#and so natch we started watching this show

[twig-tea]

Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko Ep 6: The Politics of the Closet

There have been some good posts already about how forced outing is not actually excused by a character's crush or different values (@pigglepiephi here and @respectthepetty here as two examples) so I won't spend a lot of time retreading that ground. Risa should not have told Ayaka that Hiroko was a lesbian, and Mama should have known better than to spill more of Hiroko's secrets after already having been confronted on and apologizing for doing so last episode. And it would be one thing if this was a character choice that the show was clear was not the right decision, but it seems to be presenting these choices as positive because it is moving the main romance forward. @hyeoni-comb noted the parallels between this this and She Makes My Heart Flutter, specifically around how both shows have a character of a different generation explaining the mindset of an older lesbian to the younger generation, which at a theoretical level, like hyeon is talking about here, I do also like; But I think a significant difference, and why it's bothering me in this show when it didn't in SMMHF, is the very different circumstances of both characters. [For those who haven't seen SMMHF, the character in question in that case was concerned about marketing her lesbian bar on social media. Also, go watch it, it's fantastic!]

What's still sitting so poorly with me about episode 6 of Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko is the way the show seems to be saying that Hiroko is wrongly scared and irrationally continuing to be closeted at work while times have changed. Mama says her reason for telling Hiroko's secrets to Risa and Ayaka is so that they can help Hiroko with her situation. She says 'there was a time when society was much harsher and more prejudiced'. She calls Hiroko's thinking old-fashioned. This suggests that Hiroko is in the wrong for hiding her sexuality. [This also sets how this is going in AIILWH apart from how it was done in SMMHF, because in that show the characters came around to realizing the owner would need to be ready on her own time to take that risk, which is a much more compassionate place to land.]

It bothers me when queer media tells queer people that they are paranoid for being afraid of being outed, especially at school or work. Has Japanese society progressed since 2014 so much that people can comfortably be out as lesbians in office workplaces without fear of repercussion to their careers? Because Canadian society hasn't, certainly not in every office [I only started being out at work in the last year, because the VP of the office where I worked until then was homophobic, as one example]. And we know that at least some of the people from the flashbacks still work there, so Hiroko's fears seem super valid to me.

Also, it isn't actually any of her colleagues' business who Hiroko does or doesn't fuck on her own time. It is definitely also true that Hiroko feels isolated and lonely because nobody at work knows her fully--since being a lesbian is a huge part of who she is--and I get that. The closet is a horrible, isolating experience. But it's super important to me that Hiroko gets to make that decision for herself. I would have been so down for a story where Risa and Ayaka reached out to Hiroko and made space for her to be herself and comfortable with a trusted sub-set of colleagues (including Yuya, natch). I would have also been ok with Ayaka outing herself as a lesbian at work to model that things have actually changed and it is safer--with Hiroko about to step in to a manager's position, I could believe that it she'd be able to ensure there would be minimal blowback. That would put them in a good position to negotiate what a relationship might look like, and would have been a great way to have that generational gap conversation, and maybe giving Hiroko confidence to come out herself eventually.

But instead Ayaka is starting the gossip mill about her crush, and putting eyes on Hiroko, which will inevitably either out her or force her to be even more closeted to hide her sexuality from the increased scrutiny. Regardless of the genders involved, there's also the fact that office romances especially across power lines are potentially problematic and could lead to problems for both of them. It feels like we are not well set up to take the complications of an office romance between a junior and a senior (or a boss) seriously, and that has me nervous too.

I'm waiting to see what the next episode brings, but this is why the episode has left me feeling so uncomfortable, and worried about how this show is going to land it's last two episodes.

[milehighmegs]

Good Omens Playlists

So I've seen some pretty wonderful Good Omens playlists on Pinterest, most of which are based on music in the show (especially Queen, natch), songs that say how Zira & Crowley feel about one another or describe them as characters.

In the wake (double meaning totally intended) of S2, I wondered: how do they feel about each other NOW? We've all been there. The sad love songs, the sleeping all day, entire pints of ice cream while watching romcoms... but mostly the recounting of how it all could've gone so wrong, what we wished we'd said & done, and what we wish we could say now.

Since Zira & Crowley definitely have communication issues (Nina & Maggie were SPOT ON in their convo with Crowley), I imagine they would have an easier time telling each other their feelings through other means. I'll admit, there's a bias here: this is what I would do, so of course I project onto these characters. But isn't that the beauty of fan art? We put ourselves into the work/live vicariously through them because we have such a damned hard time saying want we want & need and how we feel in plain language? Mostly because such complex feelings are REALLY REALLY hard to explain to ourselves, let alone to another person. But art- writing, music, imagery- can say what we struggle to put into more direct words. Music is an enormous part of who I am, so I often find that the songs of others say perfectly what I feel I never could.

On that note (pun only slightly intended), I've created 3 playlists: one for Crowley, one for Zira, and one for the both of them. The individual playlists are meant to reflect the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. There are elements of other stages within the songs meant to correspond to a particular stage, even coming full circle (it seems like acceptance, but there's a hint of denial in there, etc.). The joint playlist is of songs I imagine would make the memories of each other start to creep in (or totally gobsmack them in the feels) when they hear them, or things they wished they'd said/want to say to each other.

So without further ado, here are the playlists:

Crowley's Heartbroken Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6LyYnip9XuZqcRIEsiDSwz

Zira's Heartbroken Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3YUi13sTfPSR99R1dB2XVY

AziraCrow's Heartbroken Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/48NpfV42Y8LTVSFsui8zl2

For those of you who don't have Spotify, here's what's on the playlists:

Crowley 'Never Tear Us Apart' - INXS 'Bad Romance' - Lady Gaga 'Love Don't Live Here Anymore' - Madonna 'Cosmic Love' - Florence + the Machine 'As It Was' - Hozier 'I Found' - Amber Run 'Wicked Game' - Chris Isaac 'Dancing On My Own' - Calum Scott 'Halo' - Depeche Mode 'Falling' - The Civil Wars

Zira 'i love you' - Billie Eilish 'And I Am Telling You' - Jennifer Hudson 'You'll See' - Madonna 'Somebody That I Used To Know' - Gotye 'Someone Like You' - Adele 'Boys Don't Cry' - The Cure 'Un-break My Heart' - Toni Braxton 'For No One' - The Beatles 'Comfort' - Julia Jacklin 'I Will Always Love You' - Whitney Houston

AziraCrow 'I Have Nothing' - Whitney Houston 'Nothing Compares 2 U' - Sinead O'Connor 'Torn' - Natalie Imbruglia 'Hopelessly Devoted to You' - Olivia Newton John 'In A Lonely Place' - Bush, the Tricky Remix 'With Or Without You' - U2 'Don't Let Go (Love)' - En Vogue

'Don't Speak' - No Doubt 'Here With Me' - Dido

A note on the playlists: I know that Zira wouldn't listen to most of this if any, and Crowley would outwardly cringe just thinking about some of these. The point wasn't to choose songs that they'd go out of their way to hear, it was to capture the feelings they'd be going through. Crowley's songs are a bit darker: more minor keys, moodier atmosphere, etc., while Zira's are more sad but lighter & gentler (except maybe 'And I Am Telling You'; that's a straight-up "aww HELL NO YOU AIN'T GONNA FUCK THIS UP THIS IS HAPPENING YOU KNOW WE BELONG TOGETHER"... well, the song says it pretty well).

I 'd love to hear any thoughts about this, agree or disagree, love or loathe, hate that you love it... What would you put into a ZiraCrow playlist?

Hope you enjoy it!

[mrsaltieri-real]

Alright! Request time! Lemme get a request with Mickey, natch, but hear me out. You and he, catching a mid-afternoon movie for a date, starts off sweet, and the theater is empty except for you both. He cannot keep his hands off you when twenty minutes after the trailers happen he realizes no one else is showing up. He teases and touches till you give in and let him fuck you in the theater. Some risky, public, try to keep it down, don't get caught sex in the theater. Passionate, needy, messy, some begging, make it so, so good just like I know you will.

When Boredom Strikes (Mickey Altieri x Fem!AFAB!Reader)

You and Mickey have an afternoon date at the movies, but boredom quickly consumes him, forcing him to find alternate ways to entertain himself.

Word Count: 3k

Warning/s: language, smut, p in v, slight degradation, fingering, public/semi public sex, praise, begging, almost caught fucking, teasing, thirsty Mickey, riding, ect.

Bex Bex BEX. You know damn well what this request has done to me these last couple of days. I’m happy to oblige. Here we go!

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Mickey stood with his arm casually slung around your shoulder as he eyed the movie options up on the board, pulling a face at every single one of them. “Fuck, there’s really no halfway decent movies.”

You rolled your eyes at your boyfriend, looking up at his dramatically disgusted face. “Well, whose bright idea was it to ditch class to come watch a movie in the middle of the afternoon, Mick?”

He glanced down at you, his pretty brown eyes playfully amused and a smile lit up his face as he lifted your chin with his finger, ducking his head down to peck you lightly on the lips, in which you eagerly reciprocated. “We missed our last date because I had to edit my short film and you’ve got a packed schedule for the rest of this week so I didn’t really have much of a choice now, did I?” He pointed out, reluctantly moving his face away from yours.

You nodded your head a little as you looked up at the board yourself, eyes scanning the cheesy rom com movies, every single one of them containing the exact same main plot point of a girl who didn’t realise love was right there all along. You knew Mickey hated these sort of movies with a passion, claiming they had no depth and no entertainment value whatsoever.

Being with a film geek like Mickey meant you were subjected to listen to his intensely angry ramblings about how cinema was quote “going down fucking hill,” and how there’s “nothing like the classics anymore.” You’d listen to him with a cocked eyebrow and watch him as he would rifle through his seemingly never ending cases of illegally pirated films that varied from action to mystery then to his personal favourite, horror.

As much as you loved him, you never quite understood his affliction with horror movies. Sure, you enjoyed them, but you’d see the intense excitement in his eyes as he watched some blonde girl with big tits get brutally butchered and ripped apart and you’d listen to him rant about the “authenticity” of the production value with blank but affectionate eyes. Nobody could say that he wasn’t passionate.

The theatre attendant sighed, her nails drumming impatiently on the counter as she stared unseeingly past the two of you with a bored expression. Mickey glanced at her, unable to stop the small roll of his eyes at her attitude.

“Just pick one and we’ll watch it. And choose fast because this one’s about to fall asleep.” Mickey said to you under his breath, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his wallet. You knew better than to offer to pay, knowing you’d be met with a disgusted look of horror at the very idea of you wanting to pay for absolutely anything.

You loosely gestured to the least sappy looking movie for his benefit, secretly relieved you didn’t have to sit through yet another bloody mess of a film and Mickey paid the attendant and took the tickets as she mumbled, “enjoy your movie,” He nodded his head at her politely and picked up the popcorn and drinks, begrudgingly making his way into the theatre with a grimace on his face at the thought of having to sit in the freezing theatre for two hours and watch this god awful movie. But as he walked toward the theatre doors, popcorn under one arm and you under the other, he noticed how deserted the place was. Just you, himself and 3 attendants in the entire place. He smiled a little to himself, knowing full well he could have a lot of fun with this little benefit when the boredom would truly take over.

As you both settled down in your assigned seats beside each other Mickey placed the popcorn by next to his feet, leaning back on the chair with his eyes scanning the room. Just as he’d hoped, it was completely deserted apart from the two of you. He glanced at your face, the smile still on his lips as you looked back at him, asking him in a suspicious tone, “what?”

“Nothing, nothing.” He said, diverting his eyes from you and to the large screen as the trailers began to play.

“Give me my popcorn.” You said, holding out your hand expectantly.

“No, no, absolutely not.” Mickey shook his head as he spoke, pushing your hand away gently.

“What? Why?”

“Baby, you always finish your popcorn before the movie even starts and what happens? Oh, Mickey.” He mocked your voice in an absolutely terrible impression, twirling imaginary hair around his finger as he spoke. “I finished all my popcorn, give me yours.” He looked at you with knowing eyes and a playful smile on his lips as he dropped his hand back down onto the arm rest. “Just wait for the opening titles at least.” He said in his normal voice.

