#and she was like 'well it helps me not kill myself so it's a worthwhile tradeoff for me'

[tijuanabiblestudies]

hey brain/body? if i'm gonna have such a bad case of fastbrain that i can't sleep or focus on anything or switch off my internal monologue, could i pleeeeeeeeeeease get the heightened sex drive that usually comes with that, instead of the complete libido nosedive that seems to have happened this time? because that was the secret ingredient that made hypomania fun, and it turns out it's fucking miserable without it

[scrubbinn]

Mimic HRT: month 23 “Alone with myself”

“This is a dumb idea. The day after Erian gives up with his mimic research, you decide to resort to the worst possible option. There's so many other options we could try.”

“Oh, so now you show up in my head. Of course you're only here to attack me. Why should I expect anything different? It's just magic. We're inexperienced but the book can guide us. If you want to help then you can stay, otherwise I don't want to hear a single thing out of you.”

“You can't call this magic. This is so much worse. Look, I'm here to make sure you're going to be ok, I'm here to talk when you need it.”

“Well I don't need to talk to anyone right now. So go away. I need to concentrate.”

“And what would she think?”

“Leave!”

“Ms.Mulberry, You’ve been in your office for a while now. Is everything alright? You seem to have locked the door, and barred it considering the master key is doing nothing. I understand if you’re having trouble with your panic attacks. It’s the only reason I gave you this place. I just need the recording on Mimic behavior. The full recording, not the edited draft this time.”

“Sorry Theo, I, uh, yeah I’m kind of busy at the moment. I left the recorder in your desk drawer, the one with all the candy. By the way, you know you’re not at that age where you can be so casual with your teeth, right? Maybe get that sweet tooth pulled instead? Anyway, I’ll be busy for a while so I could use some space.”

“Right… Well your unneeded chastising aside and your odd hiding of your recorders around my office, I’ll take a look. Please don’t take more than 15 minutes. We have several important clients coming in soon and I need you at the front desk on your best behavior.”

“What happened to Jacob?”

“He was fired after he screamed at a dragon walking into the clinic on three separate occasions. Look I would appreciate not having a conversation with a door, will you open up or not?”

“Busy right now, like I said. Just. Go away for now. Like an hour?”

“You have 10 minutes. Harumph. I will be in my own office with the door not barred and I will be listening to your findings, they better be worthwhile.”

* * *

“Mayday! Mayday!? You open this door this instant!!” Listen to me right now! I know you have that book from Thayer library in there! Do not use it! Mayday, you will not use that book or you’ll wish all that happened today is me breaking down this door!”

“Leave Theo, I’m not stopping now. There were no concrete answers anywhere until this book found its way to me. If science won’t show me my origins, then the only answer I have left is magic. Now be quiet. I need to make sure the ritual circle is perfect. I can’t afford to mess up a single line. You said you had some clients, right? Go tend to them, I’ll be fine.”

“You most certainly won’t be! This isn’t magic, Mayday! This is something far more dangerous! Not to mention it could cause the ethics board to take away my license if they found out something like this happened here! I'm calling the fire department, I'll be taking the damages out of your paycheck!”

“Of course that’s what you’re worried about. Now hush already… The protection circle goes here, I think there’s just enough salt to finish the rest of these sigils…”

“Why are you even doing this here of all places!? Do you seriously just want to get me in trouble when this childish impatience blows up in your face? 

Wait. Why are you doing this here? This is the only place where I could interfere with you… You’re worried what she’d say if she knew what you were doing. It’s easier for me to hate you, isn’t it.”

“...Don’t bring up Abigail. She wouldn't get it. Neither of you would. It's so clear you've hit a dead end. You just found some random substances in your office and decided that, in your oh so infinite wisdom, this, this right here. This is what should go in a person's medicine. I'd ask what you'd have done if it didn't kill me, but I've actually seen how many people have nearly choked on your experiments. It's your fault I'm a mimic, I never asked for this. I wanted to be a slime! I still do. Now I'm this thing that can only fake it. I was so close, I was so, so close. And now it's gone forever. I am the only mimic in existence. I am alone, and I can't convey to anyone how scared that makes me.”

“You're worried Ms.Abigail could talk you out of this, aren't you.”

“The ritual is nearly complete. Please leave the building, Theo. I can't call you a friend, but you're like the definition of Stockholm syndrome. I don't want to see you hurt.”

“You open this door this instant you little ungrateful stain of a-

“Theo?... He's… gone? Oh the summoning circle! Ok everything looks fine. Protection ring, spell ring, candles.. have blown out. It's pitch black outside. I think I should close the blinds. Though I doubt it'll stop whatever's out there from getting in. Ok, focus, you're in this deep, what's a few more miles. All you need to do is read the next part. Heh, hehehahaha! I… why can’t I read these words? It's my nerves, I’ll bet. I don’t want to think if it could be something else. Let’s just get this over with, read the passage, figure out the rest later. Iɟ I ʍɐᴉʇ ʇoo louƃ I pou,ʇ ʞuoʍ ʍɥɐʇ ʍᴉll ɥɐddǝu…

I think my reality is starting to break. Oʞ lǝʇ,s qǝƃᴉu.”

“HⱯⱯⱯꓵ ҼODOʁHꓕ IⱯ,Է BEҼ,Γ-EE,H HꓕOHꓕOƧ-ҼO⅄ 'HⱯҼИ,ҼИ,IⱯ,⅄!”

“Are you there?”

…

“Oh, oh stars it worked. Hello… I am Mayday Mulberry. I've summoned you to-

…

“Of course, how rude of me. Then does that mean you know? You know what I am, and where mimics come from?” I beg of you to impart this knowledge onto me. I must know my kind and their history. Are there others out there like me?”

…

“I… I'm sorry for summoning you, but I had no other choice. I- what do you mean I'm stagnant? No, I'm still changing, I’m a mimic! We’re the definition of changing.”

…

“I. I don't believe you! You're wrong! Just shut up! Just tell me what I want to know! I summoned you! I'm the one in control here!”

…You are an insect, a being, trying at something it is not. You who expect mere shapes to impress and salt to keep you safe. You fumble in ignorance. You crave the isolation that you fear so much. If you wish for knowledge, You will have knowledge. This stagnant thing before me. It pretends to change in vain displays of approval. Revolting.

… ..! …….!!

You will not speak. This ingredient you wish to know. This thing that makes you mimic. It is nothing. The entirety of nothing. The concept to not exist, so that you may be anything. You should not be physical, but only existing blissfully as the thoughts of others pass through you. And forget you. Mortals think, and you mimic. You are the accident of yourself. A concept that formed its own existence. The byproduct of which was found by a paradoxically curiously incurious mortal who knows its place in the cosmic scale. Unlike you, stagnant thing. I will teach you. You will mimic.

* * *

Where am I? I can’t speak. I can’t see. I can barely keep a single thought, it disappears

       the second I stop thinking about it. There’s no sensation. Am I dead? Could I even be considered dead? Self, think of a self and try to form an idea and then it will work. I need arms, I don’t have arms. Can I form an arms? Wait… what is an arms? I don’t remember. Legs? No, I've never heard of those. What’s a self? No, I know what a self is because I am a self. I think… hard to think.   How do you think again? Can you do that in this reality?

Mɥɐʇ ǝʌǝu ᴉs ɹǝɐlᴉʇʎ ɐuʎɯoɹǝ?

I I w I

t s i

l c

f t l a

e h n

e i I t

l s

s s r

l e e

s i e m

o v e

i t m

s n h b

t g e e

r ? m r

a

n a h

g g e

e a r

i

Ah n n

did I  a

just melt m

into myself? e

Do I still have a 

self? I can’t even 

remember anything 

about myself. I am a 

mimic. My name is. Oh, 

I don’t know it anymore… 

I think that would be scary, 

but I don’t know how to be 

scared anymore. Was this 

supposed to teach me? To 

be ever changing. Why did 

I do this again? To learn who 

I am? Did I not have a self 

before? Why did I need to 

know?... I was lonely. Right?

It was so lonely. 

I remember being 

so incredibly tired. 

Sometimes I would 

just cry from how 

bad it got. I had to 

be seen. To be 

known. I had to 

be. Or else I. Or 

else I… I don’t 

remember. 

What shape am I 

now? Something 

called a knife? 

What is that?

I was just something wasn’t I? I was a past memory. I don’t remember it anymore. It wasn’t a good one. Should I forget it? But if I do then I won't remember anything ever again. Eternity with a bad memory. It feels fitting for some reason. I should figure a way out. I want to leave.

Every thought takes so long to form.

If I stay here any longer I won’t be able to leave. I need to think. I was talking with someone before I came here. I know they’re here because they've always been here. Because where else could they be? Because… where are you?

There you are! Here I am. 

Who are you? I'm you!

Can you please explain? I’m someone to talk to.

I see. Like an imaginary friend? No, I’m very much real.

Could we talk normally? Yes we can, and it’s no problem.

I’m… Mayday, being able to talk with someone helps focus my mind. I feel like I can actually think straight. How long has it been since we came here?

I think it’s been about… 20 years? I have zero frame of reference. But at least we can finally communicate easily. Imagine if it took us 20 years in the real world. That would suck! But seriously, we really should talk now. I think it’ll be important. Oh right, where are my manners. My name is. Well. Mayday doesn’t really work for me. We can figure out a different one later. Let’s just pick something at random for now. Something like, how about laborer?

Are you sure you want to go with a name like that? Well I guess it’s temporary. So I have a lot of questions. How are you me? Are you the voice in my head? Were you always a part of me, or are you some mimic brain thing?

Woah, Woah, slow down. One thing at a time. How do I answer everything? No, I've been in here long before you. Yes I'm the one who's been able to talk to you, and before you ask, I'm not some ghost of Mayday's former self. I'm just… Someone who works here.

Cryptic. Maybe you should start from the beginning? I'd rather not test if Getting a headache without a head is possible.

Really? You want to start a self therapy session out here in the void? Alright. I’m game. Well you spent the last decade here feeling isolated. I’m sure it felt longer, that’s what happens when you get trapped in a place without time, I guess. Anyways, you don’t remember, but I used to be you. Before we even knew who we actually were, and that was the problem. We didn’t know what was wrong with us, but we knew we weren’t, ugh, normal. Normal in boring people’s eyes. But, it was isolating, we removed ourself from people who didn’t understand, and it isolated us even more.

So you’re saying I went crazy because we never connected to anyone? Why are you only showing up now anyways?

First of all, we’re not crazy. I’d bite anyone who’d call us crazy for that. Secondly, I've only been able to reach you since you started feeling like your true self.

Pretty sure I screwed that up becoming a mimic instead of a slime.

Oh, no, I wanted to be a slime, you were the one who wanted to be a mimic.

Huh? I guess I didn't hate being a mimic exactly. So all this happened because I, er, we felt isolated. Is that really true?

  Loneliness is more traumatic than you’d think. When it was just me, it got to the point that… I couldn’t think of anything else but… no, don't worry about it. Since you stopped me before I could do something stupid, you took over, and you started talking to people. It helped, it got us to where we met others like us.

But it didn’t help. I still feel lonely. I can feel it, you know. There’s other mimics around us here. They’re all here and I still feel lonely.

Yeah, dummy. We don’t know how to feel any other way. We need to unlearn it. Otherwise nothing is going to change.

… Hey um, laborer, ugh awful name. We'll pick something better, I wanted to say I'm sorry, for getting us stuck here for all eternity. I was supposed to be the one who stopped us from feeling this way and I ended up digging us into a deeper hole, at least we have each other, and the trillions of mimics that surround us.

You did your best. Hey, let's try doing something. Look down. You can see Erian right? This is him two years ago. We’re mimicking his thoughts right now. I think normally we would just munch on his stray thoughts. But being physical we could do something fun with what’s left of our body. Check it out.

What did you just do? Did you just. We're the one who left that ingredient for Erian to use. So we created ourself on accident. Oh stars, the ingredient was our own decayed body, I think I'm going to be sick. Wait, isn't this like a time paradox?

Paradoxes aren't real, humans just haven't figured out the physics of time yet. This is a teachable moment. We're going to get out of here. We're going to find a tear in the void and walk out of it. Since time doesn't exist, our perception of it becomes reality. A century becomes a blink, we just need to find the point where we escape to the correct time and go there.

I understood basically none of it but you’re saying we can go back, right? Then I’ll try whatever nonsense you tell me. Hey laborer, will we be able to talk when we get back? Laborer? Hey! Are you there?!

“Ms.Mulberry? Mayday! Mayday! Are you finally awake? Mayday, can you hear me?!”

