#and she tells me that he had actually gone to military school without telling me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

perspectiveinabstract · 13 days ago

Text

Alas, it’s my side of the story.

I don’t think there’s any way to tell this story without REALLY saying all of it. As much as I can remember, anyway. So I guess I’ll take it from the top. I’ll use titles instead of names. This will be the most raw, and uncut version of myself that I can show. The truth. My truth. My version of it, at least. For the sake of authenticity, and holding myself and others accountable… I am going to just write. I will not edit, proofread, or correct this text. I will compile everything that I can remember without filtering what happened, or changing words to mask expletives. This text will be greatly flawed, as I rest my head, and just write. Walk with me…

I was born in August of ‘89 in a town right outside of Seattle, Washington. I was raised primarily in Washington. My father was in the military, so we never really set roots anywhere, until he retired in Florida when I was around 16-17. My youth was rougher than most. I was an extremely defiant child, and teenager, and I was in several different schools before I actually graduated (by some miracle)… I typically ran with rougher crowd. Tough kids. Tough upbringings. I seemed to get a long with them better, for some reason. As for me, I’ve never been in any real trouble. A lot of my friends from my childhood are either dead, or in prison. As of today, I am a 35 year-old father of 3. I have one daughter, and twin sons. I like cultivating cannabis, playing drums, and music in general. I just recently discovered that I love traveling as well.

Throughout my life I was pretty average at everything. I was an incredibly difficult child, and an anxiety-ridden teenager/young adult. I grew up with a half-sister from my mother’s first marriage. I’ve never met her father but he beat up my mom. So my sister invited me once to meet him, later in life. And I couldn’t meet him because I was already predisposed to kicking the shit out of him for hurting my mom. There’s no time limit on stuff like that for me. It’s just how I’m built. My sister is probably my best friend. She is four years my senior. For all intents and purposes, we have never been separated, and grew up as if we came from the same parents, as my father adopted her when she was four, and has raised her since.

My parents are good people. I grew up pretty poor, but I never really noticed. My folks tried really hard, my father provided really well, and holidays were always special. We never really went without. I can’t remember a time that I went hungry. Even if the meals were thrown together or a little strange. It’s what we had, and my mom tried really hard. It wasn’t until I had kids of my own that I realized what she was doing. They were in survival mode too.

My father, at least growing up… was a little more stern, and reserved. It was much easier to get away with shit when my mom was the only one parenting. What’s he really gonna do from a ship? It’s too easy to call him “conservative” because he really wasn’t he was just… my dad. He was a loving father, that never really raised a hand at his children. But he always seemed to be carrying a lot of weight. Not weight, in the sense of extra pounds… but weight as in… stress. He was that way for a long time. I didn’t see him a lot in my mid-teens. He was gone for months at a time. So I didn’t know a lot about him. Growing up, I learned that he was dealt a similar hand to me in life, as far as mental health goes. He is an honest and God-Fearing man. Something that definitely separates us as individuals now. I consider myself a direct opposite. As he’s aged, he’s gotten a little bit more direct in his approach toward everything. I’d almost call it more of a pessimistic attitude. He’s a lot more loving, but he’s also quite a bit more literal on problem-solving. Sometimes I feel like he brings up the worst case scenario in every possible event. Whether it be with ideas that I have, which aren’t always brilliant, or for situations in his own life. I always hoped he’d find peace in himself that granted him the same calm that I’m always chasing. He’s not quite a misanthrope. But over the years, with his health he has began to establish new phobias that kept him from living his best years adequately. The last time I prayed it was for that he’d find peace. And share every memorable experience that he could afford, with my mother. They deserve that.

My mother is a good woman. A good wife, and a good mother. There has always been a camaraderie and team-player attitude about her that I have admired. She’s always been very… outwardly caring about others. This is a wonderful personality trait on the surface, but in retrospect… it’s definitely been taken advantage of by others in the past. I can remember several examples of this growing up. She’s also always been a very deep empath. Very loving. Very hospitable. On the surface, I don’t think I could say a bad thing about her. I’ve always worried deeply (especially in adulthood when I understood human habits more and more) how she feels about herself. Like, trimming out the fat, and getting to the core. It’s a very odd question to know someone for 35 years, and still be afraid to ask: “How do you feel about yourself? What do you see in the mirror?”… would she level the answer with an outpouring of positivity? Or is there something deep beneath the surface? She takes care of everyone. My grandfather, I’ve been around my entire life. He’s into his 80s and the prime example of why I don’t drink. I’ve always wondered what happened to him to make him so somber, and afraid to voice his feelings. I just always wished he’d picked a different vice than what smells of rubbing alcohol. Our relationship is great. He’s my oldest friend. He’d probably give me anything that I asked for. That’s my mom’s father. My dad’s father, I haven’t seen for a long time. He has severe OCD, and mixing that with my presence as a child was a “spark, meet powder keg” type of situation. My grandmother on my mom’s side has a better relationship with my sister, but it’s mainly because she’s been around her a lot longer. I love her, and she’s helped me out of a lot of shitty situations I’ve put myself in. My family, for all intents and purposes has been pretty stable. My upbringing was good, and kind. We learned to love and express feelings the best we could.

I’ve been on some form of psychiatric medication since I was roughly 6. This, and past trauma are what I consider reasons for why I don’t remember much of my youth. If you can name it, I was on it. They started treating me with Ritalin as a clearly autistic child, and that spawned a lot of inner-turmoil, anxiety, and acting out that I’ve carried with me for all of my life. I know my mother somehow feels some sort of fault in how rough it was for me throughout the years. But underneath it all… who could’ve known better? These types of disorders just weren’t well-studied or understood yet.

Growing up, I had my fair share of girlfriends. I experimented with one male, when I was around 5 years old when I was molested, and I decided that it wasn’t my cup of tea. Sorry - A slice of dark humor never hurt the truth very much.

I got my first apartment when I was around 19 with a female friend that went to the local university. My parents had been making me pay “rent” out of Disability payments I was receiving. My mother saved all of it to put toward an apartment for me. In retrospect, the end of this friendship was pretty brutal. And most of it was my fault. This girl was my age. I made the mistake of taking her virginity, and trying to maintain a friendship with her while a lot of her feelings for me absolutely lingered. She moved in with me and my parents about a year before we got the apartment together. We did everything together. We had the same interest in music, and pretty much everything else. The fact is: I was a dumb kid. I had almost zero social skills, and I didn’t really know how to treat people. In my head, I was in my prime. I didn’t want to be tied down. Looking back on it now, she was clearly in love with me. She wanted a relationship. I wanted to fuck as many people as I possibly could, and live it up. I wasn’t any more of an easy person to love, or live with then, than I am now. Ultimately, meeting multiple women, including my wife… ended our friendship for good. She had tried over the course of nearly two years to tell me how she felt. She resorted to bringing boys over, to either try and live her life, or make me jealous. I had girls over all the time. I was really a little dog, then. I’d have said or done anything to feel accompanied. I think it was out of desperation to be accepted.

Id like to start off the next portion of this blog by saying that my wife is a fantastic mother, a fantastic person, and a fantastic friend. She treats our children like royalty. She treats me like a king. She takes care of me. She fucks me good. I can’t complain. But I want to talk about how we got this far. I want to tell my side of it all, because that’s what’s really going to help me reflect. There are thousands of sides to every story. I’m not a picnic, and I know that. But this is my time. Time I’ve never taken. How did we get this far?

I met my wife on a dating site before dating APPS existed. This girl was a walking red flag. And I always chased those women. She was in college at the same university that my roommate was attending. The first time she came over, my sister cooked us dinner at my apartment. My sister lived about a block away in another duplex. The first time I met this girl, I remember thinking she was beautiful, but far from what I’d usually go after. She seemed very forward. Very… out there. I was a little more reserved in my approach to talking to people. She ended up staying the night. We spent the entire night hanging out in my room, and talking about everything and anything. She was very ill-timed, and seemed to try really hard to make an impression. She went home that morning back to campus to grab clothes from her dorm, to come back so we could continue hanging out. Within two days of knowing her, I got my first taste of distrust. We were laying down, and she was sleeping. Someone kept texting her old flip-phone. And the notification was set to continuously ring until it was answered. Looking back on it now, I never should’ve opened that phone. I should’ve just woken her up. I’d have been better off by being surprised. The message was in response to a message she had sent to a boy, while she was hanging out with me. The message read: “I can’t wait to suck your dick.”… this threw me for quite a loop because what was happening? Was she hanging out in my apartment, and kissing me on the lips, to go back to the dorm to suck dick and come back to me? Of course the confrontation was awkward… I’d known her for two days. This was the first time I can remember not trusting her. The first of many. Knowing how I used to be. I normally would’ve just told her to get out right then. Instead, I noted her tears as her being just like me… another broken person looking for attention the wrong way. But where does that end? I was never really sure. I’m sure the message was to a guy she introduced to me many times at the many college parties we threw at that apartment. But I never found out. Just a lot of uncomfortable situations. I remember one time we were driving away from a frat house that we couldn’t get into for a mixer. She couldn’t believe they wouldn’t let her in. In front of all of our friends in the car she made the comment that she had “pretty much sucked everyone’s dick there are one point or another”… everyone just went silent, while she laughed.

It’s December, and Christmas break. She tells me she’s going back to central Florida to be with her family for Christmas. It didn’t turn out to be so simple. She was gone for weeks. It turns out her parents were out of town (her dad and step-mom). She threw a massive rager. She and her friends had essentially destroyed the house to the point where her step-mother hasn’t welcomed her back to this day. This was around the time that rumors started circulating that she had hooked up with someone on Christmas break while she was dating me. I could read it on her face that she wasn’t being entirely honest. I still don’t actually know what happened to this day. I still haven’t gotten a straight answer that I could honestly believe. It being so long ago, this eventually was swept under the rug. The second of many times I didn’t trust her.

After Christmas break ended, it was back to college. Her father had stopped paying for it, her food card had run out, and she was being kicked out of her dorm. I don’t even think she was going to classes anymore. I remember she was going for Art History. Outside of that, she was definitely there for the college experience. She had a choice. Go home. Or stay with me. She obviously wasn’t welcome at her dad’s house, and she didn’t have anyone else here. I’m sure you can guess what ended up happening there.

For the next couple years we went to, and threw so many parties. I had the college experience without actually ever going to college. There were so many rumors and so many friends of hers that just weren’t good to her, or looking out for her best interest. She had an English friend that would come around a lot. I always had to hear about how good at giving head she was from him, and other people. Everyone knew such intimate details about her. I guess I was too reserved for that experience. It made me almost resentful of her. Because I was enthralled by her. I was so hurt, constantly. And I didn’t even realize it then. I thought I was just being a jealous boyfriend. But it was never jealousy. It was just me constantly wondering if there was anyone in a 10 mile radius or at any of the frat houses that she hadn’t fucked. I felt guilt for thinking of these things. But these are valid questions. They’re vile questions. But they are valid.

Around this time she started getting unhappy. I guess the mundane caught up, and this English friend came over to “take her home”… she was leaving me. Looking back, I had no idea why. But I know they went for a ride in his car, and again… rumors circulated as to what happened. There’s more shit that I just wasn’t told about.

I’m not saying all of this to paint her as a bad person. We developed and grew up together in several ways. That being said, this is all a catalyst for my still-present distrust in people. Because I’ve seen the worst parts of them. I’ve seen the ugly.

Things really took a nosedive when technology advanced. This was during the Tumblr era… my mom had gifted us IPads for some holiday. She was on that thing constantly. On the laptop constantly. In her own world. We were a little further apart than usual in that 2 bedroom apartment than we had ever been. I noticed that she was most active online while I was away fishing, or sleeping. This really rubbed me the wrong way. She was very secretive about her devices. Eventually, I figured out her iPads password. And started looking. What I found would change my life, and my perspective on relationships, and her entirely.

So many men. Videos. Pictures. Talk of love. Talk of hating me. Talk of hating her current situation. Explicit shit. The worst of the worst that you can imagine. The entire time we were together, this had been going on. Mind you, we are roughly three years in, right now. I had given her a house, my family considered her as their own family. We had built everything together. From the confrontation and on, everything changed. My perspective on life. My attitude. My role as a young man, and my stance on relationships and how much I was willing to put into them. I didn’t confront her right away. I let her think I didn’t know. One night, I invited one of my old flings over, and introduced them. This girl literally brought her kid over and a pop-up crib to sleep in our kitchen. My wife (girlfriend at the time) ended up going to bed. In the midst of all of my pent up hatred, and disdain. I got this old fling of mine to blow me on the couch, while my girlfriend was sleeping. I confronted her a couple days later when I finally got all of my rage built up.

I never found out why she did all of that, or why she felt it was necessary. She would watch me cry about it, or bring it up over the next several years until it reached a breaking point that I just didn’t trust her. She was having her fun. I knew she was. I knew it didn’t stop. I knew there was always something. So in my head, it only made sense that I start filling that void the same way. So I did. So many girls. Lying about anything I could to feel important in someone’s life. Eventually she confronted me about my infidelity, and mentioned that she had stopped. Apparently some girl I was fucking around with on the Internet had a boyfriend that messaged her while I was at work. I had just met her, sent a couple fake nudes, received some nudes and the fire was set.

In a very very sick and twisted way. Her actions changed me as a person. I was never like that. I’d never cheated on a girl. I was always ONLY about one person. That cruelty… started a fire inside of me. It suddenly made everything I did in the future ok. Looking back on it now. I hurt a lot of people that didn’t deserve it. Many, many girls. And I never considered their feelings or cared about them enough to give a shit. And I hate myself for that. I ruined a lot of people, by repeating this cycle. And I blamed my wife. When in reality… that was all me. But her actions were a direct catalyst for how I coped with my insecurity and distrust for her, from that point on. I haven’t been the same since. I deserved better. All these women deserved better. But I was never trying to hurt them. I was just trying to ten-fold HER. To make her feel just as terrible as I always have. It was never right, and I am deeply ashamed of my actions.

To this day, I don’t trust her on a phone or a computer. Just as I’m sure she doesn’t trust me. If I had my way, we’d have flip phones. But that doesn’t solve the problem. It hinders it from happening but it doesn’t hinder the desire to NOT fuck over someone you’re supposed to love. I FORGIVE her. However I am still working on forgiving myself. Because my actions have severely impacted my family, and my daughter. Now I know what it means to live for someone else.

I always wanted a traditional marriage too. I wanted a housewife, and children, and nothing weird in the mix. How quickly that changed, was startling.

Her actions took so many hobbies from me. She pulled the enjoyment out of a lot of things I loved. I couldn’t go fishing anymore without extreme worry. I couldn’t be away from her and with friends, I couldn’t visit my parents by myself because she encouraged that while she was taking her photos and videos in our bed and bathtub. All of these things would race through my head when I was actually trying to enjoy life. It made me extremely resentful. She would never consider therapy with me either, which is what made me know she didn’t want to change it. In my mind, she was never sorry. She was sorry she was caught. This was another catalyst for me. Don’t feel bad about what you do. Just be good at fabricating an apology. Check.

Anyways…We tried to patch things up after that. I set my foot forward to just be about her. I assumed she was trying to do the same thing.

A couple years later we are married. My parents threw together a wedding at a local Moose Lodge. As funny as it sounds… it was just nice that they did so much for us. Her father and mother came. They have hated each other for years… that entire side of the family is a little “off”… that’s putting it lightly.

When my wife was young she had a very strained relationship with her parents. It was filled with cruelty, infidelity, horrible situations, assaults, attempted murders, etc… basically the worst parts of the Bible.

Her mother has always been extremely unhinged. There isn’t a nice or delicate way to put it. In short… prior to meeting her, I’d never truly hated someone’s guts before. It was a foreign feeling to me. The most vain and judgmental woman I’d ever met. Hated me from the jump. I didn’t have a chance in hell. Her mother moved her and her little brother all over the country when they were children, to ride the coat-tails of wealthy men. Essentially she was dick-riding for a place to stay and money to spend. She is the most broken, and perpetually sad human being I’ve ever encountered. Fake and fabricated in every sense possible. Has to be better than everyone else. Outwardly cruel, internally cruel, and probably clinically insane.

Over several years, we really tried to mend things to have a family relationship. We’d have her over, we’d visit. And especially after the birth of our first child. We wanted our children to know their grandparents. That all changed one summer. We went to visit her mom at a rented villa for a mini-vacay. It was fucked from the start, as her mom was in a shit mood before she even arrived, due to her being late and us arriving early. I wish there was more to it than that, but that’s how she is. Mountains and Molehills. The tiniest thing will ruin a relationship with this family… it changed things. A couple days into the vacation our house had a major leak, and we had to pack up and go. This sent her mother into a frenzy. Our home was flooding. She wanted us to stay. She ended up saying vile and cruel things to us and our child, and threatened to call the police because she knew I was growing marijuana in an illegal state. I haven’t spoken to her since, she is no longer allowed to see my daughter, and she has never met my sons. It’s not even a ball in her court anymore. How horrible to have to explain to my kids why they don’t know that side of the family. I try to have the conversation with myself all the time, and it always breaks me.

My wife was doomed from start. Her mother was often on drug and alcohol binges, hopping from man to man, and leaving her brother and her in an apartment for days or weeks at a time, when they were too young to care for themselves. Not many people in her family felt obligated to help them, aside from her grandmother. Her mother ended up having a major psychotic episode, and chasing my wife and her little brother around the house with a kitchen knife. Obviously the police were called, and my wife and her brother left Colorado to move to Florida to be with their father. Where it wasn’t much more of a stable environment than the one she left. Her father had a new family. Far away from his ex-wife. He had other children, and my wife and her brother were always second best.

Things like the paragraph above make me wonder why my wife would even try, or want to be around them. She just always tells me that they’re “her people” and that she loves me. For the life of me, I can’t understand why. Being exposed to them has made me very hesitant about people, and ruined my outlook on trusting those closest to me. It’s almost as if that family takes pride or competition in being able to say the worst thing, or hold the longest grudge, or fuck over their own kin the most. Why would I ever continue exposing my own family to that? I have no respect and nothing but hatred for all of them. I couldn’t care less. If they lived or died would make no difference to me. I just could never understand why my wife would want to continue her own exposure to people like that. I’ll never understand.

It is common knowledge that her father is a closeted homosexual. He married a lawyer and settled with his new wife and daughter from a previous relationship, and had a new son. My wife and her brother were old news at this rate, and haven’t been accepted since. I admire him for teaching me how not to raise my kids. I have to basically leave it at that, because I’ve only met him twice.

Her side of the family baffles me. It’s no secret that I can’t tolerate any of them. They are the most spiteful, hateful, angry people I have ever encountered. There are so many stories of terrible get-togethers that truly broke my views on family. This goes for her extended family as well. Just a tribe of broken, and hurtful people. My family was never like this. I mean, we had our spats… we had our fights. But we never wanted to hurt each other. We never abandoned each other. Being used to having a tight-knit family, and constantly getting thrown into situations where you’re around her “family” that would probably slit your throat while you slept, for a piece of cheese… it was always so baffling to me. Her grandmother was kind of the glue that held them all together, or at the very least… accountable for their actions. She was by far the most stable. She probably didn’t like me much either, but she didn’t know me. She only knew what other members of the family told her about me. But this is how they’ve always operated. Everything is word-of-mouth. They never really took the time to sit down and ask me anything. They hated me going into it. I’ve never known why. And the worst of all of this, is that these people have the gall, and the audacity to talk shit about MY family. They say things about my family being too religious, my father and mother being too conservative, being too poor, etc… especially her brother. Like, it’s rich coming from him. Like, yeah… my parents are religious and conservatives. But they’d love me in a box, or in a mansion. Your mother is an insane narcissist that tried to kill you. And your father abandoned you before you could really even walk. Only to do it several more times in your adult life. How the fuck do you have the right to speak poorly about my family? Look at what you grew up in. Same for the rest of them. How can you be so hateful toward my family? Her grandmother married a man, and ADOPTED my mother in law, but had her own kids too. And my wife’s grandpa definitely molested the shit out of her mom. Yeah. It sounds horrible, because it is. It’s fucked up to type. You know what’s even more fucked up? Being exposed to it all afterwards, and having to live on the inside of it for the last 20 years… and trying to explain to my wife, who is so trauma bonded to all of these people, that it would he fine if we never saw or heard from them again. But no… I pay for her to go to their weddings, where more people like me can be exposed to intense levels of emotional manipulation, cruelty and turmoil. Fun!

Let me tell you something else about my side of the family. My family has hosted them in their home. Given us thousands upon thousands of dollars, diapers, clothes, paid our rent, fed and clothed us and our kids, taken care of us. They raised us when we were young and broke kids! So when her brother or her side of the family always asked why I took so much of what my parents said into consideration, it’s because even when I was hard to manage, or hard to love, they showed up… they fucking took care of me. Even if I was wrong. They’d help me cover it up. They’d help me hide it. They’d help me get out of an awful situation, and they have… time and time again. Do you want to guess what her side of the family has given us? I’ll bet you can. Aside from her grandmother. Jack. Fucking. Shit. How do my views on supreme loyalty not resonate with these people? There is a reason why I demand that undying loyalty from people I keep close. Look how I was raised. To go to any lengths to take care of my people.

Her brother is a homosexual. He’s a little younger than she is, and has been slowly becoming a carbon copy of his mother. A male version, if you prefer. Very vain, self-obsessed with a very watered-down sense of reality, and a very fake exterior, and a constant need to seem important to everyone that he thinks is watching him. He’s always been an extremely readable person. He was always very “fair-weather”… around when things provided him with a sense of being needed, or when things were good, but when things got a little rough, or outside of his comfort zone. He’d go right to personal stabs, saying horrible things, or just being outright ludicrous like his mother. He used to spend holidays at our apartment, before he was completely broken, and used up by his experiences with his family and his mother. Over the years he got more and more self-absorbed. It used to be something I laughed at. Now, I feel guilty because I feel as if I had some responsibility in doing more to get him out of the situation he was in.

Two years into our marriage my wife was working at a cigarette store, and I got a message on Facebook from an unknown woman. She broke down to tell me that her husband was having an internet affair with my wife. This was the last time I was ever truly my wife’s husband until recently. It happened again. Right under my nose. I wanted a divorce so badly, that I couldn’t breathe with her in the same room. I just didn’t have anywhere to go. She was all I knew. When I confronted her, it was the same thing. Either not knowing why, or blaming me for why she did things like that. Even now, there is a reason for all of this. She’s never truly opened up about why she did those things. But like I said, knowing about them started a whirlwind of infidelity on my side. I loved her, don’t get me wrong. I loved her and fucking hated her existence at the same time. I hated her so much when I found out that I considered killing her. After all the shit I put up with. After dealing with how her family treated me for so many years. After taking her side against my own family. This is how I am honored? I needed to fucking kill this woman. Never again. I knew right then that I’d never stop now. I’d do what I wanted, when I wanted, with who I wanted. I was never fully honest with another human being, for many years after that. It continued until recently. Thats how much it buried me. It threw a wrench in every cog in my soul. It closed my coffin. I had a woman messaging me telling me that she just had a baby with this guy, and that she was leaving him. In essence… my wife helped destroy a marriage, and played a part in creating a broken home for a little boy. I still check her page now and again. She’s remarried now. The man is still single, go figure.

Over the next several years, it is a clusterfuck of ups and downs. Money wasted. Inheritance spent. Infidelity majorly on my side, and I’m assuming hers too, but I’d never actually know. Nor would I want to at this rate. So many people have asked why we just didn’t divorce. Clearly it wasn’t working. Neither of us trusted each other. We didn’t even like each other for the most part, most days. I don’t know, honestly. I don’t know where the glue that holds us so close together begins. All I know is that somewhere deeply rooted in our chests, we love each other very much. I love her more than any woman I’ve ever thought about. It’s almost sick in a way, as we’ve exposed each other to more trauma than any normal people I know.

Looking back on it all. It took a lot of life from me, letting go of hatred and distrust. That’s what really stopped all of the infidelity. That’s what changed me. Having a child, and realizing after I made mistakes that I didn’t want her in a broken home, or worse… married to a man like me. This continued until shortly before we moved out of state. I had texted an old fling, and things got heavy really fast. Naturally, this girl… that never mattered to me at all… messaged my wife to tell on me. That was the first time we ever really spoke about divorce papers. It was also the last time I’ll ever make that mistake again.

Moving out of state was a rough one. It was a hard decision for me. The activities I was engaging in, were going to land me into trouble, so moving to a state with laws that let me do what I do for passion and work became a necessity for the betterment of my family. At this point, my wife and I had one daughter together.

The decision to move started off with a visit to the East coast. My brother in law was working at a hotel in DC, and the move would be much easier on my wife, knowing she had family within driving distance. We decided on the Virginia Peninsula. Before the move. I was hoarding money like crazy. Selling everything I had, checking out virtual tours of rentals. Trying to make an informed decision. We were going to gamble it and move into a house we’d never been to, in a city we’ve never visited. My wife decided to ask her brother if he wanted to get on a lease with us. She said this would make our living situation much easier, as he could pay rent, and help with bills. She became excited to move, when any other time that I had brought it up… it was met with great hesitancy.

When she presented the idea of her brother moving in with us… every warning, and every alarm inside of me went off. I knew this was a bad idea. I could feel it in my bones. Her brother and I have a similar relationship to the relationship I have with the rest of her family. It is often strained and tangled in the fact that him and I are very different people. He views me as ignorant towards social issues. I find him incredibly annoying, high maintenance, and having the constant need to feel important to everyone around him. He always needed to be the most dramatic, and in the spotlight. He was outwardly attention-seeking. It’s just a long list of stuff that I didn’t mesh with. His openness about being proud to be cruel, and happy to hold grudges has always given me the creeps. That all being said… I was very hesitant, but mistakingly… I agreed.

