#and realistically they wouldn’t celebrate Christmas but eh

[shentheauthor]

Horrible question, but how do you think a Christmas party/secret Santas go for the sol council (worse combo is Yi and goumang being each others secret santa)

They would all get each other the worst gifts possible. Everything is passive aggressive. If they get someone they actually like, the gift would be thoughtful (by their standards), but the giftee would hate it still.

Like if Jiequan got Yi, he’d probably get Yi like, a free transmutation session or something. And Yi would be disgusted.

The only ones who get people anything good are the Fengs (they’re rich as fuck and can get you expensive things) and Lady Ethereal (she’s actually nice).

I think Eigong would uh… try… but she doesn’t know most of her coworkers well enough to give anything personal.

[purplesurveys]

1644

survey by robotease

1. Do you like zombie movies? Eh, not really. I’ve watched only a handful like Zombieland and Night of the Living Dead but otherwise the genre isn’t something I look for.

2. What’s the grossest/worst thing you’ve ever seen in a public restroom? I am easily grossed out by seeing crumpled up tissue in the cubicle trash bins. No matter how innocent they look, I always find it gross; and of course it’s always much much worse when people don’t wrap their stuff properly and I end up seeing bits of the poor thing they tried to wrap.

3. What’s the most wasteful thing you regularly do? I love In the Seom, but I will admit that I spend way too much time playing it in an attempt to top the leaderboards every time.

4. What’s the most difficult apology you’ve ever had to give? Anything I’ve ever had to give my parents because I hate disappointing them. Also any work-related apology because I hate fucking up when literal business is on the line.

5. What’s the worst relationship advice you’ve ever seen? I don’t come across them too often, but I remember the time when my ex’s friend caught wind of an argument we were having at the time and instead of offering something sound, straight up offered that we just break up altogether. Has she not heard of the concepts of ‘trying to work it out’ or ‘giving each other space’ or ‘communicating’? LOL

6. Have you ever volunteered in a hospital? If not, would you ever want to? No and probably not. I wouldn’t have the first clue what to do and will most likely end up being very clumsy...and also very queasy. 7. What was your worst Halloween costume? Some generic pirate costume I picked up from the department store. This was like a decade ago and I didn’t feel like celebrating Halloween at the time lol.

8. Who has/had the worst reputation in your graduating class? I’m not naming names.

9. When was the first time you can remember feeling mature? The first few days into my Big Breakup coincided with me getting hired for my first job, so besides being single for the first time in years I was also slapped with the very realistic feeling of adulting as I had to get 783729334 government documents at once. I still vividly remember the moment I was driving to the next government agency and realizing that This Is It, This Is The Real World.

10. Have you ever had a disappointing Christmas, or any disappointing holiday if you don’t celebrate Christmas? I’ve never had a disappointing Christmas in a sense that it felt like a letdown, but there was maybe one or two Christmases in like the early 2010s when my family wasn’t doing so well financially and I could tell my mom tried her hardest to get at least something for each of us, even though each gift wasn’t much. More than anything I think I just felt a little bad for her, but also grateful and proud that she did everything she could to make sure we still got to celebrate Christmas.

11. Do you have any character bandaids in your house right now, or just plain ones? Nah we just have the plain ones.

12. Have you ever had to give a pet away? No.

13. What’s the junkiest junk food you’ve ever eaten? Fried isaw is the epitome of so unhealthy I would dive into it headfirst.

14. Did you play pretend a lot as a child? Were there any recurring plots or themes? No, was never into the concept of roleplay.

15. How do you feel about runny egg yolks? It’s how I have my eggs. I won’t necessarily always turn away cooked yolk, but like I’ll be less enthusiastic about it lol.

16. Has a teacher ever tried to teach you something that was undeniably wrong? I went to Catholic school so you can just guess the things that we were taught there.

17. If for some reason you had to give up one of your hobbies, which would you choose? Taking surveys? HAHAHAHA objectively it’s the easiest to live without.

18. Have you ever hidden a relationship from your family? Yes. My first and only relationship was completely hidden.

19. How much do you know about first aid? Not much. I wouldn’t be the best person to handle an emergency, although I know that shouldn’t be the case. But idk...I panic too easily and too much.

20. Which of your relatives do you know the least about? My dad’s entire extended side.

21. Have you ever meditated? If so, did it do anything for you? No, it’s not for me. I tried yoga for a quick minute and the only thing I got out of it was more impatience. Great on you if it works, though!

22. Have you ever given advice to someone who was much older than you? Yes. I was my mom’s main adviser when she was mulling over whether to accept her most recent job offer or not.

23. Have you ever used a view-master? Yes! I loved those.

24. Do you ever listen to talk radio or podcasts? If you do, what are some of your favorite shows? I have tried sooooooo many times to love podcasts, but I get so bored of them. My attention span also isn’t the best – if I redirect my thoughts to something else for just a split second, I completely lose track of the recording and what they’re talking about. It’s why I envy people who can listen to podcasts while, like, cleaning the house.

25. When was the last time you got ice cream from a truck? We don’t have ice cream trucks here to begin with, so never. We do have ice cream tricycles hahaha and I haven’t bought from one since the Great Pandemic Era.

26. Are any of your favorite bands broken up or on hiatus right now? I believe Against Me! is on hiatus at the moment, yeah.

27. Do you know any sex workers? If so, how do they feel about their job? I don’t.

28. What’s the biggest art project you’ve ever attempted? How did it go? Just, like, really intricate embroidery templates. Never finished any of them.

29. What kind of wild animals do you see most frequently where you live? Frogs.

30. Have you ever cooked anything other than s’mores over a fire? I don’t think so.

31. Are there any items in your house that you use for something other than its intended purpose? We once used one of our plates as dining table decor, but it’s since been phased out. OH I KNOW – my physical copies of Indigo stand in an unconventional spot in my room, almost like an art gallery piece. It’s separate from the rest of my BTS/solo albums which are all lined up neatly at my merch section.

32. What do you hope the afterlife is like? I don’t believe in an afterlife but if it happens to be real, the only acceptable outcome is being reunited with my pets somehow.

33. What’s the worst behavior you’ve ever seen from a child? Any kid who is vocally upset about a gift while the gift-giver is within earshot is automatically a demon for me. Also any kid who does the opposite of what you say in an attempt to be cheeky or cute...really not the way get my fancy. Also any kid who doesn’t like to share and will FLIP THEIR SHIT when you politely ask them to lend their toy. Man...why don’t I like kids? Lol.

34. Have you ever planned an act of revenge? Nah. Stuff like this can always bite me back in the ass, so it’s just not worth the effort.

35. Do you and your parents share any of the same hobbies? My dad and I have a deep appreciation for food, so we like to try new cuisines and restaurants. My mom and I love watching true crime documentaries.

36. Do you think it’s more exciting or scary to get older? It can be both but I think it’s slightly more scary. Especially when you realize no one actually knows what the fuck they’re doing and we’re all just trying to navigate and not fuck up on our way.

37. How was the reception of the last wedding you attended? I haven’t been to a wedding since 2007 but as I grew older I realized just how fancy shmancy the last wedding I went to’s reception was as it was held at the Coconut Palace. 

38. Do you have any physical photo albums? Yes, my mom made one for each of us all containing baby photos and they remain downstairs, in the living room.

39. Would you feel comfortable working at a sex shop? No.

40. Who was the worst friend you ever had? Athenna was such a volatile person. I never knew if she liked me or if I was one wrong move away from getting cursed at.

41. What’s the biggest sacrifice you’ve ever made? I made countless sacrifices in my previous relationship. 

42. Have you ever campaigned for a political candidate, or otherwise played an active role in an election? Yes.

43. What’s the coolest hand-me-down you’ve ever gotten? What about the best one you’ve ever given? A denim jacket that my dad gave my mom while they were still dating. It holds up fantastically to this day and it’s still my favorite jacket to wear.

