#and should not be responded to as though it's the gospel truth about how to consume gideon or tlt or any of muir's work

[ignitesthestxrs]

are you a kiwi? I'm american myself, but honestly feel like I haven't seen enough kiwis talk about the locked tomb (though i think im partly just missing most of the discourse anyway somehow??)..

if you ever feel like layin out some more thoughts ab tlt id love to read em! <3

i am a kiwi! there is a small but thriving kiwi sf/f community, but overall people are not...terribly online, or terribly into fiction lol. i definitely know there are kiwi fans of the series out there but in general i can imagine most of them simply not wanting to get into it. i don't really want to get into it! i just saw a reply on a post i reblogged and lost my mind about it for a couple of seconds.

as a pākehā/white kiwi i am like, both protective of these books, critical of them, and kind of ill-equipped to be the person criticising how māori characters and māoritanga/māori culture is depicted in them.

tamsyn muir is a pākehā author writing māori characters that she didn't initially identify as such getting like,,,increasingly more māori in depiction as the books go on and she learns more about the general consensus on how white people should write characters of colour. and those māori characters are involved in instituting, recreating, participating in a uh....very roman? sort of societal structure? and in the latest book there's this further māorification of Jod while also depicting him as a radical under fire from the government in a compound, and act which has both deep historical and very recent (2007!!)roots in aotearoa nz culture.

this māorification of gideon too with the prince kiriona stuff is also: something. what is it? i don't know. i don't think it's Cancellable Offense Bad, or even bad at all. but there's an overall freedom of mishmashing aspects of kiwi and māori culture into a broader sf/f context that muir has kind of taken it upon herself to perform, when ultimately it's not her who should have been the person who got to do it, you know? the structural racism of the global publishing industry means that a pākehā writer can step up onto that stage with an ease and popularity that a māori writer is going to have institutional difficulty accessing in the same way. do i think carl tor editor picks up these books if they're written by a brown author? idk man

and then on the flip side - this is a part of her lived experience too. as a pākehā writer, choosing to write, do you include your pākehā-ness? your kiwi-ness? choosing to do that, do you include your knowledge and understanding of te ao māori/the māori world? are you stealing or are you sharing? what is yours to share in the first place?

these are questions that i think every pākehā writer should ask themselves as they're writing and they're also questions that i don't think have a Correct Answer, or even an answer full stop. they're things that i think muir started asking around book 3 lol which is a very better late than never kind of thing, but it's also clear as the books go on that she's laying down her road as she runs on it, so to speak.

i think muir is Trying In Public, which is a deeply vulnerable thing to do, but also, she is right now a very popular pākehā writer introducing māori character and culture to a broader audience, many who have not encountered any of this before, in an environment where very few māori writers have an opportunity to do the same.

so when that broader american audience comes and picks up what muir has put down and then unthinkingly applies their own american cultural lens to what they have in their hands - it's weird, right? it's weird in ways that many (i generalise - not all, obviously, there are also many americans who do have global context) americans can't understand, because those americans don't live in a world where they are outsiders on the global stage. even americans who understand that the rest of the world is not america have not necessarily experienced that in a way that is intrinsic, intuitive.

the world is shaped by america, either by its presence or by its absence. so when a pākehā writer creates māori characters and uses te reo māori/the māori language in her work, which then gets read and used and consumed by an american audience as though it is a creation that belongs in their worldview - it becomes disconnected entirely from the source muir borrowed, or stole from, or grew up with. it forces the conversation into this place of whether or not the americans playing with this particular doll know what they're doing or where the doll came from or why it's a doll anyway, instead of like, why has muir made this doll and should she have and are there other people making dolls, or are other people making different things entirely.

links to some sf/f by māori writers:

THE DAWNHOUNDS by Sascha Stronach

LEGACY by Whiti Hereaka

WATCHED by Tihema Baker

PŪRAKAU, ed. Witi Ihimaera and Whiti Hereka

GUARDIAN MAIA

[rucbarthatbowtiesarecooldw]

Saturday Afternoon Session

Conducting Gary E Stevenson

All Glory, Laud, and Honor

David A. Bednar

Be Still and Know that I Am God

Inner Spiritual Stillness of the Soul

Be Still = focusing on the Savior

Truth faith is focused in and on our Lord Jesus Christ

Spiritual stillness = the opposite of inner turmoil

A proper foundation ensures that the structure will remain sturdy and stable over time – requiring an attachment to bedrock.

We build the foundation – the Savior is the rock upon which we build

Faith is built upon the Savior

Sacred time and holy places are the same – focus your time and attention on God and His heavenly Plan

Sometimes being still means on the inside not the outside

Jesus is not the foundation He is the Rock upon which we build.

We may be perplexed by our trials and circumstances, but we will never be in despair.

The gospel doesn’t keep you from trials, but allows you to deal with them with the help of the Lord

Massimo De Feo

My physical sight is not good – what about my spiritual vision? Do I need any treatment there.

Can you see Christ spiritually, not physically? Or are you like the pharaseees?

We keep a clear spiritual vision when we focus on Jesus Christ and stay true to what we know to be true.

What we know to be true: Love God and love your neighbor as yourself. Don’t listen to the voices in the world that say that loving everyone isn’t reasonable/necessary/possible.

Declare your testimony in its entirety; don’t let anyone silence you

We keep a clear spiritual vision when we hear the voice of the Lord and allow Him to guide us.

Keeping a clear spiritual vision is about focusing my sight always on Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ is the answer for everyone

God Loved Us So He Sent His Son

Brent H Nielson

Witnesses of Christ

There has never been a better time to be a member of the church than today

335 operating and announced temples!!!

You should leave the bubble

The truth of God will go forth everywhere

You and I are witnesses

Gathering israel has both missionary work and family history work

We are armed with righteousness and with the power of God in great glory

Jose L Alonso

Where do you find peace?

If we put the Savior at the center of our lives, we can find peace

Feeding 5000 men – plus women and children (Matt 14:21). Jesus gave thanks to his father, he was grateful rather than complaining that was all they had. 

Solutions to our trials often don’t come from ourselves – but in God

“Imagine how much love he has for us if Christ was looking for peace and solitude, and he welcomed everyone to heal and help them”

When we encounter challenges, turn beyond them to Christ, and trust in his help

Even when looking for peace and solitude, Christ focused outside of Himself and welcomed everyone to heal and help them!

Adopting a Christ-centered perspective helps us turn trials into victories

Christ is a Healer, and we are ever-present in His mind and heart

Praise to the Lord the Almighty

Gerritt W Gong

194 years since the restoration of the gospel!

Things will work together for our good

Sometimes we just need to have someone there when we’re upset – and that someone can always be God

Trusting the Lord can include trusting Him with our suffering and anger and misery

When we work together for good, we minister as Jesus Christ would

Spiritual First Responders

Going from neighbors who bring cookies to trusted friends

What happened there and then can bless us here and now

Michael T. Nelson

We can be trustworthy, beloved leaders of youth like Helaman and the stripling warriors: build relationships with them, council them, support them

Parents have a primary responsibility for teaching their children

No one serves in the church alone

Heavenly Father wants us to reach out to others, including the youth

Help them learn who they really are through how you feel about them

Follow promptings, even though we’re not perfect, to build relationships of love and trust

No program can replace the influence of loving, covenant keeping adults

How Great the Wisdom and the Love

Quinten L Cook

My focus should be on the Savior and on the Saviors Atonement

We are all children of a loving Heavenly Father

The Savior is the Keeper of the Gate

And He is the one who also pleads in our behalf

Being one with Christ = loving and building community

Requirements for baptism are uniquely simple – repenting before God

D&C 25 basic doctrine of the restored Church

All are invited to partake of the Lords Goodness and all are alike unto God

None are forbidden

All accountable persons are required to atone for their sins

All have a choice – all have agency

Essential to the plan of salvation

All are able to use their agency and ACT

Exercise our moral agency to choose Christ and keep His commandments

2 Nephi 26:33

Both poor and rich have the same spiritual requirements

Many things occur of which we have little to no control

There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.” - Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Without agency we could not learn, progress, or choose immortal life

We Will Sing of Zion

[leonbloder]

Religion & Science Are Not At Odds

The multitude of studies that have been done over the past few years to determine the cause of so many people identifying as having "no religion" reveals that one of the main reasons is that religion (and Christianity in particular) is "anti-science."  

There's some truth in that assessment, to be fair.  

Because I travel in the Christian lane of religious thought, I can speak with some authority about what I have observed firsthand, and the anti-science voices within Christianity speak loudly and frequently enough to verify that assumption. 

Many Christians assume (because that's what they've been taught) that the Bible should be taken literally, even the parts that weren't taken literally by the originators who passed them down thousands of years ago. 

Perhaps unknowingly, Christians who adopt this stance have entered into a centuries-old debate that goes back to St. Augustine, who wrote about this in 415 AD.  

Augustine wrote that to believe the book of Genesis was a factual account of the creation of the cosmos did violence to the Gospel.  He went on to say this: 

If they find a Christian mistaken in a field which they themselves know well and hear him maintaining his foolish opinions about our books, how are they going to believe those books in matters concerning the resurrection of the dead, the hope of eternal life, and the kingdom of heaven, when they think their pages are full of falsehoods on facts which they themselves have learnt from experience and the light of reason?

I've always found it interesting that many thought leaders within the "literally true" camp love to refer to St. Augustine to bolster their theological beliefs, but they always seem to leave out his writings on biblical literalism.  

Why am I writing about this today?  Well, I feel like this is one of those topics that deserves some deeper thought by all of us.  Our world is becoming increasingly divided over issues like this, and we must know how to respond. 

Some of us struggle to answer our friends, co-workers, and loved ones who might believe Christianity is a "one-trick-pony" regarding "foolish opinions about our books."  

We don't know how to counter the arguments of people who claim that they reject religion because it is incompatible with science.  So, most of us go silent.  We don't have to, though.  

Some sixty years ago, the philosopher Alan Watt had this to say about the science/religion conflict: 

The clash between science and religion has not shown that religion is false and science is true.  It has shown that all systems of definition are relative to various purposes, and that none of them actually “grasp” reality. 

The fact is there is enough mystery to go around within the spheres of both science and religion.  Each has its own foggy regions that are unknown, and each struggles to grasp reality.  

As it turns out, God defies all of our attempts to explain God. 

You can be a Christian and embrace science.  A great many texts from the Bible that so many Christians want to take literally were not meant to be.  The truth within them transcended the "facts," and the authors were fine with that. 

You can also be a science-minded person and embrace Christianity.  Christians are not single-minded on biblical literalism; many believe in embracing the considerable truths within the mystery of our faith. 

May we find new ways of knowing and seeing grounded in the mysteries of what we don't know, even as our faith seeks understanding.  

And may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with us all, now and forever. Amen.  

[stpaullutheranchurch]

march 19 2023

2023 Lent 4, March 19th

Old Testament: Isaiah 42:14-21

Psalm: Psalm 142

Epistle: Ephesians 5:8-14

Gospel: John 9:1-41

Sermon Text: John 9

Sermon Title: “Do you see”?

Grace to you and peace, from God the Father and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.

From our Gospel text this morning; “Jesus answered, it was not because this man sinned, or his parents, that he was born blind, but that the works of God might be displayed in him”. (John 9:3) “And there was a division among them”. (John 9:16b) “And they reviled the blind man”. (John 9:28a) “You were born in utter sin … and they cast him out”. (John 9:34) “Jesus said to them, if you were blind, you would have no guilt; but now that you say, We see; your guilt remains”. (John 9:41)

The last two Sundays, we have heard Jesus’ speak of the need to be born again (in John 3) and to worship God in spirit and truth. (in John 4) Today, He encounters a man born blind and brings him from darkness to light; both physically by giving him physical sight, but more importantly spiritually, by bearing witness to Himself as both Son of God and Son of Man.

I am sure you have heard the term Karma. It is a term used quite frequently in our culture. For example, whenever something bad happens to someone, their opponents/enemies often say it is karma, meaning they are suffering because of something they did wrong. To speak of it briefly, karma is basically the idea that what goes around comes around, that in this life, people always, eventually get what they deserve.

But Karma is not a Christian idea at all; it is an eastern or Hindu idea which is also related to reincarnation; another non-Christian idea that denies the bodily resurrection. For example, in this philosophy, people who are born in extreme poverty or with a severe illness or disability are seen as suffering for something they did in a previous life.

Again, this way of thinking is not biblical. Recall how much Job suffered, losing almost his entire family and all of his property, even though Scripture called him “blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil”. (Job 1:1b) Jesus deals with this in another context as well, when He is asked about a tower that fell and killed 18 people in Jerusalem. Jesus responded, “Do not think that these were worse offenders than all the others who dwelt in Jerusalem … but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish”. (Luke 13:4b-5) So, we should not automatically assume that because something bad happens it is a direct result of a particular sin; sometimes things happen because we live in a fallen world.

Therefore, in our text this morning Jesus clearly condemns this idea that had also crept even into the disciples’ way of thinking. “As He passed by, Jesus saw a man born blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him, Rabbi, who sinned; this man or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered; It was not that this man sinned or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him”, (John 9:1-3) delivering the man from physical and spiritual darkness. So, God is at work in the lives of His saints, even when things are not the way we would like; even through illness, suffering, persecution, and the like.

Jesus continued, “We must work the works of Him who sent Me while it is day; night is coming when no one can work. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world. Having said these things, Jesus spat on the ground and made mud with the saliva. Then He anointed the man’s eyes with the mud and said to him, Go and wash in the pool of Siloam … so he went and washed and came back seeing”. (John 9:4-7)

You might think that this healing would make many people happy, but that was not the case. The man gave credit to Jesus for his healing, but shortly afterwards, “they brought to the Pharisees, the man who had formerly been blind. Now, it was the Sabbath day when Jesus made the mud and opened his eyes”. (John 9:13-14) “Some of the Pharisees said, this Man (Jesus) is not from God, for He does not keep the Sabbath. But others said, how can a man who is a sinner do such signs? And there was a division among them”. (John 9:16) In the previous chapter, some of the Jews had already taken sides against Him and “picked up stones to throw at Jesus”. (John 8:59a)

They continue their interrogation of the man born blind. The Pharisees are not looking for the truth, they are looking for a way to blame Jesus and trying to drag this man into their scheme. They had ruled out giving Jesus any credit for something good, so they tried to discredit the testimony of the man Jesus healed.

Many of the “Jews did not believe the man had been born blind and then received his sight, until they called the parents … who said, We know this is our son and that he was born blind, but how he sees, we do not know … ask him, he is of age. He will speak for himself. His parents said these things because they feared the Jews, for they had already agreed that if anyone should confess Jesus as the Christ, they would be thrown out of the synagogue”. (John 9:18-22)

Sadly, even his own parents, who knew what had happened, did not defend their son because of fear of being thrown out of the synagogue. The Pharisees continue to intimidate “the man who had been born blind and said to him, Give glory to God. We know this Man (Jesus) is a sinner … He answered … one thing I know, I was blind, now I see”. (John 9:24b-25) Here you see the cost of following Jesus. All he did was passively receive healing from Jesus and now he is the enemy of nearly everyone; denied by his parents and attacked by the religious authorities.

The pharisees again ask the man how he was healed and he responds with confidence/courage and even a bit of sarcasm; “I have told you already and you would not listen. Why do you want to hear it again? Do you also want to become His disciples? And they reviled him”. (John 9:27-28a) They claimed, “we know God has spoken to Moses, but as for this man, we do not know where He comes from”. (John 9: 29) They hated this man, simply because he testified of Jesus.

This saying amazed the man who continued to speak of what Jesus had done for him. “You do not know where He comes from and yet this Man opened my eyes … Never since the world began, has it been heard that anyone opened the eyes of a man born blind. If this man were not from God, He could do nothing”. (John 9:30, 32-33) This new believer did not whither under the attacks of the Pharisees, but rather grew stronger.

This was too much for the Pharisees, “They answered him, You were born in utter sin and you would teach us? And they cast him out (of the synagogue)”. (John 9:34) When Jesus heard what had happened, He found the man and said to him, “Do you believe in the Son of Man? He answered, and who is HE sir, that I may believe in Him? Jesus said to him, you have seen Him and it is He who is speaking to you. He said to Jesus, Lord, I believe, and he worshipped Him”. (John 9:35b-38) Moments earlier he had confessed Jesus as a prophet from God, but now he worships Him as Lord and God.

Jesus said, For judgment I came into the world, that those who do not see may see and that those who see may become blind”. (John 9:39) Jesus came to save the world, but those who reject His salvation also bring everlasting condemnation upon themselves. Knowing that Jesus had spoken these words against them, “some of the Pharisees said to Him; Are we also blind”? (John 9:39-40)

They did not like the direct answer that Jesus gave them. “Jesus said to them, if you were blind, you would have no guilt, but now that you say, we see; your guilt remains”. (John 9:41) They stubbornly insisted that they were right and that everyone else was wrong about Jesus. If they had simply acknowledged their spiritual blindness, Jesus would have healed them too; but since they refused His gracious gift, they remain in their sins. The same is true for any of us who refuse to admit their need for Christ.

All of us are naturally born enemies of God; spiritually deaf and blind; unable to see and hear and believe the Gospel on our own. But God sent His only Son to this wicked world to redeem sinners; to purchase and win the forgiveness of their sins by His atoning death on the cross. He graciously offers salvation, the forgiveness of sins and the gift of eternal life through the hearing of His perfect, inerrant Word and the receiving of the sacraments; by the power of the Holy Spirit. We who believe in Christ are a new creation in Christ Jesus.

Paul wrote that we all were at one time in the darkness of unbelief, but as a new creation, “you are light in the Lord. (So) Walk as children of the light, for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true … and take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness”. (Ephesians 5:8b-9, 11a) So, by daily contrition and repentance, we strive to live this new life in Christ, that He has given to us as a free gift. We do not make excuses for our spiritual blindless, but rather when we sin, we confess it and receive absolution. This is the free gift of God for all who believe in Christ Jesus our Lord. Amen.

The peace of God …

[misscrazyfangirl321]

I feel like we as Christians should be very careful how we respond to people who have religious trauma. I know that we hear it thrown around in contexts like “My parents made me go to Church as a kid even though I didn’t want to” so much that it feels a little like Tumblr using the word “gaslighting,” but-much like actual gaslighting-religious trauma is a very serious thing.

