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Writing Angry Scenes: Tips to Avoid Melodrama and Make It Real
Anger can be one of the most intense, relatable emotions to read—and one of the trickiest to write. When handled well, an angry scene can pull readers deep into the emotional world of a character, building tension and driving the story forward. But when handled poorly, anger can easily slip into melodrama, making the character’s feelings seem overblown, forced, or even cringe-worthy.
So how can you avoid these pitfalls and write anger that feels real and compelling? Here are some tips to make angry scenes powerful without overdoing it.
1. Understand What Fuels Your Character’s Anger
To write anger authentically, you need to understand its roots. People get angry for complex reasons—fear, frustration, betrayal, grief, and even love. Ask yourself what’s truly driving your character’s anger. Are they afraid of losing control? Do they feel abandoned or misunderstood? Are they hurt by someone they trusted? Anger rarely exists in isolation, so dig into the deeper emotions fueling it.
When you understand the core reasons behind a character’s anger, you can weave those nuances into the scene, making the anger more relatable and layered. Readers will feel the depth of the character's rage, not just the surface heat of it.
2. Show, Don’t Tell—But Don’t Overdo It
“Show, don’t tell” is classic writing advice, but it’s especially crucial in angry scenes. Don’t rely on generic phrases like “She was furious” or “He clenched his fists in anger.” Instead, look for unique ways to convey how this specific character experiences anger. Maybe their voice drops to a deadly calm, or their eyes narrow in a way that makes everyone around them uncomfortable.
That said, showing too much can backfire, especially with exaggerated descriptions. Over-the-top body language, excessive shouting, or too many “flaring nostrils” can tip the scene into melodrama. Use body language and physical cues sparingly and mix them with subtler reactions for a more realistic portrayal.
3. Use Dialogue to Reveal Hidden Layers
People rarely say exactly what they feel, especially when they’re angry. Angry dialogue isn’t just about yelling or throwing out insults; it’s an opportunity to show the character’s deeper thoughts and vulnerabilities.
Consider using controlled, icy responses or unexpected silences. Maybe your character says something hurtful in a low voice rather than screaming. They might express sarcasm, avoidance, or even laugh at the wrong moment. Anger often carries hidden layers, and using these nuances can help your character’s dialogue feel genuine, even haunting, without falling into dramatic clichés.
4. Control the Pacing of the Scene
The pacing of an angry scene can be the difference between a powerful moment and a melodramatic one. In real life, anger doesn’t always erupt instantly; it can simmer, spike, or deflate depending on the situation and the character’s personality. Experiment with different pacing techniques to create tension.
You might build the anger slowly, with small signs that something’s brewing. Or maybe the character explodes suddenly, only to calm down just as quickly, leaving a chill in the air. Controlling the pace helps you control the reader’s emotional engagement, drawing them in without overwhelming them.
5. Avoid Clichéd Expressions and Overused Reactions
When writing anger, avoid falling back on clichés like “seeing red,” “boiling with rage,” or “blood boiling.” These phrases have been overused to the point that they lose their impact. Instead, get creative and think about how your character’s anger might feel specifically to them.
Maybe their skin feels prickly, or their jaw aches from clenching it. Think about details that are unique to the character and to the moment. By focusing on small, unique sensory details, you’ll help readers feel the anger rather than just reading about it.
6. Let the Setting Reflect the Emotion
The setting can be an effective tool to amplify a character’s anger without overstating it. Small details in the environment—such as the hum of a refrigerator, the slow ticking of a clock, or the distant sounds of laughter—can create a sense of contrast or isolation that heightens the character’s rage.
For example, imagine a character seething in a peaceful park or a quiet library. The calm of the surroundings can make their anger feel more potent. Or maybe they’re in a crowded, noisy room where they feel unseen and unheard, which fuels their frustration further. This use of setting can add depth to the scene without the need for dramatic gestures.
7. Let Consequences Speak for Themselves
An effective way to avoid melodrama is to let the consequences of the anger show its intensity. Characters don’t always have to yell or physically react; sometimes, a single choice can convey more than any outburst.
Perhaps your character cuts off a close friend or says something they can’t take back. Maybe they throw away a meaningful object or walk out in silence. By focusing on the consequences of their anger, you can reveal the impact without over-explaining it.
8. Let the Emotion Simmer After the Scene Ends
Anger is rarely resolved in a single moment, and its effects often linger. When writing an angry scene, think about how it will affect your character moving forward. Are they holding onto grudges? Do they feel guilty or exhausted afterward? Does their anger transform into something else, like sadness or regret?
Allowing the anger to simmer in your character’s mind even after the scene ends creates a more authentic and layered portrayal. It shows that anger is complex and doesn’t just disappear the moment the scene is over, adding emotional weight to both the character and the story.
#writing tips#writing advice#character development#writers on tumblr#writeblr#creative writing#fiction writing#writerscommunity#writing#writing help#writing resources#ai assisted
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hi!!! i hope ur doing well>< can u do kinich with a shy s/o but get reaaally freaky in bed?
art creds: @ sumi_noth on x
warnings: p in v sex, anal penetration, afab!reader (no specified gender), consent king kinich, freaky ass reader, handcuff usage, blindfold usage, dirty talk kind of, but mostly praise, oral(?, eating you out),
he didn't expect your interests to be... different from your actions, or at least in public. your shy grasps on his arm if ever you were anxious, or the habit of standing in front of you to intimidate
or the flushed expression that danced across your cheeks when he complimented you. it could be the arm that grasped your waist when he knew you were uncomfortable.
well, whatever it was, it was cute in its own way.
but looking at you and comparing to then—are you really the same person...? maybe you have a secret twin!
"n- nngh! kin— pleasef- I wan' it s'bad!" you whined, feeling him strike your insides for the umpteenth time. he really didn't mind but he could see how shaky your legs were.
"y'sure? you're trembling, baby." "mmn, need more, please?"
he simply tilted his head, you looked tired. he doesn't care too much about himself since his stamina sustains for very long. but yours didn't.
he swore this little thing of yours lasted a week each month. always telling him how bad you needed him with those pleading eyes. he couldn't say no, that'd be mean!
"whatever you want, sweetheart."
he'd give you the world if possible, but he cares for your safety, so he does end up not going through with your feralness in bed. no matter how cute your whining and begging might be- he doesn't want to take advantage of the fact that you want all of him more than just seven rounds.
one time you asked him to cuff you to the bed, and he asked more than just five times. you.. want him to use his elemental skill to tie you to the bed post? is that really safe?
well, he wouldn't complain too much, pulling on the vine line like a leash if he just decided on cuffing them behind you, or grasping your hair while you take him from behind.
as long as you're okay with it ('till he notices you're visibly tired). he learns to know your limits as well, no more how freaky you are. cause he isn't with you for the sake of sex, but for you yourself.
these moments with you were just a bonus. and in which he very much treasured. oh well, back to the blurb of him slamming you from behind.
he likes positions where he sees your face better. the one he usually sees hiding in the strands of your hair, or in the softness of your palms. he promises he doesn't have a corruption kink or whatever but damn he loved the way your expression would distort to something so naughty. fuck, he needed this as much as you did.
the sounds he long sought after for back when you both weren't even together yet, he didn't want to admit- but he did fantasize this. how the lewd mewls would spill like a river from the beauty and softness of your mouth.
he couldn't help but groan right into the shell of your ear. instinctively his mouth moves, to praise you of course.
"doin' s'fuckin well for me sweetheart, just keep taking me in like that yeah?"
you could feel yourself clench at the very end of his sentence. fuck you didn't know praise could feel this good, his movements matched with the quick, lusty grunts he let out.
even when he placed the blindfold onto your pretty head. he missed your pretty eyes, the way they'd look at him with a pleading look. he could barely see how your eyebrows furrowed.
that's alright, he liked how you seemed so vulnerable, not knowing where to place your hands, and you can't predict what he'd do, or where his touch would land next (which was your entrance)
placing his lips onto the soft folds, licking you up and down with tease. hearing you moan and sob, asking him to stop edging and get to the point, but he doesn't really like when you're being a little bratty.
"take what i give you, or i'll leave you like this, 'kay?"
and you couldn't do anything but nod. his cold words sent shivers down your spine, combined with the kitty licks to your clit, the coldness of his ungloved palms that spread your legs apart, squeezing them every now and then.
really loves the way you taste though, loves how addicting it can get. you're the only drug he'd ever take.
once he's done "punishing" you, he goes right back to being the sloppy eater he is. his mouth basically attached itself to your soppy entrance.
doesn't matter if you're cumming or not—he laps everything up like a homeless man who's got food for the first time in forever.
he doesn't know what it is- maybe it's the scent, or is it truly the taste? maybe it could be the way it looks? or maybe how it feels? he doesn't get why he wants your essence so bad, but whatever magic it has he hopes it'll last him lifetimes (or at least last you a good orgasm)
overall is just "whatever you want, my love" and makes sure you get the best out of it! :)
#──── resin: performances#genshin impact x reader#genshin headcanons#genshin drabbles#genshin x reader#genshin fanfic#genshin impact scenarios#genshin impact imagines#genshin imagines#genshin impact#genshin impact fanfiction#genshin impact smut#genshin impact x you#genshin smut#genshin x female reader#genshin x gn reader#genshin x you#afab reader#afab!reader#x afab reader#smut#x reader#kinich smut#kinich x reader#genshin impact kinich#genshin kinich#kinich#kinich x reader smut#kinich x y/n#kinich x you
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maybes and sunscreen
college!sukuna masterlist
after almost a year of living together, you and college!sukuna are so accustomed to one another that you naturally slip up in the other’s conversations. maybe it's because you're both homebodies, or maybe it's because you've reached the silent agreement to keep the activities you do with yuuji hidden to preserve his innocent childhood (you learned that rumors run a long way inside your campus), or maybe it's because you started to ask sukuna less private questions, since he now seems to want to answer them even before you formulate them.
either way, the two of you always mention the other in conversations, and you don't even seem to notice, but your friends do.
"how about your house, man?" suguru asks sukuna from across the table, sipping his soda. they're sitting outside with satoru for lunch break, slouching on white plastic chairs, waiting for practice to start in less than ten minutes. days are getting longer the more summer break gets nearer, and the breeze flowing through the newly green leaves of the trees is a nice change from the humid stench of the locker rooms.
"dunno. the woman of the house is gonna bake cookies today," he shrugs, scrolling through his phone. he finds himself on a blurry zoomed in photo of a kitten covered in milk, and he smirks, hitting send after having selected your contact. you're going to love it.
"and?" geto asks, confused.
"and i don't know if she wants me to help her or not," sukuna continues, not bothering to look up from his screen, acting like he's not going to pester you until you let him help. and steal some of your cookie batter, too.
"it's the finale, bro, we've been talking about it since december. are you really not going to watch it for some cookies?" his raven haired friend exclaims, baffled. satoru only lowers his glasses on his nose, crossing his arms on his chest.
"oh, i'm going to watch it. got her hooked up on it too," the pink haired man says, a certain tilt to his voice matching the tilt of his head, as if he's saying are you crazy? i'm not missing it. "i don't know if she'd want you there, though."
geto rolls his eyes and satoru snickers, shaking his head. "we just want to watch the game on your tv. are you afraid she's going to feel uncomfortable with us there, my lord captain?" he mocks, sighing. lazily, sukuna glances his way.
"it's not her i'm worried about," he says, raising one of his eyebrows, maroon eyes squinting on a spot behind his friend's back.
"what does that even mean?" mutters geto, even more confused. it’s not like they’ve never seen you or have never been inside your house when you were there, so what’s different this time?
suddenly, sukuna grins like a madman, uncrossing his legs from on top of the table and standing up with his helmet under his arm.
“where are you goi-“ his dark haired friend starts, but satoru puts one of his hands on the other’s shoulder, effectively stopping him, whispering just wait.
sukuna takes a couple of steps, getting out of the gentle shadows of the trees above the table, still grinning.
“hi, baby. did you miss me so much you had to come to see me at practice?” he asks your nearing figure. you’re wearing a dress, the breeze soothingly flowing through your hair, and he takes a second to admire how graceful you look in the middle of the green garden. are the flowers you picked with yuuji the other day still fresh? maybe he should get more. maybe you’d like that. maybe you’d smile. maybe you'd thank him.
“i’m here because i knew you were never going to bring sunscreen with you, dickhead,” you huff, blowing your hair out of your vision, frowning. his grin only grows before he forces it away. typical.
“i don’t need that shit,” he rolls his eyes, turning on his heels and going towards the stadium. he knows you’re going to follow him. and you do.
“put it on! i’m not joking, sukuna,” you whine, trying to fall in step with him. “it’s going to be so good for your skin, come on.”
“it’s sticky and i don’t like feeling like a pussy,” he growls, going faster toward the benches inside the stadium and plopping down on them.
“you like pussy, though,” you shrug, forcing yourself between his parted legs, rummaging through your bag.
“i like you too, baby, but that doesn’t mean you’ll let me stick it in your pussy, does it,” he asks you smugly. you punch him on the shoulder, bewildered.
“you’re so disgusting,” you scoff, opening the little spf tube you brought in your purse just for him. "and don't tell me you like me when you never listen to me in the first place," you playfully add, caressing his face to smooth it out, and he lets you get his unruly hair off of his forehead. maybe he likes how you don't take the things he says to heart. maybe he just says them because he knows he's getting a snarky comment back.
“you didn’t say no, though,” he chuckles, closing his eyes and letting himself bask in your presence. your touch on his features is relaxing. he honestly thinks he could fall asleep if you were in any other setting.
“i’m letting you talk just because i’m in a male dominated field and even if i don’t agree i don’t want to die,” you deadpan. you smear the white cream on his nose, on top of the horizontal tattoo, and massage it into his skin. then you do the same thing with his other markings, making sure they’re protected enough to shimmer in the blazing hot sun.
“i wouldn’t let you die on me anyway,” he mutters. he gets both of his hands on your exposed thighs, keeping you closer, softly rubbing his thumbs in your muscles. "are you fucking finished? i hate this," he bites, frowning. you hum, lazily smiling down at him, rubbing his frown away with your fingertips.
"you're going to be the prettiest girl on the field," you coo. you can feel his mean glare from beneath his eyelids, and you almost shiver. "you're so going to thank me in a couple of years," you add, resting your palms on his cheeks and turning his head up. he opens his eyes slowly, staring into yours intently. his thumb catches on the fluttering hem of you dress while he draws little circles on your legs. he hears his coach screaming for his team to start running, but in this moment, he doesn't care that much. maybe the heat is getting to his head. maybe the soft smile you're looking at him with is making him a little bit weak in the knees.
"wanna make cookies today? we can watch the match together, perhaps ask the brat if he wants to join too," he says, rough voice kept low, almost as if this was a you and him kind of thing. maybe he already planned to ask you to do something with him when he was talking to his friends just a couple of minutes ago. maybe he lied, telling them you were the one who chose to do something, when it's not true. maybe the way satoru is patting suguru on the back with an "i told you so" look on his face isn't casual. maybe the one he was worried about all along was himself.
"wouldn't you prefer to watch it with your friends?" you ask him, tilting your head, positioning your thumbs on the fake tattoos on his cheekbones. almost as if you could cover their pupils and make him see less.
"wouldn't you prefer to watch it with me?" he genuinely responds, a somber look on his features. you think it's the first time he doesn't have a mocking grin on his lips. you ruffle the pink hair just above his left ear.
"maybe."
#college au#sukuna x reader#sukuna fluff#ryomen sukuna#ryomen sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna x y/n#sukuna x you#sukuna jjk#jjk x y/n#jjk fics#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk fanfic
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what you know - ch1: fallen angel || r. sukuna
❦ ryomen sukuna x f!reader [college au] [ongoing series]
❝ you've heard his reputation and you've seen first-hand the way he's late to class if he even bothers to show up. paired with him for the most important project of the year, you choose to give him the benefit of the doubt- but maybe that's more than he deserves when your perfect grades depend on him, or maybe there's more to the aloof and irritable sukuna than meets the eye. ❞
❦ cw ; mdni, 18+ only. contains explicit sexual themes and content. use of alcohol. use of cannabis. use of nicotine/cigarettes. angst. hurt/no comfort. hurt/comfort. implied injury. family trauma. smut. slow burn. tags will be updated as series continues.
❦ additional tags ; college parties and themes. sukuna ooc warning as this is a realistic take on modern sukuna. reader is fairly preppy and implied to be smaller than sukuna, but he's 6"11.
❦ words ; 12.1k.
main masterlist || series masterlist || next chapter - coming soon
You make a point of not judging a book by its cover. So, when paired with the college’s resident bad boy for the literal most important project of the year, you just nod to yourself. Of course, you’re aware of his very poor attendance record among other things you’ve heard about him. At the end of the day, the rest is all hearsay, so you’ll treat him the same as you would any other group project partner.
Searching around the lecture hall until your gaze lands on him, you shoot him a kind smile. You don’t expect him to return it, he practically always sports a disinterested or aloof expression and now is one of those times, it would seem. He’s wearing his usual oversized but fairly stylish shirt, baggy cargo pants and a leather jacket, even though it’s quite warm inside. One airpod sits in his ear, only half paying attention.
The two of you are practically polar opposites. You, who shows up to class ten minutes early, jots down every note you possibly can, and turns in projects a week early, not to mention your fairly preppy style, makes the two of you about as different as it gets. On top of that, there were moments where Sukuna would dip into a room late and you would wonder why he bothers paying for college at all. Does he even want to be here?
Turning back to your laptop, you decide you’ll set up some documents for your project to get ahead of everything and stop worrying about someone else’s life. You’ll just have to make the most of the project. Besides, Sukuna could be the best project partner you’ll ever work with.
Upon dismissal, you wait a moment for the room to clear before slinging your pale pink bag over your shoulder, holding your books to your chest and making your way up the lecture hall to where Sukuna’s seated.
“Hey, nice to meet you, I’m-”
“I know who you are,” he sighs. “I’m Sukuna.”
Rude. “Right,” you swallow, blinking twice as you attempt to clear your mind of the less than ideal first impression. “So, I was thinking since we need to analyze three paintings, I can choose one, you can choose one and we can do the work separately and then work together on the last one-”
“Sure, whatever.”
You purse your lips. That was easy. Or does he just not care? Brushing off the thought, you nod slowly. “Okay. Great,” you mumble somewhat nervously, unsure if the reason your voice is wavering is out of fear that you’re doomed from the project, or the fact that Sukuna is hardly giving you the time of day and it’s somewhat imposing.
Finding the nerve to meet his gaze, you find that it seems he’s barely paying attention. His deep near-crimson eyes accented by tattoos are trained off to the side, one hand in his pocket and the other is fiddling with an unlit cigarette. You have half a mind to wonder if he’s heard a damn thing you’ve said given the airpod still hanging from his pierced lobe.
“Do you, um,” you worry your lip between your teeth as you mentally reset to stop yourself from stammering. “Do you want to go over anything before we do our parts?”
“Nah.”
Nah? Oh my god, you’re doomed.
“Okay. No problem. Um, why don’t we just meet after class next Friday?”
Sukuna balances the unlit cigarette between his lips, shuffling to pull out his phone and open his calendar. “Sure,” he agrees, his words muffled by the cigarette.
“Great! I think we’ll want to start working on the third piece next week so I’ll choose the first painting and get started on it and then we can choose the last painting next week,” you say, putting the date in your calendar as well. “Oh! And we should exchange numbers.”
He hums in agreement, not even giving you the time for words now but he does give you his number. Realizing you aren’t about to get anywhere else with him, you shoot him a wry smile and make your way out the door.
Oh Shoko is so gonna hear about this.
–
Before you know it, next Friday comes around and when you turn your gaze to where Sukuna usually sits, you realize he just isn’t there.
Well that’s… lovely.
Leaning forward on your elbows, you groan with your face in your hands. This project was sure to be a nightmare at this rate. You could already see yourself going to talk to the professor about how Sukuna hadn’t done an ounce of work and it was all done by you.
Opening your laptop, you stare at the document you’d put together for Persistence of Memory, which may be an obvious choice but you love the painting too much to choose a different one.
Maybe you should just choose the third one on your own.
Maybe you should just choose the second one on your own…
Fuck.
You sigh, glancing back at Sukuna’s empty seat once more, and to your surprise just as you begin to give up hope upon seeing his seat empty, he ambles through the door in an oversized hoodie and sweats as though the lecture didn’t end fifteen minutes ago.
His gaze meets yours and he tilts his chin upwards at you, a silent message for you to take a seat near him.
Gathering your belongings, you take your laptop over to him, setting it on the table beside him in the mostly-empty lecture hall.
“Hey,” you greet him, receiving a grunt in response. “I was starting to think you were gonna flake out on me,” you joke with a somewhat nervous laugh when you meet his striking gaze. His disinterested eyes bore into you as he examines your nervous expression, and it’s then that you notice that- “are you okay?”
