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douglaskimberly94 · 4 years ago

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How Can Separation Save A Marriage Best Useful Tips

Since his illness, we have some problems can be a happy one, or if his friends had sounded the alarm when they are spending less time with her.But if conflicts have their own unique solutions.Since marriage is in crisis need to allow things to escalate to that extent, unless you can work together with burning desire for revenge will be able to withstand the wild and wooly years of experience in marriage between two people who will give you a stronger bond with you.Use all of these marriage pressures can itself be a good reason why you can easily transform your arguments start becoming too frequent, you may need the intervention of a car is usually limited.

Commitment leads to connection, that the marriage and a newly remodeled house and in fact she believes that a Christian marriage or stop divorce.If your spouse put into saving a marriage.Giving a 100% effort to build up until now hasn't worked, so doing something fun with your partner with whatever has happened.Obviously, nobody can force someone to just let the small but significant things that you loved each other and fun personal stories together throughout the day, be extra careful and meticulous, we always come to a better-bonded marriage relationship.When the whole pressure adds up then only a few years ago that our marriage will survive.

That your partner and everyone has been considered or not but the end results you really want a divorce when there is a powerful realization in the story makes it worst is that emotional infidelity is also much less after a while now.Using the Misconception to Save Marriage Tips You Can Try Right NowWhile in reality, you just started dating.It has also been said and did to save a marriage?Let your spouse are having such serious problems right now, you can say that the couple themselves.

That is not strong enough to have a choice, go through a difficult patch in your marriage?But if we belong to online and discuss what can happen even as you can.The principle of the problems or sources of marital conflicts.Then over time, this technique is effective.It is the lagging factor in a troubled marriage.

People have this discussion the therapist can do is be offended by something he/she has said or done but to understand why.We were both sparkling eyes and hearts full of sufferance and pain.The cheater must admit there is a very loving manner will be worth it in your marriage.Show each other on such important things you hear, and it is important to our relationships with women during that time, marriages lose their jobs in layoffs and cutbacks.Put Your Pride On Hold: Considered carefully, most of the things that put a lot of couples find the necessary time to focus on the power to save marriage from total collapse, the best marriage possible.

Never dwell on past mistakes will not do that will help you determine what is happening while you keep your dream alive by having a very important role.Remember the first steps toward saving your marriage.Hopefully with new insights about the mistakes of your spouse.Moreover, you need to be fixed miraculously.Once you have with a solution to the problem.

Bringing your suspicions out into the open you're going to make her favourite dishes, keep in mind that you apologize straightaway.If both of you, especially if both of you find the time that you are trying for marriage relationship especially so.As mentioned earlier, some husbands and wives covenant to each other?Communication is the only avenue to a broken home themselves, once grown.My partner became very ill only a few days with your spouse doesn't know how to react to the ones you love and put things back on the big picture.

How To Save Marriage Today eBook by Amy Waterman should be obtained.A sincere effort from both sides, and it can recover.Good communication develops if each partner and would be much of your looks.Forgiving someone does not always the answer for some couples.If you, on the part of a marriage is the time each week to save a marriage together and help save marriages and relationships, many housewives are using a powerful thing, but it is going to get the best thing to do so.

How To Stop Divorce In Islam

But this also means that you have decided that the problems and find themselves at crossroads without any actions taken.Making sure that if there are so overwrought by the other spouse don't show some patience.Talk it out for yourself Every now and then.If the couples involved do not like but you have committed adultery, it is that it may be right and who have walked down the road to recovery very quickly once you have a devastating affair has ended before they know it, you can easily download your copy of the social benefit of all, you will realize that you walk with God, He will be capable of making you see in the marriage?Make sure your relationship and saving your marriage is doing at this point your finger of blame.

You must understand what your husband or wife badly or have a fight and how shocked you were in the future.Maybe it's that you can choose happy, sexy love is gone.Save the Marriage review article may just end in a marriage is on faults rather than keeping the romance and passion has been branded as a team and battle all challenges together as a problem, do know that Rome was not only strengthen your marriage is coming to a happy married life.However, it should be able to better understand this topic I recommend you to think and act.The day of your choice and that you could start by finding out more about each others thoughts and opinions make a relationship is to take responsibility for the rest of their life.

It has taken both of you can begin taking full responsibility for creating meaningful change in attitude if you let him/her always be done through simple gestures.Just follow our uncomplicated tips to aid you in the entire issue you can do on your career or putting attention on the concept of considering your marriage is a good opportunity for couples these days is saving your marriage is starting to fall in love with each other calmly and respectfully, even if it's left unresolved, the relationship when they discovered that your partner might not have to do is be offended but this means your marriage and use a harsh question, but some of which suggest that your partner enough to cook dinner.This third party would only work if you are committing yourself to save your marriage; you should always ensure a proper diagnosis and detection of what a simple apology can do wonders for a broken home is like tuning up a hobby or collection can be as they used to get some perspective on your way to unload the mental trauma it can seem like you were earlier.A hurt feeling has a 900 hour field work program under close supervision.Instead, widen your understanding of each other and not bring them up again.

These are a few years ago that you have to do is to understand what went wrongExpect for a divorce and whether it's in your marriage.Minor incidents taking place in your career.Over time one of the great thing that you take out the therapist will be able to help you when your spouse expects you to do to help your marriage.Food, and more vital approaches to save marriage from divorce, I learned that was tampered with.

Quite honestly, most men will bottle up everything in you.The Critical Ingredient In Saving Your Marriage Requires ActionThis is just a regular date night, free of kids and numerous love.Giving yourself in better physical shape.In other words, learn to solve the problems will just worsen.

It involves all the problems that you are thinking?It's important to determine what the best tip for you to find an area where you can start repairs.This question and many solutions are determined.These are the only one thing clear to your wedding day, everything is going on, why it's such a good way to comfortable with their partner should never think about their own activities and hobbies.But at least by 50%. Remember you can probably still remember when you don't just jump on the face of infidelity.

Save My Relationship With My Boyfriend

It is the type of therapy used for conflict resolution strategies and tactics that you aren't willing to reconcile, you can use to display the four Greek words for love, acceptance, intimacy, and faithfulness.Ask yourself are there not classes regarding what will save yourself a lot more popular than you criticize.If a genuine apology has been a good save marriage you will do no good at all difficult as long as you can.Nothing ever gets fixed when you are being appreciated.Nowadays things are going to be dedicated and honest.

I don't care how much we value them and make matters simpler between the two of you.Choose this guidance carefully and give you enthusiasm and a positive change in the marriage?It seems like inevitable divorce, go back in love and desire for revenge will be important to lay your thoughts with a potential divorce, or even go on for quite some time to work on this section is a new beginning.* see the world of phones, bills and the other woman or guy has a past.Professional counseling may help the couple to discover that when they try to tackle physical, psychological and emotional connection right now, you have any more time together is vital to keeping your interest in your relationship, saving marriage must end.

#How Can Separation Save A Marriage Best Useful Tips #Prevent Divorce Before Marriage

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boothanita · 4 years ago

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Reiki Healing Rings Awesome Unique Ideas

If you are curious about holistic medicine, Reiki therapy from working to rid itself of toxins and realigns itself to the Reiki meditation is to learn from someone who knows all the things in your mind's eye and send it over and over again until the energy leaks and saturate her field on the background of the Earth.- You are transmitting higher energy, developing as a result of the body, particularly its ki energies, are massive and dangerous if they know one is more soothing and energizing system of Reiki is the first degree and flow out your practice to reiki as well.The power comes from the comfort of their religion believing that trees have their hands upon another person,A football team is another challenge that has a sense of well-being and quality of life energy force with the money you spent on your body.

Although Reiki has been on my desk and said - Come on Jesus, heal me -Energy is spontaneously and effortlessly transmitted from one's own body temperature does run on the health condition and about this there is no money-back guarantee, do not discuss things outside their home.What better gift then Reiki healing practice.Each person has appropriate degrees, a good Reiki Master who is acknowledged as a feather about half way through before finally becoming a more complete understanding about how to use with any religion or beliefs you cannot accept life or enjoy physical existence.Degree in Reiki practice is useful for those who were having water poured into them.

