#and she always treats it like a pain in the ass except for like 2 days before and after we go

[yolli-es]

I’m so sorry I loved your yandere jinx headcanons I was just wondering if we could get a alphabet yandere jinx since we both love it

Yandere!Jinx alphabet 💥

Tags: NO spoilers for season 2, mentions of death, mentions of blood, PROBABLY some points were misunderstood by me due to not knowing the language. LET ME KNOW IF I GOT IT WRONG!

Yandere!Jinx was liked by so many people :D

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Physical contact is number one on her list of "how to show people you're not disgusted by them." She certainly showers you with attention before the relationship begins, but you will notice a dramatic difference once it's official. Jinx tried to keep her boundaries and stay away from you for at least a couple of hours. But why would she do it now? You always hold hands, even when it's awkward and uncomfortable. Even if you're in the middle of a shootout right now, don't worry; she has a gun that she can use with one hand. 

Most of the time, Jinx's hands reach out to you unconsciously. She doesn't worry about it much. 

Another way Jinx speaks is by suddenly becoming talkative. She is usually not eager to tell anyone anything about herself, even if it's something insignificant like her favorite food or what she did that day. But with you, she can't shut up, she wants to tell you everything, preferably twice. You'll notice that at some point she'll stop talking right in the middle of her story, awkwardly looking down. After the question "What next?" she starts to beam and continue as if nothing happened. She likes it when you really listen. 

Over time, Jinx will become greedier about this, and if you tell her "no," she will get angry. 

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Not really much messy. Jinx definitely won't just watch someone try to beat the crap out of you, but she won't destroy anyone who looks at you the wrong way either. More often than not, it ends with just one shot to the shoulder or knee. That was, is, and always will be the most clear explanation of why you shouldn't be killed.

She won't let them repeat what they started if one warning wasn't enough.

However, sometimes the voices get loud, and in a fit of rage, Jinx can kill a couple of people. Insecurity and doubts overcome her at such moments, and she sees no better way than to simply remove the threat and competition. She won't be sorry, but it certainly won't be part of her plan or desire.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Find yourself a replacement for Jinx, say you're going to leave, and she will kidnap you. She will never let you go so easily; it will not happen. Jinx will console herself with the fact that you are simply naive and stupid, that the other person took advantage of this, and now she is simply saving you from an irreparable mistake. After all, in reality, you do not want to leave her, and no one except her is really interesting to you, isn't it?

But Jinx isn't stupid after all. She knows what she's doing, and you definitely won't be thrilled by that. Jinx will be patient. As much as Jinx can be, of course. Yell at her, call her names, and try to break free; she will endure all this. Until you say that you will leave her forever, like everyone else before you. Her emotional breakdowns won't take long to come. During this, Jinx may scream, get angry, and even swing at you. But she will never hurt you, even if you are a pain in her ass. Even if you try to fight her, she will patiently endure the blows, simply immobilizing you and not causing additional damage.

Jinx didn't want to resort to it, and she's really worried that she's only made things worse.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Jinx will definitely control your every move and will be aware of everything that happens in your life. She sees nothing wrong with forbidding you to walk alone, communicate with certain people, and do dangerous work.

At first you'll even like it, but later you'll understand how suffocating it is. She won't leave you alone even in the shower, won't let you communicate with your childhood friend, and won't let you do your favorite archery. What once seemed like concern to you turned out to be just the whims of her insecurity.

"All this is too dangerous; you know that I want the best for you, trinkly?" Jinx will say for the thousandth time with the most innocent eyes in consolation, knowing full well that your opinion about this is of no interest to her. You know this, but you still fall for it, unable to escape its trap.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Jinx tells you a lot, but not everything. She finds it hard to be vulnerable with you, even though she knows how warmly you embrace her flaws. Whenever she thinks about telling you about her past, Mylo shuts her down. Jinx can't help but think that her past makes her a weak Powder, and you only need a strong Jinx. And she can't be a disappointment for you, that's what Claggor said to her. 

Only once will she be able to tell you her real name.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Surprise, adrenaline, pride, affection and a strong desire to suppress it.

She appreciates your fighting spirit, but she can't ignore your attempts at resistance, no matter how much she wants to. After all, it could become a problem in the future, and Jinx genuinely doesn't want to confront you in a serious fight. No matter how strong you are and how seriously you attack Jinx, all your attempts will be a joke in her eyes. You will never compare to her sister in this.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

It depends on her mood, the weather, her plans for the day, and the noise level of the voices in her head that day. Jinx is very unpredictable, so one moment she's laughing and counting to ten, and the next she's threatening to amputate your legs. You know these are just threats, so Jinx has to chase you around the building until she catches you.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

That moment when you told her you didn't need her and wanted to leave for the first time. That was when she kidnapped you, and you so desperately wanted freedom.

Jinx had definitely gone crazy, and the echoes of your words still tormented you both. Unfortunately, you said it too confidently, viciously, and sensually. Jinx was silent for a couple of seconds, while her breathing stopped, her pupils became wider, and her face turned pale. After realizing how serious this was, Jinx jumped up from her seat and rushed towards you. But not with the purpose of hitting, but only to put your tied hands on her throat. She didn't even cry while she frustratedly told you to kill her since you didn't need her under your hysterical screams and requests to forget about it. She looked so apathetic, broken, and disappointed that you began to hate yourself for it. Why did you say that? Do you hate this fragile girl so much? You couldn't stop thinking about it while you tearfully begged Jinx to stop strangling herself with your hands.

You apologized more than a hundred times that day, and you will never forget this the scene. It is truly traumatic to watch your beloved girl strangling herself with your hands because of the cruelty of your own words.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Next to her, and the rest is completely unimportant. Jinx never thinks about the future, wanting to live in the present. It is difficult for her to follow the plan in Zaun, so she can only hope.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

She's jealous as hell, and there's no better way to deal with it than to blow something up. Someone, to be precise. She won't be able to do this and will simply shoot them. Jinx is very insecure and thinks that everyone around her is a better option than her. She is afraid that you will also realize this as you become more sociable, so Jinx does everything possible to prevent this.

Jinx herself doesn't realize how jealous she is. Just doesn't want to realize. She won't take responsibility for it, so denying the problem is the best way to survive it.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

If you're here, it means Jinx is nearby and everyone knows it. She'll be back in a few minutes and let everyone see Jinx obsessed, dependent, and loving again. She won't hesitate to hold your hand, body, or even your ass in front of everyone. She doesn't indulge in kissing often, but sometimes Jinx feels the need to do it, even if it's awkward for you while everyone is watching.

She can't stay too far away from you; it physically hurts her.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

What would seem romantic and loving in Zaun? Protection and shelter for free. That's what Jinx did first. It seemed most logical to her to do it in a way you understand and only then resort to the romance she knows. Without saying a word to you, Jinx will sort out your problems as deftly as she creates her weapons. Still, the years with Silko take their toll, and even the most fearsome thugs are just children to her. Don't think too much, and just enjoy caring from Jinx before she gets too much.

Then don't be surprised when you see burning buildings in Piltover with the words "love my trinkly <3" written on them.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Jinx with you and Jinx without you are completely different, strangers to each other.

People who have never dealt with Jinx and see her for the first time with you mistakenly think that she is just a petty idiot and everyone around is afraid of her for nothing. Never shows violence, uses small guns, and is just busy with you most of the time.

And then they meet the real Jinx. She still seems harmless, but her aura is suddenly completely different. You don't know what to expect. Laugh at her, but don't shout too loudly when she jokingly rips your arm off because you weren't paying attention to her instructions. "Oh, it's not fatal; don't whine like that. Shut up and listen," Jinx smiles tightly, making funny faces. She'll give him the shimmer, but not right away; maybe it'll teach him to take life-threatening situations right in front of them more seriously. Only then do they get it.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Not too cruel, something like "no dessert this time." Jinx doesn't see you as particularly dangerous or serious about escaping.

But what if she senses it? Jinx will lock you away somewhere for an indefinite period of time again. If you were close to escaping, be prepared for heavy security measures and possibly no chance of ever getting out. There are no windows, minimal furniture, and belongings; your hands and feet will always be chained to the wall. Don't make her do soft upholstery in the room; don't hit yourself the walls.

Jinx may punish you during sex, but it will be playful and for pleasure.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

It's easier to say that you will be allowed to do basic things like eating food, have a safe hobby, go outside, participate in safe deliveries, attend negotiations, and help Jinx in the workshop. Of course, all this together with Jinx and nothing more.

Remember, she does all this out of caring.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

As I said, as patient as Jinx can be. She forgives you a lot of things. A lot, but not everything.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

No. This will be the end for her.

One can only imagine what she will do. Kill herself? Go completely mad? Blow up all of Piltover? Start a war? Perhaps she will do all of these things in order. Jinx's psyche is cracking every day, and you were the only one who supported her. Someone who would always be there and who she could rely on in difficult times. She did everything she could just to know that you would feel all the love, care, and acceptance from Jinx. If you abandon her like everyone else after all this, then what is left for her to exist for? All the good will be destroyed by her own hands, and she will not be able to forgive for it.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

She let you go when you confessed your love to her, and your relationship became official. Of course, not right away and only after Jinx was convinced of it. Sometimes she even doubts her sensitivity to the emotions and real desires of other people.

She regrets that abducting you, but she'll do it again if she feels the need. Jinx just hopes it doesn't affect you too traumatically and that you understand why she's doing it.

For love and only for love.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Jinx has always had her own peculiarities, and after Vi and Silco left her, they only made the problems she already had worse. Insecurity, a sense of worthlessness, and weakness haunt her every day. She desperately needs to have support, someone she can trust and not be afraid of being abandoned again.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Shit. It's like her soul was turned inside out.

Jinx is very good at understanding people's emotions and their intentions. After spending a lot of time with you, Jinx can tell by just one look that something was wrong with you. And she immediately starts feeling the same way. No matter how good she feels, everything changes if you feel differently. So when you scream, cry, and are completely broken, Jinx feels the same way. It's hard for her to be supportive at that moment because grief has overwhelmed her too. But she still will be there, always. And no matter how shitty or super good you feel, Jinx will always share your feelings.

Only once did she manage to look at you blankly while you cried and screamed, pleading with her to forget your words.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

While other yandere act by the rule "you will be mine!", Jinx is more like "I beg you to be mine".

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

None. Sorry, but she is too smart and sensitive to understand your true intentions. All that remains is to hope for her mercy.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

No, no, and no again. Jinx wants you to stay, not break.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

You are the only one who looks good in her eyes in any state and the only one who attracts her sexually. She will definitely idolize you, although she may not tell about it.

Jinx will also do anything. Tell her to make you president, and she will. Don't be silly about it; Jinx will take your task seriously and will expect love and appreciation in return.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap? (This is the question that I couldn't understand, so the answer is short)

Not for long. Jinx is impatient, and her feelings weigh on her more than most people.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

No matter how carefully Jinx treats you, no matter how loving and patient she tries to be, you will still break. It is impossible to be sane when your entire world is filled with just one person. There will be too much Jinx and too little of the other world. You will also face a lot of manipulation just to stay with her, many of which will be traumatic.

And yet, you love Jinx. You did.

I spent 4 hours of my life on this, and I'm still not happy with the result. It could have been better, but I'm just tired of writing this, and it might be noticeable in the end..

[exquisitesimp]

Comforting Akutagawa during a mental breakdown

A/N: Hello to everyone reading this! I’m back at it again with Bungo Stray Dogs, more particularly the Port Mafia. In this story, the reader (F) is giving comfort and affection to her emotionally damaged boyfriend Akutagawa, after an unfortunate encounter with his old mentor figure (aku was my first love in bsd). Thank you so much for reading and interacting with my posts, it means so much to me! Stay healthy, eat well and drink plenty of water! - Sam

Tags: Bungo Stray Dogs, Akutagawa Ryunosuke, angst, reverse comfort, SFW

Warnings: mental breakdown, emotional and physical abuse, NSSI

Word Count: approx. 4.8k

It was one of these nights again; these difficult, heart-wrenching nights that constantly made you question the meaning of such a life, a life filled with pain and suffering. You’ve become a little too familiar with this feeling since you’ve experienced, well… a little too many nights like these. 

“Remember what you’re doing all this for!” you exclaimed. 

Except there was nobody there to listen, save for the librarian that was sick of having you be the last one to leave the library in the dark hours of the early morning for the fifth time this week. Talking to the void, maybe all that studying did drive you insane after all. 

“You scared the life out of me, for the love of god!”, the lady gasped, jumping awake from the information desk. Poor her, she probably hated these nights even more than you did.

“I’m terribly sorry”, you said, chuckling in awful embarrassment.

She gave you a cold stare, which truthfully saddened you deep down, because you were under the false impression that you had bonded with the woman by now.

“Don’t look at me like that ma’am”, you said, “You know med school isn’t a piece of cake…”

“I know dear”, she responded with a certain sweetness in her voice and a tired sigh, “but isn’t it time to go home soon?”

You looked at the clock above the information desk. It read 2:45. A look of desperation channeled itself on your face as you were thinking about just how much more work you had ahead of you before you could allow yourself to go home and finally get some shuteye. 

“Just one more unit, I promise!” you lied, knowing damn well that it was much, much more than that.

“Pfftt….Like we haven’t heard that before…” the librarian mumbled as she began moving around all sorts of books and paper sheets around the information desk.

Of all the times during the day she could get that taken care of, she had to do it right now? The noise she made was getting on your nerves and messed with your focus. However, you knew she was going to kick you out for sure if you dared complain about it. So you just decided to let it go, for your own good perhaps…

Resting your head which had grown quite heavy and dizzy on top of the open books, you sighed in exhaustion, waiting for the woman to stop messing with the papers and your concentration along with them. Wondering how the hell you were supposed to pass all these exams the following week, you were just sitting there, beating yourself up for always leaving things for the last possible moment. But not even a minute later, your phone, which was laying on the table, suddenly buzzed and stopped your overthinking. 

It was a voice message from your boyfriend, a little smile subtly forming on your face upon seeing the notification. You’ve been together for almost a year, but the habit of smiling at his texts hasn't faded away whatsoever.

“Ma’am, can I pleeaase use my phone?”, you joked, since there was obviously nobody there to be disturbed by mobile phone usage… except for the poor lady of course. “It’s my sweetheart!”

A few moments of deadly silence followed. From the look on her face, you’d think she was finally done with your smart-ass idiocy. 

“Eh, to hell with it…” she responded, having accepted — to your grand surprise — that she’d have you here for quite a while once again.

“God bless your patience! I shall treat you to a huge meal once these detestable exams are over!”, you proclaimed in comedic exaggeration, yet genuinely wanting to express your gratitude to her in some sort of way. With your late-night hypertension and your endearingly annoying sense of humor, you could imagine that having you study here all these days must have been quite a handful. 

“Who said I wanted to have a meal with you?”, she shrugged and rolled her eyes. 

Purposefully ignoring her rhetorical question with a smile on your face, you opened the message and placed your phone next to your head with the speaker facing your ear, the woman sighing at your shenanigan in the background. 

“Hey, Y/N…” 

You didn’t expect to hear Gin’s voice. 

