#and sharing cigarettes and cigars and whatever LOL

[m0th-t33th]

can you tell me more about chairman rose x giovanni like do you have more to yap about them because i see the vision and would love to hear more if you have more

okay yeah so like. they totally started out as just plain business partners. rose has so much control over all of galar adn giovanni wants some of that yaknow.... and gio is absolutely goign to do whatever it takes to get that power for himself, yeah? but then all of a sudden theres feelings involved and its. they end up dating. Maybe not DATING dating mayve like a situationship but its Something. right.

so its just. gios kind of trying to manipulate rose to like. get more info and stuff. probs wants to know about the eternatus plans and its like. Well rose let me take you out for a drink:) hoping that if he gets rose drunk enough he;ll then spill some secrets.

WRONG

rose, the stupid idiot, catches a crush like so fast. like almost immediately. and so hes gonna assume gios like. offering to take him on a date. instead of just... drinks as friends LOL so hes nervous and doesnt actually drink as much as gio wanted so he just.

Second Date.

rose. gets kinda drunk this time. gio is like 'ohohho yes tell me your plans for this god sleeping under the region' but rose, god bless him, doesnt spill secrets. Instead hes just kind of stupidly flirting and being like ;man... youre so pretyt:/' and giovanii is just like. Well this wasnt my plan but i can work with this.

so they get Closer. giovanni is still trying to get info from rose. he EVENTUALLY does, but by that time hes kind of like ... caught feelijgs back. BUT HE WONT ADMIT THAT!!!!!!!!!! and its causing issues back in kanto/johto because hes been in galar for so long that the rocket guys are like. kind of in shambles.

& something smething by the time giovanni can strike with stealing eternatus for himself and whatever hes kind of. Lost the motivation becayse he kinda Likes Rose. More than hed admit.

meanwhile this entire time rose has been gossiping with oleana like 'woaw hes so niceys...' and oleana is like. Rose My Friend he is trying to kill you dead. but she doesnt actually say that. she does try warn him but rose doesnt listen because. Well. Why would he? gio has been nice to him this far. AND he can handle himself and is prepared to like. cover up scandals and whatever if need be LOL.

this is very messy and whatever but this is kind of how i see the events going about. ALSO forgot to say but rose is absolutely planning to use team rocket like as a sevret card too before he. caught feelings. like in case everythig went to shit he would haave rocket to fall back on as an ally but. Yea.

anyway idk. i caught this bug from my lovely mutual on here @//medichamcham (no tag because i. dont want to bother him but you should totally check her out he does such good yummy art of the two.) and shes the one who made their ship name too (orbitshipping)

uhhh. Ya. theyre fun idk. gross old business men mutually trying to use each other and instead get in a kind of situationship and dont wanna. fuck each other over anymore. Lol

[slutsfordoves]

Hello! would it be ok to ask for knotting + breeding + impregnation + dacry for Wintersberg? Set post RE8, Ethan+Karl survive and get away from village with Rose. Karl always wanted a big family and Ethan doesn't want Rose to be an only child, plus the resulting kid will be as special moldy as her. With Ethan being the pregnant one (bc he's all moldy -making the necessary parts wouldn't be that difficult if the mold can make a giant dragon out of a woman). If I'm being too greedy with the amount of kinks and restrictive with setting, then I ask just for the impregnation kink in any setting you want, please!

hello anon! thank you for playing! here’s one of two fills i was pondering for this prompt. this is the softer version, set in a nebulous alternative "some people live, other people die" universe wherein heisenberg has already been domesticated, lol. still i spent more time than i should have establishing a relationship for the purpose of the filth. i am so rusty (and wrote a decent chunk during a migraine whoops) so i hope it isn't incomprehensible. enjoy.

rating: explicit

word count: 5.3k

warnings: sadism, masochism, breeding kink, dacryphilia, face fucking, anal sex, implied mpreg, anal fingering, light(?) feminization, some mild cbt, and a smattering of other things that matter less

pairing: karl heisenberg/ethan winters

"We'll do what we can to keep you off the BSAA's radar."

Chris slid a thin stack of folders across the table. Old floorboards creaking when he shifted his weight in the rough-hewn slat back chair. Ethan flipped through them, taking note of their contents. Beside him, Karl sat staring at Chris, sunglasses and hat on even in the dim light, face dour and chewing on the foot of an unlit cigar. He held Rose drooling and propped on his shoulder, her small fists wrapped in Karl's beard and hair. 

Fabricated identifications, passports, birth certificates, all printed, signed and embossed. An envelope of bank slips for an account into which a modest monthly stipend would be deposited. Paperwork for the small house, the three acres of land it sat on. A decades' worth of tax forms. A pamphlet for talk therapy.

"You won't be safe. I won't - can't - guarantee that. But you will be safe enough."

Ethan stood and Chris stood with him. They shook hands until the military stiffness with which Chris held himself splintered, and Ethan found himself pulled close and caught in an embrace. The thick wool jacket Chris wore smelled like pine and cigarettes and gunpowder and lead. Ethan could feel with his cheek the plate carrier concealed beneath the fabric. Equally as heavy, Karl's eyes sharp at his back.

"Thank you, Chris. For all you've done."

"Take care, Ethan."

"You can't trust these pricks," Karl said once Chris had gone and the growl of half a dozen car engines had faded into the mountains. 

"We don't have a choice."

"Of course we do. Get him and his wolves back in here. I'll slaughter them while you pack up the car."

"Don't say that. They won't think you're joking."

Rose sneezed, wriggling like a worm, and Karl rocked her and cooed her name until she settled. Her hair was growing. Now little wisps fell long enough to frame her face in a halo, and Karl had tied some back with a little pink slip of a bow.

"You don't have to like it," Ethan sighed, when the silence in the kitchen had grown too thunderous. The documentation of their rebirths stacked between them, lit yellow by the kitchen's single halogen bulb. Karl stared at the papers and held Rose against his heart.

"As far as I'm concerned, this is just another leash."

---

Ethan had already had the chance to become accustomed to this way of living. The house he had shared with Mia had been handpicked by whatever BSAA paper-pusher had been in charge of his case file; they'd not even had a say in the color of the carpeting. So long as Rose was warm with mashed peas to fill her belly, there was little he felt worth complaint. This still was true. Yet much had changed and it was in other ways he now struggled to adapt. 

In early dawn and on the cusp of waking he often forgot that Mia was dead. Once the memory returned he would weep and become unfit for company for hours. They were higher in the mountains now than he had been; he was plagued by increasingly frequent headaches. Most troublesome: he had trouble acclimating to a man with heavy footfalls walking the halls of his home. Knowing it was Karl but being unable to convince his heart rate or his pulse that there was no danger lurking, no teeth waiting to snap at his neck. Only a man tasked with the uncertainty of freedom - who often in the hours of the day found himself doing nothing and who had not yet learned how to cope.

The house was small. They crashed against one another often, violently, passionately. Fights first, and then stalemates, and finally fucking. This was what they both understood, and after everything that had transpired in the village, what made sense.

---

Ethan woke to a strange room cramped and black with shadow. His armpits and the sheets beneath him swampy, stinking of sweat; his pulse thrumming and his breathing quick and he knew with the conviction of all prey that something lay in wait in that blackness with hunger and with teeth. For 120 seconds, he counted the ticking of the wall clock and waited to die. When death did not take him he gasped and wept into his hands until the tightness in his chest began to ease.

"Karl," he said, when he could speak, "I think I had a nightmare. Karl."

But where Karl slept was empty.

Ethan, shaking, drenched, rolled from the bed. He crept towards the little bassinet where Rose sometimes still slept and found it also empty, the mattress cool to the touch. A horror cold like lakewater flooded him, drowned him in panic. He tore the blankets aside, but she was gone. His Rose. He put his hand to his mouth and bent to retch, his eyes flowing again with tears. Where was she? Where was she? He lurched for the doorway, stumbling and blind in the dark.

"Shh, little darling, quiet or you'll wake your daddy."

"Karl?"

Karl looked up from Rose where she lay cradled in his arms. He stood with her in the living room, the both of them cast in the warm flicker of oil lantern light, their hair and their skin red and gold. Karl was wearing only the ill-fitting sleep trousers they had scavenged from the bedroom closet; Rose he had bundled tight in her favorite blanket. Her body lax, dreaming. When Ethan had spoken, Karl had had his nose pressed into the thin wisps of hair on her head. 

"She smells like you."

"You're alright. You're both right here."

"Neither of us could get to sleep so I figured we'd take a walk." Karl frowned, seemed to notice the state of Ethan; the cold sweat pouring out of him and the tremors shaking through him and the fat wet tears streaked across his cheeks. "Are you alright?"

"Fine, fine. Just a nightmare, that's all."

He didn't look convinced. But Rose huffed and his attention was taken. He adjusted his hold on her little body, dwarfing her in the circle of his arms.

There was no fighting the thought. They fit too right together. This was what Karl would look like, as a father, if he had ever been given the chance.

---

"Did you," Ethan began but soon quit, the question heavier than he'd expected. His tongue was not up to the task.

"Did I? What?"

Karl who tinkered with a little metal toy for Rose did not even break to glance at him. He unscrewed a screw with his hand and it floated from his fingers and idled by his head. Ethan sat with the discomfort of the question coiled inside him. How to ask such a thing? 

"Ethan, spit it out."

"Did you ever want a child?"

Karl paused. The screw rotated round and round, and his teeth and the corners of his mouth moved like he would have liked to be smoking. Ethan knew very little of Karl's life before Mother Miranda's influence. Only what little he'd been told and what little more could be built through conjecture. A factory inherited meant a father to bequeath it. Ethan didn't know much of inheritance, but he did know well enough about the expectations of fathers.

"What I wanted." Karl scoffed and shook his head. "Who cares what I wanted? Shit. A child? Who knows?"

"My dad wanted me to marry young. Settle down."

"And look where that got you. I think the most my father expected out of me was to knock a girl up out of wedlock and ruin the family business. Joke's on him, of course. The world ended for us before I could manage either." He rubbed the bridge of his nose and peered at Ethan past the rim of his glasses. "Why? What brought this up?"

"You're good with Rose. A natural. I just - it was a thought I had. That's all."

The toy and its screws and parts spun back into place, resolving into a recognizable shape. It was a monkey made of brass and tin, with arms that wound on a dial, and polished black nail heads for eyes. Ethan couldn't recall having bought it. Nor could he imagine any shop from where it might have come. 

Karl sighed.

"I guess - well, isn't it what every man wants? A pretty wife and a litter of kids. I'm no different."

---

"Oh, fuck - !"

Ethan shuddered through an orgasm, on his back and Karl rutting over and into him. His thighs and legs quaking, jerking - first through the weak spurting pleasure of his peak and then from the overwhelm, of having come and Karl not relenting. He whined and Karl laughed and kissed his slack mouth and screwed his thick wide cock into Ethan's ass, holding him still by the hips when Ethan jerked and tried to lift himself away.

"Where are you going, huh?"

"Nowhere, fuck, please come - "

"You want that? Want me to fill you up?"

"Yes, yes - !"

"Fuck - "

Karl gripped him, held him like a doll, slammed against him and stuttered and came. He stayed wet and slowly softening inside Ethan's body, rocking against him, holding him. Pressing bristly, wet kisses to Ethan's sweat-slick hair and forehead. Handsome, Ethan thought, and then, dangerous - Karl leering like a predator above him, face framed by the fall of his gray hair.

Gradually the rocking stilled. Karl unwound Ethan's arms from his neck. Then came dislodging his cock from the mess he had made of Ethan's body. Ethan hissed at the raw tender agony when the blunt head slipped out of him, catching briefly at the rim; followed then by the shameful trickle of lubricant and spend. 

"No, not on the sheets," he groaned, agonized, thinking of laundry. But Karl only grinned and kissed him and rolled Ethan onto his stomach. 

"It's fine. Be quiet, now. Let me enjoy this."

Ethan huffed against the pillows. Still he listened, laying quiet, while Karl held his still swollen cock in one fist and let the wet leaking head drag over Ethan's fuck-loosened hole. 

"Beautiful," he said. "Looks like I fucked a cunt into you."

Ethan winced. Felt a flush of heat that spilled red over his cheeks and shoulders. The tips of his ears as well he'd guess by the sly way Karl laughed.

"You like that, Winters? Knew you could be a bitch, but - "

"Stop," Ethan said. Skin burning, throat burning, stomach dropping to his knees. All familiar consequences of the cruelties meted out to him when he and Karl played these kinds of games. This was and was not the same. Surely he didn't - it wasn't true. Karl was only winding him up. Still. Karl's words - and his insistence, his confidence, his knowing what Ethan liked - dredged some latent want out of him even now. He tried the taste of it. Karl had fucked his cunt. Well. His spent cock twitched.

"Fuck that. You know what you say if you want to stop." 

Karl grabbed him, covering his cock and his balls with one huge hand, Ethan's cockhead nudging up against the rough calloused palm. First the grip was only firm and the anticipation sent Ethan's breathing heavy. That and the way he fit so neatly there, how Karl could enshroud him completely. Then, a squeeze, the pressure enough to seize him, the pain like the pressing of a bruise.

"Karl, please - "

"A pretty pussy is nothing to be ashamed of." 

"No, no - "

"That why you ask if I wanted a baby, Ethan? You want to give me one?"

Christ. Red liquid heat pooled between his thighs.

"Karl - "

"Yeah. That's it, isn't it? Fuck. You'd look good pregnant."

Ethan jerked forward, rabbit-fucking the soft head of his dick into Karl's fist, whole body aching and alight. He could not come again, was not hard. Still dazing bolts of pleasure lit the whole inside of him, buzzing along his nerves, terrible and joyous. Karl tightened and then released his hold and Ethan shuddered, whining, loud enough that Karl shoved a hand over his mouth to quiet him and followed him as he collapsed on his back into the skin-warmed bedsheets and the wet mess that had leaked from his hole.

"Do you think she heard?" Ethan whispered.

"Shhh."

They laid together in the tense quiet, waiting. No sound came from the rest of the house. A sigh, then, shared between them. Blessed relief. Then:

"I don't want to sleep in the wet spot."

"Christ. Quit your bitching."

Karl moved him and kissed him again, rolling then to his feet. He padded nude from the room. Soon after came the sweet thick stink of tobacco smoke curling from the kitchen to the bed. Now the haze and euphoria of the pain had fully passed, Ethan dragged his fingers through the cooled filthy mess on his stomach. Inside, beyond the dull ache of having been fucked, he felt strange and hollow. He pressed his hand into his stomach. Dreamed he felt a heartbeat drum back against his fingers.

---

Put a baby in you. Knock you up. Breed your tight little cunt. When they had the time to fuck this was what came tumbling out of Karl's mouth more often than not, said with the indulgent tone of a parent. Ethan, reluctant to encourage this behavior, nonetheless came like a punch to the sternum every time he did it. 

At least Karl seemed similarly affected. He had begun to spend long moments of their post-coital bliss prodding into the warm mess of Ethan's insides, shoving his spend back into Ethan's hole and plugging him with his thick fingers. Karl had claimed space for himself in Ethan's life and in his ass; now it seemed he was just as intent on claiming space in Ethan's belly. All of it was absurd - and yet. He found himself often drifting toward the dream of a child. Tugged along by the heady pull of shared fantasy.

"I think you could," Karl said one night, knuckle-deep in Ethan's ass, pinky and ring finger folded against his perineum while index and middle finger rutted without mercy towards the throbbing heat of his core. Mindless, writhing and leaking against the sheets, Ethan was unsure he'd heard him correctly or if he had spoken at all.

"Wh - what?"

"Think you could get knocked up."

Hunger welled behind his teeth.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" He spasmed weakly around Karl's fingers. "It's just - Karl, it's a fantasy. That's all."

"I'm serious. Ethan, you aren't human. You aren't even like me. Similar but - not the same. We don't know what makes you tick."

"I can't - I can't think right now - "

Karl tucked his fingers deep and Ethan whined, toes curling. The throbbing in his overtaxed thighs and in his fucked-open rim near indistinguishable from one another, all of it a mass of heat and ache and pressure that made his cock drip.

"You willed yourself into growing a new heart, Ethan. You don't think you could handle a womb?"

Insane. Impossible.

(As impossible as a man capable of manipulating metal with his mind. As impossible as a corpse kept moving through the influence of mold.)

Ethan clenched hard around Karl's fingers, whimpering and shaking as he came.

