#and that asuka was somewhat comforting

[momentary-moss]

Healing

[call-me-a-simp]

No one hates you more than I do!

Locked Up (Part 1)

Enemies to lovers (Rhea Ripley x fem. Reader):

You're a well known wrestler in WWE and Rhea is your worst enemy. You hate each other in and outside of the ring. Rhea always flirts with you, not that she means it, she just knows it makes you furious and wants to annoy you. But one day everything changes and you start to feel like all of this isn't a joke anymore and that there might actually be something between you two.

You're walking backstage, just wanting to find the next best sink to wash your face. You challenged Asuka for her Women's Championship title and lost because she used her poison mist attack and you couldn't see well for the rest of the match.

"Hey y/l/n" you hear a familiar voice shout in your direction. Of course it had to be her, you think to yourself. "Leave me alone idiot" you snap back. You hated her, you were sworn enemies and she never missed an opportunity to let you know that.

"Aw someone's mad" she mocks you. "Argh Rhea please, I just want to go to the fucking bathroom to wash my fucking face" you say and try to push past her.

"Ye ye, let me help you" she says and picks you up in one swift motion. "Hey!" you yell. "Rhea Ripley, you're letting me down right now or we're gonna have a serious problem!" you try to wind free from her grip, hitting your fists against her back and kicking with your legs but to no avail.

Rhea chuckles at your efforts, she knew how much you hated getting picked up, especially if it was from her. You try to open your eyes a little to see if there's someone who could help you and spot a tall man in black ring gear.

"Hey Damian! Tell your stupid friend to let me the fuck down!" you shout over to him. "Sorry Bae, gotta go" he winks and walks over to the gorilla. You mutter something inaudible and eventually just accept that Rhea is carrying you over her shoulder now.

As you reach the bathroom she let's you down roughly and you stumble backwards, hitting a sink. "Thanks for nothing" you grumble, not realising that Ripley already closed the door and locked it from the outside, making it impossible for you to get out again on your own.

You try to wash off the poison mist from your face and out of your eyes. It burns heavily and tears are streaming down your cheeks but you had to get it out, not wanting to risk any long term injuries.

Several minutes later you finally had a somewhat clear vision again. Your face was still green and black from the mist Asuka used on you. Your make up everywhere but where it used to be and your eyes red from crying and rubbing.

You just wanted to get out of here, change into some comfortable clothes and get home into bed. You walk over to the door, just to find it locked. You try to open it, rattling the lock and throwing yourself against the door but it doesn't move even a bit.

"God damn it" you curse under your breath. "Rhea! RHEA! LET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" you scream. "took you longer to notice than I expected" you hear her laugh outside. "sorry sweety but I can't do anything, I lost the key. Well, see ya!" she chirms and walks away.

"What?! No, NO LET ME OUT! HELP!" you scream on top of your lungs. You hated being locked in some tiny room. Not only that, but your claustrophobia didn't exactly make it any better.

You kept screaming but no one seemed to hear you, nor walk past the door. You wondered where she put you, in which part of the building you where and eventually just gave up, sitting down on the floor crying until no more tears were left and you sat in silence.

---------------------------------------------------------

You didn't know how long you stayed in that room but it must have been hours. The sounds of the people in the arena had stopped since the show probably ended. You hear footsteps approaching the door and get new hope.

"Hello? Can anybody hear me? I need help, I'm locked in here!" you shout and bang against the door with your hands. The person outside stops, probably confused until you hear them knock on the door. "Hello? You in there?" you hear the janitor outside. His voice rusty and old, probably because he was smoking so much.

"Yes, yes please, can you open the door?" you plead, glad someone finally found you. The janitor was a very nice man in his late 60's, you liked him, he always brought a smile on your face as he knew exactly what to say to cheer you up.

The lock clicks and he opens the door." Oh my god thank you!" you sigh and hug him. "Woah Woah, how long have you been in there kid, it's almost two in the morning!" he chuckles, but you can still see the concern written in his face in the dimly lit hallway of the basement.

So that's where she took me, you think before explaining to your savior how you ended up there. "Thank you so much again, good night Joe" you say as you leave to find your locker room.

You're glad Joe found you, you don't even want to imagine having to spend the whole night in there without food or anything to change, having to lay on that uncomfortable, dirty floor. Oh Rhea is gonna regret this, this time she won't come away with it.

Maybe you could report her to Triple H, your boss. But on the other hand, what if everybody thinks you're weak then, reporting your coworker for a little incident which can be seen as an accident. No, you weren't going to take that risk, there has to be another way.

You enter your locker room, quickly change into comfortable clothing and wipe off your makeup and the remains of Asuka's poison mist. You grab your bag and keys and head out to at least get a little rest before tomorrow.

---------------------------------------------------

Part one of my new series No One Hates You More Than I Do, hope you like it. I'm planning on making longer chapters than in the last story. Again, comment if you wanna be added to the taglist, as I deleted the last one, not knowing who wants to be tagged in this one too.

And also, look at that picture I found of Mami 😍

Taglist: @specialinterestshows

[icycoldninja]

Cam you write the DMC men who’s similar to Akira Fudo from the Devilman Crybaby anime?

Once a regular human, she gained the power of the demon Amon after being inducted into a Sabbath ritual (The Sabbath Parties were the latest popular trend among the wealthy and dissatisfied individuals of Japan: Underground rave parties with an occult aesthetic.

When Ryo Asuka took Akira Fudo into in a dilapidated old church, with the intention of fusing with demons. It went about as well as could be expected and most partygoers ended up being possessed by a demon or slaughtered by one) organized by her best friend.

She was originally physically weak, but after being fused with a demon, she became much taller, with visible muscles and a permanent eyeliner

In her “Devil Trigger” form, her skin becomes a shade of bluish gray. She possesses a coat of dark fur that covers her entire legs, and she has clawed feet and fingers. Her head is covered in hair that sprouts small wings from the sides and antenna near the top, and forms into a widow's peak with a red forehead. Her back sprouts large black wings resembling those of a stereotypical devil with a purple interior. She also has a thin monkey-like tail.

She admits that other than the trauma from the Sabbath Ritual, she felt somewhat “appreciated” after being fused with a devil. She barely has friends, is always quiet and reserved and looks normal. So the whole fusing is just making her more devilishly attractive

But shit hits the fan when devils started targeting those around her and herself. There’s an instance in the anime where Akira found his friend killed from being associated with him and she was killed pretty brutally (there’s a scene of her death on YTB):

https://youtu.be/vr0eOkgHwxg?si=gq-zv4LByHVvpndG

After that, she went berserk, so blinded by rage and agony that she started mauling devils and humans left and right as she felt they deserved to be “punished” for killing those who are innocent

The boys then had to devil trigger to subdue her, not without some pretty serious injuries

After a few days cooling down, she just rot in her room as she was depressed and still feel as if her friend’s death was still fresh and had just happened seconds ago:

“I’m sorry…it’s my fault…I shouldn’t have gone with Ryo to that party” she mumbled

They obviously had to check on her since she had locked herself in the room without food and water for days, when they came in, she’s just rotting on her bed silently so they gently ask her what can they do for her

She’s just silent and unresponsive the whole time and when they thought she’s asleep as they were about to walk out, she just mutters that:

“Babe…Do you think Miki died because of me?”

