#and that is what Alastair wants Cordelia to say but you didn't hear that from me

[edwinspaynes]

HI! 💖 I love your blog! Do you have any headcanons for Matthew and Alastair's friendship?

HI! Thanks so much for the ask because OF COURSE I DO. These are two of the three characters who've been spinning around and around in my head like a frozen pretzel in the microwave, how could I not have headcanons!? Here are a few!

So, first: the nature of their friendship. I think they're going to have one of those super candid/honest friendships where they tell the other the stuff that they need to hear, even when they don't necessarily want to hear it. Like, I think that the backbone of their friendship will be honesty that goes in both directions, and I don't think they're going to sugarcoat what they have to say to each other. I think they're going to play the (very important) role in each other's lives of friends that are always pushing each other to be better and challenging each other's worldviews, but in the best possible way.

But the other side of this is that they're always the first person that the other goes to in a pinch (besides Thomas and Matthew's Blurry Wife, obviously). They know they can trust each other to provide kind but honest and firm input.

Both of them have a wonderful time playing harmless pranks on each other. Sometimes they enlist others to help create and execute more elaborate ones.

One of Alastair's funniest pranks was breaking into the Fairchild house while Matthew was staying there and leaving random gifts on his bed. He moved furniture around and convinced Matthew that there was a ghost there until he finally revealed himself. Matthew made him give back the key that he was using, a key that he just had because he never returned it to Charles. No one lets either of them live that down. Yes, this is a fic I have in the works.

Matthew plans Thomas and Alastair's wedding. Full stop. I've written this in a fic before, but I think Matthew's a fucking amazing party planner and really, really brings it. Decorates a garden with flowers, hires musicians, deals with clothing, the whole 9 yards. Matthew loves it and Thomastair get to enjoy the leadup to their big day with minimal stress.

When Matthew has depressive episodes, Alastair will come to his flat in Marylebone and force him to eat and have water. He'll also clean up the flat if it seems messy and drag him outside (often swearing and struggling) so he can get fresh air. Matthew hates it in the moment, and maybe hates Alastair in the moment a bit, but it helps him get back on his feet and get both his mental and physical health up. He's grateful later.

Besides Thomas, Charles (Past), Sona, and Cordelia, Matthew is the only person that Alastair has actively allowed to see him cry. Matthew was very empathetic and kind.

They eventually have a frank conversation about PTSD, though of course they don't use the term since it didn't exist in the 1900s. Thomas likely orchestrates this conversation because he sees some similarities between the two of them. They figure out that they have similar responses in many situations and bond over it. It helps both of them feel a little less alone.

When Alastair tells Matthew a little more about what happened between him and Charles, Matthew confronts his brother. He tells Charles how disgusting the whole situation was and insists that he leave his friend alone forever. Alastair never found out that Matthew did this, but Charles did in fact never bother him again.

The entire group gets together to play games (specifically James/Cordelia/Thomas/Alastair/Matthew/Matthew's Blurry Wife). When Matthew and Alastair are on opposing teams, the competition gets ridiculously heated because they refuse to lose to each other. Eventually, the others have enough and force them to be on the same team. HUGE mistake. They work together and completely decimate everyone else. They are no longer allowed to team up.

Matthew gets Alastair 2-3 interesting musical instruments from various parts of the world while on his travels. They come with sheet music as well.

Alastair secretly reads some Oscar Wilde plays and essays. He doesn't love them, but he sees why Matthew does, and that's enough. He goes to the theatre with him (along with the James/Cordelia/Thomas/Alastair/Matthew/Matthew's Blurry Wife group). They see Lady Windermere's Fan and Alastair begrudgingly admits he had a good time.

I have a ton more, but don't want to go on all day! Thanks again for the ask. :)

[vwritesaus]

Hi!!

Firstly I loved the fic :) thank you for writing it <3

I only have 1 question - what did everyone else see?? (Was it the future too??)

hi anon!!

thank you so much!! it was a pleasure writing it and i'm really glad to hear you enjoyed it ♡

and that's a very good question! tbh i didn't really think about the specifics with what the others saw, just wrote whatever vibes i felt for them. but i reckon they all did see some type of future, but not necessarily to the same extent as alastair straight up travelling forward to 2015

the details are open to ✨ interpretation ✨

however, i can describe the vibes i got from each of them i suppose! (which i'll put under the keep reading for those who don't want spoilers)

i mean it's not really spoilers bc i don't mention exactly what they saw in the actual fic, but i'll put their parts from the story in regardless :>

(warning: long post ahead!! i got excited about this haha so thank you, anon ♡)

Grace: "Grace actively avoids his gaze, choosing to look down at her shoes instead." so for grace, i got the feeling she saw something embarrassing. was it to do with alastair, hence why she can't look at him? or something she's embarrassed about in regards to herself or one of the others? it would had to have been something really concerning or life-changing bc she's purposefully looking away from alastair and not wanting to show her expression. and since it's grace we're talking about, who's straightforward and is the poker-face queen, well... i'll leave that up to you

Ariadne: "Ariadne smiles sheepishly at him, fiddling with the hem of her dress sleeve, caught between wanting to answer his question and staying quiet." i have the impression ariadne saw something good, but is a little shy and giddy about it. i think she wants to tell alastair, but not in front of everyone (totally something they can do later on when they're alone bc ariadne/kamala + alastair friendship is EVERYTHING to me). and also, is she not saying anything bc there are certain people present? maybe, maybe not

James & Cordelia: "James and Cordelia glance at each other, only to quickly look away and with bright red streaking their cheeks and aborted smiles tugging at their lips..." okay, these two i definitely know saw something about each other. at this point in the story, i imagine they've sorted the miscommunication stuff out between them following cordelia's and matthew's return from paris, but not about where it leaves their marriage. is it still a mariage blanc or are they married for real? did what they see answer that? who knows! not me tho i certainly can hope for a real marriage between them :') but i'm certain there was something sappy involved

