#and sometimes i just have to think hard about how to differentiate them from existing characters

[battle-of-alberta]

when i wrote the survey, Sherwood Park was my joke answer that I wasn't expecting anyone to actually vote for... so considering she nearly won the poll, i did a quick skim of the strathcona county site to get the Vibes as i tend to do and my god. I know I have a tendency towards confirmation bias but the fact they refer to their history with terms like potpurri~ and tidbits~ is absolutely confirming my biases hard tonight

[lilacstro]

What could end your relationship through your Venus sign

On the suggestions of @crystalsnshit and @majortomspacex under my post astro observation pt 6 I will be making this post :)

support me on ko-fi :)

How do we find this?

Count the 8th sign and house from your Venus placement and you should know how you could possibly be sabotaging your relationships. How do we do this?

Lets say you have a Sag Venus in 12th house, 8 houses, and 8 signs from there would be, Cancer and 7th house.

You should now be able to find this. Remember, it resonated for me, and people I did readings for. If this does not resonate with you, its ok :)

Combine both of these to be able to look into it :) I will however mention the Venus signs for each of them.

1st house/Aries (Venus in Virgo) Looking at your relationships from a self centered pov, in the sense, looking at things for what suits you, more than what could be better for both of you together, not making sacrifices or compromises your relationship might need. Feeling insecure about yourself/partner. Trying to fit things to fit your future or at the extreme opposite being giving to a fault, that you dont even realize but you are doing everything in a relationship for 2, all by yourself. Getting fierce. Starting to fast just to go crashing down, not being able to take things slow.

2nd house/Taurus (Venus in Libra) Not willing to change opinions, or thoughts about something. In the sense let's say, someone made a mistake and you may keep bringing it up over and over, still carrying resentment for it. Maybe you remember your partner as someone who used to wake up at 5 AM (just a random example lol) and now they dont, it might be hard for you to let go of old versions. Not willing to change old ways, not leaving/pointing things out and getting too comfortable. Could be getting caught up in the "show" (material wealth) at times.

3rd house/Gemini (Venus in Scorpio) Not being aware of what you're speaking and what you're delivering instead. Maybe passive aggressive/argumentative. Getting sarcastic. Not being able to experience "boredom" and wanting something to happen all the time. Being confused about what you really want. Not taking thing seriously when you probably should. Communication gap. Maybe thinking you/your person have too many choices. Trying to act the "unbothered" king/queen, you are not.

4th house/Cancer (Venus in Sagittarius) Attachment issues. Saying/taking actions high on emotions. Emotional instability. Some kind of attachment to nostalgia and how it used to be, which makes it hard for you to see that the person isnt the same anymore and you are probably in love with an old version of them that doesn't exist anymore. Tolerating/Giving silent treatment or isolating yourself within the relationship. Withdrawing. Trying to solve things alone for what should be solved together. Probably wanting to leave all the time but not doing so (attachment issues again). falling into the traps of innocence.

5th house/Leo (Venus in Capricorn) Wanting to be someone's 1st priority on a seemingly impossible level. Not being able to tolerate/express things normally and making it a big deal unknowingly. Getting bored when things seem normal. Could be feeling competitive to your own partner in some ways without realizing, hence building resentment. Anger management issues. Problems differentiating what is happening, and what am I feeling and what is actually real between both of them. Getting bossy at times probably without even realizing. Hyper independence issues at times. Wanting to show your partner off, but making them fit into something they probably aren't for the show.

6th house/Virgo (Venus in Aquarius) Trying to make meaning out of everything, being overcritical and judgmental of things. Trying to take every little thing seriously, getting hurt over small things. Getting used to how things should be "in a certain way" and not understanding sometimes, things aren't actually exactly like plan and order all the time. Picking small fights over things that weren't really important at times. Building frustration/insecurity under the surface. Being available/at service all times, to an unhealthy level.

7th house/Libra (Venus in Pisces) Probably being caught up sometimes in thoughts of "can i do better than this?", "i wonder what they think about my person". Getting caught up in the idea of status/reputation, forgetting that the real important thing is you being contended with your partner and not anyone else. Having this urge/thoughts that "am i settling for the less? should i see if i can do better. Comparing your relationship and your person and getting disappointed for bad reasons. Constantly wanting to choose/being indecisive over what you really want making your partner feel undervalued/underappreciated at times.

8th house/Scorpio (Venus in Aries) Overthinking. Being too attached to someone on a toxic level sometimes. Not opening up about your feelings and expectations and even worse, expecting that to be understood somehow without making it clear and feeling not understood/important when that does not happen and building resentment otherwise. Passive aggressive feelings. Feeling everything too deeply but being unable to talk about it. Fear of things being over so you just decide in your head let's end it already anyways, or you make subconscious choices like that without even realizing. Unwilling to let go/open up about past. Sometimes bearing things to an unhealthy level just for things to stay. Getting overly passionate that you even get blindsided.

9th house/Sagittarius (Venus in Taurus) Rose coloured glasses. Being optimistic about things when you actually should let go/discuss them clearly. Being on the surface, and feeling scared to dive deeper into the feels. Being afraid to feel your own feelings when you are uncomfortable about them. Projection problems. Going, "Oh i don't care" about things when you should probably discuss them. Problems confronting/being confronted. And again, when opening up, getting straight to the throat about things you have been wanting talk about. Sometimes thinking "oh i am just serving the truth" and "they/i can leave, doesnt quite matter" when it absolutely does but you just don't know yet. Wanting to leave/make decisions impulsively at every small discomfort.

10th house/Capricorn (Venus in Gemini) Overthinking things to a fault. Building a plan and expectation of how it should go and having problems when it doesn't quite go like that. Probably, embarrassment over your partners at times. Expecting them to act/behave in some certain way at times? not too sure about this one. Probably picking problems in your partner to a fault because you expect/want them to be perfect. This might come from a place of care, but this can actually get annoying at times making someone feel they aren't appreciated/enough for who they already are. Getting obsessive in a controlling way. Not giving enough thought to someone/someone's feelings and getting caught up at unnecessary places.

11th house/Aquarius (Venus in Cancer) Having no control over your thoughts and feelings regarding the other person. Maybe feeling one day you love them to moons but suddenly feeling you lost feelings the other day. Not being able to differentiate between what is your mood and your real feelings. Making sudden decisions about things, possibly at times without even needing to inform the other. Thinking you are being "nice, and kind and giving or sacrificing" by taking such decisions (probably thinking that if you ghost someone, even if it hurts you, you are doing them favor because they deserve better so technically you are the one in pain, even though you are making a dumb decision) but all while just hurting the other person to ends.

12th house/Pisces (Venus in Leo) Over idealizing your partner and then getting upset when it doesn't happen that way. Feeling disappointed. Having made up thoughts and delusions about something that doesn't probably exist, in both good and bad ways, hence being unable to see what actually is real. At times, this could also lead to misunderstandings at times. Making assumptions and not caring enough to clarify them. At times, ignoring what is real and problematic/makes you visibly uncomfortable just to have peace and your relationship, and getting crushed when in the end, the inevitable happens anyways.

I hope you resonated with this post, leave feedback/suggestions <33

i love you all

[writers-potion]

helloo! hope you’re having a good day ❤️ This might be a weird question but how should I choose my main character in a story? I usually get a general plot which doesn’t have the characters’ roles defined yet, and then I make the characters but I have trouble choosing who should be the main character, side character etc xd

Choosing the Right Character

Define the Plot Goal

Once you have a general plot, think about the lasting image you'd like your readers to take away. In other words, what's the moral/theme of the story?

