#and suddenly I find a short review mentioning nothing about the film but just saying imagine if taylor did what john lennon did instead of

[jackleopard]

you really do find taylor haters in the weirdest places

[becausethathappens]

Will you please write a super angsty fic where Link is freaking out because he thinks the wedding vows he has written aren't good enough and Rhett helps him go over them and make corrections and says they're perfect but also, just says the vows he would say for Link if it was them like it should've been because he's heartbroken and Link can tell but their hands are tied and they don't know what to do so they soldier on without saying a word, but wordlessly communicating lifelong love and misery and everything, maybe comfort as well?

i'm really really sad and i can't shake it off and i really want some good angst and hurt/comfort and i really love you, maura, you're awesome

I don't do unhappy endings, anon. I'm confident you don't either. In fiction or otherwise. So, pardon this if it’s not what you expected.

Please enjoy? This was done a little hastily to share it with you (and I should be writing other things per usual) but I've had a rough week and I want to hopefully make someone smile. (I have way angstier stuff in the drafts and I will be sure to get those out eventually, too.) You’ll feel better soon.  🤞  Thank you! 💞

-———————-

now or forever

4k - Rhett writes Link vows.

If you were my boy, Blue

I’d bathe you in honeys (sp?)

I’d sing write you a love song

I’d shoot you a star**

If you were my boy, Blue

There ain’t nothing in this life I wouldn’t give

From my heart, to my toes, to my fingers, my nose (**)

Whatever it takes just to watch you live 

continue to ‘ ’ grow with you like a vine ‘round a rose 

If you were my boy, Bue

I wouldn’t want you all for myself

There’s no star bright enough to match your lightin’

In sickness, blue, so certainly while we have health

Hand in hand, no longer fightin’

What’s destiny (**)

You and & me

If you were my boy, Blue

I'd marry you

&

Thank God for Rhett. Giving him, delivering him, blessing him with Rhett.

Link is in the middle of a spiral (what he’ll later recognize as a panic attack) when Rhett arrives, the eve of his wedding. Bailing him out of this with pen, paper, and a smile.

Link has always been good at improv.

Though Rhett tended to find the words to start. These were his own vows and Link has been putting time to sit and start them off for weeks. Now that he has to, he’s dumbfounded, despite being deeply in love.

Amidst all the planning and chaos, writing his vows was such a given that Link left it as priority sixty-seven on a list of many more.

Unfortunately, even as busy as they’ve been, that list was shredded with the “who gifted what” tracking sheet (both literally, accidentally, and figuratively) back around the bridal shower and it’s been anarchy ever since.

So he thanks God for Rhett, who’s here, to stop another needless disaster from happening.

That same generous God, however, watches him plagued with thoughts of utter devotion at Rhett’s willingness to drop everything on a weeknight and rush over to help Link find his words.

His lyrics, really, is what Link has in mind. Since they used to write songs together and this felt much the same. He’s been floundering all night and now that Rhett’s here, he knows he’ll at least get what he needs done. Even if it’s not all he wants, right now.

That same God seeks judgment on his every decision or flinch against His will, for any reason, to spite him.

For this reason.

He wants to smush Rhett’s face and kiss him. Deeply. He doesn’t.

Even if there were sometime in the past that he could get away with a platonic smooch, now he can’t. He simply could not prevent that from escalating.

So, he merely tightens his grip on the wrinkled scrap paper in his hand and scrunches his eyes.

“Why can’t it be you up there…” Link bemoans, loudly, in his frustration.

Rhett’s eyes widen, in horror, and Link slams his other hand at his mouth, rolling his eyes. “Not like - I mean - why can’t you go say my lines for me. You’re so much better at this kinda thing.”

“Let me read what you’ve got,” Rhett says.

After some review, Rhett sighs, not unkindly and sits down next to Link. “Let’s just talk through what you’re trying to say because, yeah, this reads like liturgy.”

“Ain’t is supposed to? It’s in a chapel!”

“What do you like about her?” Rhett asks, ignoring his nitpicking. “Christy?” Rhett stares at him, waiting, too upset for Link to chastise but clearly wanting to.

“She’s patient,” Link says, reminded by the similar. Rhett folds over the book to an open page and clicks the pen in his hand, writing that down. “A-And she’s kind. Like considerate, ‘specially with babies and little animals. Sh-She does this thing where she immediately drops to their eye-level to make sure they don’t feel unheard or seen. Probably ‘cause she’s always been so tall…”

Rhett’s still writing.

“Then when I’m sick, she forces me to rest. You know I hate that,” Link says, voice rising a little, at the memory. “But you know I need that. You won’t be the last to make me stop and smell the roses or take a break, once in a while.”

“Her hair, write, her hair - the way it looks in the sunshine. Like warm caramel with flecks of gold. She’s a vision, an angel. Especially when she’s wearing all white, like,” Link says, pausing to point to Rhett’s undershirt and pale grey sweats. “Makes blondes look ethereal-like, always has.”

“Oh, and her voice. Sometimes, the way her accent catches, well, you know she don’t like to sing like us, never has, but when she says certain things, asks a question the right way - it’s music. The way it harmonizes with my answer, reminds me of singing, reminds me of us.”

Rhett keeps writing, quiet, and focused.

After a short time, Link can’t stop and wants to crane over to see what he’s come up with. Rhett hands it over after crossing a final “t” somewhere on the page.

“Those’re good, Link, but I think you need to keep closer to what I wrote, leave out the stuff about me.”

“Stuff about you?” Link asks, having spoken in a stream-of-conscious style, Link forgets most of what he even said

Rhett looks away, shakes his head.

Distracted by the desire to read the rest, Link abandons the lingering questions he has about Rhett’s suggestion and response.

“These are great, man, thanks,” Links says, pushing a soft hand into Rhett’s side.

His eyes scan to the bottom where Rhett’s added a few lines about the journey, the marriage, all the ceremonial aspects of the day for him to close with, but then something more.

Something about him.

Rhett catches him catch it and looks further away. “I know Christy pretty well, too, y’know. Y’all are just alike, in that way. She might need some back-up vows, to have and hold.”

Link reads them.

“You know, just in case.”

Link looks up and tries to laugh.

He doesn’t laugh.

He goes back to reading them.

Rhett shifts uncomfortably, touches the back of his neck, and shuts his eyes.

“Rhett, these ’re…”

“I know, bo, you can forget ‘em,” Rhett excuses, still not meeting Link’s gaze. “You want me to… I can rewrite the others on a different - I can turn the page and write ‘em there so you can just…”

“Hey, hey,” Link interrupts him, mad at Rhett putting down his best friend, and eager to explain his actual thoughts. “Rhett, these are perfect. These are… I’m sad I can’t say anything as nice in return to you.”

Rhett finally looks up to acknowledge that and their gaze heats and lingers.

“Not that I…” Link stutters to clarify. “Y-You’d have to be a - if that’s something that was gonna - you know - if that was gonna work…”

His mind does it’s usual jump to a visual for the worst case scenario depicting the implication he stumbled across. Him out eight grand on the wedding. Not to mention a wife, a family, a future, a faith -

a friend -

Link gulps, pushing that back away, pushing them both forward, in his estimation.

It’s too much to bear to think about for another second. When he glances at Rhett, he can’t get a read on his face what he thinks about it, and that’s scary enough for him to want to abandon the concept altogether.

“Christy’s gonna love them.”

It’s enough, saying his fiancée's name, to ground him again. Enough to make it okay for him to grab Rhett’s palm and squeeze it in thanks, between them.

Rhett’s made his choice to give up on film school.

Link’s made his choice to give up on whatever schoolboy obsession he has with monopolizing all of Rhett’s days and nights. 

He’ll stick to the days or every other weekend, however they can still fit time together, is fine by him. This ceremony, tomorrow, feels as much about his graduation from friend to husband, and all that that entails.

They’re adults.

They both know there’s a lot of sacrifices to be made and this feels like the first time he’s really acknowledging how hard they’re going to be to make. He hopes they’ll still see each other.

He hopes their kids will get along.

He has a lot of hopes.

All of them involve Rhett.

There’s a lot he should write down for when Rhett finds his own bride to wed.

Link notices, suddenly, that Rhett is crying. The same part of him that's nearly broken the headwind of these conflicting emotions turns back to comfort him.

“Hey, don’t cry,” Link soothes, realizing he’s also still holding Rhett’s hand.

“‘M sorry,” Rhett intones, the words bubble up and out of him simultaneously, sounding like water draining in a filled sink. “And the night before your wedding, good Heavens.”

“Hey, I’ve been crying all week,” Link says, waving a hand at the stress that planning a wedding has kept put on him. “Nothing I haven’t seen in the mirror.”

Rhett laughs, rubbing a thumb over his own thigh in a way that brushes upwards against the place Link’s clasping his hand. Link nearly pulls his hand back, thinking Rhett’s trying to get him to sense his want for space, but when he meets his eye it’s clear he’d like nothing less.

“I think I’m just -” Rhett starts to say, trailing off. The light from the lamp on the far coffee table is the only thing on in the room. Link drops his gaze a few inches to try and see more of Rhett’s downturned eyes as he hems and haws. He squeezes their hands together, again, this time clasping it more firmly, still pressing Rhett’s large palm down from above. “I think I’m just a li’l jealous, is all.”

It’s the quietest admission he’s heard from Rhett since he told him he failed their chemistry mid-term in eleventh grade.

Link is also so lost at the innocence of the admission that he can only think of follow-up questions. “Of me?”

Rhett looks at him for a long, long minute and finally, when Link’s gaze remains confused for the whole length of the pause, he shakes his head, no.

Then he waits. 

He waits for Link to realize what he means.

But he’s still waiting when Link, oblivious, moves onward trying to comfort Rhett, instead of understanding him fully.

The tension in the room is palpable as Link talks, but only to Rhett, it seems. Only Rhett pictures air bags being deployed in a car safety video as metal hits cinder block. Only Rhett moves his hand, though it’s all it takes to dislodge them from each other completely.

“I know you’re gonna make an amazing husband some day.” Link is saying.

Rhett’s hand aches where cool air now surrounds it.

“I know your wife is gonna get to hear you say such wonderful things about her.”

Rhett wipes his hand of the misunderstanding on the cotton of his pants.

“I know she’s gonna say the same kind of things about you, when it’s your turn up there.”

Rhett mourns the idea that this would ever be requited.

“I know she’s gonna love you, just as much as I do, so she’ll have plenty to say.”

Rhett looks away, wiping the last of his tears from his eyes. 

 “I’ll make sure she has plenty of ideas where to start.”

Rhett pats Link’s leg, in camaraderie, and nods.

And that’s it. They shoot the shit, they make a plan to meet up at a donut place for the groomsmen’s breakfast to thank them for their help, before the ceremony, and they’ll talk things through if Link’s feeling jittery still. Then Rhett’s gone.

It’s not until the next day at eleven on the dot (everyone has an agenda to follow and every moment is accounted for) that Link understands Rhett’s pain.

His mother straightens his tie and flattens the edges of his suit. “You’ll wanna know I heard Christy looks like an angel in her dress, from the girls upstairs.”

“Those actual angels you been talkin’ to, Sue?” Rhett jokes, where he’s twisting his cummerbund around every so often, bored.

“Very funny, honey,” Sue ribs back. “From the cousins, Beth and Hailee Sue. Remember they’re friends with the hairstylist you got to do the curls for Christy’s hair, today? She was over last night getting Christy ready for bed with how to wash and dry it a special kind of way. They were there, too.”

Link starts to tune her out, since there’s a lot on his mind, but then she says more.

“She says the hairstylist was talking about how jealous she was of Christy, all night, getting to marry you,” Sue relays.

“Oh, mama, please,” Link dismisses. The compliments he’s been getting have felt faker than the toupee on his uncle Bruce. That girl has never even met him. “I’m the only person here people should be jealous of, who would be jealous of Christy,” he says, trailing off, muttering his reasoning as he did. “Marrying a trainwreck like me.”

Link looks up in the mirror where some of his friends continue to mingle in various states of undress. Rhett is already dressed, however, and staring straight at Link like he’s been caught with a hand in a cookie jar.

Link’s about to ask what’s wrong when he remembers his words. Then looks again over the planes of Rhett’s face.

Last night’s words slam back into his mind and Link’s mouth drops open.

The church organ belts out an opening flurry of notes before Canon in D begins playing loudly through the sound system built into the rafters above them. Link looks up to see one of the church staff at the door instructing them to join the bridal party to line-up.

Link’s mom dashes off to where she’s paired with her nephew, Link’s favorite cousin, to be escorted down the aisle.

Rhett sees Link’s face rushing through a wash of emotions from a distance, he nods to the staffer in silent understanding that he’ll handle it, and then they’re alone.

He walks up to Link and takes his hand. He squeezes it.

“Hey, you gotta go. We gotta go. It’s showtime,” Rhett insists.

Link looks around like a bomb went off, since in some ways it did, and he doesn’t know what to do.

Rhett seems to pick up on that. He squeezes Link’s hand again.

“I’ll get over it, Link, it’s okay,” Rhett whispers, on the verge of desperation.

That confirmation is enough to fully shatter Link.

Only for a moment. 

The music continues and Rhett keeps his hand hold.

They are adults. They are in love. They have to marry. 

None of these things can be helped.

“I’m gonna be so jealous of Her, too,” Link whispers back. He squeezes Rhett’s hand one last time, as they part.

They leave.

They walk straight.

They part again.

Until later.

They move houses and cities and states.

They move mountains, inside and out.

They move together.

Much later.

They join again.

They run crooked.

They return.

To one another.

Link has spent years worrying a ring that means too much to too few people.

In the beginning, when he cries himself to sleep at what he thinks has been the mistake of a lifetime, it’s His talisman. It reminds him of the expectations upon this life he’s made.

As the years pass, however, the adherence to the bogeymen of their childhood’s rules wears thin. It starts to strictly represent love and patience.

Sacrifice.

It begins to feel like a burden. A representation of what’s been lost, not what’s been found.

He contemplates taking it off, but believes that to be a betrayal of all that it stands for to the people he stands for. 

Then, one day, (surely mid-spin) he hears Rhett tell a story about wanting to change his ring.

He watches the silver twirl as Rhett explains.

He believes he was rushed into a certain type of marriage and a certain type of life by a certain type of person.

It’s a life that he’s grown to love but the ring represents a union forced by custom and not one that’s grown through devotion. 

His ring reminds him of that too often to be good for him.

Link twists his again at the admission.

So, Rhett’s thinking about replacing the ring.

Link returns home that night in a stupor. He’s sure he said one too many things to Rhett to emphasize how wild it felt to hear him talk about changing rings.

Any memories of that day, their wedding, bring up a rush of emotions that he’s never been good at sorting through.

Today’s admission makes him feel the same spur to make use of idle, betrothed hands he feels when he cleans the fridge.

He wants to clean the slate.

He finds an old DVD copy of their wedding ceremony that he paid to have converted from miniDV some years ago. Now he struggles to find a place to watch that DVD. How quickly time has flown by.

Eventually, he ends up in his son’s room - no one’s home for the remainder of the night but he and Christy - now, he’s sitting on a bean bag, squinting at the game console’s controller trying to get the joysticks to move to “play” on screen.

The ceremony bursts to life and, like it was yesterday, Link’s nerves fizzle awake.

About halfway through the video, Christy finds him like that and sits down next to him in a thwump absorbed mostly by the stuffing of the chair.

They watch themselves smile happily at each other and Christy takes his hand.

“Should I be happy or scared to find you alone watching this on a Saturday night?” she asks, wryly, squeezing his palm.

Link doesn’t know what to say. He’s caught up in Rhett’s bygone script being spoken on screen. Words about Christy and about Link that were not their own, declared loudly in front of the congregation.

“I don’t know,” Link admits, shrugging. He doesn’t. He squeezes her hand back.

“You wanna tell me what’s eating you?”

Link hesitates, but relents. He wants that clean slate, after all. “Rhett’s getting his wedding ring replaced.”

“Replaced?” Christy asks, balking.

“Replaced, yeah,” Link responds, sure he didn’t misspeak.

“With what?” she asks.

“Oh, some new one. Fancy thing, very cool, made of trees or something. Honestly he wears the other one, the slick black one more than his wedding band half the time. He says it feels like the old one? It’s the kind of ring you get in a bauble at a vending machine crank. So, he wants a new one.”

“Jeesh,” Christy says, making a face at the screen. The camera catches Rhett stealing glances at the couple, then at the crowd, beaming at all with unbridled pride.

“Wouldn’t you be mad if I did that?” Link inquires, still baffled at the idea.

“Well, no, but don’t you love your ring? Heirloom and all that,” she says.

Link cringes. “Yeah, yeah. Honestly, I do.”

“So?”

“So, I still kind of want to and I’m not sure what that means.”

They watch the screen together.

“Do you wanna stay married?” she asks, in a small voice.

“Yes,” he breathes out.

There’s a long pause.

“To me?” she asks, her voice even smaller.

“Yes,” he breathes in.

She squeezes his hand, her confidence built back up. She begs him to join her.

“And him?” Christy whispers.

They both look the screen, the lens centered on the two of them, but their gaze is mutually torn to where Rhett stands wiping a tear from his eye at Christy reciting the last of the vows that he wrote her. Wrote him. Wrote them both.

She squeezes his hand again.

“Yes,” he breathes out.

She leans her head on his shoulder.

“You should probably get another ring, then,” she jests. “We shouldn’t have to share everything.”

The slate is clean.

There’s a lot he wants to say to Rhett about it, but just as before, he’s relied on Rhett to give him the right words to say. So, instead of words, he starts wearing Rhett’s ring.

Then, a new one, when he realizes he can match him separate from the other, all told. Have something of Rhett’s, all to himself.

In his unspoken push towards something more, their hands now match along with their steps, as they walk forward.

On the last week in July, they get ice cream at the fifth place that month to mistake them for husbands, but the first one he hears Link crow an affirmative in response.

Rhett waits for him while he triple-tips the cashier (for the guess) and pays for their cones.

“Bad joke,” Rhett says, softly, but firm.

“Who’s kidding?” Link parries back, a smirk dancing it’s way across his lips.

Rhett watches him with a wistful look of disbelief.

“Link, we’re married,” Rhett warns him.

Link shrugs. “I know. I’m just waiting for you to figure that out and minding my ice cream here, all right?”

He’s got a mouthful of vanilla bean and extra cookie crumble, the next second, so his vow ends there.

Later, at home, Rhett startles Jessie awake when he fully realizes Link’s words.

He shakes her awake. He shakes them both awake.

“I’m in love with Link,” he says, like it’s a confession.

She kisses him because so is she. So are most people.

“What’s wrong?” she asks.

Rhett repeats himself.

So does she.

They stare at each other under the cover of silk and moonlight.

“We’re married,” Rhett whispers, touching his hand to hers. Their rings clink, new and shiny.

“Yeah, and so are we,” she whispers back.

They fall asleep smiling.

The next day, Rhett sneaks up behind Link while he’s working and causes him to spill his cup of coffee. He gets the stink eye for only a minute because it’s the same length of time he can stand Link’s grumpy mug before he has to swoop down and kiss him on the lips.

“You figured it out,” Link says, grinning.

“I did,” Rhett chirps as he kisses Link more.

They take a car to their house. It’s filled with their love and the history of it; before, during, and after.

“What’s this?” Link asks, dazed in their post-sex glow, naked and alive.

He spots an old chord book of theirs from last time they wrote music.

“Oh,” Rhett says, bashful. “I came looking for you here this morning, hoping you slept over again, but, uh,” Rhett stalls, looks away and tries to take the songbook from Link’s hand. Link pulls it far enough he can’t reach. “You were already at the job.”

“And?” Link asks, using his spry, sinewy body as an advantage to slink away from the bed out of Rhett’s grip. He still has the book in hand.

“Those are your vows,” Rhett explains.

Link looks down and squints, confused. These aren’t the vows that Christy read at their wedding. He’s seen that video only a few months back and is sure of it.

“Our vows,” Rhett whispers, explaining further, at Link’s puzzled look.

“It’s a love song,” Link notes, marveling at the gesture. What it means to a young version of himself that once felt like they had surely cut out and mourned the possibility of this - all of this - ever happening. To have that thought coexist with the image of a nude, hulking tree trunk of a husband laid before him smiling up adoringly felt panoptic.