Her brother couldn’t afford his end of this house from the beginning, that piled with new information about some of his odd sexual and social habits, made me extremely weary of having him around. I became more distant, after we all moved into the same house. He was very difficult to get along with. He interjected into how we raised our daughter several times. He constantly belittled me about money (even though I was footing the largest majority of all of our bills) and his demeanor and was generally demanding of an extremely clean and quiet house, with a 3 year-old running around. Obviously not happening.

It got progressively worse when my wife lost her job. I was the only one with a full time career. So I spent most of my time in a damp garage working a job that was very demanding, all day, and into the late night hours. I had a repetitive cycle of waking up, taking care of the side hustle that makes me a lot of money, going to work, and then going to sleep, repeat! The time in between work, I spent with my daughter.

The shit hit the fan when I started doing household chores less and less. I was the only one making drastic income, and paying for 90% of the bills. Her brother moved into a home, only playing $500 a month for an upstairs room and bathroom, in a home that costs us roughly $4500 a month to maintain. My wife pitched it as him paying $500 for the room, and then a third of all household bills. That happened one time when I couldn’t swing a water bill. And believe me, he never let me forget that he had to give me $200. So my contribution, was roughly $4000 a month. He made a point to make comments about how I didn’t help around the house often enough. Which to me was baffling given the fact that two other adults were there full-time, and I was just trying to keep the roof on. This often spawned arguments that left us all divided. Should I have had to pick up a bunch of extra work, as the only person making enough to sustain the house? You be the judge of that. It was such a simple concept to me, but I guess I am biased. I come from a home where the breadwinner doesn’t do as many household chores because they’re busy making money, or sleeping. But I could be wrong.

The difference has always been family. This is how my family operated my entire life. We’ve remained stable in our roles, and have never drifted apart. My dad went to work, and my mom stayed home. She had side hustles here and there. She didn’t start working again until I was well into my mid teens. But if my mom had to stay home. My dad wasn’t coming home from a ten hour day to pay all of the bills and do chores on top of that.

There’s a reason my family stayed so stable. Maybe it’s the “family unit” and camaraderie that held us all together. Maybe it was the strength and determination of good parents.

Her brothers payments became less and less frequent as he stopped coming around the house, favoring his moms house in Florida, or the hotel he worked at. He signed a lease to pay, but was more often than not VERY short on rent, or late on paying. His sister told him several times that if he wanted out he could go. He just kept assuring her that it was fine and he still wanted to pay his end. This never came to fruition. I intended on using his room to further the money made for my side hustle. I started packing up the stuff in his closet. That’s where a side of him I never knew came out.

Our twins were born in June of 24, and June was the last time I saw him. Just days after the twins were born. He stopped paying rent shortly after. He ruined a lot of that experience for me as well. I should’ve been in the hospital with my wife, but instead… I’m driving him to and from the airport, or catering to his needs so he doesn’t lose his shit.

After everything there was a huge blowout between him and my wife. My brother in law cannot apologize or admit to being wrong. The way that he treated her and me, and the absurd things that he said, can never be forgotten. He skipped out on rent the day it was due. That’s the kind of person he always was. So dramatic and ludicrous, a true carbon copy of his mother. After a lot of fighting and bitching, I just stopped caring, and carried the house by myself. I went into his room to stuff all of his shit into a closet and expand my side hustle by utilizing his room. In his closet, and after a conversation with my wife, I’ll never be able to trust him around my children again…

What I found was odd. Things for babies. Pacifiers, baby gear for a grown man. Weird things. My wife explained to me that her brother has a sexual fetish where he likes to dress up like an infant. To be cared for. To wear diapers, things like that. I am not a person that kink shames. I like some weird shit too. However, knowing how he is, and how loose of a cannon he is emotionally… it made me question whether or not he’d touch or hurt my kids. It doesn’t seem like a far stretch to me, or an unfair question. I’ve shown him a lot more respect than he’s due by never mentioning all of the things that I do know about him. I’ve bitten my tongue for so long that it’s calloused. He has always had a habit of injecting himself into every argument and discussion, yet hasn’t been around long enough to have that right. His last roommate… beat his ass at wedding. He somehow made his best female friend so angry, that she beat him up in public. If you knew him, you’d probably agree that he might have done something, or said something to have that one coming.

And that’s the thing. He really likes to talk poorly about people. He enjoys it. He never does it in their presence though. Especially in mine. He will definitely bad mouth me and everyone else when he’s states away. I think he’s afraid id hurt him. He’s probably right… if he said what he typed out loud, I probably would hurt him. He is one of those people that likes to throw insults and words. I’m one of those people that likes to throw punches. That’s how different we are. And I know violence isn’t the answer. But my trauma response to his exposure of hateful shit, is to just start fighting. And I never wanted it to come to that. So I always stayed away.

I think he genuinely feels as if we need his money. His money was never enough to live here as it is. I knew how much I’d be making before I even moved. I knew, that even if he bailed… I could afford to carry my family. My wife and I were more than capable. But again. He has the deepest desire to be needed. To be a savior of some sort. He needs to be so important. He hosts a podcast. Listening to it, you wouldn’t even know the person that is speaking is him. Everything about it is just completely fake. In a way, I pity him for having the emotional control and density of a stuffed animal. I feel incredibly sorry for what he’s been through. But he’s also a grown man, with access to help. And because he hasn’t gotten it, and outright refuses to address his deeply rooted issues… I won’t allow him around my children, or me ever again.

My wife and I are stable. We have started a very prolonged healing process. I don’t believe we will ever be a fully stable couple. As we tend to thrive in chaos together. All I know is, infidelity is no longer on either side. I promised myself that if it happened again on either side, our separation would be swift, and lifelong. Even with the children, and everything we’ve built together. I owe her the respect. She owes me the respect.

I am not a perfect person. My response to my own trauma and trauma I’ve been exposed to has changed the way I deal with people, and stressful situations. It made me spiteful, and worst of all… vengeful. With no time limit on satisfying it. Whether it takes me days or decades to get someone back… my biggest fault is that I will always get someone back. Ten fold. Two eyes for one. And I hate myself for that. I am working on breaking from those chains. But this has been years of constant turmoil. And honestly, I’m surprised I’m even alive sometimes. I don’t know how I’ve gone on with this much hatred in my heart. I hold it in the center of my chest, and it makes me very bitter. The stories just scratch the surface. There are countless examples as to why (especially on her end of the family) we should change our names, and move abroad. She has more scary, and abusive stories than she has happy ones from her childhood. This breaks my heart, because I’ve never been able to say no, or protect her from these people.

I am again, not perfect. I am at fault in so many more ways than she is, for many, many, many situations, and happenings that we’ve been placed in because of bad judgment, hatred, and anger. I have done the worst of the worst to the best people in my life, I guess the difference is, is that I am incredibly sorry for it. I am not a victim in all of this

I love my family, and my relationship with my wife is better than it has ever been. I think opening a line of communication and listening is something that we are still continually and forever working on together. Our children are happy. We are all healthy for the most part. I am truly blessed, even when I’m wading through a swamp, or fire. I am truly blessed.

But do I actually trust anyone?

Am I just a spark?

Why do I always feel so cancerous in the lives of others?

Why did all of this have to happen?

Is there never really inner peace?

My War.

1 note · View note

tricksters-captain · 4 years ago

Text

Bucky Barnes Imagines - Some Sunny Day Part 1

AN: My Marvel obsession has been lying dormant since Endgame finished but Wandavision and Falcon and Winter Soldier have brought it back to life.... This is going to be a series based off the show. Kind of like my ‘Oh Dear’ fic, it’s the series with an added characters and story lines.

Summary: Before the Blip, you and Bucky were close. After you both returning and Tony’s funeral, you decided to go back to your home town to spend time with your family. When duty calls, you return.

In this chapter: You reunite with Sam and Bucky (Based on S1 EP2)

Pairing(s): Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader, Sam Wilson x Platonic!Reader

Word Count: 6,883

Warnings: Spoilers for episode 2, strong language, violence.

You and Bucky had always been close.

You were close with Steve before Bucky joined the avengers and you fought on Steve’s side during the small civil war between the avengers.

Steve was your best friend and Sam always knew how to make you smile but there was something about Bucky that was different to the rest of the avengers.

You had spent some time in Wakanda with Bucky at Steve’s request and you two had always fought side by side and it crushed Steve when you both taken during the blip and he wasn't.

When you returned, you were thrust back into battle almost immediately. The final fight against Thanos which resulted in you losing Tony and then Steve.

Nothing seemed to matter except the fact you had been gone for 5 whole years. You had missed 5 whole years with your friends and family. They had changed whilst you were gone and you came back the same as you left.

When Steve returned the infinity stones, he hadn’t given you warning that he wasn’t coming back the same age he was going in but he had warned Bucky. They had spoken about it before apparently and after everything, you felt kind of betrayed.

You knew you’d never understand Steve’s choice but it was his choice. You were just upset Bucky didn’t warn you.

You returned to your home town after that day.

You returned to find some people had changed and some hadn’t but you knew you wanted to be around and spend time with them.

After all the years fighting for the avengers and only calling every once in a blue moon. It seemed to finally dawn on you that you should spend time with them whilst you still could.

However, that only lasted around 6 months before you found yourself answering a phone call from Sam.

You were at a birthday party for one of your old school friend’s daughters when you felt your phone go off.

You put down one of the little girls who had be asking you a hundred questions about being apart of the avengers and excused yourself from the party.

“Tell me why I got an awful feeling when I saw your caller ID come up on my phone.” You answered, folding your free hand under your arm as you leant against the wall.

“It’s cause your subconscious is reminding you about that one time you said no when I asked you out on a date and you regret that now.” Sam’s voice instantly made you crack a smile.

“Or maybe it’s because every time I get a call from you it’s to do with the world ending or something worse.” You shot back.

“It’s good to hear your voice too.” Sam chuckled at your comment before he had responded.

“So what’s going on? I haven’t heard much from you in months.” You asked.

“That’s around the time you up and left us for the old way of living.” Sam reminded you that you were the one that decided to go cold agent and return home.

“There isn’t anything wrong with a little quiet.” You told him as you looked back through the window to the children that were the opposite of quiet.

“No there isn't.” Sam agreed, “However, I got a situation here at the moment that I could really use your help with.”

“I guess it’s a bit bigger than the usual military op or you wouldn’t be calling?” You frowned. You were in the loop enough to know Sam had been apart of the airforce these past 6 months and had been taking part in frequent missions but nothing that concerned you.

“I’m sending you over the details now. I’d appreciate it if you could come.” Sam sent you through a file and you pulled your phone away from your ear to open it.

“You don’t need to convince me, Sam. I’ll be there since I know you wouldn’t ask unless it was serious.” You answered honestly.

“Guess I’ll be seeing you soon then.” You could practically hear Sam’s smirk through the phone.

“Depends how quick I can get a bag together and your jet can get me to you.” You told him as you picked up your jacket from the coat rack.

“Well it’s no Red Wing but it’s pretty fast.” Sam stated. “Oh and (Y/n)... You haven’t seen the news in the past hour or so, have you?”

“No? Why?” You frowned at the hesitation in Sam’s voice.

“Just... take a look.” Sam told you before you ended the call.

You opened up the news on your phone and what you saw made your mouth go dry and your stomach drop.

‘JOHN WALKER; NEW CAPTAIN AMERICA’

You felt an anger rise up in you as you watched the wannabe waltz onto screen with Steve’s shield in his paws.

When Sam gave up the shield, you didn’t know how to feel at first but now... now you weren’t surprised Sam didn’t elaborate on what he wanted you to see.

You said your apologies and your goodbyes pretty swiftly and you had already stashed an emergency bag ready to go under your bed so you were soon on your way.

It didn’t take terribly long to get to the air base where Sam was waiting for you.

“Who the hell is this guy and why is he calling himself the new Captain America?”

“Nice to see you too.” Sam wasn’t surprised at the attitude once you stepped off the plane.

“Sam, first you call me up to help deal with this wannabe terrorist group and now I just find out that Steve’s shield, which you gave up, is being held by some wannabe superhero.” You dumped your bag on the floor as you closed the gap between you and Sam.

“Trust me, I’m not happy about it either and I knew nothin about it but we have bigger fish to fry right now so can we cut the dramatic and get to actually saying hello?” Sam stared down at you with his hands on his hips.

You sighed and gave in.

You wrapped your arms around the man and hugged him warmly.

“I’m sorry. I just–��”

“–I know.” Sam didn’t need your apology. He understood how you were feeling. You both loved Steve so much.

“Miss (Y/N)(Y/L/N), it’s a pleasure to meet you.” A voice brought your attention away from Sam to a man approaching you both.

“(Y/n), Torres. Torres, (Y/n).” Sam introduced you to the uniformed man and you shook his hand politely.

“Nice to meet you.” You weren’t sure if you had gotten used to the way most civilians looked at you after you became apart of the avengers. When you joined you didn’t realise becoming famous would be apart of the gig.

“I’m sorry to interrupt but Miss (Y/L/N) has to come with me to get logged into the clearance system and sort out a couple things.” Torres pointed over his shoulder as he explained.

“And by that he means sign an autograph for his kid sister.” Sam teased the man.

“What?” Torres’ cheeks tinged pink. “No!”

“It’s alright. Lead the way.” You picked up your bag and sent a quick smile to Sam before turning back to Torres. “Oh and you can call me (Y/n) by the way.”

It didn’t take too long for Torres to fill you in on Sam’s plan for the mission as he logged in a few details so you could have clearance around the airbase.

You did end up signing an autograph after a little tiptoeing around the question and then by the time you walked back out into the open you spotted someone you hadn’t expected to see.

It was Bucky.

“Looking good for a senior citizen.” You spoke up as you approached Sam and Bucky.

Bucky had his back to you but the sound of your voice soon paused his conversation with Sam and he spun around.

“Hey Buck.” You smiled but you couldn’t help but feel slightly nervous. “Long time no see.”

“(Y/n).” Bucky stepped forward and wrapped his arms around you.

You chuckled at his tight embrace but hugged him back just as tight all the same.

“You, uh, you look good.” Bucky cleared his throat as he pulled away from you.

“If you’ll excuse us, Casanova, we got places to be.” Sam tried to pull you away from Bucky but Bucky only followed.

“I’m coming with you.” Bucky announced.

“No, you’re not!” Sam argued.

You hadn’t missed the men’s bickering...

In spite of Sam’s protest, Bucky ended up on the flight anyway.

“So how’s it been away from the Avengers?” Bucky asked you as you both prepared for the mission.

Sam was up with Torres in the cockpit so you and Bucky were alone for the first time since you saw each other.

“It’s been okay. Spending time at home. Doing non-hero regular folk stuff.” You chuckled weakly as you pulled off your sweater. Bucky’s eyes fell to your chest as you had only wore a vest underneath. You felt your cheeks burn as you pretended not to notice.

“Uh, same.” Bucky cleared his throat before he spoke.. “Been strange without you around.”

“Buck, you know I needed time away from everything. From Sam, from you... After Steve, I...” You let your words drop away.

There was a short silence before Bucky decided to change the subject.

“I’ve been seeing a therapist. Court mandated. She’s got me doing this whole redemption thing. Contacting people in my past. Making things right.”

“And how’s that going for you?” You couldn’t help but smirk slightly at the idea of Bucky forcing himself to face his past at the request of a therapist.

“Well I have three rules I’m meant to stick to and let’s say I’m not exactly following them closely.” Bucky admitted as he folded his hoodie.

“Does your therapist know that?” You cocked an eyebrow at the man with a light amused expression.

“What do you think.” Bucky smirked back at you.

“Be careful. I might tell on you.” You sighed playfully.

“You’re actually on the list.” Bucky suddenly confessed. “I wanted to make things right after...” Bucky paused for a moment. “...After Steve. I should have warned you. Should have told you the truth.”

“Bucky.” You stopped him. “It’s okay. Steve made a choice and he chose to talk to you about it. You’re his best friend and the only other person on the team who could’ve really understood why he did what he did. I’m not holding it against you.”

“I’m still sorry.” Bucky looked you in the eyes as he spoke, “You were with him for so long when I wasn’t around. You should’ve got a real warning.”

“Thanks Buck.” You pressed your lips into a brief sad smile before looking down at your boots.

“I’ve really missed you, (Y/n).” Bucky uttered.

“I really missed you too.” You stopped tying your lace to look up at the man.

His short hair had really revealed his face and you couldn’t help but notice every part of it. The lines by his eyes when he smiled, the curve of his lips, the shadow that was just coming on.

You straightened up and stepped towards the man.

“I like the new haircut by the way.” You reached up and let your fingers brush the top of his forehead. “Makes you look almost like a civilian.”

Bucky couldn’t help but feel his body tense under your touch.

“You look tired though.” You let your hand drop down to his cheek. “Not been sleeping well?”

Bucky forced himself to move away from your touch.

“Bad dreams.” Bucky murmured.

“I figured therapy might have been helping you with those.” You frowned, “I remember sharing wake up duty with Steve like it was yesterday.”

“Every time it was your turn you’d make hot coco.” Bucky reminded you. It brought back images of you and Bucky sat in a small kitchen drinking hot chocolate that you had made despite Bucky’s insisting that he didn’t want any.

“Seems like a lifetime ago.” You smiled but the memories only made you feel dismal. It seemed those were simpler times. Steve was still around, at least.

Bucky handed you your jacket in the silence and you took it gratefully.

“I’m not interrupting something, am I?” Sam said rather loudly as he climbed down the ladder.

“No, we were just getting ready which is what you should be doing.” You picked up Sam’s bag and tossed it to him which he caught effortlessly. “I’m going to check a few things with Torres. Try not to kill each other whilst I’m gone.”

Bucky watched you climb the ladder up to the cockpit and Sam watched Bucky.

“I’ll never understand why you won’t just shoot your shot with the girl.” Sam shook his head as he opened his duffle.

“Shoot my what?” Bucky glared over at the man with confusion clear in his eyes.

“Your shot, man. (Y/n) has clearly been in love with you since Steve dragged your ass onto the team. What she sees in you compared to this, I’ll never understand but she clearly sees something.” Sam had gestured to himself when he spoke but Bucky just rolled his eyes.

“Maybe instead of talking about (Y/n), you should actually tell me what the plan is?” Bucky suggested as he zipped up his jacket securely.

“How about you stop avoiding your feelings?” Sam retorted which made Bucky shut up and sit down.

“I’m not avoiding my feelings.” Bucky grumbled as he glared at the man.

“Yeah right.” Sam scoffed, shaking his head as he started to change.

You didn’t return to the boys until you were approaching the drop off.

“(Y/n), you’ll be out first.” Torres explained as you put in your ear piece, trying your hardest to ignore Bucky and Sam starring daggers at each other behind you.

“Great. See you on the ground, fellas.” You jumped from the aircraft just as you heard Bucky ask what the plan was in your earpiece.

You had to jump earlier then the men since you were approaching the building from another angle but that didn’t mean you couldn’t hear them bicker still on the aircraft.

When you reached the warehouse, you remained hidden in the trees. You watched several people start to load two trucks with large boxes.

“You’re doing the staring thing again. They’re in there.” You heard Sam’s voice in your earpiece. He must have been talking to Bucky inside the warehouse.

“Where’s the guy?” Bucky asked.

“I don’t know. I think they’re smuggling weapons, though.” Sam responded before you could.

“Well, I think you could be right.” Bucky agreed with a passive aggressive tone. “But there’s only one way to find out. I see a clear path. I say we take it.”

“We’re not assassins.” Sam argued with Bucky.

“I’ll see you inside or not.” Bucky must've walked away from what you could hear.

“Hey, come on, man. I’m just messing with you! Come back.” You could practically see Sam’s smile in your head.

“If you guys are done, I have a visual on the targets. They’re loading up two red trucks.”

“We’re moving up now.” Bucky replied to you.

“Look at you. All stealthy.” Sam was teasing him. “A little time in Wakanda and you come out White Panther.”

“It’s actually White Wolf.” Bucky corrected him and Sam’s reaction almost made you laugh out loud.

You tried to move closer to the trucks to see exactly what was going inside but it was risky with the group constantly checking around them.

“All right, I’m inside. Therefore, way ahead of you. It’s not great, but very doable.” Bucky’s voice came up again. “Hello. How are you?” Bucky sounded irritated. Sam must've snuck up on him.

“Good. What did I miss? Nothing.” Sam whispered back.

“All right, let’s go.” Bucky commanded but Sam stopped him.

“No, wait.”

“I got a vibranium arm. I can take them.” Bucky held up his arm as he fought against Sam’s halt.

“And I can fly. Who gives a shit?” Sam muttered. “Wait. I want to see where they’re going.”

“Guys I may not be in the same location as you but I can hear everything you’re saying so quick the arguing” You whispered lowly as you kept your eyes trained on the trucks.

You tried to zone out the boys bickering as you crept forward. A crashing noise from inside the warehouse made you jump back and hide as the flash smasher members all stopped and looked.

“Be careful.” You hissed at the both of them.

“It wasn’t my fault.” Bucky tried to defend himself but frankly you didn't care. The trucks were staring to close up and their engines switched on.

You watched the people pile into the trucks and you dived over, taking hold of the backdoors and clinging on.

“They have a hostage.” Sam told you as the trucks drove off with you attached.

“Then get moving.” You commanded. You pulled open the door you were hanging to and opened it.

“No sight of a hostage in here.” You informed Sam as you looked around. “Just boxes of vaccines.”

“I found her.” Bucky must've gotten inside the other truck. “Hi. You okay?” Bucky’s voice was then followed by a crashing sound.

However, you had your own problems...

You heard a loud bang behind you and you turned to see two men at the end of the truck. They both had masks on.

“Cute masks.” You taunted them before they charged at you.

You threw three knives at them, two managed to hit one of the men in the thigh and chest but the second man had knocked the third one away.

You went to attack the uninjured one first as he drew closer, you punched him but he was strong. He didn’t even flinch.

You felt a small panic in your chest as you started to fight. He was taking moves that would usually floor someone like he was being attacked by a pillow.

You managed to get him to the ground by wrapping your thighs around his neck and flipping him over you before you threw another knife at the injured soldier. He seemed to retreat, climbing out of the truck and onto the roof.

“Could use some back up, Sam!” You called out as you followed.

You climbed up onto the roof and the first soldier chased after you. The injured one grabbed hold of Bucky along with a third guy and so you were left with the big one.

You heard Redwing shooting at the roof before you saw it but a redheaded female smashed it in half like it was but a plastic toy.

With that, Sam finally swooped in and started throwing punches.

He was thrown to the other roof as you continued to fight your own battle. You were getting tired and his punches seemed to only be getting stronger and more painful each time.

You pulled out another knife but he grabbed your wrist and squeezed. You couldn’t help but cry out at the pressure, you dropped it before he could break your wrist.

Then suddenly a helicopter appeared from what seemed like nowhere. Cap’s shield bounced off one of Sam’s attackers as two new bodies joined the fight.

The distraction allowed you to kick your attacker off the truck and start to help Bucky.

“Sam, John Walker; Captain America.”

“Lemar Hoskins.”

“Looks like you guys could use some help.” Walker and his sidekick introduced themselves.

A surge of rage from the introduction of ‘Captain America’ helped you regain some adrenaline. You turned and started to fight once again.

You let yourself become distracted as Bucky fell from the side of the truck which allowed one of the guys to send you off the truck too.

Sam was quick to fall back with his suit and grab you before you hit the concrete road. However, the impact of him grabbing you did leave you winded.

“Bucky.” You wheezed as the man settled you on the side of the road.

Sam flew up and chased after the trucks.

You took a moment, wincing at your aching body before you rose to your feet and took off in their direction.

You couldn’t catch up to the trucks but it didn’t take long to find Bucky and Sam once you spotted they were both coming out of a field.

“If someone told me I’d be fighting a whole bunch of super soldiers today I would’ve wore my nice pants.” You stated as you approached the two men.

“We knew they were strong but not like this.” Sam defended himself from your anger.

“One of those guys took a knife to the chest and could still walk away.” You threw your arms up as you informed him. This was so much worse than the documents had described.

“It’s going to take a lot more than just a knife to stop these guys.” Bucky’s eyes seemed to carry a storm as he thought.

“How can this be possible? I thought the super soldier serum was gone. What happened in Siberia was supposed to have put an end to it all.” You remembered the failed super soldiers as clear as day.

“We know about as much as you, (Y/n). Unless you tried to, you know, your weird seeing thing?” Sam asked.

“No. It takes it out of me and I can’t do it whilst I’m trying to fight for my life so.” You shook your head as you walked beside the men. Whilst you weren’t as powerful as some of the Avengers, you were a great assassin like Natasha Romanoff. Your talent was your knife throwing but under all the training and all the knowledge, there was a gift. A gift you’d had since birth.

If you touched someone, you could see their entire past, everything they had experienced up until that moment. It really drained you of your energy and over the years you trained yourself so that you could switch it on and off so it didn’t happen every time you touched someone but when you did use it, it usually required a lie down afterwards.

“Sorry about Redwing.” Bucky spoke up after a moment of silence.

“No, you’re not.” Sam rolled his eyes at the fake apology before asking: “What’s going on in that big cyborg brain of yours?”

“It’s computing.” Bucky grumbled.

“You know what? I can actually see it. I can see the gears turning. Oh, they’re malfunctioning, shutting down. Yep, they’re on fire.” Sam couldn’t help but make fun of Bucky which only made you walk ahead of the men. You weren’t in the mood for this.

