#and she wouldn't want to ruin that/take away that chance from him despite him hurting her

[starcchild]

((question: I realize I can make carterio canon for Carter's main verse as well as the ikau by saying she and Quentin were together while she was in college, but then they broke up pre-aou or just after. Do y'all think that could be something that'd work or just leave it as an alt-main during iw/eg?

[atoltia]

We all make our choices (don't go too far)

Eiland finds the farmer injured and bleeding at the entrance of the mines.

TW: blood, panic attack

Tags: angst with good ending

Eiland x gender neutral farmer

-0-

It was his fault.

He didn't know it would come down to something like this, didn't really think about the consequences of his decisions.

It was just so exciting at first. They'd finally have a chance to open the mines again. It just made sense in his mind. Despite the destruction the earthquake caused, it also shifted the land so much that artifacts and hidden ruins that were once completely hidden were much easier to find.

And that was great, no? Their museum needed that, needed new things to make it a place where people all around Aldaria would come to visit and be happy. Mistria definitely needed it, needed that sort of attention since he knew how much of a challenge it was just to get some of the scraps from the Capital, even with their mother and father's influence.

He just wanted what was best for Mistria, wanted what he knew would bolster their renown tenfold. It was for knowledge, it was for truth. It was selfless.

He was selfish.

He should've known, should've known, should've known. Should have listened to Errol when the man aired his concerns. Should have done more research about the mines that they had. Should have asked Olric about the things that lurked there.

But he didn't.

And you had to pay for it.

-0-

It was like any other day for you.

You did your morning chores, did your daily greetings, did your daily deliveries. You remembered spending a few minutes hanging out with Reina at the inn, with her talking about the latest recipe she was developing.

She gave you some, of course. She always made sure to save you a serving to take to the mines since it wouldn't do anyone good if you went hungry there.

And it wasn't like you'd ever refuse, even though you did think it was unnecessary. You know that you have a good head on your shoulders and wouldn't put yourself in any needless risk. Yes, accidents can happen but you've assured Dr. Valen multiple times that you'd get out of the mines the moment you get into trouble.

Yeah, you were in big trouble this time.

You remembered a rather peculiar mound of dirt at the thirty-fifth floor of the mines the last time you were there. It wasn't like you didn't see mounds of dirt anywhere else, but you knew, just knew it in your gut that there was something special there.

An artifact, maybe? It's been a while since you've gotten a legitimate artifact. The Caldosian sword that you've given to the museum was the last one and it's already been several months since you've found another one like it.

You hoped to find another one, even if it was a small piece of pottery or a broken stone tablet. You like seeing the museum fill up with artifacts from a different time, a different age. It was wonderful.

(And it also didn't hurt that it made Eiland ridiculously happy.)

It took a while for you to admit it. You didn't even want to think of it the first time you had the smallest inkling of it. You didn't come here for romance, not really. Retirement. That was the plan. To have a place to call your own, to earn an honest living without the stress and dangers of mercenary life. The mines provided enough thrill for when you needed it, anyway.

But there was something, a tiny little thing, whenever you see Eiland smile. There was that shine in his eyes that just blew away all the shadows that lodged in your heart. There was a melody to his laugh that you found you couldn't get enough of, couldn't get out of your mind. It made you go insane.

And you tried, didn't you? Tried so damn hard to just forget it, forget him, and just focus on your damn self.

Of course, we both know just how weak you are to such things.

He was just so goddamned earnest whenever he talked to you, whenever he rambled on about the history of an artifact that you've brought, of the history of this place, of the several nuances in the transitions from age to age - you didn't stand a chance.

So there you were, deep into the mines with a shovel and brush in hand, carefully extracting a broken piece of pottery engraved with words that you didn't understand.

Really, it was your fault for not fully clearing the area before you decided to dig.

You barely noticed it, barely heard the sound of the... blob? slime? heading straight towards you as you still had both hands deep into the dirt. But you felt it, though. You sure as hell felt it when a projectile the size of a fist hit you straight in the chest, hurting like a bitch.

Your sword was in your hand, quickly parrying the projectiles to send them back as you know it to be the most effective way to kill those blobs. But the throbbing at your chest distracted you too much, the blinding white of the pain making you blind.

You didn't see the other one.

It happened so fast you barely even felt it. You just knew that you fell back into the rocks, knew that you couldn't see a damned thing, and knew you had to get the fuck away.

The handles for the elevator levers were slick. It took several tries, several pulls before you were able to jumpstart the mechanism, wincing as several more projectiles hurled at your already battered body.

It took a minute. Sixty agonizing seconds before you finally reached the top of the mineshaft. Just get out, just get out, just get the fuck out and get some help.

You made it a few steps, one foot after the other, which in itself was a testament to your strength of will. Breathing was difficult and you could barely see as the world kept spinning, swaying, doubling and tripling.

You swore as your leg gave way, and once again you fell down, down to the ground as the cavern kept moving under your gaze, your hand the only thing to catch your fall. Just needed to get back, needed to get help, needed to -

The sight of your hand perplexed you.

It was like as it was normally, more scratched, dirt underneath your fingernails. But there was a slick to it, trailing down, down, dripping onto the floor.

You didn't realize your breath pick up, didn't realize the way your heart started beating wildly as you turned your eyes from your hand to your waist.

And then you saw nothing else.

-0-

He didn't know what he would have done if he didn't convince Errol to take that walk with him.

It was a cool night, the crisp autumn air a refreshing sensation against their skin as it blew away the slight inebriation they had after a few glasses of wine at the inn.

It wasn't all that late into the evening. The other townspeople would most likely still be at it for a few more hours yet. He knew that Adeline wanted him to take another hour more to just enjoy the merriment of the place, but he was just so ecstatic at the find he and Errol unearthed at the Western dig site.

Errol humored him, as he always did, and he did admit that he also wanted to get in a few more hours of work on the thing before heading to bed.

"I can't believe winter's coming around." The wind blew at Eiland's cape, rustling against his covered body. His soft, bubblegum pink hair dancing amidst the evening chill. "Adeline's already started with the logistics for this year winter festival with Nora, so we'll probably gonna be busy in the next couple of months."

He laughed, playfully nudging Errol at the next gust of wind when he stopped, raised a brow.

Eiland looked around, his brows furrowing as he turned. Errol stopped along with him, frowned as his companion did.

"Is there something wrong?"

"I think I saw something." Eiland kept turning, looking, his hands now pulling his cape closer to his body. "I think-"

He gasped, blinked, when he thought he saw the wind and leaves assemble themselves into the visage of a dragon. It held his gaze for a heartbeat, and then another, before rushing into the cave entrance.

Eiland followed without a moment's hesitation.

And almost gagged.

He saw you on the ground, eyes turning glassy as you weakly attempted to staunch your own wound.

There was blood, there was blood, there was so much blood as he stood there, eyes wide, body frozen. It was so dark, so dark and yet he could still see the glint of the one eye that peaked out from beneath your hair, the shine of it dulling by the second.

He didn't know what to do, he didn't know what to do, didn't know what to do please someone help, he didn't know what to do-

Eiland was pushed aside rather harshly as Errol stepped into the entrance, already pulling out a clean kerchief from his coat pocket. "Pull yourself together, Eiland!"

Dazed, still confused, Eiland stumbled forward to where you laid, choking in a sob when those blinking eyes of yours focused slightly the moment he got into your space, your bruised and bleeding lips quirking upwards into a soft, somewhat cocky smile at the mere sight of him.

"Don't look too good there, Pink."

"Don't talk," Eiland whispered as he desperately tried to apply pressure onto your wound. "Please." He tried hard to concentrate on the task at hand, pointedly ignored the heat of your blood on his hands. "Please just don't talk."

"Let's get them to Valen." And in one swift motion, Errol muscled you onto his wide, wide shoulders, marching as fast as he could towards town.

And still, the thick scent of iron never left his senses.

-0-

It was close to dawn when Eiland came back to the manor.

Yet the sun hasn't peaked through the horizon yet, hasn't broken the tight clutches of the night.

There were bags underneath his eyes, a paleness to his otherwise rich brown skin. His soft, pink hair mussed from being tugged at too many times that night.

The usual bounce that pepped his step was gone. That bright, enigmatic energy that bounded with him whenever he walked was nowhere to be seen.

It was touch and go, the doctor said. Minutes. It all came down to minutes. If he and Errol were a mere five minutes too late...

His legs buckled, his exhausted body hitting the wall with a loud thud, his elbow rapping against the stone when his hand wasn't fast enough to brace him.

The sharpness of the pain jolted him, woke him, pulled him back to reality as he felt the burn of the bile that he's been holding all night tickle at the back of his throat.

You almost died. He saw it clearly on Valen's face when she tended to you, saw the way her eyes turned stony when those deft hands of hers worked on you.

There was a grimness to it. Those first two hours were the slowest of his life as he waited for Valen's word. As he waited with baited breath, waited, prayed to the dragon that oversaw the ancient people of the land from a time long gone.

The dragon was there. He saw it. So he prayed to just- please, please, please wherever it was, he just pleaded for it to watch over you.

He clutched his chest, those long fingers of his tugging, his hands pushing at his chest with the heel of his palm as he just couldn't breathe, couldn't breathe, couldn't breathe-

Eyes, bright with panic, looked around desperately, looking for something to hold on to, something to help, someone to help. But there wasn't. He was alone, he was alone, he was alone and there was no one else there everyone else was already asleep he had no one there at the time oh god please please please just help him up just help him up please it was his fault it was his fault it was his fault he knew that it was his fault that you almost died please it hurts it hurts it hurts so much please-

"Eiland!"

He choked, tears falling down his face like a violent torrent as slender arms reached over, encircling them around his waist. Smaller, firmer hands pulling him into a comforting embrace as the other rubbed at his back.

"A-adeline?"

"I've got you."

She lowered his head onto her shoulders and just rocked him, rocked him until his body unclenched, until his breathing evened out. It didn't matter how long. Didn't matter how hard he clawed at the carpet. Her brother was in trouble. That was the only thing that she needed to know.

She smelled like the plum blossom perfume that she loved, the sweetness of his evident on her being. And yet it couldn't replace smell of iron on his nose, couldn't distract him from the shaking of his hands as he remembered your blood, slick and hot, painting them with a horrifying red.

It was there, it was there, it was still there no matter how hard he scrubbed them away to the point where his hands were rubbed raw.

Not even the visage of his beloved sister could take away the image of your broken body laying just a few feet away from the mines elevator, your blood pooling around your body as your one visible eye stared at him as if it was you who came to save him instead.

It was his fault, it was his fault, it was his fault.

"No," Adeline said as she shushed him, maneuvering his body into a more comfortable position while they sat on the floor, the light of dawn slowly breaking through the massive windows. "No, it's not."

"I pushed for the mines to open, it was my fault. I almost killed-"

"You did no such thing!"

"How do you know?" His voice was barely a whisper, a pathetic blow of air as he drenched his sister's shoulder with his tears. The hands that were clawing at the carpet, now ruined with his own blood, gripped at Adeline's dress. "How do you know?"

"I just do." The way his brother cried devastated her. In all the years that they've lived together, in the years that they grew up together, she's never seen him this way and it just tore her to shred.

She tugged him up. "You need sleep."

He didn't resist. Not even when she hauled him to his bedroom, not when she removed his cape, not when she urged him to take his boots off, not when she tucked him under the covers.

"I'll be here, " she assured him as she pulled a chair over. "Just go to sleep."

He fell asleep in seconds.

-0-

Eiland sprinted to the clinic by mid afternoon.

He just woke up and without any other thought, just bolted out of bed to go to you. He didn't know what time it was, found that he didn't care. He just knew that he needed to get to you.

He quickly rapped at the door, his bandaged fingers stinging, as he looked around the window, trying to see if he could get a glimpse of you.

Valen opened the door, and Eiland noted the bags under her eyes, but she smiled at him as she let him in, chuckling as he headed straight towards the single private room she had at the clinic.

He did his best to be quiet as he peered through the door, fully expecting you to be fast asleep.

You weren't, to his dismay, if the flutter to your eyes at the sound of his footsteps was an indication.

You've been in and out of sleep for the past few hours. Doctor Valen assured you that everything was going well, though you weren't sure if that was the truth or if she just didn't want to scare you any further.

There was barely any memory of that night. You remembered that you were getting artifacts, remembered that you got attacked. But other than that? Nothing.

So to wake up at the clinic was a surprise, if a little terrifying. You weren't really the type to be fond of clinics and hospitals, even though you should have been used to it given the requirement of it ordered by your guild.

You just had to suck it up since you were already there. You weren't stubborn enough to ignore an injury, especially when said injury left you bedridden for the whole damned day.

It was boring here, too. Maybe you could borrow a book from Valen later, but other than that, there was nothing else that you could do except for maybe sleeping another ten hours away.

So to have Eiland peep through the door was a welcome distraction.

And yet you frowned. His hair was in disarray. Exhaustion was evident on his face and there was a hollowness to his expression that upset you.

You didn't like that expression on his. Didn't like it one bit.

"How are you?"

There was a smile on that tired face, and you were a little relieved to see that it reached Eiland's eyes.

"I wanna go home," you said a little cheekily. "I hurt like hell and I wanna sleep on my own bed."

The chuckle that Eiland gave was all the lift you needed, ecstatic that it seemed to push the dark cloud over the man's head away. But it seemed to have come back just as quickly.

Eiland tried to hold it together, did his best to not show you just how terrified he was. But seeing you on the bed, with flecks of dried blood on your face and fingers, with bruises that littered your body, was very close to breaking him.

He sucked in a breath, closed his eyes as his fingers clutched at your bedsheets. His lips trembled so much that he bit it. Hard. But still it didn't stop the tears from flowing.

"I'm sorry."

You frowned. "What for?"

"It's just-" he looked away, tried to reach for the composure that was ingrained in him since a very young age. "I'll talk about it later, okay? After you've been discharged."

It upset you to not know what was hurting him like this, but seeing how he seemed like he was only being held together by a single thread, you let it go.

"Come here," you said when Eiland kept quiet. You took his hand when he reached over, tugged him closer to you, holding his trembling hand in yours.

"I was so scared," Eiland murmured as he massaged the back of your hand. "I was so scared that I-" He caught himself, inhaled. Looked away.

"I thought I was going to lose you."

You blinked at him. And it clicked.

You smiled.

"You won't. I promise."

And you held each other's hand even though the day grew long, even when Valen asked if Eiland would stay the night.

He did, of course. He wasn't going to leave you anytime soon.

---

Check out my masterlist! and feel free to send requests in if you like haha

So I thoroughly enjoyed writing the entirety of this lmao

angst is just so fun to write.

[duskwoodgirl4life]

Chapter 18

Cleo opened the door to find Alan standing right in front of her, every emotion was going round her head. She thought he had gone for good but here he was standing right in front of her.

Cleo: A-alan y-your here but…"Cleo raises her hand and slaps Alan round the face leaving a red mark"

Alan: Okay I definitely deserved that Cleo. I am so very sorry for what I did, I am a coward. I ran away when things were so good between us. I let all the negative thoughts cloud my mind. I should have just talked to you but I didn't. I know I don't deserve forgiveness. I don't blame you either. I wouldn't forgive me either.

Cleo: I really don't know what to think you ran instead of talking to me, after everything we went through. I fell in love with you despite all the warnings from my friends. I let myself think I had a future with you. Hell I was even going to ask if you wanted to move in together but why bother. If I did what would you of done said yes moved in and then decide it's not what you want so you just fuck off and run leaving me.

Alan: I know I have no right to ask this but can I come in so we can talk

Cleo stood near the door for a moment thinking about what Alan asked, she moved to one side letting him inside the room.

Alan: Thank you. I thought about turning round so many times that day, I convinced myself that I was doing the right thing by letting you go. You deserve so much better than me I didn't want you to have a life with me where people would always stop and point after what I did to you.

Cleo: don't you think that's my choice to make? It's not for you to choose who I should be with. I picked you because I fell in love with you. I didn't wake up one morning and decide to fall in love with you. It just happened the more I came to visit the more I fell for you. Do you really think after what you did there is any chance for us now?

Alan: I had some time to think while I was gone, I talked to my physiatrist and she was the one that told me to let myself be happy and I'm so happy being with you. I let all my past mistakes take over and I've ended up ruining everything we have together.

Cleo: I don't know that I can do this with you what you did broke my heart, I've never felt pain like that before. I need some time and space to think I really don't know if I can trust you again.

Alan: I understand but I want you to know that I will never stop loving and caring about you Cleo. If I have to wait a lifetime for you to give us another chance then so be it we are worth fighting for. I will be back home in duskwood come by, call whenever you feel ready.

Alan pecked Cleo on the cheek and left her room, Cleo sat on the edge of the bed trying to take in everything that just happened. She needed to talk to someone. She pulled out her phone and thought about texting MC but she didn't want to spoil her time here. She scrolled down a bit and sent a text to Jessy asking if she could come to her room.

Cleo's POV

I can't believe he really came back here after everything he's put me through, he thinks he can just walk back into my life after leaving. I can't forgive him for this. He's broken my heart more than any other man has ever done. I sent a text to Jessy asking her to come to my room. I've been confiding in her while I've been here. I didn't want to burden MC with all this.

I hear a knock at the door and let Jessy sit and talk for what seems like hours. She knows how much I do care for Alan but at the same time she knows how much he's hurt me. She told me that if I do give him another chance then things need to change. I can't help but agree with her that things will need to change.

After a few more hours of talking Jessy leaves me to think things over, I am still not sure what I am going to do. A part of me wants to take him back but the other part is telling me to just move on. I think I need to put some distance between me and him for a while. I don't want to be tempted to fall back into his arms.

I think I will see if I can stay on the island for a few more days, I think it will do me good to have some space and time to myself. Jessy has been amazing at helping me with all this. I felt I needed to apologise to her for how I treated her. She knows she did wrong, she doesn't need me going on at her about it all the time.

I think it's about time I get out of this room. I've been cooped up in here for too long now, I want to go feel the sun on my skin, listen to the ocean and the birds singing. I want to say goodbye to MC and Jake before they leave. I'll explain everything to them once they get back from their honeymoon.

Alan's POV

I've just arrived back home it's still early so I decided to go for a walk and take in the fresh crisp air. On my way back I passed the coffee shop Cleo and MC hired new staff to take care of the business. Deciding to go inside and order a coffee before I make my way back home. The smell of fresh cakes being baked takes over my sense of smell. It's so inviting I can't help but smile. I order my coffee to go and make my way back home.

The town is starting to get busy with everyone making their way to work, some putting signs outside their shops advertising the day's special offers. Watching everyone make their way to where they need to be, watching couples kiss each other goodbye makes me think of Cleo. My thoughts bring her to the front of my mind. I remember the day we spent together just sitting outside my house talking while we decide what plants I need to pick up. I've always loved gardening. Cleo had so many amazing ideas I couldn't help but love them all.

I want all her ideas to become a reality so I decide first to freshen up as it's been a long drive. As I do sleep starts to take over my body I lay down on the bed and close my eyes. Sleep takes over my body and I am soon fast asleep.

Hours later I woke up when I looked at the clock. It was 4pm, wow where did the day go I must have been tired. I pull myself off the bed and go downstairs to make a coffee. I take a look in the fridge and there is barely anything to eat. I really should do some shopping. I need to get quite a bit. The store will still be open so I can go pick some stuff up.

After having my coffee I grab my keys and head out to the store, it was the perfect time to go as it was quite. I could peacefully walk around and not feel like I'm getting road rage stuck behind gossiping women. Now that I've got everything I need I got to the check out and pay for my stuff. My thoughts drift back to Cleo remembering that day we walked round the supermarket laughing and joking. I miss her so much why did I have to be a complete idiot and mess everything up.

It seemed to be something that followed me in life. ever I got anything worth hanging on to I would always find a way to mess it all up. I keep trying to think of ways to win her back to have her at my side. I know she told me she needs her time and space to think things through. I guess I will just have to let it be until she wants to talk. I don't want to pressure her into making the wrong choice.

Jessy's POV

I've just been to see Cleo. She told me what she plans to do so she can think things over. I really wasn't expecting her to confide in me but I know with MC just getting married she doesn't want to worry her. I never thought I would be the one giving relationship advice. All I do is ruin all the good things in my life. It was hard watching Richy and Astrid at the wedding.

Every part of me just wanted to go and kiss him but that would be a massive mistake. He's clearly moved on. I guess I should be doing the same. I can't keep pining over him for all my life Dan was looking very smart at the wedding. I didn't know he could clean up that well.

MC and Jake look so happy together. MC looked beautiful in her wedding dress, everything about that day was beautiful. I'm so happy for them. I hope I can be as happy as them one day. Thinking back to Cleo I really hope whatever choice she makes she does it for her.

[writermuses]

Duke thought that the day she left was the most pain he'd ever felt. As an athlete in high school he'd had broken bones and they still hadn't hurt like his broken heart. The acute loss of losing someone that wasn't actually gone had changed who he was and it was the infinite patience and certainty that a once in a lifetime love would mean that Finley would come back and that they would spend the rest of their lives together, as promised, that glued the broken pieces back together. He'd gone through every phase of grief more than once and remained dedicated to his promise to her despite a few moments of grieving mistakes. This pain was different. Duke's heart would not stir, a dead weight that spread like a cancer. His lungs burned and he realized he'd stopped breathing when Finley pulled away. A cough came out like a croak and his body leaned toward her, but she slipped from his fingers once more. "Finley..."

He waited for her to look at him, to see the tears falling down his cheeks, the crippling hurt that she hadn't seen the first time she left. Duke was desperate to touch her again, to beg her to say he could try to follow her but that it would be fruitless. Duke could live with her permission to try, but it was the refusal to allow it, the denial that even a corner of her heart was his, the way she no longer leaned into his hand or arched into him for a kiss— a minefield of change in her that killed him blow by blow. The sharp pain of his knees hitting the floor went unregistered, emotional pain far surpassing the physical. Kneeling in front of her, he gasped for air as he continued to cry. "I am in love you. I will always love you, Sunshine. When I think about all of the ways I ruined this, my only regret is that I didn't follow you." Duke wailed, the way she'd so vehemently told him no to following her now. How long had he believed that when it came to love late was better than never?

