#and rather than a bald spot holding me back from physical intimacy it’s my cystic acne
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr has a 66 index score for customer satisfaction in the US.
Text
just read My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness. bawled my eyes out. never felt so seen. considering hiring myself an escort.
#I’ve thought about it since I turned 18 but always chickened out for lots of reasons#I don’t agree w the idea that sex is Special and should only be with someone Special#as much of a romantic I am if I keep up that attitude I’ll be lonely forever#I’m so touch starved and broken I pity the hypothetical first lay of mine who will have to be subjected to my insanity#so why should it be with someone for free? they deserve compensation for that. so I should pay a professional. they know what’s up#maybe it won’t feel so bad. knowing they don’t love me and we’ll never have a Real relationship#that could happen w anyone I sleep with? and why should I feel entitled to a relationship with that person? I shouldn’t.#I should just enjoy the activity for what it is and move on with my life. it’s not special. and it would hopefully be cathartic#and maybe heal a little bit of me.. and on top of it all they’ll be compensated for it.#but just like the mangaka my body is disgusting too. I can’t stick w a proper grooming routine to save myself#and rather than a bald spot holding me back from physical intimacy it’s my cystic acne#maybe my acne won’t go away ever. should I really obsess over it so much? should I really prevent myself from being with someone?#maybe I could just wear a mask or tell them not to touch my face.#I've been telling myself for months not to give a fuck about what my parents want of me. what anyone thinks I should be doing#just do what feels right to me. what I know I can handle even if it's not impressive#even if it's the bare minimum to prevent me from killing myself. just try to enjoy the simple things. enjoy being alive#i can be a shitty stay at home writer/artist and a friendless loser and that's okay. I have to try things to start loving myself somehow#being loved shouldn't be my ultimate goal#uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu#my bullshit
1 note
·
View note