#and steve too T_T

[ash-muses]

With his brows knitted, Loki listened while Steve explained the Midgardian ceremony with a sliver of curiosity dancing in his eyes. When he mentioned marriage, the God's eyebrows arched sharply and his features subtly softened with a hint of understanding and something unreadable. He hadn't been expecting the mortal to propose to him - that he would want to stay by his side, let alone to the end of his life. "You... want to marry me?" came his low response, laced with a flicker of incredulity. There was a moment of hesitation as he contemplated the offer, finding appeal in having a life-long companion - someone that would take care of him, to potentially love him in the ways he had sought for so long.

But it wasn't long before his wariness heightened, eyes narrowing slightly as he studied Steve intently. "And what would you seek in return...?" he prodded, gently yet firmly. Loki couldn't help himself; it had been embedded in him for far too long, to be cautious of those around him and to question their motives, to treat everything as though it were a negotiation. Even in a moment such as this, his pulse quickened and his chest tightened slightly. Who could love a monster such as him, anyway?

"I should do the one thing on Midgard that would link us should it prove to you that you will not be alone. It is an honorary ceremony and before it was not allowed by the same sex but now it is more equal. I should marry you should you want it."

"It is a promise that you will not be alone...that we will be together until such time as I can no longer be with you. Until such a time as I pass from this world. Until such a time I will be with you and take care of you in the ways that a lover should."

[delusionalwriterr]

See Her Smile

Pairing: College Athlete!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: With Bucky being new to relationships, he’s still trying to learn how to handle things. But how does he handle things when you’re going through something you don’t even know how to handle yourself? 

Word Count: 5.1k

Warnings: signs of depression, angst, fluff

A/N: GUESS WHO’S BACK FROM THE DEAD Y’ALL. i missed writing so much, but life keeps giving me reasons not to T_T this fic is based off of See Her Smile from Tick, Tick... Boom! it's been stuck in my head all week, and i couldn't help but write something about it.

Masterlist | Prompt List

–––––

You hear Nat cheer beside you as you watch Steve catch the ball that was thrown to him. “That’s my man!” she exclaims as you take a swig of water, watching the football team as they prepare for an upcoming game. 

This wasn’t your normal scene. If you’d ask your freshman self if she’d be willing to sit in the sweltering heat to watch sweaty men push each other around, she would laugh it off and turn back to binge watching her favorite show on Netflix. It wasn’t until you started dating one of the university’s linebackers, Bucky Barnes, did you even begin to consider watching football matches and turning up to their practices all together. 

“Come on, lighten up! Your man’s over there too,” Nat pipes up, briefly looking over at you before turning back to watch the team. You chuckle as your eyes land on his figure. You couldn’t exactly see his face, but you were able to spot him in the field considering you’ve been dating for about 4 months now. You let out a cheer as you watch him tackle another player to the ground. His head snaps towards the direction of your voice as he stands up.  You can’t see it, but you knew he was smiling. He puts his hand on his chest before pointing at you, his way of saying, “That one’s for you!”

You grin, cheeks heating up at his gesture as you feel your chest swell. Nat turns to you, a sly smirk on her face as she sips her iced coffee. “I take it that things with you two are going well?” she asks, making you tear your attention away from the field. You grin even wider before answering, “Yeah, things are great.”

You have to admit, you’d never think you would end up dating a football player– and when Bucky approached you one night at a random party to ask you out, you halfheartedly said yes, expecting that he would just take you to a random sports bar and try to hook up with you the same night. Fortunately, the date went better than expected with him bringing you to his favorite taco truck downtown and driving you to one of those retro drive-in movie theaters. However, he failed to check what movie they were playing that night and had the both of you watch a random Scandinavian film with no subtitles. In the end, the two of you decided on staying in the car and get to know each other more with the movie long discarded in the background. 

Eventually, you ended up going on a few more dates after that and got to know how sweet he really was. Sure, he was still a jock and was still getting a hang of being in a committed relationship, but you could see him actively put the effort in it so you were more than happy. 

You hear their coach blow his whistle, signaling the end of their practice which prompts you and Nat to jump from your seats and head down to the field to meet Bucky and Steve. Nat gets there first, crashing into Steve’s embrace, almost knocking him over. You laugh at the interaction before your eyes land on Bucky’s. With his helmet off, you have the opportunity to finally see his face. His hair was flat from his helmet with a few strands clinging to his forehead, the eye black on his cheeks smudged due to the sweat, and his mouth stretched into that boyish grin you grew to love. 

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?” he asks playfully as you approach him. He puts his helmet down to wipe the beads of sweat on his face. “Just looking for some hot jocks to kiss,” you tease, earning a laugh from him before he wraps his arms around your waist. “Find anyone you like?” he plays along. You smile, snaking your arms to the back of his neck. “Oh, yeah, I got one right here,” you giggle as you pull him into a kiss. It was soft and slow, and you could taste the saltiness of the sweat on his upper lip, but you didn’t care. 

“Hello to you too, dollface,” you hear him mumble between your lips before pulling away.  “I’m taking Steve to that new pizza place that just opened near campus, come with us?” he asks, shaking his head which elicited droplets of sweat to fly towards you much to your disgust. “You’re such a boy for doing that,” you grumbled. “But yeah, count me in.”

He smiles, but before he could get another word in, Nat interjects, “Count me in, too!” 

Bucky shakes his head, “Nuh uh, you’re not invited. Steve told me how sick he was of you and how loud you snore when you sleep.” Nat gasps before playfully hitting Steve in the chest, earning an “ow” from him. “You told Bucky?!” she shrieks, but before she could protest even more, Steve pulls her into a kiss, muttering a quick “I love you”, then runs towards the shower room. Bucky turns back to you, giving you a swift kiss. “Pick you, guys, up in 20.” 

As he was leaving, he looks back over at Nat and lets out a few loud snores, prompting her to throw a handful of dirt towards him. “Screw you, Buchanan!”  

–––––

A few days later, Bucky walks out of the field, his bag hanging from his shoulder, a cold breeze brushing through him as he begins to walk back to campus. “Hey, Buck, solid practice today,” Sam Wilson, one of the tackles, pipes up from behind him. “Yeah, man, good job today,” Bucky replies, giving his teammate a fist bump. “Me and Parker are gonna grab a few drinks, you coming?” 