If the story theme is "Love Wins All", your MC will be a cynic who realizes the importance of love.

If the story theme is "Hero Defeats Monsters", your MC will be someone who's willing to take risks, is loyal to friends, and is adventurous.

The plot is basically "what a character does in a story". Thus, you need to define clearly what you'd like to happen at the end - and choose a character who can plausibly deliver that ending.

Main Character - Character Development

Start off with your main character. What kind of character do we want? The specifics will differ story by story, but the general rules are:

They need to be capable of character development. At least in commercial fiction, the most attractive thing about an MC is their growth. This is because personal growth is so hard to achieve in real life, and readers want to feel satisfied as they watch their beloved MC achieve feats.

Are they relatable? In another words, your MC should have a mix of flaws and strengths. Not necessarily balanced, but (1) the combination must be plausible (not contradictory) and (2) it should make her relatable.

Make use of tropes. If you already have a plot, this should mean that there are going to be genre expectations. For a steamy romance, for example, readers are looking for a beautiful/handsome, good-at-heart heros who they can love vicariously through the other characters. You CAN write a romance with a genuinely ugly character, but it sure isn't going to be the next bestseller. Do some research into stories of your genre, and establish reader expectations to: (1) fulfill them or (2) subvert them appropriately for some fresh perspective.

Are they believable? Based on the time, location and culture of your story world, your MC must be believable in that they are someone who the readers can believe to have existed in such a background. This applies to fantasy characters, too.

Side Characters - Relationship to the MC

The most important thing to ask about side characters is: How do they serve the main character?

For sidekick/best friend characters: Make them immediately differentiable from the MC. Let them be supportive, having traits that can complement the MC.

For antagonists: Make them strong enough. They should be daunting to the MC, sometimes even stronger than them.

For 'guru' characters: Who is someone the MC can genuinely look up to? What kind of a teacher does your MC need - a caring guide or a tough coach?

Other side characters: What do they represent? Don't just make them stand-in puppets. How do their interactions/relationship with the MC stimulate him? Even if they don't do things directly with the MC, what the MC thinks about them/unconsciously 'learn' from them is important.

[millysastroblog]

🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄

SHAKING MY HEAD ASTRO NOTES PT.4

# unpopular opinion !!!!!

🤦🏾‍♀️Venus in Libra, Venus conjunct Mars, are u guys talking to me or flirting with me. Because HONEY it is hard to differentiate, with yall charming asses. You all make my heart and mind hurt , chile. #Stop it 😏😍!

🤦🏾‍♀️Moon/- Lilith hard aspects = sexsist in WORST CASE (extreme ,out of ordinary views on females, womanhood, and female roles)

or the complete opposite being a hard core (feminist) but bashing men for literally existing.🤥 ! # In Worst case ,have seen it in many ppl charts!!

🤦🏾‍♀️Jupiter in the 3rd talk aloooot to the point of making my ears hurt, like 1000 words in 1 min is to much for me girl! # chiiiiiiiillllew

🤦🏾‍♀️Uranus in the 11th switing friend groups every new season of the year. These are the friends that you wont see that much because of how unpredictable they are ! like can yall settle down for once and not flake on people!

🤦🏾‍♀️Same with Uranus in the 7th in parterships they come and go like the wind blowing !

🤦🏾‍♀️Cancers placements and their victimization complex,

🤦🏾‍♀️same goes for pisces placements !

🤦🏾‍♀️cancer mixed with libra not showing ppl that they dont like them at all, holding a lot of resentment, and anger towards people # babes this is not helathy!

🤦🏾‍♀️the award of the attention whore of the zodiac goes tooooooo leo and LIBRAAAAAAS

🤦🏾‍♀️libras can sometimes rely to much on other people to the point of codependence! Wanting their friends partners pick and choose everything for them # i aint your mama babes!

🤦🏾‍♀️Opposite goes for Aries and Taurus placemenrs SUPER independent avoiding and rejecting help from others. #Hating to ask People for shit!

🤦🏾‍♀️Aquarius placements and their sometimes ultimate, god complex, wider than the univers EGOS , everytihing i say is and must be right (mixed with gemini, virgo, or mercury dominance) , get on my motherfucking nerves# somebody needs to check yall asses 🙄 !

🤦🏾‍♀️mars - uranus/mars- jupiter harsh aspects men are so fucking reckless , two steps away of putting yourself in a sticky situations #be carful, dont be breaking no windows, doors and unless u want to go to jail,

🤦🏾‍♀️12th house stelliums/Pisces Stelliums not living in the Moment at all. These are people u gotta call their names 5 times until they´ll catch up and wake up from lala land!# Practincing midfullness might solve the maladaptive day dreaming, # i suffer from ths shit to !! 🫤

🤦🏾‍♀️Virgos having this inner need to be perfect, babes u are fine just the way u are !!

🤦🏾‍♀️Down side of their internal perfectionism is that they mirror that back on to others. Being very critical and nitpicky about the smallest things !

🤦🏾‍♀️Lilith in the 5th/ Leo are over board scary party animals 🤠☠️ literally wanting to party and be drunk every fucking day #yall need to slow down and chiiiiiiiiillle

🤦🏾‍♀️Saturn in the 5th you guys despise children. Children for them are these scary little monsters !

🤦🏾‍♀️Venus sqaure Uranus/ Jupiter, Jupiter / Uranus in the 7th have or had a lot of suitors, relationships but sometimes they take them for granted, not taking them seriously because they have lots of options, Thinking it is all games ! # LUST before actual LOVE ! #beginning stages, # underdeveloped

🤦🏾‍♀️Venus- Mercury are dangerous charming motherfuckers hyponotizing you with their words, can use this power to take advantage of other people if not evolved, like manipulating, scamming, lying especially with Pluto and neptune prominence in Chart # siren voices 🔊

🤦🏾‍♀️Chiron in the 1st house, Chiron - ASC hard aspects are prone to pay a lot of attention to the physical appearance of others . Like having a pimple, thin hair, etc, theyll analyze your whole body and you wonder WHY??? # mmmmmhh, y’all guess? 🤔😐

🤦🏾‍♀️DARK: Mars in the 10th, Lilith in the 10, Pluto in the 10th, Neptune in the 10th, Chiron in the 10th, 10th house stellium if afflicted might be addicted to fame, success and high social status, selling their souls/ authenticity, exploiting other ppl, doing the most random insane shit , only for them to be at the top. #power greed, politicians, social media, celebrities!!

———————————————————————----------------------

*******{NEW ! ⬇️} Solar Return Chart Series: PT. 1/PT.2 *******

SHAKING MY HEAD PT.5/SHAKING MY HEAD PT.3/ SHAKING MY HEAD PT.2 / SHAKING MY HEAD PT.1

[nonsensical-raw-material]

Only goyim seem to try to invalidate my Jewishness.

And it's like they think they're doing me a favor. Like "sure you say you're one of THEM but don't worry we can tell"

I live in a semi-rural part of the south. With my synagogue being well into an hour away and having to cross state lines. There is not a Jewish community in the town I live. Wearing my Magen David I've heard people whispering wondering what an Israli is doing in rural America rather than guess Jewish people exist.

