#and she needs to be with villanelle anyways

[adelstitel]

eve polastri is the worst wife of all time I love her but I can’t handle watching her treat that poor man like this 😭😭

[she-is-27-i-checked]

It's bloody well your turn, 27! Top 10 hottest fictional women/people of all time?! 😁

Well well well... If it isn't the ask I was going to answer whether anyone asked me or not. 😂

Some would call me "over prepared", "unable to count" or just plain "thirsty"... and they would all be correct.

So let's do this...

1. Ava Silva - Warrior Nun

I tried to limit myself to one character per work of fiction and this was the hardest one to narrow down from simply ALL OF THEM. EVERY SINGLE WOMAN IN WARRIOR NUN IS AN ABSOLUTE SMOKE SHOW. This is helped, considerably by the fact that they all can, and would, snap my neck. Woof. But I made myself choose. So here we go. (SorryBeaSorryLillithSorryMummySupesSorrySexyDoctorJillianSorryTheAbsoluteDeityOfHotnessThatIsShotgunMary!!!)

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

2. Bette Porter - The L Word. She's a legend for a reason. If you're ever having a bad day just hit up YouTube and find a super cut of Bette Porter swearing. Never fails. 16 year old me would turn myself inside out for this woman. (37 year old me probably still would too, who am I kidding)

Exhibit A

3. Jane Rizzoli - Rizzoli and Isles. See the last 6 months of this blog for my complete derangement facilitated by doomsday luring me over here from Supercorp. Yes we know Angie Harmon is kind of evil, yes we do still very much want to get under it anyway. Black button up supremacy!

Exhibit A

4. Bo Dennis -Lost Girl. It's Anna Silk? Playing a pansexual succubus who needs to have lots of sex or she dies?? And did I mention it is Anna Silk?? Just an amazing sex-pollen crack fic come to actual life.

Exhibit A

5. Carson Shaw - A League of Their Own. Ok, I will admit to being severely under-medicated when this show came out. And that was probably a factor in me going absolutely BATSHIT FERAL for Abby Jacobson in this role. The dimples? The arms? The cheeky little smile and the innocent little face. Urrrggghh. I. Just. Want. To. Squish. Her.

Exhibit GAY:

6. Faith - BtVS. One of the first hotties to penetrate this prickly exterior. She's a smoke show. Everyone knows it, especially her. When she swaggers in to season 7 after busting out of jail to stop the apocalypse ? ((Chef's kiss))

We present to the bench m'lord

7. Stella Gibson - The Fall. Urghhhhhhhh. Look. It's Gillian Fucking Anderson playing the most sexually liberated, yet morally dubious character we've ever seen. She wears suits. She tells men to fuck off. She drinks wine like she's making slow love to it. SHE KISSES ARCHI PANJABI.

If it pleases the court

Exhibit B

8. Jane the Vicar - Collateral. Ok, this one is maybe out of left field but I needed Nicola Walker on my list and I narrowed it down to This Nicola Walker because a) canonically (heh) gay and b) vicar's outfit (ok sue me). She also maintains that pathetic wet cat of a woman vibe that she does so well while being slightly less depressing than in Scott and Bailey.

The prosecution rests

9. Debbie / Lou in Ocean's 8. Yes. I know I'm breaking my own rule. Shut up. It was going to just be Debbie but I was looking at the evidence and it really is the pair of them together where the magic happens. We've seen both these actors be depressingly unsexy in other things (sorry. *cough*Carol*cough*) but in this they Just Eye Fuck for 2 hours and it's AMAZING.

Exhibit A

10. Villanelle - Killing Eve. Show me one woman who does not want to be murdered intimately by Villanelle and I'll show you a fucking liar. I present her 2 best looks for the jury...

Exhibit 1 - the suit and tie and ring a ding ding situation...

Exhibit 2 - the cable knit that rewired my ovaries and made me genuinely want to have little murderous babies for her.

10a. Commander Lexa - The 100. Gone but never forgotten. Continuing a pattern of brunette, lethal and soft as a kitten's arsehole for one specific blonde woman.

Honourable mentions...

M'lady

Mare of Eastown!! Every time a male show runner tries to make a beautiful woman less beautiful by mucking her up a bit I howl at her for a decade.

Diana Leatherby in Tipping the Velvet. I read the book at the tender age of 16. When I say I will never see a wooden chair the same way I mean it. Anna Chancellor in the BBC adaptation is only maybe 70% the hottie my brain cooked up tho.

Root and Shaw in Person of Interest - lost out because I couldn't choose between them!

Alex Danvers in Supergirl. Chyler Leigh is hot as fuck in this role, especially with her shaved hair. But I haven't watched enough of the actual show to judge her personality. I get the impression she becomes a bit of a cunt....

Mickey Knight in the JM Redmann books. Excluded because no one will have heard of her but lives in my heart and sexy musing forever. 🔥😘

[rita-repulsa-ke]

Blood Oath - Ch 1

Eve was spending her last moments noticing inconsequential details, like that the murderous creature about to kill her had a pretty Slavic accent and surprisingly soft hands. She must moisturize.

