#and tbh I like this one the most. Finally found my comfort zone I guess

[lemonpiemosasaurus]

Lovebirds

[phant0m-l0rd]

thank u @minuutti for the tag <3 (finally getting around to it :D)

what book are you currently reading?

I'm still reading Moby Dick even though I started it months ago, simply because I unintentionally took a big break from it at one point (and read a few other books). also reading Agir et Penser Comme Un Chat by Stéphane Garnier and Le Voleur d'ombres by Marc Levy.

what’s your favourite movie you saw in theatres this year?

I went to the cinema a few weeks ago for the first time in over 4 or 5yrs. therefore, the only movie I've seen in theatres in all these years is the new Mario movie so that's my pick by default (it was fun though).

what do you usually wear?

jeans, shirt. + a hoodie if it's cold.

how tall are you?

175cm/5'9

what’s your star sign? do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

cancer! my 11th birthday was the day Michael Jackson passed away and I remember how depressing that was.

do you go by your name or a nickname?

just my name, it's too short to nickname. some friends try to give me nicknames but they almost always end up longer or the same length as my name lol

did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

I think so yes, I don't see how it could've gone any other way tbh!

are you in a relationship? if not, who is your crush if you have one?

no, and I do have a crush but will not reveal it publicly like that lol

what’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?

cooking vs. stress management

dogs or cats?

both are amazing but I love cats sm and desperately need one

if you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this year?

so far it has to be the most recent digital art I made of Kyo just cuz I feel like I've finally started getting the hang of digital art even though my comfort zone still lies in traditional art.

what’s something you’d like to create content for?

nothing specific, just anything I'm interested in in the moment.

what’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

this is really fkn random coming from me but. watching baseball. I've never been a sports person, never watched sports except during world cups or the olympics. but ever since a few days ago I've found a new hyperfixation I guess, completely unexpectedly and out of my control 😭

what’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

idk tbh, can't think of anything rn. I haven't been that excited for anything lately.

what’s a hidden talent of yours?

I can mimick trumpet sounds well? 😭

are you religious?

not really, I don't follow a specific religion

what’s something you wish to have at this moment?

for all my anxieties to be alleviated so I can finally live a normal life again.

tagging @ranuunculus , @cupofteaandstars (no pressure ofc) and anyone else who feels like it :D ~

[chickenlemons]

What pet would the Dangerous Fellows characters get you?

I'm including some girls because 💖Scarlette💖 is the love of my life

CW: Spoilers for the Dangerous Fellows endings

Harry - Golden Retriever

It started in the Safe Zone, a year or so after you had gotten there. After saving his dad, Harry had his headaches return quite severely. Though your comfort provided pain relief, the pain still plagued him with unbearable episodes. It's a bit of a shame that this round of searching for zombies to cure came just as one of these episodes of migraines started.

"I'll be safe out there, I promise!" You kiss Harry's forehead and leave with Edith. Edith was a friend you made in that camp, they almost reminded you of Judy...

Light conversation with Edith helped push those feelings away, with no zombies in sight to interrupt or cure. "Wait! ____, stay right where you are... I think I hear something." Edith had already stalked off before you could protest her abandoning you. "Damn it..."

Just within your sight was something small, yellow, and... Wiggly. With your real gun in hand, you slowly approach it with careful and quiet steps.

"Arf!" A tiny puppy emerged, looking up at you with large brown eyes.

Maybe this tiny guy could help Harry finally heal from resurfaced trauma...

Eugene - Duck

Tbh, he's a little salty from the claw machine joke you made a while ago

Eugene is a man of many words, and many ideas on how to get you back

However, he didn't expect a tiny duckling to be the answer to his prayer

From it's look and the fact it had been hatched near a farming supermarket, he could guess it wasn't exactly a feral duck

The little thing sure made a lot of noise for a duck, frantically quacking at him and pecking at his hands

Oh yeah, this one acted quite like you with its nagging quacks and feisty personality... He wondered how you'd react to him gifting you with a tiny duck version of his beloved

Zion - Opossum

It certainly wasn't the most convenient of pets- hell, not even domesticated

It just happened to be stealing rations from the Safe Zone's supply, and he was the one who would swiftly put an end to it

Lifting up his weapon, a pocket knife, he lowered it upon seeing its scared little eyes

He didn't have a clue WHY he would spare the giant rat, but he just kind of... scooped it up and brought it back

"Zion, what the HELL did you bring back and why?!"

"It looked so scared and filthy... I couldn't kill something that reminded me of my girlfriend!"

He may or may not have slept in a separate room that night

Ethan - Black Cat

Cats were silent

Many had either few words or too many, but one thing common with them is that Ethan was a huge cat person

Sure, dogs and baseball people are like bread and butter, but Ethan couldn't help but at least smile at the sight of a cat

That's why when a grizzled old cat with one clouded and scarred eye croaked a weak meow his way during their journey to the Safe Zone, Ethan was first to investigate

Feral cats are almost always hostile, but this old boy was way too docile with Ethan picking him up to be a feral cat

"Poor guy..." You chimed in, taking a gander at the worn out cat in his arms, "He probably had a really good home until this all started."

The cat was thinner than a toothpick, barely able to hold his own anymore

"Ethan, can we keep him?" You begged, earning a small nod from your loving boyfriend

Lawrence - Rottweiler

To be honest, he had this kind of breed planned

He had spare dog food stored alongside the normal rations just in case he ever found what he was looking for: a guard dog

After a year of keeping you, his keen eyes spotted a young Rottie pup almost succumbing to a zombie attack

Whether out of kindness or plain luck, Lawrence had mercilessly beat the zombie and towered over the little pup protectively

The young dog would make a fine addition to his "pack"

Dogs were known to not carry the human strain of the virus, which makes dogs like Rottweilers perfect for guarding and attacking

Not only was that true, he would also have a perfect companion- loyal to him, and able to win your heart to keep you in place

Judy - Bird

A blue budgie had hatched in the Safe Zone!

It was originally going to be used to test if the virus affected birds, but a stubborn and caring Judy wanted so badly to have this bird

Yes, she loves birds

After a long while of her begging the scientists behind the study, they let her keep the budgie after it had been deemed safe

You and Judy became the best bird parents after adopting Ocean (what Judy had oh so begged you to name her)

Even without a cage, Ocean stayed quite close to you both and even joined in on all the fun

Don't expect Scarlette to come near it, she'll whine and complain about bird crap in her hair

Sue - Plant

"Animals only eat the rations." She would say, always a disappointing answer to your question of if she would let you keep a pet

However, she didn't say anything about... Plants

So while she was out for a bit, you got to work and gathered some seeds to plant in makeshift pots

Sue was baffled by the cups of dirt in the room, but the tiny sprouts that emerged clued her in on what was going on

"What are we going to name them, Sue?" "...You really are desperate for something to care for. I guess a plant isn't so bad..."

After all was said and done, the names were decided for the troublesome plant trio (who really didn't have the room to be troublesome considering that they can't move)

Scarlette - Pomeranian

It took a LONG while for Scarlette to even consider dating you after what she went through

After a huge stretch of time, she took it upon herself to apologize to you and ask you out at the same time

Sure, she used to like Zion, but after being able to trust you? Her heart would leap to the moon spending any time she could with you

So, upon finding out a former Pomeranian breeder had a spare puppy, she traded a week's worth of her own ration to have as a gift for you

It took quite a bit of courage, but she couldn't go back now.

"____? I have something to tell you." Her phrasing was blunt, but her uneasy posture had you worried for her

After everything you both went through, the lies and trauma, Scarlette was ready to take the next step and present you with her confession

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Omg thank you so much for your posts about rinharu!! :"")) I was one of those people who were like "why are rinharu fighting again?? Did kyoani purposely seperate them /again/ just for the sake of drama ?? (And so that they have more oppurtunities to showcase other ships??)" I was really irked at first cuz i thought the first part of TFS is finally going to be a movie about rinharu being a powercouple, but! After reading your posts i realised that haru never really moved on from rin leaving, even in S3 the reason why hiyori's words affected him was because he thought he caused rin to leave (and by extension ikuya, but lbr haru wasn't as frustrated with ikuya nearly as much as he was with rin right) so i'm just here to say.. thank you so much for opening my eyes!!! Now i'm really looking forward to the second part!!

Awww no problem <3 tbh I've always said that free is one of those that has so many nuances left bts that it's sometimes confusing for those who aren't as invested I think. Like there's so many important things that are left out and are in additional materials, that some has no idea what's going on at times. Like back in the days when some interpreted s2 in the opposite way bc of that one thing. My point is that not everyone is even watches stuff like recaps for example (where there are in fact new easter eggs and so many important things like Rin's dad death aftermath etc), and even less read novels and checked side stories and dramas.

For example, in books this Haru's issue about him thinking he's cursed and hurts everyone with his swimming is a huge thing, when Asahi "lost his ability to swim" after seeing Haru's free. But in SD it wasn't adressed at all tbh.

And what Haru feels for Rin is such tornado of emotions, that surprised even me with all the descriptions, bc like it's real bad. Like that part I posted from the chapter when Rin leaves is at least understandable, since he leaves. But the way he reacts to him in general even when he just appears in his sight is always described as if someone tortures him for real lol. And he's always like "pls someone save me, I don't know how to deal with this, bc I've never felt such emotions before".

So basically, like yeah, he's as it is has this thing, when he thinks of himself as some bad omen, so he's very sensitive about it, but since everything Rin-related feels x100000000 for him, its just... well, it hurt for a very long time and sadly was just overlooked by a certain someone, so here we are.

I think we all at first believed that bc Rin's so shocked and in disbelief that Haru could even think that it was his fault in some way:

that maybe they talked about it bts or smth like after the relay. But it seems like Rin either forgot or most likely I think he maybe thought that Haru understood without words? I'm just real sad still that Haru didn't get to hear this speech:

I mean, they made it look by the end of s1 that it was about relay, which partially yeah, but for Rin it was really about Haru. You see what he said.. he said that that 1x02 race with Haru alone.. what made him want to swim again. This whole speech was not only about the fact that Haru wasn't at fault that he quit swimming in the first place, but about the fact that Haru is his lucky charm, that makes everything better. AND WE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO HEAR THAT. So like for Haru it's to this day like "after I messed him up, Rin was saved with the power of friendship and a relay". But he was saved by Haru really. Bc according to s3 info, it was basically just about Haru being on the relay team. I don't try to demean their friendships or anything, but its just what it is.

