#and that brings up SO MANY FUCKING QUESTIONS???

[cheetabites]

☆彡 age ain’t nothing but a number ˳༄꠶

characters: park gyeong seok (player 246), kang dae ho (player 388), and hwang in ho (player 001 / the frontman)

˳༄꠶ summary: headcannons i have regarding if you - their partner - were younger than them (fem intended! reader, and all legal babes 💋)

park gyeong seok (player 246)

★ he works as a portrait painter near an amusement park, he’s been approached by many younger woman. they usually directly express their interest in him by flirting but he usually brushes it off with a smile and a timid shake of his head. regarding this, i don’t think it would’ve been a problem if he’d gotten into a relationship with a younger woman; he is a the type of older man to get really shy about it though

★ despite the hierarchy in korea where juniors are supposed to automatically respect their elders, gyeong seok doesn’t really push it too much. he treats you as an equal with a bit of extra pampering - he does believe that since he’s the older one in the relationship, he should carry most of the responsibilities, whether that be household chores, bringing money home, or just caring for you and his daughter

★ he isn’t too sensitive to other’s opinions on your relationship, but there are some times where he worries about the age gap. it’s mostly out of worry for you though; i mean he’s nearing closer to finally turning forty and he has a young daughter. he just wants you to be happy. although if you talk it out with him and ease his worries, then i think thoughts like those will eventually dissipate

★ sex with him wouldn’t be any different even if you were younger, he’d still have the same kinks. although he would treat you more gently just to make sure he doesn’t “hurt” you

★ his daughter doesn’t mind the age gap either. you’re sweet, thoughtful and you make her dad happy. the only way she’d ever question the age difference would be from an external factor like whispers from other parents that she overhears or if one her classmates says something about it. if this does happen though, you and gyeong seok would obviously clear stuff up for her

kang dae ho (player 388)

★ to be honest, when he first met you he didn’t even think that you were younger than him. it was only when you clarified your age that he realized that he was older than you. he still pursued you despite it though, because you were both legal adults and he found himself captivated with you; he does tend to get with older women though, more often than he does with younger women

★ he’s another one that gets a bit shy about the fact that he’s dating a younger woman. you and his friends love to tease him about it too, just so you can hear him stutter as he tries to figure out a comeback; if one of his friends make a bad comment about your relationship though, he’ll post tf up. but make sure to drag him away, he’s not really good in physical fights

★ he’s more shy when he subs for you. something about you being younger than him yet having all this power over him makes him red in the face (and rock hard in his slacks)

★ i feel like he’d try to coddle you, but you’d hit him with the “i had you crying and begging for me last night, i can take care of myself.” he’d pout when you’d brushed off his advances, but would eventually get over it; he just loves you sm

★ with you, he honestly acts like a himbo. don’t get me wrong, he’s not unintelligent, but it’s like he’s so starstruck with your presence that it kinda short circuits his brain; it makes him all the more lovable though!

hwang in ho / 001 / the frontman

★ this man does not give one flying fuck that you’re younger than him. in fact, it boosts his ego that he was able to bag such a beautiful young baddie like you; just know you’re gonna be as spoiled as hell

★ he’s so detached from people’s opinions that he could not give less of a rats ass about their opinion on your relationship. if it does somehow tick him off though, then he’ll just put a bullet in them

★ if you’re his significant other, there isn’t much of an opportunity to return back to society. he doesn’t want to risk you interacting with other people - especially if you were a previous player; you disappeared without a trace and then suddenly returned to society? it would cause more problems than solutions. he makes sure to make it up to you in other ways though, he doesn’t want you to be unhappy

★ he tries to hide your relationship from the guards, but since you can’t leave he eventually just lets it be. there isn’t much to do at the facility / where the games are held so the guards are constantly exposed to you trailing after him wherever he goes, curious as ever - you often ask him random questions and he regularly indulges in you to keep you satiated. i can just picture you trampling around the halls doing whatever you want in the most fabulous outfit that he gifted you - obviously breaking the rules - and the guards just give eachother a look, kinda saying “damn, if we did that boss would fire - a bullet at - us.”

★ sex with him is relatively the same. but with a younger partner, i believe things like thigh riding and a daddy kink will appear sometime after you get intimate together

the end! I hope you enjoyed <3!

[babybearnation]

privacy sign on the door

⎇f1 drivers x gn!reader ; your relationship is about to be leaked (reactions) ⎇contains: alex albon, arthur leclerc, charles leclerc, dino beganovic, george russell, zhou guanyu, kimi antonelli, lance stroll, lando norris, liam lawson, logan sargeant, max verstappen, mick schumacher, ollie bearman, oscar piastri, paul aron, pierre gasly, yuki tsunoda ⎇author's note: fics for friends :D if you enjoyed this long ass fic, maybe considering supporting me over on my kofi. ⎇content warnings: suggestive (alex, liam, oscar), mentions of hate (charles, liam, pierre), arguments (kimi, yuki), mentions of logan's shitty time in f1 (logan) ⎇word count: 2.2k

alex albon:

he's angry in a way he rarely ever is. why can't people just leave you and him alone for once in their lives? when you share the many, many tweets gossiping about the pair of you, he's just so angry. he doesn't care about the publicity - it's part of the job - but you're just trying to live your life and it's not fair that people keep invading your privacy.

when you suggest exposing your relationship, gaining the upper hand on the media and giving a big fuck you to everyone trying to forcibly invade your privacy, alex is hesitant. are you sure you wanna do that? when you say yes and that you're positive in your decision, he finally agrees and you two post a cute lil cuddling pic which is received (mostly) fondly by the many.

y'all fuck straight after tho :D

arthur leclerc:

he wasn't expecting there to be so much media attention when it came to him and his relationship. sure, he's charles' brother and ferrari's development driver, but did people really care that much about him and his love life? well, clearly so, if all the rumours flying about are anything to go by.

when you ask if he wants to go public, he finds himself torn. on the one hand, he'd get to spend all his time with you without having to be sneaky. on the other hand, it'd be a lot of media attention for you. he ultimately leaves the decision in your hands, so when you say you want to, arthur posts a really cute photo of you two together before putting his phone on DND and spending all night with you.

the media storm he wakes up to the next day is surprisingly kind.

charles leclerc:

he's tired. so fucking tired. the media is so obsessed with who he's dating and who's he seeing and this and that and the status of his love life and honestly, he probably saw the gossip stuff before you did, prompting him to bring it up when you ask him what's wrong. you can't help but chuckle fondly at him and his exasperation.

your offer to go public has him stalling, eyes wide and cheeks flushing. it's adorable but you worry you've pushed him too far so you start stammering apologies that he silences with a soft kiss. he asks if you're sure that you want to go public - all too aware of the kind of hate you may receive - but when you affirm that you do, he's immediately pulling you into a kiss and posting a pic of it to his story.

everyone teases him for such a bold hard launch lol.

dino beganovic:

dino's a massive softie so he's been basically soft launching you this entire time. when the rumours start to swirl about the mysterious person in his life being you, the two of you laugh about it, making jokes about how long it had taken for people to realise the truth.

eventually, things get more serious as you shyly, sleepily ask him if he wants to go fully public. he hums and thinks it over before saying he wouldn't mind, but it's ultimately your choice. when you say yes, you want to go public, he picks the very best photo of you (just you) and shares it to his social media, a teasing comment or two referencing the rumours in his captions.

social media goes a little bit wild about it, tbh.

george russell:

media king. knows how to subtly deflect all the questions about you and him and your (potential) relationship together in a way that makes all his astute fans frustrated but unable to really get the concrete answers that they want because he just has such a way with words.

when you tease him about his responses, showing his fans thoughts on the matter, he smirks and suggests maybe going public and you laugh and agree and before long, there's a whole post on his instagram about you that makes literally everyone fawn over him because how is he so sweet!?

f1 couple goals, tbh.

zhou guanyu:

he's pretty private so when the rumours start to swirl about your relationship, he's blaming himself. he never wanted to thrust you into the spotlight without your consent, and now he feels like he's done exactly that. you, meanwhile, had already accepted this as a potential outcome of dating him.

so when you share that you're comfortable letting the world know - that you love him too much to care what anyone on social media has to say - he falls for you all over again, agreeing to post a simple, soft, faceless photo of you two together, tagging your account on the post and making everyone go crazy.

he doesn't regret it at all.

kimi antonelli:

as much as he tries to pretend he's super confident and not at all bothered by the rumours surrounding you two, he's actually very upset and annoyed by all the media attention his love life is getting. he can handle all the attention about his f1 career but his love life? nope. that's a step too far.

when you suggest maybe going public to shut most of the rumours down and let everyone have what they want, he gets angry. why would you ever sacrifice your privacy for him? which of course, makes you angry and you two end up having a very stupid argument that eventually ends in you and him agreeing to go public.

literally no one is shocked at the truth lol.

lance stroll:

he's one more awfully worded article away from paying every damn motorsports news page to shut the fuck up about the pair of you. why did they even care so much about who he was dating? he gets so upset about it that it nearly scares you, not used to such riotous fury from him.

the only thing you can think of is going public, taking the decision from their hands before they can expose you two. lance thinks it over in amidst a billion kisses before deciding its your call. hours later, you two are watching movies together and ignoring the many responses you are getting to your relationship announcement.

lance continues to stay off of social media, though.

lando norris:

lando is used to this. not a single day has gone by throughout his entire f1 career where someone hasn't questioned him and his love life and who he's dating and who his exes are. it's infuriating, sure, but in that way where its bone deep. it's just a part of him now.

you, however, are refusing to let him stew in silent anger about this and you tell him you want to go public. end the speculation and the theorising. go public and be fucking happier for it. it takes a while to convince him but eventually he agrees and instantly, he realises you were right. he feels lighter and happier now that you two are public.

and now, he can get a good luck kiss from you before every race without worrying about being caught!

liam lawson:

there's so much media attention on him right now that he knew his relationship status would become a topic of interest soon enough. so, when it does, he's almost relaxed about it. unless you're expressing great distress and concern, he's really not bothered about the rumours.

but when you express that you're not distressed and are instead much more interested in giving the fans what they want - hopefully turning some of the negative watchers away from him as well - he's gleeful. pictures and instagram stories are being posted almost instantly and sure enough, it's enough of a distraction for the haters.

you get thanked for that later on..

logan sargeant:

he just wants to delete his existence from the universe. pretend he never existed. seriously. he's so tired of the media constantly barging into his life and now they're trynna get you involved too? like, come on... he's just a dude trynna survive in the world of motorsports. you are his literal saving grace. he doesn't want that taken from him as well.

when you offer to take it public, beat out the paparazzi and the gossip blogs and finally give him control over what he does for once, he says yes, posting a picture that dalton had taken of the two of you giggling and laughing together, practically collapsed against each other.

literally everyone is just glad to see him so happy.

max verstappen:

this man is a 4x wdc. he's used to the media. he's used to the prying questions and poking and prodding paparazzi. he's used to it. is he really fucking upset that you've been dragged into this? of course. but you've comforted him multiple times that you knew what you were getting into, and you'd embraced it ages ago.

when he asks if you wanna go public - as blunt as only max can be - he's not at all shocked that you say yes. you two love each other, you want a future forever together, why wouldn't you say yes? so he shares you with the world and he doesn't look back in regret.

just your typical iconic max behaviour, tbh.

mick schumacher:

mick cannot escape the media and it sucks. of course, there's a legacy attached to his surname, but he's his own person and you don't share his surname, so why are you being dragged by the media? when you tell him that people are spreading rumours about you two being together, he gets a bit shy.

"we could tell people?" mick shyly suggests and you agree. why wouldn't you? you're serious about him, he's serious about you and it doesn't make sense to hide it. so he posts a really cute photo of you two together and the internet kinda goes crazy about it.

suddenly, he finds media is not that difficult to handle!

ollie bearman:

why him? poor baby bear just wants to curl up in a ball and sleep forever when he discovers that people are starting to suspect you and him are together. like please, just leave the sleepy bear alone :(. you can't help but tease him for how cute he is throughout his entire mini breakdown though.

but really, you wouldn't mind going public. that makes him perk up, eyes wide and sparkly. "you wouldn't?" "of course not." well that settles that. ollie's posting about you within the very same hour, his favourite photo of you and him together being the main image, with some of his self-taken photos of you being visible in the same post.

the caption? "my fave." nothing more, nothing less.

oscar piastri:

he's trying to remain calm, and outwardly, it seems like nothing is wrong. but internally, a storm is brewing. you can tell something's wrong and when you ask him, he angrily vents about people invading his, and more importantly, your privacy. he's so passionate and defensive, you can't help but find it charming.

you calm him down before suggesting going public. "we control the narrative, yeah?" he sees the wisdom in what you're saying and lets you pick out the pictures for him to post. he posts them with a simple red heart emoji for a caption (your account is tagged, of course). the entire f1 fandom seemingly explodes, but you two don't care.

after all, oscar still has some pent up emotions to deal with ;)

paul aron:

the rumours that he could be in a relationship with someone seemed to have lit a fire under everyone's asses and now everyone was scouring the internet for hints and clues as to who paul was dating. it seemed like everyone had forgotten about his alpine news. great.

you, ever the comforting presence in his life, soon shakily confessed that maybe... maybe you two should go public about it. end all the theorising and speculation and let it be a source of excitement for a week or so before diverting people back to the news of paul in f1. he agrees and before long, there's an announcement made.

paul kisses you in thanks because he's positive no words can reflect his gratitude.

pierre gasly:

he's honestly not sure how to feel. like... he's pretty used to the media attention, therefore it doesn't really bother him when people start talking about him again. but you're involved this time and he doesn't want you to get hurt or attacked because of your relationship with him.

when he finds you reading through speculative tweets one day, he decides to broach the subject. what he isn't expecting is for you to shove your phone into his face, a drafted instagram post exposing your relationship lit up on the screen. "whaddya think?" he laughs and posts it for you.

he's just a chill dude who's in love tbh.

yuki tsunoda:

another private one, yuki is very determined to ignore the rumours until they go away and leave the pair of you alone. can't he just kiss his partner in peace and quiet? why did the media always have to be involved? you end up having to feed him food and give him kisses to calm him down.

when you try and suggest going public, he reacts negatively, starting an argument between the two of you. it reaches almost catastrophic levels before he realises that, actually, going public isn't that bad of an idea. you two end up agreeing on that before a new, smaller, less serious argument forms on what picture you should post.

it takes a while, but eventually you two go public and yuki falls asleep happily in your arms.

© all rights to babybearnation 2025.

[upuntil6am]

Holy ~ Spencer Reid x Reader

Holy - not like an angel - but like something worshipped that people will never truly understand.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Summary: Literally just.. munch Spencer worshipping you

Warnings: NSFW content, minors do not interact, oral (fem receiving), brief hair pulling, inaccurate religious comparison, worship kink, glasses reid, munch reid

W/C: 0.6k

A/N: I have not written anything in two/three years, aside from academic papers. Also, I'm not religious, but this still felt a tiny bit wrong.

Inspired by the song Deity by Valeree and no higher being than you

Spencer Reid did not believe in God. He was a man of science, of course. He had seen too many horrors of the world for him to believe that there was someone out there who knew it was happening, and did nothing. Not to mention that religion wasn’t exactly a topic of his childhood. Who would even answer his questions? Not his mother, and surely not his father. This doesn’t mean he hasn’t read the Bible, of course he has. He just doesn’t see it as factual. As stated, he’s a man of science. He didn’t believe in religion.

Then he saw you.

There was something about you that made him question. When Spencer first saw you in the bullpen, he couldn’t look away. The way your hair cascaded down your shoulders. The way the light hits your eyes. The way you carried yourself with such certainty. He’d never had any want or need to get on his knees and pray, but he’d do it if you asked him. He’s quite positive he’d do anything if you asked him to in your cherry sweet voice.