For a moment, Duke wished he was the kind of man that could make a demand and tell her no, he wouldn't sign the papers until she gave him one more chance. Then he hoped he was manipulative, telling her that he just wanted one more night to worship her body and then she could ask again. It wasn't as if Duke thought he was some sex god that could fuck her into wanting him back. The reality that he was nothing but a normal guy of average size, education, skill, and salary had never felt more like a poison. His chest rose and fell in a jagged, rapid cadence, "Take the journals. Leave the papers. I'm sorry I was never enough."

"I know what you're asking, Duke, and I'm asking you to let me go." The gentleness behind his touch hits her all at once, and it takes effort not to lean into his palm. Still, she doesn't fight the press of his forehead against hers. He always had a way of grounding her, making her feel like there was nowhere better to be than in the moment with him. If she closes her eyes, Finley can almost get lost in that feeling again, but after all these years, she knows that no level of avoidance is going to get her through this.

She is already shaking her head as he continues, taking a step back despite the brush of his thumb against her lips. "And I love him," she says, squeezing her eyes tight before meeting his eyes once again. "This was always the problem. We--you didn't think anything through. We rushed right out of high school, even though everyone else knew it was a bad idea. We--we got married and bought a house and that wasn't a good idea either, but we did it, and look where we ended up." Though she doesn't make a move to ease herself from his arms. "I thought we'd both learned from it at least. We're not those kids. So, even if I wanted to look back, what am I supposed to tell him? I can't just... leave." Even if that's what she did to him all those years ago. "He deserves... more than that. And I think you do too."

[damiano-mylove]

How the members of Måneskin would be while taking your virginity

Obvi NSFW, lil bit of swearing, but that's really it, I think *Masterlist*

Vic

Despite your potential nerves when telling Vic you were a virgin, Vic completely and totally accepted it

She wouldn't push sex stuff on you, but she would be beyond honoured that you wanted her to be your first time

That said, before the main course, Vic was asking if you were sure every 5 minutes, but you were sure, absolutely committed to her and you wanted to share with her, not only your heart, but your body too

Unless it happened in the heat of the moment, Vic would go out of her way to make it an event for you, because she never wanted you to regret it because she fumbled the bag

There would be scented candles all over, and she would wash her bedsheets during the day so that they were extra soft and clean for you - Vic would have bass heavy jazz in the background just to set the mood

It would be very slow, starting with kissing that was prompted by you, then a bit of over the clothes stuff that you'd done a couple times before

Things got naturally heavier until things reached their full potential

It was sweet, and gentle, and everything you'd expected (which you'd almost hadn't expected)

After the fact, your relationship stayed mostly in the same place, but you two entered the honeymoon stage where you'd be fucking every chance you got - Vic assured you that that was natural and you shouldn't feel embarrassed about it

You felt more accepted than ever before, just because Vic took you as you were and made you feel like perfection personified

Thomas

There was no big talk when you revealed to him that you a virgin, it sort of came out after both of you were already laying on the bed, slick with sweat and the smell of sex heavy in the room

It never came up in conversation, and you were just going with the flow of the night - and at risk of the revelation ruining the moment, you kept it to yourself

Sex with Thomas was sloppy, it was full of bitten back moans, full of praises, full of gripping at each other and scratching each other

It was genuine and worth the wait

When you told Thomas, his reaction was laughter, then he said, 'Could've fooled me, my love of loves.'

You both chuckled at the comment before Thomas asked if you were serious, to which he told you that he was happy that you let him be the one to take your card

The honeymoon period after that was an absolute exploration of each other; bodies, turn-ons, turn-offs. It was an experimentation period, that neither of you judged the other for - boundaries were set and things were found out

Thomas was a sweet lover, always allowing himself to be vulnerable with you and being more patient than you ever could've asked for

Ethan

Telling Ethan that you were a virgin was right before sex, which had him pause everything for just a second

'We don't have to do anything you don't want to.'

Those were the first words out of his mouth, to which you told him you wanted him to fuck you into next week - Ethan asked if you were sure, then all bets were off

The moment returned in the snap of your fingers, with Ethan pining you back against the bed, into feather filled pillows

Ethan held back a bit, sure. He didn't want to hurt you, to potentially ruin your first time

The scene was entirely in your hands, with a bit of guidance from Ethan, who was slightly more experienced than you - but Ethan had you in the driver's seat, ready to discern what you wanted to have happen

It was sweet, it was full of love and explosive passion, with acceptance, with just a slight amount of confusion and testing

Afterwards, Ethan asked for your full review, which you gladly gave him, and then you fell asleep, wrapped in his arms, with your legs tangled together

The honeymoon period was so extreme that the other band members actually started to wonder where and why the fuck Ethan was staying home so much - and you were the answer, because you were Ethan's favourite answer

Damiano

In lieu to Damiano asking you if you were sure you wanted him to be your first, he told you 'You don't want me, Y/n. You deserve to give that to someone way better than me.'

You were disappointed to be shot down in a way that was so fueled by Damiano's own self-consciousness

It took a few days for both of you to bounce back to normal after that, but once you did, it was like nothing ever happened, which was really what you were hoping for

Gradually, you and Damiano began to work your way up to doing away with the stupid social construct of virginity - always just turning the dial up notch by notch, slowly but surely

On the night where the jackpot was hit, Damiano tried to make it as nice as he could

He'd take you out to a very nice date first, but by the time you returned back to his place, you two were all over each other, pushing each other against walls and walking with your hands all over each other

The anticipation of the main moment was what made it only that much more special, and it was exactly as you imagined it

Your honeymoon period was shorter than most, but only because Damiano loved to tease you, to make you wait, instead of sneaking off with you - that is, until you started to learn how to tease him back

Once that ground was established, you two had the best sex life int he entire world, without competition

tell me if it sucks

[ryanparrish]

He could kill her.

He could take her outside, let the darkness shroud them like a cloak, place his hands around her neck, and bid her a well deserved, Shakespearean goodbye. Then stuff her body into a dumpster and move on with his life.

He could.

But, he wouldn't.

Even if that's what she deserved after taking what little chance of happiness he had left and stomping it into the ground. The same way she did his heart years ago.

He wasn't daft enough to ever underestimate her scale towards jealousy. Or towards staking her claim on what they both once stood on an altar and vowed to be theirs, forever. But, they were naive back then. Broken. Two lost souls coalescing under a moonlight of sin to stave off equal measures of loneliness and ruin.

That's all it was.

What Ryan felt for Ellie was not love. At least not wholesome love. It was wrought with desire, temptation, and desperation. It's not the same kind of love Ryan experienced with Tess.

He knew that now after having come face to face with that warm, vibrant, ever eternal part of his past.

"No, shit Ell----" Ryan had to bite his own swirl of vindictive censure just to keep from unleashing on her in public. Again.

Being back home in Covington, he was often reminded he was the Pastor's son. There was a certain level of expectation he had to carry. Different from any, he's ever experienced in front of her.

Which is kind of ironic considering Ellie brought out the worst in him. The parts of him that would make even the Devil quake with fear. Where Tess was divine heaven, Ellie was sublime hell.

"You don't get to do that." Although, his icy expression had softened a little, he still wasn't anywhere near ready to drop his guard with her yet. Which meant, they weren't in a place where he could confide in her about who Tess was, what she stood for, and what she still meant.

Shaking his head, Ryan took a step back with his arms crossed over his chest. The pounding of his heart pulsed violently in his ears. Despite the chilly, February air - he'd never felt hotter to the touch. "You don't get to ask me who she is as if it's any skin off your back when you spread your legs for the first person who charmed you soon after I left."

They'd never talked about it. In fact, Ryan preferred to skim over it. Treat her like the enemies he's stood against on the opposing battlefields. Anything to avoid confronting the fact that she hurt him. He gave her all he had left and she threw him away. He's yet to recover from that.

"I just want to forget you." Harsh as it sounds, it pales in comparison to the fire burning red hot in his chest. There's an ache where she used to occupy, and he wished now more than ever, that he could claw it out. "But, you won't let me. Do you get that?" Will admitting her being there is a threat to him, enough to get her to go away? He rolls the dice and gives it a shot. "I loved you. I still do." Only, the love was different now. Rougher. "But, it's not the same as it was. I can't keep doing this. Holding onto you or the.... hatred I have for you. I thought going to war would be hard but this is worse."

starter for: @ryanparrish location: leaving the valentine's date auction

Eliana Parrish. The name had rolled off her tongue easily, as if it were common for her to use it upon introduction to strangers. As if it was the norm for her. But in all honesty, she could not remember the last time she had referred to herself by that name. She knew why she did it, the jealousy had burned its way through her without an extinguisher in sight. Again, it had been quite some time since she felt such a feeling, which caused it to burn brighter than it had anytime before and with that feeling scorching through her, the words had all but tumbled out of her. 'Eliana Parrish,' she had said with the most sickeningly sweet smile on her lips, 'His wife.' But that smile, that overly practiced and rehearsed smile, fought to keep its spot on her face as she watched some unspoken realization pass across the other woman's face, that devastatingly beautiful blonde that had challenged Eliana all night long. Those words, her name, had hurt that woman, for some reason or another and it almost made Ellie feel bad. Almost. But in that moment, the need to stake her claim, little that she may feel she still had, seemed to win out. After those words, she watched as the blonde left and upon looking at Ryan she knew that she had just dug her grave a little further. Made things that much harder to med between them. The smile, that disgustingly saccharine smile, disappeared within a second and she found herself facing everything she had come to Covington for. Finally. 'Add this to the list of things I now have to fix,' she thought to herself, all but cringing inwardly. Eliana led Ryan out of the building, the two of them silent until the exited the building and the cool air hit her bare shoulders. She stared forward, doing her best to ignore the cold, "I shouldn't have done that." She said it without hesitation. She turned to look at him, her eyes searching his face, "Who is she?"

[multiland]

Mr. perfect.

pairing: idol!Joshua x reader

genre: angst

word count: 1.5K

summary: what do you do when the one who was always there to comfort you, is the one who now has broken you?

warnings: mentions of cheating, denial and heartbreak.

A/N: this sucks. I’m sorry.

When you first learned about love, you always tried to keep in mind that everything about it was ephemeral, that no matter how many happy endings you had heard about, there was no way someone could ever meet such expectations. To you, fairytales were nothing but that, a fictional scenario people created to give themselves hope, to try to find something good even when the so-called love they felt, hurt them more than any physical harm.

But then you met Joshua, and suddenly you found yourself believing in everything you had convinced yourself was nothing but a lie.

You met him on a Friday night at some fancy party your best friend had thrown. Being from a wealthy family, it was no surprise to you that you found some famous people there. You were nothing like them, but being attached to the hip to her since you were kids surely took you to some places you would’ve never thought you’d ever see.

Dressed in a skin-tight navy dress, you were minding your own business, playing with the martini in your hands as your eyes traveled across the enormous house. The music wasn’t the same kind people your age would put in the background, instead, there were some violinists and pianists playing live. You felt out of place, the fact that your friend had left your side to keep greeting people not helping at all.

And that’s when you saw him, walking through the door with some other guys in a beige tuxedo, black strands of hair hanging over his eyes and small silver piercings decorating his ears.

Your eyes were immediately drawn to him, as he stood there across the room with his hands in his pockets, clearly enjoying the music and focused on the musicians. That’s when somewhere along the lines his eyes had landed on you, the previously blank expression on his face turning into the smallest but sweetest smile for you, and you swore you had never seen a man that beautiful in your entire life.

You knew it was over for you as soon as those round and beautiful dark orbs made your heart go crazy, wanting to look away but not being able to. He had an instant power over you, and you didn’t even want it to be any different.

Somehow you exchanged numbers that night, and although you thought you would never see him again, he proved you otherwise when he started texting you the following days.

You started spending time together every now and then, going to some cafes or meeting somewhere more private. Knowing the reality of his situation wasn’t something easy, but you were soon so infatuated with him that you didn’t even think of saying no when he asked you out.

Being with an idol wasn’t what you had expected at all, but Joshua always made everything feel so safe, warm, and comfortable that everything seemed to be just so easy.

He was so attentive, caring, and loving that you, not even once, felt neglected. He called you every single night before going to sleep or messaged you in the mornings or during breaks.

If you ever felt bad, he always knew the right words to say, and even though you felt insecure about him being around beautiful women all the time, he was quick to ease your fears and make you believe there was no way in the world he would ever want someone who wasn’t you.

You felt wanted, beautiful, and loved. He was a prince, he was everything someone could have ever wanted. So gentle, sweet, always there for you no matter what.

He was the only one who was able to set your body aflame with a single touch, always feeling like you were flying whenever his arms wrapped around you and the smell of his cologne, so familiar, filled your nose and made you feel like everything would be okay.

The way he held your hand and kissed your knuckles when he drove, the way he always tucked strands of hair behind your ear, or the way he kissed you in the middle of saying something just because he couldn’t help but being so whipped for you, making you lose your mind with such a simple action.

His sweet, raspy voice in the mornings after he had spent the night; the way his pupils dilated whenever you wore one of his shirts with nothing underneath, the way he made love to you as soon as he went back home, loving you hard enough for you to feel the trace of his fingers and the taste of his mouth whenever he had to leave again. Fingers through his hair as his mouth swallowed your moans, fingertips digging on your burning skin, teeth sinking on the flesh as he took you to paradise.

The way you found relief in his lips, kissing like there was no tomorrow and feeling like you couldn't get enough of each other. His tongue making you delirious, electrifying every inch of your skin.

Everything that came out of his mouth was dripping with honey, because he never wanted to see you upset, because he was your serotonin, because he simply was the best thing that had ever happened to you, and you were the same for him.

Or at least, that’s what you thought.

That’s why you couldn’t process the words that were falling from his mouth that night, after a month of not seeing each other for his comeback and promotions, he had come to your house, but as soon as you met his gaze, you knew something was wrong.

But you never thought it’d be something so horrible.

He had appeared at your place to tell you he had kissed a female back dancer a week before.

“No.” You laughed humorlessly as you shook your head. “It’s impossible. That did not happen.”

His eyes were filled with hurt and remorse, the more he noticed your denial, the worse he felt.

“y/n… I- I’m so sorry… Fuck I’m sorry. I swear I love you. I’m such an asshole.”

“Joshua, please stop. This is not a funny joke.”

“How can you think I would joke with something like this?” He asked in frustration, running his fingers through his hair.

And you were well aware of it not being a joke in the slightest. The way you could feel cold sweat running down your spine and your stomach churn kept trying to pull your feet back to the ground. But you would try to trick the fate and desperately conjure the truth you wanted to take place.

“Because there’s no way you’d do something like that. You love me, right? You’ve done nothing but show me how much you do.”

Joshua swallowed, tears burning his eyes and threatening to fall.

“I do love you. More than anything.” He assured. “That’s why I’m here, that’s why I can’t stand the idea of what I did behind your back. I kissed someone else while you stayed home and gave me all of your trust.” He repeated. “I regret it every second because I know how much I just fucked up… But I can’t cope with the idea of you trying to dismiss it. I don’t deserve it.”

"Joshua"

He shook his head, stepping closer and grabbing your hands in his.

"Please, please don't give me a chance to stay by your side because I will not hesitate to take it and I don't deserve to be with someone like you." His voice was so sweet, so subtle despite of him saying something so devastating. His hand moved to tuck a strand of hair behind you ear like he always did, retreating as soon as the guilt attacked him again. "You're so beautiful, so smart, sweet and bright and I'm so, so in love with you. It kills me to know I just ruined everything with the woman I love the most in such a dumb way."

You noticed the way his eyes were getting watery, another thing that made you realize how real it was. You wanted to hate him and tell him how much of a dick he was, but nothing came out of your mouth. You just couldn't, although you knew you should have, you could not bring yourself to hate him.

“You- No, listen Joshua…” You trailed off, heart finally breaking in a million pieces as you tried your best to convince yourself that everything was nothing but a twisted dream. “I know you would never hurt me like that. You would never cheat on me. Why would you? That’s ridiculous! You know that I'd do anything for you, right? You know that I love you more than anything. We’ve always had this chemistry, this peaceful and beautiful relationship. You’ve never given me any reasons to be jealous or to feel insecure, someone like that wouldn’t go against his own preach.” You tried to reason, a bitter chuckle slipping from your lips as you wiped your tears “See, I know you’re just such a gentleman that you’d rather put the blame on your shoulders than say she was the one who took advantage of you and kissed you. You’re a gorgeous guy, it must be hard for people not to throw themselv-"

“Why are you trying so desperately to excuse my actions?" He interrupted you in distress. "Babe, I- I don’t deserve it. I was the one who kissed her. While we danced the atmosphere got tense, the adrenaline did not help, and I just had the impulse.” Joshua said lowly, the knot in his throat becoming thicker and making it hard for him to breathe. “I’m so sorry... Why can't you just blame me for what I did? Just tell me how much of a piece of shit I am, slap me, tell me you don't want to see me again. Call me a dickhead, the worst thing that happened to you, I'll take it all, because I fucked up.”

You forced yourself to step back, the air in your lungs slowly fading away as the void in your chest grew bigger.

“No... I- I can't... Because you would never do something so vile.” You smiled, not noticing the way your tears were already streaming down your cheeks. "You wouldn't throw all the beautiful things between us out of the window just to get your damn dick wet. Not when you told me so many times how you'd never want anyone else but me and I believed you because you looked me in the eyes."

Joshua pressed his eyes shut and took a deep, shaky breath as he stepped closer, but you stepped back.

"I do not want anyone else but you, but I stopped thinking and just let my primal self take control instead of considering what I got to lose."

"No!" You shouted. "You wouldn't! You're perfect!"

Joshua lowered his gaze to the floor, hands ballin into fists.

“I’m not perfect… I never was, I never will. No one is.” He whispered. "That's why I need to go before I keep hurting you. If you ask me to stay I will, and I can not let you accept me back."

And then you knew. The idea you had engraved in your head about love being a real fairytale was long gone, cause all it did was break, burn and end.

Your sweet boyfriend, the same who used to whisper how much he loved you against your lips, the same who washed your hair for you, the same who looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing in the world, was the same one who had stabbed you in the back.

Your lip quivered, and Joshua wanted desperately to wipe your tears away and hold you in his arms, but how could he? When he was the one who had hurt you in the first place, how could he ever fix up a heart he let down? He did not deserve to touch you ever again.

With a shaky breath, you forced the words out of your throat.

“That’s where the problem is, Joshua.” You said, voice cracking as his brows pulled together in confusion. “That’s why facing the truth will destroy every part of my being, that's why I will never be able to trust anyone again, that's why I don't want you to walk out the door. If you do, everything will be real, and the thing that would hurt the most is to realize all this time I stopped believing in my instincts, because I thought you were different, because I've always known perfection does not exist…" You explained, a small sob falling from your mouth and cutting you out before you continued. "But to me, you were perfect.”

[bubblesuga]

Mahina || Part 2

Summary: You're a mystery to Jungkook. His newfound interest in you continues to grow, and he's determined to learn everything about you. genre: smut, fluff, angst word count: 5,216 tags: idol!au, fantasy!au

PART 1

This was probably a mistake.

Jungkook hasn't stopped thinking about you, dreaming about you. Your scent leaves him absolutely intoxicated and he's not willing to go without you for much longer.

Herein lies the problem: Jungkook hasn't had a moment alone with you since the day in the gym. It's only been a week, and shortly after you left him he found himself longing for more. It's the closest he's ever been to high, he's sure of it. Because of that, every time he sees you he has to hold himself back from dragging you away and taking you in the nearest empty room.

Your interactions together have been predominantly professional. You finished the rest of the solo shots and have been around to film Bangtan Bombs, taking pictures whenever you feel it would be appropriate. You've maintained your composure in front of him, not for lack of hurting Jungkook's feelings. He feels dumb for feeling like you're uninterested now, but every time you use words that don't give any indication of your attraction to him, he feels as though you're over it. Maybe you are, it wouldn't be the first time a woman left him after the first night.

Jungkook can feel that he's spacing out, his eyes are wide but he can't draw them away from the floor. His head is spinning in circles with thoughts of you. Both memories of the other day and the potential his fears have to coming to fruition.

He hears his name being called, so he tries his best to shake himself out of the trance he's in. Glancing up, he sees you.

Nearly jumping out of his skin, he scoots back and stands from his chair, doing a mid bow, "H- hey! How's it going?"

"Calm down Mr. Jeon, there's no need for the formalities." you giggle, grasping an apple from the bowl of fruit on the table. The commons area is empty, the only sound being the water cooler bubbling occasionally as it refills.

Jungkook furrows his eyebrows, "You just called me Mr. Jeon but don't want formalities?"

"Because you're my boss," you shrug, "I'm supposed to call you Mr. Jeon."

"Well, stop. It makes me feel old." Jungkook has to hide his grin when he notices the concern on your face. So you do still care.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset." your lips are turned down in a frown, your shoulders slumping slightly. Today, you're wearing a white T-shirt, your red bra showing slightly through the thin material. It's not something that's extremely noticeable, only if Jungkook stared. Which he did, he couldn't help himself now that he's seen you without clothes.

Sympathy crosses Jungkook's face, "Oh no, _____. You didn't upset me, I was just teasing you."

Your frown twitches, "That's mean."

"You're mean." Jungkook retaliates.

"How am I the mean one here?" you fight, your jaw dropping and arms flying up in question.

"Because you haven't spoke to me normally since we fu-" Jungkook doesn't have the chance to finish his sentence, because your hands fly to his mouth. This is the first time you've touched him in a week, and he is reeling instantly.

"You can't just say that," you whisper, your eyes watching the door, "someone could hear you. Then what? I get fired?"

Jungkook didn't think about that.

"Listen. I like you, Jungkook, but we can't go around announcing what we did. My job is on the line if others find out, but you'll get a slap on the wrist," you finally move your hand, and Jungkook's skin burns where you once rested, "just think about that before staring at me like you want to devour me in a meeting full of higher ups."

"I did that?" he feels his face burn red.

