#and some of the lyrics I found out actually fit better

[horizon-penblade]

when you actually find out what that slightly unclear lyric was and it doesn't fit your blorbo as well anymore :pensive:

[hannieoftheyear]

After All This Time (kmg)

When you're asked to be on the wedding party of a long-lost friend, you get the chance to reconnect with former classmate Mingyu, but not without your old feelings and struggles resurfacing.

pairing: groomsman!mingyu x bridesmaid!reader

w.c: 18,7k

genre: friends to lovers, fluff, smut, minor angst, it's another self-indulgent 'running away from your high school past' story from me.

warnings: alcohol consumption, a lot of not standing up for oneself, kind of unrealistic wedding timeline (i've never been a bridesmaid so bare with me), mingyu has no flaws here because... im in love with him, this might be badly written I can't really tell anymore | smut: it's messy, and rough, face sitting, unprotected penetration (don't do this), multiple orgasms (f). lmk if im missing anything

still into you by paramore - i often listened to this song while writing this. i wasn't particularly inspired by it but the title did come from its lyrics, and i think it's pretty fitting

The unopened letter stares at you from across the table. Trying to ignore it by doing your housekeeping chores is pointless. Scrubbing your toilet, doing your laundry, making your bed, and even cooking your meal preps for the entire week, nothing managed to take your head away from that stupid letter, wondering what could possibly be.

You and Olivia haven’t spoken properly since graduating high school many years ago. The last time you had a full-on conversation with her was when she told you she started seeing a new guy freshman year in college, someone who went to your same high school but never knew. Besides that, your only form of “communication” was liking each other's Instagram stories and the yearly happy birthday text. A letter from her addressed to you was the last thing you expected to see today, or ever.

Curiosity finally wins as you take it and inspect it up close. The pastel pink envelope with golden details feels sturdy in your hands, and the wax seal is stamped with two initials, O and T. The boyfriend’s name appears in your memory as the realization hits you. Olivia and Thomas.

This is a wedding invitation.

Opening the envelope just confirms your thoughts, but there’s more to it than just a mere invitation. Just below some details such as dress code and the plus one, there’s a part specifically addressed to you asking you to be one of Olivia’s bridesmaids. Your stomach turns, anxiety, and excitement battling it out in each of your organs. For one, it’s really heartwarming that she thought of you as a friend still and wants you to be a part of such a special day as her wedding. On the other side, it’ll be awkward to see everyone again after such a long time, because, weirdly enough, you never encountered anyone you knew ever again, even if you didn’t move away and still frequented same places as before.

Except, maybe that anxiety is just because of one person, who’s probably going to be more than involved in this wedding. Cassie, your other best friend.

Being a trio was never a problem. Actually, it’s probably the better friend group arrangement for you. The three of you got along immediately since the first day of middle school and never looked back. It was always fun and comfortable, you thought you had found your best friends for life. But something happened around the age when girls start noticing boys, when everyone starts going on dates, flirting, kissing, getting into relationships. That’s when you realized you and Cassie had the exact same type. It became almost like a routine: you’d notice a cute guy around school but didn’t say anything, and the next thing you know, at the next party Cassie would also notice him and hook up with him. You were sure you were in your very own Truman Show.

Was it partially your fault for not saying anything? Maybe, but did it have to happen with literally every single guy you were ever attracted to? It reached a point where you would constantly doubt yourself, compare yourself to her, was she cooler? Prettier? Smarter? Funnier?

In the end, it wasn’t her fault, and you’d never blame her for that, but for your own good and the wellness of your crumbling self-confidence, you had to get away from that situation. And you did. At least until now. But it’s been years, you’re not the same person you were back in high school, and hopefully, all of your self-doubting was also left in the past.

A sky-high, lavish building stands before you in all of its glory. You were no stranger to your old friend’s rich family, but her lifestyle always managed to take you by surprise.

Olivia wanted all the bridesmaids and groomsmen to meet and get comfortable with each other, so she and her fiancé arranged a little afternoon party at their apartment. Over the few texts you exchanged with Olivia, she failed to mention the other people on the wedding party. So during the elevator ride, you think of every possibility, who could be there that you know? With how many people from school has she kept in contact with? Will you know the groom’s friends?

The doorbell rings inside the busy apartment, and a few seconds later you’re welcomed by your old friend with a bright smile. You hug Olivia tightly, the weirdness of the situation fading away for a few seconds. Afterward, you greet everyone with a shy smile, recognizing some faces and encountering new ones. Some people are standing in groups of three or four, while others sit on the couch or a few scattered chairs, talking with each other comfortably.

“While we wait for the last people to arrive, I want to start telling you what I have planned.”

Olivia announces as you walk away slowly, and you find an empty wall by the hallway to rest against.

At least twenty minutes pass, in which Olivia doesn’t take one breath, her happiness and excitement showing through her endless words. The wedding plan is not really out of the ordinary, but the scale of things, that’s the impressive part. She has seven bridesmaids, including you, plus the maid of honor who hasn’t arrived yet, and her fiancé has the same number of grooms, plus the best man. Each of you will pair up throughout the days coming up to the ceremony, and on the big day, each pair will have matching outfits and even a dance scheduled after the couple’s first dance as a married couple. Her idea was essentially thought so no one would feel out of place and enjoy the ceremony, because it should be a happy day for everyone.

While she explains everything for the second time, you take your time to look around the big room full of people. Scanning every face, there isn’t really a lot of girls you know, but the groomsmen, on the other hand, all of them went to your same high school. It seems Olivia’s fiancé still hangs out with his same group of friends. One of them, in particular, sparks a little smile across your face.

Mingyu was the only other person you considered a real friend in school. As scary and anxiety inducing as it is to have classes without your small friend group, he made it more than bearable, enjoyable even. Becoming friends with the nerdy boy assigned as your lab partner is one of the things you remember fondly about those years of your life. He was like a breath of fresh air during all the turmoil. Would he remember you?

His eyes catch yours from across the room, and an instant smile forms across his lips. After all the years that passed, he still looks the same. He’s much more mature and fully over puberty now, his broad bulky frame being one of the more standing out new things about him, but you’d recognize that confused expression and toothy smile with fangs peeking out anywhere. Your mood rapidly improves as he mouths a ‘hi’ and waves his hand lightly at you, not wanting to interrupt the bride to be. You repeat his greeting with a growing grin, but your small interaction is cut short.

“And Y/Nie,” your name catches your attention, and you turn to Olivia, “you and Mingyu will be our last pair. Is that okay?”

The relief is immediate. It might be a little awkward, but at least you’ll be with someone you know. You and Mingyu look at each other once again and then nod at her, but before she can continue with whatever she is saying, the entry door opens behind her.

“Hi everyone!” The familiar voice makes your stomach drop, “I’m sorry I’m late. My boss wouldn’t let me go.”

“It’s fine. It’s nothing the maid of honor hasn’t heard before.” Olivia replies to her with a chuckle.

She looks the same too, only with longer hair and more mature features on her face. Her body language holds the same coolness, as sure of herself as she was when you were younger.

“Oh my god! I haven’t seen you in so long!” When she greets you, you straighten your posture, put on your best smile, and hug her back. “How are you doing?”

“Hey Cassie, good, good, just working my life away!”

You joke and try to ease up your emotions. Your few words manage to satisfy her as she nods with a smile, walks away, and pecks one of the groomsmen – her boyfriend? – on the lips before sitting by his side.

The schedule is easy for Olivia to finish explaining it, so in no time, food starts rolling in, and conversations pop up between everyone, either catching up or normal everyday chats. Cassie starts telling a story about something that happened earlier at her job, but you don’t really understand it. You haven’t talked to them in so long, you don’t know what they do for a living, or where they work. You don’t know them anymore, and you’re too afraid to ask.

To the side, a couple of people over, Mingyu’s talking with the rest of the grooms' friends comfortably. You want to talk to him, but what would you say? It’s not like you were the closest of friends. You never hung out outside of the school, and your friend groups never actually interacted until now. Actually, you never told Olivia and Cassie about him. Maybe because you were afraid that if you introduced him to Cassie, he’d swoon over her like the rest of the guys you ever interacted with romantically.

An uneasy feeling creeps in on you as memories of your past fight to climb up on your memory. Feelings and thoughts you haven’t felt in years come back up, almost reliving everything in a matter of milliseconds. You need to talk to someone, take your mind off of your overthinking. Because this is not the time nor the place to get so gloomy.

You get to talk with the rest of the bridesmaids, and the anxiousness of it all starts bubbling down, and you’re much more comfortable. A couple of them are close family friends with Olivia, also as rich as her, but still really nice girls, even if a little airheaded, and the rest are friends from college.

Time passes by easily, and soon enough, the sun is already set.

On the ride back home, your mind starts spiraling again. Do you even fit in with all those people? An invite to her wedding would’ve been just fine, but a bridesmaid? You feel like a total stranger, someone from her past who’s meddling around trying to sneak into a place she purposely left behind. At least you won’t have to see anyone ever again after the wedding is over.

It is said that changing your usual routine helps improving your mood, taking another path home, shopping at a new place, sitting down at a different park, trying a new coffee order, changing the little things to feel more energized and be more productive. You wouldn’t know, because every task you complete as fast as possible to be back home quickly. So, after days of not being able to think about anything else but the upcoming wedding, it’s your only option left.

With the sky lit up with golden light, the grass and trees as green as ever, and a light breeze that prevents you from getting too hot, you walk around a park you’ve never been to before, with your new ‘hot girl walk’ playlist as a soundtrack. The kids running around the playground are the only sounds that get through your ears besides the music, maybe a bark or two as well, and the sun against your skin soothes all your worries. Damn. Going on a walk does fix your mood.

A hand grabbing your arm softly startles you, and you’re about to punch the mystery person when you recognize his face.

“Mingyu?”

His eyes are focused on your fist that was ready to hit him, and you lower it down, beginning to take out your airpods.

“Sorry! You scared me!” You erupt in a nervous laughter.

“I’m sorry! I called your name but you didn’t hear me.” He stands apologetic in front of you, looking down at his feet before daring to look back up. “How are you doing? We didn’t get to talk the other day.”

“Yeah! It’s good to see you! I didn’t expect you to be there, it was a nice surprise.” Is it too weird to say that? Well, it’s already done.

He gets the tiniest bit shy at your words, his ears turning a light shade of pink before disappearing quickly.

You notice a bicycle by his side, a cute pink helmet with glittery heart stickers hanging by the handle. He must’ve been biking when he saw you and took it off before calling your name.

“I didn’t know if you were still friends with Olivia, I didn’t know if I was going to see you either.”

You fixate on the first part of his sentence, ignoring your body’s reaction to him implying he wanted to see you.

“Oh, we’re not really that close anymore.” There’s a silence as you finish your words, as it wasn’t the reply he was expecting. “Life, you know? We just grew apart.”

It was you who stopped making an effort to talk to her, but even if it was still for your own good, you’re a little ashamed to admit it to Mingyu.

“She still asked you to be her bridesmaid. That must mean something.” Ever the positive guy, he tries to make you feel better after the sour comment.

“Yeah, it’s really nice of her.” The sun shining so bright prevents you from looking up at him, but you smile, hoping he can see it.

The slow steps you’ve been taking side by side turn awkward with silence. You wanted so badly to talk to him after the other day, but now that he’s here, in front of you, you can’t think of anything.

“It’s good that you still hang out with the guys.”

You don’t know what else to say, and the words spill out of your mouth. He doesn’t seem to notice the awkward atmosphere, his body as comfortable as ever walking by your side.

“Yeah, even though not as often as I’d like.” A regretful smile forms across his lips. “Our schedules haven’t been lining up, I met Olivia in person maybe a total of three times over the years.”

“What? There’s no way you didn’t share any classes in school?”

He shakes his head, chuckling at your surprise.

“I think I only ever shared one class with her, but I didn’t really care much about her crowd back then.”

“Wow, thanks for that.”

He means all the popular guys your friends would hang out with, and you know it, but there was always something so fun in teasing him and seeing him get so pouty.

"You know I don’t mean you.”

His shoulder pushes your body lightly to the side, and you chuckle together. It’s hard to prevent the red from rushing to your cheeks. Maybe he’ll mistake it for a faint sunburn.

“That’s a cute helmet you got there.” Your eyes point to it as a way to distract him.

“Oh, that?” He picks it up with what seems to be an embarrassed voice tone, but his actions quickly override it. He puts it on proudly and looks at you with his eyebrows raised, “my sister gave it to me when I bought the bike, gets all the ladies.”

“I'm sure it does.”

Attention from women he for sure gets, but probably not because of that thing. His tall, muscular body is enhanced by the tight blue t-shirt he's wearing. You didn’t get a proper look at him the other day, and now, standing next to him in broad daylight, you almost wish you could still live in the ignorance bliss of not knowing the exact height difference between you two.

“So, what are you doing around here?”

His words make you realize you’ve been staring for a few seconds, and you look ahead, hoping he didn’t notice. He forgets to remove the helmet, making you chuckle quietly before answering.

“I just got off from work and thought it would be nice to take a different route home.”

“That’s such a coincidence! I come here, like, almost every week to bike around.”

“Wow, It really is.”

For how long have you been avoiding this specific park for no reason? Pushing away your chance of meeting the one and only person you would’ve wanted to?

A ping from his phone alerts both of you, taking you out of your little bubble.

“Sorry I-" His expression falls as he reads the new text, “I have to get going, but it was really nice seeing you!”

"Oh, sure! I didn’t mean to hold you back.” It comes out quieter than you’d like. “Goodbye!” With a simple smile and a tiny wave at him, you turn around.

Right when he gets on his bicycle again, before he starts pedaling, he looks back at you, taking your first step in the opposite direction.

“Wait!” When you turn around, he’s taking his phone out of his front pocket, “Can I get your number?”

The both of you blush at his words, and you look up at him cautiously.

“So we can catch up and, you know, get comfortable with each other for the wedding.”

You had already forgotten about that. The reason you even met him again in the first place.

“Sure!”

Your hand trembles slightly when you take his phone, and you mentally beat yourself up for it. It’s just your number! It could mean nothing.

“I’ll text you later so you can save mine.”

And with a wink, he’s off to whatever he was late to.

Great. Now you’re not only re-living your high-school anxieties but also your high-school crushes.

During the following days, you find yourself checking your phone more often than ever, always with the hope that you’ll get a new message from Mingyu. Texting almost every day since the encounter at the park, the time when you’re both free to talk has become your favorite part of the day.

It started shyly, merely updating the other about your lives since finishing high school, your jobs, and hobbies. But as time passed, the never-ending conversation eased onto your daily routines. You’d wake up and text Mingyu, update him as you arrive at work. Lunch, break, evening, clocking out, dinner. Every little free time you got, you’d text each other back and forth.

A text notification cheers you up constantly, thinking that it could possibly be him again. But it’s not always the case, like this time.

It’s Olivia reminding you that, in exactly 29 minutes, you have the dance rehearsal with all the maids and grooms. Half an hour, and you live 1 hour away from the studio she rented. A little white lie never hurt anyone, so you tell her something came up and you'll be just a little late.

You love weddings, but if you had to choose one thing you don’t like about them, it would definitely be the dancing. You can’t dance for shit. You’d tell your right leg to move forward, and your left leg would move backwards, like your body can’t comprehend instructions when they’re related to dancing. Usually, you stay in your seat, choosing not to embarrass yourself in front of all the guests, but this time, you can’t get out of it. Poor Mingyu will leave the class with at least five bruises on his feet from you stepping on him.

The dance studio is part of a new, contemporary looking building on the exact geographic center of the city, a place you would always pass by but never thought you’ll get to enter. Standing at the front desk, over half an hour late, you feel too out of place. Your clothes are probably wrong, your hair is completely disheveled, you don’t remember on which floor is your class, and you don’t even know the name of the dance teacher.

After a long discussion with the receptionist, she finally understands what you’re here for and lets you go up to the 13th floor.

The walk from the elevator to the studio feels longer than it actually is. Three to four footsteps become long, slow turtle-like steps. But not even the infinite time you spend taking four steps prepare you for your stomach to drop down to the basement at the sight of Mingyu dancing with Cassie as soon as you open the door.

His hands on her waist, her arms around his neck, dancing slowly in circles, laughing about something she just said, you can almost hear something inside you break. After all this time, nothing really changed.

“Hey! You’re finally here!”

Olivia’s voice brings you back to earth.

“Hi! I’m really sorry I couldn’t get here sooner.” The dance teacher gives you a look, and you lower down your voice, “So how is this going?”

“We had to put them together,” she points the dreaded pair, directing your eyes to them once again, “because neither you or Tyler were here when we started, but after the song’s over you can join him and I’ll practice with Cassie, okay?”

You nod with the best spirit you can manage to express.

“Is Tyler the guy she was with the other day?”

You don’t forget to whisper so the class isn’t interrupted by your chatter.

“He’s the only one of Tom's friends who’s not from school, don’t worry, you didn’t erase him from your memory.”

You stifle a laugh before it gets loud.

“Good, I was starting to feel bad about not recognizing him.”

In reality, his existence doesn’t matter much to you either way, except for something. “Are him and Cassie a thing?”

“She says it’s something casual but, and don’t tell her about this, I paired them up together on purpose so they can finally realize that they like each other!”

Your lungs clear of air in an instant after hearing those words. She’s not available. She has a boyfriend, sort of. A boyfriend who you do not know nor have feelings for.

“Your secret's safe with me.”

“Mingyu's nice and all, but if he messes with my plan and charms her, I will personally revoke his invitation to the wedding.”

You both chuckle just as the song finally ends, yours quieter than hers. Both of them see you with Olivia, but only Cassie comes forward to say hi.

“Hey girls! Good to see you!” She gives you a little hug before directing to Olivia. “So… Tyler isn’t showing up, I assume.”

“He told me a few minutes ago that something came up and can’t come, sorry.”

Her hand flies to Cassie's shoulders to comfort her, but she doesn’t seem bummed by the news.

“Well, then, I have something to ask you.”

Her presence suddenly becomes overwhelming as she grins at you with a proposition in mind, seemingly all thought out.

“Are you close with Mingyu? Olivia told me you were classmates.”

How did she know? Maybe you did tell her about him after all.

“He used to be my lab partner. Why?”

“How did you not crush on him back then? He’s such a cutie.”

“I probably did, I don’t remember.” Lie.

“Could you find out if he has a girlfriend, pleeease?”

A buzzing sound is all you hear for a few seconds, like your brain forgets how to function. Words don’t come out, and you’re freezed in place as Cassie looks at you expectantly. To the side, Olivia looks just as puzzled by her request.

“W-why?”

“Because, he’s really hot and, if I need a quick rebound because of that other fucker, I need to know I’m not messing with a relationship.”

Silence is all you produce once again.

“I just need a tiny bit of info, and it’ll be weird if I ask him directly, so could you please try?”

“Sure… I’ll try, but I’m not promising anything.”

You’ve never sounded less excited about something in your whole life. You love some gossip and some drama, but not if it involves a genuinely nice guy like Mingyu being used. Or maybe it’s just because it’s him.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Cassie jumps excitedly and hugs you once again, just as the dance teacher calls for everyone to gather.

Mingyu’s hands slot carefully at the sides of your waist, guiding you swiftly and sparking goosebumps across your back. Your arms wrap awkwardly around his neck, making him crouch a bit so you can look properly at each other.

“Were you always this good? Or did you become a professional waltz dancer in the half hour I wasn’t here?”

You remember him telling you the other day, during your endless text conversations, that he, like you, wasn’t particularly excited about dancing.

“Let’s say, hypothetically, that I practiced before coming here, what would that say about me? Hypothetically.”

“It would say that,” you drown out a cackle before you can continue, “you take your duty as a groomsman very seriously, hypothetically.”

“Good, I wouldn’t want you to think I was a dork, hypothetically.”

“You’re too late, I already thought that.”

A pout forms on his mouth at your giggles, and he flashes the world's most menacing puppy eyes ever.

“I mean it in the best way possible!”

“Isn’t it embarrassing?”

“It’s cute!”

His face shifts with skepticism, sending enough signals saying he didn’t like your choice of words.

“It’s charming!”

The warmth his body emanates wraps around you fast. His expectant eyes looking down at you and the closeness of your bodies rises your temperature in record time, your cheeks pinking up furiously. You keep talking as the nervousness takes over you.

“At least it worked! You’re a really good dancer, I’m sorry I keep missing the beats.”

“You’re giving me too much credit. You’re not that bad.”

“Now you’re just lying. My limbs are physically unable to coordinate more than three steps. You’re guiding me through every single one!”

His hands tighten just the tiniest bit around your waist, like a confirmation for the both of you that they’re still there.

The teacher’s voice echoes all around you until it finally punctures your bubble, and you’re able to hear the class you’re here for. The steps she’s explaining for a second time make no sense in your head, too many turns and moves for you (and your body) to comprehend.

“I need all the pairs to practice the final steps again.”

Only her final words make sense on your mind, and when you look towards Mingyu, his hand left its place on your body and is extended at you, his eyes kind yet concentrated back on the dance. You nod, taking his hand with an electrifying rush going through your veins.

Mingyu guides you firmly but with care, moving along the beats of the waltz. With each step, your synchronization improves, and the moves flow along easily, your bodies understanding each other. You can’t help but smile as you look him in the eyes, a familiar warm feeling bubbling up inside you.

“You're doing a really good job.”

His eyes catch yours, a little wrinkle forming by each of their sides before he cracks a smile to match yours. There’s something in the way he looks like when paying attention to you, like a spell being casted on you, making you crave more.

“It’s because it’s comfortable with you.”

Your mouth betrays you and sends out the words without checking with your brain, but weirdly enough, you don’t fear his reaction. It’s just the truth.

“We’re more in synch than you thought.”

You swear you see a glimpse of a smirk before he spins you in his arms.

As you turn and move together through the song, you think your excitement isn't solely because of the rehearsal going well. It could be simply a wish, but a spark of something is definitely lighting up. The way Mingyu holds you, attentive and confident, you can't help to think he feels it too.

“You think we can be this good the day of the wedding?”

There’s more anticipation than curiosity in your voice, remembering you’ll keep meeting until then, you’ll keep seeing him.

Mingyu reaches closer until his warm breath fans your ear and his lips graze your cheek.

“We could meet a few days before and practice, like I hypothetically did today.”

“You think I need practice?” You tease to hide the blush creeping up your cheeks.

“Maybe it’s an excuse to see you again.”

A mix of shyness and giddiness overtakes you as you giggle at his proposition. But in the midst of your interaction, you skip a crucial move and begin to turn, stepping right on one of Mingyu’s feet and almost tripping over to the side. His hand secures you by the waist, the hem of your t-shirt raised just enough so his fingers brush your fiery bare skin.

“Ok, maybe I do need the practice too.”

The teacher talks to you on the background, but it’s hard to concentrate on anything other than Mingyu’s touch lighting fires across your body, his worried eyes over your ‘almost’ fall, and his smile when he realizes you’re laughing at your clumsiness.

The music starts over, and you only realize it because his hand is extended at you once again.

“Let’s give it another try.”

“So, you didn’t get to ask him?”

“I’m sorry, I forgot about it. I was so focused on learning the dance that it slipped my mind.”

Running into Cassie coming out of the subway was the last thing you expected (and wanted) right now. Trying on dresses is the one bridesmaid related thing you were least excited about. So many hours of putting clothes on and off, picking colors, showing the rest of the girls, giving your opinion on their dresses, and listening to their opinions on yours. It just sounds so exhausting. But your mental pep talk got interrupted when Cassie saw you walking up the stairs of the station heading to the bridal shop.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it.”

“He didn’t say anything that would imply he has one, if that helps.”

More than a helping hand to her, you're starting to hope he’s single too.

“That’s good to know, thank you.”

“I don’t really get why you wanted to know, though. I thought you had a boyfriend.”

“He’s not... I mean, it’s not like, official. I wanted him to get jealous, but I'm over that now.”

“Oh, so... you talked about it with him?"

“Kind of... he just explained why he couldn’t come to the rehearsal, and I just, couldn’t get mad at him simply for that, right?”

“Right...”

You know virtually nothing about their ‘relationship’, or about him for that matter, so it’s maybe for the best to stay out of their… thing.

“Anyway, about today, do you have something in mind for your dress?”

“Not really, I was just thinking of browsing through the store and seeing what they have.”

“Wow, really? You’re so chill about it. I have a pinterest board with all the styles and shapes I like. I even checked their online store to see what they have in stock beforehand.”

“That’s… actually really smart.”

“Nah, don’t be nice. Did you at least think of a color? Olivia wants all of us to be different colors, but in pastel, obviously. I personally didn’t really care about it, but I chose pink after some thought.”

“Oh, actually, I didn't know that.”

“It’s okay, you can decide when we get there.”

“Did the rest of the girls choose already?”

“Maybe? I haven’t had the chance to ask them.”

“I hope I don’t get green then, I don’t really like how it looks on me.”

“You’ll look amazing either way. Don’t let a simple color wear you down!”

Small talk with Cassie turns out to be quite nice in the short walk you have up to the store. It's a pretty shallow conversation, but not at all stressful like you thought.

The place is really fancy looking, tall glass windows and blinding white interior. It makes you take a breath just by looking at the displayed dresses. Relieved that Olivia said multiple times that she’ll take care of everything and not to worry about the prices, you and Cassie walk inside.

You didn’t expect every girl to be already there, and you especially didn’t expect the groomsmen to be also all there. The girls browse through racks and racks of different shaped and colored dresses, and the men are sitting back, talking with one another, waiting for their bridesmaid to ask for their opinion.

Cassie goes straight to greet Mingyu with a hug. Even if he isn’t the closest one to the door. Even if Tyler is there also. And you walk behind her, slowly, shy because of all the people aware of your arrival. You give Mingyu a shy smile as a greet, and he returns it warmly.

After the dance rehearsal all those days back, you’ve been hesitant about contacting him again. There’s nothing wrong with him. It’s quite the opposite, actually. He’s caring, attentive, and kind towards you. You just don’t want to fall in your black hole of a crush on him again. especially after Cassie made it clear to you that he’s caught her eye too. Sure, she just told you she made up with her boyfriend, but her actions are already contradicting her words.

Olivia sees you with Cassie and walks quickly towards you two with a smile on her face.

“Hey girls! How do you like the store?! Isn’t it huge?”

“It’s unbelievable! I’m gonna need at least two hours to look through all the dresses!”

Cassie answers, staring at the lengthy room in awe. You can feel Mingyu’s eyes on you. Or maybe on Cassie. Regardless, you’re in his line of sight, and it gives you chills.

“Well, you have all the time in the world today. I reserved the whole store for the entire day for all of us, and the staff is also here to help us if needed, so don’t worry about asking for help!”

“That’s amazing!” You both exclaim at the same time.

“Thank you!” Cassie doesn’t look back and goes straight to the racks of pink dresses. You’re about to go and walk around as well. Maybe try to find a color that suits you, but Olivia stops you before you can even take a step.

“Wait! I got the list of the available colors left for you,” she hands you a sheet of paper with almost everything on it crossed out, “I’m sorry, I know there isn’t much left.”

“Oh don’t worry, it’s fine. I should’ve picked it earlier. It’s not your fault.”

It’s disappointing to see that only two items aren’t crossed out. Light teal and pastel green. Green and teal aren’t ugly colors by any means, but you always feel awkward when wearing them, so you’ve learned to avoid them. The back of your throat itches to close as you think about looking ugly at the wedding, in front of so many people, in front of him.

“I saw some of the teal dresses earlier, and they’re all super cute! You’ll look amazing!”

“Oh, ok, I’ll go check them out. But, just in case, isn’t there any way for me to change colors?”

“You could ask someone to swap with you.”

Your mind instantly goes to Cassie. Earlier, she told you she didn’t care which color she wore, maybe she wouldn’t mind switching with you. You spot her easily on one corner, asking Mingyu about his opinion. She looks up at him with glittery eyes as one of her hands places itself on his arm. The sight turns your stomach upside down. You want to stop watching the scene as much as you want to break them apart.

Your legs make the decision for you and walk you to where they’re standing. They don’t notice you walking over to them until you speak up.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt you guys, but Cassie, could I ask you something?”

Mingyu’s the first one to look up at you, his face lighting up as you interrupt whatever Cassie was saying to him. She’s slower, making sure to hang the dress back on the rack before turning to face you.

“What do you need?”

There's very little annoyance on her tone, but you don’t miss the way her eyebrows arch and her eyes dart to Mingyu, signaling you that she wants some alone time.

“I wanted to ask if you, by any chance, were willing to switch colors with me?”

“What happened? Which ones are left?”

“Basically, just green.”

“Oh, that’s such a bummer.”

There’s a silence when she finishes talking. You wait for her to continue, blinking at her, but she just doesn’t. Her sentence ended there.

