#and shields was her guest and then ellie popped in behind him

[personinthepalace]

might be a bit weird ask. but. fully knowing it’s not my business and respecting these two people. do you know if shields and ellie are dating

Yes, Ellie and Shields are currently dating. I believe they got together during Bank Robbery

[apoguecalledjj]

Fixation (Chapter 3)

Series summary: Eleanor is new to the outer banks, and the pogues are quick to take her in. But so are the kooks, and as she grows closer with Rafe, trouble emerges. Trying to balance her relationship with the pogues and the kooks, as well as dealing with her own personal problems, Eleanor falls into a hole she may not be able to dig herself out of.

Chapter Word Count: 3632

Chapter Warnings: Mentions drug use, addiction and abuse

Previous Parts: Ch. 1 Ch. 2  Ch. 3 Ch. 4 Ch. 5

The first morning Ellie had woken up next to Rafe, it felt like she was in heaven. His arm draped lazily over her, shirtless in just his sweatpants that he had pulled on after their wild night. Her wearing just his t-shirt, gazing at him lazily as she blinked away the sleep that was still fighting to consume her.

This morning, it did not feel like heaven. Rafe was still asleep, his arms wrapped lightly around her from behind, her back pressed against his chest. It should have been perfect, Ellie had always craved physical affection and adored the feeling of being held.

But her head was pounding, and she still felt drowsy, no matter how hard to tried to wake herself up. Unlike last night, when she had felt alive, full of energy and alert, she now felt lazy. She had no desire to move, her body not feeling up for even getting out of bed. 

Yet, despite the way Ellie currently felt, which she knew without a doubt was caused by the cocaine, she still found herself longing for the way she had felt last night. The feeling that had pulsed through her was one she had no idea how to replicate without the substance. She wanted to feel it again. The previous night she hadn’t had a care in the world, letting loose with Rafe and having a better time than she had ever had at any party. She wanted to feel it again.

The desire for the drug pushed away the thoughts in her head, the ones scolding herself for even trying it in the first place. She mentally yelled at herself, a part of her knowing that this was the start of an addiction and she was going down the same path as her mom. But the desire pushed it away, instead convincing herself that everything would be fine and she knew what she was doing.

Rafe slowly awakened, his arms stretching slightly around her as he suppressed a yawn. “Good morning,” He mumbled, sleepiness evident in his voice.

“Morning.” Ellie rolled over so she was facing the boy, groaning slightly at the pain in her head. Rafe, without even having to ask what was wrong, leaned over and grabbed a bottle of painkillers from the nightstand, handing them to her with a smile. She swallowed them dry, not having the energy to go retrieve some water. 

They laid in bed silently for a while, Rafe quietly humming as he drifted in and out of light sleep, and Ellie scrolling through her social media on her phone. Eventually, the medicine kicked in and the pain in her head subdued.

“Do you wanna hang out with me and my friends today? We haven’t spent much time together out of this room,” Rafe teased, tearing Ellie away from the world of Instagram on her phone.

She nodded, eager to meet the boys that he talked about so frequently. Plus, even though she enjoyed the pogues, she knew her uncle would be ecstatic to hear of her hanging out with kooks. “Do you mind if I shower?” She asked, knowing she probably didn’t look or smell the greatest.

“Of course.” Rafe motioned towards his bathroom door. “You can shower in there, I’ll go to the guest bathroom.” He climbed out of bed and left the room, coming back shortly after with two bottles, shampoo and body wash. “This is Sarah’s, thought you’d rather smell like watermelons than my body wash.”

Ellie made her way to the shower, twisting the handle more towards the cold instead of the hot she normally tended to enjoy. Standing under the cold water helped to wake her body up, exactly what she needed after the way she had felt this morning.

She made her way back to the bedroom, Rafe already finished showering and waiting for her on the bed. She thought she had been quick, but obviously not.

“Ready?” He asked, tossing his phone down on the bed next to him. He moved towards the mirror, fiddling with his air even though it was already styled and slicked back.

Ellie nodded, grabbing her bag from where it had been discarded hastily last night by the door. She followed Rafe to his truck. “So what’re the plans for today?” She inquired once they were on the road, his windows rolled down slightly and the wind blowing through her hair.

He glanced at her briefly before looking back at the road. “We’re meeting up with Topper and Kelce, the two that were with me at the party. Probably just gonna spend the day at Kelce’s, but Top has a pool so we might go over there too.”

