#and she keeps defending her grandma's pronunciation

[scratchybeardsweetmouth]

“Merci beaucoup.” | Ted Lasso 3x01

[liiilyevans]

Next Gen Girls

Victoire

The big sister of the group

Always there to lend an ear and is the first to defend her girls when the need arises

Tries really hard not to let her cousins see her cracks (she's a lot like her dad in that way)

She teaches her little cousins (Lucy, Roxanne, and Lily) some French when they're around eight

They all end up on the floor laughing with tears in their eyes because the girls can't roll their r's well and it makes for some interesting pronunciations

She never misses a family dinner at her Grandma Molly's house

If she is not there, something is wrong

Has broken up a physical fight between her cousins before and will do it again

She is close with all the girls and doesn't really have one in particular who she's closer to

She always carves out time to talk to each of the girls and bond with them

No one dislikes Vic

They might hate her bluntness or have disagreements with her, but she does not keep receipts and all her cousins appreciate that about her

Dominique

Can you say wild child?

She's the reason Bill and Fleur have grey hairs for sure

She's two years younger than Vic and they are like night and day

Dom is the life of the party and also the family's budtender though most of the parents are unaware of this

She's very chill and loves hanging out with her cousins and gossiping

This has gotten her into trouble before

Once Rose walked in on Dom talking about her latest hook up and Rose ended up not speaking to her for over two months

She is really close with Molly

These girls are twin flames, both wild to the core

They go backpacking across Europe together after they graduate Hogwarts

Dom decides to get a tattoo while she's high and it ends up getting infected

Molly takes her to a Muggle doctor and the girls end up giggling over how cute he is

Molly

Molly is the same age as Dom, but she was born first

She is supper smart but never flashes it around

Organizes monthly girl's nights for all her cousins

Not all of them end up coming and that's ok, but they know the door is always open if they want to

If they do end up coming, she makes a bunch of 'junk food' like chips and chocolate chip cookies from scratch

She takes after her grandmother when it comes to cooking and the other girls love her for it

If Dom is the budtender, Molly is the bartender

She used to work at a bar and can do all sorts of fancy tricks when pouring shots or making drinks

One night when the girls are all together, she makes a mixed drink for each of her cousins and one for her sister and names them after each of them

Rose

The definition of the cool one

She's always off on some adventure or taking some cool vacation

She is six years younger than Vic, but they're still very close

She goes to Vic whenever she needs advice on anything from love to life to her career

The younger girls adore her and think she's the best thing since baked bread

She caught them doing weed (which they stole from Dom) once at the Burrow in the twins' old room and didn't tell the adults

Instead she grabbed them water, helped them add a little concealer so they didn't look so high, and reminded them that getting high with their parents downstairs was definitely not the best idea

Then she winked and was gone

Everyone is always shocked that Ron and Hermione produced such a chill kid

She's Healer so anytime that one of the girls end up with the slightest headache they call Rose

She pretends to be annoyed but she really loves it

Lucy

She's the quiet one

Not in the shy way but in the if you interrupt me again, I'll cut your head off way

A total bookworm

And swears like a sailor

She's the most reclusive of the Wotter girls

She's the one who comes to their sleepovers the least, even though her sister hosts them

It's not that she doesn't like them or the girls, she just values her peace and quiet

She's is six years younger than her sister and eight years younger than Vic

If any of the girls were going to pull up to a fight, they're bringing Lucy

She is tiny but mighty

Roxanne

Loudest of all the girls and definitely the most likely to accidently break something

She's the same age as Lucy, but Luce was born first

She loves the chaos that is the Burrow when all of her family members are there

Is probably the easiest of the girls to talk to and the most outgoing

Like this girl's mouth does not stop moving for a second

Are we surprised that she's really funny?

No, no one is surprised by that

She is closest with Lily, but Vic is like an older sister to her

She and Lily hang out a lot at school and once they graduate, they move in together

They definitely spend those first few years partying way too much and getting high way too often

But they grow and mature together and they're closer because of it

Lily

If you took all of Harry's bad traits and all of Ginny's bad traits and mixed them in a pot, you'd get Lily Lu

She is sarcastic and always has a comeback ready

She can also be a brat and Ginny blames Harry for that

She is the last grandchild born, three months younger than Roxanne

She has green eyes not brown, and yes, this is a hill I will die on

Loves her cousins, but can find them overbearing at times, especially Vic

When she's feeling overwhelmed, she goes to hang out with Lucy

They both appreciate the quiet and downtime

She sites the fact that she and Roxanne both have annoying older brothers as the reason they're so close

Also a wild child, but in a much more self-destructive way than Molly or Dom are

She blows through boys like they're candy, and it's especially concerning to her cousins

She's loyal though and no one is going to say a word about her family without answering to her

You can think Becky (aka @harryissuchalittleshit) for these headcanons because she asked me for them! You should send all the love her way because she is awesome!

[quincyhorst]

RedoMata HCs: Juan's life (in detail)

In a whiteboard doodle long ago, I remember saying that in my setting Juan would mix up Spain's spanish and latinamerican spanish quite a lot. I'd like to develop on that better.

----

But while he was born at Spain, Juan spent a huge chunk of elementary school living back at Mexico due to parents' work. For now, I picture him living in Morelia, one of the many mexican cities to host a bullring.

As means to keep a piece of Spain around, Juan developed a liking to playing the flamenco guitar. Having already at hand many Flamenco CDs passed on from grandparents, he'd put them on the radio and try to imitate them by hand. But eventually he'd develop his own style, with a frenetic yet moving melody inspired by the movement of horses. His own family fell in love with his music, playing it at reunions and such. But for the most part, such music remained hidden on the Zubeldia household.

Be it by the new scenario or by the culture clash, Juan had always struggled to make friends; having difficulty to reach out to others or maintain a conversation. His classmates didn't like him much either, often mocking his different accent and vocabulary. With time he got used to loneliness, avoiding most social situations as possible. Not even his family seemed to change his mind, until... When it was time to leave Mexico and go back to Spain, Juan was surprised by his grandma deciding to stay in the american continent instead. Her choice was set, but before parting she gave her grandson one final request: For him to keep sharing those beautiful melodies of his.

---

When he came back home, things got a bit complicated at first. He had been so used to the different timezones and regional vocabulary, that re-encountering the original spanish language gave him some whiplash. Pronunciating became tricky for him yet again, and so mixing up words with different meaning. Trust me, sometimes it gets that bad. Specially with the dreaded word coger.

???: Oye Juan, ¿Podrias por favor coger el balón- ("Juan, could you please grab the ball-") Juan: ¿¡COOOOOMO!? ("WHAAAAAAT!?") ???: ...Eh? Juan: ... Juan: ...Nada. Continue por favor. ("Nothing. Go on, please.")