“So are you.”

Link begins to cry.

“Play it for me.”

Rhett wipes his cheek.

“Get my guitar.”

They sing twice more that night, always in harmony (not always in lyric), then spend the rest of their lives together doing much the same.

[letsbeoutoftouch]

Back in December 2016, during a sleepover, my friends and I decided to watch EXO's Chanyeol's most recent movie, "So I Married an Anti-Fan". It effortlessly became one of my favourite movies, so much so that I rewatch it —at least— once a year.

Therefore, when it was first announced that South Korea was going to produce a drama based on the same story, I was thrilled. The feeling only increased when I found out that the male lead was Choi Tae-Joon, whom I loved because of Suspicious Partner. Later (to be more precise, this year), I discovered that the other lead was the one and only Sooyoung from SNSD!

The drama was filmed back in 2018, and it was supposed to air a loooot sooner, but it had a few problems and it finally came out this year. Since I don't like waiting for episodes to come out each week, I waited until it finished airing to watch it... And, today, I finished it!

So, here's my review, fresh out the oven!

· · ·

So I Married an Anti-Fan is a 2021 South Korean drama, featuring Choi Tae-Joon, Choi Sooyoung, Hwang Chansung and Han Ji-Ahn. It's based on the novel "그래서 나는 안티팬과 결혼했다" (So I Married an Anti-Fan), written by Kim Eun Jun and published in 2010.

· · ·

♡ PLOT:

The story revolves around Hoo Joon (Tae-Joon), a well-known idol, and Geun Young (Sooyoung), a magazine reporter. They meet during an event, where a series of misunderstandings leads them to have a bad impression of each other.

For this reason, when Geun Young loses her job, she's under the impression that it was Hoo Joon's doing and is therefore keen on "reveal" Joon's real character. However, her retaliation backfires, and she attracts a lot of attention as his "anti-fan".

Later, a TV producer approaches them both to star in a reality show. Geun Young and Hoo Joon accept and think to give each other a hard time on set. But, as time goes by, they get to know each other better and better.

· · ·

♡ EPISODES:

It's made up of 16 episodes, running for an hour each (i.e., your typical k-drama).

· · ·

♡ CHARACTERS:

-Geun Young (FL): She's the best character, hands down (I swear I'm not being biased because I love Sooyoung).

For some reason, I've seen a lot of bad comments about this character. I don't truly understand why some people said that she didn't stand up for herself or that she was so-so, when she dealt really well with everything that had happened to her. I'd like to see all those people in her shoes—I bet they'd have cracked up quickly.

Also, she's like the least toxic character I've ever come across in a drama. She waits patiently for Joon to deal with his problems and doesn't jump to conclusions regarding his relationship with In Hyeong and Jae Joon. She lets him do his thing, is an independent woman, and tries to be as little of a burden as she can to the people she cares about. So, props to her!

▫ ▫ ▫

-Hoo Joon (ML): Although I overall liked his character, I admit that if I hadn't previously watched the movie, I'd probably be wary of him at the beginning. But, don't worry: as the story progresses, you get to know him better. He's patient and thinks of other people's feelings and well-being a lot (sometimes, a little too much for his own good, but he's a good boy).

I felt the need to include that there was this one scene where he acts... In a way that I didn't find appealing. Fortunately, he isn't like that all throughout the drama. Also, he isn't toxic like a lot of the male leads in drama-land. If you're wondering which scene I'm referring to, here's a spoiler: *SPOILER ALERT* When he and Geun Young start dating, they are requested to film an advertisement together. In the filming, he acts all "jealous" because the dress she was wearing was too short for his liking. I'm sorry, but she's the only one who has a say on how short a dress she's wearing is—not you, not even if you're her partner *END OF SPOILER ALERT*.

▫ ▫ ▫

-JJ/Jae Joon (SML): Jae Joon is the second male lead, and he was portrayed by 2PM's Chansung.

I'm sorry, but I never could come to terms with this character, not even during the last episodes. If the writers' intention was for me to hate him, they (and Chansung's acting) totally achieved that purpose.

He is incredibly selfish and keeps this attitude up to episode 13/14. Towards the ending, the story tries that the audience feels some sympathy towards him—it is shown why he acted the way he did. Nevertheless, in my opinion, while his past may explain his actions, it doesn't justify any of them. That's why I couldn't bring myself to feel sympathetic or empathetic towards him. *SPOILER ALERT* In fact, I think Hoo Joon was too nice to be there for him in the last two or three episodes. *END OF SPOILER ALERT*

He's also outright abusive. *SPOILER ALERT* I mean, he slapped In Hyeong and broke her laptop ¿?... Even though I didn't like her that much, nothing justifies that kind of violent behaviour. *END OF SPOILER ALERT*

▫ ▫ ▫

-In Hyeong (SFL): She's the second female lead, portrayed by actress Han Ji-Ahn.

Oh, man. I had a hard time trying to wrap my head around this character. I was just going to say that I couldn't stand her because she was always purposely putting a spanner in the works, making everyone's life difficult.

However, as I was drafting this review, I began reflecting on the character and felt sympathy for her. She was in a vulnerable place—leaving aside that she felt abandoned by her first love, she had trouble trying to make her career take off, and she was in a really abusive relationship. It could be argued that JJ and In Hyeon were both toxic to each other, but it was clear that he was the one with the upper hand (he was the CEO of her new agency, which brings a real disbalance of power).

Moreover, it was hinted several times that all she went through took a toll on her mental health (*SPOILER ALERT* she was always taking pills to calm down, and she freaking tried to kill herself!!!!!!! *END OF SPOILER ALERT*). I believe she needed professional help to put herself back together, so she could let go of her past and finally leave that abusive relationship.

· · ·

♡ COUPLES:

Since this drama mostly gravitates towards romantic relationships, I'm including this section.

▫ ▫ ▫

-Geun Young x Hoo Joon: They are your typical enemies to lovers.

In the beginning, their relationship was tainted by a lot of misunderstandings, which led them to hate each other's guts (but, where's the charm in a k-drama that isn't filled with misunderstandings, am I right?). Once they started to spend more time together, they began understanding each other better. In time, they were able to leave their pride aside and got rid of their prejudices (yes, the story gives Jane Austen-ish vibes, so much so that "Pride and Prejudice" is mentioned a few times).

Their chemistry was alright. I would have changed some parts of the script that made a lot of scenes to be super cringey—especially, before some of their kisses (like, what a way to ruin such an awaited moment!).

The thing I liked the most about them was that neither of them was toxic, and they knew how and when to give the other person space. They were sweet, but not unbearable sweet—just the exact amount.

▫ ▫ ▫

-In Hyeong x Jae Joon: I don't know if they can be considered a true couple, but I'm adding them here just to repeat that I HATED THEM TOGETHER.

· · ·

♡ SOME PERSONAL INTERPRETATIONS AND THOUGHTS:

For me, the story tries to show the two sides of the same coin: things that may seem completely different, but are essentially the same. You can see it with Hoo Joon/Geun Young, their friends, and even with Hoo Joon/Jae Joon. Of course, this could be argued—it is just my personal impression.

Also, while the drama condemns some of the toxic fan behaviour, it sometimes romanticises it. *SPOILER ALERT* one fan freaking kidnapped him, and everything was suddenly alright ¿¿ Nuh-uh *END OF SPOILER ALERT*

· · ·

♡ DRAMA VS. MOVIE:

As I mentioned above, there's a prior Chinese movie from 2016 that was based on this novel. It features EXO's Chanyeol, Yuan Shan Shan, SNSD's Seohyun, and Jian Chao.

For obvious reasons, the story is shrunk down in the movie. There are a lot of things that weren't included in the movie, other things were overly simplified, and some stuff was missing and/or changed.

If you want to have a good laugh, then I recommend you to watch the movie. It's filled with non-sensical comedy that, in my opinion, China excels at. However, if you are more inclined towards drama, then the South Korean version is the one for you (you'll laugh, too, don't worry).

· · ·

♡ SUMMARY:

This is, basically, a sweet enemies-to-lovers, famous-person-and-normal-person story. If you like any of those troupes, then you're in for a treat.

It's a really lighthearted story that will make you laugh. Don't expect a complicated plot because there won't be one. It's ideal to have a break from all those dramas where you can't miss a single detail because you'll get lost, or from those dramas which plots are so heavy they end up tiring your mind out.

I loved the cast, and their acting was great (especially Chansung's, because he made me hate his character with a passion, lmao).

ALSO, if you like Sung Hoon (My Secret Romance, Oh My Venus) like me, then WATCH THIS DRAMA, lol. He has a guest role in some episodes!

· · ·

So I Married an Anti-Fan is available on VIKI!

· · ·

If you read the whole review, thank you very much! I hope you liked it.

[alpacaparkaseok]

Lost & Found - 3

Pairing: Park Jimin x soulmate (oc)

Warnings: Insecurity, anxiety, abandonment

Word Count: 3.4K

**read this first!**a/n: be sure to read the newspaper article at the end of Jimin’s POV, it’s important to the story! if you’re unable to see the words b/c they’re too small, please comment/let me know and I’ll fix it! If you’re on mobile, you should be able to click on it and flip it to horizontal. That should make it easier to read.

Chapter 3. Fake Smile

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Jimin fiddles with a loose thread hanging off the end of his sleeve, minding his business as hushed staff members bustle around the room. He’s wearing a pristine white jacket over his button down shirt. It feels like it’s been years since he’s last dressed up for anything.

“Ok, we’re ready to go,” someone in the distance says. Jimin sits up a little straighter, trying his best to look overjoyed to be here. A familiar makeup artist rushes forward, dabbing at his face and giving him a warm look.

“Oh, let me get this for you,” she mumbles, noticing the loose thread that Jimin keeps twisting and pulling. Taking a pair of small scissors from the bag around her waist, she goes to cut the string.

Jimin tenses up, a strangled noise coming from his throat. “No, leave it,” he mumbles. The makeup artist doesn’t hear him, thinking he’s just being polite.

Suddenly Jimin jumps up, backing away as fast as he can. “Leave it be!” He sobs, bringing his hand close to his chest.

Everyone freezes, looking to the idol with a mixture of worry and confusion. The makeup artist from before is the first one to put two and two together, bowing low and profusely apologizing.

It takes a few minutes for Jimin to come back to his senses, finally going through some breathing exercises and assuring the worried staff that he’s fine. When he finally settles back on the stool, the same makeup artist hurries over, keeping her eyes averted as she hurriedly touches up his makeup.

The guilt hits Jimin like a brick wall. “I’m sorry,” he says, his eyes perfectly reflecting how horrible he feels for his outburst. “You just took me by surprise. Please, I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s my fault,” the young woman mumbles. “I should have known better.”

Before Jimin can respond, the woman scurries away and it’s time for Jimin to film his short message to be shown at the concert.

Jimin has worn a few fake smiles in his lifetime, however as he lies straight to the camera, claiming that his muscle spasms have returned and that he’s working toward a speedy recovery, he can’t recall the lies ever hurting this much.

“Please wait for me,” Jimin says, his close-lipped smile hopefully countering the look in his eyes. “Enjoy the concert! Fighting!” He goes to raise his hand in a fist, but stops as he catches sight of his red thread in his peripheral.

Once the video is cut and Jimin is given the OK to head out, he slips out of the room immediately. A part of him would love to just go ahead and disappear into one of the empty rooms within the Bighit building, but he knows that he has to attend the meeting that Bang Sihyuk called for him and all the members.

By the time he makes it into the conference room everyone else is already there. He feels a bit more relieved when he enters the room and they don’t immediately halt in their conversation. Instead, Taehyung pulls Jimin to sit down beside him, giving him a boxy smile.

“Alright,” Bang Sihyuk sits at the head of the table with a soft look in his eye. “Are we ready?”

A round of agreement goes around the table, Jimin folding his hands on the table and doing his best to keep his eyes on the wall behind Hobi’s head. He definitely was aware of the line of red threads that trailed into the conference room, fighting the pang of hurt that was bound to arise.

The meeting starts off normally enough, going over a quick review of their upcoming schedule and making sure everything is prepared for their next concerts in Japan. The boys occasionally make comments or express concerns with the schedule, and everyone works together to resolve any issues that may arise.

For the first time all week, Jimin feels...normal.

That feeling comes crashing down when Bang Sihyuk’s voice rings out, calling Jimin’s name.

“We have a few options for how we can move forward,” he begins. “But I just want you to keep in mind that we’re in this together. No matter what.”

“Thank you,” Jimin mumbles.

Sitting back, Bang Sihyuk claps his hands. “That being said, we have a few options. I’m not sure what you would feel best about, so please weigh in with your opinion.”

With that being said the entire room begins to delve into the separate ideas. Of course the company sending out a statement is one of the first ideas to be discussed, however Jimin can’t shake the uneasy feeling that accompanies it.

“I know that we can’t just pretend that nothing happened,” Jimin states, sitting forward in his seat. “But isn’t there a way that we could just...I don’t know…” He trails off, unsure of what he was even trying to say in the first place.

Namjoon, who Jimin notices hasn’t even looked at him in the eye during this entire meeting, clears his throat. “We can always just take the ‘no comment’ route. I mean, there’s sure to be a lot of rumors that accompany that, but there’s going to be rumors no matter what.”

“No comment?”

Bang Sihyuk nods. “That’s basically just us refusing to ever shed light on the situation. Honestly...we might have to take that route anyway, because we really don’t know what happened. Instead of scrambling for some sort of explanation, we could just allow people to wonder. I’m not sure if Jimin would feel comfortable with-”

“Sounds great.”

All eyes turn to Jimin, who is sitting on the edge of his seat, fiddling with the severed thread.

“What?”

Jimin shrugs. “Like Namjoon said; there’s going to be rumors no matter what. Let them wonder. Frankly the idea of offering up some sort of patched together explanation every time people ask me about this,” he holds up his hand for emphasis, “sounds exhausting and never ending. Which, all of this will be, but I’d like to just keep this for myself.”

It’s quiet for a moment while everyone takes in this information, and Jimin waits with bated breath for the verdict. In the end, it’s Jungkook who ventures to speak first.

“I think you have a point,” he says, shooting his friend an understanding look. “People are going to be asking about it nonstop and spreading rumors, so I’d feel better if what we answer is on our terms. People can so easily twist our responses.”

After a couple more minutes of discussion and debate, they settle it. Deciding to take the ‘no comment’ route for now, Jimin feels a wave of relief come over him. Namjoon, too, appears to be relieved with this decision.

Once the meeting is over, Jimin doesn’t miss the way Namjoon practically hurtles out of the room.

“Where’s he headed to?” He asks the others. Jin shrugs.

“I think he said he had to meet with Chung-hei.”

There’s a pang of pain at the mention of Namjoon’s soulmate, but it doesn’t hurt as bad as it might have the day before. “Oh.” Before the others can dive in to make him feel better, Jimin changes the subject. “Have you guys already eaten?”

Taehyung’s eyes light up at the possibility of his best friend joining in on a meal with them. “Nope. Let’s go!”

The boys surround Jimin as they head down into the small cafeteria area, a few staff wandering around. The makeup artist from this morning keeps her head down, shooting Jimin a sheepish smile before scampering off. Jimin winces, recalling the events of the morning. How he’d lost complete control-

“Who even reads the paper anymore?” Jungkook asks aloud, grabbing an abandoned article from off a table. “I didn’t realize that they still delivered hard copies.”

Jimin wanders over, forcing a half-smile to his face. “Is it a real newspaper?” Before he can grab it, Jungkook drops the paper almost as though it burned his skin.

“Er, no,” he stutters out, earning a confused look from everyone around the table. “I think it’s a fake, I’ll just throw it away-”

Jimin reaches out and grabs the newspaper before Jungkook can do anything, eyes widening as they glance over the front page. Everyone else gathers around, falling eerily quiet. In the end, it’s Taehyung who breaks the silence. 

“I’m sure it’s just some dumb misunderstanding,” he mumbles. “You know how reporters get.”

Jimin can hardly find it in himself to nod, rereading the article again and again. 

For the first time in his life, Jimin wishes that the gossip column were true.

✂

Typically, the second I’m done with work, I do my best to not think of bread for the rest of the day. Today, however, is different.

My tiny apartment has been transformed, the kitchen dusted over with a thin layer of flour. On the counter sits an old wooden slab, a chunk of dough sitting atop it. And then there’s me.

Hands cracked to oblivion, hair pulled back in what can only be identified as a bird’s nest, panting as I flatten the dough again and again. It’s the same process that I’ve been doing for years, my shoulders hardly aching anymore with the constant practice.

Punch.

Press.

Repeat.

The sound of me beating the dough to a pulp is ringing in my ears, and when I finally step back with a huff, it takes me a moment to hear something scratching at the door. Shaking my head to rid myself of the ringing noise, I listen closer.

“Who’s there?”

A quick glance out the window shows my empty porch, however the scratching continues. Now that it’s steadily growing darker, I can’t tell if there’s anything out there.

Am I being haunted? Is this my punishment for cutting the thread?

Slowly, I open the door, wincing at the white mark I leave behind from my flour-heavy hands. “Hello?”

I get a meow in response.

Looking down, I meet eyes with a pristine white cat that sits on its back legs and looks up at me with unwavering annoyance.

“What?” I ask the cat, that simply blinks up at me. “What are you so annoyed about? You’re the one that knocked, not me.”

Nearly rolling its light colored eyes at me, the cat stretches before looking back up expectantly. From the white fur that doesn’t have a single spec of dirt, to the look it’s giving me, I feel like I just stumbled upon the queen’s cat.

“By all means, come in,” I croon, stepping aside and watching with no small amount of amusement as the cat leaps inside. It immediately heads toward the couch, jumping atop it. “Make yourself comfortable,” I mumble.

Ignoring my visitor for now, I go back to the counter and stare down at the dough. I’ve been kneading this for a while now, it’s flat enough that it might never rise. That’s not what I got it for, though. There’s already some bread baking in the oven.

Half-heartedly throwing one fist at it, I find that I’ve completely lost any energy. Instead I just stare down at the wooden slab, and wonder.

It’s the same thing that I’ve been wondering about all day. My thoughts go in endless circles, always coming back around to the same thing.

Park Jimin.

After Chung-hei appeared at the shop a couple of days ago, I’ve been unable to stop thinking about what I’ve done. When I told her my reasoning, recalling the awful experience she had and admitting that I was a coward and didn’t want to go through the same thing, Chung-hei looked at me with something akin to realization.

“Jolie,” she had muttered, stopping me from hitting the dough again. “You know that he would love you, right? You’re enough. More than enough.”

Which led me to this moment, pulling out the wooden slab and spending my entire evening beating some dough and trying to beat out my emotions as well. It still hasn’t worked.

“What’s your name?”

The cat’s ears twitch a little at my sudden question, however it just continues to stare at me like I might be insane. Judging from my recent actions, I’d say it isn’t wrong.

“Are you planning on staying the night, or…?”

A swish of its tail and the cat is sinking lower into the couch.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Finally abandoning the dough and washing my hands off, I meander over to my new roommate. “What should I call you? I have a feeling you won’t take kindly to just being called ‘cat’, right?”

The cat gives me a death glare, confirming my suspicions.

“That’s what I thought,” I say, raising my hands in innocence. Settling down beside the white cat, I admire its fur. “But I wonder why you’re here? You look like you’re well taken care of. And no collar?” Hesitantly reaching out, I double check that there is no collar hidden in its long fur. “Don’t think so. I’ll let you stay the night,” I concede. “But tomorrow you’ve got to find your way back home, ok?”

The cat swivels its head to look at me, looking offended that I would even say such a thing. It lets out a woeful mewl.

“You’re lost, aren’t you?” Another mewl. “Huh.”

Running my hands through its long fur, I lean my head against the wall, watching the evening turn darker and darker. The cat also joins me in my silent watch, never moving an inch as it emits a soft pur.

“I’m lost, too.” The words tumble from my mouth, a little broken. I keep my eyes ahead, watching the outside as though it will disappear at any given moment.

From the corner of my eye I see a bundle of white fur scooting toward me until the cat lumbers up into my lap. Chuckling through the unshed tears, I sniffle and adjust so we’re both comfortable.

