#and she'll fit anywhere!!!!

[electoons]

I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS

Has it already been proposed that Hatsune Miku is essentially the digital age successor to the cultural niche originally established by Betty Boop, did I see that somewhere or is it a weird thing my autism told me

[imaginespazzi]

Since you follow the W, who do you think is likely to get the #1 pick/Paige next year? Where do you think would be a good fit for her?

Oh this is a hard question to answer right now because it really could be anywhere.

I think the most likely option is she ends up in either L.A or Dallas. L.A. doesn't seemed poised for a particularly great year. Dallas is in this because they have Chicago's pick and the Sky also don't seem poised for a particularly great year. L.A with Cam and Rickea would be nice but if you read my WNBA spiel, I think Dallas is one move away from being a championship contender and that move very much could be getting Paige alongside Arike and Satou.

There's still a possibility it might be Golden State. It wouldn't follow precedent but it could still happen.

Mike Thibault briefly implied the Mystics are gonna tank so it could be them but they did pretty well last year and the lottery is based off of a 2-year performance so the odds don't really favor them getting the #1 pick.

Minnesota could get it and I've seen some draft boards have here there which obviously would be great for many reasons, one of which is that the Lynx are just a really good culture. But I think the Lynx are gonna be good this year personally so I don't see it.

And finally there is the chance that since New York has Phoenix's pick, that she ends up with Liberty. I would obviously be over the moon if this happened cause Paige and Stewie? Lives would change. But this is all dependent on Phoenix and on paper, they seem like they're not gonna be that terrible so I guess we'll see.

I realize that didn't really narrow it down at all but I promise if you ask me again midway/end of the W season, I'll have a much better answer.

[dawnedon]

i think dawn is going to get a ceruledge when she goes to paldea. as a treat.

[ddejavvu]

pairing: james potter x reader

summary: your yule ball date goes south. James picks up the pieces

a/n: this is relatively close to a scene that's gonna be in a large marauders fic i've had as a WIP for forever so if you read that in a year and think hm that sounds vaguely familiar no it literally doesn't

You've never felt any strong kinship towards James Potter before, but now, shoulder to shoulder, equally stunned looks on your faces, you know you share an experience most don't.

"Well," James hums, dazedly, free from anger even if it should be present, "Alright then."

Neither of your should-be ball dates look up from where they're snogging each other in one of the utility closets covered up by paper streamers and an appetizer table, and you feel irritation begin blooming in your chest the way that they won't even look at you. Perhaps they can't hear you, perhaps there's fireworks in their heads and they're sharing one of those everything-else-melts-away moments.

Good for them.

You turn on your stiletto heel and head pointedly but casually towards the door to the balcony. You're eager for the cool night air on your skin- the crowd seems suffocating now. You snag a bottle of something you're sure was meant for the professors on the way out, keeping it tucked to your side to ensure no one sees you leave with it. It's amber in color and you'll figure out what it is later; right now your only concern is getting out.

You examine your feelings staring out over the grounds, moonlight bathing your skin and making the gems on your dress glimmer. You should be sad. Devastated, even, what with your date shacking up with some other girl when he should have been dancing with you. But you're not.

It's an unpleasant feeling, but it's betrayal more than heartbreak. You suppose you were never really head over heels for the boy you'd agreed to go with, it was just nice to be asked. To be wanted.

A wistful love song leaks out from the open doors to the ballroom, and you chew on its lyrics as you fit your mouth around the spout of your bottle. It warms you, your tongue suddenly heavy and tingling as you swallow a fair mouthful of the stuff.

"That was a sloppy grab," Someone calls from behind you, and you're surprisingly not tense when you recognize it as Potter's, "Someone could have seen you."

"We're not all mischief makers, Potter," You let the ghost of a smile cross your face as you stare out over the grounds, liquor residue leaving them sticky, "You should teach a class on smuggling things in and out of the school."

"I have thought about being a professor here," He admits, taking the place beside you and leaning out over the railing, "DADA if I could get it. Don't think Minnie's goin' anywhere or I'd go for Transfiguration."

"She'll be teaching our grandkids," You laugh, "And god save this school if you're ever hired."

"I'd be great." He assures you, a laugh in his eyes rather than his mouth, "So. Are you- ehm, okay?"

"Yeah." You shrug, your bare shoulders catching the slight breeze where your dress cuts them out, "It's- I'm fine. He wasn't the love of my life. Just sucks he lead me on is all."

"Right. Me too." James nods, "I- I wanted things to work with her. But I suppose in ten years I saw myself with someone else."

You attempt another sip of liquor after a bout of heavy silence, but James's hand holds the bottle away from your mouth, "Hey, slow down, killer! Liver failure is not a good method of revenge."

"Two sips won't kill me," You scoff, but you don't fight him when his large, warm hand takes the bottle from you, "You just want some for yourself."

"Yes and no." He grins, taking a swig of his own, "For courage, I s'pose. And dance moves."

You raise a brow at him, listening as the song changes from a ballad to a swinging one, something that makes you want to let loose and experiment with moves you've seen only middle-aged men showcase at weddings.

"Come on." He offers you a hand, setting the bottle aside and straightening off of the railing, "Come on, you've gotten dressed up to dance tonight, and there's no one else out on this balcony. Just you and me, let's do it."

"I got dressed up tonight to fuck," You clarify, but you're not sure if you really mean it- anything to ward away any good luck that comes to you before it sours like most things seem to be tonight.

"Well that can come after. I'm not fond of exhibitionism," James explains, hand still outstretched as you straighten your dress instead of taking it, "Come on. I'm about to lay out some truly heinous dance moves and I'll be making a fool out of myself if you don't join me."

The beat of the song really is tempting, an oldie but goodie that you'd danced to in your bedroom a thousand times before.

With a decisive huff you surge forwards, taking his hand and letting yourself relax into the rhythm the song sets for the pair of you. James is not wrong- he's a sight to behold while he's dancing, but you let him be your example and soon you're both choking on laughter as you swing each other across the balcony and dance circles around each other. The song dies down into another ballad and you let James press you politely against him, his hands never straying further than your waist as you hold his shoulders.

"I'm almost glad he ditched me," You muse, chest heaving slightly from exertion, "I don't think he would have danced with me like that."

"Mine was- uhm, she wasn't fantastic conversation." James admits, "I feel bad, but-"

"No, she's an airhead." You nod, knowing all too well that the girl James had escorted into the ballroom tonight did perhaps everything in her power to never have an intelligent thought, "It's harsh but it's true."

He nods, and your head comes to rest comfortably against his chest, cheek pressed into his dress robes.

"Thanks, James." You murmur, squeezing his shoulders gently. You feel more than hear his response, but the soft, suddenly tender, 'My pleasure, Y/N.' warms you more than the liquor had, the perfect antidote to the cool air out on the balcony as you sway in time with James.

[espressiimartinii]

i. god forbid a woman have hobbies

part 1

summary: after accidentally leaking the news of her signing a contract, y/n l/n gives damage control her best shot, and it ends... better than she thought.

pairing: none - it's all platonic 💅

warnings: apart from rewriting actual events so they fit better, there may be a sprinkle of typical motorsport ✨sexism✨

author note: this project is literally the blind leading the blind, cause i don't know what's happening and neither do you... anyway... sorry to certain drivers i am writing out of existing in f1 seasons... my bad

previous | masterlist | next

fake outs

she'll throw hands anywhere and at anytime

congratulations filter in

Scuderia Toro Rosso We are so happy to announce that y/nl/n_official has joined our driver line up for the 2018 season!

y/nl/n_official thank you so much for this opportunity, i'm so exited to be part of the team alexirexi you are going to KILL IT (for legal reasons, i don't mean the literal meaning of kill...) y/nstans what if she does kill it? 😈😈 *liked by y/nl/n_official*

trossofan this is a big win for the team!!!

jbeni we have a chance to be top 10 every race now... omg..

pierregasly congratulations! please do not take me out in the races! y/nl/n_official i don't see a button that turns friendly fire off, sorry buddy - better learn how to dodge 👊 pierregasly is everyone seeing this?? she is threatening? womeninf1 we see, but it'll be funny so we don't care

y/nluvme i'm so READY so PUMPED

fernandoalo_oficial congratulations y/n, i will try to stay out of your way on the track 👍 y/nl/n_official thank you so much fernando, i will go out of my way to get you now 😊

l/nnextwdc OMG RBR PIPELINE

danielricciardo You can't shunt me if I shunt you first 🤔 y/nl/n_official okay old man danielricciardo Old?!

f1brainrot not the promises to take out her teammate and the grid 💀

mclarenforwdc i'm so sad that she didn't sign with mclaren... the power fernando and her could have had y/nbeliever they would be unstoppable.....

surves THAT'S MY FRIEND CONGRATS!! 💖 *liked by y/nl/n_official*

forzaferrari i'll bet that she ends up last in the 2018 rankings.... f1brainrot did you finish your first race in formula at the age of 17?? did you? no?? shut up then

see more comments

note: oh yeah, it's all coming together in my head.

