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create-a-positive-mind · 5 years

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My Experience in an Abusive Relationship

This isn’t something that we every really talk about. Most people don’t want to hear about it and the people who go through it don’t want to talk about it.

But I think that it needs to be said. I don’t know why I picked now other than it was on my mind and I’ve recently talked about it to some people in my life since I recently moved back to my hometown temporarily.

I’ve mentioned it in passing before, but I wanted to give actual details this time. And please know if you are in an abusive relationship, please feel free to reach out to me if you need it! You are not alone and I never want you to think you are!

This is a really long post, so I’ve added a ‘keep reading’ break.

I was in it for a year. Not as long as some people sure, but it felt like a lifetime by the time I got out. He never got physical with me, it was all mental and emotional abuse. He showed the signs of future physical abuse though and when I look back on it now I know it was only a matter of time - in fact I found out later that he hit his next girlfriend. But I got out 10, almost 11 years ago and up until when I moved to the other side of the country (in 2015) he still tried to contact me regularly by phone, FB, or text or did little things to show that he was still watching. I can't even be sure if he's not still watching - even virtually - he randomly requested me on LinkedIn a couple months back in fact. The first contact since 2015, so I know he’s probably still occasionally watching.

In some ways I lucked out. I was still in high school when I was with him so I didn't live with him and I didn't have to worry about trying to get out and find a place since I still lived at home with my parents. Because I was in high school I didn’t have to worry about being 100% isolated from everyone who could help me - but that doesn’t mean he didn’t isolate me, he did. He was still around - though not at school because he was 6 years older.

A week after we started dating was my birthday. At my party, when I was surrounded by so many people, he preformed his first major act of manipulation by giving me a written will to hold on to ‘just in case’ and telling me that he loved me so much and I was the only thing keeping him alive. We had known each other for 2 months at this point. We were together a year. One of the other major ones was he convinced me to tell my parents that he was gay so that we could hang out more without my parents suspecting anything.

I helped him find a new apartment, helped him get back into college, helped him mend his relationship with his family, encouraged him to make friends, helped him job search, helped him budget, and so much more. I spent basically every weekend at his place (which was an hour away once he moved and 30 mins before he moved), often lying to my parents to do so. He essentially became my life and he frequently called me his ‘sole pillar of support’. This isn’t an easy thing to be for someone, in fact it should never be placed on one person like this - and it was definitely another aspect of the emotional manipulation.

He cheated on me too, he admitted to 2 of them in tactics to try and keep me throughout the relationships (And there was also the time he proposed to me with a ring and everything when it looked like I was going to take our ‘break’ (he still contacted me daily and expected me to do so as well) and turn it into a ‘break up’.). But later on a mutual friend had mentioned “he feels really bad about cheating on you with a and b”...except the names he gave her were not the names he originally gave me. So there are at least 4 instances I’ve heard about, but honestly I suspect there were at least 2 other girls he cheated on me with.

It was tough because despite the fact that we didn’t live together, he worked like hell to put me in a position where I didn't feel like I could tell anyone what was going on - from friends to family, I felt like I couldn't tell anyone for various reasons. In fact it was only later that I told anyone and every last one of them was shocked. They didn't realize I wasn't in love with him, I had them all fooled. I was really good at putting up a front. I finally got out on my next birthday (I say it was a birthday gift for myself, but to be honest while it was liberating and needed, my birthday has now turned into a reminder of that time...), we were together for just over a year.

Side note while I’m on it- please please please think about what you say, especially if you are in high school - and I don’t just mean in a situation where you know your friend or family member is going through a rough time. I was in this relationship for a year and I never told a soul until it was over that it was abusive. One of my friends told my parents I had sex with him, my mom would make snide remarks, my dad was so openly disappointed in the fact that I had lied (and is the type of dad to want no details of a relationship, stated by him) that I retreated into myself and didn’t speak of my ex to my dad, my closet friend had been alienated from me early on because of her open dislike of him and she had eventually told me it was him or her, most of my other friends all defended him or said I was exaggerating whenever I brought up anything to do with worries (one even convinced me to give him a second chance after one of the cheating instances, as a side note, she later ended up the mother of 2 of his kids and is the one he hit...), and the few that were left tended to only dislike him because of how much time I spent with him (I had to text him multiple times a day, school or not, or he would flip out - this was back in the day of flip phones too) or talking to him or I wasn’t close enough to them to confide something like this. I just really needed someone to take the time to talk to me about it all not just blow up or judge me about it and for all of these reasons and a million more that revolved around his words, I felt alone and judged and felt I could tell no one. Support the people in your life and their relationships, don’t criticize, don’t judge, don’t coerce, don’t yell, don’t blame. Let them come to you if they push back to you asking them about it, let them know that they can count on you to be there for them. You don’t have to agree with them, you don’t even have to say that you like that person they’re with - but no matter what you need to make it very very clear that you will support them and their decisions because you want them to be happy, safe, and secure. This will give them that support they need and it will allow them to know there is an out. I needed this, and I’ve since tried to be this for others.

I finally ended it when he wished me a happy birthday in complete monotone and then when I said 'I love you' (I was conditioned to say it by that point, he would flip out if I didn’t) he said 'yeah I know, see you tomorrow' and that was it. I just snapped - one of the main tangible reasons I was still with him was because he had me convinced that he would kill himself if I left him because he loved me that much, and yet he can’t even say ‘I love you’ on my birthday?. That was when I broke up with him though it took 2 hours of conversation because he kept trying to manipulate me back and at times he almost did. And Honestly, it's a good thing it was over the phone because he'd already managed to convince me in the past to stay with him when it was in person. Though I did eventually accept that if he did kill himself, it would in no way be my fault (spoiler alert, he didn’t).

Later, after I had ended it and before my birthday party was over with he sent me a link to his LiveJournal (yeah...don’t know who will remember that one, but its an online journal that people can comment on - or it was, no idea if it still exists). And in that online journal was more attempts at manipulation, more attempts to hurt and cut me. Because he didn’t just send it to me for the post where he ranted and raved about me dumping him. He sent it to me because he had spent months, months, bad mouthing me online. Months talking about how I never did anything in the relationship. Months of him saying he was worried I may be cheating on him. Months of him describing everything from a view point that was solely designed to cut me down and build him up. Months of getting sympathetic ears telling him how he should break up with me if I wasn’t going to put in the effort that a relationship needs. I may have never seen it before that point but he made sure I saw it then. It was an attempt to manipulate me back into the relationship, make me believe that I was to blame, make me believe that I hadn’t put in the effort, make me believe that I was the cause of everything that I had brought up in our breakup conversation. He called multiple times after ‘giving me a chance to cool down’ and even brought it up to me one of the times I answered, trying to see if I had ‘seen the relationship from his side’.

And you know what’s worse? If he had waited a couple more days for all my friends to have gone home, for me to be alone with my thoughts, it may have worked - I can’t 100% say that it wouldn’t have. As it is I think he sent it when he did thinking that either I would be embarrassed and want to save face with my friends by taking him back to prove I wasn’t like what he said, or he wanted to ruin my credibility with my friends by showing them all what I ‘was actually like’. Because he knew that when I saw the email my friends would convince me to open it and read what was said right then with all of them as well.

I took years for myself to figure out myself again. Because with that relationship I also realized that a lot of my friendships weren't healthy either. So many of my friendships were all about what I could give them and had nothing to do with what they could give me. I had to spend my college years relearning what a friend should be like and had to figure out how to relate to people again. It's only been in the last 5 or so years that I've even been going on dates again and I haven't been in a serious relationship since him, no one I would call a boyfriend. Hell, I've only be intimate with one other person and that turned into a one night stand type of deal.

Honestly, I’m still struggling with parts of this. I still struggle sometimes to have a healthy friendship, my early friendships and this relationship make it difficult for me to confide in people or ask for help (though I am better at it than I was), I also find it difficult to trust others and sometimes my own judgement. The lasting affects of going through something like this can’t be ‘fixed’ overnight.

It's incredibly tough to get through the abuse - physically we can heal, mentally and emotionally it takes much much longer and the scars are harder to see. People say that mental and emotional abuse are the worse - and some people discount physical abuse because it can heal - I haven’t had any physical abuse so I can’t say for sure, but I will say that it is impossible for physical abuse to happen without there being mental and emotional abuse as well, don’t discount any abuse.

Abuse is abuse and no one should every have to go through it..

Once again. If you ever need someone to talk to, please message me. I’m here to listen.

