#and seeing the happiness Pouring from him makes the pain of it worth it

[serpentandlily]

Untouchable IX - Azriel x Reader

Untouchable - Azriel x Rhysand'sSister!Reader

Summary: For as long as you can remember, you have always had feelings for Azriel, your court’s spymaster. But after centuries of watching him pine after your own cousin, hoping he’d eventually move on, your wish came true. He moved on—with Elain, your brother’s mate’s sister. Unable to watch him fall in love with someone else again, you flee from Velaris, from him. But things are a lot more complicated than that—more complicated than you ever imagined.

Warnings: angst, physical torture, violence

a/n: guys, I’m so sorry this part took a long time to come out. I hope this chapter is worth the wait! Part 10 will be the final chapter/epilogue :)

➻❥ Part I ➻❥ Part II ➻❥ Part III ➻❥ Part IV ➻❥ Part V

➻❥ Part VI ➻❥ Part VII ➻❥ Part VIII

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Part IX

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Days might’ve gone by…days…months…years. Time was an elusive being to you. Had been since the moment the mating bond had snapped between you and Azriel. Since that one last second you got to have with him—your mate. 

Koschei kept you strung up in chains, your wrist shackled above your head, your feet barely touching the floor. Your entire body ached with pain. Blood crusted on the white slip he had you put in. 

When he had shadowed you back to his small cabin on the lake, you had assumed he would turn you into one of the swans, like he had with the other girls. But apparently, none of you had ever learned the full story. 

Vassa had certainly never mentioned this part. Not that you blamed her. You wouldn’t want to talk about it either. How he liked to beat the girls he captured, break them in, before transforming them into one of his pets—forever tied to this lake. 

You didn’t want to give up but it was getting harder and harder each day. But you had to. You couldn’t let that day in the clearing be the last time you got to see Azriel…to see your mate. 

A few tears leaked from the corner of your eyes at the thought of him, of how he must be feeling with you gone. Everything you both had wished for had come true only to last for a mere second in time before the universe tore you apart once more. It was cruel. It was… no word could come close to describing it. It couldn’t be the end of your story. You couldn’t let it be. 

The door to the room you were confined in opened and you whimpered at the sight of the sorcerer. 

“Oh, little pet,” he purred, “Are you not happy to see me? And here I thought we were finally making progress.” 

“Fuck you,” you groaned, swaying on your shackles as you tried to distance yourself from him. 

He gave you a serpentine smile. “The stubborn ones are so much more fun to break.”  

You glared at him as he stalked over to you, a cup of water in his hands. You had kicked and bucked the first few times but after all of the torture he put you through the past hours, you had no energy left to do anything but dangle there. 

“Now, are we going to do this the hard way or the easy way?” He held up the water to your mouth but you twisted your head away, slamming your lips shut. “Ah, the hard way it is.”

Excitement filled his eyes as he landed a punch straight in your gut, knocking the air right out of your lungs. You gasped and he grabbed your chin roughly, squeezing the sides of your mouth and making it impossible to snap your jaw shut. 

He poured the water into your mouth but you spit it back up, right on his face. You knew it was full of faebane because this was the third time he had come in here to give it to you.

He growled as he wiped away your spit before slapping your cheek hard enough that your head whipped to the side and blood swelled in your mouth. You heaved, letting it trickle down your jaw and onto the floor. 

He grabbed you by the chin and forced you to face him again, hooking his fingers over your bottom teeth and yanking your jaw open once again. This time when he poured the water into your mouth, he quickly slammed it shut and plugged your nose.

“Drink it,” he ordered. 

You glared at him defiantly but it did nothing to help you as you ran out of air and choked the water down. He let go of you and you greedily sucked in air. 

“Good girl,” he grinned. “See how much easier it is when you listen to me?” 

You said nothing. You couldn’t. Not as the faebane coursed through your body, extinguishing all the magic that had started to replenish as the last batch wore off. Not as your wounds and bruises stopped healing and pain slammed into your body. 

The faebane he liked to give you was partially diluted. Just enough to let it wear off quicker so you had time to heal in between his sessions but not enough to fully heal or get your magic back. He liked working with a clean canvas but didn’t let your magic linger enough to rid you of pain entirely.

Koschei circled around your hanging body and you heard him fiddling behind you. The sound of leather in his palm had you squirming.

“Now, where were we?”

The crack of the whip against your back rippled through your body and you couldn’t fight the scream that erupted from your lips. You squeezed your eyes shut and tried to push your consciousness into the deepest crevices of your mind, where you might find the tiniest bit of solace as one name constantly repeated in your thoughts.

Azriel.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

“I’m not waiting any longer,” Azriel growled at his High Lord. “I’m leaving. Now.”

Both Azriel and Rhysand looked worse for wear. Rhys’s face was littered with bruises and cuts and Azriel was sure he looked no better. But he didn’t care. All he cared about right now was that his mate was in the hands of that fucking sorcerer and he was going to rip that male apart limb by limb for ever thinking he could take her.

“We need to think this through, Az,” Feyre pleaded. “If you rush in, you’ll end up dead and be of no help to Y/n.”

Azriel’s hands tightened into fists. These past two days had been hell. Once Rhys had misted the Prince in the clearing, he had winnowed the three of them back to Velaris—to start planning their rescue mission.

He hadn’t even gotten two words out before Azriel pounced on him. He could barely remember those first few hours after she had been taken. All he knew was the anger he felt—the rage. The mating bond snapping into place. The bargain breaking. And her…his love being taken away from him, his heart and soul with her. 

And Rhys, the fucking asshole, had been at the center of his anger. For making him agree to that bargain with him in the first place. For making him stay away from her—his mate.

It had taken Cassian, Mor and Feyre to pull them apart that day. 

He had stopped starting fights with Rhys but his anger still pulsed under his skin, ready to strike at a moment's notice. 

"We've had plenty of time to think,” Azriel snapped at his High Lady, causing Rhys’s head to shoot up with a warning glare. 

“Watch your tone,” Rhys bit back at him.

“Fuck you, Rhys!” Azriel slammed his scarred hands down on the desk between them. “I’m going and I swear to the Gods if you try to stop me, I’ll rip your throat out!” 

“No, fuck you, Azriel!” Rhys yelled, standing up to his full height. “Stop acting as if you’re the only one affected by this! She was my sister long before she was your mate! Maybe if you hadn’t gone behind my back—” 

“Maybe if you hadn’t made us make that stupid bargain with you in the first place, we would’ve never had to! I could’ve had centuries with her. You stole all those years from us!” 

The second the bond snapped between him and his mate, Azriel swore he lived a whole lifetime. A whole lifetime they hadn’t been afforded. It had all flashed right before his eyes. His mate…His beautiful mate. She deserved so much better than this and as soon as he got her back in his arms, he would give her the whole world. He'd tear the sun from the sky if it would make her happy. 

“Guys, stop! This fighting between the two of you has only made things worse! Fight all you want once we get Y/n back, but you need to focus. Both of you. For her sake,” Feyre snapped.

Azriel ran a hand through his hair, letting out a noise of frustration. His shadows swarmed around him like a monsoon—screaming his mate’s name over and over again in agony. “You don’t understand, Feyre. Every single time I feel her…during those tiny moments she slips through to the bond…all I feel is her pain. He’s torturing her. How am I supposed to sit here while my mate is being tortured?” 

He turned away from them, unable to look at Rhys any longer as a few tears slipped down his cheeks. He had completely and utterly failed his mate. Had let her get into the arms of an enemy. This was all his fault…all of it. She would’ve never even ran away from Velaris if he had never tried to move on with Elain last year. He put those thoughts in her head and there was nothing he regretted more in his life. He had never wanted Elain. He had never even wanted Mor. He had tried, when he thought Rhys’s sister was off limits, to move on. But he had never, ever stopped loving her. He had never felt anything for anyone other than her. 

And she had been ripped away from him before they could even have a life together. 

“That’s it,” Rhys whispered from behind him. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner.”

“What?” Azriel snarled, whipping around. 

“You said you can feel her sometimes—through the bond, right?”

Azriel nodded his head, crossing his arms. 

Rhys stroked his jaw in thought. “He must be drugging her with faebane. But not consistently. There must be small moments when it wears off before he gives her another dose. That’s why you can feel her sometimes.” 

“Where are you going with this?” Feyre asked.

“We can use the mating bond to tell us when to act,” Rhys explained. “When Azriel can feel her, we know her magic is regenerating. We should stop looking at this as battle and more like a stealth mission. We bait Koschei into coming to the water’s edge the moment Azriel feels my sister down the bond—act like we are declaring war. Keep him distracted long enough for her to get back most of her power. Meanwhile, Azriel can slip into the cabin, release her from whatever binds he has her in and get her out.” 

“What about the wards around the cabin? No one can winnow in or out. Even Az’s shadows might set it off.”

“I’ll have to get inside without using any magic,” Azriel said. “I can do it. I can get to her. As long as you keep him distracted and buy me enough time.” 

“Helion has given Y/n some lessons on setting and breaking wards,” Rhys added. “Once she sees you, once she realizes she’s being saved, she can start working on breaking them so she can winnow the two of you out.” 

“And you trust that she’ll be able to do that?” Feyre asked. 

Rhys let out a long sigh. Azriel knew how much it would pain him to have to force his sister to save herself. Rhys had always been the one doing the heavy lifting for their family, always keeping his sister as protected as he could, especially after she almost died. But he couldn’t save her this time. 

He’d need to have faith in her.

“She can do it,” Azriel declared, full of confidence in his mate’s abilities. “She is not that little girl in the woods anymore, Rhys. You’ve trained her. I’ve trained her. She is more than capable of this.”

“I know she’s not,” Rhys whispered. “She hasn’t been. Not for a long time. And I’m sorry, Azriel, I truly am. You’re right. I should’ve never forced you to make that bargain.”

“Save your apology for when I get my mate back,” Azriel spat out. Maybe it was unfair, but he was not ready to accept any apologies from Rhys. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be. 

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

If their plan worked, Azriel would have his mate back in his arms, back in Velaris, safe and sound by tonight. It had to work. It had to work because there was no way he could go through another sleepless night in an empty bed. He needed her like he needed the air in his lungs; he simply could not live without her. He would either be back in Velaris tonight with his mate or six feet under because he wasn’t leaving this damn lake without her. 

The Valkyries are ready, Az. 

Rhysand’s voice in his head caused his fists to clench. He was not any closer to forgiving him than he was yesterday but that was a problem for a different day. Right now they’d have to work together to get his mate back and nothing would stand in his way, certainly not his own pride. 

The plan was simple in theory. They had decided to use Koschei’s weakness against him—females. Some of the Valkyries were willing to help and he trusted their training. If things went correctly, they wouldn’t even need to fight. 

Azriel was crouched, hiding and waiting for the mating bond to begin singing again. He hated that he couldn’t just rush in and take her. Hated that she was likely being tortured as they sat out here waiting for the right moment to begin their plan. Azriel was used to having to wait around like this. It was a part of his job, after all. But right now, it was excruciating. 

But finally… finally he felt it. That tiny spark. That gold thread reforming. 

It’s time, Rhys. 

Okay, wait for the signal. 

They had to lure Koschei out. He couldn’t see though because he was waiting behind the cabin on the other side of the lake, ready to fly to one of the landings so he could sneak his way inside. 

Alright, we’ve got his attention. Good luck, Azriel. Bring my sister home but make sure you come home too.

He couldn’t promise his brother that. He wasn’t leaving here without her, no matter what happened.

I will. 

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

A noise caused you to look up despite the pain the movement caused. Your eyes widened in surprise as a shadowed figure stood in the doorway, blue light emitting from their form. Your vision was going in and out of focus, blurring everything. You blinked one…twice…

The person finally stepped into the light. 

“Az?” You wheezed out.

Azriel swore and rushed forward until he was right in front of you, holding your face in his hands. He was speaking but you couldn’t hear anything through the ringing in your ears. You must be hallucinating. There was no way Azriel was really here in front of you. It was not possible…

“—can you hear me, baby? Fuck, we’ve got to get you out of these chains.”

“Az,” you rasped again, “Is…is this real? Are you real?”

His beautiful hazel eyes met yours again, the emotion swimming in them threatening to tear your heart right out of your chest. Pain, rage, desperation, guilt. Your eyes flooded with tears of relief.

“I’m real. I’m here with you, baby,” he said, rubbing your cheeks with his thumbs. “I’m going to get you out of these chains, okay? And then I’m going to get you out of here.” 

“H-how?” you stuttered out because you had no idea how he was standing here in this cabin when it seemed like an impossible feat. 

“Later. I'll explain later. Do you think you can start trying to take down the wards around this place?”

"I'll try," you whispered but your magic had barely started regenerating. The wounds on your back weren't even beginning to heal yet.

The sound of a door slamming open rang through the house. You let out a whimper and Azriel’s eyes widened in fear as he looked at you but not fear for himself…fear for you. 

“Fuck, we’ve got to go. Now,” he said, frantically. 

The fear in his eyes faded to cold, hard rage and he grabbed the chains above your head and yanked them apart with his bare hands. You collapsed to the ground, crying out in pain, your legs unable to hold you. Azriel caught you on the way down, kneeling with you.

“I’ve got you, babygirl,” he whispered. “I’ve got you.” 

You could still feel the wounds on your back bleeding, some ripping open as you curled in towards Azriel. Your head was still pounding, your body still in agony. Azriel wrapped his arms around you and helped you stand up, letting you lean your entire weight against him. Stomping footsteps were coming down the hallway, almost to the room you were being kept in.

“We need to get out of here,” he was frantically whispering, his hands holding you by the upper arms, your wrists still in cuffs with a bit of the chain attached. 

You stood on shaky legs, raising your head to see Koschei standing in the doorway, his face twisted into a grin that sent chills down your spine.

“Az!”

Azriel twisted around, his wings flaring out protectively to block you just as Koschei sent a blast of dark magic careening your way. It came at the two of you so fast, Azriel was unable to throw up a shield.

You were able to yank Azriel behind a stack of crates just as the wave of darkness clipped his wing. He let out a cry of pain, his entire body tensing as the darkness ripped through tendon and bone. You nearly cried out with him as the wing that was hit fell limp.

“Did you think you could fool me with your little plan, shadowsinger?” Koschei purred out as the two of you hid behind the crates. “Did you think I’d let you steal my pet? You’re a fool!”

Despite the agony he was in, Azriel twisted the two of you around, covering your whole body with his. Another blast of darkness caused the crates in front of you to explode to pieces, sending splinters of wood flying that pierced through any exposed skin and you let out a tiny scream of fear. 

Azriel pulled you up and helped you run further back in the room, unable to leave with Koschei blocking the door. Another blast of magic hit the both of you just as you ducked behind a rack of the weapons and tools Koschei had been using to torture you with. 

You cried out in pain, your jaw smacking against the floor with a sickening crunch. Blood filled your mouth as you pushed yourself up, your whole body aching, turning to make sure Azriel was okay. 

But Azriel had taken the brunt of the hit, shielding your body as much as he could. A deep laceration cut across his torso, blood seeping over his leathers. His body was tense, his wing still limp on the floor. You knew he was holding back his cries of pain for your sake. 

The sorcerer strided into the room, leisurely, as if this was at most a minor inconvenience to him. Darkness seeped from his figure, tendrils running along the floor towards the two of you. 

“I’m going to distract him,” Azriel whispered to you. “You need to make a run for it. The Valkyries will be waiting for you, okay? They’ll help get you home.”

“No,” you cried out, clinging to the front of his leathers. “I’m not leaving you behind, Azriel!”

Azriel stroked your hair, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “You’re going to have to, princess. I need you to get out of here, do you hear me? Get out of here and go as far away as you possibly can. The others will find you, I promise.”

Tears filled your eyes as he held your face with such care and tenderness. His own eyes were filled with that same cold rage and a heavy resolve. You shook your head rapidly.

“I’m not leaving you, Azriel,” you repeated. 

“Why don’t you come on out, shadowsinger?” Koschei called out, his voice filled with amusement. “You can fight me for the girl. I’ll even let you make the first move.” 

Azriel was the most powerful warrior you knew but even he would be no match for a Death God. Facing Koschei would mean certain death and by the way Azriel was staring at you, he knew that. His eyes traced over your entire face as if he were committing it to his memory. 

“I’m so sorry, princess,” he whispered to you, his thumbs stroking away your tears. “I’m sorry for ever making that bargain that kept me away from you but I want you to know that even after all those years, it has always—will always—be you that I love. You were my first and only love and I’m so sorry that I can’t give you the life you deserve. I will find you in the next one, I promise, even if I have to crawl my way out of hell to get back to you. Even if I have to tear apart the universe, I will find you. You are my mate and even death can’t take that away from us. I love you. I will always love you.”

“Azriel,” you choked out, your fingers tightening on his leathers, but he simply placed his hands over yours and lightly tore them from him. “Az, you can’t—”

Azriel cut you off, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips. A kiss full of love and despair. You tasted your salty tears through it, tears that kept pouring at the realization that this was the very first kiss the two of you shared that didn’t cause him any pain.

And it would be your last. 

Azriel stood up as much as he could, his right wing still dragging along the floor. Bruises were appearing on his jaw, blood still poured from the wound on his chest. 

“Azriel, no!” 

You reached out for him, to yank him back, but he stepped away, exposing himself to Koschei.

“Look at you,” Koschei said with a grin, “So ready to die for your love. I’m going to enjoy killing you in front of your mate.”

“Fuck you,” Azriel snarled as he spat out some blood. “If I’m dying here then I’m dragging you to hell with me.” 

Shadows exploded from Azriel in a swirl of never ending darkness that launched itself towards Koschei. But Koschei’s own darkness seemed to absorb it and grow in size before he sent it careening back to Azriel. It burned through the blue shield Azriel had thrown up and knocked straight into him, sending him flying through the room until he collided with the back wall which nearly buckled under the force. 

You screamed out for him, trying to stand but falling once again. You were dehydrated, starved, and beaten within an inch of your life but you pushed your body as much as you could, using the edge of the table to help you stand as Koschei stalked towards your mate.

Azriel had wanted you to disable the wards....If you could do that, if you could tear them down, you could try winnowing to Azriel so the both of you could winnow away before Koschei killed either of you. You were wheezing as you forced yourself to stand and concentrate. You had to do this. You had to get Azriel out of here.

Koschei descended on him once again and they began a battle of shadows and darkness. You could hardly keep track of either of them as they began to disappear and reappear in other places with their shadows, each taking shots at each other. You winced at every noise of their magic colliding, winced at every brutal hit Azriel took from the Death God. 

You could feel more of your magic renewing itself, the open wounds on your back finally starting to heal. As more and more pain wore off, you focused your energy into tearing down the wards, trying to drown out the sound of the fighting in the room for now. 

It was like an intricate spider web of silver light. One you'd have to disentangle carefully to not trigger. You had no idea what sorts of traps lay in the magic around this place. So strand by strand, piece by piece, you worked on taking it apart. It just had to be enough, enough to give you a small window of opportunity. 

You heard Azriel cry out and your focus slipped for a second. You frantically looked over your shoulder and screamed his name as Koschei slammed him into the ground a few yards away. His condition had worsened, his face had gone pale from all the bloodloss, less shadows seemed to be swirling around him as his magic weakened from all the use. You had to hurry. 

“Go,” he rasped out, glancing your way. “Y/n, go—run!”

But you wouldn’t…couldn’t. You couldn’t leave him to face this alone. 

You tried to remember everything from your lessons with Helion on spellcleaving. Tried to remember how to spot what strand to pull and when, as if the ward was a symphony of sorts and you were playing its violin. One after the other. Twisting and pulling each and every way until finally… finally, you were able to carve out a small hole. But it needed to be bigger. Big enough to winnow through.

Suddenly, something sharp struck within your chest and you fell to your knees in pain, losing your concentration. You clutched at your chest, your heart feeling like it was tearing itself into two. A feeling of dread and terror washed over you when you realized the mating bond that was beginning to fray as life was being sucked from Azriel. Another stab of agony made you crumble all the way to the ground, crying out.

You looked up to see Azriel on his knees in the center of the room. His breathing was heavy and slow, he was covered in his own blood, his leather armor torn to pieces and bruises decorated his beautiful face. His wings were slumped on the ground, the right one still nearly shredded. And above him stood the Death God, his darkness wrapped around your mate's throat, ready to squeeze the remaining life out of him. 

Time seemed to pause in that minute—like the whole world was about to collapse in on itself. The breath was sucked right from your lungs. The very fiber of your being was crying at the sight of your mate on death's door, ripping itself apart as you felt his pain like it was your own. Your hand inched on the ground towards Azriel as you weakly called out his name. 

His head turned slightly, his eyes widening as he realized you hadn’t ran away like he had hoped you did. That you were still here with him. He shook his head at you, unable to speak, trying to will you to get up and make a run for it before it was too late. But you would die here with him, because no part of you wanted to live without him. 

They always say your life flashes before your eyes when you're on the brink of death. 

But that is not what happened. 

Instead, a life you never lived did. 

A private mating ceremony with Azriel, declaring your love for each other as a priestess tied a ribbon around both your hands, linking you forever. Azriel painstakingly building a small cottage for you on the edge of Velaris with his own hands just because the ones you toured weren’t like the one you had dreamt of. A life where you and Azriel were together, mated and married, living in that cottage on the outskirts of Velaris. You and Azriel on a balcony watching starfall as he gently placed a hand on your round belly. Azriel with his arms wrapped around you, pressing kisses to your neck as you watched two children who resembled the two of you running through the tall grass in the meadow behind your home. 

A whole life that they two of you could've had. A life that was stolen from you because of a bargain made three hundred years ago. A life you would never get to live because this would be your ending. Two lovers torn apart for centuries, finally able to be together as they wished only to met their demise before their life together even began. 