It's not hard to tell I'm a convert from the way I talk. My life is very interfaith because so are the people in it. My kind of adoptive family gifted me a gorgeous mezuzah necklace. And when I don't work Sundays sometimes I'll go to church with them to hear my bonus father figure preach. I still participate in my own family's christmas celebrations because to us it's always been secular. I may have a few more reservations about singing songs that speak of Jesus as divine. In the same direction one of best friends who is Christian and who's father preaches when I can't get to synagogue always makes sure I have someone to share the Purim story with. The same friend celebrated Chanukah with me and learned how to make Latkes.

And with all the issues that come with "looking Jewish" despite the fact there is no real way to look Jewish. My name isn't Jewish enough for goyim. Why is my hair blonde? Why isn't my nose bigger? Why are my eyes light? Why don't I fit the antisemitic character in their head? How can I be ethnically German and Jewish at the same time? Man oh man I must really be confused and hate myself.

"OH so you're just Jew....ISH"

Then when I explain how within our community we don't differentiate the convert. A Jew is a Jew is a Jew is a JEW. I explain the story of all our souls accepting Torah at Sinai. How I love my community and for once in my life I felt at home somewhere. And I get looked at like I'm crazy.

Maybe I'm lucky but I have yet to experience any type of differentiation within my community. I've been taken in lovingly and met with open arms. But it's always so crazy to me how I've never had my fellow Jew try to take away my Jewishness. If anything they constantly reaffirm it. I've never been mocked or ridiculed or less valued.

Goyim on the other hand will ask me questions on Torah. Especially Christians on the topic of mitzvot. Acting with superiority "Oh why would you follow that stupid law? We don't, don't you feel stupid choosing to miss out?" Its like an 'gotcha' moment but only for them.

I just wonder if you claim to love G-d why do you see tasks for them as hardship? I suppose it's a cultural difference. We see our laws as blessings and other see them as obligations. I don't live in a society where the religion and culture I've been adopted into is the default. There is an active decision made in being Jewish every single day of my life. But for them they get to be the default. No question goes into what they practice because that's just 'what you do'

[practicedvmm13fullofpotatoes]

Things in The Neighbor's Under the Bed that drive me insane

(WARNING: IT'S A REALLY LONG POST FOR SOME REASON. CONTINUE IF YOU DARE)

Mark said "They beat us 7-nil", implying that Abigail was also a Raccoon. So. Both of them are retired Raccoon City players but Mark cares about football and getting back at Johnny and Janae's father. Abigail loves the guy enough to let him do his plans, occasionally helping him (like with the tunnel thing) but she doesn't obsess over football like he does

"A nipple a day keeps the Rangers at bay!" "That's what we've got on our house crest" I know all of these things are supposed to be for comedic purposes but that implies that Abigail's been doing the nipple thing since the Raccoons lost to the Rangers (hell, she could have also been doing it before they lost to the Rangers but I don't think she'd have the need to do that unless conspiring with Mark to get back at the Rangers)

THE ADDAMS JUST HAVE A BLUEPRINT OF THE EVANS' HOUSE. WHAT??

"We love you too, Dad!" Janae, that is your mother--

"Don't hit your brother anymore, that's not very nice okay?" "I try to but the night terrors" This is Janae responding. I can't tell if this is because Janae has nightmares and is hitting Johnny in their sleep or if Janae hits Johnny to wake him up from a really nasty future dream

Johnny coming out of nowhere while Martha was already telling the boys goodnight and her not knowing that he wasn't in the room shows how neglectful of a mother she is. Sure, she comforts him but also tells him to "shut up" and to "stop being weird".

"Yes, Johnny, that's the one" WHY DID JANAE HAVE TO CONFIRM THAT THEIR MOTHER WAS RIGHT WITH WHAT THEIR OLDER BROTHER'S NAME IS??

"I did say that he was my older brother. But he's emotionally less mature" This is definitely to clarify to the audience but I'm taking this as Janae knowing that their mother can't differentiate them sometimes.

"What do you mean you had another one of your future dreams?" SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT. AND THIS IS A REGULAR OCCURRENCE, MIND YOU. SHE DOESN'T LISTEN TO HIM WHEN HE'S TALKING ABOUT HIS FUTURE DREAMS!! HE LITERALLY HAD TO EXPLAIN WHAT HIS FUTURE DREAMS WERE

"I'll try but I do have to finish the Oxford curriculum" Implies they're in school and then Tom throws the next line "Because, you know I'm lecturing in the morning" which throws my previous idea out the window. JANAE LECTURES AT OXFORD?? JANAE FUCKING GRADUATED AND TEACHES AT OXFORD??

"I dreamed a man came out from under my bed :(" I mean, sure, it's technically correct but not exactly correct?? Which implies that Johnny either has 80% accurate future dreams or his dreams come from another perspective sometimes??

"But sometimes they come true, mommy!" SOMETIMES?? SO THEY DON'T ALWAYS COME TRUE?? I MEAN. OKAY

"It's okay, I'm familiar with the carnal act" what has this eight-year-old seen....

"My seis-- my seismogram" Tom was blanking on what it was called but yes, a seismogram exists (I saw it on my exam. But now I'm starting to think that an 8 year old just recently invented it)

"It's not true" IMMEDIATELY TOLD HER CHILD THAT IT ISN'T REAL. DOES SHE CARE ABOUT HER CHILDREN? PROBABLY NOT

"If it was true, it would be called a seismoGRAPH" BOTH OF THEM SHUT JANAE DOWN. WHAT?? GUYS. HEAR 'EM OUT. COME ON

"I said I made it myself, it's something new, father!" NEITHER OF JANAE'S PARENTS WOULD LISTEN TO THEM. ALSO, THE EMPHASIS ON "FATHER" IMPLIES JANAE DOESN'T LIKE THEIR FATHER MUCH

"I know where he gets his power. I have to sleep with his wife" THIS IS LIKE THE MEME. ["I'VE CONNECTED THE TWO DOTS" "YOU DIDN'T CONNECT SHIT" "I'VE CONNECTED THEM"] NO BUT WHERE THE FUCK DID HE GET THIS IDEA I'M SOBBING SO HARD

"ENGORGE HIM AND HAVE HIM ENTE-- no wait-- ENGORGE HER AND HAVE YOURSELF ENTER HER" TOM WAS READY TO MAKE THIS GAY. I LOVE THAT

"It'll just be me and the boys--" "No, me and the boys" THEIR FATHER IS TOO FIXATED WITH FOOTBALL THAT HE DOESN'T EVEN CONSIDER HIS CHILDREN

"Tasting menu" "Expensive.." THIS ISN'T REALLY RELATED TO THE LORE I'M TRYING TO MAKE FOR NEIGHBOUR'S BUT THIS IS HILARIOUS

The nod to Luke before patting the chair. Again, not related to lore but I love this moment

AJ going to drink in the background until Luke spoke. Took a moment to pause because that was definitely not what Johnny sounded like previously (not related. again)

"We had a different daddy. Our daddy was not our daddy it was the neighbaah :(" Okay so going back to Johnny's future dreams, they aren't 100% accurate to what actually happens but rather a caricature of it?? Dreams don't always make sense in real life, so Johnny's future dreams being a bit exaggerated makes sense kind of??