“Are you disgusted of me…are apart of who I am?”

“Miki died because of me…Others died because of me…and I indulge in this fantasy of mine of how good of a change my life had become after being fused with a devil without considering the possibilities for tragedies to happen….Oh god Miki…I’m sorry”

She also says that she had hurt them while going berserk in her devil trigger form and she does not trust herself to devil trigger once more, knowing she might not be able to control herself like last time

How can they help her? How will they comfort her and what would they do to help her control herself better?

Sure, here.

Sparda boys + V x Akira Fudo-like!Reader headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-He'd heard about what happened to your friend and wanted tohelp you, but you locked yourself in your room and refused to come out. Dante eventually figured out how to pick the lock and entered with food and water, only to find you laying face down on the bed, stiff as a corpse.

-He asked you if there was anything he could do to help you, but you didn't respond. He thought you were asleep and was about ready to sneak back out, when you started mumbling about how you wished you hadn't gone to that party.

-He told you that what happened wasn't your fault, it was the demons who did that to your friend, and assured you he still loves you no matter what.

-He could never be disgusted by you, ever. Even if you are partly a demon now, so what? So is he!

-He's not scared of you either; he's honestly seen a lot worse and has gone through plenty of injuries more serious than the ones you've given him. He knows you never intended to hurt him, and won't blame you for it.

-He honestly thinks your Devil Trigger form is pretty cool. It's not every day he runs into a humanoid demon who's actually beautiful.

■ Vergil ■

-When Vergil heard about the tragedy that befell your friend, he wasn't sure what to do. This was a delicate situation that needed careful words to smooth over, and he didn't do so well with words.

-He eventually decided to portal into your room with some snacks and drinks to ask if everything was alright.

-When you didn't respond, he simply gave you a kiss on the head and promised to return later, thinking you'd fallen asleep. He got a tad bit startled when you suddenly started muttering regretfully, saying how you wished you hadn't gone to that party.

-Vergil then gave you a MOTIVATING pep talk explaining how he would never think any less of you for what you are now, and how the death of your friend was not your fault.

-He told you he would never think lowly of you for your new demon side. If anything, he finds it impressive, a testament to your POWER.

-Vergil isn't going to leave you for such a trivial matter, so you'd best stop laying around feeling sad and pull yourself together so you can make the most of these new abilities of yours.

□ Nero □

-Nero heard the news and knew you would be absolutely destroyed because of what happened. He understood, and wanted to be there for you.

-Despite your attempts to shut him out, Nero managed to worm his way into your room with gifts and snacks, and sat down on your bed, patiently waiting for you to start venting.

-When you refused to say a word and just lay there like a lump of lifeless mass, Nero knew what you were doing. You weren't really asleep, just too depressed to even look at him, so he decided to initiate conversation by lying down with you and wrapping you up in his arms.

-The comfort you needed finally being given to you, you began to open up and expressed how you regretted going to that party, because now you're a violent, unpredictable half demon who has become a target for other demons, and whose best friend just died as a result.

-Nero assured you that your friend's death wasn't your fault and that despite these changes, he still loved you and would stand by you forever.

-He promised to help you work through your new state of being. Being half demon didn't scare him one bit, considering both his father and uncle are like that too. You two will explore your new abilities and figure out how to better control them together.

● V ●

-V grew very worried when you didn't come by to visit him like you normally did. He figured it was because of an emergency, but as time went by and you still didn't make an appearance, he knew something was wrong.

-V learned the news of your friend's untimely death from one of your family members and raced to your house as fast as his weak legs would let him.

-When he got there, he found you lying on your bed in a gloomy haze, seemingly ready to stay there forever and just rot away. V didn't want that for you, (who would?) and sat down next to you, waiting patiently for you to start speaking, screaming, or whatever.

-You felt comfortable in his presence and slowly disclosed how you felt; how disgusted you were with your new form and how you regretted your decision to go to that party. You ended up revealing more than you meant to, but that was a good thing, since V now had a better grasp on how to comfort you.

-He stayed with you for the next several months taking care of you, constantly assuring you (despite weak protests on your part) that he would love you till the end of time and beyond; no matter what you became or what you did, this would always be true.

[moltensmusings]

What do you think about languages? I mean clearly having different voice actors or god forbid the insinuation that any fairy tail character spoke a different language was too much.

Like Latin being something strictly the church speaks or diving deeper into the fact that everyone from Isvan spoke different languages or some characters have heavier accents than others?

Ramble time because I honestly love conceptualizing accents/tones for voices. Honestly just wish I had a better grasp on non English languages and how to craft fictional ones.

Turned out longer than expected.

I want to apologize in advance because my limited knowledge does mean I can't go as in depth with the specifics as I'd like to.

I love the idea of different kingdoms having different languages and them being evolved versions of languages that existed when Zeref was fully mortal. Similar to how Olde English is absolutely not something modern English speakers can understand.

I think the two characters who for sure knew a secondary language would be Juvia and Alzack. I go back and forth with Juvia because I happened to be one of the people who saw enough of the Animax dub for French Juvia to lock into my brain like an old friend. Though I'll admit Slavic Juvia holds a dear place in my heart. Either way Juvia has a heavy accent on her to me and often slips into her native tongue when her emotions are heightened. Alzack I imagine to speak something akin to Spanish. I did base his look slightly on Latinx clothes and little Asuka mimicking her papa in a way almost no one in the guild got is too cute to pass up.

Within the cast itself I think anything created by Zeref is born with a built in understanding of the language his people spoke when he was fully human. Meaning in this case both demons and dragon slayers would have that knowledge. I imagine the language. I think Midian was very clearly based on ancient Greece so for me I imagine characters connected to zeref with a language similar to that. I think Zeref himself would have a decent understanding of languages as they change but ultimately would be most comfortable in his Native tongue. The concept of the dragon slayers meeting him and him slipping into it without them realizing he's speaking a new language because they understand it perfectly is such a fun concept.

In this same train I had actually been playing around with the idea of dragon slayers being incapable of learning to read modern script because of how different it was from their native language but instantly being capable of reading anything written in that Midian language.

Alvarez similarly I think would majority speak in an updated version of the Midian language, meaning anyone trying to go undercover would need a fair bit of understanding of the language.

As for the church: the more I think about it the more I do like the idea of them using latin/a language based on it because it adds even more interest to the lore. In the real world Roman's took and changed so much Greek culture when crafting their myths and Zeref having even more vitriol towards the church and its worship of the gods because he saw his country be pushed out and silence would've been insanely fascinating. I'm someone who struggles not to make organized religions corrupt within my stories so this only makes things more interesting.

I think everyone within the story speaking one language plays into soft fantasy ideas that we see a fair bit in media. Where the author either doesn't want to go through the trouble of working with people to add in language barriers or themselves doesn't know how to craft fictional languages. Though playing around with cultural differences and language clashing in a story provides a lot of opportunities for character depth.

Thank you for the question and I hope this is somewhat what you were searching for!

