bad night or day, she ALWAYS sneaks off to go see Ekko.
Who knows why it’s always Ekko. Even after so many years even Ekko is unsure why it’s always Ekko. Hell even Jinx doesn't know why, but Ekko for the longest time has always tended to be her safe space. She always finds herself calmer and more in-tune with herself whenever she is with him. That's NOT to say her family doesn't help. But their help just doesn't FEEL the same compared to his.
It’s always Ekko who’s there for her. Who’s there to pick her up off the bathroom floor at some seedy club or some shit. Who’s always there while she throws up everything but her memories. Whose with her during the multiple hospital visits when the “fun” gets to be to much and she over does it. She hates to do that to him of course. She hates to make him sad. He doesn't deserve that. So when they get older she tries to distance herself from him, to put space between them to save him the heartache and trouble. But they always manage to somehow find a way to get back to each other.
(They could never stay so far away from each other for so long.) Its sometime around then, that Ekko was quick to realize, or perhaps he already always knew, that he was her safe place, a soft comforting place to fall. And she fell often, and she often fell hard. . .and he's very sorry he's all she has to fall on now.
But oh. . . he would never have it any other way. . .
But thats not so easy for Jinx to admit. . .
Drugs booze, clubbing. None of it is “fun” anymore because it’s run out the fun for her. She’s literally just doing it for the same reason she started
escape
So whatever you do, Don’t picture jinx on the bathroom floor of some seedy night club. Don’t picture jinx on the bathroom floor bathed under the moody blue of club lights. Don't picture her shaky and sweaty and sick because she over did it again. Don't picture her taking out her cellphone, and going through her contacts and stopping at just one number in particular.
Just one Don't picture her ready to press call only to stop halfway because does she call him?
should she?
She feels like death has keeled over. She knows she needs help, but him? Does she really do that to him again? Does she really wanna put him through that again?
Hasn’t she done enough to him already?
Is it easier to just forget? To leave it be? To make it easier on everyone?
It’s late he’s probably asleep. . .
Does she leave it?
well. . .of course she does
Don’t picture her putting her phone away
Don’t picture her curling up on herself, crying like the mess she is.
In fact, Don’t picture her at all. Cause she’s not so sure if she really wants to be remembered at all anymore
She doesn’t want to remember anymore She doesn’t want to be remembered anymore. And how scary it is that she’s so content with the idea of dying forgotten, dying here alone, that she doesn’t even bother to call anyone as if the idea of it is second nature.
How easy it is for her to just put the phone away. Curl up and let the world go dark. And she does do that. Because it is easy. To just slip away like this. No one knows she’s here anyways. It’s so easy
Or at least it would have been. Had someone not forgotten about her. But of course, what did she suspect? He always did seem to have a six sense when it came to finding her. Knowing when she needed him.
So it really shouldn't come as no surprise to her, that when she wakes up (tragically), even tho she expects to be picking herself up off the bathroom floor of that seedy club right before closing time when the lasting club music throbs her skull into pieces, that that’s not what she wakes up to Instead it's too a breeze instead, and the low thrum of a car's engine and her head lying against the window and all she sees outside of it is the slowly passing amber lights of street lamps. The suns coming up but it’s still dark. And if she turns her head just slightly, and forgets the headache that’s blasting in her brain, she'll see him. And there he is
There he always is.
One hand on the steering wheel, the other on her knee. The gesture is familiar. And perhaps she's too drunk and drugged up to know any better, but she will cry, and she will apologize to him for doing this to him again. And maybe later they’ll argue like they usually do, about how insistent she is that he should just leave her and go on with his life and forget about her.
But for now she’s tired. And she feels his hand on her knee, thumb rubbing her kneecap and she cries and she apologizes and all he can say is
"I know love. . I know"
And there’s no malice in his tone because he does. . .he does know, and he does understand. . . he always did know her better then the others. Perhaps even more then she herself did. And jinx is not sure if she’s happy about that or not.
But for now she'll just sleep in the passenger seat. Sad and miserable and sick But not alone
#arcane#ekko#ekko arcane#ekko league of legends#ekkojinx#timebomb#jinx and ekko#ekko lol#ekko x jinx#jinx arcane#jinx#jinx league of legends#jinx x ekko
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👤 + junko!
