#and she didnt own anything pre leaving really she had things but not like truly *her* things iykwim

[lockedtowers]

cassie’s literally always fiddling with her hands so chances are if your hair’s long she’s gonna wanna try to braid it and probably has made you flower crowns and stuff if she likes you, considering what a fighty slightly murderous little gremlin she is shes SO soft w ppl she likes

[nottinghil1]

"Ymir basically controlled Historia and made her completely dependent on her. She treated her like her own personal toy. She would talk over her and talk down to her (saying she had a suicide wish when she was just desperate for validation). Historia had become so co-dependent that she tried to follow Ymir with Reiner and Bertholdt (even going so far to say she doesn't care if Historia was hurt as long as she had her). And after Ymir left she had a complete mental breakdown and then shut down for days. It's not a healthy relationship. Historia completely relied on Ymir for any kind of stability, and she didn't grow and find any stability until Ymir left and she couldn't rely on her for control. Ymir didn't do a single genuinely good thing until she helped Reiner and Bertholdt and her feelings for Historia are not real caring, it was more of an obsession"

hi! i understand you have a different opinion and different opinions are fine!! but! you’ve come back to my page after i asked you to leave me alone and disrespected me. so, i will give you my reasoning, point by point. i also request that you leave my page and leave me alone. sadly, i cannot block you. so, out of human decency, please leave me alone.

“ymir basically controlled historia and made her completely dependent on her.”

ymir did not control historia. the decisions that historia made were from asks from ymir. like when ymir ASKED historia to live for herself or when ymir ASKED historia to tell ymir her name when she exposed her secret. those were just asks and historia did not have to comply. ymir wasn’t holding anything over her head.

ymir also did not make her dependent on her. historia had no one else. her mom was dead and her father was out of the picture (talking about pre season 3). it makes perfect sense why historia would be dependent on her.

if you haven’t noticed, their character arcs revolve around each other. there would be no historia without ymir. ymir is the sole reason why there is historia and not krista.

“she treated her like her own personal toy”

again, ymir was very respectful of historia. she only asked something, she didn’t expect anything in return. ymir treated her like another person, which had never happened to historia before. everytime before ymir, she was treated as an object.

“she would talk over her and talk down to her (saying she had a suicide wish when she was just desperate for validation.)”

historia was suicidal. it is clearly obvious that what she was doing on the mountain, was an act of suicide.

historia wanted to die, she had every reason to want to. but, we have to remember that she was krista at that time. krista was the girl that was good to everyone. she was never an inconvenience. she was an angel! so, krista would never kill herself in a way that would never make it difficult for others. if she died on that mountain, everyone would think she was trying to be a good person and just messed up.

ymir had been observing her from months to years at that point. she had realized from what she heard at the church and what she had observed, that historia was running from something BAD. it would make perfect sense for historia to want to die.

in that moment, historia needed someone to talk down to her and wake her up. suicide is not an easy conversation. you need to be upfront and be an ass to people sometimes. historia is a very stubborn character. she has been from her very first scene. ymir knew that. ymir knew that she couldn’t beat around the bush. she had to be direct to historia.

“historia had become so co-dependent that she tried to follow ymir with reiner and bertholdt (even going so far to say she doesn’t care if historia was hurt as long as she had her).”

again, historia is co-dependent because no one else treated her like a person and she had no one else. of course, she is going to follow the one person who has ever shown that they care about her. she would be foolish not to.

now, we have to look at ymirs character.

ymirs first promise to herself after waking up again (after turning back into a human) is that she will live for herself and she will be selfish. ymir knew that her chances of living were better if she had historia. marley wouldn’t have killed historia, they knew better to let someone of royal blood die. we know that with dina, if they knew she had royal blood, then she would have lived. the same would have happened to historia.

ymir may have wanted to be selfish and be with historia, but obviously, we know that didn’t happen. she chose to sacrifice herself to keep historia safe.

“and after ymir left she had a complete mental breakdown and then shut down for days.”

yes she did! but why?

let’s look back at her childhood!

in stressful and scary situations, our minds will do what is reasonable and best for us. however, when someone has trauma, they do what their brain thinks is the safest and most comfortable from past experiences.

we see that when historia’s mother denied her affection and eventually left her, historia was betrayed by her mother. what happened? she was by herself with no one else around her. she was all by herself.

next, we see that when she meets her father, he later denies being her father and leaves her once again. she was betrayed by her father. she was all by herself again.

what both of these situations have in common is betrayal and being shut out by herself. this is what she is used to. so, when a betrayal will happen, her brain will tell her that she needs to be alone. she needs to be shut down to process it.

we have to remember that ymir is the first person that historia really opens up to and is honest to. no one else. now that she had lost the only person she was honest to, obviously she was going to shut down and lose it.

that is what happens when ymir leaves. it is not a healthy reaction. but that is not due to their relationship. it is due to the fact that historia has unsolved trauma and that event triggered it.

“it’s not a healthy relationship.”

it is a lot healthier than historia being forced to get pregnant and eren doing nothing about it. but oh he cares so much!!

“historia completely relied on ymir for any kind of stability, and she didn’t grow and find any stability until ymir left and she couldn’t rely on her for control.”

historia had not known any type of stability her whole life (again pre season three)! she had no father! a mom that left her and died! ymir was there for her for three years! of course she would rely on her for stability! but it wasn’t unhealthy.

historia did grow in season two. we saw that she was making her own decisions (like choosing to be historia) and that was growth.

in season three, before she turns into a titan, she thinks back to ymir telling her to live her life with pride. funny how it’s ymir that she thinks of in her most important moment of her life? her growth is directly tied to ymir. there is no historia without ymir. again, their arcs are tied to each other.

“ymir didnt do a single genuinely good thing until she helped reiner and bertholdt and her feelings for historia are not real caring, it was more of an obsession.”

again!!! ymir is the only reason why we have historia and not krista. she gave krista the confidence to be historia and to do what she wants because she wants to do it. their arcs revolve around each other! ymir was the person that historia needed to live and to find purpose in life. thanks to ymir, historia found a will to live and wanted to keep living for herself.

it was not an obsession. ymir just cared about historia and historia cared about her too. they both equally cared about each other and wanted to live together and live for themselves.

i doubt you’ve read this, but i am asking again. please leave my page. i am not in the mood to deal with this, truly. i am sorry you think they are an abusive relationship. i am sorry that you don’t understand what abuse is. i don’t care that you don’t ship them. but, please leave my page. it doesn’t matter and i don’t want to hear your opinions so please stop.

[themeed]

damn allowed myself to want things for a day and all i want is a van to live in, knowledge, freedom, weight loss, and a bass guitar.

im. happy with that i think. im proud of me, no jokes. im proud of being able to want things and care about them and vibrate towards them with longing. im... pleased with that. its fulfilling in a way Not Wanting For Anything isnt, because thats... kinda hollow. empty. in a vacant, lonely, yearning and grieving and SAD way. maybe because i Couldnt Want then. i Couldnt Desire or it would be used against me or taken away. that sucks. that sucked.

and now. im free to want again. and comparatively???? i think im very much never going to aim for buddhism or that weird Not Desiring Not Attached Nirvana mindset. like good for u but been there out of trauma and its not fun theres no reason to truly Live. u just float endlessly and experience and it aches so badly!!!! it hurts to want to want and not be able to. and i guess that is different from not wanting at all but... its not different enough for me to justify ever going back to that. or going forward to that. i just got this back and screw enlightenment if it means i have to give up on my passions i dont think life is worth living without it.

and anybody who looks down on that from a spiritual tower has yet to examine their own pride and how empty they feel without it.

anybody who looks down and smiles and wishes me luck on my journey? good for them. im glad theyre living their best life, on their journey as they see fit.

and i feel the need to protect myself because ive been hurt by the pride- the arrogance of others before. a lot of my hurts and traumas stem from my mother being too prideful to recognize that she can be wrong and someone under her power could be correct over her. and it was an uncomfortable truth. so she denied it was one at all and hurt me. i know the reason could be elaborated on. she didnt want to confront her own internal logic. or trauma. or even doublethink. that doesnt excuse her hurting a child for the sake of her sense of pride, of comfort, of self-worth. a child under her power, that she claimed to be parent of. teacher of.

not owing anyone anything is not the same as not hurting anyone. i havent reconciled that yet. oppressors should be held accountable for their mistakes, and give reparations if the harm is physical at LEAST. and i think that applies to politics, yes. privately though? if i beat up a nazi, i dont want to pay for his hospital bills. my personal philosophy struggles between equating people and ideas as a worth measurement, and realizing that that line of thinking is... similar to oppressors. but. its based on something people can change. the question is, do i think "if given the opportunity" is a good enough reason to stop and question a racist that runs their mouth? and do i think pre-emptive violence is okay? if say, a nazi walks into a bar and doesnt say anything but is wearing all the red flags and bells and whistles. i dont think that justifies a beatdown. being asked to leave, sure, but the beatdown doesnt start til the first remark flies.

once the intent is given OR the action is taken, the line is drawn. doesnt matter if they Havent Had The Chance. if theyre starting shit outside of debate spaces like that, and not, say, asking questions, theyre not looking for new perspectives, and it is NOT my job to educate people. its not my job to Show People The Light. a quick fucking google search could tell them why theyre wrong. if they havent put even the most basic energy into questioning their beliefs, thats on them.

it sounds like im trying to absolve myself of blame here. largely because. i think i should go out and help educate people because theyre inherently complacent if theyre, yknow, in a position of power. aka white folk and men and rich folk and cis folk and on and on and on. these people dont live my reality. they dont live the reality of a gay black man in the south, or a genderqueer lesbian in the west, or an indigenous woman whose nation is being targeted, or a muslim woman who cannot wear her headcoverings in the face of danger of death, or an asian immigrant who cant get a job because of COVD age discrimination resurging. we will never live each others realities, but we can become aware of them.

they wont come into awareness without someone asking or telling, and then doing something to change them.

we shouldnt need to go running to people in power for them to be aware of problems in the populace, govt is supposed to help and solve issues like this. like. actively. thats the whole point, make life better for the countrys citizens. and individuals in a position of social power...

are individuals who didnt take on a responsibility to protect and serve or otherwise care for the populace of a nation. i personally think they SHOULD care, but they are not obligated to. i cant make them care about others.

and honestly, on some of them, it would be a waste of time. there are people who want to change or question things and yknow what? they seek out answers. in people or places or online usually. stats and stories.

so like. i dont think someones Potential as a person matters when theres a throwdown about to happen. it really isnt my responsibility to save people from themselves or try to change their sides against their will. if they want to chat about it they can ask questions first.

not throw insults or punches or hatred.

what people have been taught is worth analyzing and trying to correct IN SOCIETY but i cant fix every broken white boy that comes to me. PSAs, fliers, outreach, online videos, debate spaces. those are things i already have access to and can be a part of if i really want to go around changing minds. or yknow. get involved in legislation and be myself around others to change their perceptions of whats socially acceptable or normal. maybe protest, maybe call congressfolk, etc.

but not every comment has to be analyzed or a learning opportunity. im allowed to shut it down, and people can respect that or stop talking to me. this isnt my parents house where i had to justify everything that i said or did when scrutinized, and doubly justify any criticism i had of mother, or any joke i frowned at instead of smiling.

these people dont have that power over me. they arent my mother. they arent my boss, and if they are i can fuck off and get a new job if necessary. they dont have financial control over my living space and food and schooling and physical control of where i can go and with who and for how long. I CONTROL THAT. I do.

Huh. maybe thats why i want a van so bad. i mean... when this lease ends if nobody is gonna end up living with me...

i could just... live in my car and shower at truck stops. get a storage unit for my stuff. save by driving jobs. like 40 to 60 a day. tear out my cars back, insulate it, and install my mattress pad there. water on the floor, cooler next to it, wooden cutting coard, knife, single camping plateware set, and another little shelf for spices. maybe a hot plate i can hook up to the car battery? get a long enough usb and it might be doable. i could go camping and open the trunk to just... vibe.

because yeah, honestly? i dont plan on having a solid apartment for a bit. like a long bit. and i still have like 70000 miles on my car before itll want to go. and by that point, even at like 100 miles a day, thats like 2 years, less if i go cross country in that vehicle. i could save up SO MUCH for a better vehicle, or like. college. live on campus, get some credit, continue working after i figure out want i want to do.

i think thats a solid plan, even if i dont get another apartment and put everything in storage. work as i need to instead of all the time for rent, really only paying for gas, car repairs, car ins, food, and phone data/hotspot internet... that would bring my monthly expenses down to like 500 a month max instead of like 1400. id only need to make some 1000 a month doing contract stuff to save for taxes and stuff. anything extra would be just that: extra for savings and things. holy shit.

depending on how this next month goes for my friends, holy s h i t.

i. i might do this. legitimately.

i. dont think i can yet. i need proof of address to get my license im pretty sure? but hey, thatll be my 21st this year, so. once i have that i wont need a new address for a While. i dont know if ill want one, really.

i could always just ask a friend or family member if i could use theirs for mail that cant go to a PO box.

anyway. yeah. wow.

[slcters]

 「 avan jogia. cismale. he/him. 」i hope that #lexsquad member「 SLATER MALIH SAVALIA 」adds me to the squad ! the 「 TWENTY THREE 」year old 「 LAW 」 major has been apart of the squad since 「 OCTOBER 2018」and seems to be the 「 DELPHIC 」of the group.「 SLATER」is a「 SENIOR」 and seems to enjoy 「 WRITING & PLAYING MUSIC 」but you can always find them at a squad party , too !

TW:  CHEATING, ABANDONMENT, PORN MENTION, DEATH, DRUGS

Anyways lemme give you some info about my man and try to keep it as short ( I lied ) as possible I’ll have some wanted connections at the end so hit me up to plot cause I live for that :) 

NAME: SLATER MALIH SAVALIA AGE: 23 MAJOR: PRE- LAW SENIOR @ LEX POSITION: A DADDY HOBBIES: givin 0 Fucks, living life to the full, writing, being an PI on his dad, spiting his family n causing problems as a FUCK U. BORN: LONDON, ENGLAND. SEXUALITY: A truE WILD BISEXUAL :”)

BACKGROUND: 

So Slater was born in London, England however when he was younger he moved around a lot with his parents until they settled in LA. Mainly for his dads business and his mum had previously lived there too.

His mum was a travel writer which explains why they traveled a lot, his father runs a few escort agencies + brothels ( nevada only we do it legal here )  and also started up his own pornographic production company / film studio in LA. it would probably now be one of the biggest in the world.  ( think vivid entertainment meets brazzers ) u know FILTHY RICH SHIT.

Both his parents were obviously away quite a lot, his dad ran so many businesses and hmm was hands-on lets say but the household was pretty calm when he was fairly young. his mum was super attentive and loving and just such an amazing role model and always wanted to take him with her to show him the world when she had to leave. i think he definitely was a mummas boy.

at about 8/9 however would’ve been when things kind of came crashing down for him. he really caught his dad cheating on his mum w/ one of the porn stars he hired from the studio. His dad would’ve really asked him NOT to tell him mum because it would break their family up. obviously, slater was like terrified of the chance of losing his family so he just pretended nothing ever happened.

he was so conflicted because he was keeping this huge secret and he had so much guilt but he didn’t wanna be the one to ruin things. Like his dad basically used him as a cover like expecting him to lie for him for a long time. it would’ve really eaten away at him. like it would’ve not been a one-time thing, but slater was in denial for sure.

i think one day slater would’ve slipped up in one of his lies for his dad and his mum ended up fighting out what happened and it was such a mess. it would've led to their divorce and god that was.. SOO messy. they defs didnt have a prenup and like the custody.

I think lowkey he was miserable being with his dad, he had so much resentment and sadness there. he would’ve been okay being with his mum the whole time.

His dad was really the type of parent that would use his kids against each his ex wife like they would use slater to pass on messages and being like no u can’t have him for that day etc etc And not taken slater into consideration.

his dad though really tried his absolute best to bring his mum down which was sooo sad to see, like watching her get put through the ringer by his dad and she just became a bit of a shell of who she was, because he obviously had more than enough money to do it and didn’t want her to see a dime of it even tho he.. RLLY BE LIVING THE HIGH LIFE.

slater would’ve just been back and forth between them both up until he was about 15 when his mum, unfortunately, passed away due to drugs. which was SO UNEXPECTED.  i think there was definitely a lot more to it, like she definitely was self-medicating to help go through the still pending divorce. which would’ve lasted years. 

anyways losing his mum devastated slater because truly she was like a best friend to him, she was. he always enjoyed the weeks at his mums more than his dad and now he knew he’d be stuck there.

he fights a lot with his dad still about everything that happened and what he did, he blames him for it and putting a LITERAL KID in the middle.

anyways though since the separation his dad had like a myriad of “ girlfriends” around who were probably all young enough to be like a step sibling tbh. he never took to any of them until his stepmom. who shockingly he actually really likes. shes one thing keeping his family together atm.

 Anyways as you can imagine slaters dads business was huge and his dad is truly raking in the money but slater has always felt uncomfortable spending or even benefiting off it which is why he’s extremely secretive considering he knows where it comes from and he doesn’t exactly support his dad let alone he doesn’t want to have to explain that to people and get them looking into his family.

his father has really tried and put up this front though as if he’s a huge family man now and is conservative and super religious and smh that pissed off slater to the max. he’s like that dont make no fucking sense..

 when he high school hit though they were going to country clubs all that shit slater hated basically. he truly didn’t mind acting out just to spite his dad knowing hey your a family man what are you gonna do about it??

this drove his dad so crazy and only meant more rules were put on him, it was about the only attention his dad gave him.

when hey fight though its really wild, you know slater throws it in his dads face basically just some fucking pimp and exploits people and he’s never gonna do that and he’d rather have nothing than follow in his footsteps

i think his dad has been fined multiple times for some shady shit going on in his businesses. plus its been common knowledge in the depths of the industry they heavily provide them w/ alcohol drugs etc. probably has had an issue with the treatment of the people hes hired. lawsuits.  there's more under the surface that even slater doesnt know.

there would’ve been a bit of a scandal where his dad employed one of his dumbass country club friends daughters aka someone even slater knew to star in one of his adult films

 but regardless like he knew he really was fortunate he lived an extremely privileged life, like he would be set for life, could sit do nothing and its good. he just never had a huge interest in it unlike his father who really always said that he would take over everything someday and it would turn into a huge family business. and he was like yikes someone come tell him.. no thanks. 

 His dad and him definitely had a rocky relationship after his moms death, he  didn’t parent very much and just left his stepmom in so many uncomfortable situations but honestly

 He saw her more as a friend though then a mum but she was the best parental figure he’s ever even had. She’d genuinely try so hard to make sure his dad was acting like one like telling him he’s going to his sons gigs or else even though slater knew his dad would come for 2 seconds to appease his wife then leave.

But growing up he’s always been super careful of who’s around him and who he lets into his life probably as a result of how secretive his family has always instilled in him to be.

 Like his dad keeps saying we’re family we come first, and he never wanted slater to be sharing that with people about what they did.

