#and so he's the genius and i have a talent. wowie

[irritablepoe]

Once I don't fear not being smart enough anymore it's over for y'all

[daniigrimm-blog]

Can we just take a moment to simp about the newest album drop by Black Veil Brides, The Phantom Tomorrow, released October 29, 2021. I know, I know, I maybe should have wrote this post like two years ago but really I had a lot to do in the meantime and wanted to give it the true justice this piece of art really deserves. This release is the second album drop since the band's decision to part ways with former bassist Ashley Purdy, (the first basically being a re-master of their former masterpiece debut album "We Stitch These Wounds", now dubbed cleverly, "Re-Stitch These Wounds") and now this! Can I just say, WOW-wowie-wow-wow-wowzers! omg I am just BLOWN away by what has gone into this piece of art and I feel blessed to be born in a time where I got to truly experience its release. Just wow. Welcome to the band Lonny Eagleton, with a resounding, please please don't ever leave.

Tracklist:

The Phantom Tomorrow (Introduction)

Scarlet Cross

Born Again

Blackbird

Spectres (Interlude)

Torch

The Wicked One

Shadows Rise

Fields of Bone

Crimson Skies

Kill the Hero

Fall Eternal

Oh hey did you know that Black Veil Brides released a COMIC BOOK?! It apparently goes right along with this masterpiece of an album because WHY NOT? Siri, can you add "Buy The Phantom Tomorrow comic" to my to-do list? Hell yes. I bought Andy's Ghost of Ohio when it dropped so ya know ya girl is gonna hop this band wagon. And who wouldn't? With such an awesome story and a crazy ass cover like that? Name two people, I bet you cant. And if you can I don't believe you.

From the mouths of babes, as they say. And man is Andy a MAJOR babe. Anyhoo, I figured I would save ya'll a track-by-track personal breakdown because who can do it better than the guys themselves? Amirite? I will say this though, this album feels WHOLE. It feels full. It feels like a really well-rounded album. I'm not a musician myself, but I LOVE music, and I have been watching a lot of different bands grow and rise and it has been an absolutely AMAZING ride. But this band, what a well-rounded flushed out sound they have come to grow into as each individual has honed their craft or joined. And before any of you ask my personal favorite off this particular album is Torch. It's on my On Repeat on Spotify for a reason--but I digress...that brings me once again to Lonny.

Lonny Eagleton

Who is Lonny Eagleton you ask? Well, he's a sweet boy from Canada who joined the BVB family, and man does he fit RIGHT in. Well, his website Bio boasts he's a professional musician who has worked with multiple recognizable names in the industry, that he's done his fair share of arena/theatre based tours, and a plethora of other hidden talents all backed by a degree. I mean, that's impressive enough but man he is humble and sweet to boot! I don't think I am out of line when I say that the BVB family has scored big with this addition to the band--especially if the "The Phantom Tomorrow", and the latest ep drop (October 21, 2022) "The Mourning" are any proof of what is to come in the future.

Now that brings me to "The Mourning" EP which I am also very late to mentioning (at least here!). It's four tracks of powerful music that speaks from and to the soul directly. Clearly what went into this was some powerful storytelling, some genius mastery, and some amazing skill-work. Dare I say, that the older these boys get--the more they manage to master their craft? But it's true. And being someone from the sidelines watching them grow, has been a most satisfying experience--man am I PROUD to be in this fandom. NOT TO MENTION the totally amazeballs producer they have, Erik Ron who handled this ep and the previous album before this. Way to rock out with that cock out Erik!

Tracklist:

Devil

Saviour II

The Revival

Better Angels

"How the fuck is one so evil left to just proceed? All the luck and how deceitful that idle minds can be." Lyrics from Devil really hit close to home some days, especially if you're currently living in America (and I am). It's clear from the tone set by the melody of the guitars when the track first open-fires on your eardrums for an eargasmic explosion of what can only be described as pure Black Veil Brides energy. Straight from the speakers to your soul, Andy Black truly has a way with words and the boys on strings (Jake, Jinxx, and Lonny) really know how to nail it home and build a mood to a harmonious climactic point before bringing it smoothly back down again. And may I say, that CC has really just been on fire these last few albums? He is really kicking some ass behind that kit and I think it's fair to give him a mention for it.

In softer tones Saviour II was second on the EP and set a more serious and tender vibe. A soul bearing ballad needs to be on every album right? At least that seems to be a theme for BVB that I personally hope never dies. They do amazing with a good somber heartfelt melody and these new lyrics that sort of offer different softer, more human side to the Saviour we as a fanbase were used to. The first being: "So hear my voice, Remind you not to bleed. I'm here." the message being a strong voice offering a shoulder to lean on here. A superhero almost. Whereas, the second, "So I'm trying my hardest to be what you made, Like a court jester, my smile won't fade. Giving it all, rising to fall to my grave. Answer the call, living in thrall-You're the one born to save." Is a tooootally different vibe. Like someone human just trying to make it through each day. So-so so good.

The Revival is the third track on the EP and it unfortunately didn't get a video but is still really cool and definitely worth a mention. It feels like Saviour II worked right up into this song. I'm sure they did that on purpose but I can hear/see a story playing out before my very eyes. Maybe my imagination is running a little high, but they have a habit of writing a whole ass story and following it up with a rock opera--so I am not sure because I looked all over for like a track-by-track breakdown and didn't find one (so if anyone has one and can link one to me that would be sugar and spice!) but nevertheless the instrumentals in this song are fire but from 2:19-2:35 it is just the best musical soup I have ever tasted. There I said it. I can say it. It is hot fire.

That brings me to the final track on the EP, Better Angels. I think instrumentally, and melodically, Better Angels may actually be personally my favorite track. Lyrically it is one of the coolest things I have ever heard. I came from a really strictly and very strangely repressed religious background and when I hear the stories told in these songs tied up in some sort of religious metaphor it really resonates and I know I am not the only one in the fanbase that is dealing with these issues. "Go back to hell with all your demons-leave me alone to find the pieces inside my mind. They came in to control my life. And all the devils devour- Your better angels devour." Whether it comes from a religious place or not, that is a pretty fire chorus, you have to admit. Not to mention the absolute MELTDOWN I have inside my head when the guitars (2:35-2:50) fuckin slap my dudes! I am telling you, if you haven't heard it already, please do--your life will be more complete because of it. It's one of the prettiest things I have ever heard ringing in my ears.

