#and seeing how annoying he can be when lwj is on the phone with lqr

[merlinsbed]

edit: now with a vaguely related fic! (I got really stuck on wwx doing star wars impressions to annoy his husband)

omg so thinking about this post and imagining a modern day untamed au in which the juniors are in college and taking classes from professor lan wangji and professor wei wuxian and like lwj tells his students NOTHING about his personal life like students will point blank ask him about things and he will just. not respond. a few times a question has been yelled out in class out of desperation to see if they can surprise him into answering and he won’t even stop teaching he’ll just continue on like nothing happened and the offending student will just slowly sink back into their seat in horrified despair because professor lan may not be acknowledging you but you can feel the silent judgement all the same

meanwhile wwx will walk into class and be like “last night my husband refused to have sex with me because I wouldn’t stop doing bad star wars impressions while he was on the phone with his uncle earlier but he made me pancakes for breakfast so I’ve decided I’m not divorcing him.” his students are kept up to date on all the latest jiang family gossip and exactly how much he dislikes his brother in law jin zixuan at any given time and also has he showed them these baby pics of his nephew yet? he has? well, see them again because they’re adorable. what’s that? oh we’ll get to the material in a moment just look at how cute his nephew was as a baby!

the thing is, despite knowing an almost disturbing amount about professor wei’s personal life, in particular his husband, they don’t actually know his husband’s name. they have no idea who professor wei is actually married to.

meanwhile over the course of the term all their shared students get caught up in the drama of professor lan and professor wei’s relationship with each other. because at first they could have sworn that professor lan finds professor wei annoying and they just tolerate each other as colleagues. but then someone sees them having lunch together one day and swears on all their ancestor’s graves that they saw professor lan smile so okay maybe lwj and wwx are actually friends. then they notice the way lwj tends to stare longingly at wwx whenever he’s around and how he’s always just a little bit softer when wwx is around and uh oh that’s not good because wwx is very much married but as they watch all of this unfold they notice that wwx is definitely flirting with lwj. which is just mean if they’re really friends he shouldn’t string lwj along like this and does his husband know he spends a lot of time at work flirting with another man?

they’re starting to wonder if they should stage some kind of intervention or if that would be way overstepping their boundaries but professor lan, despite being terrifying when you first meet him, is actually very nice and they don’t want to see him get hurt like this and even if professor wei sometimes complains about his husband he always insists he loves him so shouldn’t they stop this before it gets out of hand?

“anyway we’re thinking of planning some kind of intervention,” ouyang zizhen finishes explaining to his friends (who have somehow seemed oblivious to the professor drama going on). jingyi starts laughing so hard there are tears leaking out of his eyes. sizhui snorts inelegantly before managing to get his reaction under control.

jin ling frowns and tells zizhen, “my uncle isn’t trying to cheat on his husband with professor lan dispshit. professor lan is his husband.”

needless to say, after zizhen manages to process this massive misunderstanding, the information disseminates quickly. sizhui makes sure to tell his dads. lwj is touched that his students were so concerned about him. wwx finds it hilarious. he walks into his next class and says, “so for those of you who missed it I am, in fact, married to professor lan. when I told the story of that one time I busted out my palpatine impression in bed and my husband just got up and walked out of the room, that was him. he doesn’t like students knowing about his personal life though so I leave his name out when I tell you guys things. but now you know that was him.”

there’s a lot of mixed feelings about knowing this information as all of their students realize that all of the stories wwx has ever told them about his husband are about lwj and some of wwx’s stories about his husband are just. batshit insane and absolutely not something they can imagine lwj doing. (no way did respectable, rule abiding professor lan try to steal someone’s roosters in what wwx suspects in retrospect was some weird drunken proposal attempt from his then boyfriend.)  lwj somehow manages to even more pointedly ignore anyone who asks him whether or not wwx’s stories are true.