44. Do your parents and grandparents get along with each other? Yes. Their relationships as in-laws are also very healthy.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #438

“i won’t let you die, keep you alive just to remind you of what you are not”

What is your favorite card game? Probably Magic: The Gathering, even though I'm not great at it. I just ADORE the artwork, mainly. Is YouTube one of your favorite websites? Yeah, given I'm constantly on it. Does your mother have a sister? If so, what’s her name? Yeah, named Kelly. What are you doing tomorrow? I'll be going with Mom to the pool at the gym. She goes Tuesdays and Thursday, so I'm going to start joining her to help ease soreness from my exercise days. Would you ever want to go to Africa? It's high on my bucket list! I am DESPERATE to visit the KMP and photograph and pet and pamper the meerkats. :') Last time you went bowling? Not since I was on a date with Girt. Would you ever want to own a bakery? Noooo, I don't enjoy cooking of any sort. I'm way too impatient. Do you like to text? It's funny, I don't enjoy it as much as I used to. I make typos too much and autocorrect only wants to work at the WRONG time, it seems. I'd still rather text than actually talk on the phone, though. You want your next pet to be what? To be realistic, it'll probably be a western hognose snake. I REALLY want a tarantula, but Mom absolutely will not allow it for as long as I live with her, lol. Trust me, I've pestered her about it. Would you rather be a vampire or a mermaid? Eh, probably a vampire. Do you prefer white or black electronics? Black. Do you like Nerds candy? Yeah. Is your favorite animal something you can have as a pet? I could write a college-length essay on why you absolutely shouldn't, but it's sadly legal in some countries. Thankfully, not America. What was the last classic novel you read? Did you enjoy it? Oh yikes, I have no idea. Name three movies which have a soundtrack you really love: Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron, Tarzan, and The Blair Witch Project: Book of Shadows. What’s the scariest video game you’ve ever played? I know it's super cliche, but I genuinely found Outlast terrifying. As well, SCP Containment Breach is a game I can't even play because the jumpscares startle me too much, lol. They're just too loud. Do you own any pet fish? What kind of fish are they? No. I'm not really interested in keeping fish as pets. What is the most irritating thing that a boyfriend or girlfriend has ever done to you? Tyler wanted to talk CONSTANTLY. Barely even two weeks in and he got all bent out of shape over there being days we just didn't text. Like dude, especially this early in a relationship, I don't want to talk 24/7. He acted like we were together for years or some shit. Like sorry I want alone time. That relationship was just a bad idea. Have you ever known someone who was in an abusive relationship? Sadly. Out of all of your friends/relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? Probably Girt. He's just in general very smart. When yawning, do you cover your mouth? If out in public, yes. If you had a garden, what would you plant in it? Would you actually tend to it, or would it wind up neglected & withered? I could NEVER maintain a garden, but if I had the motivation and tolerance for the heat, that'd be nice. I'd love mostly flowers, and a grapevine would be pretty! Plus some strawberries. Do you like peanut butter? Yeah, definitely. What about marshmallows? Yep. How do you roast your marshmallows? They have to be BARELY brown at all. Like it has to be the liiightest toast. Do you eat s’mores? Ugh, hell yes. I really want some now, thanks. Own a lava lamp? No, but I'd love a pink one. :( Or black. Own any sort of glow-in-the-dark room accessory? No. Ever done something sexual in public? No, I have common decency. Do you like the taste of squid or eel? I COULD FUCKING NEVER TRY EITHER. Slimy or rubbery stuff like that is such a massive no. Ever date anybody in middle school? Yeah, Aaron in the 7th grade for a few months. Did you like to get dirty when you were little? I think I did. Like I know I loved speeding through mud puddles on my bike as a kid. Own anything that has to do with dragons or unicorns? I have a lot of dragon decor. Ever wanted to be a vet? Yep. Ever written your number in a public bathroom or a school text book? If so, did anyone actually call you? No. What type of weapon do you prefer? Uh, none...? I don't like weapons. Is there something that you haven’t told anyone that you actually would like to tell someone? No, not really. Would you rather watch a full season of American Idol, or So You Think You Can Dance? The latter, by far. I used to love that show. I really enjoy watching dances. Have you ever worn boxers? Pretty sure no? Last hickey was from? I've only gotten to that point with one person, you can figure it out. Have you ever put a kick me sign on the back of someone? No, that is so rude. Are there any inappropriate pictures of you anywhere? No. I've never taken an inappropriate picture. How many times do you tend to sneeze in a row? Two or three. Karma; believe or don’t? I don't believe it's a thing. I wish it was. Ever changed a diaper? Once. Or maybe twice? No plans on ever doing that again. When you see anything smaller than a quarter on the ground, do you pick it up? I don't even pick quarters up, really. Can bald guys ever be attractive? Um, yes? Do you like hugs? Yessss. Would you ever donate blood? Yeah, I have before. I'd just have to get better about drinking water so I don't faint. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? No. Ever had the opposite sex over when no one was home? You make that sound so scandalous, lmao. Yeah. What is the last song to make you cry? "Another Life" by Motionless In White. Have you ever kissed someone in the rain? Yeah. Have you kissed someone with braces? No. Are you anyone’s first love? I don't believe so. Anything happen to you within the past month that made you really happy? I'M LOSING WEIGHTTTTTT. :') The gym is paying off! Is there a person of the opposite gender on your mind? That's kinda a permanent thing. He's always there, even if only in the back. Who was the last person to wink at you? My cat, ha ha. Did you parents know what gender you were before you were born? Yes. Are any of your really close friends pregnant right now? REALLY close friends, nope. Are you for or against inter-racial relationships? ... You know it's 2021, right???? This never should have been controversial. Have you ever been addicted to something unhealthy? Well, there's caffeine... When the holidays come around, do you watch holiday movies? No. When was the last time someone insulted you? What was the insult? I don't recall. Do you say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” in order to avoid offending people who don’t celebrate Christmas? I honestly just say "merry Christmas." Have you ever made/played with a sock puppet before? Yes. Have you ever seen a waterfall (aside from in a fountain or other manmade things)? Only small ones. Are you a frequent sufferer of heartburn? Yes; I actually have a prescription for chronic heartburn. If I don't take it, I'll get heartburn to the point I come near tears. How many different colleges have you gone to? Three. How much stress can you handle? Ha, not a lot at all. What is one thing you thought you’d never do but have done or are doing? I'm 25 and feel like I've just... wasted so much, and I continue to. I never thought I'd make it to this age and to have gone so short a distance in terms of being a successful adult. Have you ever disowned a friend or family member for their beliefs? I've stopped being friends with people, yes. Do you ever feel like your life is too boring or predictable? It 120% is. Do you think you will die happy? To be honest... I think no a lot of the time. Do you like looking at pictures? Yeah. Are you a submissive person? Very. Do you believe the dead can have connections with the living? I do. What are your views on the death penalty? I support it in extreme cases. Once you prove to be a thorough monster that deeply endangers other humans... you don't deserve life. We as a society have to work together, not destroy one another. Do you like horror movies? Why or why not? Yeah! I like the thrill of them. Would you ever be able to become a vegan? No; I am FAR too picky with my food. I want to be vegan, but I just wouldn't survive. What was your favorite toy as a child? I had a whole story based around some plastic dinosaurs, alligators, deer, and Pokemon figurines. Who was your first best friend? What is your favorite memory of/with them? Are you two still friends? Brianna. I don't know what my favorite memory is... We made a lot. We're Facebook friends, but we don't talk anymore. Would you rather hang out with someone who is always high or someone who constantly wants to get drunk all the time? High, I guess. Drunk people I think get sloppier and, in some cases, angry. The (few) high people I've been around have just been chill and friendly. How did you meet your newest friend? I'm not entirely sure who I consider to be my newest friend. The last time you kissed someone, were your arms around their neck? I don't think so? I'm pretty sure I was just hugging her around the waist. You have to get a facial piercing, what do you get? I've mentioned how I wanna get my nose re-pierced in multiple surveys. Do you straighten your hair? No. When is the next time you will see the person you like? Who knows, dude. I really want to be able to walk for two minutes without feeling like I'm dying before I go to an airport again, and even more importantly, even as a fully-vaccinated person, I want Covid to chill out before I travel again. And who the fuck knows when that'll be since people don't want to listen to goddamn professionals. Did you get to sleep in today? I actually slept through my alarm and was late to gym today. :x Your first dog? I was born into the family with a collie named Trigger, but she passed when I was a baby, so I don't have any memories of her. We got what I want to say was a Rottweiler mix named Angel at one point, who I consider our first family dog, but she was born with that disease that some puppies have where they just... die. Who I consider MY first REAL dog was Teddy. <3 Stood loyally by my side as my furry son and most devoted friend for around 13 years. Do you prefer mint, citrus, or cinnamon toothpaste? Mint. Are you one of those people who are always cold? No, I'm always hot. Have you done anything sneaky lately? No. Have you ever had feelings for someone and thought “This is the person I want to be with forever”? Yeah, twice. Do you keep notes, drawings or letters that people give you? Of course! Have you had a significant other that you never kissed? Well, boyfriends, but I wouldn't count the ones I haven't kissed as truly "significant other"s. Has anybody ever dated you only for your looks? I don't think so. Do you have any handshakes with anybody? Nah. What are you listening to? "Necessary Evil" by Motionless In White & Jonathan Davis. Would you take back your last boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah. Who is your favorite band? How long have they been? Ozzy Osbourne. Since middle school. Who is your favorite author? I don't have a fave. Do you like cheesecake? BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH- How did you meet the last person you kissed? YouTube, back when it had more social aspects. Do you wake up cranky? Not usually, no. I'm actually in my best mood in the morning. Have you ever met your favorite band/singer? No, but holy fuck would that be awesome. I want to thank him for his music so badly. Do you have a good relationship with your parent(s)? Yeah. Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? My old house, yes, but not this one. Do chickens have feelings? Yes. Have you ever been to a spa? Yeah, even though I really wasn't interested. I just went with Colleen because she invited me. I appreciated her wanting to hang out and include me of course, so I was happy to go, but it's not something I'd do of my own volition. The last time you were in the fridge, what were you looking for? The lemonade. Favorite South Park character? I don't have one, given I'm not interested in the show. How often do you have to shave? When/where I shave grows back FAST, so frequently. Ever go ghost hunting? No but omg I'd love to. Someone date me just to go do this together one night lmao. Do you have any family in the military? No. Can you talk to your mother about most things? I know I CAN talk to her about absolutely everything, but I don't always. Would you ever homeschool your children? If they wanted it and it'd be beneficial to their health and educational success, then yes. Are you afraid of change? Oh boy, am I. Who’s your favourite character from one of your favourite books? I'll go with The Outsiders, in which case I remember it was Dally.

