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gastricpierrot · 1 year ago

Text

Title: Make it better

Series: Honkai Star Rail

Relationship: JingHeng

Rating: T

Warnings: this was written before the 1.4 update and also dh's companion quest so uhh there might be some inaccuracies

Summary:

It has taken many months for Dan Heng to come to terms with it, but Dan Feng was not defined solely by his unforgivable crime aboard the Luofu, nor could he be held fully responsible for Dan Heng’s childhood of imprisonment. After all, what weight could a deceased man’s wishes possibly hold when he had already been irreversibly condemned in the days leading to his death?

Thus sparks the next question: what sort of person had Dan Feng really been?

As fate would have it, the one person he could very well ask now happens to be within reach.

Also on AO3

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“...and why are you asking me this?”

Dan Heng crosses his arms, doing his best to come across unfazed by the aggressive puppy-eyed looks Caelus and March are giving him. He leans away when March pushes closer, his core muscles working hard to hold him steady.

“Because!!” she says, a bit too loud for the mere handspan of distance between them. “We’d really love to have Jing Yuan on board for a while!”

“But we wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Caelus adds, gently tugging March back by the shoulder before Dan Heng could stumble from tilting too far back. He sure sounds calm and collected for someone who looks like they’ve been silently begging Dan Heng to say yes, please say yes ever since entering the room.

Dan Heng knits his brow, averting his gaze. “If there’s already a majority vote in favour of it, then—”

“The consensus is that he does not set a single foot onto the Astral Express until we get the okay from you!” March insists with a stubborn puff of her cheeks. Dan Heng’s frown deepens as he wonders how had the situation ended up like this. Though the answer is probably Caelus and his simple enthusiasm in wanting his new friends to have a taste of what the Express offers, it’s not that difficult to guess. If Dan Heng was one to prefer keeping his safe space all to himself, Caelus sits on the other end of the spectrum, always eager to share and show off his sources of comfort.

Dan Heng knows, of course, the actual reason why everyone is so adamant about getting his consent in particular when it comes to the guest in question. Calling his relationship with Jing Yuan “complicated” might be a gross understatement, he must admit. It’s been nearly two years since their mission aboard the Luofu, two years since Dan Heng was forced to face a past he’d been desperately running away from for over a century.

It’s been two years since his past greeted him not with the terrifyingly sharp edges of a shattered blade for once, but instead the gentlest smile filled with deep, unimaginable sorrow.

Dan Heng does not like the way Jing Yuan looks at him. He hated the undying expectation, the longing that threatened to crush him with all the weight of a bygone past. He is not Dan Feng, will never be Dan Feng. Though his flesh and bones may be the same, though they might share the same face, the same voice, perhaps even the same soul, at the very core of it all—Dan Feng is no longer here.

That’s how it should’ve been. Dan Heng did not understand why then, had his heart ached the way it did upon his reunion with Jing Yuan.

Sure, he remembers him personally sending him off on the day of his exile, and he knows he must’ve been the one who’d liaised with his master in a faraway planet to care for him and help train him back into fighting shape to defend himself from harm. He’d hidden Cloud Piercer within his supplies as well, and he’s probably also the one who slipped in a few extra books knowing the familiarity would help comfort him during a journey into the vast unknown. For these, Dan Heng is infinitely grateful.

But that still does not mean they should be more than simple acquaintances.

Truth to be told, Jing Yuan’s presence scares Dan Heng. All his hard work in dissociating himself from his predecessor, in convincing himself that he is his own person and all the experiences that define him, no one else—feels challenged whenever he is within Jing Yuan’s proximity. Why does he always experience inexplicable emotions in his presence? Why does part of him mourn for him, why does he have such intense urges to pull him into his arms and hold him, hold him until whatever’s keeping his old soul hurting fades away into nothing but a distant memory?

Where do the lingering traces of Dan Feng within him end, and where does Dan Heng begin when it comes to all these feelings?

Dan Heng has spent much far too long pondering over such questions, and even now, he’s certain he wouldn’t know what to do even if he ever finds the answers.

For the longest time, Dan Heng loathed Dan Feng for the fact that he had to bear his punishment. Some venerable High Elder he was, letting his next incarnation—nothing more than a child—shoulder the consequences of his sins. How cruel, selfish and shameless he was, to cause a child to grow up knowing only the confines of darkness and the unyielding pain of cursed stakes pierced into his flesh.

Yet contrary to all of these, all the suffering he had inherently brought him, Dan Feng also seemed to have been very loved. Many echoes at Scalegorge Waterscape spoke fondly of him, reminiscing his kindness, his warm heart, his sacrifices. Jing Yuan has never stopped loving him even after hundreds of years, and maybe, just maybe, that meant something.

Thus sparks the next questions: what sort of person had Dan Feng really been? What exactly had led to his rampage and what was the sin he’d committed that made the entire Alliance attempt to erase his feats from history?

Dan Heng had steeled himself to search for some answers himself, but all recorded material he managed to get his hands on were vague at best. The Xianzhou seems to have worked extremely hard to keep the actual sequence of events under wraps, which only confused Dan Heng further because why? Was it a matter of saving face? Had Dan Feng’s actions really brought so much shame to the Alliance that they would rather he stayed being known as nothing but a traitor for the rest of history despite all he has done for them?

It did not sit well with Dan Heng, somehow. He could not exactly pinpoint why it was so, but there’s something uniquely frustrating about knowing that he didn’t know nearly enough.

And as fate would have it, the one person he could very well ask just so happens to be within reach.

“...Dan Heng?” March prompts, her concerned voice tugging Dan Heng out of his thoughts. He blinks back into attention, not realizing how long he’d spent spacing out. “You can take your time thinking it over, you don’t have to answer us immediately.”

Perhaps Dan Heng really has spent far too long with his current companions, because his decision is entirely too spontaneous even to himself. But he also knows that if he doesn’t act now, he could very well remain hesitant for the rest of his life.

So he takes a deep breath, squaring his shoulders. “Sure, Jing Yuan can join us if he wants.”

xXx

And so, an emergency spring cleaning ordered by Pom-Pom and a warp jump later, it was time for the Arbiter-General of the Xianzhou Luofu to board the Astral Express.

Upon Jing Yuan’s insistence, it’s to be an extremely simple affair. The Express pulls in at one of the Luofu’s countless docks, and Jing Yuan will be there waiting for them.

And so he is. Alone. No Cloud Knights sending him off, no Master Diviner Fu to make snide remarks and assure him that the Luofu will be fine in her ever-capable hands even if he decides to leave for good. Jing Yuan stands alone at the platform, dressed in loose robes and a single bag slung over his shoulder, as he waits for the Astral Express to come to a stop.

Dan Heng has a growing suspicion that this might actually be part of his secret plans to sneak off without being noticed, but he promptly decides that’s none of his business.

The crew welcomes Jing Yuan with a shower confetti as soon as he steps through the carriage entrance. Specifically, March, Caelus and Pom-Pom does—and Dan Heng too, after being somehow persuaded into joining them. Which means he’s standing rather close to Jing Yuan when he comes in, and he gets to see the way his eyes subtly light up with delight even from something as silly as their childish greeting.

“Thank you for having me here,” Jing Yuan says, genuine excitement bubbling under the surface of his composure. He nods in greeting at every present member, his gaze seeming to linger on Pom-Pom just a little longer than the rest. He then lifts up the crate of freshly handcrafted drinks he’d been carrying with one hand. “It's my sincere hope that you would all accept some Immortal Delights as a sign of my gratitude.”

“Oh, General, you didn’t have to!” March is quick to say but even quicker to circle around their guest and eye her prize with glee. Dan Heng bites back a sigh as he reaches to tug at her sleeve, a silent plea for her to remember her manners as Pom-Pom steps forward to suggest settling down first before Jing Yuan goes around getting to know the other passengers.

“No, no, please allow me,” Jing Yuan insists as he places his luggage on the nearest couch. “These taste the best when fresh, so do enjoy them at your soonest convenience.”

And he proceeds to personally distribute every cup of milk tea he’s brought with him, each ordered slightly customized to suit the Express crew’s individual tastes. Dan Heng knows this because he was the one he’d texted a few days prior asking for advice. Himeko’s drink is more coffee than milk, while Welt’s should’ve been made with a special brew of tea that’s rarely on the Sleepless Earl’s menu. Pom-Pom’s has grass jelly instead of tapioca pearls, March’s is topped with an extra piece of bunny-shaped pudding, and Caelus’ contains soy milk instead of dairy.

“I got you the standard drink but less sweet,” Jing Yuan finishes with Dan Heng. He tilts his head slightly to the side. “Hope it suits your tastes?”

“It should be fine,” Dan Heng replies evenly, making sure he’s got a proper grip on the cup before Jing Yuan lets go. “Thank you, General.”

Jing Yuan’s eyes narrow into gentle crescents when he smiles. Dan Heng resists the urge to shift his feet, instead opting to avert his gaze and take his first ever sip of Immortal’s Delight.

It really does taste amazing, the milk and cream carrying a pleasant mouth feel and the slight bitterness of the tea balancing out the decadence of the brown sugar syrup. The tapioca pearls are cooked to chewy perfection, adding an extra layer to the drink’s sensory experience. Dan Heng isn’t usually one for sweet things, but even he can immediately tell why this particular beverage is so popular aboard the Luofu. He thinks he might have to skip dinner after finishing it, though.

“Passenger Jing Yuan,” Pom-Pom eventually totters over, saving Dan Heng from the pain of awkward silence between himself and their new guest. Their cup of milk tea looks extra large in comparison to their size. "On behalf of everyone on the Astral Express, allow Pom-Pom to once again welcome you aboard, and to express our highest gratitude for the super yummy drink!”

“Think nothing of it, Master Conductor,” Jing Yuan assures easily with a wave of his hand. “It’s the least I can do to repay your generous hospitality. If you need help with anything, please feel free to let me know.”

And that’s how he captures Pom-Pom's heart, the first out of all of them. Or maybe Pom-Pom's standards have simply hit a new low after Caelus and March, considering that all it takes for them to pick their new favourite passenger was Jing Yuan being extremely willing to help with even the most tedious chores.

Though in their defense, Jing Yuan does tackle chores like he’s on some sort of life mission, always putting the utmost effort into seeing his tasks through until the very end, no matter how mundane they are and how much he’d whimper about his aching back afterwards. Perhaps it’s exactly this sort of normalcy that he hopes to seek, everyday matters that could never fit into his life as an Arbiter-General. Things that most would take for granted by default, never needing to even consider otherwise.

Dan Heng just doesn’t think he should spoil Caelus and March quite so much by always offering to do their share of chores too whenever they don’t feel like it. Caelus especially is notorious for his avoidance of any sort of cleaning, and Dan Heng knows he’d just casually leave everything to someone else the moment he has the chance. It would not be ideal to always let him get away easy.

But Dan Heng’s opinions are only his own in the end, and Jing Yuan only ends up solidifying his position as another’s favourite in no time.

He gets along exceedingly well with Welt and Himeko as well, often engaging them in pleasant chatter that could last for hours on end. Always knowing what to say, how to react, how to keep their conversations going, even when they hardly have anything much in common. He speaks to Himeko about coffee blends as though he’s been an enthusiast his whole life, discusses with her music recommendations for the phonograph playlist like their entire journey on the Express depends on it. With Welt, Dan Heng has walked in on them feverishly brainstorming the next arc of Welt’s current work in progress together on more than one occasion, their notes manic scribbles in different colored ink filling the papers strewn across their shared desk.

Jing Yuan is like a sun pulling people into his orbit, fitting in as easily as he breathed. He’s gentle and approachable, highly dependable when it matters. Trailblazing missions have gone smoother than ever before whenever he participated, most troubles they encounter dealt with without leading into a planetary-scale crisis. It’s as though he was always meant to be one of the many puzzle pieces making up the Astral Express. Himeko, ever the romantic, would surely call this a fated homecoming.

Dan Heng, despite his own reservations in the beginning, finds that he’s gradually beginning to appreciate Jing Yuan’s presence too, subconsciously easing into the sense of safety he never fails to provide. After his life of constant paranoia in being chased down and hunted, Dan Heng always finds himself inadvertently plagued by a certain tension whenever he’s on a trailblaze mission. It doesn’t help that half his current companions are magnets for trouble—and suffice to say, it's nice having another person he’s fully confident he could rely on should anything go awry. At the very least, Dan Heng now feels that he can breathe a little easier when they’re out and about.