“Should I call you ‘L’ for lost?” I ask abestmindely. I nearly jolt out of my skin when the cat hisses up at me. “Ok, ok. You’re a lady, I get it. What about ‘Elle’? You know, e-l-l-e. That’s like a princess name. Very pretty. We’ll be the only ones that know what it really means. ‘Elle’ for lost.”

I receive no further objections.

Snuggling down into the sofa, I keep my eyes open for as long as I can until they drift shut against my will.

✂

When I awake, the world is still dark. Not unusual, considering that I tend to wake up around this time everyday, but something is off-

“Elle!”

The cat in question jumps off my lap, bolting toward the door. Groaning, I rub at the back of my neck.

“Good morning. What time is it?” A quick peek at my phone that’s nearly dead has me groaning a second time. It’s already time to get up. Waddling toward the bathroom, a loud meow makes me pause.

“What?” Elle scratches a little at the door, giving me a withering gaze. “Oh. Right.” I hurry over to open the door. “Well, thanks for visiting, feel free- aaand she’s gone.”

Laughing quietly to myself, I head into the bathroom to get ready. Making sure to not even look at the mirror until I’ve scrubbed my face, I get straight to it.

I’m nearly running late when I finally leave my apartment, but thankfully the shop isn’t far from here. It allows me to walk there most mornings.

The world is still asleep as I walk down the street, admiring the dull grays and blues of the early morning. There’s a hint of a chill in the air, but it’s nothing that a brisk walk won’t take care of.

It’s in these moments of quiet that I feel like the world is pressing down on me so heavily. Unafraid of people gawking and seeing my cut thread, I let my hands hang out of my pockets.

There’s nothing to be afraid of this early in the morning. It’s only when the sun begins to rise is when trouble begins to stir up. So I take advantage of the peace that settles over me as I make my way to work. No doubt my shoulders will resent me a bit today as I spent all of my free time yesterday beating dough.

As the sleepy world continues in its quiet vigil, my thoughts return to the exchange I had with Chung-hei a couple of days ago.

“You told me you wouldn’t wish that upon anyone.”

Chung-hei sighs, suddenly looking utterly exhausted. “I was foolish. It sucked, of course it did. Suddenly I had a target on my back. But that’s not the point.”

“Then what-”

“The only way I was able to get through that and am still able to, is because of the people I have surrounding me. I have you! I have Namjoon! As far as I’m concerned, that’s all I really need. It was difficult, but I learned to quit worrying so much about what other people expected or wanted from me. I know who I love, and that’s all that matters.”

“Good morning sleepy-head.”

Nearly jumping into the street, I can’t help but yell a little as Chung-hei appears before me. She’s standing in front of the shop, a sly smile on her face.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, clutching my chest. “Why are you trying to scare me so much?”

My friend laughs. “It’s too fun, honestly. What? I can’t come to visit you at work anymore?”

“Weren’t you just here a couple of days ago?”

Chung-hei clears her throat. “Ah. Right.” She rubs at her arms. “Should we go inside, then? Fire up the oven? It’s chilly.”

Giving her a long look, I glance down at my thread. Despite being fully aware of my decision, it still shocks me a bit whenever I see the frayed end. Still a dull red, the thread looks so out of place now.

“Sure, I guess.” I grab my key out of my pocket, heading toward the front door. “Actually, I could use some help. I think I nearly beat the life out of some dough yesterday, I can hardly move my arms now.”

“Yeah. Namjoon can help.”

I stop with the door halfways open. “What do you-” Glancing over my shoulder, I nearly lose all ability to speak as I watch my friend rounding the corner of the building with none other than Kim Namjoon in tow.

He’s taller than I imagined.

And somehow able to make me what to run for the hills.

I stare at the man, forgetting all sort of courtesy or manners as he looks down at the ground sheepishly. Slowly, I turn to my friend.

“What.”

Chung-hei has the good sense to look a little apologetic. “I...you never got to meet him.”

I stare at her a moment longer, struggling to read whatever emotions are in her eyes. My heart catches in my throat. “He knows, doesn’t he.”

At this, Namjoon looks up with wide eyes. He opens his mouth, but I beat him to it.

“Don’t even try to lie,” I hiss out. “I’ve known your soulmate for much longer than you have, and I can tell when she’s trying to fix all my problems. Looks like she brought some help from the outside this time.”

Namjoon’s mouth snaps shut, but he doesn’t lower his gaze. I turn back to Chung-hei, who looks like she’s fighting against chewing me out for insulting her soulmate. Despite feeling a little bad for being so rude, I can’t help the anger that boils inside me.

My best friend, I realize, is no longer my confidant. It’s something I thought of before. Once we found our soulmates, it was only a matter of time before those roles shifted. However it doesn’t stop the pain that comes with seeing it firsthand.

The urge to turn and lock them out of the shop is overwhelming, but I stand still for a moment longer. The blue of the early morning is turning gray, almost matching the dark circles under Namjoon’s eyes. I see now just how much he must have gone through to get here.

Regardless of the circumstances, I still cherish my friendship with Chung-hei. Years of experiences and heartbreak can’t get washed away so easily.

“Can you work the dough?” I ask a little roughly, fighting against the lump in my throat. Namjoon blinks, looking shocked.

“Ah, see. I told you she’d come around.” Chung-hei drawls, grinning at me. I can’t quite find it in me to return her smile just yet. “I’ll help him,” she promises.

Sighing, I nod. “Come in, then. I hope you can talk and work at the same time. I have a feeling you prepared a speech.”

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[userholland]

Elaborate on why you didn’t like Cherry? I wanna know your opinion! :)

before i start, i am not saying that i hated this movie or i dislike it because it’s not a marvel film. i tried to go in with an open mind and i had read the book prior so, i was very anticipated for this movie! i am also not bashing on anyone else’s opinions about this movie as well, this is my personal opinion and if you don’t like that, that’s fine! i’m summarizing in points and calling it...

“liz’s cherry review: you can not like a movie, but enjoy the actors in it and understand the message. 🍒”

if i had to grade this movie, it would be at least a C- and the reason is because this movie was completely flashy to me. the characters were one dimensional, the directing was confusing, the dialogue was blunt and choppy and overall, i think they cut out so many great parts of what the book was and what made me want to see this film.

what i liked:

- the raw and real details of what going through addiction and withdrawal is. i think as graphic and comedic as it was, part 4/5 was always the hardest part to get through. you not only see the downfall of two characters that solely depend on each other, but you see that they also can’t save each other and what their demons. as we see, emily slowly disengages from cherry unless she needs to shoot up or needs pills. while their relationship wasn’t perfect, you still wanted them to both find some kind of hope and i think that is mainly supported by tom & ciara’s acting. it was nice to see in interviews that they actually formed a bond behind the screen and they could trust each other when it came to filming multiple scenes of “shooting up heroin” with real needles.

- the message of how veterans can feel like the country they fought for can also turn against them. even though it wasn’t as boldly executed as i thought, i think that the “aftermath of war” homage was necessary for this film since it’s sort of the reasoning for what cherry’s actions after in part 5 and 6. it’s something that real soldiers have to deal with, experiencing trauma and the urge to fight back when it’s suddenly stripped away when they are sent home. they have to go back to living normally, but they don’t know how to and i think again, it was very raw and it’s something we all need to hear/realize. yes, the army and the military overall today is controversial and always has been, but it still comes with terrible consequences that young men go through and some of nothing to turn to and feel betrayed.

what i disliked:

- the relationship and entire romance of cherry and emily. (aka leaving out some huge subplots that could have built up their relationship more). from what i remember about the book, this is not the cherry and emily i pictured. they weren’t some dumb kids who fell in love then got hooked to drugs. they were this dysfunctional couple who lied and cheated to each other, hoping they would both end the toxicity of their back and forth relationship, but they still persisted and soon, they were both violently torn with wanting to be normal, but they had to get high. there are multiples times in this film where emily is more than supportive and admits she loves cherry a few times, but in the book, she wasn’t there for him most of the time unless they were getting high together. they got divorced and they both cheated at least once on each other and i think that it would have been nice to see the struggle of their relationship and to question what kind of relationship it even was. i wanted to see the battle of “are they truly in love or are they using each other with the past they used to have” love that was in the book. i think they were brightened up too much and it’s sad that the main focus was their relationship throughout each part of the film, when reading it, to me, was really was like pulling teeth. while i can’t deny the chemistry of the characters on screen was amazing, i just didn’t like how they made them fluffy.

- the soundtrack. i’m not gonna explain much because this is truly opinionated and possibly a bit petty, but none of the songs or even instrumentals stuck with me. it didn’t make me emotional, it didn’t add to the scenes. they just weren’t for me.

- the one dimension i felt with emily’s character. now, i will say that ciara bravo acted the hell out of this role and it was amazing to see what she was given and she just ran with it. probs to her 100%, but i did think that emily’s character was completely underdeveloped in this movie. like in my previous point, emily was sort of a vice to cherry rather than a shoulder to cry on. he wanted her, he had her, he lost her a few times, he got her back, but he realized he ruined her. their whole relationship was manipulated, and i think the part where she yells at him in the bathtub is one of my favorite parts of the movie because that’s the emily i wanted to see more. she was the emily i read from the book and she was also dealing with her struggles with her home life. i think they could have given her more time.

- the madison scene. i was expecting madison to have a bigger part in part 1 where she’s only mentioned and obviously cherry had a sort of weird relationship with her, but they only explained it in a 2-3 minutes. it made it seem like she was just temporary from the start, which yes, she sort of was, but they ended up having sex & then he left her and even thought about her a few times. i just think that they could have either added more or completely cut the scene. but quoting the book there was nice too... i guess.

- everything felt rushed, and maybe that was their purpose, but i think this could have been something much more developed. what i keep saying is that this should have been a six part series. not only do you have an hour dedicated to every single part, but you also just have development of characters. that’s why we get invested in tv shows is because the characters have trials and tribulations of who they are. it was stressful and a bit boring to sit through a 2 1/2 hour movie in all honesty. i’m not saying that “oh this movie isn’t for people who have short attention spans”, but rather i would have liked to see more plot.

- the ending. i... hated the ending. it may be my least favorite part of the movie when it’s supposed to be the conclusion. maybe it’s just because a movie like this, i expect characters to be faced with the unknown, but this is a movie based on real life. the author has his own life now after jail and to see that ending? i was disappointed. instead of transition scenes of cherry’s “growth” in jail, i would have liked them to have short scenes of how his life in jail is like a god-send a bit. how he was able to step away from all the chaos he caused and he recovered somewhere with no vices around him. i don’t think it was a movie that had a “heart-warming” ending because you go through this rollercoaster of a relationship only for him to be waited for when it was not like that in the book.

overall:

i think this film was... okay. i could go on and on about the small things, but in short words, i disliked it because of it’s directing. i blame the russo brother’s execution on it, not saying that the overall product was terrible. i know some people had the same opinions and i can see why. do i plan ever watching it again? never. it’s not a movie that’s for me or a movie that i want to see pan out again because it was really hard to watch, not because of the gore or sex, but because it is a movie about struggle and pain. you don’t want to side with these characters, but goddamnit you want them to get some fucking help. great job to tom and ciara and it’s nice to know they are actually friends and trusted each other so much with this. i really hope to see them in more projects together in the future!

[garfieldandmeblog]

Garfield: The Movie

AM: There’s an interesting writing choice in Garfield: The Movie regarding the setting. It begins in a cul-de-sac, just a few miles from a large city. For Garfield, the cul de sac is safe; he knows the ins and outs, all of the neighboring cats and dogs, and it’s where he always gets his way. Anything beyond the cul de sac, however, is dangerous, unknown, even hostile, and that’s not even mentioning the city. With all of this emphasis placed on place, one begins to wonder where exactly the film takes place. One would assume that it takes place in Garfield creator Jim Davis’ home state of Indiana. Wikipedia, however, claims that it takes place in Los Angeles of all places. What’s interesting, though, is that the movie does everything its power to obscure the actual setting from the viewer. There are no signs anywhere in this film that say “Los Angeles,” no one mentions living in L.A., and there’s just no defining characteristics. It’s not even a matter of the camera crew just choosing not to shoot things that screamed L.A.; things are deliberately edited to obscure that fact. There’s a scene towards the end of Act 2 where Garfield has to go to the city to rescue Odie from the clutches of an evil infomercial personailty. On the freeway, we get a shot of the city skyline and a freeway exit sign—which reads, not Los Angeles, but “The City.” A bus’s destination sign reads “City Center.” The so-called “Los Angeles” looks more like a movie set for a film taking place in New York. You would think that, taking place in L.A., the movie would have taken the golden opportunity to take Garfield to L.A.’s iconic locales. Garfield in front of the Grauman Theatre. Garfield at the Hollywood sign. Garfield at Dodger’s Stadium. But no, none of that.

Garfield: The Movie’s setting is strange because they don’t utilize it for what you might expect. The effort the filmmakers went through to hide the truth about the setting is rather impressive, I’ll say that. It doesn’t seem like it ultimately accomplished anything though. And so, ultimately, the choices made regarding the setting resulted in an affect that is neither good, nor bad, just… there. Much like the film itself.

I give this movie 5 out of 10 lasagnas.

JK: For my final official critique here at Garfieldandme.com LLC, I will be reviewing Garfield the Movie. How did it make me feel? How does Garfield make me feel at this point? I thought I knew, but as of right now… It’s mixed.

I thought I didn’t like Garfield. I thought it would be funny to employ irony against the fat cat. When I began writing about Garfield, the original mission was to find a way in, primarily through cruel joking and punching down, every week and that was it; that was going to be the focus of this project.

But finding a way through… It requires energy. It requires an actual interest in whatever you’re writing about, whatever you’re exploring. And as the project went on and on, my interest and energy waned. It became increasingly difficult to talk Garf. The ratio of good ideas/fun writing sessions to phoning it in grew smaller and smaller. Part of the fun, at first, was acknowledging the pure magnitude of syndication Garfield has amassed. But, diving into it, getting deep, it’s hard to keep a smiling face when the material brings so little to you. Life is short, and Garf is long.

There are hidden gems in the bog of never-ending Mondays. There are glimpses of Jim Davis giving a shit. And those moments, when they come up, are worth cherishing. It compelled me to write knowing the cat was acting in an interesting way. It gave me material to work with. It gave me hope.

And then, we’d get another week of duds. Then, another. It’d go on, and I’d feel frustration, apathy, devastation, etc. over and over again. It became routine.

So, Garfield the Movie. What makes Garfield the Movie interesting? It’s Garfield’s first live-action adaptation. It stars… movie stars. Garfield is CGI. These elements are all fine. The whole movie is just fine. And that complete milquetoast quality makes the film, ironically, a great Garfield adaptation. There were times I was watching the screen and I hoped the movie would be worse, more blatantly disgusting or bold. Maybe then I could write about it.  But no, from start time to end, this movie is okay.

Bill Murray sounds like the voice Davis and Co. settled on when they brought Garf to the home television. Jon is whatever. You can have a discarded Chik Fil A wrapper replace Jon in this movie and nothing would change. Odie is lovable and fun (maybe the highlight). Jennifer Love Hewitt.. I mean, c’mon. Liz was hot already, but…

…

There’s nothing really deep here.

The only redeeming portion of the whole film is the credits. I’m serious. There, it tells another story. Comics and largely comic strips are a medium of sole ownership. Charles Schultz storyboards, Schultz draws, he signs his name in the bottom left corner. And that’s it. Film, in this critic’s opinion, is one of the most collaborative mediums of expression out there. On even the worst films (and I’m not saying Garfield runs in this camp), there are probably five or more people who gave up hours of their lives in an attempt to make you smile, to entertain you for a little bit. It’s interesting to see this many people interpreting Davis’s cat. This bird’s eye view perspective, however, does not negate how bored I felt during the film. And my opinion doesn’t really matter. The best of them, working on this project, hopefully made this to make a child (or the rare Garf fan) happy. Or they were miserable. Regardless, they all made the film. I spent an hour of my life watching. We are in this together.

We reflect whatever we spend time with. If you spend hours with the cat, you become the cat. You spend time working overtime at a job you hate, and suddenly you hate yourself. You spend the night out, maybe drinking wine with friends on a weekend, at a little bar on the outside of town. It’s August. The night is air is warm, and it looks like no one is on Wilshire tonight. Except you and people you love. You laugh and really feel it in your chest, in your stomach. You look at everyone and, maybe it’s the light, maybe it’s the Merlot, but they emanate a soft golden glow covering their forearms to their rears to their legs to their feet. You look down at yourself, and you’re glowing too.

Was it Anne Dillard who wrote “How we spend our days, of course, is how we spend our lives”? Am I remembering that correctly? What year is it? What was I doing about this? How does Garfield make me feel? How am I feeling right now? Stepping away from the cat is not easy, and in a sense, this gesture feels like stepping away from this past year in its good and nasty. I want to change my life, and so I’ll change my relationship with him. It’s small, but why not. Life is short, and Garf is long. Thanks for spending this time with me, I’ll never forget it.

Two lasagnas out of five.

[introvertguide]

Star Wars: The Franchise

Back in the mid 70s around Modesto, California, it is doubtful that George Lucas could have imagined that his idea for a space opera would become the second highest grossing movie franchise of all time. There has been some questionable content, however, since the groundbreaking original, and the returns have not been as great. There were also some one-offs that a lot of the younger fans might not be aware of. For my own sanity and organization, here is a listing of all feature length movies in the franchise:

Star Wars IV: A New Hope (1977) -

Definitely the most successful film (heck, one of the most successful films of all time) that made almost a billion dollars at the box office worldwide...in the 80s. Amazing. The story mimics the hero's journey as described by Joseph Campbell, giving it basically the most satisfying story imaginable. Nobody except for friend of George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, thought it would be as successful as it was. This kind of popularity meant there was going to be some sequels and, since George Lucas was the man behind the whole thing, only one man was about to get tasked with future success.

Star Wars Holiday Special (1978) -

This was a TV movie that was made to cash in on the massive popularity of the first movie while the second one was in production. It is terrible. I generally try to hold back judgement and point out subjective opinions, but I think I can say that this made-for-TV movie is objectively bad. It is the equivalent of a variety show, a format which was popular at the time, and it was awful. It is widely considered to be one of the worst visual productions of all time. Just to give a hint of its awfulness, the movie follows the adventures of Chewbacca's Wookie family and they only speak in growls with no interpretation or subtitles. Laughably awful.

The Empire Strikes Back (1980) -

Arguably the best of the films as far as story and plot, this film was actually directed by Irvin Kershner with a George Lucas story adapted to the screen by Lawrence Kasdan. This film is legitimately fantastic and not just new and fun. It is so well written and directed with the famous reveal between Luke and Darth Vader. It also is incredibly downbeat at the end that perfectly sets up the next film. I personally think this is the best example of fine film in the franchise, although it doesn't have as much big action and no giant space laser. Well worth watching and makes the third film a must see.

Return of the Jedi (1983) -

Well, not as good as the first two, but still pretty darn good. This film introduced the Ewoks and the Endor moon battle. Many fans thought that the introduction of living teddy bears was a mistake that distract from the story. What really made the film, apparently, was the whole sequence at the beginning that takes place at Jabba the Hut's palace and involves Princess Leia in a metal bikini. We also find out that Luke and Leia are twins, so that kiss in the second film suddenly becomes kind of awkward. This becomes kind of a theme from here on out: should we disavow canon or put in throwaway lines and scenes to cover things that were mentioned in previous movies. It plagues the prequels.

The Ewok Adventure (1984) -

I get a lot of garbage about it, but I love these movies because I grew up with them. They are not that great and the copy that I saw over and over had ads from the early 80s throughout. Heavy nostalgia. Also, some of the Ewoks were played by established actors from what is now called Episode VI, Warwick Davis as Wicket and Tony Cox as Widdle. It was a lot of fun, but definitely a higher budgeted TV movie. It did become so successful that it got a theater release as Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure. This naming style stuck around for the spin off films that were made in the late 2010s.

Ewoks: The Battle for Endor (1985) -

Hot dang, they made a second one with Wilford Brimley! Both of the Ewok films were thought up by George Lucas and sold to ABC. Both films were also given special Emmy awards for special effects. I can't fault either Ewok film as far as visuals since both got the ILM treatment. I have stated that I liked both of these movies more than some of the prequels, and I stand by that.

