#and so i sent one of my little anon messages now since someone i follow is Very Bad today. and they answered immediately and my message Did

[megalony]

Falling For Me

This is an Evan Buckley imagine, requested by Anon. I enjoyed writing this one, I hope you all like it. Feedback and requests are always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@noonenuts@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @topguncultleader @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989

911 Masterlist

Summary: When the team are called out to a mugging scene, they get more than they bargained for when they find (Y/n). Eddie's little sister. Evan's crush.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Is that your girl?"

Evan lifted his eyes from his phone and looked across at Hen who was wiggling her brows and curving her lips into a wide grin. She pursed her lips and tilted her head, pretending to blow kisses his way until Evan was smothering a smile and shaking his head. He looked down at his phone and quickly shoved it back in his pocket before any of them could lean over and see who he was messaging.

"Nope."

"Hm,"

"You holding out on us, Buck?" Eddie nudged Evan's shoulder as the truck started moving and they all got comfy in their seats.

"No, no one special in my life." He was speaking the truth. Mostly. Evan wasn't in a relationship, but that didn't mean he didn't have his eye on someone he thought of as special.

He just so happened to know Eddie's little sister rather well and he thought she was amazing. But she was Eddie's sister and that meant Evan had to tread very carefully. He couldn't try anything or push the bouondaries and ruin the friendship he had with both (Y/n) and Eddie if she didn't see him in that way.

And she hadn't technically messaged him right now either. He had sent her a message earlier but hadn't heard anything back. He just wanted to check his phone since their third call out of the day was now finished, but she hadn't gotten back to him yet.

"Yeah, sure so you-" Chimney cut himself off and looked around the truck as if a sign from God had just dawned upon them when a call came through the radio from dispatch.

"Dispatch to one-eighteen. We have a scene on the corner of Park Street, attempted mugging with two casualties. Please respond."

"One-eighteen, on our way."

A chorus of groans flooded the air of the truck as everyone grabbed their headsets and put them on as the siren started to blast out again. It looked like they were no longer heading back to the station to have dinner, they would be going on another call out. Evan's shift was now extending, he was planning to have lunch with the team and go home for a long power nap. Guess not anymore.

"Do you think we'll get to make an arrest?" Evan looked out the window as the truck made a sharp right turn and sent them all squishing into each other like sardines in a tin.

They had gone to a scene before when Hen was acting Captain and she got to make an arrest while they waited for the police to turn up and apprehend the man. If this was a mugging scene and the mugger was still there, maybe they would get to arrest him as well as patch him up and wait for assistance.

"I think the police will be on their way, Buck." Bobby leaned behind him to pat Evan's shoulder.

If they were being redirected it was because they were the closest scene and they would be able to provide medical assistance quicker than sending an ambulance out. And dispatch would have to notify the police about an attack so chances were a police car would be on their way to the scene as well.

"Eddie, Hen, get a med bag each. Let's see what we've got."

Everyone climbed down from the truck and went to grab their gear and Evan followed after Bobby, trailing away from the truck to see what was going on. They could hear shouting from the moment they climbed down from the truck and there seemed to be a gathering of people hanging around.

"LAFD, make room. Can someone tell me what's happened here?" Bobby rose his voice to the crowd of five or six people gathering in a huddle near an alley. He glanced his eyes around everyone to try and see what had happened, he couldn't work out where the casualties were and dispatch said two people had been injured and needed help.

"That bitch stabbed me-"

"He attacked that girl and she stopped him getting away."

A sigh passed through Bobby's lips as he planted his hands on his hips and looked at the man who was laid on the floor. He was cradling his left thigh where a puddle of blood was trailing down his leg and dripping onto the pavement beneath him. He had a frantic look in his eyes, black gloves on his hands matching his hoodie and jeans and he had a cloth around his neck that Bobby guessed someone had pulled down to see his face.

Bobby made his way to kneel beside the attacker and silently pointed at Evan to go see where the other casualty was.

Evan had his words all formed in his head. 'Miss, it's the LAFD. Can I check you over? Are you hurt?' But he didn't get to say any of them when he moved towards the alley and caught sight of the girl in question. She was curled up on the floor, leaning against the wall at the very edge of the alley. Her body was slumped to the left, knees curled awkwardly beneath her and her arms were coiled tightly to her chest as she slowly rocked herself back and forth.

Tears drenched her face and sobs and bubbling gasps broke free from her trembling lips. But when Evan caught sight of her face, his blood ran cold and he couldn't breathe.

Oh God no.

"(Y/n)? (Y/n) it's me, it's Evan." He dropped down to his knees in front of her and held his hands out in front of him to show her he wasn't going to hurt her. He was safe. He wanted to help. "Can I-"

"Evan!" His name croaked past her lips like he was some sort of miracle or epiphany that (Y/n) had wished for.

Her trembling body pushed forward onto her knees and she thrust herself into Evan's chest before he could ask if he could help her. His arms froze in mid-air before he snapped himself back into action and slowly coiled his large frame around her like a safety blanket.

He gently smoothed his hand up and down her back, tensing when he felt her hands slip beneath his florescent jacket and her nails scratched into his shirt like sharp metal nails. Someone had tried to attack her. Someone had hurt her, here, in broad daylight. Someone had attacked Eddie's little sister, the girl Evan was sweet on.

"Buck, what we got?" Eddie slung the medic bag on his shoulder and trudged over to Evan while Chimney and Hen went to sort out the man Bobby was trying to calm down. He could hear the man shouting and cursing from over here and it made Eddie cringe. It didn't take much to guess that the man was the mugger. Sometimes Eddie didn't like the fact that they also had to look after the people comitting crimes as well as the victims.

He dropped the bag to the floor but when he knelt down beside Evan, Eddie's blood ran cold and he tensed. His jaw locked in place and his chocolate brown eyes glazed over like black holes when he looked at the girl curled up in Evan's arms.

"(Y/n)," Her name fell from his lips in a quiet whisper and he realised he was shaking. His hands were gripping the medic bag, curled around the leather until he was leaving markings in the bag. And Eddie could feel Evan nervously fidgeting beside him, unsure how anyone was going to react.

"Eddie!" (Y/n) could barely see her brother due to the tears streaming down her face and she hiccupped through her breaths.

Her arms uncurled from Evan and she started to sob harder when Eddie almost ripped her out of Evan's arms and into his own embrace.

"No, no what's happened? What the fuck did he do to you?!" Eddie brushed his hand along the back of her neck but when he leaned down to kiss the top of her head, he pulled back quickly. (Y/n) cried out into his chest, flinching down and croaking when he touched the top of her head.

His hands moved to gently cup her face and he tilted her head down so he could assess the top of her head.

Blood was smeared into her hair and trickling down the side of her face near her ear. But what made Eddie frown and caused Evan to lean over for a better look was the tiny shards of green glass they could see meshed in with her curls.

"(Y/n), what happened?" Eddie smoothed his thumb across her tear-stained cheek while his eyes raked over her for any further injuries.

When Eddie gently let her go so he could rummage around in the medic bag, (Y/n) turned to look at Evan in surprise when he shrugged off his florescent jacket and draped it around her shoulders. The action made her chest ignite for different reasons and calmed down her raging, hiccupping breaths.

Without thinking, (Y/n) leaned to the side and tucked herself back into Evan's chest as if that was where she belonged and he didn't object. He swooped his right arm around her waist while his left hand ran up and down her trembling arm to try and keep her calm.

"He… he grabbed me from behind and d-dragged me in the alley. When I wouldn't give him my bag he pushed me down… I- I did what you said,"

Her words caused Eddie to pause and look up at her in panic. What had he told her do to? What advice did he give her as a big brother? Eddie had told all three of his sisters a lot of advice over the years. He was the eldest out of them all and when their dad worked away, Eddie had to help look after them. (Y/n) was the youngest out of them all and Eddie was the closest to her which was why she had moved down to LA with him and Chris.

He had tried to give her a lot of self defense advice and teach her what to do and what not to do in certain situations.

"I had my keys on me so… so I stabbed him, I didn't want him getting away,"

"Bobby, the weapon used on him," Evan gently took (Y/n)'s keychain from her and held it out to Bobby who was stood in the middle, observing the scene as a police car rolled up. The captain nodded and placed the keys in a plastic bag.

(Y/n) remembered Eddie telling her she could use anything as a weapon if she needed to protect herself and keys were a great weapon. They were small to hide in the palm of her hand and they were metal and had jagged edges, perfect to cause a little damage and harm someone enough to make them stop.

She needed the man to get off her and he was thrashing around pinning her down, she didn't know what else to do. (Y/n) found her keys from her pocket and thrust her house key into the man's left thigh. She didn't know where her power came from and she almost threw up when she watched and felt the metal cut through his flesh.

But it stopped him from getting away. She wasn't letting him leave after attacking her.

"What did he do to your head, sweetheart?" The pet name fell past Evan's lips before he could stop himself but he was glad Eddie didn't seem to notice.

"He was screaming at me, before I could move he grabbed a bottle and h-hit me, I-" She broke off, another round of trembling tore through her body as she started to cry.

"He smashed a bottle over your head?!" Eddie tilted his head to look over at the man currently getting an IV in his arm and his trouser leg cut so they could see the extent of his leg wound. "Wait 'til he meets me, I'll shove it up his-" He broke off when he felt Evan jerk his shoulder. (Y/n) was starting to hyperventilate and Eddie going into protective mode wasn't going to help if he was going to start a fight.

"Shh, hey it's alright. You did great," Evan gently unravelled his arm from around her waist and his smile faltered when (Y/n) desperately grabbed at his arm as if she thought he was about to leave. "I'm gonna give you an IV, get rid of the shock."

Evan thought for a moment as he held (Y/n)'s hand that was digging so tightly into his exposed arm that she was starting to draw blood. She was clearly in a big state of shock if she was afraid letting go of him was going to somehow get her hurt.

"Here, hold tight." He gently prized her fingers from his arm and moved her hand to his thigh as he shuffled closer until their knees were touching. She could squeeze, scratch and grip his leg as much as she wanted and he didn't care if she punctured through his trousers into his flesh. As long as she stayed calm.

He looked through the bag and found an IV bag and a needle and he swabbed the crease of (Y/n)'s elbow before gently pushing the needle into her vein. She was in so much shock she barely flinched at the feeling.

Eddie's chest rose and fell rapidly as he tried to stay calm but he couldn't. Someone had chosen to make his sister a victim, tried to hurt her and then whacked her over the head with a bottle that had smashed and cut through her skin. She was lucky she didn't have any mass bleeding and that the glass hadn't reached her skull. He could have given her swelling or cranial damage.

