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leidensygdom · 9 months ago

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The ways in which being asexual feels isolating

I've been pondering whether to post this or not, but I figured out I wanted to explain a bit of this experience.

So, I could go on a very long tangent on how being asexual is usually a lonely experience, and how much I've been otherized here and there- Specially in real life. How the same people that claimed to be queer (or allies) had been much weirder about my asexuality than they were about me being bi/pan or whatever.

But I think I wanna talk about how something like that bleeds in every aspect of socializing, even down to something like fandom. I stay away from fandom usually- I like to look at cool fanart and that's about it. I hate discourse, I hate drama, I hate reading people getting worked up because they're treating fanon as canon. But there's one thing I've noticed, over and over, that just sends me off my rails.

And it's how fandom tends to treat asexuality (or aromanticism). So, you get a character in some piece of media that explicitly, unequivocally, states they're either ace, aro, or both. "I do not have interest in a partner", "I don't desire to have sex nor do I enjoy the topic", whatever. And as an ace person, I do appreciate being able to see myself in media- There isn't many chases where something is established that bluntly.

Now, you decide you want to check some fanart for that. Fandoms have this tendency to make absolutely everything about shipping, even when the media they're basing it in does not revolve about that (and it's annoying, because a lot of times people aren't interested in the actual themes- It's all reduced to shipping). Suddenly, you notice people treating the aforementioned character as anything but aro or ace. It's all about shipping. "This person interacted with this other person in a way two friends would, but we gotta make this their entire personality now". Some people may instead go for "well, maybe the character is not having sex, but they're probably an absolute freak about it, studies it extensively, has encyclopedic knowledge about it-"

Now, there's of course sex-favourable aces, and that's completely valid, but it's already straying from what, canonically, the character had mentioned. Asexual or aromantic characters aren't really allowed to exist as themselves. People often see them as a blank slate to fill, to change, to fix. I could talk forever about how people react to real life aces like that. I've had people asking me incredibly invasive questions because they saw my lack of sexual attraction as something broken, something they could fix.

And I hate that! I think I'm allowed to say that I hate that! It's hard and unusual for media to cement an aro/ace character, because they're defined by the lack of interest for something, which is often hard to show. But when it does- No one seems to care. It's all shipping, it's all "well, he's gay in denial", "well, she's probably super repressed". If you took a canonically gay character and made them straight on a fanfic, you'd get angry people. Which is bound to happen when you erase representation that people identify with. But aro/ace characters are NOT even seen as queer, they're not even seen as "representation" by most people. You can erase that bit of it, put some god awful shipping on top, and people will applaud you. And it sucks!

I wish people would see being aro or ace as an identity worth respecting, not an identity that needs overwriting. It feels a bit too close to how people often treat aro/aces irl, and it sucks. It reeks of this sort of exclusionism, where "aro/aces are technically queer but it's queer lite at best, it's less interesting than being gay, and we kinda don't want them near us anyhow". Again, I've had far worse experiences about being ace than I have about not being straight.

Sorry if the post got long, but I hope this experience may at least resonate with other people who have been struggling with this, too. It has always felt just kind of lonely to be ace, and see how little people do even consider it an identity, even when it comes down to something like fandom.

#lgbt #lgbtq #asexual #asexuality #aromantism #aro #ace #aroace #aromanticism #queer #long post

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woso-dreamzzz · 8 months ago

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Cub and Älskling

Mapi Leon x Ingrid Engen x Child!Reader (Cub)

Fridolina Rolfö x Child!Reader (Cub) x Älskling

Summary: You meet Frido's Älskling

The baby is very little.

She's small and cute and is cradled very tightly in Frido's arms.

You stare at her, eyes not moving as she wiggles around. Her eyes are wide as she stares back at you.

You lean closer and her little hand is free of her blankets.

She punches you in the face, right in the nose.

You gasp.

"Mami," You say, turning to look at her," She's so cool!"

Mami laughs in disbelief. "Cool, huh? She just punched you."

"Yeah!" You nod frantically," And I'm bigger than her! She's so cool! Is she your baby Tia Frido?"

Frido shakes her head. "She's my baby sister. I like to call her Älskling."

"Hi, Älskling," You say before gasping again," She smiled at me! Ingrid, did you see? She smiled at me!"

"She must like you, Cub," Ingrid says," You're very likeable."

"I know," You reply," But Mami says babies are difficult sometimes. It's good that she likes me."

You've been waiting for ages to meet Tia Frido's little sister. You weren't at training the day the rest of the team met her.

Ingrid had to send you to nursery that day because it was picture day and Mami really wanted a fancy picture of you.

It made you a little sad to not meet Älskling then but you're happy you can meet her at your house. She keeps looking at you and smiling and you smile back.

She looks really cool and Frido sets her on the floor to explore there. She can't crawl just yet but she can sit up and look around.

She reaches for you and you shuffle closer.

"Careful, cub," Mami says," Remember, Älskling's only little. You must use gentle hands like with Bagheera."

You nod very seriously and get closer again, sitting on your knees. You've got the magic wiggles but you're trying to keep them at bay because you don't want to scare Älskling.

You give her your hand and she wraps a whole hand around one of your fingers. You stare at her, mouth slightly hanging open as she lets go of you.

She grunts, hand curling into a fists as she punches your finger.

You giggle, wiggling a little bit on your knees in excitement.

"She keeps punching me!" You tell no one in particular," She's so cool! Can we keep her, Tia Frido?"

Frido grins triumphantly. "I knew you'd be on my side! But, sadly, she has to go back to Sweden at some point. She lives with my parents. I'd have to kidnap her if she stayed here."

"That's okay," You tell her," You can stay here. Älskling can sleep in my room and you can sleep in bed with Mami and Ingrid!"

Mapi turns pale at that thought.

"I think it would be better if Älskling stayed with her parents, cub."

You flash her a disgruntled look. "Älskling's my new best friend," You say," She can't leave!"

"Don't worry," Frido says," I'll be making sure she comes to visit a lot."

You nod. "Good because she's my new best friend and I want to show her everything."

That sparks an idea in you and you hurry off to your toy crate. You didn't use to have one until Ingrid moved in, took one look at the messy apartment and came back with little crates and storage bins to put things in.

You kind of like your toy crate now because all of them are in the exact same place and you know where to put them when you're done playing - though Ingrid has to remind you a lot to actually put them back in the crate.

You grab a few things you think will interest Älskling like your yellow digger and your magnifying glass. You snatch your løve (lion) from the sofa as well and crowd into Älskling's space again.

She's smiling again and making little giggly sounds as Frido tickles her.

"Here, Älskling," You say, placing your yellow digger next to her. You demonstrate how it moves before showing her the magnifying glass. She seems more interested in that than anything else so you let her hold it.

She's got a very good grip and lifts the toy up to her face before putting it in her mouth. You giggle when she pulls a face at the taste but then sticks it right back into her mouth.

"She's silly," You tell Ingrid," But still fun!"

"You were silly," Ingrid tells you.

"But not now."

She laughs. "But not now."

You keep your distance from Älskling for a little bit, playing by Frido's feet with Bagheera and your digger. You let your magic wiggles all run out before you're up on your feet again and ask the question you've wanted to ask since Frido arrived.

"Can I hold her?"

"Say please, Cub," Ingrid prompts and you correct yourself.

"Can I hold her, please?"

"Of course!" Frido says, tapping the spot next to her," Let's get you comfortable."

#woso x reader #ingrid engen x reader #ingrid engen #mapi leon x reader #mapi leon #fridolina rolfö x reader #fridolina rolfö #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso

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kaileedraws · 5 months ago

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Introduction: Adrien Agreste

Hey fellow miraculers! Here’s Adrien and a little about how he’s going to be portrayed in this AU. I’ll list the characteristics and/or problems that I saw in the show and then delve into how I’m going to take things here. Most of the issues I found in his character is just that his issues aren’t really talked about, but the subtext of a great character is there and he definitely has main character potential

1. His outfit

This is honestly a budget issue/creating recognizable characters for the show, but like all characters, I want to see more Gabriel Agreste fashion on him.

2. Love interest or main character?

In the show, it’s said that he’s the main character, but he doesn’t appear as such. A lot of his emotions, struggles, and life isn’t delved into as much as Marinette, yet he has so much potential. He’s a teenage Rapunzel trapped in a tower waiting for his ladybug in shining armor to come save him. I want to explore not only his fears of losing his freedom, but also his experimentation with rebellion and standing up to his father.

3. Adrien as a Model

In the show, his life as a model isn’t talked about really much, he just thinks it’s boring and it’s a nuisance to him. However, with some research, I discovered how horrible it can be. For one, Adrien would become desensitized to personal space and being touched without permission, putting him into awkward positions in his job and even with classmates. He would get taken advantage of a lot easier. As a model and celebrity, Adrien would also experience Parasocial Confusion — which is when a celebrity has difficulty distinguishing between genuine personal connections/love and relationships/infatuations of fans. This would make relationships with him incredibly difficult.

Additionally, model assault is a huge thing in the fashion industry. Unfortunately, because Adrien is such a pushover and people pleaser, this puts him up to be a prime target for abuse that he probably thinks is just normal (yes this happens, I promise, it sucks.) I want to see a huge character arc with him learning about personal boundaries and learning how to enforce them, with his friends teaching him what is Ok and what is not socially.

4. His personality before his mother dies

If I’m not mistaken, I don’t think we ever get much insight into how Adrien is like before Emilie “disappears.” From what we know about her, she is a princess and an actress, which brings me to my headcanon:

Emilie brought Adrien up on broadway shows, fairytales, and romances — this would explain why he has an “old fashioned” ideology that “boys save girls” (S3E3). This would also explain his gentlemanly behavior— like he was literally written/taught his behavior by a princess (he was. Her name is Emilie).

Inspired by musical theatre and the arts, Adrien began to take dance classes, where he meets Chloe Bourgeois — Emilie is to blame for this, and Gabriel would rather him take fencing, but he gives in. Chloe and Adrien become childhood friends through dance and being partnered often is how they became so close. Based on his “breakdancing” moves as Chat Noir, I think it would also be reasonable that he took other forms of dance too, like hiphop.

As Emilie started to get sicker and sicker, his ambitions for dance and the arts faded. He began fencing like his father wanted to and abandoned dancing. He and Chloe still remained close friends — as this was the only friend he was allowed to have. Gabriel knew Chloe’s dad, after all.

Although Emilie was portrayed to be kind, beautiful, and caring, it’s easy to paint memories of a person better than they actually were. Although she was those things, Emilie also was dramatic, hotheaded, and emotional. If Adrien did something wrong, she’d be quick to scold him harshly, but then just as quick to apologize for her outburst. Toward the end of her life, she was also rather absent from Adrien’s life, as she didn’t have much energy to take care of him anymore. It was difficult for her to take care of him as she got more and more sick, and he would often try to be the best little boy he could because he didn’t want to be a burden on top of her sickness. I mean remember, the last 3 years his dad had gotten him a freaking PEN for his birthday. This occurred when Emilie was still alive.

The person who raised him the most was Nathalie — as his mother became weak, and Gabriel became absent

5. Mental health and coping so he isn’t akumatized

Headcanon that to keep himself from being akumatized, Gabriel has him talk to a counselor who prescribes him multiple medications that work a little TOO well. Meaning? Let’s just say that he starts to become numb to feelings and that it’s just another way for his father to control him — His rebellion streak is going to hit hard yo.

