#and scratch the itches in brains
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I feel the need to tell you I have written a fic on the hijack arranged marriage au, where I have gotten up to RTTE, I don't blame you but like…I've re-written all of DoB, I fear the word count, and because of you I have other hijack fics. I both thank you, and ask why.
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i love you
#sea replies#hijack#arranged marriage au#I WANNA READ IT TOO#GIMME#GIMMEIT#ON MY KNEES#you are doing this for the greater good#a good cause#to feed hyperfixations#and scratch the itches in brains
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i read legends and lattes recently and now i just think karlach should have a coffee shop
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#shadowlach#shadowheart#karlach#the first one is based on the cover art bc i love it. so much#cANNOT RECOMMEND IT ENOUGH#cosiest book of the year#it scratches such a specific itch in my brain that i didn't know i had#the whole time i was reading it i was like. this would be karlach
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what makes us any different?
#my art#alien stage#alien stage spoilers#i finally scratched the itch in my brain just a lil#anyways i am fondly thinking abt comic of ivan antagonizing sua and respectfully sir ur a clown (me saying this while crying)#tfw ur both dead eyed dark haired high achievers who love deeply and would risk it all for ur person#i love that they r so similar in the lengths they'll go to but they're also like ewwww at each other#ivan and sua alien stage u'll always be famous to me
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because, if nothing else, i am predictable lmao i'm pretty sure i'm not even in Act 2 of DATV yet lmao...i love them all, they're all my favorite
#dragon age the veilguard#datv spoilers#datv rook#lucanis x rook#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age#fanart#doodle#look look look look hes got a demon in him and both he and the demon love rook ok so like it just hits all the specific interests in me#its a situation that scratches that deancas spn brain rot itch#dragon age fanart
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Dance untill the sun sets
[ID in Alt Text and under the cut.]
ID: A digital drawing of the Lamb and Narinder from the video game Cult Of The Lamb, dacing over a blue background. The Lamb is drawn with a short ponytail, wearing white shorts and a red top with short sleeves, as well as arm and leg guards. Their back is facing Narinder who is holding one of their hands up above their head. Narinder is drawn as his follower form, wearing wide pants and a red shirt with wide, shoulder-length sleeves. Both characters are smilling and have a slight blush over their face.
#Narinder indulging the fuck out of mortal life will always be everything to me#i love concepts of him being bitter and mad about being amongst mortals after being defeated#but i ADORE concepts of him (+ the bishops) being so fucking happy with mortal life it scratches an itch in my brain#rediscover the joy and beauty of mundane life through the eyes of a former god#cotl#cotl fanart#cotl narinder#cotl lamb#cult of the lamb#fanart#itchyballsart
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Your Arthur art of him thinking a TV is a magic mirror makes me think that he would have freaked tf out the first time he heard a phone ring.
"MERLIN! WHERE IS THAT ACCURSED NOISE COMING FROM!?" lmao
Old timey peoples reacting to modern tech is obvious, what I'm always more curious about is old timey people reacting to modern music for example, or a supermarket (this just in: medieval man faints in a Walmart)
I love Arthur and Merlin, I shall never get over them. Love <3 your art, it is most wonderful
Coming soon: Arthur in a grocery store
#OLD TIMEY PEOPLE FREAKING OUT OVER MODERN THINGS IS JUST SO IMPORTANT TO ME#I can’t explain it it scratches an itch in my brain#I can imagine that sword has done a lot of damage to Merlin’s flat#my art#ask#bbc merlin#merlin#arthur pendragon#merlin emrys#merthur
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I've wanted you long enough that I won't have you tease me for another fucking second.
#more couch scene 🙂↕️#mostly bc i love when henry kisses that hollow spot under the key? it scratches such an itch in my brain#*#rwrbsource#red white and royal blue#rwrb#firstprince#henry x alex#alex claremont diaz#henry fox mountchristen windsor#filmedit#movieedit#filmgifs#moviegifs#lgbtedit#fyeahmovies#usergay#iuserzoe#chrissiewatts#userlaro#firstprinced#userclara#tusertha#tusermira#usertj#usermandie#userthai#usermegsb#i made these slow on purpose but now idk if it looks weird. w/e
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Being in the Pennyworth fandom will have you googling shit like "How to fortify an umbrella against acid rain" to try and give a smidge of credibility to the storyline you're plotting.
