#and she can’t just drop stuff
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i just. wanna talk to my best friend.
#but she’s been busy with college and diwali parties and friends and we live in diff countries and timezones#and she can’t just drop stuff#so i get it#but im feeling very unfair rn so i want her to unfairly prioritize me lmfao#arshia talks
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contrary to what you may think “I Won’t Say I’m In Love” from Hercules is not the Disney love song for prinxiety. the titular track from Beauty and the Beast is. not only because the lyrics hit:
“barely even friends/then somebody bends/unexpectedly/just a little change/small to say the least/both a little scared/neither one prepared”
“bittersweet and strange/finding you can change/learning you were wrong”
but also because Virgil is initially perceived by the other sides as a villain, as monstrous, and his arc is all about acceptance both from them and from himself, learning both to love and to be loved. Just like Adam/Beast. and because Roman is Belle coded—head in the clouds and obsessed with stories, craving adventure and desperately looking for something more than this provincial life. you get it.
#sanders sides#roman sanders#virgil sanders#prinxiety#also Roman literally wears the beauty and the beast onesie (I know it’s the beast and I said he’s Belle coded but that’s not the point)#also the red rose motif#and the gothic vibes!!!!! Listen to me!!!! The beast’s castle is super gothic and Roman and Virgil both have connections to the gothic#Roman is literally named for the romantic era which has HUGE overlap with the gothic#see also: the Brontë sisters Percy Shelley Byron etc#and then Virgil’s patchwork look while Tim Burton inspired is also gothic bc where do you think Burton got it???#Frankenstein! plus his name and the poet and stuff. the connection is strong and purposeful.#so yeah they are soooo BATB coded#“here’s where she meets Prince Charming. but she won’t discover that it’s him till chapter three!”#anyways new hill I’m gonna die on just dropped#don’t get me started on Something There for them#“But he was mean and coarse and unrefined! and now he’s dear and so unsure! I wonder why I didn’t see it there before”#“no it can’t be. I’ll just ignore. but then she’s never looked at me that way before.”#like come on
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Monday blues are hitting me hard today
#you can ignore this if you want cause im gonna talk a lot of shit and sads and feelings#but as i’ve realised i literally have no one to empty my heart out to irl#and it’s fucking heartbreaking cause i love my friends but I don’t think they love me back#which is an insane though but I genuinely think it’s true like#i moved away 4 ish months ago and i know that communication comes from both side but like i wanted to test smt#so i stopped texting first and guess what?? only 2 friends texted me#1 because she’s genuinely a good friend i think and the other because she needed money (which i gave her like a fucking fool)#my heart just hurts cause i realised i’m not as important to them as they are to me and I’m completely misreading our relationship and#it sucks because I thought they were going to be my friends for life but now they’re all posting recaps of 2023 and im in none of their pics#even in pics where i was present at the time#and i dont know if it’s intentional or if im just being an insecure little bitch but it fucking hurts#i just want to be important to someone#i want to be someone’s person#not a last resort like#they keep doing stuff together which i get like life moves on and i’m the one that left#but not a single text or a pic or a ‘we miss you!’#not even a fucking heart on insta stories#am i being desperate?? or do I actually have shitty friends#like i have impostor syndrome in my own fucking friendgroup???#I can’t just drop them either cause then I’ll actually have no one#idk i must exude some sort of energy#i dont think ive ever had a genuine good best friend like for some reason they leave after 3 years#(and this is why i have trust issues and attachment disorders)#anyway I’ll probably just suck it up and go about my day#ive lived 24 years like this what’s an entire life#it’s wild cause i have a good time whenever i’m with them (i think) and then i leave and it’s crickets#i feel like hired entertainment sometimes#idk my head hurts so I’m probably overthinking but like these feelings come from somewhere right?#i have to stop
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thank god chappell roan didn’t release good luck babe in summer 22!