"WHY ARE THEY DOING IT IN THE RECORDING STUDIO WITH ALL THE MICS ON?!" THEY HAVE A WHAT IN THEIR HOUSE? THEY HAVE A RECORDING STUDIO???

"I was going to suggest a fire but okay!" JANAE IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT THAT A FIRE WAS THE BEST WAY TO SOLVE THIS. THEY MAY BE BOOK SMART BUT THEY'RE A LITTLE BIT FUCKED UP IN THE HEAD. JOHNNY, THE ONE WHO GOES MORE ON EMOTION RATHER THAN GENUINELY THINKING, WAS THE ONE WHO HAD A RATIONAL IDEA. CALLING THEIR DAD WAS DEFINITELY THE BETTER IDEA. AND THEN HE JUST AGREES WHEN JANAE SUGGESTED A FIRE. YEAH, NO, NEVERMIND THEY'RE BOTH A BIT FUCKED UP (then again, younger children have wild imaginations. Janae might be intelligent but that doesn't mean they're not a kid. Hell, their boosted iq may or may not have aided with the fucked up ideas they might have)

Janae just being a news anchor/football announcer in a normal speed while Jack and Mark are in slow mo. Why is that? To make it a bit more dramatic? Because it's a slow mo playback? Huh??

"I'll be seeking forced adoption for myself and my older brother" GOOD BECAUSE BOTH OF THEIR PARENTS ARE NEGLECTFUL. THEY DESERVE TO LIVE IN A BETTER HOME, GODDAMN IT

Tl;dr: This play is insane and these two kids need a family that actually care about their interests and don't shut them down/force them to play football

[musicalmoritz]

Why does tsukasa seem to not care much about himself?

I had a hard time figuring out what you meant by this because to be honest, I don’t focus on the Yugi twins as much as some of the other characters. I still try to read analyses on them and understand them, and I have been talking a lot abt Tsukasa lately, but I haven’t rly grasped their characterization as quickly as I did with some of the others

However, after giving it some thought I believe you’re referring to scenes like these

If this is what you mean, then the explanation is that Tsukasa simply doesn’t want to exist. He is a yorishiro and existence for them is essentially hell, just look at what Sumire went through being stuck in a time loop for 100 years. It is not a reach to assume Tsukasa went through something similar, seeing as he alludes to being trapped in a place before escaping near the start of the series when we first meet him. He reached out to Hanako for years, but Hanako never answered any of his calls. So Tsukasa wanting to be destroyed isn’t really out of any self-sacrificial nature, it would be a peaceful ending for him. He’d be able to move onto the afterlife, or otherwise accomplish any conniving goals he might have with the entity (idk as I said, not a Yugi twins expert)

He views Hanako as selfish for wanting to hold onto the people he loves at the expense of their wellbeing. Part of Nene’e fate is to die young, it’s sad but that is the natural path her life is meant to follow. She herself even tries to come to terms with this and make peace with it, but Hanako won’t let her. He loves her, so he wants her to live a long and happy life. This is completely understandable, but it is also selfish. It is part of human nature to be selfish, and part of Hanako will always be tied to the human boy he once was. Selfishness isn’t always bad, sometimes it’s necessary. But from’s Tsukasa’s perspective, Hanako is robbing Nene of an escape

Tsukasa makes this a personal issue because Hanako treats him the same way. It would be objectively better and more natural for him to let Tsukasa go, especially if the theories abt him killing Tsukasa to free him from the entity are true. That is what Tsukasa wants, to be free, to no longer be a yorishiro. But Hanako is selfish, and he loves Tsukasa too much to grant him freedom

Now, if you’re talking about Tsukasa’s lack of self-care in regards to Hanako “hating” him, that’s a bit different

Tsukasa seems to conceptualize relationships in a very black and white way. You either love someone, or you hate them. He’s interested mainly in how other people feel and react to things, so he’s constantly asking them how they feel about others. I don’t think he differentiates much between platonic love and romantic, it is simply “love vs. hate” to him. The two are opposites and cannot intersect

The most genuine statement I could possibly make about Tsukasa is that he loves his brother. Both versions of him, no matter how you interpret his current existence. The possessed Tsukasa we know now is the one who grew up with Amane, he spent ten years of his life with him whilst Baby Tsukasa only knew Amane for three. Ofc that was still his brother so time isn’t rly relevant to how much love/attachment Amane still holds for the original version of Tsukasa, but that doesn’t change the fact that the brother he knew for most of his life was the possessed Tsukasa. They shared holidays and birthdays together, lived together, walked to school together every single day. Through and through, they are brothers and it would be impossible for Hanako not to see him that way, even if he claims not to. It must be a complicated situation for him, on one hand he grew up with this Tsukasa but on the other he blames this Tsukasa for the old one’s disappearance

Back to how Tsukasa feels, he loves Amane fully. He does describe them as rivals, so I would say the feelings are complex on his end as well, but overall he loves his brother. He loves his brother so much that he doesn’t care if Amane hates him. And he must, he threw him across the room once when they were kids when Tsukasa was bothering him. He knew something was off when Tsukasa returned, and his attitude towards him likely reflected that throughout the 10 years they spent together. He killed him, he freezes up when he sees him, he consistently sides against him. For a character that views love in black and white terms, that sure looks a lot like hate. He recognizes that Amane is sad without him, but he also understands that Amane hates him. At least, from Tsukasa’s perspective, that’s what it looks like

But Tsukasa’s love for Amane is unconditional, he doesn’t really care if Amane hates or loves him. Baby Tsukasa says he wants Amane to be an astronaut with their parents, somewhere far away from him so Tsukasa can never make him upset. He believes Amane hates him, but he doesn’t care as long as Amane is happy. That’s all he wants, for Amane to be happy. His brother is the most important person to him, as long as Amane is happy he doesn’t care what happens to himself. Until it reaches a breaking point ofc, and Tsukasa realizes that the best situation for everyone would be for him to disappear

I’m pulling a lot of this out of my ass so I apologize if I got any information incorrect! Also just to be clear I don’t mind being asked about the Yugi twins at all, people were asking me a lot about Tsukasa yesterday so I get why the questions keep coming. Just beware that I am a self-proclaimed Not Expert lol. I do plan to look more into them whenever I start that series of character analyses tho so stay tuned for that

[beanghostprincess]

thinking about that one sbs from volume 45 where oda was like "all devil fruits got the swirls, that's what differentiates them from regular fruits. sometimes i wonder if sanji is a devil fruit too" and that theory that j*dge tried to give his children/supersoldiers df powers without the drawbacks and of how the poison sora took could have made this glitch

thinking about sanji, one of the fastest swimmers in the crew and of the df user rescuers, slowly losing his ability to swim with his mutation progressing

at first, between his first use of the raid suit and the onigashima raid, it's barely noticeable, just becoming tired a bit faster than usual, nothing much

after onigashima, with the exoskeleton existing, it becoming more and more exhausting to swim and rescue the drowning crewmates, the swimming being slower than it used to

by the time the straw hats find the all blue, sanji can only spend a couple minutes at the time actively swimming or diving before it becomes too hard to do anything more than float with minimal movement

it never progresses to "immediately drowning and being dragged down" but sanji is distressed about losing one of the ways he could be useful (he knows that he doesn't need to be useful to belong with the crew, but, knowing and feeling are two different things) and about not being able to dive into the all blue and see all the fish up close

As Sanji fans, how do we always find ways to make him suffer? Now I can't stop thinking about him wanting to swim in the All Blue and not being able to-- His whole persona is about reliability and how he insists on helping others constantly. And it might not be a big deal because others can still save the ones with Devil Fruits when drowning, but he still feels useless like this. Please somebody sedate me.