But fortunately, and inspired by his grandma's words, sharing his flamenco skills managed to give him a place; so much so that he soon started to develop some fame. Determined, Juan later on entered the annual May Flamenco contest of Cordoba, and ended up sweeping all the other contestants despite his young age. With this, it was definitive: His community had fallen in love with his guitar skills, nowadays inviting him to local events or parties. Juan didn't mind, he was happy to finally be out of the shadows for once. But he still fell under the effects of social anxiety outside of his hobby.

As another method to fight it, Juan would start joining groups of his interests; soccer being one of them. To his surprise it was a sport he warmed up easily to, being able to be a fairly good keeper on the yearly Spanish Youth League (But not winning it nonetheless). It was on the Community Cup where his true potential finally shone, thanks to the perfect goalkeeper-defender synergy he developed alongside Rafael and Antonio (Also of Andalusia but of other provinces).

Although they ended up on the third place, the potential Juan and his new friends had was enough for him to be choosen over the actual 1st and 2nd place keepers of the cup. Aganist all odds and controversies, he fought very hard to keep his place in, though out of nowhere a sudden riojan pretty much overshadowed him.

----

(The post ends here, but under the cut there are some misc rambles regarding his setting)

Let me say one thing. In previous headcanons I've posted, Juan was established to be from Cordoba, Andalusia. However lately (and due to me overthinking things) I thought that alternatively, he could have been born in Madrid instead. And after returning Mexico he moved to live in Cordoba instead. Unfortuantely due to the Spanish Community Cup being very strict with its origin rules, Juan was called to play for the capital, alongside players like Davi Peroqui. (Worry not for the andalusian team, they'll get another keeper otherwise. And the dynamic with Rafael and Antonio will stay! Just that it will be developed after Red Matador is formed.)

This scenario is also based on the famous flamenco guitar player Paco de Lucía (Which I've seen Juan be compared to), who was born on Andalusia but later moved to Madrid afaik. Juan's arc could be a parallel version of that.

But like I said, this is just an alternate take. Plus it'd mean me having to work again on an entirely new character dynamic (Davi + Juan) all over again 🫠 So for now Andalusia it is.

[theskeleton-system]

A Fungus Dangerclaw Masterpost

This is a post about Fungus' relationship with every Grumpus on Snaktooth;

Filbo

•definitely stumbled upon Fungus while looking for Liz

•was initially friendly toward Fungus, until Fungus took it personally and chased Filbo out of the woods, growling and claws beared

•when Fungus inevitably stays in town with the others, Filbo is rightfully so still apprehensive, but as Fungus warms up to him, he warms up to Fungus

•Fungus never learns his name, but knows the word Mayor, so calls him that (it is a constant Filbo Confidence Boost [tm])

Wambus

•would meet Fungus when they'd have come to town

•Fungus has absolutely attacked Wambus, he's the biggest man in town and Fungus believes in fighting for dominance, so he attacks him to become the Alpha of town lol

•Wambus doesnt like to make eye contact with Fungus due to this very event

•Fungus does eventually calm down when Wambus lets them rummage in the farm sometimes; it turns out Fungus is handy for digging holes to plant more crops

•after a while of Fungus trusting Wambus, she starts bringing sticks to the farm and burying them in hopes of growing crops too

•Wambus eventually decides he's adopting them. No arguments.

Beffica

•is morbidly curious of Fungus (that feeling is mutual)

•Beffica has absolutely kept Fungus in her cave out of storms, and so is probably the closest thing to a friend at first to Fungus

•she likes to paint his claws, and he loves to watch her do it, he also loves picking out the colours (pink is his favourite)

•Beffica will sit Fungus down and gossip to them while she paints their nails and brushes their fur, Fungus has no idea what she's saying, but likes to feel included and picks up on some words

•the few words he's learnt from Beff are "Squeeb", "Like", and "OMGee"

•Beffica does understand that Fungus can be dangerous, and she knows when to stop pushing their buttons

Gramble

•Gramble met Fungus in the middle of the night, when they broke into town to steal supplies

•Fungus DIDN'T attack Gramble, only because he's smaller than Fungus and therefore not deemed a threat

•when Fungus stays in town, they become enamored by the barn, and the Bugsnax there (because Fungus refuses to eat them too) and hangs out in the outdoor pen with them

•Fungus inevitably imprints on Gramble and begins following him around and bringing him Bugsnax that are very hard to catch (cheepoofs, grapesketos, lollives, scoopy banoopys) and Gramble is Confused.jpeg

•Gramble learns to trust Fungus when the first fight breaks out at the party (The "that's why your wife left you" Scene) and Fungus defends Gramble, literally standing between him and Wambus

•now Gramble accepts Fungus as family, and is just mildly frightened of them

Wiggle

•with Fungus constantly following Gramble around, it was only a matter of time until they met Wiggle

•Fungus took one look at her and was prepared to fight a bitch, but when Gramble stopped them from attacking her, they stopped being aggressive

•Fungus definitely wants that pink fluffy scarf around Wiggle's neck, but hasn't devised a plan to steal it yet

•Fungus doesnt understand how instruments work, so when Wiggle starts playing her banjo, Fungus is simultaneously frightened and interested

•Fungus begins loving listening to Wiggle's music and starts hitting the ground in percussion with the music

•Wiggle will never pass up on an adoring fan of course, and starts teaching Fungus how to make music, Fungus learns nothing, but is happy to have attention

•Fungus has ended up with the Banjo before, and absolutely tried to eat it

•(Fungus has worn Wiggle's glasses before and was fully prepared to wear them forever)

Triffany

•Triffany would find Fungus in one of the ruins, probably lost

•Triffany would be confused, but curious

•Fungus trusts Triffany quickly, as she's sensible and knows a feral creature when she sees one, so takes her time

•Fungus likes to try and help piece history together with Triffany, but obviously he has no idea what he's ever doing, so he isn't really much help

•Triffany's accent is completely foreign to Fungus, so they can have problems understanding some of her pronunciations, however, they absolutely adore her accent and loves listening to her talk

•Triffany is most likely the Grumpus who brought Fungus to town, probably to show Wambus the creature she adopted, and ask Floofty if any of this makes sense

•Fungus likes to chew on bones Triffany gives him, it helps sharpen his teeth and subdue his pure, feral rage

Cromdo

•Fungus would take a VERY long time to trust Cromdo, due to his sleezy nature

•Fungus absolutely wants whatever Cromdo is selling (because they're a hoarder) but doesn't know of the economy, only knows stick. Fungus will buy material objects with sticks and leaves or Cromdo will die

•a sick part of Cromdo wants to sell Fungus to Floofty for science, but knows that would be the second most illegal thing he's ever done (Grumpus Trafficking is no joke-)

•Fungus would probably want a tie, let's be honest

•to Cromdo, Fungus is like a cat, running around scratching the walls and knocking things off of tables

•Cromdo isn't afraid to scold Fungus, and Fungus will learn to listen in due time

•despite the tension and issues the two have, Fungus does it to show care for Cromdo, everyone knows this but Cromdo

•Fungus likes the word "Pal"

Chandlo

•Chandlo is Fungus' favourite. No questions asked.