Bucky laughs, the thought of Parker getting tipsy over a few pints entering his mind. He shakes his head, “I’ll pass tonight, man. Might go see my girl.” 

Sam smirks before clasping a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Alright, see you around.” 

“Hey, take care of Parker, alright? Don’t want his aunt to find out he got wasted over a few cocktails!” Bucky calls out, earning a cackle from his teammate as he walks away. 

He checks the time to find out practice ended a few minutes early so he sends you a quick message, knowing you’re probably still in class. 

hey doll practice finished early

want me to walk you to your dorm? i should be able to swing by to pick you up from class

He waits for a few minutes before hearing a ping from his phone, gaze immediately falling to the screen. 

no need. didn’t go to class today wasn’t feeling well. 

oh? you want me to bring you some soup?

no its ok. thank u tho

anything for you, baby

do you want me to come over tho? 

maybe next time, bucky. sorry

Bucky frowns, taking notice of the difference in the way you typed. You were colder than usual and you’d usually want to see him even when you weren’t feeling the best. He’s a bit disappointed too, wanting to take care of you until you get better, but knows to respect your wishes. So he brushes it off. 

He shoots you a quick text saying he hopes you feel better soon before messaging Sam to say he’ll catch up with him and Parker in a few. 

Looks like he’ll take up Sam’s offer after all. 

–––––

Bucky cranes his neck over to the bleachers, but frowns when his eyes land on Nat sitting alone. You didn’t come to his practice today. Bucky would’ve been fine about it, but he knows you didn’t have any conflicting classes at this time and you would’ve messaged him beforehand if you weren’t able to come for whatever reason. 

“Maybe she’s still feeling under the weather,” Steve reasons, following his best friend’s gaze towards the seats.  

Bucky nods absentmindedly in response, “Yeah, I guess so.”

He was trying so hard to hide the fact that he was getting increasingly worried. He also doesn’t want to seem too clingy considering you’ve only been seeing each other for a short time. He’s only been in a handful of serious relationships before, and most of them happened when he was still a clueless teenager in highschool. You were the first person he was willing to be fully committed to after a few months of fooling around in college so he definitely does not want to screw things up.

After practice, he asks Nat if she knew where you were only to find out that Nat was just as clueless as he was. With a huff, Bucky fishes his phone out of his pocket. 

missed you at practice today. still feeling sick? 

“Hey,” Steve calls from behind him, Nat trailing closely behind. “Nat and I are gonna go study at the library, see you there?” 

Bucky snorts. “By study at the library you mean get frisky by the shelves at the back? Yeah, I think I’ll pass.” 

Steve laughs as Nat drags him away from the field, patting Bucky’s back comfortingly before fully parting ways. This action goes unnoticed as Bucky’s eyes remain glued to his phone, waiting for your reply. 

A few minutes pass and he grows antsy. He hesitantly types another message. 

baby? 

This time, you read the message, but still don’t reply. Bucky runs his hand through his hair, a sign that he was growing anxious. He looks around the field, desperately trying to find someone to talk to so he could take his mind off of you. To his dismay, the rest of the team either left or were still in the showers. 

Bucky thinks about his next move. 

i’m coming over. 

He quickly stuffs his phone in his pocket and practically sprints over to your dorm, a million things racing in his mind. His chest tightens at the thought of you being in trouble, not really knowing what to expect when he sees you. If he sees you. 

Bucky shakes his head to get rid of the image of him turning up at your dorm only to find it empty– he wouldn’t know where to begin looking for you considering you won’t reply to his messages. This is the first time you acted like this towards him, and Bucky tries to recall everything he’s said to you lately, attempting to think of anything that could have upset you. His pace slows down as he begins to question if he was overthinking things, his mind tricking him into thinking that he was being too clingy and it might turn you off. But with the absence of your replies and the assurance that you’re okay, Bucky’s strides become bigger and he picks up speed towards your dorm. 

A head of brown hair meets his gaze as the door to your apartment swings open upon his knock. “Hey, Wanda,” Bucky greets your roommate, chest heaving and beads of sweat adorning his forehead. “I’m sorry for barging in all of a sudden. Is she..?”

Before he could finish his sentence, Wanda nods, opening the door wider for him to come in. Bucky nods his head as he enters. “She’s in her room,” Wanda mumbles before closing the door behind him. 

Bucky mutters a “thank you” before walking towards your door, about to turn the handle, but hesitates for a second. Slowly taking his hand off the brass knob, he raises a hand and places two soft knocks on the door. “Doll,” he calls, loud enough that he’s sure you hear him, but gentle enough to not startle you. When he doesn’t hear a reply, he continues, “Can I come in?” 

A few seconds later, a soft click from the other side fills his ears. Bucky takes this as a signal to slowly turn the knob and peak inside. He barely caught a glimpse of you walking back to your bed before he sees you pull the covers back to climb in, reassuming the position he figured you were in before you unlocked the door. 

Bucky steps inside and if it wasn’t for him shutting the door behind him, separating the two of you from the noises outside your bedroom, he wouldn’t have heard the sniffles that were coming out of your mouth. Your back was facing him, but he can clearly tell that you were hugging your knees to your chest as you tried to control your breathing, desperately attempting to conceal your cries. 

“Baby…” he breathes, approaching you cautiously and planting himself by your feet. Only then does he catch a glimpse of your face, your eyes puffy and cheeks tinted pink, presumably from crying for an extended period of time. Bucky frowns upon seeing you in this state. He’s seen you cry before, but it was usually from a sad movie or being stressed with homework. He doesn’t know why you are crying now, but he’s determined to find out. He places a hand on one of your calves and begins to rub soothing circles on it. “Did something happen?” 

You shake your head, not trusting your voice as you begin to wipe the tears that were still trickling down your cheeks. “Wanna tell me why you’re crying?” Bucky persists, eyes still fixed on you. You shrug and the room falls silent as you close your eyes.   

Bucky hears you take a deep breath before finally piping up. “Just feeling a little down,” you mumble, voice hoarse and barely loud enough for Bucky to catch. He moves his hand from your calf to one of your feet, giving it a soft squeeze before beginning to slowly press on its sole, easing the tense muscles and giving you a brief moment of peace. 