"You practically undressed me with your eyes. That's why I haven't been interacting with you much." your words are scolding but your tone is light. Jungkook feels like he's in trouble but doesn't expect a punishment, much like when his mom would find out he sneaked candy into school when he was younger. Nothing is actually going to happen to him. He kind of wants something to happen to him though.

"You liked it though, didn't you?"

Bold, he thinks to himself, good job, Jungkook.

Your stance falters for a moment, a glint shining in your eye, "Liked what?"

"The fact that I can't stop thinking about you," Jungkook starts, reaching his hand forward and stroking your cheekbone with his thumb, "the fact that your wet cunt is the greatest thing I've ever felt, and I can't wait to be inside you again."

He sees your eyes widen, glancing over to the door again. Jungkook suddenly feels a sense of jealousy, the fact that your mind is somewhere other than with him causes him to whine audibly. He keeps his ears trained for footsteps, dragging your attention back to him. "Don't look at the door, look at me."

Your eyes move from the door, straight to him. His thumb moves to your lips, "Such a pretty girl. I want to kiss you so bad."

His earlier fear has disappeared, replaced with a sudden need. He doesn't want you, no. He needs you. He needs to feel you against him, to hear you moan, to whisper your name in your ear as he cums. He leans down and presses a gentle kiss to your lips. Because despite desperately wanting to bend you over the table and fuck you into oblivion, your job is more important. He doesn't want to get in the way of your career.

"You think I'm pretty?" you whisper against his lips.

"Ethereal." he responds.

He begins to kiss you again, this time with much more need than before. How could you ask such a silly question? Of course he thinks you're gorgeous. So gorgeous, in fact, that he questions whether you have some sort of otherworldly disposition, like an angel sent from above. He's never come across someone as inherently perfect as you.

Just when your tongue slips into his mouth, Jungkook hears heavy footsteps. He pulls away abruptly, slipping his hand from your face to behind his neck, scratching nervously.

You back away and pick up your camera, pointing it at Jungkook. He looks at you, and he smiles. A simple one, hiding the thoughts behind his eyes. He makes sure his teeth show, because he knows everybody loves his teeth.

"Perfect, Jungkook," you say as Seokjin enters the room, "now if you come up with any other domestic or casual themes just let me know."

"Domestic or casual?" Seokjin laughs, "Jungkookie, what are you telling this poor woman?"

"What?" Jungkook chuckles nervously, "I can be domestic."

"Perceived, maybe. But actually be domestic? Impossible." Seokjin fills up a glass of water and chugs. Jungkook glances toward you and you raise an eyebrow. He decides he'll explain later.

"Hey, _____. You should take a picture of my reflection in a spoon." Seokjin holds up a large spoon, staring at the concave reflection.

"Why would I do that?"

"For the humor! Come on, you need to lighten up." Seokjin turns the spoon around and Jungkook glances at you, before shaking his head with a laugh and walking out of the room.

~*~*~

"So you have a thing for the photographer?" Yoongi suddenly asks in the dorms that night, causing Jungkook to swallow.

"What makes you say that?" Jungkook's immediate defensiveness doesn't seem to make him sound innocent. Yoongi tosses his head back and lets out a breathy laugh, "Because you licked your lips in her direction like 30 times today."

"I didn't have any chapstick."

Yoongi shakes his head, "I get it, she's hot, but is she 'ruin-your's-and-her's-career-for-some-pussy' hot?"

"That's awfully derogatory, Hyung." Jungkook bites back his jealousy.

"For real, though. If you're gonna risk it, you might as well stop being such a wimp about it." Yoongi usually isn't one to offer his advice unwarranted. When Jungkook was younger, he saw Yoongi as this mysterious-sensei like figure that only spoke when asked questions he found interesting. Similarly, whenever Jungkook was struggling morally, Yoongi was his go-to. He certainly had to trek to his studio and beg to be let in for any advice.

"Nah, I'm not into her," Jungkook lies through his teeth, "she's pretty and all but she's all work and no play."

"Really? She seemed pretty playful in my studio the other day." Yoongi mentions casually, taking a sip of some nasty lager he ordered from Germany.

Jungkook grips the edge of the couch, taking a subtle breath when he notices a glint in Yoongi's eyes. "Really?" he tries his hardest to hide his annoyance, "what happened?"

"She was bent over the table, playing with all the knobs and buttons on my mixer," Yoongi smirks, "asking me all sorts of questions. 'What's this one do?' and 'What about this one?'" he raises his tone mockingly, "such a curious girl. Sometimes I wonder if she's seen technology at all."

"Yeah, it's like the only thing she knows is her camera." Jungkook fakes a laugh.

"Makes me wonder if I should ask her to take playgirl pictures of me for my own keepsake. I wouldn't mind her seeing me naked."

"Alright! I'm going to bed. Nice talk, Yoongi."

Jungkook stands abruptly, moving to step over Yoongi's legs, but he's stopped by Yoongi's hand gripping his calf. "I knew you had a thing for her!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Jungkook shakes his leg from Yoongi's grip, crossing his arms over his shirtless torso. Yoongi stands up, "I saw you two making out in the commons room today."

Jungkook feels his entire body go numb, "We weren't making out," he scoffs, "she had something in her teeth."

"So you were trying to get it out with your tongue?"

"Yoongi!" Jungkook is never the one to scold, but he can't stop himself.

"Relax buddy, your secret is safe with me. I even stalled Seokjin from interrupting you two." Yoongi seems so casual, like he's not currently holding life-altering information in his hands.

"So you don't want her to shoot you naked?" Jungkook's embarrassed that this is his first thought.

"Nah I wouldn't do that to you." Yoongi grins, his eyes disappearing behind his happiness.

Jungkook pouts, "No one can know."

"I know, I heard the conversation."

"You listened in on us?!" He raises his voice, quickly quieting down once he realizes how late it is.

Yoongi laughs, "Yeah."

~*~*~

Ten hours later, Jungkook is back at the Hybe building. He managed to get some sleep after the conversation with Yoongi. If anything, he feels slightly better that someone knows and therefore he has someone to talk about it with. Jungkook has wanted nothing more than to talk about it, and since it's so difficult to catch you, Yoongi was his best bet. He spends a while talking to him about how weirdly connected he feels to you. Like it goes beyond lust, but he's not exactly sure what that beyond is.

Yoongi encourages Jungkook to speak to you about it, but Jungkook is still unsure. He's only known you a week. A glorious week, but a week nonetheless. Jungkook fears an admission of how he's feeling will scare you away and push you into nothing more than just a photographer. As he spoke to Yoongi, he realized that in his copious amount of spacing out and Maladaptive Daydreaming, he's pictured himself taking you out on a date. No sex, no lust, just good food and wine.

This is how he knows there's a connection.

So, as he rides the elevator up to the 13th floor, he nervously adjusts his button up. Deciding to skip his work out this morning, he's dressed himself in torn skinny jeans and folded his sleeves up to look as suave as he can. He realizes that his muscles clearly show beneath the silk fabric of his shirt, and he smiles. He hopes you like it.

Wandering down the hall after a grueling 3 minute elevator ride, he arrives at the office you claimed. He's never been in here, nor does he know what you do in here, but he's excited to see how you've made it your own.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

No answer.

Knock knock knock.

Nothing.

He presses his ear to the door and can hear you. You're whispering to someone, your voice sounding urgent and annoyed.

"I know, Mother. I am trying but there's only so much I can do in this form."

"Well you need to try harder. Earth is wearing on you." Another voice says, and it sounds as if they're in the room. Jungkook doesn't recognize the voice as any of the staff.

What are they talking about?

Knockknockknock!

He tries once more for good measure and hears you gasp, then a loud thud. You scramble to the door, and Jungkook backs away just in time for you to open it.

Your hair is wild, and for a moment Jungkook swears he sees your skin a slight blue tone. Blowing a stray strand of hair out of your face, you smile, "What's up, Jungkook?"

He raises an eyebrow, "What, uh- what's going on in there?"

"Oh, nothing. Zoom meetings, you know the drill." a small burst of wind comes from behind you, shaking the loose shirt around your torso. Weird, he didn't think you'd open the window with how hot it is outside. You bite your lip, "What can I do for you?"

Jungkook feels nervousness at his trembling hands. He glances down the hallway and sees a door beginning to open, "Can I come in?"

You glance behind you, then nod, opening the door wider.

Jungkook slips in quickly, closing the door behind him.

"So, what's up?" You plop down onto your chair, an editing software Jungkook is unfamiliar with displayed on your monitor.

Jungkook lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in. Softly, he speaks, "Can I make you dinner?"

A grin stretches across your face, "Like a date?"

"Yes, like a date." Jungkook mirrors your grin.

"Then obviously," you move from your chair and straddle his thighs, on the couch he placed himself on, "I would be thrilled."

"Oh yeah?" Jungkook brings you down to his mouth, his tongue massaging against yours. The heat from your body sears into his, trapping him against the couch. He thinks he may faint from your proximity. His hands roam your back, his fingers dipping beneath the hem of your shirt to play with your hot skin and listening to the sounds of content coming out of your mouth, slightly muffled by his own.

As he brings his fingers up your back, he feels the bottom of the scars he saw the last time you were in this position. Just as he's about to ask about them, he feels you grind onto his thigh. He flexes, and you gasp into his mouth.

"You like thigh riding?" Jungkook murmurs, his voice deep and rough. He can hear you whimpering as you move your hips again. He glances down and sees your jeans rutting against you. Sliding his hands to the button of your pants, he undoes it, "That can't be comfortable, baby. Take your pants off."

You gasp as he unzips your jeans, "I don't want to get your pants wet."

He bites back a moan at how incredibly dirty that sounds. You already sound fucked out, as though he's made you cum 5 times. It seems the affect you have on him aligns with the affect he has on you.

"I'll take off my pants, too. I want you to get yourself off on my thigh."

You both move quickly to pull off your bottoms. The moment you're free, you place yourself back on Jungkook's thigh and begin riding. His lips travel up and down your neck, stopping at the base of your collarbone and nibbling gently. The moan you illicit is so hot that Jungkook almost pulls you off of his thigh and directly on his dick. Almost.

He can't bare to remove you from your pleasure as your face contorts into complete and utter bliss. Smiling, he makes sure his hands roam close to your inner thighs, flexing his thigh every once in a while for an added amount of pressure against your wet cunt. He doesn't think he's ever been this hard before, watching you with eyes as wide as saucers while you come undone above him, your orgasm giving you literal chills. Goosebumps rise on your skin while you call his name out repeatedly.

"Fuck." Jungkook whispers, "Get on your knees. Now."

"Yes sir." you breathe, falling to your knees in between Jungkook's thighs.

As you reach forward, Jungkook slaps your hand away.

"One touch and I'm coming, so make it count."

Your cheeks are warm against his hands, your eyes blown out as you still tingle from your release. You reach forward, slipping his boxers off of his waist and licking your lips when you see his cock spring free. There's a sudden cuteness to your expression, as though you've never had your tongue this close to a cock before. However, the moment you place your lips around the tip, he can tell that isn't the case.

"God damn it, baby," he instantly thrusts upward, causing you to gag. He looks down with a sheepish smile, "I'm sorry."

You shake your head, "Choke me with your cock."

Jungkook is in utter euphoria. With one swift thrust, he is releasing down your throat. You sputter around him, your throat contracting repeatedly as you swallow his cum.

"Holy shit." He whispers as you pull off, a string of saliva connecting you to him.

You pull yourself to him, resting your head on his shoulder. He strokes your inner thigh, his large hand enjoying the thickness of your thigh. He loves having something to hold on to.

"I got all dressed up for you and you managed to get me half naked in less than 10 minutes." Jungkook jokes, feeling your hand stroke his chest.

You giggle, "Next time it'll be all the way naked in 5 minutes."

~*~*~

Jungkook has never prepared a meal as good as the one sitting on the table in front of him.

He spent hours creating pasta from scratch. Mixing the dough, watching it proof, cutting it by hand (because he really couldn't figure out how to attach the extension to Seokjin's way-too-expensive mixer), and boiling it to a perfect Al Dente texture. He created the sauce entirely from scratch as well, staring with a heavy cream and adding Parmesan and various seasonings until it somewhat resembled an Alfredo sauce. He's not entirely sure how he ended up here, but he watched a video about it like 3 years ago on one of those nights that he just couldn't fall asleep and it has stuck with him ever since.

Now that's steaming on the table, he anxiously awaits your arrival.

He rented a small house on the country side, the private beach just behind the fancy Air BNB being the main attraction to him. He hasn't swam in the ocean in years for fear that someone could recognize him, and he misses the feeling of the salty water against his skin. He hopes you're willing to join him for a dip later on in the evening.

After consulting Yoongi on what his plan should be, he said you seem like the type of person who enjoys simplicity. So, he made the most simple meal he could think of, while simultaneously throwing as much work into it as he could.

Just as he begins to worry about the food going cold before you arrive, the doorbell rings.

He runs to the door, before pausing at the floor length mirror by the shoe closet and checking his appearance. His movements stutter for a second, and he reaches his hands to the buttons on his shirt, undoing the top three. Smirking, he turns and opens the door.

And his jaw drops.

The dress you wear is floor length, silver sequins shining all the way up to the 'V' line, exposing just enough cleavage to be sexy. Your skin glows beneath the setting sun, a smile on your face that's bright enough to blind Jungkook.

"Flies are gonna get in your mouth if you keep it open like that, ya know." you step into the doorway, taking 2 fingers and lifting Jungkook's jaw up. He swallows the little bit of saliva he began to feel collecting on his tongue.

"You look gorgeous." he says after a moment of collecting himself, stepping to the side and allowing you to walk all the way in.

Your eyes trail Jungkook's body up and down, stilling at his skinny jeans.

"Sorry," you breathe, "I just got flashbacks of yesterday in my office."

Jungkook hides his victorious smile, "If you're a good girl and eat your dinner, I'll let you do it again."

"I'll do whatever you say, sir." your voice is low, seductive. It carries through Jungkook's ears like a soft whisper, and it excites him immediately. He swallows his excitement, though, because tonight is about getting to know you.

So, as you sit at the dining table and watch Jungkook begin to plate your food, he speaks, "Where are you from?"

His question seems to shock you and your quiet for a moment. Raising his eyebrow, he plates his own food and sits across from you.

"Here." you say simply.

"Where's 'here'?" Jungkook retorts, watching as you twirl pasta around your fork. You take a big bite, and Jungkook prays you enjoy it. When your face lights up, Jungkook releases a breath he didn't even realize he was holding in.

"This is so good Jungkook, where did you get it?" you ask, digging in and taking another bite.

"I made it." He replies proudly.

"Nuh-uh," you tease, "this tastes like it's straight from Italy. Ain't no way you didn't use your fancy BTS powers and get this flown here straight from Gordon Ramsey's kitchen."

"Fancy BTS powers?" Jungkook laughs.

"Yeah! You're, like-" you gesture wildly, "thing you got going on. The whole 'I'm a celebrity and everyone gets on their knees for me' thing that you can do."

"What are you talking about?" Jungkook asks incredulously, humor lacing his tone.

"You know what I mean." you pout, pushing more pasta into your mouth.

Jungkook takes the quick silence to take his first bite.

Okay, he did a good job.

Swallowing, he licks his lips clean of sauce. He doesn't miss the smile on your face when his tongue pokes out. "Don't think you've distracted me from the question. Where did you grow up?"

You roll your eyes, "I grew up in a regular old house. Nothing special about my childhood."

"You're lying."

"What makes you say that?"

"You can't be as incredibly talented as you are without having something interesting happen to you as you grew up." Jungkook knows his theory has flaws but he's hoping his words are enough to make you feel comfortable enough to open up to him more.

You mull over his words for a moment. Jungkook is trying his hardest to read you, because for the first time since he's met you, you seem nervous. You're tenser than usual, your legs crossed and your hand gripping the fork hard enough for your knuckles to turn white. Why on Earth would a simple question cause you this much distress? He doesn't know what to say, and he's scared to opt for changing the subject. So, he waits.

"My parents are from two entirely different back rounds," you begin, setting down your fork and loosening your posture, "like, really different. My mom has always been better off than my dad was. When she was younger, she wore a crown on her head that was completely encrusted in diamonds."

Jungkook's eyes widen, "So was she really wealthy?"

"Still is," you explain, "but she's really branched off on her materialistic possessions. She often craves for her children to be as prepared and well off as she was."

"Oh," he says, a minute response now that he's getting what he wanted. He just wants to hear more, "you said 'was' when speaking of your dad, did he pass?"

You smile sadly, "Ages ago."

"What was he like?"

A beat of time passes and Jungkook feels his heart thud. He's aching for you, for your loss. He's watching as painful memories cross over your features.

"Like I said, he grew up completely different from my mom. He was a Shepard and worked really hard to get as far as he got. He met my mom when he was 17 and immediately fell in love with her, and not long after she got pregnant with lil' old me." you grin brightly, hiding your earlier sadness and posing with your hands beneath your chin.

Despite your cutesy pose, Jungkook feels his curiosity growing, "How did he pass?"

"Jeeze, all these questions," you laugh sheepishly, and your sadness returns, "My parents separated shortly after I was born. I spent the spring and summer months with my mother and fall and winter with my father. One Spring, I got a call that my father had been in an accident. It was really long ago so I can't remember details, but he died shortly after that."

"I- I'm so sorry." Jungkook whispers, "that's horrific."

"Life goes on," you inhale through your nose, "enough about me. Tell me how you chose BigHit when all those companies were after you."

Jungkook allows the subject change to roll through, nervous that his curiosity may have offended you. He tells you about his early years, explaining that he's always had a dream of becoming a singer. His parents struggled financially when he was a kid, so he insisted on getting rich so he could help them out. Now that he's an adult, and he is rich (though he hates to label himself as such), he doesn't know what to do with his money. He paid off his parents' house and bought them both new cars, he makes sure that all of their wants are taken care of.

At first his mother tried to refuse his gifts, stating that he had earned it himself therefore he should use it on himself. At this point they were 4 years into the band, the first little while they didn't make nearly as much money as other idol groups did. As soon as he got his first decent check, he immediately spent it on his parents. He's grateful for his mother's concern, but he always told him he was going to take care of them. His parents have learned to just accept the gifts he brings them, but they still haven't blatantly asked for help.

You laugh when Jungkook says he has to become a private investigator when he wants to know how his parents are doing. If there's ever a problem, he has to figure it out for himself because his father has too much pride to ask for help from his son. Jungkook knows they are grateful for everything that he has done for them, but he doesn't want gratitude. He wants them to be happy.

The rest of the meal goes smoothly after that, laughter being shared as you both speak about your lives. It seems as though your earlier admissions about you family life has eased your discomfort with talking about yourself. You tell Jungkook a story about how your mother came down to your father's farm for a week while she was pregnant, just to see how he lived his work life, and was quickly bombarded with 12 sheep as he opened the gate.

When the plates are cleared, Jungkook glances towards the beach, "Want to go on a walk?"

You smile, "Please."

He takes your hand and leads you out of the house and onto the beach. You don't seem to mind that your dress drags in the sand, because you're quick to kick off your heels and sink your feet into the ground.

"Ah," you sigh happily, "I love the way the Earth feels."

Jungkook can't wipe the smile off of his face while he scrunches his nose, "As opposed to Pluto?"

"Yes!" you give his hand a squeeze, "Pluto is too cold to enjoy, even for me."

Jungkook swings your hands together while you approach the water, "You speak as though you've been there."

You seem shy for a moment, "In my dreams."

"So, in your dreams," Jungkook humors you, "you've been to Pluto and stayed long enough to develop a negative opinion about it?"

"If you felt the things I felt, you'd hate Pluto too." you defend, taking your hand away from his and plopping onto the wet sand. Your dress, albeit expensive and pretty, looks even better on you when wet. Jungkook doesn't hesitate to sit in the small waves with you.

"NASA hated Pluto enough to declassify it as a planet, so at least someone agrees with you."

You scrunch your nose, "You're a dork."

Jungkook fakes offense, pushing your shoulder lightly.

You fall backward, dramatically splashing into the water. Jungkook gasps, jumping forward and grabbing your arms, pulling you out of the water. "I didn't mean for you to fall in!"

You let out a giggle, before disappearing under the water again. You slip from Jungkook's hands and swim away, Jungkook losing sight of you under the foamy waves. He swims further out, far enough that the water stands to his chest, and twists around to look for you.

A dark shadow appears just beside him, a clear human shape. He chuckles, leaping forward to capture you but just before he goes under the water, he hears you whisper his name behind him.

"Jungkook~" you sing when he pulls himself out of the water.

He whips his head towards you but there's no one there. He feels a tap on his shoulder, then he sees you on the opposite side of him. Wiping the water off his face, he forces himself to process the last few seconds.

"How did you do that?!" he asks loudly.

"Do what?" you feign innocence.

"You were there," Jungkook points behind him, "then you were there," he points to the left of him, "and now you're here."

"I swim fast." you shrug, dipping beneath the water once more.

Jungkook doesn't get a chance to question you more because as you pop up from the water, your arms lock around the back of his neck, and you press your lips to his.

His mind goes blank, and all he can feel is you.

He pushes your dress up far enough to free your legs, your thighs moving to wrap around his waist. His hands hold you up, and you continue to kiss while he walks the two of you up to the beach. Collapsing onto the ground, he holds himself up above you as you disconnect your lips.

"Thank you for everything tonight, Jungkook."

Jungkook can't help his face turning red, "Anytime, baby."

With that, he connects your lips again and revels in the feeling of your body against his.

tag list: @pixiekooo @carmen-j @fangirl125reader let me know if you would like to be added, thank you for reading! <3

[sergeantsporks]

Interesting to go for drinking for Belos in the college AU but, I think it’d be more canon adjacent if Belos was abusing some kind of pain killer. The Palismen seem to work more like a drug for whatever kind of chronic pain he’s in. They seem to stabilize his mind and thoughts as opposed to him acting like a drunkard after a dosage. So what it seems to me is Belos blaming his pain and Hunter being the target of abuse because he’s “exasperating the pain he’s in with his failure” to procure Belos more. Opioid abuse in particular seems pretty in line with the gradual development of Belos seeking more and more of his painkillers. Despite saying this, Belos probably has always been a cruel person who’d have no qualms hurting Hunter but in recent years he’d have waning patience and he’d always try to make it feel like Hunter’s fault.