[canapotatoliteraryanalasys]

Something something… that Shinji post… something something…

I have seen many analysts and interpretations on Shinjis character but there is one aspect of his character that I have not seen anyone mention: his raging misogyny

Since the death of his mother Shinji has not had a close relationship with anyone and this shapes the way he views the people around him. He has a somewhat healthy relationship with his male friends but it is clear that he does not really understand his friends or how friendships even works.

Shinjis relationships with the three mane girls, Misato, Rei and Asuka, are very important to the show. These are the characters he most longs to be close with and pushes away the most. Because Shinji grew up without a mother or any other close female family member, he cannot se relationships with women as platonic, he can only se them as what society has conditioned him to se, sexual. It is clear Shinji desires something from these girls, the same thing he desires from everyone to be seen and loved, but his stupid 14 year old boy brain misinterpreted this as sexual desire, both because he doesn’t se women as entirely human but also because being horny is a lot less scary than wanting to be truly loved for who you are. Both Shinji and Asuka project their parental issues both onto each other and onto Misato, Asukas need to prove herself and Shinjis need to be accepted. During the show they do both often act as if romantically interested in each other but I believe they are simply convinced, as most young teens are, that romance is the height of validation. Shinji is also desperate for Reis validation because she reminds him of his mother and his deep jealousy of her for receiving his father’s validation, Shinji is desperate to be seen by his father and maybe if he is acknowledged by someone who is acknowledged by his father then he will be victoriously accepted in some way.

There are two scenes that I feel exemplify this diconance between Shinjis true desires and view of women. The first is when Shinji and eva 1 have been consumed by leliel, we see clips of Misato, Rei, Asuka and Shinjis mother trying to convince him to become one with them. Shinjis mother is obscured in shadow, motherly love is only a concept to him. And the three who Shinji actually knows are very much not like themselves they are all making the same face and saying the same thing in the same tone. This scene also implies that “becoming one” is somewhat sexual. The other is after death of Rei ii when Misato is trying to comfort Shinji. At first viewing I thought Misato was making a sexual advance on him, I believe the scene is purposefully framed for this interpretation, but I don’t believe that this is Misatos intention. This is how Shinji misinterprets this moment because he doesn’t understand human affection.

The dehumanizing of others that comes with oppression always comes with a dehumanization of the self, a threat that if you are not the oppressor you will be the oppressed. Shinji cannot grow as a person because he cannot accept that the woman in his life are just as human as himself. And because he cannot except that not treating them as such makes him a terrible person.

In the show ending of evangelion Shinji internally confronts his fears and weaknesses excepting himself and by extension those around him. In the movie ending of evangelion on the other hand Shinji is forced to confront that what he thinks he desires for Asuka, Misato and Rei is not actually what he desires. Shinji believes that what he desires is sexual gratification, romance and “becoming one”. When Shinji masterbates over Asukas comatosed body in the hospital he receives what he thinks he wants from her, looking at her boobs and beating his meat. And yet when he’s done, both Shinji and the audience are left with a feeling of dread and emptiness, this is not what Shinji wanted from Asuka. Misato kisses Shinji on the mouth in order to bribe him into piloting the eva one last time, i and many other eva fans dislike this because we dislike grown women kissing children. I personally do not believe that Misato would ever kiss Shinji in this way but Shinji cannot grow in the way he does in the movie unless he is confronted with the fact that he does not want this from Misato. But Shinji does also receive something else from Misato, her cross necklace, the one that her father gave her before he died, and just like then this represents a parental sacrifice as this is just before Misato dies. Shinji keeps the cross with him for the rest of the movie because it is what he actually wanted from Misato. And finally Rei causing human instrumentality offers Shinji to become one with her and all of humanity. Being one, without distends between people, without misunderstanding, without pain. This is what both Shinji and his father believed they desire most, and when Shinji finally receives it it is not what he wants. instead of becoming one with Rei he chooses to symbolically make a human connection, taking her hand as two separate beings.

And when Shinji has finally grown and accepted others and himself, he is confronted with Asuka. And for a moment all his growth washes away. He strangles her, maybe he cannot handle the guilt of seeing her after what he has done, maybe he is trying to prove that he knows Asuka, and that she will react the same as (maybe imagine Asuka) when they fought inside human instrumentality.

But instead of reaching like Shinji and the audience has come to expect from Asuka, she gently touches his face and tells him that he is disgusting. Confronting Shinji one final time with the humanity of others and himself.

I don’t believe this interpretation to be intentional at all considering the way this franchise treats its underage female characters

[cheerful-sixears]

Finnigan "Fitz" Barnes || he/him/his || pygmy/jamnapari goat || 30

update for a dear OC of mine ;u; <3 don't consider myself a real furry [moreso enthusiast] , so yeah! Finnigan or "Fitz" was one of my first 'coming out' OC's that I created with the help of my brother, @monkie-deej. <3

Profile below the cut ;u;

\\\-Basics-\\\

☽｡⋆Name: Finnigan Olivander Barnes

☽｡⋆Nickname(s): Finn, Finny, “Fitz”, Finners, Fizzy, Fizzles, 

☽｡⋆Species: Pygmy Goat, Jamnapari Goat & 0.2% fainting goat

☽｡⋆Age: 30

☽｡⋆Height: 5'3"

☽｡⋆Weight: 290+lbs

☽｡⋆Hair Color: curly and dyed pink

☽｡⋆Eye Color: Kelly Green

☽｡⋆Fur Color: rich cream colored w/ Rusty, Reddish Brown markings + "pink nose"

☽｡⋆Hoof/Horn Color: pale, pastel slate brown

☽｡⋆Tattoos: none

☽｡⋆Scars: right elbow; knees [scattered]

☽｡⋆Piercings: Ear lobes, bullring/septum

☽｡⋆Notable Accessories: Occasionally; a paperboy hat, fingerless gloves, kandi bracelets galore

\\\-Personality-\\\

☽｡⋆Occupation/Specialties: Zombies/Ghouls, Drawing, Writing, and Currently Unemployed from a REAL jobbb

☽｡⋆Fears: *murky [deep] water, heights and most high speeds, losing Audron

☽｡⋆Hobbies: Drawing, writing, scrapbooking, collecting various things, reading, cooking

☽｡⋆Clothing: Prefers clothing to be on the more comfortable side, edgy. He doesn’t have much of a ‘fashion’ sense, and he doesn’t really care what others think of his personal, artsy choices. As long as it’s comfortable and brings good feelings, he’ll wear it. Hee mostly prefers graphic tees, dark colored band tees, sometimes with silly phrases alongside fitted jeans [in pink or purple] and crazy hoof-shoes.

☽｡⋆Personality: Finn has a gentle heart, and a childlike nature and mind most often. He can be very sensible, yet very sensitive, and is always willing to accept those willing to accept him. He adores and is always willing to make new friends of all walks of life, but has a hard time doing so, making him seem somewhat imposing and difficult to approach. He may see the glass half empty on some days, but never doubts a rainy day having a chance to be a genuine, good one. It’s hard to make him cry, but when he does, he spills his heart, and usually feels better by the end of it. Overall, he is a very generous, kind, and caring individual, who is fun loving, and adventurous at best.