Fic Premise: Eve is a vampire hunter. Villanelle is a vampire.

Chapter 1 - The Vampire Hunter

“You do it,” Raptor told Villanelle as they watched the camera feeds, where a woman was creeping around in the part of the catacombs where no humans were meant to be.

“Noooo,” she whined, though she was noticing that the woman on the camera did have very nice hair, the kind she liked, thick and dark and wavy. Still, she was grouchy from weeks of being unable to her job and she didn't feel like doing anyone any favors. “Too boring. You said she is a rookie, right? Some baby vampire hunter? It is beneath me.”

“Except you’re the reason she got this close in the first place. If you weren’t so sloppy with your kills…”

She yawned performatively. “Send Nadia. She needs the practice.”

“I’ll tell Konstantin how she got in.”

Villanelle slammed him up against the wall with enough force that, had he been human, he would have gained a nasty concussion at best. Then she repeated that action a few times, pulling him back and slamming him into the wall while he struggled helplessly in her grip.

“Fine,” she finally said, her face too close to his. “I will go and clean up. But if you threaten me again, I will forget that we are siblings.” Her claws dug into the side of his neck until they drew blood, and she released her grip to lean in and gather it on her tongue, the familiar, heady taste she hadn't had in weeks. Then she spun on her heel and stalked out.

Fine, she would find this little vampire hunter and kill her. But first, she would have some fun.

****

Eve was not lost. She was definitely not lost in the vampire-infested Paris catacombs. She’d just gotten turned around.

All she was supposed to do was place a few beacons and get out. Only there had been a trail of blood and then the secret door in the wall, and before she’d questioned whether she should be doing this, she’d gone through it and now she was—

Well, it was impossible to be lost if the place you were in wasn’t on the map, right?

She shone her flashlight around and flinched back as she saw something on the floor, a huddled, dark shape—

A body.

She edged closer and shone her flashlight straight down. It was a woman with dark, curly hair, around her age.

That made the third one this month.

“Boo.”

Eve shrieked, spun, grabbing for the stake at her waist, the light bouncing crazily off the crypt walls to show her—nothing.

A hand wrapped around her throat from behind. “Hello there,” someone purred and Eve, knowing she was already dead, froze, listened to the rush of blood in her ears, and then—

Dropped the stake and held up her hands.

“Did you kill her?” she asked.

Her unseen assailant, hand still curled around Eve’s neck, took a moment to answer. “I did,” she admitted. ”She was very loud.” Then, “I like your hair.”

Eve was spending her last moments noticing inconsequential details, like that the murderous creature about to kill her had a pretty Slavic accent and surprisingly soft hands. She must moisturize.

“Why, um, I mean—“

“Hmm?”

“You seem to have a type.”

That prompted soft, mocking laughter from behind her. “One you are noticing you fall into, hmm?”

“Oh. Do I?” Eve said, aware of how strained her voice had gotten. "I hadn't actually noticed."

“Yes. But do not worry, I was going to kill you anyway.”

“Right. Of course. …Any chance you could not kill me, instead?” It had to be worth a try.

To her absolute shock, the hand on her neck released. Then, before she could draw in a full breath, it slipped under her belt, tearing it free from her body with inhuman strength and throwing it into the darkness. She could hear the sound of glass vials of holy water smashing against the stone walls.

Great.

“Flashlight,” the stranger said and Eve instinctively held onto it tighter. There was no natural light down here. If she gave it up, she would be completely blind.

“I’d rather not—“

A hand lifted her by the throat from behind, cutting off her air effortlessly. She struggled, kicking helplessly, then as the world started to go strangely fuzzy at the edges, gave in and dropped the flashlight.

The pressure released at once, dropping her awkwardly back to earth as her attacked snatched the flashlight and—

The crunching sounds, alongside the sudden lack of light, told a very clear story. And now she was in the dark, a deeper dark than the one behind closed eyes, making her strangely dizzy and disoriented.

“Now what?” she asked, her voice very small.

“Now you run.”

She stopped and thought about that for a whole second, then shook her head, aware of how disorienting that motion was in the complete dark. It felt like she had lost some innate connection to her body, as if she weren't sure where all the pieces were. “Like hell I will. If you’re going to kill me, go ahead. I’m not stumbling around in the dark playing the most dangerous game.”

“The what?”

“You know, hunting humans for sport.”

“There are much more dangerous games.” Fingers ran suddenly through her hair, the vampire somehow behind her again. Eve flinched but didn’t move away. She could take a little creepy petting if it prolonged her life. “You are in such a hurry to die.”

“No. Not even a little. But come on, you didn’t even leave me the flashlight. There’s no hope. You should have at least made me think I could win.” Despite herself, the whole thing was starting to annoy Eve. She refused to bumble around in the dark while a predator who could have killed her effortlessly in broad daylight watched and laughed.

“…Are you lecturing me?”

Eve thought about that. “I guess I am. But surely this wouldn’t even be fun for you?”

“It is fun. A little.” There was a speculative tone in the other woman’s voice. “But maybe I should have let you keep the flashlight.”