[psycheswritings]

Nothing’s Fair in Love and War - One

Title: Nothing’s Fair in Love and War

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Original Female Character (Daphne Scott)

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 4770

Author’s Note: Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah for everybody. If you're not celebrating something different or not celebrating at all, feel welcome too. As promised, the first real chapter of the saga is here. Hope you all like it. Again, this haven’t been proofread, so feel free to report any mistakes back to me; warnings are expecific for each chapter. Also, your feedback is also highly appreciated.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

Masterlist

Summary: Thomas Shelby wants to expand his business to London and for that to be possible he needs to form and alliance with the unpredictable Alfie Solomons. However he may get more than what he was bargaining for when he meets Daphne, a mysterious woman who works alongside the Jew gangster.

One

Buried into an unrealistic amount of paperwork the last thing Daphne thought that could happen that day was Thomas Shelby appearing at the door of the bakery asking to talk to Alfie.

She couldn’t believe it when Ollie came into her office saying that the leader of the Peaky Blinders – who was supposed to be in a hospital bed for at least two more weeks – was there waiting to talk to their boss. She stared at the younger man in front of her for what seemed like a few minutes until he spoke again.

“Josiah is holding him at the door. He doesn’t look so well but is insisting in talking to Alfie.”

“Ok, go on there and hold him for a minute while I go talk to Alfie.” The woman said while getting up from her chair and leaving the room. When she crossed the corridor towards Alfie’s office she saw the Brummie gangster in the distance. It was clear that he was giving a hard time to Josiah, who was trying to hold him back. He was impeccably dressed in a suit, something that made him quite distinguished in the middle of a distillery, but her trained eyes could see that he was in some kind of pain. Ollie made his way towards the both of them, discharging Josiah. Thomas attention was brought to her and despite the distance Daphne recognized a spark of surprise mixed with curiosity in his face.

“Ever heard of fucking knocking?” Daphne simply rolled her eyes, at least he was in a good mood.

“Thomas Shelby is here.” His reaction was immediate, lifting his gaze from the papers in his hands and looking directly at her while she approached his desk.

“Fucking what?”

“Well, you did send him the telegram, didn’t you? It was almost an invitation, you had to be expecting that he would take it.”

“Well, not so soon, love. Our associate didn’t said that he was beaten to death?” Confusion painted the gangster’s face while he looked expectantly at the woman in front of him.

“He was ambushed by Sabini and his men not a week ago.” She paused remembering what Alice had said to her. “A friend of mine who works in the hospital in Birmingham said that he was severely injured and that he would be discharged of the hospital care in more or less a month. If he was lucky.”

“Hell, what is he doing here then?”

“Trying to talk to you.” Daphne simply said. “He was giving Josiah a hard time, Ollie is holding him back now.” Alfie stood up in between a bunch of curses, heading to the door. When he passed Daphne, he stopped and looked at her before saying:

“You stay in your office. Let me deal with him. I don’t want you around this one more than what is necessary.”

“Alfie, this is really the best time for you to play big brother with me?” She almost rolled her eyes but he seemed serious so she held herself back. Goddammit, she knew how to fend for herself but he always seemed to forget it.

“Anytime is a good time to protect you from danger you don’t have to expose yourself to. I made a promise that I don’t intend on breaking.” They just stared at each other for a moment before he left the room leaving the door open for her. Daphne’s fingers immediately searched for the locket hanging in a chain around her neck, playing with it. She took a deep breath and tried to ignore the lump in her throat before following his steps out of the room. This wasn’t the moment to revisit the past. Her eyes crossed with Tommy’s when she was going back to her office and she saw the spark of interest in the way he watched her.

He was going to be trouble, that much she was certain.

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Thomas watched carefully as Alfie Solomons walked through the extent of the distillery to meet him at the door. He was still intrigued by the woman who passed by – he had done his research and none of them lead to a wife or a significant other in the Jewish gangster’s life. A sister would also appear on his radar, just like Ada did to Sabini. No, beautiful as she was and walking freely at the distillery she had to mean something important Solomons. Mistress, maybe? Thomas wasn’t inclined on believing Alfie would permit his mistress to walk around the distillery freely, commanding his business as her own. Besides, she seemed too classy to sell herself like that but appearances are deceiving. He would discover their bond one way or another.

“Put him down, Ollie. Put him down, mate. He is only little.” Ollie took a step back immediately and Thomas took one forward, towards Alfie who looked quizzically at him before asking “You on your own?”

“Seems so.” Tommy said after looking behind him almost mockingly. Alfie said nothing on the subject - the man was bold, he had to give him that. Another reason to keep Daphne as far as possible from him.

“Well, you're a brave lad, ain't you?” He started walking back to where he came from, Tommy in his heels and Ollie right behind. “You want to take a look at my bakery? We bake all sorts here, mate, yeah. Did you know we bake over ten thousand loaves a week? Can you believe it? We bake the white bread, we bake the brown bread. We bake all sorts.” The Jew stopped turning to look at Tommy, a table with glasses and a couple of bottles of what the Brummie supposed was rum right in front of them. “Would you like to try some? Bread? Yeah?” Thomas sniffed before looking between the table and Alfie. This seemed like some kind of test.

“All right.”

“What would you like, brown or white?”

“Will try the brown.”

“Brown, right.” Two glasses were poured and the both man took them. Tommy took a sip of the drink while Alfie studied his reaction closely.

“Not bad.” He stated after analyzing the contents of the glass and putting it back down on the table.

“Not bad? Not bad, huh?” They stared at each other for a few moments. “It's fucking awful that stuff. Fucking brown stuff is awful, but it's for the workers. Yeah. White stuff now, right, is for the bosses. Come look.” Them Alfie led Thomas to his office with a smiling Ollie behind them.

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“Well, I've heard very bad, bad, bad things about you Birmingham people. Tsk, tsk, eh?” Thomas looked unimpressed as he took a pack of cigarettes and matches from the table, lightening one and taking a drag. “You're gypsies, right? So what, do you live in a fucking tent or caravan?”

“I came here to discuss business with you, Mr. Solomons.” Thomas completely ignored Alfie’s attempt of putting him off by making comments about his heritage. The other man clapped his hands, leaning into the desk between them.

“Well, rum is for fun and fucking, isn't it? So, whiskey, now that, that is for business.” Alfie opened a drawer in his desk from where he took a bottle of whiskey.

“Let's talk first, eh?” Solomons scratched his beard, analyzing Tommy once again before taking back the bottle from the desk. He immediately remembered Daphne’s words from right after the moment they discovered that the Brummie and his brothers had crashed into the Eden Club, that he was underestimating the Blinders.

“Suit yourself.” While he put the whiskey back on the drawer, Alfie continued. “They say you had your life saved by a policeman!”

“I have policeman on my payroll.”

“I don’t like policeman, because policeman, they can’t be trusted.”

“Mr. Sabini uses policeman all the time. That’s why he is winning the war in London and you’re losing it.” That made the Jew’s blood boil and his answer was sharp. Maybe Daphne was right, after all.

“A war ain’t over till it’s over, mate.” Alfie narrowed his eyes, his hands closed in fists. “You were in the war?” He opened the top drawer again while talking. “I once carried out my own personal form of stigmata on a Italian. I pushed his face up against the trench and shoved a six-inch nail up his fucking nose and I hammered it home with a duckboard. It was fucking biblical, mate. So don’t come in here and sit there in my chair and tell me that I’m losing my war to a fucking wop.”

“That war was a long time ago. You need to be more realistic.” Alfie slammed the drawer shut again. He didn’t liked the fact that he could clearly picture Daphne saying the very same thing to him.

“Realistic, eh?” He leaned into the desk once again. “Realistic.”

“Well, if you weren’t losing the war then you wouldn’t have sent me that telegram.” Thomas stated taking another drag of the cigarette. He was getting where he wanted.

“Really? You forget your fucking telegram, the telegram just said “hello”.” His tone was dismissive. “Face it, you want to sell me something.” Alfie paused for a second. “What?”

“We join forces.”

“Fuck off. No. Categorical. Fucking ridiculous.” Alfie said reclining back into his chair. It was Tommy’s time to come forward and lean on the desk.

“Mr. Solomons, your distillery provides one-tenth of your income. Protection is another ten percent and the rest you make from the race tracks.” While Thomas was talking, Alfie kept toying with the drawer’s handle what made Brummie gangster annoyed. “I know you keep a gun in the drawer. I know you keep it beside the whiskey. I know you offer a deal or death.” They just stared at each other for a moment in a battle of wits. “I know what I’m saying makes you angry but I’m offering you a solution.” The Jewish gangster scratched his beard once again while Thomas continued talking. “You see, Mr. Sabini is running all your bookies off your courses. And he is closing down the premises that take your rum. And people don’t trust your protection anymore.”