[hacked-by-jake]

I thought about a little some some. Even though I doubt it myself a bit.

So, some people criticised that Moonvale feels less real than Duskwood did. (I don't mean like with the mini games etc.)

But in general the feeling. Also with the AI art and stuff. And I don't want to excuse the AI art, of course not)

Here my thought.

Maybe that wasn't "bad" work but somehow a way to protect younger fans. If you follow Everbyte on Instagram and you check the comments from time to time, you will also find very young people. Which is not the problem. The problem is, that many of them are not able to differentiate between between game and reality. Many younger fans seem not to understand that Duskwood is only a game.

Doesn't really sound like a huge thing now but it is. I saw comments so out of reality, it was really scary. And it's also very dangerous.

Of course they were commenting on Instagram so it should be clear it's just a game, but some of them do not really understand. And even if they do, they're attached to the characters in a way that is very unhealthy. And I say this as someone who's dealing with that behaviour myself. But I can confidently say that I can keep it apart and I know that Jake is not a real person.

But some people can't. And I do believe that Duskwood felt absolutely real. It is hard and you really tend to forget it's just a game. Especially the newer episodes make it hard. Which is usually a great thing because it means that Everbyte did a good job.

And sure, it's not Everbytes responsibility to keep an eye on younger people and to make sure it's not getting out of hand. It's a thing parents should take care of. But we were all younger and we all know that this is almost impossible. No child wants to give their phone to their parents to get it checked. So many parents don't do it. And even if, we all had secrets and were hiding things from your parents.

And I think, if you want or not, somehow you care about it as devolper etc.

And also a little story time, which is one reason why I came up with it and also a good example for that I mean.

For a long time, people always thought I'm the real Jake. And that's not a joke. I always had a disclaimer in my description, some of you might remember it. And sometimes people write to me, thinking I was the real Jake.

And one day, this happened:

I've got similar messages before. But none of them were this scary to me. I was completely shocked. And I was mad. I mean, I highly suspect this person was really young. And now imagine I would have been some weird guy saying yes. And especially, we're talking about adult characters.. Another thing.

So, this was just to show you what exactly I mean and how extremely this can be.

So maybe they made it a bit less real for younger people.

I don’t know if they even think about that. As I said, I don't really think it's like that, but it crossed my mind and I wanted to let it out.

And even if this might be absolute nonsense, that this is the reason Everbyte changed some things, it can’t hurt to point out that these young people exist. And how unhealthy that is.

[good-to-drive]

what do you admire about each beatle?

I love this question!!! I think it's easy to experience the recognition of pain or maladaptive schemas as something like pity (or even an inherent criticism, if you're in the "nice people have nice feelings" camp), so it's good to reaffirm sometimes that people can struggle and still be admirable and that admirable people often struggle.

For the moment I want to set aside the fact that they were all immensely talented and successful because, as much as I do admire that, I think it probably goes without saying. Rather, I want to focus on what I find admirable on a personal level.

JOHN

With John, I think it's his high level of insight. Not just insightful in the normal sense -- although that's very true, too -- but insightful in the psychological sense.

“[Insight] encompasses at least three fundamental characteristics: the awareness of suffering from an illness, an understanding of the cause and source of this suffering, and an acknowledgment of the need for treatment.” via Harvard Review of Psychiatry

I know on the surface this might sound bland, but it's really, really not. It's hard to describe how significant it is to be able to say "I'm in a state of distress but I'm not going to shoot my mouth off because I know later I won't be" when you're actively reliving a childhood trauma, or "I was afraid of the fag in me" to describe his treatment of homosexual men, or "I beat my wife because I felt a need to control her," but suffice to say the average person won't achieve that level of self-insight, honesty, or emotional differentiation after years of therapy.

In a sense, insight is the ability to exist inside of a deeply distorted, deeply painful reality and realize that reality has been distorted and your perceptions cannot be trusted. It comes from a willingness to face your pain and do the horrible fucking work of untangling it, and John was so immensely dedicated to that work, even when the right methods may not have been accessible or even in existence.

I know the presentism in our perceptions of mental illness gives rise to stupid ideas like "if he really wanted to get better he would have," but the truth is it's so powerful to be faced with a severe illness that is hurting you and everyone around you and keep fighting it even when it's apparently hopeless. Most people don't do that.

PAUL

I'm having trouble finding the right word for the quality I most admire, but I think it might be "force of will."

An example would be pushing the beatles to keep going even after everyone else was starting to lose interest (we know via Ringo that we wouldn't have the last few albums without Paul), which is obviously an expression of work ethic and determination and commitment, but there's another quality there, too, that manifests in so many ways throughout his entire life. It's almost a kind of confidence, but not really, because I think we can fairly say that Paul had a lot insecurity, too.

Rather, I think it's the seed of belief necessary to pursue any creative field or ambitious project -- not so much that you always think you're going to succeed, but that part of you believes that it's possible and that you deserve it. People joke about Paul not being self-aware, but self-awareness is not a universally good thing, and part of the counterpoint to self-awareness is the ability to pursue your dreams. The courage to want things that you might never get, and to believe that you deserve them. Without that, you're not getting anywhere.

There's an expression that there's a day you're born and a day you find out why you were born, but I'd add the caveat that figuring out why you were born is meaningless unless you have the guts to do something about it. And Paul definitely had guts.

GEORGE

This is another quality that's a bit hard to describe, but I think what I'm trying to articulate is the act of reaching out to other people and creating points of connection. Or, the desire and courage to do so.

Obviously there are stories about how empathetic he was, such a good listener, compassionate, interested in other people, etc. But I think this quality also manifests in how widely and deeply loved he was by his contemporaries, how forming long-lasting friendships and then doing the work to maintain those friendships was such a defining aspect of his life. How he seemed happy to have intense relationships with others as an equal or as a student, not just as their boss or idol. He genuinely wanted to connect to people on an individual level, as peers, and to support them and be supported.

There's also a conversation to be had about how earnest he was about his beliefs, which I know some people find cringey or even didactic, but you could also argue that earnestly expressing what you believe without indirection or plausible deniability is a very sincere bid for connection. Earnestness opens you up to mockery and fault-finding, and a lot of people absolutely find it off-putting, but it's also the only real cure for isolation. And it seems clear that George did not want to be isolated, he wanted to experience sincere connections with the people and the world around him.

There's also probably a conversation to be had about humor as a bid for connection, and how his tendency to take himself lightly is more an extension of that earnestness than a counterpoint to it, but that's a discussion for another day.

RINGO

I know people often admire his level-headedness and his patience -- and it's true that he's almost superhuman in that respect -- but, to be honest, I think that may partly be an expression of Ringo's addictive personality and emotionally neglectful childhood which arguably put him in a position of being extremely distanced from his own emotions/needs. Not that I don't think it's impressive to be able to absorb nearly infinite distress, but I don't necessarily admire it.

Rather, what's more admirable to me is his capacity for change.