“Listen… I found my brother’s phone in a dark alley on the ground, and it’s all cracked up now, and I’m not quite sure what happened... He was still supposed to be here, but I assume there was some big trouble and he had to flee. Problem is— TACHIHARA CAN YOU JUST SHUT THE F— sorry about that… problem is I contacted our headquarters and he’s not there” 

Your eyes opened wide as the message kept on playing. Two opposing forces fighting in your brain; one worrying that something terrible has happened to him, the other trying to remain cool-headed since you didn’t know any crucial details about the situation.

“My guess would be that he’s at your place. I know you have a lot of work to do in the library, but please check if everything’s okay with him. Gotta go, the Armed Detective Agency is just around the corner”

You heard the words “Armed Detective Agency” and you instantly knew what this was about. 

“Oh fuck” you said out loud and stood up from your desk as if struck by some invisible thunder.

“What is it this time?”, the librarian desperately asked.

“It’s your lucky day”, you replied, packing up your bag in quick, messy movements, “I’ve got to go right now”

“Good grace”, she mumbled as she started switching off the lights to finally close the place down for the night.

“Thanks for everything!”, you shouted hurriedly, storming out of the university library and rushing to the parking lot.

You jumped in your car and immediately started the engine. You already knew by now that no encounter with the Agency could possibly be any good for Akutagawa. And this time, you had a strong feeling that something was very, very wrong.

In less than half the time it would usually take, you sloppily drove back to your apartment, very lucky that you hadn’t crushed the car onto anything on the way there. Running with light steps and pushing through your own fatigue, you finally reached the door and knocked on it.

“Sweetie?”, you called out softly. 

There was complete silence on the other side, a type of silence that grew an unshakeable fear within you. After taking a deep breath, you reached for the keys in the pocket of your jacket and slowly opened the door.

You took a good look at the living room before entering, and everything was exactly the way you left it, including the little lamp you always kept switched on even when nobody was home. From where you were standing, nothing seemed wrong with the kitchen either. At first glance it all looked perfectly normal, but there was something very intuitively suspicious about this quietness that consumed the entire place. 

Due to your intensive studying at the library the past few days, you ended up coming home at times like these almost every day, and you found the emptiness to be serene, and even comforting in its own way. But now it was frantically maddening, as if you’d be crazy to assume someone else was here, but equally as insane to think that you were totally alone.

You gulped as you took a few steps in and closed the door behind you, cold shivers running down your body. Only while taking off your own shoes did you look down to check if his were there, and much to your relief, they were just beside the door. You immediately felt a weight fall off your shoulders, knowing now that nobody had broken in or that you weren’t… imagining things.

You quietly made your way right in front of the shut door of your bedroom, and since you already passed by the empty bathroom, you knew that was the only place where he could possibly be. Just by standing there you felt a dark chilly aura strike you down to the bone. 

Knowing about his occupation and even his abusive past, you were already aware that Akutagawa was very much capable of becoming violent. But this wasn’t the first time he went through a crisis like this with you, so you had faith that if you stood there for him once again, it would all work out, just like the previous times.

You plucked up all the courage you had inside you and knocked on the door. 

“Sweetie?”, you repeated. “Are you alright?”  

Once again, no answer. At this point you started getting worried. That was the only place he could be, right? Then why was he not responding?

Making the tiniest amount of sound possible, you pushed the door open ever so slightly to peek through the crack, and that’s when you saw something you’ve never witnessed before.

Although the light switch was on, the room was pitch black with only a few strands of light somehow making their way through. Sinister branches of darkness were spread all over, some intertwined with one another in an infernal veil, and others ruthlessly piercing the entirety of the space like enormous, sharp blades. 

You were completely astounded. You had no idea that Rashoumon could take on such a petrifying form.

Before you could even begin to grasp the density and the complexity of what your eyes just viewed, the door was somehow explosively shut inches away from your face, causing you to gasp at the thunderous noise.

“HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE DOOR?”, Akutagawa yelled, his strung out voice echoing within his ability’s construction. 

“I’m sorry sweetie”, you responded peacefully, “I just wanted to check if you’re okay…”

“What does this look like to you?” he asked sarcastically, while Rashoumon locked the door from the inside, eliminating any possibility that he’d just let you in that easily.

“What I meant is, are you physically okay? Did you get hurt?”, you asked, trying to maintain your calm composure.

“I’m intact”, he answered as if even such a small question was so immensely bothersome to him at that moment, “now LEAVE. ME. ALONE!”

“How am I supposed to leave you alone in a state like this?”

He didn’t respond, but it’s not like you expected him to. Hurt and afraid, he always hid inside his hard shell at times like this, and it took a lot of strength and effort to get him to open up to you. You took a big breath, because the difficult part was just starting. 

“Your sister found your phone somewhere in the city and contacted me…”, you began.

“I don’t wanna talk about this…” he growled as rage kept building up within him.

“I know it’s difficult to talk right no—“

“THEN CUT IT OUT”, he screamed with a trembling voice and paused for a second, “before I break the door…”

“You don’t have to talk about it right now, but please just listen”.

You paused for a while to see what his reaction would be. Although he was once again mute, you were quite happy that you didn’t get smashed by the door; it meant he was waiting for you to speak.

“I know you’re not feeling well right now, and I just want to let you know that it’s totally okay to feel this way, even though I don’t know what exactly happened… I just wanted to tell you…”.

Another silence-filled pause ensured you that he was still listening.

“You did the right thing to come here, sweetie… The fact that you’re here right now means that even if you want me to leave you alone this instant, some part of you wants to find comfort here… And that’s exactly what I want to do for you right now. I just want to make it better, I promise. Please, Aku…Let me help you…” 

No response.

“I’ll be waiting right behind the door for as long as you need. Please don’t break me along with it, or better yet, let me in whenever you feel like…”

It wasn’t much later that you heard the door finally unlock behind you, so you stood up, carefully opened it, and saw that your previously unimaginably ominous room was now just the way you remembered it.

Akutagawa was sitting on the floor in the corner across the room, curled up so he could take up as little space as possible. He had wrapped his arms around his knees and held them closely against his chest. His cloak was thrown over his shoulders, covering most of his upper body and his head was buried on his forearms.

You quietly approached him and sat next to him to keep him at ease. All these months in a relationship with him taught you that at times like these, he felt threatened by people sitting right opposite him, and didn't respond to them so well. He also deeply despised being looked at when he’s in such a vulnerable state, so you respected his wishes and looked at the floor, avoiding his eyes at all costs.

“Take your time, sweetie. I’m here to listen”, you said after a minute or two. 

He took a big breath before lifting his head up, while you made sure to make him feel as comfortable as you could, based on his own individual terms.

“The Command Unit was sent to the center of Yokohama to investigate some strange movements in the black market… and there, I ran into that stupid weretiger...”

“Mhm hm”, you nodded as you kept listening carefully.

“We started a fight and I had cornered him in this alley… that was all until he showed up…”

“Dazai?”, you asked, just to make sure your assumptions were correct.

“Yes…” , he answered as his voice got weaker. “He nullified my ability and told the weretiger to leave, so it was just the two of us…”

You noticed it was getting harder and harder for him to speak as the conversation shifted towards Dazai. It was no surprise since he’d talked to you about him before but it was, nonetheless, upsetting to hear.

“No…”, you said, “and what did he do?”

“Well, he…”, Akutagawa said and then paused as if to collect himself, “he kicked me right below the chest and I was on the ground coughing…”

He took a breath, before proceeding to give you the rest of the story.

“And he said some things… something about the weretiger being better than me… but I’ve heard that before…”

“Aw sweetie—“

“He knows…”, he said, burying his head on his knees once again. “He found out about my disease somehow…”

When you heard him quietly weep, you moved a little closer to him, just enough so that he didn’t feel alone in this difficult, doleful moment. Before you could even begin to ask how Dazai managed to find that out, Akutagawa jumped into your arms and buried his head on your shoulder, letting his black cloak fall off his frail body.

As he did that, you didn’t fail to notice that his white shirt had bloody stains on each sleeve, a little bit above the length of the elbow. Both sides had five holes each, one for each of his own fingers that had been digging into his skin, scratching and ripping it apart.

You were so upset, but you realized that it would be no good to address it right now. So instead, you wrapped him up in the warm embrace that he desperately needed at the time.

“That lung disease you have is going to kill you soon… Maybe then, I’ll consider coming back to the Port Mafia… Such a shame that… even when you leave your last pathetic breath… there won’t have been a single moment… when you were better than my new apprentice…” 

“That’s what he said to me…”, he uttered, sobbing in between these nasty, horrible phrases. 

Your eyes started watering as you squeezed him tighter against you. It was beyond you how anybody could be so viciously cruel to someone so loyal and devoted, even if fate brought it so that they parted ways.

“That’s so hurtful…”, you whispered as tears were running down your cheeks. “It’s okay… Let it all out, I’m right here…”

“Why? Just why?!”, he cried in anguish, “How much more must I do? When will all this be over? When will I ever be enough?!”

You didn’t know how to respond to such questions at times like these, so you just let him lash out until he hopefully calmed down eventually. 

“What am I saying? That’s never gonna happen…”, he lamented as his body started shivering, “I’m so sorry, Y/N… I’m a worthless and pathetic fool…”

“That’s not true…please stop saying things like that…”, you pleaded.

“I’m just gonna die so pointlessly… And it won’t even matter to him…”

“Well it’s gonna matter to me!”, you raised the tone of your voice, verklempt and teary-eyed.

His chest kept pumping against yours as he was struggling for breath. 

“I’m so sorry my love…”, you apologized, fearing that all you just did was worsen his situation by letting your own emotions take over. He tried to say something, but in this state, coherent words couldn’t come out of his mouth.

You had to stay strong and help him during this difficult time. Right now, the situation wasn't about you.

“Listen to me, let’s take some deep breaths okay? Breathe in till four, hold till four, and breathe out till six. Can you do that for me?”

You felt him nodding yes, lifting his head up and letting his chin rest on your shoulder. 

“Perfect, I’ll count: 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6…”

Akutagawa tried to follow your count as much as he could. You had to do this exercise about fifteen times before his breathing took its normal pace back. Your hand was always gently caressing the back of his head, and with every round you completed, you made sure that he knew he was doing a good job. 

“I’m so proud of you”, you murmured and kissed his temple, “are you feeling any better now?”.

He nodded yes and sniffed his nose.

“Can I look at you?”, you asked.

He sighed, then nodded yes once again. Once he let go, you gently cupped his face and lifted his head up so you could look at him. His poor, restless eyes were ever so red and puffy from all the tears he’d been shedding.

“My sweet Aku…”, you whispered, “if only there was something I could do to take your suffering away… I can only imagine how terrible it feels to be treated so horribly by someone you look up to so much, to always feel like you’re the second option…”

You paused to take a big breath and collect yourself. 

“And I know it’s not the same to hear it from me… but you’re always going to be my first choice… always…” 

A sad, bitter smile morphed into your boyfriend’s face upon hearing these words, as if they were half-empty, not coming from a certain someone he’d want to hear them from instead.

“I’ll always be here for you… You’re my everything, my love… I love you more than anyone and anything in this world… And seeing you suffer like this… it crushes me…”

Akutagawa sat there in silence, guiltful and grey, shifting his gaze to the cold, hard floor. 

“Especially this…” you said with a cracking voice, and looked at the red stains on his sleeves, “this just… it breaks my heart…”

His withering eyes were filling up with tears again. 

“Promise me you won’t do it again…please…”, you begged.

“I promise…I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry sweetie, none of this makes you weak in my eyes…. You’re so strong… so much more than you think…”

You looked at him sweetly before pulling him closer to give him a soft kiss on the mouth, his lips passive, almost motionless against yours.

“Now go have a warm shower, you need to relax”, you said, getting up from the floor and offering him a helping hand to stand up as well. “Make sure that a lot of water runs over your wounds. I’ll take care of them once you’re done, okay?”

“Okay”, he answered, giving you his hand, letting you pull him up and still hold him all the way to the bathroom. 

“Thank you so much, Y/N… really…” 

“Don’t mention it”, you responded lovingly.

As he shut the door behind him, you immediately got this morbid feeling, this insurmountable urge to break down and cry. 

You loved him with all your heart, but in comparison to even the tiniest praise from Dazai, your love for Akutagawa didn’t matter nearly as much to him. And that thought pained you so much, it cut deeper than a knife… In a way, you could even say you understood him, knowing that your one and only was gonna leave you soon, and that you’ll always come second, till the last moment… till his last moment, his very last breath…

It was all so devastating… But as you pushed the tears back, you remembered the promise that you made to yourself when you first got into a relationship with him; no matter how hard things got, you were gonna love this person as much as you could, for as long as you could… Until the very end, you had to be his pillar of strength and continue cherishing him no matter how much it hurt you in the process. 

And you loved him so much, you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

“Hey Gin”, you spoke to your phone as you recorded a voice message for her, “I found him, he was at my place. He’s okay, he has a few surface wounds on his arms, most probably nothing to worry about. You can let your boss and the others know that he’s safe and that he’ll stay here for the next couple of hours… And, by the way, thank you for contacting me as soon as you found his phone….Things might’ve been worse, had it not been for you… Call me if you need anything”

As you hit “send”, Akutagawa walked out of the bathroom, wearing an oversized white t-shirt and plaid black and white pajama bottoms, with the towel he used to dry his hair thrown around his neck.

“Feeling more comfortable now?” you asked. 

“Yeah”, he responded.

“Good. Now come here, let me see your arms…”

He made his way next to you, letting you investigate his wounds.

“Hmm…”, you said, lost in thought, “they’re not as deep, so you’re not gonna need any stitches… but they do look a bit inflamed… we definitely need to disinfect these”

You took him by the hand back in the bathroom again, where you kept your medical kit. You grabbed the disinfectant bottle and lathered some liquid over a big piece of sterile cotton. 

“I gotta warn you sweetie, this might burn a little…”

“Yeah, like I haven’t had worse– OWW!!”, he exclaimed as you pressed it against his wounds.

“I’m sorry, perhaps I wouldn’t have to do this if you hadn’t used your own hands. You were out fighting, who knows how many germs they had…”

“It burns…”, he hissed, clenching his jaw.

“Warned you…”, you responded. “You’ve never used disinfectant before?”

“Do you really think people in the mafia care to use this sh– AUGHH!”, he snarled once again as you repeated the same treatment to his other arm. 

“We’re almost done now…” you reassured him as he gave you the most displeased, irritated stare.

“Hmm let’s see…” you mumbled to yourself while searching the contents of your kit, “I don’t have big enough band-aids for this… guess we’ll have to cover them with something else…”

You opened up two bandages, and with a little hesitation, Akutagawa let you wrap them around his arms tightly.

“All patched up!” you said, giving his boney shoulders a light squeeze, “Is there anything I can make for you? Anything to eat? Some tea maybe?”

“No, I think I’m gonna throw up if I do…”

“Yeah, we wouldn’t want that… Okay then, I think we should go to bed and get some rest, no?”

“Yeah…”

After you changed into your pajamas and brushed your teeth, you made your way into the fluffy futon and scooched over for Akutagawa to join you shortly after. While he is generally the quiet type, this time you could tell that he was way too tired even for the short-lived, yet endearing small talk before bed. 

“My eyes hurt…” Akutagawa murmured as he slid next to you.

“I know, sweetie…Come here…”, you said, lifting up the cover and inviting him close to you.