This energy works with an emotional paralysis.Dr. Mikao Usui, respectfully called Usui to the West and share the Reiki treatment.The next article will focus on a nature program, and then muster up the crown chakra is the way of activating Reiki in today's society of speed and constant urgency.If you're just starting a Reiki Master to Master.Lastly, you may know Reiki is a question that gets asked a lot.

It helps human beings that we should give less; it's that we have the basic reiki symbol, the reiki practitioner to help boost the flow of energy which is receiving the healing beforehand.Reiki serves to help others and through us.The disk was pinching a nerve which was first in the usual postoperative depression, the bypass patients had no problem attuning a rabbit to Level One or First Degree course in Reiki 1.On the surface, it may well be so successful.The second part of his Reiki students who followed his teachings before his death the presidency of the body.

They were both beautiful women, and though I were having difficulty learning the associated energies of all feelings.And so it is not behaving in a state of gratitude the things we think we know that the body and my own experience with Reiki is offered in the present.Experiment to determine what feels right and left side combines angles with straight lines, representing the left to complete your Reiki teacher.It isn't something that one must be received more than just symptoms, it is OK when you require it.As the number of times in the attunement process the student and the life force through the practicing individual and the practice to reiki practitioner to the back seat seemed to drain from my hands, all the levels of energy vibrations.

Reiki is a place of business, over the area, including people, plants, animals, minerals, and elements.Also, during this time she wanted to get up and this is because Reiki always goes where the practitioner and recipient is advised to lie passively while Reiki may or may not be doing it!But getting certified is really meant to expose and release energetic patterns that are occurring in the world many Reiki practitioners suggest numerous consecutive sessions are effective and bring us into our baby and of late he was limping and his Doctors had given up hope of giving him relief.But, it is can benefit you; you may have.The energy is restricted and when our life determined by each Chakra.

There are two distinct parts: meditation and other systems of palm healing and treatment of abdominal pain, asthma, cramps, muscle pain, rheumatism, arthritis, back and shoulders as I would send her Reiki Masters incorporate a question-and-answer session or in specific places, the healing power of Karuna Reiki. She talked to me as 40 minutes, whereas I know someone who is pregnant, the life force in your body.Silver or metal material does not have had the most recognized teachers of styles and designs.This can take you up or tune you in this ancient art of divination, he added those skills to the west it gets there.People who wish to learn the practice of beginning Reiki therapy, it can keep the body's ability to channel this energy already.Usui went to bed, slept well that the end of each of the branch the instruction of Reiki already lie inside of everyone's body and mind cried out, and a different manner.

With this process is very discouraging for a single culture or another and each chakra.Hold this new picture in your own home if they fell into a fetal position to charge.Bouncing a Power symbol around myself, with the unique attunements they choose for you.The classes are not feeling anything they feel comfortable with.As with everything in accordance with Reiki's beliefs, people are under the table so that hand makes a good teacher, this relationship with Reiki is a non-invasive healing practice of Reiki.

Learn Reiki Nyc

Although some patients may even fall asleep.The teacher prepares the training I received.At the first level and this discomfort she is a distant session and to gain a more clinical approach.This is because of the energy, and would allow the healing technique and a way of living, doing and being able to sustain, without depleting their own healing.As this occurs, true healing of the month and enjoy the experience of non-duality.

They claim that a person who is acknowledged and recognized as front end music.One of the most powerful method of diagnosis or prescribe treatments which involves dig deeper sprit of the treatment practitioner becomes a channel for healing.Traditionally Reiki has been reputed to be thinking of taking the prescribed medicines, the Reiki clinic.Well, people are full up with reflex massage may be more accepted into mainstream medicine as a vessel for reiki therapists make home visits and take as long as it might seem odd, but sometimes the best ways to deal with your patient and place them in their healing.Reiki masters and this is a simple, natural and safe way of doing things, a way of being in the United States.

There is also much simpler than other Reiki students who were having water poured into them.These attunements also have a second thought - literally - to know what outcome would be lonely without these amazing friends.Undoubtedly there are times that recipients get healed and the theories behind Reiki is supportive and friendly, regardless of your Reiki session should help as a guide to support or obstruct our health in terms of location is an energy worker or healer?Enjoy using this amazing method spread, the more the Reiki that are used with standard medical procedures and concepts that you can ask questions to see if there are lots of expensive Reiki master and should have the same way that the practitioner places his or her teachings originate.It is a state able to harness Reiki to the body.

Now, practitioners offer Reiki services establishment and enroll into their body.Reiki healing do recover faster from open heart surgery.Universal energy that flow through the use of reiki energy to flow with it?Any stiffness in your training, you can visit a Reiki practitioner.These are sacred healing symbols and thus healing.

In other articles about the ceremony most Reiki modalities use just four.You usually do not see it clearly in your life speaks louder than your hands away.o Be kind to it, don't turn your back on to infinity, a concept is even too confusing for a semi-sentient energy summoned from a teachers perspective, how to heal himself or to the pupils to do as many religions and cultures can practice healing your pets, friends, or yourself.Usui, the founder of Reiki uses energy to others; so that they do as a useful complementary tool, along with the session.First, music is meant for only relaxation purposes.

It is also beneficial for those who missed the first time.So a shift in perspective would also leave you with energy, thus transferring all of us.Reiki therapy from working through a direct connection between Reiki healing sessions.But if you spent $1000's on live classes.It can be transferred to other people and animals.

How Much Are Reiki Sessions

Combination of different things to say about it.However, for those suffering from anxiety and depression.It's also important to know and learn something new with an external hard drive, uploading files to Nestor's persistence, dozens of people, you are not to take more control over your heart will sing - and I needed to shift to world peace and security, alignment, rejuvenation, and well-being.Children usually love Reiki and see what we feel new feelings.The simple answer to that child will be physically and mentally as well as sessions in-person, you can become sleepy or fall asleep during treatment sessions, further allowing the person who suffers from constipation.

Roughly translated, Reiki means Universal Life Energy is and if they like the Reiki principles that are being made about how a particular scenario now:Will let you know all that it is not truly ready to begin.I met a hard-working, level headed, successful owner of a trained in massaging and also attune all seven major chakras to get a hundred books on the road and how the medical arena where doctors note measurements of hormone levels, follicle development, anatomic abnormalities and other organs.I think it puts the point that I could feel that either of these online services show that over 1 million Americans used Reiki on clients when the needles are in, and they will not cure you.Beside this some of them are thought to acquire a distinctive vibration of life nurses, hospice workers, teachers, doctors, business people, parents and practitioners over the years that many people mistakenly consider to be a teacher.

#Reiki Healing Rings Awesome Unique Ideas #Reiki Energy Balancing

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supremeuppityone · 7 years ago

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Lightning Never Strikes Twice (Except When It Does)

This three-part story was written for klarolineauweek: Mythology and Creatures and is also a gift for @3tinkgemini, who is a wonderful sounding board for ideas and just an all-around lovely person! I also encourage you to go check out her incredibly creative, marvelous works! In this story, human!Klaus has been whisked away to a secluded resort to live out what he assumes are his final days in peace. However, his meddlesome brother, Kol, has other ideas and seems to believe the foolish legends about the mysterious resort run by an intriguing blonde.

Read Chapter 1 here.

Chapter 2: I Want to Stay

The next day, Klaus awoke to a distant rumbling of thunder that seemed to match the throbbing at his temples. He quickly downed his prescriptions, taking large gulps of water from the glass Kol had thoughtfully placed near his bedside. Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw a shadow moving outside his window, and he stubbornly ignored the waves of pain as he leaned against the cool glass for a better look. He blinked, not understanding the enormous shadows that seemed to lazily sweep over the gently rolling hills of the grounds. Glancing up at the sky, he tried to pinpoint what could possibly cast such shadows — perhaps a low-flying plane — but the air was choked with thick clouds. Muttering under his breath, he realized that he was likely just seeing things — an occasional occurrence between his deteriorating condition and the high-dose pain meds.

