#and since it is hard to meet ppl its like 'we're in this together' but i dont always want to be

[phagodyke]

weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<

[asteroidzzzn]

more than just a dream - spark, 004

pairing: college!ellie x reader

synopsis: you transfer to a new school where you only know one person; your childhood best friend. he invited you to a beginning of the year party to meet some new people, but one person, in particular, catches your eye... his other best friend.

a/n: dina bonding time!

genre: social media au, fluff

series masterlist -- previous chapter -- next chapter

bria 🧚

hey!

dina 💋

hi whats up? :)

bria 🧚

im bored and everyone else went out but i dont feel like drinking rn..

can i come over?

i know the two of us arent super close but this could be our chance to bond outside the group 🤞🤞

dina 💋

omg ofc!! i was feeling the same i just wanted to chill and stay in today 😭 but ya come over whenever

bria 🧚 ❤️ a message

we can watch mission impossible if ur into that!

only if u bring snacks...

bria 🧚

U HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IVE BEEN WANTING TO SEE THATTTT OK im omw now ill put the best i have in a bag 🙏 cya!!

dina 💋 ❤️ a message

bria 🧚

hey dina, sorry i had to leave right away

i have to study for the first unit test later today

wish i didn't, this is so boring

how are u?

dina 💋

im fine

good

im good im great actually

but i really think we should talk about it

what happened last night

bria 🧚

later, ok?

sorry

i need to go right now stepping into class

dina 💋

oh ok, bye :)

dina woodward

hi y/n im literally going insane r u free to talk

y/n

omfg 😭 whats going on

dina woodward

you'll never believe what happened last night

y/n

ughhh i wish i was there! sorry i wanted to stay in to get some sleep, i have a test next period

dina woodward

oh no worries i actually stayed in too so this isnt ab the outing

do u know who bria volentas is?

y/n

yeah i do!

shes really nice ill sit next to her in history in a few minutes actually

dina woodward

oh 😭😭😭 i wanted to talk to u ab this bc i thought u were the only one in the group that didnt really know her

can u keep a secret? just need to get this off my chest

y/n

u can trust me :)

dina woodward

sooo... ive had a crush on her since the dawn of time

y/n !! a message

and we hung out last night alone!!

y/n

!!AWEEE yall will be so cute together i can see it now

dina woodward ❤️ a message

also im so glad u said that bc i wasnt ab to be the one to com eout first 😭😭

dina woodward !! a message

dina woodward

YOUW AHT?!?!?!?!?!?

i didnt wanna assume but i secretly knew.........

y/n haha a message

y/n

🤝🤝🤝

OKOK GET ON W UR STORY

dina woodward

we were watching mission impossible bc ellie ditched me (i wont forget) and she goes 'im cold' so bc shes the actual loml i let her under my blanket

y/n

awwww

dina woodward

then our feet kinda touched then our hands kinda touched and we were getting rlly close... then we fucked

y/n

AHH????

that went from 0 to 100 sO FAST

dina woodward

I KNOW LIKE IMS TILL SO IN SHOCK RN

y/n

SO YGS ARENT TOGETHER YET THO?? HAVE U TALKED AB IT ALL??? FYB? ONE TIME THING?

dina woodward

IDKK I HAVE NO IDEA

this is the average wlw experience i say while dry heaving and crawling onto the roof and howling

y/n ❤️ a message

y/n

LMFAOOO it literally is tho we have it so difficult

dina woodward

HELPPP ME AND BRIA ARE IN CHAT RN BUT WE'RE NOT SAYING ANYTHING

SPEAK UP WOMANNN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

i said i wanted to talk ab last night and she was so avoidant so she BETTER say something rn

y/n

yall rn

lurking in chat.....

dina woodward

😭😭😭

i need to be distracted rn

eye starts twitching

tell me smth thats going on w u

y/n

ok u trusted me w ur crush so i can trust u w mine right..

dina woodward

ofc ofc

y/n

so u know her actually like really well from what i know

BLEEEH I HATE TELLING PPL I LIKE THEIR FRIENDS

is ellie williams gay..

dina woodward

take a look at her what do u think

yes she is gay! AND U LEIWFAGJEDFANJ YOU LIKE HER??