•he found Fungus in a tree and brought him home to Snorpy, like gay people do

•"Snorp-dawg, I found a cryptid!"

"you WHAT"

•Fungus appreciates Chandlo so fucking much

•didn't attack for same reason as Gramble (small = not a threat)

•Chandlo likes Fungus because they're a hard-core survivor of the wild, and Chandlo vibes with that

•Fungus originally likes to watch Chandlo work out, finding it fascinating; but eventually starts joining in when Chandlo offers

•Chandlo just wants to keep this feral creature, that is all

•Fungus learns so many words from Chandlo, that he accidentally turns Fungus into a feral version of himself

Snorpy

•Snopry is (rightfully so) terrified of Fungus

•what is it? What's it gender? Why does it barely speak? How much sentience does it have? DOES IT WORK FOR THE GRUMPINATI??!

•but of course, Chandlo wants to keep it and Snorpy can't say no, so he ends up playing babysitter when Chandlo is gone

•Fungus, on the other hand, is enamored. Obviously-

•Fungus understands so little when it comes to Snorpy, all these conspiracies and big words and intricate connections, Fungus has no brain

•Fungus likes to listen though, and likes to look at the conspiracy board (also likes to hoard all the red string lol)

•of course Snorpy warms up to them, mostly when Floofty starts trying to steal them for experiments; Snorpy feels a newfound need to protect this gremlin from his mad scientist sibling

•Fungus just likes the attention

Floofty

•Floofty kidnaps Fungus for experiments (not clickbait)

•I mean, can you blame them? How does Fungus exist? A completely feral Grumpus in a society of modernized, evolved, civilised Grumpuses? They gotta know how Fungus works

•however, Floofty underestimated Fungus' energy, and now they're shouting at a gremlin, who is barking back at them

•Floofty loses so much sleep over keeping Fungus in one place.

•"fascinating...your survival instinct is completely intact- stop chewing my leg."

•Floofty tries to teach Fungus basic language, but learns the next day that Fungus forget everything they learnt

•Fungus doesn't know what to make of Floofty

•Is this good or bad? Friend or foe?

•if Floofty has to hurt Fungus to get what they want, they WILL be attacked (i.e taking blood or testing pain level)

•sometimes Floofty just snaps and throws Fungus into a river to "experiment" if Fungus can swim

•Fungus does like the attention though

Shelda

•Shelda is one of the only Grumpuses that Fungus shows concern and care for OPENLY

•He gives her gifts of sticks and rocks and leaves, and he'll throw a tantrum if she won't take them

•he likes to sit next to her while she meditates so she doesn't get lonely 😳😳

•the only problem with this is that Fungus is easily bored, and will start making noises and bumping rocks together

•and it's very distracting when you're trying to meditate

•But Fungus knows this and tries to behave as best as they can, they wanna make Grandma Shelda happy

•they become a part of Shelda's little fanclub, and listens to her wisdom despite not knowing ANYTHING she's saying

•he pretends he knows, nodding and agreeing all the time

Eggabell

•Eggabell, being a doctor, just wants to get her hands on Fungus to take care of him

•I mean, he's messy, and covered in mud and sticks and leaves

•he probably has the Grumpus equivalent of mange

•he DEFINITELY has fleas

•and she just wants to sit them down and clean them up

•but Fungus isn't having it, and is actually a little scared of Eggabell, as they don't know why she wants them to stay still

•Fungus will learn to trust her, and let her take care of the fleas and rabies and mange

•and when he does, he will never leave her side afterwards. He'll recognise she made him feel better and constantly want her attention

•He may get a little distracting for her sometimes, but she knows he means well

•also, because Fungus is a good listener, Eggabell airs her problems out to them, she knows they don't know what she's saying, but it's nice to rant to them while they eat a whole tree, bit by bit

Lizbert

•there isn't many opportunities where Liz and Fungus would interact sadly, however, I feel like if they did they would get along far too well

•Liz bringing Fungus on adventures around the island? Fungus showing Liz little cave systems they've found so she has shortcuts around the areas? Makes my heart ache-

•Fungus wants the hat, give her the hat Liz-

•because Liz is such a simple name, it would most likely be the only one Fungus would learn

•I can imagine Liz getting distracted from studying Bugsnax and instead studying Fungus, until Filbo or Egg reminds her she has more important things to do

•Fungus is incredibly agile, and I can imagine them scaling trees or cliffs and finding a safer route for Liz to take

•Fungus is Liz's emotional support adventure dog

The Journalist

This would be in terms of if Fungus was a character you'd meet;

•You would meet Fungus in Sugarpine Woods, but somewhere far away from Chandlo and Snorpy.

•Fungus would flee from you once spotted (sorta like the Snaxsquach, but not at certain times).

•You would then have a quest to ask around to see if anyone knew what this Grumpus was (and you would receive a resounding "no").

•The puzzle would then be figuring out how to cohearse Fungus into trusting you, which would be with sticks and rocks, making a pile of them to bait Fungus from hiding.

•Once you would have their trust, you would still have quests to complete before they move from their spot and follow you to town, this would include collecting more sticks and rocks, and finding Bugsnax so Fungus can have friends.

•They'd communicate these quests very poorly, you would probably have to rely on the quest descriptions to figure out what the objective is.

•After enough errands, Fungus would make a happy noise and start following you around. Then, if you walk into town, you approach Filbo and he takes Fungus off your hands.

•When you return to Snaxburg, it's in anarchy as Fungus has gotten out of control. Your next objective is "survive". Eventually, through sticks, rocks and leaves, you calm Fungus down enough for them to live in Snaxburg without killing anyone.

•However, some side-quests would involve Fungus, and the other residents having to deal with them now.

I had this neat idea that all this is optional, you don't have to even do the main quest for Fungus because they weren't supposed to be part of the expedition and know no one. So why interview them, not like you can anyway. You can escape Snaktooth with all the normal residents and leave Fungus on the island, then their fate would be left unknown (but man I'd feel guilty for it 😟).

[captainsiegrid]

Storytellers, a rec list

GodOfLaundryBaskets

- [Podfic] Intrinsic and [Podfic] Contingent - One Piece

I am absolutely floored by these. All the voices brought life to an already fantastic work, but these podfics are GodOfLaundryBaskets' babies and I am giving this rec to them for their absolute god-level narration and absolute perfect edit job. It makes me hate the moment it ends, I could listen to GodOfLaundryBaskets' voice forever.

Man, it makes me want to keep recording! It's an absolute honour to have been included in this project.