 But he has such a resentment to his dad, like he thinks he’s a mess he has a wife he doesn’t give a fuck about a son he doesn’t see, he does god knows what he just is so convinced he can’t turn out like him ever. 

I think people genuinely think he must not come from money because the amount of people who have ever met his parents or seen his house is a handful if that. 

Like he’s always hanging out at other people’s places and just he’s never been really extravagant unless its to purposely spite his dad yikes. that comes from anger.

Like he really got himself a job even though his dad said he could come work for him just cause he was like yeah I don’t want to run ur dumb company and make money off it u pos? 

His dad has definitely been investigated a few times for shady practices. slater definitely started looking into law for that reason, like he genuinely thought he wants to actually be able to put guys who screw the system and own huge corporations and think they can pay outta anything in jail.

meanwhile his dad thought great a lawyer who can defend our family business smh so he supports him He has no clue slater would rather take him down.

hes on the dl investigating his dad himself. who wanna help.

PERSONALITY

losing his mom AND one his best friends showed him that he needs to really do everything he wants to and in that moment which does make him selfish at times 

i think he has abandonment issues, i think like when  his best friend who was kinda the reason he came to lex, happened to pass away also triggered that again ( TBD WHY im leaving this open for plots ) and that really shook him all over.

he really almost feels cursed at this stage.

he was pretty sheltered tbh because his dad wasn’t trusting AT ALL and at first was homeschooled until High school so he didn’t exactly grow up outgoing or being able to have many people at his place or tell them about his life.

i think theres not many people who know he’s related to his dad business, even tho his dad business iS HUGE and legit is his last name. and hes like yeah ha coincidence right??? not my dad at all.

He’s super fucking blunt though like he may be secretive with his personal life but his ass does not hold back which has gotten him into way too many problems. 

He just feels like he grew up lying about so much, his dad was like we don't want people taking advantage of you if they find out who you are and use things against me.

 he hated that and all the secrets about his dad he kept so don’t expect him to hold back on feelings or thoughts back at all 

LOVES to spite and piss his dad off even if that means 30+ students at his dads place during a business meeting lets do it.

He acts a lot without thinking like he sucks at planning anything and a lot of time he seems a little flighty and that he doesn’t take things serious enough esp his relationships

.He’d really go above and beyond though for anyone who’s proven to him that they can be trusted like he’s been known to be all in he either gives it everything or nothing so he goes extravagant

will try everything once.

wild child tm.

 his ass was kinda like living it up. he’s like on the brink of i dont want to just use my dads money but he’s like if i am though i wanna use it to actually do something decent, like get a law degree and be something, travel like his mum did. hes obsessed with the thought of like following in her footsteps BUT HE. NEVER ADMITS IT.

feelings who are u?

 He’s definitely a realist and a little bit cynical too, like he’s seen way too much shit to really have some ideal look on life. 

He doesn’t believe in some fairytale or things just happen for a reason or really in fate or anything like that. 

Like he doesn’t think love fixes everything and someone can be your happiness at all . hes like clearly its only problems so.

He’s only ever really had one serious relationship and a bunch of other casual things but that was just nothing to him

 He’s not closed off to them but he picks and chooses what he gives, but he’s just doubtful how someone’s gonna mix well into his life 

He definitely seems aloof and a bit cold but I mean after a drink and 5 minutes he’ll be picking your brain on just about anything 

loves writing in general, usually lyrics and music though.

secretly Loves a good midnight dnm overlooking the water with a trusted friend

 Awesome at getting himself out of situations he can be pretty convincing lbr

lowkey has abandonment issues. 

connections: donnt say im trash i know.

extra drama - his STEP sibling. aka child of his step mom. 

his best friends sibling, aka the one who passed away :”(

someone whose mum dated his dad WILD.

A TABOO FLING OR CRUSH, basically he got with someone he shouldn’t of, we can decide reasons HOWEVER I’D LOVE if the other chara was the ex of his friend who passed away. HED FEEL LIKE SHIT for having feelings. the angst. and the we cant do this its wrong.

I mean... someone who actually WORKS FOR HIS DAD. i would die, could be an escort, a sex worker, someone who is signed to his dads production company, can be a pornstar or more like a cam star too.

someone who is a huge tease and rlly makes his ass beg to be with them. make him work for it honey.

ooo a really GOOOOD friend and they’ve always been “ platonic” but theres this weird sexual tension and they both know it, but like ooo it could risk the frienndship n makee it weird and like ugh.

like someone whose parents hates them hanging around w/ slater bc of his family, maybe bc they ran in the same circles from back home but they just.. cant stay away from each other.

someone hes kinda dated but they realised we’d be better off as friends even tho weve seenn each other naked, it was fun.

One of the people from back home that found out all about his entire family when the scandal was exposed. They could’ve been friends or enemies.

AN ex!! pls he defs has broken some hearts or THE ONE WHO BROKE HIS :) IF U DO THIS U WILL GET SO MUCH LOVE

An enemy Maybe someone against his family or someone he just can’t stand!

THE damn girl his fucking dad tried to employ to be in his damn movie! My ass would do wild shit for this one wild WILD SHIT.

unrequited love, someone's heart he broke without even realising it

A confidant someone he can really confide in tell-all his dumbass shit too, like his protective ass would really care for this person

Someone who’s into music as much as him pLS!! like someone who can just jam with him late nights

He needs that dnm kinda friend 😂

A fwb that’s self explanatory:)

RIDE OR DIES etc

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS.

ANYTHING IM SOOO OPEN FOR PLOTTING

[basically-an-artist]

Part one of my #nanowrimo entry... Feedback welcome

I had to give myself a second to process what i thought i was seeing. Lamont, my brother, in my living room. His hair had grown alot longer since the last time id seen him. Though, i could tell by the way hed tied his locs that it was him. Messy but functional, and somehow always stylish. For him, though, as with everything, it came naturally.

  He looked magical, bathed in the blue light of the tv; as if there was such a look. He scanned one of the posters on the wall, apparently facinated with world war z.  I wondered how he was able to see them at all with only the pale light from the tvs reflection to distinguish them. In his black trench coat and kangol cap he was out of place amongst the empty beer cans, macbooks, assorted drug paraphernalia, and Harry Potter dvd box set scattered over the floor. It didnt help that he was drenched and dripping water over everything. A puddle collected slowly on the rug beneath him. It wasnt raining outside, though, so i could only guess how he'd been so thouroughly soaked.

Either way, he left a puddle under him as he stood, and by the size of it hed been here a while.

"You arent going to say hello to your brother?"

He didnt even turn around to speak, he kept looking at the pictures and posters lining the walls. I jumped slightly at the sound of him. I hadnt realized hed seen or even heard me;i couldnt even hear my own steps as i walked down the hall. It was a few seconds before i answered, roiling over his last visit before i said anything.

How did he get in? Were on the third floor.

"What are you even doing here dude, i told you i didnt want to see you." My voice fell off at the end. Im sure it gave away at least a peice of my inner monolouge.

Id actually kind of wished hed just show up like this, as he tended to do when he was unwelcomed. I hoped the prompt would give him a reason to apologize for our last meeting, or at least offer an explanation.

He completely ignored what id said.

"You know ive actually seen one of these before," he paused as he pointed at the tv, "What did they call them in the books... dementors?" He shuddered slightly before shaking his head. Now he spoke in a hush, like he was talking to himself, "Those things are not done justice by the movies." He looked away now, another shudder shaking his coattails. Water droplets flying.

"Why are you here? How did you get in?" Silence.

The questions hung in the air. My heartbeat rang in my ears for every second that passed

More silence.

The whole room seemed to breathe with my brother as he sighed. He finally turned to look at me and i froze. Half of me wanted to run to him, but the other half was screaming to jump out the window.

Has face bore the scar of a grotesque burn. As if hed peeked into the nozzle of a flamethrower as it turned on.

his eye underneath the scar looked normal enough. It didnt look misshapen or damaged in any way. But he no longer had an eyelid, top or bottom. His right eye almost cartoonish, exposed, and surrounded by the muddied burgundy of the charred skin in the pale blue light. He kept a straight face as he looked at me, but his eye gave his gaze a manic intensity.i had to stop myself from looking away.

I tried to keep my face as neutral as possible, failing apparantly as he chuckled at me in that way he did. The crooked grin on his face saying more than he'd said in any conversation between us. That smile always held secrets.

"I came back to give you something," he began," a souvenir from my travels." He went back to looking at the posters. Staring at them as if taking in some hidden meaning from their images. He did always seem to see some unseen message in everything. You can always learn more the second time around.

"Where have you been?" My voice gave way again. Again i was just the little brother of the infinitely talented Lamont Caldwell. asking questions i couldnt understand the answers to; trying to follow him on his oh-so mysterious adventures. Hed only been in front of me two minutes and hed sent me back 20 years. Again i was a scared and confused 4 year old.

"Dont worry about it. Everything will make sense soon. I told you a long time ago that i had to leave to really discover what it was i was meant to do. There was a purpose for me outside of what our parents had told us for so long." He crossed the room silently towards me, darkening the the floor in wet muddy footprints along the way. He kept eye contact the whole way, that orb of an eye boring into me."Theres a reason for all of this Marion, and i think ive finally found out what it is."

That eye paralyzed me. I was only aware of it because every muscle in my body wanted to back away, to run to my room and lock the door. It felt like minutes passed between each of his steps, like a dream carrying him to me in slow motion.

Stop stop stopstopstop.

He was inches from me now. Eyes still excavating my soul. As i looked into his, though, i could only see the boundlessness of his darkness. He was still an enigma to me; a shadows shadow. Of all the people id known in my life my brother had known me the best, and yet id never felt as if i truly understood him. Now, though, i felt as if i knew what he was thinking. If only for these few seconds.

Slowly, as if his body questioned his own actions, he wrapped his arms around me. His embrace reminded me of dads hugs. He was strong, but gentle. An embrace filled with the love of a long overdue apology. At least thats how i took it.

I accepted it and hugged him back. We stood that way for ten long heartbeats, the seconds passing lazily. I heard a sniffle and questioned for a second if it was him or me that had started crying, but couldnt turn over the thought before he said so low i almost questioned if hed spoken.

" Dont let our secrets burn you."

I felt my face contort in confusion before he ended the embrace. As i opened my mouth to speak the door to a room behind me opened, the noise startling me as it broke the tense silence.

I jumped and turned to see my roommate billie exiting her room in her hot pink bathrobe. Hair tousled, expression caught between annoyance and confusion. Shed just woken from a satifyingly deep sleep.

" dude. Have you seriously been out here watching harry potter this whole time? I know we said wed watch them all straight through but you had to realize that was a suicide run. Go the fuck to sleep. We both have work tomorrow." She shuffled past me to the kitchen turning on the light and then the faucet.

As she filled a cup with water i scanned the room for my brother. He was gone. His absence left a hole in the room, a void of energy where he should have been, but that could have been me projecting.

Of course.

Just like him to come raising a million questions and leave answering none of them.

How the hell did he get in?

I shook the thought out of my head, only then remembering what id come to the livingroom for in the first place. I began to pick up the room, the aftermath of an attempt at a pre-thanksgiving break movie marathon. It was supposed to be an all nighter. Unfortunately, the mixture of wine intoxication and primo bud had most of the participants passing out in their seats before the third movie started.

I picked up the candy wrappers and swept the loose tobacco into the trash. Only seeing the, clearly out of place, bound leather book when i cleared the pizza boxes from the table. This must have been that souvenir he was talking about.

It was dark brown, almost black, and encircled in thick metal bindings. An archaic iron-looking latch and lock protruded from the front. I wasnt sure how he expected me to open this book or if he expected me to.

I turned it over inspecting it more closely. Even in the dim light i could see the textblock was lined in silver. It glow eerily and reminded me somewhat of a bible.

On the back was a post it note:

Hold on to this. See you soon. -L

I rolled my eyes and tucked the book under my left arm. Its not like i hadnt seen my brother in almost 2 years, at least he gave me a completely useless gift too.

Billie crossed back into her den warning me to not make any loud noises on pain of death, which i obliged. I quickly finished straightening the room and headed back down the hall to my own bed. I tossed the book onto my dresser and collapsed under the weight of the night onto my pillow, not even bothering to cover myself with the comforter. The questions still swirling around my head settled in my skull as sleep took me.

As i drifted into the land of dreams a single thought peeked back through the veil before being silenced by the void of unconciousness.

How the hell did he get in?

[mommydragon-of-all]

OC Interview Meme

This looks fun. Also some answers drastically differ depending on around what time this "interview” takes place. So i got thinking and since I was tagged by@sakurabunnie who’s getting to know my pre-inquisition Soren, i choose to time this before Inquisition. Then i was tagged by dear @hadiden-lavellan too, but by then i was halfway through his post, and hey why not, some looking back :) Thank you both!!!! :3333

For Soren (Lavellan):

1. What is your name?

“A lot of people have called me by a lot of names. You can call me Soren.”

2. What is your real name?

“It is actually Soren. Yep, just Soren. I lost my original belonging and i didnt take any of my families surnames. Not permanently nor in any way official.”

3. Do you know why you were called that?

“Oh well, my parents wanted a pair of short and strong names that ring together, even if they had to get a bit creative. Also, as i learned, a pair of names that can be lilted and growled equally well haha “

4. Are you single or taken?

“i am free like a bird. Does your nest have some extra space on a cold night by the way?”

5. Have any abilities or powers?

“Im a highly trained assassin, among … other things. If you ever get in trouble… *slides over a strange little object* flash this around the shady parts of any city. They will take care of the rest. But for your lives sake, do not try to lie”

6. Stop being a Mary Sue.

“ I dont think i ever used that alias… “

7. What’s your eye color?

“Oohhh you are welcome to gaze into them closer, yes ;) no low light excuses, they have their own, so just lean over… “

8. How about your hair color?

“ Oh yes that is harder to tell in different lights. Its dark red, like good wine or blood from the liver .”

9. Have you any family members?

“ I have tons. If you meant blood relation… other than my twin sister i have some distant family. Literally distant even, like few and far between, out in the world. Some of us exchange awesome birthday gifts some years though, regardless of the exact date. Who has time to time that. “

(Scattered by the wind, but firmly standing like the trees)

10. Oh? What about pets?

“ Sadly animals are deadly afraid of me. It takes just a sniff to run for dear life… Even predators… it takes a special blend of proud and crazy to befriend me it seems. I would kill for such treasures. Like that Hart i once fought for an apple in that deep forest and lately rode to far destinations… i think it starts to get even attached!!! If he sticks around im gonna call him Captain. But remember, Dont go close to him! For your dear life, please dont. He is easy to recognize. Big as a mountain and looks like “Oh, Shit”. “

(’Where to, Captain?’)

11. That’s cool I guess, now tell me about something you don’t like.

“ Those things are about to change. Or drop in numbers significantly in the world. Just wait. …as truly as i want to mean that, unfortunately some things never change. Like the darkness in people, festering hearts. There will always be things like betrayal, prejudice, hatred, discrimination, envy, greed, cruelty,... i could go on. People who mostly keep themselves above those shades of their nature are all worth to be protected.“

12. Do you have any hobbies/activities you like doing?

“ Oh there are so many awesome things in the world and so many exciting things to do! I cant even count them. Like there’s hunting dragons for one! Speaking of hunting, there is also treasure hunt and demon hunt and manhunt and wyvernhunt and countless others, the bigger and meaner the better! But then theres also MAGIC! Do you have any idea how awesome that is? Everything magic and everything it touched. Putting together and using magic objects for so many things! And spells??? Potions, lotions, weapons... And there are also PEOPLE! The most magical thing is the warm light in ones heart. And they are so various and unique! There are different languages and codes and symbols and oh the stories! And dance and music and pleasures and laughing and caring and helping and…. oh … haha… im sorry, are you awake? Please ask away. “

(’Ah, what a beautiful day!’)

13. Ever hurt anyone before?

“ I think you snoozed off and forgot about my profession already. :)  “

14. Ever… killed anyone before?

“ Hahaha oh these sharp and pointy things and stuff arent for chopping and cooking vegetables either.”

15. What kind of animal are you?

“Pfffft i am my own species! Hehe! A unique hybrid i guess! But definitely a big animal, yes. Sis’ won that argument long ago, so there you have the answer. “

16. Name your worst habits.

“Hmm? What?” (*Muffs out with one of the interviewers -already leafed through-notebooks between his sharp teeth, booth on table...*) Hey! That is… how did you… *sigh*... nevermind  

(exhibit 99: ‘”I’ll go straight there!”)

17. Do you look up to anyone at all?

“My sister, definitely. She is the best. She is indestructible in every way i swear! Gotta be the strongest person alive. She is also really cool. But hot. I mean explosive! Not that shes not hot, technically... she is my female version after all haha. And caring for me with great big sister love (*mumble*:even if i am like 5 minutes older), but dont spread that ;) Might harm her notoriety.  I also look up to several of my tutors and many other people for many different reasons. People can be so many kinds of amazing.”

18. Gay, straight, or bisexual?

“You can not expect me to label my interests in a world full of so many differently beautiful people with warm hearts.”

19. Do you go to school?

“Yes. Life. 24/7. Got less intense since i learned how to survive and sustain myself, and grew a strong body to back up my needs and will, but there are always new things to learn and lessons you never asked for too. I had some actual teachers along the way too, but lately mostly i just teach myself what i dont just encounter by diving into new things. Which is not only fun by the way, you are bound to learn a few things. Then there are books, theories, researching, digging, honing instincts and reflexes, combining and refining techniques or theories, trial and error... Life is a bottomless school “

20. Do you ever want to marry and have kids one day?

“Wow, wow, you mean like.. babies? Sweet Fade, i wouldnt dare breathe their way, they are so fragile... little young PEOPLE, persons who arrived so recently and understand so little and cant even tell whats up just cry and i cant understand them, i understand every language but i can not understand babies for my life and ... and... thats terrifying! And do you have any idea how EASY it is to kill someone? And then there is that small bundle of vulnerability, my proximity could be lethal to it! And .... *sigh*... sorry just... It all would depend on that special person i might find who would want to keep me for life, for better or worse, and if they wanted kids... even if babies, i would be on board. I would do anything for that special someone. Even learn baby care... Bigger kids, well, i already have :D . In good care. If any of them were to be taken under my constant and indirect care, would depend on a lot of things. Right now they are much safer otherwise.”

21. Do you have any fanboys/fangirls?

“Most certainly ;D.But none of them know much about me, of course. With that comes a transformation of those feelings”

22. What are you most afraid of?

‘Im not afraid of ANYTHING!” *eyes instantly betraying* “Fine, fine, gotta be loss. Ironic, isnt it, for i have but what is on my person. Replaceable come and goes. Im mostly afraid of losses that arent even really “mine”, but others. Loved ones or even barely known ones loosing their lives or their light. Loosing my sister, myself, my heart... that is all i am. The only thing i cannot live without is my heart, i AM my heart, and loosing pieces of it or have it broken or freezing through a hole... I hate how selfish that is. But yeah. There you go. I still tend to leave pieces of it everywhere, and it only grows with that, funny how that works, but it also tends to get wounded on every turn. I fear the numbing cold. I fear the day when i cant hold it together and go on anymore.”