“That’s what I’m saying! If you want to hunt someone for sport, you’ve got to keep their hope alive as long as possible before you crush it out at the end.”

“….That is very twisted. What did you say your name was?”

“Oh. It’s Eve.”

“Eve.” The vampire repeated, savoring the word and Eve was aware that her stock of bravado was beginning to run low. She couldn’t quite stop herself from trembling.

She mostly liked being Eve. She had hoped she would get to continue for a while longer.

“Maybe I will keep you,” the other woman murmured.

That threw Eve. “Like a hamster?”

“Like a blood doll.”

She couldn’t quite suppress a shudder. “Do I get a vote?”

A huff of laughter in the dark. “Okay, yes, you can have a vote.”

“I think I’d prefer death.” She’d been with the task force long enough to have seen blood dolls, barely human, anemic, malnourished and worst of all, utterly addicted to the vampire that had bitten them. They generally died not long after ‘rescue’.

Not all of them. Some of them lived. Some of them started vampire hunting task forces. But enough that Eve didn’t love the odds. And all of that was assuming a very unlikely rescue.

“Booooring,” the other woman complained, still somewhere behind Eve, playing with her hair.

One last chance. She had a guess where the vampire was, from her voice and the contact. She had one last hold-out weapon.

Do or die, she thought and spun, sliding the stake from her sleeve into her hand, smoother than she’d ever done in practice, and trying to plunge it into—

A hand effortlessly caught her wrist. “Woooow. Is this your first day? You are very bad at that.”

Heat flooded Eve’s cheeks. “Hey, you may be about to kill me, but you don’t have to be a complete asshole about it.”

Fingers tightened on her wrist, crushing into bone. “Drop it.”

She did, sucking in a breath at the pain and then wondering if it was going to be her last.

“This is really beneath me,” the vampire complained. “You are not worth killing.”

Wow, she was arrogant even for a vampire. But Eve would take any possible way out. “You could consider letting me go?” she tried. “I’ll probably get better.”

A cold hand caressed her cheek and she flinched back, hyperventilating in the dark. “I could. You could come back with Martens and her pitiful task force and I could kill all of them.” All of the blood had drained from Eve’s face. “But then I will get lectured. Villanelle, why did you risk the lair, Villanelle, stop doing anything fun, that sort of thing.”

“…Villanelle? Is that your name?”

There was a moment of silence near her. “It is,” the other woman agreed. “Now we have made proper introductions.”

“Right,” Eve said, a touch hysterical. “Glad that we’re observing etiquette. Hey, before you kill me, can I ask? Why the women who, well—“

“Look like you?”

"…Yeah.”

“They look like someone I loved a long time ago, someone who broke my heart. That is all.”

“…Oh. Sorry," Eve said, trying to act as though that was a normal thing for someone to say.

“Mm. Yes. It was very sad.”

“So no chance I get out of this alive, huh?” Eve asked.

“No. If it helps, you are very lucky to be killed by me.” Those fingers pushed through her hair and Eve let herself lean into the touch. Why not? She was going to die. She should just accept—

She felt Villanelle begin to lower her head, passing too close to Eve's cheek and shoved her away as hard as she could, took two terrifying, stumbling steps into pitch-black.

She did not want to die. Even knowing there was no chance, she had to try.

"See?" Villanelle said in the dark. "They always run."

"Can I at least get a head-start?" Eve said, aware that she was likely going to break her leg or end up going in a circle,

But she had to try. She wanted to go home. She wanted to see Niko. She wanted to tell Carolyn was quitting. She wanted to call her mom and get a lecture about how she never called.

She wanted to live.

"Sure," Villanelle said. "You can have…"

She trailed off as Eve fumbled her way toward a wall. Her fingers scraped stone and then—

Then something slammed into her. She felt her ribs crack as she hit the ground, tasted blood and bile and animal terror in her mouth as fangs pierced her throat.

"No!" she heard Villanelle snarl, somewhere in the dark. "Mine!!"

And then the weight lifted off her chest, and there was a sound like cats squalling and bones breaking.

She put one hand to her throat.

That was a lot of blood. The big vein, she thought dizzily, tried to remember her first aid training. How many minutes—

It didn't matter. The time left was measured in minutes.

Had she told Niko she loved him when she'd left today?

Did she love him?

Why did she always have to be so damned curious?

Something touched the side of her neck, a cool hand against her skin and a voice above her murmured a curse word in Russian. "Drink," someone—Villanelle—insisted, pressing something to her lips. She parted them on instinct, then gagged as the coppery taste of blood flooded her mouth.

"Come on, it will heal you," Villanelle insisted and Eve tried to say something in response, but her lips were numb. Her fingers were numb. Also her toes, a spreading, miserable numbness.

She wanted to tell the vampire she was scared, but she couldn't even form the words.

She swallowed once, reflexive, and then died.

****

When she woke up, she had the worst headache of her life and a gnawing, desperate hunger in the pit of her stomach. She opened her eyes to find she could see again, probably due to the fluorescent lights directly above her.