“We gotta figure out where the serum’s coming from.” You said to stop their silliness.

“Yeah. And how in the hell after 80 years are there eight Super Soldiers runnin’ loose?” Sam agreed with you just as a transport vehicle began to pull up along side him.

“So that didn’t go as planned, huh?” John Walker’s voice penetrated the space like a foul smelling fart.

He opened the truck’s door to allow you all to hop in but you all ignored him.

“Alright. Let’s keep going.” He told the driver before directing his attention back to you. “Look, at least we know what we’re up against now, huh? And we’re pretty sure it’s one of the Big Three, so…”

"Aliens, androids, or wizards?” Sam spoke up just to prove to Bucky that others knew of the ‘Big Three.’

“Pretty sure.” Walker nodded.

“There’s no such thing as wizards.” Bucky exclaimed which made you cock an eyebrow at the man. You clearly missed a conversation here.

“Then it’s aliens, or androids.” Walker shrugged as if it were obvious.

“––Or Super Soldiers.” Sam added.

“Shit. Super Soldiers, for real?” Walker’s colleague responded with the reaction you just about expected.

“Yeah.” Sam confirmed.

“Wow. All right, well, then we gotta work together.” Walker’s eyebrows rose as he spoke.

“That’s not happening.” Bucky declared.

“I think we stand a much better chance if we all just––”

“––Just ’cause you carry that shield, it doesn’t mean you’re Captain America.” Bucky cut Walker short and you were grateful for it. The man was making your head ache.

“Look, I’ve done the work, okay?” Walker sighed.

“You ever jump on top of a grenade?” Bucky shot back but he wasn't met with the answer he wanted.

“Yeah. Actually, I have. Four times. It’s a thing I do with my helmet. It’s a reinforced helmet. It’s a long story, but, any… Look, it’s 20 miles to the airport. You guys need a ride.” Walker got his driver to stop. “Get in.”

You looked back at Sam and Bucky. You hadn’t said anything yet which Sam thought was a record of yours. You chose to give in and climbed into the truck with Bucky and Sam since your body was already aching from the previous fight.

“Okay, so we’ve got eight Super Soldiers on a bulk supply run. Why?” Walker asked, his eye on you as you sat in between Bucky and Sam.

“They say their mission is to get things back to the way it was during the Blip. Maybe they’re just trying to help.” Sam told Walker what he knew.

“They had a funny way of showing it.” Bucky grimaced as a bruise on his face started to form.

“That serum doesn’t exactly have a great track record. No offence.” Walker looked over at Bucky as he hinted at the winter soldier.

“We need to figure out where they’re going.” You wanted to shift the attention away from Bucky.

“She speaks? I have to admit I was starting to wonder.” Walker smiled at you which only made you want to punch him even more than you already did.

“How’d you track ’em here? The Flag Smashers?” Sam could tell you were a second away from decking the new Captain America and hopping ship so carried on the conversation.

“Uh, no, we didn’t track them, we tracked you, uh, through Redwing.” Hoskins notified Sam.

“You hacked my tech?” Sam was beyond irritated at this point.

“Sorry. It’s not exactly hacking. It’s government property. Kind of the government.” Walker laughed as he gestured to himself. “Does he always just stare like that?” He stopped laughing under Bucky’s stare.

“You get used to it.” Sam muttered.

“Okay, look, you know, things have gotten kind of, uh––”

“––Chaotic.”Hoskins helped Walker find the word.

“Yeah.” Walker cleared his throat. “The GRC, they’re doing the best they can to get things up and running smoothly, post Blip.”

“Reactivating citizenship, social security, healthcare. Basically just managing resources for the refugees who were displaced by the return.” Hoskins tried filling you in as if you hadn't heard about it before. The GRC propaganda was plastered across all the cities in America.

“The Global Repatriation Council does all that. We understand but why exactly are you two here?” You questioned, cocking your head towards Walker.

“Well, they provide the resources and we keep things stable.” Hoskins replied first.

“Yeah, violent revolutionaries aren’t usually good for anyone’s cause.” Walker added on.

“Usually said by the people with the resources.” Sam smirked at the men.

“Well, we got a lot of resources. If you guys, if you joined up with us, we could––”

“––No.” Bucky shut Walker down immediately.

“I got mad respect for both of y’all. But you were getting your asses kicked till we showed up.” Hoskins wasn’t helping the situation.

“Who are you?” Bucky asked genuinely.

“Lemar Hoskins.” Hoskins introduced himself once again.

“Look, I see a guy hanging out of a helicopter in tactical gear, I need a lot more than Lemar Hoskins.” Sam backed Bucky up on that one. A name was nothing in this situation.

“I’m Battlestar. John’s partner.” Hoskins nodded towards Walker and you couldn't stop the smile that spread across your lips when Bucky responded.

“Battlestar? Stop the car!” Bucky called up ahead.

The car slowed as it pulled into a bus stop. Bucky pushed open the door and you followed. You couldn't stand sitting in front of that man in that uniform another second longer.

"Look, I… I get it, okay? I get the attitude, I do. You didn’t think that the shield was gonna end up here. I get it, Bucky. And I’m… “ Walker turned back to Sam. “I’m not trying to be Steve. I’m not trying to replace Steve. I’m just trying to be the best Captain America I can be. That’s it. It’d be a whole lot easier if I had Cap’s wingmen on my side.”

Sam scoffed at Walker’s choice of words. Wingmen? He really had the audacity.

“It’s always that last line.” Sam jumped out of the vehicle and followed you and Bucky.

Once back on the aircraft you stripped of your weapons and jacket.

Sam and Bucky did the same.

You sat down on your seat and rested your head back against the wall. You needed an ice bath. Your muscles were screaming at you.

“You alright?” Sam asked Bucky as he sat, his eyes locked on the floor.

You opened your eyes to look over at the men.

“Let’s take the shield, Sam. Let’s take the shield and do this ourselves.” Bucky sounded pretty decided.

“We can’t just run up on the man, beat him up, and take it. Do you remember what happened the last time we stole it?” Sam sat up slowly as he furrowed his brow at the idea.

“Maybe.” Bucky grumbled.

“I’ll help you in case you forgot.” Sam proclaimed, “Sharon was branded enemy of the state, and Steve and I were on the run for two years. I don’t know about you, but I don’t wanna live the rest of my life la vida loca. We just got our ass handed to us by Super Soldiers, and we got nothing.”

Even though you did spend some time in Wakanda under protection from their government, there was a period where you were on the run with Steve and Sam and it wasn’t fun. Being pardoned after the fight against Thanos was one of the best things that happened to you; it’s what allowed you to go home.

“Not entirely true.” Bucky pushed himself onto his feet. “There is someone that you should meet.”

Bucky’s eyes met yours and you knew who he was talking about.

You had seen Bucky's past. Everyone of Bucky’s memories. You had seen all the death and the pain and the fighting. You had seen the Winter Soldier and pre-world war Bucky and you had suffered for it for some time. Nightmares used to plague you but you had managed to block most stuff from your mind over the years. Especially the Winter Soldier memories because that wasn’t really Bucky; that was a weapon made by Hydra.

You had been forced by the team to check his memories to see if he really had bombed the UN but you couldn't choose how far you looked back, you gift made you see everything from the earliest childhood memory up to that moment.

You stood and approached Bucky.

“Are you sure about this?” You whispered, taking hold of Bucky’s forearm as you pulled him to one side.

“He should know.” Bucky’s eyes seemed so sure. You dropped your hand down from his arm to his hand and gave it a squeeze.

“Alright then.” You pressed your lips into a thin line as you accepted his choice.

Soon enough the route was changed and the plane turned.

“Will you come?” Bucky asked as the door to the plane opened.

“I’ll wait here but call me if you need me.” You didn’t feel like seeing Isaiah. Some of the time if something from Bucky’s past showed up it could trigger his memories in your own head which you didn’t particularly enjoy.

“Alright.” Bucky sighed but left without you.

Only a short while later you had received a phone call from Sam.

“Hello?” You answered.

“It’s Bucky. He’s been arrested. There was a warrant out for his arrest.” Sam informed you.

“Why?” You were confused. Bucky had been pardoned like the rest of you for his crimes and his warrant wiped.

“He missed his therapy session or something. I’m heading back to your, we gotta go get him out.” Sam hung up pretty quickly.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone about the super solider?” Sam asked you as you made your way to the station.

“I only knew because I’ve been inside Bucky’s head but if I listed off every single person Bucky has fought or killed or wronged it would take me a while.” You hated admitting that but the Winter Soldier had done a lot of damage.

“But this was a black super soldier who rotted behind bars for years! Being experimented on like a lab rat whilst Steve sat in the ice and Bucky ran around playing secret assassin!” Sam was angry and you understood why.

“I didn’t know he was in prison. I only knew of him as the guy Bucky fought in Goyang and lost. I figured if Bucky wanted him found then he would say. It’s not my place, they’re not my memories.” You tried to defend yourself but you knew Sam would never understand your logic.

“How can I trust you if you’re sitting on information like that?” Sam catechised you.

“Because you’ve trusted me for years. I say what needs to be said and if it isn't useful to us at the time then I don’t bring it up. I have so much inside of here from people that aren’t even around more. When I go inside someone’s head the memories don’t just go away. Sometimes it’s hard to tell who’s memories I’m thinking of when I look back on things. I block what I can and deal with what I can’t.” You stopped Sam in the hallway as you snapped. You couldn’t believe he was questioning whether he could trust you or not after everything.

“I know it can be hard for you. I can’t imagine what its like but there are some things more important than others and Isaiah. Isaiah is one of them.” Sam’s words just made you turn and head to the desk.

You tried to get as much information about Bucky but all they instructed you to do was sit and wait.

“Sam?” A woman approached you and Sam. You lifted your head up at the sound of her voice. “I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Dr. Raynor. I’m James’s therapist.”

You shook hands with the woman and introduced yourself.

“I’ve heard some about you too.” Dr. Raynor smiled as she greeted you.

“Thank you for getting him out.” Sam thanked her as he shook her hand but she only furrowed her brow.

“That was not me.” She told you both.

“Christina!” You didn’t need super hearing to recognise that voice. “Good to see you again!” Walker was signing autographs as he entered the station.

“You gotta be kidding me. You know him?” Sam only said what you were thinking.

“Yeah, we did some field ops back in the day.” Dr Raynor looked between Sam and Walker.

“I heard you were working with Bucky, so I thought I’d step in.” Walker approached her which made you stepped back. “Bucky’s not gonna be following a strict schedule any longer.”

“We haven’t finished our work. Who authorized this?” Dr Raynor protested.

“Um…” Walker pointed to himself. You felt a fire flare inside of you. “He’s too valuable of an asset to have tied up. Just do whatever you got to do with him, then send him off to me. Got some unfinished business, him and I.”

Walker then pointed to you and Sam.

“You too, Wilson. (Y/l/n). I’ll be outside.” Walker backed away, sending a wink in your direction.

You felt Sam take hold of your wrist quickly before you could even take the chance to lunge forward.

“Breathe.” Sam told you. “We’ll deal with that asshole later.”

Bucky was allowed through and Dr Raynor approached him immediately.

“James, condition of your release, session now. You too, Sam.” She insisted as she headed back towards the cells from which Bucky had just come from.

“That’s okay. I’ll be out here with (Y/n).” Sam brushed off the offer except it wasn’t an offer.

“That wasn’t a request.” Dr Rayor warned him.

You pushed the man forward.

“Quicker you’re in, quicker you’re out.” You told him.

“Why doesn’t she want you?” Sam pouted.

“Get moving before I get bored and decide to use John Walker out there as my new punching bag. Get myself in trouble.” You tried to make the man laugh but failed. He only groaned and dragged himself inside.

It didn’t take long for Sam to storm out of there who was swiftly followed by Bucky.

“Hey, you okay?” You asked Sam as he returned to you.

“Peachy.” He sneered.

You sighed and followed both men outside.

“Well, I feel better.” Sam announced once you were all finally outside.

“I feel awful.” Bucky muttered which made you want to take his hand but you refrained as a siren drew your attention over to Walker and his buddy.

“Gentlemen. Lady. Good to see you again.” Walker had a smile on that you wanted to wipe clean off. “ Look, if we divide ourselves, we don’t stand a chance, you guys know that.”

“Well do you have anything that’s actually useful?” You folded your arms across your chest as you closed in on the men.

"Well, the leader’s name’s Karli Morgenthau. We’ve been targeting civilians who’ve been helping Karli move from place to place.” Walker started.

“They geotagged a location, then scrambled the signal. But our satellites have found their symbol popping up in various displaced communities all across Central and Eastern Europe.” Hoskins continued.

“We think she’s taking the medicine she just stole to one of these camps.” Walker finished.

“Well, there are hundreds of those all over the planet since the Blip. So I guess you’ll have to look real hard.” Bucky’s glowered at the man as he leant on the cop car.

“Good thing I have 20/20 vision, huh?” Walker smirked as he snapped back.

“Where is she now, Walker? Do you know?” Bucky rose his voice.

“No, we don’t know, Bucky. It’s only a matter of time before we find out.” Walker rose his voice also.

“Things are really intense for you, aren’t they, Walker?” Bucky was being cocky. You had to stop yourself from finding it amusing.

“Take it easy. Look, Walker’s right. It is imperative that we find them and stop them. But you guys have rules of engagement and all kind of authorizations you have to get. We’re free agents. We’re more flexible. So it wouldn’t make sense for us to work with you.” Sam interrupted and seemed to clear the air a little. You took his last words as a chance to leave but Walker wasn’t done.

“A word of advice, then.” Walker stopped you all. “Stay the hell out of my way.”

You watched the two men walk away. Your jaw clenching together to stop you from saying something you’d regret.

“Come on.” Sam urged you on and you forced yourself to walk away.

Once you were far enough from the station Sam asked you both what you were thinking.

“Well, I know what we have to do. When Isaiah said ‘my people’...” Bucky was the one of out you both to speak first.

“Oh, don’t take that to heart. That’s not what he meant.” Sam began.

“No, he meant HYDRA. HYDRA used to be my people.” Bucky corrected him.

“Not a chance.” You shook your head, putting your foot down.

“Walker doesn’t have any leads.” Bucky claimed.

“Bucky, I know where you’re going with this and I’m saying no.” You couldn’t believe he was even suggesting it.

“He knows all of HYDRA’s secrets.” Bucky tried to reason with you.

“Don’t you remember Siberia?” Sam also knew exactly what Bucky meant.

Bucky nodded.

“So you’re just gonna go sit in a room with this guy?” Sam stared at Bucky with a mixture of shock and concern.

“Yes.” Bucky was hesitant to answer which only made you hate this idea even more.

“Okay, then.” Sam sighed. “We’re gonna go see Zemo.”

“No! No, we aren’t not going to see Zemo!” You demanded causing both the boys to stop.

“(Y/n), it’s different now.” Bucky declared.

“It’s the only lead we got.” Sam was actually on Bucky’s side.

“What? And you think he’s just gonna help us like that?” You scoffed out of disbelief.

“We have to try.” Bucky started to walk again.

“I trust this guy about as far as I can throw him, Buck!” You exasperated.

“That’s more than me.” Sam murmured but you chose to ignore it.

“(Y/n). We’re going.” Bucky wasn't arguing anymore. It was going to happen.

(PART 2 HERE)

Bucky Barnes Tags

@florencxs @mystictimetravelcolor @yourphotographyteen16 @shannon-posts @darkbluenovember @sexwithhiddlesbatch

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #falcon and the winter soldier #falcon and the winter soldier imagines #sam Wilson imagines #Sam Wilson #falcon #the winter soldier #Sebastian Stan #Sebastian Stan imagines #Sebastian Stan x reader

767 notes · View notes

kaunis-sielu · 3 years ago

Text

Schoolyard

You’d first met him in second grade. Your dad was a high ranking military man and so your family moved around quite a bit. He had been rowdy but he’d always been nice to you.

You’d become close friends with him and his little group of friends, going to the school for kids whose parents were government officials gave you all kind of a weird perspective of the world. One that was from a more political perspective since many of the kids in your school will end up being involved in the government somehow.

You’d been so close that you’d even had a mock wedding, his best friend knew all the wording for a Nordic wedding and all through middle school he’d joked about being your husband. Even after you’d left Asguard you’d occasionally get emails from him that always started “To my Wifey” but you don’t see him again.

It wasn’t even until you had moved to a new boarding school that you’d even realized who he was. Your new roommate Jane had seen a photo of your friends and had promptly freaked out. She couldn’t believe that you knew Prince Thor, the hottest actual prince in the world.

You’d stayed in touch over the years, through high school and graduation but once college hit you both kind of drifted. You got busy with getting your MD and he, well you suppose that he got busy with learning to run a country.

You know he hasn’t married yet, Jane keeps you updated on that. There have been a few women he’s been spotted with but none seem to actually be dating him or even in the running. Jane always teases you about Thor still being your husband, you still have the little mood ring that he’d given you.

You’ve got about an hour before Jane comes for your monthly pizza night. So you order pizzas and change out of your work clothes into a pair of sweats and an old college tee shirt. Girls night is about being comfy and watching Disney movies so you’re able to catch up without missing anything in the movies.

Jane has her own key so she just lets herself in when she arrives.

“Hey Dummy. When’s the food gonna be here?”

“That’s rich you calling me a dummy. I’m the only real doctor in the apartment.” You fire back and you hear Jane laugh loudly from the living room. “But in all honesty I think it’ll be here in the next ten minutes or so. Pick a movie.”

“Wine first!” She yells and you come out of your room with your hair up and glasses on. Jane is also in a pair of sweatpants but her shirt is one that you’d made her a couple years ago.

“How has your month been?”

“Good, busy. We may have found a new star!”

“What! Jane that’s amazing congratulations!”

“We just have to track it for a bit longer to see if it repeats what it did last year and some other boring shit.” You laugh as she passes you a glass of wine, “How about you?”

“One of my patients came back cancer free the other day!”

“Oh yay!” There’s a knock at the door and Jane sets down her glass before bounding toward it, cash in hand. “Pizza!” She cries just before flinging open the door. She stands in the doorway gawking and you laugh.

“Dude what are you doing? You look like a psycho.”

“Not pizza.” Jane manages to say and you start toward the door eyeing the baseball bat propped against the wall.

“No, not pizza. Had I known you were waiting I would’ve brought some with.” The male voice in the hallway says. It’s accented and familiar but that doesn’t really help you.

“Jane you’re freaking me out.” You tell her scooping up the bat on your way to the door. “Who is at the..door?” You blink up at the large blonde man in the doorway. “Thor?”

“That’s Crown Prince Thor.” A man grumbles from behind him. Thor waves the man off and you understand why Jane is acting so weird now.

“Hi, I’m sorry I should’ve called but I didn’t have your number so that would’ve been hard.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Oh, I needed to talk to you about some things.” He looks good, his hair is short and he’s got scruffy beard going on that isn’t quite a full beard but not a five o’clock shadow. He’s got a dark blue peacoat on but those bright blue eyes are the only thing that haven’t changed. “Can I take you out tomorrow night? To dinner somewhere?”

“Oh, um that would be fine. Seven?”

“Excellent, it’s a date. We will come pick you up.”

“We?”

“Oh, Volstagg and me.” He gestures to the man standing in the hallway behind him. “Odin insists now that I have a bodyguard.” He says with an eye roll, this is so reminiscent of your childhood that you can’t help but smile. “Sorry for interrupting your night.”

“It’s okay, it was nice to see you.” The pizza guy comes up and Thor pulls out his wallet and pays before you can stop him. “Thor you don’t have to.”

“I know.” He says with a wide smile before passing you the box. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Right here at 7.”

“Sounds good.”

“Could I get your number just in case anything changes?”

“Oh, yea sure.” He pulls his phone from his coat pocket and hands it to you. You punch in your number and hand it back, “Let me know who you are when you text okay?”

“Okay. Bye.” He and Volstagg leave then and after you shut the door Jane looks at you and whispers,

“What the fuck?” Then she yells, “What the actual fuck! You have a date with a fucking prince.”

“Oh my god Jane could you chill please?”

“No!” She cries, “forget pizza and a movie we need to find you a dress! I have more fancy dresses than you. We should go to my apartment! You always looked so pretty in that black swoop neck one that I have, or maybe a blue one so it can match his eyes. Have you ever seen eyes that blue.” As she rambles you head to the couch with the pizza then place it on the coffee table. You grab both wine glasses from the kitchen counter and bring them to the coffee table too.

“I am going to sit here, watch a movie, drink wine and eat pizza. You can do whatever the fuck you want.”

“But-but-you have a date with a Prince.”

“It’s not a date.”

“He literally said it was a date!” She protests.

“Turning the movie on now.” You tell her and she lets out a long groan. “Besides I have the black dress here.”

“Oh. Okay.” She sits down on the couch and reaches for a piece of pizza.

You’re actually able to get Jane to focus on something other than meeting with Thor tomorrow. You do wonder what he might need to talk to you about that was so urgent that he needed to come here unannounced, and after so much time.

When the movie is over you watch one more before Jane decides to head home. She hasn’t mentioned your ‘date’ since you’d started the second movie. But when she turns on you at the doorway you know she hasn’t forgotten.

“I want every. Single. Detail.”

“Okay okay, every detail.”

“No, no, every single detail.” She repeats emphasizing the single and you laugh.

“Copy that. I mean who knows I might have to sign a NDA.”

“Ooh, scandalous.” She teases with a raised eyebrow and you shake your head at her.

“You’re such a nerd.”

“Takes one to know one.” She calls as she heads down the hallway.

“Let me know when you’re home!” You call back and she gives you a little wave of acknowledgement.

Now that she’s gone though you’ve got plenty of time to think. What was it he needed to talk to you about? Why couldn’t it wait? Why didn’t you get his number too? You don’t even know how nice you need to dress because you don’t know where you’re going.

You get ready for bed, washing your face and brushing your teeth. You lay in bed for a while, you and Thor had always gotten along well. Now that you knew he was the Crown Prince of Asguard things might be a little, weird, but he’d seemed normal enough other than the bodyguard. Like he wasn’t putting on airs or being all posh, if you didn’t know he was the Crown Prince you’d have thought he was just some hot dude. Which, he is, those damn ocean blue eyes could convince you to do just about anything when you were kids.

Probably still could.

Tag list:

@abschaffer2 @dsakita @dramadreamer14 @thesassmisstress @eralen @andahugaroundtheneck @loving-life-my-way @thefridgeismybestie @killcomet @dumblani @im-just-another-monster @mywinterwolf @scuzmunkie @biskwitmamaw @geeksareunique @paintballkid711 @lumar014 @also-fangirlinsweden @connie326 @inkedaztec @valsworldofcreativity

#imagine thor #thor odinson #thor x reader #thor x reader au #thor odinson x reader #tho odinson x reader au #schoolyard story #avengers #imagine avengers au #imagine thor odinson

115 notes · View notes

stuff-from-the-void-matron · 4 years ago

Text

Laurel Wreaths & Animal Teeth (8)

(c!Technoblade x fem!Reader)

(Still no Tech this time, please don’t be mad! But hey we’re in L’manberg now! That’s pog right? Plus we officially meet Wilb and Fundy! But remember y’all, if this chapter doesn’t do well then I can’t write chapter 9! So show chapter 8 some love!! <3)

—————

MOAR ART!

I tried drawing Reader! -> She.

And xoxoyukixoxo-art-dump on here drew her too! She looks so SICK! SHE!

----

He’d been watching her for some time now.

Not all day and night like some weirdo but he’d noticed instantly when she’d ‘logged on’ so to speak. The first thing to make him curious was him wondering how she arrived here in the first place, but when he tried teleporting to this new person it strangely hadn’t worked. He’d simply not gone anywhere, which was beyond puzzling. He should be able to teleport to anyone on this server. That little tidbit, the not being able to teleport to her, was the second thing to make him curious. So curious in fact that he spent a very long time just looking for her. When the ability to teleport to her was no longer an option he’d found searching for someone was much harder, but in the end he’d found her. And good lord was she a big one. Not taller than endermen or anything bigger but she definitely towered over the villagers she lived with.

He didn’t know how she ended up here since you needed an invite to be allowed on the server. And he knows she wasn’t invited, because he knows ALL the people who are invited. Hell, at one point he even tried banning her (an action which kicks players from the server) but… nothing had happened. He’d been hidden and watching her when he’d done it and she’d not even noticed, just kept on planting flowers around one of the villager’s houses without a care in the world.

He’d unbanned her and nothing changed again. Then he’d tried using other commands on her. Teleport, clear, give, and even Kill. Not a single one did anything. That made him nervous. He’d never encountered something like this before. It was unheard of. If this player decided to become hostile, or End forbid, GENOCIDAL… it would have very disastrous consequences for the other players on the server..

He decided then and there to monitor her deeply until further notice.

Which turned into him popping up by her village and sneaking in to watch her and what she did day in and day out for a few months. And honestly.. She seemed pretty benign.

All she really did was change up the village she lived in and decorate. When not doing those things she would do other hobbies like cooking and potion making. She’d also leave the village sometimes to just explore. He took those chances to go inside her home and snoop around. He also noticed aggressive mobs were pretty neutral towards her for whatever reason. That only ever happened if a player had a clear relation to a mob (aka a hybrid) or if the player had creative… Which it looked like she had. But she also didn’t look fully human.

“What a strange being you are..”

-0-

Before you knew it the next day had come, bright and early.