No.

No.

You pushed yourself up on shaky arms, crawling on your hands and knees towards your mate.

No.

This would not be your ending. You wouldn't allow it. No, too much had been stolen from the two of you and this...this was not how your story together would end. 

You channeled all your magic, pulling from the depths of your soul, pulling from parts of yourself you didn't even know existed, all the way down to the core of your being. You were the Princess of Night—a child of night and shadow, for Gods’ sake. A child born with the darkside of the moon in her. A child blessed with magic. You pulled and pulled at your darkness until it was pouring out of you, seeping from your skin and bones. 

It lurched forward and slammed into the Death God, pushing him away from Azriel—away from your mate. 

Death would not have him today because he was yours. 

Azriel fell forward onto his hands, gasping for air. You stood up, limping over to Azriel and standing in front of him, glaring at Koschei. You didn’t have any armor on, still in the tattered night gown with your wrists shackled together, didn’t even have a weapon, but you had your magic back and it would have to be enough. 

Koschei chuckled, standing up and dusting himself off. Although he had brought Azriel to his knees, the Death God hadn’t escaped without injuries of his own, a testiment to Azriel’s power. 

“You know,” Koschei said, striding towards you. “I thought we’d have more time together—you and I. But it seems like you’re more trouble than you’re worth, child. So now, I shall end you and your mate. Hm, two mates dying together, how romantic.”

“Fuck you,” you snarled, your darkness curling around your form. Azriel was weakly calling out your name from behind you, his hand reaching to grab you so he could push you away but you didn’t let him. 

“You know, this is the most excitement I’ve had in a long time. I’m feeling rather charitable so I’ll offer you this—become one of my swans and I’ll let your mate go.”

Azriel let out a growl from behind you that nearly shook the room but you stepped forward, as if considering it. Koschei’s body relaxed, thinking the fight was over, like you hoped he would. 

But the darkness that was curling around you shot forward like a chain and wrapped itself around his neck before he could deflect it. You yanked on it, causing him to choke as he fell to his knees—in the same exact position he had Azriel in before. 

His hands clawed at the darkness but you didn’t let up, not for a second. Not as that life you dreamed about replayed in your mind over and over again. Not as you thought of Azriel, your mate. No, you wouldn’t let up. You sent all your hatred, all of your anger into that darkness. 

Your darkness spread around the Death God and started shoving its way into him from all orifices, his ears, his mouth. Everywhere until he was being consumed by it. 

“You should’ve never laid a hand on my mate,” you growled at the Death God who was gasping for air and then you yanked your rope of darkness tighter and tighter—ignoring the agony you felt as your magic burned through you until your well was drained entirely. 

Koschei’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and he slumped over finally—crashing to the floor. He…he wasn’t dead. You could still hear his faint heartbeat but he was out cold. You let out a breath of relief.

“P-princess…” 

You whirled around as Azriel rasped your name. His hazel eyes met yours for a second, blinking lazily before they closed and he fell to the ground. You let out a cry of alarm and rushed for him, falling to the ground next to him. You wrapped your arms around his limp body, pulling him into your lap. His breathing was labored, heavy. His heartbeat barely audible.

“Azriel,” you cried, brushing some hair from his face. “Come on, baby. Don’t—you can’t…you can’t do this to me. Wake up, please!”

His eyes blinked open for a second and some of your tears fell on his cheeks. You pressed a hand to the deepest wound on his torso, trying to stop some of the bleeding. 

“H-hey, princess,” Azriel choked out, a soft smile on his lips, still in a haze. 

“Hey, shadowsinger,” you whispered, smiling at him weakly. 

“You’re…,” he coughed, a bit of blood dribbling from his lips. He was in bad shape. You needed to get him to a healer. Now. “You’re touching me.” 

“I am,” you choked on your own sobs, running your hand down his face. You tried to reach out to your brother through your mind. You didn’t have enough magic left to winnow the both of you out of here. 

Rhys…Rhys, please, I need you! 

“Y-you’re touching me,” Azriel repeated, his eyes closing. “And i-it feels like…heaven.”

You couldn’t help the bittersweet laugh that escaped as you wiped at the tears still pouring down your cheeks. 

Dove, I’m here! Are you okay? Where is Azriel?

“Az, I need you to stay awake, okay? Can you open your eyes for me? Please, baby, just for a little longer.”

He’s here with me but he’s in bad shape, Rhys. I don’t have any magic left. I can’t get us out of here. Please…I don’t know what to do.

“Mm…‘mm so tired,” Azriel slurred out. 

“I know, baby, but you’ve got to stay awake. Just for a bit and then you can rest as long as you want to, okay?” 

I’m coming, dove. Hold on. 

You let out a sob as Azriel’s eyes shut again and his breathing slowed. “No, you can’t do this! You can’t leave me, Az. Not when I finally have you. Come on, baby, wake up!” 

Darkness swirled around the cabin and for a second, you thought Koschei had woken up but you sobbed even harder as your brother finally emerged from it. Rhys glanced at the passed out Death God before he saw you holding Azriel on the floor. 

“Rhys, please! Please, he needs a healer,” you cried.

Your brother’s eyes widened at the sight of his shadowsinger. He rushed forward, falling to his knees beside you.

“Let me take him,” your brother whispered. You didn’t want to let your mate go but you knew you couldn’t lift him. “It’s okay, dove. Let me help him.”

You passed Azriel over to him, watching your brother take your mate into his arms and lift him off the floor. You stood on shaky legs, your own vision beginning to blacken as the exhaustion of all the magic use finally caught up to you. The last thing you remembered was Rhys winnowing the two of you to some makeshift camp away from the lake and crying out for Azriel before darkness consumed you. 

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

One week later

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

The sound of the door opening stirred you from your slumber. You sat up with a groan, your back aching because of the way you had fallen asleep—hunched over in a chair, next to Azriel’s bed where he still lied unconscious, as he had been since the day he’d help you escape from Koschei’s grasp. 

You blinked the sleep from your eyes, taking notice of your brother in the doorway. He hesitantly stepped inside the room, closing the door shut behind him softly. You hadn’t spoken to him since you had woken up a week ago. Not when he was part of the reason for all of this, for ever making Azriel stay away from you. 

And he knew he deserved your resentment and had kept away for the most part. But you noticed how sometimes after falling asleep you’d wake up with a blanket thrown around your shoulders that smelled like him or there’d be food waiting for you on the bedside table that you knew came from him. 

You grabbed Azriel’s hand, squeezing it lightly. You felt comforted by his warmth. Madja wasn’t able to tell how long it would take for Azriel to heal. He had taken a lot of damage, all of it mostly internal because of Koschei’s magic, and that was taking far longer to heal. 

You were so scared he’d never wake up. So scared that you never left his bedside. You'd sit here for the rest of your life if you had to. 

Rhysand was staring down at Azriel’s limp body, his eyes swimming with tears. You could see the guilt he felt written all over him. He’d almost lost someone he’d considered his brother because of that stupid bargain he’d made him make. 

He came around the side of the bed until he was standing beside you, resting a hand on your shoulder. Part of you wanted to cringe away from his touch but another part also just really needed him as a brother right now. 

“I am so sorry, dove,” he whispered. “Making Azriel make that bargain with me is something I’ll regret for the rest of my life. I’m so sorry I kept you away from your mate. I’m so sorry for ever thinking it was my right to control who you loved. I understand if you never want to talk to me again—if you hate me now.”  

A moment of silence passed before you stood and looked at him. “Rhys, you fucked up. You really did. I know you were traumatized after mother died—after I almost did, too. What you did has caused me and Azriel so much pain and maybe I’ll be mad at you for it for the rest of our lives but I Rhys, you’re my brother. I could never hate you.”

A small sob escaped from his lips before Rhys pulled you into a warm embrace. You crumbled into your brother’s arms, seeking a type of comfort only he could provide. Your own tears slipped down your cheeks. 

“I’m so sorry, dove. I’ll keep apologizing until I can’t speak. When Azriel wakes up, whatever you guys want, it’s yours—all of it.” 

“I’m so scared, Rhysie,” you cried, burying your face in his chest. “I’m so scared he’s not going to wake up. I’m so scared I’ll never get to talk to him again…” 

“Azriel is the strongest person I know,” Rhys whispered into your hair. “He’s going to wake up, dove. As long as you’re here, he will fight his way through whatever is keeping him from you. He’s going to wake up.”

“I never even got to tell him how much he means to me. I never told him how much I love him or how ready I am to accept the mating bond. I never…I never—”

You fell into a fit of sobs again, unable to even speak. Rhys held you tightly, stroking your back. 

“He knows, dove. He knows how much you love him. And you’ll get the chance to tell him, okay? You will.” 

But all you could do was pray to the Gods that you would get that chance. 

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

A few more agonizing days passed by. Days that seemed longer than the span of your entire life. Days spent next to Azriel’s bedside, praying each and every morning that this would be the day he finally woke. You didn’t lose hope, you couldn’t because just the thought of him never waking up would send you into a spiral so deep, there’d be no pulling you out of it. 

You let out a sigh and dropped your head into your hands. 

Is this how he felt while you’d been chained in Koschei’s cabin?

You still felt so guilty…guilty that you hadn’t trusted Azriel’s reassurances that there was nothing between him and Elain, guilty that you had fallen for the Prince’s cruel trap. If you had just trusted your mate, he wouldn’t be lying here after nearly dying for you. 

“P-prin…p-princess?” 

Your heart leaped to your throat and you looked up so rapidly, you almost cracked your neck. Azriel blinked at you in a daze. His eyes held confusion as he glanced around, realizing he was in his room back at the House of Wind. His beautiful hazel eyes met yours again, glowing gold in the soft faelight. 

“Azriel,” you breathed out, reaching forward to grab his hand. “You’re…you’re awake.” 

“I-I think I am,” he said, his words still slurring a bit. “But you’re touching me and I’m not in pain and normally this usually only happens in my dreams.”

You smiled through the tears sliding down your face, tenderly cupping his cheek. 

“You’re awake,” you replied. “You’re awake and I’m here, touching you and it doesn’t hurt because the bargain has been broken. You are my mate, Azriel.”

A dopey smile took over Azriel’s face. “I’m your mate.”

You nodded with a small laugh. “You’re my mate, Azriel. And I am yours.”

“You are mine,” he repeated softly, then lurched forward like all of his memories finally came back. You jumped into action, helping him sit up.

“Careful,” you said. “You’re still healing. You’ve been asleep for a little over a week now.”

“What! W-what happened?”

You brushed some of his hair from his forehand, running your fingers through it. Now that you could touch each other without causing him pain, you weren’t ever going to stop. He leaned into your touch, looking up at you with such reverence and love, it caused your cheeks to turn pink. 

“I kind of…lost it when Koschei was about to kill you,” you finally answered, your voice a mere whisper. “My magic erupted and I choked him out. I didn’t kill him but it gave us enough time to get out of there. I broke the wards like you told me to and my brother came for us.” 

“Are you telling me that my mate choked out a Death God?” He grinned at you and you lightly smacked his shoulder. 

“It’s not funny, Az. You nearly died! Do you know how awful this past week has been? I…I thought I might never talk to you again. I thought you might never wake up!” 

Azriel lifted your hand and pressed a kiss to your palm. “I know, babygirl. How do you think I felt all those days you were trapped with Koschei? I wanted to get you the minute he shadowed you away but Rhysand wouldn’t let me go.” 

Well, Azriel using your brother’s full name told you exactly how he was feeling towards his High Lord at the moment. 

“I’m glad he didn’t,” you said, sternly. “You would’ve died and I would’ve given up. The only thing that kept me going in there was the thought of you, Azriel. The thought that maybe, maybe I could find my way back to you.” 

Azriel wiped at the tears falling from your eyes, gently. “I’m so sorry, princess. I’m sorry for everything.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I wouldn’t change a single thing if it meant that the mating bond finally snapped between us…if it meant that I could have you now.” 

“I’m yours in any way you want me, princess,” Azriel reaffirmed, yanking you down onto his lap and wrapping his arms around you despite your protests because of his injuries. He placed a kiss on your forehead. “I’m yours from now until always.” 

You pulled away to look him in the eyes, your heart pulsing at everything you found in them. 

“And I am yours, Azriel,” you whispered. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.” 

He smiled, fully smiled. “Good, because I’m never letting you go.”

And then he pressed a passionate kiss against your lips. A kiss free of pain. A kiss that was full of every single emotion he felt towards you—admiration, craving, devotion, but above all else, love.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Taglist:

@kalulakunundrum @going-through-shit @thelov3lybookworm @tinystarfishgalaxy @cat-or-kitten @abysshaven @vhjlucky13 @polli05927 @nightcourtwritings @wicked-mind @mommyyyyyyyyyyyyyy @nightless @a-frog-with-a-laptop @woodland-mist @tothestarsandwhateverend @lizziesfirstwife @e-dollly @hyemishii @pricklepearbloom

@whyonearthisyourusernamethi-blog @bookishbroadwaybish @pinkangelskies @naturakaashi @sofietargaryen @minakay @alexboshallex @amysangel @i-am-infinite @furiousbooklover @glitterypirateduck @valencia-rou @pinkcowracing @marvelpotter @kennedy-brooke @stupidwingboy @foreverrandomwritings @marvelouslovely-barnes @persephonesong @furiousbooklover @dxjaaaa @kristeristerin @naturakaashi @starlightshowdown @torchbearerkyle @emme-looou @wiseheartzombie @moonlwghts @f4iry-bell @imnotsiriusyouare @val-writesstuff @saltedcoffeescotch @toxic-nathyyy @feiwelinchen @bookslut420 @awkwardnerd @mis-lil-red @exhaustedpotat0

@wallacewillow0773638 @elle4404 @bubybubsters @planetwaynez @kemillyfreitas @furiousbooklover @naturakaashi @marina468 @justbattlecriesdear @pyrostatic @running-writing@esposadomd @aria-chikage @rachelnicolee @daeneeryss @inkedaztec @callsign-magnolia @elle4404 @mell-bell @unstablefemme @running-writing @lostinpages13 @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @blessthepizzaman @jenniferpendragon @minnieoo @crazylokonugget @mybestfriendmademe @brandywineeeee @aunicornmademedoit @clara-geekhime @acourtofbatboydreams

@bbuckysbeardd @ithan-holstroms-girl @fightmedraco @strangersundermybed @magicstrengthandcourage @witchymomfrien @isa1b2h3 @wine-kissed @when-worlds-end @hannzoaks @depressedreader209 @dr4g0ngirl @brandinicole911 @fairywriter-oracle @quinzzelx @sweetcarolina-24 @chxosangxl @zeroangelo13 @taeluvspurple @kaysav608 @notfairytaless @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @hiraethjules @florenceivy @nyx-the-alien @agent-anna @lucky7rosie @lilah-asteria @5onedirection5 @slytherintaco @taylorgriffin

[crystallinestars]

NSFW Alphabet - Jiaoqiu

The 2.5 story quest destroyed me, so I wrote this to cope. This is probably the most detailed and longest alphabet I have written so far. Jiaoqiu ended up being kinkier than intended, but I hope you guys enjoy. These HCs take place some time before 2.5.

Jiaoqiu x fem!Reader

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

As a doctor, Jiaoqiu is good at spotting any signs of discomfort in your body and knowing what to do to help you feel better. He usually runs a warm bath with herbs for both of you to soak in to alleviate any soreness or fatigue and clean yourselves up. If a bath is not an option, he’ll wipe you down with a damp cloth at the very least.

Jiaoqiu carefully massages any parts of your body that have been restrained or forced into one position for too long to stimulate blood flow. He's gentle with you, carefully caressing your face and kissing any mark he left on your skin as if saying sorry for being too rough on you. He also makes you drink water to keep yourself hydrated.

He’s very caring toward you but can underestimate or ignore his aches and pains, so he appreciates it when you return the favor and take care of him, too.

If he’s not too tired, Jiaoqiu also whips up a simple but delicious meal for you to enjoy and regain your stamina if either of you has business to attend to afterward.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Jiaoqiu likes to joke that he’s perfect all over—from his looks, down to his abilities— but if he were to be serious, the foxian would choose his hands as his favorite body part. Despite the war making him doubt his worth as a healer, the fact remains that his hands saved the lives of many soldiers. Moreover, his hands allow him to cook delicious and nutritious dishes for others to enjoy and seeing their happiness at eating his food brings Jiaoqiu a sense of satisfaction. Being able to touch and caress your body is also a huge plus, so how could he not favor his hands?

On you, he adores your face. More specifically, your facial expressions. Don’t get him wrong, he finds you very pretty from head to toe, but Jiaoqiu simply loves the various expressions you make. Whether it’s the way your face lights up in delight when eating his cooking, or how your brows scrunch and lips purse into a thin line while glaring at him for teasing you, or the way you wince in pain when sampling his super spicy dishes, or the soft way you look at him when saying you love him—Jiaoqiu adores them all. Even if you’re not very expressive, Jiaoqiu will try his best to get a reaction out of you because he likes seeing the different sides of you. Plus, the expressions you make when orgasming or when he pleasures you also fill him with pride. He likes knowing he makes you feel good, and that these cute faces of yours are reserved for his viewing pleasure only.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Jiaoqiu’s semen is an off-white color and has a jelly-like consistency. His cum tastes a bit salty.

Jiaoqiu enjoys filling you with his cum or painting your skin with it (especially your lower belly or back), though he does have a slight preference for ejaculating inside you, be it your pussy or mouth. He also enjoys pouring his cum onto bits of good and feeding them to you (more on that in the kinks section).

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Jiaoqiu won’t tell you outright, but he has a keen nose and can smell where you are in your menstrual cycle. Your needy scent during your most fertile period increases his horniness, so he tends to get more handsy with you during that time.

He can also smell when you are about to get your period, and preps for it by cooking dishes infused with herbs meant to alleviate cramping and pain.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Before joining the war as a medic, Jiaoqiu did have one partner he was intimate with, though the relationship did not last long. As such, he has a bit of experience. It’s not a lot, but it’s enough for Jiaoqiu to know what to do.

Even so, he pays careful attention to your guidance and reactions when having sex. He may have experience, but he knows each person has different preferences, and he wants to learn all the ways you like being touched so he can cater to your needs.

As a doctor, he’s very knowledgeable about the body, so he knows which areas can bring great pleasure when stimulated just right. There’s a good chance he will find an erogenous zone on your body that you didn’t even know you had.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Jiaoqiu really likes positions where you’re on top. Cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, lotus, etc… are all ones he likes because he can sit back and let you do most of the strenuous work. He keeps his hands securely on your hips and helps guide you up and down his cock, admiring the view of your body bouncing on his lap.

Additionally, he is fond of spooning. Laying on your sides with his elbow under one of your knees, hiking your leg up in the air while he leisurely thrusts into you is both comfy and hot for him. It also allows him easy access to kiss and mark your neck or shoulders, and whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

Jiaoqiu also enjoys upright doggystyle and pronebone. Regular doggystyle is fine, but he likes to press your back flush against his chest, wrap his arms around your waist, and rest his chin on your shoulder so he can watch how your jaw goes slack and eyes glaze over while he fucks you nice and deep. After all, he loves to watch your expressions of pleasure.

The foxian is a bit possessive, particularly when he’s feeling jealous or horny from smelling you during your fertile window. Pronebone is a great position for him because it makes him feel like you’re his and his alone. Trapping you under his weight, fucking you deeply while marking your neck, shoulders, and back in bite marks gives him a primal sense of satisfaction.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Jiaoqiu can be a little goofy or serious depending on your needs, but he’s typically a nice blend of both. He tries to keep the mood lighthearted with an occasional harmless taunt or tease to get a reaction out of you, but he doesn’t overdo it. He approaches sex responsibly, and does his best to relax you and take your feelings seriously. It’s important to him that you enjoy the experience, after all. If a little joke or a whispered reassurance helps you feel more at ease, then he’ll do whatever is necessary to make you comfortable.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He has a bush of curly pink hair down there that he keeps neatly trimmed, but it lacks the ombré of the rest of his hair. It’s one solid, dark pink hue.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Jiaoqiu isn’t one to wax poetic during sex, but he does bring his version of romance into it. You can feel his love for you mainly through his actions. His touches are always gentle, never rough or bruising. His lips leave kisses all over your skin, covering your face, neck, shoulders, and back in a branding of love.

Jiaoqiu always holds you close to him, desiring the feeling of your bodies pressed flush together as you make love. Whether you’re on top or he is, his hands gravitate toward your body and trace the contours of your figure, admiring how he can call someone as beautiful as you his lover. He didn’t think he would fall in love again after the war left him so numb and afraid of attachment, but you and Feixiao helped to heal his wounded heart, for which he is forever grateful. He holds you in high regard for you made him feel alive with your mere presence and touched his heart deeply where he thought nothing but ashes remained.

Jiaoqiu likes to cup your face when you have sex and trace his thumb along your cheek in a tender gesture. Even if you look like a drooling mess from what he’s doing to you, he gently cradles your face and murmurs how cute you look before leaning in for a sweet kiss. The healer is always loving toward you, even while engaging in kinkier play.

On the occasions where you two have romantic sex, Jiaoqiu lets his guard down and exposes his vulnerable side. He seeks comfort in your closeness, treating your body with gentleness and reverence, and feels overwhelmed in a good way when you treat him just as tenderly in return. Times like these result in slow lovemaking and whispered “I love you”s where he holds your hand and touches his forehead to yours, your gazes meeting. During such moments, Jiaoqiu is more vocal about his feelings, murmuring quiet compliments and praises about how happy he is to be with you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Jiaoqiu has a healthy sexual appetite, and masturbates about three times a week, mainly as a way to relieve stress. That number went down once he entered a relationship with you since he finds sex more fun than jacking off by his lonesome.

