#and some ladies i know a few of my m/wlws would like

[one-winged-dreams]

I made it up to 5 hearts with Hayden (and Henrietta) OTL

I'm gonna put the game down for now so I don't get burnout but I started playing Ash Echoes so I might pick that up for the rest of the night

[amtrak12]

❤️🧡🤍🩷💜A WLW ASK MEME❤️🧡🤍🩷💜 List the top 10 ladies you’ve been obsessed with Ever Of All Time! Then send this on to 5 sapphic mutuals 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

Yes, fun! :D Thank you!!

Okay, I went fictional characters with this because I just don't really get obsessed with RL people outside of like a 5 year period between 2005-2010 where I followed select actors around to other shows. Also, there's only three ladies who I can confirm fit both 'obsessed' and 'ever of all time', so I've trudged through my entire childhood for every fictional lady who's helped shape my personality to round out the list.

In Chronological Order (to me not by air date):

Margaret Houlihan (M*A*S*H) -- Oh MASH reruns on the Hallmark channel, my beloved 💚 Now, I'm primarily talking about the juicy middle seasons after Potter took over command and Loretta Swit was able to wrestle some better storylines for Margaret, but there's some gems in the early years too. I've been drawn back to MASH three times as an adult and each time I get sucked deeper and deeper into both the real life history of the Korean War and the fictional character of Margaret. Do I have a thousand and one headcanons for how she handles life after the war? Yes. Am I obsessed with whatever platonic/sexual relationship she's got going on with Hawkeye? Yes. Have I plotted out what her D&D character might look like? YEP! She's a paladin :P I also believe if you examined her character through a queer lens, you'd find a trans man rather than a queer woman, but your mileage may vary.

AndrAIa (ReBoot) -- Yeah, yeah, yeah it's a cartoon, but bb 11 year old me was absolutely OBSESSED with this show, and AndrAIa was a big part of that. Look at her little capital AI in her name! 😭 25 years before corporate greed ruined the acronym, that AI was adorable!! And very clever given that she was an NPC game sprite who decided to leave her game and live as a real sprite. Her whole existence and vibe was very formative for me. I love her.

Harley Davidson Cooper (Guiding Light) -- Yes, her full name is absolutely necessary, even if no one ever used it. So, I was SUUUCH a CBS soap girlie back around 2000-2002, and I've been very nostalgic for it in the last few years. As the World Turns was my primary soap, so I figured one of my regular blorbos like Rose or Katie or Romana would be the one I miss most. But then Harley's actress Beth Ehlers popped up during my Law & Order SVU watch and I LOST MY MIND!!!!! Her face and voice instantly filled my soul with joy! So Harley gets the trophy. Even if she didn't have any stand out storylines during that era (apart from her and Gus being Very Hot), she was always my favorite character from GL.

Piper Halliwell (Charmed, original flavor) -- Technically, I had Turtle Wexler from the book The Westing Game on this list instead because I didn't remember Piper until after I'd drafted all ten slots :S But listen! That's because health problems have made my memory shitty! It is not because Piper doesn't stand up to the test of time! Ugh, I remember the show never treated Piper like she was the fan favorite and I hadn't discovered online TV forums yet so I felt so alone in my love for her :( But being on lesbian millennial Tumblr makes 14 year old me feel SO validated, because Piper is the only Halliwell sister anyone ever talks about on my dash. 💜 Congrats everyone. We were right all along.

Lorelai Gilmore (Gilmore Girls) -- Yeeeaaah.. we've hit the Big Three that I alluded to earlier. I was very, very gay for Lorelai (and Lauren Graham) in the latter half of my high school years, and I did not realize that until way later. She taught me how to be quicker with the comebacks and, more importantly, to marry someone who could cook instead of learning how to feed yourself. And I really took that to heart. My spouse is a fantastic cook! :) (Don't get scared for me guys! I do actually know how to cook three (3) entire meals now that I'm in my 30s :P lol)

Rose Tyler/Billie Piper (Doctor Who) -- I will list the actress here, because my love for Rose Tyler is probably split 50/50 between the character herself, and Billie Piper's charisma and hotness. She's gorgeous!!! 😍 That seemingly common question in the mid-2000s of 'Who would you kiss if you were gay?' always left me stumped until New Who aired in the states. Then, I was finally able to answer 'Billie Piper' and actually mean it. Because that's what you were supposed to do with that question, right? Take it seriously and not treat it like hyperbole? #totallystraightbehavior #swearsies Alas, it would take me two more girl crushes and interacting with genuine queer women in a femslash fandom before I recognized my feelings for what they were. But Rose was still a very significant step forward!

Myka Bering (Warehouse 13) -- MY GIRL!!! My Lady of all Ladies. I would die for her. I would kill for her. I would kneel and raise my sword and swear fealty to her. MYKA FUCKING BERING, EVERYONE! 👏👏👏👏 Watching her fall in love with Helena made me realize all my girl crushes were real crushes and that I was bi. Bless her. Bless Joanne Kelly. And bless the incomparable Bering and Wells fandom. *kisses everyone on the mouth, sloppy style*

Erin Gilbert (Ghostbusters 2016) -- Look, I know that I can never get away with pretending that Erin isn't my favorite ghostbuster, but I do usually think about her in the context of her relationships! Like 8 times out of 10, when I'm headcanoning, I'm thinking about her and Abby's relationship. And if I'm not, there's a not-so-small chance I'm thinking about her relationship with Patty instead. (RIP to Holtzy who I virtually never think about outside of the foursome. Her fanbase just ruined it for me :S) But um... yeah, Erin's my favorite. I even have Pokemon parties picked out for them all. And their daemons.

Eve (Lucifer) -- Okay so I know it hasn't even been a full high school (aka 4 years) since I met Eve, so I can't really say she's someone I'll stay obsessed with forever and ever and ever. You probably don't even believe I'm obsessed with her at all given the bulk of my Lucifer talk is about Lucifer/Chloe -- but that's just cause that's where the storyline is! Trust me, Eve is my favorite character, even if she was in the least amount of episodes (RIP me). When she pops up in the background of a Deckerstar fanvid, I'm instantly distracted and have to marathon every Maze/Eve vid in my collection. I decided to use a fandom name in the first time, like, ever, when creating my Lucifer-specific Twitter account and I made it Eve themed. She's my favorite, bestest girl who can do no wrong and -- YES! -- that does include accidentally-definitely-on-purpose starting a demon mutiny that led to newborn Charlie's kidnapping. She had never been dumped before okay? First woman to ever exist and she'd never been dumped. Did you handle your first break-up well? No! I didn't think so :P

Alex Cabot (Law & Order: SVU) -- I've only know Cabot for four months, but if anything happens to her, I'll kill everyone in this room and then myself -- OH WAIT! She already left me. 😭 I am in S17 now, which is like ten seasons past when she went into witness protection and barely ever came back, yet there's not an episode that goes by where I don't think about her. So, I say that counts as longevity and am sticking her on the list. This woman has Issues. Plural. Period. She makes me say shit like 'I want to dig into her brain with a fork' and it's actually an accurate metaphor for what I feel. I love her your honor... now who can I sue for emotional damages?

[asroarke]

asroarke’s 2020 book recs

Ordinarily, I make an end of the year fic recs list, but I can count on one hand the number of new fanfictions I’ve read this year (new ones... you all know I reread my old favorites constantly). I have, however, read new books. So instead of a fic rec list, 2020 brings a book rec list. Huzzah!

1. A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik Hands down the best book I read all year. It takes place in Scholomance, a school for magically gifted (think Hogwarts but without the authority figures and less concern about one super evil wizard and more concern about all the casual little monsters waiting around to eat you). El Higgins is an incredible protagonist with a gift for the more lethal arts. She honestly spends most of her time trying not to hurt other people with her badass strength and then begrudgingly saves everyone around her. For lovers of dark academia, this book is a must.

2. Plain Bad Heroines by Emily M. Danforth Alright, let’s get gay. This book has everything. Historical wlw, modern setting wlw, polyamorous wlw, ghosts, a book within the book all about ladies loving ladies, bees, bisexual rep, and a very gay three-way happening in a haunted forest. The story goes back and forth between the events that followed the death of two young lovers from an all girl boarding school called Brookhaunts and what happens on the set of the 2020 film being made about all the deaths that happened a hundred years before at that same boarding school. And with all the crazy things that happen in this thriller, the least realistic thing is that half this story is happening in 2020 and there’s no COVID-19 angst. Ladies, read this and then join me in my Plain Bad Heroines club.

3. Catherine House by Elisabeth Thomas Okay, clearly 2020 had a dark academia theme for me. This book is short, but don’t let it fool you. There’s a lot packed into those pages. Catherine House is a alternative to college that has housed some of the most prestigious individuals in history. All they ask in return is a few years of your life being spent there. Ines comes to Catherine House with a dark past and an eagerness to find a home there. Slowly but surely, she starts to unravel the dark secrets the school has kept hidden away. Fair warning, the ending isn’t exactly happy. The story is haunting from beginning to end.

4. Of Thorns and Beauty by Elle Madison and Robin D. Mahle Did not go into this one thinking I would like it. But my God, it’s addicting once you get past the first few chapters. It’s a retelling of Beauty and the Beast, but that seems like such a stretch to say. There are elements of the classic tale, but with dark, heart-breaking twists. Arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, betrayal, and a cliffhanger that will have you screaming for the sequel.

5. Aurora Burning by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff This is the sequel to Aurora Rising, and it’s a LOT. I won’t go too into the plot since I don’t want to spoil the first book in the series, but The Aurora Cycle series is just fantastic. Squad 312 is the found family we all want to read. It’s sci-fi, which isn’t typically my thing, but the characters are so endearing and wild that I couldn’t stop myself from binging these two books. The end had me screaming. If you don’t like cliffhangers, this is definitely not the book for you. But anyone else who wants to suffer with me should absolutely dive in head first.

Did I miss any other incredible books of 2020? Let me know what your faves were from this year!