Despite these methods, he’s still going to get akumatized — don’t worry, no one is safe.

His mental health illnesses insinuated from the show include depression, ADHD, parasocial confusion, abandonment trauma, social anxiety disorder, attachment disorder/trauma (which leads to lack of boundaries), and to add some spice, probably claustrophobia (or just feeling trapped). This poor boy has so much he needs to shift through and I’m excited to guide him on an arc to healing.

Conclusion

I think Adrien is my favorite character simply because of how there are certain aspects of him that I heavily relate to — plus he’s such a kind soul who has every right to turn into a villain but stays a sunshine golden retriever boy. It takes a lot of strength and determination to go through so much and be good in the end. I can’t wait to write him in this AU and give the boy the healing and happiness he deserves. There’s so much more I could talk about with him, but this is just the beginning!

#oh no he’s hot #miraculous au #simply miraculous au #miraculous but as older teenagers #miraculous fandom #dark miraculous au #simply miraculous headcanons #miraculous #adrien agreste headcanon #Adrien agreste #simply miraculous #miraculous rewrite #miraculous redesign

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watchyourbuck · 11 months ago

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I really wanted to NOT analyze this scene bc it’s been done so many times but I’m a public menace, so

Buck and Eddie and Chris are at Buck’s loft, after a mission and a less than pleasant conversation w Bobby, and here are my thoughts:

We see Buck (who’s upset), cooking for Chris and Eddie, when — in the whole arc —, we never see him cook for Taylor (or Ali, or really, anyone else but the 118).

Recently therapied™️ Eddie doesn’t give a flying fuck about being interim captain, but has enough eyes to see Buck does. His voice softens, and he gives him foot to discuss his own feelings without hiding them bc Eddie doesn’t share them. (Bonus points bc he makes the same face he made after the lawsuit, in THE Kitchen Scene, when he tells Buck ‘not to beat himself up about it.’).

“Lucy is great– whatever-,” Buck says absentmindedly, and we get a glimpse of Eddie’s smug little face. It kind of implies he knows about the kiss, but opts to say nothing. He did, in fact, cheat on Taylor (and Chris is in the room). But the grin falls a little. Maybe he’s not so nonchalant about it, after all. Or maybe, he knows they (she and Buck) never stood a chance. He looks – relieved, almost.

Eddie feels comfortable enough to keep actually playing with his kid. Enough to win, actually. He doesn’t feel that comfortable at his parent’s house (5x17).

Buck keeps talking about this, and even if he acts like he doesn’t care (and Eddie has dealt with that sarcastic-coping-mechanism-tone Buck does one too many times), he’s visibly angry, so Eddie changes the subject. “What are you offering?”

“Right now? Bobby’s famous lasagna.” Okay, this doesn’t scream ‘I’m cooking you my family recipes’ to anyone else?

Then we have The Diaz’ compliments, which not only sound genuine, but make Buck grin. Like he did something right. Besides, it took him ‘three tries to get it right.’ Interesting, when other in the show has Buck not given up immediately after something doesn’t go his way? Surely, this had to be something he was very keen on achieving, cuz he barely cooks for himself.

Chris’ little ‘you don’t even have a couch’ is very funny to me. Because he’s a kid and he’s joking, or being smart. But Chris isn’t my focus here, it’s Eddie’s reaction. We do know kids absorb what their parents feel and say, right? Eddie laughs, so he must think alike. He looks almost drunk — all flushed cheeks, big smile, squinted eyes.

“My last two couches came with girlfriends” and the IMMEDIATE correction Eddie makes. We know Buck is at his most comfortable with the Diaz boys, so we know he’s not putting on a show. What he says – he means. Of the heart speaks the mouth. That’s how he feels about his past relationships, not the correction Eddie makes. (And if you may let me be annoying here, it’s kinda interesting, the correction. It sounds almost – hopeful. Eddie knows it’s supposed to be the way he corrects him to be, but in a way, he corrects him just to guarantee himself that that’s not what Buck meant ((and it’s not.)).

The way that Buck stops, stares and then plunges down on the chair. ‘Right,’ he thinks, ‘the girlfriends came with couches.’ Again, NOT his initial thought. He hides behind a grin.

Eddie is not careful mentioning Taylor. Buck isn’t heartbroken. He even mentions her in Chris’ presence, and we know by history they’ve always been careful. (If you ask me, that’s the reason they didn’t hook up after the ‘you wanna go for the title?’ scene).

“Maybe I don’t wanna pick the wrong couch again.” Please stay here for a second. In all objectivity we’re talking about furniture…, right? This is a three-street conversation, because Chris added himself to it, yet Buck won’t look at him. He looks at Eddie, very intently. As if… as if he’s saying something different with his words. Huh, whatever could he mean? (Faint whispers of: ‘your couch, you, I wanna pick you, I wanna pick you, pick me, too.’) And then Eddie, who is Oblivious Firefighter of the Year (awarded) brings the conversation down again to the actual topic, and Buck deflates, like his balloon has been popped. His eyes literally stop glimmering.

So, is this a conversation two best friends who are comfortable in that title would have?

#yall tell me #if I’m off I’m off #but I don’t think I’m off #buddie #911 fox #911 #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 tv show #evan buck buckley #buck x eddie #buck and eddie #911 abc #911 on abc #911 buddie #buddie 911

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sonelise · 6 months ago

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one of the best parts about making edits is getting to see everythign play out really slowly, and since animation is so very purposeful, for everything that moves has a reason for it, it's really fun to see the bits that go by too fast to notice naturally. one of these bits that i will never be over is definitely the bow

i firmly believe sonic is bowing here, when he first meets elise, since she is a princess and despite not caring much about this kind of stuff, i do still think that's what he's doing here. he gets up quickly, making the "haha ha one" pose right after but it's not like he couldn't have come in already in the pose, why use THIS pose especifically as a "rest" you know? they took the time to make him do this, i think it's because he's really bowing, it's just a bit fast (as is everything he does lol)

it's also interesting to me to see both sonic and eggman bow in the same way, except in completely opposite directions. at the first second eggman is on screen he is already bowed, that's how he first shows up

meanwhile sonic, of course, shows up on the move destroying everything, despite making eye contact with elise first. i think this could actually be viewed as how they see her? sonic meets her eye to eye first, and only bows later, after blowing up most of the bots, like he sees her first and the princess thing second, which matches how she feels seen by him too. while eggman is bowed even before he's on screen, showing how he sees her as a princess, and as his way to get what he wants, only after lifting to really look at her.

#sonic #sonic the hedgehog #princess elise #dr eggman #sonic 06 #my meta #i guess??? this just kind of happened subsjfn

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mmgwritings · 1 year ago

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RUIN ME, RUIN US

Characters: Kaz Brekker / Dreg ! Reader

Prompts: “I… I want you to touch me,” Kaz admits, while staring up at the ceiling, "There" cheeks reddening in an increasing show of embarrassment. (prompt created by @dumplingsjinson)

Warnings: Smut; Canon divergence; Obviously, I didn't proofread again; Masturbation; Oral Sex; NSFW; Really Long Text Sorry!

The streets were packed with people. Dazzled tourists, ravkan peasants, privileged and neglected children fought for space in the alleys with merchants, prostitutes and pickpockets - all the same, all too happy with the promises of the holiday. Nachtspel was an event during the Kerch year, in Ketterdam the party lasted for more than a week if you looked for the right club to spend money on frivolous pleasures.

This year people commented that the festival would last a month due to the visit of King Nikolai of Ravka, a tall man with a sarcastic smile who every now and then Y/N would bump into in the Slat - a place where kings didn't belong, that much she knew... at least not kings with a good reputation. The visit of the Ravkans was a promise of prosperity, King Nikolai and his entourage were in Ketterdam to bargain a spice trade line with the Council of Tides, a way of linking Ravka, Kerch and Shu Han in a triple alliance.

But it's interesting to think that King Nikolai is smart enough to also bargain with the real monarch of Kerch: Kaz Brekker. Y/N had not yet been in Ketterdam years ago when the Fold was destroyed, when a certain Ravkan prince needed the help of a small gang of thieves. But she heard about all this from Jesper, the Dregs' sharpshooter and part of Kaz's small retinue: the Crows. She also heard about the former king of Ketterdam, Pekka Rollins, and how Kaz made him beg, how he took everything from Rollins: clubs, indentures, friends in politics. Everything.

Well, almost everything. Kaz Brekker remains a mystery.

Y/N met Kaz a few days after arriving in Ketterdam, when he walked into the teashop she tended to. He needed a new waitress for the Crow Club, a seemingly simple job if the additional skill of the position wasn't listening to the conversations of some customers. She accepted, and here she is three years later. And she's dangerously involved with Kaz.

It all started very simply, they barely realized that they were spending too much time together. Y/N in the lounge, taking care of drinks or delivering envelopes to Kaz's office, or sharing a quiet living room in the Slat after everyone went to sleep.

One thing led to another over the years. A whispered conversation after the two drank too much, a longing look exchanged as they left for their posts at the Crow Club, a sleepless night on the building's terrace. But the moment they really realized, admitted, actually, having feelings for each other was when they realized that they needed each other.

For Y/N, their relationship was experienced at two peaks: the calm and comfort of knowing that they both loved each other and the turbulence and insecurity when dealing with Kaz's traumas. Y/N saw the way Jesper and Wylan, Nina and Matthias' relationship bothered Kaz, he wanted to be able to offer Y/N the same level of intimacy.

And that's why they've fought countless times. Silent wars where Kaz reluctantly tried to break up and Y/N pretended not to hear her boyfriend's stupid arguments. When Kaz tried to get away from her in vain, because Y/N always found a way to bother his heart with smiles, jokes and words of affection.

Kaz knew Y/N was patient. She was the best in his world. But, he knew that he needed to become a better man for her. What kind of relationship is this where he couldn't touch her without almost throwing up, fainting?

Y/N realized, just like she notices all the little things that make Kaz human, that he was trying to be more physical. Sometimes he would touch her hand gently, his fingertips gliding across her palm as if she were made of the most fragile glass. Other times he sat next to her on the window sill, too close that she felt his heat. Or when he suddenly decided that they would share the room, the same bed.

That was a difficult moment: Kaz gradually tried to stay close to her, until finally he managed to rest his arm on her throughout the night. But, all of this was done when he was fully dressed. Long-sleeved shirt, thick pants.

The kisses? Impossible. These took longer to go from merely touching lips to touching tongues. Let alone get lost in the moment. A kiss from Y/N would leave Kaz feverish, on the precipice between fainting from anxiety or lust. Sometimes he didn't even know if his trembling hands were a good or bad thing.

But it's over. Kaz, when properly warned, could get carried away. Y/N and Kaz occasionally had make-out sessions, one that left them panting, sweaty and craving for more. Wishing they were like all the other normal people, the ones they heard sighing in the dark alleys when they came back late at night from some mission. Those who occasionally locked themselves in the Crow Club bathroom and came out with a flushed face.

Would today be anything different? Y/N wondered as she went up to her room. Earlier, when she was still in stock at the Crow Club, Kaz spent time with her keeping her company while she counted the products. Y/N could tell he was a little nervous, but she didn't pressure him into saying anything.