Obviously, parallels here aren't... perfect. If I wanted to go closer to canon, I'd probably involve the mafia or drugs somehow, buuuuuuut as is, I want it to be... plausible? Like, maybe this could actually happen! And thus, Hunter just isn't as involved with Belos' stuff because he's like, what, 19, 20 maybe, and disabled? Yeah, in a more real-life scenario, Belos isn't going to be using him the same way he does in canon, because there are just older, more capable people he can use instead. Sending Hunter on dangerous errands doesn't make sense firstly because his age and recognizability means he can't get away with much, and secondly because essential tremor flaring up or something aside, if he so much as loses his glasses he's functionally paralyzed. It makes more sense to send someone else.

The parallels to canon aren't Accident=Curse, using alcohol to cope=palisman, the alcoholism/drinking problem is the "curse." The accident doesn't really still cause him pain, at most he might have some PTSD from the incident that he would drink to cope with (haven't decided on that for sure, we'll see where canon goes). The problem of his alcoholism, like the curse, is linked to his emotion-- drinking more when he's feeling negative emotions, then, like with the curse, he lashes out while under the influence. I don't really have a condition-stabilizing equivalent of the palisman healing him, since I went ahead and just made them regular animals (maybe Hunter can try to steal him a liver transplant since he's probably killing his asdfghjkl). Belos also wouldn't want to be caught DEAD with drugs, because he KNOWS that Lilith hates his guts and would JUMP at the chance to be able to call some feds in to do the job she can't-- it's really cut and dry, one positive drug test is evidence he can't so easily threaten or bribe away the way he can other crimes (like the abuse).

Like I said, Hunter in this AU just... generally plays a less active role in Belos' actions than he does in canon. He's mostly there for Belos' image, to make Belos look good, because look at what a great guy Belos is, taking in his poor orphaned nephew 🥺. Look at how he's given this poor kid opportunities he otherwise wouldn't have had, look at how he took him in even though he has a disability that Belos has to make accommodations for, has to take him to those extra doctor appointments for and isn't he just such a saint for dealing with that? (god, I think I threw up a little writing that). Hunter gets taken to parties and events (which he hates) basically to support this "your friendly guy with a perfect little family of his own :)" charade that Belos is putting up, and his only real jobs for Belos are going to those things and doing well in school and staying out of trouble so that Belos can show off his prize project proudly at those events (which is why it was a big deal for him to get drunk at that frat party, because being a ball of nerves is acceptable, being a social disgrace is NOT). Anyway, accordingly, Hunter's role in taking him down in this AU has more to do with ruining Belos' image-- Eda and Luz try to convince him to make a ruckus and go to court about the domestic abuse, mostly because they want him to get the hell out of dodge, but also because the accusation alone will tear down this image Belos has built up as this saintly caretaker, even if Hunter doesn't win the case (which he probably wouldn't). And if Hunter DID win the case? That sets a precedent that Belos CAN be won against and gives them more options to take him down as more people might be encouraged to speak up against him.

[ah-ga-seven]

Till’ The End of Summer - Chapter 13

>> series masterlist <<

Pairing: Choi Yeonjun x Reader

In a Nutshell: College!AU, Rich Kids, Friends to Lovers, Fuckboy athlete Yeonjun, Overprotective Best friend Soobin, contains all of TXT and other Idol cameos, Omnipresent perspective.

Synopsis: You and Yeonjun are caught up in a cat and mouse game because of unspoken feelings and endless pining for each others’ attention. With the summer break approaching and lots of college parties, will you finally get a chance to explore your feelings for each other; even though the world and Yeonjun’s reputation makes things complicated?

Word count: 11,5K

Genre:  Angst, Fluff.

Warnings: Heavy angst.

A/N: NOT the final chapter.

“Yeonjun…” his name came out like a whisper. You didn’t know what to do or say. You couldn’t fathom the betrayal and hurt that he must be feeling right now. 

“No, there has to be some type of explanation to this. She wouldn’t do this. Why would she? She practically raised me.”  He wasn’t listening, just rambling. Trying to make sense of why he heard her voice on the other end of the line.  

All of you stayed silent, looking at him with concerned and horrified facial expressions.

“Why would she do this. It doesn’t make sense.”

“Hyung…it does kind of explain why you could never find anything. She’s an in-house maid, she could have erased all traces and-”

“No, shut up. She wouldn’t do that.”

“Yeonjun maybe-” Mia tries to talk but Yeonjun cut her off too.

“No, no. Stop. I don’t want to hear it. This woman, she’s the one that sat with me at night so I didn’t have to eat dinner alone, she bathed me, fed me, read me bedtime stories. It can’t be her.” He didn't know who he was trying to convince. Maybe himself?

Yeonjun wasn’t stupid. He knew what it meant when she answered the phone, but he couldn’t accept it. How could he ever trust anyone ever again if this turned out to be true?  

He turned around on his heels so he didn’t have to face you guys, getting lost in thought as he pursed his lips together while running his hand through his hair. He was trying incredibly hard not to cry, until the thought of almost losing you crossed his mind, making a tear escape anyway.

He threw his head back, wiping the single tear from his eye, not wanting to break down in front of all of you. He needed to stay level headed and think rationally. But why was it so god damn hard for him this time when he always managed to pull through?

“She knows how much I love y/n,” he mumbles to no one in particular, but you all heard it and suddenly your heart wrenched in your chest.

He really does love you.

Even though your relationship was far from, well…a relationship. Yeonjun never shied away from expressing his feelings out in the open. Ever since he realized he loved you, he basically never shut up about it to the people around him; even under these circumstances.

You watch him with sad eyes. You didn’t get time to process what happened to you literally minutes ago, but none of it mattered anymore.

You had to set your feelings aside to be there for him.

You’ll heal from it some other time…right?

“Maybe getting to her would cause your breakdown? Meaning you won’t go for the CEO position in the future. You told us she’s the one who told you to come back here, maybe it’s because she didn’t want you to ruin her plans…” Mia says trying to piece things together, and Yeonjun hated to admit it; but it made perfect sense.

Lita knows that if he lost you, he’d completely break down and lose focus. He'd lose the will to succeed because he wouldn't have anyone left to live for.

He’d rather die than have anything happen to you, and maybe that’s dramatic, but it was no lie.  

You got up from your chair and walked over to him. You hold onto his forearm before moving in front of him to announce your presence in case you’d startle him, and when his eyes landed on you his pained facial expression completely disappeared.

It’s like you were a remedy to his broken soul. Every time he laid eyes on you, touched you, or kissed you, he healed a little.

You don’t say anything and just wrap your arms around his waist, pressing your cheek against his chest. His heart was beating fast as he wrapped his arms around you to hug you back. He needed this. He needed you.

All you wanted was for him to be okay. For everything to go back to normal and to take away his pain but all of this was just too fucking crazy to wrap your mind around.

He rested his chin on top of your head and closed his eyes in solace as he sighed. Giving himself a second to breathe before he untangled himself from you without making eye contact.

“I have to call my mom,” he mumbles without emotion.

You look at him a little puzzled, as did Soobin and Mia who gave each other  looks of confusion at his suddenly changed attitude.  

He always does this. He always pushes his emotions aside in the blink of an eye and gets back to business as if it’s nothing.

Yeonjun disappears into your bedroom with his phone as he closes the door behind him. The closed door was enough for all three of you to understand to give him space, and so you did.

With a heavy head and a heavy heart, you sit down at your dinner table again, not feeling Mia and Soobin’s worried eyes on you as you bury your face in your hands. Soobin scooted closer to you and rubbed your back in warming up and down motions to assure you of his presence and Mia, who was sitting across from you, simply grabbed your hand with both of hers.

You sit like that in silence for god knows how long. You were trying to piece things together and process everything that has happened to you and then it hit you.

Every decision Yeonjun has made up until now was to protect you from the unimaginable which somehow became imaginable.  

And suddenly you felt bad for hating him. You hated him for loving you enough to let you go in favor of your own wellbeing. But God knows you did not think of any danger of this caliber.  

It was only months ago that your meaningless crush on Yeonjun got the best of you. If someone from the future would’ve told you that this would be the outcome of pursuing him, you’d probably punch that person in the face for being ridiculous, yet here you are.  

Completely and utterly broken, afraid, tired, and still in love.

And despite everything, you’d still choose to be with Yeonjun if you got to hit the re-do button.

Yeonjun emerged from your bedroom and as you heard the door creak open your head immediately snapped into his direction.

His face held an expression you couldn’t quite read, so you sigh. You bite your lip in anticipation as you watch him pull out a chair of your dining table, waiting for him to sit down and speak up.

“My mom didn’t believe me at first.”

“What? Why?” Mia asks with big eyes.

“Well, can you blame her? She has worked for your family since you were born hyung, this is a big accusation.” Soobin says as he tries to comfort Yeonjun by patting the hair that had grown out in the nape of Yeonjun’s neck. His eyes closed at the physical comfort and he leaned into Soobin’s touch for a split second. The sight was endearing, yet extremely sad.

“She told me she’s letting her people look into it. We can’t contact the police or talk to anyone about what happened. We’ll have to keep a low profile and return to our regular lives so we won’t raise suspicion. My mom will keep me updated and send security to keep us safe in the meantime. They’ll be on guard from tomorrow morning, we won’t even notice they’re here.” Yeonjun explains as if he’s leading a business meeting. All that was missing was a PowerPoint presentation. “Also, that’s evidence,” he says pointing to the cracked phone and the knife in the middle of your dinner table. “We need to put it somewhere safe and make sure no one else touches it.”

The three of you look at him a little dumbfounded.

“What do you mean by her people?” Soobin asks.

“Private detectives,” Yeonjun answers as If it’s nothing.

Private detectives, security, assassins, betrayal. What in the fuck has your life turned into? The things people would do to get to the Choi’s fortunes baffled you, and once again you were at a loss for words.

“Yeonjun, that’s a lot to process,” you say rubbing your forehead as the pain returns. Your hangover never really left you and now it was replaced with a whole new one.

“So, if we have security starting from tomorrow morning…what about tonight?” Soobin asks looking from you to Mia and back to Yeonjun.

“I suggest I stay with y/n. You stay with Mia.” Yeonjun says with a straight face.

You stare at him and make eye contact, and just before you wanted to say something, he interrupts you; knowing what you were going to ask him.

“Please don’t ask me if I’m okay y/n, I’m not.” He sighs as he avoids eye contact, playing with his fingers to distract himself from all of your eyes on him. “I’ll completely shut down if I let myself feel right now. I need to be level headed. I’ll deal with it later.”

Later. It’s always later with him, but when will later be too late?

You all stay quiet for a short while. Your minds going into overdrive and suddenly you felt crippling anxiety wash over you as the memory of that man trying to break your lock comes back to you.

Yay, another trauma to add to the list.

“What if he comes back…” you say in a whisper. Your voice cracked in fear and Yeonjun’s eyes darted to yours. Immediately heartbroken as you pulled your knees up to your chest. Hugging yourself to feel something warmer than the chills running down your spine at the thought of not feeling safe in your own home.

“I’m not leaving you,” Yeonjun says with determination in his eyes.  

You all had school tomorrow, and if you all had to act as if nothing happened tonight, the four of you would need at least some sleep.

After going over the game plan once more paired with a lot of convincing that you’d be alright with just Yeonjun being here, Soobin left with Mia.

Aside from everything, you were glad they left together so they could talk and hash a few things out. Even though you didn’t know what your dynamic with Yeonjun would be like once the two of you were alone together, having more people in your apartment would only make you even more restless than you already were.

The truth is, you had no idea how to act around Yeonjun anymore.  

Too much has happened and too much was weighing down on the both of you to be able to talk about it; so when you closed your front door, you froze before turning around.

He was on your couch, furiously typing to what you assume to be his mother and you know better than to ask about it, so you just awkwardly make your way over to him.

“Uhm…I still have a few of your clothes here. You could shower and change if that makes you feel any better,” you say as you look at him, anxiously waiting for him to look back at you.

He lifted his head from his phone and stared at you, and then at his surroundings as he only now noticed that Mia and Soobin had left already.

His furrowed eyebrows relaxed as he laid eyes on you, and his shoulders fell in relief as he nodded.

“Yes, thank you. I’ll go do that,” he says with a soft smile and an almost too polite tone.

It was as if you were strangers. The tension in the room was noticeable so you averted your attention on the box filled with his stuff next to your front door.

“I-it’s in there.” You stutter as you get up. Silently retrieving it to hand it to him.

You were going to send his stuff back to him, figuring your relationship was basically doomed in the past week.  

He held a neutral facial expression as he took the box from you. His fingers lightly ghosting over yours as he grabbed it from your hold. “You packed my stuff?” he asks as he sets the box aside on your couch.

He wasn’t hurt. In fact, he completely understood. But in some way you wanted him to be hurt.

You wanted him to show you any other emotion than the stoic expression he was holding now.

“I…well, y-yeah.”  you avoid his stare out of insecurity, and he seemed to notice.

“Hey, shhh. I don’t blame you. I get it, really,” he says as he got up from the couch, getting to eye level with you.

He gave you a faint smile as he caressed your cheek with his thumb.  

The Yeonjun you fell in love with would litter your face with kisses to make sure you felt reassured. He’d hug you tightly. Try to make you smile and hold you until you felt better. But the Yeonjun in front of you just turned around, grabbing the box again before he made eye contact once more. “Go to bed, don’t be afraid. I’ll be sleeping on the couch so nothing can happen to you okay?”  

You nod absentmindedly, avoiding his eyes.  

He gave you one last look before he made his way over to your bathroom and locked the door. By doing this he created a distance he hadn’t created before and suddenly you felt hollow.

'Oh my god, he locked the door.' you think to yourself.

He’s distancing himself from you because he’s in pain. But he wouldn’t tell you that with actual words because he didn’t know how.

And if he broke down now, he wouldn’t stop.

You stood there in the exact same spot for at least another 30 seconds. Listening to him turn on the faucet of your shower.

There was nothing you wanted more at the moment than to join him. Massage his sore muscles, and hold him close to be his security blanket but you can’t. And even if you could, you don’t know if you should.

After chugging down a glass of cold water while staring at your front door in paranoia you reluctantly made your way to your bed.  

You were tossing and turning, trying to hear if Yeonjun already finished getting ready for bed.

When you heard the faucet close and the door of your bathroom unlock, something inside of you hoped that he’d change his mind and crawl into your bed with you, but after 5 long and agonizing minutes of waiting, you gave up on the probability of him doing so.

You hated this.

You hated that he was so close, yet so far, and you hated even more that you were the one who created this distance.

The two of you never got to really talk, meaning he was just being respectful and mindful of your wishes. He was trying to give you the space you asked for but after tonight, you weren’t sure if space was what you needed.

You bite your lip, contemplating if your next move was the right one to make but after a full hour of not being able to fall asleep because of your overthinking ass, you figured you had nothing to lose.

You get out of your bed with your duvet wrapped around you like a cape and make your way to your living room silently, dragging your feet on your wooden floor.

He left a light on in your hallway, which you were happy about because you were able to see his sleeping form on your couch in the warm yet dimmed light.

He was lying on his back. His arms were crossed over his chest and his body faced your front door so he’d be able to see if anything were to happen.

As you got closer to him, you study his facial expression.

His lips were slightly parted and he was breathing slowly. He must’ve been completely exhausted to be able to sleep under these circumstances and you purse your lips together, noticing how his face still held a pained expression even in his sleep.

You unwrap your blanket from yourself and pull it over Yeonjun’s sleeping form as carefully as you could and tuck him in a little.

Your initial plan was to cuddle next to him on your couch, but given how peacefully he was sleeping you decide against it.

Instead, you move a piece from his grown out bangs away from his eyes and kiss his forehead before you got up, ready to walk back to your room until you feel a hand taking a firm hold on your wrist.

You look back in shock, feeling like you got caught. It took everything in you to suppress a yelp and when you made eye contact with him, he chuckled lowly.

He wasn’t asleep at all. In fact, he was struggling with the exact same thoughts. 

He opened the covers for you, pulling you down with him without a word and you gladly accepted the invitation.

You nuzzle your face in the crook of his neck as you rest your hand on his chest. He made sure you were completely covered by the blanket as well, and held on to your waist with one hand as the other patted your head in slow, comforting strokes.

Your lashes fluttered closed in solace and he sighed, looking down at you before he kissed your forehead.

The action made you look up at him through your lashes and when you notice his lingering stare you quickly look away, resting your cheek on his chest as you sigh contently.

The cliches were all true. There really is nothing compared to feeling at home in someone’s arms,  and for a moment you forgot about all the trauma and heartbreak.

You kiss his neck, feeling yourself doze off as he kept playing with your hair.

“Yeonjun…” you whisper.

The sound of your voice surprised him. He frowned as he looked down at you, halting his movements.

“Hmm?”

“Just so you know. I never stopped loving you.”  

Being in a lecture hall at 9 AM as if nothing had happened last night was literal torture.

You had to hear Mr. Davis ramble about stuff you already knew about, but he took attendance so there was no way you could skip out on it without failing his class.  

Though you had gotten a good night’s rest, it was hard to concentrate with everything going on and it was even harder to concentrate knowing you were being watched.

Yeonjun’s mom wasn’t playing when she said that you’d all get personal security as quickly as dawn came. They followed you around disguised as regular college kids and kept their distance. In some moments you forgot they were around but when you looked over your shoulder in the lecture hall as you felt a pair of eyes on you; the reality of things hit you again.

The lecture hall was filled with at least 200 students, so no one would bat an eye at their presence. They blended in perfectly, which was both reassuring yet scary because anyone with malicious intent could be doing the exact same thing.

You kept looking around the lecture hall with suspicion, completely zoning out and not paying attention. Mia, who was sitting next to you was dozing off, so you nudged her to keep her awake.

“You didn’t sleep?” you ask as you move a piece of her hair from her line of sight.

She sighed, shaking her head as she fixes her posture.

“No, Soobin and I stayed up all night to talk and once we fell asleep it was 5 AM,” she whispers.

“Did you…work things out?”  

“We talked, we’re nowhere near how it used to be but we agreed on working through this.”

You smiled to yourself. Good. They were both miserable without each other, and even though there were a lot of things left unsaid and unresolved, you were glad things were slowly going back to normal.

“How about you? Did you and Yeonjun talk about it?” She asks looking over her shoulder to see if no one was paying attention to your conversation and you catch yourself doing the same.

“No. I didn’t know how to, and he made it obvious that he didn’t want to talk about it.”

“Well, he’s going to have to sooner than later.”  

You nod in agreement. You basically haven’t solved anything with Mia, but it was nice to have her to talk to about all of this. Sort of? There was still a lot of communicating to be done but first, this whole Lita situation had to be fixed.  

“We never got to have that conversation back in your apartment either,” Mia says as she reminisced back to the moment your lives turned into an action movie.

“We will, soon.”

“Ladies!” your professor's voice bounced off the walls loudly and you immediately knew you were being called out for talking in his class.

“If you want to talk so badly you should’ve just joined the debate team,” he says clicking his tongue, and suddenly everyone's’ eyes were on both you and Mia.  

So much for keeping a low profile...

“Sorry.” You both say in unison.  

Just before Mr Davis was about to continue his lecture he made eye contact with you and stopped in his tracks. “Wait, y/n right?”

You frown in surprise, and so does Mia. “Yes, that’s me.”

“Stay after class, there's something I need to talk to you about.”  

Your eyes dart to Mia’s but she just shrugs, equally as confused as you are. You simply nod at your professors’ request and just like that he continues his class.

For the remaining half hour of the lecture, you were starting to wonder why he’d want to see you after class. When the lecture ended, you waited for most of the students to exit before you approached him on the stage with Mia trailing behind you after you asked her to.

Your invisible security guards waited outside of the door, and luckily Mr. Davis didn’t notice.

“I’m sorry Mia, this is a private matter.”  

Mia gave you a look but you just nodded that it was ok. You were dying to know what was going on by now.

“I’ll see you at lunch,” she says, and you nod as she walked out.

One of the security guards left with her, trailing behind her in the hallway and the other still stood at the entrance of the lecture hall. Watching you and Mr Davis while also skimming his surroundings with his eyes.

You take a deep breath and face your teacher. “You wanted to see me, sir?”

“Yes. Yes, I did.” He walks over to his desk and retrieves a stack of papers from his drawer and you immediately recognize the front page.

It’s the research paper you wrote right before summer. It is the paper you finished writing in the cafeteria when Soobin basically forbid you to date Yeonjun after he came over to your table to flirt with you. The irony of it all was off-putting.

You totally forgot about it. That paper resembled a new beginning in your life somehow, but why would your teacher want to talk to you about it? Was it that bad?

“Did I fail it?” you ask with concern evident in your eyes, but your teacher just gives you a look of confusion and starts laughing at you.

“Fail!? y/n this is the best paper I’ve read in my career as a teacher, that’s 20 whole years.” He says as he sat down on the edge of his desk, giving you a warm smile

Your eyes widen in surprise. “What?”

“Yes, in fact. I sent it to a former colleague at Brown University, and they were so impressed and intrigued by your hypothesis that they want to fund your research.”  He exclaims excitedly.

“I don’t….I don’t think I’m following sir…”  

“They want you to spend a semester there, so you can carry out your research. Your return depends on your work tempo and the development period. They’ll provide a living space and take care of all of your expenses. This is huge. y/n. None of my students have gotten an opportunity like this. This is quite the offer and to be blunt. I think you should take it.”

Your mind goes into overdrive.  

This is huge. Absolutely huge. A prestigious University like Brown had enough faith in your research to invest actual money into it. How did this happen?

“This…is a lot to take in,” you say a little dazed as you rake your hand through your hair.  

“I know, I will send you an email with all of the details. Give it a good thought and let me know by the end of the week. If you decide to go, you’ll leave as soon as possible. I’m so excited for you! You have no idea how big this could be for your future. This could re-write a lot about what we know about neuroscience. It’s groundbreaking.”