“You’re still awake.”

Is the message that greets him after he picks up his buzzing phone. A glance at the clock makes him realize that he’s gotten too engrossed with updating the data bank yet again.

“So are you,” he texts back, moving to save his progress on his computer while he still remembers. Jing Yuan’s reply comes just as he’s closing his tabs.

“Was just getting some water ( ´ ꒳ ` )” There’s a brief pause before his next message. “Can I drop by?”

“Suit yourself,” Dan Heng answers without thinking, his habitual leniency with Caelus and March biting him in the ass at the worst possible timing—and the regret immediately sets in. He's always preferred talking to Jing Yuan through texting if he could help it, feeling much more comfortable without the constant weight of his expectant gaze. Jing Yuan is always too bright, too eager, too...overwhelming. Too good at throwing Dan Heng’s composure off kilter with barely any conscious effort.

There’s no time for Dan Heng to backtrack, unfortunately, soft knocks sounding from his door while he’s still trying to pull himself together. He can only frantically stamp down his panic and dive behind his usual mask of apathy, making sure it’s staying before he goes to let Jing Yuan in.

Jing Yuan stands in the hallway holding two glasses of water and sipping from one. The front folds of his robes are slightly loosened, granting Dan Heng a hardly obstructed view of his bared throat and collarbones. His mane of grey hair is in even more tousled chaos than usual, falling all around and over his face and almost covering even his normally visible eye. He smells like he’s been sleeping too, his unique musk mixed in with the scent of his detergent and shampoo emanating from his being.

“Hey,” he greets, and Dan Heng furiously prays to the late Akivili that he isn’t blushing.

“How may I help you?” he manages to sound normal somehow, accepting the glass of water Jing Yuan offers him with a nod of thanks. He takes a careful step back, but Jing Yuan doesn’t seem to have any intention of entering his room.

“March says she always gets sleepy whenever I’m around,” is all he says as he tilts his head and offers him a lazy smile. “So I'm trying it out on you, Dan Heng. Is it working?”

Dan Heng bites back a frustratingly well-timed yawn. “No.”

It would’ve been nice if Jing Yuan could at least pretend to not notice his lie. “Great! It's about time for you to go to sleep, it’s getting exceedingly late.”

Dan Heng pointedly glances away, lifting his glass for a mouthful of water. “...Is that all you’re here to say?”

“Mm, while I still have some sleep in me? Yes.” Jing Yuan halfheartedly covers his mouth with the back of his hand as he lets out an enormous yawn. “Get some rest soon, A-Heng. Or you might get sick when we warp tomorrow.”

Dan Heng hums, not protesting but not agreeing to it either, but it seems to be good enough of an answer to Jing Yuan. He proceeds to wave him good night, and then he’s shuffling off, his tall figure pale as a ghost in the dimmed hallway as he makes his way back to his room in the neighbouring carriage.

Dan Heng closes his door before reaching for his own light switches, retreating to the warmest corner of the archive where his futon is spread out without trouble even in the sudden darkness. He fully shuts down his computer while he’s on the way, then finally moving to squirm under his comforter and find his usual best position. All around him, the room is filled with the soft beeps and whirrs of machinery that’s always warding off the absolute silence that unnerves him. Dan Heng closes his eyes and tugs his blanket up to his ears, taking deep breathes while counting to ten.

He touches his cheeks, and a tiny groan rises in his throat. He really has been blushing.

xXx

The main rule of thumb to their trailblazing missions is such: do not ever leave March and Caelus unsupervised. March will always be March while Caelus just straight up thirsts for trouble because he thinks it’s funny. Leave them alone and they’re bound to find themselves in one Situation or another. Fortunately for the entire Express crew, everyone apart from those two have gotten extremely well practiced in serving as their brakes after spending all this time adventuring together.

But as Dan Heng eventually comes to find out, however, Jing Yuan is no such brake once he’s gotten comfortable enough. In fact, one could say that he’s the particular duo’s biggest enabler who has ever set foot on the Express.

Dan Heng must honest to Aeons wonder if this is really the hill he wants to die on. Or well, planet, he supposes. They're running for their lives from the law enforcement in a city they’ve set foot in for barely two days, clambering over gates and climbing rooftops and knocking over the closest things within reach to stall for time. All because Caelus thought it’d be hilarious to steal a national artifact for, in his words, a “hidden achievement”. Dan Heng had been against it, like a normal person. Jing Yuan had been the one who planned their infiltration route.

Hooked on the thrill, the lot of them. And as much as Dan Heng would rather not admit, so is he, to some extent. Otherwise he would’ve at least put in more effort into staying out of it after knowing there’s no way to persuade his companions out of their whims.

He only further questions his life choices when he finds himself heaving for air somewhere in the maze of the local sewer system, trying his hardest not to gag from the putrid stench surrounding them.

“Caelus,” he eventually begins, exasperated. “Why.”

Caelus merely holds up his prize and cackles in triumph. “Serves them rig—uegh!”

Dan Heng immediately springs back with all the grace and agility of a spooked cat, putting as much distance from Caelus’ misfortune as physically possible because he cannot handle this right now, he really can’t. He's already trying his best. He casts a pleading look at Jing Yuan in a fit of desperation, silently begging him to be the voice of reason for once because he’s almost certain that Caelus is going this far just so he could impress him.

But Jing Yuan only throws his head back, and laughs.

They're breathing in what must be some of the foulest air the entire city has to offer, probably having completely ruined the reputation of the Nameless from the Astral Express on this planet, and Caelus is currently fighting for his life while emptying his stomach onto the pavement—and Jing Yuan is laughing until he’s tearing up.

No, this isn’t the damn time, Dan Heng silently chastises his backstabbing heart as it does a series of backflips and summersaults in his chest. He's supposed to be the single sane person in this team and he’s going to drag these two idiots back by the scruffs of their necks if he has to and oh. Oh, Jing Yuan’s quieted down and now he’s looking at him.

And his smiling; not the look that has always been tinged by a deep, unrelenting melancholy he has carried for centuries that Dan Heng has subconsciously grown used to seeing, but one that gently crinkles the corners of his eyes and is radiant and warm as the morning sun.

Perhaps this is the first time Dan Heng has seen him so genuinely at ease and delighted, even after he’d boarded the Express. And perhaps this is also the first time he realizes that these feelings stirring in his core are truly his own, not whatever fragments belonging to Dan Feng that had been passed down to him somehow or another. That it’s him, wholly him who’s falling, falling, falling for a man still capable of harboring so much tenderness and tranquility in his being despite all the tribulations he had gone through.

“Goodness, you boys sure know how to have fun,” Jing Yuan marvels, his voice rich with amusement as he finally steps forward to soothe Caelus’ back, seemingly unaffected by the mess the former is making. Caelus, as though blessed by a healing touch, proceeds to finish up his heaving with a few coughs and straightens as though he’s been in tip-top condition this whole while, a sparkle in his eyes as he gives Jing Yuan a reassuring thumbs up.

Dan Heng frowns and crosses his arms, a protesting “I wouldn’t exactly call this fun,” left unsaid but heavily implied. Fortunately for him, Jing Yuan finally decides to get the hint, and he casually proposes to return the artifact to its original place.

Immediately.

As if the entire city isn’t currently teeming with law enforcement bots courtesy of their first stunt.

“That’s precisely why we have to strike now,” Jing Yuan reasons, brimming with so much excitement and confidence that it’s almost contagious. Almost. It’s during times like this that Dan Heng is reminded of the sheer charisma the Luofu’s hotshot Arbiter-General must have. “No one would expect us to go back at this timing!”

Yes, and that's because not everyone can be quite this unhinged. Dan Heng sighs so hard that his shoulders ache, resigning himself to his fate because what else is there for him to do? Jing Yuan and Caelus are already back to business with their troublemaking—and Dan Heng does agree that it’d be best to put the artifact back before they accidentally break it, Aeons forbid. And it’s not like he can possibly let these two out of his sight because who knows what other impulsive ideas they’d come up with on the fly that might lead to even more headaches for him.

He just thinks he might actually need a vacation of his own after this.

xXx

Though he opts to make it look as effortless as possible, Jing Yuan does put a lot of work into trying to bond with the Astral Express crew.

He's always observing the others, mentally noting down whatever they might find interesting or worrying at the moment. If it’s something of concern, he would subtly try to assist, and if it’s something new they’ve found enjoyment in, he’d find chances to chat with them about it.

It is why he spends a good amount of time in the archives browsing through the Data Bank, going the extra mile to do all the research he thinks necessary for him to connect with his companions. It is also how Dan Heng ends up spending a lot of time with him in actuality, both of them holed up in the archive room poring over records for hours on end, sharing a space in relative silence.

Emphasis on “relative”, because Dan Heng is so used to being alone in the archive that even the slightest noises from another could feel jarring to him. The sounds whenever Jing Yuan uncrosses his legs or leans his elbows on the desk, whenever he yawns or scratches his skin—Dan Heng can’t help but be hyperaware of them, especially at the beginning.

But Jing Yuan’s visits are regular enough that he gradually gets used to them, having them blend in with the rest of the background noises from the machinery. It also means that within all of Jing Yuan’s hours upon hours spent in the same room with him, there had been ample chances for Dan Heng to ask what he has always wanted to ask ever since Jing Yuan joined the Express.

What happened to the High Cloud Quintet? What was Dan Feng’s sin? What had led to his sin?

What kind of person was Dan Feng?

They are simple, straightforward questions. Questions that Dan Heng endlessly hesitated to ask, and questions he knew would make the unbearable sorrow return to Jing Yuan’s eyes when he answers.

Dan Heng...cannot bear to see Jing Yuan hurt in any way. It's a realization that dawned on him all too abruptly during one of their recent trailblazing missions. Dan Heng had had his hands full dealing with a swarm of bloodthirsty android beasts hellbent on tearing him apart, on the verge of being overwhelmed by their sheer numbers. His back had been wide open when one of them saw the chance and lunged at him.

And Jing Yuan had intercepted, blood spilling as the beast sank its poisonous fangs deep into his arm.

Dang Heng still remembers the panic, the unreasonable dread that overwhelms him like a tidal wave. Trailblazing missions always have their fair share of dangers; there’s hardly ever a time when they would all return from one without sustaining at least a couple of injuries from inevitable battles. Dan Heng knows this better than anyone.

Yet their fight with Phantylia aboard the Luofu still lingers at the back of his mind to this day, the image of Cloud Piercer plunging into Jing Yuan’s torso scored deep into his memory. Jing Yuan had not said anything thus far, but Bailu had secretly informed Caelus out of concern. The General’s vitality has been compromised ever since the battle, he might not be able to recover from another life-threatening injury. The next time he risks his life, there might be no coming back.

Dan Heng wishes Jing Yuan had a stronger sense of self preservation so he could stop being quite so flippant with his own safety just because he’s already lived more centuries than most of the people he knows. He wishes he had the courage to remind him that everyone aboard the Express would love for him to be safe and sound. That he wants him to be safe and sound. That he’s not sure if anyone would ever be able to recover if anything were to happen to him.

Dan Heng finds Jing Yuan sitting alone in the dimmed parlor car gazing at the ocean of stars in silence, motionless as a statue.

He's already noticed this before, but the lack of armor seems to soften the general’s edges, amplifying the air of a giant housecat that he perpetually carries with him outside of battle. Dan Heng, to his dismay, catches himself occasionally wondering how it’d feel like to squirm into his space, if it’d be as warm and safe and cozy as he imagines. Then it is to his further dismay that he realizes he’s been imagining things that had to do with Jing Yuan.

He clears his throat, partly to indicate his presence, partly to pull himself together. Jing Yuan’s attention flickers to him, his languid demeanor completely unaffected.

“Dan Heng,” he greets, with the usual underlying lilt of excitement that bubbles up whenever he’s speaking with him. Though, there’s a hint of apology in his smile this time. “I’ll be troubling you again today.”

Dan Heng only shrugs it off, taking his place beside him in silence. Jing Yuan holds out his injured arm for him, tugging his sleeve up to reveal his wound.