Kudos to Kawaiibooker for writing more-than-side-character-Bepo into an actual LIVE character with emotions!

- [Podfic] This Tornado Loves You - 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù

My first ever Modao Zushi podfic. Actually...my first time ever listening to a podfic. I was very sceptical at first because I had so many reservations about the proper pronunciations of the character's names (never mind I also suck at those because, well...Chinese. BUT! I fell in love with GodOfLaundryBaskets' voice instantly! Their intonation is just so beautiful!

- Hang in there - 镇魂 | Guardian (TV), Untitled Goose Game (Video Game)

Hilarious brought to you by GodOfLaundryBaskets' literal God's voice. The delivery of Lao Zhao's distress was flawless and absolutely hilarious, I swear!

Oceantail Podfics

- [PODFIC] Let it Flow Though You - Avatar: The Last Airbender, Avatar: Legend of Korra

Oceantail's voice is so sweet and cute, but she manages to surprise me every time with her dynamic approach to intonation. Even the serious and emotional parts felt all the more serious for it, her voice made Zuko's emotions feel even more real!

- [PODFIC] Day 1: Past and Present - Tales of Zestiria

Ok, so I'm gonna be painfully honest here: I hate this fanfiction, even though I wrote it (particularly because I wrote it!) so I thought I'd podfic it to try and hate it less.

Didn't work.

The only things that made me not hate this horrific, mistake riddled thing are Sorey and Mikleo's voices. Seriously, I wanna rewrite the whole thing so that Oceantail and lysandyra can speak more!

When I set out to podfic this, I had certain voices in mind, like anyone would. Someone must have heard my plea, because I got the best cast I could ask for. Working with them was so good I want to do it again soon!

lysandyra

- [Podfic] the sound of your heart - 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS

The work that made me go listen to BTS! While recording this I was completely confused.com! But when I listen to it I am SOOTHED! lysandyra's narration and God-like pacing is quintessentially smooth that you could spoon out a dollop and use it to sweeten your tea.

- [Podfic] an approach - Marvel Cinematic Universe

I love how lysandyra goes from smooth to expressive at the drop of a (hat) line so seamlessly! Specially Betty's lines!

Akaihyou

- [PODFIC] Feeling Blue - Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe

Akaihyou's tone sets a dramatic and emotional pace to this work that makes you wanna curl up in a blanket burrito and listen to it in a loop in spite of the words being said and I have absolutely no clue how she does it!

Also, sound effects! Absolutely genius!

- [Podfic] The Sunburn Squad - Captain America (Movies)

This podfic + blanket burrito + bucket of popcorn = an equally satisfying experience as watching a film.

No more saying is needed. Go listen, now!

P.S.: ""Bullshit," Clint coughed." ---- I'm never getting over this!

cheshiretears

- Feeling Blue (Podfic) - Voltron: Legendary Defender

I absolutely HAD TO include this one!

It isn't just voices you hear in podfic works. You hear also the sound that "blood, sweat and tears" make when editing is done as beautifully as this!

- Jelly - Haikyuu!!

No, I have not forgotten how to read silently and no, I have not forgotten about my beautiful volleyball babies.

I had actually read this before VOICETEAM and totally forgot until I was working on these recs. I love how she keeps the poly alive by mentioning the Kuro and Kenma through the fic and I adore how she nailed adorable chaotic and hyperactive owl baby!

eafay70

- [Podfic] Mrs. Pollifax and the Family Connection - Mrs. Pollifax - Dorothy Gilman

THE. MOST. ADORABLE. NJ GRANDMA. EVER! How even!!!

- TOS OT3 - Star Trek: The Original Series

I didn't know what a "filk" was...now I know...AND I CAN'T GET OVER IT! Hilarious doesn't even begin to describe this. 2:55 minutes of artfully arranged lyrics and 10 minutes later I'm still in stitches!

P.S.: Baskets, you narrate, you do characters and now you sing?! Leave some talent for us mortals! X'D

- In Which Kirk Speaks German - Star Trek: The Original Series

She has 3 recs because ADORABLE!!!! That "Please~!" AAAAAAHHHHH

minnabird

- [Podfic] Sunlight - Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Thrawn Series - Timothy Zahn (2017)

HER SHERLOCK ACCENT! I CAN'T! LOVED!

I can't emphasise just how fun this was! I wish to work with minnabird and Akaihyou again!

Also: The Bloopers! X'D

- almost, but not always - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

This will hurt you! And it will be ok because minna wrote it so wonderfully sweet you would easily believe she's also a mother...

alstroemeria_thoughts

- Let if Flow Through You [PODFIC] - Avatar: The Last Airbender, Avatar: Legend of Korra

I chose this podfic because, like Oceantail, alstroemeria_thoughts' voice is small and cute and I was very inclined to see how she managed it. I sear, talent comes in small voices! I don't know how she does it, but she 's a master at keeping a clear pronunciation in spite of her speed! I was always advised to read slowly because fast is an enemy to clear reading, but astra is just excellent at reading fast and making it sound pleasant!

- [Podfic] (un)Official Marine Rules and Regulations - One Piece

My first ever live recording session and it was FANTASTIC!

We already know I worship GodOfLaundryBaskets, but you HAVE to listen to alstroemeria_thoughts' list off rules like you're a peasant if you don't follow them! It's bloody hilarious! I mean "Justice does not have a concrete shape, and if it did, it would not be something as pedestrian as a triangle. Get it right." will make you beg her to step on you. Literally!

Halbereth

- Google says WHAT?! - Marvel Cinematic Universe

My dudes, I'm making this a podfic. It is criminal that it isn't one yet. This is absolutely hilarious!

P.S.: "his dad had had a bad habit" ---- I wanna read this sentence!

- local / regular - Marvel Cinematic Universe

The intonation here is beautiful! It's is like listening to the actual person telling her own story?! I wanna meet he Mamma!

EXTRA:

lunatique

- [PODFIC] 10/10 WOULD MARRY - 镇魂 | Guardian - priest, 镇魂 | Guardian (TV)

The biggest full cast and most ambitious podfic I have EVER been part of and it's INCREDIBLE!

This thing pushed me down the Guardian rabbit hole with a kick and no parachute and I'm cackling all the way down.

Go. Listen. Now!

[mhtucker]

The Photograph

The prompt was to START a story with words on the back of a photograph and I just couldn’t be bothered to keep my mind on that. Originally I started with it, but I lost my thought in the process of telling the story and the whole thing changed.

Instead, you get this.

The Photograph

by MH Tucker

The old attic was something that Kaliegh had always been afraid of. The place was never used and to get up to it you had to pull on a string that dangled from the ceiling at the end of the hallway in her grandmother’s house. That string brought down stairs which also had to be pulled  and by the time all of that was done, the open mouth of darkness was ready to swallow you up.