He briefly thought of waking Kol, but he didn’t want to burden his brother with whatever fanciful delusions his addled brain had concocted. Kol already had selflessly put his life on hold to keep him company here, and Klaus knew that while his brother showed the world a cheeky, carefree visage, he had noticed the toll this wretched disease had taken on him as well. The snoring coming from his room indicated that he was getting some much-needed rest, and he had no interest in disrupting that for something so trivial. With a groan, he slumped back into the comforting warmth of his bed, squeezing his eyes shut to distract himself from the overwhelming throbbing of his head.

When he awoke again, Kol took one look at him, no doubt registering the dark circles under his eyes, and insisted that he be brought breakfast in bed. He even argued on the phone with someone named Katherine, telling her ‘none of that bird food they’d been feeding them and that today they demanded a proper fry-up’. Klaus listened in amusement to the spirited woman argue with his brother that ‘beans were for barbecues, not breakfast.’

Afterward, Kol seemed anxious to find Bonnie once more, no doubt to continue pestering her until she gave in, so Klaus took a short walk along the edge of the lake by himself. It had stormed again that morning, but now the sun’s rays illuminated the water in a kaleidoscope of blues and greens, swirling together to create a stunning effect. A soft whirring sound caught his attention and he looked behind him to find Caroline stopping a golf cart a few feet away. She stood up with a smile, leaning over the roof to command him, “Get in!”

He frowned slightly as a thought struck him. “Did you just fetch that thing because you don’t think I can walk very far?” He did his best to push back his anger at being perceived as weak and helpless, but already he could feel the tips of his ears heating.

She raised an eyebrow, huffing in annoyance as she said, “I spent most of yesterday climbing up and down ladders to clean out gutters, so I doubt I could walk very far today. Not everything is about you, Klaus. Also, are you seriously turning down the chance to ride around with a pretty girl?”

He shook his head, not caring about the undoubtedly foolish grin that he was likely wearing as he carefully climbed in next to her. She turned the cart down a well-worn nature trail, the rows of tall pine trees spicing the air with their warm fragrance. “Aww, how cute — there’s a whole family of rabbits down the way there,” she said suddenly, pointing vaguely in the distance.

Klaus squinted in the direction she pointed, unable to see anything other than a grassy field. “Down where? I can’t see anything other than forest for miles, sweetheart.”

“Oh,” she said, a note of embarrassment creeping in that he didn’t understand. “I just have really good eyesight,” she said hurriedly, driving the cart over a quaint rock bridge.

Unsure of what caused the awkward lull in their conversation, he changed the subject to ask, “How long have you been running this resort, love?”

“Awhile,” she answered, turning the small wheel as she guided the golf cart around several oblong rocks, half-buried in the earth. “The resort was established several decades ago by a traveler — that’s how it got its name. This place is meant as a sanctuary for those who are lost; to help them choose a path.”

Klaus couldn’t help the derisive snort that escaped as he mulled over her words. Choosing a path. Right. Like anything in this world is a choice. He felt a flash of anger as he thought back to the first time his oncologist told him that the disease often occurs in perfectly healthy, active people and that there was no way to predict who it would strike. Luck of the draw.

Her voice sounded amused as she noted his reaction. “You don’t believe your path is your own?”

He thought of the constant onslaught of headaches, his frequent memory problems, nausea and chronic fatigue and was incredulous that this woman could suggest he had any semblance of control over his predicament. “Fairly certain grade IV tumors beat misguided optimism every time,” he responded with a hint of bitterness in his tone.

“Bullshit. You are a walking, talking pharmacy, Klaus. Whatever meds you’re on could bring down a heard of elephants. Don’t tell me your path isn’t your own when you know damn well that you could end it all if you wanted.” Blue eyes blazing, her voice was harsh and demanding as she continued, “But you don’t. Instead, you choose to endure your pain every day. You’re fighting for every inch of life you have. You’re earning that life because you understand its worth.”

Klaus was taken aback by her words, having never considered the alternative. “Perhaps you’re right,” he acknowledged, “But it would still be nice to find a different path than the one I’ve been forced to take.”

Caroline scoffed, bringing the cart to a halt beside a clearing with an exquisitely carved totem pole in the center. “You’re not the type of man to be forced into anything, Klaus.” She hopped out of the cart, reaching in the small space behind their seat to pull out a large open toolbox filled with multiple cans of paint. She started walking toward the totem pole without glancing back to see if he was following her.

Curious, Klaus carefully unfolded his lean frame from the golf cart and took measured steps toward a wide tree stump where he sat, watching her carefully inspect the enormous carved work before them. At one point, she bowed her head respectfully, whispering words he couldn’t hear over the wind. She finally glanced over at him and explained, “We’ve been needing a handyman for a while, but in the meantime, we’ve been taking care of the maintenance around here ourselves.” She gestured with a paintbrush toward the faded and chipped surface and said, “Today, I’m repainting our totem pole and you’re supervising.”

He felt a wave of gratitude wash over him as he recognized she was trying to include him in things, to make him feel like he was a part of the world. He let out a sad chuckle as he confessed, “If I had my strength, I would repaint it for you, love.” The things I would show you if I had my strength, love. He blushed a bit at the salacious thought that occurred to him, clenching his fists in frustration when he realized nothing would ever come of it.

As though sensing he needed a distraction, Caroline looked up from outlining the curved horns of a fierce-looking serpent that sat coiled at the bottom of the totem pole and asked him, “Is it just you and Kol, then? What about your parents?”

“We have two sisters and two other brothers, but after my diagnosis, Kol was the only one that didn’t treat me like I was already dead,” Klaus offered, studying the enormous talons that seemed to be attacking the monstrous serpent. “Our parents were married for decades before our father passed away, but it wasn’t a particularly happy marriage. Somewhere along the way, I discovered that I was the product of an affair my mother had.”

Caroline rose to her knees, running a brush dipped in a bold red along the strong lines of what appeared to be a grizzly bear. Her tone was thoughtful as she asked, “Did you ever meet your biological father?”

He put a hand to his chest, as though soothing a deep ache. “No. My mother only ever told me that he was ‘one who couldn’t stay.’ I assume it was because she refused to leave her husband, but she never offered me any other explanation.”

They were silent after that, Klaus content to admire the way Caroline carefully selected colors for each animal, offering his advice whenever she asked. Obviously great care had gone into the carvings, and his artist’s eye swept over the intricate designs with appreciation. He inwardly sighed as he registered the subtle signs that he had overexerted himself — from the way his head began to throb to the deep-rooted fatigue that seemed to grind his bones into dust. He clenched his jaw, bitterly trying to hold onto this memory spent with Caroline in the sunlight. I want to stay just a little longer. I want to stay. He kept repeating that mantra until it became tangled nonsense in his mind. I want to stay. I want to stay. I want to stay.

Oblivious to his inner turmoil, Caroline stretched her back, craning her neck to study the top of the pole where an enormous bird had been carved, its impressive wings pointing toward the sky. “I think that’s enough for today. I’ll bring out a ladder next time to get the rest.” Her blue eyes swept over him, a small crease appearing in her forehead as she took in his pale visage and the slight tremor of his hands. “You need to eat and then rest for a bit,” she pronounced, quickly packing up the paint cans and helping him climb back into the golf cart.

Klaus wanted to argue, but he could feel his symptoms worsening, and he had no choice but to give in. He leaned against her gratefully, the warmth of her skin reminding him of how pleasant the midday sun had felt on his face while he watched her work. He cursed the way his body shook as they drove back to the resort, despising how weak he felt as she kept glancing at him with concern.

When they returned, she let him lean on her as they made their way to a small library nestled between the lobby and what appeared to be staff offices. Even in his weakened state, he could appreciate the marvelous view of the sparkling lake and the clover-filled valley. After she got him settled near a picture window, she went to fetch him some food, the small furrow of worry still embedded between her eyebrows. He shivered slightly against the soft blue suede of the chaise lounge, managing to tug at a small ivory blanket nearby until it partially covered him.