#create a positive mind #abuse #abusive relationship #real talk #be strong #be scared and do it anyway #we deserve to be safe #it's not easy #it can hurt #you deserve to be happy #I'm still struggling #don't give up #you are not alone #tears

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shittyfandomimagines · 6 years

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Going, Going, Gone

Word count: 1,856

Pure angst, my pure heart is hurt.

Obviously some things are distorted.

(GIF creds to owner.)

Tour was supposed to be fun or whatever, but then again I wasn’t the one who was singing. I wasn’t the one who gets to be around thousands of hyped up people. I wasn’t the one who did the meet and greets.

I don’t want to sound like an attention hog, but I was not the one who had Calum’s attention. I knew that I wouldn’t always be when I first got here after their second leg of the tour started, it’s just that Calum was ecstatic to be around me. As time went on, I was just kind of there like a coat-hanger, useful sometimes but in the way.

We have just started to argue more and bicker about stupid stuff. I knew the guys were picking up on it and I tried to just let it go, but I couldn’t. I hated that they heard all the arguing and how it didn’t seem like Cal was here for me.

The quick wind that pushed past me had snapped me out of my trance, I look up to see Calum had walked past me to get some coffee from the little deck towards the corner of the bus. “Good afternoon,” I mumble quietly and twirl my thumbs. “Yeah.” He replies in a monotone voice, per usual.

We were up bickering most of the night and I didn’t like it, but what was I gonna do? Neither of us had apologized for a fight in so long that I didn’t even feel like we were the same Calum and y/n that everyone knew.

“Good afternoon beautiful people!” Ashton came bounding down the hallway cheerfully, completely nosediving to jump his way beside me on the (very) small couch. Calum gave him a look and the sat on the other small couch in front of us. Ashton laid his head on my lap and completely ignored Calum’s glare.

His hair was slicked back and I kept flicking the one piece that was hanging over his forehead. “You should dye your hair,” I suggest as he was swatting my hand away. “What color?” He asks as he finally gave up trying to stop me. “Red. You’d like nice with red hair.” I think aloud and he just shrugs. “We’ll see. Maybe after the tour is over I will.” He says and then sits up.

“I’ll be outside walking if anyone needs me, just try not to,” Calum utters under his breath and then stomps towards the door. Ash and I give each other a look, this wasn’t the first time this week that he did this. “I’ve got him this time, it’s my turn,” I say and stand up from the couch.

I had to basically jump off the last step because it always seemed so high, usually, Cal would laugh but he hasn’t recently. He hasn’t done a lot of things recently. He had just made it past the back of the bus, he was still walking straight ahead. Luckily, there were no fans in sight.

When I finally get behind him, I tug his jacket slightly. “Calum, just stop for a second.” I plead and he comes to a halt, turning very abruptly. “What the fuck do you want?” He snaps and my eyes widen. “Jesus, what is wrong now?” I roll my eyes.

“You! You’re always so lovey-dovey towards Ashton and you never fucking care about me! Why the fuck would you even come on this tour if you didn’t plan on caring about me and just fucking being around everyone else all the time?” He yells and I signal my hand for him to be quieter and I point towards the bus still being fairly close to us.

“You had the chance to ask him to move. You had the chance to act that way with me any fucking time. This is not my fault Calum, you’re the one constantly bringing up shit that doesn’t make sense. At least your best friends are more caring about me than you are.” I snarl and he just laughs. He fucking laughs!

I wanted to rip that pretty little smirk off of his face.

“You’re right, they care more about you than I do nowadays. Just because I invited you here doesn’t mean that everyone fucking wants you here right now. Fuck off!” He says emotionless and I feel my heart break a little. I guess it’s one thing to not feel wanted by your peers but another thing to not be wanted by your boyfriend.

“I-uh. Yeah, well I just wanted to check on you. Ash mentioned something about an interview in 20 minutes.” I lie about Ashton saying it, I just memorized the schedule this morning at 3 am after our fight so I could distract myself.

I just try to pull all the tears back in and turn around as quick as I could so he wouldn’t see my eyes becoming glassy.

I keep my head low as I walked onto the bus and the guys tried to speak but I just wave them off. “Cal said he’d be done with his walk soon so you guys could leave for the interview.” I lie, once again, and go to the empty spare bunk bed to lay down.

“Change in interview stuff guys, the interviewers have moved the production of it to the actual arena. They want to do a backstage thing with you guys before the show, so they thought it would be easier to just start off the day here. They’re going to be setting up and I’ll give you the call when they’re done. Tell Calum.” I couldn’t pick up whose voice it was because of how far back this bunk was, but I just let the guys do their own rejoicing thing. God knows I’m a bother to them.

—-

The guys had left for their interview like 15 minutes ago and I was currently doing my annual sweep of the venue. I liked to do this so the night of the concert when things were more hectic, I could do my own thing and know where everything was.

I accidentally found myself at the section of the venue where the interview was being placed, I stopped in my tracks so quick. I slowly walked backward and just stood behind everyone and listened in. No one knew I was there, per usual.

“So love guys? What are we feeling about that subject?” The girl from the interviewer asks. “I don’t believe in love anymore, all I love is Duke and music,” Calum says something first and my heart literally shattered. “So you and your girlfriend aren’t in love anymore?” The interviewer sounded intrigued.

“Of course we’re in love, we’ve been together for 2 years.” He says quickly and I shake my head, tears begin to brim my eyes. Being together for 2 years isn’t exactly the reason to be in love. I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to be around Calum anymore.

I wipe off any sign of tears and I tap Jakes shoulder (the guy who was in charge of flights and hotels) and he turns around quickly. Jake was a complete jokester, we all absolutely loved this guy. “Hey, sweet girl.” He says and it probably sounds weird, but he’s like 50 and a hero.

I could see in his eyes that he was apologetic and upset, but he smiled at me anyway. “I need you to cancel any flights or hotel rooms for me, I’m going home,” I say and his nose scrunches up. “Are you sure? Have you spoke to Calum?” He asks as he gets his phone out of his back pocket.

“Yeah, we spoke. Thanks, Jake!” I say and hug him slightly, I turn around and sniffle quickly. I start to walk away but someone tugs my shoulder lightly.

“Oh, hey Mitchy.” I smile warmly and he gives me a look. “I heard you speaking to Jake. You’re leaving?” He asks and I nod quickly. “Calum knows, I just need some time for myself.” I lie and he chuckles.

“You still suck at lying.” He jokes and I shrug. “It doesn’t matter where I am at, Calum wouldn’t care.” I groan and Mitchy scrunched his eyebrows. “Calum loves you and he’s probably just going through something. You can’t just leave without telling him.” He crosses his arms and I just roll my eyes.

“Mitch, I can just leave a note on his bed. If I know this guy pact that you guys have going on, you’ll end up telling him. So, please just wait until after the show. Please. I don’t want this to make the show weak and hurt the fans.” I beg and he nods. “Fine, but what should I tell him?” He asks.

“Tell him I’m staying with my sister, he’ll get the memo. Bye, congrats on hitting number 1 by the way.” I hug him quickly and had to literally jog away before I let my tears all out.

“Y/n! Y/n!” Fans were calling my name and I literally froze. How was I supposed to leave with suitcases and bags? I breathe in deeply, turn away and wipe my eyes. I take the sunglasses that were hanging off my shirt and put them over my eyes.

“Hey, guys!” I smile warmly at all of them and they were acting calm thank goodness. “Can we get a picture? If you’re not busy or anything.” They were so polite and it literally warmed my heart. There were only about 5 girls and they had all just been so cute while taking pictures. Then it hit me, I knew how to make sure they were gone so I could leave.

“Do you guys have ID on you?” I ask and they all nod. “Tell me your names,” I ask and I pull my phone out and text one of the guys in management. I send him their names and tell him that they have their ids to verify. I requested that they make it inside m&g because they were so nice. They respond with a thumbs up and I smile.

“You guys just scored some m&g tickets, just show them your ID. They all line up in 30 mins.” I say and they all had tears. “Thank you so much! We love you!” They all cried as they were basically running back towards the front.

I let my tears come back as I walked inside the bus. I write a quick note and lay it on Calum’s bed. I drag my suitcase out and put all my items back in. I get my pink bag and put all my items from the bathroom back in it. I look around and make sure that I had everything. I took one more deep breath as I called my sister, she could obviously hear the wavering in my voice but gladly said I could join her.

I book a flight back to my hometown and the flight leaves tonight.

I guess this is it. This is it.

Part 2 guys????