A very familiar face peered down at her. "Eve?! You're awake!"

"Kenny?!" she said, staring up at a face she’d never expected to see again. "We thought you died! I went your funeral!”

The younger man bit his lip. "…Yeah, well, I mean…"

Eve stared at the teeth against his lip. Or rather, the fangs.

"…Oh," she said.

"Yeah. …Maybe we don't mention this to mum?"

"Sure. Right. What happened?! I was attacked by a vampire—or two vampires? There was a really annoying one…"

"I assume that is not me," said the same Slavic accent she remembered from before, as a woman strode into the room, taking up space, commanding attention as she stared down at Eve. She was young—well, probably she wasn't, but she looked young, made even younger by wearing a quizzical expression as she studied Eve, as though Eve was a math problem she didn't know how to solve.

"You tried to save me," Eve remembered. "Vampire blood does have healing properties. I guess it worked?" But that also meant she was in a vampire lair, so her future prospects were still rather—she looked between Kenny and Villanelle, both of them looking at her like they needed to break the news of a terminal diagnosis.

"…It didn't work," she said.

"Eve," Kenny said. "There's something you need to kn—"

Very slowly and with the feeling that she was trapped in a bad dream she would wake up from at any moment, Eve slid a finger into her mouth and almost cut herself on a razor-sharp fang.

"…Fuck," she said.

Villanelle nodded, perching on the edge of what seemed to be a bed, in what looked like an oddly well-appointed clinic. "I did not intend for this," she admitted, looking rather at a loss.

"Well," Eve said. "So I'm a vampire. That's better than being dead, right?"

"Yes," Kenny said.

"But not for long," Villanelle said.

Kenny flinched. "Yeah. So…vampires have rules about siring other vampires. Mostly that you're not supposed to do it without permission," he said.

"Ah," Eve said, catching on to the situation even though she desperately wished she could have a quiet minute alone and a handful of aspirin. "So I'm going to be a vampire for about ten minutes before I'm murdered by other vampires?"

Villanelle nodded, though her expression was still like someone trying to do algebraic conversions in her head. "That's too bad," Eve said. "You know, I always thought I would make a good vampire."

"That's what I was telling them!" Kenny said. "You didn't like other people even when you were human."

"I liked some people…" Eve protested despite herself.

Both of the vampire's—other vampire's—attention had shifted away from her, though, toward the door.

A portly man with a beard strolled in and Eve was hit by twin impressions. The stranger immediately struck her as slimy and untrustworthy, but she also had a strange instinct that told her she was in the room with bigger, stronger predator. She resisted a completely unnatural urge to bare her teeth and do some kind of threat display.

"Villanelle, Villanelle, Villanelle," the man said, shaking his head with a mix of fondness and disappointment, like a favored uncle scolding his niece. "This is sloppy even for you."

Villanelle shrugged, an indifferent lift of one shoulder. "Diego should not have attacked my prey."

"We can deal with Diego, if he even survives. But this—" he gave her a look of gentle pity that Eve was sure he didn't feel at all. "You know we have to clean this up."

"Hi!" Eve said, pitching her voice too loud. "My name is Eve, not this."

The stranger didn't spare her a glance. She looked at Kenny, who gave her the awkward smile of someone who had never liked conflict or standing up to people. She suspected she wasn't going to get much help from that quarter, whatever was going on there. So all of her hope rested on a woman who had been going to poorly hunt her for sport.

Eve tried to think of something, anything, she could say to appeal to the other woman. She really wished she knew more about Villanelle than that she had a weird hair fetish and killed people who looked like her ex, a category which apparently included Eve.

"I want to keep her," Villanelle said, seeming to decide in real-time.

The 'her' in question stared, dumbfounded.

The bearded man shook his head. "Not allowed. You know the rules."

"But I want to," Villanelle said, easing off the bed while Eve watched, unsure of where this sudden defense was coming from.

The stranger tsked. "Villanelle, do not be stubborn about this," he coaxed. "I know you have been bored and cooped up, that is my fault, I will find you something more fun to do. Do you want to go shopping? Or hunting, hmm? I can find you more interesting toys to play with."

"Hey, fuck you, I'm very interesting," Eve muttered and once again was roundly ignored.

"Konstantin, are you going deaf? Old age is finally catching up with you?" Villanelle said, shaking her head with mock-pity. "I said, I want to keep her."

Konstantin's teeth bared for a moment, the predator coming out from behind the kindly old grandfather and Eve recoiled. Villanelle didn't move, arms across her chest.

"Only think what your sire would say," Konstantin said and that did get a reaction, a blur of motion that resolved into Villanelle holding the front of Konstantin's shirt with enough force it looked like it might tear.

"Why don't you wake her up and ask?" she snarled, her teeth bared.

"Sic 'em, tiger!" Eve cheered, and was then aware of everyone in the room turning to stare at her. "…Suddenly now I'm audible," she said.

Villanelle rolled her eyes, but turned her attention back to Konstantin, releasing him and smoothing down his shirt. "We do not have to fight about this," she said, then added, "But if we do, we both know that I will win."