Matthew: "Matthew appears even more haunted than usual, eyes shadowed and focused, in a sudden great interest, on his nails." matthew... yeah, this boy saw some shit, alright. was it about his own future? perhaps. was it about his relationship with james? perhaps. was it about his relationships with charles and his parents, particularly with the poisoning? perhaps. was it about his drinking problem? perhaps. whatever it was, it's a) caused him to obtain even more demons than he currently has and b) caused him to withdraw into himself. though that could also be a result of him being in a place that makes him violently uncomfortable—he's in the heart of the faeries' realm, and the home of the very people who tricked him into almost murdering his own mother (and his unborn sibling, come to that)

Anna: "There’s muted pain, glacial in nature, in the blue of Anna’s eyes, and her smile cuts across her face like the edge of broken glass: a clear attempt to appear unaffected by any of it." OKAY ANNA. WELL. what i got from her is the most vivid impression that she saw what's gonna happen to her in the very near future, and none of it good. did it relate to ariadne? i think so. did it relate to all her lovers and her reputation and the fact that things are becoming dicey for her? absolutely. did it relate to christopher as well? is he in danger none of them are aware of? possibly. anna loves her brother, we know this. and she's very worried. she's still trying to hold her ground, though, and remain the cool, elegant, unaffected anna we all know her as. but something that she saw, whatever it was, is chipping away at that guise bit by bit and causing her a wealth of pain in the process

Jesse: "Jesse merely looks lost, his sea-green gaze helplessly darting from his sister to Alastair to James, and finally stopping on Lucie." poor jesse. he's only just come back to the world of the living and at a very dangerous time - all of which he's been at the heart of! i think a lot of what he saw and went through has yet to be understood by him, bc there's only so much he knows, right? a lot has changed since he died, and he's been pretty sheltered by tatiana (and by extension grace) in blackthorn manor - which naturally changed once he and lucie started spending time together. i don't think the people he's looking at are necessarily the ones he saw in his vision (i.e. grace, alastair, james and lucie) but perhaps those whom he feels comfortable with. grace is his sister, alastair perhaps the one who's given him the facts point blank and without much faffing about (which i think jesse would appreciate imo. i honestly believe he'd hate being treated like he's made of glass yknow?), james bc of their connection to belial (i reckon they'd have much to discuss, and also bc james is a good boy and very likeable. i believe they'd be great friends!). and as for lucie, well, that's a little obvious, innit?

Lucie: "And Lucie… She has a nail between her teeth, her cheeks flushed almost as badly as her brother’s are, and her shoulders are up to her ears." 100% something embarrassing. really embarrassing. i don't think she knows what to do with herself, for it was very, very embarrassing. and unlike james, she's holding it back a bit better. she doesn't want to think about it or have anything to do with it, but at the same time, she can't stop thinking about it. and will she be writing it all down later? you bet she will, and no doubt turn several shades of red while doing so. did it concern her relationship with jesse? or was it related to her brother and her parabatai? or matthew? or thomas and alastair? anna and ariadne? only lucie knows

Thomas: "And then there’s Thomas, whose head is down, leaving Alastair with the view of sandy brown hair and freckled ears tinged a gentle pink." thomas, thomas, thomas... darling boy. oh, you best bet he saw something to do with alastair. BUT i also get the vibe that, like his cousin, it was something that is going to occur in the very near future. i don't think he really knows what it all meant, but i'm of the opinion that he's got hope exploding in him, and if he looks up at alastair, ohhhh, that boy will be GONE. it'd be present on his face and extremely readable and he can't have that

Christopher: "The only one of them who appears unaffected by any of this is Christopher, his usual calm smile present on his lips and his fingers clasped neatly together in front of him. But Alastair can sense fear coming off him in waves, though very well hidden behind thick lenses and sparkling lavender." i reckon christopher, out of everyone, was the most similar to alastair in terms of what he saw i.e. something of great significance/talked to someone (potentially). however, i reckon he's also more concerned with what he saw/found out about his sister, hence his fear. what's got him so spooked about his sister's fate, you ask? that i leave in your capable hands and that's about it rly!! altho i will also say this: i believe that in everyone's visions, they all received/came into contact with some kind of clue in how to fight this war. none will have been as direct as alastair's trip to the future and his conversations with jessa and kit, or christopher's even, but there's something hidden in all the madness. that's for sure

[astriefer]

I will elaborate more later, but I reached 100 followers on Tumbler and I just find it? So? Amazing??? I don't get why someone would follow me but I love you all a lot!! <3

Thank you @kit-12 for dealing with my incapable mind and helping me get the courage to post it. You're the best :3

Warning: bad writing and possible fluff.

"Come here," Cordelia wheedled, spreading her arms. "Come to your sister, azizam."

Their sibling, sitting on the other side of the carpet, was too busy playing with his toy to notice. He was bubbling and giggling as he shook the Persian doll vigorously.

"This is ridiculous," commented Alastair from his place on the armchair. He laid there, twisted so one leg was over the arm of the chair and the other fell to the floor. He also, for five minutes straight, kept saying how ludicrous Cordelia's attempts were.

"You will see," she retorted, redoubling her effort for the sake of proving Alastair wrong. She reached out her arms and signaled their sibling to get closer. "Come on, Baraadar-e koochektar. Let's prove our ill-tempered brother you can do it!"

Alastair rolled his eyes, cutting his gaze back to the newspaper in his hands. "He still too young to crawl. Leave him off alone." 

"No," she insisted. She looked at her brother with a keen look, despite his eyes rested on the printed words on the newspaper. "He will. Have some faith, Alastair."

"I have faith just alright," he said. "But he'll do it when he's ready."