You’d had to go back to the Overworld around sunrise to get ready to greet Tubbo. You’d explained to Azo that you’d try to come back as soon as you could but for now you had to go on a trip for a while. She was sad to see you go but said okay and to hurry back. Your heart broke all over again, feeling terrible that you had to leave her alone but there was nothing you could do. You’d bring her with you if it were possible but you knew her entering the Overworld would turn her into a zombie instantly. And that’s not a fate you’re willing to make anyone go through.

But you left her a chest with some golden carrots, some apples, and even some of the stew you’d made for Tubbo and Tommy. She liked the stew, so you left her a few bowls and even some juice to drink in case she got thirsty. You hugged her goodbye and told her you’d bring her a gift back. She nodded happily and then you sadly had to leave through the portal. Which you made sure to destroy after exiting it. Didn’t want anything wandering through. That would be a disaster.

Once you were back in the overworld you went home and sat on your bed and just thought. More than anything you just wanted to step in and prevent Schlatt and Quackity from winning. But you didn’t know if doing that would have dangerous consequences or not. You’d seen so many movies where a small change in the past ends up having massive effects in the future. Damn butterfly effects. Stopping them from winning the election could end up causing a civil war within L’manburg. Or Tubbo, Tommy, or Wilbur could end up hurt or even lose a life. Or something even more devastating could happen.

...But you hated the thought of Tommy and Wilbur getting exiled. It wasn’t fair or just. Especially while getting shot at and chased down like dogs. Schlatt and Quackity really pissed you off with that part. Seeing Ponk and Punz just instantly turn on the two original founders left you feeling utterly appalled. Schlatt hadn’t even been sworn in as president yet! He’d not taken an oath or anything! None of what he ‘decreed’ should have been taken as law! None of it was legal-

You pause. None of that WAS legal.. right? Did the citizens even know that? Were they aware that simply winning an election wasn’t the instant inauguration that Schlatt and Quackity made it out to be? Surely there was more to L’manburg than simply the bare bones parts that were shown on youtube in your original world. There had to be actual systemic structure for this whole ass small country. You wanted to believe there was, because the alternative made you facepalm. But at this point you honestly just didn’t know. You would need to have a discussion with Wilbur and Tommy (Wilbur more so since he was the adult in this situation).

You needed to talk to Wilbur asap.

-0-

Tubbo and Tommy came to get you bright and early, the blond looking more anxious than he was trying to let on. Seeing the usually so upbeat and grinning boy so nervous made your stomach churn. So you’d pulled him into a hug, not even letting him finish his greeting to you before you did. He went silent and was tense at first. But you took in a breath and said in as reassuring a tone as you could physically muster,

“Don’t worry kiddo. Things WILL be okay. I’ll make sure of it, alright?”

Tommy was silent, but you could hear the choked gasp of breath the boy took in, and you felt how his lanky body seemed to relax in your hold. He awkwardly put his arms around your back, seemingly not used to this, the whole hugging thing. At least not such heartfelt ones. He’s hugged Tubbo, Wilbur, and Philza but this one just felt different. It felt safer. Like if he stayed here nothing could hurt him. It was weird but.. nice. Part of the boy didn’t want to let go. He didn’t want to leave this new safe place. Here hugging you there was no fear of losing the election, no worries of wars with the DSMP, there was nothing bad. Just a pleasant warmth he felt like he could just fall asleep to.

But the bigger part of him knew he’d never hide away from his problems. It wasn’t who he was. He wasn’t some baby coward who hid behind mommy for protection when shit got tough. (missing how his subconscious referred to you as ‘mom’) He was a MAN! Nevermind he was barely 16! He was practically an adult (in his own eyes)! He’d fought in a war for independence! He’d battled for his and his countrymen’s freedom! There’s no way he’d cower away from this damned election!

With a new fire in him, largely in part to the confidence you seemed to have for him and L’manburg, he eventually pulled back from the hug and gave you one of his signature bright grins. He said thanks but there’s no way he was worrying! Like you said, things were gonna be fine! You gave him an encouraging smile in return and agreed, then added that if anything DID go wrong you’d stick by them and make sure it all got resolved. The teens looked grateful for your support. But then you bid the villagers goodbye for now and told the iron golems to make sure to keep them all safe.

Then you three were off to L’manburg.

-0-

Walking into L’manburg was weird. You’d only ever seen parts of it via the videos you’d watched from the various minecraft youtubers. But being there in person was wild, seeing all the buildings and pathways was interesting though. Tommy and Tubbo changed into their ‘presidential attire’, which were just those vaguely old school British military uniforms they wore at the start of the L’manburg thing. You still ruffled their hair and cooed over them, saying they looked like official little men. They got all huffy and Tommy swatted your hand away, making you laugh. Tubbo suggested showing you around before the election began, which you thought was a good idea. So the pair escorted you around L’manburg, showing you the main places plus their houses and favorite spots. You gave Tommy a Look and asked him if he really lived in a dirt hut.

“It’s DIRT Tommy, not even cobblestone. Just a dirty dirt hut,” you said with a sigh.

Tubbo snickered while Tommy tried defending himself. But he honestly was just making excuses though thankfully he got cut off by Wilbur showing up. He was in the same uniform as both teenagers and you saw him giving you a wide eyed look as he walked up. You could tell he was used to not being around someone so much taller than him. Which you guess made sense since he’d been hanging out with teenagers, a girl, and his own son mostly. You think Dream is taller than him but you don’t know how often they’re around each other peacefully to notice height..

“Oh, hello, you must be Reader! Tommy and Tubbo have told me about you!” the brunet man said with a charming smile.

You returned the smile and held your hand out for him to shake. He gave a firm handshake and you said he must be Wilbur and that the boys had mentioned him to you. He gave a sly smile to the two boys and asked if that was so, and said he hoped they’d said good things about him. Not liking his teasing tone Tommy cut in and said he told you about Wilbur being a bitch! You laughed and Wilbur punched Tommy in the shoulder, laughing when the boy loudly claimed he was abusing a child!

Wilbur rolled his eyes at the blond boy and asked what the occasion for you visiting his lovely country was. You gave a relaxed smile and said you just wanted to come out and support ‘big man’ and Tubbo on this exciting day! Wilbur smiled and perked up when Tubbo said they were giving you a tour of L’manburg. Wilbur asked why the shortest boy didn’t say so before and gestured for you to follow him, saying the best person to give a tour is always the president! You liked his charming enthusiasm but you could still see the nervousness just lurking under the surface for all three of them. You hated that their worry was justified.

-0-

Wilbur took over showing you around, Tubbo and Tommy right behind him adding little comments here and there to irk him. You ohh’d and ahh’d at the polite times, even saying how cool the place was. You even got shown Wilbur’s ‘ball house’ and their extensive nether pathways briefly. You got a bit distracted in the Nether, wondering if Azo was okay. Though you supposed she was a tough kid, what with having survived in the Nether her whole life so far. But she was just a little kid, still a toddler. She shouldn’t have to survive. She should be living.

“And I guess that’s the whole tour! I hope we’ve given you a good impression of my country~” Wilbur said with a smile, thoroughly snapping your attention back to the present.

You were thankful they couldn’t see how your eyes widened when you realized you’d totally zoned out during the last leg of the tour. Instead of worrying you just gushed and said you’d been really dazzled! The trio grinned and you ruffled Tommy’s hair and said you could expect no less from the big man himself and sweet Tubbo. The pair were happy to hear you praising the country they’d worked so hard to have, with Tommy even playfully swatting your hand away from your hair and saying anything he helped with would be the best. Wilbur gave a very big brother reply of ‘oh really?’ that was dripping with doubt, which started to set Tommy off.

The two started going back and forth, causing you to roll your eyes. Yeah they definitely had the brother vibe about them. Though Wilbur lost interest in arguing when he spotted someone a bit aways behind you and Tommy. He perked up and waved, calling out ‘FUNDY!’ to get his son’s attention. You all glanced over to see a fox hybrid in a uniform that was the same as the boys around you, only the coloring was off. Fundy’s was more pastel colored while the others were darker/more saturated. Wilbur waved him over and you noticed the way Fundy’s muzzle scrunched up when Wilbur threw an arm around his shoulders, but you said nothing. Not really your place but from what you remember of the smp videos… Wilbur wasn’t the ideal father figure to his furry son..

“Fundy, this is Reader! She’s a friend of Tubbo and Tommy’s! She came to support us today,” Wilbur said with a smile.

The fox quirked an eyebrow at you and asked a mildly incredulous voice if your name was actually ‘Reader’. Tommy told him to shut up and pointed out that his name was ‘Fundy’ so he had no room to be criticizing anybody’s name. Fundy raised his paws in surrender and said fine, whatever, no need to jump down his throat about it. You chuckled and said it was okay, it was a rather odd name. And you liked his name, it was cool. Tommy actually boo’d you while Fundy smiled, glad at least someone stuck up for him. Though that reminded Fundy to ask Wilbur if he’d seen the ballots…

Wilbur’s mood darkened and he gave a clipped, “Yeah, I saw them.” His tone making the other L’manburg citizens feel uncomfortable. You spoke up, asking what was wrong with them? Had someone tampered with them or something? Fundy sighed and rubbed the back of his neck and said yes and no. Yes someone had changed them but it wasn’t really ‘tampering’, just altering to fit with the new campaign runners. She gave his upset father a side glance, his triangular shaped ears going back when he saw the way Wilbur’s eyebrows were furrowed and his jaw clenched. Seems the current president was still pissed off that his son and first lady had decided to run against him together..

“Well we had to change the ballots to include all the people running, and even an ‘other’ option… Yeah,” Fundy said lowly.

You couldn’t help the way you raised an eyebrow at that and said,

“Isn’t that just the standard for ballots? Designing ballots to not show all the people their options would just be criminal.”

Wilbur didn’t seem to like your (in his opinion) unwanted input and said however L’manburg designed their ballots was none of your business anyways, especially since you weren’t even a citizen. You could feel yourself narrowing your eyes at the brunet, though nobody could see it, and replied that you didn’t need to be a citizen to point out that not putting all the names of those running on an ELECTORAL BALLOT was hugely unethical and borderline malicious hindrance to the citizen’s right to free choice. This little snit between you and the current president had dropped the mood low, with the three boys beside you looking more than uncomfortable.

But thankfully Tubbo found his voice and before Wilbur could retort to your statement he turned to you and said the election and debate would be starting soon and that he’d sit in the audience with you. This reminded Wilbur that he needed to practice his speech and debate responses with Tommy so he straightened his posture and adjusted his coat before giving you a faux smile and then telling Tubbo they’d see him afterwards. You kept a polite smile on your face as the four led you to an open part of the village center where a large stage/platform had been built along with seating in front of it. Wilbur jerked his thumb towards the stage and told Tommy to come on and the blond boy said he’d be right there in a moment. The brunet looked put out but nodded and stalked off, leaving the four alone in the audience area.

Once he was out of earshot you turned to Tommy and gave him a disbelieving look and said in a hushed tone,

“Tommy, you and Wilbur weren’t ACTUALLY planning to tamper with the ballots were you?? That’s insanely unconstitutional! The people of L’manburg have a right to know and be able to choose whichever voting option they want. If they don’t have that option then it’s not a real election, it’s just the illusion of choice.”

The blond looked uncomfortable, sweating and avoiding eye lens contact with you. He felt ashamed because… well that HAD been the plan. At least Wilbur told him it had been before Quackity found out. He’d not been sure about the plan but he hadn’t done much to argue with Wilbur either. He’d convinced himself it wasn’t that big of a deal, but seeing how shocked and offended you looked that they’d even thought about doing that made him feel like a bastard. You saw how nervous he looked and sighed, placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing softly before reassuring him you weren’t angry.

“I’m not mad at you Tommy, I’m just disappointed that this was something you went along with. You have to know how wrong that was? Imagine you were a regular citizen and you voted in the election but later found out it was all rigged, you’d never had a choice regarding your country like you’d been led to believe. Wouldn’t you feel wronged?”

Tommy seemed to deflate at your words but gave a remorseful nod, neither of you noticing that your words seemed to have also struck a chord with both Fundy and Tubbo as well. You gave the blond boy a reassuring smile, saying that part of being a member of government was respecting the people’s choices. Even if you think it’s stupid and wrong. You have to let the people choose for themselves. The ability to choose is sometimes the only difference between merely existing on this bitch of a world and actually Living~

Tommy seemed to have taken your words to heart, making you smile at him before pulling him into a half hug and saying sincerely,

“I’m proud of you Tommy, Tubbo too. You’ve both done so much for this country. More than any child should ever have to. I wish more than anything that you’d not HAD to sacrifice and lose so much. But I’ll be here to support you both going forward. I just don’t want either of you doing anything unethical. You’re both better than that.”

Tubbo almost teared up and came over and let his face rest against your side in a show of affection. He’d never had anyone say they were proud of him before and honestly.. he didn’t know how badly he needed to hear it until you said it. Tommy leaned into your hug, close to tearing up like his best friend but he blinked rapidly until the tears faded.

None of them noticed the envious way Fundy stared at them, feeling jealousy bubble in his stomach at the way you seemed to care for the two boys. He felt childish for feeling that way but he couldn’t help it. You clearly cared about the two in a maternal way, that much was obvious. But you weren’t treating them like babies either. You were respectful and loving at the same time. Fundy wondered if that’s what it was like to have a mother..

“TOMMY! COME ON! THE RALLY STARTS SOON!”

They all broke away when they heard Wilbur yelling down at them from the podium. Tubbo sighed and Tommy straightened his hat before giving a cheeky smile. You told him to go give his best, and no matter what happened you’d be proud. This pumped the blond boy up and he gave a cheer before ruffling Tubbo’s hair and turning to the stage and running up around the side to get to the top, you and the brunet watching him go. That’s when you remembered the fox hybrid that was still standing close by. You offer him a calm smile and say kindly,

“So, Fundy was it?”

------

tagged folks: @salinesoot @lady-bee-fechin @kacchasu @putridjoy @lunawritesstories @galaxypankitty3030 @paradigmax @zachariethememerie @killmewithafanfic @trinity-1002107 @hufflepuff-demigod @truthdaze @exorcisms-with-elmo @redbloodtea @heythereimhaylz @olyink @jackalopedoodles @nikkineeky @artsimatsu @hufflepuff-demigod @corpiet @beepa99 @anxiousnarwhale @bananaaddictmilkshake

#Laurel Wreaths & Animal Teeth #technoblade x reader #techno x reader #dsmp #dream smp #c!tommy #c!tuboo #c!wilbur #c!fundy

229 notes · View notes

forever-rogue · 4 years ago

Note

Alright alright ty for responding! I’m super hyped abt this one hehe but here I go:

This is for Frankie Morales, who I love so freaking much ☺️

Okay okay here: A high school reunion where Frankie and Reader meet again after 10 years.

They had such a huge crush on one another and reader was ‘popular’ while Frankie was just shy/nerdy. Maybe they dated but had to separate while they were in college because of the distance but they still have feelings after all these years?

Also reader has learned that Frankie has a kid but didn’t know that his wife divorced him so she’s kind of upset until Frankie tells her (assuming she runs off or something?).

Eventually they start again in their relationship and it’s a fluffy and cute!

I love angst and fluff so since you like writing about those I thought you would be a great person to ask hehe. Anyways I love your works so much and thanks in advance if you write this! ❤️✨

A/N: this is literally just a ton of softness, enjoy! 💕

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: none

FRANKIE MASTERLIST

MASTERLIST

»»————-　♡　————-««

You could hardly believe your eyes as you scanned the room and found the one person you hadn’t been expecting to see. Out of all the people in the world, there was Frankie Morales, across the crowded ballroom, mingling with a few other of your old classmates. It had been two whole decades since you’d last seen him; two decades since you’d last kissed him, last told him you loved him, last held him. Back then you had been positive that you wouldn’t see the last of him.

You knew he’d gone into the military after high school, greatly deviating from your plans of college, and ultimately causing your break up. You’d never heard a word from him or seen so much as a glimpse of him since the day of your graduation. At first you had been hopeful that you’d see him again sometime at some point, but the time had never come. That had led you to believe that he wouldn’t even be coming here tonight, to your class reunion. You could just picture him saying something along the lines of ‘why? what a silly waste of time!’ Unbeknownst to you, he hadn’t actually planned on coming - not until he’d gotten word through the grapevine that you’d be there.

The sight of him was enough to take your breath away; he still looked exactly the same after all this time, just older, hardened, and world weary. Much like yourself and everyone else here, you supposed. But when his soft, chocolate eyes met yours, you couldn’t help but grin at him, the corners of your mouth tugging upwards without a second thought. Turning to the group of women you were chatting with, you offered them a half hearted excuse and made your way over to teenage love. Frankie didn’t hesitate to do the same.

Meeting halfway in the middle, you almost crashed into each other, your body practically humming with excited nervous energy as you stared at Frankie - your Frankie. He smiled that same smile you’d fallen in love with all those years ago, his magnificent dimple making its appearance.

“Frankie-”

“Honey Bee-”

“I can’t believe you’re here,” you both said excitedly, before breaking into a fit of giggles. At least you were on the same page about this one. Part of you had always wondered, even if just a small, tiny part of you, whether he held any disdain or dislike for you after you ended your relationship. It had been hard at the time, you were both lovestruck young fools, but you both knew at the time, even if only deep down, that it was the right thing to do. Maybe it had all happened the way it did for a reason.

“Do you want to go outside? To the gardens?” he asked softly as you nodded in response. Without a moment of hesitation, he reached for your hand, clutching it tightly, but gently, in his much larger one, lacing your finger together without a second thought. Trailing behind his long strides, you couldn’t help but admire his frame; tall and broad, with just the right amount of softness that somehow remained firm. He’d gone from a good looking teenager to a handsome man.

Once you were away from all the commotion and outside in the cool evening air in the gardens decorated with lightly twinkling lanterns, he paused and turned to study you. A look of pure adoration was etched into his eyes as his hands found either side of your face and he gently traced over your features.

“You are just as beautiful today as you always have been,” he beamed at you, “my sweetest Bee. After all these years, I get to see you again.”

“Francisco…”

“May I kiss you?” as soon as his name fell so softly from your lips, he couldn’t help him. It was like he was eighteen again, and falling over, so easily, so effortlessly. You watched with wide, doe eyes, the most innocent expression on your face as you nodded before biting on your lip.

Before either of you could think too much about it, he crashed his lips onto yours and kissed you with a fervent, but gentle intensity. It was like no time had passed and neither of you had to think about it; it all worked so easily. Just like it had always been meant to be.

When you finally, reluctantly, pulled apart, you grinned at each other like fools. You couldn’t help but steal a few more kisses from him. “Frankie...I never thought I’d see you again. I can’t believe you’re here.”

“I wasn’t planning on coming,” he admitted sheepishly, looking down at his feet for a moment, “but I heard you were going to be here, and I had to come.”

“For me?” a flush rose into his cheeks as you beamed at him and offered up a shy nod.

“Of course,” he confessed, “why else? I always hoped I’d see you again one day...I never stopped thinking about you. How horribly cliche is that?”

“Well, even if it is, then I suppose that makes the two of us fools,” putting your hand on his cheek, you traced your thumb over his features, “you’d always cross my mind...a lot. Probably more than I should have…”

“Somethings never change, huh?” he laughed light as he led over to an empty bench surrounded by beautiful evening blossoms. You sat next time, watching with nervous intensity as he held your hand in his, “how’ve you been, Bee? Really? Tell me everything.”

“Only if you promise to do the same.”

“Always.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

And it was easy to talk to him; just like it always had been. In some ways, it was like no time had passed at all. With him you never had to think about what to say, or worry about him passing judgment or anything. It just was...and it was a beautiful thing. An odd longing feeling settled into your stomach the more you listened to him, leaning in closer and closer until you were almost in his lap. In some ways you wondered if it had always been him. Like you were both here again for a reason. You liked the idea that everything happened as it was meant to, as the universe willed it.

“But then my wife…” as soon as the words hit your ears, you tilted your head to the side and gave him a confused expression. Wife, wife, wife. Holy shit.

Springing to your feet, your mind was reeling as you imagined all the ways in which you had fucked up, but Frankie was fast on his feet and was still right behind you, calling your name as he tried to catch up, reaching for your hand. Of all the things you had imagined, this wasn’t one of them. Eventually you stopped and turned to face with a wide eyed expression, “what do you mean wife? Frankie, I-I still have a lot of the same feelings I always did, but if you have a wife-”

“Bee, please no,” he shook his head fervently, trying to get you to calm down and calm his own racing heart, “no, no, no, I shouldn’t have said it like that - old habits die hard. I meant ex-wife. We’ve been…we’re divorced, and have been for over a year.”

As if to prove his point, he held up his left hand and showed you that he wasn’t wearing a wedding band. His own eyes flitted awkwardly to our own hand, almost as if to check that you weren’t someone else’s either. Instantly you felt foolish and silly, knowing it had been foolish to explode like that. You should have known better; Frankie would never lie to you, “I-I’m an idiot. I’m so sorry, Frankie. I just...I couldn’t handle the thought of you...well doing anything with someone’s married, or you being married to someone still. Needless to say, my own marriage didn’t end well; he cheated on me with multiple women.”

“I would never put you in that position,” he promised softly, “and I would never do that to anyone. Especially not to you, Honey Bee. If...if you’ll have me, however you want, I promise you I will never lie to you. I never have and never will.”

“Promise?” you looked at him with glossy eyes as your lip trembled, but he just nodded and reached for your hand, pulling you closer to him, “Francisco…”

“Of course,” he replied softly, “so full disclosure - I’m a divorced, single dad - very proud dad of the sassiest and sweetest little girl that is my world. I know that’s a lot, on top of everything else I’ve told you, but that’s...that’s what it is. Who I am. I guess it’s probably not what you were expecting...probably a let down.”

“No,” you promised him quickly, with a big, wide grin, “it’s wonderful. You’re wonderful, Frankie. None of those things are a letdown; you’re perfect. We’ve all got our issues - I’m a divorced, single dog mom that’s considered a failure by so many people because I went to college and ended up doing something completely different, and now run a small coffee shop. It’s not exactly lucrative, but I love it.”

“You always wanted a coffee shop,” he remembered; you’d told him about it more times than you could remember when you were just kids, “your dream came true!”

“It’s even better now,” you insisted softly, “because I’m here - with you. I think...I think it’s the only thing I’ve ever really wanted. Seeing you again, after all this time...it’s still you, Frankie.”

“After all this time?”

“Always.”

“Good,” he beamed at you, “I’m glad the feeling’s mutual. Honey Bee...may I kiss you again?”

“Mhmm.”

“And again and again and again?” you laughed at his playfulness, but underneath it all, you could see there was a serious side to all of this. He was looking at you like you had hung all the stars in the glittering night sky, “if you’ll still have me?”

“Always.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

Permanent Taglist: @secretsweetscollectionblog @sheridans-dynamos @queenbbarnes @persephonesnebula @ah-callie @blushingwueen @thisis-theway @rosetophighlander @rae-gar-targaryen @hiscyarika @readsalot73 @huliabitch @ollyoxenfrees @coffeeandtodd @beepbeepsephy @scarlettwitcher @nerdyknightwritersblog @choicesarcade @arrowswithwifi @everythingaboutnothingstuff @suckerfor-fanfics @bestintheparsec @javihoney @aeryntheofficial @hail-doodles @engineeredfiction @aeryntheofficial @asgardianvamp21 @keithseabrook27 @karmezii @dearspacepirates @thatsuitlooksgoodonyou @paintballkid711 @mrpascals @lv7867 @artsymaddie @gooddaykate @rosiefridayrogersunday @heyitmelexie @criminalmind1927 @justanotherblonde23 @coni-martina @thewayofthemandalorian @phoenixhalliwell @lucifer @cosmoschick @kochamcie @linkpk88 @leaiorganas @nikkixostan @haley-the-comet @chibi-yuki @computeringturtle @4ng3lf43 @intu-witch-tion @wondergal2001 @gingerbreadandpaper @willowtheewisp @milkxxkookies @smollpinkgirl @zukoyonce @boomtownboy @velia27

#frankie morales x reader #frankie morales x fem!reader #frankie morales #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader

218 notes · View notes

scorbleeo · 3 years ago

Text

Goblin | Drama Review

Kim Shin was once an unbeatable general in Goryeo's military who died a tragic death. He now possesses immortality but is tired of living while everyone else around him dies. For 900 years, Kim Shin has searched for his bride, a mortal who can pull out the sword and end his life. One day, he encounters Ji Eun Tak, a positive, upbeat high school student who can see the dead and has gone through tragic events, yet still stays strong. She claims to be the Goblin's bride who can end his immortal life, but what appears to be an easy task, only gets complicated, as the two fall in love.

Source: MyDramaList

What the hell was that ending?

I have never felt such strong negative feelings for a drama finale like I did for Goblin. Claiming that I hated it – feels like an understatement. Calling the ending bad – definitely an understatement. Really, who decided that finale was the right choice to make after all that plot buildup in the last 14/15 episodes? Maybe, if I had just watched Goblin when it first came out five years ago, I might not have been as annoyed as I am right now. Five years and I have not heard a single complain about that finale from anyone I know? I'm starting to doubt what my friends deemed good...

Now, why am I so annoyed with the finale? I spent 14 episodes watching Goblin drown in dilemma regarding his death and his bride only to watch him remain as Goblin but now without any means to die? My question then, was his intention merely to remove that sword instead of actually dying? Because in the first 14 episodes, it looked more like he wanted to die rather than just remove his sword. Although, I am not saying it was possible for him to think he could carry on with his life after his sword was removed because all the Almighty and God kept telling him was he could only die once he found his bride and the bride removes that sword. Nevertheless, I really did not like all that buildup to Goblin's heroic death only for him to come back and live the same way he always did, except now without the sword.