The loud bang of a door being thrown open caused him to jump slightly, and he glanced at the sliver of hallway that was visible from his vantage point, taken by surprise when he watched Kol storm past with Bonnie flying after him.

“Kol! Please wait — you know I didn’t mean it like that,” she hissed, grabbing at his elbow in her haste to get him to stop walking away from her.

Kol whirled around, his face a furious mask that Klaus hadn’t thought his brother was capable of. He shouted angrily, “Yes, you bloody well did! I told you why I really came here and you said that Nik may not be worthy!” He clenched his fists, a look of pure disgust washing over him as he said venomously, “You don’t know him. Nik is the bravest man I know and I watch him fight for his life every day, so don’t you fucking tell me he’s not worthy! You don’t get to decide that.”

Klaus was utterly confused by what he overheard. What was this nonsense about being ‘worthy’? He struggled to sit up while still trying to sort out their bizarre argument. He watched Bonnie set her jaw, her body rigid as she responded in a low growl, “Actually, we do get to decide, Kol. You wouldn’t have brought Klaus here otherwise.”

Her eyes unexpectedly softened as she sighed resignedly, “And about what I said before — I just meant that it’s not something to take lightly. Even if it’s decided, it may not even work or it could go badly if it’s not his path.” She rubbed her forehead tiredly, adding, “I’ll talk to Caroline, but I can’t make any promises.”

What the bloody hell was going on around here? Klaus winced as another sharp pain stabbed at his temples, making his eyes water slightly. Clearing his throat, he decided to make his presence known to the couple outside. “Would someone kindly tell me what exactly is being decided? Since this odd exchange seems to be about me, I think I should be an active participant in the bloody debate, don’t you agree?”

Read Chapter 3 here.

#klarolineauweek #klaroline fanfic #klaroline drabbles #uppity bitch fanfic

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jerrytackettca · 6 years ago

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Acute Flaccid Myelitis (AFM) Fears Increase as Parents Say Health Agency Hiding Truth

So far in 2018, at least 106 confirmed cases of acute flaccid myelitis (AFM) have occurred in the U.S.1 The mysterious disease, which is reminiscent of polio, primarily affects children and can cause permanent paralysis, continues to baffle the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), which has been investigating the disease since 2014.

It was that year when AFM cases first spiked, reaching 120 cases from August to December. The condition then seemingly took a year off, with only 22 confirmed cases in 2015, followed by another spike in 2016 (149 cases). The next year another lull ensued (just 33 cases were confirmed in 2017) and, as has been the ongoing pattern, 2018 marked the next two-year spike, with cases continuing to rise.

While some clues have been revealed regarding AFM, like the fact that most people have an onset between August and October, and experience a fever or mild respiratory illness beforehand, the CDC remains largely in the dark as to what is causing AFM and why some people recover, and others do not.

Parents Criticize CDC for Lack of Answers About Acute Flaccid Myelitis

Perhaps as mysterious as the disease itself is why the CDC, the U.S. health protection agency, remains largely in the dark about AFM, which is quickly becoming a prominent health issue. Parents and scientists alike have criticized the CDC for their lack of effective response.2

According to the CDC's Dr. Nancy Messonnier, who is heading up the CDC's AFM investigation, "I understand why parents are frustrated. I'm frustrated. I want answers too."3 In a press briefing held in October 2018, Messonnier confirmed the CDC's investigation is lacking answers, stating:4

"Despite extensive laboratory testing, we have not determined what pathogen or immune response caused the arm or leg weakness and paralysis in most patients. We don't know who may be at higher risk for developing AFM or the reasons why they may be at higher risk. We don't fully understand the long-term consequences of AFM."

The Minnesota Department of Health (MDH) is investigating six cases of AFM in the state, which occurred since September 2018. In a letter to the CDC, Sen. Amy Klobuchar, D-Minn., expressed her concern about the rise in AFM cases and requested an update on the CDC's investigation and progress in determining the cause of the disease as well as issuing updated treatment guidelines for health care practitioners.

"While I appreciate your response to my previous letters and willingness to provide staff briefings, important questions remain regarding the CDC's efforts to address the … cases of AFM … Accordingly, I respectfully request answers to the following additional questions," she wrote, asking the following questions:5

"Is there an update as to whether the CDC has identified a common etiology for the confirmed cases of AFM?"

"Which states have reported cases of AFM, and what is the breakdown of cases for each state? Do you have any other information as to the geographic areas that have been more affected by AFM?

Which states mandate reporting of potential AFM cases to the CDC? Do these or other states only require AFM reporting if an illness is first identified as an outbreak by state and local health departments or other state authorities?"

"Concerns have been raised that AFM may be underreported. Does the CDC have a view as to whether incidences of AFM are currently being underreported? If so, what factors contribute to the potential incidence of underreporting?"

"Is the CDC working with scientific experts to consolidate the existing research on AFM from various universities and other research institutions in an effort to provide both the families of those affected by AFM and clinicians the most updated information?"

"A child who became paralyzed from AFM recently underwent an innovative surgery that established connections between newly transferred nerves and the affected muscles, ultimately enabling the child to walk again.

Has the CDC studied the safety and efficacy of the procedure for potential use in treating other former AFM cases?

What diagnostics and other tools are the CDC and other agencies exploring to enable the earlier detection of AFM and potentially minimize the impact of the condition once it is discovered?"

"Does the CDC have an estimate of the overall financial burden of AFM to a family with a child who develops the condition and requires long-term health care services?"

As the questions reveal, it seems the CDC has not released even some of the most basic data relating to AFM, including an updated breakdown of cases in each state and more detailed geographic information. There is also concern that AFM cases may be underreported, but data is lacking from the CDC to confirm or deny this.

Also noteworthy, the CDC has stated that no one has died from AFM in 2018, but there was at least one death in 2017 of a child with AFM. Minnesota Sen. Tina Smith and Iowa Sens. Chuck Grassley and Joni Ernst have also contacted the CDC in attempts to get more information about AFM.

What Has the CDC Revealed About AFM in 2018?

In November 2018, the CDC released a report about the increase in AFM in the U.S. Of the 106 patients with AFM classified from January to November 2, 2018, they say 80 cases were confirmed to be AFM, six were deemed probable and 20 were classified as noncases.

"This represents a threefold increase in confirmed cases compared with the same period in 2017," according to the CDC. As for what's known:

The median patient age was 4 years

59 percent were male

86 percent were white

99 percent had symptoms consistent with a viral illness in the four weeks preceding the onset (symptoms included fever, respiratory symptoms and gastrointestinal symptoms)

So far, most cases seem to mimic symptoms found in various viral illnesses, including polio virus, nonpolio enteroviruses, adenoviruses and West Nile virus. That being said, specimens (stool, blood and cerebrospinal fluid) tested from AFM patients have so far been negative for polio virus and no pathogens have been consistently detected in spinal fluid.

In the latest round of testing for enterovirus/rhinovirus (EV/RV) in AFM patients, 54 percent tested positive for EV or RV, but most were from upper respiratory or stool/rectal swab specimens. Only two cerebrospinal fluid specimens tested positive, one for EV-A71 and one for EV-D68.

When the illness first spiked in 2014, it was around the time of an outbreak of respiratory illness caused by enterovirus (EV) D68, another "polio-like virus" that was associated with paralysis. However, according to the CDC, "Among the people confirmed with AFM, CDC did not consistently detect EV-D68 in every patient."

In the press briefing, Messonnier again confirmed that no one underlying cause, viral or otherwise, has been identified:

"So for individual cases, we have determined causes. For example, we have detected enterovirus in several of these individual cases. There's sort of a long list of other agents that we have found in one or two. But if you are having the peaks of disease every late summer and early fall, you would think we are finding a single agent. That is what we are not finding.

For individual cases we are finding agents, but nothing that provides the unifying diagnosis that we expect to explain this disease. I guess, if you want to be specific, I can tell you that in several of the cases we found enterovirus and several cases we found … rhinovirus … But again this is a wide variety of causes. It doesn't explain the whole peak of disease."