"Do you want that?" Ethan asked in the aftermath.

Karl grunted.

"I said it, didn't I?"

If it never worked… But Karl wanted a child. Deserved a child. Everything had been stripped from him. The least Ethan could do was try to offer him hope.

"How would we know if it even worked?"

"Shit, Ethan. We just keep trying until it takes."

---

"Oh fuck. Fuck."

Ethan groaned, his face shoved hard into the floor, jarred by the sudden pain unlinked from arousal that lasted until Karl wrapped one huge hand around his pathetic leaking prick and squeezed. A sharp lance of electric pain jolted him, making him spasm. Making his dick pulse against Karl's palm. 

"God, oh, fuck. It hurts."

"How bad? How bad does it hurt? You feel like you're dying?"

"No, no, no. Keep going."

Karl obliged him, digging two fingers past the grasping hot rim of his ass and fucking him, hooking inside, pulling him open and apart. The dull ache not as electrifying as the shame, the humiliation of it. Caught as he was by Karl, his strength, the thick heaving weight of him. Ethan could prevent nothing. He lay entirely at Karl's mercy, able only to roll into the drive of Karl's fingers, to thrust his own throbbing needful cock towards the floor in the absence of more substantial stimulation.

Karl lowered his chest down to rest against Ethan's back, making Ethan bear more of his weight. Ethan spread his legs, settled more firmly onto his knees and elbows. The extra weight was not comfortable but neither was it unbearable. He could breathe. Then the fingers inside of him hooked again and then twisted, tugging up towards Ethan's spine, dragging him up and open; he whined and his thighs and hips raised to try to follow, but Karl hunkered down atop him and he could not move, only take, his toes flexing against the floor. 

"Oh fuck, fuck, no, no - "

"No? Doesn't feel like no to me, baby. You're so wet."

"Karl, please, please."

Chuckling, Karl reared back, slipping his fingers out of Ethan's sore hole. He guided Ethan to lay on his back, then grabbed him by the thighs and dragged him across the floor until he was laying nearly against Karl's lap.

"Alright?" Karl asked, one hand resting in the crease of Ethan's leg, his thumb not touching Ethan's throbbing cock.

Ethan took a breath. The muscles in his legs ached and his face felt bruised and he could feel the weak fluttering of his hole. He felt small, hurt, ugly. Prey mammal bunkered down in the dark. Revulsion flushed through him, suffusing him with shame, with heat, and  Karl looked at him with such raw unhinged want that Ethan's eyes and his untouched cock both began to leak.

"Oh, darling." Karl touched Ethan's face. "Too much for you?"

Ethan shook his head.

"Good,” he said. “Good.” Smoothing his hands down Ethan’s cheeks. Cupping his chin. Ethan shuddered and a fresh wave of tears fell and caught on Karl’s fingers, sliding down and disappearing into the hair on his knuckles. “Christ. Love it when you cry. You look so pretty. Let's fuck that face for a while."

Karl got him to his knees again. The floor was hard beneath the bone and he could have asked for a pillow or one of the thin blankets from their bed but he didn't, neither did he want to speak nor did he want that comfort, however small. Ethan sat back on his haunches, waiting while Karl stood and peeled away his briefs.

Pretty, he’d said. Pretty. How could that be so? What could he look like, here on his knees at Karl’s feet? Only pathetic, lean, pale; the sparse hair on his belly and chest thin and blond, an unkempt wiry nest at his groin and an unimpressively average cock. Karl - Karl was so large. Yes, the huge purpled length of his cock, but the rest of him as well. Muscle packed beneath fat, a body that even before its corruption had seen labor, sweat, and few lean days. His soft belly and his chest covered in greying hair, his strong shoulders and arms, every inch of him thick. A body that could hold a man like Ethan down by the throat with the same grace and ease it took to rock his daughter back to sleep. (Privately, Karl was what he thought of when he thought even the word man. Deeper, darker still: the idle dream that if Mia had lived, Karl would have taken her from him; and what would he have been able to do but let him?)

“Open up,” Karl said, cock in his fist, stepping towards Ethan. Ethan obeyed and Karl pushed the wide silken head past Ethan’s lips and thrust to the back of his throat. The strike made him gag, made his eyes water. His hands flew to the tops of Karl’s thighs, but Karl said, “Keep them behind your back,” and he lowered them, and Karl said “Breathe, Ethan,” and he took a deep breath through his nose. After a few moments of stillness, Karl grasped him by the longer hair at the crown of his head and by the back of his skull. He pulled back, enough that his cockhead rested on Ethan’s tongue, then he thrust again, and again, until he found a rhythm of rutting that Ethan could take.

"Thinking happy thoughts, darling? Like how fucking good you'll feel once I've got my dick up you?"

Ethan gurgled, drool unspooling down his front. He had been. Karl felt so huge like this. He wanted that cock inside of him, breaking him apart. Another brutal thrust struck the back of his throat, then another angled towards his soft palette, and a bright terrible pain blotted out his thinking. He coughed and shuddered, and Karl held him down. His lips and his nose squashed flat against Karl’s belly, Karl’s dick fully in his throat. Ethan was aware only of the thunder of his blood in his ears and Karl’s soft, pleased murmuring and the exquisite pleasure of being choked. 

After hours - only seconds, truly - Karl let go of him and he tore himself away, breathing in great gulps of air. A viscous churned froth of spit and precome fell in strings from his gaping mouth. He had the absurd thought to be grateful that Chris had purchased a house with no carpet.

“Fuck, you look good,” Karl said. Ethan coughed again, struggling to blink the tears from his eyes. Karl stood tall and staring down at him, his expression black with hunger. 

“It’s time - ah, time to put a baby in me, right?” Ethan winced at his own awkwardness. But Karl only grinned and knelt to scoop Ethan up as though he weighed no more than Rose. 

“Hands and knees again,” Karl said as he deposited Ethan onto the bed. Ethan rolled to his stomach, complying. Behind him, Karl shifted the sheets and the blankets, then stood, then returned, his weight depressing the bed. Ethan heard a snap. A drizzle of cold lubricant poured over his hole, Karl’s hand resting firm on one of his cheeks. For a moment his heart seized and he thought Karl meant slide in his fingers instead of his cock and he opened his mouth to beg - and Karl mounted him in one smooth motion, covering Ethan’s body with his own, hilting his cock into Ethan’s ass from tip to root. 

“Oh, fuck - !”

“Yeah - !”

Too big. Too tight. Too much all at once. Karl’s hands held him by the hips, tight enough to bruise.

“You take dick so well,” Karl crooned near his ear. The tips of his long hair dragging across the back of Ethan’s neck. “Tight, though. Gonna have to fuck this cunt of yours open, baby.”

“I want - I want you to - ah, fuck - ” 

Ethan clenched and rocked while Karl began to establish a rhythm, deep slow strokes that made Ethan feel as though he were being hollowed out. He dropped down to his elbows, pressing his filthy wet face into his pillow. This angle made the already deep strokes feel deeper, and it made him feel like a whore. Face down, ass up, desperate and greedy for it.

“Karl, please. Please fuck me.”

Karl snapped his hips forward. Drove his cock in. Fucked Ethan just as he’d asked. Ethan thrust his own hand between his thighs, grasping at his half-limp cock. He’d begun to soften from the intensity of the penetration, but once he had himself in hand he filled out again to full hardness. His palm was dry; still it was good, Karl fucking into him and sending Ethan’s dripping cockhead to crash into the loose grip of his hand.

Arms wrapped around Ethan’s waist, his chest. A hand groped at his flat chest, pinching one of his nipples hard between index finger and thumb. He wanted it to stop and he wanted to twist away and instead he pushed desperately against Karl’s hand, gasping when Karl pinched him again. The pain grounded him. Set the orgasm back. He’d thought for a moment that he could have come like that, with just Karl’s cock in his ass and his own hand to rut against. Karl rolled his palm across one side of Ethan’s chest and drove hard into him and said, with a strange tone of contemplation, “Think you could do that too?”

“What?” Ethan said. “Do, do what?”

“Grow a pair of tits?”

Ethan gasped. Karl still running his hands over Ethan’s chest, though now with a greater sense of purpose. Exaggerating the curve of his fingers as though he were cupping flesh that was not there - cupping Ethan’s breasts - Christ. Could he? They didn’t know for certain that this would work, though they had agreed to try. Could he, though? Could he? The fire in Ethan’s belly roared. What would it be like, to sit in Karl’s lap, that thick cock lodged up inside of him, swollen tits and belly held in Karl’s wide hands? Ethan felt himself unraveling. The desire so strong. Tears pricking and welling in his eyelashes and threatening to fall. He couldn’t say it. (How could he say it?) 

“I don’t know, I don’t - ” 

“Bet you could,” Karl said. His hips stuttered.

“Karl, please - ”

“A nice set of swollen tits to nurse our baby girl. Fuck. Ethan.”

Karl wound an arm around Ethan’s collarbone, pulling him upright, forcing his back to arch. His other hand still holding Ethan’s tit. This angle changed the feel of being fucked, made it sharper, made it hurt. Ethan grasped Karl by one of his thick, hair-covered thighs, digging his fingernails into the skin when Karl thrust a certain way and stars shot up the curve of Ethan’s spine.

“Ready, baby? Ready to be my sweet girl? Gonna take this knot right up your ass.”

Yes, Ethan thought, dizzy and cock-drunk. Yes, please, yes. Karl rarely knotted Ethan. There wasn't time, usually, nor reason, and though Karl was not shy about this inhuman part of himself truthfully Ethan feared it. The size when it swelled - when first they had coupled Karl had forced Ethan's hand to the base of his cock while the bulb had begun to fill. Fascinated, horrified, Ethan held it. His fingers could not quite touch when circled around the widest part. He’d taken it before, he’d loved taking it, but a whisper in his skull had said it will ruin you and he couldn’t help but listen.

Karl grunted, the fat leaking head of his prick striking Ethan perfectly inside, again, again. Surely he would shake apart if he weren't so thoroughly mounted. He thrust once, twice, then instead of pulling back to let only the head and a few inches wallow and drain into Ethan’s ass, he pressed them together, chest to back and hips to hips, forcing the whole length of dick up into Ethan’s guts.

“Oh, fuck, fuck,” Ethan whined, struggling to move and pinned by Karl’s strength. He could feel it. The knot. Engorged and blood-hot and throbbing. Slow like a tanker Karl pumped his spend thick and wet into Ethan's ass, Ethan sore and sick with it. The knot expanding, plugging him up. Nausea passing over him in waves, punctuated by Karl's languid humping, his dribbling cock stirring and soaking Ethan's tender insides. His hands running flat down Ethan's flanks as though he were an anxious horse.

“Feel that?”

Ethan groaned. Full to the point he feared come would pour from his mouth.

“Yeah, fuck. I. I feel it.”

“That’s our baby.”

Karl dragged his knees against the bed to get closer, get his feet under him and press more deeply into his haunches and force his cock and the knot further down into Ethan's aching guts. He reached beneath Ethan and found his cock and engulfed it in one hand, pulling him off easily. Ethan came with a whimper, a sad smear of come dribbling onto Karl’s hand. He felt overheated and overfucked. Brain turned to mush. This is what I am, he thought, too aware of Karl’s cock still hard, still pouring into him. A cunt. A womb. Life shall thrive inside of me and when the time comes I shall birth it. 

Karl wiped his hand on the sheets beneath them. He took Ethan's hand and he placed both against Ethan's belly. To his horror, he was swollen. His belly distended. The skin bulged out, tight and hot. 

“Feel her, Ethan?”

Yes. Yes. The cold morning when Mia, fresh from showering, first noticed her baby bump, she had woken him and forced his hand to fit over the small prominence, that clump of cells caught in their slow process of dividing. It had felt just like this. 

“I feel her,” he said, breath hitching.

Karl shifted, sat back, brought Ethan with him into his lap. He eased them both down until they both laid on their sides, and he arranged their hips in a way that allowed Ethan to rest comfortably, the knot seated and not tugging against his sore rim.

“Can’t wait ‘til you start showing,” Karl said into Ethan's neck. His beard scraped, making Ethan’s stomach flutter. Hot humid breath bloomed against the fine hairs at his nape before Karl clamped down with his teeth and bit him.

“I’m not a chew toy,” Ethan said, instead of what if I never do?

“Look like one to me.”

“What kind of comeback is that?”

“The only one I can manage right now. Be thankful I can talk at all.”

It took nearly an hour for the knot to shrink enough that Karl could remove it. By then Ethan had begun to doze, eyes shut and his thoughts half in dream. The backs of his eyelids swimming with visions of a little girl, her head full of dark hair, who smelled like powder and like Karl. 

“Ethan,” Karl said, rousing him. “You ready?”

Ethan nodded. 

Karl eased his cock free from Ethan’s grasping body with a soft pop, and with it came a flood. Come gushed from Ethan’s sore, gaping rim. Karl cursed, tilted Ethan’s hips forward, eased him up onto a pillow. Still, the molten heat and then rapidly cooling crust of spend pooled into the crease where his ass met thigh, and around his balls, and dripped onto the sheets and down his spent cock. Another wave of sickness washed through him, cold and arresting, though this was accompanied not by another driving stab of Karl's dick or another fresh wave of Karl's spend but with a deep inner churning as though someone had reached into his guts and pulled. His hips ached with it. His legs. He was being emptied.

Karl bunched the top sheet up and began to mop at his ass, his thighs. It seemed to do little good. After a while he relented, balling the whole thing up and tossing it to the floor.

“Pretty sure this sheet set is fucked.”

“Oh no,” Ethan mumbled into the mattress.

---

Karl knotted him as often as they could manage. Slept with his ear pressed against Ethan’s belly. Ethan gained weight that seemed concentrated on his middle. He woke in the mornings plagued by nausea. His chest swelled and grew sensitive to touch.

“It might be nothing,” Ethan said. “I’m eating well. I’m getting older.”

Karl slotted himself behind Ethan, caught him up in his arms. Held him and pressed both his hands against the slight protrusion at his belly.

[lucky-draws]

thoughts and thinking tuesday: ocelot + smoking + other related waffle including some vague bbkaz words and sentences under here :

ok i always tend to draw ocie smoking cigarettes (and in fics i probably write him as smoking like a pack a day LOL), even though in canon we never actually see him do that (just lighting big boss' cigar which is so squeeee xD) (* gunshot *), but one of my vague reasons for that (apart from smoking being the general mgs character aesthetic + also a cloud of smoke fills up a bit of blank space in a composition LOL) is to sort of......emphasise the soldier part of him?

like i imagine my ocie as sort of somewhere in between the flashy plain clothes spy and the grittier military man, like i think he can and does fit into both worlds but fundamentally the battlefield is where he's most ummmm at home or alive or belongs or whatever, + i think the whole soldier thing of smoking a lot because a) boredom b) stress relief c) could die tomorrow so what's the point worrying abt lung cancer etc is something he picked up during his early spetsnaz days.

(and like mother like son too lol. in ww2 everyone smoked/troops were encouraged to do so + you can easily imagine the boss starting young too. (maybe she even smoked a pipe... that's a little hot i guess.))

so anyway yeah and also a lifetime of smoking fits in well with older ocelot's raspy (smexy xD) voice in mgs1 onwards lol.

ALSO. having said all that there's one important question that i have not mentioned and that's what kind of silly novelty lighters he might have had!! i asked mister google images and he showed me pictures of cowboy boot table lighters and this one is from like the 60s:

what if snake got it for ocie as a joke gift hehe squeeee etc etc .

but also both big boss + ocelot (+ kaz too maybe) could just have had those kinds of plain zippo lighters which end up being covered in each other's silly engravings over the years.

(something something you've left kaz behind and you're in your outer heaven now doing war plans and shit, and the 70s seem so long ago. but somehow you've still got a few little belongings and items from before the incident, such as an old lighter buried somewhere in your desk drawer in case you need a spare one - it's the one you used in the 70s, and it's got a few scorch marks on it but it's intact, still works - and the words that kaz scratched into it, in Japanese characters, are still there.

he'd done it while he was drunk - while you were both drunk, although at differing degrees of giggly - and you don't remember exactly where it was, just that you were sharing a tent somewhere in the jungle, as you were on so many nights back then.

he never told you what he'd written, and somehow you've never felt like translating it yourself - although you're not so dense that you don't have any ideas what it might say. but anyway - sometimes you accidentally come across it when you're searching in the desk drawer for something else, and you curse yourself every time for keeping it there, because the sudden wave of memories -

- of sea water and maté and sweat-soaked fatigues, of humouring him and his messy, coked-up kisses, and enjoying him the best the next morning when he's all bitchy with a hangover, eyes red and unhidden, hair uncoiffed and sticking to his forehead, and he's scowling, at even you -

- the wave of memories that hits you when you catch sight of it is so forceful, if only momentary. you probably should just get rid of it; you've got plenty of other lighters, and adam still takes it upon himself to light your cigars for you anyway - but somehow, you never do.)