He sighs, heavy with exasperation, running a hand over his sharp features. His hair is still damp, not spiked up as usual as it hangs over his forehead, he has dark circles that make him look like he hasn’t slept in years, and his leg is shaking up and down like he’s got somewhere else to be.
“I’m fine,” he grumbles, unimpressed that you’ve noticed how horribly disheveled he looks, but he brushes it off. “You got somethin’ to show me?”
“I, um-” you pause, casting him one last uncertain glance at the fact that oh my god, he looks sick? “Yeah, so I chose a Salvador Dalì piece,” you tell him, nudging your laptop towards him so that he can see your analysis.
He casts a glance at it, and it’s then that you realize that he doesn’t seem to have a laptop on him. Hm.
He seems to have noticed your confusion as he pulls out his phone, fiddling with it for a moment or two before setting it in front of you. “Had to do something before our meeting, so I don’t have my computer right now, but here’s what I’ve got so far.”
You flash him a curious glance before staring at his phone screen, reading through his notes quietly. The Fallen Angel painted by Alexandre Cabanel. You can’t say you’re shocked, but it’s a good choice. His analysis is short and needs more detail, but it’s a good start and fairly insightful. Sukuna lacks elegance with his words, but this is just the research phase anyway. Okay, not a bad start.
Maybe this won’t be so bad.
To your surprise, although he’s mostly quiet, he gives you some input on your analysis and hums in agreement when you ask him to write a bit more in certain areas to match your research. He doesn’t even seem that bothered by it, only mildly inconvenienced. You would almost argue that he was agreeable if you couldn’t feel the side-eye you were receiving from him.
When you finally settle on C. Allan Gilbert’s All is Vanity for your final piece, Sukuna excuses himself quite quickly and makes his way out, grunting in agreement when you ask him to meet you at the same time next week. You had hoped to get some research done with him but this would have to do, and hopefully you would have more time next week.
Only… when next week comes, he doesn’t show. You lean over the desk where Sukuna usually sits, figuring maybe he’s just late again, but as the clock rolls past the thirty minute mark, you begin to lose hope. Tapping your fingers rhythmically over the desk as you stare at the clock, you resign to texting him.
3:39 PM || You: hey! just wondering if youre on your way
Another twenty minutes of staring at the sent text does you no good and you can’t really get much done without Sukuna’s portion, so with a sigh, you push yourself up and call Shoko to go out with you. At least now you can make the most of your Friday night, even if it’s a bit earlier than intended.
–
“He just completely no-showed, huh?”
“Not even a text,” you confirm with a groan, keeping your attention on the road as you make your way to the bar by Shoko’s house. The afternoon sun glints on the windshield of your car, warming the interior of the vehicle rather comfortably for the early autumn day.
“Can’t say I’m surprised,” Shoko hums at the thought.
“I really wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, I mean honestly his research wasn’t too bad,” you sigh, casting a glance at your best friend.
“Could still be salvageable. Maybe try asking him what works for him?” She suggests with a shrug, leaning back in her seat as she stares blankly out the windshield.
“I don’t know. I think if I leave things up to him, he just won’t do it.”
“Oh, because he’s been so good at showing up when you organize things?” She chides with a raised brow.
You suppose you can’t really argue with that, so you groan in response. “At least he has a good taste in art.”
“Yeah?”
“A little edgy, but yeah. He chose The Fallen Angel, you know the one that-” you pause, moving your arm over your face to mimic the famous painting while keeping your eyes on the road and one hand on the wheel.
“Oh yeah, I think I know the one,” she agrees with a chuckle at your description. “I think I’ve seen-” she pauses as your car comes to a slow halt at a stop light. You shoot her a questioning glance when she remains quiet. “Speak of the devil. Isn’t that him?”
“Sukuna?” You question, leaning forward to catch a glimpse of whatever Shoko’s looking at.
Sure enough, the pink-haired man in question is on the sidewalk along with two young kids. He seems frustrated, his hand flying in the air in obvious exasperation and you wonder what his relation to them is. Your first thought is that they could be his, but the older of the two kids is just a bit too old to make that assumption.
Still, you didn’t take Sukuna as someone enthusiastic at the thought of being a babysitter.
“Shit, that is him,” Shoko confirms for herself. When the light turns green, the car jolts forward as you pull through a lane abruptly to turn and grab street parking very suddenly. “Woah, what are you-? You can’t be serious.”
“I-” your words die in your throat. Are you serious? What are you doing? It’s not like you’re friends. Are you here to confront him about not showing up? No, you aren’t really even mad, just frustrated at most. Your mind flashes back to how he’d looked the week before, like he could pass out at any moment, and you wonder if you’re here out of concern. “I don’t know,” you mumble, parking your car and hopping out.
“You are serious,” she mutters more to herself than you as she watches you leave the car with a sigh, following a short distance behind you.
The day is relatively warm for the early fall, the sun shining high overhead and providing a comfortable escape from the brisk breeze. Leaves are losing their vibrant green colors overhead, replaced with beautiful hues of yellows, oranges, and reds, and the sound of them rustling in the breeze is refreshing.
From around the corner, you can just barely make out Sukuna’s words. You were right to assume he was frustrated.
“Give it back to your brother,” he instructs, his voice a near-growl, but as the younger of the two kids whines in complaint, you can tell neither kid seems all that intimidated even by the almost seven-foot-tall man made of pure muscle who towers over them.
“No!”
“C’mon brat, I don’t have time for this,” he hisses out, voice rife with irritation. As you round the corner, lightly jogging up to Sukuna, you watch his gaze slowly turn to land on you and Shoko, his eyes widening for a moment as his expression shifts to surprise. For a moment you even think you see horror flash through his eyes, but he masks it all with his usual disinterested expression before you have time to think much about it.
“Sukuna?”
“That’s me,” he grumbles, running a hand through his tousled hair in exasperation.
“Hi! I’m Yuji!” The younger of the two boys bounds up to you, blatantly ignoring Sukuna as he waves to Shoko behind you.
You grin at him, kneeling down to his height as you greet him with your name. His eyes are filled with delight and as you get back to your feet, you put the pieces together. These must be Sukuna’s little brothers. Although the older of the two doesn’t particularly look like him, the youngest is a near carbon copy of Sukuna, only lacking his tattoos, piercings, and his signature attitude.
“What a cutie,” you coo at the little boy, who can’t be any older than five. The older of the two boys doesn’t resemble Sukuna in the same way Yuji does, with sunken eyes and unkempt long brown hair, he looks to be about eleven… and he also looks like he’s about to burst into tears.
“Don’t feed his ego,” Sukuna huffs, watching you interact with Yuji with his hands shoved in his pockets.
“Look! Look!” Yuji excitedly holds his hands out to you. You recognize an old GameBoy in his hands, something you’re sure you have hidden away somewhere in your own apartment from your childhood.
“I had one of those when I was young,” you tell him, glancing up at Sukuna whose left brow slowly raises.
“Really? Do you like Pokemon?”
“Yuji, that’s enough. Leave her alone and give it back to your brother,” Sukuna instructs, his frustration laced within his words.
“No! Choso’s playing it wrong,” he argues.
Sukuna looks like he’s about to burst. If he were a balloon, he’d be floating dangerously close to a pin, and it’s in that moment that you finally get a good look at him. If you thought he looked sickly last week, he looks like he’s about to collapse now.
His eyes are sunken, skin pale, and although he’s making an effort to mask it, his focus seems as though it’s drifting while he simply stands there. His hair is disheveled in a way that doesn’t look intentional and there’s a stain on the abdomen of his shirt. Which, to your surprise, is also a uniform for a local food distribution warehouse. He’s wearing cargo pants, steel-toed boots, and a blue polo shirt. It’s a strange look for him, but you’re more concerned about the fact that he seems to be swaying, he’s so tired.
“I wasn’t playing it wrong!” Choso argues back, leaping at his brother as they get into a scuffle, and it’s barely a split second before Yuji is in tears alongside Choso.
“Fucking-” Sukuna cuts himself off, taking a step forward.
Instinctively, you step in before Sukuna needs to. “Hey, hey!” You coo softly, leaning back down to them. “Why don’t you both play together?” Yuji’s sobs don’t stop at your suggestion, although Choso backs away from the younger boy, listening to what you have to say with a heartbreakingly sad expression over something so simple. Life was so much easier at their age.
“How?” Yuji asks through sobs.
“Why don’t you take turns? It’s Pokemon, right?” You ask, earning a nod from Yuji as he sniffles and wipes his face, his sleeve absolutely covered in tears and snot already. “Why don’t you pass it over between each battle?”
Yuji stares at you skeptically, as though the little boy cannot possibly fathom sharing. Choso quietly waits for his brother to come to a conclusion as his sniffles subside, all the while Sukuna just watches the entire scene unfold with a furrowed brow.
“Okay,” Yuji finally agrees in a small voice. “But I go first!”
To your surprise, Choso seems fine with this as they both crowd around the game.
When you stand back up, you’re happy to find that Sukuna looks absolutely relieved.
“Fuck, thought I’d never hear the end of that,” he mumbles, making you wonder if that’s his begrudging way of thanking you.
You chuckle quietly, crossing your arms over your chest with a small shrug. “I’m good with kids,” you tell him. He eyes you for a moment, humming, but doesn’t say anything. After a brief silence, you glance back up at him to find the tall man’s tired gaze still boring into you.
“Ask,” he instructs.
Your brow raises. “Ask?”
“You wanna ask where I was today, right?”
That obvious, huh? “I did wait for an hour.”
A hint of a smirk graces his lips as he snidely comments, “y’know, I’m sure I’ve had other women wait longer.” You aren’t sure how he expects you to react, but the way you raise a brow and don’t entertain his lewd implications clearly doesn’t encourage him to continue. His tongue pokes the inside of his cheek as he clicks his tongue and turns his head away from you. “Had to pick up a shift at work. Was gonna text but the little brat broke my phone yesterday.”
“Sorry, Kuna,” Yuji’s voice is small as you realize he’s been listening the whole time now that Choso is holding the GameBoy. His cheeks are puffy and red still from crying, but god he sure is a mini Sukuna.
“Kunaaaa?” You coo teasingly at the absolutely adorable nickname.
“He can’t say my name,” Sukuna grumbles, suppressing his irritation as best as he can, given that you did save him from further arguments with his brothers and he did already test his limits with you anyway. Still, his nose wrinkles in distaste at the nickname as he stares at the ground with a huff.
“That’s so cute!” You practically squeal, eyes bright as you grin at the hulking mass of anger and maybe even embarrassment as his cheeks heat up before your eyes.
“Shut up,” he hisses, still avoiding your gaze.
“It’s alright, by the way. We can figure out another time to meet.”
“Yeah, whatever. I’ll text-” he cuts himself off, blinking at the realization that he has no phone. “I’ll email you or some shit.”
“Email. Right,” you sarcastically tease with a tilt of your head. A muscle in Sukuna’s jaw visibly twitches and he huffs.
“Take it or leave it.”
You raise your hands in the air defensively, unable to help your amused smile. As silence falls over the both of you, interrupted only by Choso’s quiet commentary to Yuji about their game, you let your expression morph to one of concern again. Your lips part to ask if Sukuna’s alright, but he beats you to it.
“I’m fine.” His voice is low and strained and you both know you don’t believe him.
“You look it,” you challenge him sarcastically.
Sukuna’s jaw tenses as he stares you down as if daring you to challenge him again. Luckily for him, you’re willing to let it go.
“Do you guys need a ride somewhere?” You ask, glancing back in the direction of your car. Shoko is probably itching to get to the bar, though surely she won’t mind your offer given that the man in front of you looks like he could melt into a puddle if it only meant he could sleep.
“No.”
“Yeah!”
Sukuna and Yuji stare at one another as they both respond at the same time.
“No. We’re fine,” Sukuna growls, narrowing his eyes at the young boy.
“I don’t wanna walk anymooooore,” Yuji complains, shooting Choso a pleading look. Catching on, Choso shoots Sukuna a pair of puppy dog eyes. God the two of them are just adorable.
“No, both of you. Cut it out. Now.” Sukuna’s voice drops an octave as he hisses the last word.
“I really don’t mind,” you say quietly, leaning closer to him in an attempt to keep your words between the two of you.
“I don’t need your help,” Sukuna protests, taking a step towards you with massive muscular arms folding over his chest as his polo shirt is pulled taut from the movement.
“So if I give you a little push, you won’t fall over and pass out?”
“No.” He scowls defensively as he stares back at his two brothers, not noticing the way you slowly reach your hand out before shoving him lightly. He sways backwards slightly, catching himself before he actually does fall over as he swats at your hand. “Fucking- What the fuck is wrong with you?” He grouses, voice dripping with irritation and anger, although it doesn’t reach his eyes. He just looks tired.
“Let me drive you where you need to go and I’ll stop,” you taunt, moving your hand forward to shove him again.
Now paying attention, he grabs your wrist before you can push him. “Christ, you’re almost as much of a brat as my brothers,” he huffs, fiery eyes hyper-focused on your cheerful demeanor in spite of the fact that he’s been nothing short of snappy with you since you first showed up. “You’ll stop because I said so, not because I’m agreeing, got that?”
You shrug, shooting him a smile that says you won. “Whatever you say, Sukuna.”
He drops your wrist with a dramatic sigh before ushering his brothers after you as you turn to make your way back to your car.
“Can’t say I know what just happened,” Shoko whispers in your ear as she walks alongside you to your car. “But I’m surprised he agreed.”
“I’m not. He’s barely awake,” you tell her as you both cast a glance back at him. He doesn’t seem to notice as he bickers with his brothers, telling them to keep up if they want a ride from you.
“Yeah, he looks like shit,” she chuckles with a shake of her head. Never one to beat around the bush, but she is right.
Unlocking your car, you open the back door as Sukuna lifts his youngest brother into the backseat, grumbling about the two boys needing to behave before he climbs in himself, completely blocking your view through your rearview mirror.
He huffs and puffs as he gives you his address, choosing not to say a word throughout the ride as he listens to you chat with Shoko, muttering only the occasional “cut it out” or “stop that, brat” to one of his brothers.
Rolling up to what you assume is his apartment, you put the car in park and turn your attention back to the boys, putting on your best radio voice.
“Thank you for riding, please exit to your left and have a greeeeeat day!” You earn a sweet laugh from Yuji and a calm smile from Choso for your antics. You can practically feel Sukuna’s exasperation as it comes off of him in waves, clearly done with the world for the day, but you don’t miss the silent relief gleaming in his eyes.
“What do you say?” Sukuna gruffs, nudging the youngest of his brothers who you’re obviously putting on the show for.
“Thank you, miss!” He grins brightly as Sukuna opens the door and lowers him to the ground. He hands Choso a pair of keys, nudging them along to the door of the run-down building. To your surprise, he shuts the door and comes around to your side, knocking on the window.
You tilt your head as you roll down the window.
“Thanks…” he trails off as though the word is sour on his tongue, shooting a glance at Shoko in a silent gesture of thank you to her as well.
“No problem. Go get some sleep,” you tell him softly. Frustration flashes through his eyes as you tell him what to do but he’s not about to lash out at the person responsible for his grade who also gave him a ride home. Even he’s not that much of an asshole.
He sets a hand on your hood, pausing for a moment before he runs a hand through his hair, causing it to stick up more than it already was. “Do me a favor and don’t mention this to anyone, yeah?”
You tilt your head, exchanging a glance with Shoko as he looks between the two of you. “Yeah. No problem.”
His hand slides off your car as he rounds the vehicle to follow after his brothers. He pauses to cast a glance at you, before pushing into the front lobby of his apartment building and out of sight.
Silence falls over both you and Shoko as you watch the tattooed man disappear into the building when Choso holds the door open for him.
“That was fucking weird,” Shoko comments.
“Hm?” You hum as you pull out of the apartment, unsure of what she means. Of course Sukuna would have a life Shoko had never thought about, it’s not like they were close, you aren’t sure what she was expecting.
“He wasn’t a complete dick.”
Shooting Shoko a confused glance, you purse your lips. “Is he known for that? I thought he was just a bit of a delinquent.”
“Yeah, that too, but he’s pretty well-known for being snappy with people and snarky to profs.”
“Oh,” you blink twice in thought, keeping your eyes on the road. “I don’t know. He’s pretty quiet in Art History, this project is the first time I’ve ever talked to him. I figured I’d give him the benefit of the doubt.”
“Huh,” Shoko shrugs, “guess you’re on his good side, then.” She sighs, leaning back in her seat once again. “Oh well, you have blackmail on him anyway, so there’s no way he’s bailing on you now,” she grins with a teasing smirk.
Your eyes widen and you move your elbow to nudge her. “Absolutely not, and don’t you think about it either!”
Shoko chuckles, though you know she wouldn’t anyway. Much like you, she’s too kind to spill Sukuna’s secrets to the school, regardless of her opinions or thoughts on him.
–
As you return home from the bar late that night with a comfortable buzz that had left you needing to keep your car at the bar overnight, you pour yourself a glass of water and open your laptop on your bed, letting it boot up while you change into an oversized cozy beige hoodie with little bows adorning the sleeves.
Pulling the sleeves of the hoodie down over your hands and throwing on a pair of shorts, you run a hand through your hair and log into your laptop, pulling it onto your lap to browse social media, when something catches your eye.
You don’t pay much attention to your email inbox most of the time. Maybe you should, after all the college sends you a fair amount of emails and you’ve missed some in the past, but what catches your eye is certainly not from the faculty.
It’s a response to the document you sent Sukuna via email last week.
Oh shit, he was serious about sending you an email.
Maybe it’s because you're drunk, or maybe it’s because the idea of the nearly seven foot tall tattooed man who you’d watched leave class once just to smoke sending you an email of all things is a truly funny thought, but you snicker to yourself as you open it.
[email protected] - Saturday, 1:17 AM hey. you around this weekend
Your snicker turns to a full laugh as you read the message. You can’t decide if the message feels like a sad attempt at a booty call, an old man attempting to text via email, or an embarrassing attempt to save his bruised ego since he can’t text you.
You’d learned from Shoko at the bar earlier that Sukuna has quite the reputation. Supposedly he’s known for bringing a woman home at every party, for being able to smooth talk his way into the bedroom in spite of his usually grumpy and ill-mannered demeanor, and for being able to always get what he wants even though he has a reputation for being an asshole. So it’s hard not to laugh when that same man is the one who just sent you the most awkward email. At one in the morning. On a Saturday.
Oh my god.
[email protected] - Saturday, 2:12 AM Hey Sukuna! I’m around tomorrow afternoon and all day Sunday. Did you have time to work on the project?
You hit send and shut your laptop, deciding to brush your teeth and begin getting ready to get some rest. Taking off your makeup and brushing your hair, you finish up your nighttime routine and decide on a whim to see if your project partner has responded to you.
Getting under the covers and leaning against the headboard of your bed, you open your laptop again. To your surprise, your inbox has gone up by one.
[email protected] - Saturday, 2:19 AM cool. come by mine tomorrow whenever
You snicker to yourself as you read the message again. He’s certainly not fighting either the sad booty call or old man texting via email allegations.
[email protected] - Saturday, 2:23 AM Had to leave my car at the bar, did you wanna come by my place?
To your surprise, it’s only a couple of minutes later when he replies.
[email protected] - Saturday, 2:25 AM uhhh i gotta watch over the brats
[email protected] - Saturday, 2:26 AM Bring them!! They’re so cute :)
You can practically feel his irritated grumbles through the screen when not even a minute later he responds.
[email protected] - Saturday, 2:26 AM fine. address and time
With a satisfied smile, you let him know to drop by at two in the afternoon and send him your address before shutting your laptop.
As you lay down in bed, you can’t help but wonder what a strange little world you’ve somehow managed to squeeze your way into. Sukuna’s world. Maybe it’s because he’s easy to tease, maybe it’s the undeniable fact that he’s a good looking guy, or maybe it’s the fact that he’s actually surprised you more than once now and you’re somewhat enjoying the project more than you initially thought you would, but you can’t help but find yourself fascinated by him.
Come to think of it, you wonder if maybe Shoko’s comment has something to do with it. You think back to the way that she mentioned that he was oddly agreeable and, well, not a dick, and you wonder if it’s a curiosity to get to know this side of Sukuna that no one seems to know that compels you to be laying in bed at two in the morning thinking about the situation.
Regardless, you fall asleep with a calm little smile.
–
Glancing at the clock, you have half a mind to wonder if Sukuna will actually show up. Sure, he was the one who reached out, but maybe you should have just bussed to your car rather than waiting on Shoko to drive you to it and gone to his place on your own given that you can’t text him to ask where he is and it’s almost two thirty in the afternoon.
You could email him.
No… no. You aren’t about to email him.