☽｡⋆Relationships: 

–Romantic: Closed // [fictionally]

–List: Macaque [Lego Monkie Kid], Ryo Asuka//Satan [Devilman Franchise], Kumatetsu [The Boy and the Beast]

–Friends: Audron/OddyMoo [ @monkie-deej], Shadow/Shade [ @evil-dad-evil], 

–Friendships: Open // [just ask! <3]

\\\-Weaknesses/Negative Traits/Disadvantages-\\\

☽｡⋆Illnesses: short temper, sad very often, tummy troubles, common migraines and symptoms

☽｡⋆Weaknesses: pollen/allergies, social anxiety, anger issues, 

\\\-Other Preferences-\\\

☽｡⋆Likes: Cooking, Eating, Star Gazing, Mythology, Vampires and cryptids, All nighters with friends, drawing, rodents/marsupials, winged things, dinosaurs and paleo, undead things, dark poetry, loud music, swimming, plushies, reading, the undead, cooking, being lazy on comfy days

☽｡⋆Dislikes: negative thoughts, bright lights, migraines, losing control over himself, repetitive noises, fake people, fakes and liars, assumptions, cleaning, control freaks, 

☽｡⋆Romantic Preference: Demi-Asexual

[varietales]

Bisca – general dynamics with FT members. Part 4

Unless plotted otherwise, this is how she feels about these characters and is a rough idea of their dynamic with her.

Freed – Due to him and his team only rarely being around the guild (particularly pre-Fantasia), she didn’t get much time to interact with him. Of course, it was the similarity in their hair colour that drew her eye initially (not to mention the fact he’s just damn pretty), and his air of mystery was a topic that came up in the guild whenever he made an appearance. In their limited encounters, she found him polite and hard to read, but cool (in a similar way to Erza), and although she didn’t dare to, she was tempted to try find a way to ruffle him somehow. Post-Fantasia, she took a while to forgive him and the others for what they put the town and guild through, but seeing them all begin to fit in better and make more of an effort was rather heartwarming. It wasn’t long after that that he disappeared along with the others on Tenrou. Now, having spent more time around him, she enjoys his company and feels more comfortable around him, appreciating his detail-oriented nature and maturity. She's still lowkey looking for ways to ruffle him.

Evergreen – As with Freed, their interactions were few and far between up until the Battle of Fairy Tail. Bisca had heard a few rumours about her but was interested in making up her own mind about her, but never had much of a chance to do so. Again, as with Freed, Bisca took a bit of time to forgive her (being turned to stone was not easy to forget), but once she had worked through her feelings on the matter and had a few friendly conversations with her, she found she quite liked her. She once asked Evergreen about her wings, which eventually led to the pair doing some flying practice together (one of Bisca’s pets is a large birdlike creature capable of carrying her on its back). Now, they hang out together semi-regularly if they can manage it, between jobs and other life things, Bisca enjoys Evergreen’s views and humour. Bisca is more of a coffee drinker, but enjoys having tea with her whenever they catch up.

Bixlow – Perhaps due to the fact he wasn’t so directly involved in the Battle of Fairy Tail (you know what I mean – yes he was involved but he wasn’t the one that placed runes that would force others to fight, and he didn’t turn anyone to stone), and the fact that he was someone she got along with beforehand, but she found him easier to accept/forgive afterwards than the others. He’s the type that’s always up for shenanigans and trying new things, so she found him fun. As it is now, since she’s gotten older and matured somewhat, she kinda sighs (in fond exasperation) at some of his antics and tries not to get involved (he’s pulled her into some things in the past). He is one of Asuka’s favourite people, so Bisca can’t help but appreciate him for that and for the way he entertains her and looks after her.

Laxus – He didn’t make a great first impression, his attitude and demeanour were certainly Not Great, leaving her with an unfavourable opinion of him. She heard stories about him more than she ever saw him around, and she struggled to understand Natsu’s excited and positive view of him but still, she thought that as he was a member of the guild, he surely couldn’t be that bad. The Battle of Fairy Tail did not help her view of him, and honestly, to begin with she was glad that he was kicked out. As she healed and things settled, she did wonder if what he really needed was help, and not to be isolated, as she knew from her own past experiences of acting out and causing trouble that sometimes a helping hand was needed. Due to him being excommunicated and then lost along with the others on Tenrou, seeing him again once the group returned (and him looking the same) was unnerving, bringing back memories of his unpleasant attitude and being electrocuted by the Thunder Palace. She kept a wary eye on him, softening as she noticed the subtle changes in him. When Asuka developed a fascination with him, Bisca couldn’t help being a little tense at their first interaction, however she soon saw there was nothing to worry about. Surprisingly to some, Laxus has become one of the more regular babysitters (along with his team) for Asuka and is someone Bisca trusts. Outside of bonding via the girl, Bisca and Laxus aren’t particularly close, but she is becoming more and more fond of him.

Gajeel – Being a good friend of team Shadow Gear, Bisca did not take kindly to Gajeel when he joined, knowing how brutally he had attacked them. Protective of her friends after the attack, particularly Levy, Bisca kept a close eye on them and often escorted Levy to places or watched over her from a distance. She also kept a wary eye on Gajeel. Having come from a rough patch herself, she understood that there might be more to him than met the eye, so she also hoped to gain a better understanding of him through her watchful gaze. Before she could really see too much, Tenrou happened. Following his return and everything that happened since, she’s come to accept him and even find him amusing at times. And she can finally admit she really likes his aesthetic. They don’t tend to have much to do with each other, but she has told him off a few times (using her ‘mum voice’) when he’s done something he shouldn’t. And also, Asuka once (very loudly) asked her where Gajeel’s eyebrows are.

Pantherlily – Out of the exceeds, she thinks he is the cutest. They don’t interact all that much, but she appreciates his levelheadedness and they can enjoy a good conversation.

Makarov – When she first met him, he reminded her of her own grandfather, simply for the fact that he’s an old man and grumpy at times. It didn’t take her long to realise that was where the similarities ended and that Makarov was…strange. As a mage with great power and knowledge, he had her respect, and for allowing her to join the guild despite her crimes under the guilds name, he had some of her loyalty. Aside from that, she kept her distance as she preferred not to be anywhere near his wandering hands or creepy commentary.

[goodolreliablejake]

I’d like to share a way I look at certain type of stories. Probably not anything groundbreaking, but an analytical lens nonetheless. I think of certain stories as Nightmares, and I’d like to present two case studies: End of Evangelion and a Steven Universe fanfic that I’ve been working on for a bit.

So, in our darkest moments, when we’re deep in that bad place, and depression or despair or disappointment or catastrophizing or anxiety or whatever else is telling us the story of our own lives, it’s easy to see the worst in ourselves. As fallible human beings, we are sometimes insecure, selfish, angry, etc., but we’re usually not as bad as we fear we are in those moments. However, in those bad times, we’re highly susceptible to anyone confirming our worst fears.

Most stories, when you see someone make a bad choice and follow the results, I think you’re meant to read it somewhat literally. It makes a statement about how the world works or what the person should have done. But a nightmare is a story that wallows in the bad place. It doesn’t really comment on what’s real, how the world works, how we should live our lives. It instead seems to exist only to torture the characters within it. It manifests whatever they fear. People become their worst selves. When they try to be better, fate conspires to turn the consequences to evil. When they try to escape, fate conspires to keep them face to face with temptation. If the story tells us anything concrete, it is about fear. I think there’s a value in stories like this, if only because they reflect a very human experience. Many, but not all horror stories are Nightmares. Many, but not all tragedies are Nightmares.