“You’re the blow that shoot Billy Kimber, right?” Alfie asked pointing at Tommy. “You did, you fucking shot him. That’s you.” The Brummie just stayed silent. “You fucking betrayed him, mate. So it’ll be only appropriate to do what I’m thinking in my head to you right now.” The Jew’s right hand came to rest on the drawer’s handle. Thomas seemed unfazed by it – he didn’t care about dying anymore. He also knew that Solomons wouldn’t have send him the telegram if he wasn’t interested in his help, so he was convinced that all that was more of a demonstration of power than anything else.

“I can offer you a hundred good men, all with weapons and a new relationship with the police.”

“Intelligence. Intelligence is a very valuable thing, ain’t it, my friend. And usually it comes far too fucking late.” Alfie puts a gun at Tommy’s face then. “Let’s say I shoot you already, right, in the fucking face. And the bullet goes bone, mush, bone, cabinet, over there. Which is a shame, isn’t it? Because that cabinet is fucked, now I gotta get shot of it. So, what I do is this. It’s fucking simple, mate.” Tommy’s nose starts bleeding at the same time Alfie uncocks the gun and put it down on the table. “I cut that cabinet in half, don’t I? I do, I just cut the cabinet, I cut…” Alfie throws a handkerchief at the table towards Tommy that just ignores it and cleans the blood from his face with his hand. “I cut the cabinet literally in half, mate. And I take one half of the cabinet, right, and I put it into a barrel and take the other half of the cabinet and all its pieces and I put it into another barrel, right. And I send this barrel off to Mandalay and the other barrel to somewhere like… I don’t know. Timbuktu. Have you ever been?”

“No.”

“No? Would you like to go?”

“No.”

“Yeah, I always thought you’d have a great, big, fucking gold ring in your nose.” They just stared at each other again. “I am sorry, go on. Tell us your plan.”

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Not much time after Daphne was back in her office, Ollie came in telling that she was needed down on the bakery. She sighed before following him. It was always like that, when Alfie wasn’t available she was the one to deal with the important things. She was talking to one of their associates when she heard Alfie’s thunderous voice calling her name. He was at the door of his office searching for her. When their eyes met, Daphne raised her brows in a questioning look. He just discharged it by signing her to come over, telling the man she was talking to to wait a minute.

Alfie waited for her at the door, putting a protective hand at her back when she reached him. Daphne did not question him, she just entered the office with him right behind her back. Thomas was standing, waiting for her, intrigued by the interaction between her and the Jewish gangster. She noticed the bottle of whiskey on the desk beside two glasses. Then Alfie got what he wanted, after all. But when didn’t he? That was the reason why he wanted her there - he knew she would have to deal with the Shelby’s now that they were officially doing business together and he wanted to have control on how she would met their leader. It was somewhat of laying a claim on her for protection but at the same time, it showed that she was leading things as much as he was.

“Tommy, mate, this is my second in command, my right hand woman, Daphne.” It didn’t go unnoticed by Tommy or Daphne the lack of addressing her last name.

“Thomas Shelby.” He offered her his hand that she took while saying.

“I know.” That made him smile and Alfie scratched his beard in thinking, once again.

“Okay, I made you acquainted because you’ll probably deal with her when I’m not available. Daphne knows everything about the business, probably more than me, mate. So, you fucking respect her and everything should be fine.” That sparked Thomas curiosity - so she worked for Solomons. It was unusual for a man like Alfie to have a woman as his right hand. Of course he had Polly as his second in line but she was family and family should be trusted and put above all. These two didn’t seemed related and yet there was one of the most feared gangster’s in London trusting his business to a woman that Thomas didn’t knew what meant to him. Yet.

“Wouldn’t think otherwise.” Thomas eyes were fixed on her and Daphne noticed for the first time how blue they were. She should feel intimidated, probably, but all she felt was curious. They were interrupted by a knock on the door, it was Ollie.

“I’m sorry, Alfie, but Mr. Sawyer insists on talking to one of you right this moment.” The Jew gangster sighed.

“Fucking hell, that man. Daph, can you…”

“No way. You talk to him. I will take Mr. Shelby to the door, it seems your business here is already finish.” She looked between the two men. “For now.” She left the office without looking back, waiting for the Brummie just outside. Mr. Sawyer appeared in her field of vision with Ollie, making a beeline to her.

“Oh, if it’s not a sight for sore eyes.” The older man kissed the back of Daphne’s hand right, lingering for a little more than was appropriated, in the moment that Tommy and Alfie appeared at the door. Daphne didn’t seemed intimidated or uncomfortable, just annoyed.

“Leave the poor woman alone, Sawyer. Let’s talk business.” Mr. Sawyer said something that Daphne didn’t bothered to take in before he entered Alfie’s office with Ollie on his heels, she was distracted by the feeling of Thomas eyes on her.

“Quite famous around here, aren’t you.” Was all he said when they were left alone in the hall. She just smiled and started walking towards the exit.

“You could say so.”

“Didn’t knew Alfie had a woman.” He commented, trying to fish for information - information that Daphne wasn’t willing to share yet.

“Believe me when I say that Alfie doesn’t have any problem finding women.”

“You’re what, his mistress?” That made Daphne stop in her tracks and turn to look him in the eye. They were already at the front doors and Tommy took the opportunity to take her in better in the light of day– she wore white blouse and light brown skirts that stopped a little above her ankles, boots on her feet. He didn’t noticed many jewelry, just a ring on her left hand, some earrings and a golden locket hanging from her neck. Thomas also noticed that she had hazel eyes that were looking at him with a hint of amusement that he did not expect.

“That’s for me to know and for you to find out.” She saw a glimpse of surprise in his features caused by her answer, so she continued. “Don’t take me for a fool, Mr. Shelby. Besides, there are things better left unknown. Now, if that’s all, I think you’re free to go. Have a good day, Mr. Shelby.” With that she smiled and left him there, speechless, watching her disappear inside the distillery asking himself where the hell did she came from.

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More than an hour after she had left Thomas at the door, Alfie stepped into her office and took a sit in one of the chairs in front of her desk. She did her best to ignore his presence, not taking her eyes of the book she was working on, but it was really difficult to do that when he made his mission to keep moving in the chair, puffing every second and making noises indicating his annoyance to drawn her attention. When she couldn’t bear it anymore she put the pencil down and looked straight into his eyes, making him stop shuffling around.

“Do you need something, Alfie?”

“Aye, actually I do.” He kept staring at her and she just raised a brown in acknowledgment. She knew exactly what he wanted – her opinion on Thomas Shelby – but she wouldn’t make things easier for him. “What did you think about the gypsy?” She hated his word use - especially his tone - but choose to ignore it. You had to know how to pick your battles and that one could wait.

“You already know what I think about it.”

“I know what you think about doing business with him not of him in itself.” Alfie explained, pressing her for an analyses and Daphne let out a heavy breath, leaning into the chair.

“He is trouble.” She paused for a moment thinking about their brief interaction. “He is overconfident, overly ambitious and he is fearless.” Alfie could see the conflict in her eyes. “He is dangerous, Alfie. That’s what he is.”

“Well, I’m dangerous too, love.”

“It’s different.” She picked the pencil from the table and started to play with it. “It’s like you are two sides of the same coin, it’s just… I don’t know how to feel about him.”

“Did he tried something in his way out?” She noticed the hide concern in his question - Alfie was good in disguising his worries about her as something just business related.

“No. He just assumed I was your mistress. He’s very bold, we have to give him that.” A smile crept up onto her face.

“Mistress? The lad is out of his mind, that’s what he is.” He leaned closer to the table, anger seeping through his features.

“He’s not the first to assume that and he won’t be the last.” Alfie knew that it was true. He had heard the rumors around Camden about them both being romantically involved. When he came back from the war with the beautiful girl in his heels people just assumed, in particular because she went to live with him. Bu things were not like that for them – they were like brother and sister and Alfie hated that people just assumed that she had to be opening her legs for him. “You didn’t help it by not revealing my surname.”

“I just wanted to know what he knew about us. He clearly had done his fair share of research. Even knew where I was supposed to keep the gun.”

“It’s only fair, you’ve had done your research on him too.”

“And now we know that he didn’t knew about you. We can use that to our advantage.” They stayed quiet for a while, just staring at nothing, both deep in thought.

“Do you really think it was a good idea to make a deal with him?” Daphne knew they had to do something about the war against Sabini but was still unsure if the Peaky Blinders were worth the trouble.

“We need to win the war, Daph. We will just use him and after that we part ways, aye?”

“That’s the thing, Alfie, I don’t believe that Thomas Shelby is one to be discarded that easily.”

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“There’s something bothering you.” Polly had noticed it since her nephew had come back from London. A hint of something she could not quite figure out.

“There is a woman.” Thomas simple said taking another drag of his cigarette.

“A woman?” Polly was confused.

“Yep.”

“With Solomons?” Thomas nodded. “Well, a wife would have been mentioned. Maybe she is his mistress?”

“I thought about that but I don’t believe so. She is acquainted with the business. He introduced her as his second in command.” The older woman raised her brows in thinking.

“Second in command. Interesting choice of words.”

“Indeed. She appears to be highly educated and the men seem to trust her. Solomons certainly does.” He had been thinking about his short interaction with the mysterious woman – Daphne, the name swayed in his mouth as whiskey, sweet and smooth. She had been on the back of his mind since then, usually the only thing that kept his mind off thinking about the letter in his pocket.