[ladyonfire28]

My French music Masterpost

So since half of the population is in quarantine right now I thought I could make a list of some french/ french speaking artists and songs that I listen to and that you could also discover since we all have time to kill. 

Obviously I cannot put every single artist and song I  know and listen to so it’ll be a bit of mix of my favorite albums/ artists of the past few years but also what i’m listening at the moment ! 

Pop/ R&B

Angèle 

She’s a 23 year old Belgian singer. Her first album was a HUGE hit last year and she got 5 news songs out in November too. She’s also been dating a woman for a few months.

I would recommend to listen to her whole album Brol , it’s quite a bop. Also there are two songs about wlw relationship called « Ta Reine » and « Tu me regardes ». That last song was a kind of coming out song btw, we were all freaking out when we listened to it the first time lmao.

Favorite songs: Les matins, Flemme, Flou, Nombreux, Ta reine, Tu me regardes, J’entends

Clara Luciani

She’s a 27 year old French artist. 2019 was truly her year. She’s has an incredible voice and I just love her energy. She’s an amazing songwriter too. Her first album is called Sainte Victoire.

Favorite songs: La grenade, Les fleurs, On ne meurt pas d’amour, Drôle d’époque, Nue, Dors, Ma Soeur, Bovary.

Christine and the Queens

I think a lot of you know her already. She’s also a queer and pansexual artist. I have to say I really LOVED her first album Chaleur Humaine, one of the best albums of the past decade, but I didn’t love as much her second album (Chris) or her new EP (La vita nuova). I mean they’re good, but her first album was really something else. And it’s also just my opinion !

Favorite songs : iT (it’s in English though), Saint Claude, Science Fiction, Half Ladies, Paradis Perdus, Chaleur Humaine, Nuit 17 à 52, Intranquilité, Amazoniaque, Jonathan, La marcheuse, L’étranger

Therapie TAXI

This is a pretty fun band, their first album has been quite popular. They’re pretty unique and sometimes their songs and lyrics are let’s say... bold lmao. I haven’t listen to all their songs though, there’s like 25 songs in their first album and 15 in their second aha. But they also have so many bops. 

Favorite songs: Hit Sale, J’en ai marre, Salop(e), Avec ta zouz

Aya Nakamura

Aya is now a r&b/pop superstar here in France and even in other countries in Europe. She’s 25 and you can hear her songs in every night club and party here. Can’t say her lyrics are very elaborated but her songs are real bops and the best to dance to in your room lmao

Favorite songs: Djadja, La dot, Pompom, Copines, Pookie, Sucette, 40%, Comportement

Lous and the Yakuza

She’s a 23 year old belgian artist. She only has 3 songs out for now, but i’ve been pretty obsessed with them. Her lyrics are pretty great too (and she’s SO beautiful omg). 

Favorite songs : Dilemme, Tout est gore, Solo

Yseult

Yseult is a 24 year old french singer/songwriter. She’s has a beautiful voice and the beats are also great. I haven’t listened to all her songs though, I only heard her new EP Noir which is great.

Favorite songs: Corps, Nos souvenirs, Noir, 5H

Indie/electro rock/folk :

Pomme

Pomme is very famous in the LGBTQ community in France, but i haven’t listened much to her songs (yet). She’s a 24 year old french and lesbian singer songwriter. Her songs talk about love, anxiety, and even death. She has a such beautiful voice too.

Favorite songs: On brûlera, A peu près, Anxiété, Je sais pas danser

The Dø

The Dø are a finnish/french duo and also one of my favorite band (they sing in english though). They made of of my favorite albums of the last decade, Shake Shook Shaken, which came out in 2014. Their first albums sounded more folk/indie rock, but their third album is much more electro. And the album is about the break up of the lead singer, Olivia Merilahti, and the musician, Dan Levy. One of my favorite song of all time is in their second album Both Ways Open Jaws and is called Too Insistent.

Favorite songs: On my shoulders, Too Insistent, Sparks, Despair Hangover & Ecstasy, Opposite Ways, Anita No!, Nature Will Remain.

Izia

Izia is a singer but also an actress, you may know her from La Belle Saison, Samba, or Un peuple et son roi. I listened a lot to her third album La vague, that was released in 2015. it’s much more electro that what she used to do before. Her two first albums were much more rock albums. She’s got a new album out but i haven’t listen to it yet.

Favorite songs: Hey, La vague, You, Les ennuis, Bridges, Tomber

Mansfield.YTA

The band is composed of 2 women, Julia Lanoë et Carla Pallone. Julia is in other bands/ projects such as Sexy Sushi and Kompromat. Unlike those two last bands that are very electro, Mansfield is something more nuanced. It sounds more like indie folk and mixes different style. You can hear electric instruments but also violin, harmonium, piano etc. And it’s pretty melodramatic.  They sing in french and english.

Favorite songs: Et demain déja, Pour oublier je dors, Mon amoureuse, Gilbert De Clerc

Electro :

Stromae

You might have heard of that Belgian guy. His album Racine Carré (released in 2013) is too me the best of the decade and his song “Papaoutai” was a huge hit in Europe. He’s a pure genius. His lyrics are super deep and usually quite dark but he makes incredible beats that are very electro. If his second album is definitely his most popular album, his first one Cheese, was also so so great and his first single “Alors on Danse” was a huge hit (Kanye West did a remix of it). He also directed Billie Eilish’s “Hostage” music video. That dude is just incredible. But after his huge success his did a burn out and his mental health got very bad. He stopped making music since then. 

Favorite songs: Peace or Violence, Alors on danse, Dodo, Je Cours, House’llelujah, papaoutai, bâtard, ave cesaria, tous les mêmes, formidable humain à l’eau, sommeil

Rap :

I have to say i’ve been listening to a lot of french rap this past couple of years so i won’t list all the rappers i listen to, especially since i’m pretty sure most of you aren’t interested in rap. But I still have to list some of them that have been very popular recently. France has a huge and very diverse rap culture.

Fauve

Actually that collective is actually not a rap band at all. They do more like spoken word songs but didn’t where also to put them lol. The band broke up 5 years but I still listen to them a lot today. It’s one of my fav band too. Their lyrics are really well written and beautiful. It usually talks about the “youth malaise” and their frustrations, heartbreaks and anger etc. They made 1 EP et 2 LP. 

Favorite songs: Blizzard, Cock Music Smart Music, Nuits Fauves, Haut les Coeurs, Rub a Dub, Voyous, Infirmière, Vieux frères, Lettre à Zoé, Paraffine, Tallulah, T.R.W, Les Hautes Lumières 

Meryl

Meryl is a 24 year old french martinican rapper. Before making her own music she used to write and compose melodies for other famous french rappers. She’s very influenced by her roots and and she also sings some of her songs in creole. I love how different and diverse her music is. 

Favorite songs: Coucou, AH LALA, Béni, Désolé, La brume

Aloïse Sauvage 

Aloïse is a multi talented french singer/ actress/ dancer. She released her first EP in 2019 called Jimy and her very first album Dévorantes was released in February 2020. She’s definitely a queer artist (99% sure she’s lesbian but she’s never confirmed it so anyway + her little sister is 100% a lesbian aha) and she talks about lgbtq issues in some of her songs, but also about her own issues and all. Her lyrics are beautifully written. And she’s also a ray of sunshine so there’s nothing to dislike about her haha. 

Favorite songs: Dévorantes, Si on s’aime, A l’horizontale, Et cette tristesse, Jimy, Présentement, L’orage

Roméo Elvis

Roméo isn’t french but belgian. He’s the big brother of Angèle. I actually knew about her because of him. He’s less known than her now obviously but he’s still quite popular. His rap is pretty soft and chill. I preferred his collaborations with Le Motel (who was his producer) more than his “solo” album but he still got some good songs on his last album.

Favorite songs: Morale, Nappeux, Drôle de question, Bébé aime la drogue, J’ai vu (feat. Angèle), Lenita, Chocolat, Normal, Dis-moi 

Lomepal

Lomepal is a french rapper. He’s known for writing songs that are pretty elaborated with chill and melodic beats. I also call is rap “soft”. He usually talks about his loneliness and insecurities

Favorite songs: 70, Yeux disent, Club, Trop beaux, 1000°C, X-Men, Plus de larmes

PNL

PNL is the most popular cloud rap band of the past few of years. They’re two brothers NOS and Ademo and they’re famous for using vocoder when they rap. Like a lot of vocoder lol. But they’re also very known for working with some of the best beat makers in the industry. If the way they rap is sometimes pretty hard, their beats are very chill and cool. In their songs they talk a lot of their life as dealers in the french banlieue, their struggles, how tough their lives were but also how their lives today isn’t set and how they’re not necessarily happier today. Their third album “Dans la légende” was a huuuuge hit in France, and their latest album “Deux frères” just as much if not more. 

Favorite songs: Recherche du bonheur, DA, Dans la légende, Luz de Luna, Humain, Bené, Jusqu’au dernier gramme, Blanka, A l’ammoniaque, Shenmue, Menace, Déconnecté, La misère est si belle

Other songs that I listen to at the moment : 

“Le temps est bon” - Bon Entendeur (electro)

“De mon âme à ton âme” - Kompromat (electro)

“Reste” - Maitre Gims feat Sting (pop)

“Les méchants” - Heuss l’enfoiré (rap)

“C’est plus l’heure” - Franglish feat Dadju, Vegeta (r&b)

“De l’autre côté”-  Ninho feat Nekfeu (rap)

“Blanche” - Maes (rap)

“La complainte du soleil” - Laura Cahen (from I Lost My Body OST)

Some french speaking “classic” songs that  I listen to and that you probably don’t know (from the 50′s to 00′s) :

“Une valse à mille temps” - Jacques Brel

“La foule” - Edith Piaf 

“Chanson pour l’auvergnat” - Georges Brassens 

“Je t’aimais, je t’aime et je t’aimerai” - Francis Cabrel 

“Ma préférence” - Julien Clerc

“La nuit je mens” - Alain Bashung 

“Foule sentimentale” - Alain Souchon

“Mistral gagnant” - Renaud 

“Sensualité” - Axelle Red

“Manhattan Kaboul” - Renaud feat. Axelle Red

“Onde sensuelle” - M 

“Et dans 150 ans” - Raphaël 

“A la faveur de l’automne” - Tété

“L’aventurier” - Indochine 

French LGBTQ+ artists 

This past few years a few lgbtq artists have blown up here and like 4 lesbian artists have been nominated for best new artist this year at the french grammy award called Victoire de la musique (and one of them one the award, Pomme). Unfortunately i’m not very good at discovering new artists so i’m quite late and i haven’t been able to listen to a lot of them. But if you want to discover them yourself here are few lgbtq artists: 

Already mentioned: Angèle, Pomme, Julia Lanoë/ Rebekka Warrior (Sexy Sushi, Kompromat, Mansfield.YTA), Christine and the Queens, Aloïse Sauvage

More : Hoshi,  Suzane, Eddy de Pretto, Safia Nolin (she’s from Quebec)

[atleasttheresthis]

Good Ideas and Night Befores-ATLA WLW week day one (Katara x Song)

First day of ATLA WLW week! Woo!