Really can't wait to see what Black Veil Brides has in store for us next! I mean between the comic-book, the album, and the ep, I'm already pretty stoked and I literally have no fuckin clue outside what Andy has mentioned in recent interviews! But I will be keeping my eye out! you bet!

Also before I go please enjoy this acoustic set I found on Youtube.

SUPPORT YA BOIS:

http://facebook.com/blackveilbrides

https://twitter.com/blackveilbrides

https://www.instagram.com/blackveilbrides/

[venkman-and-rookie]

Merry Christmas!

(Venkman): Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone! It’s me! The world’s best looking Santa Claus, Dr. Peter Venkman!

(Rookie): And me! Rudolph the Red-Nosed Rookie! (I mean... “Rudolph” isn’t my real name or anything...)

(Venkman): We’re here to deliver to our dear friends their Christmas presents. have you been naughty~? Or nice this year? Let’s see what’s in my ~magical~ bag!

(Venkman): And first up I-I-I-It’s Raymond Stantz [ @stantzy ] ladies and gentlemen! 

(Venkman): Well, well, well! Lucky you Ray! Despite the various health and safety violations your pet crabs have caused by infesting HQ, Santa Claus decided you’ve been a good enough boy to warrant a present! 

(Rookie): Next up is our favorite parapsychologist, Egon Spengler! [ @spengy ] 

(Rookie): Congratulations Doc! You’ve been “Nice” this year, so Santa brought you 5 boxes of Ghostbusters branded Twinkies! Don’t eat them all in one sitting!

(Venkman): Who’s next? Why, it’s Winston Zeddemore! [ @you-and-me-always-forever ]

(Venkman): Ooohoo hoo hoo~ some fancy schmancy cologne from... Versace~ Maybe you’ll finally get a girlfriend, Winnie~, the nice lady at the perfume counter said that “Love, Passion, Beauty, and Desire” were the key elements in this cologne so, maybe it’ll give you that little extra boost, huh? *chuckles*

(Rookie): He’s got wit, he’s got heart, but most importantly, he’s got our tax details! I-I-I-It’s Louis Tully!

(Rookie): Wowie! It’s Super Mario Bros. 2! This’ll go great with the other game Janine got you for your Nintendo! Make sure to let me borrow it too! Sharing IS caring, you know. 

(Venkman): Following our superb tax accountant, we’ve got Janine Melnitz! [ @ive-quit-better-jobs-than-this | @janine-whatdayawant ] Our beautiful and intelligent secretary who certainly deserves a raise, but will not get one anytime soon (sorry).

(Venkman): It’s an ugly sweater! Or cardigan to be exact. Another to add to your collection, but be careful! It’s dry cleaning only! Or at least, it sure looks like it, not sure you want little sparkly things in your washer and dryer. 

(Rookie): Oh! Look who’s next Venkman! It’s Dana Barrett [ @dana-is-nolonger-insana ] , don’t you wanna handle this one?

(Venkman): Eh.. well, I... look, there’s a little note in there from me, so you can just handle it ok? 

(Rookie): Uh, O-ok! Well, here’s Dana’s gift, for the very talented cello player herself! 

(Rookie): A history of the cello CD, first volume! Maybe you’ll learn something new! 

*There’s a note tucked into the wrapping of the present. It reads, “Merry Christmas, Dana. Hope you and Oscar are doing well, don’t get into any trouble without me, ok? Love, Peter.”

(Venkman): Walter Peck. [ @walterpeck​ ] A big, fat, lump of coal, wrapped in non-recyclable plastic and dumped into the Manhattan river. Go get it, chump.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Rookie): Woah! Looks like we’re going to use some ~Christmas Magic~ and go to the future, to visit the future of the Ghostbusters!

(Venkman): Hey Callie! [ @callie-spengler ] Hope you don’t mind passing these presents onto Trevor, Phoebe, and Podcast, we can’t stay too long to be honest. Time fluctuations, butterfly effect and all that jazz, science stuff y’know?

(Venkman): For you, Callie, some expensive Dom Pérignon champagne! For those nights when the kids are just too much, or for a special night with Mr. Grooberson, perhaps? ;-)

(Rookie): Phoebe, [ @pheebs-es ] the girl genius is next! 

(Rookie): For you we have a mint condition PKE meter! I know it’s not as cool as your grandpa’s PKE taser thing, but we thought you’d enjoy it nonetheless! 

(Venkman): Trevor, you’re up kiddo!

Now, I know this may not be... exactly what you want but cut your Auntie Mickey and Uncle Peter some slack! We’re from the 80′s, ok? We don’t know who’s popular or who’s “hip” and “happening”, all we know is that Doja Cat has some “boppin ass songs” and kids these days like her. Give it to me, yuh, or... whatever you say.

(Rookie): And finally, it’s time for Podcast’s [ @mystical-tales-of-the-unknown​ ] present!

(Rookie): As a new Ghostbuster, we thought it’d be great if you got your own copy of Tobin’s spirit guide! Now you can read up on some of the ghosts and entities that we’ve fought! (and will fight, I guess!) The info in here might even save your life one day! 

(Venkman): Oh, and there WILL be a test on the materials in this book.

(Rookie): What test? Oh, Venkman! Don’t scare the kid!

(Venkman): Aw, don’t be such a stick in the mud, Rouke, it’s just a little joke! Anyways, that’s it from us! Remember, the Ghostbusters are having a Holiday deal, 15% off on all busts! And from “Rudolph” and I...!

(Venkman and Rookie): Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and have a Wonderful New Year everyone!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ooc: Hello everyone! I tried to include everybody, but if you’d like to get a “gift” from Venkman and Rookie go ahead and give me a message or send an ask! I don’t wanna leave anyone out, of course! And as said before, Have a happy holiday season! or if you don’t celebrate these holidays, have a nice rest of your day!