We should take it at least as seriously as anyone else does, if not more. Think about it: Someone who should have met the God we know-the loving God, the God who saved us-and instead, someone used His Words and His Name to harm them. 

Now, I’m not saying that God is loving but not just; He is loving in a way that calls people away from sin. Absolutely. We should not try to sell some cheap “God just wants us to be happy” version of the Gospel that waters down God’s incredible holiness and incredible grace. 

And yes, people’s faith should be in God, not in Christians, but we are called to be representatives of God on Earth. That means speaking the truth, but it also means never abandoning love. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth, yes. 

But never forget: love is also kind. 

[nerdygaymormon]

hey david i uhhhh got into a fight with my mom bc she said sth homophobic and i asked for an apology and she tried to justify it by telling me being gay is a subconscious choice made by people with sexual trauma and now i'm in my brother's room crying and could really use some love from someone who Gets It

Let's talk about your mom. This church taught her that there's no such thing as gay people, that all those gay people are actually straight and something happened to them. She heard this taught for decades. And if they would just want to be straight, and pretend to be straight, they would eventually return to being straight and have all the blessings of the gospel and get to live wholesome, productive lives.

Over the decades, when the Church makes changes in how it views and treats queer people, they don't make a big announcement. At some point they could no longer defend their ideas for what turns people gay, so they changed to simply saying they had no opinion on the matter. For at least a decade after the church said it no longer encouraged mixed-orientation marriage, local leaders hadn't heard the message and continued encouraging gay people to marry straight people.

While I don't excuse your mom, she has a queer child and should've been more interested in queer topics, I can understand why she made the comments she did. And those are really hurtful because she basically said you're defective and should be ashamed & seeking help to become "normal" like her and other straight people. It's totally dismissive of your identity and experience and the truth you know.

————————————————————

Let me speak directly to you.

Being queer is a gift. It brings a different and important way of viewing the world. Being queer makes you especially empathetic to others who are in emotional & spiritual pain. Being queer is as though you've been given more colors of the rainbow and that lets you create things that inspire and challenge the wider world.

Unfortunately, the world fears that which is different. And that which it fears, it oppresses. The fear comes from misunderstanding, and if they understood us, they would raise us up, not push us down. What we have to offer the world is more kindness, more peace, more art, more stories, more humor, more empathy, more cooperation.

God says that even though our parents might abandon us, God will never (Psalms 27:10). God is with us no matter what our church says (Isaiah 43:1). Being queer isn’t the problem, it’s the broken and defective way people respond to queer people. That is a reflection on them, not us, just as your mom's words are really about her and her beliefs, not any truth about you. In fact, what she said is the opposite of what any Christian should do if they are trying to love others.

You are loved, you are cherished, you are being cheered on, you are valued and a blessing

[sunflowerdjarin]

Fire Escapes

Pairing: Diego Hargreeves x Reader

Summary: “You know I don’t like heights, right?” + “Then why did you come out here?”

Warnings: Mention of heights, big mentions of commitment to all my fellow commitmentphobes

A/N: I did not plan this fic and you can tell

You sighed as you were greeted by Diego’s empty apartment as well as an open window in the kitchen. You climbed out onto the rickety fire escape, “You know I don’t like heights, right?” You muttered as you felt the metal shift beneath your feet. Diego sat with his back in the corner as if he wasn’t on a piece of metal from the 1910s that held him 30 feet off the ground. “Then why did you come out here?” Diego shot back with a lifted eyebrow as you sat next to him. He was dressed in his casual clothes, some loose fitting sweatpants and a faded t-shirt of some band. “Gotta face your fears sometimes.” You sighed as you sat next to him and sighed. “At least if we fall to our deaths on some fire escape that has violated safety codes for the past 50 years, we die together, right?” You looked up to the dark sky for a moment of comfort only to hear Diego’s light chuckle. 

“To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.” Diego mocked singed, which made part of you so elated to hear Diego’s voice, but the other part of you wanted to wince. “God, you listen to The Smiths? I might need to rethink this whole friendship thing.” You looked over at Diego with your eyebrows knitted together. “I listened to The Smiths in high school, but I do not like Morrisey.” Diego held up his index finger as an interjection. “That’s a big difference.” 

“Huge difference.” You lulled your head to the side to look at him. “Why are you out here?” You asked sincerely as the sound of the busy street in the distance buzzed on. “I just needed a minute for peace and quiet.” Diego answered as he kept looking forward, his pale white scar staring back at you. You nodded with a sigh as you caught an understanding of what he had meant. You began to move back towards the window before you felt Diego grab your hand, “Wait, I didn’t mean it like that.” He sounded distressed this time. Diego was never good at expressing his emotions and part of you believed he didn’t know how to even process them at times. 

“I know you didn’t. I’m just going inside to give you some peace and quiet. When you decide to come in we can talk about it or we don’t have to talk about it either. I’m just going to stick around until I know you’re alright.” You nodded at him and he responded with a nod as well as you slid in through the window. Diego felt a warmth spread across his chest as he sat on the fire escape alone. There weren’t many moments where people tried to understand Diego more than they just assumed that they understood him. You and Diego hadn’t been seeing each other long, but yet he saw that you at least tried to understand him. He sat on there with the cool wind greeting his body from all angles, but everything that plagued his mind started to fade away as he heard your footsteps through his apartment. There was a level of comfort in knowing that you were always there with good intentions for him. 

He shifted his body to peer into his apartment to see you sitting on the counter as the coffee maker next to slowly dripped out fresh coffee. He smiled softly to himself as he watched you swing your legs gently making sure not to hit your feet against the cabinets below you. Diego leaned his back against the metal again and took in a deep breath as he listened to the sounds of the city in the distance before climbing through the window. “I’m making coffee.” You said innocently as you remained on the counter. “A man just crawled in through the window and all you’re going to say is that you’re making coffee?” Diego looked at you quizzically as he walked towards you. “Considering you are the one who pays the bills here, I think you should be the one concerned that there’s someone in your kitchen making coffee.” You shot back as you leaned forward and gripped the edge of the counter. 

“I can let that slide considering they are very cute and they make a decent cup of coffee.” Diego replied as he walked up to you on the counter and leaned into you. You immediately took him into your embrace. Diego sighed as he felt one of your hands rub gentle circles on his back and the other one playing with his hair. He could feel himself melt into the embrace. You pressed kisses onto his forehead that was partially exposed as his head found its way into your neck. Diego could feel himself let his guard down. He wasn’t on his toes and ready for a fight. He wasn’t putting up his emotional barriers. He was here, in this moment with you. He was vulnerable and exposed, but he felt safe. He was yours for the safekeeping and you accepted it with open arms. 

He leaned back just far enough so that he could look you in the eyes, “Are you okay?” You took hold of his face scanning for any inconsistencies and evidence that he might not be. “Yeah, I’m perfect.” His voice was warm and inviting, you only heard this tone when it was just him and you. Diego was articulate in everything he said or did even considering his impulsive tendencies. He noticed how you were still looking at him unsure of what he said was the truth. “I have a lot on my mind, but you seem to clear it up anytime you’re around.” He added on in defense which made you smile a little bit. 

You kissed Diego’s forehead gently and Diego could feel the ghost of your lips as he rested his head back into your forehead. His arms moved to scoop you off of the counter. “Where are we going?” You protested as you felt the cool counter disappear from underneath you. “To bed.” Diego said confidently before you pointed to the window. “You left the window open though.” Diego placed you down onto your feet as he moved to shut and lock the window. He looked back to see you pitifully looking at the coffee still in the coffee pot. “I’ll drink it in the morning.” Diego spoke as if he was reading your mind. “It won’t be fresh in the morning though.” You rebutted. 

“Yeah, but it will still be a coffee made by you which automatically makes it good.” Diego tried to bribe you, desperate to get into his warm bed with you. You sat there for a minute before dumping it out, “I’ll make you a fresh cup of coffee in the morning. I’d rather waste it than have you drink stale coffee, Diego.” He listened closely to how his name tumbled from your lips. He had always had mixed feelings about his name. He wasn’t gifted with a name until he was nearly 5. The name Diego felt so personal to him as it was gifted to him from Grace, but at the same time he couldn’t help but feel reminded that even from the day he was born he was given a number that ranked how useful he was. When Grace spoke his name it truly felt like his name. When you spoke his name, it felt like gospel. He felt deserving of his name. It was his and it was the only way you knew him, you never knew number two, you only knew Diego. 

“I mean… If you moved in…” Diego toyed as he moved in to hold you again. You turned your head to look at him skeptically. You knitted your eyebrows together, “Are you asking me to move in?” You weren’t expecting this to happen tonight of all nights. You only stopped by Diego’s since you knew he had a long day. Diego staled for a second as he scanned your eyes looking for any unsurity. He could feel the insecurity building up and questioned if he mentioned the idea too soon. “W-Would it be such a bad thing?” Diego flinched at his stutter. He felt a whirlwind of emotions building up in him. You moved in closer to him, you held his cheeks in your hands which caused Diego to finally open his eyes to look at you. He was afraid he was going to be met with a sympathetic look, or even worse a pathetic look. Instead, he saw nothing but warmth and love. It was everything he needed and everything he wanted. “It wouldn’t be a bad thing, not in the slightest.”

[free-pool-trash]

folklore - isaac lahey {5/?}

hey! this part is honestly mostly angst? like i think the start of it is ok but the rest is angsty as hell, because pre-bite isaac <333

mostly isaac/reader in this chapter and a little Derek towards the end, also peter but mans can’t talk yet so idk if he counts?

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!! reblogs and comments are so appreciated <3

word count: 4k

warnings: blood, sad thoughts, reader being sad, isaac being sad, mentions of abuse, swearing

FOLKLORE MASTERLIST

Taglist: @makeusfreefromthisfandom​, @cece-lives-here​, @chocolate-raspberries​, @belsandthings​, @dancing-tacos-23​, @truly-dionysus​, @britty443​, @tanyaherondale​, @furiouspockettoad​, @yunsh-17​, @random-thoughts-003​, @gloomybrieyxb​, @futuristicslimemongerbanana​, @linkpk88​, @big-galaxy-chaos​, @im-a-stranger-thing​, @riaisnotcool​ let me know if you’d like to be added <3

The lights in his room were dim as they always were when you walked in. It’d been nearly two weeks since you’d last visited Peter, between becoming a vampire and trying not to get in a fist fight with Derek every five minutes you hadn’t had the time or energy to visit your favourite Hale.

When your eyes fell on him a strange feeling settled over your chest, you couldn’t quite put your finger on the sensation but if you had to describe it in one word; unsettling. It didn’t deter you from sitting in front of the man the feeling was coming from, though. If you were trapped in your own body you’d probably feel a little unsettled too.

Not wanting to waste anymore time you sat down in your usual seat across from Peter, shaking the feeling off as best you could before giving him a pleased smile, “Long time no see. I’ve got so much to tell you…” You trailed off, shaking your head when you caught yourself waiting for him to reply.

“First of all I got attacked by a werewolf which sucked and now I’m a vampire which, coincidentally, also requires a lot of sucking.” Silence.

“And I made some new friends, which is cool- Isaac got a little jealous but it’s fine, I handled it. I feel bad keeping him in the dark about all of this but I just want to keep him safe y’know?” Of course you received no answer, opting to continue filling Peter in despite his usual lack of response.

“Your nephew has been driving me crazy, by the way.” You informed him, letting out a grunt at the thought of how annoying Derek had been over the last few days, “He’s got this tough guy thing going on, I think it’s just to psych Scott out honestly, which is fine! But it’s the fact that he’s keeping it up with me as if I haven’t known him for seventeen years!” 

If Peter had control over his body you knew he would’ve laughed at your annoyance towards his nephew, he always had. Whenever Derek teased you growing up, it was always Peter that you’d go running to.

“Uncle Peter!” The man sighed at the sound of your shrill voice, closing the book he’d been reading out on the porch as you ran up to him with an angry pout on your face.

“What’s up, kiddo?” He asked, opening his arms as you threw yourself into them. You let out a puff of air, settling yourself on Peter’s knee as he sat on the porch steps. “Derek said that because I’m only six I can’t play basketball with him and his friends!” You whined.

Peter only scoffed, his arms pulling you close as he raised an eyebrow, “Don’t worry, sweetheart. They’re idiots, each and every one of them.” 

There was always something about uncle Peter, he had a certain tone of voice that made anything he spoke sound like gospel. If Peter said it, you believed it. That was just how it was, thinking about it now you figured that your attachment and high level of trust in Peter probably had something to do with the fact that he’d practically initiated you into his pack when you were so young. Truth be told, he was the hardest loss of the Hale’s for you to come to terms with because even though he hadn’t died he’d still been lost.

You twiddled with your fingers as your thoughts began to wander, getting the hang of heightened emotions wasn’t so easy now that you were sat in front of Peter, or what was left of him. You hadn’t noticed the tears that had built up in your eyes until they began to sneak down your cheeks, slipping down your chin and coating your neck with their salty stream.

All you could do was imagine that he was more than an empty shell, that he was himself and listening intently, that he was just waiting for you to finish before he offered his sage advice.

“I really wish you could tell me how to handle all of this.” You sniffled out, pressure in your chest growing as, for once, it was the weight of your own emotions weighing it down. 

Since being turned you hadn’t gotten a chance to stop and breathe or really even think about what was happening to you, living in a constant state of confusion, fear and loss. 

“I just feel… so lonely that I can hardly breathe sometimes-“ Your breath hitching stopped your confession in its tracks while your tears continued to fall freely down your face, there was no point in trying to wipe them away- you’d broken the dam.

Your watering eyes focused on the ceiling as you poured your heart out to the man who was essentially your second father, despite the fact he was more or less completely unresponsive you still couldn’t bring yourself to meet his empty gaze. 

“Nobody knows what I am, really. And it’s like I’m all on my own and nobody knows how to help me or- or anything!” Eventually you met his eyes and it was then that your feeling of sorrow grew considerably bigger, the pang in your heart sinking all the way down to the pit of your stomach as a new layer of tears replaced the ones that had just fallen down your cheeks.

“I’ve upset you.” You stated, heart racing at the fact you’d managed to upset Peter Hale himself.

Quickly you wiped your tears away, your face was still wet as you took a deep breath, shaking away the feeling that was eating you up. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be crying I just- I really need someone to talk to, you know? Usually I’d go and rant to Isaac but I can’t tell him anything and it’s killing me but everyone told me not to and I also told myself not to… it’s a mess. I’m just so lost.”

Peter, as usual remained quiet, but there was something in his eyes- it was quick and barely there but you’d seen it. They’d flashed red. 

*

After you composed yourself, you left Peter’s room and made your way to school, you’d woken up early to visit Peter.

As soon as you entered the building your feet moved quickly towards your locker, you sorted your books out as fast as you could before making your way to Isaac’s locker. Your meeting with Peter had shaken you up and honestly, in the moment, you just needed your best friend. 

As usual when you arrived by Isaac’s side you alerted him by gently tugging on his sleeve, you didn’t know why but he was extremely nervous, to the point where you felt your own stomach beginning to turn. Even though you’d sought him out for your own comfort you discarded that plan as soon as you met his eyes, he needed to be comforted more than you did right now.

“What’s wrong?” You immediately blurted out, grabbing his free hand that hung by his side unlike the other that held his locker door open, knuckles turning white from how tightly he clung to the metal door.

Isaac only shook his head, he gave you the smile that he always gave you, the one that screamed “please don’t worry about me” but you knew better than to believe that smile because as gorgeous as it is, it’s fake.

“I’m okay, don’t worry.” He squeezed your hand in an effort to deter you, but yet again, you knew better. 

Letting your eyes roll, you furrowed your brows, “Seriously, tell me what’s bothering you.” You demand not missing the defeated look that fell on his face when he hung his head, brown curls falling over his eyes, “Nothing, (Y/n). Just the parent teacher conferences are happening tonight…” He trailed off as he shuffled his feet.

The realization of why he was so nervous about it hit you like a ton of bricks and you didn’t care who was watching when you threw your arms around his shoulders, pulling him into you with a sigh. “How is it gonna go?” You asked, already knowing the answer would be: not well.

Isaac’s arms held you against him tightly, stabilizing you as you had to stand on your tiptoes to get a good grip around his shoulders, ever since he’d had his growth spurt when you were both thirteen if you wanted to hug him properly you’d always need to get on your tiptoes. He wouldn’t lie though, he thought it was the cutest thing. 

“I’ve got a C minus in Chem.” He muttered against your neck, tightening his grip on you for dear life, you both knew Mr Lahey wouldn’t be pleased. 

With a little grin, in an attempt to lighten the mood you pulled your head back to look your best friend in the eyes, “Should we dip? Run away? Move to France?” The question was made with humor but you were really considering the thought of just dragging him out of the school’s double doors and flying away to somewhere sunny where the pair of you wouldn’t have to deal with any of the shit you have to deal with in Beacon Hills. 

Isaac gave you a sad smile, connecting his lips to your forehead quickly with rosy cheeks before disconnecting from you, “I think that would probably make things worse.”

Before you could respond Isaac shut his locker and spoke again, “Anyway, what had you so upset a few minutes ago?”

Deciding that today wasn’t the best day to confide in him you simply offered him a sad smile and weak explanation.

“Just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Wanted a hug.” Isaac let out an airy laugh, tilting his head to the side with a smile.

He beckoned you in for a side hug, “Get in here.” Immediately you obliged, attaching yourself to the boy’s side as the pair of you walked towards your first class of the day.

All you hoped was that his anxiety didn’t get the better of him today or later on when his father confronted him, so, as any good friend with supernatural abilities would, before you parted ways you made sure to transfer some much needed relaxation onto the boy who was positively teeming with fear. For now, it was all you could do for him without exposing yourself, you prayed it was enough.

*

As the day drew on your mind drifted from your conversation with Peter to your conversation with Isaac constantly. Understandably. You needed to get on top of your heightened emotions and you needed to do it fast, because to put it simply; you were drowning.

But like you mentioned to Peter, nobody knew anything about anything, not even Deaton could tell you how to gain control or even tell you the full extent of your capabilities. The loneliness was what hit the most. It was that empty, distant, ever-sinking feeling that was slowly but surely swallowing you whole. Scott had Derek, not to mention Stiles, to help him figure out everything he needed to know, an experienced wolf and a loyal best friend to walk him through everything, to support him, to keep him grounded, to tell him the dos and don’ts of being a wolf.