Day one: fluff or canon world (could be both though)

this takes place after the war, in my head Song and her mother moved to the Fire Nation after the war because Song’s mother is a trader and she guessed (correctly) that the Fire Nation would have a lot of business after they lost the resources after giving back the colonies

tagging @atla-wlw-week

content warning: alcohol

***

Mai and Song find their respective husband and girlfriend on the roof of the Fire Lord's palace, of all places. Fire Lord Zuko and Lady Katara, Ambassador of the Southern Water Tribe, easily the two most important people in the Fire Nation's government, potentially the whole world, are stone drunk. Gigglingly, stupidly, stone drunk, Song observes with fondness. The two are sprawled out under the darkening sky, and Song can count two empty bottles of rice wine from her position by the trapdoor she's just climbed out of.

She and Mai smile knowingly at each other, then Mai whistles. "Oi!" Song shouts. "Loserlord and Ambassador! What do you think you're doing here?"

"Mai!" Zuko garbles, staggering to his feet so unsteadily Song is worried he's going to fall clean off the roof. Katara, still lying down, grabs him, hand wrapping around his calf. "'M fine, Katara, I'm fine--Mai--" he runs over to his wife, gathers her up in his arms. "Hi."

"Hi, Zuko," she says, long-suffering over his shoulder. "I missed you," he mumbles into her neck. 

"You saw me this morning," Mai says, but Song barely catches it, she leaves the Fire Lord and Lady where they are and walks over to Katara. Nudging her head playfully with her foot, Song asks "Why don't you miss me like that?"

"Stop, hey Song, stop, you're getting dirt in my hair!" Katara complains, then reaches up for Song's hand and tugs her down next to her.

"Hi Katara, I've missed you so much," Song says, pouting at Katara.

"Hi, sweetheart," Katara says, rolling her eyes and leaning over to give Song a kiss. Song catches Katara's lips and deepens the kiss, licking sweet into her mouth. Katara responds enthusiastically, and when they finally come up for air, Song wrinkles her nose. Katara's breath tastes awful. "I think you've had enough to drink," she says sitting up and spying another empty bottle of rice wine.

"We've been made," Katara calls to Zuko. Turning around, Mai spots the three empty bottles in Song's hands. Walking over, she picks up two more that are unopened and unceremoniously yanks a half-empty one from Katara's grip.

"You guys have the second day of the trade conference tomorrow," she reminds them.

"Can't you let us make one bad decision?" Zuko whines, trailing after Mai. "We've been so, so good," Katara adds, sticking out a foot to trip Zuko. He avoids her foot but trips over his own robe anyway. With a light push, Mai sends him gently to the ground, settling herself down next to him.

"Uh-uh," Song shakes her head. Mai takes a swig from the open bottle before passing it to Song. "No fair!" Katara says, accusatory.

"We don't have a trade meeting in the morning," Mai says, and Song wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. "Besides, we're not the ones who are already drunk."

"Why aren't you at this meeting?" Zuko asks, turning to Song. "You would be so helpful." 

Song shrugs. "My mom's the only one who does the trade business, I just work in the hospital."

"You should still come," Katara says, but Song shakes her head. "There's a new shipment from the front at the hospital," she explains quietly. "I can't leave my shift tomorrow."

The four of them sit quietly for a while, contemplating the aftermath of the war, and the work it's left them. Well, maybe Song and Mai are the only ones contemplating it. Katara has sat herself upright to start braiding Zuko's hair. "How was the first day of the meeting?" Song asks eventually.

As one, Katara and Zuko roll their eyes. "Ugh," Katara starts vehemently. "There's this guy from the Earth Kingdom,"

"Prince Asswipe," Zuko says seriously, and Mai chokes on the wine.

"Prince Asswipe, yeah," Katara continues, "And he's just, like, sitting on all this grain that you guys need,"

"That we need," Zuko echoes.

"Yes, thank you, Zuko," Katara says crossly. "That you guys need, and he just, won't give it to you guys? Cause he sucks."

"Because of Ozai?" Song says, amused.

"Because he sucks," Zuko and Katara say as one.

Song starts to speak, but Mai interrupts her. "Did you guys name him Prince Asswipe or is he called that all by himself?"

"No, he's really a prince," Zuko explains with a sigh. "A minor ruler from the continent, actually not too far from where I ran into you," he says, nodding at Song.

"Wait, what's his real name?" Song asks, intrigued. "Liang Xin," Katara answers. "We need to find some way to get him to help out the Fire Nation."

"Hm," Song hums, thinking to herself. "I had a friend who lived in his province, it was really only a town over, not too far away," she muses. "I think they were talking about industrializing… right before my mother and I left, they had discovered a huge source of iron ore in the mountains, but it's so remote that not enough Earthbenders are there, so they want to use mines. Except they don't know how," she finishes, looking meaningfully at Zuko.

He stares back uncomprehendingly. "What?" 

"Yeah, what?" Katara says, looking at Song in confusion. Mai rolls her eyes.

"They don't know how to use mines," Song emphasizes again. "You know how to use mines."

Katara gasps. "Zuko, she's right!" she slaps him on the arm. "You do know how to use mines!"

"Oh," Zuko says, shaking himself. "Yeah, okay, we can show them how to use mines." He nods to himself. "Great idea, Song, thank you."

"I'll be sure to write that down for him," Mai says, getting to her feet and pulling her husband up alongside her. "Come on, bedtime."

"Okay," Zuko says easily, letting her haul him to his feet. "Goodnight, Katara, Song," he says, starting to follow Mai off the roof before stopping in his tracks and turning back around. "Hold on, I wanted to tell you something," he says, grimacing.

"They already know you love them!" Mai calls from behind him.

"Not that," Zuko says, waving a hand. "Something actually important. Oh!" His gaze sharpens on Katara. "Did you tell anyone about the oil Sokka discovered in the Southern Water Tribe?"

Katara shakes her head. "Good, don't," Zuko instructs. "Why shouldn't I?" Katara wonders aloud.

"There are too many people from the old regime I haven't managed to edge out yet, and they wouldn't say no to plundering the South again for the oil to run their factories. Plus, it's too good a bargaining chip."

"Save it for when we really need it," Katara agrees. "Yeah, okay, I'll keep quiet."

"Thank you," Zuko says, clearly relieved, before turning around again. "Goodnight, guys."

"Goodnight Zuko," Katara and Song say together, and Song waves at Mai before the two disappear down the trapdoor.

Song gives Katara a shake. "Come on, you should be in bed, too."

"In a few minutes," Katara says, lying down and rolling onto her side. "The moon is going to rise soon, I can feel it, let's just wait until then."

"Okay," Song acquiesces, never able to tell Katara no. She lies down beside her, keeps her eyes on the sky above them. She can feel Katara looking at her, though, and after a moment she asks "What?"

Katara reaches over and takes her hand. "You're just really beautiful, that's all," and it's said in such earnest that Song can't help herself; she leans over and kisses Katara again, wine soaked breath and all.

They're still kissing as the moon rises, and it must be full because Katara jolts against Song's lips. "Ah!" she hums, hand clenching Song's tight for a moment before relaxing again. Song kisses Katara one last time before pulling back to admire her by moonlight. Katara's got her eyes closed, pulling in short breaths as she grows accustomed to the power the moon gives her. When Song lets out a breath of her own, Katara cracks an eye open.

"What?"

"You're just really beautiful," Song mimics, and Katara rolls her eyes before giving Song a quick kiss. She then bends the remaining wine out of the bottle, shaping it in a series of intricate ribbons and loops that freeze and thaw at her will. Then she splits the liquid in two, sends one bubble floating lazily toward Song who opens her mouth to swallow it whole, licking her lips afterwards. Katara grins, finishes the rest of wine, then stands up. 

Song flicks her on the knee. "I thought we cut you off."

"I earned it. Come on, let's go to bed," she says, eyes twinkling.

Song gets to her feet, laces her fingers through Katara's. The world is mending itself, coming together again, and she feels good. "Let's go to bed," she agrees, and walks with Katara off the roof.

[mediaevalmusereads]

The Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics. By Olivia Waite. New York: Avon Impulse, 2019.

Rating: 2.5/5 stars

Genre: historical romance, wlw romance

Part of a Series? Yes, Feminine Pursuits #1

Summary: As Lucy Muchelney watches her ex-lover’s sham of a wedding, she wishes herself anywhere else. It isn’t until she finds a letter from the Countess of Moth, looking for someone to translate a groundbreaking French astronomy text, that she knows where to go. Showing up at the Countess’ London home, she hoped to find a challenge, not a woman who takes her breath away.

Catherine St Day looks forward to a quiet widowhood once her late husband’s scientific legacy is fulfilled. She expected to hand off the translation and wash her hands of the project—instead, she is intrigued by the young woman who turns up at her door, begging to be allowed to do the work, and she agrees to let Lucy stay. But as Catherine finds herself longing for Lucy, everything she believes about herself and her life is tested.