The Phantom Menace (1999) -

The next three films followed the first three episodes in the Star Wars saga and are now generally known as the prequels. They are also pretty widely hated. One reason for that was the introduction of young Anikan Skywalker (eventual Darth Vader) and his growing attachment to Lord Palpatine (Darth Sidious). The problem with the prequels is that it was a path leading to a result that had been established over 20 years ago in the first film. They also introduced a character named Jar-Jar Binks who was just awful. There was a great pod racing scene and an epic Sith vs. Jedi battle that really were the highlights of the film. The music was also pretty epic, but the film was otherwise not that great. It was completely made under the helm of George Lucas and fans were suddenly starting to wonder if he was the genius they had thought him to be. What I consider to be the best YouTube deep dive movie review of all time, a group called Red Letter Media made a seven part review that explains why the movie was such a problem. You can watch the first part and it will auto load all seven here:

(1) Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Review (Part 1 of 7) - YouTube

Attack of the Clones (2002) -

Alright, here is where things really start to go down hill. There is a fine actor by the name of Hayden Christiansen that is just awful in this film. He is given nothing to do for the most part. He is supposed to be this amazing Jedi general, but he spends most of his time walking around speaking in a very monotone voice. He does have some fun piloting scenes, but he is written as such a whiny brat. There are two epic battles (the coliseum and Dooku vs. Yoda) and we get to see a bounty hunter in action. It does seem like a lot of fan service glued together by boring politics and horrifically bad acting.

Revenge of the Sith (2005) -

This is widely considered the worst of the prequel movies and generally laughable at some points. There is supposed to be an epic lava battle at the end, but it is just a bunch of screaming about a failed bromance. We get to see the end of the characters in the prequel and set up the original movies...that were now almost 30 years old. It was unsatisfying and not even slightly worth the wait. It was at this time that George Lucas said that there would never be a seventh episode that would follow the original trilogy.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) -

There was a very compelling series of Star Wars shorts in 2003 made by Genndy Tartakovsky that did very well. George Lucas saw this and decided that a lot of the most interesting Star Wars events had occurred during the time between the prequels and the original series. Lucasfilm put out an animated movie to test the waters and it was so successful that 7 seasons of great animated adventures were made to show the epic battles that were supposed to take place between the second and third episode. I honestly believe that this was the very best space action of the entire franchise.

The Force Awakens (2015) -

George Lucas sold the Star Wars franchise over to Disney and fans got a new movie that was never supposed to happen. Once Disney came on board, the brand became much more prolific. Until the pandemic, there were plans to put out a Star Wars movie every year for a decade. The first was episode seven and was made by J.J. Abrams. It was similar to the first film (episode IV) in so many ways that fans started to think it was just a remake. It even had a lot of the characters from the original trilogy. It was much better received by fans following the prequels and introduced a storyline that was not already spoiled by previous movies. There was a lot of unnecessary fan service for those who loved the original trilogy. This makes since because it involved Lawrence Kasdan, who helped with the screenplay for episode five and six from the original trilogy.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) -

A full big budget release of a Star Wars movie that wasn't one of the episodes was an interesting idea. It was an entire movie to explain a throwaway line from the original 1977 movie. I lot of people died to get some plans for the big weapon in the first film and people wanted to know exactly how that happened. Actually they didn't. But Disney thought it was a good idea and it seemed like it would make a lot of money (it did). It gave the producers a chance to make a movie with new characters and only mentions of the famous story (this was important because the other actors where making the next episode).

The Last Jedi (2017) -

This was an interesting change of pace from the rest of the films because it seemed to drop the idea of the "chosen one" and say that anyone could be a Jedi. It is basically one giant escape story and is closer to Mad Max in space than it is to the other Star Wars films. It was given in full by Disney to Rian Johnson and it shows. This was the first episode film that had nothing in common with any of the production group from the original trilogy. No Kasdan, no Kirschner, no Lucas, all Disney. It was not very well received.

Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018) -

The worst performing of any of the Star Wars live action feature length films, this was the story of Han Solo. That's it. There is not a lot of history about the character and he is so cool, fans needed to have a stand alone movie about his youth. That's a lie, Disney wanted a movie to come out between episode eight and nine. This was the best that the suits could come up with and it definitely made money, but it is lame.

The Rise of Skywalker (2019) -

Well, the movie completely helmed by Rian Johnson was not popular enough so there was a total retcon situation and this film basically picked up where episode seven left off. It was the same team from episode seven (since that film was so much more popular) and they made a final film that wraps up with a bow. Sort of. There was definitely room in the film world for more Star Wars movies to be made (it is owned by Disney) and I really don't believe it is finished as a franchise.

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Just in case there are people who were nervous that this was the end of the franchise, there is currently a stand alone film called Rogue Squadron that is supposed to come out in 2023. Thank goodness. There was also the popular Mandalorian series on Disney +. But the franchise has been making huge films for almost 45 years now, so maybe it is time to stop. We have the MCU that has made almost twice as much money as the Star Wars universe, so most movie goers have picked their setting that they want to see. Maybe there could be a crossover (I am kidding, please no) and it would be the most watched film of all time.

[likesomekindofcheese]

What about the Bo Rhap boys with a reader who’s sign is Cancer?

Sure thing! Here ya go, a warm, delicious Zodiac headcanon! Enjoy!

cw: mentions of sex, drinking, and swearing.

Joe:

When you met him, you liked him at once. After all, he knew the entire Single Ladies dance frontwards and backward from each step to each hand flip!

You are naturally compatible and homebodies! When you began as friends you would sit binging shows together and then come back the next weekend and binged some more. Soon, however, kissing got involved. Whoops.

You tend to be withdrawn, needing to come back into yourself, in your skin, so Joe has the patience to deal with that. But you can also be yourself around him.

You are both also protective of your space. You make your shared home very nice and cozy. Joe has all of his shorts folded and organized by color and you have your books and plants.

There is no drama at all. There might be a bit of conflict or disagreements, but not shouting or slamming doors, just two people in love.

You provide empathy and intuitive support and he has attuned physical senses and lots of integrity.

Even though sex can be super vanilla, it is deep and meaningful, Joe even sings little silly songs in his aftercare ritual of pulling you on his chest for a bit and then getting you some water as you both talk while sitting down and the blanket draped over your shoulders.

When you cry, you sometimes don’t even know what’s going on but Joe is there for you. He chooses careful kindness overcorrection. He softens his thoughts and you even notice relaxes his body with you.

You both are Natural partners, excellent friends, and even better lovers.

Rami:

 Rami is an old school romantic, loving chocolates and flowers and cute lil shit like that. He knows your worth and what you can bring to his life.

 He takes you to candlelight dinners, plays soft music, dances with you every excuse he gets, and takes you on walks in the park. All that stuff that makes you go squeeeeee! He will pampers you, bring you small gifts, and sends handwritten love notes. 

He's a touchy-feely too. Expect for Rami to give you surprise hugs and caress your face. He makes an experience even out of a simple kiss. It’s all so much that as soon as you get home or leave to use the bathroom away from him, you are a blushing, laughing, smiling mess.

You can see Rami being a husband and father to your babies, that’s why you’re dating! You are won over. And you don’t fall in love easily or often.

You both enjoy quiet social life. Your friends love spending time with Rami and the few times you have been with the people he knows, the BohRap gang included, you feel welcomed and a part of them.

He keeps your feels in check. One time you got hurt by a friend so much you were a crying mess, Rami’s arms didn’t leave you for one second, just to keep you safe.

You share mornings strolling through antique markets, and then evenings sipping champagne by candlelight. Admiring the glow of the fire on each other's skin and comparing it.

Gwilym:

At first, Gwil seems like a player to you so you are hesitant but he is very friendly and sweet and charming and proves himself so you two end up falling for each other, whoops.

You find ways to have fun at home. You both enjoy playing board games with beer even though Gwil has his competitive streak showing and it’s hilarious to watch him lose.

Meanwhile, Gwil takes you out and shows you off. It makes you smile when he pulls you up to someone and says “this is my darling, Y/N! Jealous, yet?”

He also challenges you to have more fun and to be more active and out there. One time you were nervous to try a certain roller coaster but he made you go saying he’d buy you anything you wanted and you had fun and yelled at the top of your lungs when it got upside down.

Your living arrangement is super creative- full of your collections, your tastes, your memories, and cute photos.

You nourish Gwil and give him a home in between travels. As soon as his bags drop after being flown somewhere to film, he flat out runs to you and hugs you for a whole hour.

You are both natural friends! If you storm home from work/school/whatever, fuming, you would say “hey, you know what that bitch Abigail did?” and he would go “oh shiiiiit, what did she do?”

You are both engaged in every experience! When Gwil took you to the beach, you both didn’t talk for the first five minutes because of how lovely it was. The smell of the salt in the wind. How the sand looked a little pink at sunset. It was perfect

He learns slows the hell down and realizes and respects your moody nature. He enters your world of closeness and stability and sees joy in it.

You learn to gather your courage, take risks, mix up your schedule, and have more spontaneity. Both of your lives would have been meaningless and dull had your paths not intertwined.

Ben:

Your story together is basically like a rom com: Ben works so hard and bent on success, but on the inside, he is lonely and sad!!! So that’s where you come in! And suddenly he realizes there is more to life than just winning all the time and finds love!

You are the key to his softness! He finds rest and release in you! Sometimes Ben will be tired and just rest his blonde head on your shoulder and nothing more needs to be said. Often he even falls asleep there, wrapped around you like a koala.

Like Ben, you only appear a little cold sometimes. Beneath your cool, calm exterior you are a softie full of flower crowns and uwus. And Ben brings that out because of how secure he makes you feel.

He makes you feel accomplished. If you complete something at work or school and brag about it, he will be so proud and hug you and kiss your cheek, beaming. He gives you stability as well! With his movie money coming in, he’s happy to help you out when you need it.

When he’s unsure, you use your intuition to help him. If Ben goes to you and says “hey, should I accept this role?” You will go and say “I have a funny feeling about it, so probably not.” Then that movie or show turns out to be a humiliating flop. When Ben reads that review, he laughs for an hour and thanks you (”you’re blood psychic!”)

 He also uses his strength when you are feeling low. You can rely on him as your rock.

You show love through making him food, spending long hours together, and well intended nagging! (Which Ben secretly loves bc it means you can take control and keep him in check).

Sometimes Ben isn’t sure if he is good enough for you. Sometimes you feel a little jealous of women who oogle and flirt with him. This is healed when you show physical signs of affection to each other. Lovemaking heals your fears and doubts of rejection from the other, you both feel assured. And afterward, he spoons you and kisses your head, you feel his soft voice and hot breath whisper “I love you”.

He means it too.

Taglist: @queenlover05

[phantom-le6]

Episode Reviews - Star Trek: The Next Generation Season 4 (6 of 6)

To round of my look into season 4 of Star Trek: The Next Generation, here are my reviews of that season’s last two episodes.

Episode 25: In Theory

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Lt. Commander Data and Lt. Jenna D'Sora are in the torpedo room configuring several probes with which the Enterprise will explore a nearby nebula. D'Sora explains that her ex who she just split up with has asked her to dinner, prompting Data to remind her why they broke up as part of a standing agreement between the pair of them. Later they play together in a chamber concert along with Keiko O'Brien. D'Sora complains of her abilities as a musician, but Data insists that he could not hear anything wrong.

 Later, on the bridge, Data is reviewing the information from the probes sent into the nebula. He theorises that life might have evolved differently in the nebula because of the volume of dark matter detected. Captain Picard orders the ship to the nearest planet within the nebula. Data and Jenna configure further probes, when she kisses him on the cheek and then on the lips, before leaving the room. Data seeks the opinion of his friends, specifically Picard, Guinan, Geordi La Forge, Commander Riker, Counsellor Troi and Lt. Worf. Data decides to pursue the relationship and goes to Jenna's cabin with a bunch of flowers, where he informs her that he created a romantic subroutine for the relationship.

 Meanwhile, the Enterprise is approaching an M-class planet within the nebula. Picard enters his ready room and finds his belongings scattered on the floor. He calls in Worf, who cannot explain their displacement. Jenna arrives at Data's cabin where he is painting. She tells him to continue, but is then annoyed when he does so, causing him some confusion. The ship arrives at the coordinates for the planet but finds nothing there. Then it suddenly appears as the ship's computer warns of a depressurization in the observation lounge. The crew investigate and find all the furniture piled in one corner of the room.

 Data visits Jenna, but she seems unhappy and he is acting erratically in order to find an appropriate response to make her happy. It becomes evident to the crew that the nebula is causing distortions in space; Picard orders the ship into warp to leave the nebula as quickly as possible but this speeds up the distortions. Whilst investigating them, Lieutenant Van Mayter is killed when a distortion embeds her into the deck. Data discovers that dark matter is causing the distortions. The ship can detect the pockets at short range, but not in enough time to move out of the way. Worf proposes using a shuttle to lead the Enterprise out, and Picard insists on piloting it alone.

 Picard pilots the shuttle through the field of distortion pockets; he is initially successful, but the shuttle is damaged near the perimeter of the nebula. Chief Miles O'Brien transports the Captain back to the ship before the shuttle is destroyed. However, the Enterprise is now near enough to the edge of the nebula to no longer need the shuttle to scout ahead, and they quickly depart. Afterwards, Jenna reveals to Data in his quarters that she broke up with her boyfriend because he was emotionally unavailable and then pursued Date because he was the same. Data realises that she is breaking up with him and explains that he will delete the subroutine. Jenna departs and Data is seemingly unperturbed, although his cat, Spot, jumps into his lap as if to comfort him.

Review:

This episode was Patrick Stewart’s directorial debut on the show, following on the heels of fellow cast member Jonathan Frakes taking a shot at directing during the previous season.  Like Frakes, Stewart was handed a Data episode to do, and in some respects it’s a good episode.  In others, it’s less brilliant, specifically having a techno-babble B-plot thrown in because TNG was very much enslaved to the idea that the character always had to have an enemy or an anomaly putting them at risk, regardless of whatever else might be going on.  This plot doesn’t inter-connect with the A-plot except for both things happening in the same episode, and it includes Picard playing shuttle pilot when he’s not really the TNG character of note by way of piloting skills.  In fact, TNG and DS9 never really had a definitive helm officer in the way that the original series had Sulu and Voyager had Tom Paris, which when you have to do an episode with this kind of B-plot is a bit of a must.

 However, the meat of the episode is Data making forays into the world of romantic relationships, and to some degree I appreciate how some of his behaviours in this area are quite autistic.  His asking around the majority of the main cast and Guinan for advice, his inability to pick up relationship skills ‘on the fly’, and his emulation of stereotypical romantic interactions rather than just being himself are all things I can see someone on the spectrum doing.  Hell, I’ve done them all in my own unique way, and I can’t help but cringe a little reflecting on that.

 However, Data is only able to go so far both with his relationship and with his representation of the autistic mindset in this scenario because he lacks emotion.  I understand that this was meant to be the point; according to Memory Alpha, a lot of original series fan mail for Spock was from women who felt they could reach the character’s suppressed emotional core.  This episode was born of a fascination with this aspect of fandom, only it was written to see if a romantic relationship could work with a being who was hard-wired not to feel any emotion, to really explore the ‘ghost in the machine’ concept through Data.

 This, for me, is where the episode’s main plot really loses efficacy, because by definition a romantic relationship requires emotion, and as such Data was never going to succeed.  Frankly, I’d rather have seen them hold this plot off until the films when Data is finally given license to have emotions.  It would have been great to see Data have a romantic relationship then, because it would have been a more complete, well-rounded exploration of his status as an autism metaphor within the world of Trek.  As it is, characters like Voyager’s Doctor and Seven of Nine end up serving better in this capacity.

 It’s also disappointing to see that, not unlike some of my own early experiences in romance, Data isn’t being approached out of a genuine romantic interest on the part of Jenna.  To her, he’s basically a re-bound fling; she’s struggling with being single again, keeps having to be reminded why this is so, and tries to make something happen with Data to ‘fill the void’.  It’s not unlike how some girls used to pretend to go out with me to test, and mock, my gullibility, and for me it’s right up there with people who go out with someone just to avoid being single (done that), or to get something else like a roof over their head or cash.  To my mind, no one should ever do anything like this; if you want a romantic relationship with someone, it should be real romance or nothing.

 If you want a fling, a rebound or anything similar, then you seek out something more casual like friends-with-benefits, and you say that’s what you want up-front.  Leading people on is never ok, and it seems to me it only happens because of neurotypical selfishness and unwillingness to talk about you want before anything happens. The model of discussion-first-action-second is something that already exists within certain forms of sex play, and it’s probably going to gain wider and wider use over time for consent in general, and it’s exactly the kind of thing that would not only make all relationships more autism-friendly, but it would also vastly reduce the potential for being misled.

 What would have improved this episode, aside from Data actually having emotions, would have been to see the female guest character seek him out just from general attraction with no recent ex being mentioned, and perhaps having the B-Plot put the A-Plot characters in danger more directly.  That would have helped the B-Plot gain some additional worth and would have created a dramatic scene that would have more conclusively answered the ‘ghost in the machine’ question around Data.  As it is, it’s a middling episode and a poor showing for something Data-centric; I give it 5 out of 10.

Episode 26: Redemption (Part 1)

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Captain Picard and the Enterprise are asked to attend the installation of Gowron as the Leader of the Klingon High Council, as it is Picard’s final duty as the Arbiter of Succession. Gowron intercepts the Enterprise en route and informs Picard that the House of Duras will challenge Gowron's position, which may lead to a Klingon civil war. Picard states he cannot intervene beyond his role as arbiter, and asks Worf to escort Gowron to the transporter room. There, Worf informs Gowron of the truth about his discommendation; Gowron thanks Worf for killing Duras, but explains that he cannot clear Worf’s name because he needs the support of the council, many of whom are loyal to Duras. Worf then requests a leave of absence from Picard to visit his brother, Kurn, who controls a small fleet of Birds of Prey, and to urges him to back Gowron. Worf plans to use this support as leverage so that once installed as the Leader, Gowron can reinstate their family name.

 Interrupting the ceremony, the Duras sisters present their deceased brother's illegitimate son, Toral, who has the lineage to challenge Gowron. Picard is called on to determine Toral's candidacy. Relying on Klingon law, Picard comes to the conclusion that Toral is too inexperienced to be Leader, and secures Gowron's candidacy. This, however, prompts a majority of the council members to abandon Gowron. Gowron returns to his ship to meet with Worf, who offers his brother's fleet's support in exchange for the return of his family name to honor. Gowron initially refuses, but they are attacked by two ships loyal to the House of Duras. Worf and the arrival of Kurn's fleet dispatch the attackers. Picard completes the rite and installs Gowron as Leader; Gowron restores Worf's family honor.

Gowron and the Enterprise crew learn that the Duras sisters are assembling a fleet to incite a civil war. As the Federation cannot get involved in internal affairs of the Klingon Empire, Worf resigns his commission from Starfleet to assist Gowron and Kurn. As the Enterprise evacuates the area before fighting begins, Toral and the Duras sisters consider Picard a coward, but their Romulan ally, a woman bearing an uncanny resemblance to the late Tasha Yar, emerges from the shadows and warns them that Picard may return.

Review:

Apparently, this episode was originally planned as the season 3 cliff-hanger finale, but had to be delayed because those working on the show who wanted this episode really had to fight for it.  Apparently, Gene Roddenberry didn’t want to do any kind of war stories, even if that war was internal to the Klingons and not something the Federation got involved in.  Granted, I don’t think this episode could be as good as it is without everything leading up to it, and part of that groundwork lays here in the fourth season as well as the third and second.  Nevertheless, it seems that once again Roddenberry was taking his idealism one step too far, and I’m guessing him having to step back from production of the show due to increasingly ill health around this time was the only reason we got this episode.

 Being only one part of a larger story, of course, the episode loses out a little for not being quite as self-contained as it otherwise would be as a one-part episode.  However, it delivers a lot for part 1 of a two-part narrative; we finally see Worf get his discommendation lifted and Gowron take command of the Klingon Empire, only to then see Worf resign his commission when Picard won’t wade into the civil war, even though we all know by now Picard should realise it’s not even remotely an all-Klingon affair.  Picard and Worf are well aware that the Duras family are thick as thieves with the Romulans, and they’ve had the recent events of ‘The Mind’s Eye’ to illustrate to them that dividing the Federation and Klingon Empire is high on their agenda.  Surely Picard should have been able to put 2 and 2 together in this part and sided with Gowron outright, rather than appearing to cling to the Prime Directive.