“Yeah, so, would you swap with me?”

“I…” Her body language turns awkward as she thinks of an answer, side-eyeing Mingyu, who’s also waiting for her, but with no context to what you’re asking her.

“I just, you said you didn’t really care about the color, so I thought you wouldn’t mind changing it.”

You huff, not helping the awkward atmosphere around the three of you. Your eyes connect with Mingyu’s, who's silently watching the interaction from the side. You hate that he’s seeing you in such a state, so... desperate for something that’s not that big of a deal anyway. You need this interaction to be over.

“You’re right, I did say that,” you can already see where this is going, “but, I kinda already put my mind to it, and it took a lot of convincing to get Tyler to match with me. He already bought his suit, and I don’t want to make him mad by changing everything so suddenly, I’m sorry.”

“Oh…”

You can feel your stomach contracting, your throat threatening to close, your eyes getting ready to be filled with tears. This is so stupid. It’s just a stupid color. It's a stupid dress you’ll never wear again. Why is it affecting you so much?

“Wait, I’m sure Tyler wouldn’t mind changing.”

Mingyu’s soft voice sounds closer to you, but you can’t really see much with your eyes trained to the ground and vision blurry from tearing up.

“No, it’s fine, let’s not bother him.”

Blinking away the tears is easy, but looking up and finding a concerned Mingyu makes you feel like jelly. Cassie’s long forgotten as you focus on him, his tall figure watching over you, his hand placed on your shoulder, squeezing lightly, silently comforting you.

“I’ll go try and find something I like.”

“I can look with you if you want.”

“No, it’s fine, you can go back to what you were doing.”

You walk away, leaving him standing there, still worried about your sudden reaction. Cassie is just behind him, waiting for the opportunity to get his attention back.

But you try not to think about him or her while browsing through the store. Trying your best to be positive, to not get dragged down by a simple color choice, or by a friend – if you can call her that – that couldn’t help you.

Hours go by, and it’s easier when you focus on other things. You help the other girls decide on their dresses, reacting and applauding, helping them find new ones if they aren’t satisfied. It’s fun, contrary to what you previously thought, it’s like playing a dress up game, except every now and then, it’s Cassie who comes out on the make-shift runway, and the first opinion she asks for is always Mingyu's.

At one point, everyone has already decided, and you’re the only one left. All the girls you helped come together to try and find you the best possible dress, bringing a new one to you with hopeful smiles on their faces every few minutes.

You try them on, eager to find one and be done with it. But, even if they look gorgeous when on the hanger, they always got something that doesn’t sit right with you when you put them on. And after trying dress after dress, you grow more discouraged.

Olivia notices how tired you are and tells you that you can come back another day, alone and less anxious, but then again, that would mean stretching the situation for longer than needed. You decide to try on one more dress, one that Olivia picked specifically for you, and if you’re not satisfied, you’ll come back with her the next day.

The store lady helps you put the dress on, her sweet smile never fading, even if it’s the tenth dress she helped you put on already. The pastel green silk fabric glides smoothly over your skin, hugging you in the right places as the lady zips it up. Your back’s facing the mirror, too afraid to look in it again and find another disappointing result.

“Sweetheart, I think this is the one.”

The kind woman’s voice startles you, but her honest smile makes you believe her words. You inhale deeply, calming yourself before turning around. But instead of looking at your reflection, you walk outside the changing room and onto the lobby.

Every pair of eyes is on you the moment you step out, your arms wrap around your torso in an effort to shield yourself, and you can feel your cheeks being painted a bright red color. A few gasps are heard, and when you look around, the girls who helped you are all covering their mouths, eyes wide as they watch you cautiously strolling forward.

At the back of the store, it’s like time stops for Mingyu. Whatever he was doing, forgotten at the sight of you. He was unaware of how much your appearance could affect him. His eyes are trained on you, allured by your figure, scanning you up and down like a piece of art worth studying.

Buzz erupts all around you, mumbles and praises about your dress and how you look in it, but it’s all background noise for you. Mingyu’s heavy stare finds yours, and his ears turn a faint shade of pink. The subtlest smirk begins to form on his lips, spreading the warm feeling on your tummy all across your body. He can’t seem to drive his eyes away from you, and you don’t want him to. Your arms relax under his gaze, disarming the protective shield around you and drop to hang by your sides.

But, in a matter of seconds, the girls swarm around you, blocking all 360 degrees around you. Their positive opinions flood your ears as they walk you back to the dressing room, trying to convince you to choose this dress. You can’t look back, but you’re sure all the groomsmen left together.

Doesn’t matter. You’re definitely getting this one.

After spending the whole day shopping together, it marvels you how these girls still want to spend time together. When they noticed all the boys left, they planned an impromptu girls' night at Olivia’s apartment.

It’s amazing how they can spend hours and hours talking with each other, a few drinks here and there, never running out of topics, entertaining you when you’re too tired to talk.

Your phone vibrates in your pocket, and you sit back on your side of the couch to read the new text.

Mingyu: hey, how are you?

Mingyu: sorry i couldn’t stay today, they dragged me to a boys night

Everything that happened a few hours ago flashes through your mind, waking a giddy smile on your face as you reply.

You: why are you sorry?

You: the girls wanted to do a ‘boys free’ night, we’re at Olivia’s rn

Mingyu: i didnt want to leave before making sure you were okay

Oh.

You: im better now

You: it was fun helping the other girls, took my mind off of it

You: but thank you, you didnt have to worry

Mingyu: good to know :)

Mingyu: next time ill drive you home

You: drive me home? Will i sit on the bike's handlebar?

Mingyu: i was thinking more like a piggyback ride

You: hmm... ill have to think about it

You tune back to the conversation before anyone notices you not paying attention, having no idea what turns the topic has taken in the time you weren’t listening.

“I think he’s definitely seeing someone.”

The girls divided into two groups with different conversations going on, but sitting in front of Cassie, you can only hear her side of the table. They might be talking about Tyler and their “relationship” problems.

“I really don’t think he is. He didn’t use his plus one you know.”

A smile forms in your mouth when your phone vibrates in your hand once again.

Mingyu: can you believe the wedding’s so close already

You: times moving so fast

You: i cant believe its less than two weeks away

Mingyu: it feels like it was only yesterday that tom told me he was getting married

“But today, he didn’t seem at all interested, he was really out of it from the start.”

“Maybe seeing dresses all day is not his thing.”

“No but like, I tried every move on him, and he didn’t even bat an eye.”

Bits and pieces of the still going conversation manage to register on your mind, and you realize they’re talking about Mingyu, unaware of your current chat with him.

You: is the boys only hang out getting boring? Its not very polite to be on the phone you know

Mingyu: theyre all playing games, havent looked my way in over 30 mins

Mingyu: besides i much rather talk with you

You: well i wont argue with that

Mingyu: you seem bored too

You: you’re definitely helping me get through the night

“Maybe he’s just not interested in you.”

Olivia teases Cassie, even though her comment is more than just a joke. But why is Cassie so adamant on wooing Mingyu if, according to Olivia, she really likes Tyler?

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

Mingyu: you know what I just realized

Mingyu: I forgot the dance routine already

You: omg me too

You: we might have to meet to practice like you said

Mingyu: we can do it at my place

Mingyu: you up for it?

You: i should ask you that

You: your feet are going to suffer because of me

Mingyu: that’s a risk im willing to take

Mingyu: but I gotta warn you, I take my practice very seriously

You: sure, you can carry me back to my apartment after we're done

Sitting on Mingyu’s couch, waiting for him to get back from the bathroom, you’re too tired to do anything else than looking around his living room. It’s so him. The warm and neutral colors make everything feel cozy, with pictures of him and his family hanging on the walls – no ambiguously romantic photos with unfamiliar girls, and everything is so tidy, not one pillow out of place, even after practicing for over an hour. Out the window, you can see the sun starting to set, and the buildings across the street start lighting up. You recognize all of them. 

All this time, he’s lived so close to you. His building barely a ten minute walk away from yours. You can’t help but wonder, what would’ve happened if you kept in touch, if you just walked two more minutes to the park he frequents, or sent him a follow request on Instagram the few times he popped up on your recommended. It comforts you that at least you have this chance to reconnect with him, to make things right. 

But sounding confident over text is easy, and now, you’ve only danced for the whole time you’ve been here, barely even talked about anything else. 

It’s conflicting, the guilt of meeting with Mingyu behind everyone’s back – even if it’s no one’s business –, the excitement of seeing him alone after weeks of only wedding related stuff, and the actual need to practice the dance so you don’t embarrass yourself, all colliding in your mind, making everything awkward for you. 

Like ten thousand spectators, the windows of every apartment watch you through the glass, just sitting, waiting. Mingyu left only a couple of minutes ago, but after the many times you stepped on him, you wonder if he’s actually hurt. 

“Are you okay? Tell me if I need to call a doctor for your feet!” 

You shout with your head looking towards the bathroom door. His chuckle travels all the way to your ears before he opens the door. 

“I’m fine, I swear.” 

As he comes out, your body tingles with nervousness once again. He sits beside you on the couch, unknowingly making your head spin. 

“You sure? I don’t think feet are supposed to withstand all of that.” 

“I’m okay, just tired, why don’t we rest for a bit?” 

They way he sits, on his side, facing you, and his arm resting on the back of the couch, your eyes can’t help but wander to where his arm muscles start showing. Every variation of the phrase “butterflies in your stomach" could describe the way you feel as he watches you, paying so much attention that you mumble your next sentence. 

“This couch is way too comfortable. It makes me want to just stay here the rest of the day.” 

“Let’s do it! We can even have dinner here. If we order take out, we can tell them to leave it at the door.” 

“That sounds nice, but one of us will have to go get it.” 

“When my roommate comes home, he’ll bring it inside for us.” 

“Oh my god, you have a roommate? When is he coming back? I don’t want to be a bother.” You look towards the entry hallway, like he’s about to come in and kick you out. 

You really don’t want to leave, Mingyu’s company is already becoming one of your favorites, but you hadn’t counted on being around another person, and in their home for that matter. You start to get up from where you’re sitting, worried about having overstayed your welcome, but Mingyu’s hand grabs yours softly and drags you back down. 

“I invited you here. It’s not like you’re trespassing.” 

“But I’ve been here for hours, is it not too much?” 

“I guess I don't want you to leave.” 

His hand hasn't let go of yours, his skin against yours waking up your whole nervous system. You like how it feels when he’s looking at you, but you can’t help feeling too observed under his gaze. 

“Should we practice one more time?” You get up as your other hand takes Mingyu’s free one to try and get him off the couch too. He doesn’t fight your push, but you still struggle to move him barely an inch. 

“Now that I think about it, my feet do really hurt.” 

When he stands up, your hands dreadly separate as you go press play on the song you had paused earlier. 

“You’re a big and strong man, you can handle one more dance.” 

The music starts slowly, and when you turn around to go where Mingyu’s standing, he’s quick to put his hands around your waist and bring you to him. 

Like that day in the dance class, your bodies are quickly coordinated. You’ve been over the same dance for over an hour now, so at this point, every step is engrained in your muscle memory forever. 

“Why don’t you take the lead on this one?” He might’ve felt your sudden confidence in the moves, but fails to realize it’s only because you’re doing it with him. 

“Do you have a death wish? The last time I tried to take the lead on a dance like this, it ended really badly.” 

“But you’re doing good now! I’m sure it couldn’t have been that bad.” 

“Don’t you remember the senior prom? When I made my date trip and he fell onto the chocolate fountain? He got completely covered in melted chocolate.” He shakes his head, making you more confused. “He dislocated his shoulder. You really don’t remember? 

“I don’t-” He chuckles at your story but stops his words when he realizes you don’t get what he wants to say, “We left early.” 

“Oh… I guess you had a good time with your date.” Thinking about him with someone else puts a bad taste in your mouth. 

“I didn’t have a date, I went with the guys.” Somehow, that’s less believable than you being a good dancer. 

“I vaguely remember seeing you dance with a girl. Is my memory failing me?” You remember because you hated it. 

“Maybe I did dance with someone, but I couldn’t score a real date.” 

“You can’t be serious.” 

“I am! Why don’t you believe me? 

“Because I knew at least ten girls who had a crush on you back then.” 

The dance is already forgotten. None of you make the effort to go over the moves. With your arms hanging around his neck and his hands holding on to your waist, you’re just going around in slow circles, eyes connected as your talk turns into something more. 

“Well, I wasn’t interested in them.” 

“But still, you could’ve easily gotten a date.” You could let the subject go, and maybe you should, but you really want to make your point. “I would’ve gone with you.” 

“Don’t say things you don’t mean.” 

“But I mean it.” 

“You wouldn’t have gone with me.” 

“You don’t know that.” 

“Yes I do!” His tone gets serious, and it just makes you more desperate to make him understand. He needs to know he’s wrong. 

“No, you don’t! You would know if you had asked!” 

“I wanted to! 

You stop in your tracks, looking straight into his eyes, seeing little hints of shock on his face as he realizes what he said. If your bodies were closer, you’re afraid he could feel that you stopped breathing for a second. 

“Why didn’t you?” 

“Because I knew at least ten guys who had crushes on you back then,” you’re about to shut him off, but he continues, “and you did end up going with one of them.” 

“So, you did see me.” 

“Yeah, didn’t stay much after that."

None of you know what to say, as your minds work tirelessly to understand what this conversation means. 

“You really should’ve asked me.” There’s so much more you want to say, but you simply can’t. 

“You were kind of popular and, I don’t know… It messed with my head.” 

“I didn’t care about those stupid labels, and I thought you didn’t either.” 

“I know you didn’t, but I wasn’t a confident kid back then, I couldn’t just go up to the girl I liked and ask her out.” 

Your jaw reaches the floor after hearing those words. The girl he liked? 

Speechless for a few seconds, you can only look at him, trying to figure out if he meant to say those words specifically. He seems to be proud of what he said, showing no sign of regret. 

“So, now that you’re all grown up…” you dare to let your fingers caress the skin at the base of his neck, and his hands tighten around you at the touch. 

“One would think that, after so many years, things would’ve changed but-” 

“I don’t believe you’re not confident by now.” 

“That did change, but apparently, other things didn’t, even after growing up.” 

He tilts his head to the side cockily, his piercing gaze making you feel hot all over. 

“Maybe some things aren’t meant to change.” Like an adrenaline rush, it’s your turn to feel confident as one of your hands starts playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “I'm starting to discover some things are not that different for me either.” 

“Could it be, perhaps, the same thing I’m talking about?” His arms wrap around your waist, bringing you closer to him little by little. 

“Hmm, I don’t know, you’re being very vague, I could be talking about still enjoying country music.” You joke so he doesn’t notice your heart beating twice as hard as normal. 

“I think you know what I mean.” His smirk is one new thing about him, not that you’ve never seen it before, but the reason behind it makes it way more thrilling to see now. 

“I want to hear you say it.” 

“You really didn’t know? I mean, back then, I always thought I made it obvious.” His chuckle sends shivers down your spine. 

“I wish I did.” You can’t help but think about how your life would be if you made a move on him all those years ago. “But I never said anything either, I was shy too.” 

“Good thing we can make up for the time we lost.”

His droopy eyes send you down a spiral you have a hard time coming back from, all your insides becoming putty, feeling his want through his embrace, but there’s still one more thing to get to. 

“You know… you say you’re so confident now and whatnot, but I still haven’t heard you say it.” The look you give him is all he needs 

“Fine, you win, I used to like you, and seeing you again made me realize I still kinda really do, I’m always eager to get your attention and to spend time with you.” He pauses to take the quickest breath ever, all while you’re losing yours. “I know we’re not the same people as back then, but if you want to, we can get to know each other, again, more mature and less stupid. I have my regrets about how I handled my feelings in the past, but I won’t make the same mistakes again. And I will ask you on a date after the wedding, just a heads up.” 

“Wow, I was fine with just an ‘I like you’, but it’s nice to see you’re just as down bad for me as I am for you.” You confess with a joke because, how can you possibly answer that? Your brain is barely receiving enough oxygen as it is. 

“And one last thing, I really, really, really, want to kiss you right now.” 

“Then why are you not doing it?” 

It takes a second for the words to register in his head. A second where you only look at each other, almost not believing what’s happening. The air around you gets so thick, so hot, almost unbearably heavy. And just when your hands begin to push his head your way, his lips attack yours.  

All the resurfacing feelings come to life, colliding like a thousand stars that have been running to meet for millions of years. His arms around you bring your body closer to his, forcing you on your tiptoes to follow his lead while his hair tangles between your fingers. 

It's surprisingly slow, yet hungry and desperate, making the other feel everything through the connection of your lips. You move along with him naturally, and when he bites your lower lip as a request for access, you don’t hesitate. His hands creep under your shirt just as his tongue dares to move past your lips, exploring your whole body to his liking. 

Your chests flush together, leaving little to no space between your bodies, and you can do nothing but melt in his embrace. Your hands wander around his arms and back, touching and feeling every muscle they encounter on their way. When his hands travel down your lower back and reach your ass, you sigh on his lips and immediately feel his smirk against you. 

A furious knock on the door makes you both jump and separate, leaving you looking at each other, breathless and with confused faces, until you hear a knock again, as strong as the first one. That’s when Mingyu decides to check his phone and sees it's his roommate, who had apparently forgotten his keys. Both a blessing and a curse. 

“Bro, what the hell? I’ve been calling you for about 15 minutes.” You hear the door opening, followed by a new, deep voice. 

“I told you I had company.” Their voices echo through the hallway. 

When they finally reach the living room where you’ve been awkwardly trying to make yourself look presentable, the roommate's face morphs into something, a mix of surprise and realization. You rush to gather your stuff after muttering some variation of ‘hello’ and 'goodbye' to him. Your heart still pumps twice as fast as normal, and you don’t trust you’ll be able to handle yourself if you stay for longer. 

“I’ll see you on the weekend?” Mingyu asks when you’ve both reached the entry, his hand on the handle, hesitant to unlock the door. 

You want to kiss him again so badly. His lips are parted, still swollen, calling to you to connect them with yours again. 

“Find me when you crash the bachelorette party.” You make your best effort to sound confident and not at all dizzy because of him.  

“You know about that?” 

“The bridesmaids know everything... It’s only a surprise for Olivia.” You peck him goodbye, like a promise for more. And the feeling of his lips on yours lasts all night.

It’s roughly around 1 am. when a high-pitched scream from Olivia announces to everyone at the bar that the bachelor party has officially arrived. 

The effects from all the alcohol you consumed in the last 4 hours are just starting to fade, only a little buzz left. But that doesn’t prevent you from seeing what’s happening all the way across the room. 

Mingyu standing with his hip resting on the barstool, listening to Cassie as she drunkenly asks him something. You want to stop looking, not wanting to let all your previous feelings resurface again, not after the recent development in your relationship with him. But just as soon as you’re about to turn your head the other way, Mingyu interrupts Cassie’s rumbling and tells her something, to which she doesn’t respond, nods awkwardly, and just walks away, leaving him standing there. 

That’s your signal to walk over to him. 

“Looks like I found you first.” 

“Damn, I wanted to get you a drink first.” 

The music and the people drunkenly signing and shouting makes it hard for your voices to reach the other, and Mingyu takes the opportunity to take a step closer to you. 

You stand against the bar as the room grows warmer and warmer the closer his body gets to yours. His height taunts you as he stands against the bar as well, forcing you to look up so you can see the smirk on his face. His fingers play with yours as the intensity of his stare increases. You don’t care that you’re in public, that anyone from the wedding can see you two. Maybe you want them to. 

“How’s your night going?” His hair tickles the side of your face. 

“It was really fun, I might be growing fond of the girls." You don’t remember much, just a vague memory of many different games you played to get drunk, and the feeling of being happy. “How about yours? Don’t tell me you went to a strip club or something like that.” 

“Actually, we did a drunk escape room, didn’t even know those existed until today.”

The closeness between you is getting more worrying by the second, mainly because if you hear his low chuckle next to your ear one more time, you might pass out. 

“That sounds horrible!” You chuckle away from his personal space, only to encounter his hungry eyes already looking at you. 

“It was fun, I wish you could’ve been there.” His honesty has a sultry tone to it that makes your lungs completely empty of air. 

“I’m not sure we would’ve made a good team.” 

“Why? You’re smart! Or at least you were back then.” 

“Hey! I still am!” 

“I really have to get to know this new you.”

The pink and blue lights reflect on his face, giving him the most beautiful sparkles on his eyes, directed at you. 

“It’s not that new, I’m still very introverted, don’t talk much when there’s a lot of people around.” 

“I like that, you’re observant, good thing to be while in a escape room.” 

“We’re still talking about that?” 

“Maybe, maybe not, I don’t really care, I just wanted to spend time with you.” 

“Are you drunk?” You can only ask with a smile plastered on your face, but he shakes his head. 

“You kinda make me feel like I’m a teenage boy again, I don’t know how to explain it.” 

“I think I get it.” You place your hand on his chest, feeling the beating of his heart under it, even harder than the music blasting out of the speakers. 

“You know, back then, every time I had a free period, I would make my friends walk past whatever class you had, just to get to see you, at least for a second.” Out of everything he’s drunkenly confessing, this may be the one that surprises you the most because you really never realized he felt the same. He notices you freezing in place. “Once they found out, I was relentlessly bullied by them.” 

“I sure hope it was worth it.” If the lighting was any better, he'd be able to see the cherry red covering your cheeks and ears. 

“Every second of it.” Everything around the two of you moves slower, like time’s stopping only for the outside world, and the muffled background noises do nothing to pierce the bubble around you. “I really want to take you on a date, a real one.” 

“I would very much like that.” 

You can see the gears turning through Mingyu’s eyes, and you move your eyes down to his lips so he can take the hint. But nothing happens as someone else enters your little world. 

Olivia’s aware that something’s going on, her eyes switching back and forth between the two of you before she speaks. 

“I need your help, I’m sorry to interrupt, but I’m getting worried about her.” 

“About who? What happened?” Mingyu stays behind you as you turn to Olivia, grabbing one of your hands, and his warmth gives you goosebumps. 

“It’s Cassie, she’s been sitting alone in the restroom for I don’t know how long, she's way too drunk and I can’t take care of her.”

You now realize she’s slurring her words, meaning she’s also too drunk and therefore can’t take care of another drunk person, leaving you no choice but to go help Cassie. You look back at Mingyu, who encourages you to go, even if it takes a little too long for his hand to let go of yours. 

The graffitied restroom provides you with a little more light than the rest of the place, and when you enter, you recognize Cassie sitting on the floor inside one of the stalls. Luckily there’s no one guarding the bathrooms because if she’s seen throwing up, it could potentially get you both kicked out. 

You sit on the dirty floor beside her without saying a word, letting her know you’re here to help without giving her a headache. Her forehead’s resting on top of her knees as she hugs her legs tightly. But after a minute or two of silence, you decide it’s best to check if she’s at least awake. 

“Cassie? Are you okay?” Your hand on her shoulder makes her look up at you. 

“I don’t feel so good, I just want to sit down for a while.” She sounds tired, her husky voice giving away all the talking and singing she’s been doing all night. 

“Do you need anything? I can get you a cup of water.” 

“No, please, just stay here a bit, I didn’t want anyone to see me but I don’t want to be alone.” 

“Ok, I’ll stay, let me know if you need something, anything.” 

Time passes by, the music making it easier for you to not get bored. A few people enter the restroom from time to time, too drunk or too in a hurry to notice you both sitting down. Olivia passes by the door a few times, hovering, checking if everything’s okay (and if you’re still in the same position as the previous time). You just smile and nod, letting her go back to her party time and time again. But at last, in one of her check-ins, she finally walks inside. 

“Hey, Mingyu’s looking for you!” Both you and Cassie look up at Olivia, but her eyes point at you. “What do I tell him?” 

You instinctively look to Cassie by your side, and her expression falls. 

“Don’t, don’t go with him.” She finds the strength to plead to you, but she seems more worried than anything. 

“Why? Did he do something? Is that why you’re hiding here?” Olivia asks, and you realize she didn’t leave after you didn’t answer her. 

“No, no, I mean, yes I’m hiding from him, but he didn't do anything, it was me, I embarrassed myself.” 

“Why are you telling me not to go with him then?” 

“Do you like him?” 

“I-” Wow, blunt question out of the blue. 

“You can be honest, it’s fine.” 

“Yeah, I do, I like him.”

Telling them, her, the truth feels kind of freeing. Finally admitting in front of them that you like someone, after not being able to for so many years, it’s like you can finally breathe. 

“Then, for your own good, don’t go with him, he’s seeing someone.” 

“What? How do you know?” That freedom lasts barely seconds before a new weight falls right on top of your lungs. 

“He told me, when the guys got here, he said that he’s been after a girl for years and they recently started going out.” 

“Are you sure? Did he use those words?” 

“I’m not saying it verbatim, I don’t remember it exactly word for word, but that’s what he meant.” 

Could he possibly be talking about you? How recent is ‘recently’ supposed to mean? You haven’t even started officially dating. Is confessing your feelings considered the start of dating? Is it supposed to be this confusing? Are you going to believe her? Not that Cassie’s a liar, but you don’t know the context nor the exact words he used, and she doesn’t know what happened between you and him either. 

“Should I go tell him something?” Olivia's already standing up, your silence not helping the situation. 

“Just-" You don’t want to push him away, but it’s not the time to resolve this. The whole thing is too confusing to be making desperate decisions at this hour of the night, “Tell him to go have fun with the guys, I’m getting Cassie home.” 

The loudest alarm you could’ve ever set up wakes you up with a jump. Your head hurts like your inside out emotions are building houses inside your skull. But the memories still hit you as soon as your eyelids burst open. Some decisions were definitely made the night before. Wrong ones? That’s to be seen today.

And thanks to the gods and Olivia’s always late waking family, you’re not supposed to be at the venue until 11 am. Only bad news, It’s on a luxury complex outside the city. You have time for a real breakfast and a shower, but all the thinking and feeling will have to wait.

You unlock your phone to find the last text conversation open and the messages you barely remember sending stare at you through the dim screen.

Mingyu: you left so suddenly

Mingyu: everything ok?

You: yeah

You: had to take Cass to her place, she wasn’t feeling well

Mingyu: that’s too bad, hope she feels better

Mingyu: you just got home?

You: yep, about to go to bed

Mingyu: great, just checking before i head to sleep

Mingyu: sleep well, big day tomorrow

Admittedly, you were a little dry. Cassie’s words were still lingering on your mind, making you doubt everything. One side of your brain telling you that he was probably talking about you, he explained what he felt and what he wanted and sounded sure and truthful. But, the other part of your brain, the still self-conscious and self-doubting side, also makes valid points. The void years in between your relationship weren’t mentioned in his confession, and you technically aren’t dating. He hasn’t even asked you out yet! It’s too conflicting. But you know you have to face both of them today. After the ceremony.

The taxi ride to the venue is not only long but full of traffic. The sun shining bright directly to your face, the light humming of the driver to the songs of the radio and the occasional car horn on the distance, somehow make it bearable, with all the thoughts about the previous night, switching sides between the he said she said, it’s nice to have something constant while your minds goes on a rollercoaster.

A rollercoaster that doesn’t stop even when you arrive. As soon as you step foot outside the car, Olivia’s mom rushes you upstairs to where the make-up artists set up. There’s no time to admire the beautiful countryside venue. You walk past the door to where the ceremony’s going to be held later, but rush up the stairs without even looking. The green dress already waiting for you at the door, an infinite echo of voices and even more people running around make the atmosphere feel dizzying.

Nothing slows down for even a second. Even when you’re sitting down having your make-up done, around you there’s only people rushing to do everything, stressing about the little details, people running into the room to tell Olivia or her mom about decorations, the wedding planner coming in and out constantly, checking everything’s in order. It’s kind of beautiful how all this mess has the sole purpose of making today the best day for the couple. Even if it doesn’t look like it, no one will remember the dress that wasn’t properly ironed, or the string of hair that had too much hairspray on it, or the too slippery shoes that made it a chore to walk on the tiled floor.

So much chaos happens between the hair and make-up, and then with the photoshoots, you don’t have time to talk to Mingyu. Your eyes would cross from time to time, but those milliseconds of him in a suit glaring at you from across the room are enough, and there’s so much of that you can take before an internal chain reaction begins.

The walk downstairs, after all the make-up retouches and fixes to any rebellious stray hair that didn’t want to stay in place, feels like the first calm and slow moment of the day. As the steps get closer and closer to the bottom floor, the red carpet muffling the clicking of your shoes, your insides feel fire-like when you see Mingyu waiting for you by the final step, an unknowing smile on his face. His eyes drill holes on your figure, scanning you up and down shamelessly.