And as I've said before in one post it's just fascinating that to this day Rin for example thinks that s1 shananigans were just about him and just his problem:

Haru thought it was about them and their problem:

So like my point here is I also up to the end of s2 thought that maybe Rei or Rin told that to him, bc we seemed to move on to another problems, until in Kizuna we were shown that he still dreams about that scene of Rin leaving. s3 Hiyori just exposed the wound really.

But also once again see what he said there, it's not just about that one time he keeps reliving, aka his first come back, its really just about each time Rin was leaving. Like the very first one already was bad, the second was the worst, bc he thought he hurt him and thought that bc of him he quit swimming, others are just painful bc by then it was already another kind of feeling. I mean, I do think that this first Rin's return to Australia thing needs to be cleared up since it's obviously still haunting him. But again it's just part of this. Haru after the Australian trip and "I've always admired you" and "without you I have nothing to aim for" and after TYM goodbye when Rin told him that he doesn't need a surprise party and that just swimming with Haru before leaving is the greastest surprise for him, he knows already about the way Rin feels about swimming with him... I think the reason why everyone is freaking out here is that bc the way it's executed it's just really about him constantly missing him and "why am I always have to longingly watch you leave, while you seem fine." If he was in a free race, but wasn't on a relay team, he'd get the same reaction. Its just all seasons combined that brought us here. We already in 3x01 without Hiyori knew that he wasn't handling Rin being far away again good. So tbh it's logical even without any explanation really. I mean, Rin does indeed leave and come back as he pleases and does what he wants without holding back or sometimes thinking about consequences. There's no lie here.

It's like since the beginning for Rin it was like "I found the gorgeous guy I adore and I want to swim with, I'll transfer schools just to nag him into swimming with me, it's not like he's gonna care if I leave after that." (he literally in the book didn't think it was a big deal)

For Haru it was like "I lived just fine, but this guy stormed into my life, made me want things I didn't think I'd ever want, got me addicted to him and then dropped me like a hot potato".

Rin's just very passionate about life and things he wants, like Haru for example, but he's really also very unobservant and very clueless at times.

But like just bc he doesn't know about Haru's existential crisis and all the pain he's truly in when he's leaving, doesn't change the fact that he at times didn't even treat him as a simple friend (because they can't be just friends I KNOW), but still things like "you could've called" "well sorry, I guess I'm just not good at it" are probably hurtful, considering the fact that you are good at it with everyone else tho, Rin sweetie. Like thanks for avoiding us the most and holding back and visiting us the last each time, we feel real special. Haru is like the opposite, he doesn't call anyone for example, but he can call Rin in the middle of the night if needed, he always does for Rin smth that's completely out of his comfort zone.

It's like some say "Rin didn't know he wanted him to call" or "he didn't know Haru felt guilty". He did know he wanted him to call and he didn't know Haru felt guilty and stopped swimming competitively when he stopped swimming, but then Rei told him and Natsuya in 3x03 reminded him about this too. Its just the fact that he doesn't want to add 1+1 and thinks "well, there's no way I can affect Haru like that right?", "he can't be that upset about Rin Matsuoka, right?". While facts are he IS literally the only one who affects Haru in such huge way. It's like everyone else can just pass him by and it's nothing, but he walks by and it's a whole "asdfghgfdsa why my body is on fire, its just Rin who's just standing there".

And I'm also buffled by this thing that some people really say stuff like "where did this come from, they were perfectly fine" etc, as if they ever had normal "friendship" relationship. I'm like when did they ever behave themselves okay? In 3x03 Rin is dying to call Haru, but can't do it, while he's constantly texting everyone including Nagisa. First thing he says in the airport when he comes back is "I'm home, Haru" to air, but then goes to hang out with Makoto and Sousuke, desperately looking for an excuse to see the one whom he from the beginning, as it was shown wanted to see the most, but in his opinion can’t without a reason. It's only when Makoto tells him that Haru was upset about Albert he quickly rans off out of there bc "hooray, I have an excuse to see my bae”. Like we know from the airport scene that he wanted to see Haru the most. If they're so as people say were doing great, than how do you exlain all of their s2 and s3 behavior for real? It's like as if in TYM Haru didn't lose his shit from some gossip about persimmons. I mean, they never settled anything really. And Haru is constantly scared of Rin leaving again since forever.

So it's complicated, but yes, we're super excited for p2, bc asdfghjhgfds.

[galvanizedfriend]

DIRECTORS CUT WAHNOLA

It was such a long time ago I don't know what to say. 🥲🥲

It was my first Klaroline fic, and first fic in general in many years, and reading bits and pieces of it recently I was cringing a bit ashdgasjhas at some of the writing there. 🥲 But that's normal, I guess.

I wrote that before I had even watched TVD and TO from start to finish (to this day I haven't watched all of TVD lol but back then I hadn't even watched S1, and had abandoned TO in S3 and only watched Candice's episodes in S5 🤣), and so I think my understanding of the characters was a little different than what it is today. The reason why it was entirely written through Caroline's POV is because I just found Klaus IMPOSSIBLE to write. I just couldn't connect with him, couldn't find his voice, had no idea how to make him IC (it wasn't until months later and reading @definedareasofuncertainty's fics that I finally started to feel like I was figuring out how to capture Klaus). But what motivated me above everything else was my desire to just find some in-canon satisfaction after being extremely unhappy with the way TO ended. It was basically my Karen letter to the manager. 🤣 I wanted them to get together, so I thought of a moment before TO when I could make it happen and went for it. And even with all the things I think I would've changed about it nowadays, I think the whole Silas thing that gets them in a world where they're human was kinda fun tbh.

I also remember I very much wanted to put Caroline in a position where she'd have to make a choice for Klaus. Most fics I'd written up to that point had Caroline being rescued, or helped, or something like that, by Klaus, which then made her realize and accept her feelings for him. I know now there are many fics that aren't like that, but I had literally JUST joined fandom then, so. And I wanted something different. I wanted Klaus, all mighty and proud and completely clueless when it came to asking for help or even showing an inkling of vulnerability, being useless, and Caroline being the one who could do something for him. Obviously, they connect and many things happen between them during that ~~journey, but then Caroline has to decide to help Klaus, even going against her friends, and eventually she is the one who is pushed out of her comfort zone and has to face her feelings for him.

Anyway. 🤣 I really liked their goodbye scene in that story! When Klaus shows up at the Lockwood manor after Tyler leaves and tells her he's leaving. Also the scene where she's trying on the dress and they have a ~~moment. Those were my favorite scenes.

Thank you for your ask, patootie!! ✨

[sunflowersseemhappy]

Can we have soft ones of the main 6 crying then mc comes to gently kiss away all their tears before asking what's wrong?

So. Here. We. Go! Tbh I can perfectly relate to wanting to cry atm, but at least I have some lovely requests to fill up my time! I hope you enjoy!

REQUESTS OPEN and here is my Masterlist!

Asra

Strange, you can’t find Asra anywhere.

Maybe once upon a time it would have been normal but its been a long time since he just disappeared without telling you.

So despite the supplies in need of stacking on the shelves you look everywhere for him; behind the counter and in between the shelves.

You’re just about to make your way up the stairs stopping as you draw past the reading room.

Someone sniffles behind the curtain, almost bemused you swipe it back half expecting Asra to jump out to scare you with his sly fox-like smirk.

Its empty, you could have sworn...

Another sniffle, from under the table. The purple cloth flutters slightly as you crouch down with a roll of your eyes, pulling back the cloth.

“Haha Asra very funny, come out-” Asra’s jumps from within the shadows, his head cracking against the underside of the table with a dull thud.

How did you manage to surprise him? Surely he knew you were there?

But then you notice the reason he’s hiding when you look at his face; ruddy and tear-stained, his eyelashes have droplets of water on them and he’s curled up against his knees hugging them to his chest.

Without thinking you crawl on your hands and knees toward him, placing your hands on his knees and pushing them down so you can sit facing him in his lap.

You don’t say anything else as you wrap your arms around his neck, you don’t need to, but Asra seems unsure as his arms wrap around your waist and he buries his face into your neck letting out a broken sob.

The tears run down your collarbone as you massage a hand against his scalp, whenever Asra cries your heart aches, this time is no different.

You pull back slightly and caress his jaw with your hand, stroking his ear and the side of his face, wiping tears away with your thumb as his cautious eyes gaze up into your face.

You hold his gaze steady before kissing his chin, trailing your lips to the corners of his mouth and to his nose where a stray tear is hanging of it, then along his cheeks and finally planting gentle fluttering kisses to his eyelids.

The kisses themselves melt the tenseness in his shoulders and hush his broken, choked sobs as he calms. Arms still hugging your waist as you tenderly stroke his hair from his face and ask what’s wrong.

He shows you the letter he found. The letter he left for you before the plague, bringing back all those horrible, sad memories.

He cries a bit more but it’s okay, you’re here to wipe them away.

Nadia

Nadia is back an hour earlier than you expected her to be.

Whisking into the bedchambers without even glancing in your direction and closing the door with a shaky sigh.

Her back is turned to you, her palms splayed against the door and leaning heavily onto the wood. Her breathing seems ragged.

“Everything okay? You’re back early.”

The meeting she was in must have gone quicker than Nadia had expected, but her body language looks all off as she straightens stiffly at the sound of your voice.

Clearly she hadn’t expected you to be here yet either, the sound of your voice usually made her dementor change but instead of a relaxing slouch in her shoulders she seems... tense.

Not even looking your way, she stands stock still at the door. If you didn’t know any better you’d say she was thinking about going right back out that door with our even acknowledging you.

“Nadi?” You stand and walk softly over to Nadia, placing a hand on her shoulder and beckoning her to turn and face you. Her hesitation is noticeable as she gives pause before turning to you gaze.