#i unfortunately had a homoerotic female friendship that ended abruptly and tragically#she was my best friend for YEARS like we met when we were 11#i knew i was queer pretty early on but it’s so painfully obvious in hindsight how badly she was repressing everything#we fell asleep together she liked every guy i liked she was invested in every female situationship i had#like it was so painfully obvious what we were but we were just an undefined weird tension homoerotic pair of besties!#she always wanted to know every detail of my sex life w women refused to hear about the men i was w#she would hold me when we watched movies she wanted to do everything w me and she hated me after we graduated hs!#last conversation was on her birthday haven’t spoken to her once since#this song has sent me into a 3 day spiral session if you can’t tell 😭#never fully gotten over her but i see her post w her new friends at her school 6 hours away like cool cool okay#you’re going to ignore i ever existed instead of confronting your feelings okay! don’t know why she wants nothing to do w me anymore tho#crazy stuff it’s been a year and a half since we stopped being friends but i think about her a lot and i wonder if she thinks about me#i have 2 playlists about her she still follows me on spotify but she didn’t even wish me a happy birthday#at the end of the day i hope she figures everything out. you’re nothing more than his wife and all that#this song THIS SONG SHE WONT LEAVE MY MIND#probably delete later. we’ll see cause all my friends are sick of hearing me talk about her but i can’t stop she’s been in my mind since#this song dropped so thanks chappell 🥹🥹🫡
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qaughhhhxhdhbebrrh
#everything is bad rn.#just had to get out of car after road trip (i’m sitting in the back) which is always bad#bad*#there’s a huge sleeping bag that was next to me which had the worst fucking texture ever#and my mum was constantly brushing against i with her clothes which also have a bad texture and together they made the worst fucking sound#there’s a kid in front of me who has been annoying me all day#and she always drags her fingers along the roof of the car and the seats and the sleeping bag and i can’t stand it#anyway just as i was about to go out#i dropped my phone and o couldn’t get it out again it was stuck in the trunk of the car#so i had to get out without my phone which is fine i don’t need to use my phone all the time but i like to hold it#it makes me feel more comfortable holding like. idk that shape and weight and stuff IDK it’s weird#but yeah i had to wait until the bags all got unloaded to get my phone back but before i got it back i went to the bathroom#which i couldn’t find so my dad asked the staff of the hotel where one was but he called me his mf daughter#😁👍#then i went to the bathroom#cried#my mum came into the bathroom and i hate it when she does this and i knew she was going to and she did#she called out my deadname in the public bathroom and told#me she had my phone#and i was so fucking stressed o did not want to talk i still do not want to talk#so i was just like ok#and she was like Ok???? like i had killed her fucking parents or something#so i had to be like thank you while i was having a meltdown#cleaned myself up and now i’m in the room and it’s hot and i don’t like it but whatever#shut up mars#:(
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since i started star wars at like 14, i didn’t really get the full political implications or just the innate tragedy of it. it’s not supposed to be a happy story but there’s supposed to be hope. i always thought anakin wasn’t to blame going to the dark like maybe if he had a different master or wasn’t groomed by palpatine but in reality he was a grown ass man with full jedi training that chose to get married (“in secret” bc i swear everyone knew they was fuckin, they just didn’t want to banish him bc they saw him as the chosen one) and chose to kill younglings and massacre an entire people and kill another jedi and turn to the dark side. even if he had really strong emotions and felt things on an insanely intense level bc of midichlorians or whatever he still had full fledged jedi training to be able to control that and yeah the jedi temple was so corrupt in the way they were just cops with telekinetic abilities and fake buddhists but like HES GROWN. no matter what he experienced it was his choice. he was weak and he chose the dark side. so he is not babygirl. he’s hot. but he’s not baby girl. it was over even before he force choked padme cause he killed them kids he said no more jedi too bad so sad.
i never understood padme’s death tho it was kind of a plot hole to me just she just lost the will to live and just died after giving birth like what????even if she is force sensitive (ALLEGEDLY) that’s still crazy. i think it was soley for the anakin-vader plot so that he wouldn’t think of his actions or to maybe (idk if this was on purpose) justify his actions bc he had nothing left.
also sorry if u haven’t watched star wars yet…i recommend release order and clone wars and rebels animated series. forget about the mandalorian and the “ahsoka” show it literally doesn’t matter.