“You chose this one, I like it.” He whispers by your ear as you walk to the door, where every pair is already waiting. A little smile shows on your face, but it fades when your eyes encounter Cassie’s, watching the two of you with a frown so little you only notice because she immediately relaxes her face.

The music starts before you can say anything to Mingyu, and one by one, each of the bridesmaids start walking down the aisle, arms linked with the groomsmen, gracefully walking forward as the eyes of every guest fall on them. Your arm tangled with his is the first touch you share since many days ago, and even with all the conflict making your mind a blur, your heart speeds up at the feeling of his muscles.

Nothing seems slow anymore, and the ceremony almost goes by without noticing. There isn’t one second where you don’t feel Mingyu’s eyes on you, making it impossible to focus – or pretend to focus – on what the priest is saying.

The moment your brain reconnects with your ears, Thomas delivers the most beautiful vows you’ve ever heard. You met the guy only once, never even spoken to him, but the way he speaks so fondly about Olivia makes your heart clutch in your chest, and your throat tries to fight it, but you end up bursting with tears. But you’re not the only one with a cascade of dramatic tears falling with seemingly no end. As the room fills with applause and even some whistles at the first kiss between the officially married couple, you see some people with tissues, quietly blowing their nose.

But the never-ending rush in time continues, everyone sprinting to sit at their tables for the reception. The last retouches of make-up get done quickly. The girls gossip to kill the time before the dance, because for them it’s moving so slowly, but in the blink of an eye, you’re going out the door once again, just as Cassie taps on your shoulder. You turn to her, expecting her to be angry, or at least to start speaking, but it looks like she’s still figuring out what to say.

“Thank you, for taking care of me last night, I’m sure you would’ve preferred to enjoy the party.”

“I wasn’t going to leave you alone, it’s fine, you don’t have to thank me. Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah, I am! But actually, I wanted to apologize.” Your head spins, dizzy from the world suddenly stopping hearing her words. “I didn’t know there was something going on between you two.”

“There’s not- I mean, not much happened, I didn’t want to cause a fuzz over it.”

“But you should’ve told me you liked him, at least! If I knew about it, I wouldn’t have gone after him.” You see in her eyes nothing but honesty. “I know we’re not as close as before, but these are the things we need to tell each other. It’s the girl code.”

“I don’t really know why I didn’t, I know I should’ve, I didn’t know how.” You’ve now started to go downstairs to the reception, already the time to dance in pairs.

“Look, it’s okay if you’re not comfortable telling me this, but did something happen? Was he talking about you last night?”

You’ve reached where everyone is waiting, and you’re too embarrassed to look up and possibly find Mingyu standing there, leg-melting and breathtaking.

“I thought about it but I don’t know, maybe?”

Back at the reception, the music starts, signaling the newlyweds are about to begin their first dance, meaning in no time you’ll have to step in and dance around them.

“I’m going to ask you three questions and you just have to answer yes or no. There's no need for explanation, okay?”

“O…Kay?”

“So, you two knew each other in school, did you like him?” You nod shyly, not looking in her eyes, embarrassed to be talking about this so openly, “Did he like you?” You nod again, “And did something happen recently that would indicate that he would like to date you in the near future?”

You give her a final nod and finally look up at her. She sighs, taking your hand and squeezing it to make you pay attention.

“Then he meant you dummy! Go, talk to him. He’s been staring at you all day like a lost puppy.”

When you dare to look his way, where you just knew he was standing, he’s looking at you, a little smirk on his lips and subtly motioning he's ready to take your hand. You didn’t notice it was already time, and everyone around you stands in their position.

The pairs start entering one by one, and your smile trembles, feeling the eyes of every guest on you. Your fingers barely graze his, but they feel raw, like you can feel every particle of his hand below yours. The electric fire emerging from where your skin connects with his runs through your veins in record time.

But as soon as the music starts and Mingyu turns you so you’re looking at him, everything is forgotten. The steps come easily, his eyes calm but observing, his hand on your waist guiding you as he did every time you practiced.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” He whispers, not wanting to disrupt the moment, but knowing it’s the only time you’ll get alone.

“I swear I didn’t mean to.”

You panic. There was so much to do and so few words you could come up with to say to him that maybe you unconsciously avoided him by locking yourself up in the make-up room.

“Did I do something wrong?” He doesn’t sound hurt, but rather just plain curious, eager to work this out between you two.

“No! it was just a misunderstanding,” he waits for you to continue, but the part of your brain that makes sense starts crumbling, making it impossible to form a coherent argument, “I- can I ask you something? It might sound stupid, I’m warning you.”

“Go ahead.” He chuckles, his feet continuing to dance while you've already forgotten about it. One of your hands stays on his shoulder, while the other is being held by him, still in the air by your sides, reaching the height of your shoulders.

“You’re not dating anyone, are you?”

He doesn’t let the silence even come close to the two of you, chuckling quietly so you’re the only one who can hear it.

“I’m not, hard to believe I know, but I’m painfully single.”

“Great, I just wanted to make sure.”

“I remember telling you I want to take you on a date.”

“Y-yeah, of course I remember that too."

The pit of your stomach lights up at the remainder of that afternoon in his home, your bodies as close as they are at this moment.

“Then what made you think that?”

“You just, you said to Cassie last night that you started seeing someone recently and, I don’t know, we didn’t technically start dating, so I panicked.” Saying it out loud to him, it sounds ridiculous, but if he thinks that, he doesn’t show it.

“Oh that, yeah, I might’ve gotten ahead of myself, but hey, think of it as manifesting.” He’s so charming that you don’t care that he’s making no sense.

“Next time, don’t tell a drunk girl who’s flirting with you the wrong information. She might spread it around.”

The synchronized chuckle you let out makes you pay attention to the forgotten situation. You’re dancing and haven’t tripped once, like your muscles got a life of their own and remembered every single step. And you suddenly realize how close your body is to Mingyu’s. One hand down the small of your back, pressing just enough to hold you in his personal space, his face close enough that you could concentrate on his breathing and feel the light exhales on your face.

When the music ends, the applause makes you look around, and your cheeks feel warm immediately, noticing all the eyes on every one of you. But the attention is short-lived, as you and Mingyu walk quickly to your table so the couple can do the welcome toasts. You don't miss how he slides your chair closer to his before you sit down.

Sitting by your side, Mingyu’s body and yours are connected by an electric current, drawing you closer. His knee stays glued to yours, and the cut on the side of your dress allows your bare skin to brush against the fabric of his pants. A conversation takes place between everyone at the table, one of the guys telling a story about something funny that happened with Tom back in high-school, but it’s hard to pay any real attention when Mingyu’s fingers start tracing circles on your knee. He’s not even doing to be a tease. It seems like it’s a habit of his, one that you’re just discovering. You don’t stop your fingers from playing with his, and a subtle smirk forms on his lips at your action.

It’s not like you’re doing anything too flashy or indecent, but you do your best to mask your reactions to his touches, to try and keep the people of the table unaware of the not so innocent things going on under the fancy tablecloth. He only notices your changes because he’s paying attention to you. The way your chest rises just a tad bit more when his hand goes a little over your knee, or how you drink from your cold glass of water when he presses on the skin of your inner thigh, but when he’s about to move his hand off of you, you put yours on his to keep it in place. You also notice things throughout the night, for example, that Mingyu isn’t drinking a lot, restricting to one glass of champagne per serving. You do the same, wanting to remember this night in the future.

Mingyu stands up when the dancefloor opens again, turning down an offer to go to the bar for something stronger than sparkling wine. Instead, he reaches for your hand, silently inviting you to dance with him, to which you agree, with a smile and avoiding his eyes. Following behind him, he doesn’t let go of your hand, even when you’ve reached the spot he wanted. People join you on the dancefloor, drunkenly vibing to the dj set, surrounding you, and blocking you from anyone you know. It’s feels almost private. Whatever song is playing on the speakers, it doesn’t prevent you from following your own rhythm in your own world. Your arms wrap around Mingyu’s neck, and both of his hands hold your waist, mirroring the evening at his place.

“So, tell me, what other embarrassing things did you do when you liked me?”

He throws his head back in embarrassment, sighing with a smile before daring to look at you again. His ears turn a light shade of pink, and you swear you can feel his heartbeat between your bodies.

“I really told you that, did I? I was hoping you wouldn't remember.”

“Nope, I remember it very vividly actually.”

“Let’s leave the embarrassing stories for the future, I wasn’t in my best condition last night.”

“You’re making me too curious now, but how drunk did you get last night?”

“Honestly, I was just nervous about seeing you and about tonight.” He might be confessing another embarrassing thing, but behind his truthful tone, there’s something you can’t quite decipher.

“What’s there to be nervous about tonight?”

Your heels allow you to be in his line of sight, and your chests are too close. If you inhaled deeply, you’d be able to feel him on you. He takes advantage of your new height and forces your attention to go to his lips, smirking shamelessly as he thinks his next words.

“Did I tell you how pretty you look today?"

One hand comes close to your face, removes a strand of hair from blocking your view, and tucks it behind your ear.

“Oh, shut up.”

You can’t even think of a snarky response, your brain melting and showing just how much he affects you. Goosebumps spread all across your arms and back at the feel of his hand caressing your skin.

“I can’t, it’s all I’ve thinking about all day, you, this dress, and you in this dress.”

You instinctively hide your face on the crook of his neck, his cologne invading your senses. It’s hard to think of words when he’s looking at you like he wants to eat you whole.

“I got it because of you. Do you really like it?”

Not that you need any confirmation, since he’s told you twice already, but it wouldn’t hurt to hear it from him one more time. Your reveal makes his smirking lips graze your ear, sending shivers down your spine, and his voice drops an octave to answer.

“I love the dress, but I’ll love it more once I get it off you.”

“I hate you.”

You barely manage to say, your chest rising but breathless at the same time. Your body’s automatic reaction is to push him away, and your hands go straight to his chest to try, but of course it’s pointless. His hands catch yours, not letting you leave his personal space. He taunts you by spinning you around, and once you do a full twirl, he grabs you by the waist again and brings your body to his.

“You have no idea how hard it was for me that day when you stepped out, wearing this.” He gets closer to your ear with every word. You hate it and love it. For one, you can hide from his teasing eyes and blush in peace, but on the other hand, you are cheek to cheek with him, his breath fanning lightly on your side, and you can feel he’s still smirking. “You’re lucky there were other people in the room.”

A breath catches in your throat, and you swallow hard. You thank all the gods there are out there for being surrounded by drunk people. Because to anyone on their senses, your reaction to Mingyu's words would be too obvious.

“I really hate you right now.”

It’s getting harder and harder to ignore the heat growing at the pit of your stomach.

“You don’t.”

“I do.”

“I think it’s quite the opposite actually.”

How are you supposed to play hard to get when his hands hold you like he wants to keep you forever?

“You think you know everything.”

You catch your voice about to tremble when his free hand starts going down the side of your arm, from your shoulder down until your hand, and interlocks his fingers with yours.

“If you hate me then, I can’t tell you the secret I’ve been keeping all night.”

“Have you been secretly writing an article about how to break someone’s heart in 10 days?”

“I love that movie, but it has been well over 10 days, I couldn’t make the deadline.”

“Rom-com connoisseur, noted.” You jokingly nod, but not forgetting what’s important. “Now tell me.”

“So, you know how they told us there were rooms available for anyone that couldn't drive home?” You nod, too enthusiastically. “I may or may not have booked one for tonight, and if you want to, there’s space for one more, we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to…” He keeps talking, something about you watching him do something, but you get lost in the way his lips move as he talks, so pink and fast and hypnotizing.

“Isn’t it rude to just leave?”

The question leaves your mouth more to tease him than anything else. You want to be alone with him so badly, feel his body all over yours, his hands everywhere he can reach, ripping this godforsaken dress off you.

Before the last food serving rolls out and everyone scatters to go back to their seat, you sneak out of the reception, but the drunk bodies are not making it easy. Mingyu leads the way with you grabbing his hand and walking behind him. You don’t know if you could’ve managed another teasing touching session under the table.

You take a left turn into the hallway just at the same time as one of Olivia's drunk uncles, a stranger to the both of you, who’s half asleep using the wall to steady himself as he walks. The music echoes through the walls, and you can only look at each other, half about to burst out laughing and half needing to take the others clothes off, as you walk as nonchalantly as possible past the man trying his best to open his door.

Giggling like teenagers, you finally reach your room at the end of the hallway, but the second you enter, the atmosphere changes. Standing by the closed door, shoes off, panting, and frozen in place, you only look at each other. Your breaths regulate, and your smiles slowly fade off your expressions as the realization hits. It’s real. He’s here, and you’re here, in a room just for the two of you. His eyes are bound to your parted lips, but you wouldn’t know, as yours are also unable to leave his.

Like magnets, brutally drawn to each other, your lips finally reconnect in a hungry, desperate kiss. After learning how sweet he tastes, how his lips glide over yours so easily, how he wraps his arms around you to keep you close to him, there was only so much time you could spend in abstinence.

No words needed, the want translating in the way your hands push him against you, his hands traveling across your back, touching and groping everywhere he can reach. After the long day testing your patience, neither of you can slow down.

His fang claws at your bottom lip, making you whimper against him. He drinks in any sound you make, his arms bringing your body impossibly closer to his, almost making you one. No one is in control, both of you just touching and grabbing anywhere you can, desperate for more.

Your mouths reluctantly separate as Mingyu starts leaving a trail of kisses down your neck and biting lightly on your sensitive skin, making you gasp. You can only thread your fingers on his hair, encouraging him to leave any marks he wishes to.

“Is this okay?”

His raspy voice travels to your ears, and you don’t trust yourself to not make unholy noises if you open your mouth to answer. But just as you’re humming, he digs his teeth just above your clavicle, turning your hum into a moan.

He slowly slides the straps of your dress down your shoulders, his fingers teasing your skin on the way down. His hand travels across your chest, only the silky green fabric in between your fiery skin and his teasing fingers. They go over your pointy hard nipples, feeling everything on its way, but not letting it stay anywhere for more than a second.

“Are you going to take it off?”

Your breathlessness makes him chuckle, smug and cocky as ever.

“Rushed?”

“Very. You’re the one that put the thought in my head, now take care of it!” His hands sneak up your back, playing with the zipper of your dress.

“Don’t act so innocent.” His tone goes straight to your core. The fabric around you loosens up as his hand runs down your spine, but he stops before it gets too loose to slip down. “You think I didn’t see the way you looked at me all day? You’re not slick.”

He takes a step back to take off his suit jacket, absentmindedly throwing it to the side without breaking eye contact. But you don't let yourself get shy.

“Who said I was trying to hide it?”

Your hands run from his shoulders to his chest, unbuttoning his shirt one by one as his breathing speeds up. The warmth of his body envelops your hands, your fingers barely grazing the skin above his pants, and his muscles tense at your touch before you slip his shirt off.

“Now who’s the one teasing?”

Pulling on the red tie around his neck, he swallows hard as you bring his head closer to yours, so close you unconsciously flutter your eyes closed. His bare chest rises against yours as you undo his tie slowly. You could tilt your chin up and break the tension once more, but something in you wants to keep teasing him.

A step back is all you need to have his lips chase you, and he opens his eyes, droopy and confused, to find you slipping your dress off. His stare turns surprised and hungry as you reveal yourself for him, but his body stays frozen in place.

“I’m supposed to do that.”

It’s your time to chuckle now, taking a step forward again. His hands slot on your waist instinctively, traveling to your stomach, enjoying the feeling of your soft skin against his hands.

“You’ll get to do it next time.” The sentence is almost left unfinished, a breath getting caught in your throat when his hands dare go up your chest. But they’re gone in a heartbeat, as they reach your face and tilt it so you can properly look at him.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” No teasing tone on his voice.

“I’m literally naked in front of you.” Your hands go back up to his neck, pushing his head slightly down, reaching a hypnotic closeness. “I want this, I want you Mingyu.”

Confirmation is all he needed to let loose, to let the want take over his body and soul. He connects your lips with force, and wastes no time. With his hands on your ass and his tongue working its way inside your mouth, he stumbles backwards until you both fall on the bed.

With you on top of Mingyu, your hands make their way across his chest, his golden skin glistening due to the sweat. You can feel his hard muscles tense under your touch, making him sigh on your mouth when you find his sensitive spots. His hands move to your hips and push you down on him, making you both moan un unison because of the first friction between your cores.

His growing hard grinds deliciously against you. Even with his pants still between you, you can feel how big he is, and the wet patch on your panties grows by the second. Your lips are still smashed together, a mess of saliva allowing your lips you glide faster and hungrier on his, your tongues becoming one, not wanting to separate ever again.

Your hands find their way down his abdomen, reaching where his pants hang on his hips. The absence of a belt makes it easier for you to unbutton them, and he takes the off expertly, all without ever taking his hands off you.

The second your hand sneaks under his underwear, he groans under you, disconnecting your mouths to take a look at you.

“Is it embarrassing to be already close?” His blood red lips are parted, breathing out his confession, and you almost moan, clenching around nothing because of the sight, or his confession, or maybe the whimper he fights when you wrap your hand around him.

“You’re so big, fuck.” You sigh, and the side of his mouth quirks up, but slowly disappears as you start sliding your hand down, smearing the precum on his length.

“I’m not gonna hurt you.”

His eyes have a mix of concern and lust on them, and your body doesn’t know how to react, your stomach flips, your hands tremble, and your underwear grows wetter.

“I know you won’t.”

You climb down on him, your eyesight reaching where his boxers begin to tent. His gaze follows you, like he can’t believe the reality of what’s happening. You take off the last piece of clothing left on his body, and his dick springs free, standing proud and angry red in front of your eyes. The throb on your throat makes you move forward, wrapping your lips around his leaking tip.

“Wait. Don’t.” You look up at him but he’s facing the ceiling, ears red and eyes closed. “I can’t.”

“I haven’t done anything.” You play innocent, and a smirk appears on your face when he finally looks at you, resting on his elbows.

“Exactly, that’s why I can’t, I need to have a little bit of pride left.”

“What do you suggest we do?” You slowly climb up on him again, his hands moving to your hips like they got a life of their own. One hand on his chest and one hand on his jaw, you kiss him softly, and he melts at your touch.

A soft moan is heard, could be from him, could be from you, but your mind is too clouded to care when he rolls his hips against yours, following the pace of your lazy kiss. A rush of arousal takes over your body when he presses you harder against him, his length sliding perfectly with your core, your wetness making it easier to reach every point that makes you gasp.

“I want,” his lips stop working on yours, but his arms keep you from separating. You feel his every breath, every gasp at the friction, and his lips graze yours when he speaks, “I want to taste you.”

“Fuck.” He might just be able to feel the new rush of wetness dampening your panties further and smearing around his hard below you. His hands push your hips up his body. He told you what he wants, and he’s showing you exactly how he wants it. “Are you sure? I don’t want to crush your skull.”

“I wouldn’t mind that, at least I’d die happy.”

“Well, I can’t argue with that if you want it.”

The chuckle he lets out reverberates from his chest up through your whole body. There’s not much you can do besides complying with his wants, especially with the way your body’s reacting to the sole idea of it and the way he’s moving you to where he wants.

His hands sneak under the strings of your underwear, and as you climb higher and higher, he removes them easily, leaving you bare on top of him.

“You’re so wet, shit.” Your pussy pulsates just above his face. You can’t see his reaction, but you for sure can hear it, “I would’ve done this sooner if I knew this was waiting for me.”

From your point of view, his whole face is covered, by you, on top of him, only his messy hair laying on the mattress can be seen. A view that’s dizzying and hypnotic at the same time, and you can’t think of any answer to give him. His breath on your wet core makes you shiver, but you’re afraid to sit down, afraid you’ll hurt him.

Mingyu senses your hesitation and gives you no more time to doubt. His head rises until his tongue meets your folds, flattening on you, desperate to make you feel good. The sudden stimulation makes your legs tremble, and you would've fell on his face if it wasn’t from his hands still holding your hips.

He starts making out with your cunt, moaning and groaning against it like this is also pleasurable for him. His tongue finds every place that makes you gasp, moan and whimper, and with every lap at your folds, a nasty wet sound accompanies it.

A shaky moan escapes out of you when he envelops your clit with his lips and sucks lightly, making you grab the headboard so you don’t fall on him.

You must’ve fully sit on his mouth in your search for support, because he moans louder against your pussy, and you can feel everything. His lips and tongue working to drink every drop of arousal that leaves you, discovering every sensitive spot you didn’t know about.

The tip of his nose bumps your clit just as his tongue finds its way inside your pulsing hole, and you instinctively move your hand down to pull at his hair. The action encourages him to go faster, harder, and when you grind on his face and he groans like he’s enjoying it, you let go.

Riding him, chasing your high, you’re using his tongue for your own pleasure. Your hand on his hair tightens, and you lose the little control you had of your throat. But the unfiltered sounds you make just push him harder. Every one of your senses is clouded. The wet sounds, the way he moans against you, his tongue already knowing where to go to make you squirm, everything culminates without warning.

You cum on his tongue faster than you have ever before. Your thighs tremble at either side of his head, and you realize you’re crushing him between them. But he doesn't let you get up. His tongue continues to work on you,

He cleans you up, drinking every last drop of arousal smeared on your skin. You spasm over him every time he –not so accidentally– flicks your clit with the tip of his tongue, starting to get you overstimulated.

You use the strength you have left to push his head back, and take advantage of his surprise to plop down on his side, your back on the mattress and your pussy finally away of his eager mouth.

“Are you okay?”

From the corner of your eye, while you try to recover, you see Mingyu doing his best to clean the lower side of his face.

“Yeah, fuck, that was a lot.” You manage to say in between breaths. “I need a second.”

“If you’re too tired, we can st- fuck.”

You don’t give time to overthink, quickly getting on top of him again, your swollen dripping cunt right on top of his still hard cock.

“Second's over.” Only a little smirk is the warning he gets before you’re grinding on top of him again. All of your juices mix as you slowly ride back and forth, his length sliding between your wet folds deliciously. “I’m clean, and on the pill, are you?”

“On the pill? Unfortunately not.” How he manages to make you laugh even on your horniest moments will forever remain a mystery. “But I’m clean, I’ve never had sex without a condom before.”

“Me neither. I guess this will be a new experience for the both of us.” The sole thought of it makes his dick twitch under you.

“Are you sure?” His hand cups the side of your face, and his eyes look at you with such care that you could melt in an instant.

“Yes, I don’t want to wait anymore. We’ve waited long enough.” That seems to relax him, his hands beginning to roam freely across your torso.

Sliding forward makes the veins of his cock drag along every sensitive spot and you both moan before his tip finally prods at your entrance. A loud hiss comes out of him as you align yourself with his length and push his tip in.

But before you can go any further, he wraps his arms around your waist and turns you around so your back is against the mattress. You gasp at the sudden change, and when he starts slowly sinking into you, filling every possible space inside you, you lose your breath.

His cock being covered by your fluids makes it easier, and when he finally bottoms out, so deep you feel him everywhere, you hear him trying to muffle a moan. Your gummy walls clamp around him, trying to get used to his size. The twitch of his length feels stronger while inside you, and you know he’s trying to resist the urge to pound into you.

“Move, please, I need you.” Your pathetic whimper triggers another smirk out of him, and as he moves down to give you a soft kiss, his eyes darken.

“Whatever my girl wants.”

The slow drag of his cock as he starts sliding it out almost make you delirious, but before his tip slips out, he snaps his full length right back in, making your body jolt upwards. You can't speak properly, a curse you can’t even hear leaves your mouth before he repeats the action, again and again.

“So deep, Mingyu, fuck.” The brutal pace he sets has him abusing every single sensitive spot inside you, even the ones you didn’t know about, hitting relentlessly where it makes you scream, and you’re seeing stars.

“You don’t say my name often,” his voice is raspy and deep, almost mirroring the way his cock pistons inside of you, “I like how it sounds coming out of you."

Your palms are against the headboard and you’re sure the bed hitting against the wall can be heard from other rooms, but when one of his hands sneak between your bodies and starts circling your clit, you stop caring all along.

The grinding of your hips matches his rhythm, accentuating everything as he drives you closer and closer. With his face just above yours, you can only look him in the eyes and let him watch your face contort in pleasure feeling every vein of his cock dragging inside of you. With any other person, you would be self-conscious, but as he finds that spot inside you that makes you squirm, you forget the world around you and focus on grabbing his strong arms for support.

His teeth find your neck again, biting and kissing on your soft skin, pushing you closer and closer to the edge, and he doesn’t stop drilling his hips into you. Somehow, you feel him deeper with every thrust, and the only thing you can do is claw your nails on his arms and back, encouraging him more and more.

“You’re so tight, shit.” His hips stutter when you clench hearing his voice. “Tell me you’re close, please, fuck, I don’t now how long I got."

“Yes! Yes, don’t stop.” You tighten impossibly harder around him when you feel him pinch one of your nipples. He’s literally everywhere, stimulating every spot to tip you over the edge.

Your arms and legs cage his body so close to yours that he has trouble keeping up with his pace, but that doesn't stop him from pounding hard. The sound of skin your skin hitting against his and his groans are like music to your ears.

It's when his thumb teases your clit again that you finally snap.

You tremble around him, moaning uncontrollably as he keeps pounding into you, prolonging your orgasm as he pleases and chasing his own. But he’s far gone too. Your sweet moans in his ear and your walls clenching around him so perfectly are enough to have him spilling inside you.

Sleepiness is about to get you when you feel him sliding out you and plopping by your side. Naturally, one of his arms slots under you as your head rests on the crook of his neck.

There’s silence while you both catch your breaths, his hand softly drawing circles on your back and yours on his chest. As reality sinks in, giddiness fills your entire body, and you can’t contain the smile growing against his golden skin.

“Did you do any embarrassing things back then?” The sudden interrogation makes your cheeks turn red.

“I’m guessing there’s no way out of this, right?” You avoid looking up at him to not make your shyness obvious, and you feel him shake his head as an answer. “Fine… you know… your fangs?”

“My fangs?!” Amusement and surprise mix on his voice.

“Fuck this is so embarrassing.” You’re caged between his arms but you manage to cover your face with your hands.

“You liked my fangs?”

“I still do, but yeah, I would just draw little fangs everywhere, I guess no one ever noticed because they looked more like vamp–"

“Would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow?” He luckily interrupts your embarrassing rant with his pending question.

“Already? You want to see me again that badly?” You feel the chuckle on his chest before you hear it, and at that moment, it’s the best sound you’ve ever heard.

“I plan on taking you on dates at least three times a week. You’re never getting rid of me now.” He embraces you in his arms, chests flushed together, and when you tilt your head up, he’s already looking at you, expectant for your answer. “So, what do you say?”

“Yes, I would love to have dinner with you tomorrow.” The smile he gives you might be the most blinding smile you’ve ever seen. “But just so you know, I do not have sex on first dates.”

thank you so much for reading♥♥ sorry this took so long to finish

[kyracooneyx23]

would you be able to write something based of Kristie's tiktok with her and sam where sam comes in and shows off the ring but r is kristie?

6ft 5 - Sam Kerr

Sam Kerr x lionesses!reader

summary - you're filming a tiktok video and Sam wants everyone to know your hers

You set up the phone on the bathroom sink, adjusting the dress you were wearing before crouching down to press play. When the sound plays you lip sync to it applying some lip gloss at the same time.

'I'm looking for a guy in finance,' You begin standing up straight and moving around slightly 'trust fund, 6-' Your cut off by the door opening and your fiancée Sam comes in from behind you. She must've heard the sound as she gives you a slight nudge to get you out of her way as she walks up to the camera and shows off her engagement ring.

You laugh at her actions continuing to lip sync to the sound but you can hardly say anything as your laughing to much. When the video ends you grab your phone watching it replay still giggling at Sam's actions.

'Wow baby,' you say feeling Sam's arms wrap around your waist as she stands on her tiptoes to place her head on your shoulder looking at the video 'you really had to show off that ring.' You laugh.

'Had to show everyone who you really belong to.' She whispers into your ear making you shiver. 'Not some silly 6'5 guy with a trust fund.' She states pulling away from you and walking into the kitchen. You follow behind her eyes still glued to your phone as you post the video captioning it with a simple 'let's be honest' knowing the fans would love the rare Sam content. Once finished you turn your attention back to Sam.

'I mean your definitely not 6'5, more like 4'5' You give your fiancée a cheeky grin, her being much shorter than you was something you always made sure to tease her about.

'Shut up, I'm only a couple inches shorter than you, not my fault your whole family is giants' She groans leaning into your side. You stroke her head jokingly.

'It's ok I love you no matter your height.' You tease her placing a light kiss on her forehead.