Her lips are trembling, prompting her to bite down on her bottom lip to quell it as she takes a few deep unsteady breaths, sweeping her eyes upwards so that the tears pooling in the corner of her eyes don’t make it down her face.

But a few are already tracing lines down her face, dripping from her chin, you can tell she’s doing all she can to hold them back.

It’s so rare to see her cry that you are taken aback, whatever could have caused her such upset? Especially something she seems to want to hide from you?

It doesn’t matter right now though.

Sliding your hands into hers you lead Nadia slowly to the chair at the vanity, not saying anything as she sits down on the cushioned seat you kneel before her comfortingly stroking her hands as the tears begin to freely drip down her face.

She cries quieter than most you’ve noticed, for reasons you can only guess but all you can do is comfort her as her head droops down and her hair becomes a curtain hiding her face.

Leaning up you stroke it out of the way and nuzzle against her face, kissing across her cheeks and bridge of her nose. You gently slide the ornaments from her hair and take off the other pieces of jewellery, taking the damp cloth from a bowl of water you dab away the tear-stains and the makeup as her sniffles subside.

When she finally gathers the strength to look in your eyes Nadia’s lips tilt slightly and you lean in to give her a final kiss on the lips, soothing the place where she bit down on her lips.

When you ask her what’s wrong Nadia gives you a small sigh, “I worried too much about what strangers thought of me, when really the only person’s opinion I care for is yours.”

Her words make your chest warm, if you’re being honest it’s a nice that she trusts you above all others.

Julian

Its odd how quiet Julian is that evening.

Seeing as he’s almost always under your feet with his chatter and charm the silence has thrown you through a loop.

You’re just about to ask him what’s going on when you feel his chest press against your back, his hands hugging your arms to your side as he nestles his chin atop your head.

Odd but not entirely un-Julian-like.

That is until you hear a long shaky sigh from him and feel drops of water tickling your scalp, one falls on your nose and then to your lips. The salty tang is not unfamiliar.

“Julian... are you crying?” His arms tighten around you as Julian makes a small sound in the back of his throat, but it rumbles against your skull as he presses his face into your hair.

Despite your concern, the fact that he’s crying into your hair is enough to make you fight gently against the hold he has on you so that you can turn around.

He still hugs you close, but now you can see he is indeed crying. Pale face flushed red around his eyes and tears rolling down his cheeks and off his chin and nose. His eyes are squeezed shut as he buries his face in your hair again, almost as if he wants to escape into it.

You let him hug you awhile longer as his sobs subside and his grip around you loosens more, tugging him to the bed you quickly slide off his boots and lay down with him.

Stroking his face with a gentle trailing finger as he clutches you against him, the flutter of his heart is almost audible as you are sidled up to his chest and his forehead is hot to the touch.

You start to think he’s ill, but that doesn’t seem entirely right.

He just seems... sad.

Julian mumbles a hushed “sorry” against you, hiccupping back as he chokes the word out. You shake your head slowly, it’s not at all his fault.

And you say as much more with your touch than anything else, sliding your hands against his neck and cupping his jaw with them. You run your thumbs lightly over his lip before pecking him on the lips, he smiles slightly so you continue. Kissing away the stray tears on his chin and his nose, brushing your lips over his cheeks and finally planting a longer kiss against his lips.

He uses his whole body to embrace you after that as you ask him what was wrong, although reluctant Julian relents, clearing his throat as a flush of embarrassment rushes to his cheeks.

“I just got a bit stuck in my head m’dear,” usually that means he’s been overthinking, that’s okay you missed hearing his voice.

You both talk for hours that night.

Muriel

You’re well aware of Muriel’s nightmares by now.

So when his thrashing wakes you in the middle of the night you’re on autopilot, kneeling up on the bed and stroking his brow as you shush his panicked breaths.

Anything else and he may accidently club you with his fists, he’s told you as much, but tonight seems particularly bad.

Making a split second decision you decide to wake him, you know you shouldn’t but he looks terrified in his sleep, eyes screwed up, hair messy and chest heaving.

All of a sudden he jolts awake, despite the darkness you can see the shock in the eyes of your mountain man. Leaning over his lap with ragged breathing, fists curled tight in the sheets.

When you gently call his name Muriel jumps slightly turning to you and his usually stoic face is already streaked with tears, wild beautiful eyes zoned in on you as he remembers where he is and who you are.

Muriel lets out a sharp breath, maybe of relief or some other emotion as you sidle up next to him and place your hand on his and lean against his shoulder in solidarity.

You feel a new wave of sobbing shake through his body at this, nevertheless you convince him to lay back down as he softly cries. You’re just about to lie next to him when Muriel pulls you flush against his chest so that you are lying on top of him.

Slowly you card your hand through his hair and out of his face where it is plastered against his wet cheeks, taking in his trembling lips and the crease of his brow you can only lull him quietly back to a state of exhaustion from the late hour and the crying.

When he’s exhausted himself Muriel seems embarrassed but still holds you close, not wanting to let go.

As if it’s the most normal thing in the world you nuzzle your face against his, feeling the wetness of his tears on the stubble of his chin but not really caring as your lips kiss the corner of his eyes. Muriel closes them and leaves them closed as you kiss away the tears on his cheeks and then sooth his trembling lips with your own, long and languid as his breathing slows.

Job done you caress his face with your hand, trailing the scar on his jaw as you ask him about the nightmare and what’s wrong.

He almost shakes his head but thinking better of it Muriel simply says, “I lost you, I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to be alone again.”

One day you hope his nightmares will plague him no more, but you’ll never let him be alone either way.

Portia

When you come back to the cottage you find Portia on the swing seat under the wisteria.

You can’t blame her, it is a beautiful evening but as you approach you can see her head is buried in her hands even as Pepi tries and fails to get pets by winding in the young woman’s lap.

Portia startles at your footsteps, seeming to quickly swipe away her tears so that you don’t notice, too late for that but you stay silent. Clearly she doesn’t want to talk about it just yet.

Plonking yourself down next to Portia on the swing, it sways under the two of you as you place an arm over Portia’s shoulder and she nestles into your touch with a shaky sigh.

Wrapping your hand in some of her curls you snuggle her back as she cries softly, even from the side you can see the flashing red of her cheeks as they glisten from the tears and the evening sun.

It takes a long while for the tears to subside, long enough that the sun sets and the fireflies dance around the garden in the evening air, plucking a bunch of wisteria from above you tuck it back behind her ear prompting a small teary smile.

Turning to face you, you place a gentle kiss against her cheek, salty tang prompting you to kiss her tears away as she giggles despite the thick feeling in her throat. Smirking you pepper her face with kisses, so many that instead of crying more tears Portia laughs.

Tucking her curls behind her ears you tickle her cheeks as your fingers brush over them, Portia nuzzling into your hands as you do so and placing her hands over yours to press them against her skin.

With a tilted smile and a soft tone you ask her what’s wrong, she gives you a semi-shrug and frowns to herself.

“It’s just a bunch of small things, really, ya’know? Dropping you favourite mug, doing something embarrassing, accidently stepping on Pepi’s little paw....”

You laugh a tiny bit in sympathy, but you know what Portia means. You’ve had a few of those day’s, but sometimes it helps to cry over them.

Lucio

If you didn’t know any better you’d say Lucio was avoiding you.

Its so unlike him that you’ve put off everything that afternoon to search the place for him, but being such a big place like the palace it’s next to impossible to find someone.

Fortunately you know two hunting dogs who will take any bribe to find their master for you, although leading you to a broom closet wasn’t entirely what you expected.

But the sniffling coming form inside is enough prompting for you to open the door and peer down at Lucio sitting on the floor with a blanket over his head, rolling your eyes you enter and sit next to him closing the door as the sniffles pause for a moment.

Tugging the blanket off Lucio’s head your eyes widen, not only at his mussed up hair or the dust from the clearly dirty blanket but at his face where the dust has plastered itself to his damp cheeks and tears have smudged his makeup.

Red faced he tries to tug the blanket back over his head but you remain firm and keep it down cocking your head with a questioning look.

It’s okay for him to cry around you, but he seems adamant to hide from your stare.

Wordlessly you use the sleeve of your shirt to dab at his cheeks wiping away the dust and make up, your kindness only seems to serve more weight on Lucio’s mind as he begins sobbing loudly trying to muffle them with a hand.

But when that does not seem to work you gently tug his chin toward your face and plant a long lingering kiss against his trembling lips, Lucio gulps slightly but returns it all the same.

His cries turn to sniffles once more and as they subside you massage your hands against his shoulders, planting further kisses to his cheekbones and nose and with certain finality you brush your palms over his face and give him an endearing look as you ask him what’s wrong.

“I don’t think... I deserve you.” It seems hard for Lucio to admit, and it definitely rises an eyebrow on your part.

But maybe him believing that is what makes him deserve you.