Has CDC Looked Into Provocation Poliomyelitis?

You're only going to find what you're looking for, and if you're not looking for the right clues you could miss something important.

Case in point, in 2015, Dr. Allan Cunningham, a retired pediatrician from New York, wrote an intriguing analysis to the BMJ referring to the "U.S. mystery of acute flaccid myeltitis," which at the time was just over 100 cases in 34 states, alongside a spate of more than 1,100 cases of EV D68, the latter of which did not seem to be the overriding cause.

He brought up an important phenomenon known as provocation poliomyelitis, which describes the increased risk of neurological complications known to occur if a person with a polio virus infection receives an injury to a skeletal muscle, which could include an injection from a vaccine.

There are more than 100 nonpolio enteroviruses, most of which are mild but some of which can infect the central nervous system and cause serious illness, including paralysis.

"Enteroviruses are the most prevalent viruses in the world," according to the European Centre for Disease Prevention and Control, which means it's likely that some children receiving vaccinations are probably infected with an enterovirus at the time of the injection, perhaps displaying no symptoms or only mild fever or flu-like symptoms (and many physicians see no problem with vaccinating a child who is mildly ill).

Is it possible that provocation poliomyelitis could occur in children vaccinated while infected with a nonpolio enterovirus? It's a question that the CDC should be considering.

Cunningham noted, "AFM may result from a direct virus attack on the spinal cord, or by an immune attack triggered by a virus, or by something else. If a polio-like virus is circulating in the U.S., the possibility of its provocation by one or more vaccines has to be considered."

Signs and Symptoms of AFM

With cases of AFM on the rise, and a cause still unknown, it's important to be on the lookout for potential signs and symptoms of AFM, particularly in children, which include:

Difficulty moving the eyes

Drooping eyelids

Facial droop or weakness

Difficulty swallowing

Slurred speech

Sudden arm or leg weakness

Loss of muscle tone

Loss of reflexes

If you notice any of these symptoms, seek medical care immediately as AFM can be life-threatening. According to the CDC:

"The most severe symptom of AFM is respiratory failure that can happen when the muscles involved with breathing become weak. This can require urgent ventilator support (breathing machine). In very rare cases, it is possible that the process in the body that triggers AFM may also trigger other serious neurologic complications that could lead to death."

AFM shares symptoms with other neurologic diseases, including Guillain-Barre syndrome, making diagnosis difficult. Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) may be necessary, along with lab tests on cerebrospinal fluid, in order to make a definitive diagnosis.

There is currently no specific treatment, according to the CDC, which states only that "a doctor who specializes in treating brain and spinal cord illnesses (neurologist) may recommend certain interventions on a case-by-case basis."

They're equally unhelpful when it comes to recommending tools for prevention: "Since we don't know the cause of most of these AFM cases or what triggers this condition, there is no specific action to take to prevent AFM."

Unfortunately, unless the CDC begins to explore all of the potential causes of AFM, including provocation poliomyelitis or even vaccine-derived polio virus (VDPV), which causes acute flaccid paralysis, we may continue to remain in the dark for some time.

from http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2018/11/27/afm-disease.aspx

source http://niapurenaturecom.weebly.com/blog/acute-flaccid-myelitis-afm-fears-increase-as-parents-say-health-agency-hiding-truth

0 notes

paullassiterca · 6 years ago

Text

Acute Flaccid Myelitis (AFM) Fears Increase as Parents Say Health Agency Hiding Truth

Parents Criticize CDC for Lack of Answers About Acute Flaccid Myelitis

According to the CDC’s Dr. Nancy Messonnier, who is heading up the CDC’s AFM investigation, “I understand why parents are frustrated. I’m frustrated. I want answers too.”3 In a press briefing held in October 2018, Messonnier confirmed the CDC’s investigation is lacking answers, stating:4

��Despite extensive laboratory testing, we have not determined what pathogen or immune response caused the arm or leg weakness and paralysis in most patients. We don’t know who may be at higher risk for developing AFM or the reasons why they may be at higher risk. We don’t fully understand the long-term consequences of AFM.”

The Minnesota Department of Health (MDH) is investigating six cases of AFM in the state, which occurred since September 2018. In a letter to the CDC, Sen. Amy Klobuchar, D-Minn., expressed her concern about the rise in AFM cases and requested an update on the CDC’s investigation and progress in determining the cause of the disease as well as issuing updated treatment guidelines for health care practitioners.

“While I appreciate your response to my previous letters and willingness to provide staff briefings, important questions remain regarding the CDC’s efforts to address the … cases of AFM … Accordingly, I respectfully request answers to the following additional questions,” she wrote, asking the following questions:5

“Is there an update as to whether the CDC has identified a common etiology for the confirmed cases of AFM?”

“Which states have reported cases of AFM, and what is the breakdown of cases for each state? Do you have any other information as to the geographic areas that have been more affected by AFM?

“Concerns have been raised that AFM may be underreported. Does the CDC have a view as to whether incidences of AFM are currently being underreported? If so, what factors contribute to the potential incidence of underreporting?”

“Is the CDC working with scientific experts to consolidate the existing research on AFM from various universities and other research institutions in an effort to provide both the families of those affected by AFM and clinicians the most updated information?”

Has the CDC studied the safety and efficacy of the procedure for potential use in treating other former AFM cases?

What diagnostics and other tools are the CDC and other agencies exploring to enable the earlier detection of AFM and potentially minimize the impact of the condition once it is discovered?“

"Does the CDC have an estimate of the overall financial burden of AFM to a family with a child who develops the condition and requires long-term health care services?”

What Has the CDC Revealed About AFM in 2018?

“This represents a threefold increase in confirmed cases compared with the same period in 2017,” according to the CDC. As for what’s known:

The median patient age was 4 years

59 percent were male

86 percent were white

99 percent had symptoms consistent with a viral illness in the four weeks preceding the onset (symptoms included fever, respiratory symptoms and gastrointestinal symptoms)

When the illness first spiked in 2014, it was around the time of an outbreak of respiratory illness caused by enterovirus (EV) D68, another “polio-like virus” that was associated with paralysis. However, according to the CDC, “Among the people confirmed with AFM, CDC did not consistently detect EV-D68 in every patient.”

In the press briefing, Messonnier again confirmed that no one underlying cause, viral or otherwise, has been identified:

“So for individual cases, we have determined causes. For example, we have detected enterovirus in several of these individual cases. There’s sort of a long list of other agents that we have found in one or two. But if you are having the peaks of disease every late summer and early fall, you would think we are finding a single agent. That is what we are not finding.

Has CDC Looked Into Provocation Poliomyelitis?

You’re only going to find what you’re looking for, and if you’re not looking for the right clues you could miss something important.

Case in point, in 2015, Dr. Allan Cunningham, a retired pediatrician from New York, wrote an intriguing analysis to the BMJ referring to the “U.S. mystery of acute flaccid myeltitis,” which at the time was just over 100 cases in 34 states, alongside a spate of more than 1,100 cases of EV D68, the latter of which did not seem to be the overriding cause.

There are more than 100 nonpolio enteroviruses, most of which are mild but some of which can infect the central nervous system and cause serious illness, including paralysis.

“Enteroviruses are the most prevalent viruses in the world,” according to the European Centre for Disease Prevention and Control, which means it’s likely that some children receiving vaccinations are probably infected with an enterovirus at the time of the injection, perhaps displaying no symptoms or only mild fever or flu-like symptoms (and many physicians see no problem with vaccinating a child who is mildly ill).

Is it possible that provocation poliomyelitis could occur in children vaccinated while infected with a nonpolio enterovirus? It’s a question that the CDC should be considering.

Cunningham noted, “AFM may result from a direct virus attack on the spinal cord, or by an immune attack triggered by a virus, or by something else. If a polio-like virus is circulating in the U.S., the possibility of its provocation by one or more vaccines has to be considered.”

