#and refrigerated the entire thing so it costs us an absurd amount of money to this day

[ethereal-forest-furry]

the springfield missouri government cheese caves <3

[fanmoose12]

catch me if you can

Сharacters: Hange Zoe, Levi, Erwin Smith, Kenny Ackerman

Genres: Mystery / Romance

Summary: The Ackerman duo. Just the mention of this name filled Hange with so many feelings. Mostly, when she reread the files of their cases over and over, until her eyes watered, she felt pricking annoyance. Sometimes, when she stared at the dead bodies of those scarce unfortunates who stumbled upon their crimes, she was filled with hatred and a pushing need for revenge. Hange couldn’t deny, however, there were times when she marveled at the impudence of their crimes. And, when she was investigating the Ackerman’s cases and saw just how meticulously planned they all were, she couldn’t help but feel something close to fascination.No one knew who they were. No one had seen their faces, no one knew their true names. Almost everyone knew of their crimes.Hange was determined to unravel every last one of their secrets. She will put an end to their crimes and then she will get the elusive Ackermans behind bars.

Chapter 11/?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Сhapter 9

Chapter 10

The gala was so much grander than anything Hange could have ever imagined.

The Reiss manor looked imposing and splendid enough from the outside, but the interior was something else entirely, straight up from a fairytale.

As they walked through the black heavy doors, a magnificent stairwell stood in front of them. The stairs were covered by a red carpet, the railings adorned by flower arrangements and all around them were tall candelabra that bathed the room in a gentle, yellow light.

If that’s how the hallway looked, Hange didn’t know what she should expect from the ballroom.

“We should be more careful,” Ackerman whispered in her ear, startling her. With all that beauty around, she forgot that he was walking by her side. She almost forgot why they came here in the first place. “There is a shit ton of security.”

“Huh?” mouth open wide, Hange turned her head from one side to another, looking around the room. How did she miss the security?

“Four-eyes,” Ackerman hissed, pulling on her hand. “Stop acting like a child in the circus. You’re the inheritor of the biggest hotel chain in the country, remember? Behave accordingly.”

“Right, right,” Hange mumbled, lifting her chin and relaxing her shoulders. While giving her a suit, Ymir also assigned her a role. She had to play it off accordingly. “Do I look arrogant enough now?”

Ackerman’s eyes ran through her entire form, following every inch of her burgundy suit. Hange almost blushed under his gaze. “You’re fine,” he breathed out finally. Dressed in a black three-piece suit and with his hair sleeked back to reveal his face and steely eyes, he looked more than just fine. But… Hange didn’t come here to ogle the man. She had a job, she just had to keep that in mind. “And there,” he leaned closer to her, discreetly pointing out at the men in black suits that stood in every corner of the room, still as stone. “That’s where security is. You would have noticed them have you not gaped like a fish.”

Hange ought to kick him for that. At the very least, she ought to throw some curse at him. But his proximity had her heart racing and his hot breath on her cheek had her skin flashing. It had her remembering the today’s morning, when she had woken up to find Ackerman sleeping on her couch. He looked so damn adorable, his mouth slightly open, his face relaxed and so damn attractive. Hange stood there for a long, long minute, staring at him, peacefully snoring, before she surrendered to her weakness and went back to the bedroom to bring a blanket and drape it over him.

She ran into the bathroom immediately after, in dare need of a long, relaxing shower. As she finished, she walked into the hallway and was met with a strong smell that had her mouth filling with saliva. Cautiously, she travelled to the source of it. That’s where she saw Ackerman, who was now wide awake and standing in her kitchen, cooking breakfast out of what little he could find in her refrigerator and humming some pop song under his breath. The sight was so fucking domestic that Hange had to stop herself from sneaking up on him to hug him from behind.

That urge was so sudden, so absurd, it came out of nowhere.

She blamed the weird, annoying impulse on the hangover that had her head pulsing for hours after she had woken up. It also made her feel nauseous but Hange wasn’t entirely sure if the heavy and uneasy sensation was caused by the alcohol, the events of last night, and, especially an accident with Erwin, or the damn butterflies that fluttered around in her stomach every time hers and Ackerman’s eyes met.

Focus, she scolded herself, moving away from Ackerman. Just a few inches were separating them now, but even that was enough to bring some clarity to her thoughts.