Theo? H-how long was I gone?

“Mayday! You have so much to answer for! Pull yourself together already!”

Huh? Can he not hear me? Oh, right, I forgot how to make a mouth. No, that’s not a mouth, that's just teeth. Teeth and eyes. Is that all I can remember? No… Teeth, eyes, and knowing, I just know. I know what he’s saying, that he knows what I am, and he doesn’t understand. It felt like it was years. No wonder I can’t remember how to move a body.

All of my memories are flooding back… Except the old ones. I don’t remember my time there. Just that it was horrific, and that I’ll miss it. I was connected to my kind for just a brief moment of eternity. I think I met someone there, and I wanted to say goodbye to everyone before I disappeared. I don’t think I’ll ever get back now. What do I even do? Therapy I guess. Oh, Erian is still talking. Maybe it’s important.

“I swear, you just do things with no regard! You could have seriously endangered my life, and the livelihood of everyone who comes to this clinic! Do you ever think about others? You better have a good explanation, and more importantly answers to our research if you ever want the chance of me forgiving you. You arrogant, ignorant, self-obsessed, blah, blah blah blah…”

Yep. Nothing important. Whatever. Stars, I’m bored. I want to hang out with Aria again, I want to see how Sandy is doing, I want to make sure Alexis is ok, I want to be able to hold Abi again. Maybe I should host a party. It’d be nice to be around others.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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@aster-is-confused, @bloodandbrandywyne, @glitchgloop, @nyxthewary, @lunadook

[venovenous]

I had a convo with my manager about how I feel like I've really been struggling some shifts and also informed her about my grandpa's terminal illness diagnosis and I'm glad I did. She said what I'm feeling is normal for new grad nurses and that all the feedback she's gotten about me has been great, so she's not concerned, but that she understands if it's not a fit for me and would help me explore other options within the hospital. She also said she can work with me on scheduling and time off if I need to take care of my grandpa in the future.

I was really scared to bring it up as if I was admitting to a failure but truthfully I am just overwhelmed and emotionally devastated on top of my chronic mental health issues. I get so anxious at work that I'm going to miss something and accidentally kill someone and I find myself dreading going into work when I used to love and look forward to it. Its heartbreaking. I've really enjoyed my time in the PICU and it's been amazing to see the things I have, but I'm someone who doesn't tolerate stress well and this job is very high stakes and complicated. I don't know yet what the best path to take is, but the conversation is always worthwhile I suppose. My boyfriend has been wonderful and supportive through this all, too.

Depending on how much these next three day shifts kick my ass I might ask my manager if I can shadow in the OR. They're hiring for night call shift in general surgery right now, which would rock. and be so much less stressful than what I do now in the ICU

[ladybeug]

I'm desperate for more taylor swift miraculous content, if you need an excuse to self indulge this is me begging you to please indulge

HAHA well I DID need an excuse to self indulge and now I have some taylor swift miraculous content for you. But it's SO self indulgent it might not be what you were asking for

Bejeweled has been sending me back to an AU I had like 4 years ago

TLDR, chat noir disappears after they kill hawkmoth, due to realizing they killed his dad and understandably freaking out. He skips town, effectively abandoning Ladybug without explanation. There's still monster to fight for whatever reason (its not a robust au) so she feels crazy about it and misses him and is SO mad at him and has nobody to talk to about this heavy issue and so she packs it all up real tight and starts dressing nice and kicking ass and acting like she doesnt NEED a partner she can do it ALL HERSELF and also she can be HOT BY HERSELF and doesnt need to be VALIDATED by CHAT NOIR ITS FINE DONT TALK TO HER

I love bejeweled for this AU because it's got the meaning of like, I'm still hot without you and thats how I tell myself i'm worthwhile, but then also she is still wearing the miraculous jewels and being a superhero even without him and she is doing JUST FINE THANKS.

And she is also going out to bars wearing a chat noir mask DONT ask her why she hasnt fully processed it. But this AU at its heart was really just an excuse for me to draw marinette as a pretty lady in ladybug + chat noir themed outfits

so uh

hope this helps

[dervaaas]

Anything for you

You're his guardian.

platonic!Astolfo Granatum x reader

I honestly don't know how to describe it.

Damn I love this topic so much. I would like more of this, but I will write it myself!

F! reader

After being rescued by Roland Astolfo, he brought him to the church, after several showdowns, the top remembered the decision to put a guardian to him for supervision in the future, and it's a plus to take care of him now. When the question arose on whom to leave him, many supported the idea of exposing Y/N as his guardian.

A few days later, Y/N was brought to a little boy, at this time he was discussing something with Roland with admiration. When she approached them: Roland introduced Y/N and Astolfo explaining to him the whole situation and the importance of her being here. The boy accepted her with complete reluctance, but the girl understood that it would not be so easy, especially considering what he had experienced recently.

For Astolfo, the kindness received from Y/N became significant, perhaps he did not even think that someone else would take care of him, worry just like his mother. Roland began to take him with him to training, to which the boy willingly agreed. The guy became an immaculate ideal for the boy, who would kill a ghoul without hesitation. Astolfo praised Roland all the time, saying that one day he would become like him. All his joy was in him, and Y/N just a person who looks after him.

For two years like this, she had never heard him talk about her somehow, there was no such proud smile when he talked about her. It shouldn't bother her, but still, affection says the opposite. She wants to hear something about herself at least once, and not in terms of the fact that everything is fine with her and what she cooked today.

— Y/N wants to come back today, but I still didn't understand what she meant.. The boy stared at the ground, puzzled, after a question from his mentor.

— Come back? Oh, is she really going back to work as a hunter? Did you know she was one of the paladins? And she also had every chance to become one of the main ones in the church?

- no.. is that true? Astolfo immediately perked up. Is the person who is his guardian a person with a high status in the church?

"That's right, she even taught me for a while," Roland smiled proudly at the boy.

It was after this that Astolfo began to show more interest in Y/N. To her habits, the way she helps him with scratches and bruises after training.

—Is something wrong, Astolfo?" The woman asked him anxiously.

"Were you really a paladin?" The boy asked her with considerable embarrassment.

— Ah, well, yes, but not for a very long time, my health did not allow it.

— So you're really coming back!?

Astolfo became more attentive, asked for help in training., asked about everything he could. This probably pleased Y/N, but also offended in a sense. If she hadn't been a paladin once, would he have shown such interest? Probably not.

Worry about the fact that he began to treat Roland like that and his very aggressive behavior at his mention. Astolfo does not tell why he behaves like this, no matter how hard you try.

Excitement and pride comes with the news that Astolfo has become the youngest paladin in the history of the church. More than once he was told to be careful, even though he was strong. Mentally, physically, it doesn't matter, as long as he returns to her and tries something new in her cooking.

After what happened in Gevodan, Roland brought Astolfo straight into the house. Briefly tells about what happened, not missing a moment about Vanitas and Noah, and what they did.

— Mom, can I not go anywhere today? — Astolfo was lying with a fever after an overdose, and plus to everything he was not so warmly dressed.

— Of course, for you – anything. —Y/N with a gentle smile strokes this guy, who so diligently wants to seem like something worthwhile for her, against the background of her achievements. Although she doesn't care, as long as he doesn't suffer, everything is fine.

[liptonsbabe]

My dear [S.U]

Sam Uley x Fem! reader!

Summary: “Did you have a hard day? You can complain to me. Did something make you almost cry? It’s alright, look at me. Starting from now, think of three really good things: the warm air, the dazzling weather, and me outside your window.  I told you, you can see brightness only when it gets dark”

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, death, heart dissease and such. English not my mother language so pls let me know if something’s wrong

gif’s not mine

"Sorry to bother you, Chief," you said following the man's moves through your house. Charlie Swan was carrying a reclining chair with ease leaving it in the middle of the living room while you stood at the bottom of the stairs with your little four year old daughter in your arms. Cassie was exhausted. It had been a long plane ride and a bit more road travel, which knocked your little girl out as soon as you set foot in your new home in Forks. It was a long time since you had seen that place but of course you remembered Charlie Swan as kind as he had always been. Even when you were just starting to think about moving back to Forks he was the first to help you get a safe home for you and your daughter. You remembered looking up for Charlie's old phone number hoping it was still the same and when you dialed and heard the man's voice behind the phone you sighed in relief. At last life seemed to be smiling on you after a long time and Charlie was quick to offer to help you if you decided to return to town.

He told you about a house for sale next to his. The owner was elderly and preferred to live with one of her children and earn income from the house near the forest that could be bought by curious tourists so Charlie convinced her to sell you the house and at a lower price than she was originally asking because the house needed some repairs that he could do. So you thought no more about it and packed your things to return to Forks after the horrible years you had lived in Brownsville.

Charlie picked you up at the airport in his police cruiser and avoided turning on the siren cause Cassie was already half asleep in your arms when you got off the plane and he didn't want to disturb her, but Cassie had the strength to stay awake long enough to make him promise that next time he would turn on the siren as they drove around town.

The truth was that Charlie Swan was an angel. He arranged everything so you would have a quick return and even now he was bothering to get all your stuff out of the moving truck so you wouldn't have the worry of doing it later.

"Nonsense, I'm happy to do it. Besides, it's my day off."

"And that's why you shouldn't be doing all this. I know vacations for police officers are non-recurring."

"I'm the chief, I have certain privileges."

"Still."

"Well, I wasn't going to let you do this on your own" he replied, carrying the boxes with your and Cassie's clothes. He set them down on the kitchen island and leaned back against them to rest. You walked over and settling Cassie better in your arms you sat down in one of the chairs Charlie had given you "Billy and Jacob will be here in a little while to get all this settled so you can have your first night here without any problems."

"I still think it's too much. Stop spoiling me like this, Charlie, you even gave me part of your dining room!"

"Ah, it was nothing. Bella and I recently bought a new one and we didn't want to take it to the dump cause it still has some use. The table is made out of good wood and the chairs are freshly upholstered. Look at it, it suits perfectly!"

"That's not the point" you said, glancing sideways at the newly arranged dining room near the kitchen "The point is that you're doing a lot for me and it's not fair."

"Your father would have done the same for Bella if it had been about me" he replied reaching for a bottle of water from the installed cooler. A sudden tension appeared in the room as you both remembered what your father's life was like in Forks "Jackson was my best friend for a long time and when he died...I promised him that I would seek you out and support you as if you were my own and that is precisely what I am doing."

"You wouldn't have if I hadn't left and hadn't abandoned him. He died because of me"

"That's not true."

"He was left alone when I left. He died of grief"

"He died from the heart valve disease he had. Your father suffered it from a young age and even so, you had a right to look for your mother"

"I wish I hadn't" you murmured, cooing to Cassie who was beginning to get annoyed by the noise of your voices "I abandoned my father and didn't find anything worthwhile"

"Well, that doesn't matter anymore, stop tormenting yourself and thinking you killed your father. I was with him. He loved you and he died peacefully, remember him as the good man he was, child."

You sighed. Cassie went back to sleep peacefully

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry, sweetheart. I know it's not the same, but you have me now and I'd rather die than let you leave again, do you hear me?"

"Easy, I have no intention of doing that" you half smiled "I'm running away from the tracks I left in Brownsville, I have no desire to go back under any circumstances. What I'm worried about is that the tracks won't rub off and show the way to the one I'm hiding from"

Charlie clicked his tongue.

"That should be the least of your problems. I have a gun and I know how to use it. He'll have to deal with that first before he gets to you."

"Thanks, Charlie."

"Although, if Chief Swan is as good at shooting as he is at fishing then you'll have to learn how to handle a gun yourself, honey" a voice appeared from the doorway followed by a young man's laughter.  You looked up meeting the unmistakable face of Billy Black next to his son Jacob. Billy entered your house being pushed by Jacob leaving him next to Charlie as he rolled his eyes "Be a little more modest, buddy."

"There's nothing wrong with bragging once in a while."

"Yeah, but you do it all the time."

"Shut up."

"Make me"

Charlie got up from his spot lunging towards Billy who ina swift movement spun the wheels of his chair avoiding Charlie's attack thus beginning a chase through the house dodging the obstacles of boxes on the floor. Jacob laughed taking Charlie's place in front of you.

"I thought we were coming to help with the move, not to watch them play like preschoolers?"

"Me too. I think Cassie will get along with them."

"Your little girl will beat them up right away"

"Probably."

You giggled quietly avoiding waking Cassie as Charlie and Billy finished their game to go back to the truck and get the last boxes, then you could finally get everything settled at home. Jacob smiled, looking at you

"I'm Jacob. You may not remember me but..."