All of Konstantin's kindly old man charm had faded away, leaving something much colder behind. Eve found she preferred that, it felt more honest. "Your siblings will not like it."

Villanelle gave him a bright, girlish smile. "They are welcome to tell me that themselves."

Konstantin watched her for a long moment, then broke into another of those warm, paternal grins, which made Eve's skin crawl. "Fine. You can have her, you deserve something, you have been so good lately!" He clapped his hands on Villanelle's shoulders and she gave them a mildly contemptuous glance. "But, remember, Villanelle. She is your responsibility."

"Don't worry," Eve said quickly. "I won't be any trouble at all."

[arainaizevran]

10 characters | 10 fandoms | 10 a negotiable number of tags

tagged by @mathlann yay thank you!!

there may be a recurring theme with some of the characters but let's not unpack all of that. also after the 5th placement, they're all tied in my heart okay?

franziska von karma - ace attorney. THEEEE favourite character of all time ever since the first word she says: "revenge." i could write 10 paragraphs of everything i love about her but i'll save you all from that. but perhaps the best thing about her is that she breaks the cycle without even knowing it, and proves herself a better person than her father without compromising her identity. <3

childe - genshin impact. also loved this guy upon his very first appearance. a character who got into a traumatic situation when he was young and gained eldritch powers because of it? and nevertheless remained an optimistic person? but also wants to gain strength and power at all costs? say less!

wyll ravengard - baldur's gate 3. ummm need i say more? fine, fine. he's so charming and handsome and dork supreme and king of whimsy, but most importantly, he's kind, despite everything he's been through. it takes an enormous amount of strength to remain hopeful and kind, and a lot of people (unfortunately) overlook that. also his character trope--paladin-coded warlock--is so so interesting and--[gets dragged off the stage]

shiv roy - succession. she's so sucks!!!! i love you selfish and arrogant babygirl who not only has daddy issues, but has mommy issues too. i love you shiv who would do anything for power and is the most like her father and gets trapped in the cycle anyways!!!

azula - avatar the last airbender. azula did nothing wrong.

severa - fire emblem: awakening. i love you insecure babygirl who overcompensates for everything by being abrasive. who feels like she's living in the shadow of her perfect mother. who ends up just like her mother in a darker timeline, protecting the exalt in an (un)requited love (lucisev truther btw)

jinx - arcane. i like her in the game but i love her in this series. i was really astounded with her character, what happened to her as powder and her parallels with her sister vi, and how she became the jinx we all know and love

mako mori - pacific rim. i love her dynamics with stacker and with raleigh ;___; also her sparring scene was soooo gooooood. the entire movie is just great, favourite of all time

claire - fleabag. i love claire's entire character and her juxtaposition with her sister fleabag, who's a mess. eldest daughter energy. learns to be selfish and pursue what she truly loves instead of maintaining her reputation at the expense of her well-being. also i just really love ambitious over-achieving characters

eve polastri - killing eve. i'm ignoring season 4 but god, i love the way her character changes throughout the series. she's so enthralled with villanelle and she hides it under the guise of pursuing an assassin but really she's so fascinated by her and it leads to her ruin as she keeps pursuing her with no regard for anything or anyone else in her life.

tagging, if you like - @bladeofavernus @droodle-bug @landlordevil @katagawajr @courierseis @targaryeirene and whoever else wants to do this :3c

[antitheticaally]

I like speaking in asks better (like letters!) so lemme just yap

I love villanelle so villanelle focused I will eat up I’m just afraid they will make her like…remorseful. Like no I prefer her crazy (what’s that say about me lmao someone do an analysis)

but Fr it feels dishonest to her character like she’s literally a psychopath

I do know the ending and FUCK the ending. Like wdym your gonna kill villanelle wdymmm that’s so stupid. I might watch the third season and then just say they’res not a 4th season cause numerous people have told me that it ruined the series for them. Or perhapsssss I will just watch the first season again

I do really like the second season tho just for like. The kills? Like the doll guy (🤢) and Raymond (wit the ax! Frothing at the mouth) and just all so good.

and then they killed Kenny and I was like •_• what the hell. Why are you gonna do him like that

anyway it’s literally so good I need to force someone to watch it with me immediately

oh my god i just tried to type this all in my phone and it VANISHED before i could post it so i'm trying again???

like letters!!! oh i love that.

okay okay okay SO idk how you will feel about season three then. i'm very curious. it's definitely very villanelle centric, but they do make her.... softer? i guess? more emotional? I wouldn't necessarily classify it as remorseful, so much as her being like, tired and fed up with everyone using and manipulating her for their own gain her whole life and like, to what end?? but it could definitely be taken as remorse in some instances so... hmm. that's just my opinion though.