Darkness and tight spaces didn’t agree with her, neither did the idea of rooms seldom used. Using a place kept the bugs and the spiders away. Not using a place, well, she didn’t want to think about it. There was a similar attic out in the garage behind the house and that one was always full of raccoons. Their nests, built of insulation pulled from the walls, would always come tumbling down on your head along with all the poop that was in them. While no one had ever had such a shower in the home attic, Kaleigh still made sure that her brother was the one at the bottom of the steps when the mouth of their destination opened up for them.

“Okay, you first,” she said, reaching out to place both palms on the ladder from behind as if she needed to steady it.

Her brother narrowed his eyes at her. “What are you going to do, send me flying?”

“Huh?” Kaliegh blinked and stared at his face, framed perfectly between the steps of the very solid ladder that she clung to.

“You’re on the wrong side. Push from there and the whole thing closes up. You want me squashed?” He slapped her hand off of the pale wood and tossed a thumb over his shoulder. “Come this way, coward.”

She frowned at him and thrust her hands to her hips, but didn’t move. “I’m not a coward.”

“Won’t go up here though, will you?” Her brother tipped his chin up toward the darkness.

“I will, just not until you’ve gone up first,” she huffed.

Rolling his eyes, Jason started his climb. He was all confidence and perfection, something she wished that she could claim to have even a smattering of. The square patch of oblivion sucked up his head, then his shoulders, and finally his stomach before he let out a grunt and the rest of his body disappeared in one swift motion.

“You okay?” She called up to him, trying to keep her voice steady.

“Yeah.” The answer came with another grunt and was followed by the sound of something scraping against the floor. “Just hard to get up those last few steps. Kinda full up here.”

Kaleigh imagined piles of boxes topped with quilts and lamp shades, smothering the attic above her with the Hollywood ideal made from every horror movie ever imagined. She hated horror movies almost as much as she hated the room above her head.

“Okay,” Jason said at last. She heard a click and then the black square over her head was replaced with the sharp golden glow of a bare light bulb. “Come on up.”

After taking in a deep breath, Kaleigh braced herself for the unknown and began to climb, forcing herself to take each step. There were only seven flat slabs of wood for her feet to touch, but the effort of pushing through her fears left her in a sweat by the time her head broke through the gap in the floor. Jason’s hand reached down in front of her face before she had a chance to take in what might be around her, almost making her leap back with surprise.

“Let me help you up,” he insisted even as she yelped and tried to jerk away. 

“You’re gonna fall. Take my hand.”

“Don’t sneak up on me like that!” She complied, but only so that she could slap her palm to his to try and make him pay for the torments he was putting her through. Thanks to her position she couldn’t put enough force behind the movement and she ended up swatting more than striking, which she found utterly disappointing.

Before long she was standing beside her brother in a small space with an inverted V made of golden beams of wood. The floor was cleaner than she expected, empty in the center, with the traditional box piles pushed to the edges of the space. No lamp shades or quilts, but there was a stack of blankets on the floor. They had a dip in the center of them, as if someone’s cat had once used it as a place to sleep and left behind the evidence as a void.

“Well,” Jason said as he let out a long breath. “I guess we should start going through all of this stuff. Figure out what we’re going to keep and what needs to go before the house sells.”

“How are we supposed to know what Mom wants to keep and what she wants to toss?” Kaleigh eyed the plain brown cubes with suspicion. Their task seemed a whole lot bigger without any sort of parameters to fall back on.

Jason shrugged. “All we have to do is figure out what’s inside and label anything that isn’t. Everyone else will do the rest once they’re done dealing with the furniture.”

“Sure seems strange, sending Grandma off to some apartment building when she doesn’t really need to go.” Kaleigh patted the blankets and a plume of dust erupted from them. Any thought she’d had of sitting on them rushed out of her mind faster than the particles that filled the air. Choosing to kneel on the hard wood of the floor instead, she reached for the nearest box and opened it. Already at work on the other side of the room, Jason grunted through the effort of moving one of boxes to where he could open it. “Better for her to go now than wait until it is too late. It’s a good place and there will be people there for her if she needs them.”

“Yeah, well, she won’t.” The need to defend her grandmother’s strength and longevity filled Kaleigh’s heart. “It’ll be ages before she really needs a place like that.”

There was a pause and the sound of cardboard scraping against itself before Jason chuckled. “Seriously. How many cookbooks does anyone need?” Kaleigh lifted up an envelope of sorts from the box she was investigating. “This one is all pictures.” The yellowed flap drifted up as she displayed the evidence of her claim, tempting her with a glimpse of what was held inside.

“We don’t have time to go snooping,” Jason reminded her, even as her fingers pulled the prints from their snug home.

Ignoring his words, Kaleigh began to flip through the stack, trying to work out where each point in history might have been captured. None of the pictures seemed to be from here. Instead, they were snapshots of a life somewhere else, in a place filled with weathered wood, metal railings, and people in fancy outfits. “Wonder where these were taken,” she muttered before turning the stack over in hopes of finding some kind of answer.

Rectangle after rectangle came up empty, giving her little hope until she reached one that read simply, “Not Georg.”

“Huh. Someone can’t spell, I guess.” Muttering to herself, Kaleigh turned the picture around to stare at the grayish image there. In the distance, on an old, wooden pier, a man was walking away. He seemed large, though there wasn’t really any evidence to prove that since he was alone, and his balding head was tipped upward. It wasn’t as if he were looking up at the sky, but maybe to something off in the distance that the photographer refused to let anyone see. In one hand he held a jacket, in the other, what looked like a scrap of paper. “I have so many questions,” Kaleigh told herself as her brother leaned closer, unable to resist a peek. When she noticed him looking she turned the image around to show him the words and he frowned.

“Of all the things to put on a picture.” His brow furrowed in confusion. “I mean. Grandma knew some famous people, maybe it’s someone’s way of hiding who the person really is? Looks like he’s dressed for a show, right?”

Kaleigh went back through the images to weigh the visuals against her brother’s suggestion. Most of them looked like they could have been taken at a theater or a party either before or after. She nodded. “Maybe. We could always go ask.” “Ask me what?” Their grandmother’s head popped up from the hole in the floor, her bright smile lighting the room more than the bare bulb ever could.

“What’s this picture all about?” Kaleigh held it up even though she was sure she was too far away for any details to be clear. “It says ‘Not George’ but George is spelled wrong.”

“That’s because the man in that photo is German. His name really is Georg.” Her grandmother pronounced the name “Ge-org” as she eased her way up the ladder and pulled herself to a sitting position on the floor. Her wrinkled hand reached out and Kaleigh handed over the photograph, scooting closer in hopes of getting the whole story.