Moreover, I really hated the fact that I genuinely enjoyed all of Goblin and Grim Reaper's bromance only to be disappointed the way I was in the last episode! I don't recall watching Grim Reaper or Sunny drink the tea before leaving so why did they not retain their memories? It's just so, SO confusing; them retaining their memories of Goblin when he "died" and yet not retaining them when they died. Yet on the other hand, Eun Tak forgetting Goblin when he "died" but retaining all her memories after her reincarnation because she never drank the tea. I know, it's not really that "confusing" but it's just so annoying because why? Why do they have to make the storyline so darn complicated?

Lastly (in regards to why this ending pissed me off), was Deok Hwa not essential to the whole storyline of Goblin at all? I loved this character so much I thought he was done so dirty when they practically left him out in the last episode...

Moving on, I never understood how Goblin never realised Grim Reaper was the King's reincarnation? Wang Yeo was a King, became a King at an extremely young age. How were there no records or painting on Wang Yeo? Someone explain, please. Don't tell me that Goblin never knew because he didn't want to find out. He lights a lantern with the King and Queen's names on it every year, he would not have avoided the news on the King.

I would also like to talk about the foreshadowing done in Goblin. Usually, I love foreshadowing when it's done right and honestly, I actually really liked the foreshadowing in Goblin. Unfortunately, the foreshadowing came too early and due to that, very quickly the foreshadowing felt repetitive and overdone. With that being said though, I still appreciate the wonderful job they did with the foreshadowing of Grim Reaper and Sunny's past identities. And the body the Almighty decided to use? That was the only good thing I did not see coming (the rest that I did not see coming? Yeah, let's not go there again).

I am aware I have a lot to complain about Goblin, but I really did enjoy this drama (without the last two episodes). I absolutely loved the bromance Goblin had with Grim Reaper and Deok Hwa, that's why I was so disappointed at what happened with those two in the finale. Whenever there was a scene between Goblin and Grim Reaper or Deok Hwa, I was immediately a 100% focused on the drama. The dynamics were EVERYTHING. (It's probably because Gong Yoo had chemistry with Dong Wook and Sung Jae.)

Also, I have always loved Lee Dong Wook's acting. Everyone in the Goblin cast did great but Lee Dong Wook's acting was on another level. There was that scene when Grim Reaper first met Sunny - unknowingly, Grim Reaper teared up but he still had that classic Grim Reaper blur expression on? I was stunned at how well he pulled off that scene. It seriously gave me chills.

All in all, if not for the bromance scenes and amazing acting from the cast themselves, I might have really hated this drama for the ending they gave me.

Rating: ★★★☆☆

#drama review #goblin #guardian: the lonely and great god #guardian the lonely and great god #korean drama #kim shin #ji eun tak #wang yeo #grim reaper #yoo deok hwa #kim sun #seon hui #sunny #gong yoo #kim go eun #lee dong wook #yook sung jae #yoo in na

23 notes · View notes

rhysismydaddy · 4 years ago

Note

Hey love, I adore ur nessian fics and was wondering if you could bless us with some Cassian being super hurt/sick and nesta taking care of him(fluff + hurt/comfort yknow)?Ooh and nesta giving him a pep talk when he says he feels worthless-bat boi needs some comfort -(nesta bathing cassian scene for bonus points). Thank you so much! hope ur staying safe and healthy!

thank you <3 hope you’re doing well, too

___________________________________________

Nesta leaned a hip against the doorframe of her bedroom, frowning when she found it empty. “Cass?”

No answer.

She still searched the place anyway, since he was bad to play music in his headphones too loud and never hear her. She went to the bathroom, kitchen, living room, and even out the back door of her tiny place, but to no avail.

He wasn’t here.

Which was odd, considering he wasn’t allowed to drive, and he’d been here when she left for work.

She grabbed her phone and called him, but no answer.

Annoyance bloomed as she threw her shoes back on and snatched her keys, then drove the five minutes to his place. By the time she got there, the annoyance had blossomed into full-on irritation, so she didn’t bother knocking, just used the key he’d given her a year ago and marched in.

When she found him in his bedroom, she paused, and all that pent-up anger whooshed right out of her.

Beneath the mass of purple bruises decorating him, he was white as a sheet as he struggled to get his sock off. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, grimacing in pain, but didn’t stop until his hand grabbed his foot.

Nesta rushed over, kneeling in front of him. “Cass, you’re going to pop a stitch. What are you doing? Why’d you leave my place?”

He didn’t say anything, just pushed her hands away when she tried to help.

“Cassian-”

“I’m fine, Nesta,” he snapped, grunting as he ripped the sock off and started on his pants.

“Clearly,” she shot back, standing and crossing her arms.

She’d been taking care of him for almost two weeks, and this was the thanks she got?

He got the sweats off easier, and her heart pinched as the cast over his broken knee was exposed. With brutal efficiency, he wrapped it in the extra-long trash bags they’d bought at the store, then reached for the duct tape.

Noticing it was a little too far away, she grabbed it and handed it to him.

Golden eyes surrounded by black shot to hers, and she took a step back at how angry they were. “Jesus Christ, Nesta, I’m not an invalid. Stop mothering me.”

Taking a shaky breath, she nodded and stepped out of his way as he used his uninjured leg to stand up. She knew it was self-hatred and the anger of being injured, not that he was actually pissed at her, but it still hurt.

She’d known his recovery would be difficult, that it would test their relationship, but it was still a shock to her system to be on the receiving end of his rage.

It was horrible to watch as he used the wall to hobble to the connected bathroom, but she maintained her distance and kept quiet.

But no matter how mad he’d be because of it, she couldn’t stop herself from rushing to him when he started to fall.

Nesta reached him just in time, catching him around the waist and bracing him as he started to tip forwards. But he was over two-hundred pounds of solid muscle, and though she slowed him down, she couldn’t stop him entirely.

Her back slammed into the wall next to the tub, the air getting knocked from her lungs in a harsh breath.

“Goddammit,” he growled, pushing off the wall with one hand and all but throwing himself into the bathtub, somehow managing to keep his wrapped up leg from getting wet. Water sloshed over the sides, but he didn’t seem to care.

Bracing an elbow on the edge, he put his head in his hand and avoided looking at her for a long time.

She could feel the rage inside him building, feel him turn it on himself.

“I’m sorry, Nes,” he murmured a few minutes later, still not looking at her. “Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine,” she assured him, coming over to sit on the space behind his head. She ran her hands through his hair, pulling his head back until his eyes met hers. “I know you hate being injured, but you have to stop being so hard on yourself Let me take care of you.”

“I don’t like you seeing me like this.”

She scoffed. “How many times have you taken care of me?”

Cassian shook her head. “That’s different.”

“No, it isn’t. And it isn’t why you’re so upset.”

She knew there was something else causing him to lash out. He’d been injured before, but he’d never acted like it was anything besides a mild annoyance.

His gaze shuttered, but there was such pain, such emptiness in his eyes. She couldn’t take it.

“Cassian, please talk to me,” she pleaded. “Don’t... don’t shut me out.”

It had taken her forever to open up to him, and she couldn’t stand the feeling that they were moving backwards.

His head dipped forward, and she released his hair with a sigh, letting him go.

She was about to leave, give him some alone time, when he said, “I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”

Her heart started to pound, and his gaze shot to hers like he could hear it. “Work, baby. Not you.”

Nesta nodded but stayed quiet, giving him time to figure out what he wanted to say.

“I don’t know if I can go on another tour, watch men die all around me, get shot and almost die for a cause I don’t believe in.” He looked down. “But I can do it, and I feel like I’d be letting my men down to stop.”

He was in the Marines, and his platoon had hit an IED and been ambushed in enemy territory with no backup. Cassian had fought his ass off to get every member of his unit out alive.

His knee had been broken in the explosion, but he’d gone back for his injured partners, not even stopping when he got shot in the shoulder.

He’d saved six people.

He’d always been driven by duty, by honor, but hated that it was now causing such turmoil inside him.

“Oh, Cass,” she murmured, stroking his curly hair away from his face softly.

“But even if I do quit, I... I don’t know who I am without this, Nes. I’ve been a Marine my whole life; it’s all I am.”

She scowled down at him at that. “Cassian Azara, if you think that’s all you are, you’re the biggest idiot I’ve ever met.”

His mouth opened to answer, but she shouldered on. “You are the most selfless, generous, kind, hilarious, handsome, and intelligent man I’ve ever met. All of those things make you a great Marine, but you’re more than some random military title. And if you don’t want to be a Marine anymore, then quit.”

“But-”

“But nothing. You’ve saved those guys’ asses more times than I can count, and while no one will ever be as good of a leader, someone will step up. You’ve done six tours; no one would blame you for choosing yourself. Do what you want, not what you think you need to.”

“It’s all I know how to do,” he murmurs, looking away from her, but not before she caught the shame in his eyes.

“No, it’s all you’ve done.”

“What do you mean?”

She put a palm on his cheek, and he leaned into the touch. “You enlisted when you were eighteen. You’ve never done anything besides be in the military. But that doesn’t mean it’s all you could do. You could do a million things”

Some of that darkness left his eyes as he looked up at her. “Like what?”

Nesta shook her head incredulously. “Just with your training alone, you could be a personal trainer, teach self-defense classes, or fight professionally. You graduated at the top of your class; you could go to college and study anything you want. You could be a mechanic like you were in high school. You could fly a rocket to the fucking moon.”

Cassian’s lips twitched. “I don’t know about that one.”

“I do. NASA would be lucky to have you.” He didn’t look quite convinced about the point she was making, so she said, “Baby, with your personality and that face, you could sell car insurance to the Amish.”

He laughed in surprise, and the sound soothed the ache in her chest.

She pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “And with how fucking stubborn you are, you’ll be the best at whatever you choose. You can do anything you want. Now say it.”

He looked down at his broken knee and muttered, “I can do anything I want.”

Nesta pursed her lips. “Now say it like you mean it.”

His eyes rolled back up to hers in amusement, even as he said confidently, “I can do anything I want.”

She smiled and leaned down to kiss him. “Yes, you can. And whenever you need reminding of it, just tell me.”

“I love you,” he said against her lips, making her smile. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“Yes, I am,” she agreed, still grinning. “Now shut up and hand me the shampoo. You smell worse than you look.”

He threw his head back and howled with laughter, then splashed her and handed her the shampoo. She worked some of it into his hair, the froth slick beneath her hands, and moved his head to lie against the edge of the tub.

Nesta kissed his brow, knowing that whatever they went through, they’d do it together. “I love you, too, Cassian.”

110 notes · View notes

high-functioning-lokipath · 4 years ago

Text

SH - John Watson x Reader - Better Late Than Never - Words: 2,679

A/N: This was the prompt: Reader went to med school with John, she liked him but never told him so. John gets deployed and they lose contact. A few years later they meet again because of a case.

"C'mon, Y/N," John laughed. "If you don't study for the test tomorrow, I won't give you the ice cream I bought!"

"Is it Death By Chocolate?" You replied, raising your head only slightly from it's spot on the floor.

"Maybe," He replied with a smirk. The two of you were in your dorm, trying to study for the quarter finals. You were in your 6th and final year of med school. You'd met about halfway through your 2nd year and had instantly become close friends. Small displays of affection were normal between the two of you, the type that best friends would share without giving a second thought. John didn't have a clue, but you had developed quite the crush on him. You never told him, though, for fear of messing up the one good friendship you had.

"John!" You groaned, dramatically sprawling out further on the carpet. "I think my brain has died." You had been trying to remember everything you'd studied and were coming up blank.

"Hm, I'm studying to be a doctor, not a coroner, but I would say time of death was somewhere between 6 years ago and now," He teased, leaning over you from his nearby perch on your futon. Pretending to be mad, you threw your foot up and kicked his leg.

"You git!" You exclaimed with a grin.

"Oi!" He replied, dramatically tumbling to the floor next to you. You both lost yourselves in a fit of giggles. You stopped laughing and just stared at him when your brain caught up with your eyes and you had one of your "moments". He looked so happy lying there next to you, laughing his head off. His hair was a mess, his jumper had gotten abit twisted and was creeping up his torso, and his eyes were bright with tears of laughter. "You ok, Y/N?" He asked when he noticed you had stopped laughing.

"Yeah, just thinking," You replied quickly.

"Ok, as long as it's nothing serious," He said. "Really, if anything is bothering you, you can talk to me. You've been zoning out more often recently so," He looked away, a bit embarrassed. "I was worried."

"I'm fine, John," You replied, not having the guts to tell him what was really on your mind.

About a year later, only 3 months after graduation, John called you. You still kept in touch, although you lived in different cities now, and your feelings hadn't changed. John had dated a few different girls but nothing ever worked out. You, though? You had gone on one date but left halfway through when the guy wouldn't shut up about himself and asked if you were splitting the check. John had told you he had applied at a small clinic near his apartment so you assumed his call was to update you on that. "Hey!" You said, picking up immediately.

"Uh, hey, Y/N," He said, sounding fairly upset. "Look, I," He sighed. "You remember that I enlisted a few months ago?"

"Yes," You replied, a lump forming in your throat.

"I've just gotten my deployment letter. They're sending me to Afghanistan. I leave this Friday." Silent tears streamed down your face and you found yourself unable to reply. "Y/N? Are you still there?" He asked.

"Yeah," You choked out. "Yeah, I'm still here, John. I, well, I guess I should wish you well then." You pinched the bridge of your nose and breathed deeply, trying to get ahold of yourself.

"Look, I know you're not a fan of the military but can't you at least congratulate me? This is something I wanted after all."

"Is it? Is it really?" You nearly yelled. "You didn't sound all that cheery two minutes ago when I picked up the phone! Besides, how could I congratulate you when all I can see is you getting blown to bits out there!"

"Sorry," He replied immediately. "That, that wasn't fair of me to ask." You both were silent for a moment before John spoke up again. "I'll write."

"Not with that handwriting you won't, " You replied, falling back into your regular banter.

"I'll try to make it legible for you," He promised. You nodded, though he couldn't see you, and started crying again.

"Alright," You said. "Can I drive over Friday and see you off?"

"Best not," He said. "I think it's better for both of us, yeah?" You reluctantly agreed. The two of you chatted for a few more minutes before saying goodbye. Shaking off the foreboding feeling that had settled on you, you continued with your day and started planning your first letter to him.

The first few weeks went well, his letters arriving regularly on Friday's without fail. Then one week it came on Monday instead, the next on Wednesday, and soon two weeks passed without a letter. When you finally received it, he said that they had gotten to a point where it was getting harder and harder to safely send a receive mail. He asked for you to stop all letters and promised to find you again when, or if, he got home. That night you wrote him one final letter but, of course, never sent it. You were determined to move on with life now but you promised yourself to never forget him.

"Good morning, Molly," You said walking into the hospital with her. You'd moved to London and gotten a job at St. Bart's, working in the outpatient clinic. A few weeks after starting there, you'd met Molly while on break. You exchanged numbers and started meeting in the cafeteria if you both had breaks at the same time. In time you met Sherlock. What an experience that had been. He immediately deduced which department you worked in, how long you'd been there, where you went to college, when you went to college and he even figured out that you'd been in love with someone in uni and never got over them. Needless to say, you were impressed. Ever since then he texted you occasionally for confirmation on medical related hypotheses.

"Good morning, Y/N," Molly replied.

"Have you heard from Sherlock recently? I haven't gotten any texts from him in the past few weeks." Molly chuckled and nodded.

"I've heard from him. He has a new flatmate. A doctor too!"

"Wow!" You replied. "Good for him! Let me know next time he comes by so I can meet him. I'd like to know who my replacement is," You teased. Molly giggled and you continued chatting as you walked over to the elevator. As the doors were about to close, you heard someone yell.

"Hold the lift!" You slammed the open doors button and Sherlock ran in. He nodded at you and you let go of the button. The doors started to slide closed again when another person called out.

"Sherlock!" You froze hearing that voice. You tried to get the doors in time but missed.

"Y/N?" Molly asked, worriedly. "Are you ok? You look like you've seen a ghost!" You nodded and leaned on the wall, trying to get yourself together. You decided to ride up to Molly's floor and see if Sherlock's friend came up on the next lift. Sherlock kept staring at you, confused, while you sat there waiting. A few minutes later, he came storming in the door.

"Sherlock! What were you thinking? Why didn't you hold the lift for me? I had to wait for the next one which happened to-"

"John," You gasped, amazed that it actually was him standing in front of you. "John!" You exclaimed, jumping up and running over.

"Y/N!" He replied, a grin spreading on his face. His smile faltered quickly though. "I," He said. "I need to be going. I forgot I had an appointment. Yeah. That's it. I'll see you at the flat, Sherlock." John quickly limped out the door and off to the elevator.

"He's the one, isn't he?" Sherlock said after a few moments. You nodded sadly.

"Why'd he run off like that?" You asked.

"Well it's obvious he didn't have an appointment. That leaves two possible reasons for his lying. One he could be-"

"Oh shut up, Sherlock!" You cried. "I know why he left. I-" You cut yourself off, choking back a sob. "Just sod it all! I need to go to work. I'll see you at lunch, Molly." You ran off, down the hall and to the elevator.

"Molly, I know that look in your eyes," Sherlock said once you'd left. "What are you planning?"

"The perfect set up. Now help me-"

"Molly," Sherlock interrupted her. "I may not understand a lot of things related to the topic of human relationships but I can tell you this, if either of us were to get involved, we may be maimed." Molly nodded in agreement.

Weeks went by and you worked harder than ever, taking extra shifts whenever you could. Your boss finally told you to take a week off to recharge. After much arguing, you relented and headed home for a week. Being alone all day, however, left your mind wandering. Thinking back to what might have been. To occupy your time, you decided to catch up with one of your good friends who lived nearby. You hadn't had the chance to hang out in some weeks but you texted each other every day. When you didn't hear from her yesterday, you worried but figured she probably was just tired. "Maybe she'll have some good advice for me," You told yourself. Knocking at her door, you checked your phone again to see if she had replied yet. Now you were really worried. You grabbed your spare key to her apartment and went in.

"What do you want?" Sherlock said, answering his phone.

"Sherlock, it-it's Y/N. Can you," You paused, taking a shaky breath. "Can you come down here please? I need your help. Lestrade's already on his way."

"On my way," He replied, grabbing his coat and scarf. "What happened?" As you explained to him everything, he grabbed John's coat and tossed it to him. John was mildly confused of course, but went along.

"I went in and found her in the bathroom," You told him. "I'm probably missing something obvious. I'm sorry," You cried.

"No, you're doing fine," Sherlock said genuinely. John looked at him surprised as they got into the cab, still not aware of who was on the other end of the call. "We'll be there in 7 minutes."

"We?" You asked. But Sherlock hung up before he answered.

"Y/N?" Greg said, coming up behind you. "I hate to say this but, we're going to need a statement. Do you want to wait till Sherlock gets here?"

"No, it's alright. Let's get it over with." A few minutes later, you'd told Greg everything you knew and he'd gone inside with the others to investigate. A cab pulled up and Sherlock rushed out. "Sherlock!" You exclaimed running up to him. As you approached, you saw another person getting out of the cab. "Why did you bring him?" You hissed.

"He's my assistant, flatmate and, if I have deduced correctly, a friend of both of us," Sherlock said.

"Look, that was years ago, I don't even know if-" You started whisper-yelling. You got cut off though when John walked up. You noticed he was limping again.

"John," Sherlock said. "I believe you're acquainted with Y/N. You're much better with people than I am," He stated briefly before going into the apartment.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry," John said once Sherlock left. You nodded, sitting down on a nearby bench before your legs gave way from exhaustion.

"She was a good friend of mine. I don't know what could have happened." John was quiet as he sat down next to you.

"Sherlock will figure it out. If anyone can, it's him," He finally said.

"That is for certain," You replied with a dry chuckle. "So how did you meet Sherlock?"

"Oh, well, you remember Mike Stamford?"

"From uni? Yeah, I remember him."

"Well, he introduced me to Sherlock. We were both in need of a flatmate and he matched us up." John paused for a moment, brows furrowed. "That sounds much too much like a bad dating ad. Mike got us together."

"Nope, that's worse," You replied chuckling.

"You understand."

"I think so," You finally replied. "So," You paused. You were so desperate to ask him more but you weren't sure if this was the best time. "Oh, well, nevermind. Glad that worked out." You quieted again, staring off down the street. John looked at you for a moment before clearing his throat.

"Right, yes. So, what have you been up to?"

"Work. I got a job at St. Bart's about 2 years ago. That's how I met Molly and therefore Sherlock." You were silent for a moment before adding one more thing. "I've missed you, John."

"I've missed you too," He admitted. "I'm sorry I didn't write or call when I got back. I-" He sighed and absently rubbed at his leg. "I couldn't. I was scared, if I'm being honest."

"Why? What happened?"

"You know we got sent into a very dangerous area. That's why I had to stop writing to begin with. But then, well, I got shot."

"Your leg?" You asked since he had been limping and rubbing at it.

"Ah, shoulder actually. The limp is psychosomatic. It comes and goes when I'm particularly worried or upset."

"Oh, I'm sorry," You said, not completely sure of what to say.

"I've been back in London for about a year. I looked you up actually. I found out you were working at Bart's. That's why I ran into Mike that day. I was in a park nearby, trying to work up the nerve to go and see you."

"Why didn't you?" You asked. He looked away, embarrassed. "Sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"No, it's ok. I should be honest." He ran a hand through his hair and chuckled nervously. "I was afraid of what you'd think of me. I didn't come back as some 'war hero'. I'm a washed up medic who can't even walk correctly."

"It's psychosomatic, right?" You asked, tilting your head slightly.

"Sherlock says so."

Well then, you have nothing to fear." He looked at you questioningly. "You know I never cared about the military so I could honestly care less if you came back known as some 'war hero' or not. You're not washed up, just look at you! Out here solving mysteries with the world's only Consulting Detective, Sherlock Holmes! And you can too walk right! You're just too scared to."

"I'm not so sure-" You interrupted him by leaning over and planting a kiss on his lips. Pulling away with a giggle you got up and ran a few feet away.

"You'll have to come here to get another!"

"Oh, you devil," He grinned. He got up and walked over to you quickly, picking you up, spinning you around and giving you another kiss. You laughed happily and leaned on his shoulder.

"See? You did just fine!"

"I suppose I did, didn't I?" He chuckled.

"Oh, John," You giggled. "I should have told you a long time ago. I love you, John Watson." He smiled from ear to ear.

"I love you too, Y/N L/N. But a crime scene isn't really the best place to do this at."

"Why not? We giggle at murders all the time?" Sherlock suddenly butted in.

"How long have you been standing there?" John yelled.

"Well," Greg suddenly said, a few feet away and holding up his phone. "This video is already 4 minutes long, so," He trailed off.

"John," You said, not taking your eyes off the two other men.

"Yes, love?" He asked as you reached for his hand.

"Let's get 'em." You then spent the rest of the afternoon chasing Sherlock and Greg around the neighborhood, enjoying their girly shrieks, until Mycroft showed up and put a stop to it. Later that evening, you and John were enjoying some Chinese takeaway back at your apartment.

"I really can't apologize enough for leaving you in the dark, Y/N," John said. "I should have written," He chided himself.

"It's alright, John," You assured him. "Actually, you just reminded me of something. Wait here a moment." You ran off to your room and pulled an envelope out of a small box in your desk. You returned to the living room and held it out to John. "This is for you. It was my last letter but," You paused, blushing lightly. "I never mailed it."

My Dear Captain Watson,

I hope you're doing well. I hope you're staying safe and helping as many as you can. I hope -

Oh what am I writing. John, there's something you should know and I wish I could tell you in person but better now than never I suppose.

I love you.

There. Feel free to never write me back again or return this with a 'Dear John' letter. Well, you know what I mean. I wish I could have said it better or sooner but I was scared to lose your friendship. Now I'm more scared of actually losing you.

John, please return safely. Even if we never speak again. The world should not be without John Watson.

All my love,

Y/N

"Y/N," John said, tears in his eyes after reading your letter. "Why didn't you send it?"

"Well, you had asked me not to write anymore since it was dangerous and," You paused, shaking your head sadly. "I chickened out again."

"Well, I guess what they say is true then." You looked at him quizzically as he pulled you close to him and leaned his forehead on yours. "Better late than never."

Sherlock BBC Taglist

@lucywrites02

@delightfulheartdream

@bartv21

@another-crazy-fangirl

@ladylulu143

@gaitwae

#sherlock bbc #sherlock #john watson x reader #john watson #sherlock imagine #sherlock fanfic

61 notes · View notes

randomestfandoms-ocs · 4 years ago

Text

Marvel OC Masterlist 1

Name: Adelaide Stark

Title: Beyond The Archetype

Faceclaim: Jenna Louise Coleman

Love interest: Sam Wilson

Summary: Adelaide Stark had always had a lot to live up to. Her dad always tried not to put a lot of pressure on her, but the rest of the world hadn’t been so kind. So, Adi spent the first seventeen years of her life working and studying to follow in her family’s footsteps and work on military technology. But when her father goes missing in her senior year of high school, her world falls apart. And when he comes back, alive and a superhero, she has to rebuild herself and her dreams. Now, not only Tony Stark’s daughter, but also Iron Man’s daughter, Adi realizes that maybe it’s time for her to stop following, and to do something for herself instead.