[sunball]

Hi💫💓. I have a confession to make. Nothing too serious tbh. This is going to be lengthy. I created a Tumblr acc a while ago but, I was never active on it. I preferred to guest browse, you know. I would lurk around in the tags and read stuff. But, I never actually interacted with the posts. Ever. One day, I was doing the same thing and, I came across your blog. I LOVED reading your posts. You came across as an authentic and outspoken person to me. Your blog's aesthetic stood out to me. I could see that it was an expression of yourself. I could see the effort you put into it. I kept coming back to your blog and ended up finding some other wonderful blogs through it. After a while, I ended up traveling. I didn't have data or WiFi access at the time so, I couldn't read any of your posts. When I returned, I couldn't find your blog for some reason. I low-key freaked out. I am not sure how to explain this to you but, I have ALWAYS struggled with communication. It made me SO anxious to the point that I couldn't even imagine being on social media. People say that interacting with others on the Internet is much easier than face-to-face communication but, to me, it's all the same. At the end of the day, I am always wondering "Was I rude?", " Did I even make any sense?", "What are they going to think of me?". It is such an irrational fear but, I can't help it. After coming across your blog, I decided to check my natal chart, and lo and behold, I have Saturn in the 3rd. After finding out that you had the same placement, it gave me some kind of hope? That may be, someday, I would be able to express my thoughts just like you do. I really respect the efforts you put into your blog. I admire you for that. I really do. Okay, let's go back to the story. I eventually ended up finding your blog. I made up my mind to finally tell you that I loved your blog. I think I send you an ask. I think. But I decided to redo it cause' I felt like the first one didn't do justice. So here I am. I don't know if you will ever actually read this. Even now, while writing this, I am freaking out! I know I am anonymous but, my anxiety doesn't give an f. I want you to know that you are doing great. There are lots of people out there who appreciate what you do, and I am one of them. I hope you rise amongst all perils and achieve all your dreams. Thank you for being yourself. 💛💛💛

Hold up, I was supposed to make a confession, right? Okay so, I used to hang around with a cockroach as a kid. Let's call it bestie. Feels weird to say it, but bestie was actually well behaved? I used to sing songs for it and stuff. Our friendship lasted for a grand total of two days. Bestie was a great roach. Best of all?? It didn't fly. Yap, that's it. I don't know if you will read this but thanks for listening.

omg anon🥺🥺 I’m speechless aahhh aakdhjdg this means SO much to me. you made my day. you made me smile and tear up wow. thank you so much for taking your time to write this. im feelin super special rn hehehe just reading your words makes me feel appreciated 😭 I’m guessing you found my blog when my URL was ilyneptune? I was shadowbanned so that’s why you couldn’t find my blog, SORRY ABOUT THATTTT! I’m glad we found eachother again though :D

I totally get what you mean about the communication part, as a child I was really quiet and did not talk to my family or my friends much. at school I was the most awkward person and was labelled as stupid because whenever I got picked on to answer questions, I would just stutter and answer something stupid 😭 just speaking makes me feel like choking even if it’s just a simple hi. I also used to not like talking online too, I would leave messages unread and ignore them for weeks and I absolutely hated calls (I still do). I also take hours to write a paragraph. saturn in 3rd house things I suppose 😔 but actually, this year my communication got so much better. I stepped out of my comfort zone and made this blog. not so sure what made me do it but I’m glad I did it anyway. now I’m arguing with people in comment sections and I’m not afraid of being wrong anymore. I guess I just accepted that I’m not perfect and that I’m bound to make mistakes and that everyone is here for the same reason - to learn. would me saying something wrong make me a fool? or would the person laughing at me for being wrong and not asking questions be the fool instead? I actually have 2 quotes on my wall, “speak your mind even if your voice shakes” and “he who asks a question is a fool for a minute, he who does not ask is a fool for life”. those quotes are very important to me and pretty much changed my life :B my dad also helped me ig, he’s kinda cold lol but he told me that people actually don’t give a fuck about your mistakes, they don’t notice the things you notice like your crooked teeth, the way you eat, how you stuttered 3 times or how you messed up your presentation. why? people have their own insecurities and their own life to think about, they’re probably thinking of the exact same thing like “omg did they notice that I accidentally spat when I talked?”. so yeah that helped me too.

I believe that you can overcome these fears! I mean, you’re already doing it by writing this to me :D (which brought me to tears lol). If an awkward bean who barely spoke at school (aka me) can do it, so can you! I believe in you anon ((: it’s okay to be anon I understand! I appreciate you writing this to me (for the 2nd time KAHDH I’m sorry I didn’t get your last ask 😭). but anywaysss I’ll still be here for the day you express your thoughts (and imma listen hehe) I’m a sucker for thaaatttt, hearing people’s thoughts and opinions. I think it’s super fascinating how people think differently and how people can come up with different ideas. makes me just wanna take a look inside their mind KAHDJDH.

okay wth a cockroach HAHSGDGD AND WHY IS THAT WEIRDLY CUTE??? why am I aww-ing at a cockroach I don’t get it AHAHAAH AND YOU SANG TO IT?? WELL BEHAVED??? I’m chuckling here 😭😭 that’s so wholesome. so cuteeee😔 bestie will forever be missed <33

thank YOU anon. I hope you are doing well! I hope to see you againnn 🥺

[dancingstarsbornfromchaos]

Fanfic writer asks: 2, 12, 18, 32, 38

[these were fun! Now I’m off to the other list XD]

Fanfic Writer Asks

2. What character(s) do you find the most difficult to write for? Why?

This won’t shock much the people who know me at least a little, but the characters I find the most difficult to write are happy, good-natured characters. In part is for a personal lack of interest towards that sort of characters, in part it’s because I just can’t relate to them.

In general, if a character doesn’t have some sort of inner conflict or doesn’t have more than a few layers, I have some trouble writing them for the mere fact that they are unable to hold my interest for long enough, but with that sort of good guys...I really struggle. Their psychology is kind of linear, so it shouldn’t be that hard, but...I just find no motivation or satisfaction in trying to wrap my head around them, so I’m always kinda at loss whenever I find myself in the position of having to build up a character like that, even just for a small role. They always come out extremely stereotyped and that makes me like them even less.

I’m not a happy or optimistic person, I don’t believe in happiness or optimism in general...and I have little idea of how a truly mentally sane person is supposed to feel. I know that one of the challenges of a writer is to get out of your comfort zone and try to write stuff that doesn’t vibe with you, but...I’d pick a one-dimensional villain to do that over one of the good guys any day.

12. Who is your favourite author?

I’ve been giving the same answer to this question for literal years, even if I don’t know if it’s still true. I haven’t read a book from a new author in ages, and the ones I think about whenever someone asks me this question...I haven’t touched them for even longer.

One day I’ll start reading again as much as I used to, but for now, I’m gonna list the same names for the umpteenth time: Eoin Colfer, Licia Troisi, Neil Gaiman.

18. Do you prefer editing as you write, or waiting until it’s finished?

It depends on how much time to write I have at hand, tbh. Usually, if I have several hours together, I prefer writing until I’m done with whatever piece I’m working on and edit it only once it’s completed, or I’ve at least written down a good chunk of it.

Most of the times, however, I find myself with just one or two hours at hand, so I have to write the chapter or the one-shot I’m working on in more than one session. In that case, I usually re-read the part I already wrote to get my inspiration back, and I exploit it also to edit and review it. It’s not always ideal, because I end up with even less time to add stuff to it, but it spares me the trouble of having to re-read the whole thing before posting it when I finally manage to get at them bottom of it.

32. What story do you think showcases your signature style the most?

I took a few minutes to think about this one (and to scroll through the list of my published stuff too >.>), but the one story that popped in my head as soon as I read the question is definitely the right answer. Namely, the ST:TNG fic I wrote a couple of years ago.

It’s not the story I had more fun writing and it’s not even my personal favourite, but it came out pretty well, objectively speaking, and I think that it holds almost all the traits that can be found in my writing. Lots of introspection, good descriptions with metaphors and just a touch of oddities, character study, decent dialogues, additional lore and theories about parts of the fandom I’m writing for.

I guess this are all elements that can be found in my IZ fic too, but I’m not choosing that one ‘cause it’s still unfinished and...that alone doesn’t exactly say flattering thing about the kind of writer I can be at times ^^” Scotty and coherence live in different galaxies at times xD

38. What story of yours are you surprised that people liked as much as they did?

Honestly? Every single story of mine that gets more than the minimal level of interest leaves me surprised.

I’m not a popular writer, I’ve never been and I’ll never be. That’s something I’ve made peace with. I don’t produce a lot and I guess that most of the stuff I write either doesn’t reach the right level of quality or simply isn’t the sort of stuff most people are interested in reading. I suck at reading the “market” and, especially, I don’t care much about doing it.

So, whenever one of my works capture the audience’s interest...well, it always catches me off guard (mostly in a good way, but it also comes with a shit tone of performance anxiety, which kinda ruins the whole thing). From where I stand, most of what I write is trash on fire or almost. People proving me wrong will always surprise me. That’s a physical rule in my little universe.

[aprito]

hello <3 since i got these asks at the same time i decided to combine my thoughts on them in this post. yet another annoying sjw essay from yours truly on this blog 

before i get into these i think i need to preface why im like. i guess overly hyperfocused on a certain unproblematic base (same age au / platonic canon) for them and avoid the ped0philic content like the plague lol

tw for pedophilia ment, rape ment if that makes you squicky. ALSO THIS IS LONG AND RAMBLY

as i’ve mentioned a couple times already, ive been into the ship since i was 12, back when it was very very common to not only post untagged (nsfw) canonverse content of the two in writing and in drawing but also non con and the like, so you can imagine how bad my first impression online was. thinking back on it ...as a child i found it disturbing but didnt really register how problematic it really was?? (i know, but i also lived in the middle of nowhere and had no one explain this to me) 

skip to 2014 aka me coming back to naruto at 17ish and i had kinda become hyper aware of the fact that there was an increasing amount of people online who had come forward with explaining how fictional problematic content, mostly pedophilia, had been used to groom them into starting relationships with adullts. it was also a time where a lot of people didnt believe these victims, not registering how common it was for minors to be online friends with adults who had no boundaries and no qualms exposing them such content. not gonna get into my personal life here but i was lucky to not having gone through this myself. like... it kinda was my first time truly realising how fiction can EASILY be used to manipulate others irl (and yes i will not argue this, if you dont think fictional media can form and manipulate people’s opinions on attitudes, countries, cultures and virtues, pick up a book about the effects of propaganda media at least once please) 

i, being young, still liking the dynamic but not really the romance, would point this out here and there in the fandom and get into fights with grown adults in their mid 20s who assumed i automatically hated the ship(s) and tried to restrict their freedom of speech or whatever, heard everything from the “age of consent doesnt exist in naruto” to the “sasori looks like a child what does it matter” despite people clearly playing on him being older and experienced. it made me so upset that people were just consuming all this content uncritically and exposing children to it tbh?? not really just sos but a lot of minor/adult ships in naruto in general. and thats where i sat down and thought, i do not want to be a grown adult talking down to children that point out how unsafe the fandom is. theyre absolutely right in drawing these boundaries and calling out adults who defend the uncritical consumption and creation of this content. i do not want to consume or create content that predators could use to groom minors, and i absolutely do want to let younger people in fandom know that i am respecting their comfort zones and want them to have a safe and fun experience. after all, naruto is not an adult show and i think a lot of people forget that!!!! i am not perfect in that regard but its something that i, at the age of 23, am very passionate about and strive towards to.