[dragonnan]

This is faaaar from a complete list and will be spotty at best but I’ve been pondering MCU characters a lot as I’ve been getting slowly back to work on my mega-fic.  I LOVE minor head canons.  Simple stuff like favorite foods or what music they listen to or were they ever a smoker or whatever whatever.  So I’m gonna give myself the challenge of crafting some head canon and anyone else is very welcome to dive in! (some things are already established via canon)

~ Ethnicity ~ Faith ~ Smoker ~ Alcohol ~ Favorite food ~ Favorite cookie ~ Favorite animal(s) ~ Favorite music ~

Tony Stark:  Ethnicity: Mixed European-American-Jewish (he refers to himself as a “mutt”) Faith: “No thanks” being the initial answer but if he feels like opening up he’ll admit to believing there’s likely “something” out there but at the same time figures that “something” stopped caring about humanity a long long time ago.  Smoker?  Never liked cigarettes but smoked a few cigars when he was younger due to Obie’s influence.  He never was a big fan but wanted to fit in with his mentor.  Alcohol: Influenced both by his father and Obie, Tony started drinking hard liquor semi-regularly as young as 14 (his Dad let him try his first sip at the age of 6).  He pretty much sticks with Scotch or Bourbon but is not opposed to cheap beer at a ball game.  In fact the cheaper the better - a requirement for any self-respecting American.  Favorite food: hot dogs.  Neither one of his parents cooked.  Breakfast and lunch were whatever whenever for all three of them but dinner? You better be sure you were at that table before the plates were set down or you could go without (and Tony got a slap from his father when he’d observed that rule only seemed to apply to him).  But on the nights he was sent to his room, Jarvis would slip upstairs, later, with a sandwich or, on really rough nights, a couple of hotdogs.  Favorite cookie: Those Christmas wreath ones made with cereal and marshmallow with the cinnamon candies.  Favorite animal(s): he likes all animals but if he had to pick one for a pet he’d get an iguana.  Favorite music: well duh lolol.   

Stephen Strange: Ethnicity: Mixed European-American (borrowed from Benedict Cumberbatch’s ethnicity and adding the American) Faith: Originally atheist but now closer to Buddhist.  Smoker:  Never.  Even prior to becoming a sorcerer he has always been conscious of what he takes into his body; especially given the history of cancer on his mother’s side of the family.  Alcohol:  Wine, occasionally, though he isn’t really a social drinker per-say.  Favorite food:  The spicy shrimp and pork dumplings from a Thai place in Midtown.  Favorite cookie: Hmmm.... not a big sweets guy but he won’t turn away a few ginger-pecan cookies with coffee.  Favorite animal(s): dogs - unequivocally.  He had a border collie growing up on his family farm in Nebraska.  Favorite music: please don’t make this poor man actually have to choose.  

Steve Rogers: Ethnicity: Irish (as per comics) Faith? Irish-Catholic (as per the comics).  Smoker? Prior to the serum there was no way he could safely do so with his health issues.  After he started traveling with the performers all of the girls in the group smoked and he tried it out a few times but never developed a taste for it.  Alcohol: he drank A LOT - easy enough to do as it never had any real effect on him.  He enjoys scotch and bourbon (a taste he picked up from hanging around Howard Stark).  Steve seems to low-key always have the munchies (like most enhanced) and once Tony picked up on that there are always a variety of snacks scattered here and there throughout the compound (also of benefit for Bruce, Peter, Thor, and, later, Bucky).  Steve’s favorite foods typically remind him of his mother’s cooking.  While they’d never had much (especially after his father died) his mom could do a lot with limited supplies.  She used to make a fantastic meat pie with ground beef or tongue.  He hates SPAM.  They ate it in the Army, constantly, and just the smell will occasionally send him back to those days and not in a good way.  Favorite cookie?  Oreos.  He can clean up a family sized pack in like 10 minutes.  Steve loves animals but is especially fond of horses and dogs.  There was a dog in his unit in WW2 and Steve, like most of the other men, would share bites of his rations with it.  Steve is nostalgic about music from the 40s but finds that 70s rock really resonates with him.      

Bucky Barnes: Ethnicity: Romanian-American (borrowing a little from Sebastian Stan’s ethnicity) Faith? Possibly agnostic.  Smoker? Heck yes - both cigarettes and cigars.  Like Steve, the serum he received (via Hydra’s experimentation) means he gets to dodge the detrimental side effects of smoking.  Alcohol: He likes to drink but is almost exclusively a beer drinker.  He has a big appetite but refuses to eat around others if he can at all help it.  His favorite food is corned beef with cabbage.  Steve’s grandmother was an Irish immigrant and would make it every Sunday before the war impacted rations.  Since both Bucky’s parents were dead he’d often have dinner with his best friend.  Also, unlike Steve, he actually likes SPAM.  But then, arguably, he isn’t terribly picky about food in general.  Favorite cookie: molasses.  Favorite animal(s): birds - eagles in particular - though he doesn’t look too deeply at the psychology of their ability to just fly away.  Needless to say a crafty observer might spot a former Winter Soldier tossing seeds towards the pigeons.  Favorite music: He’s pretty eclectic though he shies away from anything too loud like death metal.  He finds classical very soothing.       

Peter Parker: Ethnicity: Mixed American-Scandinavian-German-ish Faith: Protestant upbringing but unsure where he currently stands. If pressed he’d say he’s “leaving his options open” Smoker?  “Oh gross!” Alcohol: “Um, too young to drink, thanks! But if I WERE to... you know, try it just to taste it there was this mudslide at one of Flash’s parties that was super good...” Favorite food: spaghetti and meatballs.  Lots of meatballs.  Favorite cookie: chocolate chocolate chip with chunks.  Favorite animal(s): NOT spiders.  And NOT birds given how many rooftops he’s traversed layered in pigeon ick.  He’d probably say cats.  Favorite music: The B side of techno rock - especially Depeche Mode.

Peter Quill: Ethnicity:  Half mixed American and half celestial.  Faith: His Dad was a god and he killed him so he figures he probably isn’t on the best terms with the Big G God should He... or She... or Them... be out there.  Look he just wants to do his thing and cause a little trouble without mixing it up with any other celestial types but if they DO wanna throw down he’d like to point out that he’s 1 for 1 and willing to rumble.  Smoker: He would not say no to a really good cigar and may have possibly lifted a case from Yondu’s stash when he struck out on his own.  Alcohol:  Anywhere any time and in large quantities.  Favorite food:  A thick steakhouse bacon burger with potato chips right on the patty.  Extra cheese please!  Favorite cookie: He’s a simple guy with simple tastes.  classic chocolate chip no frills no fuss and fresh from the oven.  Favorite animal(s):  He likes dogs - who doesn’t like dogs?  But he really likes cows.  Just maybe don’t mention the burger thing.  Favorite music:    

Thor: He’s a Norse god of legend so I figure we can forego the ethnicity/faith questions lol.  Smoker: He has never understood this human custom nor has he felt any inclination to try it himself  Alcohol: Beer, mead, and anything capable of knocking him on his ass.  Favorite food:  chili with ghost peppers.  Though nowhere near as hot as the fire chilies of Muspelheim (which would be instantly fatal for humans so its just as well).  Favorite cookie: strawberry cheesecake with macadamia nuts.  Favorite animal(s):  It’s a tossup between bilgesnipe and whales.  Favorite music:  The mighty horns of battle!  He also enjoys old school country, much to Tony’s disgust.  The story aspect of that music is what appeals to him.

Bruce Banner: Ethnicity: Italian-American  Faith: Catholic in his childhood; currently Atheist or maybe agnostic.  Smoker: He tends to avoid any substances for, you know, obvious reasons.  Alcohol: See previous.  Favorite food:  Waffles with sliced mango.  Favorite cookie: Oatmeal.  Favorite animal(s):  Mantis shrimp - “did you know they can generate so much power in their attacks that they can briefly super-heat the water up to 7,700 °C??”  Favorite music:  Indian- especially Krishna Bhajan.    

Clint Barton: Ethnicity:  Mixed European-American and Panamanian.  Faith:  His parents were both Protestant but he’s never latched on to any specific faith and hasn’t really devoted a lot of thought on the matter.  He has a sorta loose idea of “maybe something out there” but that’s all the further he’s gotten on the subject.  What he tells anyone who asks it’s that his religion is coffee.  Smoker: Briefly when he was a teen.  Alcohol:  Beer - he’s a fan of dark lager.  Favorite food:  Coney Island dogs, Pizza, and pickle flavored potato chips.  Favorite cookie:   Monster cookies with the mini M&Ms.  Favorite animal(s): Dogs  Favorite music:  80s rock and some country.