I always find him the most relatable, not so much because I find him similar to myself (though that's also true), but because he's such a typical Male Figure in my social context. He's a total stand-up guy who would give you the shirt off his back and then turn around and be, by his own account, absolutely horrible to his wife and children. Which is a bizarre contrast, but also a very common one, and in a way I think that perceived normalcy makes him feel almost touchable to a lot of us. Like he of all the beatles actually existed in the real world, or at least in a world that exists for us as well.

I also think the sheer normalcy of "nice guy who's not so nice to his family when he's been drinking" creates the illusion that he's not worth exploring and that's why so many people ignore him in their quest to understand the group, but that's also a conversation for another day.

What's sort of profound and incredible about him, though, isn't existing in the real world but changing his world. Moving from someone deeply familiar, close enough to touch, to someone untouchable but inspiring. What I'm saying is that he got sober after decades of heavy drinking and, apparently, has stayed sober for thirty years. Which seems to heavily imply that he likes being alive more than he likes being numb, which is a major accomplishment for anyone with an addictive personality.

It's like he started here on earth with the rest of us, and then stepped through a portal into a different reality, and ceased to be at all touchable or real but instead became aspirational, or happy. It makes it seem like that aspirational, untouchable world could become touchable to all of us, too. Like it's not our inherent nature that makes us happy, not the world we're in right now, but the capacity to change our world by changing ourselves.

[roseaesynstylae]

Star Wars: Republic Commando: Triple Zero, Chapters 3 & 4

Chapter 3

"So she did what she had been drilled to do without thinking since she was four years old. She fought."

It can be hard, sometimes, to differentiate what is what in this series. For example, Jedi-bashing or just general stupidity (either on the character or the author's part)? It's hard to tell. But, given these books' track record, I'm going to err on the side of cautiousness and give this a point.

Jedi-Bashing: 5

Because the phrase "without thinking" makes me think of brainwashing and certain anti-Jedi arguments. Am I jumping to conclusions? Maybe. Has this series given me any reason not to? No.

"It was another reason why Ordo adored his sergeant: he was the archetypal Mando'ad. A Mandalorian man's ideal was to be the firm but loving father, the respectful son learning from every hard experience, the warrior loyal to constant personal principles rather than ever-changing governments and flags.

He also knew when to apologize."

That adoration is screwing you, Ordo.

Also, if Kal Skirata is the ideal of a traditional Mandalorian, then Satine's reforms were both entirely justified and did not go far enough.

Chapter 4

"'--but you'll probably have help sooner, because Delta Squad are in transit.'

'Oh, we'll never hear the last of this...'

'You haven't met them yet, son.'

'Heard enough.'

'Rough, rude boys,' Fi said. 'And rather full of themselves.'"

Out of all the characters in this series, Delta Squad have the most right to be full of themselves.

Deltas, Move Out: 1

"The image that shimmered before he showed one man in a familiar suit of Katarn armor, squatting with a DC-17 across his thighs. The blue light distorted natural color, but the dark patches on his armor suggested red or orange identity markings.

'RC-one-one-three-eight, General, receiving.'

It was time for names. 'You're Boss.'"

THEY'RE HERE!!!!!

Deltas, Move Out: 2

"'Boss receiving. Sorry, we had to stop and ask for directions.' He had a voice very like Atin's but with a stronger accent. 'My boys are now going to show you how to do an extraction properly, so take notes because you might blink and miss it. There's a Sep ship with missiles up the sprout about three minutes behind us.'

'Can we bring some friends?'

'The more the merrier. We're going to align with your cockpit, slap an isolation seal on the viewport, and Scorch will cut through. Then you shift it fast, and we RV with Fearless for caf, cakes, and hero worship. Got it?"

You are magnificent.

Deltas, Move Out: 3

"Fi eased off his helmet and inhaled fresh air. Except for Scorch, they had all taken off their helmets. Delta was one of fewer than a dozen squads that had survived intact since decanting, a true pod as the Kaminoans called it, and they seemed to think that made them an elite within an elite. They had been raised and trained together, and they had never fought with anyone but their brothers. It was a luxury few enjoyed."

They are an elite within an elite. And they improve this book drastically with their mere existence.

Deltas, Move Out: 4

Jedi-Bashing: 5

Mando-Shilling: 1

It's a Man's World: 1

Shut the Fuck Up, Kal: 1

Deltas, Move Out: 4

Mird, My Beloved: 0

Is This The Bad Batch?: 2

Main Post

I'm going to go back to obsessing over the High Republic now.

[gettothestabbing]

Only children vs. siblings

FIGHT!

Kidding, kidding. So my crush/friend is an only child. He was a miracle baby for his parents. I am an older sister, only about 15 months older, and I'm very close to my sister. But that doesn't mean I put her on a pedestal. She definitely annoys or hurts me sometimes.

I have of course mentioned her in conversation several times. And my crush, after hesitating to ask for a moment, asked me if I resented her.

The honest answer is sometimes, but the nuanced answer is no. Because of course I resent her sometimes. I think I've resented most people I've known at some point, if only briefly. And it would be stupid to pretend I haven't resented her at least for having things I want or for not being as grateful for those things since she's used to having them. If I pretend the resentment doesn't exist, I don't solve it, I create a secondary problem in a shell around the first.

So I explained this briefly to him. That yes I sometimes resented her, but much more importantly, I loved her, and the love went far, far deeper than the resentment. Love always overcomes it.

I wondered why he didn't seem to believe me, but then I remembered, he has no siblings. Having cousins is similar, but not really the same. A sibling is someone you share most of your childhood with. They know how your parents really were. They know what it was like to grow up in that specific house. They remember things you both do (and don't) about your personalities as children. This shared experience and its shared memory is what differentiates a sibling bond from that between friends or cousins or parents to their kids.

And I just felt really sad for kids who don't have any siblings. Because it's hard enough to go through a parent's illness or passing with a sibling. But to be the only person left to remember your childhood the way it really was? No one to compare notes with or laugh about it again? That's hard stuff. He's lost his father and gotten divorced this year. I wish he had more people to lean on. Though I'm happy to be one of them.

(It's terrible though because I might have gotten him sick on accident when he visited to help me with a freezer thing the other day. Now we're BOTH home sick from work.)

I can't wait until we can hang out again. I'm probably going to be making a nuisance of myself at his house while my kitchen gets fixed. Making cookies and meal prepping in his kitchen because whoops, you live closest to me, what a coincidence!

[the-iron-shoulder]

back on my bullshit: bandura edition

[image description: three photos of a poorly made Ukrainian bandura, which is a stringed instrument in the zither family. It is shaped kind of like the lowercase letter “b” and has strings stretched across its entire length. On this one, the bridges are made out of a bunch of little pieces of varying sizes, which is not standard. It has a very messy appearance. End description.]

so back in 2022 I found out that the bandura exists (I don’t have any Ukrainian heritage or connection afaik, but I read an article about it in a mega old newsletter and it was a whole story that I’ll tell some other time) and I became obsessed with the idea of making one. It was the second woodworking project I’d ever tried and, while I think I did pretty well considering my lack of tools and lack of experience, it never actually turned into something I was happy with. I mean, compare what a professionally made one looks like:

[image description: a professionally made Bandura, which looks very different from the amateur one above. End description.] image credit: Julianhayda, Wikimedia commons, CC-By-SA

big difference. Also, beyond the aesthetics, it just wasn’t playable… the lower strings were sometimes okay, but the higher strings never resonated and just sounded dead, when they weren’t just slipping off the bridges in the first place. Also, the string placement wasn’t very good and it was hard to physically reach a lot of the higher strings. That’s why you’ve never heard me post a recording of me playing this thing… it doesn’t really work!