#ik there’s gonna be a new jedi order and theryre coming out with a new trilogy but sw is turning into marvel in the way u need to watch#all their stupid ass series to watch a bitchass movie or one show. if u content can’t stand alone it fucking sucks#also i hate when ppl quote yoda just bc he’s old doesn’t mean he’s not stupid#also i think the jedi values kinda ‘dehumanized’ jedis like leaving their families no attachments like what are y’all fighting for ur just#glorified cops. i think especially when u see the poverty in corusant which is supposed to be the planet for the AMAZING republic..some#peopl have never seen the sky…do something bout that. QUICKLY#i do think that disney star wars beyond liek the animated series is terrible. like they don’t know how to write. they just bring back old#problems and it’s the same tropes and maybe even the same characters#also rosario dawson allegedly attacked a queer person in public but the case was only dropped bc it was the pandemic and the person didn’t#have monies. like that doesn’t mean she’s innocent. sick sick people work for disney. sick sick people.#i hate the mandalorian so much. jon favero and dave filoni will pay.#imma pretend like some stuff just doesn’t exist. fun djarin who?? the mandalorian liek jango fett? oh sabine wren like in the animated show!#i rant abt sw bc i love it sm but i hate it. it was also created by a white american man so like…and more white american men make it worse..
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I feel like such a bitch for saying this but like getting gifts from my mother is always so awkward and I feel like a spoiled brat saying this but she just doesn’t know me that well or listen to me when I say super clear things so she always ends up getting gifts that are really expensive that I don’t like and idk how to tell her that because I can’t correct her for doing something nice but also… please talk to me before spending your money because this $75 Taylor swift hoodie is so ugly and I’ll never wear it and I’m so easy to shop for because I’m very clear and predictable
#like this has happened multiple times now#where Taylor swift will drop New merch#and my mom will say ‘PLEASE let me get something for you’#so I’ll send her a picture of the exact thing I like with the link#and then she will buy something else#like I really loved the reputation hoodie and she said ‘let me get it for you <3’ and I was like#you don’t have to really I’ll just buy it it’s so expensive#and then she ended up saying she’d think I like this blue one better like 😀#I’m so greatful you got me something but also#I didn’t buy the hoodie bc you said you were going to#and now I’m never going to wear this one#and I feel like a bitch because this isn’t a real complaint#but oh my god I just feel terrible she’s spending her money on stuff I don’t like#when I’m very clear about the things I do like#and I can’t even be mad bc she’s buying ME a gift
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Batfam YouTube AU except it’s not the batfam it’s just Duke:
I actually don’t think he’d have multiple channels, I think he’d have every single kind of his vids on one big one with a bunch of playlists u can pick and choose from. His vids are mainly 3 things: book/film critiques, Parkour vids, and hate to say it but a messy ass tea page.
The parkour vids are mainly taken in Gotham but if Brucie Wayne is traveling and Duke goes along, he’ll make some wherever they are too. He has subsections of parkour vids and his faves are the “trying to beat my fastest time at X” and “is this possible?” Which is him recreating famous parkour scenes from movies or tv shows. Sometimes he posts vids where he shows the best ways to get away from the rogues in a pinch and call for help depending on where you are.
The book/film critiques are everyone’s favorite tbh. The thing about him is that he’s kinda mean. He doesn’t care about hurting the creators feelings because, as he puts it, “if you didn’t wanna get your feelings hurt you should’ve produced something better.” He’s so pretentious and snobby and it’s honestly the worst side of him coming out but he’s so right that nobody can really correct or call him out without sounding whiny because he doesn’t target anything personal, he’s simply critiquing the content.