Meanwhile, the official writers are just giving interviews like, "Yeah, the mad cultists who got turned into super weapons by a drug activated by a popular song sung by Alfred Pennyworth's pop star girlfriend survived the nuclear bomb that got dropped on London, so now there are these irradiated mutant cultists cannibals roaming the streets of London who go ballistic for 70s pop ballads. What do you mean, 'how did we plan to resolve that?'"
#pennyworth the tv show#I need this hyperfixation to die#but there's so little content for this part of the extended Batman fandom#and my brain is just like 'if we can't scratch this insane itch with reading fanfic we will simply create it'#and I am going mad
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In honor of the new episode and hoshina being the stabby vice captain that he is, I present my favourite frame of hoshina from volume 4
Goofy ass vice captain /pos
#kaiju no. 8#kn8#soshiro hoshina#i like him lookin all fucked up#NOT IN A SEXY WAY#THE ART STYLE JUST SCRATCHES MY BRAIN ITCH#its a good look for him dont come at me
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im obsessed with this actually
#it scratches an itch in my brain#how me move like thattttt#roman reigns#solo sikoa#wwe#wwe bad blood
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I can't stop thinking about giving Steve a languid, and tortuously slow hand-job. His t-shirt is rucked up enough to show off his soft hairy tummy, and his boxers are pulled down just enough to free his heavy cock from where it was eagerly tenting underneath the material. It's quiet, and neither of you are in any hurry. His pink tip is streaming with pre-cum to slick your fist as you stroke him. You're leaning into him, your lips pressing a hot trail of kisses into his neck whilst he lets out soft little whimpers of pleasure. His freckled skin is flushed with a scarlet pink sheen as he desperately begs for his release. When you finally take pity on him enough to stop your teasing, his stomach muscles tense and he's spilling rope after rope over the knuckles of your fist.
#no surprises but I'm thinking about him again this evening#I just think there's something about slightly subby whiny steve idk?#it just scratches a particular itch in my brain#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x reader smut
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I LOVE MAKING SUPER NICHE CONTENT FOR THE 5 OTHER FREAKS THAT GET IT!!!!!!
@goddisposez
#I love that there’s ppl that get my vision#even if it was just one person be sure I’d still make content just for you my beloved#I love when people match my freak when it comes to this things that’s so removed from anything close to the canon#but it scratches an itch in my brain#btw I do think in order for the story to pack its (anti imperialist) punch the men need to day#*die omg#BUT I WANT TO SEE THEM HAPPY#ISH#the terror#the terror amc#edward little#ned little#thomas jopson#froggerart
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I do think being a waitress has done one great thing with respect to writing: it has made me understand deeply and fundamentally how many writers are full of shit. It has altered my view of privilege and money and the ways that people complain that mask the fact that in their world, they would never have to do a job that equates to basic manual labor, because their intelligence is worth more than waiting on others. (Side note: Sweetbitter was an overrated waitressing book, Love Me Back is underrated.)
Maybe by accident, maybe on purpose, I fell in to a social group in New York City with many people who consider themselves to be intellectuals. I’ve been privy to countless conversations about how intellectual labor is labor, about how someone needs to do the sitting around and thinking and theorizing, with the thought underlying this being: and it certainly wouldn’t be the people who carry things for a living.
Why don’t websites hire service people to write about food? How do ‘restaurant journalists’ exist, when servers who are also artists are standing right here? A book critic once told me, “a website could never be staffed by service people, the quality of the writing would be too low,” and I wanted to laugh. I suspect it’s easier to teach a waitress to be a writer than an intellectual to be a waiter.