[specialmindz]

“Sans, take your brother and go to sleep…need to put the croceries away…”

          “uh, pops?”

          Gaster handed Sans a bag of what was left of the groceries, exhausted. There HAD been more, but Papyrus had decided to throw most of them into Hotland’s boiling magma as a “sacrifice” to the “volcanic gods of Mt. Ebott.”

           “NYEH HEE HEE HEE!”

          “Sigh…”

He wasn’t even supposed to leave the lab…

          “dad you’re putting paps in the fridge.”

          “KI-ET SNAS! Dis where he keep da’ milk…”

          “you know babies drink more than-DAD!”

          CA-THUNK!

          “ME HEE HEE! I OUGHT IT SNAS!” cried the baby bones, his voice muffled from inside the fridge. “I OWES IT CAUSE’ DA’ CONTAINER FEEL LIKE A IZARD!”

          SCRITCH, SCRITCH, SCRITCH!

          “CAN YOU HEAR THE IZARD BIG BUTHER?”

          FUMP!

          “HEY!”

          “sorry bro, gotta put these…three bisicles, away. also, don’t scratch on the milk carton, it’s bad for your fingers.”

          “Dis MY milk and I does what I wants with it!”

          “it’s everyone’s milk, not just yours.”

          “NO!” Papyrus spread his little arms and legs out to block Sans from the fridge. “Dis MY milk, go sweep!”

          “i’d love to go to sleep, but first i need to put these away.”

          “Well dat’s very un-for-tun-ate for you big Buther, cause’ I don’t plan on moving out the way. I’ve decided dat dis gonna be my new room. Is close to da’ food AND the milk. Very efficient.”

          “oh yeah? and what about your toys? where are you gonna put all your toys pappy? that’s an awfully small fridge…”

          “Well I’m an awfully small baby, besides...” Papyrus reached down and pulled out a block of cheese.

          “are you kidding me with this?”

          “We both know dis all I need right here.”

          “what about air?” asked Sans, deciding to stuff the bisicles into the freezer. “do you need ai-ewww, papyrus what is that?!” he pointed towards a bowl of…something, not caring whether or not his brother could actually see it. He couldn’t hazard a guess as to what he was looking at, but there were a few clues that told him the baby bones was probably responsible; one of them being that he recognized the bowl as one he’d use for cereal, which meant this thing was DEFINITELY homemade.

          “Daz baby’s food. Not for you. Is like cookie dough, cept’ is not made of cookies.”

          “it’s got meat in it!”

          “Dat’s cause’ is not made of cookies…is made of meat. Meat and milk. Lots of nutrients in there. Lossa proteins and normal teens and calcium and-”

          “stop. stop right there. what do you mean ‘normal teens?”

          “Sometimes is hard to find new puppies.”

“new pup-is this more of your puptart crap?! i asked you not to do that!”

          Those poor dogs…

          “Is not puptarts stink head! Puptarts go in the brave little toaster! Dis Puppydough! Is like cookie dough cept’-”

          “except it’s made of meat, i got it! it’s gross papyrus!”

          “YOU NOT EVEN TRY IT!” shouted the baby bones accusingly. He quickly returned to his smile. “And you’s not GONNA try it…cause’ is mine. My ice cream. Not for you, sad, but true. You can has the Dog Salad...”

          “are you seriously trying to make me jealous of this…?”

          “Try not to get any of yo’ jelly in my noms Snas. I prefer my eats to taste like victory, not your depression-”

          “ALPHYS, PAPYRUS IS BEING AN ASSHOLE!”

          “PAPYRUS IS ALWAYS AN ASSHOLE.”

          “I’M NOT TALKING TO YOU DAD!”

          “You tell Babybop! You tell Babybop and Daddy and even Dirt-Butt, they all gonna side with the baby! They see mah dough and they probly think, ‘Wowie! Dat baby so talented and smart! Only a genius baby would think of mixing milk and meats! If only I had been nicer to sweet widdle Papyrus, then maybe I could have some of dat Puppydough…”

          “*pfft!* is that how you think that’s gonna go?” Sans chuckled despite his disgust. “iiii think you might end up a bit disappointed then pappy. i personally wouldn’t touch that to throw it away.”

          “You won’t touch it cause’ I told you not to.”

          “heh heh is that right?”

          SHINK!

          “WOOOAHH! where’d you get that?!”

          Papyrus narrowed his eyes at his brother whilst clutching a switchblade in his tiny fist. “Black babies always armed…case whitey wants to rumble. Nyeh? NO! NO DIS MINE! IS MIIIINNNE! MIIIIAAAHHHHH!!! NYEHHHHHHHHAAAA! NYEH-HAAAAAHHHHHH!!”

          “sorry bro, but you’re the LAST person who needs a switchblade-”

          THUMP THUMP THUMP!

          “heeey, now you know better than that-”

          “NYEHHHHHHHH-HAAAAAAAAA!!!”

Wailing loudly, Papyrus kicked the inside of the fridge with even more ferocity than before while his brother tried to keep things from tumbling out onto the floor.

          THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP, THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP!

“HEY, WHO’S KICKING THINGS UP THERE?” shouted Gaster angrily.

“HE TAKE MY DOG-OPENERRRR!!! NYEHAAAAAHHHHH!!!”

          “SANS WILL YOU KEEP YOUR BROTHER QUIET? YOU HAVE ONE JOB!”

          “papyrus stop kicking the fridge…also get out of the fridge.”

          “I DON’T LOVE YOU ANYMO-HORRRRRE!!”

          “yeah, sure you don’t.”

          Drama king.

          I can’t wait till he grows out of this.

          …

          …

          God I hope he grows out of this.

          “I JUST WANTS TO EAT HEALTHY SO I DOESN’T GET FAT LIKE YOU-HOOOO! JUST CAUSE’ YOU CAN’T FIND HAPPINESS DOESN’T MEAN YOU GOTS TO TAKE DA’ BABY’S!”