Spencer has stepped foot in churches before, but never before for a Sunday mass. It was often when it related to a case, which also meant that you frequently entered beside him. The sun would cast through the stained-glass windows and light you up in a plethora of colors. Spencer knew he talked a lot. He knew that people often wished he’d just shut the hell up. When he looked at you, he was often speechless. His mind was still racing, but he would be too tongue-tied to spit out what he wanted. 

He didn’t need to. Something in your eyes told him that you knew. The kind of high you gave him was something uncomparable to the previous highs he’s known. And you were not something he could possibly build a tolerance to.

When he first kissed you he was positive he had learned what Heaven was. He could’ve died happy with his lips pressed to yours. With his tongue dancing in your mouth. He couldn’t get the taste of you off his mind, not that he’d ever want to. He knew then, his soul wouldn’t settle until he had tasted all of you. He was so greedy for a taste of you. It’s a good thing he didn’t believe in Hell, he knew his greed would’ve landed him a firm place down there. 

Between your thighs his mind was silent. There was nothing more to think about than your taste and the way you cried. Your fingers in his hair, your thighs squeezing his head, the way you gasped and fucking whimpered when you were close. This was all he needed in life. This was all he needed from life. He didn’t need a church when he could fall to his knees and pray and worship all the same.

He wouldn’t need another altar, there was a perfect one nestled between your plush thighs. That thought alone would definitely land him in Hell, but he couldn’t bring himself to give a damn with his tongue buried in your cunt. His nose rubbed against your clit, his breath fogged his glasses that he hadn’t cared to remove. Why would he? Without them he can’t look up and see your heavenly face.

“Spencer,” you cried in a breathless moan, yanking at his brown locks.

He moaned, his face still buried between your thighs, the vibration of it making you practically sob in pleasure. He moved his mouth to wrap his lips around your clit, his fingers taking his tongue’s place when you whined at the empty feeling. His tongue swirled around your clit, his fingers curled inside you. Above him you trembled, your back arched, your mouth fell open.

The way your body moved as your orgasm hit you was divine. Just as divine as your taste on his tongue. When you came and your thighs clenched around his head he felt holy. 

Spencer Reid does not believe in God. He doesn’t have to. He has you.

[treacheryinblue]

「 ON DISPLAY 」 noah sebastian ⨯ f!reader

▷ chapter two

noah is your neighbor and your new favorite view thanks to his lack of curtains. you're pretty sure he prefers it this way. but the man you've created in your imagination is nothing like reality and you soon find yourself falling prey to a past lifestyle you had been desperately on the run from. trigger warnings : language, eventual smut, violence, mention/flashbacks of abuse, alcohol and drug use, sexual harassment/assault (nongraphic). word count : 7.1k a / n : we're really setting the scene and the vibes with this one. more noah time will come in the next chapter, both in person and through the infamous window. do not fret.

masterlist

FLASHBACK - READER

“Why are you looking at her? Huh? You look at me.” 

The guttural tone of Vane’s voice that only reared its ugly head when he was angry made your skin crawl. It didn't matter that you were tucked away in his SUV because the response it coaxed from your body was nothing short of fearful. You had been on the receiving end of it many times before but not this time. No, this time it was one of his business friends, colleagues, whatever they were to be called. The man in question had been eying you from the open trunk of his own vehicle while showing the new merchandise to Vane. He obviously hadn’t been very subtle about it. This didn't stop your heart from racing nor did it prevent your palms from clamming up. You were still very much aware of what sort of hell Vane would rain down when pushed. 

“Why did you bring her along, Vane?” The man spoke through clenched teeth as if you were a threat. Between everyone currently present at this business exchange, you were the last one to worry about. You had no weapons. No phone. No way of tattling on any of these unsavory men even if you wanted to. Who would you tell anyway? The only person who had the means to protect you was your father and he was already in the know of your whereabouts. He and Vane had probably discussed it over a nice glass of bourbon earlier in the day. 

“Don't fucking question what I do. You got a problem? Just say so and we can handle it right here.” 

You heavily sighed at Vane’s overly dramatic show of dominance while leaning further back in the passenger seat. He was such a joke when he put in hours - always so over the top and a show off - and the one time you confessed this to him had landed you on the floor with a busted lip. Vodka made you mouthy and gave you a hefty set of balls apparently. That wasn't a mistake you made again. 

Vane may have been a son of a bitch but he was willing to act, typically before thinking. He didn't hesitate to reach for the gun tucked in the back of his pants, though he didn't pull it out. The shift of his arm was enough to set the man straight and return the conversation to what was important: Vane’s merchandise. 

“Pack this shit up,” he commanded after a few beats, his annoyance towards the man evident. The seller stammered over his words but Vane was quick to cut him off. “Stop your goddamn blabbering, Diego. I'm taking it but that look you stole of my girl is gonna cost you two grand off the price.” 

And there it was. The real reason why he dragged you along to these deals. Honestly, Vane wasn't very smart most of the time but he knew who he could shove around and who he needed to back down from. Diego was not the latter. Shit, you probably could've gone out there and gotten him to knock even more off the price just by flashing him a smile. You had no desire to get in the middle of Vane’s dealings, though, and he was also far too possessive to allow anyone beneath him to live if he caught them staring your way. He was a menace in a knock off suit. 

“Load it all up.” Vane further demanded while he was tossing his cigarette out and stomping his way back to the SUV you occupied. You forced a smile onto your face because you knew better than to let him see your true feelings towards all of this. Drugs. Weapons. All of it was a one way ticket to jail or possibly even the grave. Neither outcome was one you had any interest in living out. He made you an accomplice simply by having you witness the deals. Just another way to keep you under his thumb. 

As he slammed the car door, he immediately reached across the center console to roughly grab the back of your neck. Although the dig of his fingers was painful, you kept your expression neutral. His mouth was soon on yours, one hand squeezing your nape as the other firmly grasped your chin to keep you in his hold. Vane tasted like smoke and shitty beer – both of which you hated. Unfortunately, that didn't stop you from kissing him back. Not like you had any other choice. You really put on the performance of your life when you were with him. 

“I've got a good thing going here for you, baby,” he muttered against your swollen lips. “Don't fuck it up by getting that annoying self righteous look in your eyes.” 

Okay, maybe you weren't ready for your Oscar win just yet. 

PRESENT - NOAH

There was the lingering threat of cutting himself every time he fidgeted with his knife, the swift back and forth motion of opening and closing the blade making those around him nervous. That's what he enjoyed about it though – keeping people on edge. Noah couldn't even remember the last time he accidentally drew his own blood and the pain would be fleeting even if he did happen to nick himself. 

That wasn't stopping Jolly from shifting uncomfortably in his seat. It took a lot to make the boss squirm, but Noah sure was a pro at it. He attributed this to his years of practice in the field. 

“Everything is on time?” Jolly cleared his throat, his eyes shifting back and forth between the glint of the freshly sharpened blade and Noah’s relaxed face. 

“Aye, sir,” Noah mocked just as the knife clicked shut for a final time. “Truck hit the last checkpoint around midnight, so the shipment should be arriving within the hour.” 

No one knew that Jolly had recently taken over for his father. The older Karlsson made a point for the shift of power to be kept hush with only the inner circle being made aware. Everyone knew that a transitioning empire would have a moment of turmoil before everything went calm again, but they weren't currently in an area of peace where their empire in particular could handle the shakeup. If it wasn't for Jolly’s father being a little worse for wear, then they would've still had at least a decade to prepare for this. It was a good thing that Noah could remain calm amongst chaos. 

Jolly released a sound of irritation while shuffling the mouse of his computer to wake the screen. “Don't fucking call me ‘sir’,” he grumbled. His face was then illuminated in a wash of blue from the multiple feeds of their security cameras before a few additional clicks threw the images to the large television screen mounted on the wall. They both watched in a momentary silence, Jolly’s eyes shifting between each feed while Noah focused in on one specifically. 

You were balancing a tray of drinks, hips swaying in a natural motion before bending at the knees to pass a table of business men their order. Noah could tell that you were trying your best to smile but he had been watching you enough to know when it was genuine versus forced. He felt a pull to swoop down and rescue you from the hustle and bustle of the long Nocturnal nights but he had a job to do and being your knight in shining armor was not one of them. 

“Are the girls getting along better?” 

“In the Garden or in main?” 

“You know they're too preoccupied in the Garden to give a shit about petty drama.”

Noah did know this because there was rarely an issue with the dancers. The servers on the other hand…they were as catty as could be. He shrugged, his tattooed hands intertwining to tuck behind his head. “It's improving by the day.” 

“Are you sure about that?” 

Another click of the mouse and the squares of different security footage became only one – the feed that was directed at you. There was no audio but Noah didn't need sound to know that you were having a heated exchange with another waitress that he knew as Charlotte. Your jaw was clenched, grip tight on the edges of your serving tray that the bartender was currently filling with an order. Noah had to give you props for fulfilling your duties in a timely manner once the final drink was passed along with the bleach blonde still shrieking. 

Nevertheless, whatever the argument was about, it needed to end. Nocturnal was not going to become one of those clubs, not on his watch. He had helped build this place to what it was today and he would rather die than see its crumbled remains. 

Before Noah could get a word out, the scene that unfurled next played out in slow motion. You were unloading your tray when Charlotte walked by, her hip pointedly jutting into your backside to send not only your tray, but also the remaining drinks crashing down to the table. You fumbled from the impact in an attempt to right yourself but it was too late. You didn't stand a chance against the sneak attack. 

“Goddammit.” Noah groaned, Jolly exhaling one of his own in tandem. 

“Go fucking handle it! Bring them both up!” He hollered.

Noah wanted to argue that this immature nonsense was way beneath his pay grade but he wasn't going to pass up the chance of seeing you up close again. He was still trying to get the color of your eyes just right in his memory. 

READER 

Everything was soaked in a mixture of different alcohols. You, the table, the highly irritated men now hurling a combination of insults and complaints at you. You were frantically trying to clean things up by reaching for toppled over glasses and promising a drink on the house – if you could even do that – but nothing was helping with lessening their anger. 

“Fucking amateur.”

“Can't even serve a drink.”

“Shitty fucking help.”

There was a part of you that was plopped right back down to a year ago when everything you did was heavily critiqued by your ex boyfriend. He always had something to say about the way you held yourself, the foods you liked, your choice of makeup style. Nothing was ever to his standards unless he was the one to choose it. You fucking hated feeling like that helpless girl again, and by a group of strangers no less. 

“I'm so sorry, gentlemen!” you repeated again and again. “I must've slipped.”

You hadn't slipped. You had felt the way Charlotte shoved into you and if you didn't need this job then you would've been whacking her across the head with your now empty tray right this very second. The men continued to rant and you continued to ignore them for all of your sakes. 

Squatting down in the most ladylike way you could, you carried on with cleaning the area. Your hands were shaking, your nerves beginning to get the best of you. Anxiety had only recently become a problem for you and being the center of attention in this regard worsened the effects. You kept telling yourself to suck it up, that these guys weren't Vane, but your brain refused to follow through with the order. There was never a moment that you weren't expecting to look up and see his face staring back at you. 

A hand lightly touching your shoulder caused you to jump and nearly fall over to the now sticky floor. Thankfully you caught yourself at the last second. Your head whipped around, breath catching, just to see hot neighbor towering over you. Fuck. Your fight or flight had just almost kicked in. That really would've been embarrassing.  

“Boss would like a word.” He retracted his hand when he noticed the bewildered look in your eyes, a curious yet concerned gleam flashing within his own at the sight. 

“But, I - uh…I'm cleaning up –” 

“It'll be taken care of. Head for the back stairs and Shauna will show you to his office.” 

Slowly you stood back to your full height, nodding at his instructions. Your hands smoothed down over your skirt to straighten it out, followed by a slight tug at the hem as if that would help further cover the view of your legs from the angry men now narrowed in on you. 

“She looked better on her knees,” one of the men murmured to his pal at his side, both of them erupting into laughter. It was like you were up in VIP again with Marcus taunting you. Why were all men such assholes? 

You bit your tongue to prevent yourself from saying something you may regret. Choosing between your livelihood and your pride was difficult but you knew you would be no good to anyone, not even yourself, if you landed back on hard times. Taking in a deep breath, your eyes cut over to hot neighbor who now appeared to be rather…angry? The lights of Nocturnal encompassed him in red, but something told you that his skin would still be the same shade even under horrid fluorescent bulbs. 

“Now.” He demanded in a deep voice, his head nodding in the direction you were meant to go. The tone he used was frightening, this being more than enough to light the fire beneath your ass that had you quickly scampering across the club to the opposite side where the stairs sat. Just as he had said, Shauna was waiting at the base to guide you up. 

“What did you do to get King all in a tizzy?” Shauna laughed during your journey up the narrow staircase that would've been otherwise hidden had your new tour guide not been waiting. 

“I didn't do anything,” you shrugged. “Who is he, by the way? King?” 

A glance was taken back at you, the same amused expression you were used to seeing whenever you asked a question present across Shauna’s darkly painted lips. “He's the head of security…technically.”

“Technically?”

“He wears a lot of hats around here,” she sighed. “Security, second in command, amongst many other things, and now apparently a waitress wrangler.” 

The small jab made at your expense wasn't lost on you, but it was just one more thing you preferred to stay silent on. You were already stirring the pot a bit too much to have only been employed at Nocturnal for a week and you didn't need to further add to it. This must've been a new record since Shauna had mentioned in passing once that the turn over rate wasn't high. The workers loved it here, yet of course you were the only one having issues. 

Shauna’s pace slowed the further she led you down a dimly lit hallway. You had come to the conclusion that they didn't like light around here. Abruptly stopping in front of a door at the very end of the hallway, she turned to look at you, her eyes immediately sinking into yours. It appeared as if there was something she wanted to say by the way her lips faintly twitched, but she decidedly covered it with another smile. 

An arm extended off to the side to plant three firm knocks on the door, the sound of the lock electronically unlatching following seconds later. “Don't ask too many questions,” Shauna lowly added before she was sidestepping you and strutting back down the endless hallway, but only after she had twisted the doorknob and pushed the thick barrier open a couple of inches. 

X X X

You felt small standing in front of the boss. He was finely dressed in a black suit, a cross earring dangling from his ear, and his long hair secured back into a bun that sat low on his neck, while you were…well, you currently resembled a wet dog after having an entire tray of drinks find their way onto you. 

His face was emotionless as he stared at you, silently sizing you up, but you refused to be intimidated. So, you held his gaze despite the way your trembling fingers were anxiously fidgeting with each other. He must've noticed because he only chuckled and shook his head before releasing a deep breath you hadn't realized he had been holding. 

Well, fuck. Had that been some sort of test? 

“Genevieve…” he slowly spoke, sounding out each syllable to himself. 

“That's not my name. I mean, not really, that's just what I chose to go –”

A hand was lifted to motion for you to stop and his head turned in a single shake. “I know that's not your real name. Everyone here has a chosen alias. Some for fun and others for safety precautions. Doesn't matter to me what you choose to call yourself.”

There was an accent attached to his words, though it was one you couldn't quite place. 

“What does matter to me is how you choose to conduct yourself in my club. And what I saw tonight doesn't reflect too well on my business.” 

There wasn't yet a chance for you to defend yourself and tell your side of the story because the door opened and your conversation was immediately overtaken by Charlotte’s nails-on-a-chalkboard voice. You didn't miss the way the boss let a cringe briefly overtake his otherwise stoic demeanor. 

“I didn't even do anything! She was standing too far out and I accidentally ran into her! It's not my fault she likes to stick her ass out like some feral cat in heat!” 

King was right behind her, the same annoyed expression plastered across his own face. He didn't say a word as he crossed the office to take his place beside where the boss sat at his desk, leaving both you and Charlotte standing on trial before them. 

Your arms crossed over your chest to hug yourself, a chill setting in from all the different beverages soaking into your clothes. Maybe if you let Charlotte keep talking then she would dig her own grave deeper and deeper until there was no way for her to get out. She was already doing a pretty bang up job of it. At least that meant you could get out of there faster. 