“Everyone here is so fucking rich,” she mumbled more to herself than her companion. “I bet that lady’s dress costs more than my annual income. How did Ymir manage to get tickets to this thing?”

“More scamming on her part, I presume,” Ackerman muttered, his lips sliding downwards in the expression of displease. Oh, right, Hange had almost forgotten about the tender bond Ymir and Ackerman had formed during last evening. “And she made me donate a fucking insane amount of money to some charity fund.”

“You donated… stolen money?”

“Of course, I donated stolen money,” he snapped. “I don’t have any kind of other money. In that regard, I’m not so different from these pigs around us. At least, I don’t try to appear nobler than I am.”

And yet Ackerman was noble, even though he was so adamant at hiding this part of him from the others. He could have left her behind last night, could have escaped to attempt to find his uncle on his own. But he hadn’t left. He hadn’t escaped. He had called Erwin and asked him to take care of her.

Hange still didn’t know what to make of it. Ackerman’s kindness confused and perplexed her. It made her wonder how much of his Levi’s persona was a lie.

Was it a lie, at all?

The sight of a grand ballroom in front of her snapped Hange out of her reverie.

The room was majestic – high golden ceiling, adorned with white, intricate ornaments, tall windows, marble statues that stood by the walls, a giant, glistening chandelier that showered every inch of the room with warm, gentle light. On the other side was a stage, where an orchestra was placed. A dozen musicians prevailed over the chatter of the guests, the violins, piano, cellos and trombones worked as one to enhance the atmosphere of the event with a slow, pleasant melody.

Remembering Ackerman’s advice, Hange paid a more thorough attention, not only admiring her surroundings, but also keeping a close eye on every guest, searching for Frieda Reiss’ youthful and pretty face.

“There she is,” Ackerman pointed his chin at the woman in blue dress that was standing next to a balcony.

“We can’t go there now,” Hange shook her head, taking note of the several men that were conversing with Frieda. A little distance away she also saw a couple of men in black that watched the perimeter. “It’d be best if we attract as little attention as possible. Let’s wait until she is alone.”

“While we’re waiting, we can—”

“No!” Hange grabbed his wrist, pulling Ackerman back to her. “We’re not going to snoop around the house until we talk with Frieda. This will be our last resort.”

If someone would catch them in the act… A shudder ran through her at the mere thought.

In her haste to stop Ackerman, she didn’t think twice about touching him. As she realized that her fingers were still wrapped around his slim wrist, Hange wanted to pull away. But just as she was meaning to let go, Ackerman took a hold of her palm, intertwining their fingers.

“If we continue staring at Frieda like that, we’ll be sticking out like a sore thumb. We have to mix with the crowd.” Hange felt her stomach drop. She was almost certain what his next words would be. And she didn’t like it. “We can go and mingle with the guests…”

And possibly risk exposing themselves and alerting every one of their true intentions in the process.

“Or…” Ackerman had his gaze focused on the center of the room, where a dozen or so couples were spinning around in tact with the music. “How about we take it to the dancefloor, detective?”

Logically, Hange knew that it was a good idea. If they go dancing, they wouldn’t attract much attention and they would be able to discreetly track Frieda’s movements. But from a personal standpoint… she couldn’t imagine a prospect that was more undesirable to her.

She swallowed, accepting her fate. The logical part of her won.

“Let’s do this,” she pulled Ackerman closer, approaching the dancefloor like she was marching to war.

Once they were there, surrounded by laughing, happy couples, she put her hand on the small of his back, her other clasping his palm. His suit was soft under her touch, his warmth radiating through the fabric. His hand was rough and calloused, but his grip was gentle, feather light.

“Be careful”, Erwin had said to her last night, his blue eyes boring into hers with intensity that was so rarely aimed at her, “you’re playing with fire.”

She scoffed at his dramatics last night, but now she could almost feel the flames, licking at her feet. They grew bigger, hotter as she looked into Ackerman’s eyes. They were the color of the stormy sky, dangerous and beautiful. Mesmerizing.

“The music choice is awful,” she complained with feigned discontent, a vain attempt to distract herself from the effect that bastard had on her. “This song is probably older than I am.”

“But it’s pleasant,” Ackerman remarked.

Hange couldn’t protest. The song was pleasant. The musicians were talented too, the trombone, cellos and piano mixed together wonderfully, creating a melancholic and magnificent melody. And dancing with Ackerman, being close enough to feel his body heat, to hear his breathing, to smell his woody cologne… it was pleasant as well.