While Lucy spends her days interpreting the complicated French text, she spends her nights falling in love with the alluring Catherine. But sabotage and old wounds threaten to sever the threads that bind them. Can Lucy and Catherine find the strength to stay together or are they doomed to be star-crossed lovers?

***Full review under the cut.***

Content Warnings: sexism, allusions to homophobia

Overview: I feel like I’m in the minority of not loving this book as much as I wanted to. Based on content alone, it should have been a perfect storm for me: a historical sapphic romance, a lady scientist, debates about the value of art and women’s contributions... but while the romance genre doesn’t have nearly enough wlw stories, representation alone wasn’t enough to sustain my interest in this novel. It had the threads of a good story - something along the lines of The Countess Conspiracy or The Suffragette Scandal - but in my opinion, too much of the focus was on needless interpersonal drama, which left the plot dragging for the bulk of the story. So though the representation is great, and there are a number of feminist themes that I think are valuable, I didn’t enjoy this book enough to give it more than 2 or 3 stars.

Writing: Waite’s prose is about what you’d expect from the romance genre. It’s simple and straightforward, getting to the point without leaving the reader wondering what’s going on. My main criticism would perhaps be that Waite sometimes does a little head-hopping in the middle of a chapter without a section break. One minute, we’ll be seeing things from Lucy’s POV, and the next, we’ll get something from Catherine, then back to Lucy. It was a little jarring, but not too distracting - I could still immerse myself in the story ok.

Plot: The Lady’s Guide follows Lucy Muchelney as she translates, expands, and publishes M. Oleron’s Mechanique celeste (an astronomy text) under the patronage of Lady Catherine St. Day, Countess of Moth. After being rebuffed by the male members of the Polite Science Society, Lucy endeavors to render her own translation in hopes of educating readers who are interested in astronomy, but may not have had access to the range of texts needed to understand Oleron’s work. Catherine, for her part, funds the printing of Lucy’s work, while also discovering her own value as an embroiderer.

On the surface, this plot had all the things I love: women in science, valuing women’s art, a social commentary on patriarchy. But despite the interesting threads, I didn’t feel as if Waite used them to the greatest advantage. Aside from a few scenes, there wasn’t a lot of external pressure from the Polite Society; any drama that arose from their sexism was easily dismissed or avoided with a trip to the country, and I felt as if sexism in this book was more of a nuisance than a threat. This isn’t to say I wanted the characters to be constantly suffering or be miserable from an onslaught of male meddling, but I would like to have seen more of a sustained plotline where the Polite Society attempts to thwart Lucy’s efforts, thereby creating more suspense and giving Lucy and Catherine some external challenges to face together.

I also think the subplots could have been strengthened so that they enhanced the main conflict. The plot involving Eliza, the maid with a talent for sketching, was a good parallel to Catherine’s arc, which involved finding and rewarding women’s talents in art, but Eliza wasn’t a compelling character on her own, nor did I think Catherine reflect enough on the paradox of how she encouraged Eliza but not herself. I also think more could have been done with Lucy’s brother, Stephen, so that his meddling in Lucy’s career paralleled the Polite Society’s - just in a more subtle way, thereby showing different forms of sexism. Granted, there is a little of that, but like the Polite Society, Stephen pops up at convenient times before disappearing a page or two later.

Characters: I hate to say it, but I didn’t feel as if I could connect to the characters. Lucy, one of our heroines, is a mathematician and astronomer who inspires Catherine to see herself as an artist... and that’s mostly it. I guess she’s also bold and headstrong, but honestly, she felt more like an archetype than a fully-fledged character.

Catherine, for her part, is meek on account of being mistreated by her husband, but has brilliant skills as an embroiderer and is generous with her financial support. I did like the depth that Catherine had with regards to her insecurity over whether or not she could call herself an artist, and I liked that she respected Lucy’s feelings and didn’t allow her desires to be too selfish. But I also felt like she had no ambition or desires of her own until maybe 75% of the way through the book, and she mainly existed to support Lucy.

Side characters were hit or miss. I liked the idea of Eliza, the maid who gets to put her drawing skills to use as an engraver, but she wasn’t a fully-fleshed out character and didn’t hold my interest on her own. Stephen, Lucy’s brother, had the potential to be interesting, as he is an artist and acts as a foil to Lucy in many ways, but he flits in and out of the story as needed. Even Lucy’s ex, Pricilla, seems only to exist to make petty drama; there was no pining, no angst, and I didn’t see why Lucy had once loved her. There wasn’t even any commentary on how both Pris and Catherine were blond women who were skilled at embroidery.

Polite Society members had the potential to be good antagonists, but because their appearances were so contained, I don’t think they were used to their full potential. They provided some nice commentary, but I would have liked to see them meddle more often in Lucy’s translation process.

Romance: This is personal preference: I don’t like it when the love interests get together too early in the story. It usually means the rest of the romance is going to revolve around petty drama, and I think that’s what I got here. Lucy and Catherine become a couple some 25% of the way through the book, and for the life of me, I couldn’t see why they wanted to be together other than they were interested in women and happened to be sharing a house. Over time, their reasons for loving one another became a little more clear: Lucy loves that Catherine believes in her and lets her forge her own path, whereas Catherine loves that Lucy values her skills and lifts her up, rather than dismissing her (as Catherine’s deceased husband did). While these are certainly nice, I wanted there to be a little more to their romance. Because they got together so quickly, there was very little pining, very little growth in their affections.

I also think all the angst and relationship drama that happened after they got together was a little tedious. Lucy spends some time pining for her ex, which causes Catherine to be jealous. Catherine also sees the relationship as being incompatible at one point because Lucy likes science and she likes art, so of course that means they’re on different paths that can’t be reconciled. Most of the barriers to the relationship could have been overcome by either talking it out or getting to know one another a little better, so rather than good tension (in the form of suspense), I felt like there was pointless tension. I would have much rather seen Waite dive into the very real concerns, such as the economic inequality between them or the lack of permanence that comes with not being able to marry - I think those are real, life-altering concerns that could have tied in well with the non-romance plot, but unfortunately, those concerns seemed to be resolved a little too neatly.

TL;DR: Despite having some much-needed wlw representation and a number of feminist themes, The Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics does little to cultivate a compelling plot and relies on misunderstandings to drive the romantic tension.

[themuffinbee]

Someone said that C1 is very "het" and I decided not to comment on A. How many PCs were bi and B. How many queer NPCs there were. Like would I have loved to see some more canon f/f and m/m pairings? Sure, but C1 is more queer than a lot of media.

Quoting in your second part, dear anon: “ ALSO ASSUMING WIDOJEST IS A HET SHIP IGNORES CALEBS BISEXUALITY (since I'm 99% sure he said that he, Astrid, and Wulf were all together) and I am BIG MAD”

Haha, I saw the second part first and was trying to figure out what the heck I said to elicit that kind of reaction, then I saw the first part. Social anxiety attack averted!

Some good points here, friend. CR does provide a wealth of LBGT+ content, C1 included, and it’s really awesome to see it without it feeling forced. Let’s face it, most shows either have only a token gay character or a melodramatic, ham-fisted approach to queer romance that just leaves me cringing. Matt and the cast have done an amazing job at presenting a thoughtful and believable narrative when it comes to lbgt characters. What I find more important than the canon pairings is the actual representation of the queer characters themselves. By this, I do not mean the quantity, but the quality of the acting and the thought behind it. Vax in C1 and Beau’s confession in C2 have had a major resonance with a ton of bi peeps and wlws, and that effect is (to me) so much more important than who the characters themselves end up with. Then again, I’m a bi-rom ace, so I may have a weird perspective on that. Anyway, we’ve been blessed with something great here, and I wish we as a fandom could be more thankful and encouraging of this trend rather than angry. There are few places you are going to find so much good queer representation, let’s always remember this even as we ask for more.

As for your second message: YES. SO YES. I don’t know if the Blumencrew were canonically all together, I don’t remember Liam saying that and Caleb seems far more hung up on Astrid than he is Wulf. Given that, I don’t think we can draw any conclusions. But his reactions to Essek (though they may be more calculated than authentic) definitely indicate he is into dudes as well as ladies. Bi peeps are still bi no matter who they’re with, and calling Widojest a het ship is definitely a form of orientation erasure. Sure, it’s a girl and a dude, but that doesn’t make it hetero. As mentioned before, I am a bi-rom ace lady, and I am married to a dude. A person looking at us and labeling us as a hetero relationship would just feel weird and...inaccurate.

Ew, inaccuracies. Gross.

Even if a person does (inaccurately) call Widojest a het ship, I think there’s an even bigger problem there: the shaming of another orientation. I have never seen someone call a ship “het” without it being meant as an insult or a form of condescension, and that’s really not okay. With the exception of ships that go against a character’s stated orientation (for example, someone shipping Beau with Fjord or Caleb), then there’s really no need to even comment on it. A ship shouldn’t be “less than” just because of its orientation. That’s called discrimination, my friends, and it’s wrong no matter which way you frame it. Wlw ships? Awesome. Mlm ships? Heck yes. Flm/Mlf ships? Right on, my dude. They’re all valid and their shippers should be respected. So let’s just all chill and love each other, okay?

Sorry this got so long, my dear anon. I get verbose when I’m sick. Thanks for the messages :)

[thehollowprince]

The girls in the skam fandom always lose it when someone bring up their weird ass behavior towards mlm relationships lmaooo if it were man doing the same with wlw... wheeew

Oh, it's not just the SKAM fandoms. I've been in fandom for a long, long time, since before I even knew what fandom was, and this little subculture of girls screaming over two guys together has been present everywhere.