Ellie just hummed in response, she hadn't learned much about the two boys from their brief meeting the other night, but they seemed alright. Plus, it was nice to branch out, back in West Virginia she hadn't been close with many, and the opportunity for loads of friends in the Outer Banks was exciting.

The rest of the drive was mainly silent, Rafe and Ellie weren't the greatest at conversation, the little time they had spent together already had been filled with kisses and sex (and snorting coke, apparently), making them usually too busy for talking.

It was odd for Ellie, she was a talkative person and easily fell into conversation with everyone. But for some reason, silence with Rafe was almost more comforting, and she didn't mind it.

His right hand left it's place on the wheel, making its way to her thigh. The touch was unexpected, they had only known each other a couple of days and aside from their hookups, there hadn't been much else between them. Even so, Ellie didn't mind, she enjoyed the feeling of his palm on her bare thigh, just under the hem of her shorts, and she rested her hand on top of his.

Eventually, they pulled up to a house. She could see the two boys from the party sat in the front yard, Topper wearing sunglasses and leaned back in his lawn chair, Kelce sat forward with a glass in her hand. Rafe sounded the horn, causing Topper, who was back on to the driveway, to jump, and she giggled at his reaction. Rafe looked at her from the corner of his eye, watching her as she laughed.

He admired her, which was weird for him. He'd felt this way about a couple of girls before, but it didn't happen often, and it usually took longer than a couple of days. Watching her laugh, Rafe felt happy, something he didn't feel very often. He knew, at that moment that he would do whatever he could to not lose this girl.

They got out of the truck and made their way over to the two boys. After some introductions, even though the two boys and Ellie technically knew each other, the four teenagers easily fell into conversation. Ellie found herself laughing and smiling, listening closely every time Rafe spoke. She's never seen him so talkative, and she enjoyed it, listening to him joke and chat with his friends.

“Let’s go swimming,” Kelce suggested after about an hour of just sitting around, day drinking, and talking.

“Alright, let’s head to my house then,” Topper said, a mutual agreement between the boys that they were going swimming in the pool.

Ellie spoke up. “Actually, could we go to the beach? I’ve never been swimming in the ocean.”

The three boys were shocked at her confession. “Are you serious? You’ve never been swimming in the ocean?” Rafe repeated.

She shook her head. “Rafe, I hadn’t seen the ocean until I got on the ferry to come here.”

So the plans were quickly changed, and after the boys changed in the house, they began the short walk to the beach. Ellie didn’t have a bathing suit, but bra and underwear were basically the same thing anyway, and frankly, she didn’t give two shits.

The minute they hit the sand her shoes were kicked off, sand flying up behind her as she ran towards the water. She dipped her toes in slowly and let out a shriek. “It’s cold!”

She quickly peeled off her shirt and shorts, Rafe letting out a whistle as she stripped on the beach. She flipped him off behind her as she ran into the water, too excited to care. Sure, her thong didn’t leave much to the imagination, but it still covered more than some of her bikinis.

Ellie stood up to her waist in water, not wanting to go further until she was used to the temperature. But she didn’t hear Rafe sneaking up behind her until his arms wrapped around her.

“Rafe!” She squealed as he picked her up. He reached down to squeeze her butt quickly before beginning to rock her, threatening to throw her in. “Rafe no!”

The last thing she saw was the smirk on his face, Kelce and Topper laughing behind him as her body hit the water. The cold shocked her, but it also felt nice, and she fought to open her eyes, wanting to see the ocean floor. 

Ellie submerged, shooting a playful glare at Rafe. She quickly splashed him, but that resulted in Kelce getting splashed too as he was now standing by Rafe. “Hey!” He yelled, not hesitating to splash her back.

Ellie liked Kelce. He was nice, and she got along well with him. They had immediately clicked, and she could see herself becoming close friends with him.

The three boys continued to flick water towards her. “Hey! This isn’t fair, it’s three against one!” Suddenly an idea popped in her head and she dove under the water, swimming so that she was behind Kelce. She jumped on his back, pumping her fist in the air. “AHA! Can’t get me without getting Kelce!”

But her plan had failed because Topper and Rafe didn’t care about Kelce. The battle was now two against one, Kelce cursing her as she jumped back into the water to help him. She stuck out her tongue playful, having more fun than she had in a while.

Ellie was too distracted to notice four figures walking along the beach. Pope stopped and shielded his eyes, looking out towards the water. “Hey, isn’t that Ellie?”

