#and she was talking about how she thinks im a really calming influence on the teeny terror

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

;-; I just got such a sweet message from someone at work I really respect about how I interact with the kids and its made my day honestly

[skunkes]

ok detailed surgery experience

i made this schedule (?) of the major events as soon as I left while I cld still remember (and still kinda forgot!) i like knowing the Times of stuff so I asked my dad to take note of Times for me, and tried to ask for the time where i could

surgery I got was a laproscopic bilateral salpingectomy, full removal of the fallopian tubes only!

Misc details off of dis, obviously TMI territory as its a medical procedure.

The second blood draw (they took blood from me yesterday tooooo) hurt less and more somehow. Nasty nasty bruise forming.

IV really was the worst part of it ! I'd get weird throbs of frustrating pain long after it was in

I was given compression stockings that went right up to my crotch. Your toes stick out, and they put hospital socks over your feet. Some additional compress wraps were placed above my knees.

Pre op/prep didnt take too long at all. I know I have it listed as over an hour of waiting, which always made me nervous to read in other people's experiences, but it doesn't really feel like waiting. The TV helps pass the time, as do the people who are with you if any, and the nurses popping in with help or instructions or updates. The prep room was small and the bathroom was next door. The double doors open to wheel you out. Remote was given toe to control the TV and also call the nurses via a speaker.

The nurse who wheeled me in was nicest, she pronounced my name Correctly and was also really funny and friendly...

In general I knew this surgery was going to go well because I was actually able to fall asleep last night. I've stayed awake/tossed and turned for events far less stressful. Dis was also due to part of it kind of not feeling real for me! And being wheeled into surgery room added to that! It didnt feel real, it felt like watching one of many scenes from medical media of the same point of view.

I did start quaking and shaking once in the surgery room (also small, I did not look around much in fear of it making me panic last minute!)

They had me scoot from the prep bed to the surgery table. There was a pink foam headrest for me to slot the back of my head into. They strap you in with arms out like ur being crucified and thats when it became more Real for me so i started shaking a lot, but I can't tell how bad it was under the heavy blankets. I think I shook more and for longer when I went for my MRI (which also isnt/wasnt scary but the body freaks out for no reason). Im surprised at myself for being so Calm ykwim

Anyway, strapped in, had monitoring stuff stickered onto my body: my sternum, side of body under chest/armpits, and another pair I cant remember where. Hair was put up in hair net. My hospital gown was untied as the tie starts halfway across your body and goes under, but this was not done in an invasive-to-privacy way, and I was still fully covered by it (and then recovered by blankets)

(3 separate people asked me how many kids I had throughout this whole venture, and were Shocked at my response. This was the other most nerve wracking part as I started to get weirdly anxious that someone wouldn't like this and cancel my surgery or something. One of the Askers was the anesthesiologist.) Doctor/surgeon came in and asked if i was ready and talked about how he loved being under anesthesia LOL. Everybody was speaking about their opinions about childbirth and sterilization and parenthood, but amongst each other and not to influence my decision, along with telling each other to set up XYZ. Once again everybody is charmed by Cheye's usage of the word "yay"

Ive never had surgery before, so I was worried about anesthesia. In my mind i was imagining it to be being fully lucid and then your vision darkens and takes you, which was scary to me like i dont wanna be freaking out and then immediately KNOCKED out!

But it was gradual which actually made it more calming for me...the funny nurse put the oxygen mask over me, I got very nervous bc she said to take deep breaths and honestly i couldnt even breath much at all in it, and breathing out also felt very restricting and like I was going to choke, but it wasn't Distressing. I just breathed slowly and it worked anyway.

In a few seconds I felt a cool tingle in my arm that then sort of burst into my torso, and my whole body felt really light and my eyelids draggggggged half closed, but it felt very mechanical and involuntarily (like slowly closing window blinds...or like how the brightness options on a 3DS are numbered buttons ykwim? Like, Closing 1, Closing 2, Closing 3, Closed Halfway, all pressed in quick succession). Heavy heavy heavy. I stayed in that half closed state for a while! (Probably not even a full minute, but it also wasn't instant...i still had time to think and Hear conversation etc, as well as feel that there was some mechanical thing tightening around my spread arms along with the hand adjusted straps)

The funny nurse was telling me to relax and have sweet dreams and that they wld take care of me and such. And then I was out. I do not remember my vision fully fading or eyes fully closing, in my mind they stayed in that half closed state.

Ive heard ppl say it feels like blinking and waking up, but it did feel like sleep to me!!!! I know dreaming under anesthesia isn't really a thing, but waking up felt like....i was really waking up like normal and trying to remember traces of a dream after several hours of sleep.

I always thought it was silly seeing ppl ask if the surgery was over when they come out of it, but I did that. But like i swear it came out involuntarily??? Like i knew it was over....i think it was because I couldnt really SEE anything when i woke up, I could only hear staff speaking to me, and I can barely remember what they said. Vision was VERY very blurred. So I guess that question came out as substitute for Where Am I, and Who's Here With Me? Speaking felt like when audio unsyncs from a video, with my voice trailing far behind my words. I also remember being really bewildered bc there was some sort of residue on my lips, like when they're chapped and dry and cracking. I learned later this was bc of the intubation but i Didnt Know That Yet so i was just scared and thirsty.

Adding another "pain was less bad than the average period which has one Doubled Over" statement to the pile. Pain was at 3/10 or 4/10, which is to say if period pain is a whole abdomen event, this pain was small little bruises occasionally being brushed up against, just small throbs of sore pain in the 3 incision spots. I got an incision inside my belly button and that was the most present sensation, but that might also be bc I hate anything having to do with that area in general 😭 always feels weird.

My throat felt very DRY. It wasn't pain yet, it felt like when you're thirsty + dehydrated and your lips stick together at any slight moisture, but in the throat. Kept trying to look around and wiggle my fingers and toes in hopes that'd help me Come Out Of It sooner bc not being able to see was really frustrating me. I could not make out the face of the person watching over me for some time. I really wanted water !

HORROR when the person looking over me said i had a catheter still in me. Nightmare I wasnt counting on actually happening and wasnt mentally prepared for. I was told I would have one placed (make sure to ask if this is a concern for you!) but i thought they'd take it out before I woke up... I cldnt even feel it in me when I was told this! Which is good.

The staff of course had to remove blankets and open my gown a bit to access the area. But I did not feel any distress about this at the time.

Had a very funny slow motion distress response bracing self for removal. It did not hurt or sting at all, it just felt like [something I cant describe here]. Just pressure! It was pulled out gently but quickly of course.

After 1 hr i was wheeled to a separate private recovery room. The nurse uncovered my lower area to check if incisions were doing good so far as well as to check if I had been provided with a pad/underwear, as some patients have blood or other fluids come out as a result of the surgery.

parents came in, was so grateful for juice but in dismay over my food item being orange (i dont like citrus flavor) jello (i dont like jello 😭) i consumed all of both.

I also worried I'd feel weird about throwing my body parts away. But I dont feel anything ^_^ just feels very awesome and natural

Sore throat started further developing. Nurse came in after some time here, taught me how to Get Up. Was scary! I was worried about it hurting, but it was just more soreness.

Was able to go to the bathroom, went a very little bit but it was enough. I was very scared about seeing my incisions and being disgusted by them....but I caught a glance and it was Okey Yey. They are covered in surgical Glue and dont look gnarly, swollen, red or anything they look very cool ^_^ got dressed in stages as there was nothing to set clothes down on and sat back down on the bed. The bathroom connected to another room where somebody else was preparing for surgery.

Nurse came in with final post op instructions, upon describing nausea to me my skin got cold, stomach activated and krusty krab exploded with it. She was just barely able to get me a bag to throw up in. This exacerbated the throat pain. She encouraged me to get it all out especially since I also expelled gas, which is a good thing.

IV removal didnt hurt! Same level of pain as the tape around it being yanked off. I couldn't even tell it was over. I was wheeled out of the hospital. ^_^ i wore an oversized dress my sister lent me, and cheap target sandals so I wouldnt have to bend to tie shoes. My dad pulled up the car right outside. I brought a pillow to be a barrier in between the seat belt and my stomach.

Its 6:48 neow and I am laying down, but the pain is (currently) the same. I had another nausea (and release. Also exacerbated throat pain.) spell (while in walmart picking up the pain meds), was boiling alive in my very hot room, and was a bit dehydrated which may have contributed to some misery and nausea but as of right now I'm ok, i changed into lighter clothes, drank water, ate a bit, and situated self in a room with ac....i worry about getting up and becoming nauseous again 😭 i hate throwing up.

People are right about it being more discomfort than pain! You have to walk around every few hours, and it doesnt hurt but every step feels like my bellybutton is kinda pinching inward. Being tugged at from the inside. Ive gotten to a point where even chuckling makes me feel this very Sour soreness (not regular dull soreness) so maybe ill start the meds soon if necessary.... Squatting to sit doesnt hurt in a debilitating way, neither does actually sitting or putting on/stepping into clothing.