Charlotte stepped up beside you with her hands on her hips, one leg extended out a bit further. As if on instinct you shifted a bit to your left, purposely placing a little more space between you and the loud blonde. When you looked up, hot neighbor was watching you, the same curious gleam in his eyes as it had been moments prior. It seemed as if he was always watching you, even when you weren't fully aware of it. You would never forget the way it felt to have his eyes raking across your skin whether it be from a security camera, in person, or from your open window. 

“What happened?” Boss asked, his fingertips lightly planting against the top of his desk. Charlotte immediately raced to recite a scenario you were sure wouldn't be the actual truth, but she was stopped within the first word by the boss holding his hand up to her. “Genevieve.” 

You looked back and forth between the two men watching you. You were expecting to feel uncomfortable beneath their gazes but the only thing bringing you discomfort in that moment was your wet bra. Maybe your naive brain wasn’t scared of them, your intuition telling you that they were not your enemy, or maybe you just hadn't yet clocked them as a source of fear. 

“I was serving my table and she purposely ran into me which caused me to drop my entire tray.” Simple. What more was there to be said on the matter? 

“What prompted the argument you two were seen having beforehand?” 

You could sense Charlotte tensing beside you, the toe of her shoe beginning to lightly tap against the floor in quick succession. She knew this was where she was going to go down for what happened because she couldn't explain it away as an “accident”. That is, if they believed you. Charlotte was a seasoned veteran at Nocturnal, whereas you had only just started. They were already more likely to take her side based on that alone. 

“She…um…she was accusing me of flirting with someone she was interested in.” Your eyes did a quick glance to King since he was the someone in question. “I wasn't, of course, because I've only had one conversation with the guy and she just…assumed.” 

Charlotte witnessed the little run in you had with hot neighbor on your first shift after he had escorted you down from VIP. She found joy in riling you up about it ever since during every one of your shifts, and typically you ignored her, but tonight you had been fed up and finally started trying to defend yourself head on. People, Charlotte specifically, thought you were weak merely because you were quiet. You wanted them to know that it was best not to underestimate you. You just knew how to pick your battles. 

“You made her drop her drinks because of a guy?” The boss was now looking at Charlotte. His tone read as calm but you could tell by the widening of his eyes and the way his hand flattened on the desk that he was growing more and more irritated by the second. “This isn't high school, Charlotte, so why are you acting like an immature child?” 

Charlotte opened her mouth to speak but King’s heavy sigh of boredom put a halt to her attempt. “We don't have time for this,” he exclaimed after taking a glance at his watch. Boss looked his way and hot neighbor raised his brows, both of them partaking in some sort of private silent conversation that you weren't privy to. 

“Your tips are paying for those lost drinks.” The boss concluded after a few beats. “As well as their replacement ones.” 

“What?! Nothing happens to her?!” Charlotte scoffed, her voice again piercing your ears and making you lean back a bit. 

“It's not up for debate! Now out! Get back to work!”  

You were quick to head for the door behind Charlotte, who was grumbling angrily to herself, despite having an eerie feeling that the blonde was going to make the rest of your shift a living hell. Maybe even all of your shifts for the foreseeable future. You had one foot out the door when a hand secured around your bicep, firmly stopping your motions forward. “Not you,” his low voice sounded in your ear, a chill immediately radiating down your spine. 

King was gentle as he pulled you back a step and used his free hand to close the door. He was so close that you could feel his breath fanning your hair and making it tickle your neck. The slightest tilt backwards and you knew his chest would connect with your back, and honestly, you were very tempted to do just that. You had been imagining the way his body would feel against yours for over a month at this point, never once thinking it would actually come to fruition, but now here you were. The only reason why you resisted was because you weren't alone in the room and you didn't need your boss witnessing you becoming a complete puddle for his right hand man. 

“Jolly just wants a few more minutes of your time.”

X X X 

King. Jolly. You felt like you were in some dark fucked up version of Candyland with those names, but instead of the Lollipop Woods and princesses, it was nothing but tattooed men and their load of secrets. Not nearly as tasty as the candy would've been. Well, at least not until you'd become knowledgeable of these secrets. 

You strolled into your apartment a little after 2am, your new boss - Jolly - allowing you to leave early since the entirety of the last bit of your visit with him had consisted of you sitting in front of his desk and shivering. King passed you a Nocturnal t-shirt at some point in an attempt to help warm you but it didn't do nearly as much as either of you were hoping. You swore you saw him briefly contemplating giving you the jacket he wore, though he did a quick glance at Jolly before ultimately deciding against it. You couldn't say you blamed him. 

The quiet of your apartment was welcoming, this finally giving you a chance to hear your own thoughts and actually process the night. Jolly merely wanted to chat with you, your new hire file laid out in front of him, since he hadn't been given the chance to formally introduce himself as he usually would when new employees began. He explained that his father had been the original owner of Nocturnal but he now did the majority of all the work that went along with the club since his dad had his hand in other things. You politely smiled and nodded, unsure as to why he was choosing to tell you this. All in all, he was nice. There was a kindness to him that wasn’t overtly obvious but you could sense it. 

Hot neighbor only spoke up a few times, instead opting to remain seated back in the dark corner with his feet propped up versus at Jolly’s side. This probably meant that you weren't deemed as a threat. He held the same knife from VIP the entire time, and you knew this because the blade would occasionally catch the light and shine on you. Each time it would and you'd glance his way, he would greet you with a barely-there sideways smirk. Fifteen minutes later, he was looking at his phone and then springing to his feet with a reminder to Jolly that they had a shipment to receive. And that was that. End of meeting. 

It was all so normal, the interaction, but you couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. What? You had no idea. 

After your entirely too long and too hot shower, you took solace in front of your open window. His was open as well, as it always was, but there were no signs of movement. This wasn't unusual since you knew he had business to tend to when you left, though you were still curious as to how late he was usually at the club. Was that where he always was when he wasn't home? That's what you were going to tell yourself was true. 

You remained awake for an hour longer, occasionally glancing at his window, but everything remained still. 

X X X 

“Come out with us! Pleaseeeee! Please please!” Mel begged via FaceTime, a dramatic pout pulling at her lips. You could see the usual crowd behind her as she walked down the street, the group headed towards their normal haunt for a few drinks before eventually finding a club. It was the same weekend routine every time. Normally you would attend but you weren't feeling it that night. It was your first day off, as well as night, in awhile, so you were going to take some much needed alone time. 

Your nose scrunched and you shook your head at the phone camera. “I'm really just not feeling up to it,” you explained in a playful whiny voice of your own. “The club has been kicking my ass and I have to be at Red’s bright and early tomorrow.”

“Ugh! Just tell me you're actually having a steamy affair with hot neighbor! Tell me you're going to his place to let him absolutely ravish you!” 

“Yeah, that's totally what's happening,” you joked. “He's getting the whips and ropes ready for me right now.” 

This was even funnier to you because you hadn't yet revealed to Mel that you worked with hot neighbor now. There was no real reason for keeping it from her. Just that it tended to slip your mind when the two of you were around each other. 

“That sounds so sexy! The fuck!” Your best friend squealed, the loud noise causing you to pull the phone back a bit. 

“Okay, you go enjoy yourself! I promise I'll come next time.” 

“Fineee! Love you!” 

The FaceTime call ended with Melinda then laughing at something someone around her said before it all went dark. You sighed softly to yourself, your gaze remaining on the blank screen for a long moment. You were tempted to say ‘fuck it’ and go out but the exhaustion was really starting to hit. You would be no fun. 

As the silence set in, that's when you found yourself wondering about King. All day you had managed to avoid looking at his window because you weren't going to let this random guy be a defining moment in your life. Plus, he was your boss. Kind of. Second in command definitely made him your boss in a way, right? But now that the sun was setting and your loneliness was creeping in, you couldn't stop yourself from glancing over. 

A big part of you was hoping he wouldn't be there. After all, it was the weekend. Okay, it was Sunday, but you knew that was still a busy day for clubs when it came to the city. Nevertheless, you couldn't get involved with him. It wasn't smart for so many reasons and you were really working on trying to be smarter these days. Why did that have to be so hard? 

Taking in a breath, your eyes danced along the other windows of different apartments before ultimately landing on his. No curtains still - go figure - but the space wasn't empty as it had been the night before. There he sat, drink in hand, his focus on the large screen television mounted on his wall. You could barely make out the images but you did know it was some sort of cartoon. Your chin propped comfortably in your hand the further you sat up until you were on your knees leaning over the back. Very similar to how you were positioned the first time you saw him. 

The only difference was that now you didn't care if you got caught watching him. 

When he didn't look your way within the first few seconds, you shifted your focus to the darkening sky. Deep pinks and oranges swirled around, fading into the blue that would soon fully overtake the sky. You couldn't see too much because of the position of the apartment building, but it would have to do for now. You could remember staring at the sky for hours on end in your previous life. It was all you could do when Vane was working and you had no choice but to tag along. You weren't allowed to have a phone to keep you entertained back then. Not even just to play Candy Crush or some nonsense like that. Look at you now, still staring at the same sky, thinking the same wonder-filled thoughts. Old habits truly did die hard. 

It was the slight motion in the corner of your eye that brought you back down to the present. King was looking at you, his hand waving to help draw your attention. When he noticed you looking he offered a friendly smile, one you returned without hesitation. The fact that he seemed much nicer outside of the club confused you, but you were going to continue to believe that he was wearing a mask at Nocturnal. You at least hoped that was the mask and this version of him wasn't. Not that you cared…since you were being smarter and all that…

King raised his hand to his head, his fingers shifting so that his thumb was at his ear and his pinky at his mouth. The universal symbol for ‘phone’. Was he asking for your number? Your brows furrowed slightly, your thoughts running rampant. This was not something you had seen coming. At least he was asking instead of simply taking it from your file, though. 

Nodding, you brushed your hair away from your shoulder to ready yourself for the task of using your hands to communicate your phone number. You slowly tossed up each number, hot neighbor looking from you to his phone every time until he had all the information he needed. Seconds later, your phone vibrated, a message from an unknown number popping up. You immediately saved it under ‘hot neighbor', naturally. 

HOT NEIGHBOR: Hello, neighbor. 

You arched an eyebrow at the simple greeting, your eyes briefly glancing back up to where he still stood across the walkway. He was looking at you, phone in hand, patiently waiting for your response. 

YOU: Caught you staring. 

HOT NEIGHBOR: I decided to take a play from your book. 

HOT NEIGHBOR: Seems like it worked. 

You couldn't fight the smile that spread across your lips. Your teeth sunk down into the lower tier while you simultaneously shifted so you were sitting down on your couch again. Your back to the window to keep the view of your face hidden. The last thing you needed was hot neighbor seeing you smile as you made the mistake of getting closer to him. 

YOU: Are you watching cartoons? 

HOT NEIGHBOR: I'm an adult, Genevieve. It's anime. 

The use of your work name made your lips twist in distaste. You were already pretending to be a different person in your day to day life. You didn't need to mix things up even more with the addition of your Nocturnal alias. Something about it just didn't sit right with you. 

YOU: You can call me by my actual name when we're not at work. 

Funny, since even that also wasn't your actual name.

HOT NEIGHBOR: I guess that means I should extend the same courtesy to you. 

YOU: Is King not your name? 

HOT NEIGHBOR: It's a nickname from when Jolly and I were younger. 

The gray typing bubbles continued to pop up and disappear, as if he was unsure of what to say. You watched them do the same dance a few times, your curiosity rising by the second. What could he possibly be typing? 

HOT NEIGHBOR: My name is Noah. 

X X X

Three hours. That's how long you spent texting with Noah the previous night and you were definitely feeling it. Two Red Bulls, a cup of black coffee, and a couple of pieces of some weird energy gum Mel had told you about wasn't even enough to keep you from yawning every few minutes. Yes, you were exhausted, but you didn't regret a minute of it. Maybe you would one day when you were forced to remember why getting close to people was a bad idea, but you were going to live in ignorant bliss until then. 

“I told you not to run yourself into the ground.” Red wagged his finger at you like a stereotypical grandfather would. “It was going to come back and bite you in the ass.” 

You laughed, shaking your head at him. You continued to go through the motions of folding his linens as he hobbled into the room with the help of his solid wooden cane. Red was a kind man, at least from what you could tell. He enjoyed reciting stories to you from his heyday and introducing you to new foods that his personal chef would whip up. You disliked a lot of them because of how picky you were but Red got a kick out of listening to your outlandish comparisons. 

“I know, I know,” you heavily sighed. “I was off from the club yesterday, but I still stayed up too late.” 

Red released a breath as he lowered himself down into his favorite sitting chair. His eyes remained on you, a knowing smile occupying his lived-in face. “You're too young to get caught up in the headache of boys. Or girls. Or whoever you're interested in. You need to live a little first.”

You both laughed as you set the neatly folded sheets aside and began working on the basket of towels. If only Red knew that you had ‘lived’ enough for multiple lifetimes. None of which you had any desire to relive. So why were you going down the same path with Noah? Of course you didn't want to believe that's what was happening because it felt so good in the beginning stages like this, but you knew better than anyone how it could abruptly turn and crash. You had the scars to prove it. 

“I'm not getting caught up. I promise. I'm just…making friends.”

“Friends,” Red snorted. “That's how I ended up with five kids, by making friends.” 

“Red!” You lightly smacked his arm with the towel in your grasp, your lighthearted laughter continuing. It felt good to be able to have a relaxing conversation like this, even if it was with an older man pushing eighty. In your opinion this only meant he was better at giving advice than anyone else in your life. 

Still grinning, he reached for the remote on the side table by his chair and turned the TV on. Before you knew it, a CSI rerun was on and Red was leaned back, lightly snoring. 

X X X 

HOT NEIGHBOR: What are you doing? 

You used one hand to retrieve your phone from your back pocket as the other placed a small pile of washcloths in the hall linen closet. Your heart began to race when you saw who the message was from, cheeks instantly reddening. Well…fuck. That wasn't a good sign for your mental well being. 

YOU: Folding an old man’s laundry at my day job. Yes, it's just as exciting as it sounds. 

HOT NEIGHBOR: Drop a pin and I'll bring you coffee. 

You had to give it to him, he surely was straight to the point. You did as he said because what harm could come from a quick coffee visit? Plus, you desperately needed more caffeine. You would take an IV of it straight into the vein if it was offered to you. 

Half an hour later you received a message from Noah saying that he was outside. You took a glance at Red’s still sleeping form as you tip toed out of the house, carefully maneuvering your way down the narrow stone path that led to a small black wrought iron gate. It was only waist high, but it was a nice little touch in front of his city mansion. Typically flowers would be lining the path as well, but the frigid air kept them at bay for now. 

Arms crossed over your chest, your eyes zeroed in on Noah who was standing on the sidewalk. He was once again wearing his usual black on black attire, black gloves, and a black coat to finish off the look. How was he so effortlessly attractive? You could assume he was heading for the club based on his outfit alone. Not only that, but he appeared perplexed. His brows were furrowed, his eyes constantly looking up and down the sidewalk like he was on the search for someone. 

“Hey,” you breathed out into the cold as you stepped closer after latching the small gate behind you. Noah extended the second coffee to you which you graciously took and immediately sipped from. You didn't even want to know how he knew your coffee order. Sure, it was simple, but how did he get it so perfect? 

“This is where you work?” He motioned to the large brick building behind you. You glanced back at the house along with him, nodding. 

“Yeah, it's pretty easy. I'm basically a glorified errand runner slash housekeeper.” 

Noah slowly nodded, though his puzzled look refused to break. You weren't at the point yet where you could call him out for it, at least not in the way you would've wanted by just being straight forward. 

“Everything okay?” You eventually asked, to which Noah relaxed his shoulders and smiled at you. 

“Sorry, yeah. I was just remembering something I needed to do at the club.” 

“Oh, okay. Well, how much do I owe you for the coffee?” 