The tea page….he could give Vicki Vale a run for her money. Duke’s tea page has honestly been doing more for protecting secret identities than anything any heroes done since heroism became a thing. Because when it comes to Duke’s channel, NOBODY is safe. He goes after heroes, villains, and civilian alike. It’s never anything doxxing or dangerous or whatever but he DID notice the rumors about Batman being Bruce Wayne’s sugar baby and he’d love to discuss the proof for and against it. Theories about whether the Girl Robin is real or if they just made her up, does Lex Luthor wanna fuck Superman, are Batman and Catwoman EVER gonna tie the knot? At one point the channel gets banned because of some shady shit (more ppl were tuning into it than to the Gotham Gazette) and Brucie Wayne was so offended that he had half a mind to buy YouTube and delete everything. Duke had a new vid up the next day talking all about it 🚶🏾♂️
#the family makes various cameos throughout every kind of vid#but who frequents what the most:#dick is mainly on the parkour and tea stuff but MAINLY the parkour#they compete with flips which Duke always says is rigged but never turns it down smh#Jason is mainly on the book critique ones and he and Duke have gotten into full blow fights Abt interpretations b4#they go on live sometimes and it’s insane to watch#Cass is mainly on the parkour channel and sometimes she’ll watch a movie with Duke and call him a sourpuss for the critiques#Babs is most DEFINITELY on the tea page#Steph is on the Tea and Parkour page but she mainly convinced Duke to add a GRWM section#she and cass are there the most#Tim is mainly on the tea page and he convinces Duke to do some parkour on wheels#Damian is everywhere#like you can’t watch 5 consecutive vids on any playlist without Damian there and that’s so real tbh#but he’s not IN the vid#it’s cameos of him in the back or talking to Duke#there’s compilations like Duke and Damian being eachothers favorite for 1 hour#and it’s just Damian popping into the vids or Duke dropping everything on live to help him with Titus or smth#one time Duke was on live and Dick walked in in full NW attire#they did a whole bit about NW sneaking in to challenge Duke to a parkour race#they made it a charity live#batfamily#duke thomas#batfamily headcanons#YouTube au#spreading Duke&Damian agenda#and dick too ig#funniest trio Alive idc
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Miles: im not … a boy.. but i’m not fully a girl either
Rio: yeah me neither :) it’s fine honey
Miles, about to pass out:
#rio dropping bombshells on Miles and then going about her day#like Miles isn’t receiving the most mind blowing news ever (and good news)#miles morales#spiderman#spider man#rio morales#idk it’s just that like. i feel like she doesn’t think too much of it and is just like well i’m a mother but i’m also just a person+#like. okay ppl may not get it but it’s like how some black trans people still identify with being a black woman before anything else??#rio’s like that so she’s connected to womanhood through being miles’s mother and a black woman but she also doesn’t feel connected to+#gender any other time and is fine with being addressed with she/her stuff and dressing feminine#it’s a lot i can’t really explain well sorry
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It’s 11pm but does anyone have any life advice for what to do when your abusive/neglectful parents are trying to force you into getting a job at their office just because they make a ton of money and don’t want the business to go into the hands of your older brother but you don’t personally care and literally just turned 18 and haven’t even started college yet
because
man what the fuck am I even supposed to do?
they’re trying to send me there tomorrow to learn about how the office works and everything and I GET IT it’s USEFUL but I don’t… want to do that. Especially with my family.
#I don’t normally vent on here but I seriously need some advice#I want to prove to my parents that I CAN make a living for myself but they won’t even give me a debit card so I can’t start my redbubble ye#I’m literally writing a novel!!! It’s pretty good!!! AND THEY DON’T FUCKING CARE!!!#Ughhhh sorry just. Man I hate my family#Except my brother he’s fine#The one who’s on Tumblr#My mom keeps telling us that she and dad could drop dead any day so we need to be ready to take over the business#Which. Ma’am. you call ME a pessimist and then just say shit like that???#Just realised my bestie is on tumblr now and might see this post… um. Hi Espurr if you’re reading this don’t worry 👍#I’m feeling very vaguely suicidal but not enough to do anything about it it’s okay I won’t um… try the stuff I’ve tried again#Tw abuse#tw suicide#tw neglect#DragonairIce Rambles
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#dear diary type shiz coming up#my mom’s flight leaves soon#dropped her off at the airport a couple hours ago#when we left i saw my ex fiancé and her friend from the building next door#been wandering around a park near my appartment#playing pokémon go#i almost dread going back to appartment#feels empty even tho i have fish and my cat Addy#at least most of my pokémon are healed now#she visited for roughly 3 weeks to help me with everything#decided best not to move until next year or so#a studio is nearly as much as my current appartment#plus one less thing to worry about for now#too late to try calling psychiatrists today#so far i just have one appointment for late next month#gotta unpack somethings and pack others#she has most of her stuff moved out#keep finding little things here and there ofc#kinda tempted to smoke tho it’s been over 3 weeks#last couple of times it just made me feel worse#but my meds def can’t handle my emotional mess
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everyone always wants to talk about jenny nicholsons video essays and i’m like does ANYONE want to talk about the art of the mattress aka the sleep song. bc it plays in my head every time i see anything about her.