He gave you a pat on your shoulder as he started to pack his things into his briefcase. Leaving you with your graded paper in your hand as you look down at it.

You scored a 100.

A hundred? How did this even happen?  

It took you a full minute to collect yourself before you were able to walk out of that lecture hall.

You silently made your way outside, taking a deep breath of fresh air before sitting down on a random bench to think things through, but when you heard the door open behind you with your designated security guard nonchalantly standing beside the door as he tried not to disturb you, you scoff in annoyance.

This had to stop. Quickly. You wanted your life back as soon as possible.

You swallow harshly as you stare at the large document in your hands.

Would you be able to leave everything behind for half a year or longer by yourself? Would you be able to leave your friends? Gyu, Tae, Hyuka, Mia, Soobin…Yeonjun.

You couldn’t imagine leaving him out of all of them. Even though Soobin and yourself haven’t spent more than 1 week apart since birth it wasn’t necessarily him you were worried about.  

It was Yeonjun. What would this mean for your relationship? And what kind of partner would you be if you decided to leave him behind in the midst of the hardest time in his life?

He needed you and you needed him. But you also knew that you couldn’t let an opportunity like this go for the sake of an undefined relationship with someone who caused you more harm than good.

This was a lot to think about but then it hit you that you didn’t even have the freedom to think.

You checked the time on your phone and realized you were running late to the only class you shared with all 6 of them; Advanced English.

It’s a class that mixed both different years and majors, and all of you applied for it during that picnic before summer, just for the hell of it. All of you wanted to share at least one class together and it was the only available option.

“Shit,” you huff under your breath before you quickly grab your things and make a run for it. Your security guard had trouble following you unnoticed like this, so he decided to keep an even larger distance.

As you make it to the classroom, it was already completely filled as you were the last one to arrive. Your shadow stayed outside, sitting down at an individual study booth where he could keep an eye on things, and you couldn’t be more glad that he didn’t follow you inside.

You apologize to your teacher for being late and make your way to a random table, avoiding the one your friends were sitting at.

All of their eyes darted to you in confusion, but Yeonjun and Soobin looked at you a little worriedly.  

“Is she ok? Did she not see us?” Taehyun asks as he cocked his head to the side.

“She had to stay behind in our other class, maybe she’s upset?” Mia explains, shrugging her shoulders.

“Stay behind? Why?” Soobin asks raising his eyebrow as he looks at you with concern.

“I don’t know. Mr. Davis asked me to leave before he spoke to her.”  

Beomgyu sighs. “He’s a dick. I hope he didn’t yell at her. He was my guidance coach last year”

“He’s only a dick to people who don’t do shit in his classes,” Hueningkai states rolling his eyes, which earned him a hard punch to his upper arm from Beomgyu.

Yeonjun watched you closely as Gyu and Hueningkai bickered as background noise. He could tell you were stressed by the way you were tapping your heel on the floor while you keep clicking your pen on your notebook. He sighed, closing his books as he grabbed his stuff.

Since the class was about to start, people were looking at Yeonjun for suddenly switching seats. You had no idea what was going on until you hear the chair next to you being pulled back.

Your eyes meet and your anxiety vanishes. He sat down without a word, taking your hand under the table while intertwining your fingers together in an attempt to calm you down.

He didn’t know what had you so out of it, but he figured being hunted by some unknown man commissioned by his housemaid was enough to have you lose your mind.

A few girls seemed to notice Yeonjun’s sweet actions which made them audibly swoon at his loving gesture, which made Taehyun, Beomgyu and Hueningkai gag a little while Mia and Soobin just gave each other knowing looks.

He rubbed those comforting circles into your hand and kissed your temple quickly before averting his attention back on the board.

Luckily this class was followed by a lengthy and desperately needed break. When your professor dismissed you all earlier than expected, your friends make their way to your table just as quickly as Yeonjun turned to face you fully.

You weren’t sure what to tell them yet, but you knew they had questions as to why you were late.

“Hey? Are you ok? Why did Mr. Davis make you stay back?” Soobin asks as he sat down on the corner of your table.

Beomgyu started to randomly play with the ends of your hair, Mia stood beside Yeonjun and Hyuka and Tae stood beside you waiting with anticipation.

You got up, clearing your throat. “Uhm, he wanted to talk to me about the paper I handed in before summer.”

“Oh no, did you fail?” Beomgyu asks with sad eyes.

You shake your head, pulling the report out of your bag, placing it on the table so all of them could look at it.

“A 100!?” Taehyun gasps.

“Wow. You fucking nerd.” Beomgyu says rolling his eyes. “This is why you’re down? What’s wrong with you.” Hueningkai adds as he gently nudges your shoulder.

Yeonjun looks from the paper to you with big and proud eyes. He gives you a tender smile as he caresses your cheek. “This is incredible. I’m so proud of you,” he speaks with sincerity.

You bite your lip as you nod absentmindedly and force out a smile.  

“Can we go have lunch. I’m starving.” Taehyun says as he walks out of the classroom first, followed by an equally hungry Beomgyu and Hueningkai.

As they left Soobin turns to you. “Ok, so what’s really wrong.”

“Nothing. The whole being followed everywhere thing is just getting to me I guess.”

“I’m so sorry.” Yeonjun says as he avoids eye contact. His tone was somber, and suddenly you feel bad.

“Hey, look at me,” you say as you tug on his chin. “None of this is your fault. You can’t blame yourself for what’s happening. This is out of your control, do you understand?” your tone was stern as you spoke to him. You talked to him as if you were trying to make a child understand something but it was necessary.

You needed him to understand.

He bit his lip, wanting to disagree with you but Soobin jumped in to back you up. “She’s right. Don’t beat yourself up over this. Everything will be okay.”  

You had one more class left for the day but you decided to skip it, not being able to focus on anything else other than the life-changing decision you would have to make soon.  

You desperately needed to consult someone about this and even though things weren’t quite the same between you two, the only person you can confide in about something like this was Mia.

Soobin would be too emotionally involved, and even though Mia is too, she’d be more rational about things.  

She was on your couch, reading the email Mr. Davis sent you and her eyes widened right before she started yelling.

“WHAT!? BROWN! THIS IS HUGE!?”

“I mean don’t get me wrong, our school is great…but it’s no Brown University.”  she gulps with enlarged pupils.

You sigh, relieved to know that she’s excited for you, but then the inevitable question came up.

“How long? Like a few weeks?” she asks with an excited twinkle in her eyes.

You shake your head. “More like a few months…6 to be exact.”  

And suddenly her smile falters. “Oh…”

“Yeah…oh.” You say mimicking her as you sit down next to her.

“I- well…that’s a lot to think about,”  Mia says with a pout. It was finally clicking to her why you were so out of it earlier today.

“I know…” you say as you stare into distance, losing yourself in your thoughts once again.

“What’s holding you back?” Mia asks as she studies you. You look back at her with sad eyes and without a word, she could already guess what you were about to say.

“Yeonjun?” she assumes and you nod in response.

“It just doesn’t seem right to leave him in the midst of all of this.”

“Y/n…don’t you think distance might be exactly what you need from him? If you are meant to be, it’ll be. And if you think of it. Maybe time apart is what you need. This is the perfect opportunity to heal individually and come back as better people…so you can be better together.”

Well. She has a point there.  

“It’s not like I want you gone, fuck no. I’m gonna miss you so much and I’m pretty sure Soobin will fall apart without you but…y/n this is a once in a lifetime type of opportunity.” Mia says as she wraps an arm around you.

You sigh, moving into her hold to hug her. She’s surprised by the action, not thinking you were ready for that yet, you know; given everything that happened, but you desperately needed a hug right now. Mia tightened her hold on you and sighed.

“You’ll be okay. And we’ll all just be a phone call away.”

A single tear escapes from your eye and you let go of her, wiping it away while trying to contain your emotions.

You know you have to go. You really do. But what you don’t know is how to tell Yeonjun.

“Will you help me write the email to Mr. Davis? I’m going to tell him that I’m going.”

Mia gave you a weak smile, wiping away the watery remnants of your tear away from your cheek. She sighed, scooting closer to you.

“Of course.”

“Hyung, pass the ball,” Taehyun says with a raised eyebrow as he watches Yeonjun dribble the ball absentmindedly for over 30 seconds.  

They had practice, and even though Yeonjun wasn’t feeling up to it at all, he knew he had to go. He had to live his life like he normally would and basketball practice was one of those ‘normal’ things.

Yeonjun snapped out of his thoughts and passed the ball to Taehyun before looking over his shoulder to watch one of the security details on the benches.

A lot of people came to watch during practice, so it wouldn’t be noticeable, but Taehyun has the wit of a mind reader, therefore he immediately caught on to who Yeonjun was looking at.

“Who’s that?” Taehyun asks as he passes the ball back to Yeonjun. He swiftly caught it, looking at Taehyun with wide eyes. “Ehm, don’t know. A scout maybe?”  

Taehyun narrowed his eyes at Yeonjun and sighed. “I know you and Soobin are keeping secrets from the rest of us. We’re not dumb hyung, or at least I’m not.”

Yeonjun sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Just trust us. Once all of it is over we’ll tell you.”

“Once what is over?” he tried again.

“Taehyun.” Yeonjun’s voice was strict, it was a clear warning for Taehyun to stop asking questions but the younger one wasn’t quite having it.

He rolled his eyes, dropping the ball as he walked off to a different teammate.  

The last thing Yeonjun wanted was to create a distance between all of them but he had no choice. The fewer people knew, the better it’d be.

Soobin stood in the corner, watching them closely, and approached once Taehyun walked off in annoyance.

He sighed, patting Yeonjun on the shoulder which made Yeonjun jump at the unexpected touch.

“Oh, sorry. It’s just me.” Soobin speaks as he fixes a piece of Yeonjun’s hair, which made him smile at Soobin softly.

“The boys are getting suspicious,” Yeonjun states as he eyes them from afar with his arms crossed.

“Yeah, this morning Beomgyu asked me why we were being secretive,” Soobin says doing the same.

“Beomgyu did?”  

“Yeah…”

“Well then it must be fucking obvious cause he’s oblivious.”  

Soobin chuckled. “Don’t worry about it, they’ll understand once we-” he got cut off by the buzzing of Yeonjun’s phone. Soobin watched Yeonjun carefully as he looked at the caller ID.

“It’s my mom,” Yeonjun says with big eyes.  

Soobin lips form an ‘o’ as he steps closer to check his phone. “Well, pick it up?”  

“Wait, come with me to the dressing rooms,” Yeonjun says as he drags Soobin with him.

Meanwhile, Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Hueningkai were watching them run off together from the bleachers.

Hueningkai’s eyes followed them as he raised his eyebrows in confusion. “First they don’t talk to each other for a week, and now they don’t talk to us.”

“I don’t know what’s going on with them either,” Beomgyu says as he clings onto Taehyuns arm while resting his head on Tae’s shoulder. “I just want all of us to get along like we used to.”

Taehyun pouts. “Then let’s find out what’s going on with them.”

As the boys kept speculating about the situation, Soobin and Yeonjun had locked themselves in a dressing room; making sure that no one was around before Yeonjun answered the phone, putting it on speaker so both of them could hear clearly.  

“Mom?”  

“What took you so long?” His mothers’ voice was clear and calm, yet cold.

“I had to go somewhere secluded, I was in the middle of practice,” he carefully explains. Yeonjun always had the feeling he had to walk on eggshells around his mom, even in a situation like this. “Soobin is also here by the way.”  

“Oh…well. I’m just going to cut to the chase. Lita confessed.”  

Yeonjun’s eyes darted to Soobin’s equally enlarged ones as his heart dropped. He gulped, as did Soobin. He didn’t understand how Yeonjun’s mother could break the news to him in such an insensitive way.  

He knew how much Yeonjun was hurting because of it, and confirmation would only make that worse, so why didn’t Yeonjun’s mother try to at least make an effort to soothe Yeonjun’s already gaping wounds?

“She did?” Yeonjuns eyes instantly started to fill with tears and Soobin noticed. Putting his head on Yeonjun’s shoulder as he quietly rubbed his back in an attempt to comfort him.

Yeonjun couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that the woman that cared for him when no one else would, was a traitor. A cold-blooded traitor who was just after their money.  

Was it all a hoax? Did she never care for him at all? Or did something happen that made her turn on his family?  

This was the biggest betrayal of his life. If the one person that actually cared for him was able to hurt him like this, then what about everyone else? This ignited a whole new set of trust issues and yet another traumatic experience to talk about with his therapist and honestly, he didn’t know if he could take it anymore.

“She admitted to wanting to overthrow the company. But she did not admit to being behind the attempted assault to y/n. And since no one got hurt paired with the fact that there is no real evidence, we can’t incarcerate her for that.”

“What!?” Yeonjun exclaims in disbelief. “You’re telling me that we can’t press charges against Lita for trying to hurt y/n?”  

“I’m afraid not…you’re going to have to fly out again to testify as a witness. I don’t want to bother y/n too much so I’ll just have my people call her for questioning, however since you are the sole heir to Choi Enterprises, I’m going to need you there in court.” His mother states as if it’s nothing.

Yeonjun’s mind was spinning. He had too many questions and too little brain capacity to be able to ask all of them at once. He swallowed harshly as Soobin motioned to Yeonjun to give him the phone, and without a thought, he did.

Soobin cleared his throat before speaking, hoping not to be out of line by doing so, but he could tell Yeonjun was having a hard time to collect his thoughts.

“Hello mam, this is Soobin. Uhm, I hope it’s ok.”

“Oh, hi. Yes, of course. Proceed.”

Soobin smacked his lips nervously, instantly intimidated by the sound of her voice yet he decided to speak anyway.

“How do we know for sure if Lita’s minions will stand down now that she got caught? And is she in jail now? I’m not quite sure if I get it. And do we need the security guards? It’s pretty bothersome and distracting to all of us…” Soobin says as he watches Yeonjun stare into nothingness.

He sighed awaiting a response. Soobin laced his fingers with Yeonjun’s to calm him down once more and it seemed to work as Yeonjun’s attention averted back to the conversation at hand.

“We won’t know for sure. But it’d be really stupid of her to try anything now that we’ve caught her. The security details will stay with you all until this is over with, that’s not up for discussion. And yes. Lita will rot in jail. I’ll make sure of it.”

Shivers ran down Soobin’s spine at the scary tone of Yeonjun’s mother. She was beyond reasoning with but could he blame her? A trusted family employee of over 20 years has made the ultimate betrayal. Soobin couldn’t imagine the hurt and anger she must be feeling right now, so he didn’t dare to go against her about the security guard situation.

Yeonjun’s lower lip trembled as he silently took the phone from Soobin again.

“Mom…” his voice was shaky. He sounded lost and scared, like a child calling out for his mother in distress.  

His mother immediately softened at the sound of his voice. Her heart hurting for him as the realization hit her. She had been in overdrive. Lacking sleep and working day and night to make sure Yeonjun and his friends were safe, but she didn’t stop to think about how he’d be feeling in the midst of all of this.

Her mind briefly flashed back to when she confronted Lita in her home office, surrounded by her security and private detectives. She reminisced to the horror on Lita’s face after getting caught for the unforgivable.  

She was so busy with making sure that Lita wouldn’t be a threat anymore, that she completely disregarded the fact that Yeonjun might be having the hardest time of them all.

Even though Lita was a trusted employee, their relationship didn’t go further than business, but Yeonjun was raised by her, and she completely forgot about that.

“I can’t take this…” a tear escapes Yeonjun’s eye. And another one, and another one. Wiping them away was no use as they kept coming, so he just let them fall freely. He silently sobbed while Soobin put Yeonjuns head on his shoulder, letting him weep like a baby as he still held on to Yeonjun’s hand.

His mother fell silent, unable to comfort her son because she didn’t know how.

“I’m sorry Yeonjun,” she says in almost a whisper. “I’m sorry you have to feel this type of pain. I will do everything I can to help you okay? I promise. Once the situation is dealt with I will get you the best team of people to help you with your troubles, I won’t mess up this time. I promise I’ll be there for you.”

Yeonjun sniffed, trying to collect himself to respond but he couldn’t. Promises are just words. Words that have meant nothing in his life.

“I don’t need a team of people mom, I need you,” his voice cracked. “I need this pain to stop. I just need my mother, not a lawyer or another therapist. I just need you. I need a parent.”

Soobin’s heart wrenched in his chest at the plea’s Yeonjun was making to his mother. He couldn’t imagine having this type of relationship with his own parents.

In the moment Soobin made a pledge with himself that no matter how much Yeonjun seems to fuck up, he won’t ever leave him behind. He will make sure to be the rock Yeonjun needs, regardless of his mother actually trying or not.

Taehyun, Beomgyu, and Hueningkai had their ears pressed against the door throughout the whole thing. As silence engulfed the space, the three of them looked at each other with enlarged pupils as shock took over their faces.

They put two and two together individually. Looking at each other with disheartened expressions.

“Oh no…” Taehyun says in a whisper.

You didn’t know how to tell them.  

You didn’t know how to tell Yeonjun or Soobin individually so you just invited all of the boys over at once to get it over with.  

It was nighttime by now and you figured you’d cook them all dinner given the fact that food always lures them to your place. Hopefully, the sweet taste of your homemade brownies would subside the bitter news you had to break to them.

Mia helped with everything, the table was fully decked out with all sorts of dishes and it was obvious you were overcompensating for something but they had no clue yet.

When they got to your apartment, Yeonjun and Soobin were missing from the group which made you panic a little.  

“Damn what’s the occasion?” Beomgyu asks as his mouth waters, looking at the absolute feast you cooked up for them.

“Uhm, well. I have some news, but I have to wait for Yeonjun and Soobin to tell you guys.”

Mia awkwardly took place at the table between Hueningkai and Taehyun and Tae just stared at you. “Please tell me you’re not pregnant.”

“NO! Oh my god. Tae. No.” you give him a horrified look and pat your stomach.

“Thank god, I’m too young to be an uncle.” Hueningkai sighs in relief as he slouched in his seat.

“Yeah, when you said you were cooking us dinner cause you had an announcement to make I really thought Yeonjun finally knocked someone up.” Beomgyu snickers as he shoved a dumpling in his mouth.

You roll your eyes and look at the two empty seats. “Do you know where they are?”  

Your question triggered a silence so awkward, you’ve never experienced anything like it in your friend group.

Taehyun looked at Beomgyu, and Beomgyu looked at Hueningkai; while Hueningkai looked to Taehyun to take the lead.

“I-uhh…” Tae starts, but he stopped himself. He didn’t know how much you both knew of the situation so he decided against speaking about it.  

“They had some errands to run. I’m sure they’ll be here soon.”  

Beomgyu visibly relaxed in his seat at Tae made up an alibi for the boys’ whereabouts, but Mia – being the hyper-aware one – narrowed her eyes at them.  

The boys collectively agreed on pretending they didn’t know what was going on until either Yeonjun or Soobin would tell them themselves. They wanted to give them; and especially Yeonjun, time to process and didn’t want to push him into explaining the situation to them if he wasn’t ready for it.  

Also, they felt bad for eavesdropping and weren’t sure how to start the conversation even if they wanted to.

The twisting of your lock snaps you out of the moment and suddenly fear takes over your entire body. The trauma triggered by Lita’s minion trying to break your lock last night was the cause of your shocked Pikachu face, but when you see Soobin and Yeonjun in your door opening you relax instantly.

You gave Soobin a key, how could you forget.

“Oh, I didn’t expect you guys here so soon.” Hueningkai comments, which made Gyu and Tae look at him with threatening eyes.

“Where else would we be?” Soobin asks as he walks towards the table. He greeted you with a kiss on your head, and Mia with a kiss on her cheek before he sat down next to you.

The distance between Mia and Soobin was still odd, he’d normally kiss her lips but he played it off well as he slid his chair towards the table while eyeing the food closely.

Yeonjun on the other hand; greeted you with a soft smile while simply petting your head before he sat down on the opposite side of Soobin.  

The atmosphere was odd. Yeonjun was uncharacteristically quiet but you figured it was because of everything that was going on and honestly you couldn’t blame him. His head must be the fullest out of all of you, so you made sure to keep the conversation light and airy.

Your funny group dynamic slowly returned, and before you knew it, it was already time for dessert.  

“I’ll help you.” Yeonjun offered as he cleared the table.

You were in your kitchen, taking a deep breath as you were cutting up the last brownie, prettily putting it on a plate with some red berries on the side.  

As Yeonjun approached with the dishes, he watched you carefully. He put the dirty plates in the sink before he nudged your shoulder softly to get your attention, pulling you out of your concentration of perfectly assembling your masterpiece.

You look up, and you’re met with his beautiful soft smile. His eyes were glistening and he sighed contently. “You went all out,” he comments as he watches you do your thing. “Yeah, maybe I should deliver one to my designated security guard in the parking lot,” you joke under your breath and even though your sense of humor was pretty dark given the situation, he seemed to appreciate it as he giggled. Your heart did a thing at the sound. You missed it. You missed hearing his loud laugh. You missed seeing him happy.

“There’s actually new information I want to share with you and Mia, but we’ll have to wait until the boys leave.”

You look at him shortly before you avert your gaze back on the task at hand. You really didn’t know if the timing was right to talk about your exchange to Brown University but given the fact that you were leaving so soon, you also knew that you didn’t have much of a choice.

Suddenly you felt guilty again for leaving in the midst of all of this, but he’d understand? Right?  

You nod absentmindedly and tell him to sit down with the others so you could start decking the table and once everyone had a plate, you stood at the edge of your dinner table looking at them nervously.

They all give you puzzled looks, while Mia gave you a reassuring nod.

“So…they’re Brownies.”

Soobin chuckled, raising his eyebrow. “I can see that.”

“No well…they’re…brownies for…Brown University,” you explain nervously.

“Huh?” Beomgyu breaks the silence, his eyes darting from the plate to you.

All eyes were on you by now, expectantly waiting for you to continue.

“Remember that paper from this morning?”

“The one you got a 100 on?” Hueningkai asks.

“Yes, well. Uhm. Mr Davis sort of, might’ve sent it to a representative at Brown…and they want to like…fund my research or whatever,” you say avoiding eye contact as you fidget with the sleeves of your blouse.