“What? No, you don't owe me anything.” He was now peering at you as if you had two heads. “Consider it an apology for keeping you up so late.” 

“No apology needed.” You wanted to tell Noah that you actually enjoyed talking to him. He made you feel comfortable, as odd as that may have sounded since he was still practically a stranger. But you didn't. You skirted the topic completely. “Did you want to come inside? I didn't mean to leave you standing out here in the cold.” 

“I've really got to get to the club. I just wanted to see you for a minute”. 

“Well…you've seen me.” You laughed, your hip dipping a bit and your free hand motioning towards yourself. Fuck, that was so lame. Hopefully it wasn't too obvious to him that you were completely out of your comfort zone. You weren't good at this sort of thing. You couldn't even remember the last time you had tried genuinely flirting with someone. 

Noah's dark eyes focused on yours, his look intense. You felt bared beneath his gaze, vulnerable, but something about it kept you hanging on. 

“That I have.” 

NOAH

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

He tried not to seem too flustered as he said his goodbyes to you and headed down the street. The further he walked from your eyesight, the faster his steps became. Noah hated leaving you like that because he could sense your confusion but it was for the best. There was no telling who within that house was watching you with him and he didn't want to put your well being in danger anymore than he probably already had. 

As he turned the corner, he quickly pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed Jolly. It only took two rings for him to pick up because Jolly knew better than anyone that he didn't call people. He actually despised talking on the phone. He would only do it for Jolly and now maybe you too, if that's what you wanted. 

“We have a problem,” he breathed out the moment the call connected. Dark eyes continued to dart about, every nerve in his body on edge. 

“What kind of problem?” 

“Our lovely little Genevieve is working for the enemy.” 

There was a long moment of silence and then Jolly sighed. “Which enemy?” 

“The worst one.” Noah didn't need to give any further explanation. His best friend knew how hard it was for him to think about the past, let alone talk about it. After all, it wasn't everyday he was plunged back into the memories of the night his parents were killed. 

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[antinous-of-ithaca]

Roleplay Starter: Panic Attack.

Being sober was almost a challenge.. one which he couldn't really acomplish.

Despite everything he had promised not to do, it was becoming increasily hard not to relish the old habits that kept him from losing his mind. Or well, at least lose it within his thoughts, because he would eventually do it either way due to the sea of alcohol he was drowning himself in.

That thought was.. scary. Somehow. But he was not meant to feel that way. Not when he had so many eyes on him, and a great chance to lose.

Maybe he wanted the crown to be important. To have something to cling on if everything went wrong all of a sudden. It had happened before and he was certainly not willing to go through that again, not when things seemed to go.. well, for once in his fucking lifetime.

"Am I really going to get better?"

He asked himself, as a bead of sweat ran down his forehead as thoughts ran through his mind. Though, he would've liked them to enter his right ear and escape out the other, just like they did with everything else; with the advice he rejected and the words of encouragement that didn't mean anything for his stupid brain.

With each question he asked himself, it seemed like things got worse. His own body reacting without consulting his mind first, like it had become independent, somehow.

Antinous' right leg bounced up and down as a result of the new state of anxiousness he found himself in, which was the least of his concerns at the moment. It felt like he couldn't hear anything outside his mind, like the whole world had gone silent under the voices in his head, which became even louder with each second he spent being sober.

Antinous knew this sensation. He knew what it meant, what the consequences were. But, he couldn't really bring himself to ask for help, could he? Not when he was always treating people like trash. Who in their right mind would help him in any way? Definitely not any suitor, since he was just one of them, and therefore many of them saw him as a threat. Not the staff, he had been a jerk ever since he came here, and he was sure they wanted him dead as much as the nobles did.

He was just scum in the side of the road, waiting to be kicked and crashed by someone else's foot.

Tears came out of his eyes at the mere thought. He knew he wasn't any better than the people around him. They knew he wasn't. It was just his mind that was using it as a defense mechanism, which wasn't working at all. Not when sober. Not when he could hear his own thoughts at the absence of sound.

He tried to stop himself, wipe away the tears coming out of his eyes before it could get any worse. But of course that didn't work, nothing did. It felt like he had a river running down his face. He didn't really sob, though. He choked down any sounds that could come out of his damn mouth.

Oh, how many times he could've keep it shut? How many problems could he hace avoided if he thought of doing this sooner?

All the sounds in the background sounded like white noise. Which would've helped earlier, but were now making it worse.

Laugher. He could hear it coming from every damn corner in the palace and, even if he had locked himself in a different room, his head convinced him that it was the world mocking him for every single mistake he made. From being born to thinking he could ever archieve being a king.

What did that stupid crown even mean? That you had power over others? Or that you won in life, somehow? It didn't matter what stupid price he would get if he even got to be king, when all he could think about was how many people he hurt. How he had let himself be dragged by the chains of his own pride like a lowly slave. But, in a sense, he was a slave of his own desires.

Nothing of what he did had made him happy. Not drinking, not mocking others, not eating expensive food that wasn't even his. Nothing. It felt.. weird not to be able to satisfy his greed.

Antinous had seen countless men finding what they wanted. He saw them cheer, laugh and smile. He had too. But there wasn't anything else to it for him. Those people felt happy for days, while he seeked another goal.

He was losing himself. Losing his mind, his friends, his whole life! But he couldn't do much about it. It felt like he could only sit and watch as he built a meaningless wall just to have another one crumple to the ground. He couldn't do it right, he was far too gone, far too cold, far too much for anyone to understand and drag him out of this grave he had digged for himself.

Just then, Antinous felt like the walls closed around him, pressuring every inch of his body. His own clothes became uncomfortable, like they weren't made of fabric, but of ants that were crawling his body and biting onto his now scarred skin.

He tried to scream. Nothing came out of his lips.. no sound but a gasp as he felt a non-existent rope around his throat, tightening with every move he made around the supply closet he had hid himself in.

But yes, he was hiding like a fucking child. He was pathetic enough to think he could hide from himself. To think he could change that and do something for himself.

It would be better if he just could get a bottle of wine and drink himself to death. But even then, who would look for him? Hell, he wasn't sure if he would even get a proper burial.

He didn't deserve any better anyway. Not now or ever. If anything, he deserved the right to live just to continue his cycle until he died of old age or someone ended him for good.

He couldn't take being sober. Not.. now.

Antinous was willing to drink again, die while doing so. But even then, the world laughed at in his face as he tried to stand up, only to fall back to the floor. He felt like an animal who had been injured. Except there was no apparent reason for him to be unable to walk.

He tried again, his knees buckling once again in a response to his almost desperate attempts.

He was going to die here. He just knew it. Everything was spinning around him, his limps numb to any sort of pain that came from the outside, except the growing headache he was getting.

He felt sick. Like his anxiety was actually going to make him throw his guts over the floor. Every rational thought left his body, tears streaming down his face along with sweat as he gasped for air once again, only managining to hiperventilate by trying.

"Fuck. Fuck! FUCK!"

His hands went to his head, trying to distract himself, to snap out of it by pulling on his hair.

Numbness.

Oh, gods, he hated it. And even if he knew it was in vain, he continued, not even noticing he was openly sobbing. That was being too loud.. that if someone passed nearby, he would be heard.

OOC: I saw that rp starters tagged people but I was too nervous to do it. So, sorry to anyone who might be annoyed by this tagging. 😭

@sonofpolybus @the-epic-amphinomus @penelope-is-waiting @thetorturedsuitor @eurydiceofsparta @bright-side-of-the-moon-tele

[urfavlarry]

—You’re the kind of person they write rock songs about

—modern!au Viktor x fem!reader warning. swearing, not proof read, might be OOC

part two || part three || part four

A/N. sorry if this is short I promise the next chapter will be longer D:

‘You eye each other as you pass

She looks back and you look back

Not just once, not just twice’

——————————————————————————

vik.tor222 posts followers following

4 107 25

Vik

Piltover Uni || Physics & Engineering

2027 🎓

tagged: truly.y/n, powpow, ekk0stime and 4 others

liked by ekk0stime, ishaaq, j.talis and 32 others

posted 2 weeks ago

——————————————————————————

You found yourself scrolling through Viktor’s account, your finger idly swiping through his highlights and posts. Each photo and story offered a glimpse into his world—museum trips, late-night coffee breaks, and snapshots of the people he cared about, though he never really appeared in any of them. He also had a highlight containing pictures of him but most were faceless and only ever showed off his outfit of the day. The newest post however caught your eye: a picture of you and your band from the night you all first officially hung out and the Last Drop. It was more of an unexpected and last minute get together but it sure was worth spending that time with them. The memory tugged at you, bringing a flicker of joy as you remembered the warmth and laughter of that evening.

But the smile on your face quickly faded as reality set in. There was a reason you were staring at his account, hovering over his name like some indecisive idiot. Right, texting him. You sighed, locking your phone and staring blankly at the ceiling, trying to muster up the courage to type something that wouldn’t make you sound ridiculous. Why was this so hard? It wasn’t like you hadn’t talked to him before.

This was about to be the fifth time that week you’d tried to coax information out of him, and it was starting to make you feel like a desperate ex who couldn’t take a hint. But the utter curiosity had completely taken over, refusing to let you rest until you got some answers.

You groaned, running a hand through your hair. Fuck it. If Viktor wanted to keep things cryptic, fine—but you weren’t about to sit here driving yourself insane over it. Picking up your phone again, you opened your messages, quickly typing out a message before you had the chance to overthink it and chicken out.

——————————————————————————

[truly.y/n] Vikkk >:((

[truly.y/n] where do we even meet up? band is asking soo many questions and I need answers

[truly.y/n] can you PLEASE tell me where we’re going? what place could possibly need all of our equipment? did you do something?

[vik.tor222] 6pm outside the school dormitories, i’ll pay for the taxi

[truly.y/n] unless you know a taxi driver with a van then we’ll be going by Ekko’s van. we need to move Isha’s drums, the speakers and all that shit

[vik.tor222] okay then the meeting spot is the same, want me to drive?

[truly.y/n] idc, if you wanna :P

[vik.tor222] alright then, see you in 2 days :)

[truly.y/n] whatever mr. mysterious, cya

——————————————————————————

Two days passed in the blink of an eye, your bandmates just as clueless as you however Ekko was the most excited out of everyone who just stood there, waiting for you and Powder to load up the van. “Why can’t he just tell us?” Isha signed, eyeing Viktor who was patiently waiting near the drivers side of the van, occasionally tapping his cane and looking towards the slightly frightened looking band which only amused him.

“Whatever it is, we’re ready,” he said, tuning his bass with a big grin. “Mystery gigs are kind of cool, y’know?” “Cool until we walk into a disaster,” Isha signed, twirling her drumsticks in the air before stepping into the van so you could all be on your way

“Alright, let’s get going.” Ekko exclaimed enthusiastically, while you and Powder cheered— yours being more sarcastic than excited but you played along with their enthusiasm.

The drive wasn’t long, but the anticipation made every minute feel like hours. Powder kept trying to guess where you were going however you gave up a long time ago. “Okay, hear me out,” she said, leaning forward from the back seat. “It’s gotta be a secret underground gig. Like, a place that only the coolest people know about. Right?” “Or,” Ekko added, “maybe it’s some rich dude’s private party. Like, we’re about to play for some billionaires who want to vibe out to live music.” “God, I hope not,” Isha signed from her corner, pulling off one headphone.

Viktor chuckled softly, his focus still on the road. “You’re all very creative. Perhaps I should’ve hired you as consultants.”

“Don’t dodge the question!” Powder groaned, throwing a crumpled receipt at him from months ago. He ignored her antics, his smirk unwavering as the van slowly came to a stop. You blinked in disbelief, staring out the windshield at the familiar neon sign glowing softly in the early evening light. “No way,” you murmured, your heart skipping a beat.

Ekko leaned forward, squinting. “Wait... isn’t this that café? The vintage one you’ve been obsessed with?” “The one one you have been dying to play at?” Powder added, her voice rising with excitement. “The very one,” Viktor confirmed, stepping out of the van and gesturing for everyone to follow. His cane tapped rhythmically against the pavement as he led the way to the entrance.

You hesitated, your stomach twisting in equal parts of excitement and panic. “Viktor, what are we doing here?” He paused at the door, turning to look at you with a calm, knowing smile. “You said it was your dream to play here. I’d like to think the most ‘impossible’ dreams are the ones most possible, aren’t they rockstar?” Your mouth opened, but no words came out. Powder gave you a nudge from behind, practically bouncing with excitement. “Come on! Let’s go!” The group piled into the café, and the cozy, familiar ambiance hit you immediately—it was exactly as you’d imagined it when you first stepped in weeks ago.

A staff member came up to you as soon as you entered, his sharp jaw and carefully ironed dress shirt was enough to make you feel small. His intimidating aura shifted however once he began to speak; “Right on time! Do whatever you need to do and we’ll be ready when you are.” He said with a smile before giving you a quick nod and turned to leave.

Powder let out an excited squeal, grabbing your arm and shaking it. “Vik I can’t believe you booked us here!” “I merely opened the door,” Viktor said, his smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. “It’s up to you to walk through it.”

Ekko was already setting his gear down, grinning from ear to ear. “Yo, this is insane. We’re actually playing here.” Isha looked quite stunned as well, looking around with wide eyes as she shakily set up her drums. You’ve played at cafe’s before and had a few successful shows but this.. this was different. It was a famous place, one with people who’d gladly give you job offers like playing at their bar, or more of a moving job where’d they’d reach out to people and find you gigs with the snap of their fingers. This was a real opportunity.

Viktor was staring at you and the band from a booth, having a view better than anyone else as he had a proud smile on his face. He felt your excitement, the absolute joy that radiated from your body which was amusing to the normal eye however he knew what it truly meant to you. He’s properly known you for a little over two weeks but it felt like he’s known you forever. Viktor found himself silently rooting for you in a way that surprised him. He glanced at the growing crowd, noting their curiosity, some patrons leaned forward in anticipation, while others sipped their drinks casually, oblivious to the significance of what was about to unfold.

Your setlist was a mix of two original songs and covers from legends like Queen’s Seven Seas of Rhye, Deftones’ Sextape, Iron Maiden, Mötley Crüe and Metallica.

From the first chords of Seven Seas of Rhye, the café buzzed with energy. “Hell yeah!” Ekko exclaimed, sending you all a proud smirk as he strummed the chords of every single song perfectly. “Everyone feeling alright?” Powder yelled into the mic, an uproar of cheers sending bolts of energy into you. “That’s what I wanna fucking hear! Let’s keep this energy going!” When you hit the haunting melody of Sextape, the crowd seemed transfixed, and you felt Viktor’s eyes on you, his expression focused and unreadable.

You kept locking eyes with him throughout the show, a flutter of butterflies stirring in your stomach each time you caught the way his gaze softened with what almost looked like adoration. Every time you tried to force yourself to look elsewhere, embarrassed by how often your eyes found his, you failed. It was as if some invisible magnet pulled your gaze towards his, neither of you able to look away.

By the end of the set, as the final note hung in the air, your eyes found his one last time. He gave a small nod, a faint but genuine smile tugging at the corner of his lips. And for reasons you couldn’t fully explain, that single gesture felt like the loudest applause of the night.

taglist: @skullmvncher @startingtoloveyou @astarionapologist

© URFAVLARRY

DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE OR COPY ANY OF MY WRITING TO OTHER PLATFORMS

I DON’T CONSENT FOR MY WRITING TO BE USED TO TRAIN AI 🚫

[prime-adeptus]

Attuned

Sho always knows when something is wrong.

✧ PAIRING: Haizono Shohei x Reader

✦ CONTENT: Gender-neutral reader; established relationship, fluff, emotional hurt/comfort. Sho is a bit of a tsun. 0,6k words

✧ A/N: He's really growing on me. // reblogs and comments are always appreciated!!

cross-posted on AO3 | divider by cafekitsune

You weren’t responding to his texts.

Where could they be…?