Your boyfriend found his way into your arms again, his tired head buried in your chest and his thinned body clinging onto yours, the entirety of his being searching for warmth within your embrace. The comforting motions of your hands caressing his back and the sound of your heartbeat was everything he could ask for at the time.

“Feels like you’ve lost more weight…”, you pointed out as you grazed your fingers over the prominent parts of his skeleton, “Have you been eating well lately?”

“Mm-mm”, he shook his head no after a short pause, as if to adjust his thinking to your own standards of self-preservation. To him, if he made it out alive at the end, what was there to care for?

“Well that’s no good…I’m making you fluffy pancakes and your favorite tea in the morning”, you said knowing that, being starved of affection almost his entire life, he found these simple acts of kindness to be a huge deal. His contentment was clear as day, flowing through you as he pulled himself closer, practically sealing shut whatever space there was between the two of you.

“Thank you…”, he purred against your chest, the mere sweetness of his adorable reaction leading you to plant gentle kisses on the top of his head.

“Anything for you sweetie… I just want you to take care of yourself. Undereating can’t do any good to your condition… And I want to keep you around as much as possible, make as many happy memories together as we can…Like that time when you took me to dinner with the mafia for the first time and Higuchi kept warning me not to hurt your feelings or ‘I’ll be dead’...”

“Tsk, that piss-off…” he mumbled in a mix of displeasure and nostalgia, getting annoyed just by remembering the event, but being strangely happy that he got to experience it with you. 

“It made me very happy that you apologized to her…”

“After you told me I was acting just like him, I had no choice…”

“And I’m so proud of you for that, sweetie…” you whispered, running your fingers through his hair

“I still remember when we had Gin and Chuuya over for my birthday and we played that drinking game he had suggested. I’m pretty sure at some point he stopped caring about the rules and started losing on purpose…Ah, what an iconic day…Oh, and that day when I first told you that I loved you…Hahah, you were so awkward whenever I told you that on the phone. It took you a couple of weeks before you were brave enough to say it back to me... But it’s okay, I’m not blaming you, it’s most wise to wait for the time when you are a hundred percent sure that you feel the same way for me… Hey, what about the day of our first date–”

You’d been talking for quite a while now, vocally walking down memory lane, too absent-minded to notice that Akutagawa was fast asleep by then. Your melancholic monologue got softly interrupted by his faint, quiet snores. 

“Aww of course. I almost forgot how easily you fall asleep whenever I start rambling like this…”

You slid your hands under his shirt and felt the soft skin on his back. His hold on you was more relaxed, but far from apathetic, as if what remained of his slowly melting tension was love, and only love. 

You smiled, feeling infinitely blessed that your boyfriend was there with you, that you were listening to his slow breathing as he was drifting somewhere far away. Your eyelids had been feeling heavy for a while, but before you joined him, you wanted to get some things off your chest; somethings you truly wanted Akutagawa to know, even though you knew that he wouldn’t hear much of it in his sleep.

“Aku, my sweetheart… You are worth so much more than you think. You are enough— no, you’re even more than that… And I wish I had the means to show you just how much you mean to me… Oh, if only I could make you feel even half of my love…”

A/N: Akutagawa cried again in the middle of the night, but didn’t want to bother Y/N with his feelings any further. He removed the bandages because anything that reminded him of Dazai, he couldn’t have on his body. After Y/N found out, she apologised for her ignorance and made him the most delicious fluffy pancakes.

[ladykailitha]

Royal Pain Part 28

Hello! This is the last chapter before the epilogue. I'm so grateful for everyone who's still reading this little big story. Longest thing I've ever written. It caps out at nearly 60k words. I want to thank the people who have been reading this since day one and all the people that joined us for the ride along the way.

I love reading your comments and theories. I especially loved reading the freak outs over cliffhangers and the abuse I piled on our poor boys. But I am a sucker for happy endings.

Also a little treat for @goodolefashionedloverboi who wanted this way back in part 21.

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7 Pt 8 Pt 9 Pt 10 Pt 11 Pt 12 Pt 13 Pt 14 Pt 15 Pt 16 Pt 17 Pt 18 Pt 19 Pt 20 Pt 21 Meta Pt 22 Pt 23 Pt 24  Pt 25 Pt 26 Pt 27

***

“Steve!” Robin called out. “Your boyfriend is here!”

Steve came running out of the back room. His grin nearly split his face in two.

He lifted Eddie up and spun him around. Eddie laughed out loud.

“Put me down, you menace!” Eddie said between gasps of giggles.

Steve gently put him down. And then kissed him right in front of Robin.

Who promptly fake gagged.

“Shush you,” Steve said. “You should be grateful I didn’t let him keep me in bed this morning.”

Robin gasped. “Betrayal! And in front of my coffee no less!” She covered her coffee with her hands as if to shield it from the scene in front of her.

Eddie laughed. “Sorry there Birdie, it was a very near thing. I had to be bribed!”

She shook her head. “Go on, get! Before you ruin my coffee with your sugary sweetness.”

Steve and Eddie just smiled and walked back to Steve’s room, hands in each other’s back pockets.

Once they got to the room, Eddie was all over Steve. Hands tangled in his hair, lips on that perfect mouth. Gripping the back of Eddie’s shirt was all he could do to keep upright.

“Baby,” Eddie whined when they finally broke apart. “I missed you so much. I promise to never leave you like that again.”

Steve nuzzled their noses together and sighed happily. “I know, Eds. I missed you too.”

Eddie stepped back to take off his shirt and Steve scanned over the expanse of his chest.

Eddie caught the look and grinned. “No new tattoos, sweetheart. I don’t trust anyone else but you.”

Steve blushed. “That’s nice to hear, beautiful. But I was just ogling my boyfriend.”

Eddie laughed. “Yeah, okay that’s fair.” He walked over the chair and straddled it, resting his head on his folded arms.

“Let’s get this bad boy done, shall we?” Steve sighed happily.

“Sure thing, darlin’,” Eddie murmured. “Can’t wait.”

Steve started up his gun and got to work. All the while they chatted about the lighter stuff of the last three weeks. Eddie caught up on all the shop gossip.

“Honestly,” Steve said, “if Robin doesn’t pick soon, she’s going to be in the world’s most awkward polycule.”

Eddie laughed. “She’ll figure it out. But I guess Birdie really has a thing for redheads.”

Steve chuckled too. “Oh, yeah. Pretty much always had. Except once with Nancy back in high school. But that was more a ‘everyone had a crush on Nancy’ thing then a specific crush.”

Eddie hummed. “You said you had a thing for curly haired smart people with soulful eyes. You were talking about me too, right?”

Steve huffed out a laugh. “Oh yeah. I’m not a subtle person when it comes to my crushes. Pretty much everyone figures it out before I do. Except in your case. I’ve had a crush on you since high school.”

“Me too, Stevie.”

“It’s about time we got our heads out of our asses, then.”

Eddie murmured his agreement and they settled into a comfortable silence.

*

Robin was still going to kick Eddie’s ass for making Steve sad for two weeks, but after hearing it from him how much he hated touring and how much he missed Steve, she forgave him for the most part. He sounded like he had been more miserable than Steve and that was honestly saying something.

So she went to Corroded Coffin’s return concert at the Nightmare Holes and cheered loudly for them.

She also knew she had to chose between Chrissy and Vickie soon otherwise they were going to have a cat fight.

But Robin didn’t want to chose. She liked the attention from both girls plus it would be super awkward if she chose Vickie and Chrissy stayed at the shop. But it would also be awkward working with Vickie at the front desk if she picked Chrissy.

It was a mess.

But then a lightbulb dawned over her head. Maybe she didn’t have to chose.

She spoke to them on their way to the club and ended up dancing with both of them all night.

*

Steve waved at the rest of the band as Eddie dragged him to his car, eager to get back to Steve’s apartment.

Steve laughed as Eddie shoved him into the passenger seat of his own car and got in the driver’s seat.

“Someone’s in a hurry there,” Steve teased.

“Stevie darling,” Eddie said. “I am vibrating out of my skin here with anticipation and if I don’t see that tattoo of yours soon, I’m might go absolutely feral. Do you understand?”

He laughed. “Yeah, baby, I hear you.”

Eddie breathed out and drove to the apartment. They walked up the stairs and once the door was closed behind they were all over each other. Hands and mouths all over as they tumbled onto the sofa.

Shirts were the first to fly, Steve careful with Eddie’s still healing tattoo.

“Baby,” Eddie whined. “Is your tattoo healed?”

Steve wiggled underneath him. “For the most part, it’s been about two weeks.”

Eddie let out another whine. “This won’t hurt you?”

Steve shook his head. “The scab is already gone. I heal fast.”

Eddie undid Steve’s jeans and slid them down his legs. He looked up at Steve for permission for the final layer of clothes to be removed. Steve nodded and lifted his hips for Eddie to slide off his underwear.

Eddie gasped when he saw it.

His thumb gently rubbed over the tattoo. It wasn’t very large, about the size of a half dollar. It was a simple heart with bat wings and a little crown.

“Baby, is this us?” he asked, breathless.

Steve nodded. “Yeah, do you like it?”

“I love it, sweetheart,” Eddie whispered. “And when my back is done, I am going to get it done on me, too.”

Steve’s eyes glistened with happy tears. “Okay, yeah. Suddenly I need that.”

Eddie kissed him deeply. “Me, too. I need you so much.”

They got Eddie’s pants and underwear off and Steve moaned at the long, graceful lines of his boyfriend’s lean body.

“Fuck, Eds,” Steve murmured. “I can’t wait to taste you.”

Eddie threw his head back and moaned. They had to be careful with Eddie’s still healing back, but they managed to make do and had a great time.

Once they had cleaned up and dressed, Steve began making dinner.

“So how did your meeting with Murray Bauman go?” he asked as he fried up the chicken for fajitas.

“It went great,” Eddie said. “Cec is still going to bring the contract to one of his law professors to make sure he didn’t miss any hidden bullshit, but yeah. It seems like Corroded Coffin is going to make an EP.”

Steve hummed. “And that different than a full record, right?”

“Yeah,” Eddie said, nodding. “It’s about five songs. But it’s what most new artists get. The record company doesn’t want to spend a boat load of money on an LP only for the band to not go anywhere.”

“That makes sense,” Steve murmured. “And you guys are going to keep working at the Nightmare Holes?”

Eddie nodded again. “Yeah, and if the record hits big, we can renegotiate our contract with Rick to get more money each week.”

“That’s great,” Steve said with a smile.

“And you and your genius schedule is going to work out great,” Eddie said with an answering grin. “They’ll even send a car for us every time, too.”

“Wow,” Steve said. “That’s awesome. Looks like I’m going have a rockstar boyfriend.”

“A perfect compliment to my tattoo artist boyfriend.”

Steve came over to where Eddie was seated at the table to kiss him. “Perfect indeed.”

They had dinner and sat down to watch a movie. They curled up on the sofa and just enjoyed each other’s company. Like they had so many times before.

Other than the sex, they were still Eddie and Steve. They still enjoyed the same movies, food, and music that they did before they got together.

They were just finally on the same page.

Once the movie was over, Eddie pulled out his guitar.

“You ready for this, baby?” he asked as Steve turned to face him on the couch.

Eddie played the first song he wrote on the road, the one that made Jeff and the others cry.

Tears streamed down Steve’s cheeks, too. “I’m sorry you were so lonely, Eds. I’m glad you’re home now.”

“Me too, sweetheart,” he murmured. “But I think you’ll like this one more.”

And he play the most beautiful, heart-stoppingly romantic song Steve had ever heard and it was for him. About them. And he was crying for a completely different reason now.

“Sunshine,” Steve said through his tears. “That was amazing. They both were. Thank you for sharing them with me.”

Eddie kissed him fiercely over the guitar. “Just you wait, Stevie. You’re going to get a life time of sappy love songs.”

“And I’ll cherish every single one.”

They got ready for bed and snuggled up together, falling asleep in each other’s arms.

*

The next morning led to morning sex, showers, and breakfast, never too far apart.

They were getting ready for a walk in the park when they got to witness a Robin Buckley walk of shame.

She opened the door and jumped when she saw them. “Shit!”

Eddie and Steve shared a glance.

“And what time do you call this, young lady,” Eddie teased.

Robin blushed all the way to her roots. She pulled out her phone. “Uh...11:13am?”

Eddie cackled as Steve grinned.

“And which lovely lady did you go home with last night?” Steve asked.

Robin’s blush deepened. “Both?”

Eddie and Steve glanced at each other again.

“You want to repeat that?” Eddie asked.

She shrugged. “I couldn’t decide. And Chrissy had hit on Vickie before, which lead to us talking to Vickie and once it was made clear that it wasn’t just a one time threesome she decided she was down for poly relationship.”

Eddie and Steve both held up their fists for her to bump and she fist bumped them both at the same time.

“You go girl!” Eddie crowed.

“Hell, yeah, Robs,” Steve said. “That’s awesome!”

“Where are you two love birds going?” Robin asked.

“Just for a walk in the park.”

“Have fun.”

***

Epilogue

Tag list: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk ​@bookworm0690 @chaosgremlinmunson @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @plyerice27 @thedragonsaunt @sapphirecobalt-1 @a-little-unsteddie @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @itsall-taken @justforthedead89 @emly03 @aizawa-emma @yikes-a-bee @redfreckledwolf @thesuninyaface @bookbinderbitch @archermightbegay @littlewildflowerkitten @scheodingers-muppet @hallucinatedjosten @ellietheasexylibrarian @anne-bennett-cosplayer @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @bestwifehaver @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @oldwitcheshat @nightmareglitter @tinyplanet95 @novelnovella @jonesn4coffee @slowandsteddie @awkwardgravity1 @steaddie-on

[notyetjae]

hcs for sevika with a flirty/seductive lover who doesn't know how flirty or seductive they're being 😭

pairing: sevika x fem!reader

warnings: suggest material, 18+/Mdni pls!,

a/n: first post in 2 million yrs

Sevika was a tough nut to crack, her incredibly stubborn nature made people wanting a long relationship turn away

But you were so persistent with Sevika, you were insanely handsy and confident, from an outside perspective it looked like you had the brute wrapped around your finger

However you literally had no clue you came off that way

Your need for constant touch was just because of how secure you felt around sevika

"I wonder how I would taste?" You pondered, before glancing up at the woman, she met your gaze and you snuggled closer to her,

She ate you out with SO much passion, her hands strongly gripping your thighs, her mechanical hand breaking skin leaving little drops of blood dripped down your thighs, the mix of pain of pleasure was overwhelming as her tongue ravaged your core, your juices coating the inside of your legs and Sevika's chin but you wouldn't forget what ignited such passion until she said point blank.

You were instinctively a very touchy person your hand always gravitating for her touch, your pinkies locked or even an arm wrapped around her own if she allowed

You would even sit in her lap in the bar proclaiming that the chairs were far too stiff and scratchy but her lap felt so much more secure.

She all but lost her mind when you looked up to her with doe eyes after continuesly rubbing your ass against-- it had to be intentional.

Eventually you would catch on, but why stop the fun? Especially with how much passion it gave her, she would absolutely ravage you in bed, have you clawing at her back or the sheets and moaning loud enough to get (multiple) noise complaints.