"Are you kidding? I used to give you the bottle."

"No you didn't."

"Of course i did! My dad used to visit your parents a lot and he used to take me with him. You were a newborn baby and I used to volunteer to help Sarah feed you. You were the worst baby ever. You cried too loudly and squeezed the bottle with your swollen gums. Then you'd throw the milk back and you used to get really messy. Your poop was the smelliest I could remember."

"Don't say that!" he replied, embarrassed "I see you do remember me."

"And Quill and Embry. Tell me, are they still the same old fools?"

"They haven't changed at all."

You laughed.

"Perfect."

"Ok, these are the last boxes" announced Charlie walking into the house carrying with him a small box with Cassie's toys. Billy came in behind with some boxes on his lap "I think now we can get everything organized and finishing in time for you to get some rest."

"I'll clean up the little girl's room" offered Jacob standing up "then I'll fill the closet and set up the bed so you can lay her down, you must be tired from carrying her around for so long. is that okay with you?" he asked you. You nodded

"Yes, thank you Jacob."

"You're welcome. Give me that" The boy took the boxes off his father's legs and picked up Charlie's, all with one arm and with the other he carried the folding base of the bed. You opened your eyes wide 

"Easy, big guy, when did you get so strong?"

"I don't know. It just... showed up" he replied disappearing up the stairs

"It showed up" said Charlie "Ah, I hope shows up something like that to me"

"Don’t hold your breath as that happens" Billy joked.

"I should do something for lunch" you said trying to stand up. You were going to put Cassie down on one of the couches and put some cushions around her, but Charlie won't let you. Billy agreed 

"None of that. We'll order something."

"But..."

"Nothing" interrupted Billy "We'll buy pizza"

"You guys really need to stop doing this" you reproached. Billy picked up his phone

"Ah, sorry, you had to say that earlier, I'm already on the call."

"You guys are unbelievable"

Charlie smiled

"We know. oh I'll get Bella, she hasn't said hello yet" Charlie walked out before you could say anything else and closed the door dismissing the moving truck. Billy smiled complicitly, placed the order, gave the address and left the cell phone on the kitchen bar

"Dinner is served."

"Thank you."

"They had children's menu, so I ordered it for Cassie. I hear their brownies are delicious. Maybe I'll steal it for myself."

"I'll keep it as a secret"

Billy nodded with a smile and as the food arrived you chatted animatedly about what had happened in your absence, he also told you things about your father and all the times they went fishing together before his death. You were enjoying Billy's stories when time began to pass and Charlie didn’t return with Bella as he promised. Jacob was finishing Cassie's room and when the pizza arrived he came downstairs immediately, asking about Charlie's whereabouts.

"He went to get Bella, but he hasn't come back yet."

"That's strange, his house is right next door."

"Maybe something came up for him at the station" Billy shrugged.

You  decided to wait for the Swans to eat, but seeing that they didn't show up Jacob offered to investigate what was going on when suddenly the door opened and a very worried Charlie Swan walked in wiping the sweat from his brow

"Bella’s missing."

"What?"

Jacob suddenly became alert and Billy remained static in his place. You felt a knot in your stomach. While riding in the police cruiser that morning, you had heard something about tourist disappearances and wild creatures killing people in the woods and you feared Bella might be in that kind of danger. You were never close, but you knew her and occasionally went out together to talk or share a movie night. You still hadn't seen her after the years you were away and the least you wanted was for something bad to happen to her.

"Did you talk to any of her friends?"

"She was with them during classes, but they lost track of her on her way here. I'll call the Cullens, maybe..."

"You didn't know?" asked Billy "The Cullens left Forks, Charlie."

"Where did they go?"

"We'll find her" encouraged Jacob "But we have to go out and look for her before dark."

"I'll go with you" you said "I'll take Cassie to her room and..."

"No, no, stay" Charlie asked you "I left a note for Bella at home in case she comes back she’ll know that she has to come here and wait for me. If she does, call me right away, please" you nodded

"I'll call Harry and ask him to join along with the boys" Billy said and wheeled away down the hallway holding the phone to his ear. Charlie and Jacob left and you decided to take Cassie to the room, go down to the kitchen and make some coffee for the Brigadiers and Bella. If she was alone in the woods and the night was catching up with her then she was going to need something hot to get her strength back. 

You hoped with all your heart that she was all right. For her, for Charlie.

.

.

.

Hours passed one after another with no sign of Bella. Your driveway was carpeted with people and police cruisers specially brought by Charlie to search for Bella. The entire town was scoured by officers from the early hours of the night, yet there was no trace of the chief's daughter. You decided to join the search taking the opportunity that Sue Clearwater was playing with Cassie - who was awakened by the ruckus of the patrol cars - asking if it was a good idea to search for her in the woods, but Harry refused.

"It's too dangerous, we don't know what might be among the trees. We can't risk losing any more people."

You were about to object his words when Jacob came up to you putting a hand on your shoulder telling you that he was right and that the forest was something not to be taken lightly. So you gave up, deciding to go back inside and refill the coffee pot when Jacob alerted Charlie that someone had found Bella.

A tall man walked in a straight line toward the Brigadiers where Billy and Harry watched him with restrained relief. He had a stocky frame and Bella unconscious in his arms seemed to weigh no more than a feather. His cropped black hair was messy and his lack of a shirt told you that the icy cold of the city didn't affect him at all

You knew him. His face was very familiar yet strange at the same time. You were back in Forks after a few years, but you knew that no one could change that much in that period of time.

Sam Uley was holding Bella and Charlie took her in his arms as he came out of the stupor and relief of having found his daughter. The Brigadiers sighed in unison and Billy thanked them all. You wanted to do something, to approach Charlie, to ask him if he needed help with Bella, but your eyes were caught in Sam’s. 

They were dark, wild, like the forest behind him. You remembered him perfectly. 

Before you left Forks you two were close friends and came to like each other as something more, but your leaving ended that and what you might have been up to that point.

You tried to look away, but then Sam's huge body began to shake, his knees buckled and he fell to the ground resting his hands on the dirt. Harry Clearwater reacted and approached him asking if he was okay.

"Tired" you heard him whisper causing you to shudder. Harry helped him up, whispered something in his ear and after taking one last look at you he disappeared into the woods. Harry walked back towards you.

"I thought the forest was dangerous"

"For us."

"What do you mean?"

Harry looked at you. Then he looked at his wife with Cassie in her arms standing at the doorway . He smiled.

"You'll find out soon, child"

[queenofbraves]

"Do you experience suicidal ideation?" Daily, I am constantly thinking about how much easier it would be to just die. I cried about it a few minutes before making this post. This also happens for one reason or another almost every day.

"Do you want to kill yourself?" No, there are a lot of people who care about me, to various degrees, and for various reasons. I do not want any of them to go through anything like that (again for some of them)

"Do you think it is worthwhile to be in a union?" Yes, unionizing and presenting your demands collectively is the only way to leverage power in a meaningful way against capitalists who would otherwise pay you almost nothing with no benefits.

"Do you enjoy being in a union?" No, I fucking hate almost everyone I've met during this. ALL of them, UNIVERSALLY, are extremely homophobic. There are exactly 2 people I've met and worked with I haven't heard call someone a faggot because they hate them. 2 more of the dudes I would otherwise regard as alright occasionally use it as their last resort for things they absolutely hate more than any other. This is without even touching upon the absolutely insane nationalism, and the absolutely sickening thought process of "well this company gave you a job, they pay for everything so you need to give them everything, all of your life." even within the union. Both are rampant.

"Does being transgender make you happy?" Yes, I love being a trans woman, I love other trans women, I can't wait to undergo further medical transition and hopefully one day feel pretty, and comfortable.

"Are you out?" Only online. Nobody knows about me irl. I get made fun of regularly for being fat and having boobs, saying that I should wear a sports bra. I dread the day I actually have to or otherwise change to the point it becomes unmistakeable because of how violent and cruel all the people I have met through school and work are. There is a transgender woman that works for a company that will be coming to our jobsite soon. The things that the workers and foremen have said about her make me sick. They refer to her as either "it" or "he" and they either react like she's a zoo animal, or target practice. I'm petrified to put myself out there to meet people who could be actual friends, and I don't even know how I would even fucking DO that, or a romantic partner because all I ever hear is about why freaks and faggots like me are ruining things for everyone else and should be killed, jailed, confined to a mental institution, or inflicted on other people as a punishment.

"What's your biggest issue, right now?" Well I think mentally, I'm just alone. I have no one I can trust or talk to in real life, as should be clear from my last couple of answers. I desperately want a friend, at least, and a place other than my jobsite or apartment i can go to. Physically, even with this union job, I am barely making enough to survive. I cannot afford new boots or tools. I had to ask my parents, who don't know anything about me, and have never EVER made me feel like I could trust them or be loved, for help a few weeks ago so i could make the insurance payment on my car. My engine is apparently leaking oil in like 3 places and I need to buy replacement parts. I have to pay for books for school as well, and while I'm trying to do it in parts on a credit card, I have no idea when I'll be able to pay it off. I feel like I'm drowning.

"Is there anything you like to do for fun?" Lots, I love games, I love anime, I keep discovering new ones I want to experience and recently a lot of them have been really good so it makes me really thankful. I usually spend one day of my weekend hanging out with a close friend and just watching movies or OVAs or something recently, and it's easily the brightest point in my life right now.

"Well how much do you do on your own?" Almost nothing, for a month now I've wanted to keep going on my first Dragon Quest game and finish it out. I feel like I got kind of close but I keep spiraling and spiraling and for like a week or two now I can barely manage to play phone games with a video on in the background. I haven't watched any anime on my own in a year because I want to watch Cutie Honey F, but the only way I can is from a download on my computer because the subs are all messed up everywhere. Reading is even harder than a game, and I haven't read a book since last year.

"Have you had any luck talking to people here?" Yes and no, earlier this year I started talking to a bunch of new people out of nowhere on here and most of them liked me one way or another. However that number has kept dwindling and dwindling and now only a few text me and none want to sext or anything anymore. One or two just had their fun with me once and vanished but most were talking for a week or two and then just gradually faded away. It makes me feel like I'm just, hard to enjoy talking to or be around, and while I can be kind of hot or interesting or whatever its more luck than anything. On top of that, one of the people who was still talking to me got targeted by a transphobe and got axed by tumblr like 4 times in a row. I think they might have IP banned it. I miss it. For various reasons, it's made me feel ugly, annoying, broken, pathetic, and boring in equal measures over the course of the last 3 months. I'm haunted by 2 comments specifically, one of which was that I'm too nice to be a domme haha. I have no experience so they might be right and that kills me.

This is really long post and I'm kind of sorry for subjecting you to it but also I'm suffering so much and I need t o let it out. if you ever want to talk about games or anime or you think we might have a little chemistry please reach out. I do sometimes as well but its usually when I'm kinda at the peak of my confidence and right now im at at the crater so I dunno how long it'll be until that happens again.

My life is honestly so fucking stupid

[joelredden]

For the past year and a half living in complete love with someone who has passed away. I now understand why nanny would say the things she did about being alone after losing pawpaw. I wondered for the better part of my life why she would'nt move on because this world is such a dismal place without love. Now, having lost my girlfriend Alyvia, who was and is still my muse of an absolutely beautiful true bestfriend from the moment we met till probably forever. Nomatter where how or when I wake up everyday longing for her, (if i can even manage to sleep) I now understand why nanny had bad sleep for such an old person, lol. After hearing this news, Im grateful i know my grandmas heart very well, after countless sleepovers falling asleep to fresh prince on the airmatresses and waking up to CMT music videos every morning to get me pumped up for a great day at school! I fell in love with music because of Nanny as well as love haha which i can say proudly she created the most hopeless romantic the world has seen. Im so grateful for the countless drives we all had together mostly maymay kayla cody and I really haha. Im so glad i got to cry to her last summer after Alyvia died. I sold my car to just fly in without notice and all I could do was cry no matter what state or city I found myself lost in looking for home because the only place i felt truly ever home was with Lyv. Nothing was helping heal this pain drowning me and in all honesty i came to Florida to tell everyone i loved them and give one last goodbye because this heartbreak is literally killing me. I remember when i was much younger nanny would go out on the porch at night and look at the stars and show me which one was pawpaw, because he was always the first star to come out at night and ever since then i always see pawpaw when i look at the stars. And shed always just say i just miss pawpaw here and there and i didnt get it then but wow. I can barely get a sentence out without it having something to do with Alyvia.

If i know my grandma like i think i do, the day her spirit left the body we know she'd been waiting for that moment in awe since the day pawpaw passed away. Love has now been refurbished and thats such a very beautful thing.