Turning away from him, Hange forced her attention on the other side of the ballroom, where Frieda was now talking with an elderly couple. Frieda was smiling, brightly and genuinely. Her smile was almost identical to Historia’s. Perhaps, it would help them win Frieda’s favor today.

“It looks like we have to continue dancing,” she spun them around, providing Ackerman with the view of their target. With nothing else to do now, Hange continued talking, hiding her uneasiness behind mindless chatter. “You are a better dancer than I thought.”

“Once Kenny decided to steal a painting from the Opera House. I had to seduce one of the dancers to get the entrance key.”

In spite of herself, Hange chuckled. “Did you succeed?”

“Let’s just say that I was much more efficient at dancing than at seducing,” he said, his lips curling up. “And you? Where do detectives learn how to dance?”

“I was a member of the drama club, remember?”

Judging by Ackerman’s wide eyed look, he not only remembered about the drama club, but he was also surprised that Hange remembered talking about it.

Perhaps… she had disclosed more than she should have. Perhaps, it would have been wiser to play the drunken forgetful fool card. But before she could bath herself in mortification, Ackerman squeezed her hand a little tighter and whirled her around, compelling her to move forward.

“Frieda is alone,” he explained curtly. “We need to hurry.”

___

As it turned out, there was no need for hiding in the plain sight. Frieda was already aware of their presence.

“Hange Zoe,” as they approached, Frieda took a step forward, a sweet smile already on her lips. “My father has spoken highly about you. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Although, I do wonder,” her bright violet eyes glistened in the light, as she slowly looked both of them over. “What is a busy detective doing on my gala?”

“Investigating, of course,” Hange countered easily. “Would you mind answering a few questions?”

She didn’t have her trusty notebook with her, and its absence was felt keenly by her. Without it, Hange didn’t know where to put her hands. Distraughtly, she brought them behind her back, wringing them slightly. Her wrist was discreetly slapped not a second later.

Startled and confused, she threw a brief look at Ackerman. He was staring back at her, ‘don’t act so skittish’, his eyes seemed to tell her. Hange scoffed and kicked his foot. As if she didn’t know that already.

“You can ask your questions,” Frieda replied. “But I fail to see how my answers can help you find that missing girl of yours.”

“Ah, so you’re aware of my case? And Krista Lenz’s disappearance?”

“Perhaps, you’re also aware that Krista isn’t her real name,” Ackerman added.

There was a slight pause, a beat of silence that excited Hange. Did they manage to catch Frieda off guard so easily? But a moment has passed, and her composure returned. Her eyes narrowed, her gaze filling with suspicion, as she stared Ackerman down.

“My father failed to mention that you have a partner, detective Zoe. Didn’t you use to work alone?”

Ha! Hange thought. Frieda had to do a little better than that to keep her on her toes.

“This investigation is complicated, I need all the help I can get. And, Miss Reiss,” she held Frieda’s gaze, slowly curling her lips in a smile. “You haven’t answered our question. Do you know that Krista Lenz isn’t the girl’s actual name? Do you know that her real name is,” Hange paused, sharing with Ackerman a look full of anticipation. “Historia Reiss, which would make her…”

“Your sister,” Ackerman finished.

They’ve got her, Hange could feel it. They’ve laid all of their cards, now they just needed to give a final push and Frieda would crack. She could see those cracks already, appearing on her beautiful face.

Hold on, Historia, I’m coming for you

“If you know something about her disappearance, we’d be happy to—”

“No.” Frieda said, cutting Hange off.

“Huh?” Hange’s thoughts came to an abrupt stop after the sudden interruption. “No as if—”

“No as if I won’t help you. No as if I have no idea what you’re talking. No,” Frieda’s eyes flashed menacingly, as she stepped closer to Hange, “as if I don’t have time for this. No as if leave my house before I call security on you.”

“Wait a minute, I—”

“Hange,” Ackerman had his hand wrapped around her wrist, pulling her away from Frieda. “No means no. Let’s go before we get into trouble.”

Hange let him take her away. She wasn’t ecstatic about their plan B, but she knew now that they had no other choice. If Frieda didn’t want to share the information willingly… they would take the information from her.

“Thank you for your time and enjoy your evening.” She told Frieda, before they disappeared back into the crowd.