I couldnt nap because laying on my side doesnt hurt the incisions or anything, BUT its just the strange discomfort again. The weight of gravity on the body makes the incision sites feel very very weird in an abstract way i cant describe. It isnt pain. It feels like a mismatched sensation of some sort. Like if you touched your nose and somehow felt the touch on your knee. Adjacent to this. A very specific sensation sits in all the incision sites and drags down through your mattress to the ground and it feels Weird.

If you get up properly it really doesn't hurt to do so! Use your leg to get yourself fully onto your side, then use your arm to push yourself up into a sitting position.

I am very nervous from when all the good strong hospital meds wear off t_t i heard the day after is a struggle because of dis. but ive got the prescribed pain management on hand (extra strength ibuprofen and tylenol with codeine!! O_O) neow at least ^_^;

OH, AND THE DOCTOR TOOK FOTOS OF MY INSIDES LIKE I ASKED! ^_^ 🫶 I have glossy printed souvenir now! I dont exactly know wtf im looking at but its awesum LOL maybe i will ask for details at the follow up!

[yanderes-galore]

Hi! If you don't mind, can i send in my request early? I'm too sleepy and I don't think I'll be awake for long. I know you have a bunch of early requests already so im sorry ":c

May I request a yandere concept for Kokomi? She's from Genshin Impact. Thank you! ^^

I've been returning to this request for months and for some reason I've been struggling. Hope I got something good down U-U Unfortunately I think she's a character who's victim to Inazuma's rough pacing.

Yandere! Kokomi Concept

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Heavy manipulation, Overprotective behavior, Isolation, Dubious companionship/relationship.

Kokomi is usually someone who keeps to herself.

She's always been an introvert and has to balance that with being a leader.

Many look up to Kokomi as a leader during the rebellion and she has a strong influence on her people.

Divine Priestess is a stressful role for her, so is being the leader of a rebellion... as such she ends up taking time for herself to stay out of duties for a little while.

She's a skilled tactician and often likes to read.

Reading is a favorite hobby of hers... and her choice of books tend to relate to being a tactician.

She cares for her soldiers dearly and takes her duties seriously, even if she doesn't want to do them.

Kokomi's obsession would most likely be a close friend of hers...

Her behavior is also subtle as she isn't really a warrior.

She's a leader, she's charismatic, she would care for you and be a subtle force in your life.

Kokomi isn't really one who wants to influence her people's lives.

So her behavior towards you is ironic.

She may not even fully realize it when it comes to you.

While Kokomi enjoys her alone time, you are one of the only people who know of her secret spots.

In fact, Kokomi feels quite calm when you two silently read beside one another.

Your presence is the only exception to her.

Due to being a close friend who has most likely even helped her in the war with the Shogun, you never bring up duty with her.

You know it would only stress her out.

She appreciates that.

Kokomi cherishes your happiness and safety.

She's often so stressed with her role...

But you feel so relaxing to be around, you allow her to let loose and not feel as stressed.

Occasionally I can see her worrying about you.

Which may be what feeds her unintentional behavior.

Kokomi often wants you close by, especially when planning.

She's fond of your comfort and having you close allows her to know how you're feeling.

Even when she's stressed about meetings or talking to her people, having you near helps.

One good thing about Kokomi is she isn't a very demanding yandere.

She isn't intense or too dangerous.

So she isn't a yandere who'd coat herself in blood for you just to have your attention.

No, from my analysis of her character, she's too calm and caring for that.

She'd be hard to detect, definitely an influence in her obsession's life but hard to notice.

You two could have a healthy bond in your eyes where you view her as a good friend and wonderful leader.

Meanwhile she's carefully planning how to keep you by her side.

As shown in canon, she's an excellent planner.

So you could be isolated and not know it.

Kokomi doesn't seem like one to plot murder or kidnap... in the traditional sense, at least.

I feel that's what makes her a difficult yandere to write for me.

She'd be so subtle... She doesn't fit the traditional archetype.

However, that could make her scary in her own way.

The fact you don't know you're being manipulated?

You don't know Kokomi is bad for you?

That in itself is scary without all the blood.

You can't prevent or run from something you don't know.

Other people don't even notice as Kokomi is a trusted public figure.

Which means not many could warn you if they notice Kokomi's behavior.

It's all small things like encouraging you to stay with her longer.

She gives you small tasks to stay beside her instead of other people.

She's affectionate with you but it's not easy to tell if it's to fool you or not.

Kokomi is a yandere you could pull the "innocent" yandere archetype with.

Many trust her, many see her as a positive person... but if you want to go a bit OOC...

You could say Kokomi is darker than most people know.

Maybe she's just being nice for appearances?

The alternative route is that she doesn't recognize her darker feelings.

She just thinks this subtle control is for the best and won't hurt you.

How could it be when you look so... happy?

Either version makes her a hypocrite, treating the rest of the island differently compared to you.

You two could be close friends, or even dating, and you may not question anything when she keeps you in her home.

She always seems to have an excuse for everything...

Kokomi plans ahead, her sweet words only making you trust her more.

Plus, in case you do catch on, she has plans to wrangle you back.

She's prepared for everything.

But hopefully it won't come to it...

Hopefully you just accept her soft touches and caring words.

Hopefully you just love her and question nothing.

The horror of Kokomi's yandere would be the fact she's nearly undetectable...

You'd be trapped and never know it... you may even be happy there if she plans things right.

[aryxchse]

First of all... 🎉SO SO GLAD TO HAVE MY DELIGHT BACK!~ -I literally missed you🥺-

There has been lots of things I wanted hear your take on about. So I am pulling up my 'gotta share with my Delight' folder. And the first one I remembered is about when I was watching one of my obsession cartoon. There was this swimming competition scene and gUeSs WhO dId I tHoUgHt AbOuT?🤗🤭

-uh i know it's impossible to guess😒-

PERCY JACKSON -fangirl screams as if she is getting murdered🫠-

Headcannons or Blurb doesn't matter. Reader supporting him. Telling him to slow down or catch back up to help confused son of Posiedon.

Like that scene in Incredibles. Confused Percy trying to understand whether he should slow down because he is way to good or catch back up because he slowed down to much. Reader being supportive jumping and cheering while trying to hold her laughs because of how confused he is.

And then Percy comes out winning -duh-. Looking perfect after being in his element -🧎🏻‍♀️-

And ADORABLE celebration. Hugging, twirling fluffy stuff.

P.S.: Sorry I was keep getting lost at imagining it didn't know how to put into the words. I hope I am making sense. Very excited for your take on this one!

💋

winner takes it all. / percy jackson x female! reader.

a / n : oh my gods hi, im back 🤭

warnings : cursing and let me know if there's another

you were more excited than your boyfriend.

it was percy's one of important swimming competitions, and you were obviously there to watch it. you didn't had any doubts on your boyfriend winning, and it should be boring for you to watch him win his every single game at this point, but you can't help it. it makes you feel like a normal teenager again, watching your normal -totally not the son of poseidon- boyfriend doing his best to win his match.

before the game starts, you find him to have some chit-chat. little motivations that you're sure he doesn't need but loves it anyway. but then, you hear two guys speaking. you're not the type to eavesdrop on someone unless you're on some quest, but this was different. because even the first sentence made your blood boil.

"that jackson thinks he's some type of god," one of the boys scoffed. "there wasn't anyone professional enough to beat him, that's why. watch me carefully, because im gonna beat him so bad that he'll walk with shame." and two of them started laughing like they're some type of cartoon villians.

you leaved the changing room angrily but quietly, trying to find percy. he was on the bench with sally and paul, laughing about something estelle said. you smiled, seeing him so sure about himself made you calm.

"hey," you said, approaching to them. as percy's attention focused on you, sally and paul let you talk in private, giving their attention to poseidon. yes, he was here. he comes watching every match of percy's.

percy smile got wider. "hi sweetheart, i was wondering where you were." he said. "where were you, really?"

you shrugged, hugging him. "looking for you." you explained, not fully a lie but not the truth either. "so, what are your plans for today's match?"

percy paused to think for a second. "what do you say? im winning all the time, should i lose? oohh, that would make a huge scandal!" he said excitedly, smiling. you mirrored his expression, getting serious the next moment.

"no, you have to win this one."

your serious expression and even more serious tone made percy serious too. his smile dissapeared and he made a focused face, like he's talking to his coach, not his girlfriend. and you like that he take this seriously.

"why?" he asked, even though he was already ready to do what you say.

"because your rivals are shitty persons who thinks you're not good enough, just your previous opponents were bad." you explained. "i.. kinda heard them while i was looking for you in the change room."

percy gave you his famous smirk. "yeah? i'm becoming a bad influence for you, really. usually im the one who does the mischief."

you hit his arm playfully, but laughing. "hey! my intentions weren't bad, i was really looking for you. and im glad i heard them!"

percy laughed along with you. "so, what's the plan ma'am? should i go with the easy win, or?"