@anticutes Send me 👤+ a character name for my muse’s opinion on that character
“ Enoshima Junko… Huh.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive her for what she did. The lives she took won’t ever return... All because she just wanted despair, because she was bored, she stole everything from us. I'll never forget that. I can't. I won't. Everything that happened in that school is seared into the back of my eyes... And I'm going to carry it for the rest of my life. ...Even so, even then... When I look back on that year, I don’t think that it was a lie. I don’t know exactly how long she was planning what happened to us, to the world. But I can't just look back on the time our whole class spent together and think of it as fake. It was real. ... Like I feel towards everyone else in Class 78... I don't regret meeting her.
…I should have done something more. Back then, I should have moved to stop her. Dying isn't something that saves anyone. "
#anticutes#in character — only my heart‚ that won’t give up.#asks.#I AM ALWAYS SO BRAINROTTED OF MAKOTO'S OPINION OF JUNKO#especially in a situation where he's not dealing with her and handling a Situation and just. thinks about the past and everything#that happened. it's complicated and nuanced and gets even more so#once he gets his memories back even if those memories don't completely line up with the person he currently is thanks to the trauma#makoto: dying won't save anyone. Junko killing herself was not salvation. I'm exhausted of death#also makoto who is actually suicidal in some ways post-dr1:#the way he's twisting himself into pretzels to protect the memories he regained......man#though ultimately what junko did would not tarnish them. thinkin abt his belief that bad things happening in the present don't#spoil good things that happened in the past (or at least he tries to keep to that opinion. but this really tests the limits of it)#in a way he's actually correct that the class' time together wasn't a lie and that Junko didn't secretly hate them all. the class WAS happy#and that just makes the tragedy even worse#because that truth is what made Junko set things up the way she did#god. fuck. Makoto blaming himself for her death even though he was hardly in the shape to jump to action with the bad concussion#(he has the mother of all guilt complexes)
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Oh hey what about a groundhogs day event where the hero has to relive their traumatic “One Bad Day”-esque backstory but it’s another hero they either know really well and the only way to break the loop is letting that horrible event happen
Bc I’m basic my first thought was “Oh, this would absolutely tear up anyone having to walk down crime alley knowing way too well what’s about to happen”
But I’m also obsessed with my blorbo so my other thought was “Omg lol, imagine if one of the adult heroes ended up in Billy’s body just before his parents left to go die on their dig and think maybe they can save their co-worker the tragedy he faced so young only for every attempt they succeed at getting them to stay keep the loop going and they realize they have to let them go and doom this kid all over again. Haha, extra points if the loop actually lasts from that point to them actually dying so they wake up the next day thinking they failed again only for it to be tomorrow and suddenly Uncle E gets the call that his brother and sister in law are dead and then whoever is in Billy’s body is getting thrown out with a suitcase realizing maybe the nightmare is going to last longer.”
And I just had to laugh bc goddamn my brain cant stop with angst
#‘DC stop making Billy miserable’ I say into the mic#‘I can make it worse’ says my brain ready to swing at the orphan with a sledge hammer#Groundhog Day but body swap basically#even funnier if they DONT know their fellow hero but still realizes the warning flags and tries to save them only to keep waking up#that tragedy of knowing what’s going to happen to someone you care about but the only way to escape is to let it happen#also just the jarring shift back to childhood for a lot of these heroes#other ideas being stuff like one Robin dealing with Dicks One Bad Day doing all they can to save his parents#someone dealing with the day Clark lost his parents/Pa specifically as his Bad Day bc he was too baby for the whole Krypton thing#maybe even a villain/antagonist trying to stop their hero from existing but just ending up sympathetic#then when the day is over they are through a whole character arc and don’t even want to fight anymore bc ‘I am so sorry for your loss’#vice versa too since villains have their Bad Days too#if this has been done for DC please tell me so I can go feral over this idea#dc#billy batson#shazam#batman#fanfic inspo#fanfic ideas#groundhog day#dc comics
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salvaged from the office fire in 1998
#my art#the x files#dana scully#fox mulder#alex krycek#i was talking about this on twitter yesterday but#i have a LOTTTTTT a lot of thought about this part of season two#mainly because i think that while scully probably realized she was never going to find peace ever again after emily#i do believe that the last time mulder ever thought everything would be okay was right before scully’s abduction#which is also kind of why i think mulder was closer to killing himself in ascension than in gethsemane#at the end of season four mulder is kind of resigned to his and scully’s lives unravelling#he’s more suspicious and slower to trust then he ever was#while ascension was the first time he was like. Oh okay. It’s over for us forever and ever#and the fact that he was still open and still kind of okay before that just kind of makes it worse#that he was just betrayed and left hanging and lost everyone he thought he had in one fell swoop#ascension jades the fuck out of him and you can see it. like through the whole series there are threads of it#his tendency to rely on skinner regresses for a while. he becomes even less functional when scully is gone.#he has far less patience for his informants and he refuses to rely on anyone the way he tried to on krycek#like it’s just. such an obvious shift in his character that you can tell his mindset about his and scully’s life has changed#and that’s a huge part of the show’s tragedy i think. there is no peace. there is no rest. it’s never going to be okay
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Chapter 4 Musing + Bonus thoughts in tags
I've been thinking about this recently and realized: Yakou did have a chance of surviving the gas but made the deliberate choice not to:
[Solution Key - Toxic Gas Properties]
Yakou could have asked Desuhiko for a space suit; I don't even think the latter would question it either, this hammers more of the fact that the plan was a murder-suicide from the start. Though, this is the same man who takes dying over and over again in considering and still went through with it.