The other three pogues stopped to look. She was now sat on Rafe’s shoulders, the three ganged up against Kelce. “Yup,” Kie said.

JJ turned and started to walk away, huffing as his hands balled into fists. “Whatever guys. Come on. She obviously enjoys the kooks more.”

John B jogged to keep up with the angry blond. “Woah, bro calm down. Just cause we hate the kooks don’t mean she has to. She looks like she’s having a good time. Be happy that she’s fitting in well here.”

“Yeah, having a great time with them half-fucking-naked,” JJ mumbled, still walking quickly away. The first thing he had noticed was that instead of a bathing suit, she was in a lacy bra and thong set.

“JJ. Chill,” John B said, still trying to calm him down. Kiara and Pope had caught up at this point, the three pogues glancing between each other at JJ’s weird reaction.

“She’s with fucking kooks, John B! They’ll make her never want to hang out with us again.”

“JJ, do you have a crush?” Kiara teased gently.

“Shut up.” Was the only response she got.

~~~

The next day, after a long shift at The Wreck, Ellie decided to text JJ. It was a beautiful day, and she decided she wanted to go surfing if JJ was willing to teach her.

JJ quickly responded, agreeing to meet her at the beach in an hour. He was still upset after seeing her with the kooks, but he knew that he had no right to be mad and he wasn’t going to turn down a chance to be alone with Ellie.

Ellie rushed home, showering and changing before grabbing a board that her aunt assured her she could borrow. She was a bit nervous to surf for the first time, but she was also excited to see JJ for the first time in a couple of days.

Once she got to the beach, JJ was already there, lying down on his board. “Hey JJ!” She called, trying to run down to meet him but struggling because of the board under her arm.

He sat up and turned to face her. “Hey, El.”

Ellie finally reached him and sat down. “El? That’s a new nickname. No one calls me that.”

JJ smiled at her. “Guess it’ll be just for me to use then.”

Ellie smiled, her cheeks turning slightly pink, though she wasn’t sure why. JJ noticed, and the smirk on his face grew. “Come on El, let’s get started.”

Ellie nodded, standing up to pull off her shirt and shorts to reveal her red bikini. JJ couldn’t help but stare, the girl looked like a goddess. He had seen many girls, wearing much less than a bikini, but none of them had caused the reaction that Ellie did.

The deep red of her bathing suit complemented her skin perfectly. Usually, with girls, JJ wouldn’t spend too much time examining their bodies, but Ellie was different. He couldn’t stop looking at her, taking in all her perfections and imperfections. He noted how smooth her skin looked, how much he wanted to hold her. He eyed the slight stretch marks on her hips, wanting nothing than to rub his fingers gently over them and kiss them. Ellie was doing things to JJ, things he had never felt before.

“Enjoying the view?” Ellie giggled as she noticed the boy staring, striking a couple of dramatic poses causing him to laugh. One of the things Ellie was most proud of was her confidence, she loved her body and loved to flaunt it. It had taken her a long time to get to that place of self-love, so why shouldn’t she show it off?

“Obviously,” JJ smirked, knocked out of his deep thoughts about how beautiful Ellie was, and instead back to his usual, sarcastic self. “Ready to get started?”

They started on the sand, JJ teaching Ellie how to properly sit and stand on her board. Every time he would put his hands on her waist to help her or adjust her, her whole body would feel warm and she wasn’t entirely sure why. The only thing she knew for sure was that she enjoyed the feeling of JJ’s hands on her.

“Okay, I think we should go in the water.” Ellie nodded in agreement and JJ continued, “Let’s just get you used to paddling first. Then in a bit, we can try some waves. If you fall, don’t get discouraged, it takes a while to master surfing.”

JJ was surprised. After just a few falls, Ellie was surfing... And doing a damn good job at it for it being her first time. He watched as she rode the wave, her bottom lip gently held between her teeth as she concentrated on keeping her balance. She almost made it to the shore, tumbling at the end. She shot up and rushed towards JJ, a huge smile on her face.

“I did it! I did it, JJ! You’re the best teacher!”

He shook his head, amazed at the fact that she had caught on so quickly. “Holy shit, El. I’ve never seen someone do that good their first time.” He paused, contemplating whether or not to continue. “It took me a week to just stand up on the board without falling.” He knew Ellie was about to tease him, so he quickly added on, “I was six, by the way.”

Ellie sat on her board next to him, the two just letting their boards drift in the water. “I skateboard,” She told him. “Once I stood up on the board I realized it was pretty similar. I guess the skills transfer.”

“You any good at skateboarding?”