___

With her hand securely grasped in his, Ackerman led her forward, effortlessly moving through small groups of people. He kept his head straight and his expression seemed nearly relaxed, but Hange could see the subtle movements of his eyes. He slowly swiped his gaze from one side of the room to another, noting a hundred different things, no doubt.

“You’ve studied the blueprints, right?” he asked in a voice no louder than a breath.

Hange nodded, an image of the map materializing in front of her eyes. If they were in the center of the house, then—

“We need to get to the left wing, Frieda’s room is at the end of the hallway.”

If Ymir’s map was correct. If no one would see them enter another – probably, locked - part of the building. If they wouldn’t get—

“Relax,” Ackerman gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “It will be fine.”

“But what if we will—”

“We won’t.” He calmly promised. “I won’t allow it. I’ll keep us safe, trust me.”

“I trust you,” she said. She didn’t add ‘to keep us safe’. Ackerman seemed to take note of that.

“Did you tell your boss about our plan?”

Did she tell Erwin? Of course, she did not. After a stern talking off she had received last night, she thought it was for the best if she didn’t share the details of their wonderful plan that involved breaking inside Reiss’ manor.

“I forgot to mention it last night.”

“What did—” Hange knew what he wanted to ask. But, perhaps, Ackerman wasn’t ready to hear her answer yet. She could relate with him on that. Hange also hadn’t been ready for everything Erwin had said to her. But she had no other choice. “Never mind, let’s focus on the plan.”

It was hard to do as he said, when Ackerman’s thumb kept brushing her knuckles with enough gentleness to make her weak in knees. Hange wasn’t sure if he was even aware of what he was doing, but her heart noticed, and now it was performing cart-wheels in her ribcage. This whole horseshit with feeling was starting to get really fucking annoying.

Hange yanked her hand out of his grasp with a loud huff. Ignoring Ackerman’s bewildered gaze, she continued moving through the crowd, evading dancing couples and laughing guests. Ackerman was at her heels, following her just a breath away. Even so, with their distance so miniscule, she felt so much better and calmer now.

But not for long. As soon as they approached the entrance, leading to the hallway, Ackerman wrapped his arm around her waist, bringing her flush against him.

“Play along,” he whispered, before walking up to the two guards. “I’m sorry, but where is the bathroom? You see, my date here had a little too much champagne…”

He spoke so smoothly and confidently, going as much as adding a touch of caring to his voice. Hange wouldn’t let him best her at this, she was a member of the drama club for fuck's sake. She leaned heavily against Ackerman, hiding her face in the crook of his neck. Feeling him froze and his heartbeat pick up was the most delightful thing that happened to her the entire evening.

It was good to know that she wasn’t the only one who had her body rebel against her mind.

The guard guided them to a door on the other side of the stairs, and Ackerman thanked him and started dragging her towards it. Hange giggled, when she heard him let out a quiet curse.

“I’m glad you’re having fun,” he hissed, pulling another giggle out of her. Something witty and sarcastic was on the tip of her tongue, when Ackerman added, “I’ll be having my fun later.”

Huh? Before Hange could ask him to elaborate, Ackerman pushed her through the door inside the bathroom.

“Wait!” something very close to dread started to sink in her stomach. “Why are we here? Weren’t we supposed to get inside Frieda’s room?”

“Does Frieda’s room have a balcony?” Ackerman asked, ignoring her question completely.

“According to the blueprints, it does…”

“Can you find it from the outside?”

“I probably could, yes, but…”

“Excellent,” he promptly walked up to the window, opening it. “Then let’s go.”

Before Hange could protest, before she could curse him to hell and back, Ackerman lifted his leg, climbing out of the window. Hange watched him, eyes wide.

“What are you waiting for?” he urged, hanging from the windowsill. “Did you have another way to get inside her room?”

“I imagined it wouldn’t involve me jumping of the windows.”

“Don’t jump, climb out.”

Hange couldn’t fucking believe him. Don’t jump, he said as if it was a completely normal situation. Climb out, as if she knew how to do this shit.

She told Ackerman the very same thing.

“It’s easier that it looks,” he shrugged, still effortlessly hanging of the fucking window. Just how strong the bastard was? “C’mon, four-eyes, we don’t have all night. I can go alone if—”

“No.”