#calum #hood #calumhood #calumblurbs #calumimagines #calumhoodblurbs #calumhoodimagines #calum hood imagines #calum hood blurbs #calumhoodmasterlist #calum hood masterlist #writing #masterlist #5sosfandom #imagines #blurbs

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prcmctheus · 6 years

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hurricane katrina ?? more like hurrican tortilla .. am i rite ?? dnajdsl i’m over trying to seem cool 4 u guys to read these hot messes bc we all know it’s just gonna be me rambling nonsense but i need validation bc im a messy b*tch so luv me and my hipster trash son bowie

! ✰ ° — [ RAMI MALEK, CISMALE, HE/HIM ] bowie abaza, aka agent galileo is a thirty-six year old biomedical agent that has been loyal to mercy for three years. they have a reputation of being the savant because they can be steadfast & amicable. but let’s not forget they’re pretty blasé & fastidious. if you listen closely you can hear sunday morning by maroon 5 whenever they walk past.

STATISTICS:

full name: bowie abraxas abaza nicknames: just bowie yo hometown: cairo, egypt gender: cismale sexuality: pansexual / panromantic spoken languages: masri ( egyptian arabic ), arabic, english, german & spanish hogwarts house: he’s a hoe ass ravenclaw y’all , caries around sudoko puzzles tattoos: bc i’m weak and idc if this is a feminine aRM he has this rose tattoo on his right arm

BACKSTORY:

so ya Mans bowie abraxas abaza was born and raised in cairo, egypt up until he was 6 years old but moved around A LOT bc his mom is fickle and tbh bowie never really minded bc his a World Traveler by the time college rolls around .. he hasn’t been in a place for long and he doesn’t mind it bc he;s a bit of a wandering spirit or vagabond if u will

but yeah his mom didn’t really come from money but his dad was pretty well off ?? he was an accountant in cairo bc it was a family thing that the men followed suit in and his dad was set to marry this woman bc their families were close but his dad was like lmao thx but no thx and ran off with his teenage sweetheart who also happened to be his neighbor but u can thank his moms deep love of david bowie for his name

i say ran off but lit he dipped 30 mins away to the house he bought jdsbfajf sOOO bowie chills with his parents in cairo until he’s 6 until his mom says she wants to move them to prague and asks bowie for his insight and in his 6 year old wisdom he’s like uHhh yeah sure why not .. u know as a parent does in big life decisions

but bowie def takes more after his mom in the sense of being p easy going and goes with the flow ?? chilled out most of the time and hardly ever raises his voice or loses his temper ?? hates confrontation and would much rather avoid it all costs nflksdj so u gotta do smth Wild for him to show frustration

he doesn’t take things too seriously or get too attached bc of how much moving he did as a kid ,, which u think his dad would be like nyla pls .. let me have a steady job but he is Whipped and grossly in love but to be fair ,, they both are and bowie hasn’t ever seen a couple more in love after so many years than his parents so it warms his heart a bit

it’s when they’re in prague that his mom gives birth to his younger sister safia ( i have jade thirlwall for a potential wc .. someday maybe idk ) and bowie actually adores his sister ?? thinks she hung the stars in the sky and would Die for her .. until she becomes a teenager and he’s like safia i s2g i will nerf u,, as any brother but he still luvs her

until he’s 15 he bounces around from prague to budapest to moscow before his parents make The Move to san franscisco, california and that’s the last move the abaza clan make just to spare bowie and safia from falling back even further in schooling and bowie was like .. mom pls chill out

bowie did exceptionally well in high school and was the jerk who was just naturally smart and didn’t have to study much bc it just came easy to him ,, HUGE HIPSTER TRASH im not even sorry ,, likes to smoke weed and hates beer but is a wine hoe .. wears hawaiian button downs unironically, ripped skinny jeans .. big fan of chelsea boots and slip on vans and leather jackets and that still transfers over to his style now

gets along with p much anyone ?? was in the robotics club in high school, on the deans list but weaved between the cliques with ease and probably bc of how chill and down to earth he was ,, helped people out with tutoring n such and just stayed in his own lane

on his 18th birthday he got a giant rose tattoo on his right arm much to the horror of his dad jdfaljk but and he’s v proud of it and has an urge to get a sleeve but now working for Governmental peeps , he mainly wears long sleeve shirts and is wary of mercy’s stance and doesn’t wanna ask

a bit non commital in terms of Relationships ,, v sexually liberal and v pansexual / panromantic and hasn’t even really settled down just bc he feels like he doesn’t wanna settle down into things and make them so serious ?? so he’s just big into the hookup scene but he ain’t the type to dip first thing when he wakes up .. likes to chill and lay in bed and maybe go get some breakfast w u

becoming a doctor was a last minute whim bc he wanted to do engineering but changed his mind and applied to john hopkins for pre-med bc i hate him and he figures why not ?? ya mans gets an early admission and he’s v proud of himself and parents cry bc they're proud of their boy and what he's achieved even with all their moving around !! im emo thinking about it now bye

lit his bachelor’s and then med school . bowie runs on caffeine, multiple existential crises and the determination of elle woods and time flies and he’s 26 and graduates john hopkins med school summa cum laude after internships n such and ya bOY IS SWAGGY !! secures his residency and is living life as a trauma surgeon back in san francisco for a bit before he gets into contact with mercy and bc he's impulsive as fuck he’s the meme of the hand slapping the button that says nUT

accurate representation of bowie jdnfls so he’s been chilling as a biomedical agent for mercy for three years and finds it more thrilling than a trauma surgeon ?? liked being on but there’s something more to being at mercy that while he enjoyed saving lives , he feels a greater purpose at mercy

p much the middle ground between fitz and misha bc he’s just Chill , kjsdkl that’s the best way i can conjure up thots bc he’s easy going and talks to most people and doesn’t rise up to frustration and just offers solutions and is Unimpressed when field agents try to act tough like calm down chad ur gonna bleed out so shut up and come over here

chose his agent name as galileo bc he’s a science Nerd and i hate him

#mhq.intro #i just wanna get this demon out here for the event #do i know how medical residencies and training go #no but we out here at 2:45am so dont @ m #e #or pls bc kind if u do

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zibelstardust · 6 years

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So I'm a piece of shit who like never answers things and im cleaning out my drafts so im super sorry this is so fucking late @recoveringhipster

Which I'm sure you dont even remember this it's from an "ask me" like 6 months ago lmao

4: (truth) What is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you? (dare) Post the oldest selfie on your camera roll.

Ok nicest thing anyone has ever done for me? I'm not going to lie, this was something that was really hard to figure out but I narrowed it down. 2 weeks after I turned 18 I moved to Austin for college. I knew just about nobody, I had family here but the kind of family that had had a huge falling out with my parents and hadn't spoken to us in 9 years or in my moms twin sisters case, disapproved of my family and only saw us once every 2 to 3 years. I was living with her. My relationship with my parents is complicated, they've visited me 4 times since I moved to Austin 4 years ago (once because of the hurricane and twice because I was graduating college) I essentially knew no one. I had no friends either. The friends I did have were 3 hours away and kept up spotty contact so TLDR I moved 3 hours away and had no support system what so ever. I made what I thought were 2 friends and they bailed on me constantly. Ok so scene set here is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me:

My friends had just bailed on me for like a 5th time and I'm at the bus stop waiting for the bus to get back to my aunts house (9 years no contact aunt at that) when I just start crying. It's just too much, the disappointment of my friends bailing on me, having no one around me who I know even likes or loves me, I barely know this city, the stress of school and it's just too fucking much.

So I'm quietly sobbing when this tiny old Mexican woman parks her ass next to me and I make my first friend. Her name was Mari, she came from a city 30 min from my hometown and she single handedly made my life a thousand times better in the span of a 45 minute conversation. I told her about everything, poured my heart out, and she sat there for 45 while minutes listening and giving advice and just being such a hilarious old woman with a core of steel. "Fuck those assholes with a steel toed boot, you dont need friends like that." I had never in my 18 years of life just had someone, a complete stranger, come to me and just be there for me like that. We met at that same bus stop 5 days a week for the next 2 years.

One of my favorite quotes from her which I feel tumblr would appreciate: "this neighborhood was so nice before all the white people moved in."

20: (truth) What does your bedroom look like? (dare) Take one selfie and post it. You only get one shot! (No old selfies or retrying, even if you think you look bad)

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gobigorgohome2016 · 7 years

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Fitness Check: Tobacco Road Half Marathon

Race weekends are so weird. I will never understand how time can move so quickly, yet so slowly, in the span of 48 hours.

Today I raced the Tobacco Road Half Marathon in Cary, North Carolina. Everything about this weekend seemed to embody the dichotomy of fast and slow.