He really only needed Desuhiko's and Fubuki's fortes to enact the murder, but he brings Halara and Vivia to the lab as well. Yakou knows damn well the peacekeepers, especially Yomi will look for any excuse to arrest/execute the NDA. He brings Halara and Vivia to protect Fubuki, Desuhiko and Yuma; Yomi accuses the remaining NDA detectives for Yakou's 'murder' anyways. It was somewhat fruitless but the fact of the matter is to say even when lying to the others he did still care about them. Just as much as Yakou cared about the NDA the latter cared about Yakou just as much too. Yakou was really the heart of the NDA; Yakou just never took into account that everyone else would try desperately to save his life instead of just leaving him. (Going on a whim, to say he probably thought they'd just leave like how his former detectives left to join the peackeepers).
Yuma trying to beg Yomi to get Yakou medical attention, Fubuki using all her energy to rewind time in order save him, Halara administrating first aid after fighting the peackeepers, Desuhiko having to tell Fubuki to not to turn back time any further so the Chief can rest because it is too late and Vivia just standing there walking away since he doesn't know how to deal with it and express it directly. Hell, Halara was potentially giving CPR to his corpse in hopes that he'd stay alive after Yuma and Vivia checked Huesca's logs.
Finally, there's everyone's collective survivors guilt. It's safe to assume everyone knew what happened before Number One called in whether Yuma or Vivia said something; There's also Kurumi who wasn't even at the lab asking if they made a mistake by going.
In closing, it's a tragedy in every single way and I don't even think I hit everything in this musing; To me this is more focused on the NDA's perception of events
[I'd appreciate if people made responses to this by the way!!]
#Writing isnt my strong suit so I hope this suffices#This came to mind because source memories giving me a hard time + I'm generally bad at writing fics so Analysis/Musing Post is a go-to#i have no clue if i should keep making posts like these or not and if so use first person since. irl#but im a little worried about it? so just asking to see if people are okay with that#Chapter 4 will NEVER not be a tragedy because everytime you can find smaller shards or fragments from this case's cracked mirror#those shards and fragments cut you even more then just the already broken mirror#it stings perpetually if anything#picking up any more pieces of that mirror makes it worse but we keep doing it to see a better picture or out of wishful thinking perhaps#master detective archives: rain code#mdarc#rain code#The imperfect insider#yakou furio#yuma kokohead#fubuki clockford#desuhiko thunderbolt#halara nightmare#vivia twilight#kurumi wendy#KillerKiller.txt#Master Detective Archives
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i am always filled with so much dread
#kae.txt#when i was 13 i used to lie awake in bed thinking about climate change and disastrous weather phenoma and i would just lie there in silence#and fear and uncertainty and any night it was hotter than like a cool 65-70F id just get even worse cause it felt like everything would be#immediate and there was nothing i could do about it and i was suicidal then too but i didnt wanna die in whatever climate based death#id conjur up in my mind and then thatd make me wanna die even more bc the only way to avoid a tragedy like that in my mind was to not be#there for the tragedy when it happened#anyways im full of dread#a different thing im not worried about the weather right now i havent been scared like that in a while#it feels silly to share but i want it off my chest and out of my head and its too late to talk to anyone
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「つうか、みっちゃんが一番好きだ。」
「俺が死ぬまで一番。」
— Actually, you're number one for me, Micchan.