“You think you know me so well. I don’t fucking sound like that. Ass.” You grumbled under your breath, slumping back in your seat with a pout. He laughed at you affectionately, reaching for your hand and bringing it up to his lips, kissing it gently.

“Huh, guess it’s just us.” You mused as you watched one of the attendants close the theatre doors, leaving just you and Mickey in the large dark room with nothing but the glowing light of the screen shining down on the two of you.

“Guess it is.” Mickey said lightly, shifting in his seat and dropping your hand in favour of resting his palm on the smooth bare skin of your thigh, his fingers lightly tracing shapes and leaving goosebumps in their wake.

This wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Mickey was big on casual physical contact, especially whilst watching movies. The cheerful opening of the movie caught your attention and your eyes set on the screen, deciding to make the most of your date together by actually enjoying the movie, even if he didn’t.

Twenty minutes into the film and Mickey was bored out of his mind. You seemed engrossed with the movie, shushing Mickey every couple of minutes when he tried to talk to you or complain about the “god awful” film.

“This is so fucking sh-“

You swatted at his arm lightly, shushing him once again and he groaned, slumping back in his seat and letting his head fall backward against the soft material of the chair. The two dimensional characters seemed to mock him through the screen as the actors paraded around with an awful performance. He physically recoiled as he heard the cheesy lines being spoken.

Nobody fucking talks like that. He thought to himself with a grimace.

He began to think of what he could do to make this date a little more interesting. He quickly scanned the theatre double checking the room once again to make sure it was empty before his fingers slowly danced across your thigh, casually moving in between your legs.

He chuckled a little as you slapped his hand, pinning your legs together as you sent him a small glare. “No, Mickey.” You said as sternly as you could muster. He looked at you completely unphased and raised an eyebrow, but said absolutely nothing.

One of Mickey’s favourite pastimes is fooling around with you in semi-public places. Semi-public was okay, semi-public was fun and exciting. It was even encouraged. There was only a risk of being caught. You knew exactly what he was thinking at the moment, what he wanted to do. But doing it here, in the middle of a movie theatre? That was a little too risky for your liking. You felt his hand move back to your thigh after a couple of seconds, still tracing small shapes onto your skin with a feather light touch. You clenched your teeth, staring at the screen to try and focus on the movie again, but now that felt almost impossible.

How the fuck did he always manage to do this to you? Completely divert your attention and make you focus explicitly on him and what you wanted him to do to you? The fact he didn’t even need to speak in order for you to waver on your insistence not to fuck him in a movie theatre was almost making you angry with yourself and your lack of ability to stand by your decisions.

He waited until you relaxed your rigid stance and your legs unstiffened, his fingers still grazing your skin gently before he made another much slower move. His fingers hardly even touched you as he lightly brushed your inner thigh. He smiled to himself a little when he heard your breath hitch a little and felt you look up at him with imploring eyes. He made sure his eyes were still set on the screen as if he was completely sucked into the crappy movie. You looked down at his hand, tugging at your bottom lip with your teeth as it moved upward underneath your skirt, feeling his fingertips glide up your inner thigh, your legs opening for him as though they had a mind of their own before feeling him very lightly grazing your clit through the soft cotton material of your already damp panties.

You shifted a little, fingers digging into the dark red upholstery of the arm of the chair, your legs instinctively inching even wider for him and you heard him let out a small, satisfied laugh as he felt the damp patch.

Fuck.

“Look who's changed her mind.” He murmured softly under his breath. You ignored him, eyes fluttering closed as you felt him move your panties to the side, his index finger slowly sliding up the length of your slit to collect moisture before torturously circling your clit with a pace that was so slow, so light, that it was almost painful. He let out another chuckle as he felt the heat on his fingers and heard the small whimper fall out from between your lips, his eyes still not moving from the screen.

Your head fell back against your seat as his fingers gradually increased speed, circling over your clit in the way he knew drove you crazy, but not quite applying enough pleasure for you to genuinely enjoy it. Mickey shifted a little in his seat so he was leaning toward you, eyes finally dragging away from the screen and to your face, watching you with dark and almost amused eyes as your chest heaved and your grip on the armrest tightened so hard your knuckles turned white. His fingers suddenly abandoned your clit in favour of plunging two of them knuckle deep into your pussy and causing you to let out a loud, unfiltered moan.

“Shh.” He whispered to you, his free hand covering your mouth as he continued to move his long fingers inside of you, hooking and curling them to graze the spot inside of you that was bound to make you cum sooner rather than later if he carried on.

Your eyes nervously flickered around the room again, terrified you’d missed a spectator in one of the chairs that would turn around and find some girl getting fingered by her boyfriend in the middle of a movie theatre. Of course there was no one, but his free hand remained on your mouth as he leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek and before resting his forehead on your temple.

“You gotta be quiet, okay?“ he said in your ear, another twist of his fingers inside of you causing you to moan against his hand in response. His fingers abruptly stopped moving, frozen inside of you and you looked at him in desperate confusion as his other hand moved from your mouth to slide down behind your head, gripping your hair firmly by the roots and forcing you to look into his eyes. “Do you promise you’ll be quiet?” He whispered, hand dropping from your mouth so you could respond.

“Mmm- mm yes.” You gasped out, your voice pleading and almost whiny as you bucked your hips against his hand, desperate to feel friction again. “Please, Mickey.”

“Look at you.” He said tauntingly. “Twenty minutes ago you were slapping my hand away and now here you are, dripping down my arm and begging for me to get you off in the middle of a movie theatre.”

He suddenly pulled his fingers out of you, bringing them up and pressing them against your lips. You eagerly took his fingers into your mouth, sucking your own arousal off of them eagerly. He let out somewhat of a growl as he felt your tongue swirl around his fingers as you greedily tasted yourself and he quickly glanced behind him at the door before he slid his fingers out of your mouth slowly to unbuckle his belt. As he did, you were almost too eager to drop to your knees so you could blow him but he stopped you with his hand, shaking his head once whilst saying, “No, no,” and pulling his jeans and briefs down so his cock was just about out, already hard and pressed against his toned stomach. “Panties off, leave the skirt on.”

Your eyes widened a little as you hesitated, glancing up at the theatre doors. Mickey followed your gaze and rolled his eyes a little at you. “What, so you’re fine letting me finger your pussy here but you don’t want to fuck? Come on now, baby.”

You could hear the sarcasm in his voice and you scowled at him, but obediently removed your panties, discarding them on the floor by your feet.

“Good girl.” Mickey grinned at you, looking victorious as he grabbed your arm as soon as they were off, practically yanking you onto his lap. You straddled him with your knees either side of him, just about hovering over him as you felt the flushed head of his cock lightly graze your swollen clit, the sensation so slight yet so intense it sent a small shiver throughout your entire body. Mickey felt it too, sighing a little as he felt you just barely touching him.

The light of the huge screen dully illuminated the two of you as Mickey hitched your skirt around your waist before sliding his hands around to grip your ass, spreading you open for him as he angled his hips up, groaning quietly as he slowly began filling you. You let out a gasp that was a little too loud at the satisfying stretch, causing Mickey to stop abruptly, gripping your hips so you couldn’t move.

“What did I say?”

“I- I’m sorry, please don’t stop.” You begged him as quietly as you could. He could feel your body trembling with need and he couldn’t help but oblige you.

His eyes remained on your face, though you were hardly visible in the dim light of the screen and he smiled at your desperate expression before continuing to push up into you, sighing in satisfaction at the familiar feeling of your pussy clenching around him as he did. You angled your hips downward, impatient at his slow pace so you could envelop him completely and almost too eagerly. The thrill of fucking him in a public place where a stranger could walk in at any given moment and see the two of you was more exciting than you had anticipated, your earlier anxiety and concerns becoming nothing more than a distant and irrelevant memory. It made you more eager and hungry for him, more than you could have even begun to imagine. It took Mickey by surprise as he let out a small, breathless laugh as your hips rolled against him, thoroughly enjoying the reluctantly quiet moans you were panting in his ear.

“Such a whore.” He whispered into your hair, sliding one of his hands up your back and gripping the back of your neck under your hair. The sound of his voice in your ear as you rode him sent tingles through your body, spurring you on. “Look at you, riding me like a slut in the middle of a movie theatre, fucking acting like you didn’t want this the whole time. Bad fucking girl.” You groaned at his words, throwing your head back and moving your hands to rest behind you on his thighs, feeling the familiar need for him to take control. He obliged you once again, his hands resting your waist and holding you still as he began to grind his hips upwards and fuck deep into you, treating you as if you were his very own sex doll.

You almost cried out, turning your head and biting into the soft skin of your shoulder as you felt him thrust up into you, feeling his cock hitting all of the right places. You felt the slight stubble of his trimmed hair prick and grind over your clit, stimulating you perfectly as your nails dug into his thighs, making him let out a small hiss and grind up into you even faster, watching intently as your tits bounced from behind your thin tank top.

Your body was held still in his firm grip with your only movements being a reaction from him as he fucked you to his own accord as you tried hard not to make too loud of a sound. One of his hands moved from your waist to slide between the two of you, his thumb applying pressure to your clit and moving in small, calculated circles. His head fell forward to watch himself sliding in and out of your convulsing pussy, groaning as he felt you clench and tighten around him. He knew you were close to cumming when he felt your legs start to shake beside him and he knew he was close too. Just watching you with your mouth biting into your own shoulder to stop yourself from screaming as he fucked up into you in the middle of the day in a movie theatre was driving him insane, and he didn’t feel the need to prevent your impending orgasm or his own, the need to tease you disappeared in favour of feeling you cum on his dick.

Your head lifted from your shoulder and you looked at him, panting desperately with wide eyes. “I- I’m gonna- p- please can I-“

Mickey suddenly let out a sharp gasp and quickly grabbed you by your arms that were still propping you up by your hands on his thighs and hastily pulled you toward him, gently but quickly turning you around so you were sitting on his lap and he tugged at the end of your skirt so it covered the sight of his dick still stuffed inside of you. You frowned a little in surprise at the sudden unwelcome change, his heart hammering against your back and his panting breath on the back of your neck. You went to glance back at him in confusion only to see the theatre doors wide open and an attendant stroll in.

You looked at Mickey’s face in alarm but his eyes were set on the screen, refusing to meet you. You turned your head back around and looked at the screen, seeing nothing. You weren’t even sure what the movie was about anymore but you stared at the characters desperately. Mickey’s hand rested on your hip as the theatre clerk stood by the door, eyes scanning the room. It was just dark enough that the man wouldn’t be able to spot your panties bunched up on the floor, let alone you sat with your boyfriends still rigid cock up inside of you. To him, it probably looked as though you were sat on his lap cuddling him.

You shifted anxiously, feeling Mickey’s breathing change as you did so and you realised that at this angle, he could really feel you. Your eyes flickered to the utterly bored looking attendant who seemed to have his attention grabbed by the movie as an idea started ringing in your head. You slightly adjusted yourself, rising up a little and angling your hips back down. You heard him take in a sharp breath, his fingers bruising your hips as you moved very calculated and slow, unable to wipe the satisfied smile off your face as you felt his cock twitch almost pathetically inside of you.

“Filthy bitch wants to get caught.” You heard him mutter between his teeth.

You shrugged every so slightly, responding to him in a hushed whisper, “you started it. I’m finishing it.”

[shortpplfedup]

Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 9

A contemplative episode this week, as most of the characters stop struggling and start accepting some shit. But while some people come to correct conclusions (Ray and Mew break up, but can you call it a break up if you were never actually together?), others just decide to make the same mistakes and hope for different outcomes (Sand keeps trusting Ray instead of himself; Mew decides to give Top another chance). We're moving into the last act of the story now, and it's anybody's guess where we land up when the dust settles. Last week y'all judged Ray the most audacious by a mile. Lemme put my glasses on and see who I'm feeling this week.

🔺1. Nick (6)

Team Second Option!