I arrived in NC early Friday afternoon, around 11 AM. I think this race was first on my radar because my teammate, Andie Cozzarelli, lives in Raleigh and mentioned it to me the last time she raced the Indy Monumental Marathon. My main motivation for choosing races this year was to choose ones where I could win money.

In the past chasing cash has scared me, because I have been afraid of the gnawing anger / frustration / embarrassment / resentment when the race doesn’t go the way I had hoped, and I don’t win the money I had anticipated. There is also a factor where trying to win money, and then losing it, makes it feel more real, and scary in a way. Which is something I need to confront.

Friday was a lot of fun. Andie and I went for a run, watched approximately 30,000 episodes of Friends, then went out to dinner at an Italian restaurant in downtown Raleigh. I had possibly the best seafood risotto I have ever tasted, paired with a delicious red wine. Afterwards we watched more Friends. What I love about my Haute Volee teammates is that they have pretty seamlessly filled the gap that was left after college during racing weekends. Whenever Andie and I are together we run, do a little bit of work, watch some tv, eat, and talk to the point of exhaustion – just like my college days with my roommates.

Saturday I joined Andie for the end of her long run, then we headed over to the cutest coffee shop I have ever seen for a volee meet up. A friend of mine who I hadn’t seen since high school lives in Raleigh, and we got together for lunch at a Japanese restaurant. I ordered pho, solely for the reason that this time last year I went out to dinner with the ZAP Fitness team in Jacksonville and ate pho before running a PR.

After parting ways with my friend, I took an uber to my hotel. One of very few perks of Dave traveling all the time is that he can hook me up with Mariott hotels when I am out of town. I was able to have a suite with a kitchen. By the time I checked in at 2 PM, I only had 3 hours before the expo closed and I had to pick up my packet (no race day packet pick up). I still needed another short run, and the expo was 2.5 miles away, so I naturally ran there. Except, there was no sidewalk. So I ran on the shoulder of a super busy and scary road. #fail

By the time I got back to my hotel, I was pretty exhausted. Even though I had really done nothing in the past 24 hours, I also felt like I had done everything. I still needed to find some groceries, because I had already eaten the pre-race breakfast I had packed. #secondfail

Grocery stores were really far away, but, Instacart exists in Cary! Many struggles and 45 minutes of indecision later, I finally place my order for 18 larabars (literally), yogurt, two blood oranges, a box of instant oatmeal, 3 bananas, a beer, a dark chocolate bar, two kombuchas, and a small carton of orange juice. Why did I order 18 larabars? Well, I either could choose to pay $10 for delivery, or reach a certain threshold for free delivery. 18 larabars it was.

I watched Loyola upset Tennessee, then excitedly got ready for bed because I was SO TIRED. I had no idea the race was at 7 AM, which meant a 4 AM wake up call. I turned off the lights at 9, but then COULDN’T FALL ASLEEP. Normally, sleeping the night before a race is not a problem for me. I wasn’t even thinking about the race, I just couldn’t fall asleep once I turned out the lights. First the room was too hot. Then I had to switch around my pillows. Then I had to go to the bathroom. Then the room was too cold. Then every single person who walked down the hallway sounded like an elephant. Then I started my period and was having cramps (seriously, my last 10 of 14 races I have started my period within 24 hours of the race. It’s bizarre). I remember looking at the clock at 2 AM and thinking to myself, just get 90 minutes of sleep.

Even though I didn’t get a good night’s rest, I woke up feeling pretty good. I had my breakfast and watched MTV. I’ve had to give up coffee before races because I don’t think it does anything for me. Instead, I drink green tea. I packed a hand-made tea bag of roasted green tea that I bought in San Francisco for my morning cuppa.

My friend, Tim, picked me up at 5 AM to head over to the start. You know what’s cool about racing competitively? You accumulate friends all across the country who are willing to do things like drive out of their way to pick you up.

The next part is pretty standard: talk with your runner friends while waiting for the start, use the porta potty 30 times, run warm up, do drills, take off clothes, pee in the woods because the porta potty line is too long, do some strides, get nervous, gun goes off, fall into rhythm.

Funny story: the Tobacco Road is a crushed gravel trail. Basically, this race weekend was the most type B weekend of my life. I had no idea it was a trail race because I didn’t read the website. Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have done the race had I realized, but fortunately “trail” meant a nice crushed limestone / hard-packed dirt, tree-lined path.

The course elevation map looked hilly. I thought the race was going to be hilly. Then people told me, no! the course if very fast and flat! I have determined that when you have a race in your hometown, you decide it is either the hardest, hilliest race in the country, or the flattest and fastest. Well, this race was neither. The first 2.5 miles (and subsequently the final 2.5 miles) were moderate rollers, while the middle miles on the tobacco trail were long, gradual inclines / declines. There were a few areas that were more treacherous than others, but nothing worse than that random gravel path we had to run down at the Trials.

My plan had been to start at 5:45 effort and make adjustments as necessary. Fortunately we warmed up on the first mile of the course so I realized that 5:45 effort was going to be significantly slower, because of both the wind and the hill. My first mile was ~5:52 (I think). I had overheard eventual race winner talking on the line with someone and make plans to go for 73ish min. My plan was to let her go, then reassess the situation at 4 miles and figure out what I needed to do to catch her. Meanwhile, within the first mile it became apparent there was going to be a struggle for second. A woman was right with me, and surging hard to try and drop me.

photo cred: Andie. Taken ~2.5 mi into the race before the wheels fell off

A big goal of mine this year has been to compete more. To be honest, I don’t love this situation. I am very comfortable running alone. I don’t love to do battle at the time (of course if I come out on top I’ll tell you otherwise). So, every time she made a surge, I went with her and then put in a surge of my own. I did this 4 or 5 times before dropping her for good, around the 6 mile mark. Splits that I remember: 3 miles, 17:30, 4 miles: 23:04; 5 miles: 28:50, 6.6 miles: 38:00. The way back was a death march of sorts. I’m not sure what happened. Certainly the way back had more long, gradual climbs, which are not as easy for me as steep hills (they never have been; I think it’s just the way my body is built and the fact that I grew up training in the dunes). Also, I definitely thought the wind was in my face on the way out, but it turns out it was most certainly in my face after the turnaround (there was talk of a shifting wind conspiracy. I would have to agree).

Something I noticed during the race was that I was far less concerned about where I was on the course because my only goal in the short term was to stay in 2nd place. I knew that I was gaining on first, but I was also on the struggle bus myself. There was a very real feeling at mile 8 of just get through 1k at a time.

Final finishing time: 1:17:43.

Am I happy with that? No. To be honest, I am pretty disappointed. But, I also realize I am incredibly fortunate to be able to say that a sub-78 minute half marathon is a “disappointment,” especially when I earned enough money to cover a student loan payment, a car payment, and a couple weeks of groceries. It’s also a matter of perspective. When I was training for my PR marathon, I ran a 5 mile road race 7 weeks before Twin Cities. I ran 28:45 and was beyond ecstatic with a new PR. Today, I went through 5 miles in 28:50 and still had 8.1 miles to go. 7 weeks out from the trials I ran 1:17:19 on a course that was flat and didn’t have gravel. To quote Brene Brown, the middle is messy, but that’s where the magic happens.

I have had quite a few setbacks recently. It’s hard to acknowledge setbacks, but also not allow them to let you feel like you’re spiraling out of control.

My coach reminded me today that I strive way too hard for perfection, when all I have to be is good.

Regardless, I asked Coach Dean if I could set up an appointment with him this week, because I think a mental game tune-up never hurts.

Even though I consider myself a highly Type A person, I did a whole lot of Type B things this weekend:

-have no idea I was running a trail race

-have no idea what time the trail race started (there was a point in time where I banned myself from running 7 AM races because it requires waking up at 4 AM…)

-wait to get my bib number until the last possible minute, then get stuck running down a highway

-forget to grab my gels when I went to the starting line

The great thing, though, is that none of this bothered me. I think there was a point in time where I would have freaked the f*ck out if any one of these things happened, let alone all of them.

So, what would I have done differently? Absolutely nothing. 77:43 is where I’m at right now. It’s not the worst place in the world to be, that’s for sure. I wish I was faster, but all I can do about that is keep working and making the right investments into my training.