Sho stared at the open conversation on his phone with pursed lips, the little delivered message ticking him off more than he’d expected. You were normally quick to reply, having never ever left him hanging, so the fact that you weren’t even looking at your phone was highly unusual. He’d never say this to you out loud, not in a million years, but he was worried about you.

“What a pain,” he grumbled offhandedly, pushing himself off of the couch.

Leo looked up from his phone with his eyebrows raised, curious. “What’s up with you?”

“Nothing to do with you.”

A mischievous grin came to Leo’s features. “Lover’s quarrel?”

“Fuck off.”

“Have fun!” he called out smugly as Sho made his way out of the Vagastrom dorm, making sure to raise the middle finger at his friend one last time before he left. He’s been with you long enough to recognise some of your patterns.

Comes with loving someone, dumbass, as he had said to you before.

His current objective was obvious: find you and figure out what was wrong. Darkwick Academy’s campus was massive, which meant the search would take more effort than usual. Not to mention how chilly it was outside. He could practically feel the tick mark appearing on his temple as he realised how low the chances of you bringing along a jacket were.

Way to worry him even more.

He started at Frostheim. It didn’t prove quite helpful. Fuji might as well have been in tears when he heard that you weren’t responding to messages. Luca was willing to help search for you, but something in his gut told him that he needed to do this alone. Why would you need a guy other than him to take care of you? It didn’t make sense.

The Pit was completely out of the question. You’d never venture in there by yourself, not with how much you disliked the atmosphere and the crowd there. Jabberwock was his next destination, but its cheeky captain said he hasn’t seen you around, so that was another thing crossed out on the list.

By the time he found you, it was nearly evening, and it was on a park bench near the academy’s main building. A complaint rested at the tip of his tongue, ready to nag you, but it died as soon as he got a clearer view of you. You were hugging your knees close to your chest and staring off into space, rocking yourself back and forth. Sho relaxed just the slightest before taking a seat next to you, unable to hold back the relieved sigh from leaving his lips.

“I’ve been looking for you all day, y’know.”

You perked up, looking at him and giving him an awkward smile. “Sorry. It’s been a long day.”

“Who was it? I’ll beat ‘em up.”

You chuckled softly. “It’s not that. I’m just… not feeling great.”

“It’s cold out. You’re gonna get sick,” he said, frowning at the sight of you wearing a simple blouse without a jacket on. Without much thought, he shrugged off his jacket and placed it over your shoulders, giving your arms a warm squeeze. You looked up at him with surprise before breaking into a genuine smile this time, eyes twinkling with joy.

“You were worried about me?” You sounded so hopeful and so… cute that it made him want to pinch your cheek in retaliation. He didn’t know why you were always so surprised that he cared about you. He was your boyfriend for a reason. “I’m sorry for the trouble, Sho. I just didn’t want to bother you.”

“How many times do I have to tell you I like it when you bother me?” he retorted, wrapping his arm around your waist. “Dummy.”

You wrapped his jacket tighter around your body, the smile not once leaving your face. “You’re a total softie, aren’t ya?”

“Shut up.” He rolled his eyes in mock annoyance but still pulled you closer. You could tease him all you want. At least you were smiling now.

[cpericardium]

This is the story of the time I interviewed at Ubisoft.

When I was a teenager, I became obsessed with the Bioshock series and got it into my head that I wanted to do game design for a living. I'd never seriously attempted it nor did I know exactly what it entailed, but how hard could it be? I gamed!! I had ideas!! I said this to my teacher during a what do you want to be when you grow up talk, and she said, "Oh! My sister works at Ubisoft Singapore. I'll get you an interview."

Emails were exchanged, and someone at the company arranged a "quick chat" with me a couple of weeks later. It was for a QA tester intern position, which I reasoned was sort of like game design. After all, in the Sims 3 it's one rung on the ladder to becoming a game developer. Also I didn't want to anger my teacher. She was quite volatile.

Round 1:

I'd never done a job interview before. I put on a nice blouse and pencil skirt and heels, nervously applied and reapplied makeup which I normally did not wear, and showed up at the office building an hour early. Then as I went up the elevator I realised they never said what room it was. I couldn't very well email to ask now. I'd look like an idiot!! Fuck!! So for an hour, I just skulked around outside various glass doors peering into offices hoping there would be some receptionist around to ask, but there was practically no one there. The email only said "let's have a quick chat at 2pm on x date".

I was about to slink home with my tail between my legs when the interviewer called at the scheduled time. It was a phone interview!!!!! He didn't say that!!!!! I found a dingy secluded stairwell. As if to taunt me, one of the first questions he asked was "have you ever been to the building?"

Me, through gritted teeth: yeah! actually I'm here right now, haha... to scope it out, you know... get a lay of the land..... it's really big... Lots of glass walls...

Him: oh that's nice.

I don't remember most of the questions, but I do know he asked me what my favourite games were. I said Undertale and Life is Strange (they had come out that year), but he'd never heard of them. Maybe I should've said Far Cry or something but what if he quizzed me on it?

Round 2:

I should not have made it to this round. I was coasting entirely on the goodwill of my teacher's sister, who was high up the chain. She interviewed me next. I think her only question was whether I would be okay working long gruelling hours with little support and no overtime.

Me, blissfully unaware of crunch culture being a massive human rights issue in the industry: bring it on!!

Her: what? 🤨

Then she ushered me into a room to take a pencil and paper test. While waiting earlier, I'd frantically googled and memorised a bunch of Ubisoft games, so I could answer the one asking me to list eight of them. I figured I could have gotten away with saying Assassin's Creed and adding a random number to the back though.

The biggest problem was on the other side of the paper: a diagram of a gaming controller asking me to label the buttons. Here's the thing. I'm a PC gamer. Always have been. At the time, my only experience with console gaming was playing Little Big Planet with my best friend when I was twelve, at her house. And I wasn't very good at it! I think I fundamentally lack the hand-eye coordination for console gaming, but that's just a guess because I can count on one hand the number of times I've ever used a controller. And I can count on one hand the number of controllers I have in that hand! It's zero! I knew the wiggly antennae were for movement and the buttons on the sides did esoteric things that people will yell at you to press during crucial moments, but that was it. I ended up labelling the buttons the shapes they were (circle button, triangle button, square button etc).

The interviewer came back into the room after about 15 minutes and said I now had an hour to play an unfinished level of Assassin's Creed, identify as many bugs as possible, and record them on a spreadsheet. And even though she set me up at a computer monitor, I still had to use a controller. Are you kidding me! This was the Victorian era Assassin's Creed. I had never played any AC games before, so I didn't know what were bugs and what were features. Was "can't jump" a bug? Was "invisible wall surrounding staircases"? What was the format and lingo you were supposed to use when recording bugs? I made no progress towards the quest at all (I did not understand it or who my character was), just wandered around and wrote down things I noticed and didn't like until time was up.

Anyway, that's the tale of how I didn't get a job I was woefully unprepared and underqualified for and in retrospect didn't want all that much. Maybe what I really wanted was to be... was Ayn Rand.

[softly-sirius]

Are the Bear Staff Jacked and Kind? (Gn)

Currently on shift: Carmen, Luca, Richie, Sweeps, Tina, Sydney, Fak, Mikey, Marcus

TW: Lifting, mentions of weight, I kept this as gender-neutral as possible and tried to stay away from describing the reader's body type or weight, but pls reach out if there's any way I can make this more inclusive or you see anything that is upsetting <3

Thank you @laurenjbb for requesting this, I hope I did it justice! Also thanks to the person who pointed out I was missing Mikey :)

Carmen:

You had to goad him into

If you straight up ask he’s saying no, but if you say he’s just not strong enough and scared to drop you he is manhandling you sooo fast.

A smug little grin on his face as he takes a moment to cope a feel of your plush thighs. 

“You were saying baby” 

You would boast about how strong he is all-day

Taking any chance to squeeze at his arms (and maybe nibble on them a little bit)

He’d be so blushy at the end of the day

Luca:

As soon as Luca sees the first TikTok, he waits for you to bring it up. You’re a sucker for these TikTok trends and he’s lost track of how many you’ve asked him to try out

So he waits

And waits

And waits

And what the hell why are you not asking him to lift you up?

He wonders if you haven’t seen it yet, but he catches you scrolling through the videos on your phone in bed, so he knows that can’t be it.

What if you think he can’t lift you? 

He’s not having that, not at all. 

He starts doing ‘casual’ push-ups in the bedroom

Lifting as many heavy things in his arms at once as possible

Not so subtly flexing his arms every time he catches you looking. 

Eventually, he just gives up and he sets it up himself, hiding his phone on the kitchen counter and asking you to come and taste test something. 

You stand in front of him, searching the counter and finding nothing there for you to taste. 

Before you can question it, his hands are on you and he’s lifting you up and up until you are sat on his shoulder, shrieking.

“LUCA!” You’d yell, before you realise exactly what he’s been doing, also realising what all of his weird behaviour has been about. 

He watches that video on a loop whenever he misses you, bc he loves hearing your giggle

Richie:

I’m so sorry, but no matter how much you beg and ask there is no chance he is lifting you like that

He is an old man and he will break his back, no matter your size it’s not happening

He won't lift Eva onto his shoulders anymore either

If you goad him about it, you will be called a brat and you will be in for it later

Lowkey turned on whenever you call him your old man

Call him your anything and he’s weak in his old man knees

If this takes place after forks he might let you try to lift him over your shoulder

If you succeed (after forks) he is so excited and gets you to do it again and again in front of everyone. 

Smugly talking about how strong his fucking s/o is

But makes you lift so much heavy shit from now on

Fak:

Fak is the one who wants to do it, might not even ask, he’ll just grab you by the waist and hoist you up

Look people might disagree but you think your man is a beefcake, he’s hauling shit around all day!

His strength is not appreciated enough

His grip is iron-tight on your thighs to keep you stable 

You’re giggling on his shoulder, stealing his hat and putting it on your head so you can get a hold of his hair

He’ll just walk around with you on his shoulder for a while, just because he can

Sweeps:

Did he just hear a thud? 

You get on his shoulder and your head hits the ceiling

Might be taking you to urgent care, but he’s still pretty proud of himself

Sydney:

You both try and lift each other grappling at each other's waists

Too bad Sydney has the worst sense of balance known to man because whether she’s lifting or being lifted you both end up on the floor. 

Wants to keep trying because she swears she’ll manage it this time

Swears she won’t lean too far backwards this time 

Swears she won’t lift you too far over her shoulder this time so you fall right off

Swears she won’t spin around and take out the lamp this time

You spend the next weekend looking for a new lamp

Mikey:

Have you seen this man?

No matter what you weigh, even if you’re Mikey carbon copy in stature this man can lift you like it is nothing

Not only will he lift you onto his shoulder like that if you ask

He’s lifting you every which way, just to show he can 

Just to get you laughing and smiling

Piggyback ride, check

Princess carry, check

Bend over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes, check

Pushed up against the wall, wrists above your head, check

Marcus:

How your sweet, loving partner got so ripped when he eats so many sugared treats you’ll never understand 

Can’t say you don’t appreciate it though

I feel like Marcus does this all the time already

Like let's be real, Marcus is probably the best boyfriend you could have

He rarely brings his work shit home and if he does it’s because he knows how much better you will make him feel about it all

So if doing some little lifting trend makes you happy, he’s all for it

I think along with Luca, Marcus is the only other one who sees these trends 

Is probably the only one willing to let you upload videos of the two 

Might ask you to do the trend together before you do, just to see your excited little grin

You swear he is your dream boy jacked a kind and remind him off it all night with sweet kisses and wandering hands

Tina 

If you ask she gives you The Look

Still Hungry? Here is our Menu:

Would you love me if I was a worm?

Would you peel my orange?

Will you watch Barbie with me?

Wiping off their kisses

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

The time my bf turned into a cat.

So, for the Meowstathon my mootie @itsargyle started I decided to write about the lil guy :D

Grumbling Star wiped at their eyes, wondering what was making that scratching noise? Grabbing their phone and checking it Star's eyes widen seeing so many miss calls from their boyfriend. Rushing out of bed Star threw on some clothes.

"Shit, shit, shit-" Cursing to themselves, Star tried getting ahold of Faust. But hearing the voicemail he made twice in a row they started over thinking.

"Oh my god hes dead and I'm the reason he died-" Rambling, Star flung the door opened and paused. Seeing a...cat?

The small creature looked at them and huffed loudly. Crossing his little arms, if Star wasnt so confused they would have cooed. But when the cat? Faust? Meowst? Started talking Star blinked.

"Oh 'm g! Thanks for picking up the PHONE!" Sassing, Faust watched as Star dropped down. Concern all of their face as they tried thinking of what to say. With a sigh Faust walked up to them and patted their leg.

"I think I pissed off a wizard? I dont know he had a tacky outfit on how could I NOT say something?" Explaining, Faust frowned hearing Star laugh. He didnt know if it was directed to him or they cracked.

Looking at the small black cat, that looked like he had a wig on. In Faust's usual outfit, looking stylish as ever. Star couldnt help but think that Faust would end up here because he insulted an outfit.

"So, is it permanent or?" Asking Star held out their hands. Watching as Faust, cat like perked up and went to them. Purring a but as he rubbed his cheeks all over their hands.

After realizing what he was doing Faust gently swatted at them. Then huffed and shrugged his little shoulders. God he was so fucking cute right now!

"I dont think so? But let me tell you paws are NOT easy to use on a phone." Complaining, Faust's eat them twitched, "That reminds me I kinda lost my phone....It was too heavy to bring!"

Nodding their head Star looked around the hall way they were in. Sighing they got up and looked at how, well smaller Faust got.

"So do you want to come inside? I can probably go find your phone? Where were you when you changed?" Questioning Star smiled softly seeing Faust walking in. He was plushie like and so adorable!

"Uh I was in the alley by my apartment. Hopefully it's still there if not I'll just buy another one." Indifferent Faust tried jumping on the couch. Then scolds when he couldn't lift himself up and turned to Star.

"Can you pick me up please?" Asking Faust also lifted his arms and made a gripping motion. As if an invisible arrow went through Star's heart they clutched it.

"Yeah- just hold on your so fucking cute I'm going to die." Giggling, Star then took out their phone and took a picture. Cooing they then threw it on the couch and picked Faust up.

"You better not keep that!" Pouting, Faust after being put down hissed. Turning away he crossed his arms and his ears went back.

Ut was hard not to giggle at how cute he was. But Star steeled themselves and began asking more questions. Since they both don't know how long this will last, also to see if maybe they could go find the wizard.

[oddsandends58exe]

hii :3 two in one combo ask 1. when do odds and draki begin dating ? 2. c can you draw dmitri strelnikov/agent strelnikov if ur taking art requests rn (you can do this one separately if u wanna)

I've already drawn Strelnikov which means it's time to answer the first question!

and to do this I'm gonna have to explain Kondraki's feelings towards Odds and I think it's gonna be very strong OOC so be warned

So Odds has been working as Kondraki's assistant for about a year now. Surprisingly great, surprisingly not complaining to anyone, not even to her only friend Lainystarskiy. Instead, she's been telling Lainy all about how cool and wonderful Benjamin is to the point where her crush on him was getting a little annoying. In fact, they were the only one Odds told that she had a crush on him. She tried to keep it a secret from the others, but it was pretty clear to everyone...

...but not to Kondraki. For a long time, he thought Odds was an example of the perfect junior staff member. She listens to him, and does everything as it should and on time, cleans, brings coffee, reports to him if someone messed up somewhere, does not get on his nerves, and he can talk to her about anything. So, after a while, he began to consider her not only a good assistant, but also a good friend.

But it wouldn't be Kondraki if he wasn't paranoid. After a while, he began to wonder if all of his assistant's friendliness and how nice she was to him was part of some sort of plan against him. Maybe they're trying to eliminate him through Odds in some way? Kondraki told a friend of his about this worry. A friend of his, however, as well as many others, were well aware that Odds was actually in love with him. In fact, a friend of his was sure that Kondraki was aware of this fact and simply ignored Odds (a friend of his finds her annoying). But as it turned out, Ben wasn't aware of it, and then a friend of his had to open his eyes to it.