Natasha Romanoff: Ethnicity:  Russian.  Faith:  She was not given much choice when younger and was raised as “state atheist” (per comics).  In the years since escaping that life, however, she has tried to discover more about herself.  Her parents were both Russian Jewish and there has been a pull to discover more about that faith - especially since meeting Wanda - who is Jewish.  Smoker:  No.  Alcohol: Some vodka - that’s a given.  But she actually prefers wine; and honestly her favorites are wine spritzers.  Favorite food:   Favorite cookie: Krumkake filled with creme and berries.  Favorite animal(s): Favorite music:  Overall she listens to a pile of little-known bands and whomever is playing at whatever bar in whatever city she happens to be in.  She also is a huge fan of old school Spice Girls.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [Okay, so 'punishment' of cleaning everyone's rooms, like 1. you've been here a night, so how messy is anyone's gonna be 2. we're here for a long weekend vibe, does it need to be clean even as long as it is before you go, like? 3. you've left them alone without effectively any supervision when they being punished for canoodling, like alright lads lmao] Jimmy: What kind of bollocks paddy punishment is this? Jimmy: barely started and I've got 🚬 and 💰💰 Janis: the 'can't be arsed' variety Janis: nice Janis: only found some pocket change so far but saving the best rooms 'til last Jimmy: race you Jimmy: only need 💊 and 🥃 to have the ☠ full set Janis: alright, you're on Janis: what pills count though, important info, not agreeing if you're counting paracetamol, like Jimmy: You're the expert Janis: you what Jimmy: from 💀👑's shit stirring mouth to my ears Janis: she'll LOVE that you listen, I'm sure Jimmy: properly well trained, me Jimmy: go ahead and tweet that whenever you like, mate Janis: if you wanna make her jizz her pants, easier ways than using my feed for it Jimmy: yeah, that's TOTALLY what I want, obvs Janis: 🚬💰💊 and 🥃 first, I heard Janis: speaking of, how morally dubious is it to take Helena's meds? Jimmy: I'll keep the 🍫🍪🍬 I just found in my pockets, make it easier to fake that I'm pleased to see her Jimmy: reckon you're morally obligated to take 'em, Jesus is the only dickhead who saves Janis: 🐖 you, running through these halls Janis: I'll take 2, feeling generous, not greedy, unlike SOME Jimmy: Come get a 🍪 and save me from myself 😇🥇 Janis: if that's a nickname you wanna go with, I'll need 2, tah Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: 🐖💕 Janis: no, that's you Jimmy: I ain't the one with a 🍪 in each hand Janis: your pockets are just full, fatty Jimmy: Oi, I'm pleased to see you, Joanne Janis: not fooling me Janis: in on the secret, remember Jimmy: bit busy chucking water on Kieran's bed any road Janis: 😏 Janis: more like it Jimmy: I'll take my 🏆 full of 🥃 if you find owt Janis: I'll be SURE to let you know when I do 🤞🤞 Jimmy: you do owe me Jimmy: it were your fault it got taken off us Janis: How do you figure that? Jimmy: Who left it on top of the wardrobe for any dickhead to 👀? Janis: oh, where did you expect me to put it mid-performance? Jimmy: I wouldn't have let you sit on it if you'd left it where it were, not a kink Janis: 😂 you're DISGUSTING Jimmy: who's bed should I put this in? Jimmy: [a pic of the bra that I'm stealing from the OG convo] Janis: put it in Ben's Janis: his bird will lose her shit the hardest, be hilarious Jimmy: Which one's he? Janis: come find you and show you Janis: not actually told me what room you're in so Jimmy: do you wanna know? Janis: you mean am I having fun playing hide and seek? Jimmy: it's a valid question Janis: are you having fun then? Jimmy: Where's your answer? Janis: 🔍 Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: more fun than the bullshit activity they're all doing, no doubt Jimmy: There you go then, if you're happy, I'm happy, baby 💕 Janis: 🙄👏 Janis: screenshotted Jimmy: reckon we can do better than that if you ever find me, but alright Janis: long as it's not bragging about our crimes, can't be those idiots Jimmy: but what if our crime were fucking on 💀👑 or 💀#2 bunks? Janis: well, depending how graphic, that can definitely be posted, 'course Jimmy: only to her if it spares your 😳 Janis: Show me a point I've given a fuck Jimmy: You ain't talking to her and her receipt keeping minions, soz Janis: Exactly Jimmy: Where the fuck are you? Janis: was trying something, no cigar though Janis: you in their room then? one sec Jimmy: Go on, disappoint me, what couldn't you do? Janis: get in the teacher's rooms, they've got locks 😢 Jimmy: you can't break 'em? Hang on 💪🏆 Janis: [turns up and finds him, throwing whatever cigarettes and lighters she's found at him 'cookies, please'] Jimmy: [when he was gonna find her and vandalise the teacher's locks so they lowkey nearly bump into each other but he chucks the cookies at her before there's a #moment] Janis: [just nom-ing like there isn't a vibe, as per 'was saving their room 'til last, bet there's loads of rich girl shit'] Jimmy: [brushing a cookie crumb off her face with his thumb and then putting said thumb in his mouth to get said crumb 'gotta show me Ben's first'] Janis: [just stopping dead in your tracks for a hot sec there like you were stopping yourself running into his arm but that ain't why, nods 'he deserves it'] Jimmy: [we just walking so casually to this lad's room to fuck up his relationship lol] Janis: [soz not soz, whoever you are] Jimmy: [go and do #bragate and look through his shit lads] Janis: [the state these rooms gonna lowkey be in, so much worse than before] Jimmy: [I vote he should have some booze of some description so they have it when they go to Mia's room cos gonna be in there a while] Janis: [I concur] Jimmy: [when you shrug at her once you're done like anywhere we've missed cos should save hers til last] Janis: [points out the rooms she did so they can work out if they've missed any between 'em] Jimmy: [likewise tells her the ones he did and maybe they have missed one and there's nothing good but they can have an actual race to Mia's that she obviously wins] Janis: [😏 as we snooping with reckless abandon] Jimmy: [chucks some 🍬s at her with gold wrappers in place of a 🥇] Janis: ['you're buzzing to lose, remember' looks at the beds pointedly, then carries on going through their bags] Jimmy: [lights a 🚬 because fuck you ladies] Janis: ['what about me?' so #offended] Jimmy: [gives her a look like I didn't think you'd want one cos you're such an athlete but comes over and lights one for her, putting it in her mouth and everything cos always gotta be flirty about it] Janis: ['one ain't gonna get me as fucked as you, cute though, concern and that'] Jimmy: [makes a moment™ out of putting some of the ones they found into her pocket as well as his lighter that she was playing with before, not just a random spare and goes to lie down on the bottom bunk for a bit] Janis: [just leaves him be for a while, keeping busy over here, all casual, all fine, eventually, 'if you're going sleep, do your best to look cute so I can take some creepshots 'fore I piss off'] Jimmy: [just having his lil sulk cos he lost 'weren't the plan, that' and pats the bed beside him in his best attempt at creepy but then starts putting out all the shit he found to look through it] Janis: [best 😬 but goes over and adds her haul] Jimmy: [cracks open the booze whatever it is and takes a massive swig before passing it to her] Janis: [doing the same, throwing those two tablets out on the bed, like, offer is there 'she must be fucked up' shrugs 'decent shit'] Jimmy: [sharing everything else out like actual couple goals but leaving them cos he ain't that bitch] Janis: [when you ain't either so that's a #relief tbh] Jimmy: [lifts the pillow and puts them under cos that gal is gonna notice her meds are gone so might as well try and frame these bitches] Janis: [so into that it's not even funny lol] Jimmy: [then nudges her like which bed do you think is Mia's cos that's the one you wanna fake fuck on if you're doing only one] Janis: ['how's either of them getting up there, honestly' put gets up and peers for clues 'think this is Ella's, the PJs are negative sized, Mia wishes'] Jimmy: ['she wishes she were a top an' all'] Janis: ['so you are gay then' 😏] Jimmy: [😏 and chucks loads of 🍬🍫 up onto Ella's bed so either she'll be triggered or Mia will think they're hers and be mad or both] Janis: [gonna say you got some laxatives I'm flushing gals, along with pouring whatever expensive perfume/foundation etc down the loo, at least half of so you can't prove it 'cos it's not empty] Jimmy: [love that] Janis: [you both know you're delaying what you said you'd do though] Jimmy: [I'm literally sitting here thinking if there's a way we could let them actually hook up rn for the sheer #mood of it all without ruining everything lol] Janis: [like you could, and then pretend it didn't happen, maybe?] Jimmy: [that's what I'm thinking like if you both act like you're carried away by getting one over on Mia and drunker than you are, I just think it'd add to the weird dynamic and headfuck of it all if they did] Janis: [it's in character for her so if it is for him, we can] Jimmy: [like we know he wants to and would so as long as they both commit to acting like it didn't happen I think we can get away with it] Janis: [we doing it, gonna have to start talking if you're gonna get there though, lads] Jimmy: [lbr it'd we weirder if they didn't hook up at this point cos they always go too hard for the 'camera' and they don't have sod all clothes on yet again so they're gonna feel EVERYTHING when they're making out and dry humping all over each other, it'd literally only take something like that thing he does where he tries to say words and it comes out as a full moan to tip them over this precarious edge] Janis: [exactly, it only doesn't happen in this scenario if one of you is the type to say no for reasons or you don't actually fancy each other but you clearly do so] Jimmy: [we setting up both phones for all the angles as if you're not gonna forget about that immediately] Janis: ['least bottom bunk makes for #moodlighting, I guess'] Jimmy: ['more of a challenge to for us to break it though' because I remember in the OG convo they lowkey dismantled her bed and they should do that here because funnier] Janis: ['as long as you keep the top from squashing me with your giant head' we deffo should, a mood] Jimmy: [squishes her face like aw baby I will protect you, you small egg] Janis: [goes to smack his but as per, not actually lmao] Jimmy: [little playfight/pillow fight to get this tension going] Janis: [points if you can beat the stuffing out of these pillows] Jimmy: [you gotta lads and also leave your empty booze bottle hidden about in the hopes they get blamed for that too] Janis: [when neither of you are cool enough to party this hard, welcome for the rep boost hoes] Jimmy: [1000% living for the prospect of Mia getting in trouble with her dad though bye] Janis: [hahahahaaaaaha #disappointeddaddy] Jimmy: [that's a pisstaking # they need to use fr] Janis: [speaking of the socials, making sure there's Mia things in the background so you can start taking these shots like they bitch] Jimmy: [not actually stalling that time, it's genuinely important] Janis: [tis why we're here, currently, anyway] Jimmy: [crack on doing the most, you know you gotta go even harder than you did during the last photoshoot purely to annoy these hoes yep] Janis: [the level anything beyond making out/lovebites is unpostable, like do you need all these angles and different poses? nope but here we are] Jimmy: [like even if you just DMed them to her to ruin her ability to sleep in that bed you still don't need to go this hard lads] Janis: [could let her do the legwork lmao, we see you] Jimmy: [I love you two and your flimsy excuses so much] Janis: [hence this is so stretch] Janis: *NO Jimmy: [imagine if he'd fake dated some gal who literally only wanted to do the bare minimum] Janis: [an actual prude or the one girl that didn't fancy him] Jimmy: [he thought Janis didn't for a bit there LOL] Janis: [she got eyes honey] Jimmy: [LORD the eye contact rn don't even] Janis: [looking away when you literally cannot and ruining a shot or something neither of you actually care about but] Jimmy: [and kissing when you also cannot so your eyes get to be closed because you're not psychos] Janis: [literally running out of skin for lovebites] Jimmy: [hence you gotta hardcore make out and once you start you can't stop] Janis: [away we go] Jimmy: [this is simultaneously the best and worst idea lads, love it] Janis: [knocking those phones down 'cos do not need that in your life, even if we pretending this is that spontaneous] Jimmy: [accidentally recording their first time that they are gonna pretend didn't happen is not the one] Janis: [because Rio is your sister, purely, which is why she said no to being in the ad 'cos she thought he was being a dick and everyone else would] Jimmy: [I didn't even think about that in relation to the ad, oh boo you so smart] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [if you two have been shook by how into each other you are, just you wait until after this 🔥 first time] Janis: [have fun downplaying this lmao] Jimmy: [god it's gonna be so awkward, at least we can have a teacher show up to take them to the next activity whenever we need] Janis: [when you can't separate 'cos the image but you can tell you being more distant and actually fake] Jimmy: [the next activity was trust falls and a blindfolded assault course which I think we should still do but we should do it different by saying they aren't allowed to work together for it cos bad eggs which they would hate despite the awks cos they both have trust issues and would be shamelessly jealous of the boy and girl the other is doing it with] Jimmy: [plus it makes more sense for the next bit cos in the OG they just went back on it later when nobody else was about and like he challenged her to do it better cos she was the blindfolded one I think and that's how she twisted her ankle which led to the fake injury but if they weren't allowed to do it together then it's more logical that all that would happen] Janis: [well done boo, fully approve] Jimmy: [yeah she was all like I could do it by myself I don't need you which can still be a thing but there's even more of a vibe this way] Janis: [a mood, lord knows who you're having to do this with first time around] Jimmy: [I think she should have to do it with Ben whoever he is for the lols] Janis: [oh ben, as long as your gf doesn't think it's her bra 'cos lmao] Jimmy: [we should give him Asia since they didn't do that project together this time] Janis: [she will probably drop you god speed] Jimmy: [we should say she does so Janis has to be all #concerned which is awks after what just happened] Janis: [after #caring for him] Janis: memorize that course before you do it Janis: no chance she knows left from right Jimmy: I ain't that thick, tah, I'll make her be the one to do it Janis: revenge, right Jimmy: you're alright, in well safe hands, you Janis: yeah, his girlfriend is neurotic, had practice Jimmy: safe hands til she gets hers on you then Janis: if I have to threaten to smack her too, I will Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: just don't wanna be dropped on my arse like you Jimmy: I get it, ain't gonna be a soft landing Janis: just don't like looking like a twat Jimmy: you'll look well fit and mysterious in that blindfold, mate, TOTALLY on brand Janis: obvious kink but alright Jimmy: long as it ain't Ben's Jimmy: 🐇🔪🍳 Janis: if it is she'll be blind too tryna win back his attention, not concerned Jimmy: 👍 Janis: need some 🧊? Jimmy: can only give me the cold shoulder on your own time, Judith Janis: haha Jimmy: hang in there, baby Jimmy: 😂 so you don't 😭 Janis: be able to hide 'em behind the mask Janis: your 'look' makes sense now Jimmy: Busted Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: you're gonna keep my secret? SO romantic that Jimmy: my trust has been fully restored, like Janis: not very goals Janis: you crying all the time Jimmy: works for sir Jimmy: he's having one now Janis: Ben's very capable and we're all feeling a type of way about it Jimmy: Capable of getting you sent to sick bay in some weird accident they'll use to warn dickheads not to piss about on school trips Jimmy: won't dry my eyes so I look 💔 Janis: I get it, you're feeling sore Janis: 🍑hurt Jimmy: I get it, you're the only one who's allowed to make me feel like that Jimmy: you're alright, I'll fake that I ain't Jimmy: we'll still be #goals Janis: bit late for that Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Janis: not with that braindeadweight Jimmy: Challenge accepted, sweetheart Janis: unless the race is to first aid, you've got no chance Jimmy: that's you Jimmy: but Ill let you wear my 🥇 if you ask nicely Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🙄 even less chance of that Jimmy: 💔🎻 Janis: poor boy Jimmy: Alright Mia, have you know I found loads of 💰 a bit ago Janis: shared it with me Janis: you ain't heard how the rich stay rich? Jimmy: I ain't afraid to pull my weight Jimmy: or teach you owt you don't know Jimmy: and you still ain't sorted out how to do cute so Janis: fuck off haven't I Jimmy: Have you? Jimmy: Don't count if you're using it on Ben Janis: not my fault they separated us Jimmy: how do you work that out? Janis: don't start again Janis: we both got in trouble that was the point Jimmy: Or what? You'll piss off with Ben to first aid Jimmy: crack on Janis: yeah, obviously Janis: this is stupid, you said you didn't care about getting in trouble, so don't moan at me now Jimmy: you said you didn't either so take your share of the blame, dickhead Jimmy: weren't being 😎🥇 on my own Janis: how am I not? Janis: you're trying to put it all on me for no reason Jimmy: nowt's your fault, you just said Jimmy: 😇 you Janis: that ain't what I said Jimmy: what I read Janis: whatever Janis: fact remains there's no time to be cute right now Jimmy: [does something cute to prove the point that there always is] Janis: go away Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: very cute Jimmy: you're right, you're smashing it Janis: there's no need Jimmy: don't sound like a cop out at all, that Janis: what, what do you want me to do Janis: because they chase around after boys, and that's sad, not goals Janis: I'm doing my part right Jimmy: nowt to get worked up about then, is there? Jimmy: sort yourself out, girl Janis: literally do one Jimmy: LITERALLY stop crying, meant to be on brand for me, not you Janis: [you need to ignore him gal] Jimmy: [take a time out Jimothy, we know why you're being a dickhead but it's still rude] Janis: [oh the drama] Jimmy: [do your best to get Asia round this course, we know it's gonna be a shitshow] Janis: [oh gal] Jimmy: [we should say they go back on their own when everyone's on lunch, it makes sense] Janis: [we gonna need to propose that but yes] Jimmy: [gotta be alone for that dramaaaaa] Janis: [wandering off 'cos cannot be bothered to do this lunch moment