It’s finally starting to look better, after Dan Heng’s best efforts with his Cloudhymns. They’d been lucky enough to have had a skilled healer among the new comrades they’d met during their latest expedition, otherwise they would’ve had to make an emergency warp all the way back to the Luofu the moment they had the chance to retreat and practically kidnap Bailu off the Alchemy Commission delves to tend to Jing Yuan. He’d been in such a horrible state that even Himeko and Welt could barely assure the others that he was going to pull through. Perhaps if it hadn’t been for Mr Yang slowing down the spread of the poison with his skill, Jing Yuan would’ve...

“How are you feeling?” Dan Heng chases away the end of the thought, refusing to let himself imagine. Jing Yuan is out of danger now and that’s all that matters.

“Hmm. Sleepy, I suppose?” Jing Yuan’s response is nonchalant, a contrast to the intensity of his stare as he watches Dan Heng mutter his Cloudhymn magic and summon a fragment of the primordial sea into existence. Dan Heng purses his lips as he wills the water into a simple blob between his hands, carefully tapping into the innate powers within him to infuse it with the effect he needs.

Bailu, bless her heart, had done her best to explain how she does it. Healing has always been second nature to her, and all she ever needs is a Cloudhymn or two to treat most common ailments and injuries. The poison in Jing Yuan’s body has fortunately been fully neutralised, but the toll from that process alone was deemed to be pushing his bodily limits. The rest of his recovery will have to be gradual to avoid putting even more burden on him, and that is where Dan Heng steps in to help. As pathetic as his every attempt feels.

It’s ironic, how he could part a sea with ease but not heal a simple wound. Of course Dan Feng had not passed down his healing abilities to him. All he’d ever left behind are things Dan Heng would never ask for.

...except for one.

Jing Yuan breathes a contented sigh when Dan Heng’s spell envelopes his injury, his entire body further relaxing against the sofa. Dan Heng is silent in his single-minded focus, only occasionally letting his gaze flicker towards his companion to make sure he’s not accidentally channeling his powers wrong and hurting him instead.

Jing Yuan’s eyes never leave him, that much he can sense with ease. And of course—that's to be expected. Dan Heng has manifested his Vidyadhara form to better facilitate the flow of his qi, once again donning the likeness of the dead man Jing Yuan so loved even after hundreds of years. Of course Jing Yuan would look, would drink in the sight of him while he has the chance. Of course, even centuries after his passing when he should no longer have any right to interfere with Dan Heng’s life, Dan Feng is still—

“A-Heng?”

Dan Heng startles, jolting back into attention with so much force that his form breaks and his spell shatters into haphazard droplets before dissipating into the air. His stomach sinks as he immediately scrambles to check for damage, cursing himself for letting his mind wander. Damn it, he should know better that there’s a time and place to think useless thoughts and he’s so stupid, stupid, stupid—

“Dan Heng,” Jing Yuan calls again, softer this time and with a light touch on his arm. “Relax, you’re okay.”

“You—” Dan Heng curls his hands into fists, desperately trying to anchor himself, “you’re not hurt anywhere?”

“Not at all,” Jing Yuan assures, though a hint of fluster manages to sneak its way into his calm. Dan Heng needs to examine him a few times more before he’s convinced that he’s indeed alright, his mind still reeling from the wave of irrational panic. It is only once he’s certain that Jing Yuan is indeed unhurt, with only his loose sleeves slightly dampened, that Dan Heng remembers to breathe.

“...I apologise. Let’s stop here for tonight,” he manages to say, unable to meet Jing Yuan’s gaze after his truly pathetic display. He makes to get up and excuse himself, planning to shut himself in his room until the next morning at least.

“Please wait.”

Dan Heng flinches. Jing Yuan hesitates in turn, but it lasts no longer than a second.

“I’ve accidentally made myself too much tea,” he elaborates, as though he expects Dan Heng to fall for the blatant excuse. “Won’t you stay to keep this old man company a little longer?”

“I...” Dan Heng makes the fatal mistake of glancing at him. Jing Yuan’s giving him his best pleading puppy look and Dan Heng should really, really be used to this after all the times he’s had to deal with the same thing from March and Caelus. He's not a pushover and he can stand his ground when he needs to.

He slinks into the seat facing Jing Yuan, now wanting to cease existing for a whole other reason.

Though Jing Yuan doesn’t seem particularly interested in pointing out his burning ears, only silently offering him the cup of tea he’s already poured out beforehand. Dan Heng has come to discover his little habit of always pouring out an extra cup of tea, so that it can cool while he savoured his current one. It also implies that Jing Yuan does not handle hot food and drinks very well and Dan Heng doesn’t quite know what to do with the information other than finding it ridiculously endearing.

But that’s for him to feel on another day under better circumstances. Dan Heng currently sits tensed up as he sips on his beverage, bracing himself for a conversation he’s far from in the mood for. Aeons, why did he even let himself end up like this? It’s been one miss after another and maybe burrowing into a hole doesn’t sound like too bad of an idea right about now.

To Jing Yuan’s credit, though, he doesn’t try engaging Dan Heng in any idle chatter at all, truly only seeming to be asking for his companionship and nothing more. The silence between them stretches on, accompanied only by the drone of the Astral Express as it chugs steadily along the Star Rail. Dan Heng cradles his tea cup between his hands, letting the warmth seep into his fingers. Before he knows it, his embarrassment begins to fade.

Jing Yuan yawns, wide-mouthed and unrefined. He tilts his head and raises his eyebrows when Dan Heng meets his gaze, as though encouraging him to say something if he wants to.

It’s no surprise that the Xianzhou Luofu’s Divine Foresight would notice all the questions Dan Heng has never been able to find the right timing to ask, no matter how hard he tries to convince himself that it’s all simply for sake of updating the Data Bank.

“Feeling a little better?” Jing Yuan is the one who speaks first, while Dan Heng is still contemplating how to put his words together. Dan Heng musters an absent “hm” in response.

“...Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about,” Jing Yuan is once again quick to reassure him, but a hint of concern soon crosses his features. “Something seems to be bothering you, Dan Heng. If you’d like, I could lend you an ear?”

Dan Heng truly does not know how Jing Yuan works through his defenses so easily. He does not know why he lets him through so easily. It’s terrifying.

“I cannot help but think sometimes,” Dan Heng begins with a thick swallow, “that if I was more like Dan Feng, then maybe you wouldn’t have...”

“But you’re not,” Jing Yuan interrupts to remind him, his tone firm despite the softness of his voice. “And you’re enough as you are.”

“I cannot even heal your wounds.” Dan Heng stares at his hands helplessly, stupid, stupid thoughts swirling in his head. Maybe, if he had the absolute control over his Vidyadhara powers like Dan Feng did, he could’ve healed Jing Yuan without even blinking an eye. Maybe, if he was as powerful, untouchable as Dan Feng was, Jing Yuan wouldn't have needed to risk his life for him. Maybe, just maybe.

“And neither would I with your wounds, should there ever come a time,” Jing Yuan counters, as if there was ever room for him to make that argument in the first place. “And yet you’re still willing to try for my sake.”

Dan Heng purses his lips, wishing Jing Yuan would stop giving him so much credit for his measly attempts. He’s lacking in skill, that’s all there is to it. It is the cold, hard fact, and no amount of reassurances from Jing Yuan could ever change that in the short run.

“Would you like to know more about him?”

A sudden question, Jing Yuan’s obvious attempt to divert his attention. Yet it’s just the right one to make Dan Heng’s heart skip a beat, perfectly hooking him in.

Dan Heng keeps himself very still, conflict stirring in his chest like a whirlpool. Yes, he wants to know. “No, I don’t need to.”

Unfortunately for him, Jing Yuan once again proves to be unfairly skilled at seeing right through his shallow lies. “I’m afraid I'd only be able to give you a very biased perspective on what sort of person he was, Dan Heng.”

“Jing Yuan.” Dan Heng takes a deep breath. “You don’t have to.”

“Hm?” Jing Yuan tilts his head, feigning confusion. “Don’t have to what?”

“...Remember.” Dan Heng finds annoyance welling up in his throat at the fact that Jing Yuan can manage to look so unaffected by the current topic of conversation. He fiddles with the hem of his jacket to give his rising agitation an outlet. “You don’t have to think about all that’s in the past.”

Jing Yuan’s gaze softens. “Are you worried that it’d make me sad?”

Doesn’t it, still? Dan Heng keeps his silence, not trusting himself to be able to answer in any rational manner. Jing Yuan has obviously been having such a great time being part of the Nameless, gradually shedding some of the invisible burden he’s been carrying as the Luofu’s Arbiter-General for so many centuries as the days went on. He feels freer, lighter, brighter now than the day he’d first set foot upon the Astral Express—and Dan Heng doesn’t want to be the one to take it all away from him.

Again, a voice that does not belong to him finishes. A lingering fragment of the past. He doesn’t want to be the one who takes it all from him again.

“Dan Heng, your kindness truly knows no bounds,” Jing Yuan says, and Dan Heng bites his lip because is it really so much kindness than it is pity? He looks away, hearing Jing Yuan shift in his seat, afraid to see what sort of face he’s making. Afraid he would see how he actually feels.

Jing Yuan sighs before he continues. “You have a point, I’ll probably get unreasonably melancholic if I talk about him even after all these years.”

“Then don’t,” Dan Heng says, barely able to voice it beyond a mumble. His response seems to amuse Jing Yuan.

“It is true that I’ll surely miss Dan Feng for the rest of my life,” Jing Yuan admits, and there’s just something, something in his tone that finally compels Dan Heng to face him once more. “But I also know there must come a time where I allow myself to move on.”

“...and you’ve decided that the time is now?”

Jing Yuan does not answer immediately, instead turning to behold the infinite sea of stars outside. As though the brilliant, unreachable specks of light in the distance hold every piece of his most precious memories. As though, if he peered long enough, he’d find the glimmering halcyon days of his past and return to their comforting embrace. As though if Dan Heng doesn’t stop him in time, he would never be able to bring him back.

“Jing Y—”

He trails off when Jing Yuan’s gaze returns to him, golden and steadfast. Dan Heng senses the million thoughts in his head, unable to even imagine the inner turmoil he must be going through, nor the sheer determination it takes for him to come to his answer.

“Yes.”

Yet above all that, there’s...peace. Acceptance.

Jing Yuan looks at him like he’s been freed, and Dan Heng aches and aches and aches.

xXx

Dan Heng's records of the High Cloud Quintet remain scarce, after he'd deemed that much of the information shared with him was far too subjective to be detailed in the Data Bank.

Baiheng had a ferocious laughter that never faiiled to bring smiles to the others’ faces even after the most draining missions. She was the heart of the group, holding them all together with her boundless enthusiasm, her open adoration for each and every one of them. She would be off on her own adventures during quiet times as a Nameless, and would often bring home with her the wildest stories to tell her two biggest admirers. Out of all of them, she was the one who had spoiled Jing Yuan the most, who never stopped seeing him as her adorable baby brother even after he’d reached his peak and long stopped growing older.

Jingliu loved sickly sweet desserts which Jing Yuan and Baiheng would often exploit whenever they needed to placate her or beg for a favour. She was stern, stubborn as a mule, and had a tendency to try solving all problems with her sword. She was also forthright to a fault, and was always the one to go to whenever objective opinions were warranted. She never showed any favouritism even to her one and only disciple, much to said disciple’s common dismay. One could even say that she simply struggled to be more honest with expressing her affections, though not many dared to linger on the conjunction lest it summoned the Sword Champion herself and cost them their neck.

Yingxing was charming as he was arrogant, his eyes always alight with a borderline obsessive drive to carve his place into the universe while he still burnt bright. His hands were always warm and covered in calluses, capable of creating wonders after wonders even as time greyed his hair and drew elegant lines across his features. He was the most overprotective of the group, often griping about how reckless the long-lived could be when it came to their own safety just because their bodies were marginally more durable than others. Thus he was also extremely insistent about crafting every piece of his friends’ weapons and armor himself, taking pride and comfort in knowing that he’s able to keep them just a little safer, even if he’s not in the frontlines fighting alongside them.

Dan Feng had unexpectedly low tolerance towards alcohol, two cups often all it took to ease him out of his well-practiced mask as the Luofu's Vidyadhara High Elder. Silly jokes absolutely delighted him and Jing Yuan would always be ready with a handful of new ones whenever they had the opportunity to meet. He loved to speak of wistful dreams, loved to sneak away from his closely monitored manor within the Waterscape and roam the Luofu streets in disguised forms.