So, he finally said a curt "Meet me in the bedroom later" and left for the office before Y/N could ask anything. And here she was, walking into the room and finding the sight of a Kaz Brekker sitting by the window, his eyes vacant into the night.

"Hey, how are you? Where's everyone?" Y/N said, taking off her coat and placing it on the trunk at the foot of the bed. When she arrived at Slat she noticed that it was strangely empty, even for a festival the house always had one or two people in the common rooms.

"Out" muttered Kaz "I gave them the night off." Then he finally looked at Y/N and there was something strange, it was as if he had never seen her in his life, as if he didn't know how to approach her.

"Cool… But, what happened to you? Did you want to tell me something?" Y/N said, approaching him slowly. Kaz sighed and held out his arms, an invitation for her to touch him, to hug him.

Y/N smiled, a gesture mirrored by Kaz, before surrendering to her arms. She was a little shorter than him, barely reaching her shoulders, the perfect height to fit in. Kaz placed a small kiss above her ear, a kiss that ended up trailing to her temple, her cheek, her jaw, the corners of her lips.

And then the famine came. The desire for more, much more. Kaz kissed Y/N's lips, a warm touch. Her hands, which had been clasped behind Kaz's back, moved up to his arms.

And then Kaz's tongue touched Y/N's parted lips strongly, a request, a promise. His tongue was everywhere: first sliding tentatively across her lips, then massaging, then sucking. It was so much more than they'd tried before, Y/N thought, as he nibbled on her bottom lip, pulling her closer into his arms, squeezing as if to make sure she was real.

Y/N didn't need to think much, she didn't want to stop and ask Kaz if everything was okay because, a second later, she felt one of his hands on her ass, groping. They had too many clothes on. Kaz wore a dark, velvety green vest over a white shirt with long sleeves buttoned over the wrist. The pants were black and made of thick material, the ones he usually wears in the invention. Y/N was already wearing a long blouse, the pants she wore were masculine enough to not receive more than two glances from Crow Club customers. But now, she wished there weren't so many layers between them, that the cloths would disappear.

Y/N's hands came up to Kaz's face with a caress, she wanted more than anything to slide her fingers through his hair… so she did, and he allowed it. His kisses were making her dizzy, fervent.

"Kaz," she whispered as he occupied his lips with a new target, her neck. The hands on her ass tensing in search of more, more closeness. "Slow down, Kaz," she protested.

Kaz listened and then stopped, looked at her with dark eyes, his face flushed and his lips red�� lips that Y/N would never get tired of kissing. "I want you" he said "I want you to kiss me until you're sick of it, I want everything… more"

Y/N's heart lost a beat and then pulsed quickly. That was the kind of thing he said in her delirium, when she dreamed and woke up wishing she could just embrace the man who slept next to her. What else could she do upon hearing this request? She kissed him like she had never kissed him before, her fingers threading through his hair, down his neck, to his face.

A sloppy kiss because they've never done it before. Hands roaming each other's bodies more than they dared before. Kaz was all hands. Tightly squeezing her ass or reaching up to her waist, pulling her closer.

Then, one of Kaz's hands went to Y/N's hair, deftly removing the ribbon that held the curls in a messy braid, while his other hand went down to her right thigh, lifting her leg slightly so that he could get closer... Saints, she wanted to be able to melt and merge with Kaz.

Y/N could barely breathe between the kisses, Kaz's lips were all she wanted, she wanted them all over her body, for him to mark her. Then he pulled her towards the bed, bumping into the table, tripping over the carpet and laughing a little at his clumsiness.

She sat on the bed and looked at Kaz, her face flushed and a slight smile on her face. The street light that entered the room bathed him in a warm, golden light, Kaz had never seemed more alive than at that moment. He was the most beautiful person Y/N had ever seen in her life. He looked so carefree as he rested one of his knees between Y/N's legs, his hand tenderly caressing her face and brushing away stray strands of hair from the front of her forehead.

"You're so beautiful", Kaz murmured, his lips resting a soft peck on the tip of Y/N's nose.

"I can say the same", said Y/N. Pulling him to the middle of the bed so he was on top of her. "There are so many beautiful things I can tell you now. But none of them compare to you, Kaz Rietveld."

She kissed his cheek, then his nose, his chin, his mouth. Her hand, the one that wasn't busy cupping Kaz's face, slid down his back, feeling the muscles beneath his clothes tense slightly, then, at the base of his spine, she pushed him slowly until their body was pressed together. Too many clothes, Y/N thought.

Kaz must have had the same thought, because he deftly slipped his fingers between the top buttons of Y/N's blouse. Beneath it there was nothing but skin flushed with desire.

Well, they've seen a bit of each other's nudity over the years they've shared a room, but it's never been this explicit. So raw. Kaz's eyes slid over Y/N's breasts, his fingers following his gaze to her nipples, touching tentatively, seeing how far they could both go. When her only response was a sigh of pleasure, Kaz opened the rest of her blouse and clumsily pulled the fabric from her body.

Mouths, hands, sighs, moans. Kaz offered and received caresses as he rested his mouth on Y/N's nipples, his warm tongue sliding, sucking and nibbling mercilessly. Y/N's hands didn't know where to hold on in the material world, they were in his hair, keeping him as close as possible, on his shoulders, on his arms, pulling him for more.

Kaz realized that his favorite sound was her moans. It was a sound that reverberated through his body like an overwhelming storm that made his heart palpitate heavily, that made his brain melt and that somehow, caused a pleasant pressure to rest in his groin.

Y/N was lost, she didn't know she was so sensitive there. Or maybe this is just Kaz's effect, his talent. When his mouth was on her nipples everything was perfect and horrible, she felt out of control, completely at Kaz's mercy.

When he stopped kissing her was the moment she hated him, but when he looked at her with a shy look on her face, Y/N loved him more than anything. What happened? Y/N wanted to ask, but there was no time, Kaz let out a low, guttural sound when he moved over Y/N, she felt, through all the layers of clothes that still separated them, Kaz's cock pressed against her.

A shiver ran up her spine. Y/N kissed him hard, tongue lashing over Kaz's lips, her nails scratching his arms, pulling him, feeling him. A wave of pleasure coursed through her body as her sensitive nipples came into contact with the raised embroidery of Kaz's vest. She opened her legs wider to accommodate him between her and Kaz's hand went to her ass, pulling her towards his crotch.

Suddenly, Y/N pushed Kaz away. Turning his body so she was on top, she then quickly took off her pants. She's sick of so many clothes.

Kaz was in awe, looking at her body as if it were some kind of miracle, as if some saint was descending from heaven with an offer too good to be true. Or like a demon, leading him to a path of no return. For the first time in his life he felt nothing bad happening, no repulsion, no aversion at the thought of touching someone. He just wanted more from her, wanted to take everything from her, touch her everywhere, but more than anything, he wanted her to touch him.

Their relationship was always smooth, they never talked about sex or about anything other than kisses, but they both wanted the same feeling of fulfillment that all other couples had. So, it was not without shyness that Kaz, completely vulnerable to Y/N, looked at her with pious eyes and pleaded.

"I... I want you to touch me," Kaz admits, while staring up at the ceiling, "There" cheeks reddening in an increasing show of embarrassment.

It was selfish of him to ask that. It was malicious, negligent, narcissistic, asking for pleasure when she was the one who should be adored. But Kaz was never much for bending, he was never pious.

Little did he know that it was what Y/N wanted most.

She smiled and kissed Kaz, her light fingers opening the buttons of his pants, slipping down to his cock. The feeling was very different from what she had imagined, Kaz was warm, soft, firm and… big. Very.

Kaz let out a strangled sound, his hands that rested on her waist fluttered slightly. "Everything is fine?" she asked, the movements of her hand stopped completely, but she didn't remove it.

"Yes," he sighed, closing his eyes in pleasure.

Y/N then moved her hand slightly up and down, gently squeezing the base, sliding the tip of her thumb over the tip of his dick. Feeling the cum spread in his hand. Kaz was discreet, he was trying not to get carried away, she realized, but she could hear the light moans that escaped his lips, she could tell that he was really enjoying it when he tensed his jaw, when he squeezed her ass.

Daring the limits, Y/N lowered Kaz's pants further, finally seeing him completely. It was definitely not what she had imagined. Kaz was very thick, the tip was a dark pink color that glistened with cum and had some prominent veins. She wondered what it would feel like in her mouth.

When Y/N gave Kaz a peck on the crotch, just above the pubic hair line, she looked at him as if asking if she could continue. His eyes were moist, as if it was a difficult task to contain all of his impulses.

“Please,” he begged, one hand caressing Y/N’s cheek. "Please don't stop" he moaned.

She then tried putting just the tip of his dick in her mouth, her tongue testing the taste of his cum, then, tentatively, she saw how much it all fit.

It wasn't much. She didn't have that much experience, she couldn't take his entire dick in her mouth without feeling like she might choke. So, she took turns sucking and licking, from the base to the tip, then, when she saw that he liked it, she held his balls and massaged them lightly. But she never stopped moving her hand in a tempting gesture.

Kaz was getting carried away. When he became very impatient with Y/n's slow movements he begged to be rough, when he felt her tongue passing over the tip, sucking, and looking at him, he let the moans, previously low, sound at ease. Damn anyone who listens.

Please, please, please, he said. Hip thrusting, his dick entering her mouth even more. Beg, Y/N wanted to say, beg for more and maybe I'll let you cum, fill my mouth with it, let you see how you ruin me.

So, when she felt his hip thrusts become more sloppy, when his moans were lost between his panting, Y/N sucked hard on Kaz's cock and felt, in the back of her throat, his cum pooling on her tongue, sliding down her chin.

When his orgasm ended, he was panting and feverish, his hair messy, beads of sweat sliding down his forehead, his cheeks pink. He was a beautiful sight. He was a beautiful mess.

As for Y/N, she was strangely shy under Kaz's longing gaze, feeling cum slide down her chin and drip onto her breasts. "Beautiful" Kaz said, standing up and placing a sloppy kiss on her lips, his tempting tongue lashing into her mouth, both of them tasting him.

"All mine", he whispered, as he pulled her to saddle him. Y/N felt his dick brush against her pussy. "And I want all of you. I want you to ruin me, ruin us."

#mmgwbrekker #six of crows #grishaverse #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader

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wafflexdguy · 2 months ago

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Murder Drones | Realizing their feelings towards you

Rewriting this from my old book, which is outdated.

Pre-Episode 1 just for the sakes of simplicity.

Reminder you're a worker drone here.

In this scenario, they don't confess, I'll save that for a different chapter.

CW! Swearing

---------Uzi---------

Well, it was bound to happen at some point. You cared for her like nobody else did -outside of N, but this takes place pre-ep 1- and didn't treat her like she didn't belong. You took interest in her hobbies and actually seemed to care about her.

Her reaction to it would be one of confusion and maybe slight panic. She didn't expect herself falling for someone, much less anyone at all. Think of the hours that would be wasted on some stupid relationship! No, she had to keep up her little edgy persona.

At least, until she talked to you again. All of a sudden, she forgot all about what her policy was. What was she on about not being in a relationship with you?

The confusion starts to kick in around when you start actually flirting with her if you return the affection, or just extroverted yourself. She usually just waves you off if she's in the middle of something, or yells at you when in the middle of class.