(from “When you are away”)

23. What do you usually wear?

“What you see is my whole wardrobe, hahah. But i shift and change to blend in from the dirt of Orzammar’s dust town to the shining halls of Orlesian palaces. Its fun.  What i like to wear mostly are well covering clothes, that allow a great scale of mobility, but not baggy to catch on things. Made of high quality materials only. My clothes MUST be of great quality materials, more for comfort than durability. Heightened overall senses arent always fun. Oh and for outer wear i like leather, especially dragonskin stuff for light armor, and long boots are the only footwear i acknowledge, some with high heels, and a matching pair of long gloves from soft fine leather are necessary too. Long coats from mostly leather and all the necessary leather straps and harnesses and pouches and belt too of course. If it counts, all my current favorite necklaces with magical pendants and bracelets are a constant wear too. It also doesnt hurt if my clothes look great. But fine materials tailored to my body and my needs usually bring that effect without further touches.”

(*his gear gotta let his smooth ass move*)

24. Do you love someone?

“I love all good people. ...and some others”

25. When was the last time you wet yourself?

"Bahahahhahaa now thats some blunt question! It deserves to be answered truthfully. I wish i could say when i was a baby, but truth is i think it happened a few times during the wilder rides of intense poison training with blood magic assistance, but im not really sure, i was barely conscious through those parts from pain and all kinds of nasty sensations, i came to my senses naked and tucked in after them. I never do extreme limit pushing training alone. There were also times when i was subject to some blood spells and experiments unwilling too. I have some suspicious blurry memories that i have made all sorts of messes. Egh. Lets move on to more fun questions”

26. Well, it’s not over yet!

“Perfect!”

27. What class are you? (High class, middle class, low class)

“I live outside of such systems. But i took part in every class during my life, thanks to current families or goals.”

28. How many friends do you have?

“Plenty, but one cant have too many. Helping each other goes a long way. I tend to make some friends everywhere i go, but i have few close friends. The closest one is my sis’. She knows me more than i know myself, and she is always there for me, at any cost.”

29. What are your thoughts on pie?

“Pie? One of the most fun cakes. It was invented for throwing i swear!”

30. Favourite drink?

“Hmmmm... old, red wine, hot and seasoned, spiced with a nice kick of that special antivan poison blend. I dont recommend you trying it, but you dont know what you’re missing out.”

31. What’s your favourite place?

“Wherever i am welcome.”

(*one favorite place example. It is not Where, it is Who*)

32. Are you interested in someone?

“I am interested in everyone. Are you fishing for some special interest?”

33. What’s your bra cup size and/or how big is your willy?

“Hahahha oh you never disappoint! Well, it was a long time ago when i last i wore a bra, back when i could still pull off the young girl appearance, to get in paces and so on. I always made sure to have a proportional but quite evident bosom. Oh it was such fun, my long hair helped too, and i dished out that act spot on! Like that time in Val Royeaux, when the heads i turned waltzing in as part of a rich antivan court were spinning all around in frantic search in the chaos, while i walked right out as a male servant. Oh sorry, i got distracted. You also asked about my “willy” if i recall correctly. If you would like to measure it so badly we can discuss that later ;) “

34. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

“Hmmm.... whichever promises more sunk treasures and secrets. Some lakes hide quite the surprises let me tell you.”

(’Looks like a perfect place for some diving..’)

35. What’s your type?

“My type of what, exactly, dear? ;)”

36. Any fetishes?

“I am very flexible in many ways, let me tell you, in case you are planning to bend me to your will. And if id have some suggestions, well, let it remain a little mystery for now ;p”

37. Seme or uke? Top or Bottom? Dominant or Submissive?

“Depends. What would you like me to be?”

38. Camping or indoors?

“Nothing beats a warm bed and a well secured resting place. Especially with my... condition, and experiences”

39. Are you wanting the interview to end?

“Are you kidding me? You have such awkward, uncomfortable questions... Let me get a new round of drinks for us and lets do this till morning!” “What do you mean new round... when did this cup of hot wine get here? It has my name on it??? What the... I better go i think.”

40. Now it’s over!

“What? Oh come on, we just got to some really “embarrassing” parts! Talking about “embarrassing”, would you like to hear the story of my encounter with this qounari dreadnought captain and ended up on board to Ostwick? Maybe you can tell me some stories yourself too in exchange..” *puppy eyes+shining grin combo* “Well, im not exactly in a hurry...” “Excellent!” *shifts closer and pours more wine*

I tag @quizzikemen @pelle-lavellan @hadiden-lavellan @sakurabunnie @elalavella @nipuni and everyone who wants to do it! For those who already did this consider this a tag for another OC! Gotta love them all :D (if you feel like doing it. I always feel like reading it)

[hundredsunny]

op oc #3: APRIL

im baaaaaaack

u are about to read about my prime DAUGHTER april. the rogue princess. a real pokemon! hahahhahaha she nabbed herself the AURA AURA FRUIT yo this is wild so get ready to learn about ol’ blue eyes!!!!!!!!!!

NAME: april (i dont have a surname for her i cant think of anything and ive had her for 8 years im sorry) EPITHET: “aura shooter” ooOOoOOoOoo AGE: 18 (pre) 20 (post) BIRTHDAY: april (incredible would u have ever guessed) 5th!!!  BIRTHPLACE: nimbasa island in the south blue SEX: female HEIGHT: 5′6″ WEIGHT: 122lbs HAIR COLOR: sandy brown EYE COLOR: blue APPEARANCE: before she escaped her home, she wore an icy blue dress underneath a navy blue cloak and her hair down with a CROWN of course but she hated wearing it a lot. her hair when worn down reaches the middle of her biceps. after she escaped she ONLY wore her hair in a ponytail and she always wore a red bandanna with a white arch atop her head at all times!! it was a gift from her mamma the QUEEN herself. she also wore a white t-shirt with red triangles bordering the collar and the ends of her sleeves. does that make sense? i sure hope. she wore a red sash around her waist and then she popped on some black pants and boots. real piratey. also some of her hair kinda pops out in the front so theres a good chunk that sometimes covers her left side. look at u go princess. AFTER the timeskip she cut her hair so it reaches just above her shoulders, and instead of wearing her hair up and with the bandanna, she wears it down but with a black headband. her bandanna is tied around her left bicep (fashion inspo: zoro). she wears a green sleeveless crop top, and theres a scar that reaches from the back of her shoulder to the end of her collarbone. she earned that shit from her wild timeskip training. oof. shes ok. she wears light-washed pants and some addidas-lookin shoes lmao she also wears a rly loose belt too. also she has gold earrings and thas about it. her eyes are round and just v pretty and blue. her nose turns up at the end just a tad bit and it’s so cute she’s so cute. she has a dimple on the right side of her mouth. her mommas face :’) shes fairly skinny but after the timeskip she gained some muscles made 4 punching douchecanoes  REPRESENTATIVE SMELL: vanilla FAVE FOOD: pasta FAVE DRINK: lemonade  FAVE SEASON: fall REPRESENTATIVE NATIONALITY: australian BOUNTY: initial bounty was 60,000,000 (for being runaway royalty) but after dressrosa she SKRTED up to 155,000,000 DEVIL FRUIT: aura aura fruit a paramecia type. the fruit allows the user to manipulate their energy. with the aura aura fruit, users are able to detect the aura of others, repel the aura of others, and project their own. the power of aura is mood-sensitive and can change a lot. can u believe april is lucario 6 forms of aura: red is physical nature, orange is intelligence, yellow is sheer willpower, green is healing, blue is emotion, vioilet(i THINK) is mental communication. i forgot what i wrote down for the aura types lmaoooo the biggest drawback of this fruit is that the user can only use a limited amount at one time. another drawback is that they cant manipulate other people’s aura??? it’s rly hard to explain this but trust me it makes sense when it’s put into action i promise SKILLS SET: most of her attacks are used with red aura since it relates to physical nature. wild. “aura bullet” is just shootin aura goodbye. i love pokemon. lmao. uh “aura detect” is when she can see what someone else’s aura looks like, so basically she can determine if someone is a bastard or not before they even open their mouth. “aura clone” clones herself with aura and that takes a LOT of effort to pull this one off especially when she wants to use multiple clones. “aura bomb” yo this one is wild she uses it for diversions and escaping since it kinda acts as a smoke bomb but when she uses this thing in battle OOOOH BOY. “starstorm” ok this is like the “im going to die after i do this move” kinda thing. it combines all the damn types of aura and it just RAINS down on ppl. goodbye april. anyways there are more basic moves but i dont rly wanna get too into that rn im sorry PROFESSION: runaway princess lol CREW: straw hat pirates  PERSONALITY: an easygoing girl. v mellow for the most part but there are times where she can get pretty goofy (thanks jack). if the wrong buttons are pushed, she becomes a HURRICANE. she does have confidence issues but since she met luffy, she’s really started to overcome them. shes got a horrible habit of being sarcastic and also she asks a LOT of questions holy SHIT honey. she is TERRIFIED of heights so when franky lays down a good ol coup de burst, her soul leaves her body. g o o d b y e. she was very cold when she first met luffy and the gang bc she lived with the person who killed her mom AND jack left sooooo she was a little bitter. eventually she learned to rly live with the mugiwaras. when she first joined the crew, she was very shy and timid and tried hard to fit in. she was SO intimidated by zoro like he genuinely scared the fuck out of her so she always tried hard to not be a Fool around him but once she got comfortable with everyone she just had a good ol time. “hey grassy ass!! :))” “can u fucking not call me that”. she has the CUTEST laugh oh me oh my. honestly just a rly passionate gal, she just wants to be strong and be able to protect her pals. refuses outside help. bros out with luffy and usopp and chopper sometimes but also judges them from afar like nami does. it all just depends on the day. truly. i once wrote a series of one-shots where each one was an adventure that april had with one other straw hat. luffy was the first one, and THAT was wild. zoro’s was fucking baller. so on and so forth. rly shows off her dynamic with each member. april? shes honestly just a good person and im proud of her bc she works so hard  LIKES: training, traveling, every single animal ever, reading DISLIKES: heights, the marines, the heat, people who walk horrifically slow in crowded places WEAPON(S): aside from her devil fruit shes got a dagger she sometimes uses. jack gave one to her right before he left HISTORY: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO king jed and queen serena had a baby girl. APRIL. that made her the princess. anyways she grew up as any princess would--spoiled. however the spoiling never got to her head bc serena was so good about teaching her things like that. serena was a goddess i love her pls come back. serena was wildly popular with the citizens of the kingdom bc of her caring and friendly personality. she would always take april into the kingdom every day and pay visits to the citizens. out of all the citizens they paid visits to, the most common faces she saw were those of the solo family. cain was jed’s most talented and trusted knight. he and his wife celeste had 2 kids: jack and sho YO. jack was 7 yrs older than sho and 3 yrs older than april. april and jack became fast friends and often explored the kingdom together. regular kid stuff u know. jack’s mom was always like “jack NO u CANNOT take the PRINCESS to the farms thats FILTY” hahahah but they went anyway.  jed? a dark man. idk who hurt him or what made him so murderous. but. he was tired of serena treating the citizens like equals. he believed that royalty should be viewed as gods.  when april was 8 jed killed serena oh god there it is theres the tragic anime mom death. as soon as serena died, the dynamic of the kingdom instantly changed. soon after jed took total control, people began leaving the island. eventually, the island became so empty that only a handful of families remained. jed did not allow april to leave the castle at all, and with that rule, it damaged the friendship that she and jack had. ofc around that time jack’s dad ran off as well so he stopped tryin to visit her for a bit. but then once he got back into his groove hed sneak all about, avoiding the night patrols, and hed just sit outside of april’s window and talk to her.  when april was 11 she discovered a devil fruit hidden away in the trashed artifacts that belonged to her mother. she ate the devil fruit and was like “now im strong, fight me JED” but lol she got her ass whooped poor bby when april was 16 jack left the island, leaving her completely and utterly alone. the exposure to such loneliness began to change april into a more reserved, bitter person.  2 yrs later the STRAW HATS stumbled upon the island. at that time april had started a habit of sneaking out of the castle to roam the empty streets of nimbasa, but during one of her strolls, she encountered robin, franky, and brook. she ended up knocking them unconscious bc she felt threatened. the second group she met consisted of zoro, chopper, and sanji. they had been captured by guards and were brought into the throne room to be interrogated by jed. april was required to be there as well so she kinda sat in her throne and looked mad the entire time. sanji was like “NO WHY DOES SHE LOOK SO MAD SHE NEEDS TO BE HAPPY” and zoro was like “ive never seen someone so happy to see my face” and chopper was just having a crisis bc they were abt to be tossed into the shadow realm at the hands of the king. zoro got mouthy and jed didnt have none of that shit so he told april to kill zoro but she just knocked him out instead. that pissed jed off. THE NEXT person she met was luffy. she only met luffy bc he infiltrated a banquet thing by sitting underneath a cart. classic luffy. she didnt meet nami and usopp until WAAAAY later. yadda yadda yadda shit goes down (i wrote a whole arc for this. it’s called the princess and the pirates lmao original but yes i wrote an entire arc for her recruitment and it’s A Lot) ANYWAYS luffy asked her to join the crew but she declined at first bc she thought pirates were just like her father: power-hungry and murderous. however that obv changed when she was exposed to the straw hats more when luffy defeated jed who ate the ___ ___ fruit (tbh i forgot what fruit he ate im sorry) she KNEW she belonged with the straw hats. :’) she still be sailin with the legends. shes had some wild times obv. her arc comes a bit after thriller bark. woopie!!!!!!! like always, lemme know if u wanna know more about her!!!

[the-moonchild-system]

You know what I hate (and i hope the person this is about sees it some day)

I really fucking hate knowing that I was manipulated into blocking one of my best friends just based off the word of a system that I thought we could really trust. I deleted the mutual friend after this system told me about the falling out they had with this mutual friend. I took their word for it an didnt ask the friend anything at all because I truly believed this other friend would never lie to me.

Later on, my friend was telling me about a party that we had been at with a bunch of other friends. She told me the friend I blocked and my old host were really creepy together and making people uncomfortable, and even made people decide to leave days early.

HOWEVER- Veia popped up as this conversation was happening and deadass goes "that's not true... none of that ever happened. I was the one out that whole week, not Kai." Which shook me because while Veia is always pretty open with me about her memories, we had never discussed this time in our lives as this was pre diagnosis for us and it never came up in conversation until then. So for her to make a point to come out and loudly tell me "No Dana. This person is lying to you." really says something.

At this point, ive already blocked and deleted the mutual friend so when Veia stepped up I didn't know what to do. I was scared to message this friend to ask her side, but I was also scared to let this system friend know that I now knew she was using my amnesia against me.

I later talked to a third friend about this situation in full, who confirmed Veia's side of the story and even assured me that Vei and our then blocked friend didn't make anyone uncomfortable or do any of the things we were told they did. This third friend even confirmed that WE were one of the first few people to leave the long weekend slumber party because we were starting a new job the next day.

I'm just really fucking angry that I trusted this person, someone with DID, who chose to use my dissociative amnesia against me to get us to not like someone they didn't like. I'm just now processing this and I'm fucking pissed.

This person also talked mad shit on our ex host, Kai. Which like I have my own issues with Kai that I've been trying to work on. But for someone to outright be so hateful towards one of my alters, even if its an alter I don't get along with myself, just seems really wrong to me. It's like how siblings bully each other, but as soon as an ousider bullies your sibling, you're ready to throw hands. That's 100% how this person made me feel when they were talking bad about Kai.

[amandam228]

The Most Beautiful Day of My Life

I want to share the most beautiful day of my life with the world. Let me paint you a picture

It’s Saturday, October 26, 2019! The leaves have been slowing changing to their vibrant colors and the smell of fall all around us. We wake up to a bright morning with the crisp autumn air. The day starts by breaking out the fruit, bagels and spreads. Holy smokes, it’s 8 am already! That means its time for the hair and make up extravaganza to begin. Leah is brought up to the room by my mom and once she is set up the room is buzzing! Wedding preparation music playing, hot curling irons running through our hair. Before we know it she is done with hair and next it’s time for make up! Wow, just as make up starts, in comes Zack! Cameras are ready, he’s introduced to all the ladies  into the bedroom he goes to start getting the small detail shots for our big day! A small knock at the door, in comes James’ mom, she had been sneaking over enemy lines all morning just passing messages back and for between the two of us. The last message was “ he knows you’re going to be beautiful and he wants you to just keep breathing and take in the day”. Wish a slight tear in my eye she slips out the door and back to the other camp. Leah is just about done with me, another knock at the door. Who could that be? It’s not Pat, she was just here. In walks Jeff and Christen, James’ friends from college. They ooh and ahh for a few minutes before they offer a hand and tell us that they’re right down the hall before the head out to hang out with some of the other college friends. All of a sudden I have the realization that we didn’t get the money for the JP. From the make up chair I’m directing someone to call Pat because she will have the envelope because thankfully Kelly came to the rescue and had cash on her! My make up is done, as i wait for Leah to do the make up for my mom and the girls I am able to sit back and start quickly sipping champagne because the nerves are really starting to hit me. While sipping champagne and waiting for all the girls to rotate through the make up chair  we put on my jewelry, which is a sight because I can’t manage to put on my own earrings. Kelly and Andrea put on their dark green dresses with lace tank and peek-a-boo back and as they do a quick look with the jeweled belts, they just look stunning. Reading the letter from James was one of the best parts of the morning, we both had head colds going on and trying to shake it and knowing that he was just as anxious and excited as I was just made everything seem that much better. As we look at the clock, oh no, we’re running late! If you know me at all, running late isn’t an option. Everyone calms me down with “the wedding can’t happen without you, running late itsn’t that big of a deal today.” We get phone calls from the boys and they are chomping at the bit to get out of the hotel so we tell them to head to Maneeleys and we will meet them there. Shortly after the boys leave we are out the door with my wedding dress in hand as we pile into Kelly’s car. 

The ride to Maneeley’s seems to have lasted a lifetime. We get to where we are supposed to be, grab my dress and assorted other things we will need for the night and we head to the bridal suit. To get to the bridal suit we need to walk through the hall and we just are in awe of how beautiful the venue turned out. It was better than I could have dreamed it!  Once we finally get to the bridal suit we are surprised to find my uncle standing in the bridal suit waiting for the staff to put some alcohol on ice for us. We thank him and polity kick him out because i still have to get into my dress. That’s when the girls pulled my dress out of the bag. An A-line champagne lace dress with 1/2 lace sleeves and v neck and v-back accented with small pearls. While the girls got me into it was a realization that this was actually happening.Thankfully the dress zipped without any problem, something I had been worrying about for the weeks prior. Once I was all zipped up we realized that my bouquet wasn’t in the suite and that Leah hadn’t arrived yet to put the finishing touches on me. It felt like eternity for everyone to find my bouquet and for the right flowers to get to the right people. While I’m standing at the door with Leah doing my finishing touches Zack can see that I’m on the verge of a complete melt d own. “This is really is the hardest part of the whole day. The one person that you want to see and that will instantly calm you down, is the one person you’re not aloud to see. It’s almost time though, and it’s going to be great” His words were so perfectly timed and very much needed. 