Cordelia didn't resist making a face. Their baby brother laughed at it, a toothless grin that reminded Cordelia of Alastair's. 

That was one thing she and Alastair would argue about frequently: Whose smile is more like the baby's smile, what weapons would he use growing up, would he like Persian literature and art like them and Maman, what food he'd like, what music he'd prefer (Alastair stated their brother loves classical music, she's certain he prefer Blues much better).

"You talk as if I make him walk on a five feet tall rope. It's just crawling." She smiled fondly at her baby brother. "Oh, little one, I hope you won't end up like Alastair." She pretended to shudder from the thought. "Great Lord, I'd do all in my force to prevent such tragedy."

"Very amusing," Alastair said dryly.

Her brother looked up at her, chubby cheeks flushed from glee and expression clear of any fuss. Cordelia smiled to him encouragingly, coaxing him up to try and reach her. He glanced at her innocently for three steady seconds before ignoring her again in favor of the toy in his hand. 

Cordelia stared blankly. Alastair mumbled under his breath, and she turned to glare at him. He pressed his lips together, clearly suppressing a grin.

"What?" she demanded.

"Maybe he just doesn't want to come to you," he suggested. She captured the smug smirk playing on his lips and narrowed her eyes at him.

"What is it you implying?" she demanded, peeved already. 

Alastair didn't seem bothered by her exasperation. He cocked his eyebrows. "Nothing, sister. Nothing at all."

She crossed her arms on her chest. "You think he is not trying because he isn't interested in coming to me, especially."

"How observant of you."

He was indifferent to her irritation, which made her even more annoyed. She huffed at Alastair's irksome demeanor. "You won't do any better on this field."

"Of course I will," her brother said in a superior voice. "You clearly don't know how to capture his eye."

"And you do?"

"Yes, most obviously, " he responded.

It was Cordelia's turn to arch her eyebrows, a challenging smile on her face. "Oh, really?  So why don't you, dear brother, try to make him crawl toward you?"

Alastair made his signature eye-rolling. "Because it's childish. And because he can very well do so on his own."

She clicked her tongue. "Are these excuses? Besides, you said a moment ago he's still too young."

"He is," Alastair clarified.

"But he's a Carstairs, we always come ahead of our time," she smiled at him. She swept imaginary dust away from her dress. It was too late, she knew; Alastair's challenge was accepted - and she was determined to prove him wrong. "If I didn't know better, I would say you don't think he'll come to you, seeing as you refuse to prove your saying of him not wanting to crawl only to me. You should have no problem then."

He squinted at her, grumbling, and she thought he might simply go to his room and ignore her for the rest of the day. However, he tossed his newspaper aside and looked her straight in the eye. "I know what you are trying to do."

"I have no doubt," she answered. "But it's working, isn't it?"

He didn't reply but glanced at their brother. Their sibling has been rolling over, rocking, and dragging himself on his belly in the course of the last months. She always was fascinated and full of joy to see their baby brother stumbling around; pushing himself to sit, reaching to whatever near to grab or investigate with dark curious eyes.

"Just give him a toy he likes. He is fond of that baby rattle with the dragons' decorations as much as this Persian doll."

"Ah," Cordelia said, faking the incredulous tone in her voice. Her glinting eyes and curving smile failed her, though. "You need to bribe him with toys! How poor of you, Alastair."

He rolled his eyes again. Cordelia chuckled. "Let's make a deal. If I lose, I will give you one of my books."

Alastair tilted his head quizzically, but his look was drab. "A book?"

"It's a very fine book," she protested. "Tessa Herondale bought it for me, a rare book in Farsi, so it's sentimental. Just to show how gravely I take it."

"I am not convinced," he revealed pensively.

Alastair hummed and looked over at her, and she scowled. She knew what he wanted to hear. "I will not say it."

"You already know my answer, then."

She restrained herself before she could stick her tongue out at him. She begrudgingly nodded. Then, "As you may. But if I win, you have to perform a song in front of all my friends."

His eyes widened and he made some sort of choking sound. "Pardon?"

"You heard me," she smiled mischievously. "It's only fair." 

Alastair considered her, still thunderstruck. "In what world is it fair? A song in exchange for a book I don't desire? I eat my hat before this would ever happen."

"So to Maman, Papa, Risa, and myself. And our sibling, of course. Be that as it may, I agreed to add the second part to your request, so I want a song."

Alastair shook his head but seemed less strained. He scowled - not unlike she did before - but deemed it fair. "Alright."

She pushed it far enough already. Yet, she gave it a last try. "Include that little say you made me add, and we are on our way."

Alastair's expression made his answer clear. Cordelia rubbed her hands together. "Your face when you lose will be enough, I suppose. The song is just a benefit."

Alastair snorted. He lifted himself to his feet and reached to them. "We will see." 

He sat cross-legged on another edge of the carpet, so both were in front of their baby brother on different corners. 

Cordelia spread his arms, twisting her fingers to gesture to the baby to come. Alastair was a bit stiff as he called their brother's name, too self-conscious to do the same thing. Their sibling seemed baffled by the additional attention drawn toward him, ruthlessly rattling his doll and staring at them.

"Look how surprised he seems by getting your attention," Cordelia pondered. Their brother rocked back a forth on the muted carpet, pushing his hand into his face as if he was wondering what he should do.

"Nonsense. He always looks like that," he dismissed. 

"I decided to ignore your remark. Azizam, come here," she cajoled, concentrating on her mission. "Would you not like to play some music with me?"

One thing both siblings agreed on was their brother's attachment to music. Once, left on the kitchen floor, he took a wooden spoon and decided to hit a pot with it, ostensibly creating music for his own ears. He later threw it, unintentionally, at Cordelia. Alastair could barely keep his face straight when it happened and reminisced it for weeks.