It was her fucking case, her investigation. And if she needed to climb out of the fucking window to finish it, then so be it.

“If I fall, I’m going to blame you,” she warned, as she threw over her leg. “Erwin will have your head for it.”

“You won’t fall,” he said. “I won’t let you.”

Hange looked him in the eyes to see if he was joking. She saw nothing but sincerity.

Fuck.

She threw her other leg over the windowsill, now hanging of it with her legs dangling in the air. She tentatively put them on a thin patch of cobblestone, testing her grounds.

Huh, it wasn’t as difficult as she had expected. The parapet underneath the window was wide for her to stand almost comfortably.

“Good thing Ymir got you a suit and not a dress,” Ackerman said. “Now where to?”

“Move to the left, to the end of the wall. And…”

“Yes?”

“Go slowly, alright? In case—”

“I got you, four-eyes. Don’t worry.”

Somehow, his words actually made her feel more at ease. And as she felt the wind on her face, Hange allowed herself a little grin. It was rather exciting.

Together, they started to move.

Hange never thought she’d be scaling a fucking wall, but here she was. As she tentatively travelled from one windowsill to another, she tried to breathe as quietly and calmly as it was possible. Her arms hurt from the exertion of supporting her weight, her legs were shaking and every time she caught the glimpse of the ground underneath, her excitement faded and her panic grew, closing up her throat and sending her insides flying. What made the whole ordeal just a little more unbearable were Ackerman and the way he easily performed his every move, calm and controlled. Hange would have snapped at him, if she wasn’t so afraid that opening her mouth would send her plummeting to her death.

“You won’t die if you fall down,” Ackerman said, possibly sensing her mental state. Or catching sight of her wide, terrified eyes and trembling hands. “You’ll just break your legs and arms and possibly injure your spine.”

Was it his attempt at giving comfort? He sucked at it.

“Just shut up,” she gritted through her teeth. Thank god this part of the building had no lights on. Hange didn’t even want to think what would have happened if someone saw them. Falling to her death didn’t seem that grave of a prospect compared to it.

Only a couple of windows stood between them and the balcony in Frieda’s room. Hange eternally thanked all the times Mike dragged her out the office and into a gym. Thanks to his insistence, her brain didn’t splatter across the pavement.

Hange released a sigh of pure relief, when she saw Ackerman reach the railing of the balcony and swing his legs over it.

The experience wasn't completely awful, Hange even enjoyed the surge of adrenaline and the wind gushing through her hair, but still... thank fuck, this nightmare was almost over.

But just as she had lifted her hand to touch the metal bar of the railing, her right foot slipped, missing the next cobblestone. She cried out, as her arms flared up, desperately trying to get a hold of something stable enough to support all of her weight. But the railing was still out of her reach, her other leg buckled under her, and Hange felt her heart stop, as she dangled from the wall, holding onto it with one trembling hand.

Her fingers were sliding down, slowly but surely. Hange closed her eyes, preparing for the fall.

But it never came.

Just as she started to descend, her arm was grasped, roughly yanking her upwards. Hange shot her head up, meeting the steel grey eyes. They were opened wide – worried, frightened.

“I’ve got you,” Levi husked, his voice thick with panic. “Hange, I’ve got you.”

He was craning over the railing, his upper body hanging of it. But despite the danger he was facing, he hold onto her tightly, grunting as he started to lift her up.

Hange did her best to assist him, grabbing the metal bar as soon as it was close enough. Even then, when she had it secured with a white-knuckled clasp, Ackerman didn’t let go of her hand.

With the last bit of effort, he got her out, flinging her over the railing and to the balcony marble floor.

Oxygen was able to enter her lungs only after Hange felt the ground beneath her body. Despite the precarious situation, her landing was not painful at all. It was rather soft, and Hange almost marveled at it out loud.

But then she finally made sense of her surroundings. She didn’t fall onto the ground. She fell on Ackerman.

This was starting to become a pattern.

Shocked and overwhelmed, Hange knew only one way to let out her emotions. She started laughing, hiding her face in the crook of his neck.

“Are you alright?” he laid a gentle hand on her shoulder, sounding as shaken as she was feeling.

Still laughing like crazy, Hange gave him a nod, rolling off him. “Sorry,” she mumbled, pushing her sweaty bangs from her face. “I didn’t mean to— well, you know.”