Name: Adonis Stark

Title: Stars Defied

Faceclaim: Colin Donnell

Love Interest: Orion Royce

Name: чудо | Adriana Stark

Title: Like The Sun (We Will Live To Rise)

Faceclaim: Madison McLaughlin

Love interest: Peter Parker?

Name: Alana Stark

Title: Born To Die

Faceclaim: Madison Davenport

Name: Alena Zemo

Title: Untitled

Faceclaim: Poppy Drayton

Love Interest: Sam Wilson & Bucky Barnes

Name: Alessia Stark

Title: When Tomorrow Comes

Faceclaim: Melissa Benoist

Love Interest: Steve Rogers

Summary: “So this Doctor Banner was was trying to replicate the serum they used on me?” “A lot of people were, only one succeeded.” “Who?” “Howard Stark.” -Steve Rogers and Phil Coulson

When Alessia Stark was sixteen, her dad used her to test out a new super serum. He succeeded, and died a week later. Aly Stark has never wanted to be a hero, despite the serum running through her veins. She grew stronger, her aging slowed, she had even developed an inhuman healing factor, but she still didn’t want to be a hero. Until her twin brother - now over a decade older than her - is kidnapped by terroists and returns a superhero. Aly may not want to be a hero, but she’ll be damned if she leaves her brother to fight alone

Name: Alvina Strange

Title: Paradox

Faceclaim: Alba Baptista

Name: Angelina Stark

Title: Cheap Tricks (And A Cheesy One-Liner)

Faceclaim: Phoebe Tonkin

Name: Angie Stark

Title: Turn Back Time

Faceclaim: Malina Weissman

Name: Antonia Stark-Parker

Title: The Final Countdown

Faceclaim: Olivia Holt

Summary: Years after the final battle against Thanos; after Tony and Natasha died and Steve stayed in the past, after Bruce became Professor Hulk and Clint retired again, their daughters are all grown up with children of their own. In their defence, they didn’t realize that their parents’ time fuckery and infinity stone usage would pass onto the newest generation, leaving them with six superpowered girls, each with the power of an Infinity Stone. And they certainly never expected the girls, the self proclaimed New Avengers, to decide to fix the mistakes that their grandparents made, starting back at the very beginning, with the Battle of Manhattan. And no, you can’t ask about their dad, thank you.

Name: Anya Barton

Title: What Happened In Budapest (Doesn’t Stay In Budapest)

Faceclaim: Emma Stone

Love interest: Bucky Barnes

Summary: What happened in Budapest? Clint and Natasha took out an arms dealer, saved the world, had a baby, learned that the Red Room lied about sterilizing Natasha, and killed a few people. Now all grown up, Anya Barton is the newest SHIELD recruit, and almost immediately, aliens invade and a god brainwashes her father; that’s a hell of a first day. But Anya is the daughter of two of the greatest spies in the world, she’s not going down without a fight. Not when aliens invade, not when SHIELD is revealed to be Hydra and she has to go off the grid, and definitely not when, in Budapest of all places, she meets a man with a metal arm who’s also trying to hide from whatever is left of Hydra.

Name: Aphrodite

Title: The Course of True Love (Never Did Run Smooth)

Faceclaim: Vanessa Morgan

Love interest: Thor

Summary: Aphrodite could barely remember her home planet of Olympus, thanks to Odin destroying it when she was a child. As the sole survivor of the Olympian gods, Odin decided that she was “useful” enough to keep, and brought her to Asgard. Clearly he’d never considered the consequences of murdering her entire world and taking her hostage, as he somehow still expected her to be loyal to her. Unfortunately for Odin, that plan was as stupid as the rest of his ideas; Aphrodite had never been loyal to him, her loyalty had always been to the next king of Asgard, and when he sends Thor to earth, he’ll learn just how far a goddess of love is willing to go to make sure he doesn’t cost her another family.

Name: Aria Parker

Title: The Art of Disappearing

Faceclaim: Natalie Dormer

Love interest: Steve Rogers

Summary: Peter Parker was hardly the first enhanced Parker. His aunt Aria had been born with the ability to control the elements. At eighteen years of age, she dropped off the face of the earth, and no one, not even her cousins Ben and Richard, had any idea where she’d gone. Most people thought she was dead, until ten years later when she helped Clint Barton find his dog in Central Park, and somehow befriending he and Natasha Romanov. Even then, though, most of the world didn’t know who or where she was; not until Shield fell apart and Natasha found herself reaching out to the only person she trusted who had no affiliation with Shield or Hydra.

Name: Arielle Stark

Title: Piece By Piece

Faceclaim: Nina Dobrev

Love Interest: Steve Rogers

Name: Aris Stark

Title: Forged In Iron

Faceclaim: Olivia Holt

Love Interest: Peter Parker

Summary: All Aris Stark wanted to do was train for the Olympics - gymnastics, specifically - and go on dates with Peter. Of course, being Iron Man’s daughter and Spiderman’s girlfriends complicated things, but Aris could handle complicated. Everything was perfect, until both her dad and boyfriend hopped on a ship to outer space while some crazy alien tried to destroy the universe. She waited in the compound, preparing all of the ways that she would yell at them for scaring her. And then she woke up, the compound on fire and crumbling around her, Tony and Peter nowhere to be found. And if that weren’t confusing enough, suddenly she was glowing.

Name: Asteria “Stargirl” Quill

Story: Made Of Stardust

Faceclaim: Chloe Grace Moretz

Summary: If Peter Quill had known that some species didn’t have gestation periods, he might have been a lot more selective about who he slept with. But, he hadn’t, and so, he wasn’t. And so, he found himself with an infant daughter. Half alien, all ravager, Asteria “Stargirl” Quill is all about profit and adventure, just like her dad. But when a fight breaks out during a sale, and she and her dad get arrested with a green girl, a racoon, and a tree, everything is about to change.

Name: Athena Stark

Title: Iron Princess

Faceclaim: Zoey Deutch

Love Interest: Peter Parker

Summary: Athena Stark had a plan. She was going to be the valedictorian for her grade at Midtown High, then an undergrad in Poli Sci at Yale, then law school at Harvard, and then she would become president of the United States. She would change the laws in order to better protect superheroes like her father, and she would make him proud. But then her dad brings Spiderman to Berlin for a fight, and Peter Parker comes back talking about a Stark Internship that definitely doesn’t exist. Athena’s life plan never accounted for Superhero Liaison, let alone for becoming a superhero herself, but Starks are made of iron and Athena will make it work.

Name: Aurora Hansen Stark

Title: The Future In Silver and Gold

Faceclaim: Bailee Madison

Love Interest: Peter Parker

Summary: “Please don’t tell me there’s a 12 year old kid waiting in the car that I’ve never met.“ Actually, she’s thirteen and at home, but with Killian having killed her mother, Aurora Stark is about to find out the truth about her mysterious father. Unfortunately, as unprepared as Tony is for a daughter, Aurora is equally unprepared for a father, and getting used to each other will be harder than either of them could have ever anticipated.

Name: Octavia Ava Potts

Story: Golden Child (Grew Up)

Faceclaim: Danielle Rose Russell

Love Interest: Peter Parker

Summary: A lot had changed for Ava, since her father died. She had moved in with her Aunt Pepper and Tony; aliens had invaded New York, they had moved to Malibu, she had gotten kidnapped, they — well, you get the picture. A lot had changed for Ava over the years, but as she settled into her life at Midtown High, she thought that the craziest of changes were in her past. And then the Avengers break up, and she discovers that one of her closest friends is hiding a secret not too different from her own.

Name: Bennett Parker-Maximoff

Title: The Final Countdown

Faceclaim: Danielle Campbell

Name: Betsy Walker

Title: Chasing Shadows

Faceclaim: Amanda Seyfried

Love Interest: Sam Wilson & Bucky Barnes

Name: Bianca Davis

Title: The American Dream

Faceclaim: Kat McNamara

Love interest: Steve Rogers

Summary: Being 26, in Washington DC, and working at the Smithsonian Museum of Air and Space wasn’t exactly where Bianca ever imagined herself, but it’s a pretty fun gig, and a great stepping stone to becoming a Smithsonian Curator. And she gets to work in the Captain America exhibit, which has always been a fascination of hers. Twenty six and working a good job in her field of studies is more than most recent graduates can say, but her life is still completely mundane–until the day Steve Rogers walks into her exhibit for the first time.

Name: Brinley Brant

Title: Because I Could Not Stop For Death (He Kindly Stopped For Me)

Faceclaim: Lili Reinhart

Love Interest: Peter Parker

Summary: There had been four Brant sisters, once. Beatrice and Bridget, twins and completely inseparable; Betty, the oldest, brightest, best; and Brinley, the middle child, overlooked, and Betty’s biggest fan. And then, the decimation. Three sisters and their father waiting by the door for Betty to come home, to tell them she was alright and laugh about them worrying. But she never did. With a dead sister and a dying mother, it fell to Brinley to fill the gap. Day by day she became more and more like her sister, no longer able to differentiate between her reflection and Betty’s pictures, until one day she woke up and realized that she was a whole year older than Betty would ever get to be. And then the Avengers reversed the blip, and when the doorbell rang, Betty had finally come home.

Name: Brynhilde Parkerdottir

Title: The Final Countdown

Faceclaim: Jenny Boyd

Name: Brynn Bates

Title: Dust To Dust

Faceclaim: Erin Moriarty

Name: Calypso Lokidottir

Title: This Is Your Kingdom

Faceclaim: Emilia Clarke

Love Interest: Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes

Summary: Calypso “Callie” Laurens had always known that she wasn’t normal, no one had ever tried to spare her from that truth. With her silver-white hair, her fondness for “renaissance fair” dresses, and her Shakespearean speech, it would have been impossible for her to not know that she was strange. What she didn’t know was that her name wasn’t Calypso Laurens, but rather Calypso Lokidottir, princess of Asgard and daughter of Loki. But, when a strange hammer shows up in her town, one that only she can lift, Calypso is about to learn everything that Odin never wanted her to know, including why she was cast away to Midgard in the first place.

Name: Constance Osborn

Title: Rise Above

Fandom: The Amazing Spider-Man

Faceclaim: Lily Collins

Summary: At five years old, Constance Conwell lost her mother. Suicide, she was told; her fault, the note said. She never knew the details, but the men in the suits read her the note, made sure she knew just how much her mother had hated her — so much that she chose death over her daughter. It hadn’t made sense, her mother had always seemed so happy to spend time with her daughter, but the note said otherwise. So Constance was packed up and moved to New York, where she met Norman Osborn — the cold man with empty eyes who was apparently her father — and Harry Osborn — with his warm hugs and soft eyes and endless excitement to have a little sister. Harry, with his best friend Peter; Peter who had also just lost his parents, and Harry, who always knew when she needed to be distracted and when she just needed someone to sit with her. At five years old, Constance Conwell lost her mother, and Constance Osborn found her brother.

At eleven years old, Constance Osborn lost her best friend. Boarding school, her father had explained, packing Constance and Harry into the private jet and sending them to Europe. But they both knew the truth; Norman just didn’t want them. So they went — first to England, then France, then Switzerland, and so on so forth as various disciplinary infractions kept them shuffling between schools. With no Peter Parker, with no best friend to keep them in line, the Osborns fell apart faster than the tabloids could keep up with. At eleven years old, Constance Osborn lost her best friend. She never found another.

At sixteen years old, Constance Osborn loses herself. Only a few months out from graduation, her dad asks to see her — the first time he’s asked to see her since she moved in — and she flies back to New York for a couple of weeks. But whatever cautious optimism she’d harboured for a touching family reunion was crushed almost as soon as she saw what she’d come home to. A city on the verge of destruction, a father who was losing what little was left of his sanity, a world of heroes and villains that left no one unscarred. At sixteen years old, Constance Osborn loses herself. She’s not sure who she found.

Name: Cora Royce

Title: Stars Defied

Faceclaim: Willa Holland

Love Interest: Sam Wilson; eventual poly Sam x Bucky in TFATWS

Summary: In 2011, Cora Royce’s parents went to New Mexico for a week’s holiday; some aliens invaded, and they never made it home. In 2012, the same aliens invade, and Cora almost loses her brother. When Orion insists on taking her to work with him “for her safety”, Cora expects a boring day at the main office of the family company, she doesn’t expect to find out that her brother has a second life as a spy-archer-assassin for a top secret government agency founded by Cora’s personal hero, Peggy Carter herself. She also doesn’t expect to find out that her parents were part of the agency themselves, and that their holiday in New Mexico was part of a mission to stop the very alien-god who killed them. And she definitely didn’t expect to find herself on an invisible flying battleship with her pseudo-uncle Tony Stark — sorry, Iron Man — and an apparently not-dead Captain America.

Cora is under strict orders from Orion to stay in the lab where Tony can protect her, but when everything goes to shit, Cora can’t just stay on the sidelines. She may not be a superhero, but she’s Royce, and there is nothing that could stop her from protecting the last of her family.

Name: Cordelia

Title: I Was In The Darkness (So Darkness I Became)

Face claim: Alycia Debnam-Carey

Name: Courtney Lang

Title: The Cost Of Legacy

Faceclaim: Willa Fitzgerald

Summary: Courtney Lang loved her dad, she really did. Sure, he did some illegal business and was in jail for a while, but hey, nobody’s perfect. But when he got back from jail, everything changed. He was keeping secrets, avoiding her, lying to her, but it all made sense when she learned that he was actually a superhero. But then he went rogue, got put under house arrest, and broke said house arrest with less than a day until his time was up. Still, she could handle all of that, until half of all living things disappeared, and her father along with them.

Name: Danni Stark

Title: Fated

Faceclaim: Lily Collins

Love Interest: Steve Rogers, possibly poly Stucky

Summary: 1942. The United States Of America has finally joined the war. Danielle Stark becomes a war correspondent and, with some help from her older brother, becomes the official liaison to the Howling Commandos. As the history books will tell, Danni and Peggy Carter were as inseparable behind the scenes as Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes were on the battlefield. And as the history books won’t tell, Danni Stark fell in love on the front lines, with both Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. And then, Bucky fell from a train and Steve crashed his plane, and Danni found herself alone.

1945. The war is over. Everyone goes home. Unsure of what to do with herself, Danni ends up in New York, helping Peggy and Howard to found SHIELD. For several years, Danni juggles her work as a reporter with her secret life as a SHIELD agent, until Howard finds something in the arctic. With the new powers of the tesseract at his fingertips, Howard finally decides to try a new version of Project Rebirth, and Danni is the first to offer herself as a volunteer. But as soon as he sees the powers that the cube gave his sister, Howard files the project away, destroying all evidence that it had ever happened, and Danni keeps her newly developed powers a secret from everyone except for Howard, Peggy, and Edwin Jarvis.

2012. A new war brews on the horizon. Danni has been off the grid for decades — after all, she’s hardly eager to explain why she still looks twenty-five rather than ninety-five. As far as most of the world knows, she died shortly after her brother; quietly and peacefully, a very private affair. The only person who still knows she’s alive is her nephew, Tony Stark, with whom she is in regular contact. But even Tony has never tried to convince her to come out of the shadows — not until he shakes her entire world with a single line on a voicemail; “Steve is alive, he’s at SHIELD.” And Danni Stark knows that it’s time to return to the world she’d long since left behind.

Name: Diana Moore

Title: The Long Game

Faceclaim: Hailee Steinfeld

Love interest: Peter Parker

Summary: You would have to be an idiot to not realize that Peter Parker is Spiderman. Well, Diana might go to a school for geniuses, but clearly they’re all idiots because no one else seems to have figured it out. Well, that’s fine, that makes it easier to keep the whole Secret Identity Thing a secret. And if there’s one thing that Diana Moore is good at, it’s keeping a secret - or it was, until she and the rest of her Acadec team nearly die in DC. Now it’s personal, and whether he likes it or not, Diana is going to do whatever it takes to help Peter Parker save the world.

Name: Dominique Barton

Title: Life Goes On

Faceclaim: Emily Rudd

Love Interest: Peter Parker

Name: Dorothy Madison

Title: Somewhere Over The Rainbow

Faceclaim: Keira Knightley

Love Interest: Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes

Summary: Dorothy Madison, Bucky Barnes, and Steve Rogers had been inseparable for most of their lives. Four years her senior, the boys had already been best friends for years before they met the small girl on her first day of kindergarten and immediately got into a fight with her first bully. From then on it was much of the same; Steve getting into fights, Bucky either joining him or pulling him out, and Dorothy keeping them out of trouble.

The years passed quickly, and she found herself falling in love with both of her best friends. But before she figured out what to do about that, the war made its way to their door. Bucky got drafted and, during their last night together, Steve got himself enlisted.

Well, no way was Dorothy letting her boys go to war without her. She quickly found a place for herself within the Office of Strategic Services, and soon found herself put in charge of the Howling Commandos. Finally, everything was right again; Steve was rushing head first into danger with Bucky as his right hand, and Dorothy struggling to keep her boys alive.

Name: Eir Odinsdottir

Title: See No Evil

Faceclaim: Maisie Williams

Summary: Once, Eir Odinsdottir had been the princess of Asgard; Odin’s youngest child, and only daughter, and beloved by her brothers and their kingdom. But Eir was also a seer. She could see things that had happened, things that were happening, and things that had not yet happened. And one day, she saw the truth about her family: the older sister long since cast away, the secret behind her brother’s parentage, and the dark and bloody truth behind her father’s reign. And so, Odin exiled her. Eir spent years travelling the nine realms, longing for home, before finally seeing her brothers on Midgard, so to Midgard she goes.

Name: Elena Barnes

Title: Balancing The Score

Faceclaim: Kaya Scodelario

Summary: Imagine a weapon who has all the skills of the Asset, but without the memories. No need to wipe and start over, no questions, only loyalty to Hydra. Enter Elena Barnes. Bred by Hydra to serve that purpose, they truly believed that they had created the perfect weapon. But, compliant as she seemed, Elena watched the torture that her father suffered, and anger lived within her veins. After the Battle of Manhattan, she finds herself out in the world with instructions to bring back Loki’s staff, but instead, she disappears. Goes off the grid and dedicates herself to learning the truth about herself and her father, until one day she’s at a museum and meets the one person who can truly answer all of her questions.

Name: Elia Patel

Title: Eclipsed Sun

Faceclaim: Summer Bishil

Love Interest: Tony Stark

Name: Elizabeth Banner-Parker

Title: The Final Countdown

Faceclaim: Natalia Dyer

Name: Elizabeth Barton

Title: Walking The Tightrope

Faceclaim: Emma Watson

Love Interest: Tony Stark

Summary: Elizabeth Barton has been working for SHIELD since she was sixteen; since she and her big brother had been recruited out of the circus. No mission ever phased the ex tightrope walker, nothing ever compared to the thrill and danger of walking on a wire, over 20 feet in the air. Even her elite task force with Clint and Natasha - Silver Swan, Hawkeye, and Black Widow - paled in comparison. But then Tony Stark becomes Iron Man, Liz is assigned to get to know the man behind the mask, and suddenly she feels like she’s sixteen and walking the tightrope again.

Name: Eleanor “Ellie” Coulson

Title: Reinvention

Faceclaim: Sabrina Carpenter

Love interest: Peter Parker

Summary: There are some facts in life that are simply unavoidable. “If your father is one of SHIELD’s top agents, and your mother is out of the picture, you will be raised as a SHIELD agent from before you can walk” is one of them. Eleanor Coulson has spent her entire life as an agent in training, and she happens to be very good at it. But when SHIELD is revealed to be Hydra, and her dad is charged with rebuilding the entire organization, Ellie is faced with her most challenging mission yet. High school.

Name: Elsie Carter

Title: Travelling Soldier

Faceclaim: Daisy Ridley

Love Interest: Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes

Summary: Even before her sister joined the army, Eloise Carter knew that she was always going to be second best. Still, that wasn’t going to stop her from helping in the war herself - so Elsie became a nurse. She loved her job, despite the heartbreak that came with every life she failed to save, but she couldn’t have been less thrilled to suddenly find herself assigned to her sister’s troops. At least until she was put in charge of the recently rescued James Barnes. She soon learned that James was never without Steve Rogers, Captain America himself, and suddenly her transfer seemed a little less awful. But they were soldiers, and Elsie couldn’t do anything more than wait for them to return from every fight, praying each time that they would make it back.

Name: Erna Bragidottir

Title: Speak No Evil

Faceclaim: Gal Gadot

Love interest: Thor & Steve Rogers

Summary: When Hela massacred the Valkyrie, only two survived; Brunhilde and Erna. But Odin wasn't going to risk anyone learning the truth about his bloody history, and was quick to exile them both. One minute, Erna was trying to say goodbye to her best friend, her sister, and the next she was waking up on Midgard, surrounded by a group who called themselves the Howling Commandos, apparently in the middle of the planet's biggest war. The Valkyrie may have been slaughtered, and she may have been exiled from Asgard, but Erna is, and will always be, a Valkyrie and she is going to fight for her new home.

Name: Evelyn Rogers

Title: Long Story Short

Faceclaim: Katie Cassidy

Love Interest: Bruce Banner

Summary: Having lost her father to the Great War, her mother to tuberculosis, and her boyfriend to the draft, Evelyn Rogers was not going to lose her brother too. So when he signs up for something called the Erskine Program, she refuses to sit back and wait for him to come home. When Steve becomes the world’s first superhero, the new poster boy for war relief efforts, Evelyn’s name is at the top of the list for his chorus girls, and she follows him all the way to the war. And when they find out that Bucky as his battalion have been captured, she follows him all the way to the front line — and into Johann Schmidt’s grasp. She doesn’t follow him back.

When Steve Rogers forms the Howling Commandos, he has one mission in mind. Wipe HYDRA off the board, and bring Evelyn home. When he finally finds her, on a train with Armin Zola, she has no memory of anything since reaching the HYDRA base. Still recovering from her time with HYDRA, and from losing her first love, Evelyn is unable to follow Steve into his final confrontation with Schmidt. And Steve goes into the ice.

Evelyn returns to New York with Howard Stark and Peggy Carter, with a hole in her heart and no bodies to lay to rest. Desperate to find some sort of peace, she throws herself into searching for the bodies of the only two Howling Commandos not to make it home. After months of searching, Evelyn finds a lead on Bucky, and is never seen again.

Until, 70 years later, she shows up on Nick Fury’s doorstep. No older than the day she disappeared, with no memory of anything after her brother’s plane hit the ice, Evelyn Rogers follows her brother into a new century.

Name: Ezra Barton

Title: Vortex

Faceclaim: Jennifer Lawrence

Name: Francine Barton-Parker

Title: The Final Countdown

Faceclaim: Emily Rudd

Name: Freya Thordottir

Title: Like Catching Lightning

Faceclaim: Jenny Boyd

Love Interest: Peter Parker

Name: Grace Osborn

Title: Bound In Secrets

Faceclaim: Camila Mendes

Love Interest: Peter Parker

Summary: Once upon a time, Grace Osborn had it all. She was the prized princess of the Osborn family, she had a wonderful older brother, and she was her parents’ pride and joy. And then Norman Osborn found out that her mother had been lying for thirteen years and Grace wasn’t his daughter, only a lie to force him into marriage. In order to keep the scandal quiet, Norman quickly sent Grace away to boarding school in England; out of sight, out of mind. That was three years ago. Now, Norman is dead and Harry is in charge, and he has only one priority. Bring his baby sister home.

Name: Grayson Frost

Title: Fear No Evil

Faceclaim: Dylan Sprayberry

Love Interest: Kassandra Maximoff

Name: Ilya Romanova

Title: Fatale

Faceclaim: Holland Roden

Love Interest: Bucky Barnes

Summary: Once, the Red Room had trained dozens of girls, with the Romanova sisters as their greatest success. Natalia, the Black Widow, was a prodigy in everything she did, and her sister Ilya was close behind. But when Natalia defected, Ilya was quick to rise up and fill the hole her sister left. She left a bloodstained legacy unlike any other, earning the title of Red Widow and thriving under солдат’s personal training. So when Hydra sought her gifts, looking to raise her up from student to mission partner, they complied, and the Widow became the Banshee.

сирена met every one of their expectations with ease, and it was no question that she would be their first miracle; developing powers to match her name. For decades, солдат and сирена worked as a perfect unit, carrying out Hydra’s vision on a global scale. But when the assassination of Nick Fury goes awry, the partners find themselves face to face with ghosts of pasts they don’t remember, and everything Hydra has built threatens to fall apart.

Name: Irina Drakov

Title: Shadow

Faceclaim: Mila Kunis

Name: Jameson Barrett | марионетка

Title: Til The End Of The Line

Faceclaim: Dove Cameron

Love Interest: Stefania Raine

Summary: Under the scars, white hair, and leather ensemble, Stefania Raine recognized Jameson Barrett — the very best friend she thought to have seen die two years prior, when aliens invaded New York. But for the other girl, Jameson Barrett was buried deeper; she only ever remembered being марионетка, The Puppet, and being sent there with The Soldier to end Nicholas Fury’s life.

In the middle of the chaos, Stefania lost sight of her best friend, but refused to let the girl go again — even if that meant teaming up with a recently un-brainwashed soldier to find her.

With a faulting memory and unbalanced emotions, Jameson knew that accepting that she used to have a name wasn’t enough of a step to becoming a functional person. So, when she runs into the man from the bridge, from the helicarriers — the man who refused to fight — and he asks for her help in finding her ex-partner and the closest thing she had to a friend, she doesn’t say no.