What did you have? An unwavering loyalty to a member of a pack who was barely even alive? Half baked theories from books of lore that your parents managed to dig up from some dusty corner of the attic? Derek who spent all of his time focused on Scott despite a member of his own pack being in obvious distress? A best friend you can’t confide in because he’s just as broken as you are? It didn’t seem fair.

The bite turned you to a vampire instead of a wolf, every night you wondered why you’d taken this form when seemingly nobody else had ever been turned by wolf bite, the conclusion you’d come to was that it was just some sick karmic joke. A test of endurance that you weren’t sure if you were going to pass. The universe spotted you- hand picked you as it’s favourite love-sick, hopeless romantic with a heart too big for her body and with a soul that felt emotions as vast and deep as the ocean. It chose you, but the gag was you never wanted it to be you. For once, you wished someone else had won the prize that felt more like a curse.

It was all too much. You felt too deeply. Every emotion consumed you, every sound vibrated like bass from a speaker, every touch sparked like static and every beating heart made you hungry. But every time you even so much as pondered simply giving in to the feelings, of letting go of that rope that seemed to be holding your empathy close and letting it fall away, every time you entertained those thoughts that voice, from the first night, would ring through your skull and echo until you agreed to the words being spoken by the oh so familiar voice. Don’t let it kill you.

Scott had been nowhere to be seen all day, nor had Allison, it was only when you’d spotted Stiles sitting alone at lunch that you’d realized that the wolf and his girlfriend probably ditched. 

The final bell eventually signaled the end of the school day, solemnly you walked alongside Isaac towards the doors of the school, stomach twisting with anxiety knowing that the next time you’d be seeing him he’d more than likely be barring a new bruise or emotional scar.

��Can I drive you home?” You asked, hoping he’d say yes but understanding when he shook his head no, “I cycled here, I’ll take my bike. Thank you though.”

You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, looking at him with worry clear on your face, it was all you could focus on and you were half sure he could feel it too, your efforts of masking it failing.

Isaac could feel the worry seeping off you, but even before you’d turned he always had a knack from knowing when something was on your mind. He knew all your tells, when you were worrying about something you’d bite your lip and furrow your eyebrows, when you were upset you’d wring your hands together or play with your fingers, he knew how you were feeling whenever you were feeling it purely because of the mannerisms you used when you were around him. It’s how he knew that you’ve been hiding something from him since you’d been attacked, the boy didn’t know what it was but he saw it weighing you down, he was determined to get to the bottom of it so he could be there for you. He let out a heavy sigh when he realized in the moment that the roles were reversed and with the way you gazed at him he knew you wanted to be there for him, like you always were.

“I’m gonna be okay, nothing that hasn’t happened before.” He finally spoke in an attempt to reassure you that there was nothing to worry about but his statement only served to upset you more and he silently cursed himself as he watched the corners of your lips sink downward. “It shouldn’t happen ever.” You told him softly, trying your very best to keep your composure when you heard your voice crack.

Glancing around quickly, Isaac grabbed your wrist and tugged you towards your car, knowing how much you hated getting upset in front of people he took the initiative to carry on the conversation in the confines of your car away from the rest of the prying students.

Once you were both situated in the front seats, Isaac spoke up, “I know that you hate seeing me hurt, I know it shouldn’t be like this but it is. I’ll survive, you need to stop worrying about me so much, (N/n).”

“You don’t deserve this.” You muttered, sorrow dripping from each word. 

“(Y/n)-“

“No Isaac! You don’t deserve to be treated like this! Every time I see you hurt it makes me so fucking angry because when you tell me what happened you say it as though you had it coming! But you never do, you never have it coming!” The words left your mouth in a high pitched string of cries as Isaac simply lowered his gaze to his lap, hating how your voice shook in agony for him.

With every word you spoke you became more and more worked up, tears trickling down your face freely now that all the cars in the parking lot were more or less gone. “And every single time I wish I could do more for you- I wish that I could make you see what I see.” Your confession was fragile, the words barely audible as they passed your lips.

Isaac lifted his head, his own eyes welling up, “You have no idea how much you do for me so don’t think like that.” He demanded, his tone far more assertive than you’d ever known it to be.

His hand met your face, gently but quickly, his palm cupping your cheek while his thumb brushed away your tears. For a second, you closed your eyes, imagining the feeling of his hand cupping your cheek happening under better circumstances before reconnecting your eyes with his.

“I’m gonna go home.” He told you, sad smile on his lips as you shook your head, gripping the wrist of the hand he still had placed on your cheek desperately. “Stay.”

“I’ll come over to yours tonight ok? But you have to let me leave.” When you didn’t move, he sighed and pulled his hand away from you himself, trying not to wince at the hurt look on your face.

Your best friend opened the car door and stepped out, leaning in with an arm resting against the top of the door with a look on his face that you couldn’t pinpoint, that feeling had returned to your chest though, the light and flowy one. “Love you, kid.” His lips formed a cheeky grin when the nickname caused you to smile, he hadn’t rubbed the fact he was two months older than you in your face recently, you should’ve seen it coming. Finally allowing yourself to give him a weak smile you gave him an equally as weak, but still meaningful, “Love you too, idiot.” Before he shut the car door and made his way towards his bike.

*

To put the cherry on top of an already stressful day when you got home Derek was waiting at your dining table expectantly. The first words leaving his mouth being, “Where’s Scott?”

You rolled your eyes at him, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a blood bag out of your fridge, Stiles had been sweet enough to fill some bags for you since you were both still trying to work out the whole euphoric feeding situation, feeding on Stiles on a school night usually meant Stiles being completely away with the fairies the next morning and obviously you needed to feed during the week. Blood wasn’t as tasty cold but as weird as it was to admit, it still slapped.

Taking a sip from the small straw sticking out of the bag you raised an eyebrow at the wolf in front of you, “I dunno, Derek. Where’s my hello?” 

“This is serious.” He growled, “So am I.” You rebutted, taking another sip as the man grew more irritable.

He didn’t answer, only growled at you, he was probably hoping you’d buy into his ridiculous power play. You didn’t, obviously.

Nonchalantly, you lifted yourself up onto the counter of the kitchen island, facing Derek and sipping your blood happily.

“Growl at me all you want, D. Scott might buy into your big bad wolf act but I remember when you used to watch Barbie movies with me every single day.” You told him matter of factly, “Things are different now. Scott needs my help.” At his statement your carefree demeanor faltered. You needed his help, but not once since you’d been bitten had the man you considered a brother offered you even a morsel of support but yet here he was in your home, asking for a beta he barely knows.

“If Scott was around today would you have come to see me?” You asked him, keeping your voice as steady as you could.

Derek shook his head as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “No, because I’m looking for Scott.”

Slowly you nodded your head, allowing his words to sink in. Today had been emotionally draining, sure, but you couldn’t find the strength within yourself to leave this alone.

“So where exactly am I on your supernatural list of priorities? Or am I even on it at all?” The question was harsher than you intended but Derek had a fairly hard head, if you wanted to get a point across you sometimes had to be a little less than gentle with the delivery.

The wolf groaned, head falling back in exhaustion, “Can we not do this right now?” 

Slapping the now empty blood bag down beside you and crossing your arms, you glared, “Answer my question.”

He gave you a hard look, standing up from his seat in what you assumed was an attempt to intimidate you, “I’ll admit you’re not my top priority right now, alright? Scott needs me, you’ll be fine.” A humorless laugh left your lips as you jumped down from the counter, squaring up to the taller man before you with absolutely no fear.

“Are you sure about that, D? Cuz last time I checked, Scott has Allison and Stiles and Deaton and you telling him exactly what to do and when to do it. I have no one.” Derek bit his tongue, his jaw clenched and lips pursed before he gave you a response, “He needs all the help he can get. Your abilities aren’t as difficult to get the hang of as his are.”

“Oh yeah?” It was a challenge, not only had he managed to piss you off and upset you at the same time, he’d also managed to erase the pain of your own transition in favour of defending Scott. 

Derek sighed, the voice in his head telling him to step down when he noticed your fists clenched tightly into balls against your side, “Look (Y/n)-“ He started before a gasp ripped from his throat when you arm gripped his.

The anger, the fear, the pain, the loneliness, the confusion, the weight that came from feeling everything all at once, you made him feel it all, not releasing your tight grip on his bicep until he’d looked down at you with tears glazing his eyes.

Roughly, you ripped you hand from his arm, purple eyes glowing as you stood chest to chest with him, “Maybe if you bothered to check up on me you’d know that my shift wasn’t easy, I don’t have the hang of my abilities and every single morning I wake up and think about how much easier my life would be if I just let them destroy me.” You were seething, Derek’s face was painted in shock as he stood at a loss for words.

“But hey! By all means go help Scott. What’s pack loyalty anyway?” Your words were seeped in venom and as soon as they left your mouth you took advantage of your enhanced speed, running from the room only leaving a gust of wind and an emotionally overwhelmed Derek in your wake.

[larktb-archive]

Hi! I'm too shy to come off anon, but I need your help understanding something. I hope I'm not bothering you!!

I don't want to interact with anyone who is a fascist, but I'm not entirely sure what makes someone fascist. Can you please explain it to me?

I know I could look it up myself, but I know that not all definitions online can be correct and I just want your perspective;;

Thanks!

Hi anon! Well, fascism comes in many forms so “sussing out who’s a fascist” is technically a little harder to do than having a simple checklist. After all, doesn’t a White Supremacist have different beliefs to a Japanese fascist? And doesn’t a Japanese fascist have different beliefs to a Wahabist? These beliefs clash don’t they? Well, yes and no. Sure the surface level beliefs are different but the underlying core beliefs of these groups are actually quite similar; it’s the specifics which are different. Even though it isn’t a “bible” on what is fascism and shouldn’t be taken as gospel, Umberto Eco has an essay called “Ur-Fascism” which contains 14 points, which can help us identify whether certain beliefs are fascist no matter the specifics of their belief system. I’ll explain the points in short and give some examples. Quick disclaimer, I am not an expert on fascism or any of the ideologies I’ll discuss by any means so if you aren’t taking Umberto Eco’s writing as the 100% correct truth, definitely don’t take mine as that either (this is how you should treat most sources tho):

1. Cult of Tradition and 2. Rejection of modernity

I put these two together because they’re kind of inseparable. This is basically the idea that there was a “glorious past” that people need to return to and modernity is a corruption of that “glorious past”. In British fascist thought, this past is generally the 19th century at the zenith of the British Empire or mid-20th century Britain. The latter is more common for people who wish to be a little more PC with their writings; instead of trying to use a by-gone era that pretty much no one alive can remember, they use a much more recent time with nostalgic ideas of “the good old days” which doesn’t seem threatening on it’s surface but is dogwhistling for a time when there weren’t as many immigrants in the country.

You may have seen the “reject modernity, embrace tradition” meme and it’s pretty much the most obvious incarnation of this idea. Similarly you may seen people online use “degenerate” as an insult. If you look at the meaning of the degenerate it means “having lost the physical, mental, or moral qualities considered normal and desirable; showing evidence of decline”; it’s microcosm of these ideas put into a single insult. This is why you tend to see conservatives use it more than progressives.

I’d also argue that terfs obsession with 2nd wave feminism and their utter rejection of intersectionality and modern feminism is another manifestation of this idea. 

3. Action for actions sake

This is less detectable in terms of individuals but still important to note that these people tend to support action without a cause. Sure the insurrection at the white house earlier this year was action, but it had no substance behind it. It was action for actions sake, which is why any principled leftist didn’t support it. Fascists will tend to openly just call for action but won’t be very specific about the purposes of the action; as long as they agree with the ideology behind it they’ll support it. It’s why fascists love harassment campaigns and mindless acts of terror. Take Wahabist terrorist orgs like Al-Qaeda or ISIS, it doesn’t matter if bombing an Ariana Grande concert has no point, the only point is the action itself.

4. Disagreement is treason  

This one’s pretty self explanatory, they will ostracize you if you disagree with them. Again, terfs tend to do this, and I had a long conversation with an ex-terf I called a dumbass, who basically said that she was ostracized by them and mocked for having different beliefs (hope she’s doing well actually). There’s numerous stories from ex-terfs like this.

5. Fear of difference

There’s a tendency for fascists to group people into “us” and “them”. “They” are considered to be intruders who need to be removed whereas “we” are the people who deserve to be here because it is “our” right to be here. In Zulu Nationalism, this tends to be any non-Zulu speakers who they deem to be “Shangaan” even if they aren’t actually Tsonga, it’s just a pejorative at this point. If you see vague references to the “elite” without any reference to who they are and what makes them “elite”, this is tends to be a dogwhistle for Jewish people. Western Fascists have very little issue with the workings of capitalism itself or the accumulation of wealth by capitalists, they just don’t like “them”, taking “our” stuff. Any references to “us” and “them” is pretty much a red flag.

6. Appeal to Social Frustration

Fascists will tend to brush upon actual issues faced by the poor today but will instead blame it on an outside force. You’ll see job loss being blamed on immigrants or vague “elites”. Terfs do this too. They’ll see young girls who are genuinely struggling with patriarchal issues and divert all that pent up rage towards trans people and the “q*eers” (which they do tend to use as a slur unlike what most people would have you think). 

7. Obsession with a Plot

Everything is a conspiracy! The election was rigged! 9/11 was fake! that fucking pizza place/this furniture company is a sex ring! All of these are supposedly plots by the deep state who are trying to do... something or other. You’ll notice these “Plots” don’t actually have a purpose, but the fact that there is a plot itself is the issue. This is a way of engendering paranoia in the group while also feeling that there is a constant war against you even if there isn’t. This is also why, despite news sources being pro-capitalist the right will swear up and down it’s leftist media which is controlled by “them” (usually just meaning Jewish people).

8. The enemy is both strong and weak

“Trans people have infiltrated academia and the only reason people refuse to see gender as an immutable biological concept, is because they’re too afraid of the trans cabal to say anything. But also everyone can tell trans people are crazy and haha you have a high suicide rate.” It’s contradictory that’s the point. They need to feel that they’re both counterculture but also they need to be winning at all times so that contradiction is necessary. Also the use of the word “cabal” is a pretty big red flag for all forms of fascism.

9. Pacifism is trafficking with the enemy, 10. Contempt for the weak, 11. Everybody is educated to become a hero and 12. Machismo and weaponry

All of these are kind of interrelated so I’m grouping them together (also this is already fucking long as hell so I don’t wanna bore you any further). You’ll tend to see a love for the military or at least military aesthetics when looking through fascist blogs. Guns aren’t just a tool for fascists, they’re representative of masculinity and the necessity of violence. Pacifists and anyone who refuses to fight are weak and therefore are “degenerate”. If you do not fight, if you are not willing to fight, you cannot be a “hero” (an ubermensch or a matyr). This comes with the fetishization of violence instead of the recognition of violence being an means to an end, and the worship of individuals rather than of communities and organizations. Take Japanese fascists and their lionisation of the imperial military and their desire to once again have an actual army.

Terfs don’t necessarily fit these roles except for arguably 10 considering how much they seem to look down upon the mentally ill and those who commit suicide and surprisingly 11 since that involves the hatred of non-standard sexual activities and terfs hate non-standard sex (this is from the most vanilla bitch who is very uncomfortable with kink but understands its not inherently good or bad). I have a feeling this is more so because terfs are mainly women (there are male terfs ofc) whereas this was written for male led organizations. 

13. Selective populism

When fascists talk about “the people” they tend to mean “the people we like”. “The working class” can be translated to “this cishet white christian man from Minnesota who owns land but hey he lives in a rural area so he’s working class right?”. They’ll also tend to have “tokens” who will suddenly become the mouth piece of the entire community they’re supposedly representing even if no one in the community asked them to (i.e. Milo Yiannopoulos). 

14. Ur fascism speaks Newspeak

They speak in terms which are both inaccessible to anyone outside of their circles whilst being so simple that once you learn them it becomes easy to understand. They abhor any form of “academic” speech so you’ll rarely see them source things (unless those things happen to agree with their views, which is rare but Jordan Peterson is popular for a reason) and if they do source things they probably wouldn’t have read them fully and will rely on you also not reading them. This is to limit any critical thinking so that your brain is basically jellified into an unquestioning organ which only responds “yes” or “no” and only appeals to a higher authority without any form of reasoning involved. This is why they complain about “the lefts memes being too wordy”... because they’re used to not having to read (this is somewhat tongue in cheek but heyho if the boot fits).

And that’s the 14 main features of fascism, if anyone is displaying multiple of these ideas then they are most likely fascist, and if an organization or group continuously replicates these ideas, then they are definitely fascist. I hope this wasn’t too long but like I said... very complex topic. (Also hopefully this is written well, it’s 10 PM and I am surviving off Irn Bru energy drink). Hope this helped!

[hobbitsetal]

“Give all you have and follow Me”

Dear anon,

You asked me, in the course of asking about another of Jesus’s parables, “also when he says that you cannot be a desciple without giving up everything we own.. like are we actually meant to give up everything we physically own?”

Since you asked about a parable in Luke, I’ll quote Luke’s account of this interaction also. Google tells me it’s found in Luke 18:18-30:

“And a ruler asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone. You know the commandments: ‘Do not commit adultery, Do not murder, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother.’” And he said, “All these I have kept from my youth.” When Jesus heard this, he said to him, “One thing you still lack. Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” But when he heard these things, he became very sad, for he was extremely rich. Jesus, seeing that he had become sad, said, “How difficult it is for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God! For it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.” Those who heard it said, “Then who can be saved?” But he said, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.” And Peter said, “See, we have left our homes and followed you.” And he said to them, “Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, who will not receive many times more in this time, and in the age to come eternal life.”

The question, I think, is “is it wrong for a Christian to own things?”

The short answer is “no.” The longer answer is you have to use Scripture to interpret Scripture; that is, passages like this one have to be understood within the greater context of Scripture as a whole. What else does the Bible have to say about owning things? and particularly about Christians owning things?

I’ll pull out a few things from the New Testament for you, since one might perhaps make the argument that Old Testament wealth was under the Old Covenant and not the New Covenant.

Joseph of Arimathea comes to mind. He was a wealthy man who gave up his tomb to bury Christ’s body. Nowhere in the text does anything indicate that Jesus had a problem with him being rich. In fact, because he was rich, he could afford a tomb.