 This is where TNG, and Trek as a whole, falls down a little; it can’t seem to come up with a consistent approach to the Prime Directive.  Some episodes it gets broken, others it gets adhered to, and at times you’ll get a non-adherence for a situation that in a later or earlier episode saw the rule being upheld. Back in season 1, Picard was willing to dare the wrath of the Edo’s ‘god’ to save Wesley Crusher from execution, but in this episode, Picard won’t act to save Worf when Gowron’s ship gets fired upon. Both times someone from the Enterprise was in danger, so surely Picard should take the same actions, but he doesn’t. I can’t tell if this meant to be a follow-on from ‘The Drumhead’ and they stupidly cut out some exposition where Picard says ‘we have to be extra careful now to avoid another Satie-style witch-hunt’, or if it’s just a lack of attention to continuity.

 For me, this episode really relies on Worf and Gowron to carry it, as Picard’s so-called ‘tightrope walking’ just makes him look decidedly unheroic and not a little ruthless.  Honestly, this episode would have benefited from a more Kirk-ian/Sisko-esque style of captain.  Overall, I give it 7 out of 10.

[dukereviewsxtra]

Duke Reviews Xtra: A Goofy Movie

Hello, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews Xtra, Where Today We Are Continuing Our Look At Disney...

And Last Sunday On Duke Reviews I Did A Look At The Disney Animated Movies That Were Entirely Made Up Of Shorts Which Got Me Thinking That Three Caballeros Is Basically Donald Duck The Movie...

So Why Not Look At The 2 Films Starring Goofy, Starting With, Of Course, A Goofy Movie...

I Got To Tell You, Guys I Am Not The Biggest Fan Of This Movie, Not That It's Not Good It's Just Not High On My List Of Disney Animated Movies But After Hearing That It Has A Cult Following I Suddenly Got Interested...

Is The Movie Better Than I Thought It Was?

Let's Find Out As We Watch A Goofy Movie...

The Film Starts With A Dream Max (Voiced By Jason Marsden) Is Having About The Girl Of His Dreams, Roxanne..

When Suddenly..

(Start At 1:20, End At 1:44)

I Got To Tell You Guys, When I Saw That Scene When I Was A Kid, It Scared Me...

Waking Up From His Nightmare, Max Gets A Phone Call From His Friend, P.J. Who Tells Him That He's Late For School. So, He Gets Ready Only For His Dad, Goofy (Voiced By Bill Farmer) To Burst In To Do Some Vacuuming...

Eventually Ready To Go, Goofy Gives Max His Lunch Before We Go Into Our First Song, After Today...

(Start At 1:30, End At 3:35)

First, I Think It's Okay But Not That Great Of A Song, And Second, I Think I Should Mention That The Singing Voice Of Max Is Former Mighty Duck And Now, Mr. Idina Menzel, Aaron Lohr...

Tell You The Truth, That Kind Of Makes Me Wonder If Anyone Has Done An Elsa/Max Fanfiction Because Of That...

Meeting His Friends, P.J. (Voiced By Yakko Warner) And Bobby (Voiced By The Person Who Owns The Tenth Circle Of Hell, Pauly Shore) In The Hallway, They Hijack The Auditorium Stage In The Middle Of Principal Mazur's (Voiced By Rex, Who's Going For Fearsome But Is Just Coming Off As Annoying) Speech..

And Create A Small Concert Where Max Tries To Impress Roxanne By Performing While Costumed As Powerline Which Leads To Our Somewhat Next Song, Stand Out...

(Start At 1:29, End At 2:54)

And I Think Next To Let It Go, This Is The Most Parodied Disney Song On YouTube...

Not That It's A Bad Song, I Like It, It's A Great Song, But I've Seen So Many Parodies Of This On YouTube It's Gotten To Let It Go Levels...

Stopped By Mazur, Max, P.J., And Bobby Get Detention But Max Gets What He Wanted As Roxanne Invites Him To A Party Her Friend Is Having To Watch The Powerline Concert...

But Unbeknownst To Max, Mazur Calls Goofy, Overreacting About What Max Did To The Point It Has Goofy Thinking That Max Is Going To The Electric Chair Which Leads Goofy To Decide That It's Time To Re-Establish His Relationship With His Son, By Going On A Fishing Trip To Lake Destiny In Idaho...

Despite Trying To Dissuade Goofy From Doing This, Max Is Shoved Into The Family Car And They Take Off. However, Convincing His Dad To Stop By Roxanne's Quickly, Max Lies Telling Her That He Can't Go To The Party Because He's Going To Be At The Powerline Concert...

With Roxanne Buying The Lie, Goofy And Max Take Off On Their Uneasy Road Trip As We Get Our Next Song, On The Open Road....

And I Like This Song...

I Love The Up Tempo Beat And I Enjoy The Mickey Mouse And Donald Duck Cameo In The Song..

Starting The Trip At Lester's Possum Park, They Watch A Country Bear Jamboree Style Show Only For Max To Be Embarrassed Afterwards When A Possum Falls Into His Pants And Goofy Forces Him To Dance...

Attempting To Hitchhike Home, Max Eventually Decides To Get In The Car With His Dad And Drive Off As The 2 Say Nothing To Each Other...

The Next Day, They Camp In The Forest Only To Run Into Pete And P.J. Before They Have A Fishing Practice Session Where Goofy Teaches Max Something He Calls The Perfect Cast...

However, When They Do The Perfect Cast, They Steal One Of Pete's Steaks And Accidentally Capture Bigfoot. Locking Themselves In Their Car, They Spend The Night In There...

However, While Goofy Is Sleeping, Max Changes The Road Map Destination From Idaho To Low Angeles. Stopping At A Diner For Breakfast, Goofy Decides To Make Max Official Navigator Of The Trip, Unaware Of The Change In Direction...

So, The 2 Go To Places That Max And Goofy Like And The 2 Rebuild Their Relationship While Having Fun.

(Start At 1:31, End At 3:12)

But When They Meet Up With Pete And P.J. Again At The Motel They're Staying At, Pete Discovers That Max Changed The Map And How They're Headed For L.A. Instead Of Idaho...

Telling Goofy, He Doesn't Believe Pete At First But After Checking The Map, Goofy Discovers That Pete Isn't Lying. The Next Day, They Approach A Highway Junction Where Left Goes To L.A. And Right Goes To Idaho, Max Picks Left, Knowing That Max Did Not Choose The Route To Idaho...

With Goofy Angry, He Stops The Car At A Mountain Viewpoint And Storms Off To Think Things Through..

(Start At 1:27, End At 3:50)

This Leads Into Our Next Song, Nobody Else But You..

(Start At 1:09)

And It's A Good Song And It Seems Very Emotional But It's Just Not My Favorite Song In This..

So, Explaining To Goofy About Why He Wanted To Go To The Powerline Concert In The First Place, Goofy Completely Understands And Decides To Take Him To L.A. But Unfortunately They're Approaching A Large Waterfall...

(Start At 0:52)

This Leads Into Our Next Song As Max And Goofy Arrive At The Concert, I2I...

And This Is Probably The Best Song In This Movie..

I Mean It, I Absolutely Love This Song And Every Time I Hear It, I Sing Along And Dance With It..

The Next Day, Goofy And Max Pull Up To Roxanne's House In Their Car So Max Can Tell Her The Truth. Forgiving Him Mainly Because She Has Liked Him Ever Since He Heard Max Laugh, They Make A Deal Not To Lie Anymore Before Sealing It With A Kiss..

But When Goofy's Car Blows Up, He Crashes Through The Roof Of Roxanne's Porch Which Leads Max To Introduce Him To Her...

And That's A Goofy Movie And It's...Complicated...

While I Do Like Some Of The Songs, The Rest Of The Movie Is Just Okay And It's Better Off Being A Direct To DVD Movie Than Just A Stand Alone Movie But I Guess If Nothing Was On I'd Watch It So I Say See It...

Tune In Tomorrow As We Look At The Direct To DVD Sequel To This Movie, An Extremely Goofy Movie, Till Then, This Is Duke, Signing Off...

[s4msepiol]

Headcanon #3 | Valedictorian

Title: Valedictorian

Type: Fluff

Prompt: What kind of student was he in high school / college and how the two of you met.

Pairing: Elliot | Josh | Steve | Finn | Reader

Elliot and you were in computer class together.

No need to say that he was there just for the diploma, his IT skills being already better than the teacher’s ones.

Elliot always sat at the computer at the very back of the class, not bothering with putting his hood down unless he was asked to.

You could count on one hand the number of times you had heard Elliot’s raspy voice.

Even for the roll call, he would just raise his hand in the air at the mention of his name.

The few times Elliot granted you the sound of his voice was when the teacher, thinking that Elliot wasn’t paying attention and annoyed by his skills, tried to catch him off guard by asking him a trick question about this or that type of malware.

Questions to which Elliot always responded correctly without even having to think about it.

The two of you got closer on a Monday.

You were struggling with a particularly hard exercise. You had to find the security breach of a software before the virus destroyed all data on the computer.

Elliot didn’t help you at first. He stayed there, silent, staring at nothing but your face and your hands on the keyboard.

You find the security breach pretty quickly.

The hardest part was to destroy the virus all the while protecting the data in a minimum of time.

Every student but you had given up.

And just when you were about to do so, you felt someone move behind your back.

Elliot passed his arms above you to have access to your keyboard.

“Okay… so your code is good, very good actually. All you gotta do now is to redirect the traffic to a zone that isn’t damaged yet and…”

“… stop the virus before it reaches that zone.”

“Exactly.” Elliot said with a soft smile, suddenly feeling a little less lonely in the classroom.

“Thank you, Elliot.”

“That’s nothing… I’m sure you would have figured it out without my help.” He answered as the bell rang.

From that day, Elliot and you sat next to each other at the back of the class, not saying a word to each other most of the time but exchanging knowing glances whenever the teacher would come back to Elliot with his trick questions.

And before you even noticed it, this course turned into a private lesson between Elliot and you while the other students followed the academic program.

“Y/N, you’re sure you don’t want to follow the ‘regular’ program? I mean… I won’t be offended if you decided to.” Elliot whispered while you were coding all the while keeping an eye on the teacher for him not to notice what the two of you were up to.

“Elliot… He’s teaching them how to create a website and you’re teaching me how to hack it. Trust me, I’m having way more fun than them at the moment.” You answered (pretending not to see the smile that was creeping onto Elliot’s face), your eyes glued to the screen not to make a mistake that could be lethal to your program.

The closer the end of the year was getting; the more comfortable Elliot was getting with you.

He finished the final test an hour before everyone else.

You totally aced your final thanks to Elliot’s help, even though you were quite sad at the idea of no longer seeing him once a week.

He waited outside the class for you to finish the test.

“So… How did it go?” He asked you the minute you passed the door.

“Pretty good actually, even though I’m convinced that having you as a ‘private tutor’ gave me a clear advantage over others.”

“Trust me, I have nothing to do with that… They’re idiots and …you’re not.” Elliot answered low avoiding your gaze.

And just when you were about to leave, Elliot said:

“Hum Y/N… I thought that… maybe we could keep on with our private lessons… Not that you need it, that’s not what I mean but… I just thought that… Shit…”

“I would love to.” You interrupted him before he got himself even more uncomfortable. “What do you think about that coffee shop on the 4th Avenue, the WIFI is fast and their coffee is to die for.”

“It sounds all right to me.” Elliot stated before the two of you headed to the coffee shop.

Josh and you were in a class called “Introduction to Motion Picture Directing 101” together.

He was, besides you, the only student that hadn’t enrolled this course thinking that it would consist in watching movies and sleeping at the back of the class.

You met Josh on a Tuesday.

“Excuse me, Y/N is that it? Mind if I sit here?” Josh asked you a few minutes before class started.

“No, no please do.” You answered with a soft smile.

Josh sat next to you and stared at you for a minute, as if he was searching for something to say, but just when he was about to speak the teacher entered the room.

Josh was really focused on the course, noting down everything the teacher said.

“Now, can anybody tell me who popularized the dolly zoom and explain this technique in a few words for the dunces at the back of the class?”

Not wanting to bring attention to yourself, you simply wrote those words on your notebook: Hitchcock = Moving away + Zooming In.

“Come on, my five-year-old daughter could answer that… How do you want to work in this industry if you’re not even able to…”

“Hitchcock.” Josh answered all of a sudden, making you smirk. “It basically consists in moving the camera away from the subject whilst zooming in.” He finished.

“Good. Very good. In what movie did he first use it?”

“Vertigo. But I prefer the way Tobe Hooper uses it in Poltergeist.”

You instantly liked how spontaneous he was when speaking, not boasting or pontificating, just talking about something he was passionate about.

One morning you were standing at your locker to organize your books for your morning classes when Josh came to you.

“You had the answer the other day, in class, but you didn’t say it.”

“This kind of icebreaker is great for movies Washington, but in real life most people stick to ‘hello’.”

“Alright. I get it. Don’t want people to know you’re smart.” He stated, leaning against the locker next to yours.

“You just have me all figured out, huh?”

“Not at all, but smart and pretty that’s something I don’t get to see very often.”

“You’re gonna be a great director Washington, but honestly, delegate the dialogue writing to someone else.” You retorted, softly tapping on his shoulder before grabbing your books and heading to your next class.

Getting out of your French class you ran into Josh again.

“So French, huh? I figured you’d be more into math or something.” Josh declared, walking with you to the class you shared.

“Please tell me you didn’t just time that so I’d walk right past you.”

“You know that guy that works three hours a day at the reception: fairly tall, puny, glasses?”

“The secretary’s starter pack, in short.” You answered, making him laugh as he opened the door of the classroom for you.

“Well… He might happen to be my best friend, and he might have been able to get me your schedule…” He started, suddenly interrupted by the astounded look on your face.

“Okay… Granted, this totally sounds weird but before you say anything, just know that I only did this with noble attentions.” Josh explained, whispering for the teacher not to notice the two of you.

“Yeah, who knows? I could get sucked into the Matrix during lunch break.” You retorted whispering, nervously tapping your pencil against your notebook.

You couldn’t tell how or why but Josh was slowly growing on you.

“Okay, what I would like you to do for next week is to put yourselves into groups of two and write a ten-page synopsis for the sequel to the movie of your choice.” The teacher explained.

After class, Josh caught up with you in the hallway.

“Usual Suspects, Leon the Professional or Pulp Fiction. Interstellar, why not but there’s no way we’re gonna be able to learn everything about quantum physic in less than a week.” You said low, lost deep in your thoughts.

“Wait, you’re being serious? I thought I’d have to beg you for an entire week for you to work with me.”

“Let’s review my options: I have the choice between that weird guy at the last row who’s probably gonna want to write a sequel for a porn he would have seen the night before, Blondie at the first row who secretly dreams to write an umpteenth sequel for Twilight and… you: who, despite everything, probably stays the only person in that class that is really passionate about this course.”

Josh stayed there, a dumb smile plastered on his face.

“Please say something or I’m gonna start to think that this Twilight thing isn’t that bad.”

“The word ‘porn’ has never sounded better than from your lips.”

Working on that project with Josh has been a total mess.

You can’t quite tell when you realized this wouldn’t go as any other group project.

Maybe it was when you accepted that the two of you would work at his place.

“And… we’re almost done, only one page left.” You stated as you finished typing the sentence Josh was dictating you.

“Cool. Now what would you say of… going to the movie?”

“Josh…”

“Okay. What about… going out and get something to eat?”

“…”

“… or we could just have sex right now, if that’s what you want. Wait… No, forget that. I got a better idea. What if I introduced you to my mother so that we can start looking for a caterer and working on the seating chart?”

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“Nope.” Josh answered with a warm smile. “Except if it’s really bothering you. In that case, you won’t have to ask twice.” He finished on a much more serious tone, putting himself back to work.

“Grab your jacket. They’re showing the new Adam McKay film downtown, if we leave now we should get there before it starts.” You declared, getting up.

Josh’s smile getting so wide at your words.

“You’re sure we don’t have the time for you to meet my mother before?” He asked you, putting his jacket on.

You weren’t sure why you had decided to enroll in a course called Speech 217 ‘The Art of Informal Remarks’.

To be honest the first class you had had with Miss Tainot did nothing but confirm the fact that you should have chosen another option.

And just when you were pondering the idea of switching to another course called Accounting 142 ‘Bookkeeping and Taxation’, you noticed someone even more out of place than you.

Steve got there 30 minutes late.

He tried to take a seat as discretely as possible, but his skateboard decided otherwise.

“Who are you?” The teacher inquired.

“Steve Dibiasi. D-I-B-I-A-S-I.”

“Why are you here, Steve?” Miss Tainot asked the young man.

“Dean of Student Services said your class would change my life.”

You smiled at Steve’s naivety as you were pretty sure you had heard that man say the exact same thing to three other students the day before.

Steve took a seat and spent the rest of the class on his phone.

“Next week, each of you is going to address the class for the first time on a subject of my choice.” Miss Tainot explained, putting an end to the class.

But Steve really first caught your attention on a Wednesday.

You were working on your oral presentation at the library when you noticed Steve working a few tables away from yours.

You can’t really tell what surprised you the most.

Seeing a guy like Steve at the library or the effort he seemed to put in his presentation.

He was surrounded by books about rhetoric and oral speech, each thicker than the other.

Steve looked exhausted. He had been there longer than you had, at least that was what his yawns betrayed.

As it was getting late, you decided to borrow the book you were working on and to go back home.

There were only a few students left at the library. Steve had left a few minutes before, probably realizing that in the battle opposing him to the tiredness he wouldn’t come out a winner.

In the line for book lending, you were once again blaming yourself for not having chosen a course that wouldn’t have implied a bitter teacher and the obligation to do an oral presentation once a week when a familiar voice snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Mrs., please. I’m having this very important presentation tomorrow in the morning and I really need a good mark in this course if I want to pass this semester.”

“I’m sorry Mr. Dibiasi but that’s our library policy. You can’t borrow more than eight books.” The librarian answered, barely paying attention to the young man standing in front of her.

“Yeah I know, that’s what you’ve been repeating for the past twenty minutes. Mrs, I really need those books, and I was hoping that… you could make an exception, you know like in cases of force majeure…” Steve insisted, his voice heavy with exhaustion.

“Those are the rules. Members can borrow up to eight items from a statewide collection that includes a great range of fiction and non-fiction books, magazines, DVDs and CDs.” The old woman explained on a monotonous tone closer to an automatic answering telephone than to a human.

The sigh Steve gave her in response was more evocative than a thousand words.

“Come on dude… We don’t have all day…” You heard a student say behind you.

“You know what? Forget it. I don’t even know what…” Steve started.

“I’m taking them.” You declared all of a sudden, handing your library card to the woman behind the computer who scanned the books before handing them to you.

“Here… you go.” You declared, placing the books on top of the pile Steve had already in hand.

“Thank you. You really didn’t have to.” Steve thanked you, as the two of you got out of the library.

“That’s nothing, really. Their loan policy is bullshit anyway.”

You were about to go home when you were stopped by Steve’s voice.

“Wait! I don’t even know your name!” Steve shouted behind you. By the tone of his voice you could tell he was smiling.

“Y/N!” You shouted in response, before going home.

“…Thank you for your attention.” You finished, concluding your presentation.

While you spoke, Steve couldn’t keep his eyes off of you.

“Great work, Y/N. Already looking forward to hearing your next presentation.” Miss Tainot complimented you as you were greeted with a round of applause launched by Steve himself.

“And last but not least… Mr. Dibiasi, it’s your turn.” Miss Tainot announced.

You noticed Steve’s foot was tapping in anxiety.

“Okay, you’re gonna dig it.” He said, probably in an attempt to reassure himself.

“Are you clairvoyant?” Miss Tainot retorted.

“No. Steve Dibiasi.” He answered, making you chuckle.

“… If it was the romance novelist in him that made Victoria, the Queen, such a pal, chalk it up as another brick in the legacy of Ben Disraeli, Earl of Beaconsfield, educator, and Prime Minister of Great Britain!” Steve concluded.