'I think it's time to go, we've got a booking for 6 and the ubers almost here.' Sam tells you, and you can tell she is sick of the topic of her height. You agree following her out of your apartment to outside, waiting for your ride.

lt was nice to be back with Sam, neither of you had really liked the long distance relationship when you had played for Barca and she was here in England, it meant you hardly got to see each other except for the shortest of breaks you had. Your move to Arsenal had come as a surprise, all the fans had expected you to sign a contract extension with the team you had so much success with but you didn't care you'd do anything to be with Sam. Especially after she had proposed and your wedding was coming up.

For the first time in a while you had time just the two of you, as she had sustained and ACL injury and you had fractured you're foot. Both of your international teams were off on camp meaning you had a well earned break together.

The uber arrived and you both got in the back. You checked the video you'd just posted seeing it had already gone viral everyone commenting different versions of the lyrics that more fit Sam's personality, you found a few funny ones and read them to Sam as she didn't have tiktok. 'babe.' you say grabbing the Aussies attention.

'mhm.'

'These are some of the comments the fans wrote from the video.' You tell her and watch as her face slightly pales.

'I don't know whether to be scared or not.' She says causing you to laugh as you chose some of your favourites.

'one of them said looking for a masc in football, 5'5, trust fund,' you laugh at how short they thought Sam was, knowing that would not make her happy. 'oh this ones even better i'm looking for a girl in football, Chelsea, 5'4 brown eyes.' You watch Sam tense up.

'These people clearly know nothing about football, if they were true fans they'd know I'm actually 5'7.' She says grumpily and you crack, laughing so hard that tears threaten to fall.

'Chill Sammy, its just height nothing to be so defensive about.' You tell her. She sighs and you give her a side hug, she buries her face in the crook of your neck placing soft kisses everywhere, mood completely changing from before.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _

After a nice dinner out with Sam, you decide to drop a photo dump form your night, including the video from earlier. Making sure to tease her more.

yourinstagram just posted

liked by keirawalsh, hayleyraso and 76,540 others

yourinstagram fun night with my little shorty 🫶🏽 @samanthakerr20

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samanthakerr20 I am 5’7 for every smart ass about to comment x 😘

user1 y/n is definitely making fun of her

katrinagorry midget

samanthakerr20 shut up

user70 Looking for a girl in soccer. Sam Kerr. Captain. Backflips.

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[1moreff-creator]

Corrigendum - Literature Girl Insane Analysis

Updates After CH2 PT2

More than a year ago, the entire DRDT fandom was thrown on its head when the Literature Girl Insane David MV dropped. And with the help of DRDT Tumblr for mystery finding and interpretations, about a year ago I made “A Full Vivisection of the David MV,” a two and a half hour video going over everything I could. While I still think the video mostly holds up even after CH2 PT2, there’s quite a few things that require an update. Let’s go over them, shall we?

(Is this a correct use of the word "corrigendum"? I don't know, but it's close enough for me to use given the connection to the book theme we got going on :v)

As a warning, though, this post will more or less assume that you’ve watched Vivisection, as some sections might be complete gibberish without the context of my previous interpretations of this thing.

Spoilers up to CH2. CW: Suicide, murder, hanging, CH2 execution, gun violence, blood

I’ll go through the recontextualizations in order of appearance in the MV, though first: 

Footnote 14 Solution, Tally 5 Correction

So these two things aren’t related to Part 2, but instead codes already in LGI. Since Vivisection came out, the footnote 14/Roman numeral I code got solved, and I’ve been informed that the solution for tally 5 I hinted at in the video was, while not wrong in the sense that you could arrive at the code using it, not the actually intended solution. Basically I said to pay attention to line breaks, when you’re actually supposed to ignore them, and that meant that one character had to be ignored when in reality the real solution works perfectly fine without ignoring it. Sorry, the line break thing was just commonly repeated advice given on Tumblr at the time and I don’t know why I never double checked how accurate it was :v

The proper solutions can be found in my Secrets Masterpost, so I won’t repeat them here. The Roman numeral I code, attached to Xander via crosswords, returned “I have always looked up to you,” which is perfectly in line with both the things David states in 2-12 and the conclusions drawn about how he feels towards Xander from the MV. As for tally 5, that will be addressed later. 

Yoidore Shirazu Lyrics

Another thing that happened was the release of the Elliot MV, Yoidore Shirazu. While the MV itself is not particularly for our purposes, I'm bringing it up to double check a thing with the lyrics.

You might remember that a big chunk of Vivisection was informed by "Language Theory," the idea that some lyrics' translations were specifically changed to fit better with David. This was supported by footnote 5, "As the translation has been intentionally botched in many parts, it should not be considered accurate," as well as the fact that Coleena Wu was listed in the credits, meaning her translation was used as a base for the David MV even though there were many differences between the David MV's lyrics and her version.

Thus, when I saw that Yoidore Shirazu credited Magenetra for the English lyrics, I figured I'd check if it happened again. And yes, there are a few lines here and there where the Elliot version is slightly different from the original translation. While I won't get into all of them in this post, a particularly notable change is "my muddy, obstructed and broken vision of the future, it's not half bad" in the original changing to "my muddy, obstructed, broken future, it's not half bad" in the Elliot MV, for example.

What does this tell us about the David MV? Well, I would argue that if dev decided to change a few lyrics in an MV where word placement isn't as important as in LGI, presumably just to make them fit better with Elliot or because dev just prefers certain wording (I don't see any other reasons the translation would be different), then it's very possible that they also consciously changed a few LGI lines to fit better with David. Maybe. In other words, I believe this is an extra argument to the validity of Language Theory, though I could also see it as an argument against ("maybe dev just doesn't care about sticking so close to the translations they use") :v

Now let’s actually go from the start of the MV to the end, shall we?

Color Connection Theory: Orange

In Vivisection, I said (words more words less) that while in a vacuum orange would probably go to Ace, the context of some of the lines seemed to fit Xander better, with the argument that the trailer for the series assigns orange as the color of the first letter of Xander’s name in a hypothetical class trial. The main argument was that Orange “that guy” appeared next to Green “this guy” (Hu/Teruko, leaning Hu) and Black “you” (possibly Mai), and lumping Ace in with characters who seemed much more important than him at the time seemed… strange.

Since then, Ace has gained a notable amount of importance to this particular part of the story, given the whole blackened thing. As a result, I would argue his inclusion as Orange is now more likely than Xander’s. Take a look at the start of the first chorus, for example, and you’ll see that putting Xander as red (which would be redundant if he’s also orange) makes for a nice, neat reading in the context of this trial.

[Literature Girl Insane] Even if you cry, make noise, shout, go mad the world won’t change!

Arei: “Even if you cry about hurting Eden, you’ll still always be a horrible person.”

Hu: “Even if you make noise to make yourself useful, you’re still the same hopeless child who attempted suicide three times.”

Ace: “Even if you shout, you’ll always be a coward.”

Xander: “Even if you go mad, you’ll always be a good person at heart.”

“No matter what, you people (the world) won’t change.”

What a lovely worldview David has! 

There’s also this instance, "let's play!":

[Literature Girl Insane] With anonymous hopes let's play!

Which makes sense given Ace is “playing the killing game” by… killing in the game. Foreshadowing or am I insane? These are not mutually exclusive. 

Hand Holding

dev why /affectionate

So, yeah. Arei holds David’s hand the same way Ideal Country Woman does. At least we’ve got near 100% confirmation that the weird line of white pixels is not a glove or anything, but rather a bend of the wrist as expected. 

Now we have to ask what Arei’s connection to this mess is. Thankfully, I can at least draw a connection between Arei and the surrounding context of the scene, so we’re not going in completely blind. As a reminder, here’s the interpretation I arrived at for the “tunnel scene” that directly precedes Miss Hand Holding’s appearance.

[Extract from Vivisection] David gives Xander the order to "escape the tunnel," so open himself up to love others. However, "but," loving David is a bad idea, because he's a monster who's better off dead. His opinion, right? So he asks himself, where should Xander escape? "Where to?" In other words, who should Xander like and be friends with?

The connection to Arei should be more or less clear, provided you replace Xander's name with her. There’s two ways to take it. Arei opened herself up to David, “escaped the tunnel on his direction” per say. And given what happened directly after, you could say it led to a “disastrous scene.” Alternatively, if David genuinely wanted to accept Arei’s proposal to be “less shitty together,” if he “escaped the tunnel in Arei’s direction,” that too could be considered a “disastrous scene” because Arei died. That one’s admittedly a pretty big if, butconsidering some of the stuff David says…

David [2-10]: Unless, of course, you were Arei. That girl wanted desperately to prove herself as a "friend" to Eden. And yet she completely lacked any experience with what "friends" were actually like. [...] What could she know about "friendship," after all? Someone like her, who had not once experienced kindness in her entire life up until now? [...] [Breaking down] It's... It's so... Ahaha. It's just so foolish. For someone to take advantage of Arei like that... It's absolutely unforgivable. All she wanted was to change. What a reprehensible person this killer is. I look forward to seeing their painful execution.

Yeah he might have cared. 

So, okay, Arei can be connected to the surrounding context so this isn’t completely out of left field, but we still have the possibility of a further connection to the Mystery Girl. As you might recall, this girl is either Diana Chiem (based on certain similarities with David and because revealing Ms Naegi like this would be weird) or Ms Naegi (because Diana isn’t in the Cast List, while Naegi is). I don’t see any immediate connections to Naegi, so we’re left with Diana, who also has little connection.

Of course, the number one takeaway is that Arei reminds David of Diana (or Ms Naegi) in some way, so we can infer Mystery Girl might have supported David despite knowing about his manipulative nature, especially possible since she's positioned in the MV in a way where she's the "(so-called) ideal country." I'm about to ramble a whole lot more about other possibilities, but this is probably what we're meant to get from this.

If we’re allowing a small amount of unhingedness, another connection that could be drawn is between Arei’s family situation and David’s. Arei also had sisters, but they treated her horribly until Arei ruined their lives. Translated to Diana, this could mean that David treated her badly, that she did something to harm him, or both. If their relationship turned bad during Hope’s Peak time, it could explain why Footnote David, presumed to be David before losing his memories, claims she doesn’t exist, when Killing Game David speaks about her openly. Did he try to cut ties with her or something, and tries to pretend she doesn’t exist? Again, unhinged and probably not what the takeaway is meant to be, but we know less than zero about Diana, so it's not impossible.

Alternatively, though, it's worth noting that Mystery Girl and Arei tilt their heads in opposite directions, which could symbolize they're opposites in a way. Taken with the previous interpretations, this could mean either Mystery Girl supported David without knowing about his motive secret (opposite of interpretation 1), or that Arei's family situation is opposite Diana's, aka David had a good relationship with his sister (opposite of interpretation 2).

But speaking of insane, would you believe me if I told you that this visual similarity could, alternatively, be evidence for literally the most unhinged theory in the entire Vivisection? That is, the ridiculous deduction which is arrived at by analyzing the objects in the “suspicious gaps” attached to footnote 11, “I admit to lying. There is no one named OOOOO OOOOO. I am, and always have been, an only child," as well as the Catch-22 quote that comes directly after. Full explanation in Vivisection, but here’s the theory. 

[Extract from Vivisection]  So, first, I think the footnote is a double lie. David's lying about lying. He does actually have a sister but, for some reason, he's trying to deny it. He's pulling an Arturo: something happened with his sister, and he's trying to distance himself from it. That's where the snake with the blood and the safe come in, with the rope possibly implying a suicide. Remember the family history of depression? [...] So, it's possible Diana died. [...] It's also possible that whatever happened to Diana would have been hinted at in David's motive video. [...] Yeah, that's my explanation for the TV. But, why would this bad thing which happened to Diana be in David's motive video? That would imply David doesn't remember it. That's what the Snowden line could mean. [...]

Yeah remember that insane thing? Well, Arei died by hanging, so it’s possible Diana also died by hanging, aka suicide. This connection doesn’t make the theory any less unhinged, but it’s there. 

I hate the things I love, and I love the things I hate

As a refresher, this screen is about Xander, indicated mainly by the references to electrocution literally framing the scene. Nothing’s actually changed here, mind you, I just wanted to point out that it’s interesting that so far, we’ve only seen David talk about Xander with love, and we haven’t really seen the whole “I hate” part yet. Curious to see how that will develop later.

suspicious gaps

Still zero clue, I’m just putting it here because it’s still killing me.

V. Right now, why do you go insane? [Ace's numeral]

We should’ve known, guys… Ace’s numeral is literally right next to Arei’s (IV), not just in song position, but numerically. Incidentally, that means both killers so far have been in multiples of five (Min with X, Ace with V), so, uh, Whit (XV), anything you wanna tell us about CH3?

(I don’t think he’ll be the CH3 killer I’m just being silly :p)

Anyways, the big update here is related to the background text, “a cat has 9 additional lives.” This was already pointed out by treescanfly, and that is that Thanatophobia, Ace’s execution, featured 9 different execution methods (scythe - illness - fire - falling - murder - drowning - lightning - firing squad (execution)). Looks like horseboy really was a catboy all along!

XIII. or [not to be?] [Teruko's numeral]

The interpretation of the quote itself, that it’s a reference to Teruko’s suicidal tendencies, hasn’t changed. It’s only gotten more explicit.

Teruko [2-16]: Killed? I doubt it. As if something so kind could happen to me.

:(

Not much else here, though it seems Teruko might start rejecting the suffering associated with being the Omelas child given her talk with DefaultTV, so that’s fun.

Footnote 6, “[Prayer]”

So what I’m about to say is technically a connection that existed since LGI’s realease, but was just a bit too insane for me to even think about back then. 

Basically, you know how Mai is referred to as a “God” in this video, because of her numeral and the arrow? Well… what if that’s connected to this footnote? And, I don’t know, Min is praying to Mai?

Again, unhinged even for my standards, but with the confirmation that XF-Ture Tech is in some form behind the killing game… anything that puts Min in a weirdly plot relevant position (such as inexplicably having a Mai connection beyond what we saw in Bonus Episode 1) should be at least written down for posterity, if nothing else. 

That's my way of saying- Please write about Min, guys. I miss her :(

Footnote 12

“Majority rule” is known to be the fairest method of making decisions for a group. That's why murderers never complained when we voted for them to die.

In Vivisection, I primarily argued the meaning of this footnote through the lens that David may have genuinely believed he had driven Arei to suicide, and thus believed he was the blackened. This turned out to be horribly wrong, so we course correct. 

Instead, this simply seems to be what David was hoping would happen when he pulled out the magical girl transformation, albeit stylized with an impossible 16 people vote. The screen that flashes after just seems to reflect what David thinks would actually happen if a blackened won, or just what will happen by the end of the killing game no matter what: “Everyone will be executed.” That’s based on this line:

David [2-12]: 15 lives. Some of them are very dear to you. And your own life as well. Is there anything at all that could be more important to you than those 16 human lives?

Where David talks about sacrificing the full 16 lives of the participants, seemingly without taking into account that the blackened wouldn’t actually die in his plan. Because of that, it’s inferred that David doesn’t actually think the blackened would survive even if they won the trial. 

Other than that, the footnote seems to just be a direct reference to what Teruko says in the trial:

Teruko [2-15]: We determine who lives and who dies by a majority vote. In other words, the opinion of everyone who *isn't* you.

Which, uh... makes things easier, so I'm not gonna read into it much further :v

“What is the most important thing?” / Mistaken alphabet

Still no idea what these two things are about, that’s why I’m bringing them up :v

Original

[Extract from Vivisection] So, what I think is the best idea is that all the characters [referring to Color Theory] got the word. [...] I think it makes more sense to relate them to the meaning of "original style" under my interpretation, where "original style" means a change of heart.

The interpretation from Vivisection seems to hold strong, as MonoTV did actually have a “change of heart” of sorts, albeit brief. Hey we take the Ws where we can get them >:D

Two Eyed Xander

The theory discussed in Vivisection that David might hold memories from Hope’s Peak times was seemingly debunked by a tweet from the dev, even if the thread referenced in the link was later deleted. I did say in Vivisection that I didn’t believe the theory even if it was cool, so… we’re chilling. 

Of course, though, we did get confirmation that David knew about Xander before Hope's Peak, so the appearance of Xander with two eyes was meaningful! Cool!

Correct/Incorrect (Tally 5)

This is going to discuss the unlisted video linked in the footnotes of Vivisection, which I am well aware most of you probably didn’t watch given the view count. In any case, the thing I said there, which I also said in my Mai post, was that tally 5 could imply David had been involved in the weird revolution against Hope’s Peak that Xander and Mai had going on. While this is still certainly possible, given what was said in 2-12, it seems more plausible that tally 5 actually references David taking on Xander’s dream during the killing game.

David [2-12]: I don't care how low I'll sink, or how despicable I'll have to become. I'll do anything to carry on Xander's ideals by ending this killing game, even if it means I have to dirty my hands.

Yeah, the dream of killing everyone, that one. I say this not only because we know David “threw away his humanity” for it, but also because the image itself shows David holding Xander’s jacket, which would imply this is being said after Xander’s death. Thus, during the killing game. 

Numeral IX - Look, aside from that, give me the usual medicine [Levi's numeral]

Well, he sure needs medicine alright! Yeah that’s the best answer I currently have about what in the hell this numeral means, so we’re going with this. 

That said, points to Vivisection me, because the “Levi is Jupiter protecting Earth from asteroids” interpretation ended up being pretty solid. 

Clock Fork

You know, the theory that Eden was the one to rip out Xander’s eye based on the clock in LGI existed before I made Vivisection, I just… didn’t invlude it. The one unhinged theory I don’t mention ends up being true, huh? Well, there’s that. Not much else to say, if you're deep into DRDT lore you already know the implications of a bloody fork.

-

And… that’s about that! Although I had quite a few comments to make and things to add, actual corrections were few and far between, which I’m happy about! Mind you, there's probably a few Vivisection statements here and there I'm forgetting about, but still. Hope you enjoyed this little corrigendum, and if you made it this far, you deserve your own Jupiter-Levi to defend you in your time of need! See you later!

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

Could you do one where the whole band is in the studio and reader is so desperate that she rides axl in front of everyone. Preferably the original line up in the current era please I love you❤🌷

A/n: I may have gone a little crazy with this but that's ok because who doesn't love the whole pretty boy band <3

Warnings: Smut, gang bang, riding, fingering(f receiving), hand jobs, breeding kink, if you think I missed anything please let me know otherwise enjoy :3

Guns N’ Roses was finally back from tour and you couldn’t have been happier to get to be with Axl again. You called everyday while he was away, with the calls often ending in phone sex, but it wasn’t enough.

You knew from the get go with him that you wouldn’t be able to be with him as much as you might have liked to be, it was just part of being with someone in a band. Didn’t mean you didn’t miss him, in more ways than one.

You’d spent the first few days together, as per usual, but one morning you woke up to find him getting ready to leave.

“Hey, babe, where’re you going?” You asked as you walked into the bathroom where he was.

“Going to the studio today.” He answered through a mouthful of toothpaste. You glanced at his reflection in the mirror then back to him.

“Why? You guys just got back from tour.” He spat into the sink and rinsed his mouth.

“Yeah, where I had a lot of time to think of new songs.” He explained. He planted a kiss on your forehead before heading out of the bathroom and to the walk-in closet. “We’re going to a studio to work on the instrumentals of some of them for our next album.” You watched as he sorted through clothes.

“What about me?” You asked, looking up at him with a small pout.

“What about you?” He asked with a chuckle.

“You expect me to just sit here all day?”

“Don’t you do that a lot anyway?” You glared at him, arms crossed over your chest and he gave you a kiss instead of apologising. “It’s only a few hours and then I’ll be home again.” You scoffed. He started changing in front of you, you watched him shamelessly.

“I’m coming with you.” You stated and started picking out your own outfit.

“No you’re not.” He looked at you with a confused expression. “What would you even do?” You shrugged.

“Nothing.” You said as you found an outfit for yourself. “But I want to be with you, so I’m coming.” He stared at you for a moment before deciding that he’s not going to be able to change your mind.

“Fine, be ready in ten minutes or I’m leaving without you.

You finished getting ready, it took longer than ten minutes but you knew he wouldn’t leave without you, and of course he didn’t. He was still waiting in the kitchen on his phone, completely having lost sense of time.

Upon entering the studio you were met with familiar faces all around. Slash was looking down at his Les Paul, Izzy was watching him and strumming along a rhythm to it. Steven and Duff were talking about dogs. At least you assumed so since they were showing each other pictures of dogs.

They all greeted you and Axl when you came in. Axl guided you to the couch and sat next to you, throwing an arm around you and holding you close to his side.

They were all talking about one thing or another, the tour, home life, stuff like that before actually diving into what they came there for which was the next album.

You were bored out of your mind. No one cared when you went on your phone, you didn’t really have much reason to be there anyway other than them asking your opinion on some things, which lyric fit better, whether or not they should add more solos. You enjoyed helping when you could but you were so fucking bored you were losing your mind.

You started reading about Axl, finding smutty fics about him to pass the time. It did help, to a point. After a few minutes of reading all you wanted was to act it out.

You knew he had his phone in his pocket so you texted him, saying how needy you were. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and looked at it, glancing back at you before responding. He told you to go deal with it in the bathroom. You huffed and stayed seated on the couch.

As they kept talking you decided ‘fuck it’ and started pushing the joint in your thumb against your clit through your thin, summer shorts. It wasn’t much but it was some form of friction, friction you were craving.

You kept your eyes on your phone for the most part but when you heard Slash’s low chuckle you had to look up. His glasses covered his eyes so you couldn’t see exactly where he was looking but you could tell he was looking at you, watching you touch yourself. His hand covered his mouth but he was smiling, you could see it in his cheeks. That much was a motivator to keep going.

You spread your legs and reached your hand into your shorts, continuing to touch yourself but this time with a viewer. Slash kept watching, smiling, chuckling to himself.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Slash?” Axl finally asked. His tone wasn’t angry, even though you couldn’t see his face you could hear the way the corners of his mouth were pulled into a smile.

The guitarist shook his head and gestured to you. You quickly closed your legs and hid what you had been doing so when Axl turned to look at you there was nothing to see. Sure enough he asked Slash what you’d been doing.

“Go deal with your girlfriend.” He mumbled, aiming his gaze to the ground. Axl turned around again and took a closer look at you. Your cheeks were flushed, sweat was starting to collect at your hairline and your breathing was heavy.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He came over to you, getting your pants and panties off. You started squirming and reaching for your clothes, not expecting him to undress you in front of his band. “I told you to stay home but no you just had come along, now look at you.” He gestured to your now half-naked body. You still tried to cover yourself but he wouldn’t let you, holding your legs apart as his bandmates gathered around behind him to gawk at your glistening folds.

Axl slapped your thigh. “Get up.” You did as he asked, though still wanting to cover yourself. Axl got his half-hard dick out of his pants and sat down behind you before pulling you down on him, slipping into you with ease given how hot you made yourself prior.

He got your legs onto the couch so you were straddling him, backwards cowgirl style. He wanted you to do all the work, since this was what you wanted in the first place. He also wanted this position so that his friends could see everything, from your pretty little cunt to the faces you made when you came.

“Go on, give us a show.” Duff said, already palming himself through his jeans. Axl patted the space beside him for Duff to come sit. He did and pulled out his hard member for you to jerk. You let out a soft whine and reached for him, starting to bounce yourself on Axl’s cock while stroking Duff’s.

Steven came over as well, standing to the side of you so as to not abstract Slash and Izzy’s view of you. He dropped his own pants and waited expectantly for you to let him in on the fun. You glanced back to Axl. “Can’t keep him waiting.” He said with a grin. You looked back to Steven and started pumping his shaft as well.

You thought this was a lot but you knew it wasn’t the end of it either. Izzy and Slash were both standing farther back working themselves. It seemed that you watching them acted as confirmation and they came over.

They didn’t make you take them into your mouth like you thought they would, much to your delight. Instead, they started jerking themselves off in your face and all you could do was wait for them to cum on you.

Your body was getting tired, arms wanted to fall to your sides and your legs began to shake under you as you kept bouncing on Axl. Seeing this the ginger started fucking up into you, making it a little easier.

Of course he knew your body better than anyone and knew exactly which spots to hit to make your eyes roll back. You had five men around you, all with their dicks out for you. It made everything feel better, especially when Duff reached over to rub your clit.

He has long, talented fingers that quickened everything you were feeling. “Fuck! ‘M-’m gonna cum, gonna cum!” You whined, hands clenching and unclenching around Duff and Steven’s cocks which seemed to get Steven over the edge, white liquid spurting onto your lap.

You looked down at it with stars in your eyes. It was then that you realised how badly you wanted all of them to cum on you. You kept jerking Steven off, his voice getting higher now. You could feel Axl twitching inside of you so you looked back at him.

“Please cum inside, want it so bad, please.” You whined. Axl had always wanted kids so you learned early on in your relationship that he had a breeding kink and asking him to cum inside your tight cunt was a sure fire way to make him cum.

Sure enough he grabbed your hips and held you down on him while his cum filled you up. That feeling alone almost made you cum but what really did it was Slash toying with your nipple.

You hadn’t been looking at him so his warm hand was already a surprise but the way he fondled you made your eyes roll back into your head. Your body shook and the couch under you, along with Axl’s lap, was now drenched.

You heard Duff groaning beside you and looked over just in time to catch his dick leaking, thick liquid coating your hand. His hand didn’t stop working on your clit, rubbing it, pinching and flicking. Seeing what made you moan the loudest and sweetest.

Izzy turned your head and thick ropes spurted onto your face. You stared up at him, lips parted as his seed slipped into your mouth. You were in such a trance for a moment you almost missed the feeling of Slash cumming on your chest.

More than once you’d caught him staring at your chest, really anyone’s chest. You smiled up at him and moved up and down Axl a few more times so he could watch your tits bounce while he came.

You were all breathing heavy, panting on one another as you came down from your highs.

“Get up.” Axl said with a heavy breath, patting your thigh. You got up and then started questioning what he wanted, your mind still in a haze. Sweat and jizz mixed together on your body and dripped down.

“Why..?” You asked out of breath and legs shaking beneath you.

“You wanted to get fucked so bad,” the ginger started, “why not give everyone a turn?” You stared up at him with wide eyes as you felt Slash’s big, warm hands wrap around your waist.

[redvdress]

haai! blue here!

i absolutely LOVED the hawks x singlemom!reader one, tysm!! you ate it! (⁠◡⁠ ⁠ω⁠ ⁠◡⁠)

as for u.a. hawks, what do you think about this:

in the middle of a UA party threw by it's own students, keigo left for a moment to breathe. not so far from here, he spots the reader, who is clearly not okay. alone at the hallway, messed make up, sobbing and such, after spotting her love interest with someone else. bonus if they already know each other!

hope you like it <3 thanks for the attention and care!

- blue 🫐

WINGMAN

A/ N hii blue thanks for asking, i really enjoyed writing this prompt because i personally headcannon this is something keigo (or at least my version of him) would do for a friend, in his own way ofc. i was listening to this song while writing it and the lyrics kinda fits with all of this, reader and keigo’s povs especially (or at least some parts). anyway here there is, i changed the kinda reader from persistent guy series because i believe this kind fits this prompt more. i hope y’all enjoy and that you’re satisfied with my work, feel free to ask for more!!

Sensei’s announcement echoed through the room like a burst of light after a long storm. A party—an actual party—was in the works at UA, organized by the students themselves to celebrate the end of the grueling months of exams and training. The exhaustion everyone had felt was palpable, but in an instant, it was replaced with an electric energy that shot through the class.

People whispered excitedly, the room buzzing like a beehive, and even the usually serious ones couldn’t hide their smiles.

The class presidents had pitched the idea earlier, asking everyone’s opinion on whether it sounded like a good way to blow off steam. The response was unanimous—yes. It was like a collective sigh of relief. The tension of exams was finally behind them, and what better way to cap it off than with a night to remember?

Your friends were already crowded around your desk, their faces lit with excitement as they gossiped about outfits and hair. The anticipation was contagious.

“You have to wear that dress I found in your closet the other day,” one of your closest friends said, practically bouncing with excitement. “It’s so stunning, I’m honestly jealous! Everyone’s gonna be staring at you, like, for real.”

Her compliment made you blush slightly, but you nodded along with a shy smile.

She had an eye for fashion, and if she said the dress was perfect, you were probably going to listen. She was the type of friend who always wanted you to shine right alongside her, and the idea of walking into the party together, dressed to the nines, was already filling your mind with excitement.

As the planning unfolded, you noticed that, unsurprisingly, everyone was talking about finding a partner for the night. It wasn’t a formal thing or anything, but people were treating it like it was prom.

You weren’t exactly stressing over it, but it seemed to be the hot topic.

You were mid-thought, spacing out about how the night might play out, when a familiar voice snapped you back to reality.

“Yo, you got your eye on anyone for the party?”