"sHUT UP-"

Whenever your outside of class though, she's more open to it. Not totally against it, but it'll become obvious that she'll want it to stop after her visor is full of blush lines and her just pushing you away. Note that she'll never verbally tell you to stop and only do the tsundere 'ugghgghhghghgh' and try and push past you if your Infront of her.

You'll get rare moments where she'll actually return the compliments, only for her to just say "Don't look at me like that!"

Yeesh, get a room you two.

--------------N---------------

I think he'd realize pretty quickly after your constant affection towards him. Whether that be platonic or not, it definitely caught his eye on how nice you were to him. A murder drone. Then again, he wasn't hostile to you, even after the whole 'incident' with him.

His reaction to it would definitely be an 'oh shit' kind of moment for him, because while, yes, he would absolutely take up a relationship with you in a heartbeat if he could muster up the courage, he also has the whole 'Disassemble all worker drones' thing to deal with, which is where problems start to occur and where he feels the most guilty about.

He will subtilty flirt with you, however. Though, this is primarily through compliments and attempting to lean on a wall that isn't there. You don't bully him for it though, which he should feel honored about, but it's what he's come to expect, as selfish as that may sound. (to him)

He'd never let V or J figure out that he had an attraction to someone else, much less a worker drone of all people. And as mentioned before, that's where problems start to arise. He has feelings towards you, but he actually daydreams (nightdreams?) about you, and that's where J, his boss, gets really pissed off about, and damn near killed him for it.

You'll notice that he seems happier around you, because he'll start showing off around you, like doing anything that'll impress you. You'll continue to praise him for it, and he'll get that extra boost it takes to put up with V and J.

He does occasionally try to obviously flirt with you, pretty terribly kind of? He'll do kind of a flirty face, which just ends up looking goofy or just right. It's really inconsistent, but it's not like it matters because like always, you don't judge him for it.

He won't tell you about his feelings yet. It's not really your problem, anyway... Right?

-------------V---------------

It'd take her awhile to really figure it out. It's not like it immediately clicked for her that she was into you at all, because she never really thought about it. Never even considered the possibility that she may have been attracted to you until you mentioned the constant 'flirting', which was -in her mind- meant to be teasing was "Almost as if you like me or something". When you said that, it's like a switch flipped that she realized that you were right.

Her reaction to it would be mostly denial with a tinge of slight melancholy. Sure, she may like you back, but that might not last for long, because of the whole 'mission' thing. You might catch on to this and mention it once or twice, but she'll just wave it off as nothing important. And in some ways, she was right. It wasn't important in the grand scheme of things.

Until she actually started really thinking about it, and realized it was important to her.

The way she really goes about her feelings towards you is sticking around you more casually and being less of a nuisance and more of an actual friend, or just a flirty nuisance. It doesn't really matter, since she is technically getting the point across.

That transition is slow however, because none of those second thoughts really disappear immediately, and it has her more of just rethinking her relationship with you. For some reason, she can't really imagine a future without you. She finds herself beating herself up for it, because deep in her core, she knows there isn't really anything wrong with having an attraction towards you, but at the same time, you're still a worker drone. The very thing she's supposed to destroy.

And despite her background, you don't care. You treat he like a regular person.

You'll start to notice that she starts to become less psychopathic around you, and actually just hangs around you just because she wants to, and you not having to really hunt her down just to hang out with her. That's not to say she'll just stop suddenly threatening you, because if you start to tease that she seems that she doesn't want to hurt you, she'll think she's proving you wrong by acting more sadistic. It annoys her to some extent when you don't feel threatened by it.

Yeah, she isn't really the best at... expressing her feelings, and just tries to keep it to herself. It's not like you'll return the feelings anyway, so why bother?

That's what she keeps telling herself.

----------J-----------

Oh fucking dammit.

She almost immediately realizes after the first few times that she fails to kill you. You just kind of start talking to her about the things she likes, and generally shifted the vibe from a hostile atmosphere one she actually felt somewhat comfortable in.

She realizes her feelings to you the third time she didn't try to kill you, or internally realized that she didn't want to kill you. It left her being angry -mostly at herself, kind of at you- that she let herself have sentimental feelings to a being below her. How could her priorities just... shift like that?! It leaves her confused and semi-frightened. What if it figures out?

She won't ever show that she likes you if she can help it, but there are a few times where she lets the mask slip, like laughing at one of your puns, or showing genuine interest in one of the stories you like, or just seeming really comfortable in your presence, opposite of the impatient 'I want to get back to work' stance.

Like V, she also feels a little Melancholic. Not because she thinks it's pointless or anything; but because she knows it's pointless. Eventually, it's going to come to copper 9, and all of that emotional attachment she got to you would end up in the shitter.

Unlike canon, you might be an actual reason she'll just switch sides from thinking that Cyn can't be beat, to 'I can at least try', but I'm getting off topic.

Like one of my previous oneshots, she's absolutely going to be somewhat abusive towards you, and it's just going to be you trying to slowly change her to someone that doesn't have to do this, that she can be happy. That she doesn't have to bow down to someone that ruined her life. She ignores you at first, but the more you keep pushing, the more she gets pissed off. But the thing is, is that as pissed as she is, she does listen. She does start to second guess everything, and that's where you finally start seeing a shift in attitude from her.

When you do finally get through to her, she'll just be more casual around you. She still has that 'I'm loyal to the multibillion-dollar company' kind of deal to her, but it's a lot more manageable. She doesn't try to shove it in your face, and actually becomes good company to be around.

She goes from "fuck you I'll kill you' to 'touch them, you die'. But it's not an overnight thing.

#murder drones #murder drones x reader #murder drones v x reader #murder drones uzi x reader #Murder Drones N x reader #Murder Drones N x Reader #J ignoring her feelings towards you feels canon to some extent #But Idk i'm not liam

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idk6123 · 6 months ago

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Boring Foster Home, Interesting Roommate (Lip Gallagher X Male Reader)

Getting back to foster care it’s always temporary. One way or another, the Gallaghers always stay together, for the better or worse. Still, foster care is a bitch, and somehow the group always end up with the worst kind of foster parents. Lip wasn’t surprised at all to learn his foster parents are devout Jehovah witnesses.

“We hold a daily bible study at 4PM. We expect you to dress modestly all the time. You need to ask permission to use the phone, and no cellphones allowed. We don’t allow any kind of media that defies our beliefs. Alcohol and drugs aren’t allowed. Any breaking of these rules will be swiftly punished.”

To be honest, Lip doesn’t listen at all as he follows his foster father. He’s smart enough to know what being a Jehovah Witness is about, and he can summarize it in one sentence: no fun at all cost. They get to the upper floor, as they get pass multiple bedrooms, where he sees other children. There are around 12, as he counts. Most of them years younger than him. Luckily, he manages to get roomed up with someone around his own age.

“You will be sharing your room with Y/N. He helps you settle in. You two go door to door tomorrow, so no fighting.” The middle aged man disappears.

Lip walks in, with Y/N looking pass his bible, which he holds. “I love when people look dead inside the first time they get in here.”

“Not the only time I do.” Lip merely replies. He curiously looks at the bible, but Y/N reveals what he’s actually reading.

“Porn. Gotta be creative around these people.” From between the pages, Lip sees a magazine with many ripped and shirtless men.

Lip then put his bag on the other bed. When he first got here, his new foster parents searched through it and confiscating everything that isn’t allowed to be here, which is about everything.

“Want some help?”

“Not really. They already took 99% of what I brought.”

Still, Y/N closes the bible and stands up to help Lip, mainly with his clothes by putting them in the closet. “Dead parents?”

“Only dead beats. You?”

“Just dead. Since I was 2.” Y/N says as both guys unpack. “Funnily enough, this is better than the previous foster parents.”

“Wouldn’t surprise me.”

The next day, the family got out in the neighborhood and split up to spread the special message. This is the only time they’re allowed to walk freely. That being said, they can’t go anywhere. They only get 4 hours, where they need to be checked up every hour. During the checkups, they get frisked if they get anything bad on them, such as cigarettes. However, that won’t stop the duo.

“They usually feel pity for me and give me there junk. Pretty sure they got something for you too.” Y/N says as he and Lip walk over to a house to knock on the door. After some seconds, the door opens, showing an old grandma. “Hello, Mrs. Partridge.”

“Oh dear god, you’re back.” The old lady then looks at Lip with a sympathetic face. “I see they dragged another unfortunate soul.”

“And I won’t be the last.” Lip semi jokes.

The grandma sighs in disappointed. “Let me get something for you.” She turns around and walks away.

“Lovely lady.” Lip comments.

“Not really. She just really hates Jehovah Witnesses. She’s catholic, you see.”

“Natural enemies.”

The granny walks back, holding a bag of stuff, which she hands over to Y/N. “Make sure to not belief in their lies, young man.” She says motherly to Lip.

Lip put his hand on his chest as he takes an oath. “I won’t.”

“Good boy. Have a sweet day.”

Y/N and Lip turns around, with the one holding the bag checking it out. “Oh, she’s generous today…”

On a bench in the park, Lip is smoking happily, while Y/N is drinking the beer they got. Both of them intend to call it a day and not knock on the door.

“This is some good stuff.”

“Yeah, she usually gives them to me after her husband got long cancer.” Y/N explains. “Not really one of the cigs.”

“More for me.” Lip then gestures Y/N to give him the beer bottle, which he passes on. After a sip, he gives it back. The blonde then looks at the bag of loot. “I’m going to get cancer too if I take all of that.”

Y/N looks back at the bag, seeing the stacks of cigarettes. “I sell what I have over. Speaking of which.” He looks back at Lip. “They take our money when they find out, so we need to hide it.”

“In our assholes?” Lip looks amused.

“No. They can’t check them out, since we’re foster kids.” Y/N says, knowing if they aren’t, they would. “Just put them in your undies and your fine.”

“Cool. 50/50 split?”

“Sure.” With that, they give each other a box as they continue their vices.

Later that day, and it’s time to read the bible, the only book they’re allowed to read. They ate their dinner, and now they just have to wait to sleep. During this time, Lip feels like it takes forever until something interesting happens. It’s too early to sleep, and yet sleeping sound more fun than reading.

Both teens are lying on their bed as they read, but Lip knows what Y/N really is reading.

“Looking at porn?”

“Yep. You might as well call this the Bible.” Without looking away, Y/N talks. “Want some too?”

“Are they all gay?”

“Yeah.”

Lip sighs. On one hand, he isn’t going to enjoy it. On the other hand, he takes everything over reading this. “Whatever. Give it to me.”

Y/N closes his book and get off his bed to lift up his mattress. “What do you feel? Doctor’s appointment? Teacher romance? Military training?”

“Military training.”

Y/N grabs it and throws it towards Lip, who catches it. He put it between the pages of the bible. As Lip begins to check it out, Y/N gets back. In front of him, the genius sees a muscular men wearing military outfits while showing their sixpacks as they touch each other. As Lip opens it, he notices something.

“There is an entire story.”

“Yeah, I’m one for buildup. Think it’s more fun.”

Lip hums. Thus, he begins reading it. He isn’t sure he actually likes it, or he’s that bored he takes gay porn. Still, he likes it. To his surprise, he likes it too much. As the time passes, Y/N sometimes takes glances on Lip, to notices him way too invested. He merely let him be. It takes some time before Lip closes the book.