and i guess thats where same age au was born for me and i have been sticking to it ever since. 

so finally we can move to the first question 

aside from the fact that we both dont like canon sos, i dont think it would work out even if i wasnt prejudiced to it anyways. in all honesty, 35 year old canon sasori is not a redeemable character to me, given the fact that he’s easily amongst the cruelest villains in naruto (torturing and killing and taxiderming people for his own fun personal gain, never for a goal that served anyone but himself. how do you redeem having over 300 corpses in your backpack that you felt absolutely no remorse for killing). sasori was legit one of the only cruel villains that didnt had someone else pull the strings, which sends a clear message on kishi’s part, who absolutely loves to redeem villains LOL.

being that old, he obviously had already been very manifested in what he believed in, even if it was shakey, to the point where the first crack in that world view (sakura and chiyo protecting each other) immediately had him give up on his life all together. that, in my opinion, is not a man who’s going to know what healthy relationships would look like, regardless of it being romantic or not. 35 year old sasori to me has the same appeal as an expired can of tuna and he’s probably very happy 6 feet under. he’s supposed to be a failed gaara in that sense that he had no one to look out for him and therefore was never going to experience anything but a bad ending in life. its fine that hes dead honestly, it wraps up his short character development the best IMO.

adding to that, seriously, sakura was obviously interested in knowing why he was that way, and called him out for being seriously fucked in the head, but it’s weird to me that people assume she had any interest in actively rehabilitating him, let alone starting a serious romantic relationship with him. sakura who’s not only very, uhm, immature and straight forward when it comes to her romantic viewpoints also, as a big bootlicker, wouldnt soil her standing in the village by starting anything with a disgraced and far too gone criminal like sasori. shipping that version of sasori with sakura intimately is still going to set her up for a huge power imbalance that would be difficult to handle imo, even if she was the one in the fight ultimately exerting her power over him. i would still look at it and think damn she deserves better than having to play therapist for man like that lol.

additionally, even if you ignored all of this, you cant really ignore that sasori had already known her as a child, and that had been his first and most impactful impression of her. i dont think that sasori would look at 35 year old sakura and see her as a grown woman and not the little green girl she was in the fight. plus, you easily fall into predatory comparison territory between the “childish” and “womanly” and i have seen way too often in fic just being boiled down to her now being fuckable. a lot of of ships do this and i would just like to remind yall thats it not normal for adults to want to start relationships with children they have seen grown up or known as a child when they themselves were fully grown adults. therefore, maybe if sakura hadnt met sasori before it would be less of a problem? but that also obviously defeats the point of the dynamic and the reason he died in the first place. so yeah, it sounds kind of doomed especially if you were to make it romantic. 

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE SECOND QUESTION

let me preface this that im not fundamentally against age gaps, even if im not super interested in it. after all, colorblind had a 5 yr age gap (with sakura being 21), even if, say, i wrote similar fics today i probably would make it smaller lol. i think it can be handled well if both parties have enough life experience to deal with it, and the author is cautious of where the age gap starts, i think a 10+ year age gap would be fine in a scenario where the younger party (i guess sakura) was at least 25-27ish, meaning she has completed most of her most formative life stages and probably had been in relationships before, meaning she would be able to handle it without having to fear a huge power imbalance. the older the younger party is the less the age gap is going to matter tbh .TsukiHoshino and AngelOfDeath10 both handle age gaps in their fics really well imo, so i do not mind reading about them.

unfortunately, a lot of people in this fandom think making sakura barely "”””legal””””” (18, not even 20 which is hilarious to me because the source material is obviously japanese) because they both cannot stand her being past her “prime years” of being young fertile and fuckable to much older men as well as thinking a 20 year old is automatically old enough to handle that type of relationship. ive seen a lot of unironic takes that believe it will absolve them of callout posts if they throw around age of consent and “shes 18 now suckers!!!” enough lmfao. absolutely hilarious. aging a minor up without aging the adult down seriously reeks of predatory “cant wait until youre 18″ narratives and thats why i find it similarly disturbing as straight up pedo shipping.

ultimately, sasosaku is and will always be a inherently problematic ship in canon, which is why i think it should always be handled a little more responsibly in fandom spaces, ignoring or outright excusing the main problem factor, which is sasori, isnt going to convince anyone that the dynamic in itself is well written and interesting enough to explore in aus, like giving sasori the redemption most of us wanted him to have by aging him down to a point in time where he was still realistically going to allow being positively influenced, similar to gaara. 

so really, what i think is well handled age gap and how most people handle age gap in the naruto fandom are two different worlds at times lol 

tl;dr

canon shippers have never been anything but gross when i was younger and i didnt wanna be like that, even if youre “smart”enough to differenate, actual creeps dont really care and might use your content to blur the lines, sasori isnt rly redeemable so romantic canonverse realistically wouldnt make much sense and is still iffy, age gaps are fine if they are handled well, but given that the dynamic doesnt really need the age gap to still work im not that invested on making that an essential part of my shipping experience.  

thank you for reading and hope this makes sense!

[ladykateofledfordpark]

A Friendly Date (Ethan x MC)

This entry is for Day 4 of the Choices August Challenge hosted by @cora-nova!

So another Ethan fic! This one is purely to celebrate a month since I started talking with the amazing @lady-kato! She is seriously one of the most amazing people on this site and one of my best friends here! =D

Thank you, @mariaoz for helping me with this fic! ^-^

Tagging also @jlpplays1 @itsbrindleybinch @desiree-0816 @a-i-n-a-a-s-h @yesimacerealkiller @rookie-ramsey and @meepmeepmeep! You’re all amazing!

Okay, so this takes place after the hearing. I don’t feel as comfortable writing in this time zone, since Ethan’s relationship with MC does vary, but this is in the friend-zoning reality. ^-^

Tbh I don’t feel confident about this fic at all, but I already wrote it, so... xD

Day 4 Prompt: Cuisine

Pairing: Ethan x MC (ish)- from Ethan’s side only

Summary: Leah goes out to celebrate with a friend, but things become a bit awkward after she meets Ethan.

Unedited.

----------

Leah nervously fidgeted in place. She was unsure whether her current outfit was meant for the fancy restaurant Bryce insisted on taking her to, but she hoped it was fine. Sienna did say it brought out her eyes, and a sparkly red cocktail dress seemed fine to her.

She sighed. Did she really belong here?

"Reservations," a bored voice inquired once she reached the stand. Leah hesitantly gave Bryce's name before one of the workers led her to an empty place.

Leah knew she was early. She couldn't be late to such a stuck-up place for fear of being locked out, but now…

She looked around. Many people sat in fancy clothing, some busy speaking on their phones while others sat as couples sharing a romantic meal. Leah shifted nervously. Was this really the right place for Bryce to take her, when in reality they were simply friends?

A low voice drifted over from the nearby tables. It was cold, proud and formal. Leah turned to the speaker, and a smile rose to her face when she saw who it was.

“I’m sorry, but I’ll have to decline,” Ethan Ramsey declared. He pushed a packet of papers back to the man across him, who gaped at him as if he never met someone like Dr. Ramsey. Leah couldn't blame him. Her mentor was special.

The desperate man straightened in his seat. He swallowed, desperately searching for anything that would convince the world-renowned doctor. He opened his mouth, thought better of it, and then cleared his throat. “Excuse me, but duty calls. Goodbye.”

Ethan nodded. The man hurriedly gathered his belongings before he ran off. Ramsey watched him with a slight smirk before he turned his attention back to the food on his plate. The only thing better than Italian cuisine was food that bled insurance companies dry. Luckily, this dish was both.

Just as he was about to resume eating, Ethan felt a weight of a familiar gaze on him. He raised his head, and his heart jumped when he met Leah’s eyes. The red of her dress made the twinkle of them even stronger, their emerald color more beautiful than any gem he could have found.

He swallowed. Why, out of everyone, did he have to fall for her?

Leah smiled when she finally caught his attention. She sat in the empty seat across from him, ignoring the food on the plate in front of her. “Hello, Dr. Ramsey,” she said as she carefully smoothed out her dress.

“Hello, Dr. Bennett.”

Leah smiled. “What are you doing here?”

“I had a meeting with another insurance agent.” He smiled somewhat mischievously, but his smile weakened when his eyes fell once again on her.

Leah laughed. “Of course. I should have known.” She chuckled when she saw the barely touched food in front of her.

Ethan cleared his throat. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Leah blushed. She didn’t meet his gaze as she fiddled with the tablecloth. It may have been only a few days since they returned to be mentor and intern, but with everything that happened before then things were still quite strange.

“I’m meeting someone here. He… he insisted. As celebration for the verdict.”

Ethan swallowed. “Of course.”

It was clear who she was meeting here. A lucky co-worker, one she clearly had real feelings for. If Ethan was in any other position, being with Leah wouldn’t have been such a problem. However, with her current internship and the way she made her feelings perfectly clear, Ethan had to watch from afar.

Ethan cleared his throat. “Well, this is a good place to go to on dates. The food is very...”

“Do you have any experience?” Leah asked. Her voice shook slightly, as if she was just as nervous as him.

Ramsey nodded. “Some.” He hesitantly opened his mouth. “Rookie, I wanted to let you know that-”

“Hello, Dr. Ramsey. What are you doing with my beautiful date?”

Leah jumped when Bryce spoke, but a laugh overtook her once she saw him. “Bryce, why did you have to scare me like that?”

He winked. “If I didn’t know better, I would’ve guessed that you’re already on a date.”

Leah blushed. “This isn’t a date, Bryce! I told you already how I feel about Dr. Ramsey!”

For a moment, the happiness in Bryce’s eyes disappeared. His gaze fell on Ethan, more solemn and serious than Ethan ever saw. 