“lemme know when you’re done, kay’? imma go throw this away or something.”

“YOU CUSH MAH DREEEAMSSS!”

Walking towards the elevator, Sans paused only slightly to consider maybe throwing the blade into the lava pits of Hotland, but in the end, he decided against it walking into the Nursery instead. Papyrus didn’t need a knife, he was dangerous enough as is, which could only mean he had taken it from someone else…someone who ALSO didn’t need a weapon, seeing as everyone used magic.

Monsters with weapons are always bad news. Papyrus must have run into a really bad person who planned to use this knife as a surprise attack against someone. That’s all these things are good for down here; fighting dirty.

Asgore really needs to put some kind of fence around the Dump or ban it or something. That’s exactly where dangerous garbage like this is coming from, right there.

But that’s not to say it wasn’t useful to people like Sans.

My ATK is so low, I’m pretty much the only person who needs something like this to protect himself. My bro can’t be there for me ALL the time, and I wouldn’t want him to be. The older he gets, the more responsibilities he’ll have to take on, and eventually I’ll become a burden. He doesn’t mind protecting me now; he’s a baby, he has nothing better to do, but one day…

Sans took a few swings with the knife.

“Nyeh? Snas what chu-no. Nuh-uh. Give me that. That’s not a toy.”

“p-papyrus..?”

Using his wingdings, Papyrus took the opportunity to take the blade out of his surprised sibling’s hand.

“hey i need that!”

“Why? You want to end up a little punk like me?”

“huh?”

“Well I’s very flattered big Buther, but the answer is ‘no.’ Nobody like a copycat ya’ know? Also, how you gonna weave baby crying in da’ fridgergator?! You wants me to catch a cold? You weave the door open too! I could’ve fallen out and broke my widdle head-”

“papyrus-”

“It’d be like Humpy Dumpy.”

“bro-”

“Dead baby. Egg yolk erywhere.”

“would you listen to me?! i need that knife!”

“What for?”

“for protection! i only have 1 atk…”

“You’re not gonna need any protection other than me until you’re eighteen…and given your personality that too is a shot in the dark.”  

          “what does that even mean?!”

          “Means ‘no.”

          “DAD, PAPYRUS HAS A KNIFE!”

          “SHOCKING.”

          Sans glared down the hallway.

          Alright…

“ALPHYSSS, PAPYRUS HAS A KNIFE!”

          “SWING WITH RESPONSIBILITY PAPYRUS,” replied the young girl from another room.

          “SERIOUSLY ALPHYS? DOES NO ONE CARE THAT THIS BABY HAS A KNIFE? HE’S USING IT TO KILL PUPPIES!”

          “Nyeh? What chu talkin’ bout’ Snas? I not make dat Puppydough.”

          “you already admitted that you made it papyrus!”

          “No I didn’t! Is made by puppies…like the spidie doughnuts. Dat’s where I gots da’ idea! Is made by puppies, OF puppies…”

          “it’s gross!”

          Not that I believe you.

          “IT HELPS DA’ ECONOMY! You know how diffi-cult it be to be a baby in Snowdin?”

          “you’re not SUPPOSED to be in snowdin-”

          “The snow be deep as hell big Buther, and the doody dogs leave their doodies erywhere. They gets covered by the snow and then cute babies such as myselves steps in them.” Papyrus lifted up his foot. “Today I’s wearing the baby booties cause’ I go shopping wit Daddy. No shirt, no shoe, no service Snas; but OTHER times I’s in my onesie and I get the brown feets-”

          “then wear boots all the time or don’t go out. killing these dogs is not the answer baby bro, It’s wrong.”

          “But it IS the answer Snas! Dis not the only bad thing they do! Sometimes they pick up the baby.”

          “…what?”

          “They bite down on baby’s skull and they picks me up! They picks me up and they run around and I’s like, ‘PUT ME DOWN DOODY DOG! I’S TRYING TO GET TO DIRT-BUTT!’ and they’re all like, ‘WOOF!’ and I’s like, ‘YOU STUPID DOG!’ and they’re like, ‘WOOF!’ and I go ‘IMMA KILL YOOOOOU!”

“…”

“…There dis one dog dat be useful dough. You remember Long-Neck? He carry the baby waaaay up high; the big peoples be using him to get crystals from the ceiling.”

          “wait, magic crystals? Are you talking about magic crystals?”

          That wasn’t good. As desperate as the Underground currently was for power, Sans didn’t want the false stars on the mountain’s ceiling to disappear. It made him sad to think of all the wishes people had made on them over the years being turned to powder along with them.

          All of HIS wishes…

“Yep! Is got me thinkin’ too…I could use a high dog like dis to get to the sparklies you wants. I could do that Snas. If dat stink ceiling weren’t in the way, I could reach those sparklies and maybe even visit the moon…”

“my wishes…”

“…?” Papyrus looked up at his brother in confusion and then smiled, realizing what he meant. “Don’t worry big Buther. I got chu. I tell the peoples collecting that if they don’t weave the fake sparklies in Waterfall alone, THEY gonna be my ice cream. Yo’ wishes be safe like the womb.”

“uh…thanks.”

I think.

          His baby-isims are so creepy sometimes…

          …

          I wonder though…

          “hey bro, do you have any wishes?”

          “Nyeh? Wishes? Nyeh heh hee hee hee! What I gonna wish for? I’s just a baby! A baby lacks petty big people ambitions and obsessions. All we needs is some toys, love, a cwib, and lossa nutrients.”

          “c’mon pap, there’s gotta be something that you really really want and can’t get on your own. everyone’s gotta wish like that, I know you’re no different.”

          “No different hm? Kay’ then, I wish you’d stop asking me so many personal kestions.”

          “personal questions?”

          “Mm.” Papyrus nodded. “I wish you’d stop asking me personal kestions and stop playing with sharp objects.” And with that, the infant crawled out of the room, all the while making a mental note not to pull weapons out in front of his silly brother again.