I think End of Evangelion is the Nightmare version of Eva. People’s worst impulses, the things that they most fear about themselves, are proven true. Shinji both cannot face his reality, and so destroys all life, but also cannot live without the chance to make others suffer, so he brings himself and Asuka back to suffer in a hell-world. Misato cannot protect and guide Shinji as a commander or surrogate parent, and her inappropriate sexual advances alienate rather than comfort him. Rei betrays the man she thought she loved for Shinji, and it brings Shinji no happiness, and Rei’s humanity is forever lost. Asuka thinks she’s finally attained the maternal love and protection she’s longed for, but no, she’s dies painfully and horribly, resurrected only to relive an eternal cycle of abuse.

Now, I ask you—can we really see the characters of the original series doing these things? Maybe. I don’t know. For me… I’d like to believe the answer is no. But I can’t say for certain, because at the very least, I think this is at least the worst case scenario that they’re all imagining. Almost comically so. Almost comically as bad as things could possibly go. And whether you see End of Evangelion as a legitimate ending or a bad dream, it certainly colors a new viewing of the original series, doesn’t it?

That’s a similar approach I took to writing this fanfic, which I titled “The Pink Nightmare.” The concept was that a pink miasma—the ephemeral light ‘stuff’ that is channeled by, for example, The Pink Diamond, for emotion-based powers. After the events of Steven Universe Future, it puts our cast to sleep, reimagining things, just slightly different. When hit with the rejuvenator, instead of just losing his powers, Steven is subsumed by Pink Diamond, but not the one we know: a “purer” form intent on completing her mission of conquering the Earth and winning her sibling’s respect. Connie steps up as the new hero, fighting to save her friend, but forced farther and father away from the life and future that she wants. Meanwhile, Pearl finds something strange… She cannot bring herself to resist Pink Diamond’s commands… Is tempted to go to her side, to serve her… To betray her friends and reenter the toxic relationship she spent all this time resisting to build her own identity…

So, I like this “nightmare” idea as a lens for analysis, because it gives us a way of looking at some truly desolate stories and get something out of them without our real world becoming hopeless. Because I think these two things are simultaneously true: sometimes the world feels hopeless AND ALSO nothing is ever truly hopeless, and we can make space for both .

[dangan-infinity]

Car #1 - The Icebreaker Car

Speed - Express

Format - Assigned Seating

Group DAFT - Abel, Dexter, Fenna, Taran

Group AMVV - Arty, Melvin, Vinzent, Viper

Group JAR - Asuka, Jack, R.N.A. 

Group HAM - Atsuko, Haruka, Matsukaze

Travel Time - An hour or two

Points of Interest

Frozen Expanse - The surface of some vast body of water, frozen solid. The ice isn’t that comfortably thick beneath you, though…

The Depths - Dark waters below the ice, as cold as they ought to be. Falling in would not be pleasant.

The Horizon - There seem to be snow banks and mountains in the distance… You’re not sure you can walk that far.

Denizens

??? (Background/Non-Speaking) - Something seems to lurk below the ice. It doesn’t feel friendly.

Special Notes

If you weren’t already wearing some when you boarded the train, you seem to have a warm coat and winter gloves on now. They’re nothing you recognize, but they are somewhat suited to your personal styles.

The ice is too thin to safely stand on by yourself, so you may need to crawl… but that’s strange. The ice seems to become stronger the more people you gather together?

Introducing yourself to the group for the first time causes the exit door to become more solid. Giving more information than just a name makes a slightly bigger impact. Giving true names vs. nicknames/aliases doesn’t seem to make a perceptible difference.

[goetzjpvis]

phew, there's a bit too much to unpack here.....

I watched Eva twice, once in middle school (mistake lol), and once during early college. I'll try to disallow my knowledge of the series from affecting my review for just these episodes but I'm sorry if that bleeds through.

Anyways, at it's core, I can see Eva being a story of not only emotional dependence, but human relationships and the struggle between acceptance in society and personal conviction. (While writing this I realized there is soooo much to talk about with Eva...)

Right off the bat, in episode one, we are given a detailed account of Shinji's personal life. He has no identifiable mother (yet), to whom the stand in becomes his somewhat emotionally incestuous relationship with Misato... But wait, Misato also has a somwhat complicated relationship with Kaji! Is she a harlot? No! Kaji himself rejects love from Asuka (I wouldn't necessarily say that asuke is vying for his romantic attention because she genuinely likes him, but rather because he is a stand in for her mother), who feels complicated about Shinji, who feels complicated about his dad, to whom Rei feels complicated about.... See a pattern? Anyways, the show showcases this little tidbit about something called the "Hedgehog's dilemma", which boils down to the idea that humans want to be close with eachother... they want to be comforted and intimate with eachohter, but they simultaneously cannot achieve the intimacy they desire because that requires themselves getting "hurt" (by their quills). Many of the characters we see in the show desire a form of intimacy (whether that be romantic or familial, or just plain old approval) but they find themselves hurting themselves to achieve those feelings and then end up retreating into their own hedgehog ball once again. So what is this dilemma trying to teach us exactly? This is why we pull away. Misato actually never really intentionally explores her complicated relationship with her employment at NERV and I fully believe she uses her escapades with Kaji, and sometimes even Shinji to fill that hole.

A large part of Eva is what I felt was facing yourself, and the strength required for personal introspection. Aside from the large cast who frankly.... refuses to think about their past trauma and examine it, I believe the show is telling the reader to do that themselves. For fuck's sake, even the NERV HQ faces inward towards the world! It asks them if this is what they want for the future, in a sense.

[colacat53]

I just thought of some angst for my Danganronpa OC ships.

there are technically 5 canonical ships for my fangans and the reason I say technically is being one of them is a one-sided crush

I just thought of what if the ships that had someone in it die were swapped?

so there will only be 3 out of the 4 ships that are actually canon because in the case of the ShiSetsuEri ship all three of them lived

okay so first is the ship of Yui and Marie which in canon Yui is killed by Morio in chapter 3 and so in this au Marie would be killed instead and I feel like Yui would have a much worse reaction than Marie because I feel like Yui is not as mentally stable as Marie. So I imagine that Yui would have a similar reaction to how Akane Taira from Danganronpa Another reacted to the death of her best friend Ayame. Yui would be able to somewhat cope/move on from Marie's death after some of the other killing game participants comfort her. I imagine she would be comforted by Keijiro who was a close friend of her and Marie, Asuka who is the protagonist of the fangan, Ellora, Zentaro and possibly Rumiko who would do it in attempt to maybe manipulate Yui since she(Rumiko) is the mastermind.

Next up is Momo and Hanako and in canon Momo is killed by Shota in chapter 4 after Rumiko told him she had reason to believe that Momo was the mastermind. In this au Hanako would be killed instead and I imagine it would be along the same reasons as why Shota killed Momo but with added things such as Hanako's talent of Ultimate Serial Killer making her a very dangerous person that was too dangerous to be alive in a killing game. I imagine Momo wouldn't react well but would still accept it as in a fanfic I wrote on the twos first kiss, Momo is reluctant to be in a relationship with Hanako because they were in a killing game and could be killed at any moment.