#marathontraining oisellevolee

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parniarazi · 6 years

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what the universe has taught me about living my best life

I haven’t written on this blog in months, as I’ve been caught up with school, work, and travels. I have been meditating and writing in my journal instead though, a habit I’m proud of and definitely want to continue. I also want to share some things here, especially as I’ll have a bit more free time to write and channel my creativity throughout the summer. I can honestly say, the past year has been the happiest and most amazing year of my life. I turned 20 last October, fearful but excited to end my teen years and embrace adulthood. Moving out of my small hometown, expanding way past my comfort zone, traveling, and falling in love have all changed my life for the better. There’s some points in particular I wanted to draw on, about ways I have cultivated more love and mindfulness everyday, and in return significantly improved the quality of my life. I apologize in advance if some of this is cheesy, just hear it out and give it a chance though!

☽ Appreciate each phase and live in the moment. If there is one thing the moon has taught me, it’s that things change everyday, the phases will continue and she will go through her cycles. She has taught me to be present, rooted in the moment, in where I am and who I am right now. I’ve always been a dreamer, always thinking about what’s next, where I’d rather be, who I’d rather be. I remember in high school, I was honestly pretty miserable most of the time because all I thought about was being somewhere and someone else. In reality though, when I look back on my life in high school, it was actually really great. I have many good memories and stories, I just didn’t appreciate it enough at the time. Instead, I wallowed in my own misery for literally no reason. Each phase will end, whether you want it to or not. Soon, I’ll be done with college and enter a new phase in my life, and I’m glad I’ve grown up to be more appreciative, more present, and more in love with myself and my life now. Appreciate and be present in whatever phase you’re in now, because it will be gone and different tomorrow.

☽ Play. Growing up doesn’t mean losing that childhood innocence, your sense of adventure, or your playfulness. If anything, you’ll need your child-like energy more and more the older you get. For a while, I took adulthood way too seriously. I have the blessing of working with kids, and they remind me everyday to laugh and not take things too seriously. Many of my friends, as well as myself, have experienced crippling anxiety throughout our teenage years, because life is fucking hard and scary. Sometimes you need to walk barefoot in the grass, roll down a hill, blow bubbles, watch cartoons, eat candy, and imagine you’re a mermaid. Getting into the rave scene and culture are one of the main things that have also reminded me of this. It’s amazing to see all kinds of people, grown ups from the real world, gather wearing shiny, silly clothes, and glitter to dance and vibe together. We need things like this to remind us life doesn’t have to be so serious all the time, and to allow us to judge less and love more. Remembering this and embracing that innocent, playful energy will unlock so much creativity, compassion, and imagination you have within you.

☽ Life is full of paradoxes. My favorite one is that life is short, but it’s also so long. You’re here now, and you don’t know if you will be tomorrow, so live a life you’re proud of and leave a mark on the world and the people around you. Be exactly who you want to be remembered as. At the same time, it’s important to remember that there is no rush. You have your whole life ahead of you. You will get to places better than what you even imagined. Take it slow. There’s this cultural attitude of needing to finish school and get a job as soon as possible to be happy and successful. As real as this is, it’s also bullshit because there’s so much more to us than that. Why rush into getting a 9-5 job when you’ll have until you retire to work and make money? You’re told to get AP credits, take more classes, and you’re praised if you graduate early. But for what? Take a gap year if you need it, take less classes if you’re overwhelmed. Take your time because there’s no reason to chase material things and undermine the quality of your learning and the quality of your life. I’ll probably be 25-30 before I finish my degrees, but it’s okay because there are endless opportunities for learning, making money, and growing in a real and authentic way until then.

☽ Move your body everyday. Something as simple as going on a walk in the morning or doing 20 mins of yoga can improve your life and make you feel better. From insomnia, to depression and anxiety, to physical pain/chronic illness, I’ve seen movement and exercise change lives for the better. We all know exercise releases endorphins, which can boost your mood, help reduce physical pain, even boost your memory and focus. Our culture is obsessed with aesthetics, and working out can suck if you don’t feel great about your body. It’s easy to compare yourself to insta fitness models or experienced yogis, but everything is a process, you have to start somewhere and you have to start with a goal of just feeling healthier and happier. For the longest time I just did ab workouts and squats because I wanted a certain body, but I realized eating food I liked, and doing a simple and easy yoga routine some days felt better than forcing myself to workout and eat healthy. Throw away the scale, don’t count calories or protein, don’t look for physical changes. Move your body in a way that feels good, eat whatever you’re craving, take care of yourself from a place of love and authenticity, and you’ll be surprised how much better you’ll feel on a regular basis. Plus, the gains and strength will come along, too. I’m still working on this as well, but swimming, doing yoga, and going to the gym have helped me feel stronger, sleep better, and have less back pain from my scoliosis.

☽ Go outside. You came from the earth, and to the earth you will return. Feel the sun on your skin, the cool water on your feet, the rocks and sand through your fingers. Connecting with nature, not only by physically being outside more, but also eating more naturally, has beautiful effects that are hard to even describe. The earth has everything we could need as humans, she gives abundantly and has the power to heal us. As humans, we need to spend time with nature, the man-made society and structures we live within can sustain us, but we will never be able to connect, be as conscious, or be whole without returning to our roots. I like to have plants, sage, palo santo, and crystals in my room so I can have more connectivity to earth even when I’m indoors. The relaxing, euphoric effects from spending time outside and in nature cannot be felt or imitated with anything else. It is so grounding and uplifting at the same time, and connecting to the earth is definitely on of the main things that has improved my life. Also travel. See as much of the earth as possible. It will teach you things that nothing else can.

☽ Meditate. Write. Listen to music. Read books. Expand yourself through multiple avenues by trying new things. I never thought I’d be into crystals or meditating or any of this spiritual shit, but instead of judging myself or others, I just decided to give it a few tries. Meditating is amazing because in a world where our brains and eyes are constantly being given information, fed images, and told what to think, it can be so hard to even hear your own thoughts and feelings over all the noise. We also live in a ‘productivity’ culture, so taking a few minutes out of your day to simply sit with yourself and breathe can be so necessary and useful. Meditating reduces my anxiety, makes me a better person to be around, and helps me deal with situations and make decisions from a place of clarity. It also helps me feel closer to myself, so I trust myself and my decisions more and overthink less. Journaling and writing has the same affect. I like to make gratitude lists in my journal, and manifest goals by writing them out after I meditate. This can seem really out there, but meditating and journaling can make some serious shit happen in your life. You’ll be amazed at the calm it brings you and when things you manifest become reality...whoa. Music and reading are also extremely elevating. I could write a whole other post on those two things alone and the incredible benefits they’ve brought into my life. Listen to an artist or genre different from what you usually listen to. Read a book you normally wouldn’t, just for fun. It’s incredible how much these simple acts of stepping outside your norms will allow you to expand and grow.

☽ Cannabis and psychedelics. If you’ve read this far, that’s amazing and why I’ve saved this fun point for last! I started smoking weed in high school, like many people, and I fell in love right away because I felt how it helped me relax, reduce anxiety, and sleep better. But it wasn’t until the past several months that I really began embracing cannabis as my medicine. As I’ve mentioned, I’ve had chronic back pain and anxiety, and nothing has helped me more than cannabis. It has also helped me gain weight (I was underweight for many years), so I am much healthier and happier now. Weed makes me a better person to be around and it has improved the quality of my life so much. Thankfully, it is becoming more and more acceptable in our country/culture, I even had the exciting experience of buying from a dispensary recently. It really bothers me when people think of weed as a ‘dangerous drug,’ because it is the most amazing, healing plant medicine. I’ve also had a few acid trips and tried Molly in the past year, and psychedelics did and still do intimidate me, but they are so powerful. Tripping isn’t going to make you ‘find yourself,’ but it can be a really useful tool in your journey for expanding your consciousness, your creativity, and allowing you to feel more love and openness. Cannabis and psychedelics help me shed my outer layer, one of anxiety, judgement, shyness, and normativities. Instead, allowing my mind to elevate and be open to love, new perspectives, and a deeper connection to the world around me. I truly believe if used properly, these things can have immense benefits and improve lives.

I’m no expert in wellness or healing, I just wanted to throw out some mindsets and activities in particular that have helped improve my life immensely. I’m on my journey, just like everyone else, learning and growing everyday. I am so grateful for the woman I am blossoming into, and I never even imagined being able to feel as much love and joy as I do. I hope you were able to take something away from these points, and if anyone would like more specific suggestions, from books to yoga to music, please let me know!

#personal #wellbeing #wellness #meditation #life hacks #words

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icariamusing · 4 years

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CHARACTER BASICS

FACECLAIM: Jamie Chung

NAME: Noelle Park

AGE: 28

BIRTHDAY: January 11, 2992

OCCUPATION: Veterinarian

HOMETOWN:

PETS: Zuko (Dog)

POWERS

Her powers deal with lightening. On typical days she can control and conjure small amounts of electricity and wield it as she pleases, but when a storm passes her abilities are much stronger.

