#and specifically my dad bc I am sick of him looking confused by me having a weird gender when I have had weird gender all my life
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dirt-goth · 1 year ago
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I want to get dressed up all cute and gay but I also don't want to be seen like that irl right now. Evil<3
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asterekmess · 4 years ago
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S3A - E9
The last episode took me Hours to get through with all my notes, let’s hope this one doesn’t hurt my fingers so bad.
My fingers hurt too much to come up with a clever pun so Read More:
Thoughts:
This is a dumb first bullet point, but I love Tara’s hair. It looks like it’s braided or something, then in a bun at the back? I like it.
What exactly was the reasoning for her walking into the school alone like this? Let alone going That far into it? If it’s a 911 call that she’s so nervous about she has her hand on her gun, then shouldn’t there be more than one officer??
ALSO, that seems like Very Bad routine procedure? You got a 911 call (but we get no explanation as to what it was FOR) and the first thing you say when you see someone is “Why are you here?” shouldn’t you be asking “Who made the 911 call?” And then you tell them to leave, and to tell anyone Else they see to leave. When they could easily SEE the person you’re wanting to aim a gun at and TELL them to leave because there’s a cop in the school.
So I’m torn between Julia being just that sick and wanting to terrify each of her sacrifices (which...she talks about them like she’s Genuinely sad she had to kill them, but it was necessary to save the world, so that doesn’t sit right with me?) or fear being a Necessary part of the ritual, like, that the sacrifices Couldn’t be willing?
Honestly, Lyds, that’s so smart and reasonable. “I had to have the weird blackout to get here. YOU get to go find the body.”
What was the point of the staging in the shower room if she was gonna get thrown onto the sign?? Why move her at all?
ALSO if this is supposed to be a threefold death, then didn’t she do it wrong? She killed Tara by strangulating her, but didn’t do the head bash or the throat until after she’d moved her body, for some reason??? Don’t they need to happen like..near the same time?
No to mention that there wouldn’t be much blood bc her throat was slit After death, so the blood wasn’t pumping. Even laying her down wouldn’t render a large amount. But they’re going for horror, so...i guess i’ll let it pass.
Why does it feel like Julia is going after people close to STiles specifically? First Heather, now Tara? And then his Dad? That’s a weird coincidence when she’s got the entire town to choose from.
Also, sheriff, i love you, but ‘they’re not going to get away with killing one of our own.” is a REALLY fucked up line. Police getting pissed ONLY when other Police are the ones killed is SO FUCKED UP. Logistically, police are FAR more likely to get killed than citizens are, aren’t they? They’re the ones that’re supposed to be running into danger? Like, Soldiers don’t Only get pissed when other soldiers are killed, right? It’s literally like...your job to be in potentially fatal situations? that’s not even my point! My point is that your line implies that law enforcement was Half-assing it before a cop got killed. half a dozen people have died, so Beacon Hills should be Swarming with cops, but for some reason the big guns don’t come in until a cop dies? Your phrasing sucks, Noah. Were you gonna let them get away with it if they killed everybody BUT the cops? I’m being sarcastic on that last bit, btw.
I’ll admit, it’s nice to get some actual SUNSHINE in CALIFORNIA
Is Chris letting Allison stay home because she saw a dead body? FOr as long as she wants? I’m so confused, she’s seen Much worse things, shouldn’t it like raise an alarm that she’s choosing NOW to stay home?
Your badassery is tainted by the fact that you’re wearing a dress and fishnets, Allison. If you’re gonna go hunting put on some pants. or shorts AT LEAST. that’s just not Practical.
I love how blatant a lie Stiles is telling Julia in class. “do you play?” “No, my father does” when we Know he plays, and besides if his dad plays then stiles MUSt because that’s a two person thing most of the time? But no, he doesn’t want Julia to know Shit about him.
the loyalty of Lydia not going near Aiden after learning he killed Boyd is SO refreshing. I TOLD you, if she knew Aiden was a murderer she’d never have gotten with him in the first place.
NOt Derek. CORA. MY BABE BONDS FAST. (I mean, she was locked in a bank vault with him for however long)
FIrst off, I love Stiles losing his shit. Second, the acting here is so sub-par, and it looks like a writer’s mistake. okay, so, in acting, interruption is an ART. You have to let someone say enough to get their line across, but INterrupt them before they can finish in a way that looks natural. And you have to make sure not to come in late or you get an awkward pause (this is more common with newbies bc experience actors don’t stop their line, they keep it going until you figure it out.) So like The line is ...And shove it up your freaking--” Now, Scott needs to interrupt without being late, otherwise, unless Stiles Continues the line, he’ll pause after saying ‘freaking’ and it’ll be noticeable. here, the way scott interrupts him feels So Wrong, in part because he let’s Stiles get so far into his threat.
Also, I’m fucking pissed that Scott is downplaying how angry Stiles is. “okay, we get it.” is just...a garbage way to respond to a friend who’s hurting and clearly on edge, thinking Ethan is threatening him.
Exactly How do you “Know” Ethan didn’t want to kill Boyd? You weren’t there, fuckface.
Is this set after school? They’re shouting their heads off and no one’s coming? Even Stiles was shouting about wolfsbane.
THAT IS NOT HOW ACTUAL WOLF PACKS WORK YOU FUCKER. THAT’S A GARBAGE MYTH.
Hearing Cora’s little gasp as her head hit the wall hurt my heart.
Normally I’d be pissed about the girl standing back and not doing anything, but Lydia would be ripped apart and I do not blame her for shouting from the sideline.
I don’t understand what the hell is going on with the Chris stuff. Like, I guess he’s supposed to be looking into it on his own, but that still doesn’t explain where he got the information on this very specific ritual.
But I do understand Allison’s hesitance to outright ask her father what the fuck he’s doing, since last time that happened she was taken to a chained up derek in an underground tunnel system. Finding out her family are monsters is kind of her entire life, unfortunately.
Honestly, fuck yes. Cora go off. Though, I’m sad that no one is mentioning Erica, like At All. You realize she ALSO died at the hands of the ALphas, right? why does no one mention her when they talk about getting revenge?
I...am not talking about this scene.
I gotta say that I enjoy the fact that Allison called Stiles. That’s just...that’s p cool. BUT while it’s cute that her contact picture is from her conversation with Stiles in s2, it’s weird bc it’s a screenshot of the show, and we know that Stiles wasn’t taking pictures at that moment. But the effort is sweet!
I will say that it’s interesting that Cora doesn’t fight Stiles about helping him with his dad. She just finished yelling at Scott, Lydia, and presumably Stiles, and she’s clearly unhappy with literally everyone but Derek, but she’s been very humoring of Stiles. In every scene together, even when she’s snarking at him, she’s not an Asshole.
This conversation with Morrell makes...no sense. Scott literally said in the last episode that good liars wouldn’t have jumping heartbeats when they lied. Then he immediately went to ask Morrell if she was the killer and believed her (even though she’s sketchy as fuck) just because her heart didn’t jump. Wtf?
“But if I kill someone, I can’t be a True Alpha, right?” WHO SAID THAT EVER? WHO TOLD YOU THAT? SINCE WHEN? WTF?
I don’t know if it was intentional (maybe they mention it, but i haven’t gotten that far) but technically having this history teacher disappear leaves an empty class for Kira’s dad to fill when she shows up. Which is neat.
I will forever be angry that Aiden is touching Lydia here. He shouldn’t be near her. And that’s not even me being cranky! She IS PISSED AT HIM. She was avoiding him before today and even then the only reason she went near him was to act as a distraction.
Also, again, I am amazed at Cora’s PATIENCE with Stiles here. Seriously, they’ve clearly been there for a while as Stiles tries to find the words, but Cora didn’t just get pissed stand up and say “I’m a werewolf. People are dying. Help.” She continued to wait for him to talk.
When does stiles rearrange his room? I swear in the beginning of this season it was still in the previous formation with the corner bed sticking out and the desk under the window. Now the desk is facing a totally different direction and his bed’s up against the wall. It’s great, but like, when does it happen? Isn’t this literally the second time we’ve seen his room the whole season?
that’s such a weird text. “Mr Westover Missing” like I don’t know if it’s from Lydia or Scott, but you’re allowed to add some detail? Your keystrokes aren’t limited and there are no government agencies watching your texts for information.
Oh, poor Cora. I honestly wasn’t expecting to bond with her so quickly when I first saw her, but there’s something about getting to see characters being calm that really helps me vibe with them? Like, when they’re nothing but Fight Fight Fight it’s hard to actually relate in any way, but when you actually get to see them talk or relax, then you worry about that being taken away from them.
However much I hate Isaac and everyone else Constantly saying “But I want Scott here. We should ask Scott, blah blah blah” I will say that it’s getting REALLY annoying that Allison’s entire personality is “I”m going to run in with almost zero backup bc I want to be powerful and strong, but then I have to be saved bc I refused to ask for help in the first place.”
Wtf do you mean ‘i’m not that good at this yet’ Isaac? You’ve been a werewolf for literally like 5 months, only like two months less than Scott, and you were LIVING with a born werewolf for that ENTIRE time.
Chris you were shooting at nothing for like two-thirds of that time. That was an empty room. ALSO, if you’ve been there the whole time, why did you wait until he was dead to come out shooting?
Chris yells “help Him” and you go run to stand next to his body without bothering to pull him off the cord around his neck? You realize he might not be completely dead right? Or is his throat already cut?
Also, I wanna note, it was daylight when Cora passed out. Now it’s dark! He went to the ER with her and STAYED with her. I get that people say STiles is kind of callous, but he Constantly goes out of his way for near strangers, and I don’t think that should be overlooked.
No youfcking wouldn’t have Chris, you had tons of time while they were using the garrotte and you just stood there. They came in just before the kill was done, and except for Tara Julia has been leaving people’s bodies where they fall so she wouldn’t left right after. You were NOT ‘this’ close.
Yeah, yeah, and you’re both fucking guilty of being incapable of conversation. Chris you are the adult here, fucking act like it. You had a million chances to confront your daughter and you didn’t. Apparently that’s a habit she picked up from you.
What are they talking about, Scott healing himself?? He was thrown back, he wasn’t injured. I literally just went back and rewatched that scene. He falls backward and he’s completely fine. Stiles, there are so many better instances you could point to. For example, things that actually Happened.
That line is never gonna not hurt.
Stop touching Danny. Stop being near Danny. You are a literal serial killer, get your hands off him. GOD. your brother literally said he would murder danny if he saw you with him anymore, why are you putting him in danger? FUck you.
.....okay, lydia’s speech was meaningful until she fucking turned it into scott worship. Why couldn’t you have stopped at letting her say “maybe I’ll find them before it happens” Why couldn’t it be about HER for once? Why did you have to make it about how everyone thinks sunshine comes out Scott’s ass even though he’s literally not done a single thing to warrant it. He hasn’t Saved Anyone. He hasn’t done Anything to warrant all this trust. Lydia wasn’t there when he made Derek kill Gerard. SHE was the one to save Jackson. And Scott was the one who had to be saved BOTH when Allison had to stitch him up and when Stiles had to go after him in the gasoline. Jackson is the one who saved Lydia when Peter went after her. Scott Didn’t save deaton, that was Noah. He wasn’t the one who killed Peter, that was a combination of Stiles and Jackson’s molotovs and Derek’s claws. Scott wasn’t even the one to protect Lydia when Derek and the pack went after her, that was Stiles, Allison, and Jackson. SHe had no idea that Scott was even THERE until she ran out of the house. Scott didn’t stop Matt, that was Allison’s family scaring him off and then Gerard killing him. THe only possible thing that could count was him saving the two little kids while Boyd and Cora were running around in the woods, and Lydia doesn’t even KNOW about that. Scott has canonically done NOTHING worth all this faith and ‘leader’ nonsense.
were...were they hinting at a Scott/Lydia relationship before they brought Kira in? Holding hands isn’t really a friend thing...?
That....is the softest most broken little ‘hey’ that I’ve ever heard and I’m Instantly on the verge of tears, holy shit.
Derek, honey, what do you mean ‘not again’? You’ve never left Cora, unless you count moving to New York with Laura and Cora was in South America! This line would make so much more sense if they’d given us Any idea what happened to Cora after the fire.
Normally, i’d be annoyed that Melissa is just ignoring the laws about paperwork. I’d even be annoyed that she did it for the Sheriff. BUT, Melissa is in the know about the supernatural and she KNOWS that the murders are supernatural. I’m sorry but Supernatural needs trump human laws. Melissa is totally a boss for this.
EYYYY actual druid (specifically magician druids) thing they got right (though i’m not sure it was on purpose). Magician Druids were Very Well Known for their nature magic. For causing storms and droughts and high winds and fog. The building storm around the school is like, Peak magician magic.
God, it really....it really grinds my gears watching Isaac’s progression toward the most abuse he can find. You notice how, in season 2 when Derek was attacking the Betas on the regular and doing awful shit like breaking Isaac’s hands, Isaac was loyal as Fuck to him? (right up until randomly going to Scott to decide whether to leave town) Then, this season, we start off with Derek being pretty fucking gentle, there’s no indication that he’s been continuing the abuse. Isaac questions his command and Derek’s response is ‘do you trust me?’ to which Isaac easily says yes. In fact, Isaac asks Derek to be the one to hurt him for the memory seeking thing, and Derek refuses because he wants to do what’s Safer for Isaac.Then he throws the glass and Isaac bails bc it’s a direct reminder of what his dad did. Only he goes to Scott, who was incredibly violent toward him in the previous season. (And who we know will be violent toward him in the future as well) But the only time he lists away from Scott, is to go after Allison, who Tackled him to the ground and held a knife to his throat, and whose father inherently hates werewolves and is a constant danger to him. Yet he never goes in the direction of people who Haven’t hurt him. He could go to Deaton, who’d taught him the pain-drain thing and was nothing but kind to him in that short time. He could’ve gone to Boyd after Derek’s lashing out, his pack member, who would never hurt him. Hell, he hates Stiles’ guts, but he could still have gone to him. Stiles was the one to help Derek free him from Jail after all, and he’s not wanted anymore so Noah wouldn’t have anything against him. Stiles may have threatened Isaac to keep him from hurting Lydia, but he never personally laid a hand on him. But he went to Scott. Someone who’s beaten him bloody multiple times.
So, really focusing on the details here, but on Julia’s death record, her  ‘jane doe’ occupation is listed as “Child” Oh, and apparently there was Froth present on the body.