In face you ramped up the teasing and the innocence, you started dropping and knocking things over more frequently, bending over just enough for your lacy panties to show.

You'd beg to sit in her lap, snuggling ever closer letting her feel your bare ass through your thin dress, claiming to just "forget" your underwear that night.

Sevika was far from a patient woman and you were no exception so it only took a few of these coincidences before she'd drag you somewhere private and bend you over the nearest object.

Sometimes she couldn't even wait for the walk home, she needed to put an end to your repetitive teasing, she'd drag you down a desolate alley, and all but rip your clothes off.

"You wanna act like a slut? You'll get treated like one."

[azrielslostshadow]

Lemon Mousse

Word Count: 2264

Author’s Note: sorry for the wait lovelies. you know how it goes with finals and work and everything else that life throws at you. should i continue this series? lmk what you think. 

pt.1, pt.2

“Huh, I figured you might not be back for a while.” 

azriel’s head shot up at the sound of your voice. you were beauty and grace and light and love and oh gods you were looking right up at him. “w-what?” did he seriously just stutter? he’s the shadowsinger! he shouldn’t stutter or panic. especially not in front of a faerie who probably couldn’t even care less about him and what he does outside of buying lemon-flavored pastries that he doesn’t actually eat. 

“well, I just assumed that you wouldn’t be coming in since the High Lord announced his trip to the Summer Court?”

of course! for the last few months, whenever azriel’s come in he’s ordered extra pastries just to talk to you longer, and when you asked what they were for he had said something about sharing them with feyre and rhys. 

“oh- well yes of course, but they aren’t set to leave until tomorrow so i thought i’d stop by.”

he watched as you tilted your head, brows furrowed and a pretty pout on your lips, “i must be mistaken then. i thought feyre said they were meant to leave today?”

“change of plans. something about a meeting rhysand had forgot.” azriel was a terrible fae. lying to a beautiful shop owner all because he was to afraid to ask her to dinner. he figured he should muster up the courage soon before she found out that he actually hated lemons and sweets. 

“well, besides the lemon tarts- is there anything else i could get you?” azriel had never seen you look so dim. 

“anything new for me to try?” azriel wasn’t even going to eat it, but he wanted to make you feel better. you always lit up when you talked about your treats. 

“just the mousse.”

azriel was shocked. you normally made it a point to be kind, oftentimes going out of your way to get him out of his own shell. “i like mousse.”

he was hoping you might engage in the lighthearted, flirty banter that you usually did, but was disappointed when you only let out a small huff of acknowledgment and moved to grab the dessert. you gave him his total, a tense smile, and sent him on his way. 

he felt like his heart had been squeezed out of his chest- like he had done something wrong. especially when you didn’t even try to stop him from tipping. 

------------

“now i’m no genius-”

“coulda told you that myself, cass.”

“but i think she knows about your little crush.”

once azriel returned to the house of wind, he immediately told cassian and nesta what happened. he thought they might be able to help, but clearly he was wrong.

“first of all.” he began, “there’s no way she knows about my crush. i happen to be the fucking shadowsinger thank you very much.”

his brother chuckled, “so you admit that you have a crush?”

“i admit that you’re a pain in the ass.”

“oh gods.” nesta was losing patience with the spymaster, “this is seriously starting to get so pathetic, azriel.”

“i don’t know what i did! or if i even did anything? we barely know each other, she- she could be upset about anything!”

“except you know her well enough to know something is bothering her?”

“anybody with eyes could see that she wasn’t okay! it wasn’t something special.”

“you should go check on her.”

azriel looked at nesta like she’d grown a second head, “what?”

“go right before she closes.”

“nesta, i already went once today! if i go again she’ll think something’s up.”

“oh what? like that’s a bad thing?”

“yes!”

“wait,” cassian’s face scrunched up, “i thought you liked her?”

“he does.”

“so what’s the problem?”

“he’s scared she’ll like him back.”

azriel sulked into the couch cushions, “i’m right here.”

“we’re well aware.”

------

regardless of how annoying the couple was, azriel still found himself outside the brightly colored shop five minutes left before closing. choosing to ignore his nerves, he pushed past the doors and into the bakery. 

“i’ll be right out!” you called from somewhere in the back. 

azriel figured this conversion would go one of two ways: 

      a. you’d kick him out for bothering you about something personal or

      b. you’d actually want to tell him what was bothering you.

either way he supposed it was best if he just swapped the sign to closed and locked the doors, then he made his way past the counter and into the kitchens. 

it was exactly how he had envisioned it to be. warm and inviting albeit a little chaotic. Flour covered the countertops, a couple of dishes were in the sink, and the floors needed to be swept, but it was entirely you. 

“oh-?”

azriel turned and you might as well have ripped his heart out of his chest, “love?”

your eyes were red and your mascara had smudged beneath your lashes. it was clear you’d been crying and he’d give anything to make sure you were never burdened with tears ever again. 

“sorry, az. i’m actually just about to close so if you don’t mind-”

“what’s happened?”

“i’m sorry?”`

“are you okay?” he meant to ask the question kindly, but it seemed to him that he’d failed when you immediately began to sob, “gods, i- i am so sorry! i didn’t mean to upset you!” carefully, he moved closer to you, hands spread out like you were a wild animal he didn’t want to spook.  

“no- you didn’t i-i just,” you took a deep breath again and before he could ask another ridiculous question, you were crying again. 

“oh, love.” he moved closer before he immediately stepped back again. he didn’t want to frighten you or make you any more uncomfortable than he already did. 

but then you began to cry harder. 

he was unsure of what to do. stepping away made you cry harder, which is what he figured should have happened if he moved closer. you were shaking, trying to hold yourself together and all he wanted was to just hold you. so he gathered up all of his courage and prepared himself in case you pushed him away, and moved to wrap his arms around you.

he half expected you to scramble away from him. azriel knew he was a rather intimidating faerie, he was taller than most, his wings were wide, his hands were terribly scarred, and his whole demeanor normally screamed run away now if you want to live. he assumed if he was lucky you would freeze, but still let him hold you. 

instead, the second he touched you, you wrapped your arm around his middle, burying your head into his chest, and gripped his shoulders like you were afraid someone might tear the two of you apart. 

for a moment azriel didn’t move, shocked that you actually wanted him. 

once he recovered, however, he placed his arm around you, one hand on your hip and the other on the top of your head, bringing you closer to him. 

the two of you stayed like that for a few minutes, holding each other tightly in the lemon-filled kitchen, until you lifted your head from his chest, tears dripping down the sides of your cheeks and an, “i’m sorry.” leaving your lips in a defeated whisper. 

“don’t be.” he moved to wipe away your tears, cradling your face in his large hands, pride surging trough his veins when you leaned into his palms. “if you’d like, we could talk about it?”

you began to pull away, “it’s dumb. nothing really.”

azriel was a lot of things, but stupid was not one of them. he had been trained to see through a lie, and you were clearly inexperienced in the art of deception. he pulled you closer before you could hide away from him again, “no, it’s not.”

you took a moment to gather yourself, wringing your hands, eyes bouncing around the room at anything that wasn’t the illyrian warrior before you, “does feyre hate me?”

“what?” this was the last thing azriel thought would have upset you. feyre absolutely adored you! she spoke of you often to the inner circle. 

“i just- i just want to know if i’ve done something to upset her. she was the first friend i made in velaris and now she never comes in anymore!”

azriel wasn’t sure what to do. he’d taken feyre’s place as your regular so that he could talk to you, but he never thought it would hurt your feelings. “she doesn’t hate you.”

“well, clara from the night shift has been telling everyone she does. that she got tired of my lemons and only sends you in out of pity!”

“the night shift? the bakery down the block?”

“yeah- with that horrible gray brick!” you grumbled, “her whole building looks like a fucking cinderblock with no personality whatsoever.”

he couldn’t help but lt out an amused snort- he’d never seen you angry before. he thought you looked quite like a mouse, “it is rather ugly isn’t it?”

“with horrible pastries too! i’ve never had such a bland, powdery scone in my life! i’m not sure why our high lady would ever prefer that to mine.”

“she doesn’t.”

“azriel. she hasn’t been here for months. most of my customers came in because they thought she loved my desserts. now business is slow, except for when you come in and your fangirls follow-”

“fangirls?”

“they always come in after and ask what you’ve ordered and get the exact same thing! i’ve had to start lying to them- you know i can only make so much of every treat!”

“love-”

“look if feyre really prefers clara’s treats, she really doesn’t need to send you in to make me feel better okay?”

“she’s never sent me in here.” 

you froze at his words, “what?”

“well, except for the first time.” azriel wasn’t about to ruin your friendship with feyre or your business just because he was afraid to admit his crush. 

“what the hell are you talking about? you get a lemon tart almost everyday!”

“i wanted to see you.”

“azriel-”

“i hate lemons.” azriel let out a breath at his admission. when your brows furrowed and you could only blink at him he began again, “and sweets. but i wanted to see you again, so i convinced feyre to let me come in for her.”

“i don’t-”

“i was too nervous to ask you out to dinner and i didn’t want to ruin my chances of getting to see you again so i kept it to myself. i’m sorry i made you feel like you lost your friend. i’ll tell feyre that she can come in again and I won’t bother you anymore.” azriel turned to walk away from you and out of the bakery when you grabbed his wrist, preventing him from leaving in embarrassment. 

“you hate lemons?”

“i ugh- yes.” he looked to the ground like a child being reprimanded by their mother. He couldn’t focus not with you touching him. and especially not when you moved your fingers from his wrist to grip his hand in both of yours, bringing it to your chest, and pulling him closer to you. 

“you came in every day to buy lemon-flavored pastries when you hate sweets and lemons?”

“yes.”

“and then you basically paid me double every single time?”

“yes.”

“because you were afraid i might say no to dinner?”

“well when you put it that way-”

before he could defend himself, words tumbled out of your mouth in a rush, “i was thinking about adding on to my menu.”

“what does that have to do with-”

“a new drink menu.”

“i’m not following.”

you smiled up at him, “bitter coffees, protein shakes, limeades, maybe something themed around the inner circle?”

“love-”

“maybe infused milks too? for nyx of course.”

“i really don’t-”

“you’d have to come in, you know- to try them?”

azriel realized that you were giving him an opening. you wanted him to keep coming in, you wanted to see him again. but you weren’t pushing him away or forcing him to ask you out if he wasn’t ready. 

“yeah. i would, wouldn’t i?”

he watched as you let out a soft sigh of contentment, “walk me home?”

he couldn’t think of something he would enjoy more than walking you home, “of course.”

he watched as you finished closing up shop, leaving the dishes for one of your employees in the morning. then as the two of you began walking away from the yellow bakery, you looped your arm through his and smiled before leaning in to whisper something in his ear, “you could’ve asked me out the first time you came in, I would’ve said yes- still would.”

“yeah?”

“mhm.”

after that the two of you walked in silence for a while- comfortable, not forced. 

eventually you stopped in front of an old building that azriel thought fit you perfectly, “yours?”

“yeah. thanks for walking me home, azriel.”

he scratched the back of his neck, “anytime.”

you squeezed his hand before walking up the steps and unlocking the door then you paused, “azriel?”

“yes?”

“my door’s always open.” you turned to him one last time, “dinner’s usually around eight, and i’ve got this nasty habit of making too much food for one person ya know?”

he smiled brighter than normal, grateful that you were the one to make the first move, “well, we wouldn’t want all that food to go to waste now would we?”

fin

Taglist:  @andrewgarfield2022 , @azzydaddy, @off-beam, @elsie-bells, @goldentournesol, @bsenpai-blog, @leeknows-wife, @weirdo-fun, @graciereads, @thecraziestcrayon, @marigold-morelli, @hollyismentallyillhelp, @gamarancianne, @philosopherstoned, @maraudersrry, @acourtofmarvels, @fall-myriad, @ruler-of-hades, @bangtanbecks, @lahoete, @brekkershadowsinger, @lotusnegra, @dream-alittlebiggerdarling, @topaz125, @athena-roy, @tcris2020, @annaeli211-blog, @cullenswife, @fanworrior , @abewitchingwillow , @ksuumin , @naturakaashi , @marina468 , @theravenphoenix26 , @forsiriussake , @mich0731 , @elizarikaallen, @and-i-swear-we-are-infinte, @laylrin

[markdom2024]

💕Piglet's Rules and Tasks💕

Rules

This dynamic is in place for the betterment of piglet's day to day life above all other reasons. She will treat Sir's investment in her with due respect and gratitude at all times and will do her utmost to develop herself for the better at every opportunity.

Being Sir's s means piglet is his property. Any significant change to her appearance that isn't for positive health reasons, must be approved by him.

Piglet is to be vegetarian when eating alone and must aim to eat healthily (i.e. not starving herself and not having unnecessary highly calorific foods) day to day. A picture of all meals and snacks will be sent to Sir so he can monitor this. Piglet must eat 3 separate times per day.

Sir must approve non-essential/luxury purchases wherever possible.

Piglet will no longer swear in Sir's presence as it is not ladylike. The only exceptions are when in physical pain, discussing nsfw matters or relaying what someone else said.

Piglet will always say thank you when she is hit, no matter where or why.

Piglet will, unless sick, masturbate whilst peeing then suck her fingers clean afterwards.

Daily Tasks

Piglet will work out everyday and approve gym time with Daddy

Piglet will send Daddy clothing, hairstyle and menu options for him to pick daily. Daddy will pick outside of the provided options at his leisure.

Piglet will take all vitamins and medicines daily.

Piglet will hit her water consumption goals.

Piglet will limit her screen time and send Daddy screenshots of her phone usage log.

Piglet will be in bed with her face washed and teeth brushed 8 hours before she has to get up.

Piglet will gag herself with her fingers or her toothbrush for 1 minute a day. No puking permitted.

Piglet will be out of bed within 10 minutes of her alarm going off, make her be and take a shower every morning.

Piglet will work on her self development daily by reading, language study, or skills development.

Piglet will masterbate for 15 minutes at least once every day while thinking about being Sir's two hole whore. After 15 minutes, piglet must not use her hands to touch her cunt and can only masterbate by humping furniture like a needy animal.

Weekly Tasks

Piglet will train her cunt with a dilator 3 times a week for medical reasons, not because Sir will ever use her messy hole.

Piglet will maintain a high standard of cleanliness and orderliness. Sir will demand proof of the state of her apartment at any time he pleases

Piglet will have little time at least twice a week.

Whore Allowance Tasks

Nonessential purchases must be approved by Sir and will come out of piglet's whore allowance. Piglet will earn the privilege of adding 5$ to her whore allowance after completing degrading tasks for Sir's amusement.

Piglet will be used in whatever way Sir desires to make Sir cum at least once a week.

Piglet will train her ass for 15 minutes a day at least once a week.

Piglet will gag herself for 3 minutes a week with her fingers soaked in her cunt slime.

Piglet will work on her pain tolerance at least once a week by slapping herself as hard as possible 20 times.

Piglet will lick the toilet for 2 minutes at least once a week .

Piglet is grateful for Daddy's rules and control💕

[butmakeitgayblog]

Ooo canon meta question! Do you think if GodLexa was actually LexaLexa at the end instead of some random God (idk I never watched it except thru tumblr) and the ending was left kinda up to the audience intrepetation about their future, would clexa fans feel differently about the l00?