BIOGRAPHY

Min-Jee was a spirited woman when she was young. It was her free spirit, beauty, and love for nature that caught the eye of Zeus. They were together for a little over a year traveling the world, feasting on different foods, and just living life with what they had. All seemed to be paradise until Min-Jee announced she was pregnant. Apparently Zeus had no interest in raising a child, and fled shortly after the news was announced. Broken hearted and quickly running out of options, Min-Jee returned home to North Korea to face the wrath of her family. They’d warned her about running off with someone outside of their customs, but their daughter didn’t want the safe option. The safe option was Jacob Park who was a North Korean American boy living in the states that Min-Jee’s father had met through business. He was infatuated with Min-Jee and wanted her to move to Hawaii to live with him.

Since a pregnancy didn’t deter him and Min-Jee was done with adventures, she agreed to beginning a life with Jacob. They were wealthy due to Jacob’s business connections in hospitality on the island, and Noelle was sent to the best schools from the moment she was in preschool. Everything had turned around for Min-Jee except for the fact that her daughter held much of the same spirit she had when she ran away with the girl’s birth father. Noelle had no interest in people pleasing, networking, following orders, or even a path for that matter. Her mood was much like the weather. Like lightening, she rarely wanted to touch the same place twice, so the girl was always moving. As soon as she was old enough, she was out exploring Hawaii as much as she could. There were many times local authorities had been called because she hadn’t returned at sun down, and she was found laying on a tree branch or meditating on a hillside. No matter how many restrictions were placed on her, Noelle found a way around them.

It wasn’t until she was older that she understood why she seemed to accidentally shock people so often, or why her moods changed so much with the coming rain. Her parents were as normal as could be, so her having any sort of special abilities didn’t make sense. Since she hadn’t been stung by a radioactive jellyfish while surfing, she decided the only thing she could do was snoop. Whenever left alone, she’d rifle through her parents’ things to try and get an explanation. It wasn’t until she looked through a well hidden, wore down shoebox that she got her answers. In a letter that obviously never reached it’s destination she read that Jacob wasn’t her father, but instead she was a daughter of Zeus. Feeling lied to and betrayed, Noelle began to distance herself more than ever. She focused on school, so she could get into veterinary school to make enough money for herself. If her own family couldn’t be honest with her, then she’d make sure that she was self efficient.

During college, she travelled abroad, made as few connections as possible, and lived life as well as she could. Her parents made their lack of support clear, but it didn’t matter. Noelle’s grades were so great she didn’t need their money, and therefore had little reason to go back home. It wasn’t until she missed the tropics that she began searching for a home she could love almost as much as Hawaii.

That was what led her to accepting a job offer in Icaria. It would be the first time she laid roots anywhere, but Greece had many islands she could explore. Fear of being tied down didn’t set in just yet.

LEX | SHE/HER | 30 | EST

#zeus

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azanycollectormilkshakeworl-blog · 6 years

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Home insurance Vs Common insurance in Condo’s?

"Home insurance Vs Common insurance in Condo's?

One of the listed property I am interested in has an assessment fee of 280 which includes common insurance,exterior mant,snow removal. What is this common insurance ? and do I need to still take home insurance personally ?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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What a good car insurance for a teenager?

Okay I'm 16, almost 17, I'm in drivers ed, I have my own truck. I live in Vermont, I get average grades in school, what is a good car insurance, that also has sorta low rates (I make around $500 a month)""

What are typical limits on a full coverage auto insurance policy.?

I was recently in a mans vehicle when he wrecked, I was pretty seriously injured, and now have a lot of medical bills, and surgery bills. I know that he has a full coverage policy with Geico, because they have contacted me, and told me that. The only thing that they will not tell me is his personal limits. I have found out though that He has a history of accidents, and DUI'S. I do not know if that has any affect on his limits or not. I am just concerened about my bills getting paid, and my reimbursement for my lost time, and pain and suffering.""

Home insurance Vs Common insurance in Condo's?

Wells Fargo bought insurance for my truck?

Wells Fargo never received notification of insurance for my truck and ended up buying coverage for me (as there is an obligation to have full coverage). All I have to do is let them know about my current coverage and the policy they bought will be dropped. The insurance they bought for me, however, is cheaper than the insurance I have bought through the other insurance company. Can I just keep the insurance Wells Fargo bought for me? Is there a penalty for doing so?""

How can a medical group charge different prices for people with insurance and no insurance and medicare?

is this legal to charge people with medicare a higher price to go to the Doctor than people that don't have medicare, I thought that medical groups are to charge less so medicare don't go broke and people with insurance, so there monthly don't go up higher""

What is some cheap medical insurance?

I am 18 and I live in alabama and I really need to know what some good cheap medical insurance any suggestions?

How do I deal with my car insurance company after a crash?

An elderly man stopped in the middle of the street with his car. I couldn't stop in time not to hit him. So we collided. Now my insurance company refuses to pay for storing the car while their adjustor and the other insurance adjuster come to look at the car. I think it is totalled, but not positive. My apartment building has an ordinance against putting crashed cars in the parking lot. I live in West Los Angeles, which is highly populated, and I will get a ticket if I leave it on the street. It is not driveable. The storage places here cost $100 per day. I don't know what to do. Is there a car storage facility in West Los Angeles that can charge me a small amount until the adjusters come to look at it?""

How much is it to get car insurance at 16?

What is the best Car insurance?

I'm a 16 year old student and i've noticed that car insurance is very expensive. Whats the cheapest insurance i can get, that covers a lot of situations?""

Can i insure a car in one state and register in another?

i am going to school in South Carolina and have a permanent address in New York. Can i register my car in SC and insure it in New York?

Car Insurance Change?

Hi. I currently own a car insurance with Commerce Insurance Company. It will be expiring this month end. I am thinking to change to Progressive Insurance starting next month. Will this switching of Insurance will be a smooth process? please advice the steps. thanks

Pontiac Grand Am GT Insurance?

I am 20 years old. Looking at a 2 door coupe Pontiac GT. Never been in an accident, never had a ticket. Was wondering what the insurance is roughly going to cost me a month? I have All State. My dad doesn't want to call them because we just called them yesterday about another car, and we don't have the vin number. Thanks! Oh! It has power locks, a spoiler, and a sunroof too! As well as a single disc CD player.""

Anyone know insurance companies that would cover my car while in Canada?

I'm a US citizen on a temporary work permit in Ontario. I'm trying to figure out the best way to register my car. If I can find insurance that would cover me in Canada I could maintain registration in Calif. Does anyone know about this? Is there an insurance company that will cover my car while I'm registered in Calif/driving in Ontario? Thanks!

Motorcycle insurance in GTA?!?

Hey, I am 21 and has had motorcycle insurance now for the past 3 years and have been insured for a 2009 kawasaki ninja 250r. I am currently paying $1700 a year for insurance with td and have a perfect driving record. I want to switch my bike to a 2012 harley davidson iron 883 and just got a quote from them for $5500 a year!! I think that is ridiculous! Does anyone know of any good motorcycle insurance for harleys or are similar in age and paying less? I really want this bike but $5500 a year is nuts. I can buy a brand new ninja every year lmao.""

Motorcycle insurance quote - Progressive?

I only need insurance on my bike for like a week and progressive only gives me the option to either pay the full 12 month cost ($255) up front now OR 2 payments a year which is $135 up front right now. Im not paying $135 when im only going to be riding it for a week...?

""I was involved in a car accident on august 4, I got rear ended the how much will the insurance company settle4?

how much will a insurance company compensate you

Question about my 18 year old and insurance

I have an 18 year old who takes ADHD medication which without insurance costs well over $300 a month. She is not interested in going to college at this point so I'm not sure how much longer I can keep her on my insurance plan. Assuming it takes her awhile to find a job with good insurance does anyone have any suggestions on how to make her medical needs affordable for her?

Estimate the affordable mortgage and the affordable purchase price for the Bergholts? Please help if you can.

Kim and Dan Bergholt are both government workers. They are considering purchasing a home in the Washington D.C. area for about $280,000. They estimate monthly expenses for utilities ...show more""

Health Insurance ????????????