y/n ❤️ a message

y/n

angels harmonize and descend from heaven

BLESSS 🙏🙏

yes i like her... i think. its been hard to like anyone since my last relationship but im feeling rlly hopeful about us

im heavily delusional tho she was prob just being friendly when we hung out

dina woodward

she recently broke up w her ex too, and shes been kinda staying away from relationships :(

ur amazing tho youd be so good for her

if she acts like a bitch to u ONCE run

y/n

damn jesse warned me ab her too 😭 what happened with her and her ex? if u know or if ur ok with telling me

i know its not really my business

i just wanna know what lines i cant cross

dina woodward ❤️ a message

dina woodward

yeah i totally get it

i actually dont know all the details

i think she only told jesse bc theyre way closer than me and her

if u want to know everything, id ask him or get it from ellie herself

just get closer with her and she'll tell u everything, and u can decide what to do from there

y/n

ok , thats a good idea

ill just use my amazing charm and incredible beauty to captivate her in chemistry

dina woodward ❤️ a message

dina woodward

HEHEHEHE

speaking of,, she sucks at chemistry. u could get closer to her by tutoring her if youd be up for that?? shed appreciate it sooo much

y/n

#1 wingman award is presented toooooo dina woodward!

dina woodward ❤️ a message

ill def talk to her ab that ill be like heyyy u need help 💋

shit gtg now, test time!

dina woodward

good luck!! with the test and ellie🙏

y/n ❤️ a message

a/n: a lot longer than the last chapter!! but i had a lot to say in this one :D love in the future for my girl dina!!! love to see it

hope u enjoyed as always (✿◠‿◠)

taglist: @ximtiredx @gold-dustwomxn @elliesinterlude @fireflyels @trulygnomed @deluluwh-0-re @toesorhoes @elliewilliamsmissingfingerss @emluvselandabs @ariianelle @jokerpokimoon @lonelyfooryouonly @lil-elliesgf @yuaaa05 @ourautumn86

[polyamorousmood]

Thoughts on dating a mono person as a poly person?

My gf, s, is mono n im poly. When we first started dating i had already been dating another poly person, x. S was uncomfy with the poly aspects but said she didnt mind dating me while i was dating x so long as i didnt really talk about it to her, ig since i was dating x first.

X and i didnt work out for separate reasons and me and s are still together, but she is 100% mono, and im not.

Ik we wont be together forever bc were quite young and the chances of that are slim, plus i dont think id want to marry someone i started dating so young (which she knows and more or less agrees with me about). So ik the "problem", if it even counts as one, isnt permanent.

I enjoy me and s's relationship but the poly-ness of me are like "but new and different ppl too please?" I like variety, and have interests that she doesnt enjoy (like kink especially). Theres no one in particular im interested in rn outside of s, but if there were to be she wouldnt like it or be comfortable with me acting on it...

Idk if it would come down to "be poly with other ppl or be mono with me", but idek how to broach the subject with her or if i even should rn since it's not yet relevant.

Sorry for the rant lol, what do you think?

Bluntly, I think you're stressing too much for a relationship that already has an expiration date lmao

If its something you think you'd like for the time frame you're with S, I think its reasonable to be like "I'm not looking right now, but if I did meet someone else I wanted to date, how would you like to handle that? Would you still just not want me to mention it?" but it is likely to be an EXTREMELY uncomfortable conversation if it was a don't-ask-don't-tell policy with the last person. I would stress that its not a big deal right now, but if something ever came up, you'd want to handle it in the best way possible to not accidentally hurt S. Try to get ahead of how you think S might react to this conversation. Whether that's "I don't mean to make you insecure, but I just wanted to make sure we're clear about...." or whatever, but if you're going to say something, acknowledge going into it that it will be hard for her.

I generally think any style of relationship can work, given the right people and common understanding. It is very hard to reach an understanding with someone who isn't able to frankly discuss the situation, but I've seen workarounds, so 🤷‍♂️

Just live your life. If you're as young as you're making yourself sound, you're gonna fuck something up somewhere along the line, and that will be okay. Do what you can, with the energy and knowledge you have, and that will have to be enough. Even if it wasn't "right".