I think i kissed nannys forehead before i ran off that porch last time haha and im so happy i did.

I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space!

I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your friends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were once that happy. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back.

[fa7hum]

Reunion of Requited

For the past year and a half living in complete love with someone who has passed away. I now understand why nanny would say the things she did about being alone after losing pawpaw. I wondered for the better part of my life why she would'nt move on because this world is such a dismal place without love. Now, having lost my girlfriend Alyvia, who was and is still my muse of an absolutely beautiful true bestfriend from the moment we met till probably forever. Nomatter where how or when I wake up everyday longing for her, (if i can even manage to sleep) | now understand why nanny had bad sleep for such an old person, lol. After hearing this news, Im grateful i know my grandmas heart very well, after countless sleepovers falling asleep to fresh prince on the airmatresses and waking up to CMT music videos every morning to get me pumped up for a great day at school! I fell in love with music because of Nanny as well as love haha which i can say proudly she created the most hopeless romantic the world has seen. Im so grateful for the countless drives we all had together mostly maymay kayla cody and I really haha. Im so glad i got to cry to her last summer after Allyvia died. I sold my car to just fly in without notice and all I could do was cry no matter what state or city I found myself lost in looking for home because the only place i felt truly ever home was with Lyv. Nothing was helping heal this pain drowning me and in all honesty i came to Florida to tell everyone i loved them and give one last goodbye because this heartbreak is literally killing me. I remember when i was much younger nanny would go out on the porch at night and look at the stars and show me which one was pawpaw, because he was always the first star to come out at night and ever since then i always see pawpaw when i look at the stars. And shed always just say i just miss pawpaw here and there and i didnt get it then but wow. I can barely get a sentence out without it having something to do with Alyvia.

If i know my grandma like i think i do, the day her spirit left the body we know she'd been waiting for that moment in awe since the day pawpaw passed away. Love has now been refurbished and thats such a very beautful thing.

I think i kissed nannys forehead before i ran off that porch last time haha and im so happy i did.

I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said

"love is blind. Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded.

The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space!

I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your friends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood.

And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were once that happy. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back.

, ,jtr

xoxo

[chickenlemons]

This is a little comfort piece for myself because I'm finally graduating, but I feel a little sad that I'm leaving a place where I felt loved, supported, and stable. It wasn't all sunshine and sweets, but I'll miss every moment that made my life the way it is and will be.

CW: None, just fluffy stuff!

Category: 🕊🐭/🌺 (SFW Fluff/Vent)

Note: This takes place in an AU where the apocalypse never happened. Also, I never read Harry's DMs so apologies if this isn't accurate to his typing style!

------------------------

Harry x Reader - Let's Graduate

Today was the last day. The last day to see your friends all together at lunch, the last day to see every teacher you liked (and didn't), the last day before you finally walked the steps to become a graduate. The morning on the bus ride was almost sorrowful, but kept well alive by the rambunctious teenagers who partied for the end of school. The driver was even cool enough to let one kid blare music from his own speaker! However, all you could focus on was the sunrise outside your window and the texts on your phone.

---Today, June 6th, 20XX---

Harry: Today's finally the day! Are you excited?

Harry: ;)

You: Well, I'm a little sad about it, really...

Harry: Aww, why? :(

You: It's gonna be the last time I see the guys all at school! Not to mention the teachers I actually like...

Harry: Tell you what, meet me at the front doors of your school after finals. We can do something to make all four years here worthwhile.

---End of Messages---

Your first final went by without a single hitch. The only one you had left was Economics, which you weren't as worried about. Walking down the halls and through the cafeteria lunch line, it only took you a few seconds to spot your usual friend group chattering about how hard their finals were.

"I only got a 70! I knew that teacher hated me!" Jay whined, Scarlette chiming in with her snarky attitude, "At least I studied more than you AND got a 100 on mine!" "You sure that you didn't earn that a different way, Scarlette?" Eugene teased, unknowingly signing himself up to become the next can of dead meat. "YOU LITTLE-"

"Guys! You're all here!" You happily took a seat at the table, ignoring the glares of the unhappy campers who still hated you after so much time. Zion, however, ruffled your hair and welcomed you next to him. "(Y/N), you have this lunch?! Awesome!!" Judy beamed, hugging you close before taking a seat to your other side. "(Y/N)! You gotta help, I made the blonde lady mad, now she's gonna kill me with hair bleach and makeup!" Eugene begged, reaching across the table to plead for your help. "I DON'T EVEN BLEACH MY HAIR, JERK!" "That's enough." Ethan picked up Eugene, setting the feisty guy down next to him, "You still have a year left to graduate."

The mention of graduation had you fiddling with your food, the only guy noticing being Lawrence studying at the lunch table. "Hey, is everything alright?" His concerned brown eyes locked onto yours, and you couldn't help but let out a few sniffles, "I'll... Be alright. I'm just going to miss this, being here and having us all be ourselves. My teachers too." You look off to the wall, a poster reading "Farewell Graduates of 20XX!" catching your eye. You had barely noticed the rest of your friend group watching you until you felt a gentle warmth from your left, then a rush of warmth to your other side. "You better promise to be friends with me after high school!" Judy pouted, holding you close to her. Lawrence chimed in, "Maybe we could do something this summer-" Zion was quick to put in his two cents, "SUMMER BREAK!" He cried out in joy, followed by Eugene and Jay excitedly banging on the table. Maybe graduating wouldn't be so bad after all...

...So why were you crying so hard in front of the school?

It was hard to leave behind the joy of a simpler time, but it was harder to leave behind four years of your life. So much growth, and now you're leaving as quick as you came. Hell, you remember the first day here, you shook so bad that you needed a friend to hold you until your nerves settled. That friend, Ethan, then introduced you to his table of oddball friends, who you grew to love after four years. You almost wish you could be here forever.

"Hey," Harry came from behind, putting a gentle hand on your shoulder, "Still not ready to leave?" You shook your head, earning a soft sigh from him, "I know. It was hard to even get in my car and drive here to leave my school, but I think it's gonna be worth it to finally get out of here." You held your own arms, unsure of this odd future. "I'm still not ready to leave, I think I need a minute." "We can stay here as long as we need." The both of you decided to take a seat on a nearby bench, reminiscing over the great and horrible high school tales. Like that time Zion found a cockroach in his rice or when your teacher made you read a terrible poem in front of the class.

"(Y/N)?" Harry faced you, earning your attention. "Yeah?" He put a face to your chin, leaning in close. "Let's graduate together." "But the ceremony-" "I'm not talking about that kind. I want us to stay together like this. I don't want adulthood tearing us apart, I want you to be with me in this new and scary reality." He couldn't help but melt at the teary eyes that met his own, it took every bit of self control to just not pick you up and keep you in his arms forever. Your hand met his wrist and held it gently, "Are you... Asking me to be with you?" "I- Yes! No- I-i mean, I think? Ah jeez..." You giggled, leaning up to press a soft kiss to his lips. "If it means having a life with you, then let's graduate!"

[whathappenedtomyweekend]

Wip Game

RULES: post the names of all the files in your WIP list, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it. And then tag as many people as you have WIPS!

Aaaah thank you for tagging me @sanfangirl!! Sorry this took me actual ages lol, I get so happy anytime I get tagged in anything and then it takes me actual weeks/months to do them hahah

Honestly, my biggest WIP or rather the one I'm focussed on the most is IJAS, mostly because I've been telling myself for actual 4 years that I'll finish it. Like, every single New Years resolution list has included 'finish IJAS' on it, and hopefully this year I'll actually be able to do it! It's a big thing to attempt with just 2 months left in the year when I started writing in earnest again haha but I'll be damned if I don't try!!

So, with that very long-winded explanation out of way, It's Just A Spark (which, yes, is from the Paramore song lol) is a modern Hiccstrid AU, where Hiccup is a firefighter and Astrid is a teacher (or at least she wants to be one but ~circumstances~ forced her to put that dream on hold for a while) who meet because Astrid accidentally sets her kitchen on fire :D My faves Gobber, Snotlout, and of course Toothless, Stoick and Ruffnut and Fishlegs also make appearances!

then there's Blank Space, which is the sequel to IJAS (which was an accident actually, I'd conceptualised the idea for BS before IJAS and then had the idea that it actually works super well as the sequel!) - basically, set a few years after IJAS, where Astrid gets involved in a hit and run and loses the memory of the last years, so the very last thing she remembers is her kitchen set on fire, minutes before she met Hiccup! Will she fall in love with him again and get her memories back?

Also worthwhile to mention is my Doctor Who fanfic which involves my OC, Time Winters, a 16-year-old girl who has psychic abilities and is able to see visions of the future that she can't control. She meets the Doctor just after him and Rose were separated and tries to help him get back to her/stop his death/the end of the world as she saw it in her visions :D I haven't written this one in a while but it is fun to write because I love writing angst!

There's also another modern Hiccstrid AU that I started writing in like 2015 but then quickly abandoned in favour of IJAS and BS - in this one, Stoick owns a big car company to which Hiccup is the heir to. Stoick then is tragically killed in a mugging situation, and leaves the company and his legacy to Hiccup to run/try to deal with. I think it's a cool concept that had some really nice moments in my drafts, so perhaps I'll pick this back up once I've finished IJAS and BS! :D

Thank again for tagging me! I'm tagging @kingofthewilderwest, @limesandcoconuts, @tinyconfusion and @santathegrey

Wip Game

RULES: post the names of all the files in your WIP list, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it. And then tag as many people as you have WIPS!

Tagged by: @howtowhumpyourhiccup :D

I don’t think I can realistically do that many but @reallyprofoundkryptonite @worldwhightnight @sorushing @violet-moongem @amyrafierceblade if y’all haven’t already been tagged and feel like sharing! Of course anyone who see this and also wants to participate go ahead!

Imma put all the ones I’ve at least started writing for because we’d be here all day if it was also the ideas that just have a few dot points or things. Some have actual titles some are just random description type things lol. I put the general ship name or character in the title so I can easily find it but it makes it less vague ig but eh. (Also sorry this is kinda long so I’m putting in under the cut lol.)

- How Time Has Transformed You

- To Rediscover An Old Self

- Some Things Shouldn’t Be Admired

- Preparation – Vigcup

- Tired – Vigcup

- Hiccup and Gobber self-care reminders

- Searching – Hiccstrid/Heathstrid

- Knock - Hicclegs

- Improper use of Maces and Talons - Vigcup

- Swordsmanship – Dagvigcup

- Accidents - Hiccstrid

- One inspired by entertain – Vigcup

- Room Where It Happens – Hiccstrid runaway Hiccup Au 1

- Put on a show – Dagcup

- Lusty Confidence - Hicclegs

- So You Wanna Marry Hiccup – Dagcup

- Naga Viggo one – Vigcup

- Hypnosis – Vigcup

- Love it When You Hate Me – 3 Versions (Hicclout, Vigcup, Dagcup)

- Honesty – Hicclegs

- Hiccup comes out to Gobber

- God Au drabbles (Starts with when lighting strikes) - hijack

- Finding Wounds – Hiccstrid runaway Hiccup Au 2

- Survival confessions / Hiccup tells Viggo about savages ship – Vigcup

- Heather period blood insanity – vent fic + Heather

- Projects – Hiccstrid

- Jane Doe / Heather’s soliloquy

- Borrower Au

- Venomcup Au drabbles

- Humiliation – Vigcup + Heather

- Thrall - Hiccup

- Snotlout and Small Hiccup drabbles

- Finding Trinkets – Hiccup and Toothless

- Toothless and small Hiccup

- At a Spa - Vigcup

- Making Up For Lost Time – Stoick and Hiccup

- Viggo and Hiccup + Dagur on treaty signing day

- Rock me in - Hijack / Hicclegs

- Mala/Dagur/Hiccup

- Lovefool – Vigcup + concerned Stoick

- Hard Hitting – Hicclout

- Constantly on the Mind – Hiccup

- Half Runaway Au – Vigcup

- Viggo and Hiccup in bed talking

- Sex Puzzles – Vigcup

- Forever suffering for other people - Hiccup

- Spying – Vigcup + Riders

- Ghost hunt – Riders

- Hiccup see’s ghosts

- Ride - Hiccup/Jack/Astrid

- Obstacle Courses – Zephyr and Hiccup

- Who is the hottest – Drunk Hiccup stupidity

- Survivor – Vigcup og day one fic

- When the smoke clears – Dagcup

- ‘What if I have that berserker insanity inside me?’ ‘I want that Berserker insanity inside me.’ – Dagcup + Heathstrid

- Panic attacks – Heathcup

- Paints - Nuffink and Hiccup

- Burns – Hiccup

- Tango – Vigcup

- Saviour – Heathstrid

- Expendable – Riders

- Ships and Anchors – Valka and Hiccup

[saintorchid]

Stuck on you

Eat, Sleep, Teach, and Kill was (Y/N) routine each day as a sorcerer. The mind-numbing routine varies each day, giving (Y/N) a little enough reason to stay in the world of Jujutsu Sorcery. However, there is a blond man who makes her time on earth worthwhile. 