Next is a ship from my second fangan being Chiyoko and Aiko. In canon Chiyoko is killed by Kuroma after she saw Kuroma murder Eshima. and in Chapter 5 Aiko is murdered by Misa because Aiko was close to finding a way to escape the Killing Game and since Misa was the mastermind she didn't want the game to end. I imagine Chiyoko would react similarly to Aiko in canon but would be hellbent on finding Aiko's killer and then after the trial she would work harder to escape the killing game. Also for another factor in this is that in canon when Kuroma is revealed to have killed Chiyoko, Aiko breaks down crying while angrily yelling at Kuroma and I imagine in this au the same thing would happen but I feel like it's more impactful in canon because Aiko had never shown that much emotion before that scene where Chiyoko has shown a lot of emotion as in Chapter 1 she has a scene where she pins Aiko to a wall because she(Chiyoko) hated her(Aiko) due to Aiko's talent of the Ultimate Hacker and since Chiyoko was the Ultimate Judge(as in court) she had a very strong sense of justice and thought that Aiko was a bad person because of her talent(this isn't true because Aiko used her talent for good btw). Also yeah Aiyoko(their ship name) is an Enemies to Lovers ship so enjoy for all you lovers of that trope.

[kaluawoo]

Did. Did that duel between Judai and Zweinstein make Daichi leave the Society of Light and return back to normal...? He did throw away his uniform so I guess there’s hope! (Even if it’d be kinda anticlimactic)

[branch-wdk53]

Character relationships stuff

——

Gom + Ryn

Gom considers Ryn to be her first human friend, and deems him precious to her. Gom got attached to him pretty quickly, as not only was he the first to be friendly, but also wasn’t rude or judgmental about her lack of communication/reading(?) skills. He taught her basic courtesies (like hand shaking and hand gestures) and Gom was grateful.

Ryn, in turn, finds Gom to be pleasant to be around. Despite Gom’s un-reactive nature, Ryn finds her to be quite the nice listener. He also admires Gom’s bravery towards the Abnormalities, having little to no reaction towards the beings beyond their comprehension.

While Gom and Ryn were separated by the Information and Safety Departments respectively, they actively visited each other quite a lot. For Gom, it’s because she wants to make sure Ryn is really okay. For Ryn, he believed that Hom could always use a helping hand.

They don’t interact as often as before, ever since Gom was moved to Extraction, but Ryn makes sure to give himself some time to get down there once in a while. Gom does find it somewhat strange that Ryn isn’t as bothered about Extraction compared to her other colleagues' reactions.

——

Juliet + Ramirez

Juliet dislikes Ramirez’s antics, but he doesn’t hate them. He does have enough trust in them that they won’t screw up too badly, though wished Ramirez didn’t act so reckless to begin with.

Ramirez noticed that Juliet had the tendency to think of the worst and overworking, so Ramirez started to distract him doing what he does best- being a nuisance. Despite the countless lectures and various beat ups, Ramirez is glad to see that Juliet’s attention was pulled out of his dark thoughts.

Though, Ramirez is unsure if they want to explain their intentions to him. They’re aware that Juliet's opinion on them was less than favorable, so changing how he thinks of them might turn out bad or good.

——

Samuel + Mei

One day, Mei came to Samuel with a bento box. Samuel asks what it was, with Mei replying to think of it like a lunchbox. She made extra food, and wanted him to have it. Samuel was thankful, but asked why she didn’t just give it to Tom, considering he had a bottomless stomach. She mentions that he kinda just inhales food then savors it, so she wanted to give it to someone who would really enjoy it. Having heard from Acacia that Samuel and Asuka would greatly enjoy some food. She chose Samuel, since Mei had already given plenty to Asuka, since they’re both right next to each other’s department.

Samuel thanks her again as Mei leaves. Looking down at the bento box, he thought to himself: “When was the last time I had something homemade for me?”

Later on, Mei would invite Samuel to the Safety Department’s part of the dorm. She wanted him to watch her cook, since she wanted to get to know him better. Samuel was hesitant at first, not wanting to take up both time and food just for himself. The Safety Team is like “nah”, so Samuel kinda had to accept it. Over time, as he continued to visit, Samuel and Mei would become good friends. As not only does Mei go out of her way to befriend Samuel (by way of food and quality time), but Samuel in turn gives her advice about his own personal experiences. Mei, knowing that Samuel is somewhat protective of his backstory, felt really warmed(?) by the thought of Samuel trusting her enough to include such information.

——

Juliet + Asuka

While the two did work with each other in Information, Juliet kinda left Asuka be, since he observed that she prefers to be alone. Which was partially true- her upbringing did teach her to be cautious around new faces. Just that staying on guard all the time became tiring. Slowly, her icy facade melted from Juliet’s warmth (somewhat literally in the case of Crimson Scar’s ability).

Their relationship develops further during LoR, as Asuka felt comfortable enough to talk to Juliet about her thoughts and worries about Samuel.

——

Haru + Finn

The two are kinda opposites, but at the same time fairly similar. Finn, who was betrayed, thus suppresses himself to push everyone away, yet still creates a following. Haru, who was disconnected from the masses, unable to prove her existence to those around her despite her efforts.

WhiteNight adores Finn, while hating Haru. When their sanity decreases, their EGO instincts take over, resulting in Finn becoming maniacal, as Haru becomes judgmental.

——

Finn + Reinhardt + Haru

The Arbitrator, the Eye, and the Executioner

——

Micaela/Neville + Yoonjae

Micaela and Neville first met Yoonjae during a day which had a Green Dusk. The three were ushered to the Control Department and were ordered to stay there until the Ordeal was cleared. The two were… unsettled by how Yoonjae was acting, who was speaking cryptically about the dangers in the future.

And so when Micaela and Neville were moved to Central Command Team 1 with Yoonjae and Parker, they weren’t thrilled to say the least.

——

Ryn + Gustafsson

After reuniting with his old friends, Gustafsson started feeling really terrible over how he acted towards the Cycle #3 gang. He can’t recall any particularly good interaction with them. And so, he approached Ryn. Gustafsson asks him about how he had been acting, and what he might think the others think about him.

Ryn thought for a moment, then replied, “I just thought that you weren’t great with people in the first place. While you did mostly ignore us, yeah, you didn’t really do anything outright malicious. In fact, even though you don’t actively interact with us, you still took your part in suppressions. You could’ve left us to fend for ourselves, but you still supported us. I think you’re a good person.

As for the others… I think most are neutral towards you. Not much interaction means not many opinions.”

Gustafsson wasn’t sure what to think about this. He approached Ryn in the first place, since he knew Ryn was a social butterfly, but he would’ve thought there’d at least be some negative opinions.

‘Maybe he’s too nice to say it directly to your face.’

Shaking off the thought, Gustafsson thanks Ryn and leaves.