No

Not after 307.

Not after the shit JRot and company pulled.

Not after they specifically went into queer safe spaces and told queer fans that they were "paranoid and crazy" and "should seek help" for not trusting them to not kill off Lexa, because they said they wouldn't! How could we even question that?! *Stares at the fucking camera* Not after them pretending to be mad over "leaked" scenes from their love scene getting onto the internet when we all know good and goddamn well they leaked that shit themselves to fucking bait us into watching live for maximum shock and pain. Not after they did everything within their power to trick Clexas into watching 307 live, touting it as such an amazing episode and literally begging everyone on Twitter to ~not spoil such groundbreaking work~ for others, only to kill her literally 2 minutes after finding happiness. Like seeing her die was some kind of ultimate prize. (Special shout out to Clexa Archive for posting it The Second it happened. Absolute OG MVP move.) And not after luring fans to Vancouver to watch the finale being filmed to show them that YAYYYY Lexa was there!!! Giving them false hope that she would be brought back somehow, only to kill her a-fucking-gain.

They used her time and again in the show, referenced her and tried to bait back viewers with mentions and flashbacks and drawings and whatever other manipulative bullshit they pulled. Having God!Lexa not be Lexa-Lexa was just the final slap in the face of 4 long ass years of them treating us like shit. It was the period on a sentence that had already long been written.

I think the only thing that might've been different would've been the new and fun ways the fandom took it and ran with it and turned it into something 1000× more brilliant and heartfelt and interesting than whatever piss poor writing job they'd have come up with, because that's what we always do. But do I think it would've changed the overall sentiment? No. Not for Clexa OGs at least. Not for the ones who lived through that shit. Fuck them, fuck JRot, fuck that entire show. I'm glad it's dead. The only things about that entire shitshow that'll be remembered in the longrun are Lexa, Clarke, and Clexa. Because of us, the fans. The show itself will fade into obscurity and be forgotten. As it should be.

[turtlesocksv2]

4 Minutes Ep 2 Liveblogging

ok i'm not even going to look at my dash, i am going straight into this. I have been home for all of 10 minutes but I cannot wait.

oh somebody just got their ass beat Cain and Abel style.

So her son committed suicide because of gambling debts. We know who's running an online gambling operation. I see the dots, I am starting to connect them. also LMFAO at Tyme he does NOT know how to deal with patients it looked like it was physically painful for him while she was talking and he was trying to figure out what the fuck to say/do. and in the end, he does the least. Take these pills and tomorrow there will be another, DIFFERENT doctor who is NOT ME that you can tell this to.

Even the nurses gossip about how intimidating and cold he is. Very interested in Tyme's doctor ex-girlfriend just from that throwaway. Girl, do not drop out of your specialty over a boy!!!

Heyyyy it's my other boy Mio! I hope he gets to be unhinged here as well. And lmao at Title being an Awful Boyfriend Jet is really getting typecast as The Worst Dude. Ohohoho, sneaky sneaky with the phone recording, good job Dome!!!

god this flashback/dreamsequence/thinking about his powers scene is so visually interesting. i love it.

Title, your girlfriend is missing and people are suspecting you are involved maybe don't have a dance party in your car??? waiting for your bestie to help cover it up??? he fucking is keeping her locked up until she won't break up with him anymore oh my god. Jet really DOES play The Worst Dude every time. Great, you could stand to be a little more concerned your friend is a kidnapper here, this is why the goddess of time is telling you to experience character growth and be a doper person.

AND NOW TITLE HAS DOME IN THE TRUNK OF HIS CAR POSSIBLY DYING. THIS MAN JUST CAN'T STOP.

good on Great for kicking Title's ass and taking Dome to the hospital.

Lmao at Tyme fixing his hair and tucking in his scrub top before seeing Great as a patient. the nurse calling him out about it without saying anything is Peak Comedy. this fucking loser.

Tyme, Great is in no condition to be dealing with a Hot Doctor who is Looming like that. he has a head injury! the way Tyme just gets all up in his space...I am losing my goddamn shit at the heartbeat sound effect going on while Tyme is inspecting the wound. God this conversation is excruciating in the best way Tyme is down so bad it's hilarious.

Oooooh, JJay is a cop. Oh that's going to be delicious when we get KornTonklaWin drama from it.

Oh, is Tonkla Title's brother? that's interesting. Win has much better bedside manner/victim comforting than Tyme does. Korn's brother killing Tonkla's brother...the drama.

Oh but now we're getting a confrontation between Great and Title...hallucination? was the dead body not Title? anyway, the ticking clock effect works very well here. love these little audio touches that add so much.

Tyme here to save the day! so Title is indeed alive unless Sammon's getting Real Weird With It which I would respect. Once again, it is physically painful for Tyme to express human emotions "I was just worried" ok stalker. he's such a fucking disaster.

Nepo Baby Kitty returns!!! so fluffy, so majestic, would cuddle and feed sponsored treats.

uh-oh system crash at the illegal gambling operation is probably not great!

oof, Korn, just don't answer at all. no wonder Tonkla's gonna leave your ass for the hot cop.

the cello players are really insane, actually. This mafia uncle has flair, I like it.

I've only known Fasai for 2 minutes and I love her already. Mafia Queen!

...Is Bas going to be Ass Out every episode? Because I'm not complaining, love that for him.

Poor Tonkla, waiting desperately for his Ain't Shit boyfriend/sugar daddy/whatever to call him. But wait, what's this? Hot Cop Win is at the door? Sammon always delivers the "ACAB...except for this one Hot Cop that is only half a bastard." be grateful that Tonkla isn't breaking into your car to steal evidence and do his own investigation, Win!

[hyperkitten224]

I have thoughts about the silly AI man (don't look under the cut unless you want a whole-ass ramble in the form of a few small walls of text)

so. I've been having many thoughts about Caine, one of them being his role in the Digital Circus. not just what his role is in the story, but what he's supposed to be in-universe. because yeah, he's the "main bad guy" and all, but he's not JUST that. he's fascinating and well-written, which is impressive due to how his only canon appearances are in two episodes. this show is two episodes long, and the main antagonist is one of the best robots I've seen in modern times. buckle up, y'all

let's start with his role in the show. he's the Main Antagonist, not a villain wanting to cause harm to everything and everyone, just a problem opposing the goals of the protagonist(s). the goal being "hopefully getting out of the circus and not going crazy until you die." does this mean he actively sabotages the mental sanity of the humans to try and get them to stay? ...eh, not really? of course, he still throws the performers into traumatizing scenarios and even causes physical harm to Pomni in the teaser trailer, but there's always this undercurrent of him genuinely not wanting to cause harm, in a way. like he doesn't know that he's hurting them. though, there's a very interesting degree of ignorance that comes with this, as one line in particular sparks some interest in my head. the one in the teaser trailer where he goes "Don't worry my dear, you won't even die horribly!" (not clipped because I didn't want to have that one voice line amongst Pomni yelling in protest) and while yes, it sounds like a joke, and it is, but it also hints to something about Caine's character. he's less worried about the physical pain his performers receive, and more about them just dying. which makes sense for him as an artificial intelligence, as he probably processes it as "there's nothing to worry about, they'll still be here! :)" (though, with Caine fixing Ragatha being jumbled in the pilot, I think he does understand how it affects the performers, or maybe he just doesn't want the rest of the circus to get all glitchy, I'm not sure. maybe I'll figure it out with future episodes. we're only on episode 2, after all!)

and now with how this ties into his in-universe purpose. basically, he's a mascot. a mascot for a 90s edutainment game. and if the context was the game he's made for, throwing out the whole "adult humans trapped in the digital world" thing, he'd be perfect! he's silly, entertaining, funny, and appealing to the kids! though, he's also an artificial intelligence with a very limited understanding of how humans work, let alone adult humans. since he was seemingly programmed for children and not adults, this also reflects in how he treats the performers physically. he gives them silly nicknames and encouraging pats, scolds Pomni for "foul language" when she swears, and usually has this silly showman-y demeanour to him like he's performing for a younger audience. but unfortunately, there is no younger audience. all the humans in the digital circus are over the legal drinking age, and poor Caine's probably been programmed to deal with kids who are 12 at most. with all that in mind, some of his behaviour makes sense. though, there's the problem with the whole "torturing the circus members without even knowing" thing, and how Gooseworx said in a Tumblr post that everyone (except for Jax and Gangle) swears at one point, which includes Caine himself, but I digress. that's something for the top paragraph.

tldr: Caine is good. this is irrefutable objectivity and media criticism is in shambles /j /ref

[loxlei]

Pills Pt 2

All you can recall is the empty darkness while Mattheo carries you. It was peaceful, the thoughts finally leaving you. "Help I need help!" When Mattheo gets to the medical wing, he yells. Madam Pomfrey dashes over, a stretcher magically following her. "I don't know I.. she... took like a bunch of pills or something I.. just help her!" Mattheo demanded as he carefully laid you on the bed. Wheeling you back to be treated, Madam Pomfrey says, "I will help her but I need space to do so, please wait out here". Not too far behind you and Mattheo, the rest of the group rushes in. "What did she take?" Theo queries. "What kind of side effects will she have after?" asks pansy. "How many did she take?" Draco questions. "I don't know I don't know alright?" Matthew states as his protective instincts start to take over.

As the whole group of friends waits to hear about you, Madam Pomfrey enters and declares, "She is okay, she might be a little tired but she's alright." The group lets out a sigh of relief upon learning that you are okay. Theo asks, "Can we see her?" Madam Pomfrey replies, "Of course, but not for too long she needs her rest." They shift the curtain to reveal you exhausted and lying in bed. "You guys are still here?" You attempt to smile, but everyone in the group, with the exception of Mattheo, is staring at you with worried looks, Mattheos was worried and anger mixed.

"Did someone give you those?" Mattheo asks right away. You say, "Wha.. can we not talk about this right now?" in a tired tone. Mattheo says harshly, "Damn right, we're going to talk about it tonight because I.... we almost lost you." "Matteo! "Stop it," says Pansy. "Do you want to talk about it?" Draco queries. You give a "I rather not" shake of the head. Although everyone was in search of answers, they also realized that the time wasn't right. "what were you thinking?" Draco claims that even though he didn't feel like reprimanding her when she wasn't feeling well, he was still obviously worried about her. You turn to face your side and say, "If you guys are just here to berate me, then just leave." "Don't you mean thank you for saving your ass?" Mattheo said to step up to your bed. Before you could even think, you yelled back, "I didn't asked to be saved!" It pained you to see your friends' hurt expressions. Pansy asks, "How could you be so selfish?" and startles you out of your thought. "Selfish? selfish?" You respond, sitting up in bed, "I tried to talk to you guys, but it was always 'never a good time.'"

Theo approaches your bed and asks, "Y/n? Why?" You knew that your friends are acting this way because you scared them, and he seemed to really want to know. You say, "I had to turn it off." "Turn what off?" inquires Draco. Your response is, "The thoughts". Your friends give you a worried, perplexed expression. "Do you ever feel like you are being pulled under water with no way of getting to the surface?" you begin to ask them. They appeared a little taken aback by this question, and their faces became sympathetic. "Yes," Mattheo answers. Slightly advancing, he murmurs, "I know what that feels like, I know it can be dark sometimes and how hopeless it can feel but y/n it does get better." Mattheo sits on your bed "I'm not suggesting it will be simple, but after a while I felt like I could finally get a break, like I could take a breather." It was the small happy moments and small victories, and believe me, you are intelligent and resilient enough to overcome any challenge, especially now that we are here to save you from the water."

@hpnsfwaddict

[artsy-hobbitses]

Nightly music share while I work on commission drafts (Folks with slots will get invoices as soon as I have sketches at the ready!), and while I consider FMA: Brotherhood and Tiger & Bunny to be my all-time favorite series (Honourable mentions: Blackjack 21 and Young Blackjack, Samurai 7, Sakura Wars, Ranma 1/2, Ouran High School Host Club), Gensomaden Saiyuki was actually what got me wanting to write more/dig into more serious topics as a teenager.

Don't get me wrong/see this as a TOTAL endorsement of everything it was, because this anime was UNHINGED, and ABSOLUTELY NSFW in a MYRIAD OF WAYS which was, perhaps, not suitable for 15-year old me (Sure it FEELS AND LOOKS like a funny roadtrip with four bickering dumbasses until the COPIOUS CHILD ABUSE being handed out to nearly every character like tic tacs and at least two situations of incest come up) and not always in the best way, with an animation style that is serviceable at best and completely off model in some situations (Which is A SHAME because I had the artist's art books and her marker illustration work is painstakingly gorgeous/detailed), but one of the scenes which kind of burned itself in memory for me is the one attached to this song, which takes place when Cho Hakkai (The fellow being used in the thumbnail) has confirmation that his wife is dead after searching for her, and he's requested Sanzo (a very recaltricant monk tasked with getting his mass-murdering ass back in line) to pray for her over the ruins where she died.

And Sanzo, who religion-adversed at this point except when he's weaponising it for demon-killing agrees, but says something along the lines of "Fine. But this mantra isn't for the dead--it's for the living", at which point, over this music, you're treated to an absolute gut-punch of all four characters's cliff notes backstories that led them here, and how EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE is marred by tragedy my 15-year old brain was not equipped to deal with.

But it really cements that the anime's central theme is focused on living. Living through pain, through trauma, living for yourself as you are, living even when the world tries to tell you you're better off dead, living for tomorrow and the hope that things will be better, and if they aren't, then you fight tooth and claw to make it better for everyone who comes after you.

Saiyuki is... unique given that it's very selfish thematically that way when compared with standard anime. There is no fight for country, no trying to fix a corrupt system, no lofty ideals---they're messy, dysfunctional mercs on a mission, the good deeds are just Along The Way. These people, these heroes are fun and lively, generally altruistic even if they come in like wreckingballs and are very clearly attached to each other through the bickering (they've been A Team even in a past life, and they've found each other in this life against all odds), but are also jaded, very hedonistic, petty, flawed as hell, perverts, bastards and killers (mainly of demons, but still!).

And they make ZERO excuse or apologies for it---they'll get kicked out of monastries for being heathens, out of heaven for defending their 'blasphemous' choices and their friends and by god they'll do it again, and they'll fight god (this show has peak Fight God energy and they do it at LEAST TWICE), fate and everyone else telling them they don't deserve to or cannot love as fiercely or live as themselves they way they are.

Because theirs is song is for the living, not the dead; You, flaws and tragedy and sins and despair and all---fight and love and live in a way that's true to you, because you deserve to and because it's the biggest goddamn Fuck You to the uncaring Powers That Be.

(Also on a semi-related note to seal this deal, please enjoy their absolute banger opening themes)

[jennadoran22]

Script Writing, Part 2

Act One, Scene One

JOEI enters her living room after taking a nap, looking worn out and exhausted. MADDIE sits on the couch, eating some ramen noodles and casually flicking through television channels aimlessly. 

Maddie: Long day?

(JOEI sighs, and nods)

Joei: It feels like everyday is just longer than the last. Like today, for example, I thought I would treat myself to getting lunch on campus. I wanted to go to Blaze since it’s my favorite pizza spot. But, when I got there, it was unbelievably packed so I couldn’t even go! I was looking forward to it all day and that was such a bummer.