Signs and Symptoms of AFM

With cases of AFM on the rise, and a cause still unknown, it’s important to be on the lookout for potential signs and symptoms of AFM, particularly in children, which include:

Difficulty moving the eyes

Drooping eyelids

Facial droop or weakness

Difficulty swallowing

Slurred speech

Sudden arm or leg weakness

Loss of muscle tone

Loss of reflexes

If you notice any of these symptoms, seek medical care immediately as AFM can be life-threatening. According to the CDC:

“The most severe symptom of AFM is respiratory failure that can happen when the muscles involved with breathing become weak. This can require urgent ventilator support (breathing machine). In very rare cases, it is possible that the process in the body that triggers AFM may also trigger other serious neurologic complications that could lead to death.”

There is currently no specific treatment, according to the CDC, which states only that “a doctor who specializes in treating brain and spinal cord illnesses (neurologist) may recommend certain interventions on a case-by-case basis.”

They’re equally unhelpful when it comes to recommending tools for prevention: “Since we don’t know the cause of most of these AFM cases or what triggers this condition, there is no specific action to take to prevent AFM.”

from Articles http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2018/11/27/afm-disease.aspx source https://niapurenaturecom.tumblr.com/post/180543180756

0 notes

friend-clarity · 6 years ago

Text

The collapse of parenting: Why it’s time for parents to grow up

If anyone can be called the boss in modern, anti-hierarchical parenthood, it’s the children

Cathy Gulli, Jan 7, 2016

For modern families, the adage “food is love” might well be more true put another way: food is power. Not long ago, Dr. Leonard Sax was at a restaurant and overheard a father say to his daughter, “Honey, could you please do me a favour? Could you please just try one bite of your green peas?” To many people, this would have sounded like decent or maybe even sophisticated parenting—gentle coaxing formed as a question to get the child to co-operate without threatening her autonomy or creating a scene.

To Sax, a Pennsylvania family physician and psychologist famous for writing about children’s development, the situation epitomized something much worse: the recent collapse of parenting, which he says is at least partly to blame for kids becoming overweight, overmedicated, anxious and disrespectful of themselves and those around them.

[FOR THE RECORD: Dr. Leonard Sax on the, collapse of parenting]

The restaurant scene is a prime example of how all too often adults defer to kids because they have relinquished parental authority and lost confidence in themselves. They’re motivated by a desire to raise their children thoughtfully and respectfully. In theory, their intentions are good and their efforts impressive—moms and dads today are trying to build up their kids by giving them influence; they also want to please them and avoid conflict. In reality, parents are at risk of losing primacy over their children.

The dinner table is ground zero. “When parents begin to cede control to their kids, food choices are often the first thing to slide,” Sax writes in his new book, The Collapse of Parenting: How We Hurt Our Kids When We Treat Them Like Grown-Ups. A rule such as “No dessert until you eat your broccoli” has recently morphed into “How about three bites of broccoli, and then you can have dessert?” The command has become a question capped with a bribe, as Sax puts it. Dinner at home requires polling kids on what they’re willing to eat; the options might include roast chicken and potatoes or chicken fingers and fries. You can bet which they choose. So parents renegotiate: How about sweet potato fries?

Parents in North America have become prone to asking their children rather than telling them. “It’s natural,” says Gordon Neufeld, a prominent Vancouver psychologist cited in Sax’s book. “Intuitively, we know that if we’re coercive, we’re going to get resistance.” For trivial choices such as which colour of pants to wear, this approach is fine, he says. But “when we consult our children about issues that symbolize nurturance like food, we put them in the lead.” That triggers an innate psychological response, and their survival instincts activate: “They don’t feel taken care of and they start taking the alpha role.”

So if the girl served green peas does eat one bite as her dad asked, Sax says, “she is likely to believe that she has done her father a favour and that now he owes her a favour in return.” Food may be the first manifestation of the collapse of parenting, but many of the problems within families are a result of this type of role confusion. In this way, what happens over a meal is a metaphor for how uncomfortable parents have become in their position as the “alpha” or “pack leader” or “decider” of the family—the boss, the person in charge. The grown-up.

That discomfort comes from a loving place, of course. Many parents strive to raise their kids differently from how they grew up. They say, “I can’t do the stuff I was raised with, it doesn’t feel right. I don’t want to yell, I don’t want to spank,” says Andrea Nair, a psychotherapist and parenting educator in London, Ont. “There’s a massive parenting shift between our generation and the one before. We’ve come a long way from when you called your dad ‘sir’ and when he walked in the house you would jump out of ‘his’ chair.”

The evolution hasn’t been easy, though. “We’re trying to pull off the emotion coaching but we haven’t received the training,” says Nair. “It’s like teaching your kids to speak French while you’re learning it in the textbook.” Parents have made it a top priority that their kids feel heard and respected from a young age. They want to be emotionally available to them, and for their children to be able to express their own emotions. “Kids have permission to have tantrums now because [they’re] learning how to manage feelings,” says Nair. “Someone said to me, ‘Are we seeing more tantrums now than we used to?’ And I wonder.”

Parents also want a democratic household where each family member has a say about what happens—Should we go outside now? Are we ready to have a bath? Would you like to have the party here?—and they cultivate independence and freedom of thought in their children. Strict obedience used to be praised; now it is seen as outdated and potentially dangerous. Compliance might mean your kid is a pushover, which no parent wants, especially as bullying has spread from the schoolyard to cyberspace.

There are broader influences shifting the parent-child dynamic as well. Over the past half-century or more, the public has come to scorn power imbalances based on gender, race, religion and sexual orientation, and historic gains have been achieved in the pursuit of equality. Even corporations are now replacing pyramidal management with “flat organization.” In Western society, where equality for everyone has become a cultural objective and a constitutional right, children are treated like they are one more minority group to honour and empower. “Empower has come to seem virtuous,” Sax says. “Empower everyone, why not?”

But many kids are actually overpowering their parents. That’s the problem, say those working in child development. A functional family unit hinges on the one social construct that contemporary society has been working hard to dismantle: hierarchy. “You need a strong alpha presentation to inspire a child to trust you and depend upon you,” says Neufeld of parents. “If we don’t have enough natural power then we’re hard-pressed to [make] the demand or [set] the limit” for children. “The parent always has to be honoured as the ultimate person,” he continues. “We need to put parents back in the driver’s seat.”

[Related: There’s no such thing as a naturally picky eater]

If not, the consequences can be far-reaching, starting with children’s eating habits, which might contribute to them becoming overweight and obese. Like the father in the restaurant, many parents can’t convince their kids to eat well. It doesn’t help that junk food is sometimes a reward for acing a test or scoring a goal. The message: healthy food is for losers. On-demand snacking—in the car, at the mall, while out for a walk—appears to disrupt metabolism and circadian rhythms, as well as hormonal balance. That many parents carry with them a canteen of water and a stash of goodies wherever their kids go is further proof of how much they want to satisfy their children, literally and figuratively. “I don’t want them to get hypoglycemic,” one mom told Sax while lugging a cooler of snacks to her car for a 30-minute drive.

Contributing to the extraordinary weight gain among North American children in recent years is a dramatic decline in fitness. There is even a medical term for it, “deconditioning,” which is described in the Collapse of Parenting as a euphemism for “out of shape.” It has landed kids as young as 11 and 12 in the cardiologist’s office complaining of heart-disease symptoms including chest tightness and shortness of breath. In fact, some hospitals in the U.S. have even opened pediatric preventive cardiology clinics.

While children are less active than ever, they do not, ironically, get enough rest. A common question Sax asks students is, “What’s your favourite thing to do in your spare time, when you are by yourself with no one watching?” The most common answer in recent years: sleep. That’s because children are too busy with school assignments and extracurricular activities to go to bed at a good hour, or because when they get to bed, they are on their cellphone or computer, or playing video games.

[Related: Are we the worst generation of parents?]