— You're number one until the day I die.
永遠の昨日 第3・8話 | Eternal Yesterday ep. 3&8
#yeah. so. i decided to torture myself by rewatching this show. lost count of how many times i cried. way worse than the first time#knowing everything and still watching it was painful in a whole different way it was a brand new show even though i still remembered it all#eien no kinou#eternal yesterday#jdrama#watching this while it was airing and having zero clue how it was going to end was like a rollercoaster#cus i kept going oh... that looks bad. to oh wait maybe? to oh crap that sounds foreboding. to ohh maybe with this?? to oh shit oh god#and this time around it was all just... the knowing. not the knowing that it's a tragedy but the knowing how mitsuru will be in the future#knowing that koichi changed everything for him and even though he gave him the ability to connect with other people for the first time#he also took a huge chunk of that ability with him when he left#and we don't know if mitsuru will ever regain it#mine#bl drama#bl series#ANYWAY i just had to put my emotions into something so i made these to let it outttt#they're not exactly what i originally planned but i still liked making them and CRYING
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Following my usual daily ventures on X and Tumblr, I realized that there's two things that I wanted to address/bring up. So, as per usual: spoilers. /echo, echo.
— The Fade prison is still failing. It needed replacement (which is referenced on several occasions, but a big one is during the memory with Mythal that expands on the DAI scene), and nothing in current lore tells me that this has changed in any way: it's still failing. Nothing I can find says that it now being bound to Solas, who is decently weaker than Elgar'nan, magically 'resolves' that issue. Therefore, his 'atonement' doesn't automatically equate to an 'eternal imprisonment', even if Lavellan's choice of words for going with him include 'forever', for she simply doesn't know what she's walking into or for how long, and instead enforces this tether to him from the deepest form of trust one one else could ever find (heartbreak.mp3). The atonement lasts as long as Rook decides as they hold the dagger, or until the Veil falls on its own. But that touches on another topic briefly: if you want to 'punish' Solas the most, or longest— though this ending is 'kindest' (not quite), it is the one that keeps him in the prison the longest. The dagger trick (this warrants a post on its own, and it's the only one I have writing beef with, character 'bias' aside), or the worst ending(s) all send the lyrium dagger with him, which, has you wonder if he's then simply given the opportunity to slice into the Veil, and slip out. Does the prison need a host, if said host holds the lyrium dagger? And even if he couldn't what could he do from inside after 'Pride' has been taunted, and 'punished' (in Rook's, and the audience's eyes), since again, he is in possession of his dagger? There is no atonement here, only resentment from a spirit that is now even closer to finding its fully perverted nature of a Pride demon. So I think if speaking morally across the board, which option is really 'for the greater good of Thedas', instead of personal resentment (though understandable)? But in that, I like that we're repeatedly told that we don't know, and we're making it up as we go. Out of all protagonists, Rook's personal journey of mental development is the most intriguing to me, and arguably (in my opinion), is the most 'human' in the sense that I think they give us the most relatable options of choice, understandable/relatable resentment being one of them. But anyway, I digress: if the atonement ending isn't chosen, then I definitely think the story isn't quite concluded, even though I don't believe that it ever really is.