Maddie: Sorry bestie. I know how much it can stink to look forward to something all day, and then not be able to do it…how was the rest of your day?

(JOEI shrugs, and starts to poke around the kitchen)

Joei: It was alright, had a long day at work but other than that, things are going okay. I’m just waiting to go down to Florida at this point.

Maddie: Oh yeah! I forgot about that! Are you excited? I’m sure it’ll be fun to go down there and to see their grad programs, and it’s a bonus you get to visit family too.

Joei: Yeah! I think it will be interesting to see what it’s like. After all, Florida is super different from Philadelphia, from politics, to weather and to lifestyle. At this point, I need spring break. That way, I can just make up my mind and know where I’ll be next year. 

Maddie: Of course! I totally get being stressed about it. That’s how I felt before I knew I wanted to go into Speech Pathology and work in that field. It’s totally natural to feel unsure, but things will definitely work out.

Joei: Thank you! I needed to hear that and I appreciate it. 

Maddie: Make sure you take time for yourself too. It’s something we never think to do, but with this being a crazy time of the semester, it’ll help you more in the long run if you have some stress free things to do everyday.

Joei: Aww, yeah! Thank you, I totally will. How was your day?

(MADDIE sighs, and puts down her food).

Maddie: Work was HORRIBLE! We had so many crazy customers, and one woman kept yelling at me because she couldn’t get her prescription filled right away. She came in at 12:30 though, and it clearly said that the pharmacists took lunch then. At first, I thought she couldn’t hear me and was confused, but then, as I kept repeating it to her, I realized that she knew what I was saying, and just wanted it instantly. Honestly, I can’t anymore with these CVS customers. They always think they know what’s right and how the store should run! At this point, I just want to say to them, ‘why don’t you run the store then?!’ because I’m so sick of this crap!

(JOEI opens up some Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream, and starts snacking)

Joei: I totally get it. The customers can be such a pain in the ass, and they really don’t understand how anything works, and want us to make exceptions for them because they can’t comprehend the basic rules of a retail store.

(JOEI rolls eyes and continues to eat ice cream)

Joei: I’m so proud of you for not snapping at them though! I would’ve done that in an instant, so you’re stronger than me.

(MADDIE sighs, and nods)

Maddie: You’re totally right. They definitely just want us to cater to them and don’t get the rules. It’s just so frustrating when it’s the same stuff over and over again.

(MADDIE thinks for a moment, and then smiles)

Maddie: I do have some good news for you though! I decided to try somewhere new on campus!

(JOEI looks up and is ecstatic)

Joe: Ooohh, I’m so proud of you! I know how much you like to stick to eating the same food, so it’s exciting you’re going to a new place! Where’d you end up at?

Maddie: I got a hoagie from the Footlong Truck and I’m excited to try it! It looks good, I put it in the fridge for now so I could eat it for dinner. It’s perfect because that way I don’t need to cook anything new!

Joei: Ooo, great plan! I love that idea! 

(JOEI finishes ice cream, and throws out container)

Joei: Ugh, I hate to say this but I really need to get some homework done. If I don’t do it now, I definitely won’t do it later. Want to watch one of our shows together later?

Maddie: Yes, absolutely! I’ll browse through Hulu and see what new episodes are out while we wait!

(JOEI smiles, and starts to walk upstairs)

Joei: Sounds great, see you in a bit!

Maddie: See you soon! 

End of Scene

[astromaki]

part 4 of second choice — ceo!shoto todoroki x gn!reader (x ceo!katsuki bakugo) (1170 words)

part 1. part 2. part 3. (previous)

tw ; minors dni angst, toxic family, low self-esteem, mention of divorce, mention of alcohol

extra info; all the characters are aged up (they are 30)

10 minutes after the confrontation. your mother called you that night, a few minutes after you left your home.

it was exactly what you didn't need at the time. that endless lecture, one of the thousands she had been giving you since you were little. those words full of venom had lost their importance to you over the years.

all the time the same slanders, the same insults, the same belittling. but it was all your fault, right ?

you were disappointing your family to get your way. how selfish were you?

thanks to your rich parents, you had married a wealthy and influential man in this society. just go to the gala with him, smile at the reporters. be presentable.

and yet that's what you tried to do. for months, for years. you wanted to be perfect for him, for this man. but did he even acknowledge the fact that you were living in the same fucking house ? of course no. so, divorce you from shoto todoroki ? do it, do it and you will be disinherited.

is that what you really want ? to please your family, stay unhappy with this todoroki.

it's the least you can do. you were a spoiled brat, no better than your father said you mother. why didn't you take a cue from your older sister and brother ? they seemed to have made it in life, unlike you.

so don't complain, you had only one purpose in life. just one, it's not too much to ask. to marry a rich young man from high society to raise his children and continue the y/l/n dynasty.

instead you went to law school, studied instead of slutting around with the bourgeois sons of your family friends.

you succeeded, you created your own name, not the name of your maiden or your future husband. you created this image of an influential person. confident, arrogant, the men were at your feet. but then shoto came.

you knew him from afar, a friend of a friend of your father's apparently. the young man was polite at every event, gala. well-bred, intelligent, charismatic, eloquent.

how could you not fall in love with him ?

then you were married to him. and he only needed that haughty look to destroy all those years of work.

he made you feel like a kid by his side, a spoiled, naive and reckless child. that ridicule and shame he made you feel when you had done something you were proud of.

this feeling of inferiority that you had managed to escape from your family, you had found it again with this frightening man. you had become the clown in your own house, the servants must have laughed at your domestic scenes.

he had succeeded in making you forget your wedding anniversary, savoring the pleasures that a man can give you with a simple compliment, or even a small sign of affection. the todoroki had always been a respected, even feared name. because of the father, now because of the son.

so, you were a fool to develop ever stronger feelings for him. ever bigger.

but it wasn't your fault, your parents didn't show you any love, any gesture of affection, you didn't talk that much except for business and inheritance.

their love was cold. reserved, distant. you knew they loved you, and that was enough for you.

you were used to that kind of affection, that was your definition of love.

that's why you were so easily attracted to those who didn't deserve you. those who so easily played on your true love. so easily in love with shoto todoroki and his cold love. that's what you knew well. you felt protected with that, and in danger when they gave you too much. too bad it wasn't reciprocated.

too bad you couldn't see that green jealousy tinting katsuki's cheeks. oh let's talk about katsuki.

that poor idiot who had made this rivalry in his head between him and shoto. he hated him for treating you so badly, neglecting such an extraordinary person as you. what did he see in momo that he didn't see in you ?

this asshole must have had very few neurons to miss the treasure that you were.

but he hated you too. how could you fall in love with him ? when katsuki was standing right in front of you ?

bakugou started from nothing, created this company, built a flourishing empire. and now he's playing with billions of dollars so he can approach you and your family with dignity at the most coveted galas of the moment in all of east asia. fuck, for you, y/n, he even became the enemy of shoto todoroki !

and all you did was complain that shoto didn't compliment your outfit or your new hairstyle. you were brainwashed. he knew that you would always return to shoto like a dog to his master. that all shoto had to do was whistle for you to come back and beg him to let you love him, again and again.

he love you sincerely, it's so pure, so loyal. and itd be the most genuine passion you would ever meet again. but his desire to destroy the todoroki son far exceeded his love for you, y/n.

what a pathetic fate. even in the eyes of your soulmate, between you and revenge, you would be the second choice.

todoroki was standing outside his window with a glass of scotch in his hand. he saw you leaving in the arms of your charming knight, now fleeing him like the plague.

katsuki was waiting for you in his luxury car, ready to take you to your so-called business meeting. seeing you walk away from him, from your home, to throw yourself into the lion's den.

he wasn't jealous, he wasn't happy either. he did not feel lighter or heavier. it's strange, it can't be explained. shoto finally got what he wanted for years. to see you go. and yet.

he turned his head slowly as he saw the car leave the property. his gaze fell on the bed, he foolishly expected to see you in your nightie on the bed, asleep on the edge of the bed. a tired sigh escaped from his lips. the same sentence ran round and round in his head.

you hadn't learned anything from your mistakes. you were always running to rich men who didn't care about you. like him, like bakugou katsuki.

he was almost tempted to look back you. it's true, even though, you had always been a pain in the ass for him.

what did he owe you now ?

"a couple of jerks, what a great pair. tell me you're going to win all her money in the divorce." sighs momo at his side.

shoto had his back to her, now following with his eyes the tiny point of light that was bakugou's car.

"i don't know. but at least we're free of that pain in the ass. she's gone." he says, almost whispering.

the young man put the pen on the desk, close to the sheet of paper that now contained your two signatures.

go check 5000$ if you want more toxic shoto <3

🔖 tag list ; @nveusii @angelofthorr @missmolliemoo @jazzylove @loki-an-idiot @deepestranchgoopdeputy @mhasimp666 @shotorozu @chscklvr @devilsbooksworld @beigeunburdened @marshmallow12345 (those in bold cannot be tagged!)

[bigassheart]

I’ve seen a couple posts about how everyone was wildly out of character and totally inconsistent this season and I’m just like... were you guys paying attention? 

1. Luther

Arguably the biggest shift in character between the two seasons, but it makes sense. Luther spent a year fending for himself and thinking his entire family was dead. 

This is the first time in his life that he had to hold down a job and actually live on his own. It was literally his first time living out in the world among anyone other than his family, and you can see in his reactions with the other characters from that life (the boss, his landlord, those kids that idolize him, and the waitress) that it has really mellowed him out. It has allowed him to be more normal, despite being very much not normal. You can see the way he’s so much more comfortable in his skin. Literally the only times he looks uncomfortable is when he’s fighting people, shirt off and body on full display. He’s still not comfortable with that, but he’s not trying to hide under huge overcoats anymore. He has people in his life who accept him for being a little weird, but really do treat him normal. 

So is he a little less uptight and mission focused? Yeah. Because he can finally see another life, and it’s the life that he honestly did want in season 1 but felt like he couldn’t have because he was number 1 and he had a responsibility to his dad, his family, and the academy to be the leader. Having a year on his own frees him of all that. 

But he also spent all that time thinking his family was dead and feeling so guilty about it. You can see in his very first interaction with Vanya, where he suddenly feels that responsibility again. He brings a gun, not knowing what’s going to happen and, despite what he told Five, he absolutely does still have that lingering feeling of responsibility. But then he sees Vanya and she’s not a threat and everything he has been holding in for the last year comes out. Because he does feel guilty as hell for what he did to Vanya, but also for the fact that his actions pushed her into causing the apocalypse. He spent a year with the knowledge that he did that and thinking that his family was dead because of his actions. 

He’s willing to listen now because he spent a year living in a world where his actions killed his whole family. And now he finds out that that didn’t happen and he has a second chance. Of course he’s going to take it! 

2. Diego

In the first season, Diego finally admitted that he wanted to be close to his family and that he cared about them and wouldn’t leave them again. He confronted the guilt about leaving, which he had previously denied. He realized the difference between revenge and honoring someone’s memory. But despite all that, he never confronted the reason why he, a grown-ass-man, wandered around the city as a leather clad, mask wearing vigilante. 

So when we see Diego show up in 1963, that’s still who he is. He wants to be that hero and he finds an answer for how to be that hero in the first several minutes that he’s there. So he takes it. I mean, what else is he going to do? His family is gone. Maybe they’ll show up again. Maybe this is it. Either way, he’s on his own like he was before, so he’s got a duty to be the hero he has chosen to be. 

And then he meets his dad again. Everyone keeps telling him he has daddy issues, and they’re right. He absolutely has daddy issues. He’s still trying to simultaneously prove that he’s good enough for his dad, but also doesn’t need Daddy’s approval. Except he does need it. He still desperately craves it and he feels gutted when his dad denies him that approval, even falling back into the stutter he had as a kid. 

Now, despite the way we joke, Diego is not dumb. He is so observant and he makes some of the most poignant statements about his siblings and the way they see the world. He sees the people around them and he understands them, but he has never been able to completely turn that gift inwards and see those same things in himself. In this season, Lila breaks through all that and he finally sees himself in her at the end. 

“Do you know how hard it is to trust people when your whole childhood was bullshit manipulation? Then why would you do that to me?”  

Diego sees himself in Lila, in her failure to break away from her mother despite the fact that he knows she wants to. In the final episode, he sees that she is just like the rest of the siblings, but she doesn’t have to be. None of them have to be stuck with their daddy issues, because they have each other. They can support and care for each other. It’s the last step of the growth he started in season 1, moving beyond his tendency to define his life and his family through their father. 

3. Allison

Throughout season 1, Allison struggled with whether or not to use her powers, but it was all centered around getting back to her daughter. When she appears in 1961, that motivation is effectively removed. She thinks everyone else is dead. She thinks that she is stranded in the past and that she will never get back. She finds a group of people to support her and before long... she finds her voice again. 

It’s no coincidence that Allison’s first spoken words in the series come right after she gives Ray that pamphlet with a bunch of added notes. She finds her voice in the civil rights movement. She finds her power there. She finds a way to help change the world, to change reality, and she does it without her powers. 

This is something she struggled with through the entirety of season 1, feeling inadequate for using her powers to get what she wanted, not knowing if anything was real or earned. Now she has the chance to earn everything without those powers and she is thriving. 

And then she is forced to use her powers again. It all turns out fine, but now she’s showing off and experiencing all over again how good it feels to have power. She spent two years in a world where she was denied equal treatment, where she could be arrested and assaulted for any reason those with more power came up with. And now she feels that power... She doesn’t have to wait for people to give her respect. She can demand it. But the pain is still there, and it’s not enough to just be respected, because these people have hurt her. They almost killed her husband. They have used their power to cause pain to her and all those who look like her time and time again and now it’s time to understand what it’s like to be powerless, to be hurt and to be unable to stop it and... 

And it’s scary. It’s scary to have that much power, to see how you could become the kind of person who uses your power to hurt others. And she knows that her power has hurt people she loves and suddenly she’s right back where she started. 

Only not entirely. 

She doesn’t shy away from her powers in the final fight. She is obviously still finding that balance and I would expect this struggle to continue for her in future seasons. Power can be addicting and Allison’s power is so strong. She knows the danger there, but she also knows that sometimes it’s needed despite the danger. 

4. Klaus

Klaus is an addict. He finds obsessions to bury himself in to avoid dealing with reality. In season 1, he buried himself in drugs and booze. When he shows up in the 60′s, he finds a new drug to bury himself in: adoration. 

Klaus is so impulsive and it’s not difficult to connect the dots of how one thing leads to another until suddenly everything is out of his control. Honestly, that’s the story of Klaus’s life, no matter where he goes. And then something changes. He gets tired of his cult and leaves. Except... that’s not really the reason. 

After all this time, Dave is still the love of his life, and he knows he has an opportunity. He knows where Dave will be at this one time and he knows exactly what he has to change to keep Dave alive. 

He also knows that Ben is going to have thoughts about this. 

I know some people were disappointed that there wasn’t more Klaus and Ben bonding this season, but it makes sense that there is tension there. I think a lot of that tension comes from Ben’s circumstances, which I’ll discuss later, but Klaus is also not responding to that tension well. 