“Well, you better discover who she is. If he has her in so high regards it could be of some value being in her good sides.” Polly was right, of course, Daphne could be an asset to them, but Tommy wanted to discover who she was for entirely different reasons.

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The Garrison was packed - people everywhere for the grand reopening of the pub. Tommy wasn't really in the mood for partying, but he had to keep the appearances. The last few days haven't been the easiest ones for him - Aunt Polly was giving him the cold shoulder because he couldn't reveal where her son was, Arthur had been on edge after killing a boy in the boxing ring, he had to sort some things out about the deal with Solomons and on top of it all, Grace's letter had been sitting on his pocket since Lizzie gave it to him.

For all of that, he found himself sitting alone at one of the tables at the back of the pub, staring at the envelope in front of him. He lit a match and set it on fire just as Polly entered through the back door. She just ignored him and his calls after her, going straight to the party. Not long after Ada entered the pub, Polly immediately going after her niece. Tommy took a glass of champagne for Ada at the same time Esme took Karl from his sister. He made his way to the two women.

“Hello, Ada.” Polly stopped talking mid-sentence, exhaling loudly before leaving them. The gangster handed the glass of champagne to his sister.

“Tommy.” She noticed the tension between his brother and their aunt.

“What do you think, eh?” The two of them start to walk, Ada observing their surroundings.

“It's very, hum...”

“Gold?” He asked with humor.

“Yeah.” Then John appears, hugging Ada and they talk to each other briefly. When he is gone, she turns to talk to Tommy once again. “So what do you want me to say to her?”

“Just talk to her. Nobody can get through to her. Tell her I have no choice.” Ada nods towards him. “I appreciate this.” He observes as Ada leaves him to talk to Polly. The older woman looks at him with disdain while talking to her niece, before leaving to talk with a young man in the other side of the room. He was about to return to the back room when a furor at the front door caught his attention.

There at the doors of the Garrison was Daphne, in a beautiful velvet dress, the deep green of the fabric complimenting beautifully the color of her eyes, making them spark in the light. She held a black coat in one of her arms and a folder in the other. The sight of her took Tommy aback - the woman had been haunting his thoughts for days in a row. She searched the room for Tommy and when her eyes found his she smiled.

He didn’t needed to look around to know that almost all of the heads in the room had turned to her or that people were analyzing the beautiful stranger smiling to the leader of the Peaky Blinders. She started to walk towards him and Tommy couldn’t avoid staring at the way the fabric of her dress brushed over the black stockings covering her legs or the way her hips moved from side to side.

“Mr. Shelby.” They shook hands holding each other gazes.

“Daphne. I would address you properly if I knew your last name.”

“Daphne works fine for me.” She simply answered with a smirk on her face. Thomas almost smiled to himself - she what game he was playing and wasn’t going to give in that easily.

“You are here for the party?”

“Unfortunately, no. Alfie sends you his regards and some papers that need tend to.” She said showing him the folder in her hands.

“And he sent you all the way from London at this hour just to give me some papers?” Her smile only grew at his direct approach.

“Contrary to popular belief my life doesn’t revolve around Alfie’s.” The way she addressed the Jew gangster so casually wasn’t lost to him. Neither did the fact that she had no problem talking back at him - he didn’t intimidate her and Thomas found that amusing. “I was visiting a friend at the hospital and since I was already there it was only logical bringing you the documents.” A friend in the hospital – that could be useful to his research.

“Alfie really trusts you.”

“We have history.” Tommy couldn’t quite explain why her statement bothered him. It was obvious that Daphne and Alfie shared a strong bond or he would not let her around dealing with his business. He also knew that she wasn’t his wife but she didn’t denied being his mistress, although he didn’t believed in it being true considering her reaction towards his questioning at the bakery. The simple thought of it being true made him angry.

“I don’t believe in the sight before my eyes. If it isn’t Daphne Scott here in the good old Small Heat!”

“Ada Thorne. Back to your hometown, I see” The two woman shared a long hug while a very confused Tommy watched the interaction.

“Just visiting the family.” Ada looked at Tommy and he noticed that one of Daphne’s hand instantly searched for the golden locket that rested hidden between her breasts. “What are you doing here? And where did you had the displeasure of meeting one of my brothers?” Daphne and Tommy shared a glance towards one another before she spoke again.

“Thomas is working with my boss, I was collateral damage.” Ada looked at her brother and then at her friend.

“Well, you better keep your eyes open because this one is trouble.”

“Yeah, I figured that much.” Ada noticed the way Tommy’s eyes sparkled hearing Daphne – a hint of his mischievous old self. She smiled to herself since the pair seemed too lost into each other to notice. Maybe it was a good thing they had met after all.

[lively-lizard]

Bnha Light Novel Volume 1 Translations Chapter 3 Part 3

Soo, it’s been a long time, but I finally have the motivation to continue. Hope ya’ll had a wonderful Christmas this year or just holiday, cause I didn’t celebrate shit, expect for shopping with a good friend.

Well, without wasting any room, let’s continue

“Hello, U.A. High School.”

“Hello? I am Todoroki Shouto’s family from Class 1A, I’m looking for Class A’s supervisor Aizawa- sensei.”

The voice from the receiver sound’s like a young woman, Aizawa keeps searching for Todoroki’s family members in his mind.

(Family...... I remember in Todoroki’s residence......)

“Hello, I am Aizawa, please to meet you. I beg your pardon, but you are......”

“Ah, sorry, I’m his sister.I’m the one who should thanking you for taking care of our Shouto.”(precious Fuyumi)

“This call came in the right time, I just contacted your home.”

“Really? Sorry, I just came home. The teachers meeting was really prolonged ......”

Those familiar words made Aizawa slightly shock.

“Teachers meeting?...... Aah, I remember that you seems to be an elementary school teacher right?”

“Ah, yes...... two teachers having a conversation like this seems weird.”

Even though they’re from the same family, but the sister was different than Todoroki, her voice coming from the phone has a  caring and talkative aura.

(But, for a hard to get along and cold type of person probably wouldn’t be an elementary school teacher.) (like you Aizawa)

“What did you call for...... did anything happened to Shouto......?”

“As she thought of what Aizawa just said, her voice became worried.

“No, I’m just informing you about parents day.”

“Is that so.”

Hearing Aizawa’s simplistic answer, she lets out a sigh of relief.

Aizawa thinks back to Todoroki’s first appearance when he first entered high school. Even though he’s strong, but he refuses to involve with anyone. From his looks, when Todoroki was in middle school and elementary school, the school must’ve reported some bad news. (poor boy)

“May I ask who is going to the event on that day?”

“Ah, that would be me. I wanted to actually ask you something about parents day.......”

“Sure.”

“Can I record on that day? I definitely won’t interfere the teacher’s class.”

(Recording? To keep as a memento? That’s pretty caring.)

That rare request made Aizawa puzzled a bit.

“Really sorry, for safety purposes, the school prohibits bringing any recording devices.”

“Is that so......”

Her voice originally sounded regretful, but as Aizawa started to concisely explain, her voice then changes back to her usual voice.

“——and that is all, please to meet you.”

“It’s okay, I’m the one who should be saying that.”

When Aizawa was hanging up the phone, and ticking the name on the list that’s on his hand, he suddenly thought of something.

(What is it’s not for memento——)

Present Mic’s smug voice reached to Aizawa as he was thinking that thought.

“If it was me, I’ll seize the TV station!! Sending my voice as a signal to all the people’s ears on their evening time! And during that time when they’re unconscious, I’ll steal all the jewels and women’s heart~! How’s is it, just like a pro right?”

“Why do want to be a jewel thief, it’s not a comic, and the jewel store’s security is pretty strong wouldn’t it?”

“Under the attack of my voice, even if it’s reinforced glass can break you know? It’ll shatter!” (earrape)

“Sigh, that’s not important, you guys want to hear my bad idea? If you wanna hear it, kneel down and lick my shoe!” (i already felt uncomfortable typing it down, but they seem to be used to it)

“No need, thanks.”

Midnight is showing a coquettish smile, Cementoss then uses a flat answer just his body to answer.

“Cementoss, don’t be so stiff. All right, I’ll make this as an exception and tell you guys! Precisely, I’ll make everyone fall asleep first, then I’ll take that chance to use their weakness to threaten them.” (happy new year to the people that’s at my time zone, cause the fireworks just got launched) (it was already over cause i’m hecking late)

“That’s pretty despicable.”

“Even though it’s not eye- catching, but it feels like the authentic ones are pretty bad too.”

Thirteen shaking his head with antipathy.

“But, what will you do if you can’t find any weakness?”

“If it’s under that kind of condition then....... just make one up is fine! I’ll do something to them while they’re sleeping.”

Hearing Cementoss’s doubt, Midnight then shamelessly throws amorous glances.

“That’s a pretty careless plan.”

“It’s so realistic that it’s scary!”

“Vicious and sexy...... just like a bitch.” (I made this up cause I couldn’t really translate the word)

Looking at the time that Aizawa’s busy calling, the teachers’ conversation turned into a boasting about their quirks to do bad things.

(What the hell are they doing......)