#sleep sleep sleep time to go to sleep now… it is night and i need to sleep while it is dark….#also of course it’ll be okay from the wedding episode <3#anyway she blocks me on twitter also. not as scandalous as it seems i just made a vague tweet abt friendship is witchcraft#and presumably got auto blocked#i wasn’t even calling her out either i think i was just like. reflecting on how the song from it was trending on tiktok#it’s an understandable reason to block people just. not wanting to engage with that part of her history i get that#this was also before her briny video so she hadn’t spoken on it in a long time#brony*#i genuinely like that video a LOT i think she is able to offer a really unique perspective on a lot of brony fandom culture#not just as a big name creator but as a long time fan of older mlp gens#and ofc what she had to say about the use of the g slur in fiw was like. i mean i believe her.#that she and the cocreator had no idea it was a slur and dropped that aspect when they realized it was.#like i didn’t know for a long time either. it’s not my place to be like ‘and that means it’s fine and not a problem’#and i don’t think it IS fine. but certainly everything she said about her intentions seems like. true and honest.#anyway brony stuff aside i hate her for the way she’s spoken about john boyega. no apologies for THAT huh!!!!#there are some things out there that ppl attribute to her that are fully fake/edited but#ppl will also say ‘oh she didn’t say anything bad about him that was fake’ no she very much did#but i’ve followed her on youtube since she was still actively making fiw like she had a bit with a pony oc that she did for a while#i remember the first star wars video when i was like oh she Is A Reylo#which on its own is like. ew but i’m still interested in her stuff#but you know. she crossed a line i think#and i do still find her stuff INTERESTING#and i am genuinely still fond of fiw though a lot of that is nostalgia#but like she has a lot of interesting stuff to say about mlp and obviously as a theme park fan she’s inescapable#and it pisses me off that she’s friends with other creators i DO like but also they know her as a person and i don’t#sorry this was gonna be a short post i just can’t talk about her a normal amount#i have to explain every thought i have about her#anyway i haven’t watched the star wars hotel vid but i probably will eventually#in like an incognito tab#r.txt
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I’ve got this really weird brand of claustrophobia that I’m not even sure is actual claustrophobia. Basically you can put me in any confined space, it’s fine, I’m okay, even if I have to scrunch up my stupidly long body to fit. But if there’s no air flow? I’ll panic and faint
#i drive people absolutely bananas because i can’t be in a car without cracking the window a little bit#my stepdad is always like ‘but the a/c!’ is not the saaaame#recycled air is not the same as fresh outdoor air and you KNOW IT robert#what prompted this was my grandma asked me why i was selling so much stuff (she knew about it because i dropped the packages off#at her house for safekeeping before i went to pilates because i was worried i’d abandon them at the church) and i said i was saving up#for a weighted blanket. and my granddad said ‘i thought you were claustrophobic’#yes but not that way#you can smoosh my body all you want. just don’t cover my face or make me feel like i can’t breathe#i have a fan on while i sleep partly for the noise and partly for the illusion of fresh air#you can cover everything up to and including my chin honestly. just not my nose and mouth#even if i Can breathe; if i don’t FEEL like i can breathe i’ll panic#it’s also why i don’t do well at the dentist. and why i can’t swim underwater#(i mean that one is genuinely because i can’t breathe underwater. but you get the picture)#personal#*i guess to be honest this Isn’t claustrophobia. it’s just that it’s more likely to strike me in a confined space#like a car or anything smaller#i’m actually fine on trains and planes weirdly enough. buses are on thin ice#i just haaate warm stuffy air oh my GOD. put a fan on me or i’m throwing up
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Alternatives to Squishmallow
So as many of you have probably already heard, Jazwares, the company that produces Squishmallows, is donating to charities that support Israeli soldiers and the IDF. They’re also supporting Canary Mission, which has been doxxing people who speak out against Israel. BDS hasn’t called for a boycott against them, but I can’t in good faith spend my money on their products, and I would strongly encourage everyone who enjoys plushies to really think long and hard about if you want to give your money to a company that’s helping support genocide!