“Got another one?”

“Did you had fun?”

“Playing with dirt is fun when you live here.” Lip says with a smirk.

Y/N hums. “You know? There are other things we can do then reading porn.”

With a mischievous smirk, he looks at the curious teen, who couldn’t help but look at him. With swiftness, the blonde stands up, jump on Y/N and they begin making out with each other as they begin unclothing themselves and each other.

“And?”

“Pretty good.”

Underneath the sheets of Y/N’s bed, both teens lie next to each other as they recover after their good time.

“And here I thought you were straight.”

“Glad you proved me wrong.” Lip smirks. “I can see why Ian likes it so much.”

“Who’s Ian?”

“My brother.”

“Your brother sounds like a wise guy.”

“No, he’s a moron.” Y/N laughs, as does Lip. As they do, seconds pass and they become quieter.

“I wish we could’ve met under different circumstances.” Y/N speaks up. “Not in some dumb foster home where I can’t even kiss a guy.”

That’s when Lip thought of an idea. “We can make it so foster care take us back.”

Y/N is surprised to hear that. “We can?”

It takes around 2 days for Lip‘s plan to be executed. During which, they set up camera’s in the bathroom, specifically the shower. They planted booze and drinks around the house, hidden, but easy to find for the cops. After gathering their footage, they did what they did and now they can follow up through it.

They make sure their foster father is in the kitchen, while both of them are standing at the living room. With it being an open floor plan, they can be heard easily, without talking to their foster father directly.

“Dude, did you heard?”

“About Mrs. Cunningham?” Y/N replies. Now, their foster father is curious what they’re talking about his wife. “The entire school is talking about it.”

“I still find it ridiculous. Just thought of it.” Lip makes sure to choose his words wisely. Enough for Mr. Cunningham to be curious, without asking them directly. “I checked it out, and they’re right. She’s on MilfsSeeker.”

“And to think she’s so devout… Real shame.”

Both teens hold their smirks as they hear Mr. Cunningham grabbing his laptop and begin typing. It takes a couple of minutes to hear something.

“By the mother of-!? Wanda!”

Both teens can’t help but snicker a bit as they hear the man stomping on the stairs. It doesn’t take long as they begin screaming to each other, with both teens looking up to hear it.

“Are we going to call them now?” Y/N asks.

“Yep.”

And so, they’re back at Foster care without a home, where they’re being asked about their former home situation. The younger ones were asked separately, while Lip and Y/N both got questioned together. Both of them are sitting at an office, talking to a lady.

“I sometime see her smoking on the porch. Looks like she did it on the regular.”

“Me too. Mrs. Partridge warned me about them. And turns out, she’s right.”

“We make sure something like this ever happens again.” The woman says. “We want to sincerely apologize for putting you in such a dangerous situation. Especially after Mr. Cunningham became physical.” The woman then looks at Lip. “I got good news for you. Everything has been taken care of back at your family, and you’re allowed to go back.”

“Finally.” Lip mutters tiredly.

Y/N smiles. “Congrats.”

“Thanks.” Lip says with a smile as he looks at him, only to see Y/N’s hollow eyes. Even if he left this bad foster home, it’s unknown what crazy other foster home he goes to. Thus, he looks back at the foster home lady. “Is there any chance Y/N can go with me?”

“Lip?” Y/N looks surprised he would do something like this for him.

“I’m sorry, but you need to have permission to take care of a foster child, even if they’re 17 old.”

Although Y/N looks disappointed, Lip got a better idea. “I know who’s allow to.”

“Welcome to your new home, buddy!” Y/N is extremely startled as Kevin warmly greets him. In the sunset, he sees his new house. He would describe it has a ghetto, but Kevin and Veronica look like good people, so he sticks around for now. “You’re going to love it here.”

“Don’t act so exciting. You’re scaring him.” Veronica scolds him.

“It’s alright. It’s way better than… all the other foster homes I was in.”

“That’s because we’re the best!” Kevin proudly smiles. “Let us show you to your room and help you unpack.”

Inside of his new room, Y/N is unpacking all his bags. It isn’t much, because he wasn’t allowed much. It’s mostly clothes. He was quite insisted he can do it on his own, which Kev and V both respected and they get downstairs to prepare for dinner. As Y/N unpacks, he hears a tick from the window. He didn’t thought much about it, until he hears it again. Thus, he walks over it and look out, to see Lip outside, who was throwing small stones. With a smile, Y/N opens the window.

“Hey, I heard a cute guy moved in and I thought I should say hi.”

Y/N chuckles. “Hey. You really did me a favor.”

“Oh no, it’s not a favor. It’s a deal.” Lip explains. “You see, I got you a better home, and in return, I expect a date.”

“Like you didn’t get that either way. You should’ve demanded for more.”

Lip hums amused. “I could always ask for sex.”

“I can repeat my previous statement, but sure.” Y/N smiles. He looks back at his room, before looking back at the guy he likes. “I have to pass for today though. Dinner is almost ready and want to sleep normally.”

“Sure thing. Buuut… I still feel like spending time together. Any chance Kev and V can add another plate?”

As both teens smile, Y/N can easily reply with one simple answer. “Sure.”

#shameless #lip gallagher #lip gallagher x male reader #shameless x male reader #shameless x reader #lip gallagher x reader

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penguwastaken · 8 months ago

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Nobody Understands Mukuro Ikusaba (aka Mukuro Character Analysis)

...except for the people that do (lol).

But first I want to clarify what I mean by this title and why I even wrote this thread in the first place. Mukuro is my second favorite Danganronpa character, only beaten out by Kyoko. There's a lot of reasons why I really like Mukuro, but one of them is her writing.

I think she's one of the best written characters in the series. But unfortunately, she also happens to be one of the most misunderstood characters as well. Not even by the people who don't like her, but also by her own fans.

"Mukuro has incestuous feelings for Junko" "Danganronpa 3 retconned her character" "Mukuro was just a plot device" These are all claims that baffle me because simply just consuming the media will say otherwise.

To many, Mukuro is either a one note incest freak or a pure innocent cinnamon roll who did nothing wrong and both of those interpretations are wildly incorrect. I've been meaning to write this post for a while, but we're finally here.

Nobody understands Mukuro Ikusaba (a ""🧵"") (Spoiler warning for the entire series)

Story Overview

We don't actually know too much about Mukuro's backstory aside from the fact that at a young age, she was separated from her younger twin sister Junko. Before being taken away, she claims that she was homeless and after she was taken she was forced to become a member of the military group Fenrir.

So clearly Mukuro never really had the chance to have a normal life, and more importantly: never had a chance to feel the care of another person.

Her sister, who Mukuro had not seen in years, suddenly got in contact with her and called Mukuro over to participate in her plan to overthrow Hope's Peak Academy (and the world). Mukuro, who already felt bad for losing her sister and was desperate for any kind of affection, accepted and began working for Junko.

Junko took advantage of Mukuro's desperation and had her basically work as a servant to her plans. She started by having Mukuro wipe out the entirety of a middle school in order to prove Mukuro's skills and how far Mukuro would go for her.

With that out of her way, Junko made Mukuro obey like her servant in order to overthrow Hope's Peak and cause the tragedy. Mukuro did so without batting an eye and disregarding any second thoughts she might have had, all while facing Junko's abuse.

During her time attending Hope's Peak, Mukuro met Makoto Naegi. Unlike most of her classmates, Makoto was friendly to her and showed her compassion. This confused her as we already established that Mukuro wasn't used to affection. Because of this and her tendency to latch onto anyone who shows her even an ounce of care, she began to develop feelings for Makoto (that even Junko acknowledged).

"In the past two years, Ikusaba had gained an interest in the world beyond her sister. And in that world, Makoto Naegi--the first person who smiled at her and bridged the gap between her and the world--had become like a sapling of sincerity taking root in her heart." -Danganronpa IF confirming Mukuro's feelings for Makoto

"Upupupu… I wonder what kind of fun you were having in the infirmary? Did you take care of your rival in love, or did you wish them a happy marriage? Either way, don't you think our nice guy Naegi standing side-by-side with Kirigiri makes for a wonderful picture? If this were a thriller, they'd be the last surviving couple!" "Upupupupu… Or how about just killing all of the others? If everyone but you and Naegi die, then the two of you can spend the rest of your student lives together! After all, we can't even hold a trial if there's only two people left. Maybe it'll be best if you just hole up here, safe in the building forever!" "And what're you going to do once he goes back to his old self? It's not as if you were dating Naegi, right? You were just watching him from afar all this time! Now this is a shock. You can shoot right through people's heads and hearts without even blinking, but you can't even steal away some skinny little boy's heart! You want me to tell you who Naegi had a crush on before his memories were erased? Upupupupu…" -Junko teasing Mukuro about her feelings as she aids Makoto in Danganronpa IF

Once the tragedy occured, Mukuro was locked inside of Hope's Peak with Junko and the rest of their classmates and she helped orchestrate the killing game. She disguised herself as Junko, under the impression that Junko would fake her death and they could spend the rest of the game together.

This is when the seeds of doubt began to sprout inside of Mukuro. I wouldn't say that she necessarily began to go against her sister, but she definitely was starting to get a little more hesitant.

"It was only recently that she began to question her mindset. Hearing about this plan from Junko and watching the world burn at the hands of people in Monobear masks did nothing to sway her, but when she heard that Junko was intending to plunge Naegi and the others into a game of murder, something within her began to move. The seed of doubt soon took root, sprouting into a thorny vine that twisted around her feet. And the moment she met her friends for the first time under the identity of Junko Enoshima and realized their memories were truly gone, the vines quickly tightened around her ankles." -Danganronpa IF describing Mukuro's feelings when the killing game began

To Makoto and the player who are under the impression that this is Junko, they assume that she's referring to not wanting to be a model anymore. But given her backstory of never being able to live a normal life and always having to fend for herself or follow the orders of others, we can infer what she actually means. She expresses disappointment in the fact that she never really had a chance to do what she wanted.

This all culminates in the moment where Junko was supposed to fake the death of Mukuro, but that isn't what happened. Instead, Junko killed Mukuro and betrayed her. To say that Junko felt no remorse from this action would be a lie, however. Junko only did this because she knew it would hurt both of them.

...but what if that wasn't what happened? What if Mukuro wasn't killed? What would happen then? That brings us to:

Danganronpa IF

Danganronpa IF answers the hypothetical question of what if Mukuro survived Junko's attack. Of course this means it isn't canon, but due to Kodaka being involved with its creation and its existence as an event that hypothetically could have happened, it is canon compliant. This means that while the events didn't happen in canon, they could have and things like characterization are all accurate. Think of it like an extended free time event. While the events themselves aren't canon, the things they say and imply are. I'll also be referencing Danganronpa IF a lot because since it's told from Mukuro's perspective, it gives a lot of insight on her thought process.

After regaining his memories, Makoto recognizes and rescues Mukuro seconds before her would-be death and he gets impaled by one of the spears. Mukuro rushes to save him, abandoning her disguise and goal.

During this time, Mukuro does a lot of thinking. Why did Junko try to kill her? For all the time they've been working together, Mukuro always assumed that her job was to prop Junko up and help her achieve despair.