"the hard win." you smirked, pulling him close to you so that you could tell the plan.

🏊🏻‍♂️

as the game start, you cheered for percy, even though he wasn't going to hear you.

the plan was simple, he was going to give that fucker what he wanted until the last moment, that's why poseidon cursed when he saw percy got behind him.

"like he can't win!" he yelled, holding his head. sally put a hand on his shoulder to calm him, and it worked instantly.

the guy was about to win when percy suddenly speed up, passing him with no effort. the guy was so confused that he had to stop in the middle of the swimming, already losing his balance.

you screamed happily when percy got out of the water, and they announced that he was the winner. poseidon sighed, smiling and cheering for his son as well.

you went down to hug him, not caring if he or the floor was wet. sally and the others were behind you, following right after.

"percy!" you called, jumping his arms. you could already see the other boy walking to the eliminated place with full of shame, and you smirked with pleasure.

"did i do good?" he asked you, spinning you around with the medal on his neck. he took off the bonnet, shaking his head and making his hair fall to his face. it was a sight to watch, really.

"you did amazing!" you kissed his forehead, still in his arms. poseidon immediatly hugged him, or technically hugged you both, and cheered for his son. "that's my boy!"

percy had to put you down eventually to hug his family, but never once he took his eyes off of you.

[ghostphobic]

 ╼ born to die

abby anderson x reader

cw - heavy angst , talks of death , actual death / implications of suicide , implications of anxiety , mention of hyperventilating , not a happy ending in the slightest.

a/n - got hit with another wave of inspiration. most of my writing is heavily influenced by songs im listening to. my favorite type of fics to read are angst with a happy ending, but i’ve always liked writing angst with no happy ending. i’ve just never ventured this far into it, so it’s a little bit experimental on my part. enjoy ! 

(disclaimer) : this has not been proofread 

You were an optimist. Well, as optimistic as one could be living in a world where infection and death lurked at every corner. 

Abby was a pessimist. She looked at things realistically and logically, but negatively. 

The two of you were different, but the balance worked well. She kept you in check, and you kept her in check. Rarely did it ever cause one of you to upset the other, but there was one night when your optimistic outlook struck a nerve in Abby. 

"Sometimes I feel like dying wouldn't be so bad." You had said one night while the two of you were lying next to each other. Her hand, that had been aimlessly playing with your hair, halted its movements. You feel her lean up and then her face comes into view. 

"Where the fuck did that come from?" She asked. Her tone sounded... annoyed? Maybe a little bit angry? You couldn't pinpoint what it was exactly, you just knew she wasn't happy. 

"It's nothing, Abs. I was just thinking out loud. I didn't even really mean to say it." 

"No, no." She said, leaning up further to create more distance between the two of you. "It came from somewhere. I want to know what you mean." 

You decided to sit up, realizing this conversation had taken a more serious turn. "I guess I just... God, Abby. I don't know. I wouldn't even know how to describe it. It was just a thought. That's all. 

"Do you feel like you don't have anything to live for?" She asked.

You could tell where she was going with this, and you were quick to try to repair it. "No. Not at all. I have plenty to live for. I have you, and that alone is enough." You sigh, trying to figure out how to word this so you don't hurt or scare her any further. "Me thinking that is just my own way of coping. We face death every day, so if and when my moment comes, I don't want to feel scared. That's all it is. It's just my way of thinking positively, even if it sounds dark. Even if it doesn't make sense." 

She still seems uneasy, so you reach for her and guide her to lay her head on your chest. "I have no plans to leave you, nor do I want to. I love you more than I can put into words. You will have me as long as I'm alive, and you'll have me long after that if I have anything to say about it. It's you and me, Abs. Always." 

Abby had gotten over it quickly, having not thought about it in the several weeks after. But she's thinking about it now. It's playing over and over again in her head, as her eyes flit from your face to the bite mark on your shoulder. It had happened so quickly. Regular patrol had the two of you venturing into a seemingly harmless abandoned building, and briefly separating. You had screamed, Abby had ran towards the noise and shot the infected on top of you. It all happened in the span of, maybe, 10 minutes. All it took was 10 minutes for her worst nightmare to come true. 

"No." She says. "You're fine. You're fine, and we're going to leave here and everything is going to be okay." 

It's irrational and desperate. She knows it. You know it. 

"Abby we're not going anywhere." You say. Your voice is calm and steady, because you're also thinking about that conversation. You realize you feel exactly the way you want to feel. You feel calm. You feel a sense of peace. You also feel a sense of overwhelming sadness, but you're not scared. 

"This can't be happening." 

"Say goodbye to me, Abby." 

"Are you fucking kidding me?" She says. Her tone is angry, but you don't miss the way her eyes shine from unshed tears. "You're just gonna give up? You're telling me this is it?" 

"I love you. I'm asking you to make this easy on the both of us." 

She lets out a sharp exhale of breath and presses her hands to her knees in an attempt to calm herself down. You know you have to initiate the goodbye, so you tilt your head up towards the sky and let a few tears slip out. 

"Loving you has been a privilege." You say. "It's been the only thing that's kept me going, and I wouldn't trade that feeling for the world. Say goodbye and leave me. If it were you, you'd be telling me to do the same thing." 

She looks at you, takes a deep breath, then steps towards you. Her hand comes up to you cheek, and you feel how much she's shaking. She presses a kiss to the top of your hairline. "You will never know how much I love you. It's me and you." She says, echoing the words you had said to her in that previous conversation. "Always." 

She steps away from you, making her way out of the abandoned building with her fists clenched tight. 

Once she's out she leans against the building, and harsh breathing turns into hyperventilating. She can't leave you. She won't leave you. She'll stay until she knows you've done it, because she can't leave you alone while you do this. Even if you don't know that she's just outside. 

She's not sure how long it is before she hears it. The gunshot. Her ears ring. Her body goes numb. Bile rises in her throat. She can't move. 

She stays there until morning turns to afternoon, until afternoon turns to night, then until a few of the others come find her. 

She can't speak, the only thing she can think about is you. How much she loved you. How much she misses you. How you took a piece of her with you, and how she'll never get it back.

[theodoraflowerday]

heartstopper s3e7 live episode reaction

oh my god

these bitches horny. good for them. good for them

tara's so pretty :(

NOT NICK WANTING TO POUNCE ON CHARLIE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RUGBY FIELD

"why are you looking at me like that" he wants to redacted your redacted and redacted you redacted with redacted and redacted for redacted

like let's keep up charlie boy you know what we're getting at

lets_get_it_on.mp3

NICKTARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

lesbian and bisexual himbo supremacy. we got adora and bow, we got tara and nick.... who else do we need

they can afford durex condoms for sex ed??? is truham like a fancy private school or what

"ughhhh so slimy" SAME TAO AKDLDJDLDKD

I only use condoms to cover up ultrasound probes tho but every time I touch one I'm like D: idk how people with dicks do it

harry is so disgusting lmao

"I could tell she really wanted it" you wouldn't know what a woman wants if she spelled it out for you my brother in christ

the std images akfjdkfkdkf who among us wasn't traumatized by std pictures (which is fun bc now I work with stds all the time and it's not that bad)

CHLAMYDIA = BAD JAKDJDKFJDKFJFKFJFDKGUFIFDOGIDIFIDO

oh elle baby

NOT FUCKIN DAVID

WHY'S THIS BITCH HERE

they're so flustered oh my god

the texts :(

OH TARA AND DARCY

oh okay that was...... that sure was something huh

oh my fucking god

bro nick is so fuckin cute

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

worse than mr farouk nominating charlie is mr farouk AND mr ajayi teaming up to nominate charlie???? that was SO cute wtf

I'm so glad elle has naomi and felix :(

ARE YOU TRYING TO PEEK? IT'S ALLOWED WE'RE IN LOVE

i might genuinely die

MICHAEL

bro I see michael and my entire world lights up i love him *so* much I truly think he's my favorite osemanverse character

"my advice is to sneak out" "my advice is that you don't need a sleepover for the activity in question" lmao they're horrible influences both of them

I HOPE YOU GET TO HAVE YOUR SEX SLEEPOVER DOFLDGJDLFJDLFK

MICHAEL HOLDEN YOU ARE THE *LOVE* OF MY *LIFE*

"michael, can you stop talking about my brother having sex?" "sorry 😬" god I love him so much

not everybody being this invested in getting nick and charlie to have sex skfjslfjslfjdl

YOU HAD SEX AT SCHOOL?!?!!??!?!

he's SO SCANDALIZED JSKFJSKFJSKFJDKF

"and also we have a history of getting walked in on" RIGHT? like they better get a hotel room or something, my god

bro I will literally tattoo every nicktara scene on my tits they're SO beautiful

YES TARA VALIDATE HIS EMOTIONS

"oh, nick, I'm not really the person to ask about sex between guys" "....yeah, fair enough" I LOVE THEM /SO/ MUCH UBDJFKDJFLDKFLDKF