Her grandmother stared down at the image, one finger running along the wood of the pier as if the grains were truly raised and could scratch at her skin. “A friend of ours was in a show that night and we all went to go see it. I took this in what turned out to be the last moments of his life as a single man. Didn’t know it at the time of course, but he was about to meet the woman of his dreams.” “So why does it say he’s not Georg then?” Kaleigh’s tongue stumbled over the unfamiliar pronunciation of the name, but if her grandmother was offended by the attempt, she didn’t say anything.

“Ah. When he met his girl, she asked if that was his name and he just said ‘no’ as if he hadn’t understood a word she’d been saying.”

“But he wouldn’t, though, right? If he was German?” Jason’s voice came at them through the squeak of permanent marker as it scraped out a message on the cardboard he held.

Their grandmother laughed. “No, he understood her. She was German too. He was so awestruck that he just couldn’t get his tongue to work.” She sighed and closed her eyes, then handed the photo back to Kaleigh with a sad smile. “Probably the best picture I’ve ever taken,” she said. “One of those accidents that comes along once in a lifetime.”

History seemed to fill the room in that moment, pressing in on Kaleigh from all around. She got the impression that there was much more to this story than what they were being told, but she didn’t want to push any further. Maybe in a time when things weren’t so hectic she would ask about it again and be able to hear more of this mysterious tale of the man who wasn’t someone even though he was. For now, she put the image away with the rest and picked up her marker, forcing it to squeak out the word “photos” before capping it again.

When that job was done, her grandmother clapped her hands once, and made a joyful announcement. “Now. I know you two just started, but lunch is ready so how about we go eat and then you can finish this up with full stomachs?” Always thinking with his stomach, Jason dropped his marker and made a dash to help their grandmother down the attic steps. “Sounds great.”

Their grandmother laughed and thanked him, then made her way slowly through the mouth of the room and back into the rest of the world that she would soon be leaving behind. Kaleigh watched her go, then looked over at the box and imagined all of the memories trapped inside, bits of history that meant so much to some people and yet nothing to the rest of the world.

“It’s a box of magic,” she told herself. “And I won’t lose the key to keeping it alive.”

[justtextmeoppa]

Got7′s reaction to their s/o is polish

Gif aren’t mine, credits to the owner! - M. 

Jaebum

Jaebum, along with Jinyoung, I think he would be the least inclined to date someone foreigner, but when his eyes were laid on his future S/O he didn't make any case to her nationality or the rest. It was just her.  

He had to get used to her heavy accent but the fact that she spoke some Korean helped the knowledge and after a few months, he finally managed to ask her to be his girlfriend. He would be the first to defend her when there are unpleasant episodes where people look at her badly for her foreign being, it would be the protection that she didn't have in the early months when she had moved to Korea.  

The quarrels for him would be hilarious for the simple reason that she would start talking in her native language and he would look at her completely lost, without even being able to get upset because he doesn't understand literally a word of what she is saying.  

Mark  

He's not Korean, so he would be along with BamBam and Jackson, that most comfortable to date someone of foreign.  

The way the smile of his future S/O turned him upside down made him realize that she was the right one, in some way. The difficult part is when there's the linguistic difference to become a wall, but fortunately English simplifies everything.  

Mark would spend hours asking her to speak her native language because he is fascinated, passing those few free moments he has to try to learn Polish in order to surprise her from time to time.  

Unlike Jaebum, he doesn't express his disappointment aloud when he hears someone insulting her because she's not Korean, but simply observes them with a lethal look and takes her away, hoping that she didn't understand what they said.  

And when she finally asks him to know her parents, of course, thanks to a call via Skype, he will make sure to know at least the best phrases in Polish to impress on them, even if she reassures him that they will love him just as she does. 

Jinyoung  

Jinyoung knew his future S/O to a fansign and was pleasantly surprised to see a girl with perfect skin, light hair, and eyes as blue as expressive. She smiled timidly, calling him "Jinyoung-ssi" by pronouncing his name with an accent that he found incredibly adorable. That's why when he writes his number on the Photobucket he smiles gently, hoping that she will call him back in some way.  

I think spending time with Jinyoung for her is a continual "Can you recommend me a few books in your language?"; "Why are you ashamed to speak it?", "I love the sound that has the" I love You" in Polish." And she would blush because she would never have thought that Jinyoung would notice someone like her.  

The sassy diva that is in him would come out in all its splendor in two moments while he is with her. When someone is trying shamelessly to hit on her or when someone insults her, considering that foreigners are not always well-seen. Would glancing from top to bottom the person in question and with a glacial kindness would ask "Do you need something? In case you can ask me."  

Without his knowledge he would learn polish, at least the basics, to have a decent conversation with her and make her understand how much he actually cares about her.  

Jackson  

This guy would be a kid in front of a candy store the day he meets his future S/O. Hearing her sweet voice speak Korean with a strange accent he melted internally and doesn't wait two seconds to ask her a date, date that she accepts with pleasure.  

He wouldn't even care to have a Polish girlfriend, but he would be proud of her every time they hang out together after their relationship has become, rightly, public. It would always be a "God, look at her how Beautiful she is"; "When she speaks her native language I literally melt "; "She promised me to take me to his hometown soon, I look forward to it."  

One thing that Jackson adores is to see her switch from Korean to polish within a few seconds, mainly because of the stress of the study and the work she has managed to keep. He wouldn't understand much of what she says in Polish, but he would still love it so much that he would squeeze her face starting peppering her with butterfly kisses making her calm immediately.  

Another thing that he adores is to hear her sing the lullaby that her Grandma sang to her as a child, calm him despite not knowing what she's singing.  

Youngjae  

This little ray of sunshine would melt in front of her. He has never seen anyone with eyes so expressive and above all full of sweetness. After his trip to New York he's more open speaking English and with foreign people, so when she approaches to ask if he wants something else with a little weak Korean he smiles and shakes his head, answering in English and seeing her relax immediately. The first few periods are then full of conversations in English, a bit ' stunted, and basic Korean but Youngjae doesn't care, since with her is everything fine.  

As soon as she tells him that she left her family in Poland to study Oriental languages he feels honored that she has chosen his own country, feeling even a little sad for her because she's far from her family.  

So he starts to help her with Korean while he begs her to teach him Polish, which she agrees to because it's adorable to see how he struggles to understand the simplest things but continues to try.  

The only thing he doesn't love since he's a little fluffy boy is when she yells at him in Polish during the fights because he doesn't know what to answer since he doesn't understand what's going on. So he just would say the only thing that after months he was able to learn.  

It's a whisper but the "I Love You" in Polish makes her stops every time, the guilt that runs through her veins and the apologies that follow immediately after.  

BamBam  

The first thing he would ask after you finally agreed to be his girlfriend, is "but can I find mooses in Poland??" and she would laugh because she couldn't have chosen a more dumb guy. The fact that she's Polish doesn't affect him at all, even he's foreign, so he understands too well the sense of suffocation that she's feeling not to have her family near.  