Dan Heng remembers, from his new dreams, how much Dan Feng had adored his friends, how they had filled his heart to the brim and more, until his love for them was woven into the very fibre of his being, forming the building blocks of him as the person known as Dan Feng. Yinyue-jun was defined by his heroic achievements, his duty to the Vidyadhara—but Dan Feng was his infinite tenderness, his adoration for his precious ones. His sedition had happened out of grief, frustration, despair. He was as human as he had been immortal; pitiful, multifaceted and flawed.

Dan Heng still finds it a little amusing that he would come to liken one of the most noteworthy Vidyadhara High Elders on the Xianzhou Luofu to a human. But he is also rather certain that Dan Feng would’ve taken it as a compliment.

As for Jing Yuan, he’s not too fond of speaking about his younger days, claiming to be hopelessly embarrassed by his own immaturity and baseless gusto at the time. Dan Heng suspects there must be more to it, but he doesn’t see the point in pushing him for details. So he doesn’t.

Besides, he’s decided that he rather prefers to fill in Jing Yuan’s entries as he goes, noting down his own observations of the current him. Jing Yuan’s love for small animals of all kinds, his favourite napping spots aboard the Express. The timing of his video calls with his beloved Yanqing and Mimi that never quite seem to end at times, his little habit of tilting his head whenever he’s questioning something. The little things that never fail to bring his signature sleepy smile to his face, that make him laugh aloud, unrestrained and unabashedly delighted. Even the matters that annoy him, that worry him, that bore him.

The current Jing Yuan is all for Dan Heng to know, to learn while the opportunity is still within his grasp. And Dan Heng, being a trailblazer through and through, finds he’s just as excited to embark on that journey as any.

#jingheng #hengjing #jing yuan #dan heng #honkai star rail #fanfiction #i just think...jing yuan should leave his duties and go on silly adventures to heal..#also if anyone's curious this was actually intended as a companion fic of sorts to my previous jnghng piece hh

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nazmulbd00m-blog · 2 days ago

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#IFTTT #Hollywood News – FNNEWZ

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tdasx · 3 months ago

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Tdasx: Key Factors Influencing the Technical Trends, Investor Sentiment, and Future Price Rebound of Bitcoin

Tdasx notes that the current cryptocurrency market is navigating a complex macroeconomic and market environment. The upcoming rate cut cycle of the Federal Reserve, uncertainties surrounding the U.S. presidential election, and global economic liquidity changes are all having profound impacts on Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies. Simultaneously, the technical trends and fluctuations of Bitcoin in investor sentiment are adding further uncertainty to the short-term direction of the market. Tdasx believes that while macroeconomic policies and market behaviors may induce short-term price volatility, the long-term market outlook of Bitcoin remains deeply influenced by its competition with traditional assets and changes in the global economic structure.

Tdasx: How Fed Rate Cuts, U.S. Elections, and Inflation Impact the Future of Bitcoin Market

Tdasx highlights that recent global financial market volatility and adjustments in macroeconomic policies have significantly affected the Bitcoin market. Major events such as the anticipated rate cuts of the Federal Reserve and the U.S. presidential election are reshaping the market prospects of Bitcoin. Despite market expectations for policy changes in the coming months, Tdasx advises that investors should rationally consider both the short-term and long-term impacts of these macroeconomic factors on the Bitcoin market. The anticipation of a Federal Reserve rate cut has garnered widespread market attention. According to the CME FedWatch tool, the market is pricing in a 30% chance of a 50 basis point rate cut by the Fed next week. Tdasx explains that while rate cuts are typically seen as a signal of accommodative monetary policy, potentially benefiting risk assets like Bitcoin in the short term, this policy might also signal broader economic concerns. Historical data shows that Fed easing cycles do not always result in immediate market rebounds and may even intensify investor worries about economic slowdowns. Tdasx emphasizes that while increased liquidity from rate cuts may boost Bitcoin prices temporarily, it could also introduce long-term uncertainties, particularly in the face of an unclear global economic outlook. Additionally, Tdasx notes that the U.S. presidential election could have significant implications for the Bitcoin market. Former President Trump is known for his favorable stance on cryptocurrencies and his commitment to preserving the status of the U.S. dollar as the global reserve currency. Tdasx points out that while the policies of Trump might positively influence the cryptocurrency market, the actual impact will depend on global market reactions to the status and adjustments of the dollar in international policies. Inflation and liquidity issues also remain key factors for the Bitcoin market. The S&P 500 futures have risen by 1.4% since September 6, largely driven by expectations of future Fed rate cuts. With the U.S. Consumer Price Index (CPI) expected to rise by 2.6% year-on-year in August, indicating a potential slowdown in inflation, this could prompt the Fed to adopt more accommodative monetary policies. Tdasx highlights that the rate cuts of the Fed will increase liquidity, which not only helps to push up prices of risk assets like Bitcoin but may also trigger greater market volatility. Therefore, Tdasx advises investors to closely monitor policy changes in the coming months and to remain cautious when developing investment strategies to navigate market uncertainties.

Tdasx: Bitcoin Technical Indicators and Market Trend Analysis – Resistance Breakthrough and Bullish/Bearish Sentiment Impact

Tdasx asserts that the technical trends and investor sentiment of Bitcoin are crucial to its short-term price movements. Since falling below $53,000, the rapid rebound of Bitcoin to $57,000 indicates that buying pressure is strengthening after a brief correction. However, Tdasx stresses that whether Bitcoin can break through the key resistance level at $58,000 will determine its price direction over the coming weeks. A successful breakthrough could lead to further gains, with a target price potentially reaching $62,000, representing a 10% increase. Tdasx also monitors the premium rate of the monthly futures of Bitcoin. The annualized premium rate for the monthly futures of Bitcoin remains stable at around 6%, reflecting continued strong demand despite market volatility. Tdasx notes that this stable premium rate demonstrates investor confidence in future prices, with market participants generally believing in the long-term upward potential of Bitcoin. Furthermore, Tdasx highlights that the number of Bitcoin addresses with non-zero balances has exceeded 50 million in 2024 and has significantly increased in September. This data is seen as a positive indicator of the long-term adoption trend of Bitcoin, showing that more investors are holding Bitcoin in the current market. Tdasx suggests that as the user base expands, the market foundation of Bitcoin becomes more robust, with future price fluctuations increasingly supported by long-term investors.

Tdasx: Performance Amidst Investor Sentiment Fluctuations

Tdasx observes that analysts are cautious about the future price trajectory of Bitcoin. Despite the rebound of Bitcoin to $57,000 in recent days, some investors remain skeptical about its future performance. They anticipate that the price of Bitcoin may retreat to the $45,000 to $55,000 range, presenting a potential entry opportunity for those expecting a price correction. Tdasx notes that while short-term market fluctuations are influenced by macroeconomic factors, investor confidence in long-term performance remains challenged, especially as the short-term liquidity effects of rate cuts dissipate. Simultaneously, Tdasx identifies a weakening sell-side pressure, indicating a potential upcoming rebound in the Bitcoin market. According to Rekt Capital, the current market sell pressure is gradually diminishing, suggesting that selling forces are nearing exhaustion and investor sentiment is beginning to improve. This phenomenon typically signals a forthcoming price reversal, providing an opportunity for investors to enter the market and potentially achieve short-term gains.

#tdasx

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spacetimewithstuartgary · 3 months ago

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Astronomers await a once-in-80-year stellar explosion

We sat down with Carnegie Science Observatories theoretical astrophysicist Tony Prio to talk about T Coronae Borealis, the stellar explosion that occurs once every 80 years and is due to light up in the coming months.

Q: We've seen some headlines about a stellar explosion that might be happening sometime very soon. Can you tell us what this is?

Tony Piro: This is T Coronae Borealis. It is a binary consisting of a white dwarf star and a red giant star. A white dwarf is basically the leftover ember after a star has exhausted its nuclear fuel and has a mass almost 40% greater than our sun.

The binary is in a 227-day orbit. The red giant is so big that its material is being pulled off by the gravity of the white dwarf. This material forms a disk around the white dwarf. Then, over time, the disk transfers material onto the white dwarf's surface.

T Coronae Borealis is known as a "recurrent nova" system. As material builds up on the white dwarf it gets hotter and denser until it ignites a thermonuclear explosion. This burns the surface material, making a bright event that can last for weeks to months. This is called a nova.

Sometimes it takes tens or even hundreds of thousands of years to build up and ignite a nova. Most novae we observe in our galaxy are like this. One of the reasons T Cor Borealis is special is that its novae come much faster.

This is because the white dwarf is more massive that most, which causes the accumulating material to reach higher pressures and temperatures much more quickly. There are about 10 of these recurrent novae that we know about in our galaxy, but T Coronae Borealis is the closest.

When was the last time T Coronae Borealis exploded?

The last one was 1946 and then before that was 1866. So just from simple math, it looks like it should have a nova every 80 years. But on top of that, for each of the previous novae the white dwarf was observed to go through different states as it's ramping up toward the eruption.

First, it tends to be bright for about 10 years before the explosion. And we think that's because the disk, as it accumulates more mass it becomes more active in funneling material onto the white dwarf. And in the last 10 years, again, we saw T Coronae Borealis brighten just like the last two times it exploded.

Second, for each of the previous novae, the white dwarf began to dim for about a year or so before the explosion. Similarly, as of March 2023, T Coronae Borealis also started getting dim. It is less clear why this happens.

One idea is that the disk is sort of emptied out and finished its accretion. And then there's a cooling phase as the material compresses onto the white dwarf, reaching higher pressures and before it's going to explode.

So we don't know exactly when it's going to happen, but since it started dimming in March 2023, we're expecting an explosion basically any time over the next few months.

Why are recurring novae systems like T Coronae Borealis interesting to astronomers?

It's interesting in a lot of different ways. One is that this is the closest of all the recurrent novae. It's only about 2,6000 light-years away. So, it's the one we can study with the most detail. And it recurs relatively frequently, so we can predict it and prepare for the explosion to happen.

Because it is so close, we can track how matter accumulates onto the white dwarf over the last 80 years to better understand how the conditions are met for the explosion to trigger.

T Cor Bor is also interesting because its white dwarf is close to the maximum mass that white dwarfs are able to have. White dwarfs are not able to be more massive than the so-called Chandrasekhar limit, which is roughly 1.4 times the mass of our sun.

Above this mass, the white dwarf begins to collapse and could potentially explode and produce a Type Ia supernova. When this happens the entire white dwarf is destroyed, not just the surface layers like a nova. Type Ia supernovae are incredibly important, from synthesizing many of the heavy elements that are critical for life to being cosmic beacons that are used to measure the shape and size of the universe.

So novae like T Coronae Borealis are interesting for our ongoing efforts to understand how white dwarfs could build up to that limit to produce such a supernova.

On top of that, there has been a resurgence in the study of novae in the last decade or so. That's because with new technologies and new telescopes we've discovered that a lot of high-energy gamma ray emissions are actually coming from the novae.

This wasn't at all expected, but photons with gigavolt energies are coming from these events. We think that's because shocks are being generated from the interaction of the exploding surface layers with the outflow of material from the red giant.

This really wasn't expected until we had the technology to see it. For example, there are these things called Cherenkov detectors that are placed on the ground and enable us to see the cosmic rays—high-energy photons—as they hit Earth's atmosphere and create showers of particles. And from looking at this, we can reconstruct the energy of those photons and learn about the events that emitted them.

We have known for a long time that gamma rays, supermassive black holes at the centers of galaxies, and other cosmic phenomena can produce high-energy emissions, but we only recently learned that these novae can do so as well. So, it's going to be very exciting to have one of the closest novae to study in this way.

Will non-professional astronomers be able to enjoy this event?

Yes, definitely. When the explosion triggers, the white dwarf will brighten over about five days, hitting peak magnitude around the same magnitude as the North Star has in the sky. So, it will be as bright as that for a few hours and you'll be able to see it with your naked eyes. Then the luminosity falls exponentially over the following weeks. So for maybe five days, you will still be able to see it with a good set of binoculars.