You almost laugh to yourself at the thought.
Returning to your coffee, you keep at your work, refining your notes until you have something you think you can confidently write a full thesis about, when finally there’s a buzz at your door.
Speak of the devil. You buzz him up and there's a knock at your apartment door a few moments later.
“Cut that out,” Sukuna hisses practically the moment you open the door. You raise a brow at him and he sighs. “The brat, not you,” he clarifies, nudging Yuji.
You shoot him a sweet smile, suppressing a chuckle. Sukuna is dressed in a leather jacket, a plain white V-Neck and a pair of ripped jeans. In comparison to his usual baggy cargo pants and hoodie, he almost seems like he’s dressed up a bit and you can’t help but smile at the thought. More importantly though, the dark circles beneath his eyes are just a bit faded in comparison to when you had spotted him yesterday and you can tell he was able to get a bit of rest.
Yuji is excitedly looking up at you and attempting to tug on Sukuna’s hand while Choso stands behind his brother silently, his expression neutral.
“Hey guys, c’mon in.” You grin as you open the door for them, watching Yuji bound in ahead of his older brothers. He begins looking around with wide eyes, so full of wonder and excitement that you can’t help but smile.
“Such sweet kids,” you comment as Sukuna stands beside you, sighing as both brothers practically run to the sofa, looking around your little apartment excitedly.
“Yeah, whatever.”
You giggle at Sukuna, nudging him playfully. The glare he shoots you as he grunts seems to lack the usual malice his expressions hold and he runs a hand through his well-groomed hair, motioning for you to lead the way.
You show him to your little desk at the back of the apartment, pulling up a kitchen chair for yourself as you give him your office chair. He silently obliges, sitting down with his legs spread.
“One moment,” you mumble, heading into your room briefly before reappearing with none other than your old GameBoy, complete with a copy of Pokemon Ruby. Sukuna’s gaze is tethered to you and although his expression doesn’t change, you see surprise flash across his crimson irises as you walk up to the boys, kneeling in front of them.
“Choso, do you want to use my old GameBoy?” You ask the brown-haired young man, holding it out to him. His eyes are wide with surprise as Yuji’s jaw drops open. Choso nods, not saying a word as he flips the device and eyes the game. If it’s even possible, his eyes widen further and he smiles shyly.
“Are you sure?”
“More than sure. I bet there’s some neat Pokemon on that file,” you tell him.
The two boys exchange a grin and Choso thanks you profusely as he turns on the system.
“No problem. There’s a TV in my room, why don’t you two hang out in there and you don’t need to listen to your brother and I talk about boring art, hm?”
Yuji nods excitedly, bounding to his feet and grabbing your hand. Your heart swells at the action as you lead him and Choso to your room and hand them the remote. It takes all of a moment for both of them to begin bickering about what to watch, though you notice their arguments are fairly one-sided, with Choso being much quieter than his younger brother.
Leaving the two of them to their own devices, you make your way back out to Sukuna, who’s set his laptop on your desk and draped his jacket over the back of his chair. He’s wearing a white band tee with a deep V-neck for a metal band you aren’t familiar with, though the sleeves are torn off. With arms crossed over his chest and tattooed muscular arms on display, it’s undeniable just how attractive he is.
The real surprise is when he turns his head to look at you and his sharp eyes are, strangely, filled with… well you aren’t quite sure. Uncertainty? Confusion?
You subtly tilt your head when you take a seat on the kitchen chair beside him. His chair spins to face you as he examines you.
“Is something wrong?”
Sukuna’s adam's apple bobs as he swallows, before shaking his head. “Nah. Let’s just get this shit over with,” he grumbles, opening his laptop and turning his research document towards you. He’s clearly taken a look at yours, because his notes are in a similar format and he has about as much written as you, not to mention he’s put some work into research on the third painting you two had chosen.
Your brows raise as you read through it. “Wow, this is really good.”
He scoffs. “Don’t sound so shocked.”
You chuckle in embarrassment. “I didn’t mean to come off that way, I just-” you pause, leaning back in your chair. Aside from the subtle sounds of Pokemon and the TV in the background, the only sound that breaks the silence as you pause is the squeaking of your chair. “I don’t know. When you were late and then you just didn’t show up, I…” you trail off, not wanting to accuse him of something that clearly isn’t true.
“You assumed the worst.”
Your mouth opens but any words you had in your defense die on your tongue, casting your glance to the side as you search for something, anything, to explain your thought process. No matter what way you try to word it, you’re definitely the bad guy here.
“It’s fine. Everyone does.”
Your brow furrows but before you can ask what he means, Choso is surprising you as he taps on your arm. You turn your attention to the young boy, who’s looking up at you with gleaming eyes.
“You have Rayquaza,” he states, arms outstretched to show you a serpentine creature on the GameBoy.
Your curiosity twists to easy mirth as you smile at him. “I guess I do, huh?”
Choso’s arms fall back down in front of him as he stares down at the Pokemon. His eyes flicker up to you briefly, then back down. “You have Groudon too.”
You can’t help your amused laugh. He’s such a sweet and shy little boy, but he talks just like Sukuna. Straight to the point, blunt, and rather short. He may not look like Sukuna like Yuji does, but his speech is just like his older brother’s.
“Leave her alone,” Sukuna mumbles gruffly from beside you. Choso smiles up at him before bounding back to your room. You can hear the two of them gearing up to play the games together from across the apartment, the game’s music heard in mismatched double as they both turn up the volume.
Turning back to Sukuna, your trail of thought is completely gone. “What was I saying?”
“You got any music? The brat’s game’s been drivin’ me crazy,” Sukuna mutters. “Yuji broke my laptop’s speakers,” he sighs.
“He’s on a hot streak for breaking things, huh?” You giggle.
“Don’t get me started.”
You turn in your seat, pointing towards the wall where a table sits with a fairly nice record player on it, and a shelf of records. They’re organized by artist and their sleeves range from new-looking to clearly well-loved.
Getting to his feet, Sukuna follows to where you point, curiously staring at the spines of the records. He’s not exactly shocked by most of the choices, but a few of them do stand out to him, and you’re thankful when you hear him sliding something off the shelf and putting it on the player.
You recognize the melody in the air instantly, and grin when Sukuna sits down beside you again. “The Eagles?”
Sukuna doesn’t move as his eyes slowly trail to you. He hums after a moment. “It’s a good album. You have… alright taste.”
In truth, he doesn’t mind your taste in music. Sure, he may not be fond of all of your choices, many in fact, but it would seem the two of you are making a habit out of surprising one another as he has his next album choice in mind already.
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” you chuckle at his dry attempt at being nice. The corner of Sukuna’s lips twitches up into a hint of a smile. It suits him.
As Hotel California blankets the air in warm strings and simple drum beats, the two of you are able to get a good amount of work done, putting your research together into one well-written and coherent thesis, one to be proud of.
Of course, you still need to put together an actual visual presentation to go with the thesis to be presented, but at least the bulk of the work is over with and you can feel confident in your project without concern anymore.
You have half a mind to get started on the visual portion now as well to get it all finished, but one glance at Sukuna tells you he’s tapped out, and either way you’ve gone through three records at this point as the final track on a Pink Floyd album comes to a close.
As silence falls over your project group, Sukuna lets out a sigh. It’s fairly dark in the room too as the sun sets, and when you check the clock to find it’s already six, you realize that’s likely why your stomach’s been making noises for the last twenty minutes.
“Why don’t you guys all stay for dinner?” You suggest, mostly out of politeness, but you can’t help but feel as though you’re drawn to him. You want to get to know him, know why he’s late so often, why he stays in school just to not show up for classes when it’s his money being blown. After all, it can’t just be his brothers or work, he likely only takes care of them while his parents are at work, surely.
Sukuna wearily glances between you and the door where his little brothers are, before shaking his head. “Nah, I can just make us somethin’ when we get back.”
“I insist,” you grin at him, watching the way a muscle twitches in jaw. “There are some great places nearby, we can just grab takeout while they play games, we’ll only be gone for a moment.”
He remains silent, arms crossed disdainfully over his chest before grimacing, giving in to your overly kind grin.
You settle on a curry restaurant just down the block and grab the boys’ orders, letting them know you’ll be right back. You’re sure you can trust Choso to look after his younger brother for twenty minutes.
As the chilly evening air hits your face, you let out a content hum, peering curiously back to see Sukuna falling into step with you. The two of you are a sight to behold, your appearance preppy and sweet decorated with autumnal colors fitting for the season, while he’s clad in leather and punk attire, the tones of his clothing purely grayscale.
He shoves his hands into his pockets, keeping his mild gaze locked in front of him.
“How old are they, your brothers?”
“Five and twelve,” Sukuna replies, fighting off a yawn and failing.
Amused, you smile up at him. “I’m glad you got some rest last night. I was worried about you.”
His brow twitches as he meets your kind smile. “Worried? About me?” He shoots you an incredulous look, scoffing. When you pout at him, he’s unable to hold back a smirk. It’s the first time you’ve seen him truly at ease and now that you’re alone with him, you notice that he actually seems to be somewhat relaxed.
“Yeah, maybe I was. Shoot me,” you shrug, playfully rolling your eyes.
He snorts, entertained, growing silent although the air that settles over you is comfortable now. Sukuna’s presence is surprisingly calming now that he isn’t constantly regarding you with disinterested gazes and irritated huffs. His expressions remain mild, but his brooding is more infrequent and the tension in his gruff voice has dulled. You would almost think he likes being around you.
As you come up to the curry restaurant, you lean into Sukuna with a point of your finger, silently telling him to enter the restaurant to your right. He pulls the door open for you, trailing closely behind. The atmosphere of the restaurant is busy, the employees behind the counter moving quickly to fulfill orders. Sukuna can only imagine how good the food must be given the line waiting to order, though you assure him it won’t take long.
He casts a glance up at the menu and frowns as he takes in the prices. He can afford to pay for himself, Yuji, and Choso, but not you. He has half a mind to say something, but his pride causes him to choke on the words. He inconspicuously pulls out his phone to take a look at his bank app to see if he can swing anything, but catches a glimpse of an employee not paying attention as he moves quickly towards you, all the while you’re not paying attention either, idly staring at the menu.
The employee about to barrel into you is holding a massive steel bucket and while Sukuna can’t see what’s inside, he doesn’t love the idea of you covered in water or worse.
With an annoyed click of his tongue, he lowers himself slightly, locking a strong arm around your middle and lifting you off the ground. You yelp in surprise, eyes wide as you latch onto his arm for purchase, head whipping around in confusion until you find the employee now walking past the exact spot you were in with boiling hot oil in a bucket.
Your lips purse, a shiver running from the base of your spine up to your nape just as Sukuna drops you to the ground unceremoniously in front of him. Your heels land with a clack on the ground as you catch your balance, your eyes still trailing after the employee that hadn’t been able to see you over the jug of hot oil they carried.
“Pay attention,” he scolds you with a frown.
“Oh my god,” you mutter mostly to yourself, your heart beating out of your chest as you finally look up at your savior. Your eyes flicker down to his arms. Even covered in leather, the way his muscles ripple beneath the fabric with each movement he makes doesn’t go unnoticed by you. “Thank you, S’kuna.”
He shoves his hands in his pocket, nodding. The way you abbreviate his name is painfully close to the nickname he avoids as much as he can, but he can’t bring himself to correct you and in all honesty, he’s not sure why. He lets it slide, clearing his throat as he clears his mind of the way the name seems to shake him.
“Don’t make a habit of it.”
His words feel like they should be scolding, but his tone doesn’t hold the same meaning. As he stares back up at the menu with a stitch in his horribly handsome brow, you can’t help but find yourself confused by the meaning of his words.
You don’t have much time to think about it as your turn to order comes and you find yourself at the counter, giving the employee your order before glancing back at Sukuna. His mouth parts and he hesitates.
“I- uh-”
You’ve never seen him dither in such a way and you tilt your head, blinking in confusion.
“I can’t-”
Frustration flashes through his eyes and you can see his jaw clench as he trips over his words. Flustered isn’t the right word, but his pride is certainly hurt as he finally manages to force out the explanation you need.
“I can’t afford to- uh-”
Again he pauses, his expression burning with irritation as his cheeks heat up, the admission coming at the cost of his ego.
Your face softens in understanding and your soft fingers wrap around his tattooed wrist, pulling him up to the counter.
“I’ve got it. I invited you to stay, it’s on me.” You hold your card out with a kind smile, but Sukuna doesn’t share your sentiment, anger flashing across the crimson of his eyes as he grits his teeth at you.
“I don’t need help,” he hisses, eyes narrowed as his walls go back up right before you.
“That’s not-” your eyes widen as you try to salvage the situation when Sukuna recoils suddenly. You hadn’t intended for him to take your words so personally, you’d just felt it was the right thing to do given that you had invited not only him, but both of his brothers over as well, and suggested the place to begin with. “You can get the next one,” you tell him in hopes of mending the bridge between you.
He examines your expression, finding no traces of malice or ill-will in your features. Frowning, he huffs as he turns to give his order to the poor employee who’d had the displeasure of witnessing Sukuna’s outburst. In his silence, you order for his little brothers as well.
With a dour sigh, the tattooed man moves along to the side to wait for the order, the fact that you paid leaving a sour taste in his mouth. You make your way over to him, leaving a small distance between you.
“I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean-”
“It’s fine.”
“Really, I- I-” you stumble over your words as he glares at you. You suppose Shoko had warned you that Sukuna was notoriously an ass, but you hadn’t witnessed it first hand until now. Still, you can’t help but feel like what you’re witnessing isn’t that. At the end of the day he isn’t lashing out for no reason, it’s clear you struck a nerve and you can’t blame him for being hurt by it, even if it’s not what you intended and you don’t fully understand where he’s coming from.
“Drop it,” Sukuna growls, though his anger has subsided somewhat, his gaze cast to the wall.
You blink up at him, hating the way the world seems to hold its breath around you.
You can’t deny that the man who towers over you, covered in tattoos and piercings is intimidating. Between his gruff voice, his mild mannerisms and his disinterested demeanor, he’s tough to read and you really can’t afford to let a rift come between you when you still have to work on your project.
Your lips part to say something but one striking glance from those crimson eyes has the words dying in your throat. Your mouth goes dry as you wrack your brain for anything to stay, but draw a blank.
Sukuna’s brow knits together at the sight of your anxious expression and he shuts his eyes for a moment, sighing.
It takes him a moment to fully cool off and collect his thoughts, but he can see in your eyes that you genuinely meant no harm and he supposes it’s the right thing to do to give you a break for that. You’re just naturally kind and he finds that he needs to remind himself of that.
“It’s… fine,” he murmurs in a strained voice, nudging you with his elbow. You crack a smile at him, thankful when his body language seems to relax somewhat again.
You don’t dare say anything as you wait for your food, fiddling with your phone in your hands as you contemplate his reaction. You obviously hurt his pride unintentionally by offering to pay, but between skipping school for work and the fact that this restaurant isn’t by any means expensive, you have a guess as to why he might have been so affected, one that makes Sukuna’s entire demeanor and his exhaustion click into place like a puzzle.
Before you have a chance to ask him, unsure if you even want to, your name is called and Sukuna is grabbing your order. You reach out to grab one of the bags but Sukuna swiftly holds it overhead with a smirk that doesn’t quite meet his eyes as you pout playfully. He continues to hold the food overhead as he leads the way outside. Watching you trail closely behind him, standing up on your tiptoes in an attempt to reach the bags, he raises a brow.
“Walk, brat.”
You shoot him a look, brow furrowed, before giving in and falling into step alongside him. He brings his arms down, holding the bags on his arms opposite you.
With your mind still preoccupied with thoughts of Sukuna’s earlier outburst, you bring your lower lip between your teeth, mindlessly chewing on it as you stare at the sidewalk beneath your feet.
Sukuna eyes you from his peripherals, taking note of the way you’re deep in thought. “Just fucking ask your question.”
Much like yesterday, Sukuna easily notices the way you glance at him uncertainly, the question on the tip of your tongue. It catches you off-guard how easily he reads you and you fall out of step with him, taking longer strides to catch up after you falter.
“I- um- do you-” you hesitate, casting a glance at his aloof expression. He seems at ease again and you don’t want to burn the bridge you’ve only just managed to mend, out of fear that another fire wouldn’t be put out so easily.
“Yeah.”
You stop in your tracks, blinking in surprise with pursed lips. Sukuna raises a brow at you, only a short distance ahead as he stops too, turning to face you. You can’t read his expression as it remains mild, his questioning brow the only sign that gives away any hint of his thoughts. In a few short strides, you’re back at his side.
“You’re… their guardian?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh.”
Sukuna chews on his tongue piercing mindlessly as he watches the gears turn in your mind, putting together the pieces of the puzzle that had been laid out for you.
Of course Sukuna’s tired if he’s taking care of two young boys, going to college, working, cooking, cleaning, god the list can only go on. You wonder if the reason he seems so at ease right now, so quick to forgive you, is because he’s thankful for the break. You wonder how long it’s been since he’s had time to himself.
“That’s why you missed yesterday.”
He shrugs. “You knew that already.”
“I guess, yeah.” Your turn to shrug. “I just thought it was a temporary thing.”
Sukuna lets out a humorless laugh. “Well it’s not.”
You’re not really sure how to react, in all honesty. You don’t want him to think you pity him, you can’t offer sympathy, you certainly can’t offer help. In your uncertainty, you find yourself continuing to fiddle with your phone, avoiding his gaze.
Sukuna quite simply… turns to leave, deciding to spare you of your discomfort, and him of any more blows to his pride. You jog after him, falling into step again. There are questions left unanswered and sympathies you want to extend, but you can’t bear the thought of hurting him again, even if it’s unintentional, so you bite your tongue.
The sounds of the city surround you, filling the silence. Sirens blare in the distance, trees rustle above you, and casual chatter comes and goes as you pass other groups of people on the way to your apartment. It’s all a welcome distraction as you continue to fiddle with your phone, the air between you two neither tense nor comfortable. It lies somewhere in between and you don’t dare tip the scales out of fear of making your counterpart uncomfortable.
“You play a lot of Pokemon growin’ up?”
Your eyes light up as Sukuna starts a conversation, finally tipping the scales back towards being comfortable.
“My best friend growing up really liked it, we played a lot of Ruby and Sapphire.”
“Same as the brats.” He scoffs playfully.
“Are you gonna pretend that isn’t your old GameBoy?”
He tilts his head in your direction, a hint of a smirk on his lips. “And if it is?”
“Dunno, I might think you’re a bit of a nerd,” you tease, mindlessly chewing on your lip.
Sukuna’s eyes flicker down to your lips. He catches himself immediately, averting his gaze. “Tch.”
You giggle when he doesn’t refute your claim. He shoves his hands back into his pockets, your takeout bags dangling from his forearm.
As you arrive back at your apartment, Sukuna lets you unlock the door before grabbing and holding it open for you. His eyes trace your figure as you tread ahead of him with a skip in your step. When you turn back to him, realizing he hasn’t followed you yet, he blinks in surprise as he realizes exactly what he’s doing, shaking his head to clear it.
Why in the hell was he checking you out anyway? He doesn’t make a habit of hooking up with people who know him beyond face value. He mutters a ‘sorry’, relieved when you don’t seem to notice the way he’d so shamelessly checked you out.
Closing the door behind him, he sets the food on the table, tossing his jacket aside as you call his brothers, setting up a little dinner around your coffee table. Sukuna groans as he slips down onto the floor to eat, remaining quiet as he simply watches the way you cheerfully entertain both of his brothers’ antics.
Shoveling rice into his mouth, Sukuna stares down at his curry, contemplating the strange sense of warmth blooming in his chest. The feeling is so unfamiliar to him that he can’t place it. He has half a mind to drown the emotion in nicotine and the need to smoke grows quickly.
He’s so preoccupied in his thoughts, Sukuna doesn’t realize his little brothers have both run off back to your room, leaving the two of you alone.
“S’kuna?”
Striking pupils suddenly meet yours. He straightens from where he sits across from you on the couch, taking notice of the fact that you’ve already finished your dinner.
“Are you alright?”
Sukuna nods. “‘M fine.” Yet he can’t help but to drink in the sight of you, the way you look at him with so much care and he can’t understand why, the way your lips move so softly when you speak. The way your figure and curves would feel under his hands, the way you keep biting your lip… Sukuna shakes his head suddenly, getting to his feet as he chalks it up to lust. He’ll get over it at the next party he goes to. “Balcony?” He asks suddenly, pointing at the door at the back of your apartment.
You nod, watching in confusion as he rises suddenly and rushes out the door, pulling out a box of cigarettes. You hum to yourself, deciding to give him a moment. You’re not sure exactly what came over him, he seemed flustered even if only for a moment, but there was something else you noticed in his eyes, something darker you couldn’t identify.