You turned your head to see none other than Keigo, his trademark grin was plastered across his face, his golden eyes gleaming with a mix of curiosity and teasing. Leaning casually against the desk, his wings flexed ever so slightly, drawing a few curious glances from others nearby. He had that air of confidence that made everything he said sound like a challenge, even if he was just teasing.

“Why so interested Keigo? Are you volunteering?” you asked, raising an eyebrow, though a smile tugged at the corners of your lips.

He laughed, leaning in just a little closer. “Would you tell me yes if I was?”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “You already know I’m interested in someone else.”

Hawks let out a dramatic sigh, but that playful glint in his eyes never wavered.

“Ah, right. How could I forget?” He gave you a mock look of disappointment, his hand over his heart like you’d just wounded him.

“But hey, I gotta shoot my shot. I mean, it’s me.”

You couldn’t help but laugh.

He was definitely charming, but he knew better than anyone that your heart wasn’t in it for him, at least not romantically.

You’d told him before that there was someone else who had caught your attention, but you’d never revealed exactly who.

“Alright, alright,” he said, straightening up but still flashing you that charming grin. “But you can’t leave me in suspense forever. Who’s the lucky guy?”

You rolled your eyes playfully, but inside, you were kind of impressed by how persistent he could be. Still, you weren’t going to give up your secret that easily. Not yet, at least.

“You’ll just have to wait and see like everyone else,” you said, giving him a knowing look.

He raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. “Oh, is that how it is?” He smirked. “Fine, I’ll play along. But I’m keeping my eyes peeled. The second I figure it out, I’m calling dibs on being your wingman for the night.”

“Keigo, you’re not exactly the quiet type. I don’t think I need any more attention than what you’d bring,” you shot back, laughing.

“Fair point,” he said, his wings ruffling slightly in a way that seemed to mirror his amusement. “But hey, a little attention never hurt anyone, right?”

The conversation drifted to other topics as more of your friends joined in, but Hawks stayed close by, always ready with a joke or a quick remark that kept the mood light. Even though he teased you, you could tell he was genuinely curious. He loved a good mystery, and this one—you and your unknown crush—was something he clearly wasn’t going to let go of easily. It was just another part of his charm.

The night was supposed to be perfect. UA’s hallways were alive with excitement, laughter spilling from the open doors of the massive common area where the party was in full swing. The students had really outdone themselves with the decorations—twinkling lights draped across the ceiling, music pulsing through the speakers, and tables filled with snacks that hardly anyone was paying attention to. It was the kind of night everyone had been looking forward to for months—a chance to finally let loose and celebrate after what felt like endless exams and training.

You had been part of the crowd earlier, laughing and dancing with your friends. The dress your friend had picked out for you hugged your frame perfectly, and for a moment, you’d felt like you belonged in the center of the excitement, like nothing could touch the confidence that had surged through you. The energy of the room had been contagious. But there was one thing, or rather one person, who kept pulling your attention.

He was there, your love interest, looking effortlessly cool as always. Every time you caught a glimpse of him, your heart would skip a beat. You’d been building up to this moment for a while, hoping that maybe tonight, under the soft lights and surrounded by friends, something would finally shift between you two. The little stolen glances, the lingering conversations, the smiles that seemed like they meant something more—it all felt like it had been leading to this.

But then, it happened. You spotted him across the room, and your heart dropped.

He wasn’t alone.

She was with him—a girl from another class. She had her arm looped casually through his, her laughter cutting through the noise of the party, and he was laughing right along with her. It wasn’t forced or awkward. It was natural. Comfortable. And for a moment, the world seemed to stop around you.

You watched as she whispered something in his ear, and he smiled at her, a smile that had once made you feel like you were the only person in the room. Now, it felt like a punch to the gut. You could feel the tightening in your chest, the sting behind your eyes, but you didn’t want to make a scene. Not here. Not tonight. You blinked rapidly, forcing back the tears that threatened to spill over, but it was no use.

Your friends were still nearby, oblivious to what had just shattered inside you, but you couldn’t stay there. Not with the sight of him—of them—so clear in your mind. Without a word, you slipped away from the crowd, your footsteps hurried but soft as you made your way out into the hallway, leaving the noise and laughter behind.

The hallway was quiet, dimly lit compared to the party room. It felt colder, more isolating, which was exactly what you needed right now. You leaned against the wall, your back sliding down until you were sitting on the floor, knees pulled to your chest as the tears finally broke free. Your makeup, the one thing you’d worked so hard on, was now streaking down your face, but you didn’t care anymore. It didn’t matter. Nothing about this night felt like it mattered anymore.

You weren’t sure how long you sat there, crying quietly to yourself, but after a while, you heard the faint sound of footsteps approaching. You wiped at your eyes quickly, trying to compose yourself, but it was no use. The damage was done, and you couldn’t hide the mess you’d become.

“Hey,” a familiar voice called out softly, and your heart skipped again, but this time for a different reason. It was Keigo.

He stood a few feet away, his usual carefree expression tempered with concern as he looked down at you. His wings, which normally stretched wide with confidence, were tucked in close to his back, as if even they could sense the heaviness in the air.

“Thought I’d sneak out for a second to breathe,” he said, walking closer and crouching down beside you. His tone was soft, gentle in a way that wasn’t typical for him, but it suited the moment. “Didn’t expect to find you here, though. You okay?”

You couldn’t bring yourself to answer right away, your throat tight as you tried to hold back another wave of tears. Instead, you just shook your head, biting your lip to stop the sobs that threatened to escape.

Keigo was quiet for a moment, watching you carefully. He wasn’t the kind of guy to push, but he also wasn’t the type to leave someone hurting, especially not someone he cared about. He exhaled softly, his expression softening even more as he reached out, offering his hand.

“C’mere,” he said gently, pulling you up with ease when you took his hand. His grip was warm, solid, and there was something about the way he held on to you that made you feel just a little bit safer.

For a moment, the two of you just stood there in silence, your hand still in his. His thumb brushed lightly across your knuckles, a simple gesture that helped ground you in the moment, pulling you away from the hurt that had been consuming you.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked, his voice low but comforting.

You shook your head again, blinking away more tears as you looked down at your feet. “It’s… stupid,” you mumbled, trying to laugh it off, but it came out shaky.

He frowned slightly, his golden eyes narrowing in the way they did when he wasn’t buying it. “Hey, I’m the king of stupid, remember? But you don’t look like someone crying over nothing.”

You sighed, feeling the weight of the emotions pressing down on you. “It’s him,” you finally admitted, your voice barely a whisper. “I saw him… with her. I just… I thought tonight might be different.”

Keigo’s gaze softened even more, and he gave a small nod of understanding. He didn’t say anything for a second, just letting the words hang in the air between you two. But then, in his typical Hawks fashion, he cracked a gentle smile, one that didn’t mock your pain but tried to ease it just a little.

“Well,” he said, stepping a bit closer, “guess I’m your wingman now, huh?”

You couldn’t help but let out a small, broken laugh at that, wiping at your eyes again. “I didn’t exactly plan on needing one tonight.”

Keigo’s smile grew, though still soft. “No one plans for it. But lucky for you, you’ve got the best in the business.” He gave a small shrug, his wings twitching slightly as if to emphasize the point.

You sniffed, a weak smile finding its way to your lips despite everything. “Thanks, Keigo.”

He nodded, his expression still kind as he reached out, brushing a stray tear from your cheek with a feather-light touch. “Anytime, yn. Let’s get you back in there.”

But before you could protest, he leaned in slightly, lowering his voice. “I’m not saying it’ll fix everything, but I bet if we head back, and you let me be your wingman for real, we could at least turn this night around.”

You hesitated, glancing back toward the party, but when you looked back at Keigo, his grin was enough to convince you. With a deep breath, you nodded.

“Alright,” you said quietly. “Let’s go.”

Keigo’s smile brightened, and with his arm still around you, he led you back down the hall, his wings flaring slightly as if they were ready to block out any more hurt that might come your way..

You felt the weight on your chest slowly lift, bit by bit. Keigo’s presence was soothing, and even though your heart still ached, he had a way of making you feel like things weren’t quite so heavy.

The lights from the common area spilled into the hallway as you both approached the entrance, casting a warm glow on the floor. Keigo pulled you to a stop just outside the door and turned to face you, that signature smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

“You know,” he said, tilting his head, “you’re probably the only person here who can say they’ve got a personal wingman with actual wings. That’s gotta count for something, right?”

You couldn’t help but smile at that, shaking your head at his playful tone. “Yeah, I guess it does.”

“Exactly,” he replied, his eyes lighting up. “So let’s use ‘em.” With a wink, he gently tugged your hand and led you back into the party.

The room was still buzzing with energy—students dancing, talking, laughing—but now it felt a little different. Maybe it was the fact that Keigo hadn’t left your side or the way he seemed determined to keep you smiling, but the sting of seeing your crush with someone else was starting to fade, even if just a little.

Keigo gave your hand a light squeeze as he led you through the crowd, his wings brushing against people here and there, earning playful complaints as they passed. You could tell he was holding back from fully extending them, trying not to cause too much of a scene—though, in true Hawks fashion, he still managed to attract attention wherever he went.

“Alright,” he said, stopping near the edge of the dance floor and turning to face you, “here’s the deal. You and me—we’re gonna own this dance floor for at least one song. No excuses.”

Your eyes widened. “Keigo, I’m really not in the mood to—”

“Nuh-uh,” he interrupted, wagging a finger at you with a playful grin. “Trust me. Just one dance, and I swear it’ll help. Besides, how could anyone resist dancing with me? I’m Takami Keigo, remember?”

You sighed, but you couldn’t help the small smile tugging at your lips. He had a way of making everything sound so easy, like the weight of the world could disappear if you just let him take you for a spin on the dance floor.

“Fine,” you relented, shaking your head at his persistence. “One dance.”

His grin widened. “That’s the spirit!”

Before you could second-guess yourself, Keigo gently pulled you onto the dance floor. The music was upbeat, and the crowd around you seemed to blur as he spun you around, his hand resting lightly on your waist while his other hand held yours. For a moment, you were hyper-aware of everything—his warmth, the way he moved effortlessly, the playful twinkle in his eyes—but slowly, as the music picked up, you found yourself relaxing.

Keigo wasn’t the type to take things too seriously, and it showed in the way he danced with you. His moves were a mix of goofy and graceful, a blend of light-hearted twirls and exaggerated poses that made you laugh in spite of yourself. He kept stealing glances at you, clearly enjoying the fact that he was managing to lift your mood.

At one point, he dipped you dramatically, grinning down at you as you burst into laughter.

“See?” he said, his voice light as he pulled you back up. “Told you I’d turn things around.”

“You’re ridiculous,” you laughed, breathless from both the dancing and the sudden shift in your mood.

“And you love it,” he shot back with a wink, his tone teasing but not too cocky. He twirled you one last time before the song started to wind down, letting the energy between you settle into something more comfortable.

When the song finally ended, Keigo kept you close, his arm around your shoulders again as you caught your breath. The party was still going strong, but in that moment, it felt like the rest of the world had faded just a bit. There was something calming about his presence, something that made you feel like maybe things would be okay after all.

“Alright, alright,” he said, leading you away from the dance floor toward a quieter corner of the room. “I’ll give you a break. Can’t have you getting tired of me too fast.”

You smiled, grateful for the reprieve. “Thanks for that, Keigo. I really needed it.”

He tilted his head slightly, looking at you with a softer expression. “Hey, what are wingmen for?”

For a second, there was a comfortable silence between you two. The party continued around you, but Keigo’s focus was solely on you. His eyes flicked down to your hand, which he was still holding, and then back up to your face.

“You know,” he said, his voice quieter now, more sincere, “you don’t have to do everything alone. I know tonight wasn’t what you expected, but… I’m here. Whenever you need me.”

His words hit deeper than you’d expected, and you found yourself looking at him in a new light. There was a kindness in his eyes, an understanding that went beyond his usual playful demeanor. He wasn’t just trying to distract you—he genuinely cared.

You smiled softly, squeezing his hand in return. “Thanks, Keigo. Really.”

He grinned again, but this time it wasn’t his usual teasing smirk. It was something warmer, more genuine. “Anytime. And hey, if you ever need a break from all this craziness,” he gestured toward the party, “I can fly us out of here. Just say the word.”

You chuckled. “Tempting offer.”

He gave a mock-serious nod. “It’s always on the table.”

For the rest of the night, Keigo stuck by your side, never letting the mood dip back into the sadness that had overtaken you earlier. He made sure to keep things light, cracking jokes, pulling you into conversations with others, and even grabbing you more snacks than you could possibly eat. Every now and then, his wings would flare out slightly, brushing against your shoulder as if to remind you that he was there, that he had your back.

By the end of the party, the ache in your heart wasn’t gone, but it was softer now, dulled by the warmth of his presence. And when you finally said goodnight, Keigo leaned in close, his voice low and playful as always.

“Don’t forget,” he whispered with a wink, “if you need anything, you know where to find me.”

With that, he gave you one last grin, his wings stretching wide as he walked away, leaving you with the unmistakable feeling that, despite everything, tonight had turned out to be better than you’d thought.

And maybe, it was because of him.

[ghostofskywalker]

Stop Running From Love

Crosshair/Fem!Reader

Words: 2,968

Summary: Lost after finally escaping from the Empire, Crosshair crash lands on your property. While he's recovering, he realizes something important about himself, but it takes the meddling of his brothers for him to actually admit it.

Prompt: “Falling in love, no, it ain’t for the weak" (In The Kitchen, Renee Rapp)

Notes: this is a gift for the lovely @intricatechaosofyou in the @cloneficgiftexchange song lyric exchange! I thought Crosshair fit the vibes of this lyric especially well because he would be the most apprehensive about falling in love. there's some canon divergence here, and in my head it takes place in a world where crosshair escapes the empire sometime in season 2. I hope you enjoy it :)

Clone Troopers Masterlist

When Crosshair first opened his eyes, he didn’t recognize his surroundings. He remembered the escape pod hurtling through the atmosphere of a planet he didn’t recognize, and of course he remembered crashing on the outskirts of a forest and field, but that was about it. By the time he hit the ground his vision had gone blurry, but he remembered the jolting feeling before all his other senses decided to sign off as well. 

Now, the first thing he registered was the wafting smell of something cooking in the next room. It had been so long since he had any kind of food other than stolen Imperial rations, and even then, he could tell that whatever was being made now would be infinitely better than the flavorless slop and rock-hard bricks they used to serve at the bases and send on missions. 

The second thing he noticed was how warm his body was. Spending a seemingly endless amount of time trapped with the same air in that escape pod was completely different than the soft blanket that was currently resting atop his body, and there was no way the Empire would hand out supplies like this to clones, let alone prisoners. Running his hand across the fabric, a small smile curled on his lips.

Maybe he was dead. He couldn’t imagine a version of reality where he would be afforded these comforts, not after what he had done to his family. He had spent so much time in that tiny vessel, chasing down an ice cold trail his brothers left in the endless expanse of the galaxy, maybe that crash had finally put that journey to an unsatisfying end. 

But those thoughts immediately exited his head as he heard someone enter the space, and he turned to see you approaching his resting place. “You’re awake,” you said softly, still at a distance. “That’s good, I was just about to come and change your dressings.” 

In that moment Crosshair realized another thing, that his armor was gone. He was wearing the bottom part of his blacks, but there was a loose tunic of unfamiliar fabric resting over his top half. He shifted as he sat up to face you, and he could feel the tightness of bandages wrapping across his right shoulder and upper area of his chest. 

“Who are you?” he said, and this version of his voice was alien to even him. It was scratchy and hoarse, a product of both the injuries and the fact that he hadn’t spoken aloud in quite some time. He hoped his tone wasn’t accusatory, especially if you had taken care of him while he was unconscious. 

You told him your name as you stepped closer, fresh bandages in your hand. “Your escape pod crashed at the edge of my property and when I found you, I didn’t know how long it would be until you woke up.”

If you woke up. You didn’t say that part, but Crosshair was willing to bet you’d considered it. 

“Is the escape pod still functional?” he asked, his voice coming out sharper than it had before. That thing, cramped (and now busted) as it was, was his ticket off this planet.

You stared at him for a moment before responding. You were so close to him now, one hand reaching out to remove his tunic. “I don’t know. It’ll need some new parts and heavy repairs at the very least, but I might be able to make it fly.” 

Whew. That was at least something he could work with. “Where can I find-” 

At this point you had begun to remove his old bandage dressing, but you stopped as you registered his words, raising your eyebrows. “Woah buddy,” you said. “With your injuries, you’re not going anywhere anytime soon. You need to focus on healing, and then we can tackle the task of your ship.” 

He scoffed. Who did you think you were? This was his life, and if he wanted to make terrible decisions he was fully within his right to do that. Besides, the voice in his head he so desperately tried to ignore chimed in, he didn’t deserved to be treated with this kindness. “I need to leave as soon as possible,” he said, his gaze turning steely. 

You returned the expression, gesturing down to the bleeding gash on his chest and burns on his shoulder, which were both thanks to his less-than-graceful landing. “Not in this condition.” 

“It doesn’t matter what condition I’m in, I need to leave.” 

You must have noticed the desperation in his voice, because your tone softened as you began to apply a bacta solution to his shoulder. “Look,” you said. “I don’t know what happened to you, or what you’re looking for beyond this planet, but I do know this. Unless the Empire is seconds behind you, which they aren’t since you’ve been passed out on my couch for over a rotation, leaving hurriedly will do you absolutely no good.” 

“How do you know?” he said, too shocked to elaborate but hoping you understood. 

“Your armor was a pretty dead giveaway,” you said. “And besides, people who aren’t on the run usually let their wounds fully heal.” He was silent, his mind still attempting to figure out exactly what your game was. “I don’t work for the Empire, that’s one thing I can promise. All I want is to help you, but I can’t do that if I’m worried you’re going to bolt the moment I turn my back.”

“Fine,” he said, though it came out more like a growl than he intended. 

A smile crossed your face, clearly happy at the small victory you had won over him. “Excellent,” you said as you finished re-applying his bandages. “And now, since you already know my name, can I ask yours?” 

“Crosshair.” He still wasn’t happy about the current state of things, even though he knew it would be for the best. 

“It’s nice to meet you Crosshair,” you responded, seemingly not bothered by the annoyance in his voice. “Would you like some soup?”  He nodded, and you left the room to fetch it, humming an upbeat tune under your breath as you did so.  

As much as he didn’t really want to admit it, something about you made him want to stay, and the thought was terrifying. 

Over the next few rotations, Crosshair got a glimpse of what it would be like to settle down. Yes, you lived away from others (there wasn’t another home nearby that he could see), but you didn’t do so out of fear, like he would have (and like other clones who defected were forced to). You grew your own produce, sewed your own clothes from fabrics purchased at the local market, and made a life working as a droid and speeder mechanic. In a different life, Crosshair could see himself going about his days in a similar fashion. 

The internal conflict started not long after. The escape pod he had been traveling in turned out to be crushed beyond repair, so you had pulled a decrepit-looking starship from your shed and offered that to him, and he didn’t really have any other options. 

You didn’t let him help because the injuries on his chest were still too fresh, but he made himself useful in other ways as he sat on a chair next to where you were working on the ship.  “Could you toss me the wrench next to you?” 

“The small one or the large one?” 

You poked your head out of the ship’s cockpit. “Small one please.” Crosshair nodded and tossed the tool in your direction. “Thanks!” 

Kriff, he wanted to stay. But he needed to finish what he started, to find his family and at the very least apologize for not listening to them about the Empire. And while you were so kind, could he really ask you to permanently allow him to live here? He doubted you felt the same way about him that he did about you, so those desires would have to remain in his mind for now. 

“Okay, I refitted the hyperdrive and adjusted the control panel in the cockpit,” you said, popping into view and tossing the tools in your hand to the ground with a clatter. “With a new set of converters, she should be able to go as fast as you want her to.” 

“When are you going to let me out of your clutches?” Crosshair asked, leaning back slightly in his chair. 

“Why, you want to escape or something?”  you fired back, raising your eyebrows in his direction as a playful smile crossed your face. “A few rotations probably, once your chest wound closes up more and doesn’t take as much gauze.”

“I don’t want to take up more of your time and resources.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” you said. “It’s been nice to have someone else around here.”

Maker, did he want to stay. 

But he couldn’t. 

In a very Crosshair fashion, he slipped away in the dead of night, the moment his wounds were healed. As much as it hurt not saying goodbye, it would hurt more if your feelings didn’t match his.  

***

On the surface, the man standing at the produce stall didn’t really look like Crosshair (for one, he had a rather striking face tattoo), but you could see resemblance in their mannerisms. Or you were just crazy, because there was no way those two could be connected. At this point, you had accepted that Crosshair was not coming back, and that was the end of things. 

It had stung, to wake up one morning and see him gone, with the cot he slept in perfectly made and a scrawled note on the pillow thanking you for everything you did. Of course you knew he would leave, but you at least expected that you would be around to say goodbye. 

Clearly he didn’t feel the same way about you that you did about him, or this would not have happened. It was stupid, to allow yourself to fall for your temporary houseguest, and you were paying the price for it now. You just didn’t know that paying the price meant you had to be content with seeing ghosts of him at every turn. 

You were looking at the homemade sweets one Twi’lek was selling as you watched as a young girl drag the man with the face tattoo over in your direction. “Hunter, let’s get some candy for everyone back at the ship!” 

You smiled quickly before turning away, they didn’t need you watching their every move. “Do have leftover credits?” 

“Yes, and Crosshair gave me some as well, though I don’t know why.” 

Wait. 

Crosshair? 

Maybe you hadn’t been so incorrect when you noted their facial similarities earlier. 

The man and young girl walked up to the booth, and you couldn’t stop the words from falling out of your mouth. “Excuse me, did I hear you say Crosshair?” 

The man instantly stood up straighter, a threatening gaze on his face. “What’s it to you?” 

But you stood your ground and didn’t back away. “I knew someone by that name,” you said. “I was just wondering if it was the same person, as I’d like to send him a message.” 

At this point, you saw the girl’s eyes widen, and you could hear your name in a quiet voice. The man stopped. “What did you say Omega?” 

“This is the person who helped Crosshair,” she said excitedly. “That must be why he gave me the extra credits when he heard we were coming to this system!”

The man’s face changed instantly, the threatening expression evaporating in a second. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “But usually, people who talk about my brother aren’t exactly happy to see him.”

You laughed and introduced yourself to the two, moving away from the bustling market to talk. “Crosshair told me a lot about his brothers and sister, but he never told me any of your names.” 

The man, who you learned was called Hunter, smiled. “That sounds like Crosshair for sure. He owes you a great deal, for saving his life.” 

“He doesn’t owe me anything,” you said, shaking your head. “It’s just nice to know that he found what he was looking for.”

You didn’t say anything about how he left, not sure what he had told his family. “He should have still waited around to say goodbye though,” Omega said, and Hunter stopped. 

“How do you know about that?” he asked, and you had the same question. 

“I overheard him talking to you and Echo when he first came back and you asked him about his injuries,” she said, before turning her attention back to you. “He really likes you, you know.” 

That was certainly news to you. “He does?” 

Hunter nodded. “The di’kut just didn’t know what to do, and he made the decision he thought he had to.” 

“I wish he would have said something,” you said softly, before you could think twice about it. 

“Crosshair won’t admit it, but he feels the same way,” Hunter said. 

Omega’s voice was bright as her face lit up with a realization. “You should come back with us!”

Immediately, you shook your head. “No, I don’t think that would be such a good idea,” you said. 

“If you’re worried about Crosshair being mad at you, that won’t be an issue,” Hunter said. “But if you’d prefer to move on completely, I understand. We won’t say anything about seeing you here if you don’t want us to.” 

You had to admit, the choice was a difficult one. And despite a knot of worry taking hold in your stomach, you eventually agreed to return to the ship with Hunter and Omega. If all went well, you certainly had enough land and resources for your family to grow by six, and if it didn’t, you could always pretend this day never happened. 

Omega gave you a hug as you nodded, and soon you were walking with the two of them to the rendezvous point, anxiously staring at the sky. What if Hunter and Omega were wrong? Could you handle that embarrassment? 

You wanted to run as a ship descended from the sky, but you stayed rooted in place. As the ramp touched the ground you could see three figures in the doorway, and Omega gleefully shouted across the space. “Hey Crosshair! Look who we ran into at the market!” 

Crosshair’s eyes widened as he registered you standing there, and he pushed past the other two people on the platform to step onto the ground. “We’ll give you two some privacy,” Hunter said, shooing both his brothers and Omega back into the ship. 

“It wasn’t my idea to come back with them,” you said quickly, still unsure if he was unhappy with the current situation or not. 

“I know,” he said. “When I told them how I left, I got a lecture about how I should have said goodbye, and I knew they were right. I need to apologize for that, I didn’t want to take your aid for granted.” 

“Why did you leave?” you asked, your voice quiet. “I didn’t truly imprison you, did I?” 

“It was the opposite actually,” he said, shaking his head. “I liked spending time with you so much that it terrified me, because I didn’t think you felt the same way. It wasn’t fair of me to do that, but I don’t think I would have been able to resist if you asked me to stay.” 

The feeling of worry in your stomach dissipated instantly, and it was replaced with a thunderous herd of butterflies. “Crosshair,” you said kindly, reaching up to softly run your fingertips across his cheek. “I would have never asked that of you, no matter how much I wanted to.”

His hand moved to rest over yours, and the feeling of warmth that overtook your body was honestly a little embarrassing. “I wanted you to ask,” he said. “More than anything. And I thought that these feelings were unimportant, that I could just move past them, but I couldn’t. Eventually it was Hunter who demanded I tell him why I was moping around all the time.” 

You smiled. “Well, you’ve seen my place,” you said. “I’d be happy for you and your family to come live there, if you’d be interested.” 

“Yes, we would be,” he breathed, his hands moving down to rest on your waist. 

Suddenly your faces were much closer than you realized, and your gaze flickered down to his lips. It seemed that Crosshair had the same thought, because he moved even closer. “Can I kiss you?” he asked, the look on his face akin to that of a desperate plea. 

Instead of torturing him any longer, you closed the gap between you two, crashing your lips into his. It was everything you’d dreamed of, the feeling of his hands resting on your waist and his lips against yours for the first time something you would remember for the rest of your days. 

You were so utterly lost in each other that you didn’t hear the ramp of the ship descend again, but the gleeful shouts of Crosshair’s family did pull you two apart. “Shut up,” Crosshair growled at Hunter, whose grin was the widest of them all. 

You smiled, placing a quick peck on his lips. “They’re just happy for you,” you said softly. 

“It’s annoying.” 

You laughed. “Come on, we can always continue this back home.” 

Crosshair’s grip on your waist tightened for a moment. “That better be a promise, mesh’la.” 

You just smiled as you pulled away from him, excited to extend your offer to your new family, whether they knew it yet or not.

- the end -

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[subarashiihibi]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BEAUTIFUL ANGEL WIFE IZAYA ORIHARA!!!!!!! 🥰😘👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨😭😎🔥🫶🩷

i can't quite put into words what exactly izaya has meant to me over the past 8 years. one, it sounds really corny and i go off into at least 30 different tangents about all the little things that make him so endearing to me, but also i just dont really know how to sound eloquent and stuff. that being said, a lot of the person i am today is (for better or for worse) thanks to izaya, so i think if i leave it at that you can at least get it a little bit. ^_^

i was really excited to set this year's display up. i changed the room i used this time, since i got a new desk, and it was...kind of a challenge at first, but after moving around a bunch of furniture and whatnot, i made it work...!

i had to forego putting up a few other things... namely the rest of my bromides and postcards, but also all my shikishi. i need to invest in some way to display them... i also had two(!!) dakimakura... i had to leave out this year. </3 and the cardboard cutout i made when i was 16. 😭

as usual, i have a lot of stuff to say about this entire thing and the stuff around it, so i... will leave my rambling under the cut. (^□^)

my god putting this thing together was hell. i said 'challenge' earlier no this shit was like a fucking war omfg. the clear files kept falling i was miserable and praying to god (im not even religious). and then i had to tape behind the big izaya balloon poster cause it's covering my doorway and it kept getting pulled back to the door...? and it looked stupid. 🤦‍♂️ i wasn't originally gonna put the tables in here either. i really wanted to be able to fit the bed sheets on the walls. but i couldn't... and i needed more room to put the pillows and stuff, so it ended up working out perfectly.