NONBINARY DARCYYYYYYYYYYY

oh man im so fucking overwhelmed. this season's got me overwhelmed.

tori going "we all love nick" like :( best in laws :(

tbf I still think charlie went about it in the wrong way, like jane isn't even *wrong* about the exams thing but also he's 16 and horny so like...

um. okay. so that was the most over the top romantic thing in the PLANET what the FUCK tao can you be normal??? can you not raise the bar so high????????

oh is it really a heartstopper season if nick isn't looking at pictures of charlie and feeling Things?

oh he sure is Feeling Things huh

NO NICK NOT THOSE THINGS

oh thank god charlie is here

oh hold on

pause

charlie is here

I know what happens here

oh my god I'm not prepared

bro

no

oh my god

oh my god no I'm not prepareeeedddddd

yeah well if they're ready I have to be ready

"you give me so much confidence" he really does :( and it makes me so sad like nick baby you're a wonderful person :(

"I can't talk to anyone else like I talk to you" GODDDDDDD

"basically I'm freaking out" oh he's so right so am I

"I think we're both a bit of a mess" AND YOU'RE ABOUT TO MAKE A MESS AM I RIGHT

THE MUSIC IS INTENSIFYING

that's more @ me cause I'm not fuckin calm

"char, this is literally the only thing I've been able to think about" SCREAMS AND CRIES

THERE'S SO MUCH ELECTRICITY

OH HE FLIPPED HIM

OH M TGOD

DYA WANT MINE OFF? YEAH

[to the tune of hot to go] W H O R E S YOU ARE CURRENTLY HAVING SEX

THE H AND GOLD

THE? BUTTON?????

WHY ARE YOU UNDER THE XOVERS

WHERE'S THAT HAND GOING

IM

BROOOOOOOOOOOOO

oh yohd

oh my god I can't believe they done did it

oh my god I love this show *so much*

bro I love nick and charlie so much?

[rollercoasterwords]

rae give us your thoughts on taylor swift more specifically her rich white feminist thing she’s got going on and her influence on the current ‘girlboss’ trend and the current perception of women in media today???? asking bc i love reading your opinions on this stuff 💕

it sounds like u have some opinions of ur own lol but sure i can talk abt taylor swift! will be putting it under a cut bc i love my swiftie mutuals tho...swiftie mutuals look away im going to be mean sorry....

i mean yeah overall u kinda summed it up lol. i don't think i'd really care much about taylor swift were it not for the way she's been branded as some sort of groundbreaking feminist and subsequently played into that perception to profit ("the man" makes my eyes roll out of my skull sorry...)

i think my dislike of her was first seeded when "you need to calm down" came out--before then i just hadn't really cared abt taylor swift, knew a few songs but wasn't crazy about them, etc. but then she dropped "you need to calm down" and suddenly she was getting TONS of praise for doing SO much for the queer community and i was like. well first of all the song is bad second of all she's literally comparing her online haters to violent homophobes as though those two things are in any way equal or similar experiences third of all she's getting praised for profiting off positioning herself as a #ally. like this song and music video are not some sort of feminist praxis they are a way to funnel money into her already bulging pockets.

but because literally everyone around me (many swiftie friends) was gushing over how amazing she was for hiring all those dykes + faggots to dance behind her i felt like i was being gaslit + the fact that taylor swift was just happily accepting the money + accolades at the same time made me dislike her

when folklore came out i actually did enjoy the album which was. the first time that's happened for me lol i usually like maybe one or two of her songs and think the rest are mediocre at best but i was like huh maybe she's like changing as an artist and sort of settling into a new groove that's kinda cool. and then i didn't like evermore as much but i was still like okay cool new sound new vibe. and then she dropped midnights and i tried really hard to like it for my swiftie friends but...honestly i was shocked by how bad it was lol. just felt like a new level of low in terms of bad lyrics and the music was incredibly bland and boring to me, nothing new or interesting going on there. and then i felt gaslit again by all the swifties raving abt the lyricism of lines like "draw the cat eye sharp enough to kill a man" like!!! babe that is a tumblr post from 2014...

but aside from finding it genuinely incomprehensible that she gets so much credit for being an amazing writer or lyricist when the bulk of her discography is simply incredibly mediocre or straight-up bad imo (bc honestly that alone wouldn't be enough to make me dislike her; ik these are all subjective measures so even if i find it annoying to hear people rant + rave about music i think is bad it's not gonna make me dislike the artist or the people raving necessarily) what bothers me more and solidifed my dislike of her is the continuation of the way she acted when "you need to calm down" dropped. which is to say, it's infuriating enough that her fandom has sainted her, but what's more infuriating to me is the she seems inclined to play into that sainthood.

she often leans in to portraying herself as either a victim of misogyny or a #girlboss feminist. and like--this isn't to say taylor swift hasn't experienced misogyny, or that she shouldn't talk about those experiences, or that rich white women are exempt from sexism. but her feminist consciousness seems to begin and end with her own personal experiences of sexism, with no effort at a deeper political engagement made. she flies her private jet around and poisons the environment and when people try to call her out for it she sits back and lets her fans accuse anyone that criticizes her of being sexist. in fact, it seems that any criticism of her is met with accusations of sexism, which is an infuriating obfuscation.

at the end of the day, her politics such that i have seen are incredibly liberal and toothless, and her feminism seems largely focused on making herself more money ("the man" being about "getting ahead" faster, the whole thing with that one guy owning her masters centering around a dispute over property + who gets to make money, etc). she is a capitalist first and foremost, and because of that her feminisn kind of sucks, so i hate seeing people treat her as a Feminist Figure. i also think the gaylor thing is sooooo stupid and annoying and reinforces the concept of identity first and foremost as a discrete ontological category rather than something socially constructed + materially rooted. like the idea that taylor has some mystical gay Essence inside her that exists regardless of how straight her music + lifestyle is, the makes her Queer--sorry but give me a fucking break lol. i don't give a shit if she kisses other girls, taylor swift is not a Queer Icon, and i don't understand why people desperately scrabble to find proof that she is when there are already plenty of openly gay pop singers!

in conclusion taylor swift is the epitome of #girlboss liberal feminism to me and her supposedly genius music being aggressively mediocre is just the icing on the cake lol

[ranposbabe]

Infidel | Johan Liebert x Reader

Chapter 6

After the misfortune of your miserable conversation with your so called reliable father of yours, there was only one thing to do. Walk off. Of course you lacked total frustration to walk too far. Nonetheless, you found yourself wondering a local library just down the street.

It was still early in the day and yet the usually quiet library was oddly filled with many groups of people. You didn’t dare to stay long. Just grabbing the nearest book that had a mysterious yet interesting looking cover and walking straight out.

No bother.

Thus, this is how you currently found yourself in a small cafe further down a couple of streets. The cafe wasn’t so popular but either way you didn’t plan on staying long just long enough to forget about the dreadful talk from earlier.

The book sat in your lap and you flicked through the pages.

Perhaps it was boredom that made you subconsciously skipped over paragraphs.

Or it may of been due to the reoccurring migraine of yours that never truly dared to disappear. You rub at your temple but to no avail does the pain stop.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

But then it stops. “Excuse me.”

Looking up to see the sight of a young woman perhaps your age standing in front of you. She grasps tightly onto her bag with her coat still on. You assume she’s just arrived. Your eyes momentarily look away out to the street to see gusts of wind going by. You can tell as her hair despite still looking good her hair is slightly messy around her face yet her long blonde hair flows down her back.

“I’m sorry but is it okay if I sit with you ? All of the other seats are full. Seems to be the busiest day of the week here, huh ?” She giggles. But it’s not it’s-

how long have you been here?

You can’t use the amount of pages you’ve read to tell the time as you’ve skipped over half of them. You didn’t even mark where you left off.

It was just then it was if if you had forgotten to speak. It’s been a while since you’ve spoken to someone that wasn’t under the influence of some sort.

Of course, she takes note of this.

“Are you alright ?”

You nod at the seat opposite you, already turning back to your book.

“Huh? “Why does the brain think ? “ Thats quite the title isn’t it ?” She asks, nodding at your book. “Yes.” You simply respond.

You had the ability to converse during a job but now you somehow lacked the skills to do so. To be fair, this wasn’t a job and you weren’t expecting to meet someone at this cafe.

For the first time ever, you felt the need to introduce yourself. This girl somehow looked uncomfortable. Maybe it was because she wasn’t with her friends and didn’t want to look like a loner.

She didn’t want to look like you. Maybe she just needed a book to look busy like you but she didn’t. She sat there, slightly picking at her nicely painted nails. A light pretty pink.

“I’m y/n. What’s your name ?”

You try a gentle tone, not wanting to sound irritated despite wanting to now just go home. She looks up, her already wide but calming eyes shine more.

“It’s nice to meet you, y/n.” She has a soft smile. “I’m Nina.”

“Im currently attending-

Your eyes widen in remembrance.

“Hey ! You forgot this !” Nina yells, handing you now the crumpled files.