This came as a real shock to Kondraki. He didn't believe it was possible. He couldn't believe that someone could just be so nice to him, show such care, and most importantly have any warm feelings for him. After that, he could have easily walked up to Odds and said, "sorry, but it's not gonna work" but something was holding him back. He would do that if he felt nothing for her. But after realizing that all her kindness, friendliness, and genuine interest towards him meant something more, he began to fall in love with her too. And he hated it. He hated it because he thought that after his failed relationships, he would never love anyone again, and he hated it because he knew that if they were in a relationship, sooner or later he would hurt her and she would be disappointed in him. Being in love with her, he, to his own surprise, cared and worried about her a lot. Ben knew that Odds was kind of fragile, and he could break her with his fuck-ups. He didn't know what to do.

One day, though, Kondraki decided that something had to be done about it. On this particular day, he asked Odds to stay in his office because they needed to talk. She knew where this was going, so she got very worried.

After a long time of "we can't date, I'm a horrible person" and "no, that's not true, I know you're not as horrible as you think you are and that actually deep inside you are a very nice person", he finally decided to start a romantic relationship with her. Not just because he's also in love with her, but because maybe she's right and he should give himself a chance and prove through this relationship that he really isn't such a bad person.

yeah

[zepskies]

Oooh I'm just gonna dive RIGHT in!!

As he impatiently watched a set of doors once more, he pondered if he was still seeing things clearly or if his kooky mind was playing tricks on him. Adjusting to civilian life wasn’t always easy.

Loll I'm loving how you're writing his internal monologue -- matches his quirky personality well. 😂

Ever wondered why there was so much street construction seemingly everywhere and yet America’s roads were still full of potholes? Russell didn’t.

Again, lmao great personality color, and so freakin' relatable!

“Are you fucking insane?” You stormed towards him, shoving his chest. Whoa, broad! Shit, what had he done? Spent more time at the gym? “No, wait, don’t say anything. I already know the answer to that one!” “I’ll second that,” Colter chimed in with a groan and dusted off his jeans.

LOLL. That's so very Colter. 😂

Full disclosure: There might have been a little bit of a plan. Just tiny, really. Not worth mentioning at all.

Riiiiight. Not at all. lol

There had never been a day in your relationship where you had denied that man a thing – till that last day at least.

Ooooh more questions, more questionssss!

“We worked together when we were both stationed in Baghdad. You know how it goes. We met, and a couple of hours later, we were doing it on the kitchen island of some safe house.” Well, alright, that was braggy. There was a lot more going on than that. Best night of his life, really. But Russell considered it classified.

LMAO. Classified, indeed. 😏 Can I hope for one of your legendary flashbacks in the future??

“Oh, not the UFOs again,” Colter sighed with a shake of his head. “It’s UAP, man. U… A… P,” Russell corrected him once again and let the last letter pop from his lips for emphasis.

Get that nomenclature right, Colter. 😂 But omg I love the brotherly teasing -- Russ just HAD to bring up Reenie multiple times, didn't he? It's feeling very much The Misadventures of Russ and Colter, and I'm so here for it. 🤣

“Well, lookey, what do we have here.” Russell’s eyes zoned in on a plate of apple pie, rubbing his palms in delight.

Of COURSE he's an apple pie fan. Love that little Deanism. 🥧

He was hairier than you remembered. That you knew for sure. If you went back even further, he was also a lot broader, too. When you’d met, he was just a kid – as were you. It was only in the last few years of your relationship that he started to gain some serious muscle and really began to fill out his uniform. And all of a sudden, the tall and broad-shouldered soldier became more threatening – and more protective.

Oooh do tell. 😏 But really, it's clear these two have a long history. (Also, not the "midlife crisis beard" 🤣)

But OMG they were married?!!! And why would she send the papers just to get his attention? Good Lord, so many questions...

A part of you thought this day would never come, so maybe Colter being here was indeed a show of good faith and Russell was finally, finally dealing with his shit.

Ahh, makes sense. It tracks that Russ would be hard to pry open, even to someone he loves and has been in such close quarters with him for such a long time. (LOL Denver Airport. 👌🏽)

“I know. But… he kinda was yours too, right?” Russell’s green eyes meeting yours confirmed your statement. “He still talks about you on his good days. God knows you couldn’t throw a football before you met him.” “Hey, that’s not true. I could throw the old pigskin around perfectly fine,” Russell defended.

Just layers and layers of history between these two. It's so sweet to think Russ had a surrogate dad that actually treated him like a normal kid, teaching him how to throw a football, etc.

Fighting the tears in your eyes, you forced a smile to your lips. “He’s good. He’s a sweet boy. Keeps asking questions about his daddy that I don’t know how to answer…” you scoffed humorlessly but decided to forgo the pettiness. It would be so easy to be mad at him, but not even on your darkest days could you do it. “He’s starting school this fall.”

Oh my GODD. They have a son together too?? What the hell happened between them? She left and took their son with her?

He knew if he continued talking about what he’d missed, he wouldn’t make it out of that chicken coop for the next several hours, sobbing uncontrollably in the hay with the hens.

My heart is truly breaking for him, and now I need to know what the hell he did to make her actually leave him, even though they have two kids. 😭😭

True to typical Wayne, this is an intricate cobweb of a story, Russell AND the reader are infinitely complex, and I'm very interested to see where you take this from here. 💜

The Exit Strategy – Part 2

Summary: Russell is ready to hang it all up and retire, open up a brewery, and enjoy the rest of his civilian life. However, there’s one important thing missing before he can take the big plunge. Luckily, he knows just the right person to help him find it.

Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader

Warnings: +18, language, minor injuries, a bit of angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, a reunion, more secrets and revelations 😉

Word Count: 6.3k

A/N: Guess, the cat's outta the bag! Couldn't reveal too much about the reader beforehand without ruining the surprise now, could I? 🤓 Cozy up in your favorite chair with eggnog. Hope you have some lovely holidays, guys ❤️

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Part 2: This Is a Russell Mission

If Russell hated one thing in this world, it was playing The Waiting Game. The thought of being helplessly stuck inside a car with his hands metaphorically tied behind his back nearly wrecked his sanity. Well, whatever was left of it, anyways.

Colter had a point. Russell knew he could be a little paranoid sometimes, but considering everything he’d seen and done in his life, who could honestly blame him? It was only natural to feel a certain level of paranoia in his particular line of work. It kept him on his toes and, therefore, alive.

But maybe it had nothing to do with the job as he had always told himself. It might have been just a family trait he had inherited. And, well, he hated that fact even more than The Waiting Game.

As he impatiently watched a set of doors once more, he pondered if he was still seeing things clearly or if his kooky mind was playing tricks on him. Adjusting to civilian life wasn’t always easy.

What normal people would see as a perfectly nice, faithful woman picking up mail from the post office, Russell saw as a dead-drop pick-up.

There was a construction crew about three hundred yards to his right that seemed to be on constant break by their lack of work ethic. They also took turns to watch the supermarket closely. Ever wondered why there was so much street construction seemingly everywhere and yet America’s roads were still full of potholes? Russell didn’t.

And then, there was the cashier who handed you a flyer of some sort, which you accepted with a polite smile and stuffed in your purse. Live drop, Russell noted as he watched you walk out of the store hand in hand with your supposed husband.

It was all so abundantly clear to him, he almost couldn’t believe no one else could see it. It certainly worried him that Colter couldn’t.

What if…

What if he was in fact seeing things? Things that weren’t actually there. Ghosts of his past. No drops, live or dead. No secret surveillance in disguises. No fake husband – just a very real one.

Was that even legal? He figured it was under your new identity.

Russell shook the uncomfortable thought out of his mind and concentrated back on you. You stopped short by a row of shopping carts, exchanged a few words with your “husband”, and headed back inside. His little brother, of course, was hot on your tail, following you back in too.

That was when several alarm bells went off in Russell’s body. His head felt like the Liberty Bell on the Fourth of July. Experience told him: If it smelled like an ambush, it usually was.

Jumping into gear, Russell’s gaze snapped to your husband, who not only unloaded the groceries into the trunk of the car but also loaded a pistol and hid it underneath his sweater vest before heading toward the supermarket again.

Russell sprung into action rather quickly then, snatching his own semi-automatic from the glove compartment. Soon enough, he heard two familiar voices flowing out from a back alley behind the main building. There was no doubt in his mind that it was you and Colter.

As he rounded the corner, he had to stifle a laugh once he saw his little brother down on the ground, straddled by your legs. Russell had found himself in similar positions with you, but they had been mostly out of pleasure.

“If it helps, my name is Colter. Colter Sh–”

“Shaw.”

Russell watched as your hold on his brother swayed and shock claimed your expression.

“Hiya, sweetheart,” he greeted your eyes with a cheeky smile as warmth spread through his heart.

Fuck, he had missed you.

“Russell?!”

Your jaw had fully dislodged itself as you slowly got back onto your feet and let go of your prisoner. But the shock of seeing your ex here of all places didn’t last long till it made way for your anger.

“Are you fucking insane?” You stormed towards him, shoving his chest. Whoa, broad! Shit, what had he done? Spent more time at the gym? “No, wait, don’t say anything. I already know the answer to that one!”

“I’ll second that,” Colter chimed in with a groan and dusted off his jeans. He stretched his sore muscles briefly before glaring at his older brother, who only offered him an apologetic smile and a half-assed shrug of one shoulder.

“Did you tell him to follow me?” you asked and pointed an accusatory finger at his younger brother while still glaring daggers at Russell. The similarity between them suddenly struck you, and you cursed yourself for not putting the puzzle pieces together sooner. “What was the plan here, huh?”

“Oh, trust me, he had no plan,” Colter muttered sourly, still recovering from your attack.

Russell clicked his tongue and sighed, scratching the back of his neck. “Look, he’s right. There wasn’t a plan. I just-… I had to see you. But once I did, well… here we are.”

Full disclosure: There might have been a little bit of a plan. Just tiny, really. Not worth mentioning at all.

You scoffed and shook your head. “You, of all people, should know better. You could’ve blown our cover. Months of work down the drain…”

“I think your cover’s still good,” Russell assured you with that same old lazy grin of his that was scarily charming and glanced at your partner. “Might wanna call off the cavalry, though.”

You shared a look with Tom, your partner during this mission.

“I’ll signal them. Clean up here,” he said, unamused, and disappeared back to the parking lot.

“Road crew in front of the store?” was all Russell asked. You confirmed it with a simple nod. Internally, he celebrated his little win. His instincts were still intact.

You exhaled a deep breath and threw your hands up. You had been so incredibly relaxed before that menace of a man waltzed back into your life – with a goddamn wrecking ball, no less. Now, the tension was crawling back into your shoulders.

“Russ, what the hell?”

Your question wasn’t filled with anger, however. You were just exhausted by today’s surprising turn of events. The life of a spy…

And probably the life with Russell, too.

“I know. I know, okay?” Russell held up two placating hands. Large hands. Warm. “Can we just talk? Somewhere… I don’t know.”

With some reservations, you still nodded. “There’s a church picnic at First Presbyterian tomorrow. It starts at one. We can talk there.”

There had never been a day in your relationship where you had denied that man a thing – till that last day at least.

“Church picnic?” Russell cocked a brow but was only met with your glare.

“Don’t mock. Be there,” you told him firmly and walked back inside the building. You still had to buy that damn milk. Covers were complicated to maintain – much like relationships.

Once you were out of sight, Russell let out a long sigh of relief, followed by a laugh of happiness. Step One was done. Only when the high of his meeting with you subsided, did he notice his brother’s exasperation.

Colter threw his hands in the air and stared at his sibling with incredulous eyes. “What the hell, Russell? What was that, man?”

“Right, yeah.” Russell bobbed his head calmly, smacking his lips. He knew he owed Colter an explanation at this stage of the mission.

“So, I’m guessing she’s not an old Army buddy of yours,” the younger Shaw started.

“No, not quite. She’s in the CIA,” Russell explained at last. He couldn’t help the grin. He was sure Colter would laugh about it eventually, too. Well, here was to hoping he would. “We worked together when we were both stationed in Baghdad. You know how it goes. We met, and a couple of hours later, we were doing it on the kitchen island of some safe house.”

Well, alright, that was braggy. There was a lot more going on than that. Best night of his life, really. But Russell considered it classified.

“Romantic,” Colter scoffed with sarcasm lacing his voice. Honestly, a part of him was happy for Russell. Another part, though, was incredibly furious for obvious reasons. “But I’m sorry – you had me stalk a CIA operative? During, what I assume is, some elaborate undercover mission?”

“It’s actually not that elaborate,” Russell quipped with amusement. “You shoulda seen half the things I’ve seen her do, so…”

“Oh, hilarious!” Colter shook his head at his childish brother. “Are you nuts?!”

“I think we’ve already established that,” Russell chuckled.

“You know, if Reenie finds out about this, she’s gonna kill me,” Colter said, and Russell swore his brother seemed close to breaking into a sweat. “Oh, you think this is still funny, huh? Guess who she’s gonna kill right after? You.”

Russell rolled his eyes at the unnecessary theatrics. “She’s not gonna find out unless you tell her, brother.”

With pursed lips, Colter nodded in defeat. “Can’t say I like you a lot right now, Russell.”

His older brother only snorted a laugh in response. “Oh, c’mon!”

“You probably would find it less funny if you had been beaten up by a 5’4” woman,” Colter continued and pressed a hand to his ribcage, wincing. “Yeah, pretty sure she cracked a rib or two…”

“Don’t be a baby. Soldier up! You’re fine.” Russell patted his back roughly and inspected the swelling nose for good measure, causing Colter to groan in pain once more. “And by the way, pretty sure she’s only 5’3”.”

“What?! No! She’s at least… 5’4”, okay? Probably even 5’5”,” Colter argued, following Russell back to the truck.

Russell’s lips rose to a teasing smirk. “Yeah, you keep telling yourself whatever gets you to sleep at night, little brother.”

“I will, thank you,” Colter deadpanned and unlocked the car. “So, you’re gonna go to this church picnic thing tomorrow?”

“Oh, no, not just me. We are going to this church picnic thing tomorrow,” Russell said with a cheeky grin and slid into the passenger seat.

“Well, you know, technically, I’ve already… found her. This is usually where my job ends,” Colter said with a tight smile and popped the key into the ignition.

“Yeah, well, not this time,” Russell replied, chuckling. “This ain’t a Colter mission. This is a Russell mission.”

“Oh, I got that, yeah. Thank you,” Colter said with a laugh that made his bruised ribs ache. “You know, you could’ve at least told me she was in the CIA.”

“Yeah, probably. But this was more fun,” Russell grinned.

“Did you know this whole time this was a clandestine operation?”

Russell sheepishly twitched his shoulders. “Well, not when we first got to town, but once I saw her in that outfit, I had a pretty strong inkling. I’m tellin’ ya, even if she had changed her entire life and personality, there’s no way she would have accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and savior. I mean, maybe if she suffered a traumatic brain injury…” Russell mused and then grinned. “Or if she got abducted by aliens!”

“Oh, not the UFOs again,” Colter sighed with a shake of his head.

“It’s UAP, man. U… A… P,” Russell corrected him once again and let the last letter pop from his lips for emphasis.

“Uh-huh… Did you even need me for this?” Colter leaned back against his seat and quirked an eyebrow.

“Hell yeah!” Russell assured eagerly before changing course. He dialed his enthusiasm back a little. “Well, honestly, I just needed your op analyst. I could’ve used one of my guys, but then that would’ve flagged it with someone upstairs, so… But c’mon! This was fun, right?”

“I don’t know, Russell. I usually prefer my fun to look a little different,” Colter deadpanned.

“With Reenie?” Russell wagged his eyebrows. The huge smirk on his face spoke volumes.

“Would you stop?!”