Sorry about the wait...and the short fic; like I said on AO3 (and not on tumbler like I should have) I’ve decided to focus more on Fonttale 3 since every time I make these it takes a month and then I wind up with no time for the main fic. So far with this method I’ve managed to finish another chapter and a half, so things are going well.

As compensation for taking so long, here is a special tip (though hardcore Undertale fans may already know about it), messing with the SAVE file like you would to find Gaster in the main game will also allow you to find Papyrus’s Puppydough...and if you screw up the Horror Font has a few things to say unlike everyone else who simply says “Error”

Papyrus’s Fight Error: THIS IS AN ERROR MESSAGE. REALLY!!!

Papyrus’s Puzzle Error: Error, Pepibs. (probably a rendition of bepis, an inside joke Toby inserted into Undertale usually meant only for hackers to see...though they too might never guess it’s a synonym of “penis.” Toby uses it in place of curse words sometimes. Basically, Papyrus is saying “Error, fuck.” in a quiet voice which I personally find hilarious as it completely breaks character).

Papyrus’s Troll (remember the good ol’ days when Undyne was looking to murder you and Papyrus took it upon himself to work together with Flowey to screw you over? Back when he’d call you and ask you what you were wearing and then no matter WHAT you said, WHAT you changed into afterwards, or HOW many times you reset, he’d ALWAYS “accidentally” give her the right info? Pissed you off too didn’t it? Well guess what? There is in fact a way to give them BOTH the finger. If you recall, Undyne isn’t a fan of Temmie Village, she even tells you where it is so you can avoid it. That being said, she doesn’t know shit about Temmie armor including what it looks like. You know where I’m going with this right? Hack your file and pop that shit on before you get that call to effectively piss off Team Cute Truth and get this message):

 HELLO! THIS IS PAPYRUS!!!                                                                        HOW DID I GET THIS NUMBER...?                                                                  IT WAS EASY!!!                                                                                                    I JUST DIALED EVERY NUMBER SEQUENTIALLY UNTIL I GOT YOURS!!!    NYEH HEH HEH HEH!!                                                                                SO...WHAT ARE YOU WEARING...?                                                        I’M...ASKING FOR A FRIEND.

Yes        No

(Picked yes)

SO YOU ARE WEARING A BEPIS....                                                             GOT IT!!! WINK WINK!!!                                                                               HAVE A NICE DAY!

Obviously this immature call was Flowey’s idea, which is understandable since he’s a child AND the one doing all the legwork just to tell Papyrus you’re wearing something Undyne will never recognize. Nothing like revenge colder and more disgusting than the spaghetti your “friend” left outside in Snowdin, am I right?

Papyrus’s Toolshed (If you get into Papyrus's toolshed by manipulating save data, reading the note will result in this message): WHAT!? THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE.

Mortal Enemy Request ( As this comes right after Napstablook's friend request in Hotland, it may have happened as a result of rejecting the request. In the final game, the friend request rejects itself regardless of your choice and don’t worry, the request isn’t from Papyrus, lol):

METTATON has sent you a Mortal Enemy request. Congratulations! You are now Mortal Enemies with Mettaton. COOLSKELETON95 has posted a comment on this change. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU TWO! WISH YOU A LONG AND HORRIBLE RIVALRY. You rejected the request. METTATON has sent you an invitation to "Die." RSVP? Respond Ignore

Another small apologetic gift you may find interesting... You remember the guy from room 272 right? The inaccessible room?  It’s also known as room_water_redacted if you don’t recognize the name. When you get closer to this guy he fades, and, when spoken to, says "* [redacted]" in Wingdings. This NPC represents one of two theorized sprites for Gaster and you can see why...it looks like his face has melted off though his body looks fine. "Premonition" plays in this room too by the way. If you leave through the south exit, you enter the sound test room, room 270. One of the four playable songs in this room IS "Gaster's Theme" and when the protagonist attempts to exit the room, the game crashes (big surprise). If the protagonist chooses to play "Gaster's Theme," they can select no other song.

Why am I mentioning this?

Well, among the lines for the garbage dump and Napstablook's house, there are a few lines implying there was a horse stable somewhere in Waterfall and that’s not all, look at the message.

* (It's a horse stable.)

* (Do you want to go&  inside?)        

Yes         No  

* (You jostle the door.)

* (It's locked.)

* (Suddenly, from inside the [redacted], you hear a

Interestingly, we're hearing a noise from inside what is supposedly the horse stable, but for some reason, whatever it was is replaced with "[redacted]", and whatever it is that we hear at the end is just outright removed (I’d say that it’s weird that the stable ITSELF was removed, but with no disrespect to Toby mind you, it looks so bad when it appears in-game you’d half-expect the video about it to be trolling). This dialogue seems to be triggered by a trash can that appears in Napstablook's courtyard for some reason. Inspecting it if flag 92 (one of the unused ones) is less than 3 will cause the same figure from room 272 to appear inside the stable, and say “*x”

In Wingdings.

To be frank and funny, it’s possible Gaster somehow got himself locked in a horse stable and ended up cursing when we showed up holding the key to his escape. Granted, “*X” isn’t a curse word, but if you recall, Toby doesn’t curse in his games and Gaster, like Papyrus, doesn’t put an * next to his sentences, which is something even Alphys did in her notes found in the True Lab. It’s a looong stretch seeing as it’s only two symbols, but I still like to think he’s keyboard mashing the word “shit.” XD

I hope this made up for the lost time and the time I’ll be taking to focus on Fonttale 3. Damn, I started this post at 12:00 something and now it’s 2:48 pm...see this? This is that bullshit I’m talking about.

Can’t shut the fuck up when I write...