That is why every free moment he has he's with her, helping her with Korean and trying in some way to fill that emptiness that the absence of her family provokes. BamBam adores when in the morning, those times he wakes up in her apartment, he finds the small post it with written sentences in Polish and spends a few minutes translating, then melting when he understands the meaning of them. When their relationship becomes public, he immediately makes clear the fact that he doesn't want to read malicious comments on the nationality of the most important person to him because he knows what it means to be discriminated against for a racial difference.  

And the gift for the first anniversary would be a plane ticket, for two, for her hometown only because, rightly, he wants to see if he can find a damn moose in Poland.  

Yugyeom  

Our little Maknae would be the cool one, but before speaking a word to his future S/O it would take weeks. She's a new makeup artist and lives in Korea for two years, but everyone knows that she comes from Poland because her accent is still well audible when she's talking to someone. The more he looks at her and the more she's perfect to him, so it's only with the help of his Hyung he finally manages to speak to her.  

From that moment on it's all downhill, because the more she spends time with her and the more he feels at ease. He finds adorable her accent, as sometimes it must repeat twice the same thing because of her wrong pronunciation, how she must search in the dictionary how to write a word because it escapes from her mind. And he would tease her, obviously jokingly, offering to help her in spite of her refusal because "I'm independent, I can do it!!!!!!!!!"  

The day when her elder brother comes to see her is the day when Yugyeom understands that perhaps it's better to learn polish because he feels a small fish out of the water when the two begin to speak in their language. So he starts making more efforts, helped by Youngjae and BamBam who volunteer to help him, even if he doesn't get anywhere because rightly none of the three know anything about polish.  

Like Jaebum, would "beating" anyone who dares to insult her nationality or cultural difference, because he doesn't want her to feel uncomfortable about the stupidity of people.

[babylon-bitch]

Just Friends (part 17)