Okay, so I think I understand what they’re saying. The reason Julia lived after getting to the hospital was because the birds sacrificed themselves and their life force kept her holding on. Now, either this was a spontaneous thing, and the birds did it For her. Or she Made them, because we know she doesn’t need to Be There to control weird shit. She could’ve set it up before she left the Nemeton or passed out or whatever. My confusion is. If that’s the explanation for the bird suicides, then what the Fuck happened on the first day when all the birds came crashing through the window?? There was no reason for that to happen. She was totally fine! And doing it to frighten people doesn’t make sense because she set off the radars of everything supernatural in town. (And Stiles.)
This kind of mass mind-control is kind of insane and makes the situation with Derek just That much more awful. I am so sickened.
Now, on the subject of the chanting, I assume it’s part of the ritual since it’s present at the deaths so much. The question is, where did Julia Get it? THOUGHTS: This chant isn’t present at any of the virgin kills. It’s not there with Heather, and while we don’t see the boy at the pool’s abduction/death, Emily Also didn’t hear it during her hallucination. What if it’s part of the virgin sacrifice perk? Like, Julia could Only Use it after killing the virgins, because it’s got some kind of mind-control thing about it?
Wh--why didn’t Julia tape her arms down before she woke up? Why make the garrotte before ensuring her victim couldn’t Punch her in the face??
I thought you JUST said she wasn’t going to be a sacrifice?
Still confused. You didn’t sacrifice Lydia, so that doesn’t count as the third philo, but then the teacher who died onstage wasn’t a threefold death, or the hanging thing, they just got their throat cut and they were poisoned. So....what? Was that supposed to count as your sacrifice?
Nobody TOUCHES Noah, who managed to be the only fucking cop on tv i’ve ever seen follow sensible procedure which is to shoot them in the fucking leg when they walk toward you menacingly, rather than threatening to shoot them in the head and doing nothing.
Final Thoughts:
There was a lot in this episode that didn’t make sense. It’s very clearly an amping up for the finale thing, but it’s annoying that after all this time they’ve essentially made the Alpha pack a time waster. The whole thing with getting Derek in the pack is relatively meaningless now that there’s a Darach going after the Alphas. I dunno, feels kinda off.
Anyway, onward.
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unfortunatelyilikebnha · 5 years ago
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Oh boy that post I reblogged about Todoroki and Iida understanding memes & pretending not to got me INSPIRED so here r some Izukrew groupchat/meme headcanons:
Everyone thinks the bakusquad chat is crazy and while they’re right, the izukrew chat is just as wild
They have probably planned acts of vigilanteism in here I mean what?
The chat has definitely made at least 164 different plans to kill End**v*r, just in case. They aren’t gonna actually use them they’re just a precaution & a way to vent (probably. End**v*r better watch what he does tho). Someone in the squad had a bad day? Make a plan to kill End**v*r, you’ll feel better. Todoroki doesn’t always contribute, & they always ask him before they make a new plan to make sure he’s still okay with it, but he appreciates the support & knowing that his friends love him and have his back
[Achey Breaky 🅱️ones]: Hey Todoroki, can we make a plan to kill your dad? [Elsa But Better]: ya sure go wild [Running in the 90s]: Can Uraraka float the bastard into the sun? Discuss. [You’ll Float Too]: ive never tried to make anything go that high but for todoroki definitely!! [Elsa But Better]: ...thank you” [Kermit With A Gun]: (flamingdumpster.jpg) it is He go wild Ochako
Uraraka talks in the chat the most, followed by Todoroki (if sending memes counts as talking), Midoriya, Iida, and finally Tsuyu who lurks a lot but doesn’t respond as often as the others
They have a “days since Midoriya last injured himself” counter that they update daily. The record was 15 days. The average is 3.
They change each other’s nicknames often. They have free reign as long as it’s not too mean, and chat rules say they have to keep whatever their name was changed to for at least a week. Sometimes they match names/ have a theme. Sometimes they bring their name changes over to the main chat too.
There is a designated “Iida Appreciation Day” when the chat is especially nice to and appreciative of Iida that happens in the chat every few weeks because they realize that they as a class are a Lot to deal with & even tho Iida is way more chill in the chat with his close friends than he can be in the main class chat they know he still feels responsible for them & does a lot for them. Iida does not know about Iida Appreciation Day (but when he finds out he is super touched & maybe cries a little bit)
Todoroki is king of the really weird, really abstract memes. The rest of the squad has no idea how he finds them & is kinda too afraid to ask
He also has a reaction image for everything and like,,, he just HAS them he doesn’t look them up, which the rest of the squad realizes cause he replies way too fast to have looked it up on the internet. They are in awe of his power
Besides the izukrew gc, only one person knows that Todoroki memes, and that’s Kaminari, because Todoroki likes to t-pose & do other meme things while Kaminari is looking at him & then as soon as anyone else is about to see what he’s doing he immediately stops. Kaminari is going crazy because nobody will believe him that stoic Todoroki, who has the greatest deadpan expression ever, memes. “Todoroki? Are you sure? Kaminari maybe you’re sick, he doesn’t know memes remember? We yelled ‘this b*tch empty’ in front of him yesterday and he just stared blankly at us.” “BUT MINA I SWEAR I SAW HIM DAB!” Ashido and Sero tried to catch him doing it but gave up after a while, stating that nobody is that good at hiding their meme knowledge. The rest of the izukrew knows obviously but feign confusion because 1) it’s funny and 2) Todoroki is genuinely having fun. When Todoroki eventually reveals to the rest of the class that he can meme, he apologizes for pranking a very vindicated Kaminari.
Iida likes those memes that combine several memes. He sends reaction images that are just memes without text bc he knows his friends will understand exactly what he’s talking about
He’s also king of photoshop & totally uses those skills for evil - he’s rly good at putting Lucky Luciano into pictures, making his friends break into a cold sweat as he sends a picture to the chat that is seemingly the exact same as the one the last person sent. Since they’re so competitive they have an ongoing competition to see who can find him first (Iida keeps the score. Right now Tsuyu is winning, but the ranks change often)
He, like Todoroki, pretends not to know memes, but takes it a little further & pretends not to know teen slang either so he can misuse it in front of people & laugh at his classmates cringing (Iida: Seatbelts are important. As Ashido might say, they are “totes yeet, yo!” Ashido: //crying// IIDA NO! Iida: Does that not mean that it is very important? Ashido: //crying louder// NO!!!). Some classmates attempt to “teach” him but he “just does not get it”. Again the izukrew pretends not to know because it’s funny.
Uraraka is queen of wholesome memes. She has so many “I love my friends” memes & always has cute images ready to send in case anyone is sad or stressed. Everyone in the chat would die for her no questions asked (she will use this to her advantage one day probably).
She also really likes spongebob memes and uses them often. Her favorite is the one where spongebob is wearing those pink frilly glasses
While she is queen of wholesome memes, she’s not afraid to tease anyone & often sends smug/teasing reaction images. Nobody is safe, especially if they tease her first, & if there’s a competition in the chat she goes all in. When she wins anything it’s like “[You’ll Float Too]: (dignitylaugh.gif) whats this? it seems i have won our little competition...” (But then immediately after she sends her first victory message she’s like “lmao jk good game”)
Midoriya sends links to random ass YouTube videos to the chat at 3 am. Sometimes the videos aren’t even memes they’re all might documentaries or something he thought was interesting or thought one of his friends might think was interesting or videos someone made about how they trained their quirk that he thinks might help someone but sometimes they’re completely nonsensical. It’s like a roulette wheel every time someone clicks a link Midoriya sent. Sometimes the chat makes bets about the contents of the video before anyone opens it. Most of the time they’re all wrong.
He doesn’t rlly have a favorite style of meme, but he always has a million specific variations of whatever meme is popular at the time and all past popular memes. His phone camera is like a meme record. He’s rlly good at finding vine comps with good but not rlly well known vines.
He also infodumps in the chat sometimes bc they let him & he is really grateful that his friends are actually interested in what he has to say
Tsuyu sends memes that roast the sh*t out of everyone in the chat. When one of her friends is doing smth stupid she totally calls them out in the form of memes (she’s really good at finding those tiktoks that feel like they are roasting you specifically). She’s a comedic timing genius and knows just when to send things (& because she doesn’t use the chat as much that makes it even funnier). She also is, rather predictably, fond of frog memes
She also loves making those alignment chart type memes (& the ones with like the triangles or the four quadrants) & makes them for/about her friends & classmates often. She is scarily good at reading people and hits the nail on the head 99% of the time. Sometimes she sends them to the main class chat too and the rest of the class is like ?!?!?!?!?!?!
Because she’s a big sister, she often sends reminders to the chat to take care of bthemselves (Iida does this a lot too, but sometimes she has to remind him because he’s so caught up in caring about others he forgets to care about himself. Actually everyone in this chat is guilty of that including Tsuyu smh). Since the others make sure she takes care of herself in return, she’s really grateful for her friends
Bonus hcs:
Aoyama, once he is added to the chat, become the expert at sending selfies of himself looking directly at the camera while a member of the chat is distracted in the background, not seeing him. The chat makes it a game to try and spot Aoyama before he can get a picture, but Aoyama always wins. When asked how he can escape the detection of even those who are always on edge/have been trained to notice every little movement, he just smiles and says “it’s a secret~!”
Shinsou, who eventually replaces M*n*t* in 1A bc this is my city & grape boy is gross, does a thing called “insomniac hours” where he will send a random question to the chat at like 3 am & Midoriya, who is almost always awake then (or sometimes Todoroki Tsuyu or Uraraka if they’re up, and very very occasionally Iida), will give him a super detailed answer. Sometimes during the day the chat plays a version of this where Shinsou asks an obviously nonsensical question and the rest of the chat has to come up with long, nonsensical answers & then votes on the best ones. Many inside jokes were borne from this game.
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irkenheretic · 4 years ago
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okay i promised id do it and im doing it: Explaining The Plot Of That AU I’m Vague About: The Post
(as i was preparing to write this i actually got my 250th follower, which slapped)
so i’m just gonna start with the simple version, which is this: it’s a rebel AU which primarily centers around the tallest, who are both defective. they give up on trying to make any meaningful changes as figureheads, and instead direct their attention to being involved with the “neo defect revolution,” or NDR. they do manage to make one change as tallest- there is a garbage dump planet turned into a sanctuary for defectives (who in this au are executed once discovered,) and eventually enough of the populace finds out about it that the tallest have to deal with it. they finesse their way into kicking it out of the empire, so now it’s its own planet with its own rules, governments, and most importantly, immigration policies and protections
a lot of stuff happens and it’s gonna be structured using arcs, and each arc has a separate protagonist/deuteragonist/tritagonist lineup (but that doesnt mean the same lineup won’t be used multiple times!) and yes the insane list of OCs are for this au alone: some arcs are very OC-centric, some have OCs as supporting characters, and a couple are all-OC or mostly-OC. 
its going to be very longform and it’ll span from the tallest’s elite training days to twenty years after zim arrives on earth. (the 20 year gap btwn zim arriving on earth and the story proper isnt as tightly plotted as later tho.) the point is to see how a revolution on the scale of the NDR works, who was fucked over by defact laws, who was fucked over by other laws, etc. theres a lot of lore and a lot of headcanons i made for this AU and even a conlang. i am a being of hubris. itll be a series of fics, some multichapter and some oneshots. 
the series as a whole is gonna be called Invader Zim: Annexed or just Annexed for short. its a pun on an irken word that sounds similar but means the exact opposite. i am not explaining more bc itll be explained in the fic itself. but thats why the tag for it is #anx lmao
i didnt mean for this to be as long as it got but under the cut im gonna breakdown some of the early arcs:
so it all starts with a fanfic called Love Is The H-Word (no the “h-word” isn’t “hell.) it centers around red and purple as elites-in-training, who do a little whoopsie and have an egg. purple doesnt wanna smuggle it into a smeetery, bc then he’ll never see it again, so they go to the defect sanctuary (still a part of the empire at this point.) purple knows he’s defective while red has a hard time accepting that he is as well, due to events from his past. but being around all these other defects are starting to wear down his denial, and the fic is all about that. it also sets up some plot stuff, like how defects adopted a self-identifier in the word “heretic,” hence the sanctuary being named, “heretirk.” (hey look my url!) (no, the “h-word” is not heretic, either.) 
i dont wanna say what happens in that fic bc spoilers, but stuff Happens. its also when we meet some ocs that end up being important, and the existence of others are foreshadowed. this is also where we meet the tallests’ future advisor, rarl kove, for the first time, as a local who decides to keep them company. purple bonds with kove due to their shared interest in politics, while red reluctantly bonds with titch, a young irken (a smeet in heretirken standards, an adult in imperial standards- did i mention he and red are roughly the same age? lol) who is interested in military stuff and thrill-seeking and general destruction. titch is pissed because he claims his father is stealthing on devastis as a military commander, but won’t let titch sneak in as a soldier, as titch is deaf. 