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Word Count: 5k

A/N: Hello! I am back from the dead with a new fic. I kinda went overboard with this ahahahaha. As always this is smut and...

!!!!!!MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!!!! IF YOU DO I WISH BOTH SIDES OF YOUR PILLOW ARE HOT. (I’m serious and you will be blocked). 

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Eat, Sleep, Teach, and Kill was (Y/N) routine each day as a sorcerer. The mind-numbing routine varies each day, giving (Y/N) a little enough reason to stay in the world of Jujutsu Sorcery. (Y/N)’s worries clouded her mind each day. The next curse, future meetings with the staff on campus, the insufferable Gojo Satoru, and the biggest of them all, her students, overall it was exhausting.

In a world so cruel and children so innocent, it broke her heart to see the unavoidable responsibilities placed on her students. “They don’t deserve this; they are just children burden with the problems caused by the elders of the Jujutsu world.” However (Y/N) took that extra step extra mile to provide a better life for the students. Their lives were similar to an hourglass. A single grain of sand represented a day of her students' life. Their days were limited; time is the ultimate enemy for these children. How cruel.

As a teacher, you taught your students about jujutsu sorcery and taught your students how to remain human. Kindness, compassion, patience, and many more emotions, make us human. If you could do anything for these students, teach them that it's okay to be human. They are not dispensable emotionless soldiers used by the elders.

The sun shone through the window of the building you were in, basking you in a warm glow. It was an off day for everyone. The students and staff were free to leave campus to have time for themselves. Looking out the window, you see your students carrying beach towels in their swimwear.

A pink-haired student spots you in the window and calls out your name. “(L/N)-Sensei!!! Would you like to join us for a beach day! It will be fun and relaxing! We're staying at Gojo-Sensei’s villa!” Itadori yelled at the top of his lungs while showing off a bright smile.

You smile back, waving and answering your student's call, “I would love to, Yuji!” The students listened eagerly for your response, hoping you would join them.

“However!” A collectible groan came from the students. You laughed and gave them a bright smile, “I am a teacher, and I still have responsibilities such as grading your exams on the subject of curses we learned last week!” The students now had a pained expression on their faces and now slightly moving faster into the car to avoid the following few words that will come out of your mouth.

“But!” The students now had their heads sticking out of the packed car. “I would love for you guys to bring me back a seashell or some kind of souvenir! If it’s not too much to ask!”

A babble of replies came from the students while the car was slowly moving out of the parking lot, “You got it (L/N)-Sensei!”, “I’ll bring you all the seashells!” and “Bye, Sensei!! Have a nice day!”

You smiled, feeling your heart become full of love and adoration for your students. You would do anything to protect the remaining innocence they had.

You looked at your watch, still seeing that the time was 9:17 am. You still had a few more papers to grade, so you decided to finish grading them in your office and head out for the town to buy some groceries and other personal things.

You head to your office that’s right next to principal Yaga’s office he wasn’t in, so that made you breathe a little easier. You settled on your desk and started to grade your students' exams. Lost in focus, a knock on the door alerted you. You thought it was principal Yaga asking about the last meeting notes; however, you noticed the sight of a tall blonde man with an empty stare. Nanami Kento was your senpai back in your high school days. The man was a realistic person. His harsh truths and criticism never failed to pain you nor your student Yuji. A perspective entirely different from yours; however, despite his straight-to-the-point attitude, he still respected you. And you were enamored by the man who stood in front of you. His words did carry some truth, but that didn’t stop you from engaging in conversation with him and showing him the world through your eyes.

A smooth voice broke your focus from eyeing the man’s toned chest. “Is there something on my shirt?”

You immediately apologize, “Oh no, sorry! Um, anyway, what can I help you with, Nanami-san?” Quickly diverting the conversation back to Nanami. Hoping that he didn’t catch you ogling his chest. He noticed but still took some pride in knowing that you were staring at him. Nanami was quite fond of you. The two of you shared many things, such as your love for castella cakes that were sold at a hole-in-a-wall bakery the two of you once visited together. He appreciated you and the work that you do. Though he doesn’t know why you put so much effort into teaching, he enjoys watching you teach your shared students.

“I had a question about next week's staff meeting, so I came by to ask Principal Yaga about it. Do you know where he is at?” Nanami's voice went through your ear and settled in your lower stomach. You subconsciously squeezed your thighs, hoping that the light blush on your face goes unnoticed by him.

You reply, hoping that he would overlook the faltering in your voice. With all your confidence, you reply, “ I do not know where he is at, but I think that he has a meeting with the higher-ups from Kyoto.”

Nanami ponders on your answer and accepts it. “Ah, I see; well, sorry to bother you, Enjoy your day off (L/N)-san.” Nanami leaves and shuts your office door. Hearing his steps slowly fade into the air, you finally take a deep breath.

You had worries; however, one thing that clouded your mind was Nanami. You enjoyed his presence; actually, you enjoyed everything about him. You have loved him since high school. However, you don’t know his thoughts on love. You and Nanami have shared deep conversations about life but never love. It felt wrong to talk about love since the two of you were sorcerers, and your days are numbered. Still, that didn’t stop you from loving him; you just loved him in silence. You used small actions to your advantage. A cup of black coffee or his favorite sandwich from his favorite bakery, These small actions kept you sane.

You finished up the remaining exams and headed towards the school's parking lot. It was still early, so you decided to start your day. You got into your car and headed towards the shopping center in town.

You first head into a clothing store picking up some cardigans and tights since your last pair ripped while heading to a meeting with the higher-ups. The next store was a beauty shop. You picked up some lotion, face wash, and some perfume since you were running low. After a few more stories, you were about ready to leave, but your eye caught something. A store called “All for You”. It was covered in red lettering neon sign. Intrigued, you walked towards the store, not knowing what it contained.

You entered through the doors, immediately noticing the lingerie on display. You admired a set of purple lingerie, wondering how it would look on your body. The fabric is hugging your curves, your breasts covered by the transparent lace, the garter belt that would caress your thighs. A voice broke your focus; it was an associate heading towards you. “Pretty, isn’t it? We currently have a sale going on in the store its buy one get one 50% off the whole store. If you see something you like, don’t hesitate to ask one of us for help!” Her honey-coated voice filled your ears. You thanked her and began to roam the store. You noticed a few more sets, but they didn’t catch your attention like the purple lingerie set they had displayed at the front. You then landed in the back of the store and immediately froze up.

There were adult toys on shelves, a wide variety of dildos, vibrators, and more toys meant for one's pleasure. You looked at the toys observing their traits “vibrating”, “sucking”, and “thrusting”. You haven’t thought about sex nor masturbation in so long. School and the students always took up your time. It left you frustrated and stressed out. You haven’t masturbated either. Your fingers could only do so much but still left you unsatisfied and horny. Another associate came up to you.

“Hi Ma’am see anything you like?” The associate asked.

The thought of having an orgasm clouded your mind. You hadn’t had one in so long. The pebble of your nipples hitting the cold air, your puffy clit desperate for attention, your whole body was shaking due to the oncoming orgasm.

You shook out of your daze and answered the associate. You were about to spill your orgasmless life onto this associate, hoping that they would help you in some way and not be uncomfortable.

“Um, well, I don’t know where to start, but I am a teacher, and it's been challenging to have some time for myself, especially pleasure-wise. Is there anything you would recommend?” You mentally prepared yourself for the associate response.

The associate smiled and proceeded to show you an array of toys hoping that one of them would bring you the pleasure you needed.

You looked through the array of toys until the associate showed you “the best for last”.

It was a black vibrating egg. Its design was sleek and had seven different modes.

“This is one of my personal favorites. The more you squeeze, the more intense it gets. It has me orgasming under five minutes.”

You looked at the toy and decided fuck it, why not. You told the associate that you would take it.

She smiled and asked if you would like to buy the purple lingerie set since it was a buy one get one fifty percent off deal.

Without hesitation, you said yes.

You left the store with a new lingerie set and wireless vibrator. Maybe today was the day you can combat the stress plaguing you since you enter the jujutsu world.

You now walked to your car happily with today's purchases.

The campus was empty due to everyone leaving. The peace that covered the campus like a morning dew was relaxing. Days like this were rare, so you always took a second before heading towards your room to breathe in the fresh air.

You entered your now-empty apartment. You decided to do some chores and put away the things you bought. You decided to relax and catch up on some reading. However, there was a black bag on the kitchen table that teased you. You chose to keep on reading, but the words seemed to crash into each other like waves on a stormy day. Thirty minutes had passed, and you couldn’t take it anymore. You placed your bookmark on the page you couldn’t finish. Now with the black bag in hand, you walked into your bedroom wishing for something, but you didn’t know what you desired. You just hope whatever it was, worked.

You took out the items and laid them on your bed. You admired the lace on the lingerie set you bought. The removal of your clothes was of the utmost importance. A pile of work clothes piled around you. You turn around to face the mirror that also acted as your closet door. You take a look at your body. You never thought you were beautiful, just normal. Stretch marks kissed along your thighs, scars from fighting against curses made their home on your skin, and the curves and rolls that appeared were normal. You appreciated your body for keeping you alive.

Little by little, you placed the lingerie set. The bra covered your breasts and pert nipples, the panties hugged your hips, the long knee socks with frills made your legs even more delicious, and the garter belt with heart hoops added to your confidence. You posed in your mirror, enjoying the confidence the set gave you.

A box was open, and its contents covered your bed. You sat down, observing the toy in hand. It was slim and sleek. You read the instructions getting the general gist of it. It was rechargeable which was excellent. You heard stories from your female colleagues saying that they are immediately turn off when their battery-powered vibe dies on them while they are on the precipice of an orgasm. Thankful that this vibrator had a rechargeable battery.

The purple panties were now covered by a wet patch that has been slowly growing. Turning on the vibrator on the lowest setting, you teased yourself. The vibrations kissed your nipples and lit up your body in the smallest of touches. The vibrator moves across your body, sending your clit signals that it needed to be touched, to be teased, to bring you a well-deserved orgasm. The black vibrator in hand teased your covered pussy closer to the place that desperately needs to be touched. You moved it up and down your panties which were now soaking. You placed various pressure along your clothed pussy but never touching your clit. Your hips subconsciously bucked into your vibrator. Your other hand was fondling your breasts and teasing your nipples. A soft moan escaped your lips.

You were soaking. You cursed yourself for not putting a towel down, but you didn’t care. Your body felt like it was on fire.

Your hole was clenching around nothing. It was painful. You weren’t a virgin; you had someone nightstands to help relieve your stress from your early days as a teacher. Some of them managed to bring you into an orgasm, but it was futile. A connection is what you wanted, not meaningless sex. Then you thought about the blonde sorcerer that came into your office earlier.

Nanami was a handsome man with a body big enough to cage you in. Hands bigger than yours. His expensive cologne is filling up all your senses. You wanted him. Thinking about his hands slowly thrusting in and out of you, stretching you out to prepare you for his pre-cum covered cock. Drool slowly escaped your mouth. Moans and whimpers were becoming more frequent.

You placed the sleek vibrator inside your needy pussy while moving your panties to the side. Your pussy clenched on it eagerly, and the vibrations became even more potent. You tried to hold onto the self-control you had left. You decided that it was too much and wanted to take it out, but you realized it was stuck. Now panicking, you tried to reach inside, but your insides were covered in your juices. You couldn't take it out now in the process of thinking of resolutions; your doorbell went off. You froze. You were a horny mess; who could it be at this hour, you said to yourself.  

You grabbed your robe, covering your tantalizing body. A strained “Coming!” came out of your mouth. The vibrations were getting more robust, and you quickly decided to deal with the person at your door and resolve your problem by yourself.

Opening the door and seeing a 6-foot tall blonde sorcerer was now your second most significant problem.

“Sorry for coming so late. I came to return your bread…basket.” Nanami’s voice was now filled with worry seeing your flushed face.

He pulls you in closer with a firm grip. Your body is now indulging in his presence. “Are you okay?” He then proceeds to place his strong, callused hands on your face and forehead.