Acts 4:34-37 illustrates the Christian attitude toward possessions well, I think:

“...and there was not a needy person among them, for as many as were owners of lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold and laid it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need. Thus Joseph, who was also called by the apostles Barnabas (which means son of encouragement), a Levite, a native of Cyprus, sold a field that belonged to him and brought the money and laid it at the apostles’ feet.”

But does this mean we must sell what we have and donate it to the church? Well, no.

Further on in Acts, 16:14-15 to be specific, we learn of a woman who took the apostles into her home. “One who heard us was a woman named Lydia, from the city of Thyatira, a seller of purple goods, who was a worshiper of God. The Lord opened her heart to pay attention to what was said by Paul. And after she was baptized, and her household as well, she urged us, saying, “If you have judged me to be faithful to the Lord, come to my house and stay.” And she prevailed upon us.”

Nothing is said of Lydia selling her home or her business. Purple, in Biblical/Roman times, was a very expensive dye, so mentioning that she sold purple goods was a way of saying she was rich. And she used the wealth to practice hospitality and to give the apostles a place to stay. She’s never mentioned again in the Bible.

There’s also James 4:13-15, one of my favorite passages:

“Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”“

James doesn’t condemn people for trying to make money; he reminds them that everything we have comes from the Lord.

So. I could go through more passages, but I’m trying to condense a book into a tumblr post, so let’s just summarize how I understand the Bible’s teaching on owning stuff overall and Jesus’s point in this passage.

The rich young ruler came to Jesus asking what he could do to earn salvation. Jesus reminded him that no one is good and reminded him of the Ten Commandments, to which the ruler answered that he’d kept all of them.

That’s a heck of a claim to make. James says, “For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become guilty of all of it,” and Paul says something similar in...Romans? Personally, I fail the First Commandment daily: “Thou shalt have no other gods before Me.” 

You wanna know how many times I fail to prioritize God as I should? Enough times to make me grateful that He is a God of grace.

Yet Jesus doesn’t call him out on the height of this claim. He doesn’t even choose now to elevate the Law as He does in the Sermon on the Mount, when He equated hatred to murder. (I’m screwed on that count.) Instead, He tells the ruler that the only thing he needs to do to be righteous, to earn heaven, is to give up his wealth.

Jesus is God. God knows all things, including our thoughts. I’m convinced that Jesus knew already how the ruler would respond to this challenge. He knew that the ruler loved his wealth and what he had more than he loved and desired God.

That’s really it, anon. What do you love most in this world? What are you willing to give up for the sake of the Lord? If obeying God meant breaking up with your s/o, would you? If obeying God meant telling the truth when it would hurt you to do so, would you? If obeying God meant sacrificing some creature comforts?

There’s a pastor named Brad Bigney who preached a sermon series and wrote a book, both titled “Gospel Treason.” Bigney defines idolatry (or having a god before the Lord) as “anything you are willing to sin to get, or you are willing to sin to keep.”

If being rich or owning something is more important to me than anything else in the world, that’s a problem. That is a sin. That is what Jesus condemns in this passage.

Everything we have, from the breath in our lungs to the money in our bank account to the people in our lives, is a gift from God. Everything we have ultimately returns to God. There’s nothing wrong with me having money. In fact, it’s a very good thing that I do because I’m able to use that money for God. This isn’t my money; it’s God’s money. So when I make decisions about what to buy or not buy, I make those decisions to honor God to the best of my ability.

My parents bought a boat and a vacation home. They’ve used that boat and that home to bless other Christians: to take them out on the bay and to give them a beach getaway that would otherwise be too expensive. My parents have used their wealth and their physical possessions to feed souls and bring rest to the weary.

Nice clothes, books, quality furniture: there’s no sin in having these things. Indeed, owning something that will last for many years is usually a wiser use of money than buying something cheap that will need replacing, though it’s not always a feasible choice for people.

It always comes back to the heart: what do you value? What do you trust? Are you secure because you have money in the bank? Or are you secure because you trust Jesus when He says He will provide for what we need?

If you lost everything tomorrow and you were out on the street with the clothes on your back, could you say with the apostle Paul, “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.“?

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

Jesus and Little Children

by J. C. Ryle

And they brought unto him also infants, that he would touch them: but when his disciples saw it, they rebuked them. But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein. - Luke 18:15-17

Let us observe, for one thing, in this passage, how ignorantly people are apt to treat children, in the matter of their souls. We read that there were some who "brought their little children to Jesus so he could touch them and bless them, but the disciples told them not to bother him." They thought most probably that it was mere waste of their Master's time, and that little children could derive no benefit from being brought to Christ. They drew from our Lord a solemn rebuke. We read that "Jesus called them unto Him, and said, Allow the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not."

The ignorance of the disciples does not stand alone. On few subjects, perhaps, shall we find such strange opinions in the churches, as on the subject of the souls of children. Some think that children ought to be baptized, as a matter of course, and that if they die unbaptized they cannot be saved. Others think that children ought not to be baptized, but can give no satisfactory reason why they think so. Some think that all children are regenerate by virtue of their baptism. Others seem to think that children are incapable of receiving any grace, and that they ought not to be enrolled in the Church until they are grown up. Some think that children are naturally innocent, and would do no wickedness unless they learned it from others. Others think that it is no use to expect them to be converted when young, and that they must be treated as unbelievers until they come to years of discretion. All these opinions appear to be errors, in one direction or another. All are to be deprecated, for all lead to many painful mistakes.

We shall do well to get hold of some settled scriptural principles about the spiritual condition of children. To do so may save us much perplexity, and preserve us from grave false doctrine.

The souls of young children are evidently precious in God's sight. Both here and elsewhere there is plain proof that Christ cares for them no less than for grown-up people. The souls of young children are capable of receiving grace. They are born in sin, and without grace cannot be saved. There is nothing, either in the Bible or experience, to make us think that they cannot receive the Holy Spirit, and be justified, even from their earliest infancy. The baptism of young children seems agreeable to the general tenor of Scripture, and the mind of Christ in the passage before us. If Jewish children were not too young to be circumcised in the Old Testament dispensation, it is exceedingly hard to understand why Christian children should be too young to be baptized under the Gospel. Thousands of children, no doubt, receive no benefit from baptism. But the duty of baptizing them remains the same. The minds of young children are not unequal to receiving religious impressions. The readiness with which their minds receive the doctrines of the Gospel, and their consciences respond to them, is matter of fact well known to all who have anything to do with teaching. Last, but not least, the souls of children are capable of salvation, however young they may die. To suppose that Christ will admit them into His glorified Church, and yet maintain that He would not have them in His professing Church on earth, is an inconsistency which can never be explained.

These points deserve calm consideration. The subject is unquestionably difficult, and one on which good men disagree. But in every perplexity about it we shall find it good to return again and again to the passage before us. It throws a strong light on the position of children before God. It shows us in general terms the mind of Christ.

Let us observe, for another thing, in this passage, the strong declaration which our Lord Jesus Christ makes about little children. He says, "Of such is the kingdom of God."

The meaning of these words no doubt is a matter of dispute. That they were not meant to teach that children are born sinless and innocent, is abundantly clear from other parts of Scripture. "That which is born of the flesh is flesh." (John 3:6.) A threefold lesson is probably contained in our Lord's words. To that threefold lesson we shall do well to take heed.

"Like such as little children," all saints of God should strive to live. Their simple faith and dependence on others--their unworldliness and indifference to earthy treasures--their comparative humility, harmlessness, and freedom from deceit--are points in which they furnish believers with an excellent example. Happy is he who can draw near to Christ and the Bible in the spirit of a little child!

"Out of such as little children," the Church of God on earth ought to be constantly recruited. We should not be afraid to bring them to baptism even in their earliest infancy, and to dedicate them to Christ from the beginning of their days. Useless and formal as baptism often is, it is an ordinance appointed by Christ Himself. Those who use it with prayer and faith may confidently look for a blessing.

"Of such as little children," the kingdom of God in glory will be largely composed. The salvation of all who die in infancy may confidently be expected. Though sin has abounded, grace has much more abounded. (Rom. 5:20.) The number of those in the world who die before they "know good from evil" is exceedingly great. It is surely not too much to believe that a very large proportion of the glorified inhabitants of heaven will be found at length to be little children.

Let us leave the whole passage with a deep sense of the value of children's souls, and with a settled resolution to "put on the mind of Christ" in all our dealings with them. Let us regard children as a most important part of Christ's professing Church, and a part which the great Head of the Church does not like to see neglected. Let us train them from their earliest infancy in godly ways, and sow the seed of Scripture truth in their minds, with strong confidence that it will one day bear fruit.

Let us believe that they think more, and feel more, and consider more, than at first sight appears; and that the Spirit is often working in them, as really and truly as in older people. Above all, let us often name them before Christ in prayer, and ask Him to take them under His special charge. He never changes. He is always the same. He cared for boys and girls when He was upon earth. Let us not doubt that He cares for them at the right hand of God in heaven.

[writing-in-the-tiny-house]

The Gift of Beta Readers

The Gift of Alpha Readers

If you wish to become a patron of Writing in the Tiny House podcast, please visit www.patreon.com/writinginthetinyhouse today!

The following is a transcript of this episode. For the complete transcript, please visit the show’s website.

[00:00:00] So you did it guys. You have written the next best thing and you are so eager to get this out into the world that you have revised it, you have combed through it, and you have all of these things ready, but nobody has read it yet. So what do you do next? Well, let's find out today on Writing and the Tiny House.

[00:00:26] Hello. Hello. Hello. And welcome back to the show. Welcome to Writing in the Tiny House. I am your host Devin Davis, and I am the guy in the tiny house who is here to show you, you busy adults working a nine to five like me, that it is completely possible for you to write that work of fiction that you have always wanted to do.

[00:01:06] And you should. I just recorded 20 minutes of audio and didn't actually record any of it. So we're starting over and it's fine. Because now I get to say the things that I didn't save very well the first time, and it's okay to start over. We're still learning some of this new recording equipment and that's okay too.

[00:01:26] But many of you know, because I announced in last week's episode that I have been working on some smaller things as a way to get my writing more available, to get my writing into the hands of people who are eager to read it and to do it faster than I could do if I were to just write a book just because the time to produce a book is much longer and there are a million different ways to share your writing with other people.

[00:01:57] So I have been working on some smaller things and I am working on them in conjunction with Krissy Barton from Little Syllables Editing. She is going to be the editor on call or whatever, the editor in this whole project of writing a collection of short stories or novelettes. And so with this, I am writing these smaller works, and I'm going to be releasing them on a schedule, provided all of this works out okay. Right now we are on track with this first thing. And so I expect everything to be okay. And I think that this is something that we can reproduce right now. All of this is tentative stuff though. Like this is not gospel truth yet, but in doing these shorter things, I still need to go through the different steps of writing and revising and cleaning up these smaller works of fiction as I would have to do with a book.

[00:03:07] But because the thing is shorter, all of those steps don't take as long to do, which is kind of cool. It's fun to blaze through some of these different steps a little faster, and to get that progress done faster, to arrive there more quickly. And with this, I also hope to have myself on a regular releasing schedule, which means that there is kind of a stopwatch going for each of these projects.

[00:03:35] And for this first one, I am hoping more than anything. And I am taking a leap announcing this on the podcast that this will be ready for sale by the end of October. I'm going to post it on amazon.com and it will be available to purchase there. It'll be affordable. Don't worry about that. But I wanted so badly to share my writing and I think that I'm going to do it.

[00:04:00] So what I'm doing is this collection of short stories ties into the larger books that I am also in the middle of that I have set aside for the moment. So the world that all those things take place in these smaller short stories will tie into that same world. And this collection is called Tales from Vlaydor, and this is Installment One, which is entitled Brigitte.

[00:04:29] And so, yeah, so we did it. We've written a manuscript. We've gotten, you know, a few revisions under our belts, but if you are like me, perhaps you don't outline things very well. I surely don't, I don't like to outline. I like to write and then make huge revisions to what I've written because I don't like to outline, but for this first installment, I did not get any feedback to begin with on the story itself. I wanted to sit down, I wanted to write the story, revise a couple of things just because I wanted to present it in a good way to a small group of people. So I sat down. I wrote the thing. I revised it a couple times. I sent it through Pro Writing Aid, which by the way, Pro Writing Aid is amazing.

[00:05:19] Especially if you are using Scrivener as your word processor, because it integrates into Scrivener. It was the easiest thing to do. I recommend sending anything you are working on through Pro Writing aid before you let anybody read it, just because the edits were easy to do. And because Pro Writing Aid made it easier to read.

[00:05:42] Everybody seemed to have a better time. Pro Writing Aid does not replace a professional editor, but it is a very good tool to use along the way. So I wrote the thing, I sent it through Pro Writing Aid, and then I gathered in a way, a group of people that I would want to get feedback on this first draft, I guess we can call it a first draft. On this first revision, I guess.

[00:06:09] And this is what we do, this is how we approach this. So I needed to get feedback because first of all, I needed to know if this was a story that anybody wanted to read. I wanted to know also if this was a story that people would be willing to buy, and I needed to know if after reading this, they would be interested in reading more.

[00:06:35] And if the results were such that, no, this story idea is not a good idea. You need to switch to something else. I didn't want to spend so much time and energy on something that nobody would want. And so I would sooner scrap the whole idea and start a fresh with a new story idea rather than try to simply make something work.

[00:07:04] And so, because I'm writing to market because I want this to be sold. And so I want there to be a certain audience appeal. I wanted to make sure that I was on track and on base with the very foundation of this story. So that's what I did first. And I recommend you doing the same thing with your shorter works of fiction also, or with your novels.

[00:07:29] So here's the deal. I'm sure that you have heard the term beta readers a million different times if you are engaged in the writer, community. Beta readers are basically the people who are doing product testing for your book. They get your book and you need to know that the book is working for them as books need to work for readers. Does it keep their attention? Is it easy to read? Is it entertaining? Can they keep track of characters? Can they keep track of places? Do they have a good experience? Are they surprised during the surprising parts? Are they scared during the scary parts, all those things.

[00:08:10] That is what beta reading is for, but there's a big step before that. Some people call it alpha readers. Some people call it, I don't know other stuff, but. I had this concept and I needed to make sure that the concept was okay. So I selected a few of my close friends and another person that I'll get into in order to share ideas.

[00:08:36] So I wrote this novelette called Brigitte. It is about 9,000 words long, and I included just some questions at the end as a prompt, as a way to help people give feedback. And I recommend that you do the same. In a novel I recommend actually that you include things like that in sections of the book, rather than just a big, long list at the end of the book, just as a way to get the gears moving so that people can be inspired or understand how to give feedback, just because, especially in this most recent round of feedback, I have found that so many people read just to be entertained and they don't read critically. And that is fine. And so the little bit of help for that is really good for them. And it's good. It's good to hear all sorts of feedback. I've also found that for many people. So with this story, the vast majority of the feedback was positive.

[00:09:45] People liked the story. It was pretty middle of the road, which is okay. But people liked the story. They thought that it was easy to read. It was easy to get to the end. They weren't confused by people or names or places. And so I took that as a good affirmation or confirmation that I was on the right track with this, and I should move forward.

[00:10:14] And that is great. With many of the people though, the feedback was simply, Hey, this is great. I like it. I would want to read more of things like this. And that feedback is valuable for a specific reason. If that is all they're saying, this is great. I want to read more. While that feedback is not going to help you iron out the kinks and dings and dents in your manuscript. And it's not necessarily going to help you with your craft. It can show you that producing work like this. There are people who want to support your craft. And that is very valuable. So even though the tools aren't there, even though the feedback isn't there to help you get better as a writer, it is really cool to know that people are there to support you as a writer.

[00:11:12] And like I said, that is valuable too. However, with a lot of people, they responded to the questions. And I liked that and I took notes and I paid attention. With those questions though, I found that with many of them, I didn't require seven people to answer each of those questions just because the same answers for many of those questions ended up showing up like seven different times.

[00:11:41] That's okay. We live and we learn. However, there were a couple peers a couple people that read it, took notes, re-read it. And then had a really long conversation with me about how it went about, what was working and what wasn't working. And I'll come back to that in just a second, just because people who are willing to put that type of attention and energy into my work, those are people that I hold near and dear. I mean, everybody who is supporting my work is held near and dear, but those are the people that I will go to with the first ideas, with the baby ideas that I need to grow from, the really underdeveloped things that need to grow that are still vulnerable and still scary and still underdeveloped. And working together we're able to come up with some cooler things for the next revision of this story. 

[00:12:47] With this, and I recommend this thing until the day I die. It is important to send your work, especially if you are writing to market, it is important to send your work to someone you don't know, or to many people that you don't know.

[00:13:02] When you are ready for that, you will know. I sent this first revision. I will likely try to find another person that I don't know to read this after this next round of revisions, but here's the reason why. The feedback that a stranger gives you is really hard to take, but it is super honest and it's usually really direct and it's really easy to understand, and that matters my friends.

[00:13:30] These people are not preserving a friendship. And so there is no holding back when it comes to what isn't working, what is confusing, what seems silly, but seems banale or stupid. I mean, what other words did this nice person include? But the points that this person brought to my attention were good points. It was clear that I had not conveyed so much of this story clearly.

[00:14:01] And like I said, because we weren't already friends, there was no reason to pretend like we were friends and try to sugarcoat anything. Most of the stuff that this person told me was really good and really valuable feedback. And so what I was able to do is take the key points from her feed back and talk about them with these other friends who were interested in helping me develop the story.

[00:14:29] So they didn't have to worry about stepping on eggshells. They didn't have to worry about offending. I got to say, oh, this other lady said this and this and this. And they're like, oh yeah, I guess that makes sense. And then we were able to discuss together ways to make it better. So with these conversations, some people tend to kind of freak out about it because they don't know how to have a critique conversation. So with these conversations, it is you and somebody else. And maybe a third person who are trying to improve a specific work. They're trying to make things better. If you or someone is coming to the table just in the attitude of saying this sucks. You need to leave it alone. You need to throw it away.

[00:15:16] Then you're not going to have this conversation with that person, but everybody has the common goal and the common understanding that this work is not finished and we are joining forces to make it better. The way that this conversation unfolds is much of the time the person will have notes. The person will have some ideas, but they don't really know how to get started about it just because Cohesion and hoping that everything links together and thoughts and different things like that.