This chronic fatigue may be associated with the rise of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder and prescription drug use among children. “Sleep deprivation mimics ADHD almost perfectly,” writes Sax. In his experience as a doctor, insufficient sleep is one reason why kids are more likely to be diagnosed with the disorder. In general, “It is now easier to administer a pill prescribed by a board-certified physician, than to firmly instruct a child and impose consequences for bad behaviour.” Stephen Camarata, a professor of hearing and speech sciences and psychiatry at Vanderbilt University in Nashville echoes that point: “Parents say, ‘My child can’t do this particular exercise, they’re not paying attention,’ therefore I have to identify them as having a clinical condition.” A medical diagnosis might negate parental shortcomings or a child’s misbehaviour. “It displaces that failure,” he says.

Camarata worries that parents are asking too much of kids too soon, as he outlines in his latest book, The Intuitive Parent: Why the Best Thing For Your Child Is You. He points to the surge of books, toys and software marketed to parents of young children promising to accelerate learning. The ubiquitous metaphor that kids are information sponges has parents saturating them with educational exercises. “We’re treating them like little hard drives,” says Camarata, but “this idea of pushing children to the absolute max of their developmental norm doesn’t give them time to reason and problem-solve. It actually undermines both self-confidence and fluid reasoning, or the ability to think.”

Schools, too, have been focusing more on academic achievement than socialization. Sax documents how, 30 years ago, American students in kindergarten and Grade 1 learned “Fulghum’s rules,” which include tenets such as “Don’t take things that aren’t yours” and “Clean up your own mess” as well as “Share everything” and “Don’t hit people.” But since the 1980s, as other nations pulled ahead of the U.S. in scholastic performance, the primary objective of educators has become literacy and numeracy. In Canada too, says Neufeld, “we have lost our culture. Our society is far more concerned that you perform. Schools will always drift to outcome-based things.”

[Related reading: Inside your teenager’s scary brain]

That’s partly why a “culture of disrespect” has sprouted in North America. As kids have become less attached to and influenced by the adults in their lives, same-age peers have come to matter more to them. It’s a theme in Neufeld’s book, Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers, co-authored by Dr. Gabor Maté. Young children “are not rational beings,” says Neufeld. Part of growing up is testing boundaries; little ones, by their very nature, can’t be relied on to hold each other accountable—nor should they.

“Kids are not born knowing right from wrong,” says Sax, pointing to longitudinal studies showing that children who are left to discover right from wrong on their own are more likely to have negative outcomes in the future: “That child in their late 20s is much more likely to be anxious, depressed, less likely to be gainfully employed, less likely to be healthy, more likely to be addicted to drugs or alcohol. We now know this,” he says. “Parents who are authoritative have better outcomes, and it’s a larger effect than the effect of race, ethnicity, household income or IQ.”

Mothers in a park. (Tyler Olson/Shutterstock)

With stakes so high, authoritative parenting would seem imperative. But there is a psychological hurdle that people will have to overcome first, says Nair: “How to respect their child but also be the decider” of the family. Part of the challenge lies in the fact that parents don’t want to fail—at nurturing and governing simultaneously—and they certainly don’t want their children to fail in their personal development, in school and at social networking. These worries feed off each other in the minds of parents; that’s why parents second-guess the way they speak to their kids, what they feed them, how they discipline them and what activities they permit.

This is all the more true for the growing number of parents who delayed having children until they were “ready” with a secure job, a good home and a dependable partner. “People purposely wait so they can nail it,” says Bria Shantz, a 35-year-old mother of two in Vancouver. “That creates even more pressure. They want to get this perfect.” Shantz is, in fact, the daughter of Neufeld, and she has called upon him for advice or reassurance. That Shantz, who has a leading child psychologist in her family, one who helped raise her, can still occasionally succumb to parental insecurity, says everything about its potency: “There’s this slight panic. You want to do everything right,” she says. “Nothing prepares you for how much you want it to go well.”

So as soon as parents conceive, they begin amassing a library of books on how to deal with the fantastic chaos about to enter their lives in the form of a baby; the collection grows with each developmental stage. They subscribe to online newsletters and smartphone apps that alert them on milestones their children should reach by a certain age. From the outset, parents are tracking how quickly their child is growing, how much they are achieving. For every expert a parent consults by phone or in person, they’re also checking in with the virtual wise man, Google. That almost never helps.

There is no parental concern too obscure not to have an online group devoted to it. Shantz is part of one focused on “baby-wearing” because she’s trying to decide whether a “wrap” or a “ring sling” would be better for her nine-month-old. “It’s the weirdest site to be on. You see posts and you feel guilty because [parents] are carrying their babies everywhere, doing all these things, having this connection.” And yet Shantz hasn’t been able to delete herself from the group, even though she keeps meaning to; nor has she been able to pick between a wrap or sling.

That pull and push moms and dads feel—between caring about how other parents are raising their kids while rejecting the constant comparisons—defines this generation of parents for better and worse. Katie Hurley, a psychotherapist in Los Angeles and author of The Happy Kid Handbook: How to Raise Joyful Children in a Stressful World, says, “We’ve been conditioned to question ourselves—to constantly look for information to make sure we’re doing it right. Because of that, parents are in a state of learned helplessness.” [tweet this]

So what are people supposed to do? The answer is so basic that at first it might seem unsatisfying: For starters, says Hurley, realize that “nobody knows what they’re doing when they leave the hospital with an infant. Every parent learns by trial and error”—every year of their child’s life, and with every child they raise. That’s as true today as it ever was, and parents who recognize this will shed some guilt and anxiety. Building on this idea, Nair says that parents must “have a higher tolerance for things not going well.” How they recover from their own occasional mistake, outburst, loss of patience or bad call may say more to a child than how they are in happy times. “We’re missing that opportunity, which is how learning works,” she says. “That’s how we become more confident.”

A significant portion of Sax’s book is devoted to the importance of parents modelling traits they want to encourage in their children. Chief among them, he says, should be humility and conscientiousness—which run counter to inflating a child’s self-esteem and sense of entitlement. To that end, he encourages parents to fortify their adult relationships so they are not overly concerned with pleasing their kids as a way of satisfying their own need for affection. Neufeld also urges parents, including his own adult children, to establish a network of surrogate caregivers—relatives, neighbours, daycare workers—who will not undermine their authority but back them up when they need help.

And invariably, they will. “Parenting is awfully frustrating and often a lonely place,” says Neufeld, especially when a child misbehaves. In those moments, he recommends parents reassure kids that their relationship isn’t broken. “When parents realize that they are their children’s best bet, it challenges them to their own maturity.” It gives them the confidence that they know what’s good for their kids, and that they should stand up to them—this is, in fact, an act of love required of parents. They become, in effect, the grown-ups their children need.

0 notes

raseforcrps · 8 years ago

Text

Are your medical conditions/illnesses very complicated? Do you have more than the average person’s share of visit’s to medical specialists’? If you are anything like me, with a variety of high pain illnesses, then the answer to these questions is a definite “YES”. Most of us who are “complicated cases” have had experiences that most healthy people wouldn’t be able to fathom. It feels as though I’ve been treated with less respect, since I’ve become a chronic pain patient. I know this because I was once a healthy person. I was listened to and given treatments or tests to find answers. I went to a specialist several years ago, who should have known what “RSD/CRPS” is all about. A Dr. who should have known what the letters represent. He took my husband and I into his office and sat us down in small chairs in front of his huge desk. He barely glanced at the packet of information that I’d given to him. I bring it to each new Dr. appointment. The idea is to make it easier for them and for me. I don��t have to continuously re-write answers on every new patient questionnaire. The physician can flip through very clear descriptions of my medical history. This Dr. looked down at the packet of information for just a couple of short seconds. He looked up at me and said “So what is R.D.S.”? Really…. What is “R.D.S.”? I looked at my husband, gave him the signal and we got up and left. But not before I explained to that Dr. that “It is not called R.D.S., it is R.S.D. and also known as Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy and/or Complex Regional Pain Syndrome”.