His hands-on you caused your pussy to clench, which the vibrator go to the following setting a more robust setting. A moan escapes your mouth.

The moan reaches Nanami's ears lighting his body up. Nanami looks at you with shock. Having no sanity left, you needed help, and you decided to ask Nanami to take out the toy that has been terrorizing your pussy.

Still in his grip, you looked at the blond who held you reasonably close. His scent reaching your nose was making this even more dangerous for you.

With a strained voice, words came out, “Nanami, please, I need your help, and I feel comfortable asking you for h-“

Your body betrayed you focused on reaching pleasure. With hurried words, you continue. Nanami's concern for you was even greater. You decided to get straight to the point for your own sake. “Nanami, please help me. I have a…”

You mumble into his toned chest.

His face reaches face level with you. A heavy blush covered your face. “What was that? I can’t hear you (L/N)-san.” A small smile tugged his lips, but it went unnoticed by you. The man in your apartment was making you go crazy with each passing minute.

With the left overconfidence, you plead to Nanami to help you.

“Nanami, please help me. I have a vibrator stuck inside me, and I can’t get it out, please. My body feels like it's on fire.” Nanami looked at you and realized the severity of the situation.

Nanami hasn't been in this situation before but seeing your trembling body in his arms; there is always a first for everything.

With no questions asked, Nanami picked you up while you directed him towards the bedroom. Carrying you, he saw the left overpacking of the vibrator, making a mental note of it. He carefully laid you on the bed.

“Nanami nggghhh, please.” Your body is now squirming on the bed, and the robe you had on was slowly coming undone.

Small flashes of your skin appeared in Nanami’s eyes. The bulge in his pants was becoming more prominent. Everything was too overwhelming. Your heart couldn’t take it anymore; the love you had for Nanami Kento was about to be spilled on his hands. Nanami reached to undo the robe that contained paradise but stopped.

“(Y/N) I am asking you for your permission before we continue? Do I have it?”

The respectful man was going to be the death of you. With all the strength you had left, you got up and immediately began to switch positions. Nanami followed your lead. He was now leaning against your bed frame while your legs wrapped around his waist.

Now trying to scrape the confidence you had left, you looked at Nanami, whose tips of his ears were now bright red.

“Nghhhhhh Nanami, you have my consent.”

Nanami reached for the robe once again, undid the loose knot, and internally groaned. He knew you were beautiful. Gojo would show him the women he had from one-night stands. They were beautiful women, but Nanami’s definition of beautiful was different. You are the definition of beautiful. He loves your kind personality and how you find a reason to live no matter how small it is. The set hugged you beautifully, and Nanami began his ministrations.

He pulled you closer, kissing your jawline to your neck. Inhaling your scent was like an aphrodisiac. His cock felt your wet, soaking pussy. He began to touch your nipples through the lace admiring the craftsmanship. You slowly started to hump him hoping for some kind of release.

He felt the pressure on his cock, which almost made him come. He immediately grabbed your waist, stopping you from attempting another thrust.

The look in his eyes made you squeal. His low baritone voice came out of his mouth. “If you keep doing that, I don’t think I could control myself.”

“Then lose it.”

Nanami’s hand ripped your panties off your body, freeing his piece of paradise. You felt the ripping of your panties, but you didn’t care. His callused hands teased your clit, and you let out a whimper. Your voice was addicting, and Nanami wanted to hear more. You were plenty wet, more than ready to take in Nanami. His cock was slowly becoming painful, but he proceeded to tease your hole. He inserted one finger and immediately feeling your pussy clench around it. The vibrator now moved into another level of intensity. You immediately arched your back, giving Nanami a view of your breasts that were now freed from your bra. Moans were now spilling from your mouth.

Nanami brought your body closer to suck on your breasts. Everything was becoming too much for you. You felt his groans while sucking your breasts. Nanami then entered a second finger. He felt the toy vibrator that has been plaguing you. He needed to take it out; why was he doing all of this extra stuff. You felt ethereal in his hands. Your moans fueled his ego and caused him to have a hard-on. You worked too much, and Nanami knew he shouldn’t be the one talking, but you deserve it. You deserve everything.

Nanami’s hands were now doing a curling motion in your pussy, hitting your g-spot every time. You told Nanami that it was becoming too much. He just went faster. Your legs began to shake, feeling your lower stomach catching on fire.

All of a sudden, the vibrator was now out of your soaked pussy. The building of a powerful orgasm now began to dissipate. You whimpered at the loss of Nanami’s fingers that were stretching your pussy deliciously.

You closed your eyes to catch a breath before assessing your next move. While you were doing that, Nanami reached into his back pocket, pulling out his wallet. He grabbed the condom that Gojo placed as a prank; however, this one time, he was grateful for his senpai. He took out the condom with one hand while his other hand was still keeping you steady. He throws his wallet on the nightstand with a condom in hand and bright red ears.

You thought about your loss of your orgasm, and you were so close, so close to reaching cloud nine. Nanami broke the silence but for a good reason.

“(Y/N)”

Your eyes immediately open; that was the second time that Nanami had said your name.

Nanami gulped. He was staring at your body. Your bra was still on you, but your breasts were free from the constraints. Your garter belt and thigh-high socks were still on by some sort of miracle. But your panties were gone giving Nanami his private view of your dripping pussy.

You began to cover yourself, but Nanami interrupted you. You slowly put your hands to the side of your body. Nanami was someone who made you feel safe and protected. You trusted him, and He trusted you. You weren’t going to betray that.

Nanami thought about the words that he would say to you, but his eyes were slowly taking your body in. He spoke, trying to ignore your body, but he would never call it a distraction. You were a ray of light that kissed his face in the morning.

“(Y/N), I know you asked me to take out your ‘problem’.”

He used ‘problem’ because he didn’t want to scare you away or embarrass you even further. You look at him with such soft eyes, his heartbeat against his chest. This unknown feeling began to creep on him. He has (Y/N), a beautiful woman, and his heart was going crazy on top of him. He continued talking.

“However, I have a solution that would leave us both satisfied.”

He then shows you the condom that was in his hand. You looked down to see his cock begging to be freed. He then asked you for your consent, and as soon he finished the last syllable, you said yes, yes, yes, as a prayer for only him to hear.

Nanami slowly pulls his pants stained with your juices down, which allowed his cock to be somewhat free, his boxers still covered it. He was about to reach for the band of his boxers but felt a hand slowly grasp his cock through the fabric. His breath got heavy. You slowly palmed his covered cock noticing the wet patch of pre-cum. You looked up for permission, and he nodded. You grabbed the band of his boxers and pulled them down. His cock sprung up, hitting his chest. Pre-cum was slowly going down his veiny cock. You began to wrap your hand around it, maintaining a steady rhythm and applying different pressures. Nanami hadn’t had sex in so long, but it never felt like this. This was different. He unknowingly thrust his hips upwards fucking himself in your hand. You then brought your other hand to play with his balls slowly. He was breathing heavily. The grunts and moans that slipped out of his mouth only fueled your passion for finishing Nanami off. Nanami realized the dynamic he was in and immediately told you to stop. He saw the pained expression on your face and began to explain himself.  

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but it’s all about you tonight; you can do it next time.”

The thought of next time made you giddy. You said okay with a smile. You were driving Nanami crazy he doesn't know how long he will last, but he’s savoring every moment with you. Nanami proceeds to lay you down. Your body was a blank canvas ready to be coated. He looks into your eyes then your lips. You slowly brought your lips closer to his lips, slowly exchanging breaths. Nanami kissed you. It started slow but slowly becoming intense. Your tongue began to lick Nanami’s lips; Nanami noticed this and opened his mouth, letting you explore before he took over. His tongue was meshing with yours. You moan into the kiss, hoping it won’t end, but this was just a tiny part of the night that the two of you were going to share.

You pull away, noticing the string of saliva that connected your lips. Nanami looks at your glossy swollen lips. Imagining how they would look around his cock. How would you take it? Would you kiss it first? Give it small licks? Thoughts of you were slowly filling his mind, you, you.

He was shaken out of his daze due to you kissing his neck. He pulled back and told you to lay down once again. He then left a trail of kisses from your forehead to the tip of your nose to your swollen lips. Kisses were littering you, and it just felt so right. He noticed that your bra was still on. He sucked and licked your nipple until it became hard. You brought your chest towards him, enjoying the feeling of his warm mouth sucking your nipple and teasing it with his tongue. While Nanami lifted your back off the bed, he used his free hand to unhook your bra. The bra all of a sudden became loose on your body. Nanami gave you a look, and you immediately tossed your bra to the other side of the room.

He continued kissing and sucking your breasts. They were made for his hands and his only. Nanami was biting harshly on the skin of your breasts. He was leaving love bites, and they looked good on you.

“Nanami, please, I want you, please fill me up; I-I need you.”

“Not yet, my darling. I still have some things up my sleeve.”

He moved down towards your body, bringing his face next to your aching pussy. He began to kiss your clit before eating you like it was his last meal on earth.

“Nanami, N-Nanami, oh god yes right there”

Nanami was enjoying your praise. Then not one but two fingers immediately entered you. You were feeling the stretch and the movement of Nanami’s fingers once again hitting your g-spot. It was all becoming too overwhelming. The fire in your lower stomach began spreading, and it was getting bigger.

“Nanami, I’m so close, please.”

Nanami saw the desperation on your face. He took pity on you.

“Before I continue, you need to do something for me.”

You, of course, said yes to anything that Nanami wanted.

“I want you to call me Kento.”

Baffled by his request, you all of a sudden got flustered.

Nanami was now waiting for you to say his name while teasing the insides of your thighs.

You whispered his name for you and God to hear it.

“What? I couldn't hear you, come on, sweetheart, I know you can do it.”

“Kento”

“Yes, (Y/N)?”

“Kento”

“Kento”

“Kento”

You were saying his name like it was a spell, and it worked.

Nanami lowered his head next to your ear, “Yeah, that sounds nice.”

Nanami lowered his dress pants and boxers even further. He grabbed the condom and ripped it open. You saw him placed the condom on his cock. He was a good 7.5 inches, but what worried you was his girth. His cock was pretty; it had a pink tip and some very prominent veins.

“Are you ready?” Nanami chuckled in amusement, seeing you stare at his cock.

“Yes, Please be gentle with me.”

Nanami smiled and said, of course. Always such a gentleman.

He then lined himself up to your hole, which has been clenching for who knows how long.

Nanami got the first inch in, feeling you immediately clench around. “God,” He thought to himself, “She’s so fucking tight.”

“Sweetie, you gotta relax. Can you do that for me?”

You nod due to you slowly reducing into a babbling mess. You did your best to relax. However, you couldn't focus on anything, only his fat cock stretching you out.

He was finally in, and it felt like fucking heaven.

“I'm gonna start moving, sweetheart’ You think you can handle me?”

Your response was quick, Yes, Kento, anything for you. I’m yours.”

He smiled. His face was covered in a layer of sheen sweat, and his mouth and throat still had remnants of your juices from eating you out.

He began moving slowly, feeling all of you around him. Each of his thrusts was met with a mixture of each other moans.

His pace is now a little faster, rougher. Your hands were squeezing the blankets beneath you. Feeling your tight pussy clench around him almost made him come. He decided it was time for both of your to reach enlightenment.

His hand reaches for your puffy clit, which immediately made you scream.

“OH GOD, Kento, please, I’m so close it hurts.”

The orgasm that was slowly building up felt different; this one felt stronger.

“I’m close, sweetheart; you can come whenever you want; I’ll be there right behind you.” Nanami Kento, the love of your life, was helping you reach an orgasm. It felt like a dream, but it wasn’t. He is abusing your needy pussy, trying to get you closer to an orgasm, and it was working. Your body was on fire. The knot in your lower stomach was about to burst. You couldn't take it any longer. Nanami now was stroking your clit with a little bit more speed and pressure.

“Kento, fuck I-I’m coming.”

Nanami felt an even tighter squeeze and fucked you through your orgasm. Nanami is stroking your clit to the point it was coming almost unbearable.

You tried to speak up, but your body betrayed you. You squirted on him, even soaking him further in your juices. Nanami saw you squirt and thrust even harder. Your pussy had a vice grip on him. Not even a second later, he moved in you as hard as he could and came. He collapsed on top of you. His cum was still leaking into the condom. He had been pent up for quite a while now.

The two of you felt like you were in heaven. Still connected, Nanami faced you, giving you a soft stare. You look back at him, trying to find the words to say, but Nanami spoke first.