You had to admit that Steve’s speech wasn’t the most formal presentation you had heard in your life but you were sure of two things after listening to him.

One, that he had put all his heart in this presentation and the memory of him at the library did nothing but confirm that.

Two, that no matter how informal his presentation was, it didn’t deserve the mocking laughter that overcame every student but you in the classroom.

You gave him a compassionate smile but that’s what you did next that caught him off guard.

You applauded.

And even though the room was filled with mocking laughter, the sound of your hands was the only sound Steve decided to pay attention to.

The next day, you were heading to one of your classes when someone ran smack into you, knocking your books and papers all over the floor. (s4msepiol, provider of romantic clichés since 1999.)

“Shit… I’m really…” Steve began, interrupting himself midsentence when he realized who he had ‘run into’ “… sorry.”.

“Don’t be. That’s nothing.” You answered as he helped you pick your books.

“No, really. You helped me the other day at the library and… you’re the only one who hadn’t made fun of me yesterday, and here I am ruining your copy of…” He stopped again, midsentence, reading the title on the cover of your book. “… Sybil… by Benjamin Disraeli.” Steve finished, smiling.

Once all your stuff picked up from the floor, you thanked Steve but he stopped you before you could head to your next class.

“Y/N! Wait!” Steve said, making you turn around. “Hum… What would you say of… if we…” He stopped, took a deep breath and went on. “Would you like to go for a drink with me?” He asked you, tightening his grip on his skateboard in anxiety.

“I’d love to.”

Steve gave you for only answer, a smile.

A smile that went clear up to his light green eyes.

“Why are you smiling?” You asked, not caring about the bell indicating that it was high time for you to leave Steve and to go to your next class.

“My pals didn’t believe me when I told them this class would change my life.”

Finn and you were in technology class together.

Most of the time, he would show up 20 minutes late, his t-shirt stained with motor oil.

“Sorry for being late.”

“All right, Finn. Why don’t you take that empty seat next to Y/N, and we’ll get started with the lesson.”

He would usually spend half of the class searching on the internet for spare parts for the car he was working on.

And the other half looking at you, thinking that you were not noticing it and trying (in vain) to find something to say for the two of you to get to know each other.

One Thursday morning, as you parked your car on the campus parking an idiot hit your car.

An idiot whose t-shirt was stained with motor oil.

“It’s official, my parents are gonna kill me.” You said, watching the damages on your back bumper.

“Shit Y/N, you’re okay?” Finn asked you as he got out of his car, not even caring about the damages on his car.

For some reason, his voice was full of concern.

“Yeah, don’t worry. More scared than hurt.”

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. I was paying attention to… something else.” Finn apologized while scrutinizing your face to be sure you weren’t hurt.

“Hey Finn, trust me it’s nothing, I’m fine. Your car took the worst of it actually.”

“Don’t worry about that, that’s nothing. But there’s no way you’re paying for repairing that.” He said showing your back bumper and started looking for something in his backpack.

He took out a pen and a piece of paper that he placed on the hood of his car before starting to write.

“Here take this… Ask for me once you’ll be there.” Finn said with a soft smile, handing you the piece of paper.

You nodded and were about to go to your first class of the day when you heard Finn’s voice behind you.

“Oh and Y/N…”

“Yeah?” You asked, turning around to face him.

“Have a nice day.”

At the end of the day, you drove to the garage.

You were about to enter when you overheard a conversation.

“No, you got to be kiddin’ me.” Someone declared in between waves of laughter. “Okay, so let’s sum up the situation. Finn, a man that repairs cars since he was 12, that went all the way to South Dakota to get his license at 14 and who never had a single ticket in his whole life, you want me to buy that this guy is implied in a fender bender?”

“He hasn’t even told you the best part yet.” Another man said.

“The person driving the other car is the girl he has been telling us about for weeks.” A third man explained, triggering another wave of laughter.

“Okay, okay I see… So now I have two hypotheses and you better tell me the truth.” The first man warned Finn. “Number one, you were driving, you realized she was there and suddenly you just ‘forgot’ how to drive. Number two, you totally did it on purpose so that she’d spend the whole afternoon here with you.”

“Yeah, what girl would say no to ‘Hey! I almost killed you, what about going to the movie?’.” Finn retorted.

“So?”

“So I was driving, I realized she was there and… suddenly my eyes were more focused on her than on the road.”

“Oh men… I think our little Finn is in love.”

“Well, this is a first.”

“Out. All of you. Now. There’s no way you guys are meeting her.”

For some reason, that’s the moment you chose to knock on the metallic door.

“Hey, Y/N.” Finn said with a large smile, dropping everything he was doing to greet you.

“Hey, how you doing?”

“Good.” He seemed nervous. “So what do you say we get started?” Finn asked, showing your car.

“Yeah, totally.”

“So… Finn, aren’t you going to introduce your friend?” The tallest of the three men said while patting Finn’s back.

“Well Y/N, this is Tobey, Pete, Joe and the rude guy over there is Benny, but you can call him Liar One. Guys, this is Y/N.”

After a few jokes at Finn’s expense, the guys decided to go grab a beer.

“Oh and Y/N, keep an eye on him. Finn has been a bit… ‘distracted’ lately.” Tobey joked, exchanging a knowing look with Joe and Benny, before they left.

“Sorry for… that. They’re not used to having a girl around here.” Finn apologized, before he started working on your car.

There was something oddly mesmerizing watching Finn working on that car.

His pants hung low on his hips, his face was covered with motor oil, and he stuck out his tongue from the corner of his mouth when he was concentrating.

“Y/N… Could you hand me the spark plug wrench? It looks like a big…” Finn asked you, stopping midsentence when he noticed you were already handing him the right tool.

“Interesting…” He noted, taking the tool you were handing him.

The two of you spent the evening chatting about this and that while Finn repaired your car.

“Okay… I’m think I’m done.” Finn announced, sliding out from under the car.

“The good news is that it looked much worse than it was.” He explained, standing in front of the car and wiping his hands with an old cloth. “The bad news is that your tail light is dead so I’m gonna have to order the part.”

“Okay. How long do you think it will take?

“Given the model of your car… At least one week but I must admit that I don’t like the idea of you driving without it, especially by night.”

Once again, you noticed an ounce of concern in his voice.

And before you could even mention the concept of ‘taking the bus for a week’, Finn spoke.

“So… what would you say of… me being your private driver for the week? I promise that, apart from this morning incident, I’m the best driver you can find.” He asked you, rubbing his neck before giving you that warm smile that he always had to release the stress of the conversation.

You can’t quite tell why, but answering “no” wasn’t an option.

Maybe it was because of his hopeful eyes.

Or maybe it was because of the conversation you had overheard.

“I must admit that the idea of a private chauffeur is pretty appealing, Finn.”

At first he was somewhat surprised, as if he had expected you to say no.

But then he smiled widely, looking down, still cautiously avoiding your gaze.

And suddenly you wished it would take him an eternity to get that spare part.

[ducktracy]

128. westward whoa (1936)

disclaimer: unfortunately, this is one of those cartoons that requires a disclaimer. this review you’re about to see entails racist stereotypes, concepts, and imagery. i do not at all support or condone these ideas in any way, shape, or form—they’re gross and wrong. it would, however, be just as gross of me to skip over them. this review is for the intent of educating and informing, and i don’t at all intend to harm or offend anyone. with that said, PLEASE let me know if i say something harmful, offensive, or wrong. it’s not my intent whatsoever and i want to be aware of my mistakes so i can fix them. thank you for bearing with me, and i hope you can understand.

release date: april 25th, 1936

series: looney tunes

director: jack king

starring: bernice hansen (ham and ex, kitty), tommy bond (beans), joe dougherty (porky)

hard to believe it’s time already, but this is the last appearance of beans. little kitty makes an appearance in plane dippy (i’ve seen some sources list plane dippy before the blow out, which i suppose makes more sense. it can be difficult to decipher the order of these cartoons when you have 3 different conflicting release dates for each cartoon. i suppose the order doesn’t matter as much as the content but still. i think around 1937 things start to get more concrete) and the bespectacled unnamed dog with an overbite who occasionally makes appearances reappears in shanghaied shipmates, but now the cartoons begin to shift focus towards porky. it’s been a good run, beans! unfortunately, his last goodbye isn’t the most savory of cartoons—out west, ham and ex cry wolf, pretending to be native americans and crying for help, but, of course, REAL native americans show up and no one believes their pleas for help.

open to a wagon train traversing the old west. beans and kitty are included in the band of pioneers, singing “covered wagon days”, vocals contributed by their cattle, some other pioneers, etc. even porky’s shown playing a flute solo. another gag includes a man riding his mule, essentially walking on top of it—he walks on ahead with his beer bottle, leaving the donkey behind. i’ve said it before, but i find it so interesting that jack king included songs in his cartoons. freleng and avery has mentioned how the merrie melodies format was nothing but a burden to their cartoons, having to work around the story to arbitrarily include a song in, yet king seemed to make it a point to include a song when he didn’t have to.

the gang settle in (kitty excitedly babbles on about how nice the spot they chose would be, with a lovely lake, big rock, trees, etc etc) quite comfortably. fade out back in to some pioneers square dancing to “oh, susanna!” (fun trivia, bugs and elmer sing a duet of “oh, susanna!” in the wacky wabbit, another western cartoon) a crowd clapping and cheering them on.

beans is enjoying himself, dancing along to the music. ham and ex run up to him and excitedly declare in unison “we’re gonna play indians!”, to which beans playfully warns “be careful the indians don’t getcha!” yep, it’s one of THOSE cartoons. unfortunately, this genre of cartoons would span all throughout looney tunes’ lifespan, moreso concentrated in the 30s and 40s, but the last ever classic era cartoon in 1969 is literally named inj*n trouble (a remake of the 1938 short by bob clampett, which he also remade in 1945 as wagon heels). so, unfortunately, this is the start of an unsavory and cringeworthy batch of cartoons.

ham and ex giggle and hobble away, but almost immediately halt in their tracks. behind a rock appears to be a native american headdress that’s moving. ham and ex exchange worried glances and eventually creep up to the source... only to find that it’s just a turkey pecking at the ground. this, of course, gives ham an idea (as always, there’s literally no way to tell them apart. i’m just going by left and right. who ever is on the left is ham, whoever on the right is ex) as he whispers into ex’s ear.

their idea? running around yelling “indians! help!” beans drops his stack of wood he’s carrying and reaches for his rifle, echoing their warning (in, for some reason, a deeper voice that is in no way tommy bond’s?) all of the pioneers are alerted and resort to gunfire. a dog in a pond shoots his rifle, skipping around like a rock in water. another dog hops into a wood stove and fires from there.

beans darts over to the rock where the turkey (unbeknownst to him) is pecking at the ground. beans fires, and does a jack king hat take when he realizes he shot the fan off of a turkey instead. ham and ex find it just absolutely hilarious, doubling over in a fit of laughter. beans is pissed and approaches them, warning ex that a native american will someday get them and (he pretends to cut his neck) “krrrrrrk! off goes your head!” he retreats, done with his lecture, when he suddenly whips around and snaps “and you too!” at ham. finally some nice comedic timing and a clever joke, but a shame it has to be wasted on something so racist and tiresome.

if ham and ex were rattled by beans’ lecture, they do little to express it. in fact, ex whispers in ham’s ear, both smiling with mischievous pride. ex thusly launches into a war call (ugh), followed by ham, and predictably beans is fooled again. he grabs his gun and starts running around in a flurry once more, his pioneer buddies also shooting aimlessly. ham and ex are now, for some reason, in the same spot where beans was prior (it never showed them running around). suddenly, ham taps ex on the back, who’s in a fit of hysterics. they both dart off screen as a frustrated and befuddled beans approaches, scratching his head.

now, ham and ex seek refuge behind a log, laughing and continuing their war cry. but get this—an ACTUAL grotesquely and stereotypically caricatured native american pops out from behind a tree! who would’ve thunk it? and, of course, he’s depicted as a barbaric savage. ugh. ham and ex run away, and once more does their routine of crying for help ensue, yet this time they actually mean it. the two pups hide inside the log, the native american diving in after them. the twins make it out of the other end as the native american gets stuck, and they both beat his head and butt with clubs respectively.

the twins cry once more, and, just as the classic story goes, no one believes them. beans runs his laundry through a wringer while kitty proposes he go check on the kids—“never can tell what they’re up to!” elsewhere, porky peels potatoes and shrugs off the cries for helps. he talks to the audience and stutters “it’s just those kids trying to fool you again.”

back to ham and ex. ham beats the native american on the butt, and he’s propelled out of his log and hurdles straight towards a tree. as the twins attempt to escape, they encounter more native americans, who attempt to dog pile on them. they narrowly escape, and this time run around in helpless circles near porky, who’s still (captivating as ever) peeling potatoes, merely smiling and shrugging. they both dive into a trunk at the base for safety. porky comments “those kids must think we’re pretty dumb.” he laughs (i think? he makes some sort of huh-huh noise but he looks more worried than joyful), but his laughter is quickly cut short once an arrow flies right through his beloved potato and splits it in two.

now porky attempts to make a break for it, running around aimlessly and tripping over a spare rifle in the foreground (i will admit that the shot is rather nicely staged.) suddenly, a ton of native americans pour into their base, all doing a war cry. porky struggles to get his warning out, but he has no trouble shouting “INDIANS!” after an arrow zings him right in the butt.

i know directors had lamented about working with joe dougherty’s natural stutter, because they couldn’t play around with his dialogue as much. mel blanc’s porky, as you know, would typically change his sentence structure in the midst of a stutter. i had watched porky in egypt earlier today, so i’ll use it as an example: at one point, porky laments “it’s awful war-wa-w-h-ho-h—gosh, i’m roasting!” that sentence structure was made famous by vaudevillian roscoe ates, who overcame a natural childhood stutter. part of his shtick would be to substitute his own words to make them come out easier. they wanted to take that direction with porky since the dougherty days, but couldn’t because of his natural stutter. tex avery has lamented about how much film was wasted during recording sessions with dougherty. so, to substitute, they’d play around with gags like these to get him to hurry up, whether it be whistling at him or, in this case, shooting him with an arrow. so it’s interesting to see them play around with his stutter as much as they could.

there’s a really strange cut that contributes to the cartoon’s incoherency—beans is chased by a native american brandishing a tomahawk while kitty cowers. beans is pinned beneath the crank of the wringer, and kitty tugs at the clothes in the wringer, which causes the handle to repeatedly smack the native american in the chin. it’s very subtle, but you see beans leap off of the wringer. a jump cut and beans is perfectly in position near a wood stove, shooting his pistols. the transition is nonexistent, almost no indication to show that he was in peril 4 seconds earlier. anyway.

an arrow pierces beans’ coonskin hat, a native american firing a number of arrows at him. beans hatches an idea and opens the door to the wood stove. the arrows fly into the stove and shoot right out of the pipe back at the perpetrator like a boomerang, pinning him against a tree. elsewhere, a native american attempts to slice a dog with his tomahawk. the dog takes off a toupee and hands it to the native american (a reference to the practice of scalping, like it sounds, cutting part of a human scalp with the hair attached. norm mccabe plays around with the word in the daffy duckaroo when daisy june tells daffy her boyfriend was wanted for ticket scalping.)

gags ensue as the fight rages on. a native american curves an arrow to shoot like a curveball, but it hits him in the but as the pioneer ducks. beans prepares to hit a native american over the head with a club, but instead hits another BEHIND him as he anticipates to go into the swing, eventually hitting them both. porky’s shooting his rifles, when an arrow pierced his suspenders. porky struggles to get his pants to stay up, occasionally flashing the audience as he continually hikes them up. another arrow shoots by and lodges in both his pants and shirt, effectively pinning the pants securely. i will give credit where credit is due, that’s a gag that actually feels somewhat funny.

meanwhile, ham and ex dive into some dresser drawers, popping out at the top of the dresser and hitting a native american over the head with hair brushes. they continue to hit and mock him, like a makeshift game of whack a mole. the native american cuts the dresser in half with his tomahawk, reaching into both halves and grabbing the kids, who cry for help. beans discovers a bear trap, and circles it like a lasso, throwing it right at the native american. it hits—where else?—right in the butt, and he retreats, the kids watching him go. unbeknownst to them, beans is creeping up slowly from behind. he does a war chant to give them a taste of their own medicine, and, of course, the pups are scared out of their wits. we iris out on their little eyes peering out of the trunk they used as a hideout.

to say the least, i hate this cartoon. this is my least favorite jack king cartoon to date, and least favorite beans cartoon. it’s a shame, i actually liked beans and i wish he had a more ceremonious goodbye. as you can obviously see for yourself, the cartoon is downright racist, mean spirited, and ugly. unfortunately i’ve seen a good handful of cartoons in this genre, and they’re all obviously racist, but this one in particular feels exceptionally mean spirited and grotesque. and aside from all THAT, it’s an obnoxious, repetitive cartoon. porky peels potatoes! beans gets mad! people shoot guns! ham and ex yell! as high energy as it is, there’s nothing very exciting about it. i saw this one in november—i wanted to watch every looney tunes cartoon, but didn’t know how i would commit/it was too daunting, so i instead settled for watching every porky cartoon since he’s been established so early on. told myself i wouldn’t watch it again, and here we are!

as for beans, it’s been... something! i say this is his final appearance, but he DOES make a cameo in plane dippy, nothing more. in fact, out of all 11 cartoons he was featured in, 2 of them are just mere cameos, so really he only has 9. and again, some sources list plane dippy as being made before westward whoa, which makes sense. regardless, i like beans. i love cat characters in general (sylvester was my favorite as a kid since i had a tuxedo cat of my own), but he definitely had more flavor than buddy, yet still falling into the happy to lucky protagonist. out of all 3 beginner stars, bosko, buddy, and beans, bosko was the most fleshed out and fun to watch. i certainly took him for granted when watching his cartoons (because i couldn’t shake the notion that “this is a blackface caricature”)—he was very bouncy and a musical character, and he was almost captivating to watch. buddy and beans you don’t get that musicality (i argue that in some cartoons, porky is a VERY musical character. i did an analysis on it here, which i’ll go more in depth on when we cover prehistoric porky). so, better than buddy, not as good as bosko. i’ll still miss him, but porky’s time to shine is finally here, and things are going to get rolling!

i don’t at all recommend this cartoon, but if you’re that curious i’ll put a link. obviously view at your own discretion.

[anotheruserwithnoname]

(Belated) thoughts on Picard S1

Due to a mixture of (pre-lockdown) travel and other things, I didn’t get a chance to finish watching the second half of Star Trek Picard Season 1 till this weekend. I have some thoughts, but I’ll put a break here first as I’ll be doing spoilers.

In brief, though: for the most part I liked it and I don’t get a lot of the hate being thrown its way.

Looking at online reviews of Star Trek Picard, both by professionals and amateur YouTubers, you’d think it was the biggest abomination since Enterprise. I mean, I’ve seen hate thrown its way that even exceeds that directed toward Star Trek: Discovery.

I’m not going to turn this into a commentary on Discovery. I’ll just say that I agree with 99% of the criticisms about it and I have no plans on watching Season 3, nor do I intend to watch any of the Short Treks moving forward after being turned off permanently by the awful The Trouble with Edward.

Picard, however, renewed my faith that it’s still possible for good Trek to be made for TV.

Picard is being criticized for a number of things, like violating canon. Yet I didn’t see it. First, the show is the first Trek series set in “the future” of the Trek franchise since Nemesis back in 2002. So anything it establishes about Starfleet, Picard himself, and the fates of characters like Riker and Troi - there is no canon to violate because we’re moving forward. There is nothing in Picard that is of the same magnitude of, say, what recently happened with Doctor Who. We didn’t have them rewrite established history by suddenly finding out Jean-Luc was a Romulan spy, or that he wasn’t really the captain of the Enterprise, or anything to cause decades of storytelling to collapse into irrelevance or be contradicted. Nearly everything I saw was consistent with what I knew and remembered from TNG. They didn’t even try to retcon the appearance of the 1701-D like Discovery did to the original Enterprise.