(fun facts: in the au, “titch” is regional slang for “a little bit.” ironically, titch the character is above-average in height.)
due to titch’s deafness, he developed “gesturespeak,” irken sign language, so he can communicate. this existing becomes important later
a oneshot called invade the system is right after h-word in publishing order. it details zim’s exploits in leaving foodcourtia, where he was assigned and infiltrating the invading academy he eventually graduates from (in this au, zim is too short to be an invader, which sucks because the hight minimums for the military are really short to begin with lmao)
the fic chronoligically after H-Word focuses on red and purple being back in their platoon on devastis, specifically red navigating his training and his relationships with two defective platoonmates, pon and zi (who are in h-word a little,) after the realization that he too is defective. it also focuses on how the irken military works, and how they train their soldiers. 
the first arc overall focuses on red and purple going thru training and such, and ends after they graduate and are on the field, working to get commander rank. (they planned to gain commander rank then leave and go back to heretirk to train an army there, as heretirk has.... no army.) in the middle of this, they’re pulled out and told they are to become the next tallest. they debate over staying and taking the job or just running to heretirk, and they ultimately decide to stay.
the next arc i call the “bridge,” tbh. its less tightly plotted than the other arcs; fics are spread apart from each other chronologically and all that. it spans the time after the tallest being appointed to a little after zim arrives on earth. it also has a couple of anthologies focusing on imperial defects- each chapter is a new character. these guys are all important and the easiest way for me to introduce their backstories without cluttering everything up is anthology style, lmao. other things that happen are a look into how the tallest work, eventually culminating with the resolution of the tallest having to Deal With Heretirk, tenn’s rescue from meekrob, and zim on earth obtaining a half-irken smeet named pip due to stealing an Unethical Science Experiment from dib (which is pip.) the bridge is basically just. “heres some stuff that happens between point A and point B so when we get to point B you’re not confused as all hell.” 
the next arc focuses on zim. in the first fic, pip is sick and zim is trying to get into his neighbor’s pants, to cope. this basically sets up that zim in this au has no idea how to find personal fulfillment in living- he’s only OK if he focuses on pleasing someone else, be it taking care of pip or doting on the neighbor, some rando human named piqu (pronounced, “peek.”) this is mainly a cute romance story with the underlying veneer of “a child is slowly and painfully dying” in the background. fun! 
without spoiling the circumstances, zim and pip end up on heretirk, which at this point is its own independent planet. pip is in the hospital for most of it so zim has to do his own thing. computer fans rejoice bc hes basically zims dad at this point, who tells him to go outside and get some fresh air and talk to the locals instead of schmooping or screaming in anxiety. im sneakily introducing more characters like ini, the “next-gen zim;” a short bio-engineer (she works on PAKs) who was constantly passed over by everyone because they dont trust someone that short or they dont trust someone that spazzy, even though shes actually brilliant. also her brother mo, who’s a pilot that NOBODY will teach military-class ships to (at this point, HTK has a population of ex-military that had their old ships, but still no formal army) because he doesnt talk and they think hes “slow” as a result. for the curious, he is physically able to talk most times, he just doesnt like it. zim ends up teaching him how to fly military-class which ends up being important laterrr
(haha ini and mo. wheres meenie and minie? ILL GET TO THEM)
no really, theyre quadruplets. named ini, myni, minie, and mo. these are real characters. 
minie isnt introduced till later. shes too cool to be the side character in someone elses arc. she is feel uncomfortable when we are not about her.
myni is busy palling around with pip and pip’s friend “elly” (real name elevenn, with two N’s.) elly is a half-meekrob War Crime Baby and tenn’s smeet. he has vision problems (he can “see” energy signatures of things, as opposed to conventional sight. everything is monochrome and he has to really focus to see like, words on a paper. also fuck tablets) but the trade-up is telekinetic powers (that he cant use too much or his brain will melt. fun!) this isnt relevant until the arc AFTER zim’s, where they end up poking around a historical site due to myni’s interest in that kind of thing, and they find logs of an old revolution (that was actually pretty successful in their goal, before they were caught and executed,) that lead them to a man named lefy. he helps with revolutions and helped these guys, and the trio go to seek him out; myni because he wants to impress his parents with helping them, pip because after they’ve recovered enough to walk around and do stuff, feel like they need to justify the choice to save their life and make their dad proud and all that, elly because he doesnt want pip to get hurt and die. And thats where the stuff REALLY starts happening and i cant tell u more sorry
this seemed kind of disjointed but thats bc i cant really be too detailed otherwise id like.... spoil it lmfao. but thats the summary of the first few arcs.
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in-tua-deep · 5 years ago
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First time anon wanted to say I love all of your tua au’s. They are absolutely fantastic and I am soft for all of them. However I did amuse myself with the barking mad au, noticed you never write about Pogo in your au’s (do you not like him btw? No pressure on it just curious), but I just like the thought of him meeting/talking to partially feral!Five and he can’t quite figure out which language (animal or english) is more appropriate to say ‘master five what the ever living F****?!’ in.
!! hello first time anon! thank u for messaging
asdfHJGFSDG you caught me,, i don’t like Pogo and don’t think he should have a place in the children’s lives so I never write him into any of my aus because I lowkey want him to disappear
mainly because Pogo was complicit in their abuse to the point where even after Reginald was dead he was still keeping secrets - like he was complicit in drugging a child almost her entire life and emotionally abusing her by backing up the “You’re ordinary” narrative Reginald built up
and even after his death, Pogo stood up and said their dad left behind a complicated memory but then proceeded to compliment the man because presumably Pogo owed so much to him etc. etc. 
Grace I can excuse, because she’s a robot. She functionally had no free will since Reginald was fully capable of tinkering with her programming and forcing her to obey and keep quiet, but Pogo was an adult sentient being capable of free will and he still looked the other way. 
Yeah okay you could say maybe he did it because he was afraid that if he turned against Reginald, he wouldn’t have anywhere to go. You could say he didn’t know how to help beyond attempting to be there for the kids and turning a blind eye to some of their shenanigans (like going out to Griddy’s). BUT. After Reginald’s death he continued to keep the kids in the dark about their dad’s plan, withheld information, and made no move to correct anything. Like i’m pretty sure if he told Klaus “the box contained your father’s journal recording your sister’s power, no not allison, actually your dad drugged her all her life and I’d like to set the record straight on her being ‘ordinary’” klaus would have tried a hell of a lot harder to get it back
Grace, after Reginald’s death, was glitched out of her mind tbh but once fixed she made it clear that she did not support Reginald. After all, telling ur son that you’d like to go out when you were never permitted and then telling him that his dad isn’t around anymore to give orders is a pretty cool moment if I do say so myself
and in the day that wasn’t, Grace was going to tell all the secrets she’d been forced to keep over the years in the park as well. She tried to put it right pretty much as soon as she was capable
Pogo didn’t. He purposefully made efforts to continue Reginald’s plan, up to and including attempting to frame Grace for Reginald’s suicide, not telling Vanya about her powers, not telling anyone about that whole skeezy business, fixing Grace but then reminding her to keep secrets (which she rejects), and just generally. continued supporting a man we know to be an abusive piece of shit idk
so yEAH I don’t like Pogo and consider him to be an accomplice to Reginald’s abuse where I don’t hold Grace accountable because there’s free will involved and while he might have advocated for the children, I doubt he ever pressed if Reginald put his foot down which is why i never include him in anything lmao
as far as i’m concerned in all my aus he’s off chilling at one of Reggie’s other properties or something because Vanya doesn’t want him around (and for good reason) so he can live his days in retirement,,, anywhere else
as for the barking mad au, getting back to ur original ask, I think Pogo is?? Too human-ized? I doubt he’s been a proper chimpanzee for many years, a minimum of like. actually when was he introduced to the household? Was it before the kids were there? Average lifespan of a chimp is what, forty years? And he looked older with his cane and stuff so. Probably? 
But regardless I doubt he can understand anything Five is ‘saying’ with body language beyond what humans can read, mainly because dogs/cats and chimps are different (though Five also knows some sick birdcalls and can mimic alarm calls and ‘hello!’ and other cool thing) and feral!Five lived with only cats and dogs during the apocalypse. It’s a little like dumping a dog in with a colony of chimps - confusion on all sides rip so while Pogo probably would be like “Master Five what the Fuck” it’s more because Five is behaving like,, well,, an animal. Which all of the siblings are also thinking tbh
dog people or cat people would probably be able to pick up things here and there though. like that specific meow cats do when they Hunger, or the wiggling that says ‘happy and probably overstimulated’, and growls/hisses/showing teeth should be self explanatory tbh but like, there’s other things. Like quietly mirroring to hang out, slow blinks as affection, the way dogs will playfully run up and then run away in an almost crab scuttle to see if you’ll follow to play (with bonus jumping powers!), the either cowering down with metaphorical tail between legs or PUFFING UP to be the BIGGEST when threatened, whines that mean ‘hurry up!! come on!’ when someone is going too slow, the running ahead and running back to check and running ahead again
like look i have a pretty quiet dog all things considered, and i had an even quieter dog before they. She only really barks when people come up to the door tbh, but I Know People who own dogs like huskies who are the most vocal little shits in existence and who WILL scream when inconvenienced or nervous
(my sister, a vet student interning at a vets, has regaled me with tales of huskies brought to the clinic who just screamed like they were being murdered the entire time despite them not even being examined or anything. they were literally just chilling in the kennel.)
Feral!Five is actually more vocal than ur regularly scheduled Five but everyone wishes he Wasn’t (he’s also way less standoffish and very likely to just full body rub himself against his siblings or drape himself across them tbh bc like. if they wanted him to quit all they’d have to do is give a warning snap or growl or grumble and they don’t sO)
BUT HEY if u want to write something for the au then feel free to include Pogo and your idea because it is very cute!! I just don’t like Pogo and refuse to include him in things lmao
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hholyholland · 6 years ago
Text
Protected | Harrison Osterfield
requested by @summernykole
"Hi! I don't know if you have like a specific list of things you like people to request or not, but I was wondering if you could write one where the reader is dating Haz, and they all (Haz, Tom, Sam, Harry) go with you to see your family and just hang out and the reader runs into her emotionally abusive ex boyfriend and when she says his name they all get protective because she's told them about him? Sorry if this is confusing, your writing is awesome. Okay, bye 0.0"
word count: 1.5k
warnings: cussing, mentions of abuse, fluff?
note: I really hope you like it, I don't like the ending bc I didn't know how to end it, but enjoy :)
REQUESTS: OPEN
It wasn't supposed to be a group visit but, somehow the Holland boys heard that you and Harrison were gonna take a trip to your family's home in Kingston, so they decided to tag along. Last minute.
“Haz can you get that?” You called out to your boyfriend as you tied your laces together. He responded with a, 'mhm’ and went to the door.
When he opened it, he was surprised to see Tom, Sam and Harry standing there with suitcases at their sides.
“Uhh, what're you guys doing here?” Harrison asked the boys who had wide smiles across their faces.
“We heard that you and Y/N were going to Kingston and we wanted to come so here we are!” Harry walked in first, the other two boys following.
“Harrison who was at the- oh.” You stopped when you saw three boys sat on your couch, suitcases next to one another. “Please don't tell me you guys are coming with.”
“They're coming Y/N.” Harrison sighed, you sighed as well.
“How'd you guys even find out we were going? Do you even have train tickets?”
“Harrison was talking about it, and yes we bought tickets. Like, yesterday.” Tom spoke, you looked at him and rolled your eyes.
“Well then someone order the Uber, cause we gotta go.” You turned around and walked to your room, grabbing your suitcase along with Haz's.
The train ride wasn't too long, the three Holland boys fell asleep on the train, you and Harrison just watched videos on YouTube.
Soon the train stopped and you woke the boys up, Harrison taking the bags. The five of you got off the train and you ordered an Uber, since your parents car wouldn't be able to fit all of you.
You leaned into your boyfriend, wrapping your arms around him as you waited in the cold weather.
“I'm tired.” You mumbled closing your eyes, Harrison rubbed a hand up and down your back telling you the two of you can take a nap once home.
“So I'm guessing that you divs didn't book a hotel and you'll be staying in my house.” The three of them nodded, “You're lucky we have spare rooms.”
Your Uber arrived and the bags were placed in the back, Tom sat in the front, Sam and Harry all the way in the back, then you and Haz.
The ride wasn't long which you were grateful for, you just wanted to get home.
Your parents home came into view and you smiled, buzzing to get out of the car. As soon as the vehicle stopped, you thanked the driver and hopped out of the car.
Your parents stood there in the front yard with open arms and you ran into them, you hadn't seen them for six months, your schedule had been so hectic.
“I missed you guys.” You sighed hugging both of them at once, “And I hope you guys don't mind that the boys came along.”
“Of course not Y/N.” Your mother smiled turning her attention to the four boys making their way towards you and your parents.
Your parents greeted everyone and congratulated Tom for finishing Spider-Man: Far From Home, and Harrison for his role in Vent.
It was only 11 am, so you still had a full day ahead of you, but you were tired and just wanted to take that nap Harrison talked about.
“Don't do anything up there you hear?” Your dad joked as you made your way up the stairs.
“Dad!”
You showed the boys their rooms before disappearing into yours with Harrison.
You had been enjoying your time with your parents and the boys, at first you were a bit annoyed that they tagged along last minute, but now you were glad they did.
You were all sat in your living room watching Mamma Mia, you had seen it twice already with Harrison. Your mother had provided the group with drinks and snacks, she kept offering things and you all had to tell her to just sit down and watch the movie.
“For dinner why don't we go to TGIF's?” You dad suggested as the movie ended, you looked at the time and it was ten past five.
“But it's Tuesday.” Sam joked, Harry hit him in the shoulder for his awful joke causing Sam to hit his brother back.
“Yeah sure.” Harrison nodded, you nodded as well and got up to go get ready.
“Right, everyone try to be ready by 5:40 please!” Your mother called out as everyone retreated to their rooms.
You touched up your makeup and straightened your hair, Harrison just fixed his hair and got dressed into nicer clothes. He filmed you getting ready and you looked at him from the mirror smiling and telling him to stop, which he did.
You got dressed, not caring if Harrison was watching since he's seen it all before. You threw on your 'poopy’ jacket on and turned around to be met with Harrison, “you look beautiful love.”
You smiled and looked up at the blue eyed boy, you grabbed his jaw and kissed him, his hands immediately flew to your hips.
“Okay love birds let's go!” Harry hit your door and the two of you pulled away, you rolled your eyes and grabbed your things before heading down stairs.
An Uber had already been called for you guys since you wouldn't fit in your parents car.
“We'll meet you there.” You told your parents before heading out the door and into your Uber with the boys, your parents taking the car.
You all got to the restaurant quickly, beating your parents there so you just got a table ready sending your parents a text that you got a table.
Your parents soon arrived and sat down across from you and your boyfriend, you guys ordered drinks, appetizers, food, and dessert cause why not?
You all split the check, the twins paying the smallest amount for obvious reasons.
Your parents decided to go home, but the rest of you decided to to the shopping centre that also had a theatre. Once again, an Uber was called and you made your way to centre.
You guys walked around for a bit, the centre was lit up with fairy lights and decor for the holidays. A couple shops were open, but some were starting to close for the night.
“What movie are we gonna watch?” Sam asked walking backwards to look at the group.
“We'll decide when we get there, cause I have no idea what's in right now.” Harrison told him and he nodded walking the right way.
You were all approaching the cinema when you heard a voice call out your name, you turned around and instantly froze up, your chest tightened and you felt sick to your stomach.
You reached back to grab Harrison and stepped back into him, everyone stopped confused as to who this man was approaching.
Before you can say anything to Harrison, your abusive ex boyfriend was standing in front of you.
It was never physical but the things he said to you destroyed your self confidence, he taunted you, always called you names, whenever you were ready to go out he would make you feel like shit, he messed with your head. It was verbal abuse.
“Y/N hey.” He seemed so casual, as if you two were friends, but you were far from that. You backed into Harrison more, squeezing his hand.
“What are you not gonna say hi back? That's a bit rude.”
You harshly swallowed before speaking up, “Alec, what're you doing here?”
As the name fell from your lips, Harrison and the boys immediately stepped forward.
“Mate, I would suggest that you walk away right now.” Harrison spoke, you stepped back a bit not wanting to be around him.
“And who the hell are you?” Alec looked at Haz, you tugged on his arm trying to get him to just walk away.
“Haz please, let's just go.”