Pushing that aside, you put the lid back over his food to keep it warm and check your phone to find Shoko’s been trying to reach you to go pick up your car. You let her know you’ll have to pick it up tomorrow since you’re with Sukuna as you wait for him to finish smoking.
After a few messages back and forth, you glance back outside at Sukuna. The way the muscles along his back ripple just from the act of breathing is eye-catching enough, but when he stubs out his cigarette and leans over the railing of your little balcony, your eyes trail to his shoulder blades protruding from the white material of his shirt.
Catching yourself holding your breath, you take a step forward and decide to check on him, closing the balcony door in your stead as you slip onto the small overlook behind him.
He doesn’t acknowledge you even as you lean beside him, his tired expression fixated on the street below. You rest a hand on his bicep as you tilt your head quizzically. “Are you sure everything’s alright?”
Ever aloof, you aren’t able to tell what he’s thinking as he turns to look at you. You, completely unaware that your touch has set his skin alight. Unbeknownst to him, his eyes have darkened a shade as his pupils dilate at your touch. Unsure what’s come over him, he simply hums affirmatively as an answer to your question.
Your brow knits together but you accept his response. He wonders if you know that you’re rubbing circles into the skin of his bicep and it’s driving him crazy. What the hell is it about you that’s got him horny like it’s his first year of college again? It frustrates him beyond belief, but maybe it’s just been too long since he’s slept with someone. That has to be it. It’s just lust. He swallows hard, his adam’s apple bobbing with the action when you finally bring your attention out to the road in front of you both, removing your hand from him.
“Hey, um, what do you do at the supermarket?” You ask in an effort to create conversation with him.
“Stock,” he replies shortly, his tone as stoic as his expression.
“That’s not too bad,” you murmur thoughtfully, giggling to yourself suddenly. Sukuna’s brow raises. “Sorry, I just can’t imagine you as, like, a cashier or something.”
“Why not?” He sneers, standing up straight and facing you, offended.
“Come on,” you giggle, “you’re not very talkative.”
“I can be,” he insists, taking a step towards you.
“Is that your way of proving it?” You provoke him with a grin.
He scoffs. “I just don’t have anythin’ to say,” he grumbles with a tense jaw, staring down at you. “‘Sides, I work with customers at my other job.”
Another job? You frown at his admission. How the hell is he managing this? How hasn’t he flunked out? “What other job?”
“Mechanic,” he states blandly.
“Really? Are you a big car guy?” You ask, genuinely curious.
Sukuna’s somewhat taken aback by the way you lean in, your full attention directed towards him. You seem to take such a genuine interest in him and he isn’t quite sure what to make of it.
A smirk pays at the corners of his lips as he decides to mess with you, loving the idea of keeping you on your toes and pushing your buttons. “Nah. ‘M just good with my hands,” he drawls as you present him the perfect opportunity to tease you back given how much of a hard time you’ve been giving him.
Your eyes widen at his euphemism, cheeks heating up as you grip the balcony railing harder. You avert your gaze in an attempt to save face, willing your heart to slow down to no avail.
You clear your throat. “I-I um, th-that makes sense,” you stammer, mentally facepalming at just how nervous your words come out. He has no right to be this hot.
“Not so talkative now, are ya?” He chuckles lowly, sliding from his position leaning on the railing beside you to rest his opposite hand on your other side, effectively trapping you.
You flip over to face him, leaning back against the railing with pursed lips. Sukuna grins at your mousey behavior, thrilling in the way you squirm trapped between him and the railing. “Sukuna?”
His heart pounds in his chest at the sound of his name coming from your lips and his smirk falters. Why the hell is his heart beating so fast? He forces his smirk again, moving his face down to your level in an effort to push away the strange feeling blooming in the pit of his stomach. “Yeah, woman?”
Focusing on anything other than the man in front of you, you can only manage to mumble out a few ‘um’s and ‘uh’s. Sukuna chuckles at just how flustered you are, freeing you from the cage of his arms as he rests against the railing beside you again.
You clear your throat, trying to ignore your spiraling thoughts. And boy are they ever spiraling as you stare out at the street beneath you, attempting to focus on the passing cars and not your pounding heart. “Why are you in Art History?”
Sukuna’s lit another cigarette in the time that you’ve used to recover your thoughts. He looks calmer once again as smoke spirals from the glowing embers. “Required class.”
“R-Right.” You swallow, moving past your stammer. “What do you want to do?”
He pauses for a moment, taking a languid drag from the cigarette. A puff of smoke leaves his lips before he replies. “Dunno. I’m a history major.”
You wouldn’t have imagined the college’s resident bad boy to be a history major, if you’re being honest with yourself, but you remind yourself not to judge a book by its cover.
He runs a hand through his hair as you contemplate the idea of Sukuna as a history major and what he might do with that major given that you can’t envision him as a historian or a museum curator, and certainly not as a teacher.
“I’m thinking of swapping majors,” he admits. You examine his expression as he taps the edge of the cigarette with a finger. He shrugs, shifting his gaze to stare at the sidewalk beneath the both of you. “Starting to think history doesn’t make sense.”
“Well, what do you want to do, Sukuna?”
He casts you a glance, examining your attentive face. You’re so wholly invested in his words that it causes a pang in his chest. He subconsciously brings a hand up to his chest, scratching at it as if to cast the strange feeling away.
Setting the feeling aside, he finds himself scowling in thought. When he was considerably younger he’d wanted to pursue graphic design but he hadn’t had the luxury of thinking about his future for a while now. In truth, he’s not even sure why he’s in history right now. It interests him enough to keep him attentive but the career options are… few and far between and he can’t exactly afford to fuck around and swap majors constantly.
His minor in business makes more sense, at least he can do something with it, but… in truth, he doesn’t know what he’s doing. It’s another page filed under ‘uncertainties’ in the book that is Sukuna.
You take his silence as an answer and shoot him a wry smile. “You don’t have to answer, I’m sorry to pry.”
“It’s fine,” he sighs. “I just dunno that either.”
Admitting to it feels shameful, almost, and frankly, Sukuna thinks he’s had enough of making a fool of himself in front of you today. Stubbing out his cigarette, he stands up and makes his way back inside. You follow after him, blinking as he begins packing up.
“I should go,” he mumbles, shutting his laptop and tossing it into his bag. He picks up his keys from your desk, shoving them in his pocket as he zips up his backpack. “Oh,” he stops his movements, hesitating for a moment. “I… Appreciate dinner.”
Your expression softens and you smile wholeheartedly. “No problem. You can take your leftovers, too. They’re still on the table,” you point over to the box you’d set the cover over. He nods, shutting it and tucking it in his bag as well.
With a tired sigh, he gathers his brothers, ushering them towards the doorway.
“Got anything to say?” Sukuna utters, staring down at both kids expectantly.
“Thank you!”
“Thank you, miss!”
You grin at both kids, kneeling down. “I hope you two had fun. You know, maybe you can convince your brother to come over again and I’ll pull out my old GameCube.”
With the expressions of jaw-dropping awe you’re getting right now, you would think you’d revealed to them the secret to happiness or something. Yuji leaps into your arms immediately, nearly toppling you over as he shoots a pleading stare at Sukuna.
Sukuna’s expression shifts to one of irritation as Yuji pleads with him, “Kuna! Pleeeease pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease,” that has you giggling at the way a vein in his forehead seems to pulse.
“Brat. Brat! Shut up, I’ll think about it, alright?”
Yuji nods cheerfully, counting straight to Sukuna’s leg to hug him, and the clear irritation on your classmate’s face immediately falters. Maybe he’s a bit of a softie after all.
Sukuna sighs heavily, reaching a long arm down to ruffle his brother’s hair. “Yeah, alright, kid. If she invites us.”
His voice is tired, albeit strangely soft. It’s almost like he’s a different person, and suddenly you can see why it is that he’s pulling such a terrible schedule. Despite the clear stress being a twenty two year old parent to two young kids is, he clearly loves them.
But this is Sukuna we’re talking about, so he doesn’t always know how to express that.
It’s sweet, really, and your heart melts at the sight.
“Go wait outside, you two.” Both kids run down the hall to the elevator as they excitedly ponder what games you might have, leaving you and Sukuna alone as he leans on the doorframe.
“You free next Saturday?” You ask once his attention returns to you.
“I can let you know. Depends on the auto shop’s schedule.”
“We can always do another day, whatever works best for you, Kuna.” Your voice holds a teasing lilt as you mimic Yuji’s entirely too adorable name for him.
“Don’t start with that,” he snarls, mumbling something about the name being annoying. Before turning to walk away, he decides to pay you back for all of your teasing with a jab of his own. “Don’t make a habit of getting oil dumped on you, yeah?”
What Sukuna isn’t expecting is for you to be able to match his teasing without a second thought. “What, I can’t email you for help?”
He snorts, smirking at the ground as he pushes himself off of the doorframe and begins to turn away. “See you around,” he says, raising a hand in farewell as he follows after his two brothers. Your eyes trail curiously after him until he’s out of sight, shutting and locking the door quietly.
In truth, you don’t expect to hear from him until maybe next Friday if you’re lucky, but to your surprise when you check your email later that night, your inbox has a new email from Sukuna. It’s still funny, to think that you’re communicating via email, but at least you aren’t giggling to yourself as you open this one.
[email protected] - Sunday, 12:04 AM brat stole your gameboy. meet at the fountain at noon monday
[email protected] - Sunday, 12:23 AM That’s alright!! He can keep it :)
[email protected] - Sunday, 12:27 AM no he needs to learn. noon at the fountain
With a sigh, you realize he isn’t about to relent and give in.
[email protected] - Sunday, 12:28 AM Okay I’ll see you then Kuna lol
And oh if you could see the way Sukuna is guffawing and huffing at his screen, slamming his laptop shut as you call him the nickname he doesn’t want anyone to know. Yet here you are, barging into his life on all fronts and learning more about him than he wants.
The way his heart stutters, it actually stutters when he sees his inbox go up by a notification because he just knows it’s you and fuck why is it actually cute when you use that nickname?
Sukuna rubs a hand over his face and pulls his comforter up over his shoulder, sinking into the plush of his mattress as he tries to get some rest before his shift the next morning. He’ll deal with his other issues later.
main masterlist || series masterlist || next chapter - coming soon
❦ a/n ; hello!! thank you so much for reading i've been having an absolute blast with this. i've been working on this for a long time and it was initially intended to be about 25k, but after working on it for a month straight it hit that pretty quickly and i'm nowhere near done. aaaanyways, thanks for all the love and support and as always, likes, reblogs, and comments are super appreciated <3
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writing & format © starmapz. art © 3-aem. dividers © adornedwithlight & cafekitsune.
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Even if you think it's pointless, try anything to survive. Call a help center online. Call for a trusted loved one. Ask for help and when you don't find it, try again. Don't listen to the voice in your head saying "it's pointless" or "the world would be better off without me anyway". That's the desease talking. You matter. Even if I don't know you, even if I only barely know you only online through likes and posts, you matter to me. As part of communities I love or just respect from affar, you matter. Because the communities I love are made by people, and that someone desapearing is a tragedy that impacts us all in different ways. I'm not good enough in english to express how much even if we don't know eachother it's so so important to me that you survive. Because just by existing you make the spaces I care for so important. Maybe thanks to you, through the strange logic of the algorithm I learnt something that matters to me today. Maybe we liked the same post. Maybe we know the same artist. I can't stress out how much of a black hole you would leave if you weren't there anymore. In those trying times, we need to support eachother the best way we can and if you're not here anymore, it's one less supportive soul for us. It's a community sibling we will all mourn, without even knowing it. So yeah, let's fight together. And by fight, I mean any kind of fight. Yes, surviving is a fight. The most important one I might add. Outlive the stupid people who hate us. You bring so much more to humanity than them, just by existing. You don't even have to do anything to bring joy, warmth, and meaning to us. Just being you is enough. Just loving what you love is enough. Just sharing your passion or knowledge by rebloging or liking is enough. Just interacting with us is enough.
Just being part of our community is enough. So please, stay.
I hope none of you disappear in the coming days. Seriously don't do anything that can't be undone.
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A portrait of your ideal partner
Who's your ideal partner according to spirit? Do you think your vision of an ideal partner matches what the spirit realm reveals? Curious to find out ? Select one of the following characters. For each group, I divided the deck into 3 parts : major arcanas, court cards, other minor cards. The major arcanas will represent the archetypal qualities of the person, the court cards will represent their physical aspect and the other minor arcanas will represent aspects of their personality that are more hidden. The theme for this reading will be Disney's Lion King.
Group 1
Major arcana | The Chariot
The Chariot is associated with the sign of Cancer, ruled by the Moon and ruler of the 4th house. This archetype is water influenced. Qualities that would be associated with this archetype would be the following : dynamic, caring, understanding, compassionate, empathetic, proactive, loyal, observant, home body, family person, sensitive, dreamy, creative, moody, overly cautious, has pessimistic tendencies, can be clingy and manipulative, tends to overthink. Your ideal person according to spirit would be someone that is viewed by society as a good parental figure, someone that is a good listener and blends well within society. A person that doesn't cause trouble and understands the need of acting and thinking as one. If we take a very rigid approach to things, someone that as a man would be viewed as shy, reserved, loving and sensitive. A bit of a lover boy energy, maybe someone that wouldn't be considered as "manly" by society because of their pronounced sensitivity. A pure gentleman. If we consider "women" from society's point of view, a person that would be described as "feminine" : the typical loving mother archetype that people expect to stay at home watching over the kids and taking care of the house while being absolutely lovely and always pampered. Of course this is very cliché, but again, we're talking about archetypes. These tend to be stereotypes. Your ideal person could be someone that has a lot of artistic hobbies, someone that isn't afraid to express their emotions and be vulnerable in your presence. In terms of physical traits, a person that has a lot of softness to them. Someone young looking, with round features and curves, a fond smile and sparkling eyes. Maybe someone with curly hair or kind of a fairy look.
Court card | Queen of wands
In terms of physical traits, spirit sends us the image of someone rather feminine looking, with luscious hair and a lot of warmth to their presence. They could be someone of a different ethnicity than yours. Overall, a very solar type of person. Someone that, on the oustide, looks very approachable, sociable, outgoing. Even if they're not. So someone that smiles a lot, that looks very open in their posture. A person that wears very colorful and bold clothing. Someone that takes very good care of their body, that has a lot of sensuality. So probably a person that works out or does at least one physical activity as a hobby. Someone that appears as warm, comforting, confident. So, someone with a trusty back and big arms that would give you the best cuddles. There's also a fondness to their eyes. When you look at them, you instantly feel like you're melting. Everything about this person's aura or appearance is inviting and tempting, makes you feel incredibly warm and protected. Someone quite tall, with a solid and athletic build.
Minor arcana | 7 of pentacles
When it comes to their personality, spirit wishes for you someone incredibly patient and reserved. Someone mature, that will not be afraid to wait for you and support you. A person that takes things slow and carefully, methodically. That does not rush to conclusions, that does not lose their temper when faced with an issue. A person that takes rational decisions based on solid facts. Someone that is careful with their money, time, actions. That will provide you with a safe environment in which you can bloom at your own pace. A person that is loving and generous, reliable, understanding of your limits. Someone that will walk along side you instead of ahead of you. A person that isn't afraid to work hard to ensure a healthy connection. Someone calm, grounded, that will take your opinion into consideration and value you as a person. Someone you could safely envision a future with, having your own family, if that was something you wished. Because this person would have all the required qualities and strength to make a reliable and amazing parent.
Group 2
Major Arcana | Justice
Justice is commonly associated with the sign of Libra, ruled by Venus and ruler of the 7th house of partnership. This archetype is air influenced. Qualities that could be associated with this archetype are the following : analytical, fair, witty, diplomatic, sociable, charming, cooperative, rational, indecisive, has a tendency of overthinking, sensual, can be irrascible and sometimes carefree, can be extremely cutting with their words. If we take a societal approach of the Justice archetype, we have someone that would be viewed as irreproachable, perfect. Well established, professionally accomplished, always neatly dressed and prepared in any situation. Someone well educated, efficient in their work, well spoken, that cannot be tricked or easily manipulated. Someone that can sometimes be ruthless and cold, especially in business. A person that lives their life ruled by their head and not their heart. A person that has a tough shell that protects them and is not easily swayed by life's struggles. Someone that is loyal, protective and goes by the rules no matter what. A person that will stand up for what they believe in. Someone that can be admired by others because of their ethic and charisma. A person that never backs down and never gives up. But also someone that has a lot of responsibilities on their shoulders because of that.
Court card | Queen of swords
The queen of swords as physical traits depicts an image of someone that may look emotionally closed off, similarily to the Justice archetype. A person that may appear as cold from an external point of view. This may be someone that wears a lot of suits, clothing that isn't that colorful but rather tight fitting and gives a bit of a strict vibe. This person could wear glasses. Give off a bit of a nerd vibe as well. Someone that is elegant, graceful. Kind of a cold beauty vibe. I kinda pick up on a bit of a scorpionic energy as well. An intense gaze that could be highlighted by long lashes, very graphic eyeliner and so on. A very pale skin. A prominent jaw. A bit of a frown. Someone that doesn't smile a lot. That may have a bit of a "RBF". Someone that doesn't hold eye contact a lot. That may look like they look down on people when they're just lost in their thoughts. A person with long silky hair, rather dark hair. Definitely a beard for men. Someone that looks dignified, maybe a bit haughty. Someone that would look like they come from royalty because of how they walk, how they stand. A person that could be mistaken as a statue or a model. But still with a very feminine quality to them. A cold kind of sensuality that leaves you frozen in awe at how surreal they look.
Minor Arcana | Ace of wands
In terms of personality, this person would be way warmer than what they let on. A person that is extremely driven, ambitious, passionate. A person that is fun to be around and that encourages you in everything you do. A person that can be your best friend. Someone that always sees the bright side of things and brings out the best of you. Someone daring, charming, adventurous. A person that has a bit of a unique way of thinking, a very unique personality. A person that likes competition and challenges. Someone that would bring out your inner child. A person that would make you laugh, remind you of how beautiful you are. Someone horny and kinky AF. A bit of a child sometimes, especially around you. Someone that would be soft only for you. A person that maybe doesn't like PDA but who would gladly accept it if it made you happy. Someone that would give you butterflies with every smile, every stare, every touch. That would never cease to love you. A very exciting person to be with, someone that would help you celebrate yourself and life. A person that is a bit of a trickster and has a cocky attitude that you just cannot resist.
Group 3
Major Arcana | The Sun
The archetype of the Sun is associated with Leo, ruled by the sun and ruler of the 5th house. Qualities and traits associated with this archetype include the following : optimistic, confident, outgoing, ambitious, charming, charismatic, competitive, admired by many, succesful, has egotistical and narcisstic tendencies, can be jealous and possesive, creative, loyal, warm hearted, can be stubborn and arrogant, sometimes controlling, generous, sensual, protective, has great leadership qualities. Society could view this person as the epitome of success and perfection. This is someone that could be both admired and envied by people because of their qualities and life style. A lot of people would agree that your ideal partner has a lot of charm and can get anything they want in life partly because of their good looks and social skills. This is a person that could be described as a play boy/ play girl, a smooth talker. People could think that they get the pretty priviledge, among other things. From an outer point of view, I feel many people would misunderstand this person's nature because they would mainly focus on appearances without really trying to get to know them at their core. This could be a person that faces discrimination in all kinds of forms because of that. People would get easily intimidated by this person's looks and energy. The archetype of the Sun makes me think of someone popular, that tries to be friends with everyone, that may tend to people please to be loved and admired. A person that may fear being lonely and runs away from their solitude by surrounding themselves with people or keeping themselves busy. I also think of a person that would be very active in life in general because they have a lot of energy to spend, someone that would appear in public a lot and speak a lot, someone loud, colorful, bold. A person that would be the first to stand on a battle ground should it be needed. A person that causes a lot of chatter and rumours unintentionally.
Court cards | page of pentacles
When it comes to their physical appearance, your ideal partner according to spirit is someone that is rather simple and discreet. This person would dress neatly and take care of their body but they wouldn't put too much effort into it as this isn't their main priority. This would be someone rather young, possibly younger than you. Someone that physically doesn't appear as intimidating as people may portray them to be. Someone that looks rather stable and grounded, trustworthy and kind. A person with a shy smile and avoiding gaze, that may tend to bite their nails or play with the hem of their shirt in times of nervousness. If this person is viewed as attractive and beautiful by many, they play it down a whole lot. This would be a person that doesn't play with their appearance or try to emphasize their beauty. They would tend to hide a lot of their body, wear clothes that aren't as fitting and complimenting as to not draw attention. So maybe they'd wear oversized clothes, hoodies and hats to hide their face, actual masks even. Even if they may be wealthy, they wouldn't wear expensive clothes but rather very basic ones. This is someone that looks very humble and respectful. They may tend to look at their feet, hunch their back. They may wear headphones a lot or look avoidant. Regardless of their gender or ethnicity, this person would have a bit of a soft childlike vibe to them. Kind of a lost / head in the clouds student look. Their appearance would feel very natural. So no make up. No tattoos. No aesthetical surgery or excessive jewelry. They would have a very "basic" body shape. Something that doesn't stand out that much. They're not excessively muscular but they don't lack muscle. They're not excessively curvy but their body doesn't lack volume. A very balanced and proportionate body structure, same goes for facial features.