Specially retort is pretty idiotic, Aizawa decides to call finish the rest of the calls. He first uses his eyedrop on his dry eyes, gather back his thoughts and takes up the receiver again.

And yet the heroes doesn’t know his thoughts, as they keep chatting on.

“But, why do you guys feel so happy when you’re talking about bad stuff? I feel like I’ve done something that I shouldn’t have, I feel painful deep inside my body.

“Human’s vile spawn.”

“Can’t do, we’re heroes you know!”

“Thirteen, don’t think about it, it’s just a conversation after all! It’s just a delusion of 100% fresh orange juice!”

“Present Mic pats Thirteen’s shoulder with a frivolous tone, Cementoss at his side was a bit curious and opened his mouth:

“Now that we think about it, we wanted to be heroes since we were young, and that’s pretty upright, hard to say that we naturally suppressed ourselves inside, warning ourselves to never do bad things.”

“Unsatisfied wishes is the perfect spices for achieving happiness, but accumulating too much is a no no! Letting yourself breathe out once for a while is needed. If you want, I can help you to relax. It’s really easy? Just throw away that heavy burden that is your self- esteem, and become my slave!”

“No need.”

Cementoss indifferently continues to smile.

“People like us thinking how to do bad things, doesn’t really count as a bad thing, it helps us to know villain’s thoughts.

“That makes sense.”

Present Mic suddenly says “Oh yeah!” Then say:

“If we’re talking about letting ourselves to breathe, you guys used your quirks to do pranks before right? Most people do that alright!”

“I never did any pranks.”

Thirteen shakes his head.

(That’s not possible right?)

The conversation slips in by accident, and it made Aizawa thinks, while still calling. At that time, Present Mic yells in surprise:

“That can’t be!! You go as far as be methodical since you were born! That’s just the embodiment of buddha!” (the original meaning of the word is theory of the original goodness of human nature, but i don’t know how to put it in)

(I surprisingly had the same thought as that guy......)

“......Ah, sorry, so that day——”

Even though Aizawa is having a straight face, he still uses the same tone as usual to continue explaining.

“Then did Present Mic- sensei did any pranks before?”

As Thirteen asked, Present Mic slightly thought for a while, then pridefully answers:

“When it was recess time, I did a rap contest beside my sleepy friend’s ear or something like that!” (earrape x2)

“Suddenly woke up Present Mic’s voice, feels like it’s not good for the heart.”

“And while that guy is sleeping, I’ll use 100% effect of a live and send over a hundred songs non- stop something like that!” (earrape x3)

“Being your friend sure is pitiful~”

“That guy must be me right.”

Hearing those past events that couldn’t slip through, Aizawa can’t help but put down the receiver, and dejectedly speaks in a low voice.

“Oh——yeah, MY FRIEND! Sorry sorry, just flushed those past events down to the drain!”

“Are the things you did were shit?” (the original one didn’t sound mean enough, so i added a bit of flavor text)

Aizawa was thinking that if it’s like that, then just let the memories go down the drain as well. He ignores his class,ate who’s having sympathy in his eyes, his voice sounded not caring at all again, as he continues to contact the students’ parents.

“......Hello, Miss Midoriya, pardon me. The signal was cut off a bit...... as I was saying......”

Present Mic who is faster than Aizawa to flush down his faults down continues to say:

“Oh yeah, did Midnight ever did some pranks before? It’s not possible for you to do 18+ stuff since back then right!?

“If it’s obscene stories then there’s no need.”

“Don’t be so mean, I’m was a cute little girl back then! But, if we’re talking about pranks, when me and my first boyfriend played house together, we played a doctor’s game”

“Ooh, using the examine tool to hear different places like that!?”

Seeing that Present Mic obviously got hooked by it and got exited, Midnight gave him a coquettish smile.

“Feel free to imagine! However, the doctor’s play got more realistic, it turn into a surgery play afterwards.......”

“Eh? Where did you did that surgery......?”

The expressive male heroes turned more stiff.

“Uhhehe, I’ll let everybody Imagine. It. By. Yourself. Maybe because of the surgery? That guy really hate girls after that, and walks down another path......” (oof, press f for that guy)

“What did you do to there!? What the heck did you do!”

Present Mic yells as he guards the thing that’s between his legs. As Midnight flashes back to the distant memory, she chuckles a bit, as she smiles.“Maybe the stimulation was a bit too much......”

“Don’t you show such a happy face while thinking back that memory! Thirteen also feels the same way right!?”

“......this doesn’t even relate to quirks, that’s just purely a prank right?”

“Oh my, it seems so! Don’t need to linger on me, tell me what kind of pranks you guys did before! Ectoplasm did too right?”

Being asked by Midnight like that, Ectoplasm opens his mouth to answer:

“I never used my quirk to do pranks...... but I just regret that one thing I did in my whole life......”

The heroes were all attracted by Ectoplasm’s extremely heavy atmosphere.“A confession on sins!? This makes it even more exciting——! If you want, I can diligently help you to censor it!”

“The celibacy Ectoplasm did something wrong, It’s hard to imagine!” (celibacy’s meaning is state of living unmarried, especially for religious reasons)

“That’s right, I want to hear it!”

“.......”

Ectoplasm uses his own rights to keep silent about it.

“Hey hey, you said it yourself, you can’t do that! Don’t just leave the audience be! HOLD ON ME!”

“I hope you guys can forget about it.”

Seeing as the teachers won’t let him off the hook that easily, Ectoplasm can’t help but regrets slipping those words out. Cementoss said to Ectoplasm  who is full of regrets:

“Don’t need to force yourself, but saying things out sometimes, maybe you’ll feel better? As teachers, we just want to help you.

”Seeing Cementoss’s small eyes full of concern, Ectoplasm was moved by it.

“——that happened when I was in elementary school.”

As Ectoplasm was talking about his past, Present Mic and the the others’ eyes began to light up, holding their breathe in excitement.

(Never thought it was that easy that easy to make him talk about it......)

“......Ah, hello, is this Mineta’s residence? I’m Minoru- san’s teacher Aizawa...... yes, thank you for your care. I’m calling today is to tell you about parents day——”

Aizawa disses them during the space between two calls, as he makes sure to finish his job. Ectoplasm completely doesn’t know that Aizawa was dissing him internally, as he opens that seems to be tight, but dishonest mouth to say:

“One morning, my body was constantly on my bedding for a long time, as time moves fast as light......”

“Eh? What does that mean?”

Cementoss answers the confused Present Mic:“He seems to be talking about being overslept.”

“I felt despair. But I haven’t gave up, I ran at full speed to the school...... However, the bell ruthlessly rings in front of me, I then used my clone to appear at the classroom......”

“...... So you’re saying, you used your clone to go to school because you were late right?”“Aah, even though it was for the perfect attendance award, but, but I feel like my sins are too deep......”

Ectoplasm’s confession made the heroes look at each other, as they disappointingly let out their sighs.

“That’s just disappointing! You go as far as to exploit that, isn’t that just shameless! And it’s the perfect attendance award too!”

“Because you said this was sin, it made me imagine things that are a lot more worse. Like a life and death situation, some emotional ties mingling love and hate or something like that.”

“It’s because everybody was having their own expectations, I only narrated the truth.”

Maybe because it was everybody’s reaction affected their mood, Ectoplasm seems slightly snubbed and sips his tea. Hearing Ectoplasm’s story, Thirteen seems to be thinking back something and say:

“If it’s this kind of story, I did it before too. Even though it’s a bit embarrassing, but I once used my black hole to suck up my wet futon, to get rid of evidence .......”

“You sure do know how to use your quirk! I wish to have that kind of power too——!”

“Nah, I still got caught in the end, got scolded a lot afterwards.”

Thirteen shyly scratches his helmet, Cementoss then say to him:“Wetting the bed huh? That’ really makes people smile when they think about it.”

“What about Cementoss? Ever did any pranks before?”

“Me? Let me think...... mostly when I was nearly caught during hide and seek, I made a wall, and did some modifications to it—— I can only say it until here.”

Cementoss’s calm smile made the other heroes stiffen.

“...... are there parts you can’t say.....?”

“Don’t ask, it’s scary! My grandfather once said, the worst persons are usually the most normal ones!!”

“But you wanted me to confess my secret first, and you didn’t truthfully say it, that’s just mean.”

“I want to hear it too. Knowing other’s secrets, that’s just makes me want to expose it.”

Thirteen and Present Mic were so scared that they started to overelaborate, while Ectoplasmm and Midnight got closer to Cementoss.

Cementoss then smiled to the teachers.

“Don’t take it seriously, I’m just joking.”

“......Eh, it’s just a joke~ Don’t scare us~”

“A joke that doesn’t make people laugh, doesn’t count as a joke.”

“Cementoss’s jokes doesn’t seems like it’s good for the heart——!“

“Sorry about that, say hi to your grandfather for me.”

“Ah, you’re holding a grudge!”

“Let it flow, let it flow! And flush it down the drain——!”

(This guy’s drain get’s clogged pretty fast won’t it?)

“—— Well then, that is all. Please to meet you.”

As Aizawa hangs up the phone, he ticks yaoyoruzu’s name on the paper that’s on his hand. As a result, the job of contacting the parents is done.