right now] Jimmy: ? Janis: can have a 🚽break, can't we Jimmy: long as you do it before so 💀👑 don't get her hopes up that you're joining the ranks Janis: don't need to, do I Janis: why you think she hates me Jimmy: I'm going for a 🚬 then, come find me if you wanna go in Janis: don't you need bed rest Jimmy: bit rude for a come on Jimmy: don't really get me going if you slag off my stamina Janis: it's a, let's not go in, plea, if anything Janis: say what you want for mine, I can't be arsed yet Janis: stressful enough training Ben for the past, however long Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: come have a 🚬 Janis: alright Jimmy: you not hungry? Janis: nah Janis: we eat loads Janis: 🍬🍫🍪 Jimmy: No need to go in then Janis: you can, if you are Janis: say I'm sick or sleeping or some other cute bollocks Jimmy: You're alright, already had my dose of ☠ Jimmy: wouldn't wanna 💀💀💀 without you by my side Janis: Obviously Janis: or in this dump Jimmy: unless it were on that assault course Jimmy: get everyone right in the shit Janis: good idea Janis: go back and I'll finish the job she half-arsed Jimmy: you admitting you ain't got me well trained either? Jimmy: nowt to worry about, I'll keep that secret with my dying breath Janis: didn't get chance, did I Jimmy: you're saying 💀💀💀 job done but if you were 🥇 I'd be in the safest hands going, wouldn't I? Janis: I could Janis: but maybe I want you to lay down in the dirt and 💀💀💀 Jimmy: Stop flirting with me Janis: you wish Jimmy: for 💀💀💀? Duh Janis: then go on then Janis: find a blindfold substitute Jimmy: always trying to get my clothes off, you Janis: maybe it makes you more interesting Jimmy: you waiting for me to disagree or what? Janis: dunno if bighead or 💔 Jimmy: while you're pissing about 🤔 I'm actually waiting for you here Janis: awh Janis: one of us has to, babe Janis: hold on Jimmy: funny and clever, fuck me, full package you are, girl Janis: DUH Janis: closest you're gonna get Janis: didn't know people as thick as Asia genuinely existed Jimmy: modest an' all Jimmy: her parents must be northern, giving her a name like that is a dead giveaway Janis: guess what her sisters are called Jimmy: Arabia and Altrincham, obvs Janis: truly not that far off Janis: America, another continent kinda, alright, then they realize they've run out so China Janis: 🎻 she'll have such a complex that one Jimmy: 💔 their last name ain't White Janis: 😏 Janis: [show up from wherever you've been freaking] Jimmy: [lights her a 🚬 cos she said she wanted one] Janis: [smoking that as we walk to this assault course] Jimmy: [keeping it casual and not at all awkward] Janis: [the vibe] Jimmy: [get to this assault course and immediately start messing about boy cos you're so 💪 obvs] Janis: [🙄 but using this 🚬 as an excuse to sit and 👀 on the low] Jimmy: [when you come and sit by her after a bit but that not close because you obviously are so unbothered] Janis: [shakes head 'stamina, who?'] Jimmy: [push her cos 1. oi 2. you have a go then] Janis: [gesturing to her cigarette like excuse me 'such a slave driver, you'] Jimmy: [takes it off her and takes a drag like well you've got no excuse now] Janis: [ugh-ing about it but going, without the blindfold moment first] Jimmy: [👀 shamelessly] Janis: [doing it backwards 'cos show-off like see, so easy] Jimmy: [such a sarcastic slow clap 'close your eyes and have a crack at it'] Janis: [🖕 'I remember being the one who did it well the first time, not you' ] Jimmy: ['weren't the fastest though, were you?' a fake sympathetic face cos at least Asia was one of the worst so like they fucked up the best #soreloserlogic] Janis: ['only because Sam and Lewis are so close they're like telepathic, not fair'] Jimmy: ['first place or nowt, baby' cos he's pretending that he's so fine with the nowt because Asia just to wind Janis up like she's yet again crying] Janis: ['for you, maybe' L on the forehead moment] Jimmy: ['don't need telepathy to know you're -' 💔 mime 'and they ain't about now, what's your next excuse gonna be?'] Janis: [just doing this like fuck you boy] Jimmy: [putting a timer on his phone and waving said phone at her] Janis: [that phone lowkey your enemy, so shaming you have to fall al soz about that] Jimmy: [when you're so genuinely scared that she might be hurt that you can't be a dick about it and literally rush over to help her up] Janis: [we are so fuming boy watch out] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ARE YOU OKAY TELL ME because very concerned] Janis: [when you're so stubborn and 😤 just hobbling away like no good day] Jimmy: [catching up to her easily obvs and trying to force her to lean on you for support/ go sit for a sec] Janis: ['I'm fine!'] Jimmy: ['stop being a dickhead, you'll fall again'] Janis: ['I wasn't being a dickhead, that's you'] Jimmy: ['you are now' helping her whether she likes it or not] Janis: ['don't talk to me'] Jimmy: [picks her up and takes her to where they were sitting before without saying a word of course and puts her leg up on him because you're meant to elevate it] Janis: [just grumbling about how ridiculous this is, but mostly to self] Jimmy: [just giving her time to calm down cos obvs he's gonna take her back but not til she's ready cos they might have to see people] Janis: [give you some time gal, then you just sat there pouting but not as seething] Jimmy: [taking her shoe off for her really gently because you don't know how much it hurts or not/if it's gonna swell up and you know she's not gonna tell you how bad it is or isn't] Janis: ['alright, perv' but we winced a bit so you know it does hurt some] Jimmy: [😏 but his 👀 are worried] Janis: ['at least I don't have to do any more activities' but low-key annoyed about that like why am I here lmao] Jimmy: ['they'd have to let me help you, if you insisted you did wanna do 'em' because same vibe as when they talked him back onto activities after they sent him to his room, we know what teachers be like 'could be very goals'] Janis: [shrugs 'guess so' leaning forward to inspect your foot yourself 'you just don't wanna be left alone with Asia'] Jimmy: [playfully nudges her but we all know it turns into that feelsy lean they do] Janis: [letting it be but you are the one to shrug him off 'it's not that bad' sighs 'no excuse to talk to Mia's dad, still'] Jimmy: [can't help a little genuine amused smile 'have to fake it's loads worse' when you're joking for the benefit of Mia's dad rn but that is what they're gonna do lol] Janis: ['why not? LOVE sympathy, like'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like are you serious or nah cos we could] Janis: [we thinking about the potential benefits here like hmm 'taking away attention for #2 has it's appeal, sure'] Jimmy: ['and I can do sympathy in a way you'll like' when that sounds way saucier than you meant it to] Janis: [lols like that is purely bants and such a horrific prospect you haven't even considered it at all seriously 'I won't like it, but they'd LOVE it, so it's worth doing'] Jimmy: [shrugs like that's what you meant anyway] Janis: [shrugs back like you suggested it don't get moody with me] Jimmy: [shakes his head because he's not and he doesn't wanna fight with her rn but then picks her back up and carries her away before she can potentially pick a fight, only stopping when they get back to be like gesturing with his head do you wanna go in the direction of the lunch room and put on a show IRL or the sickbay to put on a show via posts on socials or her room to do none of those things] Janis: [gesture for the sickbay, 'cos it's more dramatic and you still don't wanna go do the lunch room rn for all the reasons] Jimmy: [we taking her and getting her some ice with a playful look because of how she took the piss out of him saying he needed some earlier] Janis: [grump 😒] Jimmy: [when you can actually do the pouty lip kiss thing for the first time because we gotta do socials posts] Janis: [when that's too much of a mood] Jimmy: [we're all dying and wanting to die] Janis: [doing it again purely 'cos you mad, not so he has to do that again, nah] Jimmy: [does do it again though because that hook up was no time ago and we're very much not over it] Janis: [I highly doubt there's a nurse, just someone who comes to do your first aid then bounces so you know, get into it] Jimmy: [fully just having a makeout sesh that you literally have no excuse for] Janis: [we need to, tbh] Jimmy: [I'm loling because it reminds me of when Ali twisted her ankle going up the mountain cos she was so 😍 for Carly especially because of all the posts he's gonna do on socials to milk this, suck it Ella, nobody cares that you got 'hurt']] Janis: [lmao, it is like that, soz you can't regale us like a cringe mum 'cos not on them good terms currently even though you'd all be slightly better 'cos your mum really held it down for all y'all soooo, yeah not even Mia cares, HOW MUCH DOES THAT HURT] Jimmy: [at least Janis can let Jimothy do all the work posting cos you so injured babe and he can be busy with that so y'all don't hook up again] Jimmy: [though would make lol if you two went insta live from sick bay] Janis: [Q&A 'bout the situation lmao go off] Jimmy: [everyone has a million questions about your everything rn we know] Janis: [and we need to feel like we back on top of faking this, right] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [going through her phone beforehand to see if there's any burning Qs] Jimmy: [when you just chuck her yours cos cba and also got that trust™] Janis: [🙄 'you do your share of the work, yeah?' 😏] Jimmy: [🙄 but you hold your hand out for your phone back cos #whipped] Janis: [shakes head, shows him Ben's girlfriend popping off 'cos that bitch like LOL] Jimmy: [pats her on the back IRL like good job babe cos genuinely amused] Janis: ['gutted I ain't gonna get him without a fight, obviously'] Jimmy: ['if you can't take her on with one good leg, you don't deserve him'] Janis: [😲 'how dare you'] Jimmy: ['I dare 'cause I don't give a shit, remember'  yeah okay Jimothy we know you're a rebel without a cause calm down 'nowt's too much trouble'] Janis: ['put it on your business card you now know how to make'] Jimmy: [😏 'nice bit of labour red font, and what do you know, colour of blood an' all, proper on brand that'] Janis: ['have to try again if you want to draw blood, bastard'] Jimmy: ['and you'll have to ask nicer if you want me to join your ranks, vampire girl'] Janis: ['think not, hot topic'] Jimmy: ['What the fuck is hot topic?' he's genuinely like ?] Janis: [😂 and not telling him like look it up and feel the burn on your own time, boy] Jimmy: [poking her which turns to tickling her like tell me] Janis: [shall never even if we reinjure ourselves rn] Jimmy: [casually a good place to start the stream though like oh are we live already oops we're just here living our best lives] Janis: [having a better time than all of y'all always] Jimmy: [making sure to lowkey be nursing her through this stream cos she's oh so injured and he's oh so attentive #hoesbejealous] Janis: [fight every instinct you have girl, pretend you loving it and be SO appreciative] Jimmy: [we making it look so casual like oh lemme prop your ankle up a little more, lemme get you another pillow for your head, lemme get you some water, no it's okay you answer this question brb] Janis: [#anatural because you raising your siblings that's the tea, LOVE to know how these questions are going] Jimmy: [that is the tea even if she's lowkey like why's he so good at this the weirdo #kinks] Jimmy: [but we know this is going brilliantly cos they are both funny fucks and bringing the chemistry] Janis: [yeah you have no idea beyond how he portrays himself as being so good at all this stuff and you can't question that without outing yourself so you shan't obvs] Janis: [probably a solid mix of bitchiness and perviness tbh] Jimmy: [when lunch can't last forever and you have to decide if you're going to whatever the afternoon activity is or if just he's going and she's staying there or you're staying together or what] Janis: [I say she better stay so it seems legit but you should go and pine sir] Jimmy: [not even fake we 👀 you boy] Janis: 🤞 you get teamed with someone with two braincells this time Jimmy: you'd have to cross more than that Jimmy: nowt but idiots about round here Janis: you and her are soulmates Janis: A* couple Jimmy: Tah, I'll get in her DMs and let her know you reckon so Janis: go for it Janis: honestly, probably the only thing that'll deter her Janis: inability to fuck me over 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: Woe's you is the #mood over here, mate Jimmy: 🏆 for staying on brand Janis: so you're gonna fatally wound me and then take the piss? nah Jimmy: if I were gonna fatally wound you, you'd be 💀💀💀 Jimmy: didn't push you off or owt Janis: be nice to me to their faces at least Janis: story change so quick Jimmy: [does some extra post about how much he misses her etc] Jimmy: alright? Janis: 👍 Janis: 🏆 for staying on brand Jimmy: not a challenge for me Janis: so you keep saying Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: meaning I should ask you that Janis: they eat up that live Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Whatever Janis: next week or whenever you can pick someone else to do it with Jimmy: What are you on about? Janis: if you reckon I'm so shit at it Jimmy: I never said Janis: you say it all the time, boy Jimmy: steady on Jimmy: you did alright, there's nowt to get a mard on over Janis: whatever, like I said Jimmy: What? Janis: what? Janis: what are you doing, anyway? Jimmy: I'm asking you what's the matter, nowt else til you've answered that, like Janis: nothing's the matter Janis: just don't know why you have to talk to me like such a dick all the time Jimmy: I'm a dickhead Janis: yeah Jimmy: What do you want me to talk to you like? Janis: literally just like we both have a stake in this plan and that we're both doing shit about it, nothing more or less Jimmy: okay Janis: alright then Jimmy: I'm fed up of this bollocks, cover me Janis: 👍 no fucker is coming back here to check on me so Jimmy: just me if anyone @'s you Janis: yeah, sure Janis: no doubt assuming at this point, idiots, like you said Jimmy: I'd chuck 'em all 🏆🏆🏆🏆 for giving us such a hand but I'd be there ages Janis: generosity has to know some bounds Janis: or it'll just get weird Jimmy: right Janis: anyway, you need any more 🚬 Janis: got loads now Jimmy: don't you need 'em? Janis: nah, not a smoker Jimmy: I'll come pick up 'em when I do you then Janis: literally this time or Jimmy: can't get back on your own, delicate little lass like you who's walking wounded an' all Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend would I be Janis: ugh Janis: suppose so Jimmy: I get it, you're fed up of this bollocks yourself Jimmy: should've put 💰 on you not staying put in that bed for nowt Janis: you didn't wanna stay in bed either when they sent you out, if I recall Jimmy: I weren't in pain but alright Jimmy: you said no fucker's coming to check, come with me if you want Jimmy: I reckon I might 🔓 the teacher's rooms Janis: I'm putting it on, remember but 🤫 Janis: yeah? Jimmy: funny that, I were putting my 💔 on at getting sent out Jimmy: heard you were such an athlete, reckon you've got it in you to hop over and meet us or what? Janis: 😱 no way! you're SUCH a social butterfly though Janis: 🐇 on the brain, new boy Jimmy: 🦘🥊 Jimmy: so 💪🏆🥇 you Janis: don't need to compliment me, it was my idea, obviously coming Jimmy: How were it your idea? I just had it Janis: 'scuse you Jimmy: you Jimmy: nicking my 🥇💡 Janis: such a wind-up Jimmy: that's you an' all Janis: 😒 Janis: ignoring you Jimmy: be my #ultimategoals if any lass could Janis: if you talked more, they'd get over it faster, I reckon Jimmy: if they let me get a word in, I might do Janis: that's what they want, mute hot boyfriend Jimmy: 💔 for 'em that my brother's only a kid and got a fair shout not growing up to look like me Janis: you joke now Jimmy: do I? Janis: 🤡 Jimmy: don't forget the 🔪🩸 Janis: brother ain't got a yellow mac, has he Jimmy: did do when he were a bit younger Jimmy: and he loves pissing about with a bit of paper Jimmy: ain't hard to make a ⛵ Janis: just don't let him go out in a torrential downpour like a fucking idiot then Jimmy: he's scared of 🎈 any road and going fucking anywhere without me Jimmy: be alright Janis: cute or annoying? Jimmy: How would I know? Jimmy: obvs a shit judge of character if I'm not 😍😍🤤 for 💀👑 Janis: or you cba to deal with her for a bigger tip than the one you get as is Janis: replaces minions with some frequency so, reconsider, babe Jimmy: about as much chance getting a tip off her as she does getting me to put even the tip in her Jimmy: done a crazy ex, and she ain't rich enough to make me reconsider having another go at it Janis: that's not a 😍😍🤤 mental image Jimmy: soz Janis: should be Janis: what kind of fake boyfriend Jimmy: [shows up to help her on this very short stroll to where the teacher's rooms which he absolutely doesn't need to do cos he's that kind of fake bf] Janis: ['what do you reckon Mr. Lucas deemed essential for this trip?' we chatting and walking] Jimmy: ['Old school porn mags about virgin school girls' because we treating him as so old he can't work the internet] Janis: [shudders 'too real' he has been there since gen 2 so in their minds you that old lol] Jimmy: [nudges her but then does the OTT catching her thing like obvs she's gonna fall just from that cos so injured] Janis: [more of a push than a nudge 'cos perfectly capable, tah] Jimmy: [we all know you just wanna touch her boy but takes a dramatic step back like okay then cos she was probably leaning on him at least a little bit] Janis: [😒 but striding out like fine] Jimmy: [takes a 🚬 from behind his ear cos #mood] Janis: [making this injury so much worse than it needs to be is the #mood here for you] Jimmy: [when you offer her the 🚬 after a bit cos sharing is caring even though you have loads now and don't need to share remotely] Janis: ['downgrade noted' miming 💔 but taking it like 😏] Jimmy: [we know you just wanted the excuse of passing it back and forth to walk closer to her again instead of hanging back] Janis: ['bet Ms Burke has bare booze an' all'] Jimmy: [irl 🤞 cos what you found earlier is long gone and they've probably drunk what they confiscated off you if it was better than what they brought #tahIan] Janis: [coming through for the teachers at least] Jimmy: [and he will be annoyed Jimothy took it in the first place so mission accomplished there 'looks like she put a fair bit of it away, better crack on before there's nowt left' and picking her up like you're taking ages gal but shamelessly just wanna] Janis: ['you've got a blatant kink' when you meant to sound pisstakey but deny it's not a mood so you end up sounded flirty anyway] Jimmy: ['it's only blatant if you keep tweeting about it' because we've gotta bring it back to fake or we'll die/do something we shouldn't] Janis: [looks down at herself being carried, like, 👌 but drops it 'so you finally admit you don't do everything'] Jimmy: [looks at her ankle 'be