I also totally prefer her crazy. I love a hot woman who could murder me at any given moment so no judgement here lol. BUT I am not. Entirely convinced that she is a psychopath. Now hear me and my psychology student delusions out for a moment, I definitely think she has anti-social personality disorder (the official DSM-5 diagnosis that psychopathy comes from) but I think she leans more towards sociopathy than psychopathy for a few reasons. That I will not get into right now. BUT I COULD DO AN ENTIRE PSYCHOANALYSIS OML.

seriously FUCK the ending (and fuck killing kenny too, my boy deserved better than that) literally WHAT was the point.

don't watch season four. you will HATE the beginning of season 4 especially if you hate the idea of villanelle being remorseful at all. they really went off the rails and butchered both her and eve's characters it makes no sense especially from where they leave off in season three.

literally the only thing in season four worth watching are a select few scenes between eve and vil during the last episode, including and absolutely beautiful kiss scene. but literally JUST GOOGLE IT and spare yourself the rest. or i will literally hand record all the scenes remotely worth watching and inbox them to you. straight up.

i have the (unpopular???) opinion of season two maybe being my favorite? i just adore the dynamics of eve and vil trying to work together, and vil just looks. incredible. that whole season. (the axe scene!!!!! the axe scene makes me INSANE.)

anywhoooo it's a beautiful show and please continue to yap. always. anytime. <3

[thedeal-if]

We've had short mcs’, but how about the ro’s reaction to a mc taller than them? Their human form anyway, haha!

Ooh! Tall MC 🙏🏻 I remember that one ask wondered about the RO's reaction to short MC trying to kiss them. I'll add a couple of lines about their own attempt to kiss MC (I don't like giving short answers ☹️ and some of the ROs are very indifferent to height).

ROs heights reference

Dante is so annoyed at first (he used to be the tall one y'know, he'll make sure to remind MC), but little by little he starts to slowly come to terms with the fact that he finds MC's height incredibly attractive. There's nothing he can do about it. Dante is stubborn and determined when he wants something. Seeing as he can't quite reach MC's lips (he really wants to), Dante would scheme quietly as soon as the urge is presented to him. He's never been known for having the best ideas, and he's never been capable of fully committing to them. When Dante's frustration with himself peaks, so does the irrational anger, and he marches over to MC, either to snap his request for a kiss or to pull them down himself.

Lilith likes short, tall, average people. She can find the pros and cons of any kind of person. Lilith uses all sorts of heels, which makes her height quite variable. She would utilize that asset to her advantage, to feel closer to MC whenever their height seems to distance her from them. In terms of kissing, Lilith is never shy to ask. She might do so coyly, but it's all playful fun. Lilith knows exactly what she's doing when it comes to matters of the heart (and other kinds of matters too), and, sometimes, she enjoys giving up control to MC.

Josh has always been shorter than MC, ever since they were children, and so it's fact he's never really dwelled on. Josh isn't exactly short either. Kissing is something Josh doesn't plan per se, but he does think about it (a lot). If the moment feels right, he might reach out, cup the back of MC's neck and pray that they understand and do the rest. Impulsiveness is something Josh doesn't like doing, though. He might run away even if his attempt is successful.

Villanelle isn't even surprised that MC is taller than her. It's a literal pain in the neck sometimes, but she's managed so far with all the partners she's ever had. She likes the coexistence it provokes. The tall one takes care of tall people things, like picking up things from shelves, etc. When it comes to initiating kisses, she's at a middle point between Lilith's assertiveness and Josh's shyness. With her height, she knows she shouldn't even attempt to kiss MC, so she asks instead for them to lean down, being as indirect as possible, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment and anticipation.

Victor is just like *shrug*. He doesn't really care if he's taller or if someone else is. There are more important things to life than height, and some of the best fighters he's met (the only kind of people he respects) weren't that tall, to begin with. Surprisingly (even to him), Victor does get the sudden urge to kiss MC, though he might not understand why. He knows he's allowed to act on those urges, that it's okay, but Victor wouldn't want to be in a rush about it. He never acts on whims. Victor kisses like it's an afterthought. He might tell himself now and casually tug on MC's collar until they're leaning down.

Aliyah is used to being taller than most people, so it definitely annoys her when MC is taller than her. Height is something that has always given her leverage over humans, something empowering. Aliyah would briefly think about wearing heels before giving up on the idea. It would kill her if people knew she was affected by petty things like this. She would never be caught dead trying (and failing) to kiss MC, too. Aliyah's need and attempts to instill control carefully balance her obvious lack of it. She's a contradiction. Bold and measured. Hot and cold. If Aliyah wants to kiss MC she would try and make them believe it was their idea all along.

Nathan is surprised, but he would be so cheeky about the entire thing. The height difference between them is most likely minimal, yet he pretends it's abysmal. Nathan pouts and asks MC to pick things up for him, he whines that his neck hurts. He rarely feels shame, but he loves trying to make other people flustered. Nathan wraps his arms around MC's neck, pouting, edging them to take action with his eyes.

Eden doesn't like that her neck hurts sometimes when she's around MC. Those are her only opinions concerning height. MC is tall and she's not. There's little she can do about it so she isn't going to waste time complaining (heels are definitely out of the question). If Eden wants a kiss, she's determined to get one and put that desire into action. The easiest way is for MC to sit, so Eden either tugs on their arm or points to a nearby surface that might suffice. It doesn't even cross her mind that she can just ask MC to do it themselves.