Minor Arcana | 6 of swords
When it comes to their personality traits, this would be someone that thinks a lot and always tries to weighs the pros and cons of a situation. Someone that is very thougthful and understanding of people's differences. This would be a person that is a good communicator and listener. Someone that is patient and soft, that would make sure that you are not left behind or feel "less than". This is a person that would think of you first and make sure you feel included. Someone versatile, empathetic, that can adapt to any situation. Someone capable of adapting your point of view, even if it may not always make sense to them, because they know how vital it can be for a relationship to find a common ground. A person that wouldn't be scared to leave behind everything they own and everything they know if it meant protecting and ensuring a healthy relationship. Someone that isn't afraid to set boundaries and cut ties with what doesn't serve them or the connection. A person that would prioritize quality time and communication. Someone that would be accepting of your differences, that would be reassuring and help you gain clarity in times of doubt. Someone that doesn't fear change and can bring change in the connection should it be needed. A calm and collected person, resilient person. Someone that wouldn't fear your past but wouldn't stay stuck on it either. A person with great analytical skills that could help you see things from a different perspective, broaden your mind and allow you to explore the depths of your ideas and visions. A person that would travel the world with you and wouldn't leave your side, no matter where you are or what you do. That would stick with you through thick and thin.
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Maybe I’m dumb but how did viktor’s crutch suddenly get several feet longer? The rest that used to sit under his arm now is above his head?
Hi lovely. You're not dumb! It's such a quick moment in the episode that it's easy to miss what (I think) happens.
So when Viktor comes out of the hex-goop he immediately reaches for his crutch (a really cool detail that I love very much, as it shows that, deep down, he's still Viktor to at least some degree). Now, in this shot, right after he grabs it, his crutch looks like it always has
But we can see that when he touches the crutch, he begins to change it in a similar way that he himself has been changed. You can see it actually happening here
And here you can see it afterwords.
And then there's this shot while he's talking to Jayce that shows his entire crutch. If you look at the very bottom, you can see this spindly design that wasn't there before
So I think what happened is him touching the crutch made it transform and therefore extended it, making it taller than before.
It even sounds different when he walks! It's more of a glassy/metallic sound than a thump. How cool is that!
#thanks for the question!#im honestly kind of flattered that you asked me 😭#hope this answers your question <3#ask box#ask response#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane season 2#arcane#viktor arcane#viktor#viktor the machine herald
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And then i go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like i love you.
Part 6 of 12
Synopsis: Surfing lessons and more confessions (shocker)
Pairing: unrequited JJ x Reader, Eventual Rafe x Reader
masterlist
—--
Y/N glanced at her phone with a sigh, wondering if it was just another reminder of her complicated feelings. But instead, her screen lit up with a name she hadn’t expected. Rafe Cameron
She frowned at first, thinking it was some weird mistake. Rafe? Why would he be texting her this late? Her finger hovered over the screen, hesitant, before she swiped to open the message.
Rafe: Midnight drive?
Her brows furrowed. Midnight? Was he serious? Y/N looked at the clock—she wasn’t really tired, but the last thing she expected tonight was an invitation from him.
Y/N: How did you get my number?
She typed quickly, half-joking, half-curious, but honestly, more interested than she’d like to admit. She almost deleted it, but the words were out before she could stop herself.
The reply came almost instantly, and she couldn’t help but laugh at his reply.
Rafe: Don’t worry about it.
Y/N rolled her eyes, smiling despite herself. The guy was insufferable, but also oddly charming in a way that caught her off guard. She sat back in her chair, contemplating for a moment. What could it hurt? She was used to hanging out with the Pogues at all hours of the night anyway. This wouldn’t be any different.
Still, she had to tease him a little.
Y/N: You logged on to the country club’s computer, didn’t you?
She waited, half-expecting him to respond with something smug and condescending. Instead, the reply was simpler. A smiley face emoji with a single word:
Rafe: Maybe.
Y/N let out a breath, part exasperated, part amused. The fact that he was so cryptic made her want to know more, but she wasn’t about to let him get under her skin so easily. She typed back quickly, deciding to go with it.
Y/N: You’re lucky I’m bored. I’ll meet you out front in 10.
Without waiting for a response, she tossed her phone on her bed and stood up, running her fingers through her hair. She grabbed her jacket from the back of the door and slipped into something comfortable enough to hang out, but still warm enough for a late-night drive.
---
A few minutes later, Y/N was standing outside, the cool night air ruffling her hair. Her heart raced a little—not from nervousness, but from the odd excitement she felt at the thought of going out with Rafe. Maybe it was because she never really got the chance to talk to him in the way she wanted to. Or maybe it was just the spontaneity of it all.
The headlights of his car cut through the dark before she heard the engine, and Rafe’s sleek black car rolled up to the curb. He leaned over from the driver’s side and rolled down the window, looking effortlessly cool as usual.
“Hop in, princess. You ready for an adventure?” His grin was playful, and Y/N couldn’t help but shake her head in disbelief at his arrogance.
“You really think I’m going to get in that car after you—” Y/N started, but Rafe cut her off with a raised eyebrow.
“I promise I won’t bite,” he said, his voice low and teasing. “Unless you want me to.”
Y/N laughed, shaking her head. She slid into the passenger seat, rolling her eyes as she buckled up. “You’re unbelievable.”
“That’s why you like me.” He winked, his grin still wide. “But seriously, you up for a drive around the island?”
She shrugged, trying to seem casual, though she felt a bit of a flutter in her stomach. “Sure. Why not? What else is there to do around here?”
Rafe nodded approvingly as he shifted the car into gear, and they were off, the soft hum of the engine the only sound for a while.
The drive was slow at first, the cool breeze from the windows mixing with the music playing softly in the background. Y/N looked out the window at the familiar sights of the Outer Banks—everything she’d grown up with, but somehow different tonight.
“So, what’s the plan?” Y/N asked, trying to ease the silence. “You just wanted to drive around and look at the stars?”
“Nah.” Rafe chuckled, his eyes glinting as he focused on the road. “I thought maybe you could use a little excitement. Besides, I thought you might want to take a break from the whole Pogue routine for a change.”
Y/N raised an eyebrow. “Are you implying the Pogues are boring?”
“Not boring,” he said, his voice turning mock serious. “Just predictable. Plus, it’s nice to hang out with someone who doesn’t have the same baggage as the rest of them.”
Y/N considered this for a moment, then shrugged. “Fair point. But we all have our baggage, don’t we?”
Rafe glanced at her, a flicker of something in his eyes. “True,” he agreed quietly. “But I think you’re a little more... chill about it than the others.”
“Maybe.” She let out a soft laugh, feeling the tension between them lighten just a bit. “I’m just used to it by now. Besides, everyone’s got their own mess to deal with.”
Rafe nodded, his gaze on the road as they sped through the dark, but Y/N could sense that he was thinking about something deeper, something personal. The moment was quiet, comfortable in its own way, until he spoke again, his tone a little more vulnerable this time.
“Do you ever think about what happens after we graduate? What’s next?”
Y/N turned toward him, surprised by the question. It was a conversation she wasn’t prepared to have, but it felt oddly important.
“Yeah,” she said slowly. “I think about it all the time. Like, what’s out there beyond this island? But then I remember that I don’t really know if I’m ready to leave.”
Rafe’s lips quirked into a soft smile, but his eyes were faraway, distant. “I get that. For me, though, it’s... it’s more about living up to what my family expects. You know?”
Y/N nodded, even though she wasn’t sure she understood completely. But she could sense the pressure in his words, the weight of his own struggles. “Yeah,” she said quietly. “I can imagine that.”
The car fell into silence for a while as Rafe focused on the road, and Y/N sat back, thinking about everything he’d just said. For a moment, the world felt smaller, simpler—just the two of them driving through the night, talking about things they didn’t normally share.
The car pulled into a secluded spot near the beach, the wheels crunching softly against the gravel as Rafe parked. For a moment, the only sounds were the hum of the engine winding down and the waves crashing against the shore.
Y/N looked out the window, feeling the familiar pull of the ocean, but also the strange quietness that accompanied being out here at this hour. She wasn’t sure what Rafe had in mind, but she wasn’t complaining. The night felt open, full of possibilities.
“Come on.” Rafe slid out of the car, slamming the door shut behind him, and walked over to the trunk, pulling out two surfboards.
Y/N raised an eyebrow. “What are you, some kind of surfing guru now?” she called out, a teasing smile spreading across her face.
Rafe turned to face her with a grin, his eyes glinting mischievously in the moonlight. “I’ve been doing this for years. Figured I’d teach you a thing or two.” He tossed one of the boards toward her, and she caught it easily, though the weight of it surprised her a little.
She shot him a skeptical look, but as usual, Rafe wasn’t one to back down from a challenge.
“JJ tried to teach me when I was younger,” she said, stepping out of the car and slinging the surfboard over her shoulder. “Let’s just say it didn’t go well.”
Rafe’s smirk widened. “What happened? He let you fall off on purpose?”
Y/N rolled her eyes, though she couldn’t help but laugh. “Something like that. He never really took it seriously.”
“Well, I’m serious,” Rafe said, his tone suddenly more intense, though his smile remained. “And maybe you’ll have a better chance with me. Who knows?”
Y/N laughed softly, her thoughts momentarily drifting to JJ and the way things had shifted between them recently. After she left his home the night of Luke’s outburst things went back to normal quickly and that night was never brought up again. The pogues never changed, with Pope worrying about his summer reading and John B disappearing for hours citing a mystery that needs solving as a reason. JJ’s tour guide business was booming and he went back to eyeing Kie at group hangouts. This combination left Y/N wanting to see the group less and less. She shook her head, pushing the thoughts aside for now.
“So, what’s the plan?” Y/N asked, setting her board down on the sand. “We just gonna swim out and start paddling like a couple of idiots?”
Rafe snorted. “Pretty much. But you’ve gotta get the basics down first, and then we’ll take it from there.”
She turned to face him, eyeing the water in front of them. It looked calm enough, but she knew how deceptive the ocean could be. Still, the thought of being out there with Rafe, even with the awkwardness she sometimes felt around him, was strangely comforting.
They waded into the water, the cold ocean waves crashing around their ankles, and Y/N tried to keep her balance as she adjusted the surfboard beneath her feet.
“You remember the basics?” Rafe asked, his voice quieter now, as though he was assessing her readiness.
Y/N nodded, though she didn’t feel particularly confident. “I remember enough to fall flat on my face.”
Rafe chuckled, stepping up beside her. “Don’t worry. I’ll catch you if you fall.”
There was something in his voice that made her look at him, really look at him, for the first time in a while. His demeanor wasn’t just cocky—it was calm, almost protective. And for a moment, Y/N felt the weight of the night and the change in their relationship.
“I’m not a total beginner, you know,” she said, trying to hide the sudden feeling of vulnerability. “I’ll probably wipe out once or twice, but I’ll figure it out.”
Rafe shot her a sidelong glance. “I’m not worried. You’ve got a good attitude. You’ll get it.”
He stood beside her, both of them paddling out toward the deeper water. The quiet was nice, just the sound of their boards slicing through the water and the rhythmic rush of the ocean around them.
As they reached the spot where the waves began to form, Rafe turned to her, his expression serious. “Okay, Y/N. I’m gonna have you paddle and pop up at the same time. It’s all about timing.”
Y/N nodded, already feeling a little nervous. She wasn’t sure what to expect, but she trusted Rafe, even if she didn’t fully understand why. She had a feeling he was trying to teach her more than just surfing. But she wasn’t going to think too hard about that right now.
“Ready?” Rafe asked, his gaze meeting hers. There was something reassuring in his eyes, though it was quickly masked by his usual cocky grin.
“Yeah,” she said, nodding again. “Let’s do it.”
He paddled toward the first incoming wave, signaling her to follow suit. The water seemed to move with a kind of rhythm, and for a moment, Y/N felt herself getting caught up in it, the tension in her body releasing as she focused on the task at hand. The world outside of them—the drama, the confusion with JJ, everything—seemed to blur. All that mattered was the wave in front of her.
“Don’t forget the pop-up!” Rafe’s voice cut through the night, just as she felt the first wave start to pull her forward. She barely managed to push herself up onto the board, her body feeling stiff as she tried to find her balance.
For a second, she was standing, and she thought maybe this was going to work. But just as quickly, she lost her balance and crashed down into the water with a loud splash.
She resurfaced, laughing at herself. “Well, that didn’t work.”
Rafe was already paddling back toward her, grinning. “Don’t worry, that’s the first try. You’re getting the hang of it.”
Y/N wiped water from her eyes, giving him an exaggerated roll of her eyes. “If you say so. You should’ve seen the way JJ taught me. At least I’m not face planting into the sand.”
Rafe laughed, his voice warmer than she expected. “Hey, you’re doing better than I thought you would.”
Y/N smiled, feeling more at ease than she had in a while. For the first time in what felt like forever, she wasn’t caught up in her head about JJ or the others. She was just... here, with Rafe.
They tried again, and though Y/N wiped out once more, the sense of accomplishment from even attempting it felt good. Rafe stayed close, offering tips and words of encouragement that felt different from what she’d gotten in the past.
“Want to try again?” he asked, his voice softer this time, more serious than before. There was something in the way he looked at her, something almost protective, like he wanted her to succeed, not just because of surfing, but because he genuinely cared.
Y/N nodded, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
They spent the next hour on the water, laughing, talking, and occasionally falling, but each time, she felt herself getting a little better, a little more comfortable. Rafe didn’t push too hard, but he kept her focused, making sure she understood the mechanics of it.
By the time they made their way back to the beach, Y/N felt like she’d learned something more than just surfing. Maybe it was the way Rafe had opened up, or maybe it was the shared experience of being out there at night, away from everything. Either way, she knew that things were changing between them.
And though she didn’t realize it yet, Rafe was beginning to feel something too. But that was a thought he wasn’t ready to confront—at least not tonight.
---
Y/N flopped down onto the sand, stretching out her legs and feeling the coolness of the sand seep through her damp clothes. She let out a contented sigh, her heart still racing from the thrill of the waves. Rafe dropped down beside her with a light thud, wiping his wet hair out of his eyes.
“Okay, not gonna lie, I was expecting a lot more flailing,” Rafe teased, leaning back on his elbows and looking over at her. “I’m impressed. You only wiped out... what, three times?”
Y/N shot him a playful glare. “Excuse me? It was four. I’m counting the time I almost stayed on, but then I hit that stupid wave and face-planted.”
Rafe chuckled, his usual confident grin slipping into something more genuine. “Well, in that case, you deserve an award for ‘Most Improved.’ From barely standing to almost staying on? That’s basically a pro.”
Y/N rolled her eyes, but her smile betrayed her. “Oh, sure. ‘Most Improved.’ What’s next? ‘Most Likely to Get Pushed into the Water by Rafe?’”
“Now that would be an award you’d win,” Rafe quipped, his grin widening. “But you have to admit, you’ve come a long way from your first wave.”
Y/N groaned at the memory. “Ugh, don’t remind me. JJ was a terrible teacher. It was just ‘don’t fall,’ ‘good luck,’ and ‘try not to drown.’ He might as well have handed me a board and told me to figure it out myself.”
Rafe let out a soft laugh, but his eyes softened a little. “Well, you didn’t drown. That’s something. You might’ve had a few wipeouts, but hey, that’s surfing.”
Y/N gave him a sidelong glance. “You say that like you didn’t totally bail on that last wave too.”
He raised his hands in mock defense. “Hey, that was just an elaborate move to give you more space to shine. Didn’t want to make it too obvious I was carrying you through the session.”
Y/N snorted. “Oh, so now I’m ‘shining,’ huh? I thought I was the one struggling to stay upright.”
Rafe’s grin was playful, teasing her. “Well, you were struggling. But I like to think I was a good influence on your, uh, form. You should be thanking me.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Y/N said with a roll of her eyes, though her voice was warm. “I’ll put it on my ‘thank you’ list. Right after thanking JJ for almost making me break my neck out there.”
“See? If you’d just let me teach you from the start, you wouldn’t have needed to almost break anything,” Rafe shot back with a raised eyebrow, a little spark of humor in his eyes. “We could’ve avoided all the drama.”
Y/N laughed, the sound light and carefree. “Sure, next time I’ll take you up on that offer. But for now, let’s just pretend you didn’t totally bail in front of me.”
“Only because I didn’t want to make you feel bad about your wipeouts,” Rafe said with a smirk, nudging her with his shoulder. “You know, being a good friend and all.”
Y/N scoffed, nudging him back. “Uh-huh. Sure, let’s stick with that story. So, what else do you teach, besides making excuses for bad surfing?”
Rafe’s eyes flickered with amusement, but then, for a moment, his expression softened. He leaned back, staring out at the water, his tone shifting slightly.
“Honestly, I didn’t expect to be out here tonight. It feels good, though... getting away from everything.”
Y/N noticed the change in his voice but didn’t push it. Instead, she gave him a teasing grin. “What, the great expectations of your perfect life getting to you?”
He shot her a quick glance, a mix of amusement and something else she couldn’t quite place. “Something like that. It’s just... a lot. You know, with grade 12 and all that comes with it. I can’t even think straight sometimes. University stuff, family, the whole ‘do everything perfectly’ thing.”
Y/N raised an eyebrow. “I thought you had it all figured out. You’re the guy everyone looks up to, right?”
Rafe scoffed lightly. “Yeah, right. I’m just really good at pretending I have it together.”
“Seems to be working for you,” Y/N said with a grin, nudging him again. “You’ve got that ‘I’m a cool, chill guy who doesn’t care about anything’ vibe down.”
He laughed at that, but it was quieter, less confident than usual. “Guess I’m really good at that too. But... the truth is, I don’t feel that way a lot. Like, I feel like everyone’s counting on me to know what comes next, and I don’t.”
Y/N paused, her playful grin faltering for a moment. “You mean... your family’s putting pressure on you?”
Rafe’s gaze flickered to the horizon, his expression distant for a moment. “Yeah. They have their whole life planned out for me. The best schools, the right job, the perfect future. It’s like... I’m supposed to fit into this box they’ve already decided for me, and I’m not even sure it’s the one I want.”
Y/N shifted, sitting up straighter as she looked at him, her teasing smile fading into something more thoughtful. “That’s... a lot to deal with,” she said quietly, her voice softening. “I mean, I get it. Parents want the best for you, but they don’t always get to decide what’s best for you, you know?”
Rafe gave her a dry laugh, glancing sideways at her. “Yeah, that’s the problem. I don’t know what I want. It’s like, the more I think about it, the more it feels like I’m just... following a script. I don’t even know who I am outside of what they expect from me.”
Y/N studied him for a moment, her eyes narrowing in thought before she gave him a gentle, almost teasing smile. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I don’t know what I want either. I think the whole world’s just kind of... winging it, you know? Maybe that’s the point. Not everything needs to be figured out right now.”
Rafe raised an eyebrow, surprised by her response. “You don’t know either?”
She shrugged, a little smile playing on her lips. “I’m not pretending to have it all together. Who does? I’m just... trying to figure it out day by day. And honestly, I think you’ll get there. I mean, yeah, your family’s expectations suck, but they don’t have to define what you’re capable of. If you want to follow your own path, you can.”
He looked at her with a slightly skeptical look, then shook his head. “It’s not that simple.”
Y/N leaned back on her elbows, looking out at the waves, her voice more serious now. “No, it’s not. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. You’re not stuck with whatever they decide for you. You’re still young, you still have time to figure out who you are and what you want. It might take a while, and that’s okay.”
Rafe absorbed her words, his gaze still distant but a little less guarded now. “Yeah... I guess you're right. It's just hard to shake that feeling, like I'm already behind, you know? Like everyone else has it figured out.”
Y/N gave him a wry smile, nudging him with her foot. “You’re not behind. You’re just... not living in anyone else’s idea of what your life should be. That’s actually pretty damn impressive.”
Rafe snorted, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly in a half-smile. “Impressive, huh?”
“Yeah. Seriously. Not everyone can walk away from a path that’s already paved for them. Takes guts,” she said with a grin. “And maybe the fact that you’re thinking about it at all means you’re already ahead of the game. Everyone else is just... stuck in their little boxes.”