It turns out that Junko didn't want Mukuro to obey Junko's every order, Junko wanted Mukuro to retaliate. She didn't want Mukuro to submit to her, but instead to fight back.

With this Mukuro changes her mind, choosing to fight Junko instead of assisting her. Not because she's on the side of hope, she never cared about hope or despair, but because she only wants what's best for the only person in her life who cared for her.

"'That's why… I'll take responsibility. I'll make you happy, Junko . I'll make youdespair. I'll save Naegi-kun… I'll make sure none of our friends die. I'll get them all out of here. And I'll kill every last one of the ones on the outside. You planned this for years and killed so many people to make this work… so I'll destroy every last trace of it.' She was not driven by resentment at the sister who abandoned her. Ikusaba would do all this for her sister's sake." -Mukuro changing her approach to making Junko happy in Danganronpa IF

Who is Mukuro Ikusaba?

Now this is the part where I finally exit the synopsis phase and finally get into the character analysis, explaining why Mukuro acts the way she does in all entries.

Now, I want to begin with a common critique of Mukuro's character, specifically one that's attributed to Danganronpa 3. The one that says that Mukuro's behavior is not only out of character, but also claims that she has romantic feelings for her sister.

First point out of the way, Mukuro's blushy and flustered attitude is nothing new when it comes to her character. It's been an aspect of her since the very beginning of her characterization.

"'I don’t know if… she attracts despair, or despair attracts her, but… she’s lived her whole life with despair by her side. She lived while immersed in despair. That’s why she began looking for despair in others; she began to enjoy pushing people into despair. But you know… that’s normal. It’s no different than someone cursed by misfortune falling into hatred for those who are better off than them. But what’s special about her was that… she learned to enjoy inflicting despair upon herself. That’s how the link to despair began: as she chased down despair, she pushed it onto others along the way. Doing so caused her to crave falling into despair even more… and because of that chain to despair, the Ultimate Despair was born.' While she spoke, it was like she fell into a fever; the expressions on her face slowly turned into ecstasy. It was so completely absurd that it would have been difficult for anybody to think of it as anything but a joke, but I could tell that this was real. It might have been the hazy memories of Junko Enoshima inside me that led to that conclusion. 'You don’t get it right? That’s fair, I don’t think anybody could… But you know, only I can understand it…' Consumed by ecstasy, even Ikusaba’s breathing had begun to turn ragged." -Mukuro describing Junko in Danganronpa Zero

The second (and more important) point to address is the one that Mukuro holds some kind of romantic feelings for her sister. Now, in all honestly, I can't hold this against anyone for thinking this even if I think it's a wild misinterpretation of her behavior. Danganronpa has a track record of using incest for comedic effect (to always poor results). However, Mukuro's relationship with Junko is not used to comedic effect and it's portrayed in a negative light. Not only that, we know that Mukuro does not enjoy behaving that way.

"'She hoped that, perhaps her sister on the screen would say something like 'Not! You seriously thought I'd say something that sappy? Jeez, you're annoying! Can't you just disappear forever or something?'. She hoped that Junko might criticizeher and call her useless. Ikusaba was no masochist, but she would have preferred to hear scornful laughter and be shot at rather than continue to endure this pain." -Danganronpa IF explaining Mukuro's "masochism"

Mukuro doesn't behave the way she does because she has feelings for Junko, she does so because she believes that's how Junko wants her to behave. Danganronpa Zero and IF makes it clear that Mukuro was wrong about how Junko wanted her to behave.

“'You don’t get it right? That’s fair, I don’t think anybody could… But you know, only I can understand it…' Consumed by ecstasy, even Ikusaba’s breathing had begun to turn ragged. 'Only I’m able to understand her… That’s why she needs me. She still hasn’t realized it, but… maybe she’s only pretending not to. Ufu… It’s because she’s so shy. Ufufufu…'” -Mukuro explaining that Junko needs her in Danganronpa Zero

"Ikusaba knew that not even she herself was her own ally. After all, despite the fact that Junko had betrayed her and very nearly killed her, Ikusaba still believed that she was the only one who could understand her little sister. And that was why she felt that she had to protect her. That's right… you were just being you, Junko. You just wanted despair, right? It's because you love me. You wanted to kill me and fall into despair. That must have been it" -Mukuro in denial in Danganronpa IF

"Ikusaba believed that she alone could understand the despair known as Junko Enoshima. It was a ludicrous notion. The moment Junko said, 'I love you', Ikusaba realized--to her agony--that she never truly understood her sister. Only now had she come to realize Junko's feelings." -Mukuro realizing that she didn't understand Junko in Danganronpa IF

Because of Mukuro's incorrect interpretation of understanding Junko, Mukuro believes that Junko expects her to respond to her abuse with acceptance and masochism. Even if she was uncomfortable to, as long as it made Junko happy, that's what mattered. Of course, we learn that Junko wanted Mukuro to respond her abuse with retaliation, and as soon as Mukuro realizes that her behavior immediately shifts. Mukuro holds a great deal of admiration for Junko, so much so that she only wants to do what would please Junko the most.

She does not have romantic feelings for her sister and to say so misses the point entirely. She isn't behaving that way because she's a masochist, she behaves that way because she believes it's how she's expected to, even if she's visibly uncomfortable. Once she learns this isn't what's expected, she immediately changes course.

Danganronpa 3 also has official relationship charts that depict the relationship between characters. In this chart, crushes or explicitly shown romantic feelings are labeled with a heart (as seen with Kazuichi's attraction to Sonia or Toko's attraction to Byakuya). Mukuro's relationship does NOT feature this heart. You would think that if Mukuro's very obvious admiration towards Junko was romantic it would have a heart, but it doesn't because it isn't. If what I said before didn't convince you, I think this itself is proof enough.

Mukuro's admiration doesn't extend to just Junko though. Due to her unfortunate upbringing, Mukuro has a tendency to get attached to anyone who shows her the affection she's desperate for. So much so that her behavior changes completely around the people she cares about.

"The mass of monochrome spun round and round, making it look as though they were projecting a hypnotic image from three directions, but Ikusaba remained expressionless. In fact, the bizarre sight unfolding before her compelled the Super High School Level Soldier to regain her focus. She was an entirely different person from the girl who had panicked at Naegi's injury in the gymnasium." -Mukuro while fighting in Danganronpa IF, behaving completely differently from when she panicked over Makoto's injury

"Not only that, if anyone who knew her as the Super High School Level Soldier and mercenary were to see her now, the difference in her attitude might even make her look like another person altogether. And Monobear continued to drive the girl into a corner." -Mukuro panicking over Makoto's injury in Danganronpa IF

"The mask of ice she wore around others was entirely unlike the face she showed her sister, making it almost seem as though she had multiple personalities." -Danganronpa IF explaining that Mukuro's behavior around Junko is different from her typical icey expression

This is why around most people, Mukuro has a pretty blank expression. However when she's around Makoto or Junko, the two people who she cares about, she displays a much more soft and emotional side.

That being said, an often overlooked aspect of Mukuro is that she actually has a slight ego and is proud of her skill. This is especially obvious in her fight with Peko in Danganronpa 3. Of course, if I spent years in the military without getting a single scratch, I'd probably have an ego too.

Mukuro is also capable of turning off her feelings and going into a "killing machine mode" whenever the situation demands it, mostly when she's carrying out some mission. It's not because she doesn't feel bad for what she's doing or isn't having any second thoughts, it's that she pushes any doubts to the side to focus on getting the job done.

"In battlefields, where she made her home, her main mission was to kill and survive. And in that setting Ikusaba was invincible. She could put her own emotions on a leash in order to become a killing machine." -Danganronpa IF explaining how Mukuro is capable of ignoring her own feelings

"With a single whisper that was drowned out by the sound of gunfire, Ikusaba went completely silent. Thanks to her status as a member of Super High School Level Despair, her heart was filling with joy. And as if to offset the sudden surge of emotions, the sparkle in her eyes disappeared." -Mukuro turning her emotions off while fighting in Danganronpa IF

So Basically...

Due to her upbringing Mukuro is someone who gets attached to people easily, particularly those who give her attention. Junko took advantage of this to make Mukuro essentially act as her servant. Believing that Junko expected her to return the abuse she faced with enjoyment, she forced herself to do just that. Even if it made her uncomfortable, making her sister happy at her own expense is better than being alone. She's capable of turning off and ignoring her emotions to following orders when necessary and is generally a proud and skilled soldier, though she has a softer side that she only shows to people who she cares for.

That is who Mukuro Ikusaba is.

Conclusion

There's a lot of reasons I really like Mukuro. I think she's silly and cute and I like her singing voice. But I also think her characterization is really good in all of her appearances. I think a lot of the critiques made towards her (especially towards her appearance in Danganronpa 3) are misguided or just a result of her being misunderstood.

She's not a plot device or a character exclusively there to act as an extension of Junko. She's filled to the brim with character depth and interesting writing and has plenty of characterization on her own. I'll admit that her presence in Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc is a bit limited, however she doesn't just become an important character in four other entries without getting some kind of development.

Many think her characterization is inconsistent or different across entries, but I honestly think it couldn't be any MORE consistent. The only times where I'd say she acts out of character is in the comic anthologies, but those are non-canon media that's kinda known for flanderizing characters for the sake of comedy.

Basically, I like Mukuro. I hope I managed to change some minds or shed a new light on her to anyone who didn't before. And if you already liked her, I hope maybe I could make you appreciate her a bit more or just help you explain her in some way.

anyways follow me on twitter cough cough

Also special thanks to Twitter user @LKSixtyfour for their tweets about Mukuro's characterization, many helped me organize my thoughts to form the thread that you just read.

Edit: didn't make any changes to the post, just fixed some typos

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iamgonnagetyouback · 1 month ago

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hey there, ‘s me <3 so, my first request will be for a story in a shell 🦪 for mattheo, with the "exes to lovers" trope i’ve been obsessed with lately, and the song will be sabrina’s good graces that i’ve been listening to pretty much ever since the release. i think it would be cute with the trope. thanks in advance 💘

Hey there me, it's Ivy! ⁠(⁠(⁠・⁠▽⁠・⁠)⁠)づ (sorry that was a terrible joke; I think it's my dad's influence) Anyways, thank you so much for requesting, honey (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝) And yes I had good graces playing on loop the whole time I was writing it (๑ > ᴗ < ๑)

ivy's 1k celebration 🦪 navigation 🦪 characters

ˋ°•*⁀➷ MATTHEO RIDDLE exes to lovers with good graces by sabrina carpenter

The party was in full swing, voices buzzing and music thrumming through the walls. You could feel eyes on you, not the least of which belonged to Mattheo Riddle from across the room. Every so often, you’d look his way, meeting his gaze with a taunting smirk before turning your attention back to Theo, who was by your side, grinning like he knew exactly what kind of game you were playing.

The sound of laughter bubbled up as you leaned in closer to Theo, trailing a finger down his arm and smiling sweetly. “You know, I think you might actually be my favorite person tonight, Theo.”

His laugh was smooth, leaning closer to match your energy. “Glad to hear it. Though I can’t say that’s everyone’s opinion tonight.”

You knew who he was talking about but before you could answer, a familiar voice cut through the noise.