I’ve got some better tools now, specifically a router, so I’m hoping that I can redo the bridges on this bad boy and actually turn it into something functional!

so normally, many banduras are diatonic (like the white keys on a piano with no black keys), but I don’t like that because I want to be able to play any arbitrary video game music song I want on it, not just songs that don’t have chromatic notes in them. So what I tried to do (which didn’t work, to be clear) was to have each individual little bridge be a high bridge or a low bridge so that the strings would be at an angle, with the idea being that the natural notes (“white keys”) would be raised near the top of the instrument and the accidentals (sharps and flats, “black keys”) would be raised near the bottom of the instrument, thereby theoretically making it easier to tell by touch where each note is.

I think that this can still work! But instead of making the bridges out of a million little triangles, I’m going to try to make them solid pieces (two of the bridges on the existing instrument are kind of like that), but differently from how I did it last time. First, I’m going to simply make them taller, so there can be a bigger differentiation between a string’s “up” position and its “down” position. That might help them feel a little less crowded, maybe? Also instead of trying to use a drill press to punch holes in the bridge for the “down” portion, I’m going to try to use a router to carve a groove through it, leaving some posts for support. I’m also thinking that the router will let me make a more consistent point at the top of each of these, so there will hopefully be a good spot for the strings to sit and so they might not slip as much? I’ll still probably need to file little notches in for them to sit in, but one thing at a time, I guess.

I still don’t actually know what I’m doing! This may end up as a monument to my failure! We’ll find out!!

[davekat-sucks]

"Fun fact" Anon here!

Wow you misunderstood what I was saying so much it's actually kind of impressive. No prob tho, I'd just like to clarify by explaining a bit slower, because I do think the whole thing is fun. In case it needs to be said, my initial ask was partially a response to this anon:

"Idk if this is an unpopular opinion but it annoys me when trolls use the word gay or any kind of LGBT-type language when none of the have a historical or societal context of any of those concepts or words, they think the distinction of sexualities is silly, they wouldn't understand using gay as an insult or a term of endearment, fucking stop it."

What I was saying is that this anon is both right and wrong. Because of a flaw in homestuck's writing, it ends up contradicting itself in such a way that Alternia is implied to have at least the concepts of distinct sexualities one moment, and then not have them the next. I consider that a "fun fact" because sometimes it's fun peeking behind the curtain of how things are written. Like knowing how Tolkien's misspelling of dwarfs as dwarves resulted in the ability to copyright the misspelling. Mistakes happen, and then they result in a distinct identity.

I think it'd be more useful for us to stop thinking and interacting with Alternia as a real place that's being explained to us linearly, and appreciate it as a construct of fiction that's being written linearly. Alternia is innately full of contradiction because it is written that way, sometimes by mistake and but also by purpose. From a writing perspective, if you base an alien society off of your own, it will always be skewed in weird ways informed by your own biases, our reality that we take for granted. In Homestuck's case, Alternia is alternative earth in the many ways the the writer doesn't bother to change, but also differentiated by the ways it does change. It can be intentional or unintentional, but both become canon once they're written and published each update.

Now, the flaw in the writing is because, again, Alternia is a place written, not one that exists and is being described with all factors about itself already known. I bring up the order of pages because that is the order of how the fiction is written and presented. Homestuck is a nonlinear story in which outlines are written ahead of time, so it can organize its nonlinear storytelling, but the writing in the pages themselves are written fairly linearly. In writing we call this macro (outline) and micro (the things like sentences and paragraphs). There's a joke about this in the Simpsons, where Lisa questions how a hamster can write mystery novels, and the answer is that he writes the ending first and works backwards. But that only works in the outline, which can be done in any order. Few people write micro backwards, because it's hard to write the end of sentence before you know the start, it's just not how we do grammar. That's something that the aliens from Arrival (2016) could do.

In hivebent, the micro writing of individual pages are being written with the bias that since Alternia is based on earth, they would naturally have concepts of sexuality as much as they have the concept of gender. Even though Alternia is meant to be very very different, the presence of sexuality and gender are just taken as granted because it's like Earth. Kanaya is initially written to be gay. Feferi is initially written to be straight, and her going out the way to mention same sex attraction implies that this would be in some way the more tolerant option, which wouldn't be necessary if Alternia didn't have distinct sexualities, ergo, it does (at that point). The decision to make Alternia not like Earth in that way just hasn't been made yet.

And then, by coincidence Future Arachnids Grip happens. It's not so vital a joke as to be planned out in advance, but who on earth can ignore all caps FAG when it comes up? It also raises the opportunity for a joke, an opportunity which is swiftly and mindlessly taken in the moment. To continue establishing the trolls as alien, this thing that stands out to the audience is treated as a big whatever by Karkat. The contents of pages a hundred pages ago aren't being factored in or considered. But now, so many pages after trolls having sexualities is established, we're establishing that fag isn't a slur on alternia. Because yeah that's a funny little joke, but the decision to make it retroactively changes the world building which was once just taken as being the same as earth to being one of the things different from earth.

So whoopsie, like so many writers do, you accidentally contradicted yourself. It happens, but now the writing is set in stone, and you just have to start working on the outline of the next Act. The next act being Act 5 Act 2. The Act 5 Act 2 that starts out with Karkat and John's conversation that settles the contradiction and sides with the later joke, because that is the funnier of the two options. The explanation is diegetically addressed to John, but it is exposition to the audience, in case anyone remembers the whole deal those many pages ago.

And btw, the "Not homophobic parent" is the trope of a parent trying to awkwardly indicate that they're totally cool if you're gay by, well, doing exactly as Feferi did and adding the idea of same sex attraction on at the end them asking if you have a gf/bf. Tbh, I think if you don't know what that is, or are at least able to use context clues to take a guess, it makes me question why you so often commentate on LGBTQ+ stuff. Because no offense, it seems you aren't proficient enough in the most basic of concepts to speak so critically. If you didn't know what it is, that's really the kind of thing you ought be reading the comic for, to better understand certain LGBTQ+ experiences.

It's because some of the context behind it isn't fully related to LGBT type of themes. Most of it is based on projection. Feferi's condescending (get it ha) to people like Eridan shouldn't be that read that deep. It's just reaching at this point. At best for Feferi's arc if Hussie didn't treat her like shit, is that she accepts that Sollux left her for Feferi, Eridan is shit (no duh), and none of her other friends like Karkat, Kanaya, or Terezi gave a shit about her death and only found solace in Nepeta because of their mind fused together as a kernelsprite. It's not so much about romance as it is just that Feferi had been surrounded by shitty people and needs to associated with better ones she can trust. Slurs do exist, but in the form for things like race, not sexuality. Like how Mituna called Meenah a 'chumbucket' and 'wader' in Openbound. There probably is something equivalent to the N-word in Alternia. But nobody knows what it could be and the fandom is too scared to try and come up with one. Unless Chumbucket or Wader is the actual N-word for sea dweller trolls. Cause then that means Mituna just called Meenah a damn dirty nigga Part of Alternia's messy worldbuilding is because Hussie likes to make shit up on the fly if he thinks it is funny or awesome. That's why we even have the description of the classes for the aspects being so freaking short because Andrew Hussie didn't think much through. I also would never think Alternia is an alternative Earth. That stuff from their world should never be practiced in real life. From hemospectrum and of course, quadrants. The writing makes it a point how fucked up it is and how accepting and normalized it is within the troll group. Them playing Sgrub is trying to teach them how to move on from such beliefs and move on to build a new world on their own without it. Not like twelve trolls ruling over humans would be any better, but it's not as worse as Sea Queen Hitler and the shit she did to Earth. Is there a fanventure or fanfic that explores the Beta Trolls actually reaching their goal after Sgrub and took over Earth? I wanna see that. The John and Karkat moment was also meant to be as a joke as well to tell the audiences it WAS a joke that Karkat purposely called Vriska a FAG with no remorse. John and Karkat being mouthpieces and examples to tell that whoever was angry when that joke happened pages ago, can go fuck themselves. Most of jokes in Homestuck is made to say "fuck you" to the audiences to get a reaction out of anybody.