My first experience with "modern fandom", complete with social media apps like Tumblr and such, was Teen Wolf, and let me tell you, the crazies in that fandom made up m|m characters, as in took two characters and declared them to both like boys, because "the actual gay character wasn't there enough" (though I'm sure the fact that he was brown had nothing to do with it 😉)

Sadly, this is probably going to continue in fandom for a really long time, possibly indefinitely, because everyone saw how many of those asks I got yesterday, and that's from a small fandom. It'll continue because those people who call them out on their behavior will always be fewer in number than those who want to dig in their heels and scream censorship when someone points out how harmful or toxic their behavior is, especially toward the demographic they like to exploit. To a lot of them, we're not people, we're something there for their entertainment, a fashion accessory, a fad, something they can whip out to both get off on and to use as a shield against claims of being a bad person ("I'm not homophobic, I have a gay ship"). We're the G.B.F.

Too many gay and bi men have given up trying to point out how harmful some of that behavior is because it's like arguing with a brick wall, it's like trying to tell a Republican why their platform is harmful to other people, that don't listen because they don't care.

Tumblr in particular exacerbates the whole issue because this is one of the only online places where we can still be anonymous, thus granting a lot of people who would never say or act the way some of them did to me yesterday the boldness to do so, because there are no consequences for that. These people can use anon to try and shame you into silence and then go back to their blogs where they can pretend that they have no idea what's going on. And if you somehow do manage to find out where they came from, ifs easy as hell to change your name and profile at the drop of a hat on here.

These are the people that love to claim the moral high ground and hate being called out for their bullshit. The ones that think they can't be a bigot of any kind because they happen to be a woman, as if there aren't plenty of women out there dedicated to stripping me of my rights. It's the same with men. How many of these men in the world, these misogynistic douchebags who want their wives barefoot and pregnant, especially those in politics, who are dedicated to preventing equal pay and making sure women are "lesser" than men, how many of them do you think get off to lesbian porn?

Obviously, the type of people I just described doesn't include everyone in the fandom. I actually know quite a few ladies in fandom who enjoy shows with a gay subplot or romance who do so in a respectful manner. I'm just tired of having to wade through and put up with the other kind (the loud fandom, even if they're not the large fandom) to talk to and with people about these fandom issues that directly effect me.

[fandomshatelgbtqpeople]

Did you seriously say the Roswell fandom fetishizes malex? Honestly hun get lost we adore echo as well but the ships ain’t anything new so it doesn’t get the hype, doesn’t mean we fetishize malex in anyway whatsoever

There’s literally an ask right after yours less than an hour after yours saying this

and then there’s this poll where literally half the votes went directly to Michael and Alex

I mean yeah I voted twice in the poll so the numbers for Liz, Maria and Rosa are kinda boosted but honestly this is so typical of fetishizing a whitepassing mlm ship. Not to mention as a group the shippers have no idea how to treat them as three dimensional characters. For example I’ve never seen the M*lex shippers as a whole take their faves to task for their flaws. Here’s a few examples. 

In the first few episodes Michael and Isobel threaten Liz. They scare her in her place of business where she’d just been shot. Did I ever see any meta about how shitty this was since she’d already received such a cold reception to the town? There was plenty of ways they could have made their presences and protectiveness of Max known without threatening her.  He’s never apologized for this granted he did help Liz come up with the antidote but Isobel certainly never stopped being bitchy. 

There’s this scene where Michael blows out the windows of a random ladies car windows because of Liz is getting close to Max just to get Max distracted.  He endangered random civilians just because he’s protective he could have called Max. Or pushed Max away with telekinesis.  I waited until now to mention that I never saw the shippers talk about how shitty this was of Michael. 

Alex has many interactions with non-Michael people but you wouldn’t know it according to M*lex shippers there’s no mention from of his friendships of Liz, Maria, or Kyle. UNTIL Maria had the audacity to sleep with Michael (more on that later). 

Alex has repeatedly pushed Michael away for reasons of his own. That’s fine but this fandom acts like when Michael finally moved on after weeks of waiting around like Michael was the epitome of the cheating bisexual trope (Some nifty biphobia there). I don’t remember if I reblogged it here or on my personal but I did see accusation after insinuation that Michael owed his entire life to Alex when hello Alex didn’t want him anymore! 

Then there’s the fact that Alex is hiding the alien artifact from Michael which again none of you are pointing out. 

The scene where Alex told Maria told about him and Michael he did so to make Maria feel bad. I’ve seen countless bad takes about how he did it to claim his man. When honestly he should have waited for Michael to handle things with her.  That next scene where Michael goes to the Wild Pony to see Maria he was just looking for friendship and the way Maria turned him away it wasn’t fair that Alex lost that for him.  But ofc none of you saw that only caring about your ship not about Michael’s friendships. Which I don’t know if you even care but he’s got like 2 outside of the podsquad Liz and Maria. Alex has 2 long term best friends plus Kyle. But of course y’all fetishize Michael him so of course you don’t actually care about whether he actually has friends.

The fact that Michael has completely different relationships with Alex and Maria and dynamics does not even occur to you people. Michael’s little speech to Isobel about how he’ll always love Alex but lately its a crash landing says a lot about why he chose Maria in the finale. I get that he promised Alex he’d talk to him but if being with Alex causes him too much pain why do you even want that for your supposed fave?  

Then there’s this from your side of the fandom which thankfully was rebuked kinda but still not thoroughly because the blog owner still wants Maria out of the way.

Like I get wanting a wlw storyline I’d love one but why would you want Mabel when Maria/Isobel are enemies?  Why not Rosa/Maria?  Like you really don’t care about Maria at all.  Plus there’s the fact that Maria was supposed to be with Michael in the books and in the original show but once she was racebent to a Black woman her storyline was given to a whitepassing man. 

TLDR  There’s a lot of fetishizing going I brought up some examples of how M*lex shippers completely gloss over their faves flaws or just in Alex’s case just being one dimensional props to Michael. You clearly don’t love Echo as evidenced by the poll. Y’all hate Maria trying to ship her with her anyone else literally her enemy before Michael who actually cares about her. 

mod m

[heliothen-stories]

Winter Rivalry - Chapter 2

Happy new year everyone!!!!! I hope all your dreams and wishes for the new year come true! :D

Now please enjoy this winter-y novella with these two idiots

Summary: Just a winter novella about two school rivals -Olympia and Amelia- having to do a project together during their Christmas break.

Warnings: none

Tags: wlw, enemies to friends to lovers, fluff, slowburn, mutual pining, winter stuff

Word count: 1500 (or something)

[Introduction] [Previous Chapter]

Olympia's pov

I took off my ice skaters then whipped the sweat from my forehead. Something cold touched my cheek and I looked up to see my teacher smiling down at me with three water bottles in her hands.

I gratefully accepted one of them, then watched as she gave the rest of the bottles to my other two -and only- classmates in our little ice skating class.

"Great job today guys," she said, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "The show is going to be great!"

I gulped down my water, wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and gave her a toothy grin. "We were pretty great."

Evan, the oldest of the class, clapped my teacher on her shoulder. "Not to brag or anything, Charlie, but your students killed practice today. Especially me," he told her with a wink.

I stood and flung my backpack over my shoulder before I reached out to flick his nose. "You wish."

Charlie shook her head with a laugh. "Not to disappoint the both of you, but Aidan has you both beat today."

I turned to look at Aidan who was as red as a tomato. "Hear that chipmunk? That's one more point for you."

"Is it just me, or is Aidan getting all the points?" Evan asked as he adopted what seemed to be a pout.

"It's just you," said Charlie with a roll of her eyes. "And please fix your face. It is very weird."

The corners of his mouth turned up and he waggled his eyebrows.

I peered at his face then shook my head. "Yeah, not much better."

He lightly punched me on the shoulder. I stuck my tongue out at him then we all moved to help Charlie pack things up before making our way outside and waiting as Charlie locked.

Those two hours of ice skating were just the thing I needed to take my mind of the fact that I had to go home and face the scolding I was bound to get for skipping my last school class to go ice skating. I couldn't hold off going home forever though, not with practice finished. Then I was hit by an idea.

"Are you guys up for building a snowman?"

Charlie turned towards me with her eyebrows raised. "Don't you have to study for school?"

My nose crinkled as my mind went to Amelia and the biology project. Instinctively my hand went to my pocket where the note with her phone number was nestled, along with some gum.

"Olympia doesn't study the rest of the year. What makes you think that she will study now with the holidays approaching?" asked Evan with a laugh.

It was my turn to punch him on the shoulder. "I do study! Sometimes..."

"Well I would love to make a snowman," Aidan chipped in, in his usual timid voice. For a 16 year old Aidan sounded way too young. That, along with his very round face and big blue eyes made even me sometimes forget that he was just a year younger than me.

I clapped my hands together in triumph. "It's settled then!" Building a snowman was the perfect way to put off having to go home and deal with my family and with my project.

~

Building a snowman eventually escalated into a full-blown snowball fight. The sun had set by the time I reached my home, aching all over.

Gingerly, I opened the front door and peeked inside. The lights were closed, giving the house an air of emptyness. Then a voice came from the living room.

"Olympia is that you?" My mother. I sighed in relief.

"Yup."

Taking off my coat and gloves, I made my way towards the living room and found her sitting on the sofa watching TV.

I plopped myself down beside her and turned to ask her how her day had been when I noticed the silent figure sitting on the kitchen table. The relief I had felt before vanished in an instant.

I hastened to plaster a smile on my face. "Hi dad. Didn't notice you there."

His mouth was set in a hard line and I could see the crease forming on his forehead. "We need to talk."

Well this was going to suck.

~

No matter how many times I had heard the same scolding, it always managed to ruin my good mood. Today had been no different.

After the usual round of you are wasting your potential and why can't you just be like your older siblings I was finally in my room. Alone.

I pulled out the tiny note with Amelia's phone number. Laying across my bed, I reached for my phone.

Amelia's pov

I had been reading Algebra when my phone pinged. I did not recognise the number but unfortunately I didn't really have to guess who it was. There could only be one person reaching me today and there could only be one reason for that.

'Hi' The message read. Not two seconds after two more texts appeared on my screen.

'It's Olympia'

'From school'

Like there could be any other Olympias.