Becca Schuh, Bad Waitress
#currently reading#not 100% sold on this piece---it is v lib-brained---but it scratched an itch in my hateful service worker heart lmao
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too sweet (astarion ancunin x reader)
"you know, you're bright as the morning, as soft as the rain. pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape. [...] you're too sweet for me."
summary: astarion realizes you're too sweet for him, and he probably shouldn't let this go further than necessary. but, oh, he's going to. isn't he? (based on this request and the song 'too sweet' by hozier <3)
pairing: astarion ancunin x gn!reader
warnings: spoilers for games regarding camp dialogue with astarion, discussion of astarion's past trauma, talks of self-loathing/disgust with sex, vague mentions & allusions to sex having been had, manipulation at it's finest! minors dni.
wc: 2k+
a/n: i just wanted to get inside this man's mind when he drops that fucking line the second time he tries to sleep with us/tav. why does his face fall like that? why?
divider by @firefly-graphics <3
As Astarion observes the rise and fall of your chest in the soft morning light, he can only think one thing: shit. He fucked up.
And he had spent most of the early hours trying to retrace his steps, trying to decipher exactly where his monumental mistake had begun, but it seemed useless.
It could have been somewhere between the first and third bottle of wine shared with you last night during festivities, where he’d sweet-talked you to the high Hells until you’d agreed to return to his bedroll in the dead of night. Where he’d made the joke that wasn’t all that funny – the joke that he loved you. Three pretty words tried out on his tongue, and they hadn’t been nearly as light-hearted as he’d wanted them to be. More of an experiment, a quick sip to see if he liked the taste. And he had fucked up, because he did like the taste. He liked the sweetness that stuck to every corner of his mouth as he delivered the sugar-coated lie to you, his entire face falling as a new weight appeared in his chest.
But perhaps it had been the first night he tasted you – well, your blood, that is. The night he’d awoken from a nightmare of Cazador and in his vulnerability, had chosen you as his victim of yet another experiment. A test to see if he was truly free. One drop of a thinking creature’s blood, that was all he needed. But you’d given more than he’d bargained for, and your cloy ichor had coated his taste buds so addictively, and he had just known that night was only the beginning. It was the first time, but certainly not the last.
He thinks he could drink in whatever you offered him, and only that, for the rest of his days while still finding some sickly, twisted version of reprieve regardless. Not a drop more than he needed, always vying for more.
He’d be okay with that type of hunger, that type of yearning, and that might have been his first real mistake.��
Or maybe, just possibly, it had been that very first meeting. Maybe he had doomed himself from the moment he’d pressed a blade to your neck, when he had dragged you to the ground with him and felt all that warmth, all that fear, radiating off of you. So frightful, and you still had offered your help to him when it was all said and done. Perhaps that was when he had well and truly screwed himself over. One simple introduction, void of his usual wine and flowers, and he’d locked himself in for pure trouble.
Not even the fun kind, at that. What a shame.
At the end of the day, or rather the beginning of the day as it is now, it doesn’t matter where his threads had started to unravel. All that matters is that they were – every carefully thought out line of his plans had all frayed, all detangled from the bigger picture, all because of you.
Heart of gold, blood of honey. You were far too sweet for him, and he knew it.
“Having fun, are you?”
“I am, it’s hard not to with you.”
You’d taken each of his tactics in stride, hadn’t you? Whereas his face had nearly crumbled beneath the weight of that beautiful lie, insides twisting uncomfortable as the humor had slipped through his fingers, your eyes had only glittered as you bit back a smirk. To so lightly tease him, to banter right back with him, instead of see the truth behind it all. He didn’t know if you were simply that naive or if you were another kindred soul – Perhaps you were finding just as much safety, just as much sanctuary, in whatever dance he’d dragged you into. An entanglement of lies, a blithe facade, a daring smile that whispers come now, play with me.
And play with him, you had.
You’d played with him, you’d drank with him, and you’d now slept with him. Twice.
“You’re up early,” your voice murmurs, silken tone cutting through all his racing thoughts.
He hadn’t even noticed you had stirred, rousing yourself out from underneath his stolen blankets to peer at him curiously as he perched on the edge of the bedroll. As far from you, and as far from your sweetness, as possible.