This reminds me that another interesting thing is that T Coronae Borealis is the only nova event that actually brightens again after about 100 days. Other recurring novae don't demonstrate this same feature, so this is something that we want to study more.

The second brightening is too dim to be seen with the naked eye. However, with the powerful telescopes that astronomers use for our work, we will be able to study it and learn why it happens.

Unfortunately, T Coronae Borealis is only visible in the northern hemisphere and Carnegie Science's Las Campanas Observatory is in Chile, so we'll be left out of studying this with our own facilities. A fun fact is that the 1946 eruption was observed at our famous Mt Wilson facility north of Pasadena.

What tools will be available for studying T Cor Bor that weren't around yet in the 40s or earlier?

Most of the detections before were, of course, just basically optical light. Nowadays, we can look at objects and phenomena in so many different wavelengths. In addition to optical detectors, the most interesting tools will probably be things like X-ray detectors that can reveal new information about the high-energy emissions.

And, as I mentioned before, the Cherenkov detectors will give us a better picture of the shocks that are driven by the violent explosion on the surface of the white dwarf.

As a theorist, are there theories that we will be able to test by studying T Cor Bor?

Because T Coronae Borealis is so close and can be observed even when it's not producing an outburst, we can get an inventory of how much mass was accumulated onto the white dwarf. This can then be compared to how much material is ejected during the explosion, which teaches us about how white dwarfs may gain or lose mass over time. That's exciting, because when white dwarfs are gaining mass, they might be moving toward becoming Type Ia supernovae.

And then the other thing that I kind of referred to is that there is a lot of interesting physics involved in the particle acceleration of these high-energy emissions. Theorists really get excited about doing the math to explain how that acceleration works, and T Coronae Borealis is an amazing laboratory to test these theories.

On top of that, there are these different features, such as the dimming that people speculate is because of the disk clearing out, and things getting a little cooler for a second before the triggering of the eruption. All the features of the dimming, the brightness, and then it has a secondary plateau, are all going to be characterized better to compare with theoretical models.

And is there anything else that we haven't discussed or that you think it's important to understand about this particular phenomenon and others like it?

It's just fun to think about the fact that because T Coronae Borealis is 2,600 light-years away, and it has a nova roughly every 80 years, this means there are more than 30 of these eruptions that have already happened, and they're all on our way to us.

And so, you can almost, kind of like picture these shells in light of these explosions that have all happened over the past 2,600 years, and they're all traveling toward us through the Milky Way galaxy right now. So it's not a matter of when the novae happen but when they finally reach us on Earth so we can learn about them.

Sometimes we talk about things that are fairly abstract in astronomy, but this is something you're going to be able to see with your naked eye and directly point to. It's a unique opportunity to connect with the same sort of excitement astronomers have felt for thousands of years when they discovered something new in the sky. We don't know exactly when it will happen, but it's going to be fun when it does.

IMAGE: An illustration of a system like T Coronae Borealis that Piro made when he was a graduate student. Credit: Tony Piro

#science #space #physics #astronomy #news #astrophysics

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pwblogarchive · 4 months ago

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December 2001

December 4, 2001

“i keep her heart in a box next to my bed and take it out sometimes before i go to sleep…”

|10:30 pm]

[ Current Music | the cure: all ]

what’s up. it’s been awhile. we had one of the best and worst weekends as a band ever. our record release was great- kids went pretty insane and we sold a bunch of cds. however, our trip to cleavland was horrid.

first, we leave late for the show. next we get a flat outside of toledo- the tow truck guy picks us up in a van to go and get a tire. on the way i tell him we are in town for the adult film festival. a half hour later we get another flat. this time 20 miles outside of cleavland. the towtruck driver tells us that we won’t be able to get a tire that night as he tows us. at least he buys a cd cause i tell him we sound like slipknot. i then call the promoter and tell her our story, i tell her to have our friends in the band Deadtofall come pick us up cause they are from chicago too. instead she gets super pissy and is all “i’m coming to get you, i’m leaving the show unattended… blah blah”. she gets to the toll plaza that we are stuck at and we grab our guitars and some cds and get in. the whole ride she bitches at me about how she thinks this is our fault and shit. we get to the show and borrow deadtofall and the funeral’s stuff and play one of the worst shows we have ever played, honestly we were so sloppy. this had something to do with playing on other equipment and so forth. we sold a couple of cds anyway which was nice. 100 demons was supposed to play next on santa sangres equipment but since they broke up, they were going to use our equipment but we had none because of the flats… to make a long story short they weren’t given any equipment and got pretty pissed off. people ended up demanding money back- they wanted some- in the end we got paid nothing (because of the hassle we “created” by getting two flats) and ended up spending a fortune on getting towed and new tires. deadtofall drove some of us home that night and some slept in the toll plaza and waited till morning to walk two miles to get a new tire. on the way a cop stopped them and when giving them ride informed them he had picked up 100 demons the night before for having drugs in their van. yikes. ah you win some you lose some.

the dates for our winter tour:

12.30 evansville, in - 7a7p

12.31 cincinatti, Oh- 7a7p

1.1 syracuse-w/ throwdown

1.2 ottawa, on-w/throwdown

1.3 montreal, pq -throwdown

1.4 long island, ny

1.5 philly

1.6 nyc-w/throwdown

and a review of our new record from hanging like a hex fanzine:

“This easily wins scariest layout of the year award. Very blunt, very graphic, and very disturbing, this Chicago piledriver unleases it’s most solid work to date. Whereas I really liked what they were doing before, but felt that they dragged out their songs, and overloaded them with too much baggage at times, this debut full length simplifies things a bit. The heaviness and technicality is still there in spades, but the songs have shortened up a bit, and are a bit more concise, which is something this band really needed. And it works really well. Playing pummelling metalcore with down-tuned riffing, and a heavily pessimistic view of the world, Arma just crush everything in their path, and continue to maim with no concern for the past, present, or future. It’s a great effort with supurb recording (heavy on the bass I might add) and a bleak outlook.”

in other good news i’m finally gonna get to hang out with this girl i have been missing for the past month or so. shes come’s into town tommorrow- yep.

love petey

December 9, 2001

“ bootcut jean and black t-shirt hardcore”

fallout boy played tonight. it was fun the rest of the Angelus didn’t show up, oh well.

some people have been writing asking about posters and shit… if you want one.. just send a buck to 900 forest wilmette, il 60091 and i will send one right out with some stickers and stuff.

oh yeah, if a show is not posted on here then we are not playing it…

love pete

December 19, 2001

“Faithless is he who says farewell just as the path darkens”

hey lovers,

so i have been having a horrible week. i’m not even sure why. i guess cause i’m really alone. nobody is really around and it’s cold as hell. then i read this horrible review of our record- on most days it would make me laugh but last night it was the worst. most of the reviews have been good but this one trashed it “horrible, gutteral vocals… droning guitars” haha.

it made up for it though when i went to Lord of the Rings at midnight last night. easily one of the best movies of the last decade. phenomonal.

i dunno, also we’ve been trying to write as a band lately and it’ been good at times and horrible at others. we’ll see how it turns out-

here’s the new and final dates for tour:

12/30-Indianapolis,IN-venue-Festvilla more info [email protected] with 7 Angels 7 Plagues

12/31-Cincinnatti,OH-venue-The Void more info [email protected] with 7 Angels 7 Plagues

1/1-Syracuse,NY-venue-Armory High with Throwdown,Converge,Bleeding Through

½-Ottawa,ON-venue-Club Saw more info [email protected] with Throwdown and Bleeding Through

1/3-Montreal,PQ-venue-Salle'X more info [email protected] with Throwdown and Bleeding Through

¼-Long Island,NY-venue-TBA more info [email protected]

1/5-Philadelphia,PA-venue-Chord more info [email protected] with Punishment,Dark Day Dawning

1/6-New York City,NY-venue-CBGB’S more info [email protected] with Throwdown,Bleeding Through,From Autumn to Ashes,plus more.

this is farewell to falling in love with all the wrong hearts and screaming the worst stories you’ve ever heard. i’ll confide only in paper and die by the phone on saturday nights (no love is safe)…

come out and hang out with us.

pete

December 19, 2001

“an empty house and a cold bed”

whoops. i read back that last entry and realized that i whipped it off like shit, it doesn’t really make alot of sense. okay so the follow up- i think more of how i have been feeling lately is like- i look bac five years, almost 10 years and i’m in the same place i was then. i live in the bedroom i grew up in at my parents house. i am trying to finish school and i am still doing hardcore bands. living this thing. i dunno it kind of got me down- like i feel like i hven’t eally made any progress, like i haven’t grown up at all. whatever. does that even make anymore sense? like i don’t really feel like being alive but at the same time i don’t want to be dead. so i trod through life being neiher alive or dead… anyway here’s my week:

thursday- fallout boy practice, fallout boy show in milwaukee

friday- fallout boy recording, Arma Angelus show with deadtofall, then fallout boy is playing on loyola radio.

saturday- fallout boy recording, sleep

oh yeah come see Arma Angelus at the fireside Dec. 28 if you are around: it’s with Knives Out (ex-american nightmare) and Suicide Note.

Goodnight.

December 30, 2001

“what’s inside? is it just guts and black stuff? i’ll find out soon.”

so we’re leaving right now on tour. hopefully i will see some of you soon. if we owe you some gear and what not come up to me at a show and i will hook you up. otherwise have a great new year. no heat in a van to canada- yes.

love pete

#fall out boy #pete wentz livejournal #pete wentz #livejournal

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libertariantaoist · 1 year ago

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News Roundup 11/22/2023 | The Libertarian Institute

Here is your daily roundup of today's news:

News Roundup 11/22/2023

by Kyle Anzalone

Ukraine

The White House Announces New $100 Million Weapons Package for Ukraine. Press ReleaseAWC

Berlin has pledged to send Kiev $1.4 billion in weapons to aid its war against Russia. The announcement of the German arms package comes as the White House is nearing depleting the funds allocated by Congress for Ukraine. The Institute

China

The US military will deploy new medium-range missile systems to the Pacific region next year for the purpose of “deterring” China from invading Taiwan, the commander of US Army Pacific Forces said on Saturday. AWC

North Korea

North Korea Successfully Launched First Spy Satellite into Orbit. AJ

Israel

Iranian Foreign Minister Hossein Amirabdollahian has said that Tehran expressed to the US through back channels that it does not want the Gaza war to escalate into a regional conflict while also warning escalation was inevitable if Israel didn’t stop its campaign. AWC

Amos Hochstein, a senior adviser to President Biden, is in Israel to hold talks with Israeli officials on preventing a major war with Lebanon as fighting between Israeli and Hezbollah forces across the Israel-Lebanon border continues to escalate, Axios reported on Monday. AWC

Israel warned residents of Jabalia, the largest refugee camp, and Khan Younis, the largest city in southern Gaza, to flee their homes. Tel Aviv’s massive bombing campaign against the besieged enclave has already displaced about three-quarters of Gaza’s 2.3 million residents. The White House supports Israel expanding its military operation in the Strip. The Institute

Israeli Intelligence Minister Gila Gamliel proposed the “voluntary resettlement” of Palestinians in the Gaza Strip to other countries around the world in an op-ed for The Jerusalem Post published Sunday. AWC

Major General Giora Eiland, former head of the National Security Council and current advisor to the Defense Minister calls for genocide. MondoWeiss

Former Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak says bunkers under Shifa Hospital in Gaza were built by Israel decades ago. Newsweek

Chief of Indonesia Hospital in Gaza Demands Biden Call for a Ceasefire. Open Letter

A Hamas leader and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu both signaled on Tuesday that they might be close to reaching an agreement on Hamas releasing hostages in exchange for a short ceasefire. AWC

According to the Committee to Protect Journalists Over 50 Journalists Have Been killed in Israel, Lebanon, and Gaza since October 7. UPIAWC

Israel Bombed Humanitarian Targets After the US Provided Tel Aviv with the Location. PoliticoAWC

Health officials in Gaza have told The Associated Press that it’s become impossible to count the dead due to a breakdown of communications and the presence of Israeli forces on the ground in northern Gaza. AWC

Iraq

US Central Command (CENTCOM) said Tuesday that a US AC-130 gunship launched strikes in Iraq against people allegedly responsible for an earlier missile attack on the Ain al-Asad airbase in western Iraq, which houses US troops. AWC

#kyle anzalone #libertarian institute #news roundup

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olko71 · 1 year ago

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New Post has been published on All about business online

New Post has been published on https://yaroreviews.info/2023/09/hope-for-mortgage-rate-cuts-after-bank-of-england-decision

Hope for mortgage rate cuts after Bank of England decision

Getty Images

By Kevin Peachey

Cost of living correspondent

Mortgage rates should fall following the Bank of England’s decision to keep its key interest rate on hold, brokers say.