the size of your head if I don't, gotta admit that, you'] Janis: [shrugs like it doesn't matter as if the only thing that keeps you sane isn't running and other exercise] Jimmy: [shrugs back like he doesn't know that, at least on some level cos how sporty you are] Janis: [jumping down literally as soon as you can 'cos awkward and looking at him like 'impress me then'] Jimmy: [automatically steadies her when she jumps down because such a big brother but then we're cracking onto this breaking and entering cos wouldn't be that hard it's not exactly state of the art] Janis: [we just gotta kick it open and deal with the fact they'll probably assume it's you two] Jimmy: [they both wanna get in trouble it's fine] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [kill some time looking through all their shit lads] Jimmy: [I like to imagine you both pissing about with the ugly teacher clothes too] Janis: [100%, and dragging their lives based on even the flimsiest of evidence 'cos fuck the police] Jimmy: [when you're having such a lovely time you don't even drink yet cos you don't need to] Janis: [we need to fuck with Mr. Lucas' stuff the hardest like actually go too far, so that he will remember, 'cos any other teacher, even if they're like 'you'll be in trouble when we get back!' would forget after 3-weeks, but he needs to remember so we can be straight in that detention moment after] Jimmy: [10000% approve of that because he's gotta become their nemesis] Janis: [actually shady we not just joking fully here] Jimmy: [mhmm it'll give you something else to bond over cos you're casually becoming friends and falling in love during this bit which would be a fantastic montage] Janis: [true tea, we can always use detentions to our advantage so why not, it's community service lite] Jimmy: [is there anything else we wanna have happen before the activity time finishes and he carries her into dinner and gets her food for her and everyone dies about it?] Janis: [unless we're gonna hit 'em with another #moment] Jimmy: [you know I wanna cos I'm that bitch but is it too #risky?] Janis: [nah 'cos they can hear something/someone and have to literally bolt 'cos teachers room] Janis: [then she'll need carrying legit 'cos running is not the one rn but have to] Jimmy: [that's such a mood like it's the equivalent of running and handholding but even cuter bye, try not to die because you're so in love rn kids] Janis: [so we kissing and not getting a phone out before this, just so we remember] Jimmy: [cos god knows I might not be allowed to write it in tags 😒 but important q is who initiated it?] Janis: [hmm, can be her] Jimmy: [okay go have your coupley dinner moment lads, they can't stop you sitting together now she's an invalid] Janis: [make him feed you so then you can feed him in a suggestive manner, they'll literally be fuming and starving at that] Jimmy: [god bless, and thank god you can kiss as much as you want rn cos you'd be fuming you got interrupted] Janis: [and you can go some 'cos doing the most to be the most so enjoy that] Jimmy: [we know that's the mood you're in rn lads and the teachers are already sick of you so who cares if they're bothered] Janis: [or anyone else like who do either of you like, so fuck 'em] Jimmy: [and it lends itself nicely to the vibe of putting on a show for whichever of the flatwhites are in your room afterwards because that still needs to be a thing] Janis: [we can separate them for a bit before that if you want though?] Jimmy: [why not, amp up the tension and sexy mood a bit further lol] Janis: [my thoughts exactly] Jimmy: [like we know he's fake nursing her again but the #mood is a very different one to the cuteness of sick bay earlier so] Janis: [yeah, clearly it's a sit-down type activity so you can't insist you need to work together now] Jimmy: [I dread to think what boring bollocks] Janis: 💤 Jimmy: 😎🔨 Janis: 😶 🦷🦷🩸🩸🩸 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: you'd have more intrigue, I reckon Jimmy: work hard not to look my 45 years though, don't I? Janis: you haven't had enough fake compliments? Janis: yes, so youthful, not a day over 38 😘 Jimmy: just saying it might look less like I were hiding my crow's feet and more like I were keeping it to myself that a bird pulled 'em out Jimmy: and how am I gonna do 😍 with 🚫👀 Janis: have to 🖐 Jimmy: [signs some fake compliments at her which we know aren't that fake] Janis: not what I meant but even without 👀 you have a better chance than me of getting it right Jimmy: I know you meant 🖕 but it'd have the fans in an uproar, Jasmine, think on Janis: I meant feel faces, you dick, not so un-PC that I don't know the difference between 😎 and 🔇 tah Janis: I'm keeping it goals here Jimmy: [comes over and shamelessly touches her face and hair in such a suggestive manner like 1. you meant like this yeah, I'm just getting my practice in 2. I'm keeping it goals too] Janis: still 😍 Jimmy: There you go then Jimmy: crisis averted Janis: get the ✂️ Jimmy: [we casually sending her doodles of all the ways they could die rn, starring adorable cartoon JJ's] Janis: such a dreamer, you 💘 Jimmy: romantic was taken by you Janis: obviously Janis: ask anyone Jimmy: had the Q&A a bit ago, babe Jimmy: you hit your head an' all? Janis: who was funny taken by, like? Jimmy: Ben's missus Janis: true Janis: shame Ben has a head like a turnip or I'd break them up for real Jimmy: that'll be why I said it, don't lie to mine, do I? Jimmy: don't have to get with him to do that Jimmy: I'll crack on to his soon to be ex Janis: if you think 🏉 heads are better Jimmy: Tah for the head's up, I won't feel hers Janis: lowkey got braille going on Janis: but you don't fake owe me that Jimmy: be a right laugh Jimmy: why wouldn't I? Janis: make you her next victim, probably why not Jimmy: I get it, you wanna be the one to 💀💀💀 me Jimmy: Alright, Jules, I'll steer clear Janis: that's the deal Jimmy: 🖋🩸 Janis: tempting Janis: jazz up this project Jimmy: Hang on, I'll open up a vein for you Jimmy: what could be more #goals? Janis: next Q&A, babe Jimmy: 👌 Janis: torture kink confirmed for Lucas 😩 Jimmy: nowt we weren't in the know about ages ago Janis: this is bold though Jimmy: you could boldly go back to sick bay Jimmy: they don't know you didn't hit your head, and one that size the headache would be 💀💀💀 Janis: no more fun that, is it Janis: may as well be bored here Jimmy: Depends Janis: I checked, the meds are shit Jimmy: but what Ms Burke uses to self medicate weren't that bad Jimmy: no 🍾 like, but you'd be alright Janis: I'm not as 😢 as her Janis: trying to get me drunk is a choice though Jimmy: right little ☀ you Jimmy: I'm trying to stop you whinging Janis: 'cos you're loving life Jimmy: no dickhead is, that'd be the point Janis: so 🤐 like it's a me problem Jimmy: I never said it were Janis: you was whinging bout it Janis: your table well interesting, yeah? Jimmy: You've got an excuse to do one, someone'd stop me before I smacked my head into the desk enough times for 🤕 Jimmy: that were what I said, nowt else Jimmy: take it or don't, girl Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: I told you, I'd be bored regardless, we don't need to go over it again Jimmy: Alright, fucking hell, forget I said owt Janis: Gladly Jimmy: 👍 Janis: if you want a break from your duties, I'll go rest after Jimmy: if you wanna tell me to piss off, do it properly Janis: fuck off turning shit around on me Janis: you want me to go now, just ignore me, no one is going to call us out if we give it a rest for a hot sec Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: fine Jimmy: is it? Janis: yes, stop asking like that Jimmy: stop being a massive twat Janis: why bother Jimmy: I don't want you to go nowhere, alright? Janis: alright Janis: what is it then? Jimmy: What? Janis: wha's wrong? Jimmy: What's wrong with you? Janis: Charming Jimmy: right Janis: you just seem moodier than normal, weren't calling you a total weirdo freak, was I Jimmy: Dunno, I read lips not minds Janis: another tagline Jimmy: give me my 🏆 whenever Janis: you know you want it off sir harder Jimmy: Mia's already deemed that non-goals, can't be a goer Janis: 💔 Janis: get it now Jimmy: 🎻🎻😭 Janis: Baby Janis: can't handle 🥈 Jimmy: you'll get used to it Janis: forgot my question mark, whoops Jimmy: yeah yeah Jimmy: I'm 🥇 ask anyone Janis: I'm the prize, ask anyone Janis: being nice to you, dickhead Jimmy: I'd have to give 'em a smack if I did do, that kind of fake boyfriend Janis: well 'ard Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: be less bored an' all Janis: getting to slag me off? yeah, you love it Jimmy: Getting to defend your honour, dickhead Jimmy: I'm the only one who gets to slag you off that's what 💕 is Janis: 😏 Janis: sounds about right Jimmy: should've probably phrased it more 🤓 for the screenshot Janis: where's my poetry, dickhead Jimmy: Hang on Jimmy: [writes her something actually good cos #muse] Janis: you save that from your crazy ex? Janis: s'clever, actually Jimmy: Do you see any other lass' name ❌? Janis: just think you were trying to remember mine, tbf Jimmy: What is it again? Janis: not important Janis: just stick with a pet name that makes us wanna puke Jimmy: Hers don't begin with the right letter, always get that far, me Jimmy: [draws her a doodle of a the JJ love heart for the first time ever] Janis: [mking sure the whole table sees so subtly] Janis: she weren't willing to change it? Janis: part-timer Jimmy: weren't willing to 💍👰 her, that were her next one Janis: your ex is a child bride? Jimmy: grim up north, you've been told Janis: that is 'it's their culture we shouldn't judge???!' grim though Jimmy: like I said, nowt to do with me Jimmy: if it stops her shagging half the north it'll be a bit less grim that she were Jimmy: *than Janis: 😬🤐 Jimmy: *😐 Janis: did you break up 'cos you came here, or was it ages ago? Jimmy: Did you not clock how unbothered I were there? Janis: that's just your face all the time Jimmy: *😒 Jimmy: That's my face Janis: 😍 there he is Jimmy: [makes her a paper boat and puts it on her desk] Jimmy: next time it's 😭 you've got that to piss about with Janis: [Blows him a kiss] Janis: 🤤🥴 you want me to get my arm ripped off by a clown? hot Jimmy: [IRL 😍 because we will lose ourselves if we're too real rn] Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Jimmy: That mean you'll let me 🪓🦶 or what? Janis: that's why you want me bedbound, all adding up now Janis: currently, I'll take it, do your best to do your worst, or whatever Jimmy: 🛏⛓ Jimmy: 🎀 Jimmy: You alright? Janis: gonna take Helena's pills, then I will be Jimmy: What's wrong? Janis: feels like someone's 🪓🦶 from the inside out Jimmy: Fuck this, I'm taking you to your room Janis: You don't have to, seriously Jimmy: [does though and tells the teacher that's what he's doing like I dare you to stop me bitch] Janis: [not in a position to argue, just like 'that's what they're for, she's got a slipped disc or some bollocks'] Jimmy: [casually having a row with the teacher like we're going good day and they do go and he puts her on her bed so gently like the softest boy and goes to get said 💊 soz Helena but not soz Mia if you do get the blame for this after having those couple under your pillow and more ice and an ankle support or whatever from the shit first aid like brb] Jimmy: how many? Janis: [oh boy you so pure] Janis: take another 2, please Janis: then I'll have 1 for tomorrow too Jimmy: One sec Janis: sorry Jimmy: What for? Janis: all this nonsense Jimmy: it's nowt Jimmy: be a load of bollocks if you were just sat there in pain when we can sort it piss easy Janis: I can't believe I even hurt myself, it's so stupid Janis: but if she notices, I'll get her better, don't worry, like Jimmy: When she notices, I'll let her know it were 💀👑 don't you worry Janis: maybe she won't, might be emergencies only type of shit Jimmy: doubt she'd be here if it were that bad Jimmy: 💀💀💀 trap that assault course Janis: by the time you get back, I will have curled up in a ball and died, and that's only a self-drag so, don't start Jimmy: What if it's broken? Janis: my ankle? Janis: it ain't, I'm 99% sure Jimmy: that 1% is 💔 Jimmy: be 100% for me, like Janis: alright, I am Janis: there's no way I'd have this much movement still, it was running on it earlier, that's all Jimmy: [we back cos we hurrying, give her that pill and some water and tuck the other one in her pocket for later (always so intimate boy) and put the ice on, then we're just sitting on the floor close as we can so she can have the entirety of the bed which would be Grace's as a correction corner cos I doubt he carried her up the ladder] Janis: [oh yes, soz to kick you out your bed gal, make later even more awkward lols, just hiding your face under the covers 'thank you'] Jimmy: [the softest 'hey' ever as you uncover her face and gently touch it cos you're worried that like she's in so much pain it's making her feel sick or something] Janis: [it is just shame and that should be apparent on her face, such a pitiful pout moment 'I am not this bitch, I swear'] Jimmy: [just brushing his thumb over her bottom lip like no put that away please 'I know' cos they may not know each other but he knows that much thankfully] Janis: ['can you stay, for a bit?'] Jimmy: [makes himself comfy on the floor next to her as a yes] Janis: ['you can get in, just don't literally sit on it and we'll be fine'] Jimmy: [bites his lip in a worried and adorable manner cos wants her to be comfortable but obvs does get in] Janis: ['don't worry, if you come across all rapey, still got both fists and one good leg' but gets comfy on him like, jk, I trust you] Jimmy: [a genuine lil smile cos we still worried but we're also amused and feeling a bit better] Jimmy: ['still got your teeth an' all, well deadly weapon them' always gotta be a bit saucy with it even in times of struggle] Janis: ['that's a different scenario altogether, gotta be nice for that to happen'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like oi cos he has literally been so nice and draws a halo round his head like excuse you] Janis: ['yeah, you have, but not like- you don't wanna' shakes her head and does devil horns on her own] Jimmy: ['I wanna - no you don't even go there sir shut your mouth and change what you were gonna say 'make sure you're alright' like true but] Janis: ['I know' smiles a bit, to reassure him 'these tabs are good so I'll either pass out or have a good time in the hottest of secs so, win-win'] Jimmy: [shakes his head but in an affectionate way] Janis: ['sorry I can't share'] Jimmy: ['You're alright' shrugs 'We've still got Ms Burke's stash to split' lowkey very much the last thing on his mind rn but we're on brand] Janis: ['go get it then' let's not gal full 😈 energy, but actually holding him around the waist so he cannot go anywhere 'cos rather this, we know] Jimmy: [snuggles into her more than he was like shh shh naughty baby 'in a bit' but we're not going anywhere] Janis: [happy sigh] Jimmy: [just being soft and quiet and snuggly] Janis: [go to sleep or you'll get loopy gurl] Jimmy: [both sleeping til Grace bowls in like a loud bitch not realising they are aka a my sister move] Janis: [SHOOKETH] Jimmy: [at least he can ask her how's she feeling because he genuinely wants to know but it's also goals] Janis: [when you say 'so much better thanks to you' 'cos genuinely but then you do the LOOK so  the fake lives on] Jimmy: [just asking her if he can get her anything cos genuinely but giving her a LOOK back in case she wants to take it in saucy direction, for the fakery ofc yep] Janis: [when you get to go 'you' and pull him down for a smooch 'cos excuse, thanks so much lol] Jimmy: [enjoy that lads cos we're all sleepy and in our emotions] Janis: [can't JUST start the show when the other flat whites come in, how unrealistic, no other reason we're snuggling so hard and telling him how good he is] Jimmy: [I like to imagine that Grace is getting ready to fuck off to one of their rooms to leave you to it when they descend because you know Mia knows you've been through her shit but can't prove it] Janis: [you and everyone else sweaty] Jimmy: [literally get over yourself babe, the only room they didn't do were their own, you ain't special and we're 'ignoring' y'all] Janis: [so hard, like not even saying hi 'cos just so injured and so concerned and also so into each other] Jimmy: [as far as y'all are concerned nobody's even there except for Grace cos she was impossible to ignore soz not soz ladies] Jimmy: [also he's ignoring his phone going off cos that full attention ™ would make them die] Janis: [when has a boy ever or when have you ever 'cos don't care about any lad that much we see you two 💀 Jimmy: [Pablo wouldn't and neither would you bitches, do love that it adds to your new boy mystery though Jimothy cos they don't know you're raising your siblings and your dad's a prick] Janis: ['do you need anything?' 