[artist-x-j-roman-cain]

Joker’s Wild

My name is super-unknown so I will shoot for the dome Aim through the window pane; leave two frames blown I am not Strange. But I will not change tones Proclaim Roman Reigns in any home Entertain through tomes Enter veins then splinter brains Highest on this sinner plane Center plain or inner sane? No. A soul so cold not even So Co Could help warm; dealt thorns Some have sworn tales, yelling “He’s loco!” “Si y yo soy el lobo feroz” Ferocious flows; ojos rojo Toke and choke on top rank dodo Coca blows? Mi es cabron? Oh no! Blow Coca? Por dinero? Best go hoe! Yo soy Joe Schmoe? Asi-asi? Si puto derecho! Direct foes, “vete a la mierda, conos”! Artista X es el Rey de todos los Reyes Sooth-sayer and smooth player Granuja de platas de lengua Ladies spreading legs, begging me to say yes. Weigh less than many but don’t call me mini Not one to waste pennies Immobile blades, not choppin’ on 20’s Mobile stays paid; minutes got plenty No cash in the bank; gas tank close to empty Yet more retail sells in smells than Scentsy My girl is a fine dime that OG’s envy Eyes green, hairs red plus always wet and sticky Ever leaving; burning and hitting like a heathen But she keeps returning Even after pimping her out for earnings Yearning for touch; by lips or finger tips She’ll learn you quick; bi so no bias when she unzips She flips all day but still chills at night Herb Knight in hempen armor Helping get over bored again Charming prints, used to disarm alarms Prince Charmin to soft; armaments’ armed Minced off the first cut; rinsed off like shit stuck to shoes In truth, I like going overboard and harming Like Carmen, no one knows where to find me Moving timely; double check nobody’s behind me Grinding to shine even when it isn’t Vision remastered after seeing how biz went? To guzzle gents jizz for cents Rather stick a muzzle in my mouth Than ever be asked where my fizz went Dissident miscreant because of medicinal Treants Gorgon like stoning; after all spinach is full of nutrients Beautifully bent; fine line between genius and insanity Underhandedly taking the lead; never mistakenly Make me your nemesis; own worst enemy to y’all I am limitless Illogically break chronological fate with paradoxical Genisys Forget Quicksilver; Wells wished in inventing this Luxury Mercury? Have H.G. mad as a hatter for penning this In lieu of Carrol; songs full of apparel Only autos should be tuned Putting hair pulling bitches on alert Better be careful Have them pissing; scared to twist up fisticuffs Baring tools; afraid to get face to face But I’m very cool; only thing up my sleeve is an Ace Thumping with my trump; then use the same spade to bury fools Joker’s wild; and I’ve been told the same Smoker’s smile plus a laugh cold and insane Broken stiles; never hold a flame to gain change Opening Styles all about showing up the Game At the Helm with a death wish like I’m hunting a hearse DRAC is the realm’s realest; still instilling hurts Curt versus legends or virgins; using perverse verses to abuse With no aversion to cursing this rough draft also the final version Shaft tough? Yes, when driven by me Not black enough to say I’m the bad-dest “shut your mouth…”, you see Keep it juicy; not goosing Lucy Truthfully I’m a prick spelt with a capital D Biggest you’ll meet; and above average in meat No need for lies; I know I satisfy Don’t believe me honey then come and see Relieve your cunny, have you cum a sea Endless returns like it’s my company Charge your Chakra; currently cum for free Currency for free milk? Then you can go ahead and get stepping permanently Ash into your urn Every sentence further sentencing eternity Hurting disconcertingly Adverting attacks; not possible when concerning me Genuine article Smashing particles like the Hadron at CERN discerning Emcees Splitting atoms While batting back at’em; scat’em like a cat. Kill every vermin I see Shivering cowards While stylishly delivering streets sermons for fees River of power That is, a strong flow with undertow current; currently Amped up Have them clammed shut; in bomb shelters like the emergency Is national But it’s natural to run urgently when faced by the beast from the murky deep Heard of me? Or been hurt by me? Try me when unworthy and meet A brief defeat By these feet. So take a seat or be beat down vertically Post mortem surgery Quicker to dig six one by ones; bury you very dirtily Curtly asserting Your curtains but far from my encore that’s a certainty Unmercifully Murdering psyches with words alone. Spurring the weak To purr back meek Lying while trying this Lion; King of Zion. Tired of burping these Babies and toddlers Going crazy searching for grown talent; licking talons and fangs thirstily Unnerving these Kids; knowing their lids will get peeled. Villain killing purposely Have curs cursing me Speaking cursively, curbing cohorts. Quit if your nursing teats Hyperbole Not when measured in pen; sink non-thinkers with ink poisoning Vent venom vehemently; little girls and boys playing with alloys Should quit banging noise My thoughts and voice concise Eyes on the prize; ions spliced off and thrown at my enemy’s head Radically rendering your ending; lending the term walking dead Stocking meds by the O-z From North of the O.C. Only importing the best, from Valleys’ in Cali to Co-towns alley’s G-13 and Maui Wowie The Doctor’s in Get re-T.A.R.D.I.S.; needing starting? Got Diesel too if you need to rally Tally the score Weighed straight, bud and not shake with proper tear drops; plus, I don’t dilly dally True wild card; evolved in being involved in anything called sin My balls’ in court never Alcohol in blood no more; instead soar above but feet still on the floor Claws in the ground This is my town. Come down sounding hard and I will leave you scarred With the loss of your crown Scalpel scalping. And if the laws in the Mudd come around? Still won’t be found. Proper noun; capital Artist using absurdly sharp wit for getting capital Known for ripping sharks to bits Sparks will arc; marked by X then know next your neck Will be stretched regardless Of your guards. I'll march right through your gardens. Embrace mayday Because by melee I have been hardened Leave them marveling at my carvings which cause starving Hungry but not eating beef; these freaking vegans are retarded Believe it’s better to give than receive Seas get wetter from here; forever in gear Achieving whatever I can perceive Seize vets ahead of my years; too clever for peers Deceiving none, yet some sectors still don’t bet on me Sieges settled