“Oh, you know what they say, my dear,” he chirps, rolling his shoulders as the act wraps him back up. The charismatic charmer. The illusive rogue, trained impeccably to coax you in and secure his safety, “No rest for the wicked.”
He’d awoken before you last time, too. Had watched the sun rise and enjoyed the warmth of it plastering across his skin long before you’d ever woken up. He half-hopes you’ll be less talkative this time; he half-hopes you’ll try to rope him into whatever discussion you can, if only for a few extra seconds of your attention.
You were too sweet. Too sugary on his tongue, too soothing in his chest. He shouldn’t entertain you – he shouldn’t let this go further than necessary.
You hum thoughtfully, the blanket slipping and exposing more of your chest. With the light flickering in from his tent’s entrance, he can easily spot those two scarring dots along your jugular where his fangs fit perfectly, “I don’t know if I’d describe you as wicked, lover.”
“No?” Roped into discussion, it is. “How would you describe me then?”
He’s not comfortable in this lighting. He feels feverish beneath your steady stare, the way your eyes take their time as you look over every inch of him. The languid observation has him convinced you’re seeing right through him – your glance can pierce right through all his armor and expose every flaw. You see him for the monster he is, you see him for the bitter soul he’s become, you see him as the unworthy spawn he believes himself to be.
He almost swears that you even see right through his nice, simple plan at hand, not so easily fooled as he had believed you to be.
“Charming, certainly,” you suddenly sigh, sitting up and keeping your body mostly covered still with that knitted blanket. He’d only snagged it because the shade of the wool nearly matched your eyes – not that he was paying attention to your eyes, of course, “But then again, you’d have to be to have bedded me twice now, wouldn’t you?”
“We can always make it thrice,” he banters back, ignoring the bile that builds at the insinuation. But if that’s what it takes – laying on his back over and over again – to guarantee your protection, he’ll do it. He’d do it a thousand times over to keep himself as far away from Cazador’s chokehold as possible, “Does that entice you, love?”
When he turns his body fully, beginning a carefully and calculated crawl up the bed roll, ready to slot his body back between your thighs and encourage you to have his way with him, you stop him. The heel of your foot delicately presses against his chest, your head tilted curiously before you shake it.
“Who’s the eager pup now, Astarion?”
He likes the way his name drips off your tongue. Almost as if he might be made of the same sugar and spice as you, the same pure honey flowing through your veins also inhabiting his. You say it like a song, articulate it like the sweetest fruit.
He shouldn’t like it. It shouldn’t be able to overpower his lingering disgust with himself so easily.
“It’s hard not to be eager when it comes to you,” he says the line with good practice, beckoning a purr to his tone that had always won over the victims he’d entrap in dark taverns back in the city, “I said the Gods had made you just to ruin me, and I meant it.”
He’d meant it more than he’d realized. It wasn’t just your body that had been sculpted to draw him in – it was everything. Your entire aura, your entire glacé demeanor. All that innocence and all that geniality enticed him more than he could ever admit. You were certainly going to ruin him, so wholly and so entirely. You’d already started to, really.
You don’t respond at first, and he swears he has you. You’re locked in on his distraction, caught up in his web, just as he needs you to be. One lithe hand lifts to your ankle, cool fingers wrapping around your warm skin as he begins to lower his lips, ready to pepper kisses up your leg. Prepared to offer you his mouth, his body, in return for the one thing he needs. Self-loathing be damned.
Old habits die hard, right along with pride, and he’s not quite ready to bury either at your grave yet.
But just as he presses the first chaste kiss to your skin, nearly taken back by how your sweetness still breaks through the salty surface, you’re pulling the limb away from him. Your knee draws back and a disarming smile has risen on your cheeks, eyes glittering at him just as they had the night before.
“I suppose I’ll have to come find you when everyone is asleep, then.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
What exactly had he been waiting for? You, of course. But had he been waiting for you to find him solely for what had transpired? To explore your portfolios of talents once more, as he had put it? Or had it been for something more… precarious?
Was he nothing more than a prey, waiting for you to be his demise?
Had he actually been waiting for this?