He slid a blood pressure cuff up (Y/n)'s left arm and checked her BP which was rather elevated but her pulse was good.

"Eddie, how is she?" Bobby moved to stand near the, unsure what was happening over here when both members of his team seemed to know this victim. And he didn't like the dark look in Eddie's eyes when he turned to face him.

"That cunt smashed a bottle over my sister's head."

"Ah. This is (Y/n). Can we get her transported? Athena's going to take him down to the hospital in custody before he goes to the station."

"I want to take some of the glass from her head first before we transport. Are you hurt anywhere else?" Eddie wasn't moving her until he had removed as much glass from her wound as he could so there was less for the doctors to do once they took her to hospital.

Whimpering, (Y/n) leaned forward and silently indicated to her back. Her fingers dug into Evan's thigh and her head pressed onto Eddie's shoulder while Evan moved closer. He hummed quietly and moved his jacket back so he could gently lift (Y/n)'s shirt and look to see where she had been hurt.

"Skin's flush and warm, might have a bit of internal bleeding. Let's get the glass out and move her." Evan traced his fingertips over (Y/n)'s left hip, near to where her kidney would be. Her skin was discoloured and very warm, she could have internal bleeding but it didn't look too worrying. She could have a scan once they got to the hospital.

"Okay, this might hurt, try and stay still for me."

Evan's brows rose in surprise when (Y/n)'s hand let go of his thigh so she could clutch onto his hand instead. She reeled his hand into her chest and leaned against his bicep while her head tilted forward so Eddie could look at her head.

Every time her body shuddered and jolted, Evan squeezed her hand and rested his other hand on her knee to try and keep her calm. His lips curled in distaste when Eddie slowly started to pluck shards of glass from her hair with a pair of tweezers. He heard Eddie whisper 'don't move' but as soon as he relieved a large shard, blood trickled down (Y/n)'s forehead and she gurgled through a scream. Her body tremored against Evan and she jolted when Eddie poured a little saline over the wound to clean it and see if there were any more pieces he could remove.

They both counted ten various sized shards of glass that Eddie placed onto a cloth on his knee.

"Let's get you to hospital," Eddie dropped a little more saline onto the three various cuts on his sister's temple before he pressed a patch of gauze over them to try and stop the blood loss and hopefully soak up any smaller shards he hadn't managed to get.

"Up we go,"

The pair held one of (Y/n)'s arms each and slowly eased her up between them, gripping her hands tightly as she started to tremble again.

Adrenaline coursed through (Y/n)'s veins and she could feel her stomach churning and jolting when she was upright. Her feet could barely pick up from the floor, she dragged her feet, scraping them against the pavement as he knees bent and she let the boys guide her towards the truck. Practically dragging her between them.

(Y/n) groaned and suddenly doubled over, snapping her eyes closed as she leaned forward and threw up onto the floor. She felt like she needed to be sick again and get rid of whatever was still in her stomach but all she could do was cough and gasp for each breath as another round of tears started to fall.

Leaning down, Eddie looped his sister's arm around the back of his neck and gripped her waist tightly with his left arm so he could take her weight for her. He let Chimney and Hen climb into the truck first as the mugger was patched up and already in Athena's squad car.

Buck clambered up next and turned round to reach down for (Y/n). He gently but firmly gripped her forearms and hoisted her up the steps as Eddie held her waist and eased her up between them.

"Alright… let's put these on so you don't go deaf, hm?"

A small smile tugged at (Y/n)'s lips when Evan eased her down into a chair and crouched between her thighs like he belonged there. He strapped her in and grabbed a headset, trying to get them over her ears without touching the top of her head. He slipped the band over the back of her head so it was nowhere near the cuts in the centre of her head and squished himself into the seat between (Y/n) and the window as Eddie sat on her left.

They didn't have the ambulance with them on this call out so it was a relief (Y/n) didn't have any nerve damage and that she could walk so they didn't have to radio for an extra ambulance. They could just take her to the hospital in the truck.

"Is this your sister?" Hen looked between (Y/n) and Eddie, already noticing the resemblance and the way Eddie gripped her thigh showed he cared deeply for her. But he couldn't find it in himself to smile when he nodded silently to her question. He didn't want them all to meet like this.

"Chris… I- I have to pick him up," (Y/n) slumped her head back onto Evan's shoulder so she could look up at Eddie.

She was supposed to collect Chris from school since Eddie was on shift today. She couldn't wait around in the emergency room to get checked out when she had to pick her nephew up. There wasn't enough time to find someone else to go and get him.

"I'll get him, don't think I'm leaving you alone like this."

"I could, you know, I could go get him. My shift's technically over, I can take (Y/n) home and get Chris later, you're still on shift." Evan ran his hands up and down his thighs as he looked between (Y/n) and Eddie, smiling at her head resting comfortably on his shoulder.

He was done now, his shift ended after their last call. Instead of Eddie having to cancel his shift and both of them leaving the team short, Evan could look after them both for him. He would stay at the hospital with (Y/n) and take her home and collect Chris later. He loved spending time with both of them and (Y/n) shouldn't be alone right now.

"Are you sure? Is that alright?" Eddie looked from Evan down to his sister because he would stay with her if she asked him to. But her lips curved into a smile and she leaned further into Evan, nudging her nose against his neck while she closed her eyes.

She wanted to go to sleep. She didn't mind who stayed with her as long as she wasn't left alone at the hospital.

"We'll drop you both off here then Buck. Call when you need a lift back," Bobby turned to look in the back of the truck, nodding at them both. This was where they would part ways, at the paramedic entrance to the hospital. They could easily come and pick them up when they were ready since Evan was still in his uniform and his jeep was back at the station.

"Will do."

Eddie kissed his sister's temple, muttering a quiet 'love you' into her skin as his palm pressed into her lower back to help her get up.

Evan jumped down from the truck, leaving his helmet in the back along with his gloves while his jacket was still wrapped around (Y/n). He held his hands up towards her with a dopey grin that made (Y/n) really want to smile, if it weren't for the lightheaded feeling that overtook her.

She could barely feel her feet that skidded against the steps causing the team to gasp as Eddie bolted forward and Hen reached out to grab her arm. But they didn't have to worry when Evan jumped forward and grabbed her before she fell down.

An arm secured around her waist with his palm splayed out on her back and his other arm looped around her thighs just beneath her bum. Evan cocked a grin as he pulled back with (Y/n) in his arms.

"I gotcha." Evan lowered her down a little in his arms but kept hold of her and kept her feet from the floor. Walking in was going to prove long and stressful whereas Evan could just carry her inside to make things easier. "Let's go, sweetheart." He stepped back onto the curb, nodding at the team that he had her safe and sound and he bit back a smile when he felt (Y/n)'s arms loop around his neck and her face tucked into the crook of his neck.

"Thank you,"

***

(Y/n) smiled gratefully at the nurse and took the small white bag of antibiotics from her which she stuffed into her bag.

Two hours. It had taken two hours to get all the glass removed from her head, have one of the cuts glued shut from how deep it was, take a dose of morphine. And then go up for a scan to make sure she had no internal bleeding.

(Y/n) was ready to go home and she was thankful it had timed perfectly for her and Evan to go and collect Chris. Evan didn't have to leave her alone at the hospital to get Chris and then come back for her. He had stayed by her side like a bodyguard. Arms crossed over his chest and a stoic, protective look on his face.

He let (Y/n) dig her nails into his arm that she had already scratched earlier and he had kissed her temple when all the glass was removed.

"You're free to go."

"Thank you," (Y/n) nodded briefly at the nurse before she rummaged around in her bag. "Bobby still has my keys." Evan had given them to Bobby to show what she had attacked her assailant with. The keychain held her house keys and Eddie's keys for when she collected Chris while he was at work.

"I'll get them for you when we get back to the station, hopefully they will be cleaned up." It wouldn't be great to have her keys still caked in blood. Evan doubted that Athena would take the keys into evidence or take them to the hospital. The mugger had been patched up by the team, he only went to the hospital for any shots he might need and pain relief along with an all clear.

"I didn't wanna hurt him, I- I just-"

"Hey, he attacked you. He could have given you a bleed on the brain, you had every right to stab the bastard. Does it still hurt?"

Evan looked down at her head which looked pretty nasty from his height advantage point. She had a cut down the middle of her head that broke through her hairline into her forehead but it was more superficial than painful. The one that had been glued was now swelling up and would be bruised and tender in a few hours. (Y/n) wouldn't be able to wash her hair or touch her head for a week and she would be living with constant headaches for a while.

"A little, I feel… woozy." (Y/n) managed a smile as she gripped the edge of the bed she was sat on and pushed up to her feet.

The morphine took away most of the pain and sickness but now she felt drugged, wobbly and like her head weighed more than the rest of her body.

Her lips parted in a gasp when her feet bent awkwardly beneath her and her knees pushed forward into Evan's thighs. His hands reached out to grab her waist and he reeled her into his chest with ease, tilting his chin down so he could look at her through the height difference.

A smile wormed onto his face and his eyes creased at the corners as he smiled down at her with that dopey yet cocky grin that made (Y/n)'s stomach flutter.

"You keep falling for me today, huh?" His thumbs brushed up and down her exposed hips and his head tilted to the side as he stared at her wishfully.

"Seems so,"

(Y/n) kept her eyes level with his chest while she slowly dragged her fingertips up his biceps and along his shoulders until her thumbs could brush against his neck. She finally dared to lift her head up enough to meet his gaze that was piercing through her like there was a question burning in his mind that he was desperate to know the answer to.

"I guess I'd better get used to catching you then,"

The feeling of Evan's lips on hers made (Y/n) shiver and when she pushed up on her toes and swiped her thumb across his jaw, she felt his hands tighten around her hips. He pulled her chest flush against his and leaned down to catch her at a better angle.

His teeth bit her lower lip while his hand trailed up her side, gliding his fingertips across her skin to make her flush and squirm against him. He cupped her chin between his finger and thumb, nuzzling his nose into hers when they parted. (Y/n) could feel each breath he gasped against her lips and the moment she looked up into those ocean blue eyes, she felt her knees giving way.

If this was falling, (Y/n) never wanted to land.