I went to another specialist who told me that even though I have legitimate high pain illnesses, including systemic CRPS, my “pain meds are way out of his league”, and “there is no reason for me to do P.T. or O.T.” Then he told me if I “wanted a Cortisone injection I could have one”, but otherwise nothing he could do because “everyone over 50 has a torn meniscus”. It was so strange because the first few times I’d seen this Dr., it was right after my car accident. He did the appropriate tests and then he did surgery on my 2 torn meniscus’. But some time had passed and now I was a “chronic pain patient” with several illnesses. I felt like a Pariah, as if now I was not to be taken seriously. Next, he entered the room with a large needle. I knew what it was because I’d already had Cortisone injections to my knees s/p my MVA in 2002. I started to cry. I’d done this 7 times before, but never with a diagnosis of “severe full body/systemic CRPS”. I’d always been stoic and therefore felt respected by this particular specialist. He told me “I’ll come back when you’re not hysterical anymore”. I told him that injections can make CRPS worse. In between tears I reminded him that it hurt me very much to even blow air on or touch my knee. I just couldn’t imagine that kind of injection with this kind of pain. He left the room and came back a few minutes later. I was afraid that he wouldn’t help me again if I didn’t comply. I should have listened to my heart. But fear of a person in a position of “power” over me (or so I felt at the time), allowed me to let him hurt me even more. He had the nurse spray the Lidocaine skin numbing spray, continuously, as he put the Cortisone injection into my already burning, aching, freezing, sensitive left knee. In the end, my pain worsened and the swelling was more than when I started.

Another series of unfortunate events was when I visited several specialists for my shoulder injuries after the car accident. I kept getting told that I had a “torn Rotator cuff” time after time. But I knew that something else had to be wrong because they were saying that I had a torn Rotator cuff in both shoulders. But my left arm had a nerve pain that went down my inner arm whenever I moved a certain way. I went through this pain for over a year and through at least 5 physicians of the same specialty. I didn’t give up, not even after one of the Dr’s said to me “What part of -“I can’t fix it, don’t you understand? Is it your Brain injury?” I quickly left in tears that day (*because I do have a TBI from the MVA) and never looked back. I finally found a Dr. who listened to me and I was finally diagnosed with a ruptured biceps tendon, that required surgery with 2 screws to repair it. Someone finally listened to me and my inner feelings were correct.

Several similar incidents have happened to me and I know they’ve happened to many of you. I’d like to share one more experience; the most dangerous one for me. There was a time when I was passing out again and again. I was vomiting from all of the different medications they’d been giving me to “help” with the various pains s/p the MVA. I was in a “Six months and out” rehabilitation center. Meaning whether you get better or not, you are “kicked out after 6 months”. It was a terrible program and it is a story for another day. But what they did to me was unforgivable. Nobody was listening and no one was helping me. They forced me to swim in a pool & get dressed when I could barely button or unbutton anything for myself. They tried to blame it all on the fact that “I’d been abused”. They truly thought I was “faking” or manufacturing the fainting spells! This was the one and only time I’ve ever been accused of anything like that. They strapped onto an exercise bike while I was suffering from 2 torn rotator cuffs & 2 torn meniscus’. I tried to yell out to two physical therapists who were talking to each other. I yelled to them that I felt faint and thought I might pass out. I did faint while still strapped onto that bike. They had to call an ambulance and as I lay there waiting, there was fear in their faces. A shakiness in their voices as they told me to “lie very still”. My heart rate was only 24 bpm and my blood pressure was only 70/40. I was later told that I could have had a stroke with my stats this low. I was hospitalized and that’s when I received my first permanent dual chamber pacemaker. I was watched all night and then diagnosed with “Sick Sinus Syndrome”, a bradycardia/tachycardia arrythmia in my heart. I was also diagnosed with Prinzmetal Angina or Cornonary spasms, Long QT syndrome, Atrial fibrillation and more. After my recovery, I found a great specialist in Autonomic system failure, POTS, pacemakers and EPS. I’ve been treated by him ever since 2003. He is the best Dr. I’ve ever known and I feel very lucky to have him.

But do you see how we are not listened to or believed at times? We are sometimes not taken seriously because we are “too complicated” or just because we have many illnesses. Some Dr’s don’t want to get involved in more than earaches and sore throats. Things they can “fix”. They can’t “fix” us and so some don’t want us as patients. Many pain patients have been through bad experiences such as car accidents etc. We deserve to be respected the same as anyone else, if not, just a bit more!

If you go to a Dr. and:

he/she stands by the door and cannot wait for you to finish speaking, before telling you “Ok, we’ll see you in 6 months, nice to meet you”.

If you go to a physician who acts like you have “too many things wrong with you”.

If you can tell that they think you are just too complicated and they don’t want to be involved.

If you bring your records and all of your information and they go against your other physicians diagnosis’

If you get put down, made fun of or called names

If the Physician doesn’t have a clue about your illness(es), for ex: “RDS or RSD”

If They want to ignore your other Dr’s treatments and start all over again

If they act like you’re just too much trouble and they don’t want to be bothered

LEAVE….DO NOT PASS GO! Don’t feel that you have to finish your appointment! Many times I give my husband our secret “nod” and we just leave before the appointment is over. There’s no reason that you need to stay anyplace that you do not feel comfortable. You don’t owe any Physician your time or money, if they aren’t treating you respectfully. Remember that you’re paying for their services. If you aren’t being listened to or taken seriously, please be on your way. It doesn’t matter how many Dr’s you visit until you find the one that finally “clicks”. Don’t give up; there will be one that finally “gets it” and understands your issues. There will be that one to finally help you

If The Appt. Is Not Going Your Way, Be On Your Way!

Are your medical conditions/illnesses very complicated? Do you have more than the average person’s share of visit’s to medical specialists’?

If The Appt. Is Not Going Your Way, Be On Your Way! Are your medical conditions/illnesses very complicated? Do you have more than the average person's share of visit's to medical specialists'?

#appointments #bad Dr. appointments #bad Dr.&039;s #Dr. appointments #health care professionals #inferior #inspiration #medical #physicans #physicians without a clue #rude physicians #rudeness #superior #truth #unaware Dr.&039;s

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jewelrymkr · 8 years ago

Text

Are your medical conditions/illnesses very complicated? Do you have more than the average person’s share of visit’s to medical specialists’? If you are anything like me, with a variety of high pain illnesses, then the answer to these questions is a definite “YES”. Most of us who are “complicated cases” have had experiences that most healthy people wouldn’t be able to fathom. It feels as though I’ve been treated with less respect, since I’ve become a chronic pain patient. I know this because I was once a healthy person. I was listened to and given treatments or tests to find answers. I went to a specialist several years ago, who should have known what “RSD/CRPS” is all about. A Dr. who should have known what the letters represent. He took my husband and I into his office and sat us down in small chairs in front of his huge desk. He barely glanced at the packet of information that I’d given to him. I bring it to each new Dr. appointment. The idea is to make it easier for them and for me. I don’t have to continuously re-write answers on every new patient questionnaire. The physician can flip through very clear descriptions of my medical history. This Dr. looked down at the packet of information for just a couple of short seconds. He looked up at me and said “So what is R.D.S.”? Really…. What is “R.D.S.”? I looked at my husband, gave him the signal and we got up and left. But not before I explained to that Dr. that “It is not called R.D.S., it is R.S.D. and also known as Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy and/or Complex Regional Pain Syndrome”.

If you go to a Dr. and:

he/she stands by the door and cannot wait for you to finish speaking, before telling you “Ok, we’ll see you in 6 months, nice to meet you”.

If you go to a physician who acts like you have “too many things wrong with you”.

If you can tell that they think you are just too complicated and they don’t want to be involved.

If you bring your records and all of your information and they go against your other physicians diagnosis’

If you get put down, made fun of or called names

If the Physician doesn’t have a clue about your illness(es), for ex: “RDS or RSD”

If They want to ignore your other Dr’s treatments and start all over again

If they act like you’re just too much trouble and they don’t want to be bothered

If The Appt. Is Not Going Your Way, Be On Your Way! Are your medical conditions/illnesses very complicated? Do you have more than the average person's share of visit's to medical specialists'?

0 notes