I just realized Dante's answers are always longer than the others' 😅 I guess everyone has a favourite child.

I've had to rewrite this 7 times because Tumblr refused to save it. This is why I have trust issues.

[juniperhillpatient]

alright - ‘Orphan: First Kill’ immediate review:

disclaimer: I went into this movie with no trailers or prior knowledge other than having seen the first movie awhile ago.

also, let’s get this out of the way - it was never going to be as good as the first movie, which was iconic. & there was no vera farmiga so that’s automatic totally unfair points against this prequel. also, isabelle fuhrman is a conventionally beautiful adult woman & the film did what it could but she was never going to truly be believable as a 9 year old. in some ways that adds to the atmosphere maybe for some people. for me, it was always going to be unintentionally funny & an annoyance.

onto this movie 🍿🎥

*I did enjoy the dialogue & cinematography (some truly iconic lines & shots toward the end especially) & I was entertained. this movie was a lot of fun & I genuinely had a blast. I was sucked right in & barely distracted by my phone which is rare for me. so like. it passed the most important movie test - I had fun.

*right off the bat the movie did some really fun stuff showing leena’s asylum experience. there’s nothing in this life that I love more than a villain protagonist & it delivered there. I love leena. she reminds me of villanelle in a way - it’s the truly sociopathic blank tendencies paired with the knowledge that this character has deep trauma & a fantastic performance by the actress I guess!

*I would’ve liked the twist if it was set up just a tiny bit more cleverly. they could’ve done a few small things differently & this could’ve been really smartly set up. unfortunately, they tried a bit too hard to be surprising over smart & cohesive & it bit them in the ass & led to jarring & a bit dumb imo.

*that said I guess I liked the new characters. it just seemed like the writers couldn’t decide what they wanted to do. IF you’re going to introduce these new characters & their complex & interesting dynamics, dive into that. if you’d rather focus on leena, do that. the movie felt a bit disjointed & insecure to me - like it wasn’t sure it liked what it was doing, you know?

*also - again this goes back to me diving in with no prior knowledge because I’m about to criticize the very premise - leena is a very interesting character with a fascinating background. maybe they should’ve focused on her life in estonia, before the asylum. or they could’ve spent more time at the asylum. at least they could’ve done the plot twist sooner. my issue is that the movie spent a LOT of time rehashing the exact plot of the first movie. we get it, leena has daddy issues. maybe they could’ve shown her actual childhood & her dad to explain that in a prequel. there was no need to spend such a huge amount of time on leena thirsting after the dad which is exactly what the main focus of the first film is. like. we’ve already seen her do that. show us something new you know?

Anyway!

it seems like I hated the movie probably cause i do have some glaring criticisms lol

I really liked it though actually. I was entertained, I had a lot of fun, I just had ✨thoughts ✨

alright that’s all I have on that for now

[merevide]

[lesbiangracehanson]

sandra oh is truly the only person whose thoughts on eve i care about at this point + her saying that eve became ‘truer and more whole’ over the 4 seasons, through her experiences + her relationship with villanelle, feels like a bit of closure tbh

[turtleneckseve]

if you’ve followed me for a while then you know i lack faith

but even still i’m worried i’ve ruined s4 for myself for imagining things that i’d think would be really cool to see and then inadvertently making said things almost become an expectation 💀

[onewomancitadel]

Actually I want to expand on the Bury Your Gays thing because it's such a specific trope. It's not just killing gay characters, it's because you can't endorse happy endings with gay characters and need to explicitly punish/condemn the couple so no one gets the wrong idea (this is why morally instructive art is bad). When it's repeated even without those intentions it can look like the same thing because it hasn't been interrogated (or because the takeaway is that gay romance is only possible through tragic romance because that is the unconscious narrative model).

I think Villanelle's death comes less from the BYG trope (which has expressed as what effectively amounts to 'whump' and definitely fed into people actively searching for tragic gay romance - this is why I don't think LGBT+ writers are 'more likely' to write happy endings anyway) and genuinely more to do with the subversive/irreverent tone of the show. Shock horror, she died. Omggg. It's tone deaf and silly more than anything.

That plus happy endings aren't always appropriate. It's just a weird time to be in where happy endings are categorically considered twee, narrative cynicism is rife, subversion for the sake of subversion is king, but also you do get something like Eve/Villanelle (even if they tried for plausible deniability in marketing) which is, by design, not the same as a straight pairing and itself unusual. But then again the idea that happy ending romance is too common is... a whole tin of worms. Tragic romance is probably more common than not. Fucking Tristan and Iseult, Romeo and Juliet. Come on.

When I watched the first and later second seasons of Killing Eve, I remember very vividly my takeaway from both being: I like this much too much for it to end well or in a way I'll probably find satisfying. I didn't watch the third season (procrastination) and by the time the next one rolled around I heard about the (book-deviating) ending. So I was about right.