Nick and Sand's loser friendship and their self-awareness of same is one of the most delightful parts of a truly delightful show. I can totally believe Nick suggested them hooking up, this is EXACTLY how these things go. Them dissolving into giggles over their kiss and cuddling each other to sleep was a beautiful friendship moment. Another beautiful moment was Nick's acceptance that he really had just fucked things up with Boston (we will ignore the fact that the boy just can't HELP spying on that man having sex with other people🤣), apologising in a heartfelt way and attempting to move on. I think Nick's heart might be the only one at ease at the end of this ep, so he wins the week.

⭐2. Boeing

My room is right here as well.

IT'S MOND IT'S MOND IT'S MOND MOND IS HERE AND HE LOOKS GOOD AS FUCK! It's time to find out what the hell this is all about, but whatever it is looks kinda fucked which YES.

🔺3. Sand (11)

We are just masochists.

The loser camping trip did a lot to make me feel less irritated with Sand this week. Sand has always been incredibly self-aware about how much him having feelings for Ray is a suck move, but having him state it all so baldly and call himself a masochist this episode did move the needle for me. Architect of his own misery? Yes, but knowing he lowhighkey ENJOYS the misery makes all the difference. You know what king, you do you. Swing wildly between euphoria and despair while you're young enough to find it exciting.

🔻4. Boston (2)

Gay, straight, pan, whatever the fuck you want to be. I just opened your eyes.

Oh sis, I saw you trying there, but the lack of impulse control as always will land you in trouble. He should have sent Atom packing after that party, but sad, lonely and pissed off are a bad combo, and one thing Boston consistently does is make poor decisions when he's feeling some typa way. He clearly served up a top tier dicking though, because Atom is in LOVE. Inconvenient at best. As I keep saying though: you can't keep a bad bitch down, and Boston's one of the baddest. This too shall pass.

🔺5. Ray (12)

I am thick-skinned. I don't care.

*deep negro spiritual sigh* How DARE you bust up the loser camping trip Raymond. I'll not forgive you for that one. Ray, rejected by Mew, demands Sand's company for an ego-boosting dopamine hit (including the sex that Mew denied him, natch), continuing to treat him like a servant and a possession. But this time Sand calls him on it, and that maybe means he thinks about it a little? TBD. I do think Ray WAS actually honest this episode about his feelings (hence the rise in rank), but he was still trying to get what he wanted out of Sand. He and Mew ended their ill-advised relationship as friends though, so that's a positive. Rehab seems to be on the menu next week so anything's possible. I still think these two are terrible for each other, but they're 21, I guess it's allowed.

🔺6. Top (7)

I just want you to know that the person you think loves you the most is not that good.

Watching Top work Mew's moms over all Mew's objections was gross, and I'm fortified anew in my feeling that this dude's vibes are just OFF. Top...circling Mew like this, working Cheum, working his moms, making the move to excise Ray but not actually pulling the trigger because he knows taking the high road will appeal to Mew...look this show has 3 more eps to prove me wrong but something ain't RIGHT with this 'un. Top's money, his good looks, his sweet words, that's all it seems anybody pays attention to, but something underneath...anyway, his strategy's working, right up until the moment Mew runs into Boeing on his fucking doorstep.

🔻7. Mew (3)

I just thought if I became someone else, I'd be stronger.

Well the slut spiral was fun while it lasted, but I guess the morning after a coke bender is generally unpleasant and Mew's a paper tiger not a real G. Mew's trying to keep up the party boy persona but he's not built for this shit, his heart's not in it and Ray trying to literally get in his pants crashed him back to reality. He's totally going back to Top, Boeing or no Boeing.

⭐8. Mew's moms

I saw you on Mew's Instagram. You look better in person.

Oof. Look they're cute and they obviously love Mew, but their son is clearly uncomfortable and unhappy with Top around and they're ignoring that. They may not know what happened, but the room ain't THAT hard to read.

🔻9. Atom (1)

Did I just get nailed and bailed?

Atom tried dick exactly once and it's got him outside Boston's house in the middle of the night begging for more of the same. My bunny boiler hopes have fizzled for both Nick and Sand, maybe Atom is the one I've been waiting for.

🔹10. Yo (10)

Good can't buy love.

Mae Yo with the read this week: 'good can't buy love'. I really want Mom and Cool Stepdad back together. GO GET YOUR MAN YO!

🔻11. Daddy Dan (4)

I'm not going to be your boss tonight. Call me Daddy Dan.

The cringe is through the roof. Well he might get to sniff it but a sniff's all he's gonna get before Nick's back in Boston's bed, and that's just a matter of time at this point.

🔻12. Cheum (8)

The evil spirit left you already, huh?

Will Cheum ever learn to mind the business that pays her? Her lack of interest in her brother's clear and obvious heartbreak is contrasted unfavourably with her overinvestment and overinvolvement in the Mew/Top saga. I also somehow feel like last week's self-interested moment of solidarity with Boston won't survive contact with her brother getting exactly what he asked for and breaking his own heart with it.

[elapsed-spiral]

Pre-season 2 OFMD fic list

It's less than two weeks till we get our ships wrecked, so here's my (presumably) final pre-season 2 fic list. Have a read if you wanna pass the improbably long days before the season premieres!

This list got out of control so I added some handy symbols: 🎧 = podfic available 💜 = personal favourite ⭐ = fics you may have heard about? I don’t know, I don’t have a sense for this stuff.

Cool collaboration(s) you should read immediately:

🎧💜Work Experience: what if Ed went to meet Stede when the Revenge ran aground? And what if Ed became a member of Stede’s crew? And what if things kept escalating and… Canon AU. Mature. Co-written with Shearwater.

Really no excuse for how stupid these ones are:

Watch Out, Here I Come: what if Stede had been intentionally seducing Ed? Teen

Once More, With Feeling: what if Frenchie just fixed the season 1 finale fiasco because he’s the most capable guy on the ship? Teen

Talent Show: what if Ed was crass about his sexual preferences? Explicit

Capsize on Your Thighs: what if Ed rebounded onto Calico Jack at the end of season 1? Ed/CJ and Ed/Stede (but Ed/Stede is endgame, natch). Explicit

🎧💜Your Feedback is Important to Us: what if Stede started holding open cabin hours to allow the crew to air their grievances (but was also very repressed and horny over Ed)? Explicit

Oh no Ed’s working through gender/class stuff (but make it funny):

Finery: Ed gets to wear a dress, Stede spontaneously combusts. Explicit

Tell More Tales: Stede isn’t the only writer aboard the Revenge. Explicit

🎧💜Lovers and Madmen: Ed is hellbent on marrying Stede. Explici

🎧 Save the Date: Ed 'attends' a wedding. Unfortunately, so does Stede. Short S2 alternative reunion fic. Teen

AUs no-one asked for:

Novel/novella length

🎧💜Restructuring: modern AU where Stede loses his fortune before meeting Ed, but Ed’s still got more money than you can shake a fucking stick at. Only problem is, Stede lies and says he’s wealthy and Ed lies and says he isn’t. Like the show, it’s a romcom about trauma. Explicit

🎧💜⭐Baddy Zaddy: Bridget Jones’s Diary style, former porn star turned sex shop owner!Ed/still unfortunately landed gentry!Stede. Novel length modern AU. Explicit

💜⭐Prize Every Time: You’ve Got Mail-y secret pen pals but also business rivals. Novel length modern AU. Explicit

Conflict of Interest: lawyer!Stede/businessman!Ed (read: gangster). Modern AU. Explicit

Shorter uns

Intergalactic Tango: Space Waltz AU. Mature

🎧💜Trade Descriptions Act: bailiff!Ed/estate agent!Stede. Identity theft but make it meet cute. Modern AU. Teen

Your Favourite Song: locksmith!Ed/museum curator!Stede. Kinktober fill that somehow isn’t E rated. Modern AU. Teen

⭐Draft Letter to Restaurant Downstairs: Google Docs AU with a (slightly) interactive element. Modern SMAU. Teen

Blind Date: Stede and Jeffrey Fettering go on a blind date at Ed’s restaurant. I think you know where this is going. Modern AU. Explicit

Different Dimension: ficlet that crams four and a bit AUs into 850 words. Modern AU. Teen

Stuck Still: British holiday resort AU feat. events manager!Stede and bartender turned fairy!Ed (it makes sense in the story I swear). Modern AU. Explicit

💜On the Job: “kidnapping” meet cute (but not actually. Again, I swear it makes sense in the story I swear). Modern AU. Explicit

Starring Jason Statham: another weird meet cute, courtesy of Jack and the Fast and Furious franchise. Stede/Jack, Ed/Jack and Ed/Stede (Ed/Stede is once again end game). Modern AU. Teen

West Ham Is for Lovers: Lucius has a new job. It’s going fine. Completely, totally fine. A meet cute fic about meet cutes. Ed/Stede but also Lucius/Pete, Lucius/Fang, Lucius/Izzy and Lucius/Olu/Jim. Modern AU. Teen

💜Conventional: back in the 00s, Ed was in a very famous movie franchise. Nowadays, he does the convention circuit. Modern AU. Explicit

🎧💜Proud: Ed attends Pride to get free mum hugs, Stede attends Pride to give free dad hugs. Modern AU. Teen

KrakenAir: Stede and the crew are heading to Benidorm to celebrate Stede coming out. That is, if Stede’s all expenses spared KrakenAir flight ever departs. Modern SMAU. Teen

Very Poor, Becoming Good: aspiring Gentleman Backpacker Stede Bonnet is adventure bound when he meets fellow traveller Ed Teach at an empty hostel. Now if they could just find the owner… Modern AU. Explicit

💜Stolen by the Gentleman Thief: Ed is a lonely gay guy in his late forties whose favourite book is historical softcore porn. Luckily, there’s a weird meet cute about to happen. Modern AU. Explicit

Live Sex Show: Columnist Ed Teach recommends that Stede Bonnet shake up his monotonous life by doing something weird. Modern AU. Teen

💜Continue Making Progress: Kraken Driving School has a terrible new student. Luckily, Ed and Stede both have a lot to offer one another. Modern AU. Explicit

Oh no there’s been a containment breach (aka non-Blackbonnet fics):

💜We Do What We Like (and We Like What We Do): a brief history of Ed and Jack. Explicit (Ed/CJ)

Fealty: Stede and Izzy make one another even more miserable. Mature (Stede/Izzy)

💜Contra Proferentem: Ed is a high powered lawyer and Professor of Law at the University of Cambridge. Lucius is not a high powered lawyer but he is a lecturer of English Lit at the University of Cambridge. Stede own a very nice cafe. Explicit (platonic Ed/Lucius, Ed/Stede, no cheating involved)

[ciaossu-imagines]

What are some of your favorite horror movies? And which ones you like to recommend to people?

Holy shit! This question makes me so happy but also so…wow, how do I organize this! How can I narrow them down…there’s just so many horror movies I definitely love and would recommend. The different sub-genres within horror and what’s the best to watch from those was considered, but that leaves out some solid horror movies that don’t fit into any particular sub-genre. So I kind of went chronologically, throughout the years…I might be wrong in some of these years, so please forgive me for that. I’ll also definitely have left off a lot of really good ones, so excuse the incompleteness of the list.

So, as mentioned on my other post, gotta start back in the roaring 20’s, when horror really kind of hit the mainstream, with 1922’s Nosferatu. It’s going to seem really boring if you go in expecting a gore-fest like what we get now, but I think it’s a really stand up film for it’s time, with a great atmosphere and feel to it.

All of the classic Universal monster film’s from the 30’s should be checked out. They’re classics for a reason and the horror genre really owes a lot to these early films.

As far as I know, the original that came out then is impossible to find, but you can find versions of 1932’s Freaks and it’s definitely worth checking out. That movie kind of fucked me up, though a lot of the horror in it was the mass exploitation of people who dared to differ from the norm.

As far as I know, the 30’s version of Sweeney Todd was the first time it was on film? Definitely worth checking out, comparing and contrasting to the Johnny Depp version of it. Both are decent in their own ways (though, of course, the stage renditions are the best).

To me, Son of Frankenstein, while considered a horror at the time, was the first horror comedy. At least, I very much have that feel watching it.

While there were a lot of 40’s horror films, the only one I still remember and enjoy is the Abbott and Costello film I recommended in the previous post.