Name: Jamie Carter-Rogers

Title: Out Of Time

Faceclaim: Margot Robbie

Love Interest: Sam Wilson & Bucky Barnes

Summary: Everybody knows that everybody dies, and nobody knows it like Jamie Rogers. She was raised on war stories, stories about her long dead namesake, and her dad’s stories of another world. A world of aliens and superheroes, of pain and hope, stories of how half of its universe died, and of the ones who gave everything to avenge it. But when Jamie touches the strange crack on her wall and finds herself in New York City, in an alien invasion, in 2012, she realizes that her dad’s other world is not only real, but is the world he comes from, and every single story she heard was true. Everybody knows that everybody dies. But not every day. So, trapped in a world where she was never born, with no way to go home, and knowing exactly what the universe has in store for earth’s mightiest heroes, Jamie makes a promise to herself. Just this once, everybody lives.

Name: Jason Grant

Title: When Tomorrow Comes

Faceclaim: Tyler Hoechlin

Name: Jordan Jameson

Title: Unwritten

Faceclaim: Margaret Qualley

Name: Justine “JB” Barnes

Title: Lost

Faceclaim: Kathryn Newton

Name: Kara Helasdottir

Title: The Memories Are Gone (The Aftershocks Live On)

Faceclaim: Emma Dumont

Name: Kassandra Maximoff

Title: Fear No Evil

Faceclaim: Danielle Rose Russell

Love Interest: Grayson Frost

Summary: Kassandra Maximoff was no stranger to fear; she’d been afraid ever since her parents were killed by a Stark bomb, since she spent those days hiding with her siblings, wondering if any moment might be her last, waiting for Tony Stark to kill her too. So when Strucker offered she and her siblings the opportunity to be strong, to protect their country, to not be afraid, they took it. By the time they found out he was HYDRA, it was too late to escape. The siblings spent months being tortured, knowing exactly what would come if they defected. Kassandra had long since accepted her fate, had long since given up hope. And then the Avengers break into their facility.

Name: Katarina Amelia Aliano

Title: Skyscraper

AO3 | FFNET | WATTPAD

Faceclaim: Sophie Turner & Summer Fontana

Love Interest: Harley Keener; possible Harley & Peter

Summary: Child genius turned orphan, Katarina was counting on her own hacking skills to keep her under the radar. And they do, until she gets caught hacking into Stark industries, looking for answers regarding the aliens that killed her parents in New York, and suddenly she’s not just on a radar, she’s on Tony Stark’s radar. When he decides to take her in, no one expects it to go well, but she soon makes a place for herself on the team and in their hearts. She’s not a superhero, far from it, but she’s a hero in her own right, and nothing comes between Katarina and her family; not her biological family, and definitely not the weird group of misfits and gods that she calls her own.

Name: Kathleen Swanson

Title: Ghost Of You

Faceclaim: Claire Holt

Name: Katie Dean

Title: Renegades

Fandom: Runaways

Faceclaim: Meg Donnelly

Love Interest: Chase Stein

Summary: Katrina Dean was, all things considered, relatively happy with her life. She had her church, cheerleading, choir, and her sister, what more could she want? Or so she thought, at least, until Karolina’s friends discovered the truth about PRIDE, and Karolina discovered the truth about their bracelets. And as much as Katie would love to pretend that nothing had changed, as much as she would love to keep living her perfect life, she knows that’s not an option anymore. And so Katie and Karolina run away.

Name: Kennedy Keener

Title: True North

Faceclaim: Sophia Lillis & Abbey Cowen

Name: Lara Rogers | призрак

Title: Death Defied

Faceclaim: Lyndsy Fonseca

Love interest: Bucky Barnes

Summary: No one told Steve that his DNA was going to be used to breed a new super soldier - or that it was going to fail. No one told him that a civilian, Angie Martinelli, was going to give birth to his son, Caleb Rogers, or that Caleb wouldn’t be a super soldier. No one told him that Caleb was going to have a daughter, Lara, and absolutely no one told him that on her fifth birthday, his granddaughter was going to be kidnapped by Hydra, turned into a super soldier, frozen over and over again, tortured and brainwashed endlessly, and eventually get partnered with the Winter Soldier. But suddenly he’s in the future, suddenly he’s fought aliens, and suddenly солдат and призрак - the Soldier and the Ghost, Bucky and Lara - are attacking Nick Fury in the middle of DC. Suddenly Steve is on the run with Natasha, suddenly they’re in a Hydra facility underneath a bunker, and suddenly the computerized ghost of Arnim Zola is telling them everything. And while it feels sudden to Steve, Project Insight and its enforcers have been seventy years in the making, and no matter how much he wants to cling to the last remains of his family, they might be beyond saving.

Name: Lavinia

Title: Untitled

Faceclaim: Lindsey Morgan

Love Interest: Peter Quill

Name: Lillian Rogers

Title: To The End Of The World

Faceclaim: Ali Liebert (in Bomb Girls)

Love Interest: Bucky Barnes

Summary: Lili Rogers would do anything for her brother. Lie and steal to get his medication, agree not to flirt with his best friend despite her eternal crush, even fake her way into the US army. Of course, it didn’t take long before someone figured out that Liam Rogers was actually Lillian Rogers; but thankfully she was found out by Peggy Carter, who quickly hired her as her secretary and liason to the Howling Commandos. Lili honestly couldn’t have cared less, until she found out that the elite force was led by none other than her brother - who had somehow doubled in size - with the love of her life as his right hand man.

Name: Lisbeth Dugan

Title: Spider Web

Faceclaim: Madelaine Petsch

Name: Lorraine Gillespie

Title: Dying Day

Faceclaim: Tuppence Middleton

Name: Lucy Pierce

Title: Heaven Or Hell

Faceclaim: Vanessa Kirby

Love Interest: Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers

Summary: Bought from the Red Room by Hydra, Lukeriya Turgenev found herself becoming Lucy Pierce when she was forced to marry the head of Hydra, Alexander Pierce himself. A tortured doll reprogrammed to be a perfect weapon and model wife, freedom had always been a foreign concept to Lucy. At least it was, until a failed assassination put she and Yasha – James – The Soldier – face to face with Captain America and Lucy’s former sister and rival, Natasha Romanov.

Name: Lydia Cabot-Stark

Title: Right Down The Line (It’s Been You And Me)

Faceclaim: Blake Lively

Love Interest: Tony Stark

Name: Marina Kovol

Title: Clockwork

Faceclaim: Emily Bett Rickards

Name: Mia Pierce

Title: (I’ve Got) No Strings On Me

Faceclaim: Troian Bellisario

Love interest: Pietro Maximoff

Summary: Mia Pierce has been raised as a Hydra pawn since the day she was born. Her father, Alexander Pierce, believed that she was the future of Hydra, someone that they could teach to worship the organization without brainwashing, that could be raised as a public figure and eventually positioned in whichever political office they needed her in. But Mia was too curious for her own good, asked too many questions, and tried to tell too many secrets, and so she was punished, and forced to comply. But after her father died, and Winter escaped, the Avengers broke into her latest facility, and suddenly Mia is free for the first time in her life.

Name: Millie Quill

Title: Untitled

Faceclaim: Eliza Taylor

#marvel oc #masterlist

59 notes · View notes

albertasunrise · 4 years ago

Text

Realised Too Late - Part 1

Summary: You’ve been best friends with Frankie since high school and you’ve harboured a secret that whole time that has eaten you alive. You’re in love with him. You know he only sees you as Arce (Maple), the nickname he gave you on your first day. You're just his Canadian friend, never anything more. When his life takes a series of different turns, however, you're there to support him through it but how long can you do that before it just hurts too much?

Warnings: Drug abuse, alcohol, depression, overdose, language, Angst, Smut 18+

Pairings: Frankie Morales x Reader - Ben Miller x Reader

Notes: There are some tough subjects in this one so if you're easily triggered by warnings above, don't read. This will be in three parts.

He was a shell of the man you’d known as kids, the army having stripped him of his soul and leaving him limp and boneless. You hadn’t been surprised when he’d turned to drugs for relief, he was an addict. As kids, he was addicted to exercise, constantly dragging you on hikes or to swimming events that left him buzzing after. During his time in the army, he was addicted to danger, unable to just sit on the sidelines when his brothers were out there risking their lives. When he’d retired he’d struggled. He was evicted from his flat after his last job, the neighbours complaining about the noise, the screaming as he was plagued by nightmares of the things he’d seen and done, they didn’t care he was ex-military. Or that his girlfriend had left him. So you had taken him in, held him at night as he sobbed and did everything you could to help him get better.

At first, you’d not realised that the change in him was because of the coke. He’d been happy, positive, bubbly. He’d returned to the Frankie you once knew. You’d been over the moon at his progress, happy that you’d pushed him to attend counselling and he’d sold it to you so well, made you believe he was going but he wasn’t. No, he was driving to a bar where he had a beer, sniffed some coke in the bathroom and left, returning to you with a new story to sell his lie.

You’d found the bag of powder whilst doing the washing. You’d known instantly what it was and you’d broken down immediately, unable to believe that he’d do that stuff after what he knew. What it had done to your family. He’d found you sobbing on the floor, clutching your stomach and he’d dropped to your side in an instant, pulling you into his arms.

‘Arce, what’s wrong?’ He’d pleaded and your tears had stopped almost immediately, sorrow replaced with pure burning anger that you’d never felt before.

‘You lied to me.’ You’d growled, pushing away ‘You haven’t been going to counselling have you?’

‘I have.’

‘If you continue to lie to me I swear I will kick the shit out of you.’ You'd spat, getting to your feet with that bag clutched tightly in your hand ‘This is the real reason you’ve been -happier- isn’t it Francisco?’ You continued, holding out your hand and revealing the bag that sat on your palm ‘How could you?’ You’d sobbed ‘After what I’ve been through… How could you resort to this as a fix?’

Frankie had knelt there gobsmacked, unsure of what to do or say to you. He'd not even thought about you when he’d been offered the substance the first time, he’d just focused on the fact he’d been told it would help… and it had.

‘Arce I’m so sorry.’ He’d sobbed ‘I just needed the pain to stop. He’d told me it would stop and it did.’

‘But Frankie. This shit ruins lives.’ You said, your tone changing to one with more sympathy ‘Look what it did to my family.’

Your brother had gotten hooked on the stuff after his relationship had fallen apart. His wife had left him, taking the baby with her and he’d lost it. Turning to drink and drugs to dull the pain. He’d managed to hide it well, no one ever suspecting him. One fateful day however the truth had been revealed most tragically. It had been your birthday and Frankie had organised a surprise party for you at his. Your brother had been tasked to pick up and bring your parents over but he’d taken just a little too much before getting behind the wheel. They had never stood a chance. His car was t-boned by a truck when he’d jumped a red light, everyone dying on impact. When you’d arrived at Frankie’s you’d been over the moon to see his place decorated with balloons and streamers, your friends all stood there waiting for you but his face had ripped that happiness away. He’d walked up to you, everyone else remaining where they were and he placed a hand on each arm, bracing you for what was to come and as the words left his mouth you'd passed out, falling limply into his arms.

He’d supported you through it all. The funeral. Sorting through your parent's stuff. You’d considered selling their house but he’d convinced you not to.

‘Don’t you want your kids to grow up here?’ He’d said ‘You have a story about every inch of this house. Don’t sell those stories to someone else.’

So you’d kept it. Moved in and worked on modernising it without ripping out its soul, keeping the memory of your family alive within its walls.

‘You need to stop this Frankie.’ You’d stated, snatching the powder out of sight ‘I will help you but you have to promise me no more lies.’ You’d continued, noting the relief that had flooded his expression ‘You lie to me Frankie and that’s it. You’re out.’

‘Of course.’ He’d replied, nodding hastily as his tears tracked down his cheeks ‘No more lies… I promise.’

He’d kept his promise. He actually attended counselling, his shrink calling each time to confirm he’d visited. He wasn’t aware that they did it, you’d asked them to keep it between the two of you but you’d needed some sort of confirmation that he really was trying to help himself. The nightmares had returned but after a while, they became less frequent along with the panic attacks at loud sounds. He was doing so much better and you were so proud of him. He’d then started to attend AA meetings, finding them useful. You’d gone along to the first few with him on his request but as his confidence had grown he started attending alone and that’s how he’d met her.

Lucy.

She was nice enough. She’d been hooked on coke too after leaving the army so they’d connected in a way that a lot of the other members never could. Their romance had been fast-paced and it killed you. You were happy he had someone, of course, you were… You were just devastated that it wasn’t you.

‘So Lucy’s having a few friends over on Friday. She wondered if you wanted to join?’ He asked as he sipped at his coffee ‘She’s desperate to get to know you.’

‘You talk about me with her?’ You asked, raising your brows as little in surprise.

‘Of course, I do.’ He replied, giving your a bemused expression ‘You’re my best friend. Why wouldn’t I?’

You shrugged, sipping at your coffee as you looked at anything but him, desperate to hide your heartbreak from him. He didn’t notice, just continued to speak as he supped at his black coffee, oblivious to your pain.

‘So will you come?’ He asked with hopeful eyes.

‘Sure.’ You reply, praying something comes up that means you can’t go.

Nothing does.

‘So you’re the famous Arce?’ She asked, shaking your hand when Frankie brought you over.

‘That I am.’ You replied, smiling sheepishly at her.

‘Frankie’s told me all about you.’ She stated, giving you a warm smile ‘You’ve been quite a friend to him.’ She stated ‘Especially with his coke addiction. Most people who have been through what you have would have run a mile. He’s lucky to have you.’

You give her a small nod but inside you’re screaming. She thanks you for coming and apologises for having to go, food needs to be checked. As soon as she leaves you turn and walk to the door, tears streaming down your cheeks.

‘Hey whoah! Where are you going? What’s the matter?’ Asked Frankie as he grabbed your shoulders and stopped you in your tracks ‘Why are you crying?’

‘Fuck you, Frankie.’ Was your reply before you shrugged out of his grip and left, ignoring him as he called after you.

You ignored his calls and texts as you laid there curled up on your couch, praying that he'd choose to stay with her that night but you didn’t get such luck. He walked through the door a little after 1 in the morning, toeing off his shoes and hanging his coat and cap up before stepping quietly into the house. He heard your silent cries and found you curled up on the couch, an empty bottle of wine laying on the floor in front of you.

‘Lucy was really upset that you left.’ He stated, his tone angry ‘That was really rude.’

‘Get out.’ Was your reply, barely above a whisper.

‘What the fuck is your problem?’ he growled, his patience spent ‘She was nothing but nice to you and then you just fucking leave.’

‘She isn't the reason I left.’ You spat, venom dripping from every word as you sat up and glared at him ‘You’re the reason I left.’

‘Me?’ He questioned, pointing at his chest ‘The fuck did I do?’

‘You had no right to tell her.’ You growled ‘You had no right…’ You trailed off, feeling more tears threatening to spill.

‘Tell her what?’

‘You know what Frankie.’ You yelled, scrapping a hand over your tear-stained face ‘There are a handful of people that know the truth about how they died. I choose who I tell, not you.’

‘Arce-.’

‘I’m going to bed.’ You interrupted, getting up from the couch and heading upstairs, leaving a guilty Frankie in your wake.

He didn’t come home for a few days after that evening. You assumed he was trying to give you some space but you didn’t care, you were just too hurt. When he did come back you saw something different in him, something had changed and not for the better. He was withdrawn, quiet. Spending more time in his room or under the hood of his truck than anywhere else and you found yourself worrying about him despite the anger you still felt towards him.

‘Frank, what’s going on with you?’

‘Surprised you care.’ He snarled, pushing his food around his plate with his fork.

‘Fuck you, Francisco. Of course, I care.’ You spat, slapping the table with your hand and making him jump.

You weren’t expecting him to cry.

‘She’s pregnant.’ He said, taking you by surprise.

‘And you’re not happy? You’ve always wanted kids… what changed?’ You asked, your confusion evident.

‘I do want kids.’ He replied, lip trembling ‘She doesn’t.’ He continued ‘She’s booked herself in for a termination next week.’

‘What?’ Your heart shatters ‘Did she even consult you?’

He simply shook his head and you felt your anger bubbling beneath the surface again.

‘I was over the moon when she told me.’ He affirmed, pushing his place away and leaning back in his chair ‘I practically sobbed with joy but then she told me that she was terminating it. Said she’d never wanted kids and that it was the best thing. No kid deserves two junkie parents.’

‘But you’re clean… Aren’t you?’

‘Yes.’ He replied, slightly exasperated ‘And I would do everything in my power to remain clean for that kid.’ He paused, sniffing as he wiped away his tears ‘I begged her to reconsider but she refused. Said that if I couldn’t support her decision then she didn’t want to be with me.’

‘Frank-.’

‘I thought this was it.’ He stated ‘I thought I’d finally found someone I could be myself with, raise kids with.’ His works sting more than he’ll ever know ‘I didn’t think after… After them that I’d ever get a chance to be a dad. I guess I never will.’

You have to push your pain to one side and comfort him. He and his ex had been expecting, he’d been so excited but after Santi had dragged him on a job in South America that had resulted in the death of his commanding officer and them all leaving empty-handed, he’d returned to learn that she’d lost it and left him. You were sure that had contributed towards his downward spiral into drugs, little did you know, he’d had a problem before that. He’d hidden it so well for so long.

‘Frankie I know you’re destined to be a dad.’ You said softly, taking your hands in his ‘You’ll find the right woman one day.’

‘I haven't left her.’ He said suddenly ‘I love Lucy. I just need some time to grieve the baby.’

‘Frank-.’

‘I love her Arce.’ He stated ‘We can work past this.’

You leave at that.

You cried yourself to sleep when he’d moved in with her. You’d helped him pack, drove boxes over to her in your car but you’d hadn’t stayed when they invited you in, unable to bear being around him a moment longer. After that, you ignored his attempts to contact you. Didn’t answer the door when he came knocking. You just let yourself fall into a dark depression, one you didn't think you’d ever recover from and you didn’t expect Benny to be the one that pulled you out of it.

‘What’s going on sweetheart?’ He asked, holding you as you sob into his chest.

‘I’m just so alone.’ You sobbed ‘I’m the plain friend that everyone relies on but no one loves. God, I’ve not been asked on a date in years. My life is a mess and now Frank’s gone and I’m all on my own.’

‘You’re gorgeous babe.’ He said, placing a soft kiss on the crown of your head ‘Anyone would be lucky to have you on their arm.’

‘You don’t need to be nice to me Benny.’ You chuckle, pulling away from his now tear-stained chest to look at him ‘I know I’m not desirable. I never have been.’

Ben looked at you with a troubled expression, unable to believe that someone so beautiful could be so neglected and feel so unappreciated. He’d had a thing for you since Frankie had first introduced you to them all but he’d never acted on it. You were Frank’s best friend after all. You were off-limits.

‘You’re one of the most beautiful women I know.’ He stated, tucking some of your stray hair behind your ear ‘You deserve the world.’

You stared at each other for a moment, your eyes dropped to his lips and his gaze followed suit. The air shifted as he cupped your cheek with his large hand, thumb stroking the apple of your cheek as your eyes locked with each others' again. Then he leaned in and he kissed you, smiling when you gasped in surprise.

It was soft at first, chaste but as you shifted closer to him, legs straddling his lap, he deepened it and you moaned as your tongues dance. It was then a blur of touches, moans and the removal of clothes but the next moment you were truly aware of was him sheathing himself inside of you, kissing you sweetly as you gasped at the stretch.

‘You okay?’ He asked softly, blue eyes searching for anything that told him you didn’t want this but you simply nodded and pulled him into a hungry kiss.

‘Move please.’ You begged ‘Fuck me, Benny…. Please.’

That's all the permission he needed and he started to cant his hips, pushing himself as deep as he could go before withdrawing and slamming back. His pace was slow at first, unhurried, but as your moans grew filthier and filthier he sped up his thrusts, hitting that sweet spot with every movement.

‘Fuck I’m gonna cum.’ You whined, nails digging into the muscles on his back and it spurred him on ‘Fuck…’

‘Let go.’ He growled against the shell of your ear and you did.

You screamed as he made you cum hard, dragging him right along with you and after a few more thrusts to prolong your high’s he collapsed on the couch beside you, kissing you languidly as he stroked your cheek.

‘Let me take you out.’ He said, bumping your nose with his.

‘Okay.’ You replied, grinning at him as you kissed him again and wrapped your hand around his length, pumping him lazily ‘But first, we’re doing that again.’

‘You’re bringing your girlfriend to guys night?’ Questioned Will as he sipped from his beer.

‘I’m crazy about her boys.’ He replied, smiling like a loon as he thought about you.

You’d fucked twice more that night before you’d fallen asleep in each other’s arms, the sex that following morning being the best of all. That evening he took you to dinner and then again the day after that and you quickly fell into a relationship that had you feeling happier than you'd ever been. You’d both decided to keep it a secret at first, just take each day as it came but after being together for 4 months you decided that it was time to reveal to the boys but you were scared of how Frankie would react. The two of you hadn’t spoken much after he’d moved out.

‘Fine but if you’re bringing your squeeze then Fish should bring Lucy. Not fair for the poor girl to sit with three guys all night.’

‘Fish? Think Lu would come?’ Asked Benny, eyes wide and eager.

‘Don’t see why not.’ He replied with a shrug ‘She’s wanted to come out with us for ages so…’

‘Great then that's settled.’ Replied Ben, beaming as he sipped his beer.

He just hoped Lu’s presence would take away from the fact his girlfriend was you.

You sat in the booth, clinging to Ben’s hand for dear life. Your heart was pulsing in your throat, hands shaking as you watched the door for the others to arrive. Will had texted to say he’d be about an hour late but Frankie had confirmed he was running on time. You'd both decided to arrive a little early to get a round in, a little liquid courage you'd supposed. When Frankie walked in, Lucy behind him you felt your stomach twist in knots.

‘Sorry, we’re a little late.’ He said, not looking up as he shoved his keys in his pocket ‘Traffic was crazy…' He trailed off as he looked up, seeing you at Ben’s side ‘What are you doing here? Where's your girlfriend Ben?’

Ben simply put his arm around your shoulders, smiling at Frankie nervously and giving your hand under the table a squeeze.

‘You two?’ He question, motioning between you both with his pointer finger ‘You two are together?’

‘Yes.’ You replied simply, unable to hide the wobble in your voice.

‘Are you fucking serious?’

‘Fish-.’

‘My best friend Ben… Really?’

‘I’m crazy about her man.’ He stated ‘We kept it quiet because we were scared to tell you but we’ve been dating for coming up to five months so we felt it was time you knew.’

‘I managed to get away early. Boss was… wha-‘ Will’s mouth dropped open when he saw his brother’s arm around your shoulders ‘You two?’

‘Yes us two.’ Growled Ben ‘We’ve been dating for almost five months, things are amazing and we thought it was time to make it public.’ He finished, rolling his eyes.

Frankie was glued to the spot, hands shaking as he stared at Ben’s arm around you and h.e felt something he’d not experienced before with you. Jealousy... and he wanted nothing more than to rip Ben off of you and pull you into his arms.

‘Babe?’ Piped up Lucy as she tugged on his sleeve ‘You want a beer?’

‘Uh - Yeah…’ He replied, shaking his head before slipping down onto the bench beside him ‘Thanks, baby.’

She gave him a sweet peck on the cheek and made her way to the bar, leaving him to return to staring at you and Ben.

‘Well, I for one am over the moon for you both.’ Said Will, grinning ‘You look really good together.’

‘Going to make beautiful babies.’ Ben joked and Frankie felt his stomach drop, noting the glint in your eyes as you beamed at the younger Miller.

‘Bit soon isn’t it?’ Boomed Will, letting out a breath chuckle.

‘Nothing wrong with thinking about the future.’ You stated, sticking your tongue out at Will before turning your head towards Ben and kissing him sweetly.

Frankie wanted to leave. He didn't want to stay here and watch you kiss his friend but he knew he had no right to be jealous. He was with Lucy. He'd picked her.

‘Of all the people you could date, why her?’ Yelled Frank, feeling his anger overflowing ‘Why her Ben?’

‘Why does it matter?’ He shouted back.

‘She’s my best friend!’

‘Who you’ve barely seen since you moved out!’ Spat Ben ‘She was so fucking depressed man. You’d left and she felt so alone. Did you ever show her that you appreciated what she did for you when you lived with her? Tell her she was beautiful? Tell her what she meant to you? Because she thinks she is the plain friend, doomed to be alone.’ Ben paused, scrubbing his hand over his face as he glanced at the restroom door ‘I have been into her for years. I held off because I knew she was your best friend but I couldn’t hold back any longer. She’s amazing and I’m falling hopelessly in love with her Fish. She deserves the world and I intend to give that to her.’

Frankie stood there with his mouth agape. He’d realised at that moment how selfish he’d been. He’d never made you feel appreciated, loved. He’d ignored your pain and now he knew that fact his mind was replayed the moments it had slipped out. He’d been so blind to it but now it was too late. He was too late.

Frankie Morales was in love with you… and he’d lost you to Ben.

When they'd returned to the table, Frankie had remained fairly silent as he desperately tried to quieten the anguish in his heart. He wished he'd never realised what he felt, he wished he'd remained ignorant of it but he knew he didn't really love Lucy. He never had.

Your heart raced with a mixture of nerve and excitement as Ben fucked you against the wall of the locker room. You could have been caught at any moment but you'd found yourself begging him for it before he’d lifted you by the back of your thighs and wrapped your legs around his waist, pushing your underwear to the side and slipping his throbbing length into your heat, silencing your moans with his mouth.

‘You gotta be quiet for me baby.’ He whispered, lust blown eyes locked with yours ‘Fuck you’re so beautiful.’ He panted as he rocked his hips, hitting that spot perfectly with each thrust of his strong hips.