[leeharkerd]

warnings: public sex, mentions of fisting, overstimulation, pussy inspections, thigh-riding, impact play, sex toys, bondage mentions?, possessiveness, rimming, masturbation, crying during sex, hair pulling, deepthroating, slut-shaming, this shit is so ooc but i could care less

exhibitionist!queen maeve who backs you up into any corner or wall at any chance she gets to push her muscled thigh between your own, testing your desperation and need for her in public "dont want people to hear us do you? for people to catch us? so do us both a favor and keep quiet." you could feel your own juices covering her thigh, but she kept at it. continuing to flex her thigh against your pussy until you finally came.

mean!queen maeve who slutshames you to humiliate you, putting her cigarettes out on your thighs. "you like being my ashtray, hm?" her big, veiny hands parting your legs to tease you through your panties as she groans mixed insults and praises. she wants to work you to the edge, see how fucking far you go but she knows you cant handle it. "come on look at me." she slaps your clothed clit harshly to get your attention but it just fucking tips you over, and you cum right then and there. shes surprised, but that doesnt keep her from rubbing you. "let me hear you. let me hear how much you like being fucked and slapped around like you're nothing. don't you have any self respect? any dignity? or are you just a whore? a whore, made to be used hm?"

possessive!queen maeve who bends you over any counter to inspect your pussy, making sure nobody has ever touched you besides herself. opening up your lips and poking and prodding at your open cunt, licking her lips as she pushes a finger or two in, listening to the way you whine and squeeze around her fingers. saying that "shes only ever wanted the best for you" while fucking your cunt with 3 fingers, her other hand grabbing your ass to hold you in place as you writhe. you shake and cry as she presses her thumb to rub your clit, wanting you to tell her that you'll never let anyone use you besides her. "your pussy was made for my fingers, they just fit so perfect. just makes me wonder how many i could fit, if i could maybe even fit my whole fuckin' hand in here." making it known that shes the only one who could touch and fuck you the way she does, the only one who knows how to play with you.

(CONSENSUAL) perverted!queen maeve who will stare at you like youre fucking meat. grope your tits while youre making the bed, only for her to finger your cunt until youre gushing onto her palm. she'll come up behind you while youre cleaning, pulling her arms around your waist and slipping her hands beneath the waistband of your panties. "i bet you'd let me fuck you anywhere, bend you over anything." she says, her big hand cupping your pussy just so perfectly as she rubs your clit to completion. sometimes she'll even run her hands over the arch of your back and down to your ass while youre making dinner, pulling your pants down to your ankles as she drops to her knees to run her tongue over your perfect little hole. she'd even go as far to masturbate in the living room while you're watching tv "look don't touch" making you stare at her as she runs her own hands over her nipples, as she pushes a finger deep into her own pussy as you watch and listen.

pathetic!queen maeve who whines as she sucks on your clit, because shes just so damn desperate to please you. her hands clasp around your thighs and youre sure its gonna mark so you grab her hair, craning her head back so you can get a better look at her face. her mascara is running down her cheeks, your juices smeared around her lips, and all she can do is just look at you with the most pathetic puppy eyes ever. "all..all i ever want is you." soon enough you have her sprawled out on the bed, a vibrating bullet buried deep into her pussy, and all she can do is strain against the restraints as the toy brings her to climax."i just want...want to make you happy." later, shes back to her knees, crying as you push your fake cock deep into her throat. when you pull away from her all she does is push her face up closer to you, the spit-covered cock up against her cheek now.

touch starved!queen maeve who cums in a solid 3 minutes after not being with anyone in almost 5 years, shes almost embarrassed until you work her right up to another one. she's crying, tiny little tear drops leaving her eyes as she cums once more, and all she can do is beg. "pleasepleaseplease- fuck me again, i-i can take more." and she's desperate, really, you know that. but how can you fucking deny her when shes begging like that?

okay so this isnt the stuff i usually write, but ive been SOOO obsessed with her lately. yes i know there is grammar mistakes i wrote this so late at night so bear with me...if its that bad put it in grammarly <3

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Playful prompts for tadc cast playing hide and seek with hider reader?

Awe this is a cute idea! (not including Caine bc I see him as the one organizing this game).

.........

Pomni

During her first week inside the Digital Circus, she's slowly adapting to everything...although she refuses to give up on finding an exit.

But when Caine forced everybody to play some hide n' seek, with you being the hider, she really doesn't want any part of it.

However you convinced her to play along, whispering that if she found you first, you'll share what you remembered from your old life as a "prize".

Although initially annoyed you wouldn't just tell her, she becomes motivated searching high and low, opening doors, looking down barrels, etc.

When she finally finds you (courtesy of a glitching object), she's anxious to hear what you had to say-

Unfortunately Caine decides to pop in and put on a big celebration for Pomni winning the game...which goes on the whole damn day up until everybody goes to bed that night.

You seemingly forgot what you were gonna tell her, to which she gets upset and angry that you gave her false hope, sulking in her room.

But you slide a note under her door, explaining that you only recently remembered your real name.

Suddenly she realizes that maybe her memories weren't 100% gone.

If you could suddenly remember your name, then....surely she can, too!

Gangle

After Jax was mean to her during the last hide n' seek game, you try cheering her up by playing another one.

It didn't involve Caine or anybody else. Just you two.

She mopes about being a terrible seeker. But since you're her best friend (and you promised her a prize), she'll go along if it makes you happy.

You decide to hide in spots that she would 100% think to check, deliberately allowing her to win.

Since she's all ribbons, it's easy for her to slink around and squeeze into tight spaces.

After finding you three times, she gets suspicious that you're purposefully going easy on her-

But she stops her accusations as you finally present her prize:

It's a brand new comedy mask!! Except this one wasn't made of porcelain or ceramic, instead being unbreakable material (or at least material that's couldn't casually be broken by anyone, especially Jax).

Gangle sobs with happiness before putting the mask on, squealing over how perfectly it fits, and hugging you tightly.

Thanks to you, she can finally feel joyful again!

Zooble

They'd rather do anything else....

But since this little hide n' seek "adventure" was all Caine's idea, she has no choice but to go along with it.

Even so, she puts the least amount effort into the game.

When you're the hider and she's the seeker, they just pray to whatever god is in this world (besides Caine) that you aren't anywhere in the Gloink cavern.

She'd rather not get discombobulated again.

Sometimes, she'll throw parts of herself in the direction where she thinks you're hiding, hoping to startle you into giving away your location so this dumb game can finally end.

Lucky for you, you know their tricks and keep quiet.

She doesn't expect any prizes (unless it's a limb that makes her body not look like a hot mess).

If they find you, she'll be like "yay I win..now I'm going back to my room" and saunter off.

Kinger

Like Zooble, he'd much rather do something else.

But he goes along with Caine's game anyways after you enticed him into playing for a prize.

Whatever momentarily stops his sanity from spiraling, I guess.

He searches high and low, getting nervous when he can't find you anywhere in the places he'd 100% expect you to be.

Lowkey starts to wonder if something terrible actually happened to you--like if you were trapped and not even Caine could help you.

The last place he could think of was your room but.....he doesn't have your key.

At the same time, he knew you weren't a cheater. You wouldn't hide somewhere that nobody else (except Jax) could access!

In the end, he goes back to his fort to sulk, openly declaring that you've won the game.

As it turns out, you chose to hide in that same fort, and you jump out with a grin, feeling victorious.

Kinger just stares at you for a solid 10 seconds.....before he suddenly screams and asks why tf you were in there.

You feel bad for scaring him, so you reward him for at least trying: a jar with a caterpillar currently wrapped up in a chrysalis.