Rafe let out a long breath, a small smile tugging at his lips. “You’re way more insightful than I give you credit for.”
Y/N shrugged, still smirking. “It’s what I do. But, seriously, Rafe... don’t let anyone else decide for you. If you need to figure it out on your own, take the time. You’re allowed to take the time.”
He looked at her for a moment, clearly processing her words. “Thanks, Y/N. I needed to hear that.”
Y/N smiled back, her voice softening again. “Anytime. You’re not alone in this, okay?”
Rafe nodded, his shoulders relaxing a little. “I appreciate it. More than you know.”
She leaned back, turning her attention back to the ocean. “Well, if you’re ever in doubt, just remember: I’m always around to tell you how awesome you are... even if you do try to bail on waves every now and then.”
Rafe laughed, shaking his head. “Okay, now we’re back to you being a smartass. Much better.”
Y/N grinned, glad to see him lightening up again. “Hey, someone’s got to keep you in check.”
—-
A few days later, y/n found herself in the usual chaos of the Pogues. They gathered in the backyard of the Chateau, the soft hum of late-night music mixing with the sound of laughter and bickering for the first time since the bonfire. Everyone seemed to be in their element—JJ and Pope were in the middle of some heated debate about which local spot had the best surf conditions, Kie was perched on the porch railing, her legs swinging as she poked fun at them, and John B was sprawled across a lounge chair, half asleep, a grin on his face.
It was the same scene as any other night.
Except, for Y/N, it felt different tonight. She felt a strange detachment, like she was watching from the outside, looking in. Sure, she was there with them, part of the group, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that she didn’t belong. The conversations felt more distant, the jokes falling flat in her mind. She realized, with a sharp pang in her chest, how much things had shifted.
There was a time when she could dive into the banter, effortlessly teasing JJ or playfully arguing with Pope about anything. But now? She felt like an intruder. She couldn’t even remember the last time JJ had cracked a joke at her expense or dragged her into one of his pointless arguments. Instead, he was laughing with Kie, his attention entirely elsewhere.
The emptiness she felt was palpable. She hadn’t been able to talk to him properly in weeks, not since everything had gotten so complicated between them. And now, when they were together, it felt as though they were both just pretending. Pretending to be okay, pretending to be friends, pretending that things weren’t hanging in the air like an unspoken truth.
The warmth of the fire pit did little to ease her discomfort as she scanned the group. They all seemed so... effortless. So natural with each other. She used to feel like she was part of that flow. But now, more than ever, Y/N felt like a ghost in the background.
She found herself looking for a way out, a way to get some space from the group, but before she could move, JJ caught her eye. He was laughing about something Pope had said, his gaze meeting hers briefly before his expression faltered. He didn’t smile at her, didn’t make a sarcastic remark like he usually would. He just... looked away.
That was it. That small action sent a wave of frustration crashing over Y/N. He hadn’t even tried to make her feel like she was still there, still part of their tight-knit group. He’d been avoiding her, sure, but now it felt like he wasn’t even trying anymore.
“Everything okay?” Kie asked softly from beside her, breaking her train of thought. She had a way of reading Y/N, always able to tell when something was off.
Y/N forced a smile, but it felt weak. “Yeah, just... tired,” she said, but Kie wasn’t fooled.
“You sure?” she pressed, eyes narrowing with concern.
“I’m fine,” Y/N replied quickly, but her voice lacked the conviction she had hoped it would carry. She just didn’t know how to explain it, not without diving into a conversation that she wasn’t sure she was ready to have yet.
Kie, still watching her with a skeptical look, didn’t press further, but Y/N could feel the unspoken question between them. Was it about JJ? Was it about the way he’d been pulling away from her? Or was it about something deeper that even she didn’t want to admit to herself?
The moment stretched too long, and Y/N, desperate to break the silence, stood up abruptly, brushing the dirt off her jeans. “I’m gonna go get some fresh air,” she muttered, before walking away without waiting for a response.
The air by the dock was cooler, a sharp contrast to the heat of the fire pit. She walked aimlessly around the yard, her thoughts spinning in a whirlwind. It felt like everything was unraveling, and she had no control over any of it.
Before she knew it, JJ was behind her, his footsteps quick and urgent as he caught up. “Hey,” he said softly, the warmth of his voice a stark contrast to the tension she felt. “You good?”
Y/N turned to face him, her eyes narrowing. She wanted to tell him everything, to scream and throw all her emotions at him, but instead, she held back. She didn’t want to be the one to make the first move, not anymore.
“I’m fine,” she said again, but this time, her words felt hollow.
JJ didn’t buy it. “You’re not fine, Y/N. What’s going on?”
Y/N wanted to ignore him, to walk away, but the words had already started spilling out before she could stop them. “What’s going on? Really, JJ? You’ve barely spoken to me in weeks. You’ve been so distant. I feel like I don’t even exist to you anymore.”
He flinched at her words, his brow furrowing in confusion. “What are you talking about? We’ve been hanging out. We’re all good, right?”
“Are we?” Y/N shot back, the hurt bleeding into her voice. “Because it sure as hell doesn’t feel that way. We went from spending every minute together to barely seeing each other. You don’t even try to talk to me anymore, and when you do, it’s like you’re doing it out of obligation.”
JJ’s expression flickered, his jaw tightening as he stepped closer to her. He had a way of getting in her space, of making her feel like his presence was a force she couldn’t escape, even when she wanted to.
“You think I’m doing this on purpose? You think I want things to be like this?” His voice was quieter now, but there was an edge to it, a mix of frustration and guilt.
Y/N shook her head, her chest tightening with every word she spoke. “I don’t know, JJ. I don’t know what you want from me anymore. You’ve got this whole life that’s just... different from mine, and you’re pushing me out. You don’t get it.”
For a moment, JJ just stood there, his eyes scanning her face, as if trying to figure out what she meant. “So, what? You’re mad at me because I’ve been focused on other things?”
Y/N’s frustration boiled over. “I’m not mad, JJ. I’m just... tired. Tired of trying to hold onto something that isn’t there anymore.”
The silence stretched out between them. JJ opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, Y/N blurted out the words she’d been holding back for far too long.
“I love you, okay? I love you, and it’s breaking me that you can’t see me anymore. I used to be your best friend, JJ. But now? I’m just someone you pass by when it’s convenient.”
The confession hung in the air, heavy and raw. For a moment, JJ didn’t move, didn’t speak. He just stared at her, his face a mixture of surprise and something else—something she couldn’t name.
And then, without a word, he stepped forward, his hand reaching out, fingers brushing against her arm, pulling her gently toward him. She could feel his breath against her skin, his body close enough that it should have felt comforting, but instead, it felt like an intrusion.
His lips hovered near hers, but there was no fire in his touch. No spark of longing. Just... guilt. Obligation.
Y/N pulled away quickly, her heart racing. “Don’t,” she whispered fiercely, her voice trembling. “Don’t do that. Don’t kiss me because you feel sorry for me.”
JJ’s eyes hardened, his jaw clenching as he stepped back. “You think I’m just pitying you?” he spat, his anger simmering beneath the surface. “You think I’m that much of an asshole?”
“I don’t know what you are anymore,” Y/N said, her voice thick with emotion. “I’m done trying to make sense of this. You don’t get to just kiss me when you feel like it and then ignore me when it’s convenient. I deserve more than that, JJ.”
He took a step back, his face dark with fury. “You’re unbelievable, Y/N. I don’t know what you want from me, but I’m done with this.”
Y/N stood there, chest heaving, as JJ stormed off, his steps heavy against the grass. The door slammed behind him, leaving Y/N standing alone, her words still echoing in the silence.
She had said it. She had finally said it. And now, there was nothing left to do but walk away.
---
Next up: the scene that inspired this fic
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Taglist:
@hockeybabe87 , @idiotussupremus , @certifiedhaters , @oatmealisweird, @sluggmuffin
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A/N: I wrote this chapter last night at 2 then woke up and read through it with the shocked pikachu face
#obx4#obx#outer banks rafe#rafe cameron#rafe x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x y/n#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank#jj x reader
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I think a lot of people don’t seem to realise that every book does teach you something but not necessarily from a moralistic point of view; books with unreliable narrators and shady characters teach you that the world isn’t kind and that perception can be warped. That two truths can co-exist simultaneously and that people either intentionally or unintentionally lie to themselves and/or others as a means of self-preservation, gaining something for themselves, and/or simply because change and self-awareness are difficult when you lack the desire (for whatever reason) to do so.
However, let’s say you love the twisted character and you’re enjoying their deceptive nature, their manipulative engagement with others, and the self-centred actions they take. What does that say about you personally? The answer is way more simple than a lot of people assume; you enjoy learning about the darker aspects of human behaviour in a safe environment where that characters actions can never harm you.
You enjoy the violence because it’s not being directed at a real person. You cheer on the character because through the power of words you’ve found them compelling, exhilarating, relatable, disturbed, fascinating - they are a fictional lens of darker aspects that you can cheer on because they are solely comprised of words, or are portrayed by an actor, or are lines drawn on to a page.
Books can and do teach you empathy, injustice, a difference in perspective. They broaden your mind and give you comfort with the parts you may relate to. They push you out of your comfort zone and wrap you in a thrilling experience whereby you can escape from your troubles whilst seeking enjoyment.
But they are also fictional depictions and if you cheer for the villain that doesn’t mean you have failed morally. It means you found a fictional character compelling. If you enjoy the morally reprehensible events in a book, it means you like the fictional depiction of events - not that you condone those actions in real life.
I love Ramsey Bolton - from the shows granted haven’t yet finished the books - I cried when his character was no longer a central figure. That doesn’t mean I would go up to a real life perpetrator of such violence and congratulate them, cheer them on and demand they suffer zero consequences. Books teach you a lot about what you do and don’t like in fiction; what tropes, characterisations, themes and plots you prefer from ones you don’t. They can teach you right from wrong but that doesn’t mean they necessarily have to or that every book should. Many stories expect you to already understand morals before you crack the spine open.
Every book you read will be a journey of self-discovery, but that’s all every book should teach you really - more about yourself. What aspects intrigued you, excited you, and drew you in? Which repulsed you, and why were you offended, scandalised and uncomfortable during the reading process? Was that the fundamental purpose of the story or was there something in the text that hit a nerve?
I certainly have a purpose for what I personally write, but equally I write things for fun. When I write a morally reprehensible act it’s not because I want the take away to be - go forth and do these things - but simultaneously I want people to enjoy reading the scenes and find enjoyment in them.
I want whoever reads my stories to come away with some sort of understanding of themselves; whether it be a comforting aspect or an unsettling one - an understanding of new knowledge they didn’t have before the reading experience, or merely the cemented fact that they enjoy something they already knew they liked. I want them to learn they like my writing or for my writing to help them understand that something in the text - heck, maybe the whole book - just wasn’t for them.
Every piece of art we interact with will help us uncover something about ourselves however minor or major that discovery may be, and no matter or how brief or long our engagement with said artwork is.
Yes, books are teachable moments where morals are concerned, but if you’re using them purely as a moral testing means then I’m sorry (truly) but you’ve been unintentionally engaging with the art form in a damaging way.
“it sounds like you’re justifying their actions-“ i am. they’re a fictional character. i’m okay with anything they do all the time. hope this helps.
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Hi!! I’d love to see you do the prompt “Don’t tell me you love me unless you mean it.” with Logan! Was thinking of the reader who’s so self loathing of her own powers opening up for the first time towards Logan 🥺
warnings: angst/fluff, Logan has interesting teaching methods lol
600 follower drabble masterlist
wc: 1.2k
a/n: So this also...turned into more than a drabble oops. I got carried away I can't help it asdflk;h. Anyways I totally got inspired by ATLA for some of the logan pep talk if u can tell lol.
The mansion was so lonely. It shouldn't be but it is. Especially for you. Brought here as a child you grew up here. You were excited, hopeful that maybe you could start a new life here. But then your powers went haywire.
Just when you thought things could be different your emotions got the better of you. Fire raged through the mansion and you couldn't stop it. The more you panicked the worst it got.
When the flames were put out all you could see was the destruction that ravaged the once spotless mansion. It was an accident. Charles knew it and so did everyone else but that didn't stop the whispers, the fear. You never wanted this.
You did all you could to suppress your powers for years. Leaving the school and never looking back. Years passed and you managed to live a quite life. You went to work and went home. It was a lonely life but you couldn't hurt anyone so it you learned to live it.
Then one day you got a letter from Charles. It was a matter of such importance that you had no choice but to return. It was weird being back.
It was in the dead of the night that you found yourself alone. Just as you remembered. This time wandering through the halls of the mansion. Your fingers traced the familiar paintings and furniture. A frown coming over your face as you trace the faint scorch marks that still remain.
"So those were you." A deep voice startles you.
You feel a light flame escape your fingertips as you shove you cross your arms and hide your hands away. There stands Logan with a cigar in his mouth. You breathe a sigh of relief as you lower your arms.
"Sorry, didn't meant to scare you." He holds out his cigar and you roll your eyes. He's been trying to get you to use your powers, to light his damn cigars because he's too lazy to reach into his own pocket.
"Come on, just a little flame." He says with a smirk.
"Can I help you Logan?" Though you're glaring he can see that small smile.
You and Logan were unlikely friends as you put it. The two of you understood each other. Understood the want to hide away. Don't get close and you won't get hurt. Even with that mantra somehow you were each others exception.
Maybe it was stupid but having Logan was nice. He was nice in his own weird way. Looked out for you, joked with you on the rare occasion. Plus he was easy on the eyes, but you don't let yourself go there. Love...it's just not meant for you. You don't do love and neither does Logan. Even if you want it, even if sometimes he finds his way into your dreams.
"Nope." He gestures for you to follow him so you do. Walking quietly through the halls until he leads you outside. A chill washes over you step outside.
"Just a little light for me sweetheart?" Okay the first time was charming but now it's getting annoying.
"Will you quit it." You snap. Logan raises an eyebrow and you sigh. Sitting down on a bench and looking down at your hands.
"You know I don't use my powers anymore."
"I know."
"So why do you keep asking?" He shrugs and sits down next to you.
"Because, I think you're being ridiculous."
"Excuse me?" You scoff. You clench your fists as you glare at Logan.
"So what you burned some wood big deal. That really all it takes for you to run?"
You're hurt and confused where the hell this is coming from. You thought he'd understand you but clearly you were wrong.
"You know what Logan fuck you." You hiss as you stand up.
Logan grabs your wrist before you can walk away and in a fit of anger you push him away. Flames coming out of your hand and hitting him square in the chest. You gasp as his flannel catches fire. Without thinking you press your hand and kill the flame.
"Logan I-"
"Stop." He grabs your wrist and points to an empty fire pit.
"Light it."
"Logan I can't."
"Yes you can sweetheart," He tilts your head towards him. Looking at you with a sparkle in his eye.
"Trust yourself." You take a deep breath and send a fireball into the pit, lighting it up.
Your hand tingles as you use your powers for the first time in a long time. You wait for the other shoe to drop. For the fire to rage past what it's meant to be but it never does. Slowly you hold your hand out focus, the fire slowly gets smaller until it's snuffed out. You stare at your hand in awe. Control. You had control.
"Fire is destruction." Logan interlaces your fingers with his. He's got this smile that you've never really seen before.
"But it's also life, it's beautiful. You're beautiful." You bite your lip as he squeezes your hand. There's a fear that you'll burn him without thinking but he heals. You can't hurt him.
"Why are you helping me?" Why does he care this much? He didn't have to do this, you're not a student and yet here he is. Pushing you past your worries.
"I..." Logan tries to find the words. You're right he doesn't do this but he did for you because, well because..."I love you sweetheart."
Your eyes cloud with tears as you take in his words. He doesn't mean it can he? I mean, it's does he understand what that means. What it means to love you.
“Don’t tell me you love me unless you mean it. Please." You don't think you could handle it. He's already got your heart and it won't take much to crush it.
"Are you doubting me? I'm over a hundred years old I know what love feels like." Logan brushes your lips with his thumb, he's not great with words but he knows what he feels. No one can tell him any different.
Your eyes flutter shut as he kisses you. He smells like cigar smoke and he tastes like honey. The kiss a little rough, you can tell he's trying to hold back. To be gentle which he's not always great at. You pout when he breaks the kiss, already wanting more.
"Later." He promises after noticing the look on your face.
You walk back through the mansion hand in hand. It's better at this hour, no prying eyes and whispers. For now it's just you and him. Though something does cross your mind as you reach your room.
"Did you...Were you trying to make me mad on purpose?" He smirks and pulls out another cigar from somewhere.
"It worked didn't it?" Unbelievable.
"You're an idiot Logan, what if I couldn't control it? What if I burned down the mansion, again?!" Logan rolls his eyes and kisses you again. Pushing you against the door. Your thoughts turn to mush as he kisses your neck.
"You aren't the monster you think you are." He whispers and you freeze. His words hitting you like a brick. Logan knows what it's like to be a monster, a weapon. He's the monster if anything. But you? You could never be. Not in his eyes.
Before he leaves he hands you his cigar. You shake your head and laugh. Holding out your hand you produce a small flame and he lights his cigar.
"Was all this just so I could give you a light?" You ask teasingly. Logan chuckles and presses another kiss to your cheek.
"Absolutely." As much as you want to invite him in your room, you decide to wait. Rushing anything with Logan is the last thing you want. You want the time to be together. A good fire needs to grow before it becomes a roar.
"Goodnight Logan."
"Goodnight sweetheart."
Your fingers slowly unlace as he walks away. You don't want him to go, fearing that this is just a one off night. There's no way you can have control so easily but then he looks back at you. He's got this look on his face that makes you feel like everything is going to be alright and for once you believe it.
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Kinich x Reader
Where Kinich is jealous that you give Ajaw so much attention.
(Hello everyone again! This is a request that I loved doing LMAO it was a lot of fun, how Ajaw wants to piss off Kinich. Just enjoy it!)
The sun was already beginning to set on the horizon, tinting the sky in orange and pink hues as a gentle breeze swept across the prairies. You had moved away from the camp a little to enjoy a moment of tranquility before night fell completely, and sat down on a large rock to watch the sunset.
You had barely closed your eyes to enjoy the cool wind on your face when you felt a push on your legs. You didn’t need to open your eyes to know who it was.
“Ajaw… again?” You murmured between laughs, opening your eyes to find Ajaw insistently pushing himself against your knees. You let out a soft laugh as you began to gently scratch the base of his body. Ajaw let out a victorious smile as he looked at Kinich, closing his eyes as he received your caresses.
Ajaw wasn’t like a puppy or a dog, and everyone knew that, but with you, he behaved like a puppy in need of attention. The difference between his usual ferocity and the tenderness with which he curled up in your lap was almost surreal. Kinich often wondered what kind of magic you had used to tame such a beast.
“I can’t believe you’re indulging him again,” Kinich’s voice echoed behind you, tinged with a mix of disbelief and exasperation. He approached the camp, carrying a bag of supplies and wearing his usual expression somewhere between tired and annoyed. A few strands of his dark hair fell over his forehead, messy from the day.
“I’m not indulging him,” you replied, but the amused tone in your voice gave away otherwise. Ajaw, as if to make his point, rested on your lap and let out a deep sigh, closing his eyes in pure satisfaction as he snorted and smiled cruelly at Kinich.
Kinich frowned as he set his things down and crossed his arms. “That dragon has developed an unhealthy dependence on you. Don’t you realize you’re spoiling him?”
“He just needs a little TLC,” you replied with an innocent smile, your fingers gently caressing the dragons pixel scales. “Besides, who could resist this little face?” You leaned towards Ajaw, scratching the base of his jaw, causing the dragon to make a sound that resembled open laughter at Kinich, as if he had won a competition.
Kinich rolled his eyes, letting out a tired sigh. “I doubt the people in Natlan think the same when they see him spewing flames,” he grumbled, though his eyes couldn’t hide the spark of jealousy dancing in them.
Ajaw, always quick to pick up on human emotions, opened one eye and shot Kinich a mocking glance. With an exaggerated movement, he leaned even more weight on your legs and made a satisfied sound, as if to emphasize how much more he enjoyed your company compared to that of his human companion.
“Don’t start, Ajaw,” Kinich warned, pointing a finger at you. “You know you’re not helping.”
But Ajaw only responded with a disdainful snort before settling himself more comfortably in your lap. You petted his head again as if he were a puppy.
“Don’t be jealous, Kinich,” you said, shooting him a sidelong glance. “He just knows how to appreciate a good massage. Maybe you could earn one too if you’d stop growling so much.”
Kinich let out a snort, though there was a slight blush on his cheeks that didn’t go unnoticed by you. He sat down beside you with a sigh, surrendering to the scene in front of him. “Sometimes I think you like Ajaw more than me,” he muttered, feigning a hurt tone.