When he wants to masturbate, Jiaoqiu chooses moments when he’s completely alone, though he still muffles his voice just in case. He likes to start slow, leisurely pumping his cock to stoke the flames of desire in his abdomen, before speeding up and gripping his dick tighter. He sometimes uses toys to help him reach release faster, like vibrators or warming lube for the added sensation.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Jiaoqiu is a switch. He’s comfortable being dominant and taking the lead in the bedroom, enjoying having you at his mercy. Likewise, he can be submissive and find relief in relinquishing control and being taken care of, but can be a bit bratty as a sub due to his sharp tongue.

As a foodie, it’s no surprise that he enjoys food play. Garnishing your body in tasty morsels and drizzling sauces (not spicy) over your skin makes you look like a delicious treat. Like a hungry cat, he licks his lips before diving in to consume the food off your body, licking up every crumb. He loves your body, and he loves good food, so having both at the same time is like heaven.

Aside from decorating your body with food, he also enjoys the idea of covering food in your or his cum. He likes gathering up some of your slick onto a bite of food, like a strawberry, before consuming it. Similarly, he likes smearing some of his ejaculate onto food and feeding it to you with his cum acting as garnish.

Along with food play, Jiaoqiu is into temperature and sensation play. He likes blindfolding you and watching your reactions to him running feathers, ice cubes, warm towels, his tail, and many other textured items along your skin and erogenous zones. He’s also a fan of receiving this treatment since his other senses become heightened with the loss of his sight, and the stimulation feels novel and exciting. If you stimulate his erogenous zones using this method, he’ll become aroused quite quickly.

Additionally, Jiaoqiu enjoys mirror sex. As much as he loves reverse cowgirl and doggystyle, these positions obscure your pretty face from him, and it’s a pity because he loves your facial expressions. The perfect solution to his dilemma is to have sex in front of a full-length mirror. It allows Jiaoqiu to see how your face slackens with pleasure, how you bite your lip to muffle a moan, or how your eyes roll back when he hits a good spot. He doesn’t want you to miss out on how ravishing you look, so he cups your chin and gently guides your head to make you look in the mirror and see the debauched state you’re in, murmuring for you to watch how well you take his cock.

Another one of his kinks is hair-pulling. He enjoys it when you lightly tug on his hair, whether when he’s got his face buried between your legs or during sex. He sometimes lets out a soft growl when you do that.

Jiaoqiu enjoys a bit of pain. He mainly prefers things like biting, hair pulling, or electric shocks to get that high, but can handle whipping and spanking if you’re gentle with him. Despite his attraction to pain, he doesn’t enjoy rough treatment. He can also enjoy light choking (receiving) provided you can do it safely and build up trust with him.

To add to the long list, Jiaoqiu also likes light bondage with scarves or handcuff (giving and receiving), and if you’re willing, he’s interested in trying shibari on you. Some of his other kinks are biting and marking, edging, blindfolds, and dirty talk.

However, not every session with Jiaoqiu is this kinky. He does enjoy vanilla sex where you can both just relish in the intimacy and romance of the connection, sharing sweet kisses and tender touches.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Jiaoqiu prefers having sex at home where things can be kept private and he has access to all kinds of equipment to spice up your sessions. He wouldn’t risk doing it in other places and potentially getting caught since he has an image to maintain as Feixiao’s retainer.

At home though, almost every room is fair game except the kitchen. Jiaoqiu considers the kitchen his workspace and doesn’t like the idea of having sex where he works to make medicine. Otherwise, places like the couch, office desk, and bathtub are all potential lovemaking spots, though he does prefer the bed since it makes it easy to cuddle and fall asleep afterward.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Usually, when you stroke Jiaoqiu’s ears, he feels a sense of peaceful relaxation, but if you rub the sensitive spot at the base of his ear or run your fingers along the rim of his ears just right, the pleasurable tingles can become arousing for him.

He also gets turned on by your obvious desire for him. Give him a few sensual caresses, whisper a tasteful innuendo in his ear, a lustful look, and his interest is piqued. He finds excitement in a sexually charged game of cat and mouse, regardless of which one of you is chasing or being chased.

Jiaoqiu can smell when you're ovulating. The scent is weak, but his sharp nose can pick up on when you're feeling horny, and it influences his libido. As mentioned previously, he can get more handsy with you during that time.

Another thing that arouses Jiaoqiu are your reactions to his teasing. If his teasing manages to fluster or arouse you, he’ll keep pushing your buttons to make you even more flustered. Something about your flushed cheeks, shallow breaths, and wavering voice makes him want to tease you more and get a greater reaction out of you. You look so cute when flustered, positively adorable, even. Just how much cuter would you look and sound if he touched your chest? Kissed your neck? Made you moan? Why don’t you show him, darling~?

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Absolutely no sharing. Jiaoqiu gets jealous easily, so threesomes get a hard no from him. He is also prideful, and dislikes being humiliated or degraded. It’s an instant turn-off for him.

Although he's okay with being hurt, he won’t do things that might harm you, such as asphyxiation, impact play, or knife play. He’s a healer—he could never bring himself to hurt you that way, even if you begged him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Jiaoqiu loves eating not only hotpot but also pussy. He could spend hours between your legs, burying his tongue into your cunt and lapping at your slick. He wants to see you fall apart under his mouth, so he snakes one arm around your hips and pins them down, taking your clit between his lips. He softly sucks on it while deftly flicking his tongue over the bud, ears twitching when he hears you moan.

To truly bring you over the edge, Jiaoqiu slips two fingers into your dripping cunt and curls them to find that roughly textured spot he knows will make you keen for him. The dual assault of his mouth and fingers never fails to make you see stars as you orgasm, and Jiaoqiu opens his eyes to soak in the sight of you unraveling under his touch. It turns him on to see you feel this good because of him, and he can’t get enough of the experience, so he ends up eating you out for a while longer, making you come undone over and over until you’re tugging at his hair to spare you from the overstimulation.

He’s always breathless by the end, face glistening and dripping with your juices, but the look of desire in his golden eyes promises he’s not through with you. Not when you’ve got him so hard and aroused from watching you fall apart on his tongue.

If you want to return the favor, the foxian healer will be more than happy to watch you go down on him. When you blow him, Jiaoqiu tends to be more vocal, unable to fully hold back his soft sighs and strained moans. If you rub the base of his tail while sucking him off, he’ll buck into your mouth with a soft hiss of your name.

Jiaoqiu has a tendency to keep at least one hand on your head while you work your mouth along his cock, guiding your pace or gripping your hair when he feels his orgasm approaching. The closer he is to orgasm, the more he will squirm, running his hands through your hair, gently urging you to take him deeper or bucking his hips into your mouth. Jiaoqiu's usually sly smile gets replaced by a flushed, slack-jawed expression of pure pleasure, tail lashing in excitement behind him. However, he still tries to maintain his composure and murmurs gentle encouragements and praises so you'll keep going, before his words get cut off by a choked moan as he spills down your throat. He also goes weak in the knees when you suck his testicles.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Jiaoqiu likes to take his time with foreplay, prolonging it for as long as possible, but for the actual act, he enjoys a more moderate pace. On a rare occasion, he might play around with the speed of his thrusts, going from moderate, to slow, to fast just to tease you, but overall, he likes to maintain a moderate and steady space. Not too slow to the point it feels teasing, yet not too fast so you won't wear yourselves out too quickly.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

As mentioned above, Jiaoqiu likes to take his time with foreplay and draw out the session, but he can be convinced to go for a quickie if you show your strong desire for him. Though if either of you are horny enough to want a quick fuck, Jiaoqiu would prefer to settle it with oral sex.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Jiaoqiu is willing to take risks in the bedroom to an extent. He’s eager to try new things to see if there’s something either or both of you can discover you like, but he isn’t willing to have sex in public places or get rough with you. He would much rather be the one treated roughly than hurt you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

This foxian healer doesn’t exercise much, so his stamina isn’t high. He lasts an average amount in bed and goes for only one round, but his foreplay is usually drawn out for quite a while, making the session lengthy. Sex is more than just the act of copulation, he says. Foreplay is just as important, if not more so.

If he’s under the effect of an aphrodisiac, then Jiaoqiu lasts another 1-2 rounds, but he becomes dead tired afterward and is likely to pass out quickly once it's over.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Jiaoqiu owns a few toys for himself, mainly a bullet vibrator. The vibrating sensations against his cock and other erogenous zones provide a powerful stimulation that gets him going.

For you, he has a whole box of toys he want to try. Blindfolds, handcuffs, vibrators, dildos, anal plugs, electric wands, etc… He’s eager to test them out on you to see how you’ll react. Will introduce toys he thinks you might like into your sessions, though you don’t have to accept them if you don’t want them.

He’s not opposed to you using toys on him, particularly the electric wand, wax candles, and handcuffs. He might put up a fuss, but he does enjoy it when you play with and stimulate his body. Just make sure to properly care for him afterwards.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Jiaoqiu loves teasing others, and you are no exception. He enjoys messing with you in your daily life to see your reactions, but he loves teasing you during sex even more. He teases you by tying you up and stimulating your sensitive spots with sex toys or feathers, giving you just enough pleasure to feel good but not enough to make you orgasm, until you’re writhing and begging for more stimulation. While fucking you, Jiaoqiu can also switch up the pace of his thrusts from moderate to slow or completely still just so he can hear your frustrated whines and watch you desperately push your hips back against his, before suddenly pounding into you at a quick pace.

Jiaoqiu is even better at verbal teasing, particularly while edging or fucking you silly. He might say “Oh my, there’s drool running down your chin. Does it feel that good?” Or “You’re dripping wet, dear. Can you feel how easily my fingers slide inside your pretty pussy? Aeons, you’re squeezing them so tightly, do you want me inside you that badly?” and the like.

If you decide to tease him back, it’s best that you’re nice about it. Jiaoqiu might kick up a fuss at first since he’s more used to teasing than being teased, but he can enjoy having you tie him up and run your hands along his body or stimulate him with sex toys. However, he doesn't take kindly to being edged for a long time because he gets impatient and frustrated easily for being denied. The next day, he'll cook a super spicy dish full of foods you dislike and makes you eat it as revenge, or he'll edge you to oblivion the next time you have sex.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Jiaoqiu has two modes depending on who is in control. If he’s dominating, he’ll have better control of his voice and will let out grunts and soft moans. He also talks a lot, making teasing comments or talking dirty to rile you up.

If you’re dominating, he’ll be whinier. He lets out choked gasps, quiet hisses, and louder moans. Will also try to shake your control by responding with witty retorts to your teasing, but if you successfully maintain your authority, he’ll reluctantly submit and whine.

In either scenario, when he gets close to orgasm, his voice turns breathless and obtains a raspy quality, and he tends to call out your name.

Jiaoqiu is a huge fan of hearing your voice. Even if you're the quiet type, he does his best to make you moan louder because he loves hearing you feel good. If you moan his name, it riles him up so much that he has to resist the urge to cum on the spot. He really loves hearing you call his name in that wanton voice.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Jiaoqiu knows how to make aphrodisiacs. If anyone’s watched The Apothecary Diaries where Maomao made aphrodisiacs, it’s similar to that. Jiaoqiu makes chocolate or chocolate-covered fruit (or another kind of dessert if you’re not a chocolate fan) with aphrodisiac properties. He likes the idea of using aphrodisiacs to occasionally spice up your sex life, but he only gives them to you with your explicit awareness and consent. He would never sneakily give it to you.

Jiaoqiu can adjust the dosage and potency to make the aphrodisiac quick or slow acting, stronger or weaker, etc… depending on the kind of sex you’re looking to have. It’s so much fun to watch how your gaze clouds over and your behavior changes once the aphrodisiac kicks in. He loves seeing you needy for him, it’s a massive turn-on. Whether you pin him down and have your way with him or become a needy, pliant mess for him to do with as he pleases—either outcome is fun. He just loves feeling desired by you and making you crave his touch. 

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Has a slender cock with a slight upward curve and a couple of prominent veins along the underside. 11.5 cm (4.5 inches) in length and 10 cm (3.9 inches) in girth.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Jiaoqiu has a healthy sexual appetite and craves sex a few times a week. However, due to his busy life as Feixiao’s retainer and personal healer, he’s sometimes too drained to engage in lovemaking as often as he’d like. Still, he tries to squeeze in some intimate time with you 1-2 times a week. Even if they're not frequent, the sessions last a long time due to his love for foreplay, so it is usually enough to satisfy his needs.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If he has nothing to attend to afterward, Jiaoqiu will help you clean up and then cuddle under the sheets. Even when he feels the pull of sleep, he resists it so he can enjoy the afterglow with you. During moments like these, he likes to chat about anything and everything, like how your day went, which dishes he plans to cook for you tomorrow, what hotpot place you should visit during a future date, the silly shenanigans he got up to with Feixiao and Moze that day, etc… it’s just a sweet time to catch up before you both succumb to sleep.

When settling in to sleep, Jiaoqiu likes to spoon. He’s fine with being the big or little spoon, though has a slight preference for big spoon because he likes burying his nose in your hair and smelling your scent. It’s comforting to him. If he senses you're about to fall asleep, he kisses your forehead and wishes you goodnight before hugging you closer and covering you with his tail.

He also lets you gently pet his ears or tail, finding the caresses soothing after a strenuous round of sex. If you’re gentle enough, your touch can relax and lull Jiaoqiu to sleep. Though it might be hard to tell he’s asleep at first glance due to the natural state of his closed eyes, his lack of verbal responses and slow, even breathing will give him away.

[4linos]

when the walls crumble

lee felix x gn!reader

synopsis/request: felix’s stubbornness leads to a fallout with the person who cares about him most. in the aftermath of their argument, he must confront the consequences of his actions and decide what truly matters.

wc: 1341

For weeks, Felix has been pushing himself harder than usual. He has been working 24/7 with the group, practicing, recording, attending meetings, and putting in long hours of physical activity despite his back pain. The strain was becoming clear to you, despite Felix's attempts to hide it.

His usual happy personality became more subdued, his smile less frequent, and he began holding himself in an uncomfortable way, wincing while standing up or sitting down. You, as someone who loves him, observed the little details: the way he'd touch his lower back after long practices, or how he'd neglect breaks, pushing through the discomfort because he didn't want to slow anyone down. But what hurt you the most was the way he ignored any concerns you had.

He was always the one who looked out for everyone else, so seeing him suffer and refusing to listen to his own body seemed like a betrayal of his own well-being. You worried that if he kept going this way, it might lead to something far worse. But Felix, ever determined, refused to admit it. He had this hidden pride, a desire to prove his own worth even if it meant concealing his sorrow. The night of the argument was just like any other in recent weeks. Felix had gotten home from a late practice, dragging his tired body into the living room, exhausted but unwilling to stop. You had dinner ready, but Felix looked distant and deep in his thoughts. You tried to engage him by asking how his day went, but he just gave tired comments. You tried to ignore it, but something inside you snapped. The worry that had been building up inside of you for so long could no longer be suppressed. "Felix, we need to talk," you said, your voice faltering slightly. Felix looked up, slightly confused but not yet really understanding the gravity of the situation. "About what?" he asked, seemingly distracted rather than concerned.

You took a deep breath and, for the first time, let your concerns out. "I'm really worried about you," you added, speaking faster than you planned. "Your back has been bothering you lately but you keep pushing yourself like it's nothing. It isn't nothing, Felix. You're hurting yourself, and I can't keep watching you do it." Felix quickly reacted. His natural instinct was to shut down and conceal his sensitivity. "I'm okay alright? There is no need to worry. You're overreacting," he said, his voice defensive.

But it wasn’t enough. The words you had been holding in for days burst out. “No, it’s not nothing! Felix, you're in pain, and you keep pretending like it doesn’t matter. You think it’s not a big deal because you’re trying to push yourself to the limit what for? So you can impress someone? Or are you doing this for your fans?”

You shook your head, stepping closer, trying to make him understand. “You’re not invincible, Felix. You can’t keep doing this to yourself. I’m scared you're going to hurt yourself in ways that can’t be undone. I can’t just sit here and let you destroy yourself because you won’t listen to me."

But Felix wasn’t hearing it. Instead, frustration poured out of him. “I know my body better than anyone else, okay? Stop treating me like I’m fragile. I can handle this! You don’t get it. I can’t slow down, I can’t—” He broke off, his voice rising. “I don’t want to slow down! This is my dream, my life! I can’t just sit back and stop because you’re worried about me.”

The words hit you like a slap. His persistence, his desire to keep pushing himself, felt like a personal rejection of your concern for him. He was dismissing whatever you said, as if your concern was just an irritation to him. The pain welled up inside you, and before you could stop yourself, the words poured out. "Do you know what, Felix? Fine. Maybe I'm the one who doesn't get it. Maybe I'm too worried. Maybe you're right. You don't need anyone to watch out for you. Maybe you truly do know best, even if it is hurting you!" You took a sharp breath, the anger now fully bleeding into your words.

Felix froze, his body tense as he absorbed the sting of your words. For a long moment, the room was filled with silence, thick and suffocating. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. And with that, you took a step back, your voice quieter but bitter. "So, who am I to say anything? I'm just too worried, right? Someone who has no idea what is best for you. Fine. Do what you want. It's not like it matters anyway."

You stormed out of the room before Felix was able to react, leaving him taken aback and speechless.

The next morning, Felix woke up to the weight of the argument hanging over him. He tried to shake it off, tried to focus on work and rehearsals, but everything felt like a blur. His body ached more than usual, and his mind kept replaying your words. He knew he had hurt you. Deeply. But he didn’t know how to fix it.

At work, he tried to focus on the task at hand, but your face kept flashing through his head, your words becoming louder with each passing instant. You were only trying to help, to make him see that he was worn out, but he had pushed you away. He had been so headstrong, so determined to prove something, that he had neglected to care for the one thing that truly mattered: his relationship with you.

He saw you as he was leaving for a meeting and walking past your desk. You were staring at your screen, eyes red-rimmed and visibly upset, when it hit him like a ton of bricks. You were still hurting, and it was his fault.

Felix approached you gently, his chest tense with regret. "Hey," he whispered quietly, just above a whisper. You didn't look up at first, too proud or hurt to recognize him, but Felix stretched out and gently touched your arm. You looked up, and for just a moment, the vulnerability in your eyes cut through him. "I'm really sorry," he murmured, his voice shaking. "I shouldn't have said those words. "I was just... I was being an idiot. I know you were just trying to help, and I should have listened. I shouldn't have shut you out."

You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself. "Felix… I just want you to be okay. I don't want to keep watching you hurt yourself when I know you're struggling. I care about you, and I can't just sit there and pretend it's not happening." Felix's stare softened, and he took a step closer, putting his hand on yours. "I care about you, too. I was stupid to push you away. I will take better care of myself, I promise. I don't know what I'd do without you. Please never believe that I don't appreciate you looking out for me."

You sighed, the weight on your chest starting to ease. “I’m just scared, Felix. I’m scared that one day, I’ll watch you do something irreversible, and I won’t be able to stop it.” Felix’s grip tightened, a vow in his voice. “You’ll never have to. I’ll listen from now on. I’ll let you help me. I just… I just need you with me.”

The air between you both seemed to calm. You let out a shaky breath and squeezed his hand back. “We’ll get through this together. But you have to promise me you’ll take care of yourself too.”

Felix nodded, his eyes locked onto yours with sincerity. “I promise.”

You leaned in and wrapped your arms around him in a tight embrace. Felix hugged you just as tightly, his heart lightening with relief. Despite the hurt and the argument, you both had a quiet understanding that would help you navigate the future together.

//

masterlist

[harrywavycurly]

Worth The Fight: Civil

Masterlist: Here

CW: language, arguing, angsty bits, pregnancy things

A/N: This one is a necessary sort of painful because we all know Harry needs a wake up call and this might just be it✨

Tag List: @kookjipao @msolbesg @lomlolivia @namoreno @outofthisworl-d @mema10 @watarmelon212 @natykn @sassamanda77 @st-ev-ie @ghayda0 @hannah9921 @indierockgirrl @chaoticthoughts2022 @lizsogolden @gmikaelson @styleswithaseaview @sofaritsalrightt @babegoals @fangirl509east @one-sweet-gubler @stylesftcher @umadirectioner @last-saturday-night @montgomery-929496 @laughterismytherapy @hisparentsgallerryy @jerseygirlinca @behindmygreyeyes @mads3502 @tpwkdpr @unfuckwitablenarry @itscoucouharry @latedirectionerera

Summary: You ask Harry if he really wants to be a dad and it makes him rethink somethings everything and ends up with him having a impromptu therapy session with one of his bestfriends while you as usual pour your heart at to the only man that listens, Paris✨

Harry let’s out a groan as he tosses his phone onto the couch as he walks into his living room, not bothering to look to make sure it landed safely because right now he sort of wants to throw it at the wall and watch it break into pieces. Niall raises an eyebrow as he observes Harry from him spot on the loveseat, he watches with only a small amount of concern as Harry runs both hands through his hair giving it a few tugs as he lets out a frustrated sigh. Niall knows better than to ask questions when Harry is in one of his moods so he just sits back and lets his bestfriend pace the length of the couch with furrowed brows and what Niall would call an angry looking snarl on his face as if he’s fighting off the urge to hit something with the hands that are now balled into fists at his sides.

“Have you ever met someone who just,” Harry lets out a noise of pure aggravation as he pauses his pacing to look at Niall. “Makes you so irritated by just the simplest little thing but at the same time you don’t want to be mad or angry at them you just want to be around them and they-they keep making it impossible?” Niall rubs his lips together and nods as he watches Harry try his best to vocalize how he’s feeling in this exact moment.

“You mean someone who makes every emotion you feel seem like it’s dialed all the way to eleven?” Harry quirks a brow at Niall’s question as he places a hand on his hip. Niall just chuckles as he takes this as a queue to explain himself further.