“Interesting, isn’t it?” Mattheo’s tone was laced with a mix of annoyance and a bit of jealousy as he looked between you and Theo, his jaw tight. “Didn’t know you’d be here, Theo.”

Theo just raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Hey, it’s a party, man. She invited me, didn’t she?”

You turned to Mattheo, one brow raised as you toyed with the rim of your glass, letting the tension settle thick around you. “Jealous, Riddle?”

His lips curved into a smirk, though his gaze was anything but amused. “Only if I thought there was anything real going on here.”

“Oh?” You leaned in closer, voice dropping, making sure only he could hear you. “Guess you should have stayed in my good graces, huh?”

A flicker of irritation crossed his face, but he didn’t back down. “Funny, coming from someone who used to be ‘sweet like an angel,’ as if you’d do anything for me.”

You shrugged, giving him a slow, infuriating smile. “I am still 'sweet like an angel', Mattheo. But I don’t waste that and my time on people who don’t deserve it, sweetheart. Besides, there are plenty of other guys who appreciate my attention. Like Theo here,” you added with a pointed look, making sure he caught your meaning.

His jaw tightened, his voice dropping lower as he took a step toward you, closing the distance between you. “You think this is funny? Trying to make me jealous?”

“Why would I care what you think?” You whispered, just close enough that he could feel the warmth of your breath against his skin. “Trust me, darling, I don’t give a fuck about you. Not anymore.”

There was a spark of something dark and hungry in his eyes as he leaned in even closer, his lips just barely grazing your ear. “Then why are you still here, talking to me?”

“Who says I’m here for you?” you countered, your voice all bite, but your heart was thudding as you took in every feature of his face. “You’re the one who keeps showing up, trying to ruin my fun.”

“Oh, is that what I’m doing?” he murmured, his voice dripping with sarcasm, but his hand lingered near yours, fingers almost touching. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you’re really over it.”

You clenched your jaw, refusing to let him see you falter. “I’m over you, Mattheo,” you whispered fiercely, lips brushing against his ear, sending a shiver down his spine.

His eyes darkened, a wicked smirk twisting his lips as he looked at you, clearly unfazed. “You really want me to believe that?”

“Believe whatever you want,” you retorted, crossing your arms. “It’s not my problem if you’re still caught up on something that’s long gone. Just don’t expect me to sit around waiting for you to get it together.”

A dangerous glint sparked in his gaze, that familiar cockiness slipping back into place as he edged closer, eyes boring into yours. “You don’t waste time, huh? Right. So that’s why you’re here, standing in front of me, talking like you care about every word I’m saying.”

Your breath hitched for just a second before you steeled yourself, stepping back. “Don't mistake my nice for naïve, Riddle, I’m done. So unless you’re here to show me something real, you can find someone else to play your games with.”

He just stared at you, frustration flickering across his features as he tried to find the words. “Maybe I don’t know what to say. But maybe I’ll figure it out.”

For the first time that night, you let a little softness creep into your tone, though you didn’t let him see any hint of weakness. “Yeah? I guess we’ll see.”

You turned, disappearing back into the crowd, leaving him standing there, the mix of frustration and longing plain on his face.

The night dragged on, tension simmering between you and Mattheo like fire, every glance, every shared look, a new unspoken challenge.

Eventually, you stepped out into the night, the cool air biting at your skin. You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath, trying to shake off the lingering feeling of Mattheo’s words—and the way they still made your heart race.

You’d barely gotten two steps outside before you heard him again, his voice unmistakable. “Leaving so soon?”

You didn’t turn, knowing he was already close behind. “And if I am?”

He let out a low chuckle, the sound sending a thrill down your spine. “You don’t have to play coy with me. You and I both know there’s unfinished business.”

Turning slowly, you met his gaze, refusing to let him see the conflict raging inside you. “You keep talking, but I don’t see any actions, Mattheo. You don’t get to act like you care after all this time.”

He stepped forward, his face a perfect mask of intensity. “You’re right. I don’t deserve it. But I’m still here, aren’t I?”

The air between you was thick, every word charged with the weight of old feelings. You fought to keep your voice steady, refusing to give him any satisfaction. “Then maybe it’s time for you to stop waiting around. If you think you deserve my time, prove it.”

There was a flicker of determination in his eyes, his hands reaching out to cup your face. You froze, feeling every inch of distance between you vanish in an instant. He looked down at you, his voice low and hoarse. “Then let me prove it.”

The seconds dragged on, tension thick and consuming as he leaned down, capturing your lips in a kiss that was as intense as it was inevitable. You gave in, matching his fervour, the unresolved anger and passion spilling into each kiss, each lingering touch.

Finally, you broke away, breathless, heart pounding as you met his gaze with a knowing smirk. “Stay in my good graces, Mattheo. Or I’ll walk out of your life and never look back.”

His gaze softened, a smirk of his own tugging at the corners of his lips. “I don’t intend to mess this up again.”

For once, you let your guard down, allowing a touch of vulnerability to show as you looked up at him. “Good. Because I don’t give second chances.”

His fingers brushed a strand of hair from your face, his eyes warm and full of promise. “Then I guess I’ll just have to make it count.”

And for the first time, you felt like maybe, just maybe, he was ready to do exactly that.

#ivy's soft scribbles ೀ #ivy's 1k celebration ✧₊⁺#story in a shell 🦪#mattheo riddle fluff #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle angst #mattheo riddle #mattheo x reader #𝐤𝐢𝐫𝐚: 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡

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lowkeiloki · 1 month ago

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Cookie is a really interesting character to me. looking at things from her perspective, she got assigned a godchild, something she had probably been looking forward to, only to find out two other fairies took her godchild for themselves without permission, and as incopetent as they seemed they got to keep her. she fails to connect with her godchild because shes already attached to the other two fairies. like yeah thats a pretty good reason to be angry. but with all that in mind Cookie is still a pretty terrible person, she never listens to Hazel and only talks about herself, she never even tries to connect with her because she expects her to already like her, she treats everyone around her like trash including her own pet. shes a pretty one dimensional asshole all things considered, but, again, she does have a reasonable motive to hate cosmo and wanda. i actually want to see her develop, keep her diva attitude but actually learn to listen to people from time to time, maybe find a godkid she actually connects with and cares about and make amends with Furray. or just have your standard villain to minor inconvenience to somewhat ally arc, most fairies from the og show had that same kind of development (jorgen, juandissimo, mama cosma, cupid etc.) and i wouldnt mind for that to continue bc it slaps every time

also i just want more major female fairy characters, please

#i dont think thats where her character is going but a girl can dream #fairly oddparents #the fairly oddparents #fairly oddparents a new wish #fop a new wish

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carolmunson · 2 years ago

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okay, since some of you asked for it:

unpopular opinion but i don’t actually think eddie was a nice soft boy at all. dustin and mike are literally afraid to ask him to move hellfire. ‘he’s always revved up,’ implying that he’s always like this, always a little close to snapping. he’s not nice to them when he asks them to find a replacement. he also guilt trips them about 'taking them in like lost sheep' and shoves them off to find a replacement instead of keeping lucas included. which is why i don't understand the 'fierce protector of his friends' take because he's so quick to drop lucas just because he's 'moved to the dark side.' aka, throwing balls into laundry baskets.

which leads me to when he gets up on the table, people are not trying to fuck around with him. this is a common occurance, people are not surprised to see him up there and yelling. they aren't surprised that he's making a spectacle of himself. if eddie was soft and sweet, he would’ve gotten beat up. if eddie was soft and gentle, he'd probably be scared of jason. guys like jason in the 80s loved being macho and punching out losers — eddie just gave him the devil horns and called it a day. eddie’s absolutely gotten in fist fights before and won (his dad is a literal criminal!) otherwise someone would've thrown something or told him to shut the fuck up. people are scared of him, even his own friends! there’s more reasons than just playing DND and metal that make town certain that he’s a cult leader. you don't just assume someone is a murderer if they haven't shown any interest in violence before, especially considering his dad was likely a shitty dude. he even bullies erica when she first shows up to hellfire and only respects her when she bullies him back and bests him. he is someone you have to EARN respect from. he will never respect anyone outright or be understanding outright. he doesn't fully respect dustin or mike to start either, he views them as underlings.

even chrissy assumes he's going to be mean and scary, there's gotta be reason behind that. he's not nice or kind in school, which is likely a defense mechanism. he’s sweet with chrissy because he likes her, he has a crush on her. it’s very clear that he has since he was a kid, otherwise why would he bring up them hanging out in middle school? why would he even remember that if he hasn’t been pining for her this whole time? he admits too, albiet flirtily, that he thought SHE'D be mean and scary too, because he doesn't like people 'like that', people he assumes are 'on the dark side'. i’m sure he hoped they’d kiss a little when she went to his trailer. he's even a little sarcastic when she's there, again, defensive. 'the maid took the week off'. but ultimately, he's nice to her because he wants to kiss her and has a crush on her. i don't think it's because he's fully 'showing her who he really is'.

also he's a literal drug dealer????? like?????

he only becomes more gentle and open with dustin and co. when he gets pulled into the upside down/vecna stuff because he needs support. they grow a bond over shared trauma. and i do believe eddie had a big brother type relationship with dustin, but just like steve he loves him begrudgingly 'i love you, you little shit bag' kind of shit. i do believe he liked and cared for his friends but i also think he always had a big layer of mean kid armor on because he had a hard life growing up. how i percieved the character is 'mean bully whose secretly nice but is mean and boisterous and loud as a cover' trope. when he explains that his father taught him to hotwire, he seems bitter about it. of course he is, all the other kids were learning to play ball. but he obviously still retains this information and a whole bunch of other crime tricks from his dad. he's BEEN partaking in this shit. he KNOWS he's a shitty guy. you don't just get taught how to hotwire once and then suddenly know how to do it years later. he's done it before! multiple times! he has practice! he likely knows about warzone cause his daddy absoLUTELY had a gun or two. his dad probably took him there once. he was pulled left and right into bad shit growing up and that will HARDEN YOU. wayne says that murder 'ain't in his nature' and i'm sure it's not. i'm sure he's different with wayne, but idk, to me, it doesn't erase the fact that outwardly, i don't think eddie was nearly as sweet and gentle as people think he is canonically. i think he's a very hardened and tortured person and that even becomes clear with his reaction to chrissy's death and how he goes about things going forward. he was a weird kid with weird interests in a cookie cutter conservative town, had a criminal father, and an unconventional family situation in the 70s and 80s, that shit'll fuck you up and over -- look at boomers y'all! they are emotionally stunted! but, i could go on forever with this character analysis. so i'll stop here. but -- in the words of the real housewives reunion meme: that's MY OPINION!

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joejhang · 1 month ago

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every insane thing in arcane season 2 act 3

ep 7 was a masterpiece truly took me out

lowk really funny the way they cut from the happy, (almost) perfect world au to jayce hallucinating and eating raw meat

TIMEBOMB CANON????? lowk didn't see the appeal of it UNTIL NOW WTF WAS THATTTTT

au powder MY GIRLLLLL

dude they yassified silco in the au too. i'm hearing y'all out this time.