— Blood magic. No, Solas has no loathing for the nature of blood magic at its essence. He stated so very clearly back in DAI during a conversation with the Inquisitor in Haven, and the bit of the conversation that pertains to my point goes as follows: 'Magic is magic, just as water is water, but it can be used in different ways. (...) Dalish magic is more practical, not needing Chantry approval, although they still frown on blood magic. Superstition.' And when you ask him to elaborate, 'You said censure against blood magic was a superstition...' He adds: 'Most modern cultures forbid blood magic. Publicly, even Tevinter disapproves of it. But as I said, magic is magic. It matters only in how it is used.' And yes, I can already hear it, I know exactly what point will be brought up (lucky me, I found a video that touches on this exact topic that showcases both scenes): and I want to say firmly that no, this is not a retcon, nor is it Solas changing his mind, nor is this a total and utter lie (he rarely, rarely lies that fully, and clearly). He simply states that he abhors the use of it, as in— he, himself, despises using it; which is why he so firmly says no to Cole, when the notion is brought up in DAI. Now yes, he did employ the use of blood magic in relation to Rook (the extents, I need to do research on, as it's obvious that Solas absolutely winged that part of this 'plan', but all of it is also a bit flimsily written due to, for starters, the details that Varric shares being incredibly personal at times, but I digress), and I see so many on X and whatnot complain of how this means that 'Solas changed his mind', no— what it intends to show you, is the ferocity with which he believes that he, and only he, is able to fix what he broke. The game intends to show you that over, and over again, and it is to prove just how far a spirit can be pushed from where it started. And no, stop approaching Solas as if he is your regular elf next door, or anything but exactly what he is: a spirit. Trying to sway a spirit from its nature is incredibly difficult (we'll go into Mythal, and the nature of his care, and devotion to her that started the journey of his spirit's perversion, another day), and that is literally the explanation behind what people are calling an 'inconsistency'. It's called desperation, but more so, the strength of a belief, or more specifically, how far something that is akin to being... the 'personification' of a belief can go in, well, its own belief. I think Solas has proven that one can go very far. The perversion of spirits, and the reality of what demons then truly are, is a tragedy that Dragon Age has been trying to prove to us for years. It doesn't take away the wrongs that they can do once they get twisted, but it's tragic, because spirits are benevolent; serene, and peaceful at their core. And it's kind of heartbreaking to know that something so purely good, can be pulled from that nature.
#veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#[ i'm not noting these as a solas apologist-- i'm not. i actually put a fair chunk of accountability and responsibly with him. ]#[ more so than i see big fans do. so i absolutely am not forgiving of his actions. but it makes me sad that it got to such a point. ]#[ that it could /ever/ get to such a point. because we still saw his nature as a spirit of wisdom in dai. ]#[ how he was content at people's curiosities and willingness to learn. ]#[ seeing those scenes again warms me-- because it's a small glimpse that you get in the midst of pride. ]#[ i 100% agree with weekes. to understand the character of solas and just how tragic the concept is of a spirit that goes down this path. ]#[ you /need/ the romance. it's not like anders in my opinion (for instance); you still get all of that tragedy without a romance. ]#[ but you absolutely don't with solas. so yes; i agree with them so much. weekes is right. ]#[ but i just. god. i get glossy eyes thinking about it. i condemn actions; i truly do. but i do so with a heavy heart. ]#[ because the more you read about spirits and /demons/. the sadder i get. it's the same with lucanis and spite actually. ]#[ he was a spirit of /determination/ before he was twisted into spite. but even spite itself says things at times that ruin me. ]#[ but also solas' “banter” at him in the end: 'it is a crime against you both. i may be able to separate you safely'. ]#[ it just hurts me. and yes. he gets a comment from spite-- of course. demon to twisted spirit. but it's taken. 'a fair point'. ]#[ but that too hurts me. and i think it hurt him. it's just the nature/reality of twisted spirits aaaAAAAa god. save me. ]#[ ... this is so full of typos. rip me. but it's like 3am. that's my excuse. ]#[ solas: meta. ] just remember; an enemy can attack but only an ally can betray you. betrayal is always worse.#[ solas. ] how small the pain of one man seems when weighed against the endless depths of memory. of feeling. of existence.