“Like when you’re happy with them you’re the happiest you’ve ever been but when you’re mad it’s as if all you can see is red and you want to punch every wall in the house just to make yourself feel better and sometimes it’s like you’re always sort of mad at them and you don’t know why?” Harry nods his head as he turns and grips the back of the couch as he looks at Niall who seems to understand a bit of what Harry is going through right now emotionally.

“Yes it’s as if the only emotion I can feel around them is annoyance and it’s driving me mental.” Niall gives him a reassuring smile making him narrow his eyes into a glare at his friend who just laughs in response.

“Yeah Harry I’ve met someone like that.”

“What did you do about how they made you feel?”

“I asked her to be my girlfriend.” Harry feels his cheeks get pink at Niall’s answer, not expecting the person he was talking about to be his current partner. “Been going strong for a few years now so I’d say maybe get your head outta your ass and just ask this person out?” Niall suggests with a shrug making Harry let out a scoff as his grip on the back of the couch tightens.

“You’ve gone fully mental if you think that’s the solution to my problem.”

“The problem is you’re just mixing up your emotions that’s all.”

“What does that mean? I’m pretty sure I know the feeling of being irritated quite well thanks to sharing a tour bus with you for almost six years of my life.”

“I’m sure she’s irritating you but you need to take a look at why she’s making you feel like this. You said it yourself you just want to be around her and she’s making it hard right? How is she making it hard exactly?”

“Because she always has to be right and most of the time she is and instead of just acknowledging the fact she’s right I for some reason choose to say the stupidest shit and I end up back at square one.” Harry let’s out a sigh as he hangs his head down and closes his eyes as his mind flashes back to the conversation he just ended with you over text and how he just couldn’t admit that you needing time to forgive him for what he’s done is okay, he had to go and be the asshole you’ve grown used to him being.

“You wanna know why I think you really say the stupid shit you do to this poor girl?” Harry doesn’t bother to look up or open his eyes as he nods his head making Niall let out a sigh as he leans forward and rests his forearms on the tops of his thighs. “I think it’s because you’ve pushed your real feelings for her so deep down into yourself that the only emotions you have left to feel around her is anger and irritability. Not to mention you do bloody fucking hate admitting when someone else is right so her being right all the time probably makes you annoyed and it triggers you to say stupid and hurtful shit.” Harry slowly raises his head and opens his eyes so he can look at Niall who is already staring right at him.

“When the hell did you get to be so smart about all this kind of stuff?”

“You’re not the only one who goes to therapy you jackass.”

“Well it’s working wonders.” Niall just rolls his eyes as Harry bites his bottom lip as he tries to make a little sense of how he really feels about you. “I don’t-I don’t know how I really feel about her.” He admits quietly making Niall just nod as he stands up from the love seat.

“It’s the girl you met at that karaoke bar isn’t it? The one I met at Anne’s?” Harry debates in this moment if he should tell Niall just why you were at his mom’s house because maybe then he would understand why this whole thing is causing Harry so much stress.

“Yeah she’s uhm she’s actually pregnant.” Harry watches Niall’s eyes go wide as he turns his whole body so he’s facing Harry who is still gripping the back of his couch as if it’s the only thing capable of keeping him from collapsing to the floor in an emotional breakdown. “With my twins.” He adds making Niall’s mouth fall open but he catches himself a few moments later and closes it as he runs a hand over his face.

“Holy fucking shit.” Niall has both hands on his hips as he stares at Harry in pure shock. “You mean to tell me the girl you met at that bar and said you had a crazy connection with is the same girl I met at Anne’s and is also your baby momma?” Harry just nods and chews on his bottom lip as Niall lets out a huff. “And this is the girl you keep saying mean and hurtful shit to?”

“Yes Niall it’s all the same girl. She’s the one.”

“Yeah I’ll say she’s the one alight Harry you’ve gone and knocked up the girl you said you could picture yourself with after just one night at a fucking bar with her.”

“Don’t be so dramatic Niall I didn’t say that.”

“I’m not the dramatic one here mate. You said you can’t wait to see her again and even told her you’d call her the next day because you didn’t want to wait too long.”

“I would-would never tell anyone I’ll call them that’s tacky.”

“Let me just ask you something really quick Harry.”

“What?”

“How do you not know how you feel about her right now when you were so sure how you felt that night?”

“Because I can’t-” Niall watches Harry’s eyes go a few shades darker as they appear almost glassy looking as they stare back at him. “I can’t remember that night or at least good chunks of it-it’s just gone? I know I met her and clearly I enjoyed her company in more ways than one because she has my actual cellphone number but I can’t l-I can’t even remember details about that night so I sure as fuck can’t remember how I felt about her.” Harry swallows the lump of emotions in his throat as he admits the biggest issue he’s been dealing with ever since the first time you texted him all those weeks ago, the fact he can’t fully remember the night the two of you met.

“Fuck Harry I’m-I’m sorry.” Harry just shrugs as Niall’s shoulders slump down at hearing his bestfriend sadly admit why he can’t figure out his feelings towards you. “If it means anything I know how happy you sounded when you called me at four in the damn morning going on and on about her and-and I mean you have to know deep down that you feel something for her because if you didn’t then she wouldn’t be able to get these sort of reactions out of you. Because I don’t know if you’ve noticed but you’re sort of a fucking wreck right now and all I’ve seen you do is text someone-”

“It doesn’t matter how I feel about her now because this time I really fucked it up.” Harry snaps cutting Niall off.

“Fucked it up how?” He asks with concern because one thing he knows Harry is good at is saying things he doesn’t mean and causing situations to get out of control quickly.

“She asked me if I really want to be a dad right now. Like literally not even ten minutes ago she asked me that and I somehow managed to turn it all around and made her feel like shit for not being able to forgive me for something I did at the very beginning of all of this and now-now I don’t think I can fix it so we can even be friends? I think this was my last chance and I blew it.” Harry blinks back the tears he knows what to spill over and roll down his cheeks as Niall lets out a sad sigh and runs a hand through his hair.

“I mean that’s a valid question for her to ask because well I don’t know-do you want to be a dad right now?” Niall isn’t shocked at how quickly Harry answers because he knows the man standing in front of him with tears in his eyes has always wanted this, maybe not in this exact way but he’s always wanted to be a dad.

“Yes. More than anything.”

“And did you tell her that?”

“No.” Niall wants to roll his eyes but he doesn’t because he can clearly see the vulnerable and emotional state Harry is in. “I just got mad and that’s when I said the stupid things and now she thinks I’m an asshole.”

“Fuck okay well just walk me through all the shit that’s happened and the things you’ve said and maybe-maybe there’s still hope for you two being able to be friends at the very least.” Harry just nods as Niall heads over to the couch and takes a seat while Harry reaches down and grabs his phone off the cushion so he can scroll to your messages while he begins to tell Niall everything that’s happened between the two of you from the very beginning.

“We don’t hate him.” You say with a sigh as you look down at the orange cat cuddled up in your lap taking over half of the book you had started reading before you decided to reach out to Harry. “He’s their father and we don’t hate him.” You explain as you place your phone on your nightstand before you reach down and place a hand on Paris’s back giving him a nice pet.

“But we do dislike him a whole hell of a lot right now because he’s being an asshole.” You whisper to yourself as if you don’t want the two lemon sized babies in your belly to hear you talk poorly of their father. “He just doesn’t get it Paris and I don’t think he ever will.” The orange cat slowly opens his eyes and lets out a yawn as he stretches his front legs out before looking at you with a tilt of his head.

“So maybe we should just let it go? That would be easiest but-but it would also make it seem like me being upset with him and not trusting him doesn’t matter? And I don’t want him to think he can get away with things like that but I also,” you let out a shaky breath making Paris sit up so he can nuzzle his head against your cheek letting out a string of purrs in the process. “I’m so tired of fighting with him. I’m just so tired of it so fine I can be the bigger person and just-just move on.” You add with a sniffle as a few tears fall down your face as you give your cat a few loving pets making him purr and lean into your touch.

“The truly sad part is that when we met I really thought I might like him? It’s like the universe has me trapped in some sort of sick joke because the man who can’t seem to know how to do anything other than make me cry is someone I thought I could actually see myself with.” You let out a wet laugh as you wipe your cheeks and just shake your head at the idea of you ever having feelings for Harry especially now because the only feeling you get when you think about him is hurt.

[lateatnewyork]

Hi lovely! First of all: your writing is amazing. You have a huge potential, keep up your good work! I'm proud of you. Listen, of courseee now that I've flattered you I need to request something xD

SO! I was thinking maybe fluff prompt 11 with Azriel. Like it would be their first pregnancy together and Azriel took some time off from missions to spend time with you? He's being super protective and all, always having a protective hand over the reader's belly- you get the idea. And like they would be laying on the couch and he would just randomly whiff of the reader's scent filled with her pregnancy hormones and be like, delighted with the scent? It was just an idea I had: I figured you would be able to make it into beautiful words. Like always.

Take care!

Babies

Azriel x Rhysand sister!reader

Warnings: pregnancy, fluff, suggestive

Prompts: N/A

Summary: It’s your first pregnancy and Az is being an overprotective mate. But you love it.

a/n dude i literally love @azsazz for all her dad!azriel fics also i don’t think ultrasound pictures are a thing in acotar so bare with me, i hope you don’t mind i didn’t include prompt 11 i just didn’t think it fit into the story.

“You’re pregnant,” Madja’s voice rang through my ears.

“Pregnant, that can’t be” I whisper. “Y/N my dear it turns out you are really fertile, more so than normal fae females,”

“I’m having a baby,” I mumble out, “I need to tel Azriel, when should I see you next?”

It wasn’t as if Azriel and I hadn’t talked about children. Fuck we had come up with baby names before all of this. So why was I so nervous as I waited for Az to come home.

Madja had given me a picture of the babe. I had it laid on a table with a cake that said “You’re gonna be a dad”.

The time seemed to pass slower, the clock’s ticking dimmed. I could hear the songs of the birds returning for the night, see the sunset pour into the room.

The door clicked, and I practically jumped out of my seat and rushed to the open it. I think I gave Azriel a heart attack with how quickly, I opened the door and pounced on him. He reciprocated my actions with a searing kiss.

“Hi,” I whisper against his lips, he chuckles and shuts the door, making sure to lock it. “What’s gotten you so excited?” he asks.

“I have a surprise for you in the kitchen,” I murmur my mind still hazy from the kiss.

“Oh you do?” he smirks. Rolling my eyes, I jump off and grab his hand, “It’s not that kind of surprise,”.

Guiding him by his arm, I drag him towards the kitchen. Standing on my tippy toes, my hand goes to cover his eyes right before we enter the kitchen.

I look around at the swirls of black surrounding both Az and I’s torsos. Leaning down, I whisper “Don’t tell him anything,”.

As if they hear me they frantically move up and down as if saying yes.

Taking a deep breath in, we walk into the kitchen. Reluctantly pulling my hand away from his face, I look at him in anticipation of his reaction.

His eyes flutter open, taking in his surroundings, he looks at the picture of the babe in my stomach, then his eyes wonder to the cake. He takes in the words written on the cake.

Turning around he gapes at me.

“We’re having a- you’re not joking right?” he says frantically. Unable to form words I shake my head as a no.

Within seconds, he’s picked me up and he’s twirling me around in the air.

I shriek at first but then it dies down into a soft smile as I see how happy he is. Once he’s put me down on the ground, he kneels and pulls up my shirt.

“Mummy and Daddy love you so much” he kisses my belly.

Halfway through my pregnancy, Azriel forced Rhysand to let him off until the babe was born. He spent every waking moment with me, making sure I was drinking enough water, eating enough food and stuff like that.

The pregnancy made him more protective, he growled at every single male he saw, that looked at me. But seeing the fearsome spymaster, on his knees kissing my belly or holding my belly from behind to relieve me of some of the pain was all worth it.

He had cried the day the babe’s scent finally came. He had promised me that he would be the best father ever. Not that I had any doubt about it.

I stayed at home mostly, to satisfy Azriel and also because no one wants to walk around a lot when you’re so close to your due date.

That’s why I was currently lying on top of Azriel, my back pressed against his chest as he read me one of the books Nesta had given me.

But all I could focus on was his voice. A rich melody filling the room like a sweet song. I shuffled against him.

He took a deep breathe, taking in the scent of the babe. And my pregnancy hormones. The second they hit his senses, he let out a deep growl that went straight down my spine to my heated core.

I carefully twisted around so I could kiss him. His soft lips pressed against mine, sent me into a frenzy. The way his arms grazed up my shorts and down the arms of my sleeveless top.

“Az,” I whine against his mouth, “Don’t be a tease,”.

“I would never dream of it my love,” he says grinning.

My hormones swapped out for a droopy feeling. I yawned against his chest. He chuckled and kissed my head. Going back to reading, he drew mindless circles on my exposed shoulder. And finally for the first time in days the babe had finally let me sleep.

“You and our daughter are my heart, darling” and that’s the last thing.

Cassian had barged into the living room of the couple’s new house. “How’s my favourite sister in la-”.

Azriel tells him to shut up as he motions to the sleeping figure on top of him. “Sorry,” Cassian winces.

Just seconds later Rhysand stomps into the room, “Where’s my sister?” he asks as he looks over at Cassian. “Don’t be too loud you’re going to wake the demon,” he whispers pointing over at Azriel and I. Lifting up my middle finger, I aim it towards Cassian and then mutter out a “Fuck you” loud enough for them to hear.

“Althea doesn’t like you, Rhys” I say, giggling.

“Oh and how would you know that sister dear?” He says with a roll of his eyes.

Just as I’m about to answer, I get interrupted.

“Althea is such a pretty name,” Cassian squeals.

“Yes we know, now get out” Azriel sighs exasperatedly.

They start protesting but I cut them off, “Either get out or bring me some cake,”.

As they walk out Cassian mutters under his breath, “Demon,”

“I heard that!”

a/n hope you liked this anon! dad!az just holds a special place in my heart 🫶🏻

[sweetkpopmusings]

miserable (you & me) | l. minho <3

a/n: oh gosh, don't even get me started on minho. i love this man so much it is truly certifiable. this is probably the fluffiest of the angst, mostly because i'm so soft for minho these days (and every day) <3 pics not mine~

content: angst, happy ending | wc: 1.1k | warnings: none really! | pairing: minho x gn!reader | requests:open

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

감히 내가 조언 하나 할게 후회 땅을 치지 / “let me dare to tell you something, you’ll regret it so bad”

minho gripped his phone tightly in his pocket. he felt as though he was going to burst open, but he held his tongue. you walked next to him, chatting about this person you were interested in. you were actually so interested in them that you considered going exclusive. though he listened intently, minho coudln’t stop thinking that he hated that idea with every fiber of his being. 

he’d met the person in passing and knew from the jump that they weren’t good, let alone good enough for you. minho’s judge of character was revered amongst his closest circle, and maybe that’s why you hadn’t asked him his thoughts on your potential partner sooner. given how much you care about and trust minho, you knew whatever he said would impact your feelings toward your new love interest. after all, minho was always right when it came to you.

the air chilled any exposed skin as dusk turned the corner to night. you turned your head toward minho, aware and wary of his silent, forward-facing gaze. his statuesque face looked abnormally rigid, like he was made of stone. you weren’t sure what was wrong, but you didn’t like the way his current silence made your heart rate rise.

hoping to clear the air, you finally asked, “what do you think of them? is it worth making it official?”

minho turned his head toward you, observing every familiar, precious detail of your face in an attempt to calm his nerves. he felt his hands shaking, and not just from the cold that slipped in under his shirt sleeves. he sighed and wrestled with whether letting the weight of his feelings off his chest would help or hurt you. this time, he really wanted to be selfish. more than that, though, as always, he wanted you to be safe and happy. when you locked eyes with his, however, his resolve collapsed and the words fell out before he could even recognize it was his voice speaking.

“if you do it, you’ll regret committing so much of yourself to them. maybe not right away, but i know you will.”

your jaw dropped. it hurt to hear. a sharp pang hit your chest when minho rejected the only person you had been properly interested in after who knows how long. you were about to admit how it stung and to demand clarification. but minho, seeing the pain twist your features ever so slightly, spoke again.

“they don’t look at you the way you should be looked at. y/n, you deserve so much more than what they could offer you. i know they’re funny, smart, attractive, and…nice enough,” he grimaced, clearly not fully believing his description of them, “but they’re not anywhere near enough for you. i just don’t think they could give you what you need in a relationship.”

“and what do i need, minho?” you asked, a slight edge in your voice, despite your best efforts to remain calm.

minho stopped walking and faced you directly, so you could know that every word he said was full of meaning, “you need someone who tends to your heart. you need someone who wants to help you grow, someone who is willing to grow with you. you need a person who cherishes you and is willing to do anything for you. you need someone who loves you, actively and intentionally.”

the care that poured out of minho left you breathless. the softness and certainty of his eyes melted away all your confusion about his intentions. he wasn’t being a jerk, and he wasn’t saying these things because he didn’t like that person for petty reasons. minho, like countless times before, was protecting you. immense gratitude and fondness washed over you.

you sighed, half frustrated and half relieved, “you say this like you know there’s someone out there who can be the person i need.”

your voice came out as barely a whisper, but minho heard it with perfect clarity. he also knew with perfect clarity that there was only one correct response in this situation.

minho nodded, “i’m right here. i’ll stay here forever, if you’ll have me.”

at first, a light chuckle escaped your lips because the confession was so blunt it felt like a witty joke. as the words and his tone settled into your bones, however, you felt breathless again. almost a dozen words from minho shattered you into thousands of fragments and rebuilt you into an entirely new person. 

well, maybe not entirely new. maybe his words and the feeling of his warm voice breaking through the cold night air made you feel like who you were at your core. the way minho looked at you revealed your barest self, and nothing had ever felt more right. minho, as always, was right.

“there’s no version of my life that doesn’t have you with me,” you confessed, smiling despite the intensity of the conversation and the pounding of your heart.

minho nodded sternly, “well, that settles it then. you’re not going exclusive with them.”

he turned and started walking again, pace full of excitement. you quickly fell into step with him, reaching out to hold his hand. after his muscles tensed briefly in surprise, his hand relaxed, falling into place against yours. you tugged on his sleeve to get his attention again, which he happily obliged. 

“so, minho, do you want to be exclusive with me?”

minho turned his face to the side, not fully, just enough to haphazardly hide the quick upturn of his lips at your question. from this angle, you could see the pink hues coloring the tip of his ear. you smiled too. 

minho avoiding your gaze answered your question clearly, but your heart still fluttered when he replied, “anything for you, y/n.”

you hummed, pleased with this turn of events. minho observed your face, all smiles and sparkling eyes. his heart melted, and he practically giggled at the sight of you being so happy. happy because of him.

your brow furrowed, smile never fading, “what’s so funny?”

he sighed happily, “it’s funny how everything works out in the end.”

“oh really?”

minho nodded and squeezed your hand, softly and securely, “absolutely. no matter what got in the way, we still ended up right where we’re supposed to be. here, side by side.”

you turned your face away from him, failing to hide your blush and lovestruck smile from minho. you couldn’t see it, but minho smiled just as sweetly and brightly as you did. even if his confession hadn’t come out as well as he had hoped, he would never regret daring to say what had been on his mind since the moment he met you.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[mattsobvimyfav]

neighbor (matthew sturniolo)

pt 12

The next morning, I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. My mind was a mess, replaying every word Matt had said the night before, every expression on his face as he finally told me the truth.

He’d been honest—brutally honest—and now I was left to unpack it all. He told me that Abbie had been his girlfriend up until a month ago. He said he was happy with her, or at least he thought he was. He believed he loved her. But then I came back into his life, and it hit him like a tidal wave.

“All the emotions, the hurt, the love, and the memories I had buried came rushing back, Y/N,” he had confessed, his voice trembling. “I tried to ignore it. I tried to pretend I didn’t feel it, but I couldn’t. And when we planned that trip… I was still with her, but I knew it wasn’t fair. I couldn’t lead her on, not when my heart was still yours. It’s always been yours.”

I hadn’t known what to say at the time, and even now, I wasn’t sure how I felt. It hurt, knowing he had lied to me just to get me back, But at the same time, I understood. I understood how complicated and messy love could be, how the lines blurred when emotions ran deep.

With a sigh, I rolled onto my side, my fingers tracing patterns on the blanket. I didn’t know where this left us.

Curiosity got the better of me. I reached for my phone, opening Matt's Instagram and scrolling through his following until I found her. Abbie.

Her profile picture showed a tall, blonde girl with warm brown eyes, standing in front of a beach sunset. She was stunning, the polar opposite of me—my dark hair, big blue eyes, and softer frame. My thumb hovered over her profile for a moment before tapping on it. Her page was filled with polished photos, perfectly curated snapshots of her life, and I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of inadequacy.

I tapped the message bar, half-expecting to see nothing, but instead, I was met with an avalanche of unread DMs. My stomach dropped. With all the messages I get in a day, I’d never noticed these, but now I couldn’t look away.

The first few messages were from a month ago: “I know who you are. Don’t pretend you don’t know about me.” “You’ve been with Matt this whole time, haven’t you? He’s been lying to both of us.”

Then they started getting angrier: “You’re a joke. You think you’re better than me? He’s going to get bored of you just like he did with everyone else.” “Have fun with him while it lasts, because when he realizes you’re not worth it, I’ll be the one laughing.”

And then the tone shifted again, dripping with resentment and heartbreak: “I hate you. I hate him. You’ve ruined everything.” “He said he loved me. How could you both do this to me?”

My hands trembled as I scrolled through the messages. I didn’t know how to feel. On one hand, I understood her pain. She was hurting, lashing out, and searching for someone to blame. But on the other hand, her words cut deep, making me question everything.