'cos not that bitch, again, unlike you two] Jimmy: [shameless excuse for a make out that we're taking, sucks to suck gals] Janis: [when it's lowkey soft but still intense, compared to going the hardest for full effect 'cos that's actually more impactful rn] Jimmy: [I love that even though we know it'd make JJ die more, soz you two] Janis: [having to be all types of vulnerable rn] Jimmy: [#doitforthevine cos again when have any of the flatwhites been vulnerable with anyone] Janis: [try to stay alive] Jimmy: [at least whilst you're dying you're taking them down with you] Janis: ['I can probably get in my bed if you want yours back' 'cos where even are you all, just standing watching, need some privacy here lmao] Jimmy: [Grace would be like it's fine because has been trying to get them all to leave since they got there but nobody's listening lol] Janis: [get in that top bunk anyway 'cos like, not fine, your friends are crazy] Jimmy: [don't worry gal he'll help you] Janis: [at least now you can communicate 'cos can't straight up be peeping that hard, 👍 like ?] Jimmy: [just nods cos we're more worried about her ankle and checking on that not because this is such an intense situation rn nope nope] Janis: '[it's really fine now!' in the like OMG, you're SO precious tone they would use but also tryna be like actually though] Jimmy: [making her comfy af anyway because you're that kind of boy] Janis: ['get comfy with me'] Jimmy: [does and does a really loud happy sigh that we'll never know if it's real or fake] Janis: [saying sorry that he has to stay in with her and asking if he's so bored then loud whispering all the ways she gon' make it up to him] Jimmy: [saying back that he could never be bored with her and he wants to stay even though they're all here because true and kindly take the hint that you aren't taking from Grace ladies] Janis: [honestly, what do you want, you have two other rooms you could be in, it's so blatant lol] Jimmy: [maybe all his loud whispering about what he's gonna do to take care of her, in the sauciest manner he could ever mean that will make you leave but unlikely, we know Grace and Hollie are doing the most to be like LET'S GO but] Janis: [the lookiest of LOOKS honey, 'what are we waiting for then?' loud enough to be a warning like bitches go] Jimmy: [he's taking clothes off of her rn so you better leave there's another warning] Janis: [bra on your head or something equally as comical] Jimmy: [Grace is going so you've literally got no excuse to stay now Mia but you do have an excuse to sleep with that boy that Grace was flirting with cos you so mad] Janis: [sorry bra head] Jimmy: [I love ruining her life so much it gives me life, I also love that JJ are shamelessly gonna carry on for a bit just in case they come back cos of forgetting something cos actually wouldn't put that past Mia or Ella tbh] Janis: [very dedicated] Jimmy: [mhmm not at all that you really wanna do everything you said you were gonna do] Janis: [mhmmmmmmmmmmmm, not at all awkward when you have to stop 'cos realistically they gone] Jimmy: [at least you can finally check what was popping off on your phone in case Cass or Bobby need you] Janis: [yes, a must, as per you just kinda stuck but esp. with your ankle so just relish in that awkward] Jimmy: [I'm gonna say he has to facetime him cos they'd be signing anyway so all the secrets are safe] Jimmy: [but checking on the bae throughout like do you need me to get you anything because that bitch] Janis: [v handy actually, just watching but not in a creepy way just interested] Jimmy: [casually gonna be the longest phone call ever as poor Bobby misses him] Janis: [poor bobert, hop down for a wee or something gal give some space] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna help you automatically even if you could actually hop over] Janis: [taking a shower just to kill time, even though he's probably gonna be #concerned ] Jimmy: [he's gonna be 😒 at you gal] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [don't actually slip over or anything though that's the last thing we need] Janis: [being careful if you aren't gonna come in and reprimand us it fine] Jimmy: [I wish you would boy but that's risky for other reasons] Janis: [we know, not that shameless or bold quite yet] Jimmy: [one day kids] Janis: [are shameless enough to come out in your towel like bonjour] Jimmy: [cue his grumpiness cos 1. #concerned 2. we know what she looks like] Janis: ['what?' like you kinda know but you know, play like you truly don't have a clue] Jimmy: ['what do you mean what?' he's fuming] Janis: ['I felt gross' bit rude like 'cos YOU'VE been all over me but probably groggy from the meds and just spending more time than you ever in a bed 'it's fine'] Jimmy: [😒 af because we've jumped to the conclusion that she is saying because of him and also he hates all that it's fine bollocks] Janis: ['come on' throwing her hair towel thing at him once she's done drying it 'I didn't fall'] Jimmy: [throws it back at her a little bit too hard cos we know the 3. I didn't write is that the fam stuff has also got to him, cos Ian is the worst] Janis: [is honestly like oh! but we dropping it with a shrug 'cos clearly about more than you, you aren't that bitch either, just carrying on getting PJs on etc like alright] Jimmy: [go to get her some water to give her some privacy to put clothes on and also to give her as a peace offering] Janis: [just like tah with a head nod] Jimmy: [he's going to the window to 🚬 cos can't leave in case someone sees him] Janis: ['how long did we nap?' literally no concept 'cos never sleeps that well tbh] Jimmy: ['just for a bit' cos realistically wouldn't have been an age 'go back to sleep if you want'] Janis: [shrugs like 'could do' 'cos lowkey evenings on school trips are this awkward like what we gonna do] Jimmy: [just smoking in silence in case she does wanna but then after a while is suddenly like 'come here' cos sees Mia going into that lad's room but doesn't know who's it is] Janis: [does and is 😏 and already tryna do a zoom shot but misses 'come on then' 'cos gotta be nosy and life ruin] Jimmy: [gets his hoodie which is now hers and puts it on for her first including a zip up moment because she only has pjs on and he doesn't want her to be cold] Janis: ['A*' 'cos all part of the performance obvs] Jimmy: [we just shrugging cos we got places to be spying, 100% has also set a timer to see how long she's in there for that shade though] Janis: [lmao, this poor random boy 'I reckon this is his first time, you know'] Jimmy: [visibly cringing cos imagine your first time being with Mia, it'd be bad enough sleeping with her any time] Janis: [nods like mhmm, 'cos on some level you think he's JUST cringing about first times] Jimmy: [when he probably would think about his first time with the ex and cringe some more] Janis: [pushing him like 'focus' as if this is v v serious sleuthing] Jimmy: [pushes her back like oi because always, unrelated kinda but I think we should say it starts raining for that #mood] Janis: [love rain baby] Jimmy: [puts her hood up for her as a shameless excuse to touch her hair] Janis: [when it's still damp from the shower so this makes you smile like okay boy] Jimmy: [smiling back automatically and it's a cute lil moment ™] Janis: [messing up his hair 'cos likewise] Jimmy: [we falling in love again, quick boy gather what evidence you can without having to witness anything gross] Janis: [or being seen by miss thang, not stalking you in return tah] Jimmy: [she wishes, oh snap though what if Mr Lucas sees them] Janis: [JJ or Mia and poor boy? Jimmy: [JJ because he hates them and it amuses me like why you lurking in the rain sir] Janis: [how sinister, absolutely] Jimmy: [we'll let you finish your mission first, he don't need to interrupt that] Janis: [but a good reason to separate you again] Janis: I've got an 💡 Jimmy: but is it🥇? Janis: some would even say 🔥 Jimmy: Go on Janis: what if we repurpose the website we made for the computer project Janis: upload the 📸 and 📹s Jimmy: Alright Janis: it's a good idea Janis: I don't mean now, I mean when she really deserves it Jimmy: you don't reckon she deserves it now? Janis: she always does, obvs Janis: but she can do worse Janis: and we can probably get more RECEIPTS to make it more 🔥 Jimmy: and you'll get a bigger 🏆 off me Janis: priorities Jimmy: that's your top one, yeah Janis: idk if that's even my fake top priority Jimmy: Oi, don't protest too much, girl Jimmy: you'll bring Bill's 👻 out Janis: don't threaten me with a good time Jimmy: 👻 can't threaten you with owt Janis: or just moving my shit slightly to one side Janis: throwing a few plates, fucking with the radiowaves Jimmy: I'd only have to get it for you if I did do Jimmy: and grab myself the 🧹 Janis: 1. rude, because it's both your fault that I'm an invalid and your fault that you keep treating me like one 2. stick it up your arse and you'll have two hands free 👌 Jimmy: 1. never said I weren't gonna keep putting the work in, just that there's no need to create loads of extra Jimmy: 2. another 💡🥇 you're on one today, Janet Jimmy: 3. Why's it alright for you to threaten me with a good time? Janis: 1. didn't say that either, you clearly love it so why complain? 2. all I do is 🏆 you need to pay closer attention 3. 'cos I know how to have one, OBVS Jimmy: 1. you reckon this is me putting a complaint in? Bit awkward that 2. when I ain't off the clock I'll be sure to crack on with that and owt else your heart desires, babe 3. You know how to have a 💡🥇 it ain't the same thing Janis: 1. don't have a special form for it or a manager so, now's your only chance 2. 🤮 3. yeah, would know, as I have 'em both Jimmy: Keep on and I might take it Jimmy: but as things go, I told you 😒 just my face Janis: love it, I already told you I know Janis: say no more Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 🤤 Janis: genuine Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: fake Janis: 👍 for clearing that up Jimmy: 👍 for not having genuine 💔 about it Janis: 🙄 imagine Jimmy: you're alright, tah Jimmy: don't need any nightmare #inspo Janis: 🎻 Janis: it'd be your privilege Jimmy: would be 😭🎻🗭😱 that were what I just said Jimmy: it's my privilege to be off the clock for a bit Janis: sound like an old lag Janis: enjoy your freedom Jimmy: that'll be 'cause I am Jimmy: Helena's 💊 wore off yet or what? Janis: what you saying? Jimmy: you heard me say it Jimmy: are you alright or what? Janis: you're bad at taking a break Jimmy: It's pissing it down, it'd put my 🚬 out Jimmy: you might as well answer me Janis: not all breaks last 15 minutes and include two 🚬s, you know Janis: do anything your 💘 desires Jimmy: sounds fake, that Jimmy: and my 💘 desires your answer, dickhead Janis: I'm alright Janis: felt better earlier, obviously Janis: but not taking no more from her Jimmy: have a drink then, I left it there Janis: want me to roll it down after? Jimmy: it might float away Jimmy: keep it for now Janis: 👍 more for me Jimmy: Oi Janis: yes? Jimmy: leave my share alone, pisshead Janis: well demanding Jimmy: how'd you work that out? Janis: don't you want me to manage my pain? Jimmy: it were my idea Janis: exactly, now you're being stingy Janis: Ms Burke knows how much you need to really take the edge off Jimmy: half'll get the job done, lightweight like you Janis: not even true Jimmy: you're not alright then Janis: I meant I'm not a lightweight Jimmy: and I meant, it's a bigger edge that you're telling me if you need owt more than your half to see it off Jimmy: *than Janis: Only taking the piss Janis: I'll save your half Jimmy: are you? Janis: Alright ✔ taking the piss ✔ Janis: be all good by the time we leave, I reckon Jimmy: 👌 Janis: are you Janis: was on the phone ages earlier Jimmy: Alright ✔ taking the piss ❌ Jimmy: didn't realise you had a ⏲ going Janis: no need Janis: escaped and had a shower, 'nuff said Jimmy: you do take ages Janis: fuck off Janis: got a lot of hair, ain't I Jimmy: taking the piss ✔ Jimmy: you're alright, reckon my ex's 🚿⏲ could give Gracie a run for her 💰 Janis: probably 😭 in there then Jimmy: 💔 she can't fit the full orchestra in Janis: have to be minted for that Janis: how big does a bathroom have to be, anything more than a box with a bog in is a flex Jimmy: bet 💀👑's is MASSIVE Janis: which one? 💁 Jimmy: her personal one, duh Janis: play 🎾 whilst you 💩 Jimmy: play ♟ with human sized pieces while you 🤮 Janis: human pieces if you could get the bloody staff 😤 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: some dystopian shit that Jimmy: she looks like she's crawled out of a warzone or some bollocks Janis: very zombie Janis: NEVER eat all those 🧠 though, zombie on a diet Jimmy: cancer ward would do an' all but she'd be about the pity too much for me to sign off on that one Janis: ugh, she'd be infuriating if she had a terminal illness Jimmy: she has Jimmy: and it's spread to 💀#2 Janis: nah Janis: well part-time Jimmy: obvs, rich girls ain't got no need to do owt full time Janis: 'cept be a mummy, when the time is right Jimmy: nah, that's part time an' all if you can get the staff Jimmy: and keep your husband away from 'em Janis: face like 💀? good luck Janis: poor nanny would only have to look vaguely human Jimmy: she won't keep a lad long enough to 💍👰 Jimmy: have to 💰👶 Janis: wouldn't put fuck all past her Janis: 💰🤵 Janis: why not Jimmy: 🛏⛓🦶🏻🪓 Jimmy: bit weird how it came back round Janis: 🛑 to 🤐? Jimmy: nowt weird about that Janis: it is your kink Jimmy: it were you who were genuinely 🤤 about me shutting up a bit ago Janis: and it was you that 🛏⛓ Janis: phase one almost complete Jimmy: if it were, you wouldn't be pissing about going for 🚿s Janis: well soz I got away Jimmy: me an' all, obvs Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: If you think of a kink that don't involve 🛏 you can hmu Jimmy: 🤯 Jimmy: I've got nowt else to offer you, soz Janis: damn Janis: guess I'll be taking loads of 🚿s Jimmy: don't give me a bell when you twist your other ankle then Janis: 🥺 Janis: what if Ben ain't as good at fetching me things Jimmy: that'll mean you ain't as good a trainer as you reckon Jimmy: but go on and give him them 👀 Janis: you're right Janis: that's ridiculous Janis: obviously I'm 🥇 Jimmy: There you go then Janis: it's been fake Janis: gotta dash Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I know, the 💔 is real Jimmy: I can't 😭 if you keep on Janis: performance anxiety Janis: cute Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: it's gonna take you ages to dash anywhere, you better crack on Janis: rude Janis: I'm great at 🦩 Jimmy: you are always 😳 Janis: *never Jimmy: never @ Ben Jimmy: you've got that right Janis: if Ben asked me to fake it an' all, I could Jimmy: duh Jimmy: nowt you wouldn't do for that lad Janis: not fake anal Janis: need to save something for the fake honeymoon, tah Jimmy: You're alright, it don't count for you god fearing paddys Janis: that's Ben's line Janis: not my pimp Jimmy: be knackering, well in demand, you Janis: thanks? Jimmy: I'll leave you to it then, mate Janis: night Jimmy: in a bit Janis: left your hoodie on your door Jimmy: it's yours Janis: it's not though Jimmy: is til we're done Jimmy: so unless you're 💔 me for Ben tonight, have it back Janis: I'll give it back tomorrow Janis: got plenty of hoodies that could be yours at home Jimmy: 👌 Janis: oh Janis: and I left the bottle Janis: grab that 'fore Ms Burke sniffs it back out Jimmy: you need a hand back? Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: where that hand is taking me Jimmy: Depends Janis: I'm not getting back in fucking bed Janis: I'll get sores Jimmy: I'll flip you over Jimmy: 💪 me Jimmy: and I've got that 👻 rep to keep Janis: steady Janis: 😏 Janis: not gonna start a new rep being one of those lonely women who has paranormal orgasms Jimmy: I get it, no threat of a good time Jimmy: where do you wanna go then? Janis: mhmm Janis: after I ❌ out 🍑 stuff and everything, still tryna see it from the back Janis: I dunno, there has to be something less deadly than the assault course Janis: the lake? Jimmy: Alright Janis: I'm gonna go mental if I don't get out Jimmy: I said alright Jimmy: hang on Janis: finish whatever's keeping you busy Jimmy: [appears like a 👻] Janis: [faux 😱 for the horror movie moment] Jimmy: [passes her the bottle he's just taken a swig from automatically] Janis: [raises a brow 'cos had her half, clearly, but as clearly does not turn it down] Jimmy: [picks her up obviously] Janis: ['you know it's a way down there-' gestures in the general direction '-yeah?'] Jimmy: ['that'll be why you need carrying' cos he's like stop walking about ffs, such a worrier] Janis: [tuts 'go halves with you on that tab tomorrow at this rate, boy'] Jimmy: [such an OTT fake offended face to hide that he actually is] Janis: [pinches his cheeks and his biceps 'n'awh, you're good, just saying, don't try to come for me for your physio'] Jimmy: [pretends that he's gonna drop her cos she's messing about like don't come to me for yours] Janis: ['I'll drag you down with me' looking at the muddy ground and looking at him like, game if you are] Jimmy: [SUCH a LOOK] Janis: ['think of the photo op' trying to sound casual but not] Jimmy: [puts her down and gets his phone out, giving her the same kind of impress me then look that she gave him earlier when he broke into the teacher's rooms] Janis: [gets down, with however much difficulty, on her knees, then gets back up with the same and points at the mud like, see what I'm saying here, 'cos in PJs so lot of skin we could cover] Jimmy: [just looking at her like don't hurt yourself babe] Janis: [😒 'come on'] Jimmy: [comes over and smears mud on her 😒 face and you know it's meant to be in a pisstakey manner but it's just saucy] Janis: [gets her phone out so she can film the kiss she gives him to get that mud on his face] Jimmy: [not at all casual makeout sesh enusing] Janis: [pulling him down in the mud like you said you would] Jimmy: [so #into it whenever and wherever we know] Janis: [again, these pics such an after-thought immediately] Jimmy: [still gonna pull you into his lap though as an excuse to keep you in frame, no other reason at all] Janis: ['you like me here, yeah?' under the vague pretense we 📹 as per] Jimmy: [when you just nod because even though we're 'filming' you don't trust yourself not to say something you shouldn't] Janis: [shifts somehow closer so they're fully pressed together 'what about here?'] Jimmy: [a NOISE because it's the perfect answer for this 📹 but also real af] Janis: [a noise in return 'you're so fucking-'] Jimmy: ['you' and kissing her really hard before she can dispute it] Janis: [bye phone tbh] Jimmy: [you did better at pretending than I thought you would lads tbh] Janis: [well done for even bothering babe] Jimmy: [literally] Janis: [wouldn't have if you had a clue what he was thinking ever but there we go, as is the fake dating era of it all] Jimmy: [it's very much the same for him if it's any consolation gal] Janis: [it ain't for her but it is for us lmao] Jimmy: [we love it soz not soz] Janis: [this is v cinematic] Jimmy: [at least you'll have to get in the lake to get all this mud off so that'll be a #mood too] Janis: [don't get hypothermia though pls] Jimmy: [god it would be so cold I can't even imagine] Janis: [gonna need to snuggle it's the law] Jimmy: [yaaaas, can and will send him back for a duvet if necessary too] Janis: [your school is never being allowed back 'cos of you two lmao] Jimmy: [you're welcome kids of the future who won't have to do all this bollocks] Janis: [tbh] Jimmy: [gonna vote for more rain when they in the lake to make it even more cinematic] Janis: [hundo] Jimmy: [what a beautiful evening] Janis: [we out here in a romcom in all the ways] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [how we keeping this PG-13 bois] Jimmy: [realistically we might have to give you something else to pretend didn't happen lol] Janis: [mhmm agreed] Jimmy: [no stopping that mud moment if we're being real] Janis: [s'what I'm thinking] Jimmy: [what happens on this trip stays on this trip so we'll allow it] Janis: [deal with that later] Jimmy: [you lowkey both think there won't be a later and you'll just not have to deal because he's holding onto that false hope of leaving very hard and you aren't planning to string out this fake dating that long regardless] Janis: [imagine if he left lmao, just never seeing this boy you lost your v to like did it even happen] Jimmy: [I will not imagine that because how sad] Janis: [soz that ain't happening boy but not at all] Jimmy: [it all works out in the end, you're both welcome] Janis: [but for now, what are we doing] Jimmy: [you two should probably get some sleep if you ever get warm/stop snuggling post lake] Janis: [are we separating though?] Jimmy: [they'll sleep better if they're together so it depends how mean we wanna be] Janis: [how you vibing lads] Jimmy: [we could make a case for keeping your distance after all that romanticness but also saying fuck it if you've come this far] Janis: [hmmmmmmm, I'm saying she's down to say fuck it, like you don't need to chat about that either if you just do it] Jimmy: [his room or hers] Janis: [we've woke up in her room once so switch it up for that max coverage] Jimmy: [good idea boo] Janis: [crack on] Jimmy: [have your spoon and get some sleep, you must be knackered]