Eventually, after a long inspection, he nodded. “Fine.” Once he turned back to Leah, his smile once again covered his face. “Shall we start our celebration, then?”

She laughed. “Of course!”

Leah didn’t look at Ethan as she pushed her chair back. She took Bryce’s arm in a show of manners before her date gently led her back to their table.

Ethan sighed. He looked back to the cold food which just lay on his plate. His appetite now forgotten, he forcefully got up and walked out. Somehow he managed to look anywhere but Leah and Dr. Lahela, though her laughter burnt his skin more than he ever thought possible.

If only it didn’t have to end this way. If only she cared for him as he did for her. If only he could win her over the same way Lahela did. 

If only he didn’t feel so alone.

[alo-piss-trancy]

Hello, you have been identified as An Awesome Writer™! Congrats, you rock! So that all of your readers can shower you with some extra love today, please tell us your favorite five (or as many as you want) stories of yours and why you like them and then send this to another five fic authors you think deserve this title! ❤

Gee, I wonder who this could be from? c; (Thank you so much I love you!)

Okay so I’m doing seven because as you all know from my zillion ships and characters I’ve written for/screamed about, I’m incapable of picking a specific favourite lmao. But it’s still less than half my fics so it’s fine. Also none of these are ranked, I enjoyed them all equally tbh. (Forgive my lack of heart emojis RIP, I’m on desktop for this one)The Troubles Rain Can Bring (Pers/ona 5) : Of course I have to bring this one up, since it’s the one I consider my first legit omo fic (Jade was my first foray, but since it’s unfinished and I picked a dead fandom specifically so I had less chances of getting mean comments, I consider it more of a practice run). This was my first time writing for a very active and current fandom, so it was really intimidating, but I was also really excited to participate in creating for a game I was so passionate about! Also that fic was just a total labour of self-indulgence and love (excuse for fluff with my otp? combining all my fav tropes? Gratuitous Akira Suffering? Including the others for fun towards the end? I was in hog heaven!) While I definitely can find parts where I could improve the writing now, I still love it for all of the effort I put into it, and I got such a lovely response that made me feel really welcome on ao3, the omo tag on tumblr, and in the p/5 fandom! It’s kind of nostalgic for me, even if it was only written like a year and a half ago, haha.All Bottled Up (Dang/anRonpa: THH) : I’m just really proud of this fic, and I had so much fun writing it! I think it’s probably one of the few fics I’ve written that was a completely smooth ride of inspiration and fun from start to finish, without any hitches in the writing process or me getting bogged down with other projects. Seriously I think I hammered the entire thing out in like a week or two lmao. I love Naegiri so much, and the idea was a treat to work with even if it’s some of the most cliché omo scenarios, it was just a nice relaxing bit of indulgence! Also I got to dig into Kirigiri’s character, which I didn’t get to do in my other fic of her (since that one was so short and oddly styled). My favourite bit was probably getting to mess with the drawbacks of her gloves/hand injuries, and of course those fluffy bits with Naegi! Getting Your Feet Wet (Pers/ona 5) : This one, hoo boy. Definitely one of my longest fics, and while at the time when I posted it I kind of hated half the stuff in it (just because I had been nitpicking it for so long lmao), now that time has gone by I can genuinely say I love it and it’s probably one I’m proudest of. Not only was it my first full dive into snut (and I’d like to think it isn’t too shabby), but I got to work with a rarepair that I’ve been intrigued by, with two of my fav npcs from the game! So fun times all around! It was great to imagine how Sae might have changed and opened up since the game’s ending, and what Tae could do to help draw her out of that strict shell while still making her feel secure and comfortable. Also I got to include pet/p.lay which is something I’d been dying to write since I started that account, so bonus points for that! And I got a way better response than I was expecting, so that was nice!A Sinking Ship (Pers/ona 5) : ((Okay I swear I still plan to update the other half of this one someday soon, I literally have the draft halfway done I just haven’t been able to get it finished to the level I want.)) Anyways, I have a soft spot for this one because 1. It’s Makoto, and you all know how much I adore her, 2. I finally got to write some legit palace battling and shenanigans, which I really enjoyed and want to include more of in future projects, 3. I literally put so much detail into this one, from the setting descriptions to the dialogue and going out of my way to include the entire team interacting with her instead of just one or two chars, and I’m giving myself a fat pat on the back for that. And then throwing in actual anxiety and plot issues instead of just making her desperate for the sake of it, which may have been ambitious (hence why it’s kind of on a cliffhanger right now while I finish the comfort half), but I really just wanted her to have one of my best fics possible because Makoto deserves the best (of the worst suffering oops sorry bby). Also did I mention The Shumako Bridal Carry scene? That was absolutely necessary to include okay? Also there’s gonna be quality Shumako bonding in the second chapter so I’m biased to love this in advance. Basically I love this one specifically because it’s my own self-indulgent bullshit, which is kind of every fic I write but this is definitely one of The Most Indulgent. I also consider this one my very best omo fic in terms of the actual omo writing/content, even if it’s long AF, because at least you’re getting desperation and wetting for pretty much the entire thing, even when other stuff’s going on around it. So yeah I guess if you don’t mind a cliffhanger ending (for now) and have a decent knowledge of p/5, this is the one I recommend reading!Conundrums Lead to Collapse (Doc/tor Who - 13th Doc/tor) : I really liked writing this one because of the whump, actually. I rarely have excuses to injure characters for Even Worse Omo Suffering/Comfort, so the fact that I could write based on a canon injury was the perfect excuse! Also I’m just weak for the 13th Doctor so I’m always down for omo of her, but it was also a fun excuse to explore her character. We hadn’t gotten to see her angry or broken down at the time it aired, so I enjoyed getting to play around with how things affect her when she does finally lose the positive attitude and confidence, and bringing a character as powerful (and semi immortal I guess) as The Doctor to the floor was just a fun exercise. Also it’s kind of hard to find whump fics focused on female characters that don’t involve a certain kind of violence (or just female whump in general actually), so I just really enjoyed using all of the fandom tropes I’ve read over the years in those fics to create something for those of us who wanted it the other way around! I would also like to say this one gave me the excuse for Found Family Coddling, everyone comforts and helps her towards the end which is perfect for my fluff-craving heart after all of the angst.Holding More than Cards (Ka/kegurui Compulsive Gambler) : Oh boy, I’ll be honest the reason I love this is purely because it’s pretty much the only fic for this pairing that I’ve found for my tastes and I had to make it myself dang it (They basically had a whole two episodes where Midari creamed herself for Yumeko and they had that scene where they held each other’s faces staring into their eyes, HOW is no one jumping on this ship??? There’s literally 5 fics total on ao3 I’m not joking). I really enjoyed getting to dig into Midari’s characterization for this one, especially since I had such a tiny bit of canon to go off of and had to set it after the anime’s s1 developments. I got to write Yumeko being a dom and dropping her cheerful attitude too, which was really satisfying. Also while this doesn’t have full on snut in it, it was the closest I’d come at the time, so that was an interesting challenge. This was a rare chance to indulge in unhealthy ships too (bc literally every ship in that show is unhealthy on some level lmao) so that was entertaining to try and navigate.Capture the Fly with Nectar Sweet (The Ch/illing Adventures of Sabrin/a) : I just posted this one recently but I’m adding it anyways, because I had an absolute blast working on it. It’s so starkly different from anything I usually write, because you all know I love close friendships and found family and all that quality fluff and caring. But instead this one was me staring at my laptop thinking of how I want to tell this character to go to hell, except that would be pointless because that’s literally where she came from. I really got to stretch my wings outside my comfort zone and dig around in the dark, manipulative side for a while, and it was so much fun to study one of my favourite villains (anti-hero? she’s such a mysterious mess idk how to classify her) and her relationship with Sabrina. I also got to attempt writing desperation from the outsider’s perspective instead of the victim’s, and while I feel like I definitely still have room to improve with that, it was a nice break from the way I usually write my omo fics. I also got to shift around my writing style for this one, using words like ‘betwixt’ (which I love but never get to use lol) and using a bunch of metaphors and similes to showcase how Madam views Sabrina. This is probably the fic that makes it obvious that Language Arts was my favourite subject in school and that I’m Extra when it comes to predator/prey comparisons lmao. (Note: Please read the tags on this one, the Dead Dove: Do Not Eat warning applies here.)

I actually don’t know who else to send this to that I haven’t already, since like half the omo tag has vanished and I’m blanking on usernames, so if any of y'all are reading this post and you write fics: consider this me asking you to do it so I can hear about your fics! :D

[archived--hell]

1, 2, 17, honestly all of them if you’re up to it

1 - already answered 

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

L O R D T jupiter fuck man got damn id die for jupiter 

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

i have adopted characters before, but ive never done anything with them, and i have received characters Back from people but besides that nah

4. A character you rarely talk about?

HI PLEASE I BEG OF YOU ASK ABOUT THE GODS PLE AS E IM DYING

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?

fuck uh.. honestly if its only semi popular would i do this bc being Well Known would be nice, yeah, but.. it scares me? idk but uh probably leo or aero, theyre two boys i hold close to my heart

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?

:) eldur and leo kinda? idk i try not to make any of them look alike rip

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?

YES! theyre actually all part of one universe called cooking with demons! i have a whole game planned out for the man cast kinda? but all in all its all set within one universe, with multiple different stories occurring within it jhfdksg

8 - already answered

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

unless specfifically made for them upon request, no. ive already tried that once and it lead to me losing any and all control i had over my characters. At this moment, i only “share” a few ocs with my boyfriend @coffee-burglar and even then, its taken almost a year to even be able to do that

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?

uh, all of them are kinda complicated for me, but as of right now, that would go to leos full form. (if u want a ref hmu and ill post it, but it wont be my art)

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?

like a ray of sunshine? yeah! angel and stitch would fit perfectly for that!