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i am once again astounded at the bsd fandom's ability to make everything about skk when, in fact, it has very little to do with skk
#this is about beast.#like okay i see the allure of beast!skk but seriously??? it's way overhyped#you just want to make everything about the only two characters you can bring yourself to care about when it is#NOT ABOUT THEM#BEAST ISN'T ABOUT SKK. BEAST IS BARELY EVEN ABOUT SSKK.#BEAST IS ABOUT THE INHERENT TRAGEDY OF HAVING A SIBLING AND WHAT DESTRUCTION THAT CAN CAUSE#beast is about what core characteristics of a person remain the same in every universe#and what is changed based on environment and circumstance#beast is about the unimaginable power and danger of platonic love#beast is about showing how the people around you help you grow - for better or for worse - and changing even just one person#in your constant vicinity can have rippling effects on the person you become in their absence. or in the presence of someone else.#beastskk is going to go straight to the top of my hate list THIS AIN'T ABOUT THEM!!!! THIS IS ABOUT LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE#ahem. anyway#i'm gonna get cancelled over this just wait#grace reads bsd
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thank god i've come back to tumblr after all this time bc where else could i say "i've been simping for the scarecrow from batman begins lately" with impunity. anyway thank you cilian murphy for your service
#idk his take on scarecrow fascinates me bc of his progression through the trilogy#like we're all familiar with the 'villain descends into madness' trope and how it's usually played as a tragedy#we see traumatic backstories & flashbacks & the underlying narrative is 'i don't want to be this way' or 'i just want it to stop'#so i'm obsessed with the fact that when we see crane again in dark knight & dark knight rises he's Even More Confident than he was in bb#he goes from quiet meek-ish schemer to wise-cracking criminal who smirks at the batman when he's unmasked#and then to the preening judge of bane's mock court doling out death sentences like it's a game to him#and like we Could have had the scarecrow that we saw in the end of bb: straitjacketed & descending into madness#we Could have had a harvey dent-ish downfall where he becomes someone to pity rather than someone to fear#but we didn't! we got a guy who said 'what drives you crazy makes you stronger' and went on to have a whole lot of maniacal fun#and i think that's really the essence of how batman villains Become iconic batman villains: being utterly ride or die for their public imag#scarecrow: oh i got gassed & went a little delulu? i'm a known criminal who will never hold a job as a doctor again in my life?#scarecrow: so what i'm getting here is that i'm free to become Worse~#batman#jonathan crane
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s. s ave me, meoto…
#n o t me clinging to meoto to retain my sanity bc g o o d l o r d today was the worst#today was truly a very bad; very horrible day indeeeeeeed#man. today truly was a comedic tragedy in every way possible. i’d laugh if i were anyone else tbh#first i couldn’t start my workstation bc we were out of this cleaning acid thing.#t h e n this other branch lab sent over a precise amount of [reagent] that we needed to make the cleaning acid thing#*and* what’s worse was that they also demanded like. 1/5 of the acid we mixed. like bro. make it yourself mans.#but the worst part was when i tried to use a dropper to poke this sediment out of [tube i was supposed to be cleaning]#bUT THEN HALF OF THE DROPPER MELTED BC THAT BUGGER CAN’T HANDLE HIGH TEMPERATURES AAAAAAAAAAAAAA#stupid new droppers man. the old droppers could handle 100 degrees just fine. s o now the tube is clogged with melted plastic and it’s just.#life’s *really* great sometimes yk~~~~? (ʘ‿ʘ)#and so the night shift dude who came to take over the workstation against expectations seemed kinda pissed that i hadn’t started anything#and im just there. with my intestines wriggling about like internal abdominal worms. tryin not to cry in the face of my mistake.#while he’s fumin’ away like a freakin’ chimney or sth. like. man. no one asked you to take this workstation. you came here on your own. :(#anyway i ditched him and left for my break to calm myself down only to be approached by some random terribly lost middle aged to old lady#who was looking for directions to *somewhere* but she only spoke chinese aaaaaaaa#and i can’t read maps/i don’t even live in the area of my workplace so i have no idea if the lady managed to make it safely#but. lol. the lady showed me her message screen when she asked me for directions to her destination#and by pure coincidence the person she was texting is apparently related to someone with the same first name as me#the cons and cons of having common names man. i hope the lady managed to find her friend with the same name as me though lol#anyways. pls hw im begging. pls drop the crossfade for lxl birthday tmr i n e e d more meoto to carry on—#s o b s this is what im living for now ig. meoto………..
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Sometimes I get mad and sometimes I remember Yuuji never had peace and a moment to simply exist and be himself since he ate Sukuna’s finger. He always had to fight, to prove he has meaning and worth. And I get even madder.