[queermania]

I don't want to start drama and I don't expect you to respond to this but I think you deserve to know what's being said about you. tumblr. com/transfagbenny/738678589192552448/and-id-appreciate-if-we-stopped-using-the-terms

i actually am going to address this because this person has been lying about what's been going on for months and they've apparently been harassing other people for months if not years, so. it's time to put an end to this.

before i start though i want to make it abundantly clear that if you take this as an opportunity to do anything other than block this person, then you are trash. do not send him messages. do not tag him in things. do not harass him in any way. leave him alone. if you need to block, do so and then move on. hate mail and harassment is disgusting behavior and i don't want to be surrounded by anybody who engages in it. and if you do it on my behalf, i think you are worthless and i want nothing to do with you.

so, this is what happened: back in february of 2023, an anon asked me if i had any opinions that would get me canceled with the dean girlies. i replied, "oh now we’re talking!! hmmmm let’s see. i don’t care about benny at all. deanbenny does nothing for me. deanbenny is dust. it is dust. drowley rights forever" and i did not tag it because i'm not an asshole. bear then sent me a message that at the time i thought was funny/cute because his url reflected that he was obviously a huge benny fan. we had a very cordial exchange. everything was good. we chatted a little bit about how neat it would've been if benny had been played by a black actor and how the racism problem with gordon would've been fixed if gordon had been played by a white actor. not all of our conversation is visible anymore (and i also don't think all of it was on this post anyway) because i've since blocked him so his replies no longer show up on my posts. the point is: everything was fine. it was a good tumblr exchange. he continued to follow me. i did not follow him then or at any point.

the problem is that he kept coming onto my posts and into my inbox to try to make things about benny. that is not okay. i had already said that benny was a character (and deanbenny a ship) that i was not interested in. to me, this is an obvious boundary i've established that he repeatedly crossed. it's not an egregious violation, obviously. more than anything it's annoying. what he should've done, if benny was that important to him, was unfollow me and move on. but he didn't and i indulged him for awhile but at a certain point i thought, "okay maybe if i stop indulging him, he'll take the hint." so i stopped responding. he did not take the hint. he got worse and he even started commenting on things that he couldn't make about benny, just to willfully misinterpret things i said and taking them completely out of context. unfortunately, i don't have receipts for any of this because at the time i didn't know it was going to become an actual problem (however I have since learned that this is an established pattern of behavior he engages in, so you can probably find examples on other people's blogs).

it got so annoying, though, that i very carefully broached the subject in a private server with people i trusted. without naming any names or using any incriminating language (i.e. not specifically referencing benny), i basically said that there was someone being annoying about a specific character on my posts and i wasn't sure what to do about it. immediately, a handful of people replied with some variation of "the benny stan? he's been doing that to me too." i do have receipts of this (and an entire server to back me up) but i hope you can all understand why i'm not going to provide those or name names (or ask anyone to get involved publicly). the point is, it became apparent that i wasn't the only one and this was a pattern of behavior. i also learned during that conversation that bear has a history of harassing people and calling someone racist or a transphobe if they block him.

at that point, i decided not to rock the boat. i would just continue to ignore him and maybe he would get bored and move on. well that obviously didn't happen. he kept doing it and as a fun added bonus, he started to make vague posts about me. the thing is i don't actually care if he vagueblogs about me. it's his blog. he can do whatever he wants. it's none of my business. i mean i personally think he should've just unfollowed but, again, his blog, his choice. it is annoying that every single time he would do it, someone would send me a link or a screenshot of him doing it, but that's not really his fault. so, again, i just ignored it.

this is where we get to the incident in question. after a private discussion among a small group of friends, i posted this obviously joke poll at the insistence of @letterstothedevil, a tumblr user who has given me permission to include her in this.

the original message about the poll:

the permission:

now EYE think it's abundantly clear that the poll was a joke amongst friends, but maybe it wasn't, and i'm not going to fault anyone for not magically knowing that. i am, however, totally willing to fault someone for being a gigantic asshole. bear commented on the post and i, admittedly, gave a somewhat dismissive response because at that point i was so tired of him being willfully obtuse and twisting every little thing i said that i just didn't want to bother. he then went and made a series of not-at-all-vague posts calling me racist and claiming that i simply do not care about the racism in the show and it's obvious because i've never ever discussed it on my blog (which is a hilarious lie given that i'd specifically discussed it on my blog with him). at that point, there was no reason not to block him. he was already doing the thing that i didn't want to deal with. so i did. and i thought that would be the end of it.

again, i was wrong.

i then started to get anon messages daily about benny and deanbenny and how i'm racist for not liking benny, etc. this was harassment that EYE was on the receiving end of. nobody else was a victim of the messages i was being sent. they were sent to me and it is not my job to make sure other people are protected from the harassment that i am experiencing. i'm pointing this out for two reasons: 1. because i did try to protect bear from it for awhile anyway. i knew that people would assume it was him and at the time i was still giving him the benefit of the doubt, if for no other reason than the fact that i didn't think he could send me messages since i blocked him. and 2. because when i did finally start to respond to some of the messages, bear acted like he was somehow the victim in all of this (and continues to act that way to this day).

i don't know if bear had (or currently has) anything to do with any of the messages i get (which, thankfully, have slowed considerably). what i do know is that at no point during any of this happening did he stop looking at my blog and vagueblogging about me.

when i finally did answer a few of the messages, bear had a bit of a meltdown about it. i know this because he used a separate account that i hadn't know existed to message me and because he talked to one of my friends about it. (i'm not going to name that person but if they want to get involved publicly of their own accord, that's up to them lol). i'm also not going to share screenshots of what bear said to me because he explicitly asked me not to (it's also the reason i'm not sharing screenshots of the numerous receipts i have of the things he's said and lied about on his blog but, unless he's deleted any of them, you can go and find the posts yourselves.) what i am going to share is that in the message he sent to me, he flat out lied about his behavior. he told me he hadn't been vague-blogging about me, that he would never ever do that about anyone, and that he would certainly never harass someone (all things that i have receipts of him doing).

it took me awhile to respond to this message because i was still trying to be gracious about the whole situation. i recognize that he is much younger than i am and i think it's important for me, as a full blown adult, to take that into account. i had a private discussion with a few trusted friends about how to handle this because it was important to me to not let him off the hook for his behavior and for lying just because he's young. this is what i ended up saying:

his response was to double-down on his lies (while, hilariously, vague-blogging about me and the whole thing) and then go into victim mode about something so completely unrelated and far-fetched that i decided i simply wanted nothing to do with him ever. (this is when he asked me not to share screenshots, so i won't, but this is me saying that i have ALL of the receipts, bear, so if you continue to lie, you will not like what happens.) i blocked his alternate account and tried to ignore him.

the harassment continued. again, i have no idea if he was actually part of it. the vagueblogging continued. he started to do it to other people he associated with me. many of them blocked him because of his behavior. i continued to answer some of the hate i received, continued to ignore and/or block most of it. it got so bad that i was sent seizure bait on more than one occasion, one time bad enough that i actually ended up going to the ER. there are receipts of all of this, too. you can see on my blog the messages i've been sent. i think at one point i even shared a snapshot of what my inbox looked like. i've shared privately with friends (who can confirm if they want to, but no pressure) screenshots of the kinds of messages i get that i don't respond to. the point is, that for a period of months, i was relentlessly harassed. and at no point during this time did i say anything to or about bear (or anyone else). the most i've done is respond to messages that have been sent to me. i've largely sat quietly while this thing happened to me and bear continued to make posts about me and act like he is somehow a victim in this. he's assumed things about me and my identity. he's violated boundaries i've set. he will not let this go. and i'm not the only one he's doing it to.

i'm so fucking tired of it. leave me alone. leave my blog alone. leave my friends alone. leave any and all of the people who have blocked you for your own inappropriate and obnoxious behavior alone. that's it. that's the end. none of this would be happening if you would just respect other people's boundaries. i don't want you on my blog. i do not want to interact with you. i don't want anything to do with you. that's it. the end.

[jynxpsiche]

Not Tangerine already planning on fathering reader's baby as his won, cause hey, the baby also has blue eyes so he can totally pass of as their son.

Also imagine if the real dad ever shows up and tries come back into the baby's life and Tangerine is all conflicted cause he loves the kid as if it's his own son :/

OH MY GOD THANK U SO MUCH ANON FOR REQUESTING THIS! LITERALLY CHEF KISS! We love a jealous Tangerine <3

Unwanted texts

💌. Summary: unanswered texts from her, lead Tangerine to meet someone he already despised…

or

…Tangerine meets the baby’s biological father for the first time.

💌. Warning: SWEARING. LIKE A LOT! Jealous Tangerine, female reader, canon gore. English is not my first language! I don’t know many British slangs!

X

c’mon babe

I just wanna meet the baby

be there for them, y’know?

pls answer me

It’s been already a couple of days and sometimes, during different hours of the day and night, your phone would ding with notifications…from him.

Your ex boyfriend.

The biological father of your precious baby.

The whole situation pissed you off. Firstly, when he found out about your pregnancy, he decided to leave without an explanation and leave you alone. Then he had the nerve to message you after god knows how many years.

It was ridiculous. He was ridiculous.

But obviously you couldn’t ask for any type of help from Tangerine.

He was quite the protective type, especially if the main cause was a shitty ex-boyfriend.

Surely he would have gone feral if he found out about your ex’s sudden texts. That’s why you decided to keep the thing for yourself and just…ghost him.

But who would have known that you would end up calming down a rather irate Tangerine?

However, it’s important to start from the beginning.

It was a day off for Tan, which meant that he would have spent the entire day with you and his little one. But since it was still too early to get up, for now he simply drank in your warmth and cuddled your body closer to his, without waking you up.

The curly man was affectionate only with his girl and his baby, neither to his brother he showed this side of his. He wasn’t ashamed of it, he just had a reputation to defend.

His chin was placed on your head while you were all nuzzled in the crook of his neck. His strong and bulky arms were tightly wrapped around your waist, not allowing you to leave. Not that you wanted to.

Only your soft breaths echoed through the room. But the peaceful atmosphere was interrupted by the ping of a notification. The sound made him grimace, but not waking up from his slumber.

Then another ping, closely followed by another and another one.

Now Tangerine was fully awake, his half-closed eyes glaring at the device on your nightstand. When he noticed no more ding’s came from your phone, he softly pecked your forehead before trying to fall asleep again.

But then again. A new message.

Groaning softly, Tan lifted himself from the bed, before pecking your forehead again and assured that you didn’t wake up.

He was not standing on your side of the bed, the device on your nightstand calling for him to check what had interrupted his sleep.

With a furrowed and irritated expression, Tangerine unlocked your phone, noticing new messages unopened. They had been sent just a couple of minutes ago.

He quickly glanced at your sleeping figure, a strange feeling bubbling in his chest. His expression furrowed more when he saw the contact’s name. X.

Who the fuck was that?

But he surely was took by anger when he read the multiple messages he sent you.

He wasn’t only a dickhead, but he was also the biological father of his son.

His bloodshot eyes read every line and every word of every message he dared to sent you. His fingers gradually tightening their grip around the device.

The another ding. Another message.

X

I know ur reading the texts

ur online

u finally have the courage to read what I’ve been sending you

u stopped ghosting me huh?