“Oh um thanks…Nina.” You nod.

As soon as as the girl walked away…

the buzzing returned.

“University…”

“Was it that obvious?” She smiles.

You’re not sure what to say as your infer taps away on the cover of the book.

Sooner or later the paper will chip away if you continue. But as soon as Nina speaks again you stop. “Oh no ! Has it really been that long ? I need to get home !” She’s frantically staring down at her tiny watch, looking as if she would’ve hoped the hands would just slow down.

There may be a slight part of you that suddenly wants that too.

“I’m really sorry, y/n ! Seems I lost track of time !” Her left hand takes your right.

Her hand is soft and gentle. She’s nothing like your father’s colleges who rough hands grip yours in an attempt to drag you up on a dance floor in a rotting old pub.

Every time you dig your nails into their fat knuckles to make them release you.

None of them bother to drag you up again.

But you don’t dig your nails into her because she seems friendly but slight guilt starts to build up. She’s being polite and you’re struggling to hold up a conversation. You’re clearly not like Nina.

She gets up to leave and at that you quickly rise. “I’ll walk you out.”

You grab the book and swiftly walk out behind her. She thanks you which sounds so unfamiliar to you but you follow her out the door. You spare a glance back into the cafe as you walk out, Nina holding the door for you.

But as you look back, something you typically never do and yet you see an odd sight.

Just by the end of the shop a man sits by himself. His back is facing you and no one sits opposite him. A dull coat and styled blonde hair. Just his back profile somehow feels familiar but you don’t bother to walk up to him and start a conversation with him to see if you recognise him.

After all, you’re not like Nina.

[clover-creations]

oc: project breaker

drawings i thought i'd save for "when i finish them", but i probably wont be "done" with them until after I finish reading Dante's Inferno and Paradise Lost so uh... posting them now since theyve already been waiting long enough.

these both originally started off with me thinking, "what if Hazbin Hotel specifically catered To Me?" which started out as the original characters, but once i made the jump to linking Lucifer with the Snow Queen... yeah these are completely different characters

reaaaaalllyy long discussion on Catholicism and Hazbin under the cut for the Thought Process behind these guys. hazbin fans look away because i am blending up your show 50 times and making a cake with it. thanks. everyone else please come into my house vv

Adam was more focused on him being the Original Sinner, and the idea that his spot in Heaven is "earned" because he's "fixing" his mistakes by killing sinners/consequences of the original sin. the whole idea of Persecution as a way of showing you're a Part of the Church. and because I think "the only way to get into heaven as a sinner is to constantly be suffering and condemn other people" would be really Interesting for the whole commentary on redemption/Catholicism.

ALSO i get the Raging Misogynist because hes the First Man but thats like.... kind of boring and not funny to me. I get the point of it but it just seems like an excuse to have an in-universe reason to name a character after the vagina. and also its just not funny. And i dont think focusing on the "Men are Violent and Strong and need women to calm them down and have something to protect 🥺thats why theres Man and Woman for Balance" would be funny either but Gender Essentialism is a concept that pisses me off to no end so i NEED to talk about it through characters. (or even, "If I was a Stronger Man, than I could've saved Eve from being tricked" for the Catholic Guilt and Misogyny combo)

ALSO ALSO i think if Hazbin!Adam made the excorcists through his own body (so its not just a bunch of Edgy Angels) i think that would add wayyy more interesting conflict between him and Vaggie ("you were born for this" "im your father so you have to listen to me". things like that because Subtlety is Dead). Also cough cough I feel like he should've taken Charlie more seriously because her dad is literally the person that "tricked" (in quotes because i dont think he MEANT to) him and Eve into Dooming Humanity so like.. what if shes acting all nice because its a trick >:/ or whatever (copying the next part from Discord because its still accurate to my thoughts)

in Dante's Inferno, lucifer/satan is at the very bottom of hell, in a frozen lake in the Snow Queen, the devil makes a mirror that makes people see only the bad of people. The snow queen takes a boy (sinner) to her domain (hell) where he is trapped there until the protagonist can free him with love lucifer (hazbin) gave free will to humanity, but after he gets banished and his wife leaves him he becomes depressed and self-isolates the thing with hazbin!lucifer that makes him 🤨 is that they just. make him a silly deadbeat dad?? i guess???? when like. what if because he can only see the worst parts of humanity he loses faith in humanity. like with his pride he doesn't think he did a mistake, but if he become cold and bitter and self isolated bc of that it would make him contrast WAY more with charlie. if you're gonna make him a deadbeat dad COMMIT to it!!!!!!! and then the ~devils influence~ that christians always talk about could be apathy and paranoia and responding with anger to love. he becomes the mirror that distorts people's views of themselves and others, making them believe that its in their nature to be evil, that they cant get better, that this is just how the world is

Lucifer in "WSE"/"We Sunk Eden" would basically be an entity that showed Adam and Eve their potential through the Mirror, giving them free will, but dooms humanity because of it. The Rain basically floods the World to the point where it becomes all ocean. It has enough important details.

If people want more information on WSE specifically, then I'll try to gather all my scattered notes on discord 👍

[yaoxsblog]

Nothing is canon in hetalia so I’m making my own list of headcanons regarding worldbuilding and al that whimsical stuff

I should probably mention this is inspired by THE worldbuilding hc post, I reblog it all the time but just in case you haven’t read it (how could you), you can do that here

Oh also umm all of these are both serious and not. Take them all with a grain of salt as they say. Im just having fun

I think thats it… lets go

Their body temperature depends on their climate. Sort of. Technically they all have a normal body temp, but you know how some people are always cold? In that way.

I think it’s canon actually that climates influence the general character of a personifications… although romano exists… so maybe not…. Not sure about that one.

They don’t get sick, in fact I hc they CANT get sick with normal human diseases. Their well being depends on the state of their people/the country. They get „sick” from wars, rebellions, econimic issues etc.

They can’t reproduce. Except for the times they can. Because egypt.

They exist as long as people feel connected to the idea of a „nation” or otherwise feel connected to that identity. Even if they „die”, as long as there are people who consider themselves a certain nationality, they can come back to life.

I’m partial to the idea of some of them appearing just because they were created artificially… like brčko. I will never actually talk more about her all you get is cryptic little puzzle pieces of info about her. Anyways she magically appeared when some documents were signed because funny

I’m unsure what happens when a nation is wiped out. Like when every person who was once a part of that nation either dies or stops identifying with it… maybe they get sick and die but maybe instead they turn into a human and slowly age, then die as the last person of that nationality….

They need to eat sleep etc but can go without doing any of that for longer periods of time than normal humans

They have hobbies and interests and can love humans but have no ambition or desire to live. Not even an animal like urge to live to pass something on. Because they really can’t. They exist to live and to vibe only. And despite no aspiration to live they will beg for mercy if you put a knife to their throat…. Hah… thats so weird

Immensly calming aura to normal people. Probably works better on people of their own nationality, they bring a sort of inspirational energy to the room. I feel as thought they inspired poets and artists, and all those works dedicated to the idea of a nation were actually about a being…

Despite being able to die (technically, even if not permanently) it takes them hundreds of years to understand the concept of death.

Same with aging, it makes no sense how a human deteriorates in, say, 60 years. How little that is, compared to their own age.

Wait, I have a comic I like that describes this well - here

Theyre not inherently violent. At least not most of them. Their wants don’t always align with what the people want but what can they do other than oblige. Yea

Not that important but they can totally have altered states. Half of them are high 24/7

Mentioned it before but they get, or at least most of them used to - get attached to their leaders. It wears off the older they get because they simply get used to the fact they change so often, at least from their perspective

Most of them are pretty open with the fact theyre not humans. If you ask them i image most would just go haha yea thats me I’m 6969 years old lol

I’m very much aware that the rule which i think is canon based on one ep…. That pgysica age related to land mass, is stupid bullshit and generally doesn’t apply in half the cases. And therefore I’ll say to me, I just accept whatever canon physical age you want to give to a character. Whatever reason you want for it is acceptable too.