"Who's bribing who now, Cordelia?" quipped her brother, and was rewarded by a giggle from their brother. He twirled an eyebrow. "It seems like he got my sense of humor."

"A natural disaster, really," she teased. Alastair gave her an amused look. A small sound made her glance forward. The word 'music' apparently intrigued him because their sibling's eyes were fixed on her.

"Oh, Would you like that, baby brother? " She smiled victoriously, spreading her arms. "Come to me, and we could play together." 

"Or, I could play the piano, unlike Cordelia," suggested Alastair. He changed position so that he knelt now, pressing his hands on the knees. He leaned forward as if sharing a secret. "And you could assist with the drums."

Cordelia pouted. "That was my idea," she complained. "And I will be a much better companion to play music with." 

Alastair rolled his eyes again. "So to speak."

he opened her mouth to tell her older brother he is wasting time and is wrong about what he is trying to prove when she saw the movement in the corner of her eye. Their brother left behind his toy. He swung his legs, slipping more than once, putting one small hand after the other as he attempted to crawl.

"Alastair," she gasped, forgetting their banter. "He is doing it! He's crawling!"

She turned, elated, to share her awe with Alastair. He looked at their brother wonderingly - It was a rare, open expression on her brother's face that made her smirk wider. His lips turned upward and tinted his face with a smile. She suspected her expression is similar. 

The older Carstairs siblings observed as their brother made his way toward them on the carpet. Cordelia decided no matter whom the baby will come to, she couldn't be more joyous. "Mother should see it," Alastair mumbled.

Cordelia nodded. "It would be a nice surprise when she gets back from tea with the Lightwoods."

Alastair swept his head so swiftly a few strands fell on his eyes. "Wait," he stuttered out. "Which Lightwoods?"

Cordelia flushed and turned her attention back to her little brother. She watched as he tried to move his leg unsuccessfully. "Come to your sister, Baraadar!"

"Layla," he said, his voice informing her he won't let her away without an answer. "Is Mother with Sophie and Gideon Lightwood?"

"Maybe," she conceded. She kept her eyes on their brother "Maybe not."

"Cordelia-"

"It's our brother's first time crawling, do you really want to miss it?" 

"We'll talk about it later," he snapped, and Cordelia found it inequitable. She had nothing to do with whom their mother went out with, and it was certainly not her fault Sophie and Gideon Lightwood happened to be Alastair's partner's parents.

Now fully settled on their brother, they watched as he ungracefully wiggled himself toward them. They encouraged him to get up when he fell and smiled at him when he raised his head to their voices. Cordelia even clapped her hands.

The baby crawled, not fairly straight, but if she reached her hands out she could hold him now. So could Alastair, but she tried her luck. "I think it considered my win."

"Not quite yet, Layla."  The baby fell on his belly. He struggles to find his balance and continued to come closer, his visage as if he wondered himself what was going on.

They watched in astonishment as he kept wiggling his legs and hands, and then passed them. They both changed confused glanced and turned over, watching as a pair of hands grabbed their sibling's small figure. 

"Risa!"

Their baby brother snuggled himself contentedly in Risa's embrace, and she gave the both of them amused looks. She turned away to leave the room.

The Carstairs siblings locked eyes with one another.

"That's unjust!" She exclaimed. "Risa wasn't one of the choices."

As Risa walked away, they heard her laughter echoing from the corridor. Alastair's eyes lent on hers again. "So, what was it about Mother and the Lightwoods?"

Cordelia just grunted and shook her head.

_ _

Thank you for reading so far! I hope you liked it!!

This is still very weird to me. 100 followers??? I suppose some doesn't remember they followed me at all, but I am still quite honored 🥺

I can make the 100 followers celebration thingie🙈 although I'm not as crafty as others I don't think someone wants to know me better, I can answer asks about my opinions, headcanons, maybe a fic if it's Alastair centered, stuff like that :p Please tell me what you think and if you'd like that!!

I'll tag some people who I much regard as mutuals or friends here! I am glad I got to meet you all, no matter if we don't talk at all. If you are reading this, you are amazing 🌺

@fairchilds-and-herondales @littlx-songbxrd @upsidedown-cats @nott-the-best @rinadragomir @gummybears-4u @aceofjesper @dianasarrow @no-scones-allowed @stitchkiss @stxr-thxif @itsdaughterofthemoon @shadowhuntertrash @doitforthecarstairs @banescrown @greymistttt

[clockworkbee]

Chain of Iron spoilers!

unpopular opinions (I guess)

I've seen a lot of people say that

Lucie kept secrets from Cordelia, and it's because of her that they're growing apart which could partly be the reason they might not become parabatai at all

and I just want to ask you one thing:

did Cordelia not keep any secrets from Lucie ?

[ this might turn into a rant and I'm open to any and all discussion on the topic but if anyone starts a fight, I'm simply ignoring.]

I'm not taking any sides btw. I'm simply asking people to keep their eyes open and see everything. [read under the cut.]

While Lucie kept the secret of raising Jesse with the one girl who's been wrecking her own brother's life, (which btw she has no clue about) she didn't lose herself in it and make that the only thing she cared about. Unlike most YA female characters who think that keeping a secret is important because of whatever reason they have, it's mentioned a few times that Lucie hated it. She didn't justify keeping her secret to herself, she felt guilty about it. At one point she even told Grace that she'd have to trust her because Lucie didn't want to tell her anything before first telling Cordelia or her family & friends.

As for Cordelia, I understand she kept her love for James a secret because it would have been so hard for Lucie to know and see her future parabatai loving her brother and having a fake marriage and all but it does not justify why Cordelia didn't share the burning she felt while wielding Cortana. Okay, that's a small thing, but she didn't even care to share why and where she had gone with Matthew, she kept her oath to Wayland the Smith, a secret.