It was time to walk out of the bridal suite and really get this day started! My mom was dead set on carrying my train and I told her “if you’re going to carry it, you’re going to have to keep up.” As we started walking toward the bridge where we were going to do our first looks we saw that nobody was there yet. I slightly panicked but Zack was already on it. He called Heather (his wife and the photographer that was with the boys) and told her that James need to get out there, it was time. As James took his place, I hid behind a small tree with my mother and Zack as my look out. We started heading our way over, it was a true speed walk, I told Zack that Pat wasn’t there and she needed to be there it was part of the deal. Without hesitation and within seconds, Pat was out there standing there. I finally told my mother to just drop the train, I needed to get there. Once the moms were united and the photographers where in place it was 

time to finally see my future husband for the first time that day!

It was truly a magical moment! He looked incredible in his medium dark grey 3 piece suit and dark green tie and he couldn’t stop starring at me! As we worked our way off the bridge James noticed that I had leaves in my train and in true James fashion he slightly mumbled under his breath (still loud enough for me to hear) “you’re just wearing a very expensive rake” as he picked the leaves out my dress because he knew I’d be upset if they stayed in there and nobody said or did anything about it. I saw Pat and hugged her with so much excitement. The next thing I know our entire bridal party is around us and our parents. As James took photos with the guys I kinda of hung around with Carissa and the kids and my girls. Now, it was my turn for group photo, while we’re doing all that I hear James’ mom yelling at her sister to not come over it wasn’t her time. She didnt listen because she needed her Jimmy hug, after she got her hug she was off. We blew through the group pictures like it was nothing. Zack really knew how to get us back on track! While we were doing some our group photos someone noticed I had a ladybug on my veil and being the best photographers, they did their best to get a picture of it because they knew it meant good luck from above and they saw how much it mean to our moms. Once the family and wedding party photos were done Zack and Heather took James and I away to do some our alone photos. It was a good time but you could tell that James was very done with his “camera smile”. Before we knew it were done with our pre- ceremony photos and we were under my veil taking photos. After those few photos James and I had to go our separate ways to hang out for a little bit before the ceremony would start. As Zack and I walked back to the bridal suit, I saw Ryan, a friend from home that I haven’t seen in a while and I just broke into a full on run and just attacked him! We hugged some family members (mostly McKees) on our way to the bridal suite. While we waited for the ceremony to start Leah took some photos for her portfolio and I got to hang out with the kids for a little bit. As I sat there trying to take it all in my phone rang, it was Kevin, he tried to confirm that my wedding was at Mill on the River and when I told him no, he panicked and told me not to worry, “I won’t miss it, i’ll be there.”

Before we knew it, Gemarco (our personal staff member for the day) told us it was time to line up! It was the fastest and slowest moment of my life! I could hear “Tale As Old As Time” playing as they opened the door for every person that walked out in front of me. It was time for the Titus and Scarlette to make their way out. James and I both told them the night before at the rehearsal dinner to make sure they walked nice and slow and didn’t rush, man did I slightly regret telling them that. Their walk out felt like it took 10 years. My dad standing next to me, holding my arm and telling me to relax, it’ll be my time before we know it. The kids must of made it all the way down because suddenly I heard “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran playing and it was finally my time to walk down the isle to my future. To be honest that entire walk is a blur, I slightly remember seeing my work people in one corner and then rounding the corner to see James standing their with a smile on his face. Dad and I made it to the “finish line” and James silently walked us through all the steps that we knew we would mess up and my hand was passed from my dad’s to my his and it was so memorable. As we joined hands in front of all our friends and family we made our promises and vows. James read his first and they perfect, a million times better than I was expecting them to be. He said “I Do” and placed my ring on. Now it was my turn, I remember slightly fumbling over reading my vows, not standing quite close enough to James for everyone to hear (because he was wearing the mic), repeating after the JP was a little hard for me because I was just so focused on James and every little thing happening between us. I made it through my “I Do” and placing his ring on his finger and the next thing I know I’m hearing “by the law of Connecticut I do pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride!” James kissed me with just the right amount of passion for it to be appropriate in front of everyone and the slight sound of “Love Somebody Like You” by Keith Urban playing was our indicator that it was time for us to walk out from the ceremony and get the party started. We made our way to the bridal suite with the rest of the wedding party and we hugged everyone and celebrated with everyone briefly and figured out what the next thing was. James and I went out to the back of the building and met out chariot (a golf cart driven by G) to go to the barn and take a few photos there. James was pretty excited because G had beer and alcohol for James and I and it was time to start partying! After a couple of beautiful photos by the barn, we went back to were the ceremony took place to take “formal” photos with family and friends. Some of those photos were difficult because a lot of family members kept putting their hand on my lower back and pulled on my veil. We did get a lot of good photos with not only James’ college friends, which had basically become tradition for us at this point since everyone of them were mostly married except for now us, but also a few of my college girls were there and it was such a great surprise since I hadn’t seen them since the last wedding! Once all of our photos were done outside we were able to go inside and mingle a little bit during the cocktail hour before we got announced in and the reception would start. It was great to get that time because we were able to get half the room chatted with which would make it easier after dinner. James and I didn’t really hang out together for that half hour or so. I was able to see my work people for a bit and chat with them briefly but I also had the chance to catch up with some of my friends that I hadn’t seen in probably 6 years. James met one of my best friends for the first time since our falling out. 

It was time! G had found James and I in the crowd and told us that it was time to line up and get ready for the intros. Waiting for the intros to start was a lot of fun. Our DJ, Mike came over and ran through with us what was going to happen and unfortunately our photographers weren’t there because they would have gotten some really good photos of James and I dancing with out dinosaurs! He announced Grammy, my parents, James’ parents, Ryan and Travis, the kids and then he announced Kelly and Andrea who entered the room wearing their dinosaur costumes! It was a hit, nobody knew it was going to happen. Once the crowd had a chance to take in what was happening and enjoy it, they went into the bridal suite to change and then it was our turn. As the music started playing we heard “And now please welcome the new Mr. and Mrs. James Flynn” and we heard “ baby, i just want to be young, young forever with you” and it was an incredible moment. You could feel all the love from our friends and family! As we made it to the sweet heart table where our parents were lined up, I handed my flowers to my mom and we made our way to the middle of the dance floor and we shared our first dance to “Thinking Out Loud” by Ed Sheeran. When that music started and James pulled me into him, it was just indescribably! it was the perfect moment. We got lost in each other and we just got to dance, we truly felt like we were the only ones in the room. There were a couple of spins involved that we tried to practice but it never really worked out but that’s okay because looking back on the photos from that night, they looked perfect. We finally gave Mike the nod to cut the song because we just couldnt sway anymore. Looking back I wish we took the whole song to really take in the moment but we still had that time to ourselves and it was perfect. 

We took a few extra minutes to get settled at our table before the speeches started. Ryan was up first! His speech was incredible well done. You could tell he was nervous but it never showed. He did a great job telling a lot stories about his and James’ friendship and then said “I kinda wish I was marrying you”. Shortly after he brings up New Britain and how James didn’t tell him that he was dating this girl and he started to say that it wasn’t long before I became the 4th roommate and preferable roommate. He continued on with a story about me telling he didn’t know what he was doing but turned it into saying that I was perfect for him and that it didn’t take long for me to because an essential part of our lives -James’ life. He finished with “I’m really excited to have opinions on the house you guys will pick out and most importantly give your kids really confusing nicknames” Andrea was up next, her speech was pretty short and sweet. She started with how we met at the Student Union at UConn and it turned into a conversation about the night that James and I met and how James is now the best part of my life and she couldn’t be happier for the two of us.

After the speeches it was finally time for dinner. During our pre wedding meeting with our coordinator James jokingly said he wanted chicken tenders with his dinner so when we were served our dinner, James as presently surprised to find that there were actually chicken tenders on his plate. Dinner was incredible and we couldn’t begin to thank the people responsible for making such a delicious meal. Once, James and I finished eating we went to mingle and thank each table for coming. We started with his work tables which was a poor decision looking back because those were the only table James made it to. Thankfully, I was able to just make quick small talk with everyone I needed to because if I didn’t I’m sure there would have been some people who would have been upset that they never saw us. Slowly as people started finishing their meals they got up and joined the kids on the dance floor, who completely stole the show for a while. It was great to see people enjoying themselves. Around 7 it was time for cake! Of course we did a cake cutting. It was hard to cut into such a beautiful cake though. Alexis did such an incredible job with our cake and cupcakes, they were perfect. Cutting into our cake to find a bright green velvet cake was truly incredible. It got very playful when feeding each other cake. When it was James’ turn to feed me he threatened to smear it all over me but I told him “no, i didn’t pay this much money for you ruin my face”. But we kissed and made a beautiful photo. 

Soon after we cleaned up from our cake cutting it was time for the parent dances. I was first and it was a moment I was slightly anxious about because I wasnt sure how it was going to go. We danced to “Daddy Dance With Me” by Krystal Keith, which is a beautiful song. Unfortunately, I ended up cutting the dance pretty short because it was just a very uncomfortable and awkward minute or so. My father was not enjoying himself or really engaging with me at all so I signal to Mike to cut it short. A much better dance was to watch the magic with James and his mom. James had picked the song “Then They Do” by Trace Atkins because he knew it would a song that would get his mom to tear up. It ended up backfiring on him because she never shed a single tear, which was surprising! He told her that she was in charge of telling Mike when to cut the dance but she never did. It was a moment in her life that she will remember for the rest of her life.  There was one more parent dance that we needed to have because James’ father would never have a father daughter dance because James is an only child and he’s told me for a long time that I was the daughter he never had so we felt it just needed to happen for him. Our final parent dance was to “My Wish” by Rascal Flatts. It was such an incredible moment in the night. For me it was better than my own father daughter dance so I’m incredibly thankful we were able to make it happen and that it didn’t upset Pat that James had to mother son dances that night. We danced about half the song before we invited everyone else to join us. I remember seeing Titus and Scarlette dancing with my mom and James and thinking about how lucky am to be able to spend the rest of my life with that man and eventually have a family with him. The next thing I know, the kids are grabbing my hand and Mike’s (James’ Dad, not the DJ lol) and the 4 of us are dancing together and I just thought to myself that I am one blessed woman!

After all the formalities were over it was time to party! It was so great to dance and enjoy our night with so many family and friends that love us. We danced for hours. At one point James and I saw each other from a short distance away and we were able to sneak away for a minute and sit outside on the wall of the outdoor bar and look into the our event and see so many people having fun and it was just an fantastic feeling to see so much love in one room that all came together for us. It was really great to get that moment away just to take it all in. That time away didn’t last long, someone found us and told us that we were needed on the dance floor, so it was back to the party for us. While we took a quick break Zack asked us if we could sneak away so we could take our night time photos and it was perfectly timed. As we walking out we were able to say goodbye to some of our guest and get some photos with them. Our night time photos were fantastic! Our night time photos are just filled with so much romance and sweetness. There was one bit of comic releif from all the love though. Heather needed to stand in the bushes with the flash and thankfully Zack captured that photo because that is one that we will keep with us forever. They were just a wonderful couple to work with and they just got everything right and we couldn’t have asked for a better set of people to help us capture the most important day of our lives.

James and I were able to sneak back into the party without much of grief. As we came back in DJ Mike was playing a Kenny Rodgers song for the parents and to see my parents and James’ parents dancing was incredibly touching. Shortly after Zack came over and took one last selfie with us and Heather and told us that he thinks he got everything and they were gonna head out unless we could think of anything else. Unfortunately, they left shortly before the group dances which would have been fun for them to capture but its okay, after seeing everything else they got, it made it completely fine for them have had headed out. 

The party started to wind down after we played our last slow song which was “Diamonds or Twine” by Ryan Hurd. Seeing some of my coworkers dancing with each other during that song was kind of weird but it was super sweet. Mike finished the night with “Don’t Stop Believin” by Journey and it was perfect. Some how everyone that was left was formed into a circle around James and I and for the life of me, I can’t remember what song was playing but I just remember looking at James and telling him that I was amazed that our DJ somehow was able to combine that song with the Disney opening tune. It was just so enchanting!

As everyone left we finished packing the cars and my girls got me out of my dress and back in to my yoga pants and robe and James’ mom (who never drives) got us back to the hotel safe and sound! You’d think after an insanely full day James and I would be tired, not even a little. We sat up for probably 2 more hours. The first little bit we opened all of our wedding cards and counted it all and then Travis came to hang out with us for a little bit, it was just such a chill evening after that. After Travis left James and I decided it was time for bed so at that point the magic was over. I took my hair down, took all the make off got and it was time to turn into pumpkins. To our surprise though the hotel supplied us 2 small bottles of champagne and left us some chocolates on the bed. We simply could not have asked for a better day, it absolutely the most beautiful day of our lives.

[survivorfillory]

Lily’s Jury Question

Congrats to you both, but I’m not here for pleasantries. I’m here to get down to it. I’m currently undecided in my vote. I will take how you answer my questions very seriously.

Maynor- 1.  “I had overall good standing that i was given the CODE 4-0-6 for that advantage”

So you mean Colin and myself put in the work for you to get handed an idol, just so you could play that idol on dean and ensure Colin went home? You didn’t get an idol because of your “good standing”. You got an idol because myself and Colin trusted you. More of a statement but feel free to respond.

2. Just say I didn’t go out when I did and instead Nicole left. How would that have impacted the game? How long would I have lasted with you lying straight to my face?

3. Why did you take Jess to the end over Dani?

4. When you were deciding who would be at F2 with you, did you count how many votes you thought you would get at FTC? Did you expect to get mine with how you played the game?

5. You can respond to this if you choose but be careful. I guess I just thought we had more trust then what I’m realizing. I didn’t know you were essentially in a premade F3. I thought you were the kind of person who wanted to play hard and didn’t just rely on who they already knew. Good job getting control of dean and making it as far as you did. But saying that I was your second closest ally to Dani in my ROP didn’t leave me feeling good and def doesn’t earn my respect or vote.

Jess- 1. What move was most essential in your premerge game? Be specific. 2. What move was most essential in your merge game? Be specific. 3. I was shocked and disappointed that you decided to not participate in one of the final challenges in the game. I have a tough time voting for someone who doesn’t really compete to their best ability. How am I supposed to vote for you when less effort was put forth in challenges?

BONUS QUESTION CAUSE WHY NOT: This season had some of the most dramatic twists yet all the jurors were bored and most anticipated the ending as it occurred. What could you have done differently to make this season more exciting/unpredictable?

Thanks for taking the time to respond to all my questions and I’m interested to see who takes the win. Byeeeeee

Hey Lily! Let’s get down to business!

1. So pre-merge for myself was not a walk in a park at all. The most essential move I made has a couple of layers to it and is technically two essential moves so I hope you don’t mind!

So, in order to explain this move, I have to provide you with a little backstory. Keaton was someone who I mistakenly trusted with a little too much info early on. Because of that, I had to clean up the mess Keaton caused between myself, Nicole, and Dennis. In order to do this, I used the Julia vote to gain back trust or at least to appear less threatening with my “numbers”. Although, Julia was someone who I was working with at the time on BOTH of my tribes, I knew I had to sacrifice her in order to further myself in the game after Hurricane Kwaton struck for both Dennis/Nicole to at least entertain the thought of me not wanting to murder them for a round... I was one of two swing votes that round.

Speaking of Keaton, the second essential move to this all way laying down the ground work to Keaton’s demise. I know I can’t 100% claim this move on my own because I had no vote in the say. HOWEVER, I believe I got the ball rolling and provided the framework on getting out someone who wasn’t good for my game. I did so by using the One World twist to branch out to your tribe. I exposed Keaton’s plan to take out Dean to Dean, (That’s 1 number), I let both Dani and Maynor (2 and 3) know Keaton was not to be trusted, that he was throwing out info/challenges, and that he gave me the FAMOUS Kelley Wentworth answer... WHICH I told my tribe just for added measures so it'd leak into yours possibly.

2. I’ve never been much of a “Flashy” player so a lot of my essential moves occurred more subtly because I didn’t draw too much attention to myself.

However, the most PIVOTAL move I believe I made in the game was creating the “Narwhals” (yes that was the real name, yes I know it’s lame) alliance.  I initiated it, gathered everyone together, and I do believe it was my social game and my individual relationships to each member of it (Maynor, Dani, Dean) which was the glue that kept us together for as long as it did. This alliance allowed me to do so many different things in this game such as take out big targets while remaining one myself, play the middle, and have 3 people willing to take me to the end despite being a threat and in a “duo” (That's kind of a move on it's on..). Additionally, my threat level was something that was talked about throughout the season and seen in "Touchy Subjects" where I was labelled: “Who do you trust the most”, “who do you talk to the most”, and most IMPORTANTLY “Who would you like to win this game”.

3. I understand your disappointment, I was also incredibly disappointed in myself for not getting the challenge done. I tried my hardest and did the challenge for over 3 hours (yikes) and I knew at that point someone or everyone would have beaten me. Rather than spend any more time doing the challenge, I decided it’d be best to get right to work ensuring I wasn’t going to be targeted at tribal. I also believed I could potentially use this to my advantage to decrease my “competition threat” target that had been a focal point of the arguments prior to tribal the day before. However, there are no excuses for giving up and my decision to not complete the puzzle was not taken lightly and I’m still disappointed to this day about it. Additionally, I gave my all in every challenge in this game and I hope that was reflected in the 3 immunities I won, and the two I came close in.

BONUS QUESTION CAUSE WHY NOT:

For my own personal game, I wouldn’t have changed a thing (as boring as that sounds) because every move I personally made was essential to my success and my path to getting to the end.

However, IF I had to do something different to spice things up, I think I would have flipped my vote onto Dani. That way I wouldn’t have been seen in a “duo” anymore, and the power probably would have shifted because Dean would have also jumped ship and it would have been less predictable. It would have been a m-e-s-s but it'd at least be less predictable!

Hope I answered your questions okay!

Lily-

1. I didnt say it right but yeah. Meant to say that i was able to make strong bonds with people which got me trust which helped with the code. Because if we didnt have that bond you guys wouldnt have given it to me. (The vote was for nicole to go when the idol was played. Not Colin.)

2. If you have said, i would have stuck with you and colin because I did want to play the game with you guys. Every word i said about us going to the end was true. It would have been hard to vote Dani and Jess out but would have because i meant it. But u cant say i was the only lying to you. You also lied to me by telling Dennis about the real clownies alliance without telling me. We both were playing our own games and we both had relationships with people in the game that we felt could help us. You cant get mad at me for trying to keep those connections in good standing cuz you were doing the same. Im not the only one who lied.

3. In the end of my thought process i felt me and Jess played similair games that the jury could go either way. Is it a risk yeah for sure. That was one part of my thought but also i spent the whole game with them that i decided to talk to both and Dani decided to sacrifice her game so Jess n I could be in f2. (She did it for other reasons but doesnt have to do with this game). I respect Dani a lot that I honared her wish. 