“Brown!? Dude. That’s…insane!” Taehyun exclaims enthusiastically.  

“God, and here I thought you really were pregnant.” Beomgyu huffs. “But this is amazing!”

“Yes, congratulations sis, you really deserved it!” Hueningkai says with a bright smile.  

You look at them with an elated facial expression, happy that they’re happy for you. But then you turn your head and look at Soobin who has literal tears in his eyes.

“…Soobin?” you lean in to see if your eyes were deceiving you but they weren't. His eyes really were teary.

“Hyung are those tears?” Taehyun asks wide-eyed.

He sniffed, wiping his eyes as he got up from the chair to trap you into a tight hug. “I’m just really proud of you,” he mumbles.  

As you’re trapped in his bear-hug, your nerves fade. “Finally some good news,” he whispers into your ear. And you close your eyes at the solace of this peaceful moment.

Yes, it really is good news. And only now you realize just how amazing it is that you’ve accomplished this all on your own. You finally get to be happy about it now that you’ve told them.

When he let go, you finally make eye contact with Yeonjun and he had an equally proud smile on his face to match Soobin’s.

“This is amazing, y/n. You earned it.” he says with glistening pupils and your heart raced at his sweet remark.

“So, how long will you be gone for? Like a week? Two weeks?” Beomgyu asks as he chews on the fudgy brownie you made them.

Oh…shit. You didn’t tell them how long you’d be gone for.

You shoot Mia a panicked look but her facial expression only matched yours.

“Uhm…”  

All eyes were on you again. They were full of hope, expectation, and pride; and for some reason, you knew you were going to ruin the moment.

“It’s…about a semester-long,” you admit, and all of their facial expressions fall at the same time.

“That’s…six months.” Soobin realizes. It hit him that his best friend; who he’s never been more than a week without, will leave his side for half a year for the first time in his life.

“Damn…that’s a long time…” Taehyun says looking from you to Yeonjun with concern.

You didn’t dare look at him, but you knew that all of them were.

Mia bit her lip as she looked at how sad Soobin had gotten, but her gaze averted to Yeonjun and her look changed from sadness to confusion.

Yeonjun was…smiling.

Your eyes found his as he smiled at you fondly. He’s dying inside, but of course, he wouldn’t tell you that. There’s no way in hell he’d ruin this moment for you.

He had to man up and show his best fake smile because he’d never guilt trip you into not going. The opportunity was too big to let go, and honestly. You being far, very far away from this whole mess kind of eased his mind.  

You’d be safe.  

Without him around.

“What?” he asks trying to sound genuinely confused as to why everyone was looking at him.

“Aren’t you…upset?” Mia asks carefully, which made Yeonjun look at her briefly before looking at everyone’s equally worried facial expressions, including yours.

You expected every possible reaction, except this one, and it lowkey scared you.  

“How could I be upset?” he says with an eye-smile as he breaks off a piece of the brownie, shoving it into his mouth while giving all of you innocent puppy-eyes.

Someone get this man an Oscar.  

You didn’t know if you should be happy or sad that he reacted the way he did. You’d rather have him yell at you for leaving him, that’d be a lot less unnerving than the scarily calm and collected man sitting in front of you right now.

“Hyung, she’s leaving for half a year.” Beomgyu tries to make this clearer, thinking that Yeonjun didn’t understand, but he did, fully.

“I know. Look, I will obviously miss y/n. But what good will it do if I let my emotions get the best of me right now? This is supposed to be a joyful moment. She’s worked for this her whole life guys. Let’s be proud and happy for her. It’s almost like you all want me to freak out?”

Every single one of you was absolutely dumbfounded by his comment. It was mature of him, that’s for sure, but you expected at least some emotion other than this capitalist smile he had on his face.

“Let’s give them some time alone,” Soobin says as he got up. “I will talk to you later.” He states as he passes by you, squeezing your hand in reassurance.  

Your pupils dart from him to Mia and the rest of the boys in panic. Oh no, please don’t leave.

Yeonjun still sat at your dinner table like a robot while the rest of them quickly thanked you for dinner as they left your place, taking their brownies with them.

They all followed Soobin obediently and after Mia whispered in your ear to call her if anything popped off, she left. And you were all alone with Yeonjun.

You turn around on your heels. Making your way to your dinner table again as your heart thumped in your chest.

You carefully approach him, pulling out a chair to sit beside him and you just silently take his hand.

He refused to make eye contact with you, and suddenly you felt like the biggest dick in the universe.

“Please don’t make me say it,” he says.

“Say what?” you squeeze his hand, waiting for him to respond.

“Please don’t make me tell you that I want you to stay, because I do. But I could never, ever be that selfish.”

“Yeonjun….I’m the selfish one.”

His eyes shot up to look at yours. His pupils were dilated, alarmed, and startled. 

“No, you’re not. You’re going. End of story, and when you come back, I’m going to love you just as much, maybe even more than when you left.”

Your eyes start to fill with tears, and he’s quick to notice as he pulled you into his lap, cradling you like a baby.

“Hey, shhh. Don’t cry.” his voice was laced with sadness as he watched you cry. He hated the sight more than anything and tried to wipe your tears with his thumbs.

“Yeonjun, I don’t want to abandon you.” You sniff into his neck as all the tension and nerves of making this life-altering decision get to you.

It’s not like you weren’t coming back, but 6 months is a long time. You weren’t the same person you were 2 months ago, let alone 6.

“You’re not, don’t say that.”

“I don’t want you to hate me,” you mumble as you sniff.

“I could never hate you y/n. Ever.” He assured you of his true feelings as he rubbed your back, trying to soothe your pain as you cried into the crook of his neck.

His cold fingers caressed your cheek, and he closed his eyes for a second. Listening to you cry softly in silence as he contemplated on what to say.

“This is supposed to be a good thing baby…why are you crying.”  

Baby. He hasn’t called you that in a while.

"Because I don't want to leave you."

He was trying his hardest to keep it together, but to be honest he was one push away from a mental breakdown.

He needed you, now more than ever. But Yeonjun would never tell you that, cause you’d stay for him, and he knew it.

“Maybe space is what we need,” he says with a heavy heart, and your tears immediately stopped.

You look up at him. What did he just say to you?

He sighed, tracing his fingers over your lips before tugging at your chin to pull you closer. He placed his lips on yours and kissed you softly, passionately, and lovingly before he pulls away to rest his forehead against yours.

“Let’s be real y/n. Being with me has only complicated things. Maybe we can use these 6 months and try to grow separately before we can be great together…”

Mia said the exact same thing, but if he’s saying what you think he’s saying; then you honestly didn’t want to hear it.

Long-distance would be rough, but it’d be better than not having him at all.

You wipe your tears away with your sleeve and sniff once again, trying to collect yourself before you start to speak again.

“You want to end whatever it is that we have?”

“No…and yes…”

“Why…” you sounded absolutely broken as your voice cracked, it made his heart hurt for you so he sighed loudly. Looking you in the eye with desperation.

“Because I can’t love you the way you deserve to be loved y/n. At least not now. I'm...fucked up.”

You look at him with glassy eyes, shocked to hear his confession. You leaving was just the final straw. He has tried to do this before when he planned to stay back home and work for Choi Enterprises, but this was the first time he said it. With actual words.

“Why? What changed. I thought that-”

“Lita confessed.” He interrupts you before you could make any assumptions yourself.  

“W-what?”

“She confessed, I have to leave for home next Wednesday to testify against her in court. Everything’s going so fucking fast…”

“Next Wednesday? I also leave next Wednesday...” you mumble softly.

His eyes grew big. “You’re leaving that soon?”

You nod, biting your lip, and notice how Yeonjun had trouble putting his thoughts into words so you encourage him by caressing his cheek, nodding at him to let him know that it was ok to say whatever was on his mind; even if it didn’t make sense.

He rubbed his temple in agony before avoiding your piercing gaze as he spoke. “I thought I had enough to deal with when my dad died, but her confessing that she was capable of doing all the things she’s done felt even worse than my fathers’ death. This time it feels like I lost a real parent y/n. I don’t’ know how to move on from this…”

“And this is exactly why I’m not leaving,” you say getting up in a hurry as you frantically start looking for your phone.

He watched you a little startled at your sudden changed demeanor and got on his feet just as quick.

“Hey, hey, hey.” He grabbed your wrists, making you look at him. “What are you doing?”

“Finding my phone, I’m calling Mr. Davis. I’m canceling the whole thing.”

“No, you’re not.” Yeonjun’s tone was serious.

“You are going. You are going to take this once in a lifetime opportunity, and change history with your research do you hear me? You could help so many people with this. It’s your passion. Your dream. And you’re telling me you’re ready to drop all of that…because of me?”

You didn’t know what else to do other than nod. Yes. You were ready to drop it all for him, but Yeonjun just shook his head in disbelief.

“No, y/n. I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For saying what I’m about to say, but you’re not going to ruin your life like this. I won’t drag you down with me. I won’t ever let that happen.”

“So what are you saying?” you looked at him with teary eyes, your pupils darting back and forth before he let go of you.

‘I’m saying that…we need to hit pause on whatever this is.” He couldn’t believe he said this.

He really didn’t. And he felt instant regret as he watched your face crumble.

He wasn’t the only one with abandonment issues, because so were you.

He promised your dad that he’d never break your heart, yet here he was. In your living room, looking at you fall apart, and he was the cause of it all.

“I’m sorry y/n. I love you. I really do. That’s why I’m doing this,” he says as he cups your face in his hands. Tears were also starting to fall from his eyes by now, and you just stood there in his hold. Completely lost and frozen.

“Please don’t hate me,” he whispered as he buried his face in your hair to muffle his soft sobs. He wrapped his arms around you tightly, holding on to you one more time before he couldn’t anymore. He took the chance and kissed you once more. You let his lips ghost over yours before you pull away.

“I could never hate you Yeonjun.”  

Before you knew it, Wednesday rolled around.

It felt like only yesterday when you told your friends that you were leaving, and today you actually were.

Soobin helped you with your suitcase as the rest of them trailed behind you with long faces.  

They were all there to send you off, except for Yeonjun. He had to leave early to catch his flight back home to testify against Lita in court, and honestly, you were glad he wasn't here right now. Seeing him again after your tearful goodbye was something you weren’t ready for.

The timing of things was just incredibly wrong, and you wished you were able to support him throughout the whole legal process and emotional storm he had to go through back home but you couldn’t, and you both already made peace with it.

You were a single woman again. Leaving to live a different life at a new school.

You both decided it’d be for the better like this since both of you were going to walk different life paths from now on, at least for the next six months. It wasn’t certain if things would go back to normal upon your return in the future and that uncertainty is what hurt you the most.

With a heavy heart, you turn around to face your friends when you arrive at the check-in desk, and without a word, a big group hug is formed.

“We’ll miss you,” Hueningkai mumbles into the hug.

“Even I will.” Taehyun sighs.

You let go of them with a smile, knowing you have to put on a brave face for this to not turn into yet another emotional tear-fest.

“I’ll be back before you know it. And it’s not like I’m dying guys. There’s this thing called the internet. We can still see and talk to each other.” You chuckle as you nudge Beomgyu who was pouting at you and you wrap an arm around Taehyun who was standing next to you.

You avert your gaze from the boys and make eye contact with Soobin who wasn’t the best at concealing his emotions.

He pouted as he sniffed, wiping his eye.  

Mia chuckled. “Are you crying AGAIN?”  

“No. I have something in my eye.”

“Yes. I can see it.” Beomgyu says as he leans forward to look into Soobin’s eyes dramatically. “It’s a dust particle called little bitch.”

“Shut up.” Soobin huffs as he shoves the younger one away, and all of you burst into laughter.

Thank god for that moment of laughter, it took the edge off and made everything a lot less emo.  

You had a long talk with Soobin the night before when he helped you pack your stuff. The hard part was over with, though you could tell he was still struggling to let you go. But he knew that it was all for the greater good.  

You sighed as you walked up to him for a tight hug, and as you let go of each other you give Mia a smirk “Look after him for me will ya.”

“You know I will.” She smiles at you as she pulls you in for a hug as well, and suddenly it got really warm again as the boys wrapped themselves into the hug once more.

You giggle, looking at them one last time before you take a hold of your suitcase.

The check-in for your flight had started, and you were called to move in line.

“Bye guys.”  

You wave at each other as the distance became bigger and bigger, and when they were completely out of sight you’re able to breathe again.

You bite your lip, trying to suppress the urge to cry and run back to them. Run back to your safety net of the people you loved and cared for the most, but you knew you had to do this.

You were excited to start a new adventure, but you wished you didn’t have to sacrifice so much to be able to do it.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket as you sat at your gate, lost in thought while you waited to board the airplane.

Your eyes widen when you saw his name pop up in your notifications and quickly open your messenger app.

[Yeonjun, 10.43 AM]: Good luck on your new journey and have a safe flight. I wish I could be there to send you off but just know I’m thinking of you. Always.  

[Yeonjun, 10.44 AM]: Take care y/n. I love you.

Chapter 14 - The Finale  

[duskwoodgirl4life]

Chapter 18

Cleo opened the door to find Alan standing right in front of her, every emotion was going round her head. She thought he had gone for good but here he was standing right in front of her.

Cleo: A-alan y-your here but…"Cleo raises her hand and slaps Alan round the face leaving a red mark"

Alan: Okay I definitely deserved that Cleo. I am so very sorry for what I did, I am a coward. I ran away when things were so good between us. I let all the negative thoughts cloud my mind. I should have just talked to you but I didn't. I know I don't deserve forgiveness. I don't blame you either. I wouldn't forgive me either.

Cleo: I really don't know what to think you ran instead of talking to me, after everything we went through. I fell in love with you despite all the warnings from my friends. I let myself think I had a future with you. Hell I was even going to ask if you wanted to move in together but why bother. If I did what would you of done said yes moved in and then decide it's not what you want so you just fuck off and run leaving me.

Alan: I know I have no right to ask this but can I come in so we can talk

Cleo stood near the door for a moment thinking about what Alan asked, she moved to one side letting him inside the room.

Alan: Thank you. I thought about turning round so many times that day, I convinced myself that I was doing the right thing by letting you go. You deserve so much better than me I didn't want you to have a life with me where people would always stop and point after what I did to you.

Cleo: don't you think that's my choice to make? It's not for you to choose who I should be with. I picked you because I fell in love with you. I didn't wake up one morning and decide to fall in love with you. It just happened the more I came to visit the more I fell for you. Do you really think after what you did there is any chance for us now?

Alan: I had some time to think while I was gone, I talked to my physiatrist and she was the one that told me to let myself be happy and I'm so happy being with you. I let all my past mistakes take over and I've ended up ruining everything we have together.

Cleo: I don't know that I can do this with you what you did broke my heart, I've never felt pain like that before. I need some time and space to think I really don't know if I can trust you again.

Alan: I understand but I want you to know that I will never stop loving and caring about you Cleo. If I have to wait a lifetime for you to give us another chance then so be it we are worth fighting for. I will be back home in duskwood come by, call whenever you feel ready.

Alan pecked Cleo on the cheek and left her room, Cleo sat on the edge of the bed trying to take in everything that just happened. She needed to talk to someone. She pulled out her phone and thought about texting MC but she didn't want to spoil her time here. She scrolled down a bit and sent a text to Jessy asking if she could come to her room.

Cleo's POV

I can't believe he really came back here after everything he's put me through, he thinks he can just walk back into my life after leaving. I can't forgive him for this. He's broken my heart more than any other man has ever done. I sent a text to Jessy asking her to come to my room. I've been confiding in her while I've been here. I didn't want to burden MC with all this.

I hear a knock at the door and let Jessy sit and talk for what seems like hours. She knows how much I do care for Alan but at the same time she knows how much he's hurt me. She told me that if I do give him another chance then things need to change. I can't help but agree with her that things will need to change.

After a few more hours of talking Jessy leaves me to think things over, I am still not sure what I am going to do. A part of me wants to take him back but the other part is telling me to just move on. I think I need to put some distance between me and him for a while. I don't want to be tempted to fall back into his arms.

I think I will see if I can stay on the island for a few more days, I think it will do me good to have some space and time to myself. Jessy has been amazing at helping me with all this. I felt I needed to apologise to her for how I treated her. She knows she did wrong, she doesn't need me going on at her about it all the time.

I think it's about time I get out of this room. I've been cooped up in here for too long now, I want to go feel the sun on my skin, listen to the ocean and the birds singing. I want to say goodbye to MC and Jake before they leave. I'll explain everything to them once they get back from their honeymoon.

Alan's POV

I've just arrived back home it's still early so I decided to go for a walk and take in the fresh crisp air. On my way back I passed the coffee shop Cleo and MC hired new staff to take care of the business. Deciding to go inside and order a coffee before I make my way back home. The smell of fresh cakes being baked takes over my sense of smell. It's so inviting I can't help but smile. I order my coffee to go and make my way back home.

The town is starting to get busy with everyone making their way to work, some putting signs outside their shops advertising the day's special offers. Watching everyone make their way to where they need to be, watching couples kiss each other goodbye makes me think of Cleo. My thoughts bring her to the front of my mind. I remember the day we spent together just sitting outside my house talking while we decide what plants I need to pick up. I've always loved gardening. Cleo had so many amazing ideas I couldn't help but love them all.

I want all her ideas to become a reality so I decide first to freshen up as it's been a long drive. As I do sleep starts to take over my body I lay down on the bed and close my eyes. Sleep takes over my body and I am soon fast asleep.

Hours later I woke up when I looked at the clock. It was 4pm, wow where did the day go I must have been tired. I pull myself off the bed and go downstairs to make a coffee. I take a look in the fridge and there is barely anything to eat. I really should do some shopping. I need to get quite a bit. The store will still be open so I can go pick some stuff up.

After having my coffee I grab my keys and head out to the store, it was the perfect time to go as it was quite. I could peacefully walk around and not feel like I'm getting road rage stuck behind gossiping women. Now that I've got everything I need I got to the check out and pay for my stuff. My thoughts drift back to Cleo remembering that day we walked round the supermarket laughing and joking. I miss her so much why did I have to be a complete idiot and mess everything up.

It seemed to be something that followed me in life. ever I got anything worth hanging on to I would always find a way to mess it all up. I keep trying to think of ways to win her back to have her at my side. I know she told me she needs her time and space to think things through. I guess I will just have to let it be until she wants to talk. I don't want to pressure her into making the wrong choice.

Jessy's POV

I've just been to see Cleo. She told me what she plans to do so she can think things over. I really wasn't expecting her to confide in me but I know with MC just getting married she doesn't want to worry her. I never thought I would be the one giving relationship advice. All I do is ruin all the good things in my life. It was hard watching Richy and Astrid at the wedding.

Every part of me just wanted to go and kiss him but that would be a massive mistake. He's clearly moved on. I guess I should be doing the same. I can't keep pining over him for all my life Dan was looking very smart at the wedding. I didn't know he could clean up that well.

MC and Jake look so happy together. MC looked beautiful in her wedding dress, everything about that day was beautiful. I'm so happy for them. I hope I can be as happy as them one day. Thinking back to Cleo I really hope whatever choice she makes she does it for her.

[alecxaheart]

Falls At 4419 | Bang Chan Oneshot

✎ Genre : Strangers to Lovers AU, Fluff

✎ Pairings : Bang Chan X Reader

✎ Word Count : 2.1k words

✎ Synopsis : Who could've thought that your ride to love life starts at a bus stop.

✎ Requested.

You had the usual tiring daily routine for the rest of your life. Your weekday mornings start with your alarm clock greeting you "good morning" in the most annoying beeping way as possible. What a gentle reminder, too, to tell you that it's almost time for work.

" Work again? " you groaned at the thought, hands reaching out to the bedside table to turn off the alarm.  Once you did, you forced yourself out of the bed and start preparing for today.

You were completely exhausted due to the stack of work your boss gives you.

It's to the point that it made you sleep deprived, haggard or just messy in general. You don't even know if you ever managed to cover all of that, physically, with make-up. However, when it came to your words and actions, it's noticeable when one paid attention. It's a good thing that Ms. Han was blind to that, or else you'll be told that you're lacking and higher chances of you getting fired.

But aside from every negative thing about your occupation, so far your performances were praised by your co-workers. Salary has never been a problem, in fact, you've been paid higher than expected. Maybe it's from the plus being Ms. Han's pet-sitter — for the love of all things, it had to be a cat.

You're almost done preparing for work. With your feet taking a quick slip into your black heels, you're on your way out of the house. Clacking noises could be heard each time your heels meet the pavement.

As you were headed towards the bus stop, you felt something vibrating from your purse. Opening it, you found your phone ringing. The caller ID displays the name of your boss, Ms. Han. What could be the kind of good morning greeting I'll receive from her today?

You answered it and placed it to your right ear, immediately hearing your name. " Assistant (L/N) (Y/N)! " Ms. Han called out through the other line.

" Good morning to you too, Ms. Han. You have matters to discuss with me at this time? " You replied, stopping at your tracks as you've reached the bus stop. All you need to do now is wait for the bus and keep yourself together with whatever Ms. Han may throw at you.

" I'm assuming you've already done the project for today, " You hummed in response. There was sound of a slight slip from the other line, you assumed that Ms. Han was drinking tea. " Make sure to deliver that presentation well. After that, I want you to attend the board meeting this afternoon on my behalf. Send them my sincere apologies for I have other more important business matters. "

So much for being trustworthy..

" Noted, Ms. Han. " Your ride finally came. Once it opened it's doors, you hopped in and tapped your card at a machine.

" Also, fix this week's schedule. Cancel everything on Friday, " Ms. Han added. You ended up seating at the very end of the bus, beside the window. It just happened to be the only row of seats that's vacant.

" Got it, Ms. Han. Anything else? "

" Ah, right. After the board meeting, take care of Eliza, " Her cat – you should've seen that coming. " Don't worry about the ride to my house, my driver will be picking you up. " She continued, taking one more sip at her tea. The ride was never a problem, but her cat is. Nevertheless, you accepted it since you both needed the job and money.