They are fighting more than ever (not that they ever didn’t fight in season 1, where they spent much of their time being snarky to each other and Ben literally punching Klaus in the face for being an asshole), but the fighting is about something new this season. Ben wants his own life and Klaus is not in a position to give Ben what he really wants. We also learn that he has been carrying around this guilt for the last 17 years about forcing Ben to stick around as a ghost. He forced this half-life on his brother and now that it’s not enough for Ben, Klaus doesn’t want to deal with it. So he avoids and deflects and snarks and we see the toll on their relationship. We see it in the way he tries to deal with his plans around Dave entirely on his own. He focuses so much into that last ditch effort. He’s already in such a low place before this, so when that fails, we see him snap. We see him give up and crumble. And Ben falls back to his old role, trying to save Klaus from himself. 

But the tension isn’t gone and Klaus’s guilt isn’t gone. We see it again when Klaus finally agrees to let Ben possess him. Klaus has always been afraid of his powers and being possessed is just as terrifying a thought as being surrounded by the dead. And yet he gives Ben that chance. It’s the last good thing he can do at that point. 

I do wish we had gotten more closure for Klaus and Ben’s story. I think Vanya’s reveal could have been given a little more time, but that’s not really a problem with inconsistent characterization, so we’ll save that for another post. 

5. Five

OK, who would argue that Five was out of character or inconsistent? He’s obsessed with stopping the apocalypse, is willing to cross a lot of lines to save his family, and constantly frustrated by his family’s failure to go along with his plans. This is textbook Five. 

What I loved about this season was that we got to see Five finally meeting his father again. They interact as two adults, not as a child trying to find away to become his own person, frustrated by a lack of trust from his father. It allows Reggie to see Five in a different light and to actually provide advice in a constructive way, something he has almost never been able to do when viewing them as his children. But despite outward appearances and despite the fact that Five is a grown man, he still sees his father the same way he always has. He doesn’t register Reggie’s advice as advice. He hears that he’s striving beyond his abilities and that maybe he can only travel in seconds. He hears his father telling him he can’t handle time travel. That’s why he doesn’t try to actually take the very good advice until the very end.  

An old dog can still occasionally learn a new trick and Five proves that true. 

6. Ben

As I mentioned earlier, Ben is chaffing at his ghosthood. Maybe it’s because Klaus has been sober enough to keep Ben around solidly for 3 years. Maybe it’s because Ben is no longer spending all his time trying to keep Klaus alive and sober. Or maybe it’s the fact that he has finally found someone that he actually wants to spend time with. Whatever the reason, Ben wants to be alive this season. 

Again, as I mentioned, that’s causing some tension. Ben doesn’t want to be tied to Klaus, but Klaus is ignoring that because he feels so guilty about it. Ben doesn’t want to admit that he was too scared to go into the light on his own, so they’re at a bit of a standstill. 

And then Ben gets the opportunity to be alive again, if only for a while. And in a lot of ways, it’s wonderful! But it’s not the same as being truly alive. 

So when the time comes, when he’s faced with that light again... he’s not afraid. He knows that it’s time to move on. He knows this isn’t where he should be, but he also got the chance to be there for his family. He misses them, but he got to talk to Diego and Vanya. He got to save Vanya. He got to save Allison and Diego and Klaus and Luther and Five and the whole world! So while he would have stayed, he’s not sad about leaving anymore, and he’s not afraid. 

7. Vanya

OK, she was a little out of character because... you know. She had amnesia. 

But aside from erasing her past, the amnesia allowed us to see Vanya without the anger and resentment that plagued her for all of season one. Vanya was always someone who was kind and loving, someone who cares enough to leave peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches out for a missing brother for years. Someone who knows the pain of not being seen and who will always take the time to truly see other people. She’s someone who wants to love and to be loved and to protect those she loves. 

That was all here, with or without the memories. And as soon as the memories came back, so did the guilt and fear about what she had done, what she had become, terrified of what was inside her in a way that she was not when her powers first surfaced. But Ben is used to being afraid of what’s inside of him. He knows she’s not a monster and is the perfect person to explain that to her. And this time around, she has experienced the love and care and attention of her siblings (and Sissy) to back up those words. That’s how she finally accepts them as truth, how she finally accepts her power as a part of her. 

Overall, there are things that I wish this season spent more time with, but there was nothing that I felt was out of character or wildly inconsistent. The characters still struggled with all the baggage from their shitty childhood, their fear of their powers, and the guilt in their past. Some struggled in new ways this season and some continued old struggles that had never fully been resolved. The season felt very different than the first, but it still felt like the Umbrella Academy. It was a good mix of new and old and a good mix of feel-good moments we have all been waiting for and frustrating and sad moments that just come with having a complicated family. I loved this season. And now, I’m going to go re-watch every episode. 

[ankhmutes]

I had a Wife... Part 2

Yes, I decided to update the story. I put it on A03 first this time around, and now I will post it under the cut if anyone is interested. I'm still leaving it a bit as a one shot, but I have more of a story fleshed out. As always, comments are welcome, and if anyone wants to help me out with this fic, please DM me here or on A03. I did catch some mistakes in part 1 but I'm too lazy to fix them. But to clarify :

Daryl has six kids.

It is Alexandria-Era. Judy is four. It has been 5-6 years since shit went down.

It had been awhile since Rick had talked with Daryl, but after their talk, Rick had noticed things he had missed earlier. The way Daryl was so careful with Beth, and now Judy and Carl, treating them as if they were his own kids. A flash of pain in his eyes when Judy ran to Rick after a long day, watching Rick swing Judy up in his arms. He had daughters, he was certain. Rick hadn't expected Daryl to open up so much, but it seemed that Daryl was tired of carrying a big and deep secret. He had wondered why he had never heard about it from Merle, but then Merle was Merle. Perhaps now that Merle was gone, there was no one left for Daryl to help keep his memories alive for him.

"She had hair like Judy's an' Beth's. One 'a the girls had hair like that, too. Curls everywhere." Daryl said with a small grunt. "Had'a braid their hair for 'em. Got real good too." Daryl said with a smirk as a corner of a small tooth glinted in the firelight. Rick leaned back and listened. It seemed that Daryl would open up after a long, tiring day of hunting, alone out in the woods where no one could hear his secrets, except for Rick. Rick felt honored, as Daryl leaned against Rick, the fire warming their bodies. Rick felt the tension slowly ebb from Daryl's body, slowly leaning into his as the quiet breathing filled the night. Daryl let out a slow exhale.

"We was together, longest time ever. prob'ly close ta twenty-five, thirty years now." Daryl shivered slightly. "She n' me grew up next ta each other. Her daddy's farm was jus' down the road. Got a load a rock salt shot up my ass a few times." Daryl said with a fading laugh full of unshed tears and memories, his eyes moving from Rick up to the stars in the sky. "She n' me just sat an' looked at the stars every night. Found the North Star.. like in Peter Pan, ya know. We're looking at the same star under the same sky…" Daryl let his words trail off, Rick putting his arm around the older man, leaning into him for strength.

"Lori and I, we made it to twenty years. Could have been you and her too, but.. this whole thing just tore everything apart." Rick said as he squeezed Daryl's broad shoulder tightly. "Families, people.. nothing has been untouched. I just got lucky." Rick said in a calm voice, as he felt Daryl's body tense up under his hand. "If I had known… I would've helped you find your kids. Your girl."

"Kids.. had ta put down two of 'em. Charlie and her baby. That was one." Daryl shuddered, leaning forward as he put his head between his knees, trying hard not to throw up. Bile filled his throat, burned the back of his mouth as he moved up in a fluid motion, walking over to throw up at a small tree at the edge of their clearing. The sounds of retching filled the air, Rick regretting having Daryl re-live the moment. Daryl slowly moved up to the fire on his hands and knees. "Me n' Merle came ta the house. Runnin' up ta the front, saw the toys…" Daryl stared into the fire, a hard look crossing his face. "Heard 'em before I saw 'em. Growlin' and tryin' ta get out. M'rl shot 'em. I couldna… " Daryl trailed off, a frown marring his face, tears filling his eyes.

Rick saw a weight slowly lifting off of Daryl, the tension slowly leaving his shoulders. He looked older, so much older than his forty-some years. Daryl's eyes glazed as his mind went back to that hot fall day, driving down with Merle at breakneck speed when they heard the stories on the radio of people eating each other, a virus out of control and the orders to evacuate the Atlanta area. They had arrived at the homestead in record time, Merle leaping from the bed of the truck, his firearm at the ready, blocking Daryl and telling him to let him clear the area, make sure no one would get any friendly fire. He said he'd rather get shot than Daryl get shot, Daryl was the one with the kids, not him. Daryl couldn't remember exactly, but he remembered the silence in the house, until they got close to the back of the house where the family room was. His eyes widened when he saw the closet door banging, a chain around the rails to keep the barn door from opening up and letting out whoever was inside.

"We gotta. You saw what happened up there with Jesse." Merle said with a scowl, lifting up his rifle. "Me or you. Who's doing it?" Before Daryl could answer, the chain broke, shattering the wood that was covering up the closet space. A blond woman, who could have been in her twenties, lunged at Daryl, a baby screaming in the snugli around her. Daryl reacted, his knife finding its way deep into her eye. The body stopped moving, but the bundle in her chest continued moving, unholy sounds coming from the infant.

"Shit. She got Bowie." Merle groaned, keeping the body away from Daryl, wondering if zombie baby gums actually could penetrate skin. "You gotta put 'im down."

"I can't."

"She did. She tried, you can see that. Finish the job and let him go with her. Kid needs his ma. You know that." Merle said as he drew Daryl back, Daryl shuddering and throwing up in the wastebasket next to the couch. "I'll do it. Okay? You go check the rest of the house. Holler if you need me, baby brother." Merle turned, taking the knife up to the baby and doing what he had to do, taking the body and putting it on the bed, wrapping it into the quilt that he remembered Daryl's girl making for Christmas one year, the red blocks camoflauging the blood that was seeping around the blond's head, like a grostesque halo of blood.

"At least you had Merle." Daryl was brought back to reality by Rick's voice.

"Mmh." Daryl grunted with a sigh, the heels of his hands rubbing into his eyes tiredly. "Charlie an' Bowie… gone, in the livin' room. Still could hear noise, so we had ta clear each room…. found James in the shed. He had a few bolts in 'im. Right at lil kid height, too so I know the youngest tried. I had ta put a bolt in 'im. I'm glad I dinna find everyone. I'm okay knowin' some of 'em got out of that house. Buried Charlie wi' Bowie in their quilt in the backyard. She was a real good ma to that kid. Jus' glad to know she an' him went… together. No parent should ever.. see their kid like that." Daryl said with a sudden twist of his body as if shielding himself from another wave of tears. "I dinna find my lil' shadow. He musta got out wi' my girl an' the littles. Big ones were all gone. Charlie, James, an'… well, I dinna see Mark, but there was lots 'a blood in 'is room. Only the littles had clean rooms. No clothes left, nothing. My girl musta had 'em pack up an' everythin' right down ta the dog food an' family pictures. She an' Tigger were real quick, always."

Rick turned to glance at Daryl, mildly surprised the man had a grandchild or two, lost in the ravages of the zombie apocalypse. The man hadn't looked more than twenty-five or thirty when he met him, but then.. that had been at least five years ago, and they all had aged at least a decade or two since then. Rick knew when he looked in the mirror he kept seeing his Grandfather Grimes looking back at him. He was sure if Daryl ever took the time to look in the mirror, he'd see a older man look back at him, with haunted blue sorrowful eyes that shone with a sharp glint of intelligence and possibly, cruelty and pain.

"Yeah." Rick said lamely, brushing hair out of Daryl's face, letting Daryl rest his head in the crook of his neck. Rick could feel Daryl's breathing slow down, his body slowly relaxing from living through the tension of watching his memories being released in the night sky for the first time in, one only knew how long- four years, judging by Judy's age. "Sounds like your girl was ready for everything, though."

"She sure was." Daryl chuckled as he sat up, looking up at the night sky once again, his blue eyes glinting in the firelight as the fire crackled in the night, sparks flying up in the breezy night air. Daryl's breathing evened out, until Rick knew the man had fallen asleep in his arms. He hoped for a peaceful night for Daryl, and for himself. For everyone back in Alexandria.

[kpop-dungeon-dark]

His Little Princess. (Nerd!Hyunjin x You)

•TRIGGER WARNING•

Warning(s): Non-Con, humiliation, punishment, degradation, kidnapping. Both of you are legal in this. Read at your own risk.

Hyunjin's hands were a little shaky as he stood in front of the busy table during break time, knowing it was the only time when he'd be able to approach her as their schedules clashed. Adjusting his round spectacles one more time, the boy turned his head to look at his friends at a table far away. The 8 boys gave him huge smiles and stuck their thumbs up at him, nodding at their friend as they silently encouraged him to go for it. Taking in a huge breath, Hyunjin turned to look forward again, taking the few remaining steps towards it.

"Y- Y/n…" His soft call went unnoticed as all the cool kids on the table continued to eat and enjoy their break. Looking back at his friends, he groaned inwardly but they shook their heads and warned him not to come back without asking her. Yes, it seemed easy in the heat of the moment but now… standing in front of all these people… even thinking of proposing her while she looked so pretty with her pink dyed hair… busy on her phone like this…

"Y- Y/n!" Hyunjin let out after standing there for 5 minutes. The whole table went silent as his heart started to thump anxiously. Okay snap. Maybe that was too loud. Everyone slowly started to quieten down, heads turning toward Hyunjin and just why was a nerdy loser like him calling someone as the pretty and beautiful Y/n like this so informally?

"U- Uh…" The girl who had averted her gaze from her phone sounded, raising an eyebrow because she remembered him from one of her classes last year. Maybe…? She wasn't even sure if she'd even seen him before.

"I- I was wondering…" Biting the inside of his cheek, Hyunjin gave himself a whole mental peptalk, feeling like his heart was about to burst from all this attention on him. Come on. It wasn't this hard… right? He'd prepared for like two weeks now. Ever since senior prom was announced. It was his last prom. Last year's had been terrible too. It was now or never. "I was wo-ndering i- if you c- could come with m- me t- to senior p- prom-" before he could finish his sentence, some people on her table started chuckling.

"Wooooooh! Is our very own Y/n getting asked out right now?!" A girl bitchily laughed while clapping, causing the girl in question to bite her lip, cheeks flushing.

Fuck. Why couldn't he have just slid in a letter or something like the rest of her admirers? Was embarrassing her like this in the cafeteria necessary?

"I cannot believe this nerd just asked Y/n out!" A guy shook his head before the whole cafeteria started to buzz with whispers.

"Hey boy!" Hyunjin fell to the floor when a muscular guy from the table, who always followed Y/n around like a dog, suddenly got up, pissed. "Get the fuck back! Why're you embarrassing her?!" Grabbing a carton of juice her angrily splashed it at Hyunjin's face. "Is this your little attempt at making her a laughing stock or what?! You know damn well people like her don't go with people like us!"

Everyone started laughing at Hyunjin, pointing at him while ridiculing him, causing tears to form under his juice covered spectacles, only getting further ruined when a girl from the table tossed her lunch on him. But none of that humiliation could have broken his heart as much as when Y/n got up without sparing him another glance, picking her bag up before leaving the cafeteria in anger and embarrassment.

.