Closing my eyes, I set the phone down, taking a shaky breath. Tears welled up in my eyes as I stared at the phone screen, the messages blurring into an indecipherable mess. My chest tightened, and I couldn’t stop the sob that escaped my lips.

I didn’t know how to feel. On one hand, my heart ached for Abbie. She had been hurt, blindsided by Matt’s decision to leave her, and the pain she poured into those messages was all too familiar. I’d been there once, in the position of feeling discarded and unworthy, and I knew how devastating it was.

But on the other hand, a pang of jealousy coursed through me, sharp and unexpected. She was gorgeous—tall, radiant, and confident in ways I couldn’t even fake. She looked perfect, like someone who had it all together, while I felt like a mess in comparison. And yet, Matt had left her.

For me.

But why?

The question echoed in my mind, breaking me down further. Why would he leave someone like her—someone who seemed so put-together, so amazing—for someone like me? Someone with a past as messy and broken as ours. I didn’t understand how he could look at me, with all my flaws and insecurities, and choose me over someone who seemed so effortless.

I curled up on my bed, hugging my knees to my chest as tears streamed down my face. A wave of self-doubt crashed over me, drowning out the small voice in my head that told me I was enough.

Matt had always seen something in me that I struggled to see in myself. But now, as I lay there with Abbie’s words ringing in my ears, I couldn’t help but wonder if he had made a mistake. And worse, if I was the one ruining everything all over again.

I grabbed my phone, my hands trembling as I typed out a message to Matt. The chaos in my mind was too much to handle on my own. For the first time, I couldn’t even bring myself to talk to Charlie about it. The embarrassment and shame I felt over my emotions were suffocating, wrapping around me like a weight I couldn’t shake. Reaching out to Matt felt like my only option, even if I wasn’t sure I had the strength to face his response.

Y/N: Hey...

Matt: Hey, sweetheart. Everything okay?

Y/N: I don’t know I’ve just been thinking.

Matt: About?

Y/N: Abbie.

Matt: What about her?

Y/N: I saw her messages. I didn’t mean to, but they’re there, and I read them. She’s beautiful, Matt. Like, stunning. She seems like she had everything together. I don’t get how you could leave someone like that for me.

Matt: Y/N, no.

Y/N: I mean it. She’s tall, gorgeous, probably stable. Meanwhile, I’m this emotional wreck with a history of fighting you every step of the way. I don’t understand why you’d pick me. Why would you leave her for me?

Matt: Because she wasn’t you.

Y/N: Matt.

Matt: No, listen to me. You want to know why I left her? Why I chose you? It’s because I’ve been in love with you for years, Y/N. You’re the only person I’ve ever truly loved. No one else compares, not even close. I tried to move on with Abbie because I thought I had to. I had finally accepted that I'd never hear or see you again, that I’d never have a chance to fix what I broke with you. So I tried to forget, but I couldn’t. Not even for a second.

Matt: Do you know what it felt like to see you again? To have you back in my life, even as a neighbor? It was like this massive part of me that had been missing finally clicked back into place. Abbie’s great, yeah, but she’s not you. She could never be you.

Matt: And trust me, I know I don’t deserve another chance with you after everything we’ve been through. But when we went on that trip and I saw the way you looked at me, the way you laughed with me, the way you trusted me again, I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. I couldn’t stay with her knowing my heart was never really hers.

I stared at the messages, my chest tightening with every word Matt had sent. The weight of his confession crushed me—knowing I had somehow unraveled someone else’s world just by being in his. My hands were shaking as I read the last text, and before I could stop myself, I hurled my phone at the wall. The loud crack echoed through the room, and I collapsed onto the bed, sobs ripping out of me uncontrollably.

The reaction Im having—the tears, the screaming, the sheer weight of guilt—felt too big for just this moment. This wasn’t just about Abbie or her messages. This was about Matt. About the unresolved pain he’d left behind when we fell apart the first time. All the love, the heartbreak, and the unanswered questions I had buried were clawing their way back now. Maybe it was about every piece of hurt I had never let myself feel, every wound I had never allowed to heal. The emotions surged through me, spilling out in the form of screams and tears, and I didn’t care who heard.

The door to my room flew open, and Charlie rushed in. Her face was stricken with concern as she immediately pulled me into her arms, holding me tight. She didn’t say anything, didn’t ask what was wrong. She just sat there with me, letting me cry into her shoulder as she rubbed my back softly.

Minutes passed, maybe longer—time felt like it stopped. Finally, Charlie whispered, “Chris told me everything. You don’t have to talk if you’re not ready. I get it.”

I sniffled, pulling back slightly to look at her. My voice was hoarse as I said, “Grab my phone. Read Abbie’s messages.”

Charlie hesitated for a moment but nodded, moving to where my phone lay on the floor. As she bent down to pick it up, I heard a crunch. Her face fell as she straightened up, holding the shattered device.

“Y/n…” she started, but I just shook my head, fresh tears spilling down my face. It felt like everything was falling apart, and I didn’t know how to fix it. Charlie sat back down beside me, pulling me into another hug, and this time, I didn’t resist.

A couple of hours passed in silence, the weight of everything still heavy in the air. Charlie hadn’t left my side, even when her phone buzzed with messages from Chris. She had simply told him she wouldn’t be answering for a while and to take care of things without her for the day. I was grateful she hadn’t pushed me to talk, letting me sit in my mess without judgment.

Finally, Charlie broke the silence, her voice soft but steady. “Do you want to get out of the house? Maybe get a new phone or something?”

I hesitated for a moment before nodding. “Yeah... that might be good.”

Dragging myself off the couch, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the way to my room. My hair was a mess, my face puffy from crying, and the oversized clothes I wore didn’t help. Disappointment clawed at my chest as I compared myself to Abbie—her perfect hair, her confident smile, the way she looked so effortlessly put together. 

I sighed, pushing the thoughts away as best I could, and grabbed a pair of jean shorts and an oversized sweatshirt. Slipping on my worn Converse, I picked up the shattered remains of my phone from the nightstand and made my way downstairs.

Charlie was already waiting by the door with her keys, offering me a small, reassuring smile. I managed to return it faintly as we stepped out into the sunlight and climbed into her car. It wasn’t much, but it was something—a small step toward normalcy.

As Charlie drove, the quiet hum of the car was broken only by the faint sound of the radio. My mind wandered, lost in the haze of everything that had happened. My heart felt heavy, my thoughts a mess of confusion, guilt, and something I couldn’t quite name.

Suddenly, the soft, dreamy notes of "You Get Me So High" by The Neighbourhood drifted through the speakers. My chest tightened, and I immediately felt like I couldn’t breathe. It wasn’t just a song—it was our song. The one we played on repeat in his car, on lazy afternoons, during nights we swore we’d never forget.

And then, like a tidal wave, the memory of the letter he left me that day came crashing down. The letter I read a hundred times, the one I had hidden away but could never truly forget. "You’re my best friend. I love you forever."

My eyes burned, and I blinked quickly, trying to stop the tears threatening to spill. But the words replayed in my head over and over, his voice almost as if he were sitting beside me.

“Y/n, you okay?” Charlie asked softly, glancing over as we stopped at a red light.

I turned to her and nodded, forcing a smile that I knew didn’t reach my eyes. “Yeah,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. But the truth was, I wasn’t sure I was.

The song continued, weaving its way into my thoughts, and all I could do was stare out the window, clutching my broken phone like it was the only thing holding me together.

Charlie and I made our way to Best Buy first. I wasn’t expecting much, but the thought of getting a new phone—especially since I hadn’t had one since college—felt like a small thing that might help take my mind off everything else. I felt a bit silly for even getting excited, but it was nice to think about something so simple.

We walked through the aisles, and Charlie was showing me the new and different iphone models, suggesting a few options. I didn’t really care about all the technical specs, just that it would work, and it would be a change from the old phone I’d been hanging onto for far too long. Eventually, I picked out a black phone pro max that felt sleek and sturdy. It was nothing extravagant, but it was definitely an upgrade. It felt good to know I was finally getting a new one.

Charlie smiled when she saw me eyeing it. "I like the pro max way more. You’ll love it."

We went up to the register, and after a few minutes, I had my brand-new phone in hand. As we left the store, I couldn’t help but feel a small sense of relief. It wasn’t anything huge, but it was a little win in a day that had been filled with so many mixed emotions.

As we continued with the rest of the shopping—picking up a few random things at the mall and grabbing snacks. When we got in the car to head to dinner, I hadn’t even opened the phone yet. I kept it in its box, feeling like maybe it was best to leave it for later.

We decided on an Italian restaurant nearby, Charlie and I’s comfort food. Charlie tried her best to keep the mood light, talking about everything from old college days to random drama on the internet, and I found myself laughing along.

"So, when are you going to open that new phone?" she asked as we got into the car, pointing to the box in my lap. "Come on, I know you're dying to check it out."

I hesitated, looking at the phone. “I don’t know,” I said, finally. “It’s kind of dumb, part of me’s kind of excited about it. It’s just a phone, but I don't feel like having it right now, you know?”

Charlie laughed. “I get it. It’s the little things, right? You’ve had the same one forever.”

I nodded, putting the phone back in its box. “Yeah, you would think with our jobs being on my phone I would've gotten a new one.”

Charlie drove us back home, I felt a little lighter. I hadn’t solved everything, but at least for tonight, I had something to focus on other than the mess in my head.

When we finally got home, the night air cool and crisp, Charlie and I sat down on the couch, and she grabbed my new phone from its box, her fingers quick as she started setting it up for me.

"Ready to join the world again?" she teased, handing me the phone once it was all set up.

I nodded, taking it from her with a soft smile. I hesitated for a moment before turning the screen on. As the phone came to life, I felt a little jolt of excitement, and I started to type in my passwords, getting everything back to where it needed to be.

Then, the notifications came through. Text after text popped up, and I quickly saw a few names I recognized—Chris, Matt, and Nick. My heart skipped a beat when I saw Matt's name, but I kept scrolling, trying not to overthink it.

The first text was from Chris: "Hey, just checking in. How are you doing? Call me if you need to talk."

I smiled softly at that. Chris always knew how to check in without being overwhelming.

Then there was Matt: "I know you probably need time, but just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you. Please text me when you’re ready."

I bit my lip, conflicted. Matt had been so kind, but there was still so much I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to dive back into that just yet.

And then there was Nick: "Yo, can we get pizza?"

I giggled at Nick’s utter unawareness. 

But then, the final message caught my attention. It was from a random number. I opened it, and my stomach dropped. The message was exactly like the others I’d read, but this one was... different. It felt like a sting.

“Why are you doing this? Do you really think you’re the one he wants now? You’ve always been a mess, and he’s not the guy for you. I warned him, but you wouldn’t listen. You’re nothing but a distraction.”

It was from Abbie. I was furious now, wondering how the hell she even got my number. My hands were shaking as I read the message.

I felt Charlie's eyes on me, and before I could say anything, she snatched the phone from my hands. “How the fuck did she get your number?” she hissed, fury clear on her face. “This is done now.”

I didn’t say anything at first, too caught up in the anger and confusion. Charlie was already typing something into her phone, her fingers flying across the screen.

“Normally I’d say take the high road," I muttered, swiping the message away. "But I need Matt. I don’t care anymore."

Charlie didn’t even glance up from her phone, her voice a mix of determination and protectiveness. “You and Matt need each other, and this bitch needs to fuck off. I get that she’s hurt, but she cannot talk to you like this.”

I leaned back into the couch, closing my eyes and letting out a shaky breath. Charlie’s words washed over me, I felt truly supported. Things weren’t going to be perfect right away, but with her by my side, I knew I didn’t need anyone else to be okay.

tag-

@tbfaptbfae @ch0llies @2muchofaslvt @rockstarchr1s @simply-a-simper @mattscore @watercolorskyy @urfungi @slut4christopherr @mattsturnii @christmastreecake @izzylovesmatt @larnieboox88 @christophersstar-deactivated202 @realuvrrr @namelesssav @matts-girlfriend @emely9274

[nox140497]

A Midnight Crisis

Prompt: No

Request: No

Summery: Colby has a panic attack late one night.

Prompt Number: None

Pairings: Colby Brock x Female Reader

Masterlist

Prompt List

_______________________________

Colby shut his laptop with more force than intended and rubbed his tired eyes. It was past 2am, and he was no closer to finishing the script for his next video.

Glancing around the dimly lit editing room, stacks of notes and camera equipment stared back at him, each item representing hours of work ahead. The never-ending to-do list seemed to stretch into infinity as pressure and perfectionism gnawed away at his sanity.

A tapping at the door pulled Colby from his spiraling thoughts. "Sweetheart, come to bed," said his girlfriend Y/N softly. "You've been at it for hours."

Colby nodded wearily and followed her downstairs. As they curled up under the blankets, Y/N gently stroked his damp hair. "What's keeping you up?" she asked softly.

Colby took a shaky breath. "I just feel so behind. If I don't post at least twice a week, the algorithm will bury me. And the comments..." His voice cracked. "People are always criticising - the lighting, my jokes, who I film with, everything. I try so hard, but it's never enough."

Y/N pulled him closer. "You work like three men already. No one achieves perfection, at least of all in a few hours each time."

Colby knew she was right, but the churning anxiety refused to subside. What if his viewers lost interest? Sponsors pulled funding? It had happened to bigger creators - he wasn't immune.

"I'll never sleep at this rate," he sighed. Reluctantly climbing out of bed, Colby headed back to his prison of screens and cables. Y/N followed, concern etched on her face.

Back in the office, Colby began rewriting his script frantically, deleting and retyping sentences over and over as familiar panic started clawing its way up his throat. What if he picked the wrong topic? Messed up the comedic timing? He typed so fast his hands began to cramp.

A stabbing pain in his chest made Colby gasp for air. Black spots danced before his eyes as the walls closed in, trapping him under the crushing expectation to perform.

Suddenly, strong arms wrapped around him from behind. "Colby, you need to breathe," urged Y/N calmly. She took his trembling hand and placed it on her chest. "In and out, slowly. I've got you."

Colby fought to match her even breaths as crushing anxiety morphed into racking sobs. "I'm losing control," he cried into Y/N's shoulder. "What if I can't do this anymore?"

"Shh, it's okay," soothed Y/N gently. "Come, let's get some air."

Walking unsteadily through the silent house, Colby slowly began to regain control of his breathing in the cool night. Y/N never let go of his hand, grounding him through the lingering panic.

On the back porch, they sat close together, watching the stars. An uneasy silence stretched between them as Colby gathered the courage to speak.

"I'm scared this will break me," he admitted shakily. "I pour everything into videos only to be constantly worried if it's decent enough. It's not making me happy anymore - it's destroying me." A single tear rolled down his cheek.

Y/N gently wiped it away and took his face in her hands. "You are so much more than the metrics or comments say. I see how talented and kind you are every day. This channel was supposed to be fun, so please don't let it ruin your health or us."

Her earnest eyes conveyed nothing but compassion. All the resentful feelings Colby harbored towards himself began to melt away under Y/N's unconditional love and support.

As the first light of dawn broke over the trees, Colby finally felt some of the crushing weight lift. Exhausted but calmer, he leaned into Y/N's shoulder, grateful beyond words that she saw his true worth, not defined by meaningless views or numbers on a screen. This was only the beginning of getting his life back on track, but with her by his side, Colby believed things could get better.

A week had passed since Colby's panic attack, and he was beginning to feel more like himself again. Taking time completely away from YouTube at Y/N's suggestion had brought unexpected relief.

Without daily stresses to focus on, Colby rediscovered long-lost interests like photography and gardening. He spent afternoons going for hikes with Y/N, marvelling at nature's beauty through fresh eyes. Their home filled with snapshot memories from each outing, captured joyfully on film.

With structure and rest, Colby's anxiety gradually released its grip. For the first time in months he slept well, free from dreams about botched collabs or unkind comments. Y/N watched him awaken each day looking more energised, reminding her gently of the importance to maintain this lifestyle.

One sunny afternoon found Colby immersed in tending roses along the fence border. As he trimmed away wilted blooms, flashes of memories surfaced - cramming scripts at 3am, editing well into dawn, forgetting to eat or take breaks. Exhausted, sore hands moved on auto-pilot to create a never-ending stream of content.

His downward spiral had been gradual yet forceful, spurred on by perfectionism and fear of slipping in the algorithm. But Y/N's care dragged Colby kicking and screaming from that dark routine, revealing how lonely the path of overwork had become. A cold shudder passed over him at the realisation of how close he came to burning out completely.

Wiping sweat from his brow, Colby's gaze fell upon Y/N watching tenderly from the porch. Her bright smile warmed his soul, reminding him that life held more meaningful things than views or trends. Carrying the gardening tools inside, Colby collapsed on the couch beside her with a happy sigh.

"Feeling better?" she asked, handing him a cool drink. Colby nodded gratefully. "I'm amazed at the difference a week makes. Things seem clearer now."

He stretched comfortably, thoughts drifting back over stressful nights locked away working endlessly to please abstract metrics, while neglecting real connection. That loneliness had almost swallowed him whole.

"Thank you for pulling me back from the edge," Colby told Y/N earnestly, taking her hands. "I lost sight of what really matters, but you've given me a new perspective."

Y/N leaned in for a lingering kiss. "I'm just glad to have you here, happy and healthy. Promise me you won't let it get that bad again?" Smiling, Colby promised to always communicate how he felt from now on, never bottle things up until breaking point.

That evening, the couple discussed potential strategies for Colby to maintain wellbeing going forward. Setting stricter schedules with enforced breaks, delegating tasks, limiting social media use - simple changes aimed at sustainably managing pressure and burnout prevention.

Colby knew regaining control would take diligent effort. But with Y/N by his side, nothing felt impossible anymore. Her patience and reassurance instilled a calm confidence in his ability to return renewed, without sacrificing mental wellness. The following week, Colby finally felt ready to resume video making.

Armed with new perspective and healthier habits, Colby crafted a short update video explaining his break to concerned viewers. Speaking candidly about mental health awareness and balance, he saw more supportive comments roll in than ever before. The positive reinforcement served to cement Colby's resolution to prioritise fulfillment through diverse passions instead of basing self-worth on one metric's fluctuations alone.

Weeks turned to months of sustainable creativity. True to his word, Colby kept communication lines open with Y/N, never hesitating to discuss feelings or setbacks. With her encouragement he joined local photography groups and took on freelance opportunities to spread creative wings beyond YouTube alone.

Most importantly, Colby learned to be kind to himself through both triumphs and failures. Looking back on a time when anxiety nearly took control of his life, he was profoundly grateful for Y/N's unconditional love and support. It was this care that gave him strength to overcome adversity and regain balance, emerging healthier and happier than ever before.

[bardic-inspo]

aeterna nostalgia

chapter four: the mourning after

Pairing: Ascended Astarion x Vampire Bride Tav

🩸Chapter Three

🩸Full Chapter List (Coming Soon)

🩸BG3 Fic Masterlist

Series Summary:

Astarion’s carefully crafted empire is thrown into upheaval when his bride falls victim to a modify memory spell. Without any memory of her lover or her own vampirism, his dark consort is a threat to both herself and her sire. 

Astarion must win back her trust and affections, all while hunting down whoever sought to break the most powerful bond in Faerûn.

Chapter Summary: Astarion reels in the wake of his consort's amnesia, and forms a plan to restore her memories.

Click here if you prefer to read on AO3

“To whom can a vampire bare its soul and admit its fears? With whom can the vampire vent some of the intense sensuality that seems to pervade its breed? From whom can it receive consolation for the past, comfort for the present, and hope for the future?”

-Van Richten’s Guide to Vampires

Blood smears over Astarion’s swollen lips, painting his front from neck to navel. He’s already drained two thinking things dry today. The dirt from their graves still lines his nail beds. No matter.

The nobles’ screams will sound just as sweet, whether they see the horror coming or not.

After he laid Naomi in the safety of their shared chambers, and laid Claude and Thessa to rest in the gardens, the other patriars had remained in his study to be dealt with. Claude had the foresight to lock them there. But the door would only hold the conniving fools for so long. 

Astarion would be sure to clean himself of all the gore before waking his darling. And when he wakes her, he’ll wash away the woes of the day with one last compulsion: remember.

His steps thud down the hall. Racing heartbeats slap his ears like boots smacking through puddled streets. So much wet, delectable noise. He swipes his tongue across his teeth in anticipation.

Astarion lurches towards the study door. His hand claws around the knob.

In an instant, he could be rid of the patriars for good. Pour their pride, their hopes, their lives down his throat until only he remains. And he’ll do the same to every footsoldier that comes calling after. Even Duke Ravengard, when he inevitably comes to visit righteousness upon the Crimson Palace. 

Astarion could take everything, in light of what’s been taken from him. He should. It’s only right someone else should suffer. Naomi’s not here to argue any different. 

Her name pangs through his temples. Astarion recoils abruptly from the door, his hand dropping slack at his side as he bites back a pained hiss.

The vampire ascendant sits at the head of the conference table in his study. His fingertips curl and unfurl into fresh grooves worn down in the mahogany. 

At the table’s other end, Naomi surveys him in portrait, her expression guarded and glittering. She’s not alone; they’re seated on separate thrones in the towering canvas, hands delicately clasping each other’s. Both of them are drenched in jewels, clad in finery worth more than any who set their eyes upon it. The gold-leaf frame on its own cost more than most peasants make in a decade.

There’s a more lascivious version in their private chambers, with Naomi seated on his lap. The only finery she wears there is that of her bare figure, with Astarion likewise undressed. It’s lucky he preemptively covered it before she batted her eyes open. Given how she reacted to her own reflection, she may not have taken kindly to her likeness twined so completely with his.

Her reflection is a gift, granted by the greater present of his presence. And yet, his generosity is entirely lost on her now. She's forgotten all of the times he's taken her so tenderly, all the wealth he's lavished over her, all the pains she's been spared as his treasured consort. She's forgotten the love they share, the love that broke through the dirt of those sunless centuries and seated them here: happy, eternal, untouchable.