“‘Sides, this is nice, isn’t it? Us… hanging out?” Russell’s sly grin then morphed into a much softer and genuine smile.

“I guess, yeah,” Colter reluctantly agreed and shrugged his shoulders. But the tiny smile on his face wasn’t missed by Russell.

“Alright, let’s get some fuel,” Russell announced and playfully slapped his brother’s chest. “I’m starving. We also need to find a place where we can park that Airstream of yours. Maybe get a nice fire going, drink a few…”

“What is this? A sleepover? Did you just invite yourself?” Colter really wasn’t used to family members dropping in like this, but he couldn’t deny that it felt sort of nice, too.

“Yeah, I am. I mean, you didn’t offer. Would’ve been the polite thing, you know, considering I saved your ass last time,” Russell retorted puckishly.

Colter exhaled a humorous breath, shaking his head with a chuckle. “Alright, okay… Consider yourself invited.”

“See? Wasn’t so hard now, was it?”

Russell’s nerves leaped through the roof as he set foot onto the church grounds. A part of him expected his boot soles to leave burn marks in their wake on the perfectly green and trimmed lawn, considering his extensive list of sins.

Families, children, couples, and the elderly had all gathered in front of the church. There were picnic tables, blankets, even balloons and a banner. His green eyes, however, landed on the giant buffet, his mouth already beginning to water.

That’s also where he spotted you, handing out cupcakes and slices of pie with a pious smile on your face. Your hair was stuck behind your ears, a headband keeping it tightly in place. Your dress looked the same, only the flower pattern varied, with a tight cardigan around your shoulders that hid any naked skin.

Deceptively innocent, Russell thought, causing his mouth to water for a different reason.

“You okay? You nervous?” Colter checked with a curiously raised brow.

“Nervous? Me? No.” Russell gave a quick shake of his head, but his eyes were transfixed on you. “Gotta admit. That outfit’s doing something to me, though.”

Colter patted his shoulder blade. “Yeah, might wanna keep it in your pants, Russ. Pretty sure you get kicked out for impure thoughts.”

Russell snorted a laugh. “Yeah, probably.”

The Shaw brothers then made their way over to your stand. Russell’s heart thumped louder with every new step he took towards you. And once he was so close he could smell your irresistible perfume, his smile only widened.

You, on the other hand, played your role flawlessly and pretended you didn’t know either brother in front of you. Your brows knit in question, but your devout smile remained the same.

“Gentlemen, how can I help you? I don’t think I’ve seen you here before,” you said and subtly gestured your head to the pastor next to you.

Russell’s brow raised in understanding. He cleared his throat. “Oh, me and my brother just moved here. Looking for a new church. Heard this is the place,” he stated loud enough for the pastor to hear. “You know, we are very devout Christians. I mean, especially my brother here. If he doesn’t pray at least ten times a day, he gets real cranky.”

Colter threw him a look but decided to play along. “Oh, yeah, I just-… I hate that. Can’t pray enough, right?”

“Amen,” you said with all the sincerity you could muster. On the inside, however, you were bursting with laughter. Leave it to Russell to make you smile brighter than the sun.

“Well, you’ve certainly come to the right place,” the pastor chimed in with a cheerful smile that spelled kumbaya all the way through as he shook the brothers’ hands. “I’m Pastor Jeff. Welcome to our little congregation, folks.”

“God can never have enough sheep, am I right?” Russell quipped and wondered how long you’d already been undercover, playing your dutiful role as a Christian housewife. Five sentences in, and he already was at his limit.

“That’s right!” The pastor grinned broadly. “Please help yourselves to our delicious buffet.”

“Well, lookey, what do we have here.” Russell’s eyes zoned in on a plate of apple pie, rubbing his palms in delight.

“Oh, you have to try the pie,” the pastor eagerly suggested and put an arm around your shoulders. “Our Nora here is an excellent baker. Her desserts are a real trend in our community. It is downright sinful. But shhhh, don’t tell the big man upstairs.”

“Secret’s safe with me, pastor,” Russell grinned slyly before meeting your eyes for the briefest second. “Say, do you do marriage counseling too?”

The glare you shot him had enough power to kill him from afar. You might as well have ordered a missile strike on him.

“Oh, my, yes, of course!” the pastor eagerly replied, causing your frown to deepen. “Are you married? Having a little trouble with the missus?”

“You could say that,” Russell earnestly played along and propped up his hands on his hips. “Everything was going fine, you know? And then one morning, just whoosh, gone. No explanation, no letter, no anonymous call from a pay phone…”

“Wow…” The pastor was stunned and enthralled by Russell’s colorful storytelling at the same time. You weren’t, however.

“Well, I’m so sorry to hear that,” you feigned your sympathies with tight lips and a fierce glare at your former lover. “But you know what they say, the Lord giveth and he taketh away…”

“You know, Nora here is right. Our Lord does work in mysterious ways,” the pastor chimed in agreement.

“Amen, Pastor Jeff,” you said, smiling contentiously. “Do you have any idea why your wife left?”

“Oh, I’m afraid she’s as mysterious as the Lord,” Russell replied.

Crossing your arms over your chest, you forced a tight smile. “I don’t mean to overstep, but it sounds like someone was having a little trouble with commitment.”

“It does,” Pastor Jeff agreed. “Why do you think that is?”

Clearing his throat uncomfortably, Russell’s head bobbed, his tongue poking the insides of his cheeks. He was definitely feeling a spotlight on him. Even Colter seemed to curiously lean in. Then, the oldest Shaw clicked his tongue. “Rough childhood.”

Amused, Colter scoffed under his breath behind him. “You could say that.”

“Oh no.” The pastor sent the brothers a pitying look and turned his attention to the younger Shaw. “And what do you do?”

“Oh, uh… Well, before I moved in with my brother here, I lived in a trailer and traveled all over the country.”

“Sounds… lonely,” Pastor Jeff stated worriedly.

“Yeah, this one is a big lone wolf. He has commitment issues too,” Russell replied, earning him a scolding look from his brother.

“Uh, I don’t think we need to overshare, Russ.” Colter gave an awkward smile, turning to you and Pastor Jeff. “He’s kidding. I don’t have commitment issues.”

“It’s a sin to lie, Colter,” Russ noted. His tone was serious, but the twinkle in his green eyes was impish.

“What happened to your face there?” The pastor cocked his head and inspected the younger Shaw’s injuries.

Oof, he looked rough. The skin under his eyes and bridge of his nose were swollen and bruised, ranging in color from blue, purple to black. A thin burgundy line also graced his throat. You had done quite a number on him.

You should kick Russell’s ass for setting you both up like this. Who would do this to their little brother?

“Uh, you know, moving boxes…” Colter stammered with a shift of his weight from one foot to the other, pursing his lips.

Russell was a better liar than him, you noted.

“Yup, walked straight into one of those wood planks,” Russell added, oozing just the right amount of charm and humor to wrap the pastor around his finger. “Tiny thing, honestly, but still got him good.”

Oh, he was so proud of that too, you could tell. He smirked right at you. Well, they were both terrible liars.

“Not that tiny. Big, big plank,” Colter corrected. Apparently, you had bruised his ego, too. “Lucky to be alive, really.”

Yeah, he really was.

“Well, speaking of taking things away, I still have to get the eggs from the chickens,” you said, segueing the conversation to an exit strategy. “Excuse me.”

“Oh, you have chickens here?” Russell enthusiastically slapped Colter’s arm. “Did you hear that? They have chickens.”

“Yeah, uh, very exciting,” Colter said, subtly clearing his throat.

“We’ve always wanted chickens,” Russell clarified for the pastor, joining you by your side as you rounded the table. It wasn’t true, though. The brothers actually had a chicken coop at the cabin when they were kids and hated it. The hens were noisy, the rooster was the worst, and it was always a mess to clean up. “I love those clucking little buggers. And now that we have a big backyard… Mind if I come along and check out your setup?”

“Not at all,” you replied with a friendly smile.

“Great. Be right back,” Russell told his brother, hurrying after you before he eloquently made a U-turn back to the stand and grabbed a plate of pie.

“Take your time,” Colter said through a pressed smile, although he wondered how long he’d be stuck here for with the pastor and your fake husband.

“Clear,” you said and held the creaking wooden door of the coop open for Russell to follow inside. As soon as it fell shut behind you two, you crossed your arms. “Okay, talk.”

“What? Here? Now?” With squinted eyes and a cocked brow, Russell looked around the small and dark space full of farm fowl, hay, and feathers.

You threw your arms up in exasperation. “You said you wanted to talk, so talk. What’s wrong with this place?”

“Nothing,” Russell said timidly and swallowed. He scratched the back of his neck. “You know, I just imagined this conversation a thousand times in my head, and it never happened in a chicken coop on church grounds.”

“Adorable,” you commented unamused, your brow knitting even more.

“All I’m sayin’ is, this just takes some time gettin’ used to…”

“Get used to it faster.”

Russell sighed. Then you did.

You softened your stance, crossed arms falling freely to your sides. “I’ve missed you,” you said earnestly and gifted him a small smile, taking in his changed appearance for the first time in detail.

He was hairier than you remembered. That you knew for sure. If you went back even further, he was also a lot broader, too. When you’d met, he was just a kid – as were you. It was only in the last few years of your relationship that he started to gain some serious muscle and really began to fill out his uniform. And all of a sudden, the tall and broad-shouldered soldier became more threatening – and more protective.

Now, clean-shaven, young, somewhat naive, and rule-following was replaced by a rebellious, midlife-crisis beard and the matching hair.

Ah, the t-shirt… Mötley Crüe. He found that thing eleven years ago at a thrift store in Arizona. It had a (bullet) hole on the left side of his lower back that you had patched – thrice. Once even with teething floss in a tent.

“How have you been?”

Russell’s head bobbed. He shrugged. “So-so.” Then he smiled. Soft and warm. The first few rays of sunshine on frozen winter skin. “I’ve missed you, too.” Then, the smile disappeared from his lips, replaced by contempt. “Got your divorce papers. Not signing them, by the way.”

“Good.” You smiled weakly. “I didn’t want you to sign them. I just sent them to get your attention.”

The relief that surged through Russell’s body was ineffable. For months, he thought he’d lost you – that you’d finally given up on him for good.

“How’s the new job working out?”

Russell’s lips drew a smirk, flirtatious charm glimmering in his forest green eyes. “What, you keeping tabs on me, sweetheart?”

You matched his expression. “Who do you think recommended you, huh?”

Russell stumped for a beat. His lips pursed, eyebrows drawing into a wondering v. “Well, they said someone did. Just didn’t think it was you.”

All this time, he’d believed you had crossed him out of your mind with a red pen as soon as you’d walked out the door that very morning.

“I told you. I’ll always look out for you,” you replied simply, a caring smile dancing on your lips. “So? Did it help? Are you any closer?”

“Yeah, guess so…” He paused for a moment, his gaze focused on the tips of his boots as he thought. “Not sure it was worth it, though. Actually, I’m fucking sure it wasn’t.”

You exhaled a long breath. You knew this day would come eventually. You knew he’d come back for you. Granted, you had expected him on your goddamn doorstep years ago, but he never showed. Sending divorce papers was a last resort in hopes he’d wake up then. That had been nine months ago.

“Why are you here, Russ?”

“Things have changed.”

Ah. That made things perfectly clear.

Lifting a brow, you crossed your arms again. “Is that why you brought your little brother along? As a show of good faith?”

“Kinda.”

“Poor Colter… How’s his nose?”

Russell wiped your sincere concerns away with a shrug. “He’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it. Just a scratch.”

Just a scratch…

“It’s weird… seeing you two together,” you said. For more than fifteen years, you had wondered. A part of you thought this day would never come, so maybe Colter being here was indeed a show of good faith and Russell was finally, finally dealing with his shit.

That man could easily fill the Denver airport with his baggage.

“You look good,” you noted. You were trained to control your heartbeat, but he had always made your job harder. “Different.”

His fingers brushed his beard as if to emphasize the newness. “Yeah? You like it?”

“Well, uhm, I don’t hate it,” you said rather coyly. Did you want to give him a win? No. But if he stepped any closer, you would falter. Your cheeks blushed as the tip of your shoe drew circles in the sandy ground. Why did your ears suddenly feel so hot?

Russell smiled as heat crept to his cheeks as well. “Your new look is somethin’, too.”

“God, shut up.” You rolled your eyes at him but couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face.

“Oh, I don’t think you’re allowed to take the Lord’s name in vain here,” Russell teased. “Don’t let good Pastor Jeff hear ya.”

You laughed, scoffing. “I hate that man.”

“Pastor Jeff? I can tell,” Russell chuckled in amusement and finally stuffed his face with the first bite of pie, chewing a mouthful as he spoke. “But c’mon, he ain’t half bad.”

“Really? You don’t wanna shoot yourself after spending five minutes with him? ‘Cause I do. And it’s been months for me,” you said. “You don’t know what that man does in his office.”

“You bugged his office?”

“And the confession booth. Two words: game changer,” you said, wide-eyed. Russell whistled lowly. You narrowed your eyes at the half-eaten plate in his hands and the pie crumbs in his beard. You raised a scolding brow. “Did you really have to bring the pie?”

“Do you even know me at all? Of course I did.” Russell then shoved the last bite into his mouth to prove his petulant point. “Did you actually bake this?”

In expectant offense, you stepped back a little, crossing your arms again. “Why?”

“‘Cause it’s good.”

“Do you even know me at all? What d’you think?”

“Thought so.” Russell gave a shrug of his shoulders. “The first bite of this didn’t give me immediate food poisoning.”

“Fuck you. I’m a great cook,” you huffed but couldn’t help the grin on your face. You had missed this – the bickering, the bantering, the fun. And Russell, the sly asshole, knew that, judging by his own smirk.

“There’s a lot of reasons why I love you, but your cooking skills ain’t one of ‘em, sweetheart,” he quipped.

“I’ll use you as shooting practice, Shaw,” you threatened playfully. Russell laughed, but it sounded more secretive than a laugh about a joke. “What?”

Russell’s eyes found yours. “Nothing. This is nice, right? We slid right back into it. Like the last three years never happened.”

“Russ…” You sighed, your heart hurting. For you, they happened.

“Just saying it was easy. That’s all,” he said with placating hands. “How’s the family? How’s your dad?”

That caused you to suck in a breath. You had wondered when he would finally dare to ask. You knew this was the real reason why he was here. “Dave finally married Jill last spring. It was a nice wedding. Florence, Italy. Got to wear a sun hat.”

“That’s good.” Russell smiled softly, although it stung that he wasn’t invited. He had always imagined he would be, once your brother popped the question to his longtime girlfriend. After all, Russell was the one who introduced the couple in the first place.

“They wanted to do it sooner, but because of the pandemic…”

“They shoulda done it ten years ago. I kept telling him to lock it down,” Russell quipped, the irony not entirely lost on him. He knew even if something was locked down, didn’t necessarily mean it would stay forever.

“You did,” you remembered with a fond smile. “They wanted you there,” you added, noticing his saddened expression. “It’s just-…”

“No, I know. Don’t worry about it,” Russell brushed it off with all the coolness he could muster at that moment.

“Russ…”

“I said it’s fine,” he repeated and forced another smile. “So, how’s the old man?”

Silently, you bit your lip and sent him a look that spoke volumes.

“Uh-oh. That bad, huh?”

“It’s the reason why I moved back here. To be closer… As close as I can be with this job. Figured it was best for everyone,” you explained. “In the beginning, he had a lot of good days, you know? Now they just all seem… bad.”

“Yeah… I’m sorry,” Russell replied, dumping his empty plate by the chickens. He stepped closer.

Uh-oh. Now, you were in trouble.

“I’m sorry, too.”

Russell’s brow jumped up. “What are you sorry for? It’s your dad.”

“I know. But… he kinda was yours too, right?” Russell’s green eyes meeting yours confirmed your statement. “He still talks about you on his good days. God knows you couldn’t throw a football before you met him.”