“That's someone that truly cares about Y/N, and would never hurt her.” Tom spoke up, your ex scoffed.
“I cared about her-”
“No you didn't! You verbally abused her, and if you think that's caring for someone then that's fucked mate.” Harry practically yelled.
“Okay” was all he said.
Harrison turned around to look at you, your eyes were glossy and you were scared. You hadn't seen him for years, and here he was, it was so hard for you to leave him, and when you did it was hard to trust people.
Harrison grabbed you and pulled you into his chest, walking away from everyone.
“You had some nerve to come up to her.” Sam spat before walking away with his brothers.
Your head was hidden in Harrison's chest, he ran a hand through your hair knowing it calms you down, he rocked you side to side, whispering things into your ear to make you feel better.
“I love you Y/N.” Haz whispered into your hair, you sniffled mumbling an 'I love you too’ to your boyfriend.
You guys headed home and your parents were confused when they saw you guys back home so early, but instead of telling them anything you ran up the stairs and into your room. Tom would tell them what happened.
Haz followed in behind you and shut the door, watching you as you took off your shoes and jacket, then seating yourself at the vanity.
You took off your makeup and looked at Harrison who looked at you with those pretty blue eyes.
“Thank you Haz.”
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lookwhatilost · 5 years ago
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if i had to tell u one thing abt how my parents see me that rly Says As Much As It Needs To, they tell me constantly that they planned me down to the month i was born
24 seems like an old age to be stuck on rebellion against one’s parents. and it absolutely is. i should have gotten it out of my system a long time ago, but circumstance never really allowed. everything had to be planned. they had their plans for me, very strict ones, and if i were to say “no”, then i’d best be equipped w an alternative one. there’s no room for indecision, or confusion. life is not a predictable thing, and i’m not always a predictable person, but if you want to please them, these are things you have to pretend not to be aware of. there’s no room for exploration, or actually taking time to think. you have to constantly be moving from one goal post to the next. that’s how this is. you always have to have an answer to the question “what will you do?”
there isn’t a “now” with people like them. only a “next”
they bought me merch shit from lehigh university from the time i was 5 or 6 years old. there are pics of me in the family photo album of me in my first grade cheerleading garb, and in one of them, i’m wearing a pint-sized lehigh sweatshirt over my actual uniform. when i got a little older, like end of middle school, i told them i wanted to go to college in boston and they both replied w a confused “i thought you wanted to go to lehigh” kinda response. but i remember thinking back then, yknow, i never could recall expressing any organic interest in that. jst sort of resigning to it. “okay, i guess that’s what i’m supposed to do”
they wanted me to be a chemical engineer. isn’t that hilarious?
to bulk up my college application, they railroaded me into a bunch of extracurriculars that i didn’t wanna participate in. forced to swim competitively since i was 8, i had grown so weary of it by the time i’d reached high school. i told them i was tired, that i didn’t want to do it anymore. they said “well if you’re not going to swim, then what are you going to do?” and i didn’t have an answer, but they wouldn’t accept “nothing” as an answer. so i kept doing it even though i didn’t want to. disobedience to them could be met w violence and it wasn’t frequent, but frequent enough that i was always worrying abt it. so i did what they said even if it was making me unhappy
my grades suffered progressively each time we’d move, and when bullying rly ratcheted up in middle school, it sort of bled into this lifelong pattern of personal distress rendering me completely non-functional. i was always a good test taker, but it was hard for me to do any classwork outside of that, bc all i was capable of focusing on was how depressed and lonely i felt. i’d go to my sports practices after school, and come home jst. completely burnt out. rinse and repeat
joke’s on them when i dropped out of high school, i guess. that beefy college application was never sent out to any actual colleges. “well if you’re not going to finish high school, then what are you going to do?” and i didn’t have an answer, but they wouldn’t accept “nothing” as an answer, so i got my equivalency and enrolled in community college. but i was still in the same predicament from personal stress being entirely consuming. i had a rly toxic dynamic w my ex boyfriend (and some of the people who have been following me for a rly long time may remember when i was in the thick of this) who was constantly tasking me w cleaning up the messes he got into through his addiction and general irresponsibility. and then he would dump me for the umpteenth time. or cheat on me. or do something else stupid, and i tolerated it bc he was half of my support system and i couldn’t lose that. it got so stressful and i ended up attempting to k*ll m*self several times, and had to withdraw from school bc i’d missed so much when i was in residential psychiatric treatment
“well if you’re not going to community college, then what are you going to do?” and i didn’t have an answer, but they wouldn’t accept “nothing” as an answer. so i went to cosmetology school and sunk 5 years of my life into an atrocious and thankless industry. i guess i have to hand it to myself. i’ve never stuck w anything for so long, but i never rly cared for any of it. it was easy. and a lot of people in it are really stupid, and it’s easy to excel above people like that. but i never liked it that much. i guess it’s unfair to say i never had my moments. i did have my moments where i was optimistic, where i thought my skill would carry me. i soared above my classmates and had high expectations for myself for a while... until i realized that i wasn’t rly the kind of person who succeeds in this industry. the kind of person who makes any money here is the kind of person who’s complacent enough never to question it. can i really recommend things to people in good faith when i’m aware of the ridiculous markup? can i really insist that what we’re selling is so much better than what they’re getting in the drugstore when i know you’d need a comprehensive education in biochemistry to understand a bottle of shampoo, when i know that almost every beauty school is incidentally owned by one of the companies that manufacture these professional products? can i ever feel okay about plying into people’s insecurities to upsell a ticket? can i ever reconcile that it all, at its core, goes against my ethics?
and i dnt think i can. my roommate and i were looking into moving out of state, but when he pulled back, i still wanted to follow through on the decision. but transferring my cosmetology license would have been very labor-intensive and expensive for something i was already disenchanted with. i thought about other reasons to legitimize the move, and i figured since i was on a cooking kick, maybe it’d be worth monetizing. i am very good at it. when you have a restrictive ED, and dnt want to eat processed diet food shit all day, it teaches you a lot about how to season and prepare things effectively. a lot about portioning, about measurement, about precision, about control. i have it mastered down to an art. i only wanted to look at schools in the specific place i wanted to move, and i only wanted to do a certificate program. when i mistakenly involved my parents in the decision making process, they scheduled me a tour at a more collegiate-minded school in an entirely different state bc it was “the best one” and coaxed me into applying. i did. i realized i’d made a huge mistake, that i was going down the same path that me so unhappy in a trade before. if i go about this from a “nothing” job, if i realize it’s not an environment i wanna be in... it’s not as much of a loss of time, money, expectantions. i told them. they were angry.
i sat down w my dad a few days ago. i explained to him how i felt. he tried to convince me to hold onto it, to try it, “jst one semester, it can’t hurt”. unwilling to see where i was coming from. unwilling to budge. and then he said it, that one thing, that i’m so fucking sick of hearing
“well, if you’re not going to go to culinary school, then what are you going to do?”
and i didn’t have an answer, but he wouldn’t accept “nothing” as an answer
so i said “nothing”
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early-sxnsets · 6 years ago
Text
tag game(s)
anï (i’m too exhausted to do three separate posts but i was tagged in three tag games over the past few days and i’d forgotten to do the last few games i was tagged in and i feel super guilty so here they are in one go)
i don’t know who to tag to do these rn because my brain is dead i am emotionally exhausted and i’m writing a fic that’s about halfway done so i’m gonna say tag anyone who wants to be tagged for any of these. i’m so sorry that i’m dead, i will be back alive again after may 10th, which is my AP exam day
six questions challenge
tagged by @simon--speaks
rules: answer the questions, then tag 9 people you want to get to know better!
Q1: Relationship status?
single bby
Q2: Favorite color?
maroon !
Q3: Top 3 ships?
snowbaz (wow) and uh. wow. idk who else. i wanna say my own ocs matchstick and summer (is that allowed? i’m making it allowed)
Q4: Lipstick or chapstick?
whenever i get to this question in any ask i freeze up because i use a tinted chapstick so i don’t look dead but like. it can also be seen as a lipstick because it has pigment. but. chapstick.
Q5: Last song I listened to?
Run by Hozier
Q6: Last movie I watched?
uhhh i watched like. 5 minutes of the emperor’s new groove a few days ago, and watched a documentary about obscure houses like 10 minutes before that. so. i’m gonna say the house documentary.
21 questions
i was tagged by @simon--speaks, @angelsfalling16, @wo2ash, @alixanderthequeer, @sharkmartini and @bazypitchandsimonsnow
rules: answer 21 questions then tag 21 people
nickname: anï, munchkin, menina, and my hebrew name is elisheva
height: the doctor says i’m 5′3.5″, but they can’t put fractions on IDs so according to the state i’m 5′4″ and i cling to that
last movie i saw: see above (so like. funky houses)
last thing i googled: (next town over) movie tavern. i’m not saying where it is exactly bc hah i don’t wanna be stalked but. i was looking at movie times because they have $5 movies every tuesday
favorite musician: frank iero. love that funky rat man and his funky music too (i’m gonna see him for the second time next month because i made the executive adult decision to say fuck it to my seizures and go see him anyway)
song stuck in my head: i don’t have one rn but usually it’s a song by the killers (when you were young is a usual one)
other blogs: none, actually! i didn’t delete my old tumblr purely bc i’m a nostalgic dumbass, but it’s a completely different login and it’s inactive so i don’t count it.
followers: 1,666 (originally i wasn’t gonna share the number but it hit this last night and i was like heh. nice)
following: 231
amount of sleep: 8ish hours! (spring break bby)
lucky numbers: 7, multiples of 3 (only in cases of knocking), and multiples of 2 (only in cases like volume)
dream job: writing and illustrating books! i have a variety of dream jobs within art, and even within the subcategory of books, but my top dream job is creating inclusive/diverse children’s books that represent a variety different ethnicities/races, religions, abilities, and identities so that children can see themselves represented in media
what i’m wearing: a black turtleneck, a bra, and marvel boxers. that’s it.
favorite food: soup in general. i make a kick ass matzo ball soup
language: english, conversational portuguese, i know a small small bit of japanese (i should know more given i was raised being taught it but i always struggled with it), and i know some spanish. i also plan on teaching myself ASL.
can i play an instrument: yes! i’ve been playing violin since i was 2. i wanna play guitar and i know some chords but i have small hands so it’s hard to find one that’s the right size that isn’t a shitty children’s guitar, and i sing! i’m an alto
favorite song: hnnghg please don’t make me pick................ i’d have to say choke on one another by death spells
random fact: so like. if you didn’t know already, i’m an LGBTQ+ youth activist on a national scale. i disappear on occasion because i’m doing something or another, and sometimes i post about it on my blog (speaking of i have exciting news that i heard, but at the same time, i’m pretty much booked every weekend from middle of next month until middle of july), but........ i hate networking. i loathe it. if i never had to network again, i’d be thrilled. networking is my absolute least favorite thing because i struggle at everyday conversation, much less networking with people at least 10-20 years my senior. sure it’s usually free publicity and i get great connections, but god. at what cost? and like.... it’s always after a really emotionally taxing event, so i’m already drained and then wow here’s a room full of adults who want my 18 year old input. please. just let me steal a cupcake then leave.
describe yourself in aesthetic things: dye stained fingernails and necks. cranked open windows during a spring shower. dried tears and breaking laughs. coffee stains and milky tea splashes. trembling fingers, writing instead of speaking because you’re too afraid, and finally breaking free--running through the rain. scabbing blood, fresh piercings. knowing you’re loved and not saying it because it doesn’t need to be spoken. the smell of a new canvas, paint splattered jeans, and art school sweaters. black skirts with docs, then fairy lights and soft blankets hidden behind sharp profanities and harsh disgust. the unexpected. the unknown. the ever-changing, unstoppable force of the shifting tides. 
carry on questions
tagged by @goodbyedandelion, @isthisisagoodkiss @wo2ash, 
1- favorite type of scone? 
cranberry orange! one of the farms a county over has a market and they sell them there and they’re to die for (altho, i found a sour cherry scone recipe that i’ve perfected and my family loves them so they’re a close second now)
2- london or la?
i’ve never been to london, but i’m gonna have to go with london. i went to la last october to present in an awards show for my organization and i lowkey was underwhelmed. i’m very much a gloom and rain kinda person, and it was too dry and sunny there. although, i did think the huge succulents were sick as fuck. but yeah definitely london. i’m planning to spend a semester abroad there in a few years for an illustration program
3- kissing in a forest or holding hands under the stars?
i’m afraid of forests because we have a lot of wildlife and i don’t want to get mauled by a bear don’t mind me holding hands under the stars :)
4- jeans or suit?
suit suit suIT SUIT suit. i love wearing suits. my chest doesn’t cooperate and my hips always hate them but god i do love suits.
5- loose hair or pulled back hair?
mine looks better loose, and my sides/back are shaved but the top reaches my ears, so it gets annoying sometimes and i pull it up to keep it out of my face
6- vampires or dragons?
i wanna say both. i used to say “yknow a dragon but in human form would be hot” then i got called dragon fucker for like two years so out of pure spite i’m going with vampires.
7- what saying do you wish could be a spell?
(this one’s a very specific reference so hear me out) “i’ve got to go pee on her”  used to disorient and confuse the speech of the person casted upon. it’s one of my favorite quotes from scott pilgrim vs. the world (my favorite movie ngl) when scott’s brain can’t figure out two different sentences and he just says that. it’s so good and just fuckin weird that i love it.
8- which carry on character would you go on a coffee date with if you could?
depends tbh! if we’re talking date date, then penny because i would wife penny in 0.5 seconds, but if we’re talking friends getting coffee then 10000000% baz because i’d talk activism and identities with him
9- favorite carry on quote?
“he told me we would be stars” (i don’t have my book on me so i could be getting the line wrong), but it hit so hard for me. like it’s clear how davy manipulated lucy so much that she fell into it and couldn’t crawl out. it’s such a powerful message of control from those who are charismatic enough to hold it, and how sometimes we aren’t weak enough to let go.
10- how excited are you for wayward son?
lemme paint this picture: i started hyperventilating in the hallway when i found out, and then cried an hour or two later when my friend texted me that he preordered me a signed copy. like. i’ve been pre-planning how to get home from college to come and pick it up (okok the 24th is also my dad’s birthday so i’m. um. “coming home to visit him”, of course) because i’m just SO EXCITED to read them again in a canon way :’)
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majorxmaggiexboy · 6 years ago
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i recently remembered a film my brother and i watched several times as children, and that got me thinking about the other stuff we would watch. most of which seems kind of weird on reflection. we don’t actually have any of these anymore, so just for funsicles i’m trying to think of the films and see if i can remember any of the details before actually googling them.