She can barely stomach his touch at all, now.

“Oh darling,” he utters in the barest whisper, his pounding head dropping into his hands. “What am I to do with you?”

Outside, night falls in a dark curtain across the Gate. The windowed wall overlooking the city fills with little motes of flickering lantern light. From here, they seem small enough for him to reach out and extinguish, one by one, with just a pinch of his fingers.

His jaw clenches. He could’ve been far crueler to this city. He’s been utterly benevolent by comparison. 

And this is how his kindness -- his restraint -- is repaid. This is the thanks he gets.

The empty kind, bleated by sheep who don’t know their own luck. Every one of the patriars muttered their gratitude as they filed from the room without so much as a scratch. Any misgivings they had were soothed with the calming timbre of his Ascendant Authority --  a devilish boone that grants him the ability to bend the perception of even those he doesn’t have direct dominion over. 

It’s time for you all to leave. Everyone expected to attend the meeting was present. Nothing out of the ordinary occurred. You definitely didn’t notice any blood.

It isn’t the bludgeon of compulsion. The effect is more subtle, and must operate within the reasonable expectations of whatever captive audience he seeks to manipulate. He cannot command those he hasn’t bitten, but he can curate. Such revision is made all the easier by the blood of his new spawn thrilling through his veins, and the mundane, repetitive song and dance all the nobles come to expect. The cattle long for their routine, and will readily return to it at the sight of a strong hand.

Astarion drums his fingertips restlessly against the pages of an open book. His abilities will stave off immediate inquiry into Thessa Gray’s sudden disappearance. For most, it will be enough not to arouse any suspicion. Unless pressed -- and who would have reason to? -- the other nobles will offer threadbare replies as to the day’s dealings. But such answers could crumble to confusion under scrutiny. 

If someone knew better, they might know a vampire had a hand in muddling their minds.

Wyll knows better. Wyll will know about Astarion’s new spawn soon enough. Time enough for Astarion to sort out this matter of memory.

He skewed the patriars’ recollections easily enough. They had recollections to tamper with. The spell scroll didn’t simply mold Naomi’s memories. It stole them. He can’t curate absence. Evidently, he can’t compel it away, either. 

“By the bloody hells!”

The table rattles with the sudden pound of his fist, but the pain needling his temples barely recedes. It doesn’t flee like it should. The low, guttural growl in the back of his throat doesn’t scare it off, either.

His head hurts. His head shouldn’t hurt. Nothing so mundane as a headache should have a hope of harming him! Astarion grits his teeth, nearly ripping the page from the tome in front of him as he turns to the next. 

It’s the same cruel pain that plagued him when he woke Naomi. After the incident in the throne room, he’d braced for her hostility. He hadn’t accounted for her terror. Or that it would feel like teeth sinking into his skull.

The woman cries in glass; every tear down her cheek has the same lethal sheen. No soothing words or gentle touch could dull the sharpness. And now he bears the unseen scars of it.

His compulsion didn’t work. His consort can’t remember their precious time together. And he, the vampire ascendant, is suffering something so inane as a migraine.

If Naomi feels the pain, too, then at least she’s trancing through it. Their bond requires emotions to be shared. He feels any harm that comes to her as if it were his own, and vice versa. His triumphs are hers, and their joys are joint.

She would not recoil from him so, stranger or not, if she could feel his affections. Astarion’s lip curls. She had no problem seeing the monster of him, turning a blind eye to the care he’d taken in her comfort. Her fear could’ve cut a throat as easily as a dagger. Astarion tried to scrape his way past it, but when her eyes set sight on her own reflection, it climbed into something consuming. It was reflex to send her into trance again. Like shirking away from a fire spitting sparks. 

She can’t trance forever. The back of his throat grows drier, the longer his thoughts linger on his consort. She needs to feed.

And pain is not the same as fear. They are complementary colors, not identical ones. Astarion is intimately acquainted with all the subtle shades in between. The distinction stirs a festering disquiet in his gut.

Can she feel their bond at all? Her memories may have taken the direct hit, but their bond is…strained. Twisted in on itself. So loud and large are her feelings, maybe his are simply quiet in her head. 

Or, maybe, the time for his restraint is over.

It could be a stronger hand that’s needed for her thoughts to open to him again. The seamless telepathy they shared before was something cultivated over time. A conscious choice they each made until it became an unconscious one. Either of them, in theory, could choose to shelter their own thoughts. Feelings would still seep through, and such deprivation didn’t suit a union so harmonious as theirs.

It’s a choice she would never ordinarily make. One he could grow to forgive when this interruption in their eternity is so far in the past, it can be forgotten.

With a long-drawn sigh, Astarion snaps the book shut and tosses it into the piles of others strewn over the floor. In lieu of tearing out the patriars’ throats, he’d torn all the tomes from the shelves. So much for all the coin he’d spent furnishing Emilia’s studies. He’s yet to find anything of use in the rare arcane texts his library boasts of. No cures for his consort’s ailing memory. Only more and more incendiary possibilities of what caused it. 

A charm? Unlikely. Emilia said it herself: by your bond, she’s immune to anyone’s will but yours. An enchantment would’ve ended when the caster did. The man turned to literal sand before Astarion’s eyes, and still, Naomi’s amnesia persists. What’s left of the culprit sits in a bronze dish further down the desk, alongside the burnt scraps of the spell scroll. He can’t make sense of such remnants -- it’s in a strange, geometric script he can’t decipher.

  A curse on the other hand… 

The notion nips at his mind like a putrid rat. At first, he bats the idea away. But as night bleeds to dawn, it recurs with a sickening nausea he can’t ignore.

What a specific insult to add to this particular injury; Naomi has been the victim of a curse before, albeit of a very different nature. Only those who knew her during their tadpole days would know that intimate detail. She herself didn’t understand her own plight when they first met. Astarion freed her of those bonds long ago. What lingering effects of her former curse remain, Naomi learned to wield as weapons of her own.

Astarion rubs the fresh creases on his forehead. Only a day ago, Naomi smirked and said: this is my home. I know where all the sharp things are. And now, she cuts her own lips on the fangs she’s unfamiliar with. Her abilities could be further hazards, if she no longer recalls how to use them.

Still, it was no mere wizard who cursed her in the past. All things considered, this is a far simpler predicament than last time. It should follow that the solution is simpler, too. If it is a mundane curse, then a mundane cleric should be able to cure it. Or, another wizard. One more skilled than Emilia was. 

Astarion knew such a man once. A shame that man is no more. Gods never answered Astarion’s prayers in the past, and he’s not about to depend on one, now.

He still knows a skilled cleric. One that might answer the call of his coin purse. After all, where would the Mother Superior and her House of Grief be without his financial sympathies?

But no. His consort won’t need either of them. Astarion stiffens abruptly, a new realization latching into place in his mind. 

It wasn’t Gale or Shadowheart who saved Naomi from her first curse. It was Astarion. It was never clear to him if the act of making her vampire did the trick, or if it only worked because he was the vampire above all others. Either way, Astarion usurped Naomi’s former chains by binding her to him instead.

He lets out a strangled laugh, the only sound for hours in the deathly quiet palace.

It all comes down to blood, really. It’s the way he’s solved all of his problems in the end, one way or another. He needn’t worry himself with magic when the old vampire cure-all could have her in his arms again within hours.

One drop should do. She’ll remain a vampire bride as she was meant to be -- there can be no separation, and no making of a ‘true’ vampire unless a sire wills it. She will sup of him once more, and know him again.

And what bliss that will be. 

A sudden smile wakes on his lips, warming his face with the fresh daylight streaking through the windows. His nose tilts towards the ceiling, and his eyes flutter shut. Naomi’s touch feels far too muted in his mind when it’s only memory he’s drawing from, and not the live current of their flourishing bond. 

It’s a comfort all the same, to imagine her fingers coursing through his curls, her nails scraping against his scalp. Her scent of lavender and lemongrass, sharp and sweet, never fails to make his mouth water. He’d sup of her, too. Take that divine nectar from her neck and take her with her stomach laid flat across this desk, back arched, legs spread wide, his hands hooked around her thighs, his name a fountain from her mouth.

Astarion.

His eyes flash open at once. He gags back a raw whimper in his throat. Pain, not pleasure, flares within his skull. His lustful fantasies dissolve into one piercing recollection: the distress on her face when she woke beside him earlier.

“Do you know my name?” He’d asked his wife.

Astarion, she said. He mulls over the shape of the sound in Naomi’s mouth, the way she said it with such warring confusion and certainty. Even as she answered him without hesitation, he saw the surprise cross her face.

Astarion. To her, he is inextricable. He is instinct.

She isn’t lost to him. She isn’t. She can’t be.

Astarion shoves from his chair so violently, it topples over. He doesn’t bother to right it again before storming from the room like a thundercloud. The corridors echo with his footsteps and the shrill squeak of his heel as he turns down another. Before long, he comes to the closed door he seeks, a faint glow of silver magic glittering around its edges. 

Emilia had the enchantments carved at his behest. They’re a part of the manor itself, and so they still survive without her. None but he and Naomi can see the effect without some manner of arcane detection. None might enter or exit without the spell’s password, known only to him and his consort.

A detail, like so many others, Astarion’s sure she’s forgotten.

Soundlessly, he turns the knob and presses the door open. It’s absurd, the way he tip-toes towards the bed. As if she could wake without him willing it. It’s absurd to be looking in on her at all. Of course, she’s still here. Astarion forces out a long breath. It doesn’t sate the anxious scamper of his heart beating in his throat.

It’s equally ludicrous that he hesitates at his side of the bed, glancing furtively between the empty space beside her body and the empty chair in the corner. Ridiculous, really, that the corner is where he ultimately retreats to. But then, the situation itself is outlandish in every sense. No ill was ever supposed to befall her here, in their home, beneath his protection.

He sits stiff-backed, legs crossed, with his hands clenching the armrests in a rigid grip and his eyes fixed on his trancing bride. Her white hair splays over the silk pillowcase. The lace of her nightgown drapes off her freckled, lilac shoulders. Except for the occasional flutter of her eyelids, she’s utterly still. Astarion is a statue at her bedside.

What memories play behind those closed eyes? He wonders. Perhaps, in her trance, she relives her time in the Underdark, and the temple to Eilistraee that raised her. Naomi still remembers her mortal life, something that fades for most vampires in time. 

Without such mortal memories of his own, for centuries, all Astarion could remember  was Cazador’s cruelty. He learned to substitute reverie with sleep. It gave him a chance, at least, to dream of something different, instead of replaying something agonizing. Some nights, he was luckier than others. Cazador could still turn a dream into a nightmare, after all. 

Astarion has been nothing but lucky since knowing Naomi. And he’d no longer needed to trade reverie for sleep. He hasn’t gotten a wink of either since she’s forgotten him.

It’s nighttime again when he rises from his seat. He latches the door behind him just as quietly as he coaxed it open. His legs move sluggish, as if wading through waist-high water. The cool air of the garden courtyard tickles his collar, rousing him from his daze.

Something clatters nearby. Movement flashes in his periphery. Astarion’s heart lurches in his chest as he pivots and stiffens. With the culprit locked in his sights, he lets out a long, pained groan.

Gods below. It’s only the gardener, skulking as she’s wont to do. Astarion studies the skeletal figure with equal measures of disgust and fascination. She was only a dusty pile of bones when he and Naomi happened upon her in some forgotten closet. No doubt Cazador locked her there years ago and threw away the key without a second thought. Astarion has no idea who she might’ve been.

But the second Naomi sang, the skeleton became whoever his consort wanted her to be. And Naomi wanted a gardener to help her grow all manner of beautiful, exotic things. Astarion’s heartbeat settles, though it aches like a bruise with every pang. He starts off again with a huff.

Floral sweetness cloys in his nose, lush petals framing the stone path to the heart of the courtyard. The gardens are home to every shade of violet ever known. His favorite are the petrea vines, hanging like garland from the trellises. Wistfully, he reached out to cradle a strand. The delicate blooms are so similar to the shade of Naomi’s eyes, when she was still mortal. Water babbles from the enchanted fountain up ahead, mingling with the faintest sound of piano keys. 

Astarion’s eyes grow heavy. If he only closes them, perhaps he can pretend he’s still in the ballroom, that the moonlight bleaching his cheek is the sun, that he never left Naomi alone at all. That she plays for him, still.

Clack. Clack. Clack.

Astarion whirls around, seething. “What are you doing?!”

The gardener scuttles on, trowel in hand, without so much as a croak in reply. It’s a relief, really, that the thing can’t talk, even if it is uncanny in its understanding when others do. Naomi thinks his distaste for the gardener is a matter of favoritism, that he simply values his own progeny over her bonier servants. He doesn’t dwell on it long enough for any other reason to come to mind, though his eyes linger on the trowel’s sharp edge until the gardener disappears between the hedges again. 

That Naomi’s servants still function as they should, he supposes, is a good sign. Her magic remains as strong as ever, it seems, even if her memory isn’t.

When at last he comes to the bare patch near the back, strategically shielded from sight by lush hydrangeas, the dirt is already writhing. He watches coldly as the soil shifts and sinks. An arm bursts through, raking madly at the air, and then another. The hands are the color of a faded rose, and tipped in dark, pointed claws. Thessa.

“Finally!” Astarion sighs. “I was beginning to think I killed you for good!”

He reaches forward, grips a flailing hand, and pulls. 

The tiefling bursts from her grave, collapsing at Astarion’s heels. Her clogged scream sends a score of crows into the sky. At least the cacophony drowns out her awful retching. 

Claude still hasn’t stirred. Well, Astarion won’t weep if he fails to. He doesn’t weep over the same ceremony that once started his own existence as a snivelling spawn. With Zylar and Emilia, he took time and pride in molding them, and even mustered a fair amount of pity for their lesser state. The burial was something he prepared them for. Something they saw for the rite of passage it was.

There’s no time for such luxuries now. Astarion’s kindness cost Naomi dearly. Whatever Zylar did or didn’t do in the throne room before Astarion arrived, it led to Naomi’s current state. The wretch will stew and starve in his cell while Astarion sees to his fresher spawn. 

The dirt of Claude’s grave begins to crack. A ragged snarl rips from Thessa’s throat. She’s filthy, streaked in dirt, eyes wide and wild, blood and spit hanging from her chin like some slavering dog. Astarion knows what’s next. He steps back neatly as she lunges, leaving her to thump face-first at his feet.

“You will not allow harm to come to your-- wait!” Astarion holds up a finger, brow furrowing. 

Thessa stares ahead blankly on all fours, an empty canvas awaiting his command.

“No,” he decides. “Not that.”

He taps the same finger against his lower lip, abruptly pensieve. He was about to say: you will not allow harm to come to your sire. But it was that command that caused Emilia to harm Naomi. And Emilia’s inability to conceive of nuance led to her downfall.

If he compels Thessa in the same manner, she’s likely to meet the same fate as the spawn that came before her. She’s not special or smart enough to steer herself towards any other outcome all on her own.

So he settles instead on: “You will not harm your sire or his bride. You will protect them both to the best of your ability.”

He can’t help but feel a small twinge of disappointment at how quickly the compulsion douses Thessa’s fire. His shoulders stung for an hour after her death: a product of the frantic, scorching spells she lashed at him as he drained every drop of blood from her body. Now, she merely lies limp in the dirt, haggard and panting, glaring daggers at her new master.

Claude surfaces shortly after. Astarion heaves him from the hole by the collar, setting him atop solid ground with little ceremony. The gnome echoes Thessa’s sputtering for air he no longer needs, but he refrains from any foolhardy aggression. He quivers as Astarion repeats the same compulsion he bestowed on Thessa. When it’s done, Claude’s wet, pleading eyes fix on Astarion. No longer are they colorless gray, but a gleaming, ruby red.

“H-hungry,” Claude stammers, voice fraught.

“Yes,” Astarion says with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Come, both of you.”

He leads them to the dining room, where he pulls out the chairs across from where he and his consort typically seat themselves. On grander occasions, the lavish hall hosts all manner of rich and powerful guests. Most days, it seats only two. 

Stiffly, Thessa sits. Claude nearly collapses into his chair, clutching the armrests for dear life. The man is pale, even by vampire standards. He always had a sickly pallor in life. Undeath didn’t relieve him of it.

The nearby hearth bursts to life with a snap of Astarion’s fingers. He crosses the hall to an ornate cabinet. The lock opens at Astarion’s mere touch. He takes a decanter, with velvet red liquid sloshing inside, and a pair of wine glasses from the cabinet before shutting it again and sauntering over to his waiting spawn. The lock re-engages with a faint click.

Claude’s eyes track his every motion. Thessa leans in, hypnotized by Astarion’s fingers toying with the glass stopper. It calls to mind a cat, with pupils blown wide, preparing for the perfect moment to pounce.

He’s not a monster. Well, not entirely. This isn’t an act of kindness. It’s necessary, if he doesn’t want them wilting over like desiccated waifs.

With a thin smile, Astarion twists the stopper free. The scent hits the roof of his mouth at once, rich, ripe, and succulent. He can see the second it reaches his spawn. Their eyes glaze over with raw, overwhelming want. Thessa’s lips twitch towards a snarl. The sound that seeps out instead is nearly obscene. Claude shudders hard enough to shake his chair, too.

“Wait until it’s set in front of you,” Astarion chides, carefully pouring each glass in turn. They recoil only slightly. “And do try to drink like you’re civilized.”

They can’t help but not be. Like meat tossed to starving dogs, reason leaves them, and instinct takes the reins. Between their frantic gulping, glass shatters. In only seconds, they’ve downed their first blood, and shed just as much of their own in the process. With a low growl, Thessa plucks shards from her lower lip. The same broken pieces glint from fresh cuts in Claude’s hands.

Astarion could’ve compelled them into composure, but the demonstration suits him. It’s an important lesson for any spawn of his to see how little control they have, and how much their sire holds.

“Now that you’ve become acquainted with your new nature,” Astarion says pointedly, fully aware their attention flits between him and the decanter he shifts casually between one hand the other, “ let me acquaint you with our current predicament. Your mistress…”

Astarion clears the abrupt thickness from his throat as he contemplates what to say to set his spawn to task. He could lie, say Naomi’s been wounded, or fell ill. But any vague excuse could raise suspicions of a make-believe weakness. And weakness, even if only pretended, is something fresh spawn would be all too hungry to exploit. Such is the way of those lowest in the ranks. There’s no time for needless distractions that could muddle their aims.

No, the truth will have to do. 

“...was the target of a powerful spell. It’s taken a great deal of her memories. You’re going to help me get them back. Your aid in this will be duly rewarded. And let me assure you: there is much I could reward you with, should I choose to.”

As if he snapped his fingers, their focus recenters on him.

“Claude, you will show Thessa to Emilia’s chambers. These are to be her chambers now. And then, you will take her to my study. There, Lady Gray, you shall discern how the caster who so harmed my beloved disintegrated into sand before anyone else could lay a finger on him. Claude will assist you with whatever you require. Neither of you are to leave the palace. And neither of you will speak of Naomi’s ailment to anyone else.”

Thessa’s eyes narrow. “I’m a sorcerer, not a wizard. I’m certainly not a healer or an alchemist.”

“If you’re not useful, you’d best endeavor to change. And quickly.” He offers a humorless smile. “You’re welcome, by the way. You won’t be able to tell by looking in a mirror, of course, but I’ve done wonders for those wrinkles of yours, darling.”

Hesitantly, her fingertips ghost across her own smoothed cheek, tracing upwards to the corners of her eyes. Her hand falls back to her side, gaze dropping to the floor. 

Quietly, she says, “My family will ask after me.”

Astarion clicks his tongue. “A secondary problem. One we can solve to your satisfaction, should you first earn mine.”

“Master,” Claude blurts, voice raw and rasping. “Might we have more?”

The gall of it! Anger sparks like waking embers in his gut. Astarion stills the decanter within his grip, holding it close to his chest.

“You might,” he croons, “but neither of you will unless I permit it.”

The gnome’s lip quivers. Perhaps he’s pushed poor Claude too far. No -- this is all heavenly compared to Cazador’s vampire orientation.

Astarion heaves an exasperated sigh. “For your own good, you’ll have to learn restraint. That learning starts now. It will be trying. But we’ve no time to be delicate, I’m afraid. I’m certain you can shoulder the burden.”

Sheepishly, Claude nods.  “Yes, my lord. To your new quarters then, Lady Gray.”

As they leave the hall, Astarion spies another figure stirring at the perimeter. It clacks across the tile, a broom and dustpan in skeletal hand. Ah. The maid. Another one of Naomi’s ‘spawn’.

This one, at least, seems intent on disturbing him as little as possible. The skeleton crouches as it nears the table, carefully collecting the remnants of the shattered wine glasses. Astarion repays its consideration by leaving it to its work.

He eyes the decanter of blood wistfully, but doesn’t hesitate as he replaces the stopper and stows it back inside the cabinet. Though he’s a man of immense appetites, tonight, he doesn’t intend to spoil his supper. Not this time.

He’ll be dining with Naomi, after all.

A/N: Thank you so very much for your patience! I've been battling a recurring sinus/respiratory infection that just won't quit. Between that and the holidays, this chapter took a little longer than I would've liked.

More Naomi and Astarion in the same room together in the next chapter ;) And, as some of you suspected, we’ll be seeing at least one other familiar face soon-ish, too.

HUGE thank you to the amazing, phenomenal, incredible @pinkberrytea for pre-reading this one, and for being a constant source of encouragement and inspiration. Please check out her lovely fic!

And a shout out as well to another dear friend, Garnett Gibson, who recently gifted me an amazing one-shot of non-amnesia Naomi x Astarion engaging in some steamy hunter/prey play. If you enjoy this story, or liked Blood in the Mortar, you'd love Garnett's one-shot. And their other wonderful fics, too!