In my opinion, the 50’s had a lot of really great horror films. Watching them now, they do feel campy and kind of B-grade, but I really do think that is part of the appeal to them and it’s also fun to see some of the tropes in horror that are still used to this day. So from that era, I recommend Donovan’s Brain, I Was a Teenage Werewolf, Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, anything with Vincent Price, and Teenagers from Outer Space.

1960 brought us Psycho. Any horror fan should check out Psycho – I consider it a classic and a must watch. I also think that might have been the year The Little Shop of Horrors first came out on film. The original wasn’t bad, though I recommend the later version with Rick Moranis. It had a really great feel to it and was a little more fun than the original.

From the rest of the 60’s…oh, you guys know this one was going to be on here. Rosemary’s Baby, natch. Night of the Living Dead is also one that was obviously going to show up on this list because again ��� should be considered must-watch for any horror movie lover. Romero and horror – goes hand in hand and especially in terms of zombie tropes…it set up a lot of those. For a surprise from the 60’s though, I do recommend Blood and Black Lace.

The 70’s were great for horror. I definitely recommend the 70’s Wicker Man. If you start to watch Wicker Man and you see Nicolas Cage….press back or do whatever you need to do to turn it off. Then go watch the Wicker Man without Nicolas Cage. You will thank me for that tidbit of advice. Tales from the Crypt, The Exorcist, Jaws, Alien, the OG Carrie, The Omen, the OG The Hills Have Eyes, the OG Suspiria, Dawn of the Dead, I Spit on Your Grave, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Black Christmas, and The Amityville Horror were all fantastic movies from that decade. Plus, the Halloween and Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchises started in this decade and I really recommend those franchises as a whole. Did both of them have some terrible sequels/prequels/remakes? Oh boy, did they! But overall, the franchises are solid. Young Frankenstein is a solid horror comedy and while technically a miniseries, Salem’s Lot from that time is still something I rewatch at least every year or two.

The 80’s brought Freddy fucking Krueger and boy, do I recommend watching the Nightmare On Elm Street franchise. The Chucky franchise also started at that time and I love the really kind of campy, horror comedy feel to that franchise, with some genuinely scary scenes. The Evil Dead is a classic for a reason and definitely a must watch. Just watch every movie in the franchise because at the worst, they’re hilarious, at their best they’re so, so GOOD. Pretty sure Poltergeist is also from the 80’s but if I’m wrong, it’s late 70’s. I love The Lost Boys, at least the original one.  Motel Hell was weird as fuck but pretty decent horror comedy? My favourite horror comedy from the 80’s though has to be April Fool’s Day – definitely one I recommend everyone see at least once. Fright Night from the 80’s was also really good and I actually also enjoy the remake with Colin Farrell. The 80’s also brought a lot of Stephen King adaptions and where I love his writing, I watched a lot of them – Christine, Cujo, Silver Bullet,  Children of the Corn (the OG one is my favourite, though the remake wasn’t absolutely fucking horrific), Pet Sematary, Creepshow…notice The Shining is missing? It’s because I actually don’t really like the movie. I found the book more genuinely scary. One that does have to be mentioned but which I will personally NEVER watch again – Cannibal Holocaust. Don’t eat going into it and be aware that it gets very, VERY violent. If you consider Gremlins a horror movie, it’s on there. I just say it’s a classic Christmas movie you should definitely check out around the season. I watch it every Christmas season.

From the 90’s, starting with a miniseries but the version of IT that still scares me the most? The 90’s miniseries with Tim Curry. It will legit make me cry but that’s because clowns freak me out royally.  But legit, the 90’s and the 00’s was the era I really was just getting into horror, so I struggle to figure out what is me viewing it with a lot of nostalgia and love and what is actually good so I’m going bullet points for these decades:

Se7en – even non-horror fans know THAT scene from this movie, let’s be real, and I think that  makes it have to be on this list.

Village of the Damned

From Dusk Till Dawn

The first Scream came out this decade, as did a couple of the others, but please watch all the franchise except the newest ones. I watched them, not as great as the original run but 1-4…fucking amazing and probably my favourite horror franchise personally.

I Know What You Did Last Summer

The first Blade movie came out in this decade, but I recommend all three.

The Faculty

Urban Legend

House on Haunted Hill

The Sixth Sense really did have an amazing twist, though it looks cheap and played out rewatching or looking back on it. For the time period though – it was an amazing twist.

Sleepy Hollow

American Psycho

Final Destination. Any of the movies in the franchise kind of give me the happy but the first one is probably the best.

Jeeper’s Creepers

Misery

The Leprechan franchise is great horror comedy. I love Warwick Davis.

I recommend the Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie, only because it led to the show and the show was so, so precious to me.

The Silence of the Lambs, naturally.

Candyman, also naturally.

The Frighteners was a fun horror comedy. I just like seeing bad things happen to Michael J. Fox

Sometimes They Come Back

Cube

Cannibal! The Musical is frigging fantastic and a great black comedy

The Craft

Idle Hands is frigging amazing as well for horror comedy.

From the 2000’s:

Ginger Snaps

Thirteen Ghosts

Valentine

28 Days Later

Cabin Fever

Resident Evil as a franchise is hit or miss, but I like the original

The Ring

Wrong Turn

The Grudge

The Saw franchise

Hostel

House of 1000 Corpses and the follow up movies to it

Shaun of the Dead

House of Wax, just for being able to see Paris Hilton die

When a Stranger Calls

1408 (have an odd crush on John Cusack)

30 Days of Night

The Mist

Dead Silence

Repo! The Genetic Opera

Coraline

Zombieland

Cabin in the Woods is from around that time and still one of the best meta-horror comedies I’ve ever seen.

[mmikmmik]

Starting ToQger and OOO is really satisfying because they both have such smart, well-executed worldbuilding. When you watch a lot of iterations of formulaic shows/franchises, you start to notice the craft, in a good way.

The whole thing in OOO where the main Rider can transform/get additional transformation modes by using Core Medals, which are literally part of the Greeed and can be stolen from them when they're injured, creates stakes within all the battles between the Greeed and OOO, and it immediately gives the other Greeed an intense personal beef with Ankh and OOO for fucking with their stuff. The audience doesn't fully understand the Core Medals yet, but we can see from Ankh's diminished state that they must be important. (I think this does have some danger of falling into the issue I had with Ex-Aid, where the plot stakes revolved around transformation items, so they kept taking fun toys away from the heroes with very little actual impact on things like character development or personal goals, but so far that's not happening.) In general, the show about desire is doing a great job giving the characters things they want and are believably motivated to fight for. Themes!

Meanwhile in ToQ they established that at this point, the regular MOTW Shadows can use their gimmicks to be threatening, but go down pretty easily once the ToQgers work out ways around those. But the Shadow Line leaders like General Schwarz are almost impossible to injure in direct combat, much less defeat. But the Rainbow Line trains are much more powerful than the Shadow Line trains! So it all comes together - the ToQgers aren't in constant danger and can relax in their daily lives because they're safe on a Rainbow Line train. General Schwarz focuses on military power, natch, so he's being smart and tactical by trying to soup up the Shadow Line trains (and also he fucking loves trains). The ToQgers must leave the safety of their trains to restore Dark Stations to normalcy, but the Shadow Line doesn't have Shadow Cell Phones to use to call backup (get on that, guys) so there's not a huge chance they'll encounter a Shadow Line leader there. The Dark Stations can't hold off the ToQgers, but the ToQgers don't automatically know where they are, so the other Shadow Line leaders can spam Dark Stations and collect darkness until the ToQgers trip over them and they aren't just completely wasting their time. Within the fun little Bright Colorful Imagination Trains vs Dark Spooky Steampunk Trains setting, everyone has sensible goals that they're pursuing rationally.

No one is doing things Just Because. No one is bizarrely ignoring a huge massive problem for themselves that recurs in every episode. There's not really any "well, it's not clear why they're doing this, but there's no plot holes or anything and I can think of a few potential explanations so I won't worry about it". We love to see it.

[blackgumball]

whats ur thoughts on toh? out of pure curiosity

aaaaaaalright so. the short of it is that s1 was mid, s2 was pretty great imo, and s3 SUCKED.

the long of it is that when i found out Dana Terrace was making a cartoon, I was excited. I admired her work on GF (which changed my life when I first saw it), and was looking forward to the Owl House.

when I started watching it, I figured it just wasn't my style. I had graduated high school found that i wasn't really into the 'school' element of stories anymore (which I remember hearing that Dana herself not being too interested in as well, but execs forced the crews hand). I also just don't care about witches very much. Luz didn't move me in any particular direction, nor did Eda. The animation was cute at points. I would say the best ting about the first season was the fight scenes, specifically the ones between Eda and Lilith. other than that the show was just fine.

season two. I loved season two. I thought it got a million times better. they introduced Hunter, who was probably my favourite character in the show, the stakes got higher, as did the quality of the storylines and arcs. I don't know! the show just became so exciting to watch. I had to drag myself through the first season but I was locked in on season 2 and very excited whenever new episodes were coming out.

so natch this is when disney decides to cut their legs out from under them.

look a huge part of me feels horrible for the cast and crew of the owl house. they had a decently popular narrative show that was being talked about WEEKLY and that still wasn't enough to save them from the axe.

so unfortunately I was watching rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles at around the same time I was watching the owl house. these shows were both canceled before they really got to end their narratives, and were given a shorter season/tv movie to wrap things up. I might've been 100x more forgiving to the owl house if rottmnt didn't EXCEL. granted, they're very different kinds of show, but rise really used what it had and made a heartfelt ending that insinuated the continuing adventures of the turtles. It really fucking worked (i love rise, everybody go watch rise)

so owl house gets three forty minute episodes to end its story, and the crew promised that just because they were short on time doesn't mean the show would be any worse. and I believed them.

the problem was, everything they chose to focus on in these episodes felt like the wrong choice.

so, context. the villain of the show since season one has been Emperor Belos. he's this big, creepy looking fascist dictator who wants everybody to be learning ONE kind of magic. he gives people special tattoos on the inside of their forearms to make sure they can't use more than one (which draws some uncomfortable parrallels to the holocaust considering we learn that belos wants to commit genocide against the witches)

so that's our villain but at the end of season two a new villain is introduced. a little creepy jester God Baby (heretofore known as GodBaby.) GodBaby wants to play. GodBaby destroys belos in one fell swoop and literally kills all the tension of the season two finally with a twitch of his finger, then GodBaby enslaves the planet as his playthings. Luz and her friends escape to the human world, but find they can't return.

When they DO return to the human world, they literally just explain to GodBaby that you have to ASK if people want to play with you and GodBaby immediately stops being the villain. The villain is now, again, Belos, who has been crawling around as a rather pathetic piles of deer shaped goo. There's your narrative context.

I found this was a huge waste of tension. they destroyed their villain, taking away all his credibility, his power, everything that makes him threatening to introduce this NEW guy, the new guy is convinced to the good side in a four minute conversation, all so you can bring this entirely non-threatening guy back for five seconds. this might have been alright if it didn't take place over the course of two and a half episodes. it wasnt DRAMATIC nor was it SATISFYING.

so that's the villains, now for the protagonists. Willow and Gus, our two side characters of colour, are underfocused on (as they have been throughout the entire show). Hunter, my favourite character, has basically the entire first episode dedicated to his suffering. i guess im biased cause I love that kid, but forty minutes of him getting infected with UncleGoop, slowly becoming paranoid and losing his mind, and then turning into some kinda (POORLY DESIGNED) deer beast, and then trying to KILL HIMSELF and THEN his first friend and beloved pet bird sacrificing itself to save his life..... hoooooooooooo. it was farrrrr too fucking much in my opinion. my man just wanted to cosplay. but i guess that's more of a personal thing.