in letters; vendettas never feared Easing at leisure; proceeding on with no etcetera Seasons become bygone; seasoning legions of chickens so long live Cain, King of Weird Erecting a dynasty Weapon selection is free form daggers called forth from the Nether Injecting arsenic Martial arsenal; impartial to arson. Coolly pulling the lever Irreverent to me Intellectual elephant and elegantly eloquent. Resisting transistors Close circuit Verdict shows consequences for the inoffensive; tethered to weather through endeavors On attack like a shredder Chipper sure as this plot runs redder Splendor found in splinters Cheddar made grating big cheeses Donning black and green Stripping clubs; beating pussies together Surrendering before being engulfed in embers Hand over your tender or be berated by Poetry, mixed with soul of the street Wholly complete when competing against the elite Never miss a beat; a capella teller Fellas that think they can swell up; one hell of whale tail Shelling out pain on the jealous Overzealous never. Well prepared with an umbrella Real life, not a telenovela Jotting rotten embellishments; relishing propellers developing yellows Punks pissing themselves when warships need worshipping Blood, sweat and oil mix Until the ill contents become flammable And all the malcontents Bow out; knowing good and well I’ll damn a fool Or a damsel If you think you can lay hands on me; your delusions are fanciful Panty puller Revealing fraudulent broads; inflict wounds that will require some gauze from the gods At odds with society Believe working a desk is a probity And I’m a writer Some consider a prodigy My odyssey cementing my property Foundation laid in Don't play pretend; make fake men Or women Shed their linens. Hollering no apologies; now follow me Make a joke out of any lesser F-5 force like Lesnar. Why so serious? Uncrowned underground jester Bound to pound the pavement With your cranium; straining some with that statement One truth inevitable Julian sliced in way that was absolutely unforgettable Unintelligible Little bulls should quit being foolish before getting whipped cool and made edible Cannibal but not named Hannibal Mechanically distributing electrically compressed waves To enslave your ladies Into behaving like a cowgirl; riding this bull and craving these testicles Undressing tools Cunning tongue; expelling fantasies for sensational pull Lessons blessing illiterate fools Honeys’ dribbling from touch so much they create literal pools In Sin City I rule Will not pity the drooling class; passionately fashioning Jewels Fastening dull blades To this mental lathe to gain edge; allegedly dredging up the typical Satirical lyrics searing spirits Phantom fandoms abandoning idols idling when I crash tidally Spiritually binding Ritual sacrifice; decisively knifing as if practiced on the habitual Basis. Run races never. Pace to slow. Basics way below. Spacing pros with tasteful prose Also slaying joes Embracing complacency only stagnates; changing notes lead to growth Flaying bros even Must stay on toes or fade; daily dough made by not taking a doze I only dose With Mary. Quite contrary to hoes bickering about which nose I’ll be sniffed through Some into inducing rushes via sphincter Keep your stinker away Couldn’t be helped with a bleaching tincture Suffering puncturing For lunch bringing nothing but punch and knuckle sandwiches Damn bitches. My hands twitching, itching to do ditch digging for snitches with no steel brandished Have no advantages Loose leaf my canvases. Not afraid to get scandalous; know y’all cannot handle this Gargantuan tarantulas Manhandled like tea candles as I dismantle men easier than destroying a mandolin Banding in Only amplifies the likelihood of meeting a random end Ranting and rambling Gambling when I'm done that you won't be able to keep ambling Knock you out in your sandals when my spit hits like an Ambien Watch me trample them; sampled but never sampling Entranced with sin Dancing in and out after romance ends Lancing them then off to the stands again Slanted bantering Can offend but also bend inhibitions; renditions of wishful visions and being the one granting them Dammed if dim Stranded in damages; can't get cantering, this Cancer managing Standards that can spin Rabidly rapid; static shock and awe. Addict not dropping off. Elaborate pens Radically pin backstabbing bastards; infinitely outlasting Simultaneously lashing Latching on with a firm grasp. Grabbing and toe tagging then afterward bagging them Meet my jagged friend Egging on until calm is Gone with the Wind On to win That is, magic tactics Exacting backward grins as in upside-down frowns Should I explain that again Batting bad men with a racquet like it’s badminton The raconteur bracket designed for the rhymer in his prime; letterman jacket Personally fitted Custom colors; clique unaffiliated but true Paid dues for these suede shoes Ensue wrath, crossing paths with me. Be phased through. Displace you Vibrate at a rate that frequently frequencies disintegration Blazing you with phazers set to stun Yep son, better run because here I come to erase you Each and every angle will be tangled with Break both ankles Then add in the mad tendency to strangle Take your Angel and go Jangle out the last bit of blood. Lots of love for being painful. But just be thankful Only got your bank; sank like the Titanic. Hitting like an ice cold tank; you're a lukewarm row boat frozen exposing you're shameful Wordsmith, perfectly working an anvil Not a man to steal; but guarantee I can and will Drop your body in a landfill Stop talking, get to walking; gawking awkwardly At the oddity who stands steel Resolute in Will; if looks could kill Mine would; shooting villain’s long as I am still in Adrenaline pumping; dumping loads of shit. Here’s the damn deal Entrepreneur Grade A manure; never has there been a truer Entrees pure Bade losers farewell; after a push down the stairwell Never been surer Any assurances weren’t accounting for me and my allure Got your cure For being average; lock you in a fridge and drop you off a bridge. Got the top rung secure And I haven’t been on tour Demure nature? No. Bigger ego than Troy McClure Stopping simpletons, pop them like pimples Catching them in the temple; listen as the song of a fat minstrel ends Stenciling by pencil Lengthy dismissal brought about by drizzling In a million missiles These difficult insults leave individuals’ pissed; the gist is: their coined phrases aren’t worth a single nickel Series: X Sin-to-Mint Artist: Artist X (Justin Roman Cain)