Thanks for reading! <3

[sweetestlamb]

Remember Me

Author's note: I can't believe it's almost over. I'll miss them so much 😭😭 I've been meaning to write but life is lifing and I never have time so I quickly got this out and hope to post something else tomorrow.

Summary: I was made to love you in every universe.

It's like learning to breathe again after being submerged in water for too long, his lungs burn from the strain but his body knows what to do.

Inhale. Exhale. Remember.

Her smile on the rainy day and the way his heart stopped just for a moment to take her in.

The ache in his chest as she cried desperately lashing out in the hospital and the guilt that threatened to suffocate him.

How deeply he loved her and how full he felt when she finally loved him back, she never said the words but he felt her love all the same.

It was all erased without his permission and then suddenly it was pressing down on him until he could barely breathe. Memories. Not fantasies, or dreams or even hallucinations but memories from a life the he doesn't recall living but his heart does, it feels so real to him, so much so that he can't stop the tears from begin to pour from his eyes.

How could he forget her? How could she let him?

"Sun Jae? Are you in pain? Are you okay? I'll get the doctor."

He blindly grabs at his manager's hand stopping him before he can leave him.

"No. I need you to get Im Sol. I need to talk to her, right now."

"What? Why do you need to talk to her? You need to let this crush go! You almost died tonight, I was so worried about you!"

It doesn't make sense, nothing does anymore and he doesn't even know where to begin in explaining to Dong Seok, he just knows that he has to see Sol. He's never wanted anything more in his whole life, or lives.

"Please. Just get her."

He hears a deep sigh and then it's quiet again and now he just has to wait and hope that she'll come.

That she can help make sense of the mess in his head.

Although he tries to fight it, sleep is a worthy opponent and he loses the battle.

But at least in his sleep she finds him again smiling so beautifully that it's hard to believe that he could have ever forgotten her.

He remembers her laugh, the touch of her hand on his, and every kiss plays like a movie of someone else's life and it ignites a burning in his chest that he's only ever felt since meeting Im Sol.

I was made to love you.

He watches himself whisper those words to her and the gentle smile that forms on her face as she leans over to press their lips together.

But before they can touch he feels himself being shaken from his sleep and he almost rumbles, annoyed to be pulled from a memory so sweet but when he opens his eyes it's not Dong Seok that he sees but her.

His fate.

"What happened? Why are you here? Why are you hurt? You're not supposed to be hurt, I did all of this so you wouldn't ever get hurt!"

She wails at him, his chest tightens as he watches her cry again. Always crying for him.

"Sol. I missed you."

And that makes her freeze her eyes wide and glossy with unshed tears as she stares at him. He stares right back, lifting himself up into a seated position. He needs to sit for this conversation.

"What do you- I shouldn't have come here. I should go."

This time he takes her hand and refuses to let go. He's never letting go ever again. Even if it means he dies, death is worth the touch of her hand.

"Stop running away. I know you want me to live a long life but I can't be happy without you in it."

"What are you talking about? I wasn't talking about you when I said that I was talking about....uhhhh I meant-"

He lets her fumble trying to find a way to end her sentence but words escape her and he's done being without her.

" It's me. It's always been me and for me, it's always been you."

Her breath hitches and he reaches across to brush away the tears slowly trailing down her cheeks.

"How?"

"I remember everything. I know why you pushed me away and I know why you're scared to be around me."

For a moment it's like she's frozen in time and then everything erupts and she cries like a child, like her heart is broken and she's lost everything precious in this world, like a weight has been lifted and she's gained everything she's ever wanted.

"Come here." He draws her closer hugging her tightly, healing them both.

He rocks her back and forth as she weeps in his arms and he hums soothing words into her ears.

"You did good. I'm sorry I forgot you, I'm sorry I left you all alone."

Those words make her pull back and she shakes her head viciously.

"I wasn't lonely. I was fine. Everything was fine, I did what I had to do and I'd do it again."

And he takes offense. Anger so hot it burns rises up in his chest.

"Do you love me?"

His words are hard, they bite the air and smack her across the face.

It's an accusation. And he sees her anger form right back like clouds before a hurricane.

"Do I love you?! You remember everything and you're still asking me that?"

"Yes! You're still lying to me. You'd be fine without me? Well I wouldn't be fine without you! I need you, more than life."

"If you stay beside me then you'll die!"

"And if I don't then I won't live!

He grabs her face as shouts his final plea, baring his entire heart to her on a platter. He's always been consistent.

"Do you understand? If I don't have you then life isn't worth living, Sol. I was made to love you and only you. In every universe. That's my fate."

"Why? Why can't you love someone else? Why can't I save you? Why is fate so cruel?"

That he has no answer to. He's never had to watch her die but she's endured that pain too many times and he knows that's what held her back.

But it's different this time. He's not going to die.

"Nothing's going to happen. They got him. He's never going to hurt anyone ever again."

"Are you sure? He's.. Really..."

She stutters in disbelief and he nods, "Your friend got him. He saved my life too."

"Thank goodness. Thank goodness."

She collapses onto his bed and he tries to suppress the tinge of jealousy that flares. It's not the right time and she loves him, he's seen it through space and time.

"So, stop pushing me away. Please."

There is only silence and then there's sobs and she's gripping his hand just as tightly.

"I..... didn't want to. It hurt everyday. To watch you and know that I couldn't have you, to know that I'd never hear your voice or feel your arms around me or be there to comfort you. I cried every night. I wasn't fine. It felt like stabbing myself in the heart a million times. I-"

"Shhhh. It's okay now. Just give me all the love you've been hiding. I'll take it all."

"Can I?"

She sounds so young and sixteen year old Sol flashes in his mind.

"You can."

She squeezes his hand before bringing it to her mouth and placing a butter soft kiss on his skin.

Then she leans closer and reaches up to caress his face. She stares at him as if she's drinking him in and she says as much, "This beautiful face. I should have enjoyed it more when I had the chance."

He blushes, not used to being called beautiful but he doesn't contradict her. Who is he to deny a compliment?

"Enjoy it now. You can even take a picture."

Her giggle is music to his ears.

"Your ego got bigger."

"Hmmm that's not all that got bigger." He fires back straight faced and then he smirks as her tell tale blush colors her face a vivid red.

"Where is your mind right now? What are you thinking about Sol? Hmmm?"

"Nothing! Shut up! I wasn't thinking about anything dirt-!"

And he probably shouldn't do what he wants to because those other timelines weren't truly them, or were they? It's all so confusing but ever since he watched himself kiss her it's all he's been able to think about. He wants to kiss her desperately, hungrily.

He's too impatient to wait for her to catch up. He kisses her hard, then soft then hard again and it's everything. A taste that he forgot that suddenly takes him over and it's all he can remember now. He twists his head remembering that she liked that, then swipes his tongue in a move that used to make her moan.

"Sunjae.." she moans into his mouth.

Still makes her moan.

"You know he's still recovering you really shouldn't be sucking his face off quite yet." A voice rings it loudly breaking the tension in the room.

She bolts away from him but he doesn't loosen his hold on her. Instead he turns his head to glare at the intruder.

"Get out."

"No. You'll have a scandal if I leave, who knows how far you two will go..." Baek Inhyuk replies with a salacious wiggle of his brows.

It's probably for the best.

There's so much he wants to do with her, and he doesn't want an audience.

He just wants Im Sol.

Now, and forever.

[sunlighthroughthe-ashes]

"the earth was made for lovers — " and no purer lovers exist than sol and sunjae. fate fell in love with them at first glance: and how could it not? it knew what a miracle it was witnessing: two souls bound to each other beyond the reaches of death and life. forever intertwined. "how could you make me live without you?" sunjae asks — the devastation in his eyes almost a living thing; a bleeding heart. how indeed? how can two people that neither time nor evil could separate stay apart any longer? and then, right after: "i'm sorry i'm late." this boy — this beautiful, beautiful boy. after finding out that sol erased his memories, that he DIED for her — his first instinct is to apologize. TO APOLOGIZE for not remembering her earlier. and the childlike surrender in sol's sobs — because HER sunjae has finally returned. has remembered her. will no longer let her be alone: how she instantly reaches for him. how they reach for each other. a lifetime's worth of love, finally fulfilled. the fact that they got to celebrate just being with each other, savoring the sweetness of each other's company: it meant the world to me. when you walk with pain as your constant companion, ordinary moments like being held in someone's arms, waking up to the face of the person you love most — they take on a kind of holiness. and you can see that blessing bestow itself over both their heads; the profound relief and joy shining in their faces during every scene. because nothing can keep them apart any longer. the callbacks during this episode were beautiful: it means so much to me that sunjae put aside his proposal to let sol pursue her dream. it's the pinnacle of love — he's willing to wait as long as it takes. and why shouldn't he? they have all the time in the world, now. taesung's last scene being him smiling at a happy sol — wishing her well from the bottom of his heart. being the key to their freedom at last. never has a second lead storyline been resolved so gently, with so much kindness. i was in tears for the entire hour: i think my body broke into blossom, it was filled with so much pleasure seeing sol and sunjae be happy together at last. i've always been a reluctant cynic, but i felt my imagination bloom, soften into pink watching sunjae propose to sol while the cherry blossoms looked on, witnessing the weight of three timelines fall away at last — make space for the radiant future: a bride and groom with eyes for no one but each other. love is real. love is reachable, attainable, capable of pouring sunlight into the darkest recesses of the soul: only someone who truly believed that could have made this show. i have loved every second of lovely runner; and no second more so than their expressions at the very end: incandescent with joy, finally free of all fear. they are safe in their love for each other; in the sanctuary of each other's arms.

poet joy harjo said it best: "i am not afraid of love / or its consequence of light."

[urautismdiagnosis]

Ships hehe

BOATS (ships)

OK SO I won't tolerate anyone trashing aro ace people or queer platonic relationships or invalidating them, THAT OUT OF THE WAY TIME FOR HEADCANONSSS

barnacles and kwazii 🐻‍❄️💛🐱: I originally shipped them when I was like 12 lol

To me they're going to become a QPR and they mean the world to me.

I need to start actually posting my stories to showcase what's gonna happen BUT CMON GUYS THEY HAD AN ENTIRE EPISODE ABOUT THEM BEING A SYMBIOTIC RELATIONSHIP?!

Like I'm gonna be so real they were octopod POD mates. (Their rooms in the same bubble lol)

Kwazii is his ✨first mate✨

They're a married couple that doesn't realize it yet!I'm going to trauma bond them and no one can stop me. Cuz I've already done it 😎👍✨

They deeply trust eachother! I'm going to make barnacles hold what he thinks is kwazii dead in his arms! Barnacles loves this silly cat man! Kwazii loves to be appreciated and make barnacles proud! They emotionally support eachother! Kwazii is going to have nightmares about the captain dying in a horrific way that totally doesn't relate to the intens epsychological trauma I've given him! Barnacles wants to be useful and have someone to love but also someone to tell him its ok and that he doesn't have to be perfect or brave all the time! Kwazii wants to not be alone and prove himself to someone who truly sees the worth in him while being able to trust that they'd always stay loyal together! They have so many inside jokes and shared moments of near death experiences! Accordian music and shanties!

anyways onto SHELLINGTON AND DASHI AY AY AY AYYYY

Uhhh so I haven't posted their designs and my headcanons but yes Shellington is autistic to me (totally not me projecting but yall see the username. Ill get into why I think he's autistic on my character design post for him) and yes I think yk what? Maybe he was a little lonely and weird as a kid and yk what also? Maybe he does have some chronic pain too I dont make the rules (yes I do)

Anyways like shellington, I'm giving my baby issues and fears relating to not being like part of the group lol. Subconsciously anyways. And yk he found his people, the octonauts who value him and his interests and dont blame him for messing up lol and he likes himself as a person

(BTW he wouls totally try to adopt a cryptid like creature (new species!) abomination and name it Steve I already have an entire plot)

Do yall remember when they were sent to spend several weeks alone together in the midnight zone cuz I do

Regardless i think dashi just casually asked him ayyo wanna date and then he bluescreened LOL

As for dashi well, I'll get into her headcanons when I post her character design as well, but regardless she needs someone who understands and supports her passions without judgement yk?

She is so incredible,like photography, computer specialist, apparently technically a scientist, a surfer, able to pilot deep marine vehicles, got swallowed by a whale, did a flip from the manta ray while diving FRKM SEVERAL METWRS IN THE AIR INTO WAYER THAT WAS ABOUT TO HAVE LAVA POUR INTO IT???, and is a whole pilot now apaprently???

Like holy-

Anyways yeah dashi thinks shellington is an amazing single father with so much kindness and emotional intelligence and many many charming qualities 🥰

Shellington thinks dashi is Like actually a really really awesome person??? Like they both like organizing things!! Shes funny and smart!! They can both talk about eachothers interests and he likes to make her happy!! She's really cool and kind and helps him with stuff and she's super intelligent and charming! He just thinks she's oh so very cool. She's so confident and has kind eyes 🥰

Anyways yes

Btw just wanna say that tweak is like if u were aro ace to the max lolll shes just content with her life and friends lol

now for the penguin(s) in the room

ok so shes gonna be a plot relevant character in a story I've got in the works (The Oil RIg) it'll be a fun ride dw, but we love medic x depressed woman its great and yes I do think peso could pull any gal just by existing like straight up fight me on this fight me fIGHT ME-

ok not fight I'm not like that but I will stand on this hill till I die

but fr tho it was a whole telenovellahow they met omg- I'm talking the drama- thelore- thesoftmoments and the heartbreaking goodbyes- not to worry tho they do meet again and are like long distance(with tons of visiting) lol they have a very healthy relationship tho considering that shes like idk, ig fresh out of a like, very unhealthy environment

i ain't gonna spoil anything rn tho lol but she Gon save his life and he gon save hers and its gonna be beautiful<3 <3 <#

[aislinrayne]

[𝔐𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱] [𝔖𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔰 𝔐𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱]

𝔖𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: Lockwood wants Reader to go to the hospital. Reader does not want to go to the hospital. A mysterious visitor arrives...

ℜ𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤: M

𝔚𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: Language, alluded medical trauma, Reader has a past, dealing with fear via anger, allusions to unfortunate and untimely demise, canon typical violence... pretty sure that covers it!

𝔄𝔲𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔯'𝔰 𝔑𝔬𝔱𝔢: Two chapters in one week?? Who am I. There's only been a few major changes to this one since the original release as I was actually pretty happy with it, so I didn't want to make you wait any longer than was 100% necessary. Shorter word count on this one too since the next two are already monsters

𝔚𝔬𝔯𝔡 ℭ𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 2.66k

⇠ 𝔓𝔯𝔢𝔳𝔦𝔬𝔲𝔰 ���𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯

  “For the last time, I am not going to the fucking hospital!” she spits, the final threads of her restraint turning to spider’s silk and breaking under the weight of the fear hiding behind her anger.  Lockwood’s narrowed eyes glare daggers at her across the thinking cloth.  He scoffs as he leans back, crossing his arms defensively over his chest.

  He swears he can see steam pouring from her ears.  She swears he’s an argumentative prick.

  Their… ‘disagreement’ has been slowly building over the course of several hours, culminating in an explosion of epic proportions in the kitchen around lunch time.  She insists she’s fine, that she barely even has a headache left over from the incident the night before.  He insists she’s irritable, and is clearly having difficulties focusing.  George – who had spent the previous night in his old room after losing track of time researching an upcoming case – chimes in to mention that isn’t exactly out of the ordinary, and the look she gives him in response could probably peel paint.

  He mutters something under his breath about picking something up from Arif’s as he flees the room, grabbing his coat from the floor in front of its designated hook and opening their front door just as Lucy reaches the top step.  She quirks an eyebrow and opens her mouth to question his urgent departure, but he vehemently shakes his head to silence her.  Grabbing her by the wrist, he drags her behind him as he flees the scene of what he is certain will soon to be a crime.

  The first one to break the terse silence of their glaring contest is Lockwood.

  “Look, I’m not trying to be an arse-”

  “Since when do you have to try?” she interjects bitterly, pushing away from where she’d been leaning against the counter and raising her arms to rake her fingers through her hair.  He grits his teeth, trying to bite back a scathing rebuttal.  Her fingers lace behind her head and she stares at the ceiling as if begging for strength.  She paces back and forth in front of the kitchen sink like a caged animal, and his heart aches at the sight.  Even if he disregards whatever past she’s unwilling to disclose and only considers what he knows about the strength and nature of her talent, it’s understandable why she isn’t keen to be surrounded by the painful echoes of lives lost in a multitude of traumatic ways.

  That being said; some things are worth facing discomfort for, and her long-term safety will always be at the top of that list to him.  He takes a deep breath, schooling his expression into something more neutral before trying another approach.

  “I understand you don’t like hospitals, and I respect that you have your reasons,” he assents, “so what about a clinic?  Something small practice, with no ghost-locked patients?”  He uncrosses his arms and raises his palms in a placating manner, silently imploring her to be reasonable.

  She fixes him with a suspicious glare and he worries he’s accidentally stumbled upon a landmine, but it isn’t long before she visibly deflates, dropping her arms and staring intently at her now fidgeting hands instead of meeting his gaze.  While it wouldn’t remove the discomfort of the dull lights and surgical cleanliness, nor the chill she still gets from being around doctors in general, not having to be around ghost-locked residents would help a considerable amount…

  “Fine,” she eventually mumbles, more misery and reluctance packed into one syllable than he’d ever heard before.  She wants nothing more than to hide and wait for the problem to go away, but when he looks at her with those eyes – soft, pleading, filled with distress – she can’t say no to a half-decent compromise.  No matter how desperately she wants to. “but only on one condition.”

  “Anything,” he replies instantly.  He’s too relieved to be embarrassed by his immediate willingness to do whatever she’d ask of him, or by the breathless quality of his voice.

  She picks at the skin around her fingernails as she gets lost in a maze of tumultuous thoughts.  Showing any sign of weakness isn’t exactly easy for her.  Vulnerability is terrifying, and the concept of actually relying on someone else is as intimidating as it is foreign.

  Familiar with this pattern by now, Lockwood takes the time to gently rotate his neck and release some of the tension he’d built up.  He gives her the space she needs to muster the courage necessary to coax her thoughts into words.

  When she does speak again, it’s so quiet he almost can’t hear her.

  “Come with me,” she begs, her voice hardly more than a whisper.  It’s such a contrast to the bravado and indignant fury from earlier that it almost steals his breath away.

  He has to fight every fibre of his being as it screams to cross the table and hold her, to protect her from anything and everything that has ever made her feel the need to make herself small.  Suddenly he’s filled with hatred towards faceless memories he’s never even heard as more than fearful cries echoing through the house on the nights she wakes from night terrors she never speaks of come the light of day.

  It takes a moment for him to remember how to use his voice again.

  Anywhere, he wants to say.  “Of course,” he says instead; as though it were a fact, some kind of indisputable truth.  As though there was never any other way he could answer.  If he were to be completely honest with himself, there wasn’t.  He would do anything to have a front row seat to every glimpse of vulnerability showing through the cracks of her perfectly constructed mask. 

  

He’s distracted from his lovesick internal monologue by the sound of an urgent knocking on their front door.  

  The noise startles her. She jumps, lifting her head to meet his eyes.  She raises a challenging eyebrow at him.  It’s a look he knows is accusing him of arranging a meeting with a client today and forgetting about it.  He shrugs, replying with a series of nods and puzzled looks that he hopes conveys his understanding of her reasons for doubting him, but he genuinely doesn’t know who it could be.  He pushes himself out of his seat to go greet their guest.  

  The sound of her quiet footsteps on the linoleum tells him she’s not far behind, likely planning to eavesdrop from out of sight in case it happens to be trouble knocking.  Considering their track record, that’s probably a good call.

  His hand grasps the door handle– but something stops him from opening it immediately.  A strange shiver down his spine urges him to look through the peephole.  The first thing he sees is the top of a balding head, the portly man attached to it coming into view a few seconds later as he steps back to wait and wring his hands.  The man looks harmless enough.  Lockwood shakes off his unease, slides the locks back, and swings the door open theatrically.

  “Good afternoon, sir.  Anthony Lockwood of Lockwood and Co., at your service.  Do you have an appointment today?” he asks, extending his hand and donning his megawatt smile despite knowing damn well the startled little man did not.  

  The man in question stares with too-big eyes from behind too-small spectacles, and for a moment Lockwood can almost see a terrified mouse standing frozen on his welcome mat instead.    The man gasps and lurches forward, quickly stuffing a clammy and trembling hand into the one offered to him.

  “Oh, yes!  Yes, very good.  My name is Oscar Hughes, pleasure to make your acquaintance,” the mouse/man proclaims, shaking the offered hand vigorously, “I don’t have an appointment, but I do have some information that I think will pique your interest.”  

  The name lights a spark of recognition at the back of his mind, but Lockwood can’t quite put his finger on why, leaving him standing in awkward silence for a split second longer than he’s comfortable with.

  “Forgive me if I’m mistaken, but are you the same Oscar Hughes who owns the Lighthouse Theatre?” asks the woman behind him, and Anthony has the urge to either give her a raise or sweep her off her feet.  He makes a mental note to check their wages budget.  Oscar dips his head in confirmation, glancing down the street behind him with what seems to be concern.  

  “It appears I’ve been quite rude.  Terribly sorry, Mr. Hughes, why don’t you come in so we can talk in private?” Lockwood accepts the man’s cue and steps aside to allow him entry, returning to the picture of professionalism with zero hesitation.  He can almost feel the girl behind him fighting the urge to roll her eyes at him.  It’s only once he realises that the shorter man hasn’t moved that he sees the cane in his right hand, bowing under the strain of supporting the majority of his weight.  Internally scolding himself for becoming so distracted, Anthony offers Oscar his arm to cross the raised threshold.  