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

@coffee-burglar their oc chrome n koh,  or derek but thats bc im a hoe

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?

aero, jhor, innis, leo are all trouble makers to some degree, leo being the most trouble some

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

uhhhh fuck what counts as tragic?

i guess id have to say leo or jupiter mostly, but eldur fits too

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?

if youd let me i would yell about these fucks for hours on end, ive done it

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?

the best but wouldnt enjoy it: Jupiterthe best and would absolutely enjoy it: colby

17. Any OC OTPs?

stitch/lavaaero/kohcolby/derek/inniswill/happiness aeyr/Eberictderek/Xhaztolleo/eldur

18. Any OC crackships?

jhfkdfsjghdfkjhgdkfjsgl i never talk abt it but will/aero is fucking A+

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

ah,, leo. i originally made him to project the worst in myself onto, and because of that ive made his life a living shit hole. but,, recently ive been hell bent on giving him a good ending, one where he heals, and lives his life ok, where he finally, finally has a chance to be happy and get help. its,, kind of been a tiny growing point for me? he just, means a lot to me because of that haha

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

uhhh all of their voice claims are songs n such but only a few of them actually sing in canon! heres the voice claims of the ones who do sing:

Aero - thats his voice, but hed probably more likely to sing Something Like ThisAngelStitch - this is her voice! but shed be much more likely to sing something a lot more upbeat, kind of like thisColby (its jeremy from bmc jghfdkg)

and one i dont have a voice claim for yet that does sing canonically is Sycamore! 

21. Your most artistic OC

!!!! oh thatd easily be will! hes nothing professional at all, but he does enjoy drawing and making diy type projects :0c hazels also artistic but with food :0c but what would you expect from a kitchen witch

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?

Hi My Names Skinny Penis And No One Has Ever Even Looked At My Ocs For More Than Two Seconds

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

lordt all of them would fit that, but the one thats changed the most? lordy thatd probably be will! he used to be a persona that was mostly only interested in dying and getting fucked, but now hes? evolved into a fully fledged character, and has even changed from being human lmao

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?

jupiter, simply because he is The Biggest Comfort i have. hes,,, really important to me and i love him a lot

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

:) its bold of you to assume they dont all resemble me in some way. the most though? damian. lazy motherfucker with 200 emotional issues and no motivation to fix any of them

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?

…yeah.

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?

Nope, most tend to be born from ideas spawned by me n my bf concepting about my ocs, and what would happen if this thing happened? yknow?

28. Your most dangerous OC?

He has yet to be revealed >:)c his names icarus

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

INNIS, GOD INNIS WOULD AND HED PROBABLY DIE

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?

secret: damiannot so secret: colby

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

uHHhhHh 

damian would probably have a very shitty coded blog theme (or default) and would genuinely only reblog shitty, abstract memes, and nice food recipes for hazel to make him

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?

protagonist? if youre going for the scared baby, colby. if ur going for the stoic “thats weird but ok” one, innis or aero.antagonist tho???? Leo and angelica :)

33. Your shyest OC?

uh, a oc thats genuinely shy and not just anxiety filled? angel :0c shes had a very limited interaction pool with anything thats not other angels so she tends to shy away from others bc she really, really doesnt want to get into awkward situations

34. Do you have any twin characters?

Jupiter and leo!

35. Any sibling characters?

Jupiter, leo, angelica, damian, eldur

jupiter, leo, damian, and angelica are all related via their dad, while eldur is related to damian via their mom

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?

uhh if im understanding this question right yeah i do! derek, koh, n a lot of others belong to @coffee-burglar ! ive just roped them into my universe dkjfhkdjgh

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

Op All Of My Characters Are Inhuman

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?

surprisingly? aero! hes got really good rhythm and can actually dance really well, its kinda scary

39. Introduce any character you want

:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Ill let yall have a choice, pick one

1.) Lust2.) Greed

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

fond?? uh,, not really. but damian does have a very important memory attached to him.

tw for suicide ment hjgkdfs

with damian, i created him after i tried to kill myself and was stuck in a mental hospital. i had just finished reaing the first shadowhunters book, and decided to try and draw the first demon(???? was that what he was?? im a dumbass and its been over 2 years) you met, which had bright blue hair and if i remember correctly, electric green eyes? but yeah. i made him to cope with all the mental stress i had while being forced to be in that hospital, and hes become very close to my heart because of that

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

!!!!!!!!! yeah!!! my boyfriends drawn damian and most of my characters bgjkfdhgkfdsgl but one i do hold close to my heart (bc at the time, i barely knew them) was when @stuck-in-the-ghost-zone drew aeyr! it made me really happy tbh. i still have it saved to my phone actually!!!

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?

uhhhh,,, provided that they found a way to get anything involving earth and their beliefs itd probably be either angel or colby. angel enjoys learning anything and everything she can, while colby enjoys hearing about the Tea™ that comes with greek shit

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

lordt ok

i really just? enjoy making demons really, or anything that doesnt quite fit “conveniently attractive” in at least one form they have. (i also favor making guys bc im Gay)

44. Something you like about your OCs in general

how well theyre coming together, for so long, their stories have been little fractures and pieces that never fit together. Fragments. but now, theyre almost fully put together and its… wonderful to see

45. A character you no longer use?

a hi have.. one. their name was angel aura, a steven universe oc. i got rid of them because of too many.. bad things.

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?

not directly, but yes. it.. actually helped me give a lot of them a ok life, or at least a good ending

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?

@coffee-burglar eldur, colby, will n a few others lmao

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

ELDUR GOD ELDUR PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE THIS KID BACK TO HIS MOM

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

damian

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

ghjkfgkfdhgklfjhglkjdfhgslfjdgh give me a actual thing to talk about bc im dying op

[flowerfeasts]

I was tagged by @guccifloralsuits and @honeyharrie (ily girls, thank you so much!) to ‘share 3-5 things that made me happy/positive in 2017 to help us remember that despite hardships, good things happened this year too :)’ 

Apart from march and april, 2017 seemed like a liminal space to me. All my friends were accomplishing great things career-wise after college and I was just so lost?? But now, coming to think about my year I see how much i’ve grown emotionally and that’s what hopefully will allow me to grow in other areas of my life during 2018!

1) I spent about 40 days travelling through Europe during march/april and those were the best days of my entire life i think! I visited 13 cities, including Amsterdam, Bruges, Prague, Vienna, and London; had some really good food, walked at least 10 miles every day, went to  cat cafes and cute bookstores, felt really uncool using a selfie stick, spent countless hours in museums, talked to nice strangers, was approached by creepy ones, and met Alfie Enoch (guess this time the creepy stranger was me)! During a part of this trip I was by myself, then I traveled with one of my best friends and then with some family members that are living in Germany and I wasn’t that close to them ‘til this year. I’m really okay by myself and travelling with my friend was awesome 'cause we have really similar tastes, but being with another family really took me out of my comfort zone and taught me to accept other people’s differences. I’ve never expected to cross so many places from my travel bucket list at only 21 and I’m really glad I had this opportunity!

2) In may I was in a really bad place and finally realised my therapist wasn’t helping me anymore. So I started sessions with a life coach even though i thought life coaching was bs (and some of them really are tbh), but mine actually helped me more in 10 sessions than all my past therapists in almost 4 years. It was with his help that I’ve learned how to deal with grief and found my possible purpose in life. I’ve been told by the ppl closest to me that I became a more confident, carefree and kinder person after this process and I actually agree with them 'cause I feel like I’m finally becoming the woman I want to be. This month I’ve started doing therapy with his wife and I’ve never felt more comfortable with a psychologist before, so I’m really excited to get even better in 2018 cause I know there’s still a lot in my life I need to solve, but at least I know I’m on the right path for that!

3) H. I don’t know if you guys know this, but I wasn’t a fan of harry ’til september this year, isn’t it crazy?? I liked 1D and even went to their concert in 2014 (just bc my dad was doing catering at a vip lounge and i entered as his employee lol), but after the ~hiatus~ I only kept up with Niall & Zayn and kinda ignored Harry’s existence. This changed REALLY quickly with the start of his tour; I started seeing pics of him holding the lgbtq flag everywhere, then I discovered the whole “treat people with kindness” thing that really spoke to my soul and listened to HS1 & just like that he became the light of my life??? Sometimes I even forget that I’ve been a fan for only 3 months and wasn’t around during 1D, or the void that was 2016, or even the anticipation for his album/dunkirk/tour, but what I know for sure is that i genuinely love him with all my heart and he has brought so much happiness and strength into my life. Also I love being a part of this fandom, you are all wonderful people and I’m really glad I’ve picked a fave with the most supportive and kind fans! Interacting with you makes my days so much better and ILY all so much 💖💕

I know there are only a few hours of 2017 left and for some of you it’s already 2018, but I tag @haroldedwardstyles @glamguccigod @good-and-safe @ghostbutterflies @clareuchimas @delicateharry @harrykissedlorde @etherealharold @thevaguefuture @bigdaddystyless (feel free to ignore this and I hope you have the most incredible year!) 