Bucky tries to think of what to say, but is interrupted by the sound of his phone going off. Clicking his tongue, he grabs his phone to find a text from Pietro.

hey wya? im at the study hall 

Cursing to himself, he suddenly remembers that he and Pietro agreed to meet tonight to work on a project they were partners in. Typing a quick reply to say that he’s on his way, he turns back to you before leaning over to press a kiss on your temple. “We all get blue sometimes, doll. We just gotta hang on, you know?” he attempts to comfort you, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I gotta run, promised Pietro we’d do that project tonight. But I hope you feel better soon, baby. If you need anything, just text me, okay?” 

–––––

You don’t text him at all that night. 

In fact, if it wasn’t for the good morning text Bucky sent the next day, Bucky thinks you wouldn’t have texted him at all. Your replies grew colder and you became more distant, and Bucky was suffering. 

“Dude, what’s up? If you’re not busy being a total grump, you’re staring at your phone like you’re expecting something to pop out of it,” Steve points out as he, Bucky, and Nat sit in the cafeteria to have lunch. Bucky grumbles before slamming his phone face down on the table and sliding it away from him. “It’s (Y/N),” he starts, “she’s been acting off for days now.”

Steve and Nat share a look before Nat pipes up, “Have you tried asking her why?” Bucky scoffs. “Well, duh!” Bucky exclaims, running his hands through his hair. “I went over to her’s last night, but she just told me she was just feeling a little down.”

“And what did you say?” Steve asks. Bucky’s eyes meet his friend’s as he sighs. “I told her everyone gets sad and that we should just hang on. I left after that because I had to do that history project with Maximoff.”

The table falls silent and Bucky begins to zone out, thinking that the conversation would end there, but is quickly brought back to reality when something hits him dead center in the face. “Ow!” Bucky shouts as his hand flies up to cradle his nose. His eyes land on the table, a bread roll laying in front of him, causing his gaze to shoot up at the red head sitting across him. “Did you just throw a bread roll at me?” Bucky asks, his eyes wide with disbelief and confusion. 

“Well, duh!” Nat mocks, rolling her eyes at the brunette. “I always thought football players were dumb because of how much trauma their heads go through every game, but you’re on a whole ‘nother level, Buchanan.”

Bucky blinks. “Care to elaborate?”

Nat lets out an exasperated sigh before Steve butts in, “She’s obviously going through something, Buck. You can’t just tell her to suck it up.”

“Hellooooo!” Nat interjects, waving her hand in front of Bucky’s face as if what they were pointing out was the most obvious thing in the world. “She isn’t some jock going through a losing streak or something, actually be there for her, you know?” 

“Would you cut me some slack? It’s the first serious relationship I’ve been in since highschool, I’m still getting a hang of things again,” Bucky glares. He eyes the bread roll in front of him before giving in and grabbing it to take a bite. Nat watches him, a look of disgust adorning her face. 

The three of them sit in silence as Bucky contemplates on what to do. He picks up his phone to see no new messages from you, but his eyes catch the time. He knows you don’t have classes right now, and he figures you would just be in your dorm. He doesn’t want to ruin things with you, so he jolts up from his seat, catching the attention of the couple in front of him. “I’m gonna fix this,” he mumbles to himself before storming out of the cafeteria to head over to you.

“Atta boy!” Steve calls after him.

Bucky can feel his heart in his throat as he shakily knocks on your front door. To his surprise, you answer the door this time. His mouth starts to form a smile, but quickly turns into a frown when he takes in your form. At first, his heart skipped a beat when he noticed that you were wearing one of his shirts which was too big for you, the hem of it ending just by your thighs, and the bottom of one of his boxers peeking through it. 

But once he caught the way your shoulders were slumped and the dark circles around your eyes, he knew better than to celebrate. “Hey,” he exhales, flashing a sad smile, “can I come in?” 

You nod wordlessly before leaving the door ajar and making your way towards the couch. Bucky steps inside, shutting the door behind him before following suit. He sighs when he sees you on the couch, knees tucked closely to your chest and you watch whatever show is playing on the TV, eyes in an absent daze. 

He takes a seat beside you, draping an arm across the back of the couch only for you to launch yourself towards him like it’s a reflex. You wrap your arms around his waist and bury your face into his chest as he instinctively encases you in an embrace. Bucky’s heart breaks as he hears you rack out a sob, his thumb beginning to rub circles on your shoulder. 

He gently places a kiss on your forehead as he feels his shirt become damp with your tears. “I’m sorry for leaving so soon the last time I was here,” he mumbles, lips still pressed to your temple. 

You don’t answer back right away and Bucky is forced to listen to you cry, his heart shattering after every noise that comes out of your mouth. 

“It’s just a drag,” you say between sniffles, “the world’s so mean.” 

Bucky furrows his eyebrows, not really understanding what you mean, but tries to think of something to say. His conversation with Steve and Nat replay in his mind as he desperately thinks of a reply, determined not to mess things up like last time.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, testing out the waters. He takes note of your silence and whispers, “Something’s breaking my baby’s heart and I wanna know what.” 

You let out a soft huff. “That’s the problem. I don’t know why I feel so down.”

The room falls silent. Bucky could hear his heartbeat in his ears, he felt his hands grow sweaty, his throat became dry, and his eyes began to prickle as tears started to form. He prays to whoever was listening before he asks. 

“Is it me?” 

“No, god no,” you shoot up, detaching yourself from him much to his dismay. Your eyes wide as he stares back at you with the same expression. Bucky looks down and begins to fiddle with his hands, another nervous tick of his, and you realize why he’s been so persistent about finding out what was making you upset. 

Bucky was afraid that he was the reason you’re in pain. 

You attempt to pacify his thoughts by placing your hands on both sides of his face. Bucky lets out a shaky breath as he leans into one of your hands, peppering it with feather-like kisses. You give him a teary smile. “It’s just that life’s so hard sometimes, you know?” 

Bucky gives you a smile in return, a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes as he stares at you, trying to dig through the deepest parts of his brain to come up with something, anything, that could possibly make you feel better.

But before he could, you remove your hands from his cheeks and place them on your own as you wipe tears that you didn’t even know were flowing down your face. You stand up, causing Bucky to look at you in confusion. “You should go.”