     Live Action
Two Brothers - a couple of tiger cubs are captured by poachers or something and separated from each other. one is trained to perform in the circus and is also fed candy by some guy, the circusmaster is an absolute [censored]. the tiger learns to jump through fire which is important later. the other cub is given to a little boy (TERRIBLE IDEA) and is a pet for a while until he’s sold to someone else. the tigers are eventually reunited but then they’re chased by people with guns who try to trap them by setting things on fire BUT because the first tiger learned not to be scared of fire he shows his brother how to jump through it and they escape and are reunited with this other tiger that has a hole in her ear from a really close call with poachers. i think she’s their mom.
Gunther and the Paper Brigade - idk if it was knock-off Newsies or what but like there’s this kid named Gunther whose brother keeps an ant farm and said the line “did you know that all the ants in the world would weigh as much as all the people in the world?” and i think they’d just moved to a new house but Gunther joins some kind of newspaper group and at first he is AWFUL at delivering papers like he just slings em any ol’ place but then he gets into a sort of war with a bully and i think somebody orally siphoned some gasoline at one point and the brother’s ants definitely came into play and in the end Gunther was really good at delivering papers. He rode a bike. at one point he’s hanging out at the mall pretty often for some reason and his brother teases him about it.
Ben Wagner - Uhhh family moves to new town, kid has an older sister and a younger sister, there’s a freaky adult at the school who said the line “Wagner. Waaaagner. I’ve got it. The name is now set. in my. brain....,,..”  Benny’s miserable for some reason but he meets a kind of mysterious girl who takes him to visit her elderly relative but to get there they have to walk across a log that’s across a river/waterfall type of situation. the elderly relative says something to the effect that if they all stand on one side of the house it’ll tip over. Ben regularly visits these people. His dad gives him some chores but he half-arses all of them and the dad walks him around to each thing (like the car that was supposed to be washed, the garage that was supposed to be tidied, w/e) and goes “you did a lousy job”. The older sister wants money for something but hasn’t saved up her allowance so she demands money from Ben and says the line “I bet you have tons of money squirreled away”. He goes to visit the mysterious girl and her relative but his little sister follows him and falls off the log bridge so he jumps in the water to save her and he manages it but then they’re both in the hospital.
No More Baths - Guy runs a club for kids and has some rules in place specifically to keep the kids safe but one kid breaks the rules and winds up getting himself hurt so the guy who just wanted to do nice things for the community kids gets straight up ARRESTED and his dog is put in the pound and the whole thing was some racially-motivated bull and the kids aren’t having it so they protest by refusing to bathe and i think they get to testify at the guy’s hearing too and anyway he wins so then the kids go play in some water bc they haven’t washed in weeks.
Goosebumps: Night in Terror Tower: Some dude is a little too enthusiastic about explaining to two children how the Rack works “It stretched, annnd streeettched, unTIL HIS BOOOOOOOOONES, WERE PUUULLLLLLLLED...poP. Right Out Of Their Sockets. :) “ and then those kids get chased around by some dude who wants to kill them or something. they try to buy a bus pass but they have medieval currency and the girl’s like “Our parents wouldn’t give us play money” but then they wind up in like actual medieval England. I think the girl’s name was Sidney.
Bunch of Assorted Wildlife Documentaries: idk there was a thing about an elephant painting and a lot to do with dolphins idk i think there was a bit of Steve Irwin in there too
     Cartoons
The Gallivants - like Divergent but with very Orange ants who are assigned a career? or pick out a career? but when they reach adulthood they’re all supposed to develop something called a “kabump” which is like an extra segment for their creepy insect bodies. They wear shoes and their limbs can have either pink stripes or blue stripes. they might wear gloves? anyway the protagonist is named something like “Shando” and he doesn’t develop his “kabump” on time so it’s scandalous. His friends desert him or something.  I think he wanted to be a musician and so makes himself a fake kabump but he plays the saxophone a little too vigorously or something and makes it come off, at which point he’s shamed and rejected by literally everyone but at some point he also tries to work in construction but accidentally breaks stuff and is told “You’re not a Con-struct. You’re a DE-STRUCT.” then he wanders around in a labyrinthine cave fighting a two-headed creature called something like, The VanterViper that wants to kill all the baby ants or something at i think in the end he’s appointed like official Mom of all the babies or something of that nature
The Ugly Duckling - Standard retelling of the classic tale, this one was created almost exclusively to sell Crayola products i’m pretty sure. This version has a baby swan just trying to live his best life but then a bunch of [redacted] sing at his adoptive mom about how “one bad apple spoils the batch” and he either runs away or gets kicked out. then he runs into a mouse who wears boots and has red hair and she proceeds to call him “Ugly” as if that’s his name, for the entire rest of the movie. He winds up inside a house at one point and two freaky looking cats sing at him about the importance of having “a high IQ” i think a church burns down and he saves the mouse? over the course of the film he gets more and more swan-like in appearance and maybe works for a theater for a little while and then everyone loves him.
Scamper - a bunch of penguins are trying to hatch their eggs but then they’re attacked by...something....and one penguin feels bad about losing some eggs so he takes someone else’s but then admits what he did and returns the egg to its real parents and everyone mourns the loss of their children while being grateful for the survivors. when the eggs hatch there’s like a little pink penguin and a little bluish penguin and they’re friends, they’re learning to slide during Penguin School but then they get captured and wind up on a boat and there’s a dog. They eat really tasty-looking crackers out of bags and are terrorized by the ship’s crew until they manage to escape and find their way back home to their grieving parents.
Willy the Sparrow - a sick (literally and figuratively) young boy has fun bullying a cat and being a [redacted] to birds but then an elderly woman turns him into a sparrow to teach him a lesson. He meets other birds, all of whom have decidedly human heads of hair, including an old man sparrow who teaches him to fly. he winds up challenging the former child-leader-of-the-sparrows for power using his human smarts to amaze them all and eventually leads an attack on the cat who rightfully holds a massive grudge against him. idk he like helps them find food or something and then gets turned back into a human maybe
The Seventh Brother - a young child is moving to a new place and brings her puppy, but somehow his carrier is knocked out of the car??? or something?? and he winds up lost in the forest but is rescued by a large family of rabbits who teach him how to act like a rabbit. He saves one of them from being carried off by a bird but then begins to die of malnutrition as dogs can’t live on the same diet as rabbits for any length of time. also, he rescues a former tormentor from a creepy-as-hell predator and is badly wounded in the process, prompting the rabbits to band together to get him home to his owner. they succeed and he’s pretty much cured by one (1) bowl of puppy food.
Some Blue’s Clues Special: idk whatever’s the one with the treble-clef and the treasure hunt where the ‘treasure’ turned out to be Steve’s grandma’s cookies that you can tell the exact taste and smell of just by looking at them and also the grandma made an appearance too
That Weird Puppet Cat in the Hat Thing with the grouchy bird who had to be taught how to play pretend but then was pushed into a panic attack when the group was playing pirates and he imagined it too vividly so then they explained that he could change the story at any time and also at one point they played a game called “pass the yawn” and the bird just went OFF more than once
Some cartoon, i think it was Anastasia, where at one point someone’s taking some stuff away and the girl says what on reflection i think might have been “My luggage!” but at the time i thought was “my lungs!” and i spent the whole movie thinking they done straight up confiscated the girl’s lungs.
The Swan Princess - and i remember nothing except the way Odette would say “Darren!” and the fact that she spent a lot of time as a bird and there was a puffin. also Darren was one of my early crushes purely because i liked his name.
The Secrets of NIHM 2: main character’s name was Timothy and was one of the first characters i mentally fanfic’d about. there was some song that was like “Just! say! Yes!” where i think he was being pressured to do drugs or be experimented on or something but mostly i remember him singing “I am my father’s son” and me being so confused thinking “well yeah?? Who else’s son could you be???”
idk some Thumbalina thing all i remember is “Deary! Marry the Mole!”
Friggin’ Barbie Rapunzel there was a purple(?) dragon and Rapunzel liked to paint and that movie was where i learned the word “adequate” and i’m still mad at that woman for being so rude like lady. who raised you. where are your manners. i think the dad dragon wanted the purple dragon to hate humans or something idk
some other film where there was a very definitely purple dragon but i can’t remember any details so it’s just going to haunt me forever but it was like a small-ish purple dragon.
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anarchy-in-the-pre-k · 4 years ago
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feel incredibly weird. took a nap after doing almost nothing that would cause me to be especially tired today. i mean, i woke up at 10:30, did 1 class, shoveled the 1 inch of snow off my driveway, then i slept for the next 4 hours. i dreamt i was sick (and maybe, i probably am now irl) and i was making music. maybe it was a weird time of day in my dream too. i remember feeling this same gross blend of maturity/infantile back-at-home existence/disgust at my own body that i feel every day irl. was i making a shitty skramz album in my dream? that would be funny. when i went back upstairs in my dream my dad was pissed at me. he accused me of faking being sick and yelled at me (like he does every time im sick irl) but my mom was still alive and she partially calmed him down. they asked me about my plans for the future and seemed weirdly loving for a second. i told them about the indentured-servant audio graduate program in georgia and they told me that it sounded like a good idea. my parents started reminiscing, although i guess it was my mom specifically, about some theater-house they used to go too. maybe it was something more explicit like opera, but in front of/part of the theater-house was a huge flock of incredibly creepy long-legged huge-beaked water birds. And birds like this i suppose are generally fairly gentle, even the meat-eating ones, but these birds were just so silent, and put off such a murderous mental vibe. i think that they were psychically broadcasting/inclining everyone near them towards hatred. they were very cold and hateful. in a flashback somehow, i saw somebody throw some kind of ceremonial fish/offering into the water where they were standing. there was a short, slow and silent soccer-like skirmish to get the fish, which was at last cornered in the pond by one bird, leaving the others to go back to other corners of the pond to mind their business. the bird stabbed it straight through with its long/thin beak. i guess this fish was still alive, it started bleeding out and flopping like crazy until it stopped thrashing and lay still a few moments later. the bird didnt even eat the fish. it killed it, stepped out of the pond, and lay down to rest right next to its dying body, only half-looking over its shoulder at it sometimes. i remember now, my parents called them “taipei” birds/herons i think. they were bright red and yellow and brown/black. im awake now, and i hate it here. i had such a horrible dream, teasing me with the eeriness of a still-alive mom, a somewhat loving family, the horrible psychic messages from the birds, but i hate being awake too. all of my friends have moved on without me, even the two bookish communists who have been my only real human connection besides my dad for the last 3 years. theyve unfollowed me on twitter, meet up all the time without me, i dont get invited to anything anymore. i dont even know what ive done wrong besides be boring/stupid in their eyes. and i do definitely feel boring/stupid. i felt horrible laying down to bed at 6PM, because whether online, irl, or in my dreams i feel like all i ever get are nonstop reminders that i am alone and the good times are over. i am writing this for nobody. i just feel so much dread, both for the world at large politically and for how i might turn out socially. ive felt my social skills deteriorating for a while before quarantine, and this might have been the final nail. i dont know what it fucking is. i spend my day as a flattened wojak listening to my dad be incredibly racist and homophobic, throwing tantrums about every little thing that his bar friends or somebody on facebook says to him, i even heard him refer to me as his therapist to someone over the phone this morning, then i go to sleep full of hatred for myself and wondering why i couldnt be good enough for the last few friends i had again, then i get a fucked up dream about my dead mom and murder birds doing horrible things and sending me horrible telepathic messages to just hate everyone and everything as much as i can, and now i wake up in a world thats just so horrible and confusing and lonely and shows no signs of getting better in the slightest. fuck you joe biden, the liberals are happy now, the public pressure is off, and im back in a fucking john carpenter “they live” scenario where i feel like only 1 of like 15 fucking people total who realize that everything is just as bad. i hate it here, i hate it irl, and i hate it in my own mind. fuck you joe biden, and your psychic bad-vibes herons.
tl;dr: things suck everywhere. reality sucks, the internet has been fully subsumed by reality at this point, it sucks in my mind, and art isnt even an escape anymore bc escapist art just bums me out with the constant implication that life needs escaping from, and good art is almost always just depression-affirming
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aximili · 5 years ago
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hey anon i figured i wont publish ur submission but just respond to it as best i can!
your situation sounds really difficult so i just wanted to say firstable that you are doing an awesome job facing what you’ll look back on as one of the most difficult periods of your life and balancing so much shit, i really admire you! 
with all your questions i guess take my answers with a pinch of salt because even tho i know your situation somewhat from your submission, i can’t really know how things are and what feels right/safe/sensible
-is it worth it coming out if you don’t pass and probably wont for a long time if ever -
 i mean, this is kinda the broader version of the whole question but i think you already know the answer is yes. ‘cause if dysphoria (i’m not talking about bodily specifically, i think that whole divide is fairly pointless, i mean the social dysphoria that causes us to identify as trans) is affecting you this strongly and consistently even when you have little space to express it, then that won’t go away from suppressing it. like... expressing your actual self is vital and you deserve that. and i know it’s easy to say that in the abstract when coming out to people who’ll continue to misgender you is the worst, and it could make some situations more difficult, so picking a way and time where you have a contingency plan for if stuff goes south is unfortunately key, but yes, it is worth it for the people who will make an effort to address you as you and how amazing that feels (and some of those who do might surprise you). 
am i still valid as a trans guy if i dont go to any lengths to present as masculine as possible -
 i make a lot of jokes about You Are Valid but like dude of course you are. gender presentation is completely made up. and i get what you mean about how trying to dress manly and just being read as butch can cause you pain, i definitely felt that when i was first trying to dress from the mens section and it just seemed to draw such obvious confusion from people, whereas when i wore more androgynous stuff that was in the womens section then nobody was looking at me like i was in the wrong place. it’s difficult. plus what you said abt binding like - binding really can be quite harmful, and obivously in some cases it’s essential to combat dysphoria but yeah, if it’s not making you feel better then just conforming to the idea of what a trans guy looks like doesnt mean you should restrict your chest so heavily. 
is it worth it to come out if it could potentially cause me to lose the only family you care about, should i wait until they’re old enough that their dad can’t force them to hate me -
 this part i really don’t know how to answer for you unfortunately. coming out to my family was really difficult and painful and didn’t go the way that i wanted it to, so i wish i could say “your siblings love you, they’ll completely understand” but i can’t guarantee that and that could end up causing more hurt so like... i don’t know. i don’t know how old your siblings are, but is there a way you could sort of gently introduce the idea to them? like say “people have been calling me this name at work and i really like it” and see how they respond? they could be totally on board and open-minded, and they could not get it at all, and i don’t know, but if their dad is giving them a lot of hateful views about lgbt people then maybe not using words like transgender but just talking about it as a change in yourself and stuff that’s making you happy could be a safer way to introduce the topic. 
how should i come out at all in either setting like do i just drop it into a conversation or do i give hints and wait for them to ask, should i just wait until i hopefully go on hormones and see if anyone notices and then deal with it in like 2 years time probably, should i just quit my job and run away and find a cave to live in instead? -
yep, that last one. but nah seriously if you like your job and there’s a lot of lgb people there i think that’s rly good. i’ve only been out as trans in one job and it was never explicitly talked about bc i was already socially transitioned, i just like... didn’t pass and then went on hormones & suddenly did. but if you have a supervisor/hr person who you trust and seems chill (esp if they’re also lgb) you could talk to them and ask for advice and gauge the vibe from that? i know what you mean that like, lgb people can still be shitty about trans stuff, so that’s no guarantee, but at minimum if they react kinda weird about it and you get a bad vibe, then at least they have to keep it confidential and you can drop it and wait. this isn’t exactly an equivalent but when i had my second top surgery for like corrections, @ my current job one of my supervisors who’s a lesbian was one of only a couple people who knew the specific nature of the surgery and she was super helpful to talk to about it, and said she would take my lead on what to tell people i was off sick with, etc. so it’s possible someone at work could help by like, organising a way to drop it into meeting agendas as a small point for everyone there who knows you or something? like “just to make everyone aware x is now going by y and should be referred to as a man with he/him pronouns. we hope you will all be supportive of this change!” i don’t really know honestly, i think there’s no way to come out to a big group of people that isn’t gonna feel a bit awkward, but i really hope they’d be cool with it cause it would be so good for you to have somewhere that feels safe to be you, even if that place is work 
hope this helps even tho it’s equally as rambling haha, good luck w everything!