[00:15:50] But this conversation is not going to be a dissertation. This conversation is not going to be like baring of souls. This conversation is largely brainstorming, which means a lot of the ideas and a lot of the topics don't have to mesh in the most beautiful way throughout the conversation. It's okay to jump from topic to topic.

[00:16:15] It's okay to say, oh, are we done with this? Because on the next page, this completely different problem is there. Let's talk about that now. And through those, I had two friends who were very interested in helping me improve this work of fiction. And that is exactly how the conversation went. They put aside an hour, we had a phone call and we talked about all the things that didn't work.

[00:16:42] And we talked about the things that this stranger critique partner brought to my attention, and we were able to iron out things and bring up some different ideas and some different approaches that I should try to incorporate into the next revision of this work. And that happened to me twice and it was beautiful and I felt enriched at the end and they were excited that they were included with this.

[00:17:11] And it was a really good thing. So I guess the takeaway here is when you are searching for feedback, it is important to help by supplying a list of questions. If it's a person who's already experienced with giving feedback, they likely won't pay much attention to those questions, but a lot of people don't read fiction critically.

[00:17:35] And so they they may need a little help with that. And that's great. Also, if you find those friends who are so engaged and so interested in helping you develop your craft, make sure to keep them near and dear. Take care of those friends. And lastly, If you have the people who say this is good, I want to read more, and then don't say much more than that. That means that you're on the right track and that what you have written is good. And while it may not improve your craft, it shows that there are people in the world who want to support your craft. So that's the quick take home for today. 

[00:18:24] Thank you so much for tuning in and listening to this episode. If you wish to become a patron of this writing in the tiny house podcast, go topatreon.com/writinginthetinyhouse. And I will have links to that in the show notes of this episode. Go ahead and follow me on Instagram. My handle is @authordevindavis and on Twitter my handle is@authordevind. And have fun writing. We will see you next time guys. Bye.

Check out this episode!

[lawrenceop]

HOMILY for The Baptism of the Lord (B)

Isa 55:1-11; Isa 12:2-6; 1 Jn 5:1-9; Mark 1:7-11

Many things have been missing since the pandemic began. Right now, for example, because our community is in self-isolation due to sickness, I am, once again, missing having people here in church worshipping God alongside us Dominicans. But I hope that at least some of those who are missing can be helped in however small a way by this livestream. But like so many other new measures being undertaken at this time, it’s all too virtual, too distant, and ultimately too inhuman and sometimes, even inhumane. 

For we are bodily, relational, physical persons, which is why we long to touch, taste, smell, feel, and hear. Sight and mental ideas, though important, we realise are just not enough, which is why a live-streamed Mass or Zooming in to ‘visit’ our grandparents is never sufficient but all too limited and limiting. If there’s anything we can realise more deeply in the midst of this pandemic, it’s that we are human beings, a unique combination of the bodily-physical and the spiritual-psychological, and so we need to be sustained, and nourished, and kept healthy in both body and soul altogether. Many of the debates and disagreements we’ve had at this time as Catholics have revolved around the unique difficulties of being human and staying humane, of serving both body and soul, of having a care for the whole human person. 

It seems to me that, although we can be grateful for the applications that our modern technology enables, nevertheless all our solutions, being solutions devised by other frail human beings and being dependent on soulless machines, are fatally limited. 

The reason we celebrate Christmas, and the focus of this Christmastide season which ends today with this Feast of the Lord’s Baptism, is all about God’s solution for humanity’s fundamental sickness, a pandemic that has plagued us since Adam and Eve sinned against the wisdom and goodness of God, choosing, somewhat irrationally, to follow their own limited knowhow to find happiness over and above God’s way, which is the way of self-giving love. God’s solution for the sickness of sin, therefore, takes into account our human condition, our human nature, which is a rational, intelligent, thinking nature, capable of knowing truth and of choosing to do good. God’s solution for the plight of humanity, therefore, is altogether perfectly humane and is perfectly suited to our being human. For our sakes, God became Man, and Christ, by his teaching and his actions, becomes God’s way to be human, teaching us how to be more genuinely human, more humane, if you will. Thus St Thomas Aquinas says: “to open the way to God for everyone, God willed to become man, so that even children could know and love God as someone like themselves; and so by what they can grasp they can progress little by little to perfection.”

So, God became Man in order to remove our sins, indeed, more than that, he comes to enlighten our minds with truth and to rectify our wills; to reform and remake us from within so that we are motivated not by our sinful desires, but by loving what God loves, and doing as Christ does. In other words, in the person of Jesus Christ, God comes to befriend you and me so as to make us friends of God. As St Thomas says: Man’s sickness consisted in falling into wanting and doing the wrong things, so “righteousness of the human will consists in the proper ordering of love, [and] rightly ordered love is to love God above all things as our supreme good”. So, “to excite our love towards God, there was no more powerful way than that the Word of God, through whom all things were made, should assume our human nature in order to restore it… because the strongest way God could show how much he loves man was his willing to become man for his salvation; and nothing can provoke love more than to know that one is loved.”

In fact, today’s Gospel makes it even more amazing. For God loves us so much that he’s not content to just become Man and so become the cure for our sins. More than this, God wants to become the cure for the natural end of our human condition, namely, God wants to save us from eternal death. And so we’re made, by Christ and through Christ and in Christ, into beloved sons and daughters of God! This is the beauty of the Incarnation, of the Christmas mystery that we have been celebrating, and it is at the heart of the Christian Gospel: that we should become sharers in the divine nature of God’s own immortal Son. 

And the way that God communicates this grace, this spiritual transformation, this renewal of mind and heart that elevates our human nature, is in a bodily, physical way because that is how human beings relate to things and with one another. So, through the Sacraments, beginning with Baptism, Jesus Christ touches us, moves us, embraces us, changes us, and indeed, unites himself to us so that we can be united to God. For at your own Baptism, the Father also declared: “You are my Son, the Beloved; my grace rests on you.” (Cf Mk 1:11)

One of the things that has been missing from our churches – one of the first things to be taken away, in fact – is the holy water at the entrance. In St Dominic’s, our stone holy water stoups are so large that they look like a baptismal font, which is fitting because the holy water that should be there points to the Sacrament of Baptism. Sadly, instead of the holy waters of Baptism, we now have sanitisers, and perhaps you’ve also absent-mindedly crossed yourself with this as you entered a church! 

But, once again, this man-made solution can serve to show us how very different and limited this is compared to God’s solution. At first glance there can seem to be some similarities: the sanitiser kills germs, and Baptism washes away sin. But this is only a very superficial similarity. For whereas the sanitiser only kills the bacteria and viruses on your hands, in the crevices of your skin, and so on, it merely acts on that which isn’t human and reacts with those things that are outside of me, on the surface of my hand. 

The Sacrament of Baptism, on the other hand, doesn’t merely wash over me externally. Rather, it acts on that which is human, acting interiorly on my rational soul, forming my human dispositions and making me more responsive to the Holy Spirit, more obedient to the Word of God, more humbly and trustingly Child-like towards God my Father. In a word, the Sacrament humanises me, by restoring my relationship with God and with other people, placing me within the communion of God’s friends that we call the Church. The Sacraments, because they are devised by God for us human beings, make us more truly human by making us more open to love. So the grace of Baptism, which is at work within us over our lifetime, makes me become more like God the Son, more Christ-like, more loving of God and his commandments, as St John says in today’s Second Reading.

However, something can still be missing, and that something is you and me. I don’t just mean that people are missing because they’re staying away during this pandemic, or because of Covid restrictions. I mean that people can be missing, even well before 2020, if they’ve not really wanted the Sacraments but treat it like a cultural rite of passage; if they’ve not really been engaged with the Christian life and its demands; or if they’ve not really been present to all the graces that God has been pouring out upon us. Tragically for many, the Christian life, which is a call to a living relationship of love with God, can lapse into something distant from my full human experience. So, to use a rough analogy, it can become a bit like being at a Zoom meeting but with my camera and mic turned off; or trying to have a party with friends via Zoom: it’s virtual, not quite real, because it doesn’t really touch me or change me as a human person. Consequently, what’s missing has been the whole human person, body and soul. And yet, it is for this full human encounter that God became Man, and that Christ continues to give himself to us in the Sacraments. 

So, this is vital: for the Sacraments to take hold and deeply work in us; for God’s grace to actually have a powerful effect in my life, then my disposition, my receptivity, my willingness to be changed by God, and to let him encounter the whole Me is needed. As St Augustine says, “God who created you without you, will not save you without you”. Because God acts humanely, and so he respects our human freedom, and he wants to save the whole human person in a humane way by inviting you and me into a relationship of mutual love with him. God does this through the Incarnation of his Son; through the attractive teaching and example of Christ; through the grace of Christ communicated by the material instrumentality of the Sacraments and the beauty of the Liturgy; and through the communion of Saints. So, if today you should hear his voice, harden not your hearts, but respond to his invitation, and give yourselves, body and soul, to this relationship of love. As the prophet Isaiah says, the Lord calls out to you and me in a way that engages us, body and soul: “Come… eat… listen. Pay attention, come to me; listen, and your soul will live.” 

If you’re not baptised yet, but thinking about it, come. If you’re already baptised, like me, then let's listen and follow Jesus more closely. For, as St Augustine says, thus we shall realise that “to fall in love with God is the greatest romance; to seek him the greatest adventure; to find him, the greatest human achievement.”

[deathvalleyqueen]

“I’m Pregnant” 

I saw this on a prompt list going around a while back and wanted to do this one, particularly for the twins, mostly because it would happen right before The Gospel of Mary Jane. This is considered part of the canon for Mary Jane’s story/world. 

Rating - M (swearing mostly)

TW: Pregnancy mention

Ship: John Seed X Mary Jane 

Word Count : Just under 2,800

The last place I expected to be was in a gas station bathroom, with my brother Jimmy and Mac outside of the door while I peed on as many drug store pregnancy tests as we could find in this podunk county. I couldn’t do this back at the farm house, or my parents home down the street. Someone would find out. Someone would tell John...or worse Joseph I reminded myself. With a heavy sigh I placed the last of the seven tests we had managed to find at six am on a Saturday morning, on the edge of the dingy sink. I pulled up my pants, washed my hands before walking right out of the bathroom. 

I was greeted by the confused faces of my two eldest brothers. Jimmy reached out and gripped my shoulders. “What are you doing?” He asked me as I tried to keep walking back to his truck. “You can’t just piss on them and walk away.” 

“I can and I will…” I declared trying to push past him only to be stopped by Mac. He tilted his head and looked at me like I was a puppy who had misbehaved. “Stop..” 

“You woke US BOTH up at five in the morning, in a panic because you had suddenly realized you hadn’t had your period in two months.” Mac physically turned my body around as I tried to dig the heel of my converse into the pavement to no avail. “Now go back in there and find out if you are fucking pregnant before you go hide in the laundryroom and get drunk...again.” I refused to budge, a scowl painted across my face. Mac let out a frustrated sigh. “For fuck’s sake, Mary Jane…” 

Jimmy pushed open the door and gestured inside. “If you are scared half-pint, then you know what. We’ll come look with you, right?” Jimmy asked wide at Mac who cringed at first at the thought of going into a bathroom with his little sister, but ended up nodding his head once I looked up at him with my big ‘please, big brother’ eyes. 

“Yeah, whatever… lets just find out if our family is going to be permanently fucking interwind with the shit show that is The Seeds…” Mac grumbled. 

I shook my head. “You know you used to like John, before Joseph came around.” I pointed out finally walking back into the bathroom. “Both of you…” 

“I liked the fact John was a free fucking lawyer.” Mac said as he placed his hands on my shoulders giving me a gentle push towards the sink. “And that Duncan money wasn’t bad either… but him as a person is a little shit.” Jimmy scowled over at Mac. Mac lifted his hands from my shoulders and put them up defensively. “Tell me that you actually liked John, Jimmy… tell me and I swear to fuck I will eat my boots.” 

“I wouldn’t say I liked him, but he has always been good to our sister so we don’t have room to say fuck all about fuck all.” Jimmy admitted with a shrug. 

I smirked as I pointed back at my eldest brother. “Jimmy, is in fact correct.” I laughed before all the laughter faded as my eyes landed on the first of the tests. A bright blue plus sign caught my eye. Then the word ‘Pregnant’ on the digital one. One by one I looked at each and they all said the same thing. 

My brothers caught the shift in my mood and the both peered over my shoulders. In unison the both declared. “Fuck.” I looked between them, each with a concerned expression on their faces. 

“Well, I mean.” I started nervously trying to find some silver lining in a situation I was not expecting to find myself in. “John is very good looking, the baby will be beautiful..” I muttered as I picked up the tests and put them back into one of the boxes before shoving it into my purse. 

“Yeah, the kid is gonna be cute as shit.” Mac agreed as I pushed past them both to walk towards the car. “MJ, are you okay?” Mac asked as he followed behind me. 

“This is not small news…” Jimmy continued. 

“It’s what Joseph wanted for us.” I mumbled. “He said as much before we left Atlanta.” I shook my head more to myself in utter shock. John and I had only ever briefly talked about the prospect of children and both of us had agreed it may have not been the best path for us. That was, however long before Joseph walked back into my husband’s life and changed the whole course of our lives and relationship. 

Jimmy slid in front of me and stopped me by grabbing my shoulders. “But what do you want?” His question was so weighted. “Do you want to have this baby?” His second one only more so. In truth I had no idea what I wanted more than just go home and talk to John. I wouldn’t even be able to gage what this was going to mean till I saw how John reacted. 

“I want to talk to John.” I whispered. “If he freaks out, if this triggers something in him… can I even in good conscience bring a child into that?” My voice shook as I spoke, tears welling up in the corners of my eyes. John was never violent with me, but he could be violent. My brothers both had seen it with their own eyes. He also had a temper and mood swings, which I had learned to deal with but a child adds so much more to the equation. 

“I know..” Jimmy responded with a soft smile. “John may change for the better though, like I did when Claire was born. She helped me calm my shit right now. Best thing in the fucking world to ever happen to me.” Jimmy had a point, one that I really hadn’t considered at that moment in time. I took a step forward and wrapped my arms around him hugging him tightly as I started to cry. “Eh, half-pint, none of this waterworks shit you are going to mess up my shirt.” He laughed trying to bring a little lightness back to the moment. 

“JImmy is right, MJ. Having a kid can really put a lot of things in perspective. For all you know. John and you popping out a couple of little Seedlings could really like to save him from his own self destructive bullshit.”  Mac shrugged as he made an over exaggerated ‘I don’t know’ face which did it’s intended job and made me chuckle as I lifted my head. “Peanut, you aren’t going to know anything till we get you home and you and John get the fuck out of that house and talk someplace ol’Joe isn’t gonna be sticking his nose in.” I nod slowly as I take a step back from Jimmy. 

His hands lingered on my shoulders as he looked down at me, “Doughnuts?” He asked with a smirk. “So John doesn’t think you ran out of the house at the ass crack of dawn for no reason.” I nod again as Jimmy motions for Mac to go get the car started. 

We did in fact go get doughnuts and brought some home as our grand excuse of why I had disappeared before anyone was up. As we walked in the house I could tell my absence had caused quite the commotion. John was pacing in the dining room, his hands raking through his hair. He hadn’t bothered to get dressed, just in grey sweatpants as he panicked. “Where is she? Where could she have gone. My tuck is still outside, I told you all this was too much for her, Joseph. You had to ease her into things slowly or she was going to crack. Now look. My fucking wife is GONE.” John was so wrapped up in his own panic he didn’t hear my brothers and I walk in. 

Joseph and Jacob however did. I held up the box of doughnuts for them to see with a nervous look on my face. “John…” Joseph started calmly. John wouldn’t acknowledge Joseph till he put his hand on his shoulder. “Turn around…” John’s slowly turned around. 

I smiled nervously across the room at him, “Hi baby…” I laughed through gritted teeth as I held up the box of doughnuts. “Do you want a doughnut?” I really don’t think the look on John’s face could properly be described by mere mortal language. His eyes were wide, his jaw clenched tightly to keep himself from saying something he would only regret as he very quickly stormed across the room. 

“Do I want a doughnut… Did you really just ask me that?” He grumbled as he reached where I was standing between my brothers. John snatched the bakery box from hands and shoved it towards Mac who scoffed, protesting his roughness was going to harm the doughnuts. It was not the wisest of choices, as John only snarled at him. “Would you just shut about the doughnuts.” He snapped as John took my hand. “You… upstairs… now.” 

“What did I do?” I protested as John started to drag me towards the stairs. “Babe, what’s the matter? Is this all because I left before you were up?” I asked softly, really worried that I was about to walk into a huge fight and it was going to be the worst possible time to tell John the ‘news’. 

Just as John was about to speak, Jimmy cleared his throat. “Johnny, if you are gonna be pissed off at anyone, be pissed off at me, I texted her because I was up and wanted to get out for a while… this is all my fault.” I looked back over my shoulder at Jimmy who just shrugged when I silently questioned why he just took the blame for me. 

John looked down at me, squeezing my hand to regain my attention. “Is that true?” 

“Why would we lie?” I questioned back softly as I pulled my hand away. “I can spend time with my brothers, they won’t let anyone hurt me. Especially not them two.” I nod my head back towards my brothers. John nodded slightly, still obviously upset. 

“I, just...Mary Jane…” John stammered as he reached out for me. 

With a heavy sigh I forced a smile. “Come on, let’s go up stairs.” I whispered, taking his hand. It didn’t take any coaxing at all to get John to follow. My brothers didn’t say anything, just took seats on the couch. I suspected they were going to wait around for a while to see if there ended up being any sort of fight between John and I before they left. 

As I set my purse down on the bed, debating if I should even have the conversation I really needed to have with John in that moment. He answered the question for me when he slipped his arms around my waist pulling me back against him and away from the edge of the bed. “Why did you real go?” He asked softly. I knew he knew Jimmy was lying. Jimmy has never historically been a good liar and John could read me better than anyone else. 

I took a long deep breath in as I leaned back against his bare chest. My lips parted as I tried to find the right words to start off this life changing conversation. “John.” I started as I turned around, his arms still round my waist keeping me close to him. With another long deep breath in I closed my eyes and decided to just get it over with. “I had my brothers take me into town to get a pregnancy test.” I paused and gestured back to my purse. “Well I think there are eight of them actually…” 

For a man as educated as John was, he was obviously confused by what I just said. “Pregnancy test? Why in the world…” He stopped himself as things started to click. His eyes grew wide as he took a step back letting go of me. ‘Wait, are you?” 