[yahoo-puck-daddy-blog]

Metro Division picks, NHL gimmick team (Puck Daddy Bag of Mail)

NHL

You have my word that I will not be doing any more White House/Penguins stuff for a while, even if the Penguins keep coming out and saying wrong, bad stuff about it. There’s nothing new under the sun with these guys, as far as this subject is concerned, so that’s the end of that for a while.

Also, I don’t know if you guys noticed, but the season starts in less than a week, and college hockey starts in two days. So let’s just do questions about that so I don’t end up screaming at my monitor for two hours straight again ha ha ha ha ha.

The good news is people whose lives haven’t been ruined by Politics Twitter have plenty of questions that need answering, and as a smart genius I have all the answers.

So let’s go:

David asks (among several questions) via email: “We see a lot of stats that evaluate individual players (e.g. corsi) – are there emerging statistics that can evaluate configurations (e.g. pairings, linemates, deployment)?”

Well we’ve had WOWY — with-or-without-you — stats for a long time. If I’m not much mistaken, Hockey Analysis pioneered them, but now they’re generally available on sites like Corsica (coming back soon!) or Natural Stat Trick, and probably a few others I’m forgetting.

How telling these stats are can be a little disparate. If you go on Natural Stat Trick and click on, say, Mark Giordano’s page, you can click around and see who he played with or against, and all kinds of stats — like corsi, goals, scoring chances, etc. — for just about any situation. And as the WOWY name suggests, you can look at these numbers for those players together and apart, showing how much of an impact playing with, say, Dougie Hamilton has versus playing with, say, Dennis Wideman. The same is true of evaluating what happens when he’s matched up against Connor McDavid or Daniel Sedin.

But when you start to slice and dice these things, I wouldn’t be too comfortable making broad pronouncements. If Ryan Getzlaf has a low shooting percentage matched up against Giordano (and he didn’t score a goal against Calgary with Giordano on the ice), you have to keep in mind that it was only in 44 minutes of ice time. Very small sample. Tough to know how sustainable these things are with any certainty, except to say that obviously you’re going to want to match your best defenseman against the other team’s best center.

I wouldn’t be too comfortable making a pronouncement about a player’s ability to shut down opponents or drive performance without like 500 minutes of 5-on-5 TOI head-to-head, and that’s just simply not going to happen in a single season. So you use your best judgment.

Where WOWYs might be useful is if, in evaluating a second- or third-line player, you see that he consistently makes his teammates better, or consistently outperforms opponents’ depth players, you might want to bump him up in the lineup and see where that gets you.

Thomas asks: “Who is going to win a Cup first, Vegas or Arizona?”

Obviously the answer is “neither any time soon” but right now you’d have to say, even if it’s on a fluke, that Arizona is closer to a Cup. They simply have everything set up already in a way Vegas doesn’t and can’t.

I said a few weeks ago I think they’ve improved a decent amount this summer, and they still have a healthy prospect pool, a farm system, and all that. Meanwhile, you know there’s a 50-contract limit for organizations? Vegas only has 40, and that’s with all but 11 guys on their current NHL roster — including LTIRs — on expiring contracts.

They’ve signed some guys, drafted more than their normal share, but even if every one those guys become NHLers — and they absolutely won’t — there’s still not enough NHL talent there for the team to be reliably good within even three or four years. At a minimum, if everything goes exactly right — and it absolutely won’t — Vegas is five years out from being meaningfully competitive in any real way.

That’s not a knock on them, it’s the reality of the situation. Even with this, the NHL’s lauded “best expansion team ever,” you have to remember one thing: Expansion teams are awful for a really long time, and most of the first crop of prospects they pull are past their primes by the time the team is any good.

Brendan asks: “With Bouwmeester out for the start of the year, is Jake Walman going to be able to fill in for the Blues?”

He’s probably going to have to, so it’s not a matter of being able to. The good news is Walman has all the tools to be successful in the NHL, though maybe not, y’know, right this second. He’s a left-shot D who moves well and shoots in volume. That, however, is the kind of thing you can say for a lot of 21-year-olds coming into the league.

I know he occasionally drove his coaches crazy at Providence College with his on-ice approach, which resulted in a lot of goals for the kid himself (20 in 66 games from the blue line over the last two seasons is nothing to sneeze at) but a few headaches as well.

I like the kid as a player. I think he’ll be an NHL talent for a while. But right this second? I’m not so sure. Use him on your bottom pairing and second power play unit and you might have something, but any bigger role than that and you’re playing with fire.

Tom asks: “How do you think the top five shakes out in the Metro this year? Do they send four or five teams to the playoffs?”

I think right now I’d go with the Pens (gap), Caps (gap), Rangers and Jackets (gap), and Hurricanes in that order, with the possibility that New York and Columbus flip-flop.

But there are a lot of what-ifs here.

Columbus is, I think, about the same as they were last year in terms of team quality but they’re not going to get that shooting percentage so their points will thin out. You honestly don’t know what Henrik Lundqvist provides. The Penguins are maybe about the same if Matt Murray can stay healthy. The Caps took a clear step back. Carolina’s entry here is qualified with, “If Darling is as-advertised” which is tough to say for sure because he’s never been a starter and Carolina hasn’t had good goaltending in forever.

So, I reserve the right to change my opinion, but that’s where things stand on paper.

Zach asks: “With Florida forsaking progress in analytics, is it up to Arizona to essentially write the book on analytics in player evaluation?”

At this point, most teams have analytics people on staff and use them to drive decision-making to one extent or another. The Wild hired most of the crew from War on Ice a few years ago, the Penguins took the other one, Carolina leans heavily on Eric Tulsky, Toronto has a bit of a war room, etc.

So pretty much everyone does it, but not everyone abides by what the data tells them, which I guess you’d mostly expect, right? I think it’s fair to say there’s no purely “analytics-driven team” in the NHL, and probably there never will be. Even with Florida and Arizona getting the reputation as Computer Boys, they were still making decisions that sometimes had stats guys shaking their heads (and moreover, I’m not sure if the stats Arizona is using aren’t a good mix of the real stuff and snake-oil).

Point is, all this is here to stay, even if some Old School Hockey Guys are gonna grumble about it.

Matt asks: “You’re making a gimmick team where every player’s surname starts with the same letter (ex: Bergeron, Burns, Bishop) what letter do you pick?”

I love this question! And I think you have to go with M, like, without even thinking about it, don’t you?

Here’s a quick lineup I put together off the top of my head from players whose surnames begin with M:

NHL

The defense is a little thin and I had to play fast and loose with some of the wingers but that’s a team that probably doesn’t lose too many games on the goaltending and center depth alone.

Keep writing in!!!

—

Ryan Lambert is a Puck Daddy columnist. His email is here and his Twitter is here.