My parents and I have arrived at our house in England. I love this house, it's full of childhood memories. Like the time I caught my finger in the door and Josh shut the door, causing my finger to break. Fun times. "So the boys are here around 6, and every one is coming round in an hour or so." My mum informs my dad and I. "What's the time now?" I ask. "Half four." My dad answers for her. I nod and text Luke saying I got here safely, because I kinda forgot to tell him (even thouh he was on my mind the whole flight), I guess I was busy with unpacking. Me: hey sorry I forgot to text you when we got here, I was busy. X Luke: its fine :) when are you going to see everyone? X Me: well it's half  four now, and they are coming in an hour or so, the boys are coming at 6. It must be around 2 or something there. Am I keeping you awake? X Luke: no, can't sleep. You jet lagged? X Me: a bit, but I slept most of the flight. X Luke and I continue to talk for half an hour before he decided to go to bed (and me nagging him to). "I'm going to go freshen up." I say, because I'm in a hoodie and some sweatpants. I change into a cropped sweatshirt and some jeans. Putting on some light make up and brushing my hair through, I spray some perfume to finish. I've got 15 minutes so I'll paint my nails. Looking through all my nail polish, I decide to go with black. I buy so many different colours, yet I always seem to go for black. Eh 10 minutes later I'm done and they are all dry. I fucked one up though, I'm quite good at painting them, I just don't have the patience. Going down the stairs and walking into the kitchen. Grabbing an apple and a knife, I walk to the lounge again. "Prison Break huh?" I ask my dad. "Yeah, I was planning on taking some notes." He jokes and I laugh slightly. "Funny." I sarcastically reply. I cut a slice of apple and putting it my mouth. "Door!" I call out. "You couldn't possibly get it?" My mum huffs as she walks in. "My legs broke." "Lazy cow." She mutters. "Heard that!" I shout out to her. "Hello!" I hear loads of people cheer. Suddenly realising that I have a huge family, a lot of cousins, it's only me, Evie, Josh, and Angus that are the older ones. My mother and father had me and my brother's quite young, as well as Evie's parents. I have loads of small children cousins. Everyone was around my grandparents house and then they all came here. As dad has joined us again this Christmas, we have even more people. My mum and I cooked a load of food before hand, well some of it is still cooking. I walk towards the door, where everyone is take off their coats and shit. "Hello." I greet. "Harper! How are you?" My grandmother asks. "I'm good thanks, you?" I reply. "I'm very well, thank you. It still amazes me at how beautiful are, I swear you get even more beautiful every time I see you! Long legs, lovely hair, beautiful body shape." My grandma gushes. "Aww grandma stop!" I smile in embarrassment. "All the boys must be all over you!" She winks. A certain boy comes to mind, causing my face break into a huge smile. "Well, I have my moments." I joke. She laughs and walks through. "Har Har!" My cousin Toby beams as he attaches himself to my legs. "Hello." I say poking his little stomach. My other cousin Emily latches onto my legs as well. "Babe, I can't hold both of you." I tell her. "Well I could, but I don't want." "Why do I attract children?" I ask my aunt Lauren. "Because you are so kind and caring." She smiles. Lauren walks past me, "and keep them with you for a while, they've been latched onto me all afternoon." She whispers into my ear. "You evil son of a-" "Children around." She cuts me off. Reuben and Lilly walk off with Lauren, so I'm left with Toby in my arms and Emily at my feet. "Oh fine, c'mere." I give in and scoop up Emily and we walk off towards the lounge. "Aww look." My mum cooes. I roll my eyes and put toby and Emily down. Sitting down on the floor, because all the seats are taken. Reuben picks up the knife, I had for my apple. "No!" I quickly say and take it of him. Deciding I'm done with it, I walk into the kitchen and put it in the bin. "So Harper, how is life in Australia?" My uncle Robert asks as I walk in. "Um, same old really. School is quite busy, hanging out with friends." I answer as Lilly plays with my hair. "Oh, how is Luke and um the others?" Lauren questions. "Umm, they are good, they are all going on tour in March, we're all excited for that." I reply. "I would've done anything to be friends with a band when I was younger. Just seeing them in their element." My grandpa chimes in. "It is nice, seeing the people you love be so happy." I smile and bite my lip remembering all the fun times we've all had. Everyone drifts into a conversation about their childhood, and all the retro stuff they had. A piece of paper is thrust upon me by Emily. "What do you want me to do with this?" I chuckle. "Draw." She demands. "Dance monkey, dance." I joke. I pick up a coloured pencil and start doodling. Why do I seem to attract all the children? They're constantly poking me, playing with my hair, making me play games. Don't get me wrong, I love them to bits, why me? Why not aunt Lauren? After 15 minutes of drawing, I lay on the floor letting out a groan. I'm too tired for this. Hopefully Evie and the boys will be here soon, so I can 'play' with them. "Is it hard work having four kids prodding you and making you play imaginary games?" Lauren questions in amusement. "Yes, but it's not as bad because I'm just colouring and being poked." I her. "Like why do they keep poking me with pencils making me spaz out?" I claim. "Well, I have to deal with it 24/7." She laughs. I hear the sound of a camera shutter going off, and I groan. "Why?" I half-heartedly chuckle. "Because it's funny." My mum says. I roll over onto my side (very sociable with my back towards everyone) and pull my phone out, scrolling through instagram. "Kids these days." I hear someone mutter. "Heard that." I mumble. "The three other devils will be here in a couple of minutes." My mum informs everyone. "Oh my God, the four of them all together. Prepare for some sass, moody teenagers, and anti-sociable teens." Robert says. "Hey we aren't that bad." I defend turning over. "Pfff, yeah right." My dad adds. I roll my eyes and get a drink. "Plus the others aren't teenagers." I call over my shoulder. The doorbell goes off and I race towards it, I need some people my own age. "Josh!" I grin. "Hey lil' sis." He greets. I roll my eyes and hug him anyway. "I'm glad your here, I need people my age." I sigh. "I take it a bunch or 3 to 6 year olds aren't doing it for you?" Evie questions as I pull her into a hug. "Nope." I reply. "Har Har!" Angus teases. "The amount of times I've been called that this afternoon." I shake my head head, and Angus pulls me into a hug. We all walk through to the lounge, and a bunch of kids come running towards us. Everyone says their hellos and gives out hugs. "Right, let's get seating arrangements sorted." My mum says to the adults. Us four go into the the lounge. "So how was Dubai?" Evie asks. "I saw your Instagram, and it looked really cool." Josh adds. "Yeah, it was really nice. Luke and I had been drifting apart, and it brought us closer together, well I think at least." I say replaying the moment Luke and I kissed. "Yeah, that picture your mum posted on her Instagram, was well... you tell me." Evie smirks. "Since when did mum have social media at all?" I panick. Angus pulls his phone out and shows me, I scroll through it. "So that's where those people have been getting those pictures." I realise. I look at the photo, and its me facing Luke and sitting on his lap, with my arms resting on his shoulders, and Luke's hands on my waist. I mean, it looks cute. "So what's going there, Harps?" Josh smirks. "For the last time, we are just friends." I huff. It's true we are just friends at this moment in time. "Yep." Evie hums. I roll my eyes. "So how's uni?" I ask. "Really busy, I've got a couple of pieces of 'home work' to do whilst I'm home." Josh replys. "We went to this crazy party, the other weekend and we all got smashed." Angus tells me." "Dude! Why did you tell her?" Josh scolds. "It's not like Harper hasn't gotten wasted before." Angus points out. "Eh, I've had my moments." I admit. "I bet you drunkenly made out Luke, or at least one of the boys." Evie laughs. "Oh my God, your worse than the fans." I laugh. "She definitely ships you two, like her life depends on it." Josh pokes at Evie. "I just think they'd be cute together." She shrugs. "You've only met him like three times." I claim. "Harps, pass the remote." Josh asks, extending his hand out. "Catch." I tell him and throw it at him but it hits Evie in the head. "Shit! Ouch!" Evie shouts. "Still after 17, nearly 18 years, you still can't throw for shit." Angus teases. "Shut up, it's not my fault Evie has a big head." I laugh. "Bitch." She mutters. "Bish." A little voice says. I look down and see Lilly. "No, don't say that. It's a bad word." Evie scolds. "But you said it." She says. "Like to watch how this pans out." I laugh. "Well, I'm a grow-" Evie gets cut off by Lilly running off screaming "bish!" I love children's pronunciation. I quickly get up and chase after her. "What are you doing, you little rascal." I laugh as scoop her up. "Harper!" She squeals. I put her down and she runs off towards her parents. Laughing as I walk with her into the kitchen. "How long till dinner?" I ask. "In a couple of minutes, so go sit down." My mum says as if I'm a child. Walking towards the others and picking up my phone. "Mum wants us to sit down." I tell them. They all nod and stand up. Angus walks up to me and turns around. "What are you doing?" I chuckle. "Jump on." He orders and lowers himself a bit. I scream at first and then burst into a fit of laughter. "Now I get on." Josh jokes as he clutches my shoulders. "No!" I warn. "It feels like Christmas." Evie claims. "Yeah, but that's not until 5 days." I point out. "Angus what are you doing?" I ask. He doesn't saying anything besides just dropping on to the sofa. "Fuck you." I laugh. "Aww." He teases but brings me into a hug, I shrug him off and walk towards the table. "Where are we sitting?" Josh asks Lauren. "That table." She point to a small table with four chairs around. "Guys, I think Lauren got the wrong table." Evie snickers as she sits at the children's table. I burst out laughing, because her knees are nearly by her shoulders. I sit next to her and the boys join us. Getting my phone, and taking a picture. "We are so weird." Josh chuckles. I stand up and sit at the suitable table. "How is Emily and Toby supposed to eat on their own?" Angus wonders. "They're three years old, I think they can manage." I answer. Emily and Toby are twins who are 3, Lilly is 5, and Reuben is the oldest being 6. After a couple of minutes of us all on our phones Josh speaks up "I thought we were supposed to be eating." "Well, while we wait, I'll put some music on." I reason. I start playing I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday by Wizzard. *** Many Christmas songs, meaningless conversations, and stuffed stomachs later, dinner is over. Evie and I are sprawled out on an armchair, all the others are either on a sofa or the floor. All the children are sleepy and its really cute. "Can you pass me my phone." I ask Evie. She hums a yes and reaches out for my phone on the table behind her. "Thanks." I smile and unlock my phone. Finding I have a missed call from the one and only Michael Clifford. Calling him back, because you know, it's polite. "Hey, what's up?" I ask as I walk into the kitchen, because I don't want disrupt anyone. "What did you do to Luke?" He dives straight in. "Elaborate." I tell him. "Ever since he's come back, he's been a smiley dork." He chuckles. "Isn't he anyway?" I laugh. "Yeah but even more so. Whatever you did, please do it again, because I like it. Luke's been an arse for past month, and it gets annoying after a while." He claims. Don't have to ask me to do it again. "I didn't do anything, but I'm glad he's happy." I reply. "I can hear your smirk from across the world." He tells me. "No you can't, I've got to go now, bye." I say. "Okay, but I know your hiding something, bye, speak to you later." He finishes off. "Believe what you want Mike." I giggle and end the call. "Who was that?" My mum asks. "Michael." I answer sitting back down. She nods and goes back to watching some soap opera. I go through the pictures on my phone of Dubai. "Look at this picture of Luke with a fish, and how proud he is." I tell Evie. When we went to the aquarium the first time and a fish seemed to be attracted to him (don't blame it), and he seemed so proud of himself. She laughs and goes back to her phone. Around an hour later, we are all saying our goodbyes. They're going to be coming back tomorrow or something though. "Bye!" I say as the door closes. "I'm going to bed because I'm tired as fuck." I tell anyone who's listening.