“I’m pregnant.” I was so scared to see his reaction, I had closed my eyes before I had spoken and kept them closed till I felt John’s hand on my stomach. I opened them to find John looking down at me with tears in his eyes. “Babe..” I muttered softly as I reached up and touched his face. “Are you okay?” 

John nodded slowly against my hand. “I just wasn’t expecting this.” he sighed and I tried not to laugh. It didn’t make sense to me how he didn’t expect this to happen. Particularly when he was the one who had talked me into going off my birth control at Joseph’s behest six months prior. 

“I don’t know how?” I shook my head as my hand slipped away from his face. “I haven’t been on the pill for six months, John.” John shrugged and I chuckled as I shook my head. “We are far from chaste, as well ya know. I am actually shocked it took this long for this.” I gestured to my stomach where his hand was still resting. “To end up happening.” 

“I know.” John mumbled. “I had hoped before it did we would be settled in a place of our own again.” I nodded along agreeing with him as my hand covered his. “Are you okay with this?” He asked looking into my eyes. 

I shrugged much like I had when my brother asked me the same question. “Do I have a choice not to be anymore?” John chewed on his bottom lip as he tilted his head to the side not wanting to answer that question. “I don’t, do I?” 

“You don’t want to have our child?” John asked, trying to deflect from answering my question. 

“I didn’t say that,  I just asked if I even have a choice to want something different. The answer is ‘No’ you could have just said it.” I pulled back from and John took a step forward trying to stay close to me. “I love you John, part of me is over the moon at the idea of us starting a family but I also am terrified bringing a child into all this. We are not the most stable people.” John scoffed and I shook my head. “We agreed not two years ago that the idea of us being parents was a disaster waiting to happen, what changed.” 

“We have family, we have the Project, we are not the same people.” He wasn’t wrong about the last part, those people were still inside us. I knew it and so did he. “We are going to be fine, this baby is going to grow up surrounded by so much love…” John promised as he gripped my hips pulling me towards him.

“And so many guns…” I muttered as I rested my hand on his chest. 

“There are far worse things for them to grow up around and you know this.” He wasn’t wrong about that either. I leaned forward and rested my forehead on his chest. “You said part of you is happy about the baby?” John asked and I mumbled ‘yes’ back to him. He moved one of his hand under my chin and coaxed me to look up at him. “Then be happy, I’m happy about this. It’s not what we would have planned for ourselves, but what if this is God’s plan for us?” He smiled as he leaned in. “Can we be happy? Please.” 

“Yes,” I muttered trying as best as I could to push down the nagging little voice in my head that was telling me this was just going to trap me here even if one day I waned to to leave. John would never let his child go, I knew this about him before we even had children. He had lost too much in his life, been hurt too much to ever simply let something as important as family slip away from him again. Instead of dwelling, I forced a bright smile as I pushed myself up on my tiptoes. “Let’s be the happy family…” I whispered as John leaned in to meet me in a kiss that sealed my fate to forever be bound to the Project at Eden’s Gate.

[krismusings]

Discord thread featuring: Roman and @quentindelancret

When: 12/28/20

Mentions: @malakhai-ozera

Description: Roman goes to Q’s place after Khai breaks up with him and of course lovey time ensues.

Trigger Warnings: sexy time, feels, breath play, weed.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

Roman was a mess, eyes stinging with tears, and cheeks rubbed raw from how many times he’d tried to wipe them away. Part of the actor felt like he should be okay with this, that Khai breaking up with him would only make things easier since he had feelings for other people. Instead, he just...felt confused. His heart had never been tugged in so many directions, but one thing he did know for sure, was that he needed to see Quentin. Now. He didn’t even shoot off a text, which I’m hindsight probably would have been a good idea in case the other male wasn’t even home. But, instead, here was Roman, pounding on his friend’s door and praying he would be there, because there was absolutely no one else who was going to make him feel better right now.

Quentin.

Monday night was usually the night Quentin set aside for recording. So of course he was home and slummed down in a pair of low hanging sweats and a beanie. He heard the knocking on his door and truthfully he got a little irritated. Who the hell was at his place wanting drugs now? Logan had gone to California and Q was in no way in the mood to deal with his addict friends. He pushed out of his chair and pulled his headphones down around his neck as he made his way to pull the door open.  His eyes lighting up with surprise when he saw that it was Roman standing there. “Romie” he beamed. His wide smile quickly wiping away when he saw his best friend had been crying. “Oh no... what happened? Are you okay?” He reached out and pulled Roman into his arms and held onto him tightly. Pushing the door closed behind him and leading him into his apartment. “It’s okay. I got you” he said with a soft comforting tone. Setting down onto the couch with him and stroking his hair.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

Roman practically crumbled against his friend once they made it to the couch, nuzzling his face against the side of his friend’s neck while he tried to relax against the fingers in his hair. Quentin knew exactly what made him relax, which was one of the main reasons he came here right away to begin with. He was the one person who was on his mind the very second he needed someone, or really in general these days. “Khai broke up with me.” The actor finally whispered, voice shuttering a little because it was the first time he’d said it out loud. “Which, I guess I knew was coming with everythin’ going on with both of us. I should be okay with this. I’ve been such a fucking asshole, and haven’t dealt with this the way I should, so why am I being such a baby?” He shook his head, and then pulled back to look at Quentin with puffy eyes, and a short sniff.

Quentin.

It broke Quentins heart to see Roman like this. All he wanted to do was make him feel better and take away any pain he was feeling. The last thing he was expecting Roman to say though was that Khai broke up with him. “Roman” he spoke with such a soft sympathetic tone. “I’m so sorry, baby.” He placed his hand to the side of Romans face and caressed his cheek bone gently with his thumb to wipe away any tears. “You... are not an asshole. Don’t say that. There’s no way you could have known, and there is no right way to deal with these kind of things. I think you did the best that you could... and of course you’re not okay with it. I mean, you love him.” He moved a bit closer to his friend and placed his free hand onto Romans other cheek. He hated seeing Roman like this so much. All he wanted to do was make him smile again. “Yeah, you are being a baby. My baby... and I got you” he half smiled. “I could go kick his ass for you if you like. He might squash me but I’d do it for you” he mused. Maybe now wasn’t the time for jokes. But no one ever said Q was the best at handling these kind of situations.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

Roman could probably kill someone and Quentin would still act like he was perfect in every way. That was one of the things he loved about the other male, but it didn’t mean it was reality. Roman knew his flaws, it was obvious that he wasn’t perfect. No one could be, but in this moment, it felt like he was the most messed up person in the world. How could he be upset about getting dumped when his heart was with someone else? How could he love multiple people at once? What was fucking wrong with him? “No, I’m actually really proud of him for doing what he needed to do, to have the balls to get help, and tell me how he felt. I wish I could be that way.” The barista shook his head, and looked at Quentin with a saddened expression. “He knows that I love you...” Roman admitted, and then looked down for a moment. “He knew already, and I finally had the balls to admit it.”

Quentin.

It became clear to Quentin that his jokes were certainly misplaced when Roman responded. It kinda made him feel like shit that he had even tried. Roman was hurting and here he was actually like it was no big deal. Even though, he knew deep down it was most definitely a big deal. “Yeah, that does take a lot of balls” he nodded. Pulling his hands from Roman’s face as he remembered his own struggles with heroin. His girlfriend at the time was cheating on him through it all, and then ended up ODing so he knew exactly where Roman was coming from. It was time to drop the act of everything in life is peachy and be real. “Roman. You know... we all have our flaws” he began to say. But his words were cut short when his friend looked at him like that. He knew? “Oh...” he breathed out, suddenly feeling like maybe this was all his fault. He sat there for a moment just looking at Roman as he pressed his lips together. “I’m sorry. You don’t think that’s why...?” Quentin shook his head and then placed his hand on Roman’s knee. As if that would somehow make the situation better.

“I really... I just don’t think these situations are ever easy. Whether you fell in love with me or not, or he did heroin or not. I don’t think anything is ever that black and white, ya know? You and I have had so many talks about relationships, and monogamy. I just feel like maybe you think this is all your fault somehow. But, Roman... you two were in love. Anything that happened after that initial start up of the relationship was all because of that. I think sometimes we’re just not meant to be with people no matter how much we love them. But I do know one thing for sure; there is a reason for everything. Like; there’s  a reason why he was your first boyfriend, and why you were still able to fall in love with me while being with him. I mean, you said he knew. Which to me says he knew exactly who you are and still loved you in spite of it. This doesn’t make you a bad person, Roman. He just... I don’t know. Maybe he couldn’t handle it. But when I look at you. I still see that perfectly flawed ball of beautiful mess that I love.”

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

Roman watched Quentin as he spoke, hanging on every word as he always did, because it always meant a lot to hear what his friend had to say. No one cared more about Q’s opinion than Roman, he’d almost bet on that. He trusted this man more than absolutely anyone, and took his word as gospel. Maybe that was unhealthy, but being so far away from his family meant he needed someone to lean on, and Quentin was that person. He reached for his hands as soon as he finished, pressing his lips to his knuckles as he closed his eyes, and stayed that way for a moment. After a few seconds, Ro cleared his throat, and dropped both of their hands so he could play with Quentin’s fingers while thinking of what to say. “Thank you. You’re always there for me, and know exactly what to say.” His voice was raspy from crying, but he still managed a small smirk as his eyes flicked up to meet the other’s. “And I love you. I do. So fucking much, in every way. You’re my best friend, like family, and I also jus’...” he took in a deep breath, and ran a thumb over Q’s palm. “I think about you all the time.” Roman let out a dry laugh, as if this was really finally hitting him all at once. “And the biggest thing with Khai, and the fact that it’s over, is I just can’t shake the guilt.”

Quentin.

When Roman took his hand he could feel his heart speed up. He wasn’t sure if he was saying the right things or not. These were all just his opinions, and he hated being this raw. In fact, Roman was the only person he allowed himself to be this open with. He meant more to him than literally anyone, and he just wished that Roman could see himself the way he saw him. “Well, that’s not true. I don’t always know what to say. I just speak my truth, Romie.” He let his hand open for Roman’s thumb to trail along his palm and let his fingers rub against his friends wrist. “I think about you all the time too. I know you feel guilty. But, you know what? I don’t think Khai would want you to feel guilty. He has his demons too, and if he loves you like I think he does. I’m sure he just wants you to be happy.” Maybe that was just how he felt about it all. But being in love with Roman himself, he couldn’t see how Khai wouldn’t feel the same way. “It’s okay to be sad though. I’m gonna make you a bubble mask” he smiled. Closing his hand around Romans and leaning forward to kiss his forehead.December 29, 2020

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

Thank god for Quentin. Seriously. This man was somehow making him feel better when it didn’t seem possible, and showering him with the perfect amount of love, and affection. Plus, who didn’t love forehead kisses? Roman didn’t even know what to say next, because words didn’t seem to measure up. Instead, the actor just leaned in to press his lips to the corner of Quentin’s mouth, and then turned his head to connect their mouths. It was such a soft kiss, needy, but gentle. It wasn’t supposed to be anything other than a token of gratitude, to let the other know that he was appreciated more than words could convey. Roman was a man of action after all. He had to back up what he was preaching, always. “Mmm weed?” Ro asked as soon as he pulled back, smiling because asking Quentin if he had, or wanted to smoke weed was probably the dumbest thing he’d ever done. But, he needed to calm his nerves, and he loved getting high with Q anyway.

Quentin.

Quentin smiled when Roman leaned in to kiss the corner of his mouth. He wasn’t really expecting that to happen at all, despite the actor telling him quite clearly that he loved him. As much as he wanted to kiss his best friend and take his mind completely off of everything,  It was honestly the last thing on his mind, and he was taken a bit off guard with the way Roman melted right into his lips. He kissed him back with a slow languid passion. A soft whimper uncontrollably falling into Roman’s mouth before feeling him pull away. “Yesss... weeeeed” he smiled not even opening his eyes for a good few seconds. Damn that kiss knocked him for a loop. Stay focused Q he thought to himself, finally opening his eyes with a soft chuckle. “I’ll be right back” he informed. Standing up and pulling the headphones from his neck to place back onto the desk. He walked into the bedroom but only for a moment before returning with an arm full of stuff. “Here babe.. there some really good shit in here” he said, handing him a Darth Vader shaped tin. “I have some swishers in my back pocket” he turned so that Roman could reach them. He finally sat down beside him again on the couch and crossed his legs in Indian styled as he spread a bunch of shit out on the coffee table. He wasn’t kidding. He was legit gonna make Roman a bubble mask, and they were gonna get high as fuck while he did it too.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

High. Something Roman was often, if not most of the time. It was like being sober and stuck in reality was his worst nightmare. Could he really even be upset with Khai if he was doing the same thing? Yeah, maybe it wasn’t something as hard as heroin, but he was still trying to escape. He sat there for a moment as soon as Q got up, staring at his hands while his expression went solemn. God, he really was a brilliant actor, wasn’t he? Turning it on and off in a matter of seconds. But, just as fast as he’d switched moods before, he was smiling once again at his best friend when he walked back in with the goods. “Perfectttt...” he reached for the wraps in Quentin’s back pocket before slapping him on the ass, genuine in his positive semblance now that Q was back in his presence. That was how he’d first realized he was falling in love with Quentin to begin with. The other male never failed to lift his mood. “I love this Star Wars tin so much.” He confessed while making them a blunt, knowing that his friend already knew that they shared a love of the popular franchise. “We need to do a Star Wars marathon one day.” Ro brought the nearly finished blunt to his lips, licking along the wrap before ultimately sealing it.

Quentin.

Roman really was a good actor. Probably the best Q had ever come across here in Kingsboro. But even with the smile and happy semblance, Quentin knew Roman was still sad. They talked about how much he loved and adored Khai so many times. There was no way he even expected Roman to be okay right now.  But he wasn’t going to dig either. If Roman wanted to get high and try to act like he was okay, then Q would be right there to support him. His best friend already knew he would be right there to catch him whenever he was ready to break. He let out a small squeal when Roman slapped his ass and then giggled like a school girl as he shook his head. God he knew Roman was gonna do that. But he loved it nonetheless. “Yeah? You like that one? I have an R2D2 one as well.. and of course Princess Leia. You can have that one if you want” he smiled. His hands mixing in a bunch of different ingredients for the mask as he kept shifting his attention between the two works of art. “We should definitely do that. I agree” he nodded. His eyes following Romans tongue as it slowly glided along the blunt. “Maybe we can make a day of it. I can get us some galactic snacks and maybe even make fresh paddy frogs, and floating fruits” he teased. Pulling his hands from the mixture and moving to straddle over Roman’s lap. “Close your eyes beautiful boy. I’m gonna a make you even more stunning then you already are” he grinned.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

The thoughts of putting his weed in Princess Leia sounded extremely appealing, so of course the brit was nodding to accept Quentin’s gracious offer. Roman became extremely distracted though when Q straddled him, knowing the other was doing it this way on purpose. They both knew they couldn’t physically stay apart for too long once they were in the same room. It just wasn’t possible. Y’know...for scientific reasons. Roman smirked while the other man tried to apply his mask, hands dropping down to Quentin’s waist so he could dip his thumbs under the hem of the other’s shirt. “I love so much that you made me a face mask.” Roman giggled before closing his eyes, attempting to be a good boy and do as he was told.

✰ 𝓠ᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ✰

Of course he was doing it this way on purpose. He wanted to keep Roman as distracted from his heartache as possible. But he also just wanted to be in his lap. He couldn’t help himself honestly. There was a magnetic pull between the two of them, and no matter how hard they tried, they had to be touching in some way. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth to bite back his naughty little grin as he felt Roman’s thumbs brush along his skin just above his waist.  Giving his hips a little wiggle as if to stop him, but not really wanting him to at all. “You better behave, Romie” he chuckled through his words. Placing his hands upon Roman’s cheeks as he began to massage little circles around his cheekbones. “Yeah?” he asked with a light whispered tone. “Well, I love making them for you too. I gotta take care of my man don’t I?” Calling his best friend his just simply fell from his lips so easily. He didn’t even think about it. His hands working sensually over the beautiful outlines of Romans face as he applied more of the mixture.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

Roman was smirking at the command to behave, like that was even possible. He’d never really behaved in his life, especially not when he was in a situation like this. Quentin was a model, actually, even better looking than any model he’d ever seen. He was like the most beautiful man brought to life. How the other male couldn’t see that, Roman would never know, but it wasn’t something that ever left his mind. Ro leaned in to nip at Quentin’s collarbone for a split second, and then pulled back to let the other male continue what he was trying to do while Roman tried not to smile. He just called the actor his man. His man. There was no way he was going to stop smiling now. “Oh? Is that so? Please, tell me more.” The barista ran his fingertips up Quentin’s chest over his shirt.

✰ 𝓠ᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ✰ 

Quentin was all smiles as he watched Roman smirking like an idiot. It made him feel all giddy inside and to be quite honest. It really turned him on. Roman was the most beautiful man he had ever seen in his entire life, and that smile of his. God! It did things to him he would never be able to put into words. When Roman leaned forward to nip at his collar bone, Q practically growled. Gripping onto the sides of his best friends head to not fall backwards the best he could with his hands covered in bubble mask. “Heeeey” he grinned. Trying to make a serious face but failing miserably as he quirked his brow at the actor and booped his nose. “That is so” he insisted with a wide blushy smile. “Someone’s gotta take care of you, and it should most definitely be me” he informed. His chest rising and falling a bit slow and heavy as Roman’s fingers trailed over his chest. He reached for the towel he left draped over the back of the couch and wiped off his hands before cupping them around the sides of his mans neck. “I love you. I’m always gonna take care of you, Romie” he added with a much softer tone. The kind of tone you get when you’re really feeling someone and wanting to kiss them more than you even care to breathe. “Do you feel tingly?”