HEIMER???? he was such a real one bro

jayce hallucinating mel and viktor and the two of them being interchangeable/intertwined in his mind. which could mean nothing.

also on that note i KNEW everyone was too quick to judge my boy jayce GOD what an interesting character

the "pretend like it's the first time" thing kind of killed me a bit i might've cried a little

it really just proves WE COULD'VE HAD IT ALLLLLL

killing IS a cycle

jinx w her hair out was something i didn't know i needed

caitlyn and jinx's dynamic is SO YUM i need more of their tense interactions

caitvi argument like five mins into the episode lowk gave me life I LOVE ANGST

jinx and vi continue to kill me slowly

everyone who ever said vi gave up on jinx or was a bad older sister i hope u guys CHOKE on ur fucking words

caitvi sex scene...in a jail cell...bro they were wildin

"i saw someone" "i don't fucking care" SUCH A VI THING TO SAY GODDDD I LOVE THEM

they have sm chemistry god

somehow they made mel's character design even more gorgeous than before tf

viktor was lowk wildin but i don't really care i love that man

ngl i was kinda like "viktor baby what ru doing" somewhere in there but i knew they'd work it out

"i'll miss our talks" "no you won't" HAHAHAHHA SKY'S A REAL ONE

jinx boutta khs and then ekko stops her FOAMING AT THE MOUTHHHHH THEY DESERVED MORE SCREENTIME TOGETHER

i knew maddie was sus.

jayvik canon jayvik canon jayvik canon jayvik canon

honestly it would've been less gay if they kissed

everyone is DOOMED oh my god

jinx swooping in to save the day WHO ELSE CHEERED

lowkey i miss her twin tails but i get why she cut them

JINX AND VI FIGHTING TOGETHER AGAIN UGH SISTERHOOD

"i'm always with you sis" IT REALLY IS ABOUT THEM IT WAS ALWAYS ABOUT THEM

i actually don't think jinx is dead that scene w cait and the air vents isn't there for no reason

not mad about the open ending tho

SO impressed how they managed to tie so many loose ends together arcane creators you will always be famous

again love the fast pace it does it for me

also cait was looking SO FINE in that last scene i actually gasped when i saw her on screen i love women oh my god

shoutout to caitvi for being the ONLY couple that gets a happy ending in this fucking show

ekko MVP GIVE MY MAN HIS BREAD

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lee-laurent · 4 months ago

Text

Slim Pickins - Jack Hughes

Summary: Ana's got slim pickings

content: kissing, allusions to sex, fluff, minor angst, bittersweet ending

wc: 1.8k

inspired by sabrina carpenter's song slim pickins from her new album short n' sweet!

notes: i love sabrina carpenter!! and her new album EATS! i thought of writing a jack fic as soon as i heard the full song!! enjoy!!!

Guess I'll end this life alone I am not dramatic These are just the thoughts that pass right through me

Ana had given up on finding the "perfect guy." Every guy she dated just let her feelings unsatisfied and disappointed. Her friends were beyond excited to introduce her to Jack. They'd dragged her along to the bar, meeting their boyfriends there, and shoving her in the direction of Jack.

A smirk took up his face as soon as his eyes met hers. The blonde just narrowed her eyes, waiting for him to say something. Introduce himself and show her this "Hughes" charm she'd heard so much about from the girls.

"Hey, I'm Jack," he said, extending his hand with a confidence that bordered on arrogance.

Ana took it, her grip firm, but she didn't bother with a smile. "Ana," she replied coolly, already bored.

Jack's smirk deepened, and she could see he was expecting her to be more impressed, maybe even flustered. But Ana was neither.

"Nice to meet you, Ana," he continued, leaning in slightly. "Your friends have been telling me a lot about you."

"Oh, I'm sure they have," Ana said, her tone flat. She glanced around, noticing how her friends were watching eagerly, clearly hoping for sparks. The only sparks Ana felt were the ones of irritation.

Jack raised an eyebrow at her lackluster response, clearly not used to being met with such indifference. "So... what do you do for fun?"

"Read," she replied simply, taking a sip of her drink. "I'm into fiction, but I like a good biography every now and then. You?"

"Uh, I play hockey. For the Devils."

"I know," she said, not bothering to add that she couldn't care less about hockey.

The conversation dragged on, Jack trying to charm her with his stories from the rink. Ana just nodded along, letting her mind wander. She had already resigned herself to the idea that the "perfect" guy didn't exist--not for her, anyway. And Jack, with his cocky grin and predictable lines, wasn't about to change that.

But as the night wore on and she saw the hopeful glances from her friends, Ana sighed inwardly. Maybe it was time to stop holding out for someone who ticked all her boxes. Maybe, just maybe, it was time to settle for someone who could at least hold a conversation--even if it wasn't what she wanted.

With that thought, she decided to give Jack a little more attention to see where things would go.

A boy who's jacked and kind Can't find his ass to save my life

Ana watched as Jack laughed at something one of the other girls' boyfriends had said, the sound rich and easy. He looked the part--tall, athletic, with that effortless charm that had most girls falling head over heels. Her friends had raved about how he was the total package: a boy who was both jacked and kind.

But as Ana sipped on her drink and observed him more closely, she noticed the flaws in her friends' description. Like the way his eyes glazed over whenever the conversation veered away from him and/or hockey, or how he seemed more interested in impressing his friends than actually getting to know her.

Sure, Jack was kind in a superficial way--polite enough, quick with a smile, and generous with compliments (when it benefitted him). It wasn't that she needed him to be perfect-- God knows she'd given up on that fantasy long ago--but she couldn't help the pang of disappointment that she felt. Jack was exactly what everyone had said: good-looking, successful, and charming. But beneath that, he didn't really have much that Ana looked for.

"So, do you follow much hockey?" Jack asked, walking back over from where he had been with his friends.

"Not really," she admitted, her tone more honest than before. "It's never really been my thing."

Jack nodded, looking a little thrown. "Oh. Well, what are you into then?"

Ana considered lying, giving him an answer she knew he'd like, but decided against it. "Honestly? I'm more into arts and stuff like that--books, museums, writing."

Jack's smile wavered, and Ana could tell he was struggling to find a way to connect with her. It wasn't really his fault, she knew she wasn't making it easy. But as she looked at him, trying so hard to find common ground, she couldn't help but feel the weight of her earlier thoughts.

It was time to lower her expectations.

As everyone was saying their goodbyes, Jack gave her a lingering look, clearly hoping for a sign that she was interested. Ana smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Thanks for tonight, Jack. It was... nice."

"Yeah, maybe we could do this again sometime?"

"Maybe."

Oh, it's slim pickings If I can't have the one I love I guess it's you that I'll be kissin' Just to get my fixings Since the good ones are deceased or taken I'll just keep on moanin' and bitchin'

As the weeks went by, Ana found herself spending more time with Jack. Not because she was falling for him, but because it was easier than being alone. The more they hung out, the more she realized that Jack was exactly who she thought he was--nice, handsome, but not who she'd been hoping for her whole life.

One night, after a dinner with their mutual friends, they found themselves alone, walking through the streets of Newark. Jack reached for her hand, and Ana let him take it, though the warmth she'd hoped to feel never came. Instead, she felt a dull ache of acceptance. This wasn't what she wanted, but it was better than nothing, right?

Jack stopped walking, turning to face her. There was something in his eyes. "Ana," he began, his voice softer than usual, "I really like you. I want this to work."

He was trying--really trying--and it wasn't fair to him that she couldn't muster the same enthusiasm. But life had a way of wearing down those high hopes she once held onto.

She forced a smile, leaning to press a quick kiss to his lips. "I like you too, Jack," she said, though the words felt hollow.

The continued walking, hand in hand, and Ana thought about what her perfect guy looked like. Maybe George Harrison or a young Bob Dylan. A guy with soul, who wrote her songs and poems. Wasn't afraid to talk about feelings, but was still just as attractive as Jack. But Jack was here, and he was nice, but he wasn't a young Jimmy Page.

That night, as she lay in bed next to Jack, who had fallen asleep almost immediately, Ana stared at the ceiling, her thoughts swirling. She knew she should be grateful--Jack was sweet, he cared about her--but the spark wasn't as strong as she dreamed.

Jesus, what's a girl to do? This boy doesn't even know The difference between "there," "their" and "they are"

Ana tried to focus on whatever her friends were yapping about, but Jack's text messages kept lighting up her phone. The boy didn't even know the difference between "there," "their," and "they are."

She reread his text over and over again. "I'll meet you over at they're place. Their should be plenty of parking outside if you don't wanna walk." Ana had almost chucked her phone across the room at the sight of it.

"You okay, Ana Banana?" one of the girls asked.

"Yeah, sorry, just thinking about shit."

"Wanna talk about it?"

Ana hesitated. What was she supposed to say? That she was annoyed because her boyfriend couldn't differentiate between basic homophones? That she was frustrated because she wanted more than he could offer? It wasn't fair--he wasn't really doing anything wrong.

"Nah, it's stupid. Just work stuff," she shrugged. "Continue your story."

Yet he's naked in my room Missin' all the things he's missin'

Jack sighed, pulling her body into his. She cringed at the feeling of his sweaty chest against her back. The room was quiet, just the sound of their breathing returning to normal. She turned to look at him, brushing some of the hair stuck to his forehead back. He looked at her with so much care in his eyes, massaging the skin of her thigh.

He was completely unaware of everything she thought was missing in him. So oblivious to the things that mattered to her. He didn't understand her passion for literature, her love for art, or the way she craved deep, meaningful conversations with her boyfriend.

But none of that mattered to Jack, he was just happy to have Ana by his side. And it made her feel so guilty. But if she didn't have Jack... what would she have? She'd be back to being lonely and bored with her life. At least Jack brought some excitement with him.

Since the good ones call their exes wasted And since the Lord forgot my gay awakenin' Then I'll just be here in the kitchen Servin' up some moanin' and bitchin'

The kitchen was dimly lit, the soft glow of the overhead lights casting shadows on the walls. Ana was putting away the last of the dishes from dinner, her mind preoccupied with everything she'd been thinking about over the entirety of their relationship. The rhythmic clicking of plates was a soothing backdrop to her contemplation.

Jack had been quieter than usual, his nerves evident as he fidgeted with his phone as she dried their wine glasses. Ana glanced over, noticing his unease but attributing it to work stress or something else she didn't understand.

After she finished cleaning, Jack took a deep breath and approached her, his face the most serious she'd ever seen. Ana's heart skipped a beat as she saw him pull out a small velvet box from his pocket.

"Ana," he began, "I know things haven't always been perfect, but I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

Ana's breath caught in her throat as she looked at the ring. She had been contemplating the idea of settling for the last year, and now, faced with Jack's heartfelt proposal, she couldn't ignore it any longer.

"Since the good ones all call their exes wasted," she thought, reflecting on all her past disappointments and the unattainable ideal she once chased.

Then I'll be here in the kitchen, servin' up some moanin' and bitchin'. The idea echoed in her mind as she stood there, knowing that despite her doubts, Jack was offering her a commitment that she might not find elsewhere.

"Yes, Jack," Ana smiled. "I will marry you."

Jack's face lit up with joy as he slipped the ring onto her finger. Ana had come to terms with the idea that while Jack might not be the "perfect" partner she once dreamed of, he was a solid choice in a world of slim pickings. She had chosen to move forward with him, not because he was perfect, but because he was the best she could find.

Jack just might have to put up with some moanin' and bitchin'.

#nhl imagine #nhl fic #hockey imagine #hockey fic #jack hughes

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