“What? No,” he protests, standing up following you as you begin to walk towards the front door. Bucky’s mind is racing. 

Come on, dumbass, say something. Anything!

He opens his mouth, “Baby–”

“I just need to rest, Buck,” you interrupt, opening the door. “It’s not you, I promise.”

You press a kiss on his cheek as he looks down at you with sad eyes. 

You let out a small smile, “I’ll text you, okay?”

–––––

But you don’t.

You don’t text him even the day after that. 

Bucky’s mind was spinning. He felt absolutely helpless, and if it wasn’t for the harsh sound of a whistle filling his ears, he wouldn’t have snapped out of his daze. 

“Barnes!” the voice of his coach was enough for him to remember that he was in fact in the middle of the football field in the middle of practice. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you lately, but if you can’t pull yourself together then you’re benched for the next game. You hear me?” the coach shouts from across the field. 

Bucky nods absentmindedly before shouting back, “Sorry, coach!” 

He shakes his head, trying to retain focus and deciding to pay you one more visit later. Bucky didn’t know what to do nor say, but he sure isn’t leaving your dorm without mending things. 

He sets those thoughts aside for now, and turns his attention back to his team. 

Bucky figured he had totally zoned out during practice because it was only when Steve sat beside him did he realize that practice was over. “(Y/N) still not feeling okay?” Steve asks, sympathy dripping from his every word as he looks at Bucky whose eyes were going through all of the unanswered texts he sent you today. 

good morning, doll

hope you’re feeling at least a little better today :) 

–

don’t forget to eat

<33 

–

just finished my trigonometry exam lol pretty sure i flunked it 

–

call me if you need anything, okay?

– 

found out parker has a gf lmaooo

i kept denying it til he introduced her to the whole team 

you’d like her :) she’s smart like you 

–

i miss you

please text me back 

–

heading to practice 

i miss you so much, doll 

Bucky drops his head in his hands, tears threatening to spill. “I don’t know what to do anymore, Stevie,” he croaks. “I just wanna see her smile again.” 

–––––

He’s met with Wanda again as the door to your dorm swings open. “Is she here?” Bucky stutters, not even bothering to apologize for showing up unannounced. Wanda shakes her head, “No, she’s been gone since last night.”

Bucky’s eyes widen as he swears he almost felt his heart stop at Wanda’s words. His breathing quickens and his chest grows tight as Wanda ushers him into the apartment. “What do you mean she’s been gone since last night? Has she talked to you today?” Wanda shakes her head again, “I’ve been texting her since this morning, but she hasn’t replied to any of it.” 

Bucky runs his hands through his hair as he begins to think about what could’ve happened to you. He starts to make a list of who to call, frantically trying to think of ways to locate you. This was it, he thought. This was how he lost you forever. If he just knew what to say at the right time, if he had just been a good boyfriend to you, this wouldn’t have happened and you wouldn’t be gone. 

He can’t breathe, his mind begins to scramble and his vision turns foggy. Bucky clutches a hand to his chest to try and ground himself, forcing himself to think. 

Think, Barnes, think! 

Just as he was about to dial 911, they hear the sound of keys rattling from the other side of the door causing both his and Wanda’s heads to snap towards its direction. Bucky holds his breath, uttering a dozen prayers in his head, hoping that it was you. 

It’s only when he sees you walk through the door did the tears finally start to flow. He bounds over to you and instantly throws his arms around you, pushing your head towards his chest. Bucky silently thanks whoever granted his prayers as one of his hands fly to rest behind your head before placing a bruising kiss on your forehead. After this, he rests his chin on top of your head and looks up, desperately trying to keep any more tears at bay. 

“I’ve been worried sick, doll, where were you?” he asks, trying to hide the fact that he’s been crying, but the crack in his voice gives it away. “Hmpff mff humff,” he hears you mumble against his chest, drawing a teary chuckle from him as he pulls away. “Sorry, come again?” 

“I went over to my parents to try and cheer myself up, I’m sorry I should’ve told you where I was going, I had my phone off the whole day and—”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Bucky laughs breathlessly, pulling you back into him. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

He sees Wanda slowly retreat back into her room to give you space. The two of you stand there in silence, holding each other as you relish in the feeling of being in each other’s arms. 

“I don’t know if I’m okay, honestly,” you say, quietly. 

“And that’s perfectly fine, too,” Bucky replies, cradling your face in his hands. “Listen I know I haven’t been dealing with this as best as I could but—”

“No, Bucky–”

“Let me finish, doll. I know I'm still trying to find my footing with all of this, but I want you to know that I'll be here no matter what, okay? When you’re happy, when you’re sad, or even when you don’t know what you’re feeling.”

You smile at him gratefully, resting your hands on top of his. “I don’t know what’s been going on with me recently. I think college is just getting to me or something. It feels like I always wanna find the rain even on a sunny day, you know?” 

Bucky continues to stare into your eyes, sadness glazing over them. You shake your head and begin to pull away, “Forget it, it sounds stupid–”

“Woah hey, no,” Bucky interjects, placing his hands on your hips. “It doesn’t sound stupid. I may not fully understand what you’re feeling, but I’m here, aren’t I?” 

You shake your head. “I really don’t wanna drag you into this, you have so many things on your plate–”

You’re interrupted by Bucky placing his lips on yours, engulfing you in a kiss so passionate, it takes your breath away. 

“But I’m in it for the long run with you,” he mutters against your lips. 

You stumble because for the months you’ve been together, the future never really fell into conversation between the two of you. With your schedules being so hectic, you and Bucky wordlessly settled with just going with the flow, and you were fine with that. But upon hearing the words leave Bucky’s lips, you began to think what this meant. 

Bucky tenderly places his hands back on your cheeks, rubbing them softly in order to soothe you. “If it feels like life is dragging you down, then hang on ‘cause I'll be your bodyguard,” he starts, earning a soft chuckle from you which urges him to continue.  “If you feel like the whole world is a red flag, then I'll be with you to look for the green, and hell, if you wanna find rain on a sunny day then I’ll be there to dance all through the pain with you, doll.” 

Tears start to flow down your face, once again, as you smile. You smile in a way that Bucky hasn’t seen from you for the past few days. He smiles back. 