'Yeah I figured' I sent back.

The answer was almost immediate. 'Of course you did'

What was that supposed to mean?

I didn't have time to delve on that thought, however, since my mother chose that moment to enter my room - without knocking. As always. She eyed the phone held in my hands with a judgemental look. "I hope you are not wasting your time on that thing again."

"No mother. I was actually texting my classmate that I will be working on the project with."

She seemed pleased to hear that. "Are they a good student? I would hate it for them to drag you down since you are trying so hard."

I would hate for you to get a bad grade and embarrass me I translated in my head.

I went for a -what I hoped would be reassuring- smile. "Don't worry mother, she is rather good. Of course not as good as me," I hastened to add.

It wasn't really a lie. Olympia was an average student and would have been even better if she cared more about school and less about whatever it was she cared about.

My mother nodded. "Good good." She seemed in a relaxed mood, which was always a good sign.

"Mother would it be okay for us to use our library for our project? We shall be very careful."

Please say yes. Just the thought of having to get out of my house in the snow made me shiver from the cold.

She seemed to think about it then cracked a smile. "Of course my dear. Anything for you." And your good grades her smile seemed to be saying.

"Well, I am heading out" And as an afterthought she added "don't forget your manners when your partner does come."

"Of course, mother," I said, fighting back the scowl of hearing the word partner.

Once she had left I checked my phone. Seven new messages stared back at me.

'So about the project'

'I would tell you to come to my home but meeh sooo... any ideas?'

'No ideas?'

'Helloooo'

'Are you dead'

'You know if you don't have any suggestions you can just say so no need to be embarassed ;)'

'Yes hello I would like to speak to my partner but it seems that she was eaten by a monster can I get a refund?'

I couldn't help the scowl that took over my features.

I started typing as fast as I could. 'I am here, so you can stop.'

'Oh thank God you had me worried there partner'

'I am sure.' I hit send then started typing again. 'Have you ever heard of proper punctuation?'

'No sorry I don't know the lady'

I was ready to tell her that I was not surprised but decided against it. This was not the time for our usual bickering. The sooner this project was done the better. Then I would have more time to focus on the rest of my studies - the ones that actually mattered.

'Anyways, we could use my house. Nobody will be home.' My father would thankfully be out tonight and with my mom gone as well I had the whole house for myself.

'Well that doesn't sound threatening at all' her text message read.

I pursed my lips but decided to let it slide.

'Can you just answer if you can come or not?'

A few moments later my phone lit up with another text message.

'Uhm ok. When?' Would you look at that. She actually wrote something like a human being.

'How about today?'

'Can't wait to see me?'

'You wish.'

'Sure i can come today'

I started writing out perfect but stopped myself. I shouldn't seem so desperate to get this over with. Even if I was and she probably knew it.

'It's settled then?'

'Yeah yeah just tell me where you live and when you want me to come'

Well someone seemed to be in a bad mood.

'Silver street 57a. In an hour.'

'It's a date ;)'

I was starting to hate winking faces more and more.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

[Introduction] [Previous Chapter]

Thank you so much for reading! Don't be afraid to tell me your thoughts!

Tag list: @killer-badass , @lilmissravingwriter , @giniafrost , @jeteveux-siempre , @the-aspiring-author-me , @violetqueenmarie , @martynaa-m

[queenieofaces]

On being unrequited

This post has been cross-posted to The Asexual Agenda.  On a completely unrelated note, today is my fifth anniversary of writing for TAA!

Content warnings: mention of suicide in a fictional work, discussion of trauma messing with conceptions of the future and relationships, brief mention of abusive relationships (with no specifics),  some crappy statements about the insufficiency of aces in relationships

Let me start by saying that this is a topic that I’m still puzzling out how to talk about, but let me start here: It’s hard to overstate the impact reading Cardcaptor Sakura had on me as a teenager.  It wasn’t the first piece of media I’d consumed that depicted women in love with other women (I’d been in a production of The Children’s Hour, a play in which the lesbian character, predictably, commits suicide), but I think it may have been the first story I’d read that had (non-adult) girls crushing on other girls.  For those not familiar with Cardcaptor Sakura, it’s a manga (later made into an anime, retitled Cardcaptors in the US) about a magical girl named Sakura.  Sakura’s best friend, Tomoyo, is in love with Sakura, but she knows that Sakura doesn’t return her feelings, so she spends much of the series supporting Sakura from the sidelines and cheering her on as she pursues other relationships.

Part of the reason this manga had such a huge impact on me was because I was reading it just as I was realizing that I had a crush on one of my very close friends.  I was absolutely certain that said friend didn’t return my feelings, so I decided to be a Tomoyo and cheer her on from the sidelines.  As long as she was happy, I would be happy.

These types of unrequited crushes are obviously very, very common in wlw media (and in real life).  I have a playlist of wlw music, for example, and while there are a couple of songs about ladies mutually crushing on other ladies, it’s much more common to have songs like “Sleepover” by Hayley Kiyoko or Mary Lambert’s cover of “Jessie’s Girl” or  “Jenny” by Studio Killers (although that one, at least, ends well* in the MV).  Kataomoi (片思い; more or less “unrequited feelings”) is a pretty common trope in Japanese f/f content as well, especially if it’s set during high school or middle school.  (Azumanga Daioh, which was also formative in my teens, has Kaorin crushing on Sakaki for the entire manga.)  I didn’t read a book with a girl who had a girlfriend, let alone one who still had a living girlfriend at the end of the story, until I was in my twenties.  (I started finding books with endgame m/m couples in my early teens, for comparison, although I also read a lot of books with m/m couples who broke up or died before the end.)  While it’s easier to find happy f/f couples in media now, I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that the idea that if you’re a woman who is attracted to other women, many of your crushes are likely to be unrequited still permeates wlw spaces and media content.

This idea has heavily shaped the way that I approach relationships.  A few months ago I was talking to a friend who said that she found the idea of being friends with someone she had a crush on without ever saying anything really painful.  Never saying anything is my baseline.  I’m pretty much exclusively attracted to people I’m close friends with, so my desire to Not Make It Weird way overweighs my desire to say anything.  I’d much rather have a close friend I have inappropriately big feelings for (and never act on) than make someone else uncomfortable and potentially jeopardize our friendship.  So, unless I’m pretty certain that they feel the same way or the situation is becoming untenable as is, I don’t make it weird.  I’ve had people tell me that’s sad when I’ve mentioned it, but I don’t think it’s sad.  I’m not a martyr or “suffering in the friendzone” (ew)--it just is what it is.

Now here’s where I feel like I don’t quite have the words to talk about this yet: I think there’s a similar phenomenon in ace communities.  I’ve talked before about the puddle problem: “Sure, there may be other fishies in the sea, but, personally, my sea is more like a puddle and most of the fishies would rather hang out in a real body of water.”  Beyond that, I feel that there’s often an assumption of incompatibility or unrequited feelings that aces carry into relationships.  There’s the endless issue of sexual incompatibility, of compromise, and all the different tools we’ve made to get around that.  (This isn’t even touching some of the nastier comments about asexual people “inflicting themselves” on “normally sexual persons.”**)   There’s, as Laura describes it, “a kind of wariness of situations where I might be expected to have sexual feelings or motivations, because then people might want something from me that I can’t give.”  Even in friendships there’s the fear that you’ll never be #1 or that your friends will prioritize their other relationships over you.  There’s often an assumption that you’re going to have to deal with being insufficient (because you don’t experience attraction you should) or with your friends and/or partners prioritizing relationships differently than you (because they’re not getting enough/the right things from your relationship).

Even in ace/ace relationships, I assume that we’ll have incompatible desires--that someone, to some degree, will be unrequited.  There tends to be an assumption that aces are inherently compatible with other aces, but, as someone who has been in relationships with multiple aces, I can say that is not true.***  Here’s a fairly innocuous example: I am not a very cuddly person.  I used to be much cuddlier, but I’ve gotten more touch-averse with age and substantial trauma.  I sometimes have days where I don’t want anyone to touch me, regardless of how casual or glancing it might be.  Needless to say, this can be a major stumbling block if I’m in a relationship with someone who expresses affection physically or who wants consistent physical affection from me.

I tend to assume that any relationship (romantic or not) I have is going to have some level of uneven feelings.  Either I am attracted to them and they are not to me (the Tomoyo problem), or they are to me and I am not to them (the insufficiency problem), or we’re both attracted to each other but in different ways (the physical affection incompatibility problem).  Heck, I designed a model of relationships to help navigate relationships where feelings are imbalanced.  And this is, again, not something I find particularly sad or pity-worthy.  I want different things than other people, not through any fault of mine or theirs, but just because that is how it is.  This is my baseline.

When it becomes a problem is when decide to settle for what I can get--when I look at my tiny puddle and think, “Well, I’m never going to get anything better than this.”  That can be bad when it’s compelled me to stay in abusive relationships, but even in healthy relationships that assumption isn't fair to me, and it’s also not fair to the people who matter to me. I often assume that I care more about other people than they care about me, so I’m sometimes surprised and unsure how to react when people demonstrate that they do actually care for me.  I am much better equipped to deal with having inappropriately big feelings for someone than I am to deal with underestimating someone else’s feelings for me.  I also have the fun PTSD symptom of a sense of foreshortened future.  Specifically, in my case, I rationally know that the future is coming, since that’s generally how time works, and I can plan for it, but I have no gut feeling that the future is real.****  (If this sounds like a really weird experience, I promise you that it 100% is.)  I tend to assume that I have no permanency in other people’s lives.  Other people will move on and find other relationships, and I’ll be there to cheer them on from the sidelines (or just...not be there, I guess; it’s not that I’m expecting something to happen to me so much as that I struggle to imagine my future self).  I’m often caught off guard whenever anyone demonstrates that they’re expecting me to be in their life in a tangible way in the future.