He LOVES it, but now he carries around the jar every second of the day, staring at it until the little bug hatches.

At least now he has a reason not to fall off the deep end just yet.

Jax

Hide n' seek is like child's play to him.

Somehow this cheeky bastard knows exactly where you're hiding no matter what, even if it's outside the tent (like at the lake or fair).

It's definitely tarnishing your reputation as the best "hider" out of all of the gang.

When you ask him how tf he knew, he just shrugs and says "you're too predictable, try a better spot next time".

Hiding in your room is definitely not an option, as he's stolen your key (and would point out that would be cheating if someone else was the seeker instead)--so there truly is no place to hide.

Like Zooble, he's not in it for some prize.

It is, however, quite rewarding seeing you get so frustrated when he effortlessly finds you.

And that's enough for him

If it's a game involving everyone, then he just straight-up mocks the others for not realizing the very obvious spot (or at least to him it was obvious) you were hiding in.

Ragatha

She's probably the most enthusiastic about Hide n' seek (like you have mentioned, it's a good distraction from the stresses of being stuck in this virtual world).

Is also a fair and honest player, never once peeking while she counts to 10.

Like Pomni, she does her best to find you first, searching places she knows you frequent--or mentioned liking in the past.

But you're definitely the best hider out of everyone, so it's a little challenging.

Still, she refuses to give up!

When she does successfully find you, you and Caine decided that she should get a prize for being such a great seeker.

It's her very own centipede-repellent spray bottle.

While it won't stop Jax from trying to sneak those little pests into her room, the mist will deter them from coming near her at all and help her conquer her fear.

She's forever grateful and sprays it around her bed every night before she sleeps.

Oh, and she'll definitely threaten Jax with it if he even mentioned centipedes around her.

[spiderfunkz]

enemies to lovers with natasha . . . where the avengers team thought it was a good idea to spend the holidays in your cabin by the woods. where they know you and nat won't get along well, but hey, it's not an avengers holiday without a bit of drama.

enemies to lovers with natasha . . . where she secretly gets jealous when steve holds you by the waist to help you balance while you put the star on top of the tree. where she'll 'accidentally' spill hot chocolate on your shirt so you can borrow one of hers, because apparently 'hers fit you the best'.

enemies to lovers with natasha . . . where you find her up late at night drinking half of your bottle of wine. where she'll complain that she couldn't sleep because it was 'too cold'. where you'll eventually join her to the point you're both drunk and laughing, where you actually start to get along for once.

enemies to lovers with natasha . . . where all of that wine makes natasha drunkenly confess to you. and since you have been drinking the wine too you didn't process it correctly. but as everyone says, drunk words are just sober thoughts. thoughts that both you and nat have been hiding.

enemies to lovers with natasha . . . where nat wakes up in your bed with you sleeping beside her, her head dizzy from last nights wine. she must've complained too much about her room being too cold to the point you suggest sleeping in your bed together.

where you wake up with nat staring at you confused, rubbing her head. "what are you doing in my bed?" you groan, rubbing your eyes as you try to remember what led to this. "you snore loudly." she replies, causing you to roll your eyes. "get out of my bed. you have your own room here." you stare, natasha smirks teasingly before getting out of your bed.

enemies to lovers with natasha . . . where a small saying leads into a heated argument. too heated the point nat pins you near one of the door frames that leads to a hallway. where you'll send her a flirty remark before looking up to see she's under a mistletoe you strategically hung.

enemies to lovers with natasha . . . where she'll look up to see the mistletoe, one of her hands still pinning you against the door frame. "are you scared of a little fake plant?" you'll challenge her, "no." the tension between you and her growing. "well then do it." you smirk, "do what?" — "kiss me." and so she did, which left you speechless and blushing.

"do you want me to do that again? this mistletoe isn't going anywhere."

requested by @patriphagy ! (my reqs for nat r open btw)

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @steddie-spooktober.

Bats in the Belfry

Prompt: Bats | Word Count: 2400 | Rating: T | POV: Steve | Pairing: Pre-Steddie | CW: Language | Tags: Post S4 Events, Eddie Died...Or Did He?, Eddie Munson: Bat Boy, Steve Harrington: Exasperated Human

There's a colony of bats that keep swarming the house. It's odd. They've never been there before, and now it's like they're drawn to him. Steve wonders if this is some sort of horrible side effect of his bat bites from the Upside Down. Maybe he's a bat whisperer now, but he can't be sure because they won't light anywhere long enough for him to actually interact with them.

Not that he really wants to interact with them. But if they are gonna keep roosting around the pool, he'd rather find out why.

It's not the first time he thinks that if Eddie were still here, then at least he'd have someone else to ask, to see if this is happening to him, too. But he's not, and Steve's had to come to terms with that. He failed. They lost one of their own. Yeah, Eddie was new to the group, and Steve didn't know him well, but Dustin is mourning his loss. Big time. 

They all are, in their own ways.

Steve is just handing over cash to pay for the pizza he's had delivered, when a bat flies in through the front door, and immediately clings to the ceiling, out of reach. Great, that's just what Steve needs. A bat in his house. Robin will really freak out if he can't get it out before bedtime. She'll be sure he's gonna get rabies if he goes to sleep with that thing in here, and undoubtedly gets bit by it. And honestly? He cannot get that awful round of shots around his belly button just to ease her mind. He can't.

He loves her, but that's not happening.

So, Steve finds the broom in the closet, and tries to usher the bat back outside without letting more in, but it's not at all interested in exiting. Instead flies right up the stairs, and as Steve gives chase, he sees it fly into his open bedroom.

Great. Just fantastic.

Now, it's just sitting on the edge of his headboard, staring back at him.

"Um, I think you're a little lost. The other bats are hanging out by the pool," Steve says. Which, fine. He can give up the pool. But he really can't give up his bedroom. 

The bat just tilts his little head, as if he's listening, but not taking initiative to get the fuck out of the house.

"You can't stay here, you have to leave," Steve says and goes and opens his bedroom window. "Out!"

Then the bat zips over, but not to leave. Of course not. Instead it perches on Steve's shoulder and Steve's first instinct is to knock it away and scream bloody murder. But he doesn't. He just tries to focus on the little eyes looking back at him. He's too close to really see it well, but Steve's trying.

Steve leans towards the open window, and shakes and shimmies, trying to force it to let go of his shirt, but the bat just leans in the opposite direction, towards Steve's neck. Wings tickling Steve's skin. The bat is clearly not leaving.

Then it starts squeaking and chirping, and batting its wings and Steve sees why. There are other bats flapping towards the open window.

Oh, hell no.

He slams it shut.

"Are they picking on you for some reason?" Steve asks, as if he'll get an answer. "It's not because you have rabies, right?"

The bat doesn't answer, of course, but kind of slaps him in the face with a wing, and Steve's gonna take that as a no. 

"I can't have a pet bat," Steve says, "that's weird, even for everything I've ever experienced."

Then, like it's offended, it's flapping its way into the closet, rooting around, as if it's looking for something, if that's possible.

Steve peeks in, and watches as it settles on Eddie's stained battle vest. 

Well, that seems fitting, somehow.

Steve pushes the other clothes around, giving the bat some room, and closes the door to the closet. Leaving it in darkness. They like that, don't they? He thinks so. Nocturnal and all that shit.

And at least it's trapped in the closet, and not flying around the room.

"Don't bite me. That's the only rule," Steve says through the closed door, and hopes it fucking listens if it somehow finds its way out overnight.

In the morning, Steve cracks open the door and peeks into the closet, and where the bat was last night, is something that's taken the shape of Eddie Munson right there on the floor, buck-ass naked.

Now, Steve screams.

And that wakes the Eddie-shaped thing up, making it jump. Steve is fucking freaked out, and he slams the closet door shut, and leans against it. Blocking whatever that thing is, inside. Steve needs help. He needs Robin, and Nancy, the kids. He needs everybody. He needs his bat, the nailed one, not whatever this thing is. 

But he can't get any of those things without leaving his post and possibly letting this thing loose.

"What are you?" Steve demands through the door he's trying to hold shut. Every monster he's faced has been, well, pretty straightforwardly monster-looking. Not human at all.

"I'm Kas the Betrayer! Kas the Destroyer! Kas the Bloody-Handed! The First Vampire!" it shouts, way too loud and over-dramatic. It sounds ridiculous.