“But you gotta try to talk to me, okay?” he pipes up, wiping your tears with his thumbs before pressing another kiss on the top of your head. “I know I’m a meathead, but I promise I wanna try to understand what you’re feeling so I can help.” 

You nod against his lips as Bucky lets out a breath. You stay that way for a while, and Bucky was already satisfied with how the conversation turned out, vowing himself not to push you further into talking things out. It isn’t until he hears you mumble the words he’s been longing to tell you for so long that he feels his world come to a halt. 

“I love you.” 

This is the first time these words were uttered between the two of you, and Bucky feels his chest tighten again, but this time, it was due to an overwhelming sense of joy. He pulls you tighter against him before breathing out, “I love you too. So much.”

It was then Bucky realized that he didn’t need to mend things when you’re feeling this way. As much as he’d like to take away the pain, he knew that reminding you that he’ll always be there despite it is, and always will be, enough.  

–––––

A/N: hope you guys liked this one! highly recommend listening to the song itself, cuz it brings me so much comfort and i hope it brings you comfort too! <33

[critter-of-habit]

When I watched the new What If episode with Peggy & Nat I immediately thought of you, your art, and what your reaction would be. Especially since it was kind of a retelling of Captain America & The Winter Soldier.

What are your thoughts on the episode?

Seeing as you asked, I WILL TELL YOU MY MANY THOUGHTS. WITH PICTURES.

under the cut for length lol

First of all, as usual the animation, particularly the lighting, was incredible. Also the effects! The explosions, smoke, everything. Always blows me away how much effort and love these animators put in to What If.

I love that it's Winter Soldier based because by god do I love that movie - but I also love that it's so very different to my AU cos that means I can keep going with it lol.

Okay here we go with the highlights - Blatant flirting and showing off:

This???:

Just how in sync they were with every fight scene - even in the Battle of New York when they had only known each other for a few hours.

HEY LOVELY. LOVELY:

Angst. And how soft Nat is here:

"Hey, Peg. I got you."

Natasha's inability to sit in a chair properly:

Peggy making a star wars reference and Nat calling her out on it like .. Nat you RECOGNIZED the reference you're a nerd too

"You know I always wondered how you got all those GI Boys to follow a woman into war: question answered." ie. "I'm so into you right now":

This Natasha stabbed Dreykov to death with a corkscrew and I love her for it.

Natasha instinctively putting herself in between Peggy and Steve even though they're both twice her size

I've already mentioned but, the choice to focus on Natasha's face in this scene:

Nat's face here:

Natasha only getting taken down by the robots because her gay-Peggy-focused-ass gets distracted when Peggy runs off to protect Steve: (I'll come back to this point later as a negative)

MELINA.

Was anyone else looking to see if Yelena was there

"Let's unpack that later, shall we?"

"I don't know whether to kiss you, kill you, or dissect you." "Let me guess, all three?"

I bet the Captain Carter film was baby Nat's gay awakening lol:

Melina's glorious slo-mo "grandma, it's me, anastasia" coat drop:

Peggy running to save Nat T_T

These shots:

Nat wearing the same outfit from Winter Soldier:

Natasha "too-loyal-and-infatuated-for-her-own-good" Romanoff going along with Peggy again to look for Steve without even being asked. (in stark contrast to the end of Winter Soldier when Natasha did not go with Steve to look for Bucky, I might add)

New reaction image:

Peggy and Nat calling and reaching out to each other when the portal opens and ALMOST making it - then Natasha punching the ground in desperation T_T

These two look SO COOL and I can't wait for the 1602 episode.

Negative points:

Rehashing Ste/ggy all over again - we already HAD that and it was endgame, why do it again?

As much as I adore Natasha's intense loyalty, it's very one sided in this episode and I'm wondering if that's intentional. Peggy is hyperfocused on Steve and leaves Nat behind to run after him multiple times, even though he is in an entire suit of armor and is FINE and Natasha is the one actually getting injured. Then she's leaving at the end without saying goodbye to go find Steve again (despite there being no reason to think he's alive? he EXPLODED??) even though Natasha just went through a trauma too and shouldn't be abandoned. Kinda feels like Peggy is taking Natasha's always being there for granted and I really hope it's addressed in following episodes (though I doubt it will be - it'll just be Steve focused again -_- )

Okay I think I'm done. This was a LOT I'm not sorry I've been waiting for more content for SO LONG I can't wait for the rest of the episodes to rip my heart out and stomp on it :3

[steddieficfind]

it was a longer one, well over 50k i think, on ao3. it was your classic “eddie pretends to be into steve bc cc thinks it’ll be funny” thing except he was doing it specifically to prove to gareth that steve wasn’t homophobic. the rest of hellfire was there when steve found out and they all shunned eddie/cc about it, i remember part of eddie making up for things was doing yard work for the sinclairs? dustin took it especially hard and was the last to forgive eddie i think. eddie learned how to make monkey bread from karen bc it was steve’s favorite? stobin went to community college and steve tried to date a guy there but he was too hung up on eddie. they got back together after some of eddie’s old drug contacts forced him to help them with a robbery and he called hop and crashed the van to stop them. one of the recent finds on here was too good to be true and it awakened the hunger for this specific flavor of angst, the beast within me will never rest until it’s sated T_T thank you for all your hard work!!

Request 759! Send us an ask if you recognize this fic!

[talanashta]

✏️ WIP Word Game

Rules: You will be given a word. Share one sentence/excerpt from your wip(s) that start with each letter of that word.

I was tagged by the every sweet and amazing @little-annie a couple weeks ago and forgot (T_T) so I'm getting to it now for WIP Wednesday. My word was LICK. (This was a hard one! I had to start 2 snippets mid-sentence!)

L

Lucas shook his head in the background, and Max looked offended.

“El and I want to watch the Breakfast Club, dipwad. You’re the only one who wants to watch Labyrinth,” Max told him. (From my Sept Stobin Extravaganza Day 8 Fill - Movie Night, that I still haven't managed to finish.)

I

I’ve had a crush on you for a really long time, but I’m not brave like you. I wish I was; I’m such bullshit. I’m too scared to tell you in person, so I’ll just have to be content with this letter to tell you how I feel. I couldn’t keep it in anymore after I saw you today. (From my fic for the Byler Big Bang, coming out in November!)