“You didn’t want to paint that lovely patch of ground with your blood? Good to know, four-eyes, I was starting to get worried.”

“Asshole,” despite herself, she snickered again. Jesus, she almost fucking died. But she didn’t, because of Ackerman. “Thank you, by the way. If it weren’t for you—”

“You’d be a mess, and you know how much I hate it,” he said, curling his lips up in a slight smile. It suited him, that smile. Hange almost reached towards him—

Perhaps, she had hit her head after all.

She turned away, getting to her knees. Her legs were still shaking, but she managed to get up. As soon as she was up, Ackerman appeared beside her. He took out the knife that was strapped to his calf and approached the balcony door. It was a tall glass door that consisted of two parts. Naturally, it was closed. Ackerman kneeled before it and with a move so swift Hange almost didn’t catch it, drove the knife in the slit between two parts of the door, moving it upwards until he heard a click. The door was opened in the next moment.

“Ready to find out what Lady Reiss is hiding?”

“As ready as ever,” Hange muttered, following Ackerman inside.

Frieda’s room looked exactly as Hange had expected the room of a rich heiress to look like. It was spacious, with high ceilings and tall windows that were partially covered by heavy green curtains. A large oak desk stood near the entrance to the balcony and next to it was an easel. The easel was enclosed by a white cloth.

Curious, Hange took it off, revealing an unfinished painting. Despite the drawing being nothing more than a rough sketch, that bright smile and big eyes were easily recognizable.

And Frieda had the gall to claim that she didn’t know Historia. Now they had a proof it was a lie. Well, she could continue lying all she wanted. Hange was going to uncover all of her secrets anyway.

“Go over her papers,” Ackerman said, taking a seat at Frieda’s desk. “I’ll see what she has in her computer.”

“What if it’s protected by a password?”

“That’s why I’ll be taking care of it. Unless… you know how to hack into computer?”

“You know how to hack into computer?” Hange asked incredulously.

“I’m a thief that police couldn’t catch for years, remember? A computer is nothing for me.”

Of course, of course, how could Hange forget that Ackerman was also a little cocky shit? However…

“I almost caught you,” she noted, matter-of-factly.

“You tricked us.”

“Traute tricked you. I merely asked her to do it.”

“That still counts as cheating.”

Cheating, Hange rolled her eyes. As if their game had any rules. As if it was a game at all.

“Where is Traute now, by the way?” Ackerman cautiously asked. “Is she…”

“She is alive, if that’s what you’re worried about. And in prison, serving her time. After she found out that your uncle is still free, she was more than happy for the opportunity to hide.”

“Oh, well, I’m glad she is well.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Had she not only failed to apprehend Ackermans but inadvertently caused the death of another person, Hange wouldn’t know what to do with herself after that giant of a fuck up. She wouldn’t know how to continue working after that. She wouldn’t know how to look in the mirror. She—

She shook her head, getting rid of these thoughts. Traute was alive and well, paying for her crimes in the safety of prison walls. She had a more pressing matter on her hands right now.

With moonlight serving as her lamp, Hange shifted through a pile of documents, official letters and sketches, all done by Frieda’s skillful hand. She carefully studied each piece of paper, hoping to find some kind of a clue.

She wasn’t that lucky.

And as she looked through page after meaningless page, her eyes started to wander. To the painting on the wall, to the beautifully decorated wardrobe, to the man sitting next to her – to his face, illuminated by a pale blue light of the computer screen, to his eyes that swiftly moved from side to side, to his mouth that was slightly opened in concentration.

Hange cursed under her breath, averting her gaze before Ackerman could catch her in the act.

“Also I’m not sure if you’re aware,” she began, feigningly detachment. “But leaving stupid notes on the scene of crimes isn’t the best course of action for a thief.”

“What?” he looked up, meeting her eyes.

“The notes,” Hange repeated. “The ones I found after every heist.”

“Ah, that. It was funny.”

“Funny?!”

What the fuck?

“It pissed you off. Watching you run around and curse was hilarious.”

Ackerman had sure enjoyed himself in those moments, if his fond tone of voice was anything to go by. Which made Hange so angry, but also made her wonder…

“Wait, you’ve seen me doing all of that? How?”

Ackerman turned his eyes back to the computer screen. His lips were pressed in a tight line before he mumbled, “Sometimes I stayed behind and watched.”

“You— what? Why? When? How I haven’t noticed?”