It didn't took that long until the conversation finally ended. When she hung up, you deeply sighed and looked out of the window. Spring was almost over, the atmosphere started to get colder. The cherry blossom trees began to slowly wither, every petal that has fallen decorated the road and sidewalk. It was both exquisite yet melancholic. Could you ever compare yourself as a cherry blossom? To bloom all over again yet someday, you'll wither once again. Possibly.

As you were gazing outside, your eyes widened as you saw someone else's reflection who sat beside you. His airpods plugged in his ears as he bobbed his head to the beat. You never knew or felt that his presence is already there, not until right now.

He's the same guy you meet each day whenever you took this bus. To be honest, he's eye-catching ever since the first time you saw him. He had the usual black outfit. Curly brunette headed, tall nose, dazzling dark brown orbs, lips — Okay, let's stop fawning over him. In conclusion, he has very well defined facial features. It was obvious that he's one of God's masterpiece, many should've envied him with that.

Despite of him always being your seatmate when the seat next to yours is vacant, you both never conversed with one another. Even with him having an eye for you from the start, no one even dared to start one.

Although, maybe today's a bit different.

The bus abruptly stopped in its tracks as the stop light just switched to red. The driver groaned and scratched the back of his neck.

At the back of the bus, there's you who is silently staring at the window. Awfully close to the window. However, when the bus hit the brakes, your forehead bumped onto the glass. " Ouch! " You groaned in pain as you held your forehead, checking if it bled and to ease the pain. The curly brunette noticed this and paused the music he's playing on the phone. He shifted in his seat to face you, " Are you okay? ". Your eyes met his worrisome ones and it made your heart skip a beat. He's more dashing when he's this close to you. It also made you more timid towards him that you began to stutter, " I- I guess I'm okay.. ".

" Let me see, " He reached out to your hand that's covering your forehead. His hand accidentally touched the sore part in the process, causing you to wince in pain. He whispered an apology before carefully taking your hand off and scan your forehead. He sighed in relief, " Thankfully, it wasn't such a big impact but it did turn red. You can place ice or put an ointment on it as soon as you get off, ok? " You responded with small nod and smile, your heart melting at his kindness.

He carefully placed his hand on your head and light pushed it back, gesturing you to rest. You gladly complied and he smiled, showing his dimples. It was cute, you thought.

" Does it still hurt? " He asked.

" A bit but bearable, " You replied, closing your eyes.

" How about a small talk to distract you from the pain? "

" Sounds good to me. "

" My name's Chan, you? "

" The name's (Y/N). It's nice to finally know you, Chan. "

And that's how everything started to blossom, at the end of Spring.

After that day, you started to anticipate what's going to happen on the next days that you never complained about the annoying beeping clock at dawn ever again. Especially and specifically, on the bus. Your mornings now start with you enthusiastically getting up and preparing for work. Chan happened to bring more interest into your life.

You don't know what kind of sorcery Chan does to always know how to remove your stress or just to make your days better in general. However, you don't mind it. Instead, you're really thankful for it.

You blossomed more in Fall, like a cosmos flower. You bloomed while the rest withered.

You excelled so much at work. The company was at its rough times, yet you handled everything outstandingly that you were praised by the whole company. Even Chan was happy for you, which mattered to you most.

" I knew you were exceptional ever since the beginning, " He murmured while hugging you securely, smiling. You, too, smiled brightly and blushed at that.

It's not only you who blossomed this fall. Your love, too, bloomed in Fall.

You never knew that the potential crush you had for Chan back when he was just a seatmate at the bus would grow. You fell head over heels for his giggles, smiles, kindness, goofiness, just for him. It keeps getting stronger as more time passes that you couldn't control it anymore. This was a first ever since you started working. You never really paid attention to your love life since work was always in the way. You're foreign to this feeling, you're clueless on how to handle it.

This love is the most amazing feeling, you'd be honest. Yet you fear that you'll be rejected or wouldn't be loved back. Then love would be the worst feeling.

Although, your faith and hope will never be taken away from you until the day hasn't came yet, until there's a possibility. You'll keep hoping on his small gestures you'd like to think are hints. You'll put your love for him in the hands of faith. And with that, you became patient with him. Waiting for the time that the true feelings will start to unveil.

______________________________

찬의

Channie

Hey (Y/N)

Are you done with work?

Almost

Why do you ask?

I'll pick you up, ok?

I'm on my way there.

'That's first, yet weird.

But I don't mind.'

Alright, be careful

Seen 7:02PM

______________________________

A month has passed, you two grew closer than ever. Yet occassionally, there would be a hint of awkwardness between the two of you. One would act weirdly, stutter or get nervous around one another. You hoped that it wouldn't ruin your friendship. You valued this friendship more than anything else.

Heading towards the front doors of this company, you could see Chan's figure on the other side. Waiting for you to come out. Once you did, he turned to face you and greet you with a sweet smile. You smiled back. " Let's go? " He said as he offered you his hand. You nodded and timidly took it into yours. That's another first.

Both of you exchanged the usual conversation. Asking about each other's day, telling short stories, joking once in a while, then some comfortable silence here and there, it felt just right. It's already dark out, the city light and streetlights being the only source of light, while the moon is having the pitch black sky to itself. The streets aren't as busy as it was in the daylight. You could hear the rustling and crunching of autumn leaves as it was carried by the wind or getting stepped on.

The two of you eventually reached the bus stop, taking a seat as you wait for a bus. " Do you know the number that bus has? " Chan asked out of the blue, eyes boring on the street. You hummed in confusion, he chuckled. " The bus we always took, especially in the mornings. "

" Ohh.. To be honest, I'm completely unaware of that. " You answered, scratching the back of your neck. Once more, he chuckled then gazed at you while your attention was somewhere else. A bus was coming in your peripheral vision. Once it was in front of you, you scanned for it's number. At the very end, it's written..

" 4419, " You turned to Chan, only to find him staring at you with adoration. You two stayed like that for a few minutes. His eyes were so soft, looking ever so luminous and sparkling underneath the light. He took out a flower he plucked from earlier, placing it behind your ear. Not even tearing his eyes away from yours. " Beautiful, like a cosmos flower, " He whispered, but it was enough for you to hear it clearly. You've felt like you're continously falling, yet Chan still has his grip on you. The same grip when he first held your hand back when you've bumped your forehead on the bus. Loving, gentle yet firm. Telling that he's willing to fall with you. " I love you, (Y/N). "

With just those 4 words, you were filled with so much joy and shock. You froze on your seat. For a second you panicked on what's the right word to say, asking if an I love you too was enough or is it already too redundant.

Although you knew that Chan's anticipating an answer as the clock continues to tick, and waiting is dreadful. Chan will love and cherish anything you say to him. Just the thought of you being truly his will bring him genuine happiness, and that's enough. No need for further more explanations. Then you've came to the conclusion, that there's no other words that best describes your true feelings for him. Simple yet genuine, " I love you too, Chan. "

Now, a love fully blossomed at the end of Falls.

End.

[giorno-plays-piano]

Can’t Take My Eyes Off You

Pairing: Dabi x villain!Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, non-con, stalking, mentions of human experimentation, non-consensual drug use, lots of swearing.

Words: 1841.

Summary: Running away from the lab where you had been experimented on for years, you have no choice but to join the League of Villains to escape from the government. Of course, you don’t expect things to go smoothly, especially when one mutilated son of a bitch just can’t leave you alone.

P.S. I’ve suddenly remembered Rogue who had been my favorite character once; the heroine’s Quirk is partly based on her ability.

My dear @navegandoaciegas​, this is my first attempt at writing Dabi. Hope you’re going to enjoy reading it ❤

_________________

"Fuck, how much can you drink at once, birdie? Ain't you scared to pass out in a place full of men?"

Oh God, it was that smug bastard again. For the past couple of days Dabi couldn't get off your back for a full damn minute.

"Men? Here?" You opened your eyes and raised an eyebrow at the man whose face was right above yours as he leaned on the back of the couch where you laid. "I see just a couple of kids and one burnt corpse who can never fucking shut up."

"Oh? Wanna see how well can a burnt corpse fuck you up?"

Always up to a challenge. You rolled your eyes at his obvious display of hostility despite the fact he'd most definitely lose against you. Besides, Shigaraki would barely enjoy you two ruining the League's hideout, and upsetting that asshole ready to go berserk any moment certainly wasn't one of your priorities.

"Just go fuck yourself, would you? I'm not in the mood to bark at you."

"Well, then don't. I didn’t come here for that, actually."

This was something new. He suddenly became calm as you studied his grotesque mutilated face inches away from yours. Your expression didn’t betray any emotions either since you weren't shocked or disgusted by the way Dabi looked: you've seen worse in the laboratory, and repulsive things had long stopped looking repulsive to you.

"What are you here for, then?" You asked him, trying to remember if you finished that second bottle of sake or not. Since the time you accidentally got one of those useless Quirks, you couldn't get drunk anymore - now strong alcohol only made you sleepy.

"I've always wanted to ask why the fuck are you wearing these." Dabi pointed out to the black leather gloves laying on the coffee table in front of you, and you rolled your eyes again. One more useless question.

"In this team of no-brainers you're the last person I expected to ask me this question." Groaning, you moved up a little to take more comfortable position and stared at the man above you intensely.

"Don't you want to gather as many Quirks as possible? If so, why wearing gloves when you can only get a Quirk through touch?"

You were close to snapping at him, and it certainly made Dabi look even more smug.

"Who the fuck do you think I am, a garbage bin?" You barked wishing you could teleport the bastard somewhere to Hawaii. "I only take Quirks I need, and it isn't easy to find those in that damp of useless abilities regular citizens have. Besides, some Quirks are quite dangerous for their owners and I'd prefer them not existing at all. You, of all people, should already get that, Pretty Face."

He smiled at you, but you saw his hollow eyes sparkling dangerously at your last remark, and you felt his body emanating heat he could turn into his famous blue flames within a second. Nasty shit, that what's you thought of his Quirk. Who on Earth would want anything like that? You doubted anyone but a true psychopath could really appreciate something as fucked up as Dabi's ability to burn anything and anyone, himself including. You definitely didn't want to use his Quirk despite already taking it as almost all of those belonging to the League of Villains. It wasn't intentional, though.

"You'd better start watching your mouth, birdie. You ain't back in the lab." His smile grew wider as he saw your expression darkening at the mention of the lab.

Fucking son of a bitch. You bet he'd go insane during the first month being locked up there.

"Huh, calm down, dear. I think it's better we get along."

You sent him a glare wishing you could throw his overconfident ass out of the window. Dabi loved messing with fucking everyone, Shigaraki included, but he was still a valuable member of the team. Killing him would do you no good.

Showing him your middle finger, you put your head on the pillow and took the half-empty bottle of sake. Thank goodness you didn't finish it. You hoped Dabi would vanish by the time you were done.

You spent a few minutes in complete silence as the man kept leaning on the couch and watching you drinking while you did your best trying to relax. Why the Hell was Dabi stuck here with you? Didn't he have any other things he should be doing now? Was he here to get under your skin even more? Shit, you just wanted to be left alone. You wanted it since the time they brought you to the lab, but since then somebody had always been getting on your nerves one way or the other.

"Seriously, what do you want from me?" You grunted as you opened your eyes again and stared at Dabi's face. "You wanna take the couch or what? I ran out of sake if you're here for it."

There was that smug smile again. Saints, the guy had been creeping you out with his long intense stares for quite some time, but today he was even less bearable than usual. He definitely wanted something from you, and the feeling was making you uneasy.

"You wanna hook up, birdie?"

You thought you were gonna choke on air when you heard him saying that. What? Seriously? Did he hurt his head so bad last time heroes attacked? So, that was the meaning of those stares, then? He thought you were the one he could stick his dick in. Wincing from the thought like from a toothache, you squeezed your eyes shut. The guy was clearly mad.

"Are you out of your mind? Why would I want to hook up with anyone?" You huffed with irritation and realized Dabi was having way more fun than you.

"Don't tell me you're actually a virgin."

"You think I can be a virgin with the life I'm having?" You sounded more bitter than you thought you would, and the man above you chuckled. He was getting on your nerves more and more with each passing second.

"Then why not? Sex is a good way to relax. You certainly seem like you could let off some steam." You flinched when Dabi extended his hand to you, but he had only brushed of a lock of your hair out of your face. "I bet I can help you with that better than most of the team."

"Sex is painful, and I don't like pain. Go have fun with Toga, she seems more into that than me." You narrowed your eyes at him, your hand almost touching his neck if the villain decided he'd go further without your consent. His stupid grin going wider was making you more and more mad.

Of course, he wouldn't go to Himiko. That asshole had his own type, and she certainly didn't fall into that category. Why did you? You had no idea, but you doubted he would ever lay his hands on you. Yeah, you knew what sex was, and it had nothing to do with pleasure like in those stupid romantic novels you once bought. It was humiliating and painful. If you had a chance to get back to those who did it to you back in the lab, you'd rip their hearts out of their rib cages.

The expression on your face didn't seem to faze Dabi even the slightest bit, and you rolled your eyes in irritation. Apparently, he wouldn't give up unless you showed him you weren't some doll he could play with, and Shigaraki was probably going to get real mad at the both of you this evening.

All of a sudden you felt some strange tickling in your muscles you had never felt before. What was that? Confused, you quickly glanced over the room to see no one except Dabi still on his spot. What was that? Was it some hero's work? Had they found your hideout? No, it couldn’t be. You'd hear them, feel them before somebody even set their foot on your territory. It wasn't a hero.

Unwilling to wait for any surprises to happen, you used a regeneration Quirk, the one you were gifted on your 14th birthday so you could heal yourself after they ran the tests without troubling a healer too much. Strangely, the Quirk did nothing about the tickling, and you felt your legs getting weaker. What the fuck was that?

As you raised your head to ask Dabi for help, you suddenly realized he was eager to see what you were doing. He looked like he enjoyed watching you in such state, confused and even frightened, your knees slightly trembling as if you became weak within a couple of seconds.

It was him. He did something to you. The bastard had the nerve to do something to your body so it'd be easier to handle you.

"What have you done?" You hissed at him while he chuckled, pointing at the bottles of sake on the table. "Have you poisoned my drink?"

But the regeneration would work in that case. You knew for sure.

Running his finger around the shell of your ear, Dabi hummed with content, "Poisoned? Come on, who do you think I am, an Evil Queen? That's just a little handy potion that has a tendency to slowly accumulate in your body. Makes you a little softer, don't you think?"

Oh. Oh. That's why he was always watching you. He had no idea when the effects would start to show. Did he fucking realize it could happen in the heat of the battle when you needed your Quirks the most? Did Dabi have any idea what would happen if heroes managed to lock you away again?

"Seems like you planned to abandon me if heroes attacked, didn't you?" You gritted your teeth when Dabi got on top of you, his hands on your chest as he caressed your body like a lover would, his hot fingers getting under your clothes.

"Of course not. I'd play your personal hero and save your stubborn ass the trouble of murdering everyone."

While you desperately wanted to kick him off you came to realization you weren't able to even stand up, your arms and legs so weak you could barely move while Dabi had no problems stripping you out of your clothes, his hands on the your thighs as he took off your pants.

Shit, shit, shit. You couldn’t use any Quirks to hurt him, all of them barely responding to your call. What was that potion? Why nobody in the lab prepared you for this? How on Earth did that shithead obtain such a dangerous thing?

"If you hurt me, I'll rip your brain out of your skull and bring it to Shigaraki as a present."

His chapped, disfigured lips brushed against your neck almost gently when the man murmured, "It doesn't have to be painful, birdie. I'll show you how much fun we can have together."

___________________

Tags: @coolio-love @awesomerextyphoon​

[cocosstories]

Pete Davidson One Shot- Jr Writer Series 2

I would love an expansion or a separate writing of flirty Pete with jr writer where you and Pete are still “casually” hooking up and you catch him flirting with another writer/cast member/co worker. This causes a fight that eventually leads to you guys confessing you want more from the “relationship” I know it’s a one shot but it would be cool.

It had been three months since that first encounter with Pete in his dressing room and the two of you had gotten into a nice rhythm.

You weren't dating, just casually hooking up, pretty much every chance you got. It was fun and with you still being new on the job, you couldn't handle anything more serious.

One day as you were heading off to a writers meeting, you see Pete with one of the other junior writers. You think nothing of it until you get closer to them.

Playful laughs and subtle touches. Most people wouldn't think anything of it but you have seen it before. You know what Pete flirting looks like and that was definitely it.

You weren't jealous or anything. You just couldn't believe he was openly flirting with this girl right where everyone could see.

"Don't you have a meeting to get to?"

You say, giving a small look to the girl then a sharp glance to Pete who seemed a bit startled by your sudden appearance.

She says her goodbyes to Pete and makes her way to the writers room leaving you and Pete standing in silence.

You scoff and begin to walk off when he gently stops you and leads you down the hall to his dressing room.

"What the hell was that?"

He asked once the two of you were out of earshot of everyone else.

"Oh I'm sorry, didn't mean to interrupt your next conquest. Just so I know, are you planning on fucking all the junior writers on staff or just a select few?"

Anger was boiling up inside you as you spoke.

"Are you jealous cause I thought this was casual. I wasn't aware we were in a full blown committed relationship here."

You scoff and roll your eyes.

"Don't flatter yourself Pete. That's not what I was saying. I just think its a little unprofessional to be flirting out in the open like that."

You compose yourself a bit despite the fact that his accusations pissed you off.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm late for a meeting."

Before he has the chance to stop you, you walk out the door.

You heard nothing of what was being said during the meeting, your mind still on Pete's words from before.

Jealous? Why in the hell would you be jealous? Sure, you liked Pete. You had been attracted to him since the first time you saw him on the show but you didn't want anything more than what you currently had with him.

So why did him flirting with someone else bother you so much?

You tried to shake the thoughts out of your head and focus on what was being said but you couldn't.

When the meeting was over, you got up to head back to your shared office when the girl from before stops you.

"Hey, I had no idea you and Pete were a couple. I'm sorry. I'll leave him alone."

She says and walks away before you could correct her.

Your phone dings and you see a text from Pete.

'Meet me at the diner. 10 minutes.'

You sigh, grab your coat and head to the elevator.

The diner was packed with people but you finally spot Pete at a small table in the corner and make your way over to him, is taking off your coat and sitting down.

"Look, I don't want to fight. I overreacted earlier ok? I'm not really sure why either."

You begin before he can say anything. Pete looks into your eyes, trying to read you before he finally spoke.

"I know why. I know exactly why. The same reason why I would probably react in the same way."

You give him a confused look.

"And what is that reason?"

The answer was lingering in the back of your head but you wouldn't admit it. The truth is, you did want to be with Pete, you just weren't willing to take the chance of ruining what you already had by saying it. The sex was way too good for you to scare him off with the possibility of a relationship.

"I tried to tell myself I didn't want a relationship. That I didn't need that in my life right now but the truth is, Y/N I do want to be with you."

He finally confesses. You stare in shock for a moment before the memory of him flirting with your co worker comes back into your brain.

"Yeah, really seemed like it earlier. Planning on having this conversation with her later?"

The hurt in your voice was thick as you get up and leave the diner.

"Y/N! Wait!"

Pete follows you out the door and down the street, running to catch up with you.

"Listen, this afternoon, with Y/C/N was a mistake. I'm sorry you had to see that. Fuck I'm sorry I did it. I'm not interested in her. I want you. Only you."

You look away from him, not wanting him to see the full effect of his words.

"Tell me you don't want to be with me and I will walk away right now and never bother you again. Just please look at me."

He takes your hand as you slowly look up to meet his eyes.

"Y/N, do you want to be with me?"

Pete asks, eagerness fully evident in his voice.

"Yes."

The word came out so quickly you hardly realized you had said it. Your heart was pounding as he pulled you close and kissed you deeply.

It wasn't even close to your first kiss with him but somehow it seemed different and new all the same.

"So, girlfriend, you want to go back to the diner and get some food?"

He asks as the kiss ends and you giggle.

"Sure, boyfriend, sounds great."

Pete wraps his arm around your shoulder, yours wrapping around his waist as the two of you head back to the diner for your first official date.

[forget-me-not-s]

Spies at Work

Day 3 of Elriel Month

Word count: 1573

Content Warning: NSFW, minor injury, some mention of blood. 

Summary: Elain and Azriel used to know one another, when they were young and innocent. They shared a love so pure that even when life pushed them apart they kept loving each other. Life forced them to become ruthless, a deadly weapon to be used, tasked with spying for the ruling kingdom of Prythian. They wouldn’t meet again until a few years later when they both were tasked to spy and kill an enemy of Velaris. 

Elain woke up feeling like today would be an interesting day. Feyre had asked her to use her connections as a former spy to do some recon on a potential job. Velaris was being threatened by outside forces, and she would never deny her little sister anything, even if it meant going back to her dark side. It had been months since she left her night job, she had been injured during her last mission and Nesta and Feyre had begged for her to take some time off. That’s why Elain decided to do this, because if Feyre had asked this of her it must be really important. 

At the end of the day it would be some recon and not the actual job. Feyre had told her that Rhysand would send some of his men to do the actual killing if it ended up being necessary. She really liked her brother-in-law, but Feyre marrying into the ruling family of Velaris had meant a huge change in their lifestyle. She had been working as a spy for the government for years before Rhys had taken charge and now not only did she work for him, she also was part of his family. 

She had her knives already sharpened and only needed to strap them on her body alongside her concealed guns, and she would be ready to go. Once she arrived at her destination, she felt like the shadows had eyes, a chill ran down her neck, she wasn’t easily spooked but she knew someone else was in the room with her, but surprisingly she didn’t feel threatened, which scared her even more. Her training kicked in, she tried to act normal while her hand got closer to her knives, and when she felt someone behind her move, she let her knife fly home.

Azriel felt the knife before he saw it piercing his leg, normally he would have been able to  stop it but he was in shock, Elain was standing in front of him. He hadn’t seen her for more than 2 years, and he was blinded by her beauty, his memories didn’t do her justice, she was even more beautiful than he remembered. 

“Elain it’s me” 

“Azriel? Is that you?!” she said while throwing another knife this time she missed, hitting closer to his head than he was comfortable with.