C

... Corroded Coffin was performing their regular show. It took three cars to get everyone there, but they managed. The kids were noisy as hell on the way there, but luckily Steve missed most of it, since he only had to drive Dustin and Robin. Jonathan had taken Argyle, Eden, Will, and El in his car, and Nancy crammed the rest in hers. He could tell by the worn out face Nancy was wearing when she arrived, though, that the rest of the Party had been just as wound up as Dustin was. (From Chapter 2 of Show Night)

K

... kind of scared you wouldn’t; I thought you might find it weird and creepy for me to be writing you and saying all this stuff when you have no idea who I am. I know girls find it romantic, or whatever, but guys don’t really talk about this kind of thing, so I wasn’t sure how you’d take it. I’m glad I didn’t scare you off. (Also from my Byler Big Bang fic!)

I tag @dame-zoom-a-lot! No pressure, but if you want to, your word is THEN.

[strangersteddierthings]

Hi, I hope that's okay I send you an ask for that : I start read a fic steddie in tumblr but I lost it before finished the part 02. It's after S04, Eddie is dead, Steve has good parent (named Maggie and Jon I think), all adult learn the true. Suddenly Steve has a vision/dream about Eddie who is not dead but possessed (probably a vampire), Steve is attached in front of his cheminé cause he is probably possessed too and I lost it T_T do you know wich one it is?

Hi! I have not read that one, but maybe someone else will have so I'm going to post and see if this sounds familiar to anyone else?

Also, you should send this ask to @steddieficfind.

[mute-call]

gosh, every single version of steve ive seen from you so far is equally well thought out, i have trouble picking a favorite! you have a great grasp on phone guy as a character, it continues to impress me. keep doing what youre doing :)

what is one thing you like about the way i play my character?

;;

THATS SO KIND OF YOU T_T ... i sometimes worry i spend too much time on aus & neglect canon steve, so i really appreciate hearing that the various avenues i've taken him down are all panning out okay! this is genuinely so, so sweet. i absolutely adore your writing & all of the characters i've seen from you, and this means a lot coming from you!! ty again!!!

[hirokari]

content creator year in review.

tagged by @daegall !! it's been so long since done a tag game holy shit

first creation of 2022. i'd live for you. || hehehehe first ever link click work!!! i actually like this one ^^ proud of it too!! written on 01122022 !!

one of your favorite creations of 2022. shirt || it has to be one of my favorites!!! i adore yuuta with all my heart and all i want for him is calm days <33

one creation you're really proud of. to the damaged, a lilium. || it's very different from my other works!!! i wouldn't say my best,, but i think i should take pride in my angst hehe

a creation that took you forever. christmas tree rashes. || though it may not be long in word count,, i really can't write works over a long duration!!! plots come to me in just a quick brief moment and when it passes,, i dont have the right mind to write it T_T

a creation from 2022 that received the most notes. shirt. || i stand corrected. i thought it was the hyuck christmas imagine w 100 notes but yuuta earned me 300.

a creation from 2022 you think deserves more notes. ham sandwiches. || ITS STEVE HARRINGTON. PLEASE. I LOVE THAT MAN AND IK ITS LIKE A SHITTY IMAGINE BUT FOR STEVE!!!!

a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it. maybe, possibly, perhaaaps... || i've been watching link click since 2021 but i havent gotten the confidence to write for the fandom until early this year!!! it's so nice to see the fandom and audience growing <33 shout out to boba bub!! rly motivating me to keep going lately ^^

a creation that broke your heart. is that not enough for you? || haha i know ewww fnafff micheal aftonnnn BUTTTT LIKE CMON. AFTER EVERYTHING HE'S BEEN THROUGH ALL I WANT TO GIVE HIM IS AHUG OKAY AND I NEEDED AN OUTLET FOR THAT

a 'simple' creation you really love. promise me. || hehe knight jeno hehe who doesn't love a little secret love between the monarch's child and their knight heehehe

a creation inspired by another one. mmm i don't think i have any? i barely have enough imagines,, like one for every month and all those are either plots that'd just popped into my head or inspired by songs heh

some of your favorite content creators this year. ooo!!! @luvdsc i love miss cat's works!!! always got me giggling kicking my feet in the sheets hehehe,, @daegall all the hyuck content you need is right here, the no. 1 pit stop destination for donghyuck fantasy land!! @iwonzzi HEHEEHHHMHHNN so much variety!!! fluff! angst!! comedy!! so iconic. @dourpeep and @witch-hazels-musings MY GO-TO GENSHIN CONTENT!!!! i rarely follow any genshin content creators on this platform,, but they're both so sweet and their works are so fun to indulge in when i have free time ^^

[solitarelee]

I'm really sorry to hear that Steve the ear mushroom is back! I had a similar, if less aggressive, ear mushroom that nearly lost me my eardrum once and the pain is noooo joke. My ENT told me that after the expensive antifungals did their job, I should mix half distilled vinegar and half isopropyl alcohol in a little dropper and put 3 drops in my ears after they get wet to keep it from returning (and necessitating more of the antifungals). It worked for me, obvs ask your doc, etc but I thought I'd pass it along bc tiny accordions full of gold sound like pricey repeat investments. I hope you're feeling well all considered and that you have a great day! And good riddance Steve!

Same same same I was ruptured friggin everywhere, I'm lucky my hearing wasn't strongly affected although my tinnitus did get noticeably worse.

I do have a very similar kind of ear drop (swimmer's ear drops basically, they're just an alcohol dilution) for when my ears get wet, which I used after The Inciting Incident (I somehow got water into my ears while doing LAUNDRY T_T) but alas... twas too late. The water got Real Deep In There.

Fortunately, the tiny accordion full of gold, while not covered by insurance, is only $45, which at this point in America is groceries for a family for a day lmao, so I'm able to swing it.

For anyone who's curious, the "gold dust" is composed of chloramphenicol, sulfanilamide, and hydrocortisone mixed together. It's apparently used for other fungal infections like athlete's foot, although I think the accordion is specific for ears LOL.

[bluedalliances]

Can't stop thinking about a Steddie fic inspired in Elsa's song by TAD. Just think about it. Eddie lives, but so does Vecna. And they fall in love, but it's a fragile thing, the precariousness of life always there, reminding them it can end any second now.