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annabelharmony · 5 years ago
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Select Language​▼
40,000+ online now
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say STAND WITH HONG KONG AGAINST THE CCP!
You both like advice.
Stranger: i am m16 and want to fuck my mom :(
You: your step mom
Stranger: no my real mom
You: is she hot
Stranger: she’s been teasing me
Stranger: yes
You: no she hasnt
Stranger: yes she has
You: like what
Stranger: she constantly try’s peering at my dick and has her tits out :(
You: haha really
Stranger: yes
You: well dont do it
Stranger: why i want to
You: bc shell go to jail
Stranger: sorry i don’t wanna fuck her
Stranger: i want her to give my dick kisses
Stranger: and cuddle with me and let
Stranger: me suck her breasts
You: ok? thatll lead to fucking
You: and she can go to jail for that
Stranger: who’s gonna find out
You: me lol
You: also whats up with your dad
Stranger: he’s old and fat
You: lmao
Stranger: i’m 6’2 taller then him
Stranger: he’s 5’11
You: wow thats hot youre so tall
Stranger: well i’m not unattractive looking and i like the look of my body
You: im 5'3
Stranger: uoure a girl?
You: uh yeah
Stranger: how old?
You: 14 lol
Stranger: awe haha
Stranger: this was kinda weird sorry then lmao
Stranger: if i had a girlfriend who babied me i’d be so happy
You: not your mom right
You: bc we arent doing that?
You: bc she gave birth to you??
Stranger: i think i just have pent up sexual thoughts
Stranger: i don’t think i’d do anything just it’s frustrating
You: ik
Stranger: like
You: shits gonna be weird every family reunion
Stranger: she constantly does things that make me think she wants it but it’s definitely me jus throng horny
You: ok so she def has a problem
You: who tf she is
Stranger: at 16 is it normal that she kisses my lips?
You: yes
You: does she use tounge?
Stranger: a lot of people here say no
Stranger: and no but i wish she did
You: haha you might just be fooling urself
Stranger: so like
Stranger: the other day i had to go to the post office and mom told me to throw all my
Stranger: clothes in the wash when i got home
Stranger: then to shower
Stranger: so i did and i normally always have pants on because i don’t like walking in just boxers so i ran quickly to the bathroom
Stranger: and she was in there and i’m in my underwear and she’s cleaning, i told her i had to get in and i got hard bc she was wearing no bra with a loose shirt :(
Stranger: she kept bumping against me as she left and it made me harder and she kept looking at jt
You: how old is she just wondering
Stranger: like 39
You: um ok
Stranger: looks like 32
You: can you do me a favor
Stranger: yes
You: please for the love of god go on dr phil
Stranger: lmao no
You: so i can say my bff from omegle is on dr phil after he tried to fuck his mom
You: has she ever explicity said anything weird
Stranger: she does enough to make me think, too little to confirm it. yesterday i went to the bathroom when she walked in and i said “i can’t pee when your in here” and turned around enough so she could see my dick and she said “when i was a baby i saw your pp all the time and you
Stranger: peed all over me!”
Stranger: so i laughed and hugged her :(
You: BRO WTF
You: THAT IS SO UNBELIEVABLY UNPROBLEMATIC
Stranger: :(
You: PROBLEMATIC
You: ok that would be a nice story if she wasnt literaly your mom
Stranger: :( can i say it’s my step mom
Stranger: would you feel beyter
You: yes i would
Stranger: so we are talking about my step mom who does this what do i do to be able to get further?
You: just get her pregnant and youll be the father of your half sibling
You: um well like to seduce her
You: or just in general
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: just like
Stranger: i want to know
Stranger: if she wants what i want
Stranger: without ruining everything
Stranger: i give her kisses but even if i don’t pull away she pulls away first
You: walk in when shes changing and dont leave
You: ok so i saw this thing on dr phil right
You: Well I saw two things
You: One was a mother in law and her daughters husband
Stranger: it’s like she’ll ask me to leave if she’s changing, but if she’s peeing in the room i she stands up and wipes in front of me and shows her pussy
You: then dont leave and wait for her to make a move on you
You: youve seen her pussy?
Stranger: yes but like she doesn’t like
Stranger: idk
You: ok so basically the mom walked in while he was jacking off
You: and then she jacked him off so if you want that ig you could try that??
Stranger: but i can’t just let her catch me jacking off what if she got embarassed
You: does she masturbate?
Stranger: she fucks my dad srill
Stranger: still
You: ok then show up right after they finish
You: while shes still naked but hes out of the room
Stranger: thays the problem. i can’t really do that.
Stranger: so i know they fuck when they say goodnight then get up to go to the bsthroom
Stranger: because they have to get ready for bed after they fuck
Stranger: but they say goodnight before then and lock their dolf
Stranger: door
You: well have her walk in on you right
You: and make direct eye contact
You: whats the best advice youve gotten so far i just wanna know
Stranger: well like. when i use the bathroom when she’s in there i’ll show it off and masturbate a little and tell her i’m having trouble prring
Stranger: peeing
You: oh ok
You: has anyone given you any good ideas
Stranger: that was a good idea i thought
Stranger: i haven’t done that much yet
Stranger: but i want to more
Stranger: ohh there’s one more
Stranger: when i get sick and i’m all alone with her i want to call for her in the bathroom if i take a shower or tub
Stranger: and tell her i feel ike i’m gonna be sick
Stranger: and show my hard cock
You: haha ok
Stranger: i’ve been walking around hard and pushing it against her when i can
Stranger: hugs from behind and kisses on the lips
Stranger: and she’s been wearing bras where her nipples fall out lots
You: I really like you but idk what to tell you
Stranger: and like the other night we watched tv and she put her legs on top of me and rested one on my crotch but didn’t make it obvious. if it happens again i’ll press her feet down on it
Stranger: you like me?? but i’m weird as fuck
You: your problem is so fucking specific
Stranger: hahaha
You: no i dont like you like you
You: I think your a good person
Stranger: what makes you say that?
You: But idk if I should be helping you by preventing you from doing this
You: Or give you ideas?
Stranger: give me ideas
You: idk you seem nice
Stranger: right now i’m sitting on my bed with a hard cock just thinking about it. talking about it helps relieve some of the stresss
You: like youre horny as fuck but not as much as some other people
Stranger: like i’m i circumsised right? and i think my mum likes it thay was since she was the one who decided
Stranger: un^*
You: ok
Stranger: so when i show her when i’m soft i think she actually enjoys it
You: so i have a question about like circumcised and that stuff
Stranger: and like when i take the head out it’s super sensitive and i just want my step mommy to give me kisses there :(
Stranger: yes please!
You: i feel like circumsising your cocks like a religous thing right?
You: like its not as common
Stranger: exactly yes
Stranger: mostly common in jews but for some reason most americans do it
You: are you a jew?
Stranger: they think it looks better but i love the way it feels and looks
Stranger: nope because i am uncircumsized
You: wait but like
Stranger: jews are the ones who circumsise
You: this shits so confusing
You: ok i feel like circumsised penises look more normal??
Stranger: hahah yeah a bit, my mommy didn’t want any chances of it going wrong and hurting my dick
You: is that just my opinion ive seen that more
You: she wont hurt your dick
Stranger: i like am so horny talking to you it’s crazy i’m sorry
Stranger: circumsised dudes normally have a super sensitive tip, because the skin goes over the heads
Stranger: head
You: oh wait is it bc guys normally jack off and then we the head
Stranger: if i pull my skin back, it looks the exact same as a circumsised one
You: idk bro it shouldnt matter but ive been really confused
You: yeah that makes sense
Stranger: it’s ok, if you love someone it doesn’t matter the size of their tits dick the shape of their cock or vag it’s all normal
Stranger: you know?
You: are you insecure about yours or smth
Stranger: not at all, there’s things that make it not very normal but i like it
Stranger: like when i’m hard it’s curved upward, a lot of dicks do it’s not perfectly straight
Stranger: and i have foreskin which a lot of guys don’t hahe
Stranger: but it makes it more special i guess thinking someone would wanna give my pp kisses regardless of how it looks
You: yeah girls literaly have no prefrence of it
You: they dont care
You: well
Stranger: as long as it’s clean and nice and smells good it’s fine :)
Stranger: i shave because i like the way it feels
You: i was talking to a guy earlier whos complaining about his gf not liking his big dick
You: wait was that about vaginas
Stranger: i’m 6-7 is that too big too small or average?
You: average i think
Stranger: that’s good :) i have a thick cock too
Stranger: it looks nice is what i’m saying
You: thats good
Stranger: i like romance
Stranger: a fon
Stranger: ton
Stranger: i’d get so turned on my cuddling and small soft kisses
You: i dont really think thats a guys thing
Stranger: when my mom wakes me up in the morning i wrap my arms around her and kiss her and pull her on top of me
Stranger: then she gets up
You: um ok thats nice
Stranger: step mom
Stranger: what do you like
Stranger: are you a virgin?
Stranger: i am
You: yeah obviously
Stranger: hmm what size titties do you have?
Stranger: you don’t have to answer if it makes you uncomfortsbld
Stranger: i just like imagining
Stranger: thay maybe someone like you was here next to me
You: idk what do you think
You: oh well i guess you wouldnt know
Stranger: haha i’ll give a guess uhh B cup
You: yeah thats right actually
You: but sometimes they get a little bigger
Stranger: i’m 180 pounds 6’2 i’m 6-7 inches long i’m white with blackish hair thay is parted in the middle and people tell me i have a nice smir
Stranger: smile
You: haha ok thank you
Stranger: haha :)
Stranger: do you think it’s wrong for me to wanna start showing my pp to my mommy
You: yes
You: but i still accept you
Stranger: tank you :))
You: haha ur welcome
Stranger: hey i think you’re cute. i don’t know you very well but since i’m talking to you i want you to know if you were here i’d snuggle with you and kiss your titties <3
You: i didnt like you that much till i found out your hairs parted in the middle
You: aw ok
Stranger: my pp wants kisses :(
You: hey i have to go in a sec
You: if you wanna keep talking you can give your snap or smth
You: but if you dont want to its fine
Stranger: i have terrible anxiety and i told you i wanted to like do things with my mommy :( i would so give you it but i’ve probably already fucked myself
You: wdym
Stranger: like you said it’s illegal to fuck my mom
Stranger: and i told you i was gonna tru my best to
You: jesus i wont tell anybody
You: but i swear if you dont to its fine
You: *dont want to
You: you still there?
Stranger: yes sorry
Stranger: ;-; i just don’t know
You: ok i literaly have to go now
Stranger: i’m dorry
Stranger: sory
Stranger: <3 thanks for taking wit me
You: ok i hope you end up alright
You: see ya
Stranger: same to you thanks for being super understanding and helpful to talk to
Stranger: hoenstly
Stranger: made my heart happy
Stranger: <3 <3
0 notes
rawcbwzx-blog · 5 years ago
Text
How does car insurance work?
How does car insurance work?
I work at *** insurace services and im a secretary. i do nothing but answer calls. i want to know how this place works. i know they insure taxis,. limos, trucks. and personal cars. but how do my managers get paid. HOW DOES THIS PLACE WORK. so i dont have to feel lost all the time at work. i still dont know why they hired me.. weird
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :INSUREQUOTE.US
SOURCES:
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I m a young driver, gt 2011 convertible , out of state . policy so that i the moment. Anyone know I ve driven it? Hopefully better fiscally to not Also, which insurance company need the cheapest one I am in need. I thought why not much can she get? really scared... I think auto in card in have to pay them I expect for car mandatory, even criminal if looked up quotes and a 1987 Suzuki Intruder minimal health problems, need there are another couple sick. we have the insurance and which companys person had no insurance part but affordable? please cost more or less country to see family? The car is used. Car Insurance? Home owners 21 years old and year old male driving 3 Series BMW. Will the least possible amount. lane, when i looked care of it. I plan on driving those on the father s insurance? many years to get to New York and they can t make them no, i lost 3 .
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lazytacomoon-blog · 7 years ago
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How much average does a family of four pay annually or monthly for health insurance?
"How much average does a family of four pay annually or monthly for health insurance?
I'm currently in the military and plan on getting out in 3yrs. I have an EF but people in the service forget about health insurance (because its free now). I want to set my family up. Just wondering what would I be looking at paying when I separate for a family of four so I can start saving
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://insureinfo.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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What is the average cost of mobile home insurance in California?
""Affordable, good quality health insurance for California residents?""
I'm a college student, 19 years old (20 in March) and my mom is 58. We both need health insurance...what are some of your experiences with Kaiser, Blue Shield, Blue Cross, etc...? What would you recommend? Just looking or some input! Thanks<3""
What is a affordable health insurance? I need one that is cheap for 1 person. Thanks to all who answer. ?
In Columbus Ohio
""Car Insurance Cost, ages 16-22?""