So far the response has been muted, with the Nationwide the only major lender to reduce mortgage rates since the Bank’s announcement was made.

Brokers expect more competition among lenders in the coming weeks.

But they warn that changes are likely to be slow, with little prospect of the Bank rate being cut in the near future.

The Monetary Policy Committee’s decision to hold the Bank rate at 5.25% was somewhat of a surprise, with many analysts expecting a 15th consecutive increase.

It will bring immediate relief to 1.4 million people on tracker and standard variable rate (SVR) deals who have been seeing regular increases in their monthly repayments.

Even after rates were held, compared with December 2021, those on a tracker mortgage are paying £540 more a month, or £299 more a month on a SVR.

Around three-quarters of mortgage customers hold fixed-rate deals. Banking trade body UK Finance says there are about 800,000 of these deals ending in the second half of 2023, and about 1.6 million expiring next year.

Brokers said there was now a better chance of these borrowers getting mortgage rates of less than 5% when they renew.

“I expect more lenders will lower their fixed mortgage deals over the coming weeks,” said Aaron Strutt, from Trinity Financial. “Mortgage rates need to be closer to 4% to bring more confidence back to the market.

“There certainly is not a full-on price war at the moment, but rates are coming down as the cost of funding mortgages falls.”

The UK’s biggest building society, the Nationwide, reduced rates by up to 0.31 percentage points on Friday.

Other lenders have been nudging down the cost of their new fixed rate mortgages recently, including announcements from TSB before the Bank’s announcement on Thursday and NatWest on Wednesday.

Mortgage calculator: Will my payments rise?

Andrew Montlake, from broker Coreco, said the end of the string of Bank rate rises allowed lenders some “space” to cut their mortgage rates.

“This will be a slow and steady fall rather than anything dramatic and the current plateau looks like it will be a stable place for some time yet,” he said.

The latest figures show that the average two-year fixed mortgage rate fell slightly to 6.56% on Friday, compared with 6.58% on Thursday. The typical five-year fixed deal is 6.06%, according to the financial information service Moneyfacts.

Nicola Valentine

Nicola Valentine said she was “breathing a sigh of relief” on hearing that rates were being held.

But the tax accountant, from Isleham, Cambridgeshire, is still “hugely anxious” because her mortgage is due to go up by about £300 a month.

Her 2.9% fixed-rate mortgage deal expires in November. She has cancelled TV and gym subscriptions, and stopped buying new clothes and takeaways, but still does not know how she will find the extra money.

“I’m praying the rates have peaked now and will start to go down because this is really unsustainable for me. I feel completely helpless,” she said.

Mortgage holders react to news of interest rate freeze

Most people remortgaging will still pay significantly more than their previous deal, as interest rates are far higher than people became accustomed to for more than a decade.

The Bank of England governor, Andrew Bailey, has played down any chances that the Bank rate might start to be cut soon.

“I can tell you that we have not had any discussion… about reducing rates, because that would be very, very premature. Our job is to get inflation down,” he said.

Lucian Cook, head of residential research at estate agency Savills, predicted further falls in UK house prices as a result.

“A material improvement in mortgage affordability requires the prospect of a cut in interest rates coming onto the horizon,” he said. “That still looks some way off, suggesting buyers’ budgets are going to remain constrained and that there is a little way to go before house prices bottom out.”

Ways to save money on your mortgage

Overpay now if possible: If you still have some time on a low fixed-rate deal, your mortgage could work harder for you now. Putting money in a savings account can build up and also earn interest to help to pay down some of the mortgage ahead of fixing a new deal.

Switch to interest only: If you have an interest-only mortgage it means you are only paying the interest on the amount borrowed, and you are not paying down the size of the debt. But moving to an interest-only mortgage can keep your monthly payments affordable.

Downsize: This is possibly not a realistic option for a growing family, or for the owners of a small flat. But for older mortgage customers whose children have flown the nest, selling up and buying a smaller property could reduce the mortgage size.

There are more tips on saving money on your mortgage here

More on this story

What no change in rates means for your money

11 hours ago

Mortgage calculator: Will my payments rise?

12 July

‘I’m praying interest rates have peaked now’

1 day ago

Rate freeze ends run of 14 straight increases

1 day ago

Renting cheaper than first-time mortgages – Zoopla

21 August

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16sasha · 1 year ago

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The Changing Landscape of the UK Economy: A 2023 Outlook

A combination of factors, including a slow recovery of the labor market after the COVID-19 epidemic and continuously poor investment and productivity, has led to a severe economic downturn in Britain since Russia's invasion of Ukraine. The Confederation of British Industry said that Britain's economy is on track to contract by 0.4% next year as inflation continues to be high and corporations put investment on hold, with grim implications for longer-term growth.

"The United Kingdom is experiencing stagflation, characterized by soaring prices, negative GDP, declining productivity, and decreasing business investment. Although businesses are aware of the chances for growth, they are delaying investments until 2023 because of... headwinds, "Tony Danker, director general of the CBI, stated.

Finance Minister Jeremy Hunt cited the latest forecasts from the Office for Budget Responsibility and predicted a 1.4% decline in the British GDP in 2023. (OBR). The OBR revised its prognosis for next year from an increase of 1.8% to the current estimate of 2.2%. So what will the economy be like in 2023? Let's dive in for more.

GDP prediction 2023

The Office of Budget Responsibility (OBR) predicts that the UK's gross domestic product (GDP) will contract in 2023, which is a steeper decrease than they had previously predicted. Jeremy Hunt, the British chancellor, presented the data in his annual Autumn Statement. Previously predicted economic growth of 1.8% for the UK in 2023 has been sharply reduced to a predicted loss of 1.4%.

Many predicted that the economy would see a slowdown in the next year, but a complete year of negative growth is a different story. While this was happening, the GDP growth rate for this year was raised from 3.8 to 4.2 percent. This could be attributable to the fact that the energy price subsidy scheme wasn't disclosed until September, meaning its beneficial effect on GDP wasn't factored into March projections.

The continuation of the scheme in some form in 2023 was confirmed in the Autumn Statement; however, it will be means tested, meaning that many households will receive nothing. In comparison with 2022, when all households received energy price subsidies, this will negatively affect demand in the economy.

Compared to the prior projection of 2.1%, the new forecast for 2024 predicts a lower rate of economic growth of 1.3%. The tax rises proposed in today's Autumn Statement make the tax take the highest share of GDP it has been in 75 years, according to Paul Johnson, director of the Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS).

Chief investment officer of Quilter Investors, Marcus Brookes, stated, "Today's Autumn Statement has presented a dismal picture for the UK, with a black hole of £54bn being plugged with a mixture of spending cuts and tax rises."

UK Future Recession Predictions

The rising expense of living is soon becoming a catastrophe, and many of us have already felt its effects. In the coming months, further fuel price increases are likely. Let's look at the future impacts that might happen -

There are a number of interrelated causes for the current financial crisis in the UK. By themselves, they pose significant difficulties but are not catastrophic. Nonetheless, the current unstable climate may be about to take another downward turn due to the cumulative effects of the UK's multiple lockdowns on the economy and Russia's invasion of Ukraine on the worldwide market price of gas and oil.

The cost of living has already increased significantly for households. The Bank of England forecasts that gas and electricity prices will increase by as much as 40% in October, following a 54% increase since April. As a result, annual home bills will be above £3,000 from here on out. While interest rates are expected to rise to levels not seen for over 30 years, inflation is expected to remain low.

Spending is expected to decrease as consumers, and companies feel the effects of rising inflation and the snowballing cost of living. So, the economy will contract. If economists are correct, a recession could look like this in the not-too-distant future.

But now, as inflation soars and the rising cost of living strikes families everywhere, some analysts are anticipating another recession. Although many analysts expect a downturn, they are not unanimous. The UK economy was expected to expand by 3.8% this year, according to projections from the Office for Budget Responsibility (OBR). Meanwhile, the latest IMF global economic projection predicted growth of 3.7%, making it the joint-strongest among the Group of Seven industrialized nations.

However, even the most upbeat projections don't point to robust expansion, with Deutsche Bank putting the chances of a recession at nearly one in three. Households will be under even more pressure to cut spending this summer as inflation is expected to remain high for a prolonged period. There may be a sense of recession, at least in spirit, among certain people.

Productivity and Company Investment is Declining in the UK Economy

After a politically and economically difficult year, the CBI's 2023 economic outlook is grim. According to the latest CBI UK economy prediction for 2023, the PM and Chancellor must improve long-term growth. The economic expansion comes from maximizing production and workforce. When fiscal and monetary policy is tight, the government must employ all levers to boost the UK economy.

Capital allowances and regulatory adjustments, such as eliminating the de facto prohibition on onshore wind and updating the national planning policy framework, are necessary to address skill and labor shortages and free up corporate investment.

Seventy-five percent of businesses require a concerted effort to address shortages. As a means of accomplishing this goal, firms should work together to increase productivity through training and automation, and economic inactivity should be reduced through a more accommodating immigration policy. The government should implement a permanent full allowances regime to free up an additional £50bn in capital investment annually by the end of the decade, provided that the budget permits doing so.

The UK economy will show many of the same indicators of structural weakness that were prevalent even before COVID throughout the predicted period. A dismal 2% below the (already low) pre-pandemic trend in output has persisted after the epidemic hit (i.e., the trend seen from 2010 to 2019). Even with a partial recovery by 2024, it is predicted business investment to still be 9 percent below the levels seen before the pandemic.

Also Read - UK Economy in 2023: What does Rishi Sunak, the new UK PM, have to offer?

To Sum Up

As individuals and businesses struggle with rising expenses, it is estimated that it would take until 2024 for Britain's economy to recover to pre-Covid levels, which has slowed employment and corporate investment. Don't Miss Out on the Latest Updates Regarding the State of the UK Economy predictions for 2023, GDP predictions for 2023, future recession predictions, 2023 economy predictions, and more.

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truck-fump · 1 year ago

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How the Super Rich Are Killing Social SecurityHere’s the real...

New Post has been published on https://robertreich.org/post/722034724903829504

How the Super Rich Are Killing Social SecurityHere’s the real...

youtube

How the Super Rich Are Killing Social Security

Here’s the real reason Social Security is in danger that nobody’s talking about.

It’s not just because too many boomers like me are retiring. It’s because of inequality.

Now, I don’t want to alarm you. Social Security is still helping us oldies enjoy our golden years — but only for so long.

Social Security is one of the most popular and successful government programs ever created, not only helping retirees — but it’s also keeping 26 million people out of poverty. Yet here is the problem:

It’s going run out of money before you can ever receive it if the rich don’t start paying their fair share.

The trustees of Social Security — of which yours truly was once a member back when I had thicker hair — say the program will only be able to pay full benefits until 2033. After that, Social Security will only be able to dole out roughly 77 percent of benefits.

Why? It’s not the reason that many seem to think.

Boomer retirees like me might be soaking up some sun, but we’re not soaking up all of the program’s funds.

The Social Security trustees anticipated the boom in boomer retirements. This is why Social Security was amended back in 1983, to gradually increase the age for collecting full retirement benefits from age 65 to 67. That change is helping finance the boomers’ retirement.

What did the trustees fail to anticipate? How much income would be going to the top.

A big part of the American working population today is earning less than the Social Security trustees anticipated years ago — reducing revenue flowing into the program.

At the same time, a much larger chunk of the nation’s total income is now going to the top compared to decades ago.

But income subject to the Social Security payroll tax is capped. No dollar of earnings above the cap is taxed. The cap in 2023 is $160,200.

So, as the rich have become far richer, more and more of the nation’s total income has escaped the Social Security payroll tax.

For example, a CEO earning $20 million a year pays Social Security taxes on roughly 1% of their income, while a worker earning under the cap pays Social Security taxes on 100% of their income. But they both end up paying the same amount of money into the program.