I can hear the cannons calling/ As though across a dream / And I can smell the smoke of hell/ In every stitch and seam / And like flowers, the bodies tumble /Around this muddied lot /I cannot hear them scream /"Forget me not"

We've got Steve, hunted by years of trauma and seeing how everything he always took for granted (safety, health, life, normalcy) is fragile, can fall apart in just a minute. Even if he tried to pretend everything's alright in-between trauma experiences, people are still dying, getting hurt, it'll happen again.

Then, he meets Eddie. Eddie, who is energy, sound, tenderness, hope, utterly beautiful in a world that almost lost its charm to fear, grief, and guilt.

Your voice it carries over/The hubbub and the hum/ And it paints the sky and circles high / Like the beating of a drum

Cause every second he spends with Eddie is a second of safety, of holding close that love for life and that hope for a future he only felt around the kids and robin. But now he sees himself in that future. It's not just people he loves surviving and thriving, he's there too, because Eddie says he needs him and the desperation in his eyes makes Steve believe him.

But it'll happen again. He knows, and he might actually lose him this time, so he tries to fight the feelings, to protect himself:

You will scream "I won’t forget you" / But I’ll cover my cold ears / It cannot be a lie/ If no-one hears

Some days things will be normal. They'll talk and cook and laugh and watch a movie, but a part of Steve is still somewhere else. Too alert, too focused on being ready for it to be over:

'Cause although you say good day to me /I know I don’t belong

Eddie will hold him at night after a nightmare, and Steve will press on his neck, desperate to feel his pulse, to remember he's alive. And they know they're in love, they want it all, but

Because love does not exist here/ In this garden, there’s no feeling/ And you say the words so often/ That I barely know the meaning

So they stay quiet, and just hold to each other through it. Because they know one of them, if not both, will probably die.

And when all the flowers are rotten/ and all the cannons shot / I’ll scream, but you won’t hear / "Forget me not"

And this would not be a happy ending. They'd lose each other knowing how big was their love, and how they never said a word about it.

And in years to come, you’ll wander / To the place up on our hill / And then you’ll cry to our painted sky / "I loved him then, I love him still" / And you’ll strew some sage and lilies / And roses where I rot / Of all the flowers you picked/ I knew you would forget forget-me-nots

I just can't stop thinking about it T_T

[marvelsmusings]

😏 (am i too late? T_T)

Bucky was grateful to Steve for all he'd done for him. Getting him to a safer place after everything with Zemo, with Tony.... it felt like they were always going to be on the run in some way or another, but now, being in his apartment with him, it felt right. Like just maybe he could have a fresh start. His trail had started, and the beginning of his mandated therapy was just days away, but it was a start. It was the one thing that kept him free from being behind bars. Steve had been a rock for him. He'd been here through everything and he knew he'd never be able to repay him. Steve was asleep in the other room just on the other side of the wall, or so Bucky thought. He knew they both were strangers to sleep. That's why he was being extra quiet as his good hand pumped his length, his teeth biting down on his bottom lip to stifle the moan that escaped him. "Ahhh..." He gasped, his imagination running away with him as he suddenly heard footsteps. He was sure Steve was just going to walk past his room, but then before he could pull the covers over himself, his door was opening.

@abcdefghijklmnopqrstucky

[thediktatortot]

You can't hide these in the tag @lazybakerart. I IMMEDIATELY had a cute image in my head T_T

Billy can't help but snoop around Steve's room while he showers, the two of them coming back to Steve's house for the first time since they've been tentatively 'dating'. Billy doesn't expect much given by how empty the bedroom feels in general, but being alone in Steve's bedroom for an extended period of time really has him itching to dig around.

So when Billy stumbles upon a tackle box on the floor of Steve's closet, he is wholly unprepared for the goldmine he finds when he opens the lid.

In each and every little cubby hole of the tackle box meant for fishing lures and hooks sit a pristine little car inside of it. It's a three tiered tackle box of colorful, shiny and occasionally rare to find hot wheels Billy's never had the chance to even get a chance to play with.

Steve walks back in right at that moment and Billy looks over with one of the most open expressions of surprise and awe that Steve thinks he's ever seen from the other boy. Billy's face goes red now that he's been caught and he closes the tackle box a tad bit too quickly but Steve only seems to smile.

"I uh...I've got the race track packed up in the basement if you uhm...want to break it out." Steve's cheeks go red as he speaks. "My parents used to get mad at me for setting it up on the steps so I could launch them out into the living room but-"

Steve's smile turns into a full grin. "The parents aren't here soooo..."

It takes almost an hour for the two of them to find the box that has the racetrack parts in for them to set up, another hour of setting it up and then before they even get to playing with them on the track, the two can't help but roll them around on the carpet at the top of the steps to 'race' each other to the start line.

Billy Hargrove secretly still really loves Hot Wheel cars. He has a secret collection of ones that he saved from being tossed the first time Neil threw away all his toys as a kid.

He has a small box of them he hid in the old Christmas ornaments box, knowing they'd be safe there as Neil never decorated. Now he keeps them stashed in his middle console of the Camaro.

[paechay]

that fucking trailer is the best thing i’ve ever seen in mY LIFE I CAN’T BREATHE RN im so NOT ready for thIS MoVIE

[juu-riin]

I just think he’s neat 🖤

[artinggrace]

//edit- added a final image to the post!

a late sendoff but thanks for the good times avengers academy… gonna miss ya kids but u will all live on in our art & fics…. ಥ_ಥ

Also posted on my twitter+instagram (@ artinggrace) please don’t repost!

Show a little love at ko-fi @ artinggrace! :D

[pasukiyo]

Can you do a fluff with a hint of smut Steve Harrington request where the older kids go to one of Eddie’s concerts and Steve and the reader end up making out in a gross bathroom finally able to let loose and be young and in love again since they haven’t had time to themselves between the Upside Down and making sure the kids are okay?

𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞.