[merryfortune]

Strange and Torrid Feelings

Written for Launch The Ship | @launchtheship

Title: Strange and Torrid Feelings

Ship: Masami/Yuriko

Fandom: Tropical Rouge Pretty Cure

Word Count: 1,566

Rating: T

Tags: Crushes

   Yuriko was very pretty. And she didn’t even need to flout the guidelines regarding makeup inside of the school’s handbook to achieve this. That impressed Masami somewhat but she didn’t know exactly what to make of it or how her heart fluttered when she mused just a touch too long on Yuriko’s outer appearance.

   Her eyes were daring and sharp, framed by long, clean lashes. Her pupils were clear but slitted, giving her an almost birdlike look, fitting of her name. Her skin was pale, flawless, born that way, Masami would think, not borne of overly harsh products. Her hair was shiny. Her uniform was perpetually neat and never wrinkled. 

   Being of firm mind and firm face, Masami prioritised heart and ethics over superficial values such as what a person looked like. She cared about how they acted, how they carried themselves, how they treated other people. To Masami, these were the core foundations of her values and her worldview. 

   She liked facts, she liked it when things were simple. Things around Yuriko were most certainly not simple. But at least the rumours had been chased away. She could take some cold comfort in that but there was clearly more going on in this school and as the leader of the disciplinary committee, it was Masami’s duty to get to the bottom of this.

   Probing the very odd and highly unusual Tropical Club was just the start but possibly, if she had deft and grace, things she worried she did not have, then maybe Yuriko might gift her with a bit more information. Surely such sharp - and even beautiful - eyes such as hers noticed something that Masami did not in her black and white vision.

   “Why would you bring up such old news?” Yuriko sighed. Irate. 

   “Apologies, I did not realise it was such a sore point.” Masami replied.

   The afternoon was quiet. Another search of the Tropical Club had proven fruitless. Whatever their eccentricity, it was eccentricity within the bounds of acceptable behaviour. Unbelievably. Honestly, their diverse and varied extracurricular studies, and their commitment to them and their lesson plans, actually ought to be admired but there was just something so… fishy about them! Masami couldn’t pinpoint it.

   But Asuka had let slip something as she, in her presidential right to dislike questions and unfairness, chased Masami off and cursed Yuriko for it. That touched a nerve, Masami sensed so, she thought she would ask Yuriko for her side of it or the reason why. Masami regretted that now as she had a bandaid on her nose for it now, at least metaphorically.

   Masami stole another look at Yuriko. How she gritted her teeth and how her eyes gaze was distant. Following her line of sight, Masami noticed that Yuriko’s gaze was now out towards the sporting fields on the school grounds. Fond but bittersweet. She looked as though she were mulling something over. Something that, if Masami had to guess, was named Asuka.

   She felt her stomach twist and knot. She disliked thinking about Yuriko thinking about Asuka but again. She couldn’t pinpoint or place why. So, she stewed in that discomfort, holding the hem of her skirt as she waited for either her brain to provide something useful to say - or for Yuriko to break the silence.

   Thankfully, she did, sighing again, “It's old news and it would be untoward of me to say that I couldn’t have behaved better in that situation. A good person displays self-awareness and thus, it would be remiss if I said I didn’t acknowledge that I was wrong to do so little but Asuka was wrong to do so much. As you would know, there are more well-written ways to behave in conflict but alas, real life isn’t always so scripted.”

   Her words were wise and Masami soaked them in. Her heart fluttered. She hung onto every word of Yuriko’s as though there were an extract from a holy book. Yuriko noticed. She smiled.

   “I think you would have done the best you could.” Masami stammered. She unintentionally stamped her foot to emphasise. The rhythm of it knocked her own heart good. Or maybe worse. That flutter seemed quicker now - and harder, like a throb. A good and proper throb.

   “I appreciate the sentiment, Kakuta.” Yuriko diplomatically replied.

   Her insincerity of the statement wounded Masami. Especially because she meant it so genuinely, from every fathom of her heart and soul. She knew what President Shiratori was like and thus, had not even the sliver of a shadow of doubt that Yuriko would flounder some problem from years ago. Masami swallowed.

   “You're welcome.” Masami murmured.

   “You're very sweet, Masami, I can assure you that but not yet.” Yuriko replied. Her voice was soft, silky, sensual. 

   She reached out and Masami flinched. She didn’t know why she flinched, nor why her eyes were watering. Yuriko was gentle as she tucked a strand of Masami’s hair behind her ear. It was pink. 

   “Very sweet, very cute.” Yuriko teased her.

   “Am not!” Masami denied. “I-I’m not cute. Someone like me is not cute.” 

   Yuriko giggled at Masami’s defence. That only made her prickle more, embarrassed her more. Her face burned red.

   “I think you're very cute, Masami, I wouldn’t lie to you. I hope you see that one day.” Yuriko replied.

   “I-I’ll work on it.” Masami earnestly replied. 

   She was flustered to be called her given name over her family name, it sounded so much more beautiful when it came from Yuriko’s lips. Her beautiful lips, painted only in a protective balm, likely not even flavoured. Masami was quick to scold herself for making such assumptions but again. Yuriko did not flout rules. She valued them deeply, just like her.

   Unable to say much more, there was still enough in what Masami had given in response. That notion glistened in Yuriko’s yellow eyes. Masami just sat there, gawking, causing a horrid and awkward tension. For her at least, she couldn’t quite tell what Yuriko was thinking as a thick sensation became a welt in Masami’s throat. Tightening it. Her stomach then twisted again. Just to make her feel worse, Masami was sure.  

   But, more pleasantly, the feeling of Yuriko’s long, slender fingers in her hair remained as well. 

   “I - I have squandered your time long enough, I think,” Masami said and she got up from the table they had been sharing, she was all a mess, flustered and off-kilt, “I better go.”

   “A shame, I do enjoy your company, Kakuta.” Yuriko lamented but she let Masami go.

   Masami stormed off. Her heart pounded, her cheeks still red hot. When she left the council’s room, it was like a weight off her shoulders and she breathed in the fresh air of the corridor. That twisting feeling was in her stomach. It all compounded on top of Yuriko’s final address unto herr as well; a return to her family name over her given name. It felt like salt rubbed into a wound - one that Masami didn’t even know she had. 

   She didn’t understand it. Any of it. She felt more confused than before she started poking her nose in places that it clearly didn’t belong.

   Masami squeezed her eyes shut. All she could think about was how Yuriko had touched her, just slightly, and how such a simple gesture was able to cause her to quake like this. Yuriko’s words, they were as wise as they were humble and amplified all of what Masami was trying to distract from as they caused a storm. Not calm like her demeanour would insinuate, they spurred such deep and wild things, like a racing heartbeat and sweaty palms and Masami just didn’t understand. 

   She felt… Excluded, truth be told. She tried to tamp down on all these awful, welling up feelings and tried to focus on the facts. There was a rumour about a mermaid and then a strange girl showed up. The Tropical Club acted strangely and the aforementioned strange girl quickly became a member of said club. Making it even stranger in Masami’s mind. Asuka is a member of the Tropical Club. She has a torrid history with Yuriko. And Yuriko… makes her feel strange. And torrid. 