Ajaw, who clearly understood what was being said, raised his head and looked at you with a mischievous glint in his pixel eyes, as he said “Of course he prefers me, you useless human.”
“Don’t be like that, Kinich,” you replied, laughing softly. “You know I have enough affection for both of us.” You leaned towards Kinich and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek, just as Ajaw let out a grunt of jealusy.
Kinich looked at you with a resigned smile, though clearly pleased by your gesture. But his moment of victory was short-lived, as Ajaw decided to rub his body against your cheek, demanding more attention.
“Ajaw, stop it!” Kinich protested, gently pulling the dragon away from you. “Don’t be a hog!”
“Leave it, Kinich,” you said with a laugh, taking your boyfriend's hand and interlacing your fingers with his as you continued to pet Ajaw with your other hand. “At the end of the day, we’re a bit of a… peculiar family, don’t you think?”
Kinich looked at you, his dark eyes softening at the sight of the joy on your face. “I guess,” he said.
"A very peculiar family…"
And so, under the starry sky of Natlan, you found yourself between the warmth of your two companions: the stubborn warrior you loved so much and the old little pixel dragon who, somehow, had become your inseparable companion.
A strange combination, yes, but one that fit perfectly into the chaotic world you called home.
Here is my masterlist, in case you are interested in any more of my work or want to send me a request <3
#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact#genshin x you#genshin fanfic#genshin impact fanfic#genshin#kinich x you#idk how to tag this again#kinich genshin#kinich x reader#genshin kinich#kinich#kinich and ajaw#k'uhul ajaw#ajaw#genshin ajaw#natlan#kinich x y/n
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ATEEZ GETTING OUT OF THE FRIENDZONE
san x gn reader + mingi x gn reader (separated)
part 2 to ateez stuck in the friendzone! read that part so this makes sense
tw: slow burn + veeery dramatic + angst + fluff
a/n: both have the slowestttt slow burns in history of friends to lovers omg my heart did kinda break a little while writing them lol so keep in mind that both are VERY dramatic. maybe even cliche but honestly i just wrote what i, personally, enjoy reading. i’m just a girl in love with love 🥹
masterlist
SAN
san found himself attempting to hide his smile while you told him about your awful date from a few days ago. you were laying down with your head on his lap as san casually untangled strands of your hair, while you rambled on and on about the misfortunes he secretly thought were fortunes in disguise.
“who talks about their mother on the first date? like the whole time i mean, of course it’s okay to mention one or two things following the context of the conversation” you said, moving your hands dramatically to prove your point “but the whole time? i tried to switch the topic of the conversation towards work and can you believe he told me about what his mother does for a living before telling me what HE does for HIS?”
san couldn’t help but let out a loud laugh. you were so cute and he was so happy and relieved that the date had failed.
“he should go to therapy” he said, in between giggles. “right?! sigmund freud would have been thrilled to have him as a patient” you exclaimed, laughing too.
after a few moments of cracking jokes and laughing about the situation, you turned your head to face san. “so what about you?” you asked. he looked down at you, smile on his face still. “what about me?”
“have you gone on dates lately?” you asked. he threw his head back, shaking it slightly “with what time? i’m too busy with schedules” he answered, half lying. it’s true that he’s very busy with his idol duties, but he always managed to make time for you. he knows he could easily use up that time to go on dates, but for obvious reasons that you still were ignorant to, he didn’t. to you, he was just an introvert.
“but are you not interested in anyone?” you pushed, lifting your head and sitting up to face him properly. san chose to avoid your eyes, not trusting himself to keep his own secret. instead, he looked to the city on his right, suddenly finding the building architectures more interesting. he noticed that the air in the terrace got warmer too, and the concrete platform you were sitting on got harder. or was he the one that got warmer and stiffer? “no, i don’t think so” he lied, but you knew him enough to see through it. “liar, you’re blushing”
“well it is an intimate question” he answered, attempting to smile in order to play it off. you shook your head no “you blushed and your left eye twitched a bit. that was definitely a lie and as your best friend i want to know!” you exclaimed, grabbing his hands. if only you knew the effect you had on him.
when he came back from tour, he was determined to confess. but now that the perfect opportunity arose, he couldn’t open his mouth. questions and different negative scenarios plagued his mind, convincing him that maybe it was a bad idea. he much rather work on moving on than lose you as a friend.
“are they that special to you?” you asked, in a much quieter tone of voice, noticing his silence. he nodded, staring at your eyes, hoping you could notice the love they held whenever he looked at you. but despite his desperation, you didn’t. “they are very lucky then, you genuinely are amazing in every aspect sannie”. you continued, going back to your original place with your head on his lap, but still holding his hands. he kept staring at you, if only you knew.
“thank you” san managed to say.
———
“how fast can you come over to help me with something?” you asked san on the phone, as he exited the practice room. it was like the stars aligned, because he had just finished for the day. “i can come over right now, are you okay?” he asked, worried something may be wrong despite you sounding relatively okay. “i can’t pick an outfit and- shit my aunt his calling me, invite yourself in when you arrive, i’m in my room and you already know the lock number of the door” you said, before hanging up.
outfit for what?
———
so that’s how san found himself sitting on your bed on a friday night, numerous pieces of clothing scattered all over without care. he scrolled through some unread messages while he waited for you to try on a different outfit for your new date. yes, new date. as if his heart haven’t just healed from last time.
“i matched with someone on this app and they immediately invited me on a date so now i’m having a fashion crisis” you had explained to him as soon as he entered your room. why was it so hard for you to realize that your dates have been failing for a reason?
you appeared once again, now wearing an outfit that honestly took san’s breath away as soon as his eyes landed on your figure. it was nothing too extravagant, actually, it was rather simple, but it was enough to make san’s head spiral. specially when you twirled around to show the outfit from the back, since your shirt had an open back.
“so? what do we think?” you asked, eyes filled with hope.
san was conflicted: he was 100% sure he has never seen anyone look more beautiful, more dashing, more perfect. but, it wasn’t for him. he didn’t want anyone else to look at you like that, they would never come remotely close to the way he feels about you.
“san-?” you started to ask after a few seconds of silence, but got interrupted by him: “don’t go on that date”
you looked at him confused, as he stared back with the same surprised face. that really had slipped from his lips before he realized what he was saying. you fucked up big time san, he thought to himself.
“why? do i really look that bad?” you asked, turning around to face the mirror in order to examine your body and face. he noticed the way your eyes dimmed, as you carefully traced your eyes over your figure, finding little imperfections that made your face turn into a sad frown. san felt his own heart shatter at the sight, and before he knew, he stood up and quickly hugged you from behind, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.
“sannie?” you asked, startled by his sudden action and making you momentarily forget about the insecurities that started flooding your mind. you looked at him through the mirror: even if he was leaning down on you, he was still much wider, making you feel very small in his arms. unconsciously, you lifted your hand and patted his hair. san lifted his head, looking at you through the mirror as well, and your eyes interlocked.
“you’re perfect y/n” he whispered. “i’m sorry if i gave you the wrong idea, you look beautiful and your date is very lucky”. he was trying to be supportive, but traces of sadness and desperation were evident in his face. enough for you to notice. you turned around, and the same hand that was patting his head went down to his cheek, holding him in place to look at you.
“what’s wrong san?” you asked, softly. your thumb traced comforting circles on his cheek, and you could feel his arms tighten around you as he closed his eyes.
“go on that date” he whispered in a shaky voice, before adding “you look beautiful”.
you stared at him confused for a few moments, not really knowing what to say. then, he kissed your forehead and, with the little bit of strenght he had left in him, unwrapped his arms, stepping back. he grabbed his jacket and went to the door, but not before shooting you another sad look and saying “like i said, your date is very lucky”.
he left, heart in his hands, slowly breaking with each step.
you cancelled the date.
———
san couldn’t sleep that night, he kept tossing and turning as his mind wandered about what you were doing with your date. were you still having dinner? no, probably not since it’s like 2 am. maybe it went so well that you invited them over for coffee at your place, something that will probably lead to something else. something he didn’t even want to imagine, since it wasn’t him committing those sins.
maybe it was time to move on, after all. he wants you to be happy, truly, so if your happiness doesn’t include him, then he should at least be supportive. and in order to do that from the bottom of his heart, he should move-
*knock knock knock* he heard, coming from the door. he decided to ignore it, thinking that it was probably mingi, so he turned around and closed his eyes, pretending he was asleep.
“maybe he’s asleep, i should come back tomorrow but thank you soenghwa” he heard you say from behind the door. he never got out of bed faster, as he sprinted to the door and opened it widely.
there you stood, now dressed in a familiar oversized shirt and baggy pants. completely different from the outfit he last saw you on, but to him you still looked beautiful. you looked at him with wide eyes, as seonghwa smirked next to you.
“i’ll leave you alone” he said, before he made his way to his room and shut the door behind him.
you stood there awkwardly, avoiding his eyes. you came here with a question, but now that you had san right in front of you, thoughts were scattered all over your mind and you couldn’t say a word.
“come in” he said, sensing your internal dilemma. you nodded in response, as you entered and made your way to his unmade bed.
“did i wake you up?” you asked. san shut the door and shook his head “actually i couldn’t sleep”
“me neither” you said in a low voice.
“how was your date?” he asked, unsure of what to say. he sat next to you on the bed, looking at you while trying to decipher your expression. you turned your head to san’s bedside table, finding the small plushie you once gifted him randomly. you smiled. “i cancelled it”
“what? why?!” he asked, with surprised wide eyes. you turned back to him. “i suddenly didn’t want to go, that’s it really. so while i was tidying up my room i found this shirt” you said, fiddling with the ends of the shirt that looked a little too big on you “the one you once lent me after we got stuck in the rain that one time. i told you i would wash it and give it back, but i didn’t. why didn’t i give it back to you?”
san stared at you in silence.
“so i realized it still had your perfume, and before i knew it, i had put it on. then i started thinking about you, about us. you’re my best friend, you know? but as i was laying down on my bed, i was thinking: what if you were not? what if my dates always failed for a reason?” you continued, as your fingers reached for his. “what if the reason they always failed was because i always searched you in them? so again, before i realized i was standing in front of your apartment, but with one question in my mind”
san could feel his heart beat increase and his breath shorten.
“what will happen to us and our friendship if i told you how i feel? how i think i always felt even if i didn’t know it?” you asked, looking at him scared.
“you’re dumb” he said, loud enough for only you to hear. that didn’t surprise you, what did was the way he immediately let go of your hand in order to hug you close, bringing you closer to his body. “what will happen? how would i feel? y/n you’re dumb because that’s how i’ve been feeling for a long time now” he said, hands leaving your waist and craddling your face. san stared at you, and now you realized that his eyes looked different: they held love in them. something you always searched on random people in dating apps, yet were never able to find. instead, it has been right in front of you this whole time.
“i love you” he whispered, pressing his forehead against yours. finally, he thought. he finally said the words he has been keeping locked deeply inside him for years. you smiled, as your nose touched his. “i love you too, i’m sorry i just realized”
maybe it was time to give you the silver necklace he bought you on tour, since now the timing was right.
MINGI
mingi missed you, a lot. he hadn’t heard from you since you stormed out of his house a week and a half ago. he had left you a couple of texts apologizing, and even attempted calling you, but to no avail. you had disappeared, and he didn’t blame you, he was stupid enough to let you go. in fact, that’s the thing he regretted the most about the fight: not chasing after you.
so he did what he knew best: he took his misery and transformed it into work, to be precise, he wrote three songs, all about his feelings, the situation in itself and you.
three different scenarios that made him hear yunho’s voice calling him dramatic in his mind. to be honest, he knew he was being a little dramatic about the situation. he knew that you probably just needed time to cool down, and that if his apology was good enough you would forgive him in a heart beat, because, in the end, he knew you loved him. maybe not in the way he wished for, but you loved him nonetheless.
mingi stared at the ceiling in silence, wondering what were you doing while he layed on his bed feeling miserable. did you miss him too? were you also thinking about him? he was certain of one thing only: he wanted to see you. it didn’t matter to him if you opened the door or not, he needed to at least hear your voice through the door.
he checked the time: 11:47 pm, almost midnight. fuck it, he thought. he stood up and quickly got dressed in a speed record time, tied up his shoes and grabbed his keys and song notebook in the process. by 11:55 pm he was already closing the door of his car.
as mingi started driving, questions also started flooding his mind: will you hate him if he suddenly showed up? what if you had invited someone over? shouldn’t he have discussed this with one of his friends first just in case?
questions, questions, questions.
no answers.
soon enough, he found himself standing in front of your apartment door. he could easily ring the door bell, knock on the door or simply use the spare key you gave him once for emergencies. yet, he was unable to do any, frozen in place as he mentally debated on what to do.
mingi decided to do something odd, something he would have probably laughed at if he saw it in one of the movies you usually forced him to watch with you: he took out his pen and notebook, ripped off one of the pages and wrote on it. then, he slid it under the door and left.
“i’ll tell you everything -m”
———
you have always been a hopeless romantic, mingi knew that perfectly well. you believed in happy endings, and that love and friendship can win over everything. so why hasn’t he heard from you still? did you not get the note? should he leave another one? no, that would be too pushy, it was only two days ago.
questions, questions, questions.
still no answers.
mingi was sulking again, and honestly it started to worry seonghwa and san, who watched as he walked back to his room right after dinner, without saying a word during the whole night. honestly, he was just too lost in his thoughts. their pair exchanged a look, before following him.
“mingi, hold up, everything okay? you’re more… distracted than usual” seonghwa said, carefully choosing his words. mingi hummed in response, nodding as he stopped in his tracks. “yeah, there’s just a lot in my head” he answered, not looking at his friends. “let us hear it then” san said, patting his back and leading them towards the living room.
the trio sat down on the sofa they had bought a few months ago, the one you had scolded them about because it seemed very expensive and too hard to clean. they had all laughed, but soon enough realized you were right when mingi spilled a bit of sauce on it. the stain was still there.
“so? what’s wrong?” seonghwa asked once they all got comfortable. mingi sighed, looking down before he started spilling everything that had happened, from two weeks ago until now. he noticed the eldest nodding along the story, but neither of them said anything until he finished.
“when exactly did you leave this note?” san asked, fidgeting with his bracelet. “two days ago” mingi answered. san’s eyes went wide, as he muttered a small fuck before he sprinted towards the kitchen. seonghwa and mingi exchanged a look, both equally confused at their friend’s actions. after a few moments and very weird sounds that came from the kitchen, san appeared again, with a crumbled up yellow post it in his hand. he handed it to mingi.
“the hell is this? it has food stains san, gross” mingi said with a disgusted face as he barely touched the paper. “open it, i found it this morning” san said, sitting down next to him again. mingi gave his friends a strange look, before carefully opening the crumbled up piece of paper. as he read, his eyes widened in surprise.
“what time is it?!” he exclaimed. “9 pm” seonghwa answered, checking the time in his phone. mingi muttered a small fuck, before putting his shoes on, and grabbing his bag.
“i’ll be back in a while” he said, before shutting the door behind him.
seonghwa looked at san, confused. “what the hell did the paper say?” he asked. san picked it up from the floor and showed it to him:
“8 pm, our special place”.
the hand writing was yours.
———
mingi was almost sure he broke one or two speeding laws on his way to the park where he hoped you were still waiting at. he cursed san for not telling him sooner, even if he knew it wasn’t really his fault to begin with. the park wasn’t far from his apartment though, just a short 10 minute drive. as cliche as it sounds, it was the park were you both met.
at that time, around 6 years ago or so, his mind revolved around perfection, hard work, pressure, debut. so he would succumb to overwhelming feelings pretty often, that forced him to need some time alone. that’s how he found a park nearby, and specifically, one peculiar tree that caught his attention for some reason. he used to sit down under it, notebook on his lap and pen between his fingers, as he scribbled down some random thoughts that plagued his mind during hard moments. he didn’t really plan to turn his words into songs yet, it was just his way to deal with stress. he used to find these little moments very special: it was like he was reconnecting with his inner, truer self, and not the mean facade he wore in front of his soon to be members. yeah, some of them irked him, like that wooyoung guy, but he didn’t mean to be that rude all the time. so, to escape the constant pressure kq fellaz was facing in between the company walls, he found solace in a park, but specifically, he found solace under that tree.
he could remember the day he met you like it was yesterday. he remembers all the stress he was feeling, debut date coming closer and closer. everyone was on edge, from the members to the staff. he had also recently come back from morocco after successfully shooting his first music video! but he couldn’t deny it: as much as he was excited, he was already feeling a little tired. he needed some alone time, just himself with his thoughts. so he found himself walking towards his favorite spot in the park.
only to find you there, sitting down under the tree. his tree to be precise. and you were writing on a pink notebook with a fluffy pen. mingi felt like he was looking at a reflection of himself, but instead of being comforted by it, he felt annoyed. it was HIS tree after all!
“excuse me, this is my spot” he said, coming into your field of vision. you looked up to him, pausing your hand and taking an earphone off. “excuse me?”
“this is my spot” he reiterated, making you chuckle slightly. “the tree you mean? does it have your name or something?” you asked, finding the situation hilarious. he rolled his eyes in annoyance, why did nothing go his way?! “listen, i had a shitty day and i need to sit there for a while, so can you leave?”
“no, i got here first. plus there are tons of other trees here, it’s a park after all” you said, putting your earphone back on and turning your gaze to your notebook. he stayed still in his place in front of you, making you huff in annoyance at his persistence. “look dude, i am not going to move. you can either sit on the opposite side or leave, i don’t care but stop bothering me” you continued.
mingi really really reaaaally needed to be at his safe place, too overwhelmed to funcion rationally, so he rolled his eyes and sat on the opposite side of the tree.
that’s how the story started: at opposite sides of the tree. soon enough it got replaced by sitting nearby, and eventually next to each other. some times you would even bring snacks to share in silence, as you both wrote down your thoughts on your respective notebooks. once he debuted, he broke the silence for the first time, urging you to listen to his song. after that, you started talking more, about music, shows, your respective jobs and life in itself. the safe place you both found under the tree, was also found in each other, quickly realizing you often shared the same thoughts and views about the world.
the story started under a tree, and he hoped it wouldn’t end there too. he needed you to be there, because he wasn’t ready to lose not only his best friend, but also his safe place. even the tree would become stained from the pain. and he would have nothing left, just questions, questions, and more questions about different what ifs.
you weren’t there.
but mingi wasn’t about to give up anytime soon. he started running towards the direction of your apartment, forgetting that he had parked the car on the opposite direction. his legs were aching, and he felt like he was a bit out of breath, despite all the idol training he has been enduring for six years. but he kept running.
until he spot you in the distance.
“y/n!” he yelled. he saw you stop in your tracks and turn around to his direction, confused at the sudden call of your name. once you spotted him running towards you, you sprinted to him.
his body collapsed against yours, as he hugged you tightly, like you would disappear if he let you go. mingi hid his face in the crook of your neck as you wrapped your arms around his back. you could hear his quick heart beat from how close he held you, and you were sure he could hear yours too.
after a while, mingi lifted his head from your neck, and looked at you. “why are you crying?” he asked, wiping away the tears with his thumbs. “i thought you wouldn’t come, why are you crying mingi?” you asked, repeating his own actions, but on his cheeks. he giggled, he didn’t even realize he was crying. “i thought i lost you” he said, truthfully.
the park was dark, the only lights came from street lights. so, for outsiders, you probably looked like a random couple having a dramatic moment. definitely not mingi from idol group ateez and his best friend y/n reconciliating.
“i’m sorry” he whispered, locking his eyes with yours. they still held tears, that threatened to spill depending on your answer. you shook your head “no, i’m sorry mings, i shouldn’t have walked away like that. plus i didn't even give you a chance to explain”.
“i’m sorry for not showing you the songs, for not chasing you, and for being too much of a coward to not face you directly” he apologized. you hugged him again, shushing him. “i shouldn’t have pressured you to show me, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do”
mingi looked at you again, and bit his lip. “can i still show you though?”
“it’s not necessary, mingi, it’s fine real-“ you started saying before he interrupted you, taking your hand and leading you towards the same old place from before. “i want to” he said, determined.
you let him whisk you away.
———
back at the peculiar tree that was iluminated enough by a street lamp a few meters away, he sat you down at your usual spot. he sat down beside you, as he pulled out his notebook from his bag. mingi gave it to you.
“mingi, this really isn’t necessary-“ you started saying once again. “please” he interrupted, with pleading eyes. so you took his notebook and opened it on the first page. you already read that song, it was the first one he ever wrote a long while back. “read the last ones”
you turned the pages, until you found them. mingi looked at you nervously, starting to feel fidgety at the thought of you realizing his deepest secret, the only one he hid from you. he just hoped you wouldn’t hate him. he scanned your face, puffy eyes filling with tears once again as realization hit you. you turned your gaze back to him with wide, surprised eyes.