"Really?" Steve asks. Because he's suspicious of these claims. All that? It's a little much. 

There's a chuckle behind the door, "No, of course not, Harrington. I'm the town freak, accused murderer," comes the voice that sounds exactly like Eddie. It sends a chill down Steve's spine.

And then he's mad.

"No, you're not! Eddie's dead!" Steve yells, because whatever it actually is, saying that, well, that's pissing him off. If Dustin sees this thing, he's gonna freak out.

"Really not, big boy," Eddie says, and that gives Steve pause.

It can't be. No way. 

"Eddie?"

"That's my name, don't wear it out," Eddie snarks, and Steve laughs. His heart is still pounding, but he loosens up, just a little. Maybe this is Eddie. Somehow. El's different and they've all accepted her, so, maybe Eddie is different now, too.

"Are you a bat?" Steve asks.

"Only sometimes. I can't control it."

"Are you really a vampire?" Steve asks.

"Not that I know of," Eddie answers. "But I could bite you, and then we'd find out together." 

Steve sighs with exasperation. 

"Be serious. Are you gonna attack me if I open the closet door?" Steve questions, because he's not in the mood for a fight. Not this early in the morning.

"Wasn't planning on it," Eddie says, dryly. "Can I at least get some underwear before you fling those doors open, though? For my modesty, dude. I'm feeling a little exposed in here. It's awfully breezy for a closet. There's an air vent blowing right up my crac-"

"Okay, okay, hold your horses," Steve interrupts.

If this isn't Eddie, it's a damn good mimic, and Steve supposes if that's the case, it deserves to kill him, just for being such a good actor. 

Steve goes over to his dresser, and picks up his walkie, turning it on, clipping it to his belt under his shirt. Just in case. Grabs his nailbat from under the bed, leaning it against the dresser.

Then he looks inside the top drawer, shouting, "Boxers or briefs?"

"Boxers!" Eddie answers, and Steve picks out a pair that he could stand to lose, and cracks the door open, and holds them out. A pale, ring-covered hand takes them. 

"You keep your rings when you change, but not your clothes?" Steve asks, leaning against the door again. Suspicious.

"I don't make the rules, Harrington. Last time I woke up wearing only my socks. That was a great look."

Steve laughs, even if he doesn't want to, even if he wants to be cautious. It just sounds dumb enough to be something that could happen to Eddie Munson, if he was turning into a bat.

Then, a minute later, "Okay. My dick's covered."

Steve shakes his head, unable to bite back the smile that threatens to split his face, as he eases the door open. As promised, Eddie's standing there in Steve's boxers, dick covered, and Eddie's also scrounged up an old swim team long-sleeve t-shirt from the depths of the closet.

And then they just stare at each other.

"Eddie?"

"Yep."

"Explain yourself," Steve says, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Um, I'm a part-time bat now?" Eddie says, looking sheepish. "From the bites, I guess?"

"I'm not a bat! And I got bit, too!" Steve screeches. He doesn't think he's a bat. But what if he's a bat and he just hasn't realized it yet? Fuck. Maybe he's a goddamn bat and that's why all the bats are lurking around the house.

"Did you die?" Eddie asks, "Because I did, I think. At least a little. Something happened when I came back."

"You became a bat? Can you like, poof, switch? Is there smoke?" Steve asks, then digs in his dresser, tossing Eddie a pair of joggers.

When he looks back, Eddie's at least a little more decent. Then he digs out a pair of socks, and tosses them over.

Eddie hops around getting them on each of his feet.

"No, I'm not Dracula," Eddie says, "Jesus H. Christ, Harrington. Keep up. Like I said. I can't control it. At least, not yet. The sun goes down? Bat. The sun goes up? Eddie. Most of the time, anyway. It's frustratingly unpredictable."

Steve ponders that, "Are you still…you? When you're a bat? Like, do you remember it?"

"Yeah, sure, I just can't talk. Which, for me, that's pretty fucking rough, man."

"I bet," Steve snarks, and Eddie just grins. 

Steve's relieved. He's probably not a bat, then. But he better make sure.

"Am I a bat?" Steve asks.

"Yep. You're the ringleader. King Steve, Bat God."

"Really?" Steve asks, the idea making him a little queasy. He doesn't want to be the ringleader of bats.

"No! You don't think you'd know if you were a bat? I think you're the one with bats in the belfry!" Eddie snaps, waving his arms around his head, indicating he thinks Steve is the crazy one. Which is pretty fucking rich, coming from bat boy over here.

"I don't know! I've never been a bat before!" Steve argues back, hands on his hips.

"And you still aren't one now!" Eddie yaps.

If he's not the King of Bats, and they aren't at the house to follow him, well. He has a thought: "Are you the one that brought all the goddamn bats to my house, then?"

"Um, no?" Eddie says, clearly lying.

"Eddie."

"I didn't mean to. They all started following me. Like they think I'm their leader. I can't shake 'em. When I saw the opportunity to get away from them and get into your house at the same time, I took it. Sorry about that."

"You don't sound sorry."

"I'm not, I lied to make you feel better," Eddie says, and Steve laughs, and Eddie smiles at him. It's good to see him, honestly.

And he allows himself a second or two just to take him in, alive and mostly well, then declares, "I'm glad you're okay. Sometimes bat or not."

"Thanks, Steve. Me too."

"Does anyone else know about you?" Steve asks, because they're gonna have to protect him. Just like they protect El. The special ones, amongst them. Keep it quiet.

"Um, no?" Eddie says, clearly lying again.

"Eddie."

"My uncle. And Gareth."

Steve is only vaguely aware of who that is, and only because of Henderson.

"That's it? Just the two of them?" Two's not so bad. They can deal with two-

"And JeffandGoodie," Eddie adds in a rush, as if mashing the two names together will make it less of a problem. Steve crosses his arms. 

"Eddie! You should have told one of us first. Me, or Henderson. Nancy. Lucas, Erica-"

"I'm scared of Erica," Eddie interrupts.

"Join the club, we're all scared of Erica!" Steve responds, "Fuck, you could have told Mike, I don't care. Just any one of us, in the know."

"I'm so sorry, Harrington, that I went to my own friends first instead of you and your monster version of the Scooby Gang. Hardy Boys. Nancy Drew. I don't know. All of you freaks."

Steve laughs, "Oh, now we're the freaks?"

"You know about monsters. You kill monsters. That's kind of freak behavior, Harrington."

Fair enough, Steve supposes, and he giggles at the thought of himself in an ascot like Fred Jones. Eddie's just poking at him. It's what he's always been good at, running his mouth and pissing people off.

Snapping back to the problem at hand, he honestly thinks he likes Eddie Munson. Smart mouth and all. Maybe they could be friends. Which he could have never imagined saying before spring break. He's really glad Eddie made it out, even if he's changed. They're all changed, just not in the exact same way as Eddie, and that's okay.

He's gotta tell Henderson. Pull that kid out of his funk. And Eddie's gonna love seeing Henderson's longer hair, rings and whole Eddie-inspired change. Steve's gotta be there when Eddie lays eyes on him for the first time.

"My band, they're pretty excited. A metal band with a real bat playing lead guitar? That's a multi-million dollar proposal, right?"

"Sure, Munson. I just hope after your first gig you enjoy your government sponsored cage, because that's exactly where you'll end up. Being poked and prodded. The freak."

Eddie sighs, and flops on Steve's bed, "I know. But let a guy dream."

Steve nods, and lays down next to him, shoulder-to-shoulder, "Eddie Munson. Bat Boy. Just like I saw on the cover of The National Enquirer."

"Weekly World News, Harrington, get it right."

And Steve just laughs, turning his head to look at him, "We should call the others. They'll be so excited to see you."

"Give me a few minutes?" Eddie asks, and Steve nods. He can give him a few minutes. 

And they just lay there in the quiet, the morning sun peeking through the curtains. Warm glow, all around.

"I turn into a bat," Eddie finally says.

"Yes, you do," Steve confirms.

How fucking weird is that? Only in Hawkins.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries, pop over to @steddie-spooktober and follow along with the spooky fun! 🦇

Notes: Bat Boy did not actually make his debut in the supermarket tabloid Weekly World News until 1992. Guess in their universe he popped up a little bit earlier, lol. I couldn't resist. And the twenty-one shots around belly button rabies shots have gone out of standard since the 80s.