The challenging look in your eyes as they reflected back stars, the warmth of your skin so close to him he nearly melts into you. The upturn of the corners of your mouth, outlining the way you certainly know something that he doesn’t. A look you wear well, a look that shakes his foundations and rattles his bones.
“As tempting as you are, I’ll have to decline. Duty calls, as they say.”
Can you see right through him?
He should be more deflated when you start going through the motions; he should be pouting or overthinking it all as he watches you gather your clothes once more, covering up the few bite marks of his that litter your skin. Every moment you prepare to leave his tent should be one spent overthinking where he’d gone wrong – why didn’t you want him? Was his plan even going to work?
Were you truly too sweet for him? Would he have been better off trying to romance the likes of Gale for the safety just shy of his grasp now?
He doesn’t, though. For once, his mind is quiet as he watches you patter about. The bile retreats, the disgust fades. For the first time in a very long time, Astarion is leaving this interaction not feeling used.
Maybe it’s in the way you cheekily snatch one of his shirts as you both pretend he doesn’t notice it, or maybe it’s in the gentle caress of your fingers through his hair as you pass him to pick back up your discarded weapon. Maybe it’s in every shy glance you offer him, or maybe it’s in your ever present grin.
Watching you leave should worry him, but it only feels like a breath of fresh air. A wind that comes sweeping in with the promise of next time just as you pull back the flap to his tent.
And he hadn’t realized he’d been waiting patiently for you to turn back to him until you do just this, offering him one final glance that sets him aflame, “Oh, and before I forget – you can feed on me tonight, if you need to.”
Heart of gold, blood of honey. He couldn’t say no even if he wanted to.
“Then I’ll see your delicious self tonight,” he takes a pause, one big and unnecessary breath filling his chest alongside that warmth you bring to him. The fearless leader, the kindest soul. His most apt nickname for you yet falls off his lips in a content sigh, “My sweet.”
He shouldn’t entertain you – he shouldn’t let this go further than necessary.
But he’s going to. Gods, he is going to.
After all, the sweetest fruits always fall from the most forbidden branches, do they not?
#ghost's stories#astarion#astarion ancunin#astarion x reader#astarion x you#astarion x tav#astarion fanfic#bg3#god i fucking love this song#idk why i really like the heart of gold blood of honey line#when i wrote it it really scratched an itch in my brain? it's probably stupid#no taglist except for reblogging on my makeshift tagging blog because i still have been too lazy to add astarion to the options#womp womp
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GOD
the way Gerard sings "Alright, give up, get down" and "Alright, she wants it all" in The Jetset Life Is Gonna Kill You scratches my brain just right as well as "Pull the plug // But I'd like to learn your name // When holding on // Oh, I hope you do the same // Aww, sugar // Slip into the tragedy // You've spun this chamber dry"
AND THE "Aww, sugar" AT THE END
This whole song just scratches my brain so nicely
#the jetset life is gonna kill you#revenge#three cheers#three cheers for sweet revenge#song lyrics#mcr lyrics#it scratches an itch in my brain#mcr#my chem#my chemical romance#my chemical fucking romance#my chem romance#gerard way#ray toro#frank iero#mikey way
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survived | b.d.
bodhi durran x reader chapter five. series masterlist summary: everyone has their demons, you just chose to run from yours. straight to basgiath war college. and definitely not towards the grinning tall, dark, and handsome marked rider that seemed too kind to be in a hardened place like the rider's quadrant. when you catch his attention and bond a conundrum of a dragon, you finally feel like you can catch your breath. until your signet develops. word count: 2.4k notes: second person pov, reader uses she/her pronouns, has a dirty dancing nickname and a last name. this one’s kinda heavy! mentions of struggling with self worth and trauma, talks about death and an allusion to suicide. if you hear someone buzzing with excitement, it's just me, don't worry! this is the idea i had stuck in my head, for quite a few reasons, and i wanted so badly to get it out on page and now its in my hands ah. not even kidding when i say this concept was eating me alive form the inside out. this feels like the closing chapter, so tbh idk if im gonna write anything more. if i come up with something, or anyone has any requests, i’ll get my pen to page tho :)
You were a good student. A great one, even.