I kind of want to read the books to see if they contextualise the happy ending differently in contrast to the show, but I mostly feel a sort of melancholic, somewhat detached longing for it. I love romance which completely throws a character's life into frenzy, and the mixture of hair twirling giggle humour and chemistry and insanity was pitch-perfect. But I don't really think about it much because I knew that my feelings about it (a transgressive happy ending would've worked well for me - think Dani smiling into the camera in Midsommar) were a little divergent from the show. So.

[disgruntledwing]

insane how I haven’t done any killing eve fanart yet?? WIP of miss badass mf villanelle. dear lord this woman is hot. really having fun with this one!! 

[villanelesbian]

rewatch s1 and s2 with the knowledge of what we know now from 3x05 for Bonus Pain™

the tears and "psychopath is a stupid word" from 1x05. Villanelle believing Konstantin abandoned her in jail in 1x06. All the excessive gift giving. "I think about you all the time." Raymond and "she isn't thinking about you at all." her waiting for Eve in Amsterdam and Eve never showing up. Villanelle's hurt over Eve not thanking her for her help with the Ghost.

Villanelle's reaction to Eve choosing to save her from Raymond when she has never been someone's first choice (with her mom, with the twelve initially wanting Nadia, with Anna choosing her husband, with Konstantin always picking his family.) her deeply visceral response to Eve not choosing to leave with her in Rome.

the simple act of Eve mutually thinking about her is so profoundly impactful on Villanelle because no one's bothered before. she is so used to being unappreciated, not good enough, and forgotten about that merely knowing she's on Eve's mind brings about euphoria. if and when Eve chooses her will be astonishing to say the least.

[stay-outta-my-blood-circle]

I don't know how many of you have watched Killing Eve - you should, it's very good and has plenty for the slasherfucker community to salivate over - but

I'm adding Villanelle to my roster, so if you've got requests, send 'em at me!

[tunemyart]

lol anybody who:

does a murder and tries to pin it on Villanelle specifically to mess with Eve

tells Eve Polastri that she’ll never win against the forces against her

and that Villanelle will never be loyal to her

just reeks of some desperation, huh? like who the fuck do they even think they’re playing with???

[antiphon]

who else this morning is thinking about Eve Polastri’s relationship to femininity, especially in terms of how she presents herself? and how the models she gets are Carolyn, who uses expensive products so she can look hot while working all the time, and Villanelle, for whom femininity is both delight and danger all the time. the show is obviously full of the weaponizing of femininity in Villanelle (even literally: hairpin, perfume, lipstick), but I really love that scene about the pig’s placenta face cream because as Eve moves away from a conventional life, she has two models, really, and those are Villanelle and Carolyn. she’s having trouble figuring out how to live in the world outside of the conventional life she had, and I love how that’s reflected in what we know about how she and V and Carolyn present themselves. Eve is a bit of a slob, but she likes how she looks in the clothes Villanelle picks for her, and she admires Carolyn’s skin: she’s conscious of the choices they’re making about how to look, even if she hasn’t decided to mimic them and might not know how. she notices this stuff from other people and she likes seeing herself in nice things when V picks them out for her. and she explicitly associates femininity with danger when she buys that fancy dress after she stabs V! that’s by FAR the time when she’s most self-possessed in relation to how she looks and presents herself, which I LOVE. but she also dresses herself as hotel housekeeping to do crimes in the s2 finale, in an obvious reference to the Ghost (who’s closer to Eve in age and also Korean) and her less-visible model of dangerous womanhood--she literally tries on her approach (after trying on V’s “do crimes and buy fancy clothes” approach in 2x01), and Villanelle literally takes it off of her. ugh I just have a lot of feelings about characters with complicated relationships to femininity, and I feel like Eve spends a lot of time looking at and noticing it and might be drawn to it but doesn’t necessarily know how she wants to perform it herself, and with any luck this will be resolved in tandem with how she feels about like...being dangerous--they’re absolutely tethered elements of her figuring out who she’s going to be out in the world. and I love this because I think Eve’s interesting struggle isn’t about some like finding herself internal thing but about how to enact who she is in the world, and the overtly performative nature of fashion specifically (and gender more broadly) has always been tied to this for the show, but I just hadn’t put together in quite these terms the way that Carolyn and V, who are really her (not-great) models for how to be in the world, and Jin, who appears more like her in some ways, also become models of how she performs womanhood. (Well, I’m not sure we’ve seen her take on Carolyn as a model so explicitly, but admiring her performance in the work setting seems like it ought to count a little. versus Niko’s sex colleague--she’s so disdainful and eye-rolly when she rummages in the bra drawer! she was never that kind of person, but she doesn’t even have room for that kind of person anymore. but outside of the grudging date in Berlin, which is work, the only time we’ve really seen Eve use clothing as armor (that I can think of) it’s a literal bulletproof vest that she literally symbolically removes (for Villanelle reasons, not clothing-isn’t-armor-for-her reasons). the performance is more subtle than self-protection: when she emulates or goes along with Villanelle then femininity and its performance, like a lot of what’s interesting and unique and good about Killing Eve, is actually about pleasure.