4. To be honest. No. I was just more genuinely happy that I made it to the end of the game for a theme that I really loved. This is only my 3rd time being here and I have learned that you should never expect to have anyone vote to win. Would I like to receive your vote? Yes 100% but it’s your vote and your decision which in the end I would ultimitly have to respect. 

5. I dont know if saying anything would help you believe me or not. It’s always going to come down if you believe what im saying and its just not something im just saying to get your vote. I trusted you a lot. The phrasing in rop wasnt how i felt. It was crazy how much I trusted you in the game. I know it sounds fake but im being truthful that i had equal trust to u colin dani n jess. I kept having the idol from them until I used it to save Dean. Indid that because i was also lyoal to you guys and it was our idol. Yeah its true that me Jess and Dani were working together. There was the idea of us being f3 in the beginning but it was just more of it would be really awesome if we could do it. The thing that made us solidify truly was when we felt Dennis and Nicole were coming for us 

5. I didnt mean to disrespect you in the rop if I did I truly didnt mean it. Im sorry of I did. Once again its your vote and Ill respect whichever way you vote.

6. For everyone to be in the same time zone. There were people who were from outside the us which affect the time they were on. The time zones also have an affect with activeness. People being busy with their real lifes and not being really allowed to be much on. Having more convo and people being in the main chat would have made the season more exciting.

[robertbassweb]

The 3 Keys to Success

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The 3 Keys to Success

The 3 Keys to Success

How to make a success of your life? How to have the right mindset to be successful, successful? What advice to become an actor in your life?  Learn more about the 3 keys to success.

If you want to have success in your projects, achieve your goals, you must imperatively understand that it is you who are the pilot of your life, it is you who are in control of your life!

Indeed, the choices you make will have a direct impact on the results you will get. Faced with the same situation, you have several choices, you can decide to suffer or decide to act, to take charge.

The outcome will depend on the decision you make !!

  The 3 keys to success factors

Becoming aware that you are 100% responsible for your life through the choices you make is the first key to having the right mindset, and to transforming your life. It is a key success factor, become an actor of your life rather than a spectator!

Another key success factor is taking action.

To get what you want, you have to give yourself the means, do it differently.

What will make the difference between a person who succeeds in changing their life and a person who stays in the same place is ACTION.

Do you want to know how to succeed?

Look at how successful people in your field have done it, ask yourself the right questions: how did they do it? What have they put in place to succeed and achieve their goals?

Take inspiration from their paths to adapt it to you.

And remember that YOU are in control of your life, it is you who decide by the choices you make.

  My personal opinion

This is my opinion, my philosophy and vision about the 3 keys to success.

Your opinion may diverge and I invite you not to hesitate to give your opinion in comment!

Note that all quotes in English are from Gary Vaynerchuk.

For those who don’t know it yet, I’m a complete fan. He thinks exactly like me and is excellent at communicating so I borrow his quotes while giving him credit.

Here are the 3 keys to success:

  Key # 1 – The Work

“Work Hard or Work Smart? … Do both. ” – Gary Vee

To succeed in business, you must not be afraid of working hard. You should understand that it is possible that you have weeks of 80 hours and more.

You also have to understand that, especially at the beginning, you have to be ready to put those hours.

If you want to keep the security of a full-time job in addition to your business, you will clearly have no choice but to work evenings and weekends to reach your goals.

That said, you also have to work smart. You need a process, tools and the support you need to make your job as easy as possible.

You need a team that will be able to fill your weak spots even if only on demand.

You should learn to delegate certain tasks rather than trying to learn everything yourself in the hopes of reducing your costs.

Personal example: I don’t write as well in English as in French. I manage, of course, but I would clearly take 2 times more time to make a “perfect” text in English.

So I’m dealing with a superb Ghostwriter who writes my English-speaking articles. I give her the subject, I pay her, and she lays me a great article in 48 hours or less. So I save a lot of time at this level.

And your time is precious; you can’t have more. You can make better use of it by optimizing your processes, but you will never have more than 24 hours in your day.

  Key # 2 – Creativity

“Creativity is the Variable of Success.” – Gary Vee

One of my favourite quotes. Be creative. If you do nothing to stand out from the 380,276 competitors you have, you are an option on those 380,276. Your chances of winning are therefore… 1 in 380,276.

On the other hand, if what you do is unique or only … 20 people do things like you.

Your chances of winning have just increased to 1 in 20. Much more interesting!

And being creative is at full level:

Be creative in your communications.

Be creative in your products.

Be creative in your services.

Be creative in your use of Facebook.

Be creative in your contact with your customers.

Be creative in the experience you offer.

Be creative in your relationship development.

Be creative in your loyalty strategies.

Be creative … in everything you do.

Basically, be creative in how to be creative!

Stand out so that you are noticed and that you are not forgotten. And so that we don’t forget you!

  Key # 3 – Corporate Culture

“Doing the right thing is always the right thing. to do” – Gary Vee

Create relationships with your customers. Make it your primary goal, before you even make money, to help people.

This is the winning mindset for success these days. And it’s the winning mindset for long-term success. Because 2019 is good, but will you be in 2029? If you still want to run your business, start thinking long term today.

I don’t want to scare anyone, but we’ve had steady economic growth for the past 8 years. It is one of the longest consecutive periods of growth.

What does that mean? Well yes, eventually (probably in not long) we will be entitled to an economic crisis. For those who have been in business for less than 8 years, you have never experienced this. You must be ready.

Going back to the corporate culture, if your intentions are pure and the well-being of your customers and fans is really important to you, you can only succeed.

If you are starting out in entrepreneurship, you are probably alone or have a small team. Each of your actions will create your Corporate Culture.

Whenever you speak with a customer, whenever you resolve a concern, each time you write an article. Basically, every time you do something in your business will enhance your Corporate Culture.

You need to make sure that the way you act is the way you want your partners and future employees to act.

You must, as quickly as possible, formalize your corporate culture and share it, teach it, to the people with whom you will do business.

And once again, I strongly urge you to put your customer relationships at the center of your corporate culture .

This way there, against the wind and the tide, your customers will support you. If you take care of them, they will take care of you when you need them.

    The 3 keys to success video

Date: 2018-09-04 15:27:13

Your Road Straight to Success: https://ift.tt/2Z1SDP4

Our Sponsors: https://ift.tt/2Z1SDP4

If you desire to become better, or successful at something, this article will provide you the foundation to get started. Chances are, no matter what your current income, relationship, or job situation is, you wouldnt mind being more successful.

Of course, the term success is unique to you. You must first define success and then determine what you want to be successful at.

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one thing. -Abraham Lincoln

The first step to becoming successful is to emulate the ones whove already done it. You know the saying: dont recreate the wheel.

  #1 Get a Mentor

All successful people have credited at least one influential person or mentor in their life. Mentors not only provide support but also challenge your thoughts and actions.

Not to prove whos right or wrong, but to open your horizons, offer other options, challenge pre-conceived ideas, and truly help you discover who you are.

A mentor will never accept the phrase: I dont know, its just always been that way! because a mentor believes you control your future.

  #2 Be Healthy Live Breathe Think Eat: Health.

We all know healthy living (exercise) and eating is important.

However, for the road to true success, its not enough. Its imperative your mind yes, every thought supports your decision to be successful.

Be aware of negative self-talk or thoughts. They will put a stop to your success faster than anyone or anything else. Which means you may have to re-program your thoughts. To do this, continuously reaffirm the fact you are attaining your goal.

Notice I didnt say you will attain your goal. The key is to focus on your thoughts, not your actual actions. Why? Your mind does not know the difference between fact and make-believe. By repeatedly saying youre successful, your mind will accept it as fact.

Once your entire being functions at 100%, nothing will stop you. Roadblocks become hurdles, hurdles become rocks in the road. Rocks become great stories along the way. All things will be possible.

  #3 Put Blinders On Only focus on your goal.

Henry Ford once said, Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. Keep your eyes on your goal and dont look around.

Success (whatever that may mean to you) can be attained by anyone especially you. With your eyes on the goal, a mentor to guide you, and a healthy attitude, you offer yourself no other possibility than to succeed.

Tag channel: #PowerQuadrant

    Resources:

Doenload our free manifestation guide.

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If you liked it, I would really appreciate it if you can share it using one of the social sharing icons.

Also, leave me a comment and let me know what you thought – I love talking to the readers, so hopefully will talk to you in the comments below.

  The post The 3 Keys to Success appeared first on Manifestation Matters.

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[survivorinternational]

Episode 6 - "Thank all gods, even the weird ones." - Stephen

Thank all gods, even the weird ones. I was not ready to go home pre-jury again. Although I’m still wondering if theres a hidden redemption island twist because most merges happen at 11 not 10. I also need to be careful of Clash. I trust him now, but he’s a strong player. I need to be able to have my own game apart from his, and be ready to vote his ass out when he starts getting too close to ftc.

Um so I have to vote one of my 3 closest allies which sucks but if I vote Allan that’s the best it won’t upset pat or randy and keep Stephen with me as well I hope I win this game I will IA 

Liana won immunity which sucks because she was the easy vote and puts me in a terrible position. So far Ginger and Emily/Vilma are possible votes

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Everyone's so cautious about saying names this tribal council, I definitely needed that immunity. If I don't hear anything from Liana/Ginger/Emily, I'm going to put Ginger's name out there and see where it gets me

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Looking quite bad here, Emily did tell me I should be safe, but just incase that was to mislead me, I attempted some very poor guilt trip/flattery. :(

i’m like pretty okay with going to tribal tbh because i trust the four in my alliance with me? like the only one i’m a bit weary about is ginger just bc she’s like a lil weird in general lol and she could turn on a dime :/ but i do think that if she did choose to turn on me, vilma, and michael, she wouldn’t choose me to vote out this round. she’d probably go for michael? but that’s only IF she chooses to flip. idk if she will. i have high hopes that this round will be pretty smooth. if i had it my way, we could vote tyler out now because i think he’s not as invested in this game as jacob. and it’s hard to play with people who are invested. if tyler or jacob don’t go this round, at least from our tribe, i’ll be very confused? also looking forward to merge! i’m worried but at the same time i’m content. like it’ll be a small merge which i love and i have pretty good relationships with a lot of the people left. so! that’s cute! i think i’m in a good position right now. well liked, in a somewhat powerful position, and under the radar for the most part. i haven’t really done much (or gone to many tribals for that matter) that have made me feel like a threat. yes, i was a leader on the saolatoga tribe and i was the one that brought up daniel’s name at first, but it was like an easily agreed upon decision. i don’t think people were too shaken or surprised by it. it’s something on my resume for me to see, not everyone else. and that’s exactly how i like it! i’ll read my list of doings at final tribal council. and i’ll wow the jury. but it won’t be obvious to them what i’m doing until they look at the game more objectively. i think that’s a good way to play. always on people’s minds, but not too much. positive opinion, involved in big decisions, but never the ring leader to the point where it’s dangerous. i think i’ve figured out a good balance! i’m hoping this takes me far. to the end!!!

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so there's a lot of stuff going on so im going to try to organize my thoughts. here we go. liana is immune, so that's hard on the rest of the tribe who... pretty much all wanted to vote her out but that's fine. honestly liana being immune is better for me than it is anyone else, so I am fine with it. it is making waves though, but they're fun waves. so the alliance of ginger, michael, vilma, and myself mentioned either tyler or jacob because they're the only options not in our alliance right now, but the thing is, ginger went CRAZY and was pushing for us to NOT VOTE TYLER WHATSOEVER! and they just kept pushing for jacob instead. I was very weary about this, but I didn't say anything at first until michael messages me saying that tyler is gunning for ME. and then vilma messages me saying that Michael told her this too, only he said that the reason tyler was gunning for me was because she and I were so close. SO! this means that tyler is aware of vilma and I being in an alliance. and ginger was probably the one to mention it to him. and then GINGER MADE A GROUP WITH VILMA AND TYLER SO THAT VILMA WOULD WANT TO PROTECT TYLER MORE. anyway, once this got out, michael and vilma and I made a group to talk about the vote and I think we're leaning towards ginger for the following reasons 1. way too protective over tyler for no reason. how the fuck are they so close? 2. tyler somehow knows about vilma and i's connection even though we've been extremely low key and I have never talked game with him 3. ginger is just actually crazy I think we can get liana and jacob on our side way easier than we could tyler. we're planning on telling liana and jacob about the vote, but leaving tyler and ginger in the dark. we just need to make sure none of this gets back to ginger like for real! they leak literally everything. I literally JUST messaged them saying that Tyler had thrown out my name and not even two minutes after I get a message from vilma saying that ginger had asked her about tyler throwing out my name. like ginger gets information and RUNS WITH IT. I truly cannot trust them. and it would create less waves to vote ginger out than it would anyone else on the tribe I think. like... after all the craziness that's going down, we need to send ginger home. I could kind of tell that ginger was a little weird, but I didn't expected them to be so cracked like genuinely cracked. lmao

Annoying Lyana HAD to win immunity, getting your lazy-social ass in multiple ORGs make u slay the physical game...and now I feel my ass is in danger! Im gonna do everything in order to stay here and Im already making plans. Not resting for a sec.

Sluggy voted out... saw that comming, him cheering on Stephen may have screwed us a bit At least its not Merge Double Tribal is gonna suck though. FreeRice is a great challenge, while im not 100% comfortable in my position atm but I am going to throw this challenge a little to reduce my threat a bit. Oh yay... the only one we didnt want to win immunity, and they win immunity, this is gonna make tribal fucked. I dont know what we are gonna do atm but i will to figure something out.

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Pre Double Elimination Tribal: I may have done it. It was messy bjt with the order of events, I may have been able to pull the strings to get Ginger voted out. Its going to have to keep Tyler in the dark but its going to have to be a risk we take. Ginger it too full on and too wild. He can't be trusted come merge 100%. Tyler i think we can work with a bit at least

Double tribal? No thank you. I’m hoping it’s allan that goes home, I never thought I’d say that. I’d really like to survive this tribal idk if I am though. I’m v nervous 

Uhhh so apparently we didn't merge and we have a double elimination round instead (Again???? I wonder if it's a redemption type thing this time). I couldn't compete in the immunity challenge due to a busy weekend irl so I'm vulnerable and really just hope I make it to merge. This round ended up being quite an emotional rollercoaster for me, here's a recap of some of my thoughts: 4:16 AM So ngl I would've wanted to go for Liana had she not won immunity She seems very sweet but I have chatted with her the least out of everyone She might've felt she was in danger Now I'm a bit lost and hope at least someone would tip me off if my name's thrown around 5:14 AM There's no way Ginger is voting Tyler out 8:26 AM Hmmm Jacob wanting to vote for Ginger I think Tyler I bet doesn't want that I'm trying to imagine whether I'd be willing to sacrifice Ginger or not if it came down to it I'd rather not I think Because he's been very open with me about his relationships and stuff So I feel I have a good read on him atm He still hasn't revealed he knows Clash though And I know he is capable of being messy Very good socially So I'm definitely scared of him But he is one of my closest bonds here atm so losing that would suck Of course if it comes down to me or him I have to go for it This really sucks because I like everyone on this tribe Jacob said he's closest to Emily and Tyler Tyler saying he wants to work with me and Ginger These relationships are so complex it's gonna be hard to find a common target And I don't even know what's my own preference I change it every three seconds 2:05 PM I tipped Michael off that Tyler and Ginger have become pretty close And he made a point that betraying that trust could cause us problems at merge Which I agree with So that leaves us Jacob I like Jacob a lot he is super nice but I agree he would probably be the 'least problematic' boot besides Liana As long as Emily is fine with it God I really just want to make merge and jury I've never not made them so my heart would break a little if I didn't Although my heart will break a little having to cast a vote for someone on this tribe tonight Everyone's so nice ugh 3:33 PM Um Okay so Michael told me Tyler is gunning for Em??? Apprently because her and I are close Soooo he wants to take a stab at me too? Not stunned by that That's not the best thing to hear right after establishing an alliance with someone Kinda feeling uneasy about Tyler and Ginger now People I am not voting for 100%: - Emily - Michael - Liana (she's immune lol) I feel Emily and Michael are being 100% with me So that makes me feel good about them 4:50 PM So looks like it'll be Ginger going That kinda sucks and kinda doesn't (mostly does) I'm partially okay with it because I've honestly been spooked by him since the very first day, he is very strong socially and he likes to be controversial sometimes which I like to stay away from as much as possible BUT That guy trusts me And he is genuinely very nice I like talking to him I'm gonna feel super super super dirty voting him out My heart will be filled with sorrow and I'm kinda scared of his anger afterwards He has been super honest with me so far But others are being put off by his aggressive playstyle Ughh it breaks my heart to lie to Ginger But I’m not gonna go out of my way to save him here I just don’t think that would be smart plus the numbers just wouldn’t be there Plus I feel more secure moving forward with Emily and Michael 0:04 AM I feel really really bad about this, haven't really been able to eat all day I understand why I took a six month break from orgs My mind is just not built for these I feel too bad about betraying people Plus I just think this move isn't quite ideal for me I'm betraying someone who trusts me so much and leaving out Tyler who also wanted to work with me, at least if I was alongside Ginger But I really just feel more comfortable staying with Emily and Michael I'm so sorry I'm a pussy and don't want to go out of my way to save an ally It's on me 0:57 AM I might have just messed up because I just talked to Liana assuming she had already heard about the plan but turns out NO ONE had talked to her about it yet... Two hours before tribal???? God if she lets Tyler or Ginger know I am going to be in massive trouble Also I don't think I can attend the tribal live I feel sick and disgusted at myself because of this vote, it's too much I hate myself Ginger I'm so sorry you were nothing but a good friend to me and I'm doing you so dirty I feel absolutely horrible having to lie to your face 

Did I already make a confessional about this? idk. I won immunity! yay! this is good on two ends: I cant get blindsided and; I can maintain a fiction with my Ala Mai boys that I would have been next to go most likely if I need to. Right now the target is Allen, because if we vote Randy out Pat will be miffed. My only issue with that is it gives Pat a lot of power, especially if its not an American who gets voted out from the other tribe. 

So that immunity didn’t go well. The one person we couldn’t have winning the challenge, won the challenge. Now the 4 are going to have to cannibalise ourselves and I definitely fear that eyes are on myself and Clash. Our only hope is to try and get Stephen on our side but I’m really not sure if we’ll be able to do that 

Arg hi. Just woke up and we’re gonna thrive today. That’s a lie I never actually thrive it’s a facade. Anywho we’re going to tribal cause of the double tribal twist hooray. Everyone was down to vote liana but oh no she won immunity. Right so I like ginger and Jacob but these rats are going after eachother. Everyone is extremely quiet I wouldn’t be surprised if it was me going. It looks like we don’t have enough votes to save Jacob idk, I just don’t want to be voted out ok bye

Nothing is cooking like im so bored Stephen own the individual immunity challenge so now the four of me pat clash and allan have to vote out im voting allan out, hope they do

[pitz182]

Is AA Too Religious for Generation Z?