God you’re such a bitch sometimes…

His vision darkened at the last text he sent, nostrils fuming with rage.

X

I want to see the kid

Meet me here

Xx xx xx, xx

“Tan? You good?” Your sleepy and raspy voice reached his ears and immediately he turned towards you, his furious expression never leaving his face.

You noticed, of course. Slowly you rose from your spot on the comfy bed and lazily dragged herself up to his tense figure, wrapping her delicate arms around his waist.

A soft kiss on his back.

“What is making you so tense?” You whispered against his skin, your hands gently rubbing his sides. Tan slightly crocked his head in your direction, his brows still furrowed. A sigh left his lips.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He instead asked with a low tone laced with rage. “Why did you hide it from me?” His tone showed how he strongly demanded an answer.

“I could have handle it. I simply didn’t answer his texts to show him how an insignificant being like him should be six feet under. To show him how he was a nobody to me anymore.” Your tone was flat, laced with venom, finally expressing all your suppressed rage.

His expression immediately softened at your words, his brows relaxing and the wrinkles on his forehead disappearing. The tails of his mouth slightly raised in an almost visible smile.

But you noticed it.

When he turned in your direction, his hands on your waist, his lips left a soft peck on your forehead. His face was calm and so close to yours.

“I’m goin’ to take care of him. Don’ worry.” He whispered, his soothing voice sending you in a sleepy mood. A light yawn left your mouth. He chuckled at your reaction.

“Now go to sleep love.”

After you fell into another peaceful but deep slumber, Tangerine got to work.

With Lem’s help (after calling him for twenty minuets straight, the poor man was sleeping) he managed to find the phone location and so the location of the fucker.

It was now 3:45 am and Tan was alone in a desert neighbourhood. Silence was his only company at the moment.

He stood still in front of an apartment complex, his eyes fixed on a specific window while the cigarette in his hand slowly burnt.

With a flick he tossed the small nicotine stick and put it out with a stomp of his foot. His lips were curled into an annoyed curl.

Silently, he climbed the fire escape with big steps and in a blink of an eye his shadow was printed in front of the covered window, blinds hiding the inside.

But a faint light from behind them immediately caught his attention, a sadistic grin creeping on his moustache.

His hand grabbed the gun from his pocket and he shot the window’s lock, allowing him to access to the apartment.

Frantic, disconnected noises echoed from inside. Tangerine knew the fucker heard him.

Only when he entered he was met with a younger, dull man, his face pale and his eyes wide from fear. “Who…who the fuck are you?!” He half shouted, his voice cracking a bit.

The man wanted to show his composure so bad, show him how collected and tough he was. But in reality, he was shitting in his pants.

With great strides, Tangerine approached the trembling man, his pistol clearly visible. “‘s not important, is it? Wha’ is important is why you fuckin’ harassing my love with your insipid messages.” He spat out in a hard tone, his rigid stare piercing the man’s soul.

The man’s eyes frantically wandered around, he is searching something to defend himself thought Tan. Quick pants from the man often broke the silence in the room.

He took a step back, his hands shaking uncontrollably. His body language was visibly betraying him. “Just…the fuck you want from me?!” He continued in a fake authoritative voice.

Tangerine held his face high, communicating how he was in control. Slowly his arm raised and he pointed the gun in the man’s forehead.

“I want you to delete her number, to forget about her and the baby and to never contact her again.” He stated with calm rage. His tone extremely sharp.

When the man was the pistol pointed at his head, his confident mask fell, his eyes filled with tears and his still standing posture crouched on himself. Shamelessly he nodded his head at every request, his voice dead in the back of his throat.

Suddenly, Tangerine shot the man in the leg and he stumbled back. A cry came out from his mouth.

“This’s your last warnin’.”

[daisyswift3]

Cardiac Arrest, CPR, and the Reticent Volcano 🌋🎁

So yesterday I made a very interesting discovery while watching the TTPD (track) lyric vid that led to me having several epiphanies at once. If you watch the vid, you'll notice that for the most part the lyrics are in all caps save for a few lines. Of these lines, one in particular, “like a tattooed Golden Retriever,” caught my attention bc it has 2 capital letters--G and R--that you wouldn't have been able to see if the line was in all caps like the ones just before it. What makes it more interesting is that golden retriever is not a proper noun like a name or title so it shouldn't be capitalized according to English grammar rules.

This led me to search for the TTPD album booklet scans to see if this was also capitalized in the booklet and to see what other words were capitalized. Then after looking at the booklet it hit me--CPR(G)!!! Charlie Puth Retriever Golden. Everyone agreed these lyrics sounded a little odd compared to the rest of her lyrics and the shout out to Charlie Puth seemed kind of random. But now it makes complete sense why she wrote those lyrics. She was trying to draw attention to the capital letters CPR(G) that are repeated throughout the album. In this post I explained that Taylor mentions CPR in So Long, London bc they're all related to each other, they're a family. C=Cassandra=Taylor; P=Peter=her 2nd kid; R=Robin=her 1st kid; G=Gold/Golden=Karlie. If you look at the TTPD tracklist, Cassandra, Peter, and Robin are in the same order as CPR.

Taylor wanted to acknowledge her family in some way on this album and so she represented them w these 4 letters which are likely a stand-in for the Swift-Kloss family crest since I don't believe that showed up on this album. This is the key to deciphering several of the anon messages and understanding why some things are lowercase while other things are capitalized. For example, all of the volcano 🌋anon messages and the last 2 messages from (PR)esent anon 🎁 are lowercase with the exception of the words "Gold" and "Goodbye." This connects these messages to TTPD (track). "Gold" is highlighted like "volcano" to indicate that Miss Gold Rush is going to be a part of the atomic bomb Taylor is getting ready to drop. And the "Goodbye" being capitalized indicates that Karlie is indeed the "neighbor" in this message and in Fortnight as well as "the woman who sits by the window" in Peter that turns out the light/lamp. She is the one who keeps a lit jack-o-lantern 🎃 on the front porch while awaiting Taylor's return home from exile. These things single-handedly prove that 🌋 and present 🎁 anon are indeed legit bc how would a troll have been able to predict these things when The Anthology tracks were surprise dropped at 2am and weren't revealed w the standard edition tracks on Feb 5, and why would a troll even bother w such subtle details?? Plus no lyrics had leaked yet at the time these messages were sent so the only logical answer is that they must've either been sent by Taylor or someone close to her.

Side note: When I first wrote that post analyzing the present 🎁 anon messages, I had thought that the song Robin, and maybe Peter as well, was the gift/present to us kaylors that present 🎁 anon told us to look out for since P's and R's are repeated in the messages. However, I have since figured out that actually the poetry book For now, she slumbers was likely the gift since present 🎁 anon's messages mention the title of the book "for now, she slumbers" and "reticent volcano" which is the author's name as an anagram (see this post). Plus the March 4 message directly quotes the first poem in For now, she slumbers called "Two" ✌️ (If you want to read all the poems in order see this post). I explain in this post that the reason why this poem is the first one in the book is bc it's the key to understanding all the ones that follow and to understanding TTPD. The 2 ✌️ is probably the most important motif in TTPD bc it symbolizes the 2 different versions of Taylor and 2 opposing narratives abt her life that exist. Taylor Swift the brand vs Taylor Swift the person; the boy-crazy maneater that only writes songs abt her ex-boyfriends vs the tortured closeted queer poet that is forced to hide her truth behind metaphors and red herrings. Going back to the CPR of it all, I still believe my initial analysis of the present 🎁 anon messages was correct for the most part since the "reticent volcano" is likely a tell-all memoir that will explain the whole messy story and how and why she kept her family (CPRG) a secret. The purpose of the 🎁 and 🌋 anon messages was to guide us to both the poetry book and to CPR(G) which both foreshadow what her memoir--that she's hinted at w The Manuscript and The Story of Us--is going to be abt.

Now continuing on w the theory, as I mentioned previously, we have Cassandra=Taylor, Peter=her 2nd kid, and Robin=her 1st kid. And if you look at the pg in the booklet w The Manuscript, you'll see that there is a capital G in "Good Samaritan" which completes the CPRG set and is also the only capital G that shows up in this song.

And to tie it all together, if you look at the summary poem/epilogue at the very end, Taylor mentions cardiac arrest. This happens when someone's heart suddenly stops functioning and can be reversed by CPR! "I stopped CPR after all it's no use, the spirit was gone we would never come to." And this connects to You're Losing Me (From the Vault) which is abt the fans not seeing the real her or paying attention to her repeated queer signaling -> "I can't find a pulse, my heart won't start anymore for you, 'cause you're losing me." Taylor has given up trying to get her fans to listen to her (CPR) and has accepted that she may lose a lot of them when she reveals everything (CPRG). She is warning them that they are abt to lose the Taylor that they know, the old Taylor, bc she is going to have to kill her public persona and brand in order to be reborn as the new version of herself and move onto the next chapter of her life.

And to add even more evidence to this theory, CPR is often performed on drowning victims, and where does drowning show up in TTPD? Oh it shows up in The Bolter which just so happens to be sandwiched in between Cassandra, Peter, and Robin! -> "By all accounts, she almost drowned when she was 6 in frigid water...And she liked the way it tastes, taming a bear, making him care, watching him jump then pulling him under...as she was leaving, it felt like breathing/freedom" // "When I was drowning that's when I could finally breathe." Drowning also shows up in Guilty as Sin which I've determined probably represents the acceptance stage of grief so the drowning metaphor checks out (see this post) -> "Drowning in the Blue Nile, he sent me 'Downtown Lights.'" (Also check out this amazing video which explains the Blue Nile and religious connections). This connects to the 8th 🎃 message where Taylor chooses to jump into shark infested waters and sacrifice her image and brand so that her lover doesn't have to. So putting all these pieces together, this means that by giving up on trying to revive her relationship w her fans or to maintain her image (CPR) and by putting her family and her happiness first (CPRG), Taylor will finally be able to be truly free. She is going to let Taylor Swift the brand drown so that she can finally breathe. This connects to The Black Dog where she compares the red herrings/bearding/lavender haze/smokescreen to an old habit like smoking that she's trying to quit -> "6 weeks of breathing clean air, I still miss the smoke."

Now w all this context in mind, it makes more sense why Taylor has been emphasizing capital and lowercase letters and the number 4 recently. The hidden word hunt on Apple Music, thanK you aIMee, imgonnagetyouback, her retweets from 4/21/23-4/24/23 which happened in groups of 4, putting 4 letter words in all caps, etc. And now it's clear that "I keep these longings locked in lowercase inside a vault" is most likely referring to her explosive tell-all memoir, the reticent volcano, she's going to publish since 🌋 anon's messages were all in lowercase. "Restful, reticent, restraint" = locked inside a vault. Rep tv and the folklore and evermore vault tracks may also be included in this since these albums are in lowercase as well.