You were top of most classes, feeling like you needed to prove something, and if you weren’t top, one of your friends were, and you were right behind them. And it was true—you were an incredible rider. You could stand on Shocair’s back, and shift your weight and she would bank with the direction. You’d taken up archery, another thing you excelled at. Your aim could use some improvement, but you were getting better. A little more practice, and you could consider yourself a decent shot. And despite your signet not developing yet, you were perfecting your smaller magics. And at sparring—
At sparring, you were okay. Kind of.
You could hold your own, and you were quick. Fast feet and good reflexes, but it was as if you didn’t know how to use those skills.
You were not top of challenges, to say the least.
“Yield!” you gasp, face to the mat as a boy from Second Wing attempts to crush your windpipe. “I yield!”
He lets up, laughing at you, and you roll onto your back, catching your breath. You blink a few times, willing the spots from your vision, but it gets darker and—
No, there’s just someone standing over you.
“Hi, Bodhi,” you rasp up to him.
“Hi, Baby,” he says, extending a hand.
“Hi.” You’re panting a little, but at least your vision is focusing.
“That was…”
“Pathetic. I know.” You wipe the sweat from your forehead and a tear from your eye as your wrist gives protest. You probably smashed it with a bad punch.
“I was not going to say that,” he says, grin tugging at the corner of your mouth. That corner of his lips was one of your favorite things at Basgiath.
“It’s okay,” you say. “At least I’m aware of it.”
“I can help,” he says, a little too quick to be casual, but you don’t mind. It makes you smile.
Your brows raise. “Oh?”
“Yeah.” He drops your hand, and only then did you realize he was still holding it. “We can practice sparring.”
“You just… want to help me?” You furrow your brow. “Out of the kindness of your heart?”
“Uh—” He falters. “If you teach me how to ride like you do, I’ll teach you how to spar.”
You nod slowly. “Sure.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay,” you say, fighting a losing battle with your smile. His eyes were dancing. “When do we start?”
“Now.” He offers you a hand, and leads you over to an empty mat.
“You’re quick, and you’re smart, and when you win, it’s by outsmarting your opponent,” he says over his shoulder, coming to stand in the middle of the mat. He removes his daggers, tossing them on the floor beside the mat and leaving one strapped to his arm. He spins to face you. “Easy money.” He taps his arm where the remaining dagger sits. “Take it from me.”
You shake your head. “Okay.”
You lunge, going for his feet, and he jumps, landing and taking a knee that knocks your own until you’re kneeling, and he’s on top of you, pressing you to the floor. You feel his laugh rumble through his chest against your back, his breath on the side of your face.
“Did I say easy?” he teases.
“You dick—” You struggle, but it’s futile. He lays there for a beat longer, pinning you with his body weight, and you have a flash of an image in your mind, him on top of you, in between your hips—
“Focus.” It's Shocair. Your next exhale is a thanks.
He relents, standing up, offering you a hand, and you’re barely on your feet again before he twists it behind you.
“Take me down,” he said, his lips brushing the shell of your ear.
You—you falter. Fuck. This guy is distracting.
He wrenches your arm away, pushing you away from him, and you’re helpless as you step out and back into him. He pulls you close, and there’s no viciousness in it, no mirth—he’s near gentle as he wraps an arm around you, over your neck, and his other hand disables your free one. He kicks the back of your knee again and beings you both down until you’re kneeling.
“What do you do now, Baby?” It’s your name, but it’s so obviously not, and he’s grinning. This asshole is kicking your ass without even trying and he’s still. Fucking. Grinning.
Gods, you suck at this.
No, actually, fuck this.
You twist your neck so you’re nose to nose with him—kinda, you have to look up to see his face, and he’s already looking down at you. You suck in a breath, looking at his lips. His grip loosens.
Your twist, dragging your joined hands behind you until you’re facing him and you let your body weight fall back. He lands on top of you, right as you knee him in the balls.
He doubles over with a gasp, and you take the opportunity to head butt him. You hear the impact, and you shove him off of you. You jump up, snatching the dagger from his arm band.