Are today’s mutual-aid recovery groups ready to satisfy Generation-next?“More than any other generation before them, Gen Z does not assert a religious identity. They might be drawn to things spiritual, but with a vastly different starting point from previous generations, many of whom received a basic education on the Bible and Christianity. And it shows: The percentage of Gen Z that identifies as atheist is double that of the U.S. adult population.”Released early this year, Barna Group’s Generation-Z Report (Americans born between 1999 and 2015) surveyed over 2,000 13 to 18-year-olds. The oldest of this generation turn 20 in 2019.According to AA’s most recent triennial membership survey, 1% of AA is under 21—that’s about 20,000 sober teenagers in AA rooms right now. What’s my personal affinity with this demographic? It’s two-fold: I have two millennial children and one 18-year-old stepson; secondly, while I am a grey-haired Baby Boomer, I was a teen at my first 12-step meeting. My 20th birthday was 1980, three months shy of my fourth anniversary clean and sober.I was a second-generation AA member and—like Barna’s youth focus group—my worldview seemed incompatible with the old fogies of 12-step rooms. My mother mused about finding god’s will for her from meditation or her daily horoscope. She was such a Virgo, you know. Horoscopes, higher powers, legends of Sasquatch, these were all fictional symbols as far as I was concerned. Reasonable people didn’t take such constructs literally, did they?Bob K, like me, is a second-generation AA. He’s currently between historical book projects; Key Players in AA History will soon have a prequel. Bob’s follow-up research will produce a book about pre-AA addiction and treatment. At age 40, Bob made it into AA as a result of his dad 12-stepping him. He also was uncomfortable with the emphasis on "God." “When I was a month sober, it was ‘God-this, God saved me’ and I was going to put my resignation in. I didn’t think I could stand it in AA any longer. I went to the internet of the day—which back then was the library—and I looked for non-religious alternatives to AA. They had them in California but nothing in Ontario Canada. So it was AA or nothing. If I tried to brave it alone, I’d be drunk; I knew it.”Today, Bob enjoys the likeminded company at his Secular AA home group, Whitby Freethinkers, which meets in the local suburban library just East of Toronto. If I were confronting addiction/recovery as a teen today, I wonder if I would go to AA or NA? If AA was once “the last house on the block,” today it’s one house in a subdivision of mutual-aid choices. Today, newcomers have access to Refuge Recovery, SMART Recovery, Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS), or Medically Assisted Treatment, none of which existed in the 1970s.On Practically Sane, therapist Jeffrey Munn states: “I like to take a practical approach … I’m not a fan of the ‘fluff’ and flowery language that is often associated with the world of psychology and self-help.” Jeffrey came into the rooms at 20, stayed sober for 2 ½ years, relapsed, came back and is now 13 years clean and sober.“I was mandated to three 12-step meetings per week to stay in the program I was in. Since I was young I have been agnostic. I wanted to find a higher power that was common sense-based, but in the rooms I felt pulled towards a more dogmatic spiritual idea of higher power. Back then, I needed to come up with my own conception of what was happening on a psychological level." Recently, Jeffrey wrote and published Staying Sober Without God: the Practical 12 Steps to Long Term Recovery from Alcoholism and Addiction.“I looked at SMART Recovery,” Jeffrey tells The Fix. “I looked at Moderation Management, too—that one struck me as being an organized resentment against AA—I wasn’t feeling it. When it comes down to social support and a practical plan of action, it’s hard to beat 12-step programs. What I try to teach is: if you don’t buy into any kind of a supernatural higher power, navigate the 12-step world, filtering the god-stuff out, working the program in your own way; there is lots that really works.”Barna reports, “Nearly half of teens, on par with Millennials, say, ‘I need factual evidence to support my beliefs.’” Jeffrey hopes Staying Sober Without God—which joins a growing secular 12-step recovery offering—offers the rational narrative today’s youth crave. Barna calls today’s youth “the first truly post-Christian generation [in America].”Certified Master Addiction Counselor David B. Bohl of Milwaukee understands the value of other-oriented care. David tells The Fix: “As head of a 20-bed coed dual-diagnosis treatment center, emerging adults, 18 to 25 years old, came into our care. I wouldn’t say that they universally shrugged off the 12-step approach but almost universally, in reaction to our volunteers, alumni, and traditional AA community, younger clients didn’t want what the volunteers and alumni had. And I wouldn’t say it was the religiosity always. Sometimes it was an age-thing or life approach. So, our recovery management function became that much more important in terms of building individualized treatment that suits everyone.“In the USA, 75% of all residential treatment centers identify as 12-step facilitators,” David tells us. “In the simplest form, our job is to introduce people to the language and the concept of the 12 steps and then to introduce the clients to support groups or people in support groups when they are discharged from acute care.Where trauma is involved—religious trauma in particular—traditional AA language and rituals trigger that shame they feel from negative formal religion experiences.”Let’s put this overbearing religion caution to a real-life test: Suwaida F was the second oldest of 11 children to Somalian refugee parents who fled to Canada in the 1980s.“In Kindergarten I didn’t have to wear a hijab; my parents weren’t super religious. I went to an Islamic school in grade one. It was normal for teachers to have belts with them, they would hit you; child abuse was normalized. They didn’t really teach us that much math, science, history. The Islamic teachers weren’t that educated. My parents took me out and put me in public school. Then, some of my mom’s Somalian-Canadian friends started moving their kids to Egypt. My friends would stay in Egypt two years, finish the Qur’an and the girls came back wearing burqas and head-scarves. Some Muslim friends would come to school in their hijab, take them off and put them back on when they went home. We called them The Transformers.My parents really wanted us to learn the Qur’an; I don’t speak Arabic, so it was difficult. And I never believed it. I asked my mom and dad, ‘How do you know that this stuff is real?’ They got frustrated and mad and said, ‘Don’t ever ask that question again.’ I knew it wasn’t real. Mom got more and more religious. Pictures of her at age 19 -- she wore no head-scarf when she was my age. My mom expected me to be religious and I rebelled. I had to leave home.”Suwaida misses her sisters. She feels unwelcome in the family home unless she is dressed in the Islamic custom and that wouldn’t be true to herself. Away from home, Suwaida found the welcoming community she craved in the booze and cocaine culture.“It wasn’t a matter of having no money; I had no sense of hope. People at work didn’t know I was hopped from shelter to shelter at night. One winter I was told, ‘Suwaida, you’ve been restricted from every youth shelter in the city of Toronto.’” As addiction progressed, Suwaida recalls an ever-descending patterns of compromises, bad relationships and regrets.“Today, it’s like I still never unpack my suitcase; I’m always ready to go.” During a stay at St. Joe’s detox, Suwaida went to her first NA meeting.“At 7 PM, a woman spoke. I made it clear that I thought it was stupid; I wouldn’t share. At the end, everyone was holding hands to pray and I said, ‘I’m not holding any of your hands.’ I didn’t go back. When I was discharged, I went drinking at the bar with my suitcase, not knowing where I was going to stay that night.My second meeting I consider my first, because I chose it. I thought I should go to AA. I googled atheist or freethinker AA to avoid a repeat of my NA experience. I found Beyond Belief Agnostics and Freethinkers Group on the University of Toronto campus. I went there last February. For a while, I had wine in my travel-mug, and I didn’t say anything. In August I felt like the woman beside me knew I was drinking, and I ask myself, ‘What am I doing?’ So, my next meeting, I went sober. I’ve been clean and sober ever since.”Despite the child-violence of Islamic school and rejection from her family, Suwaida isn’t anti-theist. “I do believe in God or in something. I feel like I’m always looking for signs. I don’t believe in a god in the sky but to say there’s nothing beyond all this doesn’t make any sense to me. Sometimes the freakiest things happen. Maybe it’s because I’m a storyteller, I try to make a story out of everything; you think of someone, then they phone you, is that random?I feel a part-of in secular or mainstream AA meetings. My self-talk still sounds like, ‘Don’t share Suwaida, you have nothing to add.’ Maybe it comes from not being able to express myself when I was growing up. I have no sense of self. I guess I have something special to offer but I don’t know how to articulate it. It’s hard; I have limited self-confidence.”“Give them their voice; listen to them,” is Kevin Schaefer’s approach. He co-hosts the podcast Don’t Die Wisconsin. He’s also a recovery coach.“I’ve been in Recovery 29+ years. I’m a substance abuse counselor and I got into addiction treatment through sober living. When I started working in a Suboxone clinic, I came to realize that AA can’t solve everything. I always come from a harm reduction standpoint: meth, cocaine, benzos; I ask, ‘Can you just smoke pot?’ and we start building the trust there.Medically Assisted Treatment (MAT) is geared towards this generation. Most kids coming through my door know a lot about MAT, more so than people in AA with the biases and stigma that they bring. Kids sometimes know more than the front-line social workers. Their friends are on MAT, that’s how they gather their information (not to say their information is all correct). But a lot of therapists don’t understand medication. Medication can be a ticket to survival out on the streets.”The Fix asked Kevin his opinion on the best suited mutual-aid group for this generation.“Most of the generation you’re talking about walks in with anxiety and defiantly won’t do groups.” We talked about the role of online video/voice or text meetings for a tech-native generation. “Yes—where appropriate. Women especially, because from what I’ve seen, most females have suffered from trauma. I have heard women who prefer online recovery; that make sense to me. I’ve been to InTheRooms.com; as professionals we have a duty to know what’s out there. And there are some crazies online.If someone has an Eastern philosophy bent, I’ll send them to Refuge Recovery; I’ve been there. If I can, I’ll set them up with somebody that I know can help them. And let’s not forget that some youth, if Christianity is your thing, Celebrate Recovery is amazing — talk about a community that wraps themselves around the substance user. There are movie nights, food, all kinds of extracurricular activities. The SMART Recovery Movement? Excellent. SMART momentum is building in Milwaukee. They are goal-oriented and the person gets supported whether they’re on Suboxone or, in one case I know, micro-dosing with LSD for depression; they’ll be supported either way. My goal with youth is: ‘Try to get to one meeting this month; start slow.’ Don’t set the bar too high and if they enjoy it, then great.The 12-step meeting I go to, it’s a men’s meeting. There are people there on medication and they don’t get blow-back. I wish more of AA was like this. When I came in, almost 30 years ago now, I saw all the God-stuff on the walls and I thought, ‘Nah, this isn’t going to work’ but thank G… (laughs), thank the Group of Drunks who said, ‘You don’t have to believe in that.’ The range in my meeting is broad—Eastern philosophy, Native American practices, Yoga, I was invited to Transcendental Meditation meetings at members’ houses. I was fortunate to fall into this group. You know, the first book my sponsor gave me was The Tao of Physics—not The Big Book—it was this 70’s book with Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, correlated to physics and contemporary science.”So, as to the question that kicked this off, some mutual aid meetings are ready to meet the taste of a new generation; results may vary. Who’s heard: “If you haven’t met anyone you don’t like in AA, you haven’t gone to enough meetings”?The reverse is true, also. If the peer-to-peer meetings I’ve sampled seem too narrow or dogmatic, maybe my search for just the right fit isn’t over. And if I don’t want a face-to-face meeting, there’s always Kevin’s podcast, virtual communities like The Fix, or I can order one of Bob or David or Jeffrey’s books if that’s more to my taste.

[alexdmorgan30]

Is AA Too Religious for Generation Z?

Are today’s mutual-aid recovery groups ready to satisfy Generation-next?“More than any other generation before them, Gen Z does not assert a religious identity. They might be drawn to things spiritual, but with a vastly different starting point from previous generations, many of whom received a basic education on the Bible and Christianity. And it shows: The percentage of Gen Z that identifies as atheist is double that of the U.S. adult population.”Released early this year, Barna Group’s Generation-Z Report (Americans born between 1999 and 2015) surveyed over 2,000 13 to 18-year-olds. The oldest of this generation turn 20 in 2019.According to AA’s most recent triennial membership survey, 1% of AA is under 21—that’s about 20,000 sober teenagers in AA rooms right now. What’s my personal affinity with this demographic? It’s two-fold: I have two millennial children and one 18-year-old stepson; secondly, while I am a grey-haired Baby Boomer, I was a teen at my first 12-step meeting. My 20th birthday was 1980, three months shy of my fourth anniversary clean and sober.I was a second-generation AA member and—like Barna’s youth focus group—my worldview seemed incompatible with the old fogies of 12-step rooms. My mother mused about finding god’s will for her from meditation or her daily horoscope. She was such a Virgo, you know. Horoscopes, higher powers, legends of Sasquatch, these were all fictional symbols as far as I was concerned. Reasonable people didn’t take such constructs literally, did they?Bob K, like me, is a second-generation AA. He’s currently between historical book projects; Key Players in AA History will soon have a prequel. Bob’s follow-up research will produce a book about pre-AA addiction and treatment. At age 40, Bob made it into AA as a result of his dad 12-stepping him. He also was uncomfortable with the emphasis on "God." “When I was a month sober, it was ‘God-this, God saved me’ and I was going to put my resignation in. I didn’t think I could stand it in AA any longer. I went to the internet of the day—which back then was the library—and I looked for non-religious alternatives to AA. They had them in California but nothing in Ontario Canada. So it was AA or nothing. If I tried to brave it alone, I’d be drunk; I knew it.”Today, Bob enjoys the likeminded company at his Secular AA home group, Whitby Freethinkers, which meets in the local suburban library just East of Toronto. If I were confronting addiction/recovery as a teen today, I wonder if I would go to AA or NA? If AA was once “the last house on the block,” today it’s one house in a subdivision of mutual-aid choices. Today, newcomers have access to Refuge Recovery, SMART Recovery, Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS), or Medically Assisted Treatment, none of which existed in the 1970s.On Practically Sane, therapist Jeffrey Munn states: “I like to take a practical approach … I’m not a fan of the ‘fluff’ and flowery language that is often associated with the world of psychology and self-help.” Jeffrey came into the rooms at 20, stayed sober for 2 ½ years, relapsed, came back and is now 13 years clean and sober.“I was mandated to three 12-step meetings per week to stay in the program I was in. Since I was young I have been agnostic. I wanted to find a higher power that was common sense-based, but in the rooms I felt pulled towards a more dogmatic spiritual idea of higher power. Back then, I needed to come up with my own conception of what was happening on a psychological level." Recently, Jeffrey wrote and published Staying Sober Without God: the Practical 12 Steps to Long Term Recovery from Alcoholism and Addiction.“I looked at SMART Recovery,” Jeffrey tells The Fix. “I looked at Moderation Management, too—that one struck me as being an organized resentment against AA—I wasn’t feeling it. When it comes down to social support and a practical plan of action, it’s hard to beat 12-step programs. What I try to teach is: if you don’t buy into any kind of a supernatural higher power, navigate the 12-step world, filtering the god-stuff out, working the program in your own way; there is lots that really works.”Barna reports, “Nearly half of teens, on par with Millennials, say, ‘I need factual evidence to support my beliefs.’” Jeffrey hopes Staying Sober Without God—which joins a growing secular 12-step recovery offering—offers the rational narrative today’s youth crave. Barna calls today’s youth “the first truly post-Christian generation [in America].”Certified Master Addiction Counselor David B. Bohl of Milwaukee understands the value of other-oriented care. David tells The Fix: “As head of a 20-bed coed dual-diagnosis treatment center, emerging adults, 18 to 25 years old, came into our care. I wouldn’t say that they universally shrugged off the 12-step approach but almost universally, in reaction to our volunteers, alumni, and traditional AA community, younger clients didn’t want what the volunteers and alumni had. And I wouldn’t say it was the religiosity always. Sometimes it was an age-thing or life approach. So, our recovery management function became that much more important in terms of building individualized treatment that suits everyone.“In the USA, 75% of all residential treatment centers identify as 12-step facilitators,” David tells us. “In the simplest form, our job is to introduce people to the language and the concept of the 12 steps and then to introduce the clients to support groups or people in support groups when they are discharged from acute care.Where trauma is involved—religious trauma in particular—traditional AA language and rituals trigger that shame they feel from negative formal religion experiences.”Let’s put this overbearing religion caution to a real-life test: Suwaida F was the second oldest of 11 children to Somalian refugee parents who fled to Canada in the 1980s.“In Kindergarten I didn’t have to wear a hijab; my parents weren’t super religious. I went to an Islamic school in grade one. It was normal for teachers to have belts with them, they would hit you; child abuse was normalized. They didn’t really teach us that much math, science, history. The Islamic teachers weren’t that educated. My parents took me out and put me in public school. Then, some of my mom’s Somalian-Canadian friends started moving their kids to Egypt. My friends would stay in Egypt two years, finish the Qur’an and the girls came back wearing burqas and head-scarves. Some Muslim friends would come to school in their hijab, take them off and put them back on when they went home. We called them The Transformers.My parents really wanted us to learn the Qur’an; I don’t speak Arabic, so it was difficult. And I never believed it. I asked my mom and dad, ‘How do you know that this stuff is real?’ They got frustrated and mad and said, ‘Don’t ever ask that question again.’ I knew it wasn’t real. Mom got more and more religious. Pictures of her at age 19 -- she wore no head-scarf when she was my age. My mom expected me to be religious and I rebelled. I had to leave home.”Suwaida misses her sisters. She feels unwelcome in the family home unless she is dressed in the Islamic custom and that wouldn’t be true to herself. Away from home, Suwaida found the welcoming community she craved in the booze and cocaine culture.“It wasn’t a matter of having no money; I had no sense of hope. People at work didn’t know I was hopped from shelter to shelter at night. One winter I was told, ‘Suwaida, you’ve been restricted from every youth shelter in the city of Toronto.’” As addiction progressed, Suwaida recalls an ever-descending patterns of compromises, bad relationships and regrets.“Today, it’s like I still never unpack my suitcase; I’m always ready to go.” During a stay at St. Joe’s detox, Suwaida went to her first NA meeting.“At 7 PM, a woman spoke. I made it clear that I thought it was stupid; I wouldn’t share. At the end, everyone was holding hands to pray and I said, ‘I’m not holding any of your hands.’ I didn’t go back. When I was discharged, I went drinking at the bar with my suitcase, not knowing where I was going to stay that night.My second meeting I consider my first, because I chose it. I thought I should go to AA. I googled atheist or freethinker AA to avoid a repeat of my NA experience. I found Beyond Belief Agnostics and Freethinkers Group on the University of Toronto campus. I went there last February. For a while, I had wine in my travel-mug, and I didn’t say anything. In August I felt like the woman beside me knew I was drinking, and I ask myself, ‘What am I doing?’ So, my next meeting, I went sober. I’ve been clean and sober ever since.”Despite the child-violence of Islamic school and rejection from her family, Suwaida isn’t anti-theist. “I do believe in God or in something. I feel like I’m always looking for signs. I don’t believe in a god in the sky but to say there’s nothing beyond all this doesn’t make any sense to me. Sometimes the freakiest things happen. Maybe it’s because I’m a storyteller, I try to make a story out of everything; you think of someone, then they phone you, is that random?I feel a part-of in secular or mainstream AA meetings. My self-talk still sounds like, ‘Don’t share Suwaida, you have nothing to add.’ Maybe it comes from not being able to express myself when I was growing up. I have no sense of self. I guess I have something special to offer but I don’t know how to articulate it. It’s hard; I have limited self-confidence.”“Give them their voice; listen to them,” is Kevin Schaefer’s approach. He co-hosts the podcast Don’t Die Wisconsin. He’s also a recovery coach.“I’ve been in Recovery 29+ years. I’m a substance abuse counselor and I got into addiction treatment through sober living. When I started working in a Suboxone clinic, I came to realize that AA can’t solve everything. I always come from a harm reduction standpoint: meth, cocaine, benzos; I ask, ‘Can you just smoke pot?’ and we start building the trust there.Medically Assisted Treatment (MAT) is geared towards this generation. Most kids coming through my door know a lot about MAT, more so than people in AA with the biases and stigma that they bring. Kids sometimes know more than the front-line social workers. Their friends are on MAT, that’s how they gather their information (not to say their information is all correct). But a lot of therapists don’t understand medication. Medication can be a ticket to survival out on the streets.”The Fix asked Kevin his opinion on the best suited mutual-aid group for this generation.“Most of the generation you’re talking about walks in with anxiety and defiantly won’t do groups.” We talked about the role of online video/voice or text meetings for a tech-native generation. “Yes—where appropriate. Women especially, because from what I’ve seen, most females have suffered from trauma. I have heard women who prefer online recovery; that make sense to me. I’ve been to InTheRooms.com; as professionals we have a duty to know what’s out there. And there are some crazies online.If someone has an Eastern philosophy bent, I’ll send them to Refuge Recovery; I’ve been there. If I can, I’ll set them up with somebody that I know can help them. And let’s not forget that some youth, if Christianity is your thing, Celebrate Recovery is amazing — talk about a community that wraps themselves around the substance user. There are movie nights, food, all kinds of extracurricular activities. The SMART Recovery Movement? Excellent. SMART momentum is building in Milwaukee. They are goal-oriented and the person gets supported whether they’re on Suboxone or, in one case I know, micro-dosing with LSD for depression; they’ll be supported either way. My goal with youth is: ‘Try to get to one meeting this month; start slow.’ Don’t set the bar too high and if they enjoy it, then great.The 12-step meeting I go to, it’s a men’s meeting. There are people there on medication and they don’t get blow-back. I wish more of AA was like this. When I came in, almost 30 years ago now, I saw all the God-stuff on the walls and I thought, ‘Nah, this isn’t going to work’ but thank G… (laughs), thank the Group of Drunks who said, ‘You don’t have to believe in that.’ The range in my meeting is broad—Eastern philosophy, Native American practices, Yoga, I was invited to Transcendental Meditation meetings at members’ houses. I was fortunate to fall into this group. You know, the first book my sponsor gave me was The Tao of Physics—not The Big Book—it was this 70’s book with Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, correlated to physics and contemporary science.”So, as to the question that kicked this off, some mutual aid meetings are ready to meet the taste of a new generation; results may vary. Who’s heard: “If you haven’t met anyone you don’t like in AA, you haven’t gone to enough meetings”?The reverse is true, also. If the peer-to-peer meetings I’ve sampled seem too narrow or dogmatic, maybe my search for just the right fit isn’t over. And if I don’t want a face-to-face meeting, there’s always Kevin’s podcast, virtual communities like The Fix, or I can order one of Bob or David or Jeffrey’s books if that’s more to my taste.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241841 http://bit.ly/2B5JhVm