[2btheanswertothequestion]

(part 3 of November Paramedic; part 2 is here.)

When Gareth mentioned a plan to locate Eddie’s paramedic in shining armor, Eddie assumed it'd be him getting into various accidents all over Indianapolis. It's something the little shit would've found funny, okay! But, Gareth's plan is much less hazardous and slightly more logical: lurk around the university until they spot him. Like a pair of drug dealers trying to tempt the goody-two-shoes protagonist into addiction and sin on an 80s Saturday morning cartoon.

It's not the simplest task since they don't know when Steve might be there. Also, other responsibilities mean they can only spare so many hours loitering. So, thirteen days post-hatching plan and nineteen days post-meeting Steve (not that Eddie's been counting or anything), with nothing to show for their ethically questionable behavior, Eddie is ready to give up. Especially since both of them have a rare simultaneous day off. Usually, those are spent jamming, smoking, playing D&D… literally anything other than this.

"This is fucking stupid," he says, cigarette clenched between his teeth. "We're not gonna run into him."

"Sure we are," Gareth says. He drops his butt among the dozens they've chain-smoked and lights another without meeting Eddie's gaze. "We're getting closer. I can feel it."

"The only thing you're feeling is delusional. It's time to give up."

"Eddie, c'mon-"

"Nope." One last drag and Eddie stomps out his cig. "Fuck this; I'm out."

He stalks toward his van at the far end of the parking lot. Gareth curses before running after him.

"Dude!" he exclaims, jogging to keep up with Eddie's longer strides. "You can't just give up! What about what you said-"

"I was being stupid. What was I even imagining? We orchestrate another meeting and, what, I use my freakish wiles and seduce him? And then we'll live happily ever after…" Eddie shakes his head. "It doesn't work like that. He'd probably turn out to be a douche anyhow."

"No, listen!" Gareth seizes Eddie's arm and yanks him to a stop in the middle of the lot. "You always do this. Self-sabotage and cut things short, even when there's potential."

Eddie scoffs. "You know what else always happens? I end up liking them more than they like me. It's not fun."

"You don't know it'll be like that this time. You have to try."

"No."

Eddie takes a step back. He's done; he's out. Gareth reaches for his wrist to pull him back in. He jerks away, almost losing his footing and stumbling into the burgundy car behind him. Gareth's arms shoot out to help, but Eddie steadies himself before crashing. For a second, silence reigns as they assure everyone's on solid ground. Then Eddie opens his mouth to once and for all-

"Eddie? Gareth?"

Their heads snap to the side, eyes landing on… Max? Looking unusually dressy in high-waisted shorts and a fitted top under an oversized jacket, and her hair in a high ponytail. She's got her skateboard under her arm, a messenger bag with a textbook sticking out, and a confused furrow between her eyebrows.

"What are you doing here?" she asks.

Fuck. They can't tell her the truth – she'll never let him live it down. Fortunately, Gareth realizes this too, because he says:

"Uh, I go to school here? What are you doing here? The math building is way over there."

She rolls her eyes and leans on the burgundy car. It's a shiny BMW M5 – the limited anniversary edition. Jesus fucking Christ, Eddie almost dented that thing! It's worth more than his life. And Max is slouching against it like it's nothing. He could warn her not to scratch it, but she's unlikely to care; she's always been metal that way.

"Waiting for my friends," she says. "We have dinner on Tuesdays."

Eddie's ears ignite. Dinner? With friends? While wearing what's basically a date outfit?

"Ooohhh…" he says, sharing a grin with Gareth. "And do these friends include someone special?"

She shrugs, looking anywhere but at him. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"C'mon, Red! You're killing me! I need to know if he's good enough for you."

His fingers hover over her ponytail, as if to tug at it. She slaps his hand away.

"You're annoying."

He laughs. This terrible day just became infinitely better. He won't rest until he gets what he wants – or until she punches him, which'll probably come first. He's about to tell her so when a voice calls her name. Both turn to look, and…

It's a boy Max's age. He's beaming and waving, quickening his steps toward her. She smiles too, almost shyly, as she waves back. It's the perfect opportunity for teasing, if Eddie's day hadn't just become infinitely better.

His tongue is heavy, his skin is itching, his heart is bruising his ribs from the inside. Sweat is gathering in his pits and it's getting a little hard to breathe. Because walking half a pace behind the boy, carrying a huge duffel with such ease it might actually be stuffed with feathers, is… is…

"Yesssss!" Gareth hisses next to him. He may also be fist-pumping. Eddie isn't looking.

"Hey!" The boy stops in front of Max. "Sorry, practice ran late."

"It's okay," she says, cooler than ice, though her eyes are glittering. "I just got here."

She says something else, or maybe the boy does? It's all background noise, because Steve has caught up. Steve, in jeans and a polo that must've been tailored to his exact measurements because oooooooooohhhh boy. Steve, unshouldering the bag, muscles shifting and straining under his shirt with the movement. Steve, smiling, his golden eyes flying over Eddie.

"Hey! Eddie and Gareth, right?"

Eddie draws a sharp breath. He remembers!

"Y-Yeah!" he squeaks, hands fluttering to either wave or shake hands, ultimately doing neither. "Hi! You're here!"

"I am," Steve says, casual, as if inane conversations with former patients happen on the regular.

(It better not – Eddie doesn't do well in competitive settings.)

Max, keen eyes darting between them, asks, "You know each other?"

"Met at work," Steve says. "Or, I was working and he…"

"Ah." Max taps her temple. "That."

"How do you know them?" the boy asks her.

She points at Eddie. "Neighbor. And that's the guy who dumpster dives outside our apartment building."

Gareth flips her off. Eddie would laugh, but he's busy pretending he doesn't know what Steve looks like shirtless. It's hard (pun slowly growing more relevant) – his gaze keeps dropping to the polo's undone top button. Steve is just as gorgeous out of uniform, and now Eddie's thighs are tingling with want. He could stare at him forever…

Unfortunately, 'forever' is cut short by a woman arriving in a flurry. Wait, no. 'Flurry' implies some sort of graceful whimsy, while this person… she's a hurricane crashing into a house.

"Sorry I'm late! Nielsen wouldn't stop talking and got angry when people started leaving because it's an important lecture so this girl called him out for not keeping time because he goes on all these tangents and he said they're interesting tidbits and she said it's disrespecting our time and-" She pauses for breath. "You don't care, do you?"

Max, Steve, and the boy shake their heads.

"Right. Sorry." The woman turns to Eddie and Gareth. "Hi! I'm Robin. And you are?"

"My neighbor and his friend. Steve treated his concussion," Max rattles off, glaring at them. "You didn't answer my question: why are you here?"

Gareth frowns. "I told you," he says, pointing at the building. "School." He points at himself. "Student."

Max glares harder. "You don't have class on Tuesdays. And Eddie doesn't go here at all."

"I had stuff I needed to drop off."

"Is tagging along a crime? Jesus."

Max doesn't reply, though her glare remains.

Robin hums. "Okay, so this is super-enjoyable, I love just standing around, but I'm starving, so…" She looks at Steve, who nods.

"Yeah, we're going," he says, but neither moves. He glances at Eddie, which makes her glance at Eddie, and then they make a series of eyebrow-movements at each other, ending in a shared smile. Steve asks, "Have you guys eaten yet?"

Eddie shakes his head, pulse racing. Is this going where he thinks it is?

"D'you wanna come with? There's this diner we like…"

Holyshityesitis!

"Yeah!" Fuck, too eager. "I mean, uh, sure, sounds good."

"Cool." Grinning, Steve clicks a remote car key; the burgundy BMW beeps. What the fuck? How high is a paramedic's salary?! "Did you drive here?"

"I, uh…" Eddie falters. Shit, wasn't he supposed to? It's been three weeks and he feels fine – he thought he was in the green!

"Nope! I did!" Gareth says, 'proving' it by hauling his house keys from his pocket and jingling them.

Steve nods. "Should be safe for you to drive again, but the less strain you put on your brain, the better. Even a mild concussion isn't anything to sneeze at."

"Y-Yeah, I've been taking it easy. Basically done nothing. Until now."

Max snorts. Eddie is going to pour coffee through her mail slot.