Luz is in her depression era. she's upset because she thinks that everything is her fault, completely understandable. was i moved by it at all? noooooo.

amityyyyy. exists to be a good girlfriend. and that's OKAY. i'd probably like her way more if they hadn't turned the cunt beam down. she used to be a real bitch and that's when she was at her most interesting TO ME. IMO.

the most egregious thing to me is episode 2. that episode focused HEAVILY on side characters and stories I have no interest in when the stakes were supposed to be at their highest. they give boscha (fucking boscha?) a redemption arc when I was moe worried about hunter killing his uncle and luz freeing all the puppeteered slaves. and why are you INTRODUCING STORYLINES WHEN YOU HAVE LESS THAN SIXTY MINUTES OF SHOW LEFT???? it was very veryyy fucking frustrating.

last episode. i barely rememeber it. luz has he depression healed by the power of becoming a kaiju. hunter can now use magic because he ate his magic bird to survive. i was yawning.

when i talk shit about the owl house its because I was so fucking let down by its conclusion. I understand that the team had less to work with, but so did the crew on Rise, and they made an excellent conclusion to their series. because 2/3 seasons in that show were mid (TO ME!!! IN MYYYY OPINION!!!) i don't value it as much as I value shows like gravity falls or infinity train or rottmnt. if you or anybody reading this liked it, that's okay! live your truth. i did Not fuck with it though.

[tigresslanzhu]

It’s Your Character That Counts: Buster Moon

Yeeeeeeah, things aren’t looking that great for Buster, but we all expected that.

We all know that Buster absolutely sucks here. The guy kept up the facade of the $100,000 prize money in the first film (although in his defense, the extra zeroes were an accident), he kept promising previous stage crew employees that there’d be payed, but because of financial constraints, couldn’t do so and COME ON! He was willing to steal electricity and water, all for the sake of keeping his theater afloat!

And don’t get me started on the second film. He stole equipment to break in to the Crystal auditions, promised a major celebrity would perform in the newly pitched space opera and of course, continued to lie about it, even when he got caught. To be honest though, he did try to find Clay Calloway and was confident that he’d get him to agree to perform after 15 years of solitude.

I can’t really say anything for the future of Buster Moon, as we’re not getting any solid information on a well deserved Sing follow-up, but I think we all know that Buster is going to lie to get his way again all to get ahead!

Well… he’s getting there in regards to respect.

You can see that during his open auditions he let anyone who wanted to perform, and at least unlike Jimmy Crystal, he let them all finish before making a proper verdict. That doesn’t stop him from axing some good performers for ridiculous reasons, (nervous flatulence, being too tall to communicate, etc.) And even with the acts he wanted to keep, he still belittled most of them in some way. “A soulful guy like you tenderly playing the keys” to Johnny, him rolling his r’s when addressing Rosita the first time (DUDE, just because someone is named Rosita, it doesn’t automatically mean they are Hispanic) and don’t get me started on his “pop star princess” suggestions for Ash! Also we know that the real reason Buster didn’t want the red panda idols in his show was because he had never been taught about Japanese culture before so communication was almost impossible. It’s quite clear that he had ZERO tolerance for these performers who didn’t speak English.

The second film? Much better. He treats his cast much better, although he’s still not perfect. Buster notices that Meena isn’t very comfortable with Darius, but because he had won a bunch of awards, he still pushes her in the role. And do you call breaking into a reclusive rock star’s mansion respectful? No siree Bob! Even if it did help Clay in the long run, I’m sure there are more proper ways to get his attention. Maybe he could have tried to contact Clay’s lawyer? I dunno! 🤷🏻‍♀️

This is sort of conflicting… In regards to perseverance, Buster has got it down natch! In regards to doing what he should and setting reasonable goals? Uhhhhh… NO! The guy said he wanted to do a singing competition, but went about it the wrong way! Instead of selecting only six slots for his favorite acts, he should have charged for an audience to watch these performers and vote on who they wanted to move on!

It takes him a long time to realize the consequences of his actions, but to he honest, he does try and correct his mistakes on occasion. When Jimmy confronted Buster about him “firing” Porsha, he told him that it was a misunderstanding, as he wanted to give the lead role of Out Of at his World back to Rosita, not that the mogul listened, but the koala did try!

This one is a pinch higher than the last pillar, but only slightly. As mentioned before, Buster did give everyone a chance to audition for the Singing Competition and left no one behind. While that definitely helps him be a fair person, the theater owner is awful at one important aspect of fairness… BEING A GOOD LISTENER!

If you think long and hard, the main contribution of the conflicts in the first film were because Buster didn’t listen to his co-stars. No matter how many times Ash points out that she’s not going to wear pink or sing cheesy pop songs, hehe koala still expected her to do what he wanted. He didn’t seem to want to hear any of Johnny’s concerns and he clearly seemed to favor Mike a lot more than everyone else.

Okay, this one is pretty self explanatory and the fullest pillar of them all! All his decisions, good and bad are mostly because he cares! He cares about his theater, his dad’s efforts, his cast and crew… that doesn’t make it right, but Buster does want to do all he can to show that he’s a compassionate person!

Yeah, no!

I only have this a little higher than trustworthiness because after the first film, I think he got a little better at managing money and is better able to pay his dues when necessary. The guy still broke the law on several occasions in both films and even used Meena as an accomplice. Heck, by Sing 2, he makes everyone an accomplice! Once again. I should state that if another Sing movie happens, we can guarantee that he’s gonna disobey more laws and that he’s lucky he’s not dealing with a lifetime in prison!

[brucenorris007]

Okay, I think I covered everything else that’s on my mind about this movie. Which just leaves....

Well. Puss, the themes and Death are so closely tied together that I can’t really talk about any one of them without also getting into the others, so... 

*Breathe in*

SO.

Death. 

“I don’t mean metaphorically, poetically, spiritually or theoretically. Straight-up.”

It–and he–are a constant presence throughout the movie, and the film isn’t shy about it. Horner’s men are swatted down like flies without even the dignity of having individual names assigned to them. The first five minutes are dedicated to showing us who Puss in Boots, the legend, is and his characteristically cavalier swashbuckling attitude toward everything

even in those five minutes, it’s been brought to my attention that Death, the character, is lurking in the crowd, watching and waiting for Puss’ eighth life to end, which it does at the end of the film’s first action sequence. (gorgeous sequence, natch)

knowing Dreamworks, I’m sure they found even more ways than that to weave death into the visuals, but the really genius thing is something I realized just in the midst of typing up a previous post

Papa Bear keeps suggesting that their family head home to hibernate, which fits in with his obvious desire to nap, yes, but it also implies the movie is set in autumn

as in the season before winter, when things freeze and die

Puss in Boots is on his last life, literally the last of stretch of the AUTUMN of his mortal time on earth 

AASDFSDFGDSDF dreamworks you beautiful brilliant MMMM

the otherworldly whistling that precedes Death’s soundtrack and appearance on screen is eerie and haunting and piercing, suits the character of death so well because even as it sticks with you it’s still startling and chilling each time you hear it

And of course I’m sure many youtuber’s have already said it, Death is a great villain because he’s not particularly a villain, but the personified phenomenon we all must face at some point made real (again, “Straight up”) who’s doing his job. the primary trait that makes him a character instead of some mystery man metaphor is that he loathes Puss for his complacency towards life

ironically, Death actually treasures life more than anyone; if he didn’t, he wouldn’t have spent the film hunting Puss to prematurely end his last life, nor would he have let Puss go at the end

and that brings us to the transformation Puss goes through from Legend to Man. er, Cat.

everything that he learns throughout the film, all the growth he undergoes ties back to who he is when he first meets Death and when he meets Death at the end of the movie and it’s all about letting go. letting go of the delusion that he’ll be fine no matter what danger he throws himself into, of the legend he’s created for himself about himself

The task is the same both times; Puss has to confront Death. Nothing about that fact actually changes, he still has to do it alone at the end of the film, he still can’t definitively defeat Death

but Puss himself changes; he lets go of his image of being a fearless hero, accepts that he’s afraid of Death, he lets go of the hope that he can outrun death through using the fallen star’s wish, he lets go of prioritizing all the moments of winning glory over his past lives and learns to cherish those more mundane and innocuous moments he’s had in this life.

Puss sheds the Legend he once was to be the Cat behind the legend. and the awesome part is that he doesn’t lose out on anything in doing so; the cat he is at the end of the film isn’t weaker than the cat he was at the start, nor is his life less fulfilling. Life isn’t more colorful than it was before, and he doesn’t give up swashbuckling either; he just learns to cherish and fight for the life he’s got

In the end, neither he nor any of the cast really need the wish, and that’s the great moral of the film; the things you need in life, the things you really want, you don’t need magic for. So long as you have your priorities straight, they can be found

i think that’s all from me, then. good night

[californiaelitewells]

AEW Dynamite 06/28/23 Review

Jon Moxley vs Tomhiro Ishii

2 great talent. Im interested in seeing if AEW will play ok the Chaos vs BCC storyline we saw start at New Japan Resurgence.

A solid opening to the episode. I wasnt anticipating the angle until after the end of the match, but seeing Eddie make a surprise entrance as an oppurtunity to attack Claudio. I assume in hopes Mox would be too busy with his natch to interfere.

After the commercial break it seems Eddie has calmed down only in that he's not actively approaching Claudio. Instead shoosing to stare at him fron across the ring.

Mox gets the win but its its obvios theres syill tension with him and Eddie Kingston.

Parking Lot Segment

This story between MJF and Adam Cole is going exactly where I think its gonna go.

MJF is going to try and and turn Adam Cole heel, and Cole will try the to the same to MJF conversly turning him Face.

BCC segment with Renee

This was pretty much for Eddie to explain why he went out during Mox's match. I would call it a little selfish for Eddie to expect mox to all of a sudden not want Mox to hang around Claudio.

Orange Cassidy, El Hijo del Vikingo, and Keith Lee vs Jericho Appreciation Society (Daniel Garcia, Matt Menard, and Angelo Parker)

2.Oh havent been on TV for a while I dont think, long enough for me to actually be excited to see them again.

I'm also happy to see El Hijo del Vikingo back on Dynamite, loved Forbidden Door, but I will say there was a distinct lack of Lucha.

Solid match. Tony really just says all babyfaces are friends. I think that's fine.

Hungbucks Dark Order backstage segment

Oooo drama between the Dark Order and Hangman. It makes total sense for Dark Order to be upset with Hangman, especially since the bucks always seem to disappear every time Hangman is in trouble. I'm excited to see what happens with their match.

Chris Jericho and Sammy Guevara backstage segment

I didn't have much to say about their match on Sunday. I noticed that they didn't really progress anything regarding Sammy and Jericho, and neither did this segment.

Dark Order vs The Elite

6 AEW originals so I'm very happy to see this match.

I really hope we see a healthy showing of the dark order recruitment specialist.

So I'm not expecting Dark Order to win, and neither am I expecting Hangman and The Bucks to stop tagging together anytime soon, so with that, it is possible Dark Order could be using this opportunity to return. To their roots as villains.

It feels like a possibility with how willing Uno is to attack Hangman while he's on the apron.

Hangman is finally ready to take his opposing team seriously, and he ends up being pinned for a Newark fall the fans were really into.

Just when I typed that John Silver reversed the Buckshot Lariat into his own pin attempt for the second closest near fall in the match.

Adam Page reluctantly pins for the win.

So, instead of giving us more Dark Order, the BCC decides to use this moment to attack the Elite. We do get something though as it seems Dark Order is choosing not to do anything for Hangman. Even Kongston is out here to fight off the BCC.

Looks like Forbidden Door wasn't the last we seen of Don either since him and his new son Konosuke Takeshita are out here to be apart of Jon's official challenge for BLOOD AND GUTS.

I'm excited for Blood and Guts forsure. I'm not sure if it's just going to be Eddie instead of Kenny on the side of the Elite, but if so there's definitely room to add another player for each team. Especially since it seems Don's whole character is to be an Antagonist for Kenny's story.

There's a lot of ways this story could go, and I'm glad there are a lot of different threads that connect to the drama each character has had so far in AEW.

Another parking lot segment with MJF and Adam Cole.

I like MJF's generic white boy line referring to Roderick Strong.

Also confirmed MJF doesn't watch Dynamite

Jungle Boy Jack Perry Promo

Now that he's a Heel Jack Perry wears sunglasses. I guess now that we have MJF to do the Tag Team storyline, and Christian is on Collision, we need someone to just go out there and talk shit for a whole segment.

Never mind, we're getting a youpeople promo.

After talking about Hook for a minute, Hook makes his entrance, and Perry hightales it out of the ring.