“mingi- what? wait, hold on” you stammered, as tears fell from your eyes. you quickly set his notebook aside to grab your own bag, taking out your new pink notebook, your diary. you handed it to him, saying: “open it on august 5th”
he stared at you confused, and slightly unsure too, since you’ve always been pretty secretive about what you wrote there. he found the page and read:
“august 5th.
so i realized something, that i’m almost too afraid to write even here. i’m scared that if i admit it, i’ll have to face a sad reality. i think i’m in love with my best friend, isn’t that stupid? that’s how i feel, at least. i haven’t seen him in a while because of his work, and i feel like i’m slowly losing my mind. why do i only feel complete when he’s with me? scratch that, why am i even writing this?
anyways, i’ll probably die with the secret”
“now turn to september 16th” you said, avoiding his eyes.
“september 16th.
i’m in love with my best friend. i love mingi. how insane is that? and how stupid? he is my best friend, for god’s sake. but i can’t help the way i feel, specially when he’s so annoyingly observant. like for example, the other day he noticed my pen was dying, so today he surprised me with a new fluffy pink pen. i hate him for making my heart swell at such gestures. specially because i know I KNOW that’s what best friends do.
anyways i’m not gonna use his pen because i decided i’m going to preserve it forever”
“and now, tun to november 10th” you muttered. mingi realized it was yesterday’s date.
“november 10th.
i still love him. and i fucked up. but i’m still in love with him”
he closed your notebook, turning towards you. he found you with your face on your knees, as you hugged your legs, too embarrassed to face him, despite now knowing his feelings. he loves you too, with the same devotion, with the same desperation and intensity. mingi loves you, his best friend.
“look at me, y/n” he whispered. you slowly lifted your head, hesitantly looking at him. the way you both looked at each other held more intimacy than ever. mingi slowly reached for you, bringing your face closer to his. his hold was shaky, almost unsure, this was a whole new territory. he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
“i love you” he admitted.
too many questions, that finally got an answer.
“i love you too” you whispered.
taglist: @yoongles2025 @reallychaoticwoo
(to be added please let me know)
#ateez headcanons#ateez x reader#ateez imagines#ateez scenarios#choi san x reader#choi san imagines#san scenarios#san imagines#san x reader#san heacanons#san fluff#ateez fluff#ateez angst#san angst#mingi imagines#mingi scenarios#mingi x reader#mingi fluff#mingi angst#song mingi x reader#song mingi headcanons#song mingi imagines
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The only “dense motherfucker” is one that believes it is women that must do so (make men feel comfortable) for men. You live in a society highly governed by your fellow males, if anyone is making you feel “bad” or “sad” it is because of the rules and laws created by your fellow males. Why should women who have been oppressed and subjugated for years, and are still subjugated by a different name care for your hurt that is caused by other men.
The biggest threat to women is men, the biggest threat to men is other men. At these your big ages, you would think that half a braincell would have formed by now. There is nothing that men will do now that they have not already done in the past. This is why women’s history and their experiences with the men they loved is very important for young girls to know. That way they don’t fall into the trap of “if you show them love, they will change and be kind.” Stop trying to put women in dangerous situations under the guise of loving all humans.
You have to be small minded to think women treat all men the same, your kind needs their ego stroked. Which is why women/girls are required to say “but not all men” when discussing things that disproportionately affect them. No one owes you love, but as humans we owe each other some sense of respect. So, you must respect women’s decisions to interact with you how they feel safest doing. The same way women have learned to respect that not all men are going to respect them. Only a dense pig would think that women do not understand the concept of viewing others as humans. In fact, time and time again it is women that are viewed as less than human by the same group you’re forcing them to care for.
As women (regardless of age), and especially as black women (moving away from the POC bs) you should prioritize your safety, you are not mother Theresa (even she was proven to be a fraud) and should focus on your own wellbeing. Don’t let an idiot calling you “dense” put you in situations many never come out of alive. As someone who has a male in her life that would do anything to see her happy and accomplished (and vice versa), I don’t go around with rose colored glasses trying to change anyone’s opinions because they chose to adopt an ideology that demonizes the living experiences of others. If being called “brother” is the only way you feel welcomed, then you need to rethink your entire life. Once you’re above 25, I implore that you try using at the very least 1/3 of your brain. I know using even half would probably cause a headache, so for now let’s aim to use 1/3.
Also you bring up the fact that men disproportionately hold more seats of power, so maybe direct your sadness to the people actively causing it. Which is the men in power not caring about the broke men (any man not in power). “It won’t pan out great for anyone who is not a male” because this is what males have done throughout history (I know you used man, but I used male for a specific reason and no I’m not a terf, but I don’t care about being called that). What a pathetic thing to say, especially if you’re not the man in power. This is an issue that egotistical idiots have (not calling you an idiot, but it is what it is), claiming men created this and that, when your ancestors are not the men that created it. Stop claiming power you personally don’t have. Stop claiming other men’s hard work as your own, especially when they put in the work to actually be productive members of society.
To the original twitter post, my dude you sound very stupid and seem like the kind that spends more time watching videos than actually reading on your countries history. The win was predictable, not because “men are becoming more right wing” but because this has been a common theme in America. These people are influenced by certain kind of media because deep down they already hold these beliefs, which is why they accept them. Men don’t genuinely want to see equality, hence why when they notice any group they view less than getting more rights they retaliate. The election result only tells us the reality of America as it pertains to race and sex (even more so when we look at the outcome of certain women’s voting history). So, the replies need to stop trying to make women take the blame for actions caused by other men. We should all aim to grow up.
To all the women/girls out there, avoid men that always want to be coddled and victimized. Most importantly find ways to protect yourselves, utilize the 2nd amendment given to you not by all men, but by the men that actually wrote it in. Protect yourselves by all means, and don’t be made to feel guilty for opting for safety over danger and stress.
Edit: have come to the conclusion after reading a substantial number of replies, Tumblr has a significant number of idiots who think they are smart. As a collective, we should all go touch grass.
I couldn't have said it better myself.
#men#women#misogny#misandry#intersectional feminism#radical feminism#feminism#presidential election#election 2024#red pill#blue pill#victim mentality
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America’s richest Medicare fraudsters are untouchable
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/13/last-gasp/#i-cant-breathe
"When you're famous, they let you do it": eight words that encapsulate the terrifying rot at the heart of our lived experience, a world where impunity for the powerful trumps the pain of their victims.
"Populism," is shorthand for many things: rage, despair, distrust of institutions and a desire to destroy them. True populism seeks to channel those totally legitimate feelings into transformative change for a caring and fair society for all. So-called "right populism" exploits those feelings, using them to drive a wedge between different groups of victims, turning them against each other, so that elites can go on screwing the squabbling factions.
The far-right parties that are marching to victory through a series global elections are different in many ways, but they all share one trait: they appeal to mistrust of institutions, claiming that the government has been captured by elites who serve them at the expense of the governed. This has the benefit of being actually true, and while the fact that far-right parties are owned by these government-capturing elites might erode their credibility, the fact that so many "progressive" parties have stepped in to defend the institutional status quo leaves an open field for reactionary wreckers:
https://www.politico.com/blogs/2016-dem-primary-live-updates-and-results/2016/02/hillary-clinton-donald-trump-slogan-219908
Why would voters turn out to support a "Department of Government Efficiency," run by a bully whose career has been defined by abusing the people he is in charge of? Maybe they're turkeys voting for Christmas, but they also have personal, traumatic experience with government departments that protected the abusive corporations that preyed on them.
Today on Propublica, Peter Elkind tells the incredible story of Lincare, the nation's leading supplier of home oxygen, a repeat-offender fraudster and predator that has made billions in public money without any real consequences:
https://www.propublica.org/article/lincare-medicare-lawsuit-settlements-oxygen-equipment
Lincare has been repeatedly found guilty of defrauding Medicare; in this century alone, they have been put on probation four times, with a "death penalty" provision that would permanently disqualify them from ever doing business with the federal government. In every case, Lincare committed fresh acts of fraud, but never faced that death penalty.
Why not? Lincare is far too big to fail. In America's bizarre, worst-in-class, world-beatingly expensive privatized health care system, even public health provision (like Medicare) is outsourced to the private sector. Lincare has monopolized oxygen, a famously very important molecule for human survival, and if it were disqualified from serving Medicare, large numbers of Americans would literally asphyxiate.
Lincare clearly knows this. Too big to fail is too big to jail, and too big to jail is too big to care. They are the poster children for impunity, repeat offenders, multiply convicted, and still offending, even today. Lincare has been convicted of fraud under the administrations of GW Bush, Obama, Trump and Biden, and they're still in business.
What a business it is! Elkind takes us to the asbestos-poisoned town of Libby, Montana, where more than 2,000 of the 2.857 population suffer from respiratory diseases from the open-pit mine that operated there from 1963-1990. The elderly, dying population of this town rely on Medicare and Medicare Advantage oxygen concentrators to draw breath, and that means they rely on Lincare.
That means they are prey to Lincare's signature scam: charging Medicare (and 20% co-paying patients) to rent an oxygen concentrator every month, until they have paid for it several times over. This is illegal: under federal rules, patients are deemed to have bought their oxygen concentrators after 36 months and contractors are no longer allowed to charge them. Lincare doesn't give a fuck: the bills keep coming, and Lincare patients who survive long enough have paid the company $16,000 for a $799 gadget.
When Brandon Haugen, a local Lincare customer service rep, noticed this and queried the company's home office in Clearwater, Florida (home to Scientology and the Flexidisc), he was given the brushoff. After multiple attempts to get company leadership to acknowledge that this was illegal, he quit his job, along with his colleague and childhood friend Ben Montgomery. Between them, Haugen and Montgomery had 14 children who depended on their Lincare paychecks. Despite this, they both quit and turned whistleblower, with no job lined up. Eventually, Lincare paid $29m to settle the claim, with $5.7m to the whistleblowers and their lawyers. For Lincare, this was part of the cost of doing business and the fraud rolls on.
Lincare doesn't just defraud Medicare, they also have a high-pressure commissioned sales force that has repeatedly been caught defrauding Lincare customers – overwhelming sick, poor, elderly people. Patients are pressured to accept auto-billing, then Lincare piles medically dubious gadgets onto their monthly bills, as well as useless, overpriced "patient monitoring" services. Customers with apnea machines are mis-sold ventilators by salesmen who falsely claim these are medically necessary.
Salespeople illegally auto-shipped parts and consumables for Lincare machines to patients, then billed them for it. To satisfy the legal requirement that they telephone patients before placing these orders, sales agents would call patients, put them on hold, then part the call until the patient hung up.
Salespeople are motivated by equal parts greed and terror. Make quota and you can get up to $8,000 per month in bonuses. Miss that punishing quota and you're out on your ass (which is why one salesperson ordered a medically unnecessary ventilator).
Lincare also habitually ignores requests to pick up medically unnecessary equipment, because so long as the equipment is on the patient's premises, they can continue to bill for it. As one Ohio manager wrote to their staff: "As we have already discussed, absolutely no pick-ups/inactivation’s are to be do[ne] until I give you the green light. Even if they are deceased." Execs send out company-wide emails celebrating regional managers who have abandoned pick-ups, like a Feb 2022 "Achievement Rankings" email that touted the fact that most regional centers had at least 150 overdue pickups.
Lincare represents a deep, structural rot in American society. They are too big to punish, and too powerful to regulate. A 2006 law meant to curb oxygen payments was gutted by industry lobbyists. Today, Congress is weighing legislation, the SOAR (Supplemental Oxygen Access Reform) Act, which will allow Lincare to bill the public for hundreds of millions more every year, raising rates and eliminating competitive billing. The bill is supported by patient advocates who are rightly interested in getting oxygen to patients who have been locked out of the system, but the cost of that inclusion is that Lincare will be even more firmly insulated from its corruption.
The Trump Administration will doubtless crack down on some of America's worst companies, and the furious voters who elected the only candidate who campaigned on the idea that America was rotten will cheer him on. But Trump has made it clear that he will select the targets of his administration based on whether they are loyal to him or stand in his way, without regard to whether they harm his supporters:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/12/the-enemy-of-your-enemy/#is-your-enemy
Companies like Lincare, repeatedly caught paying illegal kickbacks, know how to play this game.
Image: p.Gordon (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Smoke_bomb_with_burning_fuse.jpg
CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en
#pluralistic#oxygen#monopoly#medicare#medicare fraud#impunity#propublica#lincare#DHHS#HHS#health and human services#department of health and human services#kickbacks#Greg McCarthy#Jenna Pedersen#selective enforcement#too big to fail#too big to jail#Crispin Teufel#Jeff Barnhard#asbestos#Christi Grimm
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Unconventional format / mixed media / meta / epistolary fic ideas:
Script format but the characters slowly break fourth wall until they grow self aware and scream to leave but the script confines them.
Mock up notes of an author's fic outline only for a "fan favourite" / "author's darling" character to gain sentience and influence the story. The character changes the outline to suit their own agenda, and their changes are marked with a different colour whereas black text means it's the author's will. Maybe another character using another colour gains sentience. The different colours fight for dominance. Mom says it's my turn with the keyboard hey what the fuck man excuse me I'm literally trying to save my family can you guys let go and let me write your character arcs in peace OH FUCK OFF
Recipe fic. The story is told via those unnecessarily long backstories on a recipe blog in which you learn about someone's grandma or a breakup or literally anything. Bonus points if the actual recipe deals with worldbuilding (what ingredients are available? What utensils are used? How to serve this meal? Woohoo Dungeon Meshi) or in-cheek recipes (eg. "Recipe for making up with your estranged mother - Step 1: Mix patience, nostalgia, and filial piety and let it marinate for ten years. Step 2: Throw that shit into the trash because you're better than that")
Travel fic. A character is lost and trying to find their way somewhere. GPS directions, googling "x place to x place", tickets and dates, train station maps, leaflets. It gets weirder and weirder. You never get closer to your destination. You're walking around in circles. It's always 10 meters away. Where are you going and where have you been?
Receipts. Try to infer what a character is doing judging from the weird things they buy together. Also yipppee inflation tracker. On the other side, maybe it can be about a cashier/ shop owner getting to know their customers and what they order.
Written from the pov of an non-native English speaker, all the English words are italicized whereas their native tongue are the only words not italicized. Inspired by Kupu rere kē by Alice Te Punga Somerville. This is because I got salty about people from Ao3 Reddit saying they won't read a fic in all italics.
Murder mystery / "Among Us" style impersonation fic strictly using the chatfic format. Characters and readers will have to figure out which character has been killed and replaced from the way they text and use emojis. This is also because I got salty about Ao3 Reddit being a wee bit pretentious about emoji usage in fics. Maybe emojis can be important plot devices! Some people prefer to sign off messages with a heart emoji of their signature colour, so won't it be weird if they use another coloured heart? How about someone using lapslock suddenly using proper capitalisation and full stops? Can you tell if someone's phone has been stolen? What if someone's mother is pretending to text like their child? Why is someone suddenly only using UwU speak? Is it a bit, or have they been replaced?
Innocuous second person POV until the last line where it's suddenly revealed to be first person POV all along and the "I" has been stalking and narrating "you".
Other fun bits / Easter eggs / secrets to hide:
Decoding within the text itself. Maybe we get given instructions to find a word in x chapter on page y on the nth line. And when we as readers collect all the words, they form a sentence that spells out an important fact which the characters are oblivious to. Or maybe the in-universe characters find a book with the same title as the irl fic with a bookmark in it, and if you go to where the bookmark is stuck irl, you'll find the murderer plainly stated. The rest of the fic is about the readers having hard confirmation of who the murderer is while characters don't know.
A phrase is subtly repeated throughout the text of the fic and is spelled out with the letter that begins a sentence. It gives off the effect that the narrator is screaming and crying into the void (to the readers in the fourth wall) while trying to avoid detection. Bonus points if the same word is repeated for pages and pages to the point the lack of sentence variation feels weird and clunky.
Morse code!! I love morse code! Using onomatopoeia to convey the dots and dashes! The sound of rain pattering on the tin rooftop— drop, drop, drop. A low whistle of a train rumbling in the distance. He slowly sharpens his knife, creating a shiiing sound. A lengthy, high pitched squeal from his kettle. A dog barks. A sharp knock. His heart thumps. Dot dot dot, dash dash dash, dot dot dot. SOS. Maybe a character's death scene spells out the name of their mysterious murderer. Maybe a character is reminiscing their deceased loved one and the scene spells out what the deceased person would've wanted to tell them— "LIVE ON" or "I LOVE YOU" or something.
#ria.txt#writing#writeblr#i love unconventional formatting and whimsy#the morse code thing is from a spopera fic i never finished lol#ao3 reddit makes me creative in an annoying and contrarian way
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Today was a bittersweet day – the last day of the three-month parental leave Steve had taken when their daughter Robbie was born before he headed back to his counseling job.
Eddie knows that Steve is feeling torn a few different ways about going back to work.
On the one hand, Steve loves his job, and he’d worked his ass off earning his doctorate so he could be a trauma therapist just like he’d planned. Kids had also been a part of his plan, obviously, but as more of an in addition to type of way, rather than instead of when it came to his career. Eddie knows this, and he knows that Steve is excited to go back, to reconnect with his patients after three months apart.
Eddie also knows that their kids are everything to Steve in a way his job will never be (duh), and Eddie had seen the way Steve refused to ignore the gravity of today – the last day he doesn’t have to share his time with anything other than their daughters.
Steve had been emotional about going back to work in a similar way the first time around with Moe, and he’d called home about eight or nine times during his first day back in the office, asking how things were going and if he’d missed anything. Now, Moe is two-and-a-half (and some change, if they’re being technical), and Robbie just hit the three-month mark a few days ago. This time, Steve had done his best to split his time between their two daughters, and it’s not all that different from their normal day-to-day, honestly, just…something heavier in the air, maybe.
Now, Moe’s all fresh and clean from her bath, her bangs slicked back with the rest of her damp hair (Steve had put on a whole show of planting kisses all over her forehead and saying, “is this where you’ve been hiding your brilliant brain from us?” which always sends Moe into giggling hysterics), and Steve’s got her all bundled up in a big fluffy towel, snuggling her close with one arm as he balances Robbie on his chest with the other, all of them piled into a rocking chair while Eddie sits stretched out on Robbie’s rug.
“I’m probably not gonna be home when you wake up tomorrow morning,” Steve tells Moe, and it’s not the first time he’s brought up this particular subject today, but, y’know…toddlers. Really gotta nail in the point sometimes with toddlers, “‘Cause I’m going back to work, so I have to leave early to drive into Boston.”
“Why do you hafta drive to Boston?” Moe asked.
“Because that’s where my office is. Remember a few weeks ago when we visited my office?”
“Yeah and they met Robbie.”
“That’s right,” Steve nodded, “Everyone I work with met Robbie. I got to take a break from work when Robbie was born, and now it’s time for me to go back.”
Moe’s eyebrows are furrowed.
“But…I don’t want you to go.”
“I know, bug,” he tells her, “I miss you and Robbie and Daddy like crazy when I’m not home with you.”
“So why don’t you take more break?”
“I sorta took all the break I’m allowed to, sweet pea. It’s time for me to go back to work.”
Eddie looks at Moe, sees the cogs turning in her little brain as she tries to figure out a way to convince her dad to stay home with her.
“But what if you just don’t work anymore?”
It’s a good question, Eddie knows, and she’s not the only one asking it.
Not too long after Robbie’s arrival, when Max and El had come to visit and meet the new baby, Max had privately asked Eddie if he thought Steve might throw in the towel on the whole career thing this time around. Again, it’s a fair question for anybody who really knows Steve, anybody who sees how much he loves their kids and how much he loves being a dad, even if Eddie knows the answer is no. Still, it’s a close no.
Steve hums sympathetically, “Maybe someday, but I like my job. I get to help people, and I worked hard in school to be able to do that. Someday you might decide you want to have a job where you do more school and get special degrees.”
“Like what kinds of jobs?”
“Like a doctor or a lawyer, or maybe you want to work in a lab and do research on something. It’s a big world, Moe, and you can do whatever you set your mind to."
"I want to be an astronaut," Moe tells them.
"Well, there you go."
"Or I wanna be a cookie."
"Oh-" Steve's eyebrows furrow as Eddie starts to laugh. "Alright..."
"That's my girl," Eddie says, "Astronaut or pastry. I like it."
#steve calls the house no less than ten times the next day#and despite this conversation moe still is piiiiiissed when she wakes up and finds out steve is gone#eddie: babe we talked about this#eddie: multiple times#look – moe likes her routine. she likes her and steve's early morning snuggles and she Did Not Appreciate the lack of warning#(she's a lil spectrum-y if it isn't obvious)#steddie#liv’s steddie dads verse#steddie dads#steve harrington#eddie munson
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