  As her boss helps the fidgety man into their foyer, she offers him a reassuring smile and extends her hand to take his jacket.  He bows his head repeatedly in thanks, firing off a few rapid sentiments of gratitude before allowing himself to be led into the sitting room to discuss the case.

  Lockwood takes a seat in the armchair, gesturing to the loveseat to convey his want for their potential client to sit across from him.  Oscar hesitates for a split second before shuffling over and dropping onto the well worn cushions.

  “Now, that’s much more comfortable.  All that’s missing now is some tea and biscuits; would you mind, love?” his voice is soft, the pet name slipping past his lips before he has a chance to think about it.  There’s a pause, the slight twitch of his brow the only significant outward sign of his immediate panic.  Thankfully, she takes it in stride and exits the room with a quiet affirmation and an air of purpose.

  He doesn’t see the blood rushing to her cheeks, or notice her relief at being given an excuse to exit stage right to compose herself.  He does find the lack of ribbing slightly unusual, but he figures she’s probably trying not to embarrass him in front of their client.  That theory is swiftly dismissed when he remembers she would definitely jump at the opportunity to do precisely that.

  He’ll have time to worry more about the implications of that when there isn’t a potentially high-profile client sitting less than five feet away from him, he reminds himself.  

  Clearing his throat, Lockwood leans back into his seat, crossing his legs and fixing the cuffs of his sleeves in one smooth motion.  

  “Excellent!  While we wait, Mr. Hughes, I believe you’d mentioned having some information that might interest me?”

  “Right, to the point, then.  You may have heard of the tragic case of Alexandra Wright?” he stares at the younger man expectantly, waiting for confirmation as if the whole of Marylebone hadn’t been following the case for years.

  Alexandra Wright had been a young local stage actress at the start of a very promising career when she’d suddenly disappeared without a trace.  She’d been playing Titania in a production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream in Mr. Hughes' own theatre on the last evening anyone had seen or heard from her.  She’d declined her Oberon, Matthew Moffat’s invitation to have a celebratory drink with the cast on the eve of their final performance, opting instead to go home for a quiet evening with her feline companion and a bottle of wine.  

  Unfortunately she’d never made it back to her flat.  Death wasn’t exactly uncommon even in those days, but it was the mystery of it all that made it so hard for the town to move on.

  Occasionally there would be whispers of spottings; the grocer down the way who closed late one night would swear he’d seen her hurrying along from ghost lamp to ghost lamp, or Mrs. Peterson who swore her granddaughter had told her of seeing a ghost perfectly matching Alexandra’s description.

  Despite the small town rumblings and rumours, no legitimate reports of a Visitor matching her description had been seen since her unusual disappearance.

  Until now, if one were to believe the claims of Mr. Hughes.

  Apparently, the ghost of Ms. Wright had been Visiting an alley adjacent to the theatre, leaving those unlucky enough to have to pass through even before curfew with a persistent sense of dread.  Those with Talent who lived in the flats above the alley reported seeing her wailing as she tried to drag herself away from the invisible echo of the assailants responsible for her untimely demise.

  His associate had returned part way through Oscar’s account, and when she steps away after handing their guest his cup she looks downright nauseas.

  Lockwood can’t resist the urge to reach out and run the back of his fingers comfortingly up and down the back of her arm.  She turns her head to give him a grateful little smile, and surprises him by moving to perch on the armrest of his chair instead of taking one of the other empty seats in the room.  He’s never been more unsure about what to do with his hands.

  “As you can imagine, these rumours haven’t exactly encouraged paying customers to come knocking,”  Hughes laughs dryly, his eyes portraying an edge neither of them had thought him particularly capable of.

  “My team and I will investigate tomorrow evening, and I assure you we will do so with the utmost discretion,”  Lockwood flashes him his signature grin, easily gathering the underlying meaning behind the man’s words as he leans back 

  “Oh, well, you see…  Time is of the essence, if I dare be so bold.  I was hoping you’d be willing to take a look this evening.”

  Lockwood considers him for a moment.  On one hand, he’s certain Lucy would tan his hide if she caught wind of him taking on a case of this magnitude without her.  On the other, there are so many similarities between the cases of Alexandra Wright and Annabel Ward that even after all these years he finds himself eager to solve it without sticking her in the middle of it all.

  And George…  Well, with his Talent now gone, George preferred to avoid being in the field whenever possible.  The likelihood of a scolding from him was much lower than it would have been when they were young.  Hell, Flo would probably even thank him for keeping the man out of it–

  A hand resting featherlight on his shoulder pulls him from his thoughts.

  When he turns to look at her, her eyes are already on him, and they’re glittering with excitement.  She knows as well as he does what solving this mystery could do for Lockwood & Co., and for him.  He’d told her about Fairfax and Ward when they had started becoming closer to friends than colleagues.  About the crushing frustration and disappointment that had hounded him for years after, urging him to make impulsive and reckless decisions to try and regain what he felt had been stolen from him.

  Frustration at a system supposedly put in place to protect Agents being manipulated to treat them as tools and nothing more, disappointment at having the crown jewel accomplishment of the legacy he’d been trying so hard to build torn from his hands mere moments after earning it. ‘Do it,’ her eyes seem to urge, ‘say yes.’  His heart soars.

  Emboldened by her touch and eager to right a wrong once done upon him, ignoring a strange sense of dread as that familiar feeling of invincibility settles over him, he fixes his eyes on their client once more.

  “All right, Mr. Hughes.  We begin at sunset.”

𝔑𝔢𝔵𝔱 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯 ⇢

taglist (if your name is in bold, it wouldn't let me tag you!):

❁ @shakespearseclipse ❁ @tessas4 ❁ @chloejaniceeee ❁ @ettadear ❁

❁ @kassandra1000 ❁ @stardust611 ❁ @ell0ra-br3kk3r ❁

❁ @hellojameshowyadoin ❁ @Sarahhelpimsinking ❁ @soapshipper ❁

❁ @myownpainintheass ❁ @furblrwurblr ❁ @sleep-i-ness ❁

❁ @uku-lelevillain ❁

[spreadmysushi]

I like a good massage. It helps me release all the pent up stress.

When I entered the warm room he asked me to strip and lay down on the table. I tied up my hair and did as he asked. I loved being told what to do, it makes my life easier.

He slowly pours oil and begins to massage my body all through my back, dipping to the side of my breasts. It tickles which causes the towel on my butt to move. "More surface to cover" He comments as he pours more oil on my now uncovered butt. He slowly dips his hands down to my thigh.

"Right there, it hurts so much from working all day"

"Sure ma'am, wherever you say it hurts"

His fingers graze my pussy and he apologizes. It must have been an honest mistake. He must've tried to clean the bit of oil that flowed down my butt onto my pussy. He continues to massage my thighs.

He asks me to move over so he can take care of my chest. Those hurt too from wearing a bra all the time. He sweetly rids me of the pain by flicking over my nipple multiple times. He slowly moves from my breasts to my hips and back to my thighs. I don't question, obviously because I told him it's where he hurts. He dips his fingers on my mound and the edge of my parts.

He slowly massages my clit.

"Is this part of the massage?" I ask confused and aroused. "Yes ma'am it's a full body massage". Hmm.

His fingers dip into my hole slowly and steadily. Was this a part of the package, I wonder, as his other hand works my breast. He seems to seek friction for his cock too with the edge of the massage bed.

"You see ma'am, the fully body massage requires all holes to be covered as well, so your mouth must be open for the rest of this massage" I shrug mindlessly and open my mouth. Suddenly I feel a weight pulsing inside my mouth, I open my eyes to see his fat cock in my mouth.

" you see ma'am at the moment we don't have our necessary tools, we are working on that in the mean time we are required to do this for our clients does it feel good?"

I suck his cock, While I find myself agreeing to his coincidental inconveniences. It must be pretty weird. He did all he could to give me my money's worth. He even used the same technique he did with my mouth in my pussy. It was quite effective.

But as his fingers work my clit and his cock is stuffed in my mouth, I'm confused yet happy

It was a thorough massage indeed.

[brainddeadd]

Heartbreak Girl

part 2

the song (if yall don't know this song then im too old to be on this damn app)

William had lost count of how many times he’d seen her sitting across from him, looking defeated. They’d been best friends for years, so naturally, she’d come to him every time one of these relationships ended in heartbreak. And every time, William had sat there, silently cursing the guys who never seemed to understand her worth. Every time, he held back the words he wanted to say—words he knew would only complicate things between them.

Tonight was no different. She was sitting on his couch, a glass of wine in hand, staring off into the distance with that familiar look of disappointment. She was pouring her heart out, telling him how the guy she’d been seeing just wasn’t who she thought he was. And William? He just sat there, listening and aching, wishing he could say the words he’d kept locked up for so long.

In the background, his playlist shuffled, landing on a song he usually skipped when she was around. But tonight, he let it play, the lyrics striking a little too close to home:

"I dedicate this song to you, The one who never sees the truth That I can take away your hurt…"

He risked a glance at her, seeing the familiar pain in her eyes. Part of him wanted to grab her hand and tell her exactly what was on his mind—that he’d do anything to be the one to make her happy, to take away every ounce of heartbreak she’d ever felt. But he knew better. She saw him as her best friend, the one she came to when things fell apart.

Still, the words tugged at him, the song echoing what he’d wanted to say for years. He couldn’t stop himself from softly singing along to the next lines, barely above a whisper:

"Hold you tight straight through the daylight I'm right here, when you gonna realize That I’m your cure?"

She looked up at him, eyes softening as she listened to him sing. “You know, you’re such a good friend, Will,” she said with a small, sad smile. “You’re always there for me when I need you.”

“Yeah,” he said, forcing a smile, trying to keep his voice steady. “That’s me. Always here when you need me.”

His words were sincere, but they held so much more meaning than she knew. To her, he was the dependable friend, the one who listened to all her stories and made her laugh when she felt down. But to him, she was so much more. She was the one he’d been falling for, quietly, helplessly, every time she leaned on him for support. He was her heartbreak cure, the one who could make her feel whole, if only she’d let him.

She sighed, setting her glass down and leaning back, her head resting on his shoulder. “Why can’t I find a guy who’s actually good for me?”

William’s heart skipped a beat. He wanted to scream, to tell her I’m right here, to make her see the way he looked at her every time they were together. But he kept it in, afraid to risk what they had. “Maybe,” he said softly, his voice almost a whisper, “maybe the right guy is just… waiting for you to notice him.”

She laughed lightly, missing the seriousness in his tone. “Yeah, maybe.” She squeezed his hand, giving him that familiar grateful smile that always made his heart twist. “I’m lucky to have you, Will. You’re my rock.”

“Anytime,” he said, his voice steady even though his heart was breaking a little more.

As the song played on, William just held her hand, staying right by her side. Someday, he hoped she’d see what he felt, what he’d been trying to show her for years. But until then, he’d be her heartbreak cure, silently waiting for the day she’d finally realize she’d had what she needed all along.

[strawbbzombwie]

A day worth celebrating.

Eric x Bonnie

Summary: Bonnie wants her big brother to have an amazing birthday so with her stuffed rabbit and pocket full of coins, she sets out on an adventure!

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings:Pure fluff with a teensy bit of angst sprinkled in at points, reference to Bonnie’s leg pains, Eric being a worried father and also miserable😔

Notes: @ceriseheaven giving him the birthday he deserves thanks to Bonnie🥹

~

Eric doesn’t particularly like celebrating his birthday. He never got a proper birthday as a child and now with Bonnie, he celebrates his birthday when it’s her birthday.

They normally split a small cake between them, watch Bonnies favourite cartoons and play games. By the end of the day, Bonnie’s wrapped up in Eric’s bed fast asleep and he may go out for a little while to see his friends from law school.

This birthday was different.

Eric was born on March 19th while Bonnie was born on August 13th and she wanted Eric to have a birthday of his own for a change so he would finally be happy.

March 19th 2020.

Bonnie woke up, rubbing her eyes as she yawned. Eric still asleep beside her. He didn’t have the money to buy Bonnie her own bed so he had to share his bed with a wriggling 5 year old. Most nights he didn’t sleep, too worried about Bonnie getting hurt in her sleep but this was a time he was finally able to fall asleep, probably due to exhaustion.

She slowly crawled out of the warm bed, grabbing her stuffed rabbit and putting on her bunny slippers. The sound of rain pattering against the windows made Bonnie giggle. She always loved rain but hated thunder as the loud bangs overwhelmed her.

“Oki wabbit. We’re going to go on an adventure today to get dada a cake!” Bonnie whispered, waddling into the small kitchen and grabbing a small bowl to fill with her choice of sugary cereal.

After her breakfast, she grabbed her pink raincoat and boots and also put wabbit in a matching raincoat and boots. She grabbed all her coins and dollar bills and placed them in her pocket and quietly waddled to the door.

“Wabbit am I forgetting something??” She asked to her stuffed friend, looking at her outfit. She stayed in her fluffy pink pyjamas with her glittery leg braces on underneath. She had a struggle buckling them up herself as Eric normally does them for her. But she decided to be a big girl and do them herself!

Recently, Bonnie’s legs had been hurting more and more. No matter how many doctor appointments Eric took her too, they all said that her condition was the same and not declining but Eric knew to trust his instinct more. The doctors gave Bonnie a wheelchair and leg braces for when she was in pain and Eric did his best to decorate them and make them all sparkly for her. He took all of her stickers and added them to her wheelchair and when he showed her, she squealed and ran to hug Eric. It warmed his heart knowing that she loved him so much. Eric thought that he wasn’t capable of being loved but Bonnie proved him otherwise.

Bonnie decided that she was ready to go to the store to buy Eric a cake, ready to give him the best birthday she possibly could.

After taking the lift to the bottom floor, she stepped outside into the rain and the cold March air. It was still dark outside and quiet, people not waking up to go to work yet.

“Oki wabbit keep your raincoat on otherwise you’ll be soggy!!” Bonnie giggled, beginning to walk down the street. This was the first time Bonnie was ever out on her own. She was 5 after all. Eric taught her about stranger danger and the only time she needed to speak to someone was when she buys the cake so she knew not to talk to anyone else.

~

The rain was pouring by the time Bonnie made it to the small store. She waddled into the building, making her way to where all the cakes and treats were. The cashier glanced over and was visibly confused.

“Are you okay hun? Where’s your mommy?” They said, walking over to Bonnie. She looked up at the worker, smiling.

“I’m getting a cake for my dada! It’s his birthday today!!” Bonnie giggled. The worker smiled back.

“Ohh okay! Do you want any help??” They asked. Bonnie shook her head and went back to looking at the cakes. The worker smiled, beginning to walk back to the cash register.

Bonnie grabbed wabbit out of her pocket, who was a little soggy due to the rain. She hugged him tight and pointed to a cake.

“What about this one wabbit? It’s chocolate so it will be yummy!” She asked, making wabbit nod in return. She smiled, picking up the cake and waddling to the register and going on her tippy toes to place the cake on the counter.

“I want this please!!” Bonnie says, looking up at the worker, a smile spread across her face. The worker smiles back and scans the small cake.

“Okie dokie thats $10!” They say. Bonnie reaches into her pocket and pulls out a few dollar bills and a variety of different coins and drops them onto the counter. She steps back as the worker counts all the coins. They dont have the heart to tell Bonnie that she’s a little short on the money. She is a child after all and like she said, it’s for her dad’s birthday, why would they ruin that day.

“Here’s your cake!! I hope your dad has a great birthday!” They smile at her and hand her the small box. Bonnie squeals, grabbing the box and running out of the shop.

“Thank you!!” She yells as she runs out the door, placing wabbit back on her raincoat as she makes her way back home.

~

Bonnie quietly opens the door, looking around the apartment to find Eric nowhere to be seen. She smiles, placing the cake on their small coffee table as she throws her raincoat on the floor, grabbing wabbit and placing him on the small sofa.

She runs to Eric’s bedroom, grabbing all her toys and places them on the sofa and floor, leaving a space for Eric in the middle. She giggles, happy with her layout and hoping that Eric would like her effort.

~

Eric rushes through the apartment door, panicking. When he woke up to find Bonnie’s side of the bed empty, he thought bonnie went to the toilet but after a couple of minutes, the bathroom was still silent. This puzzled Eric as he would normally hear Bonnie humming as she washes her hands. But all he heard was silence. So when he opened the bathroom door to find no Bonnie, he started to panic and ran out of the apartment, frantically calling his friends asking them to keep a lookout for Bonnie if they see her. When his friend text him saying they saw her waddling home in the rain, he immediately ran back to the apartment.

“Bonnie!! Where have you been?! I’ve been worried sick!!” he yelled. He didn’t want to yell at her, but he’s trying so hard to raise her and give her the childhood she deserves. The childhood he never got. His heart dropped when he saw Bonnie’s smile fade and her chocolate button eyes fill up with tears.

“I’m sorry..wanted to get a cake for your birthday..” she sniffled, pointing to the coffee table. He glanced over and teared up at the sight. On the table was a chocolate cake. Eric’s favourite. All of Bonnie’s toys and teddys were sat on the couch and floor, wearing makeshift party hats Bonnie made. Next to the cake, was a card Bonnie made herself, a picture of Eric in a party hat drawn in crayons, which were still scattered on the floor. He bent down and picked up the card, opening it to read the message she wrote.

“To Dada,

Happy birthday to the best dada in the whole wide world!!

Love from your bestest friends Bonnie + Wabbit”

Eric didnt realise he was crying until he felt the tears roll down his cheeks and his vision begin to blur. He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve a cake, a card, a party and he certainly didn’t deserve Bonnie. Not in his opinion anyway. He looked after bonnie when no one else would, even though he was technically her brother, he’s been her dad for as long as Bonnie could talk. He’s seen her first steps, her first words, her first everything. He’s been there when their parents weren’t bothered to be.

“Bee..hey sh sh..I’m sorry..I didn’t mean to yell..I was just worried because you were out all on your own..anything could’ve happened to you..” he said, kneeling down to face a sniffling Bonnie, wiping the tears away from her chubby cheeks. Bonnie looked at Eric, sniffling and trying her best to smile.

“I’m sorry..I just wanted you to have a birthday..” she sniffled. She didn’t understand why what she did was wrong and dangerous. Eric sighed, picking Bonnie up and embracing her in a hug.

“I can never stay mad at you bee. You mean too much to me. You know that right?” He says, ticking her side, causing her to squeal and giggle. He was happy that he finally got her to smile. He sat down on the couch, being surrounded by toys while Bonnie is sat on his lap.

“Should we have some cake??” Eric asked, Bonnie immediately nodding in response, also making wabbit nod.

~

The day went by quickly, being packed full of fun activities. Eric and Bonnie shared the small cake, Eric feeding Bonnie small pieces so she didn’t make a huge mess while eating it. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a birthday cake on his actual birthday. He usually shared his birthday with Bonnie in August seen as he couldn’t afford to celebrate his own but he wanted her to have the best birthdays. He didn’t care about treating himself but it warmed his heart knowing that Bonnie wanted Eric to have a day all about him.

After cake, they both sat watching cartoons, Eric having Bonnie sat on his lap, holding her close as she sang along to the songs on their small tv. Bonnie was making wabbit dance, making Eric laugh.

“You’re so silly!” He said, squeezing her as he kissed her cheek, making Bonnie laugh in response.

When it came to having dinner, Eric’s friends came around and brought takeout for the two of them. They also said at some point when Eric’s free, they would take him out for drinks to celebrate. When Eric moved to New York, he didn’t expect to make many friends as he never had any growing up, mainly being used to keeping things to himself and doing activities alone. But when he started classes at law school, he met a group of people he shared similar interests with. And when Eric introduced them to Bonnie, they immediately fell in love with her, offering to babysit her whenever Eric’s busy. That made Eric happy, finally finding people that cared about him and Bonnie.

By 7pm, Bonnie was fast asleep in Eric’s arms, holding wabbit within her own. After dinner, they had spent the evening drawing and playing games with the rest of her toys. Eric was always surprised by Bonnie and her big imagination. She was able to create games with what little toys she had. It made Eric upset that he wasn’t able to give her everything she wanted but she didn’t mind. She wasn’t ungrateful and she loved and cherished everything he gave her.

Eric got up from his seat, cradling Bonnie in his arms as he made his way to his bed, placing Bonnie down and tucking her in the covers. She mumbled slightly, stretching her arms out to try and grab Eric again.

“I’ll be back soon bee..sleep well okay?” He whispered, getting a soft murmur in response as Bonnie continued to sleep. He walked back into the living room and started to clear up the plates, quietly placing them in the sink. He went back to the couch, picking up all of Bonnie’s toys and putting them back in her toy box. He liked the apartment to be as clean as possible but with a 5 year old, that was tricky. He didn’t mind though, just as long as she has fun.

After cleaning up the apartment, he went into the bathroom to change into some pyjamas and brush his teeth. He already got Bonnie changed into her pyjamas after dinner so he was glad he didn’t have to worry about waking her up.

He quietly climbed into bed, making sure not to disturb Bonnie. He didn’t have the money to buy Bonnie her own bed but she didn’t mind as she got to give Eric cuddles all the time. Every morning he always woke up to Bonnie asleep on his chest, hugging him as she continued to sleep, snoring lightly.

As he began to fall asleep, he looked at Bonnie, who was asleep and snuggling into wabbit. He felt guilty that Bonnie did the best she could to try and make a great birthday for him, but he knows she’d do it a thousand times if it showed how much he meant to her. He didn’t know a child to love a person so much as Bonnie loved Eric.

“Thank you bee..you gave me a day to remember..I love you..” he mumbled, stroking her hair as he began to fall asleep, the light sound of rain still tapping against the glass.

~

I hope you enjoyed more Eric and Bonnie content!! Thank you for reading!!💖💖