Also, in my opinion, James didn't keep any secrets throughout the book. He discussed his doubts with his friends and when he suspected himself, the first person he could think of telling it to was Cordelia. tho I admit it was very frustrating reading his miscommunication esp. after reading that he was thinking about asking her to marry him the proper way.

Moving on to Matthew, the only secret my boy ever kept was about having killed his sibling. I get that he told it to Cordelia coz he loves her and didn't want to hide esp. after hearing her say that he seemed so sad to her, that she saw through his cover, but what I don't get is that he also loves James, his parabatai. I don't get why he could never tell it to James but told Cordelia very simply, and was even ready for her to tell others. I mean if he was so okay with others knowing (and by others, I mean I'm focusing on James) then why couldn't he just tell it to James first? It just felt weird. If there's a valid reason he's stated in books that I've forgotten, please remind me.

Now, Jesse. I've seen some people theorize that he could become more of an anti-hero or villain and would use Lucie or harm her and just, two things. 1) I don't see where this is coming from coz I didn't get any vibe about him hiding anything from Lucie. If anything, I think he'll be angry at Lucie or would stand by her and face consequences together resulting in a tragic ending to their love story. 2) we haven't gotten Jesse's pov yet so I am a tiny bit doubtful about some secret but it feels highly unlikely to me that he'd side with Tatiana and become a villain when like, Tatiana herself as well as Belial are already there, not to mention the fact that Lilith has some influence over Cordelia's weapon wielding and we all know she can't just stop fighting.

Like Matthew told his secret to Cordelia when he should have first told it to James, Lucie told Anna & Ariadne about helping Grace but even after that, didn't tell Cordelia. Grace never told Jesse what Tatiana had and kept making her do when we all know having even one person know is better than no one ever knowing. Thomas kept his night patrols a secret, ofc. his sexuality as well as Alastair too, when being friends, he should have at least told someone. Anna keeps her love for Ariadne a secret (imo) because she isn't ready to be hurt/heartbroken again. Cordelia kept her secrets from Lucie (leave everything, just talk about love) and instead of sharing when she could, she came at Lucie saying Lucie should have told her because she wouldn't have judged her.

Like EVERYONE kept secrets and those who didn't couldn't communicate well so why am I only seeing ppl talk about Lucie being reckless and choosing to keep a secret and making her life and character all about Jesse, when it isn't even true? She met her friends, she wrote still, she went to Anna's, she did all her normal life stuff, resurrecting Jesse was only one more focus.

and if it's so bad, then people who love Ty (spoilers for the dark artifices) how do still love and understand him when he's the better example of someone who lost themselves in their focus to resurrect someone?

[ I'm saying this based on what I've read most people say about Lucie in Goodreads reviews, btw. ]

[brightwoods]

I just have to say that I love your writing - your updates were great even when I was dying of secondhand embarrassment for Alastair at the party :( <3

When Alastair said he didn’t drink that much was he lying? I wonder if a combination of not drinking (ever) and barely eating meant he got drunk really easily/quickly? Either way it’s a sad theme to see Alastair constantly pushing his boundaries for the people he cares about, including drinking with Ariadne/Kamala because he doesn’t want to explain to her why he won’t. (Though it would be interesting to know everyone else’s reaction to Alastair drinking who doesn’t know why it’s significant?)

Anyway - I hope you’re sleeping and eating well and thank you for your wonderful (as always) chapters!! I’m excited to hear what happens next 💕💕

Thank you!

I was dying of secondhand embarrassment while I was writing the scene too 😂

I'm going to put a read more before I get into Alastair's drinking, but there is definitely an answer

By the end of the night he definitely was lying about not having drank that much, but he also didn't start off intending to drink much and his awareness of how drunk something would make him or how drunk he was at any given moment was pretty much nonexistent

The fact that he had barely been eating all day definitely did not help his tolerance. But he also has a very warped idea of how much a person can drink and just get tipsy because he's never drank before and he's very aware of how much Elias can drink before it becomes an issue, but Elias has developed his tolerance well above the average person's, especially someone who just picked at his dinner and has no idea of his own limits...

So he ended up full blown drunk unintentionally before he left Ariadne's house and then drunk Alastair's judgment was impaired when he was like idk this seems fine though, Thomas is kind of annoying coming over to complain about me showing up though so maybe I'll drink a little more and it should be fine... And then he was having fun with Ariadne and having a much better time and he was like oh, this is fun, why did I think this was a bad idea? And he also very much thought that he was less affected by the alcohol than he really was... The self awareness is only going to come when he wakes up the next day

The starting drinking part wasn't really to try to fit in with Ariadne instead of having to tell her. He started off just not drinking without mentioning that he doesn't drink at all, but then he was already annoyed enough from all of the stuff going on with Thomas and him refusing to talk to him but also bugging him with texts and annoyed enough with Charles for sending the screenshot and then having the nerve to bother him like he would just go running back to him after he messed things up with Thomas for him and then when Thomas just would not stop messaging him as if he had any right to try to ban him from the party or throw a fit if he did and Alastair was pissed off and just kind of like fuck it, drinking one time isn't going to be the end of the world, and it's not like I'm going to drink enough to not be able to look after myself (and he's going to be very unhappy that that turned out to not be so true and he had Cordelia having to be his keeper for the night)

And the people who don't know why the drinking would be significant are just kind of like wow that's embarrassing, clearly, someone is not taking his break up well (or in Matthew's case that's embarrassing, clearly, someone can't hold his alcohol without thinking that was about the breakup when he doesn't think the relationship was real) but it's more a haha it's funny how drunk he got than anything else

[anarmorofwords]

I kinda wanna write a better version of tlh where Tatiana is still insane but there's no Belial bc that makes zero sense to me

In this version there would be:

Kamanna done correctly with actual genderqueer rep and not toxic relationships

Barbra and Oliver bc fight me she didn't die

Genie and Filomena bc I love them and all the lightwoods are queer

The gracelet doesn't even happen bc I refuse to write that

Grace is pretty much still the same but she breaks off their(hers and james') relationship bc she notices that he loves Cordelia

No bad James. He's not a shitty person to Alastair, and he doesn't treat Cordelia like a sex object

Anna puts a stop to Kellington and Matthew's relationship before it gets serious. She also tries to get him to stop drinking all the time

Alastair apologizes around seeing them again for the first time. The merry thieves are a little reluctant because of some of the things he did but they don't actively try to keep him away from events that they're at

Matthew notices how Alastair looks at Thomas and locks them in the sanctuary with Genie and Cordelia's help

Grace gets badly injured due to a mistake in necromancy and Christopher helps her treat it without letting people know

Lucie meets Jesse, and falls in love ofc, so in order to bring him back successfully she asks Malcolm to train her in using her magic

Matthew opens up to his mom about the incident. She doesn't blame him at all and instead apologizes for often putting her work before him

Matthew finds out about Charles and Alastair because he found Alastairxs break up letter to Charles

Matthew, the mother hen he is, decided to attempt to murder his older brother, only being stopped by James who had been there at the right time

Kamala ends things with Charles and tells Anna that she still loves them and hopes that she will give her another chance

Anna told her that they needed time to think, and that she is worried how Kamala's reputation will be affected if anyone besides their friends and Anna's family finds out

Kamala respects her decision and doesn't contact her until Anna's ready to talk about things

The merry thieves don't ignore Christopher and they actively listen and help him

The merry thieves also aren't terrible to Grace bc they realize she's been isolated alone with Tatiana and 1) she might not understand what's saying/doing is wrong or 2) that sometimes she's trying to push them away so her abilities don't accidentally make them do something

Good tid parents

James and Alastair being respectful to each other despite personal differences

Matthew, Alastair, Kamala, Christopher, and Grace being besties, or as I call them, the neglected squad

No fetishizing mlm/wlw

Domestic cuddles and taking care of the other one when they're sick

Jesse/Lucie/Matthew pairing bc I love them and I refuse to pick between lucie/matthew and lucie/jesse

Christopher teaching Grace the elements(at the time) on the periodic table

Tatiana dies at the end yay

It's very unpolished and I'm open to b hearing any feedback and/or suggestions that anyone may have

The idea came to me and I decided it would be best if I told someone before I forgot

hi, I'm sorry it took so long,but I wanted to properly answer this and I keep having either internet connection issues or little time

DON'T BE SHY, WRITE THIS 👀

In all seriousness tho... THIS IS ABSOLUTE PERFECTION?!? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START I AM UTTERLY IN LOVE WITH THIS IDEA, I NEED IT

Look, I've been on the verge of rewriting ChoI, and I keep saying I want someone to write a TLH that will live up to its potential, but I've never actually came up with a proper idea for it, and you?!! YOUR BRAIN DARLING THIS IS GENIUS

ok hold up I'll just react to each and every single one so

yes please?!? I mean it started off so sweet in EEV?! Also actually genderqueer Anna and not dancing around the subject like CC is doing now?! That's what they deserve, and that's what we all deserve too

yesss please. also just,,,, Barbara, the feminine, not-wanting-to-fight-which-doesnt-make-her-less-badass queen that she is, getting the page space and appreciation she deserves

that's actually brilliant?!? it would be so great, just imagine the new girl arrives for her travel year and Genie is completely awestruck. I'm so invested in Joshwood it's difficult to imagine not having them, but this is actually the only valid alternative?!

ok that's fine. I think it could still happen and be done well, but tbh for now... the gracelet doesn't seem to have done anything relevant to the plot itself? I mean yeah it messed up James's life and Jordelia, but what did it give Belial? Tatiana? nothing. It makes no sense atm.

could be! maybe she's still encouraged by Tatiana to befriend/seduce him, but without the gracelet it doesn't work out? or maybe James somehow manages to realize that she's in danger and he actually like,,,, kidnaps her? idk idk

yes. YES. just,,,,z James is a sweet compassionate literature nerd who accidentally makes a good leader and he actually cares about people, and not just judges them from his high horse; he does still have hero syndrome, but he's kind and respectful and overall a good character

ANNA INTERVENES ABOUT KELLINGTON PLZ. PEOPLE ACTUALLY NOTICE MATTHEW'S STRUGGLES. JAMES DOES, TOO, BECAUSE THERE'S NO GRACELET.

ok yes, so what about: basically TMT don't harass Alastair and accept his apology, and realize they were also being stupid and mean at times at the Academy (especially Math). Matthew doesn't want to accept Alastair's apology, because of The Sin, but his behaviour alerts the rest of TMT and they inquire what's wrong and he tells them about the sin and that's how he later tells his parents (because his friends encourage him) and as you say, she just hugs him and reassures him it's not his fault; so after that Matthew slowly begins to heal and accepts it wasn't Alastair's fault, and also since they've kind of adopted/started including Alastair in things, he can't help but notice he's actually changed and he even starts to grow fond of him

then like you said, Matthew notices Thomas likes Alastair PLEASE HE SO WOULD. I'm not sure about the Sanctuary, if it actually happens (I'll get to why later on), but him and Lucie get really invested in the matchmaking schemes, they include Genie/Kamala because these two are friends with Alastair (both? Or at this point only Kamala?) but they also share some Moments during their scheming/talking about love 👀 (yes I'm a Fairdale shipper, I think it's time to expose myself lol)

Which leads me to (sorry I'm going off order rn) YES YES YES LUCIE AND MATH PLEASE. A FELLOW SHIPPER, HELLO, NICE TO MEET YOU. But since we're actually fixing him then we can give Jesse a personality and I'm totally down for poly Math/Lucie/Jesse

Lucie seeking Malcolm's help in secret, morally gray heroine style?!? no, it's probably not legal. but also has there ever been a Shadowhunter like her? If the Law doesn't expect such situations, it can't really forbid them...