Thats it for now :PP

[anthyies]

Hi! Can I ask for more info about the necessity of reading Baru books 2 and 3? Because ngl, I really disliked book 1. Not because of the ending. The ending was the only part I liked. I was like, "Something is FINALLY happening in this goddamn book, the promised treacherous behaviour is FINALLY here." I know some people are reluctant to read on because they found the ending of book 1 devastating, but that was not my experience. Sure, it's sad, but it's narratively necessary. So... WILL reading the sequels help, in my case? I see so many people talk about how amazing this series is, comparing it to other series I really like (like Locked Tomb). What is it that makes the sequels worth reading to someone who didn't enjoy the first one?

tl;dr: idk if you’d like them. if you’re invested in baru as a character and her emotional arc try them. Long post under the cut lmfao sorry

without knowing why you disliked the rest of the first book i can’t really tell you whether you’d like the second and third. negative reviews of monster and tyrant revolve around a) “Baru is too emotional and messy and i wanted her to be a calculating mastermind cryptarch plotting” b) on the other hand “Baru is too cold unemotional calm and it’s freaky” (she is just autistic, most people who think this drop out at traitor) c) not connecting with how the cryptarchs are portrayed as a messy group of people / not liking the expanded scope and introduction of the cancrioth (secret cancer cult) / not liking the story of ash sections that focus on a new character, tau indi bosoka. take that as you will i guess? you need to be invested in baru as a character for them to work, i think. and it depends on what you want/expect from the books. if you were bored by the first book well the second and third do have a lot of things happening like the aforementioned cancer cult. basically yeah traitor is just the start of baru, i think monster and tyrant are necessary if you’re going to talk about baru being “grimdark” (imo it’s not), or if you want to figure out what the series wants to say, but if you didn’t like the start of baru’s arc idk if you’ll like the rest of it you know? it really does depend on ur investment in baru + what you want from her; a lot of neg reviews of monster are from people who expected something completely different.

monster and tyrant are special to me because of how baru’s arc is carried out as she deals with the aftermath of traitor - her narration does get wildly more emotional which im obsessed with personally #griefcore #widowpilled, and the emotional catharsis of baru freeing her mind from the influence of empire is incredibly important and personal to me. and i rec that people who have finished traitor and can’t make themselves read the next two because of emotional devastation read them because baru dealing with the emotional devastation helps 👍 it gets worse it gets to the worst place she could possibly be and then it starts to get better. also monster and tyrant have tau in them ❤️‍🔥 and ISCEND. and ulyu xe becomes so important. and aminata gets to be so fucked up and closeted-to-herself-probably-bisexual. they have fucked up gay women in these books 👆

re; locked tomb comparisons I’m not into tlt like that but i don’t really understand them beyond the superficial level of “lesbians who commit atrocities and also there’s an empire and also lobotomies and also dead gf in your head”. the lobotomy and dead gf in head happen in monster and tyrant fwiw (although the context of the lobotomy is so different .. they don’t match up thematically at all lmao. the htn lobotomy is out of love the baru lobotomy is an existentially horrifying threat). baru has a very different prose style and also is a much more focused look at empire like it is about empire and colonization that is what the books are about. whereas at least gtn/htn were not that focusedly about empire. also crucially baru is about homophobia it is very much about homophobia and tlt is queernormative (i prefer baru because she feels truer to my own experiences like when i say she is just like me her journey is personal to me i mean it lmfao. stream this essay)

[pesterloglog]

Latula Pyrope, Meenah Peixes, Kankri Vantas, Porrim Maryam, Aradiabot, Vriska Serket, Sollux Captor, Aradia Megido, Equius Zahhak, Mituna Captor, Kurloz Makara, Cronus Ampora, Feferi Peixes, Meulin Leijon, Nepeta Leijon, Eridan Ampora, Rufioh Nitram, Damara Megido, Horuss Zahhak, Karkat Vantas, Tavros Nitram, Gamzee Makara, Terezi Pyrope

Act 6, page 5427

LATULA: wooooo, 4w y34h grlz, h34rd you w3r3 st4rt1ng 4 p4rty ov3r h3r3??? >XD

MEENAH: no its not a party its...

KANKRI: Hm. I see s9me9ne has ch9sen t9 dress as a pirate f9r this party, in spite 9f the negative ass9ciati9ns that the 9ld marauding classes have with vi9lent a6use, 9ppressi9n, n9t even t9 mention

MEENAH: ARRRRRGH DUD-E GTFO

LATULA: yo porr1m! n1c3 costum3! w4y to ch4ng3 1nto someth1ng on such short not1ce. H1 F1V3!!!!

PORRIM: What? No+, this isn't a co+stume. It's just what I was wearing. I came o+ver here to+ see what all the co+mmo+ti+n was about.

LATULA: d4mn grl you just look1ng f1n3 for th3 h3ll of 1t th3n! GRL POW3R!!!

PORRIM: Uh... sure. So+ this is a party? So+unds like fun!

MEENAH: no its not a party gfd 38(

ARADIABOT: lets annihilate them

ARADIABOT: yes lets. i am in the m00d t0 ruin s0meb0dy

VRISKA: Right on! I knew I could count on you crazy metal 8roads for some mayhem.

SOLLUX: hey aradia, uh... y0ur rob0 clones l0ok like they're ab0ut to flip the fuck 0ut. they're making me nervous, eheheh. can you try talking s0me sense into them?

ARADIA: sorry sollux my robotic duplicates have always been free agents totally exempt from my influence and better judgement

ARADIA: equius do you think you can calm them down?

EQUIUS: D --> They are pernickety devices

EQUIUS: D --> Often sweat seeps into their circuitry and causes them to behave more erratically

EQUIUS: D --> Which unfortunately only causes me to sweat even more profusely, I am afraid

ARADIA: equius weve never talked about it but im not sure how comfortable i am with you um... courting such a great plurality of my mechanical doubles

EQUIUS: D --> On a scale of 1 to 100, how depraved would you say you find my behavior?

EQUIUS: D --> (please be 100, please be 100...)

ARADIA: i never should have kissed you that time it was such a mistake :(

EQUIUS: D --> (I NEED A TOWEL)

EQUIUS: D --> (A NEW ONE I MEAN)

MITUNA: HA7H 4NYW0NG 533N MY H4ML37

KURLOZ: :o)

MITUNA: 000H WH04 N1C3 C057UM3 8UDDY

KURLOZ: :o)

CRONUS: (be quiet. by saying anything youre really making a horrible impression on people we should be trying to impress here.)

MITUNA: 1M 50RRY

CRONUS: (ill forgivwe you, but this is the last time i evwer do. im at my vwits end with you.)

MITUNA: 1M 50RRY PL3453 PL3453 F04G1V3 M3 4G4IN

FEFERI: GLUB! (whoops, i mean glub. oh gosh, it's my ancestor!)

FEFERI: (i'm so nervous, i can't let her notice me. she's so unbubbleivably cool! *swoonami*)

MEENAH: (ah snap its my ancestor. wish i didnt notice her)

MEENAH: (must... suppress... urge... to murder her for royal supremacy omg)

MEULIN: (^·ω·^) < 333333333!!!!!!!!!

NEPETA: :33 < 333333333!!!!!!!!!

MEULIN: (^·o·^)/ < 333333333!!!!!!!!!

NEPETA: :33 < 333333333!!!!!!!!!

MEULIN: (=^ω^=) < 333333333!!!!!!!!!

ERIDAN: wwhoa man could you maybe stop bumpin me wwith your codpiece

CRONUS: sorry chief, honest misake. so are you doing anything later?

ERIDAN: wwait are you actually seriously hittin on me

ERIDAN: wwoww dude evven i think youre trash

CRONUS: im a cool enough cat if you get to know me. you didnt ansvwer the question.

ERIDAN: sigh fine lets go out on a date i guess. flippin amazin this tragic scenarios wwhat i been reduced to

MEENAH: H-EY! everyone stay on the right goddamn sides. cronus im lookin at you

VRISKA: Yeah! Nepeta, 8ack in line. You people need to start taking this 8rawl more seriously.

RUFIOH: yo my gangstas! d1d 1 hear you were go1ng off to f1ght a ghost k1ll1ng demon...

RUFIOH: m1nd 1f 1 tag along... 1've been hop1ng for a chance to put an end to my cruel joke of an ex1stence... haha... bangarang.

VRISKA: Hell yes! On this team I have a MAJOR need for expenda8le people.

MEULIN: (^·o·^) HORSEBODY!RUFIOH, DON'T BE SUCH A DOWNER! DIDN'T YOU GET THE MEOWMO? THIS IS NOT A CATFIGHT, IT'S A COSTUME PURRTY!!!

MEENAH: no no it really is a catfight. or i mean a regular fight... urrgh

KANKRI: Meulin, it w9uld 6e great if y9u didn't use this party as a platf9rm t9 engage in suicide shaming. I think Rufi9h is triggered en9ugh as it is having t9 live with the hein9us 69dy 9f a metal h9rse.

DAMARA: これは何? ハロウィーンの乱交? [What is this? A Halloween orgy?]

VRISKA: Are you fuckers deaf???????? This 8n't a party!

MEULIN: (^._.^) ...

PORRIM: Ho+rrus, yo+ur o+utfit lo+o+ks nice, but so+rry to+ say it was a false alarm. It's no+t a co+ stume party.

HORUSS: 8=D < This isn't a costume. I am literally a majestic stallion, and my appearance refle% this noble reality.

PORRIM: Ah. Go+tcha. Hey guys, can I be o+n the o+ther team?

KANAYA: Yes!

MEENAH: no!!!!!!!!!!

KARKAT: THIS GATHERING HAS COMPLETELY BLOWN AWAY MY ABILITY TO TOLERATE STUPIDITY AND AWFULNESS. GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE.

KARKAT: GOD DAMN IT. THE CROWD IS GETTING TOO THICK, I CAN'T EVEN GET AWAY FROM THIS SHIT. EVERYBODY FUCKING MOVE!!!