(the only reason i didn't want to use tables was cause i didn't want something covering up izaya's sexy exposed feet in the china poster... 😟)

i was (finally) gonna get a cake this year, but after having the stress of two exams back to back this week and exams next week, i...was too exhausted lol. hopefully next year i won't have an awful overnight job or school making me miserable. (as if i'm not still gonna be a student next year☠)

the amount of durarara merch that's come out the past few years has left me feeling so spoiled... i hope they do a mail order for the 20th anni merch... i want all the izaya stuff without the crazy markups from resellers online🤬

also plz don't judge my toploader deco skills too much... i am not very experienced... and i also don't have a lot of stickers to work with... 🥺

at any rate... at this exact time last year, i was suffering inside the confines of my local walmart... i was working overnight, and my break was at 12am, so as soon as it hit, i ran out to my car to excitedly celebrate the date changing to may 4th...!

and then during my lunch break, i drove to the whataburger next door and did another 10-pull on the izaya birthday kuji while in the drivethru.

i didn't realize this until i started taking stuff down in my room (this is my bedroom... i can't realistically keep two large tables in here and a poster covering my doorway. i had to crawl under the table just to get in and out. my knees still hurt.), but... i actually forgot something i wanted to include... my izaya lightstick... 💔💔💔 it's okay. i will live. i'm happy with my setup as a whole so i have no qualms with this. i just need to make sure i don't make the same mistake next year.

on a (slightly) unrelated note, yesterday (may 3) was the 19th birthday of my favorite album ever from my favorite band ever, fall out boy's from under the cork tree! i was so happy when i found out it's right before izaya's birthday cause fall out boy as a whole has so many izaya coded lyrics it's crazy. (btw, their debut album tttyg came out on the 6th as well...!)

and then tomorrow is cinco de mayo... it's not a coincidence... latina izaya truthers rise up...

anyways...! i'm finally learning how to draw properly. the reason i was always so miserable when i tried before was cause i never knew what i was doing. i didn't know where to start from. because...i didn't use references...so hopefully i can draw something cute for izaya's birthday next year. ^_^

that's all i have to say...! i woke up early this (yesterday) morning at 9am so i could be there at 10am when midnight hit in japan, and it's already 3am on the 4th, so i'm exhausted lol...

i was so excited seeing all the izaya bday fanart on twitter though. all the beautiful artists making beautiful art...

but i've spoken too much now. sorry. i'm going to spend the rest of my night listening to fall out boy before i eventually pass out. bye bye !!!! ^_^

[oracle-of-dream]

Something Special

Summary: You've been getting closer to Jay, a wealthy businessman, as you've been booked to sing at multiple events for this business dinner. He invites you as his plus one this time, but you have a song written just for him prepared...

Notes: Some non-sexual works are in order since I haven't released any in a while, so I hope you like it <3

Wordcount: 2.8k

Sitting in a cafe, in a corner seat near the window. You could feel the sunlight shining through the window warming you up from the cold winter air. You came here to find some inspiration for your song. You wanted to write something special for a man who you met here. You could remember the day he walked into the cafe. It was an open mic night, which you went to every single one to practice singing on stage. Most people didn’t really pay attention to you, but one man couldn’t look away from you. It felt like you were singing just to him like the two of you were alone in the room together. That was months ago. The man introduced himself as Jay Park, the CEO of one of the businesses in the area. Some fashion company, and judging from the clothes he was wearing you could tell it wasn’t a lie either… Jay asked if you’d be interested in working a few gigs, promising very generous pay for some classy late-night singer vibes to come to his studio events. The first event was something to remember. It was on a huge stage with a live band. The room was full of people, most of them not really paying attention, the number was enough to even make you want to reconsider performing at all. But Jay spoke to you before the performance, encouraging you, and it turned out to be one of the best nights you’d ever performed.

You scratched your head in frustration, looking down at your notepad. It was full of lyrics from the song you’ve been working on for the better part of two months. You heard that your favorite client liked to have a New Year’s dinner for his company with live music. Meaning that it would be the perfect time to showcase a new song, but nothing seemed to fit the feeling you wanted. Something special…

You heard your phone ringing and answered, “Hello?”

“Hey Songbird, you busy?” 

You smiled at the nickname he gave you. “Never too busy for my favorite businessman.”

“Did you eat yet? We could go out to lunch in a bit, my treat!”

“Jay, it’s always your treat when you take me out.”

“Well, I can’t let you pick up the bill. It’s a pride thing, ya know?”

“Pride in what,” you scoffed.

“Pride in knowing I’m taking care of you. I like treating you. And there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you about too...” Jay’s voice was a little tight like he was nervous about something.

You pretended not to know that he was going to ask you to sing for him. “What’s the occasion, maybe another gig?”

“I did have a gig for you on New Year’s Eve, but I found another singer.” 

You hesitated, trying to collect your brain before replying. Your face felt a little warm and your smile faded after registering what he’d said.

Jay broke the silence first, “Not that you’re not an amazing singer, I just figured you’d be a little too busy that night since–”

“I’m super busy actually! I gotta go catch up with another client calling. We’ll get back to this another time, yeah?”

“Y/n?” 

You didn’t let Jay finish before you hung up the phone. Your face was hot and getting hotter as you thought more about it. It’s just business with him, so it doesn’t matter to him who he hires for events or whatever. Even giving a courtesy call to tell you not to worry about the event. The nerve of that guy! You look back at your notepad and flip to the next page, writing new lyrics to your song, something to show how you really felt about him.

Jay tried calling again after an hour, even texting you. You decided to mute his number while you were in your creative process. Since he had time to hire another singer because he assumed you were busy, then you were too busy to answer the phone. 

Three days had passed since you last spoke to Jay. You were still muting his notifications, but couldn’t help yourself from looking at the texts… It was mostly confusion in the beginning. Then trying to explain something, but Jay seemed apologetic. It had been a while since his last message, which was just, “I’m sorry”. That’s when the guilt started to set in. Were you being too harsh to him? It’s not like it's a contract deal or that he had feelings for you, so it didn’t matter if he hired another singer. But you still couldn’t find out why you got so angry in the first place.

You picked up your phone and called Jay. It rang and rang, but there was no answer. Maybe he moved on after you freaked out and ghosted him… You went back to your notepad, looking at the lyrics you wrote. The new ones were mean and it felt horrible reading what you’d written about him. You ripped out the pages and threw them all away, trying to put that part of yourself aside.

You called his office. His secretary Mrs.R answered. She was an older lady who looked after Jay like she was his mother. She was always willing to speak her mind to her boss, which is why he liked her.

“Hello, Y/n! It’s so good to finally hear from you. Mr.Park has been trying to get in contact with you!” 

“I know…” Your throat was so dry, it was hard to speak. “Is he in the office today?”

“Yes, he’s here. He’ll be in meetings for most of his evening. Should I tell him you called?”

You thought about it… “No, I don’t want to bother him while he’s at work. I know he’ll cut corners and try to make time to talk to me, I wouldn’t want him to do that.”

“Oh, okay. I would like to ask a question, if I may. What were you planning to wear to the New Year’s Eve dinner? Mr.Park asked me to pick out a suit for him, but I thought it would be best if he matched with you.”

You cocked your head to the side. “Why would he need to match with me?”

“Well, you’re his date, aren’t you?”

“Date!? He didn’t mention anything about that to me.” You tried to think about when he may have asked you.

“He told me he was planning to call you and ask you a few days ago. I told him it’s better to ask in person, so he said he’d invite you to lunch and ask you then.”

You remembered the last time he invited you to lunch… When you hung up on him.

“Actually. Mrs.R, if you could tell him I called. I’d really appreciate it.”

“I’ll let him know right away.”

“Thank you.”

You hung up the phone feeling like an idiot. You kept your phone with you for the rest of the day, checking it constantly, but got nothing from Jay. It was around 11 pm when you really started freaking out. New Year’s Eve was tomorrow and you had no real way of getting to him. You typed out a big paragraph apology to him for not listening to him and begged him to call you.

After a shower to clear your head, your phone rang. You almost fell as you rushed to answer it in time. 

“Jay! Look I’m so sorry, I was an idiot for not trying to listen–”

“I’m so sorry dear. I’m not Mr.Park…” You heard Mrs.R’s voice coming out of your phone.

“Sorry… How can I help you, Mrs.R?”

“I was hoping I could drop off this suit for you. I thought you could use it for the event tomorrow.”

“He hasn’t answered me, and I don’t think he will at this rate.” You sighed.

“He’s probably being petty. He’s like that when he’s upset, but I have an idea for you if you’re willing to go through with it.”

Your ears perked at her idea. You gave her directions to your home and she explained her plan about how she wanted you to crash his party to make him see you again. However, she left a lot of things vague with only one thing very clear. 

“You can’t talk to him before you get there. If you do, it could potentially give away the plan.” She warned.

You nodded in understanding as you took the bag she brought for you. Inside was the luxury suit, taken from one of the product lines in the company. You walked her to the door and thanked her for helping you, waving her off as she walked back to her car and drove away.

The suit was black with a white button-up, but the fabric was sleek and smooth. Something you’d more likely see Jay wear, but if it was a part of the plan then you knew you had to wear it.

The next morning, you fought the urge to text and call Jay again. It used to talk almost every day, but almost five days of not speaking to him was starting to get to you. That’s when you started getting texts from Mrs.R.

“Okay, first we need to get you into the building undetected. We can’t put you on the guest list as Jay gets a copy of it so he doesn’t forget who’s coming, so we’ll need to sneak you in with the catering business.”

Her plan sounded straight out of a spy movie, but you had no objections. You took your time putting on makeup and the suit, setting your hair right, and plucked your lyric book with you before leaving to head to the location of the party.

Upon arriving, you parked and followed the crowds of people towards the front. Your phone buzzed again.

“The caterers enter from the side entrance, white van. They should be expecting you, so just grab some supplies and help them inside. Once you're in, come find me.”

You texted her back. “Isn’t this a little extra? I could’ve asked him if I could come…”

“Of course it’s extra! He loves this kinda stuff, if you want to show him how serious you are, then you should be extra.”

You sighed as you walked away from the front of the building, to its side, and followed the caterers into the building as they carried in food, utensils, and more. Just as she told you, none of the staff bothered asking who you were. You took a few turns down the several hallways until it opened up into the main ballroom for the event, where you instantly spotted Mrs.R at the reception table. 

You rushed over to her, holding an empty tray. 

“Mrs.R!”

She smiled as you came over. “Well, who’s this handsome server?”

“So what next in your master plan?”

She took out a sheet of paper. “This is the itinerary. The singer we had was supposed to get here already, but I’ve managed to send them home. Without a singer, Jay will be desperate for a new one. And then that’s when you’ll take the stage. I’ll give you a signal, so hurry and get backstage!”

You didn’t know whether to be shocked or impressed by her control of the whole plan, but you didn’t have time to decide. You rushed backstage, ditching the metal tray somewhere. 

A voice came over the speakers, it was Mrs.R! “Ladies and gentlemen. I deeply apologize for the delay on the music, we’ve finally gotten someone who’s ready to give a little ambiance.”

You could see the audience from where you were standing. Jay was sitting towards the front with an irritated look on his face, talking to some other men he was sitting with. The rest of the audience was either eating or talking amongst themselves, which you were used to, but you got the same feeling from your first performance for Jay… Your hands were cold, your stomach churned, and your knees were locking into place.

Mrs.R walked backstage. “Okay, it's your–,” she noticed your stressed expression. “Oh dear, are you so nervous about performing in front of him?”

You shrugged as your mouth wouldn’t open.

“He wants to see you. And I know you want to see him too, I can see it in your eyes. He needs you to be strong right now, so you have to go!” Mrs.R ended her short pep talk by handing you her microphone and giving you a small push toward the stage.

The push was enough to get you to move your feet, and walk onto the stage. White lights shined onto your face, almost blinding you. Some of the audience was hard to see, but you could see Jay. Front and center, still talking. It didn’t seem like he’d noticed you yet.

You positioned the microphone on the stand and nodded to the band to start the first song in the set. You started singing, only looking at Jay. Hoping he’d look back at you…

It was about a minute into the song before he looked at you for the first time in five days. His expression softened and he cracked a smile when he saw you onstage. He nodded his in approval as you sang to him. You went through the first set of the event before being allowed to have a break.

You stepped backstage and Jay met you there.

“You’re here!?” Jay hugged you tightly.

“Y-Yeah… I’m here.” You hugged him back, enjoying every second of him holding you.

Eventually, the two of you separated, and Jay was the first to speak. “Did you get my messages?”

You nodded. “And did you get mine?”

“Of course I did. I tried to call you, but I was in meetings all day and still had preparations for the event. So I didn’t get the chance to call you… And I honestly thought you didn’t want to hear from me anymore.” Jay’s voice was full of relief, and he looked like he could’ve burst into tears at that moment. “Why did you hang up on me that day? I didn’t get to explain myself…”

“I… I felt a bit jealous. And irritated that you didn’t want to ask me if I wanted to sing for your event, and you assumed I was busy–”

“I was going to ask you to be my date at the party. You’d be too busy sitting with me to be on stage singing, is what I wanted to say.” Jay sighed. “I didn’t think you’d get so irritated that you’d hang up before I could give the pickup line.”

You felt more embarrassed hearing him say it. “When you said date, did you mean an actual one? Or just your plus one?”

“I meant, Date,” Jay said flatly. “I wanted tonight to be special, so I could ask you if we could look into something a little… more personal than Singer and Client. I just didn’t really know how to play it.”

“Is that still on the table?” You asked.

“I’m open to negotiations,” he replied smugly.

“Watch it, businessman. I’m not too into contracts.”

“Right, no cages for the Songbird. I remember.”

You blushed at the nickname. “Do you have somewhere a little private? Just us?”

Jay looked around before leading you to an elevator. It was all glass, with a view of the city as it got higher off the ground. He pressed on the 50th floor, letting the elevator rise. Right before the doors opened, he switched the elevator off. “Private enough?”

You looked out at the city lights. “Perfect.” You pull out your notepad from your pocket. “I wrote you a song if you’re willing to hear it…” 

Jay leaned against the wall of the elevator. “A private show? I’d love that…” His gaze was locked on you as you prepared yourself in front of him.

You sang Jay the song you’d spent the last two months writing, pouring in everything you’d felt about him. Tell him about the first time you met, your first performance for him, and how he had your heart since that day… 

At the end of your song, you saw a firework explode behind Jay. High in the sky. It shined beautiful green and purple colors. You moved closer to see more fireworks.

“Happy New Year, Songbird…” Jay whispered as he held your waist, pulling you close to him. “Do I get a New Year’s kiss too?” Jay spun you around to face him, his face lighting up from the colors of the fireworks. It felt like time had stopped moving as he leaned down to you. He softly placed his lips on yours, drinking your lips under the stars and lights of a new year. A new year together…

[grapejuicestyless]

Unforgettable

Harry Styles x fem!reader

Summery: Y/n Y/l/n is a classic rockstar with a magnetic pull and a bad reputation with men to her name. Turns out Y/n might not be such a bad girl after all and the men she used might have not been the truth.

Pages bursted from every seam of her notebook, littered in scribbled lyrics of failed beginnings, one night stands and the most innocent poetry writings that reflected the opposite of the devilish woman behind the pencil marks.

Everything about her was shiny. Her glittery deep purplish blue eyeshadow and the highlight on the tip of her nose to the glistening sweat that dripped underneath her top.

She was messy, yet so detailed. Every hair out of place seemed to fit perfectly a top her head. The lazy smear of lipgloss and eyeshadow applied carelessly yet laying in such way that it almost looked intentional.

It was that careless attitude that was so magnetic about her. The rockstar exterior she possessed attracting the innocent into her wild web of her craft.

But, despite her rockstar complexion and her love life reputation, the girl had an undeniable talent that could not be ruined by the poor press that swirled her name.

So it could only be fitting to place the most standout woman there into the cleanest band reputation wise. It was humorous, when it was announced. Y/n Y/l/n, joining Harry Styles for his long awaited Love On Tour.

Harry, who had hand picked her from the bunch of bassists waiting to wow him, was immediately aware of her presence. Her look sharp and eye catching, but her talent even better. She had a skill for her craft that nobody else was even able to come close to achieving. It was almost destiny she had shown up, notebook stuffed full of sloppy writing and bass scratched from her frustration.

Truthfully, Y/n hadn’t really longed to be placed into the band. She didn’t exactly enjoy the bright pinks and pop music that blasted through the speakers. She had only gone to the audition because she had been itching to play. Having traveled the world with some of the biggest inspirations, and by herself on a successful world tour a couple years ago, Y/n found herself bored in her home for so long. She was just about ready to go out a preform to a room filled with angry elderly people who hated all loud noises. Anything to give her the thrill of being in front of the crowd again.

So, when she was emailed one August evening, detailing of an audition for a bassist to join a well known artist on stage, she pushed aside her unfamiliarity with the genre.

It wasn’t that Y/n disliked pop music, it just wasn’t her favorite. She’s spent most of her time closer to a soft rock sound, pulling from past inspirations and old sounds that could be reworked into her work. The glitz and glam of the fresh and new sounding pop music was only something she hadn’t really gotten into, explaining why she felt more nervous than glad she was selected.

Yet, her ability to adjust and charm her way through her lack of experience within the genre was enough to keep her going, placing her where she was now. Standing next Harry, under the intense lights of Madison Square in the middle of one of the hottest summers to date.

…

A year had passed, just about, since Y/n first stepped onto the stage, her bass slung around her neck with a tattered strap that was practically molded to her shoulders. She gave a good amount to the band, adding in bass lines that ascended the songs into a better form of themselves. Making sure not to overpower the other instruments, but to lift them up and amplify how they sounded collectively as a band.

“That was good, that sounded great actually!” I turned back, the side of my lip pressed into the surface of the microphone. My hands found their way around the cord, untangling it to gain some more movement around the stage.

“Why don’t we recollect, get some water and stretch out?” I shot a thumbs up to the sound guy, who had been playing around with some switches behind a small barricade farther back in the arena. After the go ahead was given, the lights dimmed to a soft glow on top of the stage and the heat seemed less intense.

“No way, that’s so cool! Where did you find that, I’ve been having so much trouble looking for a new bass recently.” Her voice was slightly raspy, deeper too, I noticed from the dryness that I assumed was itching at her throat.

I watched her toss her head back, lips wrapped around the plastic water bottle until it crinkled beneath her hands and was left with nothing more than a few stray drops of water pooling at the bottom.

Elin, who she had been conversing with enthusiastically, seemed to match her energy precisely, showing Y/n the same amount of excitement over the new piece of equipment. Eyes gleaming with interest and passion over the topic. It felt warming knowing that work felt less like an obligation but instead was a privilege.

A close knit family that brought a dopey smile to my face at only the thought of it. I listened to them and there insane energy inconspicuously, eyes avoidant of the women and instead settled on the ledge between Sarah’s drums and where the trumpet players would stand later that night where the nearest supply of water was.

From afar, underneath the sound in my head of my aggressive swallowing of water, it sounded like the pair were dispersing. The conversation ended with a faint laugh that dwindled out the longer the conversation ended.

It was a true laugh, sincere. Almost a belly laugh but just not quite there yet. The sound so familiar it was instantly pinned in my mind as Y/n’s.

The common misconception about Y/n was that she was shallow, unfeeling and unknowing of basic relationships and proper manners. The media had poorly labeled the innocent woman, her lyrics thought to be too provocative and explicit. Too in depth and detailed that gossip accounts were ready to start this false narrative about the most undeserving person of the hate.

Maybe it was her careless expressions after completing a hard bass line, or her rockstar style that made her such an easy target for the untrue opinions and thoughts. She had that old grungy thing about her that both made her desirable and criticized, yet she made it work.

Y/n was the sun, in my eyes. A bright, young woman with wisdom beyond her years and heart so full it was overflowing with empathy and sympathy. Her lyrics reflected her past experiences, like any other artist. Her failed relationships that left her in the darkness and her distantly timed hook ups to fill the cold loneliness beside her bed.

Truthfully, she was more like the rest of the industry than any gossiper could comprehend. Her writing abilities expressed so freely, so vulnerable that it caused that discomfort, that pit in the listeners stomach forming with each song she put on her albums. The real truth was that she wasn’t some shallow, sex driven girl who dated guys to write about how they did her wrong. She was a loving woman who loved everyone more than life and was overly naive. She dated trying to find someone who could understand her like she understood everyone else. She spoke what was on her mind completely true and unfiltered constantly. Not fearful of the backlash her opinions would bring. That’s what continues to draw me to her throughout our time together.

“Hey, Harry.” Her voice was sweet, laced with honey and dripping in sweetness. I barely noticed her touch on my shoulder until I looked down at her guitar string scarred hands and found myself smiling.

“What’s up, Angel? What’s going on?” I turned my back to her, head thrown over my shoulder to look back to her face while my hands worked on screwing on the cover to my water bottle.

“You know, the usual. Just wanted to tell you I thought that note change during Sign of the Times was beautiful. You should go for those higher notes more often, you hit them every time.” She was completely honest in her opinions, which is why I held her words dear to my heart.

Y/n had no issue telling me what she thought. She was rather quick to give pointers of what worked better and how to substitute those notes that were strained and uncomfortable. Yet, she did it with such a down to earth point of view. She remained humble, even if everyone here knew she had talents beyond all of ours. She acted like she was just as good as the rest of us, like we were equals.

“I know, it’s just hard with so many people around. Don’t want to fall flat and ruin it.” Shrugging, we walked together to the stairs at the edge of the stage.

“Don’t psych yourself out, Styles. You nail those notes all the time. Your range is unbelievably complex. You have that ability to hit the higher notes every time.” She placed her hand in mine, following me down the stairs cautiously as the last one was always less steep than the rest, causing mishaps occasionally.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” We nodded at each other, silently understanding that the conversation was ending but still taking each other in. It almost felt like something was pulling us closer, eyes growing heavier and smiles getting looser. Breathing sharper.

“I’ll see you tonight, yeah?” It was breathy, the way it came out of her mouth. Almost like it was something she hadn’t wanted to say but forced herself to.

I nodded, watching her eyes crinkle before she turned away briskly, quick to find her escape through the illuminated tunnel. For a moment I felt like a fly in a web that was her creation, stuck in place to just stare as she left.

…

The show was unworldly. An atmosphere so intense and the energy so insane the floor swayed beneath my feet. The shows were structured the same each night, yet each one felt like a completely new experience. It was how the fans danced together in a formation that they’d created during Treat People With Kindness and how they’d share different experiences drawn out on their cardboard signs. It was surreal, something I felt lucky enough to experience with some of my closest friends, my band.

It went by smoothly, as projected to. The lights and the transitions between each songs igniting an excitement beyond no other I had ever experienced. Sarah played the drums precisely, hitting every beat necessary as her husband, Mitch, created the familiar tunes that were the songs of the past few albums. Within in the music, Y/n stood perched just next to Pauli, continuing to support Mitch and Elin within her bass playing.

By the time Kiwi had reached its end, I caught myself looking back to catch a glance at Y/n. Telling myself it was only to get a short moment to observe her living in her passion. Really, deep down I knew it was something more, something that had always been there yet I hadn’t had the courage to admit until that out loud.

…

The dressing room was quiet, after the show. The post show blues, as I used to refer to it as. The ultimate high coming back down with the realization that it was all over.

I let myself peel the sweaty chevron shirt off of my body and kicking off my green Gucci shoes. I left on the mismatched bottoms while ruffling through the pile of clothes packed in my suitcase for a shirt and shorts.

“Hey, rockstar. Trying a new look?” My head raised, turning halfway to meet her eyes.

“Yeah, really going for that oiled up 2000’s boy next door idea.” We laughed, eyes closing at how stupid I must’ve looked to her. Finding it funny and slightly embarrassing as the rose tint spread like wildfire across my cheeks.

Soon, our laughs turned into silence, warm smiles reflecting off of our faces onto the others. It was comfortable, lip caught between her teeth and mine pulling at the skin of my bottom one.

“I heard what you did tonight. Proud of you. I told you, you could hit that note change. Honestly, sounded better out there than at soundcheck.” My heart fluttered.

“I could say the same about you. It’s like you gain more power with each show.”

“Stop it, you just might make me blush.” She stepped closer, merely a few inches left separating the two of us. Her breath tickling my skin, her hands clenched by her sides nervously.

Suddenly, she had lost all that confidence that told the world she could play anyone like a fiddle. Suddenly she lost that fog around the mirror that created the illusion of a rockstar super player who moved from one man to the next, without rhyme or reason. She became what we’d all learned of her. The girl who loved long and hard on the people close to her, and the girl who despite was she was destined by the media to have been, had only had a couple relationships past the one night stands that filled her notebook. She batted her eyes, and I held my breath.

“Y/n…” It was a whisper. A soft murmur beneath my breath, but I was sure she’d heard it.

I found myself slowly reaching for her hand, opening it on top of my palm and brushing my fingers gently over the creases that ran along them before letting it fall back to her side. My eyes lifted from where we touched back to her face. Only to allow myself to find contact again. I let my hand slip around her waist, pulling slowly until our bodies were pressed together. The only thing separating our lips was the small gap we’d placed between them.

“Harry..?” She seemed conflicted, unsure almost. Hesitant.

“Is this okay?” It came out shaky, the nerves reaching a point that could only be cured by her acceptance.

“I…I just…” She thought on it, “I don’t want you to believe everything about me. I don’t want to lose you when you realize I’m not who you think I am.” The confession sounded like it was almost painful to admit.

“Oh.” I blinked, “Y/n, angel, no. I would never think that.” Her eyes were avoidant, her body more tense than moments prior.

“Please, look at me.” I let my other hand raise under his chin, pointer finger hooking underneath her chin to raise her gaze to mine, “To me, you are everything. You understand me. You see things that nobody else sees. Y/n, you bring out the best in me. I would have never had the courage to push myself and change that note tonight if you hadn’t pushed me to do it. You have this honesty that makes everyone value your words and you have this power over me that continues to draw me to you. I can not explain it, but believe me when I say you are all I want.” Her eyes fogged with what I believed to be her taking in my sudden confession. Yet, with her realization at what I had just said, she still remained silent and I felt the instant regret growing harder in my heart.

I had been through enough rejections to build a home. Yet, the thought of her rejecting me hurt more than anything I could’ve put myself through.

“Shit..Im sorry. I didn’t mean to-“ My explanation was no use, her hands on my cheeks and her lipstick smearing across my lips in a red hue as her lips pressed hard into mine in a sudden burst of confidence.

My eyes shut quickly, settling into it, only for it to be taken away quicker than I had longed for. Eyes opened in a lustful haze. Yet it wasn’t sexual, but completely innocent and perfect in every sense.

“I love you.” The words slipped passed my lips before I could stop them. A smile growing in a lovesick fashion across her face as my confession Is held in for so long reached her ears.

“I love you too.” She returned the confession, leaning in again to press her lips harder into mine and a heavenly sigh escaping her throat.

It was passionate and loving in a way that I’d never experienced before. The shared feelings were strong, new, vulnerable. A new beginning that both of us secretly longed for.

How funny the public would find it if the news ever broke that their precious bad girl rockstar was actually a giant love bug and an angel on earth. How much of a shock it would be to those who tore her down for her fashion choices and her lack of precautions in the public eye.

She might not be who she was made out to be from the exterior, but the one thing the press had gotten right about the devilish woman who broke too many hearts and dished out too many fights she could handle.

She is unforgettable.

[peavhyshy]

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ - PEPPERS

ᯓᡣ𐭩 pairing ─ ୨୧ ─ JJ Maybank ⋆ Reader

ᯓᡣ𐭩 summary ─ ୨୧ ─ in which you keep JJ company while he recovers from COVID-19, playing nurse and cuddling up to take care of him.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 warnings ─ ୨୧ ─ covid-19, sexually suggestive comments, fluff, some angst?, mild language, mention of JJ's dad, JJ kisses reader even though he has COVID, obviously you shouldn't kiss someone if you have covid but this based on that one Lana Del Rey lyric

ᯓᡣ𐭩 wc ─ ୨୧ ─ 1,424

𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊ ⊹ ˑ ִ ֶ 𓂃Peppers࣪ 𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊ ⊹ ˑ ִ ֶ 𓂃

(༝༚༝༚ lana del rey)

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── Outer Banks Masterlist ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── Navigation ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

You knocked on the screen door of the worn-down beach house, peering inside for any signs of life. "JJ?" you called out.

A round of violent coughing echoed from down the hall followed by a raspy voice. "In here!"

You let yourself in, wrinkling your nose at the lingering scent of beer and cigarettes that permeated the Maybank home. You found JJ curled up on the couch, wrapped in a tattered blanket. His nose was red, his blond hair a tangled mess. Used tissues littered the coffee table in front of him.

"You look like death," you said, plopping down on the couch next to him.

JJ cracked a smile. "Thanks, that makes me feel so much better." His voice was hoarse.

You playfully hit his arm. "You know what I mean. How are you feeling?"

"Oh, just dandy," JJ said. "Peachy keen." He erupted into another fit of coughing.

You grabbed a half-empty glass of water from the table and handed it to him. "Here, drink this."

JJ took a few sips to soothe his throat. "So I'm guessing you got my text about testing positive for the 'rona?"