In conclusion, I think it is safe to say now that all of these anons are probably legit. In my opinion, all of these connections provide concrete evidence that these anons do foreshadow things and have ties to Taylor.

[bobfloydsbabe]

DEATH THREAT: REVISITED

On November 8th 2022, an anonymous person took issue with a post I made regarding the use of read more on long fics. All I asked in that post was that people used it, and if they didn’t know how, to google it or ask someone how. Simple. It should not have been offensive, and yet, someone took offense and started a tirade against me.

The post in question was this one:

(I know it says drafts, but I did post it here)

I put it in the Top Gun Maverick tags because that's where I spent my time. Usually I wouldn't, but I was fed up with having to scroll past 5k word fics, so I wrote this post. Could I have worded it differently or been nicer? Sure. The ask that followed was this one:

In the next one, they asked me to be kind. I made many of the same points as I did above, as seen here:

This response was clearly not the one they wanted, so they turned to name calling, vile accusations, and inappropriate sexual messages. I'm going to use the read more here to 1. hide the asks I got because they're upsetting and 2. shorten this post. No one wants to scroll forever to get past this.

Some of the asks I received included but were not limited to:

That last one is in reference to a message I answered, asking what evidence they had of me being into bestiality. I also do not have twitter.

This went on for hours, and while I was initially laughing, at some point it turned. I started feeling really upset and anxious about it. I remember shaking. Then came the death threat. It caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting it, and honestly, calling it a death threat might be a little extreme. Nonetheless, the threat of harm shocked me. I replied, trying to give off an air of nonchalance, when in reality, I was freaking out.

After that, I got a few more asks, upset I was calling it a death threat. I started calling it a threat of harm instead, because it felt extreme. After those asks, I turned off the option to send anonymous asks, which I had not done in all the years I’d been on Tumblr. I had to protect my mental health. I reported it to tumblr support and took a few days off the hellsite to give myself time to process.

Eventually, Tumblr got back to me, telling me they were “sorry I had a bad experience with anonymous asks” and told me to block the anons. I was furious. They dismissed not only me, but the threats I’d received. When I sent in my original ticket, I made it clear they could contact me if they needed more information. They never did. I’m still pissed about that. This was before you had to have an account to send anonymous asks, so they could still come back. I had to block five separate asks to get all of them to disappear.

Anonymous asks are currently open, but I'd be lying if I said I don't still get anxious when I see that grey icon in my inbox. I'm still scared they could come back and start up again. I'm finding it easier to turn off anon these days, and I've had to do it several times since then to protect myself further. I won't hesitate to do it again.

If you read this all the way to the end: Thank you for reading. I know this doesn't affect anyone but me, but I wanted to share this post, regardless. I want to thank the people who have been there for me through it all, and the ones who've listened to me talk about it. I appreciate you.

For now, I'm looking forward to celebrating 10 years in recovery from self-harm next week. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[ab4eva]

‘Just Like A Woman’ part 2

Summary: A Las Vegas showgirl falls in love with a heartbroken Elvis Presley. He is unwilling (or unable) to love her back.

Warnings: nsfw 18+ only, angst, intoxication, gaslighting, asshole Elvis, orgasm denial, hair pulling, knee-riding, handjob (m. receiving), Priscilla doesn’t exist in this timeline, not proofread.

Author’s note: A big thank you to the anon that sent me a message last week saying you needed more Tomorrow and Just Like A Woman, I wouldn’t have gotten this out today if not for you! As always, thanks to my bestie wives Birdy, Marina and Ally, for the love, support, guidance and laughs.

Word count: 2,757

Part 1

-

“Someone’s feelin’ a little tipsy, hmm darlin’?” he murmurs. You blink your eyes open and Elvis swims into view above you. Your breath catches in your throat and your face flushes with heat. You haven’t been this close to him in months and despite your drunken state, the joy and pain that pierces your heart at the sight of him, the sound of his voice only for you, has you blinking back tears and closing your eyes again quickly so he can’t see them. He doesn’t like it when you cry, it makes him madder than a hornet, and you’ve no wish to make him angry tonight. Tonight you just want to float away, let him make you feel like only he can. Worshipped. Adored. Wanted, if not exactly cherished. You relax into his touch as he runs his fingers through your hair languidly, enjoying the moment for what it is, a manifestation of his need for you, even if it is purely physical. You still have a certain amount of hold over him and you indulge the tiny flicker of possessive hope that sparks inside your chest.

“Alex told me you had a few too many drinks tonight…is that true, honey?” He suddenly grips your chin in his hand with a gentle force and pulls your head back, abruptly forcing you to look up at him once again. It isn’t mean, but it isn’t nice, either. He’s big on keeping up appearances, especially now that people know who you are. Hell, the press caught you in their crosshairs earlier this year and had a field day. “The King of Rock and Roll tarts it up with Vegas showgirl…but can you blame him?” It was unfair and nasty, the things they said about you in the article. But to Elvis, the only thing that had mattered was how he was portrayed. Ever since then you had to be on your best behavior, look absolutely perfect whenever you went out (with or without him), always be polite, well-spoken and well-dressed. Your mouth is suddenly filled with cotton and your heart speeds up as you try and fail to focus your eyes on his face. But the alcohol gets the better of you, the room spinning wildly out of control and you shut them again, unable to keep them open.

“Answer me honey,” he demands in a quiet voice through gritted teeth, shaking your chin a little. Your brows furrow together as a pounding ache in your head echoes the one in your chest. Your hand reaches up to grasp his arm that connects him to you, tugging a little on his sleeve, desperate for him to let you go. His hold on your chin is just a little too tight, his ringed fingers biting into the soft flesh of your jaw. Instead of letting go, his grip tightens ever so slightly, and you’re sure there will be half-moon crescents left behind on your skin by his perfectly manicured fingernails.

“Elvis…can you…please.” You manage to choke out through the vise-like hold he has on your mouth, trying to shake your head, straining against him, pulling harder on his arm. He chuckles darkly and releases you with a final squeeze that has you rubbing your jaw and gasping a little. The room dances around you and you close your eyes again, unable to follow his movements as he paces back and forth like a tiger in a jungle, regal and smoothly hypnotic, full of pent up rage bubbling just beneath the surface. This is bad. You haven’t seen him this worked up since just after you met him, when you slowly and painstakingly pieced his shattered heart back together again.

“Goddamnit, kitten!” he roars suddenly, startling you out of your stupor, your eyes flying open at the sound, your heart pounding uncontrollably again. “Did you make a fool of yourself out there? At my show?!” He points a finger toward the door before slapping a hand forcefully against his chest. “Did you make a fool outta me?!”

He stops in front of you, jewel-littered chest heaving, delicate hands balled into fists at his side. Some survival instinct inside your rib cage is screaming at you to flee, now, run far away. You can feel your legs itching to sprint, your fight or flight mode kicking into high gear. But. God help you, in this moment, you shouldn’t be as attracted to him as you are. The way the light gleams off the gold chains resting in the thicket of his chest hair, a slight sheen of sweat bathing him in an ethereal glow. His midnight hair mussed, plush mouth parted in something resembling a sneer, perfect white teeth that all at once look as if they could devour you whole. His eyes travel the length of you, assessing, taking in your long, bare limbs, firm and toned, a dancer’s body. The ample swell of your full breasts barely contained by the slip of silk covering your chest, the curves of your face cherubic and womanly in the same turn.

Slowly, his lithe body slowly bends to hover over you as he brings a knee up to rest on the couch between your bare thighs, his arms bracketing either side of you, pinning you to the couch. You can see the strain of his cock forming an outline against his tight pants, and you lick your lips as you feel arousal flood your folds. You offer a silent thanks to the universe that you chose this sliver of a silk dress tonight. It barely covers your soaked panties at this point. Your breathing grows shallow at the sheer closeness of him, your nose picking up the heady scent of his musk and sweat mixed with something spicy. It threatens to overwhelm your senses in your current state and has your heartbeat kicking up a notch. He smirks as his knee slides forward an inch, two inches, ever so slowly, until it meets your clothed pussy. Your sharp gasp at the contact makes his smirk deepen and he shifts his leg just a little, sending shockwaves through your body. Your head falls back on the couch and one of his hands fists in your hair, tangling his fingers in the long, silky stands.

He begins his leisurely assault on your body, the grind of his hips in perfect rhythm with the tugging of your hair, your scalp and pussy tingling pleasantly. You spread your legs wider to give him better access as your hands reach up to clutch at his narrow waist. He stops abruptly, arching away from you without breaking contact.

“Ah, ah, ah…you don’t get to touch me yet, baby. Been a bad little girl, and bad girls don’t get what they want,” he murmurs lowly, his voice dripping with honey so thick it’s like he can barely get the words out. You’re too far gone to care at this point, the alcohol and endorphins racing through your body, the thrill of being close to him again, of him touching you after so long an absence. You settle for grabbing fistfuls of the fluffy pillows decorating the couch as he finally begins to move once more, his icy eyes boring holes into yours, pink mouth parted invitingly. Anger sears through you in an instant at the fact you can’t kiss him there. You want nothing more than to crush your lips to his in this moment, to feel his tongue gliding against yours, exchanging breaths like your lives depended on it. But a particularly severe jolt against your swollen clit has you forgetting everything but the here and now, your eyes squeezing shut in pleasure. You can feel the tidal wave building, so close to crashing over you and pulling you under, you’ll be gone in a matter of seconds. You wantonly grind down on Elvis’s knee, needing more friction and a throaty moan escapes your lips. You hear a low growl as he pulls your hair hard, once, and a sharp pain shoots from your head to your toes, before he’s letting go completely, stepping away from you so quickly your mind can’t keep up with the sudden change. Your hips are still bucking up, seeking contact where there isn’t any.

Your eyes fly open, your body trembling with unshed release, your breath stolen by the orgasm that had been so near, your hands still gripping the pillows. He’s angry again, that burning fire inside barely contained, the telltale jiggle of his leg giving him away. Tears threaten to spill down your cheeks but you blink them away, they’ll only make him madder.

“You know how I-I-I feel about drinkin’. A-a-and losin’ control. Did you even stop to think for one goddamn minute about how that might look? About how that m-m-might make me look?”

You’re frozen where you sit, flushed, needy and exposed, wishing the floor would open up and swallow you. Anything to get away from his burning anger towards you. Confusion worms it’s way into your hazy brain. You should have been more careful. What if someone had seen you. Did you make a fool of yourself? You don’t remember doing anything more than having a good time, enjoying the show. You had sat in your booth and sung along a little, but that was it. You hadn’t gotten up and danced, or rushed the stage or screamed. You hadn’t acted like all of his other fans. You had behaved yourself. Hadn’t you? Your mind is fuzzy and his fury threatens to engulf the both of you…can’t be sure now.