That’s not to say everything that was done to the characters post-Nemesis was great. I didn’t care or how Seven of Nine was treated, and they did a few things with her that I think were in the “because we can, not because we should” category. So criticism is warranted there. I also felt a few characters were underserved - including Narissa, who is (or was, RIP) arguably the show’s best character next to Picard. She was a classic Trek villain - yet towards the end we started to wonder if she actually WAS a villain, or basically the Romulan equivalent of Jack Bauer from 24. She commits acts of outright savagery to pursue her ends, definitely - but the same can be said of other “ends justify the means” heroes and anti-heroes. I would have liked to have seen her developed more. (Mind you, the way she is killed off by Seven does leave an opening for a return - that was a long way down, with plenty of time to pull some macguffin out of her hat.)

Probably the main thing that I liked about this show is I cared about the characters. I can even remember their names - something Discovery failed to impress upon me. Rios and his crew of holograms were great and in Season 2 I hope they do another meeting sequence where they all interact with each other. Yes, I know Orphan Black did it first and probably did it better - but it ain’t Star Trek.

One of the biggest criticisms others levy on Picard is that Picard was a supporting character in his own show. First, that’s nonsense. Second, Picard is supposed to be a dying man throughout and in his 90s to boot. This is why I think the idea of bringing Shatner back as Kirk isn’t going to work because he won’t be running around with phasers blasting either! Stewart is not the same man he was when he made Nemesis - and they don’t make the mistake of trying to pretend otherwise. Even at the end where they basically make him a nuBSG-style Cylon to keep him alive, they didn’t turn around and make him 50 years old again. If Trek wasn’t a TV show, sure they probably would have, but the reality is the actor turns 80 this summer, and who knows when Season 2 will be filmed.

The big condemnation is about how Starfleet went dark post-Nemesis. People seem to think that Starfleet is always about goodness and light. They forget about the high command plotting the assassination of the Federation president in Star Trek VI. They forget about the black ops division Section 31 established in DS9 - or some of the things Sisko does during the Dominion War. Apparently, one of Picard’s showrunners says the original plan was to make it clear the “darkening” was part of the aftermath of the Dominion War, but this was cut. Yet they don’t need any excuse - the show clearly establishes that Romulans infiltrated the highest levels of Starfleet Command (if you think that can’t happen, go watch the final few episodes of TNG Season 1 when it happens) and were responsible for the Mars attack that set everything in motion.

And the show clearly establishes that there are till bastions of “goodness and light” in Starfleet - starting with Picard himself. And the season ends with the synthetic lifeform ban removed, signifying that Starfleet is returning to its old standards. It works. There were also people concerned that Picard was going to somehow tie-in with Discovery (due apparently to some of the cast members of both shows posing for photos together). Other than a few small references to things established on Discovery, Picard doesn’t go there.

Is Picard perfect? Hell no. Although I appreciated the “slow burn” style of storytelling, which has been adopted by a lot of other shows, it is a tough fit for Star Trek. But I didn’t mind because it was interesting. But I can see others’ points when they say the first few episodes drag a bit.

The show also suffers from the usual “continuity lockout” facing any newcomer to Trek. In this case, you need to know a fair amount about Seven of Nine’s story arc from Voyager, the Hugh story arc from the later seasons of TNG, the movie Star Trek: Nemesis, and have a working knowledge of the Picard-Data relationship from TNG. It also doesn’t hurt to know that Bruce Maddox appeared in one of the key “Data is a person” episodes of TNG as well. Unfortunately, knowing TNG may also result in one of the few major continuity issues of Picard, and that’s the fact Data already had a daughter, Lal, in “The Offspring”. The fact she’s never referenced is puzzling.

Other issue I had: I am not a fan of the use of F-bombs in Star Trek. While I concede they were better handled than the juvenile “because we can” attitude of Discovery, it added nothing other than to justify the TV-MA rating (without the F-bombs the show - eye-gouging included - would have fit under TV-14), which some has interpreted as an intentional attempt at alienating younger viewers (Torchwood ran into the same criticism). I already touched on the mishandling of Seven of Nine (which added in some unnecessary storytelling cliches, especially at the end), and I thought Narek could have been better handled - he vanishes without explanation in the finale and no one seems to care.

They also missed a few bets. I would have loved for the mysterious tech-alien species to have had some connection to Vger from Star Trek the Motion Picture (it makes more sense than Vger being found by the Borg, which is a longstanding theory). And while it was just a destination in the show, and never seen, rather than invoking the name of Deep Space 12, would it have killed them to say Deep Space 9? There was already a visual reference to Quark in one of the episodes, but mentioning DS9 by name, along with Seven’s presence, would have allowed Picard to have connected the three “future” Trek spinoffs.

But I enjoyed Picard, and if they still make DVDs after all the madness currently in the world, I look forward to buying the complete series when it comes out, and I hope they make a second season (it’s been renewed, but these days there is no guarantee when or if renewed shows will resume production and too long a delay risks 80+-year-old Patrick Stewart not being up to it). All in all, quite pleased, yet still puzzled at why so many people hate it. But then I know there are people who cannot understand why I cannot abide by certain shows, so I guess it evens up.

[luxury-loki]

Endgame Chat

!!spoiler free part!!

Hey everyone, this is part one of my full Endgame review, hope you enjoy! My blog is now officially no longer spoiler free (I mean it’s been a week, if you haven't seen it by now then wyd???). However, everything will still be tagged with ‘#endgame spoiler’ and ‘#endgame spoilers’. If you do not want to see any spoilers, PLEASE block these from your feed if you haven't already, consider this your only warning! I will not be taking the blame for anything you have spoiled for you from this blog from now on.

thanks babies,

Lara xxx

I fully have no words to describe this film. It was such a satisfying end I barely even knew I needed, and I have so much I wanna talk about, so strap in cus this is gonna be a long ride.

I think I'm just going to do the same layout as my infinity war posts, with one for character arcs and the there for memorable events/moments.

Let’s start with characters. I’m going to talk mostly about the main six, and anyone else just a brief few things.

Thor

“I’m still worthy!”

I have been seeing alooooot of hate for the way Endgame handled Thor’s character, and I have to completely disagree. We’ve become so comfortable with seeing Thor as the most powerful Avenger, the one who was fine when his mother died, father died, brother, best friend etc that it was crucial to see that this was never actually the case. Thor’s decent into alcoholism, obesity and depression showed he was never really okay with everything that’s happened, he only bottled it inside till it all became too much, and having it healed by a chat with his mother was the perfect way to reach his arc. His relationship with his mother has been so overlooked by the marvel fans (me included) and it was so special to see this heart warming moment between them. When he said “I love you Mum.” to her my heart BURST and my eyes suddenly got very teary, not to mention the added heartbreak that he knew it was the day she was going to die. Overall, although yes, It was comical to see him in this state, that was not the only point to his storyline, it was about seeing a more emotional side to his character, a side which proves he isn't just a ‘tough guy’ who can handle the force of a star and wield lightening. He just as emotionally unstable as the rest of us, and needed his family back (both blood and The Avengers), and a reminder that he was still worthy of Mjolnir to set him back on the right path again to greatness. 

His passing of his kingship of Asgard to Valkyrie was also important. Although the Thor franchise had the most perfect beginning and ending, starting with Thor becoming king of Asgard when he was childish and irresponsible and ending with him becoming King when he was actually prepared, the title of king was still not something he chose, and with Valkyrie there to be extremely capable of the role and eager to take it, it makes sense now to allow Thor to go on to actually live the life he wants, and become the true hero his mother tells him to be. I feel he suits the role of a hero who fights the bad guys more than a sensible noble king. I desperately hope he is in Guardians 3, as I think a Quill/Thor bromance is about to blossom beautifully. 

Natasha 

“I used to have nothing, then I got this family.”

I did not see Natasha’s death coming, like not from a million miles away and it BROKE ME. I actually cried at it more the second time I went to see it. We as an audience forget how she really has no one except The Avengers, they are her one true family, and this is emphasised in the scene on Vormir when she explains how she didn't even know her own father's name. Natasha has always been great in every film she's been in, and has been integral to the development of the MCU, however her role in Endgame was something else. Seeing how broken she was over the snap and seeing how she felt it was her responsibly alone to keep track of the events happening across the whole planet shows how seriously she takes her role as an Avenger and how much she wants to earn the title. I’ll talk more about the scene on Vormir in my next post, but it was really something else. The fact it was Clint she goes with was so important, her best friend. The line from him in the guardians’ ship “this is a long way from Budapest” was such a great call back to the first avengers film, and reminds us of the long history the two share. 

When it was obvious one of them was going to die I knew it was going to be her, which is very telling of what I internally think of her character. She would never have let Clint die whilst he had a wife and children at home. Natasha sacrificed herself so that half of the universe could survive, as did Tony. Everyone alive in the MCU owes their life to her, and that is an incredible legacy for her character to leave. She will be desperately missed, but her new film coming out, despite (I assume) being a prequel will be a welcome look into her life again.

RIP Nat x

Clint

“I wish I could tell her we won.”

Opening the film on Clint losing his family was a clever way of reminding the audience of the loss experienced by everyone in Infinity War, not just the characters we followed. It was also interesting to see Clint’s darker side. On his mission to rid the world of the criminals who avoided dusting whilst innocent lives were taken, he murders what we can only assume is hundreds, showing the extreme anger and sadness he was feeling over the loss of his wife and children. It is Tony later in the film who says to Pepper “we got lucky.” in reference to the fact they still had each other, Clint had the least luck, losing three children and his wife, we can understand why he turned to such eratic violence.

Once reunited with The Avengers he continues to have a huge role in the film, especially driven by both his desire to bring back his family, and also avenge Natasha’s death which he most likely feels very guilty for. The moment when they all return form the quantum realm except her, and Clint is seen crying is very emotional, and his role in the fight against Thanos is not one he takes lightning. Clint even carries the Infinity Gauntlet for a large proportion of the final fight scene, we thank him for his incredible service! Endgame was definitely Clint’s film. He had a big part in many of the most emotional/nail biting scenes, and dint just spend the whole thing under the mind control of the main villain! Really glad he got to shine through and find his spotlight, and I can't wait for what the Hawkeye series will have to offer.

Banner

“I put the brains and the braun together.”

Okay so when I first saw the Doctor Hulk combo I HATED IT. I remember turning to my friend in the cinema and just going “I hate it I hate it I hate it get it away from me” but then by the end of the film I won't lie, I loved it. I love that he now has the best sides of both banner and Hulk, the funny/smart/kind side, put together with the incredible strength of The Hulk actually makes for a pretty powerful avenger, even standing up to Thor at one point when he asks him to take his hands off him. Banner had some great comedy bits, including when he makes fun of Scott when the kids don't wanna take a picture with him, and the hilarious part when he punches the taxi in New York, but also some important emotional roles. His upset when he discovers Natasha is dead is evident, explaining how he misses her to Steve later in the film, and this is definitely used as a drive for what he goes on to do. He sacrifices his life and uses the gauntlet to bring everyone back, BANNER DID THAT. Can we start appreciating him more now???? THANKS. No but seriously this was a very important moment for him, and was like the finale of the great character arc we have seen over the last 3 films he has been in. In Ragnaork he struggles with his relationship with the Hulk, still being unable to control when he changes from Hulk to Banner, stuck in either when least convenient, nd always under the control of Hulk. In Infinity War, it’s almost like the two are so connected, and hulk is so aware of Banner’s experience that he begins to control when he doesn't want to come out, rather than when he does. The two are much more like a duo, understanding of each other but stilll not necessarily working together. in Endgame they finally merge, forming a mutual relationship where each benefits wonderfully from the other. I’m really happy for Banner reaching this state. I don't know if his character will appear in anymore MCU films to come, but his character arc has certainly reached a satisfying end, and I believe, despite the sadness of losing Natasha, he has a reached a place of peace and happiness.

Tony

“I love you 3000.”

THE BIG SAD. Still can't believe he is dead. The corner stone of the MCU, the man who made it all happen, how can we ever thank Tony Stark enough? short answer: we can’t, but I'll damn well try. Tony Stark has had perhaps the greatest character arc of them all. Growing from being an arrogant, selfish, greedy businessman who sold weapons and funded wars now sacrifices his life for the entire universe, despite knowing he will leave behind his child and wife alone. It is so painful watching the film for the second time, seeing how desperate he is to not lose what he’s got (Morgan), knowing the whole time what is to happen a the end, yet also a sense of pride emerges. It is heartbreaking to know he will in fact die, but also incredible to know that even despite all his personal feelings, he will always put his family, The Avengers and the rest of the beings in the universe before him because THAT is who Tony Stark is. it doesn't matter who he once was, he has grown beautifully as a character, and has the hero’s death he properly deserves. When  Pepper said “you can rest now.” to him I absolutely BAWLED. very good. Awful and painful, but very good.

Also just Tony as a dad, although we didn't get to see it for very long, was a great position to see his character in. He keeps that classic Stark sense of humour “go to bed or I'll sell your toys” whilst also it is immensely clear to see how much being a father has matured him. Although in reality, he is not only a father to Morgan, but Peter too, and choosing to have him die in front of him was truly a STAB to the gut, but also important I think for Peters development now. He will have to go it alone now, without the support of his guardian, which will be a good way to ensure his character can grow independently. Stark was clearly torn up over Peter’s death in a way only a father would, and Peter im sure will carry this bond with him for as long as he lives. I hope to see Morgan and Peter connect in Far From Home, that would be really special, and the perfect way of carrying Tony’s memory.

Thank you to Tony, and RDJ for the incredible 11 years in the MCU, we just could no be here without you, you can rest now, but know you are in our hearts forever.

RIP Tony x

Steve

“You gonna tell me about her?”

“No, I don't think I will.”

Guys okay so I cried at Tony and Nat’s death, but NOTHING got me like Steve’s final scene let me TELL YOU, but first we will start earlier on. 

Steve has a very classic role int he first half on the film, comforting Nat when she needs it, helping Tony, devising the plan etc but he really shines in his trip to New York, the final battle scene, and of course his finale. 

The scene where he fights himself was really great, and the lines “I can do this all day” “yeah I know” was AMAZING! Not to mention the iconic callback to the elevator scene with the added ‘hail hydra’. The Russo Brothers did an excellent job in ensuring the revisited all the best parts of cap’s time in the MCU in Endgame for sure. But, the best bit came in the final fight scene WHEN HE LIFTED MJOLNIR. I SCREAMED. I genuinely don't think I have ever been so excited in an MCU film in my life, when the hammer came flying through the air I thought at first it was going to be Captain Marvel (which would have been cool too) but when it was him I YELLED. I simultaneously couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing whilst also thinking it was the most obvious thing ever. OF COURSE Steve can lift the hammer, of course he is worthy. The added line of Thor saying: “I knew it!” was just perfect too, with their mid-battle banter yet again “you have the little one, I'll take the big one.” much like in Infinity war with “I see you’ve copied my beard!”. Another great moment was of course the: “Avengers... assemble.” which I also absolutely screeched at. INCREDIBLE CINEMA.

But, despite all this excitement and incredible action Steve’s character got, his best part in the film by far was his final goodbye to Sam and Bucky. When he left to put the stones back something in me knew he wasn't going to come back, and although it was sad, it was also relieving in a way. To know he must be going to find Peggy, and to know he would finally “get some of that life” he had always wanted, and find happiness with her was beautiful. When the camera panned round to him on the bench, it was extremely clever to (as he was older and more shrunken) depict him looking the exact way pre-serum Steve did in The First Avenger, with a similar jacket and smaller frame. At first I thought it somehow was younger him, and It was only seeing his face that made me realise that was not the case. By this post I was properly crying. Like tears streaming down my face hiding my sobs crying. His passing of the shield onto Sam was incredibly moving, and before he left to the see when Bucky and him joke about not doing anything stupid whilst he’s gone was also a perfect goodbye. When he went to put his hand on Sam’s and it showed he had a wedding ring, I honestly couldn't even see through my tears, and that final scene. That final scene. The camera panning through the window, the soft music, the slow turning of the camera to reveal Peggy dancing with Steve, I let out what I think is the ugliest noise I have ever made. a full blown SOB. I was actually uncontrollable, the lights went up in the cinema and I just kept going, still crying a good five minutes later. It was an ending that, now it’s happened, seemed so obvious, yet I never saw it coming. Of course The Avengers’ saga had to end that way. The beauty of the ending was that it wasn’t really an ending at all, but a beginning. Yes, Steve has reached the end of his time as an Avenger, but he was only just starting his true, long life he has ahead of him. The perfect finale.

CONCLUSION

I loved this film. I think it did wonders for all the main characters, and to know I know live in a world with no more Avengers films to come is devastating, but I'm just happy I was alive to see them happen, and to be a part of this wonderful community.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far! Check back next Thursday for my post on storylines/events!

Lara x

[arysafics]

if u do take requests please: a fic where clarke and bellamy are in a stable relationship but someone makes a comment about her body figure, and she starts to feel unconfortable and make diets, not feeling good on being naked in front of him and he notices

loose lips sink ships all the damn time

Summary: Clarke has always known Bellamy is too good for her, but it still hurts when strangers on the internet think that too.

Rated T, ~4000 words

Clarke has always known that Bellamy would make it bigsomeday. They’ve been together since he was in drama school and he starred in ashort film she wrote. It’s still the best thing she’s ever made, and it’s notbecause it’s her best writing (far from it), it’s because he made it amazing.

Since then, Clarke has given up writing scripts, findingshe’s better suited to novels, and Bellamy has had a lot of small roles in TVshows. There were a couple of recurring characters, and once, the villain in asci-fi show that ended up being cancelled after a season. But finally, his fucking agent did somethinggood for once, and got him an audition for a big action trilogy, which of course he got the lead for, starringopposite the mega-famous supermodel/actress, Echo Whiting.

The premiere was last night, and people are already goingcrazy for it. Bellamy has never been the type to keep up with social media, orread reviews about his work, but Clarke loves it. She gets a thrill every timeshe sees his name pop up on her Twitter or Facebook feed, whether it’s a reviewof his brilliant performance or just a fan screaming about how much they lovehim. Sure, it gets weird sometimes, especially because a lot of his fans arethirsting after him, but she hardly ever reads anything negative about him.

He’s still asleep, and Clarke elects not to wake him up. Hefinally has some time off after weeks of interviews and appearances, and Clarkeisn’t about to ruin his first day to sleep in.

She opens Twitter on her phone, and searches Bellamy’s name.The latest tweet is a link to an article of the best and worst dressed from thepremiere last night, and Clarke clicks on it, already knowing Bellamy will bein the best category. She finds himat number two, after Echo, and she stares at his picture, smiling to herself.She loves him because he’s kind and selfless and funny and talented. But he’salso really hot as well.

The caption reads: BellamyBlake can do no wrong when it comes to fashion. We don’t care what he wears, aslong as he keeps showing up to give us that dreamy smile.

Clarke continues scrolling, until she reaches the worstdressed. Okay, if it were up to her, these lists wouldn’t even exist. But also,secretly she kind of likes judging other people’s clothes. She has to agreethat number one on the list is kind of awful. There are just too many colourson Ontari’s dress, and all of them clash. The second one Clarke doesn’t thinkis so bad, but then, she’s no fashion expert.

She continues scrolling, and her stomach drops when she seesnone other than herself at number three. She hadn’t even realised anyone waspaying attention to her. She’s not even in the movie. She’s not a famous actor.She’s just Bellamy Blake’s girlfriend.

She doesn’t even think she looks that bad in the dress shewore last night. She felt sexy at the time, in skin tight red, and if the wayBellamy pulled her out of it after they got home last night was any indication,he thought she looked sexy too.

Her eyes scan the caption, wondering why she’s made theworst dressed list.

Look guys, we havenothing wrong with the dress itself. But Clarke, honey, it’s not for you. Sheneeds a stylist that can dress her for her body type, and hide all theunflattering bits. Oh, and by the way, this is a red carpet, not the red lightdistrict. Put those things away!

Clarke feels sick to her stomach. She looks at the pictureagain, and suddenly she can see what they’re talking about. The dress stretchesover her stomach and thighs, making her look bigger than she is. Or maybe shereally is that big. And the dress probably is too low cut for someone withbreasts like Clarke’s. Echo would probably look really good in the dress.

“Hey,” Bellamy says sleepily, cuddling up to her. Clarkeexits the article quickly, blinking back tears.