We cut to back stage where Jack Perry barely escapes in his get awar car

Sammy Guevara Sign Promo

He's cutting a promo on sting. I like how they are able to use this as a way to both; let Sammy cut a promo and get the Advertisements out the way.

Ruby Soho vs Alexia Nicole (Who didn't get a lower third)

This was supposed to be a match against Britt Baker, so I'm not expecting this to be a very competitive match. We'll probably see Ruby use this as more of an angle to call out Britt.

Ruby ends this match with Britts finisher, the Lockjaw. Pretty regular stuff. All capped off with the post match Spray paint.

Oh cool post match promo too.

Johnny TV Backstage Promo

I like John Hennigan and all his silly names. He fits more with the whole QTV gimmick more than Hobbs did. Rampage is also getting its own identity now, but it's felt like it's getting one for the past few months now, and I'm not sure if it is ever going to reach that point.

Main Event: Tornado Tag Team Match: Sting and Darby Allin vs Chris Jericho and Sammy Guevara

I really hate that shitty flash movie that plays in the background of Sammy's entrance.

If i remember correctly, this is the 3rd time we saw the Painmaker character on Dynamite.

I like the tornado tag rules as a tv stipulation. Makes the match feel faster paced and chaotic.

Oh, geez. Sting jumped off the ladder onto Sammy, who was on 2 tables. I dont know if that was a great landing. It looks like sting may have landed his pelvis on the edge of one table and bumped his face on the second.

Sting somehow gets up and ends up in the walls of Jericho. Luckily, he was able to use the Painmakers own bat against him.

There's a lot of interesting depth to this story between Sting and Jericho, as we see Ating using all the moves he used back in the 90s and Jericho using the collection of moves he has gained in the years since. I feel there's a lot of possibility with this fued.

Sting wins with the Scorpion Death Lock

Closing thoughts

It feels like not much was developed in this episode aside from the MJF and Adam Cole story as well as Hangman and The Dark Order.

I'm excited to see Rampage and to see if they build anything else towards blood and guts this week.

Once again thanks for reading my review. Let me know your thoughts on this episode, are you expecting to be in Blood and Guts?

[mizufae]

I posted 938 times in 2022

238 posts created (25%)

700 posts reblogged (75%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@tijuanabiblestudies

@paramaline

@mascarons

@ghostalservice

@wexlermendelssohn

I tagged 727 of my posts in 2022

Only 22% of my posts had no tags

#star trek - 39 posts

#oh hey art happened - 16 posts

#food - 14 posts

#botw - 13 posts

#laugh rule - 12 posts

#miniature things - 11 posts

#bnha - 11 posts

#craiyon - 11 posts

#the gloaming - 9 posts

#forbidden jellies - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i’m imagining everyone else shows up in like cardboard and snow boots and will feels overdressed until everyone begs him to help them match

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I have sealed my fate in hell this hallow's eve by making a pumpkin hat for my cats

13 notes - Posted October 31, 2022

#4

I would pay a whole sixty dollars new Nintendo game price for a Breath of the Wild DLC that added a whole traveling naturalist storyline where they’ve made a way to update the sheika sensor with new entries for all of the non-useful flora in Hyrule, like the different flowers in the fields, the different types of trees, the thorn bushes and shrubs… maybe even the types of rocks? Anyway, add to that all the non-combative fauna like the different birds and squirrels and different creatures, maybe also the bugs and lizards?? Maybe the different colorations of horses? And the storyline would be that Link needs to go around and photograph all of these to contribute to a great compendium to help Hyrule recover from the lingering effects of the great calamity. Maybe it would start with Beedle asking you if you have any pictures of beetles collected, because he’s writing a book on his collection (which you could later buy from him and store in your house, natch), but there would be different types of things asked by different people but maybe one of the sheikah scientists helps you collate it all together into a compendium, or maybe there is a scientist OC. I imagine Flowerblight Gannon would demand pictures of every type of ornamental flower. Anyway you would get incremental rewards and hints for finding the more elusive and rare things when you turn in pictures. Maybe that Korok who wants to see a picture of a blupee would point you to other more mystical things. And if you complete everything you get a cutscene with a bunch of happy scientists and intrigued school children and instead of calling you the hero some people call you the famous naturalist.

15 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

#3

@brofisting in makeup news, I have been splurging on some stuff and have some thoughts and conclusions!

I think that your conclusion from before, that everybody notices way less about skin texture than we do on ourselves, is totally true. But ALSO, that a lot of makeup, specifically foundation and adjacent, are intended to change the apparent texture of the skin. That looking like you are wearing makeup is, in fact, intentional. I think the conclusion is that skin is not in and of itself a desirable base for “looks” and it interferes with, yknow, capitalism. It seems like getting a true skin-but-better appearance is one of the hardest and most idiosyncratic things a makeup utilizing person can aim for.

Like, I have watched many videos and read many articles now on how to apply foundation when you have peach fuzz and stubble and that shit involves like, numerous layers of smooshing silicone all over and very fussy brush movements and presumably like, not moving your face until everything sets and then wtf I guess like, not moving for the rest of the day either??

I have also investigated how to apply foundation for older skin, skin with fine lines, skin with uneven base tones, etc. And a ton of it is either like, get those pores out of here, we can’t let them know we osmose! or like, now that you are a gaunt corpse with saggy fat lumps you have to rub this magic stone on your face every day for no reason I can explain!

So this all seems like bullshit and there is only one strain of advice I’ve come across that in any way seems legit for people who are not doing a 4K HD photoshoot in the next twenty minutes and/or a drag show, and that is: just don’t use foundation at all, because it creates a problem to be solved. Instead, use carefully chosen and applied concealer and tinted moisturizers in judiciously chosen zones, and focus on skin health. This seems to be the tack that k-beauty takes, or at least it used to, and it seems to be the best way for old people to look old and still have fun with makeup without looking like they forgot to put on half their face.

So like, things I’ve bought and have messed around with:

Fenty Beauty Eaze Drop Blurring Skin Tint - this shit is definitely top tier. Unlike other tinted moisturizers I’ve tried it doesn’t cake up in creases and really does seem to blur discoloration and spots. But it doesn’t interfere with skin texture and in areas where I have stubble or hair it doesn’t cling to it either. I was able to buff it out with my fingers without seeing prints, and I was able to layer on more for more coverage on a spot with a tiny cut and it didn’t get shiny.

Bare Minerals tinted moisturizer - this stuff cakes up on my dry skin BUT is a much higher coverage than the fenty stuff and is a better match for my weirdly neutral skin undertone, and it has spf. I think if I were oily it would be better. I like their powder products more but I’m not mad about this one because I can use it in combination with other products to cover stuff like a healing zit.

Bare minerals liquid concealer - definitely the best match for my skin tone. It’s ever so slightly lighter but doesn’t have any color correction and it doesn’t settle much into fine lines like other thicker concealers do. I can put some on the inner corner of my eyes, some on the redness around my nose and some on the corners of my mouth and trust that it won’t look like I have huge blobs of concealer dotted around but that it will cover any redness that I get over the day, and helps me control stuff like my resting bitch face through careful use of lipstick and eyeliner. I have also used a tiny bit as an eyeshadow base since it’s such a close match.

Elf camo concealer - damn this shit thicc. It is definitely lighter and more warm toned than my skin and mad opaque. I used way too much of it when I first tried it, not cuz I was doing guru triangles but because it just like glopped on there. If I take a teeny tiny brush and load it from the doe foot applicator, and then use it to kind of… outline my eye bags, and pop it on juuuuust a couple places where I have some dark spots, and then very very carefully bounce a damp sponge along those lines to feather it out, but not too much!! I can get some color correction and very subtle contouring (is it reverse contouring?? If it’s only highlight??) that is totally not gonna go anywhere until I wash it off. Putting it on UNDER tinted moisturizer seems to help, it’s like doing an overlay layer so it makes things more harmonious. Face, photoshop, what’s the difference honestly.

Neutrogena oil cleanser: oil cleansing is REAL. I have been doing this a few times a week for a few weeks now and my skin is way less flaky and my under eye puffiness is a bit less (I think cuz of the massage aspect, so just do lymphatic massage if you don’t want to do oil cleansing) and some of my hormonal zits went through their cycle MUCH faster. Also I seem to have less visibly oxidized sebaceous filaments on my nose and chin, hurrah! Like, they are still there, but they aren’t clogged or bumpy feeling. I tried a couple other oil cleansers and this one is cheap and not smelly and washes clean, like, it really does turn a milky texture when you get it wet and lifts off the skin easily, unlike a certain bee-themed brand which was sticky for like two days after.

Just straight up jojoba oil: I have been slapping this onto my dry flaky eczema patches and it doesn’t mitigate the itch but my skin is SO MUCH faster at being not horribly red and inflamed when I leave this on there. It absorbs really well and doesn’t leave residue and I assume if I am ever actually sufficiently moisturized that won’t be the case but as it is I appear to be a sponge for this. It is helping my chronically chapped lips! It doesn’t taste like ass like a lot of other intense moisturizers, and isn’t an exfoliant or anything, but it seems to be helping the wrinkly parts of my lips be less wrinkly. Which leads to better lipstick application and so-on.

I did indeed shave my face with one of those little face razors. I am now stubbly and the texture is NOT desirable. The moment I did it I played around with makeup and it was okay, but maybe not like… better than when I’d done it pre-shave. And like, later that night I had shadow, so… fuck that. I think I’m gonna mess around with sugaring my stache and chin hair, and definitely leaving my cheek fuzz to be free and flowing. I think that not using a foundation at ALL on areas where I have dark hair is actually better than trying to cover it up.

Let me know how your quest to be the hottest boy band boy is going!

25 notes - Posted May 12, 2022

#2

Broke: when they are in civvies, bakugou is goth punk, midoriya is a candy pastel cutie

Woke: they both go incognito, bakugou wears soft lavender and cute character merch with fluffy sweaters, midoriya is full goth with eyeliner and torn fishnets and studded leather

Bespoke: neither of them have a single thought beyond heroing in their heads and thus graduate with only school uniforms and ancient gym clothes, they run into each other in full costume at 3am at target shopping for pj pants a month after graduation.

50 notes - Posted March 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

One thing that helps me identify purity culture in disguise is asking this question: are they telling me what is and is not pure, or are they giving me a framework to decide for myself and only myself? Like, for example, when talking about fandom stuff, is a person saying a story that contains certain things will be bad universally for everyone, or is someone saying that the reason something is bad for them and possibly for me is because it contains those certain things and why that is? In something like nutrition, is someone giving “advice” that talks about lists of things I must include and exclude from my diet because we all must optimize our machine-bodies? Or is someone explaining how certain foods can make some people feel different things, how to recognize those feelings and ideas for how to change that if we think it necessary? In religion, is someone telling me what god declares about all people, or is someone talking about how we can individually relate to the things their god has declared?

65 notes - Posted May 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[daysofourlivesrecaps]

Monday, 5 June 2023

If I didn’t know about this show’s insanely long production cycle, I could swear that they were addressing my specific concerns right now.

First: Chloe. Chloe has never been interesting to me. But I want her to be! The performer seems pretty capable! They just haven’t given her anything good to do since I started watching. And that’s partially because any time they have something potentially good for her, it happens offscreen. Like the confrontation she had with Gwen on her first day working at the Spectator.

WHY WOULD THEY NOT SHOW US THAT?

But the good part comes when Xander talks her down, cooks her a Scottish breakfast-for-dinner and then turns the charm up so far that the dial breaks off. This culminates in a little speech about how Scottish people have invented all kinds of important things, including kissing. “They didn’t invent kissing,” says Chloe. “Well, okay. But we did perfect it.” And then they kiss!

When these two moved in together, I could not have been less interested. But they have real chemistry and I completely bought this little mini-seduction.

Second: we’re finally moving forward with the “Nicole’s pregnancy” plot! Soaps are famous for dragging plots out unnecessarily, but honestly, Days does this so infrequently that I notice (and get bugged) when it does happen.

But now we have an answer! And the baby is… not Eric’s! Which means it’s EJ’s! Eric is dejected. EJ is thrilled and supportive. It’s all very cute, but this is not the last we’ll hear of this plot today. The rest was a proper DUN-DUN-DUUUUUN! (played on an old school pipe organ, natch) moment, so I’ll save it for the end.