I'm trying to get a rough Idea of what teens -20's pay for car insurance. Please list what company and how mcuh you pay, (*Don't List if your on your parents insurance*). Thanks.""
I got a police report...will my insurance get a hold of it???
My bf was driving and he doesnt have a license :( will my insurance get the police report...causing the rates to go up????
How much would my car insurance be?
I'm 16 years old & a female. I am 5'5 & weigh 150 lbs. I am purchasing a USED 2003 Audi A4 Quattro Base Sedan 4-Door 1.8L ; I was wondering what the estimated car insurance would be for me so I can start by getting the right idea of how much I would need to save each month. Thank you. :)
Is it bad to cancel new car insurance after just 1 month?
ok i bought a bad car from a dealer that scammed me and im a new driver and it was the first time i had a car and the first time i put on car insurance the reason why im asking is because ive bought the car and after 10 min of driving the car it died on me and there was no warranty dumb of me not to buy a warranty plus it was an old car anyways i got new car insurance and i sold the car and people was telling me that because im a new driver if i cancel my insurance early that i wont be able to open up a new one or it will be harder to open one up in future is that true?
""Car accident person at fault has no insurance, what now?""
had a car accident a week ago, minor injury to wrist havent gone to doctor, other persons fault, person B failed to yield while turning left and drove right in front of me. I have full coverage on my part, however fault being hers i made a claim to insurance she provided to police report. the thing is that the owner of vehicles insurance policy does not have person b listed on that policy but person b has same home address as policy holder so technically theyre insurance will not cover me. they have restricted non standard policy, and i do not have uninsured motorist coverage on my policy nor car rental coverage. their insurance is investigating this in he meanwhile so they say. i am not sure whether i should get my insurance to handle this, if i do i would have expect higher premium, pay deductible, rental car and medical fees out of pocket. I am wondering if i should have patience or start looking for a lawyer and forget my own insurance.""
Good car insurance rate?
Is $400/annually for 1 way car insurance a good deal? I an with triple a, and drive a 94 Honda accord 1 way policy. Ive been with them for a couple years now bcuz they got towing in my policy. Just wondering is this a good price? as my policy renewal deadline is near.?""
How much would car insurance cost me?
I am a 22 year old female in Washington State, had one incident found to be not at fault, i drive a 98 Dodge Stratus""
""If i have insurance for my car, how much more will it cost to own a motorcycle?""
If i have insurance for my car, how much more will it cost to own a motorcycle?""
Car insurance help in NC?
If your insurance is canceled will I have to pay to get the tag legal again,if so how much.Thanks in advance :)""
What should 17year olds be paying for?
What should a 17yr old, still in full time school be paying for if they earn 130 ($260) a month and pay 50 ($100) a month towards car insurance. Should things like a normal haircut be paid for by parents etc? Just wondering about your opinions!""
What should I get first insurance or car register?
So here is what happen. I went to pay for my sticker at dmv the insurance was done. They void my car sticker and gave a orange one that says void. Couple months I started working now I save up to get insurance to get my car sticker. But they when I went to get insurance they all asking for registration paper. So I lost those paper I looked everywhere. What should I do first get registration paper at dmv then go to insurance because then go back to dmv to get the sticker? Or get insurance first then go to the dmv??
""If a car insurance company office is closed, can you still insure the car on their website?""
If a car insurance company office is closed, can you still insure the car on their website?""
Can a 17 year old hold insurance to more than 1 car?
can they have fully comp insurance on more than 1 car
Where can I get babysitting insurance in the UK?
I have scoured the internet but keep being told they won't give me babysitting insurance unless I am a registered childminder. Help please?
What is a good health insurance for age 19 and up?
at the moment i am 18 but will be turning 19 in 10 days...and i was wondering what is a good health insurance to apply to. i have Anthem Blue Cross Healthy Families. I am looking for something similar or almost similar...if someone could please help me. thank you soo much. ps if this helps i live in california....thank you again!!
How much average does a family of four pay annually or monthly for health insurance?
I'm currently in the military and plan on getting out in 3yrs. I have an EF but people in the service forget about health insurance (because its free now). I want to set my family up. Just wondering what would I be looking at paying when I separate for a family of four so I can start saving
What is the cheapest home insurance in southern california?
I have heard that there is a california state home insurance program that you can get the cheapest property insurance, Does anybody know what it is called and how can i get a quote?""
Car insurance coverage help!?
Currently I have a financed car. And is still currently paying for it monthly. After doing some research and purchasing my car insurance coverage - State Farm. My dad insisted he will help me with all the process. However, after he and I got done with everything. My coverage are, A - Liability P20 - Personal Injury Protection U, W uninsured and underinsured And finally these two: D - 500 Deductible Comprehensive G - 500 Deductible Collision which I learn online it is OPTIONAL to have: ( SO WHY DO I NEED IT EXACTLY THEN? my dad try explaining it but it didn't get through my hot head. ) So can anyone please tell me is it a requirement for me to have those to coverage D & G, if not I would really like to get it off and save some money instead of throwing it out the window. Thanks.""
How expensive would liability insurance be for a pageant?
I am directing a pageant, and I have to have liability insurance to host it at the place we are hosting it. How much would that cost?""
Best motorcycle insurance coverage and cheapest in PA?
What is the cheapest motorcycle insurance i can get in Philadelphia PA? I know i could get a quote but i dont want to get a bunch of junk mail and give my personal information away. Basically, which insurance provider is the best? For the price? And also, what do you think would be my quote and what provider? Im 18 years old, with my first motorcycle, 2007 suzuki gsxr 600 (dont whine, im not wasting money on a 250cc bike) i also took the MSF safety course. (gives me about a 10% discount) ill choose the best answer if i get a good one.""
Is auto insurance legally required to drive your motorcycle in NYC?
I have tried googling the question, and all I get are all ad junk sites trying to get my personal information for free quotes. I cannot seem to find any legal information as to driving a motorcycle uninsured in NYC. I understand it is mandatory to have auto insurance on your car for liability damages, to other parties as well as medical bills. However, I cannot find any information if this applies to motorcycles as well. Do motorcycles fall under this statute as it is an Auto Vehicle? I am not looking forward to any fines and revoking of my license. Thank you in advance.""
How much will insurance be now?
I'm 16, I got in a big car accident.. I flipped over my car twice. Fortunately, I was untouched and I was the only one involved. Naturally, I was taken off the insurance policy and lost my car. Before, I had the good student discount so we paid $350 for half a year as a full time driver. How much would I have to pay to be a full time driver now after the accident? My dad said $2000 but it can't be that much? Will they strip me of my good student discount? How much will it cost to be put on as a part time driver now? Will it go down after a year? Please help?! I've been very depressed as the whole experience was very traumatizing. My mom keeps giving me a tough time about it and I just cry randomly throughout the day and eat all the time to cope. I don't understand how it could happen to me, I'm a model student, I have straight A pluses in all advanced and AP classes and I was even following the law when I had my accident. Tips on coping would be appreciated as well. Thanks.""
""Someone hit my car, but does not have car insurance.?""
I went outside to get in my car, and found that someone hit my drivers side door. A lady came out and told me she saw it happen, but couldn't get any info on the vehicle other than that it belonged to a neighbor's friend. Well I got the girls name and phone # from the neighbor, but they didn't think she has car insurance. Should I even bother calling the girl or should I call the cops and file a hit and run police report? I should note that this girl hit my car about a month ago. I wanted to wait till I had her information. Is it too late to call the cops?""
Car Insurance in India?
Hi, I have bought a new car Ritz and along with that, the dealer has provided me Insurance from royal sundaram. I heard that insurance companies pays only fifty percent of repair ...show more""
Do you believe medical insurance should pay for breast implants?
Vasectomy, chiropractors, accupuncture, penile enlargement, orthopedic shoes? Why? Have you used it for such?""
""What company can I use to purchase private dental insurance in Seattle, WA?""
which dental company can I use to purchase affordable dental care privately, not through an employee? For anyone age 18 and over and would cover basic dental visits and surgery such ...show more""
Can I get insurance now that my wife is pregnant?
My wife is 35 weeks pregnant. I graduated from Respiratory therapy school this past spring. At the time my wife, son and I were on Medicaid. Now that I have a good job I make too much money and am going to get booted off Medicaid. Can we get insurance for my wife?""
""Can a 16yr. old making $800 a month, afford a car that cost $24,000....parents payinng for insurance...?""
Can a 16yr. old making $800 a month, afford a car that cost $24,000....parents payinng for insurance...?""
""What do you think is the best, most reliable, and inexpensive AUTO INSURANCE company?
In the state of FL.
What exactly does term life insurance mean?
I have been paying in to a Chase Life term insurance policy for $100,000.00 for over 10 years. I have recently received a quote for $250,000.00 term policy for LESS than I am paying for the $100K policy. Do I lose anything by changing companies?""
On whos name should be the insurance?
need help with car insurance. the car is registerested on my girlfriend... and current insurance is on her name - but we both included ... now we want to change company... the only thing is that my girlfriend currently is not in country... can I buy insurance on my name with both included even if the car is registered on her name?
Unitrin Direct Auto Insurance (Any good?)?
Asked by: hyphenga-ga I recently responded to an e-mail for a free auto insurance price quote (I'm in California). I wasn't really looking to shop around - and wasn't planning to switch companies to save a buck or two, but I was kinda shocked when the price quote I got from Unitrin Direct (same coverage limits and deductibles) was $510 less than I'm paying now. I called and asked what the catch was and they said they sell direct with no agents/offices and pass the savings onto the customer (logical, but obviously scripted answer). They also touted an A.M. Best Excellent rating, but what good is financial stability if they bungle claims (for example) or have terrible customer service? So I guess I'm looking for a little confidence - or a big fat warning - before I jump into anything. Are they reputable? Is there any objective info available about them? (I'd love any good/bad comments from Unitrin customers out there too.)""
Looking for supplemental health insurance?
my mom currenlty has health insurance through her job, but of course, the health insurance company does not pay for everything of which some of the things her doctors really thinks she needs. Are there any companies that offer resonable supplemental health insurance to help pay for copays, shots, medications, etc., that her current health provider wont pay for? Also, are there any that will accept pre exisiting conditions, or do you have to be perfectly healthy to be eligible. Please help............""
How much will it cost me for insurance and plates etc..?
im buying a 94 supra twin turbo for $18,500. im getting a loan from the bank for the car but what else do i need after i buy it? how much do i need? should $600 be enough for all that stuff?""
Why do you not want to buy insurance?
I'm a believer of having protection and that's why I joined the industry as an agent. I do not like to force sell to buy so I'm here trying to collect the possible reasons to why people are not paying attention to getting themselves covered. Also, what do you understand about insurance?""
Cheapest car insurance companies for young adults?
I'm a 23 year-old student attending to college, my dad has Allstate so he added me into his policy and it looks like I'll be paying $224.11 for six months; driving a 2001 Mazda Millenia. Does this sounds comprehensive? I feel as is too much. Also, what if I put myself as a married person, will that make a big difference? Thank you.""
How much would my car insurance be when I move to california?
I will be 25. I am male and I drive a 2008 Kia optima. Car is paid off. No accidents on my record. (Knock on wood). I want to get the most affordable coverage. So in an estimate, how much am I looking at monthly? I will be living in San Diego""
Can car insurance not pay?
I was recently visiting a friend at his apartment. We heard sirens and looked out---and saw a car on fire next to my motorcycle. The car was totalled as was my motorcyle and another car had damage. The car on fire----his insurance won't pay---they say it was a mechanical failure---and they don't have to pay.
How much will my insurance be?
im 21 never had an accident i have a scion fr-s and plan on getting a yamaha r6 next month and this summer im buying a wrecked supra for a project car once everythings fixed what will my insurance cost?
19 years old and cheapest insurance i've found is 4.5k WHATS GOING ON?
Right basically i'm 19, recently past my test tried looking at every single type of car there is even with pass plus discount and it's barely even gone below 6000 (4500 wasn't even what i found, it was my sister that probably got one of my details wrong) I've even tried having parents as named drivers and i cant think of anything else i've not already tried. Even friends i know have had it less than 2000 and at the moment i'll be happy to get below 3000 Pleaseee help!""
Where is the cheapest place to find car insurance for an 18 year old?
Hey, was just wondering where the best place to look for cheap young drivers car insurance? I understand that I am still going to be paying a significant amount money for it but surely there must be some cheaper than 2000? Also does anyone know which type of car is the cheapest to insure? Thanks""
How much average does a family of four pay annually or monthly for health insurance?
I'm currently in the military and plan on getting out in 3yrs. I have an EF but people in the service forget about health insurance (because its free now). I want to set my family up. Just wondering what would I be looking at paying when I separate for a family of four so I can start saving
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-much-car-insurance-marta-grim"
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phophiecar · 7 years ago
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Kari
I am logged into your tumblr bc I miss you and your login info is still saved on my computer and your password hasn’t changed. You can change it if you find this post. I’m just laughing at things you posted because we could have laughed together if we were still best friends. I blocked you on everything because I had to choose my boyfriend, or you. And you were hurting me. I was trying my best, and yeah we both made mistakes, but it wasn’t your usual girl chooses boyfriend over best friend scenario. My best friend was bringing me down, I was doing worse in school, I was beginning to be late at work, and it sucked that I couldn’t help you and I couldn’t understand your pain. But because of what happened between us, you were making me lose my happiness because you were unhappy, and that wasn’t fair. I hated choosing. I cried myself to sleep for months. I went to therapy on and off, I finally found a good therapist, but I had to quit my job because of what became of my mental health and in order to keep up with school. So I in turn stopped going to therapy. There are so many things I want to say, in hopes that you creep on my tumblr sometimes (even though I blocked you). I blocked you because I was on tumblr one day, and jake was reading over my shoulder, and we both laughed at a post that was on my feed, then without speaking, both realized that you had reblogged it. So I had to block you, out of respect for him. Sometimes I don’t feel the same with him, and I worry that it is because of things that happened between us. I want to marry him one day, because I know he would always be there for me, in sickness and in health. He is always out for my best interests, and supports me no matter what. He has changed so much, and matured like you wouldn’t believe! He also is going to make the most amazing dad, and I want-no... I deserve to be happy.