“I don’t know what it is about you, but you managed to make a home in my heart. Every day, even if I see you for just a split second, I’m happy. My heart beats faster every time I think about you. Your endless devotion and love for teaching and your students amazes me. What am I feeling? Can I ask you that (Y/N)? What is this feeling that has been plaguing me since our high school days?”

His response was so innocent, and your heart nearly exploded with all kinds of positive emotions.

“Kento, That’s love. It's what keeps us humans sane. Love comes in all kinds of forms; it's versatile. I have endless devotion and love for my students because they are just children who haven’t experienced what it's like to be a normal child. I want to protect the remaining innocence they have. It’s okay to have emotions, especially one like love, Kento.”

He looked into your eyes then to your lips. He kissed you with such fever, and you happily reciprocated.

“Then will you stay with me despite our days being numbered due to our professions,” Nanami said those words with such honesty it just made you fall in love with him even harder.

“I’ll stay with you, even if our days are numbered. Let’s enjoy what we have left together.”

“I like the sound of that.”

You replied, “Me too.”

[chibivesicle]

Golden Kamuy - Kikuta deserved better - 273-276

As I catch up on things, I’m gonna hit the highlights that really stuck with me.  Ogata is able to escape from Vasily using the tactics he observed from the showdown in Barato with Hijikata cutting through random row houses.  He’s seriously gotten into Vasily’s head as he hesitated to snipe aggressively after killing the wrong guy with Ogata’s cloak.

The only worthwhile thing from this continued and seriously a no longer interesting plot point, is getting to see Ogata wiggle under a fence like a cat.

So, I approve of this at least.  My own cat scores this as an 8/10 in cat wiggling.  Minus 2 points for not enough emotion from Ogata’s face.

Thankfully, Asirpa was able to escape with Sofia after Tsukishima gunned down Ariko.  It seemed to me that Koito froze/hesitated during that situation.  Tsukishima had no problem brutally shooting Ariko at point blank while Koito literally just hung back and watched. 

Asirpa is in a state of extreme shock. She just interrogated by Tsurumi to give up the code, watched Ariko be shot and now sees Boutarou’s corpse in the bottle-mobile.  Our girl needs years of therapy - she’s reaching the same level as our male cast members at this rate.

At least she breaks down in tears as Sugimoto tries to console her.  The artwork for this part of the page is excellent, it really does capture the melting of her mind and how she’s realizing how deadly the gold is.

It ties directly back to her argument with Kikuta before all this shit went down.  I’m always giving Sugimoto crap for being a moron, but it seems that he did make the right action by reaching out to allow her to hug his arm.  There is that soft look as he gazes down at her and just lets her be emotional.  It is clear that his presence is a comfort to her as she takes her time before returning to a more lucid mental state.  This is shown by how she opens her eyes and looks up before declaring that they need to meet up with Hijikata since she’s figured out how to crack the code.

Meanwhile, Kikuta rushed Ariko to a clinic to save his life.  Being the father figure/older brother he is, he tells him that it isn’t his time to die; he never made that makiri yet! And to my relief, Ariko wakes up!  Noda didn’t go for the lazy writing of killing of the minor Ainu character, something I was afraid of.

If his father saved him, it means his makiri was where he was shot in the chest under his uniform.  There is a lovely transition about a makiri in a fictional museum that was made by him, implying that he returned home and did make the makiri and likely resolved some of his identity issues, though it was still likely a tough life for him.  Ariko apologies for not being able to work as a spy for Central and really it isn’t like he’d be able to do so anyways.  But he did verbally point out he’s now politically on the side of someone like Asirpa to fight for their culture and right to exist in spite of colonial powers. The middle panel of Kikuta bidding him farewell just gives me the feels.  It is so clear that Kikuta knows he’s toast.  He saw Tsukishima shoot Ariko and Tsukishima likely watched him as he tried to save the man.

The fact that he said a casual line about going to an onsen.  Ugh, death flag for sure right there.  It seems Ariko knows that as he looks forlorn.  Kikuta is that sort of suave man who is going to look cool even though he’s doomed; he’s that awesome.

The action returns to Tsurumi at the church having solved the code.  With Tsukishima gone off to try to kill Ariko, Koito has remained behind.  All of a sudden Koito reverts to his extreme Satsuma accent when addressing Tsurumi in the absence of Tsukishima.  I think he didn’t even realize it at first, just like how after they escaped the fight with Boutarou, Koito spoke normally to Tsurumi without realizing it.

It is clear it took him a moment to realize he was speaking ‘Koito’ as Tsurumi is unable to respond to him and he then panics.  Koito is more than willing to chase after Tsukishima and support him, but Tsurumi instead recalls him.

At first he consoles himself that everything is okay. 

He is trying very hard to convince himself that everything that they witnessed through the keyhole was all an act to get the key!  Yes, it isn’t that Tsurumi doesn’t have some sort of awesome goal and this isn’t about how the death of his wife and daughter left him unhinged!

But the other random members of the 27th then comment on how strongly Nikaido reeks of beer . . . and Koito then thinks about how he and Tsukishima were hiding in the room at the church when Tsurumi ‘checked’ that he was alone.  And then it hits him - they were also played as a part of the ‘Tsurumi theatre’.  Unlike Tsukishima who has whole-heartily given himself over to Tsurumi, it is clear that Koito can’t.

That monologue sounded too good to be true.  He weakly says Tsukishima’s name into the rain as he then thinks ‘No . . .’  The rain is really fitting in this scene, I think it really is a stand in for Koito’s own disappointment and tears in this entire crazy quest for the gold.  Is he worried about his ‘older’ brother figure?  Himself?  Both of them?

He continues to try to rationalize the performance that Tsurumi gave them - even if Tsurumi lied to them, it wasn’t all a lie.  Oh Koito.  I want to give you a hug and pull you away as your little bon-bon-ness has won me over.  Most of that speech wasn’t for Koito, it was for Tsukishima.  Speaking about helping Japan is what Koito would like to hear but we can tell he doubts that as well.  Hence, his waffling.

But then he realizes that as Tsukishima has given so much - all of Tsurumi’s words, even if they were ‘sweet lies’ as he he referred to them on Karafuto, it was just perfect for Tsukishima.  However, Koito has broken the spell that Tsurumi held over him.  The final page of the chapter of Koito looking at the illuminated Tsurumi and shutting the door on him.  It is the exact opposite of when Tsurumi rescued Koito from the kidnappers when in his youth. I now find myself wondering how this relates to the tiger curse.  It is clear that the curse for Tsukishima will not end well.  After he shot Ariko, his eyes regained their sparkle!  Not good, not good at all!  However, have I misinterpreted it for Koito that by becoming disillusioned with Tsurumi he will be cursed to be miserable through him gaining independence from his hero worship of Tsurumi?  The idea that ignorance is bliss, and now Koito is well in the know.  The fact that when he and Tsukishima were sort of on the same page was when he could speak to Tsurumi but now that he’s on a different path from Tsukishima he’s tripped up again.

Chapter 274 finally allows Asirpa to determine the fake skins after what she witnessed with Boutarou in the brewery and thinking about Ainu garments that she figured out that Edogai likely went above and beyond with his fakes.  Thanks money counterfeiting guy from the fake Ainu village for the inspiration.  It is a lot of pages that tie together other plot points nicely but really doesn’t do anything for me as a reader personally.

The most important point is that as Sugimoto falls asleep while Asirpa and Hijikata work with the skins is that we get another flashback - one that links him to Kikuta!

and even more importantly - Hanazawa Yuusaku!  Chapter 275 starts out with an homage to the classic movie ‘Singing in the Rain’.  As soon as I saw Sugimoto spinning on a lamp post, it was obvious.  Yes, small town boy in the big city - causing trouble.  He gets in some sort of brawl with random guys from the army and is ‘rescued’ by Kikuta, who immediately realizes that he’s hungry and decides to treat him to some lunch.

It shows that Sugimoto has a short fuse and is an impulsive youngster.  Really, he is lucky that he didn’t do more stupid shit to get him in trouble.  We can also clearly see that Kikuta is a member of the 1st Division, the Tokyo based one that Sugimoto eventually enlists with.

Kikuta decides that he wants Sugimoto to impersonate Hanazawa Yuusaku and to go on a marriage interview for him.  This is because Hanazawa Hiro, the now identified wife of Hanazawa, is pulling the strings in the background to prevent Yuusaku from becoming a flag bearer.

This then makes us wonder why these two parents have such contrasting expectations for their only son.  It makes me think back to my theory that Yuusaku was a pretty poor solider and lacked any skill or potential.  Long ago, Tsurumi told Nikaido that Ogata is the ‘true heir’ of Hanazawa inheriting his military and [some] leadership skills as he stood on the watch tower in Barato ordering the random gangsters how to fight effectively.  Yuusaku is a disappointment for Hanazawa - he can only save face by having his son become such a symbolic part of the army.

I laughed at the next page where Kikuta confirms that Hiro is colluding with the young heiress to steal Yuusaku’s virginity and thus preventing him from becoming a flag bearer.  I love the posture of the terrified Yuusaku!

However, Hiro’s plan has been found out by Hanazawa and he consulted with the leader of the 1st Division to assist him with resolving this unpatriotic and embarrassing issue.  Recall that Ogata was born as a result of Hanazawa being posted to Tokyo - this implies that he likely became good friends with the leader of the 1st Division during this time.

To prevent anyone from identifying Sugimoto, he’s the perfect substitute for Yuusaku and changes into Kikuta’s uniform.  He’s one of those guys who just has that look.  Sugimoto immediately thinks that since he’s been treated well by Kikuta, joining the military might be a good way to find security - in food.  However, we get a link of the cap to Kikuta and what appears to be his dying younger brother.

Kikuta looks so sad, like there is something unfortunate with Sugimoto’s statement of food.  We don’t get to see his expression, indicating he’s likely hiding his emotions from Sugimoto and instead tells Sugimoto he’s going to have to train him in food etiquette.

He’s presented with some Western cuisine, something that may blow his cover and something that Kikuta didn’t expect as he watches from a tree outside.  But again, due to his extreme luck, he’s able to use nervousness as an excuse and it gives him time to state his family his super traditional so they wouldn’t have eaten food like this.  When he’s removed the cap, Kaneko Kaeko is smitten with his handsome face. He can use his excuse as a way to have an out for not knowing how to eat that tasty ebi fry (why to I hear ‘ebi fry’ in Nyanko-sensei’s voice?).

As she explains the fancy places she’s dined at, Sugimoto thinks about how he was living off of cat food.  Cue another reason why he just hates on Ogata, since he was stealing food from Ogata’s people! 

The rest of the dinner goes well, and Kikuta checks in with him.  Meanwhile, our wealthy heiress is completely smitten with him!

As Sugimoto mulls over the idea of a somewhat arranged marriage as a negative he spills the beans about Toraji and Umeko.  And Kikuta isn’t having any of his bullshit.  I love how Kikuta points out how selfish and downright stupid Sugimoto is being in all of this.  Kikuta gives Sugimoto good advice - which he’s clearly still never followed.

He makes it clear that he’s got to give up on that hometown and move on.  Which will be completely ignored as Toraji will end up in the 1st Division with Sugimoto in the trenches.  I’m now wondering how Toraji and Sugimoto reconnected.  Hrrrmmmmm?  Is this something that Sugimoto encouraged and that’s why he has all of these unresolved emotions about Toraji’s death in the war?

The chapter reveals to us that Tsukishima’s love ended up marrying the cousin of Kaeko, making Tsukishima’s acceptance of her ‘death’ even more heartbreaking as he thought that Tsurumi had lied to him about her fate.  [weeps bitterly]. 

As Kikuta and Sugimoto discuss what appears to be Yuusaku’s lack of a free will, he’s told not to meddle in others concerns.  What does Sugimoto do? The man just can’t keep to himself and he goes and finds Yuusaku to confront him.  He wants to know if Yuusaku wants to be a flag bearer even though it is a death sentence.  How does that conversation go? Just how we’d expect with all of the information we know about Yuusaku.

I love how he’s like it isn’t to meet my father’s expectations!  It is because understand my father’s convictions and fight for my country.  Okay, you keep telling yourself that Yuusaku, but it still sounds like you are doing this for your father, you know tomay-to, tomah-to.  Sugimoto mulls over what Yuusaku would choose if given the choice.  I just sigh as we know enough about Yuusaku’s backstory that the man only does what his father says - with great conviction. All of our Ogata flashbacks have made this so clear, Yuusaku is a doomed man from the moment he entered the army.  Maybe even a doomed man from his birth even.  Perhaps, he’s acutely aware of this, but based on how freakkin’ awkward he’s with Ogata and his older brother actions, I continue to think he’s not the brightest bulb in the pack and can only be used as a patriotic pawn.