   It all pent up and clumped inside of Masami’s chest. She just couldn’t work it out. The mystery which was swirling around her, evading her at every investigative look. She was missing facts, she was missing vital pieces in the very framework in which she looked at the world through and it infuriated her. To not know, to not feel like she deserved to know, even.

   A single, hot tear dribbled down the side of her face as Masami listened to her heart pound in her ears. She felt sick to her stomach, a funny sort of sickness which was more mental than physical yet stirred her up so awful. Just who was the new girl and was she connected to that absurd rumour about there being a mermaid at school? What was the incident which had caused such bad blood between Asuka and Yuriko? 

   And… And what was it about Yuriko which made her own, internal world go so topsy-turvy, so strange and torrid? Argh! Why couldn’t things be as easy as reading and executing a rulebook? Printed nice and simple in black and white. 

   Masami needed answers. Answers, she realised, she wasn’t going to get.

[tunapesto]

Wait does Susie qualify as Asuka-type character? Is Kris and Susie happens when Rei and Asuka are friends instead of rivals?

i think asuka is more of a perfectionist ish type of person. she keeps wanting to prove herself and that shes enough, that shes all grown up and capable- whereas susie is more comfortable with her inability to do some things, but still wants to come off as intimidating and scary to hide her other insecurities, or maybe shes tired of always being seen that way so she takes it into her own hands to choose how other people perceive her. asuka is a person that follows a certain set of rules and one of them is to 'be the best' and outperform everyone else because she feels like she isnt deserving of anything otherwise. susie generally stays true to herself and tries to live on her own terms regardless if that affects how other people view her as a person. however i do see where youre coming from and i love asurei being friends so kris and susie being in a similar position somewhat but actually being friends would be so cool.. i absolutely adore susie's arc of letting her guard down and actually being just herself- not the big, scary, susie, just some kid with issues finding true friendship with other people and that shell of insecurity slowly cracking away. so imagining that with the setting of eva makes me vv happy

[higuchimon]

[fanfic] Not One Or The Other

 "You're thinking about something,"  Yubel murmured, one hand going over Juudai's hair and down his shoulders.  Juudai made himself more comfortable.  Not that he was ever uncomfortable when in Yubel's arms, even when they sat like this, on cool purple grass and under a hot sun that warmed him inside and out.  He wasn't sure what world this was, but he enjoyed being here.  He would have to take pictures to show the others.

"Is it that surprising?"  Juudai wondered, closing his eyes and thinking about taking a nap.  It wasn't that Yubel was wrong, of course.  He just hadn't decided if he wanted to tell Yubel about it yet.  He knew they would understand.  But he still didn't know.

"Not really.  You think a great deal."  Yubel rested their hand on his forehead.  "But tell me what you're thinking?"

Even with their souls fused, they didn't know what the other thought about unless they said it deliberately. Yubel existed inside of him at all times, knew everything that he experienced, and he often told them what he thought. But this - well - some things he'd wanted to work through on his own.

But he'd been doing that for quite a while now.  Ever since - well -

Juudai sighed.  "I don't think I'm a guy, Yubel."  He wasn't sure of how else to say it.  It seemed strange to think about, but it also felt right. 

Yubel's hand didn't stop for a moment.  "And?"  They were quiet, listening, accepting.  Juudai would have known if they hadn't.  That was one of the benefits of their union.

"I don't feel like a woman, either,"  he admitted.  "I don't really feel like I'm either one.  Just sort of - not?"  He shrugged.  "I mean, I know I haven't changed my body at all."  If this weren't Yubel, he wasn't sure if he could have said this at all.  But he could and did tell Yubel anything, once he made up his mind that he wanted to.  "But it's just different now."

Yubel again caressed his forehead and pressed their hand against the side of his face.  "Is it because of me?"  The question was quiet and honest.  Juudai thought about it before he answered.

"I think that's kind of part of it,"  he admitted.  "I didn't start feeling this way until after we fused.  So I don't really know if it is because of that or not."

"Is it something you don't like?"  Yubel pressed ever so gently.  Juudai thought about that as well.

"That's not it.  It isn't that I don't like it.  I don't mind."  He struggled to find words for things that he'd never even thought about before.  "It's just something that I wasn't expecting.  I thought things like that didn't change."  He'd sort of been aware that wasn't always true.  The more he traveled this world and all the others, the more he learned that wasn't always true.  "I guess I just didn't think I'd change my mind on that."

Yubel didn't say anything for a while.  Juudai started to wonder if they'd gone to sleep.  Yubel didn't always sleep but it had been known to happen.  Then finally they spoke.

"You're not the only one.  I - wasn't always like this."  Yubel's free hand gestured to themselves.  Juudai blinked and tilted his head up to look at them.

"I know.  I remember you being changed."  He remembered that moment extremely clearly, whether he wanted to or not.  He'd never been fond of remembering what happened.  But he did remember that Yubel had been human before.

"That's not it."  Yubel corrected gently.  "Now I'm neither male nor female.  Or I could be both.  I don't care enough about it to give it a name.  But I wasn't like that when I was human.  At least not originally.  This was before we met one another."

Juudai wriggled around so he could give them a much better look.  That wasn't something he'd ever thought about before.  But now it fascinated him.  "You were?"  He'd never even thought about Yubel as having any given gender. Yubel always seemed above the human concepts. 

"I was.  But I don't remember which of them I was anymore.  I was still very little."  Yubel leaned back, the tips of their wings twitching gently.  "I didn't exactly wake up and decide that I wasn't one anymore.  I remember that it somewhat came over me as I got older. I'd known for about two years before we met that I wasn't like I'd been.  It was interesting."  Yubel regarded him with all of their eyes. "Are you certain?"

Juudai didn't hesitate for a second.  "Yup." He thought he might have taken this much differently if he hadn’t had all the experiences that he had. But after his years at Duel Academia, as well as learning the truth about himself as Haou, this didn’t really seem that worrisome. Just a little something to sort out.

"Was there anything else that you want to change about yourself?" 

Juudai knew what that meant - some people who decided they weren't what they thought they were changed their names or wore different clothes.  But he shook his head.  "I'm still me.  There's nothing else."

"Do you want to tell your friends?"

That was one thing that he'd not thought of yet.  He'd wondered about telling Yubel since they lived within his soul.  But everyone else - he doubted Manjoume or Ryou or Edo would care.  It wouldn't affect how he dueled.  Shou and Kenzan would probably ask if they could still call him big bro.  Asuka wouldn't care either.  Johan would probably pat him on the back and praise him for figuring himself out.  O'Brien and Jim - well, he wasn't entirely sure but he thought they would be all right with it. 

"Maybe later,"  he decided.  He had an idea of how they'd react but he wanted to get more used to it himself before he told them about it.  He settled back into Yubel's arms and they wrapped their wings over him.  He could hear Pharaoh purring near him and wondered if he should tell Professor Daitokuji about it.  The ghost was as close to him as Yubel, if in a different way.  If he did,, it would be later.  He had a lot more to think about. 

And he had a nap that he wanted to take anyway.

The End

Notes: So, Juudai deciding he’s agender after the fusion is a thought I’ve had for a while. I thought it made an excellent fill for the first day of GX Month 2021. You’ll see more effects later in the month. (Gender is overrated anyway.)