“No one notices the janitor.”

Hange stared at him in shock. Perhaps, Ackerman truly had a reason to feel gleeful. How could she not notice him? She should have noticed an attractive janitor, shouldn’t she? But then again, Hange always had a tunnel sort of vision, while she was at work.

“Anyway, that was very shitty of you,” she concluded, returning to the papers. “Mocking me like that…”

“I didn’t mock. I teased.”

“Isn’t that same thing?”

“Not quite.”

Hange scoffed and rolled her eyes. She never knew that banter could be so frustrating. Usually she was the one who infuriated other people. But Ackerman was just as good at the back and forth. A tough opponent, that’s for sure.

“Have you found something?” she asked him, as she put the stack of papers down. She looked at them for long enough to realize that she wouldn’t find anything that might be useful for them in any way. Perhaps, her partner had a better luck.

“There is nothing here but pretentious hipster photos and email exchanges with corporate fuckers.”

Or… he didn’t.

“So…” Hange had another back plan prepared. It was just as illegal as their current one, and even more reckless. But… she had gone that far, stopping now would only squander all of their previous efforts. “Are you good at pickpocketing?”

“What?” Ackerman turned to her, his face incredulous. “Are you saying—”

“There is nothing on her desk, nothing on her computer. We have only one possibility left. We need to look through her phone.”

Something had got to be there, Hange was sure of it. Frieda knew something, had to. How else explain the unfinished painting then? And the familiarity with the case Hange was working on?

“You want me to steal her phone. Huh, you’re growing up, four-eyes.”

Ackerman looked actually impressed. Hange subdued a wave of delight she felt because of it.

“We would need to get close to Frieda again,” he muttered, scratching his chin. “And for that we need to get back to the ballroom and—”

“No scaling the walls anymore.” Hange announced resolutely. It was exciting, yes, but she had her fill of this particular exercise already. She liked her neck and her undamaged bones.

“What do you propose then?”

What indeed…

“I’ll figure something out. Just trust me, alright?”

“I trust you.”

He didn’t hesitate, Ackerman didn’t even think before he spoke. Was he telling the truth then? Did he really trust her, and so readily?

She didn’t know what to think of it.

Perhaps, she shouldn't think about it then.

You had a case you have to focus on, Hange reminded to herself.

"Let's get going then."

They moved everything to the way it was before - put the papers back into the neat piles, closed the door and turned off the computer.

Then they left the room, stepping into a dark hallway. They walked through it carefully, quietly.

Everything was going so well.

Until it wasn't.

They've heard footsteps first. Then, came the voices. And they were growing closer, headed in their direction.

Fuck, they had to do something and fast.

Hange had to do something. But only one thing came to mind. One foolish, stupid thing. It was all Hange had in that fleeting moment.

You’re playing with fire, Erwin had said. Well, Hange was ready to get burned.

___

Shit. That was the first and his only reaction to the newly arisen problem.

Someone was coming their way. Levi could see the light of flashlight just behind the corner.

They had no time to run. They had nowhere to hide. They—

"Play along," Hange hissed, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. Before he could comprehend what the fuck was going on, Hange had him pressed against the wall, her face incredibly close to his.

"It means nothing, Ackerman," she whispered, before she put her lips on his.

His heart stopped, his brain short-circuited. Hange was kissing him. Her hands were fisted in the lapels of his jacket, her lips were moving against his, her tongue slipped inside his mouth.

It was phenomenal. Fantastic, splendid, better than Levi could possibly imagine.

And at the same time, it meant nothing. Hange had said so, and who was he to argue?

It meant nothing, absolutely nothing, so he pulled her closer, put his palm onto her cheek to caress it gently. He allowed himself to linger, kept their lips connected even when the guards arrived.

“Hands up! And turn around!”

"Ah, sorry, sorry!" to Levi’s immense disappointment, Hange took a step back, a bashful grin appearing on her face. "We got carried away a little, that's so embarrassing."

She had laughed, her hand travelling down his chest. To the outside looker, they probably appeared like a madly in love couple. Nothing could be further from the truth but— Levi cherished that fleeting moment nevertheless.

The two guards that had caught them shared a look, full of incomprehension.

"This area is off limits," one of them, the taller one said. "How did you even get in here?"

"My boyfriend wanted to explore a fantasy of his... You know, there is no obstacle that can stop true love."