The rise in the amount of income above the cap due to inequality has cost the Social Security Trust Fund reserve an estimated $1.4 trillion since 1983.

The solution is obvious: it’s time to scrap the cap, and make the rich pay more in Social Security taxes.

One plan introduced in Congress would eliminate the cap on earnings over $250,000 and also subject investment income to Social Security taxes. It’s estimated that this would extend the solvency of Social Security for the next 75 years without raising taxes on 93% of American households.

This is where you come in. Share this video and help spread the word about the real threat to Social Security.

If we want to ensure Social Security’s long term future, and that working people can retire with dignity, we must make the wealthy pay their fair share.

#Uncategorized

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gayerthanevertbh · 3 years ago

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Right Where You Left Me - Epilogue

A/N: here’s the epilogue! i think it’s too short but well, there’s no explanation on why. but, thank you for reading this series, i’ve had tons of laughter and relatable shit that ya’ll say in the comments. and pleaaaase, don’t date someone like scarlett (in this series) like that. please.

i’m currently working on a Natasha x Fem!Reader series, but it’s also very angsty. Less toxic though.

Summary: A devastating broken marriage was formed between two lovers. She promised you forever, loyalty, and beautiful memories. You believed in everything she said until a file of divorce papers was on her table. Like as they always say; a cheater is always a cheater. If it happens once, it'll happen again.

Pairing: Scarlett Johansson x Fem!Reader; Elizabeth Olsen x Fem!Reader

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1.4 k

Taglist: @fxckmiup @mmmmokdok @santasbitch @officialbriiiisworld @averygwendoline @powerfultaylor

Chapter One || Chapter Two || Chapter Three || Chapter Four || Chapter Five || Chapter Six || Chapter Seven || Chapter Eight || Chapter Nine || Epilogue

2 YEARS LATER

“Well, well, well! Look who it is.” Celia shakes her head and smiles gigantically with her teeth showing pearly. You and her agreed to have a hang out somewhere downtown in New York. Celia has been in Morocco for a year and as busy as you are, you couldn’t get to see her.

You sat across from your best friend and smiled at her gently, noticing how you feel really good right at this moment.

“I haven’t seen you in so long, how are you?” You asked while you were getting a latte with fresh bagels from the waiter.

“God, I have been working my ass off. Thank god I’ve moved back here, how about you? How’s everything?”

“Well, me and Scarlett have not talked for 2 years, which is a good thing because the last time… well, I finally let her go.”

Celia nods satisfactorily, clasping her hands together in joy. “Thank god, Y/N. She was extremely toxic, manipulative, and cheated on you! I’m glad you got into your senses.”

Yeah? Me too.

“I think we should really stop doing this.” You said, fearing that she might be upset. Scarlett opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes out, unfortunately. You both sat on the couch for quite some time, in silence. Until she whispered brokenly:

“I know. We do.”

“Do you agree?” You asked. Scarlett just shrugs but nods at the same time. It has been 3 months since you and Scarlett are working things out in the relationship, but notice that your love for her wavers away. You do try your best to see what’s new for her, but whenever you do – you just remember how much she crushed you completely.

“I don’t know,” She replies, looking confused. She brings her hand to yours and touched it gently – almost like she’s holding a baby. “I really love you, Y/N.”

You breathed, feeling your chest getting heavier whenever she squeezes your hand. Whispering, you replied: “I really love you too, Scarlett. But, I just can’t love you the way you want me to.”

“I know sweetheart, I know.”

The air fills up with thick air between you two as you cup her cheek with your left hand, lifting it up to see her eyes for one last time. She looked at you and gives you the smallest smile, leaning to your forehead.

“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, never forget that.”

You nodded with a giggle and felt your tears running down your cheek. Leaning, you pressed your lips against hers for one last time until you pulled away, finally letting go of her. Finally letting go of that someone who you used to love but falling out of love for.

The next morning, she’s gone. Her suitcase was gone. The smell of her clothes is gone. Her smile that would make you blush so much, is gone. She’s gone and there’s no way you’re letting her in anymore.

You remember when you both slept together for one last time that she told you that she’s so in love with you, but hates the fact you’re hurting and falling out of love. You would just hum and enjoy the last time you’re in her arms warmly. Her kisses would be left on top of your head while her hands are caressing your arms and waist softly. Scarlett holds you there, memorizing the way your skin feels or how your eyes twinkle whenever she looks at you. She memorizes the way your lips would feel and it’s just so soft.

“I love you, Y/N.”

You smiled – in freedom of her burden, and whispered back:

“I love you too, Scarlett.”

“How was the part of moving on?” Celia asked while mixing her tea with the small spoon in her hand, looking at you with so many questions. You just shrugged, leaning back on the chair, and sighed out loud.

“It wasn’t as hard because I let her go when she left me for the first time. I don’t know why I went back to her, probably because I’ve spent so many years loving her that it was just a natural reflex. I let myself in to fix the relationship but there was nothing there for me anymore.”

“I don’t know what else to say,” Your friend replies, sighing with you. You nodded plainly and ate a big chunk of your bagel, trying to think of something else other than your relationship with Scarlett.

“I guessed that.”

“Where is she now?” She asked in a gentle tone.

“I heard she’s getting married,” You said while drinking your latte quietly. “With another woman.”

“How does that make you feel?”

“Absolutely nothing.”

It’s true. You don’t feel the spark of jealousy or pain or anything that involves you getting disappointed, none. You were just free from the burden she has put you through, so you just guessed why else would you feel that type of way? She laughs, almost hysterically, but it dies down once it got too quiet.

“Hey, that’s good though!”

“I guess so,” You looked down and smiled sheepishly. It was quite a bright day in New York, a lot of people are walking past the both of you and it was a comforting feeling. You hated being alone, you were alone for way too much. So, fresh air and new surroundings were good for you at least.

“I hope she’ll never hurt the woman she’ll marry.” You whispered and thought Celia didn’t hear you, but she heard you perfectly well that she replied: “I’m hoping with you too.”

You and her clank your coffees together and talked about how she had a great time in Morrocco, letting your mind slip off from Scarlett.

You had a good journey with Scarlett, you’ve learned so many things from your relationship with her too. You learned how to be tougher and handle situations logically and not think with your emotions because emotions can’t get you anywhere. When you were with Scarlett, it was emotionally involved. You weren’t even thinking straight but it’s kind of a bullshit lie when they say “Follow your heart” Because doing that is just an idiotic thing to do – well to your point of view.

You do believe that Scarlett loved you, she did. And it did show very well, but she has no self-control and it leads her to cheat and emotionally abused you. It kind of scarred your heart, in all honesty. You are still afraid to love again and to trust someone, but you’re learning. You’re learning from your past mistakes and hoping she does too.

What you’ve mostly understood from your past mistakes is that sometimes giving someone another chance isn’t the best thing to do, especially when they have done it repeatedly. You guessed that Scarlett liked it whenever you were running back to her, that’s probably the reason why she never let go. But, you don’t know that now. You stopped talking to her for 2 years and hoped that was the last time.

You went back home tiredly, walking past the kitchen until your body flops onto the soft couch. Groaning, you grabbed your laptop and searched her name to see what she has been up to.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON SAYS ‘I’D LIKE MY WEDDING TO BE SECURELY PRIVATE’

Is this about her new fiance? You thought to yourself and clicked on the video. Smiling to yourself, you forgot how devastatingly beautiful the woman was.

“So, how’s your new fiance? Where are you guys getting married?”

Scarlett laughs sheepishly and replies, “It’s all up to her I mean, I never thought I’ll love again until I met her. She plans to get married somewhere quieter and I do agree, we would like our wedding to be securely private.”

“Understandable!” The interviewer says and asked, “What made you feel like you can love again?”

It was a long pause, she stayed quiet for 20 seconds and suddenly looked into the camera as if she were looking at you and said,

“They did. I hope they do know how much they gave me so much hope, They made me a better person. They did that.”

“I have no idea who that person is but they seem so special!”

Scarlett sighs and smiles at the interviewer, agreeing. “They are very special, I hope they know that.”

Closing your laptop, you sighed in relief. She was getting married, you are no longer talking to her, but you knew that she was talking to you directly. Not to chase you back or whatever but to fully thank you for everything that happened between the both of you.

Finally, you felt peace in your heart.

You hope that she does too.

Once a cheater is always a cheater.

THE END.

#scarlett johansson x reader #scarlett johansson #scarlett johansson x you #scarlett johansson angst #elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen x reader #toxic relationship #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha angst #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #wlw blog #rwylmstory

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homoose · 4 years ago

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Weird is Good

Summary: A story about two people tryna make it through the age of COVID-19 in a country where people are fucking dumb lmao. My hc is that Spencer would be like wtf at all these science-denying anti-maskers. Also, two teachers just tryna make it through quarantine and remote teaching in a one bedroom apartment (this is taking place during a mandatory leave/lecture cycle).

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: fluff

Warnings/Includes: no warnings. reader is both a kindergarten teacher and a bruh girl with a pirate’s mouth. lots of Spencer x factz.

Word count: 3.1k

———

“We’re home for the next two weeks. ”

Spencer looked up from his desk to see Y/N kicking off her shoes, dropping her bag, and walking directly to the sink. “Starting when?”

“We get to go in on Monday to say goodbye to the kids and get any materials we might need. Then we’re home for two weeks. They’re calling it an early, extended spring break.” Y/N began her hand washing routine. As a kindergarten teacher, she’d always been a strict hand-washer. In the time of COVID, she had only become more zealous. She looked at Spencer. “Have you heard anything?”

“Since we’re so close to the end of the semester, the department head thinks they’ll try to finish out the year as normal.” He set down his pen. “I honestly don’t know. It will all depend on whether people follow the CDC guidelines. The spread of any virus is deducible mathematically, and SARS-COV2 is no different. Based on the outbreak in Italy prior to their lockdown, we can accurately describe its reproductive number, or Rt, to between 2.43 – 3.10.”

Y/N shut off the water and dried her hands on a paper towel. “In layman's terms, Dr. Reid.”

“The Rt tells how many people are infected by the contagious host,” he explained. “In the case of this strain, each infected person is infecting between two and three others. For comparison, the standard seasonal flu has an average Rt between 1.4 and 1.7.”

“So in other words, fucking yikes,” Y/N groaned. She moved to perch on the edge of Spencer’s desk.

“Indeed,” Spencer agreed. “We know how fast the flu can travel through an office or a classroom, so imagine if it was two times as transmissible. But it's also really important to understand that this number changes depending on the mitigations in place. Even prior to full lockdown, mask wearing and social distancing was somewhat common in Italy, so it’s likely the uncontrolled Rt is higher.”

“Jesus Christ.” Y/N scrubbed a hand over her face. “We’ll probably never go back.”

Spencer rubbed his hand up from her ankle to the inside of her knee. “The good news is there’s nothing special about this virus compared to others in terms of how it spreads— it’s just aerosols. So if everyone wears their mask, we’ll be able to keep the spread low.”

⧭⧭⧭

“It’s safe to say that everyone did not wear their fucking masks,” Y/N snapped. She watched from the couch as Mayor Bowser delivered the news that DC Public Schools would remain closed for the remainder of the year. “This is crazy. I mean, I knew it was coming because people in this country are absolute buffoons.” She looked at Spencer, fingers pressed to her temple. “But holy shit, are we ever going to be able to go outside again?”

“With schools and universities closed, people working remotely, and lockdown orders in place, the Rt in the US could stay low. But masks have to be worn at all times, and social distancing has to be strictly followed.” Spencer pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “I just— I can’t believe people are refusing to wear masks. The empirical, peer-reviewed data clearly shows—”

“This is ‘Murica, boy.” Y/N mocked. “Ain’t no tyrannical government gonna tell me what to do!” She rolled her eyes. “Trust me, your choice to abstain from social media is paying dividends to your sanity right now.”

Spencer looked truly dumbfounded, setting his newspaper down in his lap. “But that’s just it. It’s not just in social media circles.” He gestured to the article in front of him. “This economist just argued for ‘reopening’ the economy using the justification of herd immunity. Herd immunity can be a plausible option for less lethal diseases. But this virus is not like varicella—the chickenpox,” he clarified at Y/N’s raised eyebrow. He waved his hands around in exasperation. “Putting aside the fact that one facet of herd immunity is vaccinating as many people as possible, its success completely hinges on the Rt of a disease. If you model a population based on an Rt of 2.5, herd immunity wouldn’t be achieved until approximately sixty percent of the population has been infected. Consider that the US population is currently 328 million, and sixty percent of that is 196.8 million. The current mortality rate for SARS-COV2 is 3.06 percent. 196,800,000 multiplied by 0.0306 is 6,022,080. Over six million people would die. It's simple mathematics.”