— steve harrington x f!reader

warnings; semi-smut? nothing much.

a/n; i hope i got close to what you wanted! to be honest, i finished this last night like right after i got the request so i hope it doesn’t seem too rushed T_T and i apologize for it being so short!

word count; 1.3k

 her head was pounding. between dustin’s whinings about not getting to go to the concert, robin rambling nonstop about something keith had done at the family video earlier in the day, to now the cacophony of electric guitars, drums, and screaming fans permeating the tightly compacted room she was now squeezed into— it was safe to say that she was not having the bestest of days. she did her best to focus on her friend, eddie, as he fingered his precious warlock, and while she’d admit that he was pretty damn good at what he did, she couldn’t get past all the noise. 

 “you alright?”

 she glanced over to her boyfriend as he leaned down beside her, his chin practically on her shoulder due to how close they had to stand. he must’ve noticed the way she had been grimacing and rubbing her temples, all in attempt to soothe the tension on the other side of her skull. “oh, yeah. i just love having screaming fangirls in my ears and practically having my finger up the ass of the person in front of me,” she replied, her sarcasm laced in every syllable. steve’s lips curved up into a smile as he threw his arm around her shoulder, squeezing her tense muscles there. “don’t even get me started. i’m wondering if i should call the cops on the guy behind me, like, i know my ass is irresistible but this is getting ridiculous.”

 it earned a laugh from her, and she surged into his side, letting his warm arms and sweaty palms sear her own dewy skin. she fixed her eyes back onto the stage at eddie as he bent down towards the crowd, shredding his guitar whilst banging his head to the beat. “at least it looks like he’s having fun. how’s robin?” she turned and strained her neck to see over steve’s shoulder at their friend, but all she could catch was a swift glance of dirty blonde hair. “she’s been all over vickie tonight. i think she’s having a great time,” steve reassured, leaning down to press his lips against the crown of her head. she grinned at the thought that robin was happy, finally able to talk to the girl of her dreams without feeling like she’d throw up every few seconds.

 alas, it still wasn’t enough to clear the aching in her head.

 she grimaced once more when it seemed as though the music grew even louder than before, if it was even possible. she felt steve’s fingers tighten around her shoulder and she gazed up at him, umber irises seeming to glow even just from the stage lights. “how about you? are you enjoying the show?” he questioned, lips working against her ear. she felt her cheeks burned at the feeling of his breath fanning her skin, and she turned to tug him down to her level, her own lips against the shell of his ear. “eddie’s real good, don’t get me wrong, but i’ve never really been much of a metal person.”

 steve smiled against her ear, “me neither.”

 before she even knew it, steve’s fingers were laced together with hers and he was guiding her through the seemingly endless maze of people before finally making their way out into the lobby, where there was nobody except for a couple of stand-in guards outside the venue door. “steve, we can’t just leave robin and vickie,” she giggled when he stepped towards the exit, and he winced, fluttering his eyelids closed and leaning back against the wall. she chuckled as she squeezed his hand, pressing herself against him, her lips pressing a soft kiss to his jaw. “there’s always the bathroom though, you know…”

 it was how she ended up pressed against the most disgusting bathroom wall in all of hawkins, steve’s lips sloppily pressed against hers, his damp palms wandering her body. she mewled into his mouth as she tugged at the roots of his hair on the back of his head, her opposite hand grasping onto his elbow for stability. 

 “st—“ a moan interrupted her when she felt the tent in his pants up against her clothed cunt, her arousal pooling in her panties. “shit, steve,” she whimpered, her hands on his biceps in attempt to push him away, and he granted her a break for air. “hm?” he hummed in question, his lips dipping down to her collarbone, licking, kissing, sucking her skin there. her knees just about gave out on her, and if she didn’t stop herself now, it wouldn’t be long before she was a puddle of magma at his feet. “steve, i love you, and i want you more than anything right now, but i am not having sex with you in here. i feel like i’m catching seventy-three diseases just being in here.”

 his smile was a crescent against her flesh, and his shoulders heaved while he laughed, his forehead falling against her shoulder. she chuckled along with him, her fingernails tracing patterns into his back. “wasn’t this your idea?” he murmured as he straightened back up, his forehead resting against her own. “i mean, coming into the bathroom and all.” she giggled again, “well, yeah, but i didn’t expect it to be this filthy.”

 “hon, it’s a bathroom of a run-down concert venue slash bar. what exactly were you expecting?”

 she playfully slapped his chest as they broke into laughter, his lips chasing and capturing hers in a single, chaste kiss. “yeah, yeah, you don’t have to be such a smart-ass,” she tittered, her arms hanging lazily over his shoulders, fingers brushing against her own behind his neck. a small silence ensued, in which all they could do was gaze into one another’s eyes, surfing through each other’s waters, relishing every star’s reflection in them. 

 “this is nice,” he murmured. “just being here with you. alone for once.”

 her lips cracked into a smile again, “yeah. that’s a plus.”

 eddie’s band’s music, although muffled, still echoed throughout the room, every once in awhile, a lyric she could make out whispering through the walls. but it didn’t matter anyways, it was all background noise for all she cared. all she cared about was steve— the fact that he was here, enveloped in her arms and she in his, alive and well. 

 she wasn’t sure if she’d ever get to experience something like this again, not after what’s happened recently with the gates, and vecna, and the damn demobats. she recalled that day when vecna almost got max in the cemetery, the way she felt she couldn’t breathe as she searched for that kate bush song max had been fixated on lately. she recalled that night when steve had been attacked, and she recalled that feeling of sheer terror she felt, and the adrenaline that kicked up inside of her when she stepped up to fight them off of him. she could remember the way her heart beat then, and she swore she could feel it now—

 “hey. hey, what’s wrong? look at me.”

 steve’s forefinger hooked beneath her chin as he tilted her face up towards his, his brows furrowed, a wrinkle in his brow as he studied her face. she could feel her lips tremble when he brushed the pad of his thumb over them, but she also felt herself relax in relief. “nothing. i’m just— i’m just glad you’re here.”

 his face softened, and his fingers threaded through the tresses on the back of her head, drawing her into his chest, his opposite palms soothing over the landscape of her back. “yeah, i’m here baby, always going to be right here.”

 she clawed at the fabric of his shirt, taking in his scent and savoring it, basking in the presence of her steve. “do you think eddie or robin has noticed we’ve gone missing?” she suddenly asked, voice muffled due to her face being stuffed in his chest.

 “robin? nah. eddie?” he paused to laugh. “i don’t give a shit. this is way better than being in there, even if we do end up catching seventy-three diseases.”