TAVROS: eXCUSE ME, oTHER PEOPLE,

TAVROS: wHO ARE ME, aND OTHERWISE,

GAMZEE: honk.

TAVROS: hAVE YOU SEEN, a BEAUTIFUL TREASURE ON THE FLOOR,

TAVROS: tHAT IS MORE SPECIFICALLY A RING,

TEREZI: K4RK4T, SHUT UP, TH1S 1S GR34T!

TEREZI: W3 N33D TO G3T MOR3 P3OPL3 J4MM3D 1NTO TH1S SW33T F1GHTP4RTY M4SQU3R4D3! >:]

[8bitsupervillain]

Higurashi When They Cry Hou Ch. 4 Himatsubushi pt. 3

The first of the TIPS in chapter four gets rather philosophical. It's a lot about how intertwined people truly are, simultaneously not at all, but could be connected in a big way.

The second of the TIPS is about the Inukai child who was kidnapped. The kidnappers talking around him about how he needs to calm down, and also if he doesn't vague threat vague threat.

The next morning Akasaka tries to wrangle a little tour of Hinamizawa using the cover of being a photographer who wants to capture the natural splendor of Hinamizawa before it gets submerged by the dam construction.

And just like that he's invited into village under the guise of a simple tourist. Quite surprising that those in charge of the village and the Onigafuchi Guardians would just let some rando in, but hey we need the plot to progress somehow. On his way through town he spies all manner of anti-construction/anti-government protest signs along the roadside until he arrives at his stop.

If you ever feel the need to ask yourself if you seem suspicious, you probably do. Nine times out of ten it'll just be nerves, but it's that one time you have to worry about. Especially when you're conducting a wee bit of espionage.

I'm surprised we didn't get the eyes at any point during chapter three. Seems like during the many many many many many many many many many many scenes of Keiichi going on about how he needs to kill X Y or Z it would've popped up, but surprisingly they didn't. I missed them, I missed the feeling of dread they gave. I don't think they're really wise to the fact that he's a cop, I think they're probably just giving him the suspicious stare because he's an outsider. The villagers seem certain that every person from outside Hinamizawa isn't on the level, so it makes sense they'd be untrusting of this random yahoo from Tokyo who just so happens to be wanting to have a poke around during such a sensitive time.

After getting off the bus filled with suspicious villagers Akasaka finds a small bus stop, which is filled to the brim with Rika and posters and such with protest slogans.

Akasaka, you're now two for two on saying things someone who isn't suspicious should say out loud. Stop it.

Seems even six years ago in the past Rika is fully aware of what's going on in the narrative. Although her calling Akasaka Tomitake Mk. II makes it seem like she's aware of the fact that Hinamizawa seems to be stuck in a time loop going back even further than the constant looping of June 1983. Since Rika is the physical reincarnation of Oyashiro, does she experience time non-linearly? Was I wrong about the notion that everyone knows about the time loop except for Keiichi?

Thinking about it I think I might be able to work out how it's happening, to an extent. Rika is the one going through the time loop. For whatever reason she keeps getting plonked back into June, 1978 and is forced to relive the events going from then until the end of June, 1983. Since she's relived these events however many times she's gone through them she's tried influencing events in an effort to escape it. Only for June to end, only to find herself back in 1978, and repeat the whole process over and over. And each chapter is a new wrinkle in the ever repeating process. This, for instance, is the first time she's interacted with a cop pretending to be a nature photographer. Hence: Tomitake Mk. II.

Akasaka suffers from the same instantly trusting of a person he just met disease Keiichi has (I almost described it as falling in love, but that felt wrong). It's explained away it's because Rika is his vision of what the perfect child would be, and his own wife is about to give birth to their own child. Brief tangent, and I apologize in advance, but I just thought of an absolutely wild theory that has no chance of being correct. What is the subplot of Akasaka having a child is somehow tied into the cult of Oyashiro? What if Rika is somehow trying to impart the spirit of Oyashiro into the unborn child of Akasaka and his wife Yukie, in an attempt to break the cycle?

After a nice drive around Hinamizawa, Akasaka is taken to the Furude shrine where he is able to do some light reconnaissance into the inner workings and strength of the Onigafuchi Guardians. He also meets the mayor of Hinamizawa Kimiyoshi (I want to say his first name is Keiichirou, but I don't remember off hand). Who is now slightly more relevant to the plot, as he now has a character art. Also there was this:

Which, I would like to thank the internet for making innocent terms sound extremely dirty and wrong. Also:

Anyway, during his brief wander around the Furude shrine grounds, Rika pulls him aside.

This particular chapter seems to be speed-running the usual song and dance of the chapters by getting to the central plot creepiness quickly.

"The girl I had spent time with... Rika Furude... would not speak like that." Akasaka, you've known this girl for maybe four hours. You don't know her, at all! How can you honestly stand there and say there's no way she'd act like this? For all you know, this is how she'd normally act! Just because you're mentally trying to imprint the idea that this unknown child is how your unborn kid will act doesn't make it so. Also, that's kind of a weird thing to do, but then again I'm not a parent, so who the hell knows, maybe expectant parents act like this all the time.

I'm now envisioning that scene from Disco Elysium where Cunoesse is taunting the detective into shooting her. Only replace the detective with Akasaka, and Cunoesse with Rika.

I think the Rika who was warning Akasaka to go back to Tokyo was the "real" Rika, the cute child with the meeps is an act. It's a facade she puts on to make other adults trust her, and disregard her as a helpless, safe creature that they can safely ignore and speak candidly around. I reckon, that in the future, 1981 and forward the only ones who see the "real" Rika are the other heads of the three families.

You can't really tell, but I'm pretty sure behind the text box here is the good old soulless stare. Also, I have to say, even looking at the box art (I know it's not an actual boxed game, but I don't know what you call the art on Steam and so on that have the title. Key art? I know there's an actual term for it, I'm just blanking on it.) I wouldn't have guessed that the chapter would take place six years before the other chapters and be the Rika and Ooishi chapter.

[angabby-zzz]

Something something requested post about gabby

Ive like talked a little about stuff related 2 her identity problems ☝️ ✌️ and everything but like. vague hand motions heres the whole thing:;;;

Tbh im not sure where it started but to me its a mix of her ties to dionysus being expression and emotions and me just projecting onto her. her powers are focused on influencing others and manipulating things rather than just nature or art so shes like. full of chaos. not even in a silly personality trait way its literally just built into her. thats what her powers are. chaos and change. thats what she embodies. [which contrasts angels motif of calmness and cowardice and brings a cool balance to their relationship]

so obviously that and having bipolar disorder can make things messy sometimes and she struggles with truly being happy with her friendships. which is bad on its own but these also make her really cling to predictability and the idea of being in control (most obvious ex. is taking the role of leader during the quest for herself and planning out everything they do) which like. is related to the uncertainty she feels towards herself and her future cuz shes like getting closer to being an adult [and also the age lots of demigods dont make it very far past but she hasnt had to worry much about that until now] but really isnt ready to do that nor does she have any real passion for any job or thing related to it. shes just focused on finishing highschool and then she’ll have to worry about that. which she hated cuz yk. Mentioned stuff.

so basically its lots of Wow this is a lot of emotions about stuff with me in it. But who am i even. What is my purpose what am i supposed to do. Why is the world like this i dont want to do adult things. I dont even know what those adult things are or how they work.

i wanna say there were some v small thoughts about this pre-demigod stuff happening [mostly just about if people like her or not or how tf to make friends rather than everything else] and it just like got 10x worse once they did start cuz it like ruined what good she had goin. duh

and going with the linked post where i apologize to gabby she also has the dumbest smart person in the room problem where yes she Is very smart and good at problem solving and fighting but she also feels like shes not very useful or impressive when in certain groups [like how angel and jade have more knowledge about greek myths and nature than her] so its like. Hm is she really all that if she can only shine when surrounded by people less competent than she. also the guilt mentioned in said post is like related to this too cuz she wants to look cool and be inteligent and awesome yet also could come off as stuck up or a showoff or something cuz of how much she wants to be looked up to by others and be complimented

i think the last thing i have to say about it is how she does a lot of avoiding like. as a coping thing. like 2 examples i have so far for p1 would be the whole forced quest thing as an excuse to leave camp and not deal with violet or jack or anyone else who could bring up the fight and then the breakdown talk with angel (though its less avoiding and more finally snapping from all the pushing away) … and like maybe the bedrotting on their first summer there could count since she didnt wanna go out and see her dad or engage in any camp things but idk. maybe the thing w her stepdad too

Anyway yeah this post took forever cuz i was working on it on and off lollll sorry been busy (so obv disclaimer sorry if it sounds weird cuz i kind of just continued my thoughts between hour long pauses. im not rereading my lore posts bro thats what ive got notes and memorized info for….)