His eyes are twin blue flames that blaze with anger and something else…something deeper that you can’t quite put your finger on in your hazy state. You reach out a hand to him, wanting even now to comfort him, he looks so much like a scared little boy that your heart can’t help but break a tiny bit. You swallow and struggle to stand from where you’ve melted into the soft couch, thinking if you can get a handle on the situation everything will be ok. He watches you with a look of disdain on his face, derision written like bitter words across his beautiful features before he turns and stalks to the window, brooding over the glittering blanket of stars that is Las Vegas stretched out below. He leaves you to help yourself up, swaying a little when you finally stand, gripping the edge of the couch to keep from falling.

“Elvis, please…I’m sorry. I didn’t do anything wrong, I promise. I was a good girl, I swear it.” You wince at the desperation in your voice, unable to keep yourself from begging for his forgiveness. You don’t even know what it is you need forgiveness for, but you must have done something awful to cause such a reaction in him. You’re unsteady on your feet but will yourself forward, thinking if you could just touch him, just soothe him a little like you did all that time ago, he would soften and turn into your embrace as he once did. You would never admit this to anyone, can hardly admit it to yourself, but you miss the Elvis you first met, the shell of a man who went through the motions of life with a cracked facade and broken heart. He was angry, yes, but also lost and broken. You remember nights in his bed, holding him close to your chest as he cried bitter tears, his body wracked with sobs. All you could do then was hold him, but it was enough. It had been enough. If he would only let you hold him again things might be different.

Tentatively you reach a shaking hand out and it hovers over his back, afraid to make contact, afraid that he’ll shake it off, or worse, turn and snatch your delicate wrist in his burning grasp. You gently ease your palm into the hollow of his shoulder blades, so light is your touch at first he isn’t sure it’s actually there. But then his head droops and his shoulders relax, a deep sigh emanating from within him. You press your hand a little firmer, rubbing his back soothingly. You feel him shudder and wonder when was the last time that someone touched him so gently, with only the intent to give and not receive. If only he would open his heart to you, you could give him so much, love him so well. You swallow the tears in your throat, those won’t do at the moment, and shake your head to clear your thoughts. Your hand moves up to the nape of his neck, kneading as you go, releasing the tension he always holds there. Your fingers slip into his hair, stroking and scratching, as you feel his head tip back and grow heavy in your hand. You step closer, the heat radiating off of him making you shiver in the air-conditioned room, the alcohol starting to wear off a tiny bit. You snake an arm around his waist and pull him flat against your chest. He resists at first, stiffening in your arms, before softening once again, slumping against you.

You lay your head on his back and sigh, finally feeling a sense of peace at being back where you belong. Next to him. You pull him closer, placing a hand over his heart, pressing the whole of yourself against him as he turns his head to look at you over his shoulder, his breath coming in shallow exhalations. You feel his heart speed up under your palm and yours matches his rhythm. His hand covers the one of yours around his waist and slowly guides it down, down, inching towards that part of him that is needy and begging to be set free. It feels as if you both stop breathing when your entwined hands reach the hard, twitching length of him. Your fingers close over his concealed cock and he groans, unable to keep from thrusting a little in desperation. In the mirrored reflection of the window before you your eyes meet his, an unspoken plea falling silent and heavy. You know what he needs, know how he likes to be touched and handled.

You fumble with his belt buckle briefly before it falls to the floor with thud, followed by the sound of a zipper and the rustle of fabric. Reaching into his jumpsuit your cool hand meets hot, hard velvet, throbbing and heavy as you pull him out. You smear the generous amount of precum leaking from his tip onto the rest of his straining cock as you close your fist around him, moving your hand slowly. Teasingly at first you twist and squeeze lightly, running your thumb over the tip of his sensitive head, until you feel his hips start to thrust into your hand. Your hand squeezes his slippery member more tightly, dragging up and down with a satisfying squelch as his broad chest starts to heave through his open jumpsuit. One of his hands tangles in your hair while the other one finds your ass cheek and grabs hold, crushing it in his grip. He’s beautiful in the reflection of the window, his lidded eyes blinking slowly, mouth parted in ecstasy, his head falling back onto your shoulder as you cradle him in your arms.

“Oh goddamn,” he breathes raggedly. “Just like that, baby, right there.” It isn’t long before he stiffens and spasms in your arms, hot spurts of pearlescent come covering your hand. You hold him closely, your arm around his chest tightening to keep him upright as he reaches out a hand to the window to keep from falling. You’re both out of breath as you release his softening cock to fetch a towel from the bathroom. You drop to your knees before him, gently cleaning away the sticky mess, mindful of his sensitivity. He cups your face tenderly, tilting it up, his thumb making small circles on your cheek as his lips lift in a crooked half-smile.

“Sober up.” The words drop from his mouth like a stone into your heart. His hand falls from your cheek as he turns away, adjusting himself as he heads for the door. You can’t hide the look of devastation on your face as the door swings shut with a soft click behind him, on your knees with the lights of Las Vegas mocking you brilliantly from below.

-

Tags - not all of them work, so sorry. Let me know if you want to be added or removed! @jelliedonut @butlersxbirdy @precious-little-scoundrel @elvisabutler @eliseinmemphis @powerofelvis @missmaywemeetagain @godlypresley @be-my-ally @richardslady121 @prompted-wordsmith @dkayfixates @from-memphis-with-love @whositmcwhatsit @butler-trouble @artlover8992 @headfullofpresley @ohjustpeachy1 @literally-just-elvis-fics @dhimpson1

[peachdues]

Hi Peach!

I’ve only been following you for a few months now, but I was wondering how you and Sam met? You don’t have to answer if that’s too personal, I’m just curious! You guys seem to have a really sweet and healthy relationship <3

sorry for taking so long to respond to this — you and another anon (I think 🥀) asked this? And I promise I wasn’t ignoring you!

It’s funny, because last week marked the seven year anniversary of me receiving this message from Sam

For context, we went to the same (absurdly small) university. We knew who the other was, but never had really met or hung out before, despite having a bit of cross over between friend groups.

To start, we met at a party at the start of the semester our junior year when we were forced to share a couch bed together despite being total strangers (not really forced, but it happened that way). Major “there was only one bed” trope. I didn’t really see his face bc I was slightly drunk and FREEZING and lowkey suspicious of him. He ended up throwing a blanket over me because he said, and I quote, “the futon is vibrating.” That gesture was so sweet and it really stuck out to me. I told my roommates the next day and then kinda forgot about him.

My best friend/roommate was the orchestrator of us meeting/getting together. After that party, I spotted Sam one day walking across campus (apparently I didn’t recognize him?? But my friends knew who I was talking about from the party because like I said, they all knew him) and I told her I’d fuck him.I had a little pattern of saying that about someone on campus and I’d end up doing it before the semester was over — until Sam. I was bummed that my streak was apparently over, and I was bitching to my other roommate about it one night at the end of the semester when, not an hour later, he sent me that little gem of a message. I felt vindicated af after that.

The problem was, I was about to spend a semester in DC working/interning, and wouldn’t be back on campus until the following autumn — but we hit it off so well and we didn’t really know what to do (my school was like 11 hours away by car from my home, so there wasn’t any way we could hang out over winter break).

Ultimately, we decided not to date until I returned to campus in August, but then Sam came and visited me in DC in February and we just kinda said “fuck it,” (and then we fucked each other). We’ve been together ever since!

I should add that he waited so long to reach out (despite my roommate like. Hyping me up) because he thought I was way out of his league and was terrified of me because I was “the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen” and it made him nervous.

[siriuslysatorusimping]

Hi Kiko! I hope youre doing okay today. I just wanted to message you to say I'm really looking forward to your patreon and can't wait to sign up 😁 ever since I came across your page, I have love love LOVEDD following/reading your stories and just whatever you post in general.

I also wanted to say that I really relate to what you're going through, and I'm sorry. I've been through something very similar to you, in that Ive had a break up from someone I really truly thought id be with forever (we were married, I left bc he was an alcoholic, and he died 6 months later from alcohol poisoning before the divorce actually went thru) and I was with him since high school so it really messed me up trying to live without him, even though living WITH him was hell.

I know this might seem like TMI, but I know that feeling alone on top of going through something like this can be painful. I guess I just want you to know that Ive been where you are in some fashion, and I don't know what's on the other side, but you're not alone. sometimes (all the time) I feel like no one gets what I've been through. So, it's refreshing to see you be open and honest about your hardships, bc real life is fucking hard. And I honestly didn't think it would be this way, but here I am. And I guess that's ok, so long as I can find happiness in little things, if not bigger things in life, like reading your stories and following your page/other artists. So thanks for that, and keep being you bc it means something to me 💓 ❣️❣️

Hi sweet anon!

OKAY. FIRST OFF, I AM SO SORRY THAT IT'S TAKEN ME OVER A MONTH TO RESPOND TO THIS! I kept telling myself I needed to respond to it, and then got distracted or couldn't think of the words to say. I've been second-guessing myself a lot lately when it comes to talking to people or answering messages, so again, I'm so sorry 😭

Sweet, sweet anon, I am so sorry you had to go through all of that. I definitely understand the feeling of struggling to live without someone even though living with them was even worse. I saw a thing not long ago that said something like 'you're allowed to miss the people you no longer want in your life' and I think that toxic/abusive relationships absolutely encompass that. My ex-husband was emotionally abusive, and so many people have asked me why on earth I married him or stayed with him for so long, and the only answer I can give is because I did love him. But eventually, that love wasn't enough to make up for how horribly he treated me when he was in a bad mood. I could say more, but I'll spare you and everyone else an overly long rant about things I've semi-discussed before.

I appreciate this message so much. And it's one reason I took so long to respond because I wasn't sure how to even express how much it means to me that you sent this. It's simultaneously been one of the best and worst years of my life. It's been great because I started finding myself and who I am outside of my toxic marriage, but the worst because there's been so much change and so many big things that are terrifying, and the uncertainty now of being unemployed just makes it all worse. I've also been coming to terms with a lot of things I genuinely never knew were due to my autism, and the anger that comes from realizing just how unfair everything has been. Because life just isn't fair and that fucking sucks. Because no matter how hard you try, sometimes it really isn't enough but that doesn't mean that you aren't enough and that's something that's easier said than felt.