“Pro.” Ellie grinned. She had never got much time to skateboard back home, always too busy with her sister and schoolwork. But the time she did get, she cherished, and she hoped to have a lot more time at the hobby in the Outer Banks.

They laughed and joked for a bit, Ellie chuckling at all of JJ’s attempts to flirt. In reality, though, she enjoyed it, he knew what he was doing and even made her blush a few times.

“So have you ever had a boyfriend?” JJ asked, deciding to change the topic to learn more about the girl he hardly knew.

Ellie slowly shook her head. “No. Never had the time. More of a hookup kind of girl.”

JJ whooped and held up his hand for a high five. “Ay, me too!”

She giggled as JJ continued the interrogation. “Why didn’t you have the time? Are you super into school?”

Ellie sighed, knowing the conversation would eventually turn this way. “No, I did my homework but I didn’t spend much time at it. I just had to take care of my sister, my mom-” Ellie trailed off, staring anywhere but at JJ. “My mom couldn’t-She couldn’t-” But Ellie couldn’t get the words out. Her mom's addiction was the one thing in her life she struggled to talk about. It was also the one thing she didn’t want to follow her to the Outer Banks, but she found herself not wanting to keep the secret from JJ.

JJ noticed the tears rolling down her cheeks and moved closer to her. “Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to continue.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, careful not to knock her off her board.

“My mom’s a drug addict.” She finally blurted out, the tears coming much quicker now. “It runs in my family. My grandfather was an addict too. She just... My mom gave up on me. All she cares about is the fucking drugs and she basically abandoned me and my sister. Even though she never left the fucking house. The house that I had to try and pay for.” The words just started coming and she couldn’t get them to stop. She had never told all of this to someone, even though people knew, they never knew her true feelings.

She wasn’t sure why she decided to spill to JJ, but he was listening, and she felt like he cared. “I want to hate her, JJ. I want to hate her so bad. But I can’t, cause I love her. She’s my mom. And I’m scared. I don’t want to end up on the same path.” The reminder of the cocaine she had done popped in her brain but she pushed it away, not wanting to think about the mistake she made.

JJ didn’t move from where he was holding her, instead tightening his grip slightly. He thought about Rafe, wanted to warn her that he was also a drug addict and that she should stay away from him before something bad happened, but he decided against it. That wasn’t what she needed to hear right now, he’d tell her later.

“El I’m so sorry.” She didn’t respond, just sobbed slightly. “My dad’s an alcoholic,” He continued, and Ellie turned to face him, eyes wide with tears as she realized he was opening up to her as well. “When he gets drunk, he gets violent. He hits me.” JJ motioned to the various bruises littered around his torso. “Everyone thinks these are from fights with kooks, but they’re not. All from my piece of shit dad.

“He blames me for my mom leaving. She broke him when she left, and instead of accepting that he fucked up, he’d rather blame it on me. And I want to hate him, I know how you feel. But I can’t. Cause I love him.” He repeated her words, blinking away tears.

“I don’t want to end up like him,” He sobbed out. “But I’m already so violent. I get in fights all the time. What if I end up like him, El?”

“You won’t.” She whispered trying to comfort him.

He glanced up at her. “And you won’t end up like your mom, either.”

She knew that was wrong. She was already on her way. But she didn’t say anything, and instead, they sat in silence. Neither of them knew how long they stayed there, just floating in the water, but it felt nice. JJ’s arm had moved from her shoulder and was now holding her hand. Ellie had a huge weight lifted off of her. she finally told someone what she’d been wanting to say for years, and for once she could relax.

It was JJ who spoke first. “We should head in.” The two made their way back to the beach. Ellie put the board down, drying herself off before pulling her clothes back on.

“I’m heading to the chateau to hang with the others. Wanna come?” JJ offered.

She smiled. “Yeah, I would like that. But JJ?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you not tell them what I just told you?”

“Of course El.” JJ picked up his board and then moved to pick up hers before she could. He started the walk up the beach, motioning with his head for her to follow. She watched him for a minute as he walked away before following him.

She wouldn’t admit it to herself, but she had a much better time with JJ than with Rafe. If her head wasn’t clouded with the thoughts of coke and the fact that Rafe was the one who had it, she might have even said she was falling for JJ.

And little did she know, JJ was falling for her too.

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