They decide Eddie and Gareth will follow Steve's car to the diner, since Steve can't fit all of them (the real reason he asked if they drove here, duh). It's good because Eddie gets the chance to panic/gush/collect himself in the privacy of his van. It's bad because Gareth drives, lest their fib be revealed. Gareth spends the ten-minute journey gloating about driving Eddie's beloved girl, interspersed with 'I told you so!'s.

The diner is cozy, all wooden furniture and sepia photographs on the walls. A graying waitress who smells like tobacco directs them to a booth and takes their orders. An awkward silence then falls as they wait for someone to speak.

The boy clears his throat. "My name is Lucas, by the way. I don't think I said." After shaking his hand and introducing themselves, Lucas says to Eddie, "I think Max has mentioned you."

"Oh yeah? I've been dying for her to mention y- Ow!"

Eddie rubs where Max kicked his shin. Her glare is murderous. Lucas is blushing happily, though.

"So, what d'you guys do?" Robin asks.

Right. Time to small-talk like adults. Eddie gets his job as a mechanic out of the way, then gives the word to Gareth, who tells them he's a creative writing major. Robin turns out to be getting a masters in linguistics and Lucas studies biology.

"I don't actually know what I want to do, but biology feels broad enough to give me options, y'know? I can go to med school, or forensics, or, I don't know, paleontology?" he says. Max glows brighter with every word that comes out of his mouth. Cute.

This then segues into talking about their friends, who by the sound of it lead incredibly interesting lives.

"Dustin's at MIT, Mike's at Oxford, Will's in San Francisco…" Lucas says, counting on his fingers.

Max interjects, "El's in Africa building houses and teaching kids English."

"Erica is still at home, finishing high school and drowning in early acceptance letters to, like, every Ivy League there is," Steve says with a look of pure pride.

"Nancy and Jonathan – they're our age – are chasing scoops in Afghanistan… " Robin says.

"... and Argyle is also in California," Lucas finishes.

Eddie whistles. "And here we are, still in Indianapolis."

"Dude, I'm surprised I got this far," Steve says. "Wouldn't've managed without her."

He jerks a thumb in Robin's direction, who preens at the acknowledgment. Robin's cool, Eddie decides. Garrulous but fun and nice… and verrrrrrrrry close to Steve. The kind of close where they're always in each other's space. Where they wordlessly transfer food between their plates. Where Steve unceremoniously wipes a speck of ketchup off Robin's chin after she repeatedly fails to get it. They're comfortable, but not necessarily romantically affectionate. Like they're siblings rather than lovers.

(Dear God, if you are in heaven, let them be siblings.)

Conversation flows. They joke around, tell stories, swap opinions. Robin gets passionate about tonal shifts when stage shows are adapted to film, and Eddie tries not to stare at Steve's mouth as he eats. And then, once their plates are cleaned and they're waiting for dessert, Gareth leans his elbows on the table and fixes Steve with a purposeful look.

"I figured out where I've seen you before."

Eddie stiffens.

Steve blinks. "At campus, right?"

"Thought so, but no. I realized it's actually…" Gareth chuckles. "It's ridiculous, but uh, my mom had this calendar…"

Steve recoils, red flooding his face. Robin, Lucas, and Max shriek in delight, Robin grabbing Steve's arm and shaking it as he hides behind his hands.

"And my mom," Gareth says between bursts of laughter, "she's shameless, all right? She kept it in our kitchen. So during, what was it, November?"

"November," Steve confirms, muffled.

"For 30 days, if I wanted to check the date or make a notation… I saw you."

Tears stream down Robin's face, she's laughing so hard. She and Max have started chanting 'Slut! Slut! Slut!' at the still crimson Steve.

"You don't understand," Lucas says, gesturing for emphasis. "We've been waiting for someone to come up and say 'hey, weren't you…?' for years. Thank you so much!"

"Hey, thank my mom," Gareth says. Eddie's quite stunned he'd throw his own mother under the bus like that. She's a really nice person, too!

"Makes sense," Max says. "Moms love Steve."

"All parents do," Lucas says.

Cackling, Robin pinches Steve's cheek. "Gotta hide your mom and your dad around Steve!"

Steve bats her off, flushed but smiling. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. You got your wish, now shut it."

That only makes the three restart the chant to ridicule him for his harlotry. Steve's indignant squawk that 'it was for charity!' merely has everyone laugh more.

And Eddie? Well. As he sits beholding this man who works as a paramedic and drives a luxury car, who models for charity and allows his friends to mock him for it, who blushes and giggles when they lovingly call him a whore…

All Eddie can think is that he's in fucking trouble.

Afterward, it only makes sense for Eddie to drive Max home. Steve shakes his hand outside the diner, saying it was nice to see him again. Eddie, not knowing how to ask for Steve's contact info without seeming weird, agrees. He waits until the BMW drives off, then tells Gareth to get the fuck out of his seat. Gareth relocates to the backseat, whining since Max already called shotgun.

The initial minutes, they're quiet. Then Max turns to Gareth and says:

"When were you telling me Eddie is your mom?"

"Huh?"

"You said you knew about the calendar because of your mom. But that's not true."

The warmth drains from Eddie's face; his knuckles crack around the steering wheel. Gareth's expression is the epitome of 'oh shit' when he meets Eddie's gaze in the rear-view mirror.

"Yes, it is," Gareth says.

"It's not," Max says.

"It is!"

"It's not! The calendar was for 2021, and in November '21 you were a freshman and had already moved into the dorms! If your mom kept it in her kitchen, you wouldn't have seen it!"

She scowls at Gareth, mouth pinched and eyes flashing, daring him to contradict her.

Gareth swallows thickly. "It… wasn't for 2021."

"Yes, it was."

"How do you know?"

She puts her hands in her lap and lifts her chin, almost primly. Eddie gasps as the penny drops.

Gareth screams, "WHAT!"

"You have it?" Eddie cries. "Why do you have it?"

She scoffs. "You know why – you've seen his pecs."

"I don't- Okay, how're you so sure it's me?"

"Because you spent all of dinner looking like you wanted to crawl inside his mouth and live there." Her nose wrinkles. "At least I hope it was his mouth you want to crawl into-"

She's cut off by Gareth shouting "I can't hear you! Lalalalalalala-"

Eddie crumples in his seat. He's depleted of blood, air, life, everything. Behind, Gareth is grilling Max for information: are Steve and Robin together? Is Steve single? Is he queer?

Max replies: no, yes, and 'that's not for me to tell, moron'.

Gareth nods, satisfied. "That means he is. If he was straight, you'd say so." He slaps Eddie's arm. "You got a shot, man!"

"You… don't know that…" Eddie wheezes.

Max tuts, shaking her head. "You actually want to hit on my chauffeur."

"He prefers the term 'seduce'," Gareth says.

Eddie smacks his face into the steering wheel at the next red light.

------------------------------

Tag list: @rougenancy, @raisedbylibrarians, @yourebuckingkiddingme, @swimmingbirdrunningrock, @emma77645, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @eddielives1986, @stevesbipanic, @the-redthread, @fandemonium-takes-its-toll, @henderdads, @gay-little-bitch, @lordofthepointygerbils, @lenore1232, @imzadidragonfly, @zerokrox-blog, @eddiemunsonswife, @cherrycolas-things, @ediewentmissing, @princess-eddie, @atombombbibunny, @ajamlessbaby, @dogswithforks, @grimmfitzz, @cutiecusp, @cuips-not-cute, @manicallydepressedrobot, @messrs-weasley, @madaboutmunson, @mightbeasleep, @suikatto, @brassreign, @snapshotmaestro, @bea-sayan, @courtjestermunson, @csinnamon-fox, @steveisabicon, @spectrum-spectre, @spinmewriteround, @just-super-fucking-gay, @escapingthereality, @oneweirdcryptid, @deehellcat, @misticageri, @lovelyscot, @olivethenerd16, @linkydinky06, @rynnytintin, @anything-thats-rock-and-roll,

I won't be adding more to the tag list because there are already so many of you. Instead, I'll be tagging the four remaining parts (it'll definitely be seven in total, btw) as #steddie fic: november paramedic. Hopefully, they'll show up in the tags and you'll see them that way.

Thank you for reading 🖤

Part 4

[lezzballer]

do you have any girlfriend headcanons for diana?