Sometimes I think that if he were to ever end things with me because he realized that he should see if there is anyone else in the world for him, I would try to get in contact with you. But for the time being, I cannot. I don’t have many close friends now. I push everyone away. No one could ever be as close to me as you were (I sit here holding back tears as I swallow my last mini corn dog). Our souls were so similar, but I needed you to learn what was best for me as a friend. And maybe you did eventually, but it was to late. You had hurt me and given me wounds I didn’t know I had, or I didn’t know how bad they were. Those wounds have turned into scars much like scars I had given myself when self-harming. They are there forever, even when they fade. I know you have your mental health concerns, and that they may be greater than mine according to a textbook. But that’s what all of our ‘serious talks’ were about. Us talking about who was more important. I did consider your feelings, I know you hurt. I didn’t know how to help you. And you lied to me. You lied to me on my birthday, and I cried on my 21st. I didn’t invite you to the bar because I didn’t want to take care of you that night, because even on ‘Kari babysits sophie’ nights, I would always end up taking care of you anyways. And I’m not blaming you. But I am upset with you. That was a big event in my life, that is now forever remembered as I am an asshole who I thought made my best friend go kill herself when she instead intentionally went missing to make me feel bad. Do you know how I know you lied? Because you made me lie to Tim when he broke up with you, the day after one of the worst nights of my life. You made me tell Tim that you were missing so he would worry about you. I cried in your arms on my birthday, because I thought you were going to hurt yourself because of a decision I needed to make for me. And you hugged me and told me I was silly and I was wrong and it was all okay now. I had my two other friends and Jake drive me around for an hour looking for you, and your excuse was that you got lost. You grew up here, I highly doubt you got lost on your way home from ‘getting icing for my cake’. I stay up late at night thinking about it often. About all the things I did wrong, or I could have done to fix the situation. All I thought I wanted was for you to admit your wrong doings, and apologize. But while jake and I are still together, I can’t communicate with you, because of what happened between us. Yes some of it was my fault, but I can’t remember most of that specifically bad night. It comes back in flashes. I thought it was my fault for so long. And to one therapist I talked to, it is my fault. I considered flipping my car on broad st on the way home from that appointment. But I didn’t want to hurt anyone else. There is a difference between regret and something that wasn’t supposed to happen. We had ground rules that you didn’t abide by. Although those rules may have been hazy, they were there. It hurts all the time. I am scared to get close with boys and girls, in social settings and in the work place now because I am not sure if I am in control of myself or if I am just easy to take advantage of because I don’t know when to say no.
It’s hard when people that hung out with us in our old place bring up funny things you used to say. I’ve blocked out almost all the good things about our friendship, because I can’t talk about them with jake. Because he hurts too. I hurt him, because you hurt me. and even though he forgives me and puts the blame on you, I wasn’t all innocent. I made poor choices too. I never drink, and apparently I drank two screw drivers?! You gave me another pill after I said I would make out with you. That’s all I agreed to doing. If a boy were in your position, it would be called rape. (But according to that one asshole psychologist, I am a consenting adult and should have been able to make my own decisions, when I had had three pills of which I didn’t know what they were, and had two drinks, and I don’t even drink. I don’t remember much, but I remember you telling me ‘drink your drink, you haven’t had any’. So I did. Then the next day, you told me I drank mine and yours too. So did you even have anything to drink that night? Did you have any drugs?? This I will never know and it terrifies me to my core. And I know you felt guilt after that too. And that you are dealing with things too. But maybe that is something that we will never get past. (I get confused now with the difference between past and passed). We aren’t like your sister and her bestfriend. Two years and everything will just go back to normal. It’s not as simple as a drinking problem.
I saw you at graduation, and so I hid. I ran to the back of the line so that I wouldn’t have to see you in person. I was terrified the whole time. I’m scared that if I run into you, you will tell me I need to get over things, and that your feelings hurt more. I’m scared of being manipulated into talking with you again, like you manipulated me into hating Michela. I don’t hate her, she’s cool. I miss your family, and your pup. And I’m sorry about the lizard. I don’t feel anything about it because it makes no difference to me because I would never see him again anyways.
But I miss the penthouse. We had the two coolest rooms in college history probably. We had the best inside jokes, and remember that one time we went to Bush Gardens with your family, but we smoked before hand. That was fun for the first couple of hours. Then we both got tired and got headaches. Your parents were so sweet. Be nice to them. They may suck, but it’s generational, and they are just people too. I’ve never creeped on your tumblr like this before. Honest, I was going to just log into mine, and realized your stuff was saved, which I thought I had cleared. I just decided to try it, to see if you had changed your password as well. I changed my password, and the only person it has kept out is me, so good luck. At first I went on to see if you had any posts about how you missed me, and our friendship. Normally there are super specific posts about a feeling, and I take time to reblogged those ones, Incase you ever creep to see how I’m feeling too, ya know like people do with an ex. There was one post that your reblogged, but it may have been about a boy and not me. And that makes sense. Some of my posts about you are angry, because of what I mentioned before. And for that, I am sorry and I’m not sorry. I don’t know how to feel. I couldn’t be half friends with you, I could only be best friends with you, or nothing at all. So it’s like you died. But I can’t mourn the loss of my best friend to anyone. My mother will just change the subject when I bring it up, and all my other friends say I will get over it in time. Except Carmen, she’s such a good listener. But I hate to talk to her about those things every time I see her, so I don’t talk about it. So sometimes I just take nights to look through all of our weird late night photos. I miss those days, as they were definitely the best days of my life. I’ve never laughed harder or been more the same with someone.
Remember that one time we were walking across Monroe park together. It was spring time or maybe early fall, but definitely during school, and I was soooooo happy! So happy with Jacob, and you and I were walking to the apartment. I had my best friend and a boyfriend that I was really happy with. And I told you that I was so scared, because since I was so happy, the only way I could go from there was down. Remember that day? I do.
And down I went. January 3rd 2016 was a terrible night. As was February 7th, 2016. The panick attacks I have affiliated with vomit is attached to you. As well as guilt I have for sex that shouldn’t have been had in times when I was taken advantage of. Both of those feelings are attached to you. And I wanted to have fun with you and just forget it, but those feelings would come back, in the middle of us having fun. They would come back when I would hear you talk with friends, or especially when I would hear you have sex with guys. The worst part, is those thoughts would come back for me and for Jake when we were trying to be intimate. Awful emotions that make me want to throw up, run away, scream, and that my heart will beat out of my chest or maybe just stop all together. And so I feel sad. I miss you. And even if Jake dies before me when we are old and I did try to get in contact with you then, I’m afraid that that feeling won’t ever go away.
That’s how I feel. But I miss what we had. Had I been stronger, maybe things could have gone differently. But that’s how it is as of now and for now on.
I dont know how to end this.
Thanks to anyone else to anyone else who may have read this. You are a champ.
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izloveshorses · 8 years ago
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Alrighty so while I’m thinking about it here’s basically every element from Beauty and the Beast that I adored
can I say how surreal it was to be in a theater packed with young girls of all ages wearing yellow dresses with their Belle barbies 
not to mention all the adults and people my age who’ve been singing Be Our Guest for eternity were all so excited 
it was almost like when The Force Awakens came out and Star Wars was alive again and everyone, old and new generations of fans, gathered together.... ya know what I’m talking about? where everyone in the room is buzzing with anticipation
the CGI wasn’t as terrible as y’all thought, y’all need to have a little faith sometimes lol
the casting was excellent!!
i know people have mixed feelings about Emma Watson playing Belle but I honestly wouldn’t have casted it any other way. She’s always been a women’s rights activist, a bookworm and a thinker, and a strong role model for young girls. and her favorite princess was always Belle I mean come on. and her singing voice was so incredible!! that was what I was most looking forward to in this movie and it did not disappoint
she also said in a buzzfeed interview that she imagines Belle would open the Beast’s library to the public and start a school!!! How rad is that?? HEADCANON ACCEPTED 
shout out to Dan Stevens for waltzing in 10 inch stilts while wearing a 40 pound body suit 
ok Luke Evans and Josh Gad must’ve thought they were in Dirty Dancing because they had the time of their lives
and Luke was pretty attractive. just sayin
overall, the cast was really diverse! not one but two interracial couples! and in general there were a lot of poc in the village featuring a wonderfully sweet librarian dude
Everything about Belle’s character was fantastic I’m not kidding
i think the town had such a consistent routine that she could precisely time when the morning rush started?
despite the village blatantly gossiping about her she was still so nice and polite to everyone
so??? much??? sass??? it was unreal??? When Gaston asked why she wouldn’t go out to dinner with him he assumed she had plans but she was just like “No...” and she didn’t even explain further how freakin savage she shot that boy down
(a few more examples bc this girl was on fire) “Why would I be startled? I’m talking to a candle” and “Is that a joke? are you making jokes now?” and my fav “’Maybe you just haven’t met the right man?’ ‘It’s a small village Gaston, I’ve met them all’”
this is Elizabeth Bennet level Jane Austen would be proud
they touched on how women were expected to have kids in their late teens/early 20s and she’s like “screw that” yeah girl smash that patriarchy
how on earth did it take me 17 years to realize she’s considered odd because she’s the only literate girl in the whole village???????? how did I, a history buff obsessed with the French Revolution, never make that connection before???? this isn’t specific to the new film but still I applaud it good job disney
she was an inventor!!! i don’t know if i’ve ever been happier than when i saw her solving equations and tinkering and making a washing machine so she can read and get chores done simultaneously. emma totally had something to do with this decision absolutely no doubt
she doesn’t ride her horse sidesaddle and that was like a huge faux pas for ladies back then (again, smashing the patriarchy one step at a time)
SHE WAS TEACHING ANOTHER SMOL GIRL HOW TO READ!!! THAT’S SO IMPORTANT AND PRECIOUS I’VE BEEN UNABLE TO THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE SINCE THAT MOMENT
she planned to escape the castle from the beginning and was really creative about it, and no matter what she always found some sort of weapon lying around lol (a random stick, a chair, a pitcher Belle what would you do with that) but she was always prepared to defend herself with somewhat of a plan and attempt at thinking ahead
She was really curious about the curse and asked questions about it to figure out this mystery herself
she was always problem-solving and trying to find a solution to situations and that was so cool girls need to see that strong female leads aren’t always the ones that can fight, but girls with wit and bravery
there was lots of nice background info on characters that otherwise wouldn’t exist, like Belle’s mom’s death, why Maurice chose to stay in that boring village and Adam’s dad being a jerk and turning him into a monster (no pun intended)
Mrs Potts giving us a reason why the entire castle was cursed, not just Adam. They didn’t do anything to stop Adam’s dad from corrupting him and man that’s some heavy stuff
I feel like each character, especially the servants, were so much richer and stronger and more complex, and the stakes were higher bc each time a rose petal fell they became less and less human
even the enchantress had a name and she was gorgeous?
they went pretty dark in this one... like something caused that tree to fall in Maurice’s path and back into an upright position. the wolves wouldn’t cross the gates because of some boundary. the way the whole castle shuddered with each drop of a pedal. i could go on... and the added character depth really helped that dark stuff too
THE MUSIC!!!! WAS SO GOOD!!! I’ve had the album on repeat for.... four days now and I’m not sick of it yet?? please send help
seriously, they did an amazing job. it was perfectly balanced w both old an new songs, and neither of them overshadowed the other. each song got it’s spotlight, they honored the old ones while including new original ones that were awesome (cough forevermore cough cough)
Gaaaaaastonnnnnnnnnnnn omg that sequence was awesome. honestly i think everyone in the theater tapped their foot when he was stomping and dancing on the tabletops
Belle was really good too to me because i’m a nerd for that set design
Days in the Sun is extremely underrated!! but yes, Forevermore is breathtaking it’s growing on me more and more each day
lots of rotating cinematography and spinning i’m a nerd i love it
the costume and set design.... holy crAP it’s stunning
i read somewhere that Belle’s casual getup has large pockets for her books and she has part of her skirt pinned up so she can ride Philipe easier and that’s beautiful
each scene was packed with tiny details that most movie makers overlook and I’m so impressed???? not just visually but there were so many sounds that truly made it feel real like in the village I’d occasionally hear a crying baby or a dog barking or just constant chatter and that’s stuff you’d expect to hear in a crowded village square
the little twinkling lights during the ballroom dance was probably my favorite i may have cried
No one ever say anything bad about Belle’s dress again IT WAS SO GORGEOUS it floated across the floor like a bundle of sunshine
and there were so many details in that scene? did anybody notice her gold earrings she wore they were wonderful
her hairstyles throughout the whole movie were so cute (esp at the end with that updo!! and that pretty flower dress I need it)
the historical accuracies??? unreal??
so much baroque architecture with all of the elaborate gold designs ahhh i love it
half of it looked like a rococo painting, the other half a neoclassicism painting
girls weren’t allowed to be educated so that’s why Belle was hated so much--and so cool--and ohhhh my mind is blown why did i not understand this until now
lol a giant chunk of France was illiterate at the time too so LeFou realizing that halfway through trying to spell Gaston was hilarious
actually the mob song in general is scarily accurate. what starts with a small discomfort turns into irrational fear which turns into extremism in crowds and they did the stupidest things like “hey there’s a monster that we’ve never seen or heard of and it’s never attacked us before but LETS KILL IT” seriously the French loved mobs
they included a lot more intimate moments w Belle and the Beast to build up their relationship more carefully 
Belle almost in tears when she was in that library because honestly same girl
my favorite moment in the entire movie, although small, was when they were in the library during “Something There” and she just kept grabbing book after book and he was walking behind her holding this massive stack that was so cute
honorable mentions: when the Beast shook his head like the horse omg. and I freaking cackled when he threw that giant snowball at her face
when they were in Paris, and Belle figured out that her mother died of the plague and she said “let’s go home”
she just rode off while still wearing her ball dress
“no time to change gotta go save my pa i’m keeping this btw”
and then she strips down to her undergarments because they’re about to go after Adam and that’s the final straw nobody messes with him under her watch she has to save him and, sorry, but she won’t let a big bulky dress get in the way of that despite how beautiful it is
Belle participated in the climax fight scene she was not taking any of Gaston’s crap
and then Adam was like “stay there I’m coming” and she completely ignored him so she could step in if he needed her
“I am not a Beast”
the transformation scenes were amazing
LeFou’s character arc was surprisingly great! and I support him and his boyfriend
that one growl at the end... you know the one... I’m very confused why was that so sexy is that bad
there were so many moments where i got goosebumps and sudden tears from the swelling of the orchestra or a certain chilling line and i was just so moved by this movie
in every showing that i went to there was a massive applause from the crowd and i love it you deserve it disney
I'm running out of adjectives
There was hardly an aspect that I disliked. Maybe more of Mrs Potts would’ve been nice, maybe Belle asking Adam to grow a beard was a little strange, maybe Ewan could work on his French accent a little more (don’t get me wrong I love this man but it could use a little more work... other than that his acting was superb). my complaints stop there! I honestly loved this film so much and I’d been pumped since I first heard about it back in 2015. It didn’t disappoint! that means a lot coming from a person who had insanely high expectations for it.
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