The expression on the guards' faces, the perfect mix of shock, confusion and disgust, was priceless. Levi could barely keep himself from laughing.

"We can't just let them go," the shorter one mumbled to his partner. "Maybe, we should take them to Miss Reiss?"

"Agreed. Let her take care of these weirdos."

The men stood behind them, pushing them forward. Catching his eye, Hange flashed him a victorious smile. Ah, so everything was going according to her plan. Good to know.

Levi leaned closer to her. "If you ever tire of being a detective," he murmured, "Think of becoming a grifter."

"Is that a compliment? Or a job offer?"

"Could be both," he shrugged and was rewarded by a quiet chuckle.

The guards led them out of the dark empty hallway of the left wing, bringing them to the bright and golden colored stairway.

"Stay here," the shorter guard instructed. "I'll bring Miss Reiss to you."

A couple of minutes later, Frieda came out to them, wearing the same sugary smile. That kind of smile was perfect for her father's campaign posters. Perhaps, that's why she had it refined it to such degree.

Still looking like a fucking fairytale princess, Frieda lifted her hand and let the guards return to their positions. The smile slipped from her face the moment the three of them were left alone.

"I told you to leave," her eyes narrowed, unmasking the anger she felt. Right now, she didn't resemble a sweet, pretty girl that was her sister. Right now, she looked exactly like her father. "Why are you still here? And what were you doing in that hallway?"

"With all due respect," Hange slightly bowed. Levi coughed to hide his snicker. "But I don't exactly kiss and tell."

Frieda seethed, color rising to her cheeks.

"I apologize for my partner," Levi put his hand on her elbow, his fingers blindly searching for his goal. He found it, and fairly quickly. Oh, how he loved dresses with pockets. Phone securely grasped in his fingers, Levi pushed it into the sleeve of his jacket. "And I apologize for our behavior. We didn't mean to cause you any harm."

He moved his hand away from Frieda, putting it inside the pocket of his pants. Once the phone was there, he gave Hange a small nod.

"Yes, it was a mistake that I hope you would forget," Hange gave Frieda a smile - a wide, radiant one.

Frieda scoffed, obviously not impressed. "You entered the private property without my knowledge or consent, I should call police." Levi tensed. That scenario was very, very unwelcome. "But my father spoke very highly of you, detective Zoe. And your Captain, Erwin Smith, is a man of great virtue. It’s because I respect both of them, I'll let you go. Just, for the love of God, leave this time."

"Already on it!" Hange exclaimed, taking Levi by the sleeve of his jacket and dragging him to the exit.

"Fucking hell," she cursed when they were a good distance away. "I thought she'd call Erwin on me. Imagine if that had happened!"

Levi did, albeit briefly. He winced as a very clear image entered his mind. Yesterday's fiasco was scary enough, he could only guess how bad it would be if he actually got Hange into some kind of trouble. Erwin would have torn his head off before Levi could say "It was her plan".

“You got the phone, right?”

“Of course, I’ve got it,” he waited until they were out of the house and fished it out, showing Hange a sparkling yellow phone case.

“Well, open it!” she urged, hovering above him, her hands resting on his shoulders.

Levi activated the screen, and, unsurprisingly, the phone requested a password.

“Do you know how old is she?”

“Twenty-seven?” Hange sounded incredibly unsure. Levi lifted his head to watch her bit her lip in concentration. The same lip he touched with his own not so long ago.

A wrong fucking train of thought, he chastised himself immediately.

“Or twenty-eight? Something like that, I’m pretty sure.”

Levi nodded and entered Frieda’s approximate birth year. It worked on a second try.

Apparently, their girl was a very busy person. She received more than a few dozen phone calls every day. However, there was one number that popped out with more frequency than the others. And usually the calls occurred after office hours.

It could be nothing. Maybe, it was Frieda’s lover. Or best friend. Or someone equally important to her. So important that she hadn’t even bothered to add their name to the phonebook.

It could be nothing. But Levi had a feeling.

Sharing a brief look with Hange, he dialed that number.

The call was answered just a second later.

“Hey, lady, weren’t you the one who told me not to call you? Or is your event for rich fuckers that boring that you decided to ditch them all and bother me?”

Levi froze in one spot, his mouth hanging open.

That voice, he could recognize in anywhere.

That voice, it belonged to Kenny.