[awsugar]

lol I feel you about dating apps. I have really really horrible anxiety about putting pictures of myself online (I literally only post selfies on my priv Instagram and only let close friends follow it) I’ve had this anxiety ever since I was 16 and im 24 now and still have it so I doubt it’s going away (and frankly in our current era of stealing ppls photos and deepfakes and shit I don’t even think it’s that paranoid tbh) so it’s basically impossible for me to use dating apps but it’s so hard to meet people once you’re out of college that I feel like I will have to use them one day unfortunately :/ but I mean, there’s literally a tinder subreddit where people post people’s profiles, that’s so anxiety inducing and people don’t even consent to be posted on there……idk it’s such a nightmare especially for me but I don’t see an alternative. I wish we lived in a world where irl interaction was more encouraged but unfortunately I see things going even more online post-covid

ahh ok see i dont really have any issue with putting pics of myself online but i do have anxiety about the pics of yourself part of it bc literally every photo of me from the past however many years is just a selfie i took in my bed. i literally cant start using a dating app until i have pics of me that dont have my rolling stones and fob posters behind me lmao. i understand your fear though, especially having your profile reposted somewhere and made fun of like. that would be sooooo horrible and life ruining to me. i dont think anyone wants to make deepfakes of me but i guess its a possibility.

it really is SO hard to meet people unless you already have friends who introduce you to people though. i had a falling out with my two irl best friends in early 2019 and them plus their family members/friends were the only people i hung out with so when we werent friends anymore i literally had no one, and no one to introduce me to new people obviously.

i feel like a lot of people meet partners and friends at work, i mean one of my exes i met because he was my manager. but ive been back to work since june and i talk to people at work and im friendly but i havent met anyone yet who is around my age and wants to hang out or anything. i think everyone thinks im a fucking weirdo lmao.

but i agree with you, i totally hate that we have to use apps to meet people not or we're screwed. im like that asap yams tweet. my swag cant truly blossom on imessage. i feel like it works way better when you're forced to be around someone cause you work together or go to school together and then you like become friends and then start flriting and develop a relationship naturally. it feels so awkward to me to like start messaging someone, KNOWING that the intent is to make them like me. idk. just not my preferred method. and you're right about covid pushing it further in that direction. ugh i hate it :(

[youknowhereihide]

A Letter to My Old Self

Hi, it's been a long time since last time I wrote long message or----idk what should I call it as a letter or what. Past few days I had rough day. There's lots of things happen at once but I still processes one thing but sadly another thing happened at the same time. U know, it makes me going crazy and messed up. But I consider it as a cause of lost focus that I had these days. (Tmi: lots of time I really can't get into one topic and a chit chat with ppl, Its more like I had my own world and daydreaming all day like real crazy girl)

Oh as I said on this title post, I will say something to my old self bcs I had read lots of message and it really touched my heart (((that deep)))

First, I'll said that "De, even you had rough love story but that doesnt mean you're worthless" So much things popped out on my head, especially once I falling in love then it will turn bad bcs that man will never recognized me like,,,, forever. I hate it bcs WHYY SHOULD BE ME. I wanna shout and say that pls if I this will be sad end then please don't let my heart fallin to you. But yea, you can blame it on me, dude. That's me, who lets my heart fall for something unreasonable. The thing is, I might just falling for idea of him, not for what he is. But this case is different bcs... I feel like I know him a lot and I regret it everyday bcs of unreachable feeling. Maybe that's my fault for not struggle that hard for him or simply we're just not meant to be together. I think that this destiny really makes me crazy. Tho I still cannot believe that this is really happen.

I will tell to my old self that, you're doing good on your journey even your way maybe so rough and bad but one day I know that something will worth to wait, worth to fighting for, even right now, when I write this post, I still don't know what will happen to me like.... Who the hell that man I'll marry in my future. Bcs once I meet someone that I thought I need him forever in my life, but ended up he marry with my friend. It makes me so clueless for what, who, when I'll spend my life together with.

Oh god maybe I look like a crazy one but now, I had a men who really makes me feel something. I mean, finally for long time I can feel how butterflies in my stomach. Flowers on my days. Bubbles on garden. And any other beautiful thing o couldn't mention. Sadly, that man named Jun from China is that man. You can call me crazy but I am. I'm so thankful for him to just existing and breathing I'm like..... God thank you for your beautiful creature, I really love him that much. Will I meet one man similarly to him?????

Maybe one day

Okay, I'll end this drunk letter for now and thank you for reading. I could understand if u didn't really get what I just said here bcs I really had no edit for this writings. I just typing it as what my mind said and the words are flooding and floooow in this post. Okay, see you next time. This song is for u.

Seandainya

Seandainya

22 July 2022