While all of this is happening at the hospital, Jada visits Sloan’s apartment with a warrant (again) and tosses the place (again) looking for evidence of Colin. She finds none. The number of times the Salem PD hassles this poor women for the EXACTLY ZERO CRIMES she’s committed is insane to me, especially given that she’s a lawyer.

But Sloan is not defenseless. As Jada rifles through her stuff, she catches the detective up on current events. “Hey, remember when you were pregnant with Eric’s baby and Nicole talked you into having an abortion? Remember the awful, complicated web of emotions that created? Well now Nicole’s pregnant and it might be Eric’s!”

Just in case you doubted that Sloan plays fucking hardball.

Gwen has heard that Dimitri Von Leuschner (pictured here in an accurately terrible rendition of what I can only assume is his passport photo) is in town and tries to convince Leo to seek the guy out for a story. Leo passes (not before mentioning how much he’d like to kiss Dimitri and also fuck him), so Gwen decides to go after the story herself.

And speaking of Dimitri, we resume seeing what he’s up to right after he told his mother not to have a cow to cool her jets.

First, he reminds us that he’s met his Aunt Kristen before, in the Beyond Salem miniseries, where she had a gun pointed at his genitals for an entire scene. (This was actually an entirely different Kristen, but explaining what that means would only confuse matters.)

Then his mother presents her latest scheme: to marry them to one another. No, seriously.

They’re not blood relatives, she argues. And the Von Leuschner family has a bunch of money for Dimitri if he gets married before he turns 40. And he’s currently 39. (“39 and 3/4,” adds Megan in the most economically written piece of Overbearing Mom dialogue imaginable.)

Kristen and Dimitri both reject the idea. “But then who will my son marry?” she says, seconds before Gwen enters with the flawless comedic timing of these two.

“Giving Gwen something interesting to do” was very high on the aforementioned wish list and I could not be more thrilled by this direction. But wait. There’s one more beautiful Gift for AAl Specifically today.

Eric returns home and catches Sloan up about the Nicole situation. Sloan expresses sympathy for Eric, but also relief.

Then we get this amazing flashback where we find out that Sloan actually swabbed her own cheek so that the test would come back negative! So that baby could still be Eric’s after all!

DUN-DUN-DUUUUUN!

[elapsed-spiral]

Fic Delivery Service!

So, AO3 is still down and looks like it might be down for a while (boo, leave the poor website alone, ya weirdos).

In the meantime, if you're desperate for a fic, I've got the following fics of mine available as PDFs. As an added bonus, I can send them to the email address of your choosing using the burner email account I used to make my Google Docs SMAU. In other words, if you fancy reading any of the following fics as a PDF, Stede Bonnet can send them to you! DM me if you'd like any!

Cool collaboration(s) you should read immediately:

Work Experience: what if Ed went to meet Stede when the Revenge ran aground? And what if Ed became a member of Stede’s crew? And what if things kept escalating and… Canon AU. Mature. Co-written with Shearwater.

Really no excuse for how stupid these ones are:

Watch Out, Here I Come: what if Stede had been intentionally seducing Ed? Teen

Once More, With Feeling: what if Frenchie just fixed the season 1 finale fiasco because he’s the most capable guy on the ship? Teen

Talent Show: what if Ed was crass about his sexual preferences? Explicit

Capsize on Your Thighs: what if Ed rebounded onto Calico Jack at the end of season 1? Ed/CJ and Ed/Stede (but Ed/Stede is endgame, natch). Explicit

Your Feedback is Important to Us: what if Stede started holding open cabin hours to allow the crew to air their grievances (but was also very repressed and horny over Ed)? Explicit

Oh no Ed’s working through gender/class stuff (but make it funny):

Finery: Ed gets to wear a dress, Stede spontaneously combusts. Explicit

Tell More Tales: Stede isn’t the only writer aboard the Revenge. Explicit

Lovers and Madmen: Ed is hellbent on marrying Stede. Explicit

AUs no-one asked for:

Conflict of Interest: lawyer!Stede/businessman!Ed (read: gangster). Modern AU. Explicit

Intergalactic Tango: Space Waltz AU. Mature

Trade Descriptions Act: bailiff!Ed/estate agent!Stede. Identity theft but make it meet cute. Modern AU. Teen

Baddy Zaddy: Bridget Jones’s Diary style, former porn star turned sex shop owner!Ed/still unfortunately landed gentry!Stede. Novel length modern AU. Explicit

Prize Every Time: You’ve Got Mail-y secret pen pals but also business rivals. Novel length modern AU. Explicit

Your Favourite Song: locksmith!Ed/museum curator!Stede. Kinktober fill that somehow isn’t E rated. Modern AU. Teen

Draft Letter to Restaurant Downstairs: Google Docs AU with a (slightly) interactive element. Modern AU. Teen

Blind Date: Stede and Jeffrey Fettering go on a blind date at Ed’s restaurant. I think you know where this is going. Modern AU. Explicit

Different Dimension: ficlet that crams four and a bit AUs into 850 words. Modern AU. Teen

Stuck Still: British holiday resort AU feat. events manager!Stede and bartender turned fairy!Ed (it makes sense in the story I swear). Modern AU. Explicit

On the Job: “kidnapping” meet cute (but not actually. Again, I swear it makes sense in the story). Modern AU. Teen

Starring Jason Statham: another weird meet cute, courtesy of Jack and the Fast and Furious franchise. Stede/Jack, Ed/Jack and Ed/Stede (Ed/Stede is once again end game). Modern AU. Teen

West Ham Is for Lovers: Lucius has a new job. It’s going fine. Completely, totally fine. A meet cute fic about meet cutes. Ed/Stede but also Lucius/Pete, Lucius/Fang, Lucius/Izzy and Lucius/Olu/Jim. Modern AU. Teen

Proud: Ed attends Pride to get free mum hugs, Stede attends Pride to give free dad hugs. Modern AU. Teen

Conventional: back in the 00s, Ed was in a very famous movie franchise. Nowadays, he does the convention circuit. Modern AU. Explicit

KrakenAir: Stede and the crew are heading to Benidorm to celebrate Stede coming out. That is, if Stede's all expenses spared KrakenAir flight ever departs. Modern AU. Teen

Oh no there’s been a containment breach (aka non-Blackbonnet fics):

We Do What We Like (and We Like What We Do): A brief history of Ed and Jack. Explicit (Ed/CJ)

Fealty: Stede and Izzy make one another even more miserable. Mature (Stede/Izzy)

Contra Proferentem: Ed is a high powered lawyer and Professor of Law at the University of Cambridge. Lucius is not a high powered lawyer but he is a lecturer of English Lit at the University of Cambridge. Stede own a very nice cafe. Explicit (platonic Ed/Lucius, Ed/Stede, no cheating involved)

[barry-j-blupjeans]

22/16 angst with the twins?

16. "I wish you were here."

22. "It wasn't your fault."

--

"God, could this thing be any slower?" Lup asked, hitting the side of the laptop twice with the palm of her hand. The screen crackled, the edges going a bit static. From behind her, Barry said,

"I'm real sorry, babe-"

"It wasn't your fault," she cut off. "I'm the one who caught the other one on fire."

"I'm the one who forgot we owned a fire extinguisher and threw it in the bathtub," Barry said. Which, yeah, that was fair. He came up behind her, resting a hand on her head and ruffling her hair. Lup swatted him again and he just grinned. "Is this one gonna work, though?"

"Yes," Lup said, too terrified of what maybe or no would get her. "It's fine."

"You're, uh. You're nervous."

"Am I?" Lup snapped. Barry withdrew his hand, taking a sip from his mug. She put her face in her hands for a second, taking a deep breath in. "Sorry. You're right, I'm nervous. I just- I haven't seen Taako since we were six. I don't want a shitty laptop to stand between me seeing him again."

"Understandable," Barry said. "The one I ordered should be in by tomorrow, but-"

"I can live with this," Lup said, gesturing to the screen. She was trying to wait patiently for Taako to start the video call. She was getting very impatient about it. "I don't need to see him in HD, this is fine. I promise."

"I love you," Barry said, kissing her head. "I'll be just in the other room if you need-"

The laptop made a little buzzing noise and Lup looked back to the screen to see a notification pop up.

Taako Taaco wants to video call.

"Oh, shit!" Lup said, scrambling to find the mouse. The trackpad didn't work on this laptop. "I- babe, I love you- get out. Please."

"I'll be just out here!" Barry said quickly, scurrying to the door. It had barely closed before Lup had pressed the accept button. The screen crackled again, static eating up at the corners, but the video call opened. There was a horrible, tense second where it took its time to load, and then

There was Taako.

He looked exactly like he had in that interview she watched about him. But also, somehow, completely different. TV Taako carried himself with casual grace, makeup perfectly applied, TV-ready at seemingly any time. This Taako had grace too, but it was the kind of grace a toddler had after crashing from a sugar high. Not quite a mess, but nowhere near perfect. Lup's heart ached at the sight.

They stared at each other.

He looked so much like her, was the thing. They had both dyed their hair different colors, but they both had their roots showing. Their noses were the same. Their eyes were the same. It was like looking into a weird sort of mirror.

"Taako?" she asked apprehensively and he smiled, with the same tooth gap she had.

"I wish you were here," he blurted out. "Kravitz- my boyfriend, Kravitz, he's got like- this big setup thing? He's a streamer, it's great, natch, but- he's got this big setup thing and you- I mean, it's just. Not the same. Even if you're in very high quality."

"I'm on a laptop from 2002," Lup confessed and Taako laughed like he didn't believe it, but said,

"Well, then we've really got to set something up, don't we?"

[iphoenixrising]

DickTim Week 2021: Day 5 Winged!Talon Tim au

So. another dual prompt and I really regret nothing about this one tbh. I took tomorrow’s Talon and today’s Wings and made a Winged!Talon!Tim fic. Of course, I talked to the wonderful babes on Capes & Coffee about a what if combination and this just, whew. Careful, it might break your heart a little, but damn if it isn’t an interesting idea.

Not beta read, so don't be a hater :D

Previous Talon!Tim universe posts: The initial idea, Babe and I talking it out, Talon Training Ask, Ra’s vs the Court, Talon and Ra’s, Talon and Ra’s take 2, Talon and Shiva short.

**

Watching B take on the new and improved Talon is really the entertainment of the year.

Once upon a time it had taken all of them plus more to take down as much of the Court of Owls as humanly possible. Of course, like rats, the Bats knew there would be no way to get the entire Court or all the Talons, not when the upper echelons of Gotham had spent the better part of 200 years creating, storing, training, and obtaining more.

Politicians were investigated, corrupt cops removed, and criminals burrowed underground once word of what the capes did to save the day got passed around.

For the first time in years, crime in Gotham was at an all time low.

But, as the coin flip dictates, nothing good lasts forever. Trouble is always brewing below the surface to eventually rise to the top and try to take over.

Case in point:

The Bats of Gotham have come up against a new threat wearing the signature Talon armor, and the call goes out to all available capes for help taking on the undead mercenary before another crime family ends up in the Obituaries rather than Blackgate.

The fact the Court is still up and running after the Batfamily took them down in a fiery blaze that ended with all their Talons gone, Sensei exposed, and most the ruling families imprisoned or poisoned by Lincoln March, is like a kick to the abdomen after they closed that particular book. Worse, with a new Talon soldier is sighted running around Gotham, another circus kid has been kidnapped and turned into the right hand of the Court of Owls. Dick, with his absolute survivors guilt, is the one to make going after the Talon and whoever is still behind the scenes a top priority.

Which is how they find themselves in the middle of Knight’s Stadium facing down a Talon that is too short to be March. Red Hood, Nightwing, Robin, Batgirl, and Black Bat pretty much got their asses handed to them in the first twelve minutes. Pretty hard to understand until you take into account the new and improved Talon facing them now is terrifying in a completely different way than most undead assassins are.

He knows them.

He knows them in ways that lets him fight fast and furious with vicious accuracy, striking at weaknesses few of the vigilantes of Gotham realized they even had.