Maybe it was the fatigue and the accomplishment of the job done, Aizawa let’s out his breathe. The others didn’t even batted an eyelash at him, as they continue their chit- chat.

(But, they sure are pretty talkative, they can talk until there’s no end on this boring kind of subject......)

Aizawa stares at bewilderment at the teachers’ as they discuss.

“However, if we use our quirks together, perhaps we can become a strong villain in a certain degree, wouldn’t it!? We can do whatever bad things whenever , wherever we want!”

At the same time that Present Mic yells loudly, a sound came from a low place.

Well, that is done, took quite some time to actually finish typing it, it’s really interesting to see the heroes old self but it seems pretty enjoyable, but new year is over it seems and school is already starting for me. So there will be no translations until October or November, or just in the holidays I hope, if I have the motivation. Nonetheless, Happy New Year anyway!Check out my art if you guys are interested!

this is part 3.

please tell me if there are any errors, i’ll correct them if i have time

[shookmybones]

Thank the Queen for Foreign Boys

one.

Work was the worst. As if it didn’t suck that they needed me at the office instead of working from the comfort of my own home, I’m a mentor and I have little newbie puppies following me around with small notepads and pencils. What was this, Blues Clues? There I was, fresh out of college. Sure it’s been a good year, but still. It’s Graphic Design, not rocket science. The only thing that I look forward to as always, is meeting new people. Perry says I’m too nice of a person. “I’ll kill them all with sweetness,” is my usual response to that. I’m Darlenys, and I’m 22 years old. I live in California, working my butt off to live and stay living in the place that I pay rent to for a measly spot-with a balcony…Okay, okay. It’s a very fit and decent spot. My boyfriend helps with the rent. His name is Perry. Same age-none of that;)  He owns one of the most popular cafés in our part of California. He got promoted just a few months ago. It was the best day of his life. He’ll always be the little busboy who kissed me in the ladies room as I tried so hard to shut my little sister up for blowing my cover. Turns out, we were totally made for each other. I did eventually thank her for that, by the way. So, anyway…Back to more unfortunate things… I can’t work in the comfort of my own home like I used to, looking after my roommates, my little sister Marlen and my “soul sister” and bestfriendforever, Arlin. Now, Marlen’s only as old as she acts. Arlin, on the other hand, knows exactly where we live and takes advantage of that fact. See, Arlin has this boyfriend, Skandar Keynes. Yeah….He’s the kid from the Narnia movies….No. Edmund. No, no. Not the blond one! The brunette. The boy..Ah, yes. Him. He just so happens to be my best friend. Those two are just perfect for each other. Real-life soul mates. I never thought I’d see the day…especially after the year we’ve had. Almost paradise-ending fights with our boyfriends, Arlin and I have managed to keep a firm grip on our guys, and they as well on us. Skandar Keynes, otherwise known as “Skan-Skan” to Arlin, Marlen and I-secretly, of course, has a very important premiere to go to, which will be held at the one and only movie theater here in our huge town of gala and famous stars. (It’s California. We can do that.) So tonight, Arlin will be preparing for her night out with Skandar. Of course, she would be his one and only date to any premiere of any kind. They’re a couple, so why not? He preferred it that way. After the ‘incident’ with that Christensen kid-who almost made me lose the love of my life as well (Thanks, Christensen)-Skan-Skan likes to keep close to home, especially to keep an eye on Arlin and her socializing. See, it’s not that she was exactly doing anything WRONG, she was being honest with the kid. He was nice, until he decided to kiss her under a palm tree-like this is a movie or something. Com'ON! Anyway, Hayden eventually got the hint that Arlin was honestly not “into him” the way that he was “into her.” Thankfully, Arlin’s friend Jessica had been giving the kid googly eyes throughout their days in school so she suggested-nicely-for him to sort of misguide himself into the arms of a girl who was actually SINGLE. It worked and although Skan-Skan wasn’t too happy to hear about what went on while he was away at England, he did accept that something like that could have happened. Arlin had sworn to be completely honest with Skan-Skan and she let Christensen off with a warning. Lights were flashing faster than Arlin could blink. “There goes another picture of me looking stupid, I bet…” “It’s sort of hard to get used to.” The slow, but smooth-flowing nature of Skandar’s voice passed into Arlin’s ears, lighting up what had been her “best smile of the evening.” “HM. Maybe I should talk to you more often while they’re taking these…” Skandar spoke again, smiling just as wide as Arlin. Arlin laughed. Skandar kissed her on the forehead. The flashing became even more frantic than before. SUDDENLY, “HEY, SKANDAR!” A guy came running out of nowhere, dressed for the occasion, just not so prepared for it, since he was acting like some fan behind the ropes. He instantly caught Arlin’s eye. Arlin looked at Skandar. He was shaking his head, with a smile on his face. “Oh My God..” “What?” Arlin was curious to know who the beautiful stranger was. As he came closer into the frantically-flashing-camera zone, she could see that he had blond hair, set atop of his head in an artful way, almost. He was wearing a tux and some shiny dress shoes. He looked good…;) “Arlin…” “Whaddup?! Skandar. My main man…” He and Skandar performed a handshake that reminded you of a rollercoaster, almost. “Uh…” Arlin began. “Oh. Hello. I’m Xavier.” He put out his hand. “Um,..Hi. Hi, I’m Arlin.” She noticed herself letting out a cheezy smile.

two.

Skandar got defensive. Arlin could feel his hands touch her all-too-revealed open back black dress. “Well, hello Arlin. It’s very nice to meet you…” Xavier said to her. “Likewise,” she figured she’d finally use that line from that old movie, since she looked the part. Skandar made a face and stared at Arlin. He looked down at her lower back, checking how far down she’d been exposed to the world, and his little “co-star”. “Arlin, I think we should go…” “But we JUST got here..” “And here,..” Skandar swiftly slipped off his jacket and covered Arlin’s bare back. “Skandar! What are you doing?!” “I don’t want you to catch a cold, love.” He quickly, but forcefully went in to kiss her forehead. “We wouldn’t want that, now. Eh, Skandar?” Xavier suggested, smiling at Arlin. Skandar’s smile was probably the most pathetically practiced of them all. You could practically read his exact thoughts on this “Xavier.” Arlin was, however, fantasizing, quietly and involuntarily. Long pause plus a few more flashes of bright light… Skandar smiled for some cameras, Arlin did the same, only a little more realistically, because of her vivid daydreams that were, of course, involuntarily thought up. Xavier followed, seductively scratching his chin and smiling widely. Once everyone went inside to watch the final product of their grand movie premiere, Arlin sat next to Skandar, who’s hand was palm-up, in case Arlin needed it. Xavier was on Arlin’s open side, the right, smiling widely every time that he caught Arlin gazing “secretively” at him from his peripheral vision. Arlin cried and smiled at the excitement of Narnia’s third adventurous continuation. Arlin and Skandar exited the theatre, Xavier following them out with the rest of the crowd of celebrities/etc. “It was VERY nice to meet you, Arlin. Skandar.” The best smile in the universe displayed upon his wonderful, Australian face. Then, it slowly faded as he walked away. Arlin felt like frowning, but Skandar was looking at her from the corner of his eye-and she could easily tell because of how often he did that during…other things. Skandar smirked at the thought of leaving all of this and being alone with his girlfriend. He quickly grabbed her at the waist and removed her from the premises. “Let’s go home?“  He whispered it as a question into her right ear. Arlin nodded her head, smiling a bit mischievously. It got a little chilly, making Arlin instinctively shove her hands deep into her pockets. She felt a piece of paper that had not been there before. It wasn’t a gum wrapper, and it didn’t feel like a receipt.

three.

Flip. Click. Smack. Skandar’s lips were instantly burning-hot on top of Arlin’s. They switched the lights on to avoid hitting and breaking things. Skandar slipped, holding him and Arlin up with his hand smacking against the wall. Arlin’s head rested onto that same wall, where Skandar’s fingers wound their way into Arlin’s hair. Lips smacking, deep breathing. THAT was the sound of an all-too-good "after-party.” “Are you okay with this?” Skandar breathed into Arlin’s ear, as he kissed it, then going for her jawline, to her neck. “Not with talking…while this is going on..” Arlin tried to control her breathing. Skandar pulled her closer to his face, their lips pressing feverishly against one another. I think he got the hint.

All along the wall, Skandar flipped a couple of switches he had found along the way. His eyes were focused on Arlin’s lips-which were oh-so conveniently found on his own. Finally, the room with the comfortable bed that felt like sleeping on a cloud stood in front of them. Arlin stopped kissing him, smiling in the dark. Eskimo kiss, Eskimo kiss, etc. Arlin’s hands went from up and around Skandar’s hair, down, behind his neck; her fingers feverishly toying with his tie/buttons on his shirt.THIS was about as interesting as sitting in that theater a few minutes ago-and Arlin was QUITE the enthusiast, if you asked Skandar;) Within seconds, Skandar’s shirt had been unbuttoned for the dark room and Arlin’s eyes to admire. Skandar smirked his British smirk. Arlin’s panting got louder as Skandar’s fingers drifted, showing no mercy. Before she could say stop, he was already ahead of her thoughts within a mile… “Quite the Christmas present, eh?” Skandar whispered into her hair, as he kissed it, holding Arlin closely to his body. Arlin didn’t know whether to fidget or come even closer than they already were (as if it were possible.) She figured that staring into his eyes wouldn’t hurt, only they decided to burn into her soul, somehow. She couldn’t even explain it. Her spine was tingling uncontrollably. It was almost as if she were on a high cloud that she couldn’t find her way off of. Yup. That’s Skandar for ya. Skandar’s hands ran through Arlin’s hair. He played with it. It hit his chest every time he went for it. The length was incredulously sexy to him. Oh, the British. Arlin rolled her eyes and added a little sarcasm; her first words of the night since: “You seem like you’re having loads of fun…”

“Hm?”