“Hey, that’s not true. I could throw the old pigskin around perfectly fine,” Russell defended.

You snorted. “You could not,” you argued with a teasing smile. “You knew how to kill sweet little forest critters and turn your pee into drinking water. But you did not know how to throw a damn ball.”

“You’re never letting the pee thing go, are you?”

You shrugged. “It was a very memorable trip.”

Russell laughed at that. Then the melancholic sadness returned to his face. “How’s-, uhm, how’s Lewis?”

He’d made it through the list of your relatives, finishing with the most important one. And it stung so unbearably much it broke your heart for him. But in the end, you knew he’d done it to himself.

Fighting the tears in your eyes, you forced a smile to your lips. “He’s good. He’s a sweet boy. Keeps asking questions about his daddy that I don’t know how to answer…” you scoffed humorlessly but decided to forgo the pettiness. It would be so easy to be mad at him, but not even on your darkest days could you do it. “He’s starting school this fall.”

“School, huh?” Russell huffed a devastating chuckle, the tears brimming in his eyes as the lump in his throat only grew. “Shit…”

It was getting to him, you could see, and he hadn’t expected that it would. Knowing Russell, he probably figured he could push through the pain and be fine. But he had never really been fine since the day you met him – and he wasn’t this time either as he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to blink the tears away, and turned his back to you with a hand clasped over his mouth.

“Should I stop?”

It felt like you were torturing him with a cruel new method of some PsyOp. Even if you had cursed this man for the past three years, your heart refused to see him hurt.

But Russell shook his head, finding your eyes again. He offered you a weak smile. “No, uh, don’t. Just tell me something about him, okay? I’m fine. Please.”

Sighing, you nodded in acceptance. “When my dad was better, he and Dave would take him fishing a lot. He loved it. He’s in his ‘backyard adventures’ phase,” you said, giggling softly. “He’s catching frogs and releasing them in the house. Never imagined I’d wake up with an amphibian on my head. It’s been a delightful experience.”

Russell laughed, but it was feeble at best. “I can imagine…”

And I can’t imagine I missed it all, he thought self-punishingly. But the hard part still hadn’t come yet.

“And, uhm…” Russell wrung for words, taking a deep breath. “How’s the baby? Is it–”

“She,” you stated, watching him swallow upon your correction. “Her name’s Amelia. She turned two in April.”

“Huh, girl…” His heart beat faster, grew bigger, and painfully yearned. His feet trembled to get home, wherever that was, and see them, but he knew he couldn’t. It wasn’t so easy, after all. “Guess I was right…” he said with a sad smile.

You had been sure you’d have another boy. However, Russell had bet you ten meatball subs – your craving at the time – that it wasn’t.

“What happened to Ann? Thought that’s the name we picked,” Russell teased in hopes of lightening the mood.

“Yeah, well, if you wanted a say, maybe you should’ve been there…” you retorted.

Russell should’ve known winning you over wouldn’t be as simple as spelling the ABC.

“You’re the one who left,” Russell muttered finger-pointing-ly under his breath.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know why,” you bit glaringly.

Russell swallowed lightly, nodding. “You’re right. I do. I’m sorry.” Pausing, his eyes glanced around the coop before he gestured with a hand at your outfit, looking you up and down. “So, speaking of the kids, what’s going on here? Thought you were done with the deep-covers,” he changed the subject with a clear of his throat.

He knew if he continued talking about what he’d missed, he wouldn’t make it out of that chicken coop for the next several hours, sobbing uncontrollably in the hay with the hens.

“I was. Had a desk job. Kinda…” A desk job in the CIA still never really was a desk job. “I was station chief in Paris.”

“Paris, huh? Fancy,” Russell said, but the joke didn’t reach the crinkles around his eyes.

“It’s the job I took after I left. We only moved back to the States in the beginning of the year,” you explained. “The kids loved it there, though. Lewis still gets a craving for crêpes every once in a while.”

Russell chuckled, even though every story added another bruise to his heart.

“Anyways, I got a job at Langley. Desk. Bought a house not too far from here, actually. It’s nice. Got a big backyard. Even bigger oak tree,” you told him with a smile. “Lewis wants me to build him a treehouse, but I’m not sure I can swing it.”

“I could help,” Russell offered, trying to keep his eagerness at bay when truly all he wanted was to race there and build the damn thing now. “I mean, if I can come by sometime…”

Your heart sank. “You can always come home. You always could, Russ.”

Home.

That four-letter word filled him with so much warmth and longing it brought back the tears in his eyes.

“So, uhm, why are you here and not there then?” This time, he switched the topic because he would’ve kissed you if he hadn’t. “You running a sting on the pastor or…?”

“One of his sheep.”

“Ah.” Russell nodded. “Need any help?”

“From you and Colter?”

“Yeah.”

“No, thank you.”

“Oh, c’mon, just lemme help. The faster you get this done and over with, the sooner you can stop clutching your fake pearls and get home to the kids,” Russell reasoned.

You sighed, knowing he was partially right. You did hate your disguise as much as you hated the annoyingly nosy pastor. Moreover, you missed your children a fucking lot. It had already been three months. Fall was coming soon, and you had promised your son you’d be home by his first day of school.

“C’mon, how did they lure you back in, huh? Who’s the naughty little sheep you’re working?”

“Can’t talk about this here,” you told him, automatically lowering your voice. It was hard to remember who you were right now, when what you were used to be was standing right in front of you.

Russell quirked a brow. “Did you bug the coop, too?”

“No, the pastor’s scared of the chickens, which is why I didn’t bother. But you never know if someone else isn’t listening. We’ve already shared too much. We shouldn’t do this here,” you insisted, and Russell nodded in agreement. He knew the dangers as well as you did.

“Then where?”

You exhaled a deep breath and thought for a moment. You wanted to see him again. You knew he didn’t just come find you to catch up and then leave again.

“Come by the house tonight. Make it look natural. I’ll invite you guys to dinner as a sort of friendly welcome wagon to the neighborhood. The pastor is gonna buy it in a heartbeat. Just give me a good reason to invite you over.”

Russell nodded in understanding. “Alright.”

Part 3: This Is a Heart-To-Heart – SOON 💚

Welp, seems like Russell omitted having a wife and two kids... 🙈😂

I'll post the next part in the beginning of the new year or straight after Polaris has finished. We'll see ☺️

Enjoy the rest of your holidays, loves! Can't wait to read your comments on this one 😉🤍

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[makib1tch]

ummm all of them 😅

OKAY OKAY THISLL BE LONG BUT ILL TRY

the character everyone gets wrong : Alnst Luka. LIKE I GET THAT PEOPLE DONT LIKE HIM BUT HE ISNT THE VILLAIN. THE ALIENS ARE THE FUCKING VILLAINS. Like I lowkey feel like he doesn’t understand that what he’s doing is wrong. Like he wants to survive. Thats how the alien taught him too. DONT GET ME STARTED ILL RAMBLE WAY TOO FUCKIN MUCH

a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom: uhhh my fav is Aventurine and I see him as a switch sooooo….idk 🥲🥲🥲🥲.

screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr : uuuuuuh idk sorry

what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person? : idk if it counts but like I had a friend I vented to her and told her I $h and she started to insult me and yea I was having a panic attack and blocked her

worst discord server and why : I’m never on discord so idk

which ship fans are the most annoying? Not all of them (I sometimes ship it too) but aventio/ratiorine/call them what u want idc. Like. There are ratiorine shippers who are like "OOOOHOOHH AVENTURINE IS SUCH A HORNY BOTTOM WHOREEE AND RATIO IS A HORNY DOM EUZKZKALALAL" and then they go and ruin the entire fucking characters. Like I like the ship when it’s done right. When they respect the fuckin characters. Not when they ship them out of pure horniness. BUT NOT ALL OF THEM. Oh and it’s the same for Ruikasa (pjsk) shippers.

what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them? : I used to hate Ratio. Because of the weird ratiorine shippers.

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about : THAT LUKA FROM

ALNST IS THE VILLAIN

worst part of canon : idkidkkdk

worst part of fanon : idk too sorry im shit at ask games

number of fandom-related words you've filtered : none

the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them : Alnst Luka. Again with him. HES SUCH A FUCKIN INTERESTING AND COMPLEX CHARACTER ILOVE HIM

worst blorboficiation : the fuck is that?

that one thing you see in fics all the time : in x reader like "you have blue eyes and black hair" THEN NO THATS NOT AN X READER

that one thing you see in fanart all the time: aaaaaahh idkk I see way too much fanarts everyday

you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc) : Hyuna x Luka. I don’t understand. They’re so toxic like

there should be more of this type of fic/art: anyone comforting aventurine. My baby needs comfort. I love him. I want to hug him

it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on... : i don’t think people have been sleeping on but idk she still doesn’t get enough credit everyone go read @aventurineswife ‘s fics they’re so fuckin good.

you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like... : those x reader fics that are written out of straight up horniness. They be having the most obscene and devious devilish things.

part of canon you found tedious or boring : the whole xianzhou luofu quest ig. Expect for Tingyun I love her. But like idk I was kinda bored in it. Maybe it’s just me idk

part of canon you think is overhyped : Himekos death in csm. Like I saw people being super sad but like…idk. I didnt feel sad for her. I felt bad for Aki since he was sad yeah. But Himeko like her death didn’t do anything for me.

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores : AAAAAAAH IDK IM SORRY

ship you've unwillingly come around to : Ratiorine, I used to hate it. Now I like it. (I’m not sure I understood the question lmao)

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse : The hospital scene in the End of Evangelion. I don’t have to explain. I think just no one should talk about it.

common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing : "Denji is a dumb pervert."

OK FINALLY FINISHED I TOOK WAY TOO FUCKIN LONG TO ANSWER THIS

I’m shit at ask games sorry lmao

[arson-09]

Tamsand is so canon to me that i forget they technically arent canon. Sjm wrote some of the strangest, most homoerotic lines and scenes between those two and im just a bystander reading like 🧍🏻🧍🏻

[antianakin]

I don't personally think he'd be any worse than anyone else. Mostly because, as you sort-of mention at the bottom, the true problem is not and never has been the Jedi who teaches him, but Palpatine's intervention in his Jedi training. You could literally put Anakin with any Jedi as his master and the result would be exactly the same. None of them would be uniquely better or worse for Anakin because none of them are able to completely eliminate Palpatine's influence. This is why I made the joke post that arguably the ONLY Jedi who could possibly be "better" for Anakin than anyone else was Jon Antilles, a comic-only character who routinely seems to disappear on missions and be presumed dead for months or years before he just randomly pops up again and spends most of his time AWAY from the Temple. This would likely effectively stop Palpatine from being able to gain access to Anakin easily, but not through any actual effort on Jon Antilles's part.

But also, your argument that what happened in the Council room would impact him negatively would still remain true with ANY OTHER JEDI MASTER to some degree. "If I'm NOT the Chosen One, then everyone fought for me or made exceptions for me for nothing." That remains true even if Qui-Gon himself isn't his Master. You can obviously argue that it'd be something that would impact his relationship with Obi-Wan, it would've impacted a relationship with Mace or Yoda or Plo Koon or Ki-Adi-Mundi.

So, you know, yes, obviously Palpatine has things he can use to fuck up Anakin's relationship with Qui-Gon, places where he can seed doubt, but he'd be able to do that with just about ANYONE who'd ended up Anakin's master, there's absolutely nothing uniquely awful about Qui-Gon or his relationship with Anakin that would make him worse for Anakin than someone like Obi-Wan or Mace or Yoda or Ki-Adi-Mundi or Plo Koon, ALL OF WHOM are involved in this series of events and so have much the same history for Palpatine to pull on. Even if he lands with someone uninvolved in the entire affair like Kit Fisto or Shaak Ti, there are going to be things that Palpatine can use to seed doubt, regardless of the lack of relative "history" they have with Anakin.

But remove Palpatine from the equation. Let's assume that TPM still goes generally as in canon, but somehow Palpatine is just... not an issue anymore for Anakin and Qui-Gon lives to take on Anakin. This leaves us with the question of whether Qui-Gon's belief in the prophecy and in Anakin's place within it would negatively impact his relationship with Anakin to the point that it's significantly worse than if Anakin were with anyone else. And I don't personally believe that it would. Qui-Gon DOES believe in it, but he brings it up only when he feels like he HAS to in order to convince the Council to let Anakin be trained and to ask Obi-Wan to take up this mission in Qui-Gon's place, both places where he's clearly desperate and running out of options. This doesn't indicate, to me, that Qui-Gon would constantly be bringing it up to Anakin or even necessarily that he'd allow it to just... fester in their relationship or impact how he treated Anakin.

Anakin himself likely WOULD have some thoughts about it, some doubts about whether he can live up to it or not, worries about Qui-Gon's belief in him, but that is arguably no worse than what he's got with Obi-Wan, who demonstrably DIDN'T believe in the prophecy and agreed more with the Council that he was dangerous. Obi-Wan's LACK of belief would create just as many doubts and uncertainties as Qui-Gon's faith. I don't think one is necessarily innately better or worse in this situation. And if Palpatine is entirely out of the equation, I think Qui-Gon is perfectly capable of helping Anakin overcome some of those doubts and uncertainties with Jedi teachings, the same way he's clearly helped Obi-Wan work through many of his own (Obi-Wan's shock and anger at the events in the Council chamber lead him to react a little rashly and lash out at Qui-Gon a little, but he does ultimately manage to calm himself enough to understand where Qui-Gon was coming from and apologize, an ability he likely gained FROM QUI-GON'S TEACHINGS). Many people, myself included, have pointed out that Anakin was likely entirely capable of learning to apply Jedi teachings to himself if Palpatine hadn't interfered, and I believe that that's no less true with Qui-Gon than it is with Obi-Wan or anyone else.

I've seen the argument that Qui-Gon would've been a bad master for Anakin because he would've been so obsessed with the prophecy that he never would've let Anakin be his own person outside of it and this would've put undue pressure on Anakin as he grew up. But this just doesn't make any sense to me given what we see of him and what we know of him.

Qui-Gon brings up the prophecy all of TWICE in TPM: when the Council rejects Anakin for training, and when he's dying and asking Obi-Wan to train Anakin. He doesn't even harp on it all that much when he DOES bring it up. He says it once when the Council give their decision and then immediately moves to a different tactic when he can tell this isn't going to sway them. He doesn't keep trying to convince them of why the chosen one is important or anything.

And both of these instances are explicitly done out of a desire to ensure Anakin GETS training. Once Anakin is already being trained, there isn't necessarily any indication that Qui-Gon would feel the need to keep bringing it up or pressuring Anakin with that knowledge. Yes, Anakin would know Qui-Gon believes it, but he knows that in canon, too, and he knows Obi-Wan knows about it and that his choice to train Anakin was done in large part because of Qui-Gon's own belief. So I don't know that I believe that Anakin would feel all that much additional pressure under Qui-Gon's tutelage than he does in canon under Obi-Wan's.

Qui-Gon is also just not a particularly chatty person by nature, it seems. He seems like someone who listens more than he speaks and holds back until he feels like it's worth it to say something. We often see him only say as much as he thinks NEEDS to be said and no more (the best example of this is in his conversations with Obi-Wan on Tatooine where he seems to hang up mid-conversation more often than he doesn't). Half the time when he speaks, it's because someone spoke to him FIRST and he's responding or answering a question.

So it just doesn't seem particularly in character for Qui-Gon to be constantly discussing the prophecy or bringing it up to Anakin. He seems like someone more inclined to simply let Anakin come to his own conclusions about the possibility of being the chosen one and what that means to him rather than enforcing his own perspective on Anakin. This could cause Anakin to jump to conclusions that cause problems down the line, but he jumps to conclusions in canon that cause plenty of their own problems anyway, so I don't think Anakin's situation would be all that much better or worse with Qui-Gon than it was with Obi-Wan.

[dellovestorant]

What. a. fucking. idiotic. question.