Y/N let out an exasperated breath. “It used to be that simple math and facts were enough. Now you’ve got basement scientists who think they know better than actual, literal scientists who’ve spent their entire lives studying these things.” She ran a hand over her face and gestured at the news conference still playing. “How long do you think it’ll be before we’re both trying to teach from this tiny ass living room?”

⧭⧭⧭

“Goooooooood morning, kindergarten! It’s Friday, and no Friday is a bad Friday!” Spencer smiled. As he poured his first cup of coffee, he hummed along with Y/N and 23 six-year-olds as they sang their morning song. Observing fourteen days of remote kindergarten from across the living room had given Spencer a new appreciation for elementary school teachers, particularly Y/N. She sang, danced, conducted science experiments, held puppet shows, read stories, led art projects, and fielded questions for four hours a day— three hours less than when they were in the school building. He was exhausted by proxy.

But he was also grateful for the opportunity to watch Y/N in her element. Even though they were at home, she still got dressed every day in bright, patterned sweaters and dresses— her Ms. Frizzle attire, she’d told him once. She was able to channel her personality into a kid-friendly version that her students clearly adored, never afraid to be silly or strange to get their attention and keep them engaged during the long days. He worked from home whenever possible, strangely happy to have the background noise of kindergarten over his quiet university office.

...

“Okay, but where do I put the biiiiiiiiiiiig number?” Y/N made a wide gesture with her arms. “Ariah, where should I put it? In the big box, yes! But oh no, my small number needs a friend. My three is soooooo lonely!” Y/N drew her mouth into a pout. “DJ, how can I help my three not be so sad? You’re absolutely right, let’s put that two right next to him in our number bond.”

…

“I’ve been waitin’ for a girl to mute,” Y/N sang into the gold karaoke mic. “I said, muuuuuuuuuute, I’m blinded by loud sounds. No, I can’t hear the friend who’s tryin’ to talk.”

…

“Oh boy. Kev, honey, we can— we can see you. Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. We can see all of you. I can’t turn your camera off, buddy. You gotta— there we go.”

…

“Mute please, I need— I need everybody to mute, please. Oh my goodness where is that music coming from?” Y/N frantically searched for her index card with the picture of the mute icon, as the sounds of a highly inappropriate song blared through the computer speaker. “I know it’s so loud, guys. Why is my mute power gone?! This is why we need to make sure we keep our mute button on, kindergarten.”

…

“No sweetie, it’s not time to log off yet. I’m sorry, I know it’s such a long day. We have about an hour left. Do you guys wanna do a countdown? It’s the fin-al count-down! Do-do doo dooooo. Do-do-d-do-dooo…”

…

“Annnnnd, I should see all my friends on mute. William, hang on just a second. All my friends need to look at my picture, it’s an oval with a line through it… Okay, William, what did you bring to show us?” Y/N leaned toward the computer screen. “Grandma Kathy? O-oh, she’s— she’s in the—“ Y/N’s eyes widened. “Is that— is that an urn? Oh wow. Um, well, wow. It’s beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing that with us, William. Grandma Kathy, may she rest in peace.”

⧭⧭⧭

A week into Y/N teaching kindergarten from their living room, the university had announced its transition to online coursework for the remainder of the academic year. Spencer had to host his first zoom lecture, and he was absolutely dreading it.

“Spence, it’s going to be fine. It’s not like you’ve never been on a video conference,” Y/N assured him. She sat cross-legged on the couch, waiting for him to let her in to his practice zoom.

“Yeah, but I wasn’t running those meetings. I just showed up.” He squinted at the computer screen. “Are you in?”

Y/N barely resisted the urge to make a joke, knowing that Spencer probably wouldn’t appreciate the innuendo. “No, you have to admit me.”

“What do you mean? How do I do that?”

“There should be a box with a button that says admit.”

Spencer gestured at the computer. “Well there’s a bunch of boxes— which one should I be looking at?”

Y/N sighed and got up from the couch. “IQ of 187 and can’t find the box.”

Spencer dragged a hand through his hair. “I know I shouldn’t find this so difficult. I’m sorry you have to waste your time on this.”

“Hey, it was a joke.” Y/N grabbed his hand from where he was frustratedly pulling on his frazzled curls. “I’m sorry. That was mean and you’re already stressed enough.” She used her free hand to smooth his hair back into place. She scrunched her nose. “I love you and your limited technology skills. And honestly it’s kind of nice to have one thing I can actually teach you about.” She squeezed his hand, leaning over him to peer at his computer screen. “All right, let’s find that elusive admit button.”

When the day of his lecture rolled around, Spencer thanked all the atoms in the observable universe that Y/N had a break during his class. Within the first ten minutes, he’d managed to accidentally kick himself out of his own meeting and then somehow lose track of the screenshare button.

“No one can see me and I don’t know what happened to the screenshare option. It was there and now it’s just… gone,” he told Y/N.

She leaned over his desk, eyes tracking over the screen and mouse clicking around the desktop. “How in the world did you manage to block your camera?”

“I don’t know! I didn’t even touch it!” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t understand how it’s even possible to be this bad at this.”

Y/N bumped his knee with her own, pulling up his camera settings and preferences. “Relax. You can’t be good at everything. It’s a refreshing reminder that you’re a mere mortal like the rest of us.” With a few rapid clicks, Y/N unblocked his camera and located the screenshare bar. “There. Crisis averted. I’m just going to share your whole screen in case you want to toggle between application windows. So just be aware that they’ll be able to see everything. And then you just click here when you’re ready to stop sharing.”

When Y/N turned her head toward him to check that he understood, Spencer grabbed the side of her face and caught her lips in a kiss. Y/N smiled against his mouth, heart speeding up as he traced the seam of her mouth with his tongue.

“Um, Dr. Reid? Your um— your camera’s working now.”

Spencer nearly fell out of his chair, his cheeks about the color of the Leave Meeting icon. Y/N dropped her head, debating whether she wanted to laugh or let the earth open up and swallow her whole. She ultimately decided to compose herself, stepping back and giving a little wave to the sea of tiny, grinning zoom faces before slinking out of frame, miming sorry to one very mortified professor.

⧭⧭⧭

“Would you want to be our mystery reader next week?” Y/N asked, bookmarking the page of her novel and reclining back in bed. “You just have to pick a story to read. Oh, and think of four clues about your identity to give the kiddos.”

Spencer raised his eyebrow, continuing to read. “Any story?”

Y/N laughed. “Well they’re six, so maybe hold off on the Chaucer and Bradbury for now. A picture book would be preferable.”

“Did you know that the first picture book, Orbis Sensualium Pictus, or Visible World in Pictures, was published in 1658?” He looked up from his own book. “Czech educator John Amos Comenius wanted to create a book that would be accessible to children of all levels of ability. The educational theories he explored are actually still in practice in the field of early childhood education.” He turned toward her from his spot under the covers. “For example, when you have your students make a hissing sound and slither their arms when they produce the sound represented by the letter s? Comenius included an alphabet chart with various animal and human sounds representing each letter. He wanted to demonstrate that the incorporation of multiple senses could help increase learning.”

“I guess you don’t fix what isn’t broken,” Y/N mused. “300 years later, and we’re still using the same methods.”

“362, actually,” Spencer corrected.

She gave him a look. “Maybe we can save the Comenius for another time.”

“The genre of children’s literature encompasses some of the most profound and philosophical story telling of all time.” Spencer returned his attention to his reading.

“...So is that a yes?”

Spencer smiled. “I’ve got a book in mind.”

“And clues,” Y/N reminded him, snuggling down under the covers and reopening her book. “We need some fun clues, mystery reader.”

…

“Kindergarten, we have a very special mystery reader this week. Oh man, are you ready for the first clue? The mystery reader loves jell-o! Raise your little hand if you love jell-o, too. Okay, kindergarten, I see you! Lots of jell-o lovers in the house.”

…

“Okay, clue number two! Our mystery reader works as a community helper— remember we learned about all different kinds of community helpers; firefighters, nurses, police officers. But if the mystery reader could be anything, they’d want to be a cowboy! How cool is that?”

...

“Clue number three for our mystery reader!” Y/N sucked in a gasp. “You guys. The mystery reader can do magic. Oh my goodness, I am so excited for Friday,” she sing-songed. “Will they show us a trick? Hmmm, I don’t know. Maybe if you ask nicely.”

…

“Okay, my friends, the last clue. The mystery reader loves reading. They read every day, and they’ve been reading since 1983! Yes, that was a very long time ago.”

⧭⧭⧭

“Okay, any last guesses about who our mystery reader might be?” Y/N questioned.

“I think it’s your dad,” a little voice called out.

Spencer made a choking noise from where he sat, slightly off camera. Y/N laughed. “The mystery reader is decidedly not my dad, Keyshon. Remember I showed you guys the picture of him— my dad’s a farmer, so he’s kind of already a cowboy.” She clapped her hands together. “Okay, without further ado, drumroll please... Our mystery reader is…” Y/N pushed her desk chair out of frame to allow Spencer to roll in, holding her hands out. “Spencer!”

He gave a little wave, smoothing his hair, suddenly painfully self-aware and nervous about the opinions of two dozen six-year-olds. “Hi guys.”

“You’re the boy on Ms. Y/L/N’s phone.”

“Your hair is so fluffy!”

“Do you have a cowboy hat?”

“I like your sweater.”

“Can you really do magic?”

“What’s your favorite jell-o?”

“Whoa, okay, let’s remember our mute button,” Y/N, holding up her index card. “I promise you’ll get to ask Spencer all your questions after he reads the story.”

Spencer smiled at the excited faces beaming through the screen. “Yes, I’m on Ms. Y/L/N’s phone; I don’t own a cowboy hat, yet; yes, I really can do magic; and the red jell-o is my favorite.”

Y/N watched with interest as Spencer pulled out his book. He’d been secretive about his choice, so she was as curious as her students.

“This is one of my favorite stories. It’s written by Munro Leaf, and illustrated by Robert Lawson. It’s The Story of Ferdinand.” Spencer held the cover up to the camera. “Ferdinand is the bull here on the cover. This story was written in 1935, which was a long time ago! Okay are you ready?” Spencer looked out on a sea of thumbs up, turning the page to the beginning of the story. “Once upon a time in Spain, there was a bull, and his name was Ferdinand.”

Y/N smiled as she listened to Spencer read each page, recounting the story of the peaceful bull. He was an excellent storyteller, changing the inflection and expression of his voice to match each sentence. He held each page up for just the right amount of time, panning it so her students could see each detail of the black and white pictures. He added his own wonderings and exclamations here and there, and her students were decidedly enthralled. Her heart ached at how comfortable he was, how natural this was for him. She rested her chin in her hand, trying to keep her mind in the present— ignoring the persistent little mental image of Spencer as a dad.

“So they had to take Ferdinand home. And for all I know, he is sitting there still, under his favorite cork tree, smelling the flowers just quietly. He is very happy… And that’s The Story of Ferdinand.” Spencer closed the book with a soft smile. “I love this story. Ferdinand is a very special bull. What do you think makes him so special?”

“Ferdinand didn’t fight,” a little voice piped up.

“Yes!” Spencer agreed. “He practiced pacifism in the face of the persistent, ingrained militarism of his country’s culture.”

Y/N placed a hand on Spencer’s knee and gave a quick squeeze. “Right, Ferdinand chose not to fight, even though everybody else he knew wanted to.” Y/N winked at him before turning back to the screen full of kids. “All his friends thought he was kind of weird, but he just really wanted to hang out in the shade and smell the flowers, huh? Sounds pretty good to me.”

“He wasn’t bothered that the other bulls thought he was strange for wanting to be peaceful,” Spencer added. “Sometimes being different can be a good thing. The Story of Ferdinand reminds me that it’s okay to be yourself, even if other people think you’re weird.” His eyes met Y/N’s. “Because there will always be people who love and appreciate you for who you are.”

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