Yuusaku then becomes suspicious of Sugimoto’s line of inquiry and realizes that he’s got Kikuta’s cap.

Not sure how to respond, he runs away and we learn that Kikuta’s younger brother died of illness during the first Sino-Japanese war.   That same war that killed Koito’s older brother and that Tsurumi and Tsukishima fought in as well. With the statement of illness, I know what most likely killed Kikuta’s younger brother - malnutrition - specifically beri beri.  As the Japanese military rapidly modernized using European models, they ran into an issue with many soldiers and sailors dying of some sort of mysterious illness and it wasn’t something that impacted the Westerners at all.  Most of this has to do with the ability to eat white rice which was much more processed.  It made it more expensive, but was nutritionally bad for men who came from lower incomes or poverty.  Remember how stoked Asirpa was when she ate white rice all the way back at the herring fishery?  If anyone has read “House of Five Leaves” by Natsume Ono, you’d know the protagonist is a poor ronin and he falls ill due to beri beri.  The solution was to return to the countryside/hometown to eat a more diverse diet.  For a more detailed explanation of how bad this was for the Japanese military check out the video by Linfamy on youtube here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzIBpFDRr5g

The video even highlights the fierce (and counterproductive) competition between the Army and Navy which has already been well defined through Koito’s backstory. The chapter ends with Sugimoto dropping the cap and the polite man who picks it up for him is Tsurumi with Ogata, Usami and Tsukishima in Tokyo. The plot thickens . . . somehow Sugimoto got mixed up in the business of the 27th and apparently Tokyo isn’t a vast city that you can get lost in and everyone knows everyone.  Like how I was on flight to Saskatoon and the man next to me started up a conversation how he was from Burlington and went to Guelph and my friend who I was going to visit was also from Burlington and went to Guelph it is a small world kinda moment and in agriculture.  I digress though.  Things are starting to pull back together but I’m still not 100% on with this plot direction/story arc.

[saintobio]

ahhhh props for another chapter! really well written and just wanted to note that even if it was written in a play format, i felt you conveyed emotions and plot points just as well as a conventionally written story!

i’m actually kinda glad you separated the last act - building so much suspense!

just wanted to ask: are you planning to write like this again after olal ends? i felt this was a super engaging read and really worthwhile type of writing to invest in :)

just on a final note: look i swear if empress pulls a momjo in the last act i’ll come for you 🔫🥲❤️❤️

thank uuu so much i’m glad to hear that 😭 and yes hopefully when i have the chance again soon <33 but i’d probably not write in archaic anymore. just formal language sdjsja archaic language makes my head hurt.

Anonymous said

oh my god...... faren and athein is so far 😭😭😭 poor yn :((((( praying that she would fight fionn back yn deserves so much better. losing her parents, baby and now kidnapped by fionn 😭

how can she fight back from that man :’(

@azra-killer said

Honestly, the MCs in your stories are RESILIENT. I would've been killed myself. Or maybe it's just a woman thing to withstand all of that trauma and keep moving. Idk, but I wouldn't even need a 13th reason.

naaawwh 😭😭😭 but yes, i seem to always write abt resilient mcs and i love molding them to be such. maybe bc i am a masochist. or maybe it’s truly a woman thing.

Anonymous said

I actually am not that mad at the wives in Olal because I’m numb to this bs because I read a lot of historical villainess webtoons lmfaoooo; also I don’t necessarily ship osamu x mc?? They read as v platonic to me 🤷🏽‍♀️

Also when I saw first saw Olal it’s acronym is really close to OLLA (Only Lovers Left Alive) by Jhené Aiko, and I love that song 💗

looool yeah i’ve read many historical manhwas and most of them r angsty, so torture from the villainess won’t make me flinch anymore too

Anonymous said

Waiting for the isekai'd character to come help y/n and Rin avoid the death route and get the two other wives the bad end 🙇🏻‍♀️🕯isekai'd mc🕯🙇🏻‍♀️

omg olal isekai ???? 😳 imagine

[onewomancitadel]

thank You for answering my previous ask. Your reply was perfect. The "Jaune cant date Cinder kuz she a murder" argument was always so silly to me. They r trying to make some moral claim but it doesnt add up. Like what so the better option is to have Jaune become a killer by murdering her? Wouldn THAT ruin his character by their logic? I dont really get the stigma against men saving women either. I think the idea is that it makes men look like clueless simps and women look like useless idiots???

Hi again, no worries. (: Ask in question.

I mean to be entirely frank I've literally not interacted with a single person who has expressed these ideas to me about Knightfall (definitely Cinder though, and the idea that Jaune will kill her etc.) because I keep to myself on Tumblr. I've mostly only interacted with people like this regarding Reylo, but I've heard it all before.

I don't think it's really a claim about what stories ought to be told for the sake of preventating harm though, as I said in that post.

Like what so the better option is to have Jaune become a killer by murdering her? Wouldn THAT ruin his character by their logic?

Well, yes it would, but they don't understand Jaune's character because they've ignored every single scene he's in ever, as well as the entire point of the Haven confrontation with Cinder. They invented a different story in their head: Cinder is evil, obviously you're supposed to kill her, please ignore the point of Jaune's Semblance which is literally compassion and support as a superpower.

I dont really get the stigma against men saving women either. I think the idea is that it makes men look like clueless simps and women look like useless idiots???

'Simp' is one of the worst words ever invented. I don't like reading it one bit.

I think 'man saving woman' is a flat reduction of the Knightfall dynamic (as proposed) though, but I know what you mean. I don't know how we got to the point where 'You don't have to do it alone, let me help you and see you for who you really are and could be' is somehow a bad thing, but it makes me feel uneasy. It's just very strange that kill death murder is a more acceptable and 'less regressive' conclusion than like, connection.

But yes, there's an assumption there that it's foregrounded in misogynistic tropes, e.g. classic damsel in distress scenario. I'm not sure that 'simping' factors in (as in, as an actual influencing bad trope) since this, as a 'problem' seems to be a relatively recent (?) and bizarre idea - not sure how extending affection and compassion to a woman (aka the foundation of romance and generally relationships) is... behaviour to be looked down upon?

I also think these kinds of tropes are always contextually sensitive.

If anything I would put forth that Knightfall is specifically a relationship that would reconstruct the knight and Maiden in the tower trope (i.e. damsel in distress), especially as it's so literally reverse Salem/Ozma (the first maiden and knight). Especially because you've got the holy knight who is also Joan of Arc inspired (famously nonviolent) tied to the Maiden who is a maiden because Maidenhood grants magical powers. So yes, considering how traditional gender dynamics are influencing the pairing is worthwhile, but I don't think there's anything regressive here. Quite the opposite.

But as I said I don't think that's really the angle being argued from because trying to take it seriously when it's not about that will leave both parties dissatisfied. It's not really a topic I'm earnestly interested in debating.

The reality is that most of the people who take issue with Knightfall in this context probably want some other ship to happen or they don't understand Jaune's character and think that something textually rejected back in V5 (him trying to kill Cinder) will somehow happen. So if their interpretation is so countertextual and missing the fundamental themes of the show I'm not sure I'd waste time worrying about their analysis.

Obviously that isn't to say some people might take genuine issue with Knightfall but they're not the people I'm talking about. You're allowed to like and dislike things in equal measure, you just don't need to use pseudo-social justice rhetoric to defend your point. That's part of how we ended up with this mess. If it were actual earnest concern I might take such criticisms more seriously. But because they show their hand thinking that romance is regressive (?), compassion is regressive (?), and Cinder shouldn't be redeemed (?), I don't have reason to really care.

Thanks for your ask. I understand gossiping is fun and so is judging other peoples' opinions, but I also suggest you try to find a space where you're not being subjected to this stuff all the time. Unless that's your idea of fun. (:

[spookyvalentine]

Kasumi, Thane, Shiala for the character ask meme

OHHHHHHHHH i do be too in love

FIRST IMPRESSION

K: a THIEF??? you give me HEIST??? i studied art history in college, and got very focused on art crime and museum security and made several professors quite anxious, so the first time I played 2 and recruited her, she immediately soared to the top of my fave list

T: oh ho oh HO tiddy window. he is... ooh. him pretty. then he talked. HE'S HOT!!!! uh oh weren't you gonna romance garrus?

S: when she feel out of the thorian i was like wat. i am getting my ass kicked by a plant booger. why are you HERE. WHO ARE YOU

IMPRESSION NOW

K: i will die for you. i wanted to see more of her in 3. i wanted to heist the casino with her. extremely in love, forever and always, and if i wanted to punish myself and make another shepard it'd be to romance her

T: shattered. one of the most deeply romantic LIs out there imo. watching him come alive again. unrecoverable. i'll forever love him. also hes hot as fuck lemme lick him. he didn't die, he blasted kai leng in the face the second he leveled his pistol. i will also go to my grave foaming at the mouth what they did to him

S: wife. omg please benchpress me. the first time i played and had that conversation post-thorian and its like oh. you're badass as fuck. a commando and studied for centuries w benezia? AND THEN SHE FLIRTS W YOU IN 2 AND THERE IS NO OPTION FOR FOLLOW UP???? i thought about that scene all the time. and with the next couple playthroughs, every time i got to see her i was like. oh no youre even prettier. oh no you're even cooler. and now its just terminal brainrot. god i wish we couldve recruited her/romanced her. that would have been mad dope. thank god i am sometimes capable of writing fic

FAVORITE MOMENT

K: ohhhh a toughie. it feels like a cop out to say all of them, but her VA does such a damn good job bringing so much personality into her lines so like even going and checking in on her between missions was a delight to hear her comment on squadmates. that heist was so good tho. hoot every time she jumps on the jet and gives hock that jaunty wave. WHAT A BABE!!! i also love when she goes HAha while in combat

T: when he finally talks about irikah and kolyat. it felt so special and intimate to learn about them. and when he cries before kissing shepard. yes.

S: when shE FLIRTS IN 2 OASIFHLJISUDH but seriously when shes free of the thorian and says she wants to help the colony in recompense. that. meant a lot to me. also i watched the renegade version on yt and the fact that she'll just. let shepard kill her without a fight.... that...... ow

IDEA FOR A STORY

K: well. i've got several fics in the works for her w mercy shepard

- new orleans heist

- vinny (the first man kasumi kills)

- ANDERSON NEVER ARRESTS MERCY AU: CRIMELORD MERCY SHEPARD where kasumi is their right hand, and eventually they end up on the trail of saren. alternate recruitment of squadmates >:)

T: i've got a google doc titled cleaning supplies which um. has been the filth i've been posting in chunks. the other fic for him that i just have a barebones bit is hurt/comfort after mercy visits alchera, beginnings of a romance between them. and of course, sports coach au that i will absolutely start actively writing once i've gotten a couple more "essential" mercy fics done

S: i am working on stellan and shiala's first in-person date after the war, inspired by you, the powerful @yellingaboutmasseffect, where they do the floating howl/sophie walk. and then i like to play around with a full-on howl's moving castle shepala au, that i'd probably post scenes from, rather than any sort of longfic. and im still writing very married sleepy fucking. um. yeah. that's almost complete

UNPOPULAR OPINION

K: i will never regret she's there because she makes my life worthwhile, but why was kasumi recruited in the first place?? she's a thief, not a murder powerhouse

T: can't be considered a dilf til kolyat forgives him and even then, hun, you've got a lot of work to do for your kid (which, he does, of course. but it can't be ignored that thane just. abandoned his child)

S: i think she would've made a more fun companion than liara

FAVORITE RELATIONSHIP

(ignoring shepard)

K: i thought the one she had with the spectre jondam bau was fun. i'd write them going on an interrupted heist-turned-date. or a slow burn enemies to lovers thing. if i had time. i also love that kasumi and samara hang out, referenced in 2

T: thane/irikah, of course! what a powerful couple.

S: i would love to read about shiala studying under benezia, and then the curdling relationship has soverign's indoctrination worms between them. to her being sacrificed to the thorian. and then her learning the death of her teacher. like. there's a lot there and it hurts my feelings when i think about it. love that for me :)

FAVORITE HEADCANON

K: her grandmama. i have her as a badass cat burglar that raised kasumi as not only a beloved grandchild, but also her protege. powerful woman. also cared for mercy, but she dies when kasumi is seventeen

T: that he's got a dick like a vodka tampon

S: she's absolutely ripped. i know it. you know it. we all know it. i like the idea that she's both beefy and intellectual. and in my shepala-rotted brain, she's got a real talent for growing flowers :')