“Fuck I’m sorry, are you ok?! What the hell are you doing in here?” Elain rushed to his side, her hands automatically went for his leg, where he was about to take the knife off. “Stop! Just let me take a look” she didn’t have any bandages on her so she broke a piece of her shirt to stop the bleeding.

“It’s ok, I shouldn’t have sneaked on you, I just… I had to see you again. Rhysand didn’t mention he was sending you” he couldn't help the grunt he let out when Elain pulled out the knife. 

“Wait Rhys?! You knew that I was working for him now?” Her hands were all over him, tying her ruined shirt to his leg. He couldn't stop the thoughts that were running free on his mind, the last time her hands had touched him, it had been in a more passionate embrace but even if she was the reason he was now bleeding, her touch was still soft and couldn't stop other parts of his body from taking notice.

“Yes I knew, once Rhys mentioned he was marrying your sister. I knew it would be a matter of time until we saw each other again” 

“But why didn’t you say anything before today?” she said in a trembling voice.

“I was deep undercover for a few years in Hyber, I just came back a few months ago and after those missions, I need a while to recover. I’m not 100% me, when I spent so long surrounded by darkness it is inevitable that some darkness stares back. I would hate me if I ever hurt you” he told her while he grasped Elain’s face, he couldn't help it, he had missed her. They still had a long way to go, but he would be forever grateful for his brother, as he made this reunion possible. 

“So after months of undercover Rhys put you also on the trail for Beron? Feyre mentioned he might send someone to help me but she never said your name” Azriel gasped as Elain gave him a kiss on the palm of his hand. Sending a chill down his spine.

“I don’t know why they wouldn't mention it but I’m in debt with Rhys, I’m finally holding you in my arms again” Azriel said while he gave her a soft kiss on her forehead. His arms holding her close.

“I have so much to tell you, I’ve missed you so much, the job wasn’t the same without you covering my back” she said moments before she kissed him, those lips would always be the death of him. He tried to keep the kiss sweet and slow but Elain took charge by slowly gracing his lower lip, asking for permission with her tongue and turning the kiss into a savage battle for dominion. 

“We’ll have time, I’m not letting you go any time soon” Azriel said laughing in between kisses. It had been so long since they last held each other, Elain’s hand were wreaking havoc on his hair as he traded kisses down her neck, making Elain whimper. “You will be the death of me” Azriel said while his hands graced her breast, Elain’s core melted at that voice, Azriel’s hands awakening feelings she had long forgotten they existed. 

Azriel scooped up Elain, looping her arms around his neck. “Hold tight,” he ordered her while he grabbed her tights and wrapped them around his waist, “and don’t make a sound or someone might hear us.” he continued kissing her, leaving a trail at the top of her breasts, one of his hands going in between her legs, making Elain see stars. She knew this wasn’t the moment or the place for this but she didn’t care, she had missed him, despite the years they had been apart their love had always been there. She had never stopped loving him, so if the universe decided to cross their paths again she would take this chance and never let him go. 

They had a long way until they could go back to what they had all those years ago, but she didn’t care, not right now. She wanted to make Azriel fall to his knees and ride him until they both screamed so hard that they would forget all those years they were forced to be apart. So she stopped their kisses and pushed him on the floor, being careful of his new injured leg, she sat on his lap, making both of them groan at the friction this position granted. Azriel immediately went for Elain’s shirt “This needs to go” he said, biting her where her neck met shoulder making her squirm. Elain’s hands were busy unbuttoning his trousers, Azriel chuckled “Someone is a little eager” he said while taking his own shirt off. 

“Stop it!” she said while grabbing his cock, Azriel groan could have been heard from miles away “Believe me love, I’ll always want your hands on me, I missed you so much” he thrust his hips making contact with Elain’s core, the friction so delicious that she couldn't contain her moan. They disposed of the rest of their clothes, she needed to feel him, without any barriers, she had been starved for his touch for so long. 

“We will talk about this afterwards, but I just need to feel you”, she said while she started grinding on his cock, his hands on her hips urging her along. Their moans the only sound that could be heard in the room overlooking their target home “Please” Azriel said as he took one of her nipples to his mouth, he had missed this, biting it while his other hand grasped the other, making Elain moan harder. Elain repositioned them in a way she could impale herself on his cock, both of them moaning at his entrance. Azriel held his breath as he waited for her to get used to the size of him but he didn’t have to wait long as Elain started moving her hips in a circular motion that made them both crazy, with every thrust her rhythm increasing taking them higher, the sound of sink on skin and their moans eoching in the walls making a symphony as they chased their climax. Azriel kissed her to stifle her moans, his hand touching her at the apex of her tights making her go over the cliff, Azriel joining her thrusts later.

They both knew this was a new beginning for their relationship, they had so much to discuss but for now they would keep making love and catching up on lost time.

This would be the first night of many to come, Elain and Azriel would reconnect while trading kisses and soft caress, their mission forgotten for now, but as they started to relearn their scars, they would become a team again, an unstoppable weapon against their enemies. Together they would become the eyes and knives of Velaris, ensuring the safety of their family and city. They would be once again partners in crime.

[goldenmaybank]

meant to be

(not my gif)

pairing: jj maybank x reader

summary: y/n has been in love with her best friend, jj maybank, for years and now has to watch him fall in love with another girl, who is a kook.

warnings: swearing and slight angst (?)

word count: 4k (it’s a long one) 

a/n: hi! this is my first imagine and i hope you like it. i know it’s a long one i just got carried away :)

2 years. 730 days. 17520 hours. 1051200 minutes.

that's how long i've had to watch the guy i'm in love with be with another girl. two long years of seeing them kiss, hold hands, cuddle, go on dates and anniversaries. all because i was too scared to tell my best friend that i loved him.

two years ago

" yo, y/n ! y/n ! guess what just happened." my best friend since we were kids, jj, said as he ran up to me.

"what?"

"you remember that girl, shay, that i was telling you about? that kook that i met at the kegger last weekend with the long blonde hair, green eyes, slim waist, and fat as-"

"yes, yes. jj i remember." i said cutting him off from finishing his sentence.

"so, i just asked her out and guess what? she said yes!" he said with the biggest smile on his face.

"okay."

"okay? that's all i get? an okay? y/n, this is the hottest kook i’ve ever seen that we're talking about here."

"yeah and last week kate was the hottest kook and the week before that was penelope. this is nothing new j. it's just another pretty girl with big boobs and a nice ass that you'll mess around with for a few weeks maybe even days and then move onto the next girl."

"no y/n, this time is different. it feels different."

"mhm sure" i say not convinced

this is what jj does. he meets a cute kook girl or touron at one our parties, they hook up for a few days or weeks, and he moves onto to the next one. this was no different. however, in that moment, i didn't realize how serious he really was about her until it was too late.

few months after

jj and i were laying on john b’s couch watching movies like we always do every friday night. we've been doing this since we were little kids, usually the rest of the pogues would join us, but they’re all busy tonight. john b is with sarah, kie is working, and pope is helping out his dad. so that just leaves me and jj together.

"um, y/n?"

"hm?" i asked in response

"would you mind if i ended our movie night a little bit early?"

"why?"

"because shay just got off work early tonight and wants to hang out. she's been really busy lately, so we haven't gotten the chance to hang out as much. would you be okay if i left to go see her?”

"um, sure. i guess i can just rewatch friday the 13th again without you."

"really? you're the best! thanks." he said jumping up excitedly to put on his shoes and grab his hoodie, " i mean it's not like we haven't watched this a thousand times already, you'll be fine without me."

"i kinda wanted you here, but i guess she's more important" i mumbled under my breath

"huh?"

"n-nothing. uh, j can i ask you something before you go?"

"yeah sure, but it can't take too long shay is waiting for me."

"are you serious about her? like really serious?"

"yeah, i guess i am. i don't know i've never really felt this way about a girl before. she just makes me feel so happy and i always want to be around her and spend time with her. i usually just get bored with girls after a while and break up with them, but it's different with her. it's something about her i can't explain it." he said with admiration in his eyes.

that's when i knew it was too late. i could see the way his eyes lit up when i mentioned her and how he talked about her with such admiration. he was head over heels for this girl and who am i to step in and ruin it by telling him my feelings. he wouldn't reciprocate those feelings anyways she's the only girl he's felt like this about. i never had a chance against her. i will never be her.

after that day i didn’t see jj for three weeks. he cancelled every single one our plans because of her. “i cant go surfing today, shay wants to go get lunch” “can’t go fishing, shay needs me” “cant make it to the boneyard tonight, shay wants to have a movie night” he bailed on us, on me, all week because of her. the kook girl he just met a few months ago. 

finally, after countless begging and excuses jj came to hang out with us at john b’s house. we were all laying on the hammocks outside watching the sunset and for a minute it felt like everything was how it used to be even though i knew it wasn't. you could feel that everything was different especially between me and jj. he wasn't his usual flirty, touchy self with me and the tension in the air was thick. the rest of the pogues tried to act like everything was normal, but we all knew after today it would be another few weeks before we saw jj again. all he did was hang out with shay and he barely had any time for us anymore.

“so, jj since when did you start dating kooks?” john b snickered as jj punched his arm

“since when did you start dating at all?” pope replied

“i don’t know, man. it’s just different with her, i guess. i never thought i could be capable enough to have a relationship, but she changed that. she changed me.” 

kie looks at me with sympathy in her eyes. she was the only one who knew about my love for jj. i spent so many nights crying to her about my feelings for him and how i wish things could be different between us. it took a lot to get jj to open up to me, especially about his dad, and i always wanted to be the one he could go to for anything. i was the one who patched him up after a fight with rafe, i was the one who hugged him as he cried to me about his dad, i was the one who went along with his crazy ideas, i was one who did everything i could to get him to love me the way i love him. but i guess things don’t work out the way you want them to. i give kie and a nod and smile letting her know i’m okay. as long as jj is happy that’s all that matters to me. i would do anything to make him happy, even if it means i have to watch him fall in love with another girl.

present 

6 years. 2190 days. 52560 hours. 3153600 minutes.

that's how long the love of my life has been with his girlfriend. six long years of me trying to get over him and find someone else yet i could never get that boy with blonde hair and blue eyes out of my mind. he followed me everywhere i went even when i wasn't with him. he's everything i want in a guy yet i can't have him because he's not mine to have. he's someone else's and now i definitely can't do anything about it because they're getting married today.

today is their wedding and of course they invited me and the rest of the pogues. i debated even going and just letting kie give them my present with my pathetic excuse for why i wasn't there, but after talking to jj about the wedding the other day i couldn’t not go. "i could never have my wedding without you there, y/n. you're one of the most important people in my life." is what he told me. if i was strong i wouldn't care and still not go, but i'm not. all i had to do was look in his eyes when he told me that and i was puddy in his hands. there's no way i can't go and let him down like that. he means way too much to me to hurt him just to spare my own feelings. 

i walked into the venue looking around at the setup. of course the kook princess wanted a fairy-tale wedding. i sigh as i look at all the expensive decorations everywhere. i always imagined what my wedding with jj would be like. definitely wouldn’t look anything like this. even after years of all my hard work and schooling i still could never afford something like this. i always thought we’d have our ceremony by the beach since that’s where we first met when we were little kids and spent all our time together. it became our little safe space to get away from everyone and all our problems, and just be together. just me and jj. 

“gotta admit it looks beautiful.” pope says as kie hits his shoulder

“it’s okay, kie. he’s right, it is beautiful. more than i could've ever given him.”

“hey” kie says as she grabs my hand, “you sure you’re okay? because we can leave right now. trust me, i really don’t care to see the little princess wearing a dress that costs ten times the amount of my house.”

“it’s fine, kie. we have to be here for him. i’m just gonna go talk to jj quickly.”

“okay, i’ll save a seat for you.”

i went towards the back to find where jj is, so i could give him something before the ceremony started.

"knock knock." i say as i opened the door to jj’s room walking in to see him finishing getting ready.

"hey you. i almost thought you weren't gonna come."

"now why would i miss my best friend getting married to the girl of his dreams? i would never miss this no matter what"

"good because i know i would never be able to do this without you here."

"so.." i say as i sit down next to him, "how does it feel to finally be getting married?”

"it feels unreal. i never thought this day would come. and if it did, i honestly thought you would be the one standing at the end of the aisle"

"yeah, so did i" i say as i laugh weakly.

"i remember we had this whole thing planned out as kids. we were gonna get married on the beach, preferably the bahamas, but you know any beach would’ve worked for us. 

"and we were gonna have this huge reception and have our friends give sappy speeches talking about how we've been friends forever and despite the “no pogue on pogue macking” rule we still ended up together and got married." i added.

"and our honeymoon was gonna be in mykonos. we were gonna get a suite with a pool and relax all day and then turn up at night at the clubs there." he said as we both laughed.

"wow. we had a lot of plans when we were younger."

"we really did, but i guess none of them really worked out huh?"

"i guess not"

we sat in silence for a moment thoughts both roaming our minds about how we ended up here. best friends since we were little, spent all our time together, always acted like a couple, and yet here we are sitting in this room minutes before he gets married to a girl who isn't me, a kook nonetheless. it's now or never. do i let him know how i feel and finally have this weight lifted off my shoulders or just keep it to myself and let them be happy?

"uh, j? i- um, wrote this letter for you" i say as i take an envelope out of my purse, "it was the original speech that i wanted to tell you at the reception later but felt as though it wouldn't have been right to say, so i just wrote it for you to see. just, don't open it in front of shay, please."

"why can't you just tell me what's in the letter in your speech later?"

"because i would be a shit person if i say what's in that letter at your wedding reception in front of everyone."

"what's in the letter that's so bad?" he asked confusingly

"j-just read it when you're alone, okay?"

"no"

"no?"

"no. just tell me now what's in the letter."

"jj, i-i can't."

"yes you can. what's so bad that you can't tell me now?"

"i don't want to overstep my boundaries or ruin anything or make anything awkward, so just read it later when you're alone."

"no, y/n. tell me right now."

"jj, your wedding starts in a few minutes you need to finish getting ready. we don't have time for this."

"yes we do. i always have time for you."

"jj-"

"no. i'm not leaving this room until you tell me."

"j, don't be difficult."

"i'm not being difficult just read me the letter and this will all be done with"

i sighed, "oh my god fine. i'll read you the damn thing." i take a deep breath and begin to read the letter that might just change everything between us.

"dear jj, i'm not sure when exactly you'll be reading this, but i know when you do you'll be happily married to shay. so, congratulations best friend you're finally someone's husband. i honestly never thought this day would come; you were never one for relationships. always thought it was too much work to handle and you already had enough shit to deal with in your life. remember when we were little we made a promise that if neither of us were in a relationship by the time we were 30 we would get married. as silly as it was i always thought that would happen. that we would be the ones getting married and have our best friends write a speech for us. i'd always imagine kie writing mine and john b and pope would write yours, mainly pope though because we all know he’s way better with words than any of us ever were. but i never once in a million years would think i would be writing one for you and another girl. we've been through so many ups and downs and we still stuck together through it all. you're my best friend and i love you. words can't even describe how much i love you. jj, you've brought me so much happiness and never fail to put a smile on my face. even during my worst times you were always there to pick up the pieces and make me laugh. i never thought i would have someone in my life who means so much to me as much as you do. being around you immediately makes my day a hundred times better and i don't know what i would do without you in my life. my life would've probably been extremely boring and plain without you and your crazy adventures. your smile can make anyone's day better and you always make sure everyone else is happy even before yourself. and that's one of the many reasons why i'm in love with you. yes, i'm in love with you and have been for a while. this is more than a just as friends thing. i'm completely and utterly in love with you and that's never gonna change. and i know it took you a while to believe that someone could truly love and care for you, but i always have and always will. you so deserve so much than life has given you and i hope you know how amazing you really are. i’ve become such a better person because of you and you make me so incredibly happy. i'll never be able to repay you for everything you've done for me. i love you so much. i hope you're happy in your marriage and she treats you right, which i know she does. all i ever wanted was for you to be happy even if it wasn't with me. even though i just dropped this huge bomb on you, please don't let this affect our friendship. i will always be here for you no matter what. i love you, jj maybank."

there was complete silence. jj just sat there staring at the wall not saying a word.

"see this is exactly why i didn't want to tell you in person because i knew this would happen. i-"

"you love me?"

"yes, j i do."

"like actually love me?"

i sighed, "yes and i have for a while as i said in the letter"

"w-why didn't you tell me?"

"i don't know i was always so scared to and i thought you would never really find someone, so i had nothing to lose by not telling you. and then you started dating shay and i could tell you were really happy with her and by the time i realized you two were serious it was too late. i didn't want to step in and ruin anything or lose our friendship."

"you wouldn't have."

"what?"

"you wouldn't have ruined our friendship because i felt the same way. i still feel the same way." jj admitted

"you, what?"

"i love you y/n and as more than just friends. i have since freshmen year of high school when i first told you about my dad and you cleaned up all my cuts and held me in your arms all night. but i was just always too scared to say anything because i thought you were out of my league and i never really deserved you. the only reason i was with all those girls was to forget about you and get rid of my feelings for you, but they never did go away."

"i guess we're both stupid then. we always had these feelings for each other and just never said it."

"i guess so."

"so, what does this mean for us?"

"what do you mean?" jj asked

"i mean this obviously changes things, so what are we gonna do?"

"i don't see why things have to change. yeah we admitted we have these feelings, but that doesn't change anything."

"you're getting married, jj. in like twenty minutes there's gonna be another girl waiting at the end of that aisle for you to go there and give yourself completely to her. and i don't want to stand in the way of giving you and her that happiness you both deserve. me still being here is gonna change things because things are different now whether you want to believe it or not. these feelings are out there and they're still relevant. and i'm not gonna sit here and watch you two be happy and in love and be on the sidelines and feel like shit. i don't deserve that. i don't deserve to have my heart broken seeing you together knowing you have feelings for me and yet i can't do a damn thing about it. and it's not fair to her either to have another woman who you have feelings for sit there and get in the way of her happiness. i'm not gonna ruin this for her, jj. i won't. shay has been nothing but sweet to me and i'm not gonna do that to her. she doesn't deserve it and neither do i."

"so what do you want me to do then?"

"i want you to let me go."

"what? y/n, i love you. you can't tell me to do that"

"let me go, jj. as long as you sit here and tell me that you love me and have feelings for me, this will never end. and we will be going around in circles and i've been stepping on eggshells long enough for you and i'm done. you love her and she loves you, so be happy with her."

"but i love you too y/n and that's never gonna stop." he says with tears in his eyes.

"i know and i will always love you too, but i can't keep doing this. i can't watch you be with her and not be able to do anything. i can't be able to be alone with you knowing how you feel and not do anything to you. you don't know how badly i've just been wanting to kiss you after hearing you say those words to me. you don't know how bad i want this, but jj i can't do this" i say tears running down my face.

"i'll end it then. i'll cancel the wedding and we can be together."

"no. no, jj you can't do that. i'm not gonna ruin this. you've been with her for six years already, you've created this beautiful relationship and commitment to each other and i'm not just gonna ruin that. she's doesn't deserve that. you just need to let me go, jj. let me get over you because the more i'm around you the more the feelings grow. just let me find happiness within someone else.”

"so what? we're just gonna end our friendship? our years and years of friendship is over just like that? i don't want to lose you. if i cant have you in that way, even though i want to so badly, i still want you in my life as a friend."

"but i can't jj. i can't be around you. please, just let me go. let me get over you and find someone else. maybe one day if it's meant to be we'll find our way back to each other and maybe things can work out differently but for now just let me go." i say as my voice breaks

he sighed, "fine, i'll let you go, but only if you do one thing for me."

"what is it?"

"kiss me."

"w-what?"

"kiss me. i've been waiting years to tell you how i feel about you and finally be able to hold you and kiss you, so please just let me do it."

"jj, i don't know" i say hesitantly

"shay never has to know about this and once we kiss it's over. i'll let you go."

"if i kiss you, you'll let me go?"

"yes."

i sighed looking at jj. i actually got a good look of him right now in this moment. he looks so broken. dried tears streamed down his face, his eyes are puffy, and nose is red, but yet he still looks beautiful. no words can describe how jj looks. "cute" or "hot" never did this man justice. he was beautiful both inside and out and that's why i fell in love with him years ago. and as i started to lean it looking in his eyes all the memories we've made together came flashing through my mind all at once. this is really it. after this i'm actually leaving my best friend, who's the love of my life, to move on with my life.

moments later i felt his soft pink lips mold against mine. our lips moved in sync in such a way i have never felt with anyone else before. there was something about the way his lips moved against mine in such a passionate and loving way that i've never felt before. my stomach was immediately filled with butterflies and my mind went blank. all i could do was be in this moment with him. a few moments later it ended leaving both of us breathless. we stared at each other in awe not knowing a simple goodbye kiss would make us feel this way.

"wow. i've been waiting for this kiss for so long and i never knew it would feel like that." jj said

"neither did i.”

as much as i didn't want to, i knew what had to be done next. i stood up grabbing my bag and walked towards the door.

"so this is really it? you're just leaving now. after what we just felt in that kiss you're still gonna leave?" jj asked

"you know i have to."

"no, you don't have to. you want to, there's a difference. but it’s fine you’re just gonna leave just everyone else does, huh?”

don't turn back now. i know what he’s trying to do. he knows how the last thing i ever wanted to do was leave him like countless of other people in his life have done. but don’t let his words get to you. don't turn back now. the decision is already made. if i go back now i'll never leave and end up in the same cycle again.

i turn around one last time to look at my best friend, "i'm sorry. goodbye, jj."

that was the last time i saw jj.

after that i left the venue without saying anything to anyone. i got a ton of calls from kie, pope, and john b asking me where i was. i know they all eventually found out how i felt about him, which sometimes makes me wonder how he never knew, but then again i'm pretty sure they knew he had feelings for me too and i still never noticed. it's crazy how that happens. you could spend every moment of every day with someone and still be so oblivious to how they really feel about you. i guess i was just so caught up in my feelings for him i never noticed all the signs he showed of liking me back.

they always say what’s meant to be will be no matter how long it takes whether it's a day, a month, or a year. well i never really believed in that until now. years later after i walked out of that room, now stood face to face with the guy who was and still is my everything.