"Yup, got it this morning," You said. As you absentmindedly pushed JJ's hair back from his sweaty forehead to feel his temperature.

"And you still came over?" JJ asked in disbelief. "I'm like super contagious right now."

You shrugged. "What can I say? I'm a ride or die. Gotta make sure you're okay."

JJ grinned and pulled you in for a big sloppy kiss. You squealed and pushed him away.

"Ew JJ! What the hell?" You dramatically wiped your mouth.

"Hey, you're the one who came to see me, COVID cooties and all," JJ said with a laugh that turned into a cough. "Might as well seal the deal and swap some germs."

You rolled your eyes but couldn't help smiling. "You're disgusting." you tossed him the TV remote. "Now pick something to watch while I make you some soup or something. We'll ride out this quarantine together."

JJ clicked on the TV, settling back into the couch. "You know, you really are the best."

"Yeah, yeah," you waved dismissively but you were still smiling. "Just don't cough on me anymore."

JJ grinned mischievously at you despite his sickly state. "Don't tempt me, I have no problem about getting you sick too if it means more time with my best girl." He faked a dramatic coughing fit, eliciting an exaggerated sigh from you though he could tell you weren't actually annoyed with him.

"You're just loving having me play nurse for you, aren't you?" You joked as you headed to the kitchen. He could get used to being quarantined if you were taking care of him, that was for sure. Maybe he'd milk this illness a little longer than necessary.

JJ stretched out languidly on the couch, the old springs creaking beneath his weight. He grabbed another tissue to blow his nose which was growing raw and irritated from constant wiping. At least he could still vaguely taste and smell - the steaming bowl of soup you soon presented to him was evidence of that.

"You're a lifesaver, I don't know what I'd do without you Y/N," JJ said earnestly after finishing the entire bowl in record time, his appetite apparently unaffected. He playfully patted the spot on the couch next to him, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Now, nurse, I believe your patient requires some additional tender loving care, if you know what I mean."

"Come on baby, you know you want to play nurse with me," he cajoled, patting the empty spot on the couch next to him. He faked another dramatic coughing fit. "I think I need some mouth-to-mouth resuscitation," he joked, making exaggerated kissing noises.

Truth be told, he just wanted you close to him, to feel your soothing presence. Having you here taking care of him made him feel cared for in a way he rarely experienced from his drunk deadbeat dad. He reached out and grabbed your wrist, pulling you down onto the couch. You let out a surprised squeak as you fell into his lap. JJ wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling into your neck.

"Mmm you smell good," he mumbled, breathing in the sweet floral scent of your skin and hair. You squirmed against him but didn't fully pull away. JJ reached up and playfully tugged on one of your strands of hair.

"Just let me hold you for a bit," he pleaded, giving you his best puppy dog eyes. "It'll help me feel better, I promise." He cracked a mischievous grin. "Unless you want to do more than cuddle…" he added suggestively, waggling his eyebrows.

You felt your cheeks flush as JJ pulled you into his lap, his arms holding you close. Despite his illness, that cocky grin of his still made your stomach flutter.

"JJ!" You tried to scold, but couldn't keep the smile off your face. His enthusiasm was infectious. You playfully swatted his hands away as they drifted to your chest.

"Cuddle only mister. I'm immune to those puppy dog eyes," You said firmly. Still, you relaxed into his embrace, nestling your head on his shoulder.

"For now at least," JJ teased, his warm breath tickling your ear. 

Maybe you’d regret this later, but right now taking care of a sick JJ felt natural. He needed you- and knowing that filled you with purpose. You glanced up at him, heart melting at the open affection in his eyes. You reached up and traced the bruise on his jaw from his latest fight.

"I'll always be here to patch you up JJ," you murmured. Impulsively you pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. JJ sighed in contentment, tightening his arms around you. For now, you simply held each other, letting the steady beats of your hearts lull you into comfort. The rest of the world could wait.

''Will your dad be back soon?''

JJ glanced nervously at the front door before settling his gaze back on you. "He shouldn't be back for a while," he said quietly. "Went on one of his benders last night so he'll probably sleep through the day."

JJ shifted on the worn couch, wincing slightly as the movement aggravated his sore ribs. He hoped you wouldn't notice - the last thing he wanted was your pity. "I wish he'd just disappear for good," JJ muttered bitterly. He scrubbed a hand across his face, not wanting to dwell on his useless excuse for a father.

"Anyway, enough about him," JJ said, forcing a grin. "I've got way better company right now."

He playfully tugged on one of the hair strands, admiring how the sunlight filtering through the blinds brought out the highlights in your hair. You were so beautiful it made his chest ache. JJ wished he could freeze this moment - just the two of you here together, your kind eyes gazing at him with understanding rather than judgment.

"You're too good to me Y/N," JJ said quietly. Before he could overthink it, he leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek. Your skin was petal soft beneath his lips.

JJ pulled back, heart hammering in his chest. He gave you a crooked smile, hoping you couldn't hear how loud it was beating. "So, wanna raid the crappy cable TV options with me? We can trash talk all the awful daytime soaps."

You looked shocked, unable to speak for a few moments before recovering. You composed yourself before answering, "You know I'll always be here for you JJ, whenever you need me." You give him a soft smile, trying to convey your sincerity. If he wants to drop the subject of his father and move on, you'll happily oblige.

"Daytime TV sounds perfect right now. Let's see who can come up with the most ridiculous plot summaries for these shows," You say with a playful grin. You grab the remote and start flipping through channels, settling on a particularly melodramatic soap opera.

Leaning into JJ's side, you point at the screen. "Okay, that guy definitely just found out the kid he's raising isn't actually his. And that woman is clearly his scorned ex-lover who's out for revenge." You dissolve into giggles, amused by your own silly narration.

You are glad to see JJ's somber mood start to lift, a small smile creeping onto his face. Moments like these make all the chaos and hardship feel worth it. As long as you have each other, you'll be okay.

[bettyshoweduptotheparty]

1989 - The story of two muses

Back to my first and forever love – Lyric analysis!

1989 is very close to my heart, and I have always found it noticeable that this album has quite a contrast between love songs about a very up and down/anxiety filled relationship on one hand, and the very raw and heartfelt romance as portrayed in ‘This Love’ and YAIL on the other.

And the 5 new vault songs we have on Taylor’s version now have added quite a bit of detail to the picture that emerges and I’m more convinced than ever that there are two distinct relationships/muses being described and I fancied doing a deep dive into how each one is described in the music and how the themes connect to other songs. (And it may even explain the beach theme 😉)

Ok, so, I have actually sorted every song from 1989 that is about a romantic relationship, including the 5 new vault tracks, into this scheme (even though I found some really hard!)

Muse 1 – “The heartbreaker” This relationship is described as very up and down, very anxiety-driven, something you can’t walk away from like an addiction, “against your better knowledge but can’t help myself” kind of way. Taylor has described this person as ‘the one that might one day interrupt your wedding, because you’re never truly over’.  Break up: ‘you left me’.

Muse 2 – “The one that came back” While this relationship is by no means described as perfect, it has a very different tone to it. It’s very much based in secure feelings, ‘us against the world’, any difficulty faced is worth it. Break up: ‘had to let it go’. And the person came back when it counted.

(Sorry about the pictures, I couldn't fit a table in any other way)

I am really impressed with how much just five new songs have furthered the story of these two relationships and I (personally) love how much this is filling in the blanks and makes everything make so much more sense. 'You can hear it in the silence' vs 'Now your silence has me screaming' almost killed me, honestly. She really found the love that needs no words. 🥰 And the direct contrast of the metaphors, one relationship as an addiction with very high highs and very low lows, and the other as the calm waves on the shore that continually come in and out with the tide, is just so masterfully done, I love it. And I think given the beach theme of the 1989 TV covers, we can guess which of the muses is being honoured in this re-branding.

Lyrical connections to later albums

Perhaps not surprisingly, these two muses and their lyrical themes show up again in Taylor’s music in later albums. The connection I’ve already seen a lot of people make is the playing cards reference from Say Don’t Go (‘I’m trying to see the cards that you won’t show’) linking to Cornelia Street (‘back when we were card sharks, playing games’). And I love how this tells the story of someone whose previous relationship impacts how they react in a new relationship. Because the person in Say Don’t Go really did lead her on and played her and then left, whereas the Cornelia Street muse didn’t but Taylor thought as much based on her previous experience (‘I THOUGHT you were leading me on…but then you called, showed your hand…’).

Another parallel to Lover songs is the ‘light in the dark’ theme that starts in This Love with “lantern burning/ flickered in my mind for only you”, which feels very similar to “chandelier still flickering here” from Death by A Thousand Cuts. This relationship/lover is the light that perseveres in the dark, even if it’s just flickering, it never goes out. It lights up the darkness (‘glowing in the dark’), whereas the other relationship is a “shot in the darkest dark”. We obviously get a whole lot more songs in later albums that reference love as light in the darkness, most prominently in Daylight, the Lover album closer. But more subtly, I also think that “Takin’ your time in the tangerine neon light” from Slut, and “hang your head low in the glow of the vending machine” from Cruel Summer follow that same pattern. Something that illuminates the darkness. And just btw, Slut and Cruel Summer give me a very similar vibe in terms of different takes on the same situation…anyone else get that? But one last, maybe more subjective, connection is the line “I’ll pay the price, you won’t”. Which everyone immediately took as a comment on double standards between men and women, but I think it could also be interpreted to mean ‘I’ll happily pay the price and take the hit, so you don’t have to’, if you interpret the song to be about dating a man in public to keep a female partner out of the public eye.  With that in mind, the line becomes very reminiscent of ‘I can never give you peace’ from folklore, both expressing that Taylor wants to shield her lover from the media scrutiny that comes with dating her.  

Suburban Legends alone has so many links to later songs that I had to give it its own paragraph. The chorus ‘I didn’t come here to make friends’ is so ‘I don’t want you like a best friend’ coded, and ‘We were born to be suburban legends’ gives me big reputation/big conversation vibes. Other people have already pointed out that ‘flushed with the currency of cool’ draws links to Gold Rush and Gorgeous (‘You’re so cool it makes me hate you so much’) and ‘so magnetic it’s almost obnoxious’ is very similar to ‘magnetic force of a man’ from Lover. All painting the picture of a person who is so cool and alluring that they feel almost unattainable. The whole premise of the song being that the narrator didn’t come to make friends, but instead is on a mission to get what they want, feels very Mastermind to me. The background music over the outro confirms that, as it’s the same production as Mastermind (I call it ‘game show music’ 😊) and the lyrics saying that the muse now doesn’t knock anymore, suggests to me that maybe the masterplan has worked. Lastly, the conclusion of the song being ‘my life is ruined/I always knew it’ is a different way of saying I’ll happily ruin myself for you, as in ‘for you I’d ruin myself a million little times’ from Illicit Affairs.

We don’t get nearly as many references to the first muse’s themes in later music, but ‘fell from the pedestal, right down the rabbit hole” from Long Story Short is a nice drawback to the wonderland theme. Bottom line though, ‘It was the wrong guy…’.

And there we have it, the story of the two muses of 1989. If anybody here is even remotely as excited by lyrical analysis as I am, this one is for you, and feel free to have a friendly chat in the comments if I’ve missed anything!

[dulu0z0427]

fun fact, this keyboards part of ctte might be morse code（begin in 4:52/7:13）

to prove it, i found a video on youtube that try to break the code, here's the most probative comment:

@tonescape1

I may have figured it out, but also see my other comments about this. Wakeman’s Morse code message is this, repeated 8 times (breaking off in the 9th) at its first appearance, and repeated 4 times (breaking off at the end of the 5th) in its second appearance:

.--....-..--..-.----

It has been stated that this is "Abraxas", the name of an ancient Gnostic deity, and also a symbolic character in Hesse's novel "Demian". Because Hesse's later novel "Siddhartha" was the actual inspiration for the lyrics of this song, the connection makes it very plausible. However, this is not “Abraxas”, because the last letter would need to be s (3 dots) not o (3 dashes). Wakeman plays the dots and dashes without leaving any silence between letters or words, which is what makes so many different interpretations possible. I just finally deciphered it. It’s actually a very clever pun, because it can be interpreted as “Abraxao”, which doesn’t mean anything, but will lead people down this incorrect path. I tried dozens of arrangements of spaces between the dots and dashes, which of course produce totally different letters or numbers, even thinking that maybe he was making a joke and that it was a London postal code beginning with E7 or W4. But there was only one interpretation I found that made sense. With spaces between letters, and slashes between words, it would be arranged thus:

. - / - . … / -. .- -- ..- .- -- -

It’s actually the Latin phrase “Et tes natuamt”, which Google translates into English as “And you will be born”, and which fits perfectly into the context of the song's lyrics. Comments from those who know Latin better than I would be appreciated. Or maybe someone can get Wakeman to comment himself

secondly, from MY own perspective, the decoding of Abraxas has been widely discussed among netizens, and as mentioned in the previous comment, it is an important symbol throughout the book of Demian, which i have read before, i scanned the first few pages, the text about Abraxas caught my attention (p1-2), and the corresponding lyrics in morse code are as follows (p3 is the first appearance, p4 is the second), considering that jon said that ctte was inspired by reading Siddhartha and Demian, i feel that both explanations are valid.

additionally, Abraxas is also a metaphor for evil and decay in mythology, and in Demian, it represents temptation and seduction. personally, I think it fits quite well in the lyrics of ctte, especially when the keyboards voice hidden behind jons singing, and the morse code typed out, hinting at temptation. alternatively, if the second translation is adopted, "And you will be born," it is more in line with the theme of Siddhartha.

idk if rick had some Latin lessons so that he could write these code, or it's just jon wanted to add something mystery in ctte,

im not so sure about my conjectures, but it's exciting to re-understanding my fav song.

enjoy!

[loveofmychips]

get him back! - Steven Hyde x Reader

A/N: first time writing for That 70s Show! This is based on Season 1, and inspired by the new song, ‘get him back!’ by Olivia Rodrigo. I heard the lyrics and thought immediately of Hyde. Hope you love this, and let me know what you think. DISCLAIMER, I DO NOT SUPPORT DANNY MASTERSON, I AM WRITING FOR THE CHARACTER HYDE ONLY!!!