[emlydunstan]

Is AA Too Religious for Generation Z?

Are today’s mutual-aid recovery groups ready to satisfy Generation-next?“More than any other generation before them, Gen Z does not assert a religious identity. They might be drawn to things spiritual, but with a vastly different starting point from previous generations, many of whom received a basic education on the Bible and Christianity. And it shows: The percentage of Gen Z that identifies as atheist is double that of the U.S. adult population.”Released early this year, Barna Group’s Generation-Z Report (Americans born between 1999 and 2015) surveyed over 2,000 13 to 18-year-olds. The oldest of this generation turn 20 in 2019.According to AA’s most recent triennial membership survey, 1% of AA is under 21—that’s about 20,000 sober teenagers in AA rooms right now. What’s my personal affinity with this demographic? It’s two-fold: I have two millennial children and one 18-year-old stepson; secondly, while I am a grey-haired Baby Boomer, I was a teen at my first 12-step meeting. My 20th birthday was 1980, three months shy of my fourth anniversary clean and sober.I was a second-generation AA member and—like Barna’s youth focus group—my worldview seemed incompatible with the old fogies of 12-step rooms. My mother mused about finding god’s will for her from meditation or her daily horoscope. She was such a Virgo, you know. Horoscopes, higher powers, legends of Sasquatch, these were all fictional symbols as far as I was concerned. Reasonable people didn’t take such constructs literally, did they?Bob K, like me, is a second-generation AA. He’s currently between historical book projects; Key Players in AA History will soon have a prequel. Bob’s follow-up research will produce a book about pre-AA addiction and treatment. At age 40, Bob made it into AA as a result of his dad 12-stepping him. He also was uncomfortable with the emphasis on "God." “When I was a month sober, it was ‘God-this, God saved me’ and I was going to put my resignation in. I didn’t think I could stand it in AA any longer. I went to the internet of the day—which back then was the library—and I looked for non-religious alternatives to AA. They had them in California but nothing in Ontario Canada. So it was AA or nothing. If I tried to brave it alone, I’d be drunk; I knew it.”Today, Bob enjoys the likeminded company at his Secular AA home group, Whitby Freethinkers, which meets in the local suburban library just East of Toronto. If I were confronting addiction/recovery as a teen today, I wonder if I would go to AA or NA? If AA was once “the last house on the block,” today it’s one house in a subdivision of mutual-aid choices. Today, newcomers have access to Refuge Recovery, SMART Recovery, Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS), or Medically Assisted Treatment, none of which existed in the 1970s.On Practically Sane, therapist Jeffrey Munn states: “I like to take a practical approach … I’m not a fan of the ‘fluff’ and flowery language that is often associated with the world of psychology and self-help.” Jeffrey came into the rooms at 20, stayed sober for 2 ½ years, relapsed, came back and is now 13 years clean and sober.“I was mandated to three 12-step meetings per week to stay in the program I was in. Since I was young I have been agnostic. I wanted to find a higher power that was common sense-based, but in the rooms I felt pulled towards a more dogmatic spiritual idea of higher power. Back then, I needed to come up with my own conception of what was happening on a psychological level." Recently, Jeffrey wrote and published Staying Sober Without God: the Practical 12 Steps to Long Term Recovery from Alcoholism and Addiction.“I looked at SMART Recovery,” Jeffrey tells The Fix. “I looked at Moderation Management, too—that one struck me as being an organized resentment against AA—I wasn’t feeling it. When it comes down to social support and a practical plan of action, it’s hard to beat 12-step programs. What I try to teach is: if you don’t buy into any kind of a supernatural higher power, navigate the 12-step world, filtering the god-stuff out, working the program in your own way; there is lots that really works.”Barna reports, “Nearly half of teens, on par with Millennials, say, ‘I need factual evidence to support my beliefs.’” Jeffrey hopes Staying Sober Without God—which joins a growing secular 12-step recovery offering—offers the rational narrative today’s youth crave. Barna calls today’s youth “the first truly post-Christian generation [in America].”Certified Master Addiction Counselor David B. Bohl of Milwaukee understands the value of other-oriented care. David tells The Fix: “As head of a 20-bed coed dual-diagnosis treatment center, emerging adults, 18 to 25 years old, came into our care. I wouldn’t say that they universally shrugged off the 12-step approach but almost universally, in reaction to our volunteers, alumni, and traditional AA community, younger clients didn’t want what the volunteers and alumni had. And I wouldn’t say it was the religiosity always. Sometimes it was an age-thing or life approach. So, our recovery management function became that much more important in terms of building individualized treatment that suits everyone.“In the USA, 75% of all residential treatment centers identify as 12-step facilitators,” David tells us. “In the simplest form, our job is to introduce people to the language and the concept of the 12 steps and then to introduce the clients to support groups or people in support groups when they are discharged from acute care.Where trauma is involved—religious trauma in particular—traditional AA language and rituals trigger that shame they feel from negative formal religion experiences.”Let’s put this overbearing religion caution to a real-life test: Suwaida F was the second oldest of 11 children to Somalian refugee parents who fled to Canada in the 1980s.“In Kindergarten I didn’t have to wear a hijab; my parents weren’t super religious. I went to an Islamic school in grade one. It was normal for teachers to have belts with them, they would hit you; child abuse was normalized. They didn’t really teach us that much math, science, history. The Islamic teachers weren’t that educated. My parents took me out and put me in public school. Then, some of my mom’s Somalian-Canadian friends started moving their kids to Egypt. My friends would stay in Egypt two years, finish the Qur’an and the girls came back wearing burqas and head-scarves. Some Muslim friends would come to school in their hijab, take them off and put them back on when they went home. We called them The Transformers.My parents really wanted us to learn the Qur’an; I don’t speak Arabic, so it was difficult. And I never believed it. I asked my mom and dad, ‘How do you know that this stuff is real?’ They got frustrated and mad and said, ‘Don’t ever ask that question again.’ I knew it wasn’t real. Mom got more and more religious. Pictures of her at age 19 -- she wore no head-scarf when she was my age. My mom expected me to be religious and I rebelled. I had to leave home.”Suwaida misses her sisters. She feels unwelcome in the family home unless she is dressed in the Islamic custom and that wouldn’t be true to herself. Away from home, Suwaida found the welcoming community she craved in the booze and cocaine culture.“It wasn’t a matter of having no money; I had no sense of hope. People at work didn’t know I was hopped from shelter to shelter at night. One winter I was told, ‘Suwaida, you’ve been restricted from every youth shelter in the city of Toronto.’” As addiction progressed, Suwaida recalls an ever-descending patterns of compromises, bad relationships and regrets.“Today, it’s like I still never unpack my suitcase; I’m always ready to go.” During a stay at St. Joe’s detox, Suwaida went to her first NA meeting.“At 7 PM, a woman spoke. I made it clear that I thought it was stupid; I wouldn’t share. At the end, everyone was holding hands to pray and I said, ‘I’m not holding any of your hands.’ I didn’t go back. When I was discharged, I went drinking at the bar with my suitcase, not knowing where I was going to stay that night.My second meeting I consider my first, because I chose it. I thought I should go to AA. I googled atheist or freethinker AA to avoid a repeat of my NA experience. I found Beyond Belief Agnostics and Freethinkers Group on the University of Toronto campus. I went there last February. For a while, I had wine in my travel-mug, and I didn’t say anything. In August I felt like the woman beside me knew I was drinking, and I ask myself, ‘What am I doing?’ So, my next meeting, I went sober. I’ve been clean and sober ever since.”Despite the child-violence of Islamic school and rejection from her family, Suwaida isn’t anti-theist. “I do believe in God or in something. I feel like I’m always looking for signs. I don’t believe in a god in the sky but to say there’s nothing beyond all this doesn’t make any sense to me. Sometimes the freakiest things happen. Maybe it’s because I’m a storyteller, I try to make a story out of everything; you think of someone, then they phone you, is that random?I feel a part-of in secular or mainstream AA meetings. My self-talk still sounds like, ‘Don’t share Suwaida, you have nothing to add.’ Maybe it comes from not being able to express myself when I was growing up. I have no sense of self. I guess I have something special to offer but I don’t know how to articulate it. It’s hard; I have limited self-confidence.”“Give them their voice; listen to them,” is Kevin Schaefer’s approach. He co-hosts the podcast Don’t Die Wisconsin. He’s also a recovery coach.“I’ve been in Recovery 29+ years. I’m a substance abuse counselor and I got into addiction treatment through sober living. When I started working in a Suboxone clinic, I came to realize that AA can’t solve everything. I always come from a harm reduction standpoint: meth, cocaine, benzos; I ask, ‘Can you just smoke pot?’ and we start building the trust there.Medically Assisted Treatment (MAT) is geared towards this generation. Most kids coming through my door know a lot about MAT, more so than people in AA with the biases and stigma that they bring. Kids sometimes know more than the front-line social workers. Their friends are on MAT, that’s how they gather their information (not to say their information is all correct). But a lot of therapists don’t understand medication. Medication can be a ticket to survival out on the streets.”The Fix asked Kevin his opinion on the best suited mutual-aid group for this generation.“Most of the generation you’re talking about walks in with anxiety and defiantly won’t do groups.” We talked about the role of online video/voice or text meetings for a tech-native generation. “Yes—where appropriate. Women especially, because from what I’ve seen, most females have suffered from trauma. I have heard women who prefer online recovery; that make sense to me. I’ve been to InTheRooms.com; as professionals we have a duty to know what’s out there. And there are some crazies online.If someone has an Eastern philosophy bent, I’ll send them to Refuge Recovery; I’ve been there. If I can, I’ll set them up with somebody that I know can help them. And let’s not forget that some youth, if Christianity is your thing, Celebrate Recovery is amazing — talk about a community that wraps themselves around the substance user. There are movie nights, food, all kinds of extracurricular activities. The SMART Recovery Movement? Excellent. SMART momentum is building in Milwaukee. They are goal-oriented and the person gets supported whether they’re on Suboxone or, in one case I know, micro-dosing with LSD for depression; they’ll be supported either way. My goal with youth is: ‘Try to get to one meeting this month; start slow.’ Don’t set the bar too high and if they enjoy it, then great.The 12-step meeting I go to, it’s a men’s meeting. There are people there on medication and they don’t get blow-back. I wish more of AA was like this. When I came in, almost 30 years ago now, I saw all the God-stuff on the walls and I thought, ‘Nah, this isn’t going to work’ but thank G… (laughs), thank the Group of Drunks who said, ‘You don’t have to believe in that.’ The range in my meeting is broad—Eastern philosophy, Native American practices, Yoga, I was invited to Transcendental Meditation meetings at members’ houses. I was fortunate to fall into this group. You know, the first book my sponsor gave me was The Tao of Physics—not The Big Book—it was this 70’s book with Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, correlated to physics and contemporary science.”So, as to the question that kicked this off, some mutual aid meetings are ready to meet the taste of a new generation; results may vary. Who’s heard: “If you haven’t met anyone you don’t like in AA, you haven’t gone to enough meetings”?The reverse is true, also. If the peer-to-peer meetings I’ve sampled seem too narrow or dogmatic, maybe my search for just the right fit isn’t over. And if I don’t want a face-to-face meeting, there’s always Kevin’s podcast, virtual communities like The Fix, or I can order one of Bob or David or Jeffrey’s books if that’s more to my taste.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241841 https://www.thefix.com/aa-too-religious-generation-z

[blogdangerousobjectcollecto-blog]

Life insurance licensing?

"Life insurance licensing?

Has anybody ever taken a test to get your license for life insurance, health and annuities?  I'm about to take a test and was wondering if there were any good websites available or even any tests.  Any advice would be great!

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://saleinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Has anybody ever taken a test to get your license for life insurance, health and annuities?  I'm about to take a test and was wondering if there were any good websites available or even any tests.  Any advice would be great!

How much would small business insurance be?

This is for a marketing assignment. The business is a small gardening and cooking school for children. There are about 8 staff and activities should be pretty safe, since they're aimed at young people. The business is just starting out. What the instructions mention is: 1.property damage 2. public liability 3. vehicle 4. theft 5. personal disability 6. professional indemnity Kids hire their own bus to come here and staff ust use their own cars to go to and from work, so does the vehicle thing need to be included? The building is just a suburban rental property that costs us $400 rent each week. Also, this is just a minor part of the assignment, so a guess is fine. Thanks for any help!""

Where can i look for insurance if you are self employed?

I am currently employed in a coporation and have health coverage. I was planning on leaving but with my family history and my current medication for high blood pressure. I don't know if i can get coverage and it be pre-existing?

Do insurance rates go up if i get a lift?

i want to put a lift on my truck, but i dont know what that would do to the insurance if anything. its a 1994 silverado, extended cab, short bed, 1500. plz no stupid spam answers!""

Can you really find cheap health insurance ?

I live in mass and i can not find health insurance for my needs and have been denied by the state health insurance. Dont know what to do ... anyone can help ?

Should I get a full coverage insurance on a rental car?

I have to rent a car for 2 weeks for business. Supposely, the cost should be reimbursed to me by a company after the assingment is done. Not sure if I can truly trust that. But anyway, if I don't get the insurance, it will be $500. But if I get insurance, it is $1200. I am a safe driver and I will be in a rural place. I am trying to convince myself that I don't need it. But then again, I worry about what might happen if accidents occur. The cost of rental car will be reimbursed by a company. But I am not sure if they are actully going to do that in timely manner and my credit card balance is high. I don't want to put extra money charged into my account. My credit card company and auto insurance company (on my own car) told me that they do not have insurance coverage on rental cars. What do you think? Thanks""

Cheap insurance for a sixteen year old girl on suzuki 124cc maurder?

living in limerick ireland

Health insurance coverage or car insurance- accident?

Uninsured Motorist Bodily Injury Bodily Injury i am looking for some auto insurance ...can you please clarify me the difference between the above two .. also, when i get into an accident, who will cover for my medical charges .. is it insurance from the car insurance company or from employer's health insurance provider that covers my medical charges? i also have a health coverage from my employer""

Should i sell my car and purchase a bike?

My situation is i currently own a car but as usual it just seems to be sucking up all my income. I'm currently a student but i work part time aswel with quite a good income. I need some sort of transport as 2-3 times a week i finish work really early in the morning when public transport is unavailable, work is about 25km away so its not a huge distance. The market value of my car is $8500AUD at the moment which would be more than enough to get a bike and appropriate gear plus rego but would it be any cheaper? On my car i spend $60 on petrol each week plus maintenance costs for the past year have been around $870 including rego and insurance it costs me around $5500 to maintain it each year, would a bike be any cheaper? and is it wort the trade off im spending around 1/4 of my incoming on this car which could be going to more important things.""

Two car insurance policies?

very sorry if this is confusing for people to read but please try and help me out as i have confused myself =\ I have 1 years no claim bonus, and if idon'tt claim till May then i will have two years no claim. i am going to buy another car in a few days and tend to open a new car insurance Policy (Februaryy ). when it comes to may and the first carpolicye has finish. i shall not be driving that car no more. but when it comes to Febuary, will it mean that i have 3 years no claims ? even though i have been driving 2 years 9 months,,

What would the insurance cost for a 2002 Audi TT?

Just looking for a quick estimate. I'm a 20 year old male with a moving violation that happened two years ago. It would be a California car. Probably would drive about 8,000 miles a year. Also would it matter if it was a roadster(convertible) or coupe? Thanks""

How much will my insurance go up with one point on my license?

I live in California and I have Farmers insurance, got a ticket for a speeding back in December and I didn't take traffic school so there's now a point on my ticket. Anyone know if Farmers cares about one point on the license and if so how I will be affected?""

Help with car insurance?

i have a driving licence but do not own a car so i have no insurance of my own. if my friends mum offered to lend me her car for a few hours could i drive it through her insurance if she is fully comp and she gave me permission to drive it? and if i was to get pulled over by the police what would happen ?