“I did it!” you shout, victorious.
“That’s my girl,” Shocair sends down the bond with a beat of pride.
Bodhi rolls over, clutching his face, and you offer him a hand. He takes it, and it takes more strength than it should to get him standing. You rub your forehead where you had hit him, a little sore. This man is pure muscle, even in his face.
He takes his hand away, and it’s bloody. Your eyes widen, a gasp slipping from you.
“Oh my gods. I’m so sorry!” You rush to him, hands cradling the side of your face.
“Nah,” he says, grinning even now. “All’s fair in love and war.”
Your stomach clenches at the words. “Please tell me I didn’t break your nose.”
He shakes his head. “I think the bleeding’s stopping, so, no, not broken.” He tips his head back.
“No, wait,” you say, placing a hand on the back of his neck. “Forward, or else all the blood is gonna end up in your stomach.”
Bodhi flinches. “I don’t have anything to stop the bleeding.”
You glance around frantically, looking for something, anything, before landing on your own t-shirt. You grasp Bodhi’s dagger—now yours, by the laws of the codex—in your hand and rip a band of it, cropping it to your navel before handing the black fabric to him. He takes it and presses it to his nose.
“You did not have to do that,” he says, words muffled.
“I broke your nose. Yes, I did.” You gently pull his hand away, examining his face, cradling his jaw with one hand. Besides being beautiful and a bit red, and smeared with blood, you didn’t see any bruising.
His eyes trace your expression, landing on your lips, and he just… stares. And stares.
“I think you’re okay,” you say softly.
“I know I am.” He’s grinning again, invisible string tugging that corner up. Your hands are on his face, and this is your chance—you run your thumb along his lips as if you could smooth out his smile—but you don’t want to. The way it tilts to one side is quite possibly your favorite thing about him.
“You have a bruise forming.” His thumb comes up, brushing the skin of your temple—presumably from where you had nearly broken his nose.
“It’s your snout,” you whisper.
"Hey." His grin softens, and he leans down, pressing a kiss to the bruise.
“Shit,” he says, reaching up and wiping the cloth over it. “Sorry, blood.”
You can’t help but laugh, the sound bubbling out of you as your heart rate kicks up again. And he just stares at you again, like his gaze is stuck.
“I love your laugh,” he says, like a secret, like it’s a whispered admission.
“Your smile,” you responded, equally as quiet, and suddenly you’re little kids at a sleepover, sharing secrets by candlelight, “it’s my favorite thing about you.”
That just widened his grin, and you let your ambitions run free, running your thumb over his bottom lip, cleaning off the blood that had spilled as you beam back at him.
He’s looking at your lips, and he leans in.
Someone drops a weight across the gym, and it makes you jump, creating space between the two of you, and there’s some mix of longing and disappointment in his eyes as you stop back.
“I should go,” you say. “Sorry. About your nose.”
“Sorry about your head,” he says.
You’re walking away, grabbing your flight jacket when he calls, “Tomorrow? Can I see you tomorrow?”
“Let’s go flying tomorrow evening,” you say over your shoulder. “I have a thing or two to show you.”
“I’ll be an eager student!” he says, and you smile all the way back to your dorm.
You let a mender fix the blossoming bruise on your temple when your vanity wins out. The next morning, Shocair has some choice words for you, all of which you ignore, in favor of playing the almost kiss over and over again in your head.
(You don’t even bother to block you out, and it’s something like excitement, or contentment that fills your chest every time you think about how he was looking at you, and you realize it wasn’t your emotions at all.)
You’re sitting at the table in the library, next to Violet and Rhiannon as you comb over another textbook on signets. You and Violet had taken to sharing notes you find, seeing if you can figure out how to get your signets to develop. Rhi is practically doing Violet's physics homework for her.
Dain is here, for some reason, probably because he’s panting after Violet—and everyone can see it. You’re pretty sure this is some attempt to get back in her good graces. She’s having none of it. The four of you are sitting in silence.
You’re just on a rather interesting part about the reflection of a signet on the rider when you hear,
“I just don’t get it.”