Summary: you decide you want to get your ex back….just in a more ‘sinister’ way

Pairing: Steven Hyde x Reader

Word Counter: 3,512

Warnings: angst, slow burn, cursing, toxic relationship (pls don’t think this is healthy lol), lotsss of arguing, mentions of sex, harassment, alcohol

~~~~~~~~

I met a guy in the summer, and I left him in the spring

He argued with me about everything

He had an ego and a temper and a wandering eye

He said he's six-foot-two, and I'm like, "Dude, nice try"

You were introduced to the gang in the summer by Donna. You had been talking to her throughout sophomore year, and she decided you would be a perfect fit for the group.

Everyone was kind of weird, but you found it fun and loved how things were always different with them, especially when it came to Steven Hyde.

You had always thought he was cute, even before officially meeting him. His curly hair was something you wanted to touch and play with, and his eyes hidden behind sunglasses made him seem mysterious. Not to mention, who doesn't love a ‘fuck the patriarchy’ kind of attitude.

So, despite it taking a while to happen, you both eventually started dating at the beginning of the new year. And it was a complete trainwreck.

Hyde was the worst boyfriend at times. He never wanted to do the things you wanted, he would show up late to pick you up, and sometimes it felt like you were just convenient eye candy.

What made it worse? It was clear he had a thing for Donna, despite her and Eric wanting to be together.

After a month, others started to notice.

You were in the basement with Eric, working on a school project when Donna walked in.

"Hey, y/n, can we talk?" Donna asked as she sat on the couch.

"Well, we are kind of busy," Eric started before you interrupted with, "Yeah, sure."

Eric looked taken aback but put his book down anyway and sat back. "Right, it's not like we need to do schoolwork. Who needs education?"

"Eric, shut up," Donna rolled her eyes. "Look, we need to talk about you and Hyde... I don't know if you should keep going out with him."

There was an awkward silence before Eric got up. "I'm gonna... go anywhere but here," he said before rushing up the steps.

"What are you talking about?" You sighed, putting down your own books.

"He treats you like crap! I was at The Hub yesterday, and he showed up. I asked if you were with him, and all he had to say was, 'No,' and I know for a fact you were excited to have a movie night with him last night. You don't deserve to be treated like that!" Donna insisted.

You hesitated for a moment. That's where he was. It was bad enough he never showed up for your date at the theater, but the idea that he was with Donna instead made it even worse. You ended up drowning your feelings in buttered-up popcorn and the movie "Fun with Dick and Jane."

Most of the time when he wanted to hang out, he would drag you out to multiple parties and any club he could sneak you both into. If it was something you wanted to do, like a movie night, you would find yourself alone.

You shrugged it off, telling Donna, "Oh no. We actually canceled it. I wanted some alone time."

Donna saw through your excuse and tried to argue with you, but that day you insisted on moving on.

It didn't get better. You had more interactions similar to it, not only with Donna but soon with Eric, Jackie, and even Fez, all within the same week.

He said I was the only girl, but that just wasn't the truth

And when I told him how he hurt me, he'd tell me I was trippin'

But I am my father's daughter, so maybe I could fix him

"Hyde, can we talk?" You asked softly as he flipped through a magazine next to you on the bed.

"What about?" He mumbled, not really paying attention to you. Not like he had been for the entire two hours you'd been at his house.

"Hyde, you stood me up last week. Can you put down the magazine?"

Hyde huffed and threw it down, saying, "There. What?"

You took a deep breath and sat up on his bed. "Look, I know you're not always the most romantic or anything, and I'm not trying to demand too much, but can we agree that if we set a date, you'll show up to it? It's really embarrassing for me, and others notice-"

"It's none of their business. Since when did you care what the others think?" Hyde questioned, his eyes narrowing at you behind his dark-tinted sunglasses. Despite wearing them, you always could tell his expression behind them.

"Well, I care when I get told by everyone that you treat me like shit," you stated in a point-blank manner.

Hyde chuckled a little, as if you were stating lies that were barely grazing his tough, shielded skin. "I don't treat you like shit."

"You ditched me last week! I think I have a right to want to talk about it, instead of you grunting your way through it like a caveman," you defended, glaring at the man in front of you.

Hyde was pissed. You always let him off the hook, and the one time you tried to talk about it, he was acting like you were the bad guy.

"I'm not grunting! You're making a big deal out of nothing. This is why guys are better off being single. Girls make everything so complicated," Hyde snapped.

You were shocked he suggested the idea of it, but why should you be? It makes sense, doesn't it? The reason Hyde is a horrible boyfriend is that he doesn't want to be your boyfriend.

"Really? You mean that?" You whispered. "Then let's make it easier for you. We're over."

"Y/n, hold on-"

Before he could say anything else, you grabbed your jacket and rushed out of his house. As you left, you vaguely heard his mom yelling at you both to keep it down because her program was on.

Luckily, she wouldn't have to worry about that anymore.

So I write him all these letters, and I throw them in the trash

'Cause I miss the way he kisses and the way he made me laugh

Yeah, I pour my little heart out, but as I'm hitting "send"

I picture all the faces of my disappointed friends

Because everyone knew all of the shit that he'd do

Two months later, you were still hanging out with the gang.

Strangely enough, you were fine with being around Hyde once you got over it. At least you thought you were. Hyde only tried once to talk to you about breaking up. As quickly as you shot him down, he backed off completely, and you two practically never had conversations longer than short one-liners of insults back at each other.

Despite all the bad, you found yourself mostly remembering the good. The reasons you liked him in the first place: Hyde made you laugh, he was one hell of a kisser, and he knew how to comfort you if you were upset about school or anything else that wasn't about him.

You found comfort in your journaling, writing out your thoughts constantly because if you admitted to Jackie or Donna you missed him at night, then they would surely yell at you.

You were content writing it out. At least you thought you were.

Prom night was coming up, and people were pairing up one by one, leaving you with only two options: go with Fez or someone you barely knew.

Both were not ideal.

You were with the girls at Donna's house as she showed off her cute outfit for Prom.

"These are the shoes I'm wearing to Prom! Aren't they cool?" Donna said, holding up silver low pumps with an excited smile.

"Oh my God, I was gonna get new shoes except Michael didn't ask me," Jackie replied before you could compliment the cute shoes.

Donna looked a little discouraged before turning around and grabbing her dress off the cabinet above the fridge. "You like my Prom dress, right?"

"Of course! It matches your eyes!" You grinned, holding the end of the beautiful blue satin dress.

"I was gonna get a new Prom dress... except Michael didn't ask me," Jackie said with a pouty expression, making you and Donna just awkwardly nod. Luckily, Donna knew how to move the conversation along.

"I'm so nervous about Prom! I think it's gonna be the night that Eric and I... you know?" Donna hinted, making Jackie state, "Oh my Gosh, that's when Michael and I were gonna do it the first time!"

"You and Kelso did it like two months ago, and like thirty times after that!" You groaned out. "Look, why don't you just ask Kelso to go with you if you're so desperate?"

Jackie gasped and looked on the verge of tears. "Okay, first off, it would've been the first time at a Prom! Second off, this is the Prom! This is not the time for your stupid feminist crap!"

The door opened to reveal Eric and Kelso. The door slammed, leading to a usual standoff between Kelso and Jackie. It felt like a wild west showdown.

"Hello, Michael."

"Hello, Jackie."

"I'm just here helping Donna get ready for Prom... because Eric and Donna are going to Prom," Jackie stated, with tears still in her eyes.

"Yes, we are," Eric nodded in agreement, making you roll your eyes at the awkwardness. Kelso chuckled and replied, "I'm going to Prom...". You and Donna looked at him in hope to end the pain of Jackie complaining, while Jackie's eyes widened up until he finished his sentence, "I'm taking Pam Macy."

Donna immediately stood up and bolted out of the room into her living room, to which Eric followed nervously.

"Well, I'm gonna go—" You started heading for the door until Jackie yanked your arm back to sit down at the dining table again.

"Well, I have a date too," Jackie stated in a matter-of-fact tone, making you look at her confused. Why in the hell would she lie about that?

Then Kelso's reaction made everything make sense.

"Who is it? What's his name?" Kelso interrogated, as if he was a detective finding out who the killer is. Jackie was a spoiled brat, but damn did she know how to get a reaction out of Kelso.

"His name is... not important. What's important is he's better than you, in every conceivable way," Jackie smirked, leaning back in her chair all smug.

"Well. Damn, Jackie! That can be anybody!"

I wanna get him back

I wanna make him really jealous, wanna make him feel bad

Jackie's brilliance shone through in her unintentional advice on getting back at Hyde. As for your story, here's the continuation with grammar and punctuation improvements:

That day, you left Donna's house with a passion you had never felt before. You wondered if this is how Hyde felt when he pulled pranks on the boys or did something bad. It felt risky, but also so damn good.

You ended up going to The Hub and found a guy from school, Ethan. You never had a particular interest in Ethan. He was sort of bland but popular at school for being on the basketball team. So why him?

You distinctly remembered that one afternoon when you were dating, Hyde thought the guys who played basketball on the team were stupid for wearing uniforms with shorts.

Plus, Ethan was still somehow available, so it was perfect, right?

Well, that's where you messed up. He was available because he was a creep. He was already hinting at getting you into a hotel room before you could even figure out what time he was picking you up.

As much as you'd love to change your mind, you knew you needed a date. The plan wouldn't work without one, plus Jackie would kill you for going stag. So you went with it.

The night of prom, Ethan showed up at your door with bad intentions in his eyes.

You wore a lovely (f/c) floor-length gown with black heels that fit wonderfully to your figure. Your (h/c) hair was left down and hairsprayed to perfection, and you held a small black purse with your stuff. Long story short, you looked hot. Any idiot would have been able to see that, meaning Hyde would too.

"Well, you look ready to stay in the back seat of my car all night," Ethan badly flirted, making you roll your eyes.

"I'm more interested in going to the prom... you know, the thing I asked you to in the first place?" You hinted while walking to his car.

He moved to open the passenger-side door for you, which was sweet until he ruined it with a, "Well, we will see how you feel after an hour."

This was going to be a long night.

Oh, I wanna get him back

'Cause then again, I really miss him, and it makes me real sad

Oh, I want sweet revenge, and I want him again

I want to get him back, back, back

The Point Place Junior Prom looked adorable with the multi-colored streamers, balloons, and a rocking band, which managed to cheer you up after the lousy ride there. The entire ride, Ethan kept trying to put his hand on your thigh, as if you'd skip the entire prom just for a loud five minutes with him in a crappy motel room.

You attempted to have a fun night, but disappointment was slowly taking over you. It was the end of the night, and everyone was slow dancing. Hyde had been with Jackie, and you doubted he even was looking at you.

Ethan was nonstop insisting all night on leaving, which only continued to bug you more and more.

"Hey, Ethan, can you get me some punch?" You asked, putting a halt to the dance.

"Yeah, fine." Ethan huffed and walked away. You walked over to the table where Jackie was sitting, noticing how sad she looked.

"Hey, Jackie... you look great tonight. That color is great on you," you complimented, realizing you hadn't talked to her all night due to her being with Hyde.

"Thanks... I'm sorry I brought Hyde. I thought it would make Michael jealous, but I don't think he cares about me with Pam Macy around," Jackie admitted, before her sad eyes became soft and hopeful.

You turned to see Kelso behind you, looking down at her with love.

"Jackie."

"Michael."

You smiled at them both before getting up from the table to leave them alone. At least someone's plan worked tonight. You looked around to try and spot Ethan. He was nowhere to be found near the refreshment table, and instead, you spotted Hyde watching you.

Hyde nodded up at you in his silent, "How you doin'?" style. Slowly, you started to walk towards him.

"Hey... how's the punch?" You attempted to joke, making him crack a small smile.

Hyde pulled back his jacket to reveal a small flask. "Better with alcohol. I would ask if you want some, but you barely drank when we were together."

"Well, maybe it's a good thing that was a while ago," you commented, getting some punch and holding out your cup for him to spike it.

Hyde smirked and poured some in for you until you heard someone clear their throat.

You turned to see the one and only, Ms. Kaminski.

"Is that alcohol I see?"

Oh, I wanna key his car, I wanna make him lunch

I wanna break his heart, stitch it right back up

I wanna kiss his face with an uppercut

I wanna meet his mom, and tell her her son sucks

"Dammit, Hyde, I can't believe you got us kicked out of the dance! My date is in there!" You scolded as the double school doors closed behind you both.

Hyde rolled his eyes and attempted to start walking away from you. "Oh yeah, your date. Ethan's a real charmer," Hyde mumbled.

This is what he always did. But you weren't letting him get away that easy. Not like when you were dating. You rushed in front of him and pushed back on his shoulder to make him stop walking.

"For your information, that date was my ride home! Thanks to you, I'm walking home in heels. Which, by the way, are not comfortable!" You snapped.

"Relax, man. I can drive you home. I got Jackie's Lincoln," Hyde groaned. "I thought with the drink maybe you have chilled out a bit—"

"Chill out? Hyde, this was the junior prom! I was excited for the dance, and now it's done! All because I accepted a fucking drink from your... your dumbass!" You yelled before lightly smacking his shoulder, as most of the gang does to each other.

"Screw you, Steven Hyde. Screw your alcohol, and screw your ride! Just screw, screw, screw!"

You don't think you ever said "screw" that much in your entire life. Usually, it's a regular curse word like "fuck," but for some reason, all you could think of was... well, "screw." That's all Hyde ever had done for you. He was the one who screwed everything up. Not just tonight, but your entire past relationship.

As you started walking away down the sidewalk to go home, you instantly started to regret not putting up with your anger for the ride. God, do heeled shoes start to hurt after a short time. You knew you got out what needed to, though. Despite your breakup being so explosive, Hyde and you never talked about it otherwise. Maybe that's just because he hates relationship drama and never brought it up. Or maybe you were just too weak from the pain to ever really confront him about it all.

Regardless, the tension between you two had been brewing for 3 months, and you should have known it would have been released sooner or later.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a car approaching you from the side, and though you tried not to look, you eventually did.

Hyde was slowly driving next to you with the Lincoln, just as he promised earlier. He started rolling down the windows and said, "Y/n, get in."

"No."

"Stop acting tough. I know your feet probably hurt."

You stopped at that statement. You turned towards the window as anger slowly started brewing again.

"Oh yeah? Because you know so much, don't you? You know everrrrrything about me, don't you? Tell me more about how I'm feeling, oh please, Hyde." You growled, turning and starting to walk again.

Hyde jumped out of the Lincoln, slamming the door closed and jumping in front of you.

"You should be grateful, man! Your date was a creep and was grabbing your ass all night!" Hyde snapped. "Now cut the crap, and get in the damn car!"

His words made you freeze before saying, "How would you know he was grabbing my ass?"

"What am I, stupid?! I watched you all night—" He started before realizing what he was saying, "Dammit..."

"You're jealous—"

"No—"

"That I was with someone else." You finished.

"I wasn't jealous. I was just making sure he didn't do anything!" Hyde defended with a sigh.

You slowly moved towards him with a small smile covering your face, "Hyde..."

Hyde took a deep breath, "He's a jerk... And I was a jerk. You don't deserve that, alright? Not again." He mumbled, stepping towards you until you were close to each other's faces.

"You're right. I don't deserve that... so whatever this is right now should stop."

"Yeah... we should stop..."

Your words didn't match your actions. Neither of you backed away. It felt like hours you stood there staring into each other's eyes, when in reality it was only a minute.

"But what if we didn't?" Hyde whispered, gently reaching up to move your (h/c) hair out of your (s/c) face as a soft wind casted.

"Hyde—"

"I messed up. I know I did, alright? I suck and took you for granted. Can you forgive me?" Hyde pleaded, holding onto your face now with both of his hands.

You hesitated, knowing how everyone in the gang would feel. They would say you're stupid for taking him back. The amount of burns would be endless in the basement.

The fear of him hurting you again was strong... but damn, the temptation was stronger.

"You promise not to look at other girls? To go on dates with me like I want? To stop being late?" You whispered.

Hyde nodded quickly, "I promise—"

You cut him off, pressing your lips against his. Hyde wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you as close as possible yet it still didn't feel close enough.

The taste of alcohol mixed with crappy high school dance punch never tasted better than on his lips and tongue. It sent fireworks throughout your body, knowing he was yours again. And it was gonna stay that way.

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 18: Balls (Bullet Train)

Sometimes (oftentimes) it's true that all you need are Balls. I personally absolutely love Balls. I'm a big fan! Ekhem. Today I'm using the help of (I mean, copying most of the passages from it) my earlier Balls rant that I have written down after my first listen of it back in January. I really love this album and I don't want to completely skip over saying a couple words on it at least but I really don't think I have the headspace to write anything very good for it today. I'll still try though!

So yeah, Balls. It's a great album, fun and chill (in my sense of what I call and consider chill anyway), consistent, as Sparks albums tend to be, and as I suspected / hoped it does fit this specific vibe of driving around at night somewhere city-like and illuminated. Or being on a train deep at night and looking at the world zooming by (if you'd even see much of it on a train at night anyway.....). And I do think that it's not so dissimilar to Gratsax (I'd say now that it's definitely darker and moodier than its predecessor...). So it's interesting to think about how it's considered to be one of the "weak" ones (by music reviewers at least) while Gratsax is so beloved in comparision.

I will admit, I don't really know what the big problem with this album could be. As I said, it's fun, it has the melodies, it has the energy, it has the theatricality (I like seeing how more and more orchestral instruments such as strings are being incorporated into the music, in a way the jump into Lil' Beethoven two years later doesn't come of as THAT much of a shock because of this. The evolution of sound here is fascinating!) I really like the intense beats, just as much as the more laid-back and moodier pieces. And there's lots of gold to be found in the lyrics department as always.

One more thing I wanna say is that at some point I wondered if this music sounds older than it is. Maybe it does? But then I remembered that this was 2000 and honestly when I think about it, there just IS something about this album that fits so well with the Y2K image and vibe and all. Sparks 2000 and all that.

Favourite songs (and other highlights):

Balls: I mean. It's Balls.

Scheherazade: absolutely LOVE this one and I had the strangest impression of it sounding very familiar when I first heard it. Months later I found out that it was just briefly featured in TSB so I think that explains it (I will talk more about my TSB viewings on TSB day. EVERYTHING has to be explained in excruciating detail, lmao)

The Calm Before The Storm: bugsonas 4ever. Song itself is amazing too

How To Get Your Ass Kicked: how can a song about getting your ass kicked be so pleasant and relaxing, it always keeps cracking me up, how perfect that is actually

Bullet Train: I love it how introducing the topic of the song with a "It's the [topic of the song]" is a reoccurring theme on this album. Thank you Sparks for this ode to technology and art (these lyrics always have me giggling). And also it just goes hard as heck

It's Educational: a perfect fusion of / sequel to I Thought I Told You To Wait In The Car and Progress (it's mostly the vocal delivery that reminds me of the latter)

The Angels: such an odd one here but I still like it a lot, I apparently said that it sounds "surprisingly mainstream for Sparks but somehow in a positive way". It's very sweet and I absolutely love how Russell sings here, it's so different from what we're used to but that only makes it hit you even more in the feels, lol. And I actually prefer the alternative version of this song that's featured as a bonus track, and I do think that's in big part because you can hear Russell better on it (or that was my first impression of it at least and it kind of stuck)

[captain19cb97]

Pre-Anniversary (M) s.cb

What's better than celebrating an anniversary? Celebrating the night before.

Pairing: Idol!Changbin x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 5.4k

Genre: Fluff, Smut (18+ MDNI) Established Relationship

Warnings: This is 100% smut, meaning, if you are not 18 or older, please DO NOT INTERACT with this story. Unprotected sex (reader is on birth control but as always, be smart and safe, use protection of multiple kinds) Pet names (baby, jagi, jagiya, princess) Praise, cursing, slight overstimulation and mentions of food.

"So what are you guys doing for your anniversary tomorrow?"

Changbin turned around from the mixer to look at Han. They had both stayed longer than everyone else tonight to try to finish brainstorming some more lyrics on a song that Chan had started and it was getting really late.

"We're not doing anything. Why?"

Han could've snapped his neck with how quickly he turned his head, letting his phone fall into his lap. "What do you mean you guys aren't doing anything?! It's your guys 6 month anniversary! You've got to do something!"

Changbin just shrugged as he turned his attention back to the screen in front of him, "She doesn't really like celebrating them. So we haven't."

"Any of them?"

Changbin just shook his head, "We celebrated our 3 month and then she told me that she didn't really care to celebrate them like most people do with like gifts and things. So we make dinner together, take a walk after we eat and then we watch a movie before we go to bed."

Han couldn't believe what he was hearing. This was the same man who constantly whined about wanting to buy her things before they were dating, but didn't half the time, because he was worried it would bother her. Now he has a reason to do it and doesn't?!

"You don't buy her gifts?" Han asked slowly, finally sitting up to fully engage in the conversation that he started.

Changbin saved the file then turned to look at Han and smiled, "I buy her flowers every two or three weeks. I buy her lunch twice a week, coffee every day that she has a meeting first thing in the morning. She goes to the gym with me every other day, if she can. She buys me lunch twice a week too, and coffee when we spend entire days in promotions." He shrugged a little, "If she noticed that her bouquet of flowers this morning, was bigger than usual, she didn't say anything. And she bought me lunch today, even though she was on a shoot set."

Han knew now. He knew by the look on Changbin's face, every day was like an anniversary for you guys. You both were happy and fit together like a lock and key- like everyone knew you guys would. He nodded and smiled, "You guys are disgustingly cute, you know."

Changbin laughed, "Yeah, I know. Not all the time though."

Han was skeptical and made a face to show it. "You sure? Because it sounds like you just described something that happens in movies or dramas. And that's your guys actual relationship."

"It's not always perfect, Hannie." Changbin shook his head. "We argue, we've had a couple fights. We get mad at each other sometimes when we disagree on something."

"Yet, you still do all of those things you just told me." Han pointed out, leaning back into the couch. "You guys have found a good balance obviously."

The older man nodded, finding no reason to disagree with Han. "Yeah, but that's the whole point of being in a relationship, isn't it?" He asked rhetorically, "We fight, we make up. We disagree, we try to find a middle ground. We get mad at each other; we give each other space to cool off then talk about it before the day's over."

Changbin wondered if your ears were burning because his phone went off on the desk behind him. Your specialized ring tone blasting "Hey Stupid, I Love You" for a few seconds before he answered the call.

"Hey, Jagi. What's up?"

"Are you still coming over tomorrow? I know you're still working on new music, so you've been staying later lately, so I just wanted to double check."

He smiled at your voice. The soft tone, told him you were ready to fall asleep, likely had already fallen asleep on your couch before you called him, actually. The slow way you spoke when you were sleepy always made his heart flutter and brought a smile to his face. There was just something about it that got to him and reminded him just how much he loved you.

"Yeah, I was planning to. I was going to tonight too, but you sound tired." He answered finally, seeing the dumb grin on Han's face.

You mumbled something softly, sleepily and it made him chuckle.

"One more time, baby. I didn't understand that."

You sighed loud enough for him to hear, "I said, I want you to come over though." He could hear the pout in your voice, and it made him smile even more, picturing the look on your face.

"It's late though." He said softly, only to hear you whine.

"Please?" You begged. "I haven't seen you in a week because of this shoot and I miss you."

That was true and it made him frown slightly, hearing the hurt in your voice. You had been working off property for another company the last few days and hadn't actually seen each other since you had dinner with all of the guys the weekend before. He had to have your flowers delivered to your apartment this morning because he couldn't actually give them to you, and you did the same thing with his lunch.

Han could see Changbin's face change, ever so slightly, but it was enough to know that he was bothered by whatever you had said.

"I know, Jagi. I miss you too." He sighed.

Han nodded to himself, moving to push Changbin in the chair, out of the way of the computer and saving everything before shutting it all down.

"Hold on, Jagi, okay?" He heard Changbin say before he turned to look at him. "What are you doing? We need to finish this."

Han just shook his head, "Go see your girlfriend, Hyung. I'll work on this some more at the dorm and then we can finish it in the morning."

Changbin didn't argue, not that he wanted to. Instead, he clapped Han on the shoulder as he stood from the chair and pocketed his things quickly, still holding his phone to his ear. "Okay, baby? I'll be there soon, okay?"

"Really?" You asked excitedly, the sleepiness in your voice still present but not as much.

Changbin nodded to himself, "Yeah, do you want me to pick something up to eat? Have you eaten dinner yet?"

"No, I haven't. I got home at like 9 and ended up falling asleep on the couch right after that." You admitted.

He hummed, "I'll get something then. I'll see you in a bit." He stopped, "I love you."

It had only been about a month or so since the first time he told you he loved you and every time he did, he was still nervous. You still made him nervous in general, but it was always in a good way. Like he still couldn't believe you had ever said yes to going out with him, couldn't believe that you loved him back.

"I love you, too. Thank you, baby. And tell Ji I said thank you, too."

He nodded, "I will."

He slid his phone into his pocket and looked at Han, "She said thank you. I'm assuming for sending me home, I don't know. But seriously, thanks, man."

Han smiled and grabbed his own stuff, "Don't worry about it, Hyung. You guys are used to seeing each other every day and I know that you've been upset this whole week because you guys haven't had time together."

Changbin shrugged a little as they both walked out of the studio and headed for the elevator. "I'm going to have to get used to not seeing her everyday though. As much as I don't want to. Especially with the tour coming up."

"I thought she was going with us?" Han asked, stepping into the elevator after Changbin.

"She was going to, yeah. But she just got offered a contract with Starship to do a couple shoots with Monsta X again, while we're gone." Changbin made a face, "I told her she should take the contract."

The elevator dinged, opening to the lobby, "Why? Don't you want her to go with us?" Han asked, walking out into the lobby.

Changbin looked up from his phone where he was currently ordering food to pick up. "Yeah, of course I do! I don't like the idea of not seeing her for 4 months, but we both have responsibilities and it's not always up to us how things go."

"But this could be something that goes your way, Hyung! She can get a different contract with them after the tour or something."

Changbin shook his head, "They go on tour, right after we do. And she'd go to the first couple dates with them."

Han looked at Changbin, a confused knock between his brows, "You'd rather she go on tour with a group that isn't us?"

Changbin groaned, rubbing at his forehead, "No, Han. I want her to go with us, but I know that she also wants to take the contract. But I'm not going to make her choose between us and them, that's shitty." He shook his head, "I'm never going to ask her to choose between me, or our group, and anything else."

They stood there in silence for a moment before Changbin sighed and looked back at Han, "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

Han nodded, "Yeah. I hope you guys have a good night. Is she coming back to work tomorrow?"

"I think so, yeah. Today should've been the last day for her shoot." Changbin answered, slowly heading for the garage.

"Cool. Maybe we can all get lunch together tomorrow then."

Changbin smiled, "I'm sure she'd love that. Night, man. See you in the morning."

"Yeah, night, Hyung."

It took about 20 minutes before Changbin was stepping through your apartment door and tugging his shoes off, before his eyes landed on your figure on the couch, the light of the movie you had playing on the tv, hitting your face in the dark living room.

Asleep again.

He set the bag of food down on the counter before softly padding into the living room and kneeling down in front of you. "Jagi?" He moved your bangs away from your face. "Jagiya, wake up." He spoke softly, cupping your cheek as you slowly peeled your eyes open and looked at him. He smiled, leaning in to kiss your forehead, "Hi, baby. Sorry it took me so long. Are you hungry?"

You nodded slowly, curling your arms around his neck tightly, "Hi. I missed you." You breathed into his neck as he wrapped his arms around your waist just as tightly.

He chuckled, "I missed you, too. How did your shoot go?"

You made a noise in response. Not wholly negative but not positive either.

"That good, huh?" he grinned.

You leaned back enough to look at his face, scrunching yours up, "It was a shoot. I miss my boys." You laid your head back on his shoulder, tucking your face back into his neck. "Missed you the most though." You mumbled, pressing a soft kiss to the skin under his jaw. You felt his fingers on your skin at your hip, sliding slowly under the fabric of your shirt, his shirt, as you pressed another kiss to a different spot on his neck.

"Baby, you need to eat." There was a slight edge to his voice that got worse as his sentence tapered off as you kept kissing his neck.

You hummed, "What if I'm hungry for something else right now though?" You whispered, pulling back to look at him as you threaded your fingers through his hair, pushing his baseball hat off his head and to the floor.

In the 6 months you guys had been dating, there had been a lot of making out, tender touching and some action- that had only been in the last couple weeks though and neither of you ever got fully naked- you had yet to actually have sex together. You guys had talked about it, it wasn't something that you were waiting for the perfect time or anything, it came down to having the time and both of you being in the mood for more than some light, over the clothes stuff.

You had made your mind up about a month ago that you were ready to take that final step about it but you were waiting to actually do anything about it until you knew that Changbin had decided the same. Not wanting to just spring that on him if he wasn't quite ready for that yet.

He looked down at you, your eyes peering up at him with a look he hadn't seen yet, but he knew exactly what you meant and wanted, and he'd be damned if he didn't want it too. He came to the same conclusion about the same time you did but was nervous to bring it up at the time. "Are you sure?" He asked softly, his eyes roaming your face as he waited for you to answer him.

You smiled, nodding slowly, "I am. I have been for a while, but I was waiting in case you weren't."

He made a quiet noise in disbelief before his hands were somehow under both of your thighs and he had you in his arms as stood before the couch. "I was waiting in case you weren't." He mumbled, grinning wide at your surprised expression as you clung to him. "But now that that's out of the way, will you let me take care of you, baby?"

You felt your body still as his tone dropped low, his eyes meeting yours. You nodded, wrapping your legs around his waist. "Only if you let me take care of you too."

He shook his head, heading for your bedroom, "Another time, princess. Tonight, is about you. I'm going to show you how much I love you and you're going to let me. Right?"

You giggled as he pushed your door open wide enough to walk you both through it, "Are you telling or asking, baby?"

"Both. Will you let me show you how much I love you? Will you let me imprint every inch and curve of your body to my memory for all the times I can't have you? Will you let me write songs in my kisses on your skin," His knees hit the edge of the bed, "As you make every noise that I've dreamt of hearing?"

You whimpered as you leaned down, softly connecting his lips to yours, "Please, Binnie." You whispered against his lips before he dropped you onto the bed, wasting no time in leaning over you and planting one hand beside your head and the other on your side, under your shirt as he settled between your legs.

You grabbed at the front of his shirt, balling the collar in both of your hands as you pulled him closer to you, reveling in the pressure of him in top of you, his hips pressing teasingly into yours before you trailed your hands down his arms then down his back, grabbing the hem of his shirt and giving it a light tug. He pulled away long enough for you to pull it over his head before you let it fall to the ground, forgotten, as your eyes greedily took in the golden expanse of his chest as his hands found the hem of your shirt next.

He sucked in a breath once your shirt lay forgotten next to his, his eyes landed squarely on your bare chest beneath him. "Have you been like this all day, baby?"

He met your eyes, and the growing blush on your cheeks as you looked back at him and nodded slowly. "I didn't want to wear a bra today, so I didn't." You admitted softly. "I like how your shirts feel against my skin."

He groaned deeply, quickly pressing his lips back to yours for a moment before he trailed them down your neck and across your chest before he swiped his tongue over one of your nipples, taking the other in between his fingers and giving an experimental pinch as you moaned, and your fingers found his hair once again.

"Bin," You moaned softly again, closing your eyes as he moved, giving your other nipple the same attention.

He hummed against your skin, trailing his tongue between the valley of your tits before he looked at you, his hands trailing down your sides and just barely sitting on the waistband of your jeans. "You're going to let me worship you, right, Jagi?" You nodded, meeting his eyes as he ran his fingers along the band. "And you're going to tell me when I'm making you feel good, right?" You nodded again. "Words, baby. I need you to talk to me."

"I'm going to let you worship me, Binnie. I'll tell you when you're making me feel good, I promise." You breathed in anticipation as his fingers quickly popped the button on your jeans. "Please, just touch me, baby, please?"

He grinned, pressing a kiss below your naval and slowly tugging your pants down your legs, taking your panties along with them. "Anything for you, princess. You sound so pretty when you beg, you know that?" He wasted no time trailing his lips down the rest of your body, pressing soft kisses to both of your hips as he gently pushed your legs apart, smirking up at you as he slid his thumb between your folds, gently flicking your clit a couple times. "You're soaked, princess. Is this for me?"

You nodded, panting softly as his thumb followed the same path again, a little harder on the flick, making you buck your hips a little. You moaned, "All for you, baby." You breathed, letting your head fall back as he rubbed tight circles against you.

You felt his lips on the inside of your knee, once, twice, then a third time and before you could moan at the feeling of his thumb on your clit again, it was replaced by his mouth and you knew immediately, it wouldn't be long before he had you coming undone.

Your hand flew to his hair, pulling the strands through your fingers as you tried to move your hips to grind against his mouth. "Fuck, baby. That feels so good." You moaned.

He smiled against you as he doubled down, splaying one of his hands across your pelvis to stop you from moving, before teasingly prodding your hole with one of his fingers.

"D-don't tease me, Binnie, please?" You shook your head softly, squeezing your eyes shut as he kept up his assault on your clit.

He hummed, pulling away just enough to fully look at your face as he slid his finger in completely and watching your face contort in pleasure. "But you make the prettiest sound when you beg for me, princess. How could I not tease you?" His voice was low, lower than you ever thought you'd heard it, before he pressed a kiss to your swollen bulb. "Eyes on me, princess, I want you to see how much I enjoy tasting you."

You arched your back as his lips wrapped back around your clit and he added another finger, curling them just so to have you moaning louder as you pulled at his hair. "Ugh, Bin, more, please?" You picked your head up to look him in the eyes, and what a sight that was, "Fuck, baby that feels so good, but I need more."

He hummed against you, "What do you want, princess?"

"Make me cum. Make me cum and then fuck me until I cum again, Binnie. Please!" You cried, tears in the corners of your eyes as you quickly neared the edge of your orgasm.

Your words stoked the fire that was already in him, and his eyes darkened. "You wanna cum?"

"Yes, please! Make me cum, baby."

He nodded, his fingers moving quicker along your walls as you tightened around them. "I'll make you cum, princess, don't worry." He growled, his lips around your clit with renewed vigor, tongue lapping at the juices that were flowing from you.

The sounds echoing through your room were lewd. You were wet, wetter than you could ever remember being and your moans were pornographic as you teetered on the edge, your thighs shaking as you met his half lidded eyes.

"Bin," you warned, "Fuuck, I'm- I'm gonna cum."

He moved his hand, no longer holding you down and instead took your fingers between his and hummed against you again, "Cum for me, baby. Cum on my tongue."

You threw your head back for the final time, feeling grounded, in a way, with his finger in yours as you came. Your eyes were in the back of your head and Changbin didn't let up in his movements until he knew you were finally coming down from your high.

Your hand felt limp in his as you tried to catch your breath, gazing down your own body at the face of your boyfriend as he lifted his cum slick fingers to his lips and kept eye contact with you as he licked them clean of your essence.

Without another word, you shot up, grabbing his shoulder and flipping the both of you so he was on his back, and you were straddling his hips, hands on his shoulders before your eyes briefly caught the time on your clock.

12:32 a.m.

"Happy anniversary, baby." You smiled, leaning down to kiss him gently.

He hummed against your lips, "Happy anniversary, Jagi."

"So, how are you going to fuck me, Binnie?"

His hands found purchase on your hips as you slowly ground against his painfully hard dick. "Whatever way you want, princess."

You grinned, somewhat evilly, before kissing him again, your hands finding the band of his jeans and then quickly popping the button. "Do you want a condom?" You asked, leaning away from him a little.

He looked up at you, slightly confused before he remembered that you had an iud and grinned widely, "Do you?"

"We're both clean," You smiled, tangling your fingers into the back of his hair before you leaned down close to his ear and whispered, "I want you to fuck me full of your cum."

He growled deeply, his hands moving to squeeze under your ass as he flipped you back over. "Don't move." He pointed at you after he stood up, reaching to pull his pants down.

You sat in the middle of your bed, watching as Changbin made quick work of both his jeans and his boxers, finally leaving the both of you bare. You openly ogled him, looking at him from head to toe as he stalked near you again. "Baby, you're so fucking hot." You gushed, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as he leaned over you again.

He pressed a kiss to your lips, taking your bottom one between his teeth as he pulled away, "You're one to talk." He laid you back, trailing kissing down your neck again, "You want me to fuck you full of my cum, huh?" You nodded slowly, knowing he couldn't see your face. "I'll do it, baby. But I want you to keep it in. Do you understand?" He grabbed your jaw, not roughly but enough to make sure your eyes were on his. "I don't want you wasting a single drop. Got it?"

"I won't waste any, baby." You whimpered before he crashed his lips to yours and you felt him line himself up at your entrance.

He kept kissing you as he slowly pushed in, inch by glorious inch until he was bottomed out and you were already gasping for air, moaning against his lips.

He dropped his forehead to your shoulder, "Oh shit, princess. You're so warm, baby. You feel so good." He gently kissed the skin by his lips.

Your hands were moving, holding his arm, around his neck, the sheets below you, anywhere you could grab, "Move. Do something, Bin, please."

Your plead was all he needed to pull out almost completely before pushing back in just as slowly, groaning at the feeling of you wrapped around him completely.

You moaned, wrapping your legs around his waist in an attempt to pull him closer as he thrusted in and out of you and kissed along your collarbone. "It feels so good, baby. Just like that."

He groaned against your neck, biting down hard enough to make you clench around him, digging your nails into his shoulders, "You feel so fucking good, baby. Taking me so well, like you were made for me. Fuck."

He accented his words by trailing his hand down your body, his fingers making contact with your clit again, making you arch your back off the bed, pressing tightly against his chest. "D-don't stop." You whined, raking your nails down his back.

"I'm not stopping until you beg me to, baby." He growled, leaning back and pulling your legs from his waist and basically folding you in half, "Not when you sound this good, feel this good. Fuck, do you feel good." He brought one of your legs up to his shoulder, kissing along your calf and listened to you cry out when the angle made him hit deeper.

"Oh, shit! Yes, just like that!" You panted, "Just like that."

You clenched around him, the feeling of how deep he was, how he was hitting every spot inside you perfectly and the constant rhythm of him rubbing at your clit was sending you speeding towards another orgasm.

Hearing the sounds he was making above you were heaven to your ears- hearing him let out deep, guttural moans and groans as he pounded into you, only turned you on more and it felt like your skin was on fire.

He wrapped his arm around your thigh of the leg he had on his shoulder, keeping your legs spread as his hips rocketed into yours with such a lewd and loud smacking sound. Your knuckles turned white from how hard you were gripping the sheets as your back arched from the bed. "I-m gonna cum." You whimpered, moaning loudly as you clenched tightly around him.

He groaned, his fingers tightening around your thigh and on your hip. "You've been so good, baby, cum for me again."

You threw your head back, keeping your back arched in pleasure as your body started convulsing as you came, almost screaming Changbin's name.

He kept his brutally delicious pace and it felt like that only made you cum harder. His hips never stopped, even as he faltered slightly, stuttering as you clenched around him again, milking him for everything he had.

"Fuck!" He moaned, spilling inside you and painting your walls with his warm seed as he rocked into you until he came down from his high.

He slowly pulled out, and you moaned as he did, feeling suddenly empty as he dropped to his back beside you, panting.

You turned your head to look at him, staring at his side profile as little beads of sweat dropped from his hair to the bed, before he turned and met your eyes.

Quickly, he leaned over and connected his lips to yours in a chaste kiss before you felt his hand on the inside of your thigh.

You shivered at the contact, shaking your head, "Baby, I can't." You whined, your eyes pleading with him in your overstimulated state. "It's too much."

He smirked, his hand cupping your sex gently, pushing the leaking mess of your combined cums back inside you. "I told you, princess, don't waste a single drop." He growled, listening to you moan softly, your hips jerking as his finger made contact with your swollen clit.

You wrapped your fingers around his wrist, gasping at the feeling of him touching you again, grinding your hips into his hand. "But I didn't." You protested between pants.

Changbin leaned over, kissing along your neck as his fingers moved along your core. "And you won't. Even if that means that I have to fuck it back into you."

You moaned loudly, whimpering as he grazed his teeth along your shoulder. "Binnie," you panted, eyes screwed shut as a familiar pressure kept quickly building in your stomach. "Don't stop."

The bed jostled a little bit as he moved to lean over you again, and before you could whine about him doing exactly what you had just asked him not to, you gasped as he easily flipped you into your stomach, pulling your hips back to meet his as he slid back in you.

"Oh fuck, baby." You cried, clenching tightly around him. "How are you ready to go again?"

"Do you have any idea how many times you make me hard on a daily basis?" He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth as he looked down at you, trailing his hand from your ass, down your back slowly. "You're so fucking beautiful, baby." He pulled out slowly, then thrust back in quickly and stopped, his pelvis against yours. "So fucking perfect for me." Out and then back in again, like he was punctuating each compliment.  "Fuck, I love you." He moaned, filling just setting another fast pace as he pulled your back up against his chest.

You gasped, reaching back and grabbed the back of his neck, keeping his head next to yours as you both moaned. You turned your head, slotting your lips roughly against his in a messy kiss- panting into each other's mouths.

It was more intense this time, the two orgasms he'd already given you, had made you incredibly sensitive but it felt so good as his cock dragged along your walls, each thrust pushing you closer and closer to a third orgasm.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! Changbin!" Your voice an octave higher as you moaned, feeling the tension snap all of a sudden, cumming on his cock without any warning.

Your sudden orgasm threw him headlong into a second orgasm too and his hips came to a stuttering halt this time from how hard you had clamped down on him. Your nails on dug into his forearm, wrapped around your waist, but he couldn't even feel the pain as you both slowly came down from your highs this time.

If it hadn't been for his arm around you, you wouldn't collapsed right there into the bed. But, ever the gentlemen that he is, Changbin gently laid you down, staying leaned over you for another moment as he peppered your shoulders with gentle kisses while you tried to catch your breaths again.

"I thought it was too much?"

You could hear the damn smirk in his voice, without even looking back at him. "I'm going to be so sore in the morning." You croaked, nudging him a little to get him off you.

When he did move, he pulled out at the same time, making you wince a little at the feeling this time. If you were sensitive before, you're thoroughly fucked now. Well, yeah. That was the point.

Changbin watched your face scrunch up as he got off of you. "Sorry, Jagi." He muttered, looking over at you, a slight flush on his cheeks.

You turned your head and just smiled sleepily at him, before leaning over and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "Don't be. That was amazing." You mumbled against his lips before pulling back. "I'm gonna go shower though now. Wanna join me?"

He chuckled, watching you get up on slightly wobbly legs. "Yeah. We can eat when we get out."

You made a face, "I forgot you brought food home." You admitted softly, heading for the bathroom.

He laughed, "I'm not surprised, you were pretty set on something else."

You rolled your eyes as you leaned to turn the shower on. "Hey, I'm not the one who was sending shirtless gym pictures this morning." You turned and looked back at him over your shoulder, seeing him leaning in the doorway with his arms crossed. "You can't blame me for wanting to jump you."

He let out a loud laugh, coming over and wrapping his arms around you, pressing your back into his chest. "You can jump me whenever you want to, Jagi."

You kissed him, smiling against his lips. "Be careful, I just might."