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

Roman had always wanted to feel like he was in his own 80s romcom, falling in love to an epic soundtrack with the greatest love songs of all time. Think Titanic, Armageddon, Say Anything. He wanted someone to hold a boom box outside his window, or jump into his arms. He wanted all of that with Quentin. Roman had traveled all over the world, but nothing had ever been more exciting than falling in love. This feeling was definitely why people risked getting hurt, wasn’t it? “I feel extremely tingly.” The actor admitted while pressing his hand against Quentin’s chest. “Your heart’s beating so fast.” Roman observed, and looked up into the other’s deep blue eyes.

✰ 𝓠ᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ✰ 

The way Roman was looking at him right now, was indescribable. It was almost as if he were watching a romance movie and Q was the leading man that everyone fell in love with.  He had never been looked at like this before, and truthfully, it was a bit overwhelming. Mostly because he could see in Roman’s eyes exactly what he was feeling for him as well. It was no secret that Quentin was a bit of a hopeless romantic. He craved the perfect love story, the magical moments, and he wanted them all so badly with Roman. He could feel himself getting lost inside his best friends touch. Falling deeper and deeper into him as his hand pressed against his chest. He couldn’t even speak for a moment, only nodding his head to Romans words as he licked his lips and caressed his thumbs along Roman jawline. “I... I feel extremely tingly too.” Really Quentin? That’s what you’re gonna chose to say right now?

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

Roman could tell he was somewhat talking Quentin off guard. He looked the most vulnerable he could remember even seeing the other male. He was pliant, and seemingly on his same level. “Good.” Ro slid his hand up Q’s chest to his collarbone, and ultimately around his neck. It was in an erotic way, just holding onto the younger with a certain sense of ownership, and control. Plus, he loved being able to feel the way his pulse sped up at the action, and how his voice vibrated down his forearm, and spread through his body. “Tell me what else you’re feeling.” Roman asked in a deep tone, eyes flicking up to look at Quentin with a darkened gaze.

✰ 𝓠ᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ✰ 

Everything was so simple with Roman. As easy as breathing even. But up until this very moment, Quentin had tried to keep a cap on what he was truly feeling for his best friend. Roman had a boyfriend, and he had Aaron. But after his confession to Aaron, and the business man telling him not to love him. This break up with Khai somehow blew the cap clear out of existence. His heart was beating so hard and fast and it wasn’t because he was scared per say. But more so because he knew Roman felt the same way. He had never felt like this before with anyone. So many emotions were pulsating throughout his body, and when Roman’s hand claimed his neck. He became alive in a way he never thought he truly could. His lips parted with a deep breath of desire as he gazed back into Roman’s darkened eyes. His own hands gripping firmly at his friends jawline as his thumb traced his lips. “I’m feeling... “ he breathed out with a lustful whisper. “Like I am so insanely and deeply in love with you. Like... I can feel you transcending throughout my entire existence.” He wasn’t exactly sure how they got to this point by doing bubble masks. But fuck, That was all just a part of the beautiful mystery in the alchemy.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜

Oh god. Roman had almost forgotten about the bubble mask until it started to feel kind of funny, knowing there’s no way he was gonna be sexy with this pillow on his face. The actor giggled, taking a moment to peel off the mask, and look up at his lover from such a fantastic angle. Seriously...who looked good from this angle other than Quentin??? His heart felt like mush the second the other male expressed his love, having the sensation of melted butter on warm bread - honey spread across his tongue. Man, he hadn’t even smoked yet, and he was already slipping into a fuzzy state of mind. “Yeah? I think I know exactly what you mean...” Roman held up the blunt he’d rolled, placing it between Quentin’s lips before switching on the lighter for him, lighting up the end so he could get the first few huffs. It was erotic, and he was kind of hoping for a good shot gun.

✰ 𝓠ᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ✰

Quentin giggled with his best friend when he remembered he had a bubble mask on his face and watched him peel it off. Hell, Q was looking right at it the entire time, but It was like it was transparent. Looking  right through it and into those beautiful green eyes of his. “Oh, you think you know huh?” he grinned. Another soft giggle passing through his lips as Roman placed the blunt between them. He watched intensely as the actor ignited the flame and he inhaled deeply. Letting the smoke blissfully fill his lungs as he held it in for as long as he could. Smiling down at Roman he placed his hand onto his shoulder and leaned closer to press their lips together. Exhaling the smoke erotically  into his mans mouth as he let his tongue curl up beneath his top lip.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

Quentin was so many things for Roman. He filled a variety of voids, and sex wasn’t even at the top of that list. So, he would never want to make his friend feel like he was using him in any capacity, the light touch of their lips together showing that Roman really wanted the intimacy. It was about the emotions he was feeling towards the younger, not the lust. “Mmmm....” Ro hummed into Quentin’s mouth, all while inhaling the smoke from the other’s lungs into his own. God, that was always so hot. Roman would do just about anything to be as close to Q as possible. The actor finally pulled away so he could turn his head, and exhale puffs of smoke into the air.

✰ 𝓠ᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ✰ 

There was absolutely nothing more intimate than getting high with some you love and shot gunning with them. It was like a poetic way of being able to breathe a piece of yourself straight into that other persons being. Maybe that was just a stoners way of thinking. But, Quentin knew that Roman could most definitely relate. He pulled back from Roman’s lips to watch the smoke slowly exhale from his lungs and a soft smile pulled at his lips. “It’s so good, right?” he hummed. Bringing the blunt up to his friends lips to let him hit it once again. It was kind of insane that they weren’t full on making out right now. But, it wasn’t about that. Even with the strong attraction and the heat building between them. Roman never made him feel hurried or expected in any type of way. It was nice just to linger in the sexual magnetism and chemicals intertwining them together. Q lifted up from Roman’s lap and took a seat back down beside him. Placing the blunt between Roman’s lips once again and letting go as he laid his head down into his lap. “Are you feeling okay?” he asked as he trailed his fingers along the actors jaw. Remembering how upset he was when he first showed up and hoping that maybe he had helped. Even if it was only in the smallest of ways.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

Was he okay? The question played over in his brain like a skipping record while he lit the joint in his mouth for another toke. He needed to be so much higher than he was right now, to run from his thoughts and hope that everything would be alright tomorrow. Roman let his eyes flutter closed, inhaling a deep breath of fresh air as soon as he blew out the smoke from his lungs. “I will be.” He then replied, craning his neck so that he could look at the other male in his lap. “I’ve got you. How could I not be okay?” Roman asked next, and dropped a hand to start inching up under the hem of Quentin’s shirt once again. His fingertips grazed over the soft hairs below his coworker’s belly button where he knew Q was sensitive.

✰ 𝓠ᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ✰

Quentin smiled softly at his friend’s response. He knew deep down that he was still hurting. He just hoped he could at least ease the pain even a little. Roman loved Khai so much, and knowing his friends now ex was going through something inevitably life changing. It couldn’t be easy for Roman to just sit here pretending everything was all okay. Q knew that. It wasnt like he was a heartless person, and even with knowing Roman loved him too, the guilt he felt over it must be eating him alive. None of this was going to get better for either of them in a blink of an eye. But Quentin loved Roman. He loved him more than life itself. So if Roman wanted to act like it was okay, or if he wanted to sob in his arms. He was going to be right there with him, holding him up. He started to get lost in his thoughts a little bit, thanks to the weed, but when Roman spoke again he let out a small chuckle. “That’s right! You do have me. You always have me” he grinned. His eyes shifting down to where Roman’s hand played with the hem of his shirt again. He could feel his fingers brush against his lower stomach and he breathed in a deep shaky breath. His abs sucking in and becoming more defined as his eyes shifted back to Roman. “Roman...” he exhaled with an overwhelming need. “Kiss me. Please...” he added. His free hand moving to make a fist in the fabric of his best friends shirt as the other trailed across his jaw to the back of his neck.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

Never in his life had Roman been able to let down his walls like this, and not struggle to do so. It was like he wasn’t thinking about anything else other than Quentin anymore. He couldn’t remember why he’d been so closed off on the idea of love to begin with, when now he was feeling it like a slap in the face. He’d spent so much time wondering if maybe he was broken, and all along there was someone out there that was about to knock him on his ass. He’d also never wanted someone as bad as he wanted Q right now. His best friend. His partner in crime. The one person who could listen to all of his issues, and turn them around in an instant. So, when Quentin begged him for a kiss, he didn’t even flinch before leaning down, and pressing his lips to the other’s in a firm, but still gentle embrace. He’d been craving the taste of his mouth, which he promptly licked into with a low hum.

✰ 𝓠ᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ✰

Looking back over the last couple of months you could almost laugh. Q and Roman have had so many talks about love. Where they stood with it all, the confusion that had with it, and why they were so closed off to it. Not once during any of those chats would you think this was there they were going to end up. Quentin had trust issues, and he deeply worried abandonment; and Roman was scared of being hurt or even worse hurting someone he truly loved. If only they could have realized this a little sooner, maybe they would have been the ones calling each other boyfriend right now. Instead, Roman’s walls were tumbling down, and Quentin was left raw. Completely trusting his best friend with his heart no matter what the outcome might be. This was love. It wasn’t just the desire they felt for each other, or the jealousy they felt when they were with another. It was much deeper than that. Quentin always felt like, if real love truly did exist, it would just happen without warning. But there was no way either of them could have prepared for something like this. It was like being punched in the gut in the most blissful and beautiful way. To be quite honest, he absolutely couldn’t get enough. He tilted his head just slightly to press his lips fervently into Roman’s. His chest rising and falling with the most intense emotions he had ever felt in his entire life. Who needed Molly when the rush he got from Roman Beckett left him completely breathless and euphoric. All he wanted to do was sink right into his skin and become one with him. But instead he pulled back after only a few moments. “I love you” he whispered against his best friends swollen lush lips.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

When Quentin said he loved him, it sparked something inside the actor that was completely unfamiliar to him. He thought he’d experienced everything by now, but apparently Q was going to continue keeping him on his toes. He’d gotten close with Khai, really close, but he’d never actually considered “making love” until right now. “I love you, too. Can we...maybe go to your bedroom?” Roman found himself asking so vulnerably. He barely even recognized himself, coming off almost shy in a way. This was out of his comfort zone, normally he’d just fuck Quentin right here on the couch, maybe pin him down by his throat, or ask for it in return. He knew this wasn’t something familiar to the other male either, but it just felt so...right in this moment.

✰ 𝓠ᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ✰ 

Quentin could feel his heart skip a beat when Roman repeated those three little words back to him. Sure, they said I love you to each other before. But right now, there was something much deeper behind it. Like they were finally letting go of any restraints they may have had, and were completely giving in to one another. The sound of Romans voice was like nothing Quentin had ever heard from him before. There was a soft vulnerability to it, and Q could feel his entire body render beneath his breath. “Yeah.. I’d like that” he responded with a soft delicacy. His eyes expressing a type of tenderness he never really showed. He lifted his head from Roman’s lap and stood over him as he held his hand out to take his. Lacing their fingers together and leading him toward his bedroom. We’re they about to make love? Quentin wasn’t really sure. All he knew for sure in this moment, was nothing ever felt this right.(edited)

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

Roman was a switch in the bedroom, Quentin knew this by now, it just depended on what mood he was in. Tonight? He just wanted to take the reigns on this one, at least for right now. Roman felt the overwhelming need to lace his fingers with Q’s, playing with his fingers as he lead them back to the other’s room like it was his own, stepping past the doorway before he was turning around to face his lover. “I need you naked.” The actor’s voice was full of rasp, his hands now dropping down to tug at the hem of Quentin’s top, lifting it up past his abs while biting his lower lip. He was definitely staring, watching every inch of skin revealed to him until they were down to Q’s underwear.  “Fuck, you’re so damn hot. You know that?” Ro ran his hands over his coworker’s shoulders, down his arms, and ultimately stopping at his hands to weave their fingers together once again as he leaned in to join their lips.

✰ 𝓠ᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ✰ 

When it came to sex with Roman, Quentin never felt like he had to play a certain part. They could both be total switches, but when they were together, it was never like they needed to assign any specific role. Things just happened naturally between them. Like magic in the moonlight they easily conformed to whatever their bodies were telling them. Quentin could feel a shiver of desire run down his spin and straight to his dick when Roman spoke. His head nodding slowly before hooking his thumbs through the waistband of his sweats and pulling them down as instructed. He kicked them to the side as Roman’s fingertips traced over his abs. Running his hands over his shoulders and down his arms with such skillful movements, Q could barely breathe. He parted his lips to speak as his fingers wrapped tightly around Romans. But before he could even get anything to come out his lips were melting hopelessly into his lovers. A soft yearning whimper vibrating into their kiss as Quentin felt himself surrender.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

Ro didn’t think he’d ever really heard Quentin whimper like that before, so when he did, it shot literally straight to his dick. Good LORD. That was hot. “I want you.” Roman breathed against the other’s lips, and then bit at the each one with a low growl. He realized quickly that he was still fully clothed, and stepped away only to pull off his shirt, and then step out of his skinny jeans. The actor’s eyes stayed locked on Q’s for a moment as he took him in once again, and then ended up tackling him onto the bed. Yeah, he wanted to go at this a little softer, but that didn’t mean he still wasn’t gonna be a little rough. He couldn’t help it. Roman immediately attached his lips to his lover’s neck once they were on the mattress, sucking, and biting at his skin while moving a hand between Quentin’s legs to start rubbing his crotch with the heel of his palm.

✰ 𝓠ᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ✰ 

God! He felt so dizzy right now. It the most blissful and euphoric way possible. He never thought that just hearing those words come from Roman’s lips could turn him on so much. “I want you too, baby” he breathed out with such a fierce craving as Roman bit at his lips. His hands moving to trail all over his lovers chest as he began to remove his clothing. Goddamn, this man was beautiful. Q couldn’t even take his eyes off of him for a moment. His hands now moving to grip at Romans waist as he tackled him down onto the bed. He let out a soft grunt as his back hit the mattress and he lulled his head back. The feeling of Romans lips on his neck as his hand moved between his legs causing him to moan and whimper with such an alluring desperation. “Roman... mmm” he forced out through a hard pleasurable breath. Using his long fingers to grip fervently at his lovers locks as he spread his legs even wider for him. “I love how you touch me, baby. I need you” he confessed. Yanking Ro’s head back by his hair to crash their lips together ravenously.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

Roman knew Quentin was already getting a little desperate. To be frank, Ro was also ready to just pound him into the mattress, but the actor was trying for once to show some restraint. They could take things slow...right? Roman moved his lips against the other’s passionately, getting a good taste of him while he continued to rub his palm against Quentin’s growing erection. Fuck, he loved this man’s cock so much. Eventually, he pulled the length from his underwear so he could wrap his fingers around it, and begin to stroke him. The actor never once pulled his lips away from his coworker’s, massaging their tongues together in a heated makeout session while I rubbed on Q’s cock, running his thumb through precum with a moan.

✰ 𝓠ᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ✰ 

One thing about Quentin that many people didn’t know, was that even with his hopeless romantic ways. It took a lot to really break him out of his hard sexual domination. Even when he was simping for someone he had a particular way of keeping his most sensitive self at bay. When you could get Quentin to be really soft, that’s when you knew you really had him. It was pretty clear even now that he was struggling to keep his walls up. He trusted Roman and he loved this man so much. But there was definitely still a part of him that was a little scared. Not that he would ever admit to that. The way they were kissing right now was tearing him down wall by wall, and his soft whimpers became more vulnerable than desperate. Their tongues intertwining together in such a pure capitulation as his grip on Roman’s hair loosened. “Roman..” he whispered with such a soft lustful adoration. “I want you to make love to me.” He wrapped his free hand lightly around his coworkers wrist as he was stroking him, using his thumb to gently caress the back of his hand as he moaned quietly.January 1, 2021

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

This was the second time in his life he’d ever been asked to make love to someone, and it was still just as surreal. Roman believed in romance, it was hard not to when he and Quentin said all the things they’d said. But, actions were different, and right now they were being forced to break down those last few walls and finally give into each other. Ro blinked down at Q for a moment with a slight smirk on his lips, just watching the other male as he continued to stroke him until he finally made the move to reach for the lube. It wasn’t long until Roman had his lips back on Quentin’s, kissing him deeply while his fingers explored his heat, stretching him out, and massaging the pads of his fingers against the other’s prostate nice and slow. They had all the time in the world to enjoy this, and Ro was going to make sure Q was ready for him.January 2, 2021

Quentin

This was the first time Quentin had ever asked anyone to make love to him. Maybe he used those words a time or two before, but never with the same intentions he was feeling right now. He wanted to become one with Roman. For him to feel exactly what he was feeling inside. With the way Roman was looking at him right now though, he was sure he could see right through him. His eyes were glossing over with such a deep burning passion as the pleasure his lover was giving him pulsated throughout his entire body. It was like with every stroke he supplied another wall came crashing down around them. His face contorting into the most blissfully and beautiful way as his lover pushed his fingers into his heat and explored his hidden pleasures. “Mmmm...Shit” he moaned softly against Romans lips as he lifted his hips up from the mattress. Pressing up into his lovers hand as his lips parted against his mouth. “Romie..” he whispered breathlessly as his lips curved up into a seductive grin. “God.. that feels so good. “Mmm... I need you closer” he insisted. His fingers clawing hopelessly at his lovers skin to pull him in impossibly closer.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

Roman knew Quentin was enjoying this, getting doted on and pleasuring like he always should be. Ro loved taking his time with Q, making sure to open him up just the way he should be, that he was feeling as much pleasure as possible with even just a finger. “I can’t wait to be inside of you...” Roman whispered, and then brushed his nose along the line of Quentin’s jaw until deciding to nuzzle near his ear while he added another finger inside his lover. He scissored them in and out of his tight heat, making sure to hook them upwards towards Quentin’s prostate each time he entered.

Quentin.