[taekook-is-life]

Heyyy i know it's definitely not my place, but i follow you on twitter and i saw your ed update and i just :( (FEEL FREE TO DUMP THIS 4 PART ASK IN THE TRASH IF YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT THIS I SWEAR I WON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY I'M SORRY) So yeah, I know you won't magically get better whatever the heck i say lol but i just want you to know that i've battled with food for so long and it's fucking exhausting and i'm tired of it controlling me. I literally don't know what it's like to spend

1 day not obsessing about my weight. I don't know how other ppl do it it just really is surreal to me. So yeah this is me telling you you're not alone i guess. But it pains me so much to hear you say that your ed is what makes u special cuz i!!!! literally!!!! love you!!! so much!!!! and honestly the respect i have for you can't even be put into words and obviously i love your writing so much and your kindness to your readers and yeah you're kinda my girl crush tbh.. I can list at least a billion reasons why you're special to me and none of them include your ed, in fact i decided you were my Girl Crush™ before i even knew about your ed.. Anyway, people like you don't deserve this but well ¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯. I'm sorry if i'm rambling but i honestly admire you so much and i just want for you (and me lol) to get better, and i have faith that it will happen because you're an absolute badass. Please be patient and stay strong ❤. Part 4 is just me telling you again that i have mad respect for you lol i'm a cheesy mess

This is honestly so amazing thank you so so much. It’s very difficult, having an eating disorder. Food becomes harmful and an annoying obsession. It’s surreal to me too, how people can just have a slice of cake and say it’s delicious and ask for more after. Like???? what about all those calories??? did you forget that you had a big breakfast this morning??? so how can u allow yourself to??? eat??? even??? one??? slice??? it’s very very very amazing just how secondary food is to other people. and the thing is, it used to be that way with me too. it’s not like we’re born hating food or obsessing over it. there was a time when I ate and didn’t give a shit about what I was putting in my mouth. 

but anyways. i feel like it does make me special; it makes me different; it sets me apart. you grow up hearing that you have to find a way to stand out from the crowd and stop being ordinary. and having an eating disorder is no ordinary thing. That’s why i’m so keen on the idea of holding on to it. because it’s like  i’ve finally found myself. like i was born for the purpose of having a yucky relationship with food. and believe me, i know that sounds insane and illogical and it’s simply not accurate. but i don’t believe that in my heart. i don’t feel like it’s wrong to think that way. 

the idea of not having my eating disorder scares me. because it’s safe. anorexia keeps me safe and numbed out from all of the other problems i have to face in my daily life. you can’t downgrade how terrifying it is to step outside your comfort zone. because it is terrifying. and some days are awesome but most days i hate the fact that i allowed those around me to pressure me into gaining all of the weight i managed to lose before the hospitalization. it really pisses me off that i allowed that to happen. 

i don’t know how my story will end. sometimes i hope that this is just a phase i will grow out of but sometimes i hope that i can keep going with my ed forever and ever. it’s very complicated. so i write. and when i write, the world becomes background noise and i feel so refreshed. i am very thankful to all of my readers who support me and my story, even if it is fan fiction (whatever that means). I think that we’ll just have to see where things lead up to. I just hope that you guys can forgive me if i do get myself carried away to the ER for a second time. It’s just very difficult to let go of something that was there for you when all of the people you thought cared about you started dropping like flies. and just left. 

i don’t think i’ve ever been someone’s girl crush so it’s pretty exciting, not gonna lie. i hope that this crush continues on because it’s definitely feeding my ego so thank you for that. thank you for caring, in general and bothering to message me. it’s seriously so sweet of you. thank you. 

[wanderingjotun]

22 Days of Spirit/God Spouse Challenge: Day 1

I’m doing the 22 Days of Spirit/God Spouse Challenge @heathennyht put together, partially because I helped with ideas (so obviously I’m going to do it), and partially because I just need an excuse to gush about my spirit relationships some more. The full list of questions/prompts can be found here.

1. This is going to be a long line of questions, but give us the basic run down of your relationship: What deities/spirits are you espoused/consorted with? Would you tell us a little bit about them? How long have you known them overall? How long did the courting last? How long have you been in this relationship? Do you have pet names for each other?

Oh, boy. Here we go. So, long story short, I’ve kind of fallen into a poly spirit relationship somehow? I’m only Spoused to one of them and the other two are more dating-type relationships--I don’t want to call them casual, but there’s not as much...history, I suppose is the best way to put it? Anyway! The trio I’m dating consists of Loki, The Shield, and The Strategist (the last two are pop culture spirits and I don’t exactly want these posts winding up in their tags or searches, so they get painfully obvious nicknames instead). Doing a read more because I got kind of wordy. Whoops.

Loki: I’ve been a Loki Spouse for going on five years now (holy crap, how the hell has it been that long?!), but he’s been in my life for a little over a decade. To me, he’s supportive and loving but also fantastic at shoving me out of my comfort zone and forcing me to take better care of myself. We sass each other a lot, quite honestly (but that’s kind of a defining factor in most of my spirit relationships). It took me over a year to realize he was even trying to court me and quite a bit longer to grow comfortable enough with the idea to give it a shot, but I don’t regret a second of it. I’m also a little afraid that the ‘tell us a little about them’ bit could quite easily turn into a novel all on its own, so I’m just going to direct you to this post for more. We certainly have pet names for each other, but beyond ‘darling,’ I’m not going to share them.

The Shield and The Strategist: My relationship with these two is much newer and kind of came about around the same time with both of them (like maybe a week or two apart? They have approximately zero chill between the two of them). Looking back at my notes of the time, it was kind of an entertaining/mindblowing game of Nonir ping-pong, where they were both flirting with me on and off in their own ways, then spinning me back toward the other. I wouldn’t say I’m spoused or even really formally consorted to either of them, but we’re definitely dating? I dunno, spirit relationships are weird haha. They popped into my life in April this year, I started getting the overt romantic pokes in early June, and I finally gave in around mid-June (first with The Shield, then The Strategist just kind of fell into place). My UPG is that they have a long-seated relationship with each other, too, which makes it a cozy little triad with a couple other outliers that are only involved romantically with one or two of us (aka Loki, The Sharpshooter, and The Fisherman). IDEK, I’m still getting used to this poly idea in general.

So, compared to the long, slow burn of my relationship with Loki, this is super-fast and I kind of adore it so far. The Shield is...very intense in everything he does and loves throwing very extra signs at me via divination and random taps (like -ahem- when he pointed out every single fertility/sex charm in a metaphysical shop and laughed hysterically when I glared at him out for it). He’s also fucking massive and has the strongest presence of all three of my spirit datemates, which is, uh, interesting since he’s also very much a touch-y person. The Strategist is a quieter, cool, and calming energetic presence, but he’s always got a sassy quip ready and is the first to insist I’m trying too hard, or taking on too much, or need to take a breath and re-think the situation because I’m letting my anxiety run away with me. Between the two of them, they’ve helped me avoid probably three or four anxiety attacks in the last few months, which is super impressive, since not even Loki has such a good track record with that. o.O They’re both pretty focused on making sure I take care of myself, too, and insisting I do things to improve my mental and physical health. We haven’t really established pet names yet, but I have no doubt that they’re coming. Probably something teasing-awful like “shortie,” tbh. That seems like The Shield’s sense of humor. And if The Strategist ever starts calling me something like “Highness,” I’m not talking to him for at least a week. I guess I call them both “babe” a lot, but I’ve kind of started calling everyone babe for some reason, so I don’t know if that even really counts.  

[namingthebadguysismyjam]

Tell You Everything

Request: Can you please do an imagine with Rip Hunter where he's in love with the reader because she's the only one who listens to him and make sure he's okay and also because she can pretty shy sometimes

A/N: Yes! So sorry this took so long, these past few days I’ve been working clopen and work has kept busy and tired. But I finally got it done! I hope you like it! This guy needs more love on here tbh.

Pairing: Rip Hunter x Fem!Reader

Words: 783

Summary: Rip had to tell her how he felt about her. He had it all planned out and dammit he was gonna do it. But what happens when (Y/N) confesses her feelings for someone else? 

There she was, (Y/N) that is, reading. Rip thought she was the most beautiful person he’d ever met since the untimely passing of his wife. But he didn’t fall for her because of her looks. He fell for her because she listens to him and make sure he’s okay. He loved he compassion and need to the right thing, even after the real reason why he recruited the tam was revealed. She still stayed by his side. One late night he asked Gideon what it was called when you can barely speak around someone and get butterflies in your stomach and she replied that he was definitely in love with (Y/N). What really got him was how shy she could be, he found it adorable. She was adorable and beautiful, and kind, and caring, and nice, and- wait he thought of the perfect idea. He would tell her how felt. He was gonna tell her everything.

Sure, confessing your undying love for your teammate, who probably doesn’t even like you back, could be a bad idea but they were in the business of bad ideas. Hell, one time Mick thought roasting marshmallows with his heat gun would ‘toast them perfectly’. It ended in part of the Waverider burned and no marshmallows. So, they were definitely in the bad ideas team. Rip had to tell her. She could get swopped up by Ray or some French guy from the 18th century. Which almost happened, for the record. Then, doubt fully crashed on him like a tidal wave. What if she said no? What if she really did have feelings for Ray? Or worse, feeling for some French guy in the 18th century? Rip shook it off, he was definitely over thinking this. All he had to do was invite her to dinner and- no, that was too...forward. Maybe he would just take her on a walk or something. Definitely, nothing forward.

After a day to think everything over, Rip had come to a conclusion. He was gonna travel to Paris, a place she dreams of visiting, in the 20th century and confess to her. It would just be a stroll by the Eiffel Tower and it was gonna be perfect. Until, he found her in her room, upset. She wasn’t crying she just had a look on her face and he knew.

He knocked on the door, “(Y/N)?”

Her eyes met his, “Yeah?”

“Are you alright?” He asked and moved to sit next to her. She let out a sigh, trying to figure out what to say.

“No,” she replied quietly. He set his hand on hers, as if telling her to talk to him. “I suppose you want me to tell you?”

“Well, we are friends and I want to help,” he replied. He wanted to be more than friends, obviously.

“See, there’s this guy, and he’s kind, compassionate, and really cares for his tea- people. He has a big heart and although he messed up, I still believe in him. I don’t think he believes in himself, especially after one really big lie but I know he can make it up. I think I love him.I just hope he feels the same way.” She admitted. Poor Rip was clueless.

“Why don’t you ask him or tell him how you feel?” He asked, completely unaware she was talking about him. He really thought she was talking about someone else. There really was no way she would like him. Especially now. His heart sank.

Her eyes went wide as she just stared at him. She was way too shy to tell him and she figured he’d be smart enough to figure it out. She rolled her eyes and continued on, “I thought he was really smart but I guess I was wrong about that. It turns out he’s kinda dull. He’s a great leader and can create great plans but my God, is he dull. I think I should tell him but I’m way too scared to.”

“Don’t be, I’m sure he likes you too,” Rip said attempting to hide his broken heart. She huffed out a sigh and took his face in her hands before kissing him. Because, dammit, if she had to get out of her comfort zone for him, she would. Rip was shocked but he kissed back. They finally pulled back when air was needed and then she set her hands in her lap. He spoke first, “I thought you were talking about someone else.”

“I know. You’re smart, Rip but you can be so dumb sometimes,” she smiled. She pecked his lips again.

“Wait,” he took her hands in his, “I love you too.”