He isn't as big as Lincoln or even Cobb, not nearly as old. He hasn't been kept in cryostasis waiting for the next generation to need his skills. He doesn't have creaks in his joints from being put on deep freeze too many times.

This one is silent and efficient, obviously trained in multiple types of martial arts, is highly proficient with or without the standard Talon knives, is a master tactician, counters the majority of their moves with alarming consistency–

and the fucking Talon has wings.

Honest-to-God wings.

Everyone had assumed the metal monstrosities on his back were weapons of some kind, but the glint of steel in the streetlight flash a warning before the lumps moved in an arch, extending far out past his shoulder blades, slicing into Red Hood’s body suit with a razor-sharp edge, shredding the armor like paper.

It’s not enough he’s got weapons obviously made specifically for his skill set, it’s not enough he’s an assassin and doesn’t hold to the same standards of non-lethal combat, it’s not enough that he can use his wings to fly or to fight like he’s using another limb to kick the shit out of them, and it’s not enough that he effortlessly counters so many of their attacks that he has to have some kind of inside information on all of them and their fighting styles.

The knives are definitely a thing when the Talon can throw them hard enough to penetrate parts of their suits in between armored plating, which further drives the theory that this is a person they’ve dealt with before. Intimately. Few people in the world know how their suits are made. Even more, few people know particulars enough when their suits are constantly reconstructed.

The only thing on their side that tipped the scales in their favor–

–the Batman.

The wings threw him off his game, obviously, but not enough to stop B from holding his own with swift and merciless force.

It's like watching a dance of fast and furious fists, blades in Talon's hands glinting deadly in the night, finding B's suit over and over and over until he's made it to blood and bone. He takes every hit the Batman can dish out, head snapping back, left, and right with the volley of jaw-breaking blows and bone-shattering kicks.

None of it gives the Talon pause. When a move makes him drop a blade, another is already in hand, cutting into their body suits, wings flipping out to defend or distract, sweeping moves and well coordinated attacks.

The unnatural appendages are like another arm, another leg, an extension working on the same central nervous system, regardless as to how the Court managed to make it happen.

A jump kick off a trash can is a lucky shot as a wing catches B in the ribs hard enough to knock him into the wall of Mike's Famous Hotdogs. The only thing saving the Dark Knight from a concussion or permanent brain damage is the plating in his cowl.

It gives the Talon enough time to make a final bid for a battered Nightwing, Red Hood, and Robin struggling to their feet again, eyes for their fallen mentor.

Before he can lunge forward to start the attack yet again, the Talon just stops, pauses like he’s stuck or something, and in the span of a breath, both wings extend fully, flap powerfully once to propel him up into the Gotham night.

O tries her best to track his flight through the city, but no one’s arms are working well enough to toss a tracker on him.

She loses him over Cape Carmine, slams her palms against her system in frustration, makes sure she gets as much footage from the confrontation as possible.

After some sleep and a whole lot of bandages and ice packs, the Bat family meets in the Cave to watch the footage, breakdown the Talon’s fighting style, his weaponry, and make theories on his identity.

O helps out with readings she has of electronic pulses she managed to capture coming from the armor over his wings. She thinks she might be able to use it to track him if they can get close enough for her equipment to ping the signal again.

B makes a trip to Arkham since Freeze apparently hasn’t stopped producing the formula used to put Talons in cryostasis.

It’s not until Gotham’s power grid has a massive surge that O and the Bats can pinpoint a possible location, all of them invested in one hell of a fight to get the last rats still scurrying in the underground.

The plan of attack comes together smoothly once they’ve scoped out the location, seen the shady activity, and together, they make one hell of a plan.

**

And because, you know, Gotham, it is completely normal for the Court of Owl's headquarters to have a skylight.

Natch.

For this one, they've got Batgirl and Black Bat, Red Hood and Robin, Nightwing and B, a real family affair.

O's quiet voice over comms leading them through the maze of traps and empty rooms, abandoned libraries and spooky ball rooms. The laboratory isn't the most horrific they've all ever seen (because the Joker's summer place is literally the stuff of nightmares), but a few of them do gag on the smell alone.

The plan, however, goes horribly awry when the clear sounds of tormented screaming echoes from right under their reinforced bootheels.

Black Bat's fists clench hard, her breathing wheezes out when the tone, the utter agony goes right through her.

A shudder slides up Robin's spine as all of them turn toward the noise.

Without a flicker or a word, the Batman moves, strafing in the shadows toward the sound. He can't assume it's an innocent civilian with something the Court wants, but he's betting on the fact that scream will lead them to whoever is running the show.

The medieval room has bars and reinforced locks, implements hanging on the wall. The cement brick is stained rust colored with old blood, the vestiges of training, and the awful realization they've found another hidden niche in the city that always existed right under their noses is punctuated with the abrupt drop in temperature, with the sudden charge in the air, with the zzzzcrack snapping beyond the door, replaced with a muted buzzing Robin can feel in his back teeth.

B is already on his way to the roof, Batgirl down through the floor vent while Nightwing picks the locks with fast precision, knocking the tumblers around.

Robin and Red Hood stay close to the reinforced door, balancing on the balls of their feet, katana and .45s at the ready.

Black Bat takes the high road, ceiling tiles giving way under her Bat-a-rang. She gives a sharp nod before she's up and gone.

"All right. Ready?" Nightwing stands, cracks his neck, flips his escrimas in both hands, works his shoulders to prepare for the strain of each blow he plans to give.

"Ya betcha ass," Hood murmurs low, a cut figure with both guns at his sides, gloved fingers on the trigger guard.

"Don't disappoint," Robin snarls, "either of you."

"Nice pep talk, squirt," Nightwing snickers.

"Tt, back up your mouth with action."

"Better shuddap, Demon. Golden Boy ain't fuckin' 'round. Neither is the Bat. We get one more chance a' this asshole. We ain't gonna blow it again, ya feel me?"

"Finally, something we agree on, Hood."

"Other than N's shitty mullet?"

Nightwing swiftly glares at them both over his shoulder, unconsciously putting himself front and center of the trio, ready to be the first in once they get the signal.

– which is the sound of the glass raining down from the heavens.

Three booted feet kick the door hard enough to take it off the hinges, lying against the faded stains like a fallen body.

First step in the room is the complete opposite to what they'd all been expecting.

The two Owl masks aren't the usual, but a perversion of the originals, crudely drawn yawning mouths complete with fangs dripping blood.

But.

The boy on his knees, arms in a binder holding the appendages hostage at a painful angle, is dripping the real thing. Rivulets down his chest and where his back is partially visible. Some from the base of the wings going into the back of his shoulder blades where the skin is torn and raw.

The bar gag shoved in his mouth doesn't take away from the splatters on his chin, the bruising on his face, the swollen eye. But it's his wings that makes the Bats falter from the initial rushing attack.

His wings are without the armor, are bound straight up above his restrained body with hooks grotesquely puncturing through the downy softness, desecrating the beauty with blood and gore. The angle makes the pull to his back where the wings are part of him just another agony on top of atrocity.

"Fuck," from the first Owl mask, and a swift move frees the Talon's bound arms, the appendages flopping uselessly to the floor, only his trapped, tortured wings keeping him up on his knees.

The second Owl shoves the first back, "let him take care of them. Let's get out of here!"

The first Owl snarls out something low and foreign, the phrases rolling off his tongue.

The words lock into place, and the Talon's head snaps up, snarling around the gag in his mouth.

When his face is finally, finally visible, the protectors of Gotham are frozen in their tracks.

Familiar violet-blue eyes, too-long blue-black hair, cut jawline and pointed nose. Tiny scar on his right cheek from the time he caught Ra's al Ghul's ring across the face.

"Jesus Fucking Christ," is barely heard through the Red Hood's synths and in no way fully expresses his utter horror at what these dirty motherfuckers have done.

Robin wretches, bile burning the back of his throat once those eyes swing up to the masked parody of the Owls and his bare upper body is visible through the blood and sweat on his chest, when the scars peeking through on his collar bones form a half-visible Y-incision, when the coloring of the bared wings now makes sense (robin's wings, Damian Wayne thinks with his heart beating pitter patter fast, and his stomach in knots, they put robin's wings on him...).

And the hurt, agonized noise coming out of Nightwing's chest is the only noise he can make when those dimmed, dazed eyes swing from the Owls back to the vigilantes frozen in their spots, when there's no spark of joy or fondness or stubbornness he's so used to seeing staring him down.

The errant thought, the first instinct, is the only humane way to deal with this new Talon is to put him down for good wars with the man behind the mask that only wants to reach out, wants to pull the Talon into his body and curve over, to scream at the injustice of it all, to rail at himself for not even suspecting.

Another switch flipped and the hooks release his wings, blood splattering on top the old stains.

"Get them! Don't fuck it up this time or you won't get another chance," the second Owl shoves the Talon's injured shoulder in the direction of the horrified vigilantes.

They don't even bother to take the gag out of his mouth before setting him on his target.

A flap of wings, and the Talon is on his feet again, swaying only slightly. He's in the boots and pants from earlier, the rest of his uniform tossed carelessly behind him by his tormentors. A sweep of his feet and the knives glint in bare palms, a whisper of a sound.

The curved, clawed blade glints in the overhead light when the Talon raises it and cuts the strap of the bar gag in his bloody mouth, turns his head to spit it out without looking away from the vigilantes.

The Batman, grim and stoic in the face of this surprising turn of events, gives the barest nod. From her hiding spot behind the complex machinery, Black Bat takes off after the running Owl members, leaving the rest of the family to deal with their former third Robin.

The wings flinchingly flare out and their former bird hunches over, ready for the attack.

“Wait! Wait, wait, wait,” the Red Hood removes the helmet, leaves the domino underneath. He keeps one hand out in peace, slowly dipping down to put his helmet on the ground. “Is us, Tim. Timmy. Baby Bird. Is us. Yer family. Gotta lookit us, yeah?”

For the first time, the Talon speaks, “who’s Tim?”

And then he lunges.

**

The fight happens very differently this time.

The former power behind the punches is obviously dulled with the Talon’s identity reveal. He doesn’t hold back, is utterly ruthless with his attacks. He takes out B’s right knee, puts Hood down on the stained floor, knocks Robin into the wall with crushing force, and slams Batgirl’s head off the operating table.

He stands over Nightwing, wicked blade in hand and robin’s wings spread wide. He takes a knee, the sharp edge right above N’s adam’s apple, staring down impassively into the whiteouts.

“Timmy,” N spits blood, grunting when one knee pins his arm down. “Timmy, please. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I love you and I’m sorry they did this to you.”

Those eyes don’t change in the slightest. “You should not have tried to oppose the Owls.”

“We beat them once,” Nightwing gasps, “and you helped us, Baby Bird. You were with us then, don’t you remember.”

“I was nothing before the Court perfected me,” the Talon replies emotionlessly.

“You were perfect before they ever touched you.”

“No,” and the Talon leans down, puts them a breath away. “The only thing you and those others do is put the criminals back in prison, back in Arkham for them to escape again, for them to kill and destroy over and over again. Like this, I can stop them permanently.”

“Oh Timmy,” and behind the whiteouts, Nightwing’s eyes spill over, his vision wavery. “Timmy–”

“Don’t call me that. Stop calling me that.”

“You know me, you know us. You have to remember–”

“Lies. All of it lies!”

Nightwing’s chest stutters, his fist clenching, “it’s not. None of it is. Not even this–”

And he’s fast enough to grab the back of the Talon’s neck, to lean up enough against the blade pressed against his throat, can bring their mouths together, can kiss him like he’s dying and the Talon is the only thing that can save him.

It’s sloppy and awkward because the Talon doesn’t know what’s happening, gasps against the vigilante’s mouth. The tongue sliding over his, the muffled moan in his mouth sparks something in the back of his brain where the Court of Owls could never touch.

When Nightwing pulls back, stares up at wide violet-blue eyes, when the blade falls away to clatter against the block, when the Talon’s mouth trembles and tears fill his eyes, when his wings flutter and falter, fold in on them both, when his voice goes hoarse with, “D-Dick?” Nightwing throws both arms around his waist and holds on.