But the holidays are coming up, and lots of us enjoy plushies and were fans of Squishmallow, and were planning to give Squishmallows to friends and family this year.
Fortunately, there are a number of great plushie companies out there, and I want to promote some of my favorites in the hopes that folks will get their plushie fix from a source that doesn’t side with Israel. So without further ado:
Fluffnest
Fluffnest got their start on Kickstarter a few years ago, and I adore the round shapes of their PuffPal plushies! My favorite is Pete the Possum, which is probably the best possum plush I’ve ever seen. I’ve also got a beautiful moth from their Kickstarter and I’ve been wanting their bats for ages. They also recently had a Kickstarter for an Animal Crossing-esque video game featuring their plushie characters and it looks fantastic.
Squishables
I can’t get over the plague doctor plushies. They’re so perfect and cute, and they’ve released other variations of them called Alter Egos, like a ghostly version, an alien, or a really sweet cottagecore one! They’ve got a ton of variety, but what I like the most are the fantasy plushies. There’s a lich! There are dragons and demons! Cryptids! Biblically accurate angels! A lot of really fun stuff!
Also they do a lot of great charity work! Right now they’re doing an auction for the Food Bank of New York City.
AfternoonFika
AfternoonFika is a very small business of only three people, but their plushies are extremely cute. They tend to sell out fast, so I recommend following them on social media to stay on top of any restocks! They recently released a line of dinosaurs that are precious, and of course I love their iconic cactus cat and cinnamon bun bunny.
Jellycat
Jellycat has been around since 1999, so they’re the oldest of these companies. They’ve got great designs, a ton of variety, and a lot of their plushies are made to be cuddled on and not just displayed. All three of my tiny nephews sleep with a different stuffed dog from Jellycat. My mom has a sun and several succulents that she uses as decorations. There’s a little something for everyone who enjoys plushies!
If you have any other favorite companies I haven’t mentioned, feel free to add on! I’ve enjoyed Squishmallows for a while now and I’m sad to see their leadership coming out on the side that’s committing war crimes on a daily basis, but this is a good time to discover new favorite plushie companies! And remember, money speaks loudly. Even if BDS hasn’t called for a boycott of Jazwares, it sends a message when sales start dropping for companies that support genocide. It’s a small thing, but the little things we do can add up!
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The latest iOS update has made it so that *none* of my friends or coworkers with iPhones on the latest software can reply to my text messages I send from Android…. I’m literally having to use *email* for back-and-forth messages to talk to my boss about resuming my work hours when I get home from school, because she cannot reply to my texts -when just two months ago, we could text each other just fine. It’s ridiculous.
*This* is why I don’t like Apple and why I *don’t* want an iPhone… combined with the fact that my three-year-old Motorola phone runs like it’s brand new, has probably been dropped a hundred times, doesn’t have a single scratch on it despite how often it gets dropped, and cost less than half the price of an iPhone.
#rant#Insanitypost#stuff that makes me HEATED#this is so inconvenient for everyone#and no I can’t just call my boss -she could literally be doing a dental on a dog and can’t just drop everything and pick up
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#my gf texted me at like 12pm being like you should kidnap me and take me to Michael’s#bc her car is having issues and she can’t go anywhere#and her friend Jenna is off work this week but like#she texted me asking me to pick her up#even though it required some sneaking around to pick her up and drop her off#and I know it made her anxious doing it#but also like she asked me!! we hung out for a few hours and just#went places#and like#idk I want to take it as an extra good sign?#she gave me her pickles last week and we talked about sex stuff and like#she’s so open with me and wanting to get away for a weekend#and like I know we’re dating but I like seeing things as extra good signs especially bc she’s had a shifty week this week
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