You turn, a little unable to suppress the way your nose scrunches up at Dain’s voice. “What did you just say to me?”
Dain looks at you, confused. “What?”
“Did you not—”
“Hush.” That was Shocair.
“Thought I heard something,” you say, the panic down the bond making you heed the warning. “Sorry, never mind.”
The girls don’t even spare you a second glance, just go back to the work in front of them.
“New subtleties must be taken into account when we investigate causality in quantum mechanics and relativistic quantum field theory in particular. In those two theories, causality—” It’s Rhi’s voice, and you look up, wondering why she’s reading aloud, but—
Her lips aren’t moving.
“Despite these subtleties, causality remains an important and valid concept in—”
“Shocair,” you send down the bond.
“Take a deep breath,” she says into your mind.
You do as told.
“Stretch, like you’re tired.”
You again do as she tells you, throwing in a fake-stifled yawn as you do so.
“Get your things and come to the flight field. Now. Make up an excuse.”
“I’m getting tried,” you say, your pulse kicking up.
All three sets of eyes turn to you.
“I’m gonna head out.”
“Should I—”
“Do you want me to walk you back to your dorm?” Dain asks.
“No,” you say, a little too quick. “I’ll see you guys later.”
“That was weird.”
“I hope she’s okay.”
“Does she—”
You clamp your eyes shut, and you try your best not to run from the room.
“Shocair.”
“Get here. Now.”
“Tell me this isn’t what I think it is,” you send to her, panic rising in your throat.
“Run.”
You do so, taking off and making it to the flight field in mere minutes.
“Shocair!” you shout.
She’s in front of you, navy scales glittering in the morning light. She wordlessly extends a leg to you, and you climb on, willing tears not to fall.
She takes off, and you’re not even sure where you’re going. She just flies, and you don’t unseat. Don’t stand, don’t ride the wind as if you were the one with wings. Just grip her pommel for dear life until she lands on a cliff side, leg extended for you to dismount.
You step off, and there isn’t a soul around you. The cliffs almost remind you of home. There’s no ocean at their base, but the view is beautiful nonetheless.
Did she bring you here so you could end it yourself, before anyone else has the chance to? To give you the dignity of choosing your own death?
“Tell me this isn’t my signet,” you say, a whisper on the wind, and you hear shuffling behind you. When you turn, Shocair’s head is lowered, her eyes lidded as the first tear falls. She blinks slowly, and it’s like an apology as she touches the tip of her nose to the center of your chest.
“Tell me I’m not an inntinnsic,” you plead, as if you could ask the gods themselves to change it.
Shocair says nothing, just nuzzles against your chest.
“I survived,” you say. It comes out a sob. “I survived the rebellion. I survived my father, and fleeing to the other side of the province. I survived parapet, and the Gauntlet, and Threshing, and every challenge I’ve been faced with—all of it. I have survived, and my own mind is going to be what kills me?”
“I will protect you.”
“You can’t protect me from the law!” You’re crying in earnest now, and you’re pretty sure this sort of weakness is what would prompt another dragon to kill their rider, but Shocair is looking at you with her own mix of worry and rage—and something akin to an apology. “They’ll find out! And if they don’t, what am I supposed to do? Pretend like I never developed a signet, and it just never affects me?”
She blinks, and shifts until your palm lays flat against her nose, like she had at Threshing. When she’d chosen you.
“I chose you for your mind,” she says, repeating those words—the ones from that day.
You sink to your knees, tears streaming down your face. Shocair settles into the grass in front of you, and you bend until your temple is touching her nose. Sobs wrack your body, and you can’t breathe, but it doesn’t matter. The world had stopped spinning, anyway.
This was it. This was the end. There was no surviving this.
#i’ve had the ending scene absolutely stuck in my head for WEEKS#this feels like when you take a bobby pin out of your hair that had been poking your head all day or something#like the itch in my brain has been scratched#sorry it’s sad lol#should i write more? not sure there’s anything more to this#idk im open to suggestions#bodhi durran x you#bodhi durran x reader#bodhi durran#fourth wing#fourth wing x reader#iron flame#rebecca yarros#emmmaswrites
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