#jjk#yuuji itadori#no im not done complaining#hes just a orphan this boy never even had a normal family#his entire life is a tragedy#and gege wants to make it even worse#bring back his old friends#those ppl actually liked him#those ppl never believed he is worthless#he was the same as them
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my real favourite character is Nidhogg, I’m only obsessed with Estinien bc he’s a hangers-on /jokes
#saint.txt#spoilers#major spoilers#no but for real dravanian lore is SO horrific if you actually look into it#and the depths Nidhogg dove to in his crusade and the level of harm he inflicted on his own children in service to it#in a lot of ways makes him worse than the Vault.#Nidhogg dies agonizingly without any real closure and scared of the end bc he has nothing left to go on for.#he *has* to die because nobody can move on for as long as he lives and that’s a huge tragedy. despite everything he’s still a member#of a dwindling First Brood (half of which have died and were tortured at the hands of men). he’s still a father. a son. an uncle. a brother#his fanily still loves him even as they have to raise the blade over his neck. either him or Ishgard dies.#he isn’t a villain just evil for the sake of it he has real motives and one of the deepest wells of love out of any character in the game.#and killing him doesn’t even really fix anything. all of Ishgard’s problems are still there bc Nidhogg was not the cause.#sure it gives Ishgard a space to start fixing those problems but…that’s not really saying much.#idk most MMOs pretty blindly just say you killed the big bad!! everything’s cool now!! and it’s really poignant that HW didn’t#you killed a grieving brother who was never able to move on. he found no closure in death. and in the process you made a lot of things#in Ishgard exponentially worse than they already were. his death isn’t a victory.#it’s a long and awful and drawn out tragedy of a man who shouldn’t have had to die.#he did a lot of awful things. but he was still family to a lot of people.#and he was a good person once. lots of his friends and family remember who he was before the grief tore him apart.#and you can’t write Nidhogg or Estinien without considering the other bc they’re the same person in almost every way.#enjoy my propoganda Nidhogg will be your favourite character too if I have anything to say abt it
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myrkul: hi I'm an unambiguously evil death god of cruelty and suffering who has never had anything to do with you until right this moment, would you like to align yourself with me in exchange for the power to win this midtier combat you're already in the middle of winning and no other clear benefits whatsoever
eachthighern: um hey hi it's me your current patron, you know, the good god of protection and light who has only ever given you unwavering strength and hope and support through all your darkest hours and also extraordinarily powerful magic powers and the ability to heal? I am still here and have never stopped being here and I love you very specifically and personally? remember?
the warlock: hmm..... hmmmmmmm
#THIS CAMPAIGN MAKES ME CRAZYYYY#after the session: oh if we'd played last week [when my mental health was a little worse] she would have absolutely taken that offer#AGSKFLDHSSJ WOULD SHE? HAVE?? WHY???? TO WHAT END-- WHAT WAS THERE TO BE GAINED!!!#yeah idk if I was feeling just a leetle more Dramatique I would have turned evil for no particular reason at the slightest opportunity 😌#she keeps (lovingly!) accusing justin of running such a GRIMDARK DRAMATIC CAMPAIGNNN AAUUUGHH#and justin's just sitting here like 😶#all the dark stuff we encounter almost always resolves on a note of hope and of the triumph of light over darkness#the central themes of this campaign are hope in the face of despair and the strength found in love and camaraderie#and he's VERY GOOD at playing out and reinforcing those themes!! SHE keeps defaulting to HEAVY DESPAIR over problems SHE MADE UP#why!!! would you be tempted by the evil god who was offering you functionally nothing!!!#like forget 'oohh a tragedy' that's not even a narratively compelling temptation!!!#she roleplays her like a Good Person™ who's so Tortured by The Horrors that The Trauma is Pushing Her Down A Dark Path#but in the actual game we just? keep having unambiguous wins and everyone is nice to her and supports her??#she is inventing the horrors in her own brain. babe if you considered even for a second taking that deal#when your current patron who has never let you down was literally also right there and the deal was for absolute peanuts#well I think you are just simply not a good person#which might be one thing but I don't think she (the player) REALIZES that she's roleplaying just... kind of a shitty person actually#she thinks she's roleplaying a Good Person who's being corrupted by how horrible her life is but it's like. literally not. like at all#exhausting. EXHAUSTING. THIS CAMPAIGN IS SO STRESSFUL FOR NO REASON AUUGHH
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me & kuseno both want to be happy for genos when his life with Saitama & his duty as a hero help him get away from all the vengeance & hatred eating him alive but also letting go is a very difficult thing to ask. it's like asking tanjiro to forget what muzan did.
#best example i cld find cuz unlike genos tanjiro is a main character whose tragedy is taken v seriously and i dont mean that it's not -#entirely the case with genos it's just the difference in how ppl perceive it#you don't see anyone hoping that tanjiro would simply let go and go live a happy peaceful life while muzan is still out there killing ppl#AND IT'S THE EXACT SAME CASE WITH GENOS#maybe even worse cuz genos witnessed a massacre of his entire town#and in both cases the culprit has been & is STILL taking lives & causing destruction#idk what im talking abt here i hope u guys can see where im coming from#can genos stop making me insane for one night maybe#⋆ ☆ 【 ジェノス 】 : ̗̀➛ study.#PLZ
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