I have no solutions here and no real conclusion, since, as I said, I’m still trying to find the words to talk about this.  I guess the point that I’m trying to get at is the extent to which I carry the assumption of imbalanced feelings (being unrequited? unrequitedness?) into all of my relationships.  I don't know how common this experience is, and I don’t think it’s a uniquely ace experience (as I said at the beginning of this post, it’s a trope in a lot of f/f content).  In my case at least, I think it is shaped by my sitting at the intersection of aceness and queerness and trauma.  I don’t think I can fully say it’s a good thing or a bad thing--on one hand, I’m pretty prepared to do the relationship negotiation dance at any moment (I have CHARTS and KEYWORDS), but on the other hand, I often have to actively counter my own baseline assumptions, which can be skewed in weird and negative ways.

*Well, I mean, if you consider “turning into a tiger and carrying your love to safety” to be “ending well.”

**Dan Savage, who made the comments in the link, has softened signficantly in his stance on asexuality, but I think it’s important to remember that these sorts of comments were coming out right around the time I started coming out to people, and so I had to directly address them when people brought them up (which, to be clear, they did; Dan Savage was weirdly widely read in my college friend group).  While I rationally know I’m not inflicting myself on anyone, when you hear something enough times, it does sort of dig its claws into you.  Or maybe that’s just me.

***Here is where I recommend one of my favorite acefics, “’Til Break of Day.”  I’m not involved in The Hobbit fandom at all, but it’s genuinely one of the best depictions of an incompatible ace/ace relationship that I’ve read.  Check it out if you’re so inclined.

****At some point maybe I’ll bite the bullet and write a proper post on queer futurity instead of just yelling about it incoherently to my friends.  Maybe.

[anemonensblog]

11(33) Questions meme

So I got tagged by @writsgrimmyblog quite a while ago, and didn’t get around to answering it since I was travelling, so got further tagged by @dictacontrion​ and @huldrejenta​. So this is very long. Hence the cut thing.

RULES:

- Always post the rules

- Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you

- Write 11 questions of your own

- Tag 11 people (or however many you want)

As for my questions, I’m tagging @eidheann, @dracogotgame, @capipuff, @awesomedig, @comingupwithusernamesishard, @noeeon, @i-didnt-wanna-do-it, @firethesound and then if you guys who tagged me wants to do my questions too, I wouldn’t mind readig your answers :D

@writsgrimmyblog​ asked:

1.       What’s your favourite quote from a book or poem? I'm not the best at picking out quotes and I've never been big on poetry, but Kate Tempest has some texts that really digs into my soul. Seeing her at the third biggest stage at Glastonbury, a spoken word artist drawing such a crowd - was pretty powerful. So I chose this quote from her 'Tunnel Vision':

"The myth of the individual has left us disconnected, lost, and pitiful" (which sounds a bit bleak, but the whole poem/album is really powerful, and it ends on a sort of hopeful note.)

2.       What song makes you want to dance like nobody’s watching? I only ever dance like nobody's watching :D latest to Pumarosa at their set at Glastonbury, and then to some pretty heavy techno waiting for Josefin Örn's set at the Glade. While I don't listen to it much on my own, nothing really makes me let loose and not give a shit like hard electronic music does wrt dancing.

3.       What’s your favourite ship to read? Currently Larry. Fic wise it's such a varied pairing to read - covering so many themes and settings - so I never manage to get tired of it. I also really love Tomlinshaw, but Drarry is always in my heart - my first and deepest fandom love.

4.       If you could own one item of clothing belonging to any celebrity what would you pick and why? Umm, is it weird to be in a celeb related fandom and say that I don't really pay that much attention to celebrities? I guess in the sense of overall style I usually like Kristen Stewart's choices and I'd probably be more than happy to wear her wardrobe at all times. But for a single item I'd probably go for one of Harry Styles's lush and luxurious and ridiculously expensive floral blouses and pair it with a pair of high waisted skinny jeans and my brogues.

5.       Gif with a hard or soft ‘g’? Well, as I usually pronounce file formats in Norwegian, the hard g is the only one that makes sense. I suppose we do have a version of soft g too, but that would make it yif, and that just sounds weird. So hard g it is!

6.       What’s your favourite fanfic ‘getting together’ trope? Hmm, does coming to terms with one's sexuality count as a getting together trope? That always hits me really hard and feels very emotional. Otherwise I guess friends to lovers and enemies to lovers, with loads of pining and ust.

7.       What’s your guiltiest pleasure? I'm not sure I actually have a really guilty pleasure? I used to watch a lot of Americas next top model, just because I loved seeing the process with the photo shoots, so maybe that's a little guilty with regards to how the modelling and fashion industry perpetuates some very unhealthy things.

8.       Most relatable 1D (or solo 1D) lyric? “If tomorrow you won’t be mine, won’t you give it to me one last time” JK LMAO but no one can convince me that song isn’t fucking hilarious. For real though, I’m more of a melody than lyrics kind of gal, so I’m not entirely sure? Maybe this one, for good luck, since I’m making some changes in my life (also bonus since they are Louis’ lines :D): “I think I'm gonna win this time, Riding on the wind and I won't give up, I think I'm gonna win this time, I roll and I roll, 'til I change my luck, I roll and I roll, 'til I change my luck”

9.       If you could give one piece of advice to a celebrity, what would it be? I don't necessarily feel like I have any good basis for giving advice to celebs, but I guess just remembering to keep a healthy perspective towards the world, and to use their platform for good. Their participation in politics and activism could do more good than I think a lot of them realise. (But stay informed and think before you speak.)

10.   Tell me your favourite joke. You know, I literally can’t think of a single joke. I guess I could search for some, but that would sort of belie the point.

11.   If you were famous for a day, what question would you most dread being asked during an interview? I think anything related to diet/workout routine/keeping my body in shape would make me feel really uncomfortable and objectified.

@dictacontrion​'s questions:

1.       If you could have one billion dollars or the not (or only incidentally) profitable superpower of your choosing, which would you choose and why? As my big dream/my favourite thing to do is travelling and seeing the world, my chosen superpower would probably be teleportation. BUT teleportation would still leave me with the issue of spending money and getting days off work (unless I used the teleportation for criminal purposes I guess). So I think I'd go for the billion dollars, which not only would enable me to travel as much and however I'd like, but is such a ridiculous amount of money that maybe I could use it to do some good in the world.

2.       What article of clothing makes you feel most awesome? The way I dress is incredibly dependent on my mood, but I guess maybe my denim shorts? Mostly because of the setting in which I would wear them. I love the feeling of warm air and sun on bare skin more than practically anything, so the few occasions where I'm able to wear my denim shorts I feel happy and awesome from the get-go :)

3.       How did you get into your most recent fandom? That must be the 1d fandom, so long story short: a 1d fanfic based m/m novel tickled my curiousity, Harry's 'not that important' even more so. Got recommended the fantastic gryles fic “If this is love” by sunsetmog which I read and adored, and diving deeper into sunsemog’s fics I then read “I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow” which till this day still stands as one of my fave ever fics. Then followed some arbitrary tumblr searching and blog following, and in time the rabbit hole that is Larry swallowed me hole and has failed to spit me back out.

4.       What’s your least favorite/most hated book, and why? I’m terribly impatient, so I don’t really finish stuff I don’t like? So I don’t really have that passionate bad feelings about any one book I’ve read. Read some 1800s Norwegian realism/naturalism literature in high school which at the time felt like a drag, but in hindsight I’m very happy I read. Moby Dick annoyed the hell out of me, and I gave up halfway through, but I still don’t hate it, I don’t think. So I don’t really know *shrugs*

5.       Describe a fanwork you’d love to read/see/watch, but don’t want to create yourself, please? Ummm, a long and plotty Ginny/Luna fic maybe. I’d love to read more femslash, but the fics I’ve seen out there are usually just little ficlet. And nothing against a good ficlet, but I’m longing to dive deep into a long and immersive wlw story. (Incidentally, if anyone have any such recs, be it fanfic or original fiction, I’d be happy to hear about it!)

6.       What would be the lineup of your ideal music festival? Ahhhh this is simultaneously the hardest and the best possible question for me!! Okayyy: Grimes, Years & Years, One Direction (ofc), Pumarosa, Arctic Monkeys, Lianne La Havas, Shura, The Shins, Loyle Carner, Wolf Alice, Ezra Furman, Lady Gaga and Rihanna (the two of whom I don't listen to much, but I think they'd bring some amazing pop flair), the Kills, Chvrches, All We Are, Warpaint, Tame Impala, Susanne Sundfør, Amason and then Katzenjammer for some fun nostalgia, ohh and Kate Tempest! and Charli XCX was a lot of fun and I wouldn’t mind seeing her again. ummm okay and then a club line-up for after hours with AlunaGeorge, Disclosure, Hot Chip, Roger Sanchez, Röksopp ft Robyn, Christine Dancke and Nick Grimshaw because why not ;) (And now I’ll probably go on to regret everyone I forgot to add)

7.       You’re given the power to unilaterally create one law or policy in one country - what is it? To nationalise all natural resources so their riches would benefit the people rather than a few rich private business owners and multinational corporations who are often not even based locally.

8.       If you had to commit to living in one place for the rest of your life, what would it be?  Part of me wants to say London, but I think realistically I'll have to choose Bergen (in Norway)<3

9.       Thinking about your life a year from now, what’s one thing that you hope will be different? I hope I’m no longer in this limbo between life phases and will have got to implement the changes I’m going for properly.

10.   What’s one thing that you hope will be the same? My relationship.

11.   What’s the last thing that made you laugh? Was out with some friends for beers last night, which included many laughs, but I can’t remember what in particular that made me laugh. I hang out with these people way to rarely. They’re such great people, and hanging out with them feels so relaxed.

And last but not least, @huldrejenta​‘s questions:

1. What was your favourite album as a teenager? Depends on when you asked me. If I was 13, probably “The Eminem Show”, but as a 17-year old, most definitely Arctic Monkeys’ “Whatever People Say I Am That’s What I’m Not” (which still stands as one of my all time favourites)

2. What’s your favourite album now? Pumarosa – “The Witch” – fantastic album, which I wholeheartedly recommend.

3. One pairing you’d love to have more fanfic/art about? As mentioned above, Ginny/Luna. But also more femslash in general would be pretty fantastic.