Diana Taurasi girlfriend headcanons

(somewhere in the 2008-2012 era)

∞ Diana will flirt with you incessantly for years. But she's very very comfortable with flirty lighthearted friendships that never go anywhere. So she won't do anything to evolve the relationship beyond that. If you want to be with her, you need to be the one to make the first move

∞ Diana loves dates. She loves everything about dates. Beaches, sunsets, picnics, cafes, lounges, restaurants, food, wine, live piano, flowers, jewelry, ambience, architecture. She loves giving and receiving gifts and experiences

∞ Diana will only call you her girlfriend if she's extremely serious about you. All the women she wasn't serious about were just friends to her, not girlfriends. So she hasn't actually had many girlfriends

∞ Because Diana hasn't actually had many girlfriends, she doesn't have much relationship experience. She doesn't really know what she wants or needs from a relationship. All she knows is she wants and needs to be around you 24/7

∞ Diana wants to let you into her whole life. So get ready to spend some time in the Inland Empire

∞ You have to navigate a language barrier to mesh with her family. And you have to make sure her sister adores you. If you can't do that, your relationship with Diana won't last. But Diana is drawn to you because she knows you'll fit in with them. She wouldn't bring you to Chino unless she was sure you belonged with her family

∞ Diana always calls you "my love." Sometimes she'll even call you "mi amor"

∞ Diana looks up to you and admires you and genuinely believes you're way out of her league

∞ When she looks at you, you feel like the most important thing in the world to her. She'll take your hands in hers and give you a look, saying nothing in a way that says everything

∞ She'll say mild flirty things to other women to brighten their day. But that's just talk. It doesn't mean anything to her. She's yours and you trust her.

∞ She's very playful. There are times when she can't say a single serious word. She'll pretend to be a completely different person just for fun. She knows that outsiders project a domineering power-hungry personality onto her. So she likes to act out a parody of the person they think she is. But you know who she really is. The idea that your soft silly self-deprecating woman could ever go through with any interpersonal cruelty is absurd. All you can do is laugh

∞ Diana is a nuzzler. She will nuzzle you whenever and wherever. She'll nuzzle you in the middle of a mundane conversation about nothing in particular. She likes to rest her head on your shoulder and press her face into your neck

∞ Even though Diana's only in her 20s, she already has a litany of chronic health problems. Back problems, skin problems, mental problems. Her entire left hand broke and healed wrong. Her spine is a nightmare. And now that you're her girlfriend, her problems are your problems, too. When you take care of her, it fills her with love and wonder. She's never had a relationship like this

∞ Diana is addicted to basketball. But the moment you have a crisis in your life, she'll leave her team to be by your side. And she'll take care of you the way you take care of her

∞ The challenging thing about being with Diana is her worldview. She believes there's more bad than good in the world. She doesn't believe in miracles and she doesn't believe in the future. The only thing she feels she can rely on in life is the present moment. That makes it difficult to plan a life together. The only way through this is to lead the way and see if she follows you. So far, she's followed you every time.

[whoopsiesnodaisies]

When Lily Evans discovered she was a witch she became OBSESSED with the Salem witch trials. She'd scream and cry as she read about it, "That could've been me."

It's why she hates muggles as much as she hates purebloods some days. She'll never be allowed anywhere, she'll never fit in.

[wileys-russo]

can we have a ficlet for hopeless with tooney

hopeless

"el did something just fall?" you frowned hearing a thump from ella's kitchen, going to stand as the mancunian was quick to push you back down.

"maybe! i'll go check, gotta make sure the potatos hasn't grown legs and walked out the pot." the girl joked, beaming at the small laugh it earned her. she went to hurry away but hesitated, turning back around and kissing you sweetly before she did.

bursting into her kitchen and spotting alessia clutching at her stomach on the floor trying her best to silently laugh, ella's eyes narrowed.

"would you shut up! she'll hear ya." ella hissed, smacking alessia harshly with a wooden spoon as the blonde sat up. "hey we're doin you a massive favour here tooney. bit of respect yeah?" mary snatched the utensil from her grasp as ella huffed.

"it has to go perfect! please." her tone softened on that last word, as did both her friends faces who nodded, mary extending a hand and helping alessia to her feet. "i don't see why you didn't just take her out for a nice meal tooney." alessia sighed, dusting the flour off of her shorts which had been what caused her to slip in the first place.

"cause we always go out and i want to do somethin special when i ask her!" ella explained, rubbing her face with a stressed groan. "el is everything okay? are you sure i can't help?" her eyes widened as you called out from the living room.

"i'm sure love i'll be in in just a minute!" she yelled back, gesturing her hands around for mary and alessia to continue cooking. "lying is hardly the way to start a relationship tooney." mary warned, dismissed by the younger girl who darted back out of the kitchen, firmly closing the doors behind her.

the two of you had been on a handful of dates by now and ella had never been more sure she wanted you officially as her girlfriend. but with a panicked mind and determined to impress you she wanted to do it in the most special way she could.

she knew though you weren't shy you didn't love large crowds, so with that in mind she didn't want to ask you anywhere you'd feel you had the pressure of an audience. so naturally her home seemed to fit best, finally having moved out of millie's place and into one of her own.

so she'd invited you round for a nice meal after training, disguising it as she'd just missed you and wanted to be able to spend more than five minutes alone with you, your team mates constantly teasing or interrupting the two of you.

there was just one problem and that was that ella couldn't cook to save her life, and she worried if she did cook that if you ate whatever she did she might jeopardize your life.

so practically getting on her knees to beg the two older girls, was how she'd roped mary and alessia into being her own secret chefs for the evening, having had many a delicious meal at either of their respective houses.

"everything okay?" you asked with a small frown of concern as ella joined you again, nodding quickly. "hand towel rack just fell down, cheap glue." she'd hastily lied, internally hitting herself for how lame it sounded.

"ya best not have looked at my cards kid!" ella warned playfully, taking her seat beside you and swiping her pile back up off the coffee table. "the only cheater here is you, i've seen how you use maya as a decoy when they play poker on the bus." you grinned, ella scoffing and waving you off.

"i have simply no idea what you're talkin bout baby."

you swooned at the pet name paired with her thick accent, surprising the girl with a quick kiss before you got comfortable again. "right. got any four's?" you questioned, peering at her over the top of your cards. "you did look at them!" ella accused, grumpily handing over a few cards.

"nah, i just have x-ray vision." you teased with a wink. "what colour's my underwear then?" ella gave you a toothy grin and a wink as you smacked her forehead with a playing card.

"do you have to check on dinner babe? i don't want you to get distracted by my good looks and winning charm." you teased after a few more rounds, ella unfortunately on a hot streak of winning, not able to bring herself to confess she was using her floor to roof mirror behind you to cheat.

"think we both know who the real winner is love." ella smirked, ruffling your hair before she grabbed your face and pressed a searing kiss to your lips, pecking them a few more times as you chased for them to return, watching as she gave you a cheeky wave and darted off to the kitchen.

ella sighed in relief as she spotted her best friends putting the finishing touches on the meal, already having dished most of it up. "oh god i could kiss ya both!" ella groaned gratefully, hugging both girls tightly who smiled, both adoring to see their two team mates finally smitten and happy with one another despite how much they teased the two of you for it.

"yeah yeah yeah. don't forget you owe us!" mary warned, handing ella a plate packed to the brim. "big time tooney, and we will be cashing in." alessia added on, handing her another plate stacked high with food as ella nodded furtively.

thanking them again as they both sat up on the counter with their own food, ella was very careful as she used her back to open the door to the kitchen. "dinner is served!" ella sung out, heart soaring at the way your eyes lit up.

"ah!" ella warned, holding up a hand and pulling out your chair for you. "what a gentlewoman you are." you smiled, bending your head back as she pressed a tender kiss to your lips. "this smells amazing." you sighed happily, ella having already set the table with candles and a gorgeous bunch of flowers to further set the mood.

"before we eat! i wanted to ask ya somethin." ella started as you nodded, encouraging her to continue. "okay." ella wiped her palms on her pants, slightly clammy with nerves.

"just gonna come out and say it. will ya be my girlfriend?" ella rambled out, the entire two page speech she'd written earlier that day and rehearsed over and over with alessia's help thrown out the window.

"of course i will el, nothing would make me prouder." you smiled softly, pushing your chair back a little and leaning in, ella meeting you in the middle as you shared a tender kiss.

"now. are you going to invite your little helpers to eat with us or are they banished to the kitchen?" you smirked, twirling your fork around in your fingers as ella's eyes almost bugged out of her head.