I'm going to live in china for a year and would like to have insurance. I'm just living over there and wont have a job so i wont have health insurance. When i quit my job to move to china I wont have insurance so i need to get some for a whole year. Can someone point me in the right direction to get health insurance. Does anybody know what a basic health insurance plan for a year would cost. Any help would be appreciated. thanks

Is it worth it to pay $300 a month for health insurance when you qualify for medi-cal?

My kids qualify for healthy families and we are paying for their insurance anyways. We now need a new car, and were trying to figure out if we should switch to healthy families and buy a new car or keep their insurance through my husbands work?""

Do I need car insurance with a drivers permit?

I'm 15, just got my permit, do I need car insurance? If so, then why did my parents have to sign for responsibility? Wouldn't that just put it on their insurance?""

What do I do if my car insurance lapsed without my knowledge?

I need to get tags for my car this month, only when I called my car financing company to see how much it is, they told me that my insurance had lapsed, and my registration was suspended!! I had no idea, because my cousin had gotten the insurance for me (we are now estranged, and I don't have any contact with her), and I was told by her the insurance expired in May. All my documments have been sent to her house (and she refuses to send me my mail) and I had no idea. Now, I'm terrified that I won't be able to get my registration back, or pay fines, because I just barely have enough to get new insurance and pay for my tags. I have no proof that she bought insurance for me through May or anything. Does anyone else have had to go through this? What will happen? Please help!""

What's the point of car insurance?

I pay insurance for my car. Shouldn't car insurance cover anything needing fixed on your car? What is the point of paying for insurance, when the insurance doesn't even cover repairs? I pay for supposed FULL COVERAGE , shouldn't this cover everything, ITS A BIG F-ING SCAM!!!""

Would this car make my insurance go up?

I'm thinking about purchasing a 97' Cavalier LS Convertible, would this car make my insurance go? and by how much? Also does anyone know anything about these cars? Are they good cars? Mechanically wise and gas wise. By the way, I'm 16 in case that effects your answers.""

I was denied medcaid and chips for my 2yr son. Is there any other affordable insurance out there?

I was denied Medicaid which is understandable. I applied for Chips and was denied as well.......because I was $50 over the income guidelines. I don't receive any other kind of assistance. I can't afford the insurance at work. I pay my own tuition for school, my own groceries, and so on. I just would like to know if there is any other type of affordable insurance for my child.""

Can I rent a car without insurance in Texas?

I haven't had a car for awhile but manage to get around easily. However my main ride source goes out of town for a month on Tuesday. I booked a rental through Enterprise online for use until main ride returns. Having not owned a car for awhile, I have no insurance, so my question is: will enterprise still allow me the rental without having personal insurance? I know they have insurance to purchase at time of rental, but I need to know if I will be denied rental without my own insurance. Please know what your talking about and be sure of your answer! It's very frustrating when people who don't know the answer respond with inaccurate information.""

No Insurance!?

No Insurance!? How much do you think a tooth will cost to be pulled?

I have a $500 deductible with my car insurance (State Farm) and was wondering if I could use that deductible t?

To actually fix my car up to it's showroom look (Currently driving with a broken bumper, dented fender, and broken headlight/signal marker not caused by me mind you)??""

Home insurance Vs Common insurance in Condo's?

I'm 17years old how much would it be to insure a Volkswagen Golf?

Car insurance help in NC?

If your insurance is canceled will I have to pay to get the tag legal again,if so how much.Thanks in advance :)""

Car insurance for 17 year old male?

hi how much would cost a car insurance for 17 year old male? with engine 1.4 or 1.6 for example volksvagen golf or honda civic? is it worth to wait a year until im 18 will cost of the insurance descrease much?

Car accident-how much will my insurance premium go up?

I was in a car accident today, driving the speed limit at about 30 miles per hour in a residential neighboorhood, not paying attention and struck the car to the left of me, damaging the driver's door of my car and the other car's passenger door. He was driving his company's truck. I already have an accident on my record from 1/06 that was my fault (not a huge accident, but not a super minor one, no injuries). Today's accident caused no injuries. I can tell my car door and the front bumper will need replacing. I assume that the other car needs the passenger door replaced. My annual insurance premium is $3,240, but last month a traffic ticket just came off my record. My car is a four door 2004 Honda & I am a 42 year old female who lives in Fremont, CA. I'm fearful my monthly car insurance payment will go up a lot! Does anyone know how much it will go up? Thank you so much!""

Choosing a Family Health Insurance?

Hello, What is the suggested Health Insurance for entire family (Ex: 2 adult and 1 kid or 2 kids) among the nationalized providers (National Insurance; Oriental Insurance; New India Assurance; United India Insurance)? Thank You.""

Self Employed Health Insurance?

My father just quit his old job, he couldn't work there anymore (Too long commute and we lost a parent, so he had to stay closer home for the family) So now he is self employed. We are trying to find insurance that will cover him, 4 children, vision (we all wear glasses) + dental. Does anyone have any suggestions? (We live in PA)""

Health care insurance in ny?

What is the best health care insurance for a low income 19 year old who just got cut of the affinity child health plan due to age? Any suggestions?

Cheapest car insurance in toronto?

Insurance related question to a 1987 5.7L IROCZ?

Hello I am 17 years old and have saved up enough money to buy a 1987 IROC-Z with 350TPI, 140K. Now when I purchased the vehicle a year ago I could afford to insure it but was to young to drive. I was supposed to get my G2 permit in August. I've already prepared it for the road for the but I am in Ontario and the driving strike is still going on. And to top that off, insurance companies raised their prices! I can no long afford to insure the car when spring rolls around. My mom made a good good...why not insure the car under HER name at a DIFFERENT insurance company, and put me as a secondary driver? That way I can enjoy the great prices and hell I bet she can have some fun driving this car. The car would not be insured itself, it will only be insured incase I hit someone and damage them. Would this affect her insurance rate at her other main company( 2 cars,house,boat)? Thanks!""

Is there a loop hole in motorcycle insurance?

I'm going to finance a motorcycle at a dealership. I know I will need full coverage insurance, and being I first time rider it will be expensive. My question is, can the dealership find some loophole through the system to make insurance cheaper? I live in california""

Where can u find health insurance for a family at a reasonable pricethat one can afford?

What is a good car insurance for someone that is 21?

im 21 my car is insured by my moms insurance but she wants to take me off. What are some good options??i live in california and im a full time student i know some insurance give discounts like mercury insurance

Car insurance for teenagers!!?

I'm currently 19, I've held my driving license for 9months, since February. I've done the pass plus thing which in my opinion and everyone else's opinion a waste of time as it doesn't really save you that much off car insurance. Car insurance for me and my friends are through the roof, the only way to get lower car insurance is to get ourselves named as a named driver through our parents as they've got many years worth of no claims bonuses. Or to even change the address of where we live, such as a family or friends place, which is away from London and off the public roads. car insurance is a cheaper that way, as well as if you pay it annually instead of in monthly instalments. I work and basically want to get a car that is relatively cheap to insure, around the 1000-1500 mark not 4000 mark. I've tried fiat punto's, corsa's, the lot and they all seem to give me quotes of 4000 when the car is worth like a 1000. Its absolutely ludicrous, I want to be the owner of the vehicle so I can start my no claims bonus, otherwise my insurance will be high for some time, but i don't want to pay 4000 or go as a named driver as i will not work on my no claims bonus. Any suggestions? I both want and need a car, buying the cars not a problem, running the cars not a problem, paying for road tax or MOT's is not a problem it's just the insurance which is the main problem!!! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! :) Thanks in advance-Mike""

Car insurance price?

any 17 year old drivers (males) wanna tell me the price of your car insurance? and the car you own? Cheers!

My own car insurance..?

im buying a car and going on my own insurance. is it true i cant still be under my parents insurance with out it being registered in their name???

Moped/ motorcycle insurance in washington?

how much is insurance for it? i already have a car and car insurance. my car doesnt get great mileage. about 15-17 on the highway.12-15 city. i use to not travel a distance too much but i moved farther away from my college so i gas up once a week or every week and a half depending on if im just going to school or if im also going out. I want a scooter or motorcyle just because there fun and better on gas. im not reckless. ill be safe and drive them to minimize the risk as much as possible. MY STATE DOES NOT REQUIRE MOPED OR MOTORCYLCE INSURANCE BY LAW. Im just curious to be safe. and for me, my faith in god keeps me safe.""

How much would car insurance be for a 16 yr old driver in indiana?

I took drivers Ed and have good grades just wondering like an estimate of how much it will cost Also what is the consenquence for driving wit no insurance

Can I sell my own shipping insurance?