“Sleeping AGAIN, Skandar?! WHAT am I going to do with you?”

“I don’t know…But I’d like to find out.”

“Alright. YOU’RE DONE.”

“No….I think I’m just getting warmed up.”

Arlin smiled into the dark, blushing uncontrollably at Skandar’s evil, manipulative smirk that she instantly felt attached to her lips. The rest was a mystery under some covers.

four.

                               ***-flashback. Christmas in a place like California is quite different. It’s rarely ever cold. If it snows, it’s because of some mishap with ‘Global Warming.’ There are palm trees EVERYWHERE! That doesn’t necessarily scream “Merry Christmas!” to me, at least. I sighed as I looked down at the tiny people. (Well, they weren’t THAT tiny. I was only a few feet up.) My doorbell rang. I wasn’t really expecting anyone…I felt sort of embarrassed to answer the door. I had boxes of decorations all over the place! Some empty, some full of, well…stuff. I didn’t know I still owned half the stuff that I saw around my living room of my apartment. Arlin beat me to the door. That didn’t happen too often. “What’s your plan THIS time?” I asked sarcastically.

“PLAN?! MEE?! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT…”

“Uh-HUH…” The door opened and out popped a chunk of Christmas tree. This thing was HUGE and real. I knew I smelled some strong pine cone. Holding the tree seemed to be Skandar, Arlin’s boyfriend, and someone who I couldn’t put together. He, or she, was behind the whole bottom half of the tree. They rushed in and stood the tree up, support and all set up to stand the tree on its own. “Merry Chrismas?” Perry whispered into my ear.I almost jumped out of half my clothes.

“Don’t DO that!” I hit him lightly. He kissed me like he hadn’t seen me in days.

“And WE’RE the ones constantly told to get a room…” Arlin murmured. Skandar agreed.I made them suffer and wrapped my arms around Perry’s neck. He sniffed at me. I was taken aback.

“Your hair smells good.”

“OH…Thanks.” I smiled, cracking up inside my mind. (That was weird.)

“Okay, Arlin. We got your Christmas tree.” Perry looked at her, holding me around my waist. “Now what?” He waited for direction.

“WE DECORATE!” She said, smiling ear to ear.

“UH-OH.” I said. Skandar and Perry giggled. Arlin scolded them from a distance. We began to decorate. The task alone took an hour. Arlin walked out of the kitchen. “Hot cocoa, anyone?” “Arlin..We’re in California, and it’s eigthy-two degrees outside…” “Psh. I don’t care. It’s Christmas!” Skandar giggled, grabbing a mug. “Cheers…?” I said; chinking of glasses broke the silence.                                 ***-end flashback.

five.

I’ve come to the realization that I’m unhappy with my life. In two words: Co-workers suck. They ruin EVERYTHING! I was sitting in my little office, awkwardly. I was so used to working at home that I found it uncomfortable to have to physically be here. The boss said there were newbies who were in need of some dire training and that I was one for the job. Whoopdeedo. I’m not anti-social. I just don’t want to be around the crowded little office-like work area. I mean, I thought that I wanted it, but once I had gotten a whiff of it, I exhaled as soon as I had inhaled. Peasants.

I saw one of the younger newbies coming my way. He was typical fresh meat: glasses that he didn’t actually have a prescription for, a tablet instead of a notepad to make himself distinctively stand out amongst the crew; his hair was disheveled, yet was combed in the formation of a leaning 'Mount Olympus’. His clothing was representative of the attendents’ attire at his parents’ country club. The kid had style-for a newbie. I had hoped that for a milisecond, this one would have a fully-functioning brain.

He walked towards me; but you should have seen this kid. He was thinking of himself as one of those “cool guys” from a freaking H&M commercial or something. His face was absolutely flawless. Lips, eyes, ears and nose were all within the perfect distance and symmetry. His professionalism was astonishing, actually. I watched him inch closer from where I was standing. He seemed a little uneasy about  that; so much that in that moment, I had no doubt in my mind that if it hadn’t been for his excellent designs and ideas, he would have most definitely gotten fired from the office in that moment. With that, he got to where I, as well as the rest of the interns, were standing, and while he was getting ready to shake my hand, he moved his electronic device to snug under his left armpit to shake my hand but forgot to crush his arm against his body with pressure and his device found its way to my left foot. This was embarrassing for one, as they had all been holding mental bets to who would screw up first in any minute way possible. Secondly, I could imagine that his perfectly untainted reputation had possibly been destroyed by his little incident and he was trying to hide his petty little-boy tears; I must say that this idea was a little enjoyable to me. I hope he didn’t think it was that easy to get out of here. Plus,..he showed more potential than all of the rest of the group. Even though I was the boss, I had to follow through with equal opportunity guidelines.

[suckitsurveys]

When was the last time someone chased you with a hose? Not since I was a kid. Do you still wear armbands or rubber rings in the pool? No. What was the last TV show you watched? Friends. Is your door open right now? The door to my office is yes. What was the last conversation you had with someone about? Work.

When was the last time you sang outloud? This morning on the way to work. What was the last parcel you received? A bill yay. How are you feeling right now? Sleepy. Would you rather go on holiday somewhere warm or somewhere cold? WARM. Do you mask being negative by calling it ‘realistic’? No. I wouldn’t call it masking it. Are you one of those people who talks to everyone when you’re out? Nope. Are you in a relationship right now? Yes. Do you collect anything? Panda trinkets. When was the last time you did a hobby of yours? I guess right now. Do you prefer rollercoasters or water rides? Water slides. Where did you go on the last trip you took? Boston. What’s the longest car journey you’ve been on? 21 hours. From Boston to Chicago. What time is it right now? 7:30am. What are your best friends initials? SAG, LRR, RRB, MAW, EML. What would be your ideal pet? My kitties are. Are there any websites you just don’t see the point in? I mean, probably. What is something that is always going to make you smile? My kitties, my nieces, my husband. What was the last chore you did? Cleaned cat boxes. Do you keep the bags you get when you go shopping? Sometimes. Do you like reality TV shows? Eh. Have you got anything you’ve had since you were a baby? Yes. Does it annoy you when people don’t understand what you’re talking about? It’s frustrating. Have you ever spoken to someone on the phone while on the toilet? Yes haha. Is there anyone you’re really jealous of? People who have money. Would you rather have a chocolate or strawberry cake for your birthday? Neither. Yellow. Do you hit electronics when they don’t work? Sure. Is your radiator on right now? I have a space heater on that looks like one haha. Do you dislike any certain group of people? Racists. Queerphobes. Sexists. Abusers. Rapists. Trump supporters. Have you ever bought anything you really wanted, only to never use it? I’ve done that with clothes. Do you like reading or playing video games more? I guess video games. I play games on my phone a lot. What’s your favourite place to go for a drink? I don’t have a favorite place. What colour are your jeans? Dark blue. Have you ever been on those vanity groups on MySpace? I wanna say yes? Which celebrity would you love to be friends with? Aubrey Plaza. What’s your favourite holiday? Christmas. Are you scared of fireworks? No. Do you hate loud people? Yes. What about people who speak really loudly on their phones in buses? I really don’t need to hear your conversation. What was the last flyer someone gave you for? I don’t recall. Do movies / books inspire you to change your life in any way? Sure. Do you read movie quotes even when you haven’t seen the movie? Sure. What are you most excited for right now? Vacation next month. Have you bought a water pistol for Summer? Nope. Do you get embarrassed when the buzzer at the airport goes off on you? I haven’t had that happen. What does your favourite bag look like? It’s a black bookbag with primary color dinos on it. Do you customize your possessions? I mean, some? What does your last received text message say? My sister asking if I’m coming over tonight. Do you like drawing all over people / their belongings? Not anymore. What’s a smell that makes you feel ill? (besides the obvious :P) The perfume the lady who cleans our office wears. It makes me want to DIE. When was the last time someone told you they loved you? This morning. Do you get lonely easily? Eh. Do you read Texts From Last Night? (you should xD) I used to. I still have them on my Facebook. What advert is showing on your screen right now? None. Do you wear baseball caps backwards? No. What was the last thing you ate? A strawberry. Is there any talent you would love to have? I’d like to play an instrument. Or be good at drawing. Have you ever deliberately tripped someone up? Yes. Do you constantly hate the majority of people? Yes and no. Do you like etch-a-sketchs? Sure. Do you have any boxsets for TV shows? I might? I can’t think of any off the top of my head. I do, however, own every season of a few TV shows. I’d get them as gifts when that was popular. Do you think it’s weird when people put ‘Bye’ at the end of their surveys? I don’t like when surveys talk to me haha