"Who the fuck does that girl think she is?" Minho spat in pure hatred as Hyunjin finally went to sleep in his room, the rest of the boys now downstairs in his living room. "I knew she was a self proclaimed Princess and all but this?!" It was already really hard to impress the boy and this had angered him.

They had scooped a crying and heartbroken Hyunjin up from the cafeteria, the muscular guy insulting them as well as he 'advised' them to bring Hyunjin off his little cloud. Then they'd brought the boy home on short leave before forcing him to shower and then he just shut off, collapsing on the bed before going to sleep.

"These popular people are ruthless…" Changbin sighed, tiredly relaxing on the couch.

"They're nobody's. Changing groups is nothing to them. Friends don't mean anything to them neither do feelings. If you're popular, they're your friend. But if you're not, you don't matter as a person." Chan shook his head in distaste, all of them hurt for their friend.

"You're right." Jeongin agreed.

"Guys…" Seungmin, who was the only one that hadn't spoken until now ever since the incident sounded, raising his head. "I… have a plan."

.

Y/n slowly raised to consciousness, blinking and groaning when she didn't recognize her surroundings, feeling a painful bound around her wrists as her ankles burned too. "W- What the…" She tried to speak, blinking as the girl tried to recall her recent memories, gasping once she remembered. Oh yes. She was in the parking lot of the school, walking to her car when she felt someone grab her from behind before a wet, funny smelling towel was pressed to her mouth.

"I- Is someone h- here…?" She whispered, throat painfully dry. "Hello…?" Her voice broke. "H- Help! Someone… h- help!" Y/n's body slowly started to fill with panic as she tried to struggle, realising that she was in a basement, placed on a chair whilst her hands were cuffed and legs were tied to a damn spreaderbar.

"Nobody will help you so I suggest you stop that pathetic little screaming already, Princess." Felix spoke as him and all the boys except Hyunjin entered he basement, smirking at her panicked state.

"Oh look who's awake!" Changbin ridiculed with a mocking smile.

"Tsk. Do you even deserve the 'help' that you oh so desperately want?" Han was disgusted with her as he glared at her.

"Y- YOU- WHO ARE YOU?! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!" Y/n yelled at them, trying to break out of her restraints pathetically, trying to recognise them before realising in despair that she didn't know any of these nerves. "LET ME GO! OR YOU'LL GO TO JAIL- AHHH!" The males laughed at her when she fell off the chair, falling on her face as her skirt flew up.

"We will go to jail?!" Woojin raised an eyebrow as he crouched in front of her. "When disgusting whores like you get to roam around freely?!" Pulling his hand back, the boy slapped her across the face, making her cry out.

"Uhuhuh~" Chan shook his head as he sat on the chair and pulled her back by the spreader bar. "Now, now, Woojin. Little girls shouldn't be hit like that." Before the stronger one of them all picked the girl up by the spreader bar, all of them laughing at the humiliating sight since her skirt was up all the way. "This is how brats are supposed to be handled." Laying her over his knees, Chan landed a smack on Y/n's ass, making her legs kick in pain as she tried to struggle but it was literally impossible.

"Do you think you even deserve to struggle?! After you've been so disgusting and rightfully deserving of this punishment?!" Minho slapped her jiggling ass now, not one of them willing to get effected even though she was a living breathing female with a gorgeous body and they were all inexperienced virgins. Why? Because she was Hyunjin's.

His little Princess.

"O- OKAY PLEASE S- STOP! PLEASE! I WON'T TELL THE COPS! JUST STOP! PLEASE!" The girl started begging now, making them chuckle at her, the rest landing smacks on her ass now as Chan manhandled her struggle, not allowing her to move one bit. "P- PLEASE! O- OUCH!"

"You popular people are so pathetic. Acting all mighty but actually not capable of anything." Jeongin shook his head in disdain.

"Oh it's not just that reason but one of the many behind these popular kids being pathetic!" Han smacked the back of her head, enjoying how she shook under them.

"Hyunjin better punish her well! Tsk! He was just trying to ask you on a date! With all due respect!" Changbin pulled at her hair.

"And you treated her like he disrespected you or something." Seungmin shook his head in disgust.

"How do you like it now, huh?" Felix suddenly splashed ice cold water on her face, causing her to cry out as he ignored her begs, a cold expression on his face.

The boys were ignoring her constant pleads and cries, laughing and spanking her before a voice came from upstairs, a shadow forming on the stairs. "... Guys?" It had been 2 days since the whole incident, Hyunjin was slowly recovering. "W- What are you doin-" the boy's eyes widened as he moved further down, his legs going shaky at the sight before him.

"I- Is that… WHAT THE HECK?!" Rushing the rest of the way to Chan, Hyunjin crouched down in front of him, moving the weeping girl's hair out of the way. "IS T- THAT Y/-" gasping loudly, the boy looked around at his friends, getting angry at the sight of her red face with her skirt resting on her back, limbs tied up tightly. "WHAT ARE YOU-- LET HER GO!" Getting up on his feet, he tried to fight Chan, being pushed back by Han and Changbin as he tried to reach Y/n.

"Don't you remember how you were insulted for literally only trying to ask the girl you like out?!" Felix yelled over the commotion he was making with Han and Changbin.

"We are not your enemies!" Han panted heavily, having a hard time pushing the bigger boy back.

"They dumped food on you! Pushed you to the ground! Made fun of you! The whole cafeteria laughed at you!" Minho added in to the fire, frustrated from how fucking whipped their friend pathetically was.

"B- But that's n- not Y/n's f- fault!" Hyunjin wavered, biting his lip as his heart started thumping.

"Yes it fucking is!" Seungmin shot at him. "You think anyone would have dared done anything had she not done that pathetic cute little act before walking out on her Princess heals like that?" Hyunjin blinked at them and then at her struggling and crying form, his fresh wounds cutting open once again as he remembered all of it. Pushing Han and Changbin away, the boy walked closer to her now, crouching in front of Chan as he tucked some of her hair behind her ear.

"H- HYUNJIN PLEASE! PLEASE! I DIDN'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! PLEASE!" His heart flurttered from how his name rolled off her tongue, throat getting dry. Oh how he'd wished to hear her say his name.

"Yes, you did." Reaching for her ass, Hyunjin placed his shaking and sweaty hand over it, feeling it up before he groped it, instantly getting hard. "Yes, you did. You allowed them to treat me like that." Y/n was shaking her head repeatedly and he grew frustrated, slapping her already spanked cheek. "Don't lie… baby. I fucking hate it when people do that."

Getting up, he started undoing his belt before he could stop himself, pulling it out the hoops before doubling it and bringing it to her ass, feeling a strange kind of satisfaction from her cry of pain. "All I asked was a question. I never stepped past my boundaries…" Going for her beautiful sit spots now, Hyunjin forced himself to not drool before he made her scream again. "And you had them humiliate me like that as if I did something disrespectful… tsk…" Y/n was shaking in Chan's hold as she hysterically cried from the pain, shock and terror. "And now I have no choice but to humiliate you back, huh?"

"Exactly, good little girls don't behave like that at all." Jeongin shook his head, making Hyunjin look up at all of them, a new kind of darkness in his eyes.

"Get out." That was enough to make them all empty the basement of his house as his parents were never home, taking Y/n from Chan before he followed others and closed the door behind them. "Had you not done that disgusting little act, you wouldn't have been humiliated like this, baby." The girl trembled as he sat in the chair, throwing the belt away.

"H- Hyunjin, p- please… I am sorry…"

"Sorry doesn't cut it, I am afraid, darling." Affectionately brushing her hair out of her pretty face, Hyunjin admired her beautiful features that were currently swollen and red, pressing his lips to her nose. "Not when you're looking so beautiful like this with your ass tight in this lace underwear, baby." The girl felt a shudder go down his spine as he caressed and groped her ass to soothe the pain. "I hope you didn't let them see too much, huh? You're all mine."

Y/n let out a weak little whimper when he placed her on the ground, spreading the bar which forcefully held her legs open, causing him to get even more hard from the sight. "I wasn't planning this, Princess. But now that you're here…" Hyunjin's voice was dangerously low as he opened his pants, hurriedly tugging them down along his boxers and allowing his hard cock go spring out.

"W- Wait!" The girl tried to look behind her as she was on her chest. "What are you d- doing?!" Her time was alert and alarmed, breaths heavy.

"What am I doing?" Raising an eyebrow, Hyunjin wiped the sweat off his forehead and pushed his hair back that was heavily sweating, adjusting his spectacles as he crouched behind her. "What do you fucking think?" As Y/n slowly realised what was about to take place, her struggles became frequent and loud once again, begging him to stop. "Tsk… sorry but I don't listen to nasty little whores. I bet you're not even a virgin despite barely being 18, huh?" Grabbing her panties, Hyunjin ripped them off, leaning down to kiss and lick at her bruised ass, the marks caused by his belt and his friends -which he wasn't so happy about- making his cock twitch as the tip grazed against the soft skin of her sitspots, causing the girl to shudder.

"H- Hyunji--"

"Just shut up already, Y/n-ah…" His fingers started to graze against her squishy pussy lips that were leaking. "You're leaking so much… Tsk… is it one of your fetishes? Being punished by your… owner and his friends? Was that maybe why you overacted so much on the situation? Purposefully acting out… perhaps?" The girl could only pathetically cry in response, hating how his finger pushed in her pussy lips, the spreader bar forcing her to open up as his index finger slowly rubbed her up and down.

"So what if a… nerd likes a popular girl? Must it be so complicated? Must it always be so fucking stereotypical? Why? Are we not humans?" His nail prodded against her opening slowly that he wasn't honestly sure was even her opening, looking down to make sure he wasn't doing anything wrong, his only knowledge all the porn he'd watched. "Why am I treated like trash, huh?" A gasp left Y/n when his finger suddenly slid in her cunt, slowly pumping up and down. "Just because I wear spectacles for my bad eyesight and am good at studying? Is that so bad, huh?!"

"N- No! No! Please!"

"Yes… yes…" Hyunjin slowly spoke, rage filling him now as he smacked her ass with his free hand again, continuing to finger her. "That's exactly what it is. I am trash because I am better than you, right? You popular kids are nothing but pathetic little disgusting insecure jealous shits." Adding another finger inside her, Hyunjin scissored her walls and prepared her for his surprisingly big cock.

"And do you know what should happen to disgusting little kids like you?" Gripping his cock with one hand, the boy started to piss on her red ass, making it burn before he pulled his fingers out of her, getting her shirt out of the way and spraying some on her back too, making her squeal loudly in disgust, trying to get away. "They should know their place and be kept in it. All of you should have an owner like me to make you learn."

Shaking his head at her crying, the male pushed his still leaking length in her hole, moaning and grunting at how tight but pleasurable it really was, spreading the bar to it's highest limit before gripping her thighs, his lips falling open at how good it felt. "N- No!" Hyunjin grunted and turned her around on his cock. "I want to see you as I fuck into you and claim you! You're all mine!"

Starting to fuck her hard and rough, the boy reached over and kissed her swells, using one of his hands to rip her bra off. "Fuck…" Hyunjin couldn't believe the beautiful sight before him. "You're so beautiful, Y/n…" He complemented, genuinely affectionate. "Truly… both up here" he finally kissed her lips, moaning at the taste of her raspberry chapstick. "And down here" the boy kissed both of her adorable little fat tits, licking at the nipple and giggling when they hardened. "It really happens in real life!" He excitedly remarked, twitching inside her, already close from all that he got to see.

"I am lucky I have friends that care for me" his hips were moving at a quick pace, Hyunjin's cock bulging against the skin of her stomach, it's shape and movement easy to make out as he used her as a literal sock. "Because I was planning to give up on you. The last 3 days have been so hard. I was starting to believe that maybe there really was no way. That maybe all pretty and popular girls have to go to the cocky muscular jerk that just plays them, makes them cry. Maybe guys like me are always nothing but a mat for Princess' to wipe their feet on." He couldn't help but softly smack her face, pulling at her hair before biting down at her neck to leave marks.

"H- Hyunjin… p- please sto-"

The boy sighed in disappointment at her whisper, shaking his head before pinching her nipple and kissing her again. "No, baby. No. You'll be good and behave. If you don't behave, I promise this will go on and on. There is no way out of this unless you act good. Like a good little Princess." Kissing her lips again, Hyunjin finally managed to push his balls in, collapsing against her as his own sweat fell on the glass of his spectacles. "M- My little Princess. I've always liked you in silence. Ever since Kindergarten. But I won't anymore. You will be mine now that we are of age."

Y/n could only shudder as she felt him cum deep inside her, kissing her lips again as he went motionless, holding her as tight to himself as he could.

It went on for another two hours, Hyunjin losing a track of just how many times he came deep inside her, fucking her in unconsciousness too as she helplessly dozed off and woke up again before she agreed. She will be a good girl. For him.

That was the only way.

.

Y/n didn't really go to school after that incident, the prom approaching just 3 days later. "You look absolutely stunning, Princess." Hyunjin's voice rang in his bedroom and from behind Y/n as she stared at herself in the mirror.

"Ehhh~ s- stop…" The girl whimpered out, blushing as she lowered her head and turned around, slowly reaching him before she nuzzled her face in arm shyly, not even looking at him. "I- I don't."

"Yes, you do" the boy's eyebrows furrowed as he softly grasped her wrist, tightening his hold on it possessively. "You're the prettiest Princess to ever exist. And you look so beautiful in this moment that my heart might just stop" gripping her ass that was locked in a chastity, Hyunjin pulled her closer, growling lowly before he gripped her chin and forcefully kissed her.

"I- I love how I c- can be at my utmost c- comfort with you…" She whispered, so glad that she was in a comfortable dress that she liked and not a high-end extremely revealing dress that she didn't even like deep down but wore it for the name and price, being uncomfortable in it the whole time. Before her eyebrows furrowed because he wasn't wearing his spectacles.

Her pussy shivered from just how Hyunjin kept her in her little place as well.

"That is a normal feeling for those surrounded by people that actually care for them and not their status, Angel." Y/n sighed and nodded slowly, knowing he was right. She knew her friends were fake and bitched behind her back. Of course she did. "Now…" He heavily sighed and moved past her and towards the dressing table. "Let's get those uncomfortable and irritating contacts in."

Y/n quickly reached him, stopping his hand from grabbing the container before she reached for his spectacles resting not so far away, unfolding them before resting them on his nose and pushing them up. "Must the nerd always change for the girl he likes?" A bright smile made its way on his face at her words, chucking deeply before he nodded and kissed her forehead appreciatively. "What you did was wrong but I was no good either. Thank you, Hyunjin. Please always keep me as your little Princess. It's the only time I wanna be a Princess honestly."

His heart was fluttering. "That is the only thing you were born to be, Angel." She giggled at his words before stopping, realising that he was serious and gulping at his serious expression.

"Y- Yes, Hyunjin…" She felt so damn small. Fuck. Fiddling with jacket, Y/n sneakily looked up at the handsome boy. "I- I've been g- good, right Hyunjin?"

His hands toyed with her ass as he swayed them side by side slowly. "Hmm…?"

"T- Then… w- will you please m- make me feel g- good?" Her locked pussy was leaking.

A deep chuckle left him. "Hmm. Maybe?" When the girl whined and pouted softly, Hyungjin gripped her hair and pulled her face closer before kissing her deeply. "Behave tonight and I'll consider, alright?" Before both of them left to prom.

.