Your message made me tear up a bit while I was reading it for so many reasons, but one of them was being told that the things I create actually make people happier and their days even a tiny bit brighter. It's so easy to fall into a rut and feel like nothing I do is worth anything because I was told that for so long by people that I respected and loved. So thank you. Thank you so much for being part of this lil corner and for this message and for being here. Thank YOU for being you. Please, please keep doing that because you're beautiful and wonderful and incredibly strong.

Also, a small side note: the coffee shop job I mentioned a bit ago worked out and I should be starting tomorrow! And I'm moving next week, so life is about to be even more chaotic than it already is. BUT, I've also got a lil extra for Physical Paradox planned soon so keep an eye out for that 👀

Thank you again for your sweet message, and I hope you're well!!

💕💕

[crispycreambacon]

HELLO AGAINN !! ^O^ IT’S THE ANON FROM THE OTHER DAY !!! JUST FELT LIKE SENDING A FOLLOW-UP ASK ,, ^_^

FIRST OFF , OH MY GODDD ?1??1 I WAS ABSOLUTELY NOT EXPECTING SUCH A HEARTFELT RESPONSE WHAT THE HELL ,,, I’M SO GLAD THAT MADE YOUR DAY SO MUCH ?1?2?1? SNIFFFLLESS ,,😢😢

ALSO !!!! I DIDN’T MENTION IT IN THE FIRST ASK BUT SOMETIME BETWEEN WHEN I SENT THAT AND NOW , I READ YOUR TRANS PROFESSOR FIC AND OHHH MY GODDDDDDD . THAT WAS SO . HOLY FUCKING SHIT . GENUINELY SPEECHLESS .

I READ IT AT LIKE 1AM ON A SCHOOL NIGHT AND AAAUUUGGHFHF THAT HIT LIKE A TON OF BRICKS ,, I WAS LITERALLY LIKE THAT ONE “light work , no reaction ! OOHHH… OKAY IT’S GOT A LITTLE KICK…” VIDEO WHILE READING… NOT TO MENTION THAT I LISTENED TO ANTHEMS FOR A SEVENTEEN-YEAR-OLD-GIRL AS I READ .

WHILE I DID SOB SEVERAL TIMES WHEN READING , THAT DOES NOT MAKE THIS ANY LESS OF A POSITIVE MESSAGE !!!! I AM YET TO REREAD IT , BUT THE FIC MEANT SO MUCH TO ME , AS SOMEONE WHO HASN’T FELT SURE OF THEIR GENDER LIKE… FOREVER . AND EVENTUALLY JUST GAVE UP FIGURING IT OUT . ( & also had friends that suspected i may be non-binary …. haven’t officially went with any label yet though )

I RESONATED WITH CONNIE SO MUCH WHILE READING ,,, TO THE POINT I HAVE SINCE BEEN CONSIDERING STEALING HIS NAME . IT’S SO INSANE TO ME TOO BECAUSE I’VE NEVER FELT SO STRONGLY ABOUT A POTENTIAL ADDITION TO MY RELATIVELY SHORT LIST OF NAMES ??? AND IT’S MOSTLY DUE TO YOUR FIC ,, I EVEN HAVE A PROFILE OF ONE OF THE PIECES GOING WITH THE FIC BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH IT RESONATED WITH ME . ( WITH CREDITS OFC DWWW !!! ^_^ )

ANYWAYS MOVING ON FROM THAT !!! I’M VERY GLAD TO HEAR I CAN USE YOUR ART FOR EDITS !!! ^O^ I ACTUALLY TRIED TO EDIT YOUR PUPPET HISTORY GOD ART EARLIER TODAY ,,,, UNTIL I DISCOVERED THAT CAPCUT DECIDED TO MAKE MOTION BLUR A PRO FEATURE . WHICH SUCKS ASS , CONSIDERING HOW IMPORTANT MOTION BLUR IS IN TRANSITION EDITS ,,, AND HOW I LACK CAPCUT PRO 😞😞 BUT WHENEVER I RECOVER FROM THAT !!!! BE READY FOR AN EDIT !!!! ^_^

ANYWAAAYSS THIS WAS MUCH LONGER THAN ANTICIPATED ,,, HERE IS A GOLD STAR FOR MAKING IT THIS FAR & HAVE A FABULOUS DAY !!!! ^O^ ⭐️

- 🦇

Hello... Sorry for taking a while to respond to you. Life's been kinda busy on my end 😅

But waugh... it really means a lot to see you and your kind words again. I'm so so happy that Snip Snip resonated so strongly with you especially since I poured a lot of my experiences as a non-binary person into the fic. And it's incredible that you potentially found a new name through this fic!! Oh my gosh, I'm actually tearing up as I type this.. It really is heartwarming knowing the impact that fic had on you <3

Best of luck in your journey! Just a reminder that while labels can provide a sense of comfort and community, they aren't as important as the internet makes them out to be. You don't need to label your identity to have your identity be valid. You are welcome in the LGBT+ community regardless of whether you know what your gender is or not. Experiment with labels if you'd like—you can always change your mind about them—and do what is best for you.

And THAT IS FOUL OF CAPCUT TO DO OH MY GOSH??? Editing programs stop gatekeeping important features through subscription fees challenge... Agh, I hope you'll get around this problem. I really am so excited to see the edit. Again, PLEASE tag me or send me a link through DMs. I'd be more than happy to check it out :]

Once again, thank you so much for this incredibly sweet message 🫂 I hope you are doing well, and may you have fabulous days ahead of you ^^

[firsttarotreader]

Hey mami and mami followers! 👋🏻 so, I own a little collection of astrology books and found some very interesting things in some of them and I think that what I have to share might be interesting for some of this blog's readers. I'd like to start with excerpts of one of my favorite books "Sextrology: the astrology of sex and the sexes". This book focus on the sexual aspect of the signs and was written by Stella Starsky and Quinn Cox, the latter being a amazing gay astrologer that contributed greatly for the queer part of the book to be very interesting and full of details. So, the excerpts I'm sharing on this message are regarding the taurus queer men. Pedro has a taurus venus and the venus influence on someone's personality is quite strong since the planet rules, among other stuff, a person's desires and sexuality in general, and the other reason why I choosed these excerpts it's the fact that a lot of fans seem to agree that Pedro MIGHT be a bissexual man and I think what is said in these excerpts is super interesting regarding that possibility:

"And given the whirlwind of masculine and feminine energies of the sign, the majority of Taurus guys tend to be quite bisexual in nature, rather than polarized one way or another, homo or straight. Few heterosexual Taureans have not been with another man at some point in their lives, in the same way that some homosexual Taureans manage to find themselves in love with a woman, from time to time, forming strong emotional connections with the opposite sex."

"(...) sometimes this paternal dynamic takes a different turn, with the Taurus falling in love with a close friend's boyfriend or husband — or the couple themselves. In this case, he may be projecting onto the beloved couple his own repressed need for happy parents. For Taurus natives, a suggestion of bisexuality is always intriguing. Even the most strictly gay native may at some point end up in bed with a woman. Because they live on such a sensual level, in which the physical aspect of sexuality does not always fully penetrate his mind, the emotional attachment to a member of the opposite sex could lead him to follow such a path."

It's also interesting that the book describes both aries and taurus queer men as "dominant" and totally inclined to be in the "top" position, with taurus been a more "romantic" top type and aries the "agressive" type and that piece of information matches the readings of this blog 🤔 now, if Pedro, in his same-sex romances, is indeed the dominant top guy and whether he is romantic or aggressive, I don't know, I just think this book is overall amazing (and huge, very rich in details) and I wanted to share something that has to do with some of the fans guesses.

I will share more on my next message so this one don't get extremely big 😘

Awww, thank you so much for taking the time to send all that! And y’all, this anon sent me A LOT, so we’re gonna have a lot of information! 🥹🥹🥹

Now the sign we have to write in neon every time: we don’t know what Pedro’s sexuality is for sure unless he says it himself, the anon is just sharing the knowledge from a book they read.

[drill-teeth]

I’ve been working on spending less time on tumblr. Which I’m glad about because it’s doing wonders for my mental health. But real quick I wanted to make a post about one of the reasons why.

So like. The amount of and speed of parasocial attachment and people expecting me to behave the way they want me to always that happens on this website is genuinely distressing. Over on my art blog, I don’t even have that big a following. More than the casual tumblr user, and I’m lucky to have it! But I’m not raking in the notes and commissions by any means. I have a relatively small following that I appreciate. And still I’ve had these like. Disturbing instances of people on anon coming in my inbox taking one of my posts EXTREMELY personally as if I was talking directly about or to them. Or overstepping my boundaries big time by reading a post I made and assuming immediately that it’s okay to vent in my inbox and ask me for very specific personal life advice. Or an extremely invasive question sent to my inbox on anon that I responded to saying that it was invasive and rude and afterwards finding out someone who’d been chatting with me a little in DMs sent that to me and blocked me immediately after my reply.

And it’s like. Stressful. It’s really stressful. It’s definitely not the WORST thing that could be happening to me. But I am also going through a lot in my personal life actually. And it would be nice when I logged onto my silly app to post art if people didn’t leave a paragraph anon message to me about how they were personally hurt and slighted by my most recent inbox boundary reminder post. And I’m like??? I don’t know you hello??? Or do I know you and now someone I know is just mad at me but I don’t know who? Like! That’s stressful! Please stop assuming so much personal malice from me. Like I don’t know you I’m just posting.

And for me. Personally. These interactions thankfully aren’t the majority of my online experience. But it’s still very uncomfortable and I’m like. Begging people to understand that like. When you send someone an anon message and they misunderstand it or even understand it just fine but don’t like it, like. That’s fine. The people you’re reaching out to online are PEOPLE. They’re not perfect. They’re not monsters for responding to you with frustration one time. And if you’ve never interacted with them in private, then genuinely they don’t know you and you don’t know them. So treat them as you would like. Talking to your favorite artist at their comic con booth or something. Treat them as a person you haven’t met.

And look it’s also shitty to send these sorts of anons to neurotypical people. But I will also add that like. Sometimes this shit is a NIGHTMARE on my paranoid delusions. And since I can’t force people on tumblr to approach me as a person, clearly. Then I’ll spend less time on it. Because I have to take care of me.