[lavender-hero]

Rant about Fictive Stuff. (Not /neg)

Lately, I see so much of the "i'm different from my source self" from different fictives/fictional introjects when I follow them or search tags, and I guess I feel weird sometimes because I'm sometimes told and just realize that I'm so similar to Hero?

It's hard to, you know, differentiate myself from my source self or source in general, I think about it so often and just feel such a connection to it all. I wish it wasn't that way, and that I wasn't so mentally ill about it all. I wish I wouldn't think so much about what feels like my old life, my old friends, everything... but see, those things never existed at all, they only existed in our brain. I try not to think about it all, but they feel like home. (This is not to say that I don't also have a home here, I have people and places I love to be (with.))

I also worry people will think I'm faking and just "roleplaying" because I'm too similar to Hero. And I get it. I get how it could seem that way to some people, but it isn't that way at all.

What I'm saying is, being part of a system is just really weird sometimes? -- Every fictive and their systems in general can split off so differently. There are those of us with a connection to source, and those of us who aren't attached to it at all, but it just feels so odd when you see so much of one thing. I guess I just had to ramble about it a little, because there is so much STRESS that goes with being similar to your source character, too. I am often in some level of distress about it all! Thankfully less than a few months ago.

But I wouldn't change anything because I have met a lot of wonderful people (systems and singlets) through OMORI, and I just wouldn't be the same without it? I mean, you know why.

[bamatrxnsplant]

On Creeps

I have posted quite often on Twitter that I'm tired, but I don't feel I've had the space to do it in a way that fully expresses why. That's because a limited number of characters does not allow me to express the nuance of how "creeps" exist in the Twitter space, and I have spent a lot of time carefully avoiding conflict. The problem is, never saying anything has done nothing to stop dealing with creeps except make me feel I can't speak because it's too late, too hard, or too delicate. In real life, it's different. It's easier to hear how a leer makes it into a person's voice. You can feel eyes on you in person in a way you cannot on Twitter. 

We all know the creeps that are easily packaged as creeps. As you'll see going around, don't retweet selfies, don't DM women who don't want you to, and don't assume someone's comfort with their sexuality allows you to say anything you want in their replies. All of us can open our DM request folder, and there will be unsolicited pictures of penises, blunt statements of what part of your body a stranger wants to see, a good morning from someone you've never heard of, or, my personal favorite, insults when their advances are ignored. Sometimes all of these are left in a public space, and your friends can be alerted too.

Those creeps can be blocked, and you can move on. Their offenses can be screenshotted, and you can objectively show why you dislike that person. A more nuanced group of men who reply to everything can be more difficult to navigate, oft referred to as reply guys. Maybe it's only your selfies, maybe they've committed to every post, but they'll have something to say. That in and of itself seems harmless. There is an energy that differentiates a reply guy from a guy who replies, one that I can even sense, and I don't know people are my friends unless they explicitly say it. You start to realize a reply guy has created a narrative, and your silence only gives them more space to decide your intent. Maybe you thanked them for compliments at first and interacted, but then you stopped. 

They don’t. And this sounds like such a non-issue. Someone compliments you a lot? Engages a lot? It’s something more. It’s overtly sexual flirting. It’s flirting with increased intimacy. It’s being uncomfortable because you know they have post notifications on. It’s going to their profile and realizing they exclusively interact with women who look like you. It’s realizing they only retweet porn of people who look like you. 

These are easy to block, too, until they aren’t. This group could be members of your circle. If you block that guy that came to that one game night, will you have to hear about it? They’re prominent in your fan community, so could it impact your ability to participate? That’s when there are whispers. “I don’t want to cause any issue,” it’s always couched because you know what can happen if your discomfort gets back to someone who could just not flirt with you. “I don’t get a good feeling from him.” Relief when they say, “I thought it was just me that was creeped out.”

You can befriend women as a man on Twitter. If I were to name the friends I have made on Twitter, half to more than half of them are men. This isn’t an every man is creeping on you post. I know when someone is replying with compliments repeatedly because they on some level, conscious or not, think enough kindness tokens get them sex and when they’re just friendly. I know which men I can go to and say, “Hey, I’m uncomfortable with you/your friend/that one guy,” and have them listen. 

I have male friends from Twitter. I have formed friendships that went from platonic to sexual on Twitter. I have formed friendships that went from platonic to a safe flirtation. I have had friendships turn romantic from Twitter. That’s because these men ensured interest was reciprocated. They treated me like a person with my own autonomy. I was not a girl they had painted into a box she is much too large for. For them, I am thankful.

That said, I also know which man said I should be led astray in our first Twitter interaction, continuing on with little to no response until I felt I had to get another man to stand with me at an event so he’d leave me alone, seemingly because another man had dibs. He proceeded to glare at me through the event enough that a friend pointed it out, and I didn’t feel comfortable saying anything for fear of blowback.

I know which man let me think we were platonic friends until I promised him he wasn’t one of those reply guys. Then in a Zoom, he created an environment that made me feel I had to leave long enough to change clothes in the hopes he’d stop being a creep under a veil of anonymity. The questions were anonymous, but watching him type them and reference the group conversation was not. 

I know which men heard me say, “I’m flattered but not interested,” and sent a barrage of insults in return.

I know which men I did not know who read my post about my discomfort and immediately DMed me offering drinks and dates and compliments to make me feel less objectified and undervalued.

I know which men make me feel I need a spreadsheet of people to watch out for because I don’t know if I’m crazy until it’s mentioned by friends since so many tweets seem to go missing when you stop speaking to a person. It’s almost like they know they did something wrong.

I know which men will either read this and out themselves by saying, “I never…” or “I was only trying…” or, another favorite, “you’re an ugly bitch anyway.” If you are feeling attacked, I encourage you to evaluate your interactions. And if you feel attacked and regularly have a back-and-forth with me, you are not the problem.

And most upsetting, I know which men I cannot share discomforts with because they won't care what someone else is doing because they "don't seem creepy."

I am tired. I am very, very tired. I am tired of the fact that I am comfortable in my skin, with my sexuality, and with my flirtatiousness. I am not comfortable with men who mistake any of these things as directed at them in particular. That they are somehow special. I do not want your feedback if you do not understand how to recognize the gulf between stranger on the internet and a friend I flirt with. If you see me engaging in a certain way with a friend and not you, consider that it is because I do not know you. I will let you know if I decide I want to. And if you treat me with kindness and respect, like you would another man, that may happen.