[colorisbyshe]

👀 so did you isten to any good and new music in april

i was gonna hold off and wait until jessie ware's album released tonight to make this post but i THINK im gonna want to do a mini live-blog of that album and this post is already massive enough as is sooo

April Faves!

Newly Released:

"High Life" by Bloc Party. Fun vibes. Very relaxed and I think is quite great for the warmer weather and driving with the windows down. Great riffs in this song.

"Dead Wood" by Enter Shikari. Enter Shikari is a weird band for me because I was SUUUPER into their original demos that you could download off like... mypace? And then I forgot they existed. Until this album? So that's CRAZY that they're still here it's been 15 years since I cared about them. Anyways, this song is like... kinda theatrical and WEIRD but not in a theatrical way. It has a bunch of string instruments and a sense of foreboding, I like it. One of the more "for beginners" track on a fairly experimental album. Need to listen to the album more cause I'm unsure if this is my favorite. "Bloodshot" is a great combo of more high speed electronic influences crashing their more hardcore influences. Dubstep energy without the dubstep.

"Be the One" by Bree Runway and Khalid. Radio friendly song of the summer. Vocal chemistry off the charts. Just sweet and soothing.

"GLBTM (Studio Outtakes)" by Daft Punk. Made me cry. I miss Daft Punk so fucking much. Beautiful instrumental.

"冷たい風 (30 Universe Ver)" by Penicillin. Jrock, if you couldn't tell by the Japanese title. It's okay if you don't like listening to non-English music but plEASE listen to the guitar shredding at ~2:27.

"Angel" by Shygirl and Fatima Al Qadiri. ETHEREAL AND HAUNTING.

"Coup" by Frost Children. Earlier, I made a post about how my music taste is getting worse... this album and this song inspired that post. The Medic Droid meets 100 Gecs. Just stupid electronic music it's EMBARRASSING. "Angel's Thoughts" is also an electro banger.

Choosing a song off the new Buck-Tick album is hard. It's all a banger to me but I suppose I really love Namonaki Watashi and the contrast between the way the instrumental feeling like it's sparkling and the strong emphasis of his vocals. Scarecrow is also great, just has a nice intensity throughout the whole thing.

"Midnight Dreams" by Ellie Goulding. Putting out a disco-inspired dance album in the same month as Jessie Ware was BRAVE but I think this album is pretty refreshing. It's just extremely proficient at being... a dance album Ellie Goulding would make, y'unno?

"I'll Remember for Me, I'll Remember for You" by Yaeji. An odd choice from this album, since it's more an interlude than a full song. But I just love that it's this moment of calm on an experimental, erratic and yet there's a creeping sense of... wariness over it all.

"D N D" by Apink. The only Kpop on the list so far?? Grown women showing off vocals while feeling like cotton candy.

"Vinglevingle" by Heize. More kpop except it has more a 2010s eurodance vibe but like... matured.

Came out 3/30 but that is April to me. "Zodiac Killa" by Jean Deaux. This is the type of song to play during a montage of a woman driving across the country, running over men, stopping to ransack jewelry stores, before reuniting with her lover, another woman on horseback.

Honorary Mentions:

"Say it to Me" by Otto Knows. It's a dance track. You know how it is.

"She Don't Mind" by Karencici. I could see Tinashe doing this song except it's largely in mandarin, so like... if Tinashe could sing in mandarin. Talking about Tinashe, it's not her best track, but "Who's Taking You Home" with Kyle is solid enough and also from this month.

"Isumad (Lakim Remix)" by Cookiee Kawaii. I liked this entire album but I choose this one just for having a run time over 3 minutes, a rarity for her! Funky remix. Another take on a nostalgia sound but modernized perfectly.

De De Mouse put out multiple releases, they're good. Check out De De Mouse in generic if you want like... annime OPs/EDs ramped up by funk and other more experimental influences.

Technically came out 3/31 but WHATEVER. "Vampire" by Kvi Baba, the Trigun Stampede OP guy.

Not Released in April:

"Writhe" by Daine. 100 gecs but more emo.

"Over You" by Daddy DJ. Sorry... Daddy DJ really is just like... comfort music at this point. Peak 2000s dance music.

"Mercurial" by Silica Gel, a korean rock band. Love the vocal effect for this song. Just love the resonating nature.

"Wings of Time" by Tame Impala, the song they did for Dungeons and Dragons. Throwback roooooock sound. Blare it with the windows down while driving past a beach at sunset. Trust me it's a vibe.

Revisited a looot of Utada this month. "Michi" remains a bop that stuck with me this month. Just good, mature jpop. Not alone not alone not alone!

Rest in Peace Ryuichi Sakamato. There's many songs to really attribute to such an influential figure but sometimes all you need is a straightforward song like Rain.

"Broken Mirror" by Boom Boom Satelittes is some Jrock tha tFUCKS

[okthatsgreat]

hello!! same person as the read more opddmh ask, off anon now (accidental click hiding my identity permanently. alas) and wow you have fed me so well oh my god. ive been rereading really focusing on that lens and im going absolutely NUTS!! hope you don't mind if i ask another question im just so hooked. r there any dynamics youve especially enjoyed exploring, or hope you get a chance to explore further/introduce?

KOZUELOVEMAIL !!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU.

referring to this post talking about this fic :]!! again going to put this under read more LMFAOO

ohhhhhh my god ok so first of all i know its probably the obvious answer since they are like. the very first people to get introduced in the fic but ive loved writing makoto and miu hgfdbshfjbg i think it started when i was writing lgowab and there were a couple of scenes between them in that fic?? i just remember makoto being this sort of calming and influencing presence to miu, who if youve read that fic definitely needed somebody calm around her lmfao. writing miu in THIS fic im always trying to keep in mind how she would act around adults rather than kids her age and i thought it was important for her to have somebody """""""stable""""""" (worlds BIGGEST asterisk on the stable part) that's able to empathise with her. and on the other hand, i thought it'd be neat for somebody that's wild as hell like miu to be interacting with this version of makoto, since he's sort of lost a lot of his youth to the company he works for :] in a way theyre able to balance each other out. theres still a lot of learning the both of them have to do, miu has a long way to go in terms of trust and makoto is still unable to prioritise his own feelings rather than everybody elses, but theyre certainly getting there!! :] never thought one of my favorite dynamics would be rowdy teenage girl picked up off of the streets interacting with jaded "ultimate hope" but here we are....

very excited to keep going with mikane SOOO excited for them. theres this unspoken codependency that both of them have with each other even if they refuse to admit it. mikan is the ONLY person akane talks to from her class and seems to be the only person she interacts with at all. but on the other hand, mikan relies on akane to be that stability for her, and has to believe in akanes act because of this. i make sure to frequently reference how mikan is worried about akane in her pov and vice versa, because even if they aren't together they're still thinking about the other :] they care about each other so so much, but both of them have this unexpressed reliance on the other for their own personal wellbeing that, again going back to the danganronpa of it all, has a lot to do with their own personal traumas. im trying not to make it super duper heavy handed or anything just yet but it will be explored later on when they finally reunite!!!!!!!!!!! :] writing for mikane can be so funny sometimes especially with akane who is constantly like "yeah mikan is the only person i think about most of the time lol. platonically tho. im not gay"

AND honestly this unspoken dependency sort of applies to naegiri too, even if it is even less stated-- even if makoto and kyoko have other people to turn to in the rare event they DO want to talk about their feelings, theyre still relying on the other for some kind of stability. so even if they are both extremely aware that the other is lying to them in some capacity there will always be worry coming from both sides, which hopefully will get elaborated on later when we get to the peak of makotos arc :D

OHHHH MY GOD BYAKUYA AND MIU TOO. OBSESSED WITH THEM. both of them are such assholes i loooovveeee writing about their whole deal. they are both so so aware of their morality in comparison to somebody like makoto who is just so objectively good that its difficult not to question their standing and why he would want to hang around them. but they are so funny together because miu can not stand how uptight he is and byakuya would actually for real rather kill himself than admit he wants to be friends with her they are everything 2 me

gfshdghgfs as im writing this im realising there are SO MANY i want to explore but i dont want to keep you here forever and ever LMAO so ill try to make this quick first of all. i love exploring angie and kirumi's dynamic. theyre both in different stages of denial, even if kirumi tries to pretend like she isnt. soooo much of kirumi is driven by guilt it is insane, guilt that now EXTENDS to angie because of the whole riot thing. and angie oooughhgh angie. ive got scenes for these guys already written out that i cant waiiiitttttt for

both rantaro and ryoma mirror akane in different ways so im looking forward to their moments as well!!! don't know if i should be elaborating on that because it's very very possibly a spoiler LMFAO but just know things are going to happen. they are definitely going to happen

makoto and junko are also very fun :] still foils to each other but at the same time grossly similar in the way they are exploited by the company. also they hate each other. love writing them

alright im practicing restraint. going to stop now THANK YOU AGAIN SORRY THIS IS SO LONG!!!!!!!! I JUST LIKE TALKING ABOUT THINGS THANKS AGAIN :]] <33