"what! ya knew the whole time? how?"

"el...i've eaten more of mary's roast dinners than i've had hot showers. i knew the moment i stepped inside and smelled her cooking! and less's mercedes is a bit hard to miss parked out the front." you laughed, ella thumping back into her chair with a groan.

"it was a very sweet idea but next time i can happily cook us dinner, girlfriend."

[voxsremotec0ck]

Some of your clothes go missing, where are they?

With Vox: In his bed. He sleeps with them, if they fit then he sleeps in them. Probably starts a second shrine of his to put them in, the first shrine is for Alastor. Will dress his body pillow up in them. Will definitely walk around wearing any 'missing' vests, socks or underwear under his normal outfits if they fit, you won't be able to tell but he blushes extra hard if he talks to you while doing so. You'll probably not going to get them back.

With Valentino: In his bed. He 'uses' them, has atleast once tried to make Angel wear them. Will try and bribe Angel to get more once they no longer smell like you or are ruined, Angel will burn any clothes for you if Val tries to get him to return them to you. You're not going to want them back.

With Velvette: In her studio. She'll give them back right after she subtly alters them to be skimpyer, they'll go 'missing' again later and reappear with another alteration until they tastefully hardly cover anything. Will make herself matching clothes of yours and try and return clothes that are obviously hers but wants to see you wearing, if you take a selfie in those clothes then Vel has a new phone background.

With Alastor: In your room. He cleaned them and folded them himself and left them on your bed, probably let himself in while you were asleep. They'll smell like old fashioned clean linen but if you have a good nose then you might smell some of his cologne on it. Might even find his 'missing' bowtie in the pile so now you have to go and return his stuff instead.

With Lucifer: On him. He'll use them as pajamas, he will even change his size just so they fit. He'll 'find' them if you mention looking for them. There's a good chance of you bumping into to him while he's wearing them in the morning as he goes to get breakfast, he forgot he was wearing them and not his own pajamas, he'll blush super hard and prays to his father that you won't say anything. If you do then there's a good chance he'll start stripping out of them right then and there to hand them back, you and Charlie has to remind him that he can use magic or he'll end up standing in his boxers and carrying a pile of your clothes in front of everyone.

With Blitzø: In his pocket. He sleeps with them anywhere he goes. will literally throw them at you if you bring up them being missing with an excuse that he found them. If they lose their scent and you don't mention any missing clothes then more clothes will go 'missing' and he'll literally make himself a nest of your 'missing' clothes.

With Fizzarolli & Asmodeus: On Fizz. Fizz has no shame and will just walk right up to you wearing your missing clothes. Fizz and Ozzie will encourage you to steal their clothes when ever you want too, except Fizzs hats because he has to choose them for you. Fizz steals ALL your clothes because he need alot of them in order to make a nest big enough to fit you, him and Ozzie. There's a chance Ozzie will be wearing clothes that look identical to the ones Fizz is currently wearing, there a chance that the only difference is that Ozzies clothes will be cut so his nipples are showing.

I- anon you’re just out here doing my job for me huh?? And doing it BETTER JFC

All of these are perfect omg LIKE VALS IS SO SPOT ON I CANT

Thank you for the meal😭🙏

[tma-thoughts]

Ive been thinking a lot about the bechdel test. If you've ever been anywhere on the internet, you'll know it as a test of a piece of media's female representation; a movie passes the bechdel test if 2 female characters have a conversation about something other than a man

What i think is so interesting is that, similar to the evolution of the "5 stages of grief", the bechdel test was never meant to be a measure for female representation, at least not the way it is now. The "bechdel test" was created by alison bechdel in the 80s in her comic dykes to watch out for, in which a character says she'll only watch a movie if it fits the aforementioned requirements

Bechdel got the idea from a friend, liz wallace, who in turn might have gotten it from an essay by virginia woolf. In the wider context of the strip, the "test" was a method applied by queer women to see if they could interpret female characters as also being queer

Bechdel described it as a "little lesbian joke" that was never meant to be taken seriously, but as we know the test caught on in the 2000s and is now used as a standard of female representation, with rules added on like the characters must both be named, and they must talk for at least a minute

I guess you could call it a sort of butterfly effect? A lesbian artist in the 80s writing a joke from a friend in her queer comic strip led to standards of gender bias in media 40 years later. That's the part that i really find interesting. There's something to say about queerness affecting popular culture but i can't think of a way to word it

[belle--ofthebrawl]

Oooh, for the thing - holding them close by the hips, with either Swiss/Aeon or Cirrus/Aurora plsssss

Double whammy >:3c

“Act natural.” Aeon whispers, whirling her into his arms. The welcoming gala for the next Papa was in full ceremonial swing, which meant no one had a chance to get naked yet. She couldn't wait to slip out of the short and poofy little number she’d picked out. Aeon's blush told her it would happen sooner rather than later. “Watchers at two and five o clock.”

“Who?” She breathes, next to his skin and smiles at the goosebumps that prickle up. He's so easy.

“Swiss. And Cirrus. Lookin’ like a couple of predators.” He leads her in some half-assed waltz, keeps stepping on her toes. What clumsy, easy prey they must seem to the older ghouls.

“Okay.” She says nonchalantly. “Are we leading them on a chase? Causin’ trouble?” They turn and she spots them. Closer together now, eyes narrow. Calculating. She smiles and blows a little air kiss. It isn't returned. Her heart skips a beat.

“Are we in trouble?” She asks with a little giggle as the crowd closes around them, and the hunters vanish. “I didn't do anything. What did you do?”

“Nothing!” Aeon says nervously. His ears twitch, his obvious tell. Aurora pokes her tongue out between her lips at him and he scrunches his face as she tries to lick him.

“Tell me!” She sings breathlessly.

“Rory!” He pleads.

“Kiss me.” She demands, and he does without protest. Her little Bug was always so good at following orders, from the time they met each other fighting for food scraps in the pit. Now here, the source of Lucifer’s power on earth and he still runs to her for help getting out of hot water.

“Smoked Swiss' weed and stole one of Cir’s bras.” He mutters when they part. “I heard her coming and panicked so I hid in your room. That's why she's mad at you.”

“Aeon!” She gasps, scandalized. Still grinning wickedly when he finally looks at her again. “Nasty little thief.”

Coincidentally, her first words to him when he tried to steal a particularly meaty behemoth thigh away from her. They’d tussled until she realized he was hard and then she rode him in the blood of the dead beast. No truer friendship had there been since.

“Do you think you’ll learn your lesson this time?” She coos, turning again. She can't see the hunters anywhere. Could be a good thing. Could be a bad thing.

“Yes.” He says instantly.

“Too fast, liar.” She teases. “Ooh, do you think she'll spank us?”

She doesn't care that she's being framed. Hell knew she deserved some kind of comeuppance for her own mischief, although she was far better at concealing her tracks than Aeon.

“We’ll start with a spanking.” Comes a cold voice. "Then proceed as we see fit from there." Firm hands slide around her waist, gripping tight and wrinkling the materials of her gown. Aeon goes pale as Swiss copies Cirrus, pinching and tickling the lithe quintessence ghoul before gripping his hips just as firmly.

“Maybe we'll let you hold hands through your punishment.” Swiss adds thoughtfully. They're tugged away from each other in one stunning quick motion, ending up in their predator's arms in a showy display of strength. “I think that'd be so cute.”

“Busted!” Aurora sings cheerfully, already thrumming to her core at the way Cirrus is touching her. She doesn't need to look to know Aeon's stiffy is poking up through his dress pants; a little fear always did it for him.

“How are you so happy about all this?” Aeon hisses as they're easily hefted up over strong shoulders. Swiss even gives Aeon a pre-emptive, light-hearted smack. Cirrus is tickling the back of her thighs.

“Because silly,” she snickers as they're taken away to their fate. “You aren't the only one who steals weed. And who do you think told Swiss in exchange for less spanks?”

“Rory!” Aeon wails.

“That's what you get for trying to frame me!” She sings. “I’ll take us both down babe.”

“I think I'll have her warm my strap.” Cirrus says to no one in particular. “Since she wants to be so mouthy.”

“We're doing whatever we want tonight, Mama.” Swiss purrs. “Eventually these troublemakers will learn their lesson.”

“Probably not.” Is Aurora's cheeky reply.