God, he really did love this. The pleasure he was feeling was so unhurried and yet intense. It was all a bit overwhelming, but in the best possible way ever. His hand moving to rub Romans growing girth over his underwear as he brushed the side of his face against his lovers. “I can’t wait either. I wanna make you feel so good” he managed to breath out between soft whimpers and moans. Hooking his leg over Roman’s hip and rolling onto his side to face him. “I want these off” he instructed with a slight tug against his underpants. Helping the best he could to get them off before moving one of his hands to cup Roman’s face. Kissing him again with a slow and intimate entanglement of their lips as his tongue fervently explored his lovers mouth. Their chest pressing so close together he could swear their hearts were beating as one. As his other hand wrapped loosely around his lovers length to stroke him slow and diligently.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

Roman actually chuckled when Quentin started getting insistent on the removal of his underwear. “Okay, okay, they’re coming off!!” How is it that after all this time together, Quentin still managed to make him feel all swoopy? It was like that addicting puppy love feeling that he’d never been able to experience growing up. Roman had spent years believing he was broken when really it just took the right person, at the right time. Ro threw his underwear into the floor before he was back over Quentin, hooking his thumbs into the sides of his friend’s briefs so he could tug them off in record timing. “Keep your eyes on me.” The actor then instructed, but not at all in a demanding way. His voice was soft, reassuring as he leaned down to start placing thoughtful kisses all the way down his coworker’s stomach. He made a trail down the center of his abs, the heat of his breath just slightly flirting with the skin below Quentin’s belly button while his hand once again found its way around his lover’s cock. His thumb made a trail across the slit, coating the pad of his finger before he used it as lube to start stroking the younger.January 3, 2021

Quentin.

It was so obvious. Quentin was in complete awe of this man. Even the sound of his laughter had him feeling all electric inside. He was perfect. Every movement of his fingers, the softness of his lips. Quentin couldn’t imagine love feeling like another other than this. He nodded his head and pulled his bottom lip between his teeth as Roman instructed him to keep his eyes on him. The tone of his lovers voice alone causing him to feel all hot and tingly. Sucking in his stomach as Roman’s hot breath sent electric waves all throughout his being. “Mmm... baby” he purred. His lip popping from his teeth as his mouth parted with desire. Jesus, Roman either really knew what he was doing right now, or Quentin was dreaming the best dream he ever had in his entire life. His hands moving to his lovers shoulders as his nails bit into his skin. Sure this was slow and intimate, and they were really taking their time with each other. But Quentin knew what Roman liked, what he liked, and there was absolutely nothing wrong with a little intense intimacy.January 4, 2021

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

Hearing Quentin say baby like that, it was an ethereal experience. It was one of those moments that shot arousal through every nerve ending, making the actor shiver as his teeth grazed his lover’s lower abs. After a few more drags of his lips, Ro finally decided to rub his them against the tip of Q’s dick, coating his mouth in pre cum in the most obscene way before deciding to take the other balls deep. He gagged a little on the length, but then managed to relax his throat around Quentin, taking him like a champ as he bobbed up and down. His fingers were inching up Q’s legs, gripping his thighs, and then trailing up to drag his nails over the younger’s nipples with a moan around his cock.January 6, 2021

Quentin.

It was so hard to look at Roman right now. He was so fucking beautiful and Q knew if he kept watching him working on his cock like that, he was gonna blow his load without any type of warning. “Oh, my, god” he gasped with pleasure as his cock flexed in the back of Roman’s throat. His fingers clenching so hard at whatever part of his lover he could grab onto as his hips lifted up from the mattress. Holy shit! Roman really fucking knew what he was doing with that mouth. His entire body riddling with goosebumps as his head lulled back against the pillow. “*Mmm, Romie.. fuck baby” he moaned in the most pleasurable way. His toes practically curling with pleasure as his lovers nails raked over his nipples. Shooting an intense amount of orgasmic waves throughout his entire body. “Fuuuu...” he gasped. Almost forgetting to breath as his hips jerked up and thrusted in and out of  Romans mouth.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

Pretty much everyone who knew Roman, knew how much the boy loved cock. Sucking it, riding it, playing with it. He was a cock slut at its finest, but with Quentin? It was so much more than that. He was so in love with this man, obsessed even, if he was being completely transparent. It was evident in the way he was staring at the other through his lashes while he bobbed up and down on his length. He wanted to make Q feel as good as possible, to work him up to his edge before deciding to take this further. He was going to make love to his best friend, just like he’d been asked to, and try and time it in a way they could both come completely undone together. Ro moved a hand between Quentin’s legs to begin prodding at his heat, just teasing him for now with the tip of his finger as his tongue swirled on the head of his lover’s cock.

Quentin.

There were no words to describe what was happening in this room right now. It was like they were on another level with one another. Getting lost in one another’s eyes while his body shook with the most intense pleasure. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold out on letting go. But the second he felt Roman’s fingers teasing his heat, he completely gave in. His entire body visibly trembling as his mouth gaped open. He was so sure he was about to cum, but instead his body curled in. Sitting up and wrapping his arms around his lover to pull him up over him. “I need you. I wanna feel you” he practically whispered against his best friends cheek. Reaching down between them to guide Roman’s tip along his heat.January 7, 2021

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

Roman rubbed his cheek against the others when he was pulled close, feeling their scruff together in the most arousing way. God, all he could think about now was Quentin’s stubble on the soft skin of his inner thighs. Fuck!! “Mmm baby...want me to use lube?” He whispered near his lovers ear before deciding to kiss it, taking Q’s earlobe between his teeth to gently nibble. He was thrusting forward while the other male guided him, pressing against his entrance while he waited for an answer. He wanted inside of him so damn bad, but he also didn’t want to hurt his baby. Not that Quentin was concerned about that, but Ro figured he could be for the both of them.(edited)January 8, 2021

Quentin.

It wasn’t hard to tell that Quentin was in a bit of a love drunk haze as Roman kissed his ear. He just wanted to feel Roman against him, and he was just so fucking ready. His head nodding slowly to his lovers question before he began moving his free hand to feel around on the bed for the tube. “Be gentle” he grinned a bit cheekily as he handed the lube to his lover. Knowing damn well Roman knew he was just being a little brat. Holding his hand open for Roman to squirt some lube out before stroking his cock slow and hard. “Does that feel good baby?” he asked in a low seductive tone before kissing his neck. His thumb paying extra attention to his lovers tip before guiding him back to his entrance.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

Roman’s breaths were coming out heavy, and shuttered as his lover stroked him with the lube. Wow, that felt so fucking good. Of course it couldn’t even compare to how he was about to feel inside of Quentin, but having this man touch him in any way was always so fucking satisfying. “Q...” Ro moaned, and immediately began to thrust forward to begin sliding into the other male’s tight heat. It was quite the stretch, so he was really trying to concentrate on going nice and slow. “Oh my god.” He huffed out, and then rubbed his lips against Quentin’s ear, his hands fisting the sheets on either side of the younger’s head. “You feel so good, baby.”(edited)January 10, 2021

✰ 𝓠ᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ✰

There was just something so intimate about the way Roman pushed himself into him. His movements so slow and unhurried. Leaving Q to unravel with soft lustful moans as his lips lifted to meet his lovers. “ughhh.... baby. You feel so good too” he managed to breathe out through his heavy breaths. His hands moving to grip onto his best friends as as he pulled him even deeper into his heat. “Fuuuu...” he whimpered with a pleasurable sigh. Grinding his hips into Roman’s as he lifted his head just slightly to connect his lips to his lovers shoulder. There was literally nothing better than this moment right now. His body was literally trembling with how much desire he had for this man. “Roman...*” he moaned softly against his skin. His legs clamping around his waist to hold him so deep inside of him as he continued to rock against him.January 12, 2021

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

Roman had never tried so hard to make sure someone was comfortable in bed, as he was right now. He was gently rocking his cock in and out of his lover’s tight heat, small moans coming in between. His whole body was writhing with pleasure, and he hoped Q was feeling even better with the way he was grinding against his prostate. “Yeah baby?” Ro moaned when he heard his name, waiting for Quentin to answer while he placed slow, wet kisses to his coworker’s neck. “You sound so good like this.”January 14, 2021

✰ 𝓠ᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ✰ 

Roman’s movements were so slow and precise. Rocking his body with the most intense and euphoric pleasures he had ever felt. There was just something so different about really taking your time. It was almost like Quentin could feel his lovers cock throbbing throughout his entire body. “I love you” he breathed out through his hard lust filled breaths. His hands moving to grip at his lovers hair as his arms wrapped securely around his neck. He pressed their foreheads together and looked deep into Roman’s dark eyes as he continued to thrust up against him. His lips parting fervently as his back slightly arched off the mattress. “Mmm... God! You’re so fuckin beautiful” he whispered through shaky breathes of pleasure. His eyes practically rolling to the back of his head as he moved one of his hands wrap around Roman’s neck. “Uuhhh.. you feel so good. Harder” he demanded. His tone was soft but his grip was firm as he pressed his thumb profoundly against Roman’s Adam’s apple.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

Quentin was gorgeous. Everything about him, his sharp features, and crinkly eyed smile. He loved the way he spoke, the way he thought about things. He loved his personality, and how much he was willing to do for others. There’s a reason Q had been his best friend for so long, and now he was his lover. Even on the darkest of days, Roman could feel better knowing he had Quentin. The actor gasped when he felt his boyfriend’s hand tighten around his throat, trying to focus on what he’d even been told to do, which was go harder. He began snapping his hips in a faster rhythm, making small noises mixed with ragged breaths whenever they would make their way past Q’s grip. It wasn’t gonna be long until he needed to cum, but he was trying his best to hold off.(edited)January 16, 2021

✰ 𝓠ᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ✰ 

There wasn’t anyone else in the world who could really see Quentin the way that Roman did. Their connection was so strong on so many levels. It was like each time their eyes met they could see right into one another’s souls. He never felt like he had to hide anything, or compete for his affection. It was almost like looking directly into a mirror. Even with their difference, when they came together, they came together as one. Quentin never felt so safe, so loved, so taken care of. Even now with the way Roman snapped his hips harder into him. There was a kind of passion to it he knew he couldn’t get from anyone else. “Mmm... Romie” he grinned with pleasure as he continued to look deep into his eyes. Moving his hand back to his lovers ass to pull him in deeper as the other hand continued to grip firm at his neck. “Fuck.... you’re so deep baby” his lips parted with a lust filled gasp as his fingers teased at Roman’s heat. Decidedly pushing into him as he fingered him nice and slow.January 17, 2021

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

Fuck, there really wasn’t a much better feeling than fucking Q while being fingered. It was making the actor feel lightheaded, or maybe that was from the grip at his throat. Pleasure was pulsing through his veins all the way out to every nerve ending, his lips tingling, and parted. Quentin looked so damn good like this as well, in the throes of pleasure. Roman was the one making him feel that way as well, and that was the best part. “Q...” his voice was so pitiful as he tried to speak, hips thrusting as hard as his could physically muster without exploding prematurely. He dropped halfway down against his boyfriend so that he could reach between the other’s legs, and start steadily pumping his cock. He wanted Quentin to cum all over them both, and direct stimulation was exactly what he knew the younger needed to reach his peak.

✰ 𝓠ᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ✰ 

God! Roman sounded so fucking sexy right now. The look in his eyes topped with the rasp in his voice was doing things to his body he couldn’t even explain. This man could probably get him off without even touching him. But when he did touch him, goddamn!! It was like fireworks exploding throughout his entire being. His hips jerking up against his lovers strong hand as he stroked him with just enough pressure to really send him soaring over the edge. “Fuuuuck baby” he growled through his gritting teeth. His hips involuntarily jerking and thrusting harder than they had been before as his orgasm took over his body. His hot sticky cum shooting all over his and his lovers chest in the throes of passion as he pulled his fingers from his boyfriends heat. He wrapped his legs tightly around his lovers waist to force him even deeper into him. As the most erotic whimpers fell  from his lips. The feeling of Roman’s cock flexing firm against his prostate causing his entire body to tremble as he loosened his grip on his neck and crashed their lips together.(edited)January 18, 2021

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ 

There were a lot of things Roman loved about having sex with Quentin. Yeah, he was gorgeous, sexy, all of that - so of course it was gonna be amazing, but the look on his face when he came? That was the prize, and not even just because it looked so hot. He loved this man. That kind of love that keeps you up all night, consumes your every thought to the point when you’re not with that person, you just think about when you’ll see them again. Roman wanted to make Q feel good all day every day, and being able to make him cum like this? It was a feeling he couldn’t explain. “I love you...” the actor muttered as soon as they’d both come down a little from their high — Roman having filled up his lover with his own cum, both of them still tangled together, completely connected. He took a moment to admire his lover, green eyes scaling over the younger’s face while his fingers lifted to trail through his sweat dampened hair. He realized he’d never really felt this particular way before, just...happy. “You’re really beautiful. You know that?”January 19, 2021

✰ 𝓠ᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ✰ 

“I love you too. I love you so fucking much” he breathed out through his hard breaths. His arms wrapping tightly around Roman’s neck and pulling him down for a deep and languid kiss. His heart was beating so hard and slow he could swear it was gonna pound right out of his chest. He really did love this man so much. So so so much. He wasn’t even sure how he didn’t even noticed it before. He knew he liked Roman. But this? This was the kind of love that just sneaks up on you and makes you feel like your entire life before it was a lie. He needed Roman like he needed air. This man consumed him in every possible way there was to be consumed and he was loving every minute of it. He was his, and his alone. It didn’t matter what happened after they left this room. He belonged to Roman, and there wasn’t a single thing he wouldn’t do for him to make sure he was happy every single day of his life.

[firstumcschenectady]

“Like Trees Planted by Streams of Water” based on Psalm 1 and John 17:6-19

According to the Psalm, we are supposed to be like trees planted by streams of water.

We are supposed to drink in the goodness of God, be fed by God's living water, rest in God's goodness, and maintain the life of faith at all times.

I'm....I'm not sure how you hear that right now. Here in May of 2021, I fear that some eyes have rolled so far into the back of their heads that they may not make it back, and others are laughing so hard at this premise that they can't hear me yet. Those responses seem fair. Truthfully though, I worry that the majority of those listening/reading simply tuned out because it felt so absolutely irrelevant.

For me, at least, it isn't though. It is absolutely relevant. I actually needed the reminder, because I've let the busy demands of life take precedence over making sure I'm soaking in God's goodness. I've let the fears, anxieties, and pressures all around me IN, and forgot that the best way I have to deal with them is make sure that I'm “planted by streams of water” that let me have the strength to respond with love, compassion, and clarity.

I need these reminders rather a lot, because the pressures of the world to “preform” and “produce” and “matter” weigh rather heavily on me. I far too easily forget my own needs to be grounded and supported so I can offer grounding and support when it is needed most.

In the Gospel, Jesus is praying with awareness that he is about to leave his disciples, and he worries over them when he isn't there to guide them. The prayer seems meant to be overheard, meant to serve as a reminder to them that they are still cared for by God.

The best way I know to remember I am cared for by God, like the best way I know to “be like trees planted by streams of water” is to engage in “Spiritual Disciplines.” Most people of profound faith have Spiritual Discipline – whether they call it that or not. Many people struggle to find their own form of Spiritual Discipline. Those people who have a Spiritual Discipline that they practice regularly believe it to be life changing and transformational. The only issue is, if you are a person who doesn't have a practice of your own listening to those people who do – you start to feel like all your time should be spent in all their forms of Discipline.

The truth is that Spiritual Disciplines are as personal as our gifts and graces. We can't just take on someone else's way of connecting to God. Our tradition may give us forms to use, but even the forms need to be adapted to OUR relationships with God.

Sometimes in clergy circles, Spiritual Disciplines come up in an unhelpful way. This happens when every person is fully convinced that their life was better because of the way they reached to God (good), and that everyone else should try their way (not so good.)

The closest practice I know to one that “should” be universal is: bliss. That is, finding those things that bring us pure joy and spending as much time with them as we can.

Another helpful perspective on Spiritual Disciplines comes from the book “Dark Nights of the Soul” by Thomas Moore. Moore was a Roman Catholic Monk for the beginning of his life, but left the monastery when he was near 40 and now lives in NH with his wife and children. He has a whole bunch of degrees and functions as a psychologist. In this book he proposes that the darkness of life is an important part of life -even when it looks like depression. He has a model for respecting meaninglessness and accepting that God may be transforming people as if in a cocoon when they are drawn away from normal life. I'm finding it to be most helpful in preparing me for conversations with people (including myself) in struggle.

At one point in the book, Moore talks about catharsis, as a letting go of the crowdedness within so that the soul can sort through to what is important. I was startled as I read, because I finally understood that the Goal is NOT to take on all spiritual disciplines and become the perfectly disciplined spiritual person. Rather, the point is to use the tradition and our own creative energy to connect with God in exactly those ways that are life-giving.

This is a terribly obvious point. Hopefully you already knew it. But I probably would have claimed that I did too, at least until I felt freed by reading this. Here is an extended quote from his conversation on catharsis:

“My favorite kinds of contemplation include playing the piano, walking in a forest, sitting quietly in a church or house of worship, and even window shopping. I understand that the highest forms of mediation are pure and still and aim at an awareness free of distraction. But I also value the spirituality to be found in the concrete, every day world. Walking through a store, my attention is caught by beautiful things, and I can easily fall into deep reverie just looking at them. I find this a good way to be spiritual without criticizing ordinary life or the physical world. ...

The general aim of catharsis is creative tranquility, an condition in which you are free from the pressing practical concerns to consider the bigger questions. The actual practice of contemplation may vary from one person to another, but some physical quieting helps start the process. Nature can help by providing an environment that stills a hyperactive mind. ....

Other spiritual practices may also clear out a crowded life. Religions teach fasting, retreat, vegetarianism, a spirit of poverty, neatness, cleanliness, moderation, and solitude – these familiar practices can be part of the busiest person's life and give that life a spiritual dimension. In this sense, making your bed every morning can be a spiritual practice. This natural spirituality I am describing deepens the place from which you live and allows you to open your heart both to receive more from life and to give to others.” (Thomas Moore, “Dark Nights of the Soul” pages 52-54)

I want all of you to have ways of connecting to the Divine – which is also to say ways of making good decisions for your well-being and the well-being of those around you. I want you to know how to sort through to what is truly important and what is just superficial. I want your lives to be meaningful and your prayers to bring you inner strength.

I don't care how you do that. But I care that you do.

Hopefully some of the ideas that Moore talked about may work for you, or some of the prayer practiced we've talked about in the past, or just things you've found along the way – by yourself or from someone who knew the Divine well. If not, I'm happy to talk it over more one on one.

This is a difficult time, in the world, in the church, and even in our own church. Stressors, anxieties, and fears abound. It can be difficult to hold on to our core self as the struggles press in on us. With God, though, we can increase our capacities. We can be like trees planted by streams of water – strong yet flexible, healthy, responsive, and able to withstand what comes at us.

We can't control the world, other people, or even our own bodies. We can, however, connect with the Divine and regain the capacity to respond well to whatever comes at us. May we make the time for God, to receive hope, rest, and renewal.

Amen