Plz Matthew ready to strangle the carrot when he learns about their relationship, YES. sure, maybe he's still not the biggest fan of Alastair, but he's seen how much the boy's been through and starts to develop an attachment to him, and besides, NO ONE DESERVES TO BE GROOMED AND TREATED LIKE THAT. He's SO MAD at Charles, and he confronts him about it - remembering Kellington as he does, and it makes him sick to think his brother would do the same thing to someone. Maybe he gets very emotional over this and later finally tells his friends about Kellington? Maybe they didn't know before, only Anna did? So when they all realize what was happening then they comfort him etc? Or maybe it's just Alastair that learns now, and the others knew before, and they share a bonding moment over that?

Injured Grace seeking Kit's help is a genius idea I didn't know I needed

Kamanna giving each other time and space and deciding they need to question their relationship and figure out if it actually makes sense would be great. Anna realising she's very privileged and Kamala doesn't have those same opportunities, and also in general realising coming out should never be pressured or forced. Just,,,, Anna being self-aware and respectful towards Kamala. Well-written Anna. Plz. Also Kamanna is actually developed and not just "in love" because,,,,, they're attracted to each other? Maybe even remaining friends while Anna makes up their mind?

yeah just TMT being more compassionate and less judgy because they're not written by Judith so her bias isn't projected onto them

It's not a want, it's a need. They adopt Alastair and Grace eventually. Like, maybe not literally - although, Grace? - but you know what I mean.

I think they all should just have various friendship dynamics and switch between them, because people need more than one friend group

no fetishizing, no watching your brother make out with his lover, yessss

yes domestic cuddles, affection, taking care of wounds, all those things. plz.

Gracetopher bonding over science yes

obviously. or maybe she's imprisoned?!

ok, now for some more notes/my ideas etc., if you don't mind:

I actually think Belial could still be featured? After all, I don't think Tatiana could do much on her own, and since she seeks help from demons, it makes sense to include a Greater Demon as well. But Belial would have to be a stronger villain, written better; I'll think more about this

if that was the case, the serial killer plot could still happen, but be done better. and it would allow for a scenario I talked about with @littlx-songbxrd to happen, where it's Alastair who's falsely accused of murder. It creates a great opportunity to explore some things, because we know Alastair is much more likely to be seriously suspected, considering all the prejudices and bad rep his family has and all that

...what do you say to well-written Jordelia? 👀 Cordelia hasn't been obsessively in love with James since childhood, she only had a crush then. And now that they meet again, she's fond of him but not in love, not straight away. They're both grown up, and different people, but as they spend more and more time together, they fall in love. What if Cordelia gets to flirt with some other boys first? What then. What if she ends up choosing James, instead of going for the only boy she's ever had feelings for and idealized since childhood. What if we even make it friends-to-lovers and have James be a little jealous at some point?! but not in a possessive awful way, just "oh damn oh no"

Now I won't know peace until this exists BUT THANK YOU

[astriefer]

Please have this messy, badly written scenario as a humble gift to you, because I wanted to do something since I reached 200 followers!

Bits of Truth

They stood in front of the Carstairs' townhouse in Cornwall Gardens. Christopher seemed mildly confused about what they were doing there as if he had not been paying attention. James shared one last glance with Thomas before he knocked on the door.

A few bits of silence flew by, in which they had held their breaths. Then footsteps tapped on the floor, and the door cracked open.

A wave of relief passed through James that not Sona nor Risa or any other maid came to open the door. Then he thought what a peculiar thought it was for him to be relieved by. Alastair looked at them, frozen in place, blinking a few times as if he didn't believe they were truly there. He rejoined his composure hastily. He didn't let them in - he stood in the front door and his eyes searched theirs for an explanation. It was like a weird staring contest. Eventually, Alastair spoke first. "Cordelia is not here. You know it fairly well."

He moved to close the door. "We haven't come for Cordelia," he said quickly, which received another incredulous glance from Alastair. "Well, we have. But not because we thought she'd show up here. We came to talk to you."

Alastair narrowed his eyes, expressionless, and considered James. Then he glanced at Christopher and Thomas, noting their desperate eyes. "About my sister?"

"We won't take long," promised James, despite he wasn't sure it's true. Alastair studied him, and James felt himself going rigid. He leveled Alastair with his indecipherable gaze.