Cheapest auto insurance?

What is the cheapest auto insurance from personal experience, Please and thank you!!""

I need Auto insurance for the Yukon?

I am looking for a canadian auto insurance company for coverage in the yukon. Having trouble finding one online. Can anyone help? Thanks

How can I get affordable health insurance for my husband and I in the state of Florida?

I am a healthy 23 yr. old and my husband is a stable 32 yr. old.

Would it cost more than 5000 per year to insure a Ferrari F430? heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

my uncle is buying a second hand 2009 ferrari f430. it has done 20k miles. and it is a convertible. he has a 3 year no claim bonus and has been driving for 5 years. he parks his car in his drive way and he drives 15k miles per year. ( i know it is stupid to use a ferrari as an every day car.) how much would it cost him. i mean he earns 30k per year and his wife earns 30k per year. he has always been a big car person and he started saving up about 7 years ago to buy a ferrari 360, but now he bought a f430. so how much would it cost him, actually will cost around the same for ANYONE who has a driving history like his. i wanna know because in the future i would loooooooooove to have a ferrari.""

Unemployment Insurance for Teenagers?

The business I have worked at for 3 years has just announced they are shutting their doors at the end of the month. I am only 17 but have been told that I am still able to apply for unemployment benefits...which I know next to nothing about. Basically, I've only worked 10-20 hours a week for a wage slightly above minimum. It's just been a part time job for me since I'm a student and involved in several sports and challenging classes. However, I'm still trying to save money for college, so...what do I actually get when I file for unemployment and am hunting for a job? Anything? Sorry if this question sounds ditzy...I don't know much about the workforce.""

Car insurance question - backed into someone?

This afternoon, I was backing out of a parking spot in a crowded lot. I was going under 5 mph and backed into someone. There was a very small dent in their bumper in front of the passenger tire. No damage to my car. They pulled over. I gave him my name and phone number and told him to call me. He said they would probably pull the dent out themselves or that it couldn't cost more than $100 to fix . I didn't get any of his info and only gave him my name and phone number. After I left, I started to regret not getting his info. I'm trying to decide if I should report it to my insurance company now or wait to see if he calls me. Any advice?""

Health Insurance for 24 year old male?

Son has Blue Cross but it is now $137 per month......anyone know of any comparable insurance that is cheaper and has similar benefits? It is just him....no wife or no kids. Thanks.

What are some cheap car insurance for first time drivers?

What are some cheap car insurance for first time drivers?

Cheap cars to get insured on in the UK on a provisonal license?

cheap cars for young drivers to get insured on? Ok so I am a provisonal driver - currently the cheapest insurance quote i have found is for a smart car @ 730. Has any other provisional drivers got or had insurance on any cars that give a real cheap insurance? I was kind of thjintking a cheap 150 quid car would have even cheaper insurance but it turned out to be more expensive (Im lookin at 3rd party cover, not inc theft and fire btw)""

Will you encourage health insurance to be sold across state lines?

I can buy car insurance anywhere but not health insurance. Why? If competition brings down prices then selling health insurance across state lines should bring prices down. I have not heard any candidate mention this.

I'm 19 and I need cheap health insurance?

Okay, I'm 19 years old and I use to have some kind of plan with my mothers insurance but it was the kind where once I turn 18 I can no longer be on it. I really want to get insurance, but I don't know where to start. (I work only part time and can't get a full time job right now) I don't know what insurance companies are best for me or anything. I would greatly appreciate any help. Also, if I got insurance and then later found out I was pregnant what would happen? Would they cover that as well? Is there any insurance policy that covers pregnancy... if not, what could I do?""

Why does Infinity car insurance suck?

everytime i called them for help they always sounds like they are mad and rude at the same time, and they don't even care about helping me out just by the sounds of their voice!!! my question is what a good car insurance out there???""

What is the best way to go about auto insurance for an 18 year old purchasing a Mustang GT?

Hey, I have a job @ walmart and i make pretty decent money & next thursday when i get paid im going to e-z way auto sales which is a pay here buy here car lot for no credit car buyers to go to establish car history credit & the car that caught my eye was a black on black on black 2004 Ford Mustang GT, I have to have it and the payments wouldn't be that much, something I could afford. What about the insurance? What's the cheapest for my age? I just turned 18 last month & i don't wanna pay more than $200 for car insurance, that'll be more than my car payment. HELP ME OUT!""

Life insurance licensing?

Has anybody ever taken a test to get your license for life insurance, health and annuities?  I'm about to take a test and was wondering if there were any good websites available or even any tests.  Any advice would be great!

Do you have to have car insurance just because you have a drivers license?

My mom is bent on the idea that just because I have a drivers license I have to have car insurance as well. I go away for college and I dont drive all year long. We have a family car that I drive once or twice over the summer but other than that I don't get behind the wheel of a vehicle. I don't have any problem with just not driving at all. Am I really legally obligated to have car insurance even though I do not drive? Will it somehow make me less likely to get insured in the future if I remove myself from her insurance package now?

What is the cheapest car insurance for someone with a foreign driving lisence?

What is the cheapest car insurance for someone with a foreign driving lisence?

""What exact is whole life insurance, and how do life insurance companies profit from selling it?""

Agents are always extremely keen about selling my family whole life insurance instead of term. According to the agents, whole life is preferable to term since it does not expire and as a result the beneficiary is guaranteed some payment upon the death of the insured. However, why would the insurance company profit from such a setup if they are bound to pay back an amount that is at least equal to the total amount paid? I have tried to do some research on my own, but I still can't seem to fully understand this matter. Any help will be greatly appreciated!""

My age is 28 nd m a govt employee which is the best insurance plan for me which provide me best benifits..?

My age is 28 nd m a govt employee which is the best insurance plan for me which provide me best benifits..?

Is it shameful to let your son/daughter go without health insurance?

When I turned 21, I got taken off my parents' health insurance. I did not have a job at the time, and could not afford to buy insurance on my own, so I was forced to go without it. Well, I became very sick and was hospitalized for 4 days with food poisoning. The hospital bills total around $50,000, and I was denied Medicaid because I was paying $1400 a month in rent (money I accumulated through prostitution, if you want the truth), and the hospital's social worker felt if I could afford $1400/month in rent, I could afford the hospital bills. Friends of mine at the time were really hard on my parents, especially my mom, saying what kind of a lousy mother would let her son go without health insurance? No editorial comment from me. I'm just curious what other people think. Do I have lousy parents because they let me go without health insurance?""

Who's a good health insurance provider?

I was looking to get some health insurance soon outside of my job. What insurance company has something affordable for someone like me? 24 year old male no health problems non smoker.

How can I get a better auto insurance settlement?

I was involved in a collision recently. The other partys insurance company (met life) agreed that it was their clients fault. However, the other party had a witness saying I was speeding which I knew I was not. The claim adjuster from met life told me that there maybe a high possibility that theyll only give me 80% of the repair cost once it is proven that the witness doesnt know the other driver. If thats the case, is there a way to get a higher %? Or Ill need to fill a lawsuit against the other driver? PS: I do not have full insurance coverage, thats why Im dealing with Met life myself. I have not gone to get an estimate on repair cost yet, but will do tomorrow.""

Getting car insurance please help ?

I live in MN And in a small town. And I dont want to ask for car insurance yet. Im just asking and estimate for me One male 18 2 tickets 99 s10 blazer 4 doors 4 wheel drive And if full coverage Would 750 for year be right ? Would that be enough

""Can you get cheaper insurance, if you are driving on behalf of a disabled family member?

i am currently 19 and just passed my test - my friends of same age - pay 500-700 a year on car insurance and they say they get cheaper because they are acting as carer driver (e.g of grandfather or disabled brother)- basically you say to insurance companies that i am caring for them and need me - my dad just had a eye operation - just got blue badge and had heart attack 3 times - and yeh he gets mobility allowance - (because he had some other problems - not surely no what) - do you think i can use him to act a carer of him - he is driving at the moment so do you think he needs to give up driving is this possble or they mis-understood

Where can I find affordable comprehensive dental insurance?

I don't just the preventative ones but ones that also cover root canals etc to an extent and don't over charge for nitrous oxide - one company had fee of 45 per 15 minutes ? I ruled them out Any ideas or tips greatly appreciated

""What company in ON, Canada will insure my 1976 corvette?, im only 17?""

What company in ON, Canada will insure my 1976 corvette?, im only 17?""

Need affordable home owners insurance in Massachusetts?

We are relocating to Massachusetts and are buying a home there. I have to get a home owners insurance quote for the lender and tried going through my current provider that I have multiple vehicles with hoping to get a discount for bundling the house into it. (I have Geico) They told me they will not insure our house because we own horses. Does anyone know a good company not too expensive that will insure a home with horses in Massachusetts?

""Got in a car accident driving someones elses car, they had no insurance.?""

got in a car accident driving someones elses car, they had no insurance.im 26 ive never been in any trouble and have a clean driving record. i was terrified and i left the scene and got cought, whats going to happen at court?""

I don't have car insurance but i have a license?

I'm confused, i dont have my own car but i drive my mothers car and THAT car has insurance. I dont get it, if i drive it do i need insurance under my name or is it good enough if the car has insurance under her name? I hope i havent been driivng illegally all along....""

What type of car is cheapest to insure?

I am 16 and looking to buy a car under 10k. I want an SUV but what I hear they are a lot more to insure than a sedan? is there a big difference in insurance price when it comes to Suvs, sedans, and sports cars? For example here are three types of cars one a suv, one sporty, and one sedan. Which will be cheapest? Ford Expedition Mazda RX8 Chevy Malibu""

First time insurance for a 17 year old lad?

The cost of insurance is so high even if i added him to my current policy. so then i am wondering about putting him third party on his own insurance.. what are the main pro's and cons' of this... his car is worth about 850 and his excess would between 650-750 anyway, thanks in advance for your help :-)""

Does my Company car insurance cover me to drive other insured cars 3rd Party?

im insured fully comp to drive my company car, so because i am fully comp does this mean that i am insured to drive 3rd Party any other car that is also insured Fully Comp?(not in the company)""

Cheapest tow truck insurance?

progressive quoted me around 600 a month, are there any other companies that would be cheaper? i tried travelers, allstate, state farm, geico, ETC. most don't cover tow trucks. it doesn't have to be a name brand company. any suggestions?""

How up to date is DMV information used by Car Insurance?

Hi, California DMV screwed up my driver's record causing my car insurance premium to go up. Now DMV says the problem is corrected, but agent (Farmers) says their direct access to DMV record says it's not corrected. How up-to-date is the information they're accessing? Are they really accessing DMV or some 3rd party supplier like ChoicePoint? Thanks""

We are looking for cheeeep insurance?

What is the cheapest insurance available out there?

How much would car insurance cost?

im 18 going to be 19 the car i was looking at cost 29,155$ so since im young how much do you think the insurance would cost?""

I got my 1998 hyandai elantra tataled how much should i get from the insurance company?

it has 119000 miles on it but is still in good condition and has no recorded crashes or anything on it well until now that is. and the totaling was not my fault

A first car for a 16?

i am wanting a 97' Toyota Camry with 150,000 miles on it. It is $4,300 is this a good first car? And how much does insurance on it cost? I also like saturn l200 are they good cars?""

Health Insurance Premiums?

Does any single person pay their own health insurance premiums - what company and how much do you pay ? Does it include doctor visits and hospital stay ?

Contents Insurance. Average Price Roughly??

Not fantastic area, sharing a house. I have usual 20 something stuff (TV, Games Console, Laptop, DVD Player) Rough Price, THANKYOU""

Life insurance licensing?

Has anybody ever taken a test to get your license for life insurance, health and annuities?  I'm about to take a test and was wondering if there were any good websites available or even any tests.  Any advice would be great!

What would be insurance on this car?

I want to get this car http://autos.yahoo.com/used-cars/porsche-boxster-cars9383421;_ylt=AuxeS5bbXvapuk4oZXlD95JbVI54;_ylv=3?sortcol=absoluterank&sortdir=down&listingtype=used&model=&make=porsche&distance=any The price is great, but how mh would te insurance be? For a 16 year old""

How much would the insurance be on a 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle SS for an 18 year old?

I need to know how much it would be for both the 454 and 396 model. *And my driving record is clean.

Best Job description for a full time eBay seller? (For car insurance quote)?

I'm about to renew my car insurance but need to find the most appropriate and accurate job description for my trade. I am self employed as a soul trader (UK) and my main income is achieved through making small hand crafted items (mostly material based) and sell them on eBay. So far I've been using the job description of 'artist' In the 'manufacturing' industry, but I was wondering if there was a more accurate one on the standardised job description list?""

What is a health insurance cartel?

What is a health insurance cartel? I'm on about the US health insurance.

Lying on car insurance...?

what are/or could be any consequences of me lying about my car insurance renewal when i do 26,000miles per year and if i put that i only did 10,000miles my insurance would be alot cheaper it would go from 240p/m to 180p/m!?!?!?!?!? how would the insurers know how many miles i did per year?""

Car insurance for students UK?

My son is on my car insurance as a named driver. He's 19 and held a clean licence for 2 years. However, he's off to university in September and will only use my car when home...probably only for the odd day here and there. Is there any insurance company who will add him as a named driver for a few days each time he comes home thus enabling me to go back to my usual extremely low payment? I'm a 50 something driver with a totally clean licence and max no-claims.""

How much will my insurance go up after an accident?

Ballpark estimate. My rates right now are about 2000 a year... I just totaled a car. My fault, speeding wasn't a factor... just bad luck/inexperience. I'm 18 and have no prior accidents or points on my liscence.""

I applied for Car Insurance and...?

They asked me if there any other drivers in the house. I told them my parents and my older sister have insurance.. I am 24 and they said thanks for telling us? The question is does that mean they can once in a while borrow my car and they are covered?

Transfering Auto/Insurance Title/Policy?

Short story - I did not qualify for vehicle finance - girlfriend finances the vehicle for me. We have 5 day to furnish insurance. How i do go about getting the truck in my name and furnishing insurance on it? I do not have the registration or title (coming in mail). I cant open an insurance policy on a car thats not mine. And if she opens an insurance policy on the car she would have to add me to it (but she's not going to drive it which makes for a waste of money?) Thanks for any help

What can happen if you don't list all of your tickets on an online insurance quote and buy the policy?

For instance I have a spectator to racing ticket when a friend of mine attempted to outspeed a car that sped by him on the highway, he got pulled over and charged with street racing, and I received a citation for being a passenger in the car. (ridiculous I know) Now since I was not the driver, nor was my vehicle involved, should I still have to list this when filling out an online insurance quote? and if I don't what can happen if they find out later? Will they raise my rates immediately? Drop my policy? Or is there anything more serious they can do than that?""

How will a speeding ticket going 9 over affect me personally and insurance wise?

Hi, i just got my first speeding ticket going 9 over 40, the cop said usually it would not effect my insurance but if not how will it affect me? If i pay the ticket and not call my insurance will that be that and it will be over? Please help""

Car insurance question?

how much is insurance for a 17 year old with say a used 90s honda?

How does car insurance work? do u have to pay for it monthly?

i'm buying my first car and am confused as to how car insurance works. i know its better to have insurance before driving your car off the lot but how does insurance work? do you pay insurance monthly liek you do for a car note?

Car Insurance Rates?

I am a 19 year old college student in VA. Currently my parents pay for my car insurance and cell phone bill. I would like to pay these on my own and was wondering what I could expect to pay for my insurance. I know that rates are highest for young single males, but I have had my license for 2 years, and I haven't had one speeding ticket or citation or anything. I haven't even been pulled over. So my record is good. Also, I have been in no accidents. So, what could I expect to pay? Thanks!""

My new employer wants to add me to their auto insurance i have 30 years driving experience?

But I have not been insured for 10 years.will their insurance rates go up?

""My family makes 80,000 but can't afford health insurance. I have loans and all, what do I do?""

We are currently living in Pleasanton CA because I want my daughter to go to a good public school (cant afford private schools)We have no family here in California, its just the two of us with our 5 year old daughter.(my husband is an only child, both of his parents died) It is very expensive to live in Pleasanton, but we rather live someplace nice where the school system is good and we are also interracial couple. We have credit card loans,(25,000) and my husband has a student loan. My daughter is on a Kaiser individual plan which is 300 a month. We have a car payment of 312 a month and still have 6000 left to pay off. We have a low interest rate on the car loan like 4%. We tried consolidating our loans but it did not work. Now my job offers health insurance, but it is very costly, 280 a month which I can't afford, and we are not qualified for the covered California. Please anyone has any advise we would love to hear some feedback.""

""If i make motor claim in the past, do i need to mention it when buying a new insurance?""

Hi, my car insurance is expiring soon, so i've started looking for quotes and i realised when i mention the fact that i have made a claim in the last 5 years,,,the premium gets higher. If i dnt mention it, its much cheaper. Is it neccessary to mention it? what happens if i don't mention it?""

Are there any affordable insurance companies that cover preexisting conditions?

Is regular insurance better than repricing when you ned to have surgery and the condition is considered preexisting?

Getting insurance under my name?

In NJ, it states that you need proof of insurance to transfer a title. How can i get proof of insurance if I don't have the title under my name? Can I get insurance before tranferring the title, or can i get insurance without transferring the title? Title is transferring from my dad to me.""

Car insurance?private car park?

In 2009 June/.July l was in a private car park and reversed into a car very little damage to either of our cars, however he wanted to not involve insurance as he had company car so exchanged details In addition, he was going to telephone me to say how much. I heard nothing until September 2009 when l received a call from his insurance company asking for my insurance details so l gave them the information. June 2010 my insurance ended and have changed companies now l find my old insurance company chasing me for details of this accident which happen 10/12 months ago. What should l do please?""

""What are the requirements for getting a license and driving in Tennessee, age,insurance,cost,et cetra.?""

What are the requirements for getting a license and driving in Tennessee, age,insurance,cost,et cetra.?""

Does car insurance need to match the titled owner of the vehicle?

I am borrowing a spare car from my mother for about six months. Do I need to go through the process of transferring the title to my name, or can I just put insurance on it under my own policy and be okay legally? BTW, I live in Texas.""

Cheapest Auto Insurance??

I am presently using Allstate for my 3 cars... an Acura (let me rephrase that..2 cars the Acura was totalled in Sundays car accident) The Infinity and the Nissan..the rates are about $ 3000 for 6 months for all 3 cars..now 2) full coverage all inclusive insurance.. Are there cheaper companies out there ??? Who do you use? I live in N.Y.. Allstate has really always been there for me I just got a nice check from them for my daughters car...Do you think i could get a cheaper company???

Good 2 go auto insurance?

Who has this insurance? Whats ur take on it and whats the cheapest price do they offer?

Does it cost to remove someone on your insurance ?

I wanted to drop my sister off my insurance plan because she found a cheaper insurance company, does it cost to remove her ?""

Life insurance licensing?

Has anybody ever taken a test to get your license for life insurance, health and annuities?  I'm about to take a test and was wondering if there were any good websites available or even any tests.  Any advice would be great!

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