“Sorry,” Clarke says. “Did I wake you?”

“Hmm, I don’t think so. What were you reading?”

“Just a stupid article,” Clarke says.

“You’re not googling me again, are you?” Bellamy grins.Clarke smiles back at him. She has to remind herself that it doesn’t matterwhat one dumb article says about her. Bellamy’s opinion is the one thatmatters, and he loves her and thinks she’s beautiful.

“Someone has to do it,” Clarke says.

“Well, thank you for being my biggest fan,” Bellamy says,leaning over her to kiss her. He takes her phone from her hands, placing itaside, continuing to kiss her, letting his hands roam over her body. She tenseswhen he grips her thigh, and he stops. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Clarke says quickly. God, she’s so stupid. She can’tlet the words of some bitch pretending to be a journalist get to her. They’rejust jealous that Clarke is with Bellamy. And who could blame them?

Even knowing this, she pushes him off her and scoots out ofbed.

“I just really need to pee,” she says, shooting him a smileto show him she’s okay.

Bellamy raises an eyebrow at her, but he doesn’t push it.“Okay,” he says. “We should probably get up anyway. I still have to pack.”

“We have time,” Clarke says. “Go back to sleep.” He givesher that dreamy smile everyone is so in love with, then falls back against thepillows. Clarke heads to the bathroom, wondering if she should have told himabout the article. Except she already knows what he’d say. He’d tell her thearticle is wrong, and that they’re just trying to get attention, and that sheneeds to stop reading that shit. And he’d be right, obviously. Which is why shedoesn’t tell him.

  Clarke decides she’s going to go social media free for acouple of weeks, while she and Bellamy are in Fiji. He has some time off, andwhile he loves his job and his fans, Clarke knows he tires of being the centreof attention. It will be good for the two of them to disappear, even if justfor a little while.

“No Twitter, no Facebook, no Instagram. I’m not even goingto use Google,” Clarke tells Bellamy, putting her phone on the charger. They’restaying in a tiny little private villa, close to the beach, and Bellamy isalready dressed in his swim shorts. It’s a distracting sight.

“I’m not saying I don’t believe you, but I also know youvery well. If you last the day I’ll be surprised,” he grins.

“That sounds a lot like you don’t believe me,” Clarke pouts.

Bellamy laughs. “I believe you want to try.”

“I’ll show you,” Clarke says, poking her tongue out. “I’mnot even going to take my phone with me to the beach.”

“That sounds like a brag, but I don’t get why you would evenneed a phone at the beach.”

“Photos,” Clarke says. She picks up her phone and snaps oneof him to prove her point. “That’s going to be my new lock screen.”

Bellamy shakes his head, amused. “Come on,” he says, holdingout his hand. “The ocean is calling to me.”

Clarke takes his hand, grabbing her towel from the bed onthe way. They make the five minute walk to the beach hand in hand. It’s perfectbeach weather, warm and not too windy, and yet there is hardly anyone else onthe beach. They lay their towels down, and Bellamy waits for Clarke to take herdress off so they can get in the water. She hesitates, just for a moment. Thewords from the article run through her mind, reminding her about all her unflattering bits. She’s just wearing abikini underneath the dress, and it doesn’t cover all that much. She hadn’tlooked in the mirror when she put it on, and she’s suddenly worried about whatshe looks like in it.

Steeling herself, Clarke hurriedly pulls the dress over herhead and puts it down on her towel, trying to keep her stomach covered with herarms as long as possible. When she looks up, Bellamy is staring at her.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he shakes his head. He smirks. “Just wish we wereback at the villa instead of on this very public beach.”

“You wanted to come to the beach.”

“Yeah, but that was before I saw you in that bikini.”

“Stop it,” she says, giving him a playful shove. She stillloves it when he gets all flirty with her, looks at her like he wants to devourher. Yet part of her wonders if he’s just putting it on. Acting like he wantsher more than he really does. He grabs her arm and tugs her close, kissing her.“We shouldn’t do this here,” Clarke murmurs between kisses.

“Why?” Bellamy whispers back.

“You’re famous. People might recognise you and takepictures.”

“I don’t care.”

Clarke breaks away from his lips, trailing her fingers downhis arm and taking his hand. “We’re going swimming first,” she says, pullinghim towards the ocean. “And then when we get back to the villa you can dowhatever you like to me.”

“Okay,” Bellamy agrees, and he lets Clarke lead him into theshallows. He grabs her around the waist, and she shrieks, laughing as he kissesher, then pulls her down into the water. He loves her, Clarke reminds herself.He loves her and he wants her, regardless of what anyone else says. She has toremember that.

  Out of stubbornness and nothing else, Clarke makes it thewhole two weeks without social media. She does feel proud of herself, but thetrue prize is Bellamy admitting he was wrong for doubting her.

Of course, the first thing she does when they get home isopen Twitter, while Bellamy does the responsible thing and starts unpacking hissuitcase.

She goes through her notifications, liking questions fromfans about her next book so she can answer them later. She reads every tweetshe’s mentioned in, which usually isn’t that many, seeing as it’s been a whilesince her last book came out, and though she’s on Twitter a lot, she doesn’tactually tweet that much. Occasionally she’ll get people asking her aboutBellamy, but she never replies to those ones.

There is a tweet from what looks like a Bellamy Blake fanaccount, judging from the username.

Give Bellamy Blake anOscar @bblakefan291

@clarkegriffinwritesdid you see this? people are so mean

Clarke clicks on the tweet, wondering what mean thingspeople could possibly be saying about Bellamy. She doesn’t want to get into aTwitter war over it, and she probably won’t tell him if it’s too harsh, but shefeels like she needs to know anyway.

She finds the tweet is a reply to a picture, a photo takenof her and Bellamy while they were at the beach. Her first thought is that theyboth look really happy. They’re standing in the shallows and he’s got his armaround her and she has the biggest smile on her face. Then she reads thecomment that goes with it.

Kelly @bechorise

No offence but he cando so much better lol. What is he even doing with her?

Clarke rolls her eyes, trying to ignore the sinking feelingin her stomach. It doesn’t matter to her what some random on the internet hasto say about her relationship with Bellamy.

She knows she should just exit the app and forget about it,but she sees the tweet has three hundred likes already, and fifteen replies,and she can’t resist scrolling down to see what other people are saying.Perhaps some part of her hopes there are people defending her.

Bellamy and Echo @bellamyandecho

He should be withsomeone actually hot. Like Echo!!!!!

Georgia @georgiagg55

She actually has apretty face but she really needs to lose a few pounds

hell is empty @ladygagaisshakespeare

lmao someone finallysaid it

Bellamy Blake’s Wife @wifeofbellamyblake

I’m hotter than she ishe should be with me!!!

becho are secretlydating @bechoes

don’t worry, this isjust a cover, he’s actually with Echo. It would literally make no sense for himto be dating this nobody lol that’s all the proof you need

frankie @franksfornothing

you can tell she’s waymore into him than he is into her. He’s going to break up with her soon I canfeel it. Then we celebrate ladies!

There are a couple of tweets defending her, but the repliesto those tweets are just other people telling them to shut up. The worst one iswhere someone has reposted the picture, but they’ve circled and labelled allher flaws. Her cellulite, her stretch marks, the rolls of fat around herstomach.

Her chest is tight and her eyes well with tears. It’sstupid, she knows it’s stupid. They’re just strangers on the internet whoseopinions shouldn’t matter. But the thing is, she’s always kind of suspectedshe’s not good enough for him. When he first asked her out, she had troublebelieving it wasn’t some kind of dumb prank. Guys that look like that don’tdate girls that look like Clarke. They date girls that look like Echo Whiting.

And it’s not that Clarke thinks Bellamy is cheating on her,or wants to cheat on her, or is secretly planning to break up with her when thetime is right. But she can see what everyone else sees. That he’s better thanher. He’s more talented, he’s more charismatic, he’s more attractive. Clarkedoesn’t deserve him, and she’s always kind of known it. Deep down, there’s thisfear that one day he’s going to wake up and realise he can do better, and thenhe’ll leave her. To have other people validate that fear, to have strangers onthe internet voice her worst and darkest thoughts about herself and herrelationship—it just makes it seem more real.

The thought of losing Bellamy makes her ache. What if hesees this picture, sees how out of her league he is, starts seeing her the wayshe really is? How long would it take him to stop touching her, because hethinks she’s too fat? Stops taking her as his date to awards shows andpremieres because he realises she makes him look bad?

“Okay, I’m done unpacking,” Bellamy says, strolling out fromthe bedroom. Clarke quickly brushes the tears from her eyes, swallowing. Shecan’t tell him about this. He’ll think she’s stupid, or he’ll think she’sright, and either way she doesn’t want to deal with it. He stops, frowning, hisface etched with concern. “You okay, baby?”

“Yeah,” Clarke says. Evidently, she hasn’t hidden her tearsas well as she would have liked. “Just watched a dog video.”

Bellamy smiles. “Cute. You want to get pizza for dinner? I’mnot really in the mood for cooking.”

Clarke hesitates. Pizza does sound good. But perhaps sheshouldn’t be eating pizza, if she actually wants to keep her boyfriend. “Youcan get pizza if you want. I’m not that hungry.”

“I can just order you some garlic bread if you want.”

Clarke huffs. “No, Bellamy. I don’t want garlic bread.”

“But you love garlic bread. And you might be hungry later.You can heat it up—”

“I said I don’t want it,” Clarke snaps. Bellamy snaps hismouth closed, frowning. Clarke takes a deep breath. “Sorry,” she mutters. “Ithink I’m just tired from the flight. I’m going to take a shower and go tobed.”

“Okay,” Bellamy says. Clarke doesn’t look at him as sheheads to the bathroom, but she knows he’s watching her, confused as to why shesnapped at him. Clarke doesn’t even really know herself, except that he’sencouraging her to eat things that will make her fat, and that annoys her.

While she’s in the shower, she decides she’s going to starta diet in the morning. Cut out carbs completely maybe. Only eat things that aregreen.

She towels herself off and puts her pyjamas on and gets intobed. She can smell Bellamy’s pizza when it arrives. Her stomach grumbles. Whenhe comes into the bedroom to offer her some, she pretends to be asleep.

  Clarke starts her diet the next morning. While Bellamy isstill asleep, she plans out what she’s allowed to eat for the for the week andsticks the chart on the fridge with a magnet. She’s already hungry just lookingat it. But she’s sure she’ll get over that.

Breakfast today is just half a grilled tomato. Bellamywanders into the kitchen as she plates it up.

“What’s that?” he asks.

“A tomato.”

“What’s it for?”

“Breakfast.”

The look Bellamy gives her is sceptical. “That’s notbreakfast, Clarke. At least have some toast with it.”

“Can you stop telling me what to eat?”

Bellamy actually flinches. Clarke stabs her tomato with herfork, feeling guilty. “Sorry.”

“Clarke,” Bellamy says. “Is everything okay?”

“Uh huh,” she says. She doesn’t look up from her plate. “Ijust really have a craving for grilled tomato,” she says. She keeps talkingbefore Bellamy can say anything else. “Anyway, I need to get some writing donethis morning, so I’m going to be in my office for a few hours,” she saysquickly, picking up her plate and hurrying to her office.

She hardly gets any writing done. She’s hungry and she can’tthink straight and she feels guilty for snapping at Bellamy for no reason. She’swritten two sentences in two hours by the time she hears Bellamy get back fromhis run. She sighs to herself, leaving her work and finding him in the bedroom,stripping off his sweat soaked shirt.

“Hey,” she says, poking her head into the room. Bellamylooks up, throwing his shirt into the laundry basket. “Sorry about before.”

“It’s fine, Clarke,” he says. He folds his arms over hischest, his biceps bulging. Clarke quickly meets his eyes. This is a seriousconversation. “Are you going to tell me what’s really going on though?”

Clarke shrugs. “Must be getting my period.” All manner ofweird behaviour can be excused that way, right?

“That’s it?”

Clarke nods. Bellamy sags. “Fuck, Clarke,” he says. “You hadme really worried.”

“You were worried? About what?”  

“Yeah,” he says softly, walking over to her. He takes herhands in his. “I thought—I don’t know. It doesn’t matter.” He kisses her softly,then a little harder. He presses her against the doorframe, crushing heragainst his sweaty chest. Clarke’s heart races as she kisses him back, her needfor him growing.

“Bellamy,” she whispers, her voice husky. He presses a kissto each of her cheeks.

“Yes?”

“I need you.”

“Come and shower with me,” Bellamy says, his lips againsthers again, his hands still holding hers. He tugs her towards the bathroom, andClarke lets him pull her with him. He doesn’t even bother shutting the bathroomdoor before he’s kissing her again. His hands slide under her shirt, and she tensesup instinctively, thinking about the circles that person drew on her picture,pointing out her chubby stomach. Bellamy stops instantly, pulling back.

“Clarke?”

“It’s okay,” she says, even though it’s not. She wants him,she really wants him. But the thought of him seeing her like the rest of theworld sees her makes her sick. She looks okay in her baggy shirt and jeans, butshe doesn’t want him to see her naked. Not until she’s lost some weight, andshe can look like a girlfriend he can actually be proud of. “I just—um,” shesteps back, away from him, eyes on the floor. “I changed my mind. I—” she feelsher throat closing up. She tries to swallow, so she won’t cry.

“Clarke, baby,” Bellamy says softly. “What’s going on? Tellme.”

She looks up at him, just as a tear rolls down her cheek.She shakes her head. “I don’t want you to think I’m ugly,” she says, and itsounds so stupid she could laugh, if her chest didn’t ache so much.

“Ugly?” Bellamy shakes his head. “Why would I ever think you’reugly?”

Clarke sobs, though she tries to hold it back. The truthspills out of her. “Everybody thinks I’m not good enough for you. And they’reright. Why are you even with me, when you could have anybody you want? Someonewho’s actually in your league?”

“Clarke—” Bellamy says, searching her eyes, confused andconcerned. “I don’t understand. Who thinks you’re not good enough for me?”

Clarke pulls her phone from her back pocket and opensTwitter. It only takes her a moment to find the tweet.

“I don’t get it,” Bellamy says. “This is a good picture.”

“Read the comments, Bellamy.”

Bellamy looks back to the phone, his eyes scanning thescreen as he scrolls. His expression gets darker and darker as he reads. Helooks up, his eyes hot with rage.

“Clarke,” he says. “This is a load of bullshit. I love you and I want to be with you. Just the thought of you thinkingyou’re not good enough for me—” he cuts himself off with a huff. “Fuck anyone whomakes you think that,” he growls.

Clarke shrugs. “But look at me,” she says. “And look at you.”

“Clarke,” Bellamy says, his anger turning to anguish. “Don’tsay that. You’re beautiful. What can I do to make you believe me?”

“Nothing, Bellamy,” Clarke huffs. “It’s not your fault. I believeyou believe that. But one day you’re going to wake up and realise you should bewith someone who makes you look good. Someone like Echo.”

“I’ll quit the movie,” Bellamy says. “I’ll quit actingentirely. None of it means anything if I don’t have you.”

Clarke shakes her head, tears falling again. “Don’t give upyour dream because of me.”

“Don’t leave me,” Bellamy says, his voice trembling. “I loveyou. I love you.”

Clarke’s heart misses a beat. “I’m not leaving you,” she says.“God, Bellamy. This isn’t a break up.”

Bellamy exhales, his relief evident. He takes her face inhis hands. “Clarke. You have to know, I think you’re gorgeous. I don’t want youto ever doubt that. But I don’t love you because of the way you look. I loveyou because of you. All of you. Ilove you exactly as you are, and I will love you if you change entirely, and Iwill love you if you stay the same.”

Clarke’s heart thrums in her chest. She puts her hand overhis. With his words, the fierce sincerity in his eyes, her doubts vanish. He’snever once made her feel like she’s not worthy of him, and the fact that shelet some childish internet trolls make her believe any different fills her withshame.

“Bellamy, I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I should never evenhave read those comments. I don’t want you to think I don’t trust you, or thatI think you’re shallow—”

“Hey, hey,” he says. “You don’t have to be sorry. You feelhow you feel. But I want to know how you feel too, okay?”

Clarke nods. Bellamy drops his hands from her face. “Wouldyou really quit acting for me?”

“I would do anything for you.”

“You know I would never ask you to do that, right?”

“I know,” Bellamy says. “And that’s why I would.”

Clarke shakes her head, smiling. “I’m the last person whowould want you to give up acting. You know I’m your biggest fan, right?”

Bellamy smiles. “And I’m yours.”

[duckyworth]

The Adventures of the American Rabbit (1986) Mini Review

Browsing through Netflix can really help you come across some interesting material you probably wouldn’t find otherwise - most of the stuff I’ve personally watched on there is pretty good, but I think today I came across something that I’d say that I wouldn’t recommend to my friends - and the funny thing is that it’s not even that terrible or insulting in any way, but more EMPTY than anything else - a little thing called The Adventures of the American Rabbit.

I’ve seen pictures of this film a few times online, and it looked pretty odd, so I at least thought it would be interesting, but it feels like one of those films where the visuals at least look very interesting and it can be lovely to look at (I mean it, the animation is really incredibly done - Murakami-Wolf-Swenson and Toei Animation were the studios behind it - and for some reason, the visuals remind me a little of Danger Mouse ).... but when you take away the visuals, it feels like you get absolutely nothing of substance. :/

The story is that this rabbit, Rob, is born one day and this random old rabbit starts telling his parents that he’ll be destined for great things (you know, before the kid has even DONE anything yet - that won’t put a ton of pressure on the boy or anything), and as he grows up he becomes pretty much perfect in everything he does (sports, piano lessons etc) and then he randomly gets super powers out of the blue on top of that to save his parents... Yeah, engaging lead character there - it truly is his trials and tribulations that makes him interesting. :/

So he leaves home to find his place in the world, and he just happens to come across this nightclub where they need a pianist, and of course, he does really well :/, but the nightclub is attacked by a band of jackals that destroy the nightclub after the owner denies them ‘insurance’ money, and so the rest of the film is about Rob following the band that performs there and the club’s owner trying to get the money they need, while trying to stop this villain with no neck or face from ruling the world by taking over chocolate production because they held a moose confectioner and his son hostage....... YES, that is seriously what happens. XD

But with all of the weird stuff I mentioned, it sounds like it could at least be a ‘so bad it’s good’ film or at least very weird - at least that could give something to talk about or discuss - but it ends up being surprisingly BORING in spite of all the oddities in the film. 

Rob is a personality stricken bore who doesn’t seem to suffer any big noticeable problems or trials in any way and seems to gain his powers just because (and at one bit he plans to SHUT DOWN NEW YORK CITY’S ENERGY in some stupid plan to attempt to thwart the villain’s doomsday switch by stopping the water flow at Niagara Falls - it works, but if he suddenly caused a CITYWIDE BLACKOUT, it’d no doubt cause untold problems), it’s confusing as to how no one notices Rob and the American Rabbit are the same, nearly all of the characters have little to no discernible personality at all in part due to the voice cast sounding tired and/or bored (with the exception of Ping Pong the Gorilla, the Head Jackal and the main villain Vultor - their voice actors, Lorenzo Music, Bob Holt (but for a second, I thought the character was voiced by Jim Cummings) and Ken Mars seem to be the only ones who are actually TRYING throughout this whole thing), the main villain is an idiot with some incredibly stupid plans (and at one he even offers Rob the chance to work with him even though he has no legs to stand on in claiming they’re similar), the tone of the film both feels like it’s trying to be taken seriously at parts where it’s so ridiculous you can’t it seriously and the stakes fall short AND trying to be funny and not really managing, a lot of the plot points seem to just happen or they just seem to come across solution without any real fanfare, a lot of plot points are left UNRESOLVED by the end including the main conflict about that nightclub, there’s this weird bit where they keep going on a ‘we can’t judge the jackals just because they’re jackals’ moral in regards to the evil jackals, but the heroes KEEP JUDGING THEM BECAUSE THEY’RE JACKALS ANYWAY and as a whole and the film as a whole just feels meaningless and hollow - I don’t know if it’s just because there were behind the scenes problems, but it doesn’t feel like there was a lot of heart put into the production of it. :/

So, unless you’re into some nice looking animation with a brainless story, I wouldn’t bother watching it. :/