I sell products online that I make myself. So in the past it has been a pain for customers to deal with the postal service in case of damaged in shipping. So instead I would like to just offer my own shipping insurance. Then customers can deal directly with me and everything will me a lot faster and smoother. Is this legal since I am not a real insurance company? If it's not legal how do I have to word it so I can charge like $5 and handle shipping damage myself?

I need advice on car insurance?

OK. Heres the history. I have 3 tickets on my record, two for speeding, and one for running a red light. I'm 18 years old and I am male. So i know I'm already ******. But i need to know is it possible for me to get car insurance again? Oh and technically I've had two accidents. And **** everyone who says Im a bad driver because Im not. I was just a dumb 16 and 17 year old. Quite frankly Im a greater driver than probably everyone who answers this. so shutup. REAL answers please. Thanks.""

""Where can l find low cost Dental care in Orange County,CA?""

I would like to find low cost dental care in O.C,but the one l find on the net is called Medical Discounts International,Inc, l don't believe it's a government program and l have my reservations. Is government programs better than private ones? Any agencies that are reliable and good? Thanks.""

Relief based health insurance in MN...please help?

I am considering garnishing wages of someone that I won a judgement against. The court administrator told me that the person is exempt if they are currently or have recently been a recepient of relief based on need. She could not answer whether or not MinnesotaCare (health insurance) is relief based. The insurance related examples listed on the form she gave me are: Medical Assistance, General Assistance, General Assistance Medical Care, and Emergency General Assistance. I know that Medical Assistance and MinnesotaCare are separate things, but can anyone tell me if MNCare is considered relief based??""

Help with car insurance after acciddent?

recently my car was written off. i pay my insurance monthly by direct debit. as the car is un fixable my insurance has told me to find a new car in 7 days as from last sunday or pay 2000+ up front in a one off payment, which would have been the remainder of my insurance. is the insurance within their right to do this? can i have some advice please.""

Where to shop for health ins when my cobra expires?

I've been under a company subsidized cobra plan for my wife and I for almost 18 months. The premium is going from $394 to $1150, which I cannot afford and will have to let it ...show more""

What is an average estimate for insurance on a 1991 convertible for a 19 year old male?

The car is not red and i'm talking just liability.

Can an uninsured person get affordable dental care?

I have a deep cavity in my tooth. It's really starting to hurt me. I know it needs drilled and filled, but I barely make enough money to pay bills, let alone dental care. My job doesn't offer dental insurance, either. Is there anything I can do?""

Home insurance Vs Common insurance in Condo's?

California speedin and no proof of insurance ticket?

It was dark and raining. I just came off the bay bridge in SF and am positive I was driving below 40 on the bridge and between 40-60 when I got off the bridge. The cop was on 80E past fremont exit. He said I was at 67 in a 50 zone and also did not give me enough time to look for my proof of insurance. He said lets make this easy and quick and cited me for speeding and for no insurance and not no proof of insurance. He cited both as non-correctable. It this accurate? I don't think his radar reading isaccurate. How can I challenge this?

Why do we need auto insurance?

Registering a car without insurance--California?

with our old car we had we were able to register it back in jan without having insurance, they said we can still register but have to get insurance and provide proof within so many days. well we got into a bad accident with that car and we now have no car, or insurance and we are planning on buying a used car tomorrow from a friend, can we register it without having insurance right off the bat? just asking maybe laws have changed. i can not seem to find my answer on the dmv web site. thank you..im in california""

Does any one know where to get cheap insurance 4 low mileage use under 4000 miles a year?

Can I insure a Car under My Insurance if I am not on the title?

I just bought a used car and had my fiance's mother finance it under her name because she got me a 7% APR which is really good compared to what I would have gotten. The finance guy at the dealership said to just have the car under her name to get that great rate and leave me off the loan completely. I will be making the payments, driving it, & insuring it. She is just the person who's name is on the title (so I could get that great APR rate) Now, I was just wondering, can I insure the vehicle under my policy even though my name is not on the title? I am kind of worried that my insurance company will not let me insure the car because my name is not on the title. Does anyone have any experiences or knowledge about this sort of thing? Thank you for your help""

What is the best photographer's insurance in the USA ?

What is the most complete insurance for photographers? (experienced pros only please)? MUST INCLUDE: 1.Injury of photo assistant (eg hired help getting hurt on the job carrying something heavy) 2.Camera/equipment theft and damage I'm not sure if the stuff the PPA sells is really fully complete or just cheap insurance Category Arts & Humanities > Visual Arts > Photography

Do you pay Car Insurance in USA even if you don't have a car?

Is it true that when you turn 16 in USA you have to pay for Car insurance, even when you don't have a car. A friend of mine is told me this and is having trouble, maybe I can help out with the truth about USA car insurance policy.""

Health and Maternity Insurance.?

My wife and I are wanting to have a baby and need to get health insurance that includes maternity. I have gotten a couple quotes, but they all seems somewhat high being that she is only 22 and in great health. Who would be the best and most affordable provider to talk to? Thanks, Dustin""

Best and cheapest (under 2000) convertible for a 17 year old?

cheap to buy, cheap to insure, cheap to drive but looks good and drives well. has to be under 2 grand the insurance has to be cheap - under group 10 - (i know insurance is gonna be expensive for a 17 year old) i was thinking fiat punto 1990s convertible or renault megane 1990s convertible...maybe? or rover convertible?""

How much would cheap car insurance be in california?

im 18 and its my first car whats a good estimate for cheap insurance

How much is flood insurance in texas?

How much would insurance be for a 16 year old with a 2008 G6?

Me and my dad went looking for cars and he said that he would buy me a 2008 G6 but I have to pay for insurance, with full coverage. Any idea how much it would be? And if so, where can I get the cheapest insurance.""

Best insurance company in ..........................?

What is the best insurance company if I live in Alabraska?

""Help, need cheap health insurance.?

I need to get cheap health insurance before the 31st. I tried through Obamacare but that is not an option right now. Online application will not go through and trying to call is a headache. Calls will not go through. I need real cheap health insurance so does anyone know where I can get low cost health insurance? I am in Washington state.

""Im 18, and im bout to get my motorcycle license, and a bike, I want to find a cheap insurance. Does anyone?""

anyone know where I can find a cheap insurance in pa? I looked at all the big names, and it was 700-500 a month. I know ther are places that will work with the price i just need a little help finding them thank you.""

Estimate on how much my car insurance will be?

I'm financing a new (or relatively new) car pretty soon, it's probably going to be a Nissan Altima which is a very safe car and is probably going to be either brand new or no more than 1 - 3 years old. I'm just worried about how much I'm going to be paying for full coverage insurance because I haven't had a car in a couple years thus I haven't had car insurance in a while and when I did, it was only no-fault insurance. Also, I'm young (22) so that will make my insurance high. However, I have a spotless driving record so that should help. I also live in a safe county if that matters. Anyone have a ball-park figure on how much I can expect to be paying, monthly? Thanks.""

What best health insurance?

Do you buy the car first then get insurance or the other way around?

How could you get insurance if u don't have a car to fill out the car quotes info like millage, make, year, and so forth if u did not buy the car as yet?""

Will my insurance rates go higher?

My friend with a permit got a ticket and I was with him. I forgot about the no left turn sign and the cops pulled us over and asked for my license and registration. My friend was the driver and he got the ticket. Will my insurance rates go up? because my dad will ***** at me and will the insurance company call my dad?

""A good car for 2000, Cheap to run but not bad looking.?""

Right as the title suggests. I am looking for a new car which is a cheap insurance group (7 max) and a cheap tax band. theyre would be leeway on the right car. Now it has to be good looking i am a 23 year old bloke and don't want to be driving anything boy racerish equally anything which is quite old looking! If anyone can help, many thanks :)""

Where can I buy health insurance and do you recommend Kaiser?

I need it bad. Could you please provide a link where I can sign up online?

Insurance for a teen help!!?

My first car is going to be the 2011 Camaro 1LS. My dad knows insurance is high but he trusts me. How does the insurance company know if I'm a good driver and when will the insurance lower for me? I'm curious my dad knows but I don't wanna ask.:p best answer 10 points.

Moving to France - car insurance?

I am moving to France next week and will be taking my British registered car. I rang my insurers who told me that they would only insure me 'up to the ferry' and after that ...show more

""I need to get an insurance but not sure which is a good one,?

i am a cleaner and need to get insured for accidental damage as i work in the customers homes. thanks

How much does insurance cost for a 16 year old newly licensed driver and a car?

Home insurance Vs Common insurance in Condo's?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/can-anyone-tell-me-selling-insurance-career-patricia-runyon"

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