[preciouslypristinepanda]

Venting Frustration

... not that I know how to talk about my frustration let alone write it into proper words. I can’t write eloquent words, pfft.

But, idk. I’m just in the mood to randomly talk about my obsession with Bruce Greenwood... wait no, Theo! Wait that’s not right, I meant Kal! Ergh, no, no, it’s the asshole David Bell, right? Wrong, it’s totally about Harry - hold on a sec, Nessa, they’re basically sharing the same face claim! Damn. My obssession with Bruce Greenwood isn’t even funny 😭 Binge watching his movies/tv shows obviously isn’t making it any better - I kept coming up with so much plots based on the feels I get from all the characters, waaa 😭 #imagonecase

President Theodore G. Rutherford or Theo as he is affectionately called. God damn it, he’s my favourite out of the five, no wait, six, yeah six characters that I’ve come up with thanks to all my insane feels. He’s easily my favourite for the fact that he managed to ticked off literally everything from my dream guy to marry in a heartbeat list! I basically went crazy and just threw in everything for Theo, all the traits that I love and find sexy as hell, everything that Theo is made up of is solely to satisfy my personal needs, HA! I mean come on, Air Force Pilot who had to resign because of war injuries, Lawyer with a specialty in Constitutional Law though I prefer Criminal Lawyers but it doesn’t fit his plot so the next best thing will do! Bahah. Married a girl with quite a big age difference only because I want to marry an older man too, sniff. Just wants to leisure fly his plane but then his Presidential ambition damn it, loves his expensive liquor and nicotine plus occasionally cigar though it’s obviously unhealthy to finish three packs of cigarettes a day but hey he’s sexy smoking those imported cigarettes, ok!? Can’t even scold his daughter because he’s smitten and would never raise his voice at his little girl. Designs jewelry for his wife because simply buying whatever Cartier can offer is just not good enough! Has the most impeccable fashion sense because wearing tailored suits and well-fitted ivy league outfit is always a good idea for man of his standings... I rest my damn case, here Theodore, have my heart on a gold platter.

And then we have this asshole David Bell.

I stole his surname. In my defense I was drowning in the sea of feels, I had to save myself, ok!? 😭 Marathoning The Resident within a day was the best thing I ever did, well next best thing after creating all the characters #2k18youvebeensogoodtomyfeels AHEM. So, let me just briefly introduce you to one of god’s createst creation that is David Bell - damn I love pronouncing his name - and what makes him worthy enough to be mentioned in this magnificent post of mine, hah. He’s an asshole but a sexy asshole, if he isn’t I wouldn’t be talking about him now, would I? So, David was the preferiti of Perk-Azaria Hospital’s - legit amazing name I came up with, eh? - Chief of Surgery to succeed him way back when he first met his third wife aka the love of his life, Natalie. Yes, he’s a twice divorced man who ended marrying a girl twenty years younger than him, in simple words, he’s a damn craddle robber. But hey, David totally didn’t start the flirting, guy doesn’t even give a shit after the second time seeing his divorce lawyer, lol. Natalie, goodness Natalie, I want to be her in sense that she had the balls to start the flirting, you know? It doesn’t matter that she’s actually Perk-Azaria’s heiress - ok, I kid, it mattered a lot because if she wasn’t David would’ve just indulged and ignored her, hah. - who totally would inherit the hospital one day and being her husband would give so, so much benefit. Of course, her family opposed to it but she loved him and he did eventually fell for her, who would’t!? She’s the definition of perfection, any man would be lucky to have even an inch of her, David is needless to say the luckiest son of a bitch to have her whole. So they married, he got the post he aimed for, life was supposed to be so damn good for them, right? So, so wrong. Throw in affairs, miscarriages, insane ex girlfriend, a brief meeting with death... YEAH. I have one chapter written for DAVID AND NATALIE. Maybe, it’ll be made online, who knows.

Look at that adowable face. Stahp it, Harry 🔥

So, umm meet President Harrison Wyatt aka Harry. He is so damn adorable, I just can’t! I know, I love Presidential characters, I’ve always wondered if it could be considered as a fetish? Hmm. Ahem, anyways, so Harry, goodness Harry. Thank you, National Treasure Book of Secrets - yeah, Nic Cage’s movies suck big time but thank you casting producer for casting Bruce Greenwood as the nerdy President who studied Historical Architecture in Harvard. Sniff. Lemme marry him. Harry’s plot is just so damn interesting. If Theo’s loosely based on JFK, Harry has 9/11 which tbh I know, it’s quite insensitive but I was watching documentaries and I thought of writing something that’s sort of based on it but not so? To clarify, I mean no harm, it’s just that tragedies tend to help when you’re a writer? Maybe it’s just me. I was watching The President’s documentary when the plot came rushing in... I thought, what if, the President was in that tower when it happened? How insane would that be, racing against literally everything just to get him out to safety. And then I saw the 9/11 (2017) trailer - would never watch it probably cause apparently it’s a disgrace to the memories so uh, I’ll skip - and how they’re trapped in the elevator, well hello plot, cue in the President attending a summit held at Sky Tower (yeah, I created my own fictional tower) in NYC when two planes crashed into it, trapping everyone that’s everyone including other leaders attending the damn summit! So yeah, President and his Secret Service details stucked in the elevator whilst the ones outside climb at least twenty sets of stairs to reach the floor they’re stuck on before whatever shit happens and they loose their President. Then when he’s out, that’s when conspiracies and all the dramas start to unfold because guess what? It’s the Generals starting civil war because Harry’s not listening to them... I named the story The Enemy Within, get it, get it? Hee. Oh btw, Harry’s married to a badass wife called Ingrid who looks like Jaimie Alexander circa long hair and also has twin children, Harley Kai who looks like twelve years old Tom Holland in The Impossible and Chloè Rhea whose face I borrowed from my favourite girl ever, Elle Fanning. So yeah, will work on the script, Harry might be threatened to be given a public execution but he made his Secret Service detail promise that he’d kill him before the enemy gets him because no way will he let his wife and children witness him being murdered live on every damn media platform. Yeap.

I love astronauts especially YOU.

Alex Powell, that’s what I named him. Air Force + Astronaut = Nessa is resting in peace. Right, for this plot, his occupation is entirely useless as it’s a horror thriller and I just need to make his CV look super good, ha. Where do I even start!? I mean, it’s all about ancestors evil spirits wanting to kill his daughter by possessing his pregnant wife and making everyone’s life a living hell until help came, epic exorcism before everyone lives happily ever after... or did they not? Who knows.

So uhh... I feel good typing all that. Really good.

[tylerwritez]

Friday June 25 2021

12:33 p.m.

Today was missed assessment day so they wouldn't even let me into the building ...

Me n Star went out walking, first to the dollar store, and I l1fted a black nail polish, a new knife, 5 sparklers, and two metallic sharpies, yes, for mild acts of vandalism, but also to fix my Jeans. I wrote "lucky you" on the inside of the zipper and it came off in the wash lol, so I'm redoing it for Jay to see and maybe laugh, cos it's funny.

We sat in the grass, lit some sparklers, drank diet soda and just Talked.

I told her about how I'd cheated... we broke up last night lol. And ever since we have, it's like the air between us has been cleared.

I told her and I was surprised to see that she wasnt hurt or really upset at all.

She listened intently and asked for the details like how your best friend would. I'm happy she isnt hurt.

This is cos she was kinda already over me and... she had also found someone else. They only did Online stuff so far, his name is Kevin lol. So now we are back to friends, and nothing has been ruined and no one has been hurt, which I take as further evidence that I'm a living breathing good luck charm xD

She likes to pick up cigarette butts from the ground and smoke em with her lighter XD. We saw some cute birds and fed them bread, but while we were... birdwatching??? I found GOLD.

Look, as far as drugs goes, I'm a fresh faced newborn baby. I've only ever vaped... and had a weed tea on accident that did nothing.

But I found gold. A CIGAR butt...  not a cigarette! And by "butt", I mean around HALF! half a chunky cigar on the ground.

I picked it up like, i think i found a cigar butt and she was like omg THATS epic. Her lighter was shit so we got another one and after trying to get it to light like 247466280203939646739292020 times,

We succeeded.

The cigar had been LIT. She shared it with me since I found it and also since a cigar is soemthing special.

A cigarette? Cool.

A CIGAR? the father of all tobacco.

I sorta felt like a mafia dilf mob boss or something smoking it xD, it was spicy, and WEIRDLY SWEET, which Star told me is uncharacteristic of cigars... mustve been a special flavoured one.

It was good XD, I admit it, I'm lame and I know nicotine is so last year, but it was nice, and for like an hour afterward I could taste the sweetness on my lips.

I thoguht about what it would be like to kiss soemone... jay, after that. Would he taste it too? XD

I just had lunch alone in a field in the shade cos its HOT out and now I'm drawing again. I'll head home sOON.

Update: 11:09 p.m.

I just got home XD, brushed my teeth and am currently in bed wishing jay would dm me back faster :( I miss him.

I went out biking with Elle and Erin, since it's summer we can do whatever. We went to a park, joked around from 6:30 to 9:00! Without realizing the time, then got slurpees and went to AJM park to sit in the sunset and talk in that calm peaceful way.

I'm happy to have hung out with MY BESTIESSSS

Now I'm just exhausted XD, I should sleep.

Also apparently condoms expire so i have to check the ones I stole for their expiry date lol, also they're ultra thin... I hope that doesn't mean less durable/more likely to break...

Cos I wanna fuck him, I think about him all the time...

When I told my friends about it they were kinda put off by our age difference but ITS IT'S ONLY 3 YEARS? We met in the SAME CLASS? 18 isnt some magic number where all of a sudden you're a fully grown adult... smh.

Also it's legal, I checked: https://myhealth.alberta.ca/Alberta/Pages/understanding-consent-for-sex.aspx

And I only checked cos they were like UR BEING GROOMED OMG IAN and I think they're just scared cos I HAVE been groomed in the past but... that was a 37ish year old man like... I dont think 3 years age difference is comparable to soemone twice my age 🕺🏻

And I love him and I trust him and I feel comfortable with him.

So anyways. I wanna fuck him.

I'm lowkey dick drunk ever since I went over to his house...

There's just something about his cock that is so fucking sexually attractive like... especially when it gets all hard didhwkwnd I'm sitll thinking of making out with him and grinding on his hard dick and duajkdhkdhkdnt r nf I need to fuck him I lust for his body and I lust to feel his dick stiffen and swell in my mouth...

The CUM..dm,.z.,.z ,owgue0ueiu2

I'm so horny just thinking about HIM. He has a certain demeanor that just. Ugh. FUCK ME. FUCK ME PLEASE.

[magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics]

Wild One - Request

Requested by @josiewinters1999:  Could you do a Dean Winchester one shot where the reader is a little crazy, (drinks, smokes, is willing to do drugs lol) and Dean maybe starts to think he's in over his head dating her but realizes she's just the perfect amount of crazy for him? Thx!

Summary: The reader is a bit wild - drinking, smoking, all that jazz - and Dean is starting to get over his head with her. Will he break up or stay with her?

Pairing: Dean x reader.

Word count: 1,287

Warnings: Excesive alcohol consumption, drunk!reader (for like a second), smoking, mentions of drugs.

A/N: As someone who can’t drink, smoke or do drugs, this fic made absolutely no sense to me in the way that I couldn’t really understand why someone would do that - and I still don’t get it - so forgive me if its a tad bit confusing. Feedback is highly appreciated!

Enjoy!

Once again, the clock had hit 4 am and she hadn’t returned from her “girls-night” which was technically a “girls-week” considering she had been doing it for the past six days, no matter if one of those was Monday.

Dean sighed heavily, rubbing the bridge of his nose on his way out of his room. He walked down to the library, where the lore book he had been reading earlier lied at the wooden table, waiting for him to return.

He flopped on the chair and grabbed the book with two hands, not caring to turn on enough lights but rather just one. He wasn’t too interested in actually reading anyways; he was only doing it to kill time while she came back. However, he couldn’t make himself focus after the last chapter.

She was all over his head, and not precisely the good kind of mental-invasion but rather one where Dean debated his relationship with her over and over again, trying to figure out if she was the right woman to keep by his side.

Of course, there were times that he would prefer to stab her in the middle of the night rather than trying to keep up with her drinking games. He thought his alcoholism was bad before he met her, then he felt good of himself.

Yes, she made him feel good of himself. Especially because she was a lot worse than him and she embraced that, without mentioning how many compliments a day he would receive.

“You’re so strong.”

“Your self-control is so much better than mine, how do you even do it?”

“I wish I was a bit more like you… So selfless and righteous…”

And so many more… But even so, she was a wild one, and her ruthless behaviour and lack of double-thoughts made her an easy target and a disadvantage during the hunts.

Not only because it seemed like she had never grown up from college with all those cheap booze bottles and individual cigarettes – plus the awful curiosity for other substances – but also the childish behaviour she was so proud of.

It was a baby with cigarettes and alcohol, like the one from “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” except she was a lot prettier. Dean would hate going back to bed after a long day to sleep to nothing other than tobacco smell and a tipsy girl.

She wasn’t always like that, or at least Dean didn’t notice it because he was too much in love with her. She would only smoke outside, a few days a week, and would only drink as much as Dean did. She would also not talk openly about her curiosity for drugs.

Dean was usually the type of clean guy. No drugs, no cigarettes and only the kind of alcohol his dad approved. No cheap, whatever-the-brand kind of booze, and definitely never taking it from someone other than the bartender.

(Y/N) on the other hand was completely opposite. She had befriended most of the people at the bars because she would share drinks with her, and not only was that ultra-dangerous for a huntress but it was too irresponsible for anyone.

Dean would go to bed every night with the fear that they would find her body in a bathtub full of ice, with her abdomen ripped open and half of her organs missing… A bathtub in Guatemala.

But she always came back to him and that day wasn’t the exception. A few hours later, (Y/N) stomped her way into the bunker, unable to keep herself from stumbling with her own feet.

“You’re late… Again.” Dean groaned putting the book back on the table.

“Deaaan!” She cheered.

“Where were you?” Dean inquired, as he got up from his chair. (Y/N) stomped her way down to meet face to face with her boyfriend, who looked more like her dad in that dead man’s robe and that authoritarian, you’re-grounded pose. His eyes focused on her, angrily staring her way.

“I met a camel in the bar.” She slurred, “Her name was Misha and it was an antelope.”

Dean couldn’t help but to squint at her words. Of course, he thought they were funny, but they would’ve been funnier if they came from someone else’s lips; not hers.

“How much did you drink, (Y/N)?” She sighed and tumbled her way closer to Dean, wrapping her arms around his neck and letting her weight fall over him.

“Just the usual.” She replied, “And now I need a kiss.”

She puckered her lips and leaned closer, trying to capture Dean’s lips. “Have you been smoking?” Dean asked as he pushed her away. Her breath smelled like cigar and cheap bubble gum. The proximity made Dean notice as well the small particles of ash on her hair, which smelled like smoke and perfume.

“Only a bit.” She giggled.

“I can’t do this anymore, (Y/N/N).” Dean breathed out without forewarning.

His statement sobered her up just like a black coffee would. She pulled slightly away as her face fell down into a worried frown. “What do you mean?”

“I mean… You’re always out, drinking and smoking…” Dean sighed, “I don’t know if I can handle it.”

“Dean…”

“Why do you do it?” Dean inquired sadly.

“We hunt monsters, Dean.” She cried, “We check dead bodies like we were checking some nice-smelling candles at a thrift store!”

“So what? We’re hunters, that’s what we do!” Dean exclaimed.

“Exactly, it is what we do.” She insisted, “Do you even know the nightmares I get? Everyday a brand new body for us to play tickles with it!”

“We’ve been doing this for ages!”

“And I have enough bodies in mind already!” She hissed, “Do you know what it is to close my eyes and see a dead person instantly?”

“Of course I do.” Dean responded.

“Of seeing a body and actually caring for it is a real person… Knowing that you couldn’t save them on time.” She cried.

“(Y/N/N)…”

“No, Dean.” She begged, “Going out and doing things a normal person would is my way of escaping this Hell for just a second.”

“I know but…”

“But nothing, Dean.” She licked her lips, “I need you to understand that this is who I am. I couldn’t finish college because a motherfucking ghost killed my room-mate. I missed that whole partying thing and now I… I couldn’t do it in the past because my place was unsure, but now I have you and a place to crash no matter what. I need to get this off somehow, and if I can have fun while doing it, then I will keep going.”

And in that moment Dean understood that it was her way of getting off every last bit of pain inside her. The one reason for her to be the way she was; so carefree and cheerful. It was a strange way of getting rid of the pain, but if it worked for her, it would work for Dean – he would make it work.

“Sorry.” Dean muttered, “I had no idea.”

“It’s fine.” She smiled shyly at him, “Call me crazy but I think you should come more often with me… You’re become a grumpy old man.”

“Not true.” Dean furrowed.

“Dean, you used to drink as much as me.” She giggled. Dean realized that she was right: he used to drink a lot more and that was exactly why he felt like she was too much of a drinker now.

“Maybe I should.” Dean pouted as he considered the idea. It had been a while since he and (Y/N) went clubbing.

“So you are staying with me?” She inquired flirtingly.

“Yes.” He said, “You’re just the perfect amount of crazy for me.”

*Requests are ALWAYS open.*

Tags: @deanwssister