Then Alastair had stepped back from the door and ushered them in. "My mother is in her bedroom, resting, and Risa went shopping for supper. So, you have to be quiet. Make it quick.'

~~~~

Alastair took their coats and tilted his head towered the parlor. A kettle whiselted in the kitchen. As he gestured them inside he turned the other way. A fire burned in the chimney, and a book rested peacefully on the armchair. When James examined closer he discovered it was written in Persian. Thomas mumbled something about Persian poetry.

Alastair came inside with a tray and James thought he was, for a change, being hospitable, but he ignored them and disappeared up the stairs. When he got back, empty-handed, James assumed the tea was for his mother. Alastair placed the book on the table as he sat down in front of them. Thomas and Christopher set on a love sofa and James set stoned on another armchair. He didn't waste time being the kind host, James presumed. "What it is about my sister?"

The golden-eyed boy decided the best tactic was started from what he knew. That wasn't much, but it was the most important thing, and he was certain about it, at the very least. "I love your sister."

Alastair raised his eyebrows, amused. "Yes, that's something that tends to happen between married couples, I've been told."

James shook his head. "This marriage, of Cordelia and I," just saying her name on his lips made a treacherous skip of his heartbeat, full of hurt and love. "It was a sham marriage."

Alastair pools of dark marble were fixed on James when he explained, rather awkwardly, the events that led to their marriage. And then events that led to Cordelia leaving the country. He prospected Alastair would be outraged, throw spears at them, maybe even recite some very angry poetry phrases in Persian. Instead, Alastair was very still for very long. When he did speak, the words weren't the James expected them to be. "I knew the marriage wasn't out of love," Alastair said calmly. "But I didn't expect you to tell all that rubbish."

James blinked. "It's the truth."

"Oh, I know," Alastair returned with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I doubt you would come up with such a ludicrous idea on your own, even if just to spite me. and I also know Cordelia wouldn't have slept with you unwedded, no matter how much she loved you."

All the thieves caught their breath when Alastair leaned forward, his month curving in an odd angle. "I also know being married to you was a wish she never thought would come true, and that you cared for her. You claimed her as yours and you defended her. It was good for Cordelia, and so I said nothing."

James snorted, although he hadn't found the conversation funny. Not the least. "I thought I loved Grace at that time. I felt bad when the thought of living with Cordelia was more appealing than I expected." The thought of Grace made his features harden. "And because of Grace, for years I've been blind. Manipulated. I lost my wife and Parabatai. She played with me like a doll; messed with my feelings, messed with my life. This is unforgivable."

He did not notice Christopher who tensed up and fixed his spectacles on his nose. "She did some bad things," he said, surprising them all. "But I don't think she's evil."

James furrowed his brow. "She's like a siren: beautiful and compelling, but going after her will only end in you being drowned."

"I see," Alastair said, turning back to James. "But why? Why did she do it?"

"Does it matter?" James asked. "She hurt so many people. She doesn't even deserve to apologize. It won't matter anyhow - the damage is done. After all she has done...sorry will never be enough. Nothing will."

"It matters," Alastair said. "Because you don't know her side of the tale. You don't know what she thinks. What she feels. You don't know if she had to do what she did."

He was tempted to say Grace has no feelings at all. "I believe I'm allowed to be angry."

"I do agree that what she had done to you is far above a jest or a play with hearts," there was a strange flame burning in the deep ponds of Alastair's dark eyes. "And you have no obligation to forgive her. But why not hear what she has to say? You are the one with the power. You know the truth. She can not affect you any longer."

James shook his head. "You don't know Grace," he said coldly, gravely. "She will try to use me. She will try and make me do as she wishes. I will not be a pawn in her game again. She controlled my life long enough."

Alastair glanced away, pondering over something. Thomas turned his head nervously between James and Alastair. For the first time since the beginning of their conversation, Thomas inquired, "Why do you insist James will hear her out?"

"You have no idea of her motives," Alastair retorted. "What she's done - she must know it's wrong. And she will have to live with this knowledge for the rest of her days. You are allowed to be angry, James, and rightfully so. But don't let it blind you. That you have been kept from certain kinds of evil doesn't mean everyone else had. You have no clue what led her to those decisions." Alastair looked distanced. James managed to guess he's not been talking only about Grace. "You should talk to her. You may not forgive her, but you deserve to understand, to know why to hear the plain truth. And you should let her mourn what she could have had and lost."

James wasn't sure he fully comprehended. "I wouldn't have loved her. Even without the bracelet issue - my heart belongs to Cordelia."

"What do you mean?" Christopher asked. "That not everyone had been kept from evil."

Alastair shrugged. "I met Tatiana Blackthorn only once. She's a madwoman. She doesn't seem like the kind of caring, kind mother to pet her daughter's shoulder. Besides, Grace seemed to be controlled by Tatiana, rather than working alone or alongside her."

"She took the love of my life away from me," James growled. "Nothing can atone for that."

"The love of your life is my sister," he reminded James. "I can hardly find the idea of her being heartbroken a good thing. And the one who caused this pain is not much liked, as well. But you shouldn't think that just because you would've done it otherwise, it was an option for her. You can't know what are the options in front of people. You can't know how they feel unless you talk to them. So talk to Grace, James. Then seek out my sister. If you love her like you claim you do, will you give up on her so easily?"

"No," James stood up, "I will not."

Alastair nodded. "why did you come and tell me about your little schemes? Why now?"

Now, after so much time of lying, why tell the truth? Why not keep it in its cage of delicately made lies?

James cut his gaze to the book on the table. Thomas answered instead in a quiet voice. "She is your sister. You must have been worried about her. We wanted to tell you because - because you deserve to know the truth and understand why things happened the way they did."

What Thomas did not say was what none of them wanted to admit. Cordelia ran away to Paris with Matthew. Even if she'll be back in only two weeks - they all were worried sick. James couldn't blame her, he was awful and blind. All of this was a mess. If she needed time to calm down in Paris, he couldn't deny it of her, even if he had a say in this choice.

Alastair studied Thomas, and James felt the half-Persian hadn't quite believed them. It was true - they needed his help in the future. But it was a start. "Anything else? A ghost friend? Another evil aunt?"

"No," Christopher affirmed.

"Good," Alastair said. James might have imagined it but he thought he saw Alastair sneak a glance at Thomas before standing up. "Now get out of my house. Risa will be here any minute."

~~~~

I- how?? Thank you so much, everyone!! 🙈 Thank you, you can't understand how much it means to me. 🥺

This is mind-blowing. Truly. For whatever reason you follow me, know that I love you <3

Tagging some of my mutuals, you are all wonderful and make my time here so much better (not all of them because my brain is all wonky, but I mean all of you): @kit-12 @littlx-songbxrd @pink-party-dino @shadowhuntertrash @gummybears-4u @itsdaughterofthemoon @mcrrythievcs @fictionally-fantastic @reyna-herondale I'll tag more but I don't want to bother anyone so... thank you!! I don't know what people find in my blog, but I am grateful, and I appreciate all of you endlessly.