[cursedfortune]

Hey. In your post, you did address why I failed to follow up in a timely fashion - I have been intimidated, uncertain and scared. I'm not the person you thought sent the initial message expressing a desire to apologize, but I was a friend of yours, and our friendship came to an end in a nasty fashion a while back and there's been a bad taste in my mouth ever since. In fact, I've been wanting to apologize for quite some time now, but never conjured up the courage because I thought I was not "allowed" to and that you would not ever want to hear from me again. I thought it was just best to let sleeping dogs lie and move on, but I have not been able to stop thinking about you or feeling fondness for you, even after all of this time. I'll be honest and say that I don't want to get closure, close a chapter and move on, instead I want to make amends, hash it all out and renew our friendship. But I completely understand that the onus is on me to approach you, initiate a conversation and work with you towards that desired outcome without any anonymity and with full transparency, and I will as soon as possible. I just wanted to send you this right away to (hopefully) ease the worries, concerns and confusions that seem to be clouding your mind currently. Thank you. I'm not looking for a response to this so you need not provide one if you don't want to, and I know there's only one thing left to do now.

hm.

there's really only two people i've had falling outs with to a not great degree. the one this past month and the one that you mentioned, a while back. i'm not going to fault you for your hesitation to reach out. these things are always anxiety-inducing to deal with. i would appreciate a clearer indicator but seeing how the possibilities are slim that does make it easier.

i try to not live my life as a hypocrite. if you've taken time to think about things and want to have a transparent conversation about what happened and see from there - i'm not someone who will deny it. time gives us the chance to see what we didn't like about ourselves, what we didn't like doing to someone else and all the things between. i'm never going to promise an outcome but i can promise that i go into even personal situations as unbiased as i can because i want to hear you (or anyone) out. also i'm processing how i feeling atm, so please ignore if this message sounds like it's lacking an emotion or something. asdfghjk

i'll admit, i am confused about the timing and intercepting someone separately who wanted to apologize. and what you mean by ease worries and stuff if you weren't the one who initially sent that ask is also a little confusing to me. but i think that's something you can clear up for me if you want to have a conversation about things. i'm also confused by your final line in this post because it has a rather ominous tone? and that might just be my time being forced to be someone's personal suicide lookout for most of my life. so i hope it's just me overthinking and ??? wording there and nothing actually that serious is being considered.

i'd prefer this talk happens sooner. in truth, i'm a little beat being in the position to wait on others to talk to me like a person - or like a friend, with these types of matters. if you change your mind on doing this, i just ask you don't leave me in suspense and send another anon to say as much. i don't know if you have a blog anymore, if i've blocked it and need to unblock it or what. assuming this is best privately discussed on discord, you can feel free to message me your handle or if you still have mine - send a request if you're able. it's very rare i outright block people in case something like this happens (wanting to make amends or discuss it). but it happens. the recent one it did, but i can't recall about the past one.

either way, you can message me and we can move this privately to speak.

[hxpelessnurse]

If you didn't want to answer my ask that's fair, but don't vague me and treat me like an antagonist for asking a question.

This is probably the reason people don't send you many ask like you said in your "vent post" you're a rude, egotistical ass.

Alright. I have had enough of this bullshit.

I know EXACTLY who sent this. I know why you sent it. Because You've sent me similar messages to this and another one of my blogs in the last two days. I was going to reply to the IM you sent me on Froppy but you blocked me before I could. And I REALLY hate putting drama out in the open like this but since you're a coward and hiding behind anon, here it is for everyone to see:

From the moment you started following me, you did nothing but treat me and my muses like objects. You posted on my selfies thirsting in the guise of compliments, you kept messaging me asking to ship and when I said no you'd act like that was okay then ask again later on. I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt. I tried to change the subjects, or just stop the conversation altogether when I got uncomfortable. But then you basically said you weren't going to interact with me at all if our muses weren't shipping and so I thought, well damn ok. And I soft-blocked you. And you followed me again. So I hard-blocked this time. But then you decided to start this little harassment campaign because god forbid someone doesn't want to RP with you anymore.

You wanna talk rude and egotistical? You're sending anon hate because I said I wasn't interested in making my muses dick-ride your OC and now you're fucking butthurt about it. Real fucking mature for a 30+-year-old man, huh?

As for the vent I posted - no, I was not vague blogging about you. But you have proved my point that people don't fucking respect other people's blog rules. Here you are sending multiple hate messages over multiple days now because you can't just cut your losses and move on with your life. Grow the fuck up.

This is a fucking hobby on the internet. It means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I did not owe you this explanation. No one owes anyone an explanation as to why they unfollow/block someone. But it's people like you who send hate and harass others when they take things way too personally that puts a sour taste in people's mouths when they think of the RPC.

Please leave me the fuck alone.

And to those on the dashboard scrolling through and having to see this amongst your wonderful writing, edits, memes, and other content. I apologize. I am so sorry that I had to bring this out into the open and post this dumb drama. But I'm putting my foot down now before this gets even worse.

[someoneimsure]

Hello.. I dunno where to start with this but I need some advice if you’re willing to give it. When I just joined the site around a year ago, I had nooo clue about internet safety or warning signs or even what an anti or a pro shipper was. I barely knew how tumblr worked basically. I had always identified as asexual after hearing its definition from a friend a few years ago, so I didn’t know that would be a problem on the internet, either (spoiler alert: it was) basically when I was very new to both tumblr and the whole fandom experience I kind of accidentally fell into a really, reallyyyy bad, toxic subsection of fans because those were the blogs recommended to me by tumblr 😭 none of them identified them as antis (didn’t know what that was) but said if you were proship not to follow them, which I also didn’t know what that was, so I just followed them anyway. When I had like ~35 followers some biggish account follows me back and starts acting veryyyy buddy-buddy. Sliding into messages, trying to pressure me for personal information like my name, age, and selfie. I said a fake name and my real age but refused a selfie because of internet safety and made me feel guilty for it.. they also reblogged a bunch of reblog bait CONSTANTLY like ‘what color are your eyes?’ ‘What hair texture are you?’ ‘What’s your skin color?’ And tagged me in it. I was dumb and participated in it but now I feel sick that they were manipulatively trying to figure out what I looked like. They also tagged me in several little ask games where you also tag your other mutuals at the end of it, that will be important later. Basically, they literally OUT OF THE BLUE went on several long, longggg, vitriolic rants about how much they absolutely despised asexual people, how we are single handedly oppressing gay people and trying to ban gay sex, how we want to be oppressed so badly, how straight we ‘basically’ are, how much asexual headcanons annoyed and disgusted them in fandom, etc. mind you, I had my sexuality in my bio at the time. I was very meek and naive (this was only a year ago lmao how times change) and decided to respond to the rants in the morning about how they made me feel. Went to bed, woke up, found out I had been softblocked on the false assumption that I was a dirty hidden proshipper because I had reblogged from someone with a username like antis solve nothing or something idk, again didn’t know what that was but actually was following them for their niche fandom meta, I learned later what the whole fandom shipping stuff was and don’t feel one way or another about it but am starting to think it was just an excuse to softblock me since she knew I was asexual lmao. Also how do I know she softblocked me for this? She made a post about it and called me a cockroach which… wow, where have I heard that one before… (I’m Jewish btw so if I’ve become accustomed to being compared to a bug) But this is all just backdrop. I blocked them and moved on with my life because tbh I don’t really give a fuck one way or another, but I started to receive death threats periodically from makeshift side blogs, occasionally from anonymous as well. They always say the same thing and I only get them once in a great while, so just going off that, there’s no way I’d be able to find out who actually sent them… except that the death threats also targeted my mutuals. Specifically, the mutuals who I tagged in the little ask games I was asked to participate in by the toxic mutual. So that’s why I think it’s them, and it’s honestly scary how far they’ve gone to circumvent my various blocks (I must’ve blocked them like 11 different times now) and ig. I dunno what to do. Or even if it is actually them. But I have a strong suspicion it is. What do you think?

I am so sorry you experienced that anon! I agree with your suspicion. This is very typical anti behavior. You’ve accidentally become their hyperfixation, and now they are stalking you.

There are ways to solve this problem without deleting your blog, but your friends might have to change their urls so they are no long being linked back to the ask game. (I assume the stalker in this scenario has reblogged the ask game already. Unfortunately, your solution is going to be complicated because changing your url will not prevent them from finding you.)

For all of your friends, I recommend blocking the stalker, changing your urls, and then all of you doing this:

Turn off anon. You can do this from the app and from the web browser. In the latter, it’s located under Edit Appearance.

Turn on invisibility. This is located in the web browser version under Edit Appearance at the way bottom.

Wait a month before switching back.

This is the bare minimum measure to prevent and avoid being harassed on tumblr. It is not foolproof, but it will force the cowards to think twice before harassing you. If they continue to harass you, they won’t be on anon when they do it and it will give you more credibility when you report them to tumblr for spam and harassment. (Though I don't believe I have ever seen the staff do anything about it... hellsite <3.)

There is a more complicated way to solve this problem, but it’s a headache. It involves deleting your blog.

If the above doesn't stop them from harassing you, or worse they come back to harassing you after a month, you may have to delete your blog. I would need to do a little more research before I can say how to do so without losing your url. Some sources say you can't use your url after 24 hours of changing or deleting a blog, but that has not been my experience with switching accounts. As far as I know, you will have to be very vigilant and fast to grab your url again. I am hoping to find some way to avoid that though.

Fortunately, tumblr has an export/import ability on the web browser so at least your posts can be saved and recovered. The same cannot be said for followers, following, and liked posts, so if you must take this option you will need to at least save the names of all your mutuals so you can follow them when your blog is up again.

[f1-disaster-bi]

Wtf??? I just saw anon sent you some insane ask and I'm like???!? Even if they don't like your fav wtf is it that people feel the right to send this to you? Like how can you wish a horrible situation to someone??? Especially death? Like wtf! I'm sorry I'm going into circle here but that's the most insane thing I've seen. Like that anon need to touch some grass and get the fuck out.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that with your family and I hope you'll get surrounded by kind people to help you overcome your grief. My DM are open if you just want to talk.

Also to be clear no matter how much you like or dislike someone wishing for their actual death is insane and deranged and says more about you anon than about the ones loving that person.

I don't know who they were referring to, but if its Lando then get fucked. I don't like Lando like at all for personal reasons. But I will never wish for his death. Never. Like wtf is that?!?!

Honestly, I don't know what that person was aiming for with what they sent aside from wanting to hurt me.

The facct they would have had to scroll back through my tumblr to see the post I made about why I've been so quiet on here lately just makes it worse. They had to possibly follow me or they do follow me. They read me talking about everything my family is goig through right now and they made a joke of it.

I don't know if they meant Lando or Lance, but Im going to assume it was Lando they were discussing with referring to my fav since so many other F1 fans on here that like Lando have been getting hate over the last two weeks but none of them have gotten one as personal as that attack

As I said to them, I hope they never experience what my family is experiencing right now. I hope they don't spend the night crying like I did and I hope they never live in fear of a phone call they know is coming to let them know someone they love isn't here anymore because it's torture.

Thank you so much for the kind message. I'm honesty reading every little kindess I've gotten in the last week and it keeps me going ❤️

[parakeetpark]

It's HOT ,and gross !!