4. What’s your favourite villain in books and/or movies? I’m not a villain kind of lady, but maybe Umbridge? I don’t think anyone has ever given me as bad feelings as her, because she’s such a realistic villain in a lot of ways. She’s not caricature evil like Voldy or Sauron, but an everyday, self-involved, closed minded evil. And that’s a very effective kind of evil to hate.

5. Do you believe in supernatural phenomenons? No

6. You can have dinner with any person from history, who would you choose? This is kind of an impossible question. So many interesting persons through history. But, actually, I think I’d really have loved to have met my grandfather on my father’s side. My dad is quite old, so his dad was born in the late 1800s and died long before I was born, but he was a teacher and from the sound of it, incredibly foresighted and modern for a man of that time. Which are values he’s very much passed on to his sons. My dad is amazing. My grandfather was a teacher, and during the Nazi occupation of Norway during WW2, he was among those who lost their jobs because he refused to teach nazi ideology to his pupils. And this was in a small, working class industry town, and my dad has told so many fantastic stories about him. I’d love to have met him and talked to him.

7. Name three things you like about yourself :) While I’m pretty shy, I’m also kind of tough in some ways. I went to Japan without much of a plan and winged it as we went. I started playing rugby at age 27. I started singing in a choir I found by googling, where I didn’t know anyone. I wish that toughness spread to other sides of my life, but at least it’s something. I can sing, something which brings me immense joy. I have a pretty good memory, combined with wide spanning interests and curiosity, so I remember a lot of weird facts and random things.

8. Hogwarts era Drarry, yes or no? Depends. 8th year, post war/canon, yes. Canon divergence (other than ewe), mostly no.

9. What was the last thing you googled? The lyrics for some 1d songs for one of the questions further up :P

10. Favourite Harry Potter book? Hmmmmmmmmmm I don’t know? Maybe Prisoner of Azkaban? They’ve all had very profound effects on me though, so it’s like choosing a favourite child.

11. Favourite museum/gallery? I’ve seen a lot of amazing museum during my life, so that’s kind of impossible to answer as well. But maybe, for nostalgic reasons, Bryggens Museum in Bergen. Because my dad used to take me and my sister there sometimes during weekends when we were little, when my mum needed to sleep after a night shift at the hospital. And he’d tell stories and we’d look at the archaeological spots and the seasonal exhibits, and we’d get soda and cake in the museum café.

My questions:

1.     Do you have a song stuck in your head right now? Which one?

2.     Do you have any plans in the foreseeable future that you’re looking forward to?

3.     What’s your favourite place inside your house/flat?

4.     What hobbies do you have outside of fandom?

5.     Do you speak any languages besides your own?

6.     What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to?

7.     If you could meet the leader of your country and tell them whatever you wanted, and be guaranteed they’d listen to you, what would you say?

8.     What movie did you watch over and over as a child, and what was your favourite thing about it?

9.     What’s your favourite thing about each season through the year?

10. If you were to get a pet tomorrow, what would you call it and why?

11. How did you discover fanfiction?

[hgfstreamchats]

But I’m a Cheerleader

Avatar image thenightetc User joined room 22:50 Avatar image thenightetc Hello! 22:50 thenightetc here 22:51 Avatar image Thebes User joined room 22:51 Excellent! 22:51 Avatar image thenightetc There we go 22:51 Avatar image Thebes Present! 22:51 Avatar image thenightetc Aw, you get a little crown on yours. 22:51 11 Shirts For Marbles' 11th Birthday 22:52 Avatar image Thebes I can't even judge, I spoil my dogs like all hell 22:52 How dare you accuse me of dressing Impact's pandas up in little clothes?

Back! Back! Hooray! Wait, let's wait for Zepha Oh, good idea. And what a short wait it was! I'm here!! Also, word on the street is that rabbit's out of money and a few weeks from closing down. Oh, good idea. And what a short wait it was! I'm here!! Also, word on the street is that rabbit's out of money and a few weeks from closing down. Ugh of course it is Oh, damn. OH. RIGHT. I forgot about this. Something about my extensions/ad-block won't show the video on my end, just the audio Awww, no. Try another browser? I can only watch rabbit in chrome I tried that last time too, it wouldn't work on Chrome OR Firefox Last time I just had two of me in the room, one on the laptop and one on my tablet but my tablet's been dead for months Oh, damn... Oh, damn... Can you open the movie itself in another window and have both on at the same time? Lemme try Firefox again That's what I would do when livestream was so persistently bad NOPE. SAME DELIO Audio, no video UGH Do you want the timestamp? nah I'll figure it out. I'm gonna see if it'll work on my phone If you're sure! don't wait for me, I'll be fine! oh! subtitles! ALRIGHT I GOT IT Woo! Wonderful! Tiny screen but at least I can watch!! What a charmer. Honestly I come to these streams more for the company, commentary, and the lot of us joined in solidarity of our mockery/horror of the movie to begin with Could you turn the subtitles back on? Gladly. Sometimes it's a little hard to hear Thanks! Aaaand they're not synced. Yyyeah, never mind, then. Because Unicron forbid anything work tonight. ugh drives me NUTS when they do that I hope that's not how they announce that somebody's dead I am going to rip off my array and throw it at the wall. wait why are they doing this already I thought she was still in the closet at this point how would anyone know? I don't even think she realizes it. Is that her boyfriend there? wait... wow ... they brought in a conversion therapist based ENTIRELY on stereotypes??> Is that her boyfriend there? wait... wow ... they brought in a conversion therapist based ENTIRELY on stereotypes??> Apparently! Thread-THIN stereotypes??? wtf the irony of their logo having a rainbow in it Kelly looks fun. right? Gah. How do humans live like this? Wait is that Melanie Lynskey? HAH We don't yeah, even the state that created this kinda camp shut down all theirs after a few (horrible) decades 'Alright that's too much affection tone it back a bit' poor kid. Graham has absolutely no intention of giving into this life I mean, give into this life and it's a slippery slope to your life resembling 'Saving Christmas' ... gender identity and sexual orientation ARE NOT THE SAME THING MAN .... This was all so inevitable. of course actual conversion therapy is a legit dystopian torture-chamber nightmare Oh, no. Pants. A true nightmare NO PLEASE ANYTHING BUT THAT Yeah, why would they want to watch a bunch of sweaty, muscular men grappling with each other The time I watched my uncle watched UFC I commented after a few minutes 'wow this looks super gay' and my uncle FREAKED OUT AT ME FOR IT y'know the FIRST mistake was pairing these kids with a same-sex friend obviously feelings are going to develop in this atmosphere I mean, obviously They're the world's best matchmakers. LOLOLOLOL awwww ah ah ah a REAL lady does not CROSS her legs she only keeps her knees together, sometimes hooking her ankles together if she needs it awwwww awwwww TEMPTATION ohoho fake IDs! This is adorable. 'and then I realized dancing with that OTHER girl didn't make me happy and watching graham dance with a girl made me ANGRY so maybe there's hope for me!!' 'Oh wait no n/m' It's hard to resist sweet as pie. I certainly couldn't. Oh wow the actresses actually looked into it there's way too many actresses playing lesbians/wlw that look like they're obviously forcing it for the job jesus. god this movie is a nightmare It really is. honey no don't bring out th eblacklight *blacklight Ohhh dear psh he can't even say it Field trip to the Cocksucker, class! ...Wow 'YOU'RE choosing to cut US off' uGH Hah! 'Look how heterosexual we are' gah, creepy GAH yes let's put these underage teenages in sexual situations not creepy at all you girls gonna get snitched on d'aww this is the sincerest thing I've seen in this movie sofar :< :< uGH *SHUDDER* UGH. I can't get over this, adults forcing kids into this is so skeevy it really is Wait... That's Dante Basco!! HAH Nice And Mike is RuPaul. Wait WHAT Oh my god I didn't even recognize him at all Wild Isn't it? How did she not see THAT 'I can't lose daddy's money AWWWW HER PARENTS ACCEPTED HER AFTER ALL Awww! Well, good Even if the mom needs some more time She made it there, she'll come around. Progress is progress Well that was a thoroughly uncomfortable ride Humanity's hang-ups are a trip, aren't they Knock Out? A thoroughly uncomfortable trip! Let me dig up our light note. Yes Oh gosh yes please Yes, let's! I need a palette cleanser Wait this movie came out in 2000?! I mean judging by how young some of the actors I KNEW are I knew it had to be slightly oldre *older but I first saw the internet going crazy over this movie like, 2015 or so So I assumed it came out in 2010 or around that area at the EARLIEST noooope. but to be fair, you have to cast back to 1991 to find depictions of conversion therapy that... well. That. hashtag YIKES wooooooooow Ha! I like this girl Her sense of humour feels trustworthy god Jesus. (slowly looks at camera at that conclusion ) 'If you're unhappy about the quality of the video you just watched, complain to metro they'll write about it' AMAZING And one more quick one to really kick off pride month... I'M CRY ooh yes AHHHH YES what the fuck AHAHAHAHA ... ooh that's one thing that's nice about rabbit too I can CUSS I used to have to sensor my own cussing on Livestream Appalling. if I typed 'fuck' I'd have to type 'f*ck' or it would come up '****' Censorship just fucks everything up. Yes. Rabbit may be a butt that's about to die but at least we can say fuck Cling to that spar and don't let go. ALWAYS Yeah, the row of ****s just like... draws extra attention to it It makes it look worse! That's why I got into the habit of censoring myself Everyone knew EXACTLY what I was saying THAT way Well--as always, thank you for the stream. And thank you for coming, as always! It was certainly... a thing that's for sure! thanks for the stream! It's always wonderful when you can make it, zephra human. I'm glad I could today, my work schedule's a butt but say high to Breakdown and Impact for me! *hi Of course! Good night, everyone! Goodnight! 'Night guys!