‘F-fuck.’ You moaned, biting your bottom lip to stifle the filth that wanted to slip from your lips.

You could feel yourself fast approaching your orgasm and you latched onto his shoulders as your forehead fell against his, eyes remaining fixed on him

‘I love you.’ You whispered, smiling at the grin that swept across his face.

‘Fuck… I love you too baby.’ He replied, increasing his pace as he desperately tried to make you cum before him.

…

Frankie stepped into the locker room but stopped in his tracks when he heard it. Laboured breathing, stifled moans and he peeked around one of the lockers to see Ben fucking you against the wall. Your forehead was resting against his, mouth hanging open, knuckles white as you gripped onto his shoulders.

Then he heard it.

‘I love you.’

‘Fuck… I love you too baby.’

He managed to drag himself away after that, ears just catching your moans as you climaxed and he felt his heart break. Seeing you with him like that being the final nail in the coffin for him.

…

You couldn’t hold back the pleasured sob that escaped your lips as he made you cum, his release following straight behind yours and you kissed his deeply as you clutched onto him tightly, willing your heart to slow.

‘Fuck that was hot,’ Chuckled Ben as he lowered you to your feet ‘Good thing the boys didn’t arrive early.’

‘Would you have stopped?’ You question as you gave him a devilish grin.

‘Not sure I’d be capable of stopping.’ He replied ‘You feel too good.’

‘Mmm good answer.’ You replied as you pulled up your panties and kissed him sweetly ‘Love you.’ You said against his lips ‘Feels good to tell you that.’

‘Feels good to hear it.’ He replied, kissing the tip of your nose.

‘Look who I found making a run for it.’ Stated Will as he emerged from behind the lockers, arm slung around Frankie’s shoulders.

‘Where were you going?’ Asked Ben as he sat on one of the benches in the centre of the room and started to wrap his hands ready for the fight.

‘I uh…’ His eyes locked with yours and you saw something in them that makes your stomach twist Did he see us?

‘I don’t feel well.’ He stated, lifting his cap to adjust his hair underneath.

‘Nothing a beer can't fix.’ Will stated, pulling Frankie towards him and started to head to the ring ‘Meet you guys in there.’

You nod, watching as he led Fish away and then you turned to Ben with a mortified expression.

‘What?’ He asked upon seeing it.

‘I think he saw us.’ You replied plainly, hands shaking as you studied Ben’s reaction.

‘Fuck.’

You were dragged away from Ben’s lips by a knock at the door, the younger Miller groaning as you got off of his lap and padded across the room to your front door, taken aback by who you found standing there.

‘Lucy?’

‘Is Frankie here?’ She asked, her tone a little panicked.

You took her in. She looked unwell, a familiar gloss coating her eyes and you knew she was high.

‘No.’ You replied plainly, unable to hide your distaste at the state she was in ‘Why?’

‘We broke up a few weeks ago.’ She started, taking both you and Ben by surprise as he came up behind you ‘We’ve been texting the past few days. He was sad about something, has been sad for a few months now. He was supposed to come by today to grab the last of his things but he never showed. I tried calling but he isn’t answering. I’m worried about him. Thought maybe he’d come here.’

‘Where has he been living since he moved out?’ Ben asked, snaking his arm around your waist and giving you a friendly squeeze.

‘He found a flat.’

‘What's the address?’ He asked, grabbing the sticky notes and pen from your side table and noting it down as Lucy said it ‘Right. We’ll let you know if we hear from him. Go home and wait. He may still turn up. We’ll go check his apartment.’

Lucy nodded, her whole body trembling from a mixture of worry and need for her next fix. You recognised it, seen Frankie go through it and you felt a flicker of sympathy for her. She did really care about him. Ben called her a cab and saw her off before you both jumped into his truck and headed to the address she had given you, leg bouncing nervously as a terrible feeling washed over you. Your stomach dropped when you arrived, his door wide open and you'd both sprinted inside to find him seizing on the floor as someone, you assumed a neighbour, was on the phone to the emergency services beside him.

‘Frankie.’ You screamed as you fell to his side, cradling his face as his body was rocked with convulsions but Ben was glued to the spot in total shock. You felt sick as you watched his face, eyes rolling back as his seizure seemed to intensify and then it seemed to stop as abruptly as it had started and you sobbed as you rested your forehead against his.

‘Hold on please.’ You begged ‘Help’s coming. Just hold on.’ His breathing becoming more and more laboured.

You were pulled away by Ben as Frankie was then swarmed by medics, the neighbour who’d been there when you'd arrived coming to stand at your side.

‘I heard a scream, like none other I’d heard before, and then a crash.’ She started ‘He’s a nice boy. Gave me a spare key after he managed to lock himself out one night shortly after moving in. I let myself in and he was just laying there…. Then he started to fit and I-.’

‘You did really well... Miss?’

‘Roberts.’ She replied.

‘Well, Miss Roberts. We can’t thank you enough.’ Said Benny as he gave her a friendly smile.

‘Please keep me updated.’ She begged ‘Here’s my number.’ She said as she handed him a card ‘I won’t rest easy until I know he’s okay.’

‘We will.’ He replied, noting you following the gurney out the door ‘I promise.’ He shouted over his shoulder as he followed, leaping into the ambulance and sitting at your side.

The next few hours were a blur. Will arrived at the hospital around half an hour after you and Ben had and now the three of your sat waiting patiently for news. Ben held you tightly, stroking your hair as you clutched to him for dear life. Lips moving in silent prayer.

‘What happened?’ Asked Will, looking at his brother.

‘Lucy turned up asking if we’d seen Fish.’ He started, placing a soft kiss on the crown of your head ‘They broke up like a month ago apparently. He’s been living in town. She gave us his address and when we turned up his neighbour was kneeling beside him as he was having a fucking seizure.’

‘Do you think?’

Ben just widened his eyes, not wanting you to know what he thought. He didn’t think it was right for you to hear it from him if his suspicions were right.

‘Who’s here for Mr Morales?’

‘We are.’ Replied Will as the three of you stood.

‘Is he?’

‘He’s alive.’ He started and you all breathed a sigh of relief ‘But he's lucky to be.’

You all looked up at him with concern and waited for him to elaborate.

‘He overdosed on Morphine.’ He stated and your hand flew up to your mouth ‘It looks to be deliberate. He took enough to cause death. He knew what he was doing.’

‘No Frankie wouldn’t do that.’ You sobbed ‘He wouldn’t try and kill himself.’

'Shhhh.' Hushed Ben as he pulled you into him, stroking your hair in an attempt to soothe you.

‘He went into respiratory distress shortly after arriving but we managed to bring him back. He’s resting now and I’m confident that he’s going to recover. However we recommend that he be sectioned, his files show that he suffers from PTSD and that he’s a recovering cocaine addict. We fear he’s a danger to himself.’

‘No.’ Growled Ben ‘We’ll take care of him.’

‘Ben…’ Will scorned.

‘We’re not having him sectioned.’ He spat ‘We’ll take care of him won’t we baby?’

You nodded without hesitation.

You were allowed to see him a little while later and he’d been awake when you'd arrived but the pain in his eyes had made your stomach twist in knots. The way he’d looked at you made you feel sick to the stomach and you’d almost left, unable to bear seeing him like this.

‘Why Frankie?’ You managed to ask after a short period of silence, taking a seat beside his bed and taking his hand in yours.

‘I couldn’t do it anymore.’ He replied, choking on a sob that fell from his lips.

‘Do what?’

‘I realised too late.’

‘Frankie, what are you talking about?’ You pushed, brows furrowed in confusion.

‘I realised too late and now you love him.’

Your stomach dropped and you withdrew your hand.

‘I’m in love with you Arce.’ He declared ‘It hurts knowing you’re with him. That you love him.'

‘What are you saying Francisco?’ You grumbled ‘Are you telling me you tried to kill yourself because I’m with Ben?’

He didn’t say a word but you could read it in the look he was giving you.

‘Arce-.’

‘No, fuck you, Frankie.’ You spat, clutching your stomach as your sobs overthrew you ‘I’ve been in love with you since high school. I've borne the pain of loving someone that didn’t love me back for over a decade. It fucking hurt but never did I tried to take my own life because I couldn’t have you.’ You paused and his mouth dropped ‘Not even when you told me that when you met Lucy you'd found someone you could "be yourself around"... Those words cut me to the bone but I pushed past it and supported you. Ben is wonderful to me. He loves me. Makes me feel like a goddess. So the fact you "realised" you were in love with me after Ben and I got together… Well, that’s just shit Frankie because I love Ben. I’m finally happy after so long. This...’ You point at him and the hospital room around him ‘What you did was fucking selfish. I don’t- I can’t-.’

‘Arca.’

‘I need to leave.’ You sobbed as you got to your feet and sprinted from the room, not even stopping when Ben called your name.

You couldn’t stay here a moment longer. Not after he'd told you, you were the reason he tried to take his own life. He'd gone too far now.

Frankie moved in with the Miller brother for a little while after leaving the hospital. You’d avoided him, but you hadn’t told Ben what he’d said in the hospital. He’d tried to call, send several texts but you hadn’t been able to bring yourself to speak to him. He'd destroyed whatever had been left of your friendship the moment he'd swallowed those pills.

‘Fish’s really worried about you baby.’ He said softly, brushing his nose against yours ‘Baby he’s a mess. He's desperate to speak to you.’

‘I can’t.’ You replied.

‘Why the fuck not?’ Growled Ben, head shooting back ‘You two have been friends forever. He almost died baby. He needs his friends.’

‘Ask him why he did it.’ You growled, eyes darkening ‘Ask him why and then you’ll understand why I can’t speak to him.’

So that’s exactly what Ben did and Fish had been honest in answering him, leaving Ben in an impossible position.

‘The fuck you mean you’re in love with her?’ He yelled, instantly regretting raising his voice when Fish flinched ‘Is this why you freaked when you found out?’

‘No… Yes…. Sort of.’ He grumbled as he scraped a hand over his face ‘I didn’t realise until I saw your arm around her that I was… and always had been in love with her.’

Ben collapsed onto the couch, his stomach dropping.

‘She said she’d loved me since high school. I’d been blind to it until she had told me and then it had become so painfully obvious.’ He paused, eyes locking with Bens ‘But I’ve lost her to you now. She loves you.’ He hiccups ‘She deserves to be with a guy like you.’

‘Fish…’

‘Ben please.’ He begged, raising his hand to silence him ‘I know what I did was selfish but I was in a hole so deep I saw no way out. Now I’ve lost her completely.’ He threw his head into his hands and sobbed ‘I’ve fucked everything up so badly.’

From that day Ben made it his mission to repair your broken friendship. He had eventually managed to sit the two of you down, making you the both of you talk and after the two of you finally got the truth out there you were able to start to repair the tattered remains of your relationship the two of you had once treasured so much. You’d offered to let him move in again, something that Ben had actually suggested one evening over dinner. Things had been a little awkward at first, especially on the nights when Ben stayed over but as the days faded into weeks. Weeks into months. You found that you were able to fall back into the routine you'd had before, with Ben being an added extra. You'd blinked and a year had passed, your relationship with the younger Miller getting stronger and stronger. He'd moved in with you soon after the anniversary, something that Frankie appeared to take well but little did you know it was eating him alive under the surface. The selfish part of him had hoped that by the two of you living together again, that he'd have a chance to woo you but you were too in love with Ben. He'd never stood a chance. So as the months went on, Ben became more permanent and as time went on you both talked of the future, of what you both so desperately wanted.

‘I’m going to miss you.’ Ben panted against your lips as he thrust himself deep into your heat, eliciting a gasp of pleasure from you as you arched your back to urge him deeper ‘Fuck I’m going to miss you so much.’

‘I’ll miss you too.’ You whined ‘Fuck… Ben.’ You pleaded as your hands grasped at his toned ass ‘Harder… please.’

He did as you asked, increasing his pace and you moaned loudly before throwing your head back in a silent scream. It didn’t take long for him to make you cum for the third time since you'd started, growling against the shell of your ear as you bit down on his shoulder to muffle your scream.

‘Fuck baby.’ He grunted, thrusting half a dozen more times before filling you with his cum. ‘Pillow.’ He said and you grabbed one for him, raising your hips so he could slide it under.

‘You think it’ll take?’ You asked, smiling at him warmly.

‘God I hope so.’ He said as he placed a kiss on your stomach ‘Can’t wait to see you round with my baby in your belly.’

‘You’re cute.’ You giggled, pulling him into a kiss ‘Do you have to go?’

‘You know I do baby.’ He said softly, kissing you softly ‘But I promise I will be back here as soon as I can. Fish’ll take good care of you whilst I’m gone.’

‘Three weeks is such a long time.’

‘I know but think about it this way… When I come back, we can do a test and hopefully.’ He pauses to kiss you sweetly ‘It will tell us we’re going to have a family.’

‘Well, when you put it that way.’ You grinned ‘Perhaps we should do it at least once more… Just to be sure.‘

‘God yes.’ He growled as he kissed you deeply again, feeling himself growing hard again.

‘I read that doggy is an excellent position for conceiving.’ You stated, looking at him seductively 'Allows for deeper penetration.'

‘God I love you.’ He growled as he flipped you onto your front, kissing up your spine as you got onto your hands and knees.

‘Put a baby in me, Benny.’ You begged, wiggling your ass a little as you grinned at him over your shoulder.

‘Would be my pleasure.’ He purred as he pushed himself into your heat again, groaning in unison with you.

The pace he set this time was mind-numbing, the sound of his hips slapping against you only making you more aroused. His hands gripped your hips tightly as he pounded into you and you felt the coil inside you start to tighten, threatening to snap at any moment.

‘Touch yourself.’ He ordered and you shivered at the pleasure his command brought you and slipped your hand down your body and began to rub the bundle of nerves between your thighs, crying out as he started to hit your sweet spot over and over.

‘Fuck baby I’m close.’ He whined, gripping you tighter as he sped up again.

‘So am I.’ you replied breathlessly.

‘Good.’ He growled, pounding into you mercilessly and then you cum together before collapsing on the bed with him still very much inside of you.

Pulling out of you he arranged the pillow underneath your belly so your hips were raised, hoping gravity would help the process along.

‘God I can’t wait to have a baby with you.’ He panted as he laid down beside you, stroking your cheek affectionately.

You beamed at him, taking his hand in yours as you came down from your high. You prayed his seed would take, that he would return to the best news in the world. You’d both decided to keep it a secret, for now, wanting to surprise them all but little did you know that Frankie now knew. He’d walked past your door just as you’d asked Ben to put a baby in you and his heart had shattered.

He’d never get you now.

Part 2

#frankie morales x you #frankie morales fanfiction #francisco morales x you #francisco morales fanfiction #francisco morales #francisco ‘catfish’ Morales #frankie ‘catfish’ morales #triple frontier fanfiction #triple frontier x reader #triple frontier x you #ben miller x reader #ben miller x you #triple frontier #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal #fanfiction #frankie morales x reader

58 notes · View notes

whump-town · 4 years ago

Text

Envy For The Solid Ground

This is a fic about drowning but only for @genevievedarcygranger. So if you're not them don't read this. It's a waste of your time. It's not very good.

Childabuse and drowning oh my

To an untrained eye, Aaron Hotchner is the sort of man you look at and assume he’s just been big and powerful his entire life. There’s too much edge to him, effortless control. As most adult things go it’s impossible to imagine it in reverse. To dwindle suit and tie to dirty bare-feet playing in the yard and toy cars. But beneath the illusion he’s spent forty-years perfecting, there’s an eight-year-old boy hiccuping on his bed with welts from his father’s belt bleeding through his t-shirt. There's a twelve-year-old who had his father’s daily routine memorized down to the second who grew into the fourteen-year-old who gave himself a buzz cut in the bathroom mirror.

That stupid haircut saved his life. His father had nothing to hold onto, nothing to hold him still with. No one could grab him from behind, use the impossible bend of his neck to manipulate him backwards. His mother hated it, got this soft sadness from running her fingers over it and saying “it makes you look sick, like you’re dying”. Sean said he was just missing overalls, he’d be a perfect extra on the TV adaptation of “One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest”. But it hadn’t mattered to him that it made his mother dream of him at war, wading through bullets and being blown to bits. If the kids at school took one look at him and chose to ignore him then fantastic. That’s two things going his way but it only matters that he lives.

He stopped cutting it that short at twenty - even after not having lived with his father for four years. After knowing the solace of Haley’s family for two. He just couldn’t do it. There was a constant fear around him, always looking over his shoulder expecting someone to reach out and pull him back. Expecting the pain to come pouring down without hesitation, as if it never stopped.

His hair is the longest it’s ever been. A thought that nearly seems silly, nothing about his hair is long. Even after all this time he’s hardly strayed from a hairstyle not “okayed” by the military. Still hardly any length at all.

But not too short to hold. Not too short to manipulate.

“Hotch!”

The sun shines down into his eyes, blood trailing down his chin. It stings, the place at the curve of his throat where the knife rests. The first time he ever saw someone like this he thought, foolishly, that it wouldn’t hurt. Adrenaline and fear and surely everything else would prevent that knife biting edge from really hurting. But he can feel each bump. The way the Unsub’s hand jerks when he speaks, digging the knife into his flesh that much deeper. The way his own flinches and breaths pull the cut longer.

“Let him go!”

He can see the water from here, dangling halfway off… Actually, he’s not too sure where he is right now.

A foot chase. He remembers Reid yelling after him, thought he saw a trail up ahead. Thought he could get to the Unsub another way. He can hear Reid now, the snapping of the branches and leaves under his feet as he shifts. He’s afraid.

“Matthew.”

The good old emotional appeal.

It’s Emily standing there with her arms at her sides and her voice soft.

Which means Morgan isn’t too far off, gun pointed at the Unsub’s head.

“Matthew, please, you don’t have to do this.”

The knife jerks, more blood running down his chest. It’s soaking through his clothes.

“You’re hurting my friend, Matthew.”

The knife slips, digs in too much and he tries to move. Instincts pull him, urge him to move out of the way. He can’t get away, though, and ends up gurgling. Ends up choking and sputtering up blood.

Derek shoots, a judgment call he has to make. One he can’t stand as the bullet leaves his chamber.

“No!”

They fall. The Unsubs’ weight pulling Hotch down with him. His back hits the water first. Blacks out.

Derek rushes to the edge, pulling Emily back. They don’t come back up to the surface. Only blood. Hotch’s blood tangling with the mud they kick up. They hold their breath. Waiting. For something. For nothing.

It’s immediate, white shirt bubbling back up and Hotch’s head breaking the surface. His eyes wide and his face pale. He stutters out something, confused and shivering. “D-D-” his head goes under again. His fingers reach up until they’re gone too.

He’s panicking. Going to get himself killed.

He spits the water from his face, trying to shake it away but he’s slipping. His feet no longer sitting in the mud, his body being dragged alongside the Unsubs down into the current. He feels himself being drawn back and he panics, eyes widening as he realizes he has to get away. He’s nearly there, free from the grasp of the dead weight of the Unsub when he slips. “Dere--”

As he’s pulled under the current of the river he thinks about Jack. The winter that he got the croup and Haley couldn’t stop blaming herself, no matter how many times Hotch reasoned it was no more her fault than his. Even if it was no one’s fault. He’d spent so many hours rocking Jack in the bathroom. Him in his boxers and Jack in his diaper, the steam from the shower leaving their skin slick. For three days the house splintered with the sound of Jack’s crying, only ever falling silent when he grew too hoarse. Even then he was so congested each of his little breaths were still audible. Hotch would still wake in the middle of the night, heart hammering in his chest, and find himself standing over Jack. Placing his hand over the baby’s chest to convince himself his ears weren’t betraying, Jack was still breathing.

The rocks underneath his feet shift uncertainty as he pushes off them, trying to force his way back to the surface. Kicking madly and hands cutting through the water as quickly as he can. His head breaks through and he sucks greedily for air, knows what happens when he’s pulled back down. The water falls down his face into his mouth, the nearly salty taste of the river water turning his stomach. As he reaches up, attempting to grab onto one of the dried, gnarled branches reaching down towards him from the bank. The river pushes him too quickly and he can’t reach, his fingertips brushing against the wood teasingly. His hip hits a rock and he’s spun outwards. Pulled once again by the current.

The sun streaks through the water, brightening the murky water as his eyes open and he sees his own hand reaching up for the air.

It reminds him of Emily reaching for the blinds high above her head, cursing under her breath each time the broken string evaded her grasp. She’d never admit it but she’d been terrified of losing him after Foyet, of what might happen if he was left alone in his apartment. So she and Reid just didn’t leave. He woke from drugged slumber to them playing poker on his bed beside him. To a pillow half over his face where Emily mindlessly dropped it - conjuring a slight smirk at the thought of her smothering him while trying to keep him alive. The caught look on Reid’s face every time Hotch woke up and saw him, youthfully guilty of something. Wedged between Reid’s propped up knee, his voice steady as he read aloud from his book, and Emily’s face smushed into his shoulder he didn’t have a single nightmare.

His back hits the bottom of the river and he thrashes, panicking to pull himself up. He’s thrown against a rock by the current. Grunting as his temple cracks against a rock and going listlessly with the current. A ragdoll.

“You can’t go in!”

One time there was these double-booked out of town meetings. Hotch was supposed to go for the brass, the pure intent of just following orders. At the same time, headed in the same direction, Emily and Derek went off for interviews. The day before Hotch left he was informed that they’d all be taking one car, together. Four days. One car. Two grueling meetings. It was the worst four days of his life, honestly. Worse than being stabbed. Being shot has nothing on listening to Derek and Emily fight in the car for three days over everything and anything.

He never did that again.

Now Reid takes those trips with them.

It’s only fitting, it’s that awful trio that drags him out of the water.

Derek spitting river water out of his mouth as frequently as curses. “Just tell me where you see him goddammit!” He’s swimming against the current, fighting how quickly it pulls him away from where he needs to be. Tries to deny the fear in his stomach. For fear of what’s in this water. He saw the blood. Can still sees wisps of it now drifting around him.

Emily stands on the shore, out in the water to her shins trying to see. Above her Reid calls out but it’s just another branch, not Hotch. She knows it’s going to have to be her. It makes her chest ache, more than it does to see tendrils of dark blood marking Hotch’s path. But it’s her. She’s the one that’s going to have to call Derek out of the water. To tell him it’s pointless. That… That this time they’re not all coming home.

“I see him!” Reid has binoculars up to his face but he’s pointing out. “Morgan turn around!”

She searches where he points, eyes scanning up and down the bank. Looking for a head of black hair or his bright white t-shirt.

“I see him!”

She doesn’t. She doesn’t see him.

Morgan tears off through the water. He’s lost the ease in which he worked through the water upon first getting in. When Reid first pointed to where he thought he saw Hotch. His muscle scream, agony flicking through each movement but he has to move. He has to get there.

Emily’s heart drops when she sees Derek’s head go under the water. One. Two. Three-- How long does it take to find a grown man in a river? She puts her hand over her eyes, looking up to Reid. “Where are they!” she shouts .

Reid keeps scanning, keeps looking up and down the water. “I don’t--” Derek comes up, gasping but with a second head. Hotch. Bleeding, limp, but there. Found. “I see them! He’s up!” He points out into the water, stepping closer to the edge.

Emily runs through the water, ignores the chill until she’s in to her hips and wading through to get to Morgan. Hotch is passed between them, his cold skin pressed against her. His head rocks when Morgan lays him against her shoulder, moves him until his cold wet temple rests against face. What startles her the most as the river’s current tries to rip him from her arms is when she realizes she can’t feel him breathing.

She trips, falls hard on her ass. The rocks just slipping out from underneath her until she’s trying to grab at one to keep herself rooted here at the bank. He nearly slips away.

“Emily!” Derek has him. She looks up, blinking river water from her eyes, and Morgan’s got him. One arm around his hips, just barely keeping him there.

“He’s not breathing,” she manages. “I couldn’t-- He’s not. He’s not breathing.”

Reid meets them at the bank, hands going everywhere but not managing a thing. “Set him down gently--” he grimaces at how hard Hotch lands out on his back. Derek only guarantees that he doesn’t smack his head on any rock, just a wet hard fall into the mud. Reid leans over Hotch, ear to his chest as waits for something. All he hears is a bird in the trees mocking sounds and the rush of the river behind them.

“Is he--” Derek falls down beside him squeezing Hotch’s fingers. “Is he dead?”

Reid leans closer, presses down harder. “No, he’s--” Reid sits up, “Hotch?” He rubs his fist up and down Hotch’s sternum, patting Hotch's face with the other. “Hotch! Hotch get up!”

Faintly, Hotch’s lip part, slowly pulling down into a grimace until he can push at Reid’s hand. He gags, choking on water as he struggles to breathe. He’s hauled upright, Derek grabbing him by fistfuls of his shirt until he’s laying on his side. Sputtering and coughing water-- it burns his nose, nearly comes back in around each inhale he’s forced to take.

“Son of a bitch.”

Hotch falls back, kept up by Derek’s hand pulling him in and the knees Emily places at his back.

His blood has spread out onto the mud, and he hisses, groans in pain when Reid places his fingers against the bleeding wound on his neck. Watered down it slips between Reid’s fingers, hardly crimson at all. “Wa-- Waters freezing,” he rasps.

Derek chuckles, shaking his head. With a sigh he falls back into the mud, laying there as he struggles to catch his breath. “It was.” He looks over at the others, at Reid's worry-pinched face and Emily’s smile and relaxes. The sun will have them warmed up in no time. They’ll be fine.

